#billie eillish fanfic

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 27

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- ahhhh sound off guys 💔 like and rb for meee! Happy late v-day btw!

Billie’s POV

Ellie sighed, “I’m sorry, you need to talk.” She walked out, closing the door behind Remy.

She tried to turn the doorknob, but apparently, Ellie was standing outside, holding it shut.

I rolled my eyes as she jiggled the knob to no avail, pushing on the door once more. I know how persistent Ellie can be.

“Your girlfriend is… nice.”

I said nothing, just turned slightly, still not facing her completely.

“I didn’t mean to ruin your party. I just thought you wanted to see me.” Sarcasm dripped over her tone as she fidgeted with her jacket zipper.

“Yeah, show up two weeks before I leave for months.” I breathed out a stupid laugh.

“This was a mistake” She crossed her arms.

“Yeah, sorry you had to make such an effort to come say goodbye.” I scoffed, sarcastically.

“Why do you hate me so fucking much?” She took a step closer.

I looked her in the eyes for the first time in months. My stomach dropped. I became captivated by her presence. Her lips were formed into a perfect pout. She looked like she’d been crying. Her nose rosy and her cheeks flushed were a dead giveaway.

“You think I hate you?” I shook my head, “I loved you! And you forgot all about me. You made me feel like I was nothing!” I pointed my finger at her, the words pouring out of my mouth with no filter.

“Billie, you have to know by now that that is not true.” She waved her hand in denial, her eyes wide.

I shook my head, at war with myself. I wanted to cuss her out, run to her and hug her, and cry all at once.

When I walked into my kitchen and laid eyes on her for the first time since her accident, since our fight, I froze. I felt like I was going to shatter into a million pieces, and then I was overcome by anger. Every feeling I had suppressed for the last couple months resurfaced and I just wanted to melt into a puddle.

And now, here I was, looking in her eyes. Her chocolate brown hair was longer than before, almost down to her waist. She usually couldn’t stand when her hair passed her shoulder blades. She looked unreal and I couldn’t believe she was here.

“I don’t know how else to say it to you. I don’t know how to convince you. I tried my best every single time.” Her voice was shaky, but she stood her ground.

I broke our eye contact. Her voice tore a hole in my chest. I know if I look at her any longer, I would burst into tears.

My cheeks were hot and my throat burned from holding back sobs. I wanted to tell her to leave, because if she didn’t, I’d forgive her and continue to live everyday wishing she was mine. I had to move on.

“I’m sorry, okay! I’m sorry that I left you hanging so many times. I’m sorry that I kept making promises that I couldn’t keep! I was trying to balance everything and everyone at once, and I failed! I fucked up!” She shouted.

“No, you fucked your way up to the top at work. You failed me!”

“It’s not true! Stop saying that. You know me better than that. Don’t you hear the way you’re talking to me? It’s me, I’m not some random bitch you can just insult whenever you want!”

“You’re different now!”

“Billie, how am I different!”

“Your clothes! You want to suck up to your boss-“

“I wear dresses and skirts all the time! You’ve never had a problem with that before!”

“It’s not that! It’s the reason you’re wearing them! You think it’s going to get you ahead it’s fucked up! Just like Rachel!”

“Stop talking about my clothes! God, I don’t understand why that matters to you so much!” She was so flustered, I could hear the gears in her head moving and the steam coming out of her ears. Maybe this is the reaction I wanted. Maybe I just wanted to make her hate me so it’d be easier to watch her leave. So it’d be easier for her to leave me be. To assure she didn’t miss me.

I sit down on the accent chair, putting my head in my hands. “Just forget it.” I sighed, my head throbbing already. “You’re not even hearing me.”

“No I am, Billie, you’re not hearing yourself.” She walked over; standing closer to me, her arms still crossed. I could smell her perfume. It made me miss her more.

It made me think of how she made my bed smell when she slept over. How her scent lingered on my pillows, and the next night I’d dream she was still tangled in my sheets. I should’ve cherished all the mornings I spent waiting for her to wake up, tracing the silhouette of her body with my eyes, watching her lips move as she dreamed.

“I just don’t want to do this anymore. I didn’t ask for this.” I breathed out a long breath.

“Well I’m here now, I came all the way up here to see you, because I’ve missed the fuck out of you. So look at me!“ She stood in front of me.

I ignored her.

“Billie, look at me!” She squatted in front of me, putting a hand on my knee, hoping I’d give in.

“If you missed me, why didn’t you come see me the entire time I was in LA, huh? Why come out literally right before I leave the country again. Is it less of a commitment this way?” I snapped back.

“No, I was afraid! And hurt! And you have no idea what I’ve gone through since the accident!” She let out an aggressive sigh.

“What? Joe had you run all the way to Burbank to get him coffee?” I rolled my eyes.

