#so your buggy ass game launches

[chipped-chimera]

Okay. Gamedev nerd here gonna throw in some inputs. Also neuroscience nerd because it's actually relevant here, believe it or not. (This is long so buckle up)

No game needs to run faster than 30 fps

So this one is a funky one. Whether frames are 'detectable' or not to the human brain, comes down to exposure. Human brains are amazingly efficient at sifting out what I'll call 'junk inputs' - floaters in your eyes (that everyone develops eventually), the phone you chronically keep in your back left pocket to the point you're slapping your body going 'where's my phone?' only to find it exactly where you left it - the same pocket as always. Your brain got so used to those inputs, it's filtered them out because they're deemed 'not important' to be constantly shoved in your experience of reality.

Up until maybe the past 10ish years, most media that we've been exposed to has run at about 30fps. Our brain is used to this and makes it indecernable. As tech has improved, allowing for higher fps rates, you can now be more exposed to 60fps - in fact 60fps has been the broadcast standard for quite some time. If you get used to the higher frame rate, your brain grows to EXPECT this frame rate in order to efficiently throw out the junk information (the pauses between frames) so anything below that threshold becomes noticeable.

I run a pretty beefy PC with a high quality monitor, and it's gotten to the point where I can now distinguish whether something is running less than 60fps to the point I start fucking around in graphics options because I feel like my game is lagging slightly. Sometimes I will consciously run at 30fps if it's more stable for various reasons, but I do notice. 60fps comes across much smoother to me now, whereas 30 has this barely perceptible jitter - that's because my brain is no longer used to filtering out those junk signals.

So with regard to this - it is true that games COULD only run at 30fps, but it would have to be literally EVERY GAME to stay imperceptible to the user. It'd also have to be every video, every film, every piece of media we ever consume in order to REMAIN imperceptible.

Studies have been done on this and while 60fps has been accepted as the 'upper limit', it's uncertain if that will hold. Current data suggests 75fps might be the last noticeable threshold before diminishing returns. Ultimately this comes down to the user and what kind of monitor they have available, and what that refresh rate is capable of. After all, we don't see reality in FPS. End of the day, more frames = closer experience to a frameless reality = smoother experience. Now since I'm talking about the tech component, that brings me to -

No texture should be bigger than 2k

While for the most part this would have been a yes ... the fact is tech is changing. Or honestly has changed. Like yesterday. 1080p, once known as your 'HD' has not been 'High Definition' since maybe the mid 2010s. Your average phone screen - arguably the thing that most of us are exposed to on the daily - if it has been built later than 2014 is likely to be running a 2k to 4k definition screen. If you ever wondered why text looks so damn crisp on your teeny tiny mobile phone, but not on your monitor - this is why.

I upgraded to a 2k monitor last year after my ancient, literally pre-hd Cintiq drawing tablet of 15 kilos made the death knell of glitchy buttons. She had dead pixels. She was 12 years old. She was my beloved, glass topped art workhorse I had gotten as a high school graduation present that I'd slap the side of and say 'don't make em like her anymore'. But as good as she was, the difference between her and even my basic 1080p monitor was noticeable. After doing some reading, and a lot of that reading was saying '4k is now the standard' which sounded INSANE but now they're putting out 6k/8k resolution screens, I decided it'd be more cost effective to just get a screenless drawing tablet and a better monitor. I could always upgrade the screen, therefore keeping my tablet in action longer.

Hooking up that 2k monitor for the first time, last year, when this was considered literally the 'lower end' of the current market? It was like I'd put on my glasses. But I was already wearing them. Everything was so much clearer and crisp to work on. It was VERY noticeable.

But what happens when you have a 2k monitor? Well now 2k is the baseline. A 2k texture on a model, displayed on your screen where it is close enough to be at full resolution is now noticeable if it's NOT 2k. You know when a character is talking on your screen and you're getting distracted by the pixellated quality of their armour texture? That's because the texture is no longer matching your monitor resolution. It has more pixels to fill, and if the information isn't there ... well that's how you get pixellated looking textures.

So what is a Gamedev to do? 2k resolution textures are NOT SMALL. Ballpark average for a single image might be around 2MB for 2k resolution with standard channels. If you need MORE channels embedded in the image, like an alpha channel for example - well that's more information for the image to hold, therefore more file size. Crank that up to hundreds of images - diffuse textures, normal maps are a bare minimum, add on other stuff like alpha masking, tintmaps - if you want a custom character creation system that's actually decent? Multiple armor options? Recolouring options? Textures? That's a lot of images already + a lot of file size and you haven't even put in the actual game yet.

So you've now got to get creative with it. This actually brings me to what made me want to write this post:

There’s zero excuse for Baldur’s Gate 3 to be 150 GB when Skyrim is 6 GB

I'm a recent modder, but I've had the privilege of messing with Baldur's Gate 3 and I intimately know exactly how their textures are formatted and used at this point - and they are the epitome of 'get creative with it'. So I mean it when I say you're lucky BG3 is JUST 150gb.

Anyone following me knows I have gone on about it before, but as someone who was trying to rebuild models in blender post launch, you'd know that BG3 uses a very unique texture system for character models to basically stretch these textures to the absolute limit while maintaining a high fidelity resolution.

This horrendous flow-chart-from-hell is me attempting to reconstruct this system (and this is maybe only half of it). While it's likely since been cracked by someone else since I last looked at it, the best I could do was get close.

Here's how BG3 textures work: they are not your typical 'baked into one diffuse texture' image thing we're used to for most games up until this point, where you've basically flattened the skin out into a 2D picture with all the colour information.

What Larian has done is make everything grayscale, and most of them work like layering masks. For those familiar with digital art, this would be your transparent layers layered on top of each other, with or without effects. For an even more basic analogy - think of stencils, on top of each other, until you have made a composite image. This means, instead of making a texture for every single skin colour available in the game it's now only three pictures -

These three pictures contain stupid amounts of information however, because while we see a composite image, actually you're looking at 3-4 images PER IMAGE. Because in reality, this is what it looks like -

This is my reconstruction folder of separated images to reconstruct in blender. Each contains a layer of information - how much freckles to put in the face, where the ambient occlusion goes, the vein amount yadda yadda. Remember what I said about 2k images being big? Larian managed to reduce that to three out of a potential seventeen. And while an absolute pain in the ass to reverse engineer in Blender shaders, honestly I was kind of giddy at the genius of this.

It's actually what makes the entire game really flexible and modder friendly, because once you understand how it works the engine is SUPER versatile when it comes to being able to recolour things. You can share these textures across multiple models and make them look completely different by altering the value of each colour, per layer, per texture.

So if we were to extrapolate this onto the old 'flat diffuse texture model', I'll be generous here and say it's three images (eyebrow/makeup masks + flat diffuse + normal map a.k.a. the thing that adds microdetails like pores and shit) at a very modest estimate of 2MB x the 350 skintones available in the character creator?

That's 700 Megabytes - because to get the colour for each one, you now need a separate image for each one. Sure that sounds 'small' but that's just faces, and only ONE face! For the character creator. Then you have your multiple face options with different textures. And multiple races. Then there's hair. Tattoos. Armor. NPCs. World textures etc. It adds up and it adds up quick. Instead this means they can use just 3 images, for one face in the character creator for all 350 skin tones. That comes down to a measly 6 Megabytes.

Even then they cut corners where they can. There's a reason there's so many upscaling mods available for BG3 - some textures aren't 2k. So to say that they're somehow at fault for not making their game smaller while maintaining the current visual fidelity is honestly doing Larian a major disservice. These Devs scrimped and scraped for EVERY inch of room they could possibly get out of their textures, and I've seen it. I'll say it again for emphasis -

We are lucky it's ONLY 150gb.

lower poly counts > high poly counts

Okay so as a Gamedev-student-turned-modder, I agree. Most gamedevs will agree too - because they're likely already using the smallest polycounts they can within the restrictions of current generation consoles (which are always less powerful than PC) and while maintaining the baseline fidelity of likely at minimum 2k textures. I spent 3 months learning how to make 'Real Time Hair' for games a.k.a. hair that can be rendered real time as you play the game, as opposed to engine heavy simulated hair you see in CG film. If you don't want your game to turn into a frame-sink slideshow you have to keep the polygons as low as possible. And it is actually really, really hard to get nice looking hair with volume while sticking to this. If you wondered why so many hairs in game tend to be super straight and flat - this is why. It's easier to obscure a lack of volume when you're basically constructing a cardboard cube. Once you start distorting layers, like with curls for example, you're more at risk of exposing that this is just a really thin mesh.

This is the hair I built. It looks great - but it's about double to triple the standard polygon count for most of Cyberpunk 2077's in-game hairdos. I only went with it because it was a personal mod and I knew my PC could handle it. (And even then, it's still more modest than some mods out there - I've checked).

Super low poly can work too! But it often affects style in turn. There's no point putting a 2k texture on what we associate with 'low poly' models, but that's a completely different game at this point like Zelda: Wind Waker. The unfortunate reality is, if you're going for realism in your game, the faster the frame rates, the bigger the textures = the closer to literal reality it feels, and the more current your tech needs to be.

There's a bit of a psychological phenomenon around this. I vividly remember sitting cross legged on the carpet of the library as a mere 10 year old listening to my computer science teacher go off topic to gush about the 'realistic graphics' of a game that'd just come out with the boys in the class.

For context, I am 31 this year. That game? Halo. The first one. No not the remaster, the literal, first, potato-ass looking Halo.

Also remasters are a fiddly metric to measure by - often what can be done to improve the game is limited by the engine, which is also probably a dated engine. But also using a tiny resolution image to compare larger resolution improvements in textures is not going to make a discernible difference. (And also arguably the technical skill of the Game Developer and given I call Bethesda 'Bugthesda' my bar ain't very high for them but that's my personal opinion.)

End of the day, the fact is this:

Whether a 150GB game looks any different from a 20GB game comes down to a lot of factors, and the majority of them come down to what you're running. For some people yeah! Below 1080p at 30fps will run absolutely fine and look great! And there are plenty of low-poly games with smaller graphics that do really well - a good game is a good game!

But as tech evolves, things change - and so do industry standards. The current 'standard' definition television? 4k. So what might not be noticeable to you, might be very noticeable to someone else.

And Gamedevs are aware of that. They are also keenly aware of the fact people complain about filesize, and you bet whatever size you are presented with (unless you know that company to be notorously incompetent coughs loudly in Bethesda and arguably whatever the fuck the sims 4 team is doing atm) that is the smallest size physically possible that they can present you with on launch day after way too many crunch hours.

Be nice to your Gamedevs guys. The majority of developers are out there just wanting to give you a fun experience and tell a story. And I think that should be appreciated.

here are my biggest gaming hot takes:

- no game actually needs to run faster than 30 FPS

- no texture needs to be bigger than 2k, and most don’t need to be bigger than 1k (save for megatextures). A good chunk should actually be smaller than 1k

- lower poly counts > high poly counts

Once you pass a certain threshold, it doesn’t even affect the style of the game that much, and you’re just using exponentially more power to get exponentially smaller results

Like, for example, the original Skyrim was 4 GB. The remaster is 22 GB. That’s five-and-a-half times more space for the exact same content! The graphical improvements are honestly negligible, especially when you consider the massive leap in storage and RAM used.

These sorts of things just hit diminishing returns so quickly— My eyes can’t tell the difference between 1k and 4k textures.

We have so many fun ways to get the maximum mileage out of every pixel and every polygon. It’s sad to see those techniques slowly trickle away from big-budget games!

Even as storage space becomes less and less of a concern, there’s something satisfying about keeping everything as small and tidy as possible

[duckyfruitbat]

Hello Neighbor: MORE CONTENT!

Do y'all remember Hello Neighbor? For those not in the know it was planned to be a stealth horror game where you try to get into your shady neighbor's mystery basement after hearing strange sounds coming from it. During early development while it was in early access it had a lot of potential. The main selling point was the adaptive AI of the neighbor who was not very diddly doddily doodily. It could track your favorite hiding spaces, set up traps in paths you tend to take, and in one of the earliest builds it will find a way to get to you in a locked room. Things were looking good for a while, but then the updates kept coming.

