#the lengthy rant you asked for

[erebus0dora]

ok so i promised you a rant on Eric Bogosian, and i pinky promise i'll try to keep the story short (those beautiful people i've already privately spewed my fascination at deserve peace and love 💜)

TL;DR: Eric Bogosian is a good researcher and judge of human nature, which honestly shouldn't be surprising given his experience, links below

it is easy to google Eric (i'll call him that not out of disrespect, it's just shorter) and get to a conclusion he's just a slightly awkward old man who had extremely weird youth and gives off a powerful bi vibe just for shits and giggles; which is fair, given the wild way he handles most interviews

but hear me out, i'm not an expert, i'm just a book kind of girl. so i sought out the books, and into the books i looked.

back in 1988 he was nominated for Pulitzer's for his "Talk Radio", and i count that as one of the first cases of him using a real story to weave a (semi)fictional one. it is a powerful play, and a gut-punching movie, but I am mentioning it not because of its ehhh artistic value. in my book, it's a proof of the way he tends to critically re-imagine the things he sees and analyses.

keep that in mind when you google his "Operation 'Nemesis".

he initially started looking into the history of Armenian genocide as into the material worth developing into a plot for a movie. but, in his own words, and i quote, "I wrote this book because I had no choice. The Nemesis story required more attention than a simple screenplay."

he is still not a scientist, mind that - and his book reads as a work of fiction. say, there's no way one can look into the head of a deceased person and know their feelings, but one can guess; and Eric guesses, of course. but the fun part is that he makes educated guesses. nearly for each presumption there's a source. a footnote. a quote.

what really strikes me is that he looked into ONE plot line and fished out a complex slice of history, dripping with CONTEXT. White Russian emigration? it's in there. early stages of oil industry? check. the colourful background of Europe in early XX century? all there.

there's no wonder he spent seven years on this book.

i repeat: SEVEN. YEARS.

call me sapiosexual, but that was the moment when i stopped and thought: ok, THIS IS HOT.

what also impresses me is the way he speaks of his past. he admits he's done wild shit, and adds that the best part was the moment he understood he didn't need to be high to be creative. it's the underlying power of "yeah, been there, got better, SO CAN YOU" that gets me.

to keep things short, i'm adding links:

here's a vid where he speaks of the book on Armenian genocide (i had personal reasons to tear up a bit while listening, ngl)

and here's a vid where he speaks of acting, writing, and improv, that basically broke my art block, for which i am going to be grateful for fucking ever, i guess

(if you got to this point of my rant, you deserve a hug and a respectful kiss on the mouth if you're ok with that. go have a lovely day 💜)

[lakesbian]

i was gonna make a joke about scrabbling at my keyboard while my pr team attempts to drag me away to prevent me from making a serious post considering the matter of whether or not rose thorburn junior jerks off but this is the same account where i posted a 1k+ word long analysis of blonde wildbow characters ranked by likeliness to have a piss kink so we all know i don't have a pr team

[lloydfrontera]

Haven't even finished either story yet (just reading both at the same time and eagerly consuming spoilers - for tged since there is basically NOTHING for the sequel 😭), but I'm still thinking about what an au where Lloyd's swordsman guard is Damian and rakiel is stuck w Javier would be like...

bestie you're telling me i went from a fandom with 100k fics to one with 1k to one with 100 to one with 0 i am starving over here 😭 i think i'm literally the only one in the tag for rakiel and i don't care for twitter so tumblr is my one contact with the tged fandom at all and the situation is,,, dire,,,

y'know i had written a pretty lengthy and thoughtful response about how i think lloyd and damian would respond to each other according to their character and circumstances but then my computer turned off and i lost it so instead you get this:

they both get where the other is coming from, they understand each other perfectly. doesn't mean they have to like it!

lloyd is trying to get out from life ruining debt! he can't afford to have a knight with a high salary who demands bonuses and raises constantly! damian is coming from nigh slavery, of course he wants to have financial security in any way he can get it! they both know the worth of money, how important it is to have it and to demand what you're owed so of course they're simultaneously in the same boat while being directly opposed.

not that i'm saying lloyd is a bad boss, he's very fair and just, always paying on time (something damian actually calls rakiel out on lmao) but he's a penny pincher and likes to save as much as possible. which is something i do see damian having a bit of an issue with because one of the things he really likes about rakiel is how generous he is with people, both with his time, effort and resources despite seemingly getting nothing for himself (of course not knowing about the bonus life lol). and we know lloyd does nothing for free and is shameless about it. so their relationship would be them constantly butting heads as they both try to squeeze as much of each other as possible.

on the other hand, i think lloyd would actually have an easier time getting damian to like him than with javier actually lmao. like, let's be honest, damian isn't the paragon of virtue javier is. as long as he's getting paid and isn't being asked to, idk, burn down an orphanage, he's pretty down for anything. heck, he didn't give a shit about rakiel, the imperial crown prince, being replaced by someone else, because he liked the other guy so he wouldn't give a flying fuck about og!lloyd, recognized hooligan, being replaced by someone who actually cares about the estate he works for.

and damian would be much more direct with lloyd too. he would not keep it to himself if he knew about lloyd being kim suho, that boy would tell him the first opportune moment he got lmao now the question is whether lloyd would come clean or go total denial the way rakiel did,,,, mmmhhhh many thoughts for later,,,

and javier as rakiel's bodyguard! mmmhhhh now this au would require a lot of thought, because so many things of the plot depend of rakiel using the asrahan mana absorption method. but if we go by vibes alone and ignore all worldbuilding, the i think,,,, mmmmhhh what do i think actually,,,,

well honestly to begin with i don't think there'd be too much trouble actually. like. at all. javier is,,, javier. he's thee protagonist, he's good, he's honorable, he's all you can ask for from a main character. he gets rescued from the gladiator arena by rakiel, you better believe he'd pledge his life to him from there. and like, unless we want to make him a carbon copy of damian, then he wouldn't even ask for a big salary like damian did. he'd just stick to rakiel and protect him at all costs. we see how loyal he is in tkbi and tged, he gets saved by arcos and he never serves another master after that, he decides he wants to protect lloyd and he literally ascends to another plane of existence to do it. if rakiel rescued him, there'd be no power on earth that would make him leave his side. and that would only increase as he sees rakiel push himself over and over again to treat and save people by seemingly no reason but that he wants too (again, no one knows about the bonus life lmao). he'd push himself just as hard to be helpful to rakiel and protect him, like he does in tged with lloyd and like damian does too.

and in this particular au i don't even see him having an issue with the whole 'replaced by another person' thing. after all, in tged the point of conflict was that javier is a knigh for the frontera family, not just for lloyd. so it was technically his duty to let arcos know that someone had replaced his son, even if that someone had saved them all from total ruin. but he didn't, because he trusts lloyd and because he thought they deserved to heard it from lloyd himself first.

but in this case, javier would be rakiel's bodyguard. he isn't anything from the emperor, he isn't even a knight, heck, he never even met the real prince, as far as he's concerned he's only loyal to the rakiel he knows which is lee han. he has no reason to be conflicted because he swore loyalty to lee han and lee han is his prince rakiel.

oh and he would hate javilon's guts. utter hatred. like it's on sight for him go straight for the neck lmao

somehow i think he'd be even more protective of rakiel than he is already of lloyd. like lloyd can handle himself pretty well. rakiel can too, but he looks like a strong gust of win will blow him away. it messes with his brain chemistry a little.

and he'd take being the vessel for the demon king pretty hard. especially when he accidentally hurts rakiel. and when he gets sick. like that'd be pretty close to how damian reacts in the novel too.

as for rakiel,,,, i have a harder time deciding how he'd feel about javier. i feel like pretty much the way he does with damian?? i don't think much would change tbh. much of the banter between rakiel and damian comes from damian asking for more bonuses and rakiel complaining about it, and if javier doesn't do that then they'd have to find something else to bicker about. probably rakiel's terrible stamina lmao

so,,, yeah aksdka

[withwritersblock]

Blowing Smoke

~Blowing Smoke by Gracie Abrams~

Author's Note: requested! italics are flashbacks and how i met your mother is literally my favorite show of all time so when I saw this request nearly passed out. Summary: Quinn and Y/N have a complicated friends with "benefits" situation Warnings: implied smut Word Count: 4,136 Quinn Hughes x fm!reader

She sat down in the bar booth beside Quinn a groan leaving her lips. Kasey and Michael looked towards her suspiciously while Quinn was already watching her sit down. Frankie was off flirting with some girl in the bar, leaving the extra chair empty. 

“Hey honey, what’s wrong?” Kasey asked as she slid the small scotch glass towards her. Y/N immediately took a hold of it and chugged it. Quinn’s eyes widened as he watched her drink the whole thing. Michael tried to hide his smirk while he brought his own beer towards his lips.

“I hate my job,” she let out as she fought the burn of the scotch down her throat. “I swear I’m never having kids because of this job,” she slammed the glass down onto the table.

Quinn wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her towards his body. She rested her head onto his shoulder. Her lips fell into a pout as she met Kasey’s gaze. “What happened today?” Kasey asked.

The pair worked together for the last three years and is the whole reason why they in this booth together. Y/N was new to the area and needed a group of people to be with. Kasey was the only other person less than forty at the elementary school they taught at. 

“Three of my students got into a brawl and I got brought into the principal’s office,” she explained as she lifted her head from Quinn’s shoulder. She looked into his eye for a moment. 

Quinn cringed as he slide his drink towards her, “Maybe you need this a bit more than me,” he let out as he shifted his gaze towards around the bar. She gladly took a hold of it and chugged the remainder of the drink. She let out a hushed groan as she shook her head. “I’ll go get us another round,” Quinn offered as he stood up from the booth, tapping his hand against the table.

“You’re going to love them, it’s going to be a great group,” Kasey let out as she guided her inside the bar, the bar her and her friends hang at nearly every other night. Kasey began to guide them towards the group of three guys sitting in a booth that they seemed quite comfortable in.

Y/N held back looking towards the guy she hooked up with two weeks ago. Hooked up was a strong word but they had a lengthy make out and a romantic evening on a rooftop. He was looking at her with so much love for someone who was on a first date. She wasn’t looking for anything serious but by the way he was looking at her and kissing her; he was. She told him that she wanted it to be a one time thing and he listened and they haven’t spoken since.

“You okay?” Kasey asked as she spun around. Y/N blinked rapidly as she looked towards the three guys again.

“Those are your friends?” Y/N asked quietly. Kasey nodded, a small grin on her lips. 

“Oh god, did you hook up with Frankie? I’m so sorry-he’s-I don’t actually know why we’re friends with him,” Kasey explained while shaking her head.

“What about him?” she asked, her gaze on Quinn. Kasey followed her line of sight and her eyes widened. 

“Oh Quinn? Are you a Canucks fan? Of course you are, you’re from Vancouver-he’s harmless,” she ranted.

“No, I mean yes but we sort of-had a night together a few weeks ago. I don’t want to make this awkward, thank you for inviting me-I think I’ll just-”

“No, stay! Come on, there’s so much testosterone over there, I need someone to balance it out! Come on, he won’t make it weird,” she took a hold of Y/N’s arm and dragged her towards the table.

“I’m worried, I’ll make it weird,” she mumbled. Kasey chuckled as she walked towards the booth.

Quinn lifted his gaze and met her eye, he smirked as he squinted his eyes slightly as he brought the beer towards his lips fighting the grin. 

“Frankie, get up and get a chair,” Kasey asked, smacking her hand against his upper back.

“What? Why do I ha-” Frankie argued but Kasey smacked her hand against his back again before he stood up and walked away to get a chair. Kasey’s fiance moved and sat beside Quinn, letting the girls sit beside one another. 

“Boys this is Y/N, we work together and she is my newly found best friend so you better be nice and behave because I would like her to stick around,” Kasey said waving a finger between Quinn and Frankie, her finger staying pointed towards Frankie a little longer than Quinn.

Y/N smiled softly towards them before she brushed a few pieces of hair away from her face. “I’m going to go grab a drink,” she let out as she slipped out of the booth seat.

“I’ll join ya,” Quinn let out as he smiled towards Kasey, almost mockingly. 

“Behave,” Kasey whispered loudly. 

Y/N walked towards the bar, smiling towards the bartender ordering an espresso martini. Quinn leaned against the bartop, smiling towards her. She pursed her lips forward, keeping her gaze on the bartender, watching him make the drink.

“So have you changed your mind then?” he asked as he leaned his head into his hand. Turning her head, she met his eye fighting a grin forming to her lips.

“I didn’t know you were friends with Kasey when I agreed to hang out with her friends tonight,” she explained as the espresso martini was placed in front of her. Quinn gestured towards the bartender to put it on his tab. She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked into his eye.

“It’s my night for the tab,” he mumbled. The bartender placed a beer in front of him. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled as she brought the drink towards her lips, taking a small sip. “Are you okay with this?” she asked while glancing towards the table. Quinn looked into her eyes, almost searching for something.

“Yeah,” he said quite confidently, almost nervous. “As long as you don’t sleep with Frankie. You’ll be the third friend of Kasey’s to stop hanging out with us because of him,”

“Noted,” she let out laughing as the pair returned to their booth.

“I’m gonna get fired,” she let out as she rested her head into hands.

“They won’t fire you,” Kasey said as she rested her head onto Michael’s shoulder. “We’re in a teacher shortage, you know that,” she teased. Y/N rolled her eyes playful as she turned her gaze towards Quinn and a short blonde talking at the bar. He was flirting, she could tell by the way he was leaning against the bartop.

