#i think i need a new tag for original text posts
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Ok, I really want to talk about it. I have thoughts that will rot my brain if i don't get them out.
I had a meltdown in karate class. (My entry for the "most autistic sentence ever uttered" contest if someone wants to organise one.)
It was my first experience of public overwhelm since my autistic realisation, so I can now see these events from a new perspective.
The how and the why: Intense day of mostly-positive experiences that included a phonecall (omg) with a job recruiter who was extremely nice to me. Also I forgot to eat lunch. By the time the evening class rolled around, I was in a good mood overall, but my brain had had enough I guess, so it started "shrinking". It was hard to coordinate movements, which stressed me out, so it was hard to recall movement sequences, which stressed me out, then we did an exercise with a partner and I was self-conscious, so I just froze... And then the teacher took notice, so he took time to individually drill me in basics, which was what pushed me over the edge. I know the basics, I'm so good at this stuff actually. I have more theoretical knowledge than any other student in that room, and he knows that, but seeing me fail once made him forget about all that. I cried. He lectured me, publically.
Here's something he thought was appropriate to say: "You're not supposed to be crying, you're supposed to enjoy the class."
Isn't this the most controlling, gaslighting bullshit an authority figure can say? You're not experiencing appropriate emotions, so I will now remind you what emotions you're supposed to experience. And I used to swallow things like that, hook, line and sinker. I used to grab myself by my own nonexistent bootstraps and beat myself into expressing emotions others can comprehend. That's what masking is, not a happy acting exercise, it's violence that you are convinced you have to exert on yourself.
But my real conclusion is that while up to a point, I could've prevented this event if I had read my own clues better (positive stress is still stress, and I was not careful managing my resources because I thought happiness was giving me more resources), OTHER PEOPLE MADE IT WORSE.
The teacher could've just let me do the exercises badly for one day. He could've just given me corrections like normal, without worrying I was not immediately improving. Without making it a whole thing where he pairs me up with another student specifically to watch me and correct me. And it's not like I didn't say "remembering things is hard for me today". He just didn't get that it means "leave me alone today, tomorrow I will remember things again". He did extra work with me that was completely useless.
And when I took my bag and left, the other female student followed me, wanting to know what happened, not taking "just a stressful day" for an explanation, kept asking if I was definitely ok, disparaged the men in the class for not knowing how to take care of a female friend, and then offered me a ride home. I let her drive me - I'd wanted to be her friend and was actually frustrated that she always came late to class and left immediately after, so we never had a chance to connect before. But man, was it hard to think of things to say in that car, when my mind was the size of a pea and my memory behind 3 vault doors.
It took a whole night of processing and then a whole day of being quiet and treating myself gently until I felt like myself again. If people had just left me alone, there would've been nothing special to process and recover from. I would've had a mediocre class, then taken a long walk home and remembered I was basically happy.
Showing that I struggled wasn't WRONG, exactly, but the problem is that if I show struggle, or god forbid a tear, people react in ways that make it impossible for me to calm down. And the worst thing is that none of the people in this story are neurotypical - we're adult karate nerds after all - but neurotypical methods of dealing with emotions are so ingrained in us, we think we will let a friend down if we don't pester them for more emotional work when they are already at their emotional limit.
I used to think that to get the support I want, I needed to communicate better. That day, I communicated. I was so articulate for someone who can barely think and talk. But people did not accept my true words at face value.
What we need is more education about autism before there's acceptance of alternative ways of experiencing stress and processing emotions. We are only taught neurotypical communication, to the point where we hurt each other.
#autism#actuallyautistic#autistic adult#autistic problems#autistic solutions#meltdown#i think i need a new tag for original text posts#lynn's words#that's my name
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Due to SGCBarberian's TCD series most likely coming back it's made me semi-ill over it again.
So I'm gonna share an au concept that's on and off plaguing me. [That I think is post-inspired however I think my brain made the post up since I can't find it-]
The concept started as Redstoner Ross & Doctor Ross being the same person.
And then that gave me the idea of Doctor Ross having panic attacks every now and again bc of (what he calls) "a traumatizing hallucinational episode and or hyper realistic coma"
He'd hate whenever one came up bc in his head that's vulnerability he can't have due in the moment and almost certainly hates how he is at times because of how he is.
How could they be the same person? You may ask
Well, I somewhat have an answer. I wrote the au concept a couple days ago & just started re-thinking about it since I'm ill over both redstoner & doctor Ross.
However the current concept is some sort of cruel experimentation of sorts [maybe- idk I'm still thinking about how they could be the same place- Dr. Ross himself doesn't even fully know if it was a real experience or not so there's that-]
#Camera Face Rambles#tcd#sgcbarberian#the crafting dead sgcbarbierian#yourpalross#redstoner#redstoner ross#THE RED SUN NEVER SETS#doctor ross#original concept was also connected to NSP Fallout since I love making crossovers between it and SGC TCD bc of the similarities#but the concept doesn't have to connect to it-#[which is why I'm not tagging this as NSP related in any way-]#[this post is about ROSS! None of this 'Cory'-related stuff /Ih]#I have a panic attack idea for this where he stumbles across what can only be described as a 'mad man's room'#which is covered wall to wall in redston text reading 'THE RED SUN NEVER SETS'#and then Ross just starts messing up his new makeshift lab bc he's trying not to think about that deserted wasteland#I really need to write this-#I need to do a lot of things-#also sidenote for the new tcd a part of me really wants max to show back up- I know he probably won't but I emotionally want him to#I love that silly mf too much sometimes-
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so there's a Stop Making Sense cover album coming out in honor of the movie's 40th anniversary, and i listened to the preview tracks that are out, and the best thing about it so far, for me, is that its reminded me that Girlfriend is Better is a really fucking good song
#i think girl in red's cover is fun but whenever i listen to it i have to listen to the original afterwards and be like DAMN!!!#i don't really like that she jumps into the chorus and 'stop making sense' parts early- kind of messes with the build up of the song for me#the original track is so killer. a song of all time#nothing is better than that!!!#i need a text post tag#i love MUSIC!!!! AAAAAAA (as a casual listener... i don't know like. any fucking music theory or terminology)#the thing about most of the tracks out for the cover album so far#is that they're like. not really very transformative?? they're very straightforward#so hayley williams is obviously having fun and doing a fine job singing burning down the house#but also its like. this isn't bringing anything new to the table for me... very listenable though. burning down the house!!!!#meanwhile in the little preview she's done; miley cyrus is sure putting a spin on psycho killer. but i don't like it#very excited for the full album to drop because i want to hear what kevin abstract does with once in a lifetime#and i love the national but i'm kinda like. can they do anything interesting with Heaven? i hope so! but i'm kinda expecting to be let down#like they'll just cover it straight and it'll be like. yep that sure is the national covering heaven by talking heads#im hoping they'll add something fun with drums... it'd dramatically change the vibe of the song but like. i like the national's drums#at the end of the day i think part of the problem is that talking heads are a tough act to follow
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is there like a style name for the really thin-lined kind of wronkly-lookin' art style i've been seeing around lately (mostly from artists in their late teens/early 20s)?
it tends toward the realistic w/ facial proportions but simplifies the eyes and mouth down to sometimes just basic shapes. lots of extra age lines under the eyes and around the mouth but gets more simplified and gestural as you radiate out from the face. hands and fingers are usually blocky. if there is color it's usually washed out and non-representational. two questions 1) does anyone know what tf im talking about? and 2) where is this style coming from like what is influencing this sudden boom?
#i don't want to post examples because i don't want anyone to feel called out or sth but it's just really been stuck in my craw lately lol#the last 8 months i noticed a huge uptick and now it's all I'm seeing around#like it's fine i think it's a nice style i just noticed a few people doing it and now im seeing it EVERYWHERE#also what i mean by where is it coming from like i mean how we had calarts boom after Steven Universe and Grabbity Balls started taking off#and before that we had the anime-influenced mediocre chibi style from anime and web original animations and homestuck#that kinda thing#i need a new text post tag i guess
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What's up heckers, I'm in my Voltron: Legendary Defender era, and that comes with me being a Klance shipper, so if you don't want to see that stuff on your dash, block the tag now haha
(I don't actually have anything regarding it queued right now because I'm lazy, but it'll get queued eventually, so this is just your fair warning)
#lizzu original#text post#I'm blasting through the series and I am obsessed with Keith#like#dang move over Inuyasha#new blorbo new hubby#I love him so much#and yes I am indeed just filling out these tags so that this doesn't show up in the vld tag#thank you for noticing#I just don't want any fans getting mad at me for thinking that two series of lines on paper would be cute together if they were dating#I need to remind you all that they are cartoons and not real people#okay#hopefully that's enough tags??#idk#please voltron fans be nice to me if this does wind up in the tags somehow#I have seen enough “what ended the VLD fandom? SHIPPING!” videos to fear for my life#oops had to delete the tags because it showed up in the voltron tags anyway. YAY Love that for me#when I WANT things to show up in tags tumblr's like “no lol”#but when I'm like “Hey can we keep this low key” it's like “What if we didn't”
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Mine
Logan Howlett/Wolverine x female!reader
Tags/Warnings: Smut, Fluff and Smut, Rough Sex, Dom/sub, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Logan (X-Men), Feral Behavior, Rut Sex, mention of frank castle, Explicit Sexual Content, Breeding, Impregnation, Marking, Blow Jobs, Logan has a big cock, and hes very hairy yes, Reader-Insert Authors note: originally posted this on my ao3, but decided to just upload the full one-shot here as well. link. Not beta'ed and no description of reader Summary: Logan unexpectedly goes into rut and you're there to help him through it.
You had no idea what you were anticipating when Logan came home from work. Before he left in the morning, he was acting stranger than normal. His temper was short, his motions were labored, and he wasn’t himself. His scent was also stronger than normal. It didn’t take you long to realize something was wrong, the bond felt stronger between you two like it was during the war and before you even began to make lunch, you received a text from your Logan.
Logan: I don’t want you to be alarmed, but I think I’m in rut.
This caught you by surprise. Most alphas these days didn’t get ruts and omegas didn’t get heats either. Just like they’re becoming rarer as time goes by. it’s sad really, back before the war, before Hydra - you were able to go into heat. You always spent it alone back in the 30s, you even got time off from your part-time job as a nurse when you were temporarily staying in Ireland. Logan could go into ruts too before Project X. during the war you both would help each other out, which led to you both bonding until the train mission fucked all of that up.
But now it’s 2021, over 70 years have gone by and 3 years since The Snap. You are forever thankful that both you and Logan survived it. You don’t know what you would have done if your beloved alpha was taken away from you once again. Since then you both decided to get a nice cabin in the mountains to get away from everything. You both were done fighting, tired of constantly losing people you loved.
Logan got a job in construction in town about an hour away. So he didn’t usually come home until around 6 pm. You were thankful when you got the news that Frank Castle and his pack of alphas were moving a few miles away from your cabin a few months ago. You know it can get isolated in this area, so to have friends that you consider family to come and visit was nice.
There was no time to think about the next course of action though, it was clear what you had to do and something you thought you wouldn’t ever do again. Logan would be back in about half an hour, which gave you time to set up the room and go for a nice shower.
You immediately went into one of the cupboards in your walk-in wardrobe for blankets. Logan didn’t necessarily like making nests, he always said and his quote: “ya’ don’t need to make those things no more lady, you use your alpha.” in his deep gruff tone. So you resorted to cuddling at least 2 times a day instead and he would fuck you into the mattress just how like it every time.
Once you got a mattress onto the floor with a ton of blankets and pillows littered onto it, you went into the bathroom and stripped down. You cleaned up and once you were done, you slipped on a white silky nightie that reached down to your thighs. After that you got some nice cold water bottles to put beside the nest. As you were done you heard the door click open.
Logan could smell you before he even got out of his truck. His heightened senses were even more sensitive and he could smell just how wet you already were. All he could think about was knot, breed, mate- over and over as he got closer to the door.
It was rather embarrassing when he started to sweat and get a hard-on on his lunch break. He didn’t understand at first, but then recognized the symptoms to be a rut. Thankfully Frank was there to get him to leave, but damn did that hurt his ego a little.
Once he entered he was hit again with your strong scent. It was so sweet, sweeter than usual that he was beginning to think that maybe his rut could trigger your heat. He sure hoped so. Your scent was a mixture of roses and strawberries, he used to hate strawberries before he met you, but now it’s one of his favourite fruits.
You looked up from your iPad as Logan walked in and put down his backpack. “Hey,” you said as you got up, but were cut off by a squeak when he immediately jumped you. He picked you up by your thighs, making his way to your bedroom, his lips never leaving your neck. He nipped and sucked little bruises into your soft flesh. He put you down gently onto the mattress and started groping your breasts.
“Fuck, I’ve been thinkin’ about this all day, Darlin’”. Logan growls as he starts kissing down the valley between your breasts. He pulled back and slipped off your nightie, revealing your breasts and wet cunt. You blushed and looked away, but your alpha immediately notices. “Hey, no looking away from your alpha now,” Logan says as he grips your jaw to look back at him.
“Sorry, Alpha” you shyly say. Logan only grunts back in reply as he stares down at you. You grip at his clothes, “off, please” you whine at him. Logan immediately starts to strip down, you stare at his glorious beefy body as he takes off his pleated shirt and jeans. Your eyes traveled the trail of hair down to his already hard cock. You lick your lips wanting to taste so badly.
Logan notices as smirks, he leans back down to press his lips against yours, just as a whimper escapes through your lips, giving you a smoldering kiss which leaves you breathless within seconds, distracting you as he continues to run his hand up and down the curves of your body, getting closer to your sensitive parts.
You are gasping for breath when he pulls away, and in your complete haze, you watch him as he slowly climbs down your body, his lips never leaving your skin as he trails his hot kisses on you all the way down. He parts your legs further so he could get more comfortable between them, then when he presses a kiss at your nether lips, his fingers parting your folds so he could find your slick entrance and give a long, hungry lick right at where your desire is centered until you cry out. “Taste so fucking sweet ‘mega”. Logan growls as he licks your clit. You hear him moan and you open your eyes to look down at him, to see that his eyes are closed, totally blissed out as he sucks on your cunt, licking your entrance. You feel the hard tips of Logan’s fingers right at your opening, you moan when you feel two fingers parting your hot pussy, your walls instantly begin spasming around them, sucking them inside your depth.
“So hot, baby,” Logan growls, his warm breath falling on your sensitive folds as he whispers between the kisses he is giving you right at your heated core. “I’ve wanted to taste you since I could smell your sweet scent before I even got outta my car.”
You can’t think straight, you’re totally blissed out and your mind is filled with alphalphabreedmatealphabreed constantly, you reckon he has triggered your heat, but you don’t even realize and neither does he. His cock is stiff and swollen, you notice the center of his length has a bulge, showing that his knot is starting to form. Your cheeks begin to heat up realizing that you’re doing this to your alpha.
You go deeper and deeper into submission, surrendering yourself to your alpha, letting him know he can use you however he wants. Logan feels everything you feel, your bond is so strong that it’s overwhelming for the both of you.
He continues to tease you with his fingers for a few more seconds and then the warm rasp of his tongue sends a series of shivers trembling through your body. He licks across your sensitive bud leisurely, biding his time with his eyes on you to take in every single reaction you are giving him through every lick, every swirl of his tongue. He has never seen anything so beautiful. He flicks his tongue from around your clit, down to your slit, moving back and forth as he continues to plunge his fingers into you. You begin to shake as you are nearing the edge.
He must have felt it, because he continues to lick at your cunt, slick pouring out as he slurps it all up, growls deeply against your pussy. “Come for me, little mate.”
You let out a whimper at his command but feel helpless to resist him. You can’t hold it in anymore as you come to your release. “Alpha!”. You moan out as you arch your back, Logan continues to milk through your orgasm and makes sure to gather every drop of cum.
