#the memes in the code r the best part

[thememory]

A VERY BIG THANK YOU AND SHOUTOUT TO HAN @cwarscars / @beargraphs FOR THE THEME, PROMO, DASH HEADERS, EVERYTGHDUFHIODFGTHING ON PRIEST.

holy shit it's so beautiful and i am sob.

[attorney-anon]

Hey, I’m a law student and I’m also autistic and ADHD and I was wondering if you have any tips for working in law as a neurodivergent person? I love my course and I can’t wait to work but the 85% unemployment statistic really scares me.

This is a long answer, so I'm going to cut it for the sake of mobile users. I do link some products below; I'm not getting paid, and I'm only linking them because they honestly work for me. Also, as a caveat, a lot of this advice assumes that you're American and/or working in-person at a private law firm; unfortunately, that's my only experience other than a month doing part-time intake for my regional legal aid service.

The biggest hurdle you will meet is the bar exam*: you need a study buddy who does not have ADHD and can help keep you on track. Don't study separately then meet up; do things like watching lecture videos together and keeping pace with one another in person. I'm not ADHD myself, but my best friend and forever study partner is, and she struggled to self-start.

Buy a bar prep course. This is not the time to be a scrooge; don't buy Kaplan just because it's cheaper (it also sucks). Barbri and Themis are both good - of these, use whichever you can get for cheapest or, if the costs are comparable, use Barbri if structure gives you comfort and use Themis if you need some control over the order in which you do things. Also use Themis if humor engages you; the Property and Contracts lecturers are hilarious. Stick to your bar prep program, but be gentle with yourself if you fall behind pace - realistically, you need to get through all the topics at least once, but you don't have to do every practice MPT, every practice essay, and every practice MBE quiz. Use the same study techniques that got you through law school. IMO, useful supplemental tools include the Critical Pass flashcards (get them used if possible, or get a referral code from somebody) and the Finz Multistate Method guide. Do your best to treat the bar exam as a game - because it is one.

There's a strategy for every section, and you should practice these strategies. For the MBE, use the Finz method - it works. For the MEE, or any other essay exam, use IRAC - and make up the R if you need to. The UBE, and most state bar exams, are graded such that you do get more points for knowing the rule, but you can still get points if you make up a reasonable-sounding rule and then apply it correctly. For the MPT, just throw in as many case and rule cites as possible. Try to cite every document you're given.

Join a bar prep FB group if you use FB; I was in Themis Memes for Should-Be-Studying Teens, but I know there's a Barbri group too. I found that being able to laugh at my bar prep course made it less miserable to do it. Don't be afraid to turn the videos on 2x or 0.5x speed - or faster or slower as needed. Some of the Themis lecturers talk to slowly that we went up to 3x; one of them talks so fast I had to slow him down.

Practice for the test in as many different environments as you can. I took the 2020 Pandemic Bar, so my bar was different than standard (I took it in a hotel room with my back to the door and proctors patrolling the hallways, it was mildly traumatizing fun), but I highly recommend getting used to noise while you're taking the test. Your ADHD/Autism hyperfocus will help here - make the bar exam your hyperfixation to the extent possible.

Once you pass the bar exam, your next hurdle will be the job search. You are going to have to mask for interviews, there's just no getting around it, but how much you mask will depend on your area of law. Big Law firms and intense, litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., business lit or criminal law) will expect you to be gregarious, friendly, and charming from the get-go; less litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., probate or family law) will often have more tolerance for quieter, less aggressive types.

Do not panic if you wind up at a less-than-favorable firm on your first or even your second job; a lateral shift between firms won't kill your resume as long as you can give a tactful reason you left (e.g., "I found that I prefer to focus on X instead of Y," or "I found that I had more opportunities to explore X at Y firm, and I am interested in focusing on X"). It is not normal to cry every day after work. It is not normal to routinely have panic attacks in the bathroom.

Once you have a job, billing is going to be difficult unless you gamify it. I use the Finch self-care app, so I have a task at the end of every week to make sure I have billed my time. My friend rewards herself for every day she bills by buying herself a new pen. Some people thrive off of timers (MyCase and Clio are popular case management software programs; both have timers built-in), but if nothing else, simply note when you start tasks and when you finish them by sending e-mails to yourself (or others, if relevant) at the end of every task. If your case management software can integrate with your e-mail (MyCase can integrate with Outlook, for instance), then use that to tag outgoing e-mails so you can be sure each one gets billed.

Outside of Big Law or intense practice areas, very few people bill 8 hours per day - a lot of the work you do will be non-billable, but also you will suffer from exhaustion or burnout if you try to bill 8 hours per day (my minimum is 20 hours per week, which is just 4 hours a day). You also will usually have some discretion in billing - use that to make yourself feel better if inattention issues make something take longer than you feel is fair. As for billing enough, if you find that you are most productive outside of work hours, find a firm that will let you access client files offsite - work at home if they'll let you.

I do a lot of my best billing either in the mornings right when I get to work or at 10:00 at night. That's okay so long as you take breaks during the workday (I watch a lot of TikTok during my breaks, but I also fiddle with various online games and such); you'll need mental rest to reset between cases. If you struggle with task-switching, use a break to help reset your focus. I strongly recommend setting an alarm for yourself during breaks so that time blindness doesn't derail you. Make your alarm kind of annoying; something you won't just mindlessly ignore.

Let yourself hyperfocus on things; all of that time you spend researching and drafting and correcting and perfecting that motion or brief is billable, and it's also good practice of law - your client and your partner will appreciate your thoroughness, and the judge will almost never hate it (some judges prefer brevity, but I've never had a judge upset at me for wordiness).

I also recommend getting apps that can automate things for you; I use Espanso to make my life easier by having easy-to-type shortcuts for common phrases and information (e.g., the current date, my bar card number, my work e-mail address, etc.). You can customize these things to make sense to your own brain - your process doesn't have to work for anyone but you. Similarly, I use macros in Word to make drafting go faster by letting buttons do all my formatting for me.

Excel sheets make excellent task lists because you can split them up by case, and set them up to highlight things (e.g., today's date) automatically. Most firms will have some kind of "docket meeting" where everyone goes over the status on each case - some people prefer handwritten notes (my best friend does), some people prefer digital notes (I have an excel workbook I use). Find a method that reduces distractions but lets you keep up with the flow of conversation.

On the topic of technology, if your firm provides a computer for you, or if your firm will provide accessories to supplement your own computer, push to have multiple monitors - I use my own laptop, but my boss provides monitors and I have two plus my laptop screen. It is WAY easier to keep up with billing if you can keep your time entry software open and visible on one of your screens.

You will be spending a lot of time in your office; make it comfortable. Once you are making enough to get by, invest in a good office chair (that you own, so you can take it with you if you leave the firm) and some basic office supplies that you like, such as a post-it note dispenser (mine is a cat!). My office chair is designed to let me sit cross-legged - I highly recommend having an office chair that matches your most comfortable sitting style. Having some things that are yours will make any future moves less awkward. I also strongly, strongly recommend getting some simple and quietish fidget toys - I have several spinners, wacky tracks, tangles, and clicky fidgets in one of my desk drawers, amongst others, to help me self-stim, as well as a sensory sticker on my desk pad (on the linked set, I have the rough version of the bottom middle sticker, the rainbow finger labyrinth one).

For me, I find that actual litigation requires scripting. Whether it's an oral argument or just a temporary orders hearing, I typically have every word I intend to say written down as much as I can (re-direct examination or re-cross examination can't be scripted before the day of, but I usually at least scrawl a summary of the question I need to ask as I'm taking notes). I don't necessarily read from it, and sometimes I veer off-script, but there is a specific comfort in having the words scripted out. On the few occasions I have ad-libbed things, I find that I come off less authoritative and confident, which gives the judge the impression that I am guessing. I also find comfort in having a copy of the code I need (which is always the Texas Family Code for me) on-hand at the counsel table. You are allowed to tell the judge you'd like to consult the statute when the judge asks you a question.

I also find that, for courtroom litigation, it's worthwhile to make sure your court clothes are comfortable. Courtrooms in my area are universally a little too warm, so I have a linen blazer that breathes and a variety of shell tops that don't have sleeves. I also have bad ankles, so I wear exclusively flats despite the fact that I am less than 5 feet tall. For me, heat sensitivity is a part of my sensory issues so I am all about setting myself up for success. It's also worthwhile to bring extra water bottles; at my firm (we are almost all ND in some regard), the standard is 2 per attorney and 1 for each support staff, then 1 for the client.

For out-of-court days, even "business" can be comfortable if you're a creative shopper. My last firm required business attire, though not necessarily courtroom attire. I wore a lot of dresses to stay cool, and a solid-color dress in a modest cut paired with a black blazer (which you can remove when you're just working in your office) almost always makes the cut. For those who don't like or can't wear dresses, comfortable slacks and a modest blouse or dress shirt, paired with a blazer, also works. My current firm only requires business casual for client meetings, courtroom attire for court, and otherwise as long as we cover our shoulders and don't wear shorts, we're good to go. I use a cardigan to cover my shoulders when I'm outside my office, as most of my blouses are sleeveless. It's worthwhile to invest in a good office sweater anyway; I like a thin t-shirt material cardigan for me, but my officemate uses a pullover knit sweater. Do what's comfortable.

Office meetings, or even court hearings, can sometimes get loud and overstimulating - buy you some Flare Audio Calmer ear inserts, they really do help take some of the 'sharpness' off of the noise. I also recommend a playlist that contains binaural beats (assuming you like them) or colored (white, brown, pink, etc) noise and a solid pair of ANC headphones or earbud, depending on your preference (the linked products are far from the only options, they're just reasonably-priced options that I know work; I personally use first-gen Airpod Pros). If you don't like binaural beats or white noise, instrumentals of pop songs are also excellent.

You can also get phone apps that layer binaural beats over your music - I find that it sometimes helps me calm down when I'm close to a meltdown, though I personally feel worse at the lower frequencies (I usually stay around the alpha-beta frequency line, but ymmv). I think there are probably also some apps for colored noise over your music, but I haven't looked. If you haven't before, I recommend experimenting with binaural beats and/or colored noise - I find that they can help calm down some of the staticky feeling I get from overstimulation.

Offices also sometimes involve other sensory dangers - like, for instance, food texture issues (another big one for me). You can often get out of things like that by simply explaining that the food doesn't agree with you, or that you're not very hungry - or, if your boss knows that you have sensory issues (mine knows I'm autistic), you can just quietly explain that it's a sensory problem and you have it under control. Keep some safe snacks in your office. You can avoid alcohol, if you're picky about it or just don't like it, by explaining that you're not in the mood to drink (or that you don't drink, period) and that you'll stick to soda/tea/water/whatever. Only major assholes will push past that.

Most coping mechanisms for sensory issues can be justified with "I don't feel good" or "I have a headache."

If your office chair hurts your back, get up and walk around. You are not in elementary school; at most firms, you can step out and just let your coworkers know where'/how to find you, and when you'll be back.

For intra-office and extra-office communications, if you have any doubts about the quality of the communication, you can put it in writing afterwards. A quick e-mail saying, "Okay, so this is my understanding of X, please let me know if I've misunderstood anything or if anything changes" is a good CYA to cover any communication difficulties; don't use idioms or shorthand in these e-mails - actually spell out exactly what you think happened, or what you think you've been asked to do.

If you're worried about your tone in written communications, Chat GPT is good at doing a first draft. It can also do a first draft of your attorney bio, if you're asked to write it yourself. Tell it the message you want to convey, and the tone in which you need it said. For instance, if you need to convey to a pro se opposing party that your world does not revolve around them, but you want to do it professionally, you might tell Chat GPT, "Write a professional e-mail to my opposing party conveying that my world does not revolve around them and that I will get to them when I get to them." That won't give you a perfect e-mail, but it gives you an idea of how to set the tone. Never trust any citation the thing gives you, but you can also use it to simplify complex thoughts for motions that you need to be simpler.

Law practice is also emotionally draining. Take the time to cry if you need to, or to go outside or into a breakroom and breathe.

Essentially, working in law when you're ND means finding tools to help you. It's definitely doable (as I said, most of my current firm is ND), but you'll need to find coping mechanisms to soothe yourself. If you've gotten into law school, I think it's clear that you're competent enough to work. The trick is not burning yourself out entirely, which I hope the above can help with.