Her mood was already in the dumps but it was getting worse the more she was watching him flirt with a girl, he probably doesn’t even know the name off. Frankie stood behind the blonde, holding up a thumbs up towards Quinn. 

She felt the oxygen in her body dissipate as she continued to watch him talk with the girl. Their drinks were sitting on a tray in front of him but he was not attempting on bringing them over towards them.

Kasey turned around, “Oi Huggy bring me my beer!” she shouted. Quinn shifted his gaze towards the group, he began chuckling before he took the tray cautiously and began walking towards his booth table. The blonde girl huffed before she wandered towards a different corner in the bar.

“What if that was my future wife, Kase, you could’ve just ruined that,” Quinn expressed as he delicately placed the drinks down in front of them. He slammed the tray against his side as he looked into Kasey’s eyes.

“Sure Quinn, the girl with her tongue down Frank’s throat is your future wife. Sit,” she expressed. He spun his head around to see the blonde making out with Frankie against the bartop. Quinn laughed awkwardly as he left the tray on an empty table before he plopped back down beside Y/N. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, he pulled her towards him.She rested her head onto his shoulder as she took a deep breath.

It was a common routine between herself and Quinn. If she was asked about her feelings towards Quinn three years ago, she would say it was merely attraction, but now she was not so sure. There was a handful of nights over the years that reflected the first night they met. It never went past a sleezy make out with their clothes on. It always ended with them cuddling and falling asleep in each others arms.

She brought her espresso martini towards her lips, taking a tiny sip before she rested her head back onto Quinn’s shoulder. He ran his hand up and down her arm. “You’ll be alright,” he whispered before he pressed his lips to the top of her head. 

Michael and Kasey shared a glance before they awkwardly brought their beers to their lips. Frankie soon took a hold of the empty chair, spinning it around as he sat down. “Look what I got!” he sang as he showed a napkin with the blonde’s number on it. 

He spun it around, “Vanessa,” he sang before he ripped the napkin and let it fall to the floor. “Quinny, she wanted me to give it to but I guess I lost the napkin,” he teased as he smirked before he brought his scotch towards his lips. Quinn rolled his eyes as he pulled his phone from his pocket to see a text from his younger brother Jack. He pulled his arm away from Y/N as he began to reply.

~~~

She was laying on the couch, her feet draped over Kasey’s lap as they were both scrolling through their phones. Michael and Frankie were in front of them attempting to get a new high score on Just Dance. Quinn was pacing back and forth adjusting his collar and running his fingers through his hair repeatedly. 

“My hair look okay?” he stopped behind the couch, looking down towards Y/N. She pulled the phone away from her face, looking up towards him, she hummed before she returned her gaze back to her phone. “You wouldn’t lie to me right?” he pressed further. 

“Quinn, it looks good,” she let out a chuckle leaving her lips. He nodded before he walked back towards the bathroom.

Despite being the captain of the Canucks, money everywhere at his disposal, but he still lived with his first ever roommate in Vancouver. It was only a few seconds before he stepped out of the bathroom holding two bottles of cologne. “Y/N, which one is better?” 

He held both bottles in front of her face, rolling her eyes playfully she leaned up and smelled both bottles. She smiled after she looked at the blue glass bottle, “That one,” she muttered. He smiled as he sprayed a few across his entire body. 

“You’re the best, Y/N!” Quinn said while jogging away. Y/N nodded as she raised her eyebrows while trying not to laugh. 

“What’s the name of this one?” Michael asked loudly while panting as the song finished. Frankie clapped his hands together while pointing his finger guns towards Michael, “Start it again,” he forced out.

Frankie started the game again, “Your funeral Atkins,” Frankie said completely normal, no sense of being out of breath.

Quinn remerged adjusting his collar, “Her name is Josephine and we met at that coffee place down the street. She has no idea who I am, which is great,”

“Doesn’t sound creepy at all,” Y/N mumbled, getting a laugh from Kasey. 

“It’s not because this could be it guys! I’ve got a good feeling about this one,” He let out as he continued walking towards the door. “I’ll be back!” he sing-songed before he stepped out of the apartment. Y/N shook her head while she kept her gaze on her phone.

Kasey delicately tapped her hands against Y/N’s thigh. She lifted her gaze from her phone to meet Kasey’s gaze. “Are you okay?” Kasey asked softly. Y/N blinked a few times before shaking her head slightly.

“Yeah,” she mumbled, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kasey pouted her lips. 

“I’m fine,”

Kasey leaned towards her, practically getting on top of her, “The love of your life just walked out the door on a date with another woman,” Kasey whispered. 

“He’s hardly the love of my life,” she shot back quietly while looking into Kasey’s eyes. “I don’t have any feelings,” Y/N expressed. Kasey huffed and stood up from the couch, dodging Michael and Frankie in the process. She walked around towards the back of the couch. 

Kasey motioned towards her to follow her. Y/N reluctantly stood up from the couch, Michael nearly smacked her in the head. “Damn, Y/N, you know not to get in the way of Mikey and Gaga,” Frankie joked as she stumbled away from the pair.

“Alright, we’re going to head home, Quinn are you coming?” Kasey asked as she started to climb out of the booth. Michael started to slide out too. Quinn shook his head as he brought his water towards his lips.

“I’ll head back in a bit,” he mumbled. Michael and Kasey smiled towards him before they started walking out of the bar. Quinn’s gaze followed Frankie who was busy chatting up a red haired girl that was definitely way out of his league. She seemed interested enough.

Quinn lifted his gaze to see Kasey talking with Y/N for a moment before her and Michael walked out of the bar. Y/N didn’t need to look through the bar to find Quinn. They sat at the same booth every time they were there. Which was nearly every night. They would only drink two nights they were there but it was their hangout spot. 

She pouted her lips slightly as she slide into the booth, the same side as Quinn. 

“Why is it every time you come here you have a pout on your lips,” Quinn teased as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Y/N rested her head onto his shoulder, he ran his hand up and down her arm. 

“It’s not every time,” she mumbled fighting the grin on her lips.

Quinn’s face scrunched while smirking, “It’s almost every time.” He leaned his head against hers as he stared blankly ahead. 

“Well you… guys always make me feel better,” she mumbled. Quinn smiled to himself before he leaned towards her, pressing his lips to the top of her head for a second. 

After a few seconds she lifted her head to meet his eye. His hand glided up her arm, running through her hair as he took a hold of her neck. “What are you doing, Quinn?” she asked softly as she rested her forehead against his. Their hearts were beating out of their chest as they felt like they were in their own little bubble. 

“Quinn,” she mumbled before he leaned towards her, delicately kissing her. She hummed against his lips as she took a hold of his t-shirt, tugging it slightly. 

“You have an apartment upstairs, we should head to your apartment upstairs,” he mumbled against her lips. She giggled.

“Let’s go to my apartment upstairs,” she teased as she slowly glided out of the booth, holding out her hand for him. He gladly took a hold of it as she guided him towards the exit of the bar.

“Oh yeah!” Frankie shouted as he saw them walking out together. 

Once they were upstairs, her small studio apartment was always there “secret” spot together. She shut the door and twisted the lock as she pressed her back against the door. He stood in front of her, shyly shoving his hands into his pockets.

She reached her hands up and delicately took a hold of the base of his neck. She dragged her thumbs across his skin as she looked into his eyes He pressed his lips together as he scanned her features. 

“What are you thinking?” she asked as she tilted her head back against the door. 

He smirked as he inched towards her, “I’m not thinking,” he mumbled as he leaned towards her devouring her lips.

Kasey took a hold Y/N’s arm and guided her towards her bedroom, to talk without the boys hearing. Not that they were listening much anyway. “Frankie said that you two left the bar the other night holding hands and that he saw you guys be all close and cuddly,” Kasey whispered excitedly as she forced Y/N to sit down onto her bed.

Rolling her eyes she pursed her lips forward. “It’s not like we had sex,” she mumbled. 

Kasey let out a dramatica groan as she sat beside Y/N yet she also laid onto her back. Kasey pretended to punch the ceiling. “So you’re completely okay with making out with him and then watching him go on a string of first dates pretending to find the one. When we all know the one is you,” she explained while dramatically using her hands to make her point. 

“I don’t know about that,” Y/N let out barely above a whisper as she laid on her back, following Kasey in pursuit. 

“Do you have feelings for him?” she asked as she turned her head to meet Y/N’s gaze. 

She didn’t want to say yes. She knew that Quinn was special from the moment that she met him but she wasn’t ready. Still didn’t feel totally ready. Because what does being ready even mean?

“I’ll take your silence as a declaration of love,” Kasey teased. 

“It’s not, it’s an I don’t know,” she muttered. 

~~~

It had been a month since Quinn’s gone on any date. Josephine ended up being a huge Canucks fan and wanted nothing more than to be involved with the captain. Quinn swore off dating after that, he was honestly terrified of the stalking that came with girls like that. 

Quinn stumbled into the apartment after a win by the Canucks where he had the game winning goal. Despite his friends having season tickets that Quinn paid eighty percent for because they insisted on contributing; they didn’t end up going to the game that night. 

Kasey stumbled out of the bedroom, her pajamas covering her frame. She threw her hands to the side, “Why do you insist on playing good when we don’t go? That’s so unfair,” she let out somewhat jokingly. She jogged towards him, pulling into a tight bear hug. 

“Then you guys need to start coming to every game,” he muttered as he chuckled. His eyes scanned the apartment, furrowing his eyebrows. “No, Y/N or Frank?” he asked softly. 

“They went out to a club or something, said that they were going to be each other’s wingman,” Kasey said, somewhat instigating. Quinn’s eyes widened as he nodded, he ran his hand across his chin.

“They went-like- together?” Quinn asked softly, meeting Kasey’s gaze. She nodded slowly, fighting the grin forming to her lips. “Cool, that’s cool.”

“One more time and I’ll believe you,” she muttered, raising her eyebrows.

“It’s cool,” he let out. She smirked as she started stepping back towards her bedroom.

“Okay, goodnight Quinn,” she teased before she slipped back into her room. Quinn nodded before he slowly walked towards his bedroom, directly opposite of Kasey and Michael’s room.

He stepped inside of his room and every hit he took during the game suddenly overtook his body. His entire frame felt battered and bruised. He took in a shaky breath as he took a hold of the hoodie on his frame, he pulled it away from his body, tossing it towards the corner of his room. 

He walked towards the small mirror hanging above his dresser, taking note of the redden and bruising jagged spot on his ribs. Clenching his jaw, he delicately ran his fingers across the top of the skin. He sighed as his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw that Y/N was calling him. 

Quinn lifted it up and brought it towards his ear, answering it. “Y/N, you alright?” he asked.

“Can I come in?” she asked softly. He furrowed his eyebrows as he felt his heart jump into his throat.

“You have a key to our place,” Quinn offered as he took in a deep breath. 

“Not what I meant,” she mumbled. He pressed his lips together as he fought a grin forming to his lips. He reached for the door and pulled it open. They both still had the phone up to their ears. He was the first to slowly pull it away from his ear, he quickly ended the call as he placed it onto the shelf beside him. 

She slowly pulled her phone from her ear, smiling softly. Her body was covered in a tight red dress and her hair was pulled awy from her neck. He scanned her frame. 

“Are you drunk?” he asked softly as he stepped back into the room. She took that as an invitation and stepped inside. Swinging the door shut, it closed quietly. 

“It’s Wednesday, I don’t drink on school nights,” she said with a grin toying to her lips.

“What are you doing here then?” he asked barely above a whisper, a small grin on his lips. 

“I am not sure,” she mumbled as she let out a sudden breath. Quinn bit his bottom lip as he took a hold of her waist as he cautiously pushed her against the door. She let out a small gasp as her eyes widened slightly. Her eyes lowered towards his frame, taking note of his bruising frame. “Oh my god,” she muttered as she delicately traced her fingertips across his bruises.

“It’s not that bad,” he said while holding his breath. She tilted her head to the side while staring into his eyes. He nodded as he stepped back.

“Got my ass handed to me tonight,” he muttered. She chuckled as she watched him sit down onto his bed. She chuckled as she walked towards him. His gaze followed her intently.

“I can make you feel better,” she mumbled. He smirked as he scanned her frame.

“How do you plan on doing that?” he asked as he leaned back on his hands. She stood in front of him, a teasing smirk on her lips. “Y/N,” he let out barely above a whisper. She took a hold of his cheeks, lifting his head up. 

“I’m gonna-” she muttered before she leaned towards him kissing him desperately, almost as if they’ve never kissed before. He reached his hands towards her, taking a hold of her waist as he pulled her towards him. 

Her fingertips began to run through his hair as they began to devour each others lips. She slowly climbed onto his lap as his hands took a hold of her thighs. His fingertips glided along her skin as he slowly ran his hands higher and higher up her frame. She pulled her lips away from his as she pressed her forehead against his.

“I’m gonna say it,” she mumbled before she pressed her lips against his again. He hummed against her lips before he tilted his head back, slowly opening his eyes. She met his gaze as she continued to slowly run her fingers through the ends of his hair. 

“I’m waiting,” he let out teasingly before he pecked her lips.

“You know this is really hard for me right,” she muttered. He smirked before he took a hold of her thighs, and tossed her onto the bed. Her eyes widened as he started to climb on top of her. Scanning her features, he leaned down and delicately pressed his lips against her cheek.

