#the last two tiers are going to keep me up at night this is so funny

[toto-the-cactus]

Primarchs + Daughters (2)

Finally finished the damn part two. Been kinda busy here and there with my new job but lo and behold, the one yall asked for. Soon enough, yall find out why it took me a while writing this one for the two main guys I had to add here.

Part 1 - Part 2

Konrad Curze

A’right, I’ll open this one with the fact we all know that this man shouldn’t even be legally allowed to have children. I’m gonna be real for a hot second and admit that I stared at the screen for HOURS not knowing what to write because any poor little girl that is born from this guy will have the dubious privilege of being the most sheltered and hidden secret the Primarch ever kept close. With all those visions of death and inevitable doom mixed with the sudden power rush that fatherhood gave him, it left in its wake a perfect storm for this lunatic to develop a paranoid and obsessive need (NEED) to keep his daughter safe; something hard to achieve when he already knows the essence of his Legion. His fatalistic nature regarding his own future would suddenly clash violently with the Primarch’s new found protective stance concerning his child. It's almost sad to consider that this poor man GENUINELY wished to avoid becoming the monster his visions showed, but knowing that he’ll be balancing in the thin line of one day hurting his precious girl (or worse than that) it'll put him in the hard decision of having to let go of her eventually. He is no Perturabo, for that matter. In the rare and far away moments of lucidity, I can see Konrad choosing to protect the innocence and life of his child by trusting in the last person ANYONE might expect the Night Hunter would seek help: Vulkan. Honestly this is just plain sad, man.

Sanguinius

This is it! The golden boy, yall! We all know the kind of person Sanguinius is, but add a precious little daughter in the equation and all you get is the perfect example of textbook girl dad. No matter how busy this man is, somehow he’ll squish some playtime with his baby and enjoy every bit of it. Seriously, this guy acting like a dedicated father is worth being in a stockphoto image. His baby girl asks him to play tea party? Some astartes will find their Primarch hunched over, awkwardly holding a comically small cup between his thumb and index while his precious princess pretends to pour more tea for herself. The daughter of Sanguinius doesn't go a single day without knowing that her papa loves her a lot and when the man isn’t around, the Blood Angels Legion are close to keep her company to the point that even she calls them ‘big brothers’. No one is safe when she wants to play dress-up. The single problem I see with Sanguinius when raising his little girl is that he sins of being completely oblivious to the more mortal side of his daughter’s needs. He easily gets so wrapped up in his role of The Perfect Angel that he doesn’t realize his tiny princess has boundaries that are being constantly crossed, but since she feels the need to prove that she can be like her father, endures all those problems and refuses to seek help about anything. It becomes a kind of toxic mix considering how much Sanguinius is loved and adored by others, to the point that his daughter becomes like a coveted gem too by relation, making her need to prove her own ‘perfection’ an unconscious action the older she grows. I’m not even gonna touch with a ten feet pole the “fun fact” called the Red Thirst on this one because, let's be fair, that would require for me to write more than 3 pages with ONLY Sanguinius and his daughter in the spotlight and that’s only assuming his baby girl didn’t inherit it. I specialized in visual arts and marketing, not psychology jfc.

Ferrus Manus

It took me a while but after some investigating and more reading I can safely put this man in between the Papa-tier and ‘tough love’ guys. His practical mentality and belief of the strongest are (oddly enough) healthily separated from his parenting skills. This is one of the few Primarch that can see their daughter as an individual of their own and makes sure to be as present as possible in her life but the loyalty of this man to the Emperor is his own flaw. Not in the case that he’ll choose the Imperium before his little girl, but because it’ll put him in the dreading and guilty notion that he’ll always prioritize his daughter despite his oath to serve for the Great Crusade. Most of his brothers (except maybe Jaghatai and Konrad) just assume or don’t even think about the long term future of their daughters or simply presume that they will become a great part of the Imperium’s well oiled structure. Not exactly their fault since they never grew up with anything resembling normal. On the brighter and wholesome side (whiplash change!), this is a man who finds handmade gifts more meaningful and always makes sure to explain the reason behind them mostly out of the enjoyment of watching his little princess look so amazed at her papa’s skills. More often than not, Ferrus’ belief of the strongest would falter a little as he perceives the true fragile nature of his daughter and, even if she share the resilient blood of a Primarch, that isn’t enough to convince him that she isn’t vulnerable but instead of letting the worry fester, he’ll try to teach the girl the art of fighting. That’s where the ‘tough love’ kind of guy I mentioned comes out to light. He will not spare kind words during those moments of teaching, as he wishes for his princess to prevail any difficulty but he’ll make sure to always end any sort of training with “I love you so much that the idea of one day not being there to protect you, pains me beyond any form” to make sure that his harsh actions have a reason behind. Honestly, it's the kind of father-daughter relationship that possesses so many shades that makes its own drama novel. Good thing that uncle Fulgrim is always there to smooth the hard edges that may come in the future and makes up for the lack of spoiling the little girl deserves. Ferrus is not amused by it. Forgot to mention that the Primarch will be even more motivated to take off the metal of his hands, for he has yet to truly feel the warm and soft flesh of his baby’s hand. It's the one feeling he keeps missing and craves so much.

Angron

Oh man, another of the hard ones. Okay, if I managed with Konrad, I can tackle this bitch too. You need to comprehend that we are talking about a guy that has been so intimate with the meaning of pain that it's amazing he’ll be capable of ranging through other emotions that don’t involve fury into that combo too. That being said, this whole shitshow of being the father of a young girl can only be described as sad AND tragic. First off, Angron’s daughter wouldn’t even be allowed to leave her chambers at The Conqueror for obvious safety reasons and having her stay on Terra can’t be an option too, as Angron would rather be death than leave in a silver plate this one single pittance of good he helped to create under the light of the Emperor. That being said, any little girl born from Angron would be terribly isolated and one can’t even blame the Primarch for that as he, despite his disposition, finds his daughter as a genuine reflection of what he could never ever dream to have or be. That sometimes results in him feeling short and spontaneous moments of anger from the impotence of not being able to be close to his daughter, let alone console her with anything resembling compassion. This is a man that is horribly aware that he’s away from one sharp stab of the Nails to his brain to end up killing his little girl in one single swat of his hand. The moments of anything resembling fatherly love are few and very tense, for Angron has to constantly be focused on not letting the pain control his actions and that always looks as if he’s dismissing his child’s love language or actions. What else can I say that most people don’t know already? This is just a sad story waiting to end in tragedy and had it not been for how Sanguinius ended during the heresy, I can see The Great Angel taking Angron’s daughter under his care as the only consolation and promise to his corrupted brother before his demise. After becoming a Daemon Prince, Angron’s only genuine and foggy memory of his little girl is her crying while calling him with heavy despair. Goddamn I almost tear up with this one.

Roboute Guilliman

Look at my big nerd! One of the few guys that actually is humble enough to feel more human than any of his brothers… sometimes. I gotta say it, Roboute has the vibe of what happens when someone incredibly autistic suddenly becomes a parent; expect lots of books to try and be prepared for what entails to take care of a mortal baby. He’ll have a wholeass strict routine of activities and diets that you AND the baby must follow to ensure both of your health along with “fun facts” regarding a toddler’s development that half of the time lack the keyword ‘fun’ in there. Honestly, Euten will be a BLESSING sent, for she’ll be the one railing back the most extreme attempts of her adoptive son to try and raise his little princess like she was just another task of paperwork. Over all his quirks, the Primarch of the Ultramarines is absolutely trying his hardest to be a good father just as the one that raised him, but this is a man that half of the time ends up clumsily trying to spend time with his little girl only for it to backfire as he simply doesn’t understand how to entertain his daughter. Good thing the child will simply be happy to spend time with her papa despite his weird personality. More often than not, some of the astartes will see the young lady at her father’s chambers in a little booster chair beside him, doodling on some papers to pretend that she’s a big girl helping her papa with his very important job. It's probably the most adorable sight anyone can ever get the chance to see. Just like most of his brothers, Roboute isn’t that good at expressing his love towards his daughter with words, so he simply let his little princess be on his lap and hug her as if it will be the last time.

Mortarion

I’ve written enough of this man being a father that you all can get a wild idea of how he will be when confronted with parenthood. Even if he believes himself to be undeserving of anything resembling happiness thanks to his perception of being nothing but a tool of the Emperor, this guy will only need to see his precious little flower and feel like everything in the world can be forgotten, including his ever festering negative emotions. His daughter is the single light of love that he selfilish believes is his right after such torturous upbringing although that mentality rarely affects his princess, as he simply shows nothing but care and tenderness towards her. He may be a nervous trainwreck, fully aware that his Legion and himself aren’t exactly safe-hazardous, but that never has stopped him from doing his utmost best to protect the little girl from anything that may hurt her. Like most of his traitorous brothers, Mortarion would not hesitate to bring entire worlds into devastation if it meant that his family can be safe, even if that’ll end up making a terrible gap to grow between him and those he loves. It's quite terrible and sad to know that, unlike Fulgrim or Angron, Mortarion was the closest to his daughter and showered her with as much genuine love as he could in an attempt to avoid being anything like his supposed father (adopted or creator equally), so when he turned into a Daemon Prince, the festering and rotting resentment that consumes him sometimes simmers down when he remembers the laugh of joy his little princess often released when he would carry her up in his arms. Oh yes, some good ol’ gut-wrenching emotional damage, teehee.

I will not apologize for being a mean bitch by writing sad shit. XOXO

[windupaidoneus]

yeah i think this is as good as it gets. fuu's relationship chart 🎉 rip tatsumi u mentioned god one too many times

[burreauxsworld]

Ours To Keep (2) | Joe Burrow

Angst/Fluff

Summary: Joe doesn’t have the best reaction to your news, and it causes some tension between the two of you.

••••••

You stared at Joe in confusion as he laughed.

“Good one, Y/N” he says, still laughing. “But if you’re going to play a prank on me, at least come up with a better joke” he adds as he calms down. “Joe, I’m not joking” you tell him quietly. “The acting was seriously top tier. How have you never shown that to me before? I mean the tears looked so real-“

“Joe I’m not kidding. I’m not trying to play a prank on you” you cut him off. “I’ve been nauseous all week, my boobs are incredibly sore, and I missed my period over a week ago” you explain, and he lets out a sigh. “There’s no possible way you could be pregnant. You’re on birth control. You have that thing in your arm” he reminds you, smiling again. “I think you’re being paranoid” he says causing you to scoff.

“Joe, this is serious-“

“You’re not pregnant. You sound crazy” he says pulling back from you. “Have I been working you too hard? Maybe it’s stress. Take the rest of the day off-“

“That doesn’t explain the positive pregnancy test on my bathroom counter” you argue starting to get aggravated. “I’ve been ignoring it for weeks. Hoping maybe I was a little bit crazy. But we weren’t exactly the most careful-“

“So you’re turning this around on me?” Joe asks, his jaw clenched. “No, I’m not-“

“That’s how it sounds. You were irresponsible and now you’re paying the price for it and taking it out on me” he spits with his eyes full of anger. “Last time I checked it takes two people for something like this to happen. I didn’t have sex with myself” you retort and he scoffs. “How could you let this happen? Do you know how much shit this is going to cause? I don’t need this right now. I have to go back to practice, and to be honest I’m not sure I even want you here right now. You’re dismissed for the day” Joe walked out of the office leaving you stunned.

You knew he might not have the best reaction but you didn’t think it would be like this. Joe has never spoken to you that way, even when he was at his worst. With tears in your eyes, you gathered your bag and slowly began to make your way toward the parking lot.

You had a lot of things running through your head, but one rash thought lingered and it made you sick to your stomach. It was going to be a long night.

•••

Later that night, you’re sitting on your couch with your laptop open in your lap. You decided to throw yourself into work, and Joe had a foundation event coming up that Robin asked you to help organize. Even mad at him you couldn’t let this go undone. His foundation was one of the most important things to him, and you kept telling yourself you were more so doing this for his parents. You’re about halfway through editing the announcement picture that would eventually be posted to the foundations instagram, when you heard a knock at your door.

Furrowing your brows, and setting your laptop on the glass coffee table, you walked over to the door and looked through the peep-hole. Your heart lurched at the sight of him. You open the door, and the two of you stare at each other for about a minute.

“You’re not here to throw me down the stairs, are you?” You ask, half joking.

Joe rolls his eyes, “can I come in?”

You move to the side and let him into your home. He kicks his shoes off, knowing you don’t like shoes on your light colored carpet. “What’s up? Why’d you stop by?” You ask, a sigh escaping your lips. You know exactly why he’s here, but you wanted to see what he had to say for himself. “I went home today after practice and had some time to think. The way I treated you was wrong and just absolutely disgusting” he says, stepping toward you, and you take a step back.

“I deserve that.” He says running his hand through his hair. “I never should have blamed you for this. This is just as much my fault, if not more. You did your part being safe, I’m the one that decided not to use condoms. That’s on me. I want you to know how sorry I am about today,” Joe says. You guys never breaking eye contact.

“You’re probably terrified, and I didn’t make it any easier-“

“That’s for sure.” You mutter. “Joe, I never meant for this to happen. And I’ve done a lot of thinking myself. I’m going to keep this baby. I’m not asking you for any help, I’m not asking you for any money. I’m fully prepared to do this by myself. I’ve started looking for another job-“

“Hang on a second-“

“You can sign your rights away. We don’t even have to tell anyone that the baby is yours. You’ll have no ties to it” you ramble, and he shakes his head. “That’s not what I want.” He states, his voice firm. “This is my kid, Y/N. Not just something I can pretend doesn’t exist. I want to do this with you, if you’ll let me” he pleads, reaching out to grab your hand.

“You really hurt me today, Joe.” You told him. “You made me feel like I ruined your life”

“I know, and I regret everything I said to you. I can’t even put into words how sorry I am. You didn’t ruin my life. Neither one of us could have anticipated this happening” he assures you. “I am so so sorry” he says, pulling you into his arms, wrapping you in a tight hug. “I’m still very upset with you. It’s going to take some time to fully forgive you” you tell him, and he frowns, but he understands.

“I have a doctors appointment in the morning, if you’d like to come” you offer. “It’s just to confirm everything and get a due date and all that fun stuff”

“I’ll drive and buy you breakfast” he says, looking down at you. “Speaking of food, I’m starving” you groan, and he lets out a laugh. “Alright, I guess I’ll feed you” he jokes, making his way to your kitchen. “Ooh, can you make that pasta that I like? I’m pretty sure I have all of the ingredients” you ask with pleading eyes.

“Yes, I can make you the pasta. Pick a movie, and shut that laptop. Work is over for the day” he orders.

“Sir, yes, sir”

•••

The Next Day

“Well congratulations, Y/N. You are indeed pregnant,” the doctor says, entering the room after your test results finally come back. “Both the urine and blood test came back positive. Judging by the numbers on your results it’s looking like you’re around 8 or 9 weeks pregnant, that’s around 2 months and a week.. Which would make your due date sometime in February, but we can’t be sure until we do an ultrasound” the doctor explains.

“The next course of action is going to be removing your nexplanon and doing an ultrasound” she explains.

You look over at Joe, who’s listening intently. He hasn’t said much since the two of you got here, but you’re giving him time. He wants to be involved, but he processes things a different way. You respect that.

“We can schedule the ultrasound for about a week from now. I don’t have any available ultrasound techs today. So I have a list of appointments, and you can choose what works best for you and your schedule. All of them are on Monday. There’s a 9am, 10am, 12pm, 3pm, and 4pm-“

“We can do Monday at 9am” Joe says, and you look over at him. “You have practice on Monday” you remind him. He shrugs. “We only watch film for the first two hours on Monday, you know that. They’ll be fine without me for an hour” he assures you. “We’ll do Monday at 9am” you tell the doctor, knowing Joe wasn’t going to let up.

“Perfect. Stop at the front desk to check out on your way back out. See you Monday. Congratulations, again” she smiles as she leaves the room. You look back over at Joe. “You okay?” You ask, and he nods. “I’m good. Now let’s go get you guys some breakfast,” he says, and a warm feeling spreads through your chest. You slip your hand in his and he leads you out of the room.

•••

“What can I get you guys to drink?”

“I’ll take a coffee with extra cream and sugar” you say, and Joe protests. “You can’t have coffee. Caffeine isn’t good for the baby” he says, and you shoot him a glare that’s strong enough to cut. The waitress looks between the two of you hesitantly. . “I can have a little bit of caffeine,” you argue, and look back at waitress. “Ignore him. I’ll have a coffee” you say with a smile. It’s Joe’s turn to roll his eyes, as he orders a water for himself.

Once the waitress walks away, you kick Joe’s shin under the table. “You’re not going to be one of those overprotective fathers who dictates what I eat, drink, and do. I’m an adult. I can handle myself”

He lets out a sigh, knowing not to argue because your hormones are high right now. “Please do your research before acting like a control freak. I can have up to 200 grams of caffeine a day,” you tell him, and he sighs. “I just want to keep the two of you safe,” he admits, and you start to feel bad for going off on him.

“I appreciate that, Joey, but we’re good. We can handle a little bit of caffeine” you assure him, a slight smile on your face. The waitress returns with your drinks, and the proceeds to ask if you’re ready to order your food. “Can I have two over medium eggs, with hash browns, and toast?” The waitress writes down your order, Joe looks confused, but orders his blueberry pancakes and the waitress goes to put the order in.

“You hate eggs,” Joe comments.

“The baby wants them.”

