#the loser goes to therapy

[portmanteaublerone]

cowboy showdown in the old west ghost town but instead of Revolver Quickdraw between the ranger and outlaw it’s Who Can Say “Yeah” with the Most Solemnity, Solidarity, and Sincerity

[oplishin]

In 2022, seth weaponized his history with Roman against him, and it uh. Didn’t go so hot for him, it ended with Roman murdering him with a steel chair.

In 2024, seth does the same trick again, and Roman’s ready for it! Hits him before he can even really get in the ring. But Seth’s learned in ways Roman hasn’t. He knows now that if Roman has the chance to get him back, to hurt him, he can’t resist (i am thinking about how Roman went back to hit Seth in 2022, even after everything was over). And Seth uses his own self destruction to help Cody.

It’s a fabulous character arc/moment: jn 2022 he selfishly tries to manipulate Roman, in 2024 he unselfishly uses the same strategy because he knows Roman hurting him will save Cody.

Big fan of incredible lack of self preservation and willingness to do himself harm here!!! And the fact that Seth very very literally recreated his initial betrayal as an act of penance. There’s no way he brought that steel chair to the ring thinking he was going to be able to use it.

[jellyaibo]

today i realized ive had my loser plush for.....what...2 years now??? and already shes a bit worn from all hte time ive spent w her (colors are a bit de-saturated, has some wrinkles/creases, shes a bit dirty too but im gna clean her again soon)

it makes me kinda emotional like . wow to be loved is to be changed

[footaddiction]

Here's a cold hard truth, Beta loser.

You're never going to want pussy like a real man does. And no amount of NoFap, Therapy or Re-inventing yourself is going to change that.

You need feet how real men need sex.

And because there's more girls interested in sex than there are those interested in foot play, it's inevitable that you'll wind up paying to satisfy your foot fetish.

That's just the way it goes...

[oh-no-its-bird]

Wanna fic where it's like, one of those "Obito came back to Konoha + Rin never died so team 7 is all together as adults" fics

But yk, having avoided mountains of irreversible trauma that would shape him into the slack off bitch boy we know and love in canon, Kakashi is still super up tight and bitchy ab rules n stuff

And the fic itself is Rin and Obito trying various methods to get him to relax (with the end goal of the fic being to somehow shape this Kakashi into the Kakashi we know and love from canon, but like, trying to do that WITHOUT the death and trauma)

Just silly fluffy fun times as Rin and Obito do their best to get Kakashi to loosen up a bit, probably only winding him up more and more through their efforts

They try to get him to get a hobby, like knitting or reading. Only the first book he picks up happens to be a really raunchy romance and Obito's tiny virgin loser mind can't handle it and immediatley declares the whole thing a bust, slaps the book out of Kakashi's hand, and drags him away

They try to get him to smoke. Bad idea, he's wired like a dog so it's like times 10, lasts way longer than it should, and makes him super twitchy/paranoid.

They try to convince him to go to therapy— and when he obviously says no, tries to trick him into having an impromptu therapy lesson w THEM. Which almost works at first but then he looks up from his heartfelt speech and goes "are you FUCKING writing this down rn" and Rin very guiltily puts the diagnosis notebook away

So at first, it's all done in good fun and good faith, and Kakashi even agrees to go along with it a bit bc like, why not. They have a point.

But as each method fails, Obito and Rin get even more into it / weird ab it, and Kakashi gets progressively more and more done with this— till it's basically turned into Rin and Obito competing with themselves/eachother to see who can manage to "fix" Kakashi

(Kakashi is climbing out the fucking window and booking it into the woods)

Kakashi keeps trying to hide behind Gai, only for Gai to turn around and BETRAY him by saying Rin and Obito might have a point ab him needing to try and relax a bit (not the fixing bit tho, wtf guys)

Kakashi ends up hiding in Genma's house bc Genma isn't invested enough in this to comment on the situation

In the end ofc Rin and Obito realize they've gone too far and apologize profusely, and the entire event of having to dodge Obito and Rin's insane efforts have helped simulate the terrible trauma Kakashi missed out on, so he's like. A LITTLE more relaxed. A little. But only bc hes so immune to bullshit now that he just kinda blinks sleepily through it (like he did after Rin and Obito put his entire bed into the middle of a lake while he was sleeping in an effort to show him how to "roll with the unexpected")

[thoughtsforsoob]

emo bf!huening kai 😔

note: I fear I have emo brain rot lately (I got ptv tickets for next July so I’m in my emo era again). please enjoy this! requests remain opennn

Hes such a sweetheart. He may seem like a big, scary loser but when it comes to you, he is the sweetest man in existence.

What a lot of people don’t know about the emo culture is that people are typically super nice! He falls into this stereotype :) he’s always looking out for you

when he takes you to your first show, he is looking out for you. if you happen to be standing where the pit opens up, he is going to hold you close to his side and protect you when his whole body. He knows pits are extra rough so he needs to make sure his princess comes out unscathed. On the other hand, if you like being in the pit, he joins you just to stay close to you.

He always lets you take care of doing his hair, his make up, painting his nails, etc. He loves when you fuss over him. It makes him feel so special and loved.

Kai loves introducing you to his favorite bands. He’s still super big into using cd’s so he gets you a cd player (a little Walkman you can carry with you everywhere). He lets you borrow his cd’s and even burns some for you. To him, it’s like the biggest romantic gesture ever. It makes all the trouble of burning a cd worth it when you tell him all about what you thought about it.

he also loves to read. he’s your typical depressing poetry lover (Sylvia Plath #1 fan)! he always reads poetry to you and when you start to tear up because it was so sad, he stops and goes to comfort you. he stops doing this because he hates to see you sad.