She stood back up, “Yeah, Billie. That’s great. Thank you. My life is so easy compared to yours because I don’t tour around the world all year. You know, this is the exact bullshit that made me so afraid to say no to you.”

“No, actually it’s because you’re a coward, who doesn’t say no to anyone.”

“Right, I’m sure you loved that while you could, didn’t you?”

“No, dude, I didn’t want you to say yes to me all the time. I wanted you to be there when you said you’d be there! And I wanted you to keep your word! And make time for me once in a while! Is that so much to ask for?” I lifted my head from my hands, standing up again.

She took a step back, making me realize how loud I was being. I took another deep breath, rubbing my face.

“I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry, I never meant to make you feel like this. You have to know that. I don’t care if we never speak to each other again, I need you to know that I have always loved and cared about you. I tried my hardest to make everyone happy. I know I fucked up. Please, know that!”

“Please, just go. I don’t want to do this.”

“Did you even hear what I said?”

“Yes. I heard you. Now go.”

“You pushing me away won’t fix anything.” She looked at me, demanding I meet her gaze.

“You should’ve just stayed at home working.” I said anything at this point to make her leave. She was right, I was pushing her away.

She looked hurt, and rejected. The all too familiar emotions she made me feel. She opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped herself. I wanted to apologize but my pride got the best of me.

“I needed you too and I never asked you to stop what you’re doing for me.” She finally spoke, her eyes glossy. “Not once.”

I knew she was right. The difference is, had she asked me to, I would’ve done anything in my power to be at her side. That’s when it dawned on me that I had power. The power that she didn’t have in her life.

“I love you, Billie. More than you know. Have a good trip.” She walked over to me.

I watched her every move as she barely extended her arms, attempting to give me a hug. I wanted to, I did. But, I couldn’t. All of the progress I made with Ellie, and all of the hard work I did trying to forget would be pointless if I gave into her embrace. I knew if I touched her, I’d fall apart in her arms, letting go of every grudge I held. All of the weight would come off my shoulders in a matter of seconds.

In a perfect world I would give in, let her back into my heart, and let her hurt me over, and over again, as many times as she’d like. I would never let her go again, even if it killed me.

This reality is far from the perfect one I wish we lived in.

She stood in front of me, giving me the most vulnerable look, her eyes begging me to let her hug me goodbye. She dropped her arms, hanging them limp in front of her.

I bit the inside of my lip nervously, looking down, and walked right past her, leaving the room.

A surprised Ellie, who had left her post, was holding her ear against the wall, listening in on us. She stood up straight, fixing her dress and giving me a look.

I walked past her too, heading upstairs. She went into the room Remy was still in, probably to apologize for me.

I swung my bedroom door open and closed it, not caring if any of the guests noticed. They were all entertained by loud music and conversations anyway. I sat on my bed, rubbing the horror off my face. It felt like an out of body experience seeing Remy here in my house. I leaned back, throwing my back on the mattress, closing my eyes in hopes today would go away.

“Come here.” Ellie brushed the hair off my face. I hadn’t even heard her come in.

I moved away from her, getting up and stomping to the bathroom. “This is all your fault.”

“My fault?” Ellie sat on the bed, following me with her eyes.

“I can’t believe you told her to come.” I began to cry, leaning my arms over the bathroom vanity.

She floated over, rubbing my back, leaning her face into mine. “I just wanted you guys to talk, I thought you’d talk and work things out! I didn’t even think you’d be upset she was here…”

I completely gave up, my head already exhausted from the events. I didn’t have it in me to fight her too. I melted into her soft skin, burying my face in her neck and crying silently. The strong feeling of wishing I were in Remy’s arms instead emerged, making me nauseous and weak.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted you to be happy. I know how much you miss her.” She swayed us back and forth, rubbing my back in circles. I know she meant well. She didn’t know any better.

I couldn’t even put my feelings into words. How could I?

What could I say?

This is so hard on me because the love of my life is here and I can’t tell her how much I love her, because if I can’t have all of her I don’t want her at all.

I just cried and cried into the sweetest, purest arms. The arms that did nothing but pick up my shattered pieces. Because, I can’t have my cake and eat it too. There is no world where Ellie and Remy could exist at the same time.

She pulled away, grabbing my face in her hands. “I won’t meddle anymore, I’m sorry. I thought I was doing a good thing.” She wiped my tears, panic on her face. “I didn’t meant to ruin anything.”

“I know you didn’t, I did.” I mumbled.

She furrowed her brows, confused, trying to read my mind. Before she could, I lifted her up by her waist, sitting her on the bathroom counter and standing between her legs.

“I’m so sorry, it was a stupid idea.�� Her voice small, ashamed even. She wrapped her arms around my neck, wiping away stray tears that remained on my cheeks.