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbled as he leaned towards her, he brushed his lips against her ear, “But I need you to say it.” he pulled back and met her gaze. She rolled her eyes playfully before squeezing her eyes shut.

“I have feelings for you,” she muttered before she slowly opened her eyes. He had a grin on his face as he looked into her eyes.

“What kind of feelings?” he asked teasingly. 

“Oh shut up,” she said as she took a hold of his neck pulling him towards her. She kissed him urgently as a giggle fell from his lips.

“This feels a little out of nowhere,” he mumbled against her lips.

“If you think three years is a little out of nowhere, you are hopeless,” she let out before she kissed him urgently.

[ddarker-dreams]

missing scarlet ribbons so bad… brain food for SR: confined space stand that lowkey locks SR reader in a really small alternate dimension space with the bucci gang. like… chest to chest on top like “aughh sorry!! its so cramped in here :((“ and the guys r j internally screaming over it

RETURNING WITH SOME SCARLET RIBBONS !!!!!!!!!!!! i love them your honor <33333333

[Scarlet Ribbons index]

Although Giorno recognizes this predicament's unique benefits, he still prioritizes your well-being. He will check you over, ensuring no harm has been inflicted. Once that’s settled, admittedly, a few mischievous thoughts flit through his mind… none that he’ll act on, however. He accommodates you to the best of his ability. Ever the opportunist, he’ll gratefully accept any physical contact your shuffling around results in. Should you find yourself bored while waiting out the Stand’s effects, he’ll humor (most) requests you make of Gold Experience. And no, he won’t agree to create an elephant, no matter how passionately you plead your case. You’ll have to settle for a duckling or something similarly small. Capybaras aren’t off the table. 

Your level-headed leader, Bruno, finds himself unusually flustered. He recoils a bit too fast from any contact and dedicates a lengthy chunk of time to clearing his throat. He steels his nerves by asking if you’re alright, feeling any adverse side effects, etc. Sticky Fingers is summoned to check for a way out of this pocket dimension, an idea that’s proven implausible. You’ll both have to wait it out. Bruno gives you as much space as he can, to the point his contortions are stressing you out from how uncomfortable they must be. He almost chokes when you offhandedly suggest sitting on his lap to ‘free up space.’ Poor man. 

Fugo’s irritated over the fight’s outcome. He feels useless, since your presence prevents him from utilizing Purple Haze, lest you fall victim to the Stand’s abilities. He critiques your strategies and lists what you should’ve done differently. Don’t take it personally — internally, he’s berating himself for being unable to do more. The self-loathing steadily fades away as he recognizes how close these accommodations have you. Fugo cuts himself off mid rant, sputtering incoherent gibberish. His heart starts beating so hard, he wonders if he might be going into cardiac arrest. Your knees are brushing against each other. Why aren’t you panicking? Why is he panicking? … And why does he feel some gratitude toward the Stand User responsibles for this? 

Narancia considers this a golden opportunity to prove how reliable (and cool!) he is. Will most likely quote an action hero for maximum effect. He reassures you that he’s ‘totally got this’ and suggests shooting the walls with Aerosmith to bust out. You have to talk him out of this brilliant plan, reminding him that ricochet is a thing. Sitting still and waiting for the Stand’s ability to run its course hits him the hardest. He wants to be proactive, primed to pummel the asshole that got you both in this situation. However, your presence greatly decreases the likelihood he’ll do anything rash. At a certain point, he finds the whole thing kinda cool, like a secret base only you two know about. 

Mista used to pray for days like these. He’s thanking all the saints (that he can remember) for this gracious opportunity. Still, he’s mindful of your boundaries, doing his best not to intrude on your space. He will be inhaling your perfume, though. In copious amounts. While escape should be a high priority, seeing as neither of you are dying, he’s rather chill about the entire ordeal. You’re his favorite person to goof around with. He jokes about offering himself up if you’re stuck here long enough for starvation to kick in. You don’t get why his mind always ends up in a Hannibal-Lecter-esque place, but it’s a nice (?) sentiment. The Stand’s ability ends far too fast for his liking. 

Abbacchio is secretly grateful it’s you he’s stuck with and not some other schmuck. He might give you a hard time, but your presence is tolerable, even if you have a proclivity for yapping. The fact that you’re nice on the eyes is an added bonus. Considering his height, it’s impossible for you to have absolutely zero contact. Abbacchio’s always been tough on himself — he wouldn’t blame you if you were repulsed by him. So for you not to shrink away when your hands touch… it warms his heart in a way he hadn’t thought possible. He’ll humor your musings, adding his own dry wit on the occasion until you’re both freed. 

[darkmetaknightspussy]

a fairly detailed kirby oc ask meme

🪐 (Saturn) - What planet are they from? Is it in Gamble Galaxy, Another Dimension, the Mirror World, the New World, or somewhere else? Where do they live now?

🧃 (Juicebox) - What species are they? What’s their biology and physiology like? Do they differ in any way from a ‘typical’ member of their species?

⚔️ (Crossed Swords) - What weapon(s) do they wield or specialize in, if any in particular? Any special properties? Do their weapons have names or epithets? [e.g. MK’s Galaxia, Morpho’s Doomblade]

🪄 (Magic Wand) - Are they capable of wielding magic? Is it a learned skill, or is it innate? What sorts of spells can they cast? Do they possess any magical items or artifacts? [e.g. the Dimensional Mantle]

💫 (Shooting Star) - If they were to wish on a clockwork star, like Galactic Nova or Star Dream, what would they wish for?

🪽 (Wing) - Can they fly, hover, or levitate? Is it through natural means or artificial means? If they have wings, what do they look and feel like?

🥘 (Stew) - Do they have any favourite foods or comfort foods? What are their eating habits like? If absorbed by the Cook ability, what healing item would they summon?

🧋 (Boba Tea) - Come up with a Kirby Café item themed around your OC! It can be a savoury dish, a drink, a dessert, or something else entirely.

☀️ (Sun) - What’s their morning routine like? Do they take a lot of time getting ready in the morning? How do they groom themselves? What are they having for breakfast?

🌙 (Moon) - Is your OC a particularly light or heavy sleeper? Somewhere in-between? Do they take naps?

🍅 (Tomato) - If Kirby absorbed them or their attacks, what Copy Ability [or Abilities] would he get? Alternatively, if they themselves are capable of using the Copy Ability, do they have a favourite?

⚡️ (Lightning Bolt) - Which Power Effects [Blizzard, Bluster, Sizzle, Splash, Zap] would their attacks grant? Do they have any particular weaknesses or resistances, elemental or otherwise?

🎶 (Music Notes) - Do they play any instruments? What kind of leitmotif and/or battle theme would they have? Are there any songs you associate with them?

💌 (Love Letter) - How easy are they to befriend? Are they more of a social butterfly or a lone wolf?

💥 (Collision) - What’s your OC’s combat style like? Do they adhere to any particular code of honour or ethics in a fight, or are they totally unfettered by that sort of thing?

⚙️ (Gear) - Do they have any knowledge of, or connections to, the Ancients? What do they think of them?

⚖️ (Scales) - On the subject of a certain someone’s lengthy rant; is your OC moreso on the side of magic or science? Somewhere in-between? Do they incorporate the two together in some way?

🍨 (Ice Cream) - The Invader Armour undergoes a drastic transformation depending on its pilot. If they were to wield it, what appearance would their mech take on? What abilities would it have?

🪞 (Mirror) - What would their Mirror World counterpart be like? If they are a Mirror World counterpart, what traits of theirs are reflected? Do the two of them get along?

🐛 (Caterpillar) - What are your OC’s greatest fears, and why? How do they act or react when they’re afraid?

💼 (Bag) - Inventory check! What items does your OC typically carry around with them? What do they carry them in?

🔮 (Crystal Ball) - Out of all the treasures in the Great Cave Offensive, Kirby is letting your OC pick one from his stash to keep! Which one do they pick, and why?

♟️ (Pawn) - Does your OC get possessed easily, or do they have the willpower to fight back against any possible attempts? Have they been possessed before?

🕸️ (Spiderweb) - Create a bouquet inspired by your OC! It can be based on their colour palette, flower language and symbolism, whatever they like best, or any combination of the three.

💜 (Purple Heart) - If they were corrupted by the Jamba Heart, which negative traits of theirs would be amplified?

🩷 (Pink Heart) - If they were a Dream Friend, what would their moveset be like? How much HP do they have? Would they be a strong attacker, or would they take on more of a support role?

🦁 (Lion) - If they were an animal — that is, of the Earth / Shiver Star / New World variety — which animal would they be? If they already are an animal, what real-life species or subspecies are they most similar to?

🕰️ (Clock) - What would a Dreamy Gear version of them look like? What sort of accessories would they have? What kind of role do they play?

🛡️ (Shield) - Which Clash role would your OC pick - Sword Hero, Hammer Lord, Beam Mage, or Doctor Healmore?

🦋 (Butterfly) - Does your OC ‘fear the reaper’, so to speak? If they fused with Morpho Knight, what sort of form would they take on?

🍒 (Cherry) - Out of all of the Dream Friends [Kirby included], which ones would they get along with the most? The least?

🥀 (Wilted Rose) - Do they have a Soul form? What would it look and act like? How much control over themselves do they have? Is it still possible to save them, or are they too far gone?

[red-sneakers]

Every night, Izuku has nightmares about almost losing Katsuki in the war. He can’t get a good night’s sleep. It’s affecting his training.

One night, after a particularly awful nightmare, he can’t take it anymore. He takes his pillow and blanket, goes to Katsuki’s room, and knocks on the door.

Katsuki opens it to find Izuku with puffy eyes and streaks of tears still running down his cheeks and neck. Izuku goes on a blubbering, stuttering mutter-rant, asking Katsuki if he “could sleep in Kacchan’s room, but I’ll sleep on the other side of the room on the floor, so you won’t even know I’m there, really, I’ll be quiet, I just need to hear Kacchan’s breathing so I know —“ Katsuki cuts him off by yanking him into a tight hug.

Wordless, because Katsuki knows what Izuku *really* needs to hear, he invites Izuku into his bed and gets him to use his chest as a pillow - so Izuku can hear his heartbeat. The nightmares stop.

The next evening, Izuku thinks he’ll try and be brave. He won’t bother Katsuki in the middle of the night, even though it was wonderful spending the night in Kacchan’s arms.

After getting ready for bed in the communal bathroom, Izuku starts heading for his own room, but Katsuki grabs him by the wrist, leads him to *his* room, and yanks him into bed with him. It’s WAY earlier than Izuku usually goes to sleep, but he doesn’t care; he’s too elated (and relieved) to be in Kacchan’s arms again.

When Katsuki’s breathing starts to slow, something comes over Izuku, and he can’t help but press a soft kiss on his warm cheek. Katsuki mumbles a half-asleep “night, ‘zuku.”

This becomes an every night situation. Every night, Izuku sleeps in Katsuki’s bed, and every night he kisses Katsuki’s cheek before they both drift off. Nothing much else about their relationship changes, except that Izuku is MUCH better rested. Brighter eyes, pinker cheeks, more energy. His friends notice.

One night, when Izuku is going for his nightly cheek kiss, Katsuki turns his head at just the right moment, and their lips meet. Izuku doesn’t know if it’s an accident or not. He pulls away quickly and hides his face in Katsuki’s shoulder, heart racing, frozen with uncertainty until Katsuki mumbles his usual, “night, ‘zuku.” Izuku still doesn’t know if the kiss was an accident or not, but at least Katsuki’s not mad about it.

The next night, Katsuki turns his face again. It’s not an accident. The kiss isn’t lingering. It’s barely more than a peck, but it makes the butterflies in Izuku’s stomach go crazy all the same. He snuggles a little closer that night. He lets himself trace the contour of Katsuki’s collarbone over his soft t-shirt, and Katsuki runs his fingers through Izuku’s curls.

So this is their life for a while. They act relatively normal throughout the day, if you can call their usual dynamic “normal,” that is. A little more than rivals. A little more than friends. Sitting at different lunch tables. Always next to each other in class. Throwing one-liners back and forth all day, but rarely having lengthy conversations. Sharing a kiss and a bed every night.

Okay I gotta stop or I’m gonna write a whole fic lmao

[mamaestapa]

For the JJ blurb idea..waking up together for the first time or your first sleepover together🤭

Burnt Toast Sunday|| JJ McCarthy x reader

• pairing: JJ McCarthy x reader

• summary: The morning after your first sleepover with JJ

• warnings: some language & lots of fluff<3

Your eye lids fluttered open from the feeling of JJ leaving soft kisses on your cheek and neck. You were pressed against his body, your back against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around you.

Last night was your first time staying over at JJ’s—with just the two of you.

You have been dating JJ for three months now. They’ve been the best three months of your life. He’s such a caring, considerate and attentive individual, so he makes the best boyfriend. You and JJ were good friends for about a year before the two of you realized there was something more between you. JJ came over to your house after a particularly rough practice, seeking comfort and someone to talk to. You were there for him, comforting him and listening to his rant about what was going wrong at practice. After a lengthy rant, JJ just gazed at you before spitting out the question he’s been wanting to ask for a while now: Will you go out with me this weekend? There’s a bar downtown that I heard has great food.

And the rest was history.

You hummed softly as you grabbed JJ’s hand that was pressed against your tummy. You intertwined your fingers with his and squeezed his hand gently.

“Good morning beautiful.” He whispered, his morning voice in your ear giving you butterflies. “Good morning handsome.”

