#the last... 3 or 4 episodes back to back were fucking DOOZIES

[muldxr]

ER season 8 is wrecking me and i have 7 episodes left. friends, i don't think i can get through this unscathed

[kayte-overmoon]

"Slow Cherry" Chapter 4

(cross-posted on AO3)

Tags: Mild Depressive Episode, Drinking (everyone is of age; no alcohol abuse), drunk texting, accidental face reveal

Snippet: A soft laugh drifted over the line. “Are you still drunk, Dream?”

He hummed. “Maybe a little.”

“You’re a mess, Dream.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks for putting up with me.”

“Anytime, love.”

Read Chapter 1 Here

Read Chapter 2 Here

Read Chapter 3 Here

No sexual content in this chapter.

Dream spent the next few weeks losing himself in his schoolwork.

Every time he closed his eyes, he thought of George, heard his voice, saw his smile. It was wreaking havoc on his attention span. His feelings toward the older man were confusing to say the least. It was easier to hyperfixate on school than to try and sort out why he felt this way about a man he’d never even met face-to-face.

Knowing they were only a few short weeks away from living not only in the same country, but the same city made it very, very hard to think about anything else.

Luckily, he had a hardcore coding assignment coming up, so he locked himself in his bedroom with the lights off and drowned himself in Python.

Sapnap noticed something was off and made sure to text Dream whenever he got food (conveniently always with a little more than one person could eat alone). On the rare occasions Dream emerged from his cave, Sapnap looked at him with concern written in every corner of his face, but he didn’t ask what was wrong. He just pushed a bottle of water or a granola bar across the counter to him and told him he looked like shit.

Dream was sure he was right. It was winter, so he hadn’t properly been in the sun in months—for a Florida boy, that was too long. He’d skipped a few showers, and the only time he’d eaten was when Sapnap made sure he did. He shuffled into the bathroom to scrutinize himself under the fluorescents. He squinted in the bright light, so used to the darkness of his room. His hair was a mess, several days overdue for a wash and unbrushed for longer than Dream could remember. He also needed to shave, not liking the scratchy growth around his jaw. There were dark circles around his blood-shot eyes and his skin was paler than it had been in years. He scoffed at himself before stripping and jumping in the shower.

The hot water burned his skin, but it was a religious experience. He hadn’t realized how far he’d pushed himself and how deep he’d let himself fall until it was over. His last final was the next morning, so he was almost done. Thank God.

As it usually did when he had a free moment, his mind strayed to George.

They had still been snapping back and forth, which soothed some of the ache. But it felt like he was looking down the barrel of addiction: he knew that taking one more hit, one more drink, would land him far beyond his limit, pushing him past the fabled Point of No Return. He considered ghosting George, but just thinking about that made his stomach turn. Sex workers got enough shit as it was without their clients pushing boundaries, trying to make something real out of their arrangements, or dropping them outright without warning.

Dream was so fucking pathetic.

He emerged from his shower scrubbed raw, physically and emotionally. He didn’t feel great in his head still, but at least he didn’t stink. He brushed his teeth to cover all his hygienic basics, put on a clean pair of pajamas, and went to bed.

And just like that his semester was over. He did well on his final—not as well as he’d hoped, considering how much time he’d spent studying, but well enough to stay on track to graduation.

He emerged from his final to find a snap from George waiting for him on his phone.

The older man was sitting on his bed, throwing a peace sign to the camera with a huge, cheesy grin. There were boxes stacked around the bed, the only thing left in the room being his bed.

Good luck on your final! Getting ready to put my stuff in the shipping container. Only a few more days.

Despite himself, Dream smiled at the message.

Dream and Sapnap celebrated the end of the semester that night in the only way college kids knew how: by buying as much beer as they could afford and inviting over as many people as they could fit into their apartment. Someone connected their phone to the sound system in the living room, blasting hip hop music over the subwoofer. Dream knew they were going to get a noise complaint from their neighbors, but he was too excited—and drunk—to care.

He got a few drinks in him and danced when he was pulled from the couch. Faces blurred before him, but he knew almost everybody there, so he didn’t mind whenever someone pressed up against him. Someone else pressed another beer into his hands. He was sweating, the heat in the apartment still fighting the December cold even with a few dozen people packed into the cramped space. His jacket came off at some point, so he was only in his beer-stained t-shirt and jeans.

He could happily say he had nothing on his mind. He was just happy, done with school for the next month and surrounded by his favorite people in the world.

But not his favorite person in the world.

No, that person wasn’t here.

He stumbled to the bathroom at one point to piss, wobbling a little and struggling to aim. He washed his hands and stared at himself in the mirror. He looked much different than he had the previous night: he was flushed from the alcohol and dancing, for one, but he also felt lighter. Maybe it was the beer talking, but he felt good. He always liked life better when he wasn’t in school. And that message from George made him so, so happy.

Only a few more days.

George.

Just thinking about him made Dream smile.

He pulled out his phone just to look at the photo, which he’d screenshotted. They’d agreed they could save anything they sent each other except for nudes, which they had to get permission to keep. But innocent little messages like that one were free game. Dream was thankful for that, since it let him get a fix whenever he needed it. He found himself pulling out his phone to look at pictures of his camboy whenever he had a free moment to twiddle his thumbs.

He wrote a message to George, not really paying attention to what he said. Mainly he just wanted George to think of him while Dream was thinking of George. He sent the message and pocketed his phone. The music became unmuffled as he opened the bathroom door and someone immediately grabbed him and pulled him back into the fray.

Dream had… many regrets come morning.

Before he even opened his eyes, he knew how much of a doozy this hangover was. His head was pounding with the beat of his heart, his mouth felt packed with sand, and his stomach was turning. He felt like he needed to puke, but he was too numb to get up. Besides, he had a feeling he’d only end up dry heaving.

He scrubbed a hand over his eyes, debating going back to sleep. Something on the bed shifted next to him (much bigger than Patches), alerting him to the fact that he wasn’t alone.

After some coaxing, he squinted his eyes open and blinked against the scarce light peeking around the curtains—it wasn’t much light, but it was enough to make him want to die. He turned to see someone’s back facing him in the bed, a dude. Dream sent up a silent prayer of thanks that both the dude and Dream himself were fully clothed. He levered himself onto an elbow to see who was next to him. It was Skeppy, of all people, and he wasn't alone. Puffy was there too, curled up against Skeppy’s chest at the edge of the bed. Dream had no clue how neither of them had fallen off yet, so tightly wound together on the ledge. But they were there, snoozing happily.

Someone was snoring, but it wasn’t either of them. Dream sat up further and poked his head around to find Bad sprawled on the floor beside the bed. It seemed he’d wanted to get in with Skeppy and Puffy, but there hadn’t been enough room with Dream there as well. Skeppy’s hand was dangling off the side of the bed where Bad was; they must have fallen asleep holding hands. Despite his head and his stomach trying to remove themselves from his body, Dream smiled. They were all so sweet together.

He extracted himself from the bed slowly, not wanting to disturb them, and grabbed his phone charger from the power strip at his desk. He slipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind himself carefully. His phone was dead in his pocket, so he plugged it in at the bathroom counter as he set about cleaning himself up. He contemplated trying to throw up but decided against it. It might only make him even more sick. He washed his face and brushed his teeth. He definitely needed a shower and a change of clothes, but he didn’t have the energy for it yet.

A soft ding told him his phone was back on. He dried off his hands and picked it up. He had a couple of missed notifications. Karl left one saying he was taking Sapnap back to his place because someone had already taken Sapnap’s room. There was one from his next-door neighbor asking him to turn the music down or they would call the cops. Dream assumed that was a bluff, considering he didn’t remember the cops showing up at any point.

The last notification caught his eye.

It was a Snapchat message from George, received around 3 a.m.

Dream, call me when you get this. I don’t think you meant to send that. I need to talk to you.

Dream’s heart sunk.

What had he sent George? Had he drunk texted him? What had he said?

Oh God, he hadn't told him anything... incriminating, right? Had he said anything about wanting to be more than a sugar daddy, a friend with benefits, a casual observer?

There wasn’t anything saved in their chats above George’s most recent messages. The last message before that was Dream’s response to George’s “good luck with finals” message.

Wait. No it wasn’t.

The time stamp was wrong.

Dream had sent George a picture around 2:30 last night, when he was several drinks deep. He remembered going to the bathroom and texting George, but he couldn’t remember what he’d said no matter how hard he’d tried. He thought it had been a typed message in chat, not a picture.

Maybe he’d sent a dick pic? He hoped not. He had been too drunk to get it up at that point. If that’s what it was, it had to be horribly unflattering. And if not a dick pic, what had he taken a picture of?

His blood ran cold.

He was hitting the “call” button before he could overthink it.

George answered a few rings later. “Dream?”

“What did I send?” His voice was rough. He was trying to keep quiet so he didn’t bother his guests, and his mouth was dry even after brushing his teeth. He sounded like shit.

George sounded uncomfortable when he spoke. “Dream, I’m sorry. I don’t think you meant to—“

“What did I send, George?”

He knew the answer in the silence before George spoke. His stomach dropped when he said it anyway. “You—you sent me a picture of your face.”

Dream hung his head. Perfect. Of course. He’d had grand plans to pick George up from the airport and reveal his face then, or he’d at least make it sexy over their video calls or something. He wanted to make it a spectacle. Instead he’d drunk texted him a selfie.

“It wasn’t bad,” George tried to reassure him. “I couldn’t see it too clearly anyway. It was in the mirror, and you were very drunk. You were a little blurry.”

“What was I doing?”

“You were, like, leaning on the counter. You were smiling. You had a, uh…”

Dream frowned harder. “I had a what?”

“You had—have—a hickey on your neck.”

“What?” Dream stood up straight and pulled the collar of his shirt. Sure enough, there was a dark red mark on his neck, barely hidden by his shirt. “Huh. How the hell did that get there?”

George snorted. “Sounds like you had a fun night.” There was something bitter in his tone.

Dream scrambled for a response that wouldn't put him in the metaphorical dog house. “I don’t—I didn’t sleep with anyone. I would know. It just—my friends are super touchy. One of them probably did it while we were dancing.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Dream,” George said softly. “I’m a big boy. I know I’m not the only person in your life.”

“I do have to explain myself, though.” Dream ran his hand through his hair. “I care what you think about me. I don’t want you to think I sleep around. I don’t. Not really. Not anymore, at least. And I wanted to surprise you when you saw my face. I wanted it to be a thing.”

“Dream, calm down.” There was something calming about the British man’s voice, especially when he used that tone, like he was soothing a spooked animal. Which, for all intents and purposes, Dream was. “It’s okay. I’m not upset. I was just worried about you. I know it’s a thing for you, people seeing your face.”

“Oh.” Dream’s heart was thundering in his chest. It was making his head throb harder, but he didn’t particularly care at that moment. “Thank you. That’s—you’re really considerate. And did you—I mean, did…”

“You’re very handsome, Dream.”

Dream was dumbfounded. That wasn’t what he was going to ask, but he’s glad George said it. He wasn’t really concerned about that particular aspect of this whole ordeal, but it was nice to know. “Oh. Thanks. That’s… you too. I mean, I think you’re—fuck.”

George’s laugh echoed across the line, settling Dream’s frazzled nerves. “I know, honey. You’ve told me before. But let's continue this conversation when you’re not so hungover, yeah?”

Dream hummed in agreement. “You can tell?”

“You were sloshed last night. I could tell just by looking at you. Partied hard, hmm?”

Dream snorted. “Just a little. I don't even want to see the state of my living room right now. And there’s, like, two-thirds of a thruple in my bed right now.”

“Oh?” Amusement and interest tinged the older man’s voice.

“No, not like that,” Dream laughed. “They passed out in there. Their third is on the floor. They’re good friends of mine. No clue when we all fell asleep though.”

“Sounds like you need to get started making coffee for everyone, then. Be a good host.”

“Probably. I thought about ordering pizza. I have no clue how many people stayed over though.”

“Celebrating the end of term, then?”

A yawn worked its way out of Dream. “Yeah,” he said. “We all finished up yesterday so we just bought a bunch of beer and invited folks over.”

“Sounds fun.”

“We’ll invite you next time,” Dream said, his tongue loose from his hangover. Oh well. “I think you’d like my friends. They’re all… absolutely insane. But they’re the coolest, nicest people you’ll ever meet.”

A soft laugh drifted over the line. “Are you still drunk, Dream?”

He hummed. “Maybe a little.”

“You’re a mess, Dream.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks for putting up with me.”

“Anytime, love.”

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

[asterekmess]

S3A - E8

I’m realizing just how damn far behind I am on working on season 3, but I don’t wanna skip any episodes of the rewatch, so let’s get to it! Double time, double time!

Content warnings for discussion of cannibalism.

Forewarning, this one is a doozy, so be prepared to Read More:

Lesgo!:

First thing’s first, Derek has experience with those awful sound thingies? Can you imagine how freaked he must’ve been seeing Chris bring those out when they were tracking Boyd and Erica?

Also, Chris Argent has been hunting Derek one way or another since he was a child. Even BEFORE Kate. Why the hell do we have a Derek & Chris broness in the later seasons? This kind of shit doesn’t just go away. I can’t believe I forgot about it.

I love how awkward sweet bby Derek is trying to run through the trees and tripping on branches everywhere. It’s honestly so much more realistic for a teenager than just the crazy cgi stuff. Also, since we know Derek is comfortable in the woods, it really gives you a hint as to how truly messed up he is from fear right now. He’s off balance in a dozen ways.

DEREK HAS BEEN WATCHING PEOPLE DIE IN FRONT OF HIM SINCE HE WAS 15. I’m gonna CRY. If I wanna hurt myself even More, you could argue that the Random Beta (RB) got shot bc he stopped to talk to Derek. So...guilty minds would assume Derek has been watching people die because of him since 15. I hate everything.

PETER comin’ in clutch. Also, hilarious that they use that arrow catching move so much.

I almost like how they tried to make Gerard look younger by just having him wear a douchey leather jacket instead of the serious grandpa one he wears in S2. He swaggers over to the body of RB, and it’s hilarious.

Okay, what is this bullshit about “Bring them back alive, we go by the code?” If you were going by the code then you wouldn’t be fucking hunting them AT ALL. They’re innocent! Why the fuck are you ‘bringing them back’ in the first place? Chris, you piece of shit. This is supposed to demonstrate that you’ve always been a stickler for the code, but all it does is emphasize how little that code actually means. “We hunt those who hunt us.” Fuck off, you hunt anything you deem ‘dangerous’ and find excuses to kill them so you can feel righteous.

Gonna casually note that RB was shot in the Throat with an arrow, but bc of makeup necessities they moved the arrow down to his chest when he’s shown on the ground. It’s funny. :)

It’s seriously so hard to hate Peter, do the writers realize that? Like, yes, he did horrible shit and I’m not denying that, but when you show him running into the hunter-filled woods to save his nephew’s life at 24 years old, then hiding with him in a cellar for two fucking days when he could probably have escaped on his own, it’s hard to see him as a heartless bastard.

I’m almost afraid to find out why Cora knows the details. Can you imagine? She would’ve been, what, 9-10? Her big brother and uncle both go missing for two days after a hunt and she had to stay at home waiting for someone to say they’d found their bodies. God, the lives of the Hales are so fucked up.

The rain is really making the mood here.

I gotta say, I’m confused about this initial Cora-Stiles interaction. He goes on about everyone who’s died or nearly died, but then Cora assumes he wants Derek to do something about the deaths, and Stiles agrees? Except that Derek currently fits the COD that all the other sacrifices have hit. Missing for about two days. Everything Stiles has said implies that he’s worried Derek is also dead. I don’t get why they go with ‘I’m worried about the missing man that I’ve been helping for the last four months because I blame him for the Alphas even coming to town”?