I kissed her, not wanting to keep discussing it. I didn’t want to think about the fact that I need to start all over and push down every sentiment.

She kisses back, not expecting the intensity of which I met her with. My hands pressed on her hips, pulling her closer to me.

She pulls away, looking in my eyes and noticing more tears coming down, involuntarily. “Hey.” She stopped me. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, leaning in and kissing the soft, warm skin on her jawline, trailing down to her neck, smelling a fresh, familiar scent.

“I think… we should really get back downstairs. Our friends-“

“You smell… different. What is that?” I asked, between breaths, pushing her hair back as I kissed down to her collarbone.

“Oh, I used that shampoo on the top shelf today, in your shower. I ran out of mine.” She smiled softly.

“I love it.” I groaned in her ear, realizing it was Remy’s shampoo. It smelled so good on her. Images of her face, her smile, her mouth telling me off earlier. It felt so wrong to think of her when I’m kissing El, but I couldn’t stop.

I skimmed her thighs with my hands, sliding my fingertips between her thighs, under her silky red dress. I brought my lips back to hers, granting her tongue entrance, wanting her more and more by the second. I could tell she wanted me too.

She moaned into my mouth as I entered her, her thighs tightening on my hand. I could feel her tightening around my fingers too. I grabbed onto her with my other hand, placing it on the small of her back to keep her from sliding back, wanting her to feel every bit of this.

She bit my shoulder, her thin dress straps sliding down her's, highlighting that collarbone I love sucking on so much. The outline of her breasts made made me want to rip off her clothes.

She threw her neck back, unable to keep quiet as I pushed her to her cliff’s edge. I cupped my hand over her mouth, attempting to muffle her loud breathy moans.

When I finished her, she looked at me, out of breath. Her eyes were hazy, gasping for air profusely. I lifted her up and wrapped her legs around my waist, carrying her satisfied body and throwing her on my bed. I shut and locked the door, walking back to her body.

I just wanted to be in control of something in my life, as long as she’d let me.

[pr3ttylittleslutt]

The amount of absolutely insane and degrading things I would do if she asked me too

[jinxed-starry-pages]

wsg beanie bob :D

Not much just listening to Billie Eillish heheheh and reading arcane fanfics

Hbuuuuu kurukuu

[persimmon-prince]

“okay crack theory time: people keep comparing Rogue to the Doctor's past lovers, like River, the Master, Jack, Astrid (RTD even liked a comment saying Rogue is Master-coded, so possibly intentional?) but through the lens of this season being a TV show/story that Ruby is somehow crafting, what if Rogue is literally an amalgamation of all the Doctor's past lovers? The episode makes numerous references to fandom culture and there's a lot of references to modern popular things that a teenage girl like Ruby would be into (the band playing Billie Eillish and Lady Gaga, the excessive Bridgerton references, the ballroom dance scene stolen directly from Pride & Prejudice 2005) Hmmm it's almost like a slash fanfic written by a doctor who fan.... strange…”

—My friend Wyatt who doesn’t have a tumblr

[the-moon-and-stars-4ever]

Hi! If you're doing the Marauders game, then if it's okay, could you guess me?

I don't talk a lot, only with the people I'm comfortable with

I struggle with self destructive tendencies

I play piano and violin and marimbas

I love writing fanfics, but when I write poetry apparently I should start writing more?

I love Chase Atlantic, Billie Eillish, Stray Kids, Enhypen and Taylor Swift.

I'm happier around people, when I'm alone I drown in my thoughts and they become a lot to handle.

Hope this is okay!<3

barty crouch!! <3

[blakeivy80]

I used to float

Now I just fall down,

I used to know,

But I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just something you paid for

What was I made for?

'Cause I, I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

What I was made for - Billie Eillish

@threshergm

(thanks again for the gifs ;)

And inspired by the fanfic by @indigograceauthor

[my-little-universes]

introduction!

1-15-2025

hi!!! my names my-little-universes but you can call me gabi. idk how to do this but imma wing it. okay here we go.

main fandoms!

the maze runner (down badd)

marvel (also down bad)

harry potter (also down bad pt.2)

the hunger games

stranger things

avatar (blue people)

stray kids

other random shit!

age - why tf you wanna know...???

oh im a girl. and very bi.

music - billie eillish (!!), kendrick lamar, adrianne lenker, conan gray, chappel roan, megan thee stallion, mj, stray kids, and more.

i curse a lot. im trying to get better, swear. (im not.)

lovee to read. and write. currently in the middle of writing a tmr fanfic!

into politics a little.

hate the living shit out of school.

my online name is gabi cuz that's what my spanish teacher used to call me when she couldn't pronounce my real name 😭

not a fan of math.

my ao3. dont expect regular updates. i edit my shit wayy too much.

okay idk what else to add. bye!