Once you come down from your high, Logan pulls back and climbs up the bed kneeling right beside your head. Keeping one hand at your chin, he raises your head up as he uses the other hand to pump his cock, aiming the crown tip on your swollen lips. “Go and put your pretty mouth to use, Darlin’,” Logan says. A drop of pre-cum leaks from the slit, making you drool at the taste, while the heady scent of his cock fills your senses as you breathe him in.
You eagerly nod, barely catching a breath from your strong orgasm, he slips his cock through your open mouth, wanting to satisfy your alpha.
Groaning, Logan reaches down and squeezes your nipple as he thrust in and out of your mouth with almost the same force he would use if he is deep inside your pussy.
“Love these tits of yours baby, love to see them jiggle when I fuck your tight cunt” Logan continues to grope your tits as he dirty talks. He thrusts into your mouth hard and you moan at his words, cheeks reddened at how dirty he’s making you feel.
You suck the entire length of him each time, loving the feel of the head of his cock at the back of your throat. Using his other hand, Logan grabs onto your hair, keeping you steady as he plunges deeper inside your mouth, pummelling deep into your throat each time he reaches to the brim.
His heavy balls filled with seed, slaps against your chin, loving the sensation and feeling dirty all at the same time. You dig your nails into his thigh with one hand and into the sheets with the other, holding on tightly as your lover uses your mouth for his pleasure. “So fucking good, baby. Always taking my fat cock so well. Look at you choking on it” Logan rambles as he thrusts into your mouth. He groans as you suck hard. You continue to choke as his knot is forming.
Logan’s cock falls out of your mouth with a pop. The spasms of your climax remain. You close your eyes trying to catch your breath. You feel movement and blankets being moved on the mattress. After a few minutes, you feel a hand caress your cheek, tucking your hair behind your ears. You open your eyes to see Logan, his pupils are dilated to the point you only almost only see black. “You okay, Honey?” Logan asked. He leans down to press soft kisses to your cheeks and down to your neck. You hum as you lean into his touch, “Want you now Lo”. you said, “please knot me, need it so bad”.
You’re a whimpering mess now, grinding your clit against Logan’s muscular thigh. Logan growls as he pulls back, he grabs a hold of your hips, flipping you over so that you're laying with your chest pushed flush against the mattress, legs bent, and the knees with your ass and pussy on full display. Your smell consumes him; all that he can think about is the taste of your arousal on his lips and how badly he needs to be inside you now.
His long fingers trace your slit as arousal floods from your entrance, coating your slick on his fingertips. Anticipation pangs at your chest as you wait for his next move. Everything in him wants to drive his hardened cock into you and knot you full of his seed.
Logan’s eyes screwed shut as he brings a finger up to his mouth, basking in the taste of you. A wanton moan erupts from his lips at the taste – so perfectly sweet he would never be able to get enough.
Dire thoughts rush through your mind as you rest on your elbows, face turned to the side to try and see Logan out of your peripheral vision. His pupils are completely blown, eyes focused only on your center as his chest heaves in anticipation. “Please Alpha, breed me, I’m ready,” you say to him.
Logan is always less talkative during sex and now that he’s in his rut and possibly gone feral, his mind is screaming to him to knot and breed your tight cunt, to the point he can’t form words.
His hand is quick to line himself up with your entrance, grasping onto your hips with such pressure that it is sure to leave bruises tomorrow, even with your fast healing. Sharp fingernails dig into your skin as his tip meets your entrance. It’s fiery and red, inflamed and veins popping out alongside his length from how hard he is. The precum that leaks from his tip coat your slit, combining with the wetness dripping down your thighs to create a delicious mixture.
One last reassuring squeeze of your side is all he gives before pushing into you ruggedly. A sharp gasp leaves your lips as he makes his way into your core, feeling the familiar sensation you felt back during the war. His size is bigger, so much thicker and longer than his normal length when he is not in rut. It’s a lot to take in at once, and he’s trying his best to let you relax as your body adjusts to his size.
“You can move,” you say, lip caught between your teeth as your walls stretch further around him.
With your fists grasping for the sheets, Logan begins thrusting his hips slowly into you– holding out a second each time he bottoms out to let you breathe. His nails only dig into your sides further, barely giving him a grip onto reality to hold back his animalistic instincts.
Deep grunts leave his mouth as he tries to hold himself back, but he can feel his humanity slipping further and further away with each clench of your pussy. His heavy balls slap against your clit.
“Can’t hold back much longer,” he bares his teeth, “need to breed you now.”
You moan out loud “please, please alpha, need you to fill me up with your pups” you continue to beg him.
Quickly, his hips snap into yours, his thick muscles flexing as he holds your body steady, fucking into you deeply. Breath is sucked out of you as his pace increases; stars forming at the back of your eyelids as you squeeze them shut, mouth salivating at the increasing pleasure bestowing upon you. His length is a lot to get used to again, even though Logan tried to avoid knotting you back then because you both didn’t have enough time, there were times when he would sneak into your sleeping quarters to knot you in the middle of the night, his hand pressed against your mouth to reduce your loud moans as he thrusts his large cock into you; but the everlasting pressure against your g-spot was making the pain melt away.
Logan thrusts in and out of your pussy effortlessly, your slick coating his cock and making it easy for him to slide in and out of your velvety walls. With each thrust, he bottoms out, and it becomes difficult for you to remain upright. Limbs shaking from pleasure, your elbows begin to give way, landing you flat against the mattress.
Your mouth opens, but the only thing able to escape is a silent scream, too immersed in the feeling of him battering your walls and hitting your cervix to make a sound. A loud moan leaves your lips as he pulls you back up, his arms wrapping around your waist to use all his strength to hold you in position. His sweaty hairy chest is pressed flush against your back, the heat radiating off his body soothing you as his mouth meets your ear. A quick nip is placed on your earlobe as he catches it between his teeth.
“Taking me so well.”
He says in his deep voice. The praise quickly soothes your nerves, helping you relax into him as he holds your body close, closer than you had ever felt to him before. His tip is repeatedly hitting against the sensitive spot deep inside of you, you know he’s not ready to let up just yet, but you’re too on edge to hold on.
“Logan I-I’m gonna–”
“I can smell it,” he groans, mouth meeting your bond mark as he sucks harshly on it.
A string of cuss words falls from your lips as your eyes clamp shut, relishing in your release as your pussy spasms around his cock. His movements don’t slow either – his pace is still erratic, plummeting into you at an ungodly rate.
Feeling your release over him only makes him thrust harder, deeper. It sends him into a full-blown frenzy, unable to keep himself from chasing his high. “Smells so sweet, gonna breed you, Baby, have you pumped up with my pups. Gonna look so sexy with your tits filled with milk and your pregnant belly.” he rambles, the more he talks dirty the closer you get to the edge.
And you knew what this meant. You both finally have a chance to have children. Something you have always wanted when you first got together with Logan. Before meeting him, you never had high hopes to find a man and have a child or two. You were insecure and no one wanted a 26-year-old virgin omega. Especially since omegas were looked down upon back then.
But that time is over now, you're with the love of your life 70+ years into the future and everything you have ever wanted is here right now.
“God, do it, Logan, please knot me,” the words slip between cries, still shaking in the aftermath of your orgasm, “Breed me.”
So he does.
His eyes slam shut as his mouth finds the crook of your neck, breaking the flesh as his sharp teeth sink into your skin, reclaiming you once again. Screams blow past your lips as blood begins to trickle from the wound on your shoulder. Your chest tightens in pain, loving and hating the sensation all at once. Relief takes over once his tongue meets the small incisions made on your skin, his saliva filling the holes and alleviating the wounds as he licks up the blood.
“That’s it ‘mega. Doing so good for me. So perfect.”
Your heart flutters at his claim, have never felt as close to him as you do right now. Firecrackers lit through your veins, the connection between you and Logan binding stronger than ever and you couldn’t be happier. It felt like you were floating in thin air. Your body is unable to focus on any pain right now, you’re too blissed out from the shock of him reclaiming you to notice how his cock is beginning to swell inside of you.
Cum shoots out of his member, filling you up to the brim until your abdomen begins to feel heavy and swell. That floating feeling quickly begins to fade as his orgasm keeps coming and coming, no inch of your insides gone untouched by his seed. It seems like it's never going to end, and you can feel the pressure from his release building and building inside of you. Your sensitive walls stretch as his cock expands, your body doing the job it’s supposed to; knotting to plug you up and make sure none of his cum drips out.
“Logan,” you whine, tears spilling from your eyes as his cock continues to inflate inside of you, “Logan it kinda hurts.”
“Shhh It’s almost over, baby,” he comforts you, stroking your hair before guiding you onto your side, laying behind you. After such a rough round, his familiar touch eases your pain. The light kisses he places along your spine let you sink back into him, focusing on the feeling of his soft lips instead of the balloon-sized cock stretching your vagina. Gentle hands trace circles up and down your arms as you listen to the sound of his calming breath. His chest heaves as he tries to come down from the adrenaline rush.
Soft kisses soon turn into small licks running over the length of your back as you lay there, still speared on his cock. Now that his animalistic needs were met, it was all about you.
“What are you doing?” you frown slightly.
“Cleaning you up,” he answers calmly, his even more heightened senses finding nothing strange with this new method of aftercare. You’re too immersed in your thoughts to question him any further; if this is what his alpha side was telling him to do then so be it.
As Logan’s knot begins to subdue he doesn’t let go. His tongue soothes over the spot of his mark, all red, but could see the bond mark more visible than it was before.
“Do you really think this will work?” you ask Logan. You don’t know what you will do with yourself if you aren’t able to get pregnant by this. “It will trust me, Darlin’. And if it doesn’t, we’ll try again and again until it does,” he says as he kisses your shoulder.
“You’re so beautiful, I’m so happy you’re mine after all these years.”
Butterflies flutter in your tummy as a smile stretches across your face. All you want to do right now is to turn around and kiss him, so you do. His face is just as bright as yours when you meet his eyes. His hair is messy and his skin is shining with perspiration, but he looks handsome as ever. He welcomes your kiss like he’s been waiting for it all day. Mouth chasing after your lips, capturing them in a quick kiss before pulling away.
It's the first time he’s seen your eyes since you’ve gotten home, and even then he couldn’t appreciate them as he could now. There's a different glow that he didn’t notice before. Maybe it's because he’s reclaimed you and knotted you after all these years, but he is willing to do anything and everything for you.
“I love you,” you sigh, pressing your palm to his cheek. He looks so innocent now, the blackness in his eyes now faded back to the hazel color you love so much. All the years and pain he’s been through, disappeared.
“And I love that you’re mine.”
#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x reader#logan x reader#logan howlett#wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x female reader#wolverine x fem!reader#wolverine x female reader#xmen#xmen smut#xmen fanfiction#xmen x reader#xmen x fem!reader#xmen x female reader#marvel#mcu#marvel smut#mcu smut#marvel x reader#mcu x reader#marvel x fem!reader#mcu x fem!reader
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Roleplay Is Not Dead Nor Doth It Sleep
There's a post going around about how text-based, freeform roleplay is dead, and I was typing up a huge response to this, with an accompanying guide on how to find roleplayer in 2024, when I realized it might have a bigger reach if I made it its own post. So here's that guide.
I hesitate to say that there isn't a problem with the new format of social media making roleplay more difficult to find, but in the desire to make that point, the OP of the original post has left people with the idea that there's no way for them to get into freeform text roleplay in 2024. Which just isn't true! Here, look at all the ways.
Forums
The link to RPG-Directory to find roleplaying forums is a good start. Once you've found a forum RPG, even if you don't join, there's usually an 'advertising' section on that forum where other forum RPGs post their ads - this may help you to find forums that don't advertise on RPG-D.
Another really good forum to find roleplay on is Barbermonger. Barbermonger is focused on connecting people for one-on-one roleplays.
This last one's going to be weird, but it turns out that there are still people seeking roleplay on the Gaia Online forums after all these years. I think this is delightfully retro and then crowd there seems a little older than average. No pre-existing knowledge of Gaia required.
Tumblr
You can also find forum roleplay groups (as well as tumblr and Discord groups) right here on Tumblr. Usually, the thing to do is to use the search function - search for "[genre] rp" or "[fandom] rp" and sort by "latest." (If you sort by Top, you are likely to find dead RPs.) For example, here's fantasy rp, historical rp, and marvel rp. You can also try jcink rp, as most roleplay forums are hosted on Jcink these days, or discord rp, depending on your favored platform.
There are also tumblr blogs specifically dedicated to advertising roleplays. I'm not super familiar with these nowadays, but just in the process of searching those tags above, I found these:
Jcink Tinder
RPG Adverts
RPings
There are more, I just don't know them off the top of my head.
Reddit
Listen, don't run away, I swear it's good now - I swear Reddit is good now -
Reddit is a good place to find Discord roleplays. It's a little heavier on smut-only roleplays than other platforms mentioned here, but it's not impossible to find sexless, plot-based roleplay here either. Most ads are for one on one RP, but you can find groups mixed in here too. The big subreddits for text-based freeform RP seem to be:
r/DiscordRP
r/RoleplayPartnerSearch
r/roleplaying
r/Roleplay
Some of these have weird rules about what you can put in your ad, and I don't remember which ones, so read carefully and don't get discouraged if your ad is initially removed.
Discord
In 2024, Discord is by far the biggest and most popular platform for roleplay, and it has its own native roleplay advertising hubs. Here are a bunch:
roleplay partner hub
Rockin Roleplay
The Roleplay Garden
roleplay help
the roleplay connection
RP Central
Roleplay Central
Roleplay Hub
Barbermonger also has a Discord server
Roleplay Meets: Reborn
RP Hub
The Scribes Guild
DM Rp Village
cherry blossom! roleplay hub
DM-RP
Roleplay Round Table (21+)
The Historical Syndicate (specifically for historical roleplay)
The Roleplayer's Directory
If you can't find the Discord roleplay you want on here, you can also try Discord hub websites, like Disboard. These work similar to tumblr tags - search for [genre] rp or [fandom] rp.
Other
The original post specifically mentions that 'all the old "omegle but for role play" type websites died out ages ago'. This is mostly true, but not quite! There's still Rolechat. It's a little janky, but what it needs more than anything is a bigger user base. Their Discord server is also a good place to find one on one discord roleplay. It is, of course, free, but if you want to support its development, they have a patreon.
Please reblog this post, and add your own tips on how to find roleplay!
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Text
some loves
pairing: bang chan x female reader
summary: some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.
word count: 6.9k
tags/warnings: reader is an independent singer/songwriter, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of past injuries, a little bit of jealousy, i am still in denial that chan doesn't do lives anymore, hongjoong from ateez is in this fic
read it on ao3 | masterlist
a/n: once again, sorry for the long time between posts. disclaimer that i do not know much about how the music/idol industry works and i did not really do much research. also i'm not an atiny so sorry if my portrayal of hongjoong is not realistic at all. also also i did a lot of the writing on a new tablet doing handwriting with a stylus to text so please forgive any typos or weird formatting! i didn't have a chance to edit much so i may have missed some things.
Chan’s in his studio when he gets the call. At first, he doesn’t even realise his phone is ringing. It’s 2am on a weekday and he’s been working away for a few hours so the rest of the world has just about faded into the background.
He’s both surprised and intrigued when he looks at the caller ID and sees Hongjoong’s name. Chan would consider Hongjoong to be a friend, but they’re not particularly close and he can’t think of a reason that would warrant this late night call.
“Hey hyung,” Hongjoong greets him briefly before getting straight to the point. “What’s your schedule like in the next few months?”
“It’s actually not too bad,” Chan replies after a moment of thought. “We’re just finalising all the music for the next album so it’ll be a bit of time before we get busy with recording and filming for the comeback. What’s up?”
