#the internet may be a cesspool but like

[eiledon]

So the whole Internet Privacy bill is terrifying and all, but now are they gonna make VPNs illegal? Isn’t the whole point of a VPN to hide what you’re doing on the internet by hiding your IP address??

[postnutperfection]

What’s frustrating about the whole Perverts title issue is that it really boils down to people sticking their noses where it doesn’t belong. If everyone minded their damn business on the internet this wouldn’t even have to be a conversation. Its ok to be a lukewarm fan of someone, but I think TikTok has made it feel like you either have to stan someone and be a keyboard warrior in their defense 24/7 or you can’t like them at all. The whole “debate” gets to a point where it feels like im talking to a wall! Even if you didn’t listen to the rest of the album, you have to scroll to find Strangers! Did you not see the literal song titled August Underground on the way there! Hard Times is about CSA! Strangers is literally about her getting eaten! She literally gets cannibalized! I feel that maybe perchance the whole concept of Preacher’s Daughter should be more shocking then an album called PERVERTS

and I know, i knowwww, this has something to do with those motherfuckers on booktok romanticizing every sick and abusive asshole thats somewhat conventionally attractive. I’m sorry but correct me if im wrong but Strangers (at least to me) is not a love song. While Ethel may have loved him and while she may not feel hatred or resentment towards him lets be honest he did not eat her because he loved her, he did it because he is a bad person who does bad things and took advantage of a girl who has known nothing other than abuse. He groomed her and moved her across the country only to drug her and pimp her out and then when he was bored of her he killed and ate her.

I’m just so sick and fucking tired of these stupid ass motherfuckers thinking that they have the media literacy of Jesus H. Christ himself and that think they’re sooo fucking smart when in reality all you have done is taken a BEAUTIFUL and HEARTBREAKING piece of ARTWORK and watered it down for mass consumption. All you’ve done is slapped a pretty little label on it and put it on a shelf to sell to the masses and now the meaning and intention behind it will wither away. Don’t get me wrong, I love TikTok, I think it’s a great place to learn and share and create and find new interests but it gets to a point where it feels like its just a giant cesspool of braindead people talking about how a wood flooring is so “ethel cain lana del rey coquette naturecore maximalist anti-millennial grey girl boss power move”

I know this probably ended up being a incoherent ramble that says a lot and nothing at the same time but I really just had to get it off my chest because holy fuck you guys lets use our brains! hellooo lets lock the fuck in and really do our best to have some sort of competent level media literacy

[stripedstarsblueflags]

shoutout to @escapentropy for this post and the brainrot rpf spiral i went into immediately after <3

anyway here is the fic about logan’s appearance on an instagram story and how alex may or may not have felt about it

The spaces between the stars

George knew something was wrong as soon as he saw the story.

For one thing, it was two in the morning. Not an abysmal time for anyone to be on social media, just abysmal for Alex. George still thinks it’s hilarious that Alex has screen time limits on his phone like an internet-addicted teenager, but he’s listened to enough lectures about the detriments of blue light and sleep cycles to bring it up anymore. And anyway, it’s not like Alex is any more responsive during the day. Over a decade into their friendship, and Alex is one of the worst texters George has ever met. If Alex isn’t texting back at 2 am, he definitely isn’t engaging in the cesspool of the internet. That had been a red flag in and of itself.

The story itself had been an even bigger hint: camera pointed straight up, showing a slightly blurry close-up of the night sky. If it was a constellation, George hadn’t known it; there was no tag, no caption, nothing. There also hadn’t been a hint of a horizon line or any indication of where the picture had been taken, but George hadn’t needed one.

He calls Alex a few minutes after he’d gotten the notification, and of course Alex picks up immediately.

“Get off the roof,” George says in lieu of a greeting.

Alex doesn’t say anything for a bit, leaving an awkward, staticky murmur on the other end of the line. Finally, he protests sheepishly, “I’m not on the roof.”

“You are,” George insists. “Don’t fuck with me. You’re at that little deck with the telescope and plants that no one’s watered in a month, and you’re not supposed to be there.”

Alex makes a sound halfway between a scoff and a laugh. “Would you believe me if I told you I finally paid for roof access?”

“No.”

Alex laughs again, but his voice sounded jagged and painful, rough around the edges.

“Come on,” George prompts. “You hate breaking rules. You only go up there when you’re stressed about something.”

“That’s…” Alex tries to begin, then trails off.

“Did you only post that star story cause you knew I would see it?”

The silence is enough of an answer.

George sighs. “Get off the roof. I’m coming over.”

“Really?” Alex’s voice is timid, almost a whisper. He sounds weak, like all the wind has been knocked out of him and he hasn’t had time to recover.

It hurts George just to listen to. “Yes, really. Someone needs to make sure you don’t engage in more criminal activity.”

“Fine, I’ll get off the roof!”

When Alex opens the door, he looks exactly how he’d sounded on the phone.

“Mate, you look terrible,” George informs him.

Alex rolls his eyes, then steps aside to let George in. “Thanks. Your commentary is always appreciated.”

George ignores the back talk. “Have you slept at all?”

Alex knots his fingers in his hair and pulls distractedly. He shrugs his shoulders, looking like he’s trying to curl into himself. “It’s not that late.”

“It’s late for you.” George steps forward and takes Alex by the shoulders, forcing him to stay still. “Alex.”

Alex struggles to meet his gaze. There are shadows under his eyes. Even under George’s hands he’s trying to fidget, shifting his weight, hands twitching at his sides.

“I didn’t come here to listen to you lie to me. You basically sent up the bat signal.”

That gets a laugh, Alex playfully trying to shrug George away. “Right. I forgot. You’re the British Batman. Who gets summoned by… stars.”

“You’re making me sound so poetic.” George claps him on the shoulder and pushes him gently in the general direction of the couch. “Sit down. I’m making us tea, and then you’re going to tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Is that an order?”

George looks over his shoulder at Alex’s smirk. “You know what? For old time’s sake, yes.” He finds a small stuffed cat toy on the counter and throws it at him.

When George brings in the tea, Alex is already surrounded by cats.

George laughs at the sight, Alex leaned back into the couch with two cats fighting for space on his lap and another draped lazily in some anatomically incorrect position over the armrest. “They gonna make room for me?” he asks, holding out one of the mugs.

