#the loser goes to therapy

[portmanteaublerone]

cowboy showdown in the old west ghost town but instead of Revolver Quickdraw between the ranger and outlaw it’s Who Can Say “Yeah” with the Most Solemnity, Solidarity, and Sincerity

[oplishin]

In 2022, seth weaponized his history with Roman against him, and it uh. Didn’t go so hot for him, it ended with Roman murdering him with a steel chair.

In 2024, seth does the same trick again, and Roman’s ready for it! Hits him before he can even really get in the ring. But Seth’s learned in ways Roman hasn’t. He knows now that if Roman has the chance to get him back, to hurt him, he can’t resist (i am thinking about how Roman went back to hit Seth in 2022, even after everything was over). And Seth uses his own self destruction to help Cody.

It’s a fabulous character arc/moment: jn 2022 he selfishly tries to manipulate Roman, in 2024 he unselfishly uses the same strategy because he knows Roman hurting him will save Cody.

Big fan of incredible lack of self preservation and willingness to do himself harm here!!! And the fact that Seth very very literally recreated his initial betrayal as an act of penance. There’s no way he brought that steel chair to the ring thinking he was going to be able to use it.

[jellyaibo]

today i realized ive had my loser plush for.....what...2 years now??? and already shes a bit worn from all hte time ive spent w her (colors are a bit de-saturated, has some wrinkles/creases, shes a bit dirty too but im gna clean her again soon)

it makes me kinda emotional like . wow to be loved is to be changed

[footaddiction]

Here's a cold hard truth, Beta loser.

You're never going to want pussy like a real man does. And no amount of NoFap, Therapy or Re-inventing yourself is going to change that.

You need feet how real men need sex.

And because there's more girls interested in sex than there are those interested in foot play, it's inevitable that you'll wind up paying to satisfy your foot fetish.

That's just the way it goes...

[merakiui]

a few halloweenie details i think are fun and silly:

✧ you drag rollo clothes and lingerie shopping just so no one will bother you or try to talk to you. and he just naturally looks like your boyfriend because he insists on holding all your bags and sticking close (none of these stores are for him): "if i don't, you'll set them wherever you please and someone might steal them. it's better if i hold them to avoid that." (he cares.)

✧ you and rollo share a car, and the majority of the car's issues (stains on the seat, crack in windshield, broken door handle, etc) can be attributed to you. ^^;;; rollo is hesitant to lend you the car, but you beg and plead with him and it gets annoying, so he relents.

✧ gidel can very clearly see the romantic tensions between you and skully, so it's no coincidence he often pulls the two of you to the back so you can unbox merchandise together. (thank you for your service, gidel.)

✧ you steal cheap cosmetics from the SFX section in fellow's shop, and he only allows it because you are (unfortunately for him) an essential worker to this operation. 😔 he can't fire you because who else is going to turn a blind eye to his dubious business practices?

✧ skully is always worried you're going to fall in love with your roommate. rollo assures him that will never happen. he later writes an entry about it in his jack skellington diary titled: excellent news!!!!!!!! :D

✧ fellow has worked with these losers (affectionate) long enough that he feels comfortable enough to let down just a sliver of his showman façade. it goes right back up the minute you try asking for a raise, though. even though it may not seem so at first glance, fellow does care for the lot of you in his own unique ways.

✧ you affectionately call skully "skulls."

✧ you have a little coffin case to keep your cigarettes in and skully thinks it's the most fascinating thing.

✧ skully will do whatever fellow tells him to do because he thinks he's a "good soul with a fluffy heart." you'll never understand why he's such a yes-man when it comes to fellow, but the truth is that if it wasn't for fellow hiring him skully would've never met the people he now calls his friends.

✧ skully writes lots of (erotic) poetry about you and journals his feelings regarding you. everyone just assumes he's writing about tnbc or jack skellington whenever he has his nose in those pages.

✧ you and rollo like to cyberstalk your classmates when you're both on shift and the day is slow. therapy is expensive, but gossiping together is free and fun.

✧ skully thinks it's really hot when you smoke and there's a lipstick ring imprinted around the cigarette when it's pulled from your lips.

✧ gidel drew skully a "(name) affection chart" to mark off skully's progress in successfully wooing you. skully rambles about you a lot when you aren't around, so it didn't take a genius to understand where this was coming from. once, you and rollo had to take off and so it was just fellow and gidel with skully. fellow says he'll never do it again because every chance skully got he was going on about: "i'm just not certain... are we friends? do you think my lovely (name) considers me a dear friend? am i troubling her? i don't cause her trouble, do i?" T_T skully thinks the love chart (which is really just a heart gidel gradually colors in whenever he feels like it) is the best thing ever: "my dear gidel, you're a genius!!! >w<" and gidel is just proud to be praised. >:3 (fellow taught him that one to get skully to hush up with the (name) monologue. ^^;;;)

