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sunsents · 3 years ago

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Library - James Potter (M)

Heyyy, hey, how ya'll doing?? My exams are over!! Thank you so much for the support and the lovely messages 😙 here's a kith. I know you guys are waiting on Empty part 2, so here's a really short unedited thing?? I wrote a few months ago for you guys to read while you wait. You can really see how much I improved with my recent writing, but I hope you all enjoy this nonetheless while I finish up Empty 2. Enjoy, or don't. Idk.

Summary —> A study sesh turns into something much more when two knuckleheads interrupt you.

Pairing: jamespotter x fem!reader (im sorry to frederick for neglecting my gingeritis religion.)

Word count: a mere 1.4k

Warnings: smut / just filthy sex honestly / cheeky lil breast action /

Rating: 18+

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

You made sure to neatly pile your hoard of essay papers and not mind the ink blotches your palm had left from the hours of work put within. It didn't matter, Slughorn cared about the content rather than esthetic, hopefully. It was no big matter to worry about you told yourself, your handwriting was messy and not the most appealing, but your handiwork in potions was quite the opposite, it was fine.

"Hey ____, still workin' on those?" James Potter's husky voice cracked like a whip in-front of your face, perhaps painful to your ears as well.

You glowered at him, what else were you supposed to do? His antics continued to worsen every day. "What do you want?" your nasally voice caused you to clear your throat, evidence perhaps that you hadn't left the library seat and spoke in hours.

"Just checking in." Sirius Black's pool of hair - black as well - was turned the opposite way, he was gazing at the library books, a most unusual sight for him. "Didn't want you melting outta boredom."

"I'm perfectly fine thanks." you snapped, your head rung in awful thumps of pain but you paid no attention to it.

The corners of James's perfect lips lowered playfully. "You're all snappy, we're doin' nothing." his tone was smooth as silk now, his lips tugging into a playful grin once again. Never was a grin not on James's handsome face.

You took a deep inhale while watching him, you had to anyways. Your fingers were fidgeting together under the table, a view James couldn't hopefully see but the way your rings clicked together made him painfully aware. "Just don't bother me till' I'm done, I'm almost finished."

James nodded, his bottom lip jutting out in a frown once again. You had to roll you eyes, had to do something to make it seem like you weren't enjoying their so called company.

You stretched your head back and enjoyed the feeling of your neck craning and extending for a few moments. It had been a some time since movement was made in your fatigued body. you figured your tied up hair wasn't going to keep intact much longer, so you released the band in a swift move. Your hair cascaded down all the same, then you quickly shot straight and continued to write.

You didn't have time for comforts and stretching, you were close to finishing your essay and that was all that mattered. You didn't even bother asking James if he had done it, because his answer was surely at the ready. He was Head Boy and his marks were all excellent, but when it came to homework it was long forgotten to him.

A slight diversion caused you to look up, James and Sirius were on the ground and a few books had fallen, scattered around the wooden library floor. You scoffed then flicked your wand; the books magicked up and flew back to their original places. "One second and you guys make a mess." you stared, your eyes flashed dangerously. You weren't an intimidating person, at least you liked to think so much unlike what your friends said.

But surely, you easily managed to intimidate the two most popular boys in Hogwarts. They both quickly shot up and took the seats in-front of you. Sirius was apologetically looking down, unlike James who immediately relaxed and sprawled himself out on the plush cushions. Ass, you thought, but didn't say anything.

"Alright what do you want, really." you deadpanned, you knew them for seven years, they weren't fooling you.

James, who was busy wiping his glasses on the fabric of his sweater put them back on and smirked. "You." he simply said.

You rolled her eyes and scoffed all the same, though your stomach was erupting in butterflies. "James why don't you go bother Lily like you always do." you whispered, Madame Pince was glaring at them and you weren't going to risk getting kicked out of the library again.

"No," James started, Sirius merely watched the interaction play out with a smile. "why would I go t'her when I have you right here."

You shot up and squeezed your fists, you weren't going to fall for it, a phrase you had been telling yourself for the past two years when James's interest suddenly piqued on you. "I'm gonna go put these books back."

After pressing the three large books to your chest, you wasted no time getting far away from the two boys as possible. Your heartbeat was rapid, dangerously fast that you thought you might drop dead.

It wasn't much time until you reached the furthest corridor of bookcases, luckily this was the row where you had acquired the books. You walked to the middle and stood on your toes, reaching your hand up and letting the books fly back to their original places. Then, the next book, same process. You were going awfully slow, doing your best to avoid talking to James as much as you could so your burning cheeks could go cool down and your heart would stop trying to thump out of your chest.

The third book, so close to being done until a presence suddenly overpowered you. It was right behind you and awfully familiar, towering over your stretched figure. James' cologne was what gave it away so suddenly, "Let me." his tone was going in spirals, once husky, then silky and now this. Breathless, strained and somehow desperate.

What you didn't realize was your skirt lifting up when you stood tip toe on your legs, your years of Quidditch clearly visible on your body. At least for James anyways. You heard him swallow thickly, then a muscular arm towering over her figure and pushing the last book up.

James sucked in a breath.

It was dizzying, you were never this close to him. A new territory, unfamiliar and intimate, not to mention exciting. Sure he flirted but he never took it too far, you didn't know what to think of it either. He was confident while "flirting" with Lily, he held his chest high and cracked jokes which only made the Lily blush deeper and continue to insult him. His ego boosted whenever Lily would try to hide away her blush, and the usual row of girls on the background sighing with her. It was somehow annoying, seeing James so buttered up.

James exhaled harshly.

But with you it was different, James was the one blushing. An unusual sight, James Potter being flustered but it was true. He would even stutter at times if you playfully flirted back, which happened very rarely. He would start off confident, and it would die down in a matter of seconds.

James was breathing almost heavily now.

You felt proud at sometimes, you even believed that James maybe would be harboring feelings for you. But then that big ole clump in your head would yell 'why would he, he's James Potter. Also, he's been in love with the same girl for years.' and all that hope would dissolve away.

James groaned desperately.

So frankly, you didn't know how you ended up with your skirt hiked up your waist, panties messily tucked aside and thick cock buried to hilt between your walls and continuously slamming into that one, dizzying spot. James' hands slithered around your waist and his arms tightly encircled on your stomach to press. You could feel every single muscle. Every single muscle to from stomach, down his thighs and the flesh between them.

He pressed his chest on your back, whispered the filthiest phrases he could think of to make you writhe, told you how pathetic you were for letting him do this in a ruddy library. Maybe this was what caused him to run a hand up your chest and clasp his hand around your throat. "Keep quiet, don't want anyone seeing you like this." he had told you, and it was the slight roll of his hips that made you unable to answer and barely take it.

You babbled, drooled, worshipped his cock with your sopping cunt until he was telling you that he loved you. He pulled on your chin to kiss you, sloppy and wet and he didn't let you answer. His glasses were pushed behind, rocking back and forth with his body, dangerously close to falling off. He was gorgeous and with your hands propped on the library shelves, you whimpered an "I love you." back. The two of you came, claiming each other and lazy smiles knowing that the feelings the both of you harbored was reciprocated, and the possibility of having something more was true.

#james potter #james potter smut #marauders #hp smut #hp #marauders smut #james potter fluff #reader insert #james potter x reader #sirius black #james potter imagine #harry potter fluff #harry potter smut #harry potter fic #marauders fic

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years ago

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Drive By ~ part 3

A/n: HELLO I FINALLY DID IT!! This part was hard until I finally rediscovered a few songs that FUELED this part (namely “Falling” by Harry Styles and “Far Away” by Nickelback) and then I managed to finish it! Hope you guys liked it :)

Warnings: Some depressive tendencies (distancing, slight disassociation, etc.). Internalized homophobia. Demonizing of soulmates. Bigoted opinions (Luke and Reggie make fun of them)

Word Count: 5800+

MASTERLIST

Luke and Reggie hadn't been the same since seeing Y/n again, but in very different ways.

Whatever Luke was on, it could only be described as overcompensating. His energy was higher than ever, and he could never quite sit still. His voice was louder, and he talked more. He never stopped talking. It stopped making sense after a while, but Julie and Alex were too worried to stop him. When they tried, his face went blank and his shoulders seemed to slouch and he stopped dead. It was like he'd been slapped... There was a sort of distance in the way he looked at everyone, and talked, and even engaged. He didn't even really process the whole shebang with Caleb, he just stuck very close to Reggie.

And then there was Reggie. He was already kind of off to begin with. He was smart, but he tended to zone out sometimes, and when he tuned back in he'd missed something important and was super lost as to what was happening. Or, someone would say something and he would get the wrong meaning, like the context of the situation had gone just over his head. It was adorable above anything else, and the boys loved to gently tease him about it... but now it wasn't something light hearted and funny. He did a lot of sitting and staring off into space and being silent, and it was very much not like him at all. Usually when he got upset all one had to do was talk to him about one of the things he really loved, but even that was a dead end conversation these days.

Julie, Flynn, and even Alex were all completely lost on what to do with either boy. They still responded when spoken to, and if they had to pitch in they did. Luke still wrote songs and Reggie still hung out with Ray and had Carlos' back and Luke still visited his parents and they both still performed. Luke still seemed to be there when Julie gave "Unsaid Emily" to Luke's parents. They were both still THERE when they were needed, it was just in the little hours. In the small moments, they were... far away. They looked through people and seemed to drift far too much. They were spiraling in a very hidden sort of way and no one knew how to even begin to help.

It was a relief at the end of the day that they could take comfort in each other. Neither had to talk about it, so still no one knew that Y/n and Reggie - and also maybe Luke and Reggie as well - were soulmates. It was written off as Reggie and Y/n being best friends. The two had always understood each other better than the others did. They had soft conversations and secret jokes that lead to exchanged looks no one could quite catch up on. Losing Y/n had been as much a weight on Reggie as it had on Luke. It had been the most clear in those last days. Luke could see the unsettled, unfinished business resting in Reggie's eyes. It had been the same look Luke had seen in his own eyes after the argument with his parents. Every day he hadn't gone back, and when Julie had called him from the dead and he'd gone home and felt it in his very bones. He saw that look, that feeling, in Reggie clearly. Which made sense, considering that Reggie and Y/n had ended in an argument the same way Luke and Y/n had. The pair had never really recovered after that last argument. Reggie had been the one to encourage Luke to let it go when Luke's tattoo had gone grey... and now it was all a mess.

Reggie understood the mix of joy and pain that Luke felt when he'd seen Y/n. Had realized that Y/n had died around when they did. That he was still their age, a ghost just like them, and within reach... theoretically. That's where the bitter came in.

It was nighttime that was the biggest relief.

Luke and Reggie spent most of it cuddling, clinging to each other like they did when they were kids. That night, both of them were having a hard time sleeping as was usual of recent. Ghosts didn't really have to sleep, but they did get physically exhausted every once in a while. Usually a good sit down with a side of relaxation would be enough, but sleeping lessened the overwhelming amount of down time the boys found themselves in, with no one else to talk to but Julie and nothing else to do but sit around and write music, and nothing else to think about than all the mistakes they'd made and the people they'd lost and the things they'd left behind. When one's mind ran that quickly, sleep would have been a relief. Except that a racing mind rarely if ever allowed one to rest, especially if it wasn't required.

So they stayed awake and they talked and they let the time pass as quickly as possible.

"Do you really think you could still fit in the kid swings?" Luke giggled, nose scrunched in that adorable way that always made Reggie's heart race.

"Oh absolutely," Reggie responded with a warm smile of his own. His insides always warmed in these moments, despite how cold he'd felt since seeing Y/n again. Luke seemed to make that connection Reggie lost feel... whole again. Like the thing that had broken in him since losing Y/n was just about fixed. Y/n really had meant a lot to Reggie, and as amazing as Alex and Flynn and Julie were and how important they all were to him, Luke was just different.

A soft breath escaped between Luke's lips then, and his large, green, sparkly eyes found Reggie's. "Thank you Reggie. I don't think I've really laughed since-" His smile faltered. "In a while." His forehead pressed to Reggie's shoulder. "You're my best friend, Reg. I hope you know."

Reggie hummed. "Yeah sure." He noticed the way Luke's eyes zoned out again, getting duller as they zoomed in on the freckles across Reggie's neck and arms. "You okay, Lu?"

For the first time since being asked that question multiple times every day by all of his other friends, Luke was honest. "No." His voice was suddenly very broken.

There was a mixed feeling about this whole thing. Reggie understood Luke perfectly, and how sideways this whole situation was. He knew nothing could make it better, or ease the pain. Nothing but time, if even that. This didn't stop Reggie from WANTING to help though. To ease that pain, and lessen it. To make Luke feel better. All he could do was offer himself, knowing how much it just wouldn't be enough.

"Come here." Reggie opened his arms and Luke rolled onto his side so their bodies were pressed together. Luke's shoulder nestled under one of Reggie's collar bones; Luke's head pressed into Reggie's neck. He didn't mean to, but Luke was warm and he wanted so desperately to say something that when his mouth opened... "I'm sorry I'm not him."

Luke's head moved back, his shoulder pressing more into Reggie's chest as their eyes locked. "What does that mean?" Luke's head tilted, eyebrows dipping in silent accusation. No, not accusation. Worry.

Reggie's eyes jerked to the side. "I just... I wish I could give you some closure. Or just talk to him. Or just have him back. I wish I could actually help, instead of just laying here every night and settling with just distracting you." He shrugged.

One of Luke's hand rose to hold the side of Reggie's face, maneuvering it so they were forced to look at each other again. "Reggie, you're enough. Just you. You've always been enough, you have to know that." His eyes were so sincere... They were so bright and honest and earnest.

What else was Reggie to do but believe him?

Suddenly there was a warmth where Luke's shoulder touched Reggie's chest. It was that moment both boys realized two things. First, it was the same shoulder that Y/n had touched the night the two boys had met. Second, Reggie's collar had fallen down, pushed aside in all the squirming around so the same spot Y/n had touched the night they'd had that special heart to heart was exposed, pressed to Luke's shoulders. What followed next was a completely new realization. Their soulmate marks were touching, skin to skin, and there was a distinct, familiar feeling because of it. A tingling. The same tingling both boys had felt anytime Y/n had touched their soulmate mark. The same feeling they'd gotten the night they'd received those special marks. The two nights that had become two of three nights that had changed everything. Just as it was all about to change again.

Reggie jerked away very suddenly. He scrambled to his feet and then suddenly disappeared. Luke was a second slower, just behind him. Too late to stop him. He scrambled after Reggie though, appearing on the floor rather than in the loft where they'd been before. Just in time to see Reggie tripping over himself to get to the mirror in the bathroom. Luke followed, just in time to see Reggie yank down his shirt to reveal-

Two roses, stems crossed over the other like an 'x'. Just black ink outline, like a coloring page before it's been colored in. The same exact rose that had been on Luke's shoulder and Reggie's neck, but two this time. The same roses that had been on Y/n's palm the night he'd given Reggie a soul mark as he had given Luke one.

Luke turned his body, showing his shoulder in the mirror as well.

The same two roses in the same exact fashion showed on his shoulder.

Reaching out, Luke pulled Reggie's shoulder so they were facing each other. "Reggie... what the hell?" He was even more nervous when Reggie looked back with eyes that had answers. Answers Luke was worried he might very much not want to know.

"What are you doing?"

The small boy looked up to see another small boy. Both of them had green eyes and brown hair - that was the first notice. "I'm playing guitar," the second small boy answered the first.

"No you're not," the first argued. "That's not a guitar. It's a- a- well, its a stick with string tied to it is what it is. And it has too many strings at that!"

The second boy hid the stick behind his back, his chubby face screwing up in anger. It was like a pouting puppy, and the first small boy had to admit it was... kind of adorable. "It IS a guitar," the adorable boy huffed. "What do you know about guitars anyway."

A smile adorned the face of the first boy. "My mom has one. She said I could have it one day."

The adorable boy tilted his head. "Well I guess you're lucky then."

The first boy laughed. "Would you like to play it some day?" The adorable looked shocked, and the first boy smiled even wider. "Thought so. What's your name?"

"Luke," the adorable boy answered. "Yours?"

"Reginald. I... don't like it though." Reginald scrunched his nose, shaking his head.

Luke nodded. "What about a sort of nickname then? Something you like more." Reginald sat next to Luke, and the not-guitar-actually-a-stick was abandoned in favor of the conversation. "There's all sort of odd, funny ones. Like um, Gin."

"That's even worse," Reginald complained.

Luke giggled. "Uh, how about Ginny?" Reginald only had to glare for Luke to rush out, "Okay okay okay, HUGE no on that then. I suppose... well you could be totally boring and go with Reggie."

"What's wrong about boring?" Reginald asked immediately. "You need a little bit of it to make everything else interesting." As Luke went to respond, Reginald continued, "Plus, look who's talking! Luke is the most normal name I've ever heard."

"It's short for Lukas," Luke defended.

"Even worse!" Reginald declared. "Why go with Luke? That's the most obvious nickname for Lucas!"

Luke nodded. "Yeah, but my name is spelled Lukas with a K. So it's cool."

After a second, Reginald nodded. "You can call me Ginny if I can call you Kas."

That made Luke bust up laughing. "You can call me Kas all you want. It's a fun nickname I think."

"I think I'll stick to Reggie though," Reggie decided.

Another nod from Luke. "That's fair." He hesitated a moment. "Wanna be friends?"

A grin like no other took Reggie's face, and Luke found his insides warm up and soften. "Absolutely."

Luke's mind was reeling.

Reggie was worrying. Exceedingly.

"Are you mad at me?" Reggie had never been known for holding his emotions in, and really neither had Luke.

Which is why it was no surprise when the guitarist suddenly looked up, eyes wide with surprise and expression open and honest. "Why would I be mad at you?"

For second, Reggie didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to explain the emotions in his chest that hurt so much. But then he looked into Luke's eyes, and the words came on their own. "I know things haven't been easy for you when it comes to mixing band members and romance. Or when it comes to soulmates." He shrugged. "It doesn't help that - I mean, we've changed a lot, and being with Julie has taught us so much. We've learned to accept a lot about ourselves, and we're lucky for that. But we were still born and raised in the 90's. And back then, soulmates were... bad."

Immediately, Luke sighed. Reggie realized it was in relief. "I feel like I'm behind. Like I didn't leave those fears behind when he got brought back. I still feel like... sometimes I still feel like loving Y/n is wrong. Like I need to keep it a secret and hide it away and push it down. I got so scared when Julie found about my soulmate mark - and then was so surprised when she was so casual about it. I still expect her to snap at me, or be secretly bitter that I'm asexual, or attracted to men. I don't know." he shook his head, sighing again. His shoulders sagged, and Reggie realized that he must feel so relieved to have lost whatever huge amount of stress he was carrying this entire time keeping that inside. "Does it make me a bad person? To flinch away from things like that? It's not that I hate it, I just-" He was obviously struggling.

Sitting down next to Luke, Reggie placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Luke you were conditioned from a kid to hate the things about yourself that are most important to you. Things that are ingrained in your coding." He chuckled, and Luke smiled. "Hell, I think even people who were born nowaday still struggle with it sometimes. It's programming. Subconscious. Your emotions don't make you - the way you react to them do."

At that, Luke finally completely relaxed, resting his head on Reggie's shoulder. "Do you ever realize that the only reason people back then demonized soulmates so much is just because it was one less thing they could control? Like, people back then really cared about power so much. Power over people specifically. Like I remember that week that our school did a campaign for fighting against soulmates-"

Reggie gasped. "Oh my god I remember that! They said it was brainwashing. Wasn't it like... like I remember it was so cool for a while, but then people of the same gender started to become soulmates and everyone lost their minds."

"Men and women balance each other out; same sex attraction is an easy way out and ultimately cheats people who deserve better," Luke mocked, his voice snapping and bitter. "This just proves that soulmates are of the devil!"

Reggie busted up laughing. "Don't remind me of Mrs. Kyde-" He snorted, leaning into Luke more, his face light up with a smile.

Luke shook his head. "People are so weird. Literally what does who anyone loves or marries or whatever have anything to do with anyone not involved in that relationship? You don't like the fact that I'm into men? Fine! Go be straight somewhere else." He rolled his eyes. "I hate thinking about how afraid I used to be. Of people finding out about Y/n and me. GOD we were so happy. And the way people treated him..." Suddenly the mood dropped, and Luke raised his hand to wipe away a tear. He scoffed softly. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry for feeling things, Luke," Reggie reassured, raising his arm to wrap around Luke's shoulders and pull both of their bodies closer together.

Turning his head to thank Reggie, Luke stopped short when he then realized how close they were. "You know," he said softly. "It's so weird to realize you're my soulmate too." He smiled though, so Reggie didn't panic as much as he would have normally. "I mean, you were really right there from the beginning. We met in middle school. I was like. Tiny." Reggie giggled and both of them were suddenly smiling again. "You were there for all my worst phases."

Reggie groaned. "God you were my sexual awakening."

"I wasn't," Luke gasped, eyes wide.

"You were." Reggie laughed again, shaking his head. "I was CRUSHED when you started dating Alex. And then you two were so happy, and I saw how hard it was. Saw you guys figure that out, and then kind of devolve into just being friends. And then we started the band, and I realized it was just so much easier to stay friends with you."

"We took ages to figure that out," Luke recalled. "I don't think we ever really figure out personal space again."

Reggie nodded. "And then Y/n came along and I figured I could just jam with being friends. I was so used to it at that point, and there were so many things to be distracted by. Our band was gaining traction and people were talking to us. To me. You two were so happy, and it was a little dangerous and fun and I was so relieved that I hadn't done anything, because I was watching soulmates interact properly and it was everything I ever wanted. I was glad I hadn't gotten between that." His smile faded. "And then..."

"And then you and Y/n," Luke offered. Reggie nodded. After a few seconds of silence, Luke asked, "So what do we do now?"

Shrugging, Reggie looked back at Luke. "What do you want to do?"

Luke thought about that for a second. "Well I know how happy I was with Y/n, and now the stupid things I was worried about before just won't be a problem. No one can see us unless we perform, and the person who can always sees us doesn't care. We don't have to worry like Y/n and I did. And maybe we'll see Y/n again. But we might not, and even if we do it won't mean things are going to go back to what they were. Do you... like him?" Reggie hesitated, then nodded. "Do you like me?" With less hesitation came another nod. "Can I... try something?" Yet another nod, this time with no hesitation.

His heart racing, Luke took a leap of faith. He knew himself at this point. Knew that there was only really one way to figure out his emotions. If he tried to figure it out via analysis, he'd eventually over think it until nothing made sense and he was just more confused. So he did something he knew would work. He softly grabbed Reggie's face and pulled his best friend to him until they were kissing.

When their lips touched, something seemed to unlock in Reggie. He shuddered and Luke leaned back immediately, eyes wide with nervousness. But then he saw the way that Reggie leaned in after him and he felt his heart swell and his insides warm. Reggie looked at him, unsure, but then seemingly at the same time they both grabbed each other, meeting for a passionate kiss that set them both on fire.

All either of them could think for a while was... Finally.

Luke was so happy to see Y/n getting along so well with his friends. They had met only an hour ago and Alex and Y/n had already bonded over being attracted to men. Bobby was standing back a bit, unsure how to approach Y/n and the situation implied between this new boy and Luke. Bobby didn't mind it, he knew about Alex after all. It had just surprised him because he didn't know about Luke. On top of that, he DID very much know about Y/n and his reputation, so he didn't know what to do with this person that seemed so different than the one Bobby had heard about, being seemingly romantically involved with a dude who Bobby had been sure was straight until today. Reggie and Y/n had distracted from Bobby's awkwardness by hitting it off right out of the gate with how comfortable they were with physical affection, as well as the fact that Y/n just seemed to be so quickly aware of and good with Reggie's little odd ways of doing things that were always so different than how most other people did them. Y/n was extremely insightful, and a fast learner and those two skills came in handy now.

In fact, Y/n and Reggie were getting along so well that Alex and Bobby had settled by Luke. A calm, warm air had settled in the room just like it always did when they were all together. The studio attached to Bobby's house had become like a second home for the three boys. Luke hoped that would carry to Y/n to.