Joe laughs, tossing his head back. “What the baby wants, the baby gets”

~~~~~~~

Ahhh our guys won yesterday!! I’m so proud of them :)

[shixcherie]

Damsel In Stress | Jeong Yunho & Song Mingi ☆

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

Navigation | Kinktober List

☆ Day 04 : Bodyguards, Shower Sex

↬ [ Synopsis ] : When your bodyguards, devilishly handsome and undeniably sexy, promise you a night to remember, you take it all in stride. Whether it’s bending the rules or indulging in steamy shower sex, you’re ready to embrace the thrill, surrendering yourself completely to the experience.

Word Count : 3.9k Genre : Smut, Angst, Bodyguard Au. Pairing : Bodyguard! Yunho x F.Reader x Bodyguard! Mingi

WARNINGS : Pure smut, shower sex, double penetration, dom/sub undertones, multiple orgasms, praise, petnames ( doll and princess), playful banter and flirting, big dick agenda, mention of alchol and drug consumption.

Tag list OPEN! - let me know if you want to be tagged for this Kinktober list

☆☆☆ NOTE : Day 4 is here, and this is huge just like our handsome boys, Yunho and Mingi. :P . Hope you enjoy this ma chéries. This story contains themes related to alcohol and drug use. Reader discretion is advised.

“Yunho, ahh... keep going, please don’t stop” you cried as Yunho mercilessly pounded deep into you, his thrusts turning your brain to mush. “So good, princess, taking us so well.”

Us? Did he just say “US”?

“Is this what you wanted, doll?” Mingi's deep voice purred from behind, sending a shiver down your spine. “Feels good, doesn’t it… being taken care of like this?” His words heightened the sensation of being at the mercy of your two deliciously handsome bodyguards.

As you pieced together the situation, it felt messy, thrilling, and was definitely going to be hard to explain to your daddy.

Wait… how did you end up here?

Let’s rewind a bit.

—

Your friends called you “Damsel In Distress” for being daddy’s little princess, constantly getting saved by him and your bodyguards Yunho and Mingi and being the mischievous talk of the town. Causing trouble was not something you chose to indulge in voluntarily; it was just that wherever you went, trouble followed you like a loyal dog following its master.

Coming from an opulent family didn’t help either, because people loved to pick on someone who had everything that they didn’t and couldn’t have. Taking behind your back, purposely messing up your drinks to see daddy’s little princess act crazy, and snatching your boyfriend Mingyu were a few things that you had been dealing with for the past six months. With your best friends turning their backs on you, your situation got a thousand times worse. Bullying turned into actual harassment, and this daddy’s little princess went feral.

Up until a point, you did tolerate it; you got your dead mom’s patience after all. You didn’t want anything from a woman who cheated on your S-tier, greenest of the green flag, ultra pro max gentleman daddy, but fate had a way of shoving things down your throat that you didn’t want to be associated with at all. Hence, you were a spitting image of your mom, but the good thing was you got your dad’s behavior and morals, making you the most loyal person you would ever meet.

You were more like a “Damsel In Stress” after multiple failed relationships and a damaged reputation in university. The only people you could gawk at without getting labeled as a “creep” were your handsome bodyguards, Yunho and Mingi. Tall and handsome with Greek god-ish builds, they made anything in their vicinity appear minuscule, and your 5’3” tall frame didn’t help much.

But where your height lacked, you made up for it with your attitude (short girlies for the win). The last six months were the most nightmarish months of your whole freaking life; getting addicted to substances, smoking weed, and sneaking out at late hours to attend God knows what kind of parties became your choice of escape. Your only option.

These were the only things that somehow filled the empty void, hence your daddy decided to ignore it for a while, as long as you were safely back home at dawn, and Yunho and Mingi, being the most dutiful and uptight bodyguards, made sure of it.

Tonight was different, though.

Why? Because you met this girl online, her name’s Ryujin.

You both clicked instantly, shared similar past troubles, and were freshly single, addicted to drugs. You girlies had been planning a getaway to spend a wild night out.

Ryujin found this party happening a few hours' drive from your mansion, kinda illegal with everything from dangerous drugs to premium liquor available, but promising a wild night.

You needed that.

Hence, you sneaked out again without anyone noticing, not even your bodyguards. You sneakily tranquilized their drinks, hehe, not advisable, but kinda the need of the hour.

Then how did this perfectly well-planned night take such an unexpected turn?

You were here to forget all your sorrows, so why were you lying on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, disgusting, your body so limp it felt like you took a thousand fucking punches, not remembering a single thing? The last thing you remembered was Ryujin crying on her knees beside you, fear calling your bodyguards. Yes, they were saved on speed dial just so you could escape out of situations like these without daddy noticing it.

But what happened with you? Did you drink too much? Ingest something so strong that it blacked you the fuck out?

A thousand questions swirled around your mind as darkness took over. You could feel yourself being picked up off the cold and dirty bathroom floor, Ryujin thanking Yunho as he offered to drop her back home, which she declined sweetly, mentioning she could drive back as she had bought her car and had almost sobered up. Fucking traitor! Why call them?!

Wait, Yunho?! What about your drugged drink? Did it not work on them? Who the fuck is carrying you? Is it Mingi? Not complaining at all; you had dreamt of moments like this.

But when—how did they know—why—what the actual motherfucking fuck is this mess?

Yeah, your intoxicated brain couldn’t handle any more, and you passed out.

When the tiniest consciousness slipped into your brain, you opened your eyes to gaze upon the glorious sight in front of you: fine-as-freaking-wine men driving you somewhere.

“What are you guys doing here?” you asked, even if you knew what was going to come your way. “Aren’t you both supposed to be... umm... sleeping?”

It's our job to take care of you.

“It’s our job to look out for you, doll” Mingi replied with a small smile,just the way you expected, his deep voice slightly registering in your intoxicated mind, and huh, did he just call you doll?

“Sleeping? That’s cute. Aren’t you supposed to be in bed by now, princess?” Yunho asked you, a smug look adorning his face, still not answering your question, his sexy smirk visible from the rearview mirror.

What the fuck with these nicknames?

“Guess the dosage wasn’t strong enough, huh?” Mingi chipped in, his handsome frame in the driver’s seat way too distracting for you to register whatever the fuck he said, something along the lines of dosage being strong.

Huh?! You just got caught. Is there a way out of this? Will daddy find out? Will you be punished?

“He-hehe, what dosage are you talking about?” you nervously laughed, thinking of what to say next.

“Can we not play dumb anymore, princess?” Yunho teased, giving you a look that clearly said daddy’s princess just got caught. “Sorry to disappoint you, but boys don’t take naps on the job.” That sealed the deal for you; even the freaking drug betrayed you.

Your lips formed a thin line, your mind made up that any more excuses you planned on coming up with were not going to work on them anymore. You sighed in defeat, earning a chuckle from both of them.

A piercing silence fell over the car, soon replaced by a thick tension that made you shift uncomfortably in your seat, filthy thoughts flickering through your mind like a movie reel.

Was it the sexual frustration building up over the last six months, or the effects of the intoxication? You couldn’t pinpoint it.

But every time you caught Yunho's intense gaze through the rearview mirror, a jolt ran down your spine, heat pooling low in your stomach. His smirk never faltered, his eyes shifting between you and the road, as if he knew exactly what was running through your head.

Mingi, sitting beside him, wasn’t any less subtle. His broad hand casually rested on the steering wheel, but his eyes would drift toward you whenever he thought you weren’t looking. That small smile from earlier still lingered on his lips, making your pulse quicken. You couldn't shake the way his deep voice wrapped around that nickname, “doll”. It felt too intimate, too... dangerous.

Why were your bodyguards acting up today? Was it the aftereffects of the drug, or perhaps... they did feel some kind of way towards you?

So, it wasn’t just you after all, was it? They had been battling with the same thoughts, the same desire simmering beneath the surface. You could feel it—thick in the air, undeniable. A flush creep up your neck, only heightening the tension.

“What’s wrong, princess? Feeling a little too warm?” Yunho teased, his voice laced with amusement as he noticed the way you shifted in your seat again.

You swallowed hard, trying to steady your breathing, but there was no escaping the heat radiating from both of them.

They knew exactly what they were doing to you.

As Mingi turned down a quieter street, the path leading exactly where you feared, their house, your fears were confirmed. Or perhaps, it wasn’t fear at all... but excitement for what was about to come next.

Mingi pulled the car to a stop in front of their house, your pulse quickens heart racing a million miles in equal parts anticipation and fear, as Yunho opened the door for you, his hand reaching out to help you step down. His fingers brushed against your skin, seemingly innocent, but it sent a spark of electricity through your body.

No words were exchanged as they led you inside, the door closing behind you with a soft click. The air was thick with unspoken tension, the kind that had been building for months. You were halfway across the living room when Mingi’s deep voice broke the silence.

“You’re trembling, doll” he murmured, stepping closer. His proximity was intoxicating, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched. “Nervous? Or is it something else?”

Before you could respond, Yunho was behind you, his breath hot against your neck as he leaned in. “You didn’t think you could drug us and just walk away, did you, princess?” His voice was low, teasing, and far too close for your mind to stay clear.

You turned to face him, heart hammering, but the words stuck in your throat as Yunho’s eyes darkened. In one swift motion, his lips claimed yours—demanding, taking what had been simmering between you for far too long. His kiss was messy, mind-numbing, filled with hunger. A hunger you hadn’t fully realized, or maybe one you’d knowingly ignored given the forbidden nature of your relationship with them.

Before you could catch your breath, Mingi was there. His hand gently tilted your chin toward him, his lips hovering over yours as he whispered, “We’re not finished with you yet.” The words sent a shiver through you. And before you could process the weight of them, his mouth was on yours—slow, deliberate, and utterly consuming, like he had all the time in the world.

You were experiencing things you had once only dreamed of, especially given the state of desperation you felt a few months ago. Even though you had deliberately ignored the hints Yunho and Mingi dropped, this moment felt like a culmination of all those unspoken desires.

A wave of validation washed over you, filling your heart with satisfaction as you realized that they shared the same hunger and lust that had been simmering within you for so long.The hunger that had been building for months had finally ignited, and there was no turning back.

As Mingi continued to kiss you, Yunho decided to take over your neck, decorating it with butterfly kisses. “You taste so sweet,princess” he murmured, nipping at your skin, urging pretty moans from you that were muffled by Mingi’s skillful lips.

“Is she always this responsive?” Mingi teased, pulling back slightly to glance at you, his eyes dark with desire. “We could get used to this.”

“Don’t let it go to your head” you shot back playfully, but your breath hitched as Yunho continued his trail of kisses.

Purple marks blossomed along your neck as Yunho explored further, nibbling on your earlobe before kissing you behind the ear. “You’re driving me wild,do you know that ?” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “We might just want to keep you like this forever.”

“Guess I found your sweet spot” Yunho smirked, oblivious to the way your body reacted as he kept kissing and nibbling that delicate area.

“Mhmm… Yunho… don’t stop” you gasped, earning a chuckle from him at the way his name rolled off your tongue. Your hands tangled in Mingi’s hair as he maintained his steamy kiss.

Mingi pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his voice low and husky. “Just imagine what else we can do to you, doll.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it” you chuckled softly, meeting his gaze. With a playful smirk, you added, “Have a feeling you two won’t disappoint me.”

Yunho caught your eye, his grin playful. “You have no idea how much we’ve been wanting this, do you?”

With a mischievous glint in your eye, you teased, “I might have had a hint… but now, I want a full demonstration.” It was true, tensions had always heightened between the three of you. But given the restrictions and the lack of loose moments like this, it had kept you from exploring each other,until now.

Mingi leaned closer, his lips brushing against your ear. “Don’t worry, we’ll give you a show you won’t forget.”

Mingi's hands found the hem of your top, pulling it up slowly. “Let me take this off for you,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire as the fabric slipped away, leaving your skin bare to his hungry gaze. His gaze had you wet down south, aching to be touched and devoured.

Yunho stepped closer, his fingers eagerly working on your jeans. “You look incredible, but let’s make it even better, shall we?” he teased, his breath hot against your ear as he slid your jeans down your legs, pooling at your feet.

The cold air making contact with you sent goosebumps all over your body, excitement coursing through you.A faint sound of water running caught your ears—was it the shower? A knowing look spread across your face. Ah, so that’s what these two had been planning.

Quite steamy, you thought, and utterly exciting.

The idea of the three of you under the shower, bodies pressed together, both your holes stuffed to the brim,had your arousal pooling, your core dripping with desire.

“Figured it out already, doll?” Mingi chuckled, a knowing look in his eyes as he glanced toward the bathroom where the water was running.

“Then, princess shall not wait any longer” Yunho added, his voice low and sultry, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine.

Both of them took your hands, guiding you toward the bathroom. As you stood under the shower, water cascaded down your body, the heat mixing with your own as you surrendered to the moment.

Yunho's hands cupped your breasts, his touch igniting a fire within you. He played with your now-hard nipples as your head rested back on his shoulder, eyes closed, a disheveled mess with your lips caught between your teeth.

Mingi knelt before you, his gaze intense as he admired how the water glistened on your skin. “You’re absolutely breathtaking” he said, his fingers teasingly grazing your inner thighs before moving higher.

Your breath hitched as Mingi's fingers finally found your dripping core, sliding through your folds that left you gasping. “How does that feel, princess?” he asked, looking up at you with a smirk, clearly enjoying your reaction.

“Unbelievably good” you breathed, leaning back against Yunho, who continued to play with your breasts, his thumbs circling your nipples, making them harden under his touch.

Mingi’s fingers skillfully explored your slick heat, swirling and teasing, collecting soft moans from your lips. “Cum for us, doll. Just enjoy this moment with us” he whispered, his voice dripping with seduction as he picked up the pace, each back-and-forth movement driving you wild.

Yunho's hands moved from your breasts to your waist, steadying you as Mingi's fingers worked their magic. The tension within you built, a delicious pressure threatening to consume you.

Yunho’s breath was hot against your ear as he kissed the delicate spot, quickening your heart and serving as the final blow that made everything come undone.

With a soft gasp, you surrendered to the waves of pleasure, losing yourself completely in the moment as you released onto Mingi’s fingers.

Your head slumped against Yunho’s shoulder as he held you, and you watched Mingi lick your juices off his chubby fingers before shoving them into Yunho's mouth. The sight in front of you sent butterflies racing in your stomach; watching them taste your slick made your core throb with a desperate need for attention.

Without wasting any more time, Yunho twisted your body toward him, his lips glistening with remnants of your juices as hot water cascaded down his face. His hands pulled you closer, signaling you to jump. You wrapped your legs around his waist, a sense of urgency consuming you. In one swift motion, he thrust his hard, aching length into you, filling you completely.

“God, you feel incredible, baby” Yunho groaned, his eyes dark with lust as he relished the sensation of you around him, your walls hugging him providing a warm yet tempting sensation. He was hungry, yet he held back, waiting for Mingi to join.

Taking the cue, Mingi closed the distance, positioning himself behind you. “You ready for more, doll?” he asked, his voice low and sultry, sending a shiver down your spine. You nodded eagerly, excitement pooling in your stomach.

With a firm grip on your hips, Mingi pressed himself against you, slowly pushing his cock inside your ass. “You’re so tight” he grunted, a mix of pleasure and disbelief in his voice as he slid deeper. “You’re going to feel amazing filled up by both of us.”

The sensation was overwhelming; the hot water, both your holes occupied, and the intoxicating feeling of being completely claimed by both men. You let out a breathy moan, a mix of pleasure and slight discomfort as you adjusted to the sensation.

“I’ve never felt anything like this. Boys, please move.” you gasped but responded to them, your body trembling with delight.

Yunho tightened his grip on you, his thrusts steady and deep, matching Mingi's rhythm as he began to move behind you. “Just relax and let us take care of you” Yunho whispered against your ear, his breath hot and inviting. “You’re going to love this.”

“We’ve got you, princess” Mingi encouraged, his hands finding your waist, guiding your movements as they both took you to new heights of pleasure. “Close your eyes and let loose.”

You obeyed as their pace quickened, drawing a chorus of moans from your lips, leaving you breathless. The overwhelming sensation, mixed with the heat of the water, only heightened your arousal. The boys were just as breathless, groaning with each hard thrust. Mingi's lips parted in a string of "oh my gods" as he pushed deeper inside you. You could feel him on the edge, just like your own release was building to its peak.

Suddenly, Yunho slowed his thrusts, savoring the moment as he realized both you and Mingi were hovering on the edge. “What’s the rush, baby?” he teased, his voice low and sultry. “We want to feel every single second .”

Mingi chuckled, pressing his chest against your back, his hands gripping your hips firmly. “Let’s take our time” he whispered hotly against your ear. “We want to enjoy you completely.”

The change in pace drove you wild, and you squirmed between them, desperate for more. “Please… don’t stop” you gasped, the need overwhelming you.

“Such a needy little thing” Yunho murmured with a wicked grin. “Just the way we like it.” With that, he picked up the pace again, thrusting into you harder, while Mingi added more pressure from behind, teasing and heightening the electric pleasure surging through you.

The urgency in your core built up rapidly. “I’m so close” you moaned, eyes fluttering shut as everything else faded away, only the two of them and the pleasure they gave you remained.

“I can’t hold on much longer, gonna cum.” you gasped, your body trembling between them. An urged need to release and break apart washed over you pushing you more and more and over the edge.

Yunho and Mingi exchanged knowing glances, their thrusts becoming more conssitent and delicious. “Cum for us, doll.” Mingi urged, his sultry voice in your ear. “We’re right there with you.”

With a final deep thrust from Yunho and Mingi's teasing dicks, pleasure crashed over you like a huge wave. A loud moan escaped your lips as your release hit, sending shock waves through your entire body. “Holy fuck”

Feeling you clench around him, Yunho groaned, his grip tightening. Mingi pressed against you from behind, both men overwhelmed by your powerful release had their cocks twitching for a release.

“Damn, you feel incredible” Yunho breathed, thrusting erratically. “We’re right behind you, princess.”

With one last powerful thrust, Yunho filled you, followed by Mingi, their warmth mingling as waves of pleasure crashed over you once more.

As they pulled out, you leaned back against Yunho, feeling blissfully satisfied. “Best shower ever” you murmured, wrapped in the warmth of their embrace

"I can’t hold on much longer,please…aa.aa, gonna cum” you gasped, your body trembling between them. The overwhelming need to release washed over you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

Yunho and Mingi exchanged knowing glances, their thrusts becoming more consistent and deliberate. “Cum for us, doll” Mingi urged, his sultry voice in your ear. “We’re right there with you.”

With a final deep thrust from Yunho and Mingi's teasing strokes, pleasure crashed over you like a tidal wave. A loud moan escaped your lips as your release hit, sending shockwaves through your entire body. “Holy fuck…”

Feeling you clench around him, Yunho groaned, his grip tightening. Mingi pressed against you from behind, both men overwhelmed by your powerful release, their cocks twitching as they chased their own.

“Damn, you feel incredible” Yunho breathed, thrusting erratically. “We’re right behind you, princess.”

With one last powerful thrust, Yunho spilled into you, followed by Mingi, their warmth mingling as waves of pleasure crashed over you again.

As they pulled out, you leaned back against Yunho, feeling blissfully satisfied. “Best shower ever,” you murmured, wrapped in the warmth of their embrace.

Truly that was the best shower and the best sex ever.

Yunho and Mingi stepped out of the shower, with Yunho carrying you. They took care of you, drying your hair and helping you get dressed before cleaning themselves up. Being taken care of like this was something you hadn’t experienced in a while, and it felt nice, you heart did a happy dance as you smiled at them, soaking their warm energy in.

Once dressed, you and Yunho settled on the living room couch, flipping through random channels on TV. Mingi soon joined, bringing refreshments, and settled on your left. The three of you cuddled on the couch, with you sandwiched between their warm, muscular bodies.

“What about my dad...?” you trailed off, the thought of explaining this to him crossing your mind as he was set to return from his business trip.

“Let’s worry about that later, yeah princess?” Yunho suggested, stealing a quick peck from your lips.

“Let’s just enjoy being together now, doll” Mingi added, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.

Yeah that for the future you to worry. We’ll take care of daddy, lets enjoy the present for now.

For Now, Damsel no longer in stress.

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

DISCLAIMER: This is totally fictional and not a real depiction of the ATEEZ members. It's all just for fun only so please don’t take anything seriously and keep the mood light around here.

© ShixCherie.

[archiveikemen]

Harrison Gray 2nd Birthday Campaign: Story (2024)

Chapters 1-3

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Warnings and FAQ

1st Birthday Campaign Story

