#the jokes hit so different now
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In today's reddit stories:
Shayne *joking* "I LOVE TO RUB ON MY WIFE!"
Courtney: *nervous squeals*
Me: "Haha! Ha....OH-"
#smosh#courtney miller#shayne topp#shourtney#shartney#my lil sharts 💚💙#I-#the jokes hit so different now#heehee#🫣🫣🤭
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In this post, I will attempt to calmly, reasonably, and in-a-good-faith-manner argue all the points raised by tumblr user @library-bat-girl in the following posts. I am starting a new thread so as not to further destroy the original poster, @skitterenjoyer's, tumblr notifications. Worm (+MHA) spoilers ahead. This will be a long post.
Firstly, I would like to apologize on the worm fandom's behalf. We will not engage in ableism of any kind. I sincerely hope that this was a singular incident and @skittersdrippygirlcock will be better about this in the future.
"MHA has better characters,"
My Hero Academia's primary achievement, I think, is managing to make many decently well rounded characters in a fairly short time-span. It certainly has very good visual character design, with easily memorable character designs, like Mina Ashido or Tsuyu Asui. Most of Class 1A is shown to be more than single-note gimmick characters. For a story with such a tight schedule, and only so much page real-estate, that's impressive! For instance, a character decidedly outside of the main cast, Fumikage Tokoyami, is shown to have more to his personality than "is an edgelord," showing a humility and friendliness that is highly against-type. This is very different than a lot of its peers, especially in Shonen manga, where side characters (and sometimes even main characters) are never more than their tropes (see Fairy Tale, One Punch Man*, The Seven Deadly Sins, or Black Clover). My Hero Academia does clear that bar, by making side characters little more than their tropes. This is to say nothing of the primary cast, who, again, is largely defined by tropes and easily slotted into standardized interchangeable Shonen roles. Rival, Love Interest, Rival but Nice About It. Additionally, MHA has an uncomfortably sexualized main cast, for one composed primarily of minors.
This is compared to Worm, in which many characters are fully realized and could have been the protagonist (and often were in older drafts of the story, due to Worm's 10-year development hell). Every character that gets an interlude, and most that don't, all have fully realized interiority, traumas, and wants. In fact, this is one of the major themes of Worm. Every character, from the protagonist Taylor, to characters so minor they're seen only once (see Damsel of Distress, Dauntless), to major antagonists and monsters (see Jack Slash, Bonesaw) all have their own story, even if this is never shown on-screen. There are no "side characters" in the same manner as in My Hero Academia, because every character is a protagonist of their own story, and not in a trite "life is so beautiful" way.
Taylor isn't the center of the universe, there's an entire world outside of her 3-block bubble. The mechanism by which all characters get their superpowers means that the mere fact of having powers implies this about them. Even the seeming exceptions, aren't (see Alexandria, Garotte). Taylor is a good character. I don't even know how to elaborate on that. She just is. Worm does not have the character Minoru Mineta.
"a better plot,"
What... what is the plot of My Hero Academia? For the life of me, I can't seem to recall. I can tell you the general formula of most of the arcs for the first ~2/3rds of the story. Class 1A goes to do a hero high school thing, like do rescue training, or on-the-job training, or on-the-job-training, or on-the-job-training (they do it like 4 times for some reason), the League Of Villains shows up (even when it's seemingly not the league of villains it actually is the league of villains) they fight about it, the class beats all the villains, and Deku beats up strongest bad guy and also breaks his bones. Repeat step 1. But like. What's... the plot? The League of Villains is evil and wants to kill people and do bad stuff. They explicitly do not have greater motivations. There's generally themes of passing-on-to-the-new-generation, so there's Tomura Shigaraki as the arch nemesis to Izuku Midoriya, just as All Might's Nemesis is All For One. Eventually they fight a big fight about it and I stop reading because I find out about Worm. From what I understand (I have not read the conclusion) the series ends without addressing any long-running questions, wrapping up any character arcs, or concluding anything in a narratively satisfying manner. As if severely rushed.
Worm, there are maybe 15 main stories going on simultaneously, which are all tied into the final confrontation with Scion. The most obvious is Taylor's and the Undersiders' story, about taking over Brockton Bay and defeating Coil, which is a smaller part of Coil's story about taking over the bay, until their confrontation with him in arc 17, when it supersedes Coil's story, and then intersects with Cauldron's story, the Traveler's story, the Case 53s' stories, the Wards' story, all of it, in arcs 18-19. This is one example. A great deal of attention is spent making sure the reader knows that Taylor, the Undersiders, Coil, all of them, are bit players in a very large game. Despite this, it's never hard to follow, because Wildbow, while lacking some of the more flowery prose, manages extremely well at making his stories easy to understand.