“You don’t have the answer now and I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all, but would you be interested in doing a collab together?”
“A collab?” Chan repeats. “Like, ATEEZ and Stray Kids?”
“We could,” Hongjoong says reluctantly. “But actually, if you’re up for it then I was thinking more like just you and me. I have a couple tracks that we could work off of and I’ve roped in someone to help me with recording, engineering, and production.”
“Who?” Chan asks, interest piqued.
“Not sure if you’ve heard of them, they go by the name HALLA.”
Chan recognises the name instantly. When Chan had first stumbled upon HALLA one late night scrolling and listening to different independent artists, they seemed relatively unknown. However, a little research revealed that they had KOMCA credits on a number of songs for idol groups, some of which had become widely popular. Their personal work was a variety of genres and a majority of the tracks didn’t have vocals, but the ones that did had clever or thoughtful lyrics. There were a couple of different voices featured in the original songs, both of which were smooth and melodic. HALLA has a style that Chan thinks would complement Stray Kids and he’s considered reaching out to them a few times, but was always held back by something.
There was little about HALLA posted on the internet and while Chan definitely appreciates their privacy, he’s curious to meet the person behind all the songs that he enjoyed. There’s just something familiar about all their music that he can’t quite place, something that he wants more of.
“I’m in,” Chan agrees.
“You can take some time to think about it, talk to JYPE to see what their thoughts are too.”
“No need, I’m interested and I know I can convince management to support this.”
“Well that was easy,” Hongjoong says and Chan can basically hear him grinning through the phone. “And for my own pride, I’m going to pretend that you said yes the second I suggested the collab instead of when I mentioned HALLA-ssi.” Chan instantly flushes and is glad that Hongjoong can’t see him over the phone.
“It wasn’t-” Chan begins to protest.
“It’s okay,” Hongjoong interrupts. “I’m also pretty thrilled to get to work with them, so I understand. Didn’t realise you were familiar with their work, but I guess a hidden gem like them can’t stay hidden for long. I’ll send some files over to you and we can organise a time to work.”
—
Chan finds it easy to work with Hongjoong and they make quick progress on the song, writing lyrics and creating a guide within a couple of weeks. Before he knows it, they’ve scheduled a time for Chan to visit KQ Entertainment to record vocals. Hongjoong knows that Chan is keen to be involved in the production and arrangement of the song too, so they also have a couple sessions booked for that, although Hongjoong teases him relentlessly about just wanting to work with HALLA. The worst part is that Chan can’t even deny it.
Hongjoong meets him at the entrance of KQ Entertainment and quickly takes him through security.
“HALLA-ssi is already in the studio,” Hongjoong explains as they wait for the elevator to arrive. “I was getting input on a track that’s been killing me for the past few days.”
“Did they help?” Chan asks, a little surprised that HALLA is involved in more than just this collaboration. He still hasn't had a chance to connect with them other than quick introductions through text a couple of days ago and he's just as excited to meet them as initially.
“Yeah!” Hongjoong grins, eyes curving into little crescents. “HALLA-ssi is amazing. She only had listen to it a couple times before she came up with suggestions on a few different ways to fix the part that I hated. I left her to finish cleaning the song up and then it’s basically ready for review.”
“How did you start working with HALLA-ssi? I’ve been meaning to try to connect with her.”
“It was actually a friend that suggested working with her. For someone who isn’t signed with a label- which I don’t know how nobody has signed her yet- she’s surprisingly well connected within the industry. I’m sure that KQ would be more than happy to have her work with us, but when I hinted at that, she didn’t seem interested.”
“Really?” Although KQ Entertainment is still one of the smaller companies in the industry, most unsigned artists would still jump at the chance to work there since they have a good reputation, especially due to ATEEZ’s popularity.
“I haven’t poked too much, it’s not really my business. I thought I might as well try. I just know that she’s amazing at her job and I’m grateful that I get to work with her at all.”
They turn the corner to the hallway that leads to the recording studio. The door is ajar and Hongjoong opens it, waving his arm forward to allow Chan to walk through first, before following closely behind.
HALLA’s sitting at the desk and the second Chan sees her face, he stops in his tracks.
“Y/n,” Chan breathes.
You look up, startled, and your eyes connect for a split second before Hongjoong crashes into Chan, sending them both tumbling to the ground.
“Hyung,” Hongjoong complains, unaware of Chan’s inner turmoil. “Why’d you stop?”
Chan lets out an apologetic wheeze from where he’s now trapped under Hongjoong, before resting his forehead against the ground. He needs a second to recover.
It feels like a punch to the gut to see you in front of the recording studio’s computer, fiddling with a track. You look different, but somehow it feels like Chan has been transported right back to his trainee days and all that time that the two of you had spent side by side.
It has been years since Chan last saw you. He had found out that you had left JYPE just months after Stray Kids officially debuted, but all efforts to track you down had been futile. You had changed your number and broken contact with all the other trainees. He had asked around a little bit, but everyone he talked to had been unusually cagey about the subject.
Suddenly, everything makes more sense, especially the little that he knows about HALLA.
As trainees, Chan’s favourite moments had been when you had regaled him with stories of growing up on Jeju Island. The two of you had connected early on through your shared love of the ocean. You had promised him that if he ever went to visit in his free time, you would take him on the best trails up to the Hallasan, the shield volcano, and show him incredible views from the highest point on the island. Occasionally, your parents would send you care packages and the two of you would open them hidden away in one of the vocal practice rooms, the sweet citrus of hallabong exploding in your mouths.
You had always spoken about Jeju Island so fondly, of course you would find a way to indirectly pay homage through the stage name that you chose.
“Oppa,” your voice rings out in the silence of the room. Now, Chan knows why the female voice on some of HALLA’s songs had always seemed hauntingly familiar. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” both Chan and Hongjoong say at the same time, then make eye contact with identical confused expressions.
“Hongjoong-ssi, you didn’t mention that the person you wanted to feature on the track was Channie-oppa,” you say, making it clear who you were addressing your concern to earlier.
“It was supposed to be a surprise!” Hongjoong gets up slowly, dusting off his clothes and scratching at the back of his head, still looking bewildered. “I had no idea that you two knew each other, hyung mentioned he hadn’t worked with you before.”
Chan stays quiet, not sure how much you’re willing to share. Hongjoong must not know about your time with JYPE if he can’t piece together how the two of you could have met.
“Oh- I used to- We trained together back in the day,” you explain sheepishly. “I was with JYPE for a little while and all the trainees knew who Channie-oppa was. That was a long time ago though, I didn’t use the name HALLA back then.”
The five years that you trained at JYPE are more than a little while, but Chan forces himself to bite his tongue at your deliberate understatement. You don’t elaborate further and while it’s obvious that Hongjoong isn’t satisfied with your answer, he’s willing to drop the topic for now. You look relieved when he switches the subject to the song.
The three of you finish recording quickly. It shouldn’t be a surprise, the work so far with Hongjoong has been smooth so adding you to the mix has just made things easier, but Chan knows he’s a perfectionist and it often takes him an almost embarrassing number of takes before he’s satisfied. The only delay comes when Hongjoong decides he wants you to sing some of the backing vocals and resorts to actually getting on his knees and begging. Chan doesn’t go so far, but he can’t help but agree that your voice blends with the song perfectly. Of course, he also just wants to hear you sing.
You relent when Chan quietly voices his agreement and it really shouldn't make Chan feel as smug as it does.
It’s not even early enough for dinner when things are wrapped up. Chan is usually eager to finish a schedule early, but he’s reluctant to leave, taking his time packing up his belongings.
Finally, he doesn’t have a reason to stay any longer so he musters up the courage to ask.
“Do you guys want to go grab some coffee or something to eat?”
You and Hongjoong make eye contact before turning to look at Chan guiltily. His stomach churns for some reason.
“I’m sorry,” you wince. “I actually promised to help Hongjoong-ssi with an ATEEZ song and we need to go over the edits that I made before his meeting with the company later today.”
“Oh,” Chan replies, feeling a little relieved. “Right, no yeah I get it. Hongjoong actually mentioned that earlier, but I forgot. My bad.”
You offer an apologetic smile before turning to the computer, opening up a file.
“I’ll see you guys next time, then,” Chan says, starting to back out of the room.
“Of course! Thank you for your hard work and good job today!” you say brightly. Looking distracted, Hongjoong mumbles an agreement and waves goodbye. Unlike you, he’s not staring at the computer monitor though. Instead, his focus is solely on you. Even from his side profile, Chan can tell that he’s enamoured.
Honestly, Chan can’t really blame him, you look comfortable and confident, swallowed up in an oversized hoodie as you start explaining the alterations that you made to the track. Your voice is calm, but warm and you’re careful to start off by complimenting the work that Hongjoong had done previously.
Chan leaves, resolutely ignoring the twisted feeling that’s back with a vengeance and any thoughts of what the cause might be.
—
Chan can’t sleep. His thoughts are all about you, what you’ve been doing the past few years, what happened to you at JYPE that made you leave, and mostly trying to remember how and why your relationship with him slowly fell apart.
That’s the hardest part. In the darkest time of his life, when Chan had been discouraged and disheartened, you had joined JYPE with a brightness and enthusiasm that gave Chan the motivation to continue being a trainee. He had adored you. He still does.
In those last few months before the survival show had been filmed, Chan’s relationship with you had gone from being everything to nothing. It happened in the blink of an eye, and Chan had never understood what caused you to withdraw so quickly and thoroughly. The two of you had gone from spending almost all of your free time together to you avoiding him at the company, pretending not to hear when he called out your name or tried to get your attention.
The regret of letting you slip away has always eaten away at him, but now more than ever.
Of course, at the time it hadn’t felt so simple. The survival show was Chan’s first serious chance to debut, and not just that, but the weight of having eight other people’s careers depending on his leadership took a toll on all his other relationships. Your absence in his life still hurt, but Chan had lots of practice losing people. He had coped in the way that worked best in the past, throwing himself headlong into producing, training, anything to keep himself from wallowing in his feelings.
Chan doesn’t have any schedules for today, but he still heads to the company. He knows this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with things, but he doesn’t know anything else.
When he arrives, Chan just barely manages to catch a glimpse of a few familiar faces. He calls out before he can think better of it, jogging slightly to catch up. Sana, Momo, and Mina watch curiously as he approaches. He knows that Twice also aren’t in a busy period of the year, so he doesn’t feel guilty delaying them.
“Sorry to bother you all. Sana-noona, I was just wondering if we could chat?”
Sana makes brief eye contact with the rest of the girls before agreeing and waving them to go ahead of her. She follows behind Chan as he leads them into his studio, clearly interested in determining the reason behind this atypical meet up.
“What’s up, Channie?” she asks once the door is closed behind them.
Chan tries to think of the best way to start, not wanting to just outright ask, but not knowing how to subtly steer the conversation into the right direction. Finally, he abandons trying to be casual and just blurts out, “Do you remember Y/n?”
“Of course I do,” Sana says, sounding amused at the sudden mention of you. “You both had reputations for being veteran trainees. I mean, other than Jihyo.”
“I was always surprised that she never debuted,” Chan admits. “I just thought it would happen eventually and I was so shocked to find out that she had left. I didn’t- I don’t understand why she gave up on something she wanted so badly.”
“Give up?” Sana asks, sounding like she’s offended on your behalf. “Why would you say it like that?”
“What do you mean? It was like she was there one day and gone the next, I just assumed that she had enough and quit. Nobody seemed to know anything about it. I never found out why and it’s been kind of killing me.”
“You didn’t hear what happened?”
“What- something happened? To her?” Chan swallows hard, suddenly feeling unwell.
“It- I thought that you of all people would know-”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, but- you never talked to her about it? You knew her better than any of us.”
“Noona, I didn’t know that she was gone until months later. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it to me, I never reached out at first. When I finally did, her number had been changed. What was I supposed to do?”
“I- It’s better if you were to hear it from her. I don’t know the full story and you know how things can be distorted through gossip. And you especially must know how dangerous that can be.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You really have no clue? The two of you were inseparable…”
“Please,” Chan pleads.
“You know how it is in the industry, you were so close, of course there were rumours…”
It suddenly clicks.
“But we were just friends! And the dating ban-”
“Chan, you know nobody actually sticks to those, right?”
“But really, we were never-”
“I believe you,” Sana says, carefully. “But you know that to management that it doesn’t really matter whether or not anything was actually going on. To them it’s all about the optics. A perceived relationship is just as dangerous as an actual one.”
“Management…” Chan repeats, his mind racing. “They never mentioned anything to me though.”
“You never found it suspicious? You two are extremely close and out of the blue she suddenly stops talking to you, then right after the two of you stop hanging out, you’re chosen for the survival show? Someone must have talked to her at some point. Maybe not management, but for sure someone.”
“You think that’s why it took so long for me to debut?” Chan asks, even though he already knows the answer.
“It was a liability,” Sana explains. “To have a dating scandal so early on? Neither of your careers would survive. It’s painful and a terrible part of the industry but it’s true.”
“And.. Why she left, you know about that too?” Chan pleads.
“I think I’ve said too much already. I know that it’s hard, but some things are really personal.” She pauses for a moment. “What brought this on, anyway? You haven’t mentioned Y/nnie in years.”
“I can’t say much, but I- I saw her today, got to talk to her, found out what she’s been up to.” Sana gasps. Chan continues. “It was so weird to see her after so long. In the back of my mind, I had always wondered, but…”
“I’m glad that you two got to reconnect,” Sana says gently. “The two of you cared about each other a lot, that much was obvious. Talk to her, I think at the very least you’ll be able to find peace about what happened.”
“Noona-” Chan reaches out and pulls Sana into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.”
“Of course. I’m sorry that it took so long for you to find out.”
—
A few days later, Hongjoong schedules another session to work on the song. Leading up to it, Chan is both looking forward to it and nervous, not sure what to expect. Although he still really wants to know what happened to you all those years ago, he’s scared about what he might learn and any part he might have had in it.
After a sleepless night, he ends up arriving almost 15 minutes early. This time, Hongjoong isn’t waiting at the building’s entrance. Instead he had let him know a few days before that Chan could just sign himself in and had sent him the name and location of the studio that was booked. When Chan reaches it, he can make out conversation from inside.
“HALLA,” Hongjoong can be heard through the studio doors, which aren’t fully shut. His tone is petulant and much more casual than it was previously. Chan wonders how much time the two of you have spent together between then and now and he almost misses the next thing that Hongjoong says. “You never told me that you were a trainee before.”
That stops Chan in his tracks, interested in how you’ll respond.
“It was a long time ago.” Your voice is faint. You’re still nice, but Chan can tell that your voice is stiffer than usual. “It doesn’t really matter now.”
This time, Hongjoong doesn’t let it go.
“What happened?” he prods.
“Just drop it,” you warn him. “It’s the past, forget I told you in the first place. Nothing ever came of it anyway.”
“Y/n-” Hongjoong changes tactics, the nagging tone replaced with a quieter, more serious one. You sigh.
“It didn’t work out. Obviously. I’m just not idol material.”
“Oh come on, I don’t believe that for a second. Your producing is good enough that I know for sure you’ve been getting offers to work with more companies than just KQ. When you direct during recording, you can hit every note without any warm up or practice. And I’ve heard your original songs, you must have been considered for both the position of lead rapper and lead singer as a trainee because there’s no way that anybody would let your talent go to waste.” Hongjoong is breathing hard by the end of his rant and Chan can see that this is something that has been bothering him for a while.
“It’s okay, Hongjoong-oppa.” Your voice is gentle, like you’re trying to comfort him. “I’m happy with what I have right now. Really. I’m grateful for all the freedom I have. Getting to work on any project I want and experiment with my music without having to deal with the bureaucracy and politics of the industry? Having that independence is precious to me. I wanted to be an idol for a long long time. But even though that specific plan I had didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy with what I’m doing.”
