#the improvement in art between the old and current is actually insane

[bambiilooza]

changed up my aphrodite design a bit <3

[chipped-chimera]

Okay. Gamedev nerd here gonna throw in some inputs. Also neuroscience nerd because it's actually relevant here, believe it or not. (This is long so buckle up)

No game needs to run faster than 30 fps

So this one is a funky one. Whether frames are 'detectable' or not to the human brain, comes down to exposure. Human brains are amazingly efficient at sifting out what I'll call 'junk inputs' - floaters in your eyes (that everyone develops eventually), the phone you chronically keep in your back left pocket to the point you're slapping your body going 'where's my phone?' only to find it exactly where you left it - the same pocket as always. Your brain got so used to those inputs, it's filtered them out because they're deemed 'not important' to be constantly shoved in your experience of reality.

Up until maybe the past 10ish years, most media that we've been exposed to has run at about 30fps. Our brain is used to this and makes it indecernable. As tech has improved, allowing for higher fps rates, you can now be more exposed to 60fps - in fact 60fps has been the broadcast standard for quite some time. If you get used to the higher frame rate, your brain grows to EXPECT this frame rate in order to efficiently throw out the junk information (the pauses between frames) so anything below that threshold becomes noticeable.

I run a pretty beefy PC with a high quality monitor, and it's gotten to the point where I can now distinguish whether something is running less than 60fps to the point I start fucking around in graphics options because I feel like my game is lagging slightly. Sometimes I will consciously run at 30fps if it's more stable for various reasons, but I do notice. 60fps comes across much smoother to me now, whereas 30 has this barely perceptible jitter - that's because my brain is no longer used to filtering out those junk signals.

So with regard to this - it is true that games COULD only run at 30fps, but it would have to be literally EVERY GAME to stay imperceptible to the user. It'd also have to be every video, every film, every piece of media we ever consume in order to REMAIN imperceptible.

Studies have been done on this and while 60fps has been accepted as the 'upper limit', it's uncertain if that will hold. Current data suggests 75fps might be the last noticeable threshold before diminishing returns. Ultimately this comes down to the user and what kind of monitor they have available, and what that refresh rate is capable of. After all, we don't see reality in FPS. End of the day, more frames = closer experience to a frameless reality = smoother experience. Now since I'm talking about the tech component, that brings me to -

No texture should be bigger than 2k

While for the most part this would have been a yes ... the fact is tech is changing. Or honestly has changed. Like yesterday. 1080p, once known as your 'HD' has not been 'High Definition' since maybe the mid 2010s. Your average phone screen - arguably the thing that most of us are exposed to on the daily - if it has been built later than 2014 is likely to be running a 2k to 4k definition screen. If you ever wondered why text looks so damn crisp on your teeny tiny mobile phone, but not on your monitor - this is why.

I upgraded to a 2k monitor last year after my ancient, literally pre-hd Cintiq drawing tablet of 15 kilos made the death knell of glitchy buttons. She had dead pixels. She was 12 years old. She was my beloved, glass topped art workhorse I had gotten as a high school graduation present that I'd slap the side of and say 'don't make em like her anymore'. But as good as she was, the difference between her and even my basic 1080p monitor was noticeable. After doing some reading, and a lot of that reading was saying '4k is now the standard' which sounded INSANE but now they're putting out 6k/8k resolution screens, I decided it'd be more cost effective to just get a screenless drawing tablet and a better monitor. I could always upgrade the screen, therefore keeping my tablet in action longer.

Hooking up that 2k monitor for the first time, last year, when this was considered literally the 'lower end' of the current market? It was like I'd put on my glasses. But I was already wearing them. Everything was so much clearer and crisp to work on. It was VERY noticeable.

But what happens when you have a 2k monitor? Well now 2k is the baseline. A 2k texture on a model, displayed on your screen where it is close enough to be at full resolution is now noticeable if it's NOT 2k. You know when a character is talking on your screen and you're getting distracted by the pixellated quality of their armour texture? That's because the texture is no longer matching your monitor resolution. It has more pixels to fill, and if the information isn't there ... well that's how you get pixellated looking textures.

So what is a Gamedev to do? 2k resolution textures are NOT SMALL. Ballpark average for a single image might be around 2MB for 2k resolution with standard channels. If you need MORE channels embedded in the image, like an alpha channel for example - well that's more information for the image to hold, therefore more file size. Crank that up to hundreds of images - diffuse textures, normal maps are a bare minimum, add on other stuff like alpha masking, tintmaps - if you want a custom character creation system that's actually decent? Multiple armor options? Recolouring options? Textures? That's a lot of images already + a lot of file size and you haven't even put in the actual game yet.

So you've now got to get creative with it. This actually brings me to what made me want to write this post:

There’s zero excuse for Baldur’s Gate 3 to be 150 GB when Skyrim is 6 GB

I'm a recent modder, but I've had the privilege of messing with Baldur's Gate 3 and I intimately know exactly how their textures are formatted and used at this point - and they are the epitome of 'get creative with it'. So I mean it when I say you're lucky BG3 is JUST 150gb.

Anyone following me knows I have gone on about it before, but as someone who was trying to rebuild models in blender post launch, you'd know that BG3 uses a very unique texture system for character models to basically stretch these textures to the absolute limit while maintaining a high fidelity resolution.

This horrendous flow-chart-from-hell is me attempting to reconstruct this system (and this is maybe only half of it). While it's likely since been cracked by someone else since I last looked at it, the best I could do was get close.

Here's how BG3 textures work: they are not your typical 'baked into one diffuse texture' image thing we're used to for most games up until this point, where you've basically flattened the skin out into a 2D picture with all the colour information.

What Larian has done is make everything grayscale, and most of them work like layering masks. For those familiar with digital art, this would be your transparent layers layered on top of each other, with or without effects. For an even more basic analogy - think of stencils, on top of each other, until you have made a composite image. This means, instead of making a texture for every single skin colour available in the game it's now only three pictures -

These three pictures contain stupid amounts of information however, because while we see a composite image, actually you're looking at 3-4 images PER IMAGE. Because in reality, this is what it looks like -

This is my reconstruction folder of separated images to reconstruct in blender. Each contains a layer of information - how much freckles to put in the face, where the ambient occlusion goes, the vein amount yadda yadda. Remember what I said about 2k images being big? Larian managed to reduce that to three out of a potential seventeen. And while an absolute pain in the ass to reverse engineer in Blender shaders, honestly I was kind of giddy at the genius of this.

It's actually what makes the entire game really flexible and modder friendly, because once you understand how it works the engine is SUPER versatile when it comes to being able to recolour things. You can share these textures across multiple models and make them look completely different by altering the value of each colour, per layer, per texture.

So if we were to extrapolate this onto the old 'flat diffuse texture model', I'll be generous here and say it's three images (eyebrow/makeup masks + flat diffuse + normal map a.k.a. the thing that adds microdetails like pores and shit) at a very modest estimate of 2MB x the 350 skintones available in the character creator?

That's 700 Megabytes - because to get the colour for each one, you now need a separate image for each one. Sure that sounds 'small' but that's just faces, and only ONE face! For the character creator. Then you have your multiple face options with different textures. And multiple races. Then there's hair. Tattoos. Armor. NPCs. World textures etc. It adds up and it adds up quick. Instead this means they can use just 3 images, for one face in the character creator for all 350 skin tones. That comes down to a measly 6 Megabytes.

Even then they cut corners where they can. There's a reason there's so many upscaling mods available for BG3 - some textures aren't 2k. So to say that they're somehow at fault for not making their game smaller while maintaining the current visual fidelity is honestly doing Larian a major disservice. These Devs scrimped and scraped for EVERY inch of room they could possibly get out of their textures, and I've seen it. I'll say it again for emphasis -

We are lucky it's ONLY 150gb.

lower poly counts > high poly counts

Okay so as a Gamedev-student-turned-modder, I agree. Most gamedevs will agree too - because they're likely already using the smallest polycounts they can within the restrictions of current generation consoles (which are always less powerful than PC) and while maintaining the baseline fidelity of likely at minimum 2k textures. I spent 3 months learning how to make 'Real Time Hair' for games a.k.a. hair that can be rendered real time as you play the game, as opposed to engine heavy simulated hair you see in CG film. If you don't want your game to turn into a frame-sink slideshow you have to keep the polygons as low as possible. And it is actually really, really hard to get nice looking hair with volume while sticking to this. If you wondered why so many hairs in game tend to be super straight and flat - this is why. It's easier to obscure a lack of volume when you're basically constructing a cardboard cube. Once you start distorting layers, like with curls for example, you're more at risk of exposing that this is just a really thin mesh.

This is the hair I built. It looks great - but it's about double to triple the standard polygon count for most of Cyberpunk 2077's in-game hairdos. I only went with it because it was a personal mod and I knew my PC could handle it. (And even then, it's still more modest than some mods out there - I've checked).

Super low poly can work too! But it often affects style in turn. There's no point putting a 2k texture on what we associate with 'low poly' models, but that's a completely different game at this point like Zelda: Wind Waker. The unfortunate reality is, if you're going for realism in your game, the faster the frame rates, the bigger the textures = the closer to literal reality it feels, and the more current your tech needs to be.

There's a bit of a psychological phenomenon around this. I vividly remember sitting cross legged on the carpet of the library as a mere 10 year old listening to my computer science teacher go off topic to gush about the 'realistic graphics' of a game that'd just come out with the boys in the class.

For context, I am 31 this year. That game? Halo. The first one. No not the remaster, the literal, first, potato-ass looking Halo.

Also remasters are a fiddly metric to measure by - often what can be done to improve the game is limited by the engine, which is also probably a dated engine. But also using a tiny resolution image to compare larger resolution improvements in textures is not going to make a discernible difference. (And also arguably the technical skill of the Game Developer and given I call Bethesda 'Bugthesda' my bar ain't very high for them but that's my personal opinion.)

End of the day, the fact is this:

Whether a 150GB game looks any different from a 20GB game comes down to a lot of factors, and the majority of them come down to what you're running. For some people yeah! Below 1080p at 30fps will run absolutely fine and look great! And there are plenty of low-poly games with smaller graphics that do really well - a good game is a good game!

But as tech evolves, things change - and so do industry standards. The current 'standard' definition television? 4k. So what might not be noticeable to you, might be very noticeable to someone else.

And Gamedevs are aware of that. They are also keenly aware of the fact people complain about filesize, and you bet whatever size you are presented with (unless you know that company to be notorously incompetent coughs loudly in Bethesda and arguably whatever the fuck the sims 4 team is doing atm) that is the smallest size physically possible that they can present you with on launch day after way too many crunch hours.

Be nice to your Gamedevs guys. The majority of developers are out there just wanting to give you a fun experience and tell a story. And I think that should be appreciated.

here are my biggest gaming hot takes:

- no game actually needs to run faster than 30 FPS

- no texture needs to be bigger than 2k, and most don’t need to be bigger than 1k (save for megatextures). A good chunk should actually be smaller than 1k

- lower poly counts > high poly counts

Once you pass a certain threshold, it doesn’t even affect the style of the game that much, and you’re just using exponentially more power to get exponentially smaller results

Like, for example, the original Skyrim was 4 GB. The remaster is 22 GB. That’s five-and-a-half times more space for the exact same content! The graphical improvements are honestly negligible, especially when you consider the massive leap in storage and RAM used.

These sorts of things just hit diminishing returns so quickly— My eyes can’t tell the difference between 1k and 4k textures.

We have so many fun ways to get the maximum mileage out of every pixel and every polygon. It’s sad to see those techniques slowly trickle away from big-budget games!

Even as storage space becomes less and less of a concern, there’s something satisfying about keeping everything as small and tidy as possible

[simsadventures]

Gilded: Chapter 2: Our House (The Mess We’ve Made)

Mobster! Steve x Reader

Summary: Steve doesn’t like to be questioned, and you learn that the hard way. When he wants something, he gets it, and now he wants to have everything over with as quickly as possible. But there are a few bumps on the road. 

Warnings: mafia au, swearing, violence, blood, threats, violence on women, slight mention of a rape, fluff, I mean, Steve is very demanding here, but it’s a theme so… 

Word Count: 6087

A/N: I’m beyond excited that you guys liked the first chapter so much and are giddy for the next one. So, here we have it. More of our arranged couple and more mafia stuff. Let me know what you thought, and again, thank you for reading! xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist 

< Previous Chapter 

“You did what? Are you fucking kidding me right now? Y/N, I love you, but you must have hit your head real hard because this is not like you, at all,” Caroline reasoned, but you could see she was close to losing it completely. 

They were both waiting for you to come home that night, and you first had to make sure neither of them would talk about anything you were about to reveal. You trusted both of them with your life, that wasn’t the issue, but you were afraid that if they talked outside of your apartment, Steve might know and the things he could do to them would be the core of your future nightmares, you were sure of it. When they finally agreed, you got to explaining. But you didn’t even get a full sentence out before they started jumping in it, asking questions and wildly swatting their hands, trying to make you see just how stupid of an idea it actually was. 

“Do you think I don’t know it sounds insane? I do, but also like, it’s gonna take care of so many issues, and, I mean, all he needs from me, as far as I understood it, is to go to a few events with him, go to some vacations with him and that would be all. I mean, I can still have the job I actually enjoy and don’t have to slave in that fucking pub with all those weirdos, and I won’t have to worry about money,” you tried to sound reasonable and sensible, but from the looks on your best friends’ faces, you weren’t doing too good of a job. 

“Right, right, cool. So, you wanna tell me that the most notorious fucking mobster in America will let you live here, with us, while he parades you around the city at night? Or that he doesn’t have enemies you should worry about? Or what about the fucking police, Y/N, huh? Have you thought of that? You will be affiliated with a known criminal, and they will start to notice you and your life won’t be as easy as you picture it,” Aidan sighed and massaged his temples, the stress of it all getting the best of him. 

You sat down next to them and smiled at them fondly. It was sweet that they worried so much about you, and just the mere thought that there were people on this planet who gave a shit about you, even to the point of yelling at you at 11 PM on Wednesday night was heartwarming. You understood their reservations, you really did, but you also knew this all before you said yes to Steve. You knew it wouldn’t be as easy, and while you weren’t sure whether you would have to live with Steve in Manhattan or somewhere else, or if he let you just be on your own, you knew you could take it. The police didn’t scare you, you’ve had enough training in diverting the police from yourself, so the police was the last thing on your mind. Besides, you were signing petitions left and right to defund them, so… You were pretty sure they already knew your name from the demonstrations in front of their precincts. 

Enemies were a bit more challenging to handle, but you were sure Steve wouldn’t want his new wife to die on his watch. How would that look for him? So really, all that was at stake was your sanity and your integrity, and thinking about it, Steve didn’t ask you to do something illegal. The only thing he wanted from you was to be a good girl, marry him and be by his side. And you could do that. And you were only human, Steve was a sight to behold, so you didn’t mind being connected to him, even though he specifically told you he wasn’t attracted to you. 

That one still stung, but maybe it was for the better. You wouldn’t have to worry about doing something stupid when the other party was completely uninterested, and knowing it, you could just never let your body have even a minor crush on him, so the situation really resolved itself even before anything could have happened. 

“I really think I can gain more than I can lose, you guys. I didn’t imagine my life being like this, far from it, and maybe Steve and his money can help me get where I want. And I won’t even have to sleep with him or anybody else. He even talked about putting a no-sex clause in our contract so that I would be safe even on paper. You always tell me that I’m not taking enough risks and that I stay rooted in my comfort zone. Well, this is quite the improvement, isn’t it?” You laughed, and they both just shook their heads but chuckled nevertheless. 

“You are a psychopath, babe,” Aidan muttered but gave you a side hug, and Caroline soon joined. 

“We love you and worry about you, that’s all. But if you feel good about this, then so do we. I just hope he’s ready for our wrath if anything even remotely bad happens to you,” Caroline said, and the three of you started to laugh. You would bet somebody like Steve would be scared shitless from two 20-something-year-olds who, one who was scared of wasps so much she almost fainted every time she saw one, and the other having a hard time peeling a grapefruit. Yup, they were the combat duo you would bet your money on in a fight, for sure. 

Waking up, you had a good feeling about the decision, even more so than the night before. You had mulled it over and over in your head, seeing that this was the way out of everything and also your way to a lot of those things you wanted to have by now. You even thought of the saying, sometimes, the only way out is through, and this was your through. There was no foreseeable way of getting out of debt, of getting out of the depression caused by your hectic and unsatisfying life. Your way through it was accepting Steve’s money and his help for a year, freeing you from the shackles of your current life, in a sense. 

That it would come with a different kind of shackled you were sure of, but everything was better than your life now because you really couldn’t even call it a life. You wanted so many things, see so many places, but the world wasn’t made for the people playing by the rules, slaving in their ordinary jobs. No, this capitalist world was made for sharks, and you had been disguised as a sheep for too long. 

When you got to the gallery, you were welcomed by a sight that surprised you, and not in a good way. Where you were used to sitting every day for the past two years was another girl. She was pretty, and you bet she was wonderful, but at that very moment, all you saw was that somebody replaced you. 

You swiftly unlocked the door and walked in, the girl standing up immediately to greet you with a shy smile and a wave. You couldn’t be a complete bitch to her, after all, this was way above her pay grade. So, you just nodded and strode towards the offices where the director sat. 

“Good morning, Ms Y/L/N. I see you have met Laura, our new receptionist. And before you say anything, I just wanted to tell you that we appreciate everything you had done for this gallery for so long and that we thought it was time for you to learn some other skills, as you are more than capable of that,” he smiled warmly, and you weren’t sure if it was a nice way of saying you were let go of, or if you were promoted. 

“What does that mean, Mr Jones?” You asked incredulously, not really in the mood to search in between the lines. 

“You have become my personal secretary, Ms Y/L/N. Congratulations! I know you have the aspiration of becoming a curator, so, this way, you could get a little closer to art even though there is still some way to go, naturally,” he winked and chuckled, and you let yourself relax with the news. 