I opened my eyes to the feeling of warm sunlight hitting the back of my eyelids, and saw Harry’s sleeping face.

(We fell asleep without getting dressed. Both of us have been really busy lately and haven't spent much time together, so we got a little too carried away last night…)

We finally had some quiet time last night and spent it together, but— 

Harrison: Mm…

Kate: Good morning, Harry.

Harry, who had woken up once, frowned and shut his eyes again.

Harrison: … Good night.

Kate: It’s morning already. Please wake up.

Harrison: It’s my day-off today…

Kate: Harry! Wake! Up!

Harry finally opened his eyes when I yanked the sheets off to cover my body.

Harrison: You look amazing this morning, trying to seduce me? 

Kate: I-I’m not!

Harry, groggy from being woken up, planted a kiss on my cheek.

Harrison: Sure looks that way to me, though.

Kate: Mmph, Harry!

He distracted me with a kiss on my lips and reached for the sheets covering my body.

Kate: N-No! 

Harrison: … Is it because I went too hard on you yesterday?

Kate: That’s not the case. 

Our interactions since morning filled my heart with both joy and embarrassment, but—

Kate: We made a promise to prepare for your birthday together this year! 

Today's date is the 29th of May, a day before Harry’s birthday.

I tried to secretly plan a birthday party for him last year, but…

= Flashback Start =

Harrison: You’ve been avoiding me all day because you’re planning a surprise birthday party for me, am I right?

= Flashback End =

(The cake remained a surprise, but he easily found out about the party.) 

I thought about how to go about the birthday party preparations this year, and decided that we would prepare for it together. 

(Avoiding Harry while preparing for the surprise party made me feel guilty, so I’m glad I don’t have to do that again this year.) 

(Moreover, Victor gave us two days off. That means we can be together throughout.)

Harrison: Where do we start?

Kate: First of all—

…

Kate: We’re baking the cake together this year! 

After arranging the ingredients and equipment on the counter, Harry picked up the cake mould.

Harrison: … Isn't this too small?

Kate: I think it's enough, but would you prefer to have a bigger cake? 

I baked a five-tier cake with Crown’s help last year, but we’re baking a single tier cake this year. 

(Harry loves sweet foods, so he probably wants more cake to eat.)

Harrison: Knowing you, you definitely put a lot of thought into choosing this size for the cake. 

Kate: Huh… 

Harrison: I’ve never baked a cake before, so I guess this might be the right size. 

I felt a wave of affection wash over me as I watched him put the mould back and think with his hand on his chin.

(Harry is always respectful of my thoughts.)

I tried my best to keep myself from smiling while reflecting on the kindness my lover always treated me with.

Together with the rather adorable Harry whose hands were unfamiliar with baking—

Kate: It’s done!

Harrison: My arms are sore from whipping the cream.

Kate: You were the one who decided to make so much cream because you wanted more to eat…

The cake with a generous amount of fruits as toppings looked good enough to be displayed at the storefront of a bakery. 

Harry scooped up a mouthful of the leftover whipped cream from the bowl with a twinkle in his eyes.

Harrison: Open your mouth, Kate.

Kate: Yes? Mmph.

He shoved the whipped cream into my mouth, some of it getting onto the tip of my nose.

Harrison: Pfft… 

Kate: Goodness! Don’t just shove it in my mouth like that all of a sudden!

Harrison: Haha… my bad. Here.

Harry’s face drew closer and he licked the cream off my nose.

Harrison: Mm… sweet.

Harrison: So? What are we doing next? 

…

Kate: Next, we’re picking out a present for you!

I walked briskly through the shopping street, pulling Harry along behind me by the arm.

Harrison: We don’t need to rush. It’s not as if anything’s going to run away.

Kate: But what if the item you like gets sold out? 

Harrison: What do you think I’ll choose as a present?

Harrison: … You’re being especially energetic this morning.

Kate: Of course I am. Today’s the day before your birthday. 

Harry stopped walking and gave me a wry smile.

Kate: … Are you going to laugh at me?

Harrison: Yeah. 

Kate: It’s been a while since we last went out together like this. We rarely get the chance to spend full days together, you know? 

Kate: Even though this is to celebrate your birthday, it also feels like a reward for myself… 

Despite living in the same castle, I knew from before we started dating that we wouldn't always get to be together. 

(Harry’s missions and his job as a proofreader have been keeping him busy…)

Moreover, we’re total opposites of each other, so we often did our own things separately even on our off days.

We had a relationship where we respected each other’s likes without restricting our actions, and it suited us perfectly.

(But, still, spending time with Harry is my ultimate favourite.)

I stole a glance at Harry next to me and saw him frozen in place with his mouth opened, but he soon snapped back to reality and sighed.

Harrison: … That’s fine, no?

My cheeks started to burn when I noticed that his ears were red although he tried to hide his face.

Harrison: What are you turning bright red for?

Kate: P-Pardon me. 

Harry took my hand with his usual carefree smile, our fingers intertwined.

Harrison: … Being with you makes me happy too.

Kate: What…

Harrison: Was that a lie or the truth?

Kate: … It’d be nice if it were the truth.

Harry pulled the hand he was holding.

Harrison: Then enjoy yourself to the fullest without worries. I’ll do the same. 

We spent our date looking at clothes and going to a cafe, but…

…

Kate: Are you sure that’s all you want for your present? 

The book in Harry’s hand was a recently published mystery novel.

Harrison: Yeah this is what I wanted the most. Thanks.

(As expected, he chose something that doesn't cost much.)

He seemed to notice my disappointment that he chose an inexpensive present. 

Harrison: Isn't it the sentiment that counts, and not the price? 

Kate: That’s true, but… 

Harrison: All that matters is that you bought it for me. 

Harrison: Besides… I’ve already received more than enough from you.

(What does he mean by that?) 

When I cocked my head in puzzlement at Harry’s words, he stroked my hair fondly.

Harrison: Give it a good thought, okay?

He took his hand off my hair and held my hand.

Harrison: Alright, what’s next?

Gazing at Harry’s profile under the light of the setting sun, I took a deep breath.

(It’s okay, he hasn't seen through my “lie”.)

(I hope this lie remains hidden from him for the rest of the remaining hours.)

…

Afterwards, we enjoyed the dishes Victor prepared for Harry’s pre-birthday celebration.

…

Harrison: We’ve been out and about all day. 

Kate: Are you exhausted?

Harrison: A little, but it's not too bad. 

Kate: Fufu… I feel the same.

Kate: I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

Harrison: Yeah. 

Kate: Eh…

Harrison: What’s wrong?

Kate: Nothing… I was just surprised to hear you say that you’re looking forward to it…

(Harry has always been one to think that he doesn't deserve to celebrate his birthday.) 

No amount of imagining how his past birthdays must’ve felt like to him would make me truly understand.

Last year, I tried my best to make his birthday special without having to lie to him,

(But he didn't say that he was looking forward to his next birthday.)

Knowing Harry now thought of his birthday as something to look forward to filled me with so much joy, I felt a twinge in my nose.

Harrison: … Sorry to interrupt your emotional moment, but can I have what I want the most?

Kate: Whoa!

Harry suddenly pulled my arm, making me lose my balance and fall onto him.

He gently caressed my waist as he held me close enough to hear his heartbeat. 

Harrison: … I want you. May I?

I nearly nodded in response to Harry’s whisper in my ear,

Kate: N-Not yet! 

Harrison: … You're hiding something from me, aren't you? 

Right when I thought I was in trouble, there was a knock on the door.

Kate: Be right there!

Harrison: Huh…?

I swiftly got out of bed and went into the hallway where a maid handed a tea trolley to me.

I expressed my thanks to her before pushing the trolley into the room and parking in front of Harry, who stared wide-eyed at it from the bed. 

Kate: Harry! Happy birthday!

Harrison: What’s with that cake? 

His eyes fixed onto the six-tiered cake on the tea trolley with the cake we baked together at the very top. 

Kate: … I’m sorry, Harry. I lied to you.

I raised a finger.

Kate: The truth is, I had Crown bake the other five tiers.

Kate: But I knew that if we did the same thing we did last year, you’d figure it out.

Kate: That’s why, this year, I decided to make a cake together so that you wouldn't find out about it. 

While Harry remained astonished, I pulled out a refined black box I had kept hidden. 

Harrison: … What’s that? 

Kate: There’s one more thing I hid from you. Actually, I’ve already bought you a birthday present.

I opened the box to reveal a mint coloured fountain pen.

Kate: I knew you wouldn’t choose something expensive for your present.

Kate: … But I wanted to give you a proper present.

Kate: I thought that if I had everything prepared in advance and did the same things with you, you wouldn't realise it.

Kate: Looks like I succeeded! 

Harry’s lips curled into a smile as he gazed at my triumphant expression.

Harrison: You really are something else…

He caressed my cheek with his palm. 

Harrison: … You’re always surpassing my expectations. 

Harrison: I did think you were hiding something from me, but…

Harrison: If you were to do the same thing again, I wouldn't be able to figure it out just by looking into your eyes. 

Despite his words, Harry looked happy and I held the hand stroking my cheek.

Kate: Let’s dig in, Harry. 

I fed Harry a piece of cake with a fork, and he placed a hand on the back of my head and pulled me in for a kiss.

Kate: Mm, why?

While I was distracted by his non-stop sweet kisses, I felt his hand untie the ribbons on the back of my blouse,

Kate: Are we not eating the cake—

Harrison: We’re eating it together now, aren’t we?

Kate: This isn’t eating!

Harry was being more impatient than usual and I felt like I was going to drown in the sweet moment,

(But I must say it to him.)

Kate: P-Please wait a minute! 

Harrison: … What? 

He wore a dissatisfied look, but I straightened up and spoke.

Kate: Happy birthday. I’m glad I could spend it together with you again this year.

Kate: … What do you think of my lie?

After blinking in silence for a brief moment, Harry pulled me into a tight hug.

Harrison: … I used to think that someone like me didn't deserve to have his birthday celebrated properly. 

Harrison: The lying fox’s fated ending isn't a happy one. No matter which fairytale, the fox is always the hated one. 

In fairytales, the fox was a symbol of deceit.

I was well aware that none of the tales had happy endings for the foxes.

Harrison: … But all of that changed when you came into my life.

Harrison: There’s no one who would be happier about my birthday than myself, except for you. That’s why it doesn't feel bad to have been lied to.

I felt Harry chuckle on my shoulder and narrowed my eyes.

Kate: I’ll still be here to celebrate your birthday with you next year, and every year after. 

Harrison: Any birthday with you by my side is the best birthday of all.

Kate: Really…?

Harrison: You’ll find out from now on, whether that’s the truth or a lie.

Harrison: … You’ll still be by my side next year and every year after, right? 

I intended to remain by his side to find that out and be the first person to celebrate every one of his birthdays from now on,

Harrison: I told you, didn’t I?

Harry removed his shirt and his lips drew close— 

Harrison: — Any birthday with you by my side is the best birthday of all.

Kate: Ah… 

Last year, I wasn’t able to truly believe those words.

(I wasn't confident that my presence alone would be enough to make his birthday the best one ever.)

(... But I understand it now.)

This is the truth from you, a person who always lies. 

[maespri]

your turn to die characters ranked by how painful their death was (and why)

okay. crazy title, i KNOW. but this was actually so interesting to talk and think about. at least for me.

spoilers ahead, and TRIGGER WARNING. this post is going to go into detail about each death. it’s going to get gory and upsetting. if you don’t think you can handle hearing about that, please keep scrolling!

everything is under the cut, because this post is LONG, i'm warning you now.

some backstory: i have a special interest in anatomy and physiology, and i've always thought about how the different deaths in your turn to die worked. my wonderful friend @lovivelle and i talked about this topic extensively last night and they made this tier list with me! so, here's the ranking and explanations!

this ranking ONLY covers HUMAN deaths, because dolls/dummies do not feel pain.

quick glossary: exsanguination: death caused by bleeding out hemorrhaging: bleeding necrosis: cell/tissue death hypoxia: inadequate oxygen supply hypovolemic: loss of fluid in the body, often referring to blood or water shock: life-threatening condition where the body does not have enough blood circulating through it crush syndrome: medical condition where skeletal muscle is crushed for a prolonged time, resulting in shock and organ failure hematemesis: vomiting up blood hemoptysis: coughing up blood TBI: traumatic brain injury immolation: death by burning; being burned alive

the tier list:

OUCH!! (most painful):

nao: nao's death involves her ribcage being crushed. i put her at number one for what i hope are obvious reasons. for starters, her death is drawn-out, making the pain last even longer. while her ribcage is being crushed, any internal organs are being crushed as well. her bones are probably splintering and breaking off and piercing her insides and organs. overall... just horrible pain. official cause of death: internal hemorrhaging and irreparable damage to organs.

kurumada: kurumada's death involved being crushed (between two walls), which is similar to nao's. i would put their pain levels as being equal to each other, but kurumada's has the potential to have been less painful than nao's, because we don't know how quickly the walls crushed his body. if they were moving slowly, the pain would've been drawn-out and agonizing, and in that case, i would make the argument that his death was more painful than nao's. but if it was very quick, he would've just felt blinding pain in his entire body for a few seconds before it would end. we do have to keep in mind that kurumada is clearly quite muscular however, which probably provided some resistance against the walls, but only served to draw out his pain even further. official cause of death: muscle necrosis, internal hemorrhaging, and irreparable damage to internal organs due to crush syndrome.

either way, both definitely experienced, in my opinion, the most painful deaths in the game.

YOWZA! (very painful):

mishima: mishima's death results from his collar slowly heating up and burning his neck until his head disconnects from it. i don't even have the words to describe how painful this would be. the fact that the collar heats up slowly and it is drawn out only makes it worse. if you've ever burned yourself before anywhere on your body, you know how painful it is. imagine that pain centralized around your neck. mishima might have the fortune of his nerves being burned off after a certain amount of time, which would mean he wouldn't feel anything (think third-degree burns burning through to muscle, tissue, and nerve endings). but at that point, because the burning is around his neck and your neck contains- A) your spine/spinal cord and B) your trachea, which allows you to breathe- anyway and burning it in half would definitely kill you, he may be dead before he even has time to not feel any pain. either way, this shit would hurt so bad. official cause of death: cerebral hypoxia due to decapitation.

hinako: hinako technically has two deaths, but we ranked her based off of her being drilled. a lot of questions actually arose when my friend and i were talking about the drill deaths, because we don't know the speed at which the drills move. i mean, whether they're moving quickly or slowly, it would still obviously hurt- but the faster the drill, the quicker the death, which would make it less painful. being drilled would be unbearably painful for the sole fact that she might be alive for a lot of the drilling until it reaches any vital organs. no matter what, it'd be very painful. official cause of death: hard to say for certain, but would most likely be from exsanguination... y'know, from her body being split in half by a giant drill.

kugie (kanna's sister): my friend and i were FLOORED when we looked into kugie's death. in the game, i don't think we get a canonical answer specifically as to how she dies, but in the manga, we do. kugie and kanna have the same first trial as joe and sara, but they don't succeed. in it, kugie's bed literally snaps and essentially folds her in half. in the image from the manga, we can see blood flying out from the bed (implying it happened very quickly, because if it were slow, the blood would instead drip and flow), and kugie's hand sticking out between the two slabs of the bed. i think this death is the most painful out of the entire "YOWZA!" category because kugie was probably alive and in immense pain for at least a few seconds or even minutes after the bed snapped. if i had to speculate official cause(s) of death:

i would guess her lumbar vertebrae (basically the bottom discs of the spine) and spinal cord snapped, cutting off sensation and sending her into shock.

if she was folded in half, her legs would have quickly shot up, meaning her torso was likely unnaturally slammed into by both them and the bed, and sustained massive trauma. this would cause internal hemorrhaging and damage to her organs.

the blood spurting out of the bed was likely from her head. i'm a teenage girl, likely the same height or around the same height as kugie, and when i bend in half, my face is level with my knees. knowing this, her knees probably slammed into her face and broke her skull, causing a TBI.

the combination of all of that would have first caused terrible pain for, like i said, at least a few seconds or minutes- we don't see how extensive the damage really was, so i can't say for certain... but yeah.

aughhh (painful):

joe: joe's death is really interesting to think about, because upon first glance, you might think it's one of the most painful- but there are a few things i considered with him. his death is a result of wrigglers draining the blood out of his body. because we don't know how large the wrigglers are, i can't say how painful it would be when they enter his body- but i'd have to guess they're on the smaller side, like little tubes, because if they were big, they would have difficulty sucking out his blood due to how small blood vessels are. it would hurt horribly to have the wrigglers enter his body and drain the blood. we don't know if they moved around through his blood vessels- if they did, that would definitely exacerbate the pain- or if it was more just like getting blood drawn. but what i considered with him, the thing that makes his death less painful than the others, is the fact that he would probably pass out long before he's even fully dead. the amount of blood he's losing at such a rapid pace would first make him dizzy and disoriented before he just... passes out. his entire body would start shutting down very quickly and he wouldn't even be awake for it. his body would give up on transporting blood to the extremities and non-vital organs and shift only to transporting what little blood it can to keep vital organs running. when that blood runs out, the heart will stop being able to pump enough blood throughout the body and to the brain, and joe would actually be dead. so... yeah. official cause of death: hypovolemic shock resulting in organ failure.

shin: shin dies after being fatally injured by the death game's security system. while it's unclear exactly how the security system killed him, i believe he was stabbed/impaled somehow. there are a few questions regarding exactly where he was stabbed, but i assume he was hit somewhere in the torso because he has blood coming out of his mouth. if you don't know:

blood coming out of the mouth can be a result of haematemesis (vomiting up blood), which is where blood wells up in the stomach/digestive tract due to trauma in that area

it can also be a result of haemoptosis (coughing up blood), which results from being stabbed in the lungs/trachea due to trauma in that area

my guess is he was stabbed in the stomach, because if he were stabbed in the lungs, he'd be coughing and frothing at the mouth struggling to breathe. if i'm remembering correctly, he's also shown to be clutching his abdomen after turning on the joe AI, so... my money is definitely in the stomach.

which, you guessed it, would hurt. a lot. and there's no workaround. he's strong enough to drag himself to the rubble room and turn on an AI before dying. he would've been in blinding pain that entire time before dying.

official cause of death: exsanguination.

reko: reko technically has three canonical deaths, which made her hard to rank. i'll cover them all.

strangulation (hanging by collar): being hung is painful, but i think people underestimate how terrifying it is too. reko would have been terrified and in immense pain for a few minutes before dying. everything in her neck would be getting crushed and pressed on by the collar thanks to gravity. overall... awful death. official cause of death: cerebral hypoxia due to strangulation.

stabbed: same as what i said for shin. terrible pain for however long until she ultimately bleeds out. official cause of death: exsanguination.

fake-reko falling headfirst onto a spike: this one's... interesting! mainly because i think she would actually just be dead instantly. if the spike pierces her brain, she won't even really have time to process "ow!" before just. being dead. official cause of death: severe TBI resulting in death.

owie (painful, but not as painful as others):

q-taro: q-taro is stabbed in the back by mai and slowly bleeds to death over the course of the chapter. the reason i put him so low is because he would definitely be in some pain, but i don't think mai stabbed him very well (no offense girl). he's able to walk around, talk, and do stuff with the others after being stabbed, at least for a little while. it's difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly killed him because of this. i'd imagine his body began repairing the stab wound in his back, but ultimately, blood loss and the disruption to everything surrounding his spine (because mai stabs him in the back) is probably what killed him. depending on how deep mai's knife was, the blade may have even pierced or grazed internal organs such as q-taro's heart or a lung. his body probably put most of its focus on keeping his internal organs running whilst simultaneously trying to repair them, which tired him out over the course of the chapter, before it ultimately couldn't keep up with the amount of blood being lost. a hasty bandaging job using an office first-aid kit is not ideal for stab wounds.

*edit: this person corrected me regarding q-taro's death! i still think the severity of his injury could have killed him before the coffin cremation system actually killed him, plus the information is interesting, so i'm keeping it. but technically, being burned alive is actually what killed him. ouch.

official cause of death: exsanguination OR immolation.

kai: kai's death is kind of up in the air in terms of the specifics, but we know he kills himself during the first main game by cutting his arms. in order for this to kill him, and for him to have bled out as fast as he did, he likely cut his axillary and/or brachial artery. your brachial artery runs down the front of your bicep and is an extension of your axillary artery, which is in your upper arm/armpit. if kai cut deeply into both his brachial arteries, and/or his axillary arteries, he would bleed to death very quickly. it would be really painful, but i think adrenaline and the probability he'd pass out immediately would certainly be on his side here, making it at least a little less painful. either way, he dies quite fast, so. official cause of death: exsanguination.

