#the hidden agenda is a third mysterious thing

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

The hidden agenda in "Hidden Agenda":

[lonelylonelyghost]

Decline (2023) is a pretty cool little thing

So, I just stumbled upon this short Cdrama today and ended up watching it in one go. It was actually much better than I expected!

Basically, smart and free-spirited Su Cheng Xi (in white) crosses path with no-nonsense Sui Han Bai (in black) while investigating a strange disappearance of a theatrical troupe, and the fun starts from here.

Hidden identities, the mysteries of the past, treasure maps, murders and bromance - literally, what more could you possibly want??

It's a 20 episodes drama, 10 minute each. Viki combined it into 7 longer ones, which is much better to digest, at least for me.

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The first thing that I noticed was - unexpectedly really good cinematography! I am generally quite lenient towards the technical side of shows, but I still have eyes, and those eyes were pleasantly surprised today. The chase scene at the very beginning was beautifully shot. Do you see the colors? Chef's kiss!

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Second great thing is characters.

Su Cheng Xi - a wandering detective, mischievous and seemingly carefree, but also very sharp and with the hidden agenda:

Sui Han Bai - an uptight and serious constable of Dayong City, follow-the-rules kinda guy... Or so it seems. But more on that later. For now - behold the visage:

When those two meet for the first time, they literally have a battle in slow motion, dramatic song and flower petals in the air. Sure, that's totally normal thing for anyone to do, what are you even talking about.

There are also two female characters present, but they don't feel like being there just to appease the censorship overlords. It's hard for me to say anything about them without spoilers, but the dynamic between them and the boys is interesting.

Yue Xiao Qiao, an assassin from Qianji Pavillion:

Zuo Han Qin, Dayong City Lord's daughter:

This is Zhao Yin, a servant of Su Cheng Xi, he's there and he's nice:

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Third thing is the plot and pacing. This is a crime-solving drama, so there is an (unusually high) number of dead bodies to identify and secrets to uncover. The cases are not overly complicated, but at the same time quite interesting. I managed to guess some of the twists, but was also surprised by others.

Because of the shorter run-time there are no unnecessary fillers, something is always happening to someone. Sometimes several events are going right after another or even simultaneously, and you're sitting here like wtf. But in a good way, you know?

(Skulls are awesome, and frankly there should be more of them in every drama).

And at the same time the pace doesn't feel overly rushed. We have time to witness some dramatic flashbacks, tender scenes and some funny moments sprinkled in between.

Also-also, and this is a slight spoiler, but I know that a lot of people are pissed about generally crappy endings in cdramas, so I'm happy to announce that Decline has a good one! Like, wow, what a rare thing this is. Though not every mystery is solved, so there's a potential for season 2, but at least you won't be left feeling like you've been slapped in the face with a rotten fish afterwards.

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Forth thing (and this is my personal opinion), this drama is definitely a love story between Sui Han Bai and Su Cheng Xi. They obviously don't say anything out loud, and regard each other as "best friends" (this "xiong di qing" aka "brotherly love" excuse has been cracking me up since Guardian), but come on. Like, you literally have several tropes that are common in het romance dramas! And the lengths that they go in order to protect each other? Simply insane.

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Speaking of protectiveness, Sui Han Bai. This guy surprised me the most in terms of his disposition. Based on the initial impression, his dynamic with Su Cheng Xi (playful vs strict), and his archetype that we've all seen in previous dramas, you'd think that you know what kind of character this constable is going to be, right? Well... I don't want to spoil anything, but there was a moment in ep.3 where I was like: "Holy shit, he could just do that?" So I'm just going to put this picture here, and leave it up to you to guess the context:

This was a scene where I was like, I love this guy. Devotion, combined with ruthlessness. Delicious.

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Overall, I really liked it! Adding this little gem to my collection of mystery-solving boys. The history books will write that they were really good friends.

This has been your friendly ghost from Abyss, with some recommendations on how to distract yourself from the horrors of existing（*＾-＾*）

[arcplaysgames]

Actually, no. lemme recap now because I bet once I meet the Big Bad and beat them it'll be like 2 hours of cutscenes and dialogue.

Where did I leave off-- REALLY? THAT LONG AGO? FUCK ME.

Okay SOMEONE remind me LATER to sum up Empress, because I completed it. Note to self, it's around 12/2 in your screencaps.

So Shido wins the elections because it turns out that no one saw the Thieves' big calling card for him, and those who did didn't remember it. There is obviously Some Shit going on with people's mass apathy syndrome.

Because Persona only has one theme and it's "people will be too lazy to pay attention to the truth, fucking sheeple," I guess.

/clucks tongue. I'm not really impressed by this turn of the story, I'm kinda Over the slow increase in apathy that winds up being the undoing of the world until we beat up a god and save everyone. This is the third time, I would have shaken shit up by having the Hidden Big Bad send the Thieves a calling card, demanding they come protect their Treasure, and then you meet the Big Bad and just gimme a villain with a motive, goddamn. It's a supernatural story, the sky's the limit!

I shouldn't kvetch too much yet. Anyway, Shido admits to his crimes, but the populace doesn't seem to care and still supports him.

Shido's lackeys basically go "okay Shido had a major meltdown buuuuuut we can still carry his agenda forward bc if we don't, we're all going down with the ship here."

Excellent question. In P4G I had a pretty strong idea what was doing that and here I do not, can y'all drop some hints?

Morgana points out that the general public has a Palace and has a Treasure. It's Mementos. So if the crew wants to force a mass shift in the world's perception, they can do that. But like all other Palaces, when the Treasure is taken, Mementos will collapse, to be replaced with new, corrected cognition.