[kamastar39]

Kamastar39 Spooktober 2024 Masterlist

Hey guys so I’m posting this a bit late (on the 11th lol) but I wanted to post this. I’m challenging myself to post a drawing daily for Spooktober and beat my longest streak of 2 weeks a few years ago (on a different acc). I’m going to do drawings/sketches daily and then a few scattered fanfics so I’ll update this over the month.

Warning: 🌹 = NSFW (minors DNI)

Super Masterlist

Kofi

Fanfics

1. Ex husband gojo 🌹

2. Five Breaths 🌹

Fanarts

1. Flower vampire

2. Circe

3. Pearl fairy

4. Hermes

5. Medusa

6. A talented woman

7. Shapeshifter

8. Self portrait in my style

9. Another shapeshifter

10. A noblewoman from the summer court

11. Laios Touden

12. scream tattoo

13. Eremika x scream

14. Bella Hadid

15. Matchablossom 🍵 🌸

16. Human Kuromi

17. Alien beauty (Amren)

18. Rihanna sketch

19. Billie eillish

20. Twin flames

21. La llorona

22. Avatar aang

23. Satosugu

24. Pines twins

25. The Six Eyes

26. Wandavision

27. Satosugu colored

28. Geto sketches

29. Kirara in my style

30.

31.

My plight

[nouvxllev]

i literally love you, thank you so much for tagging me!!!! and might as well answer these while im writing a story (also while balancing a fuck ton of deadlines)

music - honestly, completely random. one day its classical music, another its 80s-00s rock or rnb, another its rap, another its rnb, and on another day its love songs. it just depends the mood, really, but i do find myself listening to 70s-90s music and rnb alot. they just get my spirits up like no other. favs are rini, daniel caesar, gemini, and alan vuong along many others. ofc, i still like taylor swift, sabrina carpenter, olivia rodrigo, but i dont really listen to them at all that much rn (but their songs still goes hard)

life-style - wouldnt say complete shit, but wouldnt say complete happiness either. i cook for myself, work for myself, and live for myself with the addition of my friends and family. my life revolves completely around one routine being school (a fuck ton, even at home), part time, work out, study, and write when i can (which is, rn, literally i have no time for it, sadly). so, for me, its pretty hard to balance all those things together especially when i have other hobbies that i tend to take care of. at weekends, i really try my best to not focus on my academics so ill start writing again, playing guitar, painting, maybe try again at skateboarding (i literally dont know shit about biking, why the fuck am i skateboarding) then just repeat until monday hits. but even so, i wouldn't trade my life to get a slightly better one. im already accustomed to mine, and ill just strive to get a better lifestyle everyday.

writing - tbh i never saw myself actually writing and posting it for hundreds of people to see, it was just a 'fuck it, we ball' situation. my love for books and literally anything thats labeled literature even if its just fanfiction goes beyond limits but i never thought i would be the one thats going to be behind those words. i started writing on wattpad then to ao3 when i realized that i could make writing a hobby even if i suck ass at it, believe it or not, but those were short lived since my motivation eventually dried out. then one day i started going to tumblr more often to read fanfics about j.o and other actors i take interest in and then my fingers suddenly went from scrolling then to actually writing one myself. im not good at writing at all, i try to to be better everyday but i always fall short in my eyes. so imagine my surprise when i posted my first story on here and it got some pretty good feedback that eventually led me to here. i never even thought about people seeing it or even my account growing, so thank you for the people who decided that my stories were worth their mind and, most especially, their time. i write for all of them.

me - actually, i dont know. took the 16personalities quiz and it says that im an infp. im a people pleaser by heart and a idgaf person by mind (i listen to my heart more, if you couldnt tell) im a hopeless romantic with a penchant of falling inlove as if i could get someone to like me back, cries alot at the smallest things especially when someone im near with is crying, reaching for my career even if it means i would have to go through dantes inferno to even get the slightest bit of a perfect score. my family describes me as someone who they shouldnt talk in the early asscrack in the morning and whenever its a stressful week. it just equals to receiving the nastiest silent treatment. people tell me i look like jenna ortega and ariana greenblatt or that they remind me of billie eillish and finn wolfhard. its a weird mix up between the four of them. theres alot going on with me, but im a cat lover!! thats literally it.

thank you sm for tagging me bae, love ya!!

+ i dont really have any friends on tumblr 🥲 ill just leave it up to the rest

get to know you? music, lifestyle, writing, etc. just stuff that makes you, you

and maybe tag some people to start a chain? totally optional!

