#the lead is also a trans woman

[befuddled-calico-whump]

🕸️ What’s a whump idea that’s gathering dust at the back of your brain?

Another one that I have basically plotted, but can't seem to actually write is an alternate history, early-1900s crime fic centered on an artist who works for a crime syndicate. It would also be my first attempt at an overt romance, despite whump being at the forefront

[griem]

ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.

#opinion 😱 in tags

[wimpy-imp]

I remember many times when my grandmother would make off hand remarks about how testosterone would make me look like a joke. that it would be funny and unnatural for someone like me to have a beard.

before that i remember my mother outing me to my grandparents without my knowledge or consent. and then having to sit with both of them on different occasions for a year while they tried to tell me i was just a masculine woman. One where they thought it was okay to ask if I'd get pregnant if a potential partner "really really wanted it 🥺" (Which. sidenote. what the actual fuck??)

i remember the day after one of those conversations my mother took me into town for a "suprise" from my grandma. and they tried to make me get my ears pierced. even when i said i didn't want to. the only reason they stopped was because i had an autistic shutdown in public and they were too embarrassed to keep trying to force me into it. That happened 2 years ago. i have very real trauma from that day.

They never cared about my gender nonconformity until i came out.

They still seem to believe that I'd only be a man if i actually secretly hated myself.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[foxpunk]

i think everyone who is reblogging that post about how horrible and creepy and fucked up it is to speculate about someone being possibly trans needs to

1) think about why/when these speculations are being made. context matters. are they harassing or crossing boundaries of anyone specific/an actual concrete person, or simply making comments to themselves, to friends, or in a general open online area.

2) ask yourself if it is actually so bad and harmful to say someone could be trans.

3) ask yourself if these speculations about transness actually uphold gender norms. does being trans upholds gender norms. is a trans woman reinforcing stereotype if she wears makeup, or is a transmasc reinforcing stereotype if they get top surgery. why do trans people, especially trans women, do these things. if these actual actions are okay for trans people to do as their form of gender expression, then is this actually bad to simply speculate about.

4) ask yourself if you've heard this shit before like. does this at all bring to mind how straight people found it offensive to be speculated as gay, and the subsequent gross backlash against gay people helping anyone out of the closet, and the movement of "let bros be bros" gaining more attention/priority than. yknow. simply normalizing people being gay and that not being a bad thing or an insult to think someone may be gay.

5) most importantly: who is making these speculations. is it "people" in general like the post says or is it fellow trans people, who know what it is like to be closeted with no info, no other trans people to talk to, no way to explore themselves safely until someone says something first. and is it trans people or specifically trans women, who are especially vulnerable to these things. are these trans women actually being harmful or do you view trans womens' personal speculations as inherently forceful, creepy, and invasive.

6) ask yourself why that may be.

7) be honest.

[catominor]

also i think lfc's ultimate problem in life is that he should have been born a woman. tbh

[kiun]

sometimes i think i might actually be a trans guy after all lol

[biracy]

I recognize that this isn't necessarily a race in which I have a horse so I apologize in advance for like daring to open my mouth but I find this whole. God for lack of a better term "femboy discourse" to basically be another rerun of "no version of trans identity that isn't exactly like mine is bad actually." Like okay I realize that your specific gender identity "has nothing to do with men" and it would be extremely improper and offensive for someone to group you in with "cis femboys" on that account, but you cannot just apply that across the board. Look at how nonbinary this website is. That's never going to be a uniform fit

[avatarthelastairgender]

very cool that the person who bullied one of my transfem mutuals off this website for "invasively misgendering someone" (aka making a small personal post that was never intended to get notes, wondering if someone might have been trans) isn't even a trans woman and as far as i can find doesn't even seem to be trans at all?????? really cool verbal sleight of hand to cast a trans woman as transphobic and your own vicious harassment of said trans woman as a critique of transphobia

[spiderfreedom]

Feel that women should have the right to housing where they do not run the risk of being impregnated.

Obvious implications for prisons. Like male prison guards simply can’t be trusted. Will there be enough female prison guards? I don’t know.