Hongjoong stays quiet for a while.
“Do you think that if you had the opportunity to debut as an idol now, you would?” he finally asks.
“Oppa, it’s not possible. I can’t dance, I’m too old-” you protest.
“No no, just hypothetically. Like if someone walked into the room and handed you a contract and said that if you signed it in an hour then you’d be able to debut.”
“I- I don’t know.”
“What’s your gut feeling?”
“I think I left that dream behind, I don’t know if I want to go down that path again. I don’t think I have it in me.”
“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong says after another pause. “I shouldn’t have questioned you so much, you shouldn’t have to justify your decisions to me.”
“No, it’s fine. It seems strange, right? For me to be an artist in Seoul and not want to get signed, it's only natural for you to be curious. But I learned a lot when I was a trainee and I learned even more after that and I can say with certainty that this is what I want.”
Chan takes that opportunity to knock on the studio door and push it open.
“Hey, hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, as if he wasn’t just eavesdropping on their conversation and purposely chose when to cut in. “Sorry, I’m a little bit late.”
“Hey, no problem man,” Hongjoong says. “We haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, so you’re right on time.”
“Good to see you,” you chime in. “I think this should be pretty quick so let’s get started!”
As you predicted, it doesn’t take long before a majority of the song is finished. Normally, Chan would be keen to stay involved until the very last detail is finalised, but he trusts you and at the end of this day, it’s Hongjoong’s song so he’s happy to give him the final say.
At the end of the session, Chan once again uses the opportunity to try to catch you alone. The two of you are side by side, packing your bags and Chan asks if you have any plans for the rest of the day. You confirm that you're available and Chan is about to suggest that the two of you take the time to catch up when Hongjoong interrupts.
“Oh, Y/n-ah,” he says. “I was actually hoping to get your input on something and I didn’t have a chance to ask you earlier. Can you please stick around for a bit? Sorry, hyung.”
Hongjoong sounds so sincere that Chan almost doesn’t feel annoyed that he’s stealing all of your time and attention. Almost, because at the end of the day, Chan’s only human. Even though he knows he has no right to feel possessive over you, he can’t stop the petty jealousy that bubbles up inside of him. At this point, there’s no denying the emotion.
Just like the previous session, he leaves alone, heading directly to the studio. Hours later, his breath catches when he checks his phone and sees that you’ve texted him.
[Received - 8:04pm]
Channie-oppa~
[Received - 8:04pm]
This is Y/nnie
[Received - 8:05pm]
Sorry about earlier, I have a contract with KQ Entertainment and work comes first :/
[Received - 8:09pm]
But I’m free now! You still interested in catching up?
Chan stares at the messages until it feels like they’re burned into his retinas. Logically, he knew that you had his number, the two of you were in a group chat that Hongjoong had set up, but this was your first time messaging him privately. The first time you had reached out in years. A precious opportunity that he never thought that he would have. He doesn’t want to mess this up.
He’s also shocked to see you texting so casually. Although the two of you have been comfortable in person, he wasn’t sure that it would translate to one-on-one conversation.
[Sent - 8:10pm]
Hey Y/n!
[Sent - 8:11pm]
No worries at all, I understand. I’m the same way too
[Sent - 8:13pm]
I still wanna meet up… but I’m all the way back in Gangdong-gu 😅 It’d be a bit of a trek for you if you're still at KQ
[Received - 8:13pm]
Gangdong-gu?
[Received - 8:14pm]
Ohh JYPE
[Received - 8:14pm]
My bad, forgot that you guys moved
[Sent - 8:15pm]
Yeahhh
[Sent - 8:15pm]
Headed straight back to the company after we were done, sorry
[Received - 8:18pm]
Well… If you’re willing to wait then I don’t mind. KQ is close to a metro station anyway
[Sent - 8:18pm]
Wait, really?
[Sent - 8:18pm]
No no no, don’t take the subway
[Sent - 8:18pm]
I’ll send a driver. They’re gonna pick you up in 20 min
[Received - 8:19pm]
Wowow
[Received - 8:19pm]
Private driver?
[Received - 8:20pm]
You’re a real superstar now haha
[Sent - 8:21pm]
alsfjshkafs noooooooo
[Sent - 8:21pm]
It’s just faster
[Sent - 8:21pm]
and safer
[Received - 8:22pm]
I’m not complaining
[Received - 8:22pm]
but I’m going to get your autograph when I see you
[Received - 8:23pm]
If I sell it then I can probably afford my own private driver 🤭
[Sent - 8:24pm]
Knew it
[Sent - 8:25pm]
You’re just using me for my fame
[Received - 8:26pm]
Ah you got me this time
[Received - 8:26pm]
*Your fame, your talent, and your good looks
[Received - 8:27pm]
Even tho you were the one that said you wanted to meet up
[Received - 8:27pm]
Hmmm maybe you’re the one using me?
Chan listens to his phone as it continues to vibrate from where it’s lodged in between two of the couch cushions after he threw it across to the opposite side of the room. His face is buried in his hands and flaming red. He feels both giddy and terribly embarrassed.
Chan’s no stranger to flirting, he’s experienced his fair share being on either side through interactions with the members and with Stay, but he forgot how flustered he was being on the receiving end of your teasing. The part he never understood is that your playful tone always gave way to sincerity. Even when the two of you would joke around, he could always tell that you meant every comment that you made about Chan being talented or attractive and that flattered him almost as much as it baffled him.
[Received - 8:32pm]
?? Speechless that I caught on?
[Received - 8:36pm]
I think your driver has arrived… Otherwise I’m being kidnapped
[Received - 8:40pm]
Don’t think I would survive a horror film… I got into the car with no questions asked
[Received - 8:42pm]
It was nice knowing you I guess
When he realises how much time has passed, Chan grabs his phone and runs down to the back entrance of the company. Luckily you haven’t arrived yet and he takes the time to reply to your messages.
[Sent - 8:53pm]
Sorry, lost track of time
[Sent - 8:53pm]
They’ll drop you off at the back door, I’ll meet you there so you don’t have to get signed in or anything
[Received - 8:54pm]
Don’t think you’re getting away with ignoring my other texts
[Received - 8:55pm]
But thanks
[Received - 8:55pm]
Is this back door, the famous one that only allows in authorised people?
[Received - 8:55pm]
I’m honoured
Chan rolls his eyes at your cheesy reference and is in the middle of typing up a response when he sees the car pull up. You step out cautiously, then brighten when you see where Chan’s propping up the door.
“Hey,” Chan greets you. “Glad that you made it safely.”
“Thanks for the ride,” you say, looking around curiously as Chan leads you to an elevator that takes you to the rest of the building. “So this is the new and improved JYP Entertainment. I’d say that it looks the same as before, but I never got the chance to come in.”
“Yeah,” Chan says, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck as he walks. “I mean it’s pretty nice, but at the end of the day a practice room is a practice room and that’s where we spend most of our time.”
“Hmm I think we might have to agree to disagree on that one. You have your own studio don’t you?”
“Ah, kind of. It’s technically a shared one, but practically I’m the only one that uses it unless we’re out of the country for a long time,” Chan confirms.
“Seems a lot better than what we used to have! Do you remember when we used to cram ourselves into that tiny room that barely even fit two chairs and a table?”
“I almost forgot about that, it was so terrible! In the summer it would get so hot that we’d keep the door open-”
“And then someone would come yell at us because we’d be playing music too loud-”
“I remember begging management to install a portable air conditioner on multiple occasions, but they always refused.”
“Of course! Even if they weren’t so stingy, there weren’t any windows leading outside in there, how could they install it?”
“Is that why? I always thought they just wanted us to suffer.”
“That too,” you giggle for a moment, before your smile fades. “But they weren’t totally unreasonable. Management has a different perspective than us, sometimes they know better than us because of their understanding of the industry. They can see things that we don’t.”
It’s clear that you’re no longer talking about air conditioning anymore. A lump seems to have formed in Chan’s throat when he recalls his conversation with Sana. Luckily, the two of you have just arrived and Chan forces himself to smile.
“We’re here,” he says, opening the door and motioning for you to enter ahead of him. “Welcome to Channie’s Room!”
“It’s cute!” you say as you step in. “Very… neat. It’s actually more spacious than it looks.”
“Oh,” Chan says, faltering in his steps for a second. “You- you’ve seen my studio?”
“In case you didn’t realise, you go live every week from said studio. I think at this point everyone in the K-pop industry and every K-pop fan has seen it,” you tease.
“Right, yeah. I didn’t- I wasn’t sure how much you kept up with that kind of stuff,” Chan stammers.
“K-pop or do you mean specifically Stray Kids?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.
“Either I guess," Chan shrugs.
"I will admit that it took me a while to get back into it," you say slowly. "I wasn't... in the best mindset after I left." Chan stays quiet, sensing that you're not quite finished. "I know that I disappeared and I am sorry for not reaching out. I wanted to, but I also didn't know how. I know that I hurt you. That it was cruel to avoid you, not reply to your messages, ignore your calls. I had my reasons why, but it doesn't excuse the pain that I caused, and I'm sorry for that too."
“I think,” Chan swallows hard. “I think that the most difficult part was that for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I asked Sana about it finally, after I saw you again. And I just felt so stupid to realise that it was obvious to everyone except me."
“I’m sorry,” you say again. “I wanted to tell you, of course I wanted to. But I also knew you. If I had told you that us being together was preventing your debut-”
“I wouldn’t have cared,” Chan finishes your sentence for you, starting to understand. “I would have done anything to keep you by my side.”
"Even if it meant throwing away your career," you say softly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourself. You worked so hard, how could I live with being the reason that you were stuck in the training rooms? You belong on stage, making music.”
"The part that I still don’t get though is why you left? You should have been able to debut as well, I know it."
“Ah,” you say wistfully. You look around and grab onto the pillow that’s on the couch beside you, fidgeting with it as you figure out what to say next. “You know, I actually was supposed to debut.”
“What? How come I never heard about it?” Chan feels a pang in his chest. All these years ago, the two of you had promised that the other would be the first person that they would tell if they ever found out that they had the chance to debut. It seemed that neither of them had kept their promise.
“It was supposed to be a secret project. JYP wanted to see how successful a surprise debut announcement would be. You should have seen the NDAs that they made us sign.” You shake your head, letting out a huff of air. “It turned out to be a good decision because it meant they could cancel it without anyone knowing that we existed in the first place.”
"Who was in the group?" Chan asks.
"There were five of us. I think you know all of them, Sumin, Ryujin, Sojin, and Hyowon," you list. You're right, Chan is either familiar with or has heard of all the girls that you mention. It doesn't make sense though, the group was filled with talented individuals and Chan can't think of any reason strong enough to lead to disbandment. Even more baffling is that of the five of you, only Ryujin ended up staying at the company long enough to join the lineup for another group.
"And they just cancelled it out of nowhere?"
“No... It was- I know that for any idol, preparing for debut is tough, but I think that in some ways, it’s especially brutal for the girl groups," you say instead. Chan doesn't question you further, knowing that you must have a point that you're trying to make.
“How so?” Chan has an idea, he’s seen what the female trainees went through, the differences in how they were evaluated and criticised. But he wants to hear it from you, wants to understand what you’ve been through.
“The visual aspect feels like it’s more heavily emphasised than our talent or skills. We were measured for our music video outfits the second they finalised the concept. It was really early on, but at the time I thought it was so exciting and fun that I didn’t question it. I think that all of us were so thrilled by the thought of debuting that we didn't think anything of it. We did our final fittings for it a few weeks before filming and they had made them all a size too small, everything was just a little bit too tight. They didn’t outright say it, but it was implied that they weren’t going to alter them. It was a choice to lose weight or our chance to debut was gone. We were devastated and angry and eventually just resigned. If that's what it took then I would do it. We dieted like crazy for the time leading up to filming,” you laugh, but it's in disbelief, the sound is hollow.
Paired with what you’re saying, it makes Chan want to burn the whole world down. He doesn't say anything, not sure if he can even open his mouth without letting his rage escape, something that you don't deserve.
“We were practising, like always," you continue. "There was a tricky step that needed to be fixed by the next day when we’d be recording, a flip that we hadn't quite mastered. I was the smallest one on the team, so I was the one being flipped. It must have been like 3 or 4 in the morning, we were all tired, hungry, and nervous about filming. Honestly, I don't quite remember what happened, it was all a blur. There was just this feeling that something went wrong and then pain."
You roll up the pants on your left leg and show off the skin there. Chan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. Even though it’s long healed, the scarring is extensive and obvious. Chan can't imagine how much it must have hurt.
“I broke my ankle in two places and sprained my wrist. I couldn't believe it, five years of my life just gone in an instant. It took months before I could walk and even longer before I could dance again. Even now, I can't dance anywhere close to the way that I used to," you say with a watery smile. “Sojinnie had a concussion from the fall and Suminnie dislocated her shoulder, I must have knocked into them or fallen onto them or something. What could we do? Three out of the five of us were out of commission, there was no time and no budget for a group that hadn’t even debuted to find replacements or re-record and re-film everything. I woke up after surgery and they told me that they were sorry, but my contract with the company was over. That someone had helped me pack up all my things in the dorm. I went back to Jeju-do as soon as I was released from the hospital.”
"I- I'm sorry that I didn't know," Chan says, clearing his throat roughly when his voice breaks partway through the sentence. " I wish that I could have been there, to help or comfort you. I should have-"
"Oppa," you respond gently. "It's okay. I didn't tell anybody what happened and the company also kept things quiet. I'm glad you didn't find out at the time. You had other, more important things to focus on, I didn't want to distract you from that."
"You're not a distraction," Chan says incredulously. "You're important to me, I would have dropped everything to be with you in such a difficult time."
"And that's exactly why I couldn't tell you. You've always been too good to me, Channie-oppa," you sniffle. "Look at you now! I'm so always proud when I think of how far you've come."
Chan lifts a trembling hand and carefully cups your face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear that has started making its way down your cheek. He hears your breathing hitch, but you don't object to his touch. If anything, you melt into it.
Chan takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, bringing you close. The gesture breaks the dam of tears that you must have been holding back. Chan rocks the two of you back and forth gently, just letting you cry and trying to surreptitiously wipe away his own tears. It takes a few minutes before you calm, taking huge shuddering breaths that break Chan's heart almost as much as your sobs had.
"I'm sorry," you say with a voice thick with emotion.
"Hey, no," Chan reassures you. "There's no need to apologise. Are you feeling better now?"
You nod slowly, head still pressed against Chan's chest.
"I think- I think I just missed you. I always thought it would get easier, not having you in my life, but it never did."
At your words, Chan can't help his arms from tightening, squeezing you close.