After introductions, Y/n stayed for a little band practice, grinning from ear to ear as he clapped between songs. It seemed to fuel Luke, which only fueled the others. Luke's energy had always been contagious to his best friends, and now was no different. It only took one song for Bobby to warm up to the surprises he'd had tonight and this stranger he wasn't sure what exactly to do with. By the end of it, Y/n was shouting so loud Luke had to come over and gently remind him it was getting late and people might handle a band playing, but they definitely would refuse to tolerate straight up screaming. When the sun began to set, they all headed out to sit on Bobby's roof and watch the sun set as they talked about that day's practice just like they always did. Except, instead of the usual criticism and praises and general discussion, they turned to Y/n to get an third person opinion. Their mistake too, because Y/n grabbed the opportunity immediately to drown them all in praise, sparing no second or word to tell them how amazing they were and how much he loved their music.

"You play at all?" Bobby asked as Y/n began to calm down, blushing as he got self conscious at how long he'd been talking.

Thankful for Bobby sensing his rising awkwardness and distracting him from it, Y/n shot the rhythm guitarist a warm smile. "My older sister did." His smile faltered and the other boys exchanged looks before Reggie - who knew enough about siblings to recognize when someone mentioned something about them they didn't want pressed - shook his head in a firm no.

Luke took that to heart - he always trusted Reggie's instincts - and let it go. "So you've been around music a lot then. Anything you've especially taken to? Favorite band?"

Y/n smirked, but none of them were fast enough to stop him from saying, "You guys of course." The others groaned, but Luke's eyes only widened and he blushed. Y/n winked.

Eventually everyone had to go to bed. Alex, Luke, and Reggie had stayed here hundreds of times easy, but Y/n was hesitant to join them tonight. When Bobby encouraged it, finally he gave in and curled up with Luke on the couch. The first to fall asleep - to everyone's surprise - was Y/n. Bobby, who always slept in the studio when the boys stayed over, smiled at Luke. "So you found your soulmate."

That of course made Luke just beam with joy. "Yeah." Y/n had fallen asleep on Luke's chest and it was the most comfortable Luke had ever been in his light. He loved the weight of Y/n on him, reminding him every single second that this was real. "It's everything I thought it was going to be," he mused dreamily. "He just fits, like a puzzle piece. I totally thought I had everything figured out and then this person drops into the middle of my life and suddenly there's a whole other half of this picture I was sure I'd finished a long time ago..." He shook his head. "It's great."

Reggie chuckled. "So great you took, what, a month and a half to tell us about him?"

Luckily Y/n was a heavy sleeper, because if he hadn't been Luke would have woken him up with how hard he flinched. "I just didn't know how you guys would have reacted. Y/n kind of has a reputation, and I don't care obviously, but he's been through a lot of shit with people who do care and if you guys hadn't all gotten along it would have been the worst." Alex went to say something and Luke rushed to add, "And it's not that I thought you guys were dicks or anything. I just had this... fear, anyway. I mean, I've been standing by the fact that I don't really like anyone for a while and that's why most things like this haven't worked out, and it's still weird and complicated but Y/n is helping me a LOT to figure out that some attractions are different than others and..." He sighed, eyes purposefully looking away from Alex.

Sensing the core of Luke's worry, Alex reached over and touched Luke's shoulder, a genuine smile on his face. "Luke, I'm happy for you. I'm glad you figured out all the stuff you were struggling so much with back then and that you can be happy now." There was an unspoken, 'even if it's not with me' that he didn't have to say.

After that, the conversation died pretty quickly, and Bobby and Alex went to sleep too.

"Do you still think we'll be able to cuddle and stuff?" Reggie asked softly, looking up from where he lay.

Rolling his eyes, Luke answered, "Of course Reggie. The only thing that's going to change is that I might be a little less needy. I'll always be your Kas."

That made Reggie settle more, smiling to himself. There was something about thinking of Luke as HIS that made butterflies flutter in his stomach. "Good because I might've had to fight your boyfriend if that wasn't the case."

Luke chuckled. "Go to bed, Gee." After all those years, Luke had finally come up with his own, original nickname for Reggie that didn't sound stupid, and they both loved it.

Getting more comfortable, Reggie decided to do just that, right after one final, "Goodnight, Kas."

A sleepy, "Goodnight, Gee," came from Luke as they both finally drifted into sleep along with the others.

Things had been complicated, but that had been the case for far too long now, and Reggie and Luke had done everything in their power to make it as simple as possible. With the threat of being erased from existence completely looming over their heads, and no way to mend things between them and Y/n, now was as good a time as ever to let go of the past and hold on to the little time they had now. And they made it work. Despite the fear. Despite the pain. Despite once again losing all of the things that could have been and that they so wanted to be, what they did have was their soulmate mark, and that MEANT something. For now, they'd be fine with that.

Tonight was supposed to be it. They'd said their goodbyes and lined up the performance up so the boys could pass on. But they weren't showing up, and Julie Molina knew her boys well. Too well to think they'd left her again, so that meant two things. They were doubled over in pain somewhere, too incapacitated to play. Or... they were already gone. It had been too late and they'd been destroyed Julie had to do this performance completely by herself. Performing after Panic at the Disco, in one of the most sought after local gigs. In a packed auditorium.

In that moment, Julie did the only thing she knew how to. She went to her mom for help.

Rose Molina didn't show up, but someone did. A boy, maybe one or two years older than him. He was completely decked in white. Just jeans a t-shirt and everyday shoes, except he didn't have even a speck of dust or shirt on him. He was so clean that under the moonlight in the dark, dim alleyway, the boy seemed to glow. He smiled to her and extended his arm, and in his hand was a single flower.

A Dahlia.

She took it, her eyes welling with tears. She'd asked for a sign, and a boy as close to angelic as one could get without causing a scene had shown up to give her the flower that had always been her mother's favorite. He turned around and began to walk away but she rushed after him, reaching to catch his arm. She gasped when her hand went right through him. He turned as if he felt it, that soft, warm smile still on his face.

"Who are you?" She asked with a voice filled with awe.

He seemed to get sheepish. "I'm not an angel, if that's that you're thinking."

"Then what are you?" Julie asked, stepping closer.

For a second, he just thought. "A friend," is what he gave her. "When you need me most, I'll be there. I can promise that." And then he rose a single hand and waved at her before disappearing in a fashion that she had seen more than plenty of times with the boys.

After, when she tried to recall anything special about the boy other than his pristine, perfectly clean white clothes, she remembered few things. She'd been too caught up in the moment that was already packed with stress and heavy emotion and shock to think about anything else. It wasn't until after, when the boys were better and Luke had grabbed Reggie's face and kissed him in pure relief that she thought about the boy again. It wasn't much longer later - just later that night - but that had brought him into her mind was a surprise. For the first time in a long time, Julie was seeing Luke without sleeves, and as he turned to grasp his boyfriend in the heat of the moment, Julie saw his soulmate mark. Except now, it was a little different. It had two roses instead of one.

It was the exact sane mark that had been on the boy in the white clothes' hand as he waved goodbye to her.

She rushed to him touching his shoulder with wide eyes. "Luke, your soulmate mark..."

Reggie got excited, unbuttoning his shirt a little to show the matching one he had on his upper chest. "We're soulmates, Julie. Didn't we tell you that?"

"Well yeah," Julie dismissed, looking between the to marks that not only matched each others' but also the one from earlier that had been on the mystery boy's hand. "But... it changed."

Luke and Reggie looked at each other and decided silently in that moment that they couldn't handle it. Not right now. Not on top of everything else. They couldn't talk about Y/n. So Luke told a half truth. "It changed."

Immediately Julie glared at Luke. "This didn't change Luke, it doubled. Soulmate marks don't do that. They fade at best. There's been three cases total in all of the history of visible soulmate marks that completely disappeared - it's extremely rare for them to even make room for new marks, let alone create a whole new one that looks that similar to the last one you had there." Her face relaxed. "You guys are both soulmates with Y/n."

Reggie sighed, his happiness and relief melting for despair. "Yeah." He shook his head. "But can we please not talk about that? We just barely didn't completely die, and-"

"But I know where to find him," Julie rushed urgently. The two boys froze.

"What?" Luke choked out.

Julie took off, out of the room and returning back again with the Dahlia she'd received from who she now knew to be Y/n. She knew that the boys had seen him when they'd been at Bobby's house, but at the time she hadn't known who to look for and had missed him. She had gotten a description of him though here and there a few times, and from what she knew, this had to be him. If anything, the mark was enough. She didn't know why it hadn't hit her the second she'd seen the two roses, so very similar to Luke's one she'd seen before, right in the place that she knew Y/n's mark to be. Pushing that out of her mind now, she held up the flower to the boys. "When I thought you guys were gone, I went into the alley and I asked my mom to-" her voice got suddenly think with emotion and she cleared her throat, shaking her head. "I asked for a sign. Anything to let me know she was still here and watching me. That she was like you guys, or maybe somewhere else. Helping. And then Y/n showed up with THIS and told me he was a friend and that I could call on him anytime I needed him. That he would be there for me."

Luke ran a hand through his hair. "How did you know it was him?" His voice was strained, but the message still came across.

"He waved at me before he disappeared. He had the same roses on his palm, that you two do. We can find him! We can finally fix what happened all those years ago!" She grinned, her smile making the room brighter. "You guys can FINALLY go and get your man!"

Reggie and Luke looked at each other again, but this time their expressions were unreadable. When they turned back to look at Julie, she thought they were about to have a whole new purpose. Something GOOD that actually meant something. Not struggling for success, or running from life threatening danger, but something purely good that would finally help two of her four closest friends find peace with the one thing they regretted most about their lives before. Then Reggie spoke, only one word. One word that made less sense than anything Julie had heard in her entire life.

Reginald Peters opened his mouth and with complete conviction told her, "No."

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d4rkwr1t3s · 3 years ago

Text

Three Written Loves Chapter 4

Romoxiety and Intruloceit soulmate au where you are given a notebook to communicate with your soulmates at 16. You cannot say your name, address, place of school/work, number, etc.

Tw: Anxiety/Depression, ignoring one's own health, Remusy jokes, 2 things of Caps, if I need to tag anything else let me know

Chapter is in Patton’s POV with mentioned Prinxiety and Royality. Remus is also a staple in this chapter

Fonts/Colors for the chapter from Google Docs: Virgil’s- Pacifico purple last dot Roman’s- Pinyon Script red 4th dot

Ro: V! V! V!

V: What? Ro: Did you see it yet?

V: See what? I’ve been a little busy

Ro: We do have another soulmate!

V: What?

Ro: Yeah! Remember when I wouldn’t stop drawing on one of the pages

V: I think so

Ro: Go look!

V: Okay okay. One sec

Ro: I await with bated breath

V: Oh hush

Ro: Never

V: Wait. No. Holy shit

Ro: I know right?! We have a third!

V: Okay so what do we do

Ro: HI NEW PERSON

V: NO! Not that!

Ro: What? I’m just greeting them

V: That might overwhelm them

Ro: Oh riiight

Ro: I can hear your sigh from here

V: Shush. Do you think they can respond now?

Ro: I don’t know but Imma doodle something for them to place more hearts near

V: Okay you do that princey. I’ll look back later. I gotta drive while my brother makes a call

Ro: Okay Count Woelof. I shall talk with you soon then

V: Bye Princey

Ro: Goodbyyee

Patton was now panicking. He thought it would take them longer than that to find out he even wrote to them. Did Roman know? Was Roman even his soulmate? He fiddled with the pen as he watched the artistry come to life. One of the drawings looked like Roman in a prince suit holding someone else. He couldn’t tell who it was but maybe that was the point of it. It was still beautiful but he wasn’t ready just yet to write to them. He wanted to have a bit more confidence in what to say. He didn’t know what to say. Did he introduce himself? Did he just go as far back in the book as he could and vent out everything to why he couldn’t talk to them and that he understood if they didn’t want to talk to him? He was spiraling in his last class and he had no idea how to stop it.

He shut the book and put it away. He tried to resist the pull to bring it back out and look at the art on the pages. A few more minutes and he would be meeting Roman at J wing. A few more minutes and he’d get to go to a house, take a shower, maybe eat a nice meal, and talk with a new friend. Patton takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. He tries to focus on the lesson but couldn’t help the pull back to his soulmates.

Would they be afraid? Will they be accepting? He hoped so. Then his thoughts drifted to a sort of dance with Roman. The dance is reminiscent of the art he saw in the book. A soft gentle tune carried by the soft breeze against their skin. A soft flitting laugh as he’s dipped gently and smiling at their other partner watching them on the blanket before getting up.

And- the bell ringing snaps Patton out of his daydream violently. He shivers at the loss of his daydream but he gets up anyway. He walks over to J wing where he was supposed to meet Roman. And Roman’s brother? He didn’t realize Roman had a brother. Patton walked quickly so he wasn’t late to meet them. It took him a few minutes to get there but he didn’t see Roman. Did he leave without him?

No. That answer came clear as day when someone charged at him and stood a few centimeters away from himself with a grin from ear to ear. Someone else’s thundering footsteps not far behind but they stopped a bit further away with ragged breathing from running. Patton slowly leaned away from the person in his face as they turned to look at the other person, grin still ever present. “Now come on Roturd it wasn’t even that far of a run,” the stranger cackles. Roman’s breathing was still coming out a bit harsher, “I.. had to... chase you… around the entirety... of E block!” “See not that far!” The other teases Roman and moves out of reach when Roman moves to swipe at them, cackling all the while.

“Uhm…” Patton starts while looking at Roman for an explanation who holds a finger up for a second. When he’s ready Roman stands back up and moves to tame his hair, “this is my twin brother, and pain in the ass, Remus.” Remus licks his hand and swipes it up Patton’s arm, who screeches and jumps away. “I should’ve warned you beforehand,” Roman sighs heavily, “anyway he’ll be in the back seat. Do you have everything you need?” “Not really… It’s all hidden in the woods though,” Patton looked over sorrowfully from where he emerged just this morning. “I’ll have Remus get it for you. I got you an ice pack from the nurse,” he pulls the ice pack out of the bag and hands it to Patton.

“What is this for?” “Oh, your ankle is swollen,” Roman interrupts Remus’s dirty joke and shoos him off to go get the bags. Patton glanced down at it and shrugged slightly, “I didn’t even notice. Thank you.” “You’re welcome. Would you like me to carry you to the car?” “You really don’t have to do that for me.” “I know but I would like to if you’ll let me. You really shouldn’t be putting any weight on that ankle anyway,” Roman explained gently.

“Oh. Well sure?” Patton tentatively answered before a small shout of surprise at being lifted with ease. He quickly clung onto Roman who was laughing fondly at him.

“Didn’t think I could do it?” Roman teased. “Yeah…” “Well I can! Obviously. To the car!” Roman declared and walked over to the car where Remus was waiting impatiently. “Took you long enough!” “I swear you’re not human,” Roman huffed at his brother before setting Patton down next to the door.

“You’ll never know,” Remus stuck his tongue out at his brother before he climbed into the back seat with all of Patton’s things.

Roman sighed and shook his head, “he’ll leave us alone when we get home,” he opened the door for Patton, ignoring Remus’ maniacal giggling in the back. Patton gave him a small thankful nod and climbed into the passenger seat.

Remus snickered and hit Patton’s shoulder with a book, “this seems important,” he teased. Patton snatched his soulbook from Remus’ hands and held it close. Remus couldn’t see into it of course but he still didn’t want anyone to touch it.

“Everything okay?” Roman asked when he got in the driver’s seat.

“Yeah!” Patton piped up a bit too chipperly. Remus only laughed.

“Alright? Homeward bound!”

#roman sanders #creativity sanders #virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #patton sanders #morality sanders #remus sanders #prinxiety #royality #moxiety #romoxiety #d4rkwr1tes #three written loves

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rosemary-is-in-pesterquest · 4 years ago

Note

HS2's themes are fuckin wack crap cuz like... idk it all starts with the epilogues, right? the thing that the epilogues are trying to say is that all conflict that the characters face within the narrative is there because the audience cast their gaze upon this story and demanded entertainment. something has to happen on the stage to keep us watching, thus, it is the audience's fault that the characters suffer. but that's bullshit for so many reasons. for one thing, it ignores the role of the author. audience demand doesn't force an author's hands to write... that's a decision that the author made. we could've lived with nothing at all.

and conflict comes in many flavors. some stories hardly have any conflict at all. the whole iyashikei genre exists, like, I think we're well past understanding that cynicism, tragedy, and destruction are not the only forces that can drive a narrative. "conflict" is not the only reason for a story to be told. once again, stories tell us as much about the author as their audience. the kind of story an author deems worthy of telling is just as relevant to consider as the kind of story an audience deems worthy of attention.

and even in conflict driven stories... it matters what the conflict is, who wins, how, and why. as a simple example, when the conflict is a battle between good and evil, good wins, it does so by way of the power of friendship, and the reason it is presented this way is to promote the idea that you should be kind and help others... that's a story with a purpose. obviously this is like, children's cartoon level simple, and a story can be written to say different or more complex things, but I should always be able to ask those questions and come up with an answer.

if, as an author, Hussie wanted to accuse his audience of being culpable in the suffering of his characters, he would at least have to present the reader with a meaningful choice. and at first glance, it would almost seem like he did. meat and candy, even by their naming convention, seem as though they are giving you the option to consume a light or dark tale. but even in the names, there is a seed of judgement. Hussie has described the concept of a narrative containing both "meat" and "candy" in terms of story content, wherein meat is anything heavy in terms of plot or drama, and candy is anything that provides levity as a counterbalance, such as jokes or feel good fluff. these categories are already identified as "substance" vs. "a lack of substance" which places value on the cynical, dark route as being more truthful... conflating cynicism with realism.

and already I can see making a case for the idea that neither route is legitimate, because no story should subsist on just one or the other... both need to be at play for the story to be balanced. and you could even argue that the lampooning of the epilogues' legitimacy was the point... that they were supposed to be outside of canon and regarded as illegitimate all along. but then not only does that negate the author's ability to let the audience choose the kind of story they're participating in, but the story itself doesn't play by its own rules.

does candy truly read like some fluffy pandering fanservice filler, the way one might expect it to? and is meat totally devoid of any levity, while focusing only on plot machinations and/or the characters' dramatic downward spiral? I would argue that, even though the consensus seems to be that both routes are equally dismal, neither even gets dark enough to live up to that end of the bargain either. the execution is messy... the concept doesn't hold up.

and what of the initial concept? that the audience's observation of a story forces the characters to enact a conflict for the sake of our entertainment? is that really what's going on here? from the initial pitch, you could already tell that the answer was no. nobody asked for this. and so we cast our apparently destructive audience gaze onto Homestuck 2.

but there, we find another curveball. the story is... almost becoming self aware? in that it casts a character in the role of the author, and also identifies him firmly as the villain. but see, this is still a blame shift. and maybe that would've been less obvious if Andrew Hussie had not introduced himself as a character inside of his own web comic throughout the original narrative. the true author is already here.

the villain of homestuck was never the audience, and it was never a fictional character. if we're really shattering the 4th wall... if we're really ceasing our suspension of disbelief, pulling back the curtain, and acknowledging that these characters are fabricated, manipulated entities with real people behind the wheel, then there is only one conclusion we can possibly come to. the author has control over the narrative... no one else. and the things the author chooses to say with the platform they've made for themselves? those things are on them. what are we to understand about the author, as his audience?

this is why people are looking past the story entirely and engaging with the creative team, for better or for worse. if you break your story enough, it won't work anymore. and when the audience finds it in shambles, completely unusable as a story... you know, the thing it was intended to be? they might actually look to the people who broke it and ask them why they did that. it was a nice story. it performed several functions that people actually enjoyed. was dismantling it like this really the most fulfilling thing they could've done with it?

and I'll tell you another thing. part of why people take it so personally is because, just like how Andrew Hussie, the homestuck character, was a stand-in for Andrew Hussie, the human being... many of the characters in homestuck were stand-ins for us. John Egbert was for people who had an obsessive nerdy interest in movies, Rose was for people who wrote fanfiction, Nepeta was for people who ship characters a lot, she and Terezi were for people who RP, and also... Dave was for people who were trying to act cooler than they felt, Jade was for people who were lonely, Kanaya was for people who wanted to help people and be accepted, Vriska was for people who were hard to love and felt judged for that.

who do these writers think they're messing with?

and I just want to make it clear that I'm not condoning any kind of harassment of them, or anything like that. ultimately, my point here is that we are not our effigies. and in the same way that an author can't blame shift onto a fictional character, a person cannot claim the direction of a fictional story as a reason to do real harm.

but homestuck was always unique in that it spoke very directly to its audience. when Hussie added real pieces of us to his fake people, he had a powerful vehicle for the messages that he wanted us to hear. lots of stories have characters that are written to be relatable, but you'd be hard pressed to find ones that feel quite so specific as the cast of homestuck. to our era. to our humor. to the values of people growing up in our online cultural circumstances.

if this specific author is going to choose to act like a villain, at least in the small-scale context of this comic, then what is that setting us up to be? maybe nothing so presumptuous as a hero... maybe just like, Dave of Guy, y'know? but Dave made normal a pretty heroic thing to be... I think it's up to us to just be normal and have normal fun, in spite of the shit show. regular old homestuck already said all the valuable stuff it was gonna. for my part, I'm just gonna take that and run off with it. ignoring HS2 doesn't make it go away, but paying attention to it doesn't make it good either... so I guess whatever.

that's the themes. the themes are just a big "so what" shrug. most complicated way to say "who cares" I've ever seen.

This is a really good analysis

#long post /#I should probably start using that tag just in case it clogs up people's feeds

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fanficimagery · 5 years ago

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The Imprint Saga pt. 1

Summary: Imagine finding out the supernatural exists. You manage to keep a level head and even give the whole Imprint business a go, but your poor wolf had no idea just how stubborn you could be when you felt he or anyone else was in the wrong.

Words: 8.2K Warnings: This is absolutely ridiculous. I wrote it, loved it, edited it, and now I hate it. But I wrote three goddamn parts (currently writing pt. 3) and I refuse to delete any of it. With that said, the Reader gets a bit confrontational with those she doesn’t like and punches someone.

Moving to Forks for the start of your Junior year was not ideal, but your mom was in need of a better paying job and it just so happened that Forks General Hospital had a few open positions that needed filling. So after she gave you a week to pack up your room, the house, and have your high school transcripts transferred, your mom hired a moving truck to follow you over two hundred miles to your new home.

Everyone was curious about you and your mom, and it seemed like everyone knew everyone else's business so it was only a matter of time before the waitress at the local diner told everyone what she learned when she had made small talk with your mom. The town was also pretty dreary, but the beach in the next town over made up for it.

The first day of school has you waking up earlier than usual so you can drop your mom off at work before taking the car for yourself. Then after checking in at the main office to get your schedule and a slip of paper that needs to be signed by every teacher before being turned in at the end of the day, the day starts off exactly as you expected.

Every stare is immediately on you as you park your car, the murmurs starting as soon as you exit. Glancing around, unimpressed, you put your arms through the straps of your backpack and secure it snugly to you. Then pulling up the hood of your jacket, you head straight for the double doors.

Only halfway there, a student jumps out in front of you and snaps a picture of you. "You're Y/N Y/L/N," he grins, fiddling with his camera. "I'm Eric Yorkie, the eyes and ears of this place."

"Cool," you deadpan.

"Anything you need?" He then asks, clearly excited to be talking to you. "Tour guide, lunch date, a shoulder to cry on?" You can only blink in response and he readily continues on. "I'm on the paper and you're news, baby. Front page."

The clearly excitable and gossip go-to are people you tend to steer clear of, but something about this boy has you cracking a grin. He takes notice, practically shaking with excitement. "So long as you never call me baby again, I'll let you run whatever story you come up with."

"Yes!"

"And you have to dial down the eagerness from about a thirteen to a three. Take a breath, dude. I'm not that interesting."

"Nice." He tries so hard to seem cool and collected, but it's clearly not working. "Can I use that as a headline."

"Whatever." Eric keeps staring, almost like an eager puppy, and you sigh. "I'm gonna go. I want to acquaint myself with my locker and make sure I know how to follow this map. See you at lunch with those questions you no doubt are going to ask for that paper of yours." He seems like he's going to ask you something else, but you make a quick escape and leave him behind.

Finding your locker is fairly easy so long as you follow the numbers, but it's the classes that are a bit tricky. You're used to having all the classes in one building, either upstairs or downstairs, but the classes here are located in various buildings that make up the entire school.