The updates were less focused on polishing the game and more on adding lore and lots of puzzles. The game also got more sanitized, it is believed that this happened to be more marketable towards kids. It was also trying to lore bait big content creators like MattPat, but this all came back to bite the developers in the ass because they got tired of how bloated the game was. MattPat publicly stated that he just didn't care anymore, and Markiplier just got plain tired of it.

Let's focus on the sanitation part first. It's no secret that these mascot horror games are in some way trying to market themselves to a younger audience, but even then they have plenty moments that remind you that it is indeed a horror game. Well with Hello Neighbor as time went on, it got less and less scary. One example that perfectly encapsulates this is the music. In the finally game, when the neighbor sees you and starts giving chase the theme is this droning bass being played in a constant manner. I mean it could work, but it's not really being used right. Back when it was in early access however, when the neighbor sees you it sounds like the conductor tossed away his baton and decided to swan dive into the orchestra pit giving the double bird. It is the musical equivalent to "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" It is the near perfect chase theme, and it was scrapped. In the second half of the game, there is an entire massive portion of the house that the Neighbor just never reaches, so chances of a jump scare start to dry up pretty quick, unless you slip off of the shingles of the roof during a platforming section.

Now this game was full of theory bait, it kept things very vague, and when the franchise expanded into books and TV shows, it just did not let up. Which is unfortunate considering that the first game ended in half of it being a dream sequence that concludes in an obvious metaphor for overcoming a childhood trauma. There's also something about the neighbor losing his daughter to a roller coaster accident, oh and he may have built said roller coaster.

Then there are the endless puzzles that felt like they were created by taking the worst puzzles from the old point and click adventure games and then snorting a mountain of cocaine. This is one of those games where you'll need to keep a walk through open at all times, especially if you want to complete it within the decade. There are many puzzles that don't push you in the right direction, and many more that are just so overly complicated for no reason.

On top of all that, it is very buggy. There are plenty of times when the neighbors AI will bug out and either stand still or get stuck on some furniture. Other times he'll just de-spawn entirely, this is actually so well documented that it is a common occurrence on streams. It's also incredibly easy to launch yourself across the map, and levitate.

The next game fell into the same trappings. It was revealed in an ARG event. That also introduced us to a new character like the neighbor, and probably was the neighbor, called the Guest. He seemed to be a return to what the original idea was, being this strange little cryptid bird man who would hang around the corner watching and waiting. There was a lot of potential with the Guest, he even was the antagonist in previous builds, but then he was pushed aside in the final release of the second game. The issues in the first game weren't as present, but they were still there.

Today the game isn't exactly loved, it does have an audience that's sticking around but it is mostly remembered as a cash grab for the mascot horror genre. It started with a lot of potential and had a sharp decline when it found some success as a mascot horror.

[dirtcube]

Minecraft Server Hosts (Java)

So, you want to run a minecraft server for you and your pals, but you don't know where to go to get a good host worth your price that won't suck ass.

How do you know what server hosts are good? What do all the specs mean? Are they lying to you?

Now, I'm not the single voice on this stuff by any means, and I'm sure there's much more info better than what I've got... But I have been running private minecraft servers since 2012 and I feel like I have at least a little bit of knowledge and experience to share.

More below.

I am going to discuss all possible server hosting methods through the following categories: Pricing, Performance, Trustworthiness, Accessibility

I will also emphasise something important: It does not matter how many cores the CPU of your host has, minecraft runs only on a single thread even for servers. Anything of minecraft that runs on multiple threads is very much just light stuff, but the main game runs on a single thread. There ARE mods that attempt to multithread minecraft, but they are all experimental and buggy as fuck. Worth trying, but not worth depending on.

You need to figure out what CPU they use and if it works for single threads. Multi-threaded server hosts are just bragging about the hardware. You can find a list of CPU's good at single-thread processing HERE

In addition, more RAM =/= Better Performance. In fact, too much RAM can be detrimental because your CPU can't keep up with collecting the garbage data and disposing of it. In an ideal setting of your-average-friend-group you will need maybe 8-10gb of RAM dedicated. Never dedicate the full possible amount of RAM you can have for your server, always do 1GB less so the server has breathing room if necessary. So i.e if you have 12GB available, you put the max to 11GB.

Now that that's out of the way, we can begin with the review.

Let's first start with the most obvious one that I 100% suggest if you have some semblance of tech saviness or a tech savvy relative you can ask the assistance of.

SELF HOSTED SERVER

Your BEST option is always to self-host. But NOT on your own device. If you choose to run a dedicated server on the same device you intend to play on, you will have a bad time unless your PC is a beast. On top of that, your server will not be able to run 24/7. I do not recommend doing this unless you have a dedicated serverroom or a robust PC dedicated to only doing these things.

But, with self-hosted I mean specifically: Purchasing a cloud server from a decent host and installing everything yourself.

Price: The prices tend to come quite cheap for what you get. My private server is ~2TB of storage, Pretty good hardware, and 16gb of RAM available. You can get something small and cheap for only 12$ but if you want to use it for more than just minecraft you can get more.

Performance: Performance is tricky. You have to do your research on what you'll need for your server to run well. In my case, we're asking a contract change soon to upgrade the hardware of our server to an i7 because our current hardware does not handle single-thread servers very well.

However, once you've gone past the trickiness, the performance of a self-hosted server can be great and will outmatch most dedicated minecraft server providers.

Self hosting is great for Vanilla or Modded.

Trustworthiness: Its as trustworthy as you can make it. PLEASE look properly into server security so your entire service doesn't get hacked- not just your minecraft server. I can't say much on this topic as my father handles this side of things more than me.

For your minecraft server specifically, the best way to keep it safe is always keep on a whitelist, even if you wont be sharing the IP publically. Ensure you run your server not on the default 25565 port. Server scrapers will try to break in- we've had it happen with mine literal MINUTES after launching it! Server scrapers are bot accounts that will try to identify any open, unwhitelisted servers on the 25565 port. These scrapers can have the possibility of identifying multiple things about any server such as: Server version, if it's modded, its MOTD, playercount, and if the whitelist is off. (Do note that that whole rumor of Jeb_'s server being found and griefed that FITmc spread is likely entirely false, video explanation here, but this does not negate the fact that people can scrape this info rather easily.)

Accessibility: It's not accessible to people who know fuckall about tech. A decent amount of tech literacy is required to understand how to run a server like this. It is, however, incredibly worthwhile to learn. It's not convenient to self-host unless you already happen to be running your own private cloud or whatever.

MINECRAFT REALMS

Pricing: 8$/month, 30-day Realm for 10$, 90-day Realm for 27$ If you don't want to be stuck in a subscription, you pay more! How scummy. Good job microsoft.

Performance: 4GB world size max, No Modding, Render & Simulation distance is locked to a max of 8 and can not be altered in any way. This means regardless of how big YOUR personal render distance is, it won't go beyond 8 because the server locks it. One realm can have up to 3 world "slots", but only one can be active at a time. There is no static info about how much GB RAM they have dedicated, based on what I found their RAM is dynamic? It's unclear as they probably don't want to 100% disclose their specs.

Trustworthiness: It's microsoft. If you trust em, good for you.

Accessibility: Incredibly accessible as there is basically zero setup on the user's end.

Verdict: Not worth it unless you really dont want to deal with alternate hosts.

BISECT HOSTING

To be up front, I have not USED this one, so i'm speaking from what I'm seeing. and able to research

Pricing: Has Premium & Budget. a 6GB server (recommended modpack minimum) is 30$ for Premium, and 18$ for budget. The difference between Premium and budget is automatic modpack installation, Adjustable player slots, dedicated IP, automated backups, and a few others that dont matter to the average player. It is not really worth the markup.

Performance: They use Intel Xeon processors, SSD's, in general their specs are *really* good and I would not be surprised if their servers run entirely smoothly. However, the claim that a server can have up to 12 players online with only 1GB of ram (their cheapest option at 3$) is giving people false hope. Even the original minecraft realms offers gave a minimum of 2GB and did not expect more than two players to be able to play at a time.

Trustworthiness: I can't speak for this, but based on their support offers and their money-back guarantee, on top of general reviews stating they're very reliable, I would say they're trustworthy.

Accessibility: All server hosting comes with what is basically a multicraft control panel, which is very accessible. Automatic server installation is also very accessible and friendly. In general, I would say it seems to be good for anyone looking for a good server that's easy to set up and has everything you need.

Verdict: Ridiculously pricy, but if you have the money and don't want to deal with hassle its worthwhile. On top of that, a lot of modders are sponsored by them, so you can often use a promo code to get 25% off of your server and support a modder that way. (Though frankly if you want to support a modder I'd just throw a few bucks to their dono page or smth)

MC PRO HOSTING

Pricing: 6GB ram (minimum for modpacks) is 34$/month, Their customisable package looks convenient and cheap, but honestly would likely result in "set up your server with worse features for more money". It's very tricksy.

Performance: They claim you can have 100 possible players on only 6GB of ram. Even the best servers struggle with 100 players and I can tell you they certainly have more than 6GB dedicated- it's boasting numbers to sound good and it is absolutely not accurate. They also boast Intel Xeon processors which are at least good for minecraft, and they seem to have stopped boasting that they got multiple cores which was misleading.

Trustworthiness: They have a history of actively lying about their service and how well it can do things, on top of boasting in the past that having multi-threaded CPU's was good for the server. They changed this, which is good, but I personally don't like it. They provide DDoS protection and last I used them their support team was active and quick, which is good. Daily backups with no extra costs is also very kind of them.

Accessibility: Quick to set up and access, back in the day their control panel was a mess, they probably fixed it now.

Verdict: Overpriced and lying about the capabilities of their service, but if you know the limits yourself and can manage the server with those limits in mind you would have a decent server host.

SPARKEDHOST

Pricing: Offers Budget, Enterprise, and Extreme options. Assuming the 6GB modpack minimum... Budget: 6$, Enterprise 13$, Extreme 24$. Pricing is very reasonable, especially for what it offers in performance.

Performance: Offers Intel Xeon Processors *or* the equivalent. Take note of that. What is fascinating to me, is that their Extreme offers do boast MUCH better single-thread performance. Meaning they are aware how important the single-thread performance is for minecraft servers.

Trustworthiness: They don't boast how many players a server can host, which is great. However, it does boast that it has multiple cores (aka threads) available in its services. which, as you know, is basically useless for minecraft. On the other hand, as mentioned above the service does boast that single thread performance is increased for its extreme packages, meaning that they are open about the importance of that for a minecraft server. Having used this service before, I also must say that they are reliable and quite responsive on the support team.

Accessibility: Their control panel is pleasant to use and easy to understand. It's a pretty good server host and the fact they do explain the importance of single thread makes it more accessible to people trying to figure out how to find a good server. Other than that, it is basically like any other server host. It does not boast automatic modpack setup, though.

Verdict: Frankly one of my favourite server hosts and the one I would utilise if I didn't have a self-hosted one. Cheap, reliable, and doesn't lie about the capabilities of the server to you.

NITRADO

This is the server host i'm using right now while my self-hosted server is down for maintenance for a while.

Pricing: It's default preset packages all boast 2GB of ram for at the lowest like 2$. Otherwise, it offers a customisable package. The service i'm using is a customised package, where I selected 4 slots, a 30 day runtime, and its maximum 7GB of ram for modpacks. It costed me 13$ or so.

Performance: I can not find any information on either their website or online about exactly what their specs are which... Isn't great. Supposedly its Intel Xeon too? But the performance is weak to say the least. In addition, the website control panel is slow as all hell and the server frequently has strange issues that at this rate I have attributed to the server launching incorrectly when doing its restarts. Because I have only a 30-day package I'm not bothering to contact support over this but... Keep it in mind.

Trustworthiness: Since they're not up front about their specs I can't say they're very trustworthy. They also separate their preset packages based on player slots and not server performance.

Accessibility: They have automatic modpack setup for a large amount of mods but are not up to date with the most recent curseforge available modpacks. Other than that their control panel is confusing and awkward to use and its more convenient to utilise their FTP file access rather than just the ease of uploading things to their website THROUGH their website.

Verdict: Not worth the money. I was trying it out to familiarise myself with their services for a potential ARK server but if a minecraft server is like this Im not gonna trust it for an ARK server.

