#the men in my class don't have to deal with this bullshit

[it-is-the-hannah]

I feel like I should get extra time on final exams if I have to take them while on my period. Or like I get to randomly scream while taking them. Something.

[novella-november]

Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.

I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.

Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D

Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!

It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!

As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!

Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),

but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--

you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!

[ms-demeanor]

i really liked OJST in the mid-2010s but i didn’t stop reading cause of the cuck comic - wasn’t there also a comic erika moen wrote about (functionally) harassing lesbians with her now-husband?

In the mid 2010s closet-keys criticized one of Erika Moen's early diary comics and described Erika Moen as "Reassuring a cishet partner that it’s totally okay to use hate speech towards wlw at Pride" and condoning the harassment and fetishization of lesbians because of a 2007 comic that she had made as part of a webcomic she had written about gender and her interactions with her queerness.

The hate speech in question is the partner asking "are you sure you want to hold my hand with all these dykes around?" while they are pretty clearly at a Dyke Day event during pride, and the reassurance that 'it's totally okay to use hate speech toward wlw' is Erika responding "sweetie, I'm proud to be with you."

The comic is still up with a disclaimer that it was written at a different time, and I know that's probably not going to fly with a lot of people but if you were a bi woman in the early to mid 2000s it was pretty common to use statements like "lol yeah i'm into women my boyfriend is fine with it as long as I take pictures" to diffuse the biphobia from straight people AND to say shit like "I'm not a party bi, I actually love pussy, thanks" to diffuse the biphobia from queer people. (if you were a bi guy in the early to mid 2000s i'm sorry and I'm sorry now because we got LUG but that mostly went away and you *still* have to deal with the "gay in waiting" bullshit).

That comic ends with Erika and her partner looking at a woman and saying "I'd totally do her" while the woman thinks "pigs" and if you think that means that they literally sat on the street and vocally commented about lesbians passing by them or that they condone harassing lesbians (in, I cannot stress this enough, a diary comic written by someone in their early twenties who is realizing they are occasionally interested in some men some of the time after identifying as a lesbian their whole life), then I'm gonna go ahead and recommend signing up for some variety or other of literary analysis class. Do we think that Erika is seriously implying that she is going to make her boyfriend gay if she fucks him in this comic from a year later?

If this comic bothers you and you see it as a straight-passing couple giving the go-ahead to harass lesbians, you do you, I'm not saying you have to read the comic or enjoy Erika Moen.

I am saying it's a bit of a stretch, though, and certainly the least charitable explanation possible, and that we should probably give people some space to say awkward things about their sexuality and to make missteps when discussing it in their early twenties and not call them lesbophobic fifteen years after the fact for a college comic.

Moen also gets called transphobic because she has described trans men as adorable/cute in a way that could be read as patronizing in one comic and because she made a comic about wearing a packer for fun and for sexual gratification with her cis male partner as a cis woman.

Appropriately, all of these things feel very "late twenty teens tumblr callout post."

If it bugs you, you don't have to read the comics but I've talked about Moen before and I've gotten the anons in my inbox calling me lesbophobic for recommending her comic when in 2007 she made a comic about catcalling lesbians and condoning street harassment.

Which is frustrating because Erika Moen writes a comic about sex toys that has incredible body and gender diversity and is interested in making sure that people of all sexualities are having safe, enjoyable sex and talking openly about it. This is Rebecca Sugar condones war crimes level discourse over a creator who makes a genuinely good comic and gets dismissed as cringe by people who hate open discussions of sex and gets dismissed as a bigot (in ways that I think are incredibly unfair given the vast majority of her work) among people who *claim* to love open discussions of sex but who *actually* love witch hunts.

[rowretro]

𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭, 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

request by @nikipedia07 <3 I think I may hav gone a lil off track w this one but hope u love it sweetie

✧warnings: violent descriptions, yandere/toxic themes

✧synopsis: Jay is a fairly well known mafia boss around Korea. However, there is a small area where he's never been seen. An area where his enemy is hiding in, and were his beloved lives. When he first set his eyes on y/n, he didn't think about anything else but making her his, and so he decided to even put through the worst, just to make her love him the way he loves her.

✧◇✧◇✧◇✧◇✧◇✧◇✧◇✧◇✧

It all started when he was on a mission. Of course she didn't see him but he saw her. how she hugged some kids, shielding them from the suited men gunning down some other tatted men. God he loved the look of fear in her eyes, and how adorable she was shielding the small kids. Jay nodded at the men, and they walked off, not even bothering to glance in y/n's direction. Since the day he set eyes on the angel princess, he knew she was meant to be his,

That's how Jay found himself in high school, in uniform, despite being in his twenties. He threatened the head to make sure he was in every single one of y/n's class. which meant dealing with some crazy students. "Oh my god bitch could you like shut da fuck up?" Lia said glaring at Sungchan who was just eating his Cheetos "you talking to me?" Sungchan asked as the girl rolled eyes.

"Nah bitch I was talking to the girl stroking the wall- YES YOU YOU WANKER!" Lia yelled as Y/n turned around frowning "Is this a classroom or your bedroom?! Lia language. Sungchan, put those snacks away and focus." Y/n warned as she took more notes "Damn lady you gotta chill-" Sungchan mumbled as he put his Cheetos away.

Jay glanced at Sungchan, not liking his bullshit one bit. However he bit his tongue, he didn't snap at the male and instead, stared at y/n. God when he saw his darling focus solely on teaching the students, being so patient and sweet no matter how bitchy they were, he feels so calm.

"Kay class... I'll see you after break-" y/n said with a smile as she left the room. "She has got to be one of the hottest teachers in the school" Jinyoung said as he turned to the group of boys "She's like 2 or 3 years older than us- how is she teaching?" Lia asked as the boys shrug "I mean I don't care, at least I get a nice view everytime she walks in-" Yuta says with a smirk, stretching his arms out.

Jay groaned as he stayed put in his seat. sleeping on his desk, trying to remain calm. Only 3 more minutes of this. Then his darling will come back. "Ok break ended 5 minutes ago. phones away, everyone back in your seats please," Y/n called out as the students rolled their eyes, getting back into their seat.

As y/n continued to teach, she noticed that the class weren't even trying to pay attention, all of them messing about, sleeping around, eating snacks. It was as if she wasn't even there. They didn't hear her, they didn't bother listening to her, it was like she was talking to a brick wall. Except one student, who was actively listening and taking notes. Jay.

However, the noise only got worse all of a sudden. Not the students being even more annoying, but instead they were screaming. Many ducked down and hid under their tables. "Ah fuck you have got to be fucking kidding me." Jay mumbled, getting up as he pulled a gun out, shooting the 4 enemies that had broken in to kill him. His uniform was now stained with blood as his men walked in.

"Clean the bodies I'm done with this act." Jay said as he walked up to y/n pulling her up, his arm around her waist, as her body hit his, his eyes met her panicked pair. "So fucking beautiful... and all mine. You think I sat in school again for fun? I graduated I don't even have to be here." Jay said as he carried her, out of the classroom, ignoring her kicks and screams. "OH MY GOD HE'S PARK FUCKIN JONGSEONG-" Lia screamed as she showed the search results on her phone.

"why did you even come then?..." y/n mumbled to herself, unaware that Jay heard "I needed to get close to my princess before I take her to my palace... see y/n from now you will be living the life you deserve, a husband with expensive black suits who can give you many black cards... sweetheart you need a sweetheart. Me." Jay simply said as the girl frowned.

(OK SO IM NOT HAPPY WITH THIS, I THINK I WENT OFF TRACK BUT I'LL DO A PART 2 FOR THIS IF UW)

[parasiticacidic]

A NonBinary Visor I made at work for Pride!

I work at a leather shop and we get to make special projects for the store so I really wanted to make this enby one specifically because even though leatherworking is very lgbtqia+ friendly you also have the other end of the spectrum being conservatives who make their disgusting opinions very evident whenever they come into the store so to deter those interactions I've been trying to make more pride items for our really amazing lgbtqia+ community along for us staff members :3 idk why people look at me with red hair square pink glasses while I'm wearing capris and think lemme "debate" them on people using they/them pronouns >:[ BABE GET A GRIP!

(Also the amount of disrespect and hate I get for just being/presenting as a young women working at this store is insane)(so I know it's just as hard if not harder for the other lgbtqia+ workers in our chain putting up with bullshit customers will say to us)

(Example of an interaction i had: I was just tending the register when someone comes up with his wife and son and the first thing he said was "Do you work here" and I'm like obvi ? Then he said "No, do you work here work here like do you actually know anything about this stuff" and I was like "I do this is my name badge" (also I was trained?? Extensively bc we also do leather classes so I need to understand and know different things) and then he was like "well I'm just wondering bc I have a question, is there actually a difference between leather paint and acrylic paint" I said "yes they are formulated differently but if you wanna know specifics read the ingredients on the label" like tf I'm not gonna be nice all for that build up of your question like I'm not qualified to answer just for it to be about paint (I'm also a painting major?!) bc if it was my male co worker working the register you wouldn't have lead with "do you work here" you would've just asked, like NO IM JUST STANDING BEHIND THE REGISTER BC I WONDERED IN OFF THE STREET uuuguggjrhrhrhrhr, also his wife and son just watching this interaction??? There's so much that could be said about that but whatever my beef is with him, like it's not a big deal but it's the way men feel like they can come up to me and immediately question my credibility working here) *steps off my soapbox*

Anyways (ToT) happy pride! The amount of ridicule we face in the work place is beyond disrespectful they don't even need to know anything about you they just size you up and immediately come to their own conclusions about you and treat you a subhuman when they are the actual animals, in the end we have a better understanding of ourselves, humanity, honesty, and bravery when they will never be able to escape from the cage society has put their minds in (which ultimately is sad for them but if you're a conscious being there's moments in your life when you can reflect on your self and the environment around you and find your truth instead of continuing to "play your part" but the animals that benefit from the system will never seek change and will hate on the ones who defy their "normal" always out of fear)

[reallyromealone]

I was binging your stories and I was wondering from this. Do you think reader would've had a omegan drop if he didn't get help from Bonten Gang, the stress of like a newborn and a rebellious son taking a toll on him, then the son being there to witness like 'shit what to do I do? My dads are going to kill me'.

Idk just a thought.

Ohohooo

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

(Name) felt dizzy, he had been all day.

His pups were non-stop, his eldest being particularly prickish and doing shit he shouldn't and his youngest wasn't feeling well and sobbing non-stop.

"Shh shh!" (Name) tried soothing tho sobbing baby, having just given them their bottle and a fresh diaper.

His mates were working hard, unable to spend time at home often and besides... (Name) wanted to be a stay at home Omega to care for his kids... He could handle this.

Right?

Eventually his pup quieted down and fell asleep and (name) let out a sigh of relief, his head pounding and body trembling aggressively as he went to stand up.

His son walked into the room as he saw his Dam drop.

Time moved slowly as he managed to catch (name), the Omega shaking as his body went limp and the scent of (scent) gone from the air.