Because of the way he dresses, he’s used to getting the mean comments from people who don’t understand. Something he won’t allow is when they start to be mean to you too. No one should mess with his pretty girl. He immediately starts spitting out these crazy intelectual insults at the other person to make them feel insecure.

He struggles a lot with his emotions so you’re always helping him when he starts to cry or something. He’s so grateful that you deal with all his problems with him. Having someone to make him feel better upgrades his life and he eventually goes into therapy when you suggest it to him. He gets better and it’s all thanks to you. You’re his guardian angel.

[merakiui]

a few halloweenie details i think are fun and silly:

✧ you drag rollo clothes and lingerie shopping just so no one will bother you or try to talk to you. and he just naturally looks like your boyfriend because he insists on holding all your bags and sticking close (none of these stores are for him): "if i don't, you'll set them wherever you please and someone might steal them. it's better if i hold them to avoid that." (he cares.)

✧ you and rollo share a car, and the majority of the car's issues (stains on the seat, crack in windshield, broken door handle, etc) can be attributed to you. ^^;;; rollo is hesitant to lend you the car, but you beg and plead with him and it gets annoying, so he relents.

✧ gidel can very clearly see the romantic tensions between you and skully, so it's no coincidence he often pulls the two of you to the back so you can unbox merchandise together. (thank you for your service, gidel.)

✧ you steal cheap cosmetics from the SFX section in fellow's shop, and he only allows it because you are (unfortunately for him) an essential worker to this operation. 😔 he can't fire you because who else is going to turn a blind eye to his dubious business practices?

✧ skully is always worried you're going to fall in love with your roommate. rollo assures him that will never happen. he later writes an entry about it in his jack skellington diary titled: excellent news!!!!!!!! :D

✧ fellow has worked with these losers (affectionate) long enough that he feels comfortable enough to let down just a sliver of his showman façade. it goes right back up the minute you try asking for a raise, though. even though it may not seem so at first glance, fellow does care for the lot of you in his own unique ways.

✧ you affectionately call skully "skulls."

✧ you have a little coffin case to keep your cigarettes in and skully thinks it's the most fascinating thing.

✧ skully will do whatever fellow tells him to do because he thinks he's a "good soul with a fluffy heart." you'll never understand why he's such a yes-man when it comes to fellow, but the truth is that if it wasn't for fellow hiring him skully would've never met the people he now calls his friends.

✧ skully writes lots of (erotic) poetry about you and journals his feelings regarding you. everyone just assumes he's writing about tnbc or jack skellington whenever he has his nose in those pages.

✧ you and rollo like to cyberstalk your classmates when you're both on shift and the day is slow. therapy is expensive, but gossiping together is free and fun.

✧ skully thinks it's really hot when you smoke and there's a lipstick ring imprinted around the cigarette when it's pulled from your lips.

✧ gidel drew skully a "(name) affection chart" to mark off skully's progress in successfully wooing you. skully rambles about you a lot when you aren't around, so it didn't take a genius to understand where this was coming from. once, you and rollo had to take off and so it was just fellow and gidel with skully. fellow says he'll never do it again because every chance skully got he was going on about: "i'm just not certain... are we friends? do you think my lovely (name) considers me a dear friend? am i troubling her? i don't cause her trouble, do i?" T_T skully thinks the love chart (which is really just a heart gidel gradually colors in whenever he feels like it) is the best thing ever: "my dear gidel, you're a genius!!! >w<" and gidel is just proud to be praised. >:3 (fellow taught him that one to get skully to hush up with the (name) monologue. ^^;;;)

[satoruxx]

sorry to go feral in your inbox but ghostface!miguel who is crazy about you (in a good way I promise) and does everything in his power to protect you and keep those horrible college guys from your classes away from you but you only know him as the mysterious gravelly voice who calls you every night that you’ve grown fond of as your personal lullaby-

pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader | 1.5k words summary: ghostface!miguel, stalking, possessive miguel, violence, death, killing, obsessive behavior, suggestive, killer miguel ofc, reader is WAY too trusting, miggy just loves you so much !! rheya’s note: NONNIE BABES YOU GENIUS !! he absolutely would oh my fucking god. i am so normal about this (going feral) i was literally squealing while writing this it was rough. why is this concept hot? do i need therapy? probably. anyways he's a creep in this but in a good way? (the way this ask literally got me inspired to draw ghostface!miguel UGH) anyways ENJOY !!

miguel isn't a bad guy. he's not. he's one of the good guys actually, a hero. he's always been a hero.

it's not his fault that there are some assholes in the world that are fucked up, preying on innocent people who just want to live their lives.

sweet, innocent people like you.

how a girl as sweet and precious as you managed to get yourself surrounded by such horrible people is beyond him. and you're so nice too, always assuming that nobody has it out for you or that everyone has some good in them. with that mindset, you were just asking to be put in danger.

so, being the hero that he is, it's his obligation to look out for you, right?

it starts off quietly. he doesn't make an effort to connect with you, choosing to watch you from the shadows as he silently tracks your day. miguel is nothing if not observant, mentally noting every single person you interact with or looks your way. and if they get a little too close, a little too comfortable? well, then he'd just have to take care of that for you, wouldn't he?

