#the hospital workers don’t dare to say anything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mbti-notes · 1 year ago

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Anon wrote: Hi, I want to ask for perspective on my working method as I've been getting complaints about my "behaviors". I'm an XXTJ. A doctor, confident in his expertise with great experience. I'm respected for my competency. I work in a big hospital where I'm well paid by the patients that want my service. This job is suitable for me because I can be professional without bringing up personal life. Being a senior doctor, I see myself as someone who has well-established working method and ethics.

But when I told my nurse so, she refuted, which took me by surprise & ruffled my feathers. She said that I was good as a health worker but bad as a doctor! Going further she explained that my way of never explaining anything to the patients whenever I give patients prescription is condescending, evoking insecurity & worries to them.

She went further by saying that some patients who had to visit my room said I was their last choice as they were afraid of me, & even reminded me of those who stopped using my service half-way to shift to another doctor who was better at “soothing them”. She dared to compare me with other potentially more incompetent doctors that could be only a “better” doctor due to her subjective, personal feelings ‘fueled’ judgments. “Some explanations should be fine, but you didn’t even bother” - she said.

Why would I have to explain about medicine to people who have zero knowledge on that? Wouldn’t their further questions be stupid irrational insecurities that they would project onto the ask? Why do I have to deal with that? They can’t heal themselves, so they find me. What you don’t know, you listen to authorities. I know what I’m doing, so listen to me. Don’t want to, don’t use my services. This has worked since I’ve been a doctor. I feel personally attacked because a nurse who doesn’t have expertise on medicine dares to comment on my ethics, her status doesn’t grant her authority to say that freely.

[addendum] I feel personally attacked because a nurse who doesn’t have expertise on medicine dares to comment on my ethics, her status doesn’t grant her authority to say that freely. But then, as she dared to comment on my pride, I went further by asking colleagues I respect about my method to prove her wrong. Disappointingly, some gave similar comments with the nurse. What would explaining things patients don't understand contribute to my working life, be It either productivity or moral obligations? Thank you.

-------------------------

I get more questions than I have time to answer, so I have to be selective, and I usually reject ones like yours. Among the many factors I examine to determine whether it is worth my time to respond, one of the most important is the person has to display a genuine motivation to realize more of their positive potential.

You not only don't display such motivation, you seem to be actively searching for excuses to avoid change. You even brag about doing the same thing for years, without realizing that it actually indicates an unhealthy resistance to improvement and progress.

Against my better judgment, I chose to respond, not because I believe it will benefit you, but because I feel for the people around you. If there is even a small chance that something I say can lead you to reduce the suffering/harm done to the people who experience your "behavior", my ethics requires me to take the chance.

One of the best ways to get the "perspective" you are after is to actively make the effort to see yourself through the eyes of others, by being open to their feedback and criticism. The nurse has helpfully provided some perspective for you without getting very nasty about it, but you have chosen to discredit her in a childish act of shooting the messenger, just because your feelings got hurt. If I end up agreeing with her, will you shoot me as well?

It seems the main issue underlying your predicament is you suffer from extremely low self-awareness. An important aspect of self-awareness is being able to perceive and evaluate yourself accurately and objectively. The feedback you have received, now from multiple people in agreement about the facts, indicates that there is a huge discrepancy between how you see yourself and how others see you. This is almost always a sign of a deeper psychological issue.

The degree to which you lack self-awareness is troubling because it is akin to blindness. You live in your own little bubble of distorted reality and your self-concept is built upon false/problematic beliefs. In this aspect, I do feel for you, because I know it is painful to be blindsided and experience a break in the protective bubble you have carefully curated for yourself. I think the evidence speaks for itself, if you can manage to be objective about it:

You believe you do no wrong despite the fact that you have to rationalize away a pattern of patients literally fleeing from you.

You believe you are competent despite the fact that you have no understanding of the mental health of your patients and the major impact it has on the maintenance of their physical health.

You believe you are ethical despite the fact that you celebrate a cold and detached attitude that discourages patients from fully entrusting themselves to your "care".

You believe you "keep the personal to yourself" without fail despite the fact that your personality flaws are obvious to many people and produce negative social consequences.

You believe the nurse is being "subjective" despite the fact that, in a classic case of projection, you are the one who has repeatedly exhibited a refusal to acknowledge any perspective but your own.

You believe the nurse is only speaking from "feelings" despite the fact that she is relaying actual details of what has transpired among your patients.

You believe the nurse is unqualified to speak despite the fact that her job places her in an excellent position to objectively observe and understand your relationship with your patients.

You believe the nurse doesn't know anything despite the fact that the manner in which you reacted to being criticized only proved that every word of her critique is true - a testament to her people-reading skills.

You believe you have integrity despite the fact that you harbor biases and prejudices against people based on outdated notions of social superiority. The condescending manner in which you speak about your patients and especially about the nurse, who is your colleague and your equal as a fellow human being, should evoke moral revulsion in anyone with a proper moral conscience.

If you don't know your exact type, the first thing you ought to do is figure it out before contacting me, otherwise, you might have trouble understanding what I say about function development. You exhibit many of the common manifestations of unhealthy Te-Fi including:

insensitivity

egotism

small-mindedness

arrogance

pridefulness

condescension

pompousness

willful ignorance about the experiences of others (that deters anyone from speaking the truth and bursting one's bubble)

The remedy to Te-Fi misuse requires self-development. Restore proper balance between the functions through learning how to use them more appropriately. In your case, there should be a particular focus on learning and nurturing genuine humility, objectivity, empathy, and compassion. Consult previous posts about these development issues in TJs.

Ideally, medicine is supposed to be a noble helping profession, but reality tends to fall short of the ideal. Unfortunately, because of its imperfect reward system, the field sometimes attracts the wrong kinds of people, i.e., people who don't actually possess a strong motivation to be of help and service to others. I don't believe you are a terrible or evil person. I believe that you believe you have done your best to be a good doctor. However, you seem to be lacking the one fundamental quality that all members of a helping profession should possess: empathy. It is unclear as to why you lack empathy. This is something you need to reflect on and figure out for the sake of your own personal growth.

Reeducate yourself about what it means to be a good doctor. Your idea of what makes a good doctor is remarkably narrow and self-serving in only including your own perceived strengths yet conveniently excluding everything related to the personality weaknesses you don't want to acknowledge, especially with regard to Fi. You glorify the idea of core competency when it is really just the basic/minimal requirement of the profession. A truly "good" doctor must meet many more criteria than that.

Like many people with ego development issues, you conflate the two separate and distinct concepts of "smart" (i.e. knowledge) versus "good" (i.e. values), which means you don't really understand what it means to be moral or ethical. To be a moral person is, first and foremost, to CARE. Care arises from a willingness to feel and an openness to understanding how people feel. But you treat feelings as a burden and something to be avoided, even derided, because you really only care about benefiting yourself. In the absence of care, your own desires will always conflict with others', which renders you incapable of fully understanding what another person needs for health and well-being. Until you can remedy this, perhaps you are better suited to positions in the medical field that don't require you to interact with vulnerable people on a regular basis, i.e., positions that make good use of your intellectual skills but do not require good people skills as well.

#criticism #arrogance #small mindedness #willful ignorance #empathy #ethics #morality #ask

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angstyandromanticwriting · 1 year ago

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Lyutsifer Safin X Fem!Reader Cute, angsty and fluffy prompt

!TW: Pregnancy, mention/use of the word ‘rapist’s’, hint of anxiety, mention of having nightmares, mention of being raped/use of word ‘raped’, mention of being beaten up, mention of bullying/harassment, mention of blood/presence of blood, mention of bleeding/use of word ‘bleeding’, mention of hospital, mention of miscarriage/use of word ‘miscarriage’, mention of feeling guilty, hint of suffering from depression, implied swearing (word ‘cursed’), mention of illness/suffering from an illness, mention of past suicidal intentions, waters breaking, mention of ambulance/use of word ‘ambulance’!

“I just want you to know that you don’t need to go with me, I don’t need you to protect me, if you have to stay here,�� you assured, but Safin shook his head; he was set on going with you and protecting you; you had to go back home again because you were soon to be due to give birth to your new child who you still weren’t sure was Safin’s or the rapist’s, the only thing you’d found out about it is that it is a boy. “I just don’t want something to happen to you,” you expressed, and Safin shook his head again, holding your hand.

“Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise,” he tried to reassure you, “nobody is ever going to take me away from you. Do you believe me?”

You smiled softly up at him, nodding. “Of course I do,” you answered, before you connected your lips to his in a loving kiss. “Okay, you can come back home with me,” you decided, and Safin grinned, glad that you’d finally agreed to let him go with you.

~-~

Even when you’d gotten home and were away from his workers, you were anxious and were still having nightmares most nights about the times you had been raped, and beaten up by them when Safin wasn’t there to help you. You struggled when you awoke in someone’s hold behind you, but relaxed when you heard Safin’s voice. “You’re okay, Y/n,” he spoke gently, “you were just having a nightmare.” You turned around to hug him tightly, beginning to cry as you felt overwhelmed after having the nightmare. “I’ll never let them hurt you again, I promise,” he expressed, a pained expression on his face; he wished he had done more to help you. “Do you want me to get you a glass of water?” Safin inquired, and you shook your head, forcing a smile up at him.

“I - I can get myself one, don’t worry,” you reassured him, and he sat up as he watched you get up off of the bed, leaving a small blood stain.

“Y/n,” Safin spoke uneasily, worried about you. You looked back at him, humming to show that you were listening. “You’re bleeding,” he pointed out, and you faltered, your eyes widening. Safin wouldn’t know what to say, a pained expression on his face; he was assuming the worst.

“But.. That can’t mean,” you murmured, “n-no, I don’t feel anything out of the ordinary.. I’ll try and get an appointment at the hospital tomorrow, and they’ll tell me what’s going on.” Safin nodded gravely, and you frowned, guessing that he thought you were going to have a miscarriage. “It’s going to be okay,” you tried to reassure him, but he wouldn’t dare look up at you; he didn’t want you to see that his eyes were glistening. “S-Safin, stop, please,” you begged shakily; you couldn’t take it; you didn’t want to think that you were going to have a miscarriage, and didn’t want to think that you wouldn’t find out if he was Safin’s child or wouldn’t be able to raise him with him. You rushed out of the room because you hated to cry in front of him, and he felt guilty for not trying to comfort you or trying to say something to you that would make you feel better.

Safin had decided to wait until the morning to talk to you because he didn’t want to upset you any further, and he found himself not being able to sleep for the whole night; he was too worried about you. “Good morning, kitten,” Safin spoke gently when he entered the living room to find you sitting up on the sofa, hugging the blanket you had over you closer to you.

“Morning,” you mumbled, trying to hide your face from him because your eyes were sore; you had been crying again.

Safin sat beside you, and you wouldn’t dare look up at him. “Everything is going to be okay, I promise,” he assured; he wanted to cheer you up because he hated to see you like this, and he missed your smile.

You tried to believe him, but couldn’t kick the doubt from your mind. “But - What if we do lose him?” You questioned, and Safin frowned. “If we lose him, I will never stop blaming myself,” you expressed, and Safin shook his head.

“It wouldn’t be your fault, Y/n,” he contradicted, and you scoffed. “It wouldn’t-”

“I just can’t help, but think - if we do, it’ll be the universe telling me that I’ve not been a good enough mother,” you admitted, and it was Safin’s turn to scoff and shake his head, before he placed his on top of your’s gently.

“You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?” Safin replied, and you glanced up at him for only a moment, before you lowered your head again. “You’ve been a great mother, Y/n, to both Sylvia and Emily, and you have been trying to do everything to protect our-” Safin faltered, feeling rather dejected when he remembered that he might not be the father, “s-son.”

You frowned when you realised that he must be thinking about the possibility of your son being the rapist’s, instead of his. Safin forced a weak smile up at you, and you tried to reflect it, but found yourself failing as you looked away from him again. Safin pulled you into a hug, and you rested against him, feeling comfortable, before you awkwardly turned around to wrap your arms around him. “Thank you, Safin,” you whispered, “I - I feel a little better now, when you hold me I’m in my happy place.”

“And when you hold me, I find myself in mine,” he remarked, and you smiled lovingly up at him, before you rested your head on his shoulder after he’d returned the smile.

“Those glasses are adorable on you,” Safin stated when he came across you reading in bed; you’d been starting to retire to bed much earlier because you tended to be exhausted more often, most likely because Sylvia was growing up into an older toddler, and being slightly more difficult, whilst you also tried to tend to your needs, avoiding Safin’s help because you wanted him to stop worrying about you all the time.

“Thank you,” you replied, smiling warmly up at him, before you got an idea, trying not to giggle as you pretended that you felt something out of the ordinary, sitting up with a perplexed expression on your face.

“What is it?” Safin inquired, rushing to your side so he could hold your hand, worried about you.

You looked up at him, your eyes wide. “I think my water just broke,” you answered, your voice close to a whisper. Safin would be shocked, before he attempted to pick you up, surprising you, and making you laugh; you couldn’t stop yourself. Safin appeared confused; he didn’t think you’d be laughing. Safin then grew suspicious of you, and you burst out laughing again when you noticed the skeptical look on his face. “I got you!” You exclaimed, and he grunted, before he lowered you back down on the bed.

Safin sat down on the edge of the bed, expressing relief. “Don’t scare me like that again, Y/n,” he whined, and you grinned, amused.

You shuffled closer to him, and he reluctantly looked over at you, anxious again. “Shut up, you big baby, and let me kiss you,” you teased, and he begrudgingly let you connect your lips to his.

~-~

On a lazy night for you both, you decided to find a horror movie for you both to watch, and were finding it hilarious because you could tell that Safin was trying to hide that he was startled by some of the scenes. “Is someone scared?” You teased him when you noticed that he was looking anywhere, but at the television screen, and he scoffed, glaring over at you.

“I’m not scared,” he claimed, “I just think horror movies are stupid, and boring.”

“Sure,” you replied, not believing him at all as he nervously returned his attention to the film. When another jump scare occurred shortly after he’d returned his attention to it, he cursed quietly, and you couldn’t help, but giggle again, prompting him to shoot a glare at you.

“Why do you make me watch these things?” He complained, making you laugh even more. “Sometimes I really hate you when you make me do these things,” he continued, and you tried to stop laughing to relieve him of the embarrassment. Safin relaxed a little bit after you’d managed to hold back the rest of your giggles, and you intertwined your fingers with his, before you rested your head on his shoulder.

~-~

“Safin, stop,” you whined; you were currently suffering from quite a bad cold, and were trying not to pass it on to him, but he was making it difficult for you to do that because he kept insisting on being near you.

“No,” he replied; he didn’t want to leave you alone whilst you were ill. “You’re sick, let me take care of you,” he practically pleaded, wanting to do all he could to restore your health, and all he could to make you feel comfortable.

“I don’t need you to take care of me,” you claimed, “and I don’t want you to get sick, too, so-”

“I don’t care if I get sick, Y/n,” he interrupted, certain of himself, “please just let me look after you until you’re better.” You sighed, before you nodded reluctantly. Safin smiled, glad that you were now allowing him to stay and take care of you.

Safin wrapped his arms around your waist, and you tried to ease him away, feeling as if he were getting dangerously close to the point he’d definitely receive the same cold from you. “Don’t get too close for now, okay?” You warned, and he frowned, nodding gravely.

“I’m sorry, your eyes are just really pretty and distracting,” he explained, and a smile played on your lips - you could also feel that your cheeks were heating up. “You’re blushing,” he pointed out, smirking. You winced, trying to hide your face from him. “You’re adorable,” he continued, and you whimpered, begging silently for him to stop teasing you, because you could feel that your face must be as red as a tomato by now. “It’s hard, trying not to kiss you,” he expressed, and you agreed; you wished the cold would just go away now.

“Hopefully this won’t last much longer,” you replied, and Safin nodded, forcing a smile over at you.