You're not sure exactly sure which exit to take to find building E since apparently one side of the map ended up being cut off, so you walk up to the first couple you see standing by their lockers. The guy is pretty burly and the girl is ridiculously pretty for being a high school teenager. "Hey," the two teens tense, but you pay it no mind, "sorry to bother you, but can you tell me which way to go for building E? My map was cut off," you explain while showing them said map.

The burly boy blinks owlishly at you and the girl glares, but the only thing that pops into your head is that they have the most exotic eyes you've ever seen. "Oh. Uh sure." The boy takes the map from you, turning around to place it against a locker and finishes the map for you. As he hands it back, he says, "Just keep walking straight and take a left. Building E is that way."

You offer him a tired smile in return. "Thank you." Then glancing at the girl, your gaze falls to her feet. "Huh. Nice boots." Her glare softens, but you don't see it before you take your leave.

Classes then proceed to go exactly as expected, you getting your slip of paper signed before each class and then giving your name, the place you moved from, and a random fact for each teacher that asks you to introduce yourself to the class.

Lunch rolls around and you find an empty table, happily setting your tray down and tearing your hamburger to bite size pieces before eating them. That's where Eric finds you, Angela Weber in tow. The girl is someone you're most likely to befriend with her soft spoken nature and laid back personality. They ask questions about where you've moved from, your family, and your hobbies. You easily answer them, tossing in a crass joke or two that has Angela snorting milk from her nose and Eric taking a picture of the aftermath as you smirk at the poor girl.

Lauren, Tyler, Mike, and Jessica make their appearance at your table then, and you immediately dislike them. They're loud, rude, and obnoxious. The girls clearly have jealousy issues of some sort and the boys are only interested in what your dating life is like. But through them you learn about the Cullen clan.

"Oh my god," Jessica suddenly muses. "Don't look now, but Alice Cullen is staring at you!"

You frown when you realize she's addressing you. "Who?"

"Alice Cullen? Don't you know who they are by now?!"

"Uh no?"

Lauren smirks, leaning forward in her seat as if she's preparing to tell you the juiciest piece of gossip. "The Cullen and Hale twins are pretty much royalty around here, even if they don't give anyone the time of day." She gestures to the table in question and it's then you realize two of the so-called royalty are the couple you approached earlier that morning. "They've all been adopted by Dr. Cullen and his wife since she can't have any kids."

"Wow. Okay one, rude. All you had had to say was that Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted them. There is no need to tell anyone about Mrs. Cullen allegedly being infertile." Lauren, Jessica, and the boys gape at you, but Angela hides her smile behind her cup. "And two, why should it matter if they're staring? Are you really that starstruck over a bunch of teenagers?"

"B-Because they're the Cullen’s!" Jessica practically whisper shouts. "They're like together-together- Rosalie and Emmett, and Alice and Jasper- and they never pay attention to anyone, and- oh god, now Edward is looking over here!"

Jessica is on the verge of swooning and you roll your eyes, sighing. "Jesus Christ," you mutter. "You really need to pull yourself together. They're kids like you and I, albeit better looking, but still kids nonetheless. It's like you're desperate for their attention."

"Well yeah," Lauren scoffs. "You should feel lucky they're even looking in your direction."

"Gross," you utter. Jessica and Lauren are now looking at you in disbelief and annoyance, and the boys have clearly busied themselves with gossip of their own when the Cullen’s were mentioned. Lightly clearing your throat, you stand up and pick up your tray. "Well it was nice talking to you, Eric and Angela. I'll see you around. Maybe."

You dump your tray and then make your way out of the cafeteria building, easily finding your next class since Emmett Cullen had fixed your map. You then proceed to have a class with Edward Cullen- he nodding in greeting when you catch his gaze, a nod which you return- and a class with Alice Cullen who is practically bouncing in her seat when the teacher sits you next to her. She's a little too perky for your likes, so you merely grin before immediately pulling out your spiral notebook and taking notes from the board.

Your last class of the day is your history class which you end up sitting next to Jasper Hale. He's very tense and quiet, and seems both interested yet terrified of your presence, so you don't pay him much mind after nodding at him when you take your seat.

All in all, your classes are decent and you've literally only spoken to one person in the entire that you can find yourself wanting to spend time with outside of school. Angela.

It doesn't take long for the teens of Forks High to realize you're not afraid to speak your mind when they annoy you, and you found yourself only ever seeking out Angela. And out of all the Cullen’s it's Alice who seemed most interested in befriending you, but you weren't really interested. You were polite when she approached you, but you never really offered to hang out with her or take her up on her offer to go shopping. And while every other student found it offensive that you've turned her down, her family found it rather amusing.

Jasper eventually slightly warmed up to you since your teacher had partnered you up with him for a project, so you found it rather easy explaining to him that you weren't really the type of girl Alice needed in her life. He chuckled at your explanation of cheery people not being your cup of tea, but that you didn't have the heart to tell Alice yourself, and promised to let her down easy for you. You sighed in relief, thanked him, and then got back to taking notes.

Fortunately for you, Bella Swan came to Forks and Alice found a new girl to set her attention on.

It's the weekend, and you and your mom are feeling up to spending a day on the beach. And since it's chilly out, your mom makes a few phone calls to La Push to make sure that you won't be getting in trouble if you were to make a fire on the beach. So after purchasing a small shovel and some easy to light wood that would keep your fire going, she drives the two of you down to La Push Beach.

You find the perfect place to have your fire, next to a rather large piece of driftwood that appears as if it'd make the perfect backrest. You dig a shallow hole while your mom makes a teepee of wood before lighting it, and then the two of you plop yourselves down and just breathe in the salty ocean air.

"So how are you liking school, darling?" Your mom asks as she pulls forward a bag of snacks and drinks. "We haven't really had time to sit and talk."

You shrug. "School is school. Met a few people I can actually call friends."

"That's wonderful!"

"But I also made more enemies, so.."

"Y/N," she groans and you laugh. Eventually she grins at you. "What'd they do?"

"They were either too chipper for me to handle or they let their insecurities get the better of them which turned them into snarky assholes."

"Anything in particular you didn't like?"

"Oh. Loads," you say, "but I would rather not get into it. It's done and over with, and I'm perfectly fine with having Angela and Jasper as my only go-to friends."

"If you say so."

"I do. How's the hospital?"

"Oh I love it," your mom suddenly gushes. "I honestly think this might be the place we finally settle down. The only complaint I have about the hospital is that the staff is ridiculously obsessed with Dr. Cullen and his good looks."

You snort. "Seriously? Everyone at school, some teachers included, are freakishly obsessed with Dr. Cullen's adopted children."

Your mom giggles. "Are they pretty too?"

"Very pretty," you sigh. "I'm on pretty decent terms with all of them. Jasper, however, is the only one I tend to seek out if I'm in need of sitting in silence with someone. He's quiet, but he's got a wicked sense of humor when he's comfortable enough to show it."

"Oohh. Do I sense a future boyfriend?"

"Oohh," you tease back, "no." Your mom frowns and you laugh. "Dr. Cullen's children are all seeing each other," you then admit. "Jasper and Rosalie Hale are Mrs. Cullen's niece and nephew, and Edward, Alice, and Emmett were adopted by Dr. Cullen. Jasper and Alice are dating, as are Rosalie and Emmett. Edward's got this weird thing going on with the other new girl Bella."

"Oh. Um that's a bit-"

"Weird? I mean yeah, but they're not actually related so it's legal. I think." You chuckle, shaking your head and tossing a pringle at your mom.

The two of you lapse into silence, you eventually retrieving your polaroid camera from the car to take a few pictures. You both decide to dip your feet into the ocean water, squealing not even a second later when it proves to be too cold. Then when you and your mom have finally had enough of the beach for the day, she starts gathering your trash while you prepare to turn out the fire.

But before you can throw the first batch of sand on it, a voice calls out to stall you. "Wait! If you're done with the fire, do you mind if my fiancée and I use it?"

You turn around to find a rather tall, muscular and tan individual. The woman at his side barely comes up to his shoulders and she smiles timidly, her hair hiding some pretty fresh facial scars. "Not at all." You dump the sand off your shovel, smiling in greeting. "We just put some wood on, so it should still burn for a bit."

The man smiles. "I'm Sam. This is Emily." The woman waves, a wave which you return.

"Y/N. And the crazy lady who has yet to speak up is my mom [enter mom's name here]."

"Hey!" You smirk, glancing over your shoulder as your mom joins you. "I'm not that crazy." She winks as she joins you, introducing herself to Sam and Emily.

"So you guys new to town?" Sam wonders.

"To Forks," she says.

"Yeah. We moved here about two months ago now. But I love the beach, so we decided to make a day of it." Sam and Emily nod in understanding. "But we should be going now. You guys have a fire to enjoy. It was nice meeting you."

"You as well," Emily softly says. "I hope we run into each other again."

"You will," your mom says. "I swear Y/N was a mermaid in another life. She loves the ocean."

"Either that or a wild animal. I'm kind of drawn to the forests around here. It's.. peaceful."

"They can be," Sam says, "but they can also be very dangerous. If you go hiking, go with a friend. A group is better."

"Duly noted, my dude."

"And on that note," your mom says, "we really should be going. Hope you two have a nice night."

"You as well," Sam replies as you and your mom take your leave.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months.

Your friendship with Angela had ended up leading you to being introduced to Bella, and you surprisingly found yourself with someone else you could call a friend. She doesn't tend to gossip or talk about anyone's insecurities, and she somehow manages to pick up on your moods pretty well. So when your mom can't make it to your beach trips, you tend to take Bella and/or Angela.

And on the days you go alone to the beach or your with your mom, Sam and/or Emily manage to find you.

The start of your Senior year is exciting and you're already looking forward to graduation. But not even two months into your Senior year, the Cullen’s decide to move away. You're sad to see Jasper go, but you completely understand and tell him and Alice to send postcards or knick knacks from wherever they make stops at. Healing crystals are your favorite just because they're pretty and you like to line them on your shelves, and Alice promises to send some really pretty ones.

Bella, however, seems to take their absence really hard. No amount of talking to her helps, so you give her some space. And in distancing yourself, you find yourself visiting La Push Beach more and more, and spending time with Emily.

It's there with Emily that you first meet Paul Lahote, Sam's newest friend.

"Hey Em, Paul and I are going to grill some burgers. You need anything from the market?"

"No, honey. I'm good."

"Y/N?"

Looking up from the crackling fire, you say, "Yes, Samuel?" Sam's friend snorts and you turn glittering eyes on him. "Hi. I'm Y/N."

Sam's friend looks right at you, his posture and expression going lax by the second. Your expression falters, even as you do your best to keep up a smile. Sam notices, frowns, and then smothers laughter as he elbows his friend. "Oh. Um, I'm Paul."

"Nice." You look back at Sam, grinning. "Can you bring some hot Cheetos?"

"Sure thing." Paul seems perfectly content looking at you, so Sam has to grasp him by the shoulder. "Let's go, Lahote. If Y/N doesn't get her hot Cheetos soon, she'll get cranky."

You don't deny his statement, only grinning wider and shrugging a shoulder. Paul huffs a laugh, but joins Sam, and you refocus your attention on Emily who's smiling a little too wide. "What?"

"So Paul, huh? Was it just me or did he seem a little too interested?"

You roll your eyes, chuckling. "Do all Quileute boys look like that? Because if so, I'm in trouble."

"I'm surprised you didn't bite his head off for staring."

"It's La Push, Em, I'm telling you," you chuckle. "There's just something about this place that makes me feel at peace. I feel.. connected almost, if that makes any sense."

"It does," she grins knowingly. "Believe me, it does."

Eventually Sam and Paul return to Emily entertaining you with changing the color of the fire by tossing driftwood into it, and they grill up some burgers on a small portable grilling pit. Sam and Emily are side-by-side, laughing as you suck in air between clenched teeth because you ate too many hot cheetos yet again. Nearby, Paul looks torn between laughing or getting you something to drink.

You can't explain it, but you immediately get on with Paul. He's talkative, which normally annoys you, but you find yourself relaxed around him. He's sort of a touchy-feely person, but you don't mind and even relax when he sits next to you and slings an arm around your shoulders when you end up laughing a little too hard at one of your own jokes. You don't see it, but Sam and Emily stare at you and Paul with fond expressions.

The night soon comes to an end and you leave the beach with a few new polaroids to hang on your wall, some of which you having departed with because Emily and Paul wanted them.

Another few weeks pass which leaves you looking forward to Christmas vacation after the shit day you've had at school. Your mom's already been informed of the altercation which took place, and after spending all day in In-School-Suspension since she couldn't leave work to pick you up you're more than ready to go home and nap the rest of the day away.

However, when you get home, you're all too aware of the grumpy mood you're slipping into when you're left alone with your thoughts. You feel mentally drained, you wish you didn't, and all you want to do is get away. So after tossing and turning in the comfort of your bed, you grab your cell phone which was lying next to you and scroll down to Emily's name.

The phone rings a couple of times before she picks up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Em, you busy?"

"Not at all. How are you?"

You gulp. "I've been better. Today was a shit day and I just- I need to get out. You busy this weekend?"

"Nope. What did you have in mind?" She chuckles.

"It sounds pretty juvenile," you say, "but I was wondering if you were interested in a girl's weekend? Starting tonight preferably? Obviously Sam will be there because we'll be at your house, but I much rather deal with you and him than anyone here in Forks."

"That sounds wonderful," she says. "Will your mom be okay with that?"

"Yeah. She understands how I get sometimes and she'll be happy that I'm taking the initiative to put myself in a positive atmosphere rather than sulking over what happened for the next three days."

"That bad, huh?"

"Not necessarily."

"Tell you what. Paul is actually in Forks on a job for Sam. I can call him and have him pick you up if you want to leave the car with your mom."

"That sounds perfect, Em. Thank you. I'll call my mom right now to let her know what the plan is."

"Okay. See you soon."

After hanging up with Emily, you call your mom. You tell her that you need a breather and that Emily's offered to let you spend the weekend with her starting tonight. Your mom agrees to the plan and assures you that she has a ride home after work so she doesn't need you to wait for her to get out or for you to drop the car off.

Your mom ends up keeping you on the phone a little longer than expected to talk about what went down at school, so you've only just hung up with her and made it downstairs to the hall closet to search for a duffel bag when there's a knock on the front door.

Opening the door, you're met with a rather sheepish Paul. "Hey, Lahote. You got here fast."

"Yeah. I was already done with my errand when Em called."

"Oh good. I haven't packed my bag yet, so come on in."

Paul enters your house and you shut the door behind him. "Emily mentioned a girl's weekend starting tonight. Don't you have school tomorrow?"

"Yeah about that," you chuckle nervously as you lead him upstairs, "I'm actually suspended tomorrow and have been instructed to cool off over the weekend."

"Suspended?" Paul snorts. "What the hell did you do?"

"Shoes off at the top step or you wait there," you quickly inform him. "The whole top floor is carpeted and I don't like shoes on the carpet." Paul hesitates, but he kicks off his shoes in the end. "And I might have punched Bella Swan."

Paul barks out a quick laugh as he follows you. "What did Bella Swan ever do to you?"

The whole upstairs level is a loft which your mom gladly let you have and you've fixed it to your liking so you're not hesitant to let anyone see it. You move to your dressers to grab three sets of comfortable clothes to lounge around in, underwear, and then grab a pair of jeans from your closet. "She, uh, she's been hanging out with that Jacob Black kid that keeps going on and on about Sam being in a cult," you say while setting your clothes into the duffel bag.

You walk over to your bathroom, quickly grabbing your toiletries and carrying them out to drop on your bed. "I don't know how she knows we hang out, but she had the goddamn nerve to tell me that I needed to stop hanging out with you because you and Sam were bad news. I laughed it off at first because she's a friend, but she kept pushing and I just- I snapped."

You plop down on your bed and when you look up, you find Paul standing in front of your book shelf which houses only two shelves of books while your healing crystals take up one shelf and geodes of various colors on another. "You really like rocks, don't you?"

You shrug. "They're pretty and most of those are from a friend who just moved away. I don't actually believe they have healing abilities, I just like the aesthetic of it all." Paul picks a couple up, examining them. "I was gonna learn how to make a necklace with some of the smaller ones, but then I got lazy. Maybe I'll learn soon."

As Paul moves on from the crystals to standing in front of the polaroids stuck to your wall, you smile and fix the contents of your bag. "Sam and Emily are in a lot of these," he says while grinning over his shoulder.

"Because I like them. It feels like I've known them for ages rather than a few months." Just as you've pulled the blanket from your bed to fold and take with you, Paul plops down on the edge of the bed. "No, no, don't!" Paul freezes and then his eyes widen, and you sigh. "Don't you dare get comfortable, Lahote."

"Jesus Christ," he groans. "What is your bed made out of?" He scoots up your bed, laying back fully. "If we ever get to that point in our friendship where we have sleepovers, I'm definitely sleeping in your bed."

You snort. "Keep dreaming."

"Oh I will." You're thankful his eyes are closed because his words make you blush.

You quickly get yourself under control, and once you have everything Paul takes your bag while leaving you to take your blanket and pillow. He easily slides his feet back into his sneakers and you follow him downstairs where you put on your own shoes. Then outside, Paul opens the passenger door for you before handing you your bag.

"All set?"

"Yep. All set."

Paul shuts the door, smirking, and you roll your eyes at him as he saunters in front of the truck to get to the driver side door. He chuckles as he settles himself behind the steering wheel and your thoughts the entire way to La Push are centered around how screwed you are if Paul keeps up with the flirty behavior.

Thursday night at Sam and Emily's proved to be exactly what you needed. You had attempted to help her in the kitchen, but she pushed you into the living room to find something on tv. Sam and Paul had left to run some errands, so instead you made yourself comfortable at the kitchen table and kept Emily company while she cooked.

The boys had reappeared with a friend in tow, all shirtless and barefoot. You were introduced to Jared who couldn't stop smirking at you and Paul, and you only had to threaten him once when he made a crass joke directed at you. It almost sounded like a growl had come from Paul, but Emily had distracted you soon after.

When Sam and Emily had found out why you didn't have school on Friday, they seemed rather amused but it was Emily who had lightly scolded you about violence not being the answer. You assured her you knew and that your mom had already gotten on your case about it, and then proceeded to help Emily around the house and do a bit of grocery shopping since it seemed she fed not only Sam, but also Paul and Jared. Then Friday night you and Emily watched movies as the boys ran some more errands, and the two of you barely complained when the boys crashed it.

Saturday morning, you and Emily had been making some breakfast when Paul showed up. He had greeted Emily with a kiss to her cheek and when he turned to you, you raised an eyebrow at him. He had huffed, but gave you a brief side-hug before joining Sam at the table. Then just as you were taking the coffee to the table, a heart stopping howl had ripped through the air. You shuddered, Sam and Paul perked up, and Emily attempted to distract you.

But before she could, Sam spoke up. "There's nothing to be scared of. The wolves don't go anywhere near our homes."

You had startled at the hand Emily laid on your shoulder and then realized you had frozen when you heard the howl. "Oh. I'm not scared." You had set the coffee down and then took a seat. "I actually like wolves. I just never heard one outside of a wolf sanctuary."

Paul choked on his bite of food. "W-Wolf sanctuary? You've been to one of those."

"Yeah." You had started to make yourself a plate when you explained. "When I was younger, I was really obsessed with wolves. Before my dad passed, he would take me every summer to the sanctuary. I visited so much that one wolf in particular remembered me. She would knock me down to greet me and then follow me around for as long as I was there."

Not long after you had shared that memory, Jared rushed in through the back door and Emily made him sit to have breakfast before he whisked Sam and Paul away. Then before Sam had left, he had told you and Emily to dress warm because there was a bonfire with Quileute Elders that he had wanted you to attend later that night. Paul had become apprehensive at that, but your interest had been piqued immediately.

Then later that night after you had dressed warm for the beach, Sam had driven you and Emily. Paul was waiting for you at the beach and you noticed he seemed almost nervous, so when he reached for your hand you let him take it without a word. There were a handful of people on the beach, sitting around a fire, and you smiled and shook hands with everyone Paul introduced you to.

Eventually, Harry Clearwater called for everyone's attention. He spoke of the Quileute legends- of the men long before their time and spirit warriors who chased away threats. Everyone listening was hanging off his every word, and you found yourself enthralled with the tale of the Cold Ones and the Quileutes magically shifting into wolves who hunted the Cold Ones down after one slaughtered half their village. He spun a beautiful tale that you left shivering when a woman sacrificed herself for her husband and something about the somber atmosphere afterward left you feeling off. It was almost as if everyone present believed in the legends.

Harry went on to explain that the Quileute legends were passed down from generation to generation, and that it was of the utmost importance no outsiders hear them. And that- that confused you because you were the very definition of an outsider. Yet it also didn't slip your mind that everyone you had met welcomed you with warm smiles.

Back at Sam and Emily's, Emily has instructed you, Sam, and Paul to take a seat at the table while she whisks up some hot chocolate.

But your earlier thoughts are still sticking with you. "Not that I don't appreciate being invited out tonight, but why was I?" You hesitantly ask. "I'm clearly not of Quileute blood."

Paul's gaze immediately darts to Sam. He and Paul share a look, the elder man nodding. Paul promptly stands and heads out the back door, and you frown as you watch him go. "Special circumstances made it so that we were able to bring in you in on the secret."

"Secret?" You wonder. "Your legends are really that secretive?"

"They have to be," Emily carefully explains as she makes her way back to the table, hot chocolate forgotten. "If not, the wolves would be hunted down."

"The wolves?" You quirk an eyebrow, grinning, but your amusement falters when a howl pierces the air. You gulp and your eyes immediately dart to the back door. "That was a coincidence."

Another howl echoes back. "Should someone go get Paul? That sounded awfully close."

Emily smiles sadly and you find yourself climbing to your feet to follow after her. Sam follows behind and you can't help the sharp inhale when a large gray wolf stands in their backyard. "That's no normal wolf," you mutter, shocked at the sheer size of it.

The wolf seems antsy, whining as it shifts it's weight from front paw to front paw. You can't take your eyes off it, nor it you, and you find your chest aching with how hard and fast your heart is pumping.

"The wolves protect our lands from the Cold Ones. Vampires," Sam says and you flinch, startled. "The Quileute legends were just that- legends that we were told growing up. But then a coven of Cold Ones settled in Forks and their proximity started to trigger our shapeshifting abilities."

"O-Our?"

Sam smiles sadly before walking off the porch and towards the gray wolf. Your eyes widen and you reach out for him, but Emily pulls you back. "It's okay," she tells you. "Watch."

From one moment to the next, Sam bursts out of his clothes and in his place is an even larger black wolf. You choke back a sob, your mind trying to wrap around what it is you're seeing. Emily tucks you under one of her arms, but you hold yourself tense. "I- I don't- what?"

"They're our protectors."

"But- but how?" You shakily point at Sam, then towards the gray wolf. "And who?"

Emily squeezes you a little closer. "I think you know who, sweetheart."

The gray wolf whines and takes a step closer, but the black wolf lowly growls at him. Your mind is going a mile minute and part of you is wanting to go searching for Paul. But surely if Paul had heard the howl, he'd have come back or called or something. And then it clicks. "Paul?" the wolf whines louder and lowers itself to its belly. You exhale harshly, breath stuttering as you try not to freak out. "I- I need-"

"Shh," Emily shushes you. "Let's get you back inside and-"

"Home. I need to go home," you say as you start walking backwards. The gray wolf whines louder, standing up and running towards the woods. The black wolf watches him go before looking back at you and Emily, huffing once before sprinting after the wolf himself.

"Come on, Y/N. I'll get you home."

You collect your belongings in a daze, meeting Emily by the kitchen. She smiles sadly at you, a smile which you return, and you follow after her to Sam's truck. Just as you've set your bag and blanket down, and are about to hop into the truck, a heart shattering howl rips through the air. You freeze and turn towards the woods, your heart aching at the sorrowful howl.

The drive is silent with the exception of the static-filled airwaves and all too soon Emily is parking outside your house. Your house is empty with your mom being at work, so you're in no rush to get out and Emily is in no rush to kick you out.

The seconds seem to drag on until eventually you ask the question that's been nagging you since Sam let the wolf out of the bag. "Why me?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why me, Em?" You sigh and turn in your seat to stare at the woman. "What were the special circumstances that Sam deemed it appropriate for me to know all this?"