he hates that one flirty coworker of yours, always leaning a little too close to you and chatting like he's your fucking boyfriend. miguel can see the little crease of discomfort in your brows whenever that coworker is nearby, and he decides that he hates that expression on you. but you feel fine afterwards, because when your coworker goes missing the next day, you send a quick thank you to the heavens, trying to push down your guilt.

he finds out that you try to make some extra money by tutoring a guy at your school. and when miguel watches the two of you through the windows of the library he feels hatred like no other run through his veins because he doesn't like how this guy looks at you. that asshole probably didn't even need tutoring to begin with, using it as a pathetic excuse to get close to you. what a fucking joke. but you don't have to stress about tutoring anymore because the next day you get a text saying the kid has transferred schools. you never hear from him again.

oh but the worst ones are the ones who ask you out on dates. they don't even know how lucky they are, getting to see you all dolled up and pretty for them, only to absolutely destroy your hopes for a good time. it makes miguel so angry he sees red. every fucking time one of those losers makes a comment that has your shoulders slumping with disappointment, a miserable frown on your pretty lips by the end of the night, he feels sick to his stomach. but he hopes that when you see your date's body on the news the next morning, you won't be so disappointed anymore.

only after watching over you for a while does miguel decide to finally talk to you, finding the perfect hiding spot to watch you through your window as you pick up your ringing phone. he has to stop himself from groaning because your voice sounds so much sweeter when it's in his ear, smooth and precious as you ask who it is. and he can't resist playing with you, dying to hear more as he sighs behind his mask.

"tell me your name and maybe i'll tell you mine." miguel answers, gravelly voice practically purring through the speaker. he can see the confusion on your face as you pace your kitchen, reaching for a bag of chips before walking back to your couch and settling in to watch a movie. he hears the screams from the tv and bites his lip. "what's that noise?"

"a movie." you reply, the expression on your face getting less guarded as you listen to his voice.

"a scary movie?" he asks, leaning against the edge of the roof so that he's got the perfect view of you. you take a chip and pop it in your mouth, chewing quietly, and he follows the movement of your lips with eager eyes.

"mhm," you nod, and miguel thinks it's so fucking cute the way you move your head even though you think he can't see you.

"you like scary movies?" he asks with a hum, and you voice out a yes. his eyes remain hooded and attentive as he effortlessly continues the conversation. "you got a favorite, sweetheart?"

he catches the way you melt under his sweet words, and miguel decides then and there that he's never letting you go. he listens to your answers with a grin, tucking his knife away and watching you animatedly talk to him for the remainder of the night.

and the rest is history.

you tell him about a guy who's bothering you? he'll bury him. someone made you cry? he'll break their legs. your date stood you up? he'll stab them so many times he loses count. and then after all of that, he'll call you like he always does, rumbling honeylike words into his phone as he casually watches you from behind his mask.

"and how was your day today, sweetheart?" he'll drawl out, late at night as he perches on the neighboring roof to your apartment. with the way he's angled he can perfectly see the innocent little smile on your face as you settle in bed, talking on the phone like you're not scared of him at all.

and you shouldn't be, because he'd never hurt you, of course.

some nights you'll giddily tell him about the most exciting parts of your day, smiling and giggling until you fall asleep without a care in the world. but on the nights when you complain or whine about somebody that's made you upset, wronged you, or god forbid, showed interest in you? well, those are the nights miguel has to grit his teeth and clench his fists, trying to control the flare of pure rage that courses through him. he lulls you to sleep with sweet words, trying to keep his cool but still vibrating with anger because who the fuck do they think they are, getting near you like that?

"don't worry, pretty girl," he sighs into the phone, twirling his knife between his fingers. "i'm sure they'll stop bothering you soon enough."

and they do. but you being the precious oblivious little thing you are, assume that you're just lucky. a guardian angel, you had said, was watching over you. miguel had just chuckled into the phone, deep and rich as he smirked at you from the roof once again.

"guardian angel? well lucky you, huh?" he had asked, feeling all too pleased with himself. you agreed with a nod.

well, if that's what you wanted to see him as he had no problem playing guardian angel for you.

and no he doesn't even want you to find out, because the last thing he wants to do is scare you. no no, he'd much rather protect you from the shadows, eliminating every single threat could ever harm a hair on your pretty little head. his reward comes in the form of you living your life, carefree smiles and all.

and granted he feels much more rewarded when he calls you late at night, deep voice teasing with an underlying sense of possessiveness as he speaks to you about anything and everything. he doesn't understand why and how you decided that he was safe to talk to, but you do, laughing and sighing into the phone until you've dozed off.

and if you've accidentally left your windows open, well of course being the gentleman he is, miguel will close them for you. but not before he stands at your bedside, raising his mask to watch you sleep peacefully. such a pretty little thing, so sweet and gentle. and after pulling himself away from your sleeping form, he quietly shuts the window behind him, yanking his mask back down with a smirk because he doesn't want anyone else to see you all vulnerable like that.

you were too trusting to begin with, but you trusting him is alright. after all he's the only one who's been looking out for you. anyone else tries to get near you and he'll have no choice but to tear their limbs off. they could be a threat to you, right?

but that's why he'll never let you out of his sight.

you're his after all.