But we need to start by talking about how it is unacceptable that for so many women, having housing involves a risk of being impregnated.

On the street? No protection from men. Homeless women on the street have extremely high rape rates.

Homeless shelters? Often have men in them (and strangely lax rules about cross ex interaction?). Not all places have women’s shelters.

Many women can’t afford housing without living with someone… usually a male romantic partner… and considering the well known problems of male/female sexual relations, too many women run the risk of being impregnated against their desire (either by misusing birth control, forgetting it, or a partner deceiving them into being ejaculated into).

Prisons involve male guards, and many prisons make no provision for trans women with intact penises and testicles to be kept separate from female prisoners. We’ve already had pregnancies happen in prison from mtf/f sexual relations.

Our “childbearing years” should be safe and we should be able to have safe housing without running the risk of pregnancy. The emergency housing, lack of housing, and prisoner housing are not acceptable, either.

[freytful]

sandman is really good at doing queer rep thats surprisingly good until the last two pages where its just. OH THAT SUCKS HUH

[blood-ology]

Wow, what the actual hell.

Just watched my (white passing asf, dirty blonde, blue eyed) younger brother go from hating it when kids at school would call him Mexican because he’s half Guatemalan -> to enjoying the “is it because I’m *insert non-white race*?” jokes that his cousins and friends would say -> to jokingly calling his friends racist about little things and enjoying (and repeating) jokes his jewish friend would say about gas chambers and constantly cracking 9/11 jokes because his friends have been doing it -> to making edgy jokes about 9/11 and race and nazis and jewish people being inferior and watching lowkey questionable joke clips from South Park and SNL -> FUCKING DOING THE NAZI SALUTE AND LAUGHING ??? I hate it here man. If it was a one-off, okay whatever but it was very much not, and it was paired with multiple other nazi jokes after

I had a terrible feeling he was sliding down the alt right pipeline via edgy comedy, and ngl some of the south park clips seriously had me thinking I should keep an eye on that and intervene if it starts getting worse, but my god did it escalate fast. I don’t think he genuinely hates anyone yet or actually believes any of that shit and the whole thing is that he thinks it’s all a big funny joke, but it still just concerns the fuck out of me.

I literally started making half jokes that I’m worried about my status/safety in the house because he’s literally making nazi salutes (I’m visibly half black) to try to give some perspective and maybe bring him back to earth a bit but I can already tell I’m gonna need to be more direct very soon.

[yurigirldick]

I don't exactly agree on that either. I've usually seen transmasc being used by trans people often to define being a masculine ftm/ftx person and transfem vice versa, but specifically referring to how they present. I don't consider myself transmasc because I'm not masc. My partner doesn't consider herself transfem even though she's transgender and feminine. These labels are also not as specific as some think they are and I've always found boxing people into their definitions unhelpful anyway. I've met plenty of trans people who consider themselves trans men when people think they shouldn't "by definition", or are drag queens and also trans women, or anything of that sort. I think the flexibility of labels is beautiful

Hello punkitt! No need to respond to this if your tired of these types of questions but I wanted to ask a transfem person if it would be offensive to identify as transfem while being afab? My gender fluidity and transgender interconnect in a way where when I’m feeling more fem I identify very strongly with the label transfeminie.

My opinion is that you can do whatever makes you feel good forever tbh!

[peacheenie]

now going to bed but i played a bunch of l4d2 after getting the rare achievement and its got me thinking abt them all again...

ive been in the fandom lurking forever and so my like. opinions/hcs on them all have changed over time ofc but the relationship between rochelle and nick both as being trans and being each others only one in the know about it is what is chewing at my brain the most rn.

the two of them already have such a fun dynamic... what if i sprinkled genderisms on them. during the zombie appocalypse. as a treat.

[readymades2002]

wasn't the red strings club made entirely by a queer team?

the last time i talked about that game was in 2019 so i admit i'm not sure why you're asking now?

[missionel]

i need the world to know about erah hare. but that means i actually need to draw her.... i should draw her brother too