Alex sits up straighter to take it, and one of the cats flicks its ears haughtily and strolls across the room.

“Your presence offends her,” Alex explains. “So yes.”

“I’m heartbroken.” A friendlier cat nuzzles George’s hand; he scratches it behind the ears. “You gonna tell me why you went up there?”

Alex looks away from him, slowly chewing his lower lip. He stares at the wall as if the picturue frames will tell him what to say. George waits patiently.

“Well, I should definitely stop,” Alex says at last, trying to laugh at himself. It falls flat quickly and he gives up. “I got in trouble for it, once, a few years ago. I think it belongs to only the top floor, not the whole building…” He boops one cat on the tip of the nose and it wrinkles up its face, swiping a paw over its eyes. He smiles at it. “Anyway, it’s one of the highest places in Monaco. You can see the stars better there than anywhere else– that I’ve found, at least… I don’t know, it just, it feels really peaceful up there. It helps me think clearly.”

George knows he’s not being given the whole story; Alex knows it too. George sips at his tea and says nothing. Alex doesn’t like silence; the longer George stays quiet, the more Alex will say just to fill the void. It’s not a very nice tactic, but letting Alex deflect and ramble and run away from his feelings isn’t helpful either.

Alex drinks his tea, pulling his sleeves over his hands and holding the mug close to his chest. “And I’ve got good memories, too… not like, that roof in particular– just, stars in general, I guess. That sounds stupid. Everyone has–”

“What’s the memory?” George asks softly.

Alex looks over at him then. He doesn’t say it out loud, but the gratitude is plain on his face, the shine in his eyes. Then he casts his eyes back down to the cats. “Last Christmas,” he begins “they did this video thing with me and Logan, just a bunch of questions, you know…” He waves a hand vaguely. “This interview thing. It was so silly, I don’t even remember a whole lot of it. But the thing way, the setup they chose was like this tiny inn in the middle of nowhere– I mean nowhere. And by the time we were done shooting it was night, because of course it was, and I remember we stepped out and there were just so many stars.”

Alex tilts his head back and looks at the ceiling, like if he reaches far enough into the memory he can bring the stars back with him. He takes a deep breath. “Y’know. Because there was less light pollution…”

“Yeah, so much gets washed out in the city,” George offers.

Alex nods. “Exactly. And I’ve been in like, less bright areas before, it had just been a while since I’d been able to see that many. And I remember I looked over at Logan cause I was gonna say something, like ‘Holy shit, it looks like we’re in space’… and he was just.” Alex stops, swallows heavily. He looks back into his tea, breathes out, watches the surface ripple. Then he leans over and places the tea, barely touched, on a side table. He rubs at his eyes and tries to pass it off as scratching an itch; George doesn’t call him out.

“He was just looking up at the sky,” Alex continues, voice softening with nostalgia, “and… and there was this expression on his face like I’d never seen before. He just looked so, like… fascinated. Enchanted.” He laughs a little, eyes far-away, and tucks his feet under him. One of his cats meows frustratedly at the change of position before settling down again. “I mean, he looked like a little kid. Like he’d never seen a night sky before, just smiling up at it… And I think I probably teased him in the moment. ‘Do they not have stars in America’, or… something.”

George feels a cat pawing at his shins and sits back. The cat jumps into his lap and turns to stare attentively at Alex. Even the animals are drawn in by the story, the way the emotions in Alex’s voice have started to fill the room like morning fog.

“But I kind of wish I hadn’t,” Alex adds, shuddering, “because I thought back after and I realized I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d seen him that happy.” His hand, in the middle of stroking a cat, falls limply to his side. “Relaxed. Not for the cameras, not playing anything off. There was just this moment where he was genuinely just happy about something. And I didn’t figure this out until later, but… I think it hit me so hard because I realized I hadn’t thought I was ever gonna see him like that again. Like, the season had been so tough for us, and especially toward the end it was really dragging him down, and I just sort of expected that. The way he used to look at everything like, no light in his eyes. Gone.”

George says quietly, “He never looked at you like that.”

Alex shoots his gaze over, focus sharpening to a razor-point. “Don’t,” he chokes out in a wavering, inflamed voice. “I’ve told you. You can’t make me… think like that.”

George puts down his tea so he can shift closer to Alex. “Mate, I’m just saying the facts. We’re in the same paddock. I know you know him better, but the rest of us aren’t blind. This season, when you two are together… he looks at you like–”

Alex puts his hand up.

George sits back, spreading his palms. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Too far?”

“Sorry.” Alex sniffles, then tries to hide it with a cough. “It’s just–” He nudges a cat off his lap so he can pull his phone out of his pocket. He scrolls through a couple photos until he pauses on a screenshot, then reaches out and shows it to George. “Have you seen this?”

George looks at the picture. “Not the original. I’ve seen it reposted, though.”

It’s the last thing Logan’s posted on his story, shared from someone named Zack Justice (George doesn’t know if he’s supposed to recognize that name) and it’s a picture of Logan. Playing golf.

The sun is shining. The sky is a perfect, picturesque blue. The green stretches on to the horizon, unbroken color that contrasts elegantly with the sky above. The horizon line is right at the halfway point of the image. It couldn’t be more aesthetic.

Logan isn’t too close to the camera, but he’s still recognizable. He’s also not wearing blue.

Alex takes back the phone but doesn’t turn it off. He stares at the photo, glassy-eyed, blue light throwing stark shadows across his face. His expression is lethargic, unreadable, but George has known Alex long enough to tell when he’s spiraling into his own thoughts.

Carefully, he takes the phone form Alex’s hand and flips it face-down onto the couch. An additional cat, seemingly from nowhere, plops onto the couch and sits between them, covering the phone with its tail.

Alex smiles, gentle and hurt. “Point taken.” He looks at his lap and twists his fingers together until another cat head-butts his hands. “This was the first sign of, like, anything. Sign of life, I guess. Since the… since Tuesday.”

“You haven’t talked since then?”

Alex shakes his head, and the motion is abrupt, almost violent. “Every message I send turns green, I… I think he blocked me.” His voice is almost completely shattered, words thick and effortful.

George doesn’t say anything. He just reaches over and rests his hand on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex finally loooks back at him and clasps George’s hand between both of his own.

