#the last straw was seeing a pic of me from a year ago

[melathinn]

As it turns out bringing attention to my eating habits my weight and my mental health has backfired! Terribly!

I’m going to see a nutritionist bc my therapist told me to and I have great insurance and my general health habits are just fucked right now. Just filling out the questionnaire was a little emotional even though my eating and body image is leaps and bounds better than it was, but my disorder eating was never once validated by anyone, quite the opposite. I feel like I never got closure, I just had to figure it out myself once I was mentally stable. So fingers crossed this helps me heal bc I’m approaching my hw and tbh it’s really really really upsetting.

[byechristopher]

can u do a fic where chris and reader are dating but reader gets insecure because she sees all these old pics and vids of chris with this girl he used to be with but they talk about it and they say to each other they're in love for the first time this is bad sorry but i'm lowkey sad and need this

Trust Me.

– CHRIS STURNIOLO FLUFF.

Author's note: Hey there, thank you for the request! Now, I didn't know how to bring up the old photos, so y e s, I used snapchat memories (happened to me, so..). I hope you like it either way. 🤍 Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: None, sliiight angst. Did not proofread!

Usually, I'm not one to stare at people, but when it comes to Chris, I can never resist, even when he's doing the simplest tasks. We've only been dating for a couple of months, and while I wouldn't label myself as "obsessed," I find myself captivated by him.

My thoughts are interrupted by Chris (not that I mind) as I sit on the pavement, and he bends over to gently kiss the top of my head, his hands cupping my cheeks. I smile and grasp his hands, looking up at him to see his beautiful smile.

"Beautiful day today, huh?" he says, sitting down beside me, his head tilted back, soaking in the sunshine.

I gaze at him, appreciating the way the sun highlights his curls, makes his skin glow, and brings out the pink in his lips and the icy blue of his eyes. God.

"Yes, very beautiful," I chuckle, joining him in looking up at the sky, letting the sun caress my face as well.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" he smiles and wraps an arm around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him so that he can press a kiss on my cheek.

"Yes, yes. Can I play that game on your phone?" I grin, knowing he is not able to resist that and he chuckles, giving me his phone.

"Here you go, babe."

He leaves and I immediately unlock his phone. I want to start the game but a notification from snapchat pops up and I accidentally press on it. I roll my eyes because it is one of these "memories" thingies, it said two years ago.

When it opens, my stomach drops. A few pictures and a video of Chris and his ex girlfriend are under this notification. I know I shouldn't feel anything but I do. Especially when I see how tightly he's holding her, the way he looks into her eyes. The video is my last straw – he's cupping her cheeks while pressing kisses all over her face, saying over and over again how much he loves her. He sounds very genuine. He's never told me he loves me. Ouch.

I quickly close the app and lock his phone, not in the mood to play any of the games on his phone anymore. I can't fathom my emotions – perhaps because I've already fallen for him, and the fact that he might not love me just yet triggers an unsettling feeling within me. Not a positive one.

I go back inside the apartment because I am not in the mood to enjoy any type of sunshine either, so when he's done and he doesn't see me there, he gets confused.

"Babe? Where are you?" his shouts reach me, and I take a deep breath, wondering whether I should tell him anything or just leave it be.

"Hey, I'm up here." I say, standing on top of the stairs as I look down at him.

His smile brightens and he starts walking up the stairs to meet me – he's got a fresh hoodie on now, his hair is damp and the fact that he looks like the cutest human being on earth doesn't help with the fact that I want to cry.

"Why'd you leave? I thought you wanted to stay outside for a while," he questions, pulling me close for a kiss.

"Yeah, just not in the mood," I shrug, failing to force a smile before heading to the bedroom.

"Babe." he follows, concerned, "is there something wrong?" he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"No.. just.. everything's fine." I realise how stupid I will sound if I say anything so now I am just stuck with my mood swings.

"You know you can tell me everything, yes?" he gets on his knees right in front of me as I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, placing his hands on my thighs and giving them a small reassuring squeeze.

I look down at him, then down to my fingers, really considering telling him now. With a small sigh, I cover my face with both hands, "I accidentally opened your snapchat memories." I say, really getting embarrassed now, "and it was you.. with.. yeah."

I can hear him sighing as well, knowing what I'm talking about, but he doesn't say anything for a while. Instead, he grabs my hands gently pulling them away from my face, bringing them both close to his lips so he can kiss them.

"Baby.. you know this means absolutely nothing now, right?" his voice is so sweet and gentle, like honey, it makes me want to cry.

"I know.. please, I just.. I don't know why I'm feeling this way." I know exactly why I'm feeling that way but I would never tell him that, he'd be so uncomfortable. Especially if he doesn't love me back just yet.

"It's normal, I think I would feel the same way if I saw you with your ex." he nods, still pressing kisses to the palms of my hands, "but you need to know that you're the only one I see. For a very long time now." his eyes look sincere as he makes sure to keep eye contact with me no matter how much I avoid it.

I don't say anything, I only nod – he gets up and quickly picks me up, making me wrap my legs around his waist as he sits at the edge of the bed with me in his lap this time. His hands touch me everywhere, my thighs, my waist, my back, my hair – his touch is feather-like, it feels dreamy.

"You know, baby.." he speaks with his gentle voice, "..I might not talk about my feelings as much as you do, but that doesn't mean I don't feel as much as you do." he buries his hand in my hair, his lips close to my ear, pressing kisses there and on my cheek.

I don't have the time to say anything because he continues, "I'm very, very bad when it comes to expressing my feelings, I think you know that by now." he chuckles a bit, making me smile a little bit, "but what I'm feeling for you, I don't think I've ever experienced before." he says and I don't want to get my hopes up but my heart definitely does something, "the moment I saw you, I knew. And that scared me. The fact that my heart felt something, by just looking at you."

I pull back just a bit to look at him, his hands now cupping my cheeks, caressing my skin, "and still to this day, even after all these months, I still feel the same way I felt when I first saw you." he presses his forehead against mine, kissing my lips every now and then, "I am.. madly in love with you, baby." he whispers and I almost widen my eyes.

"What–" only this word comes out of my mouth but I want to grab him and kiss him and tell him a million things. But nothing else comes out and my heart starts beating fast, like crazy.

"Yes. I am sorry if it's too soon for you. But I wanted to say it to you since like.. the first month. I just didn't want you to think of me as a weirdo.." he chuckles and I chuckle, too, "and anyway, you know I don't necessarily like expressing my feelings but sometimes it is necessary for the both of us."

"I am in love with you too.." I smile, my arms wrapping around his neck to bring him even closer to me, "and I have been for a while now." I whisper against his lips.

"Shit. You're doing it again.." he whispers, his smile so big, "the thing. My heart." he whispers again and I laugh softly.

"Stop. I love you." I say and my heart feels at peace.

He smiles, wrapping his arms around my waist again, hugging me close before kissing me again, "I love you too."

[thehusbandoden]

The Last Straw -Shoto x Reader Angst to Fluff

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.. I started working on a request, and then some ideas for a few others and that took all my time, and now I'm in a block and it's really really annoying >.<

This was written a while ago, but I wasn't that confident in it so I decided not to post, but I guess I'll just post it now, so sorry if it sucks </3 | also I had 0 idea what to put for the title :')

Angst to fluff | Fluff(??) ending | 1,497 words

Warnings!: arguing, yelling, cruel words, Shoto being a jerk, self hate, guilt, a teeny bit of self harm (Shoto scratching his face), self doubt, Shoto hating himself :(, kinda open ending but not necessarily

You and Shoto have known each other since middle school. You dated for four years, and have been married for three. You both love one another dearly, and have memorized each other's patterns, habits, preferences, pet peeves, and everything in-between. And besides the rare arguments your life was a dream. Filled with laughter and happiness. Your husband did his very best to provide the best life for you, and he sure did deliver. You were happy, very happy. Key word 'were'.

As crime rates grew higher (ik ik I'm sorry this is probably old >.< <3) the pro heroes gained more hours. And Shoto being the top 3 in Japan led him to take a large portion of the work load. Leaving him with only a few hours to care for his basic needs, let alone a relationship. It was draining really, but you persevered, knowing that it wasn't personal, and that it might would go back to normal soon.

Except, it didn't. It went on for months, and you were crumbling. You would wake up at six to get ready for work to see Shoto dead asleep, arm splayed across your form, face buried into your shoulder. You would smile sadly, kissing his hand softly. After a few minutes of admiring your charming prince, you'd move him to his body pillow that totally did NOT have a cute pic of you giving him an in-love smile on one side and a seductive look on the other, which he grasped onto, burying his face into the pillow which smelt like you.

After work you'd get home to make dinner for two, putting Shoto's portion into a bento for tomorrow. After that you do the chores, relax, and then go to bed, alone. It was tiring, really. Even on his one day off he just slept and you had work so you couldn't even cuddle with him. It was really starting to wear you down. And after the total crap day, you lost it. Instead of going to bed on time like you usually do, you decided to rage clean the house, knocking down all of your 'to do's.

Clean out the fridge?

Check.

Reorganize the pantry?

Check.

Sort through all the piled up mail and emails?

Check.

Deep clean all the furniture and carpets?

Check.

After all of this, you finally admired your work before glancing at the clock; 3:53. Cursing, you quickly move to get to bed, only stopping as you hear the front door creak open. Freezing, your eyes grew wide -and hopeful- as Shoto walked in, a few bruises scattering his body.

His hair was a disheveled mess, and his suit was soaked with grime from the day. His eyes were exhausted as he took in your frozen form, not quite recognizing how late you stayed up. As you studied your husband, you noticed how dark his eye bags were, and how his exhausted eyes raked across you, sinking in the sight. You blushed as you realized you were only wearing your undergarments and one of Shoto's shirts.

"Sho-"

"What are you doing awake?" Shoto asked, moving inside and closing the door.

"I had a crap day and-" you paused as you heard Shoto scoff as he moved to disregard his hero costume, setting the gear onto the newly cleaned floor.

"Why.. why did you scoff at me?" You ask, confusion and hurt consuming your thoughts.

"It's nothing y/n."

"It's not nothing Sho."

"Just drop it y/n."

"Fine! I will."

"Finally." Shoto murmured, causing you to swerve your head toward him.

"Finally?! What is that supposed to mean?"

"Gosh y/n! Just leave me alone!"

"Leave you alone?! Shoto- we've hardly talked to one another in months!"

"Are you implying that that's my fault?! I have to work y/n! We can't survive on your wage now can we?" Shoto spat, heterochromatic eyes filled with anger.

"I'm just saying that it's unreasonable for you to get mad at me talking to you, when the last time we talked in person was when I dropped off your forgotten bento two weeks ago. Which made me late, and caused my crappy boss to scream at me. But I didn't complain, because I got to talk to you."

"I'm exhausted y/n. I just want to sleep. I'm sorry you got yelled at, but it's your fault for annoying me at work. Punctuality is important. Maybe your lack of it is the reason why you didn't get accepted as a hero."

At Shoto's words you just stood there, mouth agape. Your failure at becoming a hero was a huge insecurity of yours, and you trusted Shoto to comfort you, to be supportive of your heart crushing failure and help you get over it. But, instead he's just rubbing it in your face.

"T-that's not fair and you know it."

"Oh yeah? I think it's more than fair. In fact, I have a lot more to say to you if you're going to be like that."

"Excuse me?! What the heck is wrong with you!?"

"You're what's wrong with me. Moron!"

Your voice caught in your throat as tears threatened to spill. Unaware of your distressed state, Shoto went on, spitting insults with such venom that he didn't sound like himself.

"You're completely useless y/n. All you ever do is spend money and nag me."

"Your 'job' isn't worth anything compared to mine. If you were useful enough to become a hero you'd at least make something. But no~ instead you played around, got bad grades, and snuck into a boy's dorm. Distracting him from success."

"You do nothing in this house that I payed for."

While Shoto went on and on the tears fell down your face. As Shoto's words grew harsher and more venomous he took a step forward, backing you into a wall, step by step. As your back hit the wall you called out to Shoto who didn't even seem to hear you.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I MARRIED SOMEONE LIKE YOU!"

"SHOTO STOP IT! YOU'RE SCARING ME!" As you screamed at him you broke down in sobs, body sinking to the floor. Shoto froze as he heard your sobs, finally being pulled to the moment he looked down in horror to see your shaking, sobbing form. As he stood there stunned, all of his words knocked him to his knees, leaving him hyperventilating as he clutched at his aching heart.

Did he.. really say all.. of those horrid things.. to you? As he remembered every word that he said and your face as he said them he completely broke.

His screams echoed through the night, drowning out your retched sobs.

Your sobs slowed as you looked up, concerned for your love. Yes, he hurt you. A lot. But you still cared for him, and you knew that if he was left to his own thoughts he'd imagine something bigger. Something terribly horrifying.

So, moving to your knees, you moved your body to his, his face buried to the floor as he screamed. "Sho baby.." you whisper, tears falling down your face at his broken state. When he didn't respond, you gently placed a hand onto his shoulder.

As soon as he recognized your touch he jerked away, rolling away from you pitifully.

"NO! GO AWAY! I-I-I'LL HURT YOU AGAIN-" At his own words he broke down in sobs, nails clawing at his face savagely.

"Shoto stop that!" You exclaim, lunging to grab his hands. Shoto just weakly resisted, attempting to pull his hands out of yours and toward his face, whispering the words "no" and "leave" repeatedly.

After a while his sobs ceased, and he just let you hold his hands, which you did so gently, caressing them lovingly as you gazed into the broken eyes of your beloved. His eyes were blank, as if the burden of hurting you caused him to pass away silently.

But you could tell by his small breaths and the warmth of his hands that he's only attempting to cope. After a while you were drifting to sleep when your attention was grasped by Shoto's hoarse voice.

"Y/n.. I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me.. I'll understand if you want to leave."

"Sho Baby.. I'm not going to leave you. And thank you for your apology. But.. you hurt me, a lot. And no, no you are not like your father and no you are not a terrible person nor husband. You just made a mistake. Everyone does. And I know that I've messed up in the past. And did you leave me? No. You stayed, and we worked things through together. Shoto, we will go back to normal. And you will learn from your mistakes, okay? So please, please don't hate yourself. If you beat up on my baby then you'll hurt me further."

Shoto just nodded, eyes tearing up again as he wrapped his larger form around you, nuzzling his face into your neck desperately.

Yeah I don't know, I felt like I rushed the ending?? Hope you enjoyed!

Requests, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated!!

Shoto's Masterlist | Main masterlist | Requesting Rules (requests always open)

Tips <3

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way, minus reblogging.

[julietasgf]

You see the vision... Honestly as a snowjanus fan I kinda love and hate the change of the picture in the movie, like ofc I love its snowjanus an all, its perfect for drama but MARCUS BE IN THAT PICTURE IT MADE SO MORE SENSE for Sejanus character and all, also it made in certain way a very powerfu statement from Sejanus part, one that I like to believe really hit Coryo where it hurt and torture him from time to time <3

if we go to the Sejarcus perspective specifically, well that is a definitive proof that Sejanus will always love Marcus. How he missed his presence, how he missed everything that was taken from him, not only his childhood but his adolescence and possibly the first real and genuine and reciprocated love he could have had.

And how in spite of everything he still longs and misses Marcus, who even in death continues to guide him with his gentleness to navigate in a cruel world but Sejanus 😭 was already terribly suicidal so he already wants to die making a big change, wants to sacrifice himself AHHH

Alsooo: I give you other caifanes sejanus coded songs

Caifanes - amanece

Caifanes - nada

I adore the tbosas movie, but there are two main things I'll never forgive it for: the first one is for leaving out so much of ma plinth's character, the second one is the change regarding marcus' pic (not only the pic, but cutting a lot of his relationship with sejanus).

the pic with coriolanus in the movie gives another impact: I mean, the fact that coriolanus just got someone killed, someone who consided him sm to the point of travelling with a pic of them?? ouch. but at the same time, I feel a bit conflicted, because we don't need this information to know that sejanus adored and admired coriolanus, and that coriolanus KNEW that, and got him killed anyway.

now, when the pic is with marcus (a pic from 10 years ago he kept with him after so many time), I think the impact is much harder.

first, I think marcus and sejanus' relationship is one of the most interesting ones in the book for a number of reasons. it's been 10 years and sejanus holds the memory of that boy dearly to the point he kept a pic with him after so many years. when coriolanus calls sejanus dramatic for the way he reacted after marcus died, sejanus acted as if coriolanus slapped him or something, he was extremely offended. when marcus dies, sejanus was willing to take his own life, it was his last straw. we know sejanus' character is a lot about him valuing life, he thinks district people's lives are as important as capitol's, but with marcus is just different. and at that point, marcus wasn't even talking to him anymore.

marcus died (probably) thinking of sejanus as a traitor and refusing to talk to him, to associate with him. and still, even after his death, sejanus tried to bring dignity to his death and kept his memory alive. I think you hit the nail when you said that missing marcus is not only missing his childhood, but also his adolescence, what it could've been. marcus showed him a gentleness that marked sejanus so much that it became a core trait of his beliefs and that not even the capitol's cruelty could take away from him.

(also, again about the pic, it's so funny to me the idea of coriolanus expecting to see a pic of himself with sejanus, bc ofc he's sejanus' only friend, and him being there like 💀 when he sees marcus' pic instead helpp)

about the caifanes songs: OUCH. NOT AMANECE BEING LITERALLY HIS WHOLE CHARACTER (the fact that he found hope in D12 and chose to keep going 😭) plus, nada being abt him in his post-death (also, thanks anon for the songs that now certainly are going to get into the spotify playlist I made for his character <3)

[tolerateit]

Put this down as the fastest this government has agreed on anything. It only took a day, and they agreed to change the laws to get off easy despite cancer patients dying from the shit they've been pulling. It's basically a two party system but both parties are two sides of the same coin, so they gotta protect each other at the expense of the rest of the country and its citizens.

Anyway, I'm so so so sick of this and all the other updates I've shared with you so I'm just gonna say it, this is MK. In a European shithole that's been trying to join the EU for like two decades now. Funny, right? The EU has laws and regulations and shit like this will (hopefully?) not fly. I think changing this law might be the last straw, so they can make the last necessary changes to the constitution next year after elections and we can finally join. Hundreds of thousands have been migrating away in the last decade because it's such a shithole. The moment we join, this place will pretty much empty out and honestly, it's what these politicians deserve. Not to have anyone even picking up their shit. Literally. Should hopefully happen in a few more years although at this rate, everyone might leave even before then.

TO THINK I used to dream about working in politics and diplomacy and fixing this country up! And pursuing world fucking peace?! You know what I had back then? The audacity lmao

I grew up and realized I don't wanna ass kiss any one of these rotten walnuts for brains to do anything in life, and I certainly don't want to take part in their various criminal activities (which are mandatory if you do join, and joining is mandatory to get pretty much any job here. Or even open up your own business, because they'll find a way to shut you down if you don't help them out in whatever way they see fit).

Like, can you even grasp that I only have digestive issues with the dairy products here, but I'm perfectly fine whenever I consume any of them outside of the country? I certainly can't, like what's the difference? what are they putting in it here that's making me ill? God knows what's in the rest of the food at this point.

I made a meme a few years ago, we had our own situation of a model on stage saying the country's name in a funny way like that girl did with France. I saved a screenshot of it and captioned it with the name and everything because it was funny. I've now been using it as a reaction pic on a daily basis. Any time anyone tells me anything negative, I'm like, you know what, yes that sucks, but you know what else? That's just how things are here and nothing and no one can change them, and then show them the meme. At least it gets a smile in any shitty situation.

I was wondering why it's this specific event that's triggered me so much and I found out after hearing the news about the law. My husband's been having health issues all year. It took over 30 doctors and exams and god knows what else just to get an official diagnosis. A bunch of devices for exams haven't been working for months, all across the country no less, so you gotta pay out of pocket at a private clinic that has a working one. All this because most of the good doctors have already left. And you also gotta pay out of pocket at those private clinics to talk to doctors now too, because if there are any good ones left, they're working there because it's less stressful and operates better post covid. And pays a bit more, but mostly it functions better. Thank god we've been able to afford it (freelance ftw!) There were three good ones in that process: the one that recommended the last one, an unrelated one that said your issues aren't from this organ, you can be 100% sure of that, and that last one that gave the diagnosis. And we know it's correct because I haven't seen a single complaint about that doctor on any forum. I don't think all the others we went to really even have brains, someone must have finished their schools for them given what they said and recommended. And I know that much with my degree in English. But imagine being so horrible that you literally let patients die so you can make more money?! When most of them are already poor so they resort to selling everything they own just for the chance to spend more time with their loved ones?! And you're already in one of the highest paid fields here?! On top of everything, people can't even speak up or out about it because corruption and politics run so deep they immediately threaten job loss for you and your family too. I wanna set this place on [redacted] and watch the aftermath calmly as they did to a makeshift covid hospital a couple of years ago. And I mean that literally. That's a whole other story where "no one is at fault" because they can play it that way.

God I hope this is the last time I send you one of these. But I already read some superficial reports earlier today of new fucked up issues being uncovered so I guess no dice. I hope someone protects the journalists, if this keeps going on they'll have it worse because evidence shows these politicians aren't above literal murder to get their way.

sorry for clogging up your ask box with all this, and as I always appreciate you for listening <3

you don't have to apologize at all, it is of course infuriating that these things continue to happen all across the world but it is so important that people stay angry about them! And talk about them!!! Health especially is such an important domain to navigate because it puts SO MANY lives at risk I hate that this is happening

[s12-kittie]

Got a memory unlocked about how I once received threats in Albanian XD

So, it all happened 3 years ago. I created Tayna's fan account on insta, meaning I officially joined the fandom (which mostly consisted of the people from Albania/Kosova, this is important for a story), and one day I received the following message in DM:

The account was another taynator account, so yeah, complete anonymity. The pfp is the pic of Tayna herself, as far as I can see.

So... yeah, I do love Albanian language with all my heart, but I don't understand much of it :') But at least I know enough to explain that I don't speak Albanian XD Which I did in the first message, so you can take the phrase lol

Long story short, I didn't "gogle" the translation, instead I took the screenshots and sent to the girl from Kosova I'd been chatting with then. That was when I found out that I was threatened XD The girl also told me that I was not the only victim and advised me to report this user, which I did.

Looking through the messages once again later, I found out that, yeah, there was smth like "I know where you live and I'll come to you" (well, good luck with the last one and have a safe flight lol)

This is where the story could end but I know how this accout must've ended up.

Some time after this event, I was added in one of many taynator group chats, and one day someone wrote there smth like "everyone report the (username of the person that threatened me)". I don't remember what was that last straw that made someone write it, but I guess everyone just got fed up with the threats. So, as I remember, many people reported and I guess the troublemaker was deleted.

And here we have a happy ending and a possible execution of one insta account for the sake of justice

Once again, villains these days...

Has anyone else got messaged on FF.net with a message like "ur work inspires me blah blah blah let's team up to create art with my art skills" several times??

They're very similar messages from different accounts, one message for the past three days???

Sorry girlie I'm not falling for scams, thanks.

Your accounts are a walking red flag.

[luimagines]

Hi! I have a request, but first i wanna say your writing is absolutely amazing! The length + amount of time you put into these prompts is insanely good. Now! Onto the request, how would the boys react to a reader from a more modern era? Maybe a more modernized hyrule or our current point in time?

Masterlist

Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm happy to see the response even if this blog is still relatively new.

I hope I do your prompt justice.

I probably could have done a headcanon list but I was hit with inspiration.

I also might have given Reader some backstory.

Scenario below the cut! It’s long, take caution.

It was a cool night, but you didn't mind. Your bed was warm, the WiFi was fast and even if it was three AM on a school night, you managed to keep yourself giggling with cat videos and blursed memes until the words and colors merged.

A night well spent.

But it led to questionable decisions.

Even if the shredded cheese in the fridge was beginning to seem a more and more enticing snack, your body was tempted to succumb to slumber.

Until a large purple light encompassed the entirety of your window.

Something was in your backyard.

Aliens. Your tired brain supplies and you sprint to the glass and push away the curtains. Is this it? Is this where I'm kidnapped and never seen or heard from again?

You pull out your phone and open up the camera.

"Pics or it didn't happen." You remind yourself and snap a few before showing your face.

What you see isn't what you're expecting. Instead of a flying saucer in the sky beaming down a laser or a weird pear shaped space craft on top of the grass, there's a single panel of glowing light, swirling with black accents that creeps in a circular motion.

"Cheese and crackers...." You gasp and begin to blatantly stare at it with no regard to whether something may be coming out of it.

You wait and nothing happens.

You wait some more and nothing happens.

You spend an hour watching this portal that has appeared out of nowhere, waiting for something to happen, willing for something to happen. But you get nothing.

The unknown stares right back at you, unblinking and unchanged.

Go through it. A voice tells you. What if there's something on the other side?

"I'm going to die." You gulp and take a deep breath.

Who else gets a chance like this? The voice talks again. This could be a grand step towards a more modern society. A whole new world could be on the other side, waiting, reaching out, calling to humanity!

You think you a see a shadow move behind the portal and out of sight but it’s gone before you can even process it.

"Should I call the police?" You step away from the window, ignoring the thoughts, the voice- you're too tired to know if it's your own any more. What's the plan? How does one go about something like this?

Where’s your sense of adventure? Pack a bag and go! What if it goes away?

That last thought seems to get through to your tired brain and for a reason beyond your understanding, it latches onto it.

Now you’re excited.

You run to the closet and take out your old backpack. It used to be for school but it was fancier since it was the only one you could get. The bag had a replaceable water bag with a plastic straw connected through the back of it and the straps have just worn down enough to where they’re actually comfortable. It doubled as a hiking backpack and came with its own insulated lunch box that clasped on the back of it.

It’ll finally serve its purpose.

You quickly roll up your favorite blanket and strap it in tightly beneath the lunch box. You’re quick to take out two extra outfits and pack them as well as change out of your pajamas.

Ok. What would you need? You don’t know where you’d be going so this has to a catch all kind of deal.

You pack away your swiss army knife first for good measure. A solar powered charger for your phone and an extra pair of socks follow suit even after you’ve picked out the extra clothes.

You take out the water bag and run to fill it all the way to max capacity as you think of any other necessities.

You’d need food. You have a small jar of peanut butter and granola bars that can fit in the lunch box. You can bring your extra water bottle and put in the side pockets of the backpack, and maybe bring some of those powered flavor packets your brother loves so much. You think he has lemonade and some green tea ones.

Those would be great. He won’t mind, hopefully.

You let the bag overfill momentarily before running back to shove it in your bag. with the lid screwed tight.

Next you run to the kitchen, grabbing the first things that you thought of already and begin to look around for more.

You grab an unopened pack of beef jerky, a bag of veggie sticks and a half eaten bag of dried mangos.

During your search you grab the water bottle and fill that too.

You return to your room with your bounty and begin to carefully put everything in the box. With some more deliberation, you run back to the kitchen and make yourself a quick sandwich, eat it, make another one and pack that as well.

You look out side the window and the portal is still there.

The sun is beginning to rise now so you’re trying to go as fast as you can, unless you want to neighbors to think something is going on.

Even if it is.

You’re about to leave but in a stroke of brilliance, you run to pack sunscreen and bug spray as well. You see a small first aid pack that was bought recently for when you would take your family vacation but you reason that it might one of the most important things you’d have if you got hurt.

Into the bag it goes.

You grab your hoodie before you leave the door, wrap it around your waist and pocket your phone, your headphones and your wallet.

You feel immediately under packed when you step outside and see the portal up close.

It’s weirdly triangle shaped, you think and step closer.

You reach your hand out and try to touch it. It feels as if you put your hand through a humidifier but it’s not wet. It’s misty and cold but not necessarily unpleasant.

An idea hits you right before you take your first step through.

You pull up one of the earlier photo’s you took and send it to your friend’s group chat. It showed up in my backyard. I decided to make a bad late night decision and I’m going through. If you never hear from me again, I want you all to fight over my electronics. Winner takes all. Godspeed.

And you step through.

You had first assumed that it would merely take you tot he other side but very quickly realize that you have to walk through it.

The first part still had a little light but with time, it got darker. So dark that you couldn’t even see your hand in front of your face.

You kept walking.

As fast as the light disappeared, it came back and you stepped into the light of an open field, right in front of one, two, three, four, nine males that had appeared to be traveling towards you or rather, towards the portal.

The portal disappears in the process.

“Oh so we didn’t have to go through it! We had to gain another member!” One of them yells. “Would have been nice to know before we packed everything up!”

“Ho boy, where am I?” You ask and tighten your grip on your backpack. Why didn’t I bring a weapon?

They all had long tunics and swords on their backs. Old fashioned leather boots and hand bracers were the norm in this group and you realized very quickly that your jeans and t-shirt had wildly missed the memo.

“Dang, I didn’t think I’d walk into a LARP group. Sorry about that.” You sheepishly smile. “I had no idea where the portal was going to take me. But if you would be so kind-”

“Wait, what’s LARP?” One of them speaks up. He was a dirty blond and somewhere in the middle of the group height wise. He wore a white cape like thing with blue designs on the back but you didn’t recognize the symbol.

“Live Action Role Play?” You tilt your head. “It’s why you’re all dressed like that? Right?”

“This is just our clothes.” What appears to be the youngest bounces up to you. “What are you wearing?”

“First I could grab in my closet.” You admit and look down on it. It’s one of your comfiest shirts and best looking pants. You’re a little proud of yourself for finding those in the dark.

“Weird.”

“We’re heroes. We’re all named Link.” Cape guy speaks up again. “Is it safe to assume that you’re in the same boat?”

“Heroes?” Your eyebrows furrow together. “I’m not a hero and my name’s not Link.”

You’re quick to tell them your name and you watch as the confusion covers their faces. “My brother’s name is Link though if that helps anything.”

“Oh we needed him!” The youngest groans and it instantly irks you.

“What would you need with a five year old?” You deadpan and cross your arms. 

The information stuns the group.

“The portal showed up in the middle of the night and I’m the one that went through it. I’m pretty sure I was the only awake to even see it. Are you telling me that it was for my little brother?” You’d be lying if you said that you weren’t a little pissed. “My baby brother was supposed to go through it? He was asleep! He’s five. What kind of logic is that?!”

“Well...” The biggest and oldest of them runs a hand over his face. You think he has some cool tattoos and sick scar going across his eye but he looks about as angry as you feel, so you don’t say anything. “It appears the gods truly do not care for the hero’s maturity, only his existence.”

“Ok...What’s with all this hero talk?” You bite back. “What did... Where am I?”

“Hyrule.” The second with cool face tattoos speaks up. He’s got a large fur pelt around his shoulders and you have to tighten your grip against your backpack again to keep from reaching out to touch it.

Even so you feel yourself deadpan even more. “Hyrule? Like the ancient empire? The one that collapsed more than two thousand years ago? That Hyrule?”

You’re inclined to not believe them and write all of them off as crazy... but you also walked through a portal. And your grandma did say that magic existed in the strangest forms.

They all share looks of concern and some begin to murmur quietly amongst themselves but you’re too far gone to even notice.