One thing they got on point here is just how disgusting they made Gerard. The slime and the spitting and ugh *shudders* it’s just so gross.

I’m also...I think intrigued is the right word--that they shoved this whole story into the episode without ever addressing the fact that Derek IS missing and they should go looking for him or something. It starts with Stiles asking where the hell he is, but then everything else is about this past moment. Talk about going off on a tangent. I mean, I don’t blame them, but if I shoved this much character background into one chapter people would call me out for the infodump that it is.

Which is all this episode is. Info-dumped exposition. Here’s how werewolves were made. Here’s why Derek’s cranky. Here’s why Duke’s an asshole. Here’s why the Hales are ‘special’

Again, I don’t blame them. It’s just...a lot.

Just a tiny thing: Why do they both roll up their sleeves when Scott only has to touch Gerard’s hand?

It is also very hard to believe that either Allison or Scott are remotely good people when they’re both lying to everyone about Gerard’s existence.

*finger guns, bc now i have to use the tag* I think this is the longest I’ve ever gotten before using it.

Another thing: Why does Gerard make the gross noises like he’s in pain, when we know it doesn’t hurt to get the pain taken away from him? It certainly didn’t hurt that lady in the ER.

I know this is a weird thing to notice, but I find it interesting that Paige is wearing actual makeup. Not just the ‘natural’ look, but eyeshadow that’s visibly dark. *shrug*

Is she Actually playing the cello? The notes Don’t look like they match up with her bowing and fingerings.

HA that music cut in is fucking Hilarious. Derek turns around like he’s in a teen rom-com, with that casual “I never stop smiling all the way bc I’m the coolest guy around” grin and the music just WHAM. That’s right, Derek Hale used to be a JOCK. He didn’t used to be ‘a lot like Scott.’ He was a lot like JACKSON.

So, this group of cronies Derek has. What is that about? He’s gotta have that posse just like Jackson did in S1? Unnamed people to cackle at his jokes.

Paige’s face, right there? That is the SHIT for me. That’s not hidden attraction, that’s genuinely “What the fuck is my life, why are you so lame?” and I am LIVING for it.

Derek peacocking is also hilarious. Peacocking so hard he (THE WEREWOLF) didn’t notice that she’d left the hall, is even more so.

I hate to tell you this Paige, but THAT is where I could tell you liked him. Giving in to his bullshit offer was the first step, that look on your face when he said, “Hold on” was Blatant “Holy shit, my crush wants to talk to me” but then all you idiots did was make eye contact. Paige, if you’re trying to get the ball, try looking away from those pretty eyes, okay?

Derek, you always go too far. You can see Paige lose interest when she realizes that he’s not actually into Her, he’s into showing off.

OOOF, i guess they weren’t such good friends after all, cus’ they left when Paige did.

I also feel the need to point out Derek is WEARING A CHECKERED SHIRT. *inarticulate screaming* Everyone who makes jokes about him thinking plaid is disgusting owes me five bucks bc he CLEARLY didn’t think checkers/plaid were that bad when he was in high school.

I’ll admit...the instant sorry is like...really good. If they’d had him come in and be More of a dick and then end up together, I’d be a lot more bugged. But his First real introduction to her is an apology.

THEN he goes back to being a dick. But at least this time it’s not about him, he wants to know about Her.

And I LOVE the turnaround! THIS is flirting. THIS is cute teasing. She plays his game Back at him, shows her own skill and forces him to get on her level. Then he weasels out of it, but in a Cute Way.

If there’s one thing that I’m routinely impressed by in TW it’s the scoring. They’re Really good with music to fit the moods and the vibes of the whole episode. For instance, all the transition music in this episode is Cello, bc it’s about Paige.

I hate agreeing with Gerard on Anything, but he makes a good point about the Dark Druid taking and killing someone else right alongside Deaton. Why would she take 4 people when she only needed three? She wouldn’t know that Deaton got a message out or that Scott would save Deaton. Plus the addition of the mountain ash circle is kind of weird, don’t you think?

Yah, I have no clue why your body is producing anything Either. You literally make no sense and you shouldn’t be alive. Period. Bringing you back was a lazy way to have someone who could be a sub-sub plot and hand out exposition and red herrings that are totally useless.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT GERARD? You weren’t There when Deucalion found out he could still see with his Alpha Eyes (Which makes no sense btw, he doesn’t have TWO sets of eyes???) and if you’d interacted with Deuc since then he’d have ripped you to shreds.

SERIOUSLY people, why the FUCK are we getting this information from Gerard when it makes WAY more sense for Deaton to tell them this? He was THERE for the whole thing!

I get that the point of the episode is supposed to be “Unreliable Narrators” (The whole show has an unreliable narrator.) but you had that covered with Peter’s story. You could’ve Instilled TRUST in Deaton by making a contrast and having Deaton TELL THEM THE TRUTH. Show the difference between reliable and unreliable. Gerard doesn’t need to be here!

Stiles, asking the real questions.

AND GETTING THE MOST BULLSHIT ANSWER IN THE UNIVERSE.

Could these writers GET any lazier? Put some fucking effort in and give us some information about Werewolves IN YOUR WEREWOLF TV SHOW.

What the fuck were Paige and Derek into that they knew where an abandoned distillery was when it wasn’t even in TOWN? And you’re telling me they left town every time they wanted to make out? Even worse, are you implying they had SEX in that distillery? And then trying to tell me that none of the fucking Alphas and their packs noticed the smell of Derek and his girlfriend all over the building?

...what...do people seriously not remember being teenagers? What the fuck Peter? In what fucking universe  is “one minute it’s ‘i hate you, don’t talk to me’ the next it’s frantic groping in any dark corner’ remotely accurate to real life?

Teenagers in the majority don’t DO that. I really fucking hate that all teenagers are made out to be like this. Like they’re “run by their hormones” and “everything is sex to you” STOP. Seriously, STOP. Saying shit like that completely negates the fact that Teenagers are Real fucking People. They’re not just buckets of hormones and sweat that need to be shaped into an adult. They’re fucking PEOPLE and reducing them to sex-crazed idiots is lazy and stupid.

Are you ALSO telling me that the hunters dragged RB’s DEad Body to an abandoned building, then strung the corpse up and cut it in half? AND that someone happened to go the abandoned building and found the body and called the cops, or that they MOVEd the two halves somewhere they would be found, Or that They were the ones to call and report the body?

Has teen wolf got even a Single brain cell?

ALSO, what the fuck is this timeline? Derek and Peter went missing for two days after RB was killed, but the packs don’t get together to discuss RB’s death until After Derek has run out of the building with Paige because he could smell blood from RB being hemisected. So, they waited at Least two days before talking to each other about RB’s death? And Derek apparently recovered Instantaneously from his two day nightmare and went right back to macking on his girlfriend and laughing freely the Day he was found? Or did they wait even longer? I’m so fucking confused!

Okay, you tell me that this place is their favorite makeout/groping spot, but they seriously just walk in the door and start kissing in the middle of the room? You guys didn’t bring some blankets and pillows here? You’re gonna stand there the whole time?

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING PETER A PERVERT? He was fucking watching his nephew make out with his girlfriend through the wall??? WHat is WRONG with you?

ALSO, Cora was alive and active in Derek’s life at that point. She wasn’t That young. She could easily point out that Peter being Derek’s best friend is total bullshit if it weren’t actually true. Which means Peter is telling the TRUTH here. Hell, she doesn’t call out his heartbeat for lies the entire time, and while they imply at the end of the episode that Really Good Liars can just force their heart to be steady while lying so they don’t get caught, that isn’t a thing for the entire rest of the show. Derek trusts KATE when she says she’s not lying. So the evidence actually points toward Peter telling the TRUTH in this entire episode.

THAT is accurate to teenagers. Using the word “like” and “liking” so many times in a conversation that it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.

Paige...dude, I’m so torn. Like I’m glad you’re being honest with Derek about your worries, but also it’s a complete dick move to just Assume that he’s gonna bail? To say to his face that you Know he’s leaving you and you’re just waiting for it? Fucking rude.

Ennis...bro...how exactly did your Beta “Accidentally” kill a hunter? How would that happen?

AGAIN WITH THE TIMELINE. If the packs only CAME to beacon hills because of Ennis issue with the hunters, why was RB running through beacon hills when he was killed?

Also, side note: Where are all of these werewolves staying? Are they territorial so they like, all claimed different hotels to take over? Or do they not mind, and THAT’S why the Hale house is so big for such a small family? Because they had a ton of guest rooms for packs that visited to get that sweet, sweet Hale Wisdom?

I firmly believe that werewolves are clothing-optional people. Talia straight shifts into a naked human form in front of over a dozen other wolves.

Also, where the hell is the Hale pack here? Some random chick comes up and gives Talia a robe, but that person is standing with Deuc’s pack. So....what?

I’m so curious about the formation the wolves make when they hear Talia coming. Everybody backs away, except Deucalion. And they do this weird focus on his face as he watches her come in. And her eye contact is JUST with him.

OH GROSS. DID DEUC HAVE A THING FOR DEREK’S MOM????

I will admit that watching things with subtitles sometimes ruins the surprise. There’s that little pause before “I’m just a deputy” like it was supposed to be shocking to the audience, but the subtitle on Amazon Prime just Pops up right away and it kind of ruins the effect.

Here we go! The one piece of concrete information on “Packs” and “pack members” that we’re given in the whole fucking show. Word for Word. “Losing a member of your pack isn’t like losing family, it’s like you lose a limb.”

That is....severe. Now imagine that your entire family IS your pack. And losing almost every one of them. Is it any wonder that Cora, Peter, and Derek are so messed up? That they’re so dark and wounded looking?

I s2g sometimes Peter literally just sounds like he’s a self-insert for the writers. He explains shit that the writer’s are showing Really Badly as if to wave away the fact that the Ennis flashback is pretty much Completely unnecessary. “You just don’t understand my artistic genius, it’s never just a single moment, it’s a confluence of events. I have to show you all these random flashbacks because you need to understand why Derek is soaked in MANPAIN all the time. Which is totally relevant to the current plot bc....bc....bc ART (and also Tyler Hoechlin was busy so we could only get one shot of him for the entire episode)”

That is just the cutest shit oh my god. Derek listens to Paige’s music while he’s in class and doing homework. THAT is love, you realize? He doesn’t just deal with her dedication to her music, he loves it.

THat little wince when he says “Are you sure about that?” Paige knows he’s gonna screw with her.

THAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. He gives her space! She likes studying during lunch so he Leaves her Alone. I LIKE IT.

What do you mean “Laura told you about the packs being here.” Derek KNOWS they’re here because he watched RB DIE IN THE WOODS. Seriously, I”M SO CONFUSED.

FUN FACT (that I might’ve already shared) Oak wood was liked by the Celts because it was really sturdy and hardy and bore food, but it wasn’t their favorite type of wood! Rowan was the favorite, and Irish pagan practitioners used to sleep in rowan trees so they could have prophetic dreams. After that, it was Hazelwood. :P

I...do not enjoy when they bring up the Celtic Druids. *Scuttles to get my textbook bc this is my nerd shit*

“We’re in a Nemeton” This is the correct wording, actually! A “Nemeton” isn’t a thing, it’s a “sacred meeting place” as Chris calls it. Go chris! Nemeton refers to the entire grove/area around the main tree.

I can’t speak to whether they chose a ‘Large, older tree in a grove” but it does make sense bc if we’re talking about Oaks they were a symbol of food and safety (acorns were a staple to Celtic diets) so choosing an older tree would not only look more impressive, but it would probably bear more acorns for the clan.

“It would represent the center of the world” *Puts on vine voice* THat is NOt Correct! The tree at the center of the Nemeton was called a “crann bethadh” or “Tree of Life” and it was essentially a Totem that marked the center of the tribe’s territory. It was not ‘the center of the world’ it was the center of THEIR world. Their land.

“There was a belief that cutting or harming the tree would cause serious problems for the surrounding villages” Not sure if ‘villages’ is the correct term for the era, but the rest of it sounds like a close mistranslation. See, in Ireland there were raids people would do against other clans where the SOLE PURPOSE was to destroy their crann bethadh, because it was demoralizing. It’s like graffiti-ing the front of a church. But technically, it WAS severely frowned upon to harm the tree in any way.

This is mostly because in most Celtic areas, Oak trees were considered symbols of the “Father of the Sky” or the “God of Thunder.” Of course you don’t wanna piss off Thunder man.

Also, you notice how I’m saying CELTS and not DRUIDS. It’s because DRUID isn’t a cultural label, it’s a SOCIAL CLASS. It’s like saying “The Educated”

Okay, back to the--OH WAIT. Before anyone gets any ideas, the blood on the crann bethadh isn’t human. Estonian Celts smeared animal blood on the tree roots as an assurance for rain and good harvests. This is the same concept as TONS of other religions, including Christianity. (Abraham was supposed to sacrifice his son, Isaac, to God, but God stopped him and had him sacrifice a Ram instead. So, Yes. Christians used to perform animal sacrifices.)

NOW back to the show.

THe fact that gerard doesn’t know this stuff implies that Chris is the nerd of the family.

I LIKE THIS. I hate that I like it bc it’s Gerard, but I LIKE IT. Gerard gets up from his wheelchair. He doesn’t need it All the Time.

I’ve never seen another show that bothered to have a wheelchair user who wasn’t wheelchair-bound, which is stupid because it’s Very Common for people using wheelchairs to not need them all the time.

though it does beg the question of why he’s sitting in a wheelchair when he’s in his own bedroom? Was he going somewhere? Or did he know he wouldn’t have enough chairs and didn’t want Allison or Scott to sit in his chair?

The story of Lycaon, who was considered a savage ruler of Arcadia and Zeus went to his house disguised as a human (this is v common in myth) to find out if he was batshit. Lycaon and his FIFTY SONS (he also had one daughter) wanted to know if the stranger was a human or a mortal, so they fed him human flesh in stew. Zeus flipped shit and blasted the room with thunderbolts, murdering all but one of Lycaon’s sons, and then turned Lycaon into a wolf.

So...this whole ‘myth of lycaon’ is totally fucked up when it didn’t need to be? Like, they didn’t NEED to change it to make it a messed up origin story of wolves. It already was.

There’s three major versions to choose from

Lycaon was a pius man who founded the city of Lycosura on Mount Lycaeus and used a child as a sacrifice to Zeus, thinking it would please him. Zeus flips shit and turns Lycaon into a wolf. FROM THEN ON; at every sacrifice made to zeus a man was transformed into a wolf and if he managed to restrain himself from eating human flesh for 8-9 years, he would be turned human again.

The same story as the first, except Lycaon Knew Zeus was in disguise and the child he fed him was Zeus’ own son, and it was revenge for seducing his only daughter Callisto.

If you want to make it match what you’ve already said about wolves in the show, they could’ve used the last one and it would’ve demonstrated how Ingrained the concept of vendetta/revenge is for wolves.

If you wanted to focus on the Turning Human part and working with Celtic Druids to learn to become werewolves, you could’ve used the second one.

there was no reason to add in the bullshit about Prometheus except as an excuse to make Deucalion look like he picked his name to be an asshole, which he fucking didn’t.

 I’m so sorry about all the classical shit (i’m really not) but I studied it in college and I can’t just let this bullshit stand.

I’ll give them a pass on the ‘the lesser known part’ bc it’s technically plausible for the wolves to have run north to the Celts and beg for help, And the Druids (those who’s education was specifically in magic, not all of them) were known for shapeshifting (though not usually into animals. They did that to Other people, not themselves)

I cannot believe this is so long, i’m so sorry.