[satoruxx]

sorry to go feral in your inbox but ghostface!miguel who is crazy about you (in a good way I promise) and does everything in his power to protect you and keep those horrible college guys from your classes away from you but you only know him as the mysterious gravelly voice who calls you every night that you’ve grown fond of as your personal lullaby-

pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader | 1.5k words summary: ghostface!miguel, stalking, possessive miguel, violence, death, killing, obsessive behavior, suggestive, killer miguel ofc, reader is WAY too trusting, miggy just loves you so much !! rheya’s note: NONNIE BABES YOU GENIUS !! he absolutely would oh my fucking god. i am so normal about this (going feral) i was literally squealing while writing this it was rough. why is this concept hot? do i need therapy? probably. anyways he's a creep in this but in a good way? (the way this ask literally got me inspired to draw ghostface!miguel UGH) anyways ENJOY !!

miguel isn't a bad guy. he's not. he's one of the good guys actually, a hero. he's always been a hero.

it's not his fault that there are some assholes in the world that are fucked up, preying on innocent people who just want to live their lives.

sweet, innocent people like you.

how a girl as sweet and precious as you managed to get yourself surrounded by such horrible people is beyond him. and you're so nice too, always assuming that nobody has it out for you or that everyone has some good in them. with that mindset, you were just asking to be put in danger.

so, being the hero that he is, it's his obligation to look out for you, right?

it starts off quietly. he doesn't make an effort to connect with you, choosing to watch you from the shadows as he silently tracks your day. miguel is nothing if not observant, mentally noting every single person you interact with or looks your way. and if they get a little too close, a little too comfortable? well, then he'd just have to take care of that for you, wouldn't he?

he hates that one flirty coworker of yours, always leaning a little too close to you and chatting like he's your fucking boyfriend. miguel can see the little crease of discomfort in your brows whenever that coworker is nearby, and he decides that he hates that expression on you. but you feel fine afterwards, because when your coworker goes missing the next day, you send a quick thank you to the heavens, trying to push down your guilt.

he finds out that you try to make some extra money by tutoring a guy at your school. and when miguel watches the two of you through the windows of the library he feels hatred like no other run through his veins because he doesn't like how this guy looks at you. that asshole probably didn't even need tutoring to begin with, using it as a pathetic excuse to get close to you. what a fucking joke. but you don't have to stress about tutoring anymore because the next day you get a text saying the kid has transferred schools. you never hear from him again.

oh but the worst ones are the ones who ask you out on dates. they don't even know how lucky they are, getting to see you all dolled up and pretty for them, only to absolutely destroy your hopes for a good time. it makes miguel so angry he sees red. every fucking time one of those losers makes a comment that has your shoulders slumping with disappointment, a miserable frown on your pretty lips by the end of the night, he feels sick to his stomach. but he hopes that when you see your date's body on the news the next morning, you won't be so disappointed anymore.

only after watching over you for a while does miguel decide to finally talk to you, finding the perfect hiding spot to watch you through your window as you pick up your ringing phone. he has to stop himself from groaning because your voice sounds so much sweeter when it's in his ear, smooth and precious as you ask who it is. and he can't resist playing with you, dying to hear more as he sighs behind his mask.

"tell me your name and maybe i'll tell you mine." miguel answers, gravelly voice practically purring through the speaker. he can see the confusion on your face as you pace your kitchen, reaching for a bag of chips before walking back to your couch and settling in to watch a movie. he hears the screams from the tv and bites his lip. "what's that noise?"

"a movie." you reply, the expression on your face getting less guarded as you listen to his voice.

"a scary movie?" he asks, leaning against the edge of the roof so that he's got the perfect view of you. you take a chip and pop it in your mouth, chewing quietly, and he follows the movement of your lips with eager eyes.

"mhm," you nod, and miguel thinks it's so fucking cute the way you move your head even though you think he can't see you.

"you like scary movies?" he asks with a hum, and you voice out a yes. his eyes remain hooded and attentive as he effortlessly continues the conversation. "you got a favorite, sweetheart?"

he catches the way you melt under his sweet words, and miguel decides then and there that he's never letting you go. he listens to your answers with a grin, tucking his knife away and watching you animatedly talk to him for the remainder of the night.

and the rest is history.

you tell him about a guy who's bothering you? he'll bury him. someone made you cry? he'll break their legs. your date stood you up? he'll stab them so many times he loses count. and then after all of that, he'll call you like he always does, rumbling honeylike words into his phone as he casually watches you from behind his mask.

"and how was your day today, sweetheart?" he'll drawl out, late at night as he perches on the neighboring roof to your apartment. with the way he's angled he can perfectly see the innocent little smile on your face as you settle in bed, talking on the phone like you're not scared of him at all.

and you shouldn't be, because he'd never hurt you, of course.

some nights you'll giddily tell him about the most exciting parts of your day, smiling and giggling until you fall asleep without a care in the world. but on the nights when you complain or whine about somebody that's made you upset, wronged you, or god forbid, showed interest in you? well, those are the nights miguel has to grit his teeth and clench his fists, trying to control the flare of pure rage that courses through him. he lulls you to sleep with sweet words, trying to keep his cool but still vibrating with anger because who the fuck do they think they are, getting near you like that?

"don't worry, pretty girl," he sighs into the phone, twirling his knife between his fingers. "i'm sure they'll stop bothering you soon enough."

and they do. but you being the precious oblivious little thing you are, assume that you're just lucky. a guardian angel, you had said, was watching over you. miguel had just chuckled into the phone, deep and rich as he smirked at you from the roof once again.