[artydonsgf]

love your account! maybe jealous art, patrick, or tashi headcanons? like individually them and reader. can be nsfw or not :)

thank you lovely!! i’m so glad to hear that🥹🫶🏾 i’ll do you one better n just do all three of them!

enjoy jealous art, patrick, and tashi :)

Art Donaldson:

- extremely jealous

- literally feels sick with jealousy

- terrible at hiding his jealousy too

- if he feels someone is being too flirty with you, he calls you his gf fifty times in one conversation

- yeah my GIRLFRIEND loves that show too, yeah my GIRLFRIEND is such a good cook, yeah my GIRLFRIEND is the best person in the world

- he does this all with an unnaturally wide smile on his face too

- he trusts you with his life, he literally would believe you killed a bunch of people before he’d believe you’d cheat on him so you’re not the problem

- his problem lies in other hungry losers who eye you whenever you wear your cute tennis outfits to go practice with him

- has to remind himself it’s not reasonable to fight people who look at you too much </3

- his jealousy problem stems from a deep insecurity that you’ll leave him for the better option

- always incredibly clingy after he gets into one of his jealous moods

- bro needs therapy

Patrick Zweig:

- hear me out yall… i don’t think patrick gets jealous like that

- he knows hes hot shit

- he doesn’t care if people flirt with you because he knows you’ll shut it down and you’re deeply in love with him, why worry?

- once in a while he does get jealous and he’s tweaking BADDD

- his internal monologue goes CRAZY he’s wishing death on everyone n their mother

- in a god awful mood when he’s jealous

- it has nothing to do with you, he trusts you with everything in him he just hates other people perceiving you

- will make out with you in front of people n then give them a subtle middle finger when you’re not looking

- petty as hell before he goes back to being nonchalant

- this happens once a month

- he also needs therapy

Tashi Duncan

- she’s above jealousy

- sure it irks her that people can just look at you but she’s not worried

- you’re deeply in love with her and she’s deeply in love with you so why would she gaf about random people staring at you with heart eyes

- cause she gets it, she also stares at you with heart eyes

- the difference is, your heart eyes are reserved for her n her only

- the majority of jealousy in your relationship comes from your side actually

- how can it not? your girlfriend is the best tennis player in the whole country and everyone loves her

- if she does get jealous, it’s brief

- she communicates her feelings and expects you to do the same so jealousy isn’t really a threat to your relationship

- mature tashi for the win!

[izsheum]

Hello!!!

Can i listen to you yap about rodimus and swerve for hours please 🥺🥺🥺🥺

WHEN I TOLD YOU I JUMPED FOR JOY!!!

ugh these guys have been in my brain for a bit now…i swear

“it’d be cool if i took my favs and made them kiss haha that’d be so silly” and then Boom. I kept thinking.

have some art of them i am in the trenches methinks

when i tell you they are PEAK yapper + louder yapper…

like i genuinely believe that’s how it can start. two losers who love to hear themselves talk? it should be a recipe for disaster.

However.

it’s not like swerve doesn’t know when it’s not his turn to talk. he’s got a big mouth, and criminal levels of audacity, but he has manners. and that means that whenever rodimus goes on and on about whatever bullshit he had to deal with during the day, he listens.

and, good lord, rodimus can definitely talk.

he does so with swerve probably after having a few because i mean…that’s how this starts, surely. a bottle of top-shelf and a purely functional arrangement.

(hundreds of words of sleep-deprivation-induced writing under the cut. i am so sorry. completely sfw btw just barely on the edge of suggestive.)

predictably, swerve’s constant chatter is bearable after rodimus gets in a few drinks. and in the beginning of Whatever The Hell They Got Going On starts with the two of them building a routine.

swerve supplies the shots of liquid stress relief and a listening ear (audio processor? cybertronian anatomy is lost on me), and rodimus provides what can only be described as a semi-coherent stream of complaints and whines about his day. and he has a lot to gripe about—he’s suffering from an acute case of ‘doomed by the narrative’, primus help him.

and swerve, for the most part, is quite a good active listener. not that rodimus would ever admit that out loud (for now) because swerve wouldn’t be able to keep that kinda praise to himself. i mean, the guy raved for months after getting his own rodimus star…yeah, no, not happening. rodimus’ appreciation will remain unspoken, thank you very much.

he gets his sentiment of ‘thank you for listening to my bullshit, you’re such a good friend’ out there by continuing to show up. same time, every day, like clockwork. he’s there in the bar, long laundry list of things he’s going to cry like a baby about, and swerve is at the ready with the fainting couch. their little ‘whine and cheese hour’ (as swerve calls it. rodimus will adamantly deny that he likes the name. it’s not clever. it’s not! it’s apparently a human thing, anyways. little thief.) is probably the only thing he’s ever on-time for at this rate.

having someone listen politely to your woes is. nice! having someone gently try and guide you into solutions to said problems is…manageable, i suppose.

having someone who gasps dramatically and exclaims “i can’t believe you had to deal with that—you’re so much stronger than me for putting up with such scrap” is euphoric.

because since getting the weight of the universe thrust on his shoulders again and again. since he had it ground into him every single day that he needs to be this mature, wise, thoughtful leader who doesn’t react to problems with complaints, but rather calm understanding followed by benevolent resolution…rodimus has completely, truly missed just being able to talk shit.

and, oh, does swerve just love that song and dance.

this isn’t therapy, and neither of them are going to pretend it is, though the constant flow of drinks does manage to feel like something akin to self-medication after a while. their lives are messy, god damn it, and they’re going to cope with it messily!