In the process, the crew will lose their powers. Oh and Morgana is gonna die.

The game hasn't said that part yet but if they didn't kill Ryuji, they're gonna kill Morgana, fucking bet.

I love you, Morgana Notacat.

This was actually where I got my idea of what Morgana is. Morgana's upgraded Persona is Mercurius/Hermes. Yanno, the god of messages, of thieves, of swiftness, and well-known classic psychopomp.

Morgana keeps remembering himself being born in Mementos. He's without a doubt some manifestation of humanity's rebellion against systems, the literally cognitive patron saint of Phantom Thieves. He's a mascot in the most literal sense, an emblem of good luck for the Thieves' work.

Even the fact he's a cat kind of fits in nicely. Cats are free spirits who opt-into being it other people. They are creatures of choice.

I'm gonna be big sad when Morgana fucking dies lemme tell you. I'm pretty sure he's, like, sustained by Mementos and the plan is to collapse it? Yeah, Morgana is fucked.

Goddamn HERMES, that's so cool. Morgana, our psychopomp into the bowels of the collective unconsciousness.

GODDAMIT NOTIGOR WHAT DO YOU WANT, IT IS CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE, YOU BETTER GIMME PRESENTS.

I know that you know that we all know that this isn't Igor but sometimes it fucking floors me how much he isn't Igor, jesus fucking christ. Who tf is this guy. I hope he's the Big Bad somehow bc there ain't anyone else at this point.

Please don't pull another It Was The Gas Station Attendant, Persona, I'm fucking on my knees begging you.

lmao i love the game poking the player to ensure they noticed Morgana is acting odd

Deep in Mementos is... this..... uh..... thing. A bunch of otherworldly veins flowing down into the core.

/looks nervously around

so uh. is it a hot take to say that, uh, the last segment of this game here, the Mementos Depths, is the ugliest place in the game? Just wondering because wow working through this place, I was struck by how completely aesthetically unappealing all of this is. It should be mysterious and eerie but mostly I am finding it.... blurgh. I thought Kaneshiro's Palace was pretty unappealing too, but this is bad enough I feel the need to remark on it.

/gestures at screen. What is all this????? oh god it reminds me of the Collector Base in Mass Effect 2. Except that game came out in 2010 for the previous generation console. /winces

Anyway.

The Depths of Mementos is a prison of complacency.

All of the Shadows the Thieves defeated are in the prison cells. They are relieved to be there, where they don't have to think. Everything is taken care of for them.

Man, remember back in Persona 3 when it turned out that defeating all the Full Moon shadows was actually the thing that doomed the world? Wouldn't it be hilarious is the Thieves fucked all this up the whole time? l m a o.

I honestly don't know if that's what's happening here yet, I haven't reached, like, the Explanation, but it does feel a bit like alllllllll the way back at the start of the liveblog when I was contending with the ethics of the entire idea of stealing someone's heart and what it does. The game went out of its way to justify doing it with Shido's attempted suicide, but the bridge to far for me (and thankfully for Ann too) was killing these people.

But now what happens seems to be akin to ego death instead, and.... I dunno, man, is that much different than murder?

SIGHS LOUDLY

okay is that true or is this another fucking situation where Izanami is like "WELL REALLY when you THINK ABOUT IT all I'm doing is giving humanity what they really want soooooooooo it makes you think huh, doesn't it make you think"

MAYBE THE GAME WILL PROVE ME WRONG, I DUNNO YET.

oh my god. oh my god.

IGOR!!!!!!!! IGOR IS IN THERE!!!!

LEMME IN!!!!!! LEMME IIIIIIIIN I NEED TO SEE HIMMMMM I NEED TO TALK TO HIM I MISS HIM sobs

yeah no, bet, it's igor's cell. which means Notigor locked him up? maybe Notigor is the final boss, that'd be great, it'd slot in perfectly with this place being a prison and Reverie having been stuck in the shitty Velvet Prison this whole time.

please igor help me, i'm so tired of the edgelord execution shit.

PSYCHOPOMP MORGANA!!!!!!!!!!

me pressing my face against the bars whispering I'll be back for you igor i love you

lol what if it isn't even igor in there can you imagine

[4nt1chri5t]

Whispers of Betrayal - female!readerxDracoFF

In a realm where secrets reign supreme and magic hides as much as it reveals, Whispers of Betrayal weaves a tale of forgotten histories and twisted loyalties. When (Y/N) awakens from a shrouded coma with her memories wiped, Draco Malfoy becomes an unexpected presence, manipulating her into a dangerous dance of trust and deceit. With whispered words and hidden agendas, Draco skilfully turns her against her own friends, sowing seeds of doubt and discord. As loyalties are tested and friendships shattered, (Y/N) must navigate the treacherous web Draco has spun, while desperately searching for the truth that lies in the shadows.

1 - 'A Breath in the Cold'

There she lay, silent in the light snow, seemingly asleep. The sun was still rising and her body temperature was slowly adjusting to the cold air of this December winter morning. Her hair moved slightly from time to time in the light breeze.

Two orange-haired boys crossed the courtyard with mischievous intent until they spotted something different from all the other times they had wandered around the building this early. A black spot shimmering through the snow in the corner of the courtyard.

One of the twins noticed it before the other, and pointed to what he had seen so that his brother would see it too. They both turned towards the unknown thing and tried to analyse what it was, without success. Slowly, they moved towards it and noticed something. The object was... breathing? The boys looked at each other and nodded, pulling out their wands in case whatever they found was dangerous. A few more steps were taken before they noticed something. Recognised, even.

