#the inspectors hoard

[inspector-m3]

Bio thingy

hey im inspector me you can call me inspector for short or whatever tbh. I write a bunch of random stuff. im getting ready for university so i can't promise reliable or regular updates but my asks are always open! You can ask me pretty much anything unless it's too much into my irl life (like what school did you go to and stuff like that, things like my favourite animal or trivial stuff is fine :] )

you are welcome to ask for requests as long as it follows the rough guidelines below, if you're not sure ask anyways and I'll let you know!

What I do

Male Reader

gender neutral reader

anime

haikyuu

jjk (jujitsu kaisen) ((I've only watched the anime))

black clover

blue exorcist

one piece (currently on episode 212 but I've already had a few spoilers lol)

demon slayer

hxh

dorohedoro

dan da dan

T.V

Merlin (BBC)

Titans (DC show)

The Boys (haven't finished yet but im almost done i think)

Books

Percy Jackson (im not as involved with the fandom and I've only read the basic series)

Skulduggery pleasant

Half bad (Bastard son of the devil himself) (both the show and the books)

What I dont do

rape (i feel like i shouldn't have to write this but ive seen a few things on this site so y'know)

paedophilia

incest (of any kind)

male pregnancy (it's just not my cuppa)

Abuse (makes me kinda uncomfortable to write characters like that)

Fem reader (im not a woman, i did try to write it but it just felt off to me, if you really want me to write something with Fem reader and it hasn't got much to do with plot i might be able to do it but if not it'll just be GN)

I might have to add a few if I get any more requests but for now this is it.

If you want something that isn't mentioned on here dont be afraid to ask or even just chat. I watch a lot of anime and other medias and i dont mind researching something just to write it for you.

My boundaries

I dont really have much lmao. i dont mind swearing or dark humour just remember to be respectful :] i won't tolerate any racism, homophobia or anything like that.

also, since im new im still figuring out tags so my apologies if i tag something wrong, let me know and I'll fix it asap!

my tags:

the inspectors hoard - just reblogs of cool stuff or random shit.

the inspector thinks - drabbles, head cannons, random thoughts.

the inspector writes - writing obviously.

the inspectors interrogation - responding to asks.

the inspectors rants - unrelated to writing, just me talking about random stuff.

[inspector-m3]

irish skeleton in a suit with old fashioned revolvers

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[raining-anonymously]

right, okay, so i’m thinking maybe after all that eldritch nonsense, and that sudden immortality, and maybe a few hundred years on the Aurora, and the eventual acquiring of an accordion, maybe then Lyf can start enjoying themself

ID in alt text!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

LET THEM FEAST

This piece was inspired by this Mickey Mouse cartoon as well as this early episode from Spongebob.

So tell me, do you wanna go?

The cafeteria doors parted, swinging open as any other door would—but to Fellow and Gidel, it was as if the gates to heaven were welcoming them. Humming chatter and the smells of delicious foods churned out from beyond. Deeply inhaling, tasting the aromas in the back of one’s throat, made their bodies light and floaty, as if hunger had made them weightless.

They followed a hoard of uniformed boys with trays, drifting to buffet stations loaded with dishes they could only dream of. Slabs of roast beef dripping with mushroom gravy, racks od lamb, game birds with crisped skin, fish glistening with herb butter, steaming stews with vegetables bobbing in a sea of rich broth, fluffy rice, cakes sliced wide and trifles stacked tall. The paper-thin slice of bread and beans they had for supper had never looked quite so sorry.

Gidel didn’t notice that his mouth was agape and slick with saliva until a cane tucked under his chin and closed it for him. Fellow pulled the young boy close, a hand on his arm as he wildly gestured to the waiting delicacies.

“Take a gander, Giddie! All that food’s free and ours for the taking!!” he chirped. “Ready your fork and knife, we’re going to eat like kings today!”

Arm in arm, the duo dove into the bar, grabbing as much as they reasonably could. Generous scoops of mashed potato, the biggest pieces of meat, plenty of sauce, the largest loaves. Gidel rushed about with an apple crammed into his mouth and Fellow snuck oyster crackers into his breast pocket (as a late-night snack).

While their plates piled higher and higher, the mob students grew more irritable. Elbowing them out of the way, snatching up popular itwms, and taking far more than their share had the tendency to invoke ire. The mobs casted dirty looks at Fellow and Gidel, others raising their voices at the kitchen.

“Oi, where’s the refill of tomato soup? I’ve been waitin’ for forever over here!”

“When’re the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggies gonna be done…”

“I’m so hungry I could eat a whole horse. What’s the damn hold up?!”

“Be patient, boys!” a ghost chef callee back. He grunted as he hailed a vat of curry off of the stove. “It takes time to prepare the food.”

“They’re ravenous today,” remarked the lead chef. “Wonder what’s going on. We normally don’t have to prepare this much.”

By this time, Fellow (trailed by Gidel) had pushed his way to the front of the crowd. He set down his tray (the tower of food upon it wobbling, threatening to collapse) and waved enthusiastically at the chefs.