Wow! Your life was already taking a turn for the better, and all you had to was to go with your gut and risk a little. You wanted to laugh out loud at the universe and its mysterious ways of working. But, thinking of mysterious, your mind suddenly pictured Steve and his devilish smirk, and your smile faltered. 

“And may I ask, why now? Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful for the chance, and I will do my best to succeed in expectations. I just wonder what happened that the chance has come now?” 

Mr Jones scratched the back of his neck, and you gritted your teeth. You already knew that it wasn’t the universe praising you for your bravery. No, this had nothing to do with the universe. 

“More things have come together, to be quite honest, Ms Y/L/N. First, my long-time secretary left for her maternity leave a few weeks ago, as you might remember, and I have been looking for her replacement ever since. And I forgot what an amazing student we had here, who is already established with the clients and with our partners, and that this will be a win-win situation for everybody. And your fiancée was quite adamant that your resumé is remarkable and that I should give you a chance,” he smiled and piled gathered in your throat. 

How Steve managed to persuade Jones to do this was beyond you when you left him only a few hours ago, most of which were during the night, so there wasn’t much room for negotiation between the parties. You just hoped people wouldn’t start treating you differently when they realised your affiliation. That was the only thing you obviously didn’t think through: the opinion of the society. And since the New York society had been one of the most judging and selective ones even back in the 19th and 20th century, you knew not that much has changed since. People were afraid of Steve, with a good reason too, and now they might become frightened of you too. Fucking awesome. 

“I want to assure you that my fiancée won’t be present in my work life, however notorious he is,” you tried to sound as confident in what you were saying as you could, but you weren’t sure if you were doing a good job. But Mr Jones just smiled and sat down, signalling for you to sit down opposite of him, and he started talking about business and about what the job actually was. And while you tried to give him your full attention, there was this angry voice in your head, ready to bite Rogers’ head off. He would meet your famous wrath sooner than you thought, but it was all his fault anyway. 

The job was, actually, quite impressive. As your boss told you, you got to meet several artists already, you could sit in the meeting where they decided what kind of art the gallery was interested in, and you soaked all that in like a sponge. You were radiating by the end of the day, and the wrath subsided a little, but only till the moment, you saw a black SUV parked in front of the gallery and one of the turtlenecks standing beside it. 

You decided that if Steve could do what he wanted, so could you and so you walked in the opposite direction than was the car, leaving the turtleneck yelling your name and running after you. But you ignored him completely, even when he reached you and patted your shoulder, slightly bewildered that you recognised him and still decided not to do as he said. Oh, these obnoxious mobsters needed to learn that they couldn’t get everything they wanted. 

“Miss Y/L/N, please, you need to come with me. Mr Rogers is waiting for you in the car,” he said, and you finally stopped and looked him deep in the eyes while you folded your arms across your chest. You hoped you looked intimidating, but since the guy was wearing a pair of sunglasses you couldn’t be entirely sure whether it worked. But you didn’t relent and just stared him down, and when he shifted uncomfortably, you knew you were winning this contest. 

“Would you please come with me? Mr Rogers hates to wait,” he mumbled the last thing, and you would have snickered if you weren’t so determined to be the tough guy there. It was only when you heard other footsteps somewhere behind you, and the guy in front of you actually flinched that you realised the big boss himself was there to get you. 

“No, Mr Rogers really doesn’t like to wait, Y/N. Is this the way to treat your fiancée?” Steve asked when he reached you, and you shuddered from the poisonous undertone in his voice. Safe to say, it might not have been the best strategy to try and walk away from him, but you had decided for it once, and now you were gonna stand by your decision. 

“Oh, I don’t know, darling,” you hissed but continued before he could comment on your behaviour, “is intimidating my boss to give me a promotion a way to treat me? You really think you have control over everything and everyone, Steve, but let me tell you something. This is my fucking life, and you have no fucking right to march in and do as you please!”

He just raised a brow, and his nostrils flared before you felt his hand on your upper arm, squeezing it so tightly you were sure your arm wasn’t getting any blood. But you didn’t want him to win, which would definitely happen if you pleaded with him, so you just gritted your teeth and stared him down. Steve nodded at the guys around him to leave you two, and they took a few steps back, sure enough to protect their boss but to give him at least some privacy with you. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me in that tone, huh? I think you’ll understand soon enough that disobedience is punished greatly here, honey! So, stop acting like a brat who gets off from causing scenes in public and come with me. And, for your information, this is a fucking order, and I dare you to move from me again,” Steve spat in your ear, and you trained your eyes on the ground. 

Well, not your best idea, you had to admit that, and you valued your own head enough to just shut up and follow him. And by following him, you meant walking beside him because Steve obviously didn’t trust you enough to let go of your arm, even if his grip loosened slightly. 

He thrust you in the car with a force that could scare many, but it only just slightly surprised you. When he finally sat down next to you, he bid the driver to just go and stared out of the window, not addressing you in any shape or form, and you huffed in annoyance. 

“Look, Steve, you brought me here for a reason, so what do you want? I thought we agreed to meet tomorrow and not today, in broad daylight in front of my job.”

“Show some respect!” He roared, and you saw the eyes of the bodyguards, or whatever they were, flick towards you in fear. It was funny how such huge men were clearly so afraid of one of them. You remained calm, however, and just remained looking at him. Then you realised something. He didn’t mind your mouth the night before that much when the two of you were alone, but he couldn’t stand it when people were around. He needed to be the man, his people needed to know that nobody treated him differently and that not even his future wife could disobey him, let alone publicly. You swallowed your pride and shifted your gaze elsewhere. 

“I’m sorry, Steve, I’ve had a long day, and I’m taking it on you now. I just wished you spoke to me before you called my boss, but still, thank you for the opportunity,” you muttered meekly, and the triumphant look on Steve’s face spoke volumes. He just hummed and patted your shoulder, his own shoulders slacking and relaxing. These people were so easy to read, you were actually quite astounded that they weren’t played like violins by some secret agents or something like that. Well, you thought, at least you could play them, and it would make your life a little easier if you did it well enough. 

“I came because we needed to discuss more things, honey. I had a pressing matter to attend to yesterday so I couldn’t stay longer, but I have the whole afternoon reserved just for you today, so we can go over all the parts of our agreement in great detail and that we can start planning our wedding,” he flashed you a smile, and it was your time to tense up because if you were to have a wedding soon, which was clearly something Steve wanted, you needed to get a move on and that stressed you out. The arrangement might have been just for a year, but you knew that Steve’s wedding was supposed to be magnificent, showing all that he obtained and all that the mere mortals couldn’t have. You included. 

But then you realised something. 

“Sure, but I need to take care of something first if you don’t mind,” you added quickly seeing the mobster next to you tensing up again. “As I no longer work at Joey’s pub, I need to get my things from there. My boss called me this morning telling me that I still had my work shoes and other stuff there and that I should pick it up or they’ll throw it away.” 

“Just give the address to the driver, we’ll get it, and then we’ll go to my place- oh, excuse me- our place and discuss what we need,” he said simply, and you followed his orders. 

The rest of the drive was silent, and you could unwind a little, reminisce about the 24 hours you have had. From taking the subway anywhere you needed to, to driving in an armoured SUV with the most prolific mafia boss of the USA, your life took quite the turn. You needed to set some boundaries with Steve, but you needed to do it tactfully and, most importantly, alone. You hadn’t known him at all, but you knew the type. There would be reasoning with him as long as he thought he had a free choice and knew that his position wasn’t neither threatened nor questioned.  

This was a part of your agreement that you actually didn’t mind. Joey’s pub was not the fanciest of places in New York and while some of the customers were lovely and tipped well, the weekend sort was made of sleazy assholes who would touch you without your permission and not having to be around them would definitely be something you could get used to. 

The boss who’s name wasn’t Joey, surprise, surprise, but Thomas, nodded your way when you came in. The pub was only half full, but the odour of mixed sweat, beer and vomit was ever the same. Gosh, how you couldn’t wait to be out of there. 

Taking the places of the little box by the box with beer cans, you scanned the supply closet one last time and nodded as a goodbye. However, when you turned around, you bumped into somebody, and it sent you flying back a bit as you didn’t expect anybody to be there with you. You looked up to see Thomas standing there, looking pissed. 

“Funny! I never knew you were on the market, pussycat. And now I find out you are newly engaged and to Mr Rogers no less? I thought you said you didn’t want a relationship,” he sneered as he neared you and you instinctively took a step back. That he had a crush on you, you knew, and you told him multiple times that you weren’t interested, that you weren’t looking for a boyfriend and that you just wanted to be left alone. You scoffed at his immature behaviour now and tried to push around him without saying a word because you knew there was no talking to people like him. But he wouldn’t let you go, of course. 

“Maybe if I fucked you, you would see that I deserve you just as much, huh?” He hissed and took your already sore arm, yanking you towards him till you were pressed tight against his chance. You still remained calm, knowing that trashing and screaming would get you nowhere. 

“Let me go, Thomas. Steve is outside, and he is waiting for me, so I suggest you take your disgusting hands off of me and just let me go,” you tried to reason, but, again, there was no such thing with dumbasses like him. What was more, he probably didn’t like your remark about his disgusting hands, and so, without warning, he slapped you right across your left cheek. 

That made you gasp for the first time because till then, you really thought he was just playing and that he would let you go, but now seeing the bewildered look on his face, you suddenly realised that maybe you didn’t have the upper hand in the argument. 

“Like fuck he is, what would Rogers do in these parts, huh? I bet it wasn’t even him who called me last night and that you were just trying to get the upper hand. But guess what, you fucking whore, you are not getting out of here until I fuck you unconscious,” he roared and you gulped, trying to think of possible escape routes. But you were in a fucking supply closet, so there was literally just the one door, and Thomas was occupying the whole space in front of it. So, you’d just have to fight your way through. You were a little rusty, but this big-bellied idiot would stand no chance. 

But before you had the opportunity to execute your plan, the door behind him flew open and revealed one fo the turtlenecks (you made a mental note to actually learn their names because this was just awkward) and a very angry-looking Steve. 

Thomas faltered in his movement towards you and checked who had the audacity to interrupt him. The shock and fear on his face were priceless. 

Steve didn’t waste any more time as he lunged himself at the man and punched him straight in the nose, and the sickening crack you heard must have meant Steve broke it. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care enough to pity Thomas. You warned him, even though you didn’t expect Steve actually coming to your rescue. There were some advantages to being tied to him, it seemed. 

The turtleneck then took Steve’s place by Thomas, probably so that he wouldn’t escape and Steve marched towards you, still looking too pissed for you to stand calmly under his searching gaze. 

“Did he hurt you?” He sneered but didn’t wait for your reply as he checked your face, seeing your puffed left cheek which told him all he needed to know. The bruise already forming on your arm was both from him and from Thomas, so he didn’t comment on that, but Steve wiped the trickle of blood in the corner of your mouth before he turned around and now calmly walked towards Thomas. 

“Next time that degenerated brain of yours even thinks of her, I will come and slice your throat. Am I clear?” Steve spat into Thomas’s face who just nodded, probably glad that he got out of it so easily. What he didn’t see coming (and to be honest, neither did you) was the turtleneck suddenly pulled out a big-ass knife out of somewhere and the air filled with the bone-chilling cries as he cut Thomas’ finger off as if it was the most normal thing to do before he wiped the knife on Thomas’s shirt and tucked it back in his pocket. The blood flowing from the wound was thick and almost purple, and you had to shut your eyes at the scene. But the image was already seared into your brain forever. 

“Fucking rapist,” Steve said and kicked the already laying man, motioning to the turtleneck and you that you were to follow him. But your legs weren’t listening to your brain, as you were just watching Thomas writhing in pain, wailing and sobbing, and all that because he dared to touch you. An involuntary shudder shook your body, and it as only when you felt an arm around your torso, pulling you to the person’s side that you woke up. Steve didn’t say anything as he came back and wrapped his arm around you, walking you out of there, probably used to that people were dazed when they saw that much blood. And that was just a cut-off finger, how would it look if a person actually bled out there?

“Here, have a piece of chocolate, it should help you,” Steve whispered into your ear as he handed you a little piece when you finally made it to his car, and you took it without question, savouring the sweet taste on your tongue as it streamed into your system like the most delicious medicine. You took a deep breath, your brain recognising that it was a different environment and that the stench of the pub was long gone as was the blood. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” you heard yourself saying meekly, but there was no reprimanding him, there was no anger in your voice and Steve heard that. He knew it was the shock of the scene talking because you weren’t one of them. You didn’t see blood on an almost daily basis as he did and you had the right to be surprised. 

“I actually had to, Y/N. He touched you, he hurt you and nobody hurts what’s mine. And you are mine now or will be very soon, and I can’t have dickheads like him running around the city thinking they are invincible. You are under my protection, and the whole world has to realise that,” he tried to make you see his point, and when you nodded solemnly, he saw you understood it. You might not have been ok with it, but that was another thing, and that would take time. Steve hoped people wouldn’t be so dumb and try anything on you, but, the truth be told, inwardly he knew he would have to protect you more often than not because some people had a death wish. 

“Are you up to discussing our marriage, or do you want me to drive you home?” He asked, and you looked at him for the first time since the pub scene. You shook your head and chuckled a little, not understanding where was this coming from. It was apparent that there were many layers to Steve Rogers, but his mood swings were giving you a headache already. One second he was the infamous mobster and the other he impersonated a caring boyfriend? 

“I’m fine, Steve, thank you. I was just taken by surprise because I thought I would have to take him down myself, and I probably wouldn’t cut off his finger in the process, but we all do our things. I’m good for a discussion, if you are,” you gave him your best encouraging smile and Steve stared at you in disbelief for a moment before he averted his eyes towards the driver and gave him a signal that he was to take you two to Steve’s mansion. 

Three hours later, you regretted your decision greatly. Steve and you had been talking the whole time, trying to reach a compromise that would be suitable for both of you considering your marriage and your wedding. You were quite surprised when Steve came up with things that were up for discussion because you really thought he would just come with a set of rules for you to follow, and that would be it. Well, the set of rules was there, but so were other things, like where you’d like to live (it was either the New York mansion which he called the apartment or some villa he had in Hamptons, apparently), what were the countries he could take you (which was actually a nice touch) and others. You didn’t give a damn about a lot of the stuff, but the countries were something that caught your attention. 

“I would love to visit different places, that’s beyond doubt, but I do not wish to be taken to California, ever,” you insisted, and while Steve tried to inquire why it was that California was on your hard-no list, you wouldn’t budge. You just told him that you weren’t a fan of the hot weather and the swarm of people you heard was in LA and that it was the only place where you wouldn’t go with him, under no circumstances. After a while, he gave up and just jotted it down with a nod. 

“Now, to the sex thing, do you want it on paper that I don’t want you in this way or are you good with my word?” 

You felt your cheeks heating up, but you tossed your pride away again. This was a business meeting, and Steve was actually extremely honest with you, so the best you could do was to be frank with him as well. 

“I’m good with your word, thank you for asking. What I’d like on paper is that you won’t trade me with information. I don’t wanna wake up one morning to be chained by some of your pistol-buddies who wanted to fuck Steve’s wife,” you raised a brow, and Steve chuckled and licked his lips, which was something that got your attention. You snapped at your brain to stop the thought flooding your brain, and a part of you considered putting licking his own lips around you on the hard-no’s list for a second. 

“Alright, I will never do that, and I will put that in our contract. Now, have you decided where you want to live? And no, your own apartment isn’t an answer. I’m willing to pay the expenses so that your friends can stay there, but you are coming to live with me, either here or in Hamptons. So, which one is it?” 

“Here,” you answered after a while, “I have my job here so I can’t be going back forth to Hamptons every day. Speaking of my job, will you require my presence at every meeting? I’m just asking if I even have a chance attaining my job as is, or if I should quit now because you will never let me go there again.” 

“I would have let them fire you if I thought about not letting you work there anymore, now, wouldn’t I? Most of the meetings that I will need you are at night, so your work is fine. I hope your boss will give you enough vacation days because we will need those, but other than that, I think you will be fine at the gallery. Besides, I’ve assigned a personal bodyguard for you who will go everywhere with you, so you won’t have to worry about anybody attacking you,” he concluded, looking proud of himself. You, on the other hand, were bewildered. 

“A personal what now? Steve, I can’t just show up at work with some huge guy in all black following me everywhere I move. I saw the looks from some of my coworkers, and they would never accept me if I had a bodyguard, c’mon,” you were desperate now because just the thought made you shudder. 

“This is not negotiable, so just learn to live with it. Alright, I think that’s all from that, and we will both sign it before the wedding. Now, the wedding will be next week. I already hired planners, so that the only thing you need to care about is the wedding dress. It’s just for a show, and if it were up to me, we would just go to the city hall, but the world needs to see this wedding, so we’re doing it in the Weylin. Write down your favourite colours and flowers, the cake will be red velvet, and that’s not negotiable, but everything else you want, you write down, and the planners will do it. Also, write down all the guests you’d like to invite, family and all that, so we know how many guests we’re having,” Steve rambled on, but your mind wandered towards your family. 

None of them would be attending the wedding, and your heart gave a painful tug at the thought. You had always wanted your dad to walk you down the aisle, and he was so excited to do so, but now that wasn’t possible. And your beautiful mother… The memories made your eyes water, but you blinked the tears away quickly enough so that Steve wouldn’t see them. But he was used to reading people, so he saw your reaction to him mentioning a family very clearly, he just decided against commenting on it. Yet. 

“Alright, I’ll send you all the lists by Saturday, if that’s good enough, and I’m actually good with red velvet. It would be a problem if you said some cakes with loads of nuts because I’m extremely allergic to a majority of those, you should know about that, but red velvet is fine enough,” you nodded, and Steve did as well, glad he didn’t have to fight you on that one. Not that it would be a fruitful fight since the red velvet was his favourite type of cake on Earth. 

“I want you to move in before the wedding, I’ll have a room set up for you tomorrow, and you can bring whatever you want from your home. You will have access to my credit card, but I’m warning you, excessive spending will not be tolerated, alright?” 