~-~

You would be surprised when you woke up to Safin panicking, and he expressed relief when he noticed that you were awake, rushing to your side, before he sat beside you, holding your right hand in his left one. “I thought I lost you,” he expressed dejectedly, his voice briefly trembling.

You appeared confused, and he frowned. “What happened?” You inquired, and he tilted his head partially.

“You’ve been asleep for hours, Y/n,” he answered, “I was worried; I thought something was wrong.”

“I must have been exhausted,” you mused, before you sat up, “well, I’m awake now, so you no longer need to worry about me.” Safin nodded, smiling weakly, before he leaned forward to wrap his arms around you. You returned the hug, thinking about how you’d never thought he’d be like this before. “I remember when I didn’t expect you to be so cuddly,” you stated, and Safin winced, burying his face into the crook of your neck to hide that he felt embarrassed.

“I didn’t think I would be, either,” he claimed, and you smiled softly, before you lifted your right hand to stroke his hair. “The older me would probably rather die than be how I am right now,” he remarked, and you shook your head, thinking he would be the same, just a little more awkward. “But I’m glad I’m different now,” he added, “and I’m extremely grateful for you, for making me so much happier than I used to be.”

“And I’m grateful for you, too,” you returned, holding him at arm’s length, “because if I hadn’t met you, I’d still be in the dark place I was before, and might have even have taken my life by now.”

Safin’s smile faded as he glanced up at you, and you looked away, feeling bad for mentioning it, and possibly ruining the moment. “I wish I had met you sooner,” he responded, “to take you out of the darkness you used to be in.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured, relocating your hand to his left cheek, “because I’m out of it now, as long as I’m with you.” The smile returned to both you and his face, before he lovingly and gently connected his lips to your’s.

~-~

You rushed into the living room when you heard Sylvia crying, and would be surprised when you saw pen markings on the opposite wall to you, and Safin trying to calm her down whilst appearing stressed out, himself. “What happened?” You inquired, and he expressed relief when he heard your voice, turning to face you.

“I found her drawing on the wall,” he answered, “and tried to stop her from doing anymore, but-”

Safin sighed, and you took her from him; you could see that he needed a break. “Why don’t you go and have a lie down?” You suggested, and he frowned, shaking his head; he wanted to help you with Sylvia, and the mess. “Are you sure-?” You pried, worried about him; he looked exhausted. He nodded, forcing a smile at you. “Okay, but you don’t have to help me clean this up,” you stated, to which Safin shook his head again; he wanted to help.

“I don’t want my princess to be doing all the work,” he replied, “please, let me help you.”

You sighed, before you gave in, nodding gravely. “Fine, I’ll let you help me,” you responded, looking over at the pen markings on the wall again, whilst trying not to feel overwhelmed about attempting to clean them off.

“Am I in trouble, mummy?” Sylvia asked, and you looked over at her, shaking your head, whilst forcing a smile.

“No,” you answered simply, “you’re lucky you’re cute - go and watch tv whilst we try and deal with - this.” Sylvia felt bad, and hesitated, before she climbed up onto the sofa to watch her favourite animated program that was just starting. Safin noticed that you seemed overwhelmed, and he held your hand to try and relax your nerves. You looked over at him, and couldn’t help, but giggle when you thought back to the time you recalled that you were developing feelings for him. Safin wore a puzzled expression on his face, tilting his head as he wondered what you were thinking about. “I’ve been in love with you for an embarrassingly long time,” you remarked, and Safin couldn’t help, but grin, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I have the same problem,” he returned, before he connected his lips to your’s lovingly. “Now,” he began again, holding you at arm’s length as he looked over the pen markings. You looked over at them, too, and winced. “I can hear you overthinking things from here, stop it,” he commanded gently, and you nodded, trying not to.

~-~

After you and Safin had had a late night, he lazily strolled into the kitchen in the morning, where you were making breakfast for you and him. You grinned as you watched him sink into one of the kitchen table chairs, and he lifted his hand to his forehead; he clearly must be suffering from a headache. “If I don’t get coffee soon, someone is going to die,” he stated, and you couldn’t help, but giggle, pouring him the rest of the coffee you’d made not too long ago.

“Here,” you set the mug down in front of him, and he smiled up at you warmly, replying with a soft ‘thank you, kitten.’

“You’re welcome,” you responded, before you returned your focus onto the breakfast you were starting to plate up now for him and you.

~-~

“Stop,” you whined whilst he tickled you, and he chuckled, amused.

“If you want me to stop tickling you, you need to stop being so cute,” he replied, and you whined, beginning to feel flustered as you tried to hide your face from him, feeling that your cheeks were heating up, which told you that you were blushing. “You’re being cute again,” he stated, before he began to tickle you again, prompting you to burst out laughing, and struggling against him to try and escape him tickling you. Safin stopped suddenly, and you wondered what had happened. “Did - Did our son just kick?” Safin inquired, and you would be surprised, hoping you’d not missed him kicking.

You then gasped, feeling it again. “He’s kicking again,” you whispered, “Safin, he’s - he’s okay!” Safin expressed relief, before he threw his arms around you, and you smiled widely, before you returned the hug, immensely relieved to feel that your son was still alive, after not being able to secure a hospital appointment to find out. “I told you he would be okay,” you reminded him, and he nodded gravely, wishing he’d listened to you before.

Safin expressed concern when you’d gone quiet, and he held your hand, his eyes searching your’s. “What’s wrong?” He inquired, and you winced, your eyes wide with fear.

“I think my water just broke,” you whispered shakily, and Safin faltered, trying not to panic as he tried to think. “I need to call an ambulance-”

“No, Y/n,” he interrupted, “save your energy, I will call one.”

“But-”