He knew he was one of the sole causes of this drop, having been an absolute menace to his dam but seeing the other drop... Was terrifying.

"What do I do?!" Having not paid attention to secondary gender classes at all safe for the Alpha portions left him like a fish out of water.

"God they're gonna kill me!" The ramifications of what he's done now setting in, how was he going to explain this to his sires!

He can hear the questions now "well why didn't you help him?" What was he going to say?! "I didn't see him as a person, omegas should just be able to handle this stuff"

Papa Mikey would kick him into the sun!

(Name) was completely unresponsive and (sons name) didn't realize what time it was as the first half of his dad's stepped through the door "(name)?!" Kakucho said panicked as the four men rushed to the Omega "what happened?!" Sanzu hissed out and (sons name) was freaking out as he watched Rindō lift (name) into his arms "we need to get him to the hospital now!"

"(Sons name)! Grab your sister!"

"I-I don't know how to hold her!"

"What do you mean?! You held he plenty of times when helping (name)" that's what (name) said in the phone after all.

"I-I... Don't help"

"WHAT?!" The men were livid as Mochi checked (name) "we will deal with this at the hospital, he needs help now!"

The other half met them at the hospital, (name) hooked up to machines and is thankfully stable but unconscious as Ran kissed his forehead gently.

"Explain."

(Sons name) wanted the world to devour him as his dad's stared him down "why aren't you helping him? Helping your sister? The man gives you unconditional love and this is what you give back?!"

"He's just an Omega he can Handle it!"

The room went cold as Koko stared his kid down "what did you say?"

"H-hes an Omega! They're baby machines! It's not my fault he wasn't good enough to handle it!"

"He's not a fucking machine you little shit! He's a person! Just like you and he obviously has been dealing with some bullshit to have had a drop to this degree!"

"Well why don't you guys help huh?!"

"Because we bust our asses to keep you fed! And we do fucking help, who do you think does the night feedings and changes?!"

"When he wakes up, we are learning all the shit you do and if our suspicions are correct, you're going to fucking military school" Sanzu gritted out to his kid, barely wanting to look at the kid whom (name) devoted so much love and time too only to do this shit.

Unforgivable.

When (name) woke, he was clingy as hell and flickering from his omega state as Mikey held him close to soothe him "pups?"

"They're right there baby" Mikey pointed to his kids, Sanzu holding their babe to give (name) "what happened...?" (Name) slurred out and Mikey nosed at his scent gland "you dropped baby"

(Name) looked wide eyed as his pup fed from him "what happened (name)"

(Name)s eyes watered up, now having to face his problems head on as a soft hiccup left his lips.

The alphas attention turned to their son who rolled his eyes "Kakucho, wait in the hall with him"

When the two left the room, (name) was urged to share and he did.

Apologies were sputtered out, the alphas feeling shitty for not being home enough to catch this problem that clearly got so bad their beloved dropped.

"I-I don't know what to do anymore..." (Name) mumbled exhausted, snuggling into Mikey as ran held their baby girl "sleep, we will handle it"

(Name) didn't leave his room as his mates got into the car with their son, keeping to their word about millitary school.

Koko came and checked on (name), the alphas working out a chart on who could be home each day with (name) to help out especially during his recovery "I-I just feel like I failed..." (Name) mumbled and Koko kissed him gently "you didn't fail, we couldn't have predicted him making friends with shitlings"

"You're a great dam and a great mate, I don't want to hear otherwise"

"Ok alpha..."

"Good..."

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/3/2024

having a lot of fun with toddler enrichment activities in this household, until we bit through the bag and the foil and the water and hated that experience

listening

fun citypop version of Good Luck Babe! by Amandumb and Sakura Wine, “ganbatte” scans to “good luck babe” SCARY well. this is both off a tiktok my best friend sent me and the spotify recommended weekly

-

reading

quite frankly this makes me nervous and i am backing up my blogs as we speak. i sort of believe them when they say that we won't see a difference on the front end, but this is a HUGE migration. SOMETHING is going to go not perfectly.

William Greenleaf's TIME JUMPER (1980, 224p) and Joe Millard (my beloathed)'s Blood For A Dirty Dollar (1980 European reprint of a 1973 American book, 156p). thank you philip. time jumper is from a thrift store somewhere (possibly from the free book shelf at the umass engineering library) and the cowboy book is from ebay. they lied about the condition and the heavy smoke smell so i ended up getting it for free :) in no world is that a Very Good condition book!!!

time jumper! i do not think the back cover blurb (below) is very accurate.

COMBINED DESTINIES! One Earth of the far future, city dwellers live in a technologically advanced environment, while bands of nomads barbarically hunt and farm the plains. Hidden within the city is Erin, a crazed scientist, who is constructing a timejumper. On the plains is a nomad boy who quests after the city's secrets. Unknown to both, an evil force works to keep them apart, for it knows that if they ever meet, a new Earth destiny would be inevitable!

i looooove a bubble city. i love long lingering shots of technology and city-scapes and city politics. i would not call the nomads barbarians, bc they are a trading society who set up crop irrigation in their seasonal fields and have a giant traveling library with card catalogue. i would also not call Erin crazed or hidden, bc he is the richest man in the city. reclusive, yes. single-minded, yes. pretty sane though. he is a little person and i think the book handled this fairly deftly for 1980? most of his obstacles are physical and not societal. finally, the evil force is not working to keep them apart bc it doesn't even know about the outside kid. they mostly just want to stop anyone from leaving.

now that we know the back blurb is lies, what's the deal with this book? mostly wrestling with how automation leads to a loss of purpose and flattening of culture, breaking cycles, cyclical natures of histories thereof, and repeating old sins. however, one of the more frustrating endings ive ever read with the very last paragraph containing the suicide of a minor character. we simply didn't fucking need that last paragraph.

i found the dialogue a little bland but book overall quite evocative. it felt like a sixties scifi show constructed from castoff theater sets. it felt like this screenshot from rollerball. a lot of shapes. a lot of giant gardens. a lot of flattened textures.

i also liveblogged the cowboy book here. we've previosuly looked at the one with the balloon and the jailbreak but this is the one with the mad englishman and the imported castle and the missing scientists. i love a description of Legally Not Lee van Cleef Because We Don't Have A Royalty Agreement

-

watching

X-Men: First Class (2011, dir. Vaughn) was way more fun than i was expecting??? it's fun to watch these with my bestie's husband who is a fairly intense x-men fan and Will pause the movie for several minutes to explain why a specific character's death was fucking bullshit or answer one of my stupid costuming questions

-

playing

the new mesoamerican fire-aligned nation of Natlan is out in genshin impact! VERY beautiful region even though i think it is a crime, to me personally, to show me a village of observation balloons and then tell me i can't actually go there for six weeks until the next patch.

this is a little bit more of a frustrating experience bc my tolerance for the least little thing going wrong is at record lows. once you hit 100% on a map region it feels more like a true 100% ing the area, which is a little scary bc this usually means you have anywhere from 10-20% more Stuff to do and find and collect. one quest is straight up bugged for me (very unusual) and i cannot get a specific mechanic (the yunkasaur, the little green pokemon lookin motherfucker above, flame spitting) to fire with any sort of accuracy. why have a sight and a center pip if you CANNOT aim it.

some parts of the map look a little more seussical than others.

to whoever made sure this observation balloon lined up with the window when you entered this waypoint building, i see you. thank you.

-

making

fallow week.

[cyarskj1899]

As Hagrid said, "Better out than in" 🧵 First, last and always, thank you to everyone who did something. Whether you knocked on doors, registered voters, texted, sent postcards, educated your circles, called out disinformation, and voted. WE DID NOT FAIL. We were failed 1/

2/ by the same things that have failed to let America live up to its ideals and the words that were once credible to the world. They are no longer. To the world or to me. I'm done trying to educate the ineducable. I no longer trust any white people I don't already know

3/ and any I do know who become Good Germans in appeasing what's to come and silence is appeasement. To the reported 20% of Black men and the Latino men who helped put Trump back in the WH, there is no sympathy from me when he comes for you. That goes thrice as

4/ much for the white women who did. You don't care about yourselves, your daughters, your sisters, cousins, friends and sure as fuck, not non-white people, especially non-white women who confront the misogny all women deal with plus the racism. Including and most

5/ profoundly from you as you choose to preserve your place on a pedestal that will be smashed from under you. My strength is fueled by the fact that you are too weak to deal with it so get what you get and I don't give a gnat's fart. Screw your vapid and hollow

6/ symbolic cosplay marches. Save your #notallww bullshit. Again, if I don't already know and trust you don't ask me to. Been there. Did that in 2016. Told you in 2020 and since what would happen. But no, I heard "not this one"..."not all WW" well, just like when

7/ children get asked "Who ate all the cookies", I'm over "Wasn't me" when you had the numbers to make a difference and here we are. Too many of you lied in our faces 'cause...somebody did. My grandmother, who lived unde segregation and discrimination both of race and gender

It was never Joe’s age. It was never Harris’s policies. It is America. far too many Americans are happy with trumpism For everyone that worked double time for Harris-Walz!! Bravo! There is really nothing more you could’ve done. America simply wants the dictator. Maybe Maybe the House should go Republican after all. Let Trump and the GOP own whatever they’re about to do. I’m tired of Democrats trying to save the country and getting nothing in return. America asked for this, so have at it.

8/ and lived in fear from 2016 to 2020 will more than likely die under the next Trump Admin. She's weathered aging and health challenges and life...I'm not sure she's going to weather this at almost 85 years old and living on the Social Security and pensions made

9/ smaller than they should be because of discrimination that was normal for most of her lifetime. You get what you vote for. Don't cry when you get it. When loved ones and people you know are deported, IDGAF how you feel. When the economy struggles and we are

10/ further ruled by oligarchs like Musk, and you struggle? IDGAF how you feel. When your daughters die from lack of treatment of miscarriages? IDGAF how you feel. When those Black men who thought they were going to eat voting for Trump

11/ are profiled and harmed? IDGAF how you feel. There were Germans who never thought Hitler would go as far as he did. There were German Jews who thought they were Germans first. We are supposed to learn from history so we don't repeat it. You failed the class. in four years, regardless if trump leaves for the final time, we’re forever defined by the same way the Germans are forever defined by Hitler dictatorship: people didn’t stop him before he had the chance to nearly or completely this country.

12/ And in so doing, you failed the rest of us. So when we shrug, point, mock, and ask "WTF did you expect?" don't get sudden amnesia or act brand new. We'll regroup. Black women are an actual sisterhood. Those who truly love and support us and each other will do as we've done.

13/13 We'll collaborate. We'll remain a coalition. We will take care of each other. You told us we were on our own and on our own we will be. Y'all can figure things out or go screw. Makes no nevermind to me. You got what you voted for. If the country suffers it’s your fault. It would be a miracle if there’s any election afterwords. Until then yall need to Fucking deal. Oh and boo frucking hoo!