“Afternoon, gents! How’s it going? Looks to me like you’re hard at work feeding all these wayward souls.”

“Oh, um. Just fine, thank you.” The head chef blinked. He liked to think that he recognized all of the students and staff that came into his dining room, but he was drawing a total blank with Fellow and Gidel. “Er… Sorry, are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you boys before.”

“Fufu, that’s right. We’re new to these parts.”

“They ain’t even students,” an angry mob student behind him piped up.

The lead chef startled. Worry crumpled his round, marshamallowy face. “Oh dear, not students? The buffet is only open to them and staff.” He glanced at Fellow’s pickings. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to return all that.”

Anger and annoyance shot through the fox beastman. Tch…! Those NRC brats, looking down on me! Why should they get to gorge themselves on this stuff while the rest of us beg for their scraps?!

He reached down and gripped Gidel’s hand, giving the young boy a reassuring squeeze. Gidel offered a sleepy grin back.

Watch this. I’ll turn this entire situation around and have them eating out of the palm of my hand.

He let out a theatrical gasp, then summoned his most charming smile. “My bad, I forgot to introduce myself! You see, I am a health inspector sent by the Department of Magic Education to evaluate your menu! Gidel here’s my trusty assistant.”

The leader of the ghost chefs scratched his head. “Huh? Is that what a health inspector does…?”

“Of course, or cooourse! All a part of the job description, my friend.” Fellow indicated his absurd amount of food. “They’re looking to implement new standards for magic school menus—and where better to look at as a model for reference than THE famous Night Raven College? The education it offers is elite, so the meals it offers must be elite as well! That’s why they’ve sent us to try one of everything, to evaluate the quality of your wares.”

Gidel bobbed his head. (He had little clue what he was actually agreeing with, but he agreed nevertheless.)

“Come ON, you don’t seriously buy this crap, do you?” a mob student groaned. “The old fart’s clearly lying!!”

Other voices joined him, but they all fell upon deaf ears. The head chef’s eyes sparkled, his pasty white cheeks rosy with excitement.

“Oooooh, why didn’t you say so sooner?! W-We will absolutely do everything in our power to accommodate your needs, Sir Health Inspector!” He turned to his kitchen staff. “Isn’t this so exciting, everyone? We’ll be the first group of ghosts to receive a fancy accolade after death!”

A murmur of approval weaved through the kitchen. The dining room, however, erupted into a fresh round of protests.

“You’re joking!!”

“That’s such an obvious lie.”

“How can you believe that bullcrap?!”

Keheheh, never underestimate the power of this Fellow Honest-sama’s silver tongue 🎶 I didn’t even need to use my unique magic to cut to the front of the line. Some people are just born suckers and stay suckers in the afterlife.

He smirked, giving a triumphant twirl of his cane. “Sorry, folks! You snooze, you lose. We get first dibs on everything~”

“Hah?! What’d ya just say to me?” A vein bulged on a Savanaclaw student’s forehead. He was about double Fellow’s width and rippling with muscle. “Like hell you are!”

“The way you talk is pissin’ me off!!” chimed in a Diasomnia student. He drew his baton and aimed it at Fellow. “I oughta shut you up for good!”

The idea was a seed, taking root and festering among his peers. Other students were producing their own magical pens, out of pockets and from inside vests.

Fellow paled, balking but keeping himself between the mobs and Gidel. “H-Hey now, can’t we talk this over? Violence doesn’t solve everything, you know!”

“YES IT DOES,” the mobs retorted—in unison for once. Hungry and angry, a terrible combination.

Gidel whimpered. No sound, but Fellow could sense it in the way the boy retreated into his coat. A free hand found its way to the small of Gidel’s back, keeping him upright.

Don’t let them see you like that. Weak, downtrodden. It’s letting them have the moral victory.

His grin widened. He was a fox looking to sink his teeth into unsuspecting prey.

“Why spend your youth grumpy and causing trouble? You should lighten up, live a little, laugh a little. Here, I’ll show you how. Just follow me! Come on to the Theater!! Life is Fun!!”

Fellow spun his cane, releasing a light shower of sparkles upon the crowd. They floated down, popping like popping on their skin. Eyes glazed over, twisted expressions slackened.

“Now then!!” Fellow, raised his cane like a baton, still spinning as he conducted his herd. He, poised as the ringleader. “Right this way, right this way, gentlemen! Let’s have a lively parade to the courtyard on this fine day!”

“The weather is nice today…”

“Coach said I need to get more exercise in.”

“I’ve been stressed about classes, I need to take this break.”

Marching—one, two, one, two—Fellow led the procession out of the cafeteria. He belted out a tune as he ushered students through the exit.

“Hi-diddle-dee-dee, actor's life for me!”

(Gidel pranced in and out of the line of students, reaching into pockets and retrieving miscellaneous items. Pencils, a keychain, spare change. He stashed them under his hat.)

“A high silk hat and a silver cane, a watch of gold with a diamond chain!”

When the last student was gone, Fellow made a U-turn and rushed back into the cafeteria, slamming the doors behind him. He dropped his smile, letting it shatter like a porcelain teacup and not bothering to salvage the remains.