You scoffed and rolled your eyes but bowed your head in mocked understanding. Steve had obviously spent his life with women only caring about the sum on his credit card, while you couldn’t care less. The card would be good for the wedding dress, but that was about it. You realised a long time ago that the fashion industry was one of the most dangerous ones for the environment, and while you still shopped from time to time, you tried to reduce it to a minimum. And if you did shop, you loved local stores and fair-trade manufacturers, who vowed to keep the well-being of the planet their number one priority. 

“I’ll take it that you understood it. Fine, so, you’ll move in tomorrow, I think my people can manage it till that. So, they’ll pick you up, let’s say, around 8 PM? That enough time?” 

You blinked and took the information in. He wanted you to move in tomorrow. Not in a week so you’d have time to actually pack and say goodbye to your friends, even if you still planned on meeting them every other day or so. You wanted a goodbye sleepover where you’d just laugh and drink and hope that the year would be a good one. Or, at least, not a disastrous one. 

“That’s definitely not enough time, Steve. Can’t it wait till next week? I need to say goodbye to my friends, and it’s already late, so we can’t do it tonight and just… Give me at least till Saturday evening, Steve, please,” you tried to bargain, and while you saw he wasn’t the greatest of fans, he agreed eventually. That ended your discussion, and you were soon driven away from the house you would soon call yours.

/ Next Chapter >

Taglists in reblogs :) xx

[mkstrigidae]

This might be a lot since there’s so many characters in APWH, but could you share something secret about each character that no one else knows or maybe just a fun fact?

I am so sorry I’m answering this so late- I try not to be a human disaster, but inevitably end up being one most days.

Oooooooh this one is very interesting- they might not all be secrets, because for some characters, that would be giving away major plot points, but fun facts I can do! Let’s see what I’ve got (below the cut):

Robb: Has definitely licked a bone on a dare before, is actually a decent artist (much like Sansa) and does a fair amount of sketching in the field, and has an engagement ring for Tal in his work locker that no one knows about yet :) Inherited Catelyn’s ability for leadership, and is really good at dealing with Logistics, management, and the bureaucracy involved in his job. Hangs out with the experimental archeology students a lot (he’s like the accidental older brother for half the department) and would definitely wear handmade linen armor from someone’s project and let an undergrad shoot arrows at him to test it. (For those of you unaware, linen armor is next to impossible to cut without an extremely specific and sharp type of electric saw). Is good friends with Sarella, who’s going through grad school in Oldtown as well. Has been reluctantly dragged into the feud between the archaeology/anthropology and paleontology departments.

Aegon: is a fairly talented piano player, has always liked to cook, but got really good at it when he was dating an adjunct professor in grad school (none of his family knows about the relationship, but Theon does). Has been taking night classes recently to try and learn the Old Tongue bc he and Lyanna are particularly close. Dates casually, and volunteers at a community center for at-risk kids in Kings Landing on weekends. Is the only Targ sibling emotionally aware enough to spend time with Viserys, and is his grandmother Rhaella’s favorite.  

Rhae: Actually really likes listening to heavy metal, especially when she’s working, and is really into the Westerosi equivalent of late night comedy. Will get really invested in hobbies for like, a few months and then move on to something completely different. Is her grandfather Aerys’ favorite, and has him wrapped around her finger. Makes a game of antagonizing Viserys at Targ family functions, and has been inseparable from Margaery since they met in college. Thought her cousin Obara was the coolest person in the world when she was a kid. Most likely of all the characters to do a triathlon without breaking a nail.

Bran: Might be one sociology class away from identifying as an anarchist. Kind of wants to be a professor and will probably write novels someday. Is really into flea markets and will go antiquing with Ned and Elia and sometimes Cat. Loves kayaking and decorates his wheelchair elaborately for holidays. He’s won several costume contests at school for it. Very snarky. If Sansa had been raised by the starks, they would have had a standing Saturday lunch date to snark and gossip about the rest of the fam.

Jon: wanted to be a forest ranger for the longest time and then a writer, but felt like he had to choose a more reputable career, and is kind of jealous that Robb decided to say ‘fuck it’ and become an archaeologist. Really wants to travel, although he picked law after His Valyrian is passable (the targ sibs spoke it anytime they were with Rhaegar and fam), but he speaks Rhoynish fluently and is close to his cousins on the Martell side of the family. Really likes hiking and will often go with Cat, who is also fairly outdoorsy. Likes epic high fantasy novels and would really love LOTR.

Mya: is weirdly into dream interpretation, is bisexual, and has fallen into one of the canals in Braavos before on a school field trip. She was born in the Vale, and her mom moved to Braavos when she was five. Would definitely eat a bug on a dare. More tomboy than anything, but really enjoys getting dressed up and being feminine. Likes painting her nails fun colors. Who gives a shit about gender expectations? Not Mya.

Sansa: the first person she kisses in APWH isn’t going to be Jon…;) If she’d been raised by the Starks, she might have gone to school for journalism or become a novelist. Hates math, but is a passable accountant because of what Baelish taught her to help him with the books for his restaurants. Doesn’t like to ever wear her hair down, and has a collection of decorative bobby pins for updos that she’s acquired from flea markets in Braavos. Really loves to swim. Pushed the boy who knocked Mya into the canal in after her, but none of the teachers believe him when he accuses her, because it’s sweet, kind, well-behaved Sansa.

Robin: Secretly likes to listen to musicals and is a fairly good singer. In a group chat with Doree and Loree who are drastically improving his social skills and the three of them are parent-trap level plotting. Really dislikes doctors and hospitals. Used to ask Sansa to draw birds for him a lot when he was younger and still has most of them.

Rickon: is actually better with computers and smarter than anyone realizes, because he’s such a jock on the surface. Very used to going with the flow and adapting to change. His favorite classes are chemistry and bio, but he doesn’t really like writing. Is really popular and well-liked among his classmates, but can have a temper when he thinks an injustice is occurring. Is generally just good with animals.

Catelyn: Grew up going hunting with her uncle and always had a stronger stomach for it than Lysa and Edmure did. Is half-estranged from her father because of a disagreement they had regarding Catelyn’s inability to move on after the kidnapping, and a tense relationship with her brother after he married Roslyn Frey (The Freys were vocal supporters of Roose Bolton’s politics and had a hand in publicizing the rumors about the Starks being responsible for Sansa’s disappearance- Walder Frey owns several prominent southern newspapers), but they’re working on mending fences. Takes fairly long walks outside regularly, and would be a bruce springsteen fan. The most intimidating of the entire family.

Arya: Went through a true crime phase. Really enjoys learning languages, her favorite classes this past semester were her Ancient Ghiscari course and her global politics seminar, because they got to debate current issues every week. Like Sansa, she really likes people-watching. Will probably end up at the Olympics for fencing at some point, but was also a sprinter in high school on the track team.

Ned: Probably dropped acid at least once in college. Really enjoys skiing. Learned how to play the guitar as a part of his midlife crisis. Met Cat after she went on two dates with his brother Brandon and they decided they were better as friends. Brandon brought her to a party, and Ned ended up giving her a ride home after his brother found another girl to chat up. They quickly found out that they had a lot in common, and she got along famously with his mother, who Ned was extremely close to. Has a serious sweet tooth

Elia: Likes to paint, but doesn’t think she’s very good at it. Grew up speaking Rhoynish with her family, and taught it to the kids. Has forgotten more about art than most people will ever know, and is extremely efficient when set loose in a flea market. Really likes theater and ballet, and took ballet classes through college.

Lyanna: is working on a book about money in Westerosi politics that’s tied into her current investigation of the Boltons, but only Elia knows about it. Grew up far north, and her first language was the Old tongue rather than Andali, but didn’t want her kids picking it up, because the accent is stigmatized. Keeps notes for her articles in the Old Tongue to keep her nosy kids from reading them.

Theon: Is doing a psychiatry residency in King’s Landing currently. Does a fair amount of biking, and 100% does a polar bear swim in the ocean every winter (Aegon always shows up to cheer him on and they go out for drinks afterwards- his girlfriend, Jeyne, thinks this is insane). Refuses to eat blue foods and was actually a decent French horn player in high school.

Thank you- this was a fun one!! :)

[mellomedia]

Youth Culture

For Media & Society’s first blog post, our class watched Euphoria, Mid90s, Mean Girls, Kids, and The Breakfast Club. If you haven’t figured out the theme yet, it’s youth culture. Most of these films were set in the 80s and 90s before this current generation. This is the first generation where our lives are saturated by mobile technology and social media (Divecha, 2017). But no matter what generation, youth culture has many common behaviors, or misbehaviors.

Often when I watch a film or read a comic book, I wonder if I relate to the story or anyone in it. I looked for anything in common I might have with one of the characters in the five films we watched. I can identify with Ray from Mid90s the most. I’m not a die-hard skateboarder like Ray. In fact I can’t skateboard at all, but I dedicate all my time and energy into art and animation. While we have different interests, I can relate to Ray’s passion for something he enjoys and the energy he puts into it. Ray is the top skateboarder in his group and practiced every day. All my spare time is spent drawing and taking online animation courses. My goal is to always do better than what I did yesterday. Words to describe Ray would be the same way I describe myself: down to earth, not concerned with fitting in, my own person, caring, always willing to help, and a very loyal friend. When Stevie joins the skateboard crew in the film Mid90s, he finally digs up some money to buy Ruben’s old, used skateboard. Stevie gets injured while attempting an insane jump over a hole in a roof and breaks his skateboard. Ray sees how much Stevie is trying to fit in, no matter how many falls he takes, he gets back up. Ray has a big heart and builds Stevie a new skateboard. As I mentioned, I’m not a skateboarder, but I enjoy trying to make people smile with my art. I enjoy drawing a cartoon of a friend to help them to get out of a funk or just listen to whatever it is they are going through. 

These films all share a few common themes. One theme is belonging. I admit I looked up the term “fitting in” and it was compared to belonging. Fitting in is defined as to be like other people in a group – what they wear, how they act, how they look. (Pace, 2018) Belonging is a basic human need – it is about acceptance – being where you want to be and being where you are wanted (Pace, 2018). A few examples are Stevie (Mid90s) wants to be accepted into the skateboard crew; Brian (The Breakfast Club) brings a flare gun to school as a suicide attempt because he didn't feel he was good enough; and Cady (Mean Girls) is the new girl trying to get accepted by The Plastics.

My freshman year in high school definitely falls into the theme of belonging. I struggled with speech and have a learning disorder. And at the time I had zero confidence in socializing. I’d walk over to a group of kids in the cafeteria just to try to get involved in the conversation, but I couldn’t form sentences quick enough to jump in. I would be the weird kid just standing there. One day my speech therapist asked me what I wanted to improve and I told her I wanted to gain confidence in socializing. She told me the best way to do this would be to just try to talk to more people. Well in high school that worked with some kids, but not all. I’ll never forget one day in the cafeteria I was trying to find a place to sit and eat lunch. I saw an empty chair at a table where a ‘friend’ was sitting. The group was taking turns roasting one another. At one point another kid challenged me. I was doing fine until he said, “You know people are only nice to you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.” That hurt like hell. He was referring to my speech impairment. I got up from the table and walked away. And that ‘friend’ at the table didn’t defend me at all. One girl came running over to make sure I was alright. I was pissed and hurt. I was not alright. Just so you don’t think I went off the deep end and had a miserable high school experience, I actually gained a great friend in high school that day. Alex, who was a senior, saw me leave track practice early. My head just wasn’t into track, so I went to sit in the empty cafeteria hoping to clear my head. He asked how things were going and I told him what happened that day. He told me, “It’s not easy finding out who your real friends are. But don’t change for anyone and don’t try to be like anyone else. Just be you.” I’ll never forget how he took the time to talk to me. After his advice, I could care less about belonging.

Another common theme between all five films is rebellion. When they aren’t skateboarding, most of the characters in Mid90s spend their time partying, drinking, and doing drugs. In The Breakfast Club, each character is in detention because they rebelled in some way. Why else would they be in detention? Every character in Kids was a rebel, actually more like a criminal. I bet the writer of the film was too.

A third theme is “bro” culture. “Bro” culture is defined as people who are bullies but at the end of the day they have your back, like a brother (Sloothunter42, 2018). Two great examples of “bros” are John (The Breakfast Club) and Ian (Mid90s). Throughout The Breakfast Club, John constantly insults the other kids in detention. He even insults the principal. The group escapes detention to wander the hallways. When the principal sees them, John saves the group by telling them to go back to the library while he distracts the principal. This link shows you the scene I’m explaining: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Iq7MRlHg5I (Hughes, 1985). Not something you would have expected from a bully, but you would from a “bro.” In Mid90s, Stevie’s brother, Ian, beats the crap out of him every chance he gets. But when Stevie is laying in a hospital bed after a car accident, his brother is there by his side. He even shares his precious orange juice.

Now onto one of my favorite things in life, music! I put together a playlist that relates to my adolescent experience. In no particular order, here are 10 songs and what each means to me. But let me point out that some song lyrics mean something to me, while with other songs it was the energy it gives off. I’m all about positive energy. First song is “Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra. I first heard this song during the movie Guardians of the Galaxy. This song kept me motivated and positive during high school. If I was having a bad day, this was my ‘go to’ song. I also listened to it every day on my way to school. Next is “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley, a.k.a. CeeLo Green. This song reminds me of my mind, imagination, and the stuff I think about. I always have a trillion things going on in my head. I guess that explains my poor focus skills and super procrastination. “Inner Ninja” by Classified is another upbeat song. A few lines that always stuck in my head are, “I find my inner strength and I re-up; Here we go, I know I've never been the smartest or wisest; But I realize what it takes; Never dwell in the dark cause the sun always rises.” My junior year of high school I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. It has and still is life-changing and as much as I don’t let it change who I am, I’m human. But as the song says, don’t dwell on the negative, look for the positive. I always remind myself of the positive. “Through the Fire and Flames” by DragonForce always fueled my brain when I was tired of doing homework or studying. To me the lyrics mean to keep moving forward no matter how difficult. Just look at what your goal is and don’t give up. Plus this song has one hell of a guitar solo that is very motivating. Michael Jackson is one of my favorite artists and “Man in the Mirror” reminds me how important it is to try to do good in the world and make a positive change. Regardless of culture, color, religion, and disability, we are all capable of making good changes in the world. I tried this on a much smaller scale in high school by volunteering at the food pantry and community events. “Clint Eastwood” by Gorillaz is one of many songs by this group that I like. It’s not so much the words I relate to, but I love the animation in their music videos. I remember the first time I saw one of their videos I thought how cool and mysterious it was that we only see the singers as cartoons. We are never shown who they really are. I like the fact that it’s different. Different is good in my world. “Intergalactic” by Beastie Boys reminds me of breakdancing and dancing in general. I love to dance and looked forward to every prom and homecoming dance at high school. “Without Me” by Eminem reminds me that no matter how much people criticize you, you can be very successful at what you enjoy doing. The last song on my list is “Take Me Out” by Franz Ferdinand. To be honest, I just like the beat of the song and it’s one of those songs I listened to over and over in high school.

So that wraps up my Youth Culture blog. I hope it gave you a better understanding of how I relate to the assigned films. But let me make one thing clear, I do not relate to anything in the film Kids. Not one thing.

Below is my self portrait of what goes through my mind. 

Artwork by: Marcello Laudato

[ravenwolfie97]

2020 Art Summary

Yep, it’s 2021 already. 2020 is finally over. It felt like it lasted forever, and it felt like the end would never come, but here we are. Crazy how the time flew by.

I felt like I didn’t get much art done this year because of Current World Event, but I made a lot more than I thought I did. Even some of my new favorite pieces came out of this year, so I think that’s worth celebrating and looking back upon!

I was insanely productive during the first month of 2020, and looking back I was surprised at all the stuff I did, but then I remembered that that winter season was actually one of the best times of my life! I started being more socially involved, and I think my newfound drive at the time translated into all the art I pumped out this month. This is just a small fraction of what I made in January, but I only have so much space. Quite a few complex pieces in both style exploration and polishing my own style.

Apparently February was a rather intimate month. Things began to slow down in terms of my own art here, with me spending more time in social settings and school work ramping up, I didn’t have as much time to coop up in my room to draw. I did wanna do something for a friend’s Valentine’s Day OC art challenge, so I drew my lovey-dovey couple from Dance of 1000 Words havin’ a dance. Nothing actually came of that challenge, but it was fun to do regardless.

One of the things I was most proud of in the winter season was making more friends, and one of the closest friends I made was completely coincidental. I met a person named Kiri on the bus one night I decided to volunteer somewhere by myself, and we ended up chatting and getting along. They quickly told me their tumblr username, and I shot them a message immediately after they left. A couple days later, we met up for brunch, and we started becoming really close friends and creative partners!

Not much else happened in March cuz that’s when Current World Event started becoming an issue, but Kiri and I still kept in close touch and we randomly started developing a concept for a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Galar Edition. These are a handful of characters we thought up, with Skipper the Scorbunny and Dross the Dreepy as the main characters, Morgrem as the main antagonist, and some shopkeepers such as those of the Greedent Bank and the Indeedee General Store. This was also my first time drawing all of these Galar Pokemon (except Scorbunny, but I also made Skipper a bit more unique than a regular Scorbunny).

Lots of events happened this month. First of all, Steven Universe Future ended, one of my favorite and most influential shows was no longer continuing. I had to do something as tribute, both as a send-off to one of the greatest cartoons in the world and as a cathartic release for my feelings towards it.

A while later, I got the opportunity to start playing an MMO in beta called Fer.al, by the same people who made Animal Jam, which coincidentally I had also beta tested for back in the day. I ended up getting really attached to my first character, a Senri I named Sasha, and though I’ve made more characters than them since, they’re still my absolute favorite. Though I haven’t touched the game in a few months, I was really engrossed for a long time and enjoyed playing through the beta and early access phases.