NITROUS NETWORKS

Pricing: 6GB it asks 24$/month. It boasts its pricing based on amount of players it can handle and you all know the drill on that. Boasts support for all mods and has automatic mod setup included in the pricing which is nice.

Performance: It's information about the specs is a little wonky to find with how they just prattle on a line of info about specs instead of a nice list, but they provide Xeon processors too that are not on the single thread CPU benchmark list. make of that what you will. They also claim to offer 9900k servers which are at the very bottom of single thread performance. I frankly would not use this for modded, but I know it performed decently on vanilla. It did begin chugging once more than 4 players were online at a time, unfortunately, and we did have one of the higher packages too.

Trustworthiness: Their tech support is quick and you can request them to put you on their 9900k servers manually without extra cost afaik. However, they recommend the modpack minimum being the 3GB RAM package which is frankly just lying to your customers about the capability of your services.

Accessibility: Probably one of the most pleasant control panels i've had the joy of using. The website is sleek, responsive, and uploading files is easy.

Verdict: It's a good service, but gets outshined by cheaper, better, and more robust alternatives.

There is a slew of other server hosts out there too that I may not be aware of, but I hope that this review of some of the known ones can aid in helping you find your most preferred server host- or at least be educational to you in some form.

[arachnovolt]

From the Cohost Archive: ArachnoVolt's 2022 Game of the Year List

I've always wanted to try my hand at doing long form writing stuff so I might as well start the new year off by giving more detail for my annual GOTY list. Before we get into it proper, I wanna take a quick interlude for two mini segments. My honorable mention and my biggest letdown. So for the honorable mention we have...

Honorable Mention: Monster Hunter Rise: Sunbreak

I know the base game didn't release in 2022 but the DLC did and it kicks ass. Rise is the first MH game I clicked with and Sunbreak deserves a mention for keeping the party going.

And for the disappointing one...

Biggest Disappointment: Souldiers

Now I love a good metroidvania. Especially from the indie scene. I was immediately interested in this game when I first saw it. The sprite work looked incredible, the music sounded phenomenal, and the gameplay looked great. But when I finally got to play it, my heart sank. I wanna stop and say that when it's playing nice, it's a helluva good time. This would have been on here proper if circumstances were different. But with performance issues, vicious combat balancing, noticable input lag, and incredibly sparse checkpointing, this game was a miserable experience at launch. While some of these issues have been addressed, with a consistent save crash that still persists in one late game area across all platforms that still hasn't been fixed, it's with a heavy heart that I put this game here.

Now, with the preamble out of the way... LET'S BEGIN!

10: Poinpy

Poinpy is a game that probably flew under a lot of people's radar this year. Getting a surprise launch during Summer Games Fest, Poinpy is interesting in two regards.

1: It's the most recent game from Ojiro Fumoto, creator of the hit arcade game Downwell

2: It's a Netflix exclusive

Yeah. Netflix getting an interesting exclusive game wasn't on my 2022 bingo card but here we are. Sporting an aesthetic that's the complete opposite of Downwell, Poinpy sees you bouncing and jumping up a scrolling cavern, gathering fruit to feed a cute but ravenous cat monster thing and building up high combos as you string together the fruit you collect. If you enjoyed Downwell and want something in that vein, Poinpy won't disappoint.

Moving on to our next entry, we have...

9: Islets

If you know me, you knew I'd have at least one metroidvania up in here. Developed by a team of two brothers and published by Armor Games Studios, Islets is an incredibly charming metroidvania from start to finish. The story has a very nice storybook feel to it. In the world of Islets, there's a bunch of floating islands that used to be one large connected landmass. You're one of many adventurers who's trying to put the island back together. Along your journey, you'll meet a colorful cast of characters as you traverse the world, upgrading yourself and your handy skyship along the way. I 100'd this game in 11 hours but I say that as a positive because Islets is a great game that doesn't overstay its welcome and I love that in a game.

Onto the next entry...

8: Cult of the Lamb

Ah yes . Cute and cuddly aesthetics mixed with the macabre and creepy. A surprisingly great combo. Cult of the Lamb doesn't need the kind of explanation that the last two got because everyone's either seen or played this game. Combining fast paced roguelike dungeon crawling with Animal Crossing style base management, CotL hit a very satisfying gameplay loop very quickly that snagged it spots on many peoples GOTY lists and I'm no different. And with post launch content coming next year, I'm deeply excited to get back to my Cult of the Volt.

Next on the list, we have...

7: Pokémon Scarlet/Violet

Okay. Let's get this out the way. Yes. The game's are buggy or whatever. But for me personally, if the core gameplay is fun enough and the bugs aren't that intrusive, I don't mind.

We'll just call that foreshadowing for later

In terms of Pokémon, it's been a hot minute since I've enjoyed a Pokémon game this much. Paldea is such a vast and vibrant region to explore and the new additions to the Gen 9 Pokédex are great. I mean, look at this lil guy!

But the thing that really landed Scarlet and Violet on this list is the story and its final act. I know people who have genuinely cried over the final act of this game. It's completely unexpected with how hard this story goes. And the final act has some of the most impressive music and level design I've ever seen in a Pokémon game. Absolutely stunning.

Moving on to the next one, we have...

6: Vampire Survivors

It's Vampire Survivors. What do want me to say? We knew it was going on here somewhere. It's dope as hell and free on mobile. Nuff said.

Halfway down the list, we've got...

5: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge

Now, I didn't grow up with TMNT like a lot of other people. My first major exposure was the 2012 CG animated series on Nickelodeon. But I will say this. Shredder's Revenge can make a Turtles fan out of anyone. It's one of the most satisfying beat em up games I've played in a long time. Boasting a roster of 7 playable characters with completely unique movesets and stats, classic characters from the original series, and probably one of the best OSTs of the year by Tee Lopes featuring Jonny Atma, Mega Ran, Ghostface Killah and Raekwon, and Mike Patton covering the OG theme, this game is a phenomenal love letter to the old school Turtles beat em ups and to the TMNT franchise itself.

And for number four, we have...

4: Sonic Frontiers

So about that previously mentioned foreshadowing...

I've been a Sonic fan for as long as I can remember. From the early DS days of the Rush series to the very rocky Sonic 06', I've always been a fan of the Blue Blur. So when Sega announced that the big new open world Sonic game was coming to Switch day and date with the PC and other consoles, I was cautiously interested. I was expecting a decent, if janky, Sonic experience. What I got was a janky but incredibly promising look into the future of the Sonic series. The last time I felt that rush of speed that Frontiers offers was Sonic Generations. From the linear Cyber Space stages harkening back to the traditional levels and the open world letting you cut loose to run fast and beat some ass, Sonic Frontiers is the most exhilarating game in the series so far. This game also boasts an OST that deserves far more credit because it goes HARD. And Ian Flynn brings a surprisingly interesting tone shift to the narrative that felt serious without going overboard into Shadow the Hedgehog levels of angst. While there's definitely a few hiccups here and there, it's a very enjoyable experience that I still pick up every now and again to race across the Starfall Islands.

Moving into the top three, we have...

3: Soundfall

Okay. So as Cult of the Lamb showed, I really like top down hack and slash games. Now I discovered this game over a year ago while it was still in development because the premise was so unbelievably intriguing. A top down hack and slash looter game... where you hack, slash, dash, and bash to the beat of the music. On paper, that sounds like one of those things that's awesome in theory but kind of a mess in practice. Soundfall completely shattered my expectations and became one of my favorite hack and slash action games of the past few years. The story follows a barista named Melody who's pulled from Earth into the world of Symphonia, the source of all music. It's up to her and her allies to take up their roles as the Guardians of Harmony and save Symphonia.

What makes Soundfall such an interesting game is it's gameplay structure. Instead of something like Diablo that takes an open world approach or something like Hades that has you going room to room, Soundfall is broken up into multiple worlds with multiple levels in each one. Each level is built around a single song with each world being themed around different genres of music. The starting world has a very upbeat pop vibe while my most recently completed world was all about those techno beats. While all the player characters can use most of the same gear, each of them have a unique primary attack and super themed around their personality to give them something to make them feel distinct. And with the PC version having the ability to add your own music into the game to play to, I can imagine myself spending quite a bit of time kicking it in Symphonia.

And now for the penultimate entry...

2: Kirby and the Forgotten Land

Oh my sweet pink child. I've always loved Kirby. Ever since the DS remake of Super Star Ultra, I've been a fan of Kirby so when this was announced, I was beyond ready. When it launched, I fell in love immediately. The music was breathtaking, the visuals stunning, and the gameplay was just as fun in 3D as it was in 2D. With a hefty post game and loads of adorable in game figures to collect, I had a blast playing through the Forgotten Land and getting that 100% completion.

And finally. My favorite game of 2022 is...

# 1: Pokémon Legends: Arceus

You know how earlier I said it's been a hot minute since I've enjoyed Pokémon as much as Scarlet and Violet? Yeah. Well, when I played Legends Arceus, I hadn't enjoyed a Pokémon game like that since I was a kid. Everything about Legends Arceus was refreshing coming from the perspective of someone who had only started playing Pokémon again with the Switch games. The Agile/Strong style and the hordes made battles feel brand new in a way that didn't just feel like a new gimmick. You could just use trade items on trade evolution Pokémon and they'd just evolve. Being able to just throw Poké Balls at wild Pokémon without having to initiate a battle made catching new Pokémon so much quicker. The ability to change your Pokémon's moves at any time was thankfully a feature that got carried into Gen 9. And the biggest praise I will sing for Legends Arceus...

Filling out the Pokédex was fun. In every Pokémon game I've ever played, including Scarlet and Violet, filling out the Pokédex always felt like boring busy work. Sure, it's something you needed to do for the shiny charm in later generations but until that, all you got was "a sense of pride and accomplishment". In Legends Arceus, the Pokédex was the plot. Your main objective was filling that out but it was so much fun, I actually felt motivated to get Research Level 10 on every Pokémon. I hope the future games try to make filling out the Pokédex as fun as it was in Legends Arceus. While I do enjoy and still play Violet, I deeply hope that Legends Arceus is the framework that Game Freak looks at as they take the Pokémon series into the future.

And that's all for my GOTY list! If you stuck through a my rambling, thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed reading that. Hopefully, I'll have more stuff to write about in the future.

[soconfusedwithmylife]

i love subnautica but dude is it buggy as shit lmao although! its one of its charms since its funky most of the time ESPECIALLY when its not happening to you. like i had a peeper stuck in the corner of my lifepod just rotating?? and it would close its eyes when i would come close or a shine light on it and open them back up when i go away or close the light. or like when a poor spadefish or boneshark gets yeeted across the ocean for no reason. is it funny to look back on a warper coming out of the sea to you like some fucked up little mermaid or a chelicerate busting through a ventgarden to attack you? sure. but is it fucked up in the moment? NO. the latter happened to my sister while i was there to emotionally support her on her way to get alan's whateverthefucks lmao. she loves and prefers below zero majorly over the og mostly because it was the first one she played and she grew attached to it over the beta,, she hates where they ended up with the finished product. i played like half an hour of it in the beta decided it wasnt for me. i get SUPER jealous of the seamonkeys and the mineral detector tho. ayoooo rip to you consolers but im different B) pc is superior in the way it literally lets you fuck around with however you want and you bet i Will Play God whenever applicable! what else do you play? also now that we are talking about games i have to tell you. i love you and and your writing. but the feelings ive felt when i read you put him in plat............. my boy should have been at least diamond from the start im still in tears from that chapter i still havent recovered to this day how could you do my boy like this. how could you doubt his epic gamer skills and gaming time management issues like this. please explain yourself before my entire life falls apart at your feet. also me, an adc main, reading "accidentally kill the large-"

my boy was holding it in by shEEr power of love. especially after they nerfed the fuck out of adc to the point mfs will be rolling up the lane with double ap or a fucking yasuo. why is there always a fucking yasuo on enemy bot lane. and why do they all share the same zombie braincell. yone did not die for this bullshit. and to answer your question it depends on where im sending the question from lol. like on mobile there is like a 300? i think? character limit while on mobile and something similar on pc if i go to your blog site and choose ask from your theme. but here is the thing. if i go to your blog from tumblr/user instead of user.tumblr, then click ask, it literally gives me the same box as if im making a post. so no text limit whatsoever and i can freely send pics and stuff, pretty neat B)

nah i think at the end of the day doing whatever makes you the most comfortable and happy regarding the uploads is the most important! i just liked having multiple days of something nice to me ya know? not necessarily the fact that it was split. and i love them both!! the reason i call it texas touya fic is because one, when i started reading tomura was still more like on the sidelines and it kinda stuck two, it rolls of the tongue easier than texas tomura i guess? but i love them both T-T both as texans and in general! oh and dont worry ill probably bore you till you tell me to go away or something and and and! have a nice day!