and cope they do. and they talk. a lot. and—for some reason—it helps. turns out, when you get to vent all your frustrations towards someone who knows how to match your energy exactly, you feel seen. not as this esteemed figure who needs to watch what he says and make sure he keeps up the display of picture-perfect-motivational-cat-poster-leader twenty-four-seven, three-sixty-five…but as just. a guy. a guy with a lot on his shoulders and a lot more on his mind. turns out, talking with swerve ends up helping rodimus feel normal.

go figure.

and somewhere between the start of their little unofficial gossip sessions and the end of another bottle of the good engex, something bubbles up that wasn’t there before. and it isn’t the carbonation in the cocktail.

feelings. affectionate ones. rodimus goes to recharge afterwards all giddy, like some newly forged spark still buzzing with boundless energy, and honestly? he feels like he might be going crazy. might need some actual fucking therapy, because ho-ly shit he is not about to entertain this. not at all.

because, let’s be real here, it’s swerve we’re talking about. swerve. s-w-e-r-v-e. the ‘shut your damn mouth’ guy? he used to annoy the living hell out of rodimus when he first came aboard, and nowadays rodimus finds himself excited at the thought of going to talk to him again.

war changes people…and, okay, the war is. over, technically. but still. maybe he hit his head a little too hard during a mission. yeah! yeah, that’s it. little concussion knocked a couple things loose in his processor. that’s why he’s suddenly wanting to share more than just his woes with the little ‘bot. that’s why he starts asking swerve about himself, why he starts listening back. chimes in every so often with “huh, i never knew that” or “you should show that to me some time” when swerve goes on his little tirades about foreign media.

why rodimus can’t help but wonder how that big mouth would feel against—

phew! yeah, definitely brain damage. because the alternative is that rodimus has started feeling terrible, awful, affectionate things for swerve. and that just won’t do. nope!

but ohhhhhh god, does that do nothing to stop his imagination. because really. how would swerve fare if he used that mouth for something else—

thankfully for rodimus, swerve is an avid fan of imagining things that he can never have. dreaming like the hopeless mech he is about a future that only someone as deeply delusional and para-social as himself could think up.

in his swerve-y fantasy, the talks start to mean something. rodimus goes from coworker to situational friend to…something. something that he can’t place his finger on. but it’s something that he doesn’t believe he can have. because while rodimus laughs at his jokes…he’s also laughing drunk. and swerve is desperate to let people close, sure. he likes people, he wants friends, he loves connection. but he’s not stupid. a bit air-headed? sure. but not dumb. not by a long shot. he has a mental list of things that he can try to have (friendship, a successful business, endless adventures with said friends that he plans to get more of, he swears), and things that are off-limits.

you can guess which box rodimus starts to fall into.

doesn’t mean he can’t…y’know. think about him. a lot. find excuses to comm him about this or that, subtly hint that he misses him…uh, he meant their talks! offer him free drinks just to see the way his face lights up. deny the suspicion of special treatment by reminding rodimus that he’s the captain! c’mon! of course he deserves a little leeway!

and ignore the fact that the reassurance is more for himself.

swerve is so good at believing that this something he imagines with rodimus is so, so far out of reach that he thinks it’s a joke when rodimus propositions him for the first time.

and, c’mon, he’s gotta be having auditory hallucinations. because there’s no fucking way in the world—in the galaxy, or in the whole universes that he’s visited, for that matter—that (co-) captain fucking rodimus prime-not-prime-status-still-pending-thanks-a-lot-matrix-of-lameship asked to borrow him for the evening. he nearly drops the glass in his hand.

because that’s the only way rodimus can bring himself to phrase it when he finally fucking gets through all five-billion stages of grief over this stupid crush. god. he was so pathetic. the worst part was that he didn’t even care anymore.

“yo! are you working tonight? can i borrow you for the rest of it? we can watch that movie you were talking about earlier this week, or whatever.”

or whatever. rodimus would’ve just tossed himself out the nearest airlock if he wasn’t glued to his recharged slab (not literally, this time) rocking back and forth like an asylum patient. he could hear the cries now—nurse! nurse! he’s out again!

successful attempts at being casual: zero. days since last urge to ram his head into the wall: also zero.

swerve’s response comes in quickly just before rodimus contemplates jumping ship and taking a page outta megatron’s book and starting a new life in another universe. and if rodimus wasn’t busy having a fucking panic attack, he’d’ve noticed the undercurrent of excitement in swerve’s voice when he strains out those six little words.

“sure thing! your place or mine?”

it ends up being at rodimus’. more space meant more wall for the projection of ‘Alien’.

not that they ended up paying much attention to the movie by the time the fledgling xenomorph got loose.

and liiiisten. listen. they didn’t plan on it going that way, alright? major props to ridley scott—the two of them were intensely invested in the film for a good long while. but, as per usual, swerve brought drinks to help ease the tension that threatened to smother them as soon as he entered rodimus’ quarters.

he would’ve pat himself on the back, too, if he wasn’t so consumed by the way the light of the projection reflected off of rodimus’ frame. and rodimus would’ve thanked him (and i mean, like, actually thank him, no reluctance left in him whatsoever) if he wasn’t so focused on the warmth of swerve next to him.

the elephant in the room was slaughtered and left for dead in the same way as the crew of the nostromo as soon as they locked eyes.

and rodimus ended up being right.

swerve’s mouth could do a lot more than just talk.