uncertain (i'm not sure!):

this category is for the characters who have one or more variables that make it difficult or impossible to determine how painful their death was.

kanna: first of all, the way kanna dies is impossible in real life. lets just get that out of the way. you cannot have flowers sprout out of your body. that immediately makes it impossible to tell how painful it would be for her.

if i were to suspend my disbelief for this, however, here's what i have to say about it:

safalin says kanna is numb during her death, which would instantly give her a pain rating of zero. kanna is screaming during her death, but given what safalin says, that doesn't necessarily prove she's in pain. she could just be screaming out of fear.

if she weren't numb, yeah, she would be in a lot of pain. flowers and vines growing out of your body, poking out of your skin, running through your insides- that would hurt insanely bad.

but the fact that:

this death isn't possible in real life

kanna is presumably numb during her death

we don't specifically know how the seeds are working/moving inside her body

kind of made it impossible to rank her.

if i had to guess a cause of death, i'd guess severe disruption by the vines to her internal organs and processes is what ultimately killed her.

hayasaka: hayasaka's head is presumably cut off by a swinging axe. there are two reasons we put him in 'uncertain'; we don't know how sharp the blade of the axe is, and we don't know the velocity it's swinging at.

if the blade is swinging slowly and is very dull, it would take a few swings to fully cut off hayasaka's head, which would make it incredibly painful.

but if the blade is swinging very quickly and is super sharp, his death would be instantaneous, making it essentially painless.

so it's difficult to say, but either way:

official cause of death: decapitation.

ranmaru: ranmaru's death is in 'uncertain' because we

don't know exactly how that happened to his stomach

hear him talk about how he's numb to it

don't know how long he's been sitting there

i imagine he was in some pain and just putting up a front, but we just don't know for sure. and like i just said, we don't know what specifically killed him or how. we just see a wound in his stomach.

probable cause of death: exsanguination/hemorrhaging.

anzu: anzu's was between 'uncertain' and 'so quick.' we see spikes piercing her body, but the angle makes it difficult to tell exactly where they pierce, or how sharp they are, etc. if the spikes didn't hit her face/brain, she probably felt intense pain for some time from the neck-down before rapidly bleeding to death. if the spikes got her head, she'd die instantly. so.

probable cause of death: exsanguination? TBI? damage to internal organs/processes?

ranger: according to ranger's wiki, his human form was stabbed by an assassin. not nearly enough information to rank him with certainty.

cause of death: stabbed?

so quick (too fast to be painful):

both mai and alice's deaths were so fast, they fell into this category.

mai: mai shoots herself in the head. her death would have been immediate and painless since she shot herself in the brain.

official cause of death: fatal TBI.

alice: alice's abdomen explodes. if that happens, you're probably going to feel a very brief flash of pain before immediately dying, because the damage would be so extensive (shrapnel exploded his stomach, but there was undoubtedly collateral damage to his heart, lungs, and other organs around there). he would have been in shock if he did somehow manage to survive for a few more seconds. pain would be minimal or nonexistent in my opinion due to the sheer severity of the injury. and in terms of him being hung in chapter 3, it's the same as reko.

official cause of death: shock resulting from traumatic abdominal injury.

thats it!

if you for god knows what reason read all this, thank you! i'm honestly only posting it kind of for myself and my friend to look back on if i ever want to think about it again, but maybe someone will find it interesting.

questions, comments, concerns (of which i'm sure there are many)- i'm an open book. i'm not a professional by any means, but i am insane. bye!

[pinkrelish]

do you think once miss mouse and eddie were in an established relationship she’d bake cakes for his and adrie’s birthday every year?? i feel like she’d go full out for adrie like full on multi tiered princess cake and the first time she does it eddie and his baby just go absolutely feral in the best way possible

ps typ is my favourite slow burn EVER i love it withh all my heart ur so talented

today's my birthday so it seems fitting to answer this! wc: 496

morning dawns soft blue in a kitchen warmed by low lights, and orange coils. a kettle boils water too hot for a third cup of instant coffee, and cooked sugar enriched by vanilla bakes through the small apartment. suffocating heat from the oven on the early june day breaks sweat on your forehead as you re-whip the frosting you made an hour ago, plastic bowl in your arms still cold from the fridge. the yellow cake cooling on the rack simple, homemade. jack of all trades, master of none, it's nothing impressive, just something to tide adrie and neighborhood kids over until the big party on the weekend.

still, when your big snoring man shuffles in with a bedhead halo and plaid pajama pants with one drawstring longer than the other, his raw wonder catches the husky sleep deep in his throat—"aw, baby, what're you doin'?"

you shrug, too shy to admit how early you woke up to do this, suddenly embarrassed with your effort to make a good impression on his daughter's first birthday with you in her life. he had no clue what you had planned for her real cake, and already your cheeks went hot from the lovesick shine flooding his eyes, big softy about to cry while he scratched his stomach under his shirt.

"you're too much," he says in a shake of his head. too much on a thursday morning when her party comes saturday afternoon.

his bare feet scatter the balloons creeping across the carpeted floor, blown up by him late last night until he felt faint, and ready to be popped in the energetic rush of cake for breakfast. on his way to you, he passes the one wrapped gift of a latch hook rug kit beneath the happy birthday banner you hung crooked even with his help. it was a creativity driven present to keep her busy before she got her big girl bike in two days time. training wheels most definitely included.

any second now adrie would run through the streamers you both taped to the top of her door frame, so eddie made quick work of putting the frosting aside and smothering kisses atop your head, wielding his dad strength to hug you tight to his chest, steering you into a twirl by his hold on your wrists, rocking from foot to foot until your back was crushed to his front.

tucking his chin to mash his nose to your hair, his heavy hum vibrates through your skull as he surveys the usual munson fare mingling with your new traditions, slowing your bodies to a gentle sway until his sigh empties from his lungs. "you mean everything to us, you know that?"

"i know that," you answer so softly it was lost in the bubbling hiss from the kettle before he shut off the burner. "you're everything to me, too."

"thank you, baby."

"thank you, handsome." thank you for this moment, this family, this love.

[gay-dorito-dust]

For requests: cuddling my with syzoth because he’s cold please and thank you???

‘You comfortable there sweetheart?’ You asked Syzoth, who was wearing a thick sweater, tucked tightly under a blanket, cuddled up against you to the point where every part of his body was practically cloaking you from sight; His eyes were closed in content as he throughly enjoyed basking in your warmth with a satisfied and sluggish hum.

He looked so cosy all half asleep and all that you couldn’t help but melt at how at peace he was looked resting on top of you. It took a while for either of you to get where you were now, but with a little bit of time and patience it was made all the obstacles you’ve overcome all the more worthwhile, especially if it meant getting the golden opportunity to experience the softer, more quieter moments of your relationship. A soft smile would grace your lips every time his grip on your body tightened as though he was making sure you were still with him, or how with even the smallest amount of movement from you and him grunting in distain, burying his face deeper into your neck whilst applying more of his body weight onto you to keep you in place.

‘When I am ever not comfortable with you my love,’ Syzoth murmurs sleepily into your skin, pressing one, two, three kisses there and up to the underside of your jaw before going back to his previous position within the crook of your neck. ‘Are you falling asleep on me Syzoth?’ You asked rhetorically, finding yourself smiling once more as you felt his breathing even out and his muscles relax beneath your hands that were splashed across his back from underneath his sweater; indicating to you that he was on the verge of falling into a light sleep. ‘Perhaps.’ Syzoth replied with sleep heavy on his mind. ‘But that is only because I find your presence soothing.’ He adds on, making you scoff.

‘That’s an oddly fancy way of saying you love my bodily warmth.’ You joked when in reality you loved being Syzoth’s personal heater for when the days grow colder, happy to let him leech on your warmth if it meant engaging in cuddles sessions throughout the day. Syzoth wasn’t one to complain either as he genuinely had meant it when he said that your presence helped soothed his mind. Sure your bodily warmth was a bonus but it was the idea that you’d be the first person he’d get to see when he wakes up, and the last thing he got to see before drifting to sleep that brought his worries to a temporary stop. And yet it was practically mandatory for him to keep a firm grip on you throughout the night as a constant reminder that you weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Not without him sensing the shift of your body at least.

Syzoth smiles. ‘I’m not hearing you complain in being able to have me like this. If anything I think you look forward to this every time with how reluctant you are in letting me go sometimes.’ He chuckles when he hears you huff, knowing he was in the right.

‘Alright, alright, you’re right now quit being such a smart arse and fall asleep.’ You said playfully, moving your head in order to press a kiss to his hair.

‘Only if you fall asleep with me.’ Syzoth said, already feeling himself enter the land of dreams where he’d await at the gates for you to come and join him.

‘I couldn’t think of anything on doing anything else…considering how I’m being very much pinned beneath you but we’re both well aware that I’d never complain about being under you.’ You provocatively said whisky fighting back the urge to fall asleep when you felt Syzoth softly pinch your side, ‘watch your tongue or this could very well end with us tiering out in another way that involves us getting close.’ He warns you, making you chuckle.

‘Sweet dreams Syzoth.’ You said, finally closing your eyes and the last thing you heard before sleep encased you was Syzoth saying; ‘I shall see you in your dreams my love. Wait for me.’

[goosewriting]

Glad to hear requests are open! I just wanted to say I love your inquis!cal fics :D

I was wondering if you could write something with Cal? Lovesick Inquis!Cal hunting an in-denial-of-feelings-for-him Jedi!reader is always a favorite of mine. Literally just Cal pinning the reader down and insisting how they’d make such a great team if only reader would join him. Just anything really, being at his mercy- ugh.

Feel free to write it or not, I don’t mind, just figured I’d put it out there :)

Loth-cat and Mouse

summary: as reader escapes from an inquisitor, old sparks might reignite despite the danger.

relationship: Inquisitor Cal Kestis x gn!Jedi!reader

warnings: mentions of death and murder 

word count: 3.6k

A/N: top tier request anon, tysm! writing the whole force shenanigans was my favourite part tbh. i’ve been meaning to explore that aspect for so long, battle of the will and all, and i’ll definitely be doing it again! tell me what you think pls c: 

[all masterlists] 🪶 [star wars masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Living in hiding when the galaxy thinks you’re dead is easy. It comes with the privilege of being virtually invisible in a galaxy that seeks to oppress and exploit every living soul.

Ever since escaping the Clones turning on the Jedis as a Padawan, and the rise of the Empire, you’ve lived in hiding, as most of the surviving Jedis did. And for a long time, you were successful. That is, until an Inquisitor picked up your scent and started hunting you down.

This went on for two years, and you somehow managed to evade her, always being a step ahead. You only came face to face with the Inquisitor twice: the first time, when you looked the purplish skinned Mirialan in her yellow eyes for the first time, and the second when you knew what you had to do.

Sitting in the dusty booth of a run-down tavern somewhere in the Outer Rim, your shoulders slump forward as you remember how you had felt her life essence vanish through the Force like a cloud of spores disappearing, carried away by the wind. You knew you couldn’t get through with it with your own hands, so you rigged an old warehouse with so many explosives that not even the strongest Jedi Master would be able to escape. Using yourself as bait, standing by the entrance to the building, that was the last time you’d see her. Your plan worked, and the whole thing came down on her. So much so that it almost took you out as well, but you survived despite the injuries. You hope that in the eyes of the Force, you had freed her from her pain. Maybe somewhere deep inside she was thankful.

Or that was what you’d keep telling yourself to be able to sleep at night. 

It’s been a couple of months since then, and you’ve doubled your efforts at staying hidden, as you don’t think you can take another Inquisitor hunt. Not because you can’t win against them. You already did, and that’s the problem. When you first realised an Inquisitor was trailing you, you were afraid. But now, after defeating her, the thought of going out there and turning around the hunter and hunted roles suddenly seems… exhilarating. But that would make you no better than a Sith, would it? Your face contorts in discomfort as you can practically hear your Master’s disappointed voice at what has become of you.

“I thought I taught you better.”

You sigh. Yeah, you did. But you trained me to be a peacekeeper, not an outlaw. It’s a kill or get killed world out here. It probably always has been, but we were shielded from it, had a roof over our heads, clothes to wear and food on our plates. You smile bitterly to yourself, the hood of your cape casting a shadow over your face as you twirl a toothpick between your fingers. Who’d have thought that we had it better during the war than afterwards. 

Your motions come to a sudden halt and you involuntarily snap the thin piece of wood in two as you feel the air in the tavern change, turning impossibly cold. The constant chatter doesn’t stop though, the few customers currently in the tavern continue on unaware of the shift. 

Rising up to your feet quickly but without making a noise, you beeline towards the bar, turning a sharp corner into the kitchen and then towards the back exit you know of. You can hear some modulated voices back in the main room; Purge Troopers. And where there are black armoured troopers… you don’t need to look to know what else is there. 

Once out of view from the main area, you quicken your pace, exiting the place with one goal in mind: getting as far away as possible. With your mind reeling, you skilfully evade every person and droid in your way so as not to make a fuss or cause noise by something falling to the ground. Mentally, you go through every interaction from the last several weeks, trying to find where you did something careless that gave you away. But you’ve been so thorough with your recons, moving every few days, never staying in one place too long. 

How did they find me? 

This question echoes through your mind over and over as you take step after step. The destination of your brisk walk doesn’t really matter, you just need to put as much distance as possible between yourself and whatever hound they’ve sent after you. 

It isn’t until you suddenly feel your burning lungs and aching legs asking for a break that you realise how far you’ve walked, and at what speed. You ran all the way back to your hideout. Agh, stupid! you reprimand yourself, smacking your hand to your forehead. it must have been an automatic response to come to your current “safe spot”, but if they find you here, you wouldn’t be able to come back to retrieve your supplies. In the few days you’ve been here, you’ve collected several machinery parts that you were planning on selling, but that plan just went down the drain. So you pack up whatever you can carry, mentally saying goodbye to not only the place and everything you’re leaving behind, yet again, but also the potential money you could have made which you desperately needed. With a sigh and a mental promise to do better next time, you head out to the port. Not the nearest one, though; the troopers probably have that one surrounded and monitored. You’re going to the one two towns over. It will take a while to get there, but it’s the safer choice. 

The whole way there, you do your mental meditation exercises to keep your Force signature hidden. The familiarity of it also helps you calm down a little and recentre yourself. 

After what felt like half an eternity, you’re finally at the port, and you go to buy a ticket off the planet. You’re relieved that at first glance there don't seem to be any Stormtroopers doing patrols out here. There is a bit of a line at the ticket shop though, so you stay a little further back by some crates and equipment waiting to be loaded into the cargo ships. Hiding out of sight, you wait until you can approach the window directly. 

One by one you watch the people in the queue leave, and when there’s only one person left, you take a quick look around to make sure no Imperial has arrived. The coast is clear, and you take a step in that direction. Except that your boots remain stuck to the ground. All at once, you’re surrounded, no, enveloped in that cold, eerie aura from the tavern earlier, which holds you in place. You take a gulp of air much like a fish out of water, and you try to turn your head around when you hear a modulated chuckle behind you, but you’re frozen in place.

“Going to the port further away even though it cost you more time. Bold choice,” the modulated voice of a man says, and your heart feels like it’s about to leap out of your throat. 

This is it. They found me, you think to yourself, trying your hardest to slip your hand to your belt underneath your robe to reach your weapon, but to no avail.

“Don’t worry. All the troopers are probably still by the tavern searching the whole village,” he says, and you can feel yourself slowly being turned towards him. You were ready to spit in his face and curse him out, but the image before you catches you completely off-guard. While the red visor of his sleek helmet is practically unmistakable regarding his line of work, he threw on some sort of poncho to cover his armour. It’s almost comical, and were it not for the imminent danger you find yourself in, you probably would have laughed a bit.

“Everything has been so boring lately,” he continues, rolling his head back and to the side to make his point. Then, his visor locks onto your face, and he stays silent for a moment. “When I read what you did to the Eleventh Sister, though, I knew I had to come check you out for myself.”

“W-why,” you manage to croak out. His Force grip is starting to get tighter and it's getting harder for you to breathe.

He slightly shrugs, one of his shoulders leaning onto the big supply crate that shields you both from view. “As I said, I was bored. And you get a head start, so…” He pulls the poncho over his head, letting it fall down to the ground unceremoniously. “Entertain me.” 

As he turns on his heels, he finally lets go and you can fill your lungs again. You don't know what just happened, but you’re not about to waste this chance to escape, so you beeline to the ticket shop and buy your way off the planet. Before boarding the ship, you take one last look over your shoulder; the Inquisitor is nowhere to be seen. Or felt. 

From then on, a strange game of Loth-cat and mouse starts. You’d escape, the Inquisitor somehow following your trail, even though you took great care to stay anonymous. Only days after arriving at a new location, you’d find his Purge Troopers looking for you. Every time you thought you might be able to get a break and rest at one place a little longer, the Inquisitor would reach out in the Force, poking at you ever so slightly, just as a reminder that he’s still there. 

You’re exhausted.

People who aren’t Force-sensitive emit a certain aura, while those who are able to tap into and manipulate it, manifest in different ways. Most seem to have an extra set of long, immaterial limbs, able to scan their surroundings. Sometimes it’s like a flowy cape, fluttering around the person with grace; sometimes it’s more like thick and heavy vines, dragging themselves around and scratching everything with their thorns. 

Inquisitors have a very strong and rather aggressive presence in the Force, but you’ve never quite felt a signature as distinctly intense as the one currently hunting you. His whole essence feels like an icy mist, spreading quickly around him and seeping into every corner, looking for his victims. It starts out slow, unnoticeable at first, but by the time you realise what’s surrounding you, it’s too late. Once the victim is found, the mist solidifies into ice, sticking their feet to the ground, rendering them unable to move. The Inquisitor stretches out his arm in their direction, and the mist becomes more dense, constricting their airways, squeezing out every last drop of oxygen agonisingly slowly. 

At some point, his presence starts haunting you at night. In the few hours of restless sleep you allow yourself while on the run, you find him to be there more and more often. Worn down by how long the chase has been going on, your guard starts to fall. Suddenly you don’t dread it anymore, the cold shudders as you walk through a market, and the icy mist following you into your dreams. Not just his Force signature but his whole presence as a whole, it’s so strong, it’s almost intoxicating. The more he keeps finding you, the more you keep catching yourself almost looking for his presence.

Much to your surprise and not delight, you realise his manipulation game is working.

It doesn’t take much longer until you finally come face to face with the Inquisitor. You know it’s too late to escape him, and you don’t know if you can hold your own against him in your current state, but you have no choice.

As if the exhaustion wasn’t enough, you’re currently stuck in a tropical forest, and you can feel the dirt and debris after running through the thick vegetation sticking to you, a thin sheen of sweat on your skin. The only sound you hear is your ragged breathing and the sounds of the jungle. You know the Inquisitor is not far behind you, but he’s been moving surprisingly silently given his armour. More than ever, he feels like a predator. 

Arriving at a clearing in the forest, you stop. Deep in your gut you can feel it: it’s time. Whatever happens, only one of you will walk out of here. So, after taking a deep breath and wiping off your face with the back of your sleeve, you turn around. 

All this time, you’ve tried not to imagine what he looked like underneath his helmet, as you knew it would only humanise him and make it harder for you to fight the man. So when you’re met with a face instead of a red visor, you’re surprised. Whatever mental image you might have had of him, you were not expecting him to look as handsome and young as he did. There’s also a strange air of familiarity which you can’t place, but decide to ignore for the time being.

Sizing each other up from either side of the clearing, you merely stand there, looking at each other. He moves his hand and you instinctively reach for your sabre, but he casually adjusts his gloves, weapon stil sheathed.

“You know,” he says with a slight chuckle. “I only ever came after you because I recognised your name. I personally requested to pick up where the Eleventh Sister left off.” 