I almost wish my game was as buggy as yours sounds. It sounds hilarious and game enriching. Mine doesn't like to glitch up but that probably because I played on PS4 and 5. Right after original launch of plain Subnautica, I got to the lava castle but the containment area wouldn't load so I had to start a new save. Hours down the drain.

^legit me after going through the entirety of the game again. Reapers, warpers, ghosts, and sea dragons biting chunks out of my ass all over again. But it was soooooo fun. It's one of my fave games.

OMG the backseat support gamer!!! I had one of those too for my second play through of oh Subnautica! Good on you to emotionally and psychologically hype your sister for the spookiness. I really liked below zero the first time I played it since I was just super hyped to have more Subnautica period but playing them again, you can definitely feel a substantial difference in atmosphere and replayability. Below zero just felt cramped and not as scary while Subnautica was open to terror from any direction. I totally understand your first experience being your favorite though. Whoa! You played it in the beta??? That's awesome! I'm but a lowly console peasant (until I get my PC fixed 😈) so I had to wait for console release.

OMFG DUDE. I was literally going to make him diamond II or even master BUT I didn't want a mega mind gamer in the comments to be like "erm, tomura wouldn't be diamond. It's hard to get to diamond!!11!" So I lowered his stats and you know what's CRAZY?! Me and a friend were talking about this exact issue and she brought up how he should have been at least diamond and I said the exact same story lmao. So I will go back and edit him into diamond 💀 he deserves it. The CS steal is so real 😔 so uncalled for. So unsophisticated. Okay but playing yasuo is fun, going against a yasuo is cancer. The wind shield is op. (When I'm playing against a yasuo) but sucks balls and blocks nada when I play him. (It's a zombie braincell hivemind that we all take turns with)

You're a Tumblr pro dude. 💀 I hadn't used it since 2015 so I'm still getting the hang of it (it doesn't tell me when I get notifs btw so I'm sorry for leaving you hanging for TWO WEEKS)

It legit means so much to me that you find so much joy in my writing and have stuck with it even with the long periods between updates. I appreciate you and the time you put into talking to me. It means a lot to me and you're the coolest anon I know.

Oh! And other games I play are pretty much anything 💀 I try to not get into competitive games like overwatch, Apex, or CSGO because I get EXTREMELY competitive and start screeching like a wounded animal. I used to play league religiously until my PC broke and my laptops can't run it (it can but it's like I'm either crashing or playing on PowerPoint) so I'm saving to get a new processor so I can play again! I mained ADC (jinx and Ashe, sometimes Tristana) or Annie on mid (LOL) BUT other than those, I prettyuch like anything. My fave games are Horizon Zero Dawn, Fable 2, Binding of Isaac, Assassin's Creed 2, and Minecraft! I play lots of survival games like ark, the forest, 7 days to die, and so on. I like simulation games Sims (obviously), house flipper, power wash simulator or even farming simulator 💀. You name a game, I've either played it or know about it.

They are my loves. They are my special boys and I care deeply for their fictional existence. As Texans, futuristic jerkwads, and in general.

No way will you ever bore me. If anything, I'll bore you

ANYWAY I will literally talk forever if given a chance 😬 thank you for talking to me! I'm always so excited to hear from you! I consider you a good friend at this point. How long has it been? Like 3 months? Maybe more???

[all-units-code-219]

Don't stack Lost Rite, it's broken af!!

I was experimenting with random combos trying to get inspired and kinda liked it with some other hair (I don't remember the name, one of arena URs. whatever i've stacked that one before and it was fine)

And it all went to shit when I went into photo mode, Nikki's eyes got that metallic contacts glitch even though I wasn't really messing with makeup for that outfit. I tried to go back to styling but the back button just fucking stopped working, cool, love this buggy ass game.

I thought whatever, I'll take a pic anyway, but at that point my phone was overheating like crazy and it started messing with my broken sensor, basically ghost tapping everywhere. I had the poses tab open so it made Nikki rapidly go through a bunch of them, and I think the game couldn't load them fast enough because by the time i managed to swipe the window down and stop it Nikki was stuck in some weird distorted pose with her arms unnaturally twisted and her legs just fucking gone — idk, the 3d model for them gave up and stopped loading I guess

I looked at it in awe for a bit and tried rotating her to see Shining Cthulhu from all angles, and that's where it gets even better: eye tracking got turned on by itself too and the button stopped working, so she was always looking straight at me, even when I rotated her body 180 degrees away from the camera (at least I assume I did, it was hard to tell with the glitchy pose)

The game finally crashed when I tried to post it to Reverie, and when I reopened it the UI was completely fucked and my main screen Nikki was replaced by that monstrosity, now also slightly *moving* as if this all wasn't bad enough, and all speech bubbles were empty. Oh, and the back button was still dead. I had to hard shut down my phone to get out because nothing else worked. I probably should've reinstalled at that point but I didn't want to download it again so I just used Fix and let it do its thing... But when it was done, my account was replaced with a newbie one like I just started the game, even though I know it was properly bound and all. I contacted support and they haven't replied yet — as if they're gonna be useful for once anyway

I know the ghost taps changing the pose was probably just my phone being weird, added that for context, but I think the eyes glitch and the UI going crazy was related to the hair. Idk what else to blame, not like I can test it since it's a UR without a set from some past event. Hell, all people I've talked to don't have this hair themselves, one girl thought I was talking about Arionus or something (even tho the hair from that set isn't called Lost Tides iirc). I couldn't find anyone else talking about it, maybe because the hair looks weird so no one else wanted to stack it. And now you know you shouldn't! Unless you wanna lose all of your progress, I guess.

I'm so upset right now. Hopefully support restores my account soon, I've been playing almost since launch and won't be able to get back everything I had if I start over. Hopefully the devs will fix that shit before more people catch it, but knowing Paper I'm not really optimistic about it, so stay safe.

you know what i would love to see for spooky month

nikki creepypasta

i mean come on, "cute but secretly disturbing" is the main horror trend of this decade, nikki is perfect for it

idk if anyone will be interested but as a nice bonus if you do it i'll draw you a portrait of your oc (or your favorite ln/sn character). just make sure i see it

idc if you're terrible at writing, that's a feature for creepypasta

shitposts or serious horror stories, completely in-universe or "and then nikki reached out of my phone" sonic.exe tier, go wild

please make this happen

[tothemeadow]

these Mario kart AUs are killing me 😭 Ok so, after that little um..’display’ lol, It’s come down to this...Girls vs boys..The reader with the girls competing in the hardest mode: ☀️S h i n e T h e i f☀️ Empress-Sama can pick the punishment 👀

‘to claim victory pt. 3′ / Pillars x Reader

warnings: slight NSFW

words: 1,556

(a/n): Muichiro is 18+ in this! 

also, one word: femdom

-

This is it.

This is your chance.

You’ve come so far, and you are not going to give up. Failure is a well-known friend by now, lingering on your shoulders and whispering words of doubt into your ears. There is nothing left to lose, now, and you’re going to give it your all.

The same can be said for Shinobu and Mitsuri. Like you, they’re tired of facing a loss and crave after the sweet taste of victory. The other team – the guys – have had far too good for far too long. It’s their turn for them to plead for forgiveness, to kneel at your feet and cry for mercy.

You’re so damn hungry for power. It’s well within your grasp, inches away. You are not going to lose this time. Boys be damned.

Stripped down to your undies, your flesh bears fresh goosebumps. The heat radiating off of Tengen and Kyojuro is downright pleasant, and you desire to have them cling onto you. But no, you cannot allow yourself to be distracted.

Your character frantically chases after Shy Guy, gradually closing in on his little buggy. The Shine Sprite hanging above him sticks out like a sore thumb, and you’re practically salivating to get a hold of it. You wait until you’re directly behind and take your aim.

“It’s nothing personal, Gyomei,” you speak.

At that, your character whips a green shell at Shy Guy. The Shine Sprite flies off, allowing you to quickly grab onto it before zooming away.

“Dammit,” Tengen curses by your side.

“Oh my gosh!” Mitsuri cries out. “We got it! We got it!”

“Don’t lose focus, Mitsuri,” Shinobu is quick to respond. “(y/n),” she says to you, “we’ll cover you.”

“Like hell you will,” Giyuu grunts.

Yoshi comes barreling towards your character. Boo King slams straight into him, effectively keeping him from reaching you.

“Thanks, Shinobu!”

“Oi, jackass,” Sanemi barks at his teammate, “don’t fuck this up!”

Your heart thuds with every beeping second. Twenty seconds left. You have to hold onto it for thirty. You must.

Again and again, the guys either launch themselves or an attack at you, but either one of the girls comes to your aid just in time or you somehow dodge it. Isabelle is hot on your heels. Waluigi is charging straight towards you. There are only moments to make a decision.

Screw it, you think as you rear your character to the side. You can hear both Muichiro and Obanai muttering curses.

Ten seconds left.

Your skin is absolutely crawling.

“Give it up!” Kyojuro taunts in his usual happy-go-lucky way. He tries to be intimidating while playing games, but he’s really not.

“Kiss my ass,” you toss back. You flash him a smile right when the clock reaches zero.

“No!” all of the boys shout.

“Yes!” the girls cheer.

Giyuu merely sighs and sets his device to the side.

Mitsuri wildly claps her hands. “(y/n), you did it! You really did it!” You quickly hop up from your seat to meet her hug.

Shinobu comes to stand next to the two of you, a dark glint in her eyes. Her lips curl into a sadistic smile. “Girls,” she begins, using a low voice, “you know what this means.”

A similar smile appears on your own face. It’s time for revenge.

The three of you simultaneously turn to the guys.

“Alright,” Shinobu continues, crossing her arms. “Now it’s our turn to pick the punishment.”

A round of grumbles comes as a reply. The guys are in no place to be angry, especially since all of them agreed to the conditions.

Shinobu claps her hands together. “Alright, gentlemen, please do us a favor and strip.”

You bite your lip and share a sneaky smile with Mitsuri.

Their reactions are amusing, to say the least. Of course, Tengen has no issue with whipping off his clothes and showing off all his glory. Kyojuro doesn’t mind, but is face turns red while he does so. Sanemi and Obanai only seem annoyed by the ordeal. The rest reluctantly do as told, an anxious expression written across theirs features. Soon enough, the room is filled with half naked men.

Mitsuri’s face blows with a bright pink. “Oh, wow.”

You agree. You know all of the guys spend a lot of time working on their physiques, but to see them up close and personal? It’s incredible.

Tengen flexes as your gaze flicks over his torso. “Like what you see, sweetheart? I know, this is quite some prize,” he purrs.

Shinobu rolls her eyes. “Pick two,” she says to you and Mitsuri. “I think we should give them a taste of their own medicine, don’t you agree?”

Your dominant side perks at the suggestion. It’s revenge, alright. And if you can get the guys as embarrassed and flustered as they made you, then sobeit. Humming, you tap your chin, eyes scanning over the different guys. “I want him,” you say, pointing at Sanemi, “and him.” Your finger lands at Muichiro.

“Alright,” Sanemi growls, “let’s get this shit going, then.”

You meet his challenge with a shark-toothed smile.

It’s funny that Sanemi is trying to pass as unbothered about the whole thing. For one, he hates to lose. Second, you can see the subtle shifts in his character. The light trembling. The way he swallows harder than usual. You’re already affecting him and you haven’t done anything yet. Taking a seat next to him, you bat your eyelashes at him.

“I promise I won’t bite.”

Sanemi scoffs at your obvious bluff. He knows it’s a personal jab; he’s into biting himself, and the mark on Mitsuri’s shoulder says it all.