“Sheesh, they’re finally out of my fur!” Fellow sighed deeply. “Those rotten kids really had to make me work hard for my meal...”

Gidel scrambled over to him, pulling out the various items he had clumsily pilfered. Look what I got! he seemed to say.

Fellow brightened, ruffling the child’s messy brown mop. “Atta boy, Giddie! We sure showed those snooty rich kids what for, eh?”

At that moment, the head chef bursted out of the kitchen juggling a tray of apple strudel. He was followed by several other ghosts, each carrying a new dish.

“Sorry for the wait, here’s the… Huh?” The head chef glanced around the nearly empty cafeteria, his brows knitting. “Where did everybody go?”

“Must’ve gone out for a stroll Fine by me, they’re letting us get right down to business,” Fellow laughed, clapping a hand on Gidel’s shoulder. “C’mon, that’s enough excitement for one day. Let’s dig in!”

[justgarb]

I just gotta say I am so proud of my wife. She pestered the hell out of me at work with video calls, needing tech support for fixing and rethreading my sewing machine.

This is what I came home to.

A free-sewn mermaid tail pajama/sleep sack in fleece, using my fabric hoard, made for my daughter. This is insane. I would have taken DAYS to plan this and get the guts to put it together

This is the same woman who's recipes are "whatever, whatever" but makes the some of the best food I've ever tasted and tells me she doesn't know how to cook. Who did I marry, and what did I do to deserve her? I kind of feel like the chief inspector from Hot Fuzz.

[inspector-m3]

i must test this... hit me with that doot doot

i need sleep •

ha?

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

[inthegoodbooks]

the house in the cerulean sea (review)

This was such a cute book, as I’m sure anyone on here would be very quick to tell me - and it was exactly what I needed after finishing Robin Hobb’s fabulous (but quite dense) The Farseer Trilogy.

In this book, we meet Linus Baker: a real rule follower with a bit of a stick up his butt, whilst also having a heart of pure gold. When he is assigned a level 4 Classified case in his job as an orphanage inspector (essentially) he gets far more than he bargained for… but it ends up being precisely what he needs.

The cast of characters that Klune introduces us to are such a wonderful balance of cooky, clever and compelling. From little Lucy, the Antichrist (not a word used in the orphanage), to Sal the were-Pomeranian… Talia, the female, bearded, garden gnome, to Theodore the button-hoarding wyvern… Chauncy, a jelly-like creature that no one knows the origin of (apart from the fact that he really really wants to be a bellhop!) Phee, the forest sprite… and of course: Arthur. Klune’s creations paint such an endearing image: one I am sure will not leave my mind for a long, long time.

Add to this the fantastically realistic (despite its fantastical setting and elements) queer representation and you know I am just absolutely 100% here. For. It.

Bravo, TJ Klune, 4.75 stars for you.

[ab--n]

HAAAPY HALLOWSEVE .. I LOVE YOUR ART, IM GOING TO WRAP IT UP IN A BLANKET, PUT IT IN A BASKET AND SEND IT FLOATING DOWN THE STREAM IN THE MIDDLE OF A DARK, RAINY, COLD NIGHT. HAVING TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY BABY (your art) BECAUSE IM BEING CHASED BY A HOARD OF CONSERVATIVES WITH THEIR PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES… MY BABY (your art) WILL END UP BEING TAKEN IN BY SOME POPE THREE TOWNS OVER AND GET RAISED BY HIM, UNTIL THE POPE DOES AND MY BABY (your art) SETS OFF TO FIND ME ONLY TO FIGURE OUT THAT I AM IN FACT DEAD WITH A TOMBSTONE SAYING “Dead Liberal number 1027”. MY BABY (your art) WILL END UP DESTROYING CONSERVATIVES AND SAVING THE WORLD IN MY HONOUR…..

But yea uh happy Halloween :33!!

𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓶𝓮…? 👨‍❤️‍👨

(This is a joke, please,… or is it?)

Happy Halloween to you too Dj!! and no. (To the proposal) As a thank you here's some facts about my fangan cast lol

-Micheal Sebasi(Ultimate Mortician) is unable to leave their hair alone, he as bleached it so many times that at this point, it unsalvageable.

-Sean Denis's (Ultimate Baker) beta designs portrayed him as an albino. (He was shot too once.)

-Khali Abdullahi(Ultimate Meteorologist) is colorblind, she only found this out when she realized that Micheal hair is not in fact piss yellow but light green.

-Momo Ciani (Ultimate Safety Inspector) shouldn't be allowed to touch any animal because that poor thing might die due to his strong grip.

-Nikki Paltrovien(Ultimate mathematician) can watch human centipede without flinching or gagging at all.

-Terrence Alexander (Ultimate child caretaker) was a former gang member and has a criminal record.

-Diana Bahlog(Ultimate Executioner) is somewhat resistant to ingesting cleaning supplies.

-Kiyozi Tomoka (Ultimate Ice skater) is incredibly sassy in his native tongue and has shit talks about the rest of his classmates to his older sister.