* - This is not and never will be an endorsement of bar exams as a measure of competence for new attorneys. The bar exam is a racist and classist institution born from the desire of old white men to keep their good-ol'-boys club exclusive. Fuck the NCBE and abolish bar exams nationwide.

[professorsaber]

Fic Author Self-Rec

Share five of your personal favorite works, then tag five authors to do the same. Thank you to @bg-sparrow for tagging me!

1. “Their Song Is Almost Over” (Doctor Who)

Twelve remembered her eventually: Clara Oswald, the woman for whom he nearly burnt the universe. They got their happily ever after. But even the Doctor won't live forever. After thousands and thousands of years, the Doctor’s life comes to its natural end on Earth. This is the story of his passing, and that of Clara Oswald, who was at his side.

This was the first story I ever posted to AO3, I wrote it in a single sitting, it’s epic in scope, it gives a ship that got an at-best bittersweet ending in canon a gloriously happy ending, and I swear it seems to be one of my least popular works! (Seriously, my most popular work has eight times as many hits, and I feel like it’s so half-assed by comparison!)

2. Loose Ends and Loose Memories (Back to the Future)

Upon returning to 1985, Marty McFly finds that he has two sets of memories in his head. While struggling to figure out which set is "right," he finds that someone else remembers his visit to 1955.

I posted three BTTF fics to FF.net years before this one, but I was younger and I feel like this one was such an improvement! I’d grown so much as a writer in the interim. And it’s the first in a series of fics involving events after Part III. Now, as of right now, there are only three fics there, but I have plans. I’ve always wanted to do a series like Kristen Sheley did, and this was a new (and I think, much better) attempt than the one on FF.net

3. “That Isn’t Our Song!” (Doctor Who)

At St. Luke's Bristol, Clara and the Doctor have a musical prank war.

I get few comments on this one, but it’s so silly and I just love it so much. It's an AU of the in-between of Series 9 and Series 10, where immortal!Clara stayed with Twelve and they get up to Shenanigans™ while working “undercover” at St. Luke's University Bristol.

4. “Moving Day” (Back to the Future)

Marty and Jennifer move in together.

When I posted this, it had been two years since I’d written any fics, and five since I’d done a BTTF fic! I’d been stuck trying to finish two different BTTF fics (still am), but when I came up for the idea for this one I was able to break through my total writing block! (For a while anyway; it was a year again before I returned to fic-writing.) Still, I really like this one. Perhaps especially because it focuses a lot on Jennifer, who’s such an enigma in canon.

5. “r/ThePinheads: Guys, Marty McFLy really *is* a time traveller!!!” (Back to the Future)

Did you know that it's a meme that the lead guitarist and vocalist for the rock band The Pinheads, Marty McFly, is a time traveler? Well, some guy on the Pinheads subreddit thinks he's found definitive proof...

This is quite a departure: it’s a fake Reddit page. I’m taking an HTML coding class right now, and it gave me the idea to create an in-universe one. The second “chapter” is a screenshot of the actual page I made! There are a lot of easter eggs in it!

Honorable mention: “I Need You, Now More Than Ever” (Doctor Who).

Escaping a planet after a “date” where everything went horribly wrong, the Doctor and Clara find comfort in each other.

It’s NSFW, and I’m worried about community rules and whatnot so I won’t link directly. It’s also the very first NSFW piece I ever did. And it sat on my harddrive for four years for a single reason: I couldn’t think of a title! I was thinking of it recently when the title came to me suddenly and I had to post it immediately!

I'm tagging @universe-on-her-shoulders, @clara-is-brave, @daryfromthefuture, @bttf-dork, and @cosmicallyavg!

[ravenadottir]

Who out of the S2 cast would be the most well-known, the most successful and who would be forgotten almost as soon as the show ended at the end?

oh i love this ask too much!!!

most well-known, which is not always a good thing

lottie. tantrums and lack of tact with people is what made her unforgettable. for better or for worse people remember her. i reckon they love to hate her. her arc was semi-completed and it's appealing to find someone to hate. lottie is that person. she'll always be remembered (and memed) for the girl code. (kind of like georgia was "i'm honest, babe!")

bobby. popular on the outside since he was everyone's best friend in the villa. even if he doesn't find love i think his dm's are FLOODING with ideas to change that. he's just really sweet and an underdog, the public can't resist that combo.

hope. her couple will maintain its status of "together the longest", even if it didn't work. i also like to think people won't forget her because her presence was so strong and she didn't care about what people said about her in the villa.

lucas. the guy's presence is e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. voted "most iconic intro". if he leaves on day 8 the public accuses producers of arranging that. the flirting, the vocabulary, the LOOKS, how protective he is of henrik 🥺 not to mention the way he threw it right back at gary when the subject was numbers. king behavior!

priya. people still can't believe she left and accuse the show of manipulating the numbers.

gary. mostly remembered by the nan talk, the resourcefulness and the double meaning jokes shot every single second of the day. some people love him, some hate him, but they know who he is.

chelsea. since she was mc's best friend no matter what route you went with she's remembered. will she become a meme? yes! "we all have that one friend that..." but still, people like her.

remembered because they turned into a meme

blake. pfff, i mean listen, i can actually see the public memeing the part where she says "but i just got here" and go crazy with it. it's a use-for-all kind of meme and i would love to see it!

jakub. everyone calls him by the wrong word he learned from the islanders or "sock guy". the sock moment has definitely become the only thing people remember about him.

rocco. ukulele, wonderwall, greasy hair, bro talk, frog something into a drink, you name it. the guy is a walking meme and he'll take advantage of that.

elisa. "i'M aN iNfLuEnCeR" will stay with the public for a long time.

forgotten even before the show ends:

hannah. uhm, i don't have much to say about this one. i know i would forget about her while the show was still going, probably a day or two after she came back.

ibrahim. is he there? yes! is he in people's minds? not until he picks jo and makes a huge mistake. the public often forgets he's there.

marisol. after roccogate, and how she got with graham, that's about it. she fades into the background because she didn't exactly have the strongest presence if it wasn't for the drama. often times i can see people not liking her for her comments about everything.

noah. um... i say that as a stan, if you're not on his route does he exist? "who's noah again?" "hope's bloke."

graham. again, am i wrong? i surely forgot about him from time to time. do i like his looks? yes, but it wasn't enough for me to remember him.

elijah, arjun, carl, kassam (out of their routes). the public could've been confused on the choice of the boys, as we all were.

felix. his butterfly swimming will forever be used as a meme for "hey, it's your crush, act natural" or "i'm felix but life is the water", and that's about it!

forgotten when the show ends

carl. even when he wins, let's be real here, the guy didn't have much of a chance to stand out.

kassam. same as carl, there wasn't enough time or opportunity to flesh out his personality during his journey.

jo. clownery and tom foolery, there's no way people like her, let alone remember fondly. in this case, not remember at all.

henrik. besides switching to blake there's actually nothing that reminds people of him. he's the type that as long as he's on screen people find him adorable, but when he's gone there's nothing people associate him to.

shannon. insanely hot but just as forgettable since the only thing that stood out with her was the fact that she would rather accuse the girl instead of talking it out with the guy. i love her but that wasn't her finest moment.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[a-room-of-my-own]

re your last post about social contagion: on the latest season of drag race, f o u r queens have come out as trans, on the show itself or afterwards. And it has happened before, it's not new, but these are 4 queens of the same season, and they all cite the transwoman dragqueen of their season as an inspiration for their coming out. And everybody's making jokes and memes about it and I'm just baffled. Like I do believe dysphoria is a thing, I do believe transition can be the best solution for some people but it's so uncomfortable watching young gay men (one of the queens who came out is 22 ffs) falling for this. Idk, I guess drag can be a loaded subject when it comes to sexist stereotypes and whatnot, but it's still a huge part of gay culture whose whole purpose is to subvert "gender" and its codes and it's so mind-blowing to me that these men emulating a codified femininity can end up thinking "yup this must means I'm a woman." So sorry for the long rant, but seeing the jokes the drag race audience is making about this is really. something.

It's really sad. I wonder how many well adjusted gay people, who use to feel at ease with who they are, have fallen into the gender rabbit hole, and how many are now in the process of actively hurting themselves with surgery etc. It's just so sad...

[danny-chase]

The Batfam as Tech Majors

AU where Alfred got tired of watching Bruce slap duct tape on the Batmobile and call it good, so he forced the children into college. He makes each of them complete an internship with Lucius in R and D so they have better knowledge of how the devices that their lives depend on work. Majors/minors/tropes under cut.

Dick:

Mechanical Engineering Major

He was in undeclared engineering for as long as possible

He settled on mechanical because it seemed the most broad

Plus he joined a car club, loved it, and there were a ton of MechE’s there

He ends up taking credit overloads most semesters because he always finds 1-3 random classes that he wants to take

Despite taking everything from advanced computer science classes (he somehow convinces even the most intense professors to let him into their classes) to hyper specific phycology classes, he doesn’t have any minors to show for it

He just gets bored with the subject after a couple classes

This gives him a bunch of random knowledge

When he talks to his younger siblings about classes, somehow he’s always managed to take at least one that they’re in, and offers advice.

He has the best RA stories. He most certainly did not need to be an RA. But the school was hurting for them and he thought it would be fun.

His residents loved him, but that didn’t stop them from playing beer pong in the common spaces at 3am.

He founds a circus arts club after his residents pull up information about his past and get overly excited about it

Specifically, he finds out they know about his past, because one of them decided it was a good idea to try and juggle knives, and because he’d prefer there not to be any additional bloodstains on the carpet he decides to start the club

He nearly graduated late because he forgot he needed to take specific classes for his major

Barbara: 

Computer Science/Math duel Major

She’s a TA for Comp Sci 1, all the students fight to get her help because she’s amazing at spotting bugs and is super patient

Somehow she’s the president of 3 clubs and is on student senate

She’s the curve breaker

She gets homework assignments meant to take a week done the day they’re assigned

She and Dick went to a single party together, stayed for five minutes, decided it was too loud, and went to get ice cream

Along with her club, she’s in professional organizations, and is part of a women in STEM mentoring program

She started a petition to get more wheel chair ramps installed. Half the buildings are protected under some “historical grounds” bs that’s an excuse for not being accommodating

The petition didn’t go anywhere at first, but it was widely shared on social media and made the school look horrible, so they implemented some of her proposals

Jason:

Philosophy/Cognitive Science duel Major

He gets asked “There’s a philosophy major?” every time he has to do one of those stupid what’s your name and major icebreakers

Jason lives in the library

He’s fallen asleep in there at 3am after it gets locked up

He quotes philosophers at his siblings when they’re being annoying, and it effectively shuts them up, because he only quotes the most nonsensical arguments

He gets involved with the college’s community outreach program

He volunteers for a local robotics team

When people find out his majors, they’re genuinely confused, because he understands robotics really well

He lies his ass off about being really interested in it as a child

Dick convinced him to be an RA for a semester, and he almost had a heart attack

Someone choked in front of him on the first day

Despite seeming like a tough RA, he genuinely cared about his residents and had to quit because he was so stressed out that one of them would do something stupid and die

Cass:

Innovation/Design Major

She’s really observant, so she’s great at spotting flaws in infrastructure and coming up with ways to fix them

Spending time with Barbara made her realize the lack of systems designed with wheelchair users in mind

Her experience being illiterate and not knowing English has imprinted on her the need for signage that can be understood by anyone

She focuses on taking project based classes, where she can draw out her designs and build them, rather than figuring out the math behind them

She has patents for the inventions she created at WE

She was exempted from the “Alfred’s mandatory college degree program” but decided to go as a part time student for herself

It took her twice as long to graduate, and a lot of tutoring from her siblings, but she made it!