Kyojuro’s sudden giggling catches your attention. Turning to him, you see Mitsuri peppering kisses up and down the column of his neck. Oh, so he’s sensitive? You’ll have to keep that in mind. On the other hand, Shinobu is sitting on Gyomei’s lap. Compared to his massive size and her tiny one, she’s more of a doll sitting in his lap rather than a human.

Fingers dig into your fleshy hip. “Stop watching them,” Sanemi growls, just low enough for you to hear. Jealousy laces his words, and it’s clear as day. Heat spikes up your back.

You cast your attention back to him and click your tongue. “Brat,” you hiss. His fingers dig into you harder. “Don’t be so upset,” you breathe into his ear. “I’ll mark you, okay?”

A heavy breath passes through Sanemi’s nose as you nibble at his earlobe. Lips skimming his sharp jawline, your lids fall into a sultry squint. Sanemi gulps.

It starts with a few light kisses situated under his jaw. You soon grow bolder; it turns into open mouthed kisses, sensuous licks. You take delight in how much he’s trembling. His hand forces your thigh over his legs so that you’re half-straddling him. Although he’s acting extremely bratty, he knocks his head to the side when you suckle on his flesh.

Other sounds fill the room. They’re mostly grunts and little pleasured sighs, but there’s also impatient ones mingling with them. Seems like the others are impatient for their punishment.

Sanemi’s openly groping and kneading your thigh now. You swat his hand away as a warning, but it goes unheeded. You sink your teeth into him in return.

“Fuck!” Sanemi barks.

“Shit,” Tengen mutters off to the side.

Your fingers grip onto his hair and jaw, keeping him in place. After a few moments, your tongue licks over the fresh bitemark and you pull away. You flash Sanemi a devilish grin as he scowls back at you, his chest heaving. Gingerly, you grab him by the wrist and take his hand off of your thigh.

“What did I tell you?” you whisper. “Now you’re bearing my mark - just like you wanted, right?”

Sanemi inhales sharply through his teeth.

Picking yourself into a stand, you look to Muichiro. From his spot on the floor, he looks impossibly tiny. His brilliant eyes widen as you cross over and stand directly in front of him.

“Sit back,” you order him.

And just like that, Muichiro snaps from his hunched position and leans back, his palms pressed to the floor. You quickly drop to the floor, a leg swinging over him; as you straddle him, you press your hands flush to his exposed abdomen.

“I wonder where I should mark you,” you murmur, mimicking the words he said to you earlier. “You think you’re always so sly, Mui. Maybe I should put you in your place.”

Your words take him by surprise. Leaning down, you pick your spot on his collarbone. Muichiro’s high-pitched gasp fills your ears, fuels that growing fire inside of you. You suckle on his skin languidly, dragging your tongue and your teeth whenever you feel like it. Muichiro’s muscles flex underneath your hands.

“Such a good, pretty boy,” you mumble offhandedly. “You’re not a brat like Sanemi.”

To your surprise (and delight), a soft moan breaks through his lips. Color immediately colors his face and Muichiro promptly clamps his mouth shut. Pulling away, you lick your lips and cock your head at him. His eyes shine with that fierce emotion you saw in them earlier.

“Hmm,” you say aloud, grabbing everyone’s attention, “I decided that I like winning a lot more than losing.”

[ilikedetectives]

Hi, did you play every AC game? If yes, in term of game plays which are the easiest? For someone without much experience in games, ty!

Not every AC game, because I can handle only so much of cookie cutter games at a time. Before I say more, lemme get this out of the way first: I played the Ezio trilogy back in 2018 because Da Vinci’s Demons was cancelled and I wanted more Da Vinci content and the white and red hoodie looks cool. In other words, I didn’t play the game because it’s called Assassin’s Creed.

The AC games I played so far, by the order of which one I play first. I’ll rate gameplay by my personal preferences (because it’s the only way I know how).

Ezio’s trilogy (AC2, AC Brotherhood, AC Revelations, played in 2018): decent parkour, minimal grind (just invest in the villa and you’re a millionaire in a day or two), very story focused (perfect balance of historical and modern plots). Decent combat. The golden years of AC and I agree.

Unity (played a few months after Ezio): good parkour, medium grind (bigger map and more items to upgrade, you still get to invest in properties so it helps). Time-saver items are on sale for real money aka MTX (ew). Combat is ok, not much difference since Ezio. Historical story is meh (I don’t care for Arnold because Elise’s story is more interesting) and they completely ditched the modern plot (you think Odyssey has little modern day plot, try Unity). Buggiest AC game I encountered and I played this game 4+ yrs after launch (hold on to that thought, keep reading). Ubi spent all of their time and budget doing the interior design (which is gorgeous btw) that they have none left to fix the bugs.

Black Flag (a few months after): chasing flying papers is my favorite activity to NOT do. Grindy af (no property investment). I can’t tolerate the controls for the ship so I hate everything that involves ship in this pirate game, except for sea shanties. You’ll have more fun playing this game as a pirate than an assassin. Combat feels the same since Ezio. Other mechanics are like Unity (understandable). Modern plot is minimal, but it makes bloodline irrelevant and there’s a....soul inside a computer server that wants to possess a human body, meanwhile said soul’s husband is a maniac who has unlimited reincarnations (realism, I know). Black Flag is the gateway game that convinces me that I should stop wasting my brain cells in “what kinda bs realism is dis?”

Odyssey (a month after launch, bought solely because of Kassandra also when I heard Odyssey is set before the creed, oh fuck yea I don’t need to sit through another rehash of Creed crap or at least minimal anyway): oh gods a breath of fresh air from the old controls where you have to hold R2 whenever you want to run and my fingers hurt sfm. Climbing is the best because the protag actually moves where you want them to move. MTX (ew). Grindy but because the combat and movements are smooth, best combat so far; I don’t see Odyssey as grindy because I enjoy my time playing (also Kassandra); I platinum the game on PS4 at around 130 hrs I think, could’ve been earlier but photomode. Fun quests that I giggle whenever thinking about them (I don’t remember shit about any quests in any other AC game, but then again Kassandra). People bitch about no parkour but who parkour in the 450BCE?!?!? Full disclosure: I never cared for parkour and never will. I stop caring for modern plot after how Unity and Black Flag handled it. Playing Odyssey makes me realize that I enjoy AC games more if idgaf for the AC aspect, rather, I play for the fictional historical tourism aspect. Just ditch the AC and voila, blue sky and fresh air. Playing Odyssey also makes me realize that I want a spin-off IP that focus on the Isu so we can go full fantasy. Do I need to say how pretty Odyssey is? lol

Origins (planned to play Origins first, but Kassandra. Also, I remember Amunet from AC2, but somehow we play as a dude in Ancient Egypt, I’m not too eager to find out, despite I prefer Egyptian mythology over Greek and I’d like to thank Yu-gi-oh for that): combat is clunky, heavy, and slow, though no need to hold R2 to run so phew. Grindy af. The bow mechanics is a decade outdated (Horizon Zero Dawn came out the same year and oh boi the difference is night and day, oh yea I played HZD before Origins. I get it the bow isn’t the focus but does it have to feel like Skyrim in 2017?). I’m glad I play this game for the Ancient Egypt (which is beautifully designed *chef kiss*) aspect and no more. 

Syndicate (I play this along side of Origins, still haven’t finished it though. Literally bought the game for Evie and I nut over Victorian fashion): combat is no different from Unity. Grindy like Black Flag and Unity. Story is meh in both historical and modern plot so far. Evie is the only reason I’m still trying to play this game. At least the Helix outfits are included in the Gold edition of the game. Victorian London is gorgeous tho.

Valhalla (only care for this game because Eivor. Tbh after God of War and Hellblade, idc for another Viking game): game is buggy af, buggiest AC game I’ve played. Combat is like Origins but worse: the only saving grace is the finishing move & the bow mechanic hasn’t been improved since Origin; I honestly would rather have combat from the Ezio games over whatever-this-is. You have to toggle a button to run now, which is dumb af because I miss Origins and Odyssey automatic run. They bring parkour back (because Vikings totally dig parkour back in the Dark Ages) as well as the-character-doesn’t-move-where-you want-them-to from the older games. Chasing flying papers from black flag is back, no thx. Looting enemies is useless, but hey you get to run around to look for a key or two or THREE to get some minimal amount of materials; so imagine if 2/3 of every chest in Origins and Odyssey are locked. Oh! You have manually pick berries/food to heal, no healing potion, wtf is this half-ass RPG shit? Side quests, oh sorry World Events, aren’t tracked in an open-world game (guess who hasn’t been doing these bitches?). Grindy af. I’m wasting my time looking at the skill points interface (you have 99 lv in Odyssey, 55 in Origins, 403 power in Valhalla. A game doesn’t feel like grindy if you level up every 2 quests for 403 times, does it? lololol). The useless SP tree is so massive that I just don’t use the skills I acquire because it takes too much time to find out which buttons to push to locate the 10 skills in this 403-dot clusterfuck, but the astronomy design is beautiful (gotta give credit when it’s due). Scummy practice from Ubi: releasing “time-saver” pack AFTER reviews are published. Also, who wanna bet there will be more mtx outfits than in-game outfits? Don’t worry, Ubi makes inventory management cLEaNeR for you *hands over 8 outfits for an RPG game*. The free event bugs tf out of your already buggy event, but hey, you’ll get a free outfit that’s a reskin of what you already have, teeheee be grateful. Eivor is amazing but by the gods playing this game is a chore. Tbh I only play Valhalla if I don’t feel like playing Ghost of Tsushima that day. Lastly, why is England so yellow like it’s Ancient Egypt?!?!? And why the sunlight moves faster than Eivor’s running at full speed? Which parts of this game does realism count?!?!?!?

Unsolicited opinion: GoT is an example of how an AC game should be and how DLCs should be handled, but with Ubisoft it will never be and I’m so fucking glad that it is Sucker Punch Prod which handles feudal Japan with utmost respect and realism. See how “honor” is handled in both games and compare the writing. Ubisoft should have announced ding dong AC is dead and create a new IP, but AC is their most financially successful franchise so expect more of this MTX, I mean, grindy RPG approach with minimal narrative. 

[nbapprentice]

That "LGBT bashing" anon had me thinking: Can we all safely admit that Dream Daddy wasn't really all that good?????? I know that a lot of fans were trying to accuse people of "puritanism" if they critiqued it but the fact of the matter is that the game wasn't really all that good or really groundbreaking for LGBT rep in visual novels. Even if you ignore the fact that the game was buggy to all hell on launch and that the Game Grumps were involved in it (1/?

(2/?) The game itself really showed that there was little to no input from actual gay men in the development of the game. It's like they were going off of some idea of what the audience wanted but they didn't bother asking in the first place. And then with the whole closted gay man route where it ends with him staying in a toxic relationship and the player getting a "don't cheat" moral when all the dates were literally nothing but two dudes hanging out until the last one

(3/?) Which, by the way, you have to get a good score on to even get the actual ending to the route was a dumb decision because none of the other routes tried to push a message across so to do that to your closeted gay man in a toxic relationship was just unbelievable. Overall, the game was good for a few good memes I guess but to act like it was a perfect game that didn't deserve to be criticized is just plain wrong

oh buddy in this house we know dream daddy is a fucking mediocre-ass disaster written by a cishet woman who thinks a happy divorce is EVIL and married couples should stay together FOREVER and literally called gay ppl who just want to enjoy a videogame “sociopaths” (pretending it was about people being unable to handle rejection or whatever)

it’s absolutely no surprise the only people who like it are fujoshi (unfortunately, a lot of them are wlw lmfao like. yall may not be straight but you didn’t forget your yaoi upbringing i guess!?)

not to mention the fucking margarita zone that they were pretending would never make it into the game, but i know, in my FUCKING bones, that they were gonna release it more than happily but ppl found it before they could and backlash made them stay completely quiet about it until they were like “ummm this was extra content never meant to see the light of day, honest!” hmm that margarita zone achievement says otherwise you fucking weirdos

and ps: the main plot w the daughter doesn’t become involved w the actual gameplay of the dad dates at all. like... you’d think her dad dating after years of her other parent being fucking dead would be relevant to her but i guess not

[lfthinkerwrites]

Riddle of the Minotaur 2: Daniel Mockridge Sucks

Title: Tales from Gotham Academy

Previous chapters: 1/2

Summary: A week before the trip, the kids compare notes, and plots begin to form. Oh boy.