At the end of the month, some friends of mine invited to a roleplay group with some mutuals, and we all played characters in a crime syndicate. Just a bunch of ragtag thieves and criminals who ended up together in order to protect an artifact called the Crown of Thieves, which was essentially a flag to be taken by other groups to prove that they are the best thieves in the land. My character was based heavily on my sona (if it wasn’t obvious) and was also influenced by Cloud Strife, since the FFVII Remake had just come out and I was super into watching the cutscenes at the time. My character’s (code)name is Valkyrie, and they are a mercenary, going between multiple different employers to carry out whatever duties they need to do. They have a more complicated backstory, but presently they were recently hired by recommendation of their friend Shark (played by @shmoots-universe​ who is also My friend now ily maya) who works with a group called the Court Cards who are currently in possession of the Crown of Thieves. Valk never really had a place to call home, but staying with this group of people had to be the closest they could get to that feeling. They still sleep with a knife under their pillow because of trust issue but that’s okay.

Okay, so technically these examples started in April, but I continued making content with them in May, and the month was just pretty void of art in general, so here I am addressing them.

There were two main things I worked on this month: a Steven Universe AU of my own and the whole #sixfanarts thing that kicked off around then. Let’s start with the fanart bits. I did two and a half of them (six in April and nine in May), and it was so much fun to be able to draw stuff I don’t normally do! My personal favorites are shown here: Blake Belladonna from RWBY, Roll from Megaman, Yuki Konno from Sword Art Online, and Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. The other thing I’d been planning for a while was a Steven Universe AU, probably to cope with the show being over but also because I was inspired by a lot of those SU AU artists I started following at the time. I won’t share the details here because it’s gonna have its own blog at some point, but the example I’ve shown here is of a comic I made loosely in order to introduce a divergence in the plot of the story as well as introduce a character unique to my AU. It was a lot of fun figuring out how to draw the characters and get a feel for the style.

As the year progressed, my amount of art I made per month began to dwindle, this time mostly because school was kicking my ass especially hard with finals. However, I took what time I had to get some backburner pieces finished, like the Tigerlily picture which I sketched out a couple months back, and the Gunvolt picture which I started working on SIX YEARS AGO. I don’t quite know why I got the urge to work on it again after so long, but it was nice to finally realize. The other drawing for DOTS was done in the dead of night but I was really happy with how it came out.

Despite only having two summer classes left of school, this month was really rough because they demanded a lot of my time and attention. I did not have the gumption to do anything digital, so I stuck to my sketchbook to get out what I felt like getting out.

My friends and I did a stream of the game Helltaker, and I really enjoyed the concept, so in following my friends I made my own Helltaker demon OC named Raksha the Ravenous Demon (it’s a pun but also got mythical insp). I also got super into Hazbin Hotel at this point, mostly because the Addict music video dropped and I couldn’t get enough of it, so I doodled Angel Dust cuz I felt like it. The other drawing I did was actually a free commission I gave a friend of mine as a prize for a trivia game show I ran back in June. He along with a couple other friends got some free drawings from me for getting the top three scores, and this one in particular was fun because of how interesting it was. He wanted me to draw a video game reviewer called the Irate Gamer from a specific moment, and I decided to go ham and just make it as dramatic as possible.

University classes finally wrapped up and right after that I was in the process of moving out of my apartment and getting adjusted to living with my parents again. I did a couple of agg.io drawing sessions with my friends from the Court Cards group as well as a new Dungeons and Dragons homebrew group I had joined. I drew some more of Valkyrie and came up with a design for my DND character Qakuqtuq (or Kai for short). He is monkey grandpa and I love him.

My main focus was on finishing a polished piece for my friend Cake, whose birthday was in the upcoming month. I wanted it to be as amazing as possible, so I put a lot of time into getting more detailed and making them look good. In addition to that, I did a few TOME doodles just for fun. The creature on the bottom was for this month’s art challenge on my Discord server where we made original TOMERPG monsters, and I created Hundylow, a Crystal-element monster based on the Grindylow from English folklore.

This month was a lot more productive than the past few had been. I tried to do a 31-day art challenge called Creatober but failed to get past the third prompt because I was still swamped with other work. I’m still happy with what little I did, including the piece with my characters Kyle and Guarudan from DSWD.

I don’t remember how, but I also suddenly rediscovered an old Flipnote Hatena series called Tales of LostClan, a Warriors fan series that I would say was the most obscure thing I’ve ever been super invested in. It was what got me into the actual Warriors books, and I liked it so much I redrew the animations into a comic... twice. Didn’t get nearly as far the second time but clearly my love for this little fanfiction had not waned after nearly a decade. I felt like drawing a book cover/movie poster for the series, just to get it out there and see how much I’ve improved over all that time.

Also I felt like making a vampiresona just before Halloween because I never dress up for Halloween in art (or real life anymore, for that matter), and I wanted to do something like that for once. It was short-lived but I really liked the design!

The focus of this month was definitely on Pokemon stuff. As per usual I contributed to the current Gotta Draw ‘Em All collab, and I was tasked to draw Regieleki. It was really fun to figure out how to make it stand out and look like it was made of electricity.

I also committed a lot of my spare time to my Fakemon Gym Leaders, as I had been working on bringing them to life in the past year or so now. As of this post, I’ve finished rendering their full body poses and gym badges, but I’m still working on completing all eight VS portraits, the first half of which are shown here.

I... didn’t draw anything this month, actually. What I’m showing here was worked on in the last few days but has actually been in progress for a couple of months, and I just finished it earlier today, in 2021. But I needed to show something off, and it’s also about time I mentioned it.

Back in October, I kept seeing people rave about this game called Genshin Impact, and I was interested but not so much as to start playing it... until my friends started playing and I was like “fuck it, let’s download it”. Since that day, I have been super immersed and in love with this game, to the point I came up with my own canon based on my gameplay experiences. This also included the creation of an original player character: Astra, the non-binary Traveller. And now, I’ve finally drawn them and brought them to life.

It has been one hell of a year. I had some of the highest highs and lowest lows in 2020, lots of changes, and I have now officially moved onto the next chapter of my life now that my time at university is finally over. I’m very excited for what 2021 has to offer, and I’m going to go forward with great ambition.

[grieftaken]

[ SOFIA CARSON, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER. ]    hey, isn’t that VALENTINA SALAZAR ? just the other day i saw them roaming around forks !  i know they look like a normal 23 / 23 year old, but i heard a rumor that they’re actually a GIFTED HUMAN & are always hanging around with THEIR FRIENDS. weird, right ? i wonder if they know anything about all the deaths that have been going on. anyways, i knew it was them ‘cause they reminded me of over-sized varsity sweaters, jasmine tea, loud clicking of the keyboard, light from a computer in a dark room. + life force manipulation. [ cess, she/her, gmt+8. ]

GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Valentina Antonella Salazar

NICKNAME(S): Val

DATE OF BIRTH: April 10, 1997

PHYSICAL AGE: 23

ACTUAL AGE: 23

NATIONALITY: American

OCCUPATION: Photographer

RELIGION: Catholic

ORIENTATION: Heteroromantic Heterosexual

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Sofia Carson

HEIGHT: 5'4"

WEIGHT: 125lbs

HAIR COLOR: Black

EYE COLOR: Brown

DOMINANT HAND: Right

DISTINGUISHING FEATURE(S): Piercing on both ears   

BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Forks, WA

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Forks, WA

FINANCIAL STATUS: Middle Class

EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate

DEGREES: Graphic Design (minor in Photography)

ESTIMATED IQ: 115

SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish

MISC: N/A

RELATIONSHIPS

FATHER: Alejandro Salazar

MOTHER: Luciana Salazar

SIBLING/S: ( WC )

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: N/A

CHILDREN: N/A

OTHER FAMILY: ( WC )

SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP/S: N/A

ABOUT

Born and raised in Forks, Val was always someone she would consider, mundane, or boring. At the age of four, her parents divorced. Her father moved away. Her mother raised her along with her grandparents and relatives who dotted on her every chance they could. Which is all time as they all live close together. Her childhood was nothing special. Val grew up playing with cousins and children in the neighborhood. The only exciting thing in her childhood was her falling off a tree and getting on a cast. She got all her friends and family to sign it like any other kid. At school, she wasn’t a popular kid, but she wasn’t one of the ones that were bullied either. She was the in-between. She blended well in the background. A wallflower of all things.

Her first cameras were an old camera and a polaroid given to her by one of her aunts. She worked in the paper as a photographer and wanted to pass them down to Val. Most thirteen year old girls would’ve preferred something a little more “up to date” but she loved it. Soon enough she had hundreds of photos of everyone — family, friends, pets, even plants. Her lunch money was spent on film for both cameras and she had shoe boxes filled with photos. She even went out of her way to learn how to print photos. 

It wasn’t until she went to highschool did she manage to save up enough (from doing chores and helping out in her uncle’s hardware store and her other uncle’s auto shop) to buy a second hand camera. Val fell in love with Photography even more. She joined any club that meant she got to use her photography skills and improve them even more. She didn’t let her passion get in the way of her academics. Her extracurriculars were the school paper and the yearbook committee. Even if it did cost her her social life. 

One night, she was forced by her friends to attend a party with them. Her family let her because they knew she needed a break from all the school work she’s been doing. It was her first night out and she wanted to make the most of it while being very careful. She didn’t want to be caught by adults in her first ever party. The rest of the night was a blur to her, having drunk more than she could handle despite knowing how to drink from her family who would let her drink under their supervision. 

( CAR ACCIDENT TW / BLOOD TW ) She was supposed to go home. Val knew that her friends were drunk and they’re better off in a taxi. But she didn’t tell them that and no one brought it up. So they all got into one of her friends' car and tried to drive them home. She barely remembered what happened next. One moment they were playing loud music and singing along to it, the next moment she woke up to everyone covered in blood. Panicking, she cried out for help and frantically shook her friends awake. To her horror, one of them wasn’t breathing. She didn’t know what to do. Keeping her hands on her dead friend, she felt a tingling sensation on her hands. Both unsure what to do and going with her instincts, she touched her friend’s head and closed her eyes. She didn’t pray, nor did she seek comfort in some entity but something inside her knew what to do. It only took a few moments thinking she was being insane thinking she could do something that her friend opened her eyes and sucked in a breath. According to the doctors they were all very lucky to have survived that accident.

After that incident, Val blamed it all on the alcohol, promising that she would never drink again. They were the lucky ones, she thought. It wasn’t something she did specifically. She wasn’t special by any means. It was just something that happens all the time. Or so she kept telling herself until she believed it. 

By the time they were all to start applying for college, she decided to take up art. It was approved by her family, but it wasn’t met with approval right away. Going into an Art program was expensive, time consuming and specifically, it was hard to find a job with an art degree. So she took up a multimedia course that both allows her to find a good job while pursuing her passion. It was a win win for everybody.

Having graduated four years later, she’s back in Forks taking a few weeks off — job hunting, while figuring out what to do with her life. Her family wanted to have her home before she ever decided to move to a bigger city to work in. Currently, she takes photos and videos for events, weddings, and parties while also working with her uncles. She doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty and working without getting paid (even though they insisted) as she owes her family for getting through college.

And she seemed to be doing just fine.

NOTORIOUS TIDBITS

Is allergic to seafood

Has a small heart tattoo behind her left ear

Has a truck named Boots. Yes, from Dora the Explorer.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

FAMILY - Half siblings, cousins, even aunt and uncles are all welcome

FRIENDS

FORMER CLASSMATES

CO-WORKERS ( both from automotive shop and hardware store her uncles owned )

NEIGHBORS

[magmahurricane]

A decade of friends - in no order, here’s to all the amazing people in my life old and new!

@shinkumancer : I remember following your work waaay back in the Archie Comic days. I had always been too shy to approach you, but I loved your work. I still remember so much of your Egg Boss art and it’s insane how far you’ve come. You’re still one of the sweetest, kindest people I know and I always enjoy the little drawpile sessions we have! 

@zlatis-art : We haven’t been friends for very long - it’s roughly been a year, now, but it feels like we’ve been friends longer. Something just... clicked when we met, and god I came on strong looking back! I don’t regret it tho - taking the plunge and letting you into my life was such a good call. You’re super patient and you strive so hard to treat everyone fairly and give people so much love. You’ve come such a long way with both your OCs and your art, and our calls are always so much fun! 

@sege-h : Would you believe I actually don’t remember exactly how we met...? I know it had something to do with the Sonic RPC iirc. But you’ve always been such a wonderful source of optimism and joy, and I love our talks! You’ve always been so supportive of me and I don’t know how to thank you for it?? I need to draw Storm and Carey doing more shenannigans when I get better!

@rainingautumn : I also don’t recall how, other than vague recollections of the Sonic RPC I think. I feel like I learned so much from you - you’ve provided me with different perspectives, which really helped me open my eyes to a lot of things. You’ve always been such a warm, positive presence while still standing firm and speaking up for yourself, which is so hard to do. I love your little messages, even if I don’t always know how to respond to them!

@boy-of-silence : You’re legit one of my oldest friends around and looking back on where we started it’s honestly kind of insane? We met on dA and we were practically babies like??? It’s insane, I remember so much and it all blurs together like mad, but we’ve always just sorta stuck by each other and I’m always so happy to see you on my dash. You got me into Homestuck, and you made me curious about Bioshock (I still need to finish Infinite), and I still remember the little art collabs we used to do...! I got nothing but good memories!

@kismeti : We don’t talk much, but I’m hoping to change that soon! I love your work, and you’ve put so much into your OCs. Seeing you tweet about petsites makes me think about Neopets and I age 500 years every time,, You honestly seem so sweet and kind and I can’t wait to see what more you’re gonna share with us in the new year!

@fini-mun : I don’t talk with you as much as I should (purely because I’m shy as all get out) but you’ve honestly been such an inspiration to me. You’re so incredibly kind and patient -- I still have that doodle you sent me while I had been down in the dumps. I remember I found you so intimidating when I first met you on dA, when I first tried to commission you -- and watching you grow as an artist and getting to know you has been so great! You don’t know how much I smiled that night when I expressed how I knew nothing about BatIM and you up and streamed the entire game live. I know we were both excited to play FO76 together and that was a let down for like, the entire fandom. But we should definately hang sometime and do stuff! Give your ratties my love!!

@oddpastrys : JAAADE,,, I vaguely remember meeting you in one of Kaden’s streams,, and then in Joan’s weird campaign. You’ve always been such a fun, energetic person and you always bring the best jokes. Deadass, watching RWBY with you both ruined it and enhanced it. You’re so much fun to be around and you always work so hard to cheer everyone up and please everyone, and we don’t say thank you often enough - I don’t thank you often enough. You’re so sweet and fun to be around and I’m 100% not sorry about all the horrible, horrible things I’ve made you see. 

@calderscauldron : Kaden!!! You’re another one of my oldest friends, and it’ll never be wild to me how insanely lucky it was that I happened to move to the same state as you. I remember when we were dumb kids on dA, and how you used to joke about kidnapping me -- and how my first thought when getting to Texas was “I should see where this guy lives and meet up!” sjkfdjkfs It’s been a helluva ride and I don’t regret it. We had our bumps and fallouts but we’ve always worked through it all -- and your art has come such a long way. You’re always so sweet and so much fun to be around.  You deserve so many nice things and I can’t thank you enough for sticking by my dumb ass for so long!

@haunted-pixel : Yet another decade-old friendship! Bronwyn it’s been such a fucking wild ride. I still remember your old OCs from back in the day; I remember our gryphon friend group, and our lizard group and screaming about digimon, I remember getting really into Kimba/Jungle Emperor Leo cos of you and your OCs, I remember all the drawings of Z and Miki. I remember Nuki and the others. It’s been such a long time and so much has changed around us both. We don’t talk as much anymore but I’m always thrilled when we do hit eachother up on twitter!! I seriously gotta draw more Carey x Zanity sometime. You’ve also just, improved so much as an artist and branched out so much?? Your plushies and your fursuits are absolutely amazing and I can’t believe how far you’ve come! I also still have the sketches you and your sister did for me when I was technically homeless and stuck in the hospital and I’ll always treasure them - and the Nack you made for me is still sitting cozy on my shelf, along with the yeen and Sonic you sent!

@nuttyrabbit : My absolute best friend!!! And probably most unexpected friend! I remember seeing your posts in the Archie Sonic tag way back when, and how my asshole ex used to rant about how she hated you for w/e reason. I used to be so intimidated by you because you told it how it is, and I respected your opinion so I was always lowkey afraid you thought I was stupid and hated my ideas/OCs. But even before we got close, you stuck your neck out for me when things got bad between my ex and me. And in 2018, we finally just started to click with our OC stuff.  Lady Luck became a huge comfort dynamic for the both of us. You always argue against it but I still say you’re one of the kindest people I know. You always try to look out for me and find ways to lend a hand when things get tough, you’re always trying to help me when I’m down and you go out of your way to cheer me up and I can’t thank you enough. Meeting you at RTX this year was incredible.  Thank you so much for being you. <3 

@finitevus : We don’t talk much but I can’t not add you!!! You’ve been so kind and supportive to me, and artistically you’ve always been such a big inspiration. I love your character designs and your writing is so so good, and you always strive to be so positive and warm to others and I promise I’m not ignoring you when you reach out; I’m just very shy and dumb ankjdjkfs I need to,,, say hello on discord sometime. And draw you many things!

@lightdax : You’re always a whole lot of fun and I refuse to apologize for your eyes with half the shit you’ve been exposed to by proxy. You’ve always been really sweet and you’ve really been pushing to improve this past year and it shows! Take time off your mayoral duties for the town of Cuckoldia and put up your OC bios tho! @nvllspace : I,, gotta tag ur RP blog cos IDK ur personal but JACKKIIEE. You’re so sweet and fun and your art is always such a treat. You came through with helping me realize just how toxic a certain person I needed to cut out of my life was, and you’ve always been so kind and supportive. You’re always a blast in our calls and I love your AUs so much! Also you need to stop having so many gorgeous characters cos holy shit,,,

@frecklefacefromouterspace : Nixe!  You’re usually busy these days but whenever we do catch you it’s always fun. If it wasn’t for your old server, the current server wouldn’t have even existed and you brought us all together! You’re always so sweet and bubbly and you have one of the cutest, most distinct styles I know.