He kissed your cheek before leaning on his arm that was on his pillow. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” you smiled, turning so you were facing him, “even better in your arms.” JJ chuckled, “Good, I’m glad you slept well.”

The two of you just laid in each others embrace, savoring every moment of the quiet morning with one another. JJ’s roommates were out of town for the weekend, meaning you had the entire house to yourself. It was peaceful, good for you and JJ to spend quality time together.

As you re-situated yourself and snuggled into JJ’s chest your stomach let out a loud growl. You groaned in embarrassment as your boyfriend just chuckled.

“Don’t be embarrassed baby, come on.” He groaned softly as he let go of you and rolled out of his bed, “I’ll go make you breakfast.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

JJ shot you a look, almost seeming to give you his best RBF, “Yes I do. You’re hungry, I’m hungry, come on.” He reached out for your hand to pull you out of bed. You grabbed his hand, smiling softly at him as he helped you up. You hummed out a soft thank you before pulling away from him. JJ left you alone in the bedroom as he headed downstairs to prepare breakfast.

After JJ went downstairs, you went into his bathroom and freshened up a bit. You put your bra back on, brushed your hair, and swished some of JJ’s mint mouthwash around your mouth to get rid of your morning breath. You finished up in the bathroom and headed downstairs. The smell of eggs filled your nostrils as you entered your kitchen, making your mouth water and stomach rumble.

“Something smells good.” You mused as you walked up next to JJ. He just put two pieces of toast down in the toaster when you walked in. He turned around, breath hitching at the sight of you. JJ wet his lips as he looked at you wearing the silk sleep shorts paired with one of his Michigan t-shirts. “God you look so beautiful.” JJ said as he eyed you.

You blushed at his words, “Stop,” you eyed him playfully as you spoke, “I just woke up, it can’t be that pretty of a sight.” JJ chuckled and kissed your cheek. He stroked your skin with his thumb as he spoke, “It’s the prettiest.”

You smiled sweetly at your boyfriend as he smiled down at you. However your smile soon faltered as a burning smell filled your nostrils. You scrunched your nose in disgust as you sniffed a couple times.

“JJ…” you trailed off, “it smells like something is burning.”

JJ sniffed the air, his nose scrunching in disgust just like yours. His eyes widened as the toaster popped up, signaling that the pieces of bread were done toasting.

They were done toasting all right.

“Shit,” JJ breathed out as he pulled the two pieces of black burnt toast out of the toaster, “I burnt the toast.”

You chuckled at the sad look on your boyfriend’s face. He felt so bad he burnt your toast, but you thought it was funny. Hey, it’s the thought that counts right?

“It’s OK baby,” you said as you placed a hand on his back, rubbing it back and forth softly as you spoke, “it’s the thought that counts.”

JJ sighed as he poked at the burnt bread, his face turning into disgust once again. He let out another sigh as he looked at the burnt toast. So much for your breakfast…

“Why don’t we go to that cafe your parents took us to a couple weeks ago? They had good omlette.” You suggested with a smile. JJ glanced at you as he nodded.

He wrapped an arm around you as he spoke, “I could go for an omlette.”

Although breakfast didn’t go as JJ planned, the morning after your first sleepover together was still just as great as you imagined it would be.

hi loves!!

oh i love writing about jj. he’s such a cutie and you guys are sending in great requests for him. i love them!🤍

my requests are always open, so feel free to send me any and all ideas you have. i promise ill get to it at some point ;)

i’ll post some more blurbs tomorrow! as always, thank you for all the love and support, it means so much babes😚🤍

[astraaa3]

How about some headcanons of Velvette x Female or Genderneutral reader who hates confrontation? Is the type that can't send back food when it's wrong. Someone cut in front of them? What are they gonna do? Tell them not to? Yeah, no. God forbid they're being outright spoken down to. Maybe they yell back at someone in an act of defiance as a form of growth but they're in shock immediately after which is so not the right thing to do with the person still in front of them. Velvette would probably dress reader up however she wants to. What happens if reader tries out saying they want to where something they think is pretty or nice? Okay, this got overly lengthy, but you get the idea?

A/N: This one was such a fun writing experience. I literally couldn't decide which way I wanted it to go. Thank you so much for the ask Anon, hope you enjoy it. <33

Feedback is much appreciated and don't forget to ask. (I need something to get the brain juices flowing)

Velvette x Gn!Reader

In which Reader can't bring themselves to say no to people or to stand up for themselves. (aka the Velvette x Pushover!Reader I never knew I needed)

=========📱=========

Initially, Velvette wrote off your compliance with all of her requests as you wanting to please her. And well, she couldn't complain, she liked pushing people around, and her partner was no exception. That said, her sharp tongue was reserved for her poor models. (you got a free pass most of the time since she didn't want to make you cry)

With time, Velvette realized that this was just how you were. She laughed the first time Vox showed her the footage of you helping an assistant carry boxes, only to end up helping with organizing files for one of Vox's assistants. She laughed even harder when she saw you try to get a word in as some wolf sinner cut in front of you in line. And well, it was kinda funny. Until the same shit happened again and again.

Velvette tried talking some sense into you. "Babe, listen. You can't just let any dimwit trample over you." She sighed as you promised to try to stick up for yourself.

Nothing changed after Velvette's 'pep talk'.

Realizing that you were too much of a soft-hearted pathetic idiot to stick up for yourself, Velvette took it upon herself to keep others from pushing you around.

Someone pushed in front of you in the line? Velvette was there telling that cunt exactly why they didn't deserve to even look in your direction.

You were delivered the wrong food order? Velvette would call the restaurant to make sure they knew how utterly useless they were for not even being able to pack a food order.

After laying it on thick whoever wronged you, she would look at you smirking. In turn, you would smile at her happily before kissing her. It turned into a game after some time.

The one time Velvette saw you raise your voice wasn't even to defend yourself. It was to defend her. The moment you calmed down enough to realize what you just said, you were immediately mortified. Burying your face into your hands, you flushed red from embarrassment as Velvette looked at you with wide eyes. Fuck. It was hot seeing you angry…

=========📱=========

Small prompt time~

You and Velvette were walking towards the Coffee Shop right across the street from the V tower. The two of you were holding hands while Velvette was ranting all about how Valentino absolutely destroyed one of her models just before a show when the domestic vibe was ruined by some drunk assholes who came up to them.

"Hey babe, aren't you that cute little overlord with the social media shit? I'll give you something to make a story on Voxstragram with."

As the sinner said this, he made some explicit gestures with his hips. Gagging in disgust Velvette grabbed your hand to walk away from them, not wanting to ruin the cozy coffee date you had planed. However, as you were walking away, all you could hear was the those sinners mocking laughs. You were so angry. You didn't exactly know what made you snap at them. Was it the crass comments regarding your lover? Was it the fact that Velvette refrained from killing them for your sake? Maybe it was both. But before you knew it, you turned around glaring at them before proceeding to curse them into the next afterlife. Velvette looked at you shocked, not expecting you to snap at those no-names. As you calmed down, you looked at Velvette's shocked expression, before burrying your face in your face mumbling something along the lines of: "Let's not talk about this ever again." Velvette pulled your hands from your face, replacing them with hers. As she cradled your face with her hands she smiled at you excited:

"That. Was. Fucking. Awesome. Babe, you were so hot fucking humiliating those pathetic worms."

The first thing Velvette did when they got back to the V tower was spam her groupchat with Valentino and Vox with messages about how cool you were. But you didn't need to know that. After all, she liked taking care of assholes for you. Satan forbid you actually grow a backbone. She dreaded the day you would actually gain the courage to deny her picking your clothes. (as if she would ever let that happen)

[sultrysnail]

My Favorite

Monsterlist Here

Word Count: 1,500+

Themes: merman x gn!reader, no prior relationship, first kiss, sign language, favoritism, swimming, holding breath beneath water, sfw, romance.

Notes: Divider by @/firefly-graphics. Putting on a wet wetsuit sucks. I always think about the way sounds work differently in water, so I thought I'd follow suit with "The Shape of Water" and incorporate sign language into the equation.

Venturing deeper into the aquarium, the false light from the climate controlled tank flittered against the rounded glass and made the water turn a radiant blue. All soft and hard corals and began to glow beneath the blue hue, vibrant displays of neon greens and bright purples eclipsing the backdrop of brown rock to the back of the aquatic display. 

Walking towards the glimmering surface of the pool, you slowly dip your reef-socks against the surface and dampen the bottom hem of your wetsuit. Looking down into the water, you spot the outline of a scaly tail swatting at the sand in a bored flap of petulant displeasure. 

“Where’s my favorite?” you hummed down at the water, lowering your voice in a soft coo as you sat at the water’s edge. Almost immediately the water splashed and revealed the form of your web-handed, scale-covered, aquatic companion wearing a disgruntled pout on his features. Hovering over to the edge beside you, he motioned with several gestures on his hands without moving his lips. 

“You are late,” his hand gestured, his top lip curling back to reveal his jagged and pointed teeth, “Not your favorite.” You smile at him, shaking your head and softly reaching to caress his cheek. He flinches away from your touch and glares up at you through his eyelashes. 

“Oh, come now,” you scold him with a laugh in your tone, “I was maybe ten minutes late, fifteen if I’m pushing it.” He scoffs and gestures to the large analog clock plastered against the wall with his right hand before fluttering his webbed fingers back at you. 

“Twenty-five,” he informed you, his eyes narrowing and glaring at you through his lengthy eyelashes, “Twenty-five minutes. Not your favorite.” You slouch your shoulders and shake your head at him, gently kicking your feet beneath the water. Looking over to the clock, you notice that he was correct: you were a full twenty-five minutes late in meeting with your favorite merman.

“Look, I’m sorry,” you huff out your apology in a soft whisper, “I got caught up with getting the silly wetsuit on. The one I usually wear was borrowed by the other linguistics worker before I started, and you have no idea how hard it is to squeeze these things on when they’re damp.” He swam over to you, shaking his head and glaring at you with rounded eyes. His damp hair clung to his face in patchy strands, prompting him to swat it away from his eyes.

“You want forgiveness?” he asked you with his hands, a condescending glare to depict his attitude was plastered on his face. You nod at him in response, and he scoffs at you immediately thereafter.

“No forgiveness,” he gestured at you, prompting you to lull your head on your shoulders and groan at him. He tapped at your knee to draw back your attention to him and continued to scold you with his hands, “Not your favorite. Have other Aqua here more favorite. No more favorite. I wait long, you here late.” 

“Please,” you ask him, gently clasping your hands over his scale-covered wrists to halt his ranting, “I promise I tried to get here as fast as I could. You know how much I adore you, and you are my favorite.” He pouts and shrugs your hands off his wrists before slotting his torso up between your knees and glaring deeply into your eyes. 

No matter how long you have known this merman, you always forget how much larger he is than you. He is tall, his shoulders muscular and broad, his biceps and forearms lean but holding an otherworldly strength you had never seen meet its equal. His face was topped with slightly raised divots and welts in the shape of glimmering scales to his forehead, jaw and cheekbones that tracked down the outside of his arms, over his spine and ribs and down to his tail. 

You widen your eyes as you slowly take in his appearance closer, his scowl morphing to an expression of confusion and curiosity as his gaze darts all over your face. 

“Why face?” he gestured with his hands before pointing to your eyes, “Eyes big. Have fear? Nervous?” You close your eyes and attempt to stifle your fluster and embarrassment. 

“No, not fear. You’re just-...” you attempt to bite back your desire and hide the flush pooling in your cheeks. Looking back up to meet his eyes, you decide to bare your heart in the name of inter-humanoid relational cooperation and be honest with your aquatic counterpart, “...You’re very handsome, and you’re very close to me right now.” 

He cocks his head to the side before moving in closer to you, his scaled hips slotting between your thighs and drawing the two of you even closer. 

“Handsome?” he gestures, his digits gesturing to himself before waving his dominant, webbed-hand between you both, “Attraction?” You suck your lips into your mouth and slowly nod in a soft, bashful bob. He places his hand on your face, the webbed skin and scaled fingertips feeling foreign on your features. 

“Kiss?” he gestured to you before he smirks at you with a cocky grin. His sharp teeth glinted in the blue light as he bobbed his head in a playful wiggle to taunt you before signing, “Kiss forgiveness?” You huff out a soft laugh at him, shaking your head and giving his shoulders a gentle shove. 

“That would not be very appropriate,” you giggle at him, looking down to where your hands remain on his torso and noticing how his aquatic pectorals seem to dwarf you. Your fluster grows further as he grips your wrists in a soft circle over each side and caresses your skin with a circular gesture. 

He looks down and lowers his head to chase your gaze as you attempt to avoid him with your eyes. Bobbing his head down, he nudges your chin with the crown of his head to move your eyes up. Meeting his gaze once more, he smiles genuinely at you and moves forward to brush his nose against yours playfully before releasing your wrists. 

“Kiss,” he signed with a soft nod, gripping your wrists and manipulating your hands to sign them along with him, “K, I, S, S. Kiss. Want kiss. Kiss forgiveness, kiss means favorite.” You laugh at him before shaking your head and using your own hands to gesture with his in the same way he did with yours.

“You want a kiss in payment of your forgiveness, because you need assurance that you’re still my favorite?” you witness him enthusiastically nod, his tail flickering beneath the water’s surface in gleeful anticipation. You sigh with a soft smile and bite back your inhibitions with a simple confirmation of, “Okay. I’ll kiss you.” He immediately releases your hands from his and places his webbed digits on your thighs to hoist himself up further. 