The family threw her an extra special party when she graduated - everyone else had minor celebratory dinners, but they went all out for Cass

There was not a dry eye at her graduation ceremony

Cass works part time with WE on and off as a designer after her first internship

She comes up with ideas during patrols, draws them and sends them to Lucius

Tim:

Computer Science Major with a minor in game design

He makes it to approximately 20% of his lectures

He nearly didn’t graduate on time because he put off his humanity courses for so long

He missed the actual ceremony, even though the family showed up

He starts all his assignments the day before they’re due

If at all possible he avoids groupwork and offers to do assignments by himself because he gives his teammates heart attacks when he starts his part the project at 3pm the day before it’s due

This leads to extremely frequent all-nighters

He always finds himself rewriting everyone else’s code to make it work more efficiently

This can, of course, cause some people to feel a little upset

Other students specifically seek him out as a teammate so they can half ass their parts

He participates in game jams when he has time, and got super into the hacking club

Against all odds, he joined a fraternity

Dick literally fell off a building when he found out

He makes up stories about partying for the heck of it, when in reality he and the guys just play Smash Bros together until 3am

He hasn’t seen anyone drink more than two beers, and he hasn’t tried alcohol there either

He joined on accident, he had just pulled an all-nighter and stumbled into a recruiting fair, he heard someone shouting about Mario Kart Double Dash, and bada bing bada boom, he agreed to rush because it involved being stuck in a room playing video games all weekend

Steph:

Civil Engineering Major with minors in Sustainability and STSS (Science, Technology, and Social Science) 

She gets constantly shit on for being a civie

Every time she introduces herself someone mumbles “fake mechie” in the background

She and Jason complain about the disrespect together

She was genuinely shocked when Bruce offered to pay for her college tuition

She’d been planning on going and cutting costs any way possible

But Bruce took her aside when she was applying and offered to pay it all

She refused at first, but then money just appeared in her bank account, and what was she supposed to do, give it back?

She also participates in professional groups and is a member of SWE (Society of Women Engineers), and she mentors younger students

She ends up as class president by running a very successful social media meme campaign

She got and email saying she’d won and panicked because she had no idea what she was doing and was just having fun making memes

She ended up staying class president the entire time, and ended up getting really into it, and ended up with a pretty solid approval rating

She joined a sorority and had a blast

They worked with the local animal shelter, and she started bringing Damian along as well

Her sisters think he’s adorable and he secretly enjoys the attention

She gets her revenge on all the civil engineering haters by landing her dream job redesigning the poorer areas of Gotham to include more green spaces, increase affordable housing, and upgrading access to utilities

Duke:

Biochemisty Major with a minor in Neuroscience 

Harper, Tim, Steph, and him are all in the same year

Tim convinces him to join the fraternity with him

He joins a variety of professional groups as well

He mentors other BIPOC, and joins NSBE (National Society of Black Engineers) and runs helps run professional development programs

But he’s also in like million other clubs that he does not put on his resume

He’s runs the college’s meme page club, is part of the Pokémon Go club, is on the competitive Overwatch team, consistently attends the anime club’s Dragon Ball Z watch parties, joins the Dance Dance Revolution club, and the list goes on and on

When Tim is awake, and Harper isn’t busy, they go with him, but both of them have too much inconsistencies in their schedule to join

He ends up meeting like half the campus

He unintentionally has become a god of networking

Unlike his siblings, he goes all the way for a doctorate

He researches Joker venom, determined to figure out a cure for his parents (in my HC, he eventually does)

He wins like every award imaginable for his groundbreaking research into venoms as he comes up with vaccines that save countless lives

He still works on the meme page, even after he graduates

Harper:

She somehow defies all odds and triple majors in Physics, Mechanical Engineering, and Electrical Engineering

She takes credit overload every semester, and gets credit for her internships at WE

She and Steph were roommates freshman year, and Steph swears that Harper never sleeps

She is the most wanted partner for every engineering project

She thrives in college, and lives off of coffee

She’s in the front row in every lecture

She doesn’t leave the lecture halls, she’s gotten locked in more than once after falling asleep

She had a heart attack the first time she saw students using the machine shop

Half the students weren’t wearing safety glasses, she counted three people wearing slides, the machines were rusted over, the soldering irons were all broken, and she nearly watched someone break their wrist using a power drill

She refuses to work there

Her secret to success is prioritizing - she absorbs the material like a sponge so if homework is only worth 5%, it isn’t getting done, and she’ll just cram before the exam

She almost joined Tim and Duke’s frat (it’s co-ed), but she didn’t have the time

They let her in without rushing senior year because Tim ended up as the boss, and he said so

Cullen:

I don’t know a ton about Cullen, but I feel like he would be a comp sci major

He comes in when Harper, Tim, Duke, and Steph are upperclassmen, and he joins all of Duke’s clubs

They have a million inside jokes

To the other siblings, it seems like the two have their own language

He also joins a club that mentors LGTBQ+ students at the local high school, and encourages them to pursue STEM careers if they’re interested

Jason recruits him as a mentor for the robotics team (he’s the lead mentor at this point) after some of the kids in his mentoring program mention him at a meeting and Jason is like O.O

He avoids parties at all costs, and ends up joining the frat as well

It’s all Duke’s fault he’s in a frat

He does however, meet some lovely boys in the frat

Damian: 

Aerospace Engineering/Environmental Engineering dual Major with minors in sustainability and biology

He nearly riots when he’s presented with the college’s idea of a vegetarian/vegan meal

He manages to get out of the meal plan after that, and begins rallying students to push for better options that contain actual protein

He joins a community service club that works with the local animal shelter, and secretly joins the circus arts club (that’s thriving even without Dick there)

He learns how to sew blankets out of old clothes for the animals

He and Barbara are the only siblings to graduate with a 4.0, simply because they were the only one that took the time to actually do all the homework, and remembered to turn things in on time

He refuses to live in the dorms, and instead lives in one of their apartments nearby (once again somehow managing to complain to the college enough to get his housing waived)

He literally walked in once when visiting Duke, and immediately walked out, and resolved never to step near one again

He makes a total of three friends while at the school, both are in the animal shelter club

They exchange vegetarian/vegan recipes, and get together to cook

He decides to move off campus with them his junior year when they needed another roommate, and he won’t admit it to his siblings, but he had a ton of fun

He and his friend group may have joined an animal rights hacktivist group and may have helped orchestrate some major hacks

Poisson Ivy finds out and feeds him targets and information when they’re supposed to be fighting (she just walks back to Arkham if the others aren’t watching, and slips him a list at the end)

Bonus Bruce:

He cries at every graduation

He’s asked to make a speech at every graduation

He never does - it’s about his kids, not him

He single handedly is keeping the school from bankruptcy - not that any of his kids (other than probably Barbara) know

He sobbed for days after Cass graduated

He genuinely didn’t expect Dick or Tim to graduate

After Dick graduated, he wouldn’t let Bruce touch any of the equipment, and the rest of his kids followed suit

He isn’t actually bad at engineering, his education was just super informal, and hey duct tape works 95% of the time in his experience

The real reason Alfred was annoyed was because he refused to take the time to properly fix something if someone was in danger, and then he’d forget that he’d just used duct tape to patch something

But now since no one lets him touch anything, he’s genuinely lost a lot of the knowledge

But in a pinch, he can fix stuff

[astringofmadhousefloozies]

Magicam Live

Vil’s guest is a pest. Contains coarse language, people being catty bitches, and more telling than showing.

You want more, check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag. If you liked it, let me know!

~*~*~*~

Transcript of Last Week's Magicam Live From *schoenheit_official

Vil: Hello my dearest fans! As promised, I will be showing off my newest capsule makeup collection, to be released this Monday exclusively at Feathersweep Cosmetics. However, due to high demand, instead of simply demonstrating on myself, I thought I would show that anyone could be half as beautiful as me with these!

[He holds a hand out to the side.]

V: Please welcome my fellow student at Night's Raven College, Yuu.

Yuu: Yo.

[A girl with short, dark hair and tired eyes sits down beside him. Spotty and plump, with a notable double chin. She's notably underdressed, compared to Vil.]

Y: I am she. I'm *donegotisekaid, if you haven't seen yet. Full of genuine memes from another universe, as well as me figuring this place out, and pictures of my not-cat.

V: She's simply been begging me for a makeover!

Y: He asked me if I'd do it, actually.

[Vil stops and takes a deep breath, clearly irritated.]

V: Yes, well. You've prepared?

Y: I scrubbed my face real good and managed to leave most of my pimples alone, if that's what you mean.

[Vil sighs]

V: As much as you're capable of, clearly. We'll start with the primer.

Y: [with a smile] Didn't you already give me one on how to act in this?

[Vil pinched the bridge of his nose, regret pouring from every cell in his body.]

V: Just lie back and be quiet until I'm done with you.

[Yuu looks at the camera, but says nothing. There's an audible snicker from behind the camera.]

[There are a few quiet minutes where Vil prepares her face, before selecting a foundation.]

V: So, is there a reason you don't wear makeup? You could look quite nice with it.

Y: Few reasons. It's a lot of effort, and I tire easily. I don't really like the feel of it on my face, and I tend to touch my face a lot anyways, so it doesn't last. It's a lot of money, and I break out very easily.

V: I can see that. Don't you use face wash?

Y: You should have seen me when I did use it! Much worse.

V: Ugh. I'll give you something later. And none of these have a good tone for you.

Y: Just pick the closest! I'll end up wrecking it by a few hours from now anyways.

[Vil rolled his eyes.]

V: Rook, any questions from the chat?

[A familiar accented voice from offscreen]

Rook: *stellargems wants to know how Yuu found herself at NRC.

Y: Transdimensional bullshit. I'm here until we figure out how I can get home. It's not bad, I don't miss it much.

V: Yuu even has her own dorm so she doesn't have to bother anyone.

Y: Not that it stops me.

V: [sotto voce] Don't we all know.

Y: If they kept you in a building with four usable rooms total and no electricity, you'd be out and about too. At least the ghosts there are really nice and help me out.

V: Do you kiss these ones too, or was that a one time thing?

Y: If I hadn't kissed her we'd be down a student and you and half the people I hang out with would be paralyzed, so don't make fun.

[Vil stops to regard the camera.]

V: To clarify, there was an incident with a ghost princess causing a lot of trouble at the school a few months ago. Yuu decided to kiss her to fix everything, because she's both stupid and deeply strange.

Y: It was really fun until I started dying.

V: All her blood was on the outside. It was disgusting.

Y: It did work though!

V: Keep telling yourself that, you didn't kiss the one you really wanted to.

[Yuu gives him the finger, and Vil shoves her hand down.]

R: *vilpleasefathermychildren asks-

[Yuu sputters with laughter. Vil just winks at the camera with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.]

R: They want to know if there'll be a coupon code for the new release.

V: There will! It'll be released via the official fanclub email Sunday night.

Y: It'll be a whole three percent off and you have to pay to access it.

V: Stop that.

Y: [sweetly] No.

Rook: *getterbackback wants to know what your shirt says?

Y: Yeah, hold on.

[She stands and pulls the shirt out to be seen better. It says in large letters, I'M CUTE AND I BITE]

Y: You can do one yourself if you take a dark shirt, tape the parts you want covered, and scorch the area around it with diluted bleach. I've done a few of these, a few designs more than once.

V: Destroyed them?

Y: Nah, Lil wants at least one of every one I do.

V: [to the camera] That would be our fellow student Lilia Vanrouge, from Diasomnia.

Y: He's pretty great. He's *elderbatbrat if you want to look him up.

V: Sit back down so I can figure out which blush to use.

Y: Pinks and corals work best for my skin tone.

V: I thought you didn't wear makeup?

Y: Why do you think I know wearing it tires me out? It's not something I ever did a lot because of the effort.

Y: Except for highlighter. it's basically sparkles and it's light, so I like that.

V: You remember that, but not your proper name?

Y: Ain't life grand.

R: I'm getting several questions about that. Would you care to elabourate for the chat?

Y: Yeah. I don't remember a lot about where I'm from. Culturally? Lots. What I like? What I don't like? Everything. Names and places specific to who I was? No. And don't ask me to think about it too hard, I get the worst fucking headache and I stop seeing right.

V: You've never seen right in your life.

Y: Oh, fuck off, Vil.

[Vil stops blushing one cheek to point.]

V: Stop that.

[Yuu responds by biting at his finger with an audible click when her teeth meet, laughing hysterically as Vil pulls back in shock.]

V: !!! Dreadful little monster!

Y: Yeah, but you're the one who thought you'd get more views if I was here.

R: We indeed just surged another 20,000 views and counting! Excellent work, Yuu.

Y: Thank you, Rook.

[Vil looks ready to explode.]

Y: I won't bite again, that was just too easy. Please continue, I do want to see what magic you can do.

V: This is regular makeup.

Y: Metaphorically, you jackass. 

R: *rosemassacre wants to know if you're always like this.

V: She's always this horrible.

Y: Vil first saw me and called me a dumpy little potato. I told him it's because I'm great all ways and everyone wants a taste, and slapped my ass at him. He's been obsessed with me ever since.

V: I am not obsessed with you.

R: You go into a rage over her at least once a week.