:D sure! thank you for the ask 🫶🏻

music: I love synths like a heathen… I write, primarily, so the lyrics matter a lot to me, but I used to play a couple instruments so I love listening to all parts of a song. hyper pop, pop rock, indie pop, indie rock? I think those are the genre names. my top songs rn are sweet dreams by eurythmics, the other side of paradise by glass animals, and sober by big bang

lifestyle: cathemeral omnivore…? my life currently revolves around school, my job, and other career responsibilities ^^

writing: sporadic (as you can tell rip), I edit in my head and as I write, I’ve always loved analyzing text and really enjoy it!

me: umm I’m having a cold brew with silk oat milk and vanilla torani rn, I have a cat I love her, I get easily overstimulated when it comes to stuff touching me but I’ll watch two youtube videos at the same time, I love food I live to eat, I love the nyt connections

tags: @woewriting @melrodrigo @mindyswhore @marvelfilth @jazzyoranges @sytoran @jjsmaybank20 @alkivm @crazyoffher I’m almost positive I missed something but PLEASE PARTICIPATE if you want <3

[navstuffs]

every time i listen to 'everything i wanted' by billie eillish i just want to write more and more about it. it is such perfect song and it has so many ways to be interpreted and written

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 18

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- Uh Ohh I hope you enjoy the chapter! See you next Thursday! Plz like and rb if you’re hooked!🤍

Billie’s POV

My wet hair sat on my shoulders, making my shirt moist. I brushed my teeth after a hot shower in the tiny tourbus bathroom, and put myself on vocal rest for the rest of the night so my voice can be in shape for the next concert.

The day was long and everything irritated me. During my downtime, all I could think about was the way I pushed Remy on the floor, and the harsh exchanges that made us both cry. It hurt to think at all. It hurt that my brain couldn’t stop replaying the events over and over. I spit foamy toothpaste into the sink, watching it go down the drain, on autopilot.

“Okay, okay, we’ll be right there, we’re not too far, thank you.” My mom’s voice gradually became louder as she made her way through the tour bus to me. She poked her head into the bathroom with her phone pressed up against her chest. She was visibly shaken, her face blanched, and her expression downcast.

“Honey, it’s Remy, she was in a car accident today.”

When the words left her mouth, it took me a few seconds to fully comprehend. “Oh my god. Is she okay?” Stunned, I stepped forward, wanting out of the now suffocating bathroom, as its walls began to cave in on me.

“She’s in intensive care right now. They said it was pretty bad. She had to be life flighted off the highway, and she was in critical condition for a-“

My hands trembled as I pushed through the narrow walkway, stumbling toward the driver to tell him to turn around, despite having no idea where she was yet.

“Honey, we’re already taking the nearest exit so we can turn around, okay?” She grabbed my shoulder, noticing my pale complexion becoming paler, if that was even possible. “It’s okay, she’s going to be okay.” She assured me.

“Did they say that?” I narrowed in on her.

“No, baby, but they said she’s in surgery, and if all goes well, you’ll be able to see her when she’s in recovery, okay?” She rubbed knots out of my neck as I stretched away from her, overwhelmed and not wanting to be touched at the moment.

Surgery? I wondered what injuries she had sustained that meant she had to undergo surgery. I wondered how the accident happened in the first place, if someone witnessed it and called the ambulance or if she called herself, scared, waiting for someone to rescue her.

My tunnel vision began to dwindle, as I sat down on the seat, feeling nauseous. My dad was seated as copilot, guiding the driver on the fastest route to the hospital, but I didn’t notice it until later, when mom brought me some water.

“This is all my fault. If I hadn’t-“

“Don’t blame yourself, sweetheart, these things happen. They’re accidents.”

“She was supposed to be here. With us. And I ran her off.” I leaned my elbow on my knees, putting the glass of water that I gulped down.

“It could’ve happened to us, it could’ve happened to anybody, anywhere, anytime.” She put a hand on my back, gliding it up and down to confort me.

“We’re on the way. Try to relax.” Dad said, checking his gps.

“They’ll call if anything else happens. We’ll be there before she comes out of surgery, and then you’ll get to see her, because everything is going to be okay.” She reassured me.

I was so thankful my parents tagged along this week. I would be a mess right now without my mom. I thanked the gods I didn’t have to drive there myself because I’d be shaking so much, we’d probably get in an accident ourselves.

As soon as we arrived, we rushed into the ER. They guided us toward the inner hospital, where we were told to sit in an empty waiting area near the OR. An older, sweet nurse gave us all water and snacks. We politely nodded, my parents thanking her for being so kind. I sat, my head hanging low as I leaned my elbows on my knees.

It was a small, older hospital on the outskirts of Kettleman City, California. The waiting room was dated. The mint green, linoleum flooring led into the main hall, with two large doors separating the check-in area from the different patient care rooms. The receptionist sat at an antique, rounded, wooden counter, adorned with carved detailing. It was probably the original desk they built in when the hospital opened. The faint antiseptic smell made me queasy.

A tall, lanky man wearing scrubs and a face mask walked up to us, interrupting my thoughts. I stood up, scanning his demeanor, waiting for him to tell us anything.