-Tophy Anderson's (Ultimate Bassist) bandmates are her childhood friends and helped her go no contact with her family. (She lives with her younger and older brother.)

-Sam Keteron (Ultimate Cheerleader) is completely face blind, so naturally she isn't able to recognize Micheal (or hell a majority of the cast) for the life of her.

-Mia Kunami (Ultimate Biologist) despite being shy and quite timid, is good friends with a lot of people especially Kilan.

-Formelaa Unimo(Ultimate Tailor) is actually my favorite character and I love to write his dialogue whenever I have to chance to.

-Courtney N'dego (Ultimate Soldier) is basically the mother of the group but like... In a teen mom way.

-Saezi Aishaf (Ultimate Unlucky Student) can play piano quite well, just that each time when he wants to play it. The piano is not tuned properly.

-Milo Xidhio (Ultimate Acrobatic) is a bit of hoarder and use to steal stuff from others occasionally. I say they are the most morally gray in the cast.

-Amanda Wiliiam (Ultimate Pop Sensation) has the biggest inferiority complex and sets high expectations of herself to the point where they can actually hurt her. Luckily, she has Her.

-M.K (Ultimate Butler) is indeed a robot similar to MonoBononi but he has free will. So he has a shock collar to make sure he listens.

-MonoBononi (Ultimate Captain of the Blimp) are a single entity but they have two bodies so that monochrome effect can take place. (Sorry if this doesn't sound coherent, I am on painkillers)

[radrage]

Fallout Companions and the Jobs They'd Have in a Modern AU

Cait: Physical Therapist. I feel like she'd be either a PT/OT or an actual therapist. Specifically for sportspeople. Though this is if Sole meets her post-boxing career. If not, well, she's a Boxer.

Curie: School Nurse. No doubt in my mind. She loves working with kids. Thinks they're the "future we all need". Also thinks they're adorable and the stories they have for her are always really sweet. She's adored by the entire school (which is probably an elementary/middle school) and always gives her patients a lollipop.

Codsworth: Butler/Nanny. That's a given. I mean, he's programmed to be a butler. Think an Alfred type-beat. Loves to cook on the side and his employers always love when he cooks for them.

Danse: OSHA employee/Safety Inspector. Another pretty obvious one. Is really vigorous and the GMs he shakes down always despise getting him for checks. Takes his job very seriously. Post BB (TBD what that translates to in a modern AU), he works as a freelance mechanic. Always some form of grease/oil on his uniform.

Deacon: Makeup Artist, duh. Or a SFX artist. Loves his craft, probably cosplays on the side. I don't have much to say for Deacon, but he probably holds competitions with his fellow artists for "best wig" and things like that. He hoards the entries to those comps.

Dogmeat: Instagram dog. 600k followers, MINIMUM. We love Dogmeat here, he deserves the best. Spends his days chasing ducks and barking at cars, much to Sole's (and DM's follower's) delight.

Hancock: Laid-back Gas Station employee. Sells weed on the side. Always zoinked out of his mind and probably needs a detox. Doesn't do much on the clock, but when his higher-ups come in, he straightens out. Pretends to not see the homeless people swiping ramen/chip packets because "Fuck capitalism. Homies need to eat."

MacCready: The homeless person Hancock refuses to call the cops on (/j). In seriousness, MacCready probably works as a freelance builder. For my Aussies, think a Tradie. Doesn't like his job and wants nothing more than to be a stay-at-home Dad, but needs to work for Duncan's sake. Very dusty, all the time.

Valentine: Grief Counsellor. Helps those who lost loved ones to manage their emotions. Always dreamed of being a detective, but never got the chance. I feel like that helps him connect with his patients as he lost something close to him as well. Maybe worked as a detective in his early days but had to retire after Winter's End?

Piper: English Teacher/assistant. Maybe works at the same school Curie does. Buys weed from Hancock. She wants to be a reporter, but a stable job is more important to her so she can care for Nat. Adores her kids, but despises the workload. Teaches night classes for those who struggle with English.

Preston: Works in the community department of the local government. Organises homeless drives, soup kitchens, etc. Really into charity work and probably volunteers on the side. Aggressively nice to everyone who comes into his office. "HAVE SOME TEA. PLEASE, EAT. EAT."

Strong: Works under MacCready. Demolitions expert. That or a Personal Trainer, for obvious reasons. He'd be really into whatever he does and keeps his head down for the most part. Goes to Piper's night classes.

x6: The manager who hates Danse. Probably works in a government-sanctioned building, so he actually works with Danse a lot. Sits in his office that probably has a catwalk over the actual building and looks down on his peasant employees. Think Lord Farquaad.

[inspector-m3]

demon pokedex

Rin would absolutely believe whatever ChatGPT tells him

[mariana-oconnor]

Black Peter pt 1

Haven't heard of this one either. Let's hope that's down to the fact it's a later story and not because it isn't popular anymore because of *looks at title* reasons.

I have never known my friend to be in better form, both mental and physical, than in the year '95.

Watson does keep waxing poetic about the year 1895. Must have been an epic year.