A small squeak is all you manage to release before his lips capture yours beneath his. His lips feel cooler than yours, his coarse tongue immediately darting out to brush with yours in a deep oscillation. Rolling his chin, he mouths at you and is careful in displaying his raw emotion against your much smaller and more delicate frame. 

His jaggared teeth threaten to puncture your lips as he sucks and licks at you with passion and longing depicted in every motion. Your hands hastily draw themselves up to find purchase against his shoulders, as he forces himself upwards to compress himself as tightly as he could against your chest. His body encumbers and overwhelms yours with his sheer size, his hands darting around your hips and gently lifting your body off the edge of his pool towards him.

You sucked in a sharp breath as he lowers the both of you beneath the water, your lips never breaking as your body adjusts to the compression and swelling of the water covering your head. He breathes into you, his lungs expanding yours and releasing his oxygen to keep you with him longer. He angles his chin to switch positions, spinning you gently beneath the waves as his tail flickers around you in complete joy. 

Pulling away, you look at him as he releases you from his embrace and allows you to become comfortable wading beneath the surface. Your feet slowly peddle to hold you close to his eye-level, your hands gesturing between you and signing to him beneath the water. 

“Am I forgiven for being late?” you ask, holding your breath as you anticipated his response. The deep baritone of his chuckle echoed within the water, his smile painted across his lips offering such a softness as he reached out to caress your cheek.

“I forgive you,” he spoke, his lips moving and propelling a soft expulsion of soft bubbles from his lips, “Need air?” You softly bob your head, expecting him to swim you both back up to the surface. In lieu of flicking his fin and drawing you back up, he swims closer to you and captures your lips with his once again, expanding your lungs with oxygen and smiling against your lips. 

After pulling away, he gazes longingly down at you and asks you sweetly, “Am I still your favorite?” You nod at him with a soft smile on your lips, your hands gesturing to him enthusiastically.

“Yes. You are still my favorite.”

"Good," he responds in kind, pinching your chin in his thumb and webbed fingers, "Because you are mine too."

[creadigol]

Hey y’all! Here’s a little snippet of something that was rattling in my mind. Hope y’all like!

It can be complicated to make sense of family. Hero knew this. Hero had always known this. With how their life was growing up Hero doubted there were many who could understand this concept as well as they did.

But this was just ridiculous.

“The answer is still no,” Hero tried very hard to keep their voice level and calm.

“Seriously? I don’t understand what your problem is!”

The voice over the phone held the tone of one who had already decided they were right and there was no chance of changing.

“It’s not that I have a problem…which I don’t,” Hero ground out. “It’s that I just don’t feel like inviting him.”

“And why not?”

Hero resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of their nose. One, it was a bad habit which showed how frustrated they were; and two, it would loosen their mask. God, couldn’t their sibling have called earlier? Hero really didn’t feel like having this conversation on the roof of a bank at 11pm.

“I don’t need a reason. It’s my call and I don’t want him there. End of story.”

“No, not end of story! This is completely unfair! Why am I always the one trying to hold this family together? You think it’s easy being the responsible one when…”

Hero let the rant commence as they held the phone a few inches from their ear, Sibling gradually getting louder and more hurtful with each word. They looked up at the star bedazzled sky and tried to tune them out until they could jump back in again.

It’s not that Sibling was wrong, it’s just that Hero could only take being called absent and holier than thou so many times. It was the same speech every time a major event happened in Hero’s life. And at the end of every speech, Hero always caved and let Sibling invite the whole family…well not this time.

‘...and out of everyone, you of all people should take the high road on this…”

That did it.

“Me of all people? Why? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Dammit, I’m tired of being the one to take the high road! For once would it kill him to apologize? Or better yet, clean up his fucking act?!”

Sibling was making sputtering noises on the line when another voice joined Hero on the roof.

“Well, I must say I’ve never heard words like this before coming from our fair Hero.”

Hero froze, their sibling yelling into the receiver, and turned.

Villain stood, arms folded, looking incredibly smug.

“I’m going to have to call you back,” Hero said softly. They hung up before Sibling could protest.

Shit, they would hear about that later.

Villain sauntered closer, “Having a little domestic are we? I’ve never seen you that agitated before.”

Hero glared, “Coming to rob the bank?”

Villain chuckled.

“I was, but this is so much more interesting. Come on, what’s happening in the world of the Golden Hero?”

“None of your business,” Hero stood tall. “Now are you breaking the law or not? I have a long patrol tonight.”

“Oh yes, I heard you were taking the long shift tonight. Something about needing time off…wait…that couldn’t be what you were arguing about on the phone was it? Vacation plans gone wrong?”

Hero felt a vein popping in their forehead.

“Why must you alway insist on being a prick? And why do you know my shift schedule?”

Villain shrugged noncommittally, “I have people.”

They walked right into Hero’s space, doing their best to intimidate with their towering stature. Hero refused to move and met their gaze head on.

“You’ve never taken a break before.” Villain stated.

“Never needed to until now,” Hero responded as if Villain had asked a question.

Villain gave them a once over.

“What’s the need?”

God, was Villain always this infuriating?

“Like I said, none of your business. I’m sure you’ll survive a substitute hero for the next few weeks.”

Villain frowned, “Few weeks? That’s a lengthy time.”

Hero rolled their eyes and nodded. They weren’t falling for Villain’s way of fishing for information by not actually asking a question.

“A few weeks and a family member who’s not welcome…if I’m to interpret that phone call correctly. My, my, what do you have planned?” Villain finally took a few paces back to lean on the wall, “Can’t say I’m too thrilled. Other Hero’s are such tight-asses.”

“If you mean that I’m lenient then, yes, they’re not as nice as I am,” Hero smirked.

Villain outright laughed.

“I would describe you as many things Hero, but straight up nice has never been one of them. Seriously, why the vacation? Family reunion or something?”

If Hero’s Sibling had anything to say on the matter it would be.

“Not as such,” Hero relaxed their stance now that Villain was a few paces away. That and it seemed Villain was more in a talking mood tonight. It was rare that they just talked rather than taking on their usual ‘Hero vs Villain’ roles. Rare, but it had happened a handful of times over the course of the last four years. Whether this was professional or not, Hero chose not to think about.

Villain folded their arms in thought, “Birthday? No, yours is in March…A celebration for another medal from the Mayor? No, he’s out of town until next month…” Hero tried hard not to smile as Villain ticked each possibility off their fingers, “Oh I know! You’ve finally graduated high school!”

Now Hero did laugh. It was a running joke with them and Villain’s Henchman that Hero must be younger than they seemed due to their young sound voice. Of course there was no way to tell due to the mask, but Hero estimated they were about the same age as Villain. Something they were sure Villain had put together as well seeing as the Hero Agency didn’t employ anyone under the age of 21.

It didn’t stop the quips though.

“Afraid I did that long ago,” Hero supplied.

“Well then I’m at a loss,” Villain got up and leaned into Hero’s space once more. “Other than medical leave I can’t think of anything else. And I assume you wouldn’t be fighting about invitees if convalescence was your goal.”

“Guess you’ll just have to live with uncertainty,” Hero shrugged and turned to leave the roof. Before they could take a couple of steps a hand was on their arm.

“You really not going to tell?” Villain asked softly. “You seemed upset and not the kind of upset like when you're on the job.”

Hero felt their heart rate increase and their cheeks warm. Why did Villain have to go and ask like that? How could they go from the city’s terror to a caring person with humanity and feelings? Perhaps Hero could tell them…the event was happening down in the Bahamas anyway. Not like Villain could figure it out…

It would be nice to talk to someone not expecting anything from them.

“I have a celebration happening and I don’t want my father to be there…it’s caused rather a ruckus in my family.”

Villain’s hand remained on Hero’s arm. “Well, if it’s your celebration it’s your choice. I don’t see why anyone else should be involved.”

Hero laughed and patted their hand. “And you’ve just summarized the entire argument I’ve been having for the past month.”

Villain released their arm. “I’m smart like that.”

Hero nodded with a warm smile. They turned towards the fire escape.

“Seeing as how you don’t seem to be robbing the bank, I have places to be,” They turned so they were facing Villain while standing on the ladder. “Thanks Villain. I’ll see you in a few weeks if you manage to keep yourself alive.”

“Say that to your replacement hero.” Villain hesitated, “Hero?”

Hero popped their head up from their descent, “Yeah?”

“What is the celebration?”

Hero smiled softly at them.

“I’m getting married,” they whispered.

And then they were gone. Down the fire escape and into the night.

Villain stood stunned, not knowing why the words made their heart freeze and their eyes water.

[fatuismooches]

Thinking bout all the other harbingers being able to tell that Dottore is in love with the reader before he himself realises. God forbid his clones realise before prime does as well 💀

Over time, Dottore doesn't realize how many privileges he has extended to you. In the beginning, he did, he always reminded you of them so you would be aware of how lucky you were and that you shouldn't take it for granted or disappoint him, or else. But as time passed and he very unconsciously grew fond of you, he didn't think much of it. He didn't think much of you brewing his coffee even when he didn't ask for it or how he allowed you to put your hands on him, let you rant to him and he genuinely listened and somehow felt comfortable enough to do the same to you.

It just becomes a... routine, and it doesn't set in exactly. But what does set in is how his chest twists around into something ugly when he sees the other Harbingers get a little too close to you for his liking. (His liking? When did he start associating that with you?) The look Pantalone and Bina share with each other is priceless. Dottore doesn't understand why the banker always asks about you when they meet. (What is he planning?)

No one has to say it, because it's so obvious. Obvious to everyone except Dottore, of course. I imagine since the clones are kind of like extensions of him, perhaps they can feel his feelings to a certain extent...? Even if not, they're not dumb... they can see how often he whisks you away to stay lengthy hours in his office helping him when the segments need your help in the lab... yet their creator still acts as if you are nothing to him... (Not to mention how whenever the segments get a bit close to you, a bit too cuddly, suddenly Prime appears and snatches you away. It's not fun, just admit your feelings already, love).

[amywritesthings]

silver underground. / chapter 19.

( Read on AO3 )

Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) Word Count: 5.3k Summary: flashback nine - also known as the calm before the expedition Warnings: mentions of death, anxiety, mentions of betrayal, unhealthy coping mechanisms, fighting, sexual themes

Previous Chapter. / Next Chapter. | Masterlist.

CHAPTER 18 - FLASHBACK: NINE

Nights turn into years.

The Scouts, to your surprise, take you in as their own. 

They don’t question the nature of your connection with Captain Levi.

They don’t even ask about your time in the Underground City. 

All they’re curious about is the now — the living, present air that surrounds you; the sun that's finally giving your skin a healthy glow; the comradery that’s kept this group alive longer than any of the Interior betting pools imagined.

Together.

That isn’t to say living with the Scout Regiment has been a breeze.

The surface is almost just as tough as living in the Underground but with more light. Fighting titans is difficult and all-around terrifying, but the Special Operations unit is an otherworldly beast fit to take them on. 

At the lead of Commander Erwin and the collaboration between Levi and yourself following close behind, there are more victories in bringing people back to their families than catastrophic losses in numbers.

In terms of discovery, however, the Scouts are lacking in their mission to find anything substantial:

The villages still crawl with titans.

Breaching the forest in order to continue forward proves to be a point of no return Erwin can’t figure out by strategy alone.

The injured trek back to the Walls is always humbling. Over and over, you’re expected to deliver new information to the desperate — and oftentimes ungrateful — people behind the Walls. 

They berate you in the streets, throwing food rations and calling you and the other good-for-nothing Scouts crude names.

You’re taught early to ignore it.

(You aren’t willing to explain to Petra and the others that you and Levi have dealt with much worse at much younger ages.)

Anyone with the Wings of Freedom quickly becomes a communal punching bag, but at least no one dies.

Maybe the runts of the litter get eaten — maybe the cocky ones perish, the reckless ones break their necks, the terrified ones kill themselves — but at least no one you know dies.

(You’re okay with not discovering what’s beyond the forest, if it means none of the Special Operations squad dies.)

It isn’t long before you’re introduced to someone who becomes a constant in your life:

Hange Zoe, Section Commander — Levi’s first friend in the Survey Corps.

And, as it stands, they seem pretty hellbent on becoming yours, too.

Hange is a wild-haired, glasses-wearing individual that prides themself on their extensive titan knowledge.

Just like Levi, they stumbled head-first into your life and never left. 

They appears one foggy afternoon a few months into your Scout Regiment career. Their first day to headquarters was a memorable one.

You never anticipated the sheer amount of words that could come out of one person’s mouth. One lengthy monologue after the next, Hange caught you up to speed on the titan research program — whether you cared or not.

The Special Operations team was more than happy to trap you with Hange at the mess room table for hours so that they could be spared.

(According to Gunther, enduring their rants is just considered Special Ops hazing.)

Jokes on them: you were happy to listen, because Hange reminds you so much of Isabel.

It’s bittersweet, sharing meals and traveling with someone just as excited about the world as your young friend had been. They marvel at the little things that surround them, their smile as joyous and free as the late redhead that you once shared a cramped Underground City bedroom with.

Hange acts as though they’d known you their entire life.

They treat you as if you’d always been a friend, a very good friend, and you don’t shy from kindness the way Levi does. 

Levi, on the other hand, acts like a malevolent cat in their presence, but Hange takes it in stride.

You know Levi well enough to know it’s all an act — Hange is just as much his favorite within the Scouts as they are yours.