"I feel like even people who like Worm can agree that Worm is not the most consistent piece of fiction ever written. The disjointed way it was written meant that emphasis was primarily put on 'What Wildbow thought was cool in the moment', [sic] and the story RADICALLY shifts gears every time a new arc starts."
What? Huh? Worm is extremely consistent. Like. 1.1 to E.x. It's, like. Not disjointed? Oh my god, are you talking about interludes? Is that what you mean? The interludes shift gears? Because that makes sense. It's one of the hardest things about worm, yeah. It's gripping! The interludes are a great idea to expand the world of worm, but the problem is that taylor's story is so intriguing that stepping away from it to focus on something else is hard, no matter how individually interesting. I want to read about taylor's escalation spiral, not the travelers! (As opposed to My Hero Academia having random escalation and de-escalation between arcs with no real explanation. We're reading about lives-on-the-line battles with child-slavers and then move to playing on a playground with little kids? Best I can think of is that this whiplash is intentional, but this is never communicated to the reader. Worm does not do this. Any de-escalation is met with the explicit understanding that this is merely a period of calm before things get even worse). Taylor's story wraps up in an extremely narratively satisfying fashion, following her story to its logical conclusion. There were so many ways it could have been avoided, but there was really only one way that it could have ended.
"better worldbuilding,"
This actually offends me. MHA could have had great world-building. It doesn't. Every potentially interesting bit of world-building is backpedaled out of or stopped before it could get anywhere. Or it's just never elaborated or expanded upon. Everyone having a superpower could have been cool, but the implications of this are nonexistent. The reasons for this having no real implications, that being the banning of quirks, also has implications that are also immediately backpedaled out of. It's been hundreds of years since our time, yet life is exactly the same. Nothing ever happens. Endeavor is a cool concept. I like Endeavor. his existence implies such interesting things about the world, how important hero ranking is to these people's lives, that he would create this horrific system of domestic abuse to try and get to the #1 spot. What does this say about this system of heroes that operates like a popularity contest? It could have said a lot. It says nothing. What does the League of Villains, a league of people who call themselves out-and-out villains, who base their ideology in opposing this system of heroes, say about society? Nothing. On purpose. Worm does something with this. One Punch Man does something with this. My Hero Academia puts it in the story, and lets it sit, unused, for a decade.
Worm has... unique world-building. Because it's both good and bad at the same time. Worm's #1 feature is its world. It's brilliant, full stop. Triggers, The Birdcage, the PRT, Exclusion Zones! Why does the status quo exist? what does it say about that society? What does it say about our society? Why hasn't society radically changed from how it is in our world? This is explained. This plays into the themes. The story wants to say something about this world, and so it does. There are characters whose stories explicitly delve into these themes that are set up in the worldbuilding, like Armsmaster, or Battery, or Bonesaw, or Coil, or Piggot or Alexandria or Taylor herself or Brian or Lisa or ANY OF THEM THEY ALL DO THIS. Sorry.
Anyway, the bad part is that the actual world is not well built (and is kind of racist). What's going on in Europe? There's a 3 blasphemies! a 3 what? never explained. What's going on in Asia, aside from Japan? China is a monarchy for some reason. Why? It's never elaborated on. India gets a little bit of elaboration, we're told its different but not how it's different. Wildbow uses machine translation wrong and names some guy caliph of dogs. This is like worm's #2 problem honestly (#1 is Amy). Wildbow tries to make the implication of a well thought out globe without actually making a well thought out globe.
"stronger themes,"
It really doesn't. As I said in the worldbuilding section, MHA makes a point out of not saying or doing anything. I don't know if editors made Horikoshi walk back the more ambitious story beats or what, but there are multiple points in the story where the author pretty much looks you directly in the eye and goes "This Story Isn't Saying Anything At All Even Though It Looked Like It Would. Lmao."
Worm has lots of themes. I think Armsmaster/Defiant's story is my favorite. His entire character arc (which is fully realized despite him being a background character for nearly the entire story) has a point to it. It says something. It's misanthropic and uplifting simultaneously, and manages to feel like it earns both. It's a shared theme with Bonesaw/Riley's story, explored in two different ways.