"Attention, students of Gotham Academy. This is Principal Hugo Strange. As a reminder to our Freshman class, all signed permission slips for the Field Trip next Friday must be turned in to either Ms. Kringle or to your homeroom teacher by the end of the day today. The slips will be carefully checked for forgeries, and any and all forgers will be severely punished. This very much includes you, Mr. Todd. That is all."

At his friend's and sibling's usual lunch table, Jason looked at the nearest loudspeaker and flipped it off with both fingers. "Fuck you too, Strange."

"You know he can't hear you," Tim pointed out, not looking up from his phone.

"It's the principal of the matter, Timbo," Jason drawled, turning his attention back to his ham sandwich, and to his best friend Roy, who was sitting beside him. "I can't believe we're stuck with Coach Numbnuts all day next Friday."

"It's not just us, Jay," Roy said. "Machin's gonna be with us in detention too. He got caught giving out free copies of The Communist Manifesto to some freshman and their folks complained."

Jason groaned. "God damn it. That's just what we need. A day with Bolton and Lonnie. Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll kill each other."

Across the table, Barbara rolled her eyes. "You know how lucky you two are that you're just in detention the rest of the school year. You were this close to getting expelled for that stunt you pulled with al Ghul's car."

Jason just laughed. "Good times. Good times." He finished off the last of his sandwich. "Still, I'd almost rather be on the trip. You looking forward to it, Timbo?"

Tim looked up from his phone and shrugged. "Not really, but at least Kerr's not around to make it even worse."

Dick piped up from Tim's left. "He wasn't on the trip mine and Barbara's freshman year, and that still sucked."

"That was a camping trip, wasn't it?" Stephanie asked from Tim's right. "And you got to be gone all weekend?"

Barbara sighed. "We were supposed to be, then on the first night, Professor Crane thought it would be a good idea to tell us a scary story about the Wendigo. Then someone started a rumor that he actually was a Wendigo, and a couple of kids chased him across the campgrounds and up a tree." She shook her head. "We were on the buses back home the next morning, and all trips lasting longer than ten hours were banned."

Duke shook his head. “Man and I thought seeing Kerr in a thong last year was bad.” The kids at the table shuddered, with the exceptions of Cassandra, who wasn’t easily bothered, and Ellen and Duela, who were distracted by Ellen’s furious sketching.

Jason finally looked down the table at the pair. “You two have been quiet. What are you working on? Another issue of Beautiful Captain Zodiac Sparkles?”

“No,” Ellen said venomously. She put her pen down and passed her sketch to Duela, who passed it to Cassandra, who passed it to Roy, who passed it to Jason. He put the paper down and inspected it. It was a drawing of a guy in a business suit, with slicked back black hair and a thin mustache that screamed: “I’m a corporate douchebag, please punch me in the face!” He was complimented with devil horns and a bolt of lightning about to strike  

Jason cocked his head. "Who's this guy?"

"Daniel Mockridge," Ellen said. Jason was almost taken aback at how angry the little freshman looked. "He used to be my Dad's boss until he fired him, the fucking asshole!"

"Whoa, Ellie, language," Dick chided.

Tim suddenly looked up from his phone, his eyes wide. "Wait. Daniel Mockridge? The CEO of Competitron? That Daniel Mockridge? Your Dad used to work for him?"

"Yeah," Ellen answered, her anger replaced with confusion. "Dad used to be a game developer for them."

Tim's jaw dropped. "No way. Did he work on the original 'Riddle of the Minotaur'?"

"Yeah, he created it, but he didn't get any credit or money for it, 'cause Daniel Mockridge is a piece of shit!" Duela put her hand on Ellen's shoulder to comfort her friend.

Tim, on the other hand, looked like he'd had his mind blown. "Wow. Ellen, you realize that your Dad is a hero to the puzzle gaming community, right?"

"That may be the dorkiest thing I've ever heard you say, Timbo," Jason laughed.

Ellen groaned. "Oh, I knew I shouldn't have told you. Please, don't ask my Dad about it. He doesn't like to talk about working there after what Mockridge did to him."

Tim reluctantly nodded. "I won't say a word, I promise." His own face darkened a bit. "I'd love to hear what he thinks about Riddle of the Minotaur 2, though."

Dick and Jason let out a groan, and even Cassandra shuddered a bit. "Not again, Tim," she said. "I don't think I can listen to another three-hour rant about how bad Riddle of the Minotaur 2 is."

Tim however, would not be denied his rant. "$60 to pre-order the game, and then when it's released, it's so buggy it's unplayable!" He pulled up his internet browser on his phone. "Look, this guy uploaded a video after launch just to document how many bugs he found!"

Duke looked over Tim's shoulder to look at the phone. "Dude, that video's over four hours long!"

"Yeah! And this was just after launch! He released an update video last week and it's over six hours long! And then's there are all the microtransactions! You have to pay $80 to get the skin of the player character from the first game or grind for over 500 hours in a game where you get attacked by invisible enemies or the server randomly crashes! Why do you even have to play online!? It's a single player game!"

Stephanie turned wide-eyed to Cassandra, Dick, Barbara, and Jason. "Does he always get this worked up over video games?"

"Just that one," Cassandra said. "It got so bad Alfred had to ban him from the internet for three weeks last year."

Duela raised an eyebrow. "Alfred banned him? Not Bruce? Isn't Bruce your Dad?"

"Yeah, but Alfred's the boss," Jason said. He reached across the table to tap Tim on the nose. "Settle down, sport. You're scaring the children."

Tim swat at Jason's hand. "Jason, don't touch my face!" He took a deep breath, then put his phone back down. "But fine, I'll stop. Still. Daniel Mockridge must be the worst CEO of a gaming company alive."

"Of course he is," Ellen huffed. "He fired my Dad! And even when Dad still worked there, Mockridge treated him like shit! One time when I was in second grade, my Mom took me over to Dad's office to visit him. Mockridge was there, insulting my Dad's outfit! And then he hit on Mom right in front of him! I mean, they weren't together anymore, but still! Who does that?"

"I think we can all agree that this Mockridge guy is a jerk," Barbara said. "What I'm curious about is why he's coming up now."

Ellen crossed her arms. "Competitron owns the theme park we're going to next week. I heard Dad talking with Penny and Uncle Jon about it the other night. He thinks Mockridge is gonna be at the park." Her eyes narrowed. "If that jerk tries anything with my Dad, I'll beat his ass!"

"Ellen, in the first place, you don't know that Mockridge is going to be there. In the second, there is no way you're going to get away with beating up the CEO of a major corporation, even if he is a jerk," Barbara said.

"Barbara's right," Duela said. "If we want to get back at Mockridge, we're going to have to be a little more creative."

Now Barbara narrowed her eyes. "Not even remotely what I meant, Duela."

Dick raised his hands. "Hey, whatever you get up to, leave us out of it. Barbara and I are going to the beach next Friday."

"And Roy and I will be stuck with Coach Numbnuts," Jason moped.

"It's alright, Jay," Roy said. "I've already got some ideas on how to make our time with him and Lonnie very special." He and Jason then began to cackle.

Barbara rolled her eyes. Stephanie gave a worried look at Duke and Cassandra. "You two think you'll be able to manage being on campus with these two next week?"

Cassandra merely shrugged, while Duke gulped. "That's a loaded question Steph. You think you'll be OK on the trip?" He gestured to Ellen and Duela, who were whispering something to each other.

Stephanie bit her lip. "I'll manage."

Barbara sniffed. "I am so glad I'm graduating in three weeks."

[pcfricker]

Fallout 76

Sooooooo Fallout 76 came out yesterday, which I would’ve liked to have been playing till midnight out of sheer excitement. That is, if it wasn’t mired with so many technical bugs and other irritations that would make it more of a chore than a joy to play. I haven’t actually played it yet, but from what I’ve been hearing I don’t think I want to. This is gonna be mostly hearsay, but it’s my rant post and I’m feeling motivated tonight so here I go.

I had learned my lesson from the rather lukewarm release of Fo4 and tried my best to not get too excited about it. Overall, I did keep a level head from the time it was announced ‘till the day it launched but I did still have an optimistic outlook about it. Even when it was confirmed to be online only multiplayer with no NPCs, I still had some hope for it cause I was ready to rock ‘n roll with some friends in the wastes. The online part actually got me even more excited because I could finally team up with some of my friends and explore the wastes together. We even had our roles all picked out and everything. One of us was gonna be the builder/weapon smith, one was gonna be our sneaky sniper, and then I was gonna be the tank of the group in my kickass power armor. We all exchanged words about how much we were looking forward to it. Knowing what I know now, I feel almost a little bit betrayed by how the game turned out.

As the release day grew closer and closer, more information about the game’s shortcomings came to light. Reports from the B.E.T.A. event that a lot of people went to in WV left most with a positive impression, but when the public got into the B.E.T.A. more issues began cropping up. From frame dips, to glitches, the game’s core workings, or lack thereof rather, started to become apparent.

Just a few days before release, everyone learned that there was also a really big security concern that someone on reddit brought up. This is where my hope begane to waiver. Most of the game’s functions like player health, stats, and lots of other important information wasn’t being checked by the servers to verify that nothing had been changed. You could literally open up a file and change your health so that your character could be effectively un-killable, or you could even give yourself boatloads of caps and buy anything you could ever want.

Not only that, information was sent to the servers in plaintext format which meant that anyone could run wireshark to skim information about who was connected to your particular server. Do I also need to mention that there are microstransactions in this game too? Yeah, I’m sure you can see where I’m going with that. So after all the bragging they did about how effective their anti-griefing system was, they basically left the keys to the mansion under the rug for people to abuse however they saw fit.

As for the glitches I mentioned earlier, don’t worry. Bethesda Game Studios has got you covered in the only way they know how. Their game still uses their antiquated Creation Engine, which was based off the already unsteady Gamebryo engine from Oblivion, which over the years has been patched and stitched together to work for a newer generation of games. Even Fo4 used it, and while still graphically impressive for the Fallout series as a whole, when compared to other games from that generation it still looked dated.

From frame dips, animation errors, and flat out freezing/crashing, 76 lays bear all the faults of Bethesda’s clunky engine. The reason Fo4 was at least liked despite it’s short comings was because it has enough substance that one could still have enough fun to overlook them. 76 has no such luxury. From the get go, you’re walking into this vast empty world with the only things to keep you company, outside of friends to play with, is the robots and mutated creatures of WV. The main story itself is just you following around the ghosts of people who have long since been dead.

I know I said the lack of NPCs didn’t really bother me, but now that I’m thinking about story progression it really does rub me the wrong way. I don’t want to go around cleaning up after people that have been dead for years before I stumbled across their corpse. If it were me, I would’ve taken a moment to feel bad for them and then move on with my hecking life. Why should I make his former problems mine? I’d much rather have someone come running up to me begging for me to help defend his home from a super mutant attack. I want to feel like I’m actually making a damn difference in this damn apocalypse, not clean up after dead people. Anyways, back to the bugs.

V.A.T.S. is just a dreadful mess. The percentages are constantly changing from 95% to 0% in half a second, which is hardly helpful. You’d be better off just manually aiming because at least then you could at least hit them reliably. This is one of the more egregious examples of a poor implementation that is a staple in the series. I could go on with the bugs, but its 12:30 right now and I want to sleep. So I want to get on to the final reason why 76 is so frustrating.

Bethesda is lazy, pure and simple. I’m not saying the employees are lazy, I’m looking at the people at the top making the decision to continue using old, buggy code that should’ve been overhauled *years* ago. They’ve had more than enough time to sort this shit out, but they didn’t because they wanted to get this game to market as fast as possible to capitalize on the “live service” train. Well it’s biting them in the ass now ‘cause their lack of experience and overall ineptitude is more apparent now than ever. They are falling behind in an area where they used to be the leader in, chasing after trends they used to set. Their continued use of their Creation Engine is going to be their downfall unless they give it a much needed tune-up, which it’s needed since Fo3.