"guardian angel? well lucky you, huh?" he had asked, feeling all too pleased with himself. you agreed with a nod.

well, if that's what you wanted to see him as he had no problem playing guardian angel for you.

and no he doesn't even want you to find out, because the last thing he wants to do is scare you. no no, he'd much rather protect you from the shadows, eliminating every single threat could ever harm a hair on your pretty little head. his reward comes in the form of you living your life, carefree smiles and all.

and granted he feels much more rewarded when he calls you late at night, deep voice teasing with an underlying sense of possessiveness as he speaks to you about anything and everything. he doesn't understand why and how you decided that he was safe to talk to, but you do, laughing and sighing into the phone until you've dozed off.

and if you've accidentally left your windows open, well of course being the gentleman he is, miguel will close them for you. but not before he stands at your bedside, raising his mask to watch you sleep peacefully. such a pretty little thing, so sweet and gentle. and after pulling himself away from your sleeping form, he quietly shuts the window behind him, yanking his mask back down with a smirk because he doesn't want anyone else to see you all vulnerable like that.

you were too trusting to begin with, but you trusting him is alright. after all he's the only one who's been looking out for you. anyone else tries to get near you and he'll have no choice but to tear their limbs off. they could be a threat to you, right?

but that's why he'll never let you out of his sight.

you're his after all.

[artydonsgf]

love your account! maybe jealous art, patrick, or tashi headcanons? like individually them and reader. can be nsfw or not :)

thank you lovely!! i’m so glad to hear that🥹🫶🏾 i’ll do you one better n just do all three of them!

enjoy jealous art, patrick, and tashi :)

Art Donaldson:

- extremely jealous

- literally feels sick with jealousy

- terrible at hiding his jealousy too

- if he feels someone is being too flirty with you, he calls you his gf fifty times in one conversation

- yeah my GIRLFRIEND loves that show too, yeah my GIRLFRIEND is such a good cook, yeah my GIRLFRIEND is the best person in the world

- he does this all with an unnaturally wide smile on his face too

- he trusts you with his life, he literally would believe you killed a bunch of people before he’d believe you’d cheat on him so you’re not the problem

- his problem lies in other hungry losers who eye you whenever you wear your cute tennis outfits to go practice with him

- has to remind himself it’s not reasonable to fight people who look at you too much </3

- his jealousy problem stems from a deep insecurity that you’ll leave him for the better option

- always incredibly clingy after he gets into one of his jealous moods

- bro needs therapy

Patrick Zweig:

- hear me out yall… i don’t think patrick gets jealous like that

- he knows hes hot shit

- he doesn’t care if people flirt with you because he knows you’ll shut it down and you’re deeply in love with him, why worry?

- once in a while he does get jealous and he’s tweaking BADDD

- his internal monologue goes CRAZY he’s wishing death on everyone n their mother

- in a god awful mood when he’s jealous

- it has nothing to do with you, he trusts you with everything in him he just hates other people perceiving you

- will make out with you in front of people n then give them a subtle middle finger when you’re not looking

- petty as hell before he goes back to being nonchalant

- this happens once a month

- he also needs therapy

Tashi Duncan

- she’s above jealousy

- sure it irks her that people can just look at you but she’s not worried

- you’re deeply in love with her and she’s deeply in love with you so why would she gaf about random people staring at you with heart eyes

- cause she gets it, she also stares at you with heart eyes

- the difference is, your heart eyes are reserved for her n her only

- the majority of jealousy in your relationship comes from your side actually

- how can it not? your girlfriend is the best tennis player in the whole country and everyone loves her

- if she does get jealous, it’s brief

- she communicates her feelings and expects you to do the same so jealousy isn’t really a threat to your relationship

- mature tashi for the win!

[anniebass]

baby don't be mad

1.3k word actverse ficlet under the jump rating: M tags: dialogue-heavy, beginning of the relationship, the boys are arguinggg, old man eddie's being a clueless slut, and also a dweeb, and steve's being... a person that rly needs therapy lol

Rapid catchups, they name it, though it doesn’t really need a name, it’s basically just talking. Early on Eddie realizes he doesn’t know all that much about his sexy old-but-new long distance serious boyfriend, that he possesses a fuckton of outdated information, that, duh, people change, especially in the long-ass time they spent apart. That the habits and opinions of a twenty-year-old shithead don’t necessarily last until someone’s forties.

That evening, they do the rapid catchups, starting off easy, prompted by the takeout dinner they have at Steve’s: best Asian food, go, at which without a second thought Steve says Chinese, while Eddie goes with Japanese, love me some sushi, yum. Later, when they’re full of kung pao and mapo tofu, lazily digesting on the couch, half-watching an old movie where Sharon Stone saunters across the screen and smolders at bad men, Steve says: you have to sleep with a woman, any woman in the world, dead or alive, go.

Eddie groans and slides down the couch, throws his hands up: dude, I don’t know! Uh, like maybe— Cleopatra? Or maybe one of those amazonian greek warriors with one boobie?

So, no one you actually know the face of? he says, with a little smirk.