"Meanwhile MHA establishes an actual overall theme/message right from the start that expands and develops throughout the story. The worldbuilding is informed by the message, which informs the characters arcs and the people they become by the end of the story."
I notice that you never actually say what that message is. What is it? Like, for real. I'm not being confrontational or anything, like what is the message? Cuz' I can't think of one. My Hero Academia, at its very core, is a defense of the status quo. Much like its world-building, but much less forgivable, because it does do something new and unique with its world-building. MHA could have done some extremely interesting stuff with its early implicit critique of heroic society as shown with characters like Bakugo, or Shigaraki, or Endeavor, or Overhaul, or Midoriya himself! It just doesn't! It doesn't do stuff that Worm does do!
Worm does have a message. It has a lot of messages, actually, some that the author disagrees with somehow. Prison abolition, for one. We know Wildbow loves prison. Anyway, the big one is in the subtitle: doing the wrong things for the right reasons. Taylor's constant spiral of escalation, her dwindling attachments to her friends and greater focus on treating herself like a soldier is prevalent, and it is to be avoided. Taylor isn't a sin-eater. They don't exist. From what I remember, this is sort of explored in Deku's character arc for a short period of time, but much like everything else in MHA, it is backpedaled out of.
The funniest is "don't text and drive" though.
"Just on a basic level the way that the audience is meant to feel about Taylor oscillates wildly between being directed to think of her as a misunderstood victim of circumstance, or history's greatest monster."
That's kind of the point. Like. the audience isn't meant to look at Taylor the same way throughout the entire story. It's meant to change as she changes. Taylor's opinion of Taylor changes. The mistake here is saying it "oscillates wildly." it doesn't. It's a slow and steady change for the worse, as Taylor gets more violent and starts throwing away greater and greater parts of herself to become more like a robot and less like a person.
"But a bigger issue in general is tone. It's very focused on being dark and gritty and edgy, and it makes the mistake a lot of consciously edgy media does. IE: it thinks that all it has to do to be smart is be bleak and/or graphic. It doesn't really try to say anything, in fact it contradicts itself throughout the book as I mentioned before, it just throws in extremely graphic scenes and content periodically to remind the audience how fucked everything is."
Did you read the boys and think it was worm? What? It's not being smart when it's bleak or graphic? I actually personally like the endbringers or the slaughterhouse 9, and not because I like watching people suffer. These things exist for a reason. It's not being dark for the sake of being dark. The heroes could stop the slaughterhouse 9. We see that, when they almost stop the slaughterhouse 9 (it's explicitly shown that they are stopped from destroying the slaughterhouse 9). The question then becomes why don't they? It's a grim, brutal calculus, and one that wasn't worth it. That's the point. The Endbringers are different. It's not until arc 27 that they're really explained. You could either read them as a criticism of Eidolon or of ableism, honestly. I mean, it wasn't intentional, he didn't create them on purpose, he needed something to fight, because without that he's nothing. His powers are all he has.
"Worm spends so much time trying to be edgy that as with a lot of edgy media the edginess loses all impact quite quickly and becomes sort of cringe."
I don't really think so, but like. Okay. I don't think this is a reconcilable viewpoint (none of this is really but this especially), so like we're probably gonna have to agree to disagree. The only thing I can really think of as edgy for the sake of edginess is Amy's arc. But even that's not really true. It's meant to be an utterly avoidable tragedy that could never have been stopped because of the people involved. Much like Taylor, actually. Amy could have stepped back from the brink, but she didn't, because Amy could never have done that, and nobody else was willing/able to help. It's supposed to be a thing where you sit back and think of all the tiny ways this could have easily been avoided, but wasn't.
"When body horror happens it still has impact because it's not happening constantly."
I mean, I guess. But like. I never got desensitized to the body horror in Worm. It hit pretty consistently for me throughout. As opposed to MHA, where it was usually walked back by the end of every arc. I never felt much tension or suspense because it felt as if there weren't actual consequences. In Worm, when Brian was strung up on his nerves, it felt disgusting because I was fully aware Worm would explore the ripple effects of this. It felt entirely possible he would die there, or never recover, because Worm didn't pull its punches. MHA did. This is a matter of opinion. We'll just have to agree to disagree about it.