A (y/h/c) strand waving in the air. Slowly, the boys realised. They recognised her. They were no longer looking at something mysterious or dangerous, but at her. Her, as she had been lying there, covered by the snow that had fallen to the ground that night. How long had she been there? It must have been hours, as the snowfall was light.

Without even talking to each other, they somehow just knew what to do next - almost as if they had done it a thousand times before. One boy instinctively pulled off his robe and carefully covered the girl, whose lips were trembling and slightly blue. The other lifted her into his arms in one swift movement.

"She needs to go to the hospital wing right away, she's freezing. Run and get there first so everything is ready for her," the boy holding her said to his twin. Soon they both disappeared into the school corridors as fast as they could.

However, they didn't notice the third pair of eyes that had witnessed the scene, seeing them and watching every single one of their actions, as if he was supervising their every move. Soon after, he also disappeared into the seemingly endless corridors of the castle, his face showing a rather dark and cold expression. He knew exactly where he was going and he walked purposefully towards his destination. His gait could almost be interpreted as intimidating and aggressive if anyone were to witness it.

"Will she be all right?" one of the orange-haired boy asked with a worried undertone in his voice. She clearly wasn't a nobody to them.

"She'll likely be fine, but I can't quite figure out what exactly happened to her. I can only tell you that it's good that you found her. If she had been out there in the cold any longer, we wouldn't have known how she would be now," the nurse said as she pushed some more pillows behind her neck and threw another blanket on top of the many others that already covered her body. She needed to be brought back to normal body temperature after nearly freezing to death on this cold winter morning.

A pale blonde girl hurried into the room. Although she looked worried, she had a soft expression and a calming aura that filled the room as soon as she entered. Without hesitation, she grabbed a chair from one of the other empty beds. She placed it next to the sleeping girl's bed, sat down and took her hand.

"She is so cold, as if death itself had given her one last kiss," the blonde girl said in a voice that was almost soft enough to hypnotise anyone close enough to hear it.

"We found her like this out in the cold," one of the boys began. "Madam Pomfrey isn't quite sure what happened yet, but at least she told us she'd be all right..." the other boy finished.

"Who would do this to you?" the blonde asked the cold girl, as if she could answer. Her thumb made circles on her cold hand, almost as if trying to calm the unresponsive girl.

"Who? Do you mean... someone did this to her? How do you know it was really someone else who did this to her?" one of the boys asked curiously.

"Well, why would she do it to herself?" the pale girl asked in her calm voice. And although at first the boys thought that it could have been an accident, and how stupid that question was - after all, who'd get into an accident on purpose? - but then they realised, why would she be out doing something that could lead to an accident when she wasn't with someone who could help her if something happened? They both knew that she was clever and that she wouldn't do something like that if she was in her right mind. So there was very likely someone who was there with her when whatever happened, happened.

As the day went on, many others came to visit her, especially on this day, as everyone had just heard about what had happened. Some brought flowers, others cards with 'Get well soon' written all over them. A trio of friends also visited the girl. The wild-haired brunette in particular seemed to be worried, while the other two boys seemed to be worried about something other than what was going on in the hospital wing.

Soon the room grew quieter as the number of visitors decreased. Madame Pomfrey began to settle down for the night, ready to be there in case of an emergency. When she was gone, the only sound was the wind blowing a few snowflakes against the windowsill, making a whistling sound. And if you listened closely enough, you could hear the light breathing of the girl. The sun had set early that cold evening, leaving a few softly glowing candles as the only source of light in the dark room.

Light footsteps now made their way towards the hospital room, breaking the silence that had settled in. The footsteps were as light and quiet as they could be, almost as if they were trying to keep a secret from the world beyond these walls. He stopped in front of her bed, but still far enough away to not be associated with her at first sight. Whether that would actually be the case was unclear, as her bed was the only one occupied.

He watched her sleep without making a sound, he didn't want to be seen here with her. Here, even looking after her? He wondered why he had even come here, it seemed such a stupid idea, especially since he had nothing to do with the reason why she was here, he thought to himself. Still, he felt it was his duty to look after her, even though he couldn't do anything to help her - or didn't even seem to like her.

He looked up and down at her a few times, lost in thought. But he didn't stay long that night. He disappeared back into the corridors of the school, now that he knew she wasn't in critical condition. The boy's feelings seemed mixed, almost a mixture of arrogance and guilt, which were completely opposite feelings to mix together.

The night went on, with nothing significant happening. The girl still slept peacefully and still didn't know what had happened to her yet. ------------------------- Hey all! This is my first time posting my FF on Tumblr. I usually write on Wattpad, where this story has currently 8 chaps, new ones uploaded almost daily! You can find it under 'Whispers of Betrayal' by Alaskas_ice. Hope you enjoy it so far and lmk if you have any tips when it comes to posting on here or any constructive criticism

[jscreativestudio]

Random Astrology Thoughts

1ST HOUSE:

The first house begins the zodiac, and covers the all “firsts”: first impressions, the self and appearance, leadership, new initiatives, fresh starts and beginnings. The sign on the cusp, or starting edge, of this house, is referred to as your rising sign or ascendant. (Ruled by Aries)

2ND HOUSE:

The second house covers all matters related to your immediate material and physical environment—taste, smells, sound, touch, sights. The second house also rules income, money, and self-esteem. (Ruled by Taurus)

3RD HOUSE:

The third house rules all forms of communication—talking, thinking, gadgets and devices (cell phones, pagers, Instant Messenger, etc.). The third house also covers siblings, neighborhoods, local travel, libraries, schools, teachers and community affairs. (Ruled by Gemini)

4TH HOUSE:

The Cancer-ruled fourth house sits at the very bottom of the zodiac wheel, and thus, rules the “foundation” of all things. This includes your home, privacy, your basic security, your parents (particularly your mother), children, your own mothering abilities, nurturing, and TLC. (Ruled by Cancer)

5TH HOUSE:

The fifth house is ruled by dramatic Leo, and it governs self-expression, drama, creativity, color, attention, romance, fun and play. (Ruled by Leo)

6TH HOUSE:

The sixth house is the domain of health and service. It rules schedules, organization, routines, fitness, diet and exercise, natural and healthy living, helpfulness and being of service to others. (Ruled by Virgo)

7TH HOUSE:

The seventh house is the sector of relationships and other people. It governs all partnerships, both business and personal, and relationship-associated matters, like contracts, marriage, and business deals. (Ruled by Libra)

8TH HOUSE:

The eighth house is a mysterious sector that rules birth, death, sex, transformation, mysteries, merged energies, and bonding at the deepest level. The eighth house also rules other people’s property and money (real estate, inheritances, investments, et. al. (Ruled by Scorpio)

9TH HOUSE:

The ninth house covers the higher mind, expansion, international and long-distance travel, foreign languages, inspiration, optimism, publishing, broadcasting, universities and higher education, luck, risk, adventure, gambling, religion, philosophy, morals and ethics. (Ruled by Sagittarius)

10TH HOUSE:

The tenth house is at the very top and most public part of the chart. The tenth house governs structures, corporations, tradition, public image, fame, honors, achievements, awards, boundaries, rules, discipline, authority, fathers and fatherhood. The cusp, or border, of the tenth house is also called the midheaven, and it clues astrologers into your career path. (Ruled by Capricorn)

11TH HOUSE:

The eleventh house rules teams, friendships, groups, society, technology, video and electronic media, networking, social justice, rebellion, and humanitarian causes. It also rules originality, eccentricity, sudden events, surprises, invention, astronomy, science fiction and all things futuristic. (Ruled by Aquarius)

12TH HOUSE:

The zodiac completes with the twelfth and final house, which rules endings. This house covers the final stages of a project, tying up loose ends, completions, the afterlife, old age, and surrender. It’s also associated with separation from society, institutions, hospitals, jails, hidden agendas, and secret enemies. And it rules the imagination, creativity, arts, film, dance, poetry, journals, and the subconscious mind. (Ruled by Pisces)

[pupmusebox]

A sigh sounded from the void like mask from the one that Fatui called "Il Capitano" one of who had shown such battle prowess against an Archon, having used frosted blades that crossed with the blistering hot fang of Natlan's fiery Archon yet had to withdraw after some time from that fight.

Nary choice but then again like a knight that had assistance from a third party with the screen of smoke to retreat, only deal with the flaming strike he had been hit by and such flickering flames of the Archon weren't for mere show even if he hated to withdraw at that time.

"Alas nothing has changed, have the years spent produced nothing? Only change that will happen is if I do it myself, hrm..."

Ley lines clearly needed work when having gone about in observing them which proved to his eyes things needed change, only at this rate the Abyss would start encroaching on such a land if it wasn't already and he couldn't stand by and do nothing.

Such eyes seemed concern of this hot land of Natlan but he had his own agenda for things and clearly be having it hidden behind such a void like mask he wore, having that air of mystery when like a dark knight that bore frost blades and claws if the situation called for it while proving why he is called by such a title among his fellow Harbingers.

[alexiethymia]

Jeanne Theories (but more like questions)

A dump for all my questions and theories about Jeanne. In the manga, the third chapter is named after her (Chapter 1 is Vanitas, while Chapter 2 is Noe). Arguably, you could say she’s the third most important character. Among all of the main characters, her past seems to be the one we know least about. This actually ties to my questions relating to vampires and their ages. 

I am a bit confused about how aging works with vampires and how that reflects physically. We have Noe and Dominique who are chronologically the same age as Vanitas. Assuming nothing goes wrong, human Vanitas would die of old age (except we know that isn’t the case), while Noe and Dominique would look physically the same how many years later. Jeanne’s age wasn’t intentionally revealed because I think it ties in with the plot, but we know she’s centuries older than the main cast. She’s been with Ruthven since before the betrayal, and grew up with Chloe. This is where it gets confusing for me. Chloe became a vampire at four, but physically stopped aging at eleven years old. Jean Jaques was also a hidden vampire changed by Babel but he ended up growing and looking older than Chloe (at least physically). Same with Jeanne. She and Chloe met when Jeanne was younger than her, but Jeanne grew up to look like a young woman. I’m curious as to the difference as to why it was only Chloe who stopped growing physically at around eleven years old, although she’s older than Ruthven.

Jeanne’s link to Luna of the Blue Moon

I don’t think the line above is a throw-away line. Jeanne was of Ruthven’s time, and we find out that Luna had also seen her, specifically during the time of the Great War. She left that big of an impact on Luna that they would retell the story to Vanitas (and I presume Mikhail too), which had that much of impact on him as well.

They removed this context from the anime which makes it as if Vanitas heard of Jeanne through stories, except we know from the manga that it was more personal since he heard it from Luna. 

Why exactly did Luna have admiration towards Jeanne? Was it because she was slaughtering Vampires of the Red Moon? But contrary to the rumors, recent chapters would show us that Luna didn’t seem to be a vengeful entity or hold ill-will toward Vampires of the Red Moon. 