1776 - 2024 I’m afraid that unless there’s any hope left The American democratic republic experiment is over. 248 years.

[jacksoldsideblog]

On the loss of the worker class and the lack of hypocrisy in Project Mayhem

"What," he says, "what will you wish you'd done before you died?"

...

My job, I say. I wish I'd quit my job.

...

The mechanic starts talking, and it's pure Tyler Durden. 

"I see the strongest and the smartest men who have ever lived," he says, his face outlined against the stars in the driver's window, "and these men are pumping gas and waiting tables." 

The drop of his forehead, his brow, the slope of his nose, his eyelashes and the curve of his eyes, the plastic profile of his mouth, talking, these are all outlined in black against the stars. 

"If we could put these men in training camps and finish raising them. 

"All a gun does is focus an explosion in one direction. 

"You have a class of young strong men and women, and they want to give their lives to something. Advertising has these people chasing cars and clothes they don't need. Generations have been working in jobs they hate, just so they can buy what they don't really need. 

"We don't have a great war in our generation, or a great depression, but we do, we have a great war of the spirit. We have a great revolution against the culture. The great depression is our lives. We have a spiritual depression. 

"We have to show these men and women freedom by enslaving them, and show them courage by frightening them. 

"Napoleon bragged that he could train men to sacrifice their lives for a scrap of ribbon. 

"Imagine, when we call a strike and everyone refuses to work until we redistribute the wealth of the world. 

"Imagine hunting elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center.

"What you said about your job," the mechanic says, "did you really mean it?"

.

Chapters 18-19, Fight Club.

Well known, probably, for the facetious nature of stating there’s no war in the generation in the 90s as having no war when the Gulf war ‘ended’ in ‘91, and in ‘03 we’d be back in Iraq. Also known well for its inclusion in the movie. 

But like, what’s actually being said there, when you get past that?

You have: The working class of America was emaciated as jobs flew overseas and were rerouted to prison ‘labor’, rapidly deindustrializing the country and leaving those left behind to be shoved into bullshit jobs to create a consumer managerial class, a fangless servile underclass without real power to affect the day to day of society, and a very, very small remaining working class. People who once would have been integral to the function of society are now further alienated and reduced to consumers in a deindustrialized feedlot. All that’s left is the hopelessness, which everyone can see is a cataclysmic disease. A problem that has to be solved. You have such a severe loss of power, such strong alienation that fight club develops as a way to grasp even a sense of control and purpose.

You have: Men especially have been promised war and hard times as the catalyst for their own purpose, but now this generation has seen war, has seen hard times, and none of those promises are stacking up. The poisoning and bombing of civilians in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, doesn’t quite match with the image of righteously dying to end nazism. There is no sudden government program buying up the labor of the beleaguered man down on his luck, to create massive publics works projects and revitalize the surrounding world and economy, a la the New Deal. The propagandized images of the past have been tarnished. There is an acute sense of lack of purpose, lack of value. There is an acute sense of something needing to shift, something massive.

You have: a manufactured rejection of the working class, a debridement of labor, a world in which salary has no relation to the importance or effort of the work you do; there is no value.

He says, imagine; the American people revitalized to the power and importance of before. Strong and undistracted, no longer pacified by petty admittance to jobs with no purpose, no longer accepting of their devaluation, no longer allowing their importance in the world the predicted value of their ad-influenceable leanings. 

Imagine; you’re afraid of history, you cannot imagine crafting a better world, anyone with a concrete plan has been gunned down and removed from power and all you’re left with is limpdicked fools who sit around waiting for a miracle to happen. Imagine you can only see destroying this one and hoping what rises from the ashes will be better as the answer. 

He's an accelerationist; make everything worse, so bad, hit bottom so all you can do is rise. 

So: accelerate. Take the average wage slave, already stripped of true individuality in favor of corporate signage, already stripped of power, and push them farther. Imagine, you think, only will everyone be strong if they finally accept that they are weak. Become the opposite of free. Join a cult. Become nothing and no one. Manifest the death cult already intrinsic in society. Become the nexus of all of society’s ills. Push people into such inhumanity that they will inevitably revolt against you and learn the true value of themselves in the world. 

And try to collapse society. Accelerate the fall of finance. Hasten the destruction of society so it can blossom again.

So yeah, it’s like… I think Project Mayhem’s hypocrisies are on purpose, really. Self improvement is masturbation if you’re never going to actually make a difference. Self destruction is the only thing that will allow you to reach even a moment of perfection. Destroy what you were, let go, fucking take action for once, unfreeze, DO something. Project Mayhem is an advanced version of fight club; it promises actualization through destruction. It isn’t like, some happenstance thing that results in Tyler making the space monkeys what they are. 

I think it’s moreso simply the manifestation of the accelerationist aspect of Tyler’s anarchist, nihilist ideals. And like those two, it’s also a criticism. The monkeys do not drag themselves free. They still await orders. It is a failed, ill planned philosophy of a rabid dog.

[the-scrappy-stinger]

So I'm a Spider, So What? (Specifically the first 6 books)

(Bee gets on the floor.)

Like, I don't know how many of you are aware of the- fuckin'- deep lore of... me. But I-

There we go! Like spiders.

So I start reading the spider books.

THE PREMISE: She's been isekai'd as the smallest, weakest, most delicate little spider in a big scary dungeon, and all she has is herself.

And it's honestly pretty great. It hits a LOT of my happy reader buttons. Like, look at the me that I am. I LOVE xenofiction. Reading from human perspective every single time gets dull- I like being a werewolf, or an Andalite, or a lion, and in this case? I love being this little spider. Her stream-of-consciousness makes perfect sense to me, and I like having the same kind of mechanical revelations as she does! It's enthralling!

... and then there's everyone else.

Yeah, you've probably seen or at least heard about the anime. You know it's not just Spider- it's also her entire class of humans turned into humans, doing their usual isekai things. One's the Hero. One's the Saintess who's got to sa- okay there's no evil tree this time, but still. My favorite weird twist is the one that's reborn as a yandere vampire, but that's 'cause I know a lot of vampires and I just track onto them. And they're okay? They're fine. They bore me, and I think I finally figured out what the deal is with a lot of these books.

It's agency.

When I look back over a lot of these? There's a SEVERE lack of independence with all the leads. Book Princess gets toted around by her prince. Jeanette the Genius has her rich fiance do everything for her. The 100th Timer tries to have agency and gets stalked by her boyfriends, and in THAT, she can't get rid of them. When the characters do have agency, they're weirdly murderous about it, like the Prison Princess, the Gun-Toter, and the Revengencer. And my used-to-be favorite, Lucia, is in danger of having her agency taken away from her because all the men around her have decided she HAS to be married for her own good!

Lacey keeps hers, and Spider? She does too... for the first five books.

And come the 6th? It's pretty much gone.

I guess I shouldn't spoil it, but I'll give you this much. If you like a badass lady lead that struggles but still comes out on top, relies on her brains, and comes up with some mad plans that work, then you'll like... about half of the books, because the other half is the same ol' isekai bullshit. Either you like the humans more than I do and stick around to make sure they're okay, or you won't. I dunno. I kinda wish I could just pick out my Spider and keep her, away from all the bad places the story goes, and just kind of play with her.

But that's kinda what I do already.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 9: Double Date Danger

~In the Man Cave~

Well, Miss Shapen sure knew how to pull numbers on people. Because she was a crazy cat-lady and just an all-round weirdo, Henry's teacher had badgered him into letting her attractive niece, Noelle stay at his house because the girl was allergic to cats (of which Miss Shapen had many) and nuts. This all would've been fine normally, Henry was perfectly happy to have a pretty girl stay in his house, where he'd be free to woo her, but Jasper wanted in on the deal. He didn't see why it was fair for his best friend to have all the ladies and for him to be left as a sad, lonely loser.  

Of course, the best friends rarely fell out, they had been through so much together, but if there's one thing that can get teenage boys to argue, it's a girl; one they both want, but both can't have and as such, Henry and Jasper had been arguing from the left moment they left school and arrived at the Man Cave.

"You know I'm right," Jasper whined at Henry as they and Charlotte stepped out of the elevator. The poor girl had been in the middle of the bickering for way too long and just wanted to sip her soda in peace. The boys were so loud and rambunctious, it drew the attention of the Man Cave's resident love birds, who were more than happy to talk about all the mushy stuff of relationships.

"Yeah, I know you're annoying me." Henry snapped back as the kids dumped their bags around the place and (y/n) nudged Ray when she picked up on the new tension in their home. 

"Come on, you pushed my last girlfriend out of a window." Jasper recounted, the memory of Henry shoving Courtney the nutter through Charlotte's bedroom window because she nearly killed them all.

"Only because she was chasing Charlotte and (y/n) with a power tool!" Henry defended himself, not seeing why Jasper was still hung up about that psychopath. She was hardly a girlfriend, more like a jealous, rampaging lunatic who nearly committed mass murder.

"They're fighting, sort it out." (y/n) whispered to Ray and gently pushed him in the direction of the quarrelling boys. She was backup, but Ray was the boss so it made more sense that he stepped in first.

"All right, all right...What's this back-n-forth banter about?" The superhero asked the boys as he and his girlfriend sauntered up to them, her wrapping her arms around his waist as he looked between both his sidekick and shop assistant.

"Okay, when two guys are buddies, like the same girl, which guy gets her?" Jasper asked his boss, thinking that he was a guy too, he had guy problems, surely he'd be able to help them. He had a girlfriend, plus lots of other experience they wouldn't mention, he could probably write a self-help book.

"Yeah, which guy gets her?" Henry added, looking at Ray with the same eagerness, but neither girl in the room was particularly happy about their word choice.

"Hang on a minute, "gets her"? That's a bit medieval, don't you think?" (y/n) butted in, not liking how they were essentially designating women as property claimed by men. That was some prehistoric bullshit; sure, she liked it when Ray provided for her and protected her, it was her cavewoman DNA speaking, but that didn't mean she belonged to him. Not in that sense.

"Oh, I think they mean, like, which guy obtains her." Ray clarified, thinking that a synonym would make things clearer, but it just resulted in (y/n) and Charlotte shaking their heads.

"Yeah, like gets to have her," Jasper added, seeing nothing wrong with how they were speaking. and it seemed like Henry was on their wavelength.

"Mmm-hmmm, for his own." He nodded, making the girls frown. Had they gone back in time thirty years? 

"You guys! Miss Shapen's niece is a person. She's not yours to get or have. She's not the last half of the sandwich." Charlotte explained in terms they'd understand, but it still didn't go in. Obviously, Henry and Jasper had skipped the class on gender equality.

"What's she saying?" Jasper hissed to Henry, who tried to give him an answer, but honestly, he had no clue what their friend was driving at and now, all he could think about was sandwiches.

"I'm saying, you should both ask her out and maybe let Noelle decide which one of you she wants to go out with," Charlotte rolled her eyes when all three boys started to laugh at her suggestion and (y/n) put her hand on her hips. Was this some dumb guy thing that she didn't get? She thought Ray was less of a jerk than this, but he still knew how to surprise her.