"I finally found you again," he says. "And this time, I promise that I won't ever let you go."
read it on ao3 | masterlist
#some loves#chahnniesroom#skz fanfic#skz angst#skz fic#skz x reader#skz x female reader#skz x y/n#stray kids angst#stray kids x female reader#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x you#stray kids fluff#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#bang chan angst#bang chan x reader#bang chan fluff#chan x reader#chan angst#chan fic#bang chan x y/n#bang chan x you#chan x you#chan x y/n#chan x female reader#skz imagines#stray kids#chan#bang chan
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MYSPACE 1.0 THEME REFRESH (originally by conkersradfurday, refreshed by unholyverse)
live previews: 1, 2 / download (pastebin)
hi! i've been using this old theme for years now because other myspace themes don't hit the same, but i've been tweaking a lot of it for personal use. i think it's been long enough since this theme has been abandoned that i can upload something that can handle itself better on modern tumblr.
main features
asks are formatted to look like myspace comments. fun!
four custom links
myspace buttons to follow, message, or block the blog owner
a bunch of info spaces so the world can know what you're about
extra font options
functional search bar (but this is tumblr so...semi functional?)
that web 2.0 ugly goodness
other features + info below the cut
new features
friend space - ever wanna show off your friends? now you can with the friend space to show off your top 8 9 friends on your blog. don't have enough friends? no worries, you can always toggle it off
image space - wanna put a bunch of blinkies somewhere? you'll need to have a bit of html and css knowledge for it, but you can go into the code and add as many images as you'd like. just look for the section and start pasting those images. it's a little tedious but tbh that's just the authentic myspace experience isn't it? but if that's not your thing, you can also toggle it off too.
tweaked/deleted features
had to delete the music player :( sorry but it used flash and i'm not really sure how to make a music player in javascript yet
added username input because it was annoying me that your title could be your name and it didn't make sense in most cases
deleted infinite scroll because the script was super outdated
added the ability to change the "online now!" gif. the original gif will always be in the defaults of the code.
changed the text post header font to verdana because it was impact and you could not fucking read that and it wasn't accurate to a myspace bulletin anyways
deleted the feature that force showed all the pages you made on your blog. so annoying. it will look a little weird if you have asks/submissions deactivated, but i doubt many of you using the theme will have them closed anyways
changed the dead links to redirect to the actual myspace site
extra recommended add-ons
scm music player: a customizable music player with tons of different skins and tons of songs you're able to add
unblue polls by @glenthemes: what it says basically; allows you to customize the colors of tumblr polls on your blog
cursors-4u.com: i love these dinky little cursors they're so fun. great if you really wanna lean into the 2000s aspect of the theme
cursor sparkles: what else is there to say about this they're just fun
notes
i plan on updating the theme semi-regularly if bugs are brought up and stuff (which you can tell me through my inbox)
hopefully i can work on extra tweaks as time goes on (such as figuring out how to add a footer image to videos, toggle tags, etc)
don't repost/claim as your own because it already isn't mine in the first place
like/reblog if you use!
update log
added a tags toggle + tweaked the video post sizes
made the "is in your extended network" status customizable to add different text. feel free to tell the world how many gas station boner pills you took
added an official theme link
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Maybe I'll spoil you guys and talk about Gwynriel and ACOTAR5 and anything related to it overall. I recently finished my HOFAS reread and have some fresh thoughts. I'll let my thoughts guide me and some of these points I've already addressed in my insta stories yesterday. I just rather share a lengthy post here since I'll only tag under #gwynriel.
I often see arguments about how Gwyn and Azriel can't move the plot forward because the series is centered on the Archeron sisters.
First, that's not true because Sarah is following what she called "a traditional romance route". She's following the same patterns of Nalini Singh, Kresley Cole, and Lisa Kleypas where they publish multiple books in the same series following different couples.
This is fitting for a series like ACOTAR because it's romance-centered. And Sarah have already said that each couple is getting one book and there will likely be more books beyond ACOTAR6.
Saying that doesn't dismiss the importance of the sisters to the story, Feyre already has a trilogy centered on her. The spin-off just follows different characters including the sisters.
I won't try hard to convince people on this because I've already posted almost everything Sarah said about the spin-off series and what's it's about. So if the next book is not centered on an Archeron sister, that's for Sarah to bamboozle the fandom with.
One thing that stuck out to me is when I compared the ending of ACOSF with the scene of Bryce giving Nesta Gwydion and seeming like she left Nesta with a new quest.
First, this is what the text says, and this is Chapter 80, the very last chapter in ACOSF:
Succeeding in the Blood Rite didn't mean the training stopped. No, after she and her friends told Cassian and Azriel most of the details of their ordeal, the two commanders had compiled a long list of mistakes that the three of them had made that needed to be corrected, and the others wanted to learn from them, too. So they would keep training, until they were all well and truly Valkyries. Gwyn, despite the Rite, had returned to living in the library.
1. The Valkyries are not yet a unit.
2. SJM only and specifically highlighted that Gwyn, despite the Rite, returned to living in the library. It was like "hey, remember all the talk Gwyn did about wanting to leave the library after two years? Yeah that's on hold a bit but keep that in mind". She didnt even add Emerie or the other priestesses to that sentence.
With Nesta being left with Gwydion to find out why the 8-pointed star was tattooed on her, I don't think the next book will start with "hey Elain take this sword and deal with it". Who are Nesta's main companions now? Gwyn and Emerie.
I'll be back to the Valkyries but let's just talk about Azriel for a bit.
It is so painfully obvious to me that Azriel is being handed the Illyrian plot on a golden platter. How big or small of a plot it is depends on SJM, but it's important based on the fact that she fleshed out the Illyrian's origins and tied them to the crossover AND making Truth-teller the knife of Enalius.
That is a big deal for an Illyrian like Azriel.
And I quote my friend Lacie on this, it is very poetic for Azriel to be the owner of the knife that originally belonged to the person who freed his own people from the Daglan's clutches, perhaps because he saw his people are more than just slaves to the Daglan—how powerful would it be for Azriel, who loathes his own people, to parallel Enalius.
And for years some people were against Azriel dealing with this plot because he shouldn't make peace with his "abusers", its true his own family and some Illyrians failed him but he is condemning an entire population. Good people like Emerie and Balthazar. Even Rhys's mother, who had valid reasons to hate her people especially as a female, still made sure to make Rhysand connect with his Illyrian heritage and he even goes on to say that his mother didn't forget what they did to her but still loved her people.
If both Cassian and Rhysand (and by extension the author) continue to flag Azriel's hatred of the Illyrians as an issue—then it is a damn big issue for it to be addressed repeatedly.
Okay so to address my final point about Gwyn and Azriel and how they can move the plot forward.
Now I didn't detail out much about what the next book will deal with because that's another post (and I already have a post on that).
All of our theories and predictions are based on information that is available to us. Saying Azriel and Gwyn cannot move the plot forward does not make any sense because the central plot is tied to multiple characters, Archeron or not.
If SJM wants to make a character move the next book's plot forward, she can do it because she's in control of the story. She's in control of the narrative. She's in control of the characters.
The characters are puppets and this is an unfinished story. If some characters would add more value and make for a more interesting story before the others, she can decide on that. If she wants to make Eris the protagonist of the next book, she can easily do that whether the fandom wants it or not.
Let me give you an example of minor characters that pushed the plot forward and became main characters: Yrene Towers and the Hind. These kind of arguments could've been used for them in HOEAB or HOSAB and Pre-TOD. Before HOSAB/HOFAS and TOD, could we have predicted that they would have played a crucial role before those books? Not likely because they had minimal appearances and were not part of the main cast. This is what I'm talking about.
You can't know how a character will contribute to a story until you see how it all unfolds. We can make guesses on the information we have which is why I believe three characters are likely to join the main cast: Gwyn, Emerie, and Eris.
Why is it so easy to accept that Emerie might be sharing a book with an original character like Mor but it's hard to comprehend the fact that Gwyn could also share a book with Azriel? Because Emerie showed up in ACOFAS? To me that's not really a strong argument based on Sarah's writing and what we have in the books, she doesn't really pick based on who showed up the earliest. Here's a good example: Hypaxia, who showed up earlier, didn't even get her own chapters but the Hind did.
And there's one argument I recall about how I need to rely on Nesta to have a plot focused on Gwyn or the Valkyries in the next book. Nesta's arc is clearly not over based on HOFAS, but does that mean she's getting a POV? Not necessarily. I don't think she is. Gwyn is the perfect candidate for us to see what's going on with Nesta post-HOFAS and how they all deal with the Valkyries and whatever Sarah will set up with them.
There is this whole Valkyrie/Illyrian conflict that could be triggered as a result of the Blood Rite, with Ramiel definitely being an important location to explore in the next book, we also have the Pegasi and the Prison and the implications of the crossover. It makes sense to have an Illyrian and a Valkyrie POV to deal with some plots in the next book.
"Gwyn contributes to nothing" we can't know until the book is out. How sure are we that maybe SJM won't connect her to the crossover by making her mysterious father a Worldwalker? Or Prince of Hel? Or an Asteri? Maybe I'm right maybe I'm wrong.
"But Koschei! And the Human Queens!" Koschei will always be a background player pulling on the strings until the final book as it's obvious he is the big bad in the series, unless someone even worse is revealed. But no one is dismissing Koschei or the Human Queens messing around.
Literally what's the point of the story or the fun elements of surprises or plot twists if you need Sarah to list down everything that the next books will deal with. That's not how a story develops to me. I don't need to know everything in advance to just know how it will go. That's like knowing spoilers early on and checking off with each book what happened and what didn't happen. I feel like it's close to how a lot of readers were disappointed with not having enough ACOTAR in HOFAS, because Sarah implied half of the book would be set in Prythian. So by the time the book came out and it wasn't that, people were vocal about it.
In my opinion, SJM set a good foundation for Gwyn's arc to build up on in ACOSF and her arc is not over. We won't get mentions of her still carrying the guilt of her sister's death or not leaving the library after she said she's sick of being there for two years without us seeing resolution for that. She wouldn't be in Azriel's bonus chapter if she is not involved with him.
To conclude, my reread still affirms to me that the next book with an Azriel/Gwyn book. Azriel is clearly being set in the forefront.
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I want to make my posts more accessible, but can't write IDs myself: a guide
[Plain text: "I want to make my posts more accessible, but can't write IDs myself: a guide." End plain text.]
While every image posted online should be accessible in an ideal world, we all know it 1) takes time to learn how to write image descriptions, and 2) is easy to run out of spoons with which to write IDs. And this says nothing of disabilities that make writing them more challenging, if not impossible — especially if you're a person who benefits from IDs yourself.
There are resources for learning how to write them (and if you already know the basics, I'd like to highlight this good advice for avoiding burnout) — but for anyone who cannot write IDs on their original posts at any current or future moment, for any reason, then there are two good options for posting on Tumblr.
1. Crowdsource IDs through the People's Accessibility Discord
[Plain text: "1. Crowdsource IDs through the People's Accessibility Discord". End plain text.]
The People's Accessibility Discord is a community that volunteers description-writing (and transcript-writing, translation, etc) for people who can't do so themselves, or feel overwhelmed trying to do so. Invite link here (please let me know if the link breaks!)
The way it works is simple: if you're planning to make an original post — posting art, for example — and don't know how to describe it, you can share the image there first with a request for a description, and someone will likely be able to volunteer one.
The clear upside here (other than being able to get multiple people's input, which is also nice) is that you can do this before making the Tumblr post. By having the description to include in your post from the start, you can guarantee that no inaccessible version of the post will be circulated.
You can also get opinions on whether a post needs to be tagged for flashing or eyestrain — just be able to spoiler tag the image or gif you're posting, if you think it might be a concern. (Also, refer here for info on how to word those tags.)
The server is very chill and focused on helping/answering questions, but if social anxiety is too much of a barrier to joining, or you can't use Discord for whatever reason, then you can instead do the following:
2. Ask for help on Tumblr, and update the post afterwards
[Plain text: "Ask for help on Tumblr, and update the post afterwards". End description.]
Myself and a lot of other people who describe posts on this site are extra happy to provide a description if OP asks for help with one! This does leave the post inaccessible at first, so to minimize the drawbacks, the best procedure for posting an image you can't fully describe would be as follows:
Create the tumblr post with the most bare-bones description you can manage, no matter how simple (something like "ID: fanart of X character from Y. End ID" or "ID: a watercolor painting. End ID," or literally whatever you can manage)
Use a tool like Google Lens or OCR to extract text if applicable and if you have the energy, even if the text isn't a full image description (ideally also double-check the transcriptions, because they're not always perfect)
Write in the body of the post that you'd appreciate a more detailed description in the notes!
Tag the post as "undescribed" and/or "no id" only if you feel your current, bare-bones description is missing out on a lot of important context
When you post it and someone provides an ID, edit the ID into the original post (don't use read mores, italics, or small text)
Remove the undescribed tag, if applicable. If you're posting original art, you can even replace it with a tag like "accessible art" for visibility!
And congrats! You now have a described post that more people will be able to appreciate, and you should certainly feel free to self-reblog to give a boost to the new version!
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Mural commission scams/Commission scams
(Mural commission scams/Commission scams)
If you are an artist who regularly posts art to tumblr, you may have received DMs/replies from accounts who are either asking to use your art in a mural because a client wants it or a message asking you if you take commissions (even if you have a post that would answer that question) before requesting you to draw their pet/family member.
These are actually known as scam messages/asks and were originally mainly spotted on deviantART/Twitter (X), Instagram, etc. You get these if you use certain tags as these mainly blank blogs are usually watching them for new artists to target and con money (or time) out of. These are never real people wanting art from you and are always scammers who have no interest in paying you for your hard work.
One of the most common things is that they will never look at your commission sheet or read your TOS, and will avoid answering any specific questions you may have since they’re not here to talk. Their talking is just trying to flatter you (claiming they love your art) and to make you think you’ll be getting a lot of money for little work. Unfortunately, these blogs do not want to pay you and they will not give you the funds no matter how much it is.
These kind of scammers will ask for your email and then send you a fake PayPal email claiming they sent you money but there was a problem and you need to ‘upgrade’ your account to receive the funds. This email is not officially sent by PayPal and is made to scare you into thinking something has went wrong. Do not worry. It is not a real PayPal email. It is a fake one.
Keep in mind these scam blogs will not use the payment methods you already offer. Their task is getting your email then trying to get your personal information.
If someone’s offering to pay you $300+ for a simple drawing of a generic dog took off Google images, be wary of the account and ask them questions first. If you feel like something is off, cut contact and report them immediately before blocking them.
If you drew the art anyway, just edit the drawing to have a block of text saying the commissioner was a scammer and then advertise your commissions!
Always have a clear Terms of Service around payment options and do not let high payments trick you into drawing for scammers.
I am post this with the art tag as it relates to art and the current situation of artists over here now getting the same scam messages that deviantART users get. Please share this post to your art friends.
#Mural commission scams#commission scams#scam#artists on tumblr#art#psa#important information#how to spot a scam blog#kyra45 speaks#long post
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They Were Roommates!
Rating: Mature CW: None Relationships: Steve/Eddie, Steve & Robin, Eddie & Robin, Eddie & Chrissy, Robin/Chrissy Tags: Alternate Universe — Modern Setting, Texting, Dialogue Only, Text Fic, Humor, Sexual Humor, Bad Flirting, Mild Angst, Stardew Valley References, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Little Shit, Eddie Munson is a Little Shit, Robin Buckley is a Little Shit, Chrissy Cunningham is a Sweetheart, Alternate Universe — Roommates/Housemates, Robin Buckley is a Chappell Roan Fan, Steve Harrington is Chronically Offline, Eddie Munson is Chronically Online, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Gay Disaster Eddie Munson, Alternate Universe — No Upside Down, Alternate Universe — No Supernatural Elements, Neurodivergent Steve Harrington, Neurodivergent Eddie Munson, Neurodivergent Robin Buckley Originally posted here on AO3, but I felt it was time to bring it over to Tumblr. Lots of sexual jokes in here, I'm sorry lol
📱—————📱
Steve: Do you wanna hang out in my room? I could rent that new Kristen Stewart movie.
Robin: Can’t. I’m being gay and listening to music.
Steve: …what?
Robin: I’m being gay and listening to music.
Steve: You’re…??? I don’t understand.
Robin: Chappell Roan.
Steve: ? Who?
Robin: Chappell Roan. The singer. The lesbian icon. Chappell Roan.
Seen 2h ago
——— Eddie: hey
Steve: Hey? Aren’t you driving? Why are you texting me?
Eddie: yeah, about that
Eddie: I was driving home and I guess I ran over a nail?? or maybe a sharp stick or something? I dunno but now I have a flat tire and I need to be picked up
Steve: You don’t have a spare? Shouldn’t you carry one for a van like that?