"But most importantly - you root for the heroes because the world actually seems like it's worth saving."
that's just, um. sorry. I'm really trying here. That's just. Uh. Dumb. Do you root for Batman cause Gotham is a nice city? Everything's worth saving, that's, like, at its most basic what the concept of a superhero is about.
"Not only that but MHA simply does villain protagonists objectively better than Worm."
um. No? There straight up aren't villain protagonists in MHA. The villains are the POV characters for, like, one arc? You know what, here's a good spot for it. It's stated throughout the story that Shigaraki and the League of Villains have a goal, beyond just death and destruction. They're here to stop the corrupt society of heroes (that MHA hints at the existence of before backpedaling away from), and bring about a fairer society. But then, and this part pissed me off, one of the characters, I think Bakugo, says: "you're just using that as cover! you just want to kill people, you have no noble goal!" and shigaraki's like "dang you caught me." and then it happens again with Deku! Because My Hero Academia is allergic to saying something. Nope! They're villains! No moral depth here! They're Villains, We're Heroes, Go Put Them In Jail.
This is opposed to Worm, where- "The characters of the villains and their origins are used to highlight the flaws in the Superhuman society"
"Most of the villains are only villains because society failed them in some way, and the specific ways in which that happened become big plot points that then play into the future arc of our heroic characters."
I had to walk away from my computer for this one. It's hard to be civil. It's really hard. Polite and reasonable.
So Worm is about this. To even say this without a shred of irony makes me thing you've never once read a single word of Worm and are doing this purely as bait. Or you've read all of Worm and are doing this purely as bait.
"They're actually extremely complex in a way that ends up being fundamentally important to the overall story - where in Worm the villains are either based heroes fighting a corrupt system or they're histories [sic] greatest monsters... until they're presented as heroes again."
I think I get it now. I really think I do. You're not supposed to agree with all the characters. Like. Worm is inconsistent, in that it follows the perspectives of inconsistent people. Of course Triumph and Armsmaster don't agree on what is right! They're different people, they have different perspectives!
"See. Worm fans keep saying "This is Bait." It's not Bait, you all are simply ridiculous and obsessed with this series to such a degree that you feel compelled to say "This is Bait" instead of just... ignoring it, because you have no actual counterargument."
Perhaps worm fans are inclined to believe you posted rage bait because you brazenly walked into another fandom's post and wholeheartedly proclaimed that the thing they liked was Stupid Idiot Bullshit For Fucking Morons, and refused to elaborate until prompted, at which point you said several things that are demonstrably false about Worm.
"Your only response to anything I've said is pedantry, bigotry, and deflection. If it was obviously just bait why are you engaging?"
Well, I'm engaging because I've been in a foul mood since I woke up this morning. Also because you, again, said some very rude and patently false statements about a story that I really enjoy and find narratively rich, even in its faults.
"MHA's characters do fall into archetypal shounen character roles - but they are all given a solid amount of focus explaining why they are like that and developing them into something bigger."
Again, as I said, it's a genuinely impressive feat to have an ensemble cast like what My Hero Academia has, and give so many of the characters a degree of depth, with such little manga to work with. I think worm does it better, but worm doesn't have to be economical about it. MHA does. The problem I have with this statement is that it becomes a question of scale. How much bigger? They're no longer defined by their tropes, instead defined by their opposition to their tropes. It's still a one-note character, you've merely changed the note from C to C sharp.
"so almost every member of the cast has an arc that either develops them past the person they initially seemed to be or explains why they're like that."
This is probably my favorite part about MHA. They do have arcs! I love ensemble casts! it does a much better job in this than all of its contemporaries, even One Piece. However, they are comparatively simplistic arcs that all follow a similar formula.
"I've heard people say MHA is neocon or pro-establishment but the story literally concludes by showing that society HAS TO FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE or the same problems that created the villains in the first place will keep happening. The entire time skip specifically focuses on the fact that for eight years the main characters have been forcing change in the world and addressing the issues the villains brought up."
Now, I'm going to be clear. I stopped reading My Hero Academia around chapter 275. I don't know the exact number, but it was the latest chapter in ~mid 2020. I would occasionally attempt to reread, in an attempt to catch up, but give up around chapter 200 out of boredom. I don't know exactly how the story ends, but I have read ~2/3rds of the story. I feel this gives me a pretty good understanding of the general tone of the story, unless it wildly changes tone at the 3/4ths mark, which you have explicitly said it does not, as it is extremely coherent and consistent. Therefore, I believe I can state with some degree of confidence that MHA does not do that.