V:  She can't go a week without being a pest.

Y: I went three after you kicked me out of the movie club.

V: You can't just project violence on the walls of Pomfiore because I said we weren't going to watch it!

Y: Vil, it was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and it is art.

V: A man gets sawed in half in the first ten minutes.

Y: To an absolutely bangin' soundtrack. Oh that reminds me. Ad time, hold on.

[She wiggles a little before puting on her best customer service face.]

Y: If you want to access media that is quite literally from another world, please go to MonstroMedia dot com and sign up! There's ebooks, movies, tv, music, and more. Much of it is horror, sci-fi and fantasy, as it's from my person collection of media brought with me on my laptop and backup drives. You can use the code SHOENHEITSAYSWHAT for the first month free!

[She put her hand up and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial tone.]

Y: I completely understand piracy, but I'd appreciate if you paid because this is the only way I get spending money, and I can only bat my eyes at these boys so much before they expect something in return for gifts.

V: How'd Ashengrotto talk you into that one?

Y: He was going to make me start paying for all the food I eat if I didn't.

R: *waterwitchesbetgitches says, and I quote, "so like if ur the only gal at NRC how many boyfs you have"

Y: So many. At least twenty. Even more if there were girls here.

V: That is a gross exaggeration. She has maybe three, if we're being very generous on the definition.

Y: [points] And he's mad he's not one of them.

V: [squinting] You are absolutely dreadful and I can't understand how you're so popular.

Y: I like you too, Vil.

[Vil pauses, visibly taken aback.]

V: ... Thank you.

V: You know you're going to have paparazzi on your tail now, right?

Y: Aw, shit.

R: *insertmagicamhandlehere wants to know what's on your neck.

V: An antique chain with an attached charm specially made for me by Soleil Atelier.

R: I believe that was for Yuu.

[Yuu snickers, as Vil looks for himself. When her collar is pulled down, it fully reveals a vicious set of hickeys with visible toothmarks.]

V: Eww.

Y: You should see the other guy.

V: Eww!

[Vil takes a moment to recover, while Yuu laughs.]

Y: That could be a second part! Everyone needs that tutorial. "Bruise Coverup How-to by Vil Shoenheit: For when you just can't keep them off of you."

[Vil mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "nerds shouldn't be allowed to fuck"]

Y: Then where would your fans be?

V: At least there's only setting spray after this and then you can leave.

Y: Won't you get bored without me here?

R: One last question! *shroudstreaming has asked... well, there's a lengthy keysmash and an all-caps "why".

Y: Ah. Hi, babe!

Y: Hey, everyone go follow him, he's a total fucking babe and he refuses to take my word for it, no matter what I do to him-

[Vil sprays setting spray directly in her face, leading to Yuu coughing.]

V: No taste at all, and gross to boot. 

Y: Asshole.

[Vil offers a mirror]

V: No. Miracle worker.

[Yuu looks... well, the same, but with an even, well made-up face.]

Y: ... Aww. You remembered I like sparkles.

V: Less likely to scrub it off if you actually like it.

[Yuu's admiring herself for a few moments in silence, with Vil watching, quite pleased.]

Y: Hey, can I do you next?

V: Absolutely not.

Y: Ask the chat.

V: No.

R: Chat says yes.

V: [With a visible eye roll] Ugh, fine. 

Y: Aight. Take your shirt off.

V: What.

[Yuu brings up a case and flips it open. Inside is a magazine with a gory cover, and various things like fake blood and liquid latex.]

Y: Alright kiddies. You wanna learn how to slit a man's throat?

[Vil gets up and walks away without another word.]

Y: You said I could! Get back here!

[Yuu follows. Rook emerges from behind the camera.]

R: That's it for tonight, ma belles. Next time.

[Magicam Live ends, but not before audible yelling and scuffling, quickly cut off.]

[more-than-a-princess]

@awesomeuchuu asked: What is on your wishlist?

Mun Questions - Accepting!

This goes along with some of the themes I enjoy writing, but here’s some things I haven’t written in awhile or haven’t had the pleasure to write at all:

- Meeting more royals/royal relationships. Sonia hardly ever falls for someone who’s part of the nobility because they tend to disappoint her. She also doesn’t have too many royal friends for the same reason. I’d love to give her more of them!

- Bridgerton AU Bridgerton AU Bridgerton AU yes I will spam it until I get it. Also: interacting with Bridgerton and other historical drama muses. There’s so much opportunity for drama and scandal in a social season!

- More otome muses please. I love Code: Realize. I also love a lot of other otome games.

- Spirit Hunter muses. I’m going to play Death Mark shortly. Please throw your Spirit Hunter muses at Sonia (she adores spending time with/bothering/(let’s be real) crushing on @causalitylinked​ ‘s Akira but she will happily befriend/annoy others)

- Post-DR2/DR3 anime threads. Preferably with DR canons but OCs/crossovers work as long as there’s a reasonable backstory for them. I’d -love- to see more muses as part of the Future Foundation and not necessarily a former Remnant of Despair!

- Give Sonia more child muses to interact with please. I may be biased as I’m getting into Spy x Family (manga, not the anime yet, and I have awhile to catch up but Anya is precious). 

- Hope’s Peak High School Reunion. In non-despair preferably. I like this one especially with canons because I love seeing how these characters changed/evolved/survived past high school. Was high school the best time of their lives or did they achieve greatness/happiness/success outside of it? Definitely great for those “I had a crush on you in high school but nothing ever came of it” dynamics and “We had a giant fight during third year and never spoke again after graduation, maybe we should mend fences now?” dynamics.

- For someone with a fitting muse who doesn’t mind a more concrete plot, I’d love to use the time travel dynamics in Outlander and send Sonia back in time to try and survive.

- Bodyguard/staff/knight + the princess they’re protecting. Always a fave.

- lower class/rough/brash/callous or sarcastic/joking/flirty muses and the princess who isn’t phased by it...until she is.

- Sonia losing her father at a young age and having to assume the throne in a non-despair scenario. Here, she didn’t kill him: he was either killed by someone else, killed in an accident, or succumbed to an illness. Either way, she doesn’t feel ready to take the throne.

- Sonia/Gundham romantic ship. I miss writing it. 

- Slow-burn romance in general. As the meme says, it’s about the Y E A R N I N G.

And for the right muse/dynamic, Sonia’s TalentSwap!verse. Which isn’t for the faint of heart.

[meursaulty]

saunters sauntuly in here... using that questionaire to learn more abt everybodies wizzies... here r my questions abt urs..

- does your wizard have a primary school? secondary school?

- does your wizard travel alone or with a group?

- what do they think about forbidden magics? should it be taught?

- how do they generally get along with most npcs? do they have favorites, or a best friend?

for all ur wizards!!

hiiiii so i technically have three wizards but i basically made the first a self insert because i did not think i would still be playing this game by now... so i will focus answers on my two actual characters. this is kinda long bc it's the first time im talking about them here so i gotta give context:

does your wizard have a primary school? secondary school?

- scarlet is my main death wiz. the story about her primary school is actually kinda funny, bc i made my current wiz acc in 2016 after my old one was banned (chargeback 😤). BUT i didn't use it until last year and thought she was a fire like my og character?? so then i logged in and it was like "welcome to the death school" after i named her scarlet and dressed her all in red 😀

- roslyn is a storm, and samuel is a life. nothing special behind those stories (at least not ones that wouldn't extend this answer by way too much)

- and i don't use secondary schools to characterize bc i am lazy..... but maybe i should

does your wizard travel alone or with a group?

- scarlet goes alone, bc i keep her story adherent to canon

- but roslyn and samuel. oh god. most annoying saviors ever. the deal with them is that ambrose sends them around the spiral as a team. the thing is... they are both wolf stormblades and just refuse to cooperate and only make it to dragonspyre through pure luck... in ds the gravity of the situation finally hits them, and they don't really talk again until celestia. but arc 1 and the time between dragonspyre/celestia gave them a lot of time to grow up. i could write a whole essay on this, but to keep it short, they are besties by end of arc 2 lol

what do they think about forbidden magics? should it be taught?

- i assume this refers to shadow magic? and tbh only scarlet has gotten that far in game, but roslyn and samuel are on the same page that it needs to be studied more, but that it can be seriously dangerous (reverie: the shadow in your heart twists your dreams) and not taught at places like ravenwood. maybe the history/theories, but not the spells. just enough to sate curiosity and avoid morganthe 2.0

- although roslyn is a less firm on this position. she's from marleybone (where there's no magic, according to wethersfield) and ravenwood is the best thing that could have happened to her (see next q), so she isn't sure how she feels being on the side for its containment

how do they generally get along with most npcs? do they have favorites, or a best friend?

- ok so i need to give some bkg on roslyn and samuel.

- roslyn is from the streets of marleybone. think victorian street urchin. part of a band of children with a strict code of honor. so she gets along fine with the npcs (if they don't to anything to change her mind...ahem giles in empyrea), but she would really get on with the hoods in mirage

- samuel is from a wealthy family in karamelle. think nepotism baby. set to take over his family's part of nana's when he's older. he's very aloof and haughty at first and doesn't really care about the npcs. but like i said in #2, both he and roslyn mellow out after realizing that they're part of something much larger than either of them

- but as for best friends... they are (eventually) each other's lol. this is actually great timing for this q bc i was up at like 3am last night drawing after seeing a vision of this meme in my minds eye

[unironicduncanstan]

the “Tangodeltaindia” blog explained,

aka my brain has cringe spots on it and needs to be inspected by the FDA

hi my names randi/uni and i created a total drama island themed ARG two months ago on a whim that almost no one interacted with bc i started off way too niche and difficult, so i kinda just went increasingly off the rails because i knew most likely no one was monitoring my posts and i could just make a real cursed hidden tomb that could one day be discovered by someone in a goonies esque unveiling. but then i got lice and now im sad and uncomfortable so i’m just gonna explain the entire damn thing in one shot. its absolutely batshit and theres a reason no one uncovered it ok here we go;;;

first of all the name. its so stupid but. ‘tango delta india’ = ‘tdi’ in the NATO phonetic alphabet. it just felt like a funny place to start that implies its gonna be a puzzle blog idk,

moving on to the actual content tho; some of the earlier posts mean p much nothing and were just an attempt to draw people in, such as the mr coconut ‘like if you agree’ or the ‘let him inside hes cold’ posts. 

then theres the cipher (x). it was posted shortly after the height of the ‘using total drama reference pictures to make an alphabet’ meme. in case anybody didnt see that; for a while it was a joke in the fandom to take the transparent references of total drama characters, and line them up, using them like hieroglyphics to make translatable pictures. its supposed to correspond to the alphabet, based on the first letter of their first name. an example could be, alejandro = a, bridgette = b, and so on. there was no solidly set alphabet amongst the fandom though, it was self explanatory most of the time so i made my own solid personal cipher key for that blog to make the whole thing easier.

NOW ONTO THE FIRST PUZZLE POST,,,, (x). theres a scene, a string of text, the cipher key, and a link to a decoder. the way to decode it all is to plug the characters on screen into the tangodeltaindia cipher key, and then plug That translation into the decoder website, and then finally paste in the text under the photo. 

the website linked is to a Caesar cipher decoder. the Caesar cipher is just a code where the alphabet is assigned to numbers (a=1, z=26), and to encode something with it you can move this pattern however you want as long as you keep the regular sequence of alphabet and numbers. so you could scootch over One letter, and “abc” would now say “bcd”. so on and so forth.

looking at the scene + my own total drama reference cipher, alejandro = A, and the beaver = 1, which gives A1. so you could now follow the link to the website, press ‘decode’, and paste in the text under the picture. the ‘shift’ in the middle is automatically set to ‘7′, or as it shows, a -> h, meaning ‘a’ has been moved over by 7 letters. so if you set the shift to just 1 over, or A1, now you can translate the text. it reads;

“lets start simple. after all, a trail of breadcrumbs begins with a loaf. whats the harm in another long winded fandom meme. another inside joke. and arent you curious whats truly lurking inside?”

edgy! simple! kinda just a test to see if people would do it or not. which they didnt so of course i tried to make it weirder-

puzzle 2; (x) using the exact same translation rules as above. we have alejandro and the snake, which with the tangodeltaindia cipher key means A6. going to the website, putting it in ‘decode’ mode, pasting in your text, and setting the shift to ‘6′ gives you this translation.