Holmes, however, like all great artists, lived for his art's sake, and, save in the case of the Duke of Holdernesse, I have seldom known him claim any large reward for his inestimable services.

Do we know the Duke of Holdernesse? I don't remember his name. How rude was he to Holmes that Holmes took his money? I feel like that must be arsehole tax.

So unworldly was he—or so capricious—that he frequently refused his help to the powerful and wealthy where the problem made no appeal to his sympathies...

More evidence for the Sherlock Holmes hates the rich theory. It's not that he's unworldly or capricious, Watson, it's that usually they're the bad guys (please see King of Bohemia). Not to put modern biases on a historical fictional character or anything.

down to his arrest of Wilson, the notorious canary-trainer

What did he train the canaries to do?

Was it, like, an entire hoard of pickpocketing birds?

Did they murder people for him? What?

Google tells me it might have been a euphemism for brothel-keeper. Or a singing teacher. So... honestly that story could go any number of ways. I think I'll stick to actual canaries, though. Probably in Canary Wharf.

During the first week of July my friend had been absent so often and so long from our lodgings that I knew he had something on hand. The fact that several rough-looking men called during that time and inquired for Captain Basil...

Watson pining at home while Holmes is out with rough-looking men and having them call him Captain...

...made me understand that Holmes was working somewhere under one of the numerous disguises and names with which he concealed his own formidable identity.

Honestly, I feel like this is character development. Before Watson would have just been 'Holmes is away' and 'Who is Captain Basil?', two entirely separate lines of thought. Now he has connected the dots. Proud of you, buddy!

...he strode into the room, his hat upon his head and a huge barbed-headed spear tucked like an umbrella under his arm.

“If you could have looked into Allardyce's back shop you would have seen a dead pig swung from a hook in the ceiling, and a gentleman in his shirt-sleeves furiously stabbing at it with this weapon. I was that energetic person, and I have satisfied myself that by no exertion of my strength can I transfix the pig with a single blow."

Everyone needs a hobby.

I recognised him at once as Stanley Hopkins, a young police inspector for whose future Holmes had high hopes...

Oh hai, Hopkins!

"However, my friend Dr. Watson knows nothing of this matter, and I should be none the worse for hearing the sequence of events once more."

For the sake of Watson and us, the invisible audience, please to be info-dumping exposition policeman!

"In 1883 he commanded the steam sealer Sea Unicorn, of Dundee."

"He has been known to drive his wife and his daughter out of doors in the middle of the night, and flog them through the park until the whole village outside the gates was aroused by their screams."

Can't say I'm entirely sorry Captain Carey is dead. In fact, maybe just chalk this up as self-inflicted and leave it at that. Whoever did it probably had a good reason.

However, the nickname doesn't seem to really be racist, so that's better than it could have been. Swarthy, as far as I'm aware, refers to tanned/weather beaten skin usually, which makes sense for a longtime sailor.

"He had built himself a wooden outhouse—he always called it ‘the cabin’—a few hundred yards from his house, and it was here that he slept every night. It was a little, single-roomed hut, sixteen feet by ten."

The original man cave?

The description of him is not crying out the sort of man who would keep tobacco on hand just in case his friends wanted some. It's not crying out the sort of man who has friends, for a start.

“Exactly, Mr. Holmes. I appreciated that point, and I conjectured that it was dropped by the murderer in his hurried flight. It lay near the door.”

Hopkins really is the smartest of the police officers we've met. And I still haven't noticed Watson comparing him to an animal.

So we have a terrible man killed by a harpoon in his man cave and no one noticed for ages because no one wanted to talk to him. I'm kind of hoping that all the women were in on it and they just... harpooned him together.

[spotsandsocks]

I assume you’re a mythical legendary creature. Air? Sea? Land? All of the above? Who knows 🤷🏻 But you’re sweet and lovable and not nearly as fearsome as the townspeople would have people think. Mostly because they love you and don’t want anyone messing with their Spotty 💞🐉

Well this amused me greatly this morning I thank you for putting a smile on my face 😁

I am indeed a very friendly mythical creature who just wants love and scratches and to live near a cute little town where everyone adores me and leaves me small gifts for my hoard.

When it’s dark I even come down to the village and offer the kids free rides on my back

Once I even ate an unwelcome tax inspector… no other ones ever came to town ��💜💜💜

[thatpunkmaximoff]

Story: 5 out of 5 Smut: 0 out of 5

Okay, listen. If you’re looking for a book to finally dip your toe into fantasy or looking for a book to show your teenager that has absolutely zero spice, then pick this up. Seriously, pick it up!

This is such a cute read that tells a wonderful story, introduces characters that will quickly become a favorite, and might just make your heart race just a little. The magic and creatures and food will also have you turning page after page.

The Spellshop is a nice little escape and will make you fall in love with these islanders, hoping for more once the story ends.

* An anxiety prone spider plant? Yeah, I identify as Caz 😂

* Man, they set the library ablaze. That sucks.

* Um, I want a cottage. Even if I have to fix it up a bit, I want it. Along with the hot neighbor and talking plant.