Eddie: steve.
Steve: Eddie.
Eddie: what makes you think somebody like me has a spare tire?? I don’t even have a modern radio in this fuckass van why would I have a spare tire
Steve: So that you don’t get in situations like this? Forget the spare tire. Where are you? I’ll come get you.
Eddie: I’m uhhhh……at Walmart in the parking lot
Eddie: I got something for your birthday so you cant look inside of my bag
Eddie: god, this shit is a pain in the ass
Eddie: this would’ve never happened if harambe didn’t die
Steve: Who?
Eddie: you’re joking. steve, tell me you’re joking and that you know who harambe is.
Steve: Was he a friend of yours?
Eddie: holy shit. you don’t know who harambe is. what the hell were you doing in 2016
Steve: 🙄
Steve: Can you just tell me so that I can pick you up and we can have dinner?
Eddie: you’re gonna have to sit down for this
Eddie: basically, harambe was this gorilla in the……cincinnati zoo, I think?? anyway he was this gorilla that was just sorta vibing in his enclosure and then this little boy fell in
Steve: Oh my god. Is the boy okay?
Eddie: oh, the boy is totally fine
Eddie: the zoo killed the gorilla tho
Seen just now
Eddie: steve? hello?
Steve: They killed the gorilla? Did the gorilla even do anything?
Eddie: nope
Steve: So they just killed an innocent gorilla?
Eddie: yeah
Eddie: they thought he’d kill the kid
Seen just now
Eddie: soooo….u on ur way?
Eddie: steve?
Eddie: steeeeveeeeee
Steve: Hold on, dude.
Eddie: I can order an uber
Steve: Just give me a fucking second. I’m crying in the middle of our apartment’s courtyard, Jesus Christ.
Steve: A little boy just asked if I was okay and I had to tell him that some zoo killed a gorilla and now he’s crying with me.
Steve: You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.
Eddie: ???
Eddie: we sleep in separate beds. in separate rooms.
Steve: Couch.
Eddie: ….fine, m’lord. sorry.
——— Robin: why did you tell him about Harambe?
Eddie: he asked!
Robin: he. won’t. stop. using. my. computer.
Robin: even when I get it back, there’s like five tabs in my history about that fucking gorilla.
Robin: wait. hold on.
Eddie: oh, god. Is he crying again?
Eddie: I’m already at the store. I’ll get him a tub of that mudslide ice cream and uhhh…do you think he likes red or white roses??
Eddie: there’s a sale on those big Reese’s easter eggs….I’ll get him a few of those
Eddie: do you think it’s too much to get him balloons…
Eddie: robin? hello? why do you guys just stop responding?
Robin: dude. he reads People magazine. like…
Robin sent a photo
Robin: that’s his inbox, dude. he left himself logged in and there’s like fifty of these People emails.
Eddie: robs, don’t kick a guy while he’s down
Eddie: that’s poopy :(
Robin: you’re the reason he’s feeling so shitty! suck his dick or something, fuckhead. that might make him feel better
Eddie: yeah? you think?
Eddie: doesn’t he use flavored condoms though?
Eddie: mmmm…strawberry dick
Robin: HE BOUGH CHAPPELL ROAN TICKETS??? THE BASTARD
Robin: he doesn’t even know who she is…
Robin: also
Robin: please don’t send me “mmmm….strawberry dick” ever again.
Eddie: sto psnooping and i won’t do that
Robin: …no
Eddie: get ready for me to suck your best friend’s dick, then. I got him three of those Reese’s eggs, a tub of ice cream, a bouquet of white roses, and Walmart’s finest boxed wine.
Eddie: he’ll forget about his woes with ye olde harambe
Eddie: cuz he’ll only think of my name, motherfucker
Seen just now
Robin: I hate u
Eddie: eat my farts
Robin: 🖕
Eddie: I love you too, robs
Robin: get me sprite please.
Robin: and pads ultra absorbent in the orange wrapper.
Eddie: will do with haste, m’lady
Eddie: got you a new bottle of midol and a large chewy nerds rope
Robin: thank you
Robin: just don’t tell me when you suck his dick, that’s all I ask
Eddie: I make no promises.
Seen just now
——— Steve: Why is there like five Reese’s eggs sitting on my bedspread right now?
Eddie: I’m apologizing
Steve: For?
Steve: Wait…Is this about that gorilla? Dude, don’t worry about that. You could’ve told me that it happened eight years ago.
Eddie: oh thank god
Eddie: robin keeps encountering me in the kitchen in the middle of the night with her scary lesbian aura and the eyes sharp enuf to kill a man
Eddie: I got you ice cream and flowers, too did you see them ????
Seen 3m ago
Steve: When are you coming home?
Eddie: uhhhhh
Eddie: like two hours my shift here should be done by then if my dickwad of a manager lets me out on time
Eddie: fucker might ask me to stay back tho because the closers can’t do their jobs
Eddie: why?
Steve: I need to eat your love straight out of your asshole.
Eddie: Jesus
Eddie: …
Eddie: damnit Steve, now I’m fully erect in the walk-in
Steve: You can’t come home now?
Eddie: no sweetheart I can’t
Seen 5m ago
Steve: I put your pillows on my bed. If you don’t fuck me into next Sunday when you come back, I’ll tell Robin you’re the reason our couch has a huge stain on it.
Eddie: mmm
Eddie: you drive a hard bargain but…ok.
Steve: Really? You’re easy to convince.
Eddie: you kidding me? I’ve been wanting you in bed with me since the day I met you, pretty boy
Eddie: im fucking over the moon right now that my proposition worked
Steve: If you call it “propositioning” one more time, Robin will know about the couch.
Eddie: okay fine, I’m not propositioning
Eddie: I’m rizzing you up
Steve: What does that mean?
Eddie: you’re so offline and it’s doing things to me
Eddie: charming. I’m charming u
Eddie: you’re my favorite old person.
Steve: ?
Steve: I’m twenty-three.
Eddie: whatever you say, peepaw
Eddie: I gotta go have to take care of this massive hard-on you gave me. can’t wash dishes like this
Steve: Yeah? We should put that to the test.
Eddie: and I’m the freak ??
Seen just now
——— Robin has created a group chat with two other people
Robin: the next time you guys resolve the issues you two idiots create for each other, can you let me know ahead of time? you’re lucky I didn’t bring Chrissy home with me from class.
Eddie: I don’t know what you’re talking about nothing happened
Robin: I thought somebody brought home a girl, but it was just Steve.
Steve: Do I sound like a pretty girl at least?
Robin: the prettiest, but seriously.
Robin: I don’t need to hear you guys getting it on while I’m trying to eat my after school taco.
Eddie: don’t you need Chrissy for that ??
Robin: I’m going to put nair in your shampoo.
Steve liked a message: "the prettiest, but seriously."
Steve: I’m ordering pizza. You guys want cheesy bread?
Robin: Yes!
Eddie: plz? With the garlic dip too 🥺 ??
Steve liked a message: "plz? with the garlic dip too 🥺 ??"
Robin: you text like a bottom
Steve: Trust me, he’s not. ;)
Robin: uggghhhhh!! I’m so proud of you two but also go fuck yourselves, you turds
Eddie: with pleasure
Eddie: robs, steve and I are gonna have sex before the pizza gets here
Robin: you two are insufferable.
Robin: I’m gonna sit on the porch and call my girlfriend. before I implode.
Delivered 10m ago
Robin: Chrissy says congratulations.
Delivered 2m ago
——— Eddie: robs, I’m about to have birthday sex with Steve
Eddie: put your headphones on
Robin: he opened that game you got him and immediately needed to do it? Jesus
Eddie: about to get me a slice of that birthday cake if you know what I mean
Robin: please just shut up.
——— Robin: Eddie.
Eddie: ? wut
Robin: you need to tell your boyfriend that he can’t use voice to text when you two are flirting
Robin: I was on the phone with my fucking gyno’s office and I could hear him through the other room say
Robin: and I quote
Robin: “I’m going to ravish that perky ass of yours.”
Robin: my gyno asked me if I was busy, Edward. busy having buttsex with my platonic soulmate. I was humiliated.
Robin: I need you to have a convo with him or something.
Eddie: u should buy earplugs
Robin: I WAS ON THE PHONE, EDWARD
Robin: ON THE PHONE WITH MY VAGINA DOCTOR
Robin: IT WAS EMBARRASSING FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED
Eddie: but he’s such a slow typer
Eddie: it’s literally like watching my uncle try and use his phone
Eddie: but fine.
Eddie: I’ll make him play that game I got him or something instead of text me
Robin: fucking thank you
Robin: and stop leaving your dildo in the bathtub
Eddie: wut dildo ?? I don’t own a dildo
Robin: …
Robin: I’m gonna wring his neck, brb
Eddie: he’s using a dick that isn’t mine ?? :(
Delivered 10m ago
——— Steve: If I can’t use voice to text to flirt, then you shouldn’t be able to have loud phone sex with Chrissy, Robs.
Robin: …no comment
Eddie: are u having loud phone sex with MY platonic soulmate ??
Eddie: bro…
Robin: she told me my trumpet tounging skills were good and that she couldn’t stop thinking about them
Robin: 😔 so I got horny with it, I’m sorry
Eddie: birdie getting horny on main ?? with a praise kink of all things ??
Steve: Hey, I take offense to that. You praise me all the time.
Eddie reacted to a message: "Hey, I take offense to that. You praise me all the time."
Eddie: sorry sweetheart, ’twas only in jest
Robin: I thought Stevie was listening to music while playing his farm game! I didn’t think he could hear me!
Eddie: tsk tsk
Robin: I’m going to Chrissy’s. and turning my notifs off.
Eddie: where does she live ??
Robin: what? you’ve been to her parent’s house
Eddie: in pound town ?!!
Eddie: oh that… that sent too l8
Steve: Eddie, can you come back from your uncle’s? I started playing Stardew Valley this morning and I’m at a point where I need to find the mayor’s shorts. I don’t know where they are.
Steve: Never mind. Got them.
Steve: Why were they in Marnie’s room?
Eddie: steve… baby …
Steve: ?
Eddie: they were having crazy sex animal style
Seen just now
Steve disliked a message: "they were having crazy sex animal style"
Steve: When are you going to stop being on the internet? It’s fundamentally changed something in you that I don’t think can ever be reverted.
Eddie: that would be whimsy, m’lord
Eddie: and childlike wonder
Robin: can you guys get a room? I’m trying to drive and my stupid car play keeps reading out your text messages.
Steve: Why won’t this character leave his bedroom? Is he Eddie?
Eddie: … ur so feisty today
Steve: Feisty for you.
Robin: GET A ROOM, YOU FREAKS
Delivered just now
——— Robin: I just got home and Steve’s in the exact same spot on the couch that I left him in at like noon. it’s six.
Eddie: is he seriously still on that game I got him ??
Robin: the farm game, right? otherwise, he bought a new game while I was gone
Eddie: yeh. he mentioned it like once and I thought it wood be nice for his birthday but now I’m regretting my choices
Robin: I just peeked my head into the living room and he’s currently feeding chickens on the big screen and cooing at them as if they’re real. I don’t think we’re gonna be watching Chopped tonight.
Eddie: 😔 that’s my favorite part of our dinners tho
Robin: it’s your fault. he’s been on there since like eight this morning.
Robin: I heard him yelling about some bitch named Pierre because he couldn’t buy seeds. I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing game??
Eddie: it usually is but you know Steve
Eddie: he rages over like every game
Eddie: I just thought it would be a change of pace from that match three game he keeps getting himself sucked into
Robin: mmm…that royal match one, right? he keeps sending me invites. think he’s on like level 560.
Eddie: how ?? he started playing that two days ago
Robin: pattern recognition.
Eddie: ahhh yeahhh pattern recognition
Eddie: the reason why every horror movie marathon ends up boring for him
Eddie: he figured out the killers in the new scream movies within the first ten minutes
Robin: he’s yelling about someone named marnie?? he needs to buy hay but can’t get it. I might need you to come back from your uncle’s and convince him to put the controller down.
Eddie: no, marnie can go fuck herself. she’s having an affair with the mayor and putting everybody’s animals in jeopardy.
Robin: so much rage and gossip for a game about farming.
Seen just now
Robin: Eddie, he’s making kissy noises at an NPC and telling him that he’s gonna capture all the frogs in the world.
Robin: should I be worried?
Eddie: nah, just let him be at least this is giving him something to do
Eddie: he’s been having a pretty bummer week
Eddie: had a phone call with his parents. didn’t end well.
Robin: ah, okay. will you pick up our normal pizza order on your way back?? I’m not in the mood to cook tonight.
Eddie: yeh, sure
Robin: remind me to send you money on Venmo.
Robin: I’m gonna get him to info dump.
Robin: maybe I’ll start playing with you guys, too.
Eddie: don’t worry about the Venmo thing. but I am going to force you to play. think you’ll love it.
Eddie: although, then I’ll have to deal with two Stardew addicts
Eddie: oh well, be home soon
Seen 2m ago
——— Robin: can Chrissy live with us?
Eddie: I don’t see a problem with it, homie
Steve: Yeah, I don’t see why not.
Steve: Is everything okay though? Does she need a place to stay right now?
Robin: everything’s fine, Stevie. don’t need to worry
Robin: I just want her with me and as much as I love you guys, I’m tired of being the only woman in the apartment
Robin: and being the only level-headed one
Robin: but mainly because I want to cuddle my girlfriend every night
Steve: Yeah, sure.
Eddie: fuck yeah
Eddie: two pairs of best friend chaos
Eddie: surely this will go well
Robin added a person to the group
Chrissy: Hey guys!!
Eddie: Chrissy, my love my light my world
Eddie: you’re going to regret everything
Steve emphasized a message: "Chrissy, my love my light my world"
Steve: I thought I was that?
Eddie: you’re my moon, stars, and galaxy
Eddie: you’re the universe
Steve: Hehe, really?
Robin: hey chris, this is how they are please get used to it because they’ve been driving me insane for months now
Chrissy: I think it’s cute! 💕
Chrissy: I should add them in the Sims!!
Steve: What’s that?
Robin: oh no
Eddie: Chrissy, don’t do it don’t tell him
Chrissy: Oh, it’s this game where you can make characters and build them a house and basically guide their lives. It’s really cool, Steve!
Chrissy: You should play it!
Steve: Is it fun?
Chrissy: Oh my god, yeah! You can make anybody and literally do anything.
Chrissy: Like think of all the people you hate.
Chrissy: You can make them and kill them and make them suffer and it doesn’t actually harm anybody in real life, it’s great! 💕
Robin: Chrissy
Chrissy: Yes, love?
Robin: he just disappeared into the home office.
Eddie: somebody needs to take his card away from him like right now
Robin: too late. I just heard the music start up.
Eddie: Chrissy, I love you to bits and pieces but I think you’ve successfully indoctrinated a new monster
Steve: I can fine tune the genders of these guys.
Steve: I’m making a dog and his name is going to be Peanut.
Steve: This game is wonderful.
Delivered 30m ago
Steve: Eddie’s pregnant and the kitchen is on fire.
Eddie: wut how it’s been half an hour
Eddie: why am I pregnant
Eddie: steve, what did you do
Steve: 😏
Steve: You know what I did.
Eddie: Steve. I’m coming home early from my trip at Wayne’s. but I need you to answer when I call you. I can’t be horny in here.
Robin: You guys are disgusting. Chrissy, what have you done?
Chrissy: Robin, we’re getting married in the Sims.
Robin: I luv you 💕
Chrissy: Now we’re having sex animal style.
Eddie: I hate that I taught you that.
Steve: We had a son.
Seen just now
Eddie liked a message: "We had a son."
Eddie: name him corn. it would be funny
Seen 5m ago
Eddie: no love for corn boy ?