Luna was also probably the reason why Vanitas felt an initial connection with Jeanne. Like with his hourglass earring, the name, the book, the gloves, etc., despite their complicated past, Vanitas seems to be (consciously or unconsciously) maintaining a link with Luna. 

Jeanne’s Slumber (possible connections with Sleeping Beauty)

Why was it necessary for Jeanne to sleep all this time? And why did she have to wake up now, at this exact moment in time? What exact thing does Ruthven need to use her for, and for what purpose? Because let’s admit it, Lord Ruthven is shady af. 

It’s also ironic how Jeanne reads Sleeping Beauty and places Vanitas in the princess’ position, when she has more in common with the fairytale. Having to sleep for a hundred years, her mark is that of a rose with thorns evoking the imagery of ‘Briar Rose’ and the spindle, while her epithet ‘Hellfire Witch’ evokes imagery of the evil fairy who could turn into a dragon and breathe fire (admittedly I may be focusing on the Disney version too much). 

We know she’s named after Jeanne d’Arc, a martyr who was burnt at the stake (please, please, let this not be foreshadowing of how she dies) hence the connection to her epithet ‘Hellfire Witch’, but even disregarding how vampires (and perhaps humans as well?) have true names, Vanitas says she was ‘bestowed’ a saintly name. We know she was adopted, and we don’t know the circumstances of her birth which are shrouded in mystery, but could Ruthven have been the one to grant the name ‘Jeanne’ to her? 

If not for the fact that we already had Florifel and Eglantine in the first chapter, I would have thought Jeanne’s true name and malnomen if she gets one later would be connected to the fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty. 

Jeanne’s Malady

The vampires in Vanitas no Carte are different from the stereotypical portrayals of vampires, except for one - Jeanne. Jeanne has that uncontrollable desire to drink blood, and yet as of now, doesn’t appear to be a curse bearer. Based on her patchy memories, we can infer it was Ruthven who made her like this, is the one to supply her with her sketchy medicine, all the while forcing her to swear not to talk about it.

Is she in the same predicament as Loki, Luca’s older brother, forced to have the symptoms of a curse bearer and yet being prevented from being cured, by Ruthven? For what greater purpose? Why is it necessary for Loki to be a curse bearer? And more intriguing than that, why is he consenting to it? It all relates to the Queen somehow, something which no one is privy to except the Oriflamme Family. 

Sleeping Lions

Who could Marquis Machina be referring to? Everyone in the Oriflamme family, and by extension Jeanne, have connections with the imagery of lions and fire (they seem to have an elemental affinity like how Luca displayed, except that Ruthven’s is black fire, which makes me wonder what color Loki’s flames would be if ever). Jeanne can’t seem to manipulate the World Formula like Ruthven and Veronica though. The flames come out of her gauntlet, Carpe Diem. 

In relation to that, I think Misha’s patron is Marquis Machina. In the same way, Marquis Machina built Carpe Diem for Jeanne, I think he built Misha’s hand and dog for him. I mean Marquis Machina doesn’t seem to be working with Ruthven and Charlatan. His pieces seem to be the kin of the Blue Moon (Vanitas and Misha), the dhams, and the De Sade family. It could also be that the De Sade have their own agenda and are just using Marquis Machina or it’s just a mutual beneficial arrangement. If so, an eventually power struggle is bound to break out, possibly between the De Sade and the Oriflamme families, and poor Jeanne will be caught in the middle. Where then does the Shapeless One play into this? Perhaps a third faction? A silent observer? A loyalist to the queen? There’s still too little information to theorize. 

Who could the Sleeping Lion Marquis Machina wants to see wake up be? 

Jeanne, Faustina, Luna, and Naenia

It could just be a stylistic thing, but the long flowing light colored hair seem to be common among all of them. 

In relation to Pandora Hearts and its themes of will and what measure is a person, what if the Jeanne that we know now is just a consciousness inhabiting a body (kind of like Oz and Jack), specifically the queen’s body to be exact. It would certainly be foreshadowing to when she says ‘promise to kill me when I’m no longer myself anymore’.

Alternatively, the current Jeanne we know may just be a vessel or a golem to house the Queen whose body has deteriorated. It certainly would explain why she was treated as a doll even in her earliest memories. ‘Jeanne’ isn’t supposed to exist. 

Although it’s a long shot, since Ruthven has connections with Charlatan, and by extension Dr. Moreau, could ‘No. 70′ have been Jeanne? Again like I said, it’s a long shot. I think it’s likelier that No. 70 is a character we haven’t been introduced to yet. 

Jeanne’s Parents

This is a Mochizuki work. Of course, there’s got to be something to it. Why exactly did they side with the humans so suddenly in the war? What horrible thing did the vampires do to have over a thousand of their kind turn against them? And yet the way it reads, rather than betray Ruthven, I think Jeanne’s parents along with all of the vampires who were slaughtered were sacrificial pawns. Maybe I’m just really biased against Ruthven, but I think he was the one to lead the rebellion of his students, and like Chloe, although he presents himself to be an ally of the current Vampire Monarchy, perhaps he’s just biding his time to get revenge for his students. In working with Charlatan, it’s vampires who he’s harming.

What greater purpose could he have in wanting to assassinate his own nephew or ally himself with a known vampire extermination unit of the Chasseurs (Gano and his ilk) or in killing so many vampires by having their true names corrupted? 