“They won’t know,” he promised, “just let me help you, kitten.” You groaned, leaning heavily against him, before you begrudgingly nodded, though you were worried about him being caught. “Okay,” he spoke gently, “I’ll call them now, okay?” You nodded, and he rushed out of the room to the telephone, knowing he had to get he ambulance quickly for you.

~~~~~

I apologise for not posting my writing for a little while, I’ve just needed a bit of time to think about things, but feel as if I’ll hopefully be able to post a bit more now! I hope you enjoyed this prompt, and am hoping to post another soon! ❤️

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ruth-writes · 3 months ago

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ruthswip

Chapter 4: Jamie's POV

Content warnings: depression, abuse

I woke up to blinding lights that I could barely see through my swollen eyes and every breath making my ribs scream in pain. It made memories come crashing though my skull, all attempts to fight them off useless. They were only slightly more bearable than the nightmares that had been plaguing my sleep.

I prayed no one would notice I was awake. Every bone in my body still felt limp with exhaustion. What would happen to me now? Were they gonna sit me across from some social worker who’d explain to me that I was now part of the system? It would have been easier if John had just killed me. Everyone would be messed up for a month at most before moving on with their lives. Holden would go back to hanging out with Charlie and Alex would be free to move even further away and start fresh.

Alex’s absence always made my chest feel hollow, but now it felt like something was clawing out my insides until there was nothing left but a shell. All I wanted was for him to be here, telling me it was all gonna be okay, that I wasn’t gonna be a case for a foster home. But I’d ruined all of that when I’d blocked him. Maybe I could run away, somewhere far where I’d never have to see anyone I knew ever again. I willed the tears forming in my eyes to seep back into my skull, but it was useless. My chest was rising and falling rapidly now anyway. I felt someone take my hand. Was Holden here?

“Jamie?” a voice said gently. It definitely wasn’t Holden. It sounded like… no, that had to be my brain playing a cruel trick on me. I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to hold onto the fantasy. The voice stayed quiet, but the hand started rubbing soothing circles on my skin. Only one hand ever did that. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and opened my eyes.

They still felt puffy but opened wider than I’d thought they would once I’d gotten used to the light. Through my tears, I saw him. Clinging to my hand and watching me with bloodshot eyes.

He smiled, looking elated that I was awake. “Hey.”

I didn’t feel like saying anything.

“Jamie, I’m so, so, sorry. I’m never letting him touch you again, okay? Mom neither, I swear. You’ll never see any of them again.”

He kept rambling, and I didn’t have the energy to listen.

--------------------

Holden and I had been sitting silently on my bed for what felt like an eternity, but the ticking clock cutting through the silence told me it hadn’t been more than ten minutes.

“Do you like it?” I asked him eventually.

“You room?”

“Yeah.”

He looked around. Admittedly, there wasn’t much left to like. The little evidence I’d lived here for the past fourteen years was safely packed into the cardboard boxes. “It doesn’t feel like you,” he observed.

There wasn’t much I could say to that, so we were back to sitting in silence.

After another painful three minutes, he was the one to break it. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” I was a far cry from good. My ribs were still broken, I couldn’t walk normally because one of the kicks had hit my left knee in a weird way, and I was still finding new bruises everywhere. But my face wasn’t swollen anymore, and I wasn’t confined to a hospital bed.

“That’s good.”

I nodded, staring at my lap so I didn’t have to see his face as I bit the bullet. I took a deep breath and folded my fingers into his. “I don’t think-“ my voice cracked. “I don’t think I can do this long-distance.”

The sentence hung in the air until he wrapped his arms around my chest and rested his chin on my shoulder. I clung to his arm as I choked out, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare blame yourself,” he immediately stopped me. “This is for the best. You’ll be away from your dad for good.”

And from him. This was for the best, but that didn’t stop it from being terrible. “We can still be friends. Like, really, I’m not just saying that. We can text and stuff.”

He nodded. “Definitely.”

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” I told him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“I’m gonna miss you, too.”

He stayed over that night, which was the only way I was able to fall asleep in that room. We watched a movie none of us paid any attention to, talked for hours, and savored our last moments together until the next morning, he got on the school bus and I got in the car with Alex.

Alex was silent until we got onto the highway. “I know this really sucks. I’m sorry.” I knew that if he wasn’t driving, he’d be rubbing circles on my hand again.

I bit back a snarky response about how he couldn’t know because he’d never been in a relationship and stared out the window.

A few miles later, he got a text. Then another. When the third one came, I was able to catch the name on his phone. “Who’s Aaliyah?” I asked.

“A friend,” was all he replied.

“From your new life?” I said passive aggressively.

His grip on the steering wheel tightened and he bit his lip. “Don’t talk to me like that,” he said firmly once he’d calmed himself.

Angry tears sprouted from my eyes. I furiously stared at the car in front of us, pretending to read the license plate.

“Hey,” he scolded, still not yelling. “I know you’re mad. You’re allowed to be mad, but you’re not allowed to be mean.”

I rolled my eyes and relented to get him off my back. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” he said pointedly. “I love you, okay?”

I didn’t reply, only talking to him when absolutely necessary for the rest of the car ride, like I’d been doing since the hospital. I could tell it upset him, but he didn’t comment on it.

We carried my suitcases up to the Airbnb we were staying in while Alex went apartment hunting. It was downtown according to him, and not too far from the new school I was supposed to be going to tomorrow. Apparently, being beaten to a pulp by your father wasn’t a good enough reason to take more than a week off.

“Why don’t we get pizza?” Alex asked once we were settled on the couch.

“Really?” I asked uncertainly. We’d never ordered pizza before. “Isn’t that expensive?”

He shrugged the question off. “Don’t worry about that, okay? It’s fine.” He got out his phone, typed something and handed it to me. “Here, pick something.”

I scrolled through the website, looking at every option before I decided on plain cheese. It didn’t take long to arrive.

“Can I eat in my room?” I asked as Alex handed me the box. I had the only room in the small space, Alex was sleeping on the couch.

“Sure,” he said. “Take a plate with you, okay?”

I wordlessly grabbed one from the kitchen before I left and shut the door behind me. I sat on the bed, listening to The Battle of the Labyrinth audiobook to distract me as I ate. Thankfully, the crust was nice and crunchy and the pizza wasn’t one of those soggy messes that made me want to puke. When I was done, I crawled under the covers, not bothering to put on pajamas.

Percy Jackson didn’t do its job of stopping by brain from buzzing. I rolled around for hours until I gave up and just stared at the ceiling. As the minutes ticked by, I started dreading the next day more and more. Only six hours of sleep I could handle, but five? Four? I was at something around three and a half when I finally drifted off.

Judging by the pounding headache I woke up too, it definitely wasn’t enough. The sound of someone arguing drifted through the walls, which immediately put me on high alert as I strained my ears. I sounded like Alex was on the phone, but I couldn’t make out with who. Crawling out of bed, I crept towards the door and cracked it open.

Alex immediately saw me from the other side of the room. “Dad, I’m gonna have to call you back, okay?” he said, then hung up without waiting for an answer and turned to me. “You’re up early. Couldn’t sleep?”

I ignored the question. “Since when does your dad have your phone number?”

Alex bristled. “Since he started paying for my entire life.”

Right. He’d offered him money, and Alex had come running. “What were you arguing about?” I prodded.

“He wants me to visit him over break, and I was telling him it wasn’t gonna happen,” Alex said in a tone that made it clear he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “You look exhausted. Did you get any sleep at all?”

“Yeah, like three hours.”

Alex decided that was enough for him to call me in sick. Even though he obviously didn’t like it, he left me alone after drilling me to call him for anything I needed whatsoever. It was sweet, and I even let him hug me before he finally ran out the door. Once he was gone, I crawled back under the covers. After a few hours, I was wishing I’d sucked it up and gone to school. Being alone with my thoughts was definitely worse.

The next day, Alex was running late again, but this time it was my problem because he had to drive me. I stood by the door with my backpack and shoes already on, yelling at him to hurry up. Being the new kid was bad enough, I was not gonna draw extra attention to myself by being late.

“I coming!” he called back, obviously taking care not to yell. “Don’t worry, we still have more than enough time.”

He did know the city better than I did, but I had to go to the office before my first period and find all of my classes in the unfamiliar building, which I’d reminded him of multiple times. Still, he ended up being right, getting us to the parking lot fifteen minutes before I had to show up. It was both a relief and annoying.

“Do you want me to help you find it?” he asked as I opened the door. “I’m pretty sure I can still pass as a senior.”

“No, it’s okay.” I’d already jumped out of the car. “Bye.”

He waved. “Good luck, have fun, and if you need anything, call me.”

I assured him I would, then turned to the school. There was a kid heading towards the entrance, so I followed him inside. Thankfully, I was greeted by clear signs that pointed me towards the office.

The office lady looked up from her desk when I entered and gave me a fake smile. “Can I help you?”

I cleared my throat embarrassingly loudly. “Uh, I’m new, and I was told to go to the office to get my schedule?”

“Of course! It’s James, right?”

“Jamie,” I corrected her, mentally preparing myself for having to deal with this for the rest of the week.

She nodded. “Jamie. Excellent. Let me just find it…” She rummaged through a stack of papers on her desk and handed me one. “A student with a similar schedule to yours has been assigned to show you around. Why don’t you take a seat while you wait for him?”

“Oh, okay. Thank you.” I promptly tripped and stumbled into a big chair that was shoved against the wall, my face burning. The desk lady was engrossed in her computer again, so I got out my phone to text Holden while I waited.

J: Omg I’m about to start my first school day. I hope I don’t die

H: same

H: As in, same, I hope you don’t die. I don’t have a reason to think I might die

J: they assigned some random kid to show me around

H: Are they nice?

J: I don’t know, I haven’t met them yet

H: Well, update me

Before long, a kid wearing loafers and a button-down shirt walked into the office and hocked his eyes on me, which I found incredibly uncomfortable. “Hi, are you James?” he asked cheerfully.

“Jamie.”

“Nice to meet you, Jamie. I’m Noah, I’ll be showing you around today.” He held out his hand, which I shook half-heartedly.

“Cool, thanks.” Of course, my buddy was a thirty-year-old businessman stuck in a teenager’s body. Only a nerd would sign up for this kind of job.

“Can I see you schedule?” Noah asked.

I handed it to him.

“Awesome, our first class is the same. We should hurry, it’s on the other side of the building.”

Noah practically flew through the halls, making sure we arrived exactly as the bell rang. “Mrs. O’Brian, this is Jamie. He’s new,” Noah panted in the doorway.

Great, thanks for announcing me like a guest at some kind of medieval ball.

Mrs. O’Brian frowned at the sheet on her desk. “Jamie? I have you down as James.”

“My name is Jamie,” I told her bluntly.

She smiled condescendingly. “I don’t know how things worked at your old school, but teachers don’t use nicknames here. You can ask your friends to call you Jamie, but in my class you’ll be addressed by your legal name.”

“It’s not a nickname, it’s my name,” I argued hotly.

Noah cut in. “Mrs. O’Brian, aren’t there typos on those lists sometimes? It might be something like that.”

Maybe having your buddy be a teacher’s pet wasn’t as bad as I thought, because Mrs. O’Brian immediately morphed into a kind, understanding person as she addressed Noah. “Yes, thank you, Noah. That’s probably what happened.” She wrote it down, then looked back at us. “Welcome, Jamie. I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” I replied politely, even though it wasn’t.

“You can sit behind Caleb.” She pointed to an empty chair behind a tall, lanky guy with blond hair. I could already see myself craning my neck all year to see the board around him. “But before you sit down-“ Oh God. Please, no no no no no- “why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?”

I looked to Noah for help, but he’d already made his way to a seat by the window. I was completely alone in front of about twenty pairs of eyes, that were watching me partly with expressions of pity, partly with ones of amusement.

“Um, well, I’m Jamie,” I started awkwardly, then stopped. What was I supposed to say now? Where I was from? That was boring. Hobbies? The only one I had was dance, and that was weird for a guy. I wasn’t about to hand them bullying material on a silver platter, they could figure that out on their own. The silence was becoming excruciatingly painful as the seconds ticked by on the large wall-mounted clock behind me, only made worse by everyone’s eyes boring into me. Was my breathing getting heavier? I forced back a sob. I would not be crying on my first day.

Mrs. O’Brian’s voice cut through my trance. “Jamie, are you all right?”

I realized I’d started swaying and quickly straightened myself, then gave her a feeble nod. “I’m fine.”

She smiled awkwardly. “Well, why don’t you tell us where you’re from?”

“I-“ my voice came out as a whine, so I cleared my throat and started again. “I’m from the Chicago area.”

“How nice!” She still wouldn’t let me sit down, so I had to endure the silence again until she asked, “What sort of things do you like?”

Couldn’t she just let me go? I took a shaky breath and said the first thing that came to my mind. “I like cats.” Were cats gay? Probably. High schoolers could turn anything gay.

Mrs. O’Brian must have had at least five cats waiting for her at home, because now she was smiling in earnest. “Cats are wonderful! Do you have any?”

I shook my head. “No.” She looked taken aback, and I heard someone laugh. I just knew this was gonna be the funny story they told their friends at lunch.

I was finally allowed to sit down, and I took the opportunity to zone out. I kept it up for the rest of class and the next few hours, only paying attention when Noah gave me rapid-fire information during passing time. He seemed nice enough, even lying to me that everyone would forget about my little cat stunt by tomorrow.

My third teacher had me sit in the last row, which I took advantage of and got out my phone.

J: Everyone keeps calling me James. One teacher even argued with me about it. Like, lady, I’m pretty sure I know my own name

H: Ugh. If I was there, I’d slap her for you

I grinned, spending the rest of my time until lunch envisioning Holden slapping Mrs. O’Brian in different ways.

The cafeteria was similar to my old school, right down to the noise that made me want to claw my own ears off. I followed Noah’s lead and got pizza, which he said was the least gross out of all the available lunch options and sat down at a table with him and two kids who introduced themselves as David and Oliver.

Oliver quickly turned out to be the kind of person who didn’t know when to shut up. “Dang, I’d hate being the new kid. Why would your parents move you from Chicago to here? Do they hate you or something?”

No one said anything, but Noah and David had the decency to look slightly uncomfortable.

“Hey, I asked you a question,” Oliver tried again. “Why’d you move here?”

I shrugged. “Some stuff came up.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“It’s not important,” I retorted coldly.

“If it’s not important, why won’t you just tell me?”

“Oliver!” Noah finally snapped. “Lay off, will you?”

They exchanged a look, and Oliver gave it. “Damn, sorry. I forgot how sensitive y’all are.”

They spent the rest of lunch bickering, leaving me to zone out again.

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perregrinstudiessometimes · 2 years ago

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Spoiler Free Book review of:

Catch Me If You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake by Frank W. Abagnale with Stan Redding

Good reads synopsis/summary:

“Frank W. Abagnale, alias Frank Williams, Robert Conrad, Frank Adams and Robert Monjo, was one of the most daring con men, forgers, impostors and escape artists in history. In his brief but notorious career, Abagnale donned a pilot's uniform and co-piloted a Pan Am jet, masqueraded as the supervising resident of a hospital, practised law without a licence, passed himself off as a college sociology professor and cashed over $2.5 million in forged cheques, all before he was 21 years old. Known by the police of 26 foreign countries and all 50 US states as 'The Skywayman', Abagnale lived a sumptuous life on the run - until the law finally caught up with him. Now recognised as America's leading authority on financial foul play, Abagnale is a charming rogue whose hilarious, stranger-than=fiction international escapes - including one from an aeroplane - make Catch Me if You Can an irresistible tale of deceit.”

Format: audio book read by Barrett Whitener (an amazing reader 10/10 for performance)

Source: Libby (app that my local library partners with)

Book started on: Jan 8th

Book finished on: Jan 8th

Book Grade (out of 100): 95

Book emojis: 🧑🏻‍✈️🪪🕵🏻🧠🧑🏻‍⚖️🚓💶🧳👮🏻‍♂️

Spoiler free thoughts: While the accompanying movie that was based off this book is far more popular, and far more talked about. The book is, in my opinion, better. The true story of frank Abagnale is far more interesting than the fictionalized version of his story portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks. I will say, I would love to read a book from the perspective of the FBI regarding this case.

This is the first time I have read this book, and frankly, I am upset that I waited this long to read it. I have seen the movie countless times over the years as it is one of my favorite movies and I think I may return to the book as well. I don’t know what it is about the story of Frank Abagnale maybe it’s the confidence, maybe it’s the stupidity, Maybe it’s the skill. Maybe, and most likely it is that you rarely hear of such serious crimes where the number of individual victims is low, while the severity of the crime is high. Frank Abagnale rarely prayed on individual people. Instead, his targets were big businesses, big banks, and large hotel chains. Even with his crimes did pray on specific people, he was so charming that the people rarely upset (except for that one model/se worker) whatever it is about his story, there is some thing, both terrifying and comforting about it.

Warnings: I suppose it would be fair to warn you that this book contains large amounts of crime. Frank focuses mainly on check fraud what does also delve into regular old fraud. There are also mentions of horrible treatments within prisons Specifically his time in a French prison is one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever read. There is also briefly a sex worker though she is not discussed much.

Do I recommend this book? Absolutely! This book is fabulous and while it doesn’t quite put the movie to shame, it does certainly top it. Regardless of whether you watch the movie or read the book I implore you to look into Frank Abagnale’s story as he is deeply interesting. It’s probably weird to say and think this, but I believe Frank may be my favorite criminal. (I am well aware that I should not have a favorite criminal.)

If you enjoyed this book and are looking for other recommendations: if you haven’t seen the movie, I would recommend the movie. If you haven’t read the book, I would recommend the book. I wish I had more things to recommend you, but I’ve simply not come across anything that affects me the way frank story does. If you have any suggestions for me, please leave them in the replies or the tags. :)

#Rosie’s book reviews 2023 #book reviews #true crime #crime #booklr #bookblr #studyblr #reading #read #reader #bookish #booksbooksbooks #bookworm #booksofinstagram #bookstagram

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floralseokjin · 3 years ago

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⤑ 9 months to fall in love 3.