Your brows furrow at his confession, which feels very much misplaced. He talks like he’s expecting you to be flattered or honoured at his words.

You deny ever having seen him, and he seems a little dejected at that. Kneeling down, he picks a little blue flower from the shrubs, and takes a couple steps in your direction. Offering it to you, he calls you by a nickname that you haven’t heard in what feels like several lifetimes. 

That’s when you suddenly remember: you had met him once, on Coruscant, when Padawans from all over the galaxy would go to the temple and be shown the archives. You were from two different home planets, there was no reason for you to have ever crossed paths, yet fate would have you attending the tour through the archives on the same day. All Padawans got to spend some time together, mainly to train and spar with each other. You can’t really remember anyone else you met that day, and the events are pretty blurry as is, but you do distinctly remember a Padawan with wild copper hair and freckles that looked like the constellations the Jedi taught you about. You and him would steal glances at each other the whole day, until finally he approached you, offering you a little white flower he picked somewhere. Where exactly, you had no idea, given the lack of green spaces on the planet. 

“Cal. Cal Kestis,” you say as his name comes back to you, like it’s always been on the tip of your tongue, dormant. 

“Ah, so you do remember,” he smiles a little at that. You don’t take the flower from his hand though, so he flicks it away without a second thought.

”What did they do to you…” You shake your head in disbelief.

You mentally compare the sweet little boy with fiery hair that you had met that day, and try to superpose that image with the man now standing before you, and it’s just not possible. It’s not the same person any more. His eyes, once the colour of oceans and clear skies, now glow an angry yellow, his gaze piercing right through your soul.

Since coming face to face in the clearing, Cal’s presence in the Force has been as unmovable and strong as ever, so you had no choice but to mentally and emotionally shield yourself, like hiding behind a rock in a snowstorm, trying to avoid the relentless icy wind clawing at your exposed skin. But now that you know who he is, you’re certain there has to be something left, even if very deep within him. So you dig deep in your own heart for that short connection you had felt with him that day on Coruscant, and bring it back to the surface, holding onto it for dear life. You dig out the warmth, the safety, the certainty that those days used to have, using them as a shield to part the cold wind as you take step after step in the metaphorical snow towards Cal. 

Feeling the shift, Cal straightens up.

“What are you doing?” he questions.

You don’t answer immediately, holding his harsh gaze the best you can.

“I’m reaching out to you,” you say after a moment, the light of your Force finally strong enough to allow you to approach him without being knocked back by his icy aura. The dry leaves crunch under your feet as you take a step towards the Inquisitor.

To an outsider, this interaction would have looked like an intense staring contest. But if you allowed your dynamics in the Force to have an impact on the physical world, you two would have flattened the terrain around you both in an instant. 

During this battle of will and determination, which seems to go on forever, you shorten what little distance separates you from Cal. His whole body is tense, trying to keep his wits as you’re blinding him with your light. You wonder if there is a part in him that wants to give in, and that’s exactly what you’re trying to find within him. Stretching out your hand, you carefully cup his face. He flinches slightly in surprise, but doesn’t pull away.

“It’s not too late, Cal,” you say. Your voice is soft, contrasting the intensity in both your gazes. “Please come back.”

Now that you’re so close, you decide to drop the metaphorical shield you were holding up, exposing the warmth and joy from before to him. His icy wind almost knocks you back a couple of steps, but you let it wash over you. You inhale sharply as you let everything he’s throwing at you bounce off; his hate, his  anger, his pain. 

“Stop,” he demands almost breathlessly.

But you bring your other hand to his face too, holding him, as you cling onto the memory of your first meeting with him and try to emanate that light through his own shield wherever you find cracks. And you succeed, feeling how, for a split second, all his walls come crumbling down and all you’re left with is just a boy, scared and alone.

“Stop!” he yells, as his own hand reaches out this time, swatting yours away and harshly grabbing you by the throat. Pushing you back several steps until your back hits a tree, he holds you there, your own hands clawing at his wrists in an attempt to ease the pressure of his grip.

“Stop,” he repeats, much more collected this time. 

“You’re so deep in that dark cave, you forgot there’s an exit at all,” you say. “You don’t have to stay there, you know. Let me help you get back to the light.”

“Why would I want to leave?” He chuckles darkly. “Let me show you the way into the dark instead. There’s more here than you could ever know, so much power to be tapped into that you’re missing.”

He takes a moment to study your face, loosening his grip on you ever so slightly, which allows you to take a gulp of air. 

“Come with me,” he offers. ”You’ve already proven how powerful you are. Imagine how much more we could both accomplish if we joined forces.” 

“Me? Become like you?” You scoff. “I’d rather you kill me now.”

Cal hums, as if considering your suggestion for a moment. But he remains silent, with you still pinned to the tree. He doesn’t let go of you nor does he tighten his grip, leaving the next move to you instead. Your head spins, trying to figure out what to do.

He raises a brow at you, urging you to do or say something. You frown, conflicted.

“All this time I thought you were just playing a twisted game, coming after me until you got bored. And then you’d kill me. Now you’re trying to recruit me?”

“If I wanted you dead, you never would have even seen me coming,” he retorts with a bit of a snarl.  

Then he reaches out for the lightsabre at your belt, and one of your hands protectively grabs onto it before he can. Cal gives you a smug look as that’s exactly what he wanted, and placing his hand over yours, he guides your weapon up, pressing the unignited end into his ribcage. He’s essentially saying, ‘if you don’t want to come with me, you’ll have to kill me right now, right here.’

“Quite the conundrum we find ourselves in, huh,” he says after a moment, giving your hand a squeeze. “What’s stopping you?” 

“…Hope,” you answer rather unconvincingly, cringing at how corny it sounds.

He scoffs and lets go of your hand, which falls to your side still holding onto your weapon.

“Don’t worry, I can fix that.” 

Cal suddenly leans in, placing a lingering kiss on your cheek. 

“I’m looking forward to our next encounter,” he whispers into your ear, and a shudder runs down your spine. 

He lets go suddenly, your legs giving in, and you fall to the ground with a grunt as you take a couple deep breaths now that your airways aren’t constricted anymore.

As he walks away, Cal doesn’t turn back once. He picks up his helmet where he discarded it earlier, putting it on and disappearing amongst the trees.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

A/N2: part 2 anyone? 👀 let me know how you’d like the story to unfold!

A/N3: the amount of times i’ve written reader getting choked by inq!cal…….. i think i need to unpack something there

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings, @kalea-bane, @soka-writes-things, @padawancat97, @ivelostmyabilitytoeven, @alternatescififandomelover, @riddikulus-obsessions, @optimisticprime3, @starilicious, @lovelyygirl8, @cathyket, @wildefire, @ghostkestis, @reckoning-star

[gothamusing]

THE PENGUIN, EPISODE ONE. a collection of memes derived from episode one of the penguin series, for roleplaying purposes. feel free to edit as you see fit. do not steal. (18+).

i see you've made yourself at home.

what the fսck are you talking about?

you got some big shoes to fill.

you think i'm an idiot?

we keep a stash in the loft if you want a hit.

that's not why i'm here.

you know what i like most about you? you are who you are. you couldn't change if you tried.

i'm talking about revolutionizing the game.

fuck. look at you salivating.

this is power, right?

when i was kid, there was a gangster, real old-school type. he was a big deal.

you want me to be like some small-time asshоlе?

this is your dream!

you really think people'd make a float of your dumb face and march it down the street, chanting your goddamn name?

what a little bitch.

you messed with the wrong fucking guy on the wrong fucking night!

jesus, take a breath.

hey, look at me.

how far do you think you'd get?

you and me, we're in this together now.

look what you fucking made me do.

you're gonna do everything i say.

i feel better. you feel better?

you ever been to that corner mart, next to the... uh, coin-o-matic?

they still sell those slush puppies?

you alone?

i need an alibi. ideally, for the whole night.

sounds like we had fun.

i asked for extra pickles, and they give me two? so what, a normal amount of pickles is one? makes no goddamn sense.

the smart play here is to kill you and stuff you in the trunk with stinky, be done with both of youse.

if you step out of line just once, i swear to god, I'll gut you like a fսcking fish. do you understand?

we ain't got a lot of time.

we all got our own vices.

nine times out of ten, these top-tier guys wanna meet face-to-face to feel big, so i make myself small, they feel better about themselves, and i get to go back to work.

i'm messing with you.

maybe look for your sense of humor. it's gotta be here somewhere.

so, uh, we got something to celebrate, or what?

this is my operation, you can't just shut it down.

there's blood in the water, everyone knows it.

the last thing we need is a god damn gang war!

you will do as you're told.

you're free to leave.

at the end of the day, this is all about money, right?

it's good to see you.

you've really moved up in the world, haven't you?

we're long overdue for a catch-up, you and me.

let's get a bite to eat.

my father used to bring me here when i was a kid. he paid me to keep my elbows off the table.

you think they're wondering if it's really me?

what did the gazette call me?

if only i'd been a dutiful daughter.

are you nervous?

i'd hate for you to feel nervous around me.

despite what you might think, i don't blame you.

how do you know about his plan, and why on earth would you pitch it as your own?

he's keeping us both in the dark, and i don't know why.

he's got a penchant for drops. and booze and gambling. i'm pretty sure he's got a sеx thing, too.

i was actually drowning my sorrows with my lady friend last night.

i doubt anything will turn up, but it's worth a shot.

i'm probably just being crazy.

thanks for lunch, i'll get the next one.

you know. people underestimate you, but not me.

i've always known you were capable of more.

scan the code. see gotham's true face.

get the fuck outta here.

i ain't never taken anyone here before.

what're you doing here?

what do you mean what am i doing here? i came to see you.

i got you something. come here.

what did you do?

wait. was i expecting you?

we're gonna leave town for a while.

someone's here.

will you tell me first what i did to lose your respect?

it ain't safe for you here. you understand?

why'd you shoot him?

now, can we go please?

it was impulsive. it was stupid. is that what you wanna hear?

jesus, i'm trying to take care of you.

i can't risk it.

i can't risk you.

look at me.

don't you see, dear? what you did wasn't impulsive. it was instinctual.

you're so close now to having everything you ever wanted, everything you deserve.

this city is meant to be yours, sweetheart.

i've been where you are.

they don't even know what they got, 'cause they always had it.

i wanna offer my services to you and your family.

oh, you wanna throw stones?

from where i sit, and where you sit, i don't think you're in a position not to hear me out.

i could give you everything you need.

revenge don't come easy.

he was a dirty rat.

he played us both for fools.

but he's dead, and i'm here now, and i'm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime.

i know a lot more than people think.

you and me, we can tear down their fսcking empire from the inside out.

what is it you're really after?

i know who you are. i know what you are.

i don't work with people whose loyalty is for sale.

you think i forgot all the times you schmoozed me and my boys just to turn around and fսck us?

look, i can see you're upset. trust takes time. but this ain't bullshit.

it's good seeing you. you look good.

it's a terrible feeling, isn't it?

i just wonder how you see me.

that's what you wanted, right?

you are so good at talking your way out of things.

it's just you and me now, okay?

am i crazy?

tell me that i'm too emotional, and that i have an overactive imagination, and that i shouldn't take things so personally.

what the fuck is this?

you did good today.

didn't we agree the head alone would be the most poetic, and the pinky, the cherry on top?

yeah. at least (blank) got the message.

from here on out, there's no more playing it safe.

i'm gonna run this goddamn city.

[amourtoken]

im gonna fuel the fire and just note that matt follows some women that do cosplay on insta so hes gotta be into it. i also saw a tweet from him saying he likes fishnets and thigh high socks. again just stopping by to plant some seeds…. *wink wink*🫢

He's literally a fucking degenerate (100% gooner status I'm right don't even fight me) like-

If you're one of those cosplayer twt/onlyfans models? He's subscribed on EVERYTHING. you caught his eye when you did a renne faire elf themed set of videos (he's a lotr dude ofc he's into elves) but you only got hotter to him the more of your content he watched.

He spends SO FUCKING MUCH on you, like actually. You have a tier of subscribers sat up to where they can request videos from you for a certain amount and he's always sending well over $100 each time to get some niche ass content. You love seeing his requests come through cause for one you know the pay is good but two, he makes sure to remind you how pretty you are and how much he appreciates you doing this for him. It's your job but you do feel a Lil different about him than the average subscriber yk? He's basically your virtual sugar daddy.

His last request sent your way was him basically BEGGING for you to have some fishnets and thigh highs on with whatever skimpy ass lingerie you wanted and your elf ears. He gave you some creative liberty but made sure to mention he'd really really really like for you to say his name a few times while you're bouncing on a toy for him. Who are you to deny him? You already whine and cry when you're fucking yourself to the thought of him on your own so why not indulge him on camera?

once you sent the finished product to him he was completely unreachable to anyone for fucking hourssss. The vid was on loop and he found new things to salivate over every time he watched it, first it was how your thighs looked in those tights then how your ass looked while you were riding your oversized bad dragon toy but he kept losing focus on all of that hearing you begging for him to fuck you harder and to let you cum, whining abt how good he feels and how much you love his cock. He could skip watching the video and just get off to hearing you moan his name and trust, he's done that a few times too.

He doesn't even stop stroking after he cums at this point his head is thrown back against the pillows in his bed and he's using the mess spilling over his knuckles as lube to keep fucking his fist. He can't get over you, he'd do fucking anything to have you for a night and fuck you how you deserve. He gets so needy he ends up just messaging you directly and thanking you again, telling you how many times he's gotten off to it and how good you are for him. You indulge and start thanking him for being so sweet all the time and you're rlly laying it on thick. He's texting you with his phone in one hand and dick in the other cause even your vanilla responses are going straight between his legs.

You're totally aware and decide to make it so much worse for him by sending a couple short videos playing w your pussy in a skirt and he's fuckin done for. He's cum so many times by now it just hurts to keep going but he feels like he literally can't stop. He needs more, and feels like it's risky to ask but fuck he can't help it.

"I know you're probably gonna say no but I just cannot fucking get enough of you and I'd love to take you out sometime. Show you a good time then fuck you right. Please?"

Normally you'd say absolutely no this is strictly business and that's creepy but it's matt yk? How could you say no?

[copperbadge]

I came home last night and as I usually do, unpacked pretty much immediately; as I moved from room to room I kept being confused because parts of my home seemed weirdly clean. And then I'd remember "Oh yeah...because I cleaned it."

I did work on digital cleaning the entire time I was in Texas but it was tough to write about, mainly because I didn't get a ton of time to write in general. But getting back home again...

[ID: Two images of a three-tier metal cart from Ikea, the Rashult, fully assembled; the first shows it in the living room after being built, and the second show it in its new home under my kitchen worktable, next to a chest of drawers, filled with tupperware.]

I finally came to the conclusion that trying to keep all my tupperware in a cabinet simply wasn't working, so I bought a cart that I knew would fit under the table and finally got to assemble and fill it. Thanks @deesarrachi for suggesting this kind of cart on a previous post!

Assembling the cart and filling it with storage containers -- including sorting the containers to make sure no container went in without its lid -- took up pretty much an entire 52-minute episode of The Worst Idea of All Time, though I also used some of that time to scrub the grease off the kitchen hood and cover it with adhesive plastic that I can just change out every so often. And I changed the sheets on the bed since I needed to do laundry anyway, so tonight I go to bed with an organized tupperware shelf and new bedlinens, like I'm my own stereotypical 1950s housewife.

As we get to the end of the month I'm taking stock of what I got accomplished and while I didn't do some things I normally do (scrub the bathroom down and steam-clean some high-traffic areas, mainly) I did accomplish a lot of more permanent things. The bathroom will always get dirty again, but -- for example -- the tupperware has a new permanent home where it will stay more organized.

And I've still got a few days left! I have more than a few days' worth of work, but the momentum may carry me into December, and if not at least I have a list of stuff to do once I've had a bit of a break. And for today I get to rest, because tomorrow I'm back to work and the week will be busy. Feeling pretty accomplished right now, though.

[elliebyrrdwrites]

Marriage Law Trope part 3

Obviously, Granger refused to have the ceremony at the manor, despite all of my mothers requests and horde of howlers. Mother wanted to save all of the time and money she spent planning her only sons wedding. So, she brought the ceremony to Granger.

Inside of the ministry, is this sad little room for the kinds of witches and wizards who want to get married without all of the hoopla. They either don’t have the money to spend on a big wedding, or they just need the marriage for legal purposes.

But mother fills this room with the white Lillie’s and the pink carnations and she charms to ceiling to sparkle. There’s a massive wedding cake in the middle of the room on a table she set up herself. It’s three tiers with the smallest one holding two figurines of a bride and groom. The bride originally resembled Astoria with her black hair and pale skin. I had to ask Theo to transfigure it to resemble Granger. He managed to transfigure the skin to resemble the sandy color of Grangers and the hair to grow two sizes bigger, but it’s still black. Not brown.

With a shrug, he moves back to my side. We’re both leaning against a wall, and I’m dressed in the first clean(ish) suit Theo could find before forcing me out of the door.

The finality of last nights drunkenness simmered into a buzz and is now boiling rapidly into a hangover. It starts with a headache that begins at the base of your skull and then it wraps around and you swear you can feel your brain scraping against your scalp because you’re so hungover you think everything has shrunken or expanded. You aren’t really sure, but all of those scenarios pop into your head and you just can’t even blink without the pain landing into your brain, behind your eye sockets.

The point is, I feel like shit on what some may consider the most important day of my life.

Theo peers at me from where he’s leaning and begins to dig through his pockets. Inside of his jacket, in his pants pockets. I don’t know what he is looking for and I can’t understand how he keeps digging around in the same pockets for long periods of time but finally. He produces a vial of something bright red and holds it out to me as I watch my father hiss into my mothers ear. Across the room, he’s telling me, my mother, the worl, that at this is the worst thing to ever happen to the Malfoys.

“Take this.” Theo says and I take the vial, without looking it. I take the vial and uncork it before tossing the entirety into the back of my throat.

Because potions are not new to me. Potions are what I do. It’s just that, ever since Granger rolled into that room last week, I don’t want them. I hate them. They dull everything inside of me and everything around me. And so, every other night, I skip them. Every other night, I let myself feel the spread of my sheets as i lay down to sleep. I mull over data and information, mostly about the things insane and heard and I felt.

And then I close my eyes. I blink and then it’s morning. Everything stops and then speeds up until the sun is shining through my curtains. Sometimes I doubt that I even fell asleep.

The point is, I didn’t take my potions last night because I wanted to feel the enormity of this day. I wanted to remember the way it felt to watch Granger say ‘I Do to Draco Malfoy.

It’s not like I have any romantic feelings. It’s just interesting and something about the way she stood up to father makes me think she’s going to do something stupid and reckless and I really just want to remember it. I want to feel it all.

The point is, we have to kiss. This isn’t just a business deal, because we’re expected to get intimate. We’re expected to stick my parts into her parts and make a fucking baby.

But the point is, I got stupid drunk last night because I couldn’t figure out what kind of kiss to give her. It’s not like I even want to kiss her. But if I don’t, or I do, what is then outcome? If I kiss her like she’s repulsive, she’ll likely hex my balls off.

If I kiss her like I want to fuck her, like I want to consummate this, she will likely still hex my bullocks off.

And I don’t. Really, I don’t.

It’s just that, she has the greatest set of tits I’ve ever seen wrapped inside of fabric.

The potions tastes like pepper up with a kick of something tart. And my tongue tingles just as the door to the room opens.

Granger is dressed in a white dress. Her shoulders are bare and the dress is simple, like something you’d wear to an afternoon garden party and her hair is pulled back with intricate braids that meet at the back of her head but the rest of her hair is down and wild and she feels like the falls of Asaranca during summer. It’s Warm and wild but there’s a cool steady mist blowing in your face.

Trust me, I know.

But, behind Granger, there’s Harry Potter and there’s Ginny Weasley. And there’s Ronald Fucking Weasley.

Ronald Weasley is as freckly as ever, but that’s not why I hate him. Freckles don’t bother me. He’s combed up and dressed in a suit that actually looks new and fits his big gangly body, but that isn’t why I hate him, either. I don’t even hate his copper colored hair. Copper has its appeal.