Face to face with Noe, we see in their meeting that Noe says the exact same words Ruthven told Chloe when he was younger. Noe reminds Ruthven of his students, while Ruthven reminds Noe of his teacher. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this, but it seems like the Ruthven of now scorns his past self’s moderate and progressive ideals of vampires and humans living in harmony. He speaks of our side, your side, and Noe having to choose one or the other. And yet all of his collective actions at this point have served not to protect but rather harm vampire kind, which puts him in direct opposition to Vanitas who wants to save vampires. 

In relation to Jeanne, there will be a boiling point. She’s loyal to Luca and she’s loyal to Ruthven. She’s incredibly fond of Dominique. As of now, she also loves Vanitas. And yet down the line, inevitably Luca and Ruthven will be on opposing sides, so I am curious to see how the betrayals and conflicting loyalties will play out. 

[romioneficfest]

Nice to Meet You

Title: Nice to Meet You

Prompt/Day: Enemies to Lovers (Day 8)

Tumblr Name: 

Rating: T

Brief Summary: "The moment I first saw her, I knew I was in trouble." A muggle university AU one-shot featuring Ron/Hermione.

Any possible triggering/warning tags: Mild swearing (because Ron can't clean up his language)

Word Count: 1,490

--

The moment I first saw her, I knew I was in trouble.

On a Saturday night during my final year at university, I was at a massive house party, drinking merrily.

I was on my third round of flip cup when I inadvertently flicked the cup too hard. I watched it soar through the air until it bounced off the top of a girl’s head.

“Oh, fuck,” I chuckled, stumbling my way through the throng of people before my feet landed in front of the large armchair she occupied.

She had long, frizzy, curly hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. The way her nostrils flared back at me,  I suspected that she was pretty mad.

"Sorry about that. I think they’re going to have to cut me off," I apologized, hoping my speech wasn’t too slurred.

The mysterious girl rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything. Her lack of a verbal response offended me, and I couldn’t just walk away.

There was an open book on her lap. "Are you reading? At a party?"

"Yeah. So?"

I was taken aback by her cold demeanor, although I recovered quickly.

"So, I feel like most people come to a party to socialize with other people, not to ignore them. If you want to read, why not just curl up on your sofa at home?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, looking annoyed by my decision to continue chatting with her. She clapped her book shut with a loud thud, her eyes blazing with an emotion that I could only decipher as fury.

“I’ll have you know that I agreed to be the designated driver for my flatmate tonight. I’d rather wait here than drive all the way home and back again. The last thing I want right now is to be interrogated by some clumsy drunk.”

“Ha!” The more I spoke to this girl, the more she riled me up. "You’re quite high and mighty, aren’t you? Aren’t we so lucky that you graced us with your presence tonight—”

“Who are you?” She interjected icily.

“I’m me. A human being. Nice to meet you!” I held out my hand for her to shake in a mock gesture that proved to be ineffective.

“You’re a mess.”

“And you’re a nightmare, honestly.”

Her eyes darkened, and I regretted my choice of words. “If you think I’m such a nightmare, then why are you still standing here speaking with me?”

I bent over and picked up the plastic cup, crushing it between my fingers as I stomped off, leaving the room with the tips of my ears burning. I didn't even catch her name, but I didn't think I wanted it.

--

I stumbled out of bed on Monday morning and trudged my way towards my favorite coffee shop, in desperate need of my daily dose of caffeine to make it through a long day of classes. My head was still throbbing from the events over the weekend, which did nothing to alleviate my sour mood.

When I pushed open the door, the wafting odor of coffee beans invaded my nostrils. Before I could seek out the counter to place my order, my eyes landed on someone that made me freeze in place.

Bloody fucking course.

It was the girl from the party. I almost laughed out loud. She still had her nose deep in a book despite the location change.

Sighing to myself, I walked up to the counter to place my usual order — black.

I sat on the stool at the bar counter, observing the infuriating girl as I waited for my coffee. I shook my head in amazement. She never looked up from her bloody book. Not even once.

My name was called, and I wrapped my calloused hand around the to-go cup, nodding my head in appreciation towards the barista. My hand was on the door when I paused. For reasons unknown at the time, something was pulling me back. My feet started to move of their own volition until I was standing in front of her table.

I waited a few moments for her to notice me, but of course, she still had her head buried in that book of hers. Eventually, I cleared my throat, and she raised her head with her brows furrowed and her lips pressed in a thin line.

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Fancy meeting you here,” I smirked.

“Something I can help you with?” She sighed through gritted teeth.

I tapped my chin, pretending to think. “Oh, I don’t know. Depends on if you’re ready to apologize to me for Saturday night.”

The girl’s eyebrows raised so high they disappeared underneath her fringe. “Me? Apologize to you? After you were the one who called me a nightmare? Don’t make me laugh.”

“Only because you said I was a mess first!” I never realized how petty I was until now. I decided to switch gears. “Look, I’m sorry for hitting you in the head. And I think we got off to an awkward start. My name is—”

“I know who you are. You’re Ron Weasley,” she said matter-of-factly.  

I winced, feeling guilty. “I didn’t think we’d ever met before.”

“We haven’t met properly. But we’ve shared many classes.”

“I think I would’ve noticed if—”

“We have. And you definitely didn’t notice me until last Saturday.”

The pit in my stomach grew. “Well, I’d like to know you now.” I stuck out my hand in a gesture meant as a peace offering. “I’m Ron Weasley. And, you are?”

The girl studied me for a long, hard minute before extending her hand forward. “I’m Hermione Granger.”

I couldn’t understand why my heart started racing, or why I had to wipe my sweaty palm on my trousers after letting go of her hand.