"Raymond..." She said in a low, warning tone and the laughter and amused scoffs soon died down when the three noticed one woman scowling and one girl smirking. 

"What? Are you guys afraid to ask Noelle which one of you she wants to go out with?" Charlotte's lips wobbled as she tried to stop herself from smiling at the boys' reaction. She was bang on with her assumption and they sure as hell didn't like being called out for the cowardly behaviour.

"Pfft, yeah right. More like not afraid"

"No, I doubt it...I fear no man." Henry and Jasper shrugged off the blatantly correct statement from Charlotte as Ray was suddenly distracted by his phone. He had dinner reservations booked and he wasn't going to mess this one up. She deserved a proper night out and he was going to give her one, even if it killed him.

"Oh my god, you two are terrible. You should ask the Shapen girl out and feel happy for whoever she says yes to, or support each other if she both turns you down." (y/n) told the boys, who bit their lips at the third possibility. It hadn't crossed their minds that Noelle might refuse both of them, but hey, they'd take their chances.

"Hey, I just don't want you to be upset when Noelle chooses to take the J-train," Jasper smirked at his best friend and gestured to himself as he said the odd nickname for himself. Charlotte didn't want to hear anymore, leaving (y/n) to stay loitering around the two as they continued to argue.

"Uh, okay. Well, the only thing more powerful than the J-train is...the H-bomb." Henry bragged and cooly adjusted his sweater as he breezed past the boy and the young woman snorted. She had to take a step back so they wouldn't hear her giggling at their ridiculous names and she found herself wandering over to Ray as she chuckled.

"I'm sorry, H-bomb, but here come da J-train. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, choo-choo!" Jasper pretended to be a train and got up in Henry's face as they began to attempt to outdo each other with their "coolness". Ray was forced into the corner with his girl in his arms as the boys continued to childishly make bomb and train noises, but he wouldn't let her see the restaurant booking on his phone. He wanted it to be a surprise.

"Chugga-chugga choo-choo!"

"Boom! Bam!" Jasper and Henry paced around the floor loudly and everyone waited for them to calm down, but it just wasn't happening. This was a pretty girl they were fighting over and they were desperate to be the one who got to take her out. Still, it was. nothing a good old-fashioned gun blast to the face couldn't solve and Charlotte was ready to fire.

~The next day~

That Noelle bitch. Well, she wasn't a bitch, not really. Henry was angry and bitter and jealous, all the emotions that a boy feels when the girl they were crushing on chooses their best friend because "she liked his smile". Yep, that's right, the dapper, boyish Henry Hart had been beaten by Jasper Dunlop in charming Noelle into a date.

He just couldn't believe it, girls never rejected him, not over Jasper anyway. Sure, the boy wasn't bad-looking, but Henry certainly had a certain appeal that ladies liked, but not Noelle. She had chosen Jasper for his quirkiness and unattainable charm, which left Henry sulking in the Man Cave with (y/n)'s arm around him as she and Ray did their best to help him through this "difficult time". He should've been happy for Jasper, the kid who never got any girls, but he couldn't help it. Noelle was so pretty...

It wasn't all bad though, Jasper had fallen headfirst into a compromise with Piper, some boy she liked and Mr and Mrs Hart. Something about the teens supervising the kids on a double date, meaning what was originally a sweet, romantic meal for two, was now going to be an awkward chow time for four. Every cloud has a silver lining. 

"There'll be other girls." (y/n) told Henry in an attempt to comfort him, but all the boy wanted to do was sit in a slump and mope. 

"Not like her." He mumbled and focused on messing about with a clackers toy he'd found lying about. He barely knew the girl, but rejection is a hard pill to swallow and it left the poor kid with a hole in his heart. It had been so long since his last date that the idea of having one in his grasp was exhilarating, but then having it so cruelly torn away was agony.

"Hey...what you doin'?" Ray asked as he came over with an iced frappuccino and sat down next to his girl so he could interrupt their little moment. He was terrible at giving any emotional support, but it pained him to see his usually plucky sidekick so down.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Henry grumbled grumpily and stared at his hands as both adults looked at him. This would pass, he'd realise that there were plenty more fish in the sea and if Noelle fancied Jasper then he would be happy for them, but he needed a bit of time first.

"He's putting because Noelle wanted to go out with the J-train and not the H-bomb," Charlotte revealed from her seat at the supercomputer, not giving a shit if it hurt Henry's stung pride. It sounded ridiculous out loud, but Henry was still bitter.

"I said, I don't wanna talk about it, so let's not talk about it, all right? Gahhh..." He replied in a flat tone, wishing they'd all just leave him alone to mope. Well, (y/n) could stay, she was the nicest out of the three and would soon figure out a strategy for getting him to perk up. The boy stood up from the ledge where they had been sitting and stomped across the room moodily and Ray saw that he'd have to handle this delicately.

"Okay...okay. So, where'd Jasper take her for dinner?" Ray smirked, deciding to just rip the bandaid off and get to the juicy information, even though Henry's wounds were still unhealed. Delicate? Yeah, right, like he knew what that meant.

"Oh, I don't know." Henry rolled his eyes and marched off angrily, showing that underneath all that mature, superhero stuff, he was still a teenager and prone to emotional outbursts. 

"Ray!...give me that!" (y/n) hissed to her boyfriend, not liking how he ignored Henry's sadness and just poured more salt into his wounds. Seeing no other fit punishment, she swiped his cold drink and claimed for herself by taking a long slurp from the straw. The brain-freeze made her eyelids flutter, but it was worth it when he snuggled up to her to win back her affection and his frappucino, 

"Oh, I think it's some new restaurant called, The Basement," Charlotte answered, momentarily looking up from her PearPad so she could answer Ray's question.

"The Basement?" The man said, trying to act as though he had never heard of it even though it was coincidentally the precise place he'd chosen for his and (y/n)'s little dinner date. It looked classy but cool and he just wanted to give his girl a night off, where they could just be alone and spend some time together,

"Where's that?" Henry asked and he had genuinely not heard of it. He wasn't in the habit of checking up on every restaurant that opened in the city, especially when his crush was being wooed there.

"Noelle found it. She said it's supposed to have amazing seafood." Charlotte shrugged, making (y/n)'s eyes light up. Now that sounded like her kind of place.

"Oooh, can we go there? Please?" She turned to her boyfriend excitedly, making him chuckle at how excited she got. If only she knew that he was one step ahead of her and dying to see her grin when he revealed his secret.

"Maybe, sweet girl." He mumbled and bent down to kiss her sweetly before she could ask anything else. She accepted it hungrily and didn't notice how he was coyly playing hard to get just so the surprise would last until the very last minute.

"Wow, amazing seafood, I sure hope Jasper doesn't choke on a shrimp." Henry pouted even more at the young woman's enthusiasm and the fact that she was happily in a relationship like him and it made him grumpily flop down on the couch. Stupid girls, they always left him lonely.

"Now, come on, Hen. You know you don't mean that." (y/n) told the boy, who deep down, knew was right. Jasper was his bud and he'd hate for anything to happen to him, shrimp-related or not. It was just his anger speaking.

"Hey, you know what'll cheer up a teenage pouty-pants?" Ray smiled and leaned on the back of the couch so he could glance over Henry's shoulder. Here came Captain Counsellor and all his divine wisdom for a frowny boy.

"What?" Henry grumbled, not feeling like doing anything apart from sitting glumly or finding solace under his bedsheets and it wasn't like Ray could offer that or anything helpful at all.

"Cleanin' the boss's bathroom." Ray smiled, making (y/n) fo a double-take. He had a way with children and his lack of an ability to read the room was astounding to her. Also, why the bathroom? She could swear it was clean.

"I don't think that---" Henry tried to tell him to fuck off in a polite way, but no. matter how hard he tried, Ray needed someone to scrub his toilet and he couldn't bear to watch Henry sit around doing nothing any longer.

"I'm serious," Ray told him and pulled a blue toilet brush from his back pocket. How he had been hiding it was anyone's guess and Henry told him where to go by accepting the brush and then promptly throwing it to the far side of the room. Yeah, like he was cleaning the floors all day.

"Would you prefer this pink one?" The boss smiled and held out a second toilet brush. He'd had a feeling that Henry would say no and dispose of the other one, so he grabbed a spare just in case.

"Ray, I cleaned the bathroom yesterday. How can it be dirty already?" (y/n) asked her boyfriend, seizing the brush from his hands and dumping it on the couch. Seriously, what had he been doing in there? She wanted an answer, but she'd have to wait to get one because right on cue, the emergency alarm started to ring.

"Uh-oh," Charlotte said and began to tap away on the computer keyboard to figure out what was going on.

"What's up?" Ray asked, snapping into action and dashing over to look at the monitor with (y/n) behind him. Henry chose to remain on the couch, it was nicer there anyway.

"Emergency. Looks like...it's a video from Swellview Police." Charlotte answered and pulled up the clip for the superheroes to watch.

"Captain Man, Miss Danger, Kid Danger, listen. We just found a kid lying in this alley and his teeth are all gone. But, uh my partner and I need to go 'cause we gotta go take our wives to see that new show, Mamma Mia? So, we're gonna leave the kid with no teeth here, lying in the alley. Bye!" Ray frowned at (y/n) and (y/n) frowned at Ray, how could those bozos leave that kid alone in an alley?

"What? That's it?" The young woman facepalmed but accepted that they were going to have to go out. Someone needed to help and as Swellview's greatest crime fighters, it fell to them.

"Mamma Mia! Why do the Swellview cops always dump everything on me, (y/n) and Henry? That's not fair!" Ray whined in frustration, wishing that just once, the police would be responsible and do their jobs. 

"Oh, let's just go. At least it's something to do." Henry sighed and moodily got to his feet so he could chew a gumball and transform. Well, this was going to be a fun night if his mood was this crappy.

"Fine, whatever. Charlotte, if you get bored here, there's a toilet up in my bathroom that could really use a good scrubbing—" Ray smiled at the young girl charmingly, hoping that someone would clean up his mess whilst they were out, but Charlotte wasn't about to do that. She picked up her trusty blaster and disintegrated the pink toilet brush out of Ray's palm.

"Look, doofus. Christ knows what you've done in there, but I'll clean it up when we get back." (y/n) told her pouty boyfriend, who was suddenly missing the brush that was now particles in the air. He didn't want her to clean up though, he was hoping that if this toothless kid thing wrapped up quickly, they'd still have time to make their reservations. Being a superhero was tough, especially when it made getting dinner so tough.

~In the alley~

"Hey! Hey, over here!" Henry yelled to Ray and (y/n) as they searched the back alley that the police had left. It would've been nice to know where to look, but as usual, the cops had scarpered before the superheroes could ask for any finer details. No matter, the couple had ice cream cones to keep them occupied and with Henry's sharp eye, it didn't take long for them to come across some poor kid laying facedown on the concrete.