She fidgets in her seat. "This is something you should be really talking to Paul about, Y/N."

"But I'm asking you. I don't- I need time. But I also need to know why you guys let an outsider in when it's clear outsiders aren't welcome."

You stare at Emily long enough that she finally caves. "The wolves have something that they call Imprints. Long story short, imprints are the wolves' soulmates. They live, they breathe, and they'll do anything for this one person."

"Okay..?"

"I am Sam's imprint," she breathes out a little too quickly, "and you-"

"And me?" You ask when she trails off. She looks at you, almost as if pleading with her eyes to not make her say it. Your chest aches with realization. "And I'm whose? Paul's?" At her hesitant nod it's like all the air is sucked from your lungs. Your eyes tear up and a noise that's a mixture between a laugh and sob escapes you. Emily continues to stare and you shake your head, sniffling. "I think I should go."

"Y/N."

"Please don't," you mutter. "This is a lot to take in and I just need-"

"Time," Emily finishes. "I understand."

As you grab your blanket and pillow a little tighter in one arm, you grab the strap of your duffel bag with the other. Getting out, you then stand by the opened door. "I'll talk to you soon, Em. I will," you assure her. "I just need to sleep on it."

Just as you're getting ready to shut the door, Emily stops you. "I know it's a lot to take in. Believe me, I know," she huffs a laugh. "And when you come back around, remind me to tell you all about how Sam and I first started out."

"Do you- would you mind telling me now?" You meekly ask. "My mom will still be gone for a few more hours and in all honesty I would rather learn of everything from a fellow imprint."

"A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then. I'll just call and leave a message for Sam."

Shapeshifting wolves, Imprints, and Cold Ones. It's a lot to take in, especially learning just who the Forks coven was, but a lot easier to digest coming from Emily. Hers and Sam's story was heartbreaking, but watching the love and affection she held for him eased your mind and heart some.

You had Sunday all to yourself, not doing anything at all but lounging in bed and watching the cheesiest rom-coms you could find on tv. Your mom had lured you downstairs with some meatloaf and gravy, and then you had proceeded to shower and get in bed early for school the next morning.

Monday morning had a good morning text and an apology from Paul, and you did your best to pay attention in school. People were still talking about how Bella got her black eye, but they were let down when you and Bella ran into one another and all you did was nod before moving on. She was still in a slump since the Cullen's departure and it took everything in you to keep from telling her you knew about the Cold Ones. But you figured in doing so, she'd want to know how you found out and you couldn't tell her about the wolves. So you kept quiet and tried to figure out exactly what you were going to do about Paul.

Emily had explained that the relationship between a wolf and his imprint wasn't necessarily romantic, but more often than not that's how it usually played out. She tried her best to not persuade you into anything, so you assured her she had nothing to worry about. Things between you and Paul weren't exactly normal, but you were comfortable enough with whatever you and him had going on.

Then by Monday night the loneliness started to kick in and you couldn't hold back for much longer. So Tuesday morning, after dropping your mom off at work, you decide to skip school and head down to La Push.

It's not long before you're parking in front of Emily's house. You've only walked up the steps when the screen door opens and Paul steps out. His expression is stoic, hands tucked into the front pockets of his jean shorts.

"Can we- can we go for a walk?" You ask. Paul nods and you turn to head back down the steps. He follows after you and you cross your arms over your chest as the two of you walk down the road. "So wolves," you drawl. "And imprints."

Paul huffs, smothering his amusement. "Yep. Emily told us she told you everything."

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I just figured it'd be easier to hear from her rather than anyone else." You kick a stray rock, sighing.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Hmm? Oh. No. I just wanted to see you."

Paul stops and you continue a few steps more before turning around to face him. When you meet his gaze, you roll your eyes at his smug expression. "So you're not going to freak out?"

"That's what Sunday was for," you tell him. "And then I moped around a bit on Monday and caved this morning."

"So what are-"

"We?" You finish for him. He nods. "I'm not sure. I was just hoping we would take it day by day. If something happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. So what do you say?" You ask, holding a hand out for him.

He glances at your hand, grinning. "Sure. Why not." Taking up your hand, you and Paul then head back towards Emily's.

Christmas came and went, you spending the day with your mom since she had the day off. Then New Years came and you spent the day on the Rez since your mom had to work. You learn about the pack dynamics since more wolves had started to phase and then raised the question about why they were phasing if the Cullen coven had moved away. It was Paul who reluctantly admitted that they didn't know why.

Then Jacob Black joined the pack and Bella fell back down the slippery slope into a state of depression. But something about this time around seemed different and you just knew it was going to be bad. And sure enough you were right. Mostly.

You're finishing up an English essay when the doorbell rings. You ignore it since your mom is downstairs, grinning when you hear her greet Paul. She had met him on Christmas Eve and if you hadn't called dibs, you were pretty sure she would have jokingly tried. Your mom stalls Paul for just a little while and then you hear him climbing the stairs just as you cross your last t's and dot your last i's.

"Hey there, smarty pants."

You smile and close your binder, capping your pen and turning in your seat. "Hey, wolf boy. Done with patrol?"

"Yeah. Sam gave me the night to cool off."

"Cool off?" Paul sheepishly pads barefoot over to your bed, falling in and scooting towards the wall. You get up, clicking off your desk lamp and plugging in the fairy lights above your bed. "What did you do?" You ask, falling into bed right next to him.

"Black got around Sam's gag order and that leech lover of his found out about us."

"Leech lov- Bella? Bella knows about the Quileutes?" You ask, eyes wide and voice lowered.

"Yep." You finally settle down, head pillowed on his outstretched arm while you drape an arm across his abdomen. "Bella punched me and-"

"She punched you?!"

"Yes." He chuckles at your outrage. "And I shifted in front of her. Jacob and I got into a fight, and Bella was let in on everything. Turns out that redheaded leech is after her because her leech killed her mate and now she wants to return the favor."

"Jesus Christ," you groan. "Bella's a magnet for them."

"Yeah. So until we get a handle on the situation, please be careful. Don't do any unnecessary wandering in the woods and definitely don't go anywhere with Bella fuckin' Swan."

You snuggle deeper into him, snorting. "Aye, aye, captain. You staying the night?"

"Yeah. Your mom wants the car in the morning because she has to pick up a friend. I'm taking you to school and picking you up."

"Sounds good."

And within minutes, with Paul idly tracing patterns on your back, you're fast asleep.

Waking up the following morning, however, is a lot harder when Paul's cuddling you. You have to drag yourself out from under his arm and then grumble unflattering words at him as he snuggles down with your pillow while you get ready for school.

There's coffee waiting for you downstairs courtesy of your mom and a note of thanks from her to Paul for not defiling you under her roof while she was sleeping downstairs. Paul's cheeks turn red and you giggled the entire drive to school.

The staring reminds you of your first day of school, but this time it's because of Paul. You roll your eyes at the females who seem a little too interested and scoff at Mike and Tyler who frown as you pass by. One stare in particular, however, catches your attention.

"You can let me out here," you say. "I wanna talk to Bella real quick."

"About?"

"Girl stuff." You grin at Paul, quickly rattling off the time you get out of school. Then when you hop out, you make your way towards Bella who's standing by her red monstrosity of a truck. "So I hear you learned about the boys on the Rez."

She blinks owlishly before jerking her head in a nod. "Yeah. You knew?"

"Yep. Since before Christmas."

She frowns. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Excuse me?" The nerve of this girl really grates on your nerves and your hand tightens its grip on the strap of your backpack. "Because it wasn't any of your business." She opens her mouth to no doubt explain her right in knowing, but she wisely shuts her mouth right away when she notices your white knuckled grip. "A word of advice, Bells, you touch Paul again and I'll blacken your other eye. Are we clear?"

Her eyes widen and when you quirk an eyebrow at her, she gulps and quickly nods. "Y-Yeah. Crystal."

"Good. Now let's get to class."

When you turn around, your curse under your breath when you realize Paul is still sitting there in his truck. He's smirking right at you and you just know he's heard what you told Bella. So after quickly flipping him off and grinning when you hear Bella snort in amusement, you and your sometimes friend head towards the school buildings.

You do your best to tune out those who would call themselves your friend, ignoring the questions about your mysterious morning companion. Bella, when around, had smirked through it all and only shrugged when the questions were then directed at her, she only telling them he was a guy from La Push.

Then when school lets out, you and Angela are walking side by side. She's going on about an upcoming article she's going to write when Paul catches your attention, he leaning on the tailgate of his truck. But when he catches sight of you, he pushes off and stalks towards you. You grin, Angela trails off when she realizes you're no longer paying her any attention, and Paul smirks just as he comes toe to toe with you.

"What are you doing, Lah-" Hands cup your jaw and feverish lips press against yours. You gasp before your eyes flutter shut, your hands grasping the front of his shirt as you lean up on the tips of your toes to press back against him. Angela giggles from beside you and you only pull back when a whistle pierces the air. You fall back so you're flat on your feet, gulping before licking your bottom lip. "So, uh, so we're doing that now, are we?"

"You started it when you threatened to blacken Swan's eye."

Angela snorts as you purse your lips to keep from laughing. "Whatever. Paul, this is Angela. Ang, this Paul. My.. Paul."

"Smooth," he chuckles, then glances at Angela and nods in greeting. "Hi. It's nice to meet one of Y/N's friends. She doesn't like to introduce me to any of them."

You punch his shoulder. "Not true. Most of my friends are your friends. Angela is the only one outside of La Push that I consider a friend and this is the first time you've literally come here. Don't be a dick."

Paul merely grins down at you, bringing you to his side and turning you so his arm drapes along the back of your shoulders. Angela smiles. "You two are adorable. No wonder none of the boys here caught your attention."

You roll your eyes, biting back a smile. "Yeah, yeah. This idiot had me hooked early on. No one in Forks even stood a chance."

"And on that note," Paul muses, far too smug, "we really should get going."

After telling your friend you'd see her tomorrow, you follow Paul to his truck where he proceeds to open the door for you. Then once he's settled behind the wheel and starts to carefully drive out of the school parking lot, he holds his right hand out in between you and you barely glance at it before grasping his hand with your own left. "So we're really doing this? No going back?"

He grins. "No going back."

#paul x reader #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote imagine #twilight imagine #new moon imagine #paul lahote #sam uley #emily young #angela weber #bella swan #twilight #new moon #fanficimagery #imagine

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devereauxsdisease · 3 years ago

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Fic Questions

I was tagged by @stronglyobsessed - and I needed a second to let my brain figure out something in a fic...so let’s do this.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

115

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

784,370 ... I’m guessing at least half are dick jokes.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Only two, really (Hannibal and OMG, Check Please!), but technically 5 if you count all the Hannibal HEU fics (Spacedogs, Tristhad)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Substitute (Hannigram)

You’ll Be the Death of Me (Hannigram)

The Long Weekend (Hannigram)

Space Invader (Spacedogs)

Green Card (Spacedogs)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with life stuff and I get behind, then I get into a shame spiral about being a horrible author that doesn’t deserve comments if she doesn’t respond to them. And look. I love comments. I thrive on them. But I usually end up fighting my brain trying to stay on top of answering them. If I haven’t responded to you - I’m sorry, and I’m grateful. I’m trying.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Um...I usually do angst with a happy ending? Because the world is angsty enough without my help. Still...I guess Echoes would be the top candidate. Though I do have an upcoming story that might take the title?

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

One of my favorite things to write is Spacedogs, so I think that counts. I’m working on a new-ish crossover I think is pretty fun, so we’ll see.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I’ve been exceptionally lucky, everyone in my comments section has been incredibly kind to me. If anyone hates on my fics, they’re doing it behind my back, which is polite. Hannibal would approve.

I did get someone who threatened to report me to the AO3 police because they didn’t like who bottomed in a fic, but no arrests were made and the charges were dropped.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

LOL when I started writing fics I swore I wouldn’t write smut. That lasted...six fics? So yeah, I write it in almost all my fics now. It’s usually smut with feelings, with shades of kink if it fits the story.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

There was a weird kerfuffle with Space Invader a while back, but I don’t think it was a steal. I don’t want to think that, anyway. That’s the only one I can think of.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few.

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

YES! I’ve done one with the wonderful @wrathofthestag and @chronicopheliac. I’ve done some collections with others too that were fun.

13) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Spacedogs. It just...absolutely shouldn’t work, and it always does. I love Nigel and Adam. And they somehow make things so much easier than Hanners and Will.

14) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I mean...there’s nothing published. I try not to post anything I haven’t absolutely finished writing. But...*glances at my To Write Files* there’s SO MANY on my hard drive. I really want to get around to writing about Hannibal showing up to a cookout in Maine and introducing Will and a totally oblivious Molly to his wife and son (and Will’s breakdown that ensues). But...I’d need to be a fulltime fic writer to devote the energy to that it deserves.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I really like my dialogue. I also think I’m funny.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m dyslexic so like...any of the formal rules/spellings catch me pretty quickly, especially if I’m writing fast.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve done it before. I try not to rely upon Google translate, and if I can, I’ll find a native speaker to help me. I think you have a responsibility to get it as right as possible - like setting a story in a foreign country. I want to think if a native speaker comes across my work, it won’t take them out of the story.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hannibal, on a dare from one of my favorite fandom people.

19) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Um...I love Feathers because it was just such a blast to write. The Long Weekend and Post-It were the hardest for me to write (there’s a lot of angst and some of it was personal), so I’m proudest of them.

Also Mongoose Day, because I still think it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever written.

Not sure how many to tag, but this was fun, so I’ll tag a few I think will play along: @wrathofthestag @tcbook @raiast and literally anyone else who wants an excuse to procrastinate!

#fic questions #Dev procrastinates #so many fics so little time

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aarcanechaoss · 3 years ago

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Runaway

Okay so I wrote something anyway love you guys :)

Meet Amaya Harlow noble and full time badass

“What do you think you are doing ungrateful child!” A slap echoed in the study. The man in question was Cristano Harlow, noble of the Clover Kingdom. “I keep you fed, I keep you clothed and you can’t do a simple thing for me? Your father!”

The man was in a rage, his fiery hair seemingly matching the flush on his cheeks as a second slap echoed.

“I’m sorry.” Amaya whispered through quiet anger.

“No you aren’t.” He spat before gripping at her hair. “You’ll keep your mouth shut, you will marry anyone I choose, better yet you’ll do anything I say. For example- if my business partner wants to see the merchandise you’ll let him see it…. Understood.”

“Yes sir.”

Grey eyes locked onto the wide fearful eyes of her younger brother- wondering if it would happen to him too. It wouldn’t. Cristano would never lay a hand on his son. His daughter however he slapped for simply answering a question in a way he didn’t like.

That was it. Amaya couldn’t handle it anymore she had to leave.

Once Cristano left Eren stepped towards his sister.

“Amaya?”

“I have to leave Eren.” She said softly. His stormy grey eyes locked with her silvery ones in confusion. “He won’t hurt you. He never has. I can’t live like this anymore.”

It hurt to hear his older sister sound so broken, weak, fragile. She was always boisterous and rowdy with him teaching him magic and sword play she even taught him archery considering that was the only thing their father would boast about her, his eldest child- her incredible archery skills. It was pathetic really that he didn’t see anything else worthy of being a Harlow.

“Where will you go?” He asked. He was only 13 while he understood her leaving he still wanted to know she’d be safe. Thirteen was when he had to start becoming a man his father told him. Amaya gently ruffled his auburn locks, the shade so much lighter than her bright scarlet ones.

“The magic knight entrance exams are soon. Maybe I can join a squad and keep out of fathers radar.” Eren’s eyes sparkled. The idea of his sister being a knight filled him with so much joy.

“Promise to write to me?”

“Always.”

It was only weeks later when she’d escaped and made her way to the capital. A silver locket pressed to her chest with her hand as she navigates through the busy streets towards the arena for the exam. The locket held a picture of Amaya and Eren, a good luck charm from the little wizard.

Next thing she knew she had a number and was waiting for the exam to begin. She pulled her cloak tighter against her for comfort. This might have been insane why did she think she could hide from the Harlow watchers like this? Becoming a magic knight… wouldn’t that put more eyes on her? No. She promised Eren.

The first test was basic, fly on a broom, she felt like a child standing so perfectly upon the old cleaning utensil high above the rest. She sniggered quietly watching people stagger and wobble beneath her.

Next was magic blasting? She had to blast magic at a wall. She wasn’t too sure about that considering blasts weren’t something she ever worked on. With a steady breath she allowed her grimoire to flutter, a new page being written, the royal blue covers seemed to glow happily at the new page making her smile. A small ball barely bigger than her palm appeared, a black spiral formed with what seemed like white sparkles. Her hand buzzed urging her to throw it. Without any beautiful movement she threw the orb hard at the wall tearing a hole clean through. She jumped a little in excitement before straightening herself out and walking towards the next test.

Moving targets. She held back her excitement. Technically there wasn’t anything against her using weapons as far as she was aware but she didn’t bring her bow but that didn’t mean she couldn’t make one out of magic…. Actually no she had something more fun up her sleeve. With a puff of her chest her grimoire came to life once more.

“Rain fall target lock.” With a tilt of her head a grey cloud seemed to form around her grimoire and with a crack rain water seemed to strike its mark with ease. She smiled again, pulling down her hood to hide the glee, that was always her favourite spell.

Time to create something with magic. Amaya’s nose scrunched she has no idea what to do that that task. She could bring over a small Thunder cloud, darken the arena, make it rain or make a shield or mist… that might be a good idea. With a quiet hum Amaya stepped forward hands seemingly just swaying through the air. The squad captains watched closely confused at the simple movement as the air began to still.

“Is she crazy or are we just not seeing what she is?” Jack asked, the captain of the green mantises. Amaya’s head snapped towards the captain making him furrow his brows- had she heard him?

“Excuse me?” Her voice carried towards one of the other examinees.

“Yes?”

“Sorry to bother you could you do me a favour and blast some magic at me. I can create mist shields and well it’s a bit hard to see as you can… well see.” Amaya shrugged. The other mage squinted at the slightly hazy orb just barely visible. They nod. Magic water swirling in their palms.

“Is she actually crazy what’s happening?” Jack asked again.

“She’s got balls is what.” Yami, the Black Bulls captain, laughed.

The mage’s magic swelled before blasting towards Amaya who stood perfectly still. The captains and those watching nearby held their breath only to see a spray of mist swell around her the water magic disappearing at a touch.

“It was a shield.” Amaya yelled out in conformation. Held breaths dissipated- okay she wasn’t crazy that’s good.

Next she needed to help a seed grow. She won’t lie that was very easy especially with magic that involves the rain. It bloomed into a beautiful blue rose, Amaya hummed happily as she held the rose up to be seen- Charlotte was more than impressed by this.

Finally. Amaya had been waiting for this a fight. A mage stood across from her, his magic seemingly water of some kind. Maybe snow she wasn’t sure. With a grin she took a step forward.

“Little missy thinks she’s tough just because she’s been doing so well so far.” He taunted. From the shade of her hood all he could see was the grin that split across her face. Taunting back she laughed lowly.

“Little man thinks he’s special with his pretty purple robes.” He flushed.

“Don’t mock me little girl.”

“Ouch that one hurt.” She snickered. Her tongue swiped across her teeth. “Are you going to fire first or just keep walking backwards?”

“You insolent child.” Within an instant her smile dropped and so did she beneath the shade of her grimoire which was left floating above her cloak. “Where did she go-“

“I’m right here.” She whispered into his ear. His eyes widened and head turned, she was behind him. But how? He wanted to yell. She had only seemed to have rain magic of some kind. “What did I scare you?” She laughed.

“No you lowly peasant. A mere slave like you could do no such thing. You vile rodent of a being.” He barked, trailing into insults many people chose to cover their ears for.

“People like you piss me off.” She spat before blasting him with her new found spell- though more subdued so as to not put a hole in him. He fell to the ground skidding away from his Grimoire. He looked up at her, long scarlet hair shadowing her face, silver grey eyes staring him down as he slowly lost consciousness. “Oops.”

With a yawn she waited her turn cloak now resting comfortably back on her shoulders. Her number should be soon she thinks. She’d heard before the exams began that two new squads had formed over the last few months, Black Bulls and Golden Dawn. Grey eyes scanned the Captains, she really hadn’t thought about who she’d like to join. Definitely not the Silver Eagle or the Grey Deer she wasn’t a fan of the Silva family and while she knows the Grey deer have a good reputation her father spoke of the captain highly so that’s a no. The Coral Peacock didn’t peak her interest and within the lack of feminine traits she has the one thing she got from her mum was at least a sense of fashion- so she wasn’t a fan of the colours sue her. Purple Orca’s also was a no her father was friends with their old captain. Blue Rose didn’t peak her interest, Charlotte was nice they’d met before but all girls meant she’d not be allowed to have fun- Uh yes because Char is a stickler for following rules. Yep. The Green Mantis just wasn’t up her ally she’d definitely butt heads with Jack knowing her personality when pissed off. Crimson Lions… the captain isn’t ugly… but again a stickler for rules and orders she might not get much freedom. The Black Bulls had Yami Sukehiro as its captain, many people in the nobles know of him as the foreigner that pisses off the Royals and such. She might get along with him if memory serves her right from the few times they met when she was sneaking out- doubtfully he’d remember that. Golden Dawn she new nothing about. She didn’t know the captain except that he was a noble and that he wore a mask at all times according to the crowds knowledge. She stared at him, drinking in his posture and movement. He was a kind man probably lenient if this is the first time he’s a captain.

She didn’t expect to see all hands but the fact that Nozel was the only ones who didn’t raise his hand made her smirk- so maybe he’d recognised her she couldn’t tell if that was good or bad.

“Golden Dawn.” She said before anyone else could.

“You’ll be the first person to-“

“”I said the squad I want to be in referee is that not what I was meant to say?” She asked. Her grey eyes stared up to look at her Captain who gave a genuinely kind smile.

“Well uh-“

“Welcome to The Golden Dawn you’ll be shown to your designated area by a guard.” William interjected. She nodded before walking off.

Yami whistled lowly to his friend.

“Can’t tell if you bagged an insane woman, an attractive woman or one that’ll fuck you over.” Yami joked.

“Now Yami don’t be crass.”

“Don’t deny her beauty I saw you watching her.”

“We all where.” William responded quickly.

“Sure sure.” Yami laughed.

William rolled his eyes, he could tell she’d make a great asset.

#black clover fluff #black clover #black clover angst #black clover oc #amaya harlow #william vangeance #yami sukehiro #wizard knight entrance exam

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timothyjimothy74 · 4 years ago

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Smirk Part 2 - Matthew Tkachuk ft. Brady Tkachuk

Part One

A/N: Thank you all for the love on part one!! It was my first fic so I was blown away so many of you seemed to like it. I decided to turn it into a series because I couldn’t help myself. I hope you love it!

Summary: It’s time for Y/N’s first chirp-filled family dinner with the Tkachuks where she gets to meet Taryn and Chantal.

Word Count: ~3,000

A few hours later, Y/N sat at home with her brother watching an NHL Network special with highlights from the season, but she couldn’t concentrate. Her mind kept wandering to Matthew. That infamous smirk was still stuck in Y/N’s mind. Then suddenly, as if the NHL Network could read her mind, a clip from a Battle of Alberta game played and she was watching him trade punches with Ethan Bear.

Y/N’s brother smiled at her from across the room knowingly. She blushed and silently wished she wouldn’t have told him who she met that day.

“When are you going to post that photo?” He asked for at least the 10th time that day.

“I think enough time has passed now that I can post it,” Y/N said.

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t post it right away. That’s what I would have done,” he said.

“I told you I didn’t want to come off creepy or too interested,” Y/N replied.

“Girls make no sense,” he replied and rolled his eyes.

Y/N went to her room so she could freak out in private, opened up Twitter and wrote, “Just a casual day out in St. Louis” and tagged Matthew and Brady. They liked it almost instantly, as if they were waiting for the notification. It only took a few minutes for the chirps to start in the comments.

Matthew Tkachuk @TKACHUKycheese_

Replying to @Y/T/H

Walt is STILL talking about how much cooler you are than me

brady tkachuk @BradyTkachuk71

Replying to @TKACHUKycheese and @Y/T/H

Oh whatever, we all know it’s you who won’t stop talking about her

Y/N liked both comments as she laughed to herself, thinking Brady was just joking as all the Tkachuks seemed to do. When she checked the rest of her notifications, she noticed that Brady had followed her just like he said he would. But another notification caught her off guard.

Matthew Tkachuk followed you

Y/N caught herself smiling for what seemed like the millionth time that day. She knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help it.

Her jaw dropped a few seconds later when she got another notification.

Brady Tkachuk

Matt really won’t shut up about you and my mom and sister really want to meet the girl that can out-chirp Matt ASAP. Wanna replace Matt at our family dinner Saturday night?

Y/N

Duh! Send me the details and I’ll be there.

Y/N’s thoughts started spiraling. He was really talking about her to his whole family? What did this mean? She didn’t have much time to freak out, though, because soon enough she received a message from another Tkachuk.

Matthew Tkachuk

Brady’s tweet was wrong, you know. I swear it’s my dad that’s been talking about you

Y/N

Oh, really? Because Brady just told me your mom and sister have heard all about me from you and are dying to meet me. I’m replacing you at dinner Saturday night

Matthew Tkachuk

…No one told me we were having family dinner Saturday night

Y/N

Exactly. Have fun stuck at home!

Matthew Tkachuk

We’ll see about that

While Y/N was getting a lot of enjoyment out of her childhood hero saying he liked her more than his own son, she did wish Matthew would be there Saturday too so she could see that smirk again in person, but she kept that part to herself.

_________

When Brady told Y/N they were going to Charlie Gitto’s, she swore her stomach growled in that moment. Two things filled her mind as she was getting ready Saturday: the toasted raviolis she would demolish and the small hope that Matthew would weasel his way into dinner anyway.

Either way, she was going to look good. Charlie Gitto’s wasn’t very fancy, but she still wasn’t sure what she should wear out to eat with the Tkachuks so she texted Brady, who had given her his number to discuss the details of family dinner easier. They fell into an easy friendly conversation and hadn’t stopped talking since.

Y/N

Can you ask Taryn what she’s wearing? I don’t want to overdress or underdress

Brady Tkachuk

Giving the phone to her as we speak

Hi, Y/N! I’m just wearing a yellow sundress and sandals. You can wear whatever you want though, I’m sure you’ll look great. I can’t wait to meet you!

Y/N

Thanks, Taryn!! I can’t wait to meet you too, sis!

Brady Tkachuk

Sista, sista!

This conversation definitely eased some of Y/N’s nervousness for the evening and she was able to enjoy getting ready. She danced around her room to her favorite Lady Gaga song as she curled her hair, put on some light makeup and put on a light blue sundress with multi-colored flowers and sandals.

As she drove to the restaurant, she started to get nervous again. Before when she was debating whether she should talk to the boys or not at Ted Drewes, she had nothing to lose if they said no. Now, she felt like she was becoming friends with Brady and she was nervous that Chantal wouldn’t like her. She was also nervous Matthew didn’t like her like she wanted him to, but she still didn’t want to admit that.

Y/N’s thoughts were interrupted as she heard her phone go off. She made sure she was parked safely before she even looked at it.

Brady Tkachuk

Hey, we just got here. You close?

Y/N

Just pulled in

Y/N scanned the parking lot for a second before she saw Brady running over to her car. He was opening her car door and pulling her in for a hug before she could even step out.

“Whoa, someone’s excited. What’s up with you?” Y/N asked cautiously.

“My mom felt bad for making Matthew stay home so she let him come to dinner. He has been getting on my nerves all day laughing because my plan failed so I have really been looking forward to you roasting him,” Brady explained.

Y/N tried to hide her excitement that Matthew was there by sharing a laugh with Brady. But she still had her concerns.

“Not that I don’t enjoy roasting Matthew, but I feel like me and you have become friends in the last few days and I’m afraid to do something that will make your mom not like me,” Y/N said quietly.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for Brady to laugh, but he did.

“Y/N/N, first of all, we are most definitely friends. Second, my mom can be protective over us, but Matthew gets on her nerves too. Literally no one we’ve ever met can roast him as hard as you do. He’s finally getting back what he dishes out and we live for it. Mom already loves you, you have nothing to worry about,” he replied, knowing just what to say to comfort her.

“Thanks, Brades. I needed to hear that,” Y/N said and sighed in relief, finally feeling better.

“Anytime. Now, let’s go. I’ve been waiting for this all day,” he said as he put his arm around her and almost ran towards the rest of the Tkachuks on the other side of the parking lot.

“Y/N!” Walt shouted as he saw you both approaching. Brady dropped his arm so Walt could hug her. “It’s nice to see you again,” he said with a huge smile on his face.

Y/N smiled back at him after the hug, but before she could even respond, Taryn was squealing and pulling her in for a hug. “HI, sis!” Y/N and Taryn shared a laugh.

“I’m happy to finally meet you, sis,” Y/N replied before it was Chantal’s turn for a hug.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said as she looked over at a slightly pink Matthew. Y/N looked at him briefly, but tried not to let her gaze linger. “I’m so glad to finally meet you,” she said with a genuine smile. “It’s nice to meet you too. Thank you for letting me intrude on your family dinner,” Y/N said with a smile.

“You’re not intruding, honey. We’re all happy to have you here,” she said with another pointed look at Matthew.

Y/N smiled. She felt herself become more relaxed for a second before she realized that everyone was glancing between her and Matthew.

“Y/N,” Matthew said her name formally as a way of greeting her and looked into her eyes.

“What, cat finally got your tongue after talking about me all week?” Y/N smirked at him, turned on her heel and headed for the restaurant. She could hear all the Tkachuks laughing at Matthew behind her. Damn, that felt good. The only thing Y/N enjoyed more than Matthew’s smirk was his pink cheeks after she teased him.

Dinner was better than what Y/N expected. The Tkachuks asked Y/N a lot of questions about her life, Matthew would try to chirp her, she would chirp him back even harder without even trying, everyone else would laugh and that would shut him up for about 10 minutes before he got the nerve to try to chirp her again. She never wanted it to end.

“Can we have a family game night tonight?” Taryn asked just as they were finishing up dessert, seemingly reading Y/N’s mind.

“Absolutely, we haven’t had one in forever,” Walt answered.

“Can Y/N/N come?” Brady asked.

Walt nodded, but Matthew spoke before he got the chance to respond outloud.

“If she wants to lose, she’s more than welcome to come,” Matthew said with his signature smirk.

But Y/N’s comeback rolled right off her tongue. “What, like you’re going to be able to concentrate enough to win anything with all the beer you’ve had?”

Matthew was about to argue with her, but Taryn could feel like he was going to say something mean and interrupted. “We always play Skip-Bo. Have you ever played?”

“Once or twice,” Y/N replied. Matthew laughed at this. So did Y/N, but for a different reason.

Brady, who was completely oblivious, said, “I’ll teach you. You can be on my team.”

“Thanks, Brades. It can’t be that hard if Matthew can do it,” Y/N chirped and gave Matthew a smirk. He looked back at Y/N and smiled just like he had the day they met at Ted Drewes. Y/N was so lost in his eyes that she missed the rest of the Tkachuk family laughing and patting her on the back for her latest chirp at Matthew.

Y/N looked back down at the piece of gooey butter cake sitting in front of her and tried to keep her thoughts from spinning.

Thankfully, Chantal piped up, “You’re more than welcome to spend the night after, Y/N. Our game nights usually last all night.”

“Yeah, you can stay in my room!” Taryn said excitedly.

“That would be great, thank you guys!” Y/N responded. “If someone wants to give me your address, I can take my car and meet you there.”

“Taryn and I will go with you and give you directions,” Brady said as Taryn’s face lit up.

“Well, they both have a terrible taste in music so you’ll need a good DJ on the way there. I can help you there” Matthew said. There was that smirk again. Although she liked it more than she wanted to admit, it was getting a little annoying. She had the sudden urge to wipe it off his face.

“You can come, but I’m giving the aux to Taryn,” Y/N replied, which earned a cheer from Taryn and an eye roll from Matthew.

After dinner was over, Y/N thanked Walt for paying for it and led the Tkachuk siblings to her car. Y/N got in first and expected Taryn to get in the passenger seat since she told everyone she was getting the aux, but Matthew appeared smiling next to her and Taryn got in the back seat, clearly annoyed. Y/N looked between the two of them, clearly confused.

“He pushed me out of the way. I fell and scraped my knee,” Taryn explained.

That’s all Y/N needed to know before she hit Matthew across the chest. “What is your damage, dude?”

Matthew put his hand over where she hit him and sighed dramatically. “She’s just being dramatic because she lost the race here and-” he tried to explain before Y/N cut him off.

“Apologize and switch seats with your sister or I swear to god, I will leave you at this restaurant and you can Uber home,” Y/N said as Brady and Taryn cheered.

Matthew turned around and glared at them both before switching seats with Taryn. “Listen, I’m really sorry, Taryn. I just wanted to play one song.”

“You’re so dramatic. Play your stupid song and then let Taryn have the aux. Now, someone please lead me to your house so we don’t stay in this parking lot all night,” Y/N sighed. Taryn started leading her to their house while Matthew tried to find the song he wanted to play.

When it started playing, Y/N thought her heart stopped beating. It was the very same Lady Gaga song she had listened to while she was dancing around her room earlier in the day. This felt like a sign. She tried to even her breathing so she could sing along quietly.

After the song ended, Brady said, “Out of all the songs in the world you could have picked, you pick You and I? That’s so lame, dude.”

He must have been oblivious to the fact that Y/N was singing along too, but something told her Matthew knew. She looked up at him in her rearview mirror and he looked back at her when he said, “It’s my favorite song.”

Nothing could hold back Y/N’s thoughts now. The way he had been looking at her all night, the way it took almost nothing for her to get his cheeks to turn pink, the way he played that freaking song. Did he like her?

Taryn played the Jonas Brothers and U sang along, trying to act like she was playing her favorite song in the world and that Matthew hadn’t just played it minutes ago.

As soon as she took two steps into the Tkachuk house, Walt was insisting on giving her the grand tour. Brady and Matthew followed when Walt took her downstairs to show her all the hockey memorabilia in the basement.

They hadn’t talked about hockey much yet, but Walt could tell she loved the game and was trying to hold back on the fangirling. He was proven correctly when he showed her his game-worn jersey from his last NHL game in 2010 and started to talk about how he played that day, but Y/N remembered.

“I actually went to that game with my family. We wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I remember you had two assists and the Blues won that day. I thought it was so cool that Brady, Taryn and Matthew went on the ice with you. I think it’s even cooler now that Brady and Matthew are in the NHL themselves.”

Even Walt didn’t remember that he had two assists that day. He, Brady and Matthew exchanged glances. They were all impressed at her knowledge.

Just then, Chantal called downstairs. “You guys will be down there all night if I don’t stop you. Come upstairs, let’s play Skip-Bo!”

“Clearly we need to talk about hockey more often, Y/N,” Walt said. “You’ve been holding out on us.”

“I’d love that. I didn’t want to come across as a fangirl, but hockey is a huge part of my life,” Y/N replied.

“You fit right in, Y/N/N,” Brady said and everyone laughed. Well, everyone but Matthew laughed. Matthew was oddly silent. Y/N braced herself for a reaction that didn’t come.

As soon as they got upstairs, the boys went to change and Brady motioned for Y/N to follow him. “Here, let me get you sweats and a t-shirt. We’ve gotta be comfy if we want to beat dad and Matthew,” Brady said seriously.

Y/N decided now was a good time to let him in on her plan. “Brades, I play Skip-Bo with my family all the time. I’m kind of an expert,” Y/N whispered. “But don’t tell anyone, I want to wipe that stupid smirk off Matthew’s face and kick his ass. He’s been so annoying tonight. ”

Brady’s eyes got bigger than his head. “You are my favorite person ever. This is about to be a very fun night,” he said and you both laughed.

“I’m gonna go change and I’ll meet you there, partner,” Y/N said.

What Y/N didn’t expect was that Y/N was going to wipe the smirk off Matthew’s face before the game even started. When Y/N met Brady in the living room, both of them wearing Senators shirts, she felt like someone was staring at her. She turned around to see Matthew giving her a death glare. She didn’t understand so she looked at Brady, who was trying to contain his laugh as he pointedly said, “Looking good in Senators gear, Y/N/N!” just loudly enough that Matthew would be able to hear him. Matthew stormed into the dining room where they would be playing.

“What was that?” Y/N asked Brady.

“I was just testing a theory,” he said casually as if that was supposed to explain it all. It did, but she still wanted to hear Brady say it.

“Do you think he-“ Y/N started to ask before Brady cut her off.

“Obviously. Do you-“ he started to ask, but it was Y/N’s turn to cut him off.

“Obviously,” Y/N replied.

“Oh, this is going to be so much fun!” Brady exclaimed before dragging Y/N into the dining room.

Part 3

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rollingthunderpouringrain · 3 years ago

Note

Thanks Kritty you’re the coolest. Really long response incoming, I’ll break it up into a couple of asks so you can copy/paste and hide it under a cut if you need. Anyway it WAS a serious ask, but I also need to make everything I say a joke. Even my therapist once told me it was a problem.

(Follow up for this)

Hi anon! 🌻👋 I get that 🙈 I'm glad you saw my answer, and thank you for your other ask!

Lenghy, rambly and prolly typo-y thoughts in regards to your other ask under the cut!

Yes, I know what you mean and thanks for clarifying!

As for the judging (also, thx for clarifying!), I get that, actually - especially with takes on characters and fandom shipping stuff, it can all get kinda messy and of course an inner first reaction can be a form of judgement when someone else sees your favorite character in a totally different light than you do. Though, for me personally that feeling I get when I see a take I can't get behind (or shipping stuff that is a bit too intense/taken seriously and detached from "reality" or canon or whatever for my personal liking) is not exactly cringe, it's some kind different feeling I can't put into words rn. But maybe that's semantics, idk.

I think we all need to touch some grass sometimes, some are more Online than others but fandom tumblr people are fandom tumblr people so there is that. I totally understand the fear of being judged but that's probably something we all have, so it's important to create/find safe spaces (and/or be really obvious about it in the tags lol. I talk about being cringe and embarrassed for thirsting after celebs in my tags all the time because people i know in real life follow me and I feel very cringe - even though I don't believe in cringe culture so...). I also find it very important to imagine why people are maybe doing those things (needing a hyperfixation more than usual, defending a ship very intensely, spiralling more into fictional worlds). There can be legit reasons for that I gather.

That is totally correct! You cannot control your thoughts and oftentimes they're even wrong and not what you really feel. I have intrusive thoughts often so that's a topic that's important to me.

I love that you wrote Y/N fic and I really like the fact that you still have those on your blog! You should be proud, you were being creative and you had fun - so even if you find it cringey now it's nothing bad. I love seeing people write and reblog those, even though I couldn't ever do it. (Though, never say never amirite?! XD)

Oof the thing with the offline friends 🙈 I understand... that "disconnect" can be tricky.

I don't think my RL version is much like my online self, but maybe it totally is, it's hard to say. With some people I talk like on here, and with some people I don't want them to ever find this blog but have accidentally used tumblr-isms and felt very embarrassed. But I generally not wanna Call myself cringey, to train myself, so to speak xD What I do struggle with is being what some people consider cringey in the tags of a post about my fictional faves or especially celebrities in regards to people from my real life. I don't care about being ~cringey in fandom cos - as we established - we're all cringey so noone is. But my rl friends have responsibilities, I know they pay taxes and are Adulting out there while I'm yelling about famous strangers being pretty on here xD --- nevermind tho, that those RL people are also on here, some of them also yelling in their tags, so, idk, brain 😑😂 So it again comes back to "If everyone is cringe no one is", as you put it greatly! And I firmly believe that we all are cringe at various points in ihr lives, outside of fandom too, and that's ok ♡

(Reading too much into things is sooo much fun! I personally need reality/canon checks from time to time because honestly, fandom can feel "gaslight"y - using that word for the lack of a better word here - but I love reading too much into things lol)

I'm glad my answer made you feel better and if you wanna chat more you can always message me if you want, also via dm, I wont judge or anything :) Or send another anon ask, that's ok too. Or don't, how u like XD

Have a great rest of the weekend/good day and stay safe :)

#anon #asks #cringe culture

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luviedovey · 4 years ago

Text

the you i fell in love with

connor murphy x female!reader

a/n: not me writing a fic about mike faist’s connor murphy 2 years after he left the show...... also Connor is probably ooc

summary: you were Connor’s girlfriend who lived in the next town over, a little over a half hour away. his family didn’t know about you, no one did. he didn’t want his family or anyone he knew to scare you away. in the end, it didn’t really matter. he was gone. when the Connor Project came to be and Evan resigned from being co-president, you ran into him. you questioned him about his “friendship” with Connor and he told you everything.

set after the Murphy’s find out the truth and before the Evan/Zoe reunion at the orchard.

second person pov

warning: a few swear words, also very brief mention of depression and taking your own life, and Larry Murphy kind of being a dick

word count: 5,573

______

“Who are you exactly?” Evan questioned the girl who pulled him off to the side of the supermarket where no one else was around. To say he was a little nervous would be an understatement, he was freaking out on the inside.

“I’m so sorry! I probably scared you half to death dragging you along like that.. I just have some questions for you, if you don’t mind answering..?” You smiled at him sheepishly. Something about your awkward smile eased his mind a bit, but not enough. “No, sorry my mom actually is waiting for me by the-” “It’s about Connor!” You interrupted, looking at him through sad, heartbroken eyes. “..Please. Evan Hansen. I know you weren’t really friends with him. I know you weren’t even secret friends with him.. Because if you were, I would’ve known.”

Evan looked around before looking back at you, confused. “Who are you?” He asked for the second time. “I’m- I was Connor’s girlfriend. Y/N L/N. I met him 2 years ago at the apple orchard you guys rebuilt? We both went there because we thought that no one else would be there and that it would be the perfect place to escape. His family and classmates never knew about me because he-” you laugh slightly,” he was afraid they would take me away from him. Or that his family would fight in front of me and he’d lose his cool or that his sister would say nasty things about him to ‘spare me from being in a relationship with him’ or even that the bullies at his school would turn me against him even though he knew damn well I could never.” You stopped rambling and passed him a Polaroid picture of the two of you, sitting against the chain link fence that surrounded the old abandoned apple orchard. You were looking up at Connor with heart eyes as he smiled back down at you. A real smile. This was the real Connor Murphy.

Evan looked up from the picture at you, shocked before quickly returning it to you. “Oh my god... You must think I’m such a h- horrible person for doing all this and pretending to be best friends with your- your dead boyfriend- I’m so sorry for your loss by the way- and making up all these stories about things we never really did and starting a whole online campaign about-” “Evan!” He stopped ranting, breathing heavily. “Breathe, okay? In through your nose, out through your mouth. Relax.”

It was silent for a moment before Evan mumbled a quiet, “Thank you.”

You smiled knowingly. “Now. Mind telling me everything?”

The two of you sat in your old beat up truck, as Evan told you everything. And by everything i mean everything. He started from the very beginning, “My dad left when I was 7 so now it’s just me and my mom. She works all the time at the hospital to support us and to pay for her education- she’s studying to be a paralegal- and so I’m usually home alone. I have anxiety so I take medication and go to therapy where I have to write a letter to myself hyping myself up for the day and trying to be positive and stuff-” “’Dear Evan Hansen’...”

He looked up from his hands at you, “Yeah.. Connor had one of my letters when he- um.. he took it from me earlier that day..” “It was your therapy letter? Why did he take it from you?” “Oh! You see he didn’t actually know it was a letter to myself for therapy he just thought I was being creepy and writing about his sister in a letter to print it out where he would find it and freak out and explode or something- That wasn’t why though, I didn’t even know he was in the room with me, I thought I was alone. He signed my cast before he read my letter, though. He said, ‘Now we both can pretend we have friends.’ Which is why I thought doing what I did would be okay but it wasn’t and it never will be and I really shouldn’t justify my actions because it was-” “Evan breathe.” “Right, sorry.” “Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” “Okay sor-” You gave him a pointed look.

“O-okay...” You giggled slightly, looking out of the window at the supermarket parking lot, “So.. he ran out with your letter, pissed because he thought you were fucking with him... And then he killed himself.” “Yeah.”

“So what happened after that?” “The Murphy’s showed up in the principal’s office three days later. I knew something was wrong because Connor and Zoe both weren’t in school and I know Connor skips but it’s not likely that they would both be out on the same days. Zoe doesn’t really skip school- she’s not that kind of person.” You nodded, gesturing to get to the point. “Right, they called me into the office because Connor had my letter and my name was on it so they thought the letter was for me. I tried to tell them it wasn’t- that I was the one who wrote it, but they were in denial. They kept reading parts of my letter back to me from memory, trying to make sense of it but I couldn’t tell them- I couldn’t get through to them....” He sighed.

“They invited me over to dinner and I went because I wanted to set the record straight but when I got there, they wanted to hear everything I knew about Connor. But I didn’t know anything, so whenever they brought something up I just nodded and agreed. Zoe was getting suspicious so I started to make things up. ‘Connor loved to talk about how much he hated skiing.’ ‘Connor took us to A La Mode and we ate our ice cream in the apple orchard where we climbed trees and raced across the open fields.’ ‘We would quote songs by our favorite bands.’ ‘We’d tell jokes no one else would understand.’ All lies. And they believed them. They wanted me to keep talking, they needed me to. They were broken and I just wanted to help them. I told them that we were friends on the internet where we’d email each other to talk about our day and stuff. And Connor would use a secret email account because he knew his dad was checking his regular email, and he didn’t want anyone to know we were friends.... Now that I think about it, this kind of sounds like your story.” You laughed, lightening the mood, and nodded.

“You know, you really aren’t that far off from who Connor was, despite the fact that you were making it up as you went. He wasn’t the monster that everyone thought he was. I mean sure in 2nd grade he pushed over a printer because he had a little tantrum about being skipped for line leader, but what kid doesn’t have a tantrum at least once in their life? It definitely didn’t help that all those kids grew up, making the story sound worse than it really was. He was always angry and stand-offish because everyone in his life would say shit about him that wasn’t true or be nice to him to get close enough to learn something new about him and then turn around and make fun of him for it. He was battling depression and needed help but his family didn’t want to believe there was anything actually wrong with him. I was the only one to believe him. To believe in him. But I’m just one person, and I guess that wasn’t enough..” You trailed off. Evan awkwardly put a hand on your shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb as a way to console you.

It was silent for a moment. “I think he would’ve liked you. It would’ve taken him a while to warm up to you, but I really do think the two of you could’ve been friends.” Evan smiled slightly, before frowning. “I pretended to be his friend for so long, but Alana- she’s the co-president of the Connor Project- started getting suspicious about our friendship, saying that the letters didn’t make sense because it sounded like Connor was getting better so I showed her Connor’s ‘suicide note’-” “Dear Evan Hansen, It turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year. Because, why would it be?”

“...Yeah. She believed me too. I told her not to show anyone because it was a really private thing, but she just said that was exactly what people needed to see. She posted it and people on the internet started to attack the Murphy’s, saying things like ‘They’re a rich family who couldn’t bother to pay for their son to get help?’ and ‘I’m not saying to do anything illegal but their house is the pale yellow house at the end of the cul de sac with a red door.’” Your hand flew to your mouth in shock. “They even leaked Zoe’s phone number and their house phone! Everything was just spiraling out of control and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and the only thing I could think of to do was just.. them the truth. So I did and I told them everything. I wrote the letter, Connor took it from me, we weren’t really friends, and it was all a lie. I haven’t spoken to the Murphy’s since.” He fiddled with his hands in his lap and sighed. “And.. I’m scared. Scared that one day I’ll go to school and everyone will hate me or that the Murphy’s will ruin my life.. Not that I don’t deserve it, after what I did? I deserve worse.”

“Evan.. No one deserves that, especially not you. What you did wasn’t exactly the right thing to do but you had the best intentions.” He nodded silently, “What did you want to ask me earlier anyways?”

You turned, facing down at the wheel in front of you. “I wanted to ask you if you knew where he was buried.”, a tear slipped from your eye as you sighed, smiling sadly, “I didn’t exactly get to say goodbye..” “I could go with you if you’d like. To show you the way?”

“Thank you, Evan.”

___

During the ride to the cemetery, You and Evan talked, trying to lighten the mood, and quickly became best friends. The two of you didn't have so much in common but you were both very comfortable and supportive of each other. You were like the siblings neither of you had.

The two of you stepped out of the truck, and begun walking to Connor’s grave. “Oh! Hold on..” You turn back, grabbing a beautiful bouquet of red roses and pink tulips, with a small white card that said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you enough when you needed it, Connor. I will never forget you, mon amour. I love you, always.” Connor didn’t have a specific favorite flower but he did appreciate their meanings. Roses represent love, and tulips represent a declaration of love. You hoped that even though he was gone he would still appreciate the thought you put into it.

The two of you walked up to his grave. It was at this moment when it hit you that he was really gone forever. You dropped to your knees, carefully placing down the flowers. Tears streaming as you silently sobbed, Evan’s hand on your left shoulder and the ghost of Connor’s hand on your right.

“I’m sorry, Connor. I love you more than you’ll ever know..”

The two of you sat there in silence for a while, before agreeing to leave in case the Murphy’s decided to visit. Neither of you really wanted to run into them and have to explain who you were and why you were there. “Do you want to come over to my house? You look emotionally exhausted.” You laughed and nodded, starting up the car.

___

“Why didn’t you come to town sooner?” You sighed, “I just.. I didn’t want to believe that he was really gone, you know? And coming here, seeing his grave, and his grieving family just confirmed what I prayed wasn’t true.” You sipped on the hot chocolate in your hands, staring out of the window at the pouring rain and cloudy night sky. “Have you met them yet?” Evan mumbled, typing on his laptop on the couch beside you. He pulled up the Connor Project and read about all the many different things Alana was doing. “No.. But I feel like I should? Like I know things about Connor that would give them closure but I can’t bring myself to go over and talk to them.”

“If only there was a way for you to show them what Connor was really like so you wouldn’t have to talk to them...” It was silent for a moment, “Actually... Connor and I used to write each other handwritten letters and take a lot of pictures together..” “Well what are the odds..” he giggled, “Maybe you could give those to them? The ones that aren’t super personal?” You sat together deeply in thought.

“But I can’t exactly bring myself to just give them away... Maybe I could copy them and white out all the personal stuff? Like the things between me and Connor only, and my face and name?” Evan nodded, agreeing that that would be the best option. You’d create a box filled with things Connor wrote and pictures of when he was truly happy, then leave it on the Murphy’s doorstep. It was a safe, no-contact interaction.

___

The next night, you went over to Evan’s house with the box labeled “The Real Connor Murphy. (i’m so sorry for your loss.. i thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.)” Evan gave you directions to the Murphy household. Eventually, you parked in front of the pale yellow house, all three cars were in the driveway. “You better be quick if you don’t want anyone to see you.. Just.. keep the car running, drop off the box, ring the doorbell, and book it back here and drive off. Don’t turn back.” “Okay super spy.” You laughed nervously.

You walked up to the door, placing the box neatly on the ground with a single rose and tulip tapped on the top, rang the doorbell, and ran off. You jumped into the car and drove off just as Evan, who was previously hiding away from the car window, saw the red front door begin to open.

___

“Larry!” Cynthia Murphy exclaimed, picking up the box from the front porch to the dinner table, placing it beside the small card they had found on a mysterious bouquet of flowers they found the day before against Connor’s gravestone. “What is that?” He asked, looking at it with disinterest. “I found it on the porch, it says ‘The Real Connor Murphy. I’m so sorry for your loss.. I thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.’ It’s in the same handwriting as the note we found on that bouquet of flowers. It even has the same two flowers! It has to be the same person. Someone who really loved him...” “What’s inside?” Zoe asked while reading and rereading the small card.

Cynthia opened the box to find handwritten letters from Connor and a mystery girl, photos of Connor laughing, smiling, pouting, hugging and kissing someone with a scratched out face. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. This was the real Connor, a whole different version of him that the three were completely unaware of. Seeing him like this was just so unfamiliar to them, they couldn’t believe their eyes for a moment. Zoe picked up a letter, reading it aloud,

“Dear Y/N

Things haven’t been going so well lately, my parents are always fighting, my mom pretends like there’s nothing wrong, my dad doesn’t pay attention to anyone but himself anymore, and Zoe hates me.

Not that I blame her, I hate myself too. But I don’t hate myself when I’m around you. I’m so glad to have you around. You make life just a little easier every day.

It’s harder when you’re not around, I get angry easier when I get bullied at school or when Zoe says something awful about me. I just feel like I’m an airplane about to crash, but with you around I feel like I’m flying. Smooth sailing. Floating even. You are the most perfect girl I’ve ever met.

Thank you. I love you.

Sincerely, Con”

“He.. he had a girlfriend..?” She said, in shock. The three began to shuffle through the letters, photos, and little post-it notes, putting them in piles. “These are all copied..” “Maybe whoever left them didn’t want to give the originals away..?” “Maybe because she still cares about and loves him and didn’t want to give these away. They seem so.. personal.” Cynthia picked up a post-it note,

“Tu es belle Y/N, je t'adore.”

“What does that even mean?” Zoe pulled out her phone going straight to google translate, “It’s says ‘you are beautiful, i adore you.’.. I didn’t know Connor knew french.” “He never took a class for it. Maybe he learned it on his own?” Larry picked up a photo this time, Connor was standing in front of the apple orchard’s rotting old sign in the middle of the field, fake pouting and wearing a thin little flower crown you had made him. “I didn’t know Connor had any feelings other than anger.” Cynthia hit his arm. “Wait,” Zoe said, grabbing the attention of her bickering parents, “This letter has a picture and a post-it note attached to it.”

“Dear Con,

Thank you for the painting, it’s absolutely beautiful. You are so so talented. The way you put so much thought into every detail is truly admirable. You make everything you paint so exciting and captivating, even if the thing you’re painting isn’t very exciting at all. You see the beauty in the things that most people never give a second glance.

It kind of reminds me of the way I look at you.

To most people that don’t know you, you are a “freak” or “school shooter chic”. But, when I look at you, you are none of those things. You are beautiful, you are captivating, you are perfectly imperfect. You are worth it. Don’t give up on me darlin’.

I love you.

Sincerely, Y/N/N”

Attached to the letter was a photo of the painting mentioned. It was a painting of your beaten old navy blue truck parked beside a chain link fence that blocked it off from the open field. In the background, the sun was setting in a perfect blend of yellows, oranges, and reds. It was so detailed that if you weren’t already aware that it was a painting, you would’ve probably thought it was a photo taken from a fancy camera. “It really is beautiful..” Cynthia trailed off, wiping a stray tear that fell from her eye, “He was so talented. I didn’t even know he liked to paint! I mean I knew he took an art class but because he skipped school so much, I never even thought he went..”

“I guess we really didn’t know Connor at all..” Zoe begun to get angry, “What kind of family does that?! I mean we lived with him, I grew up with him, you two raised him, and we still didn’t even know who he was?! This.. this stranger even knew more about him than we did! Do you realize how sad this is? We have to learn about our dead family member from a complete stranger because when he was alive, we were too busy pretending like he was just acting out for attention instead of actually needing help! He needed help and we didn’t give it to him! It’s not like we couldn’t afford to take him to therapy! We just pretended like he was a monster and if we ignored him, he would stop..” She took a deep breath, “Maybe we were the monsters and his anger and tantrums were his cries for help...” “Zoe..” Cynthia reached for her arm but she pulled away, running up to her room while choking back tears. “..She’s right.”

The two were quiet for a long period of time, reading and rereading every letter and every note, memorizing every photo.

Cynthia held up a photo of Connor and a girl, whose face was completely scratched out, “Who are you..”

___

The next day was a particularly warm day so you and Evan drove over to A La Mode as a victory ice cream run of sorts. You really believed in treating yourself after small, seemingly insignificant, victories such as dropping off a box of precious letters to a grieving family. They needed closure, and you were willing to give it them. Evan, despite talking about A La Mode with the Murphy’s before, had never actually been. You two talked and ate your ice cream sitting in the back of your truck, looking out at the orchard across the street. The orchard was renamed the “Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard”, which made your heart a little heavy. Another reminder that he was really gone.

In the distance, on the other side of the fence sat the Murphy’s who were packing up from their weekly picnic. As they got up to walk out of the orchard, Zoe looked across the street. “Wait a minute..” Her parents stopped walking. “What is it Zoe?” Larry asked. She pointed at the car parked across the street, “Isn’t that the car that Connor painted his girlfriend in that letter? And Evan?” They looked across the street to find the same navy blue truck and a familiar face.

Evan paled, “The Murphy’s are looking at us!” he whisper-shouted. You began to turn around, but Evan stopped you. “No don’t look!” Your head whipped back to him as your face paled, “They recognized my car..” “How could they? It was night time when you dropped off the box and the door barely begun to open as you drove away..”

You smiled sheepishly, “I may or may not have given them a picture of a painting Connor made me of my truck parked beside that exact fence...” Evan facepalmed and gave you a deadpanned look. “Well they’re starting to walk across the street now.”

You shot up, “Let’s go.” “I mean would it be so bad to meet his parents?” Evan asked as the two of you scrambled into the front seats. “I’m just.. I’m not ready to have that conversation just yet.” You reversed out of the parking spot and drove back onto the road.

“Wait!” The Murphy’s shouted to the car as it begun to drive off. “There was a girl driving. Maybe that was her?” Cynthia asked, hopefulness clear in her voice. “She was with Evan, do you think the box of letters were fake?” Larry, always the optimist. “They couldn’t be, they were handwritten in Connor’s handwriting. Even the french notes.”

Zoe thought for a moment, “Well if we’re going to find her, we should probably start with Evan’s place first.” “Who said we were going to look for her?” Larry asked, “I’m not wasting my time on a wild goose chase. She’s already shown us enough about Connor.”

Cynthia turned to her husband, “How could you say that? She could be the one thing to bring us closer to our son. Our son who took his own life because he felt that that was the only path left for him. And you don’t want to try to find her? Find closure? Honestly Larry, what is wrong with you lately!” “I’m sorry. We’ll find her.”

___

The Murphy’s found themselves at the Hansen household. They knew you were there. After all, your truck was parked in the driveway. Inside were you, Heidi, and Evan. You had just met Heidi, but she loved you. She was thrilled to find that Evan had made a friend like you. You hung out with Evan even after learning he lied about being friends with your recently deceased boyfriend, and helped him when he started to rant and breathe heavy about it. You were so kind-hearted, forgiving, and calm by nature, that he was finally comfortable around someone. You were quickly best friends.

A knock at the door startled the three of you. “Are you guys expecting anyone?”, Heidi stood up to get the door as you and Evan turned to each other. He placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you. “I suppose now’s a good time as ever, even though I really only had 24 hours to prepare myself..” You muttered, the two of you walking towards the front door.

The Murphy’s stopped and stared at you. “Are you.. Were you Connor’s girlfriend?” Cynthia asked. You nodded slightly, rubbing your arm as a nervous habit. “I’m Cynthia, this is Larry and Zoe.. We’re Connor’s family.” “I know.”

Heidi invited them in, everyone heading to the living room. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.. We just wanted to thank you for all the letters and photos of Connor. It feels like we’re finally getting to know who he really was on the inside.” You looked up from your lap, “No offense ma’am, but shouldn’t you have gotten to know your own son when he was still around?”

Zoe laughed, awkward and uncomfortable. “I really don’t think that’s funny.. especially considering you didn’t bother to get to know him either.” You said getting defensive, sticking up for Connor. Even if he was gone, you would never stop fighting for him. You did truly love him after all. “And before you say ‘Connor wasn’t easy to talk to. He would always yell and storm off.’, just think about the fact that having a relationship with someone is a two way street. You can’t expect someone to make an effort if you don’t try to do the same.”

The three looked at her in shock. Heidi and Evan smiling sheepishly in the background. “I..”, Larry started, but trailed off, not being able to come up with a proper response. Cynthia and Zoe looked deep in thought, unable to do the same.

It was quiet for a long amount of time.

“You’re right. You’re right and I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. And the only thing we could do now is learn from our mistakes. We don’t exactly know how we’re going to do that but we’re willing to try. And we’re hoping that you could help us? Help us figure out what to do and help us learn about who Connor was?” Zoe finally spoke up, her parents nodding along in agreement.

You were trying to heal from everything that happened and them putting all their hope on you wasn’t really helping. But maybe grieving together would allow everyone to heal and remember him in a more positive way? At least you hoped.

There’s a lot of hope pinned on others here.

“I suppose helping you all would let us heal.. together?” You said, slightly questioning your own words, turning toward Evan. He shrugged, giving you a thumbs-up. “But I don’t feel comfortable talking about Connor unless Evan is around.” You paused, “It’d be nice to have a familiar face around and we’re practically best friends now.. so..” “Yes of course.” The three stood up, walking to the front door, “We’ll come back here at 11AM tomorrow and drive to the orchard for a picnic if that’s alright with the two of you?” You and Evan nodded simultaneously. “Are you allergic to anything dear?”

With the shake of your head and a quick goodbye from Evan and Heidi, the Murphy’s were off.

“Am I doing the right thing here? Connor didn’t even want his family to known I existed! And now we’re going on a picnic with them? Where I have to talk about him?” You sat down, head in your hands as a headache begun to grow. Heidi placed her hand on your shoulder gently, “It’s going to be tough right now, and it’s going to be emotionally draining, I’m sure. But, if you really think that they deserve to know who he really was, that how they perceive him is wrong, then I think you are doing the right thing. You’re helping them, you’re helping yourself, and you’re helping Connor. You did say that he wanted to change the way people saw him. And you’d be doing that for him, even if he’s not physically around to see it happen.”

“Thank you, Heidi.”

___

“It’s really nice of you to agree to meet us here, Y/N. And Evan, it’s nice to have you here too.” Cynthia smiled, putting down a blanket for the picnic. Everyone sat down in an awkward silence.

“So... is.. is there anything you wanted to know that wasn’t already in the letters?” You asked, picking at the blades of grass beside you. Evan slapped your hand away from the grass, silently scolding you in true forest ranger fashion for messing with nature. The Murphy’s turned to each other, silently debating what to say and who would say it. No surprise to you and Evan that the one to speak up was Cynthia. The past couple of hours really showed that she was the only one who seemed to care, at least a little bit, about Connor when he was around, though Zoe and Larry were trying their best now.

“Why didn’t Connor bring you around to meet the family? It really seemed like you brought so much light to his life. I mean, you brought out parts of him that we didn’t even know existed!” “We thought he was a monster...” Zoe muttered sadly.

Your heart ached for this family, they really knew nothing about him.. “Connor didn’t bring me around because he was afraid you’d all ‘scare me off’,” you laughed slightly, “And Connor may have been a monster to you, but the real Connor was never a monster, to me or to anyone in my small town. In the next town over, no one knew who Connor was or what he’d done in the past. It was like a fresh start. Which I knew he desperately needed. I mean, with all the people bullying him, hurting him physically or emotionally or both, and spreading fake rumors about him since he was in the second grade? He was angry and hurting and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he would lash out. But wouldn’t you react the same way? Build up walls so people wouldn’t hurt you? Isolate yourself so people couldn’t get close enough to?”

It went silent again, the only sound was the wind blowing in the summer breeze and the trees rustling in the background.

“She’s right.”

Everyone looked up, faces showing some form of shock. Larry continued, “All that stuff was going on in school and we made it worse for him at home. He asked us for help and we always assumed he was doing for attention. No matter how hard we tried to be a perfect family, we never were and we probably never will be.”

Zoe wiped away a stray tear. “Even though you couldn’t save your kid, maybe there’s a way you could save someone else’s?” He turned to you with a questioning glance. “I mean you have to admit, you’re a pretty wealthy family, maybe you can spend some time donating to suicide prevention hotlines and foundations that were created specifically to help those who are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts like Connor was? I know for a fact that Connor hated the way that he felt, and would never want anyone to go through what he’d been going through, no matter how much of an asshole they were.”

Cynthia reached over to you, placing a hand on your knee, smiling as tears fell freely from her face, from all of their faces. “That’s a brilliant idea, Y/N.”

___

The picnic went on as you told them stories of your’s and Connor’s adventures together. Jumping over the fence to lay around in the yellow fields of the old orchard, helping your mom arrange flowers in her flower shop (he would always make sure his bouquets were well thought out in their meaning), buying junk food and snacks when having movie marathons on a Saturday night, sketching and painting moments together so you two would never forget them.

With each little story, his family knew more about him and you felt as close to him as you had been before that heart-wrenching summer day.

You fell behind from the group as you all walked out of the orchard. Turning back and taking one last look at the entrance, the fields, and the growing trees of the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard, you notice a figure dressed in black standing with his back against the fence. He gave you a smile, a genuine yet sad smile, mouthing the words “thank you” and “i love you”, before disappearing in the wind.

#connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #deh #dear evan hansen #mike faist #broadway #dear evan hansen x reader

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princess-of-the-worlds · 4 years ago

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tldr: I’m back, babey, with a handful of Torchwood fic recs timed perfectly for Halloween! Now, I tried to collect newer as well as older fics, but honestly, the way it worked out, they all ended up mostly being newer. Still, the fics here are a mixed bag in terms of spooky versus creepiness, and you should definitely find several you like!

I cannot sleep warm by Beleriandings (@ultraviolet-eucatastrophe)

“And I love you too. Now... time to wake up.”

(janto | complete | teen | 11.2K)

Nik: Hi! Do you want to cry? Well, then, read this fic! Set in...well, a scenario I can’t entirely describe without spoilers but can say that it involves dreaming, this fic transcends reality - and also imagination - at times. The author - yes, I am proud to call her my friend - is very good at writing surreal stories, and there are just so many angsty layers to this fic. There’s this symmetric beauty to the first chapter that the second chapter just brings into focus. I immensely enjoyed this fic, but don’t go in expecting a happy ending!

The Picture of Javic Thane by thirteeninafez (@thirteeninafez)

The painting was an old Victorian portrait, showing a man sitting in an almost throne-like chair, posture perfect and facial expression stoic. Deep colours swirled from brilliant brush strokes, perfectly capturing the image it was displaying. It took Ianto a second to realise that the figure in the maroon, nearly purple suit (and matching bow-tie) was in fact the same man that was currently holding the painting in the Hub.

“That’s what came through the Rift?” Ianto asked incredulously, trying to ignore the smile that was tugging at the corner of his mouth.

(janto | complete | teen | 22.3K)

Nik: Full disclosure, I beta’d this fic, and holy shit, it’s good and perfectly fits the Halloween mood! This fic is essentially a The Picture of Dorian Grey AU, and the author’s descriptions as the painting changes...chef’s kiss! All team’s perspectives on Jack and how he changes is delightful and enough to make you shudder. If dark!Jack is something you’ve been missing in life, read this fic, but also know that it comes with requisite amounts of angst. (But I guess that that’s to be expected!)

Werewolf of Cardiff by Jackdaw816 (@shejustcalledmeafish)

Ianto's a wolf in the bedroom. Literally

(janto | complete | teen | 0.5K)

Nik: Again, full disclosure, I chattered about Werewolf Ianto to the author enough until she wrote this. So you can basically thank me for this fic! Short and sweet, this fic is essentially the quickest and best fluff you can ask to cheer you up or give you the warm fuzzies! Despite being a werewolf, Ianto’s full characterization still comes through, and the author does a delightful job with pouring on the extra love and warmth into the Jack-Ianto relationship.

Jack-O'-Lantern by AVAAntares (@avaantares)

An epistolary story in which Gwen carves, Ianto objects, Owen shirks, and Jack pays.

(Written for Torchwood Halloween Fest 2020. Prompt: Halloween traditions or celebrations)

(janto | complete | general | 0.7K)

Nik: Another quick fic! This one is entirely amusing with a great team dynamic! Brief emails follow the trajectory of the weeks before Halloween in the Hub, including a pumpkin that falls victim to Gwen and Jack as well as other moments of humor. You’ll certainly find yourself giggling along!

Imposters Among Us by gwendolyncooper (@gwendolyncooper)

The Torchwood team (+Rhys) are out for a night of fun when they end up on a spaceship with no power, no info, and no crew. Known only as THE SKELD, the team tries to fix the ship and figure out what happened to its previous occupants.

But something out there is killing them.

Something that may be someone they know.

(gwenrhys, janto | complete | mature | 9.1K)

Nik: This fic, as gut-punchy and well-written as the writing is, may not for the light-hearted, as you can likely see with the tags, but trust me, it’s worth it and ends up paying itself off! It’s essentially real-life Among Us, but playing it in reality is a lot more terrifying than playing it on your phone, and the team proves that! The plot is intriguing as it builds on the lore of the game, and the emotional beats certainly punch very hard, but the fic lands a bit more lightly on its feet at the end. Certainly a must-read if you love Among Us!

Toil, Trouble, and Trick-or-Treating by moonlightrhosyn (@moonlightrhosyn)

“I know what this is. She planned this. She thinks I don’t spend enough time with the kids. That’s why she’s doing this.” “Doing what, Ianto?” Gwen asked him. “What do your sister’s dinner plans have to do with you?” Ianto heaved a sigh. “She just asked me to take David and Mica trick-or-treating so she ‘can go to dinner’ - she just wants me to spend more time with them, and she’s come up with this.” “I can go too,” Jack offered as he joined them. He grinned. “I love kids!” In which Jack and Ianto take Halloween night off to look after Rhiannon's kids, while Gwen and Suzie coordinate Halloween Watch (and Gwen tries to get Suzie a date, after two years of strategizing).

(janto, gwenrhys, kathysuzie | complete | teen | 2.7K)

Nik: Here’s a canon divergence AU where everyone lives, including Suzie, which means we get some fun team times with Halloween! Ianto is tasked with taking David and Mica trick-or-treating, all accompanied by Jack. It’s sweet, light, and a perfect treat, with great little moments like Gwen trying to set Suzie up on a date with Kathy Swanson and David and Mica trying to conspire against Jack and Ianto for candy. There’s no monsters here! I beta’d this fic - you’re probably starting to see a trend here - and 200% recommend this for a fun read if you’re disappointed about not getting to go trick-or-treating this year!

Treat or Trick by NancyBrown

Five unusual trick or treaters show up at the tourist office.

(janto | complete | teen | 1K)

Nik: The author is an icon of this fandom, but this is one of their lesser-read fics, which is a damn shame. Ianto’s Halloween at the tourist office goes a bit awry when he meets the team, not only de-aged but also tossed back in time. It’s quick, witty, and humorous, everything a fic needs! A must-read!

Going Batty by blackkat

Ianto is a vampire. Cue Owen's obligitory Twilight jokes.

(janto | complete | general | 1.4K)

Nik: This fic is completely crack. Completely. If you’re looking for Dracula-esque vampire!Ianto, this is the perfect fic for you. Taking place from the perspective of Gwen, it explores the mystery of Torchwood’s most reclusive member. But again, it is also. 100% crack. But it’s very, very batty. (See what I did there?)

Erlkönig by engagemythrusters (@iianto-jones)

Something lurked in the darkness. It waited and watched, and it was coming for Ianto.

(janto | complete | teen | 5.6K)

Nik: Now, if you really want spooky, this is the right fic for you! The writing is excellent and dripping with tension and suspense, and the way Ianto spirals...now, this is some well-written horror that will keep you on the edge of your seat. If you’re looking for answers in this fic, don’t expect any, but that only makes it better. A must-read that was - ironically - written in May. I have many, many questions about how this fic resolves; please tell us, author! (Or don’t, to keep the spooky alive!)

Echoing by Beleriandings (@ultraviolet-eucatastrophe)

Ianto wakes up at his desk in the archives, with no memory of how he got there or what happened before, and no way to contact Jack or Gwen. Turns out, all of that's the least of his problems.

(janto, lisaianto | complete | teen | 7.4K)

Nik: Yes, I know; this author has been on the list twice, but she’s on fire this month, with many, many excellent spooky fics. (Not that her fics aren’t always spooky!) This fic once again hits you like a gut-punch. Written in a very disorienting - in the good way - sense, we as readers follow Ianto wandering the Hub, looking for anyone else. He encounters company who aren’t so solid. By the time you’re nearing the end of this fic, you’ll likely have generated thousands of theories if you’re anything like me, but none of them will hurt as much as the actual truth. Expect some much angst from this. Again, another must-read!

#torchwood #torchwood fic recs #halloween #janto #jack harkness #ianto jones #gwen cooper #owen harper #toshiko sato #nik's fic recs #nik's torchwood fic recs

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iridescentjin · 5 years ago

Text

Dearly Beloved

Summary: Your friend from high school, Taehyung, helps you out when you need a wedding date.

Genre: SMUT and a little bit of fluff

Warnings: Masturbation, swearing, recreational alcohol use, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex (plz use protection irl), spanking, some biting, dom!Taehyung, brat!reader

a/n: sorry Triv. sorry mom. If digital headstones are a thing by the time I die, please put this gif on mine. I listened to “Earned It” by The Weeknd the whole time I wrote all the nasty stuff.

Word Count: 6473

Your best friend is sweet and kind. She is the most generous person that you’ve ever met, and she can make you laugh harder than anyone on this planet. She has cradled you in her arms as you cried over boys, and, when your dad nearly died of cancer, she was there with you in the hospital every day, coffee in hand, ready to listen or just sit with you.

You take a deep breath through your nose and remind yourself of all of this. You love her more than pretty much anyone on this planet, but in this moment you have never wanted to slap her so much in the whole time you’ve known her.

She has been planning and preparing for her wedding for over a year, and the date is only two weeks away. The extravagance of it isn’t really your style, but she’s one of those people that has been dreaming of her wedding since she was a little girl. She has a vision.

At this present moment, you are surrounded by small cuts of lumber, empty vases, fake greenery, and tea lights. Your job today is to assemble the centerpieces. You sit in the middle of the room on the floor, surrounded on all sides by your craft supplies. She is standing just outside your ring of accoutrements, crying and yelling. You aren’t totally sure what she’s yelling about. Seating arrangements? Maybe someone canceled? Honestly, at this point it’s unintelligible, so you decide it’s best to just let her carry on.

“And you!” you hear, clear as day.

You look up from your project and see her finger pointing toward wear you sit on the carpet. You look behind you, half expecting someone else to be there; you’ve done nothing but help. You turn back to her and barely raise a finger to point to yourself and raise your eyebrows in bewilderment. You mouth, “me?”

“Yes, you! Who else would it be? God.” You know she’s just stressed, so you take a deep breath and clench your fists around the fake greenery in your hands. “When we first started planning, you said you were gonna have a date, and I’m sorry things didn’t work with Yoongi, I really am, but now the seating arrangement is fucked and the whole entrance of the wedding party is fucked. It’s fucked, y/n. Could you just ask Yoongi to go with you?”

“Just ask Yoongi?” you spit back, “You want me to ask the man who broke my heart? Tore it into a million little pieces, who is, mind you, already going to be at the wedding because he’s friends with your future husband, to be my date? So...what? So I can get my hopes up again when he’s nice to me, because of course he will be, and get my heart smashed again? Oh but your seating arrangement will be good, so I should just suck it up. Right. Sure.”

You’re standing now, having spilled tea lights all over the floor with the sudden movement. You are breathing heavily, fists clenched at your side, tears threatening to burst from your eyes. Things didn’t work out when you had told your workaholic boyfriend, Yoongi, that you wanted to get more serious, maybe move in together and consider marriage. You don’t think he meant to laugh at you, but he did laugh when you brought it up. He said that it was clear the two of you wanted different things, and he ended it with you. You clearly aren’t over him yet, and she knew that.

Your friends face softens for a moment. You can see the reality of what she said smoothing her features.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m just so stressed…” she trails off.

“Look, you want me to get a date? I’ll get a fuckin’ date. But I will not be caught dead on Min Yoongi’s arm.” You turn on your heel and let yourself out of her house, slamming the door behind you.

When all the rage fades, you realize what you’ve said that you’re going to do. You also realize that you left all centerpieces unassembled in the middle of the floor. You call your best friends mom and ask her to go over and finish them.

“I am already on my way over there, sweetie. But did I hear right that you are going to get a date for the wedding? Where?” she asks, genuinely concerned.

You know she isn’t trying to be hurtful but c’mon, I know guys! You think to yourself. I know so many guys. I know...Yoongi for one, and Hobi. Granted Hobi is marrying my best friend in two weeks. I know….oh! Jungkook! Jungkook will totally go with me!

“I know guys!” you respond to her with excitement in your voice. “I actually have to call the guy that I’m asking right now though, so I’ll talk to you later. Thanks again for doing the centerpieces.”

As you hang up, you quickly scroll through the names on your phone until you land on Jeon Jungkook. You tap out the message on your screen quickly and send it away.

You: Hey JK! I was hoping you might be able to accompany me to a wedding in two weeks. It’s out of town, so hotel. All expenses paid. Huh?

You put your phone down feeling optimistic. Jungkook loves to dance, and he’s a fun guy. Not only does he seem like a living human male who will go with you, you actually don’t hate the idea of going together with him. The excitement doesn’t last long.

Jeon Jungkook: y/n! Hey! I wish I could, but I’ll be back home in Busan. I’m so sorry!

You: No prob, buddy. I’ll go with Yoongi 😬

Jeon Jungkook: No! I won’t let you do that! He broke your heart. Let me give you hyung’s number. You remember Tae? From high school? He’s cool, and he’s free (he just asked me to make plans that weekend). Hit him up.

He sends you the contact. Kim Taehyung. You stare at the number for a long time before you type up a text, and you stare at the text for even longer before you send it.

You: Hi Taehyung, this is y/n. JK gave me your number, and he said you might be free in two weeks to be my date to a wedding. Nothing weird or anything! I just can’t go alone, and if I don’t bring a date, my friend is going to make me go with my ex. It’s a long story. Anyway, it is out of town, but your hotel and all your food and stuff would be paid for. Just let me know.

You exhale a deep breath after you hit send. You hope it doesn’t sound too weird or desperate or anything even though you are definitely both weird and desperate.

Kim Taehyung: sure! I’m always down for an adventure.

You breathe a sigh of relief. Which is short-lived when you realize you don’t know anything about Taehyung anymore. You ran in the same circle in high school, connected by your mutual closeness to Jungkook. You text him back asking him to meet you for coffee, so you can go over the plan. The two of you decide to meet that afternoon, and the anxiety in your chest begins to loosen just a tiny bit.

….

When you get to the coffee shop, you find a spot by the window in the big squashy chairs. You order yourself a latte and play on your phone, waiting for Taehyung. You hear someone softly clear their throat, and your eyes scan the figure in front you. You don’t mean to give him the up-and-down, you really don’t. But the man standing in front of you is not the same Taehyung you remember. You remember a scrawny boy with too much eyeliner (yikes) trying to act like a man while still dealing with all his teenage emotions.

Before you stands, perhaps, the hottest man you’ve ever seen. He is tall, taller than he was when you last saw him, and he is fuller too. He is no longer gangly and awkward. He has broad shoulders, firm pecs, and toned arms that you can see straining against the fabric of his tight black shirt. His black hair is long and messy, and tendrils hang down into his eyes. He has a smile on his face when your eyes finally meet his.

“Hi, y/n! It’s been so long!” he exclaims as he reaches out and pulls you into a hug.

You are shocked by the sudden touch and hesitate to put your arms around him. Even while he holds you for a moment with your arms at your sides, you feel comforted and safe. He smells like lavender and chamomile mixed with something else - maybe just his own skin.

When he lets you go, he looks a little embarrassed and backs up into his chair across from yours.

The two of you catch up about what you’ve been up to since high school: college, careers, failed relationships. You tell him all about what happened with Yoongi, but you don’t mention that you’re not over it yet. He tells you that his ex-girlfriend cheated in a one night stand with a girl at a club, and he had been pretty broken up about it.

You set your plans for leaving to get to the wedding early together. You have to be there on Thursday night because the bachelorette party was Friday and the wedding was on Sunday. He agrees, and you say goodbye to one another, this time without the hug.

****

Thursday afternoon you are packing your bags making sure that you have everything when your phone rings. It’s your best friend, so you take a deep breath before you answer it, trying to stay as calm as possible since she is a total mess. “Good morning, my beautiful best friend and soon-to-be bride,” you say in a syrupy tone that she knows is facetious.

“I have bad news,” she huffs and without pausing she continues, “we booked the hotel when you and Yoongi were still together. So we only booked one room for you and Yoongi. So now Yoongi doesn’t have a room, and your date...Tae or whatever...doesn’t have a room either. And I know that I’m being insensitive right now, but you and Yoongi breaking up is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”

She’s definitely crying and spiraling. “I mean...it wasn’t great for me either,” you attempt to joke, but she just sobs harder.

“Okay, okay. It’s fine. Yoongi will just stay with Hobi until Sunday, then on Sunday, you and Hobi are going to stay together anyway, yeah? So that problem is solved. As for Tae...I’ll talk to him, okay? No big deal,” you console her, unsure what you’re going to say to Tae.

She lets out a long sigh, but her crying seems to be evening out. “You’re right. Okay.” You finish the phone call and send a text to Tae.

You: So...funny story...youandihavetoshareahotelroomnowsorryokaybye

You toss your phone aside and finish packing your bags. As you are loading up the car, Tae pulls up. He looks just as good as he did the other day, wearing a loose t-shirt and gray sweatpants. He’s carrying a single leather duffle bag, and he has a huge smile on his face. He almost looks like he’s laughing.

The drive is only three hours, but it is long enough to be boring. You’re glad that you have company, and you and Tae crank up the radio singing along and laughing. You play car games together, and it is an overall good time.

When you get to the hotel, you are a little unsure of what to do or how to handle sharing a room with Tae. You slide the key in the door to the hotel room and exhale in relief when you see there are two beds in the room. You each take up your side and start to settle in.

When it’s time for you to get changed for bed, you awkwardly shuffle to the bathroom to change. Even though you normally just sleep in your underwear and a t-shirt, you put on a whole pajama get up because you aren’t sure how modest you should be with Tae.

When you come out, he’s scrolling through his phone. He looks up at you and gives you that warm, gentle smile again. How does he look so good just sitting on his bed playing on his phone?

“Hey, uh, so I usually just sleep in my underwear...but I can keep a shirt on if you want,” he says casually to you.

“Oh, uh, I mean, whatever you’re comfortable with. I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable on my behalf, seeing how you’re doing me a favor,” you ramble out.

You wish you said no. As soon as it happens, you really wish you’d told him to keep on a shirt and a parka and snow pants and maybe also a ski mask. To say he is hot is the understatement of the century. His toned honey toned skin is smooth across his chest, taut over his muscles. His boxer briefs sit low on his hips, and your eyes follow the curve of his muscles from his stomach down past his waistline.

You watch the muscles on his back flex as he climbs into bed. You lay your head back on the pillow, staring at the ceiling. What the fuck is happening? you think to yourself. You try to blink the images of his nearly naked body out of your head, but they are there even as you eventually fall asleep.

*********

All day Friday you help set up for the wedding. Tae comes by and helps for a while, and, when it’s time for the bachelorette party, he says he’s going to go find something to do in town. The girls all go out, drink, and celebrate your best friend.

After the bachelorette party, you are feeling light and drunk and, for the first time in a while, you feel your shoulders relax. You say goodbye to the other girls in the lobby of the hotel and head to your room.

When you get there, there’s only one lamp on, and the room is empty besides your bags. You are painfully aware of the silky material of your dress against your skin, especially without a bra on. You feel so hyper-sensitive with the alcohol coursing through your veins. You skate your fingertips up your arms and across your collarbone. You feel yourself soaking your panties, and your nipples are hard against the silky material.

Your head isn’t totally clear, and you slide the straps of your dress off and let it pool on the floor around your feet. You stand in the middle of the floor in nothing but your panties and your heels for a moment, barely touching your skin on your neck and down your chest and belly.

You lie back on the bed, fuzzy head telling you to take care of it. You lick your fingers and take one of your nipples between your index finger and thumb. You feel your hips buck a little bit, feet, still in your heels, planting on the bed. With the way your feet are planted, your legs are open wide, and, if you weren’t wearing underwear, your pussy would be on full display. You bring your hand down to your panties. You run your fingers along the waistband before passing your hand over your covered folds, barely applying any pressure. You have decided to take it slow. You haven’t been with anyone since Yoongi, and you have been too busy to even consider masturbating. Now, you have the time, and you are soaking through your panties.

You close your eyes, and you see the way that Tae’s shirt fits across his chest, the way the rolled up sleeves accentuated his biceps, the way that his sweatpants yesterday left nothing to the imagination. You see the way his bare chest is broad and smooth, the way his underwear sit on his hips, bulge prevalent. You imagine the way he smelled when he’d pressed you into his chest. You want to drown in his smell.

You slide your hand into your underwear, drawing languid circles on your clit, sliding your finger through your arousal and back up to your clit. You feel like you are not in control of what your body is doing and small moans start to slip out of your mouth. You feel “Tae” come off your lips over and over.

“What?” you hear from near the door, but you think it might be coming from outside of the room and can’t process its proximity because the things you are doing are overwhelming you.

A whimper that turns into a yelp followed by “oh my god” comes from within the room, and your eyes snap open. Tae is standing at the end of the bed, eyes wide, mouth open, frozen in place.

You scream and try to get up from the bed quickly, but you are drunk and wearing heels, and you lose your balance. Instead of getting away from him, you stumble toward him. He throws his arms out to catch you, steadying you as your mostly naked body presses against him. And you are mortified, but the scent of him makes your pussy clench. In that instance, you’re a little angry that you didn’t get to finish.

“Are you okay? How drunk are you? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to...I just...we’re both in here. I didn’t know. That’s my bed, by the way. But that’s neither here nor there. Are you okay?” he rambles, trying not to look at you.

You pull away from him quickly covering your chest as you run over to the other side of the room to grab a t-shirt and sweatpants. You throw the shirt over your head, and, as you try to put on the sweatpants, you realize you’re still wearing the goddamn heels. You throw them off as quickly as you can and pull the sweatpants on. When you look up from your panicked clothing debacle, Taehyung is looking anywhere but at you.

“Tae...I’m sorry. I’m just...I’m-I’m drunk, and I’m horny. I’ll go stay somewhere else.”

“Wait no…” Tae starts, but you are gone before he can even finish. You go to your best friend’s room, and she welcomes you in. When you tell her what happened, she laughs hard, pretty drunk herself. You agree to not talk about it any further.

*********

Besides avoiding Taehyung, the next day and half go by smoothly. You are busy setting up for the wedding. The hairstylist and makeup artist take care of you before the wedding, and your friend’s mom brings your dress and shoes to you. You haven’t had to go back to your room for anything, but you are dreading sitting next to Tae at the reception. The dread is briefly overshadowed by the love and pride that you have for your best friend and Hobi during the ceremony.

The ceremony goes off seamlessly, and you are so happy for your friends that you forget for a little while to be embarrassed. When it’s time for the reception, you realize that you have to enter with Tae for the processional. He meets you by the doors, looking pretty annoyed. He doesn’t say anything to you, and he just offers you his elbow when it’s time for you to enter the banquet hall. You walk in holding his arm, faking a smile, and take your seats at the table, followed by the remaining bridesmaids with their dates.

Throughout dinner, Tae continues to ignore you. You think to yourself if anyone should be avoiding anyone, it’s me avoiding him, but you don’t say anything to him. At one point he gets up to go to the bathroom, and you sit alone, pushing your food around your plate.

“Is this seat taken?” you hear from an all too familiar voice. You force yourself to look up into his eyes, and Yoongi is staring back down at your with a smirk on his face. You don’t have the words to respond, so you just stare at him for a moment.

A deep voice from behind you says, “yeah, actually it is,” and then you feel a hand on your shoulder. Oh, so now he wants to pay attention to me. His hand feels like it’s burning your skin, and you want to lean into it.

“Oh sorry, man. It didn’t seem like you guys were together,” Yoongi says, confused but still confident.

“Yeah, well, we are. Why don’t we go dance, y/n?” Tae hisses through his teeth.

“I’m kind of talking to Yoongi right now,” you say to him.

“Yeah, that’s all good, but I really like this song. So come dance with me,” he insists, pulling your wrist a little.

“Yeah...okay fine,” you mumble as you take your napkin out of your lap. Yoongi is looking at you dumbfounded, and you shrug and follow Tae to the dance floor. He pulls you in and presses his body fully against yours. Is this some kind of weird possessive shit?

“So you’re going to ignore me all night and then get pressed when Yoongi tries to talk to me?” you snap, annoyed.

“First of all, you left me alone in that hotel room for two days, so who’s really ignoring whom? Why can’t you, for once, just be a good girl and do what I say?”

You can’t deny that the expression “good girl” coming from his mouth does something to you, but you are already heated. “Oh, yes sir. I’ll be the goodest girl because you just dragged me over here and are being an ass, so I better be good for you. Fuck off,” you spit at him, rolling your eyes.

“Well, you told me how Yoongi broke your heart. And you weren’t gonna tell him to get lost, so I did you a favor. You should be thanking me,” he spits out.

“What’s your deal, Tae? It’s not like we’re actually dating or anything.”

You swear he growls in his chest a little bit, then he spins you before pulling you back into his body. “Well, maybe I want to be,” he mutters.

Before you have a chance to talk, the MC comes on and asks everyone to clear the floor for all the first dances, father dances, mother dances, second-cousin dances. It goes on for so long that you decide to return to the table, and Taehyung follows you. You sit down, fully prepared to demand an explanation from him when the photographer comes up to your table.

“Can I get a picture of you two?” she asks with a bright smile.

You can’t bring yourself to say no to her cheeriness, so you agree, doing your best to smile for the camera.

“You know what would be really cute?” the photographer starts, and you feel the dread building in your chest, “if you sat in his lap.”

Oh my gods, ugh. You are incredibly annoyed, but you know that this innocent woman doesn’t understand the very weird situation going on. So you, once again, reluctantly agree. You climb into Taehyung’s lap, and the energy immediately feels different. He clears his throat behind you and slides his arms around your waist. While the photographer tries to get a better angle (why is she taking so long!?), Taehyung starts to slide his hand down your thigh.

“I heard you,” he whispers to you, smile still stretched across his face. “I heard you say my name. You can’t act like you don’t want me. I heard you.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask defiantly, knowing exactly what he’s talking about.

“You know what I’m talking about. You said my name. I’ve wanted you since the day I met you. I had such a big crush on you in high school, but you were oblivious. Now, you see me. Now, you want me. I heard you.”

As the photographer walks away, you don’t try to get up. You just shift a little in his lap. With the movement you can feel, very clearly, as if there was hardly any fabric between you at all, the outline of his cock, half-hard against your ass.

“Are...are you not wearing underwear, Tae?” you ask, feeling flustered, face hot.

“I tell you I heard you say my name while you were touching yourself on my bed. And you ask if I’m wearing underwear. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to take advantage of me,” he professes with a smirk.

You look around frantically to make sure no one heard him, but your head snaps back to look at him when you feel his fingers teasing the hem of your dress against your thigh. You can feel the movement causing a rush between your thighs, and you can’t focus on anything except the way his hand feels on your skin.

“Tae…” you whisper, trailing off.

“Say it, y/n. Say you want me.”

“We can’t do this here, Tae. There are so many people here,” you say looking around at all of your friends, who you would be mortified if they found Tae with his hand in your dress.

“If you say that you want me right now, I’ll take you upstairs, and I’ll fuck you like you deserve to be fucked,” he whispers, letting his hot breath run over your ear.

Shit. Shit. Am I doing this? Fuck it.

“Tae, I want you...right now,” you practically moan.

With that, he’s up out of his seat, adjusting his pants. He ushers you out of the hall with his hand on the small of your back. You clamber into the elevator, and, when the door shuts, he is all over you. His mouth is on your ear and your neck, your collarbone and the curve of your shoulder, you chest and the upper swell of your breast. He’s kissing every exposed inch like he’s been poisoned and the only antidote is in your skin.

The elevator door opens on your floor, and the two of your practically run to your room. He slides the key card in and flings the door open. He kicks it closed behind you, and he takes off his tie and begins unbuttoning his shirt. He turns around to look at you, lacing his fingers in the hair on the back of your head down to the nape of your neck. He’s big eyes are peering into yours, searching your face.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks in a deep rasp.

“Tae, you’ve already kissed my whole chest. Yes,” you say back with a bite to your tone. You can’t help but want to contradict him and push his buttons.

He smashes his lips into yours, a deep, hungry kiss. All of his annoyance and frustration seems to come out with his kiss too. He nips your bottom lip and pulls it a bit before letting it going. He goes right back to you, forcing his tongue into your mouth.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me now?” he asks when he pulls away.

“I don’t know,” you tease. “I guess we’ll have to see.”

“How is ‘babygirl?’ Is that okay with you?” he asks looking into your eyes again.

“Babygirl is fine,” you reply, “but I’m not your good girl.”

He growls at you from his chest, scrunching his nose. You feel the tension in your stomach building and you know that your panties are useless at this point they are so soaked. He leans into you, reaching around your back, unzipping your dress. You shimmy it off your body, letting it pool on the floor around your feet, just like you had down two days before.

You runs his fingertips across your skin from your collarbones over your breasts, gently catching your nipples, down your stomach, across the waistband of your underwear. He bends his knees, setting one on the floor, and he keeps tracing his fingers down your thighs, over your knees, and around your ankles. He presses his mouth to your hip and your thigh while he caresses the inside of your legs up to your thigh and back down to your ankle. Then he pulls the strap off both of your ankles from your shoes and pulls them off your feet. Your skin feels like it’s on fire with every touch from Tae’s fingers, and you feel your pussy clench around nothing with every move he makes.

While still on his knee, Tae looks up at you through his lashes. He asks in a commanding tone, “Babygirl, if you need me to stop you just say red, okay?” And you nod.

“Now, are you going to be good for me while I lick your pussy?”

Your breath catches, and your heart pounds in your chest. “I don’t want to be good,” you sass, voice hoarse already.

His teeth bite down on the skin of the inside of your thigh. “Are you talking back to me, babygirl?”

You are too stunned to come up with anything clever, so you just nod.

He bites down again on your other thigh. “Use your words,” he commands.

You are so wet and so overwhelmed. He is too much for you already. “Yes, I was talking back to you,” you pant out.

He stands up from between your thighs, and you feel remiss that you let your brattiness get in the way of having him licking you. He whispers, “you’re being a bad girl.”

You stick your tongue out at him in response, unable to stop yourself. His hand comes up to your chin and holds your head so you have to look him in the eye. “Look at me,” he demands. “You better start behaving, you little monster.”

For some reason, him calling you a little monster does something to you. You don’t know if you’ve ever been this turned on. “I’ll be good. I’m sorry.”

You lean to kiss him, and he catches your lips in another bruising kiss.

“Lie down on the bed and take your underwear off,” he says as he stands back from you, palming himself through his pants, seeking some relief.

Once you’re in position, he pushes your legs up, so your knees are bent. You are in the same position that you were just two days ago when he walked in on you. He whispers so pretty, then kisses gently on your clit and down your folds. He barely slides his tongue into your pussy, then drags it all the way up you, collecting your arousal on his tongue.

“So wet for me, babygirl.”

He takes his tongue and draws slow, steady circles on your clit while he brings his hand to your entrance and slides too fingers in. He immediately pushes them all the way in without letting you adjust, then he curls them upward. His lips wrap around your clit, and he sucks.

You groan beneath him. He feels like he knows exactly what your body wants and needs. He is intuitive to your body, and your head is swimming. Your skin is burning, and your hips start to buck, even as he uses one hand to try to still you.

“Tae, I’m going to cum,” you gasp.

“No, you aren’t,” he says against your clit, “you’ll cum when I tell you to cum. And do you know why?”

You shake your head, back arching up off the mattress.

“This pussy is mine. Your orgasms belong to me, understood?”

“Yes,” you whine, “please, Tae…”

“Say it,” he commands for the second time tonight.

You moan as he continues his unforgiving ministrations with his fingers and his tongue. “Fine. This pussy is yours. My orgasms belong to you.”

“Good girl,” he whispers and pulls his fingers out of you and pulls his mouth away.

“No, no,” you whine at the lost of contact

“You better start being good, babygirl. You better start showing me that you deserve to cum.”

You really don’t mean to say it, but your bratty side comes out again. You look him in the eye and defiantly say, “Make me,” crossing your arms over your chest.

He leans over your body and picks you up, flipping you over easily. He commands you to get on your hands and knees.

“I’m going to punish you, babygirl. Do you remember the word to say if it’s too much?”

“I remember, yes.” You crawl onto your hands and knees and push your ass toward him, taunting him. You have your legs spread, and with the way you have put your head down on the mattress, your pussy is on full display for him. He can see how slick you are for him and because of him. You can feel how swollen your clit is, and all you want is for him to touch you again. Instead, he brings his hand down with a smack on your ass. You hiss from the sting, but you feel yourself growing wetter somehow. You moan and push your ass further back toward him. He lands four more spanks on the same cheek, and it stings as he rubs his hand over the spot. He presses his lips to the tender spot, and then he presses his lips against your wet pussy before pulling away.

You try to bite back the whine that is trying to escape your chest. You turn to look at Tae over your shoulder, and you should have just kept looking forward. His pupils are huge, and his hair looks like he’s been running his hand through it. His lips are swollen, and his cheeks are pink. You let out a moan at the sight of him. Desperate to cum.

“Please, Tae. Please let me cum,” you beg, feeling like you might cry.

“Turn around, baby girl,” he says a little more gently than his last commands.

You turn around, and he steps up right in front of you as you sit on the end of the bed. He puts his fingers on your chin again and angles your head up to him. He presses a gentle kiss to your mouth, and then he grabs your hands and brings them to his belt. You can see the outline of his cock through his tight black pants. You have never wanted a cock more in your life than you want his right now.

You unbutton his pants, and the flesh of his dick is right inside the zipper. So he wasn’t wearing underwear. You push his pants down, and he steps the rest of the way out of them. He takes his cock in his hand and strokes it. You look up into his eyes to wait for him to tell you what to do.

“Lie down, babygirl,” he says, and you immediately obey.

His eyes flash with realization for a moment. “I don’t have a condom,” he says in panic, his breathing quickening.

“It’s fine. Are you clean? I’m fine. Birth control. Just fuck me raw,” you can’t think and words are tumbling past your lips.

“I am clean. You’re on birth control? You’re clean?” he asks, slightly more coherent than you are.

“Yes to both. Fuck me raw, Tae, please,” you beg. You feel desperate and crazy.

He pulls your hips to the end of the bed, still standing in front of you. He drags his cock through your arousal, getting his dick slick before he presses against your entrance. He pushes slowly into you, and you feel every millimeter of him exploring every millimeter of you. You let out a loud guttural moan as he continues to push all the way in. He brings his thumb to your clit and pushes messy circles there, and you clench around his dick.

“Fuck, babygirl, you can’t do that. I’m not gonna last long anyway,” he says as he draws himself slowly back out of you and pushes back in slowly.

“Tae…” you pant.

“I know, babygirl. You have to hold on though. Remember your orgasm is mine.”

He starts to thrust in and out of you more urgently. He’s panting, hair falling into his eyes. His breath is ragged as he continues to rub unforgiving circles on your clit. He pushes his hair back with his one free hand, and his tongue darts out to lick the corner of your mouth. You feel yourself careening toward the edge, and you don’t want to disappoint Tae but also can’t stop it. You pant out his name again.

“Cum for me baby girl,” he whispers as he bites your ear lobe, thrusts becoming erratic. You tumble over the edge, warmth filling your stomach as your pussy clenches around him, and your mind goes black as your eyes pinch shut and all of your muscles contract. You let out a low, loud moan, and Tae is crashing like a wave too. He cums hard and moans a long moan, filling you with cum and continuing to fuck it up into you. His hips only stop when you have regained your senses enough to open your eyes.

After he pulls out of you, he disappears for a second. He returns with a warm washcloth. He sets to work cleaning you and then himself. He takes the towel back to the bathroom, and then climbs into bed next to you. “What can I do to take care of you, babygirl?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“I want to cuddle you, and maybe watch The Grinch,” you respond in a sleepy voice.

He gets you both under the covers, then pulls your body close to his. “I’ll try to find it, but we might have to watch something else,” he explains as he grabs the remote and flicks on the TV.

“Hey Tae?” you say after you settle on watching HGTV.

He hums in response and pulls his eyes from the screen to look at you. “Can we like...go on a date soon?” you ask, suddenly nervous even though you’re both naked, cuddled in a post sex cocoon.

“I want nothing more than that...and we probably should since your pussy is already mine anyway,” he smiles a huge smile and presses kisses to your temple, cheek, and jawline. You snuggle back in and eventually fall asleep wrapped in one another.

#taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung imagine #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x y/n #bts smut #bts fanfic #kim taehyung: actual demon

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years ago

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What’s For Dinner

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 1.6k Warning: Lil bit of romance at the end. Rated PG-15. Summary: Becca embarrassed Ethan at work and later that night he makes her pay for it.

Author’s Note: This one shot is inspired by @ohchoices prompt request 23. “You Always Look Beautiful” and 81. “Hello, Mr. Grumpy.” I also wrote this as part of @julychoiceschallenge Day 9 prompt “Space” and @wackydrabbles prompt “I don’t plan on stopping”. They’ll be underlined and in bold. Enjoy!

sorry for any mistakes i didn’t proofread or edit at all

Taglist: @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @aylamreads @binny1985 @ramseysno1rookie @interobanginyourmom @queencarb @perriewinklenerdie @rookiefromedenbrook @eramsey28 @choicesficwriterscreations @heauxplesslydevoted @schnitzelbutterfingers @purpledragonturtles @ramseyandrys @ermidc @mrsdrakewalkerblog @doilooklikeiknow @overwhelminglyaquarius

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Ethan stood in his kitchen cooking dinner with nothing but his deep navy work trousers still on. He had an early day at work and was preparing dinner in cold silence. Too deep in his spiraling thoughts to notice the click of the apartment door shutting and jingle of keys against the sideboard.

“Hello, Mr. Grumpy,” Becca cheerfully called from the opposite side of the kitchen island in the open-concept space as she took the day off.

She shimmied out of her skirt and unbuttoned the top few buttons of her blouse getting comfortable. Her black pencil skirt left abandoned on the bar stool and her heels and purse left by the front door. Coming home to Ethan always sent a surge of placidity throughout her body - an unique sense of veneration for the most mundane of things really.

Although they weren’t living together Becca had her own set of keys to Ethan’s bachelor pad and spent most nights there. She even has a section of the closet, a couple drawers throughout the home and everything in between. Neither kindred spirit wanted to give up the option of independence just yet. Becca also just couldn’t let go of her friends - the jokes and antics that could only transpire in their shared living space - and settling down with Ethan Ramsey seemed like something far off after residency anyway. After all, Ethan was much too old for some of their schemes.

Even with all the rustling and no intention from her of keeping things quiet, Ethan still paid her no mind.

Becca took in his stance. The muscles of his back defined and tense. He stood stoically, entranced by the food in front of him. Becca rolled her eyes at the sight and his blatant disregard for her.

“Are you seriously not speaking to me?” she asked incredulously.

With no answer she got her answer.

Her tongue pressed firmly in the side of her mouth out of frustration.

She lightly rounded the counter on the tips of her toes and bounded her way over to her lover, dangerously encroaching on his personal space. A light smile made its way unknowingly onto Becca’s lips at the smell of the last notes of his cologne mixing with the musk glistening off his skin as he slaved over the hot stove. He stood indifferent, a spatula in his right hand and pan handle in the other.

“That smells good,” Becca noted as she stared at the contents. Nutty and sweet wafts tickling the end of her nose.

Still no response from the statuesque man before her.

In defiance she reached her arm across him, making a point to brush her forearm across his pec to pluck a roasted carrot off a tray.

Looking up at him she took a dramatic chomp, “Tastes good too.”

Ethan kept his steely blue gaze on the food, not wanting to play into her antics.

She sighed without recognition.

Just like she does most times he’s cooking, Becca moved to stand behind Ethan and wrapped her arms around his taut abdomen, gently pressing her head against her lover’s back. The feeling of his warm skin against hers is something she’ll never tire of. It always felt as if she was standing under the sun rays on a clear day. A place where nothing else matters. And when they were pressed like this nothing did matter.

“What is it?” She asked as she kissed his shoulder blade.

Ethan involuntarily relaxed his rigid shoulders into her touch. As much as he wanted space to brute he just couldn’t stay mad at her. Not anymore. They’ve gotten to the point in their relationship where just one look from the other admonishes all of life’s worries and the day's tragedies. A deeper level of unconditional friendship - a deep fondness for the others' very existence.

He told her without a second thought, “Almond crusted salmon and roasted vegetables with a yogurt dressing.”

Becca nuzzled her nose into the soft space between his shoulder blades, “You’ve been busy.” It wasn’t unlike Ethan to make a ‘fancy’ and labor intensive meal for them, but his dedication to the culinary arts always surprised her.

Ethan rolled his eyes.

Becca let her hands fall from him and grabbed a few more carrots. Then she hopped up on the counter adjacent to the oven as munched.

“So… how was your day?” she asked knowing full well how a majority of his day went. They were on the same team after all, and she did unintentionally embarrass him completely in front of Baz, June, Zaid and Ines.

Out of the corner of his eye he let himself ogle her. The hem of her emerald green button down fell on the top of her thigh nearly meeting the nude lace of her holdup tights, the top four buttons undone to expose her nude bra, and the puffed sleeves deflated after the long day. Her hair was still straggly and falling over her shoulders. He wondered to himself if she lost her hair tie once again - it was rare her hair wasn’t thrown upwards the second her shift ended.

“Oh come on!” She exclaimed when he didn’t respond, “I didn’t mean to do it.” With a heavy sigh she added, “Nobody died, let’s move on. You can’t be mad at me forever.”

“I’m not mad. I’m disappointed.”

Becca threw her hands melodramatically, “That’s worse!”

The corners of Ethan’s lips perked in amusement at the outburst. He let her throw her strop for a few moments. Once she angrily consumed the last of her snacks he turned the oven and hob off, going over and settling himself between her legs. How could he stay mad at the light in his life?

“How was your day?”

She shrugged, making a point not to look him in the eye, “Fine.”

“Just fine?” he asked inquisitively, a chipper glimmer in his eyes.

“Could be better,” she pouted.

“Oh?” Ethan caressed the soft skin of her inner thigh gingerly with the pad of his thumb.

Becca let her eyes close and savor his touch. Every time their bare skin met it felt like the first time. Her heart beat just one beat faster in anticipation of his next move - she’d be happy with just a peck on the cheek. Everything about Ethan Ramsey has lightning coursing through her veins. She let the peace it brought lull her into serenity.

Ethan moved closer so the front of his thighs were pressed up against the lower cabinets. His left hand placed itself firmly on her hip to ground himself as he nestled to place a kiss at the top of her neck right under her jaw. Instinctively Becca craned her head to allow him more access, eyes still shut.

His soft, never chapped lips were on her skin leaving a quick hot mark. Ethan didn’t pull away completely, his warm breath sending pleasant goosebumps up her back and he could feel the thigh muscle beneath his hand tense. He moved to place another kiss behind her ear.

Becca let a content sigh slip. She could feel his smirk as he took her lobe delicately between his teeth.

“Ethan…” she warned.

His right hand moved from her thigh and to her cheek, holding her head in place. She wasn’t getting out of this so easily. He began to tenderly pepper more sultry kisses down her neck.

And more along her jaw.

“How do you always look so beautiful?” he mused. Ethan’s mind was fogged by his senses, all consumed with the miraculous deity before him, he couldn’t tell if he said the words out loud or if they were still the soundtrack to his consciousness.

She started to feel weightless, thankful for his hold keeping her in this moment and leaning further into his large and calloused palm. Becca shifted slightly so his thumb fell along her idle lower lip, letting just the tip of his shallow nail between her pink stained lips. Her jagged breath now on his skin elicited a small shiver from him. Ethan growled when she brought his finger further into her mouth.

He began to kiss her cheeks.

Her forehead.

The sides of her nose.

Becca scooted to the edge of the counter-top letting Ethan’s presence keep her afloat. He took the hint and slipped his left hand up under her blouse, finally letting go of her hip to reveal red indents of his fingertips. He silently hoped they wouldn’t bruise while Becca hoped they would - a battle-scar of the pleasure that was to come.

Becca trailed her hands up his torso, letting them stop at the base of his neck. She opened her now hazy eyes.

Ethan felt the motion and pulled away.

Lustful light brown coupling with passionate shiny blue.

His eyes were heavy and full of love - the way he looked at her with an unmatched desire had her stomach aflutter. The harsh lines of his face smoothed over and he never looked more childish than he did when he was consumed by her. She was sure she had the same look reflected on her features.

“Ethan…” she breathed once more. Her eyes flicked to dinner forgotten on the stove with Ethan following quickly.

In response his right hand moved to the back of her head and tangled his fingers in her aged curls. He finally gave her the kiss she deserved. Hot, passionate, tender and mind numbing. Becca forgot everything happening and had happened and so did he. Their contact was the only thing keeping her from flying off to heaven.

“I don’t plan to stop,” Ethan moaned against her lips.

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masterlist

#open heart #choices open heart #open heart fanfic #choices fanfic #choices oph2 #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan ramsey #oph ff #oph #ff

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justimagaine · 4 years ago

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“Melancholy” Series Part 7 - Back to Square One / Chris Evans

Part 1 - “Oh, fuck them” ; Part 2 - “I’m here” ; Part 3 - “Just Try” ; Part 4 - “I Support You” ; Part 5 - “I Need Help” ; Part 6 - “I Can’t”

You ended up being one of those fools that believed going to a professional to talk about your problems was going to be it. It would do the trick, but that wasn’t the case. Your doctor prescribed you medications and you were terrified. But the want to get better had become so much stronger. She warned you about how it could happen, but she also couldn’t ell you how your body would react. And that was what scared you. Not knowing scared you. When you felt your dark days coming on you knew how it would happen. You knew how dark it could get, you knew you’d stay in a dark room, not eat, lock people out. You had been over this so many times before, so now when you were sitting with pills in your hands, about to embark on something so unknown, you were afraid.

When she told you would have to take medication, a wave of shame came over you. Had you gotten so bad that this is what you need? What will happen when you take them. This was yet another secret you had to keep from the world and people around you. It was one thing to go see a doctor to talk but it was a different thing to take pills with all that. Looking at those little things in the palm of your hand, pills that were meant to help you be good again, happy again, they made you sad and made you cry.

“Why can’t I be normal?” you asked the empty room, searching for answers you won’t be getting. It was cruel to yourself to say that you weren’t normal, you were but that little devil voice in your head made you think you weren’t. So maybe if you took those people with time the voice will go away. That was your motivation to take them. You wanted to stop saying mean things to yourself, to stop saying you weren’t normal or good enough. So you stepped on this new life path and were proud you did so.

It had been a few weeks since you started to take your medications and things seemed to be going good, with a few times of you feeling sick and being a bit more sleepy. The doctor reassured you that it all was normal and sometimes these things happened unless it was happening more and more. She told you to call if anything changed in your everyday life, if things started to happen to your body that never happened before. At first you didn’t think about being sick as a side effect because you felt like that a lot. Sometimes you’d forget to eat the whole day or other times you’d only eat dinner and it wouldn’t be the healthiest choices, so you’d end up feeling sick. You had to learn to tell apart what symptoms were caused by your lack of self love and care and which ones were caused by the medication you were taking.

On your week 3 of taking medications Chris had to leave to Washington on business. He of course didn’t want to leave, knowing what you were going through, but you told him you’d be okay. Chris knew you were trying to be strong for his benefit. He kept saying he’d do his best to speed things up so he could get back to be by your side, but you told him

“You don’t have to do that Chris. You don’t need to rush your own work for me. I appreciate all you’ve done for me, but you have your own life too, go live it” you’d try to joke around with him, to let him see you’ll be just fine. Chris had spent so much time with you, it surprised you when you’d read or see that he’d given an interview or started to a new project. You couldn’t understand how this man could do so many things at the same time and succeed at all of them.

Things took a turn just as he left, at first you didn’t notice how much they had started to change. You had started to vomit, when you knew there was no reason for it. Slowly you’d find yourself not sleeping, at all. Just staring at the dark ceiling and thinking. The first night that happened you didn’t pay much attention to it, wrote it down as being tired from work or anything else other then you medications. But it didn’t stop, it got worse. Everything seemed to exhaust you, no matter how much sleep you’d get or try to get. No matter how much coffee you’d drink or how long you’d lie down trying to regain the energy, something inside of you had jus simply given up.

You felt the downward spiral start to happen, and you knew you were getting bad again, but couldn’t do anything to stop it, you just wanted everything to stop. Without you even noticing you started to fake your days again, fake smiles, say you were fine when you weren’t. It all happened without you knowing, all those things had become such a big part of your everyday life you were used to it all. Chris wasn’t around to call you out on your lying and fake smiles. You’d talk to him over the phone and before you could even started to fake your joy and great days, Chris would be called to do some work and the call would end. And you were once again alone, in pain. You felt yourself become confused a lot of times, by the most simple things, but kept on fighting and moving forward.

Chris had did his best to finish his work early. He wanted you to come over, so you two could catch up, watch a movie, have a nice night in. That’s what he said but that’s not why he wanted it. He wanted to see how you really were, he needed to see your eyes, see you walk, talk. Seeing all those things could really tell if you were doing good or not. While being away and calling you he’d feel that something was off. Even when he wasn’t talking to you, he’d get this sudden feeling that something wasn’t right with you, how he wished he could just quickly teleport to you, see how you were and then go back. In stressful moments like these people do tend to wish for the most supernatural things to be possible. You wished you could turn time to the point where you felt good: mentally and physically. But both of you had to wait and it seemed as if time had slowed down, when you had an end goal. Chris’s end goal came much faster then yours and so much easier. There you were talking to him, telling him about your work and what you and your therapist talked about. You’d ask him how he’s work was, it was a regular day where you two hang out. Chris being Chris watched you closely, noticing small things in you that had changed, you were different. He saw you had much darker circles under your eyes, you looked tired

At first he didn’t say anything, but then he saw how your hands shook when you reached for your cup and even seemed you were in pain. You massaged your arm as you talked, Chris saw how you didn’t even pay attention to your arm, that clearly was in pain, it was just a normal thing for you

“Are you in pain?” Chris interrupted you, he then pointed at your arm when you looked confused.

“oh, yeah, I guess I slept on it wrong” you said pulling your sleeve over your arm “well saying sleep is a stretch. Probably with all the twisting and turning I hurt myself” you told him with a smile, hoping he’d be fine with your answer.

“You haven’t been sleeping?” he asked turning to you, with concern in his eyes.

“Yeah, kind of” being honest with him was easy for you, but you felt like you should be lying to him, tell him you were fine, because making him sad upset you. Anger was something you had been feeling a lot for the last week. Everything seemed to upset you, most of the time you upset yourself. Every little small thing going wrong was all your fault. That's what you told yourself, you had gone back to blaming yourself for everything. Chris started to ask question after a question making you feel like you were on a trail and slowly loosing air in your lungs. Suddenly you jumped up and yelled

“STOP! Stop with all the fucking questions.” you yelled at him, then walked around the room “I don’t know, I don’t know anything” you felt your chest start to hurt, palms started to sweat. You felt the world crashing down on you

“Hey, hey” you hear Chris say grabbing you by your shoulders then cheeks. You couldn’t see him, your vision had gone blurry “Look at me, look at me” Chris begged you

“I can’t” you said with tears running down your cheeks.

“Focus on my voice” he said holding you by your cheeks, so your eyes would be aligned “breath sweetheart, breath. Come on do it with me” you did as Chris said. Breath in....breath out. He kept telling you everything will be okay and that you were doing great with your breathing. With every breath your vision started to focus and you soon were looking into his eyes. Eyes that were filled with tears “it’s okay. You’re okay” it was hard to tell if he was saying that to you or himself.

“I’m so sorry” you dropped your head on his chest and Chris pulled you in closer. Held you letting you cry out any emotion that felt like coming out. The world had just crashed down on you and you didn’t even notice when it started to lean down on you. Sitting on the couch in his arms, crying, feeling so helpless, in pain. You were back to the same place you started, you were back on square one. What was the point in stating to do any of this if you end up where you started. None of it made sense to you. Chris knew that maybe he shouldn’t ask anymore questions, in fear to cause another panic attack, but he needed to know hoe long this had been going on. What else has been happening

“How long have you been feeling like this? Panic attacks, pain, all the none sleeping?” he was upset that you hadn’t talked about it before, he thought you two were past this. Past keeping secrets like these inside, to the point of breaking.

“I’m not sure” you sighed pushing yourself off Chris, sitting up and looking at the ground. You tried to think back but you couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment. “Some days I’d feel everything and other I’d feel nothing. I’m struggling finding a reason to even breath” you heard Chris sigh and suddenly you were back in the dream you had. Where Chris had enough of you and started to yell at you. Telling you were just too much and wasting time. Squeezing your eyes shut you waited for the yelling to come, for him to kick you out and be done with your sorry ass, but that never came. You felt Chris slip his warm hand in between your intertwined ones, and softly say

“You need to tell you doctor about this. You medication is doing this to you. You’re strong and there are so many reasons to breath,” you looked at him, still trying to understand how you got so lucky to have such a understand person in your life. Someone who was there for you, when you didn’t want to be there for yourself “how about for now you breath for me. Breath because I can’t breath when your not breathing” he looked down at your hands “and remember it’s okay to have some fall backs, you just have to keep fighting, so please keep fighting, because as selfish as this sounds...” Chris looked back into your eyes, they were once again filled with tears and a bit more fear and sadness “I can not lose you., I will not lose you” as a tear rolled down his left cheek you let go of his hand and hugged him. This time you were holding him

“You won’t” his grip around your body got tighter, his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck. Comparing from all the other moment you and him shared when it came to your mental health, this was very different. It seemed more painful, more emotions and truthful. Chris was desperate to not lose you, to hold you as close as possible. He wanted you to know how much you meant to him, how much he need you in his life. To him it was selfish but not to you. Knowing and feeling that someone truly needed you, someone really feared of losing you. There had been people who’d tell you they don’t want to lose you, but this was so much different, so much more meaningful. Chris hadn’t said everything he wanted to tell you, but the way he talked, held your hands and held your body said a lot.

Going back to your doctor you told her everything that was happening from feeling sick to feeling done with the world and ready to just end the never ending pain. She changed your medications and also told you to come now twice a week, that made you feel miserable. It felt as if you were starting over, from ground zero and were ashamed, she saw all of those emotions on your face

“I want you to know something. Some days you’ll feel like you can move mountains and others you’ll feel as if you can’t move yourself out of bed. And it’s okay, it’s okay if you fall back sometimes. We’re learning what works for you, what will help you. All you need to do is sometimes kick back, relax and listen to your own body. It’s okay if we have to change the medication again, it just means we’re getting closer to find what works for you” her words calmed you down a bit, helped you breath. It really was okay, this wasn’t a failure, this was lesson on what not to do. This helped plan for the future. You just had to keep your head up. Now you knew what to prepare for, what could happen. Now you knew what to look for, how fast you should react. This was a lesson, painful but none the less a lesson “so, is there anything else you want to talk about? We have few more minutes” she asked looking at her clock. You thought for a moment then looked at her

“I was just wondering. If these medications could also affect my feeling for a person. Make me feel something that maybe not be true?” you asked unsure if you were even explaining yourself correctly to her.

“Feeling like anger?” shaking your head you slightly looked back at the door

“Love” from the corner of your eyes you saw her smile and shake your head

“No, those feeling you’ve had all along. Now maybe they’ve become stronger” she knew who you were talking about. She knew how Chris was there for you, how he help calm you down. What he told you. You wanted to ask her if you were in love, because with everything going on you were unsure what you were feeling. Thinking about love made you confused and a it stressed. You can’t deal with the most simple emotions of happy and sad, how are you supposed to deal with love.

Right now all you needed to think about was finding your right medication, going to see your therapist, work on yourself. That was all you needed to focus on.

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Tag: @chris-butt ; @denisemarieangelina ; @jennmurawski13 ; @chriscaprogers ; @raabrakha ; @captainchrisstan ; @katiew1973

#Chris Evans #Chris Evans Imagine #Chris Evans Series #Imagine #Series #Chris Evans x reader #x reader #Story #Chris Evans Fan ficion #fan fic writing

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