[heylosers06]

It's gonna sound silly if you don't have any but if you do, random batfam headcanons (especially steph, cass, duke, tim, damian) GO

Not silly at all, I don’t have many but you’ll probably see when you’re done reading this that I have more for certain members than others 😭

Steph: she has freckles like totally sunkissed freckles that scatter all across her body. I feel like she tans but has more of a rosy tan instead of a deeper color. She loves children, because well…but anyways I think she would dye her hair and have tinsel in them for a sparkle or a hint of color. Roller derby. I loveee to headcanon that she’s amazing at it and enjoys the sport. Oh and piercings I love to think that she wears tons of chunky jewelry. Has big curly hair that she didn’t know how to take care of when she was younger. Loves hanging out with Barbara and sneaking into Kates place to bother her or ask for advice.

Cass: I know it’s canon but she loves to do ballet. She loves to spar with her siblings especially the younger ones because she likes to share her skills and teach them what she knows in a healthier way than she was taught. Wears Chinese tunics that are gifted from her mother. Wears a mixed of gold and silver jewelry. Goes to therapy…can’t cook like at all it astounds her how a simply thing can be hard. Knits 😭 or does some sort of craft like knitting or pottery.

Tim: uses a silly straw when drinking his energy drinks (he isn’t a coffee addict yall) he listens to all sorts of music and has a messed up playlist. He can sit and work on something without moving for hours (couldn’t be me) I don’t think he’s a party person sorry but I don’t know if he does the entire party scene, but he LOVES having friends over and then partying with them. Skate boards to work 😭

Duke: he is the most cunning in a way. His favorite color isnt even yellow 😭 I’m kidding but that would be funny. The criminals are afraid of him they see him coming in the day??? Oh hell no. He can play the piano and is very good at it. Him and his mother used to teach him. He can cook and he cooks with Damian, he was the one who initiated it. He’s extremely extremely respectful to woman. He likes watching old western movies when he was little he was a cowboy for Halloween. Has locks and teaches his family (the ones with curls) ways to keep their hair healthy. He collects playing card but like yugioh cards and other stuff like that, he loves sailor moon and old 90s anime.

Damian: he can sing very well 😭 idk why but if he can mimic voices perfectly I feel like he can sing. When he has an argument with Bruce or anyone in the family he will leave and fly away with Goliath or Wiggles, sometimes even having them “attack” said family member but it’s only like them flopping on the person. Had a pet tiger in the league (it was Talia’s) and played with the cubs. Since his hair is getting longer I want to say that Nika or a friend gets him claw clips as a joke but he actually wears them. He can play instruments and likes to do graffiti sometimes. Wears ONLY gold jewelry. He has matching outfits with him and Talia 😭 if he gets into a relationship he’s not the one breaking up with them because he loves HARD. And like Duke he pulls his hair and when he lets others do it for him it’s like a great achievement 😭😭

Jason: he’s a loser. I mean it I think he’s so recluse and likes to huddle into the library and read. He’s big hulking even and loves to use that to his advantage when he’s being annoying to his siblings by lying on them. Struggles to find clothes his size so he wears the ugliest lounge clothes. Loves reality tv or any cheesy movie.

Dick: grows his hair out and every time he does a sudden chop the family looks at him with fear and disgust like how children do when their father shaves their face 😭 HE CAN COOK I know he can cook. Also wears chunky jewelry but doesn’t have a set style. Watches old footage of him and his parents acts and cries everytime. Visits zitka. I like to think he still performs on his down time or at least practice and keeps up the skill of being an acrobatic performer.

I hope that was good! Sorry for the ugly grammar I’m rapid firing this. 😭

[toxicroyjamie]

season 4 wishlist (like actually)

Ted taking time away from coaching to focus on himself and going full stay-at-home-soccer-mom mode at home with Henry, then coming back to London a few episodes into the season not to do anything with Richmond but to support Beard as he goes through a messy divorce with Jane

(beardjane divorce obviously)

Dr. Fieldstone back at Richmond and with more personal plotline, I miss her :(

Dr. Jacob out of the picture. There's nothing remotely interesting about this character and the end of season 3 clearly set up a breakup, so bringing him back at all would be a terrible call

Nate becoming a coach again because he's literally a genius like come on

Roy Kent head coach !!!! it literally has to be him it can't be anybody else. it has to be him. it can't be anybody else

Roy's sister getting a name. Do you know how sick it makes me to refer to a female character exclusively as "[man]'s sister" and "[child's] mom"

Keeley single and in therapy. END the unnatural allegiance to losers and START prozac!

Samsimi <3 you don't even know how irritated I was that they didn't let them kiss

JAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :( please I will do anything I will put up with any stupid bullshit plotline I will tolerate him letting his dad move in and telling Roy to go get his girl I just need to see him one last time

[squeakintothevoid]

I genuinely like how awful Slim Shady is.

Okay, I do think he goes overboard sometimes. There's a lot of lyrics you should be offended by, but here's the thing:

I have a form of OCD where I am bombarded by disturbing thoughts. Absolutely heinous and terrifying. Or rude at the very least. But I actually haven't had those thoughts very much for a few years now. You know why?

I learned how to imagine the OCD as a loser 13-year-old edgelord who has nothing better to do, and suddenly it became easier to not be scared of my own thoughts. The fear is what keeps the thoughts coming.

So when I discovered Slim Shady, I was like hey! I have a dumbass prick in my brain too! Shady lyrics made intrusive thoughts so laughable that I can't even take my OCD seriously anymore, I practically don't have it. So maybe I'm insane for laughing at the horrible shit he raps about, but it's so much better than letting these types of thoughts eat me alive.