Man, I don’t— I mean, there are some beautiful women walking this earth, like stunning stunning women I can’t get enough of, but that don’t mean I want to fuck them! My willy shrinks at the thought, he explains meekly, and shrugs, clicking his tongue: I dunno, maybe Eartha Kitt? She seems very fun.

Good choice, mutters Steve, and to Eddie’s your turn he tilts his head, scratches his nose: I don’t know if that question really applies to me. But if I had to have a sex list, it would be… Linda Evangelista? Or Sharon, she’s hot. Or— yeah, Monica Belucci, Jesus. Her, definitely. If not her then Cleopatra, that’s actually a great answer, she must have been good for all that shit to go down around her, he says with a smile, and Eddie sighs dreamily, oh, I’d love to watch. From the closet, imagine myself in her place. In a little egyptian wig, he adds, to which Steve snorts, rolling his eyes.

Alright, my turn. Best casual sex you’ve ever had, go, says Eddie, and Steve hums at that, leans back on the couch, rubbing his chin, mumbling under his breath, until he sighs and says: I actually didn’t have that much of it beyond my teens, and what I had back then was very… teenaged, y’know. And in that short gap between my first and second wife I slept with just three people, two dudes and one woman, and neither of those was mind-blowing. The guys were kinda disappointing, I thought after so many years of straight sex I’d be blown away, but it was just… okay. Actually—, he adds, shaking his head: it sucked. I was drunk, they were drunk, I don’t remember much of it. Or don’t want to. I remember stinky balls. So, I dunno—, he says, and sighs, and glances at him: am I a big loser if I say the best one was when we reconnected? Could say it was still casual back then, right? When we fucked in the church, or by the pool, or—, yeah, there was a lot of it, on that trip.

It really was magical, agrees Eddie, smiling at him.

So, uh, your turn, says Steve. Best you've ever had, go.

Oh, man, mutters Eddie. I know my answer to that. Japan, in the mid-nineties. We were on tour and stayed for a few nights in Tokyo, and I got to explore the city, research shit with the help of a very discreet translator, and finally, on our last night there, I ended up in a gay bar. Very hush-hush, a basement place hidden away in some grimy back alley, he says, lowering his voice into sultry tones of gossip. Met a guy there, this… slightly chubby middle-aged businessman type, suit and tie and briefcase, wedding ring on his finger, very regular looking guy, and we drank sake through the night, sang some karaoke, and ended up in some seedy by-the-hour love hotel. He didn’t know who I was, didn’t speak a lick of English, I was obviously drunk, but I still remember that night like it was yesterday. God, just— the way that guy fucked me, the way he seemed to know every inch of my body without having seen it before, the way he just knew what I wanted without any language, it was insane. We did it a few times that one night, practically without stopping, and never saw each other again. I actually jerk off to that memory to this day.

To this, Steve lets out a small hm, purses his lips and leans back, crossing his arms, and Eddie clicks his tongue, leaning closer, touching his shoulder: aw, don’t be jealous. That was casual, but out of all people, of course you are my number one, no contest. I just— remember that one time in Japan, because it worked so well without language, and that’s always kinda hot. Language of love, all that cheesy stuff. Up to that point and following it, it'd mostly happen with some hot Brazilians.

Okay, he says.

Eddie sighs, watching his face: Steve, you know that’s what my life was like back then, this neverending barrage of hookups. And most of those weren’t even that good, like, you talk of stinky balls? I met dozens, slobbered over them anyway like they were fucking Ferrero Rocher!, he says to a small groan in return, then sighs, speaks softer: being with you is a completely different quality from that, even from my previous relationships. It’s way different. With Marcell, we both slept around, there wasn’t much that we had in common beyond, like, incredible attraction at the beginning, and the fact that we work in the same industry, could endlessly talk about that. And with Zu, we— we really loved each other, but we weren’t a good fit. It was this weird thing where she needed someone more masc, but also I needed someone more masc, he says with an amused scoff. We were two bottoms in love, and it’s hard to make it work in the long term, without fucking other people. We’re way better off as friends. And the other dudes I dated, it was just— me being a drunken asshole, most of the time. I was a very shitty boyfriend for a looong-ass time.

There’s a stretch of silence, and Steve slides down the couch, still frowning: man… I just wonder why you asked that question in the first place. Because it seems to me like you wanted to brag a little about this incredible hookup you had in fucking… Japan. Do you miss fucking other people, Eddie?

He sighs, rakes a hand through his hair: Steve, I literally just told you I don’t. I might romanticize it, the— the way I might romanticize being on drugs, but I don’t want to go back to that. I asked because I want to know everything about you! I dunno, I— I guess I like Japan. It’s such a weird place, I really want to go back there, he says and inches closer, placing a calm hand on his thigh: come with me. Like, for two weeks or something. We’d take the girls with us, go in the summer or for the spring break. Would be cool to just wander around, shop, sing karaoke, eat tons of good food. Go to Kyoto, see the geishas, tea ceremony. Go to hot springs. Japan’s truly like no place you’ve ever been to.

I didn't know you liked it that much. A trip does sound nice, says Steve, with a small smile. Emily would go crazy, she loves those cartoons. Chels would like it too, I think.