"You wake him up." Ray nudged (y/n), who looked at him mid-lick of her ice cream with wide eyes. He was the boss, why couldn't help wake up the kid?

"Wha—? Why me?" She mumbled, trying not to let her ice cream drip as she analysed the boy. He could be a mad strangler or something, she didn't want to piss him off.

"Because you're beautiful, kind and good with children." Ray smiled at her sweetly and she blushed at his words. He really knew how to butter her up and she cupped her cheeks to press a kiss to his lips for being so cute, but...

"Oh my god, just wake him up." Henry groaned, not impressed with how even in a dirty, trash-filled alley, they were still able to be all kissy and cuddly. Seriously, they had a job to do and they could be gross later.

"All right, all right, geez...Hey, 'scuse me, kid. Wake up. Come on, it's time to wake up..." She knelt in front of the boy and gently shook his shoulder, causing his bloodshot eyes to snap open and his hands to instinctively grasp at her throat. He must have thought he was under attack again and squeezed hard as his fear clouded his vision.

"Okay, okay. Take it easy, please. I can't breathe." The woman gasped and felt for Ray's knee as she struggled for air. For such a scrawny kid, this guy had a strong grip. Seeing that she needed help, Ray used skilled fingers and a little bit of muscle to prise the boy's fingers away from his girlfriend's throat and reassured him that they were here to take any more of his teeth.

"Hey, hey, it's all right. Can you get on your feet? There you go..." Henry and Ray each grabbed one of the boy's hands and pulled him up, making him blink as the shapes of Captain Man and Kid Danger became clearer. Miss Danger stumbled onto her feet too, mourning the loss of her ice cream that was now on the ground. Oh well, at least she could breathe now.

"I'm Captain Man," Ray told the kid in his superhero voice, making Henry roll his eyes. Everyone in the city knew who he was, why did he do that every time?

"You don't have to introduce yourself." The sidekick lectured his boss, who ignored his tetchy attitude. Just because he was in a bad mood didn't mean he had to rub it off onto everyone else.

"What's your name?" (y/n) asked the boy calmly, ignoring her bickering boyfriend and fellow sidekick. This boy looked traumatised and when he tried to reply, all he could say was a garbled noise. 

"Son, what happened to you?" Ray questioned him further, thinking that the kid just had a weird name, although anyone who names their child "Mowhaleshma" is evil. Again, the boy tried to explain his situation, but all he could do was a gurgle and wildly wave his hands around like a madman.

"Ahhh...okay, we're not gonna be able to understand this freak." Ray put his arm around Henry and the two turned their backs on the boy so they could think of a plan. Giving the confused kid a small smile, (y/n) trotted over to them no plucked the ice cream cone from Ray's hand, intent on stealing his iced dessert for the second time that day.

"He's not a freak, he just can't talk with no teeth. They're really important for being able to speak properly." The young woman told her boyfriend and ran her tongue over the strawberry goodness of his ice cream. He frowned as she ate was should've been his, but he didn't care. Yeah, he loved ice cream, but he loved her more and seeing her so happy was even better than having it to himself.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, sweet girl." Ray sighed and just as he was thinking about what to do, two elderly men came shuffling down the alley. Hmmm, old people...they might have some teeth they could borrow. It would be beyond gross, but if it worked, who cares?

"Be right back." the large man told his sidekicks, who looked at him puzzled when he placed a soft kiss to (y/n)'s cheek and then walked off, intent on nabbing some grandpa teeth for their new friend.

"Gentlemen! Just a second, fellas...I notice you're both old, so...do either of you by any chance have false teeth?" Ray asked them with a pleasant smile, only for his friendly greeting to fall flat when the old men sighed grumpily. 

"What? What I'd say?" Captain Man looked between the glowering grandpas, who weren't best pleased with him making them as old, toothless codgers, who were societal rejects. He would be old one day too, not that he liked the notion, and they thought he should've been more respectful to Swellview's senior citizens.

"Thinking that all old people have false teeth is a stereotype, okay? And we don't like stereotypes." One of the grouchy old men snapped, making Ray cringe. Geez, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

"Okay, but...do either of you wear false teeth?" The superhero asked tentatively, hoping not to aggravate them even more. He just really needed some and then they could help the gummy-looking boy.

"Yes, we both do." The old man sighed, feeling annoyed that the irritating stereotype was proven to be true in the case of him and his friend. 

"I see. Well, on my authority as Captain Man, I need to borrow your false teeth." Ray commanded the men, who surprising volunteered to give them up quite easily. Not quite the struggle Ray was expecting but at least it made (y/n) weak in the knees when she heard his powerful voice.

"Thanks." The large man grimaced when a pair of slimy, warm dentures were placed into his outstretched palm and he was so grateful at the wore gloves. God, false teeth are so gross.

"Okay, son. Open your mouth and I'll try to get these in...Don't fight it." Ray stalked towards the terrified boy and started to force the grandpa's teeth into his mouth. The kid was gagging at the thought of sharing some old dude's teeth, but Captain Man was so much stronger, so he just had to take it.

"On behalf of Captain Man, may I apologise for...all of this." (y/n) chuckled nervously as the boy finally let the teeth slide over his sore gums and Ray relented.

"All right, try to tell us your name." The superhero told the kid and after getting used to the acrid taste in his mouth, he began to timidly speak.

"I'm--I'm Sebastian." He replied, everything making sense now. So that's what he was trying to say, Sebastian.

"Ohhhhh, Sebastian!" Henry realised and nodded along with Ray, both of them thinking that boy had been saying Samantha or some shit. Dummies.

"So what happened?" Henry moved on to the next question swiftly when he remembered that there was a dazed and confused child in front of him.

"Well, uh, I met this girl...and she asked me out to dinner, but then she took me to this place called...The Basement." Sebastian recalled, making Ray's heart stop when the restaurant's name was mentioned. Screw Jasper being there, he was more worried about where he could take (y/n) for dinner.

"The Basement? Wait, wait, that's where Noelle took...took you-know-who to dinner!" Henry gasped and looked at the worried couple urgently. Oh god, suddenly his gut was giving a very different feeling about Noelle and it wasn't a good one.

"Voldemort?" (y/n) giggled nervously, trying to make herself feel better with a little humour, but it didn't work. 

"Noelle! That was the girl's name!" Sebastian exclaimed, making their worst fears come true. Looks like behind that pretty face, Noelle was a bitch after all. Go figure.

"Look, kid, do you remember anything or anyone from this um...basement place?" (y/n) asked, grabbing Seb's elbows so he'd look into her eyes and see how she needed this information stat. Jasper had booked himself, Piper and Piper's crush into a madhouse by the sounds of it.

"No...Wait, yeah! There was a man, she called him...Drill Finger!" Sebastian took a moment to remember the evil name, but when he did, the revelation made the superheroes gasp.

"Drill Finger!" Ray grabbed hold of Henry's costume tightly and curled a protective arm around (y/n)'s waist. Of course, that crazed dentist would be behind this had his fingerprints and drill holes all over it.

"Oh my god." Henry paled and noticed how tightly his boss was clinging to his girlfriend suddenly. He wouldn't let her go, would he? Sure, there was no stopping her, but he hated to put her in danger and with Drill Finger involved, there was going to be peril. Lots and lots of peril.

~

Well, The Basement was disgusting. Not as disgusting as the alley, but pretty gross. It was dark and smelly, the perfect place for a villain to have his heinous setup, but not really this place to have a classy restaurant. How anyone dined here blew (y/n)'s mind.

"This place is so creepy." She shuddered and stuck close to her boyfriend's side as they crept through the creaking hallways. It sounded like the party was going on in the basement (well, duh, that's what it was called), so that's where they were headed. All they needed to do was avoid the elderlies stalking the place out.

"Yeah, who would ever come here?" Henry wrinkled his nose at the smell of damp in the air and the fading, outdated wallpaper. It looked like his grandma's house in a horror movie, not like the fine-dining experience Jasper had described, but hey, maybe that was his idea of a good night out.

"I know right, only idiots would." Ray laughed dryly in an attempt to cover up the fact that he was an idiot and he had tried to take his girlfriend to this shithole. Thank God he didn't, otherwise, they would've ended up like Sebastian, or escorting a load of criminals to the county jail, one of the two.

"Right..." (y/n) looked at him with suspicion and wondered why he was acting shifty all of a sudden. The colour was draining from his face and she was certain that if she removed one of his gloves, she'd find his palms to be sweaty. Highly suspect, indeed.

"I mean, I would never book a table for two here this evening, I'd have to be mad, right?" The superhero rambled, letting the truth out before it ate him up from the inside out. He had tried his best and had failed, but seeing that made (y/n) smile all the same.

"Wait, you made a reservation here? For us?" She asked in a shocked yet mirthful voice as her eyes lit up at the thought of going out with him. They'd had dinner before when they were still completely clueless as to each other's feelings and on little runs to the ice cream parlour down the street, but that didn't count. A nice, calm sit-down meal with the pair of them dressed to the nines, now that sounded like heaven, as long as it wasn't in the Addams Family's house.

"Well, yeah, but now we can't go 'cause Drill Finger runs this place. And I'm too fond of your smile to let him have it." He couldn't help the lovesick comment at the end. It made Henry gag and tiptoe faster, but (y/n)? Well, she was smitten, through and through; the effort was good enough and even though a date would be nice, just knowing that he cared was enough.

"You're so cute, doofus. I love you." The young woman grinned at him and threw her arms around his shoulders, making the couple stop for a moment just before they descended the dark stairs to the basement. Henry looked over his shoulder to see Ray tilting his forehead against (y/n)'s and decided to just wait for them at the bottom. He definitely didn't want to see them making out, he'd had enough of love for one day.

"I love you too, sweet girl." Ray smiled against his girl's lips as they met for a gentle kiss, both of them not caring about their location or whether or not time was on their side. Just one kiss, that's all they wanted. The superhero tilted his head to the side and gently bit her lip to get her to part even further, which allowed him to explore the depths of her honey taste. The whimper she released was greedily swallowed by him and he tried to push her against the wall, but a delicate hand on his chest pushed him back.

"Want you." He mumbled against her lips and (y/n) breathily giggled when he tried to follow her lips as she pulled away. So needy, he was adorable.

"We have a job to do." She told him and placed one, final peck against his lips before leaving his embrace completely and jogging down the steps. Ray was left by himself to stroppily stamp his foot in frustration throw his head back so he could curse the god that forced such torture onto him. Still, he knew his girl was right and stomped after her, catching up to both his sidekicks as they approached a door.

"What took you two so long?" Henry questioned them, but he immediately regretted it. He did not want to know the gross details of what they did in their free time and was more than happy to just get to fighting the bad guys.

"Ray's hot, not my fault." (y/n) shrugged, laughing when Henry nearly doubled over in nausea. Gross, gross, gross! He was a teenage boy, not the kind of person who wanted to be on the receiving end of a young woman and her desires for her boyfriend.