“Did I time travel?” The idea hits you like a bus and you feel your eyes widen as you stare beyond the group. You quickly take our your phone and unlock it.

No signal.

“Is that a type of Sheikah slate?” Someone asks you.

“I don’t know what that is.” You reply automatically. “Wait, hold on, what year is it?”

“Why don’t you tell us what year you’re from and we can start from there?” The darkest brunette of the group speaks up.

“202x PC” You say robotically, not really processing the world around you anymore.

“That’s...” The blond with a long blue scarf speaks up with a slight hiss. “...Beyond any of our timelines. You see, we all come from different worlds and eras of Hyrule’s history.”

“I don’t think you’re the farthest down anymore, Wild.”

“This would then make them my successor, right?”

“It would make their brother your successor.” Someone amends. “I think they just jumped in his place.”

“Leave my brother alone.” You snap back into the present, pocketing your [hone again. “Ok, you know what, screw it. I don’t know what you’d want my brother for but I’m here now. I’d gladly take his place if it means he gets to stay home!”

“Hey.” A boy with pink hair stalks up to you looking a little more serious than you’d like.

“Nice hair dude, way to defy the gender norms.” You smirk a little before genuinely grinning, hoping to quell the tension. “What product do you use? It looks like Artic Fox but not every place sells their brand.”

“...I have no idea what you’re talking about but what happened to Ganon in your world? How have you been handling it?” He snaps and places his hands on his hips.

“Ganon? Like my old principle? That’s a name I haven’t heard in forever.” You’re confused again. “Last I heard he joined the police force only to be reassigned out of state. I don’t know what’s happening with him. Kinda hope he gets fired though. He’s not a bad guy but he’s not someone you’d want in that kind of position of power, you know.”

“Police force?”

You blinked and look them all over. They look very medieval. “Oh... You don’t have that...”

You begin to think about your history lessons and what they might be familiar with if they’re telling the truth about being from Hyrule.

“Ya’ll got knights?”

Many, almost all of them nod, a few with face of despair already on them before you finish speaking.

“It’s kind of like that. Mixed with a towns guard position... kinda. They enforce laws... at least they’re supposed to but the whole system is flawed and racist and really needs to be dismantled for the abuse of power that they have-”

“Abuse? Of power?” You have their attention again.

“It’s stupid and it won’t really make any sense if I try to explain because I doubt you have anything similar but it’s basically a group of people given the right to treat the public in anyway they like for their own benefit because they have no one telling them that they can’t.” You groan and slowly begin to feel your lack of sleep catch up to you. 

You slowly reach to behind you and sit down on the dirt, looking at all of them. “Mr. Dragmire wasn’t like...Demise or anything but he was a huge jerk. No one liked him. He liked me though. I remember that. I was the envy of the whole school because I somehow got on his good side while everyone else wants to strangle him. I think he was transferred for some misdemeanor or something like that... like he might have been throwing hands with someone he wasn’t supposed to. I never heard all the details. I didn’t really care for it when it happened either. I’m pretty sure he lost that fight though. The dude looked like a blast of wind could have knocked him over let alone someone’s knuckle sandwich.”

“I would love to hear more about this.” The youngest sits next to you with a large grin on his face. His eyes are bright and his body language reminds you of your cousin Zelda. You instantly think they’d get along like a house on fire. “What are your monsters like?”

“Monsters?” You tilt your head. “Be a little more specific bud, it depends on where you’re from.”

“You have that many?!”

“It depends on if you believe they’re real or not.”

“Speaking of monsters, can you fight?” The shortest walks up to you. You like that his tunic is stitched up with multiple colors and designs. It gives it personality, you think. “Do you have a weapon you’re more comfortable with?”

The question throws you off your rhythm and you don’t fight your wince. “What would happen if I say that I do not, in fact, have any sort of weapon on me?”

“I wouldn’t believe you.” Pink guy speaks up again. “That pack is huge, there has to be something in there.”

“It’s food, water and extra clothes my guy.” You lean back against said backpack since it won’t let you lay down with it still on. “Not a lot of space for anything else. I’m pretty good at hand to hand combat though. Karate’s a good way to fight out stress.” 

“Your bag’s not magic?”

“Why the hell would it be magic? ...Are you trying to tell me magic actually exists?” You raise an eyebrow as your eyes begin to close against your will. “I know my grandma said it does but I thought she meant like fairies and shadow demons.. and bigfoot. Can’t forget him, he’s the real MVP... You know...Children’s bedtime stories and stuff like that, it’s not real. But like magic magic? Magic items and the like? Find me Tinkerbell and I’ll show you Neverland, that’s what I say.”

“Are you serious?”

“Second star to the right, straight on till morning.” You respond.

There’s a moment of silence as the group in front of you processes your words. It’s hard to tell their reaction since you’re not looking at them but you no longer have the energy to do anything else.

“Are you falling asleep right now?” It’s the one they called Wild.

“I...” You try to open your eyes. They don’t budge. “I haven’t slept in nearly 20 hours... I think. I might have past 24 hours a while ago actually. Portal showed up at like four in the morning... I had to get up at six and I didn’t sleep at all before then.”

More silence.

“Great another one.” Someone scoffs.

You snort.

“Why did we pack up camp again?”

“No one kill me.” You say right before you lose consciousness. “Please and thank you.”

“They’re doomed.”

“Have some faith Vet. They stepped in for their little brother. That has to mean something?”

“They’re in for a rude awakening, and that’s all I have to say about it.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

let me be your ruler.2

Warnings: guns, dubcon, noncon, handjob.

This is a dark! fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairing: (dark!mob!) Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: You try to forget about Peter but he won’t forget about you.

Note: I hate that I am the way that I am. I wanted to keep this to two parts but you know me. 

Anyways, I’m excited for this and hope you are too.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Drowsy in the afterglow of sex and alcohol, you fell quickly into a deep sleep. You didn’t even change before you sank into bed. You hardly recalled the elevator ride up or stumbling into your apartment and tripping around the shadows to your room. It was only a fractured journey from the car to your mattress.

You woke as your phone vibrated under your pillow. You must have buried it there before passing out. You groaned and rolled over as you dug it out. There were several notifications next to a single name; Peter. You thumbed through each message; written in the same tone as his voice. Demanding, without question.

‘Great night, Princess.’ ‘We’ll do it again Saturday.’ ‘Wear something nice.�� … The messages escalated smoothly from doting to commanding. It jolted you back to the night before, the way he seemed to just thrust you through the night. The dress, the drinks, the men, the guns…

You sat up, your panties crooked on your hips. You muttered and swiped away the messages. You weren’t seeing him again. You couldn’t. You had stuck your toe in too deep already. It was best to nip these things in the bud. Not to let yourself get dragged in so far you couldn’t see the surface. 

Peter was more than mysterious; he was dangerous.

You went to the kitchen and waited for the machine to grind as the scent of coffee filled your heavy body. You drank too much, did too much. You still felt Peter’s hand between your legs. It made your chest tight and your head spin. You looked down at your body, the red dress wrinkled and askew.

You left the coffee to brew and retreated to your room. You tore off the dress and your panties. You pulled on a cotton shirt and loose pajama pants. You stormed back into the kitchen and shoved the clothing in the bin. You snatched your phone from the counter and swiped up the lock screen.

‘Sorry, I don’t think this is going to work out.’ You typed. Your hand shook as you hovered over send. You heard Halle’s door and you pressed your thumb down. You looked up at her before you pulled up the block option.

“How was your night?” She asked as she inhaled the aroma of your morning ritual.

“Eh, you know, another dead end,” you pushed your thumb down and the conversation disappeared. “Just not my type.”

“Really?” She whined. “He seemed so nice. And he liked you so much.”

You blackened your screen and placed your phone face down. “Well, you know, things don’t always turn out.” You shrugged and pulled out a mug, “You want some?”

“Are you at least going to tell me about it?” She pouted. “And yes, lots of sugar.”

You poured her coffee and handed her the sugar dish. You frowned at how much powder she scooped into her cup but it was her most endearing trait. She knew what she wanted and she didn’t care what anyone thought.

“Uh, well, it wasn’t anything special. He took me to a party but… I don’t know. What kind of first date is that? Take me somewhere I don’t know anyone…” You ran your finger around the rim of your cup. “Maybe when I was younger but now.”

“You sound like such an old lady,” she snickered, “Oh my god!” She stood straight, “Are we old?”

“I am, but you’ll always be young at heart, Hal,” you rolled your eyes.

“So you’re not going to try a second?” She prodded.

“I don’t think so,” you cradled your mug, “He… hasn’t even messaged me back.” 

You hated lying but Halle had gotten you into this mess and you knew she’d harp on you for not even giving Peter a chance. But you had. He wasn’t what he seemed and you didn’t want to stick around and find out what exactly he was hiding.

“What?” She huffed. “Well, fuck him then.” She sipped from her coffee and her lips curved as she swallowed. “Wait, did you…”

“Hal, come on,” you snipped.

“Oh, fine, but you know, maybe if you got laid, you wouldn’t be so uptight.” She teased.

“Not this again,” you groaned and slid your phone off the counter. “You know what, I got work to do.”

“Uh huh,” she hummed as you turned to leave, “Work. When did you get so old and boring?”

“One of us had to,” you called back over your shoulder, “And we both know you’re never growing up.”

✨

Your phone was pleasantly still for the rest of the day. You felt a twinge of guilt having blocked Peter but then you recalled the men and their holsters. You found your mind drifting away from your work and your fingers hovered over the keyboard as you thought back. 

The company he kept added to the uneasiness in your chest. Steve was friendly but arrogant. The way he looked at you, the way he spoke to you, what was it he introduced you as, “Peter’s girl”. And that man, Bucky. He didn’t seem too fond of Peter but the way he’d grinned at you, as if he knew something you didn’t. Well, he did, they all did. Your head stormed as you tried to figure out their secret.

You shook off the curdling paranoia and hunched as you squinted closer at your computer. You made yourself focus as you skimmed the tight font and added your suggestions in the margin. You sent off your edited draft as your stomach groaned; empty and churning from the acidic coffee.

You grabbed your phone and your mug as you stood. You checked the time. Almost noon. You grumbled and went back to the kitchen, thankfully empty as Halle had left for work an hour ago. You set your cup down and expanded your notifications. A single phone call from a private number and a new follower on your mostly empty Insta.

You opened the neglected app and hit the notification. The profile was emptier than yours. the profile pic was just black and there were no posts. The name gave you no hints as it was obviously generated by the site. 

You went back and a comment popped up on the picture of your and Halle at last year's winter market. ‘Gorgeous, Princess.’ You read and reread the two words as you leaned against the counter. You bit your fingertips and went back to the mysterious profile. You hit ‘block’ and locked your phone.

Surely, he’d get the hint sooner or later. It was one date and the man seemed to have no trouble with women. He’d move on and you’d both forget about that off putting night. You just had to wait him out.

✨

A week rolled by as you kept yourself busy with your work. The phone calls stopped after the first day and you had no more peculiar alerts awaiting you. Your plan had worked. It wasn’t exactly the best; it was a bit cowardly, actually. Yet, knowing how Peter was and how ‘no’ seemed beyond his vocabulary, you had more faith in your evasion than his understanding.

As the weekend approached, Halle convinced you to come out with the girls. You had eluded those opportunities for the past year as you found yourself disillusioned and disinterested in the club scene. You felt as if you were aging out of it and seeing all those fresh-faced coeds assured you of it. Even so, the girls liked to dance and in their words, you need to ‘let loose’.

You couldn’t disagree. You had been on edge and the mounting emails in your inbox didn’t ease the stress of everything else.

With a pre-drink burning a whole in your stomach, you pulled on a pair of flats as your bag hung across your chest. You were comfortable but not stuffy in your tight jeans and the bright pink top with the criss-cross straps. You felt pretty good and the vodka made you optimistic.

You headed down to the street and caught a cab. The dread evaporated the closer you got and as you pulled up to the front of the flashing club, Molly and Desiree waved at your approach. The four of you joined the line as you searched out your ID.

“So,” Molly said, “Halle told us about your little date!”

“Date?” You blinked. “Oh, yeah, that didn’t pan out.”

“Of course,” Desiree scoffed, “That guy was so cute though.”

“Yeah, he was nice, but we just didn’t…”

“He’s ghosting her!” Halle interjected, “Didn’t even text the next day, ugh.”

Halle crossed her arms and you nodded. You weren’t going to correct her, you didn’t need the other two piling on about your dormant love life. You came out to have a good time, that’s what they promised you, and you didn’t want to think about the night that still stood so vividly in your mind.

As you stepped up to the bouncer, he barely looked at your card. You were almost offended as he waved you through and carded the next party more closely. You glanced around at your friends but they hardly seemed bothered. Well, only Halle had reached that big three-o with you, and the other two girls still had a year or two to go.

Madonna’s voice pumped from the speakers as you neared the bar. You looked around at the streaming lights and the bodies shadowed in the strobe. You were surprised you recognized the song and you nudged Desiree as she waited for Molly to order the first round.

“What’s up with the music?” You asked.

“It’s retro night! Duh! Just for you!” She giggled and you elbowed her harder.

Molly turned and passed out the plastic cups with their thin straws and you followed Halle to the low stage where the smoke machine billowed. You coughed at the taste of the fog and sucked on your straw. You began to sway as the other girls led the charge. You could help but be enlivened by the deep base and the energy all around.

As you danced, the girls yelled back and forth about their recent drama. Desiree’s date had been more successful than your own, Molly was certain she was in love with Charlie? You still didn’t know. And Halle was just riding the vibe.

You finished your drink and the other girls stacked their cups in yours before you crossed the stage to leave the garbage on the table just beside the platform. 

You looked over at the bar, pondering another, and your eye was caught by a figure who seemed out of place. The cut of his suit, the way he leaned on hand on a stool, and the intense gaze sent in your direction startled you.

You blinked and stumbled over to the single step down to the floor. You pushed through the bodies, nearly tumbling as a tipsy guy crashed into you. You got to the bar and looked up and down it. Girls waved their hands to get the bar tender’s attention and guys sidled up to them. 

Bucky was gone. It was him. Maybe the air was filled with smoke and the lights were flashing like a siren, but you were certain. Why was he there? How had he found you among the city? Among the reverie in that club? Why had he been watching you? And where had he gone?

You went to where you’d seen him and searched the perimeter of the bar. You went back through the club and slipped past those just getting in. You tapped on the bouncer’s shoulder and he grumbled before he turned and bent to hear you. “What is it?”

“Did you see a guy in a suit leave? Dark hair and--”

“There’s a lot of people here,” he shrugged you off.

You snarled and turned back. You got ahead of the flood of new arrivals and fought your way back to the three girls on the stage. As you walked up, Halle pouted and grabbed your elbow. “Boo, we thought you were getting another round.”

“No, no, I…” you squirmed and tried to get back into the rhythm, “I had to use the restroom.”

“Well, how about now? Wanna refill the tank?” She jibed.

“Uh, sure,” you picked at the purse. “Be right back.”

“Make mine a double,” Molly called after you. “Thanks.”

✨

Despite drowning yourself in alcohol, you barely slept and when you did, you were back in the club, staring at a man you never expected to see again. You wondered if maybe you’d imagined it or if Peter had sent him after you or if it was someone else and you were just tipsy and blind. Whatever it was, you couldn’t shake the foreboding that followed you into the next morning.

Your Saturday was painful and lazy. You spent your hangover on the couch and barely saw Halle as she cowered in the dim light of her room. You fell asleep there and dragged yourself to bed just before nine. You really were old, or at least, getting there.

Sunday slapped you in the face after another night of disjointed dreams. Peter and the room full of men, Bucky at the bar, and static in between. Responsibility called you from your mattress and you cleaned up and dressed for your weekly trip to the grocery store. 

As you came out, Halle was glaring at her phone. “What’s up?” You asked as you shoved your wallet in your purse. “You coming to the store?”

“I got called in for one.” She pouted. “Tell me why I fucked that asshole?”

“Shit, Hal, I’m sorry. Well, I’ll just do the shop myself.” You frowned, “Let you get ready to deal with all that.”

“It’s all because he fucking texted me on Friday and drunk me decided to reply and then… urgh, why do I do this?”

“I don’t know why you’re asking me?” You grinned.

“Oh, please go before I throw this at you,” she shook her phone, “And don’t forget my oat milk.”

“Whole milk?” You asked as you slipped your shoes on, “Got it.”

“Don’t,” she warned.

“Alright, alright. Hopefully I catch you before you go,” you stood and grabbed your keys from the hook. “Have fun with Mr. Bossman.”

“Shut up,” she buried her head in her hands, “Oh my god!”

You tried not to laugh as you left. You felt bad for her as you didn’t know what you’d do in her situation. Looking for a new job had been her first thought but the market was never very good and the man who was driving her away, wasn’t exactly a shining reference.

You took your usual route to the grocer. You had your list on your phone and loaded your cart. You filled the reusable bags and set off for a very inconvenient subway ride home. Your arms screamed as you carried the load up your street and struggled to find your keys at the door. The elevator was too slow and you ended up hauling it all up the stairs. You were out of breath as you got to your apartment.

You turned the knob just a little and kicked open the door. You stomped in and dropped the bags. “So, I got your damn milk--” You stopped short as your voice collided with Halle’s. She was already dressed for work but her braids were still loose. She stood behind the couch as she talked to your unexpected visitor.

“Oh, there she is,” she said snappily, “I wouldn’t blame her for kicking you out but I’ll leave it up to her.” Halle turned to you, “Look who’s here. Only took him a week to come around.”

“Hal,” you said softly as you set the bags down. “What--” You lowered your voice, “Why’d you let him in?”

“So he can apologize to you,” she huffed loudly and passed you to close the door, “Don’t you worry, I still gotta finish getting ready so you have lots of time to hear him out.” She looked at him sharply.

“Really, it’s…” You gulped as you peeked over at Peter. He sat calmly in the chair as he watched you. “Yeah, okay.”

She marched into her room and as her door closed, you reluctantly approached the back of the couch where your roommate had just stood. You stared at Peter, uncertain what to say. You hadn’t been prepared for this; for him to be there in your apartment, your home.

“Peter,” you ran your hands over the couch cushions.

“You lie to everyone you know?” He asked. “As I recall, I’m not the one who’s been… ‘ghosting’, as your friend says.”

“I…” You shifted and picked at the seam, “Look, I told you it wasn’t going to work--”

“You barely gave me a chance. Gave us a chance,” he said as he pushed his legs apart. “That’s hardly fair.”

“Well, you know, I have work and it’s just not a good time for me right now.” You sniffed. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but--”

“Ha, princess, I don’t hurt so easy,” he smirked, “Why don’t you sit down and we can talk properly… finally.”

You scratched your brow and cleared your throat. “I don’t think we need to do that.”

Your voice trailed off as Halle opened her door again. She swept out and you waited as she scooped her purse off the counter and sidestepped the groceries still sat on the floor.

“Gotta go,” she sang, “I’ll see you after work.” She stopped by the door as she wiggled into her heels, “Let me know how you deal with… him.”

“See ya,” you said quietly and watched her go. You looked back at Peter slowly as he chuckled.

“What did you tell her about me?” He wondered.

“Nothing. Really.” You said. “I have your jacket. You want it back--”

“Sit,” he gestured to the couch. “We’ll worry about that later.”

“No. Peter, please. I’m just not interested, okay?”

“You seemed pretty interested in the car,” he purred, “Seemed real interested.”

“I…” You looked at the wall and squirmed. “I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“You were asking for it in that dress,” he intoned. “Now,” his movement drew your eye as he reached into his jacket, “I don’t like playing things like this.” He pulled the pistol from its holster and rested it on the arm of the chair, his hand firm on the handle. “Please, sit down. Let’s talk.”

You stared at the gun. Your blood burned hot and you felt blindly as you came around the couch and dropped down. Your eyes never left the muzzle. Would he use it on you?

“Oh, princess, don’t you worry, I’m just getting comfortable.” He taunted. “Now, I’ve been tryna figure out where I went wrong. I got you a pretty dress, I took you to a nice party, I fed you champagne, and I even gave you a little dessert,” he mused and his lip curled, “So I gotta confess I’m confused as you why you’ve been hiding from me.”

You were paralyzed. You clutched your knees and gritted your teeth. You didn’t know what to say. You’d convinced yourself that you’d never see him again. Your method was tried and trued, at least, when it was used against you.

“Don’t be afraid. You can tell me. I really would prefer the truth.” His finger slid along the short barrel as he spoke. “So?”

“I… Peter, I don’t think that we would, uh, work out. Look, I don’t like guns and…” Your lashes fluttered, “I don’t really know that I wanna be around someone who carries one. Not too mention, your friends--”

“My friends. Princess, your mine. They won’t touch you.” He raised his chin. “They’re not that bold.”

You were silent. Your heart pulsed loudly and you took a breath. You stood cautiously and crossed your arms. “Peter, we talked. I told you my reasons. I think you should… go.” You said as firmly as you could.

He laughed again. His cheek twitched and the smile fell away from his face. He rose slowly and turned his gun to tuck it away under his jacket. His eyes never left you as he did.

“You really want me to go?” He asked.

You nodded and held your breath. “Yes.”

He threw his hands out and clapped them against his pants. He shook his head and crossed the room. You turned to watch him as he passed and suddenly, you were thrust towards him. His hand was on the back of your neck as he pulled you against him. He held you tightly and you felt his gun poking through his jacket.

He grinned, his lips only an inch from yours. “I’m going, princess, but not without you.”

“Let go of me!” You struggled with him. “Get off!”

“Princess,” he warned as his fingers dug into your neck, “Settle down.”

“No, I told you to go.” You hissed as you grabbed his wrist. “Please.”

“Let’s get this straight,” he said, “You don’t tell me what to do. Even if it gets me hard.” He crushed his lips to your suddenly and you wrestled with him, your teeth grazing his lip before he pulled back sharply, barely escaping a bite. “You don’t wanna do that.”

His hand went to your chin and he looked you in the face. He rubbed his nose against yours and growled. You beat on his chest and he squeezed tighter.

“Shit, let’s not just rush out of here,” he released you, “You should get those away before they spoil.”

He stepped back and placed his hand on the front of his jacket, where his gun was hidden. You gaped at him and your eyes flitted to the door.

“Ah, don’t worry, we’ll be on our way soon enough,” he said, “So long as you hurry up.”

You swallowed and he moved with you as you went to the bags. He blocked the door as you pulled the straps apart and began to unpack shakily. You dropped a can and it rolled along the floor before he stopped it with his foot. He kicked it back and leaned an elbow on the door frame.

You picked it up with several other cans and went to the cupboard. You snapped the door closed as you felt around the drawer with your other hand. You heard a click and looked to Peter as he aimed his pistol at you. He tilted his head. 

“Don’t do that,” he intoned as your hand lingered just inches from the knives inside the drawer.

You went back to the spread of groceries and tried to ignore him as you put everything in its place. As you bent to fill the crisper, he purred, a sizzly ‘princess’ under his breath. You finished up and packed the bags one into the other. You left them on the counter and again, he put his gun away.

“Princess, let me tell you something,” he gripped the door handle, “I don’t take that out without using it very often so don’t press my patience.” He turned the knob slowly, “I’ve waited on you long enough.”

✨

The car ride was tense and long. Peter drove you uptown and you watched out the window helplessly. You rubbed your palms together nervously as they dampened with sweat. He’d taken your phone when you reached for it. He tossed it and it was somewhere on the floor.

He drove past the condos and the walk-ups and continued on nearly the exact path he’d taken on the momentous night. Another grand house awaited you but you remained in the seat as Peter climbed out. He opened your door and still you didn’t move. He reached across you to unbuckle the seat belt and grabbed your arm. He jerked you out onto your feet and sighed.

“Peter,” you begged, “What’s going on? Please, you’re scaring me.”

“Princess, have I done you wrong?” He asked but you didn’t answer. “I won’t hurt you.”

“You’re hurting me right now,” you wriggled your arm and he shoved you ahead of him.

“In,” he demanded as you stumbled up the rounded steps. “Now.”

You opened the door and stepped inside. You crossed the marble floor of the foyer as he directed you from behind. He followed at a pace, close enough that you couldn’t flee. Even if you did, you wouldn’t make it far.

“Pete,” the voice startled you and you stopped at the bottom of the wide staircase. Bucky stood in a doorway to your left. His gaze moved from you to Peter and back again. “I didn’t realise you brought company.”

“You’re still here?” Peter snipped.

“Was I supposed to leave?” He sneered. “You got me and Steve running around and you’re gonna kick us to the curb.”

“You don’t look very busy to me,” Peter growled and neared to rest his hand on your lower back. He leaned in and whispered in your ear. “Upstairs, turn left, the room at the very end. I don’t like hide and seek, you got me?”

You nodded and looked at Bucky again. His mouth slanted knowingly and his tongue poked out for just a moment. You turned up the stairs and left Peter behind. You reached the top and listened for a moment to his muffled voice.

“You and Steve do your fucking job and leave me alone. Understand. I don’t want to be bothered.” Peter snarled.

“Oh, I wouldn’t wanna be interrupted either,” Bucky snickered. “Not with her.”

“Go,” Peter barked. “Now.”

“Ay, you might be Tony’s man but you still gotta watch yourself,” Bucky warned. “This little arrangement isn’t gonna last forever…”

You went to your left and to the door at the end, like he said. You entered and couldn’t help but gasp at the immense bedroom. The black and white decor was expertly matched in marbles and exotics woods, plush velvet and polished sconces. You couldn’t help but admire the luxury.

You didn’t close the door. You glanced around dumbly and stood in one spot as you feared you might break something. You wrung your hands as you heard the steady footsteps and you spun as Peter entered. He looked even more agitated as he cracked his knuckles.

“Sorry about that, Princess,” he said, “Now where were we?” His eyes roved the room as he thought, “Ah, yes, an apology.”

“Apology. I…”

“Should I close the door?” He raised a brow, “You’d be surprised how sound carries in here.”

You frowned and he laughed as he swung the door shut. He neared you and bit the tip of his tongue as he considered you. His brown eyes bore into you and you took a step back. He stayed near and caught your wrist. His other hand fumbled with his belt and he let out a slow breath through his nose.

“Princess, I’d love to treat you how you deserve but you gotta be good to me too.” He pulled on your arm and twisted as you tried to resist. You hissed and he pushed your hand against his crotch. “I don’t forgive easy but I’m sure you can change that.”

“Don’t... don’t make me do this,” you uttered.

“Oh, but princess, you did this,” he pressed your hand around his bulge. “You take care of me and I’ll do the same.”

You parted your lips to argue and he grabbed the back of your head. He kissed you roughly and guided your hand to the top of his boxers. He slid your fingers under the elastic and urged you on, wrapping your fingers around his dick with a groan.

He squeezed until you gripped him firmly. He led your hand up and down as he held you to him, his hot breath filling you as it picked up. He forced his tongue into your mouth and you clawed at his jacket as he kept your other hand around him. He parted from your mouth at last and pressed his cheek to yours.

“Keep going, princess,” he purred as he slowly withdrew his hand from around yours. “You don’t wanna use your hand, I might think of something else.”

You quivered and slid your hand up and down his length. He nuzzled your neck and nibbled as he moaned against your skin. You could only move your hand as you stood against him stunned and rigid. He gripped your waist as you felt him tense and he murmured hungrily.

“Oh, princess,” he breathed and pushed his pelvis against your hands as he came. 

You felt the slick heat seep down your hand and slowed until he was breathless. He stilled your hand with his and carefully eased your hand from his pants. He stood straight and eyed your glistening fingers.

“Shit,” he swore as he caressed your cheek, “You made a mess of this suit.” He dropped his hand to the front of his pants as he smiled. He inhaled and pushed his shoulders back. “I forgive you, Princess.”

[dreamer-from-elm-street]

Alright *Deep inhale* This will be a long one so buckle up --------------------- THREAD Today is a special date for me. Year ago, Oct22 2022 I got out from occupied Berdiansk And now I'll show you the pic.... Gonna tell y'all how it was! Picking from the dusty shelf those triggering memories I recorded back then. On the photo - mindnumbingly happy person in Nov 2022

From a positive shock I really didn't understood a thing. For few month I forgot what is fear. I wasn't afraid of anything. Even air raid alerts and explosions. Like I was in a fairy tale But getting out was not easy !There will be a lot of text! I would not describe what farce we lived through in occupation

even though it wasn't a frontline. There was a lot of scary things and stories. Photos of the city are still triggering The last straw was "referendums" in September 2022 I was lucky: I sensed that it was my last chance to get out. And I was right. Not long after that the direct exit from occupied territories was closed

Right now it's ~$400 travel through russia and Europe My parents refused to leave. We argued a lot. So I dared to go alone. I got lucky [2]: since spring my friend from Kyiv suburbs called me to come to her place, but I hoped it'll get over quickly. Mom supported my decision. Dad said:

"What? Where? Do you want to live underground? What will it do to your mental state? There's missiles falling daily and limbs flying" But, of course, he couldn't hold me So I made my decision already in September 26 But managed to leave in Oct 22 Why such a delay? You'd wish it was as easy as just go to the station, buy a ticket and take a bus to Zaporizhzhya

From Oct 1st you needed a special pass, without which you'll get sent back on the last blockpost and no money or pleas can help with it. And to get the pass, I had to complete the hardest quest of my life:

finding road buddies. After Oct 1st it got really hard, it took me 2 weeks to find a company

few times we had to go to city hall and wait in many long queues to get a pass

the pass itself wasn't handed to you. You never know if can get out: you file a form, the send it digitally to the blockpost, and Satan knows when your name will show on a list to leave. Or won't show. It was a lottery. You can be denied for any bullshit reason - they won't tell you that though. You'll find it out soon. Even if you got in the list, you only have 5 days to get out.

list of names permitted to leave is quite literally a list on a piece of paper they read out loud in Vasylivka (occupied city in Zaporizhzhya oblast, the last blockpost before the grey zone) Sometimes it was allowed to take a picture of it for telegram channels so others can see if they made the cut

attempts to navigate other terms and nuances of leaving

at the same time - job and finding myself a replacement

and at the same time trying to keep my nerves when risk of not being able to leave rise up. Especially after Oct 19, when rashists (OP refers this way to russian fashists) announced martial law on occupied territories of Zaporizhzhya oblast

But on Oct 20 I found out people can still leave. And saw in a group chat that my name was in the list of those allowed to go [Got lucky 3] That was a moment of great joy! But there was still a journey to go Long and interesting. With FSB and diversants And I'll never forget it

We left at 6AM Oct 22 Went through 12 blockposts with rashists. Many times there they tried flirting, since in the car there's just me, two women and a child. On one blockpost we were examined by a 16 year old boy. He wore big glasses, was short and frowny

I watched as he tried to act strict and important, but actually hides his cowardice and insecurity Road is free, views are nice. Sunny. Occasionally something goes Boom somewhere far away Not scary And thus at 11AM we met the final boss. Blockpost with FSB workers in Vasylivka And they wanted to take our car

They created an issue over nothing, and they knew it was a made up issue, they had nothing on us. But "On this Mazda you can't pass. Passengers may go, car stays" They took car documents from our lady driver. Us, passengers, ran over to the line in search of someone who can take us with them

over those last fuckin kilometers of the grey zone. No places. I was so terrified, I couldn't even cry. I didn't wanted to walk back home, after all of this, I was ready to carry a 30kg luggage bag over the grey zone by myself, but without a car they won't let you

Then I, for some reason, ran to those same FSB workers. I tried to smile, be friendly, plead and try to reason with them. The angriest of them barked at me: "What do ya want?! We don't need prostitutes near road here!" I remember this now and cry. But finally got lucky [4]

We squeezed into cars of some poor people from Kherson, that waited in Vasylivka for the pass since September 30th... From Sept 30 to Oct 22nd they lived in their cars. Can't imagine what they had to go through. People were in tears, when finally allowed to go. They didn't checked our bags too thoroughly [Got lucky 5]

Weird. With other's they literally threw everything out on the ground. Mainly, in talk with those monsters I was transparent: openly stated I have two laptops and orcs, miraculously, didn't took it to their hideout to examine. Like what if I keep info on military objects there???

And my phone wasn't checked either [Got lucky 6] Did I cleaned it and logged off every account for nothing? Most of all I was scared of being interrogated: where I go, why and who's waiting me there. My version most likely won't be taken well and they'll send me back. Because I go to Kyiv

for a very long while, there's no relatives there, but you can't tell them that you're leaving permanently, you need a good enough reason, tell when you'll come back, pretend as if you'll miss russky mir so much, especially soldiers. I got a fairly nice buryat guy [Got lucky 7]

he just stood there near cars holding a gun, while russian orcs interrogated people and calmly, as in a casual chat, asked questions. "fly". His nickname was "fly" I lied profusely, said that I will be back in a month, that my parents are there, but I just want to visit friends in Zaporizhzhya

I just wanna bring them few things, but will be back in a month, pinky promise. To save my life I smiled to him, kept a friendly, almost genuine chat, said what a big heart he has (ew), how polite the guys at blockpost are (ewwwww!), used non-verbal signs of affection

And my soul was freezing cold from it It's so painful to remember Yet I didn't even noticed how I passed the scariest part - "interrogation". "How come such pretty gal don't have a boyfriend?", I didn't had to lie there. He asked for my number, and I gave him my russian one

I was forced to buy it in occupation. He messaged me in telegram for few weeks, flirted, and I responded sometimes. Couldn't just tell him to fuck off, since he could track my parents numbers through mine. But he just vanished one day and haven't been online for a long while. Well, rest in fuckin pieces, "fly" [Got lucky 8]

And even our lady driver on black Mazda was allowed out too! [Got lucky 9] FSB guys were just messing with her. Held her on edge from 11AM to 3PM. One guy that was there was dragged before my very eyes with a sack over his head into the orc car. I rode with people from Kherson. Saint people

They saved me, refused to take any money, I didn't knew how to thank them other than with words!!! As for our Mazda driver, she got a man as a passenger carpooled by orcs. His car was denied passage too. Grey zone was calm, grey clouds felt heavy. No shooting

And once we passed the "rollercoaster" (dirt road), when saw our (ie Ukrainian) flag, our first blockpost, I never knew I can be this happy. I was crying, hugging soldiers (as if I was fresh out of prison) I am crying now writing this At that moment my Vodafone and Kyivstar sprung back to life,

haven't heard from them in months. With happy tears and curses I pulled russian sim card out of my phone After that it all felt like in a haze: it's not real, it cannot be real. Near Zaporizhzhya we were questioned by police. Who are we, where are we from. There was no need to lie anymore

No need to create an elaborate story, watch your language. Ow, the feeling of the freedom to speak! Quite a trouble was given to the guy that was saddled to out poor driver. He wasn't just an unlucky dude carpooling. In her car orcs sat one of their dressed up guy. Our guys have been civil, without any sack on the head

packed the guy into a police car and took away. We were settled in the hub for refugees (for those who'll travel further without own transportation). There was food given twice a day. There was a place to get washed, even though water was cold. We slept in a bomb shelter. Safely. In the hub people helped each other

Everyone was united, volunteers helped out with everything. A big handful of humanitarian aid was given. I gave back like 80% of it - others needed it more, plus it wasn't feasible for me to drag heavy bags of pasta and flour to Kyiv. The biggest thing that surprised me once I got to the free Ukraine was that

that I was treated like a human being Like a person with feelings, troubles and worries. It took me a while to get used to the fact I have rights and freedoms (no joking). That when you see soldiers and police, you don't have be scared and look down. That you don't have to make up alibi over any situation and clean your phone

Only then I realized how much fearmongering was done to us For a long time I froze, seeing Ukrainian flags instead of russian tricolors and "we are one nation" on each banner. For a long time I couldn't wrap my head around it. Mind tried to protect itself from any unbearably strong emotions and changes, even positive ones.

For a long time I was in awe with tiny aspects of nice life and perks of civilization: card payments, ATMs, Nova Poshta. I was in awe with how lovely Ukrainian produce was. How tasty is the bread. I was overjoyed as a kid over Ukrainian motifs, merchandise, memes, "bayraktarshchyna" (OP refers to overusage of war related themes, namely Bayraktar drones, in marketing)

Few days I waited in a hub for a free bus to Kyiv - couldn't form a group of those wanting to go there. Thus on 25th I bought a train ticket and on 26th I was in my new home. Exactly a month after I decided to leave. And now, a year in I regret nothing

I don't regret choosing to leave and leaving. A year ago I started a new life in all meanings of it and I treasure it this way. I cherish the fact I am free and I realize it's all thanks to our defenders 💛 I only regret that my parents stayed, miss them a lot.... But we do keep in touch, they're somewhat OK

Remembering it was hard Now you know that there's stories that are hidden behind usual dry news title: "Over the last 24 hours from temporarily occupied territories successfully evacuated 247 people, 52 of them - children" You just read a story of one of those 247 souls that were saved on October 22, 2022 [Got lucky 10]

[godshideouscreation]

Sorry this secret is long, every time I try to rewrite it this happens, dont feel obligated to post this I just keep seeing your tag and this is the biggest albatross around my neck no contest, so... *deep inhale*

I had a really rough falling out with a long time online friend. It was a few years ago at this point but it hit me really hard. In retrospect it was a pretty toxic friendship, I loved them to pieces, and they only Sometimes reciprocated when it was convenient for them, and whenever it wasnt they spoke as if I meant nothing to them and always recontextualized our whole history. I kick myself for ignoring all their red flags.

The final straw was the last time we tried to hang out in-person. It was the 2nd time I was visiting, last time was fun so I was excited. I had been talking with them and their partner and we were gonna hook up and it was all chill, but at Some Point in the months before my visit something changed their mind and they just...didnt tell me. I still have no idea why, after Years of plantonic friendship and honestly not even That much sexual stuff (we'd go months and months with no nsfw talk or pics or anything it was fine that was obviously Not why I was friends with them) and suddenly they accuse me of being some kinda sex pest. The kicker: I Was in-fact able to correctly read the room and didnt attempt to have sex with either of them, but I didnt read it well enough.

When I got to their place I immediately felt the vibes, and knew I wasnt gonna be up to anything. But like Oh Well I just wanted a chill weekend with my bestie. They never brought Anything up with me so I said to myself "maybe that other local friend they were complaining about recently pissed them off and theyre stressed out, im sure if it was something serious they'd tell me." I Should Not Have Been Sure Of This.

So while I knew they didnt want to fuck, I had no idea they didnt want Any kind of affection or platonic touch from me anymore, and it wasnt until A Week After I Left I DM'd them asking why they were being so cold and distant wit me and they Finally told me how uncomfortable I apparently made them and their partner the whole weekend. They went the Whole Weekend pretending they were having a grand ol' time and could have absolutely at ANY point tell me "Hey actually Im not feeling super touchey right now" and like Boom Problem Solved We Are All Adults Please Communicate With Me.

Again, why after Years of open honesty and communication from me they suddenly accused me of only wanting sex from them and of doing predatory shit to them and their partner when they made No attempt to re-establish their new boundaries with me before or during my trip.

Honestly in that moment I was too emotional and freaked out to have a very healthy conversation with them. It was a long ugly back and forth but I was finally like I cant do this. We cant be friends. And we parted on Supposedly Amicable terms cuz like weve both had friend-break-ups before lets see how we feel down the road, but like the closeness is Gone for sure.

Even Then they still werent being honest. I actually blocked them on social media for a while just to cool my head and not have to see them. But when I tried to follow them again THATS when them and all their closest friends blocked me which was very ???? to me. Smash-cut to last year I had a friend DM me, Thankfully after I had already left twitter cuz fuck twitter (i am sadly back on twitter 😒...), saying my now ex-friend was painting the whole ordeal as an attempted sexual assault or whatever. When I wasnt even trying to fuck that whole time!!

They have a lot of trauma in their past that isnt mine to share, and I Dont so I always deferred to them on it, trusted they werent abusing that victimization to escape their responsibility as an adult to be more communicative with me, but I have other people in my life with similar pasts who assured me later "No, thats no excuse, they cant blame everyone else on their own social problems, fuck that." I spent a whole year losing sleep over the ordeal. WAS it my fault? Was SOME of it my fault? Was NONE of it my fault? Was it Anyone's fault??? I'll probably never have a satisfying answer.

But since then Ive transitioned and dont even look the same or go by the same name, but still have some friends we shared and hang out in a couple online social circles where I hear about their partner sometimes who lied to me even harder than they did about still being cool with me when they absolutely were not (when I told them they never said they didnt want to have sex, they brought up when they told me they were on their period and THAT was supposed to be my only hint, even tho they pretended to be really broken up about it as-if we'd have fucked otherwise????? Childish, anyway). Im always slightly paranoid they'll stumble upon me and realize who I am and try to force me into hiding or whatever when I've done literally nothing to them since they blocked me. Because apparently their version of what happened only got worse since then, so clearly they hold a grudge, and Im just some random trans bitch online minding my own business.

Normally I'd write it off as paranoia, but as you can tell just from this one example, and there Are other stories, any time I wrote off a hyper specific fear of them not telling me something as just paranoia and would eventually confront them about it, itNever was and they would always make my fears be true. They Always prove me right. They really fucked with my head...

Again, sorry for the length, it all just comes falling out of me when I try to be brief about it all.

It's okay! I really hope that venting about stuff has given you some slight piece of mind. I've met a lot of people online over the years and to keep it short, I'll just say that not all of them are what they seem. A lot of my friendships were really fucking one sided. They weren't genuine, people lied to me and used me for whatever. It definitely sucks when people hold grudges or make up lies about you, I've been in that boat before too. But the people who know you, know that you're not that kind of person. You have to have faith in the people around you.. Idk people present this persona online but like, we're all different from how we present ourselves online. It's weird to be friends with grown ass adult people who don't know how to honestly and openly communicate though. Some people legitimately do not have those skills. And I hope that you get to keep your peace now that you're not talking to those people anymore. Hopefully they won't recognize you since transition and if they do, they just stfu and leave you alone! You know your truth & all you can do is live with it. Know that you're better off without those people. Don't be sorry and you can always come in my ask box to vent! Sometimes we don't get closure on a subject and the best thing we can do is give ourselves the closure of not thinking about it or worrying about it anymore. I know it's easier said than done though 😅

[daesungindistress]

Thoughts on GD's latest insta post? this might seem dramatic but I think this is the last straw for me, all the other things ot5 were seeing seemed like delusions but this one is pretty clear and on the nose. I'm ready to leave if they still support him, and gd is my bias so this is very disappointing... Unless they publicly condemn his actions I don't think I can trust them and continue liking them like before

Interestingly, just last night I was thinking about how he used his personal account to like that pic on IG not long ago when it was posted by an acquaintance. Not only that, he replied with a heart emoji. At the time I was willing to overlook it given the caption that made it less about BIGBANG and more about something else, as if the image was a generic (if clumsily selected) expression of unity, but I thought to myself, somewhat dramatically, if he ever posts it on his public account that’s it. It’s over.

Then I woke up today, saw he’d posted, and there it was. That damned photo that was giving me grief last night staring right back at me this morning.

I don’t know how it can be taken any other way, really. That is one of BIGBANG’s most iconic images; any VIP would recognize it as a symbol of solidarity and unity, and there’s no getting around that fifth hand. Uploading it the way he did today sends a strong message -- and a stupid one. One that’s hard to deny and one I cannot in good conscience stand behind. They may not come back as five, but evidently, Jiyong longs for it. He’s too damn sentimental for his own good. Trapped in his feels or some shit. Youngbae has said he struggles with that sometimes. Making difficult decisions. Dealing with confrontation. Letting go.

The problem is, this shouldn’t be difficult, not anymore. It’s been nearly 2 years. This isn’t just “a bad image” as I’ve seen it said, it’s downright offensive. It’s strange to think that photo of the five interlocked hands used to be one of my favorite representations of BB. Now I can’t fucking stand it.

So, my thoughts are that I am done making excuses for him. If GD intends to lead BIGBANG onward as four he’s going about it all wrong. Any criticism that comes his way is on him; he brings it upon himself and I won’t defend it, not a word. I’m just sorry for the other members that will get dragged through the fire by association. Daesung especially, considering what he went through last year because of Seungri. Any chances he may have had of making that long-awaited solo comeback in Korea are most likely dust. It's BIGBANG or bust.

I will add that GD is the one member of the group who I have always found near impossible to read. We don’t connect. So while I don’t know with certainty what he’s thinking or why he moves the way he does, after this, whatever is going through his head I don’t trust him anymore to make good choices, or the right one. There it is, the truth laid bare, ever since that ridiculous painting of those five figurines back in the spring. I’ve held onto this for so long because I am aware my words are watched and I want to be a source of reassurance for so many of you, meaning that unless you talk to me privately you would never know the doubts that eat away at me daily, many of which are centered on GD. I paint over the cracks again and again but I still feel them. It’s why I’ve been unable to get excited about those rumors of a solo comeback, which feels too much like buying time until the group can be -- brb throwing up --  five again.

FWIW I still don’t think it’s possible, I believe YG will prevent this from happening, what with how they were so quick to disown him once he was gone, but if that’s what the guys want? How is that any better?

Like you, I’m disappointed. Hurt. Angry. To put it lightly. But more than anything, and perhaps worst of all, I’m wary. It feels too much like the guys are playing both sides, trying to retain as many backers as possible. Trying to have their cake and eat it too. They send mixed signals, when they bother to send signals at all. I thought they were better than this. I wanted them to be. BIGBANG have promised us flowers but then GD goes and does shit like this and it looks like he plans to march us through the flames all over again. Like we haven’t gone through hell and back for them and been ghosted all year long as some backasswards reward for our efforts.

Like every other group who lost a member as a result of Burning Sun, I expected them to stand up for themselves and their life’s work and those who want what’s best for them a whole year ago, making it clear they were moving on as-is. I never thought they would handle this so poorly, so evasively, so cowardly, testing the waters to see what they could get away with, never displaying his face outright but relying on imagery that only fans would recognize... all this time they've let elapse in silence and this is where we are. Right back where we started, or so it seems.

If they still support him they need to man up, do what they did with TOP in 2017, and open up about it. We had Youngbae giving interviews in which he spoke freely about how he was helping Seunghyun in the immediate aftermath of his ordeal. We had GD posting pics of himself with Seunghyun, along with the caption “our hyung”. We had fans asking GD directly if TOP was still a member of BIGBANG, to which GD answered plainly, yes.

The support for their bandmate back then was unmistakable. This is not that. But if this is support, it’s so underhanded. Whatever it is, just come out with it already. Stop speaking through imagery and expecting everyone to get it. Let us know beyond a doubt what exactly we’re waiting for so that if it’s not what we want we can make an informed decision to not waste any more time or emotional energy on people who aren't worth it.

All I ask is honesty.

[likelightningafterthethunder]

Like Lightning After the Thunder: Chapter One: Damned Smile

Fic Summary:

His breath wavered as he stared into Katsuki’s eyes. He knew he could get out if he tried. He could knock Katsuki out, hope that no one else would find them, and run back into the shadows where he belonged. Katsuki may have had him pinned down but he was in Denki’s range now and it would take little effort to send a charge through Katsuki to paralyze him temporarily.

It would take barely any additional effort to kill Katsuki.

As the sparks began to charge, lighting up the air around him, Katsuki refused to back down.

–

Katsuki always knew he was destined for great things.

He didn’t think he’d have to turn his back on all he’s ever known to get there.

Rating: T

Warnings: Eventual major character death, implied/referenced child abuse, psychological trauma

Other Tags: Bakugou Katsuki/Kaminari Denki, slow burn, alternate universe - canon divergence

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Even years later, that damn smile haunted his dreams.

There was absolutely no reason for him to still think about the event. Everything had been taken care of when it had happened― injuries were treated, authorities alerted, information secured, and a press conference to tie it all up in a big red bow. There were no loose ends, no surprise second coming, no physical reminders of what happened lingering in his daily life. Katsuki would have labeled it as done, dealt with, and no longer relevant, shoving it aside in his memory so he could focus on actual important shit.

Except his mind had different plans.

When he was lucky, he could completely forget about the event for months. Other times, his dreams would be filled with nothing but that damn smile, taunting him with its silence. He could usually predict when the dreams would come― the anniversary of the event for example― but other times, it seemed like anything could trigger the memory. He once saw a bright yellow balloon and for the rest of the day, every time he closed his eyes he saw that damned smile, never wavering despite the curses and insults Katsuki spewed.

He wanted to forget it. He wanted so desperately to forget it. For the image to erase itself from his mind, for it to take the feelings away with it. He could deal with the anger, he could always deal with the anger, but when his memory reminded him of the wave of hurt and betrayal that nearly blinded him…

When his alarm jolted him from his sleep and freed him from the smile, he couldn’t get out of bed fast enough. He woke up drenched in a cold sweat, sheets singed and smoking lightly as he unclenched his hands, and Katsuki was, for once, very relieved that not all of his sweat was explosive. He slapped the singes a few times to ensure that all of the embers were put out before heading for the bathroom, cursing under his breath as he flinched at his own reflection in the mirror.

There was nothing particularly wrong with his appearance, if you didn’t count the dark circles under his eyes from a fitful night’s sleep or his clammy skin, but after being plagued by the smile, Katsuki could barely look at himself. His reaction to the smile made him feel weak, like he couldn’t handle himself and that there was something wrong with him. It was just a smile after all. There was no reason for him to react to it like a nightmare, no reason for him to lose sleep over it or to feel overwhelmed by emotions at the thought of it.

Yet when he saw the smile and saw how the corners of his mouth were tugged a bit too tight, how his eyes were open a bit too wide, how the only shine in his eyes were the reflections of light on tears that refused to fall…

Katsuki cursed.

The icy cold shower did little to help distract him from the memory, nor did his morning run nor the steaming shower he took after. He wasn’t supposed to head into the agency today, so he didn’t have any planned beatdowns for today, and yes he probably shouldn’t be hoping for it, but part of him hoped for a sudden emergency villain so he could distract himself by focusing on beating some villain’s ass into next week.

A few hours later when his phone refused to stop buzzing, Katsuki wondered if throwing his phone across the room until it stopped would be close enough to beating villain ass to work. He reluctantly decided that talking to people so they’d leave him alone was probably less hassle to deal with than having to replace his phone and distribute his new number (even if it would give him an excuse to ghost some of these damn extras).

A few individual texts and a group text were the cause of the buzzing. As the group text’s new message count continued to rise, he figured it would be easier to respond to the individual texts first. Just in case he changed his mind about destroying the phone.

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Hello Bakugou, this is a reminder about the upcoming Class A reunion. As the head of the reunion committee, it is my duty to ensure an accurate headcount for the event, and I have yet to receive your response about your attendance. Please ensure to respond via the following link by this Friday at 11:59PM. [Class A 10 Year Reunion RSVP]

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): In case you missed the previous messages regarding the reunion, the event is March 28th starting at 7PM at the Shinjuku Hotel in Musutafu. If you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.

Katsuki frowned. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to the possibility of being surrounded by all of his former classmates and even less at the idea of being socially obligated to spend the entire evening with them. At least when he met up with his friends elsewhere, he could always claim needing to leave early so he could make the last train or that work needed him to come in early the next day.

He closed out of the conversation, figuring he still had a few more days to decide if he really wanted to deal with his classmates for an entire evening.

Midoriya: Hey Katsugou! I was wondering if you’re going to go to the reunion? Tenya said the deadline to RSVP is coming soon and we haven’t heard from you, so I just thought I’d check in!

Katsuki: The fuck is Katsugou?

Midoriya: Oh sorry!! Typo!!

Midoriya: Anyway, are you coming?

Katsuki closed out of the conversation and moved on to the next one.

Shitty Hair: Katsuki! Are you coming to the reunion or not dude????

Katsuki: Fuck off.

Shitty Hair: Aww dude that’s no way to talk to your best friend, you know you love me!!

Katsuki: I’m blocking you.

He did not, in fact, block him. But he did close out of Eijirou’s texts.

Save for the newest text sent directly from Eijirou, all that was left was the backlog of texts in the group text. It had kept going off while he was reading the other conversations, so Katsuki figured it meant that everyone was either off for the day or on their lunch break.

Raccoon Eyes: guys!!!!! the reunion is COMING UPPPPPP!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: i cant wait to s

Raccoon Eyes: ee all of u guys again!!

Tape Face: lmao you saw us last week

Raccoon Eyes: yes

Raccoon Eyes: an eteRNITY ago

Raccoon Eyes: and like

Raccoon Eyes: kats left early so we didnt have everyone

Raccoon Eyes: so it doesnt count

Shitty Hair: Yeah Katsuki don’t leave early next time!!

Raccoon Eyes: we just have to hold him hostage next time

Raccoon Eyes: or like

Raccoon Eyes: AMBUSH him

Tape Face: i can always tape him up

Raccoon Eyes: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Raccoon Eyes: tape him to the wall

Raccoon Eyes: and then like

Raccoon Eyes: steal his wallet

Raccoon Eyes: cant get on transit w no moneys

Raccoon Eyes: ei and han hold him down

Raccoon Eyes: i run to hide his wallet where he cant fi

Raccoon Eyes: nd it

Raccoon Eyes: probs keeps kats tapped to the wall all night

Raccoon Eyes: free up his arms so he can have a drink????

Tape Face: explosion palms dude

Raccoon Eyes: oh u right

Raccoon Eyes: he can just have a cup w like

Raccoon Eyes: a REALLY REALLY long straw

Raccoon Eyes: make sure u tape him up w his hands behind his back

Tape Face: you got it

Shitty Hair: He’s in this chat guys he’s going to see the plan

Raccoon Eyes: whatevs we can still totally blindside him

Raccoon Eyes: ANYWAYS

Raccoon Eyes: ure all going right?????

Tape Face: ya I rsvpd a while back

Shitty Hair: Yep!! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Raccoon Eyes: what about u kats

Raccoon Eyes: kats???

Raccoon Eyes: KAAAAAAAAAAAAATS

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: a

Shitty Hair: I’ll text him separately

Raccoon Eyes: t

Tape Face: he probably has this muted lmao

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: !!!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: how dare u ignore us

Raccoon Eyes: after everything weve done for u!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: thought we were ur ride or die hoes

Raccoon Eyes: dont tell me ur not going!!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: im so offended

Raccoon Eyes: how could u do this to us kats

Shitty Hair: Maybe he’s at work today?

Raccoon Eyes: boo

Raccoon Eyes: how dare he prioritize wo

Raccoon Eyes: rk over us

Raccoon Eyes: his best friends

Raccoon Eyes: the suns of his life

Raccoon Eyes: the bit of happiness in the cold

Raccoon Eyes: cold

Raccoon Eyes: cold

Tape Face: coooooooooold

Raccoon Eyes: COOOOOOOOLD

Raccoon Eyes: thing he calls a heart

Shitty Hair: Lmao

Tape Face: its got a bit of warmth

Tape Face: most of it is his temper

Raccoon Eyes: boom boom POW

Raccoon Eyes: well while we wait for kats

Raccoon Eyes: help me pick some photos for the slideshow!!

Tape Face: are you doing only UA pics or some stuff since then

Tape Face: somehow iida managed to not specify lmao

Shitty Hair: The info email was like ten pages, how did he miss it

Tape Face: idk

Raccoon Eyes: ive got plenty for both!!

Raccoon Eyes: momo said pref UA pics but some new stuff is good too

Raccoon Eyes: show how far weve come n all that

Tape Face: oh cool let me get some opinions then too

Shitty Hair: Anyone have any pics of the camping trip from second year?

Raccoon Eyes: before or after todoroki and kats’ fight turned it into a icy hot springs

Shitty Hair: Both lmao but probably before it went to hell

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: ofc ive got us chillin in the springs

Raccoon Eyes: well most of us

Raccoon Eyes: kats u never get in the water w us :C

Raccoon Eyes: lets go to the beach next time!!

Tape Face: hed prob boil the water w you in it if you dragged him in lmao

Tape Face: spicy acid time

Raccoon Eyes: id like to see him TRY

Shitty Hair: Don’t tempt him lmao

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: i got like a shit ton more

Raccoon Eyes: should i send some of THE FIGHT

Shitty Hair: Maybe not

Tape Face: yes

Tape Face: well

Tape Face: depends on how many pissed off katsuki pics youre putting in lmao

Raccoon Eyes: OH

Raccoon Eyes: OHHHH

Raccoon Eyes: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tape Face: ?

Raccoon Eyes: dude

Raccoon Eyes: do u have the POMERANIAN pic

Tape Face: o shit

Tape Face: image.png

Shitty Hair: I still think Katsuki should’ve taken that pup home

Shitty Hair: They’re matching!

Tape Face: image.png

Tape Face: i also have this one

Tape Face: when she tried to bite his nose off lmao

Raccoon Eyes: kats couldve named her king explosion murder

Raccoon Eyes: or just murder

Raccoon Eyes: p sure she wouldve tried to murder kats at least o

Raccoon Eyes: nce

Tape Face: lmao she basically tried when he found her

Shitty Hair: Maybe it’s for the best that he didn’t keep the pup

Tape Face: look what i found

Tape Face: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW YES

Raccoon Eyes: LOOK AT USSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: we look FABBBB

Shitty Hair: Is that from the dance?

Tape Face: ye

Raccoon Eyes: guys what if we recreate that pic at the reunion

Raccoon Eyes: the fits?

Raccoon Eyes: immaculate

Raccoon Eyes: the pose?

Raccoon Eyes: perfection

Tape Face: hotel?

Tape Face: trivago

Shitty Hair: I’m down for recreating some pics!

Raccoon Eyes: yessssss

Raccoon Eyes: u have no choice either kats u gotta do it

Raccoon Eyes: wherever u are

Shitty Hair: Oh he replied!!

Raccoon Eyes: SWEET

Raccoon Eyes: what he say

Shitty Hair: He said fuck off

Tape Face: as expected

Shitty Hair: Lmao he threatened to block me again

Tape Face: thought he said he was blocking you last week

Shitty Hair: Yea exactly

Raccoon Eyes: HOW RUDE

Raccoon Eyes: as punishment for not paying attention to us

Raccoon Eyes: im gonna send this

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Tape Face: LMAO whend you make that

Shitty Hair: Is that Katsuki with a cat face and ears

Shitty Hair: Dude I don’t know if he’s going to kill you for that or for the pink hair first lmao

Raccoon Eyes: lmao made it just now

Raccoon Eyes: well MAYBE if he ANSWERED us

Katsuki: Delete it.

Tape Face: O SHIT

Tape Face: you summoned him

Raccoon Eyes: NO I WILL NOT

Katsuki: Delete it Raccoon Eyes or else I’m coming for you.

Tape Face: are you coming for the left shoes and shittin in them

Raccoon Eyes: NOOOOOOO not my shoes!!!!!!!!

Tape Face: its just the left shoes tho

Raccoon Eyes: BUT THATS MY FAVE SIDE

Katsuki: What the fuck are you two going on about?

Raccoon Eyes: DONT COME FOR M

Raccoon Eyes: Y LEFT SHOES KATS IM SORRY

Katsuki: I’m not coming for your fucking left shoes. Or any of your shoes.

Katsuki: I will be coming for you if you don’t delete that picture, though.

Raccoon Eyes: FORGIVENESS

Raccoon Eyes: I BEG

Raccoon Eyes: PLSSSSS

Katsuki: Delete the picture.

Raccoon Eyes: ugh fiiiiiiiiiine

Raccoon Eyes: its deleted

Raccoon Eyes: i wont send it to momo for the slide show

Katsuki: Good.

Raccoon Eyes: IF U COME TO THE REUNION

Katsuki: Fuck off.

Shitty Hair: C’mon Katsuki!! It’ll be fun!!

Tape Face: ya it wouldnt do if we didnt have our exploding star

Raccoon Eyes: ill send momo WORSE if u dont come

Raccoon Eyes: nd u wont know WHAT til AFTER

Raccoon Eyes: so PLSSSSSSSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: PRETTY PLSSSSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: PLS COME TO THE REUNION

Raccoon Eyes: ill spam u a lot worse if u dont show us proof of rsvp

Raccoon Eyes: pls kaaaaaaaaats

Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaaaaaats

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: a

Katsuki: Ugh fucking fine, I’ll do the RSVP now then.

Raccoon Eyes: t

Raccoon Eyes: YAY

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Good afternoon, Bakugou! I just wanted to confirm with you that I have received your RSVP for the Class A reunion. As a reminder, if you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.

Katsuki: image.png

Katsuki: image.png

Katsuki: Four Eyes is watching the RSVP form like a fucking hawk apparently.

Raccoon Eyes: YAAAAAY URE RSVPD!!!

Shitty Hair: You know him, always dedicated to his work

Tape Face: sweet

Raccoon Eyes: are u guys getting rooms

Tape Face: yea musutafus too far for a round trip

Tape Face: esp since itll prob end late

Shitty Hair: I got one for the weekend!

Tape Face: wbu mina

Raccoon Eyes: booked a room already!!

Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaats wbu

Raccoon Eyes: u should

Raccoon Eyes: we could have a brunch or lunch or s/t thats just us

Raccoon Eyes: plsssssss kats

Katsuki: I’ll think about it.

Tape Face: better than a no lmao

Shitty Hair: If they run out of space or if you decide last second, you can room with me dude

Raccoon Eyes: awww why not a yes

Katsuki: I haven’t asked the other Four Eyes for the time off yet.

Tape Face: is this four eyes no4 or no15

Raccoon Eyes: four eyes no69

Raccoon Eyes: no wait

Raccoon Eyes: no420

Tape Face: haha blaze it

Raccoon Eyes: BLAZE IT

Shitty Hair: It’s number 7

Katsuki: Fuck you, I don’t have that many Four Eyes saved in my phone.

Shitty Hair: I’d be surprised if you had 420 contacts period dude

Raccoon Eyes: would b hilarious tho

Katsuki: Yes, it’s Four Eyes number 7.