Eddie smiles and squeezes his leg: sounds like a plan. Also, just to— get it out of the way: from the moment you first kissed me, I stopped thinking of us as casual. I was, like, fully fully back in love with you in point two seconds. Even before that, to be honest. If I ever for a single moment considered that a hookup, it’d totally blow that businessman out of the water. If you want, I could show you, uh, how I blew him out of the— fucking—, he falters, then snorts: sorry, failed metaphor. But you catch my drift.

Yes, please, says Steve.

[toxicroyjamie]

season 4 wishlist (like actually)

Ted taking time away from coaching to focus on himself and going full stay-at-home-soccer-mom mode at home with Henry, then coming back to London a few episodes into the season not to do anything with Richmond but to support Beard as he goes through a messy divorce with Jane

(beardjane divorce obviously)

Dr. Fieldstone back at Richmond and with more personal plotline, I miss her :(

Dr. Jacob out of the picture. There's nothing remotely interesting about this character and the end of season 3 clearly set up a breakup, so bringing him back at all would be a terrible call

Nate becoming a coach again because he's literally a genius like come on

Roy Kent head coach !!!! it literally has to be him it can't be anybody else. it has to be him. it can't be anybody else

Roy's sister getting a name. Do you know how sick it makes me to refer to a female character exclusively as "[man]'s sister" and "[child's] mom"

Keeley single and in therapy. END the unnatural allegiance to losers and START prozac!

Samsimi <3 you don't even know how irritated I was that they didn't let them kiss

JAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :( please I will do anything I will put up with any stupid bullshit plotline I will tolerate him letting his dad move in and telling Roy to go get his girl I just need to see him one last time

[ineffectualdemon]

Summary of the whole Colleen Ballinger situation

I am not someone who watches a lot of YouTubers especially not a lot of original YouTubers but I do occasionally watch drama videos about people I have never watched because I'm a nosy bitch who likes gossip

But the Colleen Ballinger situation is so much more than drama. I've been following it since it blew up three weeks ago and here is the summary of the situation if you're interested

Three years ago when he was 17 YouTuber Adam McIntyre made a video calling out Colleen for running a behind the scenes smear campaign against him and briefly touched on the fact that she had an inappropriate relationship with him which included sending him underwear when he was 13

She made an "apology" video and won the sympathy vote and he was harassed by her fans and generally not believed for 3 years

3 weeks ago another YouTuber named Kodee put out a video proving that they worked with Colleen behind the scenes to smear Adam and came out with a lot more proof that Colleen was being very inappropriate with minors in a private group chat. A lot of which was her asking Adam things like what his favourite sex position was when he was 15. (Side note: Kodee is a whole thing on their own) Adam at age 20 has realised she used him as unpaid labour and groomed him

Adam, while not ready for this stuff to be out there, decided to advocate for himself and shared more proof. Partly because he was relieved to have been finally vindicated. He is now 20 and realising fully how messed up her behaviour was to him and wants to defend past him

All this coming out has led to other former fans that Colleen, her friend Kory, and her brother have been inappropriate with, groomed, abused, or sexualised as children coming forward to share their stories and how they are just now, as they reach adulthood, realising how traumatic a lot of that stuff was

There are a lot of accusations and they have gotten progressively worse

Adam sought out therapy to help him process all this trauma he had kept hidden out of shame only for the world to find out (remember he didn't bring most of the inappropriate sexual comment stuff forward initially. Kodee did)

Colleen is silent for 3 weeks as this all goes down

Last night she releases a video on her 3rd channel titled "hi." Where she pulls out a fucking ukulele and sings a silly little song about how everyone is lying and tried to turn it around and make herself the victim. She's not a groomer! Just a loser! And yeah she did talk to kids in group chats and overshare but she wasn't creepy about it! She promises! While providing 0 proof to defend herself

It goes down exactly as you would expect

And that's where things stand rn

It's a fucking mess

I really feel for the victims especially Adam

The one good thing to come out of all of this is from my perspective is it has led to some very important conversations in my house with my teenager about parasocial relationships, internet safety, and appropriate boundaries

[heylosers06]

It's gonna sound silly if you don't have any but if you do, random batfam headcanons (especially steph, cass, duke, tim, damian) GO

Not silly at all, I don’t have many but you’ll probably see when you’re done reading this that I have more for certain members than others 😭

Steph: she has freckles like totally sunkissed freckles that scatter all across her body. I feel like she tans but has more of a rosy tan instead of a deeper color. She loves children, because well…but anyways I think she would dye her hair and have tinsel in them for a sparkle or a hint of color. Roller derby. I loveee to headcanon that she’s amazing at it and enjoys the sport. Oh and piercings I love to think that she wears tons of chunky jewelry. Has big curly hair that she didn’t know how to take care of when she was younger. Loves hanging out with Barbara and sneaking into Kates place to bother her or ask for advice.

Cass: I know it’s canon but she loves to do ballet. She loves to spar with her siblings especially the younger ones because she likes to share her skills and teach them what she knows in a healthier way than she was taught. Wears Chinese tunics that are gifted from her mother. Wears a mixed of gold and silver jewelry. Goes to therapy…can’t cook like at all it astounds her how a simply thing can be hard. Knits 😭 or does some sort of craft like knitting or pottery.