“in his eyes are an island. nothing but a dream, born out of going to bed angry. sink or swim.”

this was just hinting around at where the story was gonna go so it’ll make more sense later. something else to note; if you zoom all the way in and look into alejandros eye (’in his eyes’), you’ll see the word ‘Thera’. ~thats a surprise tool that will help us later~

so after this one, there are two non-puzzle posts that are also just hints (i was just tryna see if i could get people hyped), the first is a close up picture of chris with red eyes that simply says “those arent his eyes”, and then a post that says “his real names not chris :)”, they’re again referencing his eyes, and this time further implying theres something fake or wrong about them, or with chris as a person. again, it’ll be explained better later on.

moving on to puzzle 3 (x), another test to see if anyones keeping up (which also failed josdfjsdfkjs), using the same translation rules, dj = a dash or minus, and the snail = 5, “-5″, shift the letter ‘A’ BACK five instead of forward, and you get the simple translation of; “getting harder now.”

puzzle 4 and 5; at this point, there are two images posted within hours of each other that i’ll explain together as they line up. (x) (x)

These are some of the only ones that can be translated from just the tangodeltaindia key directly. They end up a string of numbers, which are latitude and longitude coordinates. The first post, labelled “the lie”, translates into “45.57394802102744, -81.46817207492494″. googling that will take you to maps and show you to a place called Lonely Island in Canada.

The second one, “the truth”, translates into “36.404663113177534, 25.39605673375295″, taking you to Santorini, Greece.

This is where the hints got really out there bc i realized nobody was following along but i still wanted to paint a picture. so this is the set up;;; the idea that the ‘island’ (camp wawanakwa) existing somewhere in canada, is a lie. the ‘true’ location being santorini isnt meant to be taken at face value though. the mythology behind santorini is that a man impregnated a goddess and to escape the wrath of her father (triton), she formed the island (santorini) by having her lover throw clay into the sea, and then she gave birth to her son, Theras, on this island, giving the island it’s Other nickname, Thera.

this is again just a vague implication that the island might not be real at all, or that it was formed through cosmic means.

the next two posts are more non-puzzle hints, the first showing the definition of the word ‘fresh’ (new), and the second being images of total drama backgrounds with no characters and the text reading “they were always empty.” more, admittedly very outlandish implications that the island is some kind of illusion, but again mostly just another try to drag people into the blog.

puzzle 6. (x) this one introduces a new concept to the regular translation rules, some of the characters are laying down. its kinda supposed to imply they’re “dead” and that you need to take their corresponding letters out of the alphabet given on the Caesar cipher page, below the shift. The upright characters translate to “-9″, so you shift ‘A’ back 9 letters. Then remove the letters; “TH-E-R-A-S”, and with those letters taken out, you can finally translate the text.

“he creates life solely to destroy it. to crush it in his hands. he births chaos so that he may have something to control. the power has given him madness. the isolation, arrogance. don't try to stop him, he's already chosen to be unstoppable. his mind is a perfectly crafted prison, one we will all soon be living in.”

this is where the story gets more on the nose. it’s talking about chris, and about him being an unstoppable cosmic force, a diety who can create worlds within his own mind, and he does so maliciously just for power. hes created the campers through mental energy just to torment them. it also hints that his plan is to expand the world of total drama island and engulf the whole universe.

puzzle 7. (x) same as the last puzzle. beaver and moose translate to ‘1-0′ or ten. the characters lying down to remove from the caesar cipher alphabet are “T-U-L-P-A”. this doesnt have anything to do with the modern way some ppl interact with tulpas but just the actual idea of creating thoughtforms, or willing your thoughts into real life creations, referencing how chris has created the entire island and everyone on it solely through his mind. with those letters removed and the shift set forward 10, you get this:

“his psychic power is unfathomable. the reality he bore was just a passing thought. an idea that became so dangerous. he predates the idea of a mind, the minds own ability to recognize itself, his synapses are paradoxically ancient. the island exists only within himself, to torment the souls hes created, and damned from the start. will they ever be free?”

it states that chris is more than a man or even just a diety, hes an all powerful god already, yet he craves more power. the final line, “will they ever be free” is in reference to the campers, which segways into the next arc;;; freeing the campers from chris’ psychic island imprisonment.

puzzle 8. (x) to solve this one you have to translate the top image with the tangodeltaindia cipher key, and add it to the text given, which creates a link. this leads to a PDF, a page from a book written by terence mckenna. he’s a famous ethnobotanist known best for his studies on DMT, the strongest hallucinogenic drug in the world, its also known as the spirit molecule. many people on this drug (without any prior knowledge of this phenomenon) will recount meeting strange fractal beings that can create things in the universe just by speaking them into existence, theyve come to be known as ‘machine elves’, a term coined by mckenna. ill show the most important excerpt from the page;

this is less about the psychedelic drug part and more about the words and ideas, like “punching a hole through a dimension so it pours through” and “if god didnt exist man would invent him”. its more worldbuilding towards chris’ power and cosmic abilities

then come 2 more clues. a picture of chris holding his own body captioned ‘ego death’, and the meaning behind the name ‘chris mcclean’. the latter is another “please look over here” post, but the first is another minor reference to the previous puzzles answer involving DMT and terence mckenna. ‘ego death’ is a term again used with strong psychedelic drugs, its the sensation that your spirit as you know it is literally Dying, and you are instead connected to and a part of everything around you. another reference to chris’ power and how he may look like a man but his body and spirit are connected to the world hes built in unfathomable ways. at this point im cementing the idea that chris mclean is not a mortal man and cannot be fought with mortal weapons

puzzle 9. (x) this one was an attempt to make easier to solve puzzles, and comes with a visual of chris looming over the island. the text is in wingdings, which can be translated through multiple websites found through google. it says;

“s︎o︎o︎n︎ h︎e︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ s︎l︎e︎e︎p.︎ h︎e︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ d︎r︎e︎a︎m︎ a︎ n︎e︎w︎ h︎e︎l︎l︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ b︎e︎ o︎u︎r︎ o︎n︎l︎y︎ c︎h︎a︎n︎c︎e︎,︎ t︎o︎ s︎a︎v︎e︎ h︎i︎s︎ c︎r︎e︎a︎t︎i︎o︎n︎s︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ f︎r︎e︎e︎ t︎h︎o︎s︎e︎ w︎h︎o︎ w︎e︎r︎e︎ n︎e︎v︎e︎r︎ d︎e︎s︎i︎g︎n︎e︎d︎ t︎o︎ b︎e︎ f︎r︎e︎e︎.︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ m︎a︎y︎ c︎o︎m︎e︎ a︎t︎ a︎ c︎o︎s︎t︎.︎ t︎h︎e︎ n︎i︎g︎h︎t︎m︎a︎r︎e︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ e︎n︎d︎,︎ t︎h︎e︎ o︎u︎r︎o︎b︎o︎r︎o︎s︎ o︎f︎ h︎i︎s︎ s︎y︎n︎c︎o︎pe︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ c︎l︎o︎s︎e︎,︎ b︎u︎t︎ i︎t︎ m︎a︎y︎ t︎u︎r︎n︎ o︎u︎r︎ e︎f︎f︎o︎r︎t︎s︎ o︎f︎ s︎a︎l︎v︎a︎t︎i︎o︎n︎ t︎o︎ d︎u︎s︎t︎.︎ o︎u︎r︎ f︎i︎g︎h︎t︎ m︎i︎g︎h︎t︎ e︎n︎d︎ i︎n︎ s︎a︎c︎r︎i︎f︎i︎c︎e︎,︎ r︎e︎n︎d︎e︎r︎i︎n︎g︎ h︎i︎s︎ l︎a︎s︎t︎ i︎n︎v︎e︎n︎t︎i︎o︎n︎ b︎u︎t︎ a︎ c︎e︎a︎s︎e︎l︎e︎s︎s︎ v︎o︎i︎d︎.︎ w︎e︎ m︎a︎y︎ s︎e︎e︎ h︎o︎r︎r︎o︎r︎s︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ c︎a︎u︎s︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎t︎a︎r︎s︎ t︎o︎ s︎h︎u︎d︎d︎e︎r︎,︎ b︎u︎t︎ w︎e︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ t︎a︎ke︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ c︎h︎a︎n︎c︎e︎.︎ w︎e︎ h︎a︎v︎e︎ n︎o︎t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎o︎ l︎o︎s︎e︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ a︎ w︎o︎r︎l︎d︎ o︎f︎ n︎o︎t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎n︎e︎s︎s︎ t︎o︎ e︎n︎d︎.︎ m︎a︎y︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎e︎a︎ s︎w︎a︎l︎l︎o︎w︎ u︎p h︎i︎s︎ i︎s︎l︎a︎n︎d︎ o︎f︎ l︎i︎e︎s︎.︎ g︎o︎d︎ pr︎o︎t︎e︎c︎t︎ y︎o︎u︎.︎”

this is essentially saying that the island, the campers, werent all just created from his mind, but from his dreams. this confirms that he Sleeps, and claims hes going to sleep again soon, and during that time period theres a chance to kill him before he can dream up another world (or season) to control and torment. its also saying that theres a chance killing him will destroy the island and campers, but that its the only choice we would have to end the cycle. hey guys i am so bored and over the years i have been on every stimulant and anti depressant doctors are legally allowed to prescribe and its still just not quite there yet huh

puzzle 10. (x) the video, the title translates to “the island of his eye”. its just meant to encapsulate everything ive already been hinting around at but with real footage and some audios taken from the show, and again, it was me tryna make some lore that was easy to digest and also terrifying to an audience with no other context. the final images are the only new clues, if you pause fast enough you can barely make out the characters that (paired with the tangodeltaindia cipher key) would say “set them free”, and you can also see an aerial view of what is actually called “the eye of argentina”. it is a real island that rotates atop a swamp, it is geometrically perfect and no one really knows for sure why it rotates the way it does or how it was formed. this clue is simply related back to the idea that the island of wawanakwa’s location is not in canada, and that it does not function like a normal island.

puzzle 11. (x) what td blog is complete without a uquiz? anyways, it doesnt matter how you answer the quiz, theres only one possible result. the title is a link to a mega file, which is protected with a decryption key. the image attached to the result, when deciphered, is the randomly generated key to the unlock the file. the image you see from the file is this; (TW for mentions of self harm and eye trauma)

in case this is too hard to read ill transcribe what it says;

“How to escape the dream - accept that there is no dream to escape, and no you to escape it. - believe in it anyways. - sleep on your back. - cover your eyes. - hide a nail under the pillow. - wait for the ringing. - when you first see him, dont call his name. dont speak. - keep your eyes shut. - on the second night, ask where the camp is. he wont respond verbally. - on the third night, you’ll see his eyes. - on the fourth night, you’ll enter them. - you can’t turn back after the fifth night. - don’t try to hide your fears. he knows them before you arrive. - don’t shut your eyes for too long when it becomes too much. you risk losing them. - find chris mclean. - don’t stop till the nail is through the socket. - repeat on the other side. - repeat on yourself. - congratulations. they are free”

this is, believe it or not, an idea that comes from my very own sleep paralysis experiences. ive dealt with it a lot, so why not make a weird ritual thing for an arg based off it ig. so whenever i’d fall asleep on my back, i’d eventually hear this ringing in my ears (or it’d happen upon waking up), and then the sleep paralysis would begin. i only ‘saw’ stuff a couple times but the fear for me was really more about the overwhelming sensation of pure dread that always came along with it even when i was aware what was happening, and i Always got this feeling too that if i opened my eyes in that moment, something was gonna stab them.

so moving on to how that applies to the arg, the first few lines are about how, obviously, the island is not real, even in the lore being given its a figment of chris’ imagination, but you have to enter it anyways, and the only way to do that is to believe its real. then it tells you how to ‘enter’ that world, (btw i didn’t expect anyone to actually follow these instructions if found, but even if they did, the whole ‘sleep paralysis being caused by sleeping on your back’ thing usually only happens if you’re predisposed to having it and only happens to Some people who have it, so the intent was like. never to bring that upon anybody. but if you are prone to sleep paralysis plz do not attempt even as a joke or anything thx)

the parts about hallucinating chris then are as follows, “ask about the camp / he wont respond verbally” , meaning he will show you through a dream instead, one that might look a lot like the video from before. “on the third night you will see his eyes”, meaning you will see the island but not be able to interact with it, or basically, how we see total drama on tv right now. “on the fourth night you’ll enter (his eyes)” references the island existing ‘within his eyes’, meaning you will enter the actual island. the next night chris will sleep and you will be able to enter the island again and find him. the idea with the nail is that, if you destroy his eyes you destroy the ‘island’ within them. wrapping back around to sleep paralysis, the idea of stabbing yourself with the nail afterwards is because sometimes, the only thing you can move during sleep paralysis is your fingertips and toes, and wiggling those can help bring you out of the paralysis. so at first how i used to wake myself up, but it didnt usually work fast enough so oftentimes id just pinch the shit out of my fingers and use pain to make my muscles start up faster.

the next post is a link to a countdown. again, i knew nobody was rly following at this point, but i wanted a little more build up before just dropping the ending. it was set up to end 5 days after the last post, aka the one that mentioned a 5 night dream ritual.

puzzle 12. (x) going all the way back to the normal multi step translation puzzles. the coloring of the cipher is a bit different, and its missing chris, but its meant to be used the same as it was before, these changes are only for dramatic effect. and chris is gone because well. we mentally offed him in the inception dream land last time. so anyways the snake = 6, shift A to 6, take out the letters “R-I-C-K” of the characters laying in their graves, and you get this translation;

“its almost time. we must now crack open our minds like a crowbar to a sealed chest. like an egg to a pan. to find our way into camp wawanakwa our ego cannot remain intact, and to traverse it we must stay strong. to escape it, we must glue the pieces back together. now we sleep. dream. end the nightmare.”

this is a final message before ‘entering the island’ to kill chris and free the campers from the island. it acts like a pep talk.

the next post is just the countdown ending.

puzzle 13 (the finale). (x)

this post sends you to a new blog entirely, called @awakenfromthenightmare​. there is only one post on it. the post has another link to a mega file, and the link is attached onto a string of text. follow the link by clicking, then copy the text and paste it in as the decryption key. now you have another image to translate with the tangodeltaindia cipher;

when translated, the text is another link to a youtube video. 