And to all my other mutuals - thank you all so much for sticking by me!  I’m having difficulty typing now so I’m sorry I couldn’t get to everyone but sincerely: thank you, all of you, for making these past years such an amazing ride. I’ve learned so much from each of you and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for 2020!

[recentanimenews]

The Best Anime of the 2010s

Here it is, the third and final installment in our Best of the 2010s series! We’ve gotten manga and video games out of the way, so it’s time for anime.

If you’re just tuning in, here’s how it works: our three contributors (Evan Minto, Ink, and David Estrella) each ranked their top anime series and movies released between 2010 and 2019. We scored them all based on their positions in the three lists, and came up with a single combined list of 10, which you’ll find below. We haven’t seen every anime out there, so there may be some conspicuous omissions, but of all of our lists, this is the one we’re most confident in. That’s mainly because the contributors covered over 120 titles between the three of them! The full lists for anime, manga, and games, including our individual rankings, are now available on the Ani-Gamers Patreon.

Below you’ll find everything from lo-fi comedies to tragic war stories. And befitting the many ways anime is produced and distributed, our list contains TV series, net animations, short films, big-budget feature films, rotoscope animation, and more. It’s been a great decade for anime, and we hope you find something new (er, more like old) to add to your watch list. Enjoy, and feel free to chime in with your own picks in the comments!

10. Tantei Opera Milky Holmes: Act 2 (2012)

David Estrella: No one believes me when I say that Milky Holmes II is an essential anime and frankly, I don’t have the wherewithal to argue with close-minded idiots that have had the bulk of the 2010s to listen to me for once. If you have to ask, it’s already too late for you but in case you’re 14 and your first anime was a post-Bleach shonen thing, Milky Holmes is a comedy that begins as a mildly amusing goofy slapstick magical girl detective cartoon and soon spirals out into an insane spectacle that completely incinerates all the other half-way passable, middle-of-the-road multimedia schlock that used to made before it all became indistinguishable idol gacha crap. Someone went highly off-script on this production and every Milky Holmes afterwards is not even worth mentioning next to these first two seasons. Between this, gdgd Fairies, and Teekyu, the last breaths of creative expression in TV anime were all concentrated in 2012, and before we knew it, it was gone.

9. Flowers of Evil (2013)

Ink: As far as manga adaptations go, hell, as far as film goes, Flowers of Evil is nothing short of a masterwork. Layering animation atop live action (rotoscoping) to emulate the basic premise behind the poetic movement so treasured by the “tortured” protagonist … not to mention actually including relevant, inspirational poems, Director Hiroshi Nagahama takes great risks – from pacing to form and even content – and sticks the landing with technical and emotional force to improve upon the source material (even though the anime only adapts half the manga). It’s an anime that reveals how beautiful ugliness can be and vice-versa.

8. Kill la Kill (2013–2014)

Evan Minto: There’s nothing quite as enjoyable as watching Hiroyuki Imaishi and Kazuki Nakashima go to town on an anime TV series. Kill la Kill is a bonkers ride from start to finish. It’s got superpowered talking school uniforms, nudist secret societies, fanservice so obnoxious it somehow becomes cool, and a never-ending parade of shocking heel-turns. There’s something in there about fascism and the fashion industry and maybe if you squint hard enough you can argue it’s feminist, but the most important F word when it comes to Kill la Kill is “fun.”

7. Kizumonogatari (2016–2017)

David Estrella: I don’t think I’ll ever fly to Japan for the sake of seeing an anime film on opening day again, and fortunately Kizumonogatari was such a peak for cinema that I’m perfectly fine with that. Kizumonogatari left me fulfilled in a way that people with weaker immune systems would pass on to the hereafter upon leaving the theater. It’s not a coincidence that my interest in anime tanked severely once the Kizu trilogy wrapped up since, with a few rare exceptions, very little anime possesses the same ambitious spirit as I found in Kizumonogatari. While Makoto Shinkai is busy making extended Apple commercials under the guise of magical realist teen romance films, I’m really finding it easier and easier to call the anime medium completely and totally solved as early as 2017.

6. From the New World (2012–2013)

David Estrella: Due to circumstances outside of my control, From the New World appears higher on the list over the definitive best anime of the decade and I’m stuck writing about it. I’ll play along if only because From the New World is a great show that deserves another look to appreciate how much it was doing within the boundaries of weekly 24-minute episodes. Adapted from a science-fiction novel that will never be translated and published into English, it’s the rare sort of anime TV show that gets its hooks in early and continues sinking them in until the thought of taking a break before reaching the resolution is unbearable.

5. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure (2012–present)

David Estrella: The loudest JoJo people say that Stardust Crusaders is the best JoJo, then two camps split between Diamond is Unbreakable and Golden Wind say their JoJo is the best JoJo, and then I’m the obnoxious voice in the back that hoots and hollers anytime someone says the phrase “Battle Tendency”. All the other JoJo’s are technically more sophisticated than the first couple of parts, but none of them really match the sheer power of that initial hit, those two amazing openings, and the actual best JoJo, Joseph Joestar, voiced by Tomokazu Sugita giving the performance of a lifetime. At the very least, we will all be haunted by Roundabout memes for as long as JoJo remains relevant.

4. Endless Night (2015)

Ink: Storytelling that relies solely on visuals is seemingly rare in anime these days, and even though Sayo Yamamoto’s Animator Expo figure skating short (which led to the more verbose Yuri!!! on Ice) is backed by a perfectly expressive song by Hiroshi Nakamura, the latter is made superfluous thanks to emotionally soaked movements and settings, laudably implemented surreality, seamless flow, minimalist color palette, and evocative texturing. Seven minutes (if that) lays out, engrossingly, a complete story of inspiration, infatuation, and (ultimately) realization. Ignore the East German judge; the passion and implementation is a 10/10.

3. Inferno Cop (2012–2013)

Evan Minto: “Best of” lists like this one have a tendency toward “high” art, toward stories about Big Ideas and Important Subjects. Inferno Cop is the lowest art of all: a series of nonsensical, lo-fi cutout animated shorts written with the reckless abandon of children playing with action figures. It’s also one of the funniest anime series in a very long time, and certainly one of the best comedies of the decade. It’s only fitting that it served as the world’s introduction to Studio Trigger, who closed out the 2010s with their smash-hit feature film Promare.

2. The Tale of Princess Kaguya (2013)

Ink: The recently late and perpetually bereaved Isao Takahata was, ironically, given the work about which this blurb is written, a realist compared to Ghibli co-founder’s (Miyazaki) escapist tendencies. Why, then, is this retelling of a very familiar folktale in The Tale of Princess Kaguya so powerful? Because the characterizations are as palpable as the animation is expressive; there are few scenes in the all of anime that draw breath like those of the MC’s dashing sequences. The art itself is simultaneously emulative of both a child’s picture book and a depiction of time as age sets in. Fairy tales are forever. RIP and thank you, Takahata.

1. In This Corner of the World (2016)

Evan Minto: This movie handily snagged the #1 spot in our ranking, and it’s not hard to see why. It’s a story about the hardships of World War II told not through combat, but through the grueling travails of civilian life. In This Corner of the World’s gut-wrenching tragedy is tempered and amplified by the currents of love and big-hearted, true-to-life comedy that run through it. The film is a beautiful tribute to the innocent souls trampled by war, comparable and even — dare I say — superior to the classic Grave of the Fireflies.

Check out our list of the Best Manga and the Best Video Games of the 2010s!

The Best Anime of the 2010s originally appeared on Ani-Gamers on February 21, 2020 at 8:43 PM.

By: David Estrella

[vickie-believe]

Soooo. Yeah. Ahem. This might be a long post but I’m gonna just put a read more after a point.

I redesigned an OC from last year. And this is a major change (I have her old design in one of my art dumps). And it isn’t just that, I did more for her in both writing and character development. I also have more art stuff I did on her past self but gonna put that as a separate post.

Anyhow, this is Mad Jack, the Wild Dog. My Dying Light 30-year-old-plus crazy  OC with a sorta like Chloe Frazer, Rachel from Animorphs and Junkrat mash personality, I created for my fanfic, The Descent.

And you can see a year between different styles, levels of art and all that. So I wanna say that no matter how many years, you’ll get even better. You’ll learn new tricks and techniques, new things every day by keeping at your passion. You’ll get better. Any form you did whether simple, stick-man, anything is still a good art because you’re doing it - you’re not stopping because someone says it’s bad, you’re doing it for yourself. And you keep going and seeing the improvements that prove those people, you can create something awesome. 

So keep drawing. There’s absolutely no stopping, not even for me. I’m still going to improve myself. 

Now then, more on the character. Boring stuff. X’D

SOOOO, the story behind this character creation. I really enjoy Dying Light and I wish the best and all for Techland on their release with Dying Light 2 (and PLEASE GOD BRING THE BROTHER TWINS BACK so that my friend can go “shiiiiit!” X’D I really mean it! He hates them! AHAHAHAHA) and the Following. It was thanks to the ending that got me to start a writing about what happens to Kyle Crane days after the ending. Which means he becomes a sentient zombie in the fic.

What got me into making Mad Jack was two things: one is I realized Crane would need a middleman because you know, he would kill people uncontrollably (and that person needs to be mad enough to even stick with infected Crane) and two, three characters in Dying Light got me thinking of Jack as a common person between them. 

So yeah. Fic’s summary is Crane’s back, he meets an ex-kickboxer from the Outskirts of Harran in the middle of a city named Scanderoon and he learns she and a group called the Ravs are trying to find out why the virus recently spiked up with new mutations, affecting the zombies and the survivors, in hopes that the virus isn’t adapting too fast for a cure to beat it. 

Now the read-more cuz I don’t want you ppl seeing me as a rambling idiot.

Alright. Let’s get to the meat. So for one, when I first thought of the fic, I was thinking Crane is, of course, the main protagonist but with a few elements: he’s kinda like the Mother (sorta, I need to make his character design now lol) but as a Night Hunter sort and would still be himself. His character development would be on the verge of struggle and insanity between himself and his other self. So I couldn’t see himself being able to fully control himself without someone helping him, regardless how strong his willpower is after going through everything. So he needed someone to keep him in his grips. Jack in my fic is sorta of a red-herring first protagonist but is actually a  deuteragonist.

There’s also another point that I wanted to tackle his struggles from the main game, that meeting someone who knew the people he met and learning they’re gone would be the ultimate, powerful and bittersweet development for him. Which is about the three persons I said earlier that is what I based around for Jack.

So the three people were Harris Brecken, Jade and Rahim Aldemir. When I first played the game, I always found it strange how protective Brecken was to both of them which made me wonder if they had a backstory before the outbreak. Sure, many could say, Rahim was one of Brecken’s students or Rais was after the Scorpion before Crane came into the picture. A lot of theories anyone of us could think of. I still felt like there was someone in their lives that crossed paths. The first person I went brainstorming more on was Jade and her kickboxing career.

I made Jack, aka Mad Jack, as Jade’s previous rival and opponent for the last martial arts championship. The Scorpion versus the Wild Dog. The professional 3-year world champion versus the rising star until Jade won and Jack retired. And since their first meeting, the two kids have been friends with her with Jack being that kinda guardian looking out for them. I made Harris be, surprisingly, Jack as that unwanted cousin who you both love and hate a lot. Cough. But with whatever happened to all of them in the past gave me a better structure of why Brecken would care more about the kids if they knew someone who cared about them. Not directly but enough that Brecken wouldn’t tell his cousin they’re gone.

An incident did also cause a bit of friction from Jade’s victory, and that’s something I’ll reveal in my fic later on. And it also did change Jack a lot. The current Jack is more ballistic, unhinged, daring, hungry for a fight and uh...kinda scary the more I describe her now that I think of it. She’s still a good person (sorta) who helps those in need because she’s used to it before, being a legend that inspired people in the past. I even had a small idea that she sings a lullaby to calm the Screamers or infected children before killing them. She thinks of wild ideas that don’t often go the way she wants, a trait Rahim picked up, which is what made him decide to blow up the nest. Go Wild or don’t, which is one thing why those two connected well in the past. Jack’s an unlikely character on the search for why the virus had a kickstarter and being Crane’s hired wingman. 

Moreover, it’s a slow trust building between these two. Jack’s philosophy is sorta kinda like Rais and Crane can see that in her. There are also secrets she has that will put that trust to the test but it won’t just be her but Crane testing that trust with his own sins.

What makes this fic so interesting to me the more I write isn’t just Crane’s constant regret that he has to work with this loony woman in a desperate hope of finding that cure and the funny banter development between a sane zombie and a crazy human but the fact Crane’s past will catch up to him and Jack will learn about Jade and Rahim’s fates. And it’s not just Jack herself but others he’ll learn had some connection to someone in Harran. And that moment he can’t keep the lies in anymore and has to tell Jack the truth, that will be something powerful and heartbreaking - that he met a person who knew them and has to give the grim news they’re gone. Because no one had told Jack yet. What’s more, this will reflect on Jack too - that her influence on the two kids was what got them killed like her way of thinking in going big for Rahim and her philosophy in kickboxing got Jade to sacrifice herself.

From there, well, there’s more I have up my sleeve. And hopefully not break these two in the process. :Y

I made Jack for a long of reasons but the one main thing is, I realized after everything Crane’s gone, he really needed someone, an emotional pillar of support for sure. And he hasn’t had that the entire time in Dying Light or the Following - everyone sought him as a hero and never questioned it. Which...I kinda thought was a little sad. So yeah, I made Mad Jack - someone who had fallen from grace and accepted her current self, be that dog of Harran who fully takes in the fact the whole world has gone to hell and has pulled off the chains. Jack’s history, which some parts I won’t go into details, sorta reflects his that she had done a lot and sacrificed a lot before and during the outbreak came. And with Crane being stuck as a monster for good with moments of losing his shit, he’d need support a lot more than ever. The same goes for Jack with her own problems to deal with that Crane decides to help her like he has always done for people in the main game. And how this will all end, I dunno. I know exactly what might be a fitting end for Jack but how all of this will end, that’s something I’m going to have to see towards the end and how Crane would rise back from his descent thanks to Jack. Whether good or bad.

And there you go, Mad Jack. She really had a huge development based on so many people, as well as Crane himself. And I really enjoy pushing that development further into her, to see how far her trials go on her moral and psyche. 

uh....hope you get it. Probably a bore though. :Y I’m open to anything btw if you think it’s silly or bad. Been editing a lot in this character, others and my writing.

If people are interested, there’s already 15 chps, 1 small intermission chp and the next one is being worked on. Here’s the fic.

I feel like a dork...Im gonna draw other DL fanart. Maybe like banter between the Wild Dog and Scorpion in the past or something...

[dotzines]

Artist spotlight: Elleth!

✿ Ko-fi ✿ Twitter

Header source: [X]  

Introduce yourself Hi! I'm Elleth, I'm a 21 year old a self taught artist just about to graduate as a Psychologist. I currently live between Argentina and Spain but I've been moving between countries and continents my whole life, so I can't really say with confidence that I'm from anywhere.I love most fantasy themes and I'm a BIG LoTR and Anime nerd! I'm a sucker for story-centered games, some of my favorites are Shadow of The Colossus, The Last Guardian, Witcher III, TES, RDR2 and Soma. I'm currently into BNHA and She Ra cuz I love me some heroes!  When did you start drawing? Are you a digital or traditional artist? I've been drawing since I could hold a crayon (yes, crayons y'all) but I only started taking it seriously and actually puttinf effort into it some months ago or so. I'm a mainly digital artist, tho I still start all my sketches traditionally. Do you use any traditional mediums? If so, which are your favorites? Yeah, I mostly use pencils and watercolors. Watercolors are my absolute favorites, I love how dynamic and calming they are ^^

image source: [X]   Why do you prefer traditional over digital? (or viceversa) Well, actually I dont have a strong preference, I want to improve my digital art and it's easier for me to keep a consistent production of art that way (art supplies are kinda expensive where I live so drawing digitally is way cheaper once you do the tablet investment) Also I love how clean my pieces can be when I do them digitally. I mostly do traditional as a way of self care now, it calms me What do you think is the most challenging part about being a traditional/digital artist? Practicing and actually spending the time to learn how the software works and it's functions What inspires your pieces? Anything, from shows or games I like to nature or just things I find funny

image source: [X]   Explain your "everyday" drawing process I mostly have an idea in the middle of psychology class (cuz I'm a responsible student) I do a draft of it in my sketchbook and play with different ways of bringing that idea to life. When I end up with something I actually life I take a photo of the sketch and then, when I get home, I start tracing the sketch in my drawing tablet. There I tweak the design and any anatomy mistakes (which are a LOT cuz I don't know anatomy to save my life), from ther it's just the stardart: I do the lineart, base colors, do the background, then add light and shadows to the whole piece, add details and check for mistakes and voila! Art. Then I post it on Twitter and look at it only to notice a mistake, I take it down, correct the mistake and post it again only to notice ANOTHER mistake, and so the cycle goes on and on. Do you have an artist you admire (or more than one)?