Tim: uses a silly straw when drinking his energy drinks (he isn’t a coffee addict yall) he listens to all sorts of music and has a messed up playlist. He can sit and work on something without moving for hours (couldn’t be me) I don’t think he’s a party person sorry but I don’t know if he does the entire party scene, but he LOVES having friends over and then partying with them. Skate boards to work 😭

Duke: he is the most cunning in a way. His favorite color isnt even yellow 😭 I’m kidding but that would be funny. The criminals are afraid of him they see him coming in the day??? Oh hell no. He can play the piano and is very good at it. Him and his mother used to teach him. He can cook and he cooks with Damian, he was the one who initiated it. He’s extremely extremely respectful to woman. He likes watching old western movies when he was little he was a cowboy for Halloween. Has locks and teaches his family (the ones with curls) ways to keep their hair healthy. He collects playing card but like yugioh cards and other stuff like that, he loves sailor moon and old 90s anime.

Damian: he can sing very well 😭 idk why but if he can mimic voices perfectly I feel like he can sing. When he has an argument with Bruce or anyone in the family he will leave and fly away with Goliath or Wiggles, sometimes even having them “attack” said family member but it’s only like them flopping on the person. Had a pet tiger in the league (it was Talia’s) and played with the cubs. Since his hair is getting longer I want to say that Nika or a friend gets him claw clips as a joke but he actually wears them. He can play instruments and likes to do graffiti sometimes. Wears ONLY gold jewelry. He has matching outfits with him and Talia 😭 if he gets into a relationship he’s not the one breaking up with them because he loves HARD. And like Duke he pulls his hair and when he lets others do it for him it’s like a great achievement 😭😭

Jason: he’s a loser. I mean it I think he’s so recluse and likes to huddle into the library and read. He’s big hulking even and loves to use that to his advantage when he’s being annoying to his siblings by lying on them. Struggles to find clothes his size so he wears the ugliest lounge clothes. Loves reality tv or any cheesy movie.

Dick: grows his hair out and every time he does a sudden chop the family looks at him with fear and disgust like how children do when their father shaves their face 😭 HE CAN COOK I know he can cook. Also wears chunky jewelry but doesn’t have a set style. Watches old footage of him and his parents acts and cries everytime. Visits zitka. I like to think he still performs on his down time or at least practice and keeps up the skill of being an acrobatic performer.

I hope that was good! Sorry for the ugly grammar I’m rapid firing this. 😭

[squeakintothevoid]

I genuinely like how awful Slim Shady is.

Okay, I do think he goes overboard sometimes. There's a lot of lyrics you should be offended by, but here's the thing:

I have a form of OCD where I am bombarded by disturbing thoughts. Absolutely heinous and terrifying. Or rude at the very least. But I actually haven't had those thoughts very much for a few years now. You know why?

I learned how to imagine the OCD as a loser 13-year-old edgelord who has nothing better to do, and suddenly it became easier to not be scared of my own thoughts. The fear is what keeps the thoughts coming.

So when I discovered Slim Shady, I was like hey! I have a dumbass prick in my brain too! Shady lyrics made intrusive thoughts so laughable that I can't even take my OCD seriously anymore, I practically don't have it. So maybe I'm insane for laughing at the horrible shit he raps about, but it's so much better than letting these types of thoughts eat me alive.

(p. s. this isn't health advice, go get ERP therapy if you have OCD)

[quindread]

Red Robin: -and that’s that losers.

Chat: [walks in] hey batfam! what’s poppin’?

Spoiler: hey chat! red robin was just bragging about his body count.

Chat: [pauses] like partners or…?

Spoiler: murder

Chat: [oddly brightens up and addresses red robin] oh! so what’s your number?

Red Robin: [shrugs] a few hundreds

Chat: like in one go?

Red Robin: …uh yeah- why are you being so casual about this???

Chat: well with the miraculous cure and all that, almost everyone in the court has ended a life somehow.

Red Hood: well, don’t hold back on my account. spill.

Chat: i know viperion had to remove certain variables to succeed in time loops. maybe a few hundreds for him too?

Signal: it’s always the quiet ones, huh?

Chat: oh yeah! the dragon miraculous is our aoe damage dealer. i don’t think most of the victims recovered after being hit by a bolt of lightning. huh, i always wondered why she always used that one.

Signal: …well, there’s no way my dude carapace could have done damage- he’s like your tank or something, right?

Chat: …

Signal: …. right?

Chat: his shield can shrink….

Signal: ….

Chat: … people inside don’t shrink with it

Signal: jesus

Nightwing: oh, do you! do you!

Chat: [suddenly sheepish] well…

Nightwing: ?? well???

Chat: there was this deleted timeline where i became akumatized and drowned all of paris.

Nightwing: holy shit- that’s like what? millions?

Red Robin: 2 million. damn, are you okay?

Chat: mhmm! ladybug made us all go to therapy.

Robin: … what about her?

Chat: oh! oh. oh….

Red Hood: ???? don’t tell me that tiny thing did more damage than you did! isn’t she like creation and shit??

Chat: no! actually when you think about it, ladybug would be on the same estimate as viperion.

Red Hood: oh, thank fuck!

Chat: multimouse has me beat though.

Red Hood: who??? and how???

Red Robin: [pulls out computer from who knows where] marinette dupain-cheng. temporary hero. was outed in battle-

Spoiler: -oooh pretty-

Red Robin: -powers: dividing into smaller copies, retains original strength. what did she do?????

Chat: it’s not in there but each copy can merge with another miraculous. i think the story goes is that she wore all the miraculous in the mother box and destroyed 3 galaxies including ours.

Everyone: …….

Ladybug: [walks in] hello, everyone! [realizes the tension] errm, what’s wrong?

Robin: [without skipping a beat] is it wise to keep marinette dupain-cheng alive?

Ladybug: [is marinette but they don’t know that] ?????????!!!!!!!!

thought of this after reading that tim freaked out after bruce “died” and blew up a lot of people

[rebootgrimm]

“My childhood was shit, this feels like it could be helpful. And maybe the day after I get released from the hospital? I don’t wanna spring a session on her, yknow?”

(part 2 of the roleplay where Zaria fucking dies /silly /nsrs /she doesn’t die dw I just wanted to say that so badly)

*About 5-10 mins later, Zaria woke up in her own hospital bed, very confused*

“How?… I- what???”

“Zaria! Your awake!!!”

Sora proceeds to hug Zaria gently, his eyes look red. Was he crying???

“You fainted, so I had to call the nurses! You really worried me, Sweetie!!!!”

He cups her face gently.

“You wouldn’t wake for a whole 10 minutes!!!”

[ghouldtime]

I didn't mean that he's crazy or toxic or anything. And that's why I said I wasn't sure possessive was the word i was looking for. I have trouble with phrasing. Nor did I mean that reader is small and weak? Or that he has to be with them every second of every day or gets upset if they don't include him in plans? Only send my asks or requests to you because i like your Konig. Hes not crazy or toxic or "loser!"konig I'm not trying to be mean, please don't think I'm being mean, I just feel like you think I was saying he's a crazy possessive guy like how one particular blog who I will not name portrays him. I just meant that if even with all his measures to protect them they still become leverage some how and his unit has to go get them to safety because as a civilian, no matter how strong and capable you are if a terrorist organization comes for you, you're probably not going to be able to take them all on your own and would need to be extracted like any other hostage situation. But it would be their first time seeing the side of König that he tried and successfully kept from them and now there's nothing he can do to make you unsee it. Would he be afraid your view would change or that you would only see him as his military self rather than who he is outside of the military. I'm trying to explain better. I just feel like got mad at me a bit but maybe you didn't, I have trouble interpreting tones so everything written sounds monotone in my mind as I read it. When i say possessive I mean like..."you are now the love in my life and I will do everything to keep you safe from the evil I've seen first hand." But I don't think he would like...watch? You know like how people say he will watch like a hawk and judge everyone you talk to or follow you around like even to a shop or something. Like he would walk closer to the road if you're walking somewhere or like my dad my mom always had to be like in front of him. Not a large gap but my mom and me and my brother couldn't walk behind him he had to be able to see our backs. So we would be like a little bit in front of my dad. And personally I feel that he would be hypervigelant of his surroundings and by extension their surroundings, especially if he's fresh from deployment. Not to the extent of peeking around every corner or checking under the bed like a baby but I think it's normal that someone who has seen what he has seen would be a bit paranoid. Like ptsd amd triggers like fireworks and stuff. My dad was like that once we were in a park and a car made like a gun shot sound and he froze for a minute. I fell from the swing because I hit him when I came down lol. It is normal for soldiers to be like that. Then the longer he was home he would kind of relax a bit and get back to being at home but fir weeks after he would come back that is how he would be, he got therapy to help.

My apologies if I came off as aggressive or anything, but I really thought you meant like that. The second anyone usually mentions anything with possessiveness (a trait the fannon loves assigning to him constantly), that's where my mind goes cause I don't write him even close to that. I'm not mad haha I'm just explaining my König isn't how most people will interpret him. He would be hypervigilant and IS, that's why he takes so many security measures. Even if it is residential and a safe area, he's got plans for a reason. He knows he's a wanted man. Nothing will ever remove that feeling from him but his house is as close as he can get to having normalcy/privacy and that sense of at least owning a slice of domestic like.

And I hate to break this, but in the event that you would be kidnapped under such circumstances - you wouldn't be seeing him ever again. That means that not only did he and his safety measures fail, but they now KNEW he has someone close to him. And they've already taken it and used it to their advantage. They'd do it again. You'd never be safe if you were near him and he kept talking to you. They would've found out his identity to do such, they would've had to track him down and watch him, they would've needed an inside person. His whole life there would be compromised, he couldn't continue living there, or going forwards as he had.

There's also the significant fact that, even if you WERE kidnapped, you wouldn't be seeing his face when he came to the rescue. He'd be decked out in his full gear. He wouldn't be saying his name, you don't know him as König - he's NEVER revealed that part to you and won't want you to see him and memorize him as that. You can think you recognize those eyes, you can think he sounds similar - but he's a whole different man. He's never someone who yelled around you or threw orders or acted even close, he's not someone who matches the guy in front of you then and there.