Shitty Hair: I was right!!

Katsuki: Why would I ask any of the other Four Eyes for time off? They’re not my fucking bosses.

Tape Face: dunno

Raccoon Eyes: idk maybe ure secretly dating one a

Raccoon Eyes: nd have to confirm that its ok

Raccoon Eyes: ARE U SECRETLY DATING A FOUR EYES

Raccoon Eyes: U HAVE TO TELL US IF U ARE

Raccoon Eyes: URE LEGALLY OBLIGATED

Tape Face: o shit

Tape Face: scandalous

Katsuki: Shut the fuck up, I’m not dating anyone, secret or not.

Raccoon Eyes: thats what they all say

Katsuki: Whatever. I’m not dating anyone.

Raccoon Eyes: kats n four eyes no420 sittin in a tree

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: i

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: i

Katsuki: I’ll blow up all of your left shoes when you’re not home.

Raccoon Eyes: n

Raccoon Eyes: NO

Raccoon Eyes: IM STOPPING DONT DO IT

Shitty Hair: Hey what do you guys think of this photo

Shitty Hair: image.png

Tape Face: dude yes

Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW OUR FIRST BILLBOARDS AS PROS

Katsuki: Do we really need to send them pictures? It’s not like we fucking forgot this stuff already.

Tape Face: you can be a killjoy if you want lmao

Tape Face: im sure mina will send more than enough to cover for you

Raccoon Eyes: U BETCHA

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Tape Face: lmao why do you have a pic of katsuki throwing ei

Shitty Hair: I still can’t believe you did that bro

Shitty Hair: WITHOUT WARNING TOO

Katsuki: I gave you plenty of fucking warning.

Shitty Hair: Saying “I’m throwing you” AS YOU’RE THROWING ME is NOT PLENTY OF WARNING DUDE

Raccoon Eyes: im always ready to document golden moments

Katsuki: Shut the fuck up. We won the training exercise so what’s it fucking matter?

Shitty Hair: YOU THREW ME!!

Katsuki: Tape Face caught you before you could get hurt.

Shitty Hair: YOU /THREW/ ME!!!!!!

Tape Face: barely caught

Katsuki: Whatever.

Raccoon Eyes: im still impressed by how eASY u made that look

Katsuki: What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?

Raccoon Eyes: o look conveniently timed distraction photo spam

Katsuki sighed as he continued the conversation, commenting here and there on the photos his friends sent for judgement. In retrospect, he probably should have tried to talk to Shion first, since there was a chance she would have denied the time off for the reunion. Although, knowing her, she would have accepted just to force Katsuki into socializing. He opened up a new text message, figuring that if Shion did decide to deny the time off, he would at least have a screenshot to send to his friends explaining the sudden change in plans.

Katsuki: I need March 28th and 29th off.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Do my eyes deceive me? The great Katsuki Bakugou, asking for time off?

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): I’m amazed! Usually I have to ask you to take the day off!

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Nay, not ask, but force!

Katsuki: Are you going to give it to me or not?

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Depends! What do you need the time off for?

Katsuki: Class reunion.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Oh those are fun!

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Fill out the proper time off paperwork and have it on my desk by Monday. I’ll approve the time off.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Just keep your phone on you in case we need you to come in for an emergency, but I’ll try not to ruin your reunion with work.

Katsuki: Thanks.

Well, so much for an easy way out.

Katsuki pinched the bridge of his nose when he noticed that his phone had already accumulated another thirty texts in the past few minutes, no doubt primarily from Mina. He scrolled through the backlog, sending a few mostly empty threats when he saw photos he did not want projected for the entire class to see, freezing when his gaze met a pair of familiar amber eyes.

Shit.

In his scramble to close out of the photo, to escape the genuine smile that somehow was more haunting than the one in his dreams, he left the group text completely. He briefly thanked his past self; he’d impulse or rage quit the group text plenty of times before that this wasn’t unusual behavior. If he was lucky, his friends wouldn’t have noticed the timing of his departure and would assume he was just fed up with the notifications or the conversation.

Shitty Hair: You okay, Katsuki?

A weak laugh escaped Katsuki’s lips as he read the newest notification. Of course Eijirou noticed.

Katsuki: I’m fine.

Shitty Hair: Okay

Shitty Hair: We don’t have to talk about it

Shitty Hair: But if you want to, I’m here dude

Shitty Hair: I’ll tell the others that you left so your phone would shut up and not to add you back yet

Katsuki: Thanks. Really.

Shitty Hair: No problem dude

Katsuki put his phone down, silently praying for the smile to leave him alone.

When he finally laid down for bed that night, he repeated the short prayer, for a peaceful night’s rest free of the smile, of the hurt, of the pain, of the guilt.

But as always, the smile came.

[muthaz-rapapa]

Let’s talk TroPreCure! (^∀^ 🌺)

i’m so stupidly proud of this dumb pun “tropurikyua~”, hahahahaha

Last post of the year and wow is there are lot to be excited for!

I even had to make a list for the stuff I want to talk about and I’m sure I already forgot one or two things but we’ll get to them as we continue to float~ along the wave to February 28th, mmkay? :)

Now for what has peaked my interest so far. And yes, we have to talk about the following first:

1) HealPre the shortest Precure season??

Unless they plan for double features in February (which I doubt but you never know), HealPre is likely going to reach only 45 episodes long instead of the usual 48~50 before TroPre I’m using this shortening of the title for now so if there’s a better alternative, tell me and I’ll switch out begins its broadcast.

Understandable because the producers probably want to get back to their normal scheduling as soon as possible (toy sales, y’know) and I suspect pushing the start of the new season back by a month is the most they’re willing to compromise.

As for me, I’m quite happy about this since HealPre’s lost its hold on my attention a while ago so the sooner TroPre gets here, the better. Though the downside might be a scrambled climax and a rushed, underwhelming ending for HealPre (I dunno if it’s January’s titles that feel a bit messy or if the hiatus is still throwing me off) but whatever. We’ll refresh ourselves with the new blood Cures so it’s all good.

2) Tropical movie announced for Autumn 2021, no All Stars??

(source)

First saw this mentioned on Youtube somewhere but it’s all over the fandom forums by now. I mean, HealPre’s movie is set for March, the usual time slot for All Stars release. If Toei intended for there to be an All Stars in 2021, there’s no way they would announce the seasonal movie before it so speculations of them skipping it this year are probably true.

To squeeze it somewhere between March and October-ish would force them to readjust their budgets as well and I don’t think even Toei wants to go through that extra hassle after all the trouble the pandemic’s caused for everyone already. It’s just easier to resume All Stars in 2022.

That, and I think Laura being a major character in TroPre despite not having a Cure title (yet) would make for an awkward situation when the three latest teams gather so perhaps that’s also one of the reasons. But I’ll get back to Laura in a bit.

3) Cure Summer is a RAINBOW Cure

So god help me if I see anyone calling her a Pink Cure.

Yes, she’s the lead Cure for this season. NO, she is not a Pink Cure.

Look, even the official website has a rainbow overlay for her profile pic and text font while everyone else’s respective theme colors are a solid hue:

Therefore, RAINBOW.

In promotional material and merchandising, they’re probably going to advertise her primarily with pink bah and at worst, she might occasionally be labeled as a White Cure with multiple subcolors (her outfit is not pink-dominant) but definitely NOT. PINK.

...also, this goes without saying but f***yea, we finally got a lead Cure practically and unabashedly wearing the LGBTQ flag and you cannot tell me otherwise, Toei!

Own up to it! Declare Manatsu/Cure Summer as the Precure queer icon!

I’m not gonna stop yellin’ until you do! 😠

4) Laura = obvious midseason Cure is obvious

First of all, Laura is a babe. I already love her the best and she’s not even Precure yet. <3

Anyways, the set-up is pretty much in the description. Important main character who’s not a mascot, stated to have a self-confident personality and just speaks her mind (oooh, I like~ :D), magical/foreign being from another world looking for Precure to save her home, possesses her own special item(s), has aspirations to become the next Queen (so she’s a princess-candidate or something to that effect, I suppose).

We’ve seen various combinations of these traits in past midseason (and a few starter) Cures so nobody should be surprised when we all guessed that one of the Cures would be a real live mermaid.

The only question is why not just make Laura a Cure from the get-go if she’s introduced to us at the beginning (like Hime or Lala) and having a team of five with no unnecessary extra add-ons later on (like Smile).

Well, there’s a simple answer for that: formula.

Toei is afraid that if they don’t spit out some new animation sequence at the halfway and third quarter points of the show, the kids will lose interest and abandon the series altogether. Which means failed toy sales. Oh nooo... [/sarcasm]

...Yea. 

And this way they can also have Laura available in the Cure lineup for the next All Stars in 2022 instead of making her sit the fight out if we were going to have one in 2021. I’m convinced that’s gotta be one of the reasons. *shrug*

But ok, whatever. Her debut is gonna be later, that’s all. She’s a delayed Cure.  Midseason Cure, same difference.

Moving along to the more important stuff now like what’s her Cure name gonna be, y/y?

Well, knowing Toei, a translation of the term “mermaid” into another language is the most predictable route even though we already have a Cure Mermaid. Not like that ever stopped them from repeating words before (ex. Cure Happy vs Cure Felice). Though if they do go down that road, I hope they opt for the Spanish/Italian “sirena” and not the French “sirène” because the latter sounds too close to how Cure Selene is pronounced in Japanese. And, putting it nicely, we all know Japanese pronunciation of foreign words is as off kilter as can be.

Hell, even the the Portuguese “sereia” sounds aesthetic as hell so it’d be nice if they can just remember there are other languages that exist out there besides Japanese, English and French when making the final decision at the writing table! *stomps foot* >:/

Alternatively, “nereid” or “naiad” are good choices too but they remind me too much of Greek myths and Laura’s from the Grand Ocean which covers more than just a couple of seas (Greece is surrounded by three, btw) so...

I dunno. But whatever it’s gonna be, she’s definitely got a strong association with water and her powers will probably be based on that.

As for theme color, since there’s noticeably no blue or green Cure in the starter lineup, it’s likely she will take up that spot when she debuts around ep 20.

Pink is also open since Cure Summer, again, is technically not a Pink Cure and Laura’s hair and tail fin are hot and light pink respectively but looking at Laura’s design and concept, does anyone seriously believe that?

Her upper torso consists of aquamarine while the body of her tail is definitely some shade of cyan, implying they’re aiming for somewhere around the middle of green and blue on the lighter spectrum.

And yea, I’m aware that green and blue are considered exchangeable in some perspectives with how close some of their shades are to each other but officially, I think Laura’s gonna be grouped with the Green Cures.

Cuz of the hair. If Laura’s gonna keep it the same or a similar shade after transforming, that is. The Blues have always had cool-colored hair so putting Laura in with them might disrupt that harmony whereas if you put her with the few Greens there are (including Parfait), she’d fit right in.

I mean, we’ll see but that makes the most sense, doesn’t it?

On another note, I just want to say that I love how they added frills to her arms instead of letting her elbows go bare naked. It definitely makes her look more like a genuine mermaid than if she didn’t have them (remember, half fish doesn’t mean half the body :P).

5) Magical Items

Frankly, I’m tired of seeing the transformation device being a compact again even though one of the main motifs is make-up this season. But at least, as far as Precure compacts goes, the Tropical one is my favorite cuz of how cute and delightfully colorful its toy version looks! So I guess I’m okay with it.

The Heart Rouge Rod, though? ...I dunno. I think it would’ve been fine without that...straw (?) jutting out at the top. It looks weird, doesn’t it look weird? :S

As for the collectible clip-ons, I can live without those for the rest of my life. Yeesh.

Laura’s items, the Aqua Pot and the Ocean Prism Mirror.

Again with the portable, travel-size housing. *sigh* 😩

Alright, I can let this year slide cuz Laura (I’m so soft for her, omg) probably won’t be getting legs for 20 weeks so she’s got to move about on land somehow. But unless they’re really thinking about turning this idea of carrying your apartment around in your bag/pocket/purse into a reality (cuz that would be effin’ awesome), please be more creative with your toys.

On the other hand, I’m much more interested in the Ocean Prism Mirror but from what Kusyami (the Precure merchandise reviews I follow on Youtube) said in his latest vid, this is the ED dance item so don’t know if it’ll actually have an relevance to the story or not. But I did hear him mention it having something to do with the Queen as well and since Laura wishes to become Queen, maybe it’ll be important after all? Maybe it’s her transformation device?

That’d be super cool. Let’s continue the trend of the midseason Cure having a different transformation item than the starters. Honestly, we should alternate every other year or two but we’ve gone three seasons with all of them using the same henshin gimmicks up till HealPre and I just want a break from that.

6) Fin sleeves??

These look so impractical for combat so maybe it’s exclusive to group attacks.

And/or a sort of precursor to the super forms?

*GASP* Does that mean they all eventually turn into mermaids? 🤩

7) Yui finally became Precure!! 😭

lol, it’s all crack from this point on so don’t take it too seriously but man, after Yuni’s deceptive braids, I thought I wasn’t gonna see anything that reminded me of Yui for a while and lo behold, Sango.

kehehehehehe xD;

Though Yui might be closer to Minori in terms of personal interests (fairytales and storybooks).

8) Akira, the actual Onee-chan version

I didn’t think this when I first saw her but once I read “Onee-san” in her profile, there’s no saving you now. Sorry, Asuka. 😅

Also, damn, do her sandals make her feet look big! Compare them to the heels she wears as Flamingo. Are they even the same?! lololol

9) ...this sounds awfully familiar...

Translation:

Tokimeku Tokonatsu! [Exciting/Thrilling Everlasting Summer!] Cure Summer! Kirameku Hoseki! [Sparkling Jewel!] Cure Coral!  Hirameku Fuurutsu! [Flashing Fruit!] Cure Papaya!

Japanese reiteration:

Mallow/Mao: Pink no tokimeki! Lillie: Blue no kirameki! Lana/Suiren: Yellow no kagayaki!

….........

@Toei 

Care to explain yourselves, punks?! 

୧(ʘ ∀ ʘ ╬)

[petriichvrs]

ONE  YEAR  OF  NOXTMS  /  five  dyanmics  with  two  bonus  !

more thoughts / information under the cut ! 

001.   𝐃𝐔𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘.   ( @ddudleys )

every single day, i think about this pair & just how unexpectedly ... brilliant they are. i hope by now my love of dudley is just very apparent, but if it ISN’T - i love his character so, so much, and i think you’re an incredibly talented person for being able to give him this whole personality and existence beyond the end of the books that fits with his canon so well and still gives him his chance to be a good person. dudley & ginny bonding following the war, attending support group together ... ginny telling him wildly incorrect things about the world for a laugh, the fact they have TOTALLY bonded even more over both being sports people, the moment where they held hands at grimmauld place, everything after ... jesus christ ! i can never ever be eloquent enough to express the way they make me feel, and the way that any new little insight into their dynamic be it by meme or by thread just makes them that bit more real to me, but i’m so grateful for this funky pair, and you better know it ! 

002.   𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘  &  𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘.  ( @dolors  )

tell me a year ago that someday i’d actually care about the malfoy family and i’d have FOUGHT you over it - at no point did i ever expect to pick up narcissa, and after i did, i never expected to get such a complex and amazingly thought out lucius to write opposite of. i still remember the moment where blo and i realised you were going to bring him, and the EXCITEMENT we felt at the fact that this individual i already knew semi okay who was writing such an excellent interpretation on hermione was going to bring us a character who can be so polarising, in a lot of ways. the hope ? the willingness to die for you immediately, simply because you were going to DO it ? cherry i cannot believe there was ever a time where we were not friends in the way we are now, and i REALLY can’t remember an instance where i didn’t have malfam + lucissa to get me through my day. they’re my emotional support morally grey family who think of themselves first & foremost and everyone else after, okay ? lucius is a lot of things, and you do such a good job at writing ( and acknowleding ) them, but inside the walls of malfoy manor he’s narcissa’s honey bunch with an unhealthy emotional attachment for his peacocks & brilliant taste in erotica novels for their next book club session. 

003.   𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐙𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐈  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘.  ( @ofzvbini )​

mozzie, let’s not cut straws on this one : holy fuck. holy JESUS. holy moley. all the holys. here is the thing - my love for blaise zabini as a character / concept and my appreciation for the blaise/ginny dynamic that could exist had NEVER gotten to be mutually exclusive until you came along. never ! it wasn’t something to feel hard done by, or anything, but... i kinda do, now, but for a different reason, which is that you’ve set the bar for characters SO HIGH in general and i’m never ever going to be able to find another interpretation of blaise that even remotely lives up to yours, nor do i think that anyone will ever be on the such a similar wavelength to me, when it comes this connection. the energy all around is just utterly UNMATCHED, and the fact that... even just rereading our replies from the last event to get this excerpt, i realised i wanted so badly to reply again right now immediately, because the sparring of their words and lets be honest, the PALPABLE sexual tension going on in that thread was so genuinely fun and entertaining. i just think you knock it out of the park so consistently with your characters and the connections you write with them. i could have said any of our dynamics - luna + ginny, luna + nazli, luna + narcissa, eulalia + niko, blaise + merry, blaise + narcissa, blaise + niko - YOU GET THE PIC ! i love u moz. please marry me under the moonlight i think it would be very romantic-

004.   𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑  &  𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅.  ( @pclearwaters )

i want in on record that penny clearwater is the love of my life, actually. i want it on fuckin RECORD, because the love i have for this character who gets paid nothing but DIRT in the series all because you took her up & gave her this whole life and character and storyline that made her into... like, a real person ? who makes me feel sometimes ... just very sad, but who also brings me such joy. penny & niko are another example of that fun little thing we do where we throw these totally different characters together and then see what happens ( usually the most perfect of unexpected friendships ). i loved the last thread we did between them most, because it was one of the first chances i had ever gotten to showcase that a side of niko not really seen so often, and his confusion at penny’s genuine beautific happiness was just ... really fun to write and get into. i truly think you do such a good job with penny, and i love the dedication you have to the clearwaters, full stop. here’s to many more of their weird lil interactions ! 

005.   𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘. ( @blondsnake )

six months ago, they were one of the dynamics i chose to talk about in the original meme. when i did it that time, the excerpt i chose was : “i’m sorry,” he tells her, voice cracking, and he doesn’t know what he’s sorry for anymore. for the sins of his father? for ginny’s ruined childhood? for the fact that he is draco malfoy, and not someone else? & the REASON i chose them was at the time we wrote that thread, it felt very... real and raw and human, to me. it felt like we were exposing a nerve. the malfoy / weasley dynamic is expanded on so much when it comes to every other weasley, and ginny’s interaction with the family she has so much of a history with, with the son of the person who really took a key role in what she went through as an eleven year old, was just... so non-existent that getting to touch on it in the way we did felt...  incredbly important, and i remember the thread best for setting the continued tone. 

i’m choosing them now because i never, at any point, thought that we would end up where we are right now. i spend a lot of time, now, thinking about them - i can’t believe i never realised just how similar they were as people, and just how much possibility existed between them, because so much does, and every time we talk more about them, i come away with the feeling that this is a connection that’s like once in a lifetime esque, and i’m SO lucky that i’m writing it with you. you know ? you’re an incredibly talented writer who has four incredibly well thought out characters, and i love that i get to write with them all, because ALL of them are a treat to write with. i always wanna hear your thoughts, i always wanna hear your ideas and concepts, i always love the posts you send me and the things we joke about - almost as much as i love the things we don’t. that first night we realised what we had here came from utter meme and became something very very important to me. i’m always thinking about ‘he gives her a long look’. if you know you know, you know ? !  

006.   𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐇𝐎𝐕  &  𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅. ( @rcveuse )

saz, i know we’ve only gotten the one thread started so far, and they’re newer... but can i just say, i’m really really glad that you decided to come back to nox, and i’m even more glad that when you did you picked up those specific connections of mine, because they were some of my FAVORITE ones on the page & had never really gotten their dues ? the niko one in particular, that amelia is filling - i remember writing it because i wanted him to have moments of his life that were happy, and the best way i could think to showcase his emotional side was via someone he loved for real. i always said niko loved fiercely and was just as fiercely loyal, but i hadn’t gotten the chance to write it, because he’s a character so difficult to put into positions where he would. he takes a long time to fully bond to people. even after he does... he’s just. odd. it was a v important connection to me, and i love amelia so much, already, and can see exactly what existed in her that he fell for when he did. i’m so excited to write them more, and i can’t wait to see where the dynamic that exists now goes ! 

006.   𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐀 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅  &  𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄. ( @taciiturns )

i love kaela. i know we know this. i know i’ve said it so many times, and i know i’m going to say it again, a million times more - but i really do love mikaela karkaroff, and i already had the niko connection, so i really shouldn’t have been greedy, but.... i didn’t imagine what’s come to exist between kaela & merry at ALL. it’s a very interesting dynamic built from very simple beginnings, and it’s become one of my most enduring merry connections - i think it made her more of a person, and i totally have you to thank for it. they’re such different people from such similar worlds, with such an interest in one another that i have such a difficult time explaining - IT WORKS, it so works, but it works in a way where i kinda have to admit i never even expected it, and i feel like i’m learning more and more about it with merry. that’s a very fun sort of connection to write when it’s with someone who loves their character as much as you do kaela, and i’m endlessly interested in where it’ll go ! 

[skgway]

1823 Aug., Sat. 30

6 5/60

12

1/2 hour in the stable wrote a few lines on 1/2 sheet of paper (which William took to the Post Office before breakfast) to “Mrs. Cook, Straw-hat maker, Coney street York” to desire her to have black chip in readiness to make me a hat in a day if possible – I should be in York on Wednesday or Thursday – Wrote a couple of little notes for William to take to Butter’s, and Whiteley the hatter’s and wrote the last 7 lines of the last page and the first 19 of this –

Went down to breakfast at 9 40/60 – At 10 3/4 drove my aunt to Whitwell place – Caradoc in the gig – George rode Hotspur the 1st time except perhaps once or twice when taking him to be shod, since I returned from York 22nd May last –

Mrs. Veitch came to the door – we did not get out of the gig, but staid just 5 minutes and got home at 12 55/60 – Hotspur a good deal heated – Ditto Caradoc after he got into the stable – He was rather “starved”, George said, this morning – and rather off his meat, at least his hay – Ate very little of his corn after coming in, and no hay – Ordered him a mash – All the hay to be taken out of his rack, to have non tonight – Nothing but bran mashes, and in case it should be wanted desired Suter to make a ball (to be sent this evening to Northgate) of 5 drams Barbados aloes, 4 drops sauntered with my aunt to Godley –

A long while in the stable and did not come in (upstairs) till 2 1/4 – From then till 4 1/2, looking out my clothes, what wanted mending etc. etc. for my journey to Scarbro’ & York – At 4 50/60 went into the stable for 5 minutes then walked (down the new bank) to H–x [Halifax], was to meet Miss P– [Pickford] at Whitley’s at 4 3/4 by the old church –

10 minutes too late, and met her in Northgate – She turned back with me to go to several shops – We then walked leisurely and got here at 6 1/4 – She had walked to King X [cross] to meet me yesterday but must have been 1/2 hour too late – 

Asked what Mr. Simmons said etc. etc. – Wished much to see his prescription. Had thought much about me. I would not shew it her or tell what he had said. She asked me with more apparent anxiety or curiosity than usual. She would understand the whole thing I laughed and said –

3/4 hour at dinner and upstairs getting M– [Mariana]’s I[sabella] N[orcliffe]’s and my own pictures which I shewed her – She thought M– [Mariana] (tho’ a vilely done sketch) very like a cousin of hers, Mrs. William Lumley – I[sabella] N[orcliffe]’s miniature by Millet beautifully done – Mrs. Taylor’s sketch of me, like a person afraid of speaking – Too foolish looking could not bear it – Not at all characteristic.

Shewed her Stephs prescription of two years ago cubebs etc. Passing off for Mr. Simmons’s. She said it was an odd one. In walking home with her laughed and talked nineteen to the dozen. Would make her tell what she thought and screwed it out by piece meal. 

She said could that be Mr. Simmons’s? It would do no good. At last I made her own mercury was the only thing. My whole manner convinced her I was in the venereal. Said Mr. S[immons] wanted me to go to Manchester for a fortnight or three weeks. Could not yet tell whether after getting better I might have any relapse or not. Owned that was his prescription I had consulted four or five (alluding to Mac, Steph, Doctors B and Simmons). 

I said I had had four letters on my return, one I could not understand, meaning Miss V[allance]’s. I was vapourish about it and not well today (I had indeed a little bowel complaint just after dinner). She said she knew something was the matter, whatever it was I looked ill. 

She seems at home about the venereal disease. I tried to find out if she had had a touch of it, she said nothing to contradict or yet exactly to own it. I was rat[t]ling on, asked if she knew what Lady Sick was. Said I could tell her something for which she would box my ears. She wanted me sadly to say it. I declined for the present (I meant I might sometime pretend I had gulled her all I had said was a joke). 

‘Is this,’ said she, ‘your philos[o]phy? Does your conscience ever smite you?’ perhaps alluding to my having before so strongly denied the thing. ‘No,’ said I, ‘it does not. But I mean to amend at five and thirty and retire with credit. I shall have a good fling before then, four years, and in the meantime shall make my avenae communes, my wild oats common. I shall dimiciliate them.’

She laughed. Did not mention her name, but hinted Miss V[allance]’s sneaking kindness for me. I had met her on a visit, she had been much attached. I thought and persuaded she could never love again. She disagreed with me, said I was right in general but there were exceptions to all rules and she was one. She was ill one night had spasms. Was bad to hold, in all sorts of contortions. I sat up with her and should never forget spasms.

Pic laughed. Said one of my friends said if I had not my talent I should be abominable. Pic thought I should not find fault with others. She had before told me of her putting on regimentals and flirting with the lady under the assumed name of name of Captain Cowper. It did not seem that the lady ever found it out, but thought the captain the most agreeable of men. 

Just before we parted, ‘Now,’ said I, ‘do you like the philosophy or the vivication? Do you think me less agreeable?’ ‘No,’ was the answer. ‘Do you think me more so?’ ‘Yes, I do.’ She will breakfast here on Monday, for I talk of going by that night's mail –

Miss P– [Pickford] staid till 7 50/60, I walked to Savile green with her returned up the old bank in 20 minutes and got home at 8 50/60 – Very much heated – The evening very hot and close – Got curled immediately then sat down and wrote etc. 

During supper wrote the whole of this journal so far of today, and went downstairs at 10 10/60, & came up again to bed at 11 8/60, at which hour Barometer 1 1/2 degree above changeable Fahrenheit 60º – Fine day – Rather likely for rain in the morning but it kept off – E [three dots, treating venereal complaint] O [one dot, signifying little discharge] –

[fineosaur]

50 questions

I was tagged by @jeynepoole, thank u <33

what is the colour of your hairbrush? i have 2, a black one which is kinda big and then a small travel-ish one that’s mint green. both gifted to me because i used to not own one and my mum and sister would find it ridiculous.

name a food you never eat? agh i kinda eat everything now... but i try to stay away from shellfish and nuts cause i break out when i eat either

are you typically too warm or too cold? in mauritius ?? in this age of global warming?? always too warm babes

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was having my first cup of tea for the day

what's your favourite candy bar? flake cadbury chocolate

have you ever been to a professional sports game? ya but i was like 2 when we visited anfield.

what is the last thing you said out loud? “for fuck’s sake” because my sister ate my breakfast.

what is your favourite ice cream? hmm maybe hazelnut but i love a bubblegum.

what was the last thing you had to drink? water, hydrate, bitch.

do you like your wallet? yeaaa, i got it this year, it’s rly pretty and has a snakeskin pattern that matches my phone case so well. even if im not one for matching stuff

what is the last thing you ate? i havent eaten anything today yet, but i had some chips last night.

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i didn’t i didnt spend any money last weekend thankfully. 

what's the last sporting event you watched? hmm probably i caught a glimpse of a football match when walking by a tv but thats it. i dont watch sport anymore.

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? salted! always. im a salty bitch to the end of my days.

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend, who keeps trying to get me to take a pic of my supervisor BUT IM SICK FROM WORK TODAY.

ever go camping? no, im too high maintenance for that shit.

do you take vitamins? well ive just started on a magnesium supplement for my fatigue. 

do you regularly attend a place of worship? no lol, even if muslim women pray at home, i do not. 

do you have a tan? no :(( i really want one. summer is on its way here so i expect one soon enough 

do you prefer chinese or pizza? ugh chinese ofc. i only appreciate proper italian pizza, which you rarely find here. man now im just thinking of peking duck.

do you drink your soda through a straw? no i dont drink soda

what colour socks do you usually wear? i have light green, light blue, black and grey ones. that i interchange, these are all the no show ones. then i have regular white ankle socks for my trainers.

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i do not drive

what terrifies you? wow nothing came to mind. nice to know 

look to your left, what do you see? my rug, littered w my messes 

what chore do you hate most? washing dishes! but moping comes a close second because i go to hard and make my arms hurt. 

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? @thelandofnothing LOL

what's your favourite soda? i dont drink soda!!! 

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru always bitch

what's your favourite number? 4, i decided on it when i was 4 and it stuck. but 15 comes a close second

Who’s the last person you talked to? like aloud? uh my sister when she barged into my room at 7 am.

favourite cut of beef? i dont have one, i just eat meat but i pay no attention to the cooking of it. i will not look at it raw. 

last song you listened to? matilda - alt j. my friend has been telling me to listen to it, apparently it makes him think of me. and i have no idea why.

last book you read? hmm yesterday i began reading my sister’s new book but then my migraine told me to stop.

favourite day of the week? thursdays. they just hit different

can you say the alphabet backwards? most likely not. i need words written down to even spell them out. i work visually, bitch. 

how do you like your coffee? i dont like coffee. if i ever do its w copious amounts of sugar.

favourite pair of shoes? a pair of black oxfords i bought back in 2018. theyre so comfy and they reflect my style a lot 

time you normally get up? 5:50am on weekdays, weekends are a gamble rly. 

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrises usually, but mauritian sunsets hit right too. 

how many blankets on your bed? i have my quilt and then a purple throw blanket.

describe your kitchen plates? white, nothing to them, theyre just white. 

describe your kitchen at the moment? eerie

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? i’d say beer. it’s my go to, but i’ve been slowly trying out cocktails to find my favourite, i quite like gin as well as red wine. 

do you play cards? with friends ya, it’s usually when drinks are involved though. 

what colour is your car? my mum’s car is grey lol.

can you change a tire? i know the mechanics of it but have never been allowed

your favourite state? i dont ?? have one. i dont even know any states. is new york a state? if so, cause of @yanak324, i will say ny

favourite job you've had? well i’ve worked freelance stuff and now my current job, so i dont have much experience to say i have a favourite. but i really like my current job so i’ll say that. 

im gonna tag: ooft im tired but lets do this, @yanak324, @evax3, @sneetchstar, @northernfieldsforever, @salty-wench, @littlerockerao3, @nalgenewhore, @treaddelicately, @livhatesolives, @aryasbadbenergy, @watersandwolves