I'm literally inspired by almost every artist I see! I try to learn from every art style and artist I see, I try to see where I can improve from seeing their work. I also tend to like artists from their personality more than their work, I love to see supporting and kind artists more than crazy good artists that treat others as their inferiors. Some artists that really inspire me are: @Kf1n3 @souratgar @Velinxi @kroovv @SHelmigh @Amaretta_ @cherriielle Is there an artwork you are most proud of? Why? I'm really proud of this WIP I'm currently working on: https://twitter.com/EllethsArt/status/1124055356445986818 But an actual finished artwork I'm insanely proud of is this one: https://twitter.com/EllethsArt/status/1119694506662797312

Do you listen to music (or tv shows/films/anything else) when drawing? Yeah! I watch BNHA or just Jacksepticeye or other gameplay vids (I told ya I'm a nerd), sometimes I put on a speedpaint or a stream of someone I like hearing, for music I mostly put on lofi or something that goes with the mood of the piece (I need that sweet inspiration!)

image source: [X]   What makes art interesting for you? All that it represents, art can be healing, it can be a way to deal with stuff we can't even speak about, it's in our very essence. You can see at someone's work and see their personality, what they like, their fears, it's like looking at someone's eyes. Ahhh I'm sounding really corny but I really think art is the window to the soul. What do you do when art block strikes? I just try to relax and doodle something I like or just stupid things (like trying to make cats out of splooshes of black ink or my OC's doing stupid things) If that doesn't work I just leave it be and do something I enjoy, watch a show that inspires me, go for a walk, writing things for future comics, etc. Usually fanart of things that currently inspire me gets me out of the artblock. If not I'll just stop and try and do something the next day, it usually gets a lil better each day, so it's just a baby steps situation. What’s the most valuable art advice you’ve ever received?

PRACTICE! And don't compare yourself to others, you're your own person and your art is as unique as you. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just needs to be yours.

[franeridart]

Do you care for any of the dekusquad?

I care for most if not all hero-related characters in bnha! But if with care you mean if any dekusquad member is between my favorite characters/if I care enough about any of them to draw them more than once every blue moon, then my Todoroki tag might tip you off, there lol

Anon said:Will you ever draw Bakukamikiri again? I rlly loved how you did them!!

Thank you!!! And I think I will, though I don’t have any project to do so in the near future, sorry!

Anon said:Soo KyouHaba day (6/16) is coming up and was wondering if you could do some seijoh next gen stuff. Yahaba is often forgot about a and Kyoutani isn’t really included in a lot of Aoba Johsai stuff. Feel free to not do anything just suggesting something

Aw sorry anon but I don’t have the time to do day-themed stuff right now! KyoHaba is currently the hq ship I’m most likely to draw for, though, since they’re the only ones I’m still reading fics for! So I don’t think any will come around 6/16, but I don’t exclude I might draw them anyway in the near future! :D

Anon said:Omg your taking part in a zine!! I’m so excited! And it’s a BakuSquad one too! Ik I’m definitely going to be buying it when pre-orders open up!

I’m taking part in TWO zines, actually!! Both the @takemyhandzine and the @sixthwheelzine !!!!! I’ll be making comics for both, and if you do decide to buy either I really hope you’ll like them!!!!

Anon said:whats a zine?

In general, a zine is an amatorially published magazine! Specifically tho here we’re talking about fanzines, so magazines put together and published by fans for other fans! The ones I’m taking part in are both about kiribaku, and will include both fanart (fancomics included) and fanfics! Depending on how much you wish to spend on it, you can also buy a bundle with fanmade merch too, and the Sixth Wheel zine is gonna have a pdf version too, in case you’d prefer to buy it like that! They’re super cool projects I’m insanely happy I got invited to take part in!!!!

Anon said:Your art style is so pretty and I love to see your amazing bnha drawing on my dash

There is literally no way I could ever stop being into d gray man ever and I’m also still following hq’s manga, yes! I dunno if and when I’ll draw for either fandom next, tho, sorry! ;^;

Anon said:Everytime you draw kiribaku I gain 1 life,,,,, tysm I love ur art SM ur such an inspiration,,,💖💖💖

Oh my g o d s thank you so much ;^;

Anon said:Your Kiridragon is the cutest, I love him and want Katsuki to protect him forever. Thank you for sharing that last story with us!!! (Ps. Can we expect more Kiridragon adventures in the future? *puppy eyes*)

Thank you for liking him!!!!!! And if you’re talking about the fantasy AU in general, I’ll 100% for sure draw more for it! If you’re talking about them as kids tho I can’t say for sure - I definitely want to, tho, right now!! ;^;

Anon said:As a suggestion, could you maybe do Kiri*Deku, whether it be romantic, platonic, or misinterpreted by Bakugou and he takes Kirishima because that’s his sunshine boy thank you very much, get your own

Aw anon sorry but krdk is…………. really not my thing, so I don’t take suggestions for it ;-; I might end up doodling them in the future anyway since I have in the past, but that’s only gonna be if I find an idea I really really really wanna draw, I’m sorry

Anon said:Just wanted to say that I love your art and I just went through a majority of your blog. But I noticed you used to draw erasermic but haven’t recently and I was wondering if you still ship it??? It’s okay if you don’t or if you just haven’t gotten the inspiration recently, I’m just curious. Anyways, keep doing what you do and being amazing

Thank youuuu!!!!! And I’ve actually always drawn erasermic super sporadically! They’re one of my main ships in the fandom honestly, but since they’re sorta hard to draw for me I rarely end up drawing them? I do still love them with all my heart tho! You can expect to see more of them in the future, for sure ;u;

Anon said:I came for my kiribaku fix (it HAD to be him I’m dying all over again) but. God ur art always blows me tf away ur so good and skilled and ur improvement in like… everything inspires me SO much so bless u and I hope u have a WONDERFUL day

I’m so glad I can inspire anyone, oh my g o o o o o o d ;O; thank you so so much!!!!

Anon said:Wow your dragon kiribaku art is so cute! Will there be a sequel!

Not for the immediately after, for now! Since Horikoshi is yet to give me the official design for Kiri’s mom //sob - but as I said up there I do want to draw more with them as kids in the fantasy AU, so maybe, yeah!!!

Anon said:I absolutely love EVERY SINGLE facial expression that Bakugou makes in your Fantasy Babies comic strip. He’s such an unapologetic little shit.

THANK YOU!!!!! I was mostly trying to convey the fact that he’s too young to think about the consequences of his actions before doing stuff like calling the rage of a dragon mom upon his city l m a o glad you liked him!!! :D

Anon said:The way you draw the baby bois has me weak 💖💕❤️💗💞💓💝 That baby dragon Kiri 💯💯💯💖💖💖😊😊😊

Thank you so muuuuuucccchhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:EYYYYY! Love your art, the newest comic made me laugh so hard that I almost chocked to death :D (Jk, I just couldn’t breathe normally) God bless youuuuuuuuuu

I’m SUPER HAPPY it made you laugh!!!!!! heck!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;^;

Anon said:You content makes my heart go doki doki doki doki doki

THANK!!!! YOU!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:the way you draw wings is so cool, i love it. your art is just amazing in ggeneral to be honest, like akjdjkhdlkdl

AAAAHHHHHHHH I’M HAPPY YOU LIKE THEM I have so much fun drawing them, honestly!!!

Anon said:I love the fact that mina and kiri are cannonically childhood friends (middle school counts as childhood right??) Like I love their friendship so much and they both deserve the world.

Real, they’re adorable and I wish Horikoshi would actually have them interact a bit more in the manga, since as for now their scenes together are pretty much non-existent aside from their backstory ;^;

Anon said:THEY ANIMATED IT!!! THE HAND GRAB!!! IT’S IN MOVING COLOUR!!!

HELL YES I DIED IT’S BEEN NEARLY A WEEK AND I’M STILL DYING WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TIME TO BE ALIVE

Anon said:You with your beautiful beautiful art and Chonideno with her beautiful beautiful writing about Kiri and Bakugou makes my heart so happy and warm and just… Thank you for existing and love Kiribaku! I don’t know, your art makes me so happy

Ohhhhhhhhhhh boy what an honor to be put at the same level as mag ;^; I love her and her writing so much, honestly !!!!!! thank you so so much for the compliment, anon!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Kirishima braiding his hair while he talks is both adorable and relatable. Thank you for that.

I’m!!!! mostly happy you caught it hahahaha thank you !!!!!!

Anon said:Hey. You seem insecure but your art is great. What kind of color scheme do you see for Hawks?

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I honestly don’t like thinking about stuff I think Hori will give me in canon soon enough? But out of instincts I mostly imagined him in shades of brown, I think - typical birds of prey and/or aviator colors, you know!

Anon said:I love ur drawings but i also love reading ur tag. They re so funny sometimes

lmao that’s good too!! As long as I can make people enjoy a couple of moments of their time I don’t really mind how I do it hahaha

Anon said:your art is beautiful anfndfnd

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello fran, just wanted to say i’ve been here for a long long time (since the h/q times :‘o) and today i was thinking about some of your old art and if you remember, you had a soulmates au for b/n/h/a that was super good and i really loved so i wanted to tell you!! You as an artist have such an impact on me and that au is my fave of yours!! ;0; have the nicest day ever!! -soulmates anon (4 future ref!!!)

OH MAN I’m so happy to hear you still remember that one?? It was such a fun experiment to play around with, I’m glad you liked it this much!!!! Thank you for telling me omg !!!!! ;^;

Anon said:Hi, so where did you go to watch Haikyuu (I’m assuming probably Crunchyroll but ya never know) and where might I find the dubbed version?

Aw anon sorry I don’t watch the dubbed version! Since I’m Italian, I don’t really have much use for the English dubs haha I’m pretty sure you can find it on kissanime, tho!

Anon said:could you briefly go through the process of making and completing one of your comics? I wanted to start some short bnha comics but idk where to start, thank you!

Sorry this took me an age to answer - I have answered this question a while back, I think it might be in my art tips tag! But to go through it fast, my process is something like

find a line or an exchange I want to deliver, or a topic I want discussed (usually happens randomly as I’m doing other things)

spend a million years just staring at a wall or at my ceiling or anything else as I build a whole scene in my mind to have the lines or topic take the form of an actual comic (might take two minutes, might take a month)

draw a rough sketch of the whole comic - I do this with all panels (and pages, when I separate a comic in pages) on the same canvas, so that I can look at the whole scene all together and get a good sense of the general flow of the storytelling. This process includes cutting panels, moving panels around, reshaping panels, trying different poses and angles for the same panels to find the right one, writing and deleting and re-writing lines till I’m sure the wording is what I’m going for*

line the panels - I mean the actual panels, the straight lines delimitating the panel, I line them all first and put them on a separate layer

line the people!! All the characters in every panel are lined in this stage

line the backgrounds! In case there are backgrounds and the comic is meant to stay in black and white, if not then color the backgrounds! (I always start coloring from the backgrounds cause they’re the boring parts and if I leave them for last I never do them ever #rip)

in case of black and white comics, we fill in flat, gray-scale colors at this point (or, as I’ve lately started doing, I only put down shadows and leave it at that). If it’s in colors, we color the people!

Write down the dialogue!! *at this point we change a lot of the dialogue again because enough time has passed since I sketched it that I changed my mind on everything, don’t be like me

you’re done!

All of it is done on one single canvas, unless it’s a comic with separate paneled pages in which case they’re all done on their own canvas but still drawn all together. That’s about it, hope it was at least a little bit useful!

Anon said:Hi! I just wanted to thank you for your art, especially your KiriBaku. I was exactly in the same situation than Bakugou in the post tagged “bakugou being blunt about his feelings” (except we are 2 girls) , so I used it to confess to her. She said yes! X3

OH MY GOD I’m so super happy to hear that!!!!! Congrats on your gf, anon!!!!!! *throws hearts at u*

[lilacskyent-blog]

Breakfast with Alex Wex

People have a million opinions and false facts about the digital world we live in today, and even more about social media. For a lot of people, they use platforms like Instagram and Twitter to follow celebrities, and some use it to bully celebrities. Most forget that that connection can also be used for good. We live in a world of amazing accessibility and, when used properly, could foster a wonderful connection between people. A prime example of this is the Will Smith Jump event that took the internet by storm, that all started with a video message. It’s incredible what can happen when you reach out to people. That was the main thought in my mind before sitting down with Alex Wex yesterday. Alex Wex is an amazing Twitch streamer, and until recently, was a producer for FBE and REACT on Youtube. As of this interview, Alex Wex has fostered a wonderful community through Twitch and Discord known as the Jank Squad, and recently broke his view count record at 210 viewers for his birthday stream, also hitting close to 600 subscribers. Given that I was in Atlanta and he was in LA we couldn’t actually meet for breakfast like I usually do so we had an amazing video chat instead.

So for starters, I just want to thank you for sitting down with me. I’ve been following your work since I first saw you on FBE and I think you’re an awesome dude so thanks. I wanna start at the very beginning because I’m really interested in your story. So, I know you went to high school in Atlanta, GA. What can you tell me about that?

I was actually born in Manhattan, my family moved to Atlanta around pre-K and I lived there up until I graduated from Riverwood High School. All my friends wanted to go to UGA or Georgia Tech but I was really interested in traveling and branching out, so I went to Ohio for college, and now I live in L.A. I made some truly amazing friends in Atlanta, and having this kind of east coast, south culture mixture has made life pretty interesting.

When did you know you wanted to work in entertainment, and what led to you becoming a producer?

When I was a kid, my family liked to record family videos, and I always wanted to see the recording. I had the eye for production pretty early. Once I started high school I got involved in performing, did Grease, The Wiz, and a few other school plays that got me interested in the performance aspect as well. In college, I majored in video production with a minor in film and sociology so I gained real knowledge of the art that happens behind the camera.

How does one go from school in Atlanta to working at FBE?

As I mentioned before I went to college at Ohio University, what got me was their video production department. I actually still work with the head of the department and speak to the alumni when they come here, advising them on some dos and don'ts. As a graduation gift, my Dad gave me an all expense paid trip to anywhere I wanted to go in the U.S for a few days and I chose L.A. So I was here, hanging out with my current roommate Johnny and we just decided to come out here permanently and live the dream. So I packed up my car and drove from Atlanta to LA and started looking for internships while working at Chipotle.I first joined FBE as an intern, then got hired as a PA and eventually was a writer for some of their scripted shows, and I worked my way up until I was offered the producer position. I loved producing because that involved every aspect of working behind the camera, from writing to filming to editing and seeing the baby from birth to fully grown. Being in front of the camera came back when FBE launched the community team and started streaming on Twitch.

Watching Alex grow on YouTube, putting reactors in hilarious challenges, eat crazy concoctions and brave some insane hot sauces that would make Sean Evans proud, his personality radiates through the screen. His passion for both sides of the camera is clear in the quality of every video he makes. However, taking part in one of his Twitch streams gives you an even more full experience. It’s like the difference between a teaser trailer and a full film.

Freddy or Jason?

Freddy is my favorite in Dead By Daylight but I love Jason, in fact, Friday the 13th was the first game I ever streamed. I’d have to say, Jason.

So, we were in high school in the baby years of YouTube, I mostly used it for music videos and anime, I think back then I only followed Phil Defranco and Timothy Delaghetto consistently. Back then, did you ever look at YouTube and think “this is going to revolutionize the world and turn traditional media on its head?”

Yeah, it’s changed everything. Almost every network has a YouTube channel now. Late night shows and things like SNL upload segments that get massive amounts of views. YouTube is still growing, testing out its premium service and channel enrollment and things like that, but it’s exciting to see where it’s going to end up.

It’s even crazier when you think about how much Twitch has already changed the game.

Definitely, I mean we’ve seen what happens when some of the top YouTube creators come over to Twitch and realize that it’s completely different from what they’re used to. It’s more like an improv radio show, you have to be on for two or three hours and avoid dead air, rather than being able to edit something together. It’s hard to be constantly entertaining when you're used to delivering a finished edit rather than a live audience. For example, Logan Paul had over 100,000 people in his first stream but after that, the numbers dropped just cause that’s not his world. Live Streaming is a constant conversation. It’s the opposite of YouTube.

I remember seeing YouTubers flood to Twitch after the adpocalypse and feeling like it made no sense. A lot of vloggers and creators who never expressed any interest in video games were all suddenly obsessed with Fortnite. However, when people like Alex Wex came to Twitch they brought genuine love of gaming, skill, and a great sense of community.

What insight can you give into the world of a producer? Especially on the internet, how to figure out what videos are gonna get views or go viral?

It’s a case by case basis depending on what you make. With Challenge Chalice, we made it during the high point of internet challenges and we had consistent challenges to make content with constantly, but this past year challenges have kinda quieted down so that got more difficult. We revisited and revised a lot of earlier challenges to make them more interesting, and that has to do with being present during every step of the process. You can’t slack off on anything, from script to editing. Being organized is key, and definitely take on the ideas and criticisms of the people working with you. Be flexible and open-minded. It’s not about balance, it’s about harmony.

3 Breakfast must haves?

Bacon

Grits

Belgian Waffles are incredible

Hack-n-slash? RPG? Or FPS? And why?

That’s complicated. Overwatch is one of my favorite games but it doesn’t play exactly like an FPS. For me, hack-n-slash for games like Dead Cells, Rogue Lights, I love games with massive replay value. I’m playing Diablo 3 on switch right now and I love it.

What games are best for streaming? Does the game you play matter?

A little, but it shouldn’t be everything. You want your audience to gravitate towards your personality. Never play something you don’t enjoy playing. I love Overwatch and it’s not one of the current hot stream games but I love playing it. Story games are complicated. If people miss parts of story mode games they tune it out cause they won’t know what’s going on. More than anything put your own spin on what you’re doing. For example, when I do Dead By Daylight I do stream vs chat where my chat helps the survivors escape if I’m playing the killer. In fact, chatting streams are starting to really blow up. It’s more about the person playing than the game they play.

What game has you hype for 2019?

That’s tough, but probably Kingdom Hearts 3. I’m excited for Smash Bros for my last game of 2018 too.

What led you to Twitch?

I’d seen some of it, but Tom had been doing it for 6 months and kept suggesting it until one day I finally did. I had a decent setup with an ultra-wide monitor and Tom’s old video capture device and I started streaming Dead by Daylight. We actually came into the name Jank Squad because of how janky the streams were in the beginning.

What led you to leave FBE and what are you working on now?

I wanted to focus more on my Twitch, and it was exhausting streaming at work on the days when I’m also streaming at home. I wanted to give my audience the most energy I could and be more involved with them as a community. I’m creating new ways to interact with my audience, more active in my Discord, and after working there for 5 years I felt stuck. There wasn’t any new learning experience and things felt a little sour and monotonous with the new direction things were going in. I’m actually getting a new camera and a green screen to upgrade the stream quality. I’d love to make partner with Twitch.

What’s the dream?

I take things to step by step. I’m definitely in a transition right now. I’m looking for another good full-time job at the moment. I’d love to be a full-time streamer but I’d also love to produce my own stuff and then stream after work. Streaming is probably one of the most consistent things I’ve ever done. Funny enough, that’s part of what got me into it cause Tom knew my leisure activity was video games, and streaming just takes that to another level. It definitely takes work, but the community you foster on this platform is unlike any other with the rating system and how everything is set up.

Alright so the zombie apocalypse is upon us and you can have 1 mortal character, one god tier video game character, and one Reactor in your survival squad, who you got?

Kratos from God of War 2 causes his chain blades would tear through everything, my regular would be Leon from Resident Evil 4 cause his aim is amazing and he’s used to zombies, and my Reactor would be Chelsea cause she knows so much about The Walking Dead. That’s my squad.

East Coast or West Coast

East, it’s where I was born and bred.

Top 10 songs or artists on your playlist right now?

Meek Mill- Intro with the amazing Phil Collins sample

Tyler the Creator’s Grinch is great for the holidays

The Cool-Lupe Fiasco

Chance The Rapper’s new songs

Paramore- Ain’t It Fun

You come from the same city I did with only a two year age difference, and you’re the first brown face I saw in relation to FBE and now you’re killing it on Twitch. Do you know how dope you are?

I appreciate that. I like to think I’m dope in some ways but I also do my best to keep it real, keep myself humble, and not letting the numbers get to my head. I hope everyone thinks they’re fucking awesome, cause they are. I have my good and bad days but I like to look at what has been built and keep grinding. Everyone is on a different time stream. I don’t want to rush things, I’m on my own path, and right now I just wanna build this community.

I for one, am excited to see what comes next from Alex Wex, including his stream later this week. You can find him @ItsMrWex

-Strawberry Smirk of Lilac Sky Entertainment

[nekojitachan]

You ever get something stuck in your head and you’re just like ‘WRITE NOW’?

Well, instead of finishing RP10, I did a thing.

Uhm, black magic, revenge, bad things happening to OCs (not graphic) and past bad things happening to other characters, but again, nothing graphic.

I call this ‘a boy and his demon meet cute’

*******

“-pass it around, Scott, don’t hog it!”

“I’m not! I barely got any off of it that time, you asshole! Stop complaining.”

“Both of you shut up before someone hears us.”

“Gawd, you’re such an old man, Ren. Live a little for once!”

“Yeah, come on, help me with this! It’ll be fun!”

Andrew had another swig of the cheap bourbon that Emilio had managed to get his hands on while the rest of the morons fussed over the book Gaby had brought along, even holding up their lighters to help illuminate the dark overhang on the roof of the hellhole currently serving as their home – McDougal Rehabilitation Center (or McD’s, as even the staff called it). A ‘lovely’ place with shitty plumbing and a/c and worse heating, but oh what a bonus that its make-shift security system always went on the fritz after a thunderstorm. Of course that didn’t do its poor wayward inhabitants much good when there was still the nasty outer parameter (Andrew suspected someone of having trust issues, imagine that), but on stormy nights when Jones was running their ward, the lazy bastard didn’t give much of a shit what they did as long as they were back in their beds by morning without any noticeable body harm or destruction of property.

So up to the roof they went, a chance to breathe some fresh (humid as fuck) air, to smoke and drink. Andrew wasn’t very sociable (at all), but he knew how to bypass the lock on the door and that way he got to keep an eye on the worst of the troublemakers (keep them in front of him, he told himself) while gaining access to said smoke and drink.

Though sometimes he wondered if it was worth it, having to listen to such inanity while he kept ‘watch’, supposedly for any staff showing up, as far as his fellow inmates were concerned.

“No, no, it’s supposed to work!” Gaby insisted, her voice the squeaky half-laugh which indicated she’d had a little too much of Tim’s pot. “I mixed a few things together, stuff I’ve seen and-“

“You’re just gonna make it rain again or something,” Cyn teased. “Or turn Ren into a frog!”

“It’ll be an improvement,” Emilio muttered, only to giggle (Gaby wasn’t the only one affected by the pot) when Ren shoved him a good foot over.

“Lemme concentrate,” Gaby complained as she sprinkled something on the roof (it looked as if she’d grabbed a couple of bottles of glitter from the art room), her brow furrowed and bleached blonde hair twisted into a bun to keep it falling onto the rough surface of the roof. “Uhm, we need some blood. Anyone have a – well, something sharp?”

McD didn’t allow them any weapons (no fun, this place), but they all learned to improvise. Bottle of bourbon held in his hand, Andrew pushed away from the wall near the door to watch Cyn hand Gaby what looked to be a piece of glass wrapped on one end so it could be held, which Gaby used to cut the tip of her left index finger – cut a little too deep, from the way she started swearing.

Meanwhile, Tim, always an asshole, took to laughing as he waved his hand around the glittery symbols. “Oooh, bowels of hell, hear our pleas and send us a servant to do our bidding!” He laughed some more, that time Emilio and Ren joining in as well.

“Not funny,” Cyn told them while Gaby complained about them ruining her spell.

“I don’t know, it worked a little.”

Andrew spun around to face the far end of the roof, where the strange voice had come from – sardonic and without a noticeable accent. There was something dark within the shadows, a human-like shape and two brilliant blue spheres that might be eyes around the same height as Andrew’s, perhaps a little higher. “But it’s not for rain and it’s definitely not for good luck.”

As the stranger spoke, Scott and Tim went charging toward him (it sounded like a ‘him’, like someone around their own age, though Andrew hadn’t heard that voice before), only to disappear into the shadows. There was the sound of something tearing followed by screams, screams which steadily became fainter and then there was the terrible noise of something meaty impacting the ground below.

Andrew threw the bottle off to the side as a distraction, but he only made two steps before there were more screams behind him; he turned to see that the glittery circle had become brilliant, multicolored flames and everyone around it – Gaby, Cyn, Ren and Emilio – were quickly consumed by it. Torn between shock and rage, he turned back to the shadow figure to find it standing in front of him, and gasped despite himself.

The figure was about his height but thinner, slighter, and was covered with scarred, burnt flesh, with remnants of charred clothes and singed dark hair. Between him being able to walk around in such a condition and those eyes, those balefire blue eyes, Andrew realized that it wasn’t human, wasn’t mortal. Yet he still struggled to get free, to lash out, to refuse to go down quietly, which only prompted an amused chuckle as he was grasped by the neck by a too-hot hand and lifted up into the air.

Long, narrow fingers choked off his air as the creature grinned, ruined lips pulling back to reveal sharp white teeth. “I know you. Oh yes I do, I know you. You were there that night, you sold us out.”

What was it talking about?

“I am going to enjoy this,” the creature continued as its fingers dug further into Andrew’s throat. “I am-“ It paused for a moment. “Huh.”

“Nah… nah….��� Andrew choked out as he clawed at the arm holding him up, as he tried to kick at the body in front of him – seventeen years of twisted bastards and Drake and everything, only to go out like this? Not happening.

The creature let him go as if repulsed by him, yet didn’t back away. “’Nah’ what?” it asked in a curious tone, its head cocked to the side in an awful parody of a living person.

Coughing for about a minute while he looked around for a weapon (he just had to throw the bottle so far away, didn’t he?), Andrew shook his head. “Not… not him, whoever. Go the fuck away, freak.”

That prompted a laugh from the creature which sent a chill down Andrew’s back reminiscent of trickles of icy water. “You’re actually speaking the truth, aren’t you?” It leaned down, and gone were the thick lumpy scars from the burns, replaced by smooth skin tanned from sun exposure and dusted by freckles, the hair regrown and bright red. The creature was now a kid a little younger than Andrew with sharp, too attractive features and a wicked scythe of a smile and still those balefire eyes. “Nothing?”

“Only a desire to kill you,” Andrew confessed.

That smile grew even sharper. “Much too late, my snarly doppelganger. Let me tell you a little story – oh, we’ll skip along a good bit, no point in boring you, but the heart of it was that me and my mother were trying to avoid some very, very bad people.” The creature’s eyes flared even brighter for a moment and there was a crack of lightning in the sky as if for dramatic effect. “We met with a contact to get papers we needed to keep running, but apparently, he had a side business going on selling drugs and one of his regulars caught sight of us. A regular who had a son. A son who looks just like you.”

Andrew stared at the creature as those words sunk in, as he attempted to make sense of them. “This is all an insane delusion, something was in the alcohol.”

“Oh no, you’re not that lucky,” the creature told him. “Your little friend dotted a line she should have zagged and zigged a symbol she should have dotted, and she had some nice rich blood there, yes? Add on to it some idiot making an offer he shouldn’t, and here I am. I had wondered what allowed me to slip free, but now I know.” As it talked, Andrew heard voices down below, voices raised first in anger and then in alarm.

It reached out to flick him on the forehead to regain his attention, and for some reason, he couldn’t move to punch it. “Blood of my traitor, how nice. It looks like I finally get revenge.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Andrew gritted out as he fought to move, angered by the injustice of it all even though he should be used to Fate fucking him over by then.

“You’re the exact same blood as the son of the woman who sold out my mother, who led to me being condemned to hell,” the creature told him, eyes flaring so bright that Andrew had to close his eyes. “Their guilt is your guilt.”

Despite himself, a weak chuckle escaped Andrew; didn’t it figure that he found out that he had a brother (a twin, possibly, from what the damn creature insinuated), found out something about his mother, and it was when some fucking demon from hell arrived to kill him? “Just get it over with, you bastard.”

“I will.” The creature was quiet for a second, and then Andrew felt something slam into his chest, felt a sharp pain and then the world spun around him and-

He opened his eyes to find them standing in a park somewhere. He glanced around at the empty swing sets and then the creature standing next to him, now dressed in baggy jeans and an overlarge plain light blue sweatshirt. “This is hell?”

The creature snorted as he began to walk away, and for some damn reason Andrew was compelled to follow, to not let him get too far away. “You have very low standards.”

That wasn’t cryptic, was it? Andrew waited until they reached the street before speaking again, which annoyed the hell (irony much) out of him. “I’m alive?”

“So it seems?” The creature stopped to look at him. “Complaints? Not that I normally give a damn about requests, but I can always make an exception for you,” he said with a feral grin as he held up a suddenly clawed right hand.

Andrew gave him the finger in return. “Why?”

“Ah, a question that makes sense.” The creature nodded in what seemed to be approval. “Because it appears that you’re my anchor here now that I’m free, and I’ve many things to do - people to kill, a criminal empire or two to tear down.” It flapped its right hand about in the air a couple of times. “The usual.” It cocked its head to the side as it stared at Andrew. “Did you want to stay back there?”

Andrew considered all of that. “Not particularly. Are my mother and brother part of those ‘people to kill’?”

The creature’s smile didn’t waver. “Your mother, yes. That’s non-negotiable.”

That was taken into consideration with the knowledge that she’d betrayed whatever the creature had been before along with gave up Andrew and dragged his brother into a situation like the creature had described. “Because she betrayed you.”

The smile slipped away to be replaced by something utterly inhuman despite the fact that the creature still wore its ‘pretty’ face. “Because she betrayed my mother and me. She also cost Theo his life, all for a damn fix.”

All right. “What do I call you?” Somehow, Andrew didn’t think ‘creature’ would go down well with other people.

He felt some sort of satisfaction upon seeing the confusion and uncertainty at the question. “Uhm… Neil,” the demon (was it?) told him. “And you? Other than Minyard?”

Andrew nodded once as he tried not to be affected upon hearing what he assumed was his ‘real’ last name. “Andrew.” Oh yes, he was looking forward to finding the woman who’d given birth to him, too.

‘Neil’ nodded in return. “Okay, so if you’re not going to freak out on me,” he waited for Andrew’s response and smiled, the expression almost genuine at Andrew’s narrowed look, “then let’s get started.”

*******

I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.... *whimpers*

Ok, back to Raven’s Partner.

[x-rkyerim]

                          ⟨   ✰ starbright casting ‘17 !   ⟩                                                                      ⤷  the interview.

for the past half-hour that she had been seated there, yerim’s face wouldn’t relent the smile that it held. it wasn’t that she was insanely happy or super excited ( which no doubt, she was ), but instead, the smiling was due to the fact that the sixteen year-old was tremendously apprehensive about what was to come. to those around her, her nervous habit of beaming might have appeared as insanity, but yerim didn’t mind the looks at all; she was focused on other things.

that day, she wore an outfit of a black sweater and blue jeans matched with white sneakers and a neat ponytail— the product of about forty minutes on just worrying about what to wear. it was an important day after all.

as the recent news of the upcoming starbright casting auditions floated around her high school, yerim decided to involve herself in all the excitement. sure, she wasn’t as skilled as others who aimed to make themselves known to entertainment companies, but she could still take a chance. who knows, maybe she’ll succeed and even if she doesn’t, yerim knows that it just might not have been her time. it would motivate her to work harder for the next opportunity. she’s nervous but in any outcome, she is still optimistic for the future.

at the sound of her name being called, yerim’s head snaps toward the direction where it came from and she stands up immediately. with a smile clear on her face, she approaches the speaker who proceeds to lead her into a different room filled with a camera, multiple lights, and people. her heart begins to race and she could almost hear the rhythmic thump that it made in her chest. don’t be nervous, she continues to remind herself, it’s just an interview.

a smile still prominent atop her features, yerim politely greets those in the room before situating herself on the chair at the focus of the room. as a man behind the camera began to count down from five, yerim clenches her fist, digging painful holes into soft skin of her palm— an attempt to cease the smiling that made her look idiotic. it worked, but only for a second  as the camera begins to record, and she is once again smiling.

“hello! my name is choi yerim, i am sixteen years old, and i am from seoul, south korea!”

her voice matched the bright expression that covered her face, the corners of her lips almost having reached her ears and her eyes squinted as her cheekbones rose. she takes small, concealed breaths to calm herself and to relax her tense shoulders. she succeeds, and by the last word of her introduction, yerim appears to be as comfortable as she could.

                                                          ❝ why do you want to become an idol? ❞ 

why did she? it wasn’t the most ideal career path, as well as she was young and could be focused on other things, but here she was. to be honest, yerim didn’t know why the idea infatuated her so much compared to other things, it just felt right.

she pauses for a brief moment, pondering on how to word her thoughts, before officially making her response: “well, it’s just my dream. i-i don’t really know what it is exactly, but the whole prospect of becoming an idol with a busy schedule and having the opportunity to showcase my talents on a stage— it attracts me. as well, i believe that i have talent and natural capabilities to become one, so i feel that it is meant to be.”

                                            ❝ was there any artist in the industry who inspired you? ❞   

as soon as the question was finished, yerim immediately begins to nod her head. her small smile widens into something bigger and a soft chuckle escapes her lips. “yes, yes! there are a couple of artists that i have in mind whom were partly involved in influencing my decision for the future.”

she pauses again, this time humming for a moment as she looks away from the interviewer, gathering her thoughts and deciding on who to mention. “oh, it was definitely chichi and sunny hill, as well as ariana grande. they all honestly inspired me by never giving up on their dream and also by remaining optimistic even when things didn’t look good. i aim to have that sort of perseverance.” she nods once more.

                                            ❝ on your application, you’ve only listed your father as a familial relation. why is that? ❞

her bright facial expression begins to fade and she lets out a sigh, running her tongue over her bottom lip as she prepared herself to reveal the intimate details of her family to only mere strangers. she didn’t mind the world knowing about the nonexistent relationship she currently had with the woman who birthed her, but she did wonder what they would think of her.

“it is just my dad and me, actually. um, when i was just a baby, my mother left my father and me without a farewell or anything. i never got to meet her. my dad sacrificed so much because of her selfishness and i hated her for that, but, uh, as of now, i feel totally indifferent about her. like, i honestly could care less if she was here or not; i mean, my dad and i have done just fine without her.”

                                     ❝ for the skills you’ve listed, how have you worked on them? ❞   

her previous half smile returns as the subject is changed and she tilts her head, lifting her hands as she gestures through her curt response. “i currently attend seoul’s school of performing arts, where i am able enrich my learning in the arts and where i also work hard on improving myself and my talents. i also take vocal lessons separately with a private instructor.”

she nods her head, continuing to speak. “i work hard to improve myself and my skills, so that one day, someone can see my effort and allow me to train for them.”

                                 ❝ if you didn’t want to be an idol, what would you want to be? ❞   

yerim’s optimism wasn’t perfect, and there were times where she doubted herself and her dreams. at times like this, the high schooler would make herself backup plans where she turned her other aspirations into careers, take, for example, her love of service.

“i really, really love to help other people so i’d probably pursue something in the line of serving other people. i’ve thought about maybe becoming a nurse or a special needs teacher— anything that ables me to help people on the daily.” her smile widens again, white teeth clearly visible between her parted lips as her cheekbones rise, before her facial features relax after a short moment. 

                               ❝ finally yerim, what sets you apart from all the others? how are you different? ❞ 

the teenager pauses, not only thinking of how to word her words but also on what the question was asking. how was she different? to the interviewers and to the companies, she may have seemed like all the rest: a girl with big dreams, working hard to achieve it. she was pretty, but she wasn’t necessarily drop-dead gorgeous. she could carry a tune and follow a dance routine, but was neither an amazing vocalist or an expert dancer. so how was she different?

“compared to all the others, i guess i’m pretty average in terms of talent. i’m sure that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s my honesty. i can do a range of things, but i’m not particularly excellent at just one thing. but i feel, what makes me, me, is the fact that i remain positive no matter what. when things aren’t looking great, i keep my head up and work a little harder. i’m the sanguine light to others too. there is no limit to my optimism. none at all.”

on that note, the interviewer wraps up the interview and thanks the high schooler for coming. the camera is shut off and yerim is escorted out by the same person who escorted her in. no doubt a smile embraced her, but this time it wasn’t out of nerves; she was happy. yerim felt she did well and hopefully, the casting agents think so too.

[ebenvt]

Introduction to Bacon & the Art of Living

The quest to understand how great bacon is made takes me around the world and through epic adventures. I tell the story by changing the setting from the 2000s to late 1800 when much of the technology behind bacon curing was unraveled. I weave into the mix beautiful stories of Cape Town and use mostly my family as the other characters besides me and Oscar and Uncle Jeppe from Denmark, a good friend and someone to whom I owe much gratitude! A man who knows bacon! Most other characters have a real basis in history and I describe actual events and personal experiences set in a different historical context.

The cast I use to mould the story into is letters I wrote home during my travels.

The Danish Cooperatives and Saltpeter

Copenhagen, March 1891

My dear Minette,

It is Sunday afternoon.  I slept most of the morning.  I am excited and refreshed.  I know you are here in spirit. Life has turned out much more insanely exciting than I could ever have hoped for. The entire thing is a grand adventure of discovery.  I could never dream that trying to unlock the secrets of bacon would be as insanely exciting as it all turned out to be.  Hopefully, you will receive the letter I wrote yesterday before you get this one.  I will hold on to it and post it next Friday.

I have been wondering about meat curing for as long as I can remember.  Even as a child I tried to imagine how people discovered that dry meat lasts longer.  Initially, I believe that people ate meat raw or fermented.  Animal carcasses that are left outside will start to ferment.  Fermentation breaks the tough muscles down and the first priority of humans must have been to find ways to get tough game meat soft.  Leaving the carcass then outside or in water to protect it from preditors would have been a natural way of softening the meat.  Later, boiling the meat and roasting it over fire became other ways to soften meat or pulverizing it with a stick or a rock.

I imagine that as people soon discovered that dry meat lasts long and the wonderful benefits of salt.  Food was initially only seen as something to consume in order to fuel our bodies.  As humans developed, we started changing food into an art form.  The king or leader and people with means could now demand the best meat.  We learned that meat, like any other food, can be prepared in many different ways to improve the taste and food changed into art.  These different techniques of “softening” meat were becoming art in themselves and Sharma, medicine men and women and housewives became the custodians of this new technology.

When we make bacon, we use a technique called curing.  Cured meat is identified by three things.  The salt and saltpeter change the colour of the meat.  When an animal is killed, the meat blooms a beautiful red colour.  If you do not rub it with saltpeter, it changes to a dull brown colour.  If you, however, rub it with a mixture of salt and saltpeter, it changes the colour to a pinkish-reddish colour.  Related to the science of making good bacon, colour is the first key.

The second thing that saltpeter does is to impart a unique cured flavour to the meat.  The third characteristic of cured meat is taste.  The last one is longevity.  Cured meat lasts long outside a refrigerator and in Europe is the staple food in many countries as far as meat is concerned.

I know saltpeter is important because it imparts all three characteristics to bacon.  Let me rather say it like this.  Using Saltpeter is not the only guarantee for good bacon, but leaving it out of the salt-rub, you will never get the right colour, taste or longevity.  You have the option of drying the meat without saltpeter in which case it will also last longer, but the meat will be dry and it will not have the characteristic taste of cured meat.

In South Africa, the old Dutch farmers fused their knowledge of drying meat in the chimnies in Holland and the North European practice of using vinegar in their hams with the indigenous practice of hanging meat out in the sun and wind to dry.  I have found this to be an ancient practice among all the peoples of southern Africa that I met in my travels.

The Dutch farmers add coriander and black pepper with salt to the vinegar to create what they call biltong.  The coriander and black pepper were initially added to mask any off-flavours in case the meat did not dry quick enough and some spoiling of meat has set in. This is a good example where drying works well to preserve meat with or without saltpeter.  Saltpeter can only be left out of the recipe if vinegar is used and lots of salt.

I have always known that the secret of bacon is in saltpeter, but saltpeter is not everything that goes into the making of the best bacon on earth.  So, my quest to understand bacon starts with saltpeter.  What is it and why does it have the power to give longevity to meat, change the colour back to the colour of freshly slaughtered meat why does it give this unique taste?  These are the questions I knew I had to answer first.

Besides understanding saltpeter, our goal in Cape Town is to set up a factory and not merely making bacon for home use.  Scale changes everything.  This is a lesson I learned from very early on.  On my grandfathers’ farm, I have seen how easy it is to make the best bacon on earth if we make it for our family only.  When my dad’s bacon became famous and Dawid de Villiers Graaff placed an order with us, we made five-time more we normally do.  It was a disaster!  Everything went wrong.  We had more workers to help, but they were not trained.  We could not keep the meat cool and in the end, we had to feed most of the meat to our dogs.  Scale is difficult and the importance of the right structure of a bacon factory is something that we can not under-estimate.  Right from the word go, I came face to face with lessons pertaining to structure and ingredients and the first ingredient to look at was saltpeter!

The Spirit of the Danes

The morning was crisp and interesting.  Andreas’ dad is an impressive man.  He is very intelligent with an amazing knowledge of many things.  He gave me a lot of perspective on what Jeppe told me on Friday.  For example, how did it come about that a man of Jeppes age was exposed to learning new butchering and curing techniques?  Why was there in Denmark such a focus on continued education that people showed up for lessons by the Irish, in sufficient numbers to make a proper transfer of skills possible.  How did the most current thing about the structure of a bacon plant fit so nicely into the Danish culture?  How were the Danish people inspired to take up a new way of doing things?

It often takes a prophet to change long-held perceptions; a visionary to change entrenched positions!  An inspirational man who draws his own strength from the Divine to lift peoples gaze from their own depressed positions and onto better things.  To instill hope.  These are however not all that is needed because these are often also the qualities of an imposter and someone who destroys.  What is needed are all these qualities with a simple and effective plan to improve things.  A person who can lead people to a better and more profitable future.

Andreas’ dad told me about just such a man.  In many ways, he is the father of the agricultural miracle of Denmark.  It may sound like a boring report on men and women who lived very long ago, but the truth is that it is an inspirational story about men and women with their backs against the wall.  Who triumphed against the odds.  The man at the center of the story is N. F. S. Grundtvig.

Denmark was an impoverished nation.  They lost Schleswig-Holstein to Germany.  The soil of their lands was depleted and yielding fewer crops with every harvest.  In all of Europe, the Danish soil seemed to be the poorest.   The conditions in 1864 were dire and farmers had little hope competing with Russia and America with their crops.  They were not making money.  Apart from little diversified agriculture, there was very little money in the country.  Farmers identified dairy farming as a lucrative diversification of their economy, but they lacked the money to make their plans a reality.  The depleted soil on the farms offered little collateral for lenders to advance money against.

I wish so much that I would get every South African to hear their message.  We are a nation of faith and still, we complain as if we have no hope.  What we need in South Africa is a prophet, a visionary and a very good plan!  The plan will in all likelihood have to be built on very practical education!  It is exactly for this reason that I am here!  I need to be very clear on the plan!  To my great amazement, the bedrock of the structure of the Danish bacon factory is in the first place not on the mechanics of doing it one way as opposed to another way.  The basis of their entire system rests on an almost religious belief in the power of cooperation and education!

Grundtvig was a churchman who lived between 1783 and 1872 and was described by some as the Apostle to Denmark.  He taught that Danish people must love their own country above all, more than any other real estate on earth.  He believed that Danes must love God and trust each other; their own skill and ability to solve problems; that success will come through cooperation.  The principal way to achieve this was through education and what he called the “cultivation of the people.”  This was distilled through his concept of high school which is completely different from high school in the rest of the world.

N. F. S. Grundtvig’s high schools were initially attended by people from the age of 18 to 60 or even older and everyone in between.  Every farmer’s adult son and daughter, every farmer himself or his wife, considered it a loss not to attend High School for at least one term.  The poor and the rich paid the same small fees and lectures covered an array of interesting subjects.  Religion and nationalism were part of the course, but it never dominated the other subjects.  Men and women looked forward to high school in the same way as Americans looked forward to a trip to Europe.  What he achieved is that even more than the information that was imparted, a general method of teamwork was created which would become the basis for cooperative farming and production.  Later, men and women aged between 16 and 35 mostly attended these high schools.  Young men attended in the winter and young ladies, in the summer.  Experimental agricultural farms were set up around the schools.  The teaching was not done from textbooks, but from practice.

Cooperation

His teachings against individualism slowly but surely sowed the seeds which germinated into mutual trust and a belief that by doing things together, more can be achieved.  Directly as a result of this, in 1881/ 1882 the first cooperative dairy farm was established in Jutland.  The Danes realised that to be successful, they must find ways for their fields to yield better crops and they must develop better ways to use their crops, once harvested.  Better than selling it at depressed margins on the open market in competition with the Russians and the Americans would be to utilise it to produce commodities.  On par with a relentless focus on scientific farming practices was unprecedented cooperation.  The middle man had to eliminate.  The farmer and the salesman joined forces and discovered that by cooperating they always had “something to go on,” a phrase which became an example of the new approach.

The cooperatives were set up where every member had equal rights.  Each member of the dairy cooperative had one vote and his milk was collected every morning and the cooperative agents returned the skimmed milk.  The cows, therefore, produced butter and feed for the pigs.  Money is loaned from the bank. Each member made himself responsible for repaying the loan in accordance with the number of cows he had.  Every seven days, the members received 25% of the value of the milk they delivered to the cooperative.  Apart from selling the milk to the cooperative, the member was entitled to his shares of the profit on the sale of the produce.  The cooperative kept 25% from which running expenses were paid and the loan was repaid.

There is another reason, Andreas’ dad tells me, why the Danish system works so well.  Not only did they manage themselves, but they also elected farmers to positions of power in government.  It was not only, like the Americans, for the people, by the people, but the Danes took it one step further.  The need and most pressing priority was their agriculture and so the cooperatives elected representatives for the farmers, by the farmers to the government.  These men and women abhor profiteering so that the priority is the benefit of the many.  This hatred for large trusts and monopolies goes back to the old feudal system which was prevalent in Europe.  Peasants did not own land, but in Denmark, this changed and the peasants were allowed to own their own farms.  This gave them every stimulus and motivation to improve the small farms.  It is said that 90% of all farmland in Denmark is owned by small scale farmers.  The first revolution in Danish agriculture was ownership.

The new farm owners started protesting against rulership and land aristocracy.  They sought more political power and proper representation.  They worked out a constructive plan to break up the remaining large feudal farms and to distribute it among sons and daughters of the workers.  Farm ownership, a systematic and thorough education system and the cooperative model for farming and production all work together.  The one feeding the other and strengthening the overall agricultural experiment.  In large part, the middle man was eliminated and the few matters run by the state are done for the benefit of the farmers and not for the government to make a profit.  A good example is the railways.  Still, the Danish farmer is not a socialist.  They simply believe in cooperation who thinks in terms of self-help and are not reliant on the state for help.

As Andreas’ dad spoke, I again wished I could get him to South Africa to come and tell them how it was done in Denmark.  I know that cooperation runs much deeper than simply pooling resources.  The role of education and private ownership was the basis of the Danish miracle and I see no reason why the exact same model cant work in South Africa.  The one reason I see is how deeply distrust runs between the different peoples who call South Africa their home.

Skimmed Milk to Pork to Bacon

In Denmark, it was probably the need to find a use for the skimmed milk that gave the farmers the idea of raising pigs in the same way that the need to feed cows indoor for nine months of the year forced them into intensive farming in fodder.   Pig farming therefore directly grew out of dairy farming.  It was going well with the establishment of cooperative pig farming and the live pigs were sold to Germany.

Before 1888, Danish farmers relied on selling all their live pigs in Germany.  The Germans, in turn, produced the finest Hamburg bacon and Hams from it and it was mainly sold to England.   A disaster struck the Danish pork industry when swine fever broke out in the country in the autumn of 1887.  This halted all export of live pigs.  Exports to Germany fell from 230 000 in 1886 to only 16 000 in 1888.  One of the most insane industrial transformations followed.  In a staggering display, the Danes identified the problem,  worked out the solution and dedicated every available nation resource to solving it. The creation of large bacon curing cooperatives was born out of the need to switch from exporting live pigs to processed pork in the form of bacon and to sell it directly to the country where the Germans were selling the processed Danish pork namely England.  The project was a stunning success.  In 1887 the Danish bacon industry accounted for 230 000 live pigs and in 1895, converted from bacon production, 1 250 000 pigs.

After breeding and pig farming, the next step in great bacon production is slaughtering.  On 14 July 1887, 500 farmers from the Horsens region created the first shared abattoir.  On 22 December 1887, the first co-operative abattoir in the world, Horsens Andelssvineslagteri (Horsens’s Share Abattoir), received their first live pigs for slaughter.  In 1887 and over the next few years eight such cooperative abattoirs were set up and there is still no end in sight where it will end.  Each is in excellent running condition.  As in the case with the dairy farmers, each member of the cooperative has only one vote.  The profit of the middleman and the volumes exported for butter and bacon are determined by the cooperative.  The market price is fixed in Copenhagen on a daily basis by an impartial committee.

Every farmer in Denmark or manager of a bacon curing plant cant be a scientific person, and yet, it is important that farmers and factory managers alike know something of the science underpinning their trade.  It is here where the high school lessons play an important role because it provides a solid foundation and the government is doing the rest.  They have a system of inspectors who look after farms and factories where they do the exact calculations, for example, to show how much butter must be produced from the milk of each cow.  The reason for the inspections was that the Danish Government were required to guarantee the quality of the bacon and the butter it delivered to England, but it had the double benefit of on the one hand guarantees the quality and satisfy the English requirements and on the other hand, improved the quality by assisting the farmers and producers.

The logic of cooperation was extended into England, the largest market for Danish bacon.  Some years ago the English bacon market was being serviced for the Danes by middlemen.  The farmers organised a selling agency in England to represent them known as the Danish Bacon Company of London.  The concept was applied to many areas of the Danish economy.  Banking and buying in Denmark are likewise done cooperatively.  Every village has a cooperative store.

The farmer in Denmark also uses the state in another interesting way.  Commissions are sent abroad to study foreign methods.  It was most probably on one of these trips that the Danes came across the striking workers in Ireland whom they brought back to Denmark to teach them mild curing.  Mild curing technology that came from Ireland years earlier became the cornerstone of Danish bacon.  It was this industrialised model that allowed the Danes to become the undisputed leaders in the world bacon trade.  The Danes did exactly what we intend doing namely learning not only how the cooperative factory is set up, but also the inner workings of such a factory.  They learned this from the Irish and I intend learning it from them!  That will satisfy one of the cornerstone reasons why I am in Denmark.

Neat, Prepared, Ready

Many years ago, on one of my visits to Johannesburg, I met another chemicals traders with the name of Willie Oosthuizen.  Willie told me that wherever I am in the world, before I leave home, every morning I must ask myself, “am I ready, prepared and neat?  These are according to him, the three essentials without which nobody will be in a position to use opportunities that come our way every day.

Thinking about the Danish Bacon trade, I realise that the government ensured that when the right time came, the industry was ready, prepared and in a general position of neatness.  It is a strange thing that as we walked through this small Danish town and I saw the small but neat Danish houses, that I could see this Danish approach to life in everything.  I do not see class differences between people.  I see people from all walks of life getting together in small coffee shops at the end of the day, celebrating life and sharing stories.

I can see how my quest to unravel good bacon curing is teaching me as much about life than it is teaching me about meat.  Andreas told me something this afternoon before I retired to my room which is very curious.  He told me that I am too quick to claim that this is the end of my quest.  That simply knowing the steps of bacon curing without understanding it is not to know the steps at all.  Brief exposure to the Danish attitude towards work and cooperation and the internal mechanics of a bacon curing operation is only the beginning of my education.

We were sitting in a small coffee shop one afternoon when Andreas and I were talking about all these matters.  Nothing about the pork trade is easy!  It is one of the most wonderfully complex trades on earth!  He asked me how long I think I will have to stay before I know enough to set up our Woodys bacon plant in Cape Town.  I knew enough by now not to simply venture a guess.  “As long as it takes”, I said.  He smiled.  “There is so much to learn!”  “Stay for at least a year!”.  He then produced a pouch with salt in.  He placed it in the middle of our table.  I dipped a finger in the salt and tasted it.    I recognised it as saltpeter.  “This, he said, is the next subject.  I discussed it with Jeppe and he agrees that after the structure of the factory, understanding Saltpeter is your next priority!”

That was where our business talk ended.  The rest of the afternoon we talked about life.  What it was like growing up in Cape Town and the many different cultures that co-exist in this great city.  I shared many of my experiences with him from my transport business.  I told him the story of Joshua Penny and how, after his ordeal on table Mountain, a Danish captain gave him a job on his ship sailing for Europe.  I invited Andreas to visit us when we set the Cape Town factory up.  The evening was pleasant and I became very fond of my Danish instructor.  A great friendship was struck that would last the rest of my life.

Please give the kids all my love and to our dear parents.  Please give them both my letters to read before you sent it on to Oscar, James, and Will.  I will write Dawie Hyman, David de Villiers Graaff, and Uncle Jakobus separately.

I miss you dearly!

Eben

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Photos from Chris Speedy and my visit to Denmark in 2011 when Andreas Østergaard introduced us to the science of bacon production.  Chris was a master, but as for me, I knew nothing! 🙂

      (c) eben van tonder

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Bacon Curing, a Historical Review

Detroit Free Press (Detroit, Michigan) 7 October 1906, p 60.  From The Little Kingdom at the Mouth of the baltic Great Nations May Learn How to Build Up a Trade in Dairy and Meat Products.

Ellsworth County Leader (Elsworth, Kansas) 18 December 1919, p 2.

The Mother Brine

Tank Curing came from Ireland

The Yazoo Herald (Yazoo City, Mississippi), 7 November 1914, p 2, from the article, Agriculture in Denmark.

Chapter 08.02 – The Danish Cooperative and Saltpeter Introduction to Bacon & the Art of Living The quest to understand how great bacon is made takes me around the world and through epic adventures.