Steve: Sometimes I wish you would shut up.
Eddie: make me
Steve: I’m gonna be fucking Eddie when he comes home in like thirty minutes. Don’t come back until I text you.
Robin: I’m staying at Chrissy’s tonight to help her pack. don’t do butt stuff on the couch.
Eddie: I make no promises
Steve liked a message: "I make no promises"
Seen 5m ago
——— Robin: Steve, what’s with the orange envelope on my desk? it’s too ominous for my liking.
Steve: You should open it! :D
Steve: It’s a gift for you and Chris for your guys’ one year!
Robin: CHAPPELL ROAN
Steve: :)
Steve: In New York, too! I found the good flights from Chicago to there and back. I booked you guys a hotel and there’s a whole printed out page of all the good restaurants in the area! And I also have some cash that you guys can use for food and souvenirs and stuff!
Robin: …Steve you beautiful beautiful man thank you
Robin: I’m making your favorite dinner tonight
Steve: Eddie’s reading a book right next to me, though?
Robin: why are you gay
Robin: no bitch. I was talking about a reuben sandwich
Robin: but I guess if you wanna suck cock, then whatever
Steve: Eh. I’ll save it for dessert.
Steve: Also, you don’t have to act surprised about those tickets. I know you looked through my emails.
Steve: You’re literally this motherfucker.
Steve has sent an image
Robin: That’s literally just Snoopy.
Steve: You got this.
Robin: …oh
Robin: maybe don’t subscribe to People magazine and then leave fifteen tabs about harambe open on my laptop
Steve: Blame Eddie.
Robin: Blame Eddie, you’re so right.
——— Eddie: Chrissy, am I being shunned?
Chrissy: Harambe.
Eddie: what?
Steve: The gorilla.
Eddie: not this again
Robin: you have been banished to the shadows for aiding me in my quest to find the Chappell Roan tickets
Eddie: YOURE THE ONE WHO SNOOPED I TOLD YOU NOT TO
Chrissy: Babe…you told me you didn’t.
Sent 10m ago
Robin: I’ve been shunned :(
Eddie: welcum to the club, loser
Robin: I hate you
Eddie: :)
Steve: Eddie’s pregnant again.
Seen just now
Eddie liked a message: "Eddie's pregnant again."
Eddie: plz name it corn this time plzzz
Steve disliked a message: "plz name it corn this time plzzz"
Eddie: I shall avenge you corn boy, for you will not be shunned like your father
Steve: If I stop shunning you and suck your dick, will you be normal?
Eddie: maybe
Steve: Robin, Chrissy. I need you to go to the grocery store for a little bit. I have something to do before I need to go to work and you guys can’t be here.
Robin: you guys are like rabbits when is it hunting season
Steve: Love you too
Robin: Love you more, dingus. Just please stop fucking all the time.
Eddie: how else am I going to be pregnant?
Robin has left the group chat
📱—————📱 I plan on making a part two for this one! Here it is as-is, for now, though.
#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#robin x chrissy#eddie munson & robin buckley#stobin#platonic hellcheer#text fic
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Are the any new fics (within the last couple months) that are good? I’m in a reading drought and I feel like I’ve read every Larry fic there is :( I got so desperate I even thought about looking into f/m fics..
NOOOOO NOT THE HET FICS. DON’T DO IT. 😆
I think I’m just going to use your ask to post my year-end favorite fics. Hope you don’t mind.
It’s been a tough year for me, and I haven’t gotten to read a ton, but these are all excellent.
Secrets, Santa? By @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 19K) disaster gay Harry in all his bumbling, endearing glory still manages to make his incredibly hot boss (Louis) fall for him. This one has snappy dialogue, great internal monologue, and scorching smut. I’d expect nothing less from this author.
your lips in the low light by etherealbliss / @givesuethemoon (E, 21K) It’s been a long time since I read a Larry Uni AU, and this one checked all the boxes. This author managed to really capture the immaturity and obsessive emotions of university age lovers arguing and breaking up, and making each other jealous, and fucking and fighting some more, and ultimately making up. Harry is bratty and sensitive and Louis is dense and long-suffering and they’re perfect for each other.
Scorpions et Madragores by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter (E, 23K) Read the tags and author’s note on this one because there are some themes that could be triggering. This is a dark fic and Harry is a pretty creepy vampire, but the story is very well told and there’s a happy ending.
2 a.m. texts by everysingleday / @sun-lt (T, 30K) This was very sweet and very funny and had just enough sexiness (although I wouldn’t have minded more. LOL!) Link is to a download.
The Doppel Effect by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright (T, 6K) the concept for this fic was so original and a really compelling read, I can’t help but hope the author gets inspired to continue this ‘verse.
Danger I Can’t Hide by CelticSky (E, 227K) This one’s got all the tension and drama you’d expect of a World War II story—life and death high stakes, friends and lovers unexpectedly torn apart, battles and heroism, plus the added stakes of classism and homophobia—then add a slow burn, high risk, scorching love affair spanning years. If you want a story that’s complex and fantastically researched, plus lovers to root for, read it. It’s long. But I couldn’t put it down. When I finally did, I picked it right back up and read it twice more. It’s that good.
one conversation by fondleeds (NR, 1K) This really is just a couple of scenes, and the story is open-ended, but, if for no other reason, read it for the beautiful way the sentences flow. My notes on every fic of theirs begin with: “I wish I could write like this.”
Night Shift by banaanipoika (E, 9K) This was incredibly sexy and beautifully written. I loved that there was such a unique setting with so much descriptive language making me feel like I could smell and feel everything in that hospital room.
On The Pull by @homosociallyyours (E, 4K) Short, but really sexy and just the right amount of bittersweet and hopeful. Loved the characterizations and the smooth writing. So few people write canon Larry these days so this was a nice change of pace.
Devil in my brain, whispering my name by @lunarheslwt (E, 9K) i i thought this author struck a great balance between the dirtiness of a demon defiling an angel and the way the angel gave in to his desire to be defiled. Super sexy.
pull you closer (kiss me harder) by @sunshineandthemoonlight (E, 6K) This was absolutely beautiful — just the perfect amount of tension and wistfulness to make me tear up. But then it was sexy and full of hope at the end. I loved how Louis supported Harry and gave him exactly what he needed (and really, H gave Louis what he needed, too).
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Con La Brisa (Leviathan x GN!Reader)
Leviathan x Reader
Tags: Romantic fluff, takes place on the beach and in water
Word Count: 2,849
Summary:
With the new skill you recently mastered, you plan to surprise Levi with a date underwater.
[✨Likes, Comments & Reblogs are supper appreciated!✨]
Notes: This work is also available on Ao3, feel free to leave kudos, comment or read there if you prefer Ao3 more ❤️
I forgot to add this in the original Ao3 post, but I was really inspired by the song from underwater scene in wakanda forever. So, I'd play the song on loop every time I was writing this. Feel free to give it a listen before, after, or during your reading session.
------------------------
It’s been a while since you and Levi last saw each other for reasons that he understood as well. For one, you were up in The Human World, tending to your regular life while you were on a break from the student exchange program. And for another, there were certain duties you had to fulfill as Solomon’s most promising apprentice. In other words, Solomon was keeping you very busy with the lessons he provided as your mentor. Admittedly, it made Leviathan feel a bit upset, but he would always feel better upon receiving your calls and messages. It made him even happier when you would do co-op with him, just the two of you.
This time around, you were reaching out for the most unexpected reason paired with a quite off-putting request:
“Levi! Let's go to the beach this Saturday! Solomon gave me the day off and I thought it'd be lovely to do some swimming!”
Leviathan was speechless… no… he was frozen. This is the first time you asked to do something so extroverted. It's quite difficult to think of any proper response.
“I don't know about going to the beach, MC…”
“Oh, I know you might be worried about other people in the place, but I promise there's a private part of the beach we're headed to. I figured I'd take you there because I also have a surprise to show you!” The smiley face at the end of the text made Levi think twice about rejecting the idea. Maybe it's overthinking, but he has this feeling that you might not take no for an answer.
He lets out a sigh, essentially out of awe at how spontaneous you are. Though admittedly, it made his heart race thinking about what would happen on that day. He imagined the scenarios painted by shoujo mangas, especially considering it would just be the two of you going.
His thoughts ran wildly with all the writing conventions he got from every manga he’s read. So much so that he wondered if he needed to practice playing volleyball, or maybe some tough talk when you run into a random group of troublesome strangers… What if you planned to ask him to help you put on some sunblock lotion? What about the conversation you might have as you watch the sunset?
Apart from that, you didn’t tell him to bring anything other than himself… did he need to bring anything? for him? for you? for both of you? Or—
“Stop this! It’s not like it’s gonna turn out that way anyways… even if we are dating…”
Even if going to the beach was the most typical kind of date for couples, he couldn’t believe you were inviting an otaku like him to go with you. If anything, he figured you’d bring Beel and Belphie, Asmo, or Mammon, who definitely wouldn’t refuse some downtime at the beach.
The same kind of thoughts ended up partially clouding his mind for the entire week. Luckily, not so much that it ended up becoming a problem for his duties as a RAD student and student council member. However, it did end up making him lose several rounds in the RPG game he was currently obsessing over.
When the day arrived, Levi had to make sure that the day would be perfect and ended up with a lot of stuff to bring after all. In response, Asmo and Mammon had to talk him out of bringing too many beach items. In the end, Levi just brought some sunscreen that Asmodeus shoved onto him, sunglasses, some swimwear, and himself.
“Are you sure I don’t need any of the stuff I was gonna bring?”
“Levi, if MC is the one that asked you out as a surprise, it should probably mean that they’re the one with an itinerary.” The 5th eldest of the brothers reasoned, speaking as if this was based on common sense.
“I-I guess you’re right about that…” Asmo was the love expert after all, despite being slightly uneasy and nervous, he adhered to his advice.
“If you’re gonna get cold feet over going to the beach, I oughta take your place and go with MC to the beach.” Mammon hit him in a way that was aggressively playful as if he was telling him to turn back and switch places with him. Levi raised an eyebrow, slightly annoyed
“T-they asked me ! Besides…”
We’re the ones dating, they’re in love with me. He stopped himself before he could say his thoughts aloud, it was a close call.
“N-nevermind, I’m just going because it’s MC! You should never refuse MC!”
Right as he says that, a portal emerges and he sees MC by the entrance. The timing almost made Mammon and Levi squeal.
“Hey, MC! If ya planned on dropping by, at least give us a heads up! I think I lost 1000 years in my lifespan thanks to you!”
“MC!” Asmo squeals and runs over to give you the biggest bear hug.
“Hello guys! Just coming in to pick up Levi. How did I do with the portal spell?” You turned over to Levi with a glimmer of excitement in your eye. His eyes widened realizing how close your face was to his.
“U-uh…!” He took a step back and coughed, rose pink dusting his cheeks.
“It was actually really good! Solomon’s mentoring skills are definitely not something to mess with.” You giggled and took him by the hand before turning to the two brothers who were seeing him out.
“Well… off we go! It was nice seeing you all!”
“Take care ya damn lovebirds!”
“Have fun you two!”
Before Leviathan could say anything else, you both already made it across the portal and into the beach.
Levi was expecting some intense heat rays. To his surprise, the heat wave never came. Instead, he was greeted with a healthy mix of blue hues and fluffy clouds.
“Huh…” His eyes landed on the ground, feeling the warmth of white sand on his flip-flops. It was a small pet peeve, but he was going to ignore it for now.
He looked a bit farther and that this was a part of the beach that was relatively distant from where people would often stay.
“Not bad right? Let's head over to the docks.” Levi nodded, letting MC take his hand and walk him to the nearby docks. It was old, the varnish that protected the wood faded from the sunlight. The nails that kept them in place creaked loudly with each step, no matter how gentle they were. Regardless, it seems that the dock was sturdy enough despite its age.
The waves were splashing gently that day, telling you everything you needed to know about how today was going to turn out to be.
You giggled to yourself as you looked at Levi and back to the crystal blue water.
When you reached the end of the dock, you sat down, cross-legged, by the edge. Then, you motioned Levi to sit next to you.
Awkwardly, he obliges, letting his feet hang as he sits down.
“I begged Solomon to teach me this one spell… just watch.” You made eye contact with Levi who was looking at you expectantly. You gave him a small smile, trying to contain your excitement. Then, you let your eyes close as your focus was redirected to the objective you had in mind.
“Spirit of the wind, let my lungs respire and my body steel under your power.”
A blue light glows intensely within you as you take a deep breath in, and fades as you breathe out. The unexplainable sensation of the spell you cast radiates from your chest to your fingertips.
You open your eyes, all your senses returning to reality.
Levi blinks.
“Okay, cool trick and all… but what's the spell for?”
You raise an eyebrow towards your lover before speaking.
“You mean you don't want to experience a day underwater?”
“Huh?!”
“Suit yourself, fish man.” You shrug before launching yourself into the water below you.
“What?! MC, Wait!” His mind was too startled to think about hesitations. Immediately, he jumped in after you. His adrenaline spiked as he looked around to find you, preparing for the worst possible outcome.
He had a delayed realization that you were trying out a spell that could let you breathe underwater, even as you reach the depths of the ocean… at least… if it was executed properly.
He can only vaguely recall how the spell goes as he didn’t need it in his demon form. Because of that, he was too worried over whether or not the spell even worked, stressing over why you acted so rationally.
His worst fears were realized when he saw your limp body halfway through making its way to the ocean floor.
He cursed under his breath multiple times in a state of panic.
With all the strength he could muster, he swam his way to you and caught you in his arms.
Your mouth was slightly open, motioning to the idea that you might’ve already lost breath. He shook your body in an attempt to wake you. But it’s no use.
“MC… fuck… please not like this… it’s too soon… why the hell did you have to go and be so irr—mnn…!”
Suddenly, he feels the slight warmth and softness of lips pressing against his, and a pair of hands snaking their way to his cheeks as they try to pull him in deeper.
Suddenly, his worst fears were unrealized.
You were the first to pull away, giggling playfully as you did.
“A-are you serious right now!? You could have died! ”
“Levi, oh ye of little faith… Do you really think humans are that fragile?” You caressed his cheek, in an attempt to reassure him a little, but he only felt more heated up about the situation, and admittedly, a little flustered from the kiss you shared.
“Yes! Well… n-no… not you… I should’ve known that but— but you should’ve known to test the waters first before jumping into the water like that! Imagine if the spell didn’t work!”
“Levi, this is the spell I wanted to show you. I begged Solomon for literal weeks to teach me and help me master it. You had no idea how many times I had to grin and bear having to go to the beach with him and have him prepare picnic food.”
“I mean… look~! My hard work definitely paid off, and now I can venture with you whenever you want!”
Before he could even argue further, he began to recall the times he would gush over how much he loved the water. Admittedly, they were pretty rare instances, but the fact you even remembered it at all was heartwarming.
The soft-hearted thoughts came to a full stop when he realized…
“Wait, that means you’ve already done this with Solomon… more than once?!”
‘Curse you Solomon, you lucky bastard.’ He thought to himself.
“I mean… he’s the only guy that could teach me the spell in such a short time. I would’ve taught myself but I was a bit overwhelmed with the textbook Satan lent me.
“Why didn’t you ask Satan, then? Not that I want you spending time alone with him either…” Levi asked, mumbling the last bit so you wouldn’t hear it.
“I feel like he’s going to hold it over my head if I do. Like make me do his chores when I get back to the Devildom or help him with an Anti-Lucifer league scheme.” You shuddered at the flashbacks you had, recalling how it ended up with you being strung up by Lucifer at some point.
“Now come on! Let’s go see the ocean! Or—at least— whatever we can see here— or we can just float around, that’s fun too!” You giggled to yourself as you moved around freely, feeling the coolness of the ocean hugging you, and moving against the motions you made. It really did feel like you were floating off the ground.