(p. s. this isn't health advice, go get ERP therapy if you have OCD)

[quindread]

Red Robin: -and that’s that losers.

Chat: [walks in] hey batfam! what’s poppin’?

Spoiler: hey chat! red robin was just bragging about his body count.

Chat: [pauses] like partners or…?

Spoiler: murder

Chat: [oddly brightens up and addresses red robin] oh! so what’s your number?

Red Robin: [shrugs] a few hundreds

Chat: like in one go?

Red Robin: …uh yeah- why are you being so casual about this???

Chat: well with the miraculous cure and all that, almost everyone in the court has ended a life somehow.

Red Hood: well, don’t hold back on my account. spill.

Chat: i know viperion had to remove certain variables to succeed in time loops. maybe a few hundreds for him too?

Signal: it’s always the quiet ones, huh?

Chat: oh yeah! the dragon miraculous is our aoe damage dealer. i don’t think most of the victims recovered after being hit by a bolt of lightning. huh, i always wondered why she always used that one.

Signal: …well, there’s no way my dude carapace could have done damage- he’s like your tank or something, right?

Chat: …

Signal: …. right?

Chat: his shield can shrink….

Signal: ….

Chat: … people inside don’t shrink with it

Signal: jesus

Nightwing: oh, do you! do you!

Chat: [suddenly sheepish] well…

Nightwing: ?? well???

Chat: there was this deleted timeline where i became akumatized and drowned all of paris.

Nightwing: holy shit- that’s like what? millions?

Red Robin: 2 million. damn, are you okay?

Chat: mhmm! ladybug made us all go to therapy.

Robin: … what about her?

Chat: oh! oh. oh….

Red Hood: ???? don’t tell me that tiny thing did more damage than you did! isn’t she like creation and shit??

Chat: no! actually when you think about it, ladybug would be on the same estimate as viperion.

Red Hood: oh, thank fuck!

Chat: multimouse has me beat though.

Red Hood: who??? and how???

Red Robin: [pulls out computer from who knows where] marinette dupain-cheng. temporary hero. was outed in battle-

Spoiler: -oooh pretty-

Red Robin: -powers: dividing into smaller copies, retains original strength. what did she do?????

Chat: it’s not in there but each copy can merge with another miraculous. i think the story goes is that she wore all the miraculous in the mother box and destroyed 3 galaxies including ours.

Everyone: …….

Ladybug: [walks in] hello, everyone! [realizes the tension] errm, what’s wrong?

Robin: [without skipping a beat] is it wise to keep marinette dupain-cheng alive?

Ladybug: [is marinette but they don’t know that] ?????????!!!!!!!!

thought of this after reading that tim freaked out after bruce “died” and blew up a lot of people

[dollhouse-lied]

Random mouthwashing headcannons

All sfw, enjoy!!

Anya

Had a goth phase, still really likes the subculture but doesn't dress like it for work reasons.

Her parents are divorced, and during the divorce she tried self harm to make her parents feel bad but she never did it again

She has a fugly cat at home that she leaves with her roommate while she works. She is very defensive of francis (the cat) and hes her pride and joy

Shes on the aroace spectrum, shes never had a partner and never thought it was necessary.

She values skincare and has so many skincare products on the ship that curly said were “unnecessary”

Constantly warm, she hates the uniform because she gets so hot.

Shes not actually shy and quiet, shes just afraid of slimmothy jimmothy

She gets very heated when its game night and is a sour loser

She doesn't like having no roommates, but is glad she doesn't have to have a boy in her room.

Shes good at nursing, shes just bad at test taking and working under pressure

Her main coping mechanism is retail therapy

Daisuke

Is a dog person, keeps photos of all his dogs on his shelves

All his dogs are from the same litter, a mama and 5 babies. They are all retrievers

Has skincare nights with anya, and if hes lucky she will do his makeup

He likes working out but he likes playing his nintendo ds more

Pretty lazy but is still athletic

He buys multiple of any clothes he likes so he can keep wearing them longer

Dropped out of high school but his mom made him get a ged

Dropped out to be a livestreamer… it didn't go well.

Paints his nails

Hes genderfluid, but mainly sticks to masc presenting and he/him pronouns

He likes sanrio

Is constantly freezing but refuses to put on a jacket (he didnt bring any)

Is roommates with jimmy and hates it because jimmy leaves piss around the toilet and is overall a slob

Loves dancing but is embarrassed to dance in public. Luckily tulpar isnt public so he boogies and grooves

Cheats at every game they play

Curly

Is transmasc but had top and bottom surgery and a hysterectomy so no one can tell

Hes brittish :(

Is very forgiving and kind, always giving 2nd and 3rd chances

Is a workaholic

Super organized, hates clutter

Is a cat person, and has an orange main coon named oakley on earth

Can draw really well!! He doesn't let people see his art though

Likes to work out to release stress, specifically boxing

He likes listening to anya and daisuke talk while they do skin care because it reminds him of when he was young

Likes teenage girl type music

Still gets really insecure about his body shape and face being “womanly” and cant tell anyone but jimmy and jimmy doesn't want to hear it

He and jimmy were childhood friends and jimmy still occasionally misgenders him despite curly transitioning when he was 9

Grew up on a farm

Allergic to shellfish and had to go to the hospital once because of it when he was a kid and it traumatized him so bad he doesn't eat anything that might have touched shellfish

Swansea

Has a wife and 3 kids on earth, two girls and one boy

He loves his wife so much, theyve been married for 30 years

He and his wife got sober together as they were both alcoholics

Is 100% a girl dad, he lets them do his makeup and goes to their dance classes, anything they want

He and his son dont get along very well because he got into drugs and swansea keeps taking him to rehab

Swansea loves Daisuke to death but acts tough to “keep professional”

He feels like daisuke has 0 qualifications for the job but teaches him as best as he can

Gets along with anya but on a surface level, but was there for her when she told him about jimmy

Gets angry easy but has been to therapy for anger management and can keep himself from getting too angry

Genuinely a great guy in bad circumstances, we need more people like Swansea

Jimmy

I hate him

He needs to die

I dont like him one bit

[kwamiwayzz]

Do you have any jeckole Headcanons?