It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.

Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.

Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 8,068

warnings/includes (!) tiniest mention of abortion, mentions of unprotected sex

⟶ ao3 link

*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’

↪︎ series index

SEASON ONE ⇤ previous | next ⇥

When Yuna heard what had happened she was ready to storm the AGS building.

After Jin walked out, you had no other option but to call her and ask if she could come get you. She was beside herself by the time she arrived at the hospital, demanding to know what happened. You barely managed to explain the night’s events, but it didn’t matter, because as soon as she learned what Jin had done, you couldn’t get a word in edgeways. She was absolutely livid, pacing the room as she ranted. Exhausted, you didn’t want to cause a fuss. You felt bad enough as it was calling her so late on a weeknight, and you didn’t want her losing sleep over your problems.

Strangely enough, now that the shock of Jin’s disappearance had worn off, you felt almost calm. The furious ball of anxiety inside your chest had diminished, and now all you wanted was to go home and climb into bed.

The doctor gave you a quick once over before you left and informed you to take one iron supplement each morning for the next two months. After that, you’d be due a check-up. Thanking her, you left with Yuna. Despite her insistence on spending the night, you told her to go home to Jimin, who was probably waiting up for her. Reluctantly, she listened, making you promise her you’d call in sick tomorrow. You hated having sick days, but this time it couldn’t be helped. You needed to rest and recuperate your body. You needed to be healthy for your baby.

You texted Namjoon before having a quick shower – wanting to clean the hospital smell off you immediately – and he responded straight away, despite it nearing one in the morning. You wondered if he had only just gotten back from drinks with Yoongi and Sera. The thought made you sad for a moment, imagining everyone else having a good time while you were…not. Still, Namjoon’s well wishes were nice to read.

Rest up, hope you feel better soon. Don’t worry about missing work 😳

(Although, you were positive he’d hit the wrong emoji.)

But his next message irritated you for some reason.

Yoongi did say he was worried you looked a little sick today.

You were either annoyed by people (read: Yoongi) talking about you behind your back, or annoyed at yourself for your heart doing a little flutter because of his concern. The fact of the matter was you had looked like shit at work today, and Yoongi – and probably everyone else – had noticed.

You headed to bed.

To your surprise, as soon as your head hit the pillow you knocked out and didn’t wake up until 11am. You were famished too, raiding your refrigerator and cupboards for something – anything – to eat. For the first time in nearly a week, you’d had a good night’s sleep and had felt hungry. It was great news, but also surprising. After everything that had happened last night, you thought you’d feel worse in the morning, but instead you felt lighter. All your stress had been down to one thing – one person – and now you knew where you stood with him, which was what you’d wanted all along.

You didn’t know Jin, never had, so technically speaking, nothing would be missing from your life. Granted, your baby wouldn’t know their father, but it didn’t matter. Not in this day and age. It wasn’t your fault. You had done the right thing and told him. Any guilt he might feel in the future would be down to him and him alone. You were guilt free. You kept telling yourself that.

You spent the rest of the day making sure to drink lots of water, resting up on the couch. Your first instinct had been to work on some designs, but you stopped yourself. You weren’t at work today, work didn’t exist. So instead, you browsed Netflix and decided to watch a show you’d been meaning to check out for the longest time. It felt nice to not do anything for once, and you tried not to think too hard, not wanting to ruin your relaxation time. However, soon enough, your mind wondered back to Jin, unable to stop yourself.

You might have been guilt free, but obviously you weren’t thought free…

You replayed what happened the night before. He had obviously been eager to see you again, impulsively inviting you out for dinner. Yuna was the one who had planted the initial seed: maybe he wanted a repeat of That Night, and while, yes, he had been rather forward – flirty, even – he hadn’t seemed pushy. He’d admitted he was nervous. Nervous? Around you? Although… your attitude had been a little off, so no wonder you’d put him on edge. You were nothing like how you’d acted That Night.

But, regardless of his intentions, sex or not, he had looked after you when you’d fainted, he’d driven you to the hospital, and then waited hours for you to wake up. He seemed like a good guy, so knowing he’d run off after hearing the news left you feeling a little… disappointed. One of the two things you hadn’t wanted to feel – and the second one wasn’t too far behind.

Yes, your anxiety had eased, but as the day wore on, and the more you thought, in its place grew another feeling, hurt.

But could you really blame him? You’d taken him by surprise. To want to disappear wasn’t an unthinkable reaction. You too, had wanted to run as far as your legs could carry you when you found out about your pregnancy – but obviously, you couldn’t. There was no escaping it. The baby was growing inside of you.

At the end of the day, you were the one who was left to deal with everything. He could go on with his life unaffected. The thought made you slightly bitter. You had come to terms with your pregnancy, however still nervous and scared, and now you were protective of your unborn child. Just imagining Jin getting on with his life as though nothing had happened was a stab to the gut. You wondered what he was doing right now? Maybe drafting some type of damage control plan afraid you were going to try and fleece him for all his money… You shook your head and told yourself not to be so dramatic. 1. He had no clue you knew he was a CEO, and 2. He wasn’t like that.

But then, how could you be certain? You didn’t know him at all.

Confused, and feeling strangely rejected, you secretly hoped he’d come around. If he needed time, you could give him that. Although, a heads up would have been nice. It was cruel to leave you in limbo like this. But how would he even contact you if he decided he wanted to talk? He knew less about you than you had him. In fact, the only key piece of information he knew was your first name, and that alone wasn’t very key. Well, he did know that you were a graphic designer and you worked nearby his building. Would that be enough to find you?

You knew one thing for sure, you weren’t going to go to him.

It was down to him now. It was his call.

Yuna insisted on spending the weekend with you, which you were actually thankful for. The distraction was nice – not to mention the company. Yuna and Jimin had become some sort of package deal since they’d met and gotten together, and while you’d long gotten used to it, and classed Jimin as a close friend now, it was nice to have your best friend all to yourself. It reminded you of university again – hanging out together, making food together, gossiping together… Although, the gossiping was more so ranting this weekend, the person in question obvious.

You understood why she was angry, but you didn’t want to think of Jin all weekend. For now, you’d just assume you were going it alone. It was easier than tormenting yourself with what if scenarios. What would be would be. Maybe you were destined to be a part of the co-parenting triad Yuna still liked to bring up.

After her fifth warning, Yuna finally shut up about ‘He Who Must Not Be Named This Weekend,’ and moved on to another topic: the baby.

Unbeknownst to Jimin, the wedding was being postponed so their little niece/nephew/glob could be included in the celebrations. The thought made you nervous. In just under nine months, you would be holding a baby in your arms, and you’d be an actual mother. A year after that, they’d be walking and starting to talk. Your life would be unimaginably different. The more you thought about it, the more you realised how unprepared you were. Yuna reassured you it was okay. These kinds of things weren’t instantaneous. Being a mother was a learning process – even after the baby was born, and for a long time after that, too. It had only been a week since you’d found out. No one was expecting you to be an expert straight away.

She had a point. But then again, she wasn’t the one facing impending motherhood right now.

It was part of your personality to want to be the best at something immediately, but motherhood would be different. The thought was unnerving, but you had to accept it. Glob was counting on you – and possibly only you if Jin never showed his face again.

When you woke up for work on Monday morning you felt a lot fresher than the week previous. The doctor had said the iron supplements would take at least a week to kick in, but the sleep you’d gotten had obviously righted your exhaustion, and you were no longer dehydrated. You felt a little awkward stepping inside the office, but no one really paid you much attention other than good morning greetings.

You had to keep remembering that you were the only one who knew you were pregnant. To others, you’d just been off work because you’d felt unwell, which was normal. Even for you, who rarely missed a day of work. Namjoon came by to tell you he was glad you were feeling better, and then soon after Yoongi mentioned how great it was to see your complexion back to normal. You tried to ignore how such a small comment made you feel, but it was nice that he’d noticed.

Work went by fairly slowly that day, but maybe it was because all you could think about was food. Mainly, a big, juicy cheeseburger – no, make that a double cheeseburger. Your appetite had come back with a vengeance. Just last night you had searched the overall symptoms of a person who was 5-6 weeks pregnant. Glob was now probably the size of a pea. Fatigue and anxiety aside, thankfully you hadn’t experienced any morning sickness yet. Maybe you’d be one of the lucky ones that didn’t suffer with it. That would be great, although it was still early days.

Instead, it seemed, you had turned ravenous.

By the time half 5 came around, you’d decided you were going to the nearest fast-food restaurant and taking your order home via taxi. The subway would only slow down your journey, and you were eager to eat as soon as possible. You were nearly through the office door when you heard your name being called. You turned to see Yoongi.

“Wait up, we’ll walk down together.”

You smiled, coming to halt, but then you caught sight of Sera beside him. Of course. They walked out together every day because Yoongi drove her to and from work. That’s how their romance had ‘bloomed’ – you’d heard the story countless times because Sera loved telling it.

“Doing anything interesting tonight?” Yoongi asked as they caught up to you. Sera linked her arm through his and smiled at you. It wasn’t the most believable of actions.

Ignoring her, you hit the button for the elevator. “I’ve been craving a greasy burger all day, so I’m on my way to get that and then do nothing all night.” Hearing yourself, you felt a little self-conscious. “Very boring, I know.”

“Not at all,” Yoongi was quick to dispute. “Sounds like my type of night.”

You grinned, unable to help it, and for a moment your eyes met, his gaze softening. There was always something so calming about his gaze. Supportive, encouraging… You could go on, but it would just be embarrassing. All three of you stepped inside the elevator, and Yoongi pressed the button for the ground floor.

“We’re having a quiet night in, aren’t we, Yoongi?” Sera’s voice morphed into that cutesy tone she often used when talking to him. You couldn’t tell if it was for his benefit or something else entirely. Did she think she was making you jealous?

Yoongi nodded and chuckled, glancing down at her, but she was looking at you, directing her next sentence your way.

“I love staying over his place. It’s so cosy, and his bed is like the biggest bed I’ve ever slept in.”

“Oh yeah?” you humoured her, stepping out first when the doors opened.

“It’s not that big, babe. You’re just small,” you heard Yoongi tell her fondly from behind you, and for some reason, that hurt a lot more than Sera’s poor attempt at provoking you.

You reached the main door to the building Artkive was located in and lifted your hand up to say goodbye. You went one way, while those two always went the other.

“See you tomorrow,” Yoongi said cheerfully, Sera giggling by his side as she cuddled up to him.

Sometimes you wondered what that felt like. Such a simple act of affection. It had been a long time since you’d experienced something like that, so long in fact, it was difficult to remember. Not that you wanted to remember the man who had been able to induce such a reaction from you. He had broken your heart after all.

Lost in thought, you almost didn’t recognise the person leaning against the wall of the adjacent building. You came to a sudden halt when you did, frozen with disbelief.

“____,” Jin said softly, standing straight. His expression was downcast and he looked visibly exhausted, but instead of feeling sorry for him, anger gathered in your chest.

After all the conflicting emotions you’d battled with on the weekend, it seemed fury had won.

“What do you want?” you bit, beginning to stomp off now that the shock had worn away.

“Can we please just talk for a moment?” He rushed after you, his voice low as you passed by throngs of people on their way home from work too. He obviously didn’t want to create a scene. You didn’t either come to think of it, glancing around in hopes that none of your co-workers were nearby.

“Ten minutes of your time,” he urged, managing to get in front of you. “Five minutes, even.”

You crossed your arms, aware you were in people’s way. Stepping to the side, just under the canopy of a patisserie, you stared at Jin with a clenched jaw. “Why should I?”

Inside, you told yourself not to be so stubborn. Hadn’t you agreed with yourself to give him time? To give him a chance? But seeing him now, stood in front of you with that stupid remorseful look on your face, you felt furious at him. How had he even found you?!

“Please, ____,” he pleaded. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I just want to explain.”

You didn’t reply, unsure what you wanted to say to be honest, but Jin took it as rejection.

“Please. Then you’re free to make whatever decision you want. I’ll respect it—” Stopping abruptly, his voice broke with emotion. “Of course I will.”

You wavered, noticing his eyes shiny with tears. Feeling awkward, you grabbed the shoulder strap of your purse. “Fine.”

Jin’s face lit up somewhat, hopeful, yet still hesitant.

“I’m grabbing a burger. Want one?”

You had to admit the image of Jin eating a messy burger dressed in a buttoned-up cardigan was pretty humorous. Even if you were mad at him. And even more so after he’d tried to pay for your food.

You hadn’t wanted to sit inside the noisy restaurant, but you didn’t have much of an option now. At least you got to eat sooner, though… You were so hungry, having craved this all day, you didn’t even care how you looked while you urgently tucked in. It was the complete opposite of how you ate your food Thursday night, but if Jin noticed he said nothing. Instead, he looked across at you warily. Shoving three fries into your mouth, you felt yourself growing irritated. He was the one that wanted to talk. No, actually, he was the one who needed to talk.

“How did you know where I worked?”

Jin glanced down, a guilty look on his face. “I saw your lanyard when I got your phone. Had to Google the building.”

Oh. You opened your mouth to reply, but paused, unsure what to say. Jin however, was continuing. It seemed like he’d finally gained the courage to explain himself.

“I’m truly sorry for running off and leaving you like that.” He looked into your eyes, his gaze serious as if he was desperate for you to see how sincere he was being. “I didn’t plan it, I want you to know that. I found the water cooler with every intention to come back and talk but I…” He let his eyes fall to the table as he trailed off, idly pulling a shred of lettuce out of his burger.

You kept watching his face, the process of demolishing your food slowing down. He was ashamed of himself, that much was obvious.

“I drunk a lot of water, and then I poured you some, but I just…” He looked at you again, sounding remorseful, defeated almost. “I freaked out, ____. I couldn’t think straight.”

Silence stretched between you as you processed what he was telling you. He wasn’t making excuses for himself, he was just being honest with you. Your anger simmered down.

“Jin,” you finally sighed, not wanting to make it this easy for him, but feeling bad for him either way. “Freaking out was to be expected. I took you by surprise telling you like that.” But he still shouldn’t have left without letting you know.

He nodded his head, mulling your words over. “But then… I don’t think there would have been an un-surprising way to tell me.”

The corner of your mouth twitched, fighting a smile. He had a point.

Letting out a breath, he ran a hand over his face. “I hate that that was one of your first impressions of me… Insensitive, heartless, just a terrible person in general… I could go on.”

“I don’t think any of those things,” you informed him, making his eyebrows lift slightly. “I don’t know you well enough to begin forming opinions on you.”

He had disappointed you and hurt you, and you had wondered briefly what kind of person he truly was, but it wasn’t fair to just write him off. He deserved a chance. He was here now. He knew what he’d done was shitty, that was obvious. Your baby deserved to know their father, you couldn’t tell him to leave you alone because your feelings had been hurt. Even though the thought had crossed your mind when you’d first seen him. However, it wasn’t about you now. You had to think of glob.

Jin shook his head. It seemed like he didn’t think he deserved your kindness. “I didn’t even ask how the baby was after you fainted. I just ran off like a fucking idiot. I left you stranded at the hospital.”

Hearing him swear was pretty refreshing, and it made you smile. As did it make you remember a few things from That Night. You were unstoppable it seemed, even during a situation like this.

“I wasn’t stranded,” you reassured, “and the baby is fine.” Your hand reflexively moved to your stomach underneath the table.

“And you?” Jin asked, looking relieved.

“I’m fine too. I was just stressed thinking of ways to find and tell you. I neglected my health, and I feel really guilty about it.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault at all,” he told you, frowning with concern. “It was a difficult situation to be in. I can’t even begin to imagine… and I didn’t make it any better.” He shook his head, as if to rid his thoughts. “You look a lot healthier.”

Unable to help it, you let out a small, definitely unattractive, snort. “Than the waxy, death warmed up me from Thursday night?”

Jin chuckled softly. “You said that, not me.” Then, he motioned to your forgotten burger and fries. “Eat your food, it’s going to get cold.”

Right. That’s why you’d come here. For a few minutes you both ate in silence, but it wasn’t particularly uncomfortable – despite everything. You were eating with a grovelling one-night stand, who had gotten you pregnant and then ran away once you’d dropped the news. You couldn’t make this stuff up. Fighting the urge to break into laughter, you covered your mouth with a napkin. As you glanced over at Jin, he smiled.

“I see you prefer greasy food over seafood. Noted.”

Your eyebrows shot up. What did that mean? Why did he need to remember that? Still, you politely replied. “I’m just so hungry I could eat a horse right now.”

“Is that like…some sort of craving thing?” He seemed slightly awkward to be asking such a thing. Not that you blamed him. This was new for him. New for you too, but you’d had longer to process.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “I’m not too sure when cravings start.”

“I’ll look it up tonight,” he murmured, almost as if he was talking to himself. Then, he met your eyes, confessing something sheepishly. “I don’t know much about babies or children. My brother has two, but being an uncle’s different, right?”

“I would imagine so.”

You wanted to tell him you didn’t know much either. You had still been quite young when your half-siblings had been born. The words wouldn’t come out though. Maybe you were acting too closed off again. You didn’t mean to. It just felt strange to talk like this with him. You now knew he had a brother. Was he older? Younger? Should you ask? Maybe it would come across as prying. He didn’t owe you any details about his life after all.

“How did you get home from the hospital?” Jin asked after a moment, saving you from your irrational thoughts.

“Oh, I called my friend.” You tried to sound casual, not wanting him to dwell on what he had done any longer.

It didn’t work.

“I really shouldn’t have left you,” he said quietly, crumpling a napkin in his fist.

“It’s fine, Jin,” you reassured, surprising yourself with how understanding you were being. Or maybe it wasn’t a surprise at all. Anger having faded, you were thinking clearly again. Privately you had been holding out for him to appear. You were happy he had. You gave him a little smile. “I’m just glad you’re here now.”