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

so there you have it, that video is the ending to the entire arg. it didnt really end the way i wanted at first, i got burnt out from no engagement about halfway through which isnt anybody elses fault, but i still felt this was a well crafted and fitting finale. thank you all for reading.

[kirishwima]

For scenarios... could I request rfa accidentally meeting MC before the party? no drama like "there's a bomb so I gotta run to your place" they just accidentally meet somewhere and MC recognises them from the pictures in the chatrooms and goes to greet them. Rika's apartment can't be far away from where the others live so it should be impossible. (if you can find a way to squeeze in V that's okay but you don't have to)

i really liked this idea! hope i executed it well ^^

YOOSUNG:

MC and he were actually studying at the same university, but different subjects!

They had a common elective course of modern history though, one that Yoosung’s friends convinced him to take with them since they could share notes, and MC simply had an interest in it, and well, needed the extra credits

Neither of them really noticed each other at first-it’s a big classroom and it’s in the afternoons, so oftentimes Yoosung just skipped lmao

Once though Yoosung’s friends couldn’t make it to the class so he offered to go and take notes for the day, and rushed into the class a little late, so he took the first seat available-right next to MC

He struggled to both write and listen to the professor at the same time, and eventually he got a little behind with his notes. MC noticed his cute frustrated face and shared their notes with him, tapping him on the shoulder as they quietly pushed their papers to him

Yoosung’s happy face was stuck in MC’s mind-he wore his feelings on his sleeve and it was so refreshing to see someone this innocent at this day and age.

They became fast friends afterwards-exchanging facebook accounts and talking via messenger often, sometimes about the class, sometimes about anything and everything else

They even had study sessions to help each other study!

Near the end of the semester, and right when this extra class ended, is when MC stumbled upon the RFA messenger-and one look at Yoosung’s name along with his shooting star emoji got them excited to realise there’s a familiar face amongst this strangeness

The rest of the members found their friendship cute, and Zen constantly tried to play match-maker for the two, telling Yoosung that ‘he should’ve told the RFA he has such a cute girlfriend’ lmao

(*cue Yoosung flushing redder than Seven’s hair*)

ZEN:

No, contrary to what you might think, MC wasn’t his fan-they did however hear about Zen through friends interested in musicals, and agreed he was handsome

No, instead, they met him whilst helping out a friend who was working backstage at one of Zen’s shows-they needed help finishing up painting of some background sets, and MC offered to help them in their free time, and as a return their friend offered MC tickets to the show

Zen met MC whilst rehearsing-he knew MC’s friend and went over to say hi, and met MC, who he of course instantly tried to flirt with, even though he was half-kidding about it

Well, flirtatious nature aside, the two really hit it off, and became good friends-not that they were super close or anything, but Zen would stop and chat with MC after rehearsals, and he invited MC out along with the rest of the crew after the first successful run of the show

He didn’t exchange any social media accounts with MC, because quite frankly, he doesn’t have any lmao, and MC’s phone was broken so they couldn’t give him their number either

Zen insisted that if they leave it up to fate, they’ll meet again, and well-he was right

Lo and behold, MC joined the RFA, and whose face is the first they see in an oh-so-modest selfie?

Yup, Zen the Knight it is

His first words when he realised who MC was were ’See? I told you fate would find a way!’

Sure Zen,,,sure lol

JUMIN:

MC actually scored an interview as Jumin’s executive secretary!

They were so thrilled about it, and did their best to calm their nerves before the interview, knowing that being jittery and anxious would lead them nowhere

Well, they were more than shocked at Jumin’s cold behaviour, but they did their best to match his pace, answering each of his questions without missing a beat, mentioning their credentials without bragging about them

Honestly, Jumin was very pleased-he saw a perfect candidate across him, albeit a little inexperienced due to age, but that didn’t really matter to him-with a little training they’d be perfect for the job

Well, eventually though a better candidate came along, so MC was left with the rejection e-mail in their inbox, disappointed but ready to move on

They had all but forgotten about Jumin Han until stumbling onto the RFA and meeting him again, confused and surprised at the difference of his character in the chatrooms

They didn’t mention the interview at all, but Jumin has the memory of an elephant-one look at MC’s name reminded him of how he met them, and he reassured them that they were incredibly good at the interview and left an impression on him

It takes some getting used to his different attitude, but it’s refreshing to see a man they thought of as cold and calculated be a complete cat-loving goof-and it’s honestly one of the things that makes MC fall for Jumin

And vice-versa, Jumin remembers MC’s serious confident attitude at the interview, and is pleasantly surprised to learn what a gentle, kind person they are in the messenger

When they meet Jaehee though….boy are they glad they didn’t get the job lmao

*pat pat* it’s okay Jaehee…hang in there baby

JAEHEE:

MC was working part-time as a barista at a coffee shop near C&R!

It was a small independent shop, hidden in-between bigger franchises, but their coffee was great, and if there’s one person that loves good coffee, well, it’s Jaehee

The first time she visited the shop she was at a loss of what to order, the possibilities endless with all these brews of coffee they offered, and MC found Jahee’s flustered face adorable

They chatted her up to see what kind of flavours she likes and dislikes, and ended up making her a delicious cold brew with vanilla cream-just sweet enough to give her that sugar rush she needed, but not enough to hide the flavour of the coffee itself

Well, Jaehee was more than thrilled both at the taste, and at the cute cashier *wink wonk*, so she quickly became a regular at the shop

Yes this is your good ol’ cliche coffee AU DON’T JUDGE ME

She’d always stop for a cup of coffee before work, and would secretly be happy on the days she ended up meeting MC during their shift-she’d try and visit during her breaks too, when time would allow it, and would sit and sometimes chat with MC when the cafe wasn’t too busy

MC eventually learnt some stuff about Jaehee, that she works as a secretary to some annoying cat-loving rich dude (lmao sorry Jumin), that she loves coffee, and that her dream is to eventually open her own cafe, if circumstances allow it

One day, Jaehee went to the shop, knowing that MC had a shift at that time, but they were nowhere to be found-their co-workers said MC called in that they can’t make it today because something urgent came up, so Jahee nodded along, wondering if MC was okay

….well, she didn’t have to worry for too long, as not soon after she got her coffee and headed back to the office, a familiar name popped up on the RFA chatroom

Yup, this is a coffee shop au alright-just with some hacker and cat-loving twists lol

SEVEN:

You can never convince me that this boy is not an active reddit user, and you most definitely can Not convince me he isn’t in any and all paranormal and horror forums either

So he’s scrolling around on reddit one day, posting memes and trolling people, when he stumbles upon a really interesting thread someone made about the origins of mothman and possible sightings outside the USA

He’s hooked and spends a lot of time reading through the thread, intrigued by the sophisticated way the OP wrote their points and how well-thought of their evidences were

He started commenting on the thread and talking with the OP, who he soon became online friends with-he loved to chat with them about spooky stuff, cryptids, conspiracy theories and so forth

He didn’t talk much about himself, and would sometimes even make up some lies because he didn’t want to seem like a creep that won’t even share his name, but he couldn’t give out his info that easily; he did however tell them his code name, 707

Eventually they started talking outside of reddit too, through facebook messenger (i mean…we already know this dude has a facebook account and posts his cars there lmao), and is thrilled to find out more about his new online friend, MC, and to even find out they live far closer than he thought!

Well, he gets used to talking with MC almost everyday, and it’s actually one of the few highlights of his day-he’s never really had someone care for him the way this person, someone he hasn’t actually ever met in real life does. He wonders if they’d change their mind about him if they ever met him in real life, but shakes the thoughts away-it’s not as if this could ever develop into something more than an online friendship anyway

Well…or so you thought, Seven lol

When a stranger comes barging into the RFA messenger, he’s instantly tracing their steps and finding out all their internet activities, and lo and behold-whose facebook account is this that he ended up finding? Why, it’s none other than MC!

The moment Seven found out, he got suspicious; was MC just pretending to be online friends with him to hack into the RFA? Were they stealing information without him knowing?

It hurt to have to think this way, but how else could they be linked?

When he slowly found out MC was actually innocent, he was more than relieved-he secretly happy that he could now chat with them both online and on the RFA app, that he could share parts of himself with MC that he couldn’t before

to say he fell for them is the understatement of the century lmao

V/JIHYUN:

When he first started with photography, he took some classes at a local university to learn more about professional photography, photoshop e.t.c

And MC happened to be taking the same classes as him!

They often sat next to each other, not talking at first, but then their professors would sometimes ask them to pair up to work on assignments, and MC ended up paring up with Jihyun more than once

They became fast friends-Jihyun was a little distant, but always friendly in a cold, aloof way, and always polite, and he found MC to be so warm and gentle, he was naturally drawn to them

He did feel attracted to them, but never made a move-he was still struggling with so many things himself, he didn’t want to drag anyone else into his mess. He just wanted to focus on photography and that’s that

So whilst they talked a lot during university, as soon as they graduated, V drifted away, and when he even changed his phone number all communication was lost between the two

Well, time went on, and MC slowly began to forgot about the mint-coloured man they met, until they stumbled into the RFA chatroom

They didn’t realise it was Jihyun at first-he did change his name after all, and everyone in the char referred to him as V, but the way he texted was very familiar, even though MC couldn’t quite understand why

When he finally introduced himself, they were stunned. They didn’t want to ask him if he remembers them though-it’d be too embarrassing if he said he didn’t

But of course V did remember them-the moment Seven told him their name after his background check, all the memories came flooding back, opening up a Pandora’s box in his chest where he locked all those feelings away

Even if they’re back within arms’ reach, and even if they seem interested in him though…it’s useless. He’s far beyond repair, and if he didn’t want to drag MC into his mess then, he most certainly doesn’t want to drag them into it now

So he becomes distant again, more so than ever before but MC isn’t having it-they call him out on his bullshit, and tell him to square up and be honest otherwise they’re leaving

So V reluctantly admits to it all-to remembering MC, to his feelings towards them, and to his own cowardliness back then, and how it’s now too late to change anything; even if he wants to. God, he wants to.

hi I’m soph and i love to torture my favs lol

-send me a mystic messenger scenario/prompt for character reactions!-

[simplyacke]

Glitchtale’s best (emotional) scene

Let’s just comment a scene that almost made me cry third times alredy. It’s the reunion between Toriel and Chara.

This scene is one of the most emotional ones of the entire Glitchtale series, not just because of it’s quality but also because of it’s deep meaning. I’ll divide the analysis in 2 main parts which will divide in subparts.

QUALITY

We all know Camila Cuevas ( @camilaart ) has evolved as both an artist and a storyteller throughout the years. But, at which point has this become important and noticeable?

Well... let’s just say Camila has improved that much that it’s even a meme. I’ll leave some images of Season 1 AND Season 2 to see the changes:

This is one of the most iconic comparisons of all Glitchtale. The first screenshot is taken from the very first episode Megalomaniac and the second one is from Game Over (Part 1).

As you can see, the improvement is everywhere, I don’t feel like something has to be said but: The backgrounds are way more detailed and feel like actual rooms instead of just flat images. The shadows are very noticeable and feel natural, they give it the anime-ish look Glitchtale deserves. The objects feel like they’re there (look at that pillow, you would want to sleep there).

I’d say there’s a point where Camila’s animation changed drastically and that’s between the third and fourth episode of Season 2.

Here’s a picture of Betty in S2E3 and S2E4:

You can alredy notice less thick lines and more details (yes I know the first picture is a battle scene and the second one is a more detailed-slow scene) yet, it’s noticeable in the episode.

Moving back to the scene, the expression of the characters is perfect for their feelings (which will be explained after):

Chara looks surprised, emotional, he can’t explain what’s going on but he suddently feels relief, something he had inside is finally gone, he is happy to see his family (deep explaining after) even though it feels like they just saw each other.

When you just look at Chara’s expressions you know they correspond to true feelings. The scene goes through entire different emotions to lead to Chara’s happiest moment.

DEEP MEANING

Chara was the first human to fall to the Underground. He was adopted by Asgore and Toriel to become their son (remember this is Glitchtale). He jumped to the Underground for a not very happy reason and ended up finding what would be his family.

Before his death, he couldn’t make it up to the ones he loved, he made a mistake and died, leaving his family behind and them tearing it apart. Because Chara’s death lead to Asriel’s death and then to all Undertale events.

When he came back to Frisk as a “sassy ghost” he saw everything Frisk did, thus including seeing his mum call Frisk my child, seeing her again without being able to say something to her, he was there but couldn’t talk to his family. He also had to watch Asgore fight Frisk and separated from Toriel, it should have been horrible.

But then, wtf r u talking ‘bout¿

Well, Chara was given the opportunity (forced to if you want) to take his place back with the inconvinient of forgetting his multiple journeys with Frisk (and Frisk himself).

Once he woke up, he saw what he thought he had lost forever, his family. The ones he loves, the ones who truly cared about him and the only ones who he truly cared about.

Seeing his parents again made him the happiest boy ever.

Bbbbbbbbut Frisk was also Toriel and Asgore’s childd...

No. That’s where you’re wrong. (I think) Camila likes Chara more than Frisk because Chara was real. He was a human who wanted to die because he had nobody to be with or that took care of him. Instead, he finally encountered what he deserved, a family.

There’s also a big difference between Frisk and Chara. Chara feels like Toriel, Asgore and Asriel are his family. For Frisk, they were just members he cared about more than his code. Unfortunately Frisk wasn’t as human as Chara is (there’s a theory about Frisk not being human at all but that’s not mine, that goes to Jack Fenrir from the Glitchtale Amino’s Theories chat).

I can prove that Camila sees it this way with 3 simple pictures (you’ve alredy seen 2 of them in this post).

Even though Frisk needed to stay away from the ones he loved, Chara would NEVER do that to his family even if he had to do what Frisk had. Don’t missunderstand me, Frisk loved them, he cared for them, but he isn’t Chara. If you look at the scene entirely you can notice how Toriel starts to act like a mother (just like she would do with Asriel and Chara) trying to punish Frisk for having his sword and wanting to go out despite what she says, but Frisk knows that he isn’t what he is pretending to be: Chara, which makes him even more sad (because he knows he can’t have what Chara had, not in a jealous way, but more of wanting to be less of a “non-emotional being”, the PLAYER).

On the other side we have Chara. Chara does care about them in every possible aspect, as a human would. Frisk called them mum and dad because it made him feel less “THE PLAYER” (still caring about them) but Chara feels it natural, just look at the scene:

After years of thinking he had lost what he most cared about, his family, his life, he was back. At first he didn’t know it but, inside, he knew that this encounter was the most important one he had in a while.

Remember this is just my point of view, everything said is pure interpretation of the scene what it transmits to me.

As always, thanks @camilaart for creating this amazing story and animating it. The ammount of emotions you transmit is incredible. Stay always determined.

[allthingslinguistic]

7 years of All Things Linguistic

It’s my seven year blogiversary! Wow! Let’s celebrate by looking back at some of my favourite posts from the past year:

Wired Resident Linguist column

I started a column about internet linguistics at Wired this year! Here are my columns so far: 

Voldemorting: birdsite, cheeto, and other ways of hiding words in plain sight

The widely-spoken languages we still can't translate online 

Children are using emoji for digital-age language learning 

The predictive text meme presents the best version of you

Coding is for everyone---as long as you speak English 

Internet linguistics

Emoji Grammar as Beat Gestures (paper by me and Lauren Gawne) 

Emoji as Gesture at the second EmojiCon

I started fact-checking a book about emoji and the book was so hilaribad it turned into a thread-review (blog post summary).

Internet linguistics reading list from Maria Heath

Are emoji sequences as informative as text?

Both pronunciations of “gif” are fine

A thread on meme semiotics

The role of capitalization in internet language

Other linguistics 

Affixes, explained by koalas

A base-27 counting system on the human body

An animation of what it’s like to have dyslexia

How people with synesthesia map colours onto vowels

Repetition can make sounds into music

Verbing is a feature, not a bug

The importance of mother-tongue education

Guide to making alveolar trills (as in Spanish “rr”)

Babies sometimes think that “you” means “me”

All words are made up words

The impact of climate change on language loss

Why teaching phonics is an important part of learning to read

Folks, there’s nothing left from the linguistics division. (On the Brazil National Museum fire)

Crows with a human accent

Debunking the idea that apes might have learned a sign language

Using punctuation marks to help learn tones

“I’ve never met anyone who regretted being bilingual”

Yesterday’s syntax is tomorrow’s morphology

Everyone has an accent

What’s something that seems obvious within your profession, but the general public seems to misunderstand?

You’re never too old to become fluent in a foreign language

Things about languages

Heaven's Vault, a videogame about decoding an ancient language

Word length in Greenlandic

Why some Asian accents swap L and R in English

Historical English dialect differences: eggs and eyren

The logic behind childhood spelling “errors”

The injustice of the baby sign trend

Generation poems for names in Korean and Chinese

Mayan languages like K’iche’ and Mam in the US immigration court system

Maps: history of British and Irish languages

Language differences between North and South Korea

On studying emerging sign languages

Why sign languages need protecting

The World’s Writing Systems website (which has posters!)

Beowulf and discourse markers

Court stenographers often misunderstand African American English

Using machine learning to decipher ancient Sumerian cuneiform

Why hearing people should not make up a new sign

Star Trek takes on the Gavagai problem

Pro-Tactile American Sign Language

New Zealand government pushes for Maori in all primary schools by 2025

Singular ‘They’ is 700 Years Old

Indigenous sign languages

This young girl uses “los,” “las” and the gender-neutral “les” — watch her explain why.

How braille works (webcomic)

Plains Sign Language

Memes and humour

Symbols of the IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet) as brands of IPA (India Pale Ale): a thread

Linguistic prescriptivists make terrible zoologists

Linguistics takes on the nobody/JK Rowling meme

Linguistics takes on the Roses are red meme 

WUG is for the way you look at me

Linguistics takes on the Wannabe meme

Punctuation takes on the distracted boyfriend meme

New favourite example of pragmatic ambiguity: have you seen my cat?

Today’s Creative Use of English Swear Word Morphosyntax Award

New favourite example of reduplication: moonmoon

New favourite example of semantic ambiguity: let this be the hour that we draw swords together

New favourite retronym: call-phone

grendel grendel / yes mama

Linguistics Sign Bunny

Half of the students transcribed ‘marriage’ with a final [tʃ]; so I guess it’s true that 50% of marriages end in devoice

Wug cookies and a 3D-printed wug cookie cutter and colourful IPA cookies

Linguistics jobs 

lexicographer

journalist 

school linguist

data scientist 

PR consultant

freelance editor and writer

working in tech and webinar about working in tech 

how to get into linguistics grad school

language creator

standards engineer

translator

conductor

accent coach

Linguistics + X career advice post (updated)

Lists and how to

How to type the International Phonetic Alphabet on your phone (iOS or Android), newly updated

How to teach yourself linguistics online for free, revised and updated

28 tips for doing better in your intro linguistics course, revised and updated

Long list of pop linguistics books and lingfic, revised and updated

A very long list of linguistics youtube channels and other free online videos about linguistics

Linguistics Gift Guide 2018

Lingthusiasm 

We had another year of Lingthusiasm episodes! 

What words sound spiky across languages? Interview with Suzy Styles

This, that, and the other thing - Determiners

When nothing means something

Making books and tools speak Chatino - Interview with Hilaria Cruz

Every word is a real word

Why do C and G come in hard and soft versions? Palatalization

Words for family relationships - Kinship terms

How languages influence each other - Interview with Hannah Gibson on Swahili, Rangi, and Bantu languages

The verb is the coat rack that the rest of the sentence hangs on

Why do we gesture when we talk?

Pop culture in Cook Islands Māori - Interview with Ake Nicholas

You heard about it but I was there - Evidentials

And another year of Lingthusiasm bonus episodes: 

Forensic linguistics

Homonyms, homophones, and homographs

Emoji, Gesture, and the International Congress of Linguists - behind the scenes on the linguistics conference circuit

Hyperforeignisms

Bringing up bilingual babies

What's it really like at academic conferences?

Q&A about old words, ears, Australian English, and more

Naming people (and especially babies)

How the internet is making English better (liveshow from Melbourne)

Adapting your language to other people

How do radio announcers know how to pronounce all the names? With guest Tiger Webb

Talking with dogs, horses, ravens, dolphins, bees, and other animals

We also released more Lingthusiasm merch: scarves with tree diagrams and esoteric symbols on them, all the scarf designs as notebooks and mugs, Space Babies, and linguist baby onesies! 

Book: Because Internet

Many exciting announcements related to Because Internet, my book in defence of internet language, happened this year! 

The book is heading into copyedits!

BECAUSE INTERNET is available for preorder!

Galleys of BECAUSE INTERNET are arriving with reviewers

An early review of BECAUSE INTERNET (“me reading this was basically galaxy brain”)

Thoughts from reading the audiobook of Because Internet: on pronouncing gif, lol, and keysmash

Because Internet will be coming out on July 23 -- that’s only 2 months away! You can make it appear as a delightful surprise for your future self (and signal to the publisher that people are interested in linguistics so they should print lots of copies) by preordering it here. 

Haven’t been with me this whole time? You can see my favourite posts of year one, year two, year three, year four, year five, and year six. For shorter updates, follow me on twitter as a person or as this blog, or for a monthly newsletter with highlights, subscribe at my website.

[rhowena]

Pile of stuff concerning what happened to Loki between Thor and The Avengers

Originally posted on r/FanTheories

https://inforapid.org/webapp/webapp.php?shareddb=IAxUFHnwkGJSYMj9OFbT8mRl5goHm9SC2qHbWw4knO1cng5qI5Wrg48nP1MdgbWlJmHj6UpwbN343IqnstQUwxIIO01M5Rvb

As it does not escape my notice that I’ve created a digital version of this meme, some navigation help for anyone who needs it:

Mouse over/tap an item or relation to view its description

For items with the yellow ‘Note’ label, select the node and then 'Notes on Item’ in the side menu to view an additional notes page

If an item has a globe icon it the top-left corner, click it to open a webpage

'Adjust View’ in the side menu has controls to zoom in/out, increase/decrease the distance between items, and filter items or relations by category

Relations (and items) are color-coded by type: solid green lines are for in-universe evidence (light green connects evidence to the theory it supports, while dark green connects pieces of evidence that should be looked at together), purple dotted lines denote parallels, and dark red lines mark cases of “one of these things is not like the other”

And an overview of the theories contained therein:

First, the central piece of tinfoil around which all other tinfoil is arrayed: remember how, at the end of the first Thor, Loki was pathologically obsessed with gaining his father’s approval? And how, when he next showed up after vanishing for an entire year, he’d gotten mixed up with a guy who keeps a menagerie of adopted children? And how, during his argument with Thor on the mountaintop, he said this?

Loki: Did you mourn? Thor: We all did. Our father– Loki: Your father. He did tell you my true parentage, did he not?

Loki: I’ve seen worlds you’ve never known about! I have grown, Odinson, in my exile. I have seen the true power of the Tesseract and when I wield it—

Tom Hiddleston: There’s a bit where Thor says, “We all mourned! Our father…” and Loki interrupts him and says, “YOUR father.” And it’s that sense of 'don’t include me in this anymore. I have no relation or connection to you.’ It’s his way of saying 'I’ve let go, I’m gone, I’m on the outside of the fence, I’m happy here, I don’t want to come back in.’

If I may take a minute to get out some of my extremely complicated feelings on this, while there’s a bunch more evidence in favor of Loki having been another of Thanos’s children that can be viewed on the mind map, I want to highlight this pair of quotes because it’s everything implied by the words “Your father” that makes it into a devastating punch in the stomach which draws on both halves of Loki’s Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds characterization: his genuine love for his family is his primary redeeming quality and that he forswore it like this puts the terrible moment when he first knelt before Thanos and pledged himself to the Mad Titan’s service firmly into archetypal Faustian sell-your-soul territory, but when you consider the straits he was in at the time and the implication that Thanos initially ensnared him not through promises of power but by preying on him emotionally, it’s a very human kind of tragic mistake.

The other mitigating factor is that based on everything we’ve heard from Thanos’s other children, it’s a safe bet that he did in fact do unspeakably horrible things to Loki too – indeed, noticing the resemblance between the existing theories about Loki having been tortured/brainwashed and Gamora’s “He took me, tortured me, turned me into a weapon” was what prompted the above realization in the first place. (It’s reminiscent of Theon’s storyline in ASOIAF/GOT: yeah, he betrayed his adoptive family and did some generally awful stuff, but no one deserves what happened to him.) It also bears emphasizing that accountability cuts both ways: one of the key takeaways from the previous bullet point is that the suffering Loki went through doesn’t absolve him of responsibility for his villainous actions, but the other side of the coin is that Loki’s partial complicity doesn’t absolve Thanos of responsibility for the choice he made to take a broken, desperate young man who’d just lost everything and turn him into the rabid animal we saw during The Avengers, and I dearly hope that exploring the rich font of psychological horror that is that time period will erase any remaining doubt that Thanos’s claims of acting For The Greater Good are nothing but empty, egotistical, self-righteous posturing and everyone in the audience who insists on taking them at face value is being duped just as Loki was.

Stephen: No. I mean, come on. Look at your face. Dormammu made you a murderer. Just how good can his kingdom be?

As for where this is all going, I believe there’s a good chance that the Loki Disney+ series will be where they finally address this as a. the split timeline Loki the series will be following is still fresh from his time with Thanos and it will therefore have to explain what happened if we’re to understand the kind of headspace that he’s in at that moment and b. Tom Hiddleston has revealed that the series will also clarify whether or not Loki really is dead in the main timeline, and everything I have so far indicates that understanding the nature of his original pact with Thanos is essential to understanding both Loki’s choice to die and Thanos’s choice to kill him (see the 'Pledge of fidelity’ and 'Limited use’ notes pages on the mind map). Character-wise, I think one of the points of emphasis will be that Loki’s death in Infinity War doesn’t wrap up his story as neatly as it may appear to on the surface; truly completing his redemption arc will require him to confront this part of his past in full, and with it his guilt over everything he’s done and his fear that he’s wrecked his life and relationship with his family so thoroughly that he can never, ever fix them.

Loki: Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? […] Your ledger is dripping, it’s gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer… PATHETIC! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code. Something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will *never* go away!

An additional giant red flag indicating we really should be asking more questions about that time gap is a group of lines in The Avengers which reveal that Thanos taught Loki how to use the Tesseract.

The Other: The Tesseract has awakened. It is on a little world. A human world. They would wield its power, but our ally knows its workings as they never will.

The Other: You question us? You question HIM? He, who put the Scepter in your hand? Who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose when you were cast out, defeated?

Loki: I’ve seen worlds you’ve never known about! I have grown, Odinson, in my exile. I have seen the true power of the Tesseract and when I wield it— Thor: Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be king?

Sharing that kind of knowledge and power with someone as volatile as Loki strikes me as an monumentally terrible idea (and as much as I don’t want to be the person who throws a tantrum because their fanfic didn’t come true, I’m kinda salty that Thanos was defeated without it coming back to bite him in the ass), which leaves me wondering what Thanos hoped to gain that he believed would be worth the risks. My thoughts on that particular sub-puzzle are still somewhat hazy, but my basic sense is that there’s something weird going on between Loki and the Tesseract and wanting to exploit that connection is one of the reasons Thanos went to all the trouble of breaking him into submission.

Loki: So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?

The other reason for Thanos’s interest in Loki ties back to all that emotional twistiness I talked about earlier: he planned to leverage Loki’s anger and resentment towards his family in a bid to destroy Odin and Asgard from the inside.

Zemo: An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumbles from within? That’s dead… forever.

As a prelude to this, during The Avengers Thanos had additionally tasked Loki with killing Thor as a way to prove his loyalty and destroy the last remaining shreds of his own humanity, a test Loki failed because he still loved his brother too much.

Coulson: You’re going to lose. It’s in your nature. […] You lack conviction.

What’s more, Thanos anticipated this, and the Scepter’s influence over Loki was aimed at forcing him to go through with it if he refused.

Loki: I won’t touch Barton, not until I make him kill you! Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear! And then he’ll wake, just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I’ll split his skull!

Lastly, even with Infinity War having established that Thanos simply gets off on emotional torture, that he would go out of his way to fuck with Odin personally by turning his second son against him leads me to believe there was a special hatred there stemming from some as-yet unrevealed history between the two. I mean, when I picture the alternate universe where Thanos shows up to attack Asgard with a corrupted Loki in tow like “You screwed up so badly that he chose me as a father figure over you” …that isn’t something you say to a complete stranger.

GRRM on writing villain POVs: That’s a comic book kind of thing, where the Red Skull gets up in the morning [and asks] “What evil can I do today?” Real people don’t think that way. We all think we’re heroes, we all think we’re good guys. We have our rationalizations when we do bad things. “Well, I had no choice,” or “It’s the best of several bad alternatives,” or “No it was actually good because God told me so,” or “I had to do it for my family.” We all have rationalizations for why we do shitty things or selfish things or cruel things. So when I’m writing from the viewpoint of one of my characters who has done these things, I try to have that in my head.

[thecodernet]

Programming languages in 2020 Programming languages in 2020 : Hello friends, there is a high demand for programming languages in today's time and it will be increased in the future, so programming jobs are getting a good salary at today's time average position. In the tech world, knowledge of any one programming language increases the value of your resumé.  If you are new to the profession of software development, the most challenging part of learning programming is choosing where to start. There are hundreds of programming languages ​​in large-scale use, each with its own complexities and unknowns.  The good news is that as you start your journey as a software developer, you will start to know which programming language will be best satisfied for you, your concerns and career purposes.  These programming languages are accepted in every sector. For example, financial and enterprise systems require programming languages like Java and C # to perform many complex functions and to be highly organized. Media and design-related webpages and software want powerful, varied or operative languages such as Ruby, PHP, JavaScript, and Objective-C. Best Programming Languages in 2020:  Python Programming Language:   Python is a high-level, server-side scripting language for websites and mobile apps.  Python It is recognized as an easy language for newcomers due to its readability and compressed syntax, Meaning developers can describe the concept by using only several lines of code. These web apps control, such as Instagram, Pinterest, and Rdio. Google it, Yahoo! And NASA also uses. The programming language presents a great starting point for newcomers. Talking about people who are looking for a better job, you should definitely learn Python! A lot of Startups are using Python as their basic backend stack and therefore, this opens up a large opportunity for full-stack Python developers. Learn Python from Here:  1. Udemy  2.Coding Ninjas. Java Programming Language:  Java is a class-based, object-oriented programming language that Sun Microsystems discovered in the 1990s. Java It is one of the most demanding programming languages, which is also used in business software, web-based content, games and mobile apps, and the Android operating system.  Java is also generally used in Android App development. Almost any industry today needs Android applications due to the fact that there are billions of Android users now. This opens up a huge opportunity for Java developers, given the fact that Google has built an excellent Java-based Android development framework - Android Studio. Java has been designed in such a way that you can apply it in multiple software platforms. For example, a program designed for Mac OS X can also be applied in Windows. Learn JAVA from here: 1.Udemy  2.W3school C++ Programming Language:  C ++ is an intermediate-level language with object-oriented programming features that are originally designed and support C language.  C ++ major software alike Firefox powers Winamp and Adobe programs. It is used to improve systems software, application software, high-performance servers, client applications, and video games. C ++ also allows something called STL - Standard Template Library. STL is a supply of ready-to-use libraries for different data structures, arithmetic operations, and algorithms. Library support and language speed make it a popular choice in the high-frequency trading community as well. Learn C++ from here: 1.Learncpp  2.Codecademy also read: What is Programming Language and Machine Language? JavaScript Programming Language:   JavaScript is a customer and server-side scripting language that Netscape has created. Most of its syntax is obtained from C.  It can be used on various web browsers and it can be used to develop animated web functions.  It is also used in making game development and desktop applications. JavaScript editors are used in Google's Chrome extensions, Apple's Safari extensions, Adobe Acrobat and Reader, and Adobe's Creative Suite. There are also several libraries and FRAMEWORKS to make JavaScript development more accessible. Some of the most popular frameworks include Angular, React, Vue, Ember, and jQuery. A JavaScript developer will require experience with one or more of these.  Learn JavaScript from here: 1.W3School 2.Codecademy. Go Programming Language:  Go, also known as Golang, is a programming language designed by Google.  Go gives superior support for multithreading and therefore, it is being used by a lot of businesses that rely massively on distributed systems.  Go is generally used in startups in Silicon Valley. However, it is yet to be used by Indian companies/startups. Those who want to join a valley-based startup practicing in core systems should understand Golang. Learn GO from here:  1.Golang 2.guru99 R Programming Language:   R programming language is one of the most generally used programming languages ​​for data analysis and machine learning.  R gives excellent frameworks and built-in libraries to develop powerful machine learning algorithms.  R is used for common statistical computing as well as graphics. R is well used by enterprises. Those who want to join the "analytics" team of a large organization must definitely learn R. Learn R from here:   1.Codecademy.  2.Guru99 Swift Programming Language:   Swift is the programming language used to develop iOS applications.  iOS-based devices are becoming frequently popular. For example, the Apple iPhone has captured a significant market share and is giving a tough competition to Android.  Therefore, those who want to serve this community can master Swift programming. Learn Swift from here:  1.Tutorialspoint. PHP Programming Language: PHP (Hypertext Processor) is a free, server-side scripting language created for powerful websites and app development.  It can be quickly embedded as an HTML source document without building any external file, which is why it is a famous programming language for web developers.  PHP controls more than 200 million websites, such as WordPress, Digg, and Facebook. Those who want to join a very prosperous older organization as back-end developers should try to learn Php programming. Learn PHP from here:  1.W3school  2.Codecademy  also read: Database Management System - Everything about DBMS-MySQL C# Programming Language:  It is pronounced as "C-sharp," C # is a multi-paradigm language that Microsoft has created and is a part of the .NET initiative.  It combines the principles of C and C ++, C # is a general-purpose language to develop software for Microsoft and Windows platforms. Are done. C # is a general-purpose programming language developed by Microsoft. C # is popularly used to build the back-end of Windows Phone applications. Learn C# from here:   1. Codecademy  2.Javapoint SQL Programming Language:  Structured Query Language (SQL) is a special-purpose language used in database management systems to handle data.  It is usually used for the "Query" function, which searches informational databases. SQL was standardized in the 1980s by the American National Standards Institute (ANSI) and the International Organization for Standardization (ISO). Learn SQL from here:   1. Khanacademy  2. Guru99  Conclusion: These are all very best points about which you can create Programming languages in 2020. Let us tell you that on all these Best Points you can create both videos and text content.   If you have any doubts about this article or you want that there should be some improvement in it, then for this you can write the below comments. If you liked this post on Programming languages in 2020 or got to learn something, then please share this post on social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites. Wait wait wait ................👀👀 Here a meme for You Funny top 10 programming languages of the future, top 10 programming languages 2020, most in-demand programming languages 2020, most popular programming languages,, the best programming language for software development top trending programming languages

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