I would certainly believe that it tries (and fails) to SFP it, but SFP does not promote a fundamental societal change. That's the problem. Strong Female Protagonist was willing to come up and say that Alison lived in a fundamentally unjust world, even if it was never willing or able to offer real change. And hey. You do what you can. I sincerely doubt My Hero Academia is even willing to call its world fundamentally unjust, from the 200+ chapters that I did read.
"In the case of the actual main characters, they have extremely comprehensive character arcs."
Adding this behind the last point just so that I don't have to reiterate I haven't finished the book. I am, however, very much not inclined to believe the actual main characters had extremely comprehensive character arcs.
Which plays back into the initial theory that ANYONE CAN BE A HERO.
man, spider-man did that better (not a real argument, but like, spider-man totally did that better). Not least because midoriya specifically could not become a hero were it not for all might giving him a power.
No, the Villains don't get happy endings,
Why not? Why do they go to jail, even the ones who changed and wanted to redeem themselves? Endeavor never goes to jail. He did some horrible stuff. He's redeemed himself in the eyes of the story, right? Anyone can be a hero, right? So why not them? Why haven't they redeemed themselves in the eyes of the story?
You may wish to turn this back on me and ask why doesn't Armsmaster go to prison? Because he's similar in some respects. But worm never calls prison justice. (for some reason, even though wildbow totally loves prison). Prison is punitive, a tool for those in charge to control those it manages to capture. Maybe some deserve life in the birdcage. Many don't. It doesn't matter. Because the birdcage isn't a tool of justice. It's not meant to be. it's a box to put the uncontrollable capes in, until they can be used as meat shields. So Armsmaster doesn't go to prison because the story says explicitly there is no point to it. But MHA? MHA says there is a point to it. Endeavor needs to go to prison if he wants to atone. He's escaping justice every second he's outside.
I have actually read Worm, and for the first half to two thirds I loved it.
Weird. That's exactly how long I really enjoyed MHA. Not, like relevant, to anything. Just odd. I mean, I don't actually dislike MHA. I think it's fine, actually. It feels like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade to me. Funny (when Mineta isn't around), bombastic, and a good time, even if I don't think it's super thematically rich.
I'm not coming at this from the perspective of someone who has never seen any of the merits of Worm, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who really liked it, gave it a fair shot, and was eventually disappointed when it ended up not tying together right.
See, this makes me more inclined to think it's bait, actually. since you said "Oh yeah. MHA is published. MHA's been an ongoing publication with a large following for ten years, in a notoriously competitive industry. Now this might seem kind of unimpressive, it's a very low bar to clear I know. But it's one Worm hasn't, so. I dunno, I'd say that's fairly objective. Now you may think "Yeah, but Trash fiction gets published all the time." And that's true but again - Worm hasn't. The worst piece of fiction you can think of got published and Worm didn't. You wanna be an asshole about this? The thing you love is so mid that it was self published in 2013, couldn't get picked up for professional publishing until 2019 and as far as I can see has stayed in development hell since then." in your previous post. Sure, perhaps we can say you were pissed at the time, but "the thing you love is worse than trash fiction, an altogether nothing piece of literature that isn't even worth the paper it would hypothetically be printed on" does not strike me as the words of someone who "really liked it, gave it a fair shot, and was eventually disappointed when it ended up not tying together right." In fact, going back through your other statements on the story, you seem to have genuinely disliked it from the very beginning, on grounds of being too edgy (which I can fully understand the logic of): "IE: it thinks that all it has to do to be smart is be bleak and/or graphic," thematically incoherent: "It doesn't really try to say anything, in fact it contradicts itself throughout the book as I mentioned before, it just throws in extremely graphic scenes and content periodically to remind the audience how fucked everything is," and utterly devoid of purpose or meaning. "When it does introduce new lore that new lore is almost always overly convoluted and acts as a catalyst for things happening, but not really things happening that play into a wider theme or message. It's just "Oh and here's this team of god-level serial killers who are gonna string a dude up by his nervous system." Like yeah, cool visual, but what is any of this actually saying?" This does not sound like a ringing endorsement of the first half of Worm to me. In fact, this sounds like you hated every second of it.