You’re not one to believe in fate, but many a night staying up talking to Hange about a future they see feels like your life, this strange life, was meant to be. 

That, through the comradery of the Scouts, you can learn to trust again, to laugh again, to reinvent yourself again — and not hang onto Levi’s every movement like his shadow.

You create your own space within the Special Operations squad; one where you are praised for your quick thinking, ODM maneuvering, and fearlessness in battle. 

You grow your own friendships. 

Hardships.

Inside jokes.

Celebrations. 

Bonds forged by strength and by trauma.

(Your own shadow.)

“Oi, where’s Levi?”

You had been busy reading reports in your former bunk room, now morphed and redecorated into your Lieutenant’s quarters.

It’d been a few hours since the last short-term mission ended — you had nearly gotten your ass handed to you by an eight-meter titan with a particularly animated body. Where most titans walk slowly, aimlessly, this one had a frenzied mission. A desire to run.

According to Hange, they're calling them Abnormals.

They’re a new type of nightmare that only keep showing up more and more every trip outside the Walls.

“Hello, earth to James,” Hange sing-songs as they wander in.

You glance up, distracted.

“Hmm? Where’s Levi?” you repeat. “I don’t know, why?”

“Because you two always have a sixth sense on where the other is,” Hange reasons, flopping down in the chair across from you. “It’s freaky.”

“The person who talks to titans is calling me freaky?” you ask with a smirk playing on your lips.

“That’s when you know it’s the truth,” they reply, not skipping a beat. “What is that whole thing about, anyway?”

“What?”

“Sorry, let me rephrase. I never asked: Levi came into the Scouts, right? In all his grumpy glory. Then two months later, you joined us.”

You squint as a response to Hange’s presented puzzle.

“That guy is a hard nut to crack. You must have some kind of special sauce to get him to trust you so fast. Unless…”

The others still don’t know.

Well, they know — they know Levi is incredibly protective of you.

They know you look to his guidance before anyone else.

They know the two of you often disappear to spar.

(Surely they must know where you are almost every night but are too afraid to speak up. It doesn't hinder Scouting missions in the morning.)

“We knew each other before the Scouts,” you finally confess, and Hange’s eyes blow wide with the validation.

“I knew it,” they tell you, snapping their fingers. “The Underground City, right?”

You nod, folding the map in two. “Kids that grow up there stick together.”

The shift in Hange’s expression is almost comical, bordering on conspiratorial.

“Ah-ha. So you two have been fighting alongside one another for a long time. This puts my theory of a weird cranial connection to bed. It’s just childhood friendship.”

You have to try not to smirk. “Yup, just that. No conspiracies needed.”

“Well, that’s one mystery down.” They gesture to their bare neck with their index finger. “I’m still trying to figure out the deal with that, though.”

“Huh?”

“You know, the deal.” They lean over the table to blatantly point at the silver necklace peeking out of your button-down ivory shirt, its pendant sitting against your sternum. “With. That.”

Right.

The necklace you never took off. The necklace you care for with a delicate touch. The necklace that you sleep in, bathe in, fight in.

“It’s just a necklace.”

“Sure.” Their glasses slide down the bridge of their nose. “Just a necklace.”

You laugh, turning your report face down on the table. “Sounds like you don’t believe me.”

“I don’t.” Hange smirks. “I’m supposed to be observant, remember? Well, I have deduced in my observations—”

“Ooh, a deduction,” you tease.

“—that it has importance. So what gives? Does that have something to do with a certain someone?”

Too close to him. 

You roll your eyes, sliding your hands from the table’s surface to lean back in the wooden chair.

“How come you wanna know about it so bad, then, if it’s just a necklace?”

“I said it isn’t just—”

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, now you’re twisting my words.”

“And you’re about to lose your glasses,” you tell them, and they push the center up their nose in short defiance. “What’s the reason you’re so interested all of a sudden?”

Hange groans in the pale torch light, sliding down into their seat in dramatized agony. “Be-cause I saw a titan almost snap that thing in half and you went totally berserk.”

“So?”

“So! I saw how fast you sliced that thing up!” Hange chuckles. “Like you had a personal vendetta against the damn thing. That was supposed to be my new test subject, y’know.”

You chuckle low, burying your chin in the mouth of the emerald green cape around your shoulders. Under the fabric you hold the tiny gemstone, running it between your fingers with admiration.

“Titans should learn not to touch my shit, then.”

“Hey, shitheads.”

The deep voice makes you sit taller, lips parted with a greeting that never quite comes to fruition. 

Hange stays hunched over the table as Levi steps into the room. His hand grips tightly around the circumference of a steaming tea cup.

“Hey, Levi,” Hange greets in return. “James was just telling me all about how you two knew each other before the Scouts.”

Levi shoots you a look, and your brow quirks. Nothing too big. His shoulders relax a fraction of an inch.

“Did you tell Four Eyes how I used to always win at spars?” He drops down in a seat at the table, draping his arm over the back.

“I would never lie to poor Hange like that.”

“It wouldn’t be a lie.”

“Would, too.” You gesture to Hange. “Section Commander, would you believe me if I said he won every fight?”

Hange squints. “I’d have to observe for myself.”

Levi smirks, his lips covered by the tea cup. 

You groan, leaning over the table to plead your case. “Hange, you’re supposed to say yes.”

“Not without proper evidence!” Hange refutes.

You scoff. “Some friend you are.” 

“See, Levi? She said I’m a friend,” Hange adds, pointing to you. They lean back. “One day you’re going to say the same thing.”

Levi snorts. “Sure, when I’m shitting myself dead.”

Hange squints at the raven-haired man. “Why is it always shit jokes with—”

“James.”

It’s neither Hange or Levi that says your name.

You turn to see Eld standing at the doorway of the kitchen.

He seems… uncertain of how to approach your bedroom despite how the door is already open for wandering company. 

He shifts in his stance, clearing his throat.

“Commander Erwin wanted to speak with you,” Eld informs you, eyes flickering over your face. 

The smile you have from your conversation with Hange begins to slowly fall. 

“Something up?” Hange asks.

Eld ignores them, staring at you instead.

You turn your chin to Levi, but the captain doesn’t react. He continues sipping his tea in silence.

“Now?” you ask.

“Now,” he confirms.

You catch Hange’s eyes before pushing the chair out. “Alright, fine.”

It isn’t like Erwin to summon people, much less you. If he has something to say, he usually does so by seeking out the person in question himself. 

Sending Eld only means that he may be discussing matters with the rest of the Levi Squad on an individualized basis.

Maybe it’s to debrief from the short mission a few hours ago.

Maybe he’s looking for counsel on the strategy map you’d been pouring over before Hange and Levi swung by.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t leave you with a great feeling in your gut.

Up the stairs and down a narrow corridor sits Erwin Smith’s office. He has the door slightly ajar, the room illuminated solely by half-lit candles. 

You knock your knuckles against the wooden slab.

“Commander?”

Erwin is sitting at his desk with pages of letters, diagrams, and what you presume to be Hange’s crude drawings of the titans they had captured three months prior. His dark emerald trench coat hangs loosely from the chair’s back.

His piercing blue eyes lift, staring straight at you.

“Come in, Lieutenant.”

You were never a fan when he called you that.

Lieutenant — it was a fake title to keep the masses from ever questioning your spot on the Special Operations squad, same with Levi. 

Citizens never questioned it. Military Police, however, were never a fan.

Yet when Erwin said it, it always followed with something you wouldn’t enjoy hearing. Like you were being chastised for something before you knew the crime you’d committed.

“Is something the matter?”

“Not explicitly, no,” Erwin tells you, dropping his gaze to his papers briefly before glancing back up. “Close the door, please.”

Great.

Something was wrong.

You roll your eyes, closing the door. Your back stays pressed against it, arms crossed over your chest.

Maybe Levi became close with Erwin throughout the years, acting as his right-hand man through the thick of battle, but you had no interest in crowding his flank.

You didn’t like the method to Commander Erwin’s madness. It often went to great lengths at the cost of others; casualties be damned so long as the mission was successful.

You’re certain that’s why the public hates all of you.

Erwin, however, does not cater to the public’s opinion of himself, not when he can keep pushing towards the forest no one can quite yet conquer.

“I need you to be honest with me, Lieutenant,” he sighs, pushing his papers to the side.

You quirk a brow, staying put against the door. “I didn’t eat the rest of the potatoes, if that’s what you’re about to accuse me of.”

The blonde smirks, albeit briefly. “No, it has nothing to do with food rations.”

For a moment, the two of you stare each other down. You clench your jaw and neutralize your expression as he tries to decipher you well before the inquiry is asked. 

It’s a game of mental chess.

You won’t give him the satis—

“Lieutenant, what is your connection to Captain Levi?”

You pause. 

This question sounds like a layered spring trap — step too close with a simple answer and Erwin has the potential to drown your words in assumptions and claims.

Your heart beats a little faster. 

“You already know my connection to Captain Levi, sir.”

“You don’t need to sir me,” Erwin says, like the casual coolness of the statement will somehow ease the tension cinching your shoulder blades together. “And I never heard it from you, not directly.”

“Because you stuck my face in some mud and talked over me the day you made me think my business partners were dead,” you reply with little tact.

Erwin can’t help but smile at the snip. It’s annoying how he takes everything in stride.

“Yes. I didn’t give you much choice to explain yourself then, so I will ask you now.”

He locks eyes, and you can’t escape.

“What is he to you?”

Everything stills.

You don’t like where this is headed.

Although you spent plenty of nights in Levi’s bedroom, sometimes even switching it up to linger in yours, you both had been so careful to keep the relationship out of sight and out of mind.

You clench your jaw tighter. “Levi Ackerman is my former business partner, just the same as Isobel Magnolia and Furlan Church.”

“And?”

“And?” your brows knit. “And he is… a friend. Family.”

“A very close friend,” he surmises with a thick brow raised in question. “One you would move mountains to protect, yes? Even if you could not be beside him?”

The implications of his words instantly make you distrust the Commander’s intentions with this conversation.

While you feel close with the Scouts within the Special Ops squad, there is no mistake to be made: only one name rings true as your top priority.

And it isn’t Erwin. It isn’t Hange. It isn’t Petra, or Oluo, or Eld, or Gunther.

Fear grips your heart. 

Like a cornered animal, you speak out of turn.

“Are you implying you have a plan to split us up?”

To move you to another squad.  

It’s the first idea that pops into your panicked brain.

A captain and a lieutenant on one team didn’t really ring fair — not when you could lead up your own squad.

You don’t want to.

“Is that what this is? To gauge whether or not I’d be willing to transfer? To finally move me to some other squad so I can lead alongside Levi Squad?”

“No.”

“Because if the intent of this question on whether or not I would hurt someone that would try to separate us, Commander, then you are sorely mistaken to think that I would be alright with—”

“James,” Erwin coos, voice deceiving soft when he lifts a palm. “I have no intentions to separate or reorganize Levi Squad.”

You realize what you just blurted. 

What you’ve revealed.

You gave him all of your cards, tossing them clear to the desk in front of you.

Fuck.

You close your mouth, afraid you’ve done something horrible wrong.

Erwin gives no sign of winning the upper hand in his expression. He does, however, keep his brow gentle.

“Something new came to my attention while you were on your mission,” he tells you with purpose in an effort to calm the tension in the room. “An opportunity to navigate the forest in full with the potential to eliminate the predicted death rate. Eighty percent to forty. Slashed in half.”

You stare, choosing your next words very carefully.

“The forest is untouchable.”

“It is.”

“The last strategy didn’t work.”

“I know, Lieutenant.” He leans back in his chair. “It’s a risky mission. One that requires the best Scouts I have at my disposal. I believe, if we use my new formation, then we can pierce through the forest and find our way on the other side.”

You try to connect the dots eons away from one another. 

If Erwin wanted to give you a job, then why didn’t he just say it?

“...you know I’m willing to go, Commander,” you tell him, brows knit.

“I know you would be,” he replies, “but Captain Levi is not willing to take that risk.”

Your blood runs cold.

What?

Your chin juts abruptly to the left, head tilting as you try to process what he’s saying between the lines.

He knew you would say yes to the risky mission. You’re happy to take the risky missions.

But Captain Levi…

“What does Levi have to do with this?” you ask before you can help yourself.

“Levi came up with the strategy to breach the forest in conjunction with my formation, but he requested that I not allow you to join us.”

Erwin rests his palms against his ribcage, lacing his fingers together. He sighs through his nose, contemplating. 

“You see, now, why I wanted to know what your relations were to him.”

That ice-cold stream in your veins quickly shifts to molten.

He went behind your back?

“Levi wouldn’t do that,” you murmur, but you're not certain when you speak.

(Because it wouldn’t be the first time, you realize; deep in your gut.)

“He did,” Erwin corrects. “He has. An hour ago, to be exact.”

While you were talking to Hange?

“I’m good for the mission, Erwin,” you tell him, using his first name despite how you feel about familiarity with him.

“I know you are, James,” he replies with less formality. “And I’m willing to bypass Levi’s wishes if you want to join us on the expedition beyond the forest.”

Your mouth dries up.

Everything feels… nauseating.

There is a betrayal festering in your belly, one you cannot ignore in front of Erwin.

You have to go.

You have to find Levi.

“Permission to be excused?” you abruptly request. “I think I need to speak with Captain Levi myself, but rest assured I am going on that expedition.”

“Excused, Lieutenant,” he signs off, staying seated.