"All right, all right, just kick the door down." Ray rolled his eyes at the teen's overreaction and decided that a suitable punishment was making him be the one to go busting shit down.

"Why me?" Henry gawped. He didn't have super strength, why did he have to be the one exerting himself? Sure, his best friend was in some serious danger on the other side of the door by the sounds of the screams, it was getting pretty intense in there, but come on!

"Because you're the one mouthing off. Just kick it in, it's not that hard." (y/n) encouraged him and stepped back so the sidekick would have room to swing his leg back. The screams were getting louder and more terrified and when combined with the whirring of a drill (no guess as to who that was), the three panicked even more.

"Hurry up!" (y/n) hissed and Henry saw that there was no time to lose. Pulling his leg back, he jammed his steel-toe boot into the wood, but shockingly, the door stayed intact. The same couldn't be said for Henry's big toe though, which was probably bruised or broken.

"Owwww! The door didn't even break!" He wailed, grabbing his aching foot with both hands so he could tenderly nurse it. Honestly, never work with children or animals and if you want something done, do it yourself.

"Then here, let me help you." Ray pushed Henry to the side, making the boy tumble into the mildew-stained wall as his lone foot lost balance. Looking up and down at the barrier in front of him, Ray's experienced eyes found the weak point he was looking for and he moved to strike.

"Wait, what are you do--" Too late. All that pent-up frustration in the man was released as he seized Henry and used his body as a battering ram so he could break through the door. Well, Henry was useful in a way, just not the way he was expecting.

"Holy shit..." (y/n) breathed out and dashed through the splintered hole so she could lean over the railing and see if Henry was okay. Ray followed behind her but was less concerned about the groaning boy on the floor below them. He'd be fine, hopefully.

"It's Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger!" Noelle cried in fear, but Piper was smiling instead. Her entire body was flooded with relief at the sight of the heroes, unlike the criminals, who were bricking it. One more minute and Drill Finger would've had their teeth lined up for some pensioners to claim for falsies.

"You threw me through the door!" Henry whinged at Ray, getting back to. his feet once the soreness had melted away. His toe was still painful but he could ignore that.

"Well, the past is the past." Ray shrugged and took a slurp of some soda that he had found lying around. Christ knows why he wanted to drink, but there was no time for questions, just well-planned quips and fighting.

"All right, Drill Finger." Ray turned to the villain and tossed the soda in the trash. God, he looked so hot when he was playing the hero and it made (y/n) whimper internally.

"What?" Drill Finger hissed, returning the glare under his mask, even though no one could see it. 

"I'm taking you downtown!" Ray growled and began to stalk towards his enemy, who was just as ready for a fight. He needed those damn teeth and he wasn't about to let Captain Man get in his way.

"No chance!" Drill Finger yelled and when Ray tried to grab the evil dentist's collar, he flipped the superhero's arm under his and made him lean back helplessly.

"Feel the finger!" Drill Finger yelled and Henry looked to (y/n) for help as his boss screamed at the sight of the drill spinning towards his chest. However, contrary to how Henry thought she would look, (y/n) wasn't worried, in fact, she was calmly checking her manicure. She knew Ray would be fine.

"What the--? It was turning before..." Ray's screams stopped when he remember one very important fact; he was Captain Man and Captain Man is indestructible. The drill caught in the sturdy material of his tunic and the criminal felt his stomach drop when the weapon jammed up and went kaput.

"You broke my drill finger!" The man snapped, clutching his iconic weapon with his other hand. Well, that sucked for him, but none of the heroes could bring themselves to care.

"Dude, he's indestructible, what did you expect?" (y/n) shrugged, glancing up from her nails when she realised that her boyfriend was still undrilled. Some villains were so dumb.

"Kid, toss me that thing!" Captain Man ordered his sidekick dramatically, but Henry wasn't picking up on his urgency or his need to look cool. Why couldn't he just reach over and grab it himself?

"Uh, okay, but it's right here--" Henry rolled his eyes and slowly grabbed the thing Ray was pointing at. It was a pair of scissors and the man knew just what to do with them.

"All right, Drill Finger, I'm no rabbi, but..." Ray quipped and held his enemy's hand firmly under his arm. Taking the scissors, he snipped the drill bit in half, leaving the dentist useless and harmless. With no drill on his finger, he didn't even have a name. Maybe weirdo dentist would suit him better now.

"Mazel tov." Ray released Drill FInger, who dropped to his knees from the loss of his greatest weapon. Damn Captain Man, he always knew how to hurt criminals where it stung the most.

"Yeah, from now on, you're just Finger." Henry mocked the man, who hated being in the position he was. How was he supposed to extract the teeth of children now?

"That's not as good!" Drill Finger whined, but Ray ignored him. Right now, he had three terrified kids to help and a load of elderlies to deal with.

"Kid, Miss Danger, you release those three, round up those elderlies and that evil teenage girl." The sidekicks got to work, (y/n) going to untie Jasper, Piper and her date, whilst Henry made a beeline for Noelle. Sure, she was evil, but she was still so pretty and you can't blame a guy for trying one last time.

"Stay right there and don't move," Henry ordered her, making her frown at the command. She wasn't going to do as she was told, she hated authority. 

"What if I have an itch?" She asked defiantly, testing. Henry's patience. Okay, yeah, he didn't fancy her anymore. Noelle had a bad attitude.

"You let it itch, you let it itch!" He hissed and left her to sulk so he could help (y/n) untie his sister and friend. She was working on the knots securing Piper to the dental chair, so he decided to help her date before Jasper. He could wait a little longer.

"Hey, can you untie me?" He asked Henry as he walked past, hoping that their friendship would help him get free first. His wrists were really cramping up.

"Why you?" Piper asked him in an offended tone, not seeing why her boyfriend had to be the one to suffer longer.

"Because I need my lip balm! My lips are getting drier by the minute!" Jasper exclaimed, making (y/n) giggle behind him. He had nearly lost his teeth and was still in the middle of an evil secret hideout, but that was what he was worried about? He had weird priorities.

"Here, kid, use my lip balm. It's strawberry paradise flavoured." (y/n) momentarily stopped untying her knot to pass Jasper her favourite, and Ray's, favourite lip balm. She always wore it for everyday use and it made her honeyed lips taste even sweeter.

"But I'll get your germs!" The curly-haired boy protested, not liking the idea of sharing even if it was a kind offer. Plus, he was a boy, he didn't want to have that pearlescent shine on his lips.

"Yeah, you're welcome." She smiled at him sarcastically, but whilst she had been busily bantering with him, she nor Henry had seen the senior citizens conspiring behind their backs. These young whippersnappers, they'd ruined their chances at strong, healthy teeth again and they were gonna pay. 

"And you are free--ow!" As (y/n) undid her hands, Henry untied Piper's feet, meaning neither of them saw two old people coming up behind their backs and whacking them with their zimmer frames. The two sidekicks fell to the floor from the blow and seeing that they were down, that's when the elderlies struck.

"Attack them!" An old woman cried and they swarmed. A whirl of beige pants, walking sticks and creaking bones descended onto Henry and (y/n), who suddenly found themselves amid a fight. It wasn't all bad though, yeah the smell was bad, but old people aren't exactly good fighters.

"Back off, granny!" (y/n) snapped and she and the boy next to her leapt to their feet so they could push the elderly crowd back. Henry thought old people were supposed to be nice, but obviously not.

"Stamp on his feet!" A frail voice cried out and an old man crushed his walking frame into Henry's toes, which were still hurting from kicking the door. Not wanting his feet to suffer anymore, Henry seized the frame and used it too. shove the elderly backwards and into the ledge. Piper cheered the kid on as he made the man's forehead collide with the railing. and when more old guys tried to beat Henry down with their walking sticks, (y/n) was there to back him up.

When a stick came down to hit him again, she jumped in ad stopped it with a strong grip, ripping it from the old man so she could whack him back and block the next blow. She beat the second man away from her and then grabbed his elbow so she could shove him into another oncoming elderly. The men fell on the floor in a groaning heap and it was about this time that Noelle started to get antsy. She needed an escape route and quick.

"Okay, ladies and gents, stop moving! Hitting old people sucks!" (y/n) shouted, but the bitterness ran too deep and the elderlies who still had some strength left carried on with their attack. Henry picked up two bundles of stuff from the ground and swung them into several attackers, watching them fall like dominoes as their delicate skin easily bruised. It wasn't nice to do, but it was necessary, but they were mad.

"Kid Danger, look out!" Piper yelled when she saw a particularly sneaky man creep up to Henry and the boy dodged just in time before he could be skewered by a walking stick. Thank god for his hyper-motility, otherwise, that would have been a crappy death.

Avoiding every punch from the elderly man, Henry ducked to grab his ankle and pulled him off balance so his pelvis crunched on the floor. The sound made (y/n) cringe, but there was no time to feel bad because another pensioner was trying to kill her. A quick roundhouse kick to the face took him out, but then, a feisty old hag began to beat her with her handbag. It wasn't a particularly vicious attack, but her adrenaline was running high and she wasn't going to take any crap from her, so the young woman harshly shoved her into a wall.

That was that, or so she thought; (y/n) was ready to move on to the next fight, but her heart broke when the little old lady began to sob against the wall. Seeing an old person cry because of her made her kind nature droop with guilt and she rushed to see if she could do anything.

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you that hard, are you okay?" Her fierce fighting aggression was gone instantly as she cooed at the woman, but it was all a lie. As soon as she was crouched in front of her, the devious pensioner slapped (y/n) harshly across the face and then kneed her in the stomach. 

"Stupid millennial!" The granny hissed as the girl collapsed on the floor, but the pain faded sooner than she expected. No one beats Miss Danger like that and gets away with it.

"I'm not a millennial, I was born in 1987!" (y/n) corrected her and happily tipped the woman onto a conveyor belt so she could press the button and send her off to god knows where. It was a brilliant move...until the other elderlies sought revenge for their fallen comrade. They fought back with more violence and fury, making the sidekicks struggle as they each faced three or four foes at once.

"Kid Danger! Miss Danger! Noelle's getting away!" Piper suddenly cried out as she spied the girl making her getaway amongst the chaos. She was an opportunist and with the heroes currently outnumbered, she was free to slope off.

"Oh, we're kinda busy!" Kid Danger gasped as a granny and grandpa pinned him to the conveyor belt tried to send him down like (y/n) had done to their friend moments earlier. Speaking of (y/n), she was having problems of her own, mainly that one guy had his cane pulled tightly across her windpipe, whilst two of his associates tried to bend her wrists in all kinds of unnatural ways.

"Why don't you deal with her?" The young woman choked, struggling to move with a limited air supply. Not wanting to see the bitch that did this to her escape, Piper picked up an orange purse from the ground and charged at Noelle with it wide-open. The blonde teen paled as the furious child tackled her and pulled the bag over her eyes so she could jump on her back. 