The point is, just the mere presence of him grates at my nerves.

It’s like being lit on fire and being able to do nothing about it. Your blood is boiling and it feels like your skin is tightening around your temples but really it’s just your nerves getting frayed and there’s nothing you can do.

And the point is, that when Granger steps into the room, his hand moves to the small of her back and I can feel the possession in his touch, even from here I’m standing.

And the point is, I’d rather die than have my wife be something Ronald Weasley feels like he owns.

The room fills with the tension that spreads and reaches out for all eight of us. It’s threading itself into our skin and through the fibers of our muscles until it settles deep into the gut or carves itself out a little space in our chest.

There isn’t enough room in there for my heart and my lungs and all of that tension.

Because it’s pounding and my lungs are contracting over and over and Granger is looking at me from across the room like she’s just seen life on the moon. She takes her big dumb eyes and shines them on me like I’m that thing she lost years ago, and totally forgot all about it until this moment.

Until she’d stumbled upon it like we stumbled upon it in the middle of looking for something else. And now she can’t remember what she was looking before she found me.

And the point is, it’s unnerving. The look of this witch with her lips parting and her eyes glimmering, it’s too much. Because she’s about to give herself to me, and I’m going to pull her into my life and into my chest and lock her in there. I’ll have to protect her from everyone,even my father. I’ll have to care for her and we don’t even like each other.

My magic is buzzing and my heart is pounding and Theo is nudging his shoulder into mine, telling me to calm down.

“Either the potion’s kicked in, or you’re very excited to see your bride to be,” Theo says and when drag my eyes away from Granger, he’s pointedly looking at my nose. There’s steam pouring out of my nostrils and my ears and I can feel it wafting up my throat as I step away from the wall to greet my bride. But, I cough and puff out a cloud of tart flavored smoke.

Grangers face lights up in a way I’ve never seen before.

Her lips quirk and her eyes latch onto mine and then she smiles. She’s smiling at me like she can’t help it. Like the smoke and my nerves are all something precious and I feel like I’m being bolted to the floor. I can’t move and the best of my heart increases and so I just stare.

I stare and staresndstareandstare. I can’t stop staring at the way her lips lift and show the row of pearl like teeth, the slight sliver of her top gum.

“Ahem,” father clears his throat and the spell is broken. The mudbloods magic fizzes out and her smile transforms into something cruel and bitter as she looks to look at my father.

The tension thickens as the Marriage Commissioner enters behind Grangers gang of Gryffindors.

“Are we all ready?”

The little room is bursting with flowers and tension and the nine of us.

Nobody is ready. We’re all fidgeting and on edge.

Potter is shifting from foot to foot as he squeezes onto the hand of Ginny Weasley. She’s narrowing her eyes on me, a brow lifted like she’s sure I’m about to take a shit on the entire thing. Theo is fiddling with his bow tie and I don’t know why he’s nervous. He thought the entire idea of me and Granger getting married is hilarious.

But now he’s adjusting his tie and shaking his hair from his face and staring at my parents like they might do something.

Mothers just wringing her fingers together and watching Granger with something like wonder filling her blue eyes, rounding them out and lifting her brows.

Father is scowling as he watches everyone step into place.

I step up to the little alter that is on the far east side of the room. The commissioner stands at the podium.

Theo and my parents line up on one side. Potter and the Weasleys on the other.

Granger steps up to the podium and then all of the eyes in the room are on me.

They’re poking and prodding. They’re waiting and predicting.

Because what will Draco do?

Something stupid, his fathers eyes say. Theos eyes are begging me to be reckless.

Harry thinks I’m going to do something to hurt Granger.

Ron Weasley is telling me to run away. His eyes are gobbling up his golden princess and he’s begging me to give her back, give her back.

Granger barely looks over her shoulder, and her eyes don’t land on me. I don’t know what Granger wants.

But I step up beside her and her shoulder brushes against my arm and my headache is gone but in its place, my heart has spread into my throat and into my head. I can feel and hear it in every part of my body.

The commissioner doesn’t drag it out. It’s like ripping off a bandage. It’s better to just get it over with, don’t prolong the pain. Just pinch the edges and pull.

And before I know it, I’m turning to face Granger and she’s turning to look up at me and there’s a ring shoved into my hand. I slide it onto her little fingers that look like they belong between my teeth and I’m promising to care for her and protect her. I’m promising to love her and she’s doing the same and isn’t that some shit.

Were promising to do something that we had no choice in. They’re forcing us together and now they’re making us swear to love each other when we never got the chance to figure it out on our own. And we don’t. We don’t love each other. We hate each other but now we’re going to love each other for the rest of our lives.

You may now kiss the bride.

The words crack into my mind like a whip. I’m jolted back into a moment I can never forget because I’m not being dulled down by the potions my father encouraged me to take. And this is why I drank last night.

Because I’m forced to make a decision that neither of us wants to make.

I clear my throat and I can see Granger swallow as her eyes flick to her friends, to the commission, who nods encouragingly.

She looks to my parents and to Theo.

I lean forward and I have to bend my knees so that I can lower myself to her height and gently place my lips against hers.

I settled on a respectful, closed lipped kiss.

Her lips are soft and firm and warm. There’s a spark of magic that dances against my mouth and I gasp. I gasp and make to pull away.

But Grangers hands suddenly clasp over the back of my neck as she lifts up onto the tips of her toes and deepens the kiss. She takes advantage shock forces her tongue into my mouth and, I think I’m falling.

The point is, my hands hold onto her, grasping at her face and her waist and I’m falling. I’m falling into Granger and she takes me, catches me and devours me.

The kiss is wild and it’s inappropriate but I think I’m cursed because I can’t stop kissing her back. I can’t stop slanting and molding my mouth to hers. I can’t stop letting her massage my tongue with hers I can’t stop her little fingers from gripping onto my neck or from finding their way into the little hairs at the nape of my neck.

I can’t stop the way my fingers press into the fabric of her dress like I might rip into it. I can’t stop the way I, forcing her body to crowd into mine.

The kiss is like a dance that is synchronized and well practiced, like we’ve been doing it forever.

Someone clears their throat and Granger slows the kiss down, kissing me once, twice, three times before she pulls away with my eyes still closed.

She pulls away and when I open my eyes, she sends a smirk at my father and the point is, I can’t care.

The point is, that ancient beast that was a part of me is now a part of her and something wild and frenzied is suddenly brewing right here. Here in this space between her body and mine, my mind and hers The point is, it’s here to stay and the point is, I can’t stop this, even if I tried.

Trust me, I know.

[that-birdy-chick]

Part 2 of me rambling about s8 of hawaii five 0

Live commentary

ep 6

- did-did Danny really just organize an intervention for Steve? To make him take better care of himself?? I don't know how to feel about this

- Lou really just said "Steve listen to your husband, he loves you" spoken like a true married man

- kinda gotta agree with Dog, not your finest move Danny

- so can we all agree that Danny losing his mind a little over Steve's radiation poisoning is kinda like the whole Steve losing his mind over Danny retiring thing but in reverse?

- I think Steve has never looked more stressed than with this stress counseler person asking him about his sexlife right in front of danny

- awwww now the end of this episode is in my top 3 favorite heart to hearts these two dorks have ever had

- Danny being honest about being scared that Steve isn't taking his radiation poisoning seriously to the point it keeps him awake at night and steve replying that he's scared too but that he doesn't want Danny to change because he loves him the way he is and that he does take things seriously URHGH

THE GROWTH! The genuinely healthy communication! I'm so proud of them 🥹

ep 7

- no no no what is going on between adam and kono? My breakup senses are tingling and I don't like it

- I swear the way Adam and Steve's conversation in the car went is so "let's talk about our respective marriages" coded

Like honestly it's so blatantly obvious - they are literally paralleling mcdanno to kono and adam ffs

- hey and come on adam you too? Why does everyone need to shit on the restaurant thing

- haha Steve is mad people he cares about just walk into a dangerous situation without backup - I love how this season confronts Steve with his own behavior

-hmm l don't know how to feel about Lou literally deleting evidence to protect tani, really most of their shady "police work" really didn't age well

- damn Steve killed a cop, that's definitely gonna fuck with him

- love how Lou is looking out for everyone, he just is the team grandpa

- sooo adam is gonna join five 0 right? This is what all this is about isn't it?

- I swear I am trying to care about junior and tani and what's going on with them but Idk so far I haven't really warmed up to them

ep 8

- eyyy Danny is back and calls Steve babe within 1 min into the episode? This can only be a good one

- nvm I swear to God Steve if you crash land yet another plane-

Seriously dude? Haven't you learned your lesson from the last time?

- naww Danny is so proud of Steves character development, sure hope he isn't gonna do something dumb and risky and ruin it again

- okay so tani and junior huh? They're definitely gonna be a thing soon aren't they

- the dude was killed because he was hiding from a drug cartel that he snitched on and fled with the drug lords daughter, I swear all these people always have the most dramatic backstories

- aaaand steve is doing the dumb reckless thing, Danny my guy I feel you're pain, he is so done with his shit he doesn't even yell at him anymore

- Danny is such a fucking saint, Steve almost went and got himself killed AGAIN and all he cares about is being last and danny husband of the fucking year just goes "yeah yeah you did well let's get a beer maverick"

- okay tani and her brother are kinda cute in their peek sibling behavior, I feel bad now for calling her a kono replacement, girl is much more than that

ep 9

- damn love Jerry's new haircut

- I will never get tiered of Danny and steve bickering about the restaurant, I know they are setting it up to fail but I genuinely think this could have been a good thing to eventually end the show on, like a retirement thing, but oh well

- aww I love Danny trying to comfort neolani with something Steve told him, only to have it backfire and make him anxious again

- pfffff and tani and junior sit in the far back like literal children

- oh great we're doing the biological warfare stuff again, this should be fun

- so they only have 8 hours to live? sounds like a prime love confession set up to me

- love our respective couples comforting each other, have to say tani and junior are doing a way better job tho like seriously Steve "try not to die while I take this call okay?" that's the best you can do, seriously?

- and of course Danny's all time stress response is to bitch about or at Steve, stellar coping skills all around

- omg danny did not just say-and steve didn't - OMG is it actually-

-nvm of course it's a fake out, damn it after 7 season why do I still keep falling for this shit

-the little restaurant talk Danny started to distract Steve and himself with was pretty sweet tho

- hey, wait why is Danny the only one definitely close to death? The others all seem relatively fine

- and of course Steve has to go and needlessly risk himself, so junior has to safe both their ass's instead of him just doing it on his own in the first place

- excuse me people why are there not more fanfics about the crew stuck in quarantine together?? this shit is hilarious and has so much potential for angst!

Please if anyone has some great fic recommendations send them my way please!

-no come on Danny, Steve didn't wanna upset you! That's honestly a pretty mature thing given the situation you were in, and now their arguing

- poor tani and junior they be stuck with these two idiots for a long time

- I could really see tani, just snapping at them after two days to either kill each other or fuck it out already, because their whole shebang is just exhausting for everyone

ep 10

-AHHHHH they finally opened the restaurant!? Progress!

- why does the screen look weird? Please don't let this be a dream type thing

- "Right now grandma Williams is smiling down at you" awww Steve, that is so sweet🥹

- nooo it's a dream thing 😭

- love how everyone makes fun of Steves near mental breakdown haircut, really dude it looks terrible, why does no one stop him?

- wow you really gonna give em kids the judgemental stares for flirting? Steve Danny as if you're any better

- and of course they're getting jumped in freaking quarantine

- really the dude went through all that trouble, just to kill Danny? And didn't even try aiming for the head? amateur

- aww Danny imagining grace wedding, my heart <3

- Danny is hurt, Steve is freaking loosing it, I'm so here for this

- Lou really said "sir, you better have a plan soon because if you don't Steve will come up with one, and only God can help us if that happens" I love you so much Lou

- huh so Danny thinks Charlie will be a cop? That's interesting

- awww and of course Steve is there, sitting next to him like a good husband, and the rest of the ohana

- nooo Danny being there for kono and adams first kid, that is so wholesome 😭

- Steve is straight up having a terrible time, while Danny has some idealistic feverdream about the future, this is so fun

- excuse me Steve you fingering your husband does absolutely not make you even for the liver thing, you nut

- so there gonna blow up a bomb right next to another bomb? Sure that seems reasonable

- yes Lou! Get the sledge hammer!

- poor Eric, don't worry hun we still have 2 seasons left to go Danny will be fine

- no NO you cannot- you did not just show me that while Danny's dying the last thing he hallucinates about is having grown old with Steve 🥺

- "and if I could do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing" I'm done, this is it, that line just killed me 😭❤️

- excuse me, Danny is dying and you people are choosing NOW to tease Steve about his stupid haircut? Seriously??!

- yes everyone copes differently I guess, but when Steve's life was on the line no one was joking around is all I'm saying

- yes Danny Steve saved your life by fingering you, deal with it XD poor Eric is scarred for life

- love Danny genuinely getting some love for once, this was a good episode

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x33 - Pump and Gotsu are Shibuya-Type Digimon / Out on the Town

Previously on Digimon Adventure: In the middle of a blistering summer day, DeathMeramon showed up to make things even hotter. Internet contrarianism at its finest. Bet he's also one of those clowns who retools their truck to produce more emissions and trigger Libs. Fortunately, the youth of the nation turned out and voted to throw him off a building so it's all good.

Now we turn our attention to another pair of kids. The recap offers a bit of extra information to set the stage for what's happening.

(Oh fuck me, it's this one. I am not ready. I am not ready.)

Narrator: On the night of the same day they fought DeathMeramon, Yamato escorted his younger brother Takeru to their mother's place and they headed in the direction of Shibuya.

Thit bit of setup doesn't make it into the dub's recap, which simply tells us what happened in the previous episode as usual.

As the episode begins, a CGI readout informs us of the date: It's August 2nd, 1999. The children still have about a month left in their summer vacation.

To put our current location into perspective, here's some of those familiar map markers from last episode. Black circle is Vamdemon's lair at Daiba Park. Green is Shibaura. Blue is Tokyo Tower. We are now one city over from Minato City in Shibuya.

Shibuya is well-known for being, as they say, hip with the youngsters. Imagine if a stereotypical American shopping mall in the 90's with all its associated teenage memes was a city. That's Shibuya. It's like the capitol of youth fashion trends in Tokyo.

So these two Digimon roll up on the roof of a car.

Pumpmon: (excited) This place is even famous in the Digimon World: Shibuya!

The narrator wastes no time going into their rundowns.

Pumpmon is a Perfect-stage Data-type Puppet Digimon. Did you guess Nightmare Soldier? Because he's a Nightmare Soldier. He's kind of a catch-all. Any Nightmare Soldier can evolve into Pumpmon as a Jogress Evolution but no Nightmare Soldier directly evolves into him.

His name is, unsurprisingly, derived from "pumpkin" for his pumpkin head.

Narrator: Pumpmon. A stuffed doll with a pumpkin for a head. His scary but cute appearance is popular with girls. Tonight, he plans to run wild in Shibuya as if it were Halloween. His special attack is Trick-or-Treat.

That little guy next to him is Gotsumon, a Child-stage Data-type Ore Digimon. Gotsumon is a Nature Spirit and the mid-tier evolution for Mochimon. He evolves into a few Digimon you may recognize such as the Monochromon from File Island, Gekomon, and in the 0.5 update, Tailmon - though Tailmon would later receive a more official pre-evolution.

Gotsumon: These are Shibuya-type humans! Narrator: Gotsumon. His body is tough, but he's a cheerful and playfully naughty Digimon. He goes with the flow and was made for Shibuya! He plans to rock out tonight! His special move is Angry Rock. Pumpmon: Something exciting is about to happen! Gotsumon: Let's have fun! Ahahahaha!

Gotsumon and Pumpmon bound off the car roof and disappear into the city.

The dub adds some silence-breaking dialogue to their intro. It also somehow thinks those two are driving the car even though they're clearly on the roof of it.

Gotsumon: Let me drive! You're going the wrong way. Pumpkinmon: How do you know which way to go? You've never been in the real world before. Gotsumon: What's the difference? I've never driven a car before either! Pumpkinmon: Well, it's my first time too! Both: Ahahahahaha!!! Pumpkinmon: Whoa, check 'em out! Uh-huhuhuh Uhuhuhuhuh! Gotsumon: Ew! Pumpkinmon: So these are city people in the real world. They don't look like much fun. Gotsumon: (rundown) Well, Pumpkinmon? You're the right guy to teach them what 'fun' really is. You are, without a doubt, the most rockin' creature to ever have a pumpkin for a head. Remember: Chicks dig evil Digimon. Gotsumon: At least that's what I keep telling myself, anyway. Pumpkinmon: (rundown) Gotsumon, you are the mon! We're going to have such a blast here in the real world; They might even name a building after you: The Gotsumonument, where they keep all the party supplies. Pumpkinmon: 3... 2... 1... LET'S GO!!!

Dub Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon are weirdly judgmental about the Shibuya people's party qualities. Though I will say: "Chicks dig evil Digimon" is a surprisingly pragmatic adaptation of Pumpmon having a "scary but cute appearance that's popular with girls." That's not what they said, but... it's not not what they said either.

While Pumpmon and Gotsumon disappear into Shibuya, we join Yamato and Takeru on their way to say goodbye to one another. The brothers sit in silence while the music of Yamato's harmonica plays in the background.

From the luggage rack, Tsunomon and Patamon discuss their situation for the audience's benefit.

Tsunomon: Yamato and Takeru's parents divorced four years ago. Patamon: So even though they're brothers, Yamato lives with his dad and Takeru lives with his mom, right?

Now that we've laid down that reminder, Takeru checks the time on his Digivice. It's 7:07 PM.

Takeru: It's late. Onii-chan, you should get off at the next stop. Yamato: No. I'm taking you all the way to Sangenjaya. Takeru: It's okay-- Yamato: (firmly) Takeru. Takeru: What? Yamato: Let me do this. Takeru: Okay.

Rip my heart in half, and the episode's only just started.

The purple circle on the map is Sangenjaya. As you can see, it's a bit of a trip from the red circle Odaiba. Depending on your timing, it's about an hour to an hour and a half one-way by train. Takeru's worried because Yamato isn't going to get home until like 9. Which is pretty late for an 11-year-old.

We're about to come up on Shibuya Station, which means another 20 minutes to Sangenjaya. For Yamato, that's another 40 minutes added to the length of his round-trip if he goes all the way.

The dub adds a silence-breaker to this scene that completely kills the tone of the boys sitting in awkward, strained silence.

T.K.: How much longer, Matt!? Matt: Relax, T.K. You're almost home.

I guess T.K.'s getting impatient to split up. Their faces are onscreen for most of the extended silence, so the dub still has to go through with Matt and T.K. sitting there unmoving and not speaking. But the vibe is completely killed by T.K.'s whining.

Tsunomon: Matt and T.K.'s mom and dad aren't together anymore, Patamon. So even though they're brothers, they don't live together. Patamon: So T.K. lives with their mom and Matt lives with their dad? That explains why they try so hard to stay together all the time. (T.K. checks Digivice for the time) T.K.: It's sure late. Matt: Yeah? So? T.K.: The next stop's good enough. Matt: No. I'm gonna take you all the way home, little brother. T.K.: You don't have to. Matt: I know I don't have to but I'm going to, okay? I've got my reasons! T.K.: What reasons? Matt: You're my brother. T.K.: Thanks Matt.

This part's pretty well adapted. Matt uses a lot more words to explain where he's coming from, whereas Yamato captures basically all of that in the four words "Let me do this." But he still gets to the same point.

Things are pretty tense here in the train car. But then Patamon asks a question that's more insensitive than he realizes.

Patamon: Are you upset because you're splitting up (wakareru)? Takeru: Shut up! Yamato: (surprised) Takeru! Patamon: You don't have to yell at me like that! Takeru: Even if it's you, Patamon, you shouldn't talk about us brothers like that! Patamon: Fine! I won't talk anymore! Tsunomon: Patamon!

To understand why Takeru lost his shit all of a sudden, you need to understand the nerve Patamon struck. The word he used, wakareru, means to divide or to separate. He was trying to politely ask if the fact that they're going to go their separate ways soon is what's causing all this tension in the train car.

But it's also the word for divorce. Patamon accidentally brushed on Takeru and Yamato's mutual insecurity, that their parents breaking up has broken them up.

Meanwhile, in the dub:

Patamon: Ahhh, nothing like sweet brotherly love! Tsunomon: That's a Digi-mouthful! Patamon: We like when you guys get mushy! T.K.: Hey, quit it! Matt: Easy, T.K.! Patamon: You don't have to be mean about it. I thought what you guys said was ni-- T.K.: MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX!!! Why ya listenin' to our conversation anyway!? Patamon: FINE!!! If you don't want me around, I'll leave! Tsunomon: Patamon!

Patamon abruptly starts talking about how cute the boys are, and T.K. gets so embarrassed that he snaps at Patamon about it.

The anime's always been uncomfortable talking about the divorce. So uncomfortable that they initially posed these two as half-brothers but I think we've officially done away with that. But they did bring it up a second ago, so I'm a little surprised they suddenly back down from it here.

Patamon's feelings are so hurt by the argument that he bails as soon as the train doors open.