“You miss him,” George murmurs.

Whatever chains Alex had been wrapping around himself snap and the tears fall like a storm. Dark and churning and unforgiving. He’s silent when he cries, teeth gritted, shoulders shaking.

George squeezes his hand, and Alex squeezes back. He’s clutching hard enough to hurt, but George doesn’t pull away.

Alex takes a deep breath and coughs on the exhale. He speaks like his voice cuts his throat on the way out. “He’s happier now, I think… I mean, he got away from it all. He got out.”

“It wasn’t you he was trying to get away from,” George insists fiercely. “He needs space.”

“Fucking hell, I know he needs space,” Alex spits out, voice rising. George tugs on his hands a little, shaking him, and Alex forces himself to take a deep breath. “But I need him.”

George stays very still.

He has to choose his next words carefully. He’s known about Alex’s feelings for months, had his suspicions long before that. He’s the only one who does, because Alex wouldn’t trust anyone else with the secret. He’d told George that, point-blank. And George had kept his word, obviously.

He’d worried for Alex, though. Has been whole time. Between Williams and Logan there was a ticking time bomb, and if George could’ve saved Alex from the shrapnel he would have. But hopes that it was just a phase, that it was just temporary infatuation that would fade over time, were dashed quickly. Whatever Alex felt was serious, and it was going to get him seriously hurt.

After the one confession they had barely spoken about it– not in explicit terms, anyway. As the 2024 season staggered on, their conversations started edging closer to the subject. Any mention of Logan was entangled with references and hints and what had practically become a code between them, all so Alex didn’t have to look the truth in the face. George wished it wasn’t happening; he wished his friend wasn’t setting himself up for heartbreak like this. But it wouldn’t have been fair to tell Alex to change and George would never hurt him like that anyway.

But this night, Alex’s talent for sidestepping reality is dead and buried. He’s hurt and he’s lost and his vulnerable, so George won’t say his own truth:

This was doomed from the start.

You’ve let yourself be hurt by things out of your control.

You can’t race with your head like this.

You need to move on.

Instead he only says, “He’ll come back to you.”

Alex releases one hand to nudge a cat closer to his chest. He lowers his head, voice muffled by the fur. “I wish I could believe you.”

[queer-reader-07]

there's something so special to me about the fact that people write gift fics for others. i love seeing a fic in my inbox and finding out that it was written for someone's birthday. reading them feels like i'm getting a glimpse into the softness of someone else's friendship. it feels like getting a look inside someone else's mind (how do you think of these characters we all love? what about them do you want highlighted in their stories? what part of their soul that maybe is a part of yours do you want bared for the world to see?). it's like the author is going "i love you i love you i love you, i made art for you"

the internet may be a cesspool sometimes but there is so much love in it too.

[pillarsalt]

My personal approach for situations like yours with your friend is to act very confused and unaware. Like acting shocked at his name, and then continuing to act super confused and horrified but in a way that makes you seem just out of the loop. That being said, that's kind of non confrontational, and I really respect you for having the difficult conversation.

Oh yes I've used the feigned ignorance technique before, especially with nonbinary women friends (and now I've just realized that over the years I've had more female friends who started to pretend they're not women than ones who haven't, that's fucking depressing lol.) Sometimes with the more empathetic individuals, they will genuinely consider what you're asking and you can actually see the wheels turning (I remember this happening with a college friend NB woman, someone else made a comparison between men identifying as women and rachel dolezal, she said "that seems wrong to me but... I can't really say why.") Unfortunately, trans activism has instilled an easy way to shed any doubt that creeps into the minds of its devotees: you can't think that because it's internalized transphobia, it's TERF rhetoric, that thought is bad and you need to give yourself 100 lashes and listen to transwomen instead. So it's very difficult to get someone who fully buys into this ideology to honestly and critically reflect on it. It's not impossible, but it's very difficult.

We'll see, I'm definitely going to question the name first and foremost, establish that I think it's weird as fuck if he deliberately wants everyone who learns his name to immediately associate him with blowjobs. That honestly gives me the most apprehension because I've never seen or heard him say anything porn-brained, and it makes me wonder how well I really know the kind of person he is, or how much the usual internet cesspools have melted his brain. But I want to give him the benefit of the doubt at least until I can ask him wtf he's thinking.

The book I'm halfway through has put the brakes on my guns a-blazin plan to say my piece all at once though. It's tough because I have the feeling I might only have one chance to relay my position, but just simply delivering a message is not an effective way to have someone hear and seriously consider your point of view. It may have to be more long-term and subtle, not pretending to be ignorant but asking questions that he'll have to really self-reflect on to answer honestly.

I'm hoping that I've proven myself to be someone who cares about her friends and wants the best for everyone, and that he'll see I'm not trying to attack him. If in the end we can say "we have a fundamental ideological disagreement but won't let it come between our camaraderie", that would be actually ideal to me. His nonbinary longterm girlfriend is a STAUNCH genderist though, so the diplomatic effort may all be for naught. I know you are all probably wondering why I'm so invested in this man; besides the fact he's my friend, he is the same age as and reminds me so much of my little brother, and I have this protective instinct about him. About all my friends really. Man it will really suck to lose them. This probably sounds dramatic but I've been thinking about doing my own private goodbye tour with each of them individually, like one last nice peaceful hangout sesh each before everything blows up.

Anyway I need to stop pacing in circles about this for now. Thanks for the nice ask anon <3

[dearest-departed]

ugh. andrew’s opening his mouth to speak his mind, now would be a good time to avert your gaze and completey tune him out.

my feed today has been a TOTAL FUCKING CESSPOOL of mpreg, forcefem, and sister fetish content. when i left my cozy corner of the world to upload my liquified thoughts for internet goers to poison their mindscapes with, i never thought id be fed this recycled slop called content every second post i scroll to.

i know it might not seem like it, but i’m a very real person. i live a very real life, i plot my next meal, i drink my coffee, i scratch my itches, i melt my brain watching tv, and jesus i SHIT better content than you mouth breathers can write!

it’s utter whiplash going from a post about glorifying substance abuse to people wanting me to be a woman. people THEORIZING that i’m stuck in the closet and that, oh, poor andrew would feel so much better being a big sister than he EVER WOULD a brother.

even as a fictive (let’s use this term loosely) i’m not fictional.