He returned the action, his tense shoulders relaxing. “I’m glad I’m here, too.” He leaned in, gaze steady. “I want to be here. For the baby. If you’ll have me.”

“You mean it?”

He nodded. “I spent the entire weekend thinking, going around and around. There was only one option.” He paused, holding your eyes with his. “I want to be a father to our baby. Whatever you want. Whatever you need. No questions asked.”

You felt your heart flutter, a strong wave of emotion washing over you. You didn’t realise how much you had wanted to hear that from him, and the fact that having the baby was the only option for him as well, no thought of an abortion. You felt instant relief. All those sleepless nights, all the anxiety and overthinking… This right here, in the middle of a crowded fast-food restaurant, was the perfect scenario. This was what you had wanted.

“Glob will be happy to hear that,” you said without thinking, an easy grin on your face.

Jin’s eyebrows pinched together, puzzled. “Glob?”

“Oh…right.”

Damn Yuna and her stupid nickname.

“Sorry. Yuna came up with that nickname when I found out and it’s just sort of stuck. Unfortunately.”

Wait. He didn’t even know who Yuna was.

“Yuna’s the one you were with that night, right?”

Or maybe he did. You remembered briefly talking about her That Night, but not if you’d mentioned her by name. You obviously had though, and he had a very good memory.

“Yeah, that’s her.”

“And Glob is our baby,” he laughed.

The way he kept saying ‘our baby’ was making you feel strange (in a good way). He said it so freely, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Okay, it’s a weird nickname, but I can get on board with it,” he continued to laugh.

You joined in before sipping your drink. For the first time in over a week you felt relaxed.

Jin brought a fry to his mouth, and glanced at you, his plump lips curving into a smile. Then he shook his head slightly, beginning to eat.

“What?”

He smiled wider. It really was a devastating smile. It made him even more handsome. “It’s nothing, I just…” His face contorted for a moment before he carried on. “I was terrified you’d hate me. I had no other way of contacting you, so I had to wait until today. I thought it would be too late…”

“Late would have been a few weeks from now,” you replied simply.

He looked at you carefully, smiling again, and then said in a joking tone: “You’re pretty intimidating, do you know that?”

“Me?” you laughed in disbelief. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Just like that night…”

Your gazes held for a moment before you averted yours, brushing him off. “You’re obviously very easily intimidated then.”

He shrugged casually. You could feel him staring at you, but you didn’t look him in the eyes again. “Only when it comes to very beautiful women.”

You face heated up immediately. What the hell? Was he flirting with you again? Despite everything that had happened? You cleared your throat, deciding not to reply. There was no fitting response to that anyway. But he had very noticeably embarrassed you, so he probably didn’t need one.

A few moments later, his tone was serious again, gentle and earnest. “I’m just so thankful you’ve given me a chance.”

You found the courage to look him in the eyes, staring at him pointedly. “Just promise not to run off again?”

He began to laugh, knowing you were teasing him. “I promise.” It was a unique sound, sort of dorky. You hadn’t heard it during That Night.

“Can I just ask something?” you said, again feigning seriousness. Jin’s expression shifted and he nodded. “Be honest. Was it payback for when I did the same?”

This time you laughed with him. Maybe you were giddy with the good news. You hadn’t laughed properly for days.

“You’ve taken this a lot better than I expected,” you mused, which earned you a ‘REALLY?’ look from him. You laughed harder. Okay, you’d meant after he’d run off. He seemed to have processed the news fairly easily after the initial shock. It was a pleasant surprise, but still… You had not been expecting it.

Jin gave you a small smile. “It was a rough couple of days, not gonna lie, but it…it was mostly down to guilt for leaving you.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond. “It still feels surreal, don’t get me wrong, but, it happened. It’s happening. I’m going to be a dad.” His smile grew proud.

You looked down at the table, his happiness overwhelming you. Surreal, indeed. “Hey, I was thinking…” you started awkwardly. “We could take a paternity test, if you like. If you want to know for sure—”

“Oh god, no,” he stopped you, looking mortified. “That stupid question I asked you back at the hospital, ignore it. I was… I was being an idiot.”

You regarded him carefully. It wasn’t that stupid a question. It had momentarily offended you, yes, but in his defence, you were a complete stranger to him. How could he be so sure the baby was his? It was, obviously, but only you knew that for certain. He was very trusting. Naïve, maybe, but then you remembered he was the CEO of a successful gaming company. Something he didn’t know you knew yet.

“Okay, well, either way,” you replied, “you’re definitely the father. I haven’t slept with anyone else.” In a long time, you finished off in your head. “And while we’re on the topic,” – you looked around, careful to keep your voice low – “I really was on birth control. I don’t want you to think I was lying when I said that. I don’t know what happened for certain, and I’m really sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry,” he frowned, his tone just as quiet as he leaned in. “I chose not to wear a condom, right? I could have easily gotten one.”

It struck you then how odd this conversation was to have in such a crowded place. It was comical actually. At least your table wasn’t attached to someone else’s, in fear of being overheard.

“These things happen,” Jin continued, “and we shouldn’t be sorry, because now we-we’ve…” He trailed off, chuckling awkwardly. “Ah,” he tried again, “we’ve created… —What’s a non-cheesy way to say this?”

“We made a baby?” you laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “We’ve created another human.”

You grimaced. “Don’t scare me. I’m the one that’s going to be carrying said new human around for 9 months.”

That made him laugh, and for some reason it made you feel good. You had made him laugh quite a lot That Night. He’d made you laugh too…

“Sorry,” he apologised, hands up. Your eyes fell to his forearms – he’d rolled up his sleeves to eat. No man should look that good in a cardigan. “So…have you told anyone else yet?”

His question interrupted your pointless observations. “Besides Yuna, no. I wanted you to know as soon as possible, and to be honest, the thought of telling my family is a little…” – you gritted your teeth together, shuddering – “given the situation.”

“No, I get it. I doubt it’s what your parents want to hear, really. Knocked up by a stranger…”

You laughed softly. He’d hit the nail on the head… Amongst other things. “What about you?”

Jin looked down. “I didn’t think it was appropriate to start telling people, what with the way I reacted.”

“You should tell someone you’re close with at least,” you suggested gently. “It’s your news too. And… we all need someone to be there for us.”

Despite Yuna’s lack of tact most of the time, she was the closest person to you, and that would never change. Without her, these past couple of days included, you wouldn’t know where you’d be. She’d always been there for you. Jin had to have somebody like that in his life, right?

He looked up at your words, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something, but then he stopped himself, swallowing before nodding in agreement. “You know,” he said after a couple of seconds. “We should probably start getting to know one another properly now.”

“We should,” you agreed, smiling a little. You needed to stop being strangers. “You already know my name, age – if you remember. it?”

He had told you his age too, but it wasn’t until you’d seen it online had you been reminded. It had been your mission to completely forget about That Night before you found out you were pregnant. Now you felt guilty.

“I do,” he chuckled. “I remember everything you said to me.”

Ignoring the potential subtext of his words – and ignoring the way your cheeks grew hot – you continued listing things off. “My place of work… My best friend’s name… That I may or may not have cravings for greasy food now… Which by the way, nobody knows but you.”

“I consider myself blessed.”

Your mouth quirked up. “What about you?

“Name, age,” – he lifted up his fingers as he reeled things off – “I’m not big on greasy food, to be honest.” Yet he had eaten some with you. “I have two best friends. Hoseok and Jungkook.”

You repeated the names inside your mind, hoping to remember them, and happy to learn he did in fact have people he could confide in.

“And hey, uh,” he chuckled uneasily, attempting to look you in the eyes but failing. “This is awkward, but I, um, I told you I worked at AGS, right?”

You knew what was coming immediately, almost wanting to rush in and put him out of his misery, but then you would have to admit to Googling him. So instead, you nodded.

“Well, I,” he stopped to swallow, and then gave another awkward chuckle. “I, uh…I actually own AGS.” He managed to make eye contact. “I’m the CEO.”

“I know,” you admitted. He was looking so guilt ridden, you couldn’t not. “Well, I knew you were the CEO, but I didn’t know you actually owned the company.”

They were most of the time different things. Especially if the business was successful – and not to mention sizeable. He’d created a gaming company? Impressive. Actually, you were stunned to be quite honest, too many questions on the tip of your tongue, but you held back because: 1. You didn’t want to appear nosey and 2. He was looking completely baffled right now.

“How did you know?”

You pushed away your mortification in a bid to explain yourself. Although, if you thought about it, Googling him hadn’t been so bizarre. He had searched Artkive too, to find out where it was located. Granted, you were just an average employer, with zero web presence, so if he had looked up your name, all he would have found were barely updated social media profiles, but still. He’d found you via the Internet. Just like you had found him.

You gave him the condensed version but made sure to mention your daily stakeouts from inside Café Cosy and the humiliating phone call with front desk. That was how you’d found out he was the CEO after all.

“Oh, god,” he said through a slight laugh. “I’m sorry. That sounds so awkward.”

“It was!” you exclaimed, a laugh of your own escaping. You were glad to see the funny side now. Last week it had been anything but. Regarding him, you narrowed your eyes. “Do you make it a habit of sleeping with people and then getting your receptionist to palm them off?”

Jin chuckled, but his face had turned a little red. Was he embarrassed that you’d teased him? “No, I already said that night was a one off for me.”

Either way, his ‘that night’ sounded very different to your ‘That Night.’ He said it a lot more casually, while you on the other hand, only had to think those two words before you got flustered as the memories immediately appeared once again.

“But I am sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s fine,” you shrugged. “I just thought it was a safety precaution.”

“Safety precaution?” He seemed lost.

“Well, yeah, so you don’t have people throwing themselves at you left and right,” you explained awkwardly.

He snorted, surprising you. “I’ve never experienced that before.” You raised an eyebrow, sceptical. He was obviously rich and looked like that. You had your doubts he was telling the truth. “Really,” he laughed, before turning bashful. “I just… I didn’t want to make it seem as though I was bragging.”

Surprised by how genuine he sounded, you smiled. “Alright, well don’t worry, because I won’t try to extort you for all your money now that I know.”

You probably didn’t know him well enough to joke around like that, but he seemed to find it funny, laughing again.

“That’s good to know. Although… I mean, our baby can have whatever they want – and you, too.” He held your gaze. “I’ll look after you both.”

Speechless, your mouth opened and then closed again. What could you say to that? It wasn’t something you’d particularly thought about, but in hindsight, maybe you should have. To save you from this awkward moment. Should you be offended? Or thankful for his generosity? Or maybe you should just not feel anything at all… Despite not being interested in his money, it only made sense he would want to help you out. You didn’t need it personally, but his baby would.

“Let’s just get to that as it comes,” you replied finally, not wanting to get into it right now.

“Sure.” Jin sat back, shaking his head at himself. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

“It wasn’t awkward until you said that.” At your words he looked up, stricken – and then he saw your grin. “I’m kidding!”

He relaxed a little, chuckling under his breath.

After your conversation gradually drew to a close, Jin offered to drive you home, and you gladly accepted. His car was still parked at his office so you walked together, making small talk as you went. You already felt a lot more relaxed around him, which probably shouldn’t be that surprising, really. He’d made you feel relaxed enough to sleep with him That Night. There was a friendliness about him, a warmth. A major positive considering you were going to parent together. Thinking this, you smiled to yourself. Despite all your worries these past 10 days or so, it was clear to see now that Jin would have no problem stepping up. He was a good person, and even though you hardly knew him, you were confident he’d be a good father.

Catching you, Jin asked: “What’s that smile for?”

For a moment, you recalled him asking you the exact same thing as you raced to the nearest hotel. You had been smiling from sheer anticipation and excitement then, and now… Well, you guessed you were still feeling both those things, but in a different way now…

“Nothing,” you smiled harder. “Today’s just turned out to be a good day, that’s all.”

His own smile grew as he agreed. “Yeah, it has.”

Jin’s car was nice, to put it simply. You’d been too out of it to pay attention last time. You didn’t need to know one thing about cars (no, but really, you didn’t even know how to drive) to understand this thing was expensive. The rich smell of leather was more than enough, and you vaguely remembered curling up in the passenger’s seat as sleep overcame you a few awful nights ago. You smiled again. Jin had been kind then too, driving you to the hospital and staying with you…

Parked outside your home, you exchanged numbers, Jin assuring you he would keep in contact often. He led a busy life, but he promised you he’d be there at the drop of a hat if you needed something. More than thankful, you made movements to exit his car, but he called you back suddenly.

“You know what you said earlier?”

“Hm?” you wondered, needing him to be specific.

He looked down, a little awkward. “About we all need someone to be there for us?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see.

He hesitated. “Well, I’m just putting it out there,” – he looked at you again, something unreadable in his eyes – “but I can… We can be there for one another, if you’d like to try.”

You stared at him blankly, confused by what he was saying. “What do you mean?”

He chuckled uneasily and rubbed his face. “Sorry, I’m terrible at this stuff.” Taking a breath, as if he was attempting to gain courage, he spoke in a rush. “I mean, if you want to, we could try and see where this goes. It’s backward I know—”

“No,” you cut in, completely taken aback. Then, belatedly, seeing the look on his face, you realised how rude you’d sounded. Tongue-tied, you tried to explain yourself. “I don’t expect that, Jin,” you managed finally. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to give more than you need to.”

“I don’t feel like th—”

“I know this isn’t the ideal scenario,” you continued, aware you were talking over him but couldn’t stop. “We’re practically strangers and hardly know anything about one another except the bare minimum, but we’ll work it out.” You smiled at him. “Just knowing you want to be involved means the world to me. I don’t expect you to step up like…that.” When he didn’t respond you prompted softly: “Okay?”

Jin stared at you for a moment before averting his gaze and chuckling softly. “Yeah… Ha, that was kind of presumptuous of me. I’m sorry.” He sounded embarrassed.

“No,” you replied. “It wasn’t. It was actually really nice.” Hearing that, he glanced at you curiously. “But I’m not looking for that, and I imagine neither are you.” Then, you chuckled. “Trying to have a relationship with the stranger carrying your baby is just… I doubt you really want to do that.”

“You’re not a stranger,” he insisted with a frown. “Not anymore.”

You sighed softly. “I guess. I just… I want our baby to have the happiest life. Happy parents make a happy baby. The last thing we should do is force something that we don’t really want.”

Jin opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but closed it again. You took his silence as agreement.

“We’ll get this co-parenting thing down, I know we will,” you grinned encouragingly.

He grinned back, glancing down. “Yeah, of course we will.”

Opening the car door again, you stepped out.

“Bye, ____.”

“Bye, Jin.” You turned back to him. “Thanks for the ride home.”

Nodding his head, he gave you a wave. “I’ll text you tomorrow,” he called as you closed the door behind you.

You gave him your fast becoming popular two thumbs up and internally cringed at yourself as you rushed inside your house.

Seokjin stayed parked up for a few minutes after you left, processing everything that had just happened. He could feel the embarrassment hot against his face. Thankfully, he didn’t think you’d noticed.

Running a hand through his hair, he hung his head. What the hell were you thinking, you fool, he chided himself. Why had he suggested something like that? So out of the blue?

Things were different from how they were a few days ago – finding out he was going to be a father aside. On Thursday, when he’d seen you at Café Cosy, he felt as though it was a sign from the universe. All his wildest dreams come true. The dormant romantic in him finally able to celebrate. He had spent the three weeks previous unable to stop thinking about you. Wishing he’d woken up before you, regretting that he’d never asked where you worked, imagining bumping into you in the street… The list went on, and it was very long one. He had felt as though he was losing his mind. Even Hoseok and Jungkook were baffled by his infatuation.

Seokjin couldn’t explain it. You’d come out of nowhere and then disappeared just as quick, but you had lingered there, in his mind, in his body…

For him, that night had been amazing because your chemistry together had been unexplainable. And not only sexually, although truthfully, it had been one of the deciding factors – he’d never been so turned on in his entire life as he had been around you. But regardless of that, there was a spark there, sex or not. He had never felt a connection like it, and he didn’t care if he was being dramatic. His mother had been trying to find him the perfect match for years, yet he had never been interested enough to see if it could happen. To believe that it could happen.

And then you’d come along and knocked him for six.

However, it seemed like he was the only one who felt like that. Which is why you had left before he’d had a chance to wake up. Bottom line was, you hadn’t wanted to see him again, and the only reason that didn’t work out was because you were now pregnant with his baby. He had to accept that to be able to stop the way he’d been feeling for the past month. In a moment of weakness, the situation still very unreal, he’d made an idiot out of himself and awkwardly put you on the spot.

What was he expecting to happen? You’d agree to his crazy proposal and you’d start dating and fall in love? Jesus, he needed a good night’s sleep just to clear his mind. You still saw him as a stranger, for crying out loud.

Although, what you said had made complete and utter sense. Forcing something between the two of you would be a disaster. It would only ruin things if it didn’t work out. But then… he hadn’t been suggesting you begin a relationship immediately. He had just wanted to give it a chance, to see where it could lead if you both opened up to the possibility. He was just terrible at explaining things, despite being a successful businessman. Or maybe he was just terrible at love… Maybe all these years of being single had addled his brain. A single one-night stand and he thought it was the love story of the century.

He let his head fall back against the headrest, feeling at a loss. This wasn’t how he’d imagined having his first child, and he doubted you thought any different. Whenever he’d imagined having his own family someday, he was married and in love. Although, these days, for the longest time actually, the idea of a family felt as though it was out of reach. Work had become his life a long time ago, leaving little to no room for relationships and love – not that he had much desire for it back in the early years. Now? Now, he was getting older and realising making money wasn’t the be-all end-all of life. Although, pompously, maybe he could say that now he’d made his fortune.