"And frankly given the number of comments that are just people saying "Bait" - I don't think any of y'all have engaged with this in a fair or honest way"
I'm going to reiterate on my previous statement. I like my hero academia. Capeshit is my favorite genre, it probably always will be. They're my favorite genre of story. While I find the themes—or lack thereof—extremely frustrating, I still think of it as fun. I gave it a fair shake. I would probably really enjoy the ending if I didn't have a reading list that was 300 books long.
#worm spoilers#MHA spoilers#*One Punch Man is partially an exception as characters are “never more than their tropes” for the sake of parody.#i don't dislike my hero academia by the way. in fact i rather like it. at least the first three quarters or so#L style contessa should have hit eidolon with a car and been like “look at that the endbringers stopped crazy.”#well it would have actually been crazy considering she had no way to know he was causing them#sorry n0brainjustvibes i never finished that MHA fanfic you recced me#quote text is colored to stop your eyes glazing over at the wall of text#armsmaster is what endeavor could/should have been#like they have a very similar arc. but they differ in that armsmaster's redemption is earned and endeavor's isn't#how so? there's like a reason armsmaster has an epiphany about his previous behavior#endeavor's like “oh the narrative is focusing on me as a protagonist i better be a good guy now!”#the fixing society thing is what ward should have been about but wasn't. but we're not talking about ward#by the way i wish they just killed teacher instead of birdcaging him. ward would have been so much better#^that was a joke#sorry about making the quotes smaller i'm trying to save some space in this tumor of a post somewhere#please don't say “god-level serial killers” by the way. for my sake if nothing else#you know i made the comparison to gotham being a shithole somehow without any thought that the person i am disagreeing with is a batman fan#or at least a batgirl fan
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Honestly Peter/Roger should be way more of a ship imo. I know we barely got to see them interact in Dialtown but you cannot tell me Peter bringing up his wife was looking to spice things up in the bedroom or whatever wasn't a direct attempt to rizz him up that just completely flew over Roger's head (or maybe it didn't and Peter just chickened out. The possibilities are endless. I'm shaking you by the shoulders are you listening to me❓‼️)
#luly talks#dsaf#peter kennedy#roger jones#dialtown#i originally was making a different post just being vague rambling in the tags but then i hit post forgettign I'd hit post limit#and lost it 👎 so now im being straight forward and spewing my gospel 👍#but I'll say it the world of phoney on phoney is so unexplored#this one is so funny to me bc i also do ship jack and roger or rather acknowledge just how badly he wanted that phone#the hater brothers seeing the nicest little guy ever: i want him.#that's the reason why peter won't let roger meet his brother btw territorial beast/JOKE#queued this for nearly 4 am who gives a fuck
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I been using the pocket watch I inherit from my dad (uuuuh, inheritance, faancy meee ☆゚.*・。゚) but I have a home office so I don't have to wear nice clothes anymore. Anyway, I feel like this every time I see the time.
[Id. Gintoki looking bored. He's wearing a black hoodie and sweatpants and is holding a pocket watch on his left hand. End Id.]
#gintama#gintama fanart#my art#sakata gintoki#i'm so fancy ☆゚.*・。゚#i made this joke like 4 years ago but with full metal alchemist's ed#now the depression look hits different#also when i walk i jingle more now than before
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oughh......
#laya plays dragon age#da2#oc: liam hawke#this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that#but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH.#i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok#bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years#years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard#and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left#and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it#varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home#drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother#and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life#and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision#but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings#and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade#and he cant do it#and he hates it so much. but he wont do it.#and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways#if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands#as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even#the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it#but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too#if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more#''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me#dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more#or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever#anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again
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you know they were about to go so hard on emmy's personal quest. they didnt. but at least someone in that writing room wanted to give us that good good
#dav spoilers#it really does feel like two different teams of writers were on this game#and like. for his quest#the good team got most of it and the bad team did full damage control at the end T_T#i mean HELLO THE CEREMONY? WHERE THEY WALK OUT WITH HIS BLOOD AND ORGANS#THE ANIMATIONS WHICH WERE OBVIOUSLY HIGH PRIORITY AND FINISHED EARLIER IN DEVELOPMENT#THEE#FUCKINGGGGGG#the armor dude. that showcases his hollow chest. he's literally been hollowed out#nothing will change my mind that some writers wanted there to be actual meat to that mission/choice#im so madge. we could've had our tragic necromancer romance#and we kinda did honestly#but now the tragedy is that rook and emmerich are stuck in some horror simulation where no one is allowed to feel the full severity of thei#actions#now the tragedy is that he does this to himself and the only options are to clap/cheer/crack a joke/say 'yay :)'#AND HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO MOURN EITHER WAY#WE HAVE A FUCKING SJKDFHLJKFDHLJKSDHF MOURNWATCHER#LET US WATCH HIM MOURN PLEASE#he should either grieve manfred or his life's dream. we need to see how that choice affects his ability to express grief#FUCK#someone hit me im so mad#i'll never be normal about this bioware wtf did you do to me#see when i say this to brian it's a compliment but when i say it to bioware it's a curse#YOU GAVE ME THE PERFECT HUSBANDO AND THEN LOBOTOMIZED HIS HEART#fuck it. whatever. still replaying his romance. if you even care.#emmyposting
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every time I think i've managed to go a day without anxiety it says "haha just you wait!"