Patamon: I'm getting off here! Yamato: Patamon!

Yamato and Tsunomon try to chase Patamon, but only get as far as the door. He's gone.

Yamato: Takeru! Patamon flew away! Takeru: (bristling) Who cares.... Tsunomon: The door's about to close! Yamato: (firmly) Takeru....

Right as the doors are about to close, Takeru's anger breaks. At the last possible second, he and Yamato jump out onto the platform of Shibuya Station to go find Patamon.

In the dub:

Patamon: I know when I'm not wanted! Matt: Patamon, don't! (Patamon's gone) Matt: Patamon got off the train, T.K.! Don't you want to go after him? T.K.: Who cares about him!? Tsunomon: I think you care about him. Matt: Don't you? (beat) Tsunomon: T.K.? Matt: Better decide, T.K.; The door's closing! (T.K.'s anger breaks and he jumps off the train with Matt) T.K.: Where'd he go!? Tsunomon: Where are we!?

Again, it's wordier but it hits all the important points. Tsunomon and Matt having to spell out T.K.'s inner turmoil might be a bit over-expository but it doesn't feel intrusive to me. The scene still flows pretty well.

Leaving the station, the brothers hit the streets of Shibuya to find Patamon.

Tsunomon: Where could Patamon have gone? Yamato: This is your fault for yelling at him, Takeru. Takeru: (snaps) I couldn't help it! Yamato: Hey, don't take it out on me.

Takeru stops walking suddenly. His eyes soften.

Takeru: Onii-chan, I'm sorry.... Yamato: You went too far with Patamon. Takeru: I know, it's just.... He wasn't wrong.... Yamato: (gently) I know how you feel. Tsunomon: Let's go look over there!

Tsunomon's doing a pretty terrible job of being a plushy, I gotta say.

The dub, I guess, adds a timeskip as the brothers exit the train station?

T.K.: Seems like we've been walking around for hours.... Tsunomon: Yeah, I'm tired! And I don't even have any feet or legs! Matt: You shouldn't have yelled at him like that, T.K. T.K.: Hey, it's not my fault! Matt: Well, actually, it is. (T.K.'s eyes soften and he stops walking.) T.K.: Oh, I'm really sorry.... Matt: I understand, T.K. I know you didn't mean to hurt his feelings. T.K.: Well, I thought he was making fun of us.... Matt: No way, dude! You know Patamon better than that. Tsunomon: Hey, why don't we try looking over there.

Well. Uh. Glad we got that resolved. T.K. was making mountains out of molehills and he gets that now. Emotional drama: Over.

While Yamato and Takeru search for Patamon, they pass a pachinko parlor. We pan inside, where Pumpmon and Gotsumon are spending their night on the town not gambling.

Pachinko is a pretty huge industry in Japan, proving not-gambling entertainment services. Comparable to a slot machine, pachinko is an easy way to burn through your disposable income by turning a knob and seeing what you get.

The reason I keep saying not gambling like that is because pachinko exploits a legal loophole to dance around Japan's strict gambling laws. Legally, it's simply classified as entertainment. This is because you can't win any money from the machines.

When you play pachinko, what you win from it are balls which are then exchanged for prizes at a nearby prize center. Sort of like an arcade. Those prizes can then be sold to a vendor in exchange for money.

See! It's not gambling! You're winning prizes, not money. And then turning those prizes into money. Not gambling!

So. yeah. These two are basically in a Japanese casino. It's an open secret that pachinko's cheating the system but it's also a pretty major industry, puts a lot of money into taxes, and the law still restricts minors from playing so everyone sorta goes along with it. There's stuff like that in every country.

We join Pumpmon inside as his machine pays out a ton of pachinko balls. Behind him, he has five separate trays filled with balls.

Pumpmon: This is really fun! Gotsumon: Hey, give me some. Pumpmon: Again!? Gotsumon: Don't be selfish! Pumpmon: But I am selfish. Gotsumon: I'll pay you back. Pumpmon: Promise? Gotsumon: Promise.

Before Pumpmon can turn any balls over to Gotsumon, a casino worker finds them.

Worker: You two. You're kids wearing costumes, AREN'T YOU!?!?

He drags them both from the casino and throws them out onto the escalator.

Worker: Next time I see you in here, I'm calling your school!

Once the two Digimon hit the bottom, they get up and yell back at him.

Pumpmon: WE'RE NOT CHILDREN!!! Gotsumon: We're just short! Worker: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!?!? Both Digimon: WAUUUUGH!!! (flees)

The funny thing is, he's half-right. Gotsumon is a child.

In the dub:

Pumpkinmon: Haha! Alright, another winner! Gotsumon: So will you give me a few? Pumpkinmon: What, again!? Gotsumon: I'll pay you back, I promise! Pumpkinmon: You'll pay me back with what!? Gotsumon: With what I'm about to win! Pumpkinmon: But you never win. Gotsumon: I'M HOT TONIGHT!!!

I don't think Gotsumon knows what that phrase means. Also, sad that we dropped "But I am selfish."

Nonetheless, pleasantly surprised that they correctly adapted the pachinko parlor as a casino by any other name. This is casino dialogue.

Worker: Hey, you two! You kids just don't get the message! Get out and STAY OUT!!! (Worker throws them out) Worker: If you have to try sneaking in here dressed as cartoon characters, at least get a decent costume! (Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon hit the ground floor) Pumpkinmon: Boy, it's a good thing we were just about to leave! Gotsumon: Or we'd teach you some manners! Worker: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!? Pumpkinmon: Uh-oh! Gotsumon: Oh boy! (They flee)

These two are clowns in both versions. I love it.

Fleeing from the casino, the two Digimon run into a young woman, knocking her to the ground.

Gotsumon: IT'S A SHIBUYA-TYPE GIRL!!! Pumpmon: Let's hit on her to celebrate our first night in Shibuya! Gotsumon: What's up, babe? Woman: What do you want!? Gotsumon: Do you know what time it is? Woman: (checks her watch) Hey! Don't come any closer! You two look like rejects from "Kinchan no Kasou Taishou"! Pumpmon: What is that? Gotsumon: I don't get it. Pumpmon: You're dressed funny too!

Pumpmon demonstrates the peculiarities of the woman's attire by yanking her out her nose stud. This proves to be a terrible mistake, as the next we see of them, they're fleeing for their lives while she chases them in a blood fury.

Woman: YOU ASSHOLES!!!

Needless to say, their attempt at hitting on the woman they knocked down did not go well.

The TV show she brings up is a Japanese variety show that's basically a professional talent show. People would come on and do their own skits, then be rated by a panel of judges.

In the dub:

Gotsumon: Whoa! I think you knocked over a monster! Pumpkinmon: Even worse, I think I knocked over a teenager. I've heard about these strange looking creatures. Woman: Hey! It takes one to know one. Gotsumon: Excuse me, do you know what time it is? Pumpkinmon: TIME FOR NEW CLOTHES AHAHAHAHA!!! Woman: Get lost, you creeps! And what's with the costumes!? Aren't you guys a little late for Halloween!? Pumpkinmon: What's Halloween? Gotsumon: I don't think I like these teenage things! Pumpkinmon: Me either. Maybe I can reprogram her if I pull out her safety mechanism. (Pumpkinmon tugs the woman's nose stud, provoking the fury) Woman: COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE MUTANTS!!! THIS 'TEENAGE THING' IS GONNA TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS!!!

It's August, so we're more early for Halloween than late.

Pumpkinmon talks like a grumpy old man in this scene and it's weird. His lines here are generation-gap Boomer Humor, and it feels bizarre coming from what are supposed to be two fun-loving imps having a night on the town.

I mean, he is an Ultimate Digimon so maybe he is a boomer but it doesn't fit the tone.

That said, the payoff in the woman's final line is hilarious. XD

Fleeing the infuriated teenager, Pumpmon and Gotsumon's trajectory brings them down an alley and straight towards Yamato and Takeru.

Tsunomon is not playing. The second he lays eyes on these two coming down the alley, he evolves to Gabumon.

Gabumon: Pumpmon! Gotsumon! Takeru: Do you know these Digimon? Gabumon: I think they work for Vamdemon. Pumpmon: We're being chased by a Shibuya-type girl who's much scarier than Vamdemon-sama! Gotsumon: You should hide too!

The pair grab Gabumon by the arms, dragging him away to a hiding place.

In the dub:

Gabumon: Hold it right there! Why are you two in such a hurry!? T.K.: Do you know these guys? Gabumon: I sure do! They work for Myotismon. Pumpkinmon: You're right! But, right now, we're being chased by something even scarier than Myotismon. Gotsumon: There's a really mad teenage human after us! Come to think of it, you'd better hide too!

Losing the repeated references to these humans as "Shibuya-type" doesn't seem like that big a deal, but it does take a bit of the unique characterization and charm away from Pumpmon and Gotsumon.

While the Digimon take cover, Yamato faces the furious Shibuya-type teenager.

Woman: WHERE THE HELL DID "KINCHAN NO KASOU TAISHOU" GO!?!? Yamato: (points) They went that way. Woman: Thanks! (runs off)

Classic misdirect. Once she's gone, it's time to find out what's going on with these guys.

Gabumon: Did Vamdemon order the two of you to come here and find the Eighth Child? Pumpmon: That's right.

Yamato tenses up at the confirmation. The music takes on an ominous tone as Gabumon and Takeru withdraw to Yamato. Steeling themselves for the--

Pumpmon: But Shibuya is much more fun! (Tension killed instantly) Yamato: (lost) Shibuya is much more fun?

Both: (dramatic pose) We've become Shibuya-type Digimon! Takeru: Shibuya-type Digimon? Gabumon: What is going through your heads? Both: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon all exchange weary glances over whatever the hell this is. But when they look back, the Shibuya-type Digimon are gone.

Yamato: WHERE DID THEY GO!?!?

In the dub, the teenager opens this scene with a valid point.

Woman: YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE DRESSED IN THOSE STUPID COSTUMES WHERE ARE THEY!?!? Matt: (points) Uh, they went that way. Woman: THANKS!!! (runs off) (The Digimon come out from hiding) Gabumon: I think I know why you two troublemakers are in the real world. Did Myotismon happen to send you here to find someone? Pumpkinmon: Yeah! That Eighth DigiDestined kid. Matt: Huh! Then you're our enemy! Pumpkinmon: No, we're not! We just want to cruise around the city and have some fun! Matt: Well, we thought you two were evil Digimon. Gotsumon: Evil schmevil! We love it here! In fact, next stop: Hollywood! (dramatic pose) TA-DA!!! T.K.: (flatly) They're not ready for TV. Gabumon: Typical. Everybody wants to be in show business. Both Digimon: Lights! Cameras! And action! (The trio all exchange glances and disgusted noises) Gotsumon: Hey! There's some lights! Pumpkinmon: YEAH!!! (Everyone looks back and they're gone) Matt: What are they doing up there!?

The dub's aversion to quiet moments prevents it from even competing with the original. Also, the nonsequitur about Hollywood is clearly written in there because they had no idea what to do with the Shibuya-type animations they were saddled with.

Now, where did those two get off to?

Gotsumon and Pumpmon jump onto a streetlight, shaking it and scrambling its signals. The ensuing confusion causes a traffic calamity.

Gabumon: YOU TWO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?

Suddenly, police sirens start up in the distance.

Takeru: Police sirens! Yamato: They'll arrest us if they see this! RUN FOR IT!!!

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon cheese it before the bacon patrol can arrive. Gotsumon and Pumpmon consider their options.

Pumpmon: They're running away. Gotsumon: Let's go too. Both: WAIT UP!!! (flee)

Wise decision.

Over in the dub, Matt yells at them as soon as they jump on the streetlight.

Matt: HEY!!! GET DOWN!!! (Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon cause a pileup) Gabumon: That's enough! That's not funny; It's mean! (Police sirens) T.K.: Sirens! Matt: Get down or the police will arrest you! We'd better get out of here, guys; Let's run! (T.K., Matt, and Gabumon flee) Pumpkinmon: Did he just say let's run? Gotsumon: Sure did! Both: WAIT FOR US!!! (flee)

Mostly the same, though Gabumon's gentle admonishment isn't as fun as original Gabumon's furious outburst.

After cheesing it from the cops together, the brothers realize they've misplaced the Shibuya-type Digimon.

Yamato: H-Hey, what happened to Pumpmon and Gotsumon? Takeru: They were keeping up with us a minute ago. Gabumon: Those two are so impulsive... ACK!!!

Gabumon suddenly spots Pumpmon and Gotsumon trying on outfits inside a clothing store through the display window. Pumpmon is rocking a pink dress while Gotsumon's trying on blue shorts and a white shirt.

Brothers: ...those guys.... Pumpmon: I think this dress would look better on you. Gotsumon: I agree!

They swap instantaneously.

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon enter the store to confront them.

Yamato: Pumpmon! Gotsumon! Gotsumon: Oh, did you want to dress up too? Pumpmon: PUT THIS ON!!!

Gotsumon and Pumpmon dress Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon each up in goofy outfits. The camera lingering on each in turn.

Gotsumon & Pumpmon: YOU LOOK GREAT!!!

Right at that moment, Patamon flies past the window.

Takeru: AH! PATAMON!!! Yamato: AFTER HIM!!!

The trio throw off their costumes and frantically exit the store, chasing after the lost Patamon.

Pumpmon: Should we follow them? Gotsumon: Sure!

In the dub, Gabumon takes this as an opportunity to be zen.

Matt: Hey, where are Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon? T.K.: They were right behind us. They must have gotten lost or something. Gabumon: Those two... Even when they're found they're lost. AUGH!!! (Gabumon spots the pair in a storefront window) Matt & T.K.: Man oh man.... Pumpkinmon: I think this one makes me look fat. But what do you think? Gotsumon: Well then, let's switch! (Brothers and Gabumon enter) Matt: You guys need to change your attitude! Gotsumon: You need to change your clothes!

XD "You need to change your clothes" got me.

As the camera pans over each of the dressed up protagonists, Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon get some silence-breakers.

Pumpkinmon: (on Matt) This look says you're not afraid to think big! Gotsumon: (on T.K.) Here's a sporty look! Course, I haven't figured out what sport it is yet. Pumpkinmon: (on Gabumon) And finally something nice and a little teddy. Well, what do you think? (Patamon flies by) T.K.: OH!!! PATAMON!!! Matt: HEY!!! PATAMON, COME BACK!!! (The brothers run out) Pumpkinmon: ...so, should we follow those guys? Gotsumon: And why not?

XD Again, they got me. "I haven't figured out what sport it is yet," was a solid follow-up to the innocuous seeming setup, and the timing on that line was pretty good.

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon chase Patamon to a nearby park, but then they lose him.

Takeru: We lost him again.... Yamato: Patamon must still be upset. Gabumon: He's not usually this stubborn.

Suddenly, Pumpmon and Gotsumon show up with ice cream cones.

Pumpmon: Now now, cheer up! Gotsumon: Have faith that you'll find him eventually.... Pumpmon: ...and have some ice cream!

Yamato and Takeru both gasp with alarm when they see what the pair are holding.

Gabumon: Where did you get that ice cream? Both: WE STOLE IT!!!

As if on cue, the ice cream vendor comes running into the park behind them.

Vendor: ICE CREAM THIEVES!!!

So the whole group has to start running once again.

Yamato: Why do we have to run!? Gabumon: She's seen us with them! Gotsumon: Want some ice cream while we're running away? Takeru: GET RID OF IT!!!

Once they've evaded yet another Shibuya-type pursuit, Yamato and Takeru stop to catch their breath.

Pumpmon: (holding out the cones) Want some? Yamato: Not me. Takeru: Me either. Gabumon: ... (Beat) Gabumon: I'll eat. Yamato: HEY!!! GABUMON!!!

XD Yamato's trying so hard to present a unified front here but it's ice cream. I mean, no point letting it go to waste; Damage already done and all that. You can't unpop that cork.

In the dub:

T.K.: Do you see him anywhere, Matt? Matt: No. Looks like we lost him again, T.K. Gabumon: Patamon doesn't usually hold a grudge but he was mad as a bull with a Black Gear.

It's funny to me that they're still bringing up Black Gears. That was more than half the series ago. On the one hand, new viewers are going to have no idea what that's supposed to mean. But from a writing perspective, I kinda like that their initial File Island adventure left a mark on everyone's psyches.

Like they're just waiting for Black Gears to become a thing again.

Pumpkinmon: Hey now, don't look so bummed out! Gotsumon: Yeah! I'm sure you'll find your little flying pig friend somewhere! Pumpkinmon: Maybe some ice cream will cheer you all up, huh? Brothers: !!! Gabumon: You guys don't have any money so how did you get ice cream? Both: WE STOLE IT!!! Vendor: (running into the park) YOU CROOKS!!! COME BACK HERE WITH MY ICE CREAM!!! (Everyone runs) Matt: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO!!! EVERYWHERE YOU GUYS GO, THERE'S TROUBLE!!! THE NEXT TIME YOU TWO GET SOMEONE ANGRY, MAKE SURE THEY CAN'T RUN VERY FAST!!! (Everyone stops to catch their breath) Pumpkinmon: So, want some ice cream? Matt: Not me. T.K.: You stole it! Gabumon: ... Matt: Gabumon won't take it either. Right? Gabumon: Ice cream... Ye-- Brothers: GABUMON!!!

Not sure why Gotsumon knows they're looking for a flying pig; He hasn't laid eyes on Patamon. But they did say Patamon's name so he's probably familiar with the species. That's fine.

The dialogue exchange while everyone's running is replaced with Matt scolding the pair of troublemakers for the entire sequence. Though, funnily, he seems more upset that they got caught than that they stole the ice cream in the first place.

The Gabumon joke at the end is slightly different but still nails the landing.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning from the stormy sky strikes the road in front of them, kicking up a cloud of dust. And then everything stops being funny.

Vamdemon: Pumpmon. Gotsumon. Both: Y-Yes, sir!? Vamdemon: Why are you eating ice cream with the Chosen Children? Both: Y-you see.... Vamdemon: Weren't you supposed to be searching for the Eighth Child? Both: We haven't found them yet! Vamdemon: Then why haven't you taken the Crests from these children!? Both: We were just about to do that! (Pumpmon and Gotsumon turn on Yamato and Takeru) Gabumon: RUN!!!

Gabumon shields Yamato and Takeru with his body and the three of them run for it. Gotsumon and Pumpmon let out adorable little battle cries and give chase.

Over in the dub, Myotismon opens by telling these two what he really thinks.

Myotismon: Losers! Failures! Both: No no! Don't say that! Myotismon: Instead of causing pain and suffering, I find you here eating ice cream! Both: ...well, it is stolen-- Myotismon: I DON'T CARE ABOUT ICE CREAM!!! Have you found the Eighth DigiDestined Child yet? Both: Well, we were about to find him! Myotismon: Redeem yourselves by stealing the Crests from these children OR ELSE!!! Both: No problem, boss! That's just what we were about to do! (Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon turn on Matt and T.K.)

Gabumon doesn't say anything when they run this time. He lets out some scared vocalizing like Matt and T.K. are.

Different openings to the same result. Honestly, both openings have merits. I prefer the first one, because Vamdemon's stonefaced "Why are you eating ice cream with the Chosen Children?" is a beautiful Oh Fuck moment. There is no possible answer they can give to that question that won't incriminate them further.

But also, Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon pointing out to Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain Myotismon that the ice cream does qualify as a crime, only for him to scream "I DON'T CARE ABOUT ICE CREAM!!!" is hilarious. XD

So, in the original, Vamdemon opens the conversation with an impossible-to-defend accusation in what is very much the voice of a boss catching an employee goofing off at work. Meanwhile, in the dub, they get him. They win that verbal joust and he's livid about it. Both versions are so good.

Takeru: Why did they attack us all of a sudden!? Yamato: It can't be helped. They were working for Vamdemon from the start! Gabumon: But I can't bring myself to fight those two!

Pumpmon and Gotsumon are troublemakers, but there's no malice in it. They've sort of become the kids' friends, in an odd way.

In the dub:

T.K.: Can you believe those two turning on us!? Matt: And I thought Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon only wanted to have fun, not fight! Gabumon: I suppose they'd rather fight us than fight Myotismon.

Gabumon's line in the original is an expression of his own personal feelings towards Gotsumon and Pumpmon. He's asserting his growing fondness for the pair. In the dub, he explains their motive for the betrayal, which we saw for ourselves half a minute ago, so it's not as interesting.

Cut to Patamon hunkering down on top of a streetlight. He's finally run out of angry and is starting to have post-fury regrets.

Patamon: I left in the heat of the moment, but I wonder what Takeru's doing now?

Down below, he overhears a pair of girls in school uniforms chatting.

Girl 1: Yeah, if you want to meet up with someone, it should be in front of Hachikou's statue. Girl 2: Hachikou's statue is the best place to meet up! Patamon: Hachikou's statue....

Patamon takes to the air again, his mind set on a destination.

For context, Hachikou was a dog whose owner brought him to Shibuya. His owner would take the train to work, and every day Hachikou would wait at Shibuya Station for his owner to return.

His owner died one day from a medical complication at work, and never came home to Hachikou. From then on, every day for the next ten years, Hachikou would come to Shibuya Station and wait, unaware that his owner would never return. He kept this up until the day he died.

(Yeah, that Futurama episode that made you cry is based on a real event that happened in Japan.)

In his memory, a statue of Hachikou was erected outside the station. He's been immortalized in movies, anime, and video games. There's even an annual memorial in his honor.

So. Y'know. Lot of cultural significance to using Hachikou's statue as a place to meet up with people. Which isn't going to translate into the dub very well.

Patamon: I just can't stay mad at T.K. anymore. Besides, I really miss him! Girl 1: So I told Rebecca and Sarah to just find us at the park later. That'll work. It's like... It's so easy to find somebody at the park! Girl 2: Yeah! It's totally easy to find somebody there! Patamon: Oh, in the park!

(sigh) They could have at least used the statue as a landmark. Even if kids don't understand the cultural significance, that's fine. Neither does Patamon. Someone said "Hey, Hachikou's statue is a great place to meet!" and that's all the context he has. It's fine if that's all the context the audience has.

"The park"? This is a metropolitan city. Which park?

While Patamon's heading to Hachikou's statue, Yamato and Takeru find themselves cornered by the formerly friendly Gotsumon and Pumpmon.

As they round a corner, they see Pumpmon ahead, cutting off their exit.

Yamato: AUGH!!! Takeru: PUMPMON!!! Pumpmon: This is as far as you go! Gabumon: He cut us off from the front. Yamato: Get behind me, Takeru.

Gripping Takeru by the shoulders, Yamato moves him back towards the rear. Unfortunately, it's not safe from that side either, as Gotsumon brings up the rear.

Takeru: (spots Gotsumon) Ah! Yamato: (turns) Gotsumon! Gotsumon: This is as far as you go.

I like the symmetrical taunting from Pumpmon and Gotsumon as their trap is sprung. These two are such a double-act, even as the enemy.

The pair backs Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon into a vacant lot. Nowhere to run now.

In the dub:

T.K.: Hey, how'd you do that!? Pumpkinmon: Aren't I amazing!? Gabumon: Well, you might make a nice pie. Matt: Come on! Let's turn around! (moves T.K. behind him) T.K.: Whuh!? Gotsumon: (approaches from the rear) Hehe, I don't think so! Matt: We're surrounded! Gotsumon: Sorry we have to do this to you guys, but orders are orders. You understand.

"You might make a nice pie." Holy shit, shots fired. Gabumon threatens to eat Pumpkinmon.