With a sigh, he started up the car. He had more important things to concentrate on now, instead of worrying about his ego getting a bashing from you. He was having a baby. He was going to be a dad. Technically, he was already one – in the making – right now. He needed to put his all into it, his guilty conscious still there after he’d left you at the hospital. No matter how many times he said sorry, words were just that. He needed to show you with actions.

He admired you so much, confusing feelings aside. He had run off and abandoned you when you’d needed him the most and yet you had given him another chance so easily. He was aware he didn’t deserve it, but beyond thankful that you had heard him out. He knew without a doubt this entire situation had been – and was – so much harder for you than him. He couldn’t begin to imagine the stress you’d been under since you’d found out the news, and he had only made that worse when he’d left you. He’d made you believe that he didn’t want anything to do with the baby when that wasn’t the case.

He was serious about this, no matter the slight shock he was still in.

He wanted this, no matter how it was.

Sometimes life didn’t work out how people imagined it to, and that was all right.

He had always been an adapter, a hard worker.

And he would work hard not to be a stranger to you anymore…

Written 2022. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2022

#seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #fic:9mtfil #floralseokjin:writings

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years ago

Text

The Night Screams at The Slumber Island (Loki x Female Reader) (Horror Romance) (Dark) (Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 14 here //Series Masterlist

Chapter 15

Summary : Loki is there for you when you need him. He'd always be there as long as you truly need him.

Warning: Steamy stuff, 18+, discussion of rape, discussion of threesomes and poly relationships, sexual abuse, gaslighting, cheating, mention of Suicide, discussion of mental illness, therapy please read carefully. If something triggers you please don’t read it

After Stephen left and you calmed down a little you tried to call him, to tell him that Nat was alive but his cellphone wasn't reachable of course and when you reached the dock you realized that he had left already.

"Y/n" you heard a familiar voice and felt the anger building up again, you turned around to glare at him. What was he doing here still?

"You were supposed to leave, where is Stephen?" You asked the man who used to be your world just a few years ago, you pictured your whole life with him, a forever and then he decided to crap on the relationship you had built for years. James, the man who claimed to love you but didn't think a second before he destroyed you.

"He left via the evening ferry"

"And you didn't because????" You crossed your arms so he walked closer to you but the more he closed the distance the worse you felt about it.

"I couldn't leave without talking to you first..I..I know I have made a mistake but you won't even talk to me–" before he could say anything more you stopped him mid sentence, that was more than enough.

"Mistake huh? So It was a mistake that made you fuck Carol over and over again behind my back? And how many times did you visit me in the hospital James?" Your eyes teared up as you spoke, the wounds he left behind when he stomped on your heart mercilessly were still there.

"I felt guilty and responsible..it was my fault that you even got into the accident -" just like last time you interrupted him but not with words this time, you walked past him and he started following you so you turned around and glared at him

"Don't you dare follow me–"

"Where will I stay..the next ferry leaves in the morning"

"It's not my problem, I didn't ask you to stay..go die for all I care" you screamed and that made the dock workers turn their heads to look at you, before things could escalate you walked away and on the way you noticed Clint's house, you saw a woman peeking from window and you realized that it was Natasha. Why did she marry him? Did he save her? You felt confused but you knew talking to her right now would make your lives miserable and you probably would end up at the same place.

You continued to walk towards your house and couldn't help but think about Loki..one thing was clear to you now that you never were hallucinating him, he was there with you since your mother died like he said. He saved you the last time, he had you in his arms and you only got a glimpse of him under the starry night, he didn't look how he does now, not like a human, he had a beautiful leathery attire with golden horns on top of his head, he looked majestic like a prince like a god, it was very brief before you had slipped into the unconsciousness but you forgot about him when you woke up because he reminded you of this place and Natasha.

"Y/n just talk to me for god's sake" you heard James's voice and groaned internally, he was still following you.

You saw Steve approaching you and sighed, it just wasn't your day. You had never liked this guy ever since you got here and now you understood why.

"Is that guy bothering you? Do you know him?" He asked you and you shook your head,

"I mean I do know him but …is there a place here he could stay for the night?" You asked him and he sighed.

"Can't say there is. This is not a resort and all the houses are residential. Maybe he can go talk to the Sheriff" Steve said to you as he glared at James, you didn't want any drama so you excused yourself and continued to walk, as you reached the house you unlocked the door and got inside, not caring about him whatsoever. There was only one person you wanted to talk to right now but he had disappeared ofcourse.

After showering as you finally sat down to process everything the tears couldn't stop coming, you felt awful about your life, your existence as a whole, you dragged Nat here and possibly ruined her life too, she just wanted you to be happy again and you only made everything worse for her. Even though the man you had spent years with was in an approaching distance you felt lonelier than ever and you missed him. You missed Loki. You grabbed the shirt he had given you a few hours ago and clutched onto it as the tears kept streaming down your face.

"I need to talk to you…pleasee" your broken voice murmured in the quietness of the room and as soon as you had finished your words you felt the mattress dipping next to you, when you opened your eyes you saw him.

"I am here" you wiped your tears as he spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" You turned your head to look at him and his eyes were teary.

"I didn't want to hurt you darling..your mind was fragile and–"

"So you continued to lie"

"I did not lie..I just hid the truth..a part of it" You chuckled as he said that,

"That's what people say huh..that's what they say to fool me"

"I never want to befool you, I am not even supposed to be here" you stood up as he spoke and turned towards him, your arms crossed again as you glared at him

"Well you can leave then ..I don't need you or anybody"

"Don't do that"

"Do what?"

"This..don't push me away, you know you don't want to" you looked down as your eyes filled up again,

"I trusted you" broken sobs escaped your lips so he grabbed your hands in the hope that you won't get startled by his touch but he really needed you to need him because he couldn't have been there for you if you didn't. He was already outcasted by his own because he chose to come here and he chose to reveal his existence in front of a mortal knowing the repercussions he will have to face for breaking the rules.

"And I am not trying to hurt you or betray you, I would never do that to you, you can trust me..you had to remember the truth on your own, I couldn't have helped you"

"They could have hurt me …again "

"I won't allow it, I would protect you all your life but your friend..the doctor? He wasn't wrong, you can't live your whole life like this, being holed up here and pretending as if the world out there does not exist" he tugged on your fingers as he noticed your form breaking down, he knew you were feeling overwhelmed so he pulled you closer to him slowly and made you sit on his lap, your arms flung around his neck as you clutched onto him tightly.

"People are bad, so bad. They are awful, I can never trust anyone ever again so how am I supposed to go out there and pretend as if everything is alright" you sniffled between your sentences and the sobs broke his heart, he wished he could have taken all your pain away but it wasn't possible.

"I know they are, and I know it would never be easy to open your heart for them again, not after everything you have been through but you are still here aren't you? You are so strong and you still have a purpose to fulfill, you still have a life to live my darling " you pulled away from him to look at him and as a tear slipped past his left eye you wiped it away with your thumb. He was so close to you and you wanted to kiss him but now feared that your feelings were growing for him in a way that you knew won't get reciprocated, afterall he was a god and you were just a hopeless mortal. Who was to say he didn't have other mortals who needed him the way you did.

"What did you mean when you said you weren't supposed to be here?" You asked him and he sighed deeply.

"I am not supposed to reveal myself in front of mortals, as gods we get certain privileges of course, we can make use of them from time to time, long life you see and we get to choose our distractions but we can never allow mortals to see us as gods or reveal our true nature in front of them"

"But you did ..the last time I saw you .."

"I am aware of that" the corner of his mouth curved into a smile but his eyes seemed pained.

"Any repercussions?"

"That's my burden to bear little one, you do not have to worry"

You wanted to ask more and get to know him more, you wanted to know if he got into trouble because of you, if you were the reason his home wasn't his home anymore, but you sewn your lips shut by latching them onto his lips, placing your hands on your chest you pushed him on the bed slowly. He was kissing you with the same intensity and passion but he knew he had to stop for now so he cupped your cheeks and pulled you away,

"You are vulnerable love and I don't want you to distract yourself this way, as much as I would enjoy that you have a visitor waiting outside your house" you sighed as he reminded you of James.

"Should I talk to him?"

He nodded as you asked him, what was he supposed to say? He hated the thought of you talking to him or just being around him, he never deserved your loyalty but maybe talking to him will bring you atleast some closure and peace in life.

"And you know you need to get him out of here, it's not safe" you hummed as he said that.

"Okayyy" you got off him so he sat up slowly, for a moment while you were so engrossed into him, you didn't feel worried, you didn't get any flashes, and you didn't want to push him away. You wanted to do the opposite, you wanted to take the intimacy further and deeper. He came with a net of safety and you loved the feeling of being cocooned in that net when you were with him.

"I'm going to make coffee and talk to him.. I guess he'll have to stay here for the night and I won't see you" Loki nodded in response, he wasn't your lover and he had no right to feel animosity towards a man who used to be your lover once but still there he was burning green with envy and jealousy. He couldn't help but wonder if there were some unresolved feelings you still held for your ex.

Before you could walk past the bedroom door, you turned around to look at him but he was gone, disappeared like he always did, you had no idea where he disappeared to, was there a place he went to? You knew nothing about him but one thing was clear, you wanted him and you needed him in your life now.

You made a cup of coffee and opened the door, you found James sitting on the porch, so you passed the cup to him before you leaned yourself against the pillar.

"Take the ferry in the morning tomorrow and I want you out of here"

You mumbled in a no nonsense tone and he chuckled.

"I miss that you know.. "

"Miss what?"

"Just you being…you"

You ignored his pleading eyes, you were done with him the day you found him buck naked on top of your another friend "Stephen told me you were hallucinating.. about some guy named Loki..the god maybe" you gulped as he mentioned Loki, people knew him as a legend, like a myth, some believed in his existence like your mother did but you knew him up close and personal now.

"Well I'm a certified loony toon now you see, I see things and hear things"

"Don't say that..So how did he look in your imagination?"

"Like a man, a handsome one"

"Hmmm your mom always said that too right?" he chuckled and you rolled your eyes. Well your mom didn't get to suck his lips. You often wondered if her soul was restless and cursing you from beyond the grave. You stole her pretend husband.

"Like mother, like daughter, you can sleep on the couch." you stepped inside the house so he got up and followed you, he looked around as he entered the small house.

"Y/n?" You looked at him as he called out your name "I'm sorry I ruined everything..I really am, I know I'm not forgivable and I don't think I'm here for that"

"Why are you here James?" You huffed, the resentment you had for him was unreal.

"I just.. want you to move on and be happy..that's it. I know I have hurt you deeply and I don't expect you to forgive me but..I need you to make your peace with it" you snickered as he said that.

"Easy for you to say that isn't it?"

"It's not easy for me..It never was, I wasn't with you for so long without feeling anything for you, I loved you too..it just faded with time and I know I fucked up, there's nothing I can say or do to justify it"

"You tried to gaslight me into believing that you didn't cheat on me" You remembered how he tried to convince you that he never really cheated on you. He was more messed up then you could have ever imagined him to be.

"I know I did…because when I actually lost what he had, I felt so alone, I was desperate to have you back so I kept fucking up and I'm so sorry..you didn't deserve any of that" his eyes teared up as he finished his words but you couldn't bring your heart to feel bad about it.

"What did I do to make you ..not be in love with me anymore?" Your lips trembled as you spoke, that thought has haunted you since you found him in bed with another woman, what did you do wrong? What was your fault? When did he start to fall out of love with you? When did you start to annoy him? What was that exact moment where you did something and he had a moment of realization that he didn't love you anymore? You wanted an answer but you knew the answers would only hurt you further.

"You did nothing..it just happened. I couldn't control it, we were drifting apart and I was attracted to her. I tried to make it work but I should have been honest with you" you looked to the side as you couldn't even look at him anymore. He fell out of love and you always read that it happened with other people, you just didn't think it would happen to you.

"Just imagine what my life would have been like if you had chosen to be honest" He looked down in shame as he realised what you meant. None of this would have happened if he was honest with you, you never would have gotten into the accident and you never would have suffered so much.

At night you made dinner and ate in silence, you missed Loki and you desperately wanted to be in his company, to be adored and touched by him and you wanted to hear that satin silky voice whispering sweet things in your ears, he had kept you sane in the past few days.

"Do you guys see that monster around?" You asked James and he shook his head.

"You know none of us looked at him ever again, after you and Nat moved here, we all lost touch, it was only a few weeks ago that Stephen contacted me again"

"How's he doing?"

"He misses Nat ofcourse and he misses you too, last year has been difficult for him too" you nodded as he said that, you were glad that he left though, this place wasn't safe for anyone.

You gave him a blanket and a pillow to sleep on the couch and you locked your bedroom door from inside, having him around felt weird because you weren't used to it anymore.

You couldn't sleep that night, you wanted to see Loki and you thought about him but he didn't come, late at night as you heard the screams the realization hit you, the vivid flashback from your last visit hit your senses. You had attempted to escape this forsaken place after they had sacrificed Nat or so you thought, and they couldn't have allowed you to do that, you remembered being thrown into the waters, you remembered screaming over and over again for anyone to save you, to protect you but nobody helped, you remembered drowning and then you remembered a green shimmering light surrounding you, creating a bubble around you under the water, it floated you towards the shore slowly and that's when you saw him. Loki.

He was there looking at you with his teary eyes, the water had filled your lungs so he instantly picked you up and then he healed you with his mere touch. Your hands rose to caress his cheeks and you wanted to say so many things to him but only a meek thank you spilled out before your eyes closed slowly, the mental and physical trauma, the things you saw and the loss of a friend was too much to bear.

He was there when you needed him the most, he wasn't supposed to appear in front of you, he wasn't supposed to meddle with the laws of earthly nature or interfere how this island was survived by its people but he had to, he had to hold you and touch you in that moment to assure you that he was there, that you weren't alone anymore.

Even though he knew he was risking it all by choosing to choose you over everything else, the moment he had you in his arms for the very first time he knew he had made the right choice.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

#loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki alternate universe #loki horror romance #loki horror au #dark themes

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call-memissbrightside · 3 years ago

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Author’s note: well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions lol. You all seemed to really like this post about a ComputerScienceTomura and and LiberalArtsReader, and I really like the idea so I’m running with it!

Disclaimer: I know it’s technically summer but I recalled how I use to scramble to figure out where I’d live while my college campus closed for break since going home wasn’t an option, and viola! This idea popped in my head.

TAGS: fluff with a hint of abandonment issues, grumpy Shigaraki who says bad words, mentions of a boner (it’s SFW ya nasties)

Tomura Shigaraki was looking forward to the winter break.

Not that he had plans of doing anything fun during the month and a half of no classes but it was a break from staying up so late working on stupid assignments.

It was finals season, and Tomura was hanging on by a thread. The little tolerance he had for keeping a schedule and to-do list went out the door as deadlines closed in. He usually never ate on campus, choosing to stick to himself because every student irked him.

Yet, his stomach painfully growled when he was leaving the engineering building, and the young man couldn’t recall the last time he ate something fulfilling. With a sigh of defeat, he stumbled to the student building.

Being the heart of campus, the student building was bubbling with well… students. All rushing around with textbooks and coffee, Tomura rolling his eyes at how chaotic finals made the student population. His patience was running thin.

Tomura scratched at his neck, annoyance brooding while waiting in line for Panda Express and every sorority girl in existence cutting in front of him with a giggly, “Sorry, I’m here with my friend.” His nails dug into the palm of his hands when the service worker told him they ran out of orange chicken, the only good option. Head pounding now, Shigaraki moved through the tortuous line with his takeout burning his hands and he just wants to punch the cashier for daring to ask him if he wanted to donate to the children’s hospital —

“Tomura!”

His ears perk up from the sound of your voice, and he flinched when he sees that you’re standing right there.

“Tomura, where the hell have you been loca?” You laugh. Tomura’s negative mindset is broken, and he agrees to give the rest of his change to the hospital.

“What are you doing here?” He asks you once he pays, moving out of line. You’re still smiling at him, and Tomura clears his throat to hide the fact that he’s blushing because holy shit you were really pretty and it made him empty stomach erupt in butterflies at the way you were just looking at him like he was the best person ever.

You point at a table cluttered with girls, who are all watching you two interact, much his horror.

“I’m eating dinner with my friends and saw you in line and wanted to say hi since I haven’t heard from you all day,” You say, Tomura honing in how sad you looked at the last part. He grimaced, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been in the engineering building all fucking night.” The headache returns just remembering how frustrated he was when his programming kept failing and how his stupid fucking group didn’t help at all. He hated group projects so much.

“Oh don’t worry about it,” You try to play it off, feeling slightly embarrassed that you missed hearing from him. It wasn’t like you guys were dating, even if you and Tomura hung out a lot and texted nearly every day.

“Do you want to eat with us?” You ask, looking down at his food container.

“I promise we’re nice,” Nervous, you awkwardly laugh and pray that your friends don’t scare him off. Tomura wasn’t shy, but rather just anti social and you picked up on how he didn’t like conversing too much. But he talks to you for some reason?

Tomura wants to say no.

His social battery was drained empty and he hated awkward introductions. On the other hand, he hadn't seen you around much since finals started and didn't know if he would have time to hang out before the semester ended.

His eyes returned to the table with your friends, who are still staring and grits his teeth.

“Sure,” he mumbles. You squeal in excitement, grabbing his hand and tugging the apprehensive man to meet your friends.

Tomura notices how soft your hand is in his, and hopes his isn��t sweaty.

***

“So (Y/N), where are you going for break?” Momo Yaoyorozu asks as everyone eats.

Tomura will be honest, he forgot everyone’s name the moment they introduced themselves. So, he just sits quietly and munches on his food. He noticed that your posture stiffens at the question and Tomura wonders why.

“Oh, I think I’ll just go home.” Your answer is quick, and Tomura wants to reach out and grab your knee to stop you from tapping your foot, an obvious sign that you're uncomfortable.

“Where is home?” Yaoyorozu asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Momo! Leave her alone,” Kyoka Jiro scolds, playfully slapping her on the arm. She rolls her eyes, but gives you a knowing look.

“I apologize for my girlfriends rude question but (Y/N) where are you going once the campus closes?” Jiro and Momo looked concern, Tomura noticing how sad your expression looked.

He should say something right? Tell these girls to back off? Tomura felt a weird urge to defend you, his mind recalling how he was picked on in his early years and misinterpreted your friends concern for bullying.

“I’m going with my dad and his new wife on their family trip,” You answer plainly. Your friends looked releaved.

“Oh how fun! I could’ve asked my family to take you on our trip to Hawaii, you know it’s no issue,” Momo says.

Tomura wants to roll his eyes, pretentious girl flaunting her wealth again.

“That’s not necessary, but thank you,” You smile, but Tomura notices how your mood changes from being bubbly to more secluded once the conversation changes.

Clearing your throat, you excuse yourself to the restroom. Tomura is worried about being alone with your friends but it seemed they were focusing on your break plans once again now that you were gone.

“Do you believe her? About going home?” Momo asks Tomura, surprising him.

Tomura shrugs, “Yeah, why don’t you?”

Ochaco Uraraka sighs. “It’s just that (Y/N)’s home life isn’t the best. Her parents don’t get along.”

Jiro nods, “Last year she went home with me because her mom was out of the country and her dad got remarried.”

“They completely forget about her,” Momo adds.

Tomura doesn’t know what to do. He’d gotten closer with you as the weeks went by since first meeting. Yet, you never brought up your family or any issues you’ve had with them. Tomura looks around at how concerned your friends were, and the same feeling began growing in his chest.

***

Against his better judgement, Tomura looks up your parents that night. He was already on his laptop watching game-plays and with a quick Command-T, he opened up a new page. After admittedly spending too much time stalking, he finds that your parents divorced before you got to college and seemed to live two different lives. Your mom traveled constantly, Tomura cringing at the cheesy captions on every picture posted about her travels. Your dad was remarried to someone much younger, and had two other kids. Not once did Shigaraki see your parents post pictures of you, no mention of your existence was apparent on their social media presence.

He’s worried, but Tomura doesn’t know how to bring up his concern with you.

Weeks blur until it’s the end of the semester, and the campus closes. Walking back to his apartment after picking up some takeout, he snickers at the message you sent him.

(Y/N): trip sucks, too hot here

Tomura is secretly glad you were able to go with your dad after all. You left two days ago, hugging him goodbye and making him swear he'd continue to message you while you were gone. Shigaraki kept his promise, and admittedly checked his phone too often in fear that he'd miss a message from you.

Tomura cuts through an almost empty parking lot attatched to the campus, eyeing the small blue car with a pink bumper sticker that read “Please let me merge, I have anxiety.” That's funny, (Y/N) has the same sticker too. Oh! And that dent too! Wait a minute...

He looses his smile, and quickly walks over to the car that was bizarrely similar to yours. Shigaraki is shocked to see you sitting in it, when you should’ve been on a beach.

The hard knock on your window makes you scream. A similar look of shock could be read on you and Shigaraki’s face, and you sheepishly roll down your window.

“Oh hey Tomura, you come here often?” You joke, awkwardly smiling.

Tomura is still in shock, almost angry.

“What are you doing here?” It comes out louder and meaner then he intended, but the white haired man couldn’t contain his disbelief.

Seeing how upset he was made you burst into tears.

***

“You’ve been living out your car for two days and just planned on doing so for the whole break?” Tomura is in utter disbelief at what you explained to him through your tears.

The two of you were sitting on his couch in his apartment, and you couldn't stop crying.

"I know it sounds bad-," You try to argue but Tomura is seething.

"Why didn't you just go with your friends? Why did you lie to them? Why did you lie-," He stumbles on his words. Why did you lie me?

You shake your head, desperately trying to wipe away your tears. "They worry so much already, I didn't want to disrupt their plans with their families."

Tomura scratches at his neck, shaking with anger not at you specifically but rather how you felt like you needed to lie to him. I thought we were closer than that?

"Why didn't you go home?" The question makes you squeeze your eyes shut. With a shaky breath, you explain to Shigaraki how your mother was away on a cruise with her friends and how your father was in fact on beach trip with his new family but they didn't invite you.

"Your father didn't invite you on a family trip?" Tomura was angry before but now he was pissed.

You cry harder, making Tomura put away his anger for a moment and gathered your shaking body in for a hug. You clung to his sweatshirt, making his dry neck itch with your tears but Shigaraki was too preoccupied with how sweet you smelled to care.

Holy shit I'm huggin (Y/N), who is a girl that's really pretty and nice and what the fuck she smells so good. Wait did I shower? Do I smell? His mind was going a mile a minute and he began to panic, please do not get a boner! Don't gross her out, please for the love of god do not get a boner!

Tomura isn’t used to getting so close to a girl, much less a girl like you. Yet, the tiny voice in his head is telling him that you needed comfort. You hugged him tight, letting the stress and pain of your situation run through you.

You settle down eventually, the sky outside turning dark before you pull away from Tomura, embarrassed to be crying in front of him.

“You should stay here.” He blurts it out before he can stop himself. Tomura wasn’t going home for the holidays, he never does. He could crash in his game room while you take his bedroom, Tomura explaining how it’s no problem at all.

The young man had no idea what he was doing, he barely ever had his friends over and he liked being on his own. He hated when his things were messed with and couldn’t stand sharing.

Yet—

Your eyes were so wide, so scared and distraught. Cheeks puffy and sniffling, Tomura thought you looked like a little kid. It reminded him of when he was little, after his parents died and how he was all alone. Tomura remembers how sickening loneliness can be, and you didn’t deserve that.

“I-I can’t do that,” you try to decline his offer.

“Stay, please,” Tomura asks, looking so hopeful that’d you say yes. I just want to help, for once in my life I want to be a hero for someone.

You weighed your options. Your parents were not in the picture, your friends were all gone and honestly sleeping in your car wasn’t all that fun. Tomura is my friend, you think.

“I can pay my rent through slushees,” You declare.

Tomura scoffs, flicking your forehead before heading to his kitchen to make something to eat for the both of you.

“Deal, but you’re banned from making me watch Pride and Prejudice again,” He yells over his shoulder.

Your instant screams of disapproval makes Tomura Shigaraki laugh out loud.

#bnha shigaraki #shigaraki fluff #shigaraki x you #tomura shigaraki #boku no hero academia tomura #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #bnha au

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mercy-burning · 3 years ago

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Affection

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Spencer and Y/N decidedly hate each other. But when a near-death experience puts one of them in a coma, their mutual hatred might have to take a backseat— Or will it? Category: Angst / Happy Ending! + Humor and a lil bit of Fluff Content: Strong language, Reader is in a coma, mentions of injury, kissing Word Count: 2.6k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: This one’s for Pom’s ( @imagining-in-the-margins ) September Writing Challenge, Enemies To Lovers! I have another one coming up as well, but this idea wouldn’t get out of my head ever since I watched The Abyss with my dad and I had to get it out 😅 I hope you like it!!

———

I swear to fucking God, if this motherfucker really thinks he—

That was the last thing Y/N thought before she was knocked out cold.

With her line of work, it was natural to assume that she was thinking about the unsub, but unfortunately the criminal she and her team were tracking down was the farthest thing on her mind. Spencer would have chastised her for it— letting something else cloud her thoughts while she was in a dark alley, alone, and with a serial killer on the loose.

"You should be smarter than that!" she could hear him say in that high pitch he always carried when he was upset— especially with her. "If you don't get yourself killed one of these days, then it'll be the rest of us!"

Thinking about it made her blood boil.

"It's your fault," she wanted to tell him. "I had to blow off some steam because you were pissing me off!"

The only thing was... She couldn't tell him.

Well... She could.

He just couldn't hear her, because no one could.

It was like some stupid, cliché movie, where you found yourself standing over your dying body and having to choose whether to live or not. It seemed like the obvious choice, to fucking live, but... Y/N found herself wandering around her hospital room, yelling into the void and attempting to jump back into her own body.

Nothing was working.

And when Spencer showed up, his face red and his hair and clothes all messed up, she wanted to scream at him.

"Hey!"

Nothing. He was practically lifeless as he drifted to the chair next to her bed and sat down. It was nearly impossible to read from his expression and body language how he was feeling, and that alone was enough to make her angry again. (Not that the anger had really gone away since waking up next to her comatose body, of course.)

"Hey! Dumbass!"

Still nothing.

As Spencer just blankly stared down at Y/N's bed, she decided she'd had enough.

"SPENCER FUCKING REID, IF YOU DON'T HELP ME RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL HAUNT YOUR ASS UNTIL THE END OF ETERNITY, AND I'M GONNA LAY FAT, STINKIN' GHOST SHITS IN YOUR SHOES, DO YOU HEAR ME? AND—"

"I hate you."

It was a bold enough statement to stop Y/N in her tracks, no matter how quietly he'd mumbled it. She knew for sure that he didn't like her, after years of constant bickering and dirty glares and whatever else, but... The word 'hate' was like a knife that sliced through her joking rage and stopped the whole world around her.

If she wasn't already out of her own body, she just knew she would have felt her soul leave.

Spencer didn't hate anyone. Not that she was aware of, anyway. He found nearly everyone delightful, and vice versa... But for some reason, he hated Y/N.

She scoffed, crossing her arms. "Yeah, well... Feeling's mutual, I guess..."

"You're stupid, and reckless, and you don't think. And you're a goddamn nightmare to work with... You know what— You're a stone-cold bitch."

His words made her physically step backwards, and it felt like if she were a cartoon, there might have been steam coming out of her ears.

"Yeah, well jokes on you, you make it easy," she seethed. "Fuck you!"

"How... How dare you..." he continued, anger reddening his face.

Y/N watched as he balled his fists and leaned in a little closer to her body, his voice tight and strained. "How dare you walk into my life and boss me around and make it impossible to breathe... From the moment I met you, you've brought out this... this fire in me that I can't put out no matter how hard I try, and it's insufferable—You're insufferable, and I hate you, how dare—"

Whatever he was going to say next was cut off by a shortness of breath. Spencer breathed in, loud and choked, and the next breath he let out was nothing short of a sob. His eyes squeezed shut, tears rolling down them and his hands clutched the bedsheets with a vigor and rage that Y/N had never seen from him, even in all the years she'd spent visibly getting on his last nerves.

"N—No," she choked out, feeling her throat tighten. "Don't... Don't turn into a sappy mess on me now, do you hear me, Reid? You hate me, don't... Don't..."

"I don't hate you," he whispered, wiping his eyes and reaching out to grab her lifeless hand. "I hate that you make me feel this way, but... I could never hate you..."

She wanted nothing more than to be able to squeeze his hand back, to tell him, not even necessarily with words but with a simple gesture, that she was right there and wasn't going to go anywhere.

She just... had to figure out how to make that true.

Still, Spencer kept going, a small laugh bubbling up through tears and phlegm. "But I will hate you if you die, because I just know you're gonna come back and haunt me for eternity... Probably... shit in my shoes or something."

Y/N barked a laugh that was true and pure... Happy, even.

The genius may have acted like he hated her, but it turns out he knew her pretty well, perhaps even fondly in one way or another.

To think— All those years she spent seeing him sneer at her, feeling his glare burn into her soul, the amount of times she caught him making faces or inappropriate gestures behind her back, all of it... And the whole time, he was probably doing it with a little flicker of fondness deep within the confines of his heart, which he swore to fill with nothing but hatred for her.

The thought made the little flicker in her own heart burn brighter.

As she wandered closer to her bed, beside Spencer and in front of her own body, she reached her hand out to see if she could touch his face, to give him something...

Even though she had no luck, something shifted when he spoke.

"Just... Come back to me, please? I know I'm not good at apologizing, but if it means I get you back... I swear that I will make up every horrible thing I've ever done or said to you. Just... Please don't leave me."

He laid his head down in his hands and tried not to cry again, every said horrible thing replaying on a loop in his brain like some kind of taunt. He wished more than anything for a chance to make it up to Y/N, and now he might not ever be able to.

"You think I'd leave this mortal earth without getting the chance to kick your ass?"

Everything was so fuzzy and light and brimming with these high emotions that Y/N almost didn't realize she was saying these words and Spencer was hearing them. She almost didn't feel the warmth of her bloodstream beneath layers of skin, the beat of her heart slowly coming back to life at the sounds and smells of the hospital room.

She almost didn't realize that Spencer was grabbing her now, his warm hands covering her cold ones and bringing them back to life as well.

"Screw you," he breathed with absolutely no malice to be detected in his voice.

They shared a smile so bright, no one would have been able to guess that they never got along.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Not only was she stuck at home doing nothing while on suspension (Yes, it turns out that storming off into an alley and not paying attention while on the job, just because a co-worker pissed you off, can get you suspended by Chief Strauss), but Y/N was also being visited by a daily rotation of her co-workers and friends and family, and her house was nearly covered in flower bouquets and baked goods.

It was a nightmare.

The sentiment was nice, sure, but if she had to move one more vase, she was going to start throwing them.

God, maybe Spencer was right, I am a stone-cold bitch...

Thinking of him also put a little damper on her mood.

He hadn't been to visit her once... And she figured that after their nice little moment at the hospital, he'd at least stop by with flowers or an "I'm glad you're not dead!" call, but there was nothing on his end. Not even a text message or a letter.

But for all she knew, their small moment of kindness could have been a figment of her concussed imagination.

Please, she thought, if I brought it up to him he'd probably just laugh in my face.

Rather than a laugh, Y/N heard the bright sound of her doorbell, which normally would have meant a fun unexpected visit or a date she was getting ready for, but by now it only meant another vase of flowers or a pie from a neighbor she still didn't remember the last name to.

Either way, she answered the door with as polite a smile as she could muster, and instead of finding a vaguely familiar neighbor or acquaintance, she found Spencer.

Though, to be fair, he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Well, this is a surprise," Y/N drawled, crossing her arms. "I don't even think you've ever been to my house."

She was surprised to see him nervous around her, rather than irritated. And she would have found it endearing had they not been practically mortal enemies from the moment they met... She was suspicious.

"O—Oh, yeah... I know, I just thought... I wanted to come see how you were doing... These are for you."

He held out the flowers, which were truthfully the pretties set she'd received, and it irked her. Because of course he of all people would be the one to tell which kinds of flowers she'd prefer.

"Thanks," she said, taking them from him and allowing him the space to come inside. "Watch out, it's a maze in here..."

While she looked for somewhere to put the flowers on display, she could feel Spencer looking around her space, probably profiling what he could behind a sea of flowers.

"Hm."

Y/N sighed. "What?"

"Nothing. I'm just... I'm surprised this many people actually like you."

Despite the nature of his observation, she found it comforting. That level of playful contempt was what she was used to, and it brought a sparkle to her eye as she turned to face him. "Ha... I'm not a complete bitch, you know."

"Sure."

Between the growing grin on his face and the smirk forming on her own, Spencer and Y/N found themselves falling back into a familiar rhythm. And yet, something about it was still... different.

So much so that Y/N felt honest-to-God butterflies in her stomach when he approached, hands retreating from his pockets and head tilting off to the side. His expression held that look he got when he was trying to figure someone out, usually an unsub. She hated to admit it to herself, but a little part of her always found that side of him extremely attractive.

And now that it was right in front of her?

She didn't know what to make of it.

"What?" she snapped, looking for an excuse to hide any and all attraction she was feeling.

Spencer stepped back a little, breaking away from whatever trance he'd just been in. "God, why do you always have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"You push away every single show of affection! Any time I'm trying to be nice, you just act like it's some big inconvenience to you!"

Y/N laughed. "Ha! That's what that was? Just now? When you insulted me, and then started stalking towards me with that look you get when you're interrogating an unsub? That's what you call affection?"

"That's not... That's not what that was!"

"Oh really? Then what was it?"

"It was part of the routine! Banter! Y—You know, that's our thing! We insult each other, and we act like we hate each other but we... We don't, really..."

The longer he went on, the faster her heart raced. This was the moment in the movie where he inevitably blurted out that he loved her, and in turn she would either kiss him or slap him, or slap him and then kiss him...

But Y/N was still feeling rather playful despite the swarm of butterflies in her stomach begging for some relief.

"Oh?" she prompted, taking a slow step closer to him. "We don't?"

Spencer seemed to get red immediately, and he avoided her eyes. "U—Uh... Well I... I thought... Maybe I read it all wrong, a—and I'm sorry if I did..."