“Ms. O’Connell?” He looked between my mom and I.

“Yes.” We both said, simultaneously.

He nodded, “The patient,” he looked at his chart, “Remy Lovelace, is still in surgery. Everything is going very well so far.”

“How bad is it?” I put a hand over my heart, hoping to steady its beating.

He pulled down his surgical mask, “We’re operating on her arm right now. She has a broken wrist, and a broken radius, which is her forearm, probably from instinctively bracing for impact. She’ll need a couple plates and screws to stabilize the bones so they heal properly. Other than that, she has a severe concussion and whiplash, which we will continue to monitor for the next few days.”

I sighed, relieved it wasn’t as detrimental as I thought I’d be. I was imagining spinal damage, having to break it to her that she wouldn’t walk again, or even brain damage.

“They told us she was life flighted, so we imagined worse!” My mom said, rubbing my shoulders and letting a big sigh of relief out herself.

“When car accidents create so much traffic that the ambulance can’t get through, they tend to life flight people. Especially if the patient is unconscious, which she was.” He nodded. “But don’t worry, she will be okay, we just need to keep an eye on that concussion.

I turned to hug my dad, who was prepared to catch me in his arms. I could finally breathe again. The doctor lets us know that it would be a little under an hour before they finish, and we could be with her in the recovery room, once they get her settled.

“Do you know how it happened? Did police or anyone give witness statements?” My mom asked.

“I’m not sure, but I can point you in the direction of someone who can.” He pointed toward the front desk, guiding her out through the double doors we came through.

A while after, my mom came back with the horrible details of the crash.

Her phone was in the back seat, locked, so it was unknown if she was using it or not. She swerved into a car on her right, causing her to hit the cement wall on her left, between the opposite side of the highway. She spun out, then, the driver’s side was hit by yet another car, totaling it and bending it into almost a U shape. Both windows on the driver’s side shattered into the inside, and the front door was so altered, that it jammed and they had to break open the opposite door to pull her out. All the other drivers involved were thankfully okay, and walked away with only bruises and probably severe body aches.

While we waited our turn to be able to see her, I figured I should probably call her parents. Despite my mom being Remy’s emergency contact, they’d want to know what happened. I stood up, looking through my contact for their numbers.

Her mom didn’t answer right away. I figured she wouldn’t answer an unknown number and I had changed mine multiple times. Her dad was next, and he answered after a few rings.

“Mr. Lovelace? Uh, This is Billie, Remy’s best friend.”

“Oh, Billie- Billie, it’s been so long. How are you? How are your parents?” He sounded surprised to receive a call from me. He hadn’t seen me in maybe two or three years, around his divorce from Remy’s mom. I’d driven Remy to her grandmother’s house, where he was now staying at, multiple times, but never got out of the car. They weren’t as close as they once were.

“I’m ok. Um, listen, I wanted to let you know Remy’s been in a car accident, about 3 ish hours from you guys. We’re here with her now, but I just wanted to let you know, in case… You know, you want to come too?”

“Oh God. That’s… Wow, is she okay?”

“Yeah she’s going to be okay, she broke some bones, but she’s gonna be fine. I just-“

“I’m glad, she’s very lucky to have you, you’ve always been such a good friend to her.” He said, confusing me a bit. Did he think he needed an invitation, or?

“Sir, I was asking if you could come see her. She’s going to be here overnight, and-“

“Billie…” he cut me off. “Remy and I haven’t spoken or seen each other in a very long time.”

I let the line sit silently for a moment. You could hear static as I processed what he said.

“I- I don’t think you understand.” I stammered. My parents would drop everything to be with me in the hospital, even if it was for a sprained ankle or a minor cold.

“She’s always handled it herself. She’s independent, she holds her own. She’s always been like her mother.”

I cringed at the thought. They were nothing alike. Not in my eyes.

“Okay.” Is all I could say.

“Thank you for calling. I’ll be praying for her. Take care of yourself, kid.” He said, sadness in his tone before hanging up.

That was pointless.

I called her mother next, hoping she’d answer this time.

“Hello?” She sounded bothered.

“Irene. This is Billie, remember me?” I swallowed, hoping she wouldn’t hang up on me.

The woman hated me. I knew she hated me since I was 11, when I hung out in her daughter’s bedroom, in the way she watched me, the way she didn’t like my clothes, or how my parents raised me, or the way I talked. Remy always told me her mother was homophobic. Back then, I didn’t know what that had to do with me. Remy would tell me she didn’t like that I was a tomboy, that I didn’t wear girly clothes, or sit, or eat like a girl. Once I got older, I became more aware of it, becoming a different version of myself at her house. Still, her mom wasn’t buying it, and forbid Rem from closing her bedroom door if I was in it. Sleepovers at my house were off limits, and she checked her text messages often. It was weird. I knew I never felt safe at their house.