“Well, Hermione Granger, it's nice to meet you.”

--

When I finally realized that I was attracted to her, I was already a goner.

It was near the end of my final year at university when I had first stepped foot into the school library, and it was all because of her.

Hermione looked surprised to see me and even more startled to see the pile of books I had tucked underneath my arm. Wordlessly, I sat down at her table across from her and began to flip through the textbooks of the classes I knew we shared.

We continued meeting in the library weekly, studying in silence. It wasn’t until one day in late spring, when we had the entire library to ourselves, that she finally spoke.

“Why are you here?”

I tilted my head. “I’m here every week.”

“I know that. But, why?”

“I want to be.”

“And why is that?”

“Do I have to have a reason?”

“Everyone always has a reason for doing something.”

“I like you, okay?”

“And there is no hidden agenda?”

“Why does there have to be a hidden agenda to spend time with someone? Up until right now, I was quite enjoying your company.”

“Oh, so now you’re not?”

“Not really, no. Not if you’re going to keep making me out to be someone I’m not.”

“And who are you, Ron Weasley?”

“I’m someone who doesn’t need to take this shit. I’m out of here.” I shuffled my books into my bag, ignoring her calls as I charged out the door.

The door slammed shut behind me with a resounding bang. I clenched my fists at my side and willed myself not to look back. After a few steadying breaths, I knew there was only one choice to make.

I turned around.

I saw her crying, and all I wanted to do was wipe the tears away. The pang in my chest indicated I was the reason she was upset.

I turned the knob on the door, listening to the sound of it creak as I opened it just enough to slide through the crack.

Hermione placed a hand over her heart, appearing startled to see me again. She used the pads of her thumbs to wipe away the tear stains, her face flushed. All I could think about was how beautiful she still looked, despite how open and vulnerable she was at that moment.

With more determination than I had ever felt before, I rushed towards her, watching her lips part and eyes widen in surprise as I drew closer. I cupped both of her cheeks with my large hands, dipped my head low, and kissed her full on the mouth. She responded fervently, clutching at my shoulders as our lips roamed together. It felt natural and right.

I pulled back mere centimeters and whispered on her lips. “Do you get it now?”

“Y-yeah.”

I searched her eyes, my hands still cupping her face. “I’m going to sit back down, and we’re going to keep studying together. Okay?”

The corners of her lips curved up into the first smile I ever saw from her. “Okay.”

[subwalls]

Tales from the SMP Presents: The Haunted Mansion

An ongoing exploration of how the Inbetween drives my Kingdom Hearts brain crazy with paranoia! Less of an analysis this time, because we got confirmation (VALIDATION!!), and more of speculation, but yeah!

First of all! I was right not to trust this fucker.

Just kidding, that’s not the first thing we’re gonna talk about here. First of all, a gentle recap!

As I’ve mentioned before, the Inbetween has some uncanny resemblance to the Kingdom Hearts world known as Castle Oblivion. Castle Oblivion is known for being the place where the main series protagonist lost all of his memories, and even had false memories implanted while he was getting deeper and deeper into it. 

You might be curious as to how the Kingdom Hearts protagonist escapes.

He doesn’t.

He needs outside help, and a lot of it, to get him out of that situation. Even then, it takes a whole year. He drove his own heart into the bottom of the abyss in his desperation to save someone he was tricked into thinking he knew, and he didn’t even regret it, because he was saving someone.

... A lot of people on Dream SMP have different ideas on what it means to save people.

Also, the castle also had a very plot-twisty secret where it used to be the lush and wonderful home of these three friends before they fell apart; one was lost to the Evil Dark Side™ (not real name), the other was trapped in the Realm of Darkness (real name), and the last one fell into a coma for TEN (10) YEARS and his body was left to be protected in the heart of the land, which was then locked and turned into Castle Oblivion.

So, pretty fucked up place! Not inherently evil, but the place of great misfortune and just... not very good for everyone there.

Let’s start at the beginning!

Welcome back indeed. Take notice of the wither rose in the pot, by the way, I’ll come back to this in a bit.

The first thing that stands out to me on this page is the smiley face, of course. It’s not the ever-iconic, ever-evil “:)”, but it’s similar enough that I think the callback is intentional. The smiley is c!Dream’s icon, of course, which... honestly makes me think that “:]” might be DreamXD, but that might be because I’m very very biased for the server god who simps for a dangerously apathetic cottagecore once-king.

Of course, it does also look kind of like Quackity’s face, and cc!Quackity has said something about big lore coming for him, but until further evidence is presented I’m disinclined to draw a connection there.

The Inbetween, as we’ve come to know the author of some of these books to be, being happy that Karl is continuing—it reminds me of the KH protagonist being told yes, good job, keep going, as he stumbles deeper and deeper into the castle that strips away memory after memory from his heart. Why does the Inbetween think that Karl’s time travel is important, his careful documentation of every story? Is it because the more he does it, the more he becomes attached? The more he becomes reliant on the Inbetween to feed the missing pieces of his memory?

Is it because the Inbetween, in parallel to c!Dream and c!Wilbur, prioritize the concept of story over the characters?

Things to think about. 🤔

Also kind of interesting that the Inbetween thinks Karl will eventually uncover “all [he] needs to”, which continues to make me think that the more c!Karl comes to the Inbetween the more he becomes... either dependent or over-trusting of it. Not sure. But weird things happen when it’s magic that tampers with memories, rather than trauma.

Basically, I’m getting “there is no war in Ba Sing Se” vibes.