… ugh. but, let’s not get it twisted, i’m not pulling that bullshit where i say “aw jeez this is horrible i’m uncomfortable everyone’s gotta stop right now” because let’s face it, what a fucking buzzkill move.

however…

could you imagine what it feels like?

the normal and sane thing to do, would be to shut the hell up and ignore the things that don’t tickle my fancy. but i get frustrated, i get uncomfortable, and as poor of an excuse for a human being as i am- that’s exactly what i am. just a fucking human.

ugh. its not that deep. i’m just thinking tonight. and it’s exactly the reason i should distance myself from the ���fandom” and consume the things i enjoy. (cue the tags. can you do anything right, andrew?)

there’s not much takeaway from my unrefined ramblings, so.. to circle back- as whitman once wrote;

“I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable”

i think i just need to shut the hell up and start minding my own business. the complexities of the human mind are too much for one brain to comprehend during such a short lifespan. everyone is a walking taboo whether they mean to be or not, everyone is just as strange and multifaceted as the next.

what i may crave the most, is the validity of being seen. being recognized as my own person. the illusion of freedom as grandiose as it sounds, for someone to sonder my existence amidst the armageddon we breathe and just

fuck. i’m losing my train of thought, now.

this pretentious poet picks and prods a praise deprived populace for a place amongst their people.

that’s all, i think. my goodnight coffee is kicking in and i need my rest if i wanna spend my day walking around town doing jack all.

i’ll burden my blog again later. seeya

[quanticq]

Hey Q! Sorry for bothering you, but for some reason I can no longer find any of your tik tok accounts 😭 Did they get deleted or something?

Hi this is Q! I’m coming out of the woodwork to address this, since I did went radio silent out of the blue so it’s not a bother at all

The short answer is Yes, I deleted my tiktok

Yes delete not deactivate, I’m not coming back to That app or IG or Twt, I deleted my socials except here and YouTube, I honestly felt so overwhelmed with everything, I realized I’m not even posting for myself anymore there. A lots of people crossed my boundaries time and time again I felt so helpless, bitter with myself. I guess I was just overwhelmed with the attention I got; both positive and negatives ones.

Im done and I want to start over so that’s why I’m here and on YouTube, I already posted some of these on my community tab on YT but here’s what I have in mind for the future of the content I want to create: more detail under the cut, and also;

CW: very brief mention of spiraling, harm inflict oneself or others, paranoia, etc

•Long-form content: my attention span is a bit messed up from consuming and making short-form content to the point where I can’t focus in university. I want to create something meaningful. It’s not that my previous content was not meaningful, no. I had fun and no time is wasted when I have fun, it was warm… but as I mentioned earlier, I just felt this lingering bitterness the longer I stayed making those short-form content. It really felt like I was on the verge of losing it. Especially with how the bigger following I have the less people think of me as a person than just another content creator you see on the internet,

I want to create long-form content, I’m so tired of forcing myself to generate 15 second content. On tiktok it just feels like I’m just creating and not really connecting. I want to try something new, maybe create an open space for meaningful discussion in the comments. I don’t think I can stand another copy-paste tiktok comment anymore. You know what I meant if you’re frequent on that app.

•Art Content with Commentary: and don’t worry this won’t be those petty artist drama issue, but I will still cover anything serious

it could be love letters or video essays ranging from fan fictions, fandom culture, the art scene and so much more. I may even share a bit of my personal life, this will be self indulgent after all! I want to make it fun for myself and as well to those who comes across my channel. I really REALLY want to create a genuine following.

On tiktok it’s so easy to gain following but not so easy to retain them, it’s mostly because of the algorithm and the FYP feature there.

On Tiktok most content that would get featured as an artist there would be creative work has to be either; more than exceptional which is pressuring enough already to consistent posters, straight up suggestive content shown to minors (tiktok doesn’t really have a blocked keywords feature but it’s so disheartening to see these creators intentionally not using the sensitive warning since it could limit their reach significantly) oh yes we can’t forget the negativity surrounding beginner artists or “art lore”

All of this cesspool of negativity, it’s a whole can of worms but it will be one of my prominent topics that I wish to discuss in my future art commentaries. I hope you guys are looking forward to those! I might bring in a few people or so to talk about it with me

and finally;

•Streaming: I used to do a lot of streams during the weekends on the clock app and it was super fun! I want to bring that back but that would have to wait since I’m unfamiliar with some features on YouTube, and I’m aware that YT does not have a discoverable feature for stream but that’s alright, I want to start something small first.

In short; I’ll figure it out! just need some baby steps before I start streaming again.

.

I apologize for deleting everything out of the blue, if I’m gonna be honest it was partially planned because I’ve been thinking about deleting my tiktok, twitter and Instagram for a while now but how it happened? In my breakdown I realized that I don’t want anyone to see me spiral, especially now that I realized how young my audience are, I’m not sure how that happened but I guess posting fandom contents does attract the young ones somehow inevitably, even though my content is nowhere near as suggestive, but I do talk about serious topics from time to time… but I digress, its not fair for them to deal with me if they see me spiral publicly,

it is especially not fair to them to console me. When I was younger than 14, I’ve been in a position where I have to talk down someone who was older, maybe 4-5 years older than me, from harming themselves or anyone, it was traumatizing and unpleasant. I don’t wish for anyone to go through that, it’s very painful.

It’s been… hard for me to ground myself. Ive been seeing things through a kaleidoscope of emotions; I was trying to focus on everything but it’s just too overwhelming so eventually I cracked. But please don’t worry I’ve been doing better now, after some time away from my online persona, and of course spending time with my beloved girlfriend, I see things much more clearly now.

Thank you to anyone who read this and much so appreciate those who understand where I’m coming from

Also now that I think of it can my stuff be considered as lost media now? Amazing! But please don’t be sad the fun I had was genuine!

Thank you again to those who genuinely enjoyed my content on tiktok but it’s time for me to try my hand at something new, I will still be dwelling in my creative headspace just.. away from public for now,

if you’re looking forward for my future post, make sure to check out my YouTube! I still have a lot I need to cook hehe, this is one of the few!

More post soon, Bye bye! -Q

[wtftaylr]

About Me

Taylor ◢ 25 ◢ Transmasc Butch he/she ◢ Acespec

Hi hi I'm Taylor, certified benny gecko apologist, welcome to my cesspool (art blog). I fucking love Las Vegas (I've never been there so I live vicariously thru Safiya Nygaard videos)

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Commissions: Open via Ko-Fi!! Art Trades: Open to Mutuals regardless if we've spoken or not, feel free to ask any time <3 Trello Queue

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Fandoms & Interests

Games: Fallout (New Vegas primarily), Red Dead Redemption 2, Mouthwashing, Pokemon, Skyrim, UTDR, Stardew Valley, Resident Evil

Shows: Top Gear/The Grand Tour (will watch anything w Clarkson, May, & Hammond), King of the Hill, Arcane, Gravity Falls, Morel Orel

Internet Things: SCP Foundation, Mystery Flesh Pit National Park

Music: Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Rammstein, Atomic Life, Chappell Roan, L'Impératrice, Lindemann, Flogging Molly, Rainbow, The Kinks, The Pogues, Gotye, Sabrina Carpenter, and many many many many many many more. I listen to all types of things

Youtube: Game Grumps, Safiya Nygaard, RTGame, penguinz0, CallMeKevin, Daz Games (and many many many more but these are the primary channels i watch <3)

[babymorte]

Hey pal as much as I enjoy your tumblr with everything going on it may be best to just take a lil break from socials? It seems like you kinda can't win on this front and give that you owe everyone here fuck all it may just be for the best!

i know you're right but honestly im not here for anyone other than myself. like i appreciate people following me and some posts are like open for discussion like obviously i enjoy talking to people and i people im friends with on here but this is...or was a place for me to just look at pretty pictures and just vent when i dont really have a way to otherwise. people are just so entitled they really do think every girl on the internet is posting for them or about them or for attention or whatever like i never made this account with intention for it to have a lot of followers or anything i've had this account since i was like 15 n its always just been my space to be me and escape shit. i guess this is just expected when you're a girl on the internet and most people dont talk about this sort of thing happening to them because its just easier to ignore but i just cant ignore it because it shouldnt be happening. especially when its men old enough to be my father like that just icks me out so much.

i dont know i already dont go on ig other than to look at a few friends stories sometimes cuz my comments and inbox because a literal cesspool of disgusting men n i really dont wanna not come on here cuz i do love it here....i just wish people had a little more tact.

[cantstayawaycani]

Trigger warning for casual racism, sexual content and violence. Most of the content is in Spanish though.

Yes the international community is missing a lot of details and hopefully will be more supportive of thr victims afterwards.

https://twitter.com/LayBb_/status/1330730517839265794

https://laverdadnoticias.com/espectaculos/MeToo-Tenoch-Huerta-actor-en-Narcos-Mexico-es-senalado-por-acoso-sexual-20190329-0030.html

https://www.infobae.com/america/mexico/2022/11/30/tenoch-huerta-confeso-que-los-juegos-sexuales-que-practica-son-deliciosos/

(golden showers/watersports and scat/dirty rimming )

https://twitter.com/TenochHuerta/status/1434276962936180742

Comparing a politician to a gorilla/monkey via reblog

https://www.enelradar.com/chismes/Aseguran-que-Tenoch-Huerta-mantuvo-una-relacion-con-la-mujer-de-un-politico-20221125-0017.html

https://www.tvynovelas.com/amp/famosos/Acusan-a-Tenoch-Huerta-de-haber-sido-infiel-y-aprovechado-20221117-0008.html

Other accusations :

https://www.infobae.com/mexico/2023/06/13/actriz-fernanda-tosky-acusa-a-tenoch-huerta-no-fue-respetuoso-en-lo-sexual/

There is rumors he sleeps with some fans and is generally a womanizer (also why his dms were open and thirst traps) . Mexicans citizens might have more local details.

He sleeps with light women and hides his internalised racism and classism (other Mexican tweets will appear). Self interested performative activism.

11 women die a day in Mexico, the world has a huge problem with feminicide and misogyny sadly.

I'm also disappointed and hurt that such a man became an inspiration for so many woc/poc.

You seem a lovely human being. I'm sorry for the details. Support anti colorist and anti racism women 🙏🏾

I need to work my way through this, but thanks for sending.

The internet is a cesspool so I truly hope these are credible sources.

Also, apologies, but I do not consider Twitter a source of factual information when it comes to stuff like this, unless by an accredited journalist who has done SOME investigation work.

But I will read through this as objectively as possible.

It may not seem like it, but I am extremely pro woman, especially irl.

[labyrinthofsphinx]

Statistical Outliers

Working on my next little comic, so I figured I'd post a short drabble in the meantime.

Time is everything. It was everything when he was alive, and it’s been everything since he died. The only thing that’s changed is now he was the one that determined time. The citizenship of hell held only two real concepts of time, which is probably why there’s plenty of old badgers still holed up in their ways. First was, of course, the need to keep track on the way to doomsday. The yearly extermination was held on the same day, every year, so it became a timepiece as a consequence rather than by any actual effort. On the other hand, the second was very much an invention of his own.

TV had a way of warping time. When he was alive and doing something similar, people would work their days around the TV because it was only on for a certain amount of time, and there were only a few things worth watching. But, for that hour basis, it was the most drawing thing in the world. Things have changed obviously, now TV shows play all day. People still checked their clocks for the start of their favorite program. The internet and cellphones constantly show the time, even if as more of a background piece to the dramas that play out behind the screen. People are absorbed by media now. They couldn’t escape it entirely. Their time was his plaything and the more time they spent obsessing over his empire, the more control he had.

Of course, with Heaven’s little hunting safari out of the way, his became the only time relevant to the cesspool down here. And most of his own time was spent cultivating that: talks shows, game shows, news, commercials, streaming platforms, you name it.

Time may be something he stole from others, but perhaps only because he had so precious little of it himself.

So, time was important to him. And when someone or something wastes his time, well…

 He glanced across his screen, the blue light from the aquarium getting lost in the blue light of the devices. They glared off his face, itself a screen, and reflected off too bright to see much of anything. And Val wonders why this room is always so dark. He turned down the brightness again.

The leftmost screens were devoted to Val, his studio, and his workers. Not that he liked staring at those while shooting, mind you. There was only so much of that that anyone could watch and still be productive. Still, he noted, he really needed to get an electrician over there. You’d think spending all this time literally surrounded by devices, Val would’ve learned something about electrical outlet safety. But, he supposed Val wouldn’t bother. Just like he never had to worry about how he was going to get his films distributed, or edited, or formatted. He had Vox for that, after all.

Because Valentino’s problems were ultimately Vox’s problems.

Right next to Val’s studio on his surveillance was Velvette’s designer pad. He enjoyed watching her in the background of his day, barking orders and snapping people in line. You’d think she’d been the top of fashion when she was alive too, the way she acted. He had to remind himself that she wasn’t actually as old as him or Val sometimes. Other times though, well, her age showed. She played the game of likes and shares. She didn’t play the game of politics. Why in hell did he ask her to attend the overlord meeting again? She hadn’t even had the courtesy of explaining just what went wrong, only that the meeting was full of outdated morons, half of which should be wearing adult diapers. So, yeah, that hadn’t panned out well. And, no, he didn’t try to correct her either. She wouldn’t listen on a good day. And why should she? She was the one whose opinions mattered. Everyone else can shove it. Or, rather, Vox was in charge of making sure other people shoved it, or themselves, off a cliff.

Because Velvette’s problems were Vox’s problems too.

His own office and set were up there as well. It was a little redundant, sure, but he’s always insisted on the extra security. Or maybe it was his own obsession with having to have eyes on everything at all times. Hard to tell, really.

It all seemed so sterile compared to the messes that were Val and Vel’s setups. Even in the midst of a show, it was mostly just him, either plugged in and projecting or sitting behind a chair talking. Any other people in his space were either there for a short segment, or part of the backstage cronies he employs to keep things running smoothly. Sometimes he’d have one of the others up there as well, usually for promotional work: ‘Voxtec presents Valentino’s newest project’ or ‘Velvette’s new perfume line’. Something of that ilk. He wasn’t just the face of the Vees, he was the one advertising them, keeping time set to them.

But if it was a Voxtec product that didn’t involve them? Nope, wasn’t their problem.

Because Vox’s problems were Vox’s problems only.

So, he wasn’t at all surprised that his newest problem, the most recent waste of time, was shown to him sitting on his couch watching re-runs.

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5/ Part 6/ Part 7/ Part 8/ Part 9/ Part 10

[iamanathemadevice]

A really long, excellent post about what's happening with Reddit and why, including how LLM companies scraping its hosted material has massively increased server costs for the company, but the way Reddit has chosen to solve the issue is just the worst option.

And also this:

Reddit is the only major social media company that relies almost entirely on unpaid, volunteer moderators to enforce the rules of its site. On the one hand, it’s an example of a multibillion-dollar corporation getting free labor. On the other hand, Reddit is such a good, human-feeling website because it relies on an moderation model more reminiscent of old internet forums where moderators are entrenched in their communities and, rather than simply enforcing a set of uniform rules handed down from a giant corporation, are helping to grow and shape the communities that they're a part of.  

Even if many moderators like what they do and enjoy some of the power that comes with moderating and guiding a community, they bring unmistakeable monetary value to Reddit the corporation. Li was the lead author of a paper published last year that found Reddit moderators work at least a collective 466 hours per day, which would cost Reddit a minimum of $3.4 million a year at a wage of $20/hour. 

This $3.4 million number isn’t an estimate of the actual value those moderators bring to Reddit, however. Li wrote that these moderators essentially make Reddit a “viable” website and business. Notably, the company was valued at more than $10 billion in 2021. 

“There’s this question of what is a fair value exchange between online volunteers and companies that might rely only on volunteer cases,” Li said. “We traditionally think of all this volunteer work as a labor of love. But at the same time, this is really valuable labor for companies, and the moderators go through so much stress and pressure, and trauma to do this work.”

The only reason Reddit is able to sell any ads at all is because their moderators and the communities they've created prevent (most) of the site from becoming a cesspool. 

What Reddit is doing with its API is somewhat hypocritical, then. Huffman says that Reddit is not profitable. He also says that third party companies should not be able to make money from Reddit while Reddit itself subsidizes them in the form of API access. This may be the case with AI companies that make billions and do not add any value to Reddit. But with third-party apps and mod tools, this argument breaks down. 

Some third-party apps make money, but they also bring Reddit more users and increase the company’s cultural relevancy and strengthen its communities. There is no guarantee that people who previously used third-party apps will suddenly start using the clunky official app once those apps go away. More importantly, apps like Apollo make moderating Reddit easier because of the moderation tools that have been built on top of it. In this sense, Apollo is providing a service to Reddit by making life easier for its moderators who, again, are unpaid. 

Reddit makes money from user content, volunteer moderators, and third party apps make it easier for them to make money. So of course, they are shitting on users, moderators, and third party app makers :(

So, so stupid.

[ahleezeruinavt]

Anyone who uses Undertale as the base measurement for "bad fandom" I swear has never experienced what an actually bad fandom is like. I have made an icerberg picture to sort of explain what I mean.

Undertale was kind of a victim of a really bad game of internet telephone. Where it was "Some people are being weird -> The community is weird -> The community is a cesspool of toxicity" which was just really strange given the fact that Undertale was mainly just an assortment of AUs with a few very entitled people in it. People's personal issues just got made public and since they were involved with the fandom that suddenly meant the whole fandom was like that. FNAF similarly had it's rotten people in it and like- one AU is all it got popular for in terms of its bad rep. Then we move down a level to more "ship war" type of places. RWBY and MHA are NOTORIOUS for their ship wars. You can breathe in the direction of someone who ships something like Bakugo x Deku and all of the sudden your twitter account is gone because of mass reporting. Some of you may not remeber Google+ but oh man. The RWBY fandom there? It was something. If you didn't ship Bumblebee get ready for a world of hate. I personally never shipped it and oh boy if I voiced that it was war in my notifications. I thought the relationship felt out of place.

Moving to Overwatch and Soulsborne, it's a lot of pretentiousness. Not necesarrily horrible but a lot of pretentiousness. Overwatch is also full of a lot of sexism and racism in its communities on top of the pretentiiousness. No one can agree on anything when it comes to balancing heroes. If you're a woman in high elo you're boosted, if you're in low elo then you're just a wannabe e-girl. Soulsborne suffers from people conflating "accesibility features" with "Easy mode" which tends to drive people away from the games. Moving down another level, you have Anime Power Scalers and Warhammer. Power scalers are kind of the bane of the existence of any community. They suck the fun out of a lot of things and tend to spread their way into other communities. Everyone knows of the "who would win Goku or Superman" and the fights that break out over it get oddly extreme sometimes? Warhammer (and this is coming from my friend who is in the fandom who helped me make this) tends to be very stuck up about figurines. And a lot of it is complaining about not having figurines. Also from what I've seen from one of my other Warhammer mutuals is the lack of self awareness about the subject matter and bigotry is often ignored in the community. Lastly we have the "your home address, work place, and family photos are now on the internet" type of fandoms (idol includes corporate vtubers, and kpop and jpop fans). If you disagree with ANYONE or criticize anything, get ready to lock all of your social media. Not only do they suffer from general bigotry but also the fact that any sort of differing opinion will get you harassed. DC's is anything about Synder. Marvel is anything about literally any woman character. I have seen the nuclear fallout of the aftermath of kpop fans or vtuber fans doxxing people for breathing near their fave. We're talking locked accounts and everything.

[lahooozaherr]

I’m posting this here because I want to gather my thoughts on it somewhere but….

I do empathize with those who are pressuring celebs to say more. To an extent. There are celebs higher up on the “food chain” that would probably receive less consequences than others for speaking out (or not idk I could be wrong, it’s just my observation). But it’s obvious now that most of the time they’ve been receiving some kind of consequence and they’re not entirely immune to it.

I mainly empathize because when speaking out about this lately I’ve felt almost alone, like I’m screaming into a void. I know I’m not REALLY alone in it, especially on company I keep on social media. Also, with the way the media has been, suppression of Pro-Palestinian sentiment (suspecting this is happening on my insta), etc.

HOWEVER….

As I’ve seen similar opinions on here, I agree that we can’t rely on famous people to save us and do the work. Would having their voice help? Sure, but when they actually know what they’re talking about and not contributing to the cesspool of misinformation.

But that isn’t a reason to become complacent and not do our own work. Celebrities have always disappointed us and will continue to.

In regard to Pedro, we don’t know and we may never really know what his situation is. I don’t personally feel like it’s our business, like I do with all things in his personal life! As much as I love him, and even I hope someday we get to hear his voice on things again, he’s not going to save us. I’m not going to ride hard on celebs having exceptions, but they’re human as well and just as fallible. Although, I did want to point out that:

Pedro and his family were political refugees. I’d like to think (I’m not assuming or asserting either) that he has an idea of what he’s doing. We can’t act like he hasn’t been in these shoes somewhat before, or at least seen it through his parents.

He now has several siblings in spotlights and gaining notoriety aside from him. I’m sure he considers their safety just as much as any of us would with our own families.

He might also be very popular on the internet and wanted for all kinds of projects, but he doesn’t have the influence some prominent figures do. I’ve seen this factor pointed out in several posts as well. Pedro is definitely someone that isn’t immune to the backlash he could receive.

I understand with all of this, everything going on, is extremely difficult to witness and try to reconcile with on the inside. I know I’m probably just repeating what many have already said and fumbling over myself a little. I don’t (or at least no longer) subscribe to a lot of celeb culture and have learned to no longer look to them for things like this. It doesn’t make it any less frustrating when they don’t use their voices. But I just don’t think it’s that black and white. Although I usually err to not feel bad for rich people.

SO! With that being said, I’m feeling the pain as well. It’s been very difficult for me to learn how to mourn and feel like I’m not losing my mind over Gaza and how too many people are not treating it as serious as it is. Or don’t see how connected we all really are (nor do I ever assert that my pain could even compare to Palestinians and those with more proximity to the situation).

But we’re privileged with free speech ourselves (I say that with a shakey hand gesture in some cases). It’s our duty to use it for those who can’t and, if anything, especially when celebs or figures with more of a platform can’t or won’t.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly describe the pain I know a lot of us feel over this. I understand how easy it is to react rather than respond, become angry (a lot of the anger in general is valid), to get wrapped up in the online politics over whose saying or not saying what.

But the best thing we can do about it is to do that work ourselves.

I’m lowkey nervously posting this because I don’t typically write up posts like this on here but I’m trying to move past that discomfort. I know it’s just another layer of white supremacy to not say or do anything for fear of not getting it right the first time. I’m sure there’s many good points against what I’ve said and I do my best to continue to be an “always evolving and learning” kind of person.

But just to bring it back to what I’m saying: we have free speech and can use it, and we should. Our words have power even when we don’t feel like they do. Maybe sometimes I empathize to my detriment (working on that lol) but I digress.

We can’t rely on celebs to do it all for us. ACTUALLY, we need that energy focused on our elected officials. Because if anything, this is an even BIGGER mask off moment for them. That’s a whole other problem I won’t get into on here, but still.

If you read this and write me off as just trying to justify silence for my fave celeb, then you’re allowed to have that opinion. If I’m ever proven wrong I have no problem owning up to that. I’m just not waiting around for them to say something before I do.

[sparkling-pink-lemonade]

Ok, gotta give my steak in the whole recent drama regarding AO3 and irl politics. Voicing my thoughts on a post made by the republican organization "Children and Screens".

(discussions of proship/profic vs anti ideology, censorship, media "brainwashing" children, what "fiction does not affect reality on a 1:1 scale" means to me, social analysis/commentary, long post)

There is no "TLDR", so if you struggle with large paragraphs, I highly suggest using a screen reader.

So first things first, if you are unaware of the recent drama about the republican politician, Audrey, running to join the OTW board, and what that means, I'd suggest looking it up for details. Other people said it better than I could. But the idea is that she could potentially make AO3 go down the same rabbit hole as FF.net. And she is the lead of "Children and Screens", an organization that self proclaims advocacy for the safety of children regarding media consumption.

While I don't use the toxic cesspool that is Twitter, I've been made aware of a post CaS has made, featured below. (Alt text for image available)

After reading the snippet, I had to fucking LAUGH at the irony before groaning at the hypocrisy. And by that, I don't mean the hypocrisy of CaS. More so the implications regarding the rampancy of antis and purity culture in social media within these past few years.

Proship is the belief that all fiction has a right to exist and be shared, so long as proper warnings are given. Anything portrayed within a fictional setting has no direct impact on reality, and thus does not portray what is considered okay in real life. Because of that, harassing others for the media they create is never okay. If you don't like something, block it and move on.

Antis believe that fiction they find morally reprehensible is a direct portrayal of the author's beliefs, and is very dangerous to share in any capacity as it may traumatize others, or lead to the normalization of dangerous behavior in real life. Therefor it's not only okay, but encouraged to seek out and harass creators of problematic fiction in hopes to either get them to see the error of their ways, or delete their creations and leave the platform entirely, thus making the internet a "safer" place.

Both are centered on the idea of "does fiction affect reality?"

And as a proshipper, I'm of the stance that fiction does not affect reality on a 1:1 scale. What does that mean?

Well, let's say that the antis are right, and fiction has a major impact on reality. Upon the knowledge that this quote CaS provides up, provides a HUGE sense of irony. Why? Because the post is literally describing the behavior of anti culture. From a very young age (because we all know that most kids have seen a pg 13 movie before they turned 13, especially with how huge the superhero genre is), these people have been brainwashed by media to engage in violent behaviors in the name of morality.

If most of the violence portrayed in pg 13 media is perpetuated by the heroes, and excused away with "it's okay when the heroes do it, because they are morally superior, so their actions are justified." Then because the violence isn't excessively gory and bloody, kids don't have to contemplate whether or not the heroes used excessive force or have gone too far to subdue the villain.

So when antis grow up on these violent pieces of fiction, it has normalized the idea that it is okay for them to attack those "nasty proshippers" because the media they made is morally bad. So by using extreme harassment, violent threats, and other excessive means to bully someone, they are protecting the greater good, while being free from seeing the gruesome consequences of their actions on the other side of the screen.

It's so fucking ironic, because this sense of justice they have is such self centered moral superiority. If you ask an anti what media is considered okay, and what is problematic, while you will get inconsistent answers, for the most part there will be a similar theme. Anything sexual or romantic in nature that could be considered unhealthy or dangerous if acted upon in real life, is harmful and evil. But any acts of violence or aggression that could be considered unhealthy or dangerous if acted upon in real life, well clearly everyone knows that stuff isn't okay IRL, people are nuanced enough to enjoy these themes in fiction without condoning the real world equivalent.

If these people are right about problematic behavior in media influencing young audience members, while claiming that media doesn't encourage violence in its audience members since it doesn't "glorify it", it only proves that they are ignorant to how media has irreversibly "brainwashed" them like they so claim is possible.

But if we acknowledge that fiction doesn't affect reality on a 1:1 scale, then what? If it isn't all the "gross" media that makes and exposes deviants and sexual offenders, if it isn't all the "violent" media that makes people into self righteous harassers, then what is it?

It's the other people in our life. Our role models, our friends. And the chain that forms from it. You're a kid, and you never heard what Call of Duty was. What you do know is that your dear parents you love have greatly expressed that gun violence is bad. Even holding one is horrible because you are now in possession of a weapon that can take a human life, and one accident is all it takes for you to be a murderer. You should never even think about wanting to hold a gun because that is the first step to something going horribly wrong. Your friend at school hasn't had any sort of lecture like that before, they know guns are dangerous obviously, so as long as they aren't actively using a real gun against other people, no harm is being done. So when their favorite youtuber starts showing gameplay of Call of Duty, they end up loving the game, and are excited to tell you about it the next day. When they tell you all about it, you think of what your parents have said, and you are horrified your friend could do something as horrible as like a game that has guns in it. You cut them off, and tell your other friends. Your other friends really admire and respect you, and with no previous thought on the matter, they take your side. They spread it to their friends and siblings, and so on and so forth. Until many who weren't even aware or had any major opinions of their own are now against the idea of first person shooters existing.

Of course the example I used is extreme. No one but pearl clutching parents and their five year olds who repeat what they say are gonna be preaching that first person shooters are turning kids into murderers.

But when it comes to fiction, the more controversial the subject is, the more shock value it has, the more likely that scenario above is. And it's even worse now that the internet is more and more accessible to the entire world, including children who don't have any positive role models in their life. They are consuming large amounts of media, and most of their exposure is from online friends and influencers who spread that media, and how their role models interact with that media. Therefor it's not fiction itself that affects reality, it's how people choose to interact with it.

And reality check... you know who is exposing all this "disgusting" problematic stuff to kids? Is it the people who make it and share it in a positive manner with proper warnings and disclaimers so no one can accidentally see it? Or is it the people who saw the content anyways, and became so disgusted that they feel the need to spread it around so that everyone they know is aware of how awful this person and the fiction they create is?

Fiction only affects reality if people make a big enough deal out of it. With the opinions of a few people being mutilated, morphed, and added upon as it spreads in a grotesque game of internet telephone.

[natsmagi]

It's incredibly tough because we no longer have social media that's suitable for fandom interactions the way livejournal was. Individual journals + interest communities which could be easily locked/unlocked as you wanted. People had to search out what they wanted etc. Twitter and tumblr just can't do it (and let's not even mention tiktok)

ITS KIND OF SAD......... i was never really on livejournal when i was younger bc i was like 10 and did not know what the internet was capable of offering but even just being on deviantart in the early 2010s gave me a strong sense of community and support...... just a bunch of hobbyists doing their own little things and joining those groups deviantart had was alot of fun for lil kid me!

the best substitute we've got for livejournal these days is like. discord. but thats so annoying especially when theyre specifically locking content behind a discord invite since many of us may not even know if we vibe there!! and its intimidating to be thrown into a group chat with people who already have established bonds ONTOP of not even knowing if youll get along😭

while i think tumblr is relatively good for fandom posting and such i definitely wouldnt call it the best place to make friends with similar interests...... since its hard to really like. have actual conversations with people on here since the ask feature is pretty one-sided, tags arent meant to be responded to a majority of the time, the comments feature barely gets used and the dms system is wonky as hell. and twitter is just a cesspool of reactionary people who dont think before they tweet and are just waiting to make their next callout post, but god is it a good place to hold a conversation and bond with people................ you just cant win these days huh