It's not like the terrorists or people who kidnaped you and used you as live bait would be sitting there, monologuing why they're doing what they're doing. You're a hostage, a bargaining chip. Why would they tell you that you're actually being held like that because of your neighbor, who has NEVER indicated any of this stuff to you, and that by the way he's actually a highly trained military killer! Not to mention there's really no reason to believe the people holding you for ransom.

He's certainly not going to tell you either or reveal that.

He doesn't want to be stuck in your memories as being the guy who broke someone's spine and smashed in their skills with the butt of a gun. Even if he's saving you, he doesn't want you to memorialize him as that - as his job, as the blood thirsty killer he is on the field. He doesn't want your memories of him to be associated with that and the fear you felt in the moment. If anything, he wants your 'savior' that day to be nothing more than the faceless, hidden solider known as König. Because that traumatizing memory will be stuck with you throughout your life, you'll be thinking back at it time and time again. Something that traumatic will not leave you and he doesn't want to be apart of that trauma even more, he doesn't want you thinking back about him and wondering why and how could he have done this to you. He wants you to memorize him as the neighbor you were close to before everything happened - the good times and the happy things you felt. He doesn't want you to think of anything else when you look back on memories of him.

Seeing him in that moment and having him reveal his identity then and there would only make it worse, because then you'd additionally have to go through all the shock and betrayal of the fact he lied to you and hid this whole part of his life. He'd be adding onto it. You easily have gone through one of the most traumatic events in your life, it would be selfish (in his mind) to take the moment and do what HE wants to do. No matter the incessant urge to comfort you or tell you things will be alright or wrap you tight in a hug, he just can't. It's better if the interpretation is left to you being kidnapped and held as a hostage at random for money/negotiation purposes and saved by a counter terrorist group. It's better if you just thought you were someone in the wrong place at the wrong time. As selfish as it is, he doesn't want it to be tied to him in your mind, he doesn't want to be the reason for this when you think back.

He'll know it deep down. It will eat at him and haunt him at every waking moment, it will make him vow to never let anyone get close to him again. You'll still be haunted by it either way but he figures by not associating himself, not only is he sparing you that pain but he's also sparing any future relationships you have. Because then, guaranteed, there'd be issues forming personal relationships with ANYONE if you knew that being friends with him could lead to such a thing (because he was still a relatively normal guy and nothing like that ever stood out to you). Of course, you'll then have to move because it's not safe for you in that house either - and sticking around him or talking to him isn't an option because him being close put you in danger. He wouldn't let you do that. "If you love someone, you set them free" applies here and even though it hurts him, he can't talk to you and won't be back in your life ever again.

He'll have to move back to the barracks and the housing because that would be the ONLY safe option for him. He'd have lost nearly everything at that moment. He'd still think of you and the guilt and torment would only add to his insomnia, he'd never not think about it. But it would effectively put a halt in him getting close to anyone for a good, long while and would put him into a state of persistent numbness as he recovered from it over the course of many years. Even then, like a wound, it would heal - but the scar wouldn't ever fully fade.

He'd always blame himself, wishing that there's more he could've done and listing all the things he should've done. But the best thing in that scenario is to let you go - because then he knows that they can't use you like that again if your identity is erased and you go back to being a stranger, to someone he doesn't even know. They can't find you again if you're not someone who even crosses his radar and you're a whole different person from who you used to be - or so he thinks. I mean, they have to do that. You can't go back to living your life, keeping your name - you have to move, have your identity erased and a new one made, as you go under protection. You'd have to leave him behind either way too without explanation or a trace (even if he knew damn well what happened) aside from the false narrative they give.

But, at least, it would give you a chance at life - because you'd just be a one of many random people then, blending into the background of the world. You wouldn't be a pawn to play in an attempt to check the king.

He already failed you once and he wouldn't let that happen again, even if it meant taking the one person he let close to him in decades out of his life.

[thejudgingtrash]

Rating Hantengu based on hotness levels 💛

1. Regular Hantengu

- gives off “get off me lawn” boomer vibes but in weaker

- nasty. Hawk tuah!

- old pathetic loser who hates the grandkids

- yell back at him and he will start to cry

2. Sekido

- BARKKKK! BARK BARK BAAAAAAARK!

- Mighty anger issues. Nothing that therapy can’t fix. But it will take a while to do so

- he’s the leader and he will fight you on this one if you dare to challenge him

- still easily the hottest one

- I have to repeat myself: DAMN

3. Karaku

- BAAAAAAAARK!

- eats 🐱 for breakfast

- would treat me right

- can either cool me down or fly me to the moon with his fan

- his workout regimen will kill you

4. Urogi

- BARK BARK BARK!!1!

- would realistically be the most annoying one of the hot demon quartet

- finds joy in doing sadistic shit so proceed with caution

- if you like Rengoku you will like him too as he communicates by yelling all the damn time and can’t hear well

- doesn’t have a car and honestly doesn’t need one

5. Aizetsu

- BARKKKKK BAAAAARKKKK!

- second hottest one fight me (shared position with Karaku)

- depressed af but still goes down to business if you need him, Giyu‘s demonic twin!

- also needs therapy but is himself a good listener, just very insecure

- respects your choices

6. Zohakuten

Go back to school!

7. Urami

JAIL!!!