* Awe. Larran brought her food and a welcome home note. How adorable.

* Ohhh. The people of the island are.. interesting. Why did her parents leave?

* Damn. Okay, so the emperor pretty much fucked everyone who wasn’t rich over by hoarding magic. The islanders think Kiela is a Big Bad City Dweller who helped hoard the magic, and well… they’re not far off. She was a librarian- a librarian who now owns the only books left in existence with magic. This won’t end well.

* Caz spoke to Larran 😂

* Aww. He was just trying to be helpful and Kiela had to go and be mean.

* Please help the people!

* Jam shop? Let’s go!

* Gosh dang it. Tobin is so adorable.

* They’re so awkward- Larran and Kiela. Adorable, really.

* Damn. Larran wants to go to the city that Kiela fled from 😬 Just tell them what’s going on!!!

* Aww. I hope she can fix Halio’s spring.

* The cloud bears. Oh my god. And she healed the tree! And saw a unicorn. Why am I so happy? 😂

* Who the hell traveled to the island during a storm?! And please don’t cause issues with Larran and Kiela. I’m invested in them!

* Aww. What’s wrong with the merbaby 🥺

* Caz named the cactus Meep 😂

* Is Radane friend or foe? 🤔

* Oh no. She saw Kiela heal Sian. At least Larran is happy.

* Aww. She shared the “remedy” with three others. And then promptly had a scare when she thought she saw Radane. Fuck. This woman better not be trouble.

* Fuck you, Radane.

* All. Larran and the ladies are supporting Kiela, even though they know she’s the one doing illegal magic 🥹

* Fuck Larran’s father. He was cruel.

* THEY KISSED! Oh my god 😭

* She’s not a fucking inspector. Still don’t like her.

* Oh my heart aches for Bryn. Her uncle killed her wife/girlfriend.

* Fuck. Just when I think they’re safe… goddammit.

* Can someone punch Fenerer..?

* Aww. The captain doesn’t wanna find her. He’s going along with the lie.

* lol. Well at least Fenerer is gone now. He was a raging dillhole.

* Oh damn. The spelled the storm away!

* Four babies were born!

* HE ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM!

[inspector-m3]

woahhh, cool art!

After a tough mission

[corporialus]

The Most Mysterious Emperor to (probably never) Exist.

In 1713, The inspector of medals for the holy roman emperor, Carl Gustav Heraeus would note that 8 strange looking gold coins had come into the possession of the Imperial Collection of Vienna. Carl had apparently acquired these coins from the Hapsburg finance minister Johann David von Palm, who in turn had gotten them from a supposed hoard found in Transylvania. The hoard mainly consisted of an assortment of strange types, ranging from a large gold coin of Gordian III to strange "aurei" of Philip that use a republican obverse, and even a whole gold version of an old Republican denarius.

The coins themselves are all very odd, but one type among them stands out for being the strangest of them all, that being the gold coins of the emperor Sponsian, who was unrecorded in history up until the hoard's discovery, and who presumably had all of the hoard coins minted to pay either his soldiers or officials. Sponsian's gold coins are extremely odd to say the least, and the following is a list of all the details about the coin that differ from the normal imperial issues of the time. 1. The weight is extremely heavy for Roman gold coins, the known Sponsian coins range from weighing 9 to 11 grams. No official Roman or barbarian imitation gold coins weigh that much.

2. The obverse of the Sponsian coin is strange in a few ways. As noted above, the weight is far too heavy to be an aureus, therefore it is speculated that the coins are of the binio / double aureus denomination due to the radiate crown on Sponsian's head, which on Roman coins is indicative of a double denomination. It is more likely that they are supposed to be donative coins meant to pay senior officers, although typical donative coins were usually made with spectacular engraving, and the Sponsian coins are just about as far off from that as possible. The way the legend is lumped to one side of the coin is also never seen on any other official imperial 3rd century issues. 3. The reverse is arguably stranger than the obverse, as it uses a very old Republican design from 135 B.C.

This original republican denarius was meant to commemorate a grain donative and struck by a certain Caius Augurinus, whose name can be seen at the top of the reverse "C AVG". The use of republican reverses on 3rd century era coinage is unheard of (especially extremely obscure ones such as this), with the Sponsian coins being the only exception. Could Sponsian be calling back to his republican era ancestor Caius? Not likely. If these coins are from the 3rd century, the most plausible explanation is that whoever had them engraved for Sponsian had the Republican denarius on hand as a reference and assumed that the "C AVG" on the reverse meant "Caesar Augustus". The Philip coins that were found in the hoard support the theory that the engraver had the Caius Augurinus denarius as a model, since those coins use the obverse of the republican denarius for their design.