You never rip open a door so fast in your life.

Your boots echo down the corridor, face hot with embarrassment and worry.

Why would he tell Erwin not to let you go?

Why would he do that behind your back?

You round the corner, headed straight for his bedroom. When your hand jiggles the knob, it’s locked shut.

Then you continue further down the hall to the next room on the opposite end.

Your room.

Levi continues to sip tea slowly at your table, reading over the map you had folded up with mild interest. 

Hange is nowhere to be found. 

Good. It’s easier if they’re gone.

“Ackerman.”

The abruptness of his last name has him as still as a statue.

Only his gray eyes flicker up past the cup, pausing in his sip. Your lip curls as you force the words out of your mouth.

“We’re sparring.”

Levi sets his tea up on the tiny saucer below. “Excuse me?”

“I said we’re going outside and fucking sparring, Captain,” you snarl. “Let’s go.”

Because you can’t yell at him.

Not here, not when there’s a possible audience in the echoing hallways.

You hear the wooden chair scrape across the floor, and slow boots step out into the hallway with you. You don’t look back. 

Down the stairs, around the foyer, and out of the headquarter entrance you go — with every step, the more upset you get.

“This night has gotten dramatic,” he calls to you once he reaches the mouth of the sparring ring. “What did Erwin have to say?”

You turn on the heel of your boot, remaining silent.

You want him to say it first. To confess.

(You want him to prove that Erwin is lying.)

He doesn’t.

He just waits, infuriatingly patient.

“You know what Erwin had to say,” you seethe. “How could you?”

He blinks twice, inhaling slowly through his nose.

Then, he shrugs off his uniform jacket and hangs it by a nearby tree branch. He rolls up his sleeves to his elbows.

“I need you to make sure Hange doesn’t get eaten by their next test subject," he flatly explains.

“Oh, so we lie to each other now?” you ask. In a cascade of pops to your left hand, you crack your knuckles.

“James—”

Too late.

You throw the first punch, and he dodges it easily. His gaze hardens.

“Sloppy,” he comments.

Hurting Levi isn't your goal, but you don't know what else to do with this rage. This is the only way you can properly express the uncertainty festering in your belly.

Levi gets that.

He doesn't judge that.

To quell your budding panic attack, he'll easily deflect your advancements and tire you out.

(He's the only one. He's always been the only one.)

“You have some fucking nerve," you bite, nostrils flaring. "You wanna know what he asked me before he told me about your little forest plan?”

You kick him, and it happens to land.

You’re fairly certain he gave you a freebie.

His brow quirks, so you continue.

“Erwin asked me what we were.”

That seems to pause his defense, though he easily pushes away your next punch.

“And?”

“I told him we fuck.” The whites of Levi’s eyes grow. “Every single night under everyone’s noses — on every surface of his precious little headquarters —”

“You didn’t.”

“Yeah, asshole, I didn’t. I’m lying. Kind of like you lied right to my face.”

“I didn’t lie to you about the plan.” Levi throws a half-hearted punch for good measure. You deflect. "Can't lie if I didn't tell you about it."

“Shut — up.” You snap, throwing another hard hook at him.

Like lightning, he deflects. When he grabs your wrist, you struggle to rip your arm out of his grip. Levi drags you into his chest, keeping you trapped against him, the air heavy between you.

Panting through your nose, you work through your fury and hurt by staring him down.

“I’m going.”

His eyes narrow. “No.”

“What the fuck has you so scared, Levi?” you beg, and he falters for a moment. “We promised we’d be at each other’s sides, so what gives?”

Levi considers your words, searching your face. He keeps the mask up, not allowing you in — which hurts.

“You saw one today, right?” he murmurs, low and dangerous. “An Abnormal.”

The creature's wild, deranged grin still lingers in your mind’s eyes. How it ran at you on all fours, unlike any titan you’ve ever seen before. It was terrifying, but you don’t have to tell him that.

He's seen them, too.

“According to our intel, that place is crawling with Abnormals. The forest floor is a suicide pit. That’s why we can’t push on.”

“So?”

“So?” His brows knit. “If we push in, then that means they may run the other way. They may sense we have a titan held captive here. I need you to stay with Hange and Moblit while they experiment on that freak to make sure they’re safe.”

Deja Vu hits you.

“I’m going,” you robotically repeat as you work through why this feels so familiar.

“You’re not, I — did you not just listen to me, shithead?”

“I’m going,” you repeat once more, convincing yourself more than him.

Levi eases up on your wrist, panting.

"This is a waste of time.”

He pushes you away and turns a heel, heading back towards headquarters.

“Hey," you murmur.

The abrupt jolt of violence is what you need to wake up: to realize you’ve had this conversation before.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” you shout after him.

He doesn’t look back.

A humorless laugh leaves your mouth before you launch into your final plea.

“You’re always so quick to walk the fuck away.”

That gets him to stop.

His eyes, wide with his own budding fury, stare back at you, so you continue to speak. 

“The second you think my life is in danger, you shut me out. It's textbook Levi. You stop thinking of me as a viable teammate and more like someone you should babysit.”

Levi’s nostrils flare. “James.”

“No, you listen to me, you piece of shit,” you angrily snap. “You sidelined me back in the Underground City on our last job, and look what happened. It failed. We lost everything. You got taken to the Scouts. Isabel and Furlan died.”

“Stop.”

“Countless times you’ve chosen Eld and Gunther to join you on camp watch when we’re beyond the Walls. You’ve never once asked me to take the hard watches.”

“I was avoiding the look of favoritism,” he growls, gritting his teeth.

You keep going with a small, humorless laugh. “Oh, I see right fucking through you, Levi Ackerman. The countless times you’ve put me with Petra or Oluo? With Hange and Moblit? What’s the excuse you always, always, use?”

He turns his cheek, but you push your hand against his face to turn him back to you.

“Protection, that’s right. I have to protect people. I always have to fucking protect everyone while you play martyr. Humanity’s Strongest, right?”

His eyes turn to slivers of anger. “Don’t.”

“That’s what they’re calling you behind the Walls," you mock. "Captain Levi, Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, always willing to do the hard shit. You don’t give a damn that I’m worried sick over not having your back. It's only about your fears, never mine. Now you’re escalating it to, what, forbidding me to go on missions with you, too?”

“You fought an Abnormal for the first time today,” he quickly argues back, under his breath to keep control of his volume. “What did you say in your report? An eight-meter titan almost got you? You were lucky to escape, right?”

You can’t help but scowl. “Yes, but—”

“But, what?" he challenges with a hiss. "You wanna go back out to the den where they all shit together? Was one not enough for you today?”

“That’s what Scouts do, Levi,” you argue, rounding him as he starts to walk away again. You walk backwards, keeping in time with his steps. “We know the risks.”

“You’re not going.”

“You don’t have a fucking say in that.”

“I do.”

“Levi, no you don’t. You don’t own me,” you seethe. “Why do you think you can just order me around to sit back and watch you fight these things without me? Why don’t you trust me to fight beside you for once? Why—”

“Because if I lose you this time, then that’s it!”

He shouts, unlike himself. The volume surprises you as much as it does him.

You freeze, eyes growing wide and mirroring his own.

The echoes bounce off the trees, rustling the wind.

“I lost you when we were kids,” he confesses with a slight crack to his voice, exhausted. “I lost you when the job went wrong — James, please, I love you so goddamn much and I will lose my fucking mind if something happens to you.”

Your expression unravels, softening in his broken plea for absolution.

“Yeah, I leave you out and I am sorry if that hurts your feelings, but if I don’t have you to come home to — then what the fuck is this for?”

He is out of breath, as if a giant weight has lifted.

The emotion is far too much for him to handle.

He’s grasping at straws to hold him steady.

“Nothing will happen to me.” You see a flicker of grief pass over his stern face. “Levi, I’m not going anywhere. Hey…”

You near him, pulling his face towards you by cradling his head in your palms.

He closes his eyes, breathing sharply through his nostrils as he tries not to relax into the moment.

“You don’t know that,” he protests under his breath. “The forest is dangerous.”

“But if I have you watching my every move, how could we lose? Fighting right by your side and never leaving it,” you remind him, running a thumb gently along his cheekbone. “Remember when I promised you I wouldn’t die on you?” 

He scoffs, but you duck your chin to meet his eyes.

“Y’know, the first night you…”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember,” he interrupts.

You can’t help but smile. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, shithead, of course I do," he deflates, opening his gray eyes to study you. A light shade of pink peppers his cheeks. "Not exactly a night I could forget."

You continue caressing his cheek, knowing how much it can soothe him.

He fights it, but ultimately he relents.

Releases.

"I won't die on you," you repeat, firmer this time.

"I know," he exhales. "Because if you died on me, I’d drag your ass out of wherever shitty afterlife they stick you in and bring you back myself.”

You believe him.

For a moment you both stand here in the dark, coming down from the adrenaline.

After a minute passes, you speak softer.

"We'll clear the forest."

"I know."

"And we'll be able to return to the Walls with the first update in years."

"I know."

“And then when you're done meeting with the Commander, I’ll be waiting in your bed—”

Levi’s eyes snap open from the outwardly bold suggestion. “James—”

“—with a dozen apologies in a dozen different positions—”

He presses a hand over your mouth to muffle the other dirty things you want to say before they turn into giggles.

He kisses the back of his hand and shakes his head.

“You’re a fucking nightmare.”

Eventually he lets go, and you press a chaste kiss to his lips.

“I mean it. We’ll come home.”

A moment passes, but Levi eventually pulls your forehead to rest against his.

“Yeah. Right home.”

.

Author's Notes:

CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING FLASHBACK ART THAT @ariessential CREATED! I have it saved to my desktop so I can admire it while I'm writing. I'm obsessed.

Happy holidays to those who are celebrating this weekend! Next chapter is the final flashback. I am sure you all know where this is headed, so all aboard the pain train. Your reblogs, comments, and engagement with this story keeps this engine going. Thank you, thank you.

deleted scene 02. :: an alternate version, aka the first draft, of that forest moment in chapter nine.

[wettvagina]

EXCHANGE warnings: tojixreader , p in v , creampie , pussy eating , fingering

"Honestly, I don't know if I can take you back." you sigh, tears were stinging your eyes, and your throat felt empty, yet you felt suffocated, he stood in front of you. His large hand rubbing at the back of his neck, a coy smile tugged at his lips as he held a bouquet of roses in his other hand.

"Baby, please." he pleaded, "No!" you asserted, gripping onto the sheets as he stood in front of you. "I told your sorry ass if you mess up one more time, thats it, were over!" you ranted, "Baby, baby, listen. Let me make it up to you" he offered, tossing the roses onto the cushion which you sat on.

Getting down on his knees in front of you, "Toji, No!" you protested, "Listen, you just need to relax, baby." Toji muttered, his lips pressing against your thighs as he parted your legs. "Toji- ah-!" you moaned when he immediately stuck his large fingers into your unprepared pussy, causing you to moan loudly.

"Shit." Toji moans onto your clit, as you felt the vibrations of his vocalization, his tongue swirls onto your clit as he pushes his lengthy fingers in and out of your now damp pussy. "That good, baby?" he asks, lips not leaving the contact of your clit.

"Mhmm" you could barely form cohesive thoughts or sentences, his fingers pumped into you at a godly pace as his tongue circled your puffy clit, before sucking on the bundle of nerves, making your head fall back and your eyes roll back into your head.

"Gonna! Fuck, I'm gonna come!" you moaned as his tongue delivered one final circle to your clit. Briskly, he stood onto his feet, fingers still in your pussy. "Fuck, yeah, make a mess on me." he groaned as he struggled to unbuckle his belt with his vacant hand.

You came all over his thick fingers, barely giving you time to pant, he hoisted you onto him, holding your thighs as he instructed you to wrap your arms around his neck. "Gonna fuck you now, make things better, okay baby." he insists, you felt the tip of his cock tap the rim of your wet pussy.

He shoved his entire length into you in one swift motion, barely giving you time to process everything, "Shit, shit, shit. So tight." he grunted, holding your thighs to move you up and down his cock.

You moaned loudly into his ears as he slid you up and down his dick, your damp walls pressed onto his hard, thick cock. His heavy balls slapped onto your ass each time his cock fully entered you and you felt like if you were already about to come, Toji panted heavily as his eyelids grew heavy.

Toji gripped onto your thighs vehemently as he began thrusting into you, his dick pounding into you as his fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs. "Baby, I'm gonna come." he moans as you feel his dick tensen inside of you. "Gonna fill you up. Make you a mommy." he groans into your ear as you feel his thick, creamy come penetrate into you.

Your eyes widened and you scrunch your eyebrows together as you wrapped your legs around his waist, hearing him breathe heavily as a mixture of your come dripped down your thighs and onto his.

[lpsotd]

important post ‼️ (kinda)

greetings and salutations. i am making this post to say two things !!

i am going to clear out my inbox !! at the time of me writing this, i have 418 asks and the more i look at them and watch them grow, i am filled with dread because i don't want to answer any of them. no offense to anyone, i love receiving and answering asks but i have somehow managed to allow over 400 of them pile up and it is very overwhelming. i am only one person and i cannot manage all of these, so i think my best course of action is to clear them out bottom to top and leave the most recent ones.