Quickly, you took Levi’s hand in yours, pulling him as you made your way to the first coral reefs you saw under the waters.
Time passed, allowing you to see all kinds of colorful fishes and reefs. You believed it was luck that allowed you to see such sights, especially how it’s become a rare gem in today’s time. It was as if the universe willed this particular date for the two of you. The thought alone made you feel a bit giddy inside.
Pulling yourself from your thoughts, you turned to Levi and asked him: “So…how was today for you?”
Levi shook his head and smiled, it was as if he was trying to find the best reaction to give you. But at the end of the day, he felt dumbfounded and even more in love with you than he was before… even if he didn’t know it was possible.
He turned to you, fully awestruck. “You’re too amazing. Please don’t make me say more praise unless you want this little otaku to die of embarrassment.”
You giggled, raising your hand like you were taking an oath.
“You have my word.” You replied to him, “consider that as a thank you from me.”
Levi’s eyebrows shifted slightly in confusion “huh… but I didn't really do anything... I just followed your lead today ngl.”
“I know. But it's because of you that I got to fulfill my childhood dream to swim around in the ocean like this. It’s ten times better because I enjoyed it with you.”
He pulled away from your gaze for a moment, you were literally killing him with affection right now. A giggle escaped his lips in response, probably one of the cutest you’ve heard out of him today.
Suddenly, Levi let out a cough and his face shifted into a more serious expression.
“Can we d-do what we did a while ago? Minus m-me freaking out about you almost dying.”
“Which I didn’t,” You said matter-of-factly. Levi didn’t want to argue, nor could he if it was you. He just laughed in response.
“Which you didn’t.” He simply said. In response, you pretended to weigh your options before swimming as fast as you could.
“You’ll have to catch me first!”
Levi couldn’t help but scoff, this was a game of child’s play, and you knew it. So he gave you a little head start. He doesn’t know where this surge of pride came from, he just knew that he wanted to play into your set-to-fail plans.
He wasn’t always great with sports or running, but he was definitely a good swimmer when he wanted to be.
Levi felt his heart trying hard to escape from his chest. The moment he knew the distance was far enough, he made his way towards you. Levi could even feel his heart leaping bounds as you got closer.
But then… He realized, only at the last minute, that he had no clue what to do once he caught you.
Under a millisecond, his mind descended into panic mode. Right before he could think to stop, he had already collided with your body. From there, everything happened in slow motion.
There was something about the water that made how you both tumbled together embarrassing and beautiful at the same time. Perhaps, Levi thought, it was because the two of you seemed to circle around each other forming something close to the motion of a yin-yang symbol.
You were about to burst out in laughter but stopped yourself as you saw that ultra-rare expression on your lover's face, the one he’d hide because he was too shy to show how happy you made him.
The fondness in his eyes shone brightly under the dimness of the ocean. Your heart was beating crazily now, telling you to shower him with as much affection as you could in every kiss.
You obliged, feeling the world around you spin slowly as you did. It was something right out of a magical girl manga, but more. In Levi’s mind, he believed nothing could top the real thing, not even fiction.
“MC… I think I want… to kiss a little bit more…” Even in the depths of the sea, you could tell how much Levi was blushing as he sounded out his wants. The best thing about Levi was how he always expressed his desires shyly. He does his best to gather courage when he feels that he truly needs it. It was his cutest quality and because of that, you smiled.
“You can always have more because you already have all of me.”
His eyes narrowed, trying to hide his giddiness with a cringed expression. You shook your head, you could read him so well.
The two of you kiss again, feeling time and space disappear for the moment. In that moment alone, you were both one with the ocean and one with each other. Feeling what it is to love and be loved, your hearts soared infinitely, as though they were with the breeze.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me imagines#obey me x reader#obey me leviathan#obey me mc#obey me nb#leviathan x reader
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City of Love II - Matt Sturniolo
Part three
Pairings - Matt Sturniolo x fem!Reader Summary - part two of City of Love. Matt makes plans for another dinner-movie night, gifting you a sweet housewarming gift. The sore topic of your previous long-term relationship comes to light, leaving Matt to wonder if you're still stuck on your ex. Warnings - strong language. Fluff!! Angst?? W/c - 2570 A/n - Heyyy lovely readers 🫶🏻 this is part two to City of Love! Let me know what you guys thinks, I will be continuing. Not sure how many parts I'll do yet, but I’ll keep you updated, so stay tuned!! Also, sorry for posting it so late. I had to grocery shopping when I got off work😭 City of Love is based off of this request! ❤️ Check out my masterlist for more of my work! Thank you for reading & interacting! (Dividers and photos are not mine; all credits go to original owners) Tags - @lvrsturniolo (if anyone else wants tagged just let me know!!)
The cool autumn breeze swept through your living room as you sat on the floor, unpacking the few boxes you had. Being a minimalist, you didn’t bring much in the move besides the essentials - dishes, clothes, your bed, bathroom stuff, and a couple random pieces of furniture. You felt like moving to Boston was your calling. A new start. You didn’t want anything in your house that reminded you of the breakup.
It has been more than a few days since your first night here. The night Matt had you pressed against your kitchen counter with his lips on yours. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it at every given second of the day. You and Matt hadn’t even talked about the kiss. Granted, he’s been over every day since, he hasn’t even made a move on you or mentioned that night in your kitchen. This left you feeling like the kiss wasn’t important to him as it was to you. It was like it didn't exist to him, it never happened. Wrecking your brain trying to figure out whether or not he felt the same connection as you felt, left you mentally exhausted, and it had only been four days.
An exaggerated sigh breaks through your lips, and you try to focus on unpacking. You knew you needed to get this done before Matt was supposed to come over. He texted you last night, asking if he could come over for another dinner-movie night. Even if you didn't know what was going on, you enjoyed his company. Packing all your clutter onto an entertainment stand you picked you last night. The 65-inch tv you purchased, along with other things, sits on top of it. Your house was starting to feel more like a home day by day, and Matt had a lot to do with making it feel that way. Constantly checking on you to see if you needed anything and making it a mission to come over every other day. You were grateful for the company; it made the heartache of leaving your best friend and parents behind a little more bearable. You were still upset over the situation. In a way, you felt like you let your ex-boyfriend get the best of you, running you out of town. Deep down inside, you knew it was different - The City of Love held a special place in your heart. You always had a hankering to find a love like your parents had - dancing in the kitchen, singing in the car, kissing in the rain, real, pure love. That’s what you searched for.
It was almost 5pm by the time you finished unpacking the boxes in your living room. You cleaned up your mess, preparing the room for Matt’s arrival. Even though your house was still bare, you wanted it to be somewhat presentable. Fixating on yourself next, you make your way to your hall bathroom, looking over your appearance. You fix your hair and apply chapstick, in case he had the courage to kiss you again. Probably not, but a girl could only hope. A knock at your front door pulls you from the ‘what ifs’ running rampant in your head.
You rush out of the bathroom, not caring to turn the light off behind you, “coming!’
As soon as you reach the door, you swing it open, revealing a nervous Matt. He had a gift basket with various items in one hand, and a potted aloe plant in the other. You take in the sight of him, standing there with his cheeks red as can be. It made you want to jump in his arms and attack him. “Matt!” you gasp, slapping a hand over your mouth.
He lets out a chuckle, “housewarming gift. I have Italian food on the way too,” he states in a nonchalant tone.
“Come in!” your tone being the complete opposite of his, excited and urgent at the same time. You had a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that Matt took the time to buy you a gift. Whether it was a housewarming gift or not, butterflies fluttered in your stomach knowing he thought about you enough to go through the hassle. You had never gotten a random gift before, only on special occasions. Matt steps inside, taking in the small changes of your living room. A newly added entertainment stand in your foyer and living room, along with a fuzzy rug and flat screen tv. The fuzzy rug being the best purchase, you were tired of your butt going numb from the hardwood floors. You follow his gaze, “my couches are in shipment as we speak. They should be here later this week, but I got a fuzzy rug!” you wiggle your eyebrows at him. You felt proud of how quickly you were adjusting to your new life, you were in a good mood.
Matt lets out a real laugh, “good. I’m tired of my ass being numb every time I get up,” he says, taking the thoughts right out of your head. It was simple things like this that convinced you your connection with Matt was something deeper than the surface. He read your mind almost every time you spoke, and it made you wonder if you had the same effect on him.
Turning your attention back to him, “this is really nice of you, Matt.” You didn’t want to let his thoughtful act go unnoticed. You were extremely grateful for everything he has done for you so far, even if it was just keeping you company and buying you dinner.
He clears his throat as you take the gift basket from him, “I know it's late timing, but in my defense i've never had to buy anyone a welcome gift before. My brother Nick helped me pick most of it out, he knows what girls like,” he rambles on. You stare at him for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next. As flustered as you were, you didn’t want to take the cute gift and potted plant as a romantic gesture. It was a housewarming gift, like he said.
“He’s gay so,” he trails on awkwardly. The unneeded information throws you for a loop, making you scrunch your face together. Realizing it seemed judgmental, you quickly correct yourself, “not like that! Gay people are cool, I just wasn’t expecting you to say that,” letting out a nervous giggle. Matt smiles at you like he understood exactly where you were coming from. He was the type to let his facial expressions do the talking before his mouth did, you guys had this in common - like just about everything else you talked about. You change the subject, redirecting your attention to the gift basket. It was filled with a plushie, a throw blanket, a pair of fuzzy socks, face masks, your favorite candy, and a cinnamon apple scented candle. You smiled, knowing he put together the perfect basket for you. “I didn’t know what candy to get so I got my favorite.”
“Yea, y/f/c is my favorite too,” you confess. You feel redness creeping to your cheeks, inch by inch. “Looks like I’ll have to pick up extra on store runs then, huh?” his comment makes your heart race so fast you feel like it could jump out of your chest and run around the block. “Nobody has given me a gift like this before. I really appreciated it,” you mumble, feeling like you exposed too much.
“Nobody?” he asks, astonishment spewing through his voice like a pot boiling over on high heat, “like, ever?”
You break your focus from the thoughtful gift basket to look at him, “like on birthdays and stuff. Not anything like this though.” You felt like you could be honest with him. When he was around, no judgment was casted on you, or at least that’s how you felt.
He lets an, “oh,” fall from his lips. Immediately cringing at his insensitive response, before he can say anything else there’s a loud knock at the door. You head snaps toward the door, furrowing your eyebrows. The ring doorbell still wasn’t set up, so not knowing who was on the other side made you feel uneasy. “Relax, I ordered dinner, remember?” Matt sounds over your shoulder before he approaches the door, pulling it open to reveal a man who looks identical to him. Your eyes widen at the thought of two Matt’s walking this Earth.
'What in the actual fuck is going on?' you thought to yourself.
“They delivered the food to the house again,” the spitting image of him states, in the same nonchalant tone Matt carries with him all the time. Matt thanks him in a dry tone, grabbing the food, and rudely shutting the door in his face. You watch as he brings the food to the living room, clearly thrown off at his brothers, surprise appearance.
You follow him, deciding to address the elephant in the room, “you’re a twin?”
Matt, on his knees, setting dinner on the rug that’s placed in the middle of the room, lets out dry chuckle, “you really don’t know who I am, do you?”
“Should I? Don’t tell me you’re a part of the mafia,” you joke. The sudden change in his mood made your head spin. You didn’t know which looked sexier, mad Matt or happy Matt. Either way, you were here for all of it.
An amused look spreads across his face, “no, nothing like that,” and he lets out one of those real laughs again. Something about that laugh made you smile bigger than you already were. His smile quickly fades as he picks up your tv remote, “come sit. I’ll show you,” you pop a squat next to him, watching him open the youtube app, and type in ‘The Sturniolo Triplets’
“Triplets?” you ask as he clicks the first video that pops up. Him and two spitting images of him pop up on the screen. You stand up pointing to him on the screen, who was sitting in the driver's seat, “this is you?”
“I'm impressed you can tell which one is me,” a smirk pulling at his lips as he gets up, disappearing from the room. You study the screen while he’s gone. They were definitely triplets alright. You could easily recognize the one from earlier sitting in the passenger seat. The one in the backseat seemed like he was a lot more bubbly than Matt was, being he was already yelling 30 seconds into the video. Matt reappears into the room with plates and silverware in his hands. You look at him, “first off, I can’t believe you never told me this, and second off, I can spot your resting bitch face from a mile away.”
Matt erupts in a fit of laughter, making it impossible to not join. Real tears come out of his eyes as he tries to collect himself, “I do not have a resting bitch face, Y/n.”
You smile at him, taking your seat next to him, “whatever floats your boat, Matthew.” Teasing him had become a hobby for you at this moment. You had a feeling Matt knew you enjoyed it, which was the only reason he’d keep it going. Willingly falling into your trap every time he seen it coming. He loved the playful spirit you had, it reminded him a lot of his mom.
You and Matt eat dinner, watching a couple different videos of theirs. Each video he clicked had millions of views, making you wonder how you never put two and two together. It was clear to you he was a famous youtuber with a large following, and it was crystal fucking clear he had millions of girls swooning over him, yourself included. And that intimidated you.
Little did you know, Matt finding out you had no idea who he was, attracted him to you even more.
You groan, setting your plate down, “I’ll throw up if I eat anymore.”
“Leftovers,” he chokes out with a mouth full of food. You watch him as he points to the take-out container, “too good to throw away.” You nod, taking a mental note from earlier; Italian was his favorite. It was your favorite too, so you knew exactly what to cook when the time came, if it did.
After Matt finishes his food, he turns his attention towards you, “you said earlier nobody has ever given you a gift. I need you to elaborate,” he tells you, almost like he's demanding answers. This whole week, you had found out so much about him and told him so little about yourself. Only agreeing with what you had in common, you knew Matt needed more from you, so you finally decided to let your guard down. “Like I said before, birthdays and special occasions, sure. But not random gifts like that,” you tell him honestly, hoping he’d leave it at that.
“No random gifts? What about valentine's day?” he asks, pressing the topic. You let your eyes meet his, shaking your head in response. “So, you’ve never had a boyfriend before?” his question hits too close to home, making you look away. Nervously biting your lip, “I've had a boyfriend before. I actually just got out of a relationship a few months ago,” telling him matter-of-factly.
Matt quickly turns his head to look at the tv, “damn. How long?” he looks at you again. It’s almost like he had to read your face when he was talking to you, but you understood because you felt the same way about him. You shoot him a questioning look, this time telling him to elaborate. He doesn’t say anything, indicating he wants to know whatever you’re comfortable telling him. “Four months since the breakup, together for three years,” you confess, feeling nauseous even saying it.
Matt raises his eyebrows, and you can tell he’s a bit taken back. “Oh,” is all he says. His eyes drift from you, to the tv, and he scrunches his face, realizing he sounded insensitive much like earlier in the night. “I mean, sounds rough. Four months doesn’t seem like enough time to heal from three years,” he tells you quietly, sticking his foot further in his mouth. He wasn’t wrong; four months wasn’t enough time to heal from a three-year long relationship. Matt being there helped more than either of you knew. For the first time, he didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear, instead he told you what you needed to hear. And you’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt your feelings.
“Yeah, well, he checked out a long time ago and so did I,” your tone becomes sharp, not wanting to talk about it anymore. You turn back to the tv, showing him you weren’t talking about it any longer, and hoping he’d take the hint. You watch the rest of the car video playing on your tv, and you can’t help but feel a light sense of tension in the air. Humiliation boiled in your gut, knowing you more-than-likely ruined your chances with Matt. He’d never take you seriously, knowing you were fresh out of a long-term relationship. Matt ends up leaving after the video finishes, giving you an awkward hug goodbye, shooting sparks up your spine like he always does when he touches you.
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