4. The Sponsian coins are undoubtedly cast, which is typically indicative of a fake coin. The problem with the coins being cast is that no 3rd century coins were ever cast, as all official issues were always struck. There is also no hoard evidence of more Sponsian coins. Another emperor that was proven to exist was Domitian II, who was also brushed off by some numismatists as being a fake (the theory being that his coins were tooled issues of Tetricus) but another example of his coinage was unearthed in a hoard of undoubtedly genuine coins later on, finally proving his existence. If more Sponsian coins are found in a hoard containing genuine coins, it could possibly be evidence that the coins are from antiquity. (it is noteworthy that the coins of Domitian II are not nearly as weird as Sponsian's coins, and are much easier to accept as real). We don't know anything about the initial discovery of the Transylvania hoard and we don't even know exactly how many coins were found, but throughout the 18th century the hoard would be dispersed into collections across Europe. During the period from the hoard's discovery and 2020, many numismatists had the chance to speak on the Sponsian coins. Their theories on the mysterious pieces ranged from the coins being Barbarian imitations, to the coins being blatant 17th century forgeries. But amidst the limited discussion during the years after 1713 surrounding the Sponsian coins, a general aura of mystery still was associated with them. In 2020, light discussion on the Sponsian popped up again, this time on a Coin discussion forum. At this point Sponsian was very obscure, with only one photo of one of his coins being known at the start of the thread, the same photo was the one being used by Wikipedia on their page about Sponsian.

The initial discussion mainly surrounded Sponsian's strange name and trying to find more drawings / photos of the Sponsian coins. In comes Professor Paul Pearson, who finds more photos of the Sponsian coins, and eventually requests the Hunterian museum to take the photo at the very top of this post. It is my belief that Pearson was inspired to write his famous paper on Sponsian because of his interest in this thread. Fast forward to 2022, Pearson's paper comes out and proves that the Sponsian coins are ancient and NOT 17th century fakes. The way Pearson concluded they were real was by analyzing the wear patterns and comparing them to some other genuine gold coins of the period in the same museum. Towards the end of the paper he also theorizes that Sponsian was a rebel in Dacia during the reign of Gallienus, and made these coins to pay his officers. Alright, now I'm going to need you to forget the narrative that Sponsian ever actually existed. See, in order for a newly discovered emperor on a roman coin to even remotely be considered as genuine, the coins bearing their name and image at the very least have to follow the specific patterns that other known 3rd century issues follow. If you're a roman usurper trying to prove legitimacy, one of the first things you do is mint coins bearing your image and name in the typical imperial style to pay your troops. The coins would also have to be similar weights to those of official issue, to make sure they could function properly in the Roman economy. For example, take the emperor Silbannacus. He follows the same story as Sponsian in the sense that he was not recorded in any historical record until the discovery of his coins. But instead of being widely criticized by Numismatists for being a fraud, the majority of the Numismatic community is far less skeptical of his coins for the very reason that they followed all the right patterns when it came to Imperial coinage. There is just way too many weird things going on with the Sponsian coins. All of the right patterns that the Silbannacus and Domitian II coins follow, the Sponsian coins throw out the window. From the coins being far too heavy, the use of the Republican era reverse, the fact that they're cast. Nothing here adds up. There are flaws with Pearson's conclusion about the coins being a genuine product from a 3rd century usurper. Although his analysis of the coin's history is solid, the means of determining the coins are from antiquity kind of fall apart when scrutinized.

For one, you can't prove a coin is ancient just because it has scratches on it that are similar to ones on an ancient coin. There is just no definitive way to date the wear on the Sponsian coins. Wear can also be easily faked, Pearson even admits this in his paper, as he brings up the forger Carl Wilhelm Becker and how he used iron filings to fake wear on his coins as an example. It is also important to remember that they were in various collections during the 300 years since they were found, and during that time there is a possibility that they were handled carelessly by numismatists and others due to the fact proper precautions for handling ancient coins were not in place during those years. The wear could've developed from them. The study done on the earthen deposits is also quite flimsy, there is simply not enough research on deposits in general, and the research conducted on them in Pearson's paper is too surface level to prove much. We don't know how long those deposits take to form, we don't know if they were formed in the ground or during the coin's stay in the Hunterian collection etc etc. It's very silly to immediately jump to the conclusion that Sponsian was real just because of these few flimsy points in the face of all of the things alluding to the coins being fake. During the period after the paper's publication and the media coverage of Sponsian, many rebuttals would be made by numismatists and Roman historians alike, but one series of videos that I followed made by Guy de la Bédoyère covering Sponsian pointed out even more solid evidence against Sponsian. In the last part of his series (and the only one left public on his yt channel) Guy talks about a book that he recently reread written a bit before the Sponsian hoard's discovery by a scholar named John Evelyn. In one of the chapters pertaining to fakes, Evelyn mentions a hoard of heavy gold forgeries imitating Roman issues discovered during the siege of Bonn in 1673. Later on, while listing off Emperors that were commonly faked, he states "and to these add such as borrow the head of some emperor with some fantastic reverse, or enigmatical inscription, which has no relation to the person, or appertain to some other, or seeming to historize some new and extravagant thing, never heard nor read in any good author before". (I highly recommend checking out Guy's full video, I'll have it linked at the end) The Bonn hoard of coins as well as Evelyn's description of fantasy fakes is solid evidence that forgeries similar in style and manufacture of the Sponsian pieces did exist in the 17th and 18th centuries. Although I'm a firm believer that the coins are fake, at this point this mystery technically isn't 100 percent solved until better research on the earthen deposits is conducted, or if a new hoard of Sponsian coins is found alongside genuine issues. Sources linked below, highly recommend reading then / watching them if you're interested in Sponsian.

[carmen-fics-for-thee]

Series: A Date With Devineaux Part 3

Experiment Failed, Begin New Experiment

Summary: Grey finds out what Tigress did to Carmen on her date. He's not happy. And Tigress doesn't see why trying to get her arrested was that big of a deal. She talks to Devineaux, trying to figure out how in the world she escaped.

...

"Carmen just called." Grey said in a neutral tone.

"Oh?" Tigress said, snickering. "Where from...?"

"Her house."

His tone had turned brusque.

"Oh." Her face fell. "Well um, how was it?"

"Her date? ... It was wonderful and magical. She really enjoyed her time with Devineaux."

His voice got softer as he thought of Carmen's happiness.

"Oh...? Well, um, good! I was nice to her, see...?"

Narrowing his eyes, he glared at Tigress.

"You know what else happened? Her disguise fell off. She was arrested."

Tigress rolled her eyes.

"Really? That's too bad."

Grey held his phone in his hand. It showed the link between her and the guy who made Carmen's disguise. On the next slide, it showed she used a signal built into the disguise to make it fall apart at will.

"I know what you did, Tigress. It's over between us."

She sputtered.

"No! Grey, please! You can't do this!"

"I can." He said, and started to leave the room.

"Wait!" She called. "How did she get out of jail?! I need to know!"

...

She tried to research Devineaux to learn how Carmen eluded him this time. Perhaps she would help him tighten security.

So confident was she that Carmen had finally been caught, she turned off her video feed for her and stopped following her. All for nothing!

Following Inspector Devineaux one morning, she saw him humming as he walked to his car with Julia.

Sneaking on over, she slipped a paper out of the hoard of papers Julia was carrying. This made the whole bunch fall to the ground, the wind blowing them every which way. Julia ran to try and catch them all.

Now the Inspector was all hers.

"Hellooooo there," Tigress said slyly. "What brings you to the neighbourhood?"

Now, Devineaux was not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he had a bad feeling about this woman.

"I was assigned on duty. There may be criminals here!"

She grinned.

"Yeah! Criminals like... Carmen Sandiego...?"

He simply nodded. She waited, and then decided to take the lead when he said nothing.

"I saw the arrest on the news. I know a few tricks to ensure she doesn't escape next time..."

Now there was anger.

"Who are you?! What are you selling?! I don't want any!!" He threw his hands in the air dramatically.

"Touchy."

"It's pronounced "too-shay!"" He huffed. She was taken off guard.

"Ah, yeah. Uh, anyway..." Looking around for help, Tigress saw a flower stand. Perhaps there's another way to get him to talk? "Look over there! You can buy a bouquet of flowers for your love!"

He spotted a bunch of red roses. The smile in his eyes was obvious, for a split second Tigress saw the reason Carmen had "escaped". But he shook his head.

"I am on duty. No time for that right now!" He pointed his finger in the air. "Off to look for a crime!"

Suddenly, he noticed Julia with all the papers. She looked tired, her glasses crooked.

"What happened to you?!"

...

Tigress took out her anger on a punching bag.

"I underestimated her! Ohhhhhh..."

Her own words rang in her head. 'He wouldn't actually fall for her.' Well, he did. Tigress didn't know how she did it.

"Pardon me," her old teacher said. "But how is this a bad thing? If Carmen spends more time with this man, she'll have less time to spend with Grey..."

She sobbed in anger.

"It's not the same!" She whined. "I wanted her behind bars..."

...

Grey met with Carmen at her house.

She offered him tea, and they sat down on the couch. It was a nice silence between them, the aroma of the tea seeping into the air.

"I'm sorry about Tigress," Grey said. "I thought she could change."

Carmen smiled slightly.

"Well, it's okay, Grey... You didn't make my disguise so flimsy it fell off."

"I'm not talking to that woman again. Not after what she did to you. She needs help, seriously."

"Mm. Good call."

Grey looked at her, a little concerned.

"About your date; you sure you're alright...?"

She nodded.

"The arrest was horrible, and humiliating, and crushing... But what happened afterwards... When I told him the truth, that I really loved him, and the way he had mercy on me and opened the car door... The way he hugged me and then looked into my eyes..."

Smiling, Grey patted her back.

"Sounds like you really love him. Just, you know, watch out for the clueless type. You know, leave more obvious hints for him and stuff."

She nodded.

"I will. And Grey?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks for standing up for me. I wanted Tigress to really be my friend, but that's just wishful thinking, isn't it?"

He looked straight ahead. Honestly he didn't know what to think. On the one hand, if Tigress was really committed to changing who she was then who was he to stop her? But on the other, he wasn't going to wait around for it. If Grey was going to date someone, he'd rather it be a decent, honest person.

"Yeah. There's plenty of fish in the sea."