The book continues to say that Karl probably has a lot of questions and that it would love to answer :] but never actually does. It’s trying to come off as helpful without actually being helpful. All it does is tempt him with the prospect of answers, and then draws him in deeper. “Continue onward, Karl.” But why?

Another wither rose pot.

Sidestepping the very innocuous, very surface-level information offered here (because that’s it, it’s nothing about the workings about the Inbetween, it’s just a little sweet carrot to distract with), I cannot even begin to convey the absolute terror that consumed me at the word “sleepy.”

I mentioned earlier that one of the original characters who lived in the land that would become Castle Oblivion went into a coma, right? But it’s more commonly referred to as sleeping. The game is even called “Birth by Sleep”, and there’s a whole thing about trying to get him to “wake up”. So the idea that time travel can take something out of the traveller that makes them tired, the idea that there is one specific room for sleeping quarters within the Inbetween, paired with that not-quite-right smiley face—I am traumatized, I tell you.

Yes it could be a “haha look what I did with the sentence, because day is a form of time and they time travel so long day is a funny term” kind of smiley, but. Kingdom Hearts has trained me to be suspicious of any talk of sleep.

There’s something just mildly unsettling about the way it continues, with the references to the “many Karls” and the “many many great stories” that sounds borderline condescending.

And now we get the, uh, “other” author. Notice how this one actually did not have a corresponding wither rose in a pot. I’m starting to think that the flower might actually be an indicator of the not-this-author-pictured-above, the probably-Inbetween-itself, so the fact that this book was found separately from a wither rose pot and it was tucked away under a tree... A tree, under which c!Karl will later find a bit of a refuge... yeah, different author. Or at least an author from a different time.

I’ll elaborate in a moment, but I do think that there’s three (3) mindsets/authors happening here: the sickly sweet Inbetween pretending to be good, the person trying to get c!Karl to distrust the Inbetween, and... someone who desperately wants c!Karl to stay in line.

This is the third... I don’t want to say author, because it too has the wither rose pot and is trying to keep c!Karl playing along with the Inbetween, but it’s much less coherent and much more desperate.

No “:]”, either.

Some possibilities I’m considering:

the Inbetween, but it’s like, a security subroutine or a glitch in the system,

the Inbetween, but it’s from a future wherein c!Karl has fucked it up to the point of desperation,

Karl / the other author, but it’s from a future, where trying to stray from the Inbetween resulted in something traumatic happening and they don’t want it to happen anymore.

Some fun possibilities to keep in mind. Anyway!

Ooh, the return of the wither rose pot.

For this part, the only thing I really have to say is that the repetition of the Inbetween trying to present itself as “a place to feel at ease” is... Well, as the lovely Fear has said in this post linked here, a place that tries and makes itself seem safe probably isn’t, because a genuinely safe place wouldn’t need to announce it all the time.

Very much sounding like a Ba Sing Se thing.

More importantly, the book actually says that it’s “wild” how the Inbetween is “so beautiful that even time travellers who go anywhere at anytime ever and they still choose here” with a good old “:]” tacked on at the end. That’s... that’s not just me thinking like that sounds kind of threatening, right? Like, time travellers can see anything anywhere, and they keep coming back to the Inbetween. Why?

Is it because they forget the beauty of anything else? Is it because it’s not beauty, but rather attachment and emotion that keeps someone going back to a place? If someone forgets their loved ones and precious things, then why would they go anywhere but the place where they’ve put all their stories?

Why did KH’s protagonist keep going deeper into Castle Oblivion even though he knew that the castle was taking apart his memories? Because he had one thing left: the fake, implanted memory, which told him that in order to save someone, he needed to push on no matter the personal cost.

So the real question is: are the time travellers coming back to the Inbetween because they want to, or because they no longer have a choice?

It regards all the different Karls with such... distant affection, too. “How beautiful,” it calls them, for wandering the blank halls with blank stares and blank hearts, none of which react to each other. It says that they “choose” to walk the halls, uncover mysteries, and tell stories. But what was the other choice? Was it really a choice at all?

Hmm.

Karl goes on to explore, and finds another book that does not have a wither rose pot, which tells him he has to go Under The Tree.mp3 and informs him that he “can’t afford not to”. Cool. Not ominous at all.

He finds another, which says the same thing.

Definitely not ominous. /s

The phrasing here is interesting, because it’s also phrased like a threat. Usually, when someone tells you that you “can’t afford not to”, you’re either looking at a scam or at the business end of a weapon. But the empty pages tell you that the author is trying to keep it down low. That’s one of the ways Minecraft players have found to express tone in the very limited form of Minecraft books, and it works splendidly.

Not to push my DreamXD agenda, but like... the door was iron. Iron doors are a weakness for Dreams and dreamons and, mayhaps, Dream’s dreamon.

I know it’s probably just because the iron door keeps in line with the color palette of the build but let me dream, alright.

Anyway, book content! And an interesting point of order: there is a wither rose pot. I said earlier that it might be an indicator of the Inbetween as an author, but that doesn’t make much sense now, does it? This is meant to be a place hidden from the “it” that I assume to be either the Inbetween itself or the one/s controlling it.

So why the wither rose pot inconsistency?

Unless it doesn’t mean that. Unless it’s just a metaphor for, say, memories withering away or something. Or maybe it’s just a pretty plant, for funsies! Who knows. If I had to guess, I’d say that (after much reflection) it’s likely less a mark of author and more a theme of, mm, memory status. The withering away of memories. It fits in with the Inbetween, because that’s what might be responsible for it, but the author/s of the book aren’t immune, either. They get blinks of clarity, with the hidden, tucked-away tomