#the lesbian gender spectrum

[disappointmentthemusical]

"Mainstream gender" as a system of oppression.

Imagine mainstream gender as a line. On one end of the line is "man," and on the other end is "woman" – this is the gender binary. The connecting line itself is representative, loosely, of "non-binary" gender. (I think this image is suitable, and if others disagree, I think that's more representative of how arbitrarily the binary is defined, rather than this image of it.)

This gender spectrum, dubbed "mainstream gender" because it's what the institutions of society use, only applies to certain groups – the group that controls it, really. White people.

Black people cannot access mainstream gender because they are barred from it via hyper-masculinization that borders on animalization. Black men are viewed as hyper-aggressive and predatory. To the white masses, the concept of "soft" Black masculinity is as real as the transatlantic slave trade (i.e., vague notions of it existing, but no personal experience with the implications, so it floats in the periphery until it's brought up again by a Black person). Black women, regardless of how much they lean into "traditional" femininity, will never be viewed as feminine. Black women will always be viewed as loud, aggressive and "man-ish," the latter contributing to transphobia that impacts both black trans women and black cis women.

By contrast, East Asians are hyper-feminized. East Asian men are stereotyped as soft and small and are portrayed as having little sexual appeal (and those who are viewed as sexually desirable are seen as exceptions to the mainstream; sexy despite their femininity). East Asian women are equally unable to escape femininity and are hyper-feminized to the point of infantilisation, both of which contribute to hyper-sexualization and fetishization. The hyper-femininization of East Asian people also lends itself to transphobia targeted at East Asian trans men (recall: the 2016/17 obsession with smol bois).

But not only is mainstream gender a tool of white supremacy, it also (obviously) is inherent to patriarchy (or, patriarchy is inherent to mainstream gender).

The binary is defined and propagated by men. So while all gender rules are arbitrary and constantly changing, "man" is always strictly defined, and the relief of "man" becomes "woman." This is evident both in masculinity being viewed as "gender neutral," as well as the sense of authority men feel over women's gender, commenting on makeup, how women dress, etc. As a result, the gender "woman" is inherently centered around "man."

In de-centering men, lesbians lack the rules to adhere to mainstream gender. That is why lesbianism is often described as a gender experience because lesbians operate on a new gender spectrum, specific to lesbians.

However, different from race, sexuality is not a visible barrier, and it can take work to exit from mainstream gender. Terf "lesbians" are not lesbians because they cling to the relief of "man" to define their gender; they're gay women. Similarly, white lesbians who prioritize their whiteness will continue to exist within mainstream gender. This also explains why white non-binary people are "like that." While they do not adhere to the binary of "man" and "woman," in participating in the system of whiteness, they remain within the confines of mainstream gender.

[disappointmentthemusical]

i was gonna comment but it was too long:

i think the disconnect is how people view butchness (and lesbianism in general) as it pertains to gender. in the same way you are a lesbian, you *are* a butch. it's a state of being. versus, i think a lot of people understand butch to be a form of gender *expression*, if that makes sense? what it means to be a butch is completely dependent on the individual, the same way what it means to be a man or a woman depends on the man/woman you're talking to. but if people view gender as something to perform, then they start making rules that not all butches can or want to adhere to.

those "How to be Butch" guides that list various selfless or chivalrous acts for aspiring butches to perform make for some beautiful poetry, but jsyk you don't actually have to do any of that stuff to be butch. like you don't have to be a girl gentleman or whatever you can be just some guy. it's fine

[justdavina]

SEXY HOT Cross-Dresser! Her outfit is PURRR fect! I just love leopard skin dresses!

[nerdyechos]

Did an art study but then I realized I hadn't drawn any pride art for June so I had a little fun

Have these quotes from various queer people!

“Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” ― James Baldwin

“When we define ourselves, when I define myself, the place in which I am like you and the place in which I am not like you, I'm not excluding you from the joining—I'm broadening the joining.” —Audre Lorde

“Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid.”—Jeanette Winterson

“If I wait for someone else to validate my existence, it will mean that I’m shortchanging myself.”—Zanele Muholi

You belong in this world.

[thepentagonaltrapezohedron]

Labels are like jackets

If it doesn't fit you, you don't have to keep it. You can find another, and you don't have to wear an uncomfortable one in the meantime.

You shouldn't try to change yourself to fit what you wear; it's there to help you, not to box you in.

It's okay if you're still looking for the right thing to wear. You'll always be yourself on the inside. You have time.

You don't need one if you don't want it. It's okay to not wear them. They're for helping to explain what you are to yourself and others. They are not for restricting yourself in a different way.

Sometimes you're forced to wear something even when it doesn't fit you. Some people won't tolerate you for who you are. Fuck them!

You choose what you wear! It's yours and it's your right to wear what you want.

Proofread by @moonmerchant

[skylie-spiderlillis]

"Me? Oh yeah I'm lesbian I'm sure of that-"

* Jayden Revri as Charles Rowland comes in to my life *

...... Guess I'm bi spec.

(Fuck you Charles Rowland. Thanks for that mess again).

[emo-mohawk-boy]

day 2

happy pride to everyone who's been told, "it's too much to try and remember your pronouns" or something similar. It is NOT too much to try to remember how you want to be referred to as and ily<3

[thegirlinprague]

gender is a spectrum

[kneedeepinthepool]

I love the logan fans I love how we've just all agreed that he's a lesbian and may be a man but also a woman at the same time, that he has a husband that he loves and sometimes that's a polycule, and sometimes he's trans and also he's a cat

[priestblaster]

maybe it's the joint talking but i really love being a lesbian. like really, truly, fully with every cell in my body. i love calling myself a lesbian at every chance i get and i wear it as a badge of honor. i love being seen by other lesbians in public and having that moment! i love declaring with all my heart that i will never love a man and all i want for are women. it goes doubly so as a femme4butch lesbian butch's are my allies my people my community my loves and my muses and same to all my fellow femmes. i could never imagine a life without lesbianism❤️🧡🤍🩷💜

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I've let this ask sit in my inbox for a while, but I think it's time I answered it, though the answer will most certainly not be to your satisfaction, anon, I'm afraid.

First off, I'm a bisexual man, and so I definitely don't have any first hand experience of experiencing attraction to only one gender. And in these things, first hand experience is all that matters.

Secondly, as for other species, I have insufficient information about zoological studies in this field, but I don't think it's as simple as you make it sound (this isn't intended to be hostile, I'm just wondering)?

As for the last part, I certainly don't presume to define sexualities as fitting strictly into one of the boxes of culture, identity or inborn orientation. I'm sure that there are more perspectives on this than I can imagine, and I'm equally sure that the experiences of these queer people are valid.

Mainly, the reason I decided to answer this despite it being a non-answer, as you said, is because I do have something to say.

I'm not in the habit of forming opinions of subjects that I have insufficient information about. I know that being seen as neutral is often vilified. I've been in that position, being angry about people's neutrality regarding topics that to me seem obvious. I no longer agree with past-me on that stance.

I would rather not, in my ignorance, cause damage. I think that people with very strong uneducated opinions cause a good deal more harm than those who stay silent in a conflict they know nothing about. Of course this won't be true in all cases.

But personally, I prefer handing the mic over, as it were, to people with more experience, knowledge, sensitivity and perspective about the issue than I.

So, yes, I'll have to go with a very unambiguous lack of an answer here. I simply do not know enough about this, anon. Non-answers, I'm afraid, are going to be inevitable in deeply personal discussions such as these. These non-answers are invariably better than the divisive discourse, invalidation and gatekeeping that occurs a lot.

Let's all be a bit more okay with saying I don't know. I'm trying to be more okay with it every day. I cannot educate myself perfectly about every single relevant topic. I think that's alright. I hope it is.

[disappointmentthemusical]

on the lesbian gender spectrum:

the system of gender is held up by patriarchy (and white supremacy), and the result of this is: the binary gender "woman" is inherently dependent on the binary gender "man." De-centering men is the only way to liberate yourself from the confines of "mainstream gender," and this can only be done to completion by no longer engaging with cis men romantically and sexually. The automatic, complete de-centering of men via lesbianism bears a new gender spectrum, a lesbian one.

[justdavina]

I love red heads. I love this picture ..... I wish she was mine.

[bthebunnie]

🩵⛓️The best torment is distraction from your pleasure, it's so fun making you try and think when you can't even speak ☁️✨

It's all a fun game at your own expense 🖤

[starchilddante]

If labels don't matter, and you "can't change the facts" then why is it so hard for you to just let people be who they want to be and respect them?

You want to hurt them. You want to rub their face in the dirt while you prove how right you are. You want them to feel humiliated and helpless.

Don't you pretend you're anything good. Don't pretend like you care about people or children and making the world a better place. You are just an insecure child, looking for someone easy to hurt, someone you can make cry, just so you don't feel small.

If labels really don't matter to you, why do you have to go and try to tear down what makes people happy?

[teaktty]

Okay, so i think these are pretty much my pride flags. I also have a progress flag, sunset lesbian, and a trans flag with the transgender symbol.

I love you! Know yourself, be happy and proud.