It’s this very reason that no matter how much new content they add to it, it’s never going to be the game I and so many others wanted it to be. It’s going to take nothing short of a complete overhaul of the game in order to even have a hope of coming close to something like that. Which won’t happen, everyone knows it. Even if that does happen, the question still remains as to how many people were overworked to the point of mental, physical, and emotional breakdown in order to achieve that goal.

I’m willing to give Bethesda one more chance, because if they pull their head out their ass and get their shit together I think they can make great games again. As for Fallout 76, I refuse to support the behavior it represents.

[slapegg]

Quick Critique: Dead Rising 4

I really like Dead Rising 1, but I like it despite its mechanics. The timers made the game tedious and took away exploration, leading survivors was a pain in the butt because the AI was pitiful and they were so weak, you were expected to start the game over and over again to build up stats, and it was chock full of inventory management and weapon degradation. So hearing that DR4 got rid of some of that, I was in. Also, it's a horror game set during Christmas. I'm... kind of super into that. I think I'm one of five people that genuinely has positive feelings towards Blue Stinger and totally want to see a fixed up modern version of that game and was hoping Dead Rising 4 would fill that void.

From the very beginning, my experiences with DR4 were not great. I installed the disk, downloaded the patch, downloaded the extra content (because that wasn't on the disk for some reason despite that being a selling point of the PS4 version), started it up, and... you're stuck on the title screen unable to enter any mode because it's “Downloading...”. Downloading what, I have no idea. Then the bar just kind of hangs there for several minutes, so I thought something was wrong, minimized it, went off to do something else, came back, and the download bar hadn't progressed. I uninstalled everything, installed the disk again, cut the network connection so the system wouldn't try to download any updates, and... got the same “Downloading...” screen. After looking it up online, you find a lot of people complaining about how slot it is to install the game and how it doesn't seem to download anything while minimized. So several hours into trying to play the game, the best I have seen is the title screen and options menus. The “Downloadable Content” button that's supposed to launch the store doesn't even work and pops up an error, even though I can load the store just fine from outside the game. After leaving the game running on the title screen for some time, I was finally able to play.

They changed Frank. He's no longer a kind of schlubby every-man. He's just a generic dude that's off-putting in how abrasive he is. Original Frank was a lovable dick. New Frank is kind of just a dick. A dick that despite what he's been through in the previous games and this one, is willing to abandon a civilian that helped him and leave her group of injured people in danger for no good reason. That follows through for all of the characters in the game. The other main character is detestable and not a single one of the side characters is likable. The whole game feels like a half-assed reboot. They should have either made it more unique and set it somewhere completely different and not tied to the first three games or done a full reboot. What you get is something that recycles the plot of the main game and many of the same beats, a worse version of the same character, and a worse location, but with nothing really interesting to set it apart. There are dozens of things to collect in the chapters, but movement isn't fun, combat isn't fun, and making your way through the maps isn't fun, so they created a semi-open world that you just don't want to be a part of. It has a more modern (and rather good to its credit) upgrade system, but that's the only hint of modernity on display. It's so clunky and poorly put together that it feels like a game made ten years ago. Frank constantly gets caught on objects, can sometimes climb objects but other times can't, gets caught in animations, can't interact with something you're right in front of but if you turn around and walk away then you can open it, sometimes just can't walk forward, and has a bizarre turning radius. There were times I found myself having fun (mostly seeing how high I could get my combo counter while driving through hoards of zombies or playing with explosives) only to smack into getting caught on something or stumbling into a situation that almost instantly kills you or the controls not working or any of a number of other problems and it all came crashing down. Frank's camera is now a Metroid Prime style scanner and you get missions to scan things but it's super finicky and gives you the most useless feedback on trying to hunt down which object it wants you to scan.

The core gameplay leans heavier into the Dynasty Warriors style button mashing. There can be hundreds of basic zombies on screen, but they're never interesting or fun to fight. Every encounter with the evolved zombies plays out the same way and every military fight just has you constantly rolling towards whatever enemy is shooting you the most. There is sooo much gun play in this one. Ranged enemies are ludicrously powerful and humans are ridiculously resilient (like taking multiple RPGs, having to run over a person five or six times, punching them several times while wearing a mech suit, and hitting them with an axe while wearing a mech suit only to have them stand back up levels of resilient). It's just not fun and Dead Rising should not be a third person shooter, especially one this bad.  DR4 has the same tedious inventory management and weapons breaking, but the game is super finicky about picking things up so restocking is a pain.

It's also rather buggy. Watching enemies warp in and out of cover, fly through the air, or rapidly change position like you were playing a laggy online game is a common sight. A boss glitched out on me and I spent 15 minutes trying to follow the game's instructions on how to hurt it before giving up, looking up a video walkthrough, and then realized the boss was stuck in the level so I couldn't kill him and had to restart from the checkpoint and do the entire fight all over again. I had the same thing happen a few times with enemies that were part of missions, but they thankfully were never mission critical so I could just leave trapped and twitching in parts of the level. Multiple times, I had cutscenes fail to load so I was stuck on a black screen. If you mash the buttons on your controller, it eventually loads.

The PS4 version includes the DLC that at least makes things different, making you immune to zombies and giving you powers, but then it takes that away from you, imposes a strict time limit, makes you vulnerable to zombies again, takes away the ability to drive, and locks upgrades behind godawful side quests and challenges. Dead Rising should be the Saints Row to Resident Evil's GTA. I want the wacky, fun zombie game that makes me overpowered and opts for the “make the game more fun for the player” choice every time. Give me unbreakable weapons. Give me a better inventory. Let me have dumb fun and experiment with ways to amuse myself with the zombie crowds and playing around in the mall. As it stands now, it's not scary enough to be a horror game, it's not funny enough to be a comedy, and the controls, missions, and world aren't good enough for it to be a competent action game.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 28 - NJD - Birthday Wish

7-1 Win

The Buffalo Sabres are normally on the receiving end of tremendous beatings, at least for the last decade or so. Last night we got a rare taste of what it was like destroying a team by a lacrosse score line. It was something else. Less than seven minutes into the first period it was probably over. I was thinking about the future of several players careers… Devils players! The consensus on Sabres twitter seems to be this game came at just the right time. This club had the roughest of Novembers but had the points in the bank from October to make up the difference. They spent all those savings and as Thanksgiving came and went they began to find their footing again. After a promising home-and-home with the Leafs a convincing win to solidify the gains of a decent stretch of games was needed. A convincing win that was in fact a win in regulation against a team you should handle. New Jersey came knocking asking if we remembered the Home Opener. Whether it was the 50th Anniversary jerseys or 1970s figures present at the game that jogged their memory, the Buffalo Sabres remembered. That game, the second one of this season, was a rout. But this rout makes that rout look like herding cats. When I said this game was over in seven minutes earlier, I mean it was pretty well over in seven minutes. But before we pile on the Devils I thought I’d share with you some thoughts I had about some great players on their roster whom this game made me feel for. Will Butcher: you passed up Buffalo for what you thought would be better. It was for a time but here we are. PK Subban: I love you bud… but this game showed that scary trend is real. Your advanced numbers are garbage, I hope your next destination helps out. Wayne Simmons: Dude, please don’t retire after this. You deserve better than this awfulness. Taylor Hall: well… huh… we both know you’re not going back to Edmonton. When you go win a Cup with Colorado this June please don’t pass the Cup to Nazem Kadri or Nikita Zadorov. For some reason Sabres twitter loves to roast itself during that part of the Final and those two guys minus well be BBQ Chefs. Let’s get down to business.

The Buffalo Sabres came out aggressive. Yeah, I say that a lot here in the second paragraph of postgame; but this time the New Jersey Devils also came out aggressive, AGGRESSIVELY BAD! The Sabres had two goals before the Devils had a shot on goal. That’s right: let me clear my throat played twice before Linus Ullmark was even tested. To be exact the shots were 3-0 Buffalo five minutes in and that was good for a 2-0 lead. Unreal, right? The first goal was right after a Sabres powerplay ended and Jack Eichel was all alone in front of Louis Dominque and just tapped it against the guys pads. It trickled in and everyone was surprised. Hardly two minutes later New Jersey just could not make a clean zone exit and Jeff Skinner had the puck one-on-one with a now annoyed Dominque. Skinner tucked it in far side with a quick little slapper and there are your two goals against zero shots. Up next, not even two minutes later, Jeff Skinner’s third or… whatever non-numbered line we’re calling it, hauling Larsson and Sheary behind like a Christmas tree on a punch buggy mind you, pull off a goal you are more likely to see in the All Star game when all the guys are just trying trick shots they joked about in college then in a real NHL game. Jeff Skinner skates into the zone backwards with speed because the Devils did not know what they were doing in their own zone and crosses the gut of the ice like a figure skater to shoot the puck backwards at the net. That shot didn’t go in because this isn’t a video game, Jeff. However Louis Dominque blocked it with a pad and the resulting rebound was punched in by a Conor Sheary halfway onto his ass. It’s now 3-0 and I think this was the part where Dominque got pulled. No that wasn’t until the first intermission.

After goal three John Hynes and the Devils coaching staff took a time out to try and stop the bleeding. They did for a little bit. It was about ten minutes later when the Devils had finally figured out this shots on net thing but were still giving up D-Zone turnovers juicer than a holiday ham. Conor Sheary just takes a pot shot from a shite angle and Dominque gets his stick glove on it sending it up in the air. Carter Hutton must have watched this play on the bench thinking he’s not alone anymore. The puck goes straight up, and Dominque even watches a little bit of it’s hangtime. Then it just lands in the goal behind him like a letter delivered by a carrier pigeon. What a game already: its 4-0. Sheary skates the bench in celebrating with a “Idk, it just went in” look on his face. All you Monday night folks who paid for the cheapest Sabres tickets of the season so far got your money’s worth and more. But wait, there’s more! We’re in the last minute of the first period. Folks are filing up the stairs to get to the pisser before others and what happens. Casey Mittelstadt just dumps a puck off to Rasmus Asplund in the offensive zone and Asplund just goes “whatever” and one times it like he’s friggin Alex Ovechkin. It went in: 5-0 because this was Buffalo’s night evidently. That was Asplund’s first NHL goal. The kid who just got called up because of injuries and looked like an NHLer gets rewarded faster than maybe any other recent callup. And so the first period ends… *laughs in disbelief* 5-0 Buffalo.

This game was Founders Night. They had family of the Knox Brothers, the founders of the franchise, in attendance for a pregame ceremony. Apparently there was a giant birthday cake and birthday guard. Fun trivia: 50 Years ago on December 2nd the NHL formally granted Buffalo an expansion franchise. The club wouldn’t get named the Sabres for a little over five months but that’s a birthday even if there wasn’t a name. Perhaps the birthday wish was for lots of goals because 5-0 in the first period was not the end by a longshot. Three minutes into the second period PK Subban and Colin Miller have a little spat and the resulting penalties make it 4-on-4. I don’t know how to put this for children: Victor Olofsson sent a puck to heaven. Olofsson unleashed a slapshot that may soon be outlawed by the Geneva Conventions. The broadcast team didn’t know it went in until the horn went off. Ben Mathewson did a 60 frames per second (fps) replay of the goal and there isn’t really more than a couple frames between the slapshot and McKenzie Blackwood realizing the puck had gone in. It was the hardest goal any Sabre has shot this season. 6-0 Sabres and I really want to apologize to the Devils fans in attendance. This had to be embarrassing. I am so sorry. It wouldn’t be a shutout though guys. Zemgus Girgensons got called for tripping and New Jersey made the most of the powerplay when Nico Hischier sauced in a rebound past Linus Ullmark. 6-1 Sabres, the shutout is gone but the Devils are still angry evidently: Casey Mittelstadt is tripped by Kyle Palmieri, the ref blows it against him and before Mittelstadt is up Palmieri launches the puck at him in a temper tantrum. Mind you the Devils are now out-shooting the Sabres 2 to 1 but the Sabres are locking it down. This was the performance we needed. This was our birthday wish for the Sabres. The Sabres made Palmieri and the Devils pay for that trip and Henri Jokiharju fired a laser from the blue line to make it 7-1 for the home team. At this point we just crossed the halfway point of the game. Buffalo has scored a touchdown and Josh Allen didn’t even throw for it. This game was so good 71-year-old Mike Robitaille was telling 51-year-old Rob Ray that advanced stats are just splendid on the broadcast. It was a savagely beautiful disarming of the trap Ray had set. The Sabres were dunking on the Devils and Boomers were dunking on Boomers about advanced stats. This was such a wildly fun game we’re going to look back on it in two weeks and think it was some collective dream we had.

And it seemed meant to be like some kind of fairy tale! The third period had its scary moments, a couple Devils powerplays and a handful of defensive lapses for the home team but the end result never really seemed in question. Buffalo won in regulation 7-1. This game was everything. Jack Eichel’s point streak continues, he now has 38 points in 28 games on pace for a 111-point season. If he doesn’t make the all-star team we can rightfully conclude this league is rigged against Buffalo. Victor Olofsson probably deserves to go as well. Not only is he scoring at 5-on-5 now but he is leading the team in multi-point games; yes even more than Eichel. Friggin Johan Larsson had a career night: he got three points in a game, all on assists, for only the second time in his career. Think about every shocked or mother-of-god meme you got: that was this game. It was memeable! I can’t imagine they dominate like this every night but like, comment and share this blog to join the fun. Sabres After Dark returns Thursday night for a game in Calgary. I want some revenge for the Thanksgiving Eve myself but by that point my end-of-semester crunch week will be winding down, so I’ll probably settle for just some enjoyable sex puns. I got a pair of those oven mitts they gave away for the Thanksgiving Eve game, let’s hope the Sabres stay hot so I need them! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. I don’t think the Bills catch New England for the division but let’s just savor the fact they’re one game back and that such a scenario is a realistic possibility at all. Just enjoying being a fan, I don’t think they catch em either but I’m going to enjoy this well it lasts!

[localbizlift]

Snapchat will let you play as your Bitmoji in video games

Want your video game character to look just like you? Soon you’ll be able to scan an in-game code with Snapchat to play as your personalized Bitmoji avatar on PC, console, and mobile games. Today Snapchat announced is new Bitmoji For Games SDK that will let hand-selected partners integrate 3D Bitmoji as a replacement for their character skins. With support for Unity, Unreal, and the Play Canvas engine behind Snap’s new Bitmoji Party game inside Snapchat, the SDK should make it easy for developers to pipe in life-like avatars that give people a stronger emotional connection to the game.

“It’s kind of a no-brainer to bring Bitmoji into games. Games can be so much more engaging with you…in the game” Bitmoji co-founder Ba Blackstock tells me. “We’re adding an identity layer to gaming that has the potential to have a transformational effect on the industry.”

Snapchat has a massive opportunity to colonize the web — and the games ecosystem — with its Bitmoji instead of waiting for developers to make half-assed clones. Bitmoji is perhaps Snapchat’s most popular and enduring feature now that Stories and ephemeral messaging have been widely copied, with 330 million estimated downloads according to Sensor Tower. As I wrote in my feature piece on Snapchat’s new platform strategy, “To stop copycats, Snapchat shares itself”, every distributed instance of the company drives attention back to its original apps, and each partnership it establishes is one more ally in the fight against Facebook.

Snap’s New CMO

Snap’s new CMO Kenny Mitchell

As Snapchat moves into this new era of marketing itself through Bitmoji, today it also announced it’s hired a new CMO, Kenny Mitchell. He was formerly the VP of marketing at McDonald’s and the head of consumer engagement at Gatorade. Mitchell oversaw the sports drink’s Serena Wlliams tennis game that lived inside a Snapchat ad and saw an average of over 200 seconds of play time, and its viral Super Bowl augmented reality lens that let you dump a cooler of Gatorade on yourself.

“Kenny’s consumer marketing expertise and his deep understanding of our products will be a great combination for Snap” writes Snap CEO Evan Spiegel.

The company has seen many senior execs depart over the years due to clashes with Spiegel over leadership, so we’ll see if Mitchel sticks around. He’ll be spearheading Snap’s new marketing campaign to reactivate Android users frustrated by its buggy app and bring them back to its newly reengineered version. “I look forward to helping Evan and Snap continue to tell their story to people around the world, and working with my new colleagues as we define the future of the camera and self-expression” Mitchell writes.

Bitmoji, The Visual Identity Layer

Snap acquired Bitmoji parent Bitstrips in 2016 for just $64 million, propelling it to become a staple top 10 app. Snap launched its Snap Kit platform in June 2018, allowing developers to integrate Bitmoji into the keyboards of their apps like Tinder for use as chat stickers or 2D profile pics. And this month at Snap’s first Partner Summit, it launched partnerships to bring Bitmoji to the Venmo feed, Fitbit watch faces, and more. But now it will let 3D Bitmoji replace your in-game character head-to-toe.

For now, the SDK will be free to top developers chosen for the program from PC, Mac, Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo Switch, iOS, Android and other platforms. Surprisingly, most game devs just build their own avatar customization feature from scratch, but they’re typically focused on clothes and crazy hairstyles than fine-tuning a face that looks like your own. And while customized avatars are common in shooter games, Bitmoji could bring them to platform, racing, dancing, puzzle, fighting, and role-playing games too.

Bitmoji For games won’t be an open platform to ensure the brand isn’t misused. Blackstock explains that “You can look at what we’re doing with Bitmoji Kit where we have guidelines of best practices of how to use Bitmoji and not use Bitmoji. We’ll apply the same kinds of guidelines to gaming.” That might mean no extra graphically violent games, or anything in which players might revel in inflicting pain on a personalized avatar. But Fortnite, with its cartoony violence might be an ideal Bitmoji partner.

Snap’s global head of gaming partnerships John Imah says he could imagine using his Bitmoji in titles from Star Wars, Lego, Mario Kart, or Warcraft. Depending on how their models for characters, landscapes, and items work, developers may have to do some work to make BItmoji work gracefully. But Imah says when it can “There will be some modification on our end to make sure this works within their engine so we can make this process as seamless as possible for these developers.”

Users will design their avatar in the Bitmoji or Snapchat app, though there may be in-game customization options down the line. If users ask to import their Bitmoji, the game will show a QR Snapcode on screen that users can scan with the Snapchat camera. That authentication unlocks their Bitmoji to use as an avatar skin in the game. Suddenly, every quest, battle, and cutscene becomes about them, not some generic character.

Given Fortnite is earning hundreds of millions of dollars selling cosmetic upgrades, the inevitable question is whether Snap will start selling bonus outfits, items, or face options for Bitmoji. “It’s really early days for Bitmoji For Games. It’s something we’ll explore later down the road” Imah tells me. Imagine if kids could buy Supreme sweatshirts or fresh Nikes for their Bitmoji? That could be a lucrative new business for Snap that’s strengthened by each Bitmoji partnership, and at a time when it’s eager to boost revenue and cut losses as it aims for profitability.

Bitmoji For Games could cement Snapchat as the best way to visually represent yourself online without a photograph. As the darker sides of the Internet and human nature come into focus for the tech industry, we need more ways to both be ourselves while retaining privacy. Bitmoji could deliver the emotional connection of seeing yourself as the hero without the risks of exposing your true face.

To stop copycats, Snapchat shares itself

[pmsocialmedia]

Snapchat is bringing its Bitmoji avatars into video games

Want your video game character to look just like you? Soon you’ll be able to scan an in-game code with Snapchat to play as your personalized Bitmoji avatar on PC, console, and mobile games. Today Snapchat announced is new Bitmoji For Games SDK that will let hand-selected partners integrate 3D Bitmoji as a replacement for their character skins. With support for Unity, Unreal, and the Play Canvas engine behind Snap’s new Bitmoji Party game inside Snapchat, the SDK should make it easy for developers to pipe in life-like avatars that give people a stronger emotional connection to the game.

“It’s kind of a no-brainer to bring Bitmoji into games. Games can be so much more engaging with you…in the game” Bitmoji co-founder Ba Blackstock tells me. “We’re adding an identity layer to gaming that has the potential to have a transformational effect on the industry.”

Snapchat has a massive opportunity to colonize the web — and the games ecosystem — with its Bitmoji instead of waiting for developers to make half-assed clones. Bitmoji is perhaps Snapchat’s most popular and enduring feature now that Stories and ephemeral messaging have been widely copied. As I wrote in my feature piece on Snapchat’s new platform strategy, “To stop copycats, Snapchat shares itself”, every distributed instance of the company drives attention back to its original apps, and each partnership it establishes is one more ally in the fight against Facebook.

As Snapchat moves into this new era of marketing itself through Bitmoji, today it also announced it’s hired a new CMO, Kenny Mitchell. He was formerly the VP of marketing at McDonald’s and the head of consumer engagement at Gatorade. Mitchell oversaw the sports drink’s Serena Wlliams tennis game that lived inside a Snapchat ad and saw an average of over 200 seconds of play time, and its viral Super Bowl augmented reality lens that let you dump a cooler of Gatorade on yourself.

“Kenny’s consumer marketing expertise and his deep understanding of our products will be a great combination for Snap” writes Snap CEO Evan Spiegel. The company has seen many senior execs depart over the years due to clashes with Spiegel over leadership, so we’ll see if Mitchel sticks around. He’ll be spearheading Snap’s new marketing campaign to reactivate Android users frustrated by its buggy app and bring them back to its newly reengineered version. “I look forward to helping Evan and Snap continue to tell their story to people around the world, and working with my new colleagues as we define the future of the camera and self-expression” Mitchell writes.

Bitmoji, The Visual Identity Layer

Snap acquired Bitmoji parent Bitstrips in 2016 for just $64 million, propelling it to become a staple top 10 app. Snap launched its Snap Kit platform in June 2018, allowing developers to integrate Bitmoji into the keyboards of their apps like Tinder for use as chat stickers or 2D profile pics. And this month at Snap’s first Partner Summit, it launched partnerships to bring Bitmoji to the Venmo feed, Fitbit watch faces, and more. But now it will let 3D Bitmoji replace your in-game character head-to-toe.

For now, the SDK will be free to top developers chosen for the program from PC, Mac, Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo Switch, iOS, Android and other platforms. Surprisingly, most game devs just build their own avatar customization feature from scratch, but it’s typically focused on clothes and crazy hairstyles than fine-tuning a face that looks like your own.

Bitmoji For games won’t be an open platform to ensure the brand isn’t misused. Blackstock explains that “You can look at what we’re doing with Bitmoji Kit where we have guidelines of best practices of how to use Bitmoji and not use Bitmoji. We’ll apply the same kinds of guidelines to gaming.” That might mean no extra graphically violent games, or anything in which players might revel in inflicting pain on a personalized avatar. But Fortnite, with its cartoony violence might be an ideal Bitmoji partner.

Snap’s global head of gaming partnerships John Imah says he could imagine using his Bitmoji in titles from Star Wars, Lego, Mario Kart, or Warcraft. Depending on how their models for characters, landscapes, and items work, developers may have to do some work to make BItmoji work gracefully. But Imah says when it can “There will be some modification on our end to make sure this works within their engine so we can make this process as seamless as possible for these developers.”

Users will design their avatar in the Bitmoji or Snapchat app, though there may be in-game customization options down the line. If users ask to import their Bitmoji, the game will show a QR Snapcode on screen that users can scan with the Snapchat camera. That authentication unlocks their Bitmoji to use as an avatar skin in the game. Suddenly, every quest, battle, and cutscene becomes about them, not some generic character.

Given Fortnite is earning hundreds of millions of dollars selling cosmetic upgrades, the inevitable question is whether Snap will start selling bonus outfits, items, or face options for Bitmoji. “It’s really early days for Bitmoji For Games. It’s something we’ll explore later down the road” Imah tells me. That could be a lucrative new business for Snap that’s strengthened by each Bitmoji partnership, and at a time when it’s eager to boost revenue and cut losses as it aims for profitability.

Bitmoji For Games could cement Snapchat as the best way to visually represent yourself online without a photograph. As the darker sides of the Internet and human nature come into focus for the tech industry, we need more ways to both be ourselves while retaining privacy. Bitmoji could deliver the emotional connection of seeing yourself as the hero without the risks of exposing your true face.

To stop copycats, Snapchat shares itself

via Social – TechCrunch https://tcrn.ch/2W1LlX2