Despite this, Remy always tried to look for approval from her mom. Who doesn’t? When she moved out at the age of 18, their relationship became more rocky, but she continued to send her money whenever she could. I guess I didn’t understand that, but then divorce made things more complicated and I didn’t feel I could have an opinion on it. I couldn’t relate.

“I remember.” Her voice was the same as I remembered it. It felt strange talking to her, I hesitated, fearing she wouldn’t care to check on her daughter either.

“Hello?” She said.

“Yes, hi, sorry. Uh, Remy is in the hospital right now. In surgery.” I managed to get the words out.

“Fuck. Why?” She asked.

“She had an accident driving back to LA. She’s okay, by the way, I just wanted you to know.”

“God damn. Seriously? That sounds expensive.”

For fucks sake.

“Can you come see her? I’m sure she’d appreciate having her mom here, you know?” I became frustrated, wanting to send both her parents to hell.

“Of course, What kind of parent do you think I am?” She said, an attitude forming on her end of the line.

I didn’t answer. She didn’t need to know what I thought.

“I’ll text you the hospital we’re at. It’s a couple hours away, but again, she’d really appreciate-“

“Thanks, I’ll make arrangements.” She hung up.

Fucking bitch.

“Excuse me, miss. We’re ready for you guys to come on back if you’d like.” The sweet old nurse from before tapped my shoulder.

I sighed, sliding my phone in my back pocket and following her through a cold, sterile hallway, into her room.

[marvelsswansong]

❣️ tag game ❣️

Tysm @zaypay for tagging me, it's very kind of you!

Relationship status: single af! Never been in a relationship either. Been on handful of dates.

Favourite color: used to be yellow but lately I'm really feeling black

Song(s) stuck in your head: i guess rn it'd be "sports" by Beach Bunny, "happier than ever" and "TV" by Billie Eillish and "chanel" by Frank Ocean

Dream trip: Spain, Italy and Greece i guess. Haven't been able to see much of Europe x oh and a road trip around Australia with @scrumptious-delusion

Last book you read: Queenie Malone's Paradise Hotel by Ruth Hogan, Found it buried it in the back of the closet as it was given to me as a gift while ago but I never got around to it. So far I'm really enjoying it, the narrative structure is super unique and I really relate to the protagonist's strained relationship with her mother.

Last book you enjoyed reading: I really adored The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It was a fascinating read into trauma, the author speaks not just about how trauma affects us mentally but neurologically and biologically, there were many interesting forms of therapy/treatment discussed and in general I learned a lot about my own self (since my ED is a manifestation of my trauma and I am actually receiving trauma therapy in the form of EMDR rn).

Last book you hated reading: can't remember the name but it was some investing book on financial markets. Was tryna read it to impress corporate law recruiters and to buff up my financial markets knowledge but it was so fucking boring. I'm really not a math and business person.

Favourite thing to cook/bake: I made a smoothie bowl this morning and HOLY SHIT IT WAS FANTASTIC I'm gonna make more 🥺❣️But I also make a killer banana bread, everyone I made it for gives me a 10/10.

Favourite craft to do in your free time: I guess writing! I write a lot (not even necessarily fanfic either).

Most niche dislike: people who scream at concerts. Don't get me wrong, shouting along to the lyrics is fine, but when I went to the Lorde concert there was this one bitch who kept on screaming (like she was being murdered) a million times out of nowhere. Like the song could be fucking writer in the dark and she'd still scream 🙄🙄🙄.

Opinion on circus(es): if they involve animals, I'm out. I think it's cruel to train and keep animals like elephants and tigers in cages for our entertainment. If it's like Cirque De Soleil and it's just people than sure, I'm in.

Do you have a sense of direction: in life, broadly speaking, I'd like to think so. I'm a very discplined and motivated person and I think I'm exactly on the path I wanted my career to go. If this is referring to navigation/maps then uh... 50/50.

Tagging: @scrumptious-delusion @haarringtons @lovelybarnes @sapphireplums @natti-ice @lovesandotherwords @beautecus @spideyspeaches (only do it if you want besties, just tagging some of my faves/mutuals/fave mutuals)

[korrinhorizon]

Haha does anyone wants hear one angst idea I have about Ryan x Johnny x Zotz, which is more focused on Zotz and involves a song in a background for extra dramatic effect? That I may or may not put something similar in my fanfic? And the song may be “The 30th by Billie eillish” :D

[c0ffeeat2am]

Hi, I'm Pilu, And tbh I'm new on this app & I wanted to make this sort of presentation, just 4 you to get know me a little bit, Idk if this is a normal thing here in Tumblr but Idc I'm gonna do it anyway 🙃.