"You ruined my date!" Piper screamed as only Piper could and thumped his fists against Noelle's skull as the girls struggled across the floor. Ray burst back into the room after locking up Drill Finger and his eyes widened as he witnessed the brawl occurring. His sidekicks were having their asses kicked and Piper was taking matters into her own hands. Geez, he was only gone for a few minutes...

"All right, all right...that's not your job!" He told the young girl as he peeled her off of Noelle. He appreciated her help, but he didn't want to see Henry's sister get hurt because she thought she could save the day.

"She tried to escape!" Piper hissed at him and glared at Noelle, who had only just removed the purse from her head.

"Thank you, now go wait outside." Ray scolded her, trying to not be intimidated by the child and her temper. He was the superhero here, not this romper-wearing little girl.

"I wanna go wait outside!" Piper yelled and stomped off to see if her date was still hanging around. He probably wasn't, the poor kid had run off terrified and after this, he would never want to speak to her again. Oops.

"And you, stay there." Ray snapped at Noelle and shoved her towards a dental chair where she could wait patiently for her ride to jail. With the teen criminal under control, Ray could focus on helping his sidekicks, who were still struggling to fight back against the elderlies. (y/n) was breathing again, but now she was being whacked with two walking sticks and Henry wasn't doing any better.

"All right, that's enough! Leave them alone, come on! Let's go!" Ray's imposing frame spooked the elderlies into scuttling off obediently and the sidekicks could breathe a sigh of relief as the fight was over. 

"Come on, move your heinies! Keep moving!" (y/n) herded them to the door with Ray by her side and Henry made sure that Noelle wasn't left behind. They could deal with the old people and he could deal with the girl. And Jasper, no one could forget Jasper, who was still trying to moisturise his lips with (y/n)'s lip balm.

"You know, Captain Man, you're real hot when you're ordering people about." (y/n) whispered into Ray's ear as they guided their captives to the awaiting cop cars outside. Now that the real work was over, the police had finally shown their faces and were ready to slap the cuffs on two dozen pensioners.

"Oh yeah? Is that why you keep staring at me like that, little girl?" He smirked down at her and revelled in her blushing cheeks. That would be a yes to that question. Ray caught her wrist to stop her from walking and tugged her into his chest.

"Maybe..." She whispered shyly and quivered under his gaze as his eyes raked over her features until they landed on her lips. His hand was caressing her jaw so he could tilt her into him just as he liked, but...

"Wait, Ray..." She suddenly gasped and jerked in his hold as the penny dropped. Normally, there would be the noise of retching and complaining at this point, but there was nothing but the sound of the old floorboards beneath their feet. 

"Sweet girl, I just want to kiss you, what's wrong?" Ray whined against her lips, wishing that for once, they could go interrupted with no one spoiling the moment.

"Where's Henry?" Her eyes flickered to his and she saw the realisation grow in them. He was one sidekick down and the last time they'd seen he was alone with...

"Noelle!" They gasped together and dashed back down the corridor and the stairway so they could stop Henry from making a massive mistake.

~

"Well, maybe you could...change me, y'know. Teach me to be a better person?" The couple heard a sweet, sultry voice from inside the lair and knew that the young, attractive girl was trying to charm her way out of trouble. It was a particularly cruel move, flirting with him in front of Jasper, even if she didn't know that under his regalia, Kid Danger was actually Henry Hart.

"Oh, man. Uhhhhh--" Peeking through the doorway, Ray and (y/n) could see Noelle with her arms around their friend's shoulders and that he was seconds away from giving in to her seduction. 

"Kid? Are you letting that girl trick you into kissing her?" Henry jumped at the sound of his boss's voice and whipped around to see Ray glaring at Noelle and (y/n) struggling to keep in her giggles. Kid Danger had one weakness: cute girls.

"What? No, ew, gross! I don't wanna kiss her! Gross!" Henry gagged, but his actions spoke more than his words. The couple rolled their eyes as he tried to fool them by removing Noelle's arms, only to wrap them back around him immediately after. 

"Do we look stupid?" (y/n) asked him with a raised eyebrow and the boy sent her a pleading look. She got to kiss her boyfriend whenever she wanted to, why couldn't he smooch Noelle just a bit?

"Uhhh, can you just wait outside for like, twenty minutes?" Henry asked tentatively, hoping he could push his luck just a little bit. One kiss, just one.

"Kid!" Ray growled, his tone leaving no room for argument. He smirked as his girlfriend tensed up beside him and Henry instantly did as he was told. Noelle was pretty, but she was also a criminal and Henry had to remember that.

"Okay, fine. You're going to jail, let's go. Come on! No kisses for you, tryin' to trick me. Wearing a romper..." The teen ranted as he gave into his moral compass and marched Noelle out of the room, her hands twisted behind her back. Stupid girls and their good looks.

"There's a police car waiting for her outside." (y/n) told the boy as he moodily brushed past her and Ray. It was a shame that the girl he liked turned out to be an evil, wannabe villain, but oh, well. He'd find someone else and in the meantime, Ray was finally alone with his girl.

"Please, let me kiss you." He mumbled into her ear and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind so she'd feel his warmth surrounding her and his breath on her neck. It was working, she wanted to give in and let him take her home, she really did, but, there was one more thing.

"What about Jasper?" She breathed out and Ray released a growl of frustration when he remembered that his favourite assistant was still tied to his chair. That kid always ruined his plans to get some and it really pissed him off.

"I'll come back later." Ray offered and tried to sweeten his deal by kissing up her exposed shoulder. Jasper would be fine for a few hours here, sure, it was dark and damp, but he'd survive. Probably.

"No, you're going to go untie him and I'll be waiting in the Man Van, Captain." She smirked and felt his arms tighten around her waist. He didn't want to leave her, not when she was looking so lovely in her super suit and willing to let him feel her up, but he had no choice. She wouldn't leave without Jasper and if she stayed here then so would he. 

"Stupid Jasper." He mumbled and reluctantly let go of her hips so he could go do as he was told. He brought her hand to his lips so he could give her a parting kiss and watched as she left up the stairs with nothing more than a giggle. He was certain that the sway of her hips was deliberate and he cursed the boy he was about to untie. The smile on his lips was so infuriating and Ray prayed that his patience would last, after all, he had a sweet reward waiting for him.

[pepsiiwho]

Oh, you KNOW I was made for the hate wins ask game. Could I get uhhhhhhhhhhhh 1, 5, 6, 7 & 16, please? <3 I would ask you more, but I feel like that's excessive, and I need to get to work now. Okay, love u, bye, see you when I get home <333

sigh. Don't touch me.

I don't have a single fandom I'm known for or particularly attached to right now, so ill just jump around as i feel.

THE CHARACTER EVERYONE GETS WRONG

I am self appointed idiot who makes every character i get my grubby little hands on ooc. Because of this, I can't say for sure that any characterization I see of my faves is objectively WRONG because my own ideal version of them is surely not right. Now, having been an adult and saying all this I can say with the utmost confidence this award must go to Claude Von Riegan [FE3H] just by virtue of how he's probably one of the more popular characters i adore and as such gets the brunt of the bullshit.

I hate when people write him as this flirty, overly charming guy. Claude cannot flirt his way out of a clear bag and he is paranoid as shit. He isn't seducing your white prince and dragging him down to the dark (ha) side. He also doesn't strike me as someone who's deeply curious about other house's gossip because he actually cares. Claude stays in the know because not knowing is a blind-spot he can't allow himself to have. Screams. its whatever.

5. WORST DISCORD SERVER AND WHY

Worst discord I was ever in ... hard toss up between the ye-olden HQ discord servers or the one dmcl one I was in? Surprisingly, as far as I experienced it, both had very nice people in it on the whole. But the sad truth is too many cooks in the kitchen fucks up the simple soup-- which is to say, having so many other fans with different [WRONG] interpretations was annoying.

I can't deal with not having complete control or like, a general understanding with the people around me in fandom discussions so these servers were just, by their own nature, places I was never meant to be in. [Spits] What do you mean CLAUDE would wanna join the BL class. Go to hell.

6. WHICH SHIP FANS ARE THE MOST ANNOYING? WHY?

Short answer? sylvix. Long answer? Regardless of the fandom, the fans of the biggest most accepted ship [canon or otherwise] will always be the loudest and most annoying imo.

When you've never had to work for your food you get comfortable fast and complain more. Its a natural byproduct of being lucky enough to deeply enjoy the lowest common denominator. In most cases, regardless of fandom-- whatever reigns supreme brings the biggest headaches with it. But If this is still too general then... mmm.. people who ship objectively canon ships because their imaginations can be too small and they'll find rare-pairs odd, weird or even stupid to be into. Many a time I've had someone tell me "they've never even spoken tho.." as if that was a needed component of every ship. They're tiresome people with tiresome arguments. But it's whatever <- she is the most annoying bitch alive.

7. WHICH CHARACTER DID FANON RUIN FOR YOU?

This one is really interesting honestly. I'm usually pretty ambivalent about anyone that isn't in the blorbo pile or the poison pit.... but.... maybe Dedue or Ferdinand? Dedue because f3h fans racism and Ferdinand because he was always someone shipped with Hubert and little else. I think its sad, both ,men have so much going for them too. I'll put Tsukishima on this list as well because he was my number one and ruined by fandom. Actually no put like 90% of the HQ cast here actually hq Fandom sucks ass and ruins every cool guy. it's a bitch.

16. YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE THIS THING

God. I'm such a hater.,... this could really go on forever... Okay, I swat at the hornets nest for this one. fics over 100k. 9 times out of ten, they're not good. Quantity/=/ Quality. Usually most of the word count is just used for shit you didn't even come to the story for. That's fine, I respect any writer who can even make that much of ANYTHING, but people who can read it (and more so ACTIVELY search for it) are odd to me.

I've been worrying on this for a few days and mellowed out since I started so nothing is tooo grating or bitchy here. Look guys I'm kind and sweet forever. Enjoy. Huzzah.

[azz4me]

*shakes you aggresively again*

QUEEN LISTEN!! This new imagination that I've got has gotten me in CHOKEHOLD I SWEAR-

Goo. I personally think he's someone who shows his different sides according to the person he's around, most people see his maniacal self cause he doesn't deem them as people he could show his un-overexaggerated side to

Now imagine goo, with a whinier and very talkative partner.

My mind is exploding with thoughts

How he would pinch his nose and sigh when you are being demanding. Or try out whine you but oh fuck you are so damn whiny-

How he'd try to pull the move of *kiss to shut you up* but after the make out you immediately go back to talking like, "so I was saying.." And he groans but listens anyways.

How at times he'd look at you and think "is this how everyone perceives me??" and now he feels a bit more only a little though sympathy for gun.

Even better if your only whiny WITH HIM.

Like everyone else be like "oooh y/n is such a sweetheart! Y/n's so reliable" And all the while goo's back hurt cause you demanded to be princess carried the whole day

The possibilities are endless

~🍞

I am not gonna lie. I feel blue balled.

