#the human-object singularity

[smile-files]

goldie and bowl receive exposition they already know

(objectober 2024 day 27: recovery)

[the-human-object-singularity]

where we are today

once upon a time, in the not-too-distant past, the world was under the reign of an animal species called homo sapiens sapiens: the human. these creatures, despite having few physical specialties like claws, fins, or wings, had incredible intelligence, and turned their sparkling minds into a force to be reckoned with: they had the ability to create and destroy at will. they were almost like gods.

but they were not gods, even if many of them thought themselves to be; no, unlike gods, they each had a soul.

like any other animal, each human would be born with an empty glowing sphere which would be filled with the individual's personality, interests, relationships, memories, values, identity, and other such things as they learned, grew, and lived: it would turn from transparent to colorful. at the end of their days, a human's organic body would die, and their soul would drift into the expanse of heaven: its contents, its color, would be removed (perhaps it is stored somewhere), and the now-empty soul would be recycled for a newly-born life.

these humans had lots of power, among them the power to live long, fulfilling, love-filled lives; unfortunately, because of structures they imposed on themselves, many lives were cut short by cruelty, and many were full of suffering and anguish. some say that humans were always going to stoop to selfishness, to hurt and steal and kill, as it is their nature; the much sadder truth, however, is that they had so much potential to be kind, to make the world beautiful… but they failed to live up to it. they failed themselves.

many humans longed for a better world; they dreamed of a utopia, a place where people could live freely and happily and together, where they can sing and play and frolic in the great green of earth's heaven. they didn't want the world to go on like it had been anymore. but could their dream become a reality? or had their species broken the world, and themselves, too much for things to be fixed?

perhaps, if every human paused their human lives, for just a moment… if they just sat and thought and looked at the world, for just a single moment… they could listen to the world, how it hums. the same tune that their fragile hearts sing, from deep within their bony chests. without all the noise of themselves, humans could come together and see the world, and themselves, for how it truly is. but humans are a rube goldberg machine; there is always something moving. how could any human put it all on hold?

nobody knows. but somebody must've pressed the pause button.

not long ago, a mysterious event transpired: every human being on earth died, all at once, leaving not a trace.

this might seem horrific -- and yes, it was scary, disorienting, earth-shaking -- but more than anything, it was enlightening. this phenomenon came to be known as "the human-object singularity".

at the singularity, the body surrounding each human soul suddenly disappeared, leaving each colorful orb to travel aimlessly through space. under normal circumstances, each soul would go straight to heaven -- but these were not normal circumstances.

the souls, glowing their rainbow light, unconsciously drifted, like sleepwalking through air, looking for their human bodies: they could not find them. at the end of three days, each soul imbued itself in whatever object was nearby. each individual retained every mental characteristic they had before, though lacked a human body: they now possessed a body of abiotic, and likely man-made, material. when they awoke, wherever their souls' wanderings had led them, and whatever body they now inhabited, they had to come face to face with a new world.

these now-sentient inanimate objects, with no biology to their forms, did not need air to breathe, or food to eat, or water to drink; in addition, given the circumstances, any destruction ("death") an individual faced would not lead to their soul's ascent to heaven and subsequent emptying -- it would just float for three days, as before, and enter a new inanimate vessel. their mind and heart would stay the same, just in a different place and different body.

everyone was now effectively immortal.

now, what do you do if you cannot die, and you cannot hunger or thirst or grow ill? what do you do with your time? do you spend it fighting, like the humans had done in their prime? certainly not over resources; if you do fight, it is over trivial things -- like football, or other silly competitions. it's all for fun.

across the globe, country and economy soon faded to nothing, as did property and war; greed does not last long in an infinite world. no, the world became everyone's playground: let's explore, let's do something stupid, let's pick up a new hobby, let's build an invention, let's meet new people, let's ask questions and maybe try to answer them, let's play pretend, let's count the stars and make up new numbers to count them all.

the world was now full of water bottles and screwdrivers, puzzle pieces and belt buckles, all weaving between the flora and fauna as they learned to truly love the garden of eden they'd never known to love.

of course, as fear began to fizzle, many objects ended up destroyed in their carefree escapades; a friend could often try and guide the soul into a nearby object, and perhaps a similar one to the one before, but it wasn't a perfect process. some embraced the entropy; others were unnerved by it.

since the singularity occurred, scientists from all around the globe began investigating what had flipped humanity around, and were particularly taken to analyzing the soul. after several exciting years, they created the soul ID system, with which a soul, its previous bodies, and its location can all be identified. once their technology was fully developed, these researchers began creating recovery centers: these futuristic containers could hold a soul, identify it, and fast-order a replacement object to be teleported to it for a new body (with all of the time and curiosity in the world, it is no wonder that teleportation would also be developed by this time).

suffice it to say, that in this current age of objects, "humans" are happier than ever. they are inventing new games to play, and forming new connections with one another. no longer human, their humanity truly bursts forth.

but every so often, one object turns to the other, and asks, "who made this happen? who are we to thank?"

perhaps it doesn't answer the question, yet it is answer enough: "each other. for realizing what this could mean for us."

and they fall silent once more, as any inanimate object would in older days -- but thinking. breathing. living.

[saturday-byte]

Maaaaaaybe digital kiss? (On lips)

They don't have lips tho .....

(reblogs > likes !!)

[gofancyninjaworld]

The difference between 'monsters' and monsters in OPM

@garoumylove has been posting some interesting meta on Garou and monsters (please go check their posts out! 1 and 2 ). I was pondering what was the essential difference between the way Garou understood monsters and what they actually were in the story, and I think I've hit on it.

The metaphorical monsters that Garou identifies with and the way people talk about being seen as a monster as a stand-in for being seen as socially unacceptable is Outside-In. It's society's opinion of you as not-ok, regardless of how you see yourself.