#the feeling of unaccomplishment just really hit me because I saw this one girl I was friends with during 2nd grade posting about her new#baby and starting her own business and although those aren’t things I want for myself right now I just feel so far behind everyone else#everyone I know from before I did online schooling for high school is at college (and I’m not joking when I say 95% of them are going to#nursing school which was what I wanted to do before I decided working in a hospital would be too much for me since I go there once a month#already for infusions) and even if I were to strike up a conversation with one of them it’s hard because they’re all at college and#probably busy and I can’t decide who would be best to reach out to because I haven’t talked to them in almost 9 years#I’ve been trying to post more on ig stories in hopes that one of them might reach out first but I fear I need to bite the bullet#I’ve been tempted to just say screw it and just ask on my story if anyone would want to hang out some weekend but that’s so embarrassing#even if someone does reply… let alone if no one replies#I just keep telling myself that when I get this job it will be different because it will force me to socialize but I’m scared I’ll never#get to achieve what’s ‘Normal’ in life#autumn rambles
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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
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Worked on a ref for my fursona 🎉
#her name is diane and she's actually more like. my sona in general?#it's just. okay so diane is if i need a sona for stuff#and she has different aspects of her in different universes and different species and such#so my fursona is the furry version of her. if that makes sense#i also have an mlp pony version i made as a joke with a friend floating around#i could make a tiefling version of her because that's my usual pick for a dnd race#etc etc you get it i think#i need to find her a masc name for when she's a guy#for gender exploration purposes on my end but also because i like having options#anyway so she's a pigeon and i'm pretty happy with a drawing#hopefully i'll finish it soon and i can show people#i think she's cool. personally. zero bias here :)#i guess diane as a persona is kind of like. the same vibe as meredith?#meredith is an oc so she's not Me but she's... who i want to be. i want to be like her but better#meredith is who i'm trying to be even cooler than when i hit my 50s (in a looonnng time)#diane is more like who i hope i will be like in a few years#maybe i'll make it so she's always a few years ahead of me. the cool future me i can be#meredith is a character i want to be like because i like her#diane is a character i'm making up to hype myself up about my own future. she's me mostly#diane is achievable. meredith is a 52yo vampire who makes potions.#wow i have a ramble tag now
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it really means the world to me that little 12 year old daigo mentions that kiryu used to hang out with him a lot, meaning a teenage kiryu (and likely a teenage nishiki as well) basically babysat an even younger daigo on the reg for some amount of time. i wonder what shenanigans they got up to
#if im remembering correctly i think they said something about going to the arcade but yeah other than that#they’re so… different. I feel like kiryu would try to teach him a sport and daigo would fucking hate it#unless he could manage to change the rules around so that he can hit nishiki with the ball a bunch of times#and I mean it’s not like kiryu would be helping him with schoolwork#like let’s be real here#all jokes aside I imagine it really meant a lot to daigo to have someone treat him like a normal kid and encourage doing#stupid normal kid things instead of whatever his other caretakers had him doing#kiryu (especially at that point) is just a big child at heart in his own way- probably more than daigo was ever really allowed to be-#so it’d be a nice oasis from the cold strict monotony of daigo’s typical life.#that and kiryu (and probably even more so nishiki) is actually somewhat physically affectionate unlike probably anyone else in daigo’s life#and isn’t afraid to like. ruffle his hair or pat him a little too hard on the back or what have you#man those two have known each other basically their entire lives huh???#like damn it’s just now really hitting me that they’ve known each other like. at least 35-40 years?#could be longer depending on if kazama introduced them prior to kiryu becoming a yakuza and all that#kiryu’s just sort of been. always there in daigo’s life. that’s sorta wild#anyway time for me to stop talking#rambling#daigo#kiryu
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me when the rsd is . rsd. ing. oh my god
#salmon jibberish#also funny how when i do the art im most proud of it like . Does Ass /lh#my last two full art pieces im so so proud of (especially resonance) and they just kinda . did ass#i always tell myself dont do it for the numbers#and im not!#but it still . guh#i like. i like people seeing the stuff i make#i hate begging for reblogs!!! but i !!! want people to see my stuff ajd like it!!! yknow?!#i feel like an evil bitch for wanting thing#*things#i need to get hit by a car. or something#joking of course#naturally#logically i know the stuff my brain is telling me to kms over is really fucking stupid but#ow. ow. ow . ow. it hurts#yaknow!#im taking poison damage or something#god i need to be euthanized or solething#brain things#also i feel like i fucked up friendships before they even got off the ground but thats a subject for a whole different day and post so um#!!!!!!!! lets ignore that#ive been ripping my brain apart for the past four days and i just .need to speak !!!! now !'nn or i'll die
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yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health
#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit#which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/#and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it#so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly#i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does#which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it -#is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭#like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things#im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them#like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time#whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down#and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO#so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am#and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway#and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like#and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl.#like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER#and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just#her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up?#me: why do you need a watch for that?#her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover#me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists#THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH#ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done#latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up#i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house#thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth#godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type#i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community#hella goes home
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not me being fully transparent about law school life as a queer woman of color, but like. literally started tearing up in front of my school’s dei officer lmao
#caroline talks#i mean. okay hm.#the kind of hurt you feel when you're a kid in an all-white town#is p different i think. from the hurt you feel as now a grown ass adult in a professional setting#because at least when you're a kid being bullied because of your race. you can lift your chin#and say that. well they're immature and they're stupid and you're gonna get out of this town.#and when their parents say the same things about you and your family you can still lift your chin and smile and go 'well. i'm gonna grow up#so big that you can't even hit me'#and then you're an adult. and it hurts bc these are people who are might hire you one day#and you can't do anything but just smile politely when they say something about 'your people'#alexa play you're on your own kid by taylor swift or whatever#because truly!!! the jokes weren't funny i took the money my friends from home don't know what to say!
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i don’t talk about michael being playfully annoying enough
#like i do but mostly in the ‘younger teenager little shit’ way or his. Problems making him annoying which is TRUE#but also please consider michael just being the silly kind of annoying with people. at any point in time really he will fuel silly chaos!#yeah he lost so much of his whimsy but that’s exactly why i want him to be like that with people DKKDJF#when he lets go of the abrasive front and starts talking a lot more and being playful/joking around <3#he just needs some enrichment and a good friend/partner/whatever#(he needs so much more than that but shhh)#he is a little shit. but in the shut up (affectionate) way sometimes. idk how else to explain the difference#honestly reminder to myself to talk about michael Losing His Whimsy because the depression/other problems sure did hit pre 83#but that’s another thing entirely#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
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after having experienced the highs and lows of a wlw situationship i felt like the opposite of the straight girls that say they'd have it way easier if they were into women instead
#don't get me wrong at the end of the day i don't trust anyone and men are worse and scarier to me but damn#when you find out you're into women they sell you the fantasy that women could never make you suffer or that#since it's a gay relationship it could never get as bad as straight relationships#like sure there are differences but#at the end of the day all relationships have the potential of being either great or awful#that was not the first time i suffered from being in love with a woman but#i had only experienced unrequited love before that so it hit me like a truck#the realization that someone could be into me and yet still not want the same things i wanted or love me in the way i wanted to be loved#txt#personal#btw the post is a joke obvi idt I'd have it easier with men i think anyone from any gender has the potential to break my heart lol#i guess after everything i was like what the hell i might as well like a man next since I'm suffering like this#but I wasn't expecting for my ex crush to show up and even less so for my feelings for him to return#so inconvenient for him to show up the day i swore off love#ok sorry I'm done fr now
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Y'all still listen to boyfriend audios in 2023
Pfft- 🤭
HA!
I could nev—
#tis just a joke#chill out#please#boyfriend audio's hit different on some nights ngl#but#i got my own personal ones now!#im just so happy#i love them so much#love#romance#bf/gf#relationship meme
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