YE YES YESSS YESSSS!!!! I FUCKING LOVE WHINY MEN!!! I LOVE IT WHEN THEY WHINE!!! MODRE SO WHEN IT'S GOO!! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING DEADLY OF A COMBO IT WOULD BE WITH A WHINE TONE AND PUPPY EYE GOO!! DO YOU!!????!?!? GAD DAMN!! I LOVE MY BABY BOYYY!!!

BUT- non whiny kim Joongoo. *shaking* NON WHINY KIMJOONGOO. uhh basically kim joongoo not making cute faces yk. Like he is just breathing and 'normally' sitting. No crappy smile, no nothing, him just sitting class and fucking breathinmglwjhvbwsliugbfvhyvwkuyfvusvyivoy. 🧍‍♀️. AHHHHIUZGDIUAGVKUGJVYGVUYFGYFDVUYVADGUY🦅🦅🦅🦅👹 EYAAAGHIyOgwdvaifcaefiyfgvuouofqegguoguo👹👹👹👹👹👹 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE👹👹👹👹👹👹iggcsvd he would look so HAWTTTTTTT SDKSKKSKSKS😝 EHEHEHEHEH

YES. GOO WITH A WHINY S/O DEALING WITH THEIR BULLSHITS IS FUCKING ADORABLE TOO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT EXACTLY HAS ME ON A CHOKE HOLD?!?!?!?!?

GOO!!💥 WITH!!💥 A!! 💥WHINY!!💥 S/O!!💥 BUT!!!!!💥💥💥 HE!!💥💥💥 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY IT KUAGVBUIVADGVADUIOBUBCABCAUOCVUOC AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Listen LISTENNNNN Goo just sitting with a little smile, not smirk, SMILE.. ON. HIS. FACE. sitting together as he listens to his S/O whining about how their day went. Am I being delusional? no, but am I a giggling mess rn? YES. AHHHHHUAGIEUAKCGUCAEBUC👹👹👹 STOP ME. SOMEONE@!!!HBkaucvvkci. I have tears on my eyes just thinking abt it. Life is not daijobu without goo😞😞😞 I need my Goo oppar ljgblavgsldgvunlvsn GIGGLE👹👹👹

YES. KISS TO SHUT YOU UP. I EAT THAT SHIT UP EVERYTIME. BUT I ALSO LIKE TO IMAGINE GOO JUST KISSING YOU ON YOUR HANDS OR ON YOUR FACE AS YOU JUST CONTINUE TO TALK. i am not feeling fine. wgyifguofeuogfeguofwguofuhfguoefoufwguof4ogui3fgiou

[gay-victorian-astronomer]

4! 16! 20! 39! :D

4. What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?

The most formal I need to get on a regular basis is academic conference attire, so like... business casual level of formality. My usual conference outfit is black chinos, a button up shirt whose print can only be described as space arcade carpet, and a black blazer with a pronoun pin on the lapel.

For more formal occasions, I don't actually own anything that works at the moment— in the past I would wear some type of long gown for those but subsequent Gender Realizations have made that intractable. I very badly want to get a proper suit, but I am having trouble finding an option that will have the details of men's suiting I want while still fitting nicely on my body while also not being super fucking expensive. My impending graduation might give me some motivation to figure something out though...

16. Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?

Strangely I haven't been on a big hoodie kick lately— I've gone through pretty much this whole winter without really touching any of them, I've been blanket-burrito-moding instead. So I guess I'll talk about my favorite sweatshirt at the moment/one of the hoodies that's been with me the longest?

My favorite sweatshirt at the moment is one I got back in October as a free giveaway for seniors at my university. It doesn't have a hood and it's pretty plain except for a large applique of the university athletics logo on the front. I like it because I accidentally sized up more than I should have so it's pretty big and snuggly on me.

One of the hoodies that I've had the longest is a purple one from when I went to Washington, DC on a school trip in 8th grade. Most of my hoodies were purchased while traveling— for a while I had to wear a back brace for scoliosis and the brace would put holes in the backs of regular T-shirts, so whenever we'd travel I'd get hoodies as souvenirs because the thicker fabric would hold up better. That hoodie did in fact hold up— it was my favorite hoodie for most of high school because it was surprisingly thick and good quality for being an impulse purchase from a street vendor, and it was made out of pretty pill-resistant fabric, not to mention the fact that it's my favorite color.

20. What kind of math are you best at?

Going purely by my academic record, I'm generally pretty good at anything that doesn't require me to do proofs.

In terms of math I like doing, I think most parts of multivariable/vector calculus are pretty neat, and they are pretty strongly tied to physics. In a similar vein, doing boundary value problem stuff & solving partial differential equations is pretty nice as long as the problem isn't set up to be annoying as fuck (looking at you, applied boundary value problems homework sets)

Dishonorable mention goes to integrals. I am learning through taking quantum theory that I have very limited patience for dealing with integral bullshit (and there are some truly deeply bullshit integrals that have been thrown at me in that class). Evil little bastards that make my brain hurt >:(

39. What was the best part of your day today?

Not much immediately jumps out at me— I've been sick for the past couple days but I felt well enough to go to class today so it was a pretty normal Wednesday all things considered. My housemate ordered food for delivery at lunchtime and they gave me a spring roll they got as a freebie that they couldn't eat, so that was tasty. I'm debating whether to order delivery for dinner in which case that will also be a tasty treat (but we shall see).

[she-waves-at-cats]

Ok, I really want to talk about it. I have thoughts that will rot my brain if i don't get them out.

I had a meltdown in karate class. (My entry for the "most autistic sentence ever uttered" contest if someone wants to organise one.)

It was my first experience of public overwhelm since my autistic realisation, so I can now see these events from a new perspective.

The how and the why: Intense day of mostly-positive experiences that included a phonecall (omg) with a job recruiter who was extremely nice to me. Also I forgot to eat lunch. By the time the evening class rolled around, I was in a good mood overall, but my brain had had enough I guess, so it started "shrinking". It was hard to coordinate movements, which stressed me out, so it was hard to recall movement sequences, which stressed me out, then we did an exercise with a partner and I was self-conscious, so I just froze... And then the teacher took notice, so he took time to individually drill me in basics, which was what pushed me over the edge. I know the basics, I'm so good at this stuff actually. I have more theoretical knowledge than any other student in that room, and he knows that, but seeing me fail once made him forget about all that. I cried. He lectured me, publically.

Here's something he thought was appropriate to say: "You're not supposed to be crying, you're supposed to enjoy the class."

Isn't this the most controlling, gaslighting bullshit an authority figure can say? You're not experiencing appropriate emotions, so I will now remind you what emotions you're supposed to experience. And I used to swallow things like that, hook, line and sinker. I used to grab myself by my own nonexistent bootstraps and beat myself into expressing emotions others can comprehend. That's what masking is, not a happy acting exercise, it's violence that you are convinced you have to exert on yourself.

But my real conclusion is that while up to a point, I could've prevented this event if I had read my own clues better (positive stress is still stress, and I was not careful managing my resources because I thought happiness was giving me more resources), OTHER PEOPLE MADE IT WORSE.

The teacher could've just let me do the exercises badly for one day. He could've just given me corrections like normal, without worrying I was not immediately improving. Without making it a whole thing where he pairs me up with another student specifically to watch me and correct me. And it's not like I didn't say "remembering things is hard for me today". He just didn't get that it means "leave me alone today, tomorrow I will remember things again". He did extra work with me that was completely useless.

And when I took my bag and left, the other female student followed me, wanting to know what happened, not taking "just a stressful day" for an explanation, kept asking if I was definitely ok, disparaged the men in the class for not knowing how to take care of a female friend, and then offered me a ride home. I let her drive me - I'd wanted to be her friend and was actually frustrated that she always came late to class and left immediately after, so we never had a chance to connect before. But man, was it hard to think of things to say in that car, when my mind was the size of a pea and my memory behind 3 vault doors.

It took a whole night of processing and then a whole day of being quiet and treating myself gently until I felt like myself again. If people had just left me alone, there would've been nothing special to process and recover from. I would've had a mediocre class, then taken a long walk home and remembered I was basically happy.

Showing that I struggled wasn't WRONG, exactly, but the problem is that if I show struggle, or god forbid a tear, people react in ways that make it impossible for me to calm down. And the worst thing is that none of the people in this story are neurotypical - we're adult karate nerds after all - but neurotypical methods of dealing with emotions are so ingrained in us, we think we will let a friend down if we don't pester them for more emotional work when they are already at their emotional limit.

I used to think that to get the support I want, I needed to communicate better. That day, I communicated. I was so articulate for someone who can barely think and talk. But people did not accept my true words at face value.

What we need is more education about autism before there's acceptance of alternative ways of experiencing stress and processing emotions. We are only taught neurotypical communication, to the point where we hurt each other.

[theduchessofnaxos]

Warning: extremely bitchy rant. But my feelings are hurt and I want to be a jerk about it.

So there's this trans girl in my class (trans is relevant I swear) who's been very eager to make friends and whatnot because she's joining the program. And I was raised to make friends with people Because It's The Nice Thing To Do, which means I get physically uncomfortable rejecting friendship even if the person irritates me. Which she does, because she's VERY high energy and also really focused on the "we're both trans!" thing, while I am very low energy and honestly would rather limit discussion of my transness to "oh yeah i have an appointment" and similar, because it bores me.

All of which is to say, I agreed to join a Discord channel she set up with the other trans people she knows (because she wants to collect the transes like Pokemon) and hoo boy was this a mistake. I knew it was a mistake, but told myself to quit being antisocial and misanthropic, it's good to have community and shit. I should have listened to my gut and turned down the annoying chick.

I've looked at it twice and I've already seen a comment about "muscular women > muscular cis guys" (why specify cis? Are trans men women to these people???) And today, when I posted about developing acne and how I'm excited because it means the T is working, the response from the only other transmasc was "oh, my skin got clearer on T" which prompted someone else to respond with "that means it's biologically right for you!" So, guess T isn't right for the guy who just reported his excitement over acne then? Great, thanks, I can really see why people seek community.

I don't want to be the guy who "doesn't like the community" because those guys suck. But Jesus Christ, if this is the trans community around here I'm significantly better off with the cis people who are just happy for me instead of saying weird shit.

I can and will be ignoring the Discord, but I've no idea how I'm going to handle the classmate. She'll get weird about it if I'm too distant (she repeatedly apologized for accepting a ride home from someone else, after I repeatedly said it was fine because... obviously.) But I don't want to hang out with her at all because all this weird obnoxious shit I'm suddenly dealing with stems from her. (She was also the culprit in the really fucking annoying episode of "you're totally more masculine after two days on T, which is something you should be excited to hear because obviously someone like you can't possibly feel confident in his masculinity already!")

Ugh. I blame my preschool teacher mother and her "be a leader by befriending people!" bullshit. I'm sure it makes me a better person and whatnot, but trying to be a good person currently has me subjecting myself to a "friendship" that's putting me in invalidating and hurtful situations and I think I probably deserve better than that.