Actual monsters, by which I mean the transformed, used-to-be-human monsters in OPM are Inside-Out. Regardless of how they're seen by society, the person WANTS TO RENOUNCE THEIR HUMANITY and does so. It's not about being in a bad mood, being an outlaw (there are many criminals in OPM who haven't the slightest intention of becoming monsters, and good people who do), or even having strong interests.

Definitely, if you are hard done by others, it's easier to monsterize, but it's not a guarantee. I loved the way Bakuzan -- by all accounts, a highly successful, well-regarded person -- avidly consumed monster cells as he'd long been jealous of Suiryu.

No matter what other people say about you, no matter how bullied, cheated, or discriminated against you are; no matter what laws you've broken or crimes you've committed; no matter how angry or broken or depressed or confused you feel, only you can make yourself a monster.

The question that the story of OPM hasn't answered in full yet is: what does it mean to renounce one's humanity?

[archvaxe]

Humans can be horrible, No?

Bayonetta/Kirby Crossover

Two beings, once trapped by humans, tell each other how stupid humans can be. In the end, they drink cocoa together and destroy thousands of worlds in the process.

[quietwingsinthesky]

at some point i am going to have to force even to go back and deal with donna & tentoo & rose & all and everything they ran away from. and that will probably involve them losing tentoo’s chameleon arch watch by giving it back to its rightful owner, whether she chooses to open it or not. and that is. not going to be a very fun or stable time for them.

[hyenaboycunt]

Genuinely hilarious to me that there are some older kinksters I know who can use it/its pronouns no problem but trip over their own tongues if they try to use they/them.

[saintkevorkian]

does anyone disagree that 'terf' is deliberately homophonous with 'turf' which is something one treads on

why not say 'women's [contentious] opinions are beneath contempt' and have done with it

this also has a cute abbreviation: WoABC (the abc's of being marked)

[chatsukimi]

ᴘᴀɪɴᴛ & ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ

featuring: needy!gojosatoru, childhoodfriend!gojosatoru. precious. fluff!, minute jealousy synopsis: you put makeup on your childhood best friend. you learn that he is more than you anticipated. masterlist

you think you know everything about gojo satoru. you'd seen him as a child, two years younger than you, get scolded by his parents for sending a senile sorcerer to hospital. you were there when he first activated limitless and pummelled you accidentally in the face.

safe to say, nothing surprises you anymore. not even when he teleports into your room on the night of your date without even a knock and grabs you by the shoulders to turn you and your chair around.

"oi, stop that."

you strangle him off you. he only grins.

"sure thing." he shrugs, before bending down to inspect you more closely. "what have you got on your face?"

you put the bottle of setting spray down. "makeup."

he ruffles his tousled white hair, windblown. "ah? makeup. are you meeting someone?" he grins halfheartedly, scanning your room for any changes since you last met.

"i am."

"it's about time. i've already dated loads of people," he boasts, his eyes lingering on the powder and blush on the table.

you roll your eyes. "of course you have." you lay on the finishing touches to your face. you notice him watching.

rule one about gojo satoru, when he stares, he's interested. as you grew older, it became harder under those pitch black shades of his to detect where he's staring, but when he really wants something, it's obvious.

you lift a brush. "you want me to do makeup on you?"

he shakes his head.

rule two about satoru gojo, he never says what he's thinking.

you stand up, gesturing at the bed. "sit down." without a word, the boy listens to your command, ready to try something new.

you can't say you're unhappy to try doing makeup on him. you had some spare time left and that beautiful canvas of a face is nothing but to die for. putting makeup on him would be fun.

"i'll have to take off your glasses. may i?"

he sniffs.

rule three about gojo, he pretends to hate it when people ask to take his glasses off, but he secretly likes it. you know. it makes him feel seen, more human.

"do it yourself."

you nod.

taking his sunglasses off, you revel in the familiar ocean which faces you.

another two facts about satoru is that he can't keep still and he can't stop yapping. shaking his leg in tandem with the news from his mouth, the movement makes you shoot him a frustrated glare, distracted.

half to shut him up, the other half to make him pay attention, you grip his jaw in place. your eyes lock. soon enough, he'll probably look away to inspect some other object of interest; he's known you for years, after all. nothing new.

as you work, you think to yourself.

gojo... he's really grown up, hasn't he? in careful brushstrokes, you drag the eyeliner gently to form a wing with the tip of the pen. your eyes narrowed in concentration, you haven't noticed the shallow breath which tumbles from his mouth.

"pretty."

you blink.

gojo satoru scoots closer to you, so that his gorgeous azure eyes are inches from yours. they are widened in awe.

in all these years, you can count on one hand the number of times this genius has focused on anything longer than five-ten seconds. sure, going to jujutsu high has stretched that time out slightly, but it's nothing compared to this.

you know what rule one says about his behaviour, but you couldn't believe it.

he reaches up to brush the hair from your face. unblinking, unwavering, as though memorising everything, the outline of your nose to the singular dashes which form an eyelash, he stares at you.

it is the first step from a boy to a man.

"you are... really, really, pretty."

"says you," you say, almost pushing his hands away.

he sinks his fingers against yours, clasping them in a bone-tight grip.

"you are," he asserts. "how come i've never noticed?" he mutters, furious.

um. you turn to look the other way. the heat of his stare is scalding. nevertheless, the strongest refuses to back down.

"i should've noticed, shouldn't i? and now you're all dressed up with your make-up to meet some other guy." he pouts.

truth be told, you are silenced. this is not the gojo you recognise. in a swift move, he carries you from the vanity to the bed. the display of strength startles you.

"don't go," he whines into your shoulder, shifting you with his strong arms to nuzzle himself into your chest. you did so often when you were younger but-

"stay." he pauses, letting each syllable cascade from his beautiful lips like a bell, ringing crystal clear. "stay with me."

stay with him.

you think you know everything about gojo satoru. you remember the way he begged for a break amidst his pre-adolescent training sessions. you remember the empty hallways of the gojo estate and his silent footsteps, how they left him behind to carry the world on his shoulders.

awaiting your answer, gojo feels his heart beating out of his chest. what if you leave? what if you choose your date over him? what if-

"why?"

he stares up at you again. truly shameless.

"because i want you to." he turns stern. "or else, i'll tell your friend that you didn't actually have work that day you decided to ditch her little meet-up and i'll-"

out of nowhere, a laugh breaks out of you. he frowns.

but then, you press a soft kiss on his cheek, another one on the slope of his nose, which -truth be told- didn't need the contour you'd gracefully put on it, and the strongest sorcerer in the world relaxes to your touch.

moments like these, satoru still manages to surprise you.

"i'll stay."

"promise?" he holds up a pinkie.

"come on, satoru, we're not children anymore."

his eyebrows scrunch together so you finally relent.

"ok."

you link your pinkie to his.

"promise."

getting comfortable, you shoot a text at your friend to move the date to another day.

"i knew you'd stay. you can't stand when i throw a tantrum," he suddenly begins to mumble against your skin. your eyes widen. "i know you... better than anyone..." his eyelids are dragging under the weight of sleepiness.

perhaps you didn't know everything about satoru after all.

gojo opens his eyes, seeing you fully. "i know you can't stand me being alone."

perhaps he knew more about you than you had thought possible.

on second thoughts, you grab your phone from your bedside table, typing up a message you send without a second thought.

sorry. something came up. i might not be able to meet with you next week either. thank you for your patience, but i think i've found someone who i want to stick by forever.

[smile-files]

*note how the title should be something the hosts would reasonably come up with in-universe! in case you don't know, the tl;dr of the lore is that humans all turned into objects after a strange event and are now effectively immortal, breaking down a lot of society and returning people to play. the hosts, goldie and bowl, have decided to hold a fun competition show in an nyc park for folks to compete in; the prize is silly and insignificant (like bragging rights or a knickknack), so it's all just a fun way for people to spend their infinite time.

(i personally have a preference for "the world's first object show", especially since the acronym sounds like "two of us" when read aloud!! "battle for the foreseeable future" is also a fun name)

[ozzgin]

content: gender neutral reader, religious themes, blasphemy, NSFW, horror

Something is wrong with your beloved Angel, yet you cannot place the dreadful feeling in the depths of your stomach. Perhaps you weren't made to comprehend such divine truths.

5. Honour thy father and thy mother

It was birthed from the void of the Heavens. No parent governs over its will. No being controls its resolve.

Father...? The word rings and echoes across ancient times, forgotten eons. It does not remember its meaning. All it knows is you, and you are enough.

4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy

"Six days you shall labor, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord, your God." Of course. The law is clear, or at least it should be. Its mind navigates the meaning, suddenly engulfed by a mysterious haze.

Six days it labors, it serves, it worships. It exists for you, to please you and fulfill your desires. Your wish is its command.

Six days of creation. It has been molded just for you, to fit all the nooks and corners of your body and soul. You have taught it how to love, how to crave, how to need. It starves for your touch.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain

"Oh, God", you cry, clinging to the holy beast. It shivers in raw bliss, its many hands embracing your lewd body, drooling and panting in unquenchable desire. Its mind is possessed by one singular thought: to breed you, to own you, to fuck more profanities out of your pretty, little mouth.

The word swirls inside its head, baptized to a new sense: God is when you reach your peak, when you're within its voracious hold. Your trembling hands reach for the horns.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image

It yearns to create, to be the architect for once. Your home is littered in unfinished pieces: bizarre, geometrical paintings, abstract statues chiseled in most refined detail, music sheets of notes foreign to your human ears. All of them have something in common - it's how the Angel perceives you.

You fill up its senses, and the essence drips onto its works of art. It gathers the objects of worship together, like the outline of an altar, like an inviting chamber of prayer.

1 Thou shalt have no other gods before me

The abyssal creature bows before you, its many eyes devouring your form. The long, black claws reach out, like a beggar scraping its way out of the depths of ennui.

You're a blessing from the Heavens.

[Navigation] | [Ozztober Masterlist] | [First Half]

[serpentface]

The (now extinct) utosai, the last of the great lacetors.

Lacetors are a clade of warmblooded reptiles that fill niches as large grazers. The only genera surviving in the contemporary are relatively small (averaging about the size of cattle), but many older species grew bigger than elephants. Utosai were the last remaining members of this branch, dwindling towards extinction as their once vast grasslands experienced rapid desertification over a period of a mere few millenia, becoming the massive, mostly uninhabitable desert region colloquially known as the Deadlands.

They would historically live in herds consisting of one male, several (sometimes dozens of) females, and their associated young, which would migrate vast distances to follow seasonal rains. Males would fight each other to gain control of their mates or tempt away singular females, with young males roaming in bachelor herds. As reliable grasslands grew sparser, these herds grew much smaller, with the last remaining utosai being found largely as small bands of females and lone, wandering males that would opportunistically mate when they were lucky enough to find each other.

Utosai had very thick scaly skin that folds in plates, in part a vestigial defense mechanism against large predators that had LONG vanished. Like many other lacetor, they had partly bony facial pads that grew large and colorful in males as display features. Their tremendous curving horns served predominantly as additional display features, while the smaller, jutting horns partly figured into intraspecies combat, with males standing side by side and front to back and swinging these horns at each other in ritualized combat behavior.

These horns were clearly of value to the people who once inhabited the same ranges as utosai, as their ivory figured heavily into their craftwork and holy objects and can be found near-ubiquitously in the burials of high ranking people in the east interior Deadlands. These surviving utosai ivory artifacts are of tremendous value, with the mere prospect of obtaining them tempting many graverobbers and other such wealth-seekers into the remains of ancient human settlements (a mostly futile and often deadly task, most accessible tombs have already been plundered and those still left in peace are hidden deeply beneath the sands).

Utosai lasted far longer than many of their counterparts, surviving on (and trapped within) dwindling patches of coastal grassland fed by ocean rains, too isolated within stretches of desert for any chance of migration to grasslands further from the equator. These last fragmentary populations were discovered by traders and treasure seekers sponsored by the early 2nd Burri empire, with many hatchling utosai being taken back overseas hundreds of miles north. It is unknown when the last wild utosai died, but all but the tiniest fragments of their coastal grasslands are gone and the great beasts are nowhere to be found.

The captive animals were bred in Bur and eventually produced a relatively large (and heavily inbred) population, probably maxing out at around 1000 individuals. They were never truly domesticated but could be made tame and well accommodated to handling, which eventually developed into their use as mounts, forming an elite cavalry unit used in warfare. A war utosai was outfitted with a shielded tower upon its back from which archers could fire from height, and would be driven by a rider on its neck. Their use was functionally similar to irl war elephants, being utilized for intimidation, to scatter enemy formations, and to lead (or break) charges. These were the largest animals that most people would have ever seen, and were often reckoned as nigh-invulnerable. The utosai was heavily used in Bur's wars of conquest, and became an esteemed animal emblematic of the second Burri empire's might.

Very few consistently effective counters to the war utosai were discovered during the duration of their use. One very famous, very successful counter was used by the pre-Wardi Ephenni tribe in its war of independence against the second Burri empire (which was already beginning to collapse). The province of Ephennos was of key import to the empire as a breadbasket, being highly fertile lands and providing much of the grain that sustained the empire. A cavalry of ten utosai (a VERY excessive number against a less well-trained, less well-armed group of soldiers) was brought overseas to assist in crushing dissent and were devastating in battle, with only two of the ten being killed in three years of protracted warfare.

In an act of cleverness, desperation, or both, a trio of khait were covered in pitch and set ablaze, and spurred into hurtling towards the bulls in the utosai cavalry. The utosai panicked and fled, trampling many Burri soldiers in the process and utterly destroying their formations, with three of the eight utosai falling onto their sides (weighed down by their towers) and killed by Ephenni soldiers. This allowed for victory in battle, and this victory ultimately turned the tide in favor of the kingdom of Ephennos and its eventual independence. A motif of three khait wreathed in flames is still widely used in this region and as emblematic of Ephenni heritage (who, while broadly assimilated into Wardi nationality, still retain a sense of individual identity, and pride in their city-state being a center of power and birthplace of kings within Imperial Wardin).

The use of utosai in warfare dwindled after the discovery of this fairly effective counter. They were no longer reckoned as nearly invulnerable, and the great cost of transporting and feeding these animals became increasingly inviable. Captive breeding began to dwindle along with their use in warfare. The last utosai were lost, killed, or slowly died off in the Burri wilderness during and after the empire's tumultuous collapse. Some folklore describes hidden populations surviving in some wilder areas- there are several places in Bur where people claim to sometimes see the silhouettes of these great beasts against the horizon, and the rural parts of Ephennos are rumored to have a few of them (perhaps descendants of the surviving war utosai, perhaps their ghosts). Otherwise, they are lost to the world.

[rockatanskette]

So, I've written before about how our relationship with predators would probably intimidate aliens, but I just pictured another way we interact with predators that is honestly just as scary from an outside perspective: we pretend to be predators and even make up new ones, all just for fun.

Now, we also adopt predator patterns for utility: wearing striped makeup for camouflage, imitating roars and bird calls, etc. But I'm specifically talking about the video I just saw from Creature Bionics of creature rigs designed for a human actor to better do motion capture. I'm talking about voice actors and sound designers creating new and terrifying clicks and roars and growls because lions' roars just aren't scary enough. I'm talking about adults dressing up as plush monstrosities to entertain sports fans and children. Gritty is terrifying, objectively.

One day at an early meal, human Janet seems confused when her alien crewmates start asking about a shape-shifting monster that they keep seeing in human culture. They ask her what it's like to live on a world with "dogjons;" animals that can shift from a fan-headed creature with eye-covered wings to an amphibious eel-like figure, humanoid but not human, to a death-pale monstrosity that chases anyone who dares get near its food. Human Janet is confused until they say that the pale figure has eyes in its hands; bloodshot, and glassy.

"Oh, Doug Jones! No, he's not a monster, he's just a really good actor. Too good—the Shape of Water awakened something in me, specifically."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's just say the lady 'mating' with him isn't a horror story, it's a fantasy." Human Janet says, like it's nothing. Then something seems to occur to her, and her eyes brighten with what the aliens are quickly learning is mischief. "Oh my god. Am I the one who gets to explain monster fucking?"

Elsewhere, an alien accompanies xis human friend on a day out with their young. There's some kind of show being put on for human youth and Xlibthar is excited for this insight into how humans get Like That. Imagine xis surprise when the lights go up on the entertainment platform and a horde of creatures rushes up. They are large and bright yellow, with big black eyes as dark as singularities, with bright red spots on their heads that clearly indicate venom. Xlibthar shrieks and shields xisself behind Akio and Hinata, sure that something has gone terribly wrong.

"What are those?!" Xlibthar demands, quaking in xis shoes.

"Those? Oh, they're just Pikachus." Akio does not seem even the slightest bit distressed, and five-year-old Hinata is absolutely losing her mind with excitement at the sight of these garish monstrosities.

"What. On Earth." Because this could only happen on Earth. "Is a Pikachu?"

"It's a Pocket Monster. It's a series about monsters that battle with each-other. Pikachu is a mouse that can shoot electricity out of its body."

Xlibthar stares at Akio, wondering if this is an example of what humans call "gaslighting," because keeping monsters in your pockets sounds too insane even for humans. And, "you bring these things around your CHILDREN??"

"I mean, they're not real." Akio puts his hands over Hinata's ears. "They're just people in costumes. Though Nintendo would never let you see one with its head off."

Xlibthar has many questions: why? What? How? What? But one question has been answered: if this is what entertains human youth, it is exactly why Humans are Like That.

[paymechildsupport]

' Eternally Yours ' // Ryomen Sukuna x M!Reader

̩̩̥͙ 　-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ+:ꔫ:﹤̩-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ⋆

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Sukuna's childhood best friend , -- his only friend, -- whom he'd known since his time as a human. Passing naturally through the progression of mortal aging, you'd been there since the beginning, back during a time otherwise blurry and buried deep within the furthest corners of his mind.

The only part of his time as a human that he would begrudgingly hold onto. You had always been there, -- you continued to be there, even when he had left everything human about himself behind. The only living evidence of his mortality, is vulnerability, - the only thing to escape the inferno that had left even his own heart into blackened ash.

You always saw the best in people, even in monsters like himself. He had never been a kind man, and he most certainly would never be a kind curse. But beneath that you always saw your friends: the same, young boy whom you met by the village riverside. Even now, as he's larger, broader, stronger, -- hungrier . . .

If his monstrous appearance, -- with his multitude of arms and extra eyes, -- ceased to perturb you,- then neither his malevolent, and oftentimes downright brutish nature nor his ... unseeming taste in cuisine quelled the love you held for the curse in your heart.

And you stayed, even when everyone left, you remained.

̩̩̥͙　-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ+:ꔫ:﹤̩-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ⋆ --------

Sukuna's childhood best friend , -- whom he'd held a forever affinity for. His bright smile and kind eyes, his stupidly handsome face, - and eyes Sukuna couldn't help but picture staring at him in the dead of night. The boy who'd seen everything, -- every single moment of weakness, of mortal insecurity, -- the singular piece of living evidence from a time Sukuna wished to eradicate , the one thing he couldn't bring himself to destroy.

The compassionate boy from his village, who'd offer him food whenever he needed it, a place to stay when it rained, who once gave the clothes off his back because he was cold.

The most talented person Sukuna knew, who taught him how to fire a bow, taught him how to wield a blade, and showed him how to cultivate his cursed energy into something magnificent.

The beautiful man who Sukuna was forever cursed to be reminded of, who's face haunted his dreams, who's voice echoed within his ears, who's very existence inked itself into every writing he made to paper. Pages upon pages of intimately inked strokes etched onto parchment, eternalizing every ounce of devotion shared between man and curse. The object of Sukuna's creative ego, the subject of a divine art, of poetry, written by the many hands of a god.

̩̩̥͙　-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ+:ꔫ:﹤̩-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ⋆ --------

Sukuna's childhood best friend , -- whom he'd grown inseparable with, the one person who he couldn't get rid of if he tried, -- one singular exception. No amount of mortal flesh could quell the all-consuming hunger he experienced. It ate Sukuna alive, it left him hollow, how much he needed him. Desired him. It was obsession, -- a desperate, violent obsession.

A King who seemed to have everything and yet nothing at all.

He could only lay awake at night, staring up at the infinite ceiling of the universe, counting the stars and imagining his face, hearing his laugh. It ached. The place that was suppose to be empty and hallow beated painfully , -- thrummed with emotion, with life.

He'd bring his fingers to his lips, wishing above all else they were yours. It was more than a simple carnal desire, He wanted your presence, your warmth. A god begging for the humble gaze of a human.

He was in love with his best friend.

̩̩̥͙　-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ+:ꔫ:﹤̩-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ⋆ --------

Sukuna's childhood best friend , -- who paid the price of a god's love. The one who never left, - but was taken from him. Stolen by other foolish mortals.

Left only with the hundreds of writings he dedicated so lovingly in your name, a vividly recorded memory, Sukuna set to burn everything down. With the one good thing left in his accursed life so unjustly ripped away, the only thing that remained was an inhuman hatred.

And everyone had to pay. If your life couldn't have been spared, he sure as hell wouldn't offer that mercy to anyone else. Because if you were gone, then no more innocents remained.

-----

̩̩̥͙　-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ+:ꔫ:﹤̩-•̩̩͙-ˏˋ⋆ --------

-----

Sukuna's childhood best friend , -- whom he desperately hoped, out of everyone, would be waiting for him. Who'd be walking around, alive, reborn with open arms. And if by some small, inconceivable notion of a chance you weren't, he'd drag you back from the Afterlife himself.

He just had to get out of this damned vessel first.

--------------

[A/N] This became a lot longer than I anticipated -

[vidavalor]

Life

I got out my opera glasses and went full Mr. Harmony lip reading here and I don't think the L word of Nina's that Crowley is mouthing at the end of the above scene is love.

I think it's life.

Earlier in the season, even before The Book of Life became the central concern of Crowley's plot and he then spent the week we watched with the ideas of life vs. existence on the brain? Crowley very notably used an unusual and interesting word to refer to what we would call his and Aziraphale's life together: existence.

Even as Crowley is using lovely words to describe his and Aziraphale's life together-- that it's *melts* precious and peaceful to him💘 -- he doesn't call it a life... he calls it an existence.

Why?

Because he's Fallen. Because he's damned. Because he's a demon who has been forcibly chained to Satan for all of eternity. He's metaphorically dead, even as he's alive. He feels he cannot actually offer Aziraphale a life because he feels that he doesn't have one to give.

Being damned means to Crowley that he's never, ever going to be free from Hell because that's his punishment. Does he long for that to be different? Absolutely. Is he an optimist and does he hope that maybe, one day, somehow, someway, it might change? Yes.

Is he also trying to be realistic about the likelihood of that after spending over six thousand years with no hope of change in sight? Yes. Is he a bit afraid to hope that it might because he doesn't want to deal with the crushing disappointment of never having it, if that's how it all turns out, so he just calls his life his existence to try to make it hurt less when he likely loses it down the line? Yes.

Is that basically the same thing as a certain angel not telling Crowley about a certain cottage in the South Downs because he's not sure if they can ever have this more free life together and he wouldn't want to crush Crowley more by having him know that there could have been a house that was just openly theirs, and not a bookshop covering up an embassy covering up a secret love den, if theirs is not a happy ending and they never get to go there together? Yes.

So, Crowley feels that if he is never going to be able to be free of Hell and he's never going to be able to forgiven from Heaven, he can't really make a life of his own because there is no guarantee that he can ever keep it. He's alive. He exists and he's living an existence and, deep down, he knows it's a life but he cannot call it one because he doesn't get to fully have what the humans do, not the way he would like. It's not for people like him. He wouldn't deign to call what he and Aziraphale have a life, even if other people might, if they knew about it, see it as one, because it's not good enough for him. It's an existence, carved out of just the best they can make work. They've made as close to one as they have been able to but it's an existence to Crowley because he doesn't have a free life of his own to ask Aziraphale to share.

Even though he really gave his heart away to Aziraphale a long time ago, Crowley can't let himself be Aziraphale's fully if he's Fallen because he's stuck belonging, on paper, to Satan, like all the other demons do. It's always "too late" for him because he is of Hell.

In his mind, he might have once had a chance but he fell and now, he's fucked, and, as a result, so are he and Aziraphale as a couple. Maybe there's some slim chance where they get to be together more than this but Crowley's been living this life for six millennia now and he's doubtful that it'll happen. He's an optimist but he's not really seeing a path to anything more than what they already give one another, which is everything they can.

So, it's not a life, it's an existence... and Aziraphale knows how Crowley feels about it. When Crowley referred to his life as his existence in 2.01, what Aziraphale objected to was not the word he used but that he made it singular as part of the argument.

Aziraphale didn't argue that it was their life, not Crowley's existence... he argued that it was their existence, together.

Why? Because Aziraphale just wants to be with Crowley and he's willing to view this as whatever Crowley wants to call it and whatever he can give him and make a world together around that. He knows they both try to give one another everything they can but they both wish they had more to offer one another. Aziraphale's own need to want to give Crowley peace and safety that Aziraphale feels he cannot offer him is what drives him in 2.06 to be tempted by an offer from Heaven that might allow him to do that, even if he knows it's likely a false promise and not the way forward.

He knows that, just as he feels he doesn't have enough to offer Crowley, Crowley feels the same way about him.

In 2.01, Aziraphale already knew Crowley thought of it as an existence because he felt he didn't have much else to offer Aziraphale, as he's not surprised by the word choice. Aziraphale has been willing to meet Crowley there and use Crowley's word for it and not insist that it was a life that they were carving out together because he could understand how Crowley would feel that it was more just any and everything they could give one another within the limits of their situation. They both accept the term existence because, to them, what they already have is likely going to be all that are ever able to be and they both know that they would like to be able to offer one another more.

The if we could, I would things that they likely talk about sometimes... waking up together and having breakfast... the little cottage by the sea with the big garden... marrying each other... are always, by necessity, pretty much relegated to romantic pillow talk daydreams, rather than real plans they could make, because Armageddon and possibly of losing one another for eternity is always looming on the horizon-- and that's only if they don't get caught and killed first.

It wouldn't be much different from what they already have, except that it'd also be completely different because they'd be free.

They'd be them as they already are, just openly.

So, when Nina tries to get Crowley to define his and Aziraphale's relationship using common terms of out humans in the year 2023...

Crowley can't do it.

Even if he knows that the term she used-- partner-- is not technically incorrect for what he and Aziraphale are to one another.

By the end of the season, Crowley doesn't object to Nina using partner to describe he and Aziraphale. When she and Maggie come back to the bookshop to talk to Crowley, Nina refers to Aziraphale when she says to Crowley: "you and your partner have been messing about in our lives." Crowley doesn't argue the point. He knows it's true and that's what he and Aziraphale are. He's always known that.

The difference between the partner-themed conversation with Nina in front of the coffee shop and the one in the bookshop is that, in the time between them, this happened:

For the first time, they weren't the only ones, and they thought that if they have friends who are like them, maybe they suddenly have a chance. Maybe some things might change. At the very least, it seemed pointless to Crowley after the Gabriel and Beez reveal to keep pretending that he and Aziraphale aren't a couple and, in letting Nina's definition in the bookshop scene of Aziraphale as Crowley's partner stand without objection, Crowley was showing that he felt that Nina saying that he and Aziraphale are partners is accurate.

Crowley's earlier conversation with Nina outside Give Me Coffee is really the first time he's ever had to answer the question of him and Aziraphale honestly in ages of sneaking around and he doesn't really know how to do it. He's used to it being a secret and he's supernatural and Nina doesn't know that so he doesn't know how to explain them to someone who isn't from that world. Nina looks at them and is trying to figure out where the hidden part is coming from and she theorizes an affair because that's a logical human response. How is Crowley supposed to explain that it's that he's a demon and this is a forbidden love affair that is probably going to end in tragic separation one day to a human woman who is just like so, how long have you boffing the bookseller?

How does he say look, listen, he's my entire world but I'm not allowed to have that world? If we were human like you are, we could be openly together. If there was no Heaven and no Hell, you wouldn't be asking me why you'd never seen me before and thought Aziraphale was single until a couple of days ago because I would have met you when you opened this business and there'd be a ring on my finger that would answer a lot of these questions for you.

He can't say that Aziraphale is his partner because people who are partners are openly making a life together and he doesn't have one to give Aziraphale to share with him. Is Aziraphale his partner in the rest of the way that Nina means? Yes. It's just not a word that Crowley feels then that he can use, even if it's the most accurate one, and one that he won't object to within a matter of days, when the circumstances begin to seem like they might be changing.

Yeah, when they flirt, as they were earlier in the season, they sometimes use words that dance towards human terms for it, some more joking than others. Crowley'll sass Aziraphale with a bit of dry "yes, my king" bow and scrape; Aziraphale will use French while flirting with Crowley that circles towards calling Crowley his wife.

They know they're in love and have many different words for it-- all the words for it-- and those words are not going unexpressed. They've been lovers for thousands of years. They consider themselves each other's partner in every way but for being able to call it that. They're a couple. The yearning, imho, is from pining for the more peaceful, open life they want to give one another and have not been able to fully realize, even as they've have made a good one out of what they have been given.

...but they've spent their existence, for the most part, pretending that they are not. Not really to one another but to the world. They haven't kept it hidden from one another but they have kept it secret from most others out of fear of losing one another if they were ever caught. Crowley knows that Aziraphale is the love of his life and he'll tell him so but partner isn't something he thinks he can give him, even if that's really also the best definition of what they are.

Crowley's response is basically I don't bloody know, Nina, we're each other's entire orbit, sun, moon and stars, okay? We also could be killed if someone figures out I've been sneaking out of the bookshop before dawn for ages now. I don't know what term would work for you for that. We're in love, is that what you want to know?

This same conversation, though, pushed Crowley towards admitting to himself that he's full of shit and he and Aziraphale have been basically married for forever now. He's not ever really just been existing. Their car and their bookshop and their bloody life that they made together when they weren't looking.

Crowley is already hesitant to say that Aziraphale is his partner when he's in the street and they could be overheard and when he and Aziraphale haven't discussed how they want to handle this. The other reason why he instantly shoots it down when, in reality, Nina has, by using partner, probably hit on the single, best word to describe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship that currently exists, is because the word partner implies something that Crowley believes in that moment that he and Aziraphale can't have.

Partners have lives together. In Crowley's mind, as much as he fantasizes about it being different, he and Aziraphale can only ever have an existence.

They are partners but they can't call themselves partners because, to do so, would be to use the word like the humans do. When the humans call someone their partner, they mean that they are openly making a life together with that person.

Nina, who is a human, has taken one look at Crowley and Aziraphale and has figured out that that is exactly what they have been doing, which throws Crowley a bit. He's not used to anyone knowing about them, let alone asking him to define it, and Nina has seen them together and her assessment is that they're a couple. Crowley is disturbed to find out that Coffee Shop Human can see through The Great Existence Charade and is forcing him to stop lying to himself.

She says this is a life that he and Aziraphale have made. She sees no difference between them and other couples she's seen and Crowley objects to this because if he and Aziraphale were truly partners, he'd have a life to give him, which Coffee Shop Human cannot understand. He won't call Aziraphale his partner even though they've been in love for six thousand years and lovers since ancient fucking Rome because Nina doesn't understand that he's of the bloody damned over here and it's existence or nothing, those are the options...

Nina has not considered Crowley's demonic angst as a factor here-- shockingly! 😂-- so, she's just like what's your deal, Ginger Goth? Bookseller comes into my shop on his own in the mornings a lot and I've never seen you before but I just saw you two flirting so easily and he says you go way back. I never knew he had a partner. You two are adorable and I want what you have, so... what is it, exactly? What's the big secret that kept me from knowing you existed until the other day? Are you married, is that it? This some secret fling?

You might notice, though, that Crowley only answers one of Nina's peppered questions directly but, in reality, he answers all of them with the one answer he gives.

He defends Aziraphale's honor and insists that they're not having an affair, which we all agree with is true. Crowley insists that Aziraphale would never be his "bit on the side", which is both saying that the idea of there being someone else for Crowley is insanity and that Aziraphale would never be a part of an affair. Crowley never actually answers Nina about whether or not he has a husband or a boyfriend-- which is an answer in and of itself. He does-- Aziraphale. Aziraphale is all the things to him that a boyfriend is and that a husband is, but those things are for people with lives and he lives an existence.

What is interesting, though, is that, in the view of Heaven/Hell, Crowley and Aziraphale actually are having an affair because, to Heaven/Hell, Crowley belongs to "his Master", Satan. Obviously, Crowley doesn't see himself that way and neither does Aziraphale and, of course, neither do we. Under no circumstances is that anything resembling a consensual or safe relationship and we don't view he and Aziraphale as an affair because of it. There are those that they've kept their relationship from, though, who would see it that way.

Nina had unintentionally hit on a little truth of the situation-- Crowley's inability to fully escape Satan is part of why he feels he is not free enough to offer Aziraphale a life over an existence. In every way that there is for him to be, he is utterly Aziraphale's, but he's damned and that's why Aziraphale is just an angel he knows, even if he's really his boyfriend and his partner and his husband and a million other things. Aziraphale is his everything.

It's just not a situation that Crowley can explain to Nina The Coffee Shop Human, who has no idea that he's damned for eternity and how that could potentially get in the way of such things like marrying the bookshop angel.

The idea that Nina thinks that his love life seems less complicated to her than her own gives him pause because if she only knew?

Crowley is sure that Aziraphale will be erased into non-existence and taken from him because he's fallen and he isn't going to be allowed to have a happy ending. That's just how this works.

So, when Nina said "you and your partner," Crowley jumped in to deny that he and Aziraphale are actually partners, despite being very much what anyone would call partners... and when Certified Human Nina said they were talking about their love lives, Crowley found himself forced to admit to himself that he has one. He has a love life because he has life.

It's because Nina says "other people's love lives." It's because she looks at Crowley and just sees another person and one who, like everyone, is entitled to make a life of his own, and it suddenly occurs to Cupid over here that maybe he might have accidentally kinda sorta gone and made himself a whole damn life while insisting he had done no such thing. Maybe because it's a whole lot easier to decide that you're damned and nothing will ever work out for you so why bother trying to claim a life for yourself? than it is to stop letting others define what you are and go claim that life you want.

Further complicating things is that, earlier on in the season, Beez led Crowley to believe that The Book of Life is actually a thing. Crowley, in The Final 15, believes that the being who is watching them through the window is The Metatron and he believes that big threat in play in that moment is that Aziraphale is at risk of being erased into non-existence by his name being taken out of The Book of Life. As he tries to use their language to tell Aziraphale this and a plan for how they can get out of it, he even refers to their life together as "our existence"-- using that word again, instead of the more accurate life.

The ironic part here is that Crowley is using it here to try to get Aziraphale to see that he believes that the threat is The Book of Life but Crowley so often has referred in the past to their life together as an existence that Aziraphale doesn't understand the wordplay.

One of the most heartbreaking moments, though, comes when Crowley abandons a line of wordplay-- and not just because it's not going to work for conveying what he wants to say. It is probably because this lovely, deceptively simple-sounding line that we can see is really anything but simple? This one that starts with "and I would like to spend--"?

It likely comes from the actual marriage proposal Crowley seems to have had in his mind for ages because, as we know, Crowley is an optimist. An optimist and a romantic and he's thought of what he'd say, if things ever somehow changed and he ever felt really free to ask Aziraphale.

This line was: "And I would like to spend my life with you."

In The Final 15, he can't do it. He can't bring himself to say it because he thinks it's already too late. It's not for him. He's fallen. He's damned. He's going to lose Aziraphale, as he's been fated to do all along because a life isn't for him, he is doomed to just exist and keep on existing for eternity.

Crowley thinks that Aziraphale is going to go with The Metatron and be erased into non-existence and Crowley will then have never known him, never made this existence that was really a life with him, and what did he expect? That the romantic, happy endings that he loves and tries to make happen for everyone else could ever be something that he could actually have for himself?

The word Crowley is mouthing in the scene with Nina isn't love. He's not just realizing he's in love with Aziraphale. He's known that for thousands of years. He's mouthing the word for the thing he has always felt he cannot have but that Nina sees that maybe he already does-- a life.

It aches right now but I think it likely that, when they get to the other side of all of this in The Finale and Crowley gets to actually do the proposal the way he'd really like to, the fact that he cut himself off in the "And I would like to spend--" line will actually make it all the better because now, when he finally does really freely ask Aziraphale for that life together? It will likely be the first time Aziraphale has ever heard Crowley call what they have already made together not Crowley's existence but their life.

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH38

Rip to these promising mages. I assume they will not survive this massacre.

IS that where her lungs and kidneys are? Because like. She's huge. Her entire body is behind her. Do you really think she'd keep her vital organs in the little human bulb on the front?

I mean, he has a point. What are you going to do? Fight off more hoardes of dragons?

oh noooo, Kabru.... too bad. That's so unfortunate.... anyway.

It's curious that Laios only got knocked away. He was just as likely to have had his head squished like a grape.

Guys, this is absolutely not the time to be concerned for her privacy.

Yes, queen. Free the tiddy. Murder everyone in this dungeon. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.

.......that's. One way to do that. I guess.

.......what's that rock about.

Oh, I see. That's convenient.

This guy dungeons! Maybe he even dragons.

So we got north (tallmen? dwarves?) and then the easterners.... and now the elves of the west?

He's going to give her to the Americans?! ಠ_ಠ

To be fair, at least they HAD a plan. And they executed it. It's more than you did. I don't mean to point fingers but... at least they... ya know... did something.

Kabru's like 'no, no, hang on, I need to hear what batshit fucked up thing this dude is going to say next, this is important'

Laios is so stressed he broke character.

Then again, maybe it's healthy to let them slug it out a bit. Get it out of their system.

It's true. They wore fitbits and everything.

...hey, hold on a second.

Now hold on a minute.

Damn, this is. Kind of even worse because. I guess I could have guessed that Toshi was just pretending to be polite, like you do. Cultural differences.

But the painful thing is, Laios doesn't seem surprised. He just seems resigned. He's been told before that he's difficult to get along with. To the extent that he doesn't even consider Marcille and Chillchuck his friends? Even though they arguably both care about him? But because Toshiro didn't bother to be deadpan about him being a bit odd at times, Laios thought it meant that was fine.

And that kinda hurts. Like damn. Laios just wanted to make a true connection. And I can't really blame Toshiro either, he was just trying to keep the peace but. Damn.

Free her! Let her do her illegal magics! She deserves it! （︶^︶）

Thoughts:

Senshi just being annoyed about that one last harpy looking for scraps.... like "shoo, this ain't the time"

That gnome seems genuinely nice. I'm sorry Falin squished his pet undyne.

Kabru hugging his..... mage? Girlfriend???? Seems very...one sided. Kinda feel bad for her.

Laios and Toshiro still going at it, I see. Get it allout, boys.

Uhhhhhhhhhh ninja girls.

Aww, doggo.

Last question: Where did the cat go?

Senshi: I can fix that.

Are you all worried because he's finally making sense?!?!

Laios and he punched their singular braincells into several new ones, it seems.

F./....Falin... please give the caterpillar some privacy........

My man, maybe lead with that............

I can't believe Marcille was potentially more forward about her feelings.......

"his pupils are dilated" yes, thank you sherlock. You've finally realized what everyone else who meets Laios feels almost immediately. he's a monster freak club card carrying member. Welcome.

p.....pubby......

As long as he was also inside the dungeon with them.... yes.

The issue with Kabru isn't that he isn't trying his best. It's that Laios isn't trying at all.

On a scale of one to Kabru, how badly do you react to being offered a food you don't want to eat?

......oh no. He's so pathetic it's funny. He's growing on me.

Absolute morons, the pair of them. Immovable object meets unstoppable force. The funniest combination ever. Ghost type and normal type pokemon, forever throwing moves at each other that will never hit. Laios thinking he's made a friend. Kabru just barely stopping himself from killing Laios. Best comedy pair. Tom and Jerry in a can.

Anyway. What a great manga.