Fandoms I'm part of: MCU, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Star Wars, One Direction (+All the boys in solo), Taylor Swift & Billie Eillish.👌

Fav Ships ❤️: Steve x Tasha (MCU), Tony x Pepper (MCU), Jake x Amy (B99), Peeta x Katniss (THG), Kate x Lena (MCU) & Zayn x Liam (1D) PD: I know it's weird to ship real people but idc 😒.

Favorite Icons: Timothée Chalamet, Andrew Garfield, Florence Pugh, Hailee Steinfield & Jennifer Lawrence 😘.

Favorite Films: Call Me By Your Name, Little Woman, The Edge of 17 & TICK...TICK...BOOM. 😏

Hobbies:Acting, Singing & Writting. 🎭🎶

Last film: Incredibles 2 😉

Last song: Something from Taylor Swift Probably🤙

Currently reading: Fanfic 😛

Currently watching: Teen wolf & Glee👀

Currently consuming: A lot of Romanogers/Katelena Incorrect Quotes cus I think they're kinda my safe place right now

Currently craving: Something Fluff & Angst😊

4 songs on repeat: My strange addiction -Billie eillish, Only The Brave-Louis Tomlinson, More Than This-One Direction, Style-Taylor Swift.👍

Sexuality: Bisexual and proud (as you can see on my profile pic. 🤠)

[evenceflux18]

8 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by: @springzero123

Favorite colors? (purple, black, navy blue and mint blue!)

Last song listened to - No time to die my Billie Eilish because I was actually writing my fanfic while I was doing this🤣 (a d I jsut published it shshshsh)

Favorite Musicians - actually....

1. Tchaikovsky - I'm more into classical that's why...

2. Halsey - I don't even know why though..I just like how she delivers her songs it makes me feel pumped up

3. Billie Eillish - YEAH BABY! I mean...I really love her voice! And no, no, not because I like to hear until I would get depress (Goodness no, no...) I just really like the messages of her song and her relationship with her family really made my heart melt..

3. Andrew Webler - I blame the Phantom of the Opera because of it🤣

4. ANY MUSICIANS AS LONG AS IT'S NIGHTCORE

5. IF I'M LISTENING TO NIGHTCORE MALE VERSIONS.. PLUS POINTS!

Last film I watched - I watched Coraline🤣 For references and...other stuffs..that goes in my head..👀

Last show I watched - It's actually from our country titled "It's Showtime" 🤣🤣

Sweet, Spicy or Savory - I like them 3....but I chose SPICY, DEFINITELY

Sparkling water, Tea or Coffee - Coffee is a big no no for me...I GET SO SLEEPY WHEN I DRINK IT.. Tea is better..especially when I drank it with blue turnics, I also drink water🤣🤣

Pets - I HAVE 4 DOGS....AND A WUSS PUSS CAT, AND TWO NINJA TURTLES THAT I NAMED PONG AND THE OTHER IS GONG

Okay I'm done! It's your turn!

I tag: @magentacravat @artemis0122 @prixiieeleey @evbro55 @shishiyos

I don't know who else wahahahaha!🤣

[othercat2]

quarantine q & a

edit to add: tagged by @edenfalling

Are you staying home from work/school?

I am “insufficietly employed” from home, so I have no choice in the matter! I do some writing and I have a Patreon, though I don’t write as much original fic as I would like because of Mental Health Reasons and a chronic spoon shortage.

If you’re staying home, who’s with you? 

I live alone. I would have a emotional support pet but I have the insufficiently employed situation at the moment.

Are you a homebody? 

Yes. See above for reasons. That said I am going slightly stircrazy because I could at least go to the library before the pandemic.

What movies have you watched recently? What shows are you watching? 

I don’t really watch movies, and I mostly don’t watch shows. I *would* be watching crunchy roll anime but my netbook does not have enough oomph  to play them.

Did an event that you were looking forward to get cancelled? 

I have not specifically checked, but a autism event I wanted to go to probably has been cancelled.

What music are you listening to? 

A fan fic introduced me to a group called “No More Kings” in addition I’ve been listening to Billie Eillish, Dessa, Nightwish, Babymetal, Helloween, Seanan McGuire, Homestuck music, Boiled in Lead, U2 and Echo’s Children and so on. For some reason Spotify keeps giving me songs by taylor swift. I don’t like taylor swift that much, but I apparently can’t get rid of her from spotify unless I have a paid account.

What are you reading?

Mostly fanfic. I wandered back into Inuyasha, but haven’t found anything that really grabbed me. Read a bunch of Bleach fanfics, and also Homestuck, of course. I want to read Swordheart and re-read Winter Tide.

What are you doing for self care? 

Avoiding the news and hanging out on @curlicuecal‘s Discord server and a few others, including my Extremely Quiet Server.

Tag someone else! 

Um. @shadowwood  and @imhereformysciencefriends