But WHY tho, Cora? How is an Emissary supposed to keep you connected to humanity if No ONe KNows Who They Are?? How are they supposed to do their job??

Yeah, well now Deaton is a sour bitch who has a chip on his shoulder against the Hale pack so like...fuck his advice.

I will say though! Pre-fire Deaton doesn’t give me the heebies like post-fire Deaton. He’s much more clear about the advice he’s giving, and it’s actually helpful! He still has a dumb little anecdote/parable about the scorpion and the frog (which...in most circumstances I hate. It doesn’t even match what happens) but he gives Real Advice instead of vague asshole nonsense.

“I’m an Alpha, I never walk alone.” I have an inordinate affection for this line.

Paige is clearly some kinda bad bitch if she thought nothing of going to hang out in the school in the middle of the night with Derek.

Okay, but like...why would he attack Ennis like that if he was the one who asked him to bite Paige? And why is the moment played up “A fifteen-year-old boy against a giant” Derek was literally swatted to the side while Ennis walked out of the building. this wasn’t some big showdown.

If she’d already been bitten, why was Ennis still grabbing at her??

....seriously? Peter is literally right there? And no one noticed?

Again with the “Scott is a genius now” LIsten, bro, why the fuck would Scott know a sanskrit fable? If he Did know a story like that, it would be bc Deaton taught him. In which case he would know the FROG and the scorpion. Come on, guys.

OH MY GOD GERARD DOES IT TOO. GERARD, PETER, AND DEUC all have a CHRONIC case of verbal diarrhea when they’re trying to be intimidating.

I do NOT understand this warehouse scene. It’s a GAS gerard, if you stabbed yourself with some sort of...antidote or whatever it wouldn’t save you from the GAS you’re inhaling. At the very least you would be shouting like everyone else because it HURTS going in.

why did it take so long for Talia to come? It’s implied that Peter left to get her, so why did it take so long? Even PAST peter looks fucked up at seeing that Paige is dying, it’s not like he would wait.

I’ll be real, i get weepy so i’m skipping the actual death. Just know that it hurts me. Severely.

Y’all know how much I hate this ‘innocent life’ bullshit for blue eyes. It’s very True Alpha-y in that it’s impossible to pin down the specifics. What constitutes an ‘innocent life’? What constitutes taking it? With wolf claws? With a gun? What counts and what doesn’t count? Ugh.

Eyyy, so I’m exhausted and this is so long that my computer is fritzing. There are five minutes left and nothing happens in them at all. Just Scott pointing out the heartbeat thing and threatening to kill Gerard (so he’s still fine with murder at this point in time. Good to know). Stiles telling Cora that he doesn’t think Peter was telling the truth (which she would Know if he wasn’t) and that he’s gonna ask Derek about it (which we never got to see). And Deucalion murdering his own Beta (who, tbf, tried to kill him first. Which, again, what the fuck is up with Deaton’s office that wolves are able to rip each other apart in it, but it’s still ‘hard for someone like Scott to cause me any trouble.’ I’m just so confused

Final Thoughts: This episode actually had some interesting stuff in it, which is kind of sad considering there was no PLOT, just Exposition. I look forward to tweezing the bits out that I want and dumping the rest in the garbage where it belongs. Oh, and like I said, the music was on Point.

[gaynoctgar]

Prompto’s Brotherhood Arc is Fatphobic 2, Electric Boogaloo: Haley’s Back and She is Pissed

This essay is going to be an even deeper dive into the fatphobia that permeates Prompto’s character arc, and is going to handle the issue with more grace and nuance than I did the first time.  This is also going to explore the effects the arc had on me as a player, and on other players who share my experiences.  It is going to be very organized, long, and methodical (word count: ~5300).  It’s a bit of a doozy, but it is something I feel it is very important.  I have been wanting to elaborate on my previous Prompto essay for a long time, and for reasons I will detail below, I feel that I am ready to do this now.

Consider this a sequel to my earlier essay, and I will be referencing it throughout.

Stand back everyone; Haley’s about to get mean and personal. 

Under the cut for safety and length, please avoid if the subject is triggering to you!  Take care of yourselves! 

Thank you all so, so much for hearing what I have to say.

TW: fatphobia, eating disorders (both in terms of Prompto and of the author)

Intro

All right everyone, buckle in.  Last time I think I was a little bit too nice about this.  Last time I think I let a little too much go.  But I’m a full three years older now and I’ve seen a few more things.  And now I think it’s time that I really just let loose and criticize the fuck out of Square for something they have consistently done wrong, and that is the way they have handled issues with weight in regards to one Prompto Argentum.

Many of you may know that Prompto is one of my favorite characters in anything ever.  This very sideblog, in fact, used to be named for him (old url was promptoisbi).  It’s because of this that I hate that he’s so consistently shit on by the narrative, but right now we are talking about the out-of-universe insidiousness of the fatphobia that completely permeates this story.

The first essay is right here but the TL;DR version of that is essentially “the way that Prompto’s weight loss in Brotherhood is portrayed as a moral and positive good and in fact necessary for him to be a protagonist is immensely fatphobic.  Because the game refuses to problematize this, I am going to, and I’m going to contextualize that with my own experiences to help explain why this is so fucked.”  At that time, I was recovering from long-term anorexia, and I think that permeated a lot of what I wrote. I don’t regret this, and I still think the essay is pretty solid.  But I’m not a woman who won’t admit her own limitations, and one of mine at the time was that a lot of my fatphobia was internalized.  Now that I am healing, now that I have talked to other people with experiences that mirror my own (notably @chubbyargentum), I think I am in a better place to articulate what upsets me.  

The rest of the essay will be divided into six parts, themed as follows:

A redux of my central criticism in the first essay, that the narrative treats Prompto’s weight loss as a positive, moral good.  In fact, it’s necessary for him to be seen as a protagonist.

Detailing that Prompto’s weight loss was directly motivated by another character, and this other character does not apologize to Prompto at all for his previous behavior.  We are in fact supposed to believe that him saying what he said was a good thing.

Evidence that Prompto still legitimately has an eating disorder from his trauma. This goes unexamined by the story, and in fact seems to be actively encouraged by other characters, notably Ignis and Noct.  This isn’t to bash the characters, but the way they are written.

Points 1 and 3 combined produce a genuinely triggering experience for players like me; this is where I detail some of my own history with weight and eating problems.

Anticipating pushback, I propose two alternative scenarios that avoid the problems outlined in parts 1-4: one where Prompto doesn’t lose weight, and one where he does but it’s handled a lot more sensitively.

A personal look at what (and who) actually motivated me to do a Part 2 to my essay.

Followed by a TL;DR conclusion if you want to jump right to the heart of things.  I know this is a long essay, and I don’t apologize, but I do want to make it accessible to those who might have a harder time reading something so long.

Time to knock down these points, one by one:

Part 1: Equating Weight Loss to Morality

Prompto’s episode in Brotherhood, “Dogged Runner,” serves as our introduction both to Prompto as a character, and pulls double-duty to show us how he becomes involved in the life of a prince.  Gladio and Ignis’ episodes did not have to do this double work because they are in Noct’s life by occupation, but Prompto, being a commoner, needs this introduction. Unfortunately, this episode is not twice as long to handle the double workload it gave itself, and the plot clearly suffers for it.  For those who don’t remember, Prompto seems to be a child who more or less raises himself--a shy boy who is in the same grade as Noctis.  He is quite obviously overweight, and the episode in fact chooses to focus the bulk of its attention on that rather than how he met Noctis (this will be explored in Part 2, below).  This is what I take issue with.

Due to....an encounter, we’ll call it, with his royal classmate, Prompto becomes motivated to “improve himself to become someone worthy of a prince,” as described in Episode Prompto.  Right off the bat, this description is implying that in order to be worthy of Noctis’ companionship--even independently of Noctis’ own actions, which will be problematized in the next section--he must be different than the way he is.

This...doesn’t make sense.  We already saw that Prompto was a kind and generous soul, if rather shy.  He took in “Tiny” of his own accord; he fixed her up and fed her and made sure she was healthy, solely out of the goodness of his heart.  What else could this literal child need to “improve” about himself to make friends with Noctis?  Well...the episode focuses on this in a way I would almost argue is objectifying.  We see in excruciating detail how this literal child (I feel the need to mention again that Prompto is 12 years old and doesn’t seem to have consistent parents) approaches the world with a black-and-white mentality….that is, he seems to focus exclusively on eating salads and running an excessive amount (we’ll get to this more in Part 3).  Further objectification occurs when we are shown repeatedly that a minor is taking “progress shots” of himself in his underwear.  

A bit of a tangent, but the way that last one is drawn...y’all did remember Prompto was 14/15 at that time, right?  Extra H points for Square, right there.

So yeah, once all of this happens, Prompto is finally deemed by the narrative to be acceptable enough to enter the life of a prince.  Basically, if you’re fat, get a goddamn eating disorder and you can be a protagonist!

And I’m actually gonna take a second right now to address the more common, and generous, interpretation/criticism I am anticipating.  I know what SE was trying to do here.  They were trying to show us that Prompto’s “self-esteem” was the problem.  That he needed to gain more confidence, and losing the weight didn’t actually solve that problem.  I know this is the intent because the hotel scene exists.  But...answer me this.  Why is losing weight treated as an analogue for Prompto’s internal character growth?  Why is losing weight an analogue for literally anything?  If the issue was Prompto’s insecurity and shyness, there are a dozen other ways to show that. I can think of one right now: maybe have Noctis try to make friends and Prompto runs away because he gets nervous and tongue-tied and that’s the source of their lingering awkwardness.  There you go, much better episode.

Part 2: Noctis is a dick

And I say this as a Noct stan.  Y’all know I love him.  With all my heart, I do.  But...I don’t think he starts the game as a good person, in this respect at least.  I do think he becomes one.  And I think that his growth and maturation over the course of the game is absolutely a treat to watch.  

I’m gonna immediately qualify this by saying I do not think Noct is a dick on purpose.  Noctis is, in fact, unfailingly kind in most situations and this is one of his greater strengths.  I just think he is just as much a victim of internalized fatphobia as Prompto is, despite not having the experience of being fat.  I think two things contribute to this: biases that went unchecked by any of his caretakers, and genuine social difficulty brought about by his upbringing.

But now it’s time to get to….the incident.  The reason these two know each other.  After Prompto takes care of Pryna, she runs to deliver her letter to Noctis and eventually returns to Luna, as was her original mission.  Luna, noticing Prompto’s name on a bandana tied around Pryna’s leg, tasks Gentiana to help her find this kind soul so she can thank him.  Luna does, and Prompto receives a letter that soon becomes his prized possession.  The princess operated on the assumption that Prompto and Noctis were friends, seeing as Prompto encountered Pryna, and asked that he remain “ever at [Noctis’] side.”  Prompto takes these words to heart, and resolves to introduce himself to his royal classmate.

Here’s where the problems begin.  We know that Prompto is shy because we have seen him before.  He kinda kept to himself, away from the other kids, content to take his pictures.  To Square’s credit, I was really expecting Prompto to be a target of bullying because of his weight and he wasn’t….yet.  This actually makes his interaction with Noctis a lot worse, however.  We all know what happens next: Prompto does try to introduce himself to the loner prince (who, by his own admission later, was also kinda shy), and he happens to trip.  Noct goes to help him out because he’s kind at heart, and a confused Prompto thinks that Noctis means that he wants to see the camera.  Noct is baffled and says something along the lines of “I meant you, dummy!” and goes to help Prompto up. 

Honestly, end the scene here.  They become friends because Noct is unexpectedly kind to someone he didn’t even know, and that sticks with Prompto, and they’re childhood best friends. Right?  RIGHT?

If Square had had a modicum of decency, yes, this would have been how the scene closed.  But then Noct had to open his fucking mouth.  When trying to help Prompto up, he remarks that the poor boy is “heavy,” something that quickly and immediately impacts Prompto.  Noct, also being 12, seems none the wiser and jovially heads off to meet Ignis.  But Prompto?  Prompto is….affected by this.  He decides then and there that he has to not be heavy anymore if he wants to be Noct’s friend.   

“But Haley!” I can hear y’all saying, “Isn’t it Prompto’s fault for internalizing a harmless comment in such a way?  Why are you so angry at Noct because Prompto took it too seriously?”  Or alternatively “Noctis was also a child, he didn’t mean it!!”

Well, it’s all about how the narrative treats the situation.  I mentioned this before in Part 1, but the reason I’m mad at both Noctis and Square is because the narrative treats him as though he is in the right at all times.  If the issue really was with Prompto as a character, then we wouldn’t have been shown his journey in such excruciating detail.  We wouldn’t have been subjected to the downright harmful avenues he goes down in pursuit of this goal (see Part 3 for elaboration).  We would have just seen Prompto trying to work on becoming more outgoing--maybe talking to his neighbors more often, for example.  

One small scene in particular gets me here: we do see Noct return to the place where they met and he seems to be baffled by the fact that Prompto will not talk to him.  We in fact know this to be the case because in the hotel scene, Noct explicitly says Prompto “should have said something sooner” in terms of starting their friendship.  Now, this pisses me off for two reasons:

That this wasn’t addressed in Brotherhood itself.  We see that Noct kinda wants to approach Prom again but doesn’t seem to know how.  If we are assuming he messed up on accident, this would have been a great time for Ignis to tell him so, maybe motivate Noct to apologize.

That Prompto doesn’t immediately call Noct out for this line, or say something along the lines of “Well you kinda straight up insulted me when we first met.”

So, because neither of these scenarios is the case, I have to assume that Square wants us to think that Noct was correct to insult Prompto, and that him losing the weight is a good thing, in a narrative sense.  

Finally, it’s straight up out-of-character for Noct to be this way.  Not the misspeaking part, that is perfectly in-character.  It’s the fact that this bias of his goes unchecked by Ignis or Gladio, and he is never made to apologize for hurting another person’s feelings.  Part of growing up is realizing that sometimes your actions can hurt other people, even if you don’t intend for them to.  The fact that the intent wasn’t there doesn’t mean the hurt wasn’t real.  Since Square is so convinced that Noct needed to “mature” in this story...I am immensely disappointed that the opportunity wasn’t taken here for him to learn.  And even more disappointed because I am pretty sure this is intentional.  Every single one of Square’s fat characters is used as a side character or comic relief.  In order for Prompto to be a protagonist, he had to lose weight, and to have Noctis--the central protagonist--be the character to directly motivate that is a slap in the face.

Part 3: Don’t Recover, Buddy!/ It’s actually good that you have “obesophobia”

So I know I put the trigger warning at the top of this, but I’m doing it again, because now I’m gonna talk about eating disorders.  So this is your last chance to back out if that stuff is legitimately triggering, which I understand.

I’m gonna say it right now: Prompto has anorexia

[several people are typing…. .jpg]

I don’t think this is subtle, and I do think this is intentional, so let me break it down.  Prompto exhibits a lot of the symptoms, and yes I am speaking from personal experience.  He’s exhibited all of these from the moment Noct made that comment when they were kids, and, notably, only from that point on (hence why I wrote Part 2 the way that I did):

Prompto has an obsession with fixing meals.  He’ll be the one that helps Ignis the most often.  In Prompto’s case, this is a sign that he loves preparing the food, not so much partaking: classic hiding of symptoms.  There is also the fact that most of the salads are his favorite meals, which yes, is a deliberate callback, but I don’t think it’s a good one.

Prompto runs a genuinely stupid amount.  I think that exercise is well and good--I’m something of an exercise buff myself--but it’s the way that Prompto does it, to the point of exhaustion, that is a problem.

Despite being borderline underweight, Prompto legitimately still seems to think that he is still fat.  This is supported by his reactions to multiple dialogues, which I’ll get to in a second, and the “obesophobia” thing on his character profile which….yeah I shouldn’t even have to explain that one.  Prompto is legitimately afraid that he will gain weight--specifically, that he will be fat again.