Matt's also given a tone-shifting silence-breaker when Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon back them into the lot.

Matt: Alright, if it's a fight you want, LET'S DO IT!!!

This is one of those lines the dub likes to use when the kids are in extreme peril to make it seem like it's not so dire.

With their backs against the wall of the lot, Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon prepare to have to defend themselves. Pumpmon and Gotsumon slowly advance on the Children with determination and menace in their eyes. Then, at last, Pumpmon--

Pumpmon: I quit. Gotsumon: Ugh, me too! Pumpmon: Playing around in Shibuya is way more fun than fighting the Chosen Children! Gotsumon: Yeah yeah! Come hang out with us! Group: Huh!?

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon have tonal whiplash over how this night has gone. But the tension's been deflated, our new friends are still our friends, and--

A bolt of lightning suddenly strikes nearby.

Pumpmon: V-VAMDEMON'S COMING!!! Gotsumon: Go hide!

Things may have de-escalated with these two, but there's still the big guy lurking around. It's not safe to be out in Tokyo at night.

In the dub:

Pumpkinmon: Uhh, I quit. Gotsumon: Yeah, me too. Group: Huh? Pumpkinmon: Why should we fight? Somebody always gets hurt. Besides, it's way more fun just hanging out and cruising around the city! Gotsumon: That's for sure! Hey, why don't you guys hang out with us? Group: Huh!? (Lightning bolt strikes nearby) Pumpkinmon: Whoa, Myotismon's coming! Gotsumon: You should all hide!

It's worded a little different but mostly the same. I like Pumpkinmon's new point about how violence sucks, actually. Like. Unless you're Son Goku, on a scale of 1 to Fun it's a 0.

Takeru, Yamato, and Gabumon all hide while Pumpmon and Gotsumon go out to confront their boss.

It does not go well.

Vamdemon: Where are the Chosen Children? Pumpmon: Unfortunately, they got away from us. Gotsumon: We almost had 'em! Vamdemon: You LIARS!!! I have no further use for you. NIGHT RAID!!!

Pumpmon and Gotsumon's deception confirms Vamdemon's suspicions, provoking a rare break from his typically cool demeanor.

We're going to see in a moment that he does know where the Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon are. It's too late to hide. He's giving Pumpmon and Gotsumon an opportunity to tell him and prove that they haven't deserted their posts. A test that they fail.

In the dub:

Myotismon: Where are the DigiDestined!? Pumpkinmon: Uh, they were here just a second ago! They must have got away! Gotsumon: Yeah! You can't believe how fast they are! But we almost had 'em, boss. Myotismon: Yes. I can imagine. You had your chance; Now I'm condemning you to my dungeon in the Digi-World! GRISLY WING!!!

...yeah, we'll. Uh. We'll talk about Myotismon's dungeon in the Digi-World in a moment.

The acting for Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon is so good in this scene. They do a fantastic job selling these claims as pathetic excuses from dipshit minions.

There is, however, a bit of a narrative shift here. Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon are lying to protect their friends in both versions. However, in the original, Vamdemon sees through their lies and attacks them for betraying his side. Myotismon is just executing them for failure. This was their opportunity to "redeem themselves" for not finding the Eighth Child, and they bungled it.

Well. Shit. Vamdemon's on the attack, as his bats swarm Pumpmon and Gotsumon. Nothing to lose now; Go for the Hail Mary.

Pumpmon fires off his Trick or Treat, conjuring a colossal pumpkin above Vamdemon and dropping it. The Night Raid bats quickly return from their attack, moving into defense and catching the pumpkin. They ravenously devour Pumpmon's best move.

While his bats are distracted, Gotsumon tries to blindside Vamdemon with his Angry Rock attack. But. Like. It's a rock being thrown by a Child-stage Digimon, and Vamdemon's Perfect. He telekinetically stops the rock with a sharp gaze, then shatters it in midair.

The dub calls these moves Pumpkinmon Power and Rock Fist Attack respectively.

Once the bats have finished eating Pumpmon's pumpkin, they go back on the attack. Pumpmon and Gotsumon have nothing left to defend themselves.

Vamdemon's Night Raid descends upon Pumpmon and Gotsumon once more. They both let out the most bloodcurdling screams, and we pan away to Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon in a nearby alley.

Gabumon: Pumpmon! Takeru: Gotsumon!

Yamato throws himself around Takeru and pulls him away, using his own body to break Takeru's line of sight.

Yamato: Don't watch, Takeru!

The axe from Pumpmon's head and one of Gotsumon's rocks clatter to the ground. Then they dissolve into pixel dust. The incorrigible pranksters are dead. Vamdemon takes a step forward, his boot landing where these parts of the prankster pair had dissolved, as if crushing their bodies underfoot.

There is no change in the dub. Even their bloodcurdling screams as they die are retained. This is because the dub already changed the context of this scene a moment ago. This is where "My dungeon in the Digi-World" comes in.

They pre-emptively altered the context of Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon's disintegration so they could present the death scene in all its gory detail, unhindered by the need to appease the censors. They went to the dungeon, so it's fine for them to die screaming while Matt yells at T.K. not to watch.

...honestly, clever. Points to the dub for managing to make the censors happy and preserve the emotional punch of this scene. Though if you're hoping for a follow-up episode where we spring them from Myotismon's dungeon, I... Uh... I have some bad news.

(Now that I think about it, his entire castle and the mountain it's situated on got obliterated the day after he left. He doesn't know about that. So... I guess they're fine. Dub Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon popped into existence in a vacant lot in the Digital World, then ran merrily off into the woods. The joke was on Myotismon in the end.)

With the deserters disposed of, Vamdemon next advances on the alley where Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon are hidden away.

Vamdemon: The three of you are next. Yamato: (voice breaking) They were good people.... Gabumon: Yamato.... Yamato: YOU HAD NO REASON TO KILL THEM!!!

To understand how big a deal this eruption from Yamato is, you need to understand something. Much like children's media in the U.S., children's media in Japan generally frowns on the word kurosu, meaning "to kill". It's considered vulgar and inappropriate for young audiences.

Like western children's cartoons, Children's anime will generally favor other terminology. "Defeat him. Destroy him. Take him down."

Yamato here uses the word. We are not pulling any linguistic punches. This motherfucker murdered Pumpmon and Gotsumon.

Gabumon evolves into Garurumon, slamming Vamdemon against the wall of the storefront across the road. He gets a hit in, but Vamdemon easily punches him away.

Garurumon keeps up the assault while Yamato shakes with fury.

Yamato: Those guys... It may only have been for a little while... (voice breaks) But they were our friends! GARURUMON!!!

Vamdemon catches Garurumon in his Bloody Stream, whipping him away and tossing him at a building. Just then, Yamato's grief activates his Crest, pushing Garurumon into Super-Evolution.

In the dub, Myotismon is cruelly dismissive of Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon.

Myotismon: (Advancing on the alleyway) Well, that wasn't very difficult. Now it's your turn. Matt: (voice breaking) Those two... They were really trying to save us. Gabumon: You're right! Matt: Rrrrgh! And you just condemned them for no reason at all!

The dub does not have the nerve to say kurosu here. Though they have dropped in some "kill" words in the past. I think this is contextually too dark for them.

Garurumon attacks Myotismon, and Matt's speech here is:

Matt: Go get him. He should pay for what he did to those two! Those guys just wanted to be our friends! GARURUMON!!!

Tonal shift. Yamato's speech is a furious eulogy centered on Pumpmon and Gotsumon, while Matt's is a vindictive battle cry against Myotismon. As usual, the Americans are more comfortable in the realm of aggression than emotional sincerity, which often gets put on display with Yamato/Matt specifically.

WereGarurumon catches himself, landing on his hind legs on the building and then springing back at Vamdemon. Kicking off the most public Digimon fight we've had yet right here in the streets of youth culture center Shibuya.

We cut briefly to Patamon resting in a tree at Shibuya Station above the statue of Hachikou.

Patamon: Aww... Those girls said that if I wait here, I'd find Takeru...

In the dub:

Patamon: Aww... Those girls said the park was the place to find someone, but where's T.K.?

The spirit of Hachikou is strong today, however, and Patamon will be reunited with Takeru. The sound of screaming alerts him to something happening nearby. He looks up in time to see glowing signs on distant buildings destroyed by WereGarurumon and Vamdemon's fight.

(We aren't retreating this time; Yamato's out for blood. Also, fun fact: I'm sure I brought this up before but WereGarurumon himself is a Nightmare Soldier.)

The public below look on in horror as werewolf and vampire duke it out in Shibuya. WereGarurumon dodges away from a stabbing Bloody Stream and counters with Kaiser Nail. His claws form an X-shaped projectile that slams Vamdemon back through the wall of one of the neighboring buildings.

Startled humans inside leap to their feet as the fighting progresses indoors. WereGarurumon jumps in through the hole, but Vamdemon's back on his feet. A Night Raid hits WereGarurumon dead-on; The bats lifting him through the air and crashing him through a neon sign.

Though the fight started off promising, the neon sign costs WereGarurumon dearly. Vamdemon now has the upper hand. Before WereGarurumon can recover and get back to his feet, Vamdemon lashes him with Bloody Stream.

The fight has completely turned. Vamdemon has the unassailable advantage now. WereGarurumon finally makes it back to his feet, holding his stomach, badly hurt. Only to take another Bloody Stream to the face and knock him back down.

Yamato and Takeru watch in horror while Vamdemon lifts WereGarurumon into the air on his Bloody Stream whips, shocking or burning or doing something to him. WereGarurumon screams in agony.

While the violence unfolds, Takeru isn't even thinking about it. He's buried in his guilt.

Takeru: (thinking) If I hadn't gotten so mad, Patamon wouldn't have left us. We never would have met Pumpmon and Gotsumon in Shibuya. And Pumpmon and Gotsumon... wouldn't have been killed by Vamdemon!

Holy shit, that is a lot to lay on the shoulders of an 8-year-old. Takeru believes his mistakes got Pumpmon and Gotsumon killed. He's... he's not right but he's not wrong either.

I love that he calls out Vamdemon as the killer. That's vital perspective that people struggling with guilt don't always have. Vamdemon killed them, not Takeru. He is not to blame. It's good that he recognizes that.

But the chain of events that led to their deaths did begin with him exploding on the train. He's not to blame, but he's still going to be telling his therapist about this when he's forty.

In the dub:

T.K.: (thinking) WereGarurumon's in big trouble and it's all my fault! If I hadn't been so mean, Patamon would still be with us and we would never have met Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon! And if those poor guys had never met up with us, they wouldn't be stuck where they are now! Ohhhhh....

Good effort. Doesn't land quite as strongly, but that's mainly because there's only so hard they can go on T.K.'s trauma when Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon are simply in a dungeon cell somewhere. They still put in as much effort as they can to sell this.

Takeru's grief and trauma and fear is so overwhelming at this point that it all comes crashing in together, pushing him over the edge for the second first time. Patamon SHINKAAAAAA!!!

FINALLY, a full 19 episodes following his death and reincarnation, Angemon is back in play. Patamon doesn't even know what's happening when the surge of Takeru's emotions hit him all at once and bring him into the fight.

Angemon soars over the onlookers in the streets below and straight on into battle. Vamdemon notices him at the last second, swerving out of the way of Angemon's swing - but the attack still goes through. Angemon's staff crashes through the whips of Vamdemon's Bloody Stream, breaking the bonds that are holding WereGarurumon down.

Angemon's intervention buys WereGarurumon a moment to finally catch his breath and get back up.

WereGarurumon: Angemon!? Angemon: Are you okay, WereGarurumon? WereGarurumon: Uh, sort of? Takeru: Angemon! Yamato: Takeru's feelings reached Patamon!

It's great that Angemon is back in the fight, but WereGarurumon's still hurting. We're not out of the woods yet.

Though the dub ratchets up the positivity.

WereGarurumon: Angemon.... Angemon: Are you alright, WereGarurumon? WereGarurumon: Yes. Thanks to you, I am. T.K.: Angemon rules! Matt: Well, I guess we don't have to look for Patamon anymore!

Matt, is that the most pressing matter right now? Dracula is still right there.

WereGarurumon gets his second wind while Angemon stares down Vamdemon.

Vamdemon: So you're the one who possesses holy powers. WereGarurumon: Let's go, Angemon. Angemon: Right.

In the dub, Myotismon is weirdly dismissive of Angemon?

Myotismon: Hmph. Angemon. They must be desperate if they sent you! WereGarurumon: Angemon, shall we take him? Angemon: Let's go!

Uh, Angemon is kind of a big deal? I mean, he's still only Adult-stage; He'd get wrecked in a straight fight. But Myotismon is talking about him like he's the team bottom-feeder.

Angemon doesn't even respond to Vamdemon. He and WereGarurumon go straight on the attack as soon as WereGarurumon's recovered.

Angemon goes high, raising his staff for an overhead swing, while WereGarurumon goes low. WereGarurumon feints with a spin kick. Just as planned, Vamdemon dodges upwards to evade, coming straight into Angemon's attack range. He's forced to raise his arm to block the follow-up from Angemon.

With Vamdemon momentarily pinned down in melee with Angemon, WereGarurumon rebounds off the building that was behind him and comes in for his real attack. He throws himself up into the fray, coming straight up at Vamdemon's defenseless back.

And then I guess we ran out of time and budget because a big blue light blob conceals the entire rest of this fight.

Vamdemon retreats, attempting to save face with a parting taunt and his weird robotic monotone laugh.

Vamdemon: I'll finish this fight later. Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

So fucking creepy every time he does that. He laughs like a Text-to-Speech generator with a reverb played over it

Myotismon continues to have a much less Uncanny Valley laugh.

Myotismon: It's time I take my leave; We will fight again! HuhuHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Myotismon has a villain laugh and Vamdemon has this eldritch thing masquerading as mirth.

Now that the fight is over, WereGarurumon and Angemon revert to Gabumon and Patamon. (Not Tsunomon? Odd.) Yamato and Takeru race over to check on their Partners.

Yamato lifts Gabumon into his arms as much as he can.

Yamato: Gabumon....

He looks concerned, but Takeru is distraught, with tears in his eyes. Considering what happened to Patamon last time he evolved, you can understand why he's freaking out.

Takeru: Patamon!? Are you.... Patamon: Yeah. I'm okay, Takeru. Takeru: T_T I'm sorry for getting mad.... Patamon: Don't cry, Takeru.

Of course, Takeru's fears are misplaced. The reason Angemon died last time was because he channeled the full holy might of all seven Digivices through his body at once. It was that desperation play that killed him.

But Takeru has had a fucking hell of a night and he can be forgiven for thinking he was about to cap it off by watching Patamon die again.

In the dub:

Matt: I hope they're alright! T.K.: Me too! (Both boys grab their Digimon Partners) Matt: Gabumon? T.K.: Ohhh... Patamon! Are you okay? Patamon: Yes. I'm alright now, T.K. T.K.: I'm sorry, Patamon. I'm sorry I got mad. Patamon: Don't cry, T.K. It's alright.

There's some extra dialogue leading into it but it's otherwise the same.

Yamato and Takeru walk back through Shibuya with their Partners, headed for the station. Along the way, they can't help but see the ghosts of the memories they made tonight, with two friends who paid a tragic price for it.

They were Shibuya-type Digimon to the very end.

Takeru: Onii-chan, over there....

Takeru points out the storefront where Pumpmon and Gotsumon dressed up, and the memories flow in from there. Thirty seconds of silent flashbacks while a mournful piano melody plays in the background.

Yamato: (quietly) ...let's go home. Takeru: Yeah.

As the boys leave, a pair of shooting stars twinkle by overhead. A parting symbol of the lives that were lost tonight.

The dub tries to keep things light and upbeat, which really doesn't work for this scene.

T.K.: Hey, look in that window! That's where those crazy Digimon tried on all the clothes, remember?

Due to the dub's aversion to silence, the flashbacks contain voice lines from Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon, of the various things they said in those scenes.

T.K.: Aww, they were funny. Matt: I know what you mean, T.K. I miss them too.

Yeah, you can't lighthearted a scene about grief. T.K.'s lines end up underselling the severity of what's happening in this scene. Though I guess that's to be expected since Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon went somewhere else.

While Yamato finally takes Takeru back to Shibuya Station to drop him off, we turn our attention back to Odaiba.

The camera pans across the Rainbow Bridge, passing over Daiba Park where Vamdemon's base is located.

Narrator: The children saw the cruelty Vamdemon is capable of with their own eyes.

Then we cut to the Yagami home from outside. Hikari is in her room doing homework. The camera slowly pans up to reveal Tailmon on the roof. Watching.

(What she is watching, I have no idea. All she can see from her vantage is the balcony of the apartment above Hikari's.)

Narrator: Soon they would realize that this was only the prologue to the great battles ahead. Once the Eighth Child discovers their destiny, the flames of battle will flare in an instant and devour everything.

Then we close on a shot of Hikari's Digivice lying in a nest made from stolen hangers. Because crows.

Narrator: There's not long now until that time arrives.

Since the dub has no narrator, Matt takes the mic and uses it to spell out the Moral of the Episode.

Matt (V.O.): I guess we shouldn't take our friends for granted! T.K. nearly lost Patamon's friendship and who knows if we'll ever see Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon again! (Shift to the Yagami home) Matt (V.O.): But one thing's for sure; I know Myotismon isn't through with us yet! His henchmen are out there right now searching for the Eighth DigiDestined! Gatomon: (thinking) You may be sweet, little Kari, but next time I will get my claws into you. Narrator: Will Kari survive her next encounter with Gatomon, Myotismon's most loyal servant? Find out on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.

Oh fuck me, I guess we DO have a narrator all of a sudden.

Remember, kids: Treasure the friends that you have. Because you never know when Dracula will murder them lock them in a dungeon.

The dub still doesn't quite understand what's going through Tailmon's head right now. She wasn't thwarted in her attempt to kill Hikari; She ran away because Hikari makes her feel feelings that are freaking her out.

She's fence-riding. Trying to monitor Hikari because she's pretty sure Hikari is the Eighth Child, but using "We don't know FOR SURE" as an excuse not to take further action.

But the dub's still playing Gatomon as super determined to kill Kari, but struggling to find an opportunity. Even though she had a perfectly good opportunity that she fled from.

Assessment: Fuck me, this episode. Hahahahaha hi shit is dark today. Between this and Angemon's first outing, Takeru will be in therapy until he's ninety.

This episode's a bit of a cheater. Like, it's kinda bullshit that Tsunomon can go straight to WereGarurumon in the same night he recovers to Gabumon after how much time was spent building up the drawbacks of Super-Evolution - and then revert back to Gabumon instead of Tsunomon.

I'm not sure if this is going to be the new standard going forward. The Digimon do get stronger over the course of the series; It was a plot point on File Island that practice made them better at being able to evolve to Adult-stage more frequently and consistently. So it may be that we're getting better at Super Evolution too. We'll see if this sticks. But it's still weird that he can hit Perfect in an episode he starts out in Baby.

Of course, Pumpmon and Gotsumon tore my heart in half like I knew they would. And Takeru, just... Just... Takeru. It's not exactly the episode from Fullmetal Alchemist (both versions, you know the one) but it's brutal nonetheless.

The dub... This is another one of those episodes where they were screwed from the outset. The censors were never going to let them do this episode justice. It's dark as shit. They didn't want to deal with angry parents calling because their children are screaming and crying over a pumpkin boy.

But for what they'd be allowed to do, they did a better job with it than I expected. It's still a pale imitation of the original, but there's more definition to that imitation than I thought I was going to see. A C for the overall product but an A for effort.

[supertrainstationh]

GAME GEAR

Super Train Station H

• • • • • • • •

Game Gear: keeps you busy till the train's here.

Full color screen, 8-bit graphics so vibrant they make your eyes tear. No one cared that it's just a smaller Master System, it had top tier games, so we put it into commission.

Stereo sound to listen, but only if you've got headphones: can't squeeze two speakers on something that predates iPhones.

Playing on the ride home - Dad's stuck in late night Brooklyn Bridge traffic, speed's a no-go: but I'm behind the wheel with Ayrton Senna racing in Monaco.

The glow of the screen, makes the back seat a party scene, the batteries running out now would be a bad dream - they drain faster than Sonic dying in "Sonic Spinball". Mom's got extra Duracells, she has it covered, so trust her.

Vanishing colored gems in "Columns" like Fruit Gushers.

"Fantasy Zone", a shooter with Lisa Frank syndrome, space combat so cute you don't wanna quit.

"Sonic the Hedgehog", where do I start with this? I admired Eggman's robot transformation gimmick, but roboticizing my animal friends is beyond my limit.

Doc mocks me with Cumming's Robotnik cartoon voice, because my head-canon for this game is multiple choice. Sally, Antione, Bunny,and Rotor are my back-up crew, gonna beat Robotnik, and all his Badniks too, and solve mechanical puzzles too tough for Nancy Drew.

The Doctor's sinister, his boss stages make my head spin,   but in the name of great justice: I gotta fight him - powered by six double-A's of bottled lightning.

Loved my Game Gear, for playing in the dark; nothing came near, but its nemesis the Game Boy was one for Sega to fear. Nintendo's black-and-white screen made Sega get cocky, let their guard down, but Game Boy came swinging like Rocky.

Smaller price tag - which the parents loved. Needing less batteries fit budgets like a glove. Barely small enough to fit into a 90's kid's pocket, looks like a brick today, but back then, it was some hot kit. You know Mr. Yokoi's team was proud of it. And the batteries lasted a lot longer too, you could play all day hiding it under your desk at school.

And Sega boned their own ads by dissing Game Boy fans, instead of luring handheld gamers with an olive branch.

Wow. What a system, How could I not miss it? Nostalgia soaring high like "Space Harrier" missiles.

I showcase it on Twitch to help spread the word, sometimes it's new to even long-time Sega nerds. I'd talk forever on Game Gear, you know I like this. But my batteries are low, so it's time to split.

[My Twitch] [My VOD Channel] [My FA] [My Ko-fi]