#the kill me instead....I feel insane.

[fernhelm]

PT 2: FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE🦌

*this part has to do with harry hearing lily’s voice. until i looked through the books for this, i totally forgot that he was in the torture nexus of hearing his mother beg for his life. in the third book, her death screams haunt harry as his worst memory every time the dementors come near. it's torturous, but he also wonders if its better than never hearing her at all. the only things lily says in the series that aren't memory are "hold on your father's coming" and "you've been so brave." she never says i love you. she's the sacrifice. she was on the altar. she has no mouth but she must scream.

PT 1: LILY IN HER OWN WORDS🪷

*despite being at the center of the narrative- the mother who saves harry with the “power of love,” we know very little about lily evans. many characters tell harry what his parents are like- brave, or kind, or good at potions- but harry, and the reader by extension, rarely gets to see for himself. finally, in the later books, we get some flashbacks which show what lily was really like without the halo of death. her voice, her words, her tone all serve her characterization (if you’re interested in pulling from the book, and it’s okay if you’re not.) in this part i’ve gathered almost every instance where lily speaks herself from childhood up to october 31st. most are from snape’s pov, one from voldemort’s, and the letter stands by itself. the next part will be every instance of speech post-death. just a little something of interest for the lily evans enjoyers (◡‿◡✿)

[vaguely-concerned]

the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)

[heartorbit]

so when's the wxs phantom of the opera set

[dollopole]

I should find another hobby

Anyway, if Merlin was set in modern times, Arthur would have called Merlin his “gay awakening”.

[wwillywonka]

It now seems I had yet to uncover the right catalyst.

ARCANE - 2.05: Blisters and Bedrock

[arolesbianism]

I wish So Bad that I could confidently recommend lob corp and library of ruina to people because they're both genuinely rly good games and I also need ppl I know to understand the insanity that is project moon but like godddd they are a fucking Investment. Both in time and in brainpower. I generally think ppl exaggerate how hard lob corp is but it's certainly not easy and when it does get hard it gets HARD. Also it literally requires at least one day 1 reset (basically a new game+) to fully beat the game and at this point I've done at least 10. And for lor I'm not nearly as far in and I'm just scratching the surface of the real game but it's a beast of its own. Also 100+ hours and also hard as hell. Like this game does not fuck around with its difficulty spikes it will make you use your brain and it will give you a damn headache in the process. It's also one of my favorite card combat games I've ever played with mechanics that just so beautifully complement each other to create a dynamic and interesting battle system that gives it a completely different vibe and feeling than any other deck builder games I've played to the point where it almost feels wrong to me to categorize them together. But also I am not even slightly joking abt the headache thing every time I play this damn game I close it with a horrible headache and have to take a multi day break. I think everyone should experience this with me <3

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Asshole Things Ambrose Has Said/Done #8: Describe Cyrus' relationship with Malistaire as "odd" then sends a child, essentially a stranger to Cyrus, with no business with being involved in their family issues, to extract information out of Cyrus on how to kill his brother (a grieving man)

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[running-in-the-dark]

can't sleep (despite new meds + melatonin, boo), so I'm thinking about random shit. like: it's insane to me that I'm totally fine living on the ground floor now. it used to really freak me out. I hated being downstairs when we lived in a house. I always felt watched when I had my room on the ground floor. and every time I visited my dad at his ground floor apartment - where I was on my own except for maybe an hour a day - I had what I now know were panic attacks several times a day. so like, that's pretty crazy.

[gothteddiesdotcom]

I think that part of what like. kills me about the whole media literacy and critical thinking aspect of enjoying media these days is that people refuse to like. contextualize that

A. Bad media can still hold significant meaning to people

B. Media made for a demographic you aren’t apart of is not inherently bad media

C. Media made for and consumed by the opposite demographic is not inherently shallow or flawed nor is it above criticism for its media tropes either.

[wayfayrr]

I hope life eases up soon man, take care of yourself

Thanks mate <3

stuff's starting to gradually get better now, actually let myself feel feelings after bottling them till it popped

just kinda turns out that throwing yourself into something so you're numb to the other things can really burn you out :') So I'm trying to find motivation to write and answer asks again, I'm hoping it'll be soon but idk atp

[sabrirene]

i fear the 'surely someone's gonna save me' in sunshine baby has an incredible chokehold on me

[leori-the-unlearned]

the way digimon does conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: chef’s kiss <3

the way sonic idw handles creating conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: *wilting flower*

[the-casbah-way]

i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry

[massiveladycat]

you dont understand i have never loved a book character more

↓

[redgoldblue]

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