2. (this is the most important one) i am going on hiatus !! what i said about asks becoming overwhelming and dreadful also applies to running this blog as a whole. i love running this blog so much, it is my baby, but i would be lying if i said i don't open tumblr some days and go "uuugh" because i tell myself i have to log into here. i've been considering taking a break since early november, and my initial plan was to leave sometime before christmas, but that didn't exactly happen.

recently i have begun to experience what i can only call a "mini identity crisis", and i don't quite know who i am. i think what i need right now is to avoid any potential stress and take some time to figure myself out.

of course, i am not completely abandoning this blog !! i will be back eventually (most likely before my birthday on feburary 28th). the date is not certain, but know i will return !!

lpsotd is only being run by one person and i do not plan to change that. i consider this blog to be a work of passion and me adding someone else on to manage it may break what i have.

is this lengthy rant too much for a littlest pet shop blog? yes but i do not care.

i will stop answering asks and adding things to the queue after the horse tournament has concluded (in about a week) — i shall return whenever i am ready. thank you for understanding <3

[glitch-karma]

Hi there! If requests are still opened, i'd love to make one :o (although it's a bit lengthy, so if you don't want to do it I understand!!)

TW for s**cide mentions from here forward btw! (common with any dazai fic, lolz)

I'd love to request a dazai x reader (fem or gn will work!) where he asks reader to commit double suicide with him, and to literally everyone's shock, they agree! So the agency (mainly kunikida and atsushi) have to repeatedly sabatoge their attempts, and during that time, the two start to get to know eachother better and grow closer whilst they aren't plotting their own demises. Eventually dazai starts to fall for them, but one day reader tries to attempt on their own life solo due to being unable to handle the pains and pressures of life anymore. Ofc they were rescued just in time, but it made him realize that he wants to see reader safe and happy, and that he had finally found his reason to live through his love for them. Extra points if he confesses his love at some point and reader accepts!!

Sorry if this was rant-y, i'm a huge sucker for angst to comfort :P either way tho, i hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night!

THIS RIGHT HERE IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY OH MY!!!!

-F!Y/n

-Y/n is a new worker at the Cafe under the ADA

-MAJOR SUICIDE WARNING!! (Including but not limited to: Blood, pills, self-harm, etc..) I am a sucker for graphic detail so you have been warned

-Also warning for puke

-Reader is kinda based off of Mafuyu from Project Sekai cause I said so (Btw pjsk simps gonna open up reqs for them when they become open again‼️)

-also reader has dull eyes cause anime logic

I did probably a concerning amount of research on suicide, (Plus looked for so long for Dazai's stupid lil book) for this so I hope you enjoy!

_____

Break time at the Armed detective agency usually means having some coffee at their favorite cafe. As the group sat down Dazai was glancing around when his eyes caught the sight of the new waitress waiting next to a barista Dazai frequently flirted with. The girl had semi-messy h/c colored hair, her eyes a dull e/c. Her features framed her face so beautifully. Dazai's mouth curled into a smirk as he stared at her. Kunikida caught wind and immediately irked. "Dazai.."

As the waitress approached the table, Dazai read the name stage reading "Y/n". He smiled as she stopped at their table. Before she could get a word out Dazai grabbed her hand in his. "Such soft hands.. And beautiful eyes as well. Would you, Belladona, do me the honors of accompanying me to a double suicide?"

WHACK

Dazai was now lying on the floor, as Kunikida brushed himself off. "I'm so sorry Ma'am, he's always like this-" Atsushi apologized as Y/n leaned down to the man on the floor. "I'd gladly join a double suicide." She smiled down at him.

. . .

"WHAT!?!"

"Really!?!" Dazai yelled as he stood up, grabbing Y/n's hand again. Y/n chuckled as she nodded at him. "I get off at 6. You work in this building correct? I'll meet you on the roof." "Yes yes, that sounds wonderful~!"

Everyone at the table stared shell-shocked as Y/n takes their order normally like nothing just happened. As dazai kicked his legs in his own little world, Kunikida Atsushi and Junichiro all stared at each other in concern. Kunikida pulled them behind a menu quickly.

"As much as I'd love to let that dimwitt meet his end, we need him and that girl to stay alive. It isn't right letting a young lady with so much life in her die with that blasted Dazai." Kunikida sighed. Atsushi and Junichiro nodded in sync.

"Once Dazai leaves to meet her we should follow them," Atsushi whispered. Junichiro hummed in agreement. "It's decided then." Junichiro finished. The three quickly separated from the menu as Y/n walked over and set down their drinks. As she walked away dazai starstruck-ingly called out; "See you tonight Madameeee~". Y/n peeked over her shoulder, smiling at him. Dazai felt his heart flutter a bit at those beautifully dull eyes.. They seemed to draw him in for more.

...

As Dazai whipped open the doors to the building roof, he caught sight of the lady ready to accompany him with his final dance. Her hair was gently blowing in the warm Yokohama breeze as she stared off into the sky. What was she looking at? Dazai didn't know. But her eyes looked so sickeningly dull in that moment. But still, so beautiful..

"I'm pleasantly surprised to see you here! I was concerned you agreed simply to make me leave you alone." The dark-eyed man said, leaning next to her. "I'd never joke about suicide. Such a beautiful ending to a sick existence." Y/n spoke lowly. In the cafe, she had a sort of customer voice, but there was no trace of it here. Dazai smirked a bit at this.

"I should let you know now, I'm not interested in pain. I don't know exactly what you're into though.." Dazai teased her. "Pain is not something I'm looking for either. Just a quick ending."

Dazai chuckled, quickly whipping out his little red book. "Suffocation, Hanging, Poisoning, Shooting, Jumping," He read off as Y/n stared at him. Only blinking in response. "All the ideas you could storm up are right here in this very book."

"Ah! What a glorious book,, if I wasn't planning on dying I'd buy a copy.." Y/n smiled lightly. "But.." she continued, grabbing the book and shutting it quickly. "I'd like to try jumping first."

With a quick grab of Dazai's shirt, the two were suddenly falling off the roof of the building. Y/n shut her eyes, waiting for the end of it all.

Poof.

The two landed on a bunch of garbage bags stacked up on each other. Y/n quickly sat up in disappointment as Dazai lay on the ground is fear and confusion. "Dang."

Dazai suddenly bursted into laughter. Y/n hummed, turning to him. "What's so funny?" Dazai wiped a tear from his eye as he sat up too. "You're the most forward suicidal girl I've ever met, my dear Y/n." He chuckled. Y/n blushed lightly before standing up.

"No matter.. We'll try again. Tomorrow. You can choose the method." She smiled at him. Dazai chuckled as he stood, lending her a hand up as he did so. "It's a date." He joked.

. .

"GAHHHH I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GONNA MAKE IT." "Oh be quiet Atsushi, my Ideals were almost perfect."

There were the secret team, two sweaty messes, and one writing vigorously in his notebook. The three had watched Dazai enter the roof before running down to prepare in case they jumped, finishing just before they did.

"This might be a long couple of days.." Junichiro said quietly.

...

Day 2

"Oiiiii! Y/n dear!" Dazai yelled as he entered the roof. "Ah, hello Dazai." the girl lightly smiled. "What will we be doing today?"

Time after time,

Day 3

"Oh, Y/n you're here late! Well? Shall we begin?"

Attempt after attempt,

Week 3

"Dazai! Hurry we'll miss the train!" "Yes yes, my dear!"

The two met almost every day.

Month 2

The two had been testing the faith of this world as they attempted suicide again and again. Slowly, Dazai started to see something he hadn't before. Something fluttered in his chest..

The way she gets so distracted, the way she turned to yell at him when he took a joke too far, the way her nose scrunched up in such a way, those eyes.. Those beautifully dull eyes.

What was this feeling in Dazai's chest?

As Dazai thought intensely at his desk the others in the office grew worried. "What's up with Dazai today?" Atsushi mumbled. "I'm not sure.. I've never seen him think this much before."

"It's so clear what his problem is." Ranpo mumbled as he sucked on a loli. Dazai's head shot up immediately. "You know what this feeling is in my chest!? Please, explain Ranpo! Have I been poisoned? Is it fatal? Will I finally die? I can't die without Y/n."

Ranpo sighed as he bit off the lollipop. "No nothing of the sort, you're simply in love with that cafe waitress."

...

"Did he really just say that in front of us all!?"

Everyone at the agency thought in shock. Dazai's eyes were wide as he stared at Ranpo. His cheeks were flushed as he pondered the idea. The great Dazai? In love?

"This feeling in my chest.." He thought in shock. "That's a heart by the way," Ranpo smirked at the flustered Dazai. Dazai looked down for a moment, before springing up. He slammed his fist down loudly."This is..."

"Truly wonderful!!"

Dazai yelled as he pranced around the office. The majority of the group stared in dismay as he did so. "Ah, how perfect! I'm in love with the person I plan to meet my end with! We can plan a lovelier more passionate suicide now! How beautiful!"

"I should go confess right away! We can begin planning for our end together!" Dazai screamed with giddy as he threw his jacket on quickly. Ranpo's eyes scrunched together lightly as he thought. "You should go quickly, Dazai." He said as Dazai flung open the door.

"Will do!" Dazai yelled, running down the stairs to the cafe. As he opened the doors, he inhaled the lovely aroma of coffee before calling out. "Y/n my dear! I need to tell you something import-"

To Dazai's dismay, Y/n was nowhere to be seen in the cafe. He blinked a few times before walking towards one of the other workers. "Is Y/n here?" He asked with a hand covering his face.

"Ah, I'm sorry Dazai she didn't come in for her shift this morning.." The barista explained. Dazai's head popped up in surprise. "Uh, really?"

"Mhm, She didn't call in either. It's unlike her. She usually at least gives a call if she's gonna be late." The girl explained. Dazai's eyes furrowed as he thought.

"You should go quickly, Dazai."

Dazai's eyes shot open as he stared at the ground for a moment. "No.."

"Uh, Dazai?" The barista asked him. Dazai turned quickly, running out of the cafe in a hurry. His breath grew ragged as he ran quickly. He stopped in front of a familiar apartment complex to breathe. He then quickly ran in, ignoring the calls from a front desk worker. He sprinted and sprinted as he burst into Y/n's bedroom. "Y/n!" He screamed.

His eyes quickly scanned the room, finding it neatly tidied instead of the mess it was when he first visited her here. He then noticed the bathroom door shut tightly, while steam lightly flowed out of it. He ran to the door, trying the handle only to find it locked.

"Y/n!" He yelled, banging on the door. No answer. Dazai backed up quickly, before slamming his shoulder into the door, causing it to fly off its hinges. He looked up from the floor, seeing the sight he wanted to stop.

(Last major TW before we continue.)

Y/n laid in the bathtub fully clothed. The water from the faucet flowed continually, causing the room to fill with steam. A bottle of some unmarked pills laid on the bathroom floor, followed by a knife of which she'd used to make her wrist bleed. The fresh red liquid had been used to fill a small vile next to her.

Dazai quickly stood up, stopping the water before reaching his hands into the hot water. He wrapped his arms around Y/n's figure, lifting her up into his arms before placing her on the floor gently. He quickly ran to the medicine cabinet, grabbing a cotton swab and a roll of bandages.

He ran back to her fast, checking her pulse before sticking the cotton swab deep into her throat repeatedly until a steady stream of fresh puke left her lips. He pulled her into his arms as she came to, putting pressure on her wrist. Y/n's head felt fuzzy as she looked up at him. "Dazai.."

"Ah, you're conscious. Please stay awake, and don't move too much." Dazai whispered lowly. Y/n's head fog cleared as she came to. Realizing she'd been saved.

"No.." She mumbled as hot tears began to form. She suddenly became enraged. "Why you of all people.." "Y/n?"

"I thought you understood.. I just want to disappear from this world. Don't you get it?"

"I want to save you. I want to live with you, even if it's only for a bit before we depart together. There's still so much I don't know about you. Y/n, I-"

"Stop it!!" Y/n screamed, kicking Dazai away. "Don't you dare say it! What can you do? You may save me for a bit, you may make me feel happy for a short while, but then what!? One day it won't work anymore! And I'll want to die again!"

She was shouting.

"That's why this is all too much! Just let me have a clean death alone! You're so selfish for even coming here and spouting that bull shit!"

Without even realizing it, Y/n was shouting.

"I'm tired..! I'm so tired of thinking there's hope! Tired of waiting, finding something close, then watching it disappear! I'll never find what I'm looking for! I'll... I'll never truly be saved! Don't you see Dazai!?"

Dazai's eyes stayed still as he watched the girl scream.

"I'm so tired.. So tired.! Don't let me despair anymore.. Just let me rot."

The silence in the room was sickening. No one dared move.

Until Dazai broke the silence by cackling. Y/n sniffled confused as she stared at him. "I just keep seeing new sides of you Y/n.. You really are sickeningly complicated." He smirked at her as he inched closer.

Dazai's lips suddenly slammed into Y/n's. The girl's eyes opened wide as she stared at him. After a few seconds, dazai pulled away, a small string of saliva trailing behind. He licked his lips lightly before speaking:

"You called me selfish for saving you.." Dazai spoke before leaning close to Y/n's ear. "But I'm an incredibly greedy man my dear.."

Y/n's face flushed more as Dazai grabbed her wrist, wrapping her wound up tightly. "Even if it takes me saving you a thousand times, I'll do it all over again. So we can have the perfect suicide together."

Y/n breathes in shakily as Dazai kisses her hand gently.

"So, let's try this again. Y/n, my dear. I'm in love with you. Will you join me, in living and dying in this life?"

Dazai's words brought more tears into Y/n's eyes as she nodded lightly.

"Yes."

-Fin-