Or:

Jecka Headcanons/Nicole Headcanons (seperatly)

<33

Brain rot coming in. I also want to mention that a majority of these headcanons are rooted in my “Jeckole moving away after graduation and eventually healing years later despite still being a bit fucked up” headcanon. Some headcanons are also inspired by the ones from people who were once super active in the fandom months ago.

Jecka ends up getting accepted to a university in California which leads to her ticket out of her shitty town (she starts with Undecided for some time but ends up choosing pre-med to eventually become a doctor).

Nicole ends up tagging along with her out of convenience at first (she was a bit hesitant at first because she knows she’ll probably bring Jecka down whatever bullshit she gets herself into, but it beats being alone). She also ends up moving out with Jecka because LA is where she’s wanted to go for some time. Also, her mom was actually planning on kicking her out for good (even though her loser brother still gets to freeload).

I personally see Nicole as someone who suffers from extreme depression and self-worth issues due to her upbringing and is more on the cusp of having ASPD (but also, I’m still learning about ASPD, so correct me if it doesn’t work that way).

Jecka has the capability of becoming as fucked up and abusive as her dad. I mostly say this from the scene in Flip Side where she yells at Crispin telling him to off himself, unprovoked.

I also see Jecka as a potential alcoholic with anger issues (if she stayed with her dad any further).

Nicole has a form of cPTSD from her unstable environment and the implication that one of her stepfathers abused her. Even if she were to be placed in a stable environment after high school, the damage has already been done, and she’d still find ways to fuck it up because she every time she felt genuinely a little happy/satisfied with her living situation, it would disappear in puff of smoke.

Nicole ends up on meds and therapy years after moving out of Virginia, but it’s off-and-on.

Jecka also goes on meds and therapy after having a mental breakdown in med school and also after shoving Nicole against a book case during one of their arguments (she’s more consistent with it than Nicole).

During their time living in LA together, Nicole goes homeless three separate times, with one of them being her getting kicked out after Jecka finally had enough of her shit. The last time Nicole goes homeless, it’s after having an extremely difficult time adjusting to the meds and therapy and her cPTSD makes her want to leave because actual stability was getting too real for her.

Despite kicking her out for her bullshit, Jecka still lets Nicole live with her because she’s still codependent on her. Nicole is one of the few people she can be her fucked up self around, and also asked her to come to LA because she didn’t want to be alone either.

Nicole is 1/4 Asian on her dad’s side.

Following Progman’s fic, Jecka sees herself as Nicole’s savior but not entirely in an “I can fix her” type of way.

The only people from high school they still keep in touch with is Emily, with Kelly and Ari added after meeting again at a bar a decade later.

Even though Jecka’s doctor money keeps them both afloat, Nicole ends up working at a bar as a consistent job just to keep herself busy.

The only person from Jecka’s family that she keeps in touch with is her mom. She stays in contact with her dad for financial reasons, but cuts him off after she doesn’t need him anymore.

Nicole cuts off everyone from her family.

Nicole ends up getting sleeve tattoos after being sober from cutting for a significant period of time (I don’t know what the designs would be though).

aurawra21 also mentioned this, but Nicole would probably lean more towards a masc/butch look years after high school. This would include chopping her hair to shoulder length.

I also agree with the general headcanon that Jecka would have abs and have a more toned body compared to Nicole’s stick noodle-like figure.

Nicole would be the type to throw Jecka’s textbook out the window to force her to take a break while studying for med school.

Nicole is a secret nerd/geek (knowing that manga should be read from right to left, liking Mythbusters, used to play video games with her brother—all mentioned somewhere in the original game and Re-Up).

If she cared about school more, Nicole’s favorite subject would probably be chemistry.

Jecka sometimes gets very overprotective over Nicole especially after 1) getting shot by the crazy cop (Re-Up), 2) having nightmares of running to Nicole too late during the People Pleaser Route (Class of ‘09 Suicide Ending), 3) finding out Nicole overdosed/got poisoned by opioids during the very last time she went homeless (Future Timeline headcanon).

I sometimes see Jecka as a pretty neurotic person, who tries and fails to hide it.

When really affectionate, Jecka really loves to kiss Nicole’s neck (angsty reasons in one of my original posts lol).

The two simultaneously make each other better and worse.

They enter an off-and-on situationship for a number of years until they decide to get court married for the benefits.

They wear fake marriage rings when out in public in an effort to try and ward off desperate men. It doesn’t always work, but they’ll never admit to each other that they actually do like wearing them.

Aaaannnddd these are the most that I’ve remembered at the top of my head. I might add more as time goes on, but I love the idea of them reaching adulthood and becoming somewhat more well-adjusted over time.