The fact that according to that same profile, Prompto’s photography habit started when he took progress photos of himself!! So he’s also got some legit body dysmorphia going on.

These are the ones that are most obvious to me, anyway.  

“Now okay, Haley,” y’all are furiously typing, “so what that Prompto has anorexia?  That’s a relatable character flaw!”

Well….one, no it isn’t.  A disorder of any kind is not a character flaw.  I’d be willing to let that slide if the following were not also true: other characters seem to reinforce these behaviors of Prompto’s, and I am looking directly at Ignis and Noct.  Let’s start with Ignis.  I’m sure we have all gotten the random dialogue of

Prompto: All right, let’s hit up the Crow’s Nest! Ignis, for no fucking reason: If you wish to put on weight?  Certainly. Prompto, defeated: Yeah, I know…

Every time I get this dialogue I want to yell and also want the option to kick Ignis out of the party.  Also the fact that no one steps up on Prompto’s behalf (notably, you know, his goddamn best friend!!) is a bit of an Issue too.  Another one involves Ignis, but I have only gotten it once, so I can’t remember it exactly, but Ignis says something to the effect that he can make “whatever [Prompto] wants” for dinner and Prompto says “Yeah, it’s the wanting that’s the problem.”  That’s...that’s horrifying and y’all should be concerned for your friend.

To turn my attention back to Noct, objectively the most important person to Prompto, we need go no further than “Why is your face so fat?” in selfies.  

This one legitimately made me mad.  Prompto panics and retaliates with “What?? I’m not fat!!” (notably, he said “I” and not “my face,” which is a bit of a slip), and Noctis is supposed to be his best friend.  I was somewhat okay with Noct being passive in the earlier incidents, because maybe he wanted to spare Prompto the group drama that would ensue, but Noct directly engaging in it actively pissed me off.  I also want to say this isn’t me bashing on the characters in the slightest, I am simply calling attention to the way they are written.  Because they are not called out by anyone else, because this behavior is treated as acceptable, I have to assume the narrative wants me to agree with them.

The only conclusion I can gather from this is that not only are the bros aware of Prompto’s disorder, but they actively encourage it.  Which would only further Prompto’s assumption that they only will love and accept him if he looks a certain way.  No wonder the poor kid was so freaked out about his barcode!

Part 4: This shit is triggering to players

The subtitle for this section should be “Haley talks about how deeply “Dogged Runner” affected her in a PTSD kind of way” because that’s what I’m going to be doing.  Second trigger warning for eating disorders and weight talk, because that’s what this is gonna be.  This also is not going to be nice.  I have strong language for Square:

Here’s where I come clean about why this issue matters so fucking much to me, and why I am now freely and openly saying “fuck you” to Square every chance I get.  When I first saw Brotherhood, I was at a stage in my life where I was not coping well with my body image.  I had my first brush with anorexia in high school, but it was coming back because I was in a new place, and I felt like that was the only thing in my life that I could control.  So I had been eating less and falling back into the habit, except...this time I had my support system.  So I thought.  I went into the anime wanting to learn more about the characters I had come to love, and I walked out of it thoroughly triggered and horrified that Square would stoop to such shoddy, lazy, and harmful storytelling.  

I had...a moment, here.  I won’t detail the breakdown too much but I was genuinely not okay.  To see behaviors that I had ferociously clawed my way out of, and was violently resisting once more, portrayed not only as not unhealthy, but as desirable for people like me...it genuinely felt personal.  And, I imagine I wasn’t the only player who felt that way.  In fact, because I have talked to other people like me, I know this is the case.

Let me take you on a trip, for a moment.  Humor me.  Imagine you’re in your early 20s, and you’ve put a lot of ugly, horrible coping methods behind you.  Imagine your best friend in the entire world, @nonbinary-recipehs​, recommends this game they are playing, and you play it together and start to consume its media.  Imagine the horror and dread that settles on the both of you watching this episode, which rings so similarly to the times you passed out from lack of food, from over-exercising, from over-straining yourself to be this idealized version of thinness.  Imagine seeing that the outcome of this episode isn’t Prompto getting the support he needs from his friends, but that the narrative legitimizes his suffering. In fact, this brutal suffering and rapid loss of weight was necessary to justify this character’s relevance to the narrative! Imagine how that must make you feel.  Maybe those coping methods that were so horrible actually weren’t.  It worked for Prompto, maybe it’ll work for you!!

Perhaps that little thought experiment will help you understand what this whole situation can feel like to players like me, to people who have struggled with internalized fatphobia and with eating disorders, who have been called heavy, who have been made to feel as though their worth is in their thinness.  Fuck you, Square.  Fuck you for not having an ounce of consideration for how this might possibly look.  Fuck you for not considering people like me as complete people.  Fuck you for making me watch a character I love suffer, not to tragedy, but to an illness that could have been avoided if anyone had shown him even an ounce of respect or care or decency or decorum--

…

I did warn y’all I was angry, this time.

Part 5: Two Alternative Scenarios that would Avoid All This

“So Haley,” you’re saying, somehow having read past the rant in the previous section, “if Square did it so horribly, how would you have done it?”

That, my dear reader, is an excellent question.  In fact, I’ve got two solutions, which I will explain and elaborate upon below:

The first is rather simple: Prompto doesn’t actually lose the weight and becomes a canonical fat character.  Absolutely nothing else would change about the story or Prompto’s character except for the following:

Noctis would become curious as to why this new friend of his was avoiding him.  He then has the opportunity to open up to Ignis or Gladio and reflect on what he said, and realize that he actually hurt Prompto’s feelings.  This motivates him to apologize, and the two become Actual Childhood Friends.

Prompto just Has This Body Type Now and nobody says dick about it, that’s just the Way He Looks

You could explore internalized fatphobia I suppose but I don’t actually trust Square to do this sensitively.  You know who I do trust? Liam ( @chubbyargentum ), who writes the Nighttime Sunshine AU and fic.  

All of the previously mentioned fatphobic comments are completely removed because all the bros love and support him.

Prompto isn’t the comic relief because of his size, he just happens to be both.  Yes, there is a difference, and no, I am not going to derail the essay by explaining that.

Prompto would still absolutely kick ass, take names, shoot people, love chocobos...all the shit he does in canon.  But now, you have a character who didn’t have to be completely humiliated to get to this point.  Now you just...have a guy who happens to be friends with the prince, because he is kind and caring. 

But okay, let’s take another approach.  Let’s say Prompto does still lose weight. How, then, do we accomplish this without being fatphobic or debasing Prompto’s character like canon did?  

That leads me to solution 2: Prompto does lose weight, but it’s incidental.  Let me explain what I mean here:

Let’s have a situation in which the apology does still happen as I outlined in the first solution.  Childhood friends is a thing.

As such, Prompto becomes...increasingly curious at all the cool training Noct does.

Noct is….embarrassed about this, I think. Because Prompto doesn’t like Understand What It All Means...and they’re still pretty young.  Noct doesn’t want him to understand.

But Prompto?  He wants to be able to Do Cool Shit, especially if it means defending his best bro who also happens to be the prince.  And he doesn’t want Noct to do any of this alone.  He asks to train with Noct, no special treatment (except for like the fact that he legit can’t do magic).

Gladio...allows this, begrudgingly.  Then, permanently, when he notices Noct tries harder as a result of showing off.

Prompto starts to learn how to take care of himself from Gladio, and from Ignis, who has...gathered that Prompto doesn’t exactly have parents, and becomes invested in helping him learn how to cook healthy meals for himself.  Who knows?  Maybe the healthy eating will rub off on Noct!

The result is that, over time, Prompto does lose some weight...and starts to bulk up as Puberty Happens.  However.  This is all incidental.  Prompto never set out to lose weight because he hated himself or felt unworthy, like in canon.  He set out to become strong and train with his best bro.  This is absolutely critical. 

With this solution, Prompto does lose weight, but doesn’t become the borderline underweight young man with an eating disorder we all know and love.  Instead, he’s been brought up around healthier traditions, which makes him immensely more suited for the role of Crownsguard when that time comes.  In fact, he might have entered it at age 18 just like Gladio and Ignis did, despite Noct’s protests.  Another thing I like about this solution is that it shows how Prompto is friends with Ignis and Gladio; how those relationships developed independently of Noctis, and why these four really are the family unit the game wants me to think they are.

And with these two solutions, I believe I have laid out some much stronger backstories for our beloved boy that avoid all of the...unfortunate implications of his canon backstory.  I only wish that Square had thought about their implications just a little bit more, and done Prompto some true justice.

Part 6: What motivated this essay, and the power of shared experience

This isn’t really a proper conclusion, that’ll be in TL;DR, but I would be remiss to not include what actually motivated me to write this massive essay, and also share it with all of you.  The sharing part, I think, is super critical.  When you inhabit marginalized identities, and in this case I specifically mean having a fat body, it can be...difficult to share and discuss your experiences.  Harder, still, to be public about them, and to criticize media that perpetuates these harmful ideas.  But here I am, doing that.  Here’s why that is.

About a month ago, I met @chubbyargentum, who is called Liam.  I was cruising through the promptis tag, as you do, and found his Nighttime Sunshine AU, and his blog is filled with excellent art for it as well. The premise of this AU, on its face, is very simple: it’s a story where Prompto and Noctis did not actually become friends in high school, and two very important things are different: Prompto is still fat, and Noctis is a closeted trans man.  While I can’t speak to the trans experience, I can indeed speak to the experience of inhabiting a fat body.  And this AU….spoke to me.  I don’t want to spoil too much but there is a rather emotional scene that just...confronts everything I wanted Square to confront about this that they never did.  He approaches the topic with so much sensitivity and nuance, something that is so rarely seen in fandom. 

I’ve talked with Liam every day since, and my brain has consistently been enlarged.  A lot of things I let slide before...felt so egregious to me that I had to say them.  I’ve been confronting my own internalized prejudices towards certain kinds of bodies all the time, and I am learning every day.  He’s become a very dear friend of mine, and I care deeply about him.

This also came at I guess you could say the “first climax” of my journey with weight loss, which I had never had success with despite the trauma I described in Part 4.  I’ve lost...a significant amount of weight since March, and I think the reason I’ve had so much success is 1) the support of my friends (notably @nonbinary-recipehs, @pocket-prompto, and @chubbyargentum), and 2) not feeling like I hated myself anymore.  I approached it as a journey to become more strong, not less fat.  As I outlined in Part 4...Prompto’s Brotherhood episode and character backstory were and are legitimately triggering to me, and, I imagine, to many others.  Liam had the confidence to put the content in the world that he wished to see, and this essay is helping me do the same.  

Having other people who share your marginalized experiences and validate them...well, I’m sure many of you know.  It’s a feeling like no other.  And I’ve never really had this feeling explicitly about the experience of being fat until now.  Now, I understand that my anger is in fact, righteous.  And I am not afraid to say so.  The power of shared experience motivated this essay and, in fact, everything that I do on this blog.  I have come away from this AU with the bravery to say aloud what I have always known to be true.   

So thank you, Liam.  Thank you, big brain group.  And thank you, readers, for listening to an experience that may or may not mirror your own, and for opening up your heart enough to hear the roughly 5000 words before this point.  Thank you for making the effort to understand, and the effort to learn and grow.

TL;DR

I did promise to provide an easily digestible version of the…(checks word count) ~5000 words before this point, so here we go.  The central thesis of this essay is something like “the way Prompto’s weight loss arc was portrayed in Brotherhood is horrendously fatphobic for a number of reasons.”  I then broke it down into six major pieces: the first four being the fact that weight loss is treated as moral by the narrative, the uncharacteristically dickish actions of Noctis, the fact that Prompto’s disorder is encouraged by other characters, and the out-of-universe triggering effects the story has.  In the fifth piece, I outlined two alternative scenarios: one where Prompto doesn’t lose weight at all and remains fat, and one where he does lose weight but healthily so and fleshes out his character.  In the final piece, I explained the motivation behind writing this essay, namely interacting with other fat fans like @chubbyargentum.  I explained all of these points in great detail, being careful to stress that my issue with this isn’t any of the individual characters, but the bias that motivates the writing.

So...what now?  Well, I’m not really sure.  But this was something I really had to put into the world.  I think it is important and necessary to speak up and criticize media that harms you.  And you know what?  Final Fantasy XV is still my favorite game.  It is because I love it so much that I was motivated to write this, and by sharing it, I hope to contribute to a greater discussion about fatphobia in gaming, and in life.

[stiles-o-dylan24]

Hi! So I love your IABY series and now the spin-off is like my new favorite thing! I've been going back and forth for a while now about whether or not I should start my own Teen Wolf rewrite, and I was just wondering how you did it? Like did you watch each episode multiple times or use a transcript of the show? Thank you!!! And love your writing!!!!

Okay so first off THANK YOU so much bby!

It makes me so unbelievably happy that you loved IABY and the new series, plus my writing?! 

fnjfbdhdjfjsjdjjsjxhsjdsjdhfiuwhfdwjnf

Your support is everything, hunny, so truly thank you!!

Alright I’m going to add a keep reading cut and answer your rewrite questions below it because as we all know I’m quite chatty and my process was a doozy so here we go–

So to begin, yay starting your own rewrite! It is such a process that is so much fun and rewarding and I’m so glad I did it. 

The first bit of advice I can give you is to prepare yourself for how much work does go into it. There’s 100 episodes and depending on the character you’re creating they could be in a lot of the scenes throughout the whole series. However even with that being said, do try to not only look at it as 100 episodes otherwise you’ll psych yourself out. 

It does truly go by quicker than you think it will and it’s such a fun process that it never really felt daunting to get to the finish until season 6 when there wasn’t a lot of interaction on my chapters because let’s face it everyone loves Stiles and there was only so much I could do with that fucking season. 

I specifically chose for Addy to be Scott’s sister because I wanted her to be in the whole series and in as many scenes as possible to really make it seem like she was always in canon and not just put there because I needed a character to be there.

So why that’s important goes into how you reshape the scenes to fit your character into. 

I’ve read a few rewrites where the author obviously didn’t think about that and it really showed making it just feel forced and not enjoyable to read. 

I know I view rewrites differently than most people but to me, if you’re going to take on a rewrite that means you’re altering canon, at least a little bit, for the story to make sense for a new character like they were there all along. So why not change relationships and morph the story to include someone who in my opinion was definitely missing from the show? 

So once you have a good idea of the relationships you want your character to have it’ll make how you alter the script easier.

Do not make the mistake I made for the first season and only watch the episodes pausing every few seconds to copy down the lines! lol that took forever and when I finally had the thought that ‘hey I bet there’s fucking transcripts out there’ I was quite upset at myself that it took me 12 episodes to figure it out 😅

I got the transcripts from here however be very warned that:

Sometimes, especially in season 3, who they have saying the line is not always correct.

Sometimes the line itself is not quite correct to what was actually said

Sometimes the website goes away and there’s no data on the page

So for that last bullet point I do suggest copying every episode into a separate google doc. Yes it takes some time however it’s so worth it to not have to go back and worry about the webpage being down when you’re starting season 4 (Yes that happened to me and when the page came back up I copied the rest of the series into docs)

It copies the entire episode script into one big paragraph so you have to go through and space it out properly however I used that opportunity to watch the episode as I was doing that and I would take out scenes that obviously Addy couldn’t be in– though in the same point to that I would keep scenes that I felt were necessary to keep the story together and I would need to write those in a different POV or a ‘Story time’ retold by Addy like in the beginning scene of 1x11.

To me, keeping the story well described was really important and I actually had a few people who hadn’t finished watching the series continue to read IABY so I really had to make sure I kept the story in there as much as I could with little summaries to what was happening in scenes Addy wasn’t in so they would be able to follow what the hell was happening. 

I mean we’ve all, for the majority, watched the whole series and know what’s happening, but you’re writing a story– why not have it flow as smoothly as if someone was actually watching the series?

So once I had the layout of the script I would then go in and write the scenes as best as I could remember them since I had just watched the episode as I was formatting the script layout. 

Once I had the scenes done that way, I would then watch the episode again and read through what I had, adding in more actions from the characters/facial expressions that were missing to really make the scene flow more realistically.

That process really worked for me and I felt like was the most time efficient to getting through an episode. 

Remember to have fun with it! You’re telling your story for you more than anyone. You feel like something is missing and this is your opportunity to write something you will want to read.

Yes the interaction is fun and helps you get through the moments of is this worth it, however you also need to write for you. Create something you will want to read to fill that space in your mind of what’s missing when you’re watching the show/reading other people’s rewrites.

Again this is all just my advice and is to be taken with a grain of salt. You need to do things in a way that works for you! What I did was really beneficial to me and my work schedule plus my mindset for what I wanted to bring to my rewrite. It may not work for you so if it doesn’t just be patient with yourself and you’ll find your way. 

How I wrote in the first two seasons drastically changed from then on. I learned so much about my writing style and I really grew as a person/writer and that alone was so worth all the stress and moments of doubt that I could do this well.

I hope if you do choose to do this that you have so much fun! Also I am here if you need anything-- to vent, run ideas by, a beta reader, literally anything. 

I also want to be tagged in your series as well🤗

Hopefully through my long ramble of a message I answered your questions or gave you some form of insight. If I did not or you still have more questions please don’t hesitate to send me another message!

[rwbyconversations]

Why Emerald and Mercury’s scene in Lost is one of the best scenes in all of RWBY

Lost is a really underappreciated episode in Volume 6. It tends to get overlooked because Dead End precedes it and that’s easily the weakest episode of the season, while right afterwards we get the three-parter of the Argus Battle and Adam’s return meant focus was shifted for a hot minute. But I adore this episode, nearly every second of it barring some choices at the end (barring Oscar getting shafted for development- again- and Ruby’s oddball speech of “we didn’t need adults this far” to Qrow), but it’s honestly one of the best episodes of the season in my eyes, and that falls down to one major scene- Emerald and Mercury’s conversation in the first third of the episode, which is one of my favorite scenes in all of RWBY.

I know when people think of character arcs involving Lost they tend to go for the obvious lure of the Pyrrha statue, which, to be fair, is a really solid character moment and I loved a lot about it- especially the small reference to the Volume 1 OP of Jaune looking at the statue, it’s framed with almost the exact same camera angle. But as someone who mains my two murder kids, I cannot stress how hyped up I was going into Lost. Finally, after years of being relegated to background fodder with their one big moment since Volume 3 being their humiliating appearance at Haven where Emerald took a literal dive and Merc was left holding an arm like a numbnuts, Lost was gonna give me the content I’d been waiting for.

The fact that Merc and Em were getting the thumbnail- something neither of them had been in since Volume 3- was something that made my goddamn day when the thumbnail went up on VRV

And ultimately, I think the scene delivered, and delivered with a gusto that makes me unironically call it one of the best scenes of the Volume, one of the best of the show, in fact- and today I’d like to explain why I love Emerald and Mercury’s scene in Volume 6 Chapter 9, Lost.

1) The establishing context, or: a quick breakdown of Merc and Em in V6C4 

Merc and Em had one scene earlier this volume, in Chapter 4, “So That’s How It Is.” It chronicles them and Hazel returning from Mistral several weeks after the Battle of Haven, Hazel having contacted Little Miss Malachite and gotten the heads up on where RWBY were going next. Spirits are low as they leave the ship, and an unexpected welcoming party in Tyrian doesn’t lift the mood. Emerald in particular lashes out at Tyrian when he mockingly notices Cinder’s absence, which just gives him all the motivation he needs to get up in Emerald’s personal space and mock her for her weakness. 

Fun fact, in the Volume 6 trailer, Tyrian creeping on Emerald happens in Salem’s conference room, presumably to throw people off the scene on when the scene would be happening. 

Tyrian proves to be as sharp as his dearly-departed stinger (now resting in Ruby’s cabinet of Maimed Body Parts), mocking Emerald in a delightfully chilling voice that “Cinder isn’t here to protect you anymore.” You know who is though? 

This asshole, that’s who. Mercury fucking Black, finally showing the spine he lost after Volume 3 and getting up in Tyrian’s grill to protect Emerald. He even got his eyebrows back just for the occasion! 

Never forget Volume 4 and Merc’s penciled-on eyebrows

It’s a short but sweet scene that sets up the duo’s dynamic well- they’ve really only got each other out in Evernight so even if they bicker... a lot... Merc and Em will watch each other’s backs because it’s that or deal with Tyrian, Watts and most importantly Salem alone. And that’s not a thought either of them truly want to consider. 

The rest of the Evernight scene in chapter 4 has some small but important moments for them- I especially love Mercury being the first person we see realizing Salem’s about to snap because of his abusive father. If anyone’s gonna know how to read the room and know to get out of dodge before the glass starts shattering, it’ll be him. How he just stands at attention, eyes locked forward when everyone else looks at Salem is also a nice subtle bit of character- eyes forward, since he was probably told not to move without permission. Emerald’s sheer terror for much of the debriefing is just a masterclass in animation- her eyes are these narrow pinpricks that can’t focus on a single spot, she cringes in anticipation of a slap when she rats out Cinder (gee it’s almost as if Cinder is her abuser who conditioned her or something why do people still ship them), how she flinches when Salem touches her shoulder and only relaxes when Salem moves on and reveals that Cinder’s alive. It’s all just great stuff for their characters that you get from looking at their body language. 

That’s all that we see of Mercury and Emerald until chapter 9, and unfortunately the last we see of them from there until the post-credits scene, but fortunately, this is a real doozy of a scene. 

2) The actual scene

We open with Merc and Em alone in a room, Emerald bitterly noting how much she hates being kept in the dark about Salem’s future plans. Mercury agrees, stopping some training to note that at least Cinder kept them up to speed, before resuming his combat. 

Mercury and Yang are two of the easier foils to compare and contrast to in the series, especially in the RWBY/CRME contrasts between Ruby/Cinder, Weiss/Emerald, Blake/Roman and later Adam and Yang/Mercury. Both are close range fights with firearms strapped to their limbs of choice, both have cybernetic limbs and as we learn later this episode, both had fathers with wildly differing views on their Semblances. But something else that connects them is that neither Mercury or Yang stay down for long when they get knocked out. Yang lost her arm and once she got back on her feet, she updated her fighting style to be more acrobatic and all-around, which paid off in dividends when she got to fight Adam and was able to move around his strikes. Similarly, the first time we see Mercury get some free time after Haven, he’s training... except he’s working on his fists, since he was overly reliant on his legs until now. I like this, it would have been easy to have Mercury just working on his legs or even just doing nothing but not only does it give the conversation a more lively feel, but it shows that Mercury is working on covering his weaknesses. And if there’s one thing Mercury hates, it’s leaving a weakness uncovered.

Your daily reminder that Yang vs Mercury is some of the best choreography in the show BTW

Emerald, seemingly out of boredom, decides to pry a bit and asks Mercury why he came with Cinder and Emerald in the Volume 3 flashback. I’ve seen some people criticize that Emerald is only asking this now, but given how when she tried to object to Cinder she got a slap for her troubles, I think it’s safe to say she decided it wasn’t worth Cinder’s wrath a second time for asking too many questions about Mercury. 

Mercury tries deflecting with a simple answer “Just made sense,” to which Emerald calls bullshit with one of the most deadpan-laden lines she’s ever uttered. “It ‘made sense.’” 

Mercury decides to keep up that path, trying to cover the question with his usual sarcasm and wit. It’s notable that his explanation gives nothing away that Emerald didn’t already know- Marcus trained Mercury to be an assassin, Mercury killed him and right afterwards, Cinder showed up. It’s almost clinical how, despite covering it with his usual wit, Mercury doesn’t let anything slip until Emerald gets under his skin by calling bullshit again, since to her that Mercury joined Cinder for as shallow a reason as “right place right time” is anathema to her- there has to be something in this for Mercury beyond just getting to fight. Mercury again deflects, giving Emerald knowledge she already knows- “Salem’s promised us everything. We win this thing, we’ll be top dogs in her new world.” Again, he’s only telling her what she already knows, and when he asks her what she gets out of this, Mercury manages to throw Emerald off the scent and tricks her into talking about herself- a topic Mercury enjoys because it means he’s not the one under the microscope. 

Something I adore and hate in equal measure is how musically when Emerald talks about Cinder, the score itself changes to a more whimsical version of Cinder’s theme- as if Emerald’s using her Semblance on the soundtrack itself to paint Cinder in a better light. 

Also something worth noting is the lighting symbolism for Emerald in the first part of this scene:

She starts in darkness, surrounded by light.

When Mercury gets a rise out of her, she walks out into the light to confront him, but Mercury moves into the darkness, a barrier separating them. But when Emerald begins talking about Cinder...

The camera pans to put Emerald back into darkness. This scene is loaded with this kind of symbolism on a lighting and musical level, the two dancing around the edges of light and dark, separated usually by the barriers that form from the overhead light.

Regardless, Mercury is perfectly fine to let Emerald prattle on about Cinder, right up until Emerald begins having a crisis of conscience. Not one based on how Cinder used her to stage a terrorist attack, no. Mercury butts in when Emerald’s crisis of conscience is based on how now that Cinder isn’t here, Emerald isn’t sure if they’re doing the right thing. And thus Mercury’s fandom finally got to see the scene they had been waiting years for: Mercury telling Emerald Cinder doesn’t care for them. Emerald gets angry, still caught up in the web of lies that Cinder spun around her, but Mercury doesn’t give a solitary shit about any of that and keeps saying things Emerald doesn’t want to hear- that Cinder never cared about Emerald, let alone either of them. 

I absolutely adore how the ever-present smirk on Mercury’s face just melts off while he’s trying to get Emerald to realize Cinder never cared for them- either because he’s done playing nice or because he’s trying to stress to Emerald that he’s not messing around, just this once.

Mercury’s mocking line to Emerald finally sets her off, and she charges him furiously, trying to beat him into shutting up. But it doesn’t work- of course it wouldn’t, Mercury is leagues above Emerald in skill even if she uses her weapons, going in without them is tantramount to suicide. This guy danced around Coco and Yatuhashi and gave Yang and Pyrrha good fights while deliberately throwing both fights. Beating Emerald would take less than a minute if he tried. But he doesn’t. Mercury never actually hits Emerald, focusing on just blocking her blows. It’s only when Mercury finally decides to stop giving Emerald information she already knows and actually give her some honest truth that he begins trying, and immediately Emerald is forced back. But even then, Mercury throws his kicks. Compared to the ones he threw in training they’re sluggish, easily predicted. He’s not trying to hurt Emerald, he’s just stressing his point. 

Literal chills went down my back when I heard that line the first time, Yuri killed it.

Mercury basically decides to throw his abuse in Emerald’s face, which I’ve seen some people deride and describe as Mercury basically playing the victim card, but I think this is perfectly in-character for him. Emerald’s locked in her cycle of abuse with Cinder, even though the bitch is on another continent and now is the perfect time for Emerald to break free, to get out before Cinder maims her like Marcus did Mercury... and she’s not. Taking. The chance. Of course Mercury would be pissed, of course he’d get heated for the first time- he’s basically watching Emerald squander one of the only chances she has to get out of this life before Cinder catches her again, and he (and the audience) know if Cinder gets her hands on Emerald again, that’ll be it; Emerald will be ride or die for Cinder all the way to the finish line due to her paternal/romantic love. If it takes Mercury being this most callous and blunt he’s ever been to finally get Emerald to see the truth or even just to make sure where she draws her battlelines, then he’ll do whatever it takes. 

As we get an orchestral reprise of I’m The One, Mercury finally gives us a new hint into his backstory- one of the most fucked up of all the cast according to Kerry- for the first time in three years. Marcus didn’t just beat Mercury senseless, didn’t just excuse it as training and potentially even cut off Mercury’s legs to refine him into a perfect killer- he stole Mercury’s Semblance with his own, seeing it as a crutch that Mercury relied on and holding it over his head with the promise of its return once Mercury got strong. To quote the normally Unirkable Merc himself, “So I got strong, but I never got it back!” 

Mercury forced himself to get on the level of titans like Pyrrha and Yang without having the safety net of a Semblance like they have- he got strong in spite of his father, not because of Marcus taking his power from him. But that power- that strength that lets him fight at a skill ceiling beyond what Marcus likely thought possible, destroyed this young child. It stole from Mercury, things that he can never get back- a literal piece of his soul was taken from him and the thrill of the fight is the only thing he’s ever found that can fill the hole. That confidence is earned because Mercury was defiled by his father and spat in the face of destiny, he chose to get back up and try and earn back what was rightfully his. And when he got the strength to kill his abuser and burn his house down, just to realize he couldn’t get that power back? In walked Cinder Fall, looking for another lost youth to corrupt and twist the worldview of- and here was one such youth, with all the corruption done complete with a neat little bow on top. 

All of this- all of this- goes without mentioning how not two volumes prior we had a different character go through an arc involving her Semblance and a father figure teaching her how to control it and not let it control her. 

I’m just saying guys if you still wanna live in denial over Yang and Merc’s foil status and how they’d be the coolest rivals in the show, door’s right there, I’m gonna be here eagerly awaiting their proper rematch (Fuck off and die Volume 5, you mountain of wasted potential). 

The kicker (pun not intended) is Mercury’s line at the end of the training with Emerald- “I’m right where I’m supposed to be,” he confidently declares, absolutely sure in himself. The whole dynamic of the scene has been Mercury and Emerald calling bullshit on each other’s excuses, with Mercury dominating once he got Emerald to play the Cinder card. But he gets so caught up in his rage over how he got defiled by Marcus, that he loses sight for a second and forgets that he’s lying to himself as much as Emerald- the difference is he’s gone thought he cycle before and seen it so he can see that Emerald’s in it, but he hasn’t yet realized he’s gotten caught in a different cycle and still can’t see the trees from the forest. Denial is a recurring trait in Mercury and Emerald, and one neither of them are ever truly free from (”Salem promised us everything,” like how Marcus promised you back your Semblance, Mercury?). Emerald attacking Mercury after he mocks her “crisis of identity” can almost be taken as her subconsciously agreeing with Merc that Cinder doesn’t care, but after all she’s done for Cinder, everyone she’s hurt and helped kill, the idea that it was all for less than nothing is something she’s got to run away from- the alternative is just too nightmarish.

Mercury “I’m right where I’m supposed to be” Black, ladies and gents. He’s feeling really confident in these scenes, can’t you tell?! 

And who sees this and realizes it, but none other than Tyrian fucking Callows of all people. And of all the people in Salem’s castle, who expected him to be an adept armchair psychologist? Tyrian is blunt, completely unforgiving in his assessment of Mercury and Emerald- they’re trapped in a cycle of violence, pain and misery, and they’re too afraid of what’s on the other side to ever leave it- what’s waiting for Mercury out in the world of Remnant? All he can do is kill, and now that he’s burned his bridges with Huntsmen society, all he’d wind up doing is assassination work like father like son. Granted, Tyrian being the one to break this down to them both is... ironic given how Tyrian himself is trapped in Salem’s web of devotion and has been for so long he couldn’t find his way out if he wanted to, but here he raises a valid point. 

After this the scene mostly moves away from Mercury and Emerald and becomes Tyrian informing them and the audience that Watts and Tyrian are going to Atlas to intercept RWBY, but before he leaves, Tyrian leaves some parting advice.

“Do what makes you happy children, please? I’m begging you.” 

Reading through the mile-wide lines, it’s obvious Tyrian wants them to run so he can hunt them down himself, even though he denies telling them they should leave earlier when Emerald asks point-blank if he’s telling them to go (of course he isn’t saying that, he wants them to come to the conclusion himself, no fun stalking prey when the hunt’s made easy for you after all). But the scene ends with a somewhat more optimistic note.

Emerald and Mercury, still unsure about a lot of things after this group therapy session, are still standing together, almost more unified than they were before now- no barriers of light and darkness separating the two now. And that should be something that terrifies anyone who crosses their paths, especially the guy who made a point to T-Bag Mercury and basically promise he’ll draw the straw on killing them if they stray out of line. 

3) Conclusion

Mercury and Emerald are my favorite characters in the show, and while that’s been a bit harder to maintain in the Dark Times of Volumes 4 and 5 where they got nothing to do, 6 reminded me and a lot of other people why they’re the characters to keep an eye on in future years. They have these wonderfully dark backstories that let them serve as haunting foils for two members of team RWBY each (Emerald and Ruby and Weiss, Mercury for Blake and Yang) that show how far things could have gone if the RWBY girls had been born with a bit less luck. On top of all that, I’m The One is just a killer of a song that excites with its spiteful air, its cockiness only accentuating how horrific these two have had it. 

Mercury and Emerald start the Mistral seasons separated by a barrier (the window) but after their conversation in Lost and time away from Cinder, the barrier’s gone. They’re closer than they were before. And Merc got his eyebrows back too, that’s a sign he started caring about Emerald! 

Their scene in Lost I feel encapsulates a lot of what keeps them together and what makes for one of RWBY’s best dynamics- they don’t really like each other a lot of the time, but they have each other’s back come hell or high water because they need each other like a lifeline. Mercury does, at least a little, genuinely care for Emerald; he goes about it in a dickish way but trying to recognize Cinder’s abusive behavior is one of the most noble things he’s done all show. And while Emerald did try to attack him, he goaded her into it and she was indignant with rage when Tyrian pinned Merc down. Everything about the scene just works for me, from the small musical cues (alongside the return of I’m The One and Cinder’s theme, I love how right before Emerald attacks Mercury, this beeping starts and then accelerates into this droning sound like a flatline, which really captures Emerald’s temper reaching fever pitch and then snapping, to the lighting symbolism (Merc and Em both begin the scene in darkness but come together in the light at the end after Tyrian leaves, alongside everything I said above) and of course, Katie Newville and Yuri Lowenthal both knocking it out of the park with a home run of a performance, alongside Josh Grelle being his usual self when Tyrian shows up. While it was overshadowed by Jaune’s scene with the Pyrrha statue, I’d be very comfortable marking Emerald and Mercury’s spotlight scene in Lost as not just a highlight of the season, but one of the best scenes of the entire show. Everything came together for this ambrosia of a scene, and I can only hope I sold how much it means to me and how much I appreciate the work that went into it on a technical, writing, animation, acting and musical level. 

Keep an eye on Merc and Em is all I’m saying, and if you’ve written them off in the past, I hope this convinced you to take another look at them and hope they get their due time to shine in future. 

Thank you for reading. 

[yoshimickster]

RWBY Volume 6 Episode 7 “The Grimm Reaper” MicksteRecap-BEHOLD THE NICE BACKGROUNDS!

Hey everybody, last night’s Christmas party was a DOOZY, sorry I’m late-TIME FOR THE MICKSTERECAP!

IT STARTS OFF-

-THE SANCTUARY of the spring relic...which...Salem can just enter any time she wants apparently! Man, maiden powers AND a secret hideout, that’s awesome!

Hell, she can even invite FRIENDS inside! Just get some chairs, a TV and surround sound, you’ll have a chill pad!

Either way Cinder gives Neo the low-down about how Salem ordered Cinder to take Ruby alive NOT dead-ALL WHILE-

2:58 ...she...plays with her knife, like a total creep! I ain’t judging, we all gotta stim from time to time.

Anyway, Cinder tells Neo that while she can’t kill Ruby, NEO hasn’t taken ANYONE’S orders, and then the two become best murder friends forever!

Because we ALL KNOW how well the LAST time Cinder made a deal with a recurring antagonist...also holy crap Neo’s tiny, she’s like a murderous Felicity Smoak!

A THEN CUT TO-

3:38 THE BRIDGE FROM EVERY SAMURAI STORY! Don’t lie, you got Samurai Jack flashbacks to. It is HERE WE SEE-

-absoLUTE cosplay bait! LOOK AT THAT-its glorious!

And you just KNOW what’s comin’ next folks-

4:20 ONE ON ONE MONSTER FIGHT BITCHES!

Maria starts out with a bridge back-flip-

THEN-does a gun-scythe-kama toss-

-AND LANDS THAT SHIT IN THE SHOULDER-but wait-THERE’S MORE!

SHE FLICKS THE PURPLE SWITCH-oh Mauvisto we fear your dark power-WHICH TURNS OUT TO BE-

-MAGNETIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC SCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYTHES-bitch! Most likely due to gravity dust! She then uses it to FLOAT HER ASS up to the bird!

“I’M MARY POPPINS Y’ALL!”

She SPINS IN for a shoulder strike-

AND LANDS-in the shoulder! Lot of shoulder strikes with this bird.

She then steers it through the anime mountains-

THROWS-one of her kamas-IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AIR-

-creating what LOOKS like a fixed point of gravity-

-PULLS back her weapons forcing the bird into a quick-stop turn, STEERING THAT FUCKER-

-RIGHT INTO A MOUNTAIN! FUCK YES-pro Huntresses rule! She also LANDS that bitch-

-RIGHT INTO A DITCH! RHYMING!

She then pulls one of her kmas out and everything is fine-OR IS IT?!

Nevermore: Hey.

Maria: Oh...hey.

Nevermore: Whatcha doin?

Maria: OH-I was just going to leave.

Nevermore: That’s nice, but how about I eat you instead?

Maria tries zigging and zagging-BUT-

4:56 It knocks both her weapon-

AS WELL AS HER! She’s only got ONE OPTION-

VAGUELY EXPLAINED MAGICAL SUPERPOWER GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

5:09 DAMN-petrified and then crumpled in MID-air!

After that kerfuffle, Maria than just goes on her merry way-

Tock: SURPRISE BITCH-I’m a crocodile!

We are then treated to one of the shortest...and MOST epic action exchanges of ALL time! Which starts out with THIS-

Maria: I don’t think you know who I am.

Tock: Course I do!

Clock: *Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind-DING!*

Tock: YOUR the Grim reaper! 

AND YES-there are screws in her croco-teeth, don’t question it, its just awesome.

Tock: And THESE are the last 60 seconds of your life.

*SHING*

6:10*GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW*

And yes, the action scene ends exactly SIXTY seconds after she starts glowing, AS WELL as the clock stopping sixty seconds after it officially started and its absolutely brilliant-TO THE FIGHT-

6:13-Tock starts with a straightforward slash-BUT Grimm Reaper Maria blocks it like a boss-BUT-

6:16 -TOCK knocks away one of her mini-scythes-BUT MARIA-

-NOT ONLY gravetizes her other scythe back to her-

-BUT WHILE BLOCKING SHOTGUN CHARLIE-damn she was great in her prime. THEN-

-she slashes Machete Jackson RIGHT in the face-

6:27 Knocks away BOTH of these punks-

6:30 While knocking Hammer Armond down-LIKE A BOSS! BUT THEN-

6:31 TOCK comes in with the double slash, grinning like a mad woman.

Jackson and Tock get the jump on her, one zigs, the other zags, PROMPTING MARIA TO ACTIVATE-

6:44 BO-STAFF MODE-now it has DOUBLE the attack power!

She goes in striking Jackson-

-BUT TOCK-gets up close and personal-

6:47

And in a SPLIT second-

JACKSON’S back up and tag-teams Maria with Tock...wait, not like that.

Maria knocks back Jackson again, she zigs, Tock zags, LOTSA ZIGGING AND ZAGGIN UP IN THIS

ALL THE WHILE-the same tick-tick ticking is going on-OOOH-its like a Venture bros scene!

Maria looks like she’s got the upper hand-BUT TOCK-

6:56 BITES THE FUCK THROUGH her battle staff-

6:57 HEADBUTTS AWAY-her mask-

-where it SHATTERS in mid-air, holy SHIT! ALSO-Maria is pretty-HUZZAH!

Either way this LEADS TOCK-

7:01 -to slash her GOD DAMNED eyes open! All. Within. 60. SECONDS! HOLY SHIT!

Tock high off her victory then starts gloating to the no de-eyed Grimm reaper, mocking her as weak while Maria blindly shoots her gun-scythes-WHILE ALSO-

-throwing one of her weapons behind her, which Tock isn’t worried about at all...for some reason.

*CLICK*

*KER-SLASH* Dead...presumably.

Never doubt the power of purple folks.

8:04 FLASH FORWARD to the present, where everyone in the cart being pulled by a SINGLE motorcycle deals with the fact that they were travelling with THE Grimm Reaper this whole time. Seriously Qrow straight up geeks out a little to, admitting he based his scythe on her weapon...well...just the scythe apparently, also his gun is more of a shot-gun where as hers seemed more like glocks AH whatever.

Maria than gives herself a BIG OLD pity party, mentioning that even after she got her new fancy robot eyes she couldn’t bare to go back out into the field, fearing the danger that comes with battle and...I KNOW she’s clearly going to be Ruby’s mentor, but I ALSO hope she bonds with Yang as well, as holy SHIT she’s similar to Yang.

Both lost appendages during battle, both had said appendages replaced with mechanical accouterments, and BOTH are hilarious! HELL for wall we know Maria also had an almost-girlfriend who ran out on her, another almost girlfriend who got shipped off to Narnia, and a little sister who kept battling because CRIME! 

Hell, she PRACTICALLY acknowledges it-

9:11 Maria: Because some of you are clearly stronger than me all ready.

Yang: *Sad ephiphany face*.

DAMN am I glad she’s part of the group!

After Maria avoids Ruby’s plea to train her to use her magical Grimm zapping super eyes-WE GETS A SCROLL CALL-

Jaune: OH MY GOD I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU ARE YOU ALIVE?!

Ruby: I answered the SCROLL Jaune, the answer is clearly yes.

Jaune: I just miss my friends.

-INFORMING THEM ALL-that they are RIGHT CLOSE TO-

10:20 BASINGSE-I mean-THE WALLED CITY OF ELDIA-wait not...ARGUS-yeah Argus! But FIRST Team RWBYQOM needs to FACE-

-THE STEEPEST HILL ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET! I mean...LOOK AT THAT THING-its huge! Also I love the design of the trees and the grass, its just beautiful!

BUT-through the magic of television-

-THEY’RE ALL READY THERE! Seriously I bet it took them like TWO hours inching down that path. I know construction is always lax in Remnant due to Grimm attacks, but someone NEEDS to make that path safer!

But enough about that-BEHOLD-

-THIS CASTLE WALL-with lots of armed guards on the top! No Titan is gonna sneak up on the city on THEIR watch!

But enough abou that-ITS HUG TIME:

And a billion shippers hearts, just exploded. 

After the love fest, we get-ARGUS SCENERY THROUGH WORLD-BUILDING:

Look at all this, Rooster Teeth’s background budget got WAY bank and they are FLAUNTING that wealth!

This Objects and Oddities lady is my favorite, she’s just SO pissed off, I wander why?

We also see-

-A MOVIE THEATER-showing such brand spanking new films, INCLUDING-

TRYST IN THE MIST-a raunchy tale about a romantic affair that takes place IN THE MIST! Given 4 stars by “Incredibly specific affair based movie” monthly!

...a...MOVIE within a movie apparently...weird.

DEMON IN THE DEEP-one of several monster movies that SOMEHOW exist on Earth-RWBY. I’m just saying, with all the REAL monster attacks, wouldn’t monster movies seem insensitive? SPEAKING of insensitive-

THE FALL...of Beacon...I know I’m not the first to say this but too soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.

So bla bla bla, Argus was made to promote trade between kingdoms, bla bla bla, Atlas military has all but abandoned it bla bla bla-LET’S MEET JAUNE’S SISTER!

LOOK AT HER! FEEL-her youthful and adorable mom energy!

And the REST of the episode is PRETTY MUCH just an assortment of adorable images.

Yang playing airplane with baby Adrien(THE CUTENESS).

THE THREE ARMED-flopping Jaune-IN ALL of its glory!

AN INSULTED BOY-

12:56 -and the women who adore him-

AND ALL THE ARC SIBLINGS:

Okay I don’t know HOW many fan-artists are left on Tumblr due to the incoming purge, but I want some ADORABLE web-comics based on this STAT! LOOK AT MINI-JAUNE-he’s so CUTE! And just when you things couldn’t get ANY better-

13:22

Sapphron: Everyone, this is my wife Terra Cotta.

BAM-twenty gay-TEEN mother fuckers!

SUBTLE-Renora sandwich time! Look at these two, YOUNG LOVE mother fuckers!

But more importantly Terra asks THE REAL questions-

Terra: Is that (Bringing students along on dangerous Huntsman missions) even legal?

Qrow: Er, uh, of course!

And I just...LOVE that both Maria and Ruby have the exact same looks on their faces, their both thinking “The closest thing we have to a real chaperone is a bipolar alcoholic...this is what my life has become”.

After a nice little sandwich lunch, and learning that Terra Cotta-Arc is a hardworking radio engineer being unjustly accused of bad mistakes(if there’s ANYONE to blame its Lionheart), while team RWBY decides the best way to GO to Atlas is with the LOCAL MILITARY BASE-which I’m sure will accept them with OPEN AR-

SLAM

Ooooooooooooooooooor not. Hey, its only HALF way through the season, they gots PLENTY of time!

SUMMATION-this easily had one of the BEST action sequences of the ENTIRE season, the backgrounds were BEAUTIFUL and there were just so many cute scenes-TEN OUT OF TEN for me! AND WITH THAT-that’s the end of MICKSTERECAP-if you liked what you read, message me if you want to donate to my Paypal or Ko-Fi. With that I will see you NEXT WEEK-on Mick the Nerd’s a.k.a. Yoshimickster’s MICKSTERECAP! Sorry this one was a bit late!

[someplace-that-is-else]

‘Well, Fuck...’: How I Fell into SyFy’s THE MAGICIANS’

 SyFy had let me down way too many times.

 From Sliders to Farscape to that one season of Incorporated, the SyFy (used to be Sci-fi) was a channel that was littered with the ‘bodies’ of cancelled sci-fi/fantasy tv shows. Now silly B-movies and wrestling on the other hand…yay, baby!!! Allow me to roll my eyes at a channel for sci-fi that did not cater to it. Eventually…SyFy tried again to focus on what it should when it started…SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY!!!

 So it was with hesitation that I attempted to even watch any show on that channel. I had heard or seen ads for THE EXPANSE and THE MAGICIANS. However, I did not really have an interest.

 I sat at home one Wednesday night. And oh, look!! It happened to be on. Well…I guess I was curious enough to look at this ‘Harry Potter crossed over with Narnia’ tale. Anyone who knew me knew that I was an uberNarnia fan. So perhaps I might be interested.

 The idea was sound. Viewers met Quintin Coldwater as he was re-entering the real world after a tenure in a mental institution. Life was too rough for this 20something year old. Not helped by his love…some might call it obsession with a series of fantasy books about a Narniasque world called Fillory. And then he stumbled into a magic school called Brakebills…

 …and found out Fillory…was REAL.

 Mind blown. Like I said it had potential. There was even an assortment of students there…gay guy, sassy best friend girl, the required love interest, the hothead...I believed all tv show character tropes were represented. And the description of the various concentrations of magic were interesting and full of more possibilities. Still…was I sold on the show enough to come back week after week?

 And then…entered the Beast.

When a Show Loses A Good Antagonist: The Magicians Season Two

 Every tv show has to have an antagonist. Any antagonist worth his weight in gold best be an intriguing one. And the Beast…was just that. Stepping out of a mirror after freezing a whole classroom of magicians in place, the Beast was a well-dressed gentleman with six fingers with a swarm of moths where his head should be. As if the visual wasn’t freaky enough, he took down the teacher the Dean of Brakebills…and plucked out his eyes.  

And this was in the last five minutes of the pliot.

 Yeah…mind blown. So, I continued to watch. I watched Quentin have situations that were callouts to things I knew from Narnia. I watched his best friend Julia try to find her own way to magic after being rejected by Brakebills. I watched all kinds of hijinks occur over that first season as the characters were fleshed out and it looked like the students were on a collision course with the Beast who was bond and determined to kill Quentin.

 Then I lost track of the show.

☹

 Eventually I got around to watching all that I missed about THE MAGICIANS. I had heard about how Season 1 and Season 2 ended in passing. However, I had not seen it for myself. Meanwhile, Season 3 was some way off. Thanks to the library…pun unintended…I got to see it for myself.

 Season 2…was meh. I loved the fact that Season 2 introduced Greek mythology into this already complicated fantasy design. I loved that the show grew darker. Not that it was not already dark with the Julia arc…wanting revenge for her rape that got another character…a fan fave at that…killed. But speaking of antagonist…let’s talk about the rapist…Reynard the Fox, trickster god.

 On the good side, it was through him that Greek mythology was introduced into the show. Fine actor for sure playing the character. However, compared to the Beast…Reynard was a lightweight. Worse he was two dimensional versus the complexity that the Beast was over the course of Season 1 as the origin of who the Beast was revealed itself. Bonus, the story of the Beast…which was the main plot arc for Quentin…converged with Julia’s plot arc by the end of Season 1, leading to a team up between the Beast and Julia that promised that Season 2 was not going to be meh.

 Then the Beast was killed.

 Very early in Season 2, the Beast was done away with. And what followed was a very uneven show IMO. It was like the writers could not figure out the balance between what was going on in Fillory which became more centered in Season 2 and what was going on in the normal world at Brakebills. And while this was all going on Reynard was the main villain. Complexity gave way to…??

 Like I said…any antagonist worth his weight in gold for a tv show should be an intriguing one. And Reynard was anything but. Even with the introduction of Greek mythology. And by the time of the intro, it was too little, too late near the end of the Season Two. Yeahhhh…no. I thought I would be done with the show. Nothing really was interesting me.

 And then came the twist.

 A Hero’s Journey in More Ways Than One: The Magicians Season Three

  What was the twist? Well, the gang killed a god. The punishment? The gods’ parents turned off magic. No magic meant end of show, right? WRONG!!!

 And so began the Quest of the Seven Keys. Seven keys that would be used at the end of the world and restore magic.

 And oh, the resulting journey to get there.

 Season 3 one could say the main villain might have been a bait and switch. Going into the season, the main villain appeared to be the Fairies and their fierce Fairy Queen as they continued to give Quentin…especially his friends Elliot and Margo (a fierce magician in her own right)…nothing, but trouble. However, as the season progressed a new villain of a different sort emerged…humans in the form of the MacAllisters family and magicians in the form of the Library. Both wanted magic, but for different reasons. By the end of the season, the Fairies and the Library revealed complexities about themselves that reveal them as excellent antagonists (see above about tv shows and antagonists) for our heroes on their journey to restore magic.

 The MacAllisters…not so much.

 Speaking of our heroes, with such complexities from the bad guys, it was great to see the progress that the main characters were experiencing as well. From Quentin growing assertive in the progress of going on the quest…not to mention exploring his sexual fluidity with Elliot to Julia making amends for past actions resulting in her ascending to goddess status to Elliot and Margo growing into strong, capable leaders of Fillory, the characters were finally growing out of the fantasy tropes they had started off as in Season 1. And the pacing was perfect, with a flow of creative ideas on the way as if the writers had found inspiration themselves in their writing, resulting in some of the best episodes so far.

 I could not believe it. THE MAGICIANS had gone from a meh season to MUST SEE TV. And oh, did I want to see how it would end. Would they truly get magic back? In the end, they did.

 With a twist. Of course. 

 Magic was back. However, the gang was in a bad place by the end. Betrayed by Quentin’s love interest Alice…not to mention the Dean of Brakebills…in a deal with the Library and those evil MacAllisters. And mindwiped into forgetting who they are.

 And did I mention anything about the Monster in the Castle at the End of the World? The Monster who can jump bodies. The Monster Who Wants…and was currently in Elliot’s body? The Monster that NO ONE (but Alice who winded up inprisoned by the Library…long story) remembers?

 Yep. Season Four was going to be a doozy.

 But What Does It Want: The Frustrating Path of THE MAGICIANS Season Four

 The fourth season of THE MAGICANS began some time ago.

 In a few words…slow burn.

 I recalled Season 3 being full of different directions and ideas that converged into a great whole that I could watch over and over again. Season 4 so far was also full of different directions and ideas. However, I had no idea yet where it was going.

 I loved that it was doing unexpected sequels to some of the best episodes from Season 3. However, that could also be seen as worrying. Had the writers peaked at Season 3?

 By the midway point of Season Three, the quest for the seven keys was halfway over. There had been answers given along the way to various character arcs. Villains had started to show layers.

 As of this writing, Season Four was at its midway point. All viewers knew of the Monster was that gods had stolen something from it, and it was piecing itself together. What the pieces meant or even why the gods had done it was still unknown. While a quest to save Elliot was emerging, there had not really been any progressive character development like Season Three had. And the Library, which had emerged as a complex villain in Season Three, was becoming somewhat one dimensional in their attempt to ration out magic. The sense of must see tv had been replaced by a lot of patience.

 Perhaps the mindwipe was resolved too quickly?

 There had been signs that this was all going to change. One of the characters had not forgotten about her life under the mindwipe. In fact, she had had an epiphany. And didn’t epiphanies mean changes would be made? Quentin knew that Elliot was still alive in the Monster…and viewers knew of a never-seen-before conversation between the two about a possible relationship. Meanwhile Julia might not be a goddess anymore…or is she? Hmmm. Not to mention a subplot with the Library involving their head Librarian just might return complexity to them as a good antagonist for our heroes.

 Did someone say revolution for sure?

   #themagicians #scifi #syfychannel #fillory #quentin #julia #complexity #antagonist #gold #thebeast #beast #questofthesevenkeys #mindwipe #library #greekmythology #mythology #renyard #revolution #magic #narnia #harrypotter #chroniclesofnarnia #elliot #margo #sexualfluidity #sliders #farscape #theexpanse #fairyqueen #wellfuck

[buffystylez-blog]

Angel

Written by: David Greenwalt

Directed by: Scott Brazil

Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Alyson Hannigan, Nicholas Brendon, Anthony Head, David Boreanaz, Charisma Carpenter, Julie Benz, and Kristine Sutherland.

Slayerettes, welcome to just past the halfway point. Of season 1. And it is a doozy. There’s leather pants. And leather jackets. And other things. 

It’s a bit of a mixed bag if I’m honest, guys. The plot is A Story but the clothes are B Story.

The Master is back, but who really gives a shit? BECAUSE ANGEL.

Outfit 1

I do love a bit of black crochet. Puts me in mind of an adolescent Stevie Nicks. But with less top hats and more slut straps. But no cocaine, which I think is healthy.

The eyeliner is probably my favourite part of the ensemble now. Winged eyeliner is such a challenge for me. It’s like that guy in Bojack Horseman says, ‘it gets easier, but you gotta do it everyday. That’s the hard part.’ I get it now. I really get it.

Whoever said redheads can’t wear green can shut up now.

Whoever said Xander could leave the house looking good can shut up now.

But thank goodness after last week Xander has gone from attempted rape back to his regular shut-shaming Cordelia for this rather cute number.

Buffy sees Xander’s batshit sense of style and decides it’s time to call it a night.

There’s some unsettling parallels to Twilight, of which this is but one.

Buffy adds a jacket, but because it’s the 90s it’s a strange cut and length and fabric.

This jacket will come back in a future episode about nightmares coming true. That’s... significant.

Buffy lives most of the audience’s dream by inviting Angel in to her home.

This is definitely my favourite look from Angel so far.

The tattoo is... alright, I guess. I’m more critical now I’ve seen a couple of seasons of Inkmaster.

Joyce thinks this much older ‘tutor’ is sketchy AF. Rightly. 

I keep forgetting she’s wearing a halter neck under the crochet. And by forget I mean repress.

Outfit 2

For this unplanned innocent-ish sleepover Buffy’s gone with a cute singlet and I’m guessing shorts or whatever. And a bra.

Outfit 3

This jacket is off somehow. The motto of the late 90s.

Buffy is serving some spunky realness right now.

Willow is serving some adorable realness.

Xander is serving fries and burgers.

I always thought this shift was really cute. The pink ribbon headband is such a nice touch. Is the shift white or a really light blue? I like a pastel pink and blue combo. In my hair. Because that is what my hair currently looks like.

What I don’t like is the daisy trim under her boobs. And it makes me question the pink ribbon. And why he’s still in her bedroom. And why they aren’t making out right now.

KISSING. But also, does that plastic ring really work with this look?

Buffy discovers Angel is a vampire and it. Is. SHOCKING. Sort of. I remember TV Hits spoiling this before the show had even aired in Australia. Which I forgot watching this episode.

Outfit 4

A quick hashtag tbt to Buffy training at school with Giles before she learned Angel’s horrifying secret (that he inspired Stephenie Meyer).

I feel like the pants could be more practical. Also I watch this now wondering how I missed that the stunt double seems taller than Sarah Michelle Gellar.

I could never find these t-shirts in 1997. I can find it now, which is... fine. I guess.

Back to Buffy being fucked with by dudes.

Outfit 5

I thought this was the first time Buffy wore this jacket and it was a definite statement that she was getting rid of Angel. It’s... just because Angel’s bad doesn’t mean his jacket is. I’m pretty sure this is the same jacket she wore with the shift. Maybe Angel was hiding on top of his jacket and she couldn’t get to it.

Willow mixes patterns like nobody’s business. She seems as concerned as me by Buffy’s hair.

Buffy loves a white singlet with bows and a cute graphic. I don’t. But I sure did back then.

Both Willow and Buffy are as confused as I am by Xander’s refusal to dress nice.

Please teach Xander how to do a green patterned shirt  and not be a dickhead.

While the Scooby Gang try to ignore the fact Angel’s not that bad but also, like, a vampire or whatever, Darla is being consistent by wearing a school uniform all of the time. I’m scared to ask where she shops. I don’t think it’s Lowes.

You can’t really see it here but Joyce is textbook Art Gallery Manager right now.

Darla does a thing and it works and Buffy’s mad as hell at Angel. But at the hospital, something wonderful happens.

THIS PAISLEY REVELATION.

Outfit 6

Fuck this lighting, man.

Buffy’s dressed to kill. Gliterally. I’ve been binge-watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

I would've wanted this, looked for it, found it, and been too scared to wear it. I would definitely wear it now, but only if it were a sweater and not a button up.

She’s wearing leather pants and boots but I would not and will never wear leather pants. Too hard to get on and off. It’s bad enough trying to go to the bathroom after swimming in a one-piece. This is too big a challenge. I’m not Wonder Woman.

My criticism of Darla’s previous outfit was that the Peter Pan collar seemed too big. And that it makes her look insane.

Girl knows how to accessorise. I would’ve gone with a high pony. Maybe I just don't have the face for this kind of ‘tail. SMG definitely does.

Angel saves Buffy even though she could have just waited until Darla ran out of bullets and fucked her up, which I find a little annoying. But at the same time I also think it’s a sure sign to Buffy that Angel is ‘not like other vampires.’ 

The Master tells the Annoying One that it’s a big deal for a vampire to kill another vampire. Angel killing Darla, who is his sire or whatever, is his way of saying he’s on Buffy’s side. And also conveniently gets rid of his crazy ex-girlfriend.

Anyway Angel’s a vampire but he’s good, so yay! Sort of. Man, those Gypsies are brutal.

Outfit 7

Seriously, fuck this lighting.

This angle conceals the dumb clips she’s wearing, which is great. It was a dumb clip heavy episode for Buffy.

Angel is so handsome and broody but also creepy but also really hot. But I bet he doesn’t have a paisley scarf.

As a teenage girl I found this episode so romantic and sexy and heartbreaking and watching it now... I feel mostly the same. The kiss at the end still gets me. It really does. One thing season 1 does well is make the monsters of the week a metaphor for what it’s like to be a teenager. And Buffy and Angel’s romance is the perfect example of this. I doff my cap to Whedon.

Is that plastic ring right with this outfit?

Up next, Online Dating is scary. Mostly because of how the technology reminds me that I’m old as hell.

Until next time, Slayerettes.

[the-ghost-of-jason-todd]

things i think about season 4 (or 34 points i feel compelled to make, shoved under a readmore):

1) every named blade except keith and kolivan has died so CONGRATS IF YOUR NAME STARTS WITH K UR SAFE

2) literally shiro has a bayard for the first time in FOUR SEASONS and we couldn’t have even three seconds of coran asking him to show off during their showbiz episode?  literally what the fuck is wrong with y’all

3) they literally fucking wrote keith out of voltron and it makes sense how it happened and it sets him up for a DOOZY of a char arc 

involving him learning his own form of leadership (he was directing those rebel fighters and talking back to kolivan you CAN’T tell me he’s not a good leader after that) (he just wasn’t good at leading voltron) (PROBABLY BECAUSE HE KNOWS HOW MUCH SHIRO NEEDS BLACK) (and also because of how out of place he’s always felt with them RIP)         

........my fucking heart hurts

4) people are saying they don’t like the showbiz ep but like... if you look at the way worm!coran distilled their characters, you can tell how self-aware the writers are.  like, they’ve written hunk as a joke and in the episode coran wrote him as a joke.  they favored keith’s development over allura’s last few seasons (...she has magical powers and can shapeshift and they mentioned it once and then not again until like... now) and coran LITERALLY made allura be keith, like that is pretty obviously some shade at something.  maybe the fandom’s complaints?  idk, but it seems like they Know what they’re doing.

5) THE REUNION EP goddamn that was so good, that setup with the code books and the flashbacks and then the CEMETERY!!!  THAT MONUMENT!  god the monument was beautiful... 

6) matt is such a fucking meme oh my god.  okay who wants to bet that lance is going to get super jealous and insecure over the smart boy who acts like him but that people appreciate more?  (this could go on a bingo card: LANGST OVER MATT) the heart eyes over allura thing pisses me off but.... i’m so ticked off about how they handle her like OOOH every boy is obviously fawning over her because EYE CANDY fuckin 

7) the alteans trying to get milkshakes by talking to the cow was fuckign wonderful and THAT WAS WHAT I MEANT BY SEASON 3 LACKING ANY FUNNY BITS.  like s3 had a few one off jokes but the whole rest of the time was die-hard angst and it... was not good

8) “keith’s tearing apart the team” LIARS.  the team is tearing apart keith and i will not STAND FOR THIS SLANDER.  also???  ‘we’ll always have your back’ or whatever bull shiro pulled out of his ass i’m.  you literally did not?  if one single one of y’all had stopped to talk to the boy you would have realized how awful he was feeling about everything.  but no, shiro’s brilliant words of advice were ‘suck it up and be the leader even tho i can clearly see that no one likes you as the black paladin, least of all yourself’.  god they were just... so cold to keith.  blah blah i’m a keith stan but like... dudes.  did you see how much he was hurting?  and NO ONE wanted to talk to him.  he’s still the loner to the team he would DIE FOR, WITHOUT HESITATION.  this kid STOOD IN FRONT OF ZARKON, all alone, on the miniscule off chance that he could save the universe and be done with it.  i’m

9) still need that hunk/lance development (allura’s is starting to pick up, thank god, but.........)

10) what the fUCK is up with shiro?  he has never been this angry before.  i can see how hard a blow it was to lose the support of the black lion, but it’s literally never been his MO to angrily order people around.

11) god no one is... talking to each other?  no one but the holt sibs.  fucking rip communication.

12) WHERE.  THE FUCK.  IS SLAV.  bye bye to literally the smartest person in the universe i guess???

13) ...keith was the first actual paladin to make a paladin vlog, so where does that fit in with the timeline?  also RIP MY HEART

14) FUCK YES THEY’RE ON OLKARION!!! FUCK FUCKING YES!!!

15) dudes... voltron still has a sword.  WITHOUT keith.  in both of the last formations, keith’s bayard, either the black or the red, made the sword.  what is up with that??

16) NARTI.  

17) i REALLY 100% expected axca to be diehard lotor fangirl but her loyalty is greater than that.  i’m love her???  she’s literally lawful good and I WON’T HEAR ANY WORDS AGAINST HER.  I WANT HER BACKSTORY.

18) they left the goddamn cat behind.  also, for real, i thought he was gonna murder the cat.

19) something’s up with jack haggar.  can she consciously turn her face blue?  or is it somehow linked to her memory?

20) zarkon is a zombie now wrapped in a tin can and im DYING

21) RIP galra command tbh.  lotor is rogue, zarkon is relying on quintessence to stay alive, haggar currently gives NO fucks (we’ll handle it ourselves now lets BLOW UP THIS ENTIRE THIRD OF THE EMPIRE i’m???)

22) what the goddamn fuck is lotor’s backstory???  does he know who haggar even is?  is he also 10 thousand years old???? hOW???  I NEED TO KNOW DAMMNIT

23) pidge’s room is so GOOD.  plus the gaming system???  heck yeah.

24) pidge and hunk showering each other in compliments gives me life honestly

25) I LITERALLY JUST WANT KEITH TO BE OKAY if someone gets mad at him again and ignores the literal, like, four times he was about to GIVE HIS LIFE for the cause i’ll just.... explode

26) lance and his aerial dancing I’m?????

27) paul blart mall cop has voltron figurines that is all

28) how did that unilu trader become a war vet??

29) how is sam holt going to fit into this???

30) my dudes the galra ships can go underwater that is TERRIFYING

31) THE MERMAID PLANET IS IN THE COALITION

32) how did matt get the scar on his face HOW DID IT GET THERE

33) ....and there were some good hugs in there.  keith/shiro hug, pidge/matt hug, matt/shiro hug, group hug with KEEF :”D

34) IF ONLY THEY EVER TALKED TO EACH OTHER LMFAO.  aside from lance’s sudden speeches mid-life-or-death-situation i guess???  like wtf dude.

[survivorindia]

Does Jordan Pines Think I’m F**king Stupid?- Sarah

Episode 4

Great.. a swap. Worst of all, three of my four main allies 'ere are on the other tribe. It's just Alex and I swinging at the fences now. Last night, Alex and Gavin called me so they could walk me through what's been going on with their tribe and so we could find a way to get OUT of this mess. Luckily, we still know the name of our idol board and we've already set up what each other (Alex and I) will guess so we'll keep that rotation going. So right now on my tribe besides Alex we have... Lexi and Ruben, which is BAAAAD for me since I clearly targeted Lexi and if they're together (which why wouldn't they be, ofc they'll be together) they could very well turn on me. Robin is probably with them, so if anything, she's my way out of being cut so soon on this tribe. Admittedly I haven't spoken much with Bernel, Julia, or Dom - I have played with Dom a long while ago but we talked like once in that game and I was gone right at the merge so I don't really know him too well. I'm going to try to hit everybody up today because I don't want to get too far behind socially. And then there's Jaiden. Just like me, he's waiting for death, so that's swell. I've been told he's a huge villain but let's not judge a book by their cover just yet and wait to see what the hell he does out here.

Oh BOY did I miss a lot today. I woke up like two hours ago and have been doing chores since so go me! Anywho, I'm just going to do a quick assessment of people here since I've gotten a little time to know em:  - Dom is nice and all but dude apologizes for everything, even semi-good things lmao. A for effort?   - Julia's social game isn't all there, hell, it's weaker than mine. At least she's somewhat enthusiastic though. - Bernel's pretty cool, don't have much of a read on them. - I really haven't talked to Lexi in forever oop and Ruben seems decent, haven't spoken too much with him. - Robin is same ol, same ol.  - I can't say I have much of a read on Jaiden either at this point, all I know is that people say he ain't the nicest.  - Alex is great! I hope he and I can survive this tribe because I'd love to jam with 'im out here. I really gotta pick up my social game because I'm slacking especially since I missed most of an entire freaking day fuck me 

You can't bully me into making more confessionals! "I do what I want!" - Danny Gluck But yea I'm doing a shit ton for this challenge hopefully my efforts don't go unappreciated

So this is really terrifiying. So we swap, and boom, there goes my closest ally Sarah and she is on another tribe. I'm on a tribe with a majority of villians, but honestly this far Sarah has helped me a lot though this game. And last nigh I found out about a lot of shit. So I learned that Jaiden has very bad breakdowns, I learned Jordan Pines wants to be an ally of mine, I learned Sarah is truly being real and probably trusts me to the fullest extent by now, I learned that DOM HAS AN IDOL. yep. So I have THAT to deal with, while I try and search for a new idol board on the hero's tribe. So yeah, that's whats going on as of now. I'll be back with more deets.

Okay not trying to sound divaish ALREADY but... Alex seems kinda cocky to me, no idea why? Than we have Ruben and dom, and as far as I'm concerned they should be online right now and be super active bitch get it together

Okay I swear I already don't like Alex I'm trying to be nice to his bitch ass but he just has such a cocky persona like um I'm complimenting you, trying to be nice, and his vibe is so rude fuck that I hope he gets eliminated soon somehow

Ok I should have been nice but I feel like he hates me   

Ok I should have been nice but I feel like he hates me (11:04pm night of swap) I have no idea what has been going on the past few days because I've been sleeping haha, but I guess we did a tribe swap which is pretty neat!!

So we got some snake motherfuckers in this tribe. Kharab is not unified. So Nicole asks to be voted out, everyone is on board but what happens Jaiden tries to flip the vote on me, but like no honey, not going to fly here. No one else votes for me and Nicole votes for Jaiden, so Nicole leaves 4-1-1. But like Jaiden, what are you doing honey, why are you purposefully throwing yourself under the bus, like okay Jaiden comes to me after his flop attempt to get me out and is like oh I asked to be voted out and I just threw my vote to you and I'm like not true, I call major bullshit on you. So as of now I don't trust Jaiden at all, he's a snake he can leave today for all I care. Fuck him, he's dead to me.

Whew, so we won immunity which is nice and now am safe for the round. I was going to make a long confessional at the swap about how I felt about my new tribe but like I got lazy so long story short I like kendall gavin sarah ashley (aka the returnees) lexi is cool but she gives me a weird vibe idk and Casey Liam and Whitney need to step it up. I hope Jaiden gets voted out tonight on the other tribe, that be nice.

I certainly love snakes. I take back everything I said positive about Sarah, Jordan Pines, and now Dom. I don't even know if I have said anything nice about Dom because I'm pretty sure that's when I was not fully trusting of him. I guess to just catch this up to speed, I got closer to Dom and he shared his idol clue with me. He told me so much about Jordan giving him tea in the game and it just makes things so much more evident to me that he's going to immediately hold things against me if I don't reciprocate the same amount of information. Telling Sarah about the idol clue AND THEN all of my alliances was deadly, because now I think she's gonna run around and expose all of that for the fun of it. She's a snake, I tell you, and she's gonna screw me if I don't screw her over first. I just realized I should stop talking game in general because the walls seem to have ears. I don't think I can trust the hosts with information either lmao since everything likes to just magically leak and fall into terrible people's laps. I'm done bitching, I'm done strategizing, and I think I'm done writing confessionals at this point. I have some fight left in me and I think I'm okay doing some damage going forward. 

I'm still here against my will send help

Buckle up... this one's a doozy... I'm writing this as I listen in on Sarah and Jordan with my appear.in strats. Actually, I'll brb

Jordan Pines I’m talking to ashley Sent on: 2:36 pm From: Jordan Pines she really likes you really? Sent on: 2:39 pm i really really like her, but i feel like i may have hurt our bond From: Jordan Pines how so? Sent on: 2:39 pm From: Jordan Pines cause she said this to me From: Jordan Pines when i was talking about a returnee alliance From: Jordan Pines [2017-02-11, 2:20:23 PM] Ashley Hudson: I love Gavin [2017-02-11, 2:20:29 PM] Jordan Pines: i don’t know him that well [2017-02-11, 2:20:32 PM] Jordan Pines: like we played hvv2 together [2017-02-11, 2:20:36 PM] Jordan Pines: but never were on the same tribe [2017-02-11, 2:20:40 PM] Ashley Hudson: Like legit he is my fave right now, he is hella loyal Ayyyye Sent on: 2:40 pm That makes me feel better then *Pats self on back*

What happened on the Karen vote: - I got Karen out of the game with some help - I got Alex to trust Kendall less - I got Kendall to trust Alex less - I got Ashley to trust me more - I got Alex to trust me more - I got Kendall to trust Alex and Ashley less All because Alex and I thought Karen wouldn't want us around long-term :) At this point in the game, we have now swapped and I feel like I am in good-standing on my new tribe right now. Pines and I talk all the time, with him having allowed me to listen in on his call with Sarah while sharing with me that he found the idol. Ashley trusts me even more than before, while I have begun to form a bond with Liam. Honestly, I see things going well on this tribe, and I am ensuring to continue to talk to my #1, Mr. Alex, who got separated from the rest of us returnee heroes during the swap :( Here's to the merge... that will hopefully be rather soon! Also... ha ha lol @everyone who picked Karen over me in their drafts *eyes emoji* This is why you don't add people last to a pre-existing alliance and then echo the exact words of an ally when responding to my messages :~)

This Tribal could not have gone better. Gavin and I were great and it seemed like we flipped for a different reason than we did. I feel bad about the aftermath; Kendall seemed really upset and I hope we can mend that bond for later. The swap however, could not have gone worse. I am the ONLY one in this entire game who doesn't have ANY of their original tribe members with them. So I've been scrambling to get a group together. Gavin on the other hand is great. The returning players on his tribe have an alliance together, so I really just need to get to the merge and be solid with him later. I'm on a tribe with the lovebirds too (Ruben and Alexis), so we'll see how things go with that; I know Ruben, along with Johnny Poteet, so maybe there's something I can do there. In the meantime, all I can do at this point is sit back, be nice, don't cause waves, and get to that merge.

I got the advantage from the reward. I scored 3 million on the damn thing; so if I didn't get it I'd be shocked. I'm playing a decently dominant game right now, it's pretty freaking amazing.

I love this challenge, it gets us creative. The problem with that is the tribemates I have do not want to talk. I can make us a video, I just need to get the videos made and decided, you know? It's extremely difficult to plan things out when people are not online.

Gavin told me that Dom has the idol, and that's frightening. Dom is definitely one of those guys who I really can't get a good read on and that's scary. I need to just befriend him at this point, what else can I do?

My reaction to Karen getting voted off: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SiylvmFI_8 What I told my tribe when we swapped: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbrbUfYSt0E What I actually meant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrMmfKByyks My reaction to dealing with our useless tribemates when we were trying to make the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo-oWc4uEPE Whoops sorry wrong link... I'll put the proper one here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FjWe31S_0g My reaction to our harsh judges: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE My reaction to us winning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfYnvDL0Qcw And my plans for the future: I have nothing... so I put nothing. Wish me luck in the game! Because now I'm stuck with Jordan Pines. So in conclusion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GeCPanRHU0 God I love this series. Don't know why Count Olaf is the one telling us to look away, considering that he is such a sadistic bastard.

Whoops I put the wrong Chemical Romance song for, what I meant: Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORsFFjt1x6Q

Alright, so this new tribe is okay, I still have Gavin but lost Alex, but I have always trusted Gavin more so I mean that is a good thing. I now have Jordan Pines on my tribe, last time we worked together it was kind of forced by outside parties so I am hoping for this game we can actually work together by our own choice, and see how that goes. I know Casey irl, but she never talks on Skype, I don't really think she actually plays and is only here cuz Darian told her to. I mean that is okay, but how the fuck did she get this far. Kendall and I are still on rocky ground I think. I am kind of over her trying to get me out but se doesn't believe me for some reason? Like idk, she reads too much into things, I sent her smiley faces and she thought I was being passive aggressive.... which actually is usually the case but still. Lexi G..... Who? Liam.... Who? Sarah... playing another game with her rn, haven't really talked to her though so idk where that will go. Whitney... Who? From Maine... yet I don't know her... so.... Who?

The tribe's been so understanding and sweet about my situation. I feel like I can trust all the villains right now. I'll try to talk to Whitney and Liam. Maybe the newbies will try to work with each other. I still don't feel exactly safe on my tribe but I think if I play my cards right it won't be too difficult to secure my place in a solid alliance.

I am so happy we got a tribe swap. What's best is that Lexi and I are still together and now we have her boyfriend as well. It makes them look like big threats and the tribe could potentially want to vote one of them out sooner rather than later but I am completely loyal to them. It may look like I'm playing for third place but Lexi and Ruben seem like good people so I don't think they would just take advantage of me. It's a tribe of 9 so we only need two more people with us to have majority. Ruben mentioned working with Dom and Jaiden. I talked to both a little last night so I'm hopeful that we can get something solid together with them. Also, Lexi, Ruben, and I are looking for the idol together so even if we don't get someone else to work with us we have that to fall back on. These past few days have been great to Lexi and I. We went from being sitting ducks to finding new hope. Making it to the end together just seems more possible as the days go on.  

I've been inactive lately because I've been studying for midterms. I feel bad for not contributing anything to the challenge. We were close to winning so if more of us had participated we probably would've won. It sucks that I was busy this weekend and I hope this doesn't make me a target. Thankfully not many people did much for the challenge so I feel like I still have a chance. The biggest targets right now would probably be lexi and Ruben because of their relationship. They're my closest allies so I have to work hard to keep them safe. I've been going around talking to people. I'm trying to be strategic and approach everyone by linking an interest they have to lexi or Ruben so they won't vote for them. For example, with Julia, I brought up the fact that there's few girls left so we shouldn't vote for lexi and she agreed. Lexi Ruben and I are definitely voting together so we only need two more people. As long as we get them and no idol is played we should be good.

So my tribe lost and I kind of saw it coming. I mean half our tribe didn't even make a video for it lol. I only did because alex asked. I know people will probably want me or ruben out tonight since were a couple. I mean if I get voted out, it's whatever. ever since tribe swap I haven't really been paying attention because ive been busy. So I wont be blindsided lol. Hopefully myself,ruben,jaiden,robin and dom should be voting together and will have majority. But they haven't really said anything and I'm not gonna freak out about it. I'd rather vote johnny out just because I'm bitter towards him but I don't care whose name we write down honestly.