She'd been getting closer meanwhile, and now they were practically toe-to-toe. He did his best to ignore her, taking a few steps back until she cornered him against the front door. And with the way he wasn't doing anything to get out of his predicament, she took that as his acceptance and took another leap.

"What..." she cooed, crawling her fingers up the front of his chest like a spider. "You like me? Hmm?"

When he finally looked down at her, she allowed herself to smile, albeit slowly and with calculation.

In a flash Spencer went from nervous to fed-up, weight seeming to visibly lift from his chest as he sank against the door. "You're messing with me..."

"It's so fun."

"You know what, screw you."

"Is that a promise?"

"Maybe it is. What are you gonna do ab—"

She didn't let him finish.

In an instant, Y/N lunged forward and pulled him down for a kiss.

Even though she thought he might have tried to take control of the situation, he ended up surprising her with a wanton moan as his hands clutched at her sides, holding on for dear life. Their bodies and tongues collided in a mess of years worth of pent-up tension, chaotic and wild and fiercely beautiful in a way that put even the greatest first kisses to shame.

And of course, Spencer had to go and ruin it.

He pushed her away and looked almost panicked. "W—Wait, are you even cleared to do this?"

Y/N rolled her eyes, reaching out for him again. "I'm fine."

"Y/N, you were in the hospital! I thought... I thought you were..."

She appreciated the sentiment, but with her entire body on fire from his touch, she decided she needed more of it. "Yeah, but I'm not... I'm very much alive, and you know what?"

He blinked back at her, watching carefully as she leaned in close to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"It's because of you. You make me feel... more alive than I've ever been."

"And... You're not messing with me this time?"

With a laugh, Y/N shook her head and leaned up to brush her nose with his. "Nuh-uh... But if you'd like to, I'd love to mess with you in a more fun way. And maybe I'll even let you do it back..."

Spencer hummed, feeling himself gravitate towards her more with every passing second. "Deal."

He barely got the word out all the way before she was dragging him through the maze of flora and contained food and into her bedroom, where piece by piece, their hatred and fondness for one another combined to create the most exquisite of nights.

———

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @ssacalumsg0lden @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith @reidyoulikeabook @spencerreid9 @b-a-utiful @jareauswifey @flipperpenguins @pansexualthing @donald4spiderman @awesomebooklover17 @shemarmooresfedora @izraahh1 @bakugouswh0r3 @singularityjc @xoxospencerreid @thatsonezesty13 @big-galaxy-chaos @mggskneescrews @youabitchhhh @spencersjello @moonlight-2-6 @starrylang @foreveryoungxx3 @spencerreidscoffeecup @morganwilliams @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @gubswh0re @mrsobrien888 @umbreonwolfy

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If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader angst #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds angst #enemies to lovers

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mingis-lightbulb · 3 years ago

Text

10:26am

Warnings: Yandere!Jungkook, Dom! Jungkook, Sub!Reader, suggestive themes, mentions of sex, manipulation, toxic relationship, forced relationship.

A/n: Whoo! First BTS drabble! If you like this, give me suggestions on who I should write next!

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You were moving quietly through the halls, giving some of your co-workers a soft smile as you waved to them goodbye, before getting to your office. You had just had a sit down with your boss and decided to leave your position as assistant manager. You loved this job, but it was time for you to go, you wanted to work somewhere else where you were more hands on with your clients. As you were packing your stuff you heard footsteps coming up to your office.

“Noona? Where are you going?’

You froze, not wanting to turn around and face the owner of that voice. “Noona? I know you hear! Talk to me, where are you going!” You ignored him and grabbed your stuff, walking out of your office. He grabbed your arm causing you to stop in your path, turning to face him.

“Jungkook..please. I got off early.” You lied and He smiled at you “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?”

Jeon Jungkook, maknae of BTS, a super talented young male who could have anything and anyone he wanted. And sadly, you were the only one that he wanted and set his sights on.

There were plenty of occasions were Jk would take you across your own desk, telling you the dirtiest things of how he wanted to fill you up with his kids. How he wanted you to scream his name even though your co-workers were nearby. He would pound into you making sure you knew who you belonged to. It was nice at first, then you realised that you needed to stop.

He was an idol for damned sakes and you worked for his company! You couldn’t keep sleeping around with him, it would ruin his career and you would be an outcast from society for messing with Jungkook.

You shook your head as you walked past him giving him a soft smile “I’ll see you tomorrow Jk” Knowing full well you were not returning to this building, you turn to leave, waving to your co-workers one more time before exiting the building.

Jungkook watched as you exited, his smile fading as soon as your shape was gone. He turned to your friends and slammed his hands on their desk.

“What time does (Y/n) come in to work tomorrow?” he asked, looking at all of the scared yet confused faces. Jk rolled his eyes and asked once more

“What time does she come in tomorrow?” He asked again with more anger lacing his tone.

“W-well..(Y/n) didn’t tell you?” One of them spoke up and Jungkook looked over to her, it was his turn to be confused.

“No she didn’t tell me anything.”

“Well, Today was (Y/n)’s last day, she doesn’t work here anymore after today. That’s why she left early.”

Jungkook held a blank look on his face as he simply turned to head out after that. How could you leave him and not say a word? Then lie and say that you would be here tomorrow to see him. Jk was fuming, but he knew a quick way to solve, a way he should’ve done a long time.

Jungkook really took a liking to you, he really did fall hard for you, he loved the way he could have you blushing and smiling. The way he could have you moaning and begging his name by doing the smallest things, he needed you. And he was going to have you.

You were home relaxing, happy that you were out of there and heading to a new point in your career. You were excited to start your new job, you were going to be over an up and rising female group. You smiled to yourself as you leaned back on your couch, before your phone decided to ding.

Jungkook: How dare you up and leave me like that?

Jungkook: I thought we had something special, Noona? I wanted to be with you and only you!

Jungkook: You belong with me. And I see that you will.

A rapid knock at your door scared you and it sent you into your fight or flight. Quickly you went and ran to your bedroom as you heard your front door swing open and his voice rung in your ears. “Noona! Where are you? I know you’re home! You better come out, because if I have to find you. You won’t like me~.” This only sent you farther into your home, swinging open a storage closet you had and shoving yourself inside, leaving your phone tossed down the hall somewhere.

Heavy footsteps could be heard, along with soft humming, you could feel your body shiver in fear as his footsteps passed by the room you were hiding in. “Aww..did my noona drop her phone? Come on, I just want to live happily with you~ You won’t have to work a day in your life anymore.” He says his voice drifting as he traveled down the hall. You could feel tears running down your face, regretting the choices you had made that got you here. If you would have never flirted with the male, showed him your true self, let your guards down you wouldn’t be here.

You could Jk rummaging around in your bedroom and decided to take your chance. Swinging open the storage room you book it. You’d rather die trying than live with him for the rest of your life. You were close to your front door when you doubled over in pain, hands flying down to your thigh. You turned to see Jungkook holding the gun with a hurt expression. “Noona..I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Jungkook yelled as he quickly ran over to your side, ripping the bottom of his shirt to make a tuner kit

“Get away from me you psycho! You shot me!” You cried out, holding your now bleeding thigh, tears pouring out of your eyes. Jungkook runs a hand through your (H/c) hair and picks you up, “No,. I have to make this right Noona! I’m taking you to the hospital! You need me to take care of you, or else you’ll get hurt like this again. “ he said, obviously very deluded.

You hit on Jungkook’s chest trying to escape from him but he simply giggles and places a kiss on your cheek. “Don’t worry Noona! I’ll tell your boss that you want your job back, so i can keep an eye on you!”

“After all I can’t let you out of my sights~ You’ll run and get hurt somewhere~”

#Yandere bts #bts drabble #yandere jungkook #yandere jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook drabble #bts x reader #bts drabbles #yandere bts x reader #bts smut #yandere bts drabbles #yandere drabbles #jungkook smut

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imaginativeamateur · 3 years ago

Note

HEY!!!! I read your kakashi x reader in which kakshi takes care of tired reader and it was *chef’s kiss* so i was thinking if you could a kakashi x reader in which the reader gets poisoned during a mission. They get a small scratch so it does not work quickly. So when they get home, they start to feel a bit dizzy and then start coughing up blood LOTS of blood ( if you don’t mind). So kakashi gets worried and takes them to the hospital. When they get there tsunade tells them it is a rare type of poison so they will need a day or two to make the antidote. So the reader is in pain and coughing up blood. Kakashi tries their best to comfort them. Sorry it is long. Feel free to ignore it. Sorry for bad english. THANK YOU ✨

[Kakashi Hatake X Reader] Unbearable

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x gn!Reader

Note: Firstly, I'm glad that you like that piece, anon:D and your idea is fantastic!!! Okay, this one is a bit longer than what I usually write for, probably around 2,000 words. It's a mix of angst and fluff, the ending is fluffy though. And I didn't know what to name this one either:D Without further ado, please enjoy!

You pushed the door open, exclaiming happily when you finally got to sniff the familiar scent of his signature dishes, “I’m home, Kakashi!”

“How was your mission, love?” Wiping his palms on a handkerchief, he lifted his eyes from the pan to quickly examine if you had any injuries.

“Absolutely successful! We captured and brought the rebels back for investigation. My captain will be reporting it to the Hokage so I’m off for now!” You made your way next to him in the kitchen, pulling off your gloves in the process, “What are you making?”

Kakashi went off talking about the dishes he was preparing for your dinner but your mind turned fuzzy in the middle of his sentence. You lost your balance and tumbled backward as your sight blurred, not able to see anything clearly. With his quick reflex, the Copy Ninja caught you by your forearm and guided you to the floor, constantly asking if you were okay. Kakashi’s visible eye widened, brows furrowing as his hands roamed to search for any injuries that his eyes did not catch. You had no fatal wounds except for several scratches here and there, and he could sense your depleted chakra level. Lifting your body up in his arms, he whispered as he carried you to your shared bedroom, “You probably overused your chakra again. You should be back to normal tomorrow after a good rest.”

You sprawled tiredly in your bed, having no appetite for a meal and Kakashi respected it, he knew when it came to reviving a Ninja’s chakra, nothing would be able to beat some decent sleep. He let you stay by yourself for a few hours and went to finish his reports, returning to check on you once in a while. When he was finally done with work, Kakashi quietly slipped under the blanket on his side of the bed, carefully scooted closer to your warmth, hugged you close, and peacefully closed his eyes. In the middle of the night, you were woken up by the burning sensation that coursed through your entire body and a terrible headache, having just enough time to flip onto your side in case you would vomit right then and there. And you suddenly coughed, your throat was torn when the crimson liquid spattered onto the white tiles, bled your shirt, and dripped down from your chin. Being a light sleeper, the silver-haired immediately shot up from his pillow, switched the lights on, and scrambled down to the ground. You were trembling for the time being, and within a split second, Kakashi scooped your motionless body in his arms, rushing for the hospital.

He knew for sure that you were poisoned given the symptoms that were starting to surface. The hospital workers were greatly intimidated by the threatening aura that he sent, still hugging you tight as he brought you to the operation room himself. You continued to cough in his arms, and he did not mind his turtleneck being covered entirely by your blood. Tsunade arrived with a hurried disposition, and Sakura followed close behind her lead. Kakashi immediately reported your condition to the Fifth Hokage, grimacing when he saw blood pooling on the hospital bed as the Medic’s chakra slowly entered your body. He fought to retain himself—to not sprint to your side and cradle you tight, to not bring his hand up and wipe the blood staining the corner of your lips. It was all too much to him to see you panting in agony—

“Sakura,” the blonde Medic commanded, “set up for poison extraction. Get three more people.”

The pink-haired left the room after her teacher’s assignment, fleeting on her feet when she saw your tightly shut eyes and Kakashi’s scary expression as though he was going to burn the place down. Tsunade turned to the Copy Ninja, who was leaning against the wall with a visible eye that settled a tone darker, and called, “Kakashi, I need you to hold Y/N down when I extract the poison.”

He shuddered, unsure if he would still be able to maintain the last bit of composure left. The silver-haired found it impossible to remain himself when came to your safety, but he padded to your side, shaking hands reaching out to the pale face of yours. The Godaime assured him that everything would be okay and the man took a deep breath, moving his palms to rest on both of your shoulders as the rest of the team arrived, getting to work the second they passed the door. Kakashi held onto your upper body and arms, pinning you down onto the bed when the blonde started to focus chakra on her hands. “It’ll hurt, make sure Y/N stays still,” she said before the glowing green entered your body.

Kakashi could feel his sweats running cold against his temple, his uncovered eye fixed on Tsunade's hands, periodically glancing back at your face to make sure that you were fine. His grip on your wrists was tight but not bruising, fearing that it would add to the pain that you were already enduring from the poison. The Copy Ninja had his other forearm across your shoulder blades, pressing your torso in place as the Medic worked diligently. It hurt and you yelped, shrieking from the pure pain every time her chakra seeped inside. Kakashi was restless, biting on his own lips to halt himself from releasing his grasp and hug you tight. Your eyes turned dull when Tsunade finally got the last bit of poison out of your system, heavily placing your head back onto the damp pillow as the silver-haired wiped the sweats on your forehead. When all of you thought it was over, things took a different turn—for worse.

Pain suddenly shot through your body, and you started to cough more vigorously than earlier, blood covered the white sheets of the hospital bed. The whole room turned their attention back on your figure, your eyelashes fluttered, wincing when you felt the tiniest bits of your muscles being squeezed and ripped apart. Kakashi stepped back when he looked at his hands smeared by your blood, and grimaced, “… Didn’t you get the poison out already?”

The Medic furrowed her brows, examining the extract she got in a test tube, “It’s my first time seeing this type.”

Kakashi went feral, “How long?”

The sounds of your coughs filled the quiet atmosphere of the operation room. Every ticking of the clock seemed too audibly loud each passing second the blonde observed the Copy Ninja’s face. She eventually sighed and turned to the exit, “I’m not sure. It will take a while for us to create the antidote.”

“You can’t leave Y/N suffering like this, Lady Tsunade,” he breathed out laboriously, “I can’t.”

Kakashi’s words left his lips like a desperate plea as he stared at the ground. Tsunade shut her eyes to summon enough vigor to walk out of the room. Sakura hesitantly left shortly after, silently closing the door after sending her former sensei a sympathetic look. With shaking legs that were almost unable to hold him up, the silver-haired made his way to a chair beside your bed, tracing his thumb across your lips to wipe the bloodstain away. As a Shinobi, he was too accustomed to seeing open wounds and deep gashes—too familiar with his body covered in blood after a mission, especially when he got injured. But seeing you in this state made him crumble in dejection and turmoil.

“Kakashi,” your inaudible whisper pulled him out of his deep thoughts, “what if I…”

Before you were able to finish your sentence, Kakashi hushed you with a sign as he pulled the blanket up to your chest, “Don’t say anything, love. I’m not going to let you…” And he trailed off, finding it hardly possible to continue what he was saying. You were still in pain, forehead scrunched up to restrain the groans from eliciting, tight fists hidden under the cover because you did not want him to be more distressed than he already was. Kakashi slouched his back, head dropping into his palms, cursing under his breath, “I should’ve come with you, should’ve been more careful, should’ve gotten you to the hospital sooner. I-I’m sorry, Y/N… Please, please just be okay.”

His words fell apart, slipping past his lips muffled and croaked. It had been a long while since he last felt the wet droplets tittering on the edge of his lash line—range and misery boiled in his veins as he swore to himself this would be the last time he would see you like this for as long as he was alive. He did not dare to look at you, not when he had to helplessly witness his dearest person suffering. Your breathing decelerated, the sweats beading your hairline and neck had long evaporated, and you fell asleep between his soft whispers, exhausted and drained.

Every hour passed with dread for everyone. Each time Tsunade came back to check on you set up a thin wall of hope but it all shattered shortly when she shook her head and withdrew out of the room. You were coughing less, but that did not ease the Copy Ninja because you were shriveling impossibly lifeless. You could not swallow whatever food they supplied, only able to intake water and intravenous fluid. It was after lunch when Tsunade knocked on the door—two days since you were brought to the hospital, one day since you went unconscious—and Kakashi went to slide it open for her. No longer displayed a hopeful expression, he could not bear the disappointment and emptiness from the Medic’s shake of her head. But this time, Tsunade came with good news.

“We found the antidote.”

A single sentence from the blonde levitated the somber atmosphere that was clouding Kakashi’s mind. A contented smile found its way across his lips—though covered by the mask, Tsunade could clearly see his pupil dilating and the furrow between his brows starting to slowly vanish. With a quick move, she injected the solution into your arm with Kakashi watching closely, not letting any details went unnoticed.

“The fever should be gone after lunch, I’m not quite sure when Y/N will wake up though. That depends on an individual’s ability to recover.” She stated, “You two take care.”

The silver-haired thanked the Godaime and shut the door after she had left for several seconds. Then, he went back for a quick shower—the last thing he wanted was you worrying for his enervated appearance after two days without rest—not forgetting to plant a kiss on your forehead before leaving. When he returned, Kakashi brought a basket of fresh fruits with him, carefully peeling oranges and placing them on a plate for you in advance. He even went as far as bringing your pillow because you would be staying for another few days, and he wanted to make you feel comfortable. After checking over everything, he leaned his head back and closed his eye, stealing a quick nap with your hand in his—so he would know when you wake up.

The moment your eyes fluttered open, you quickly scanned the room, and your gaze settled on the very Hatake sleeping peacefully, then to his fingers intertwining yours. You let out a soft breath, “Thank you, Kakashi.”

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#kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi imagines #kakashi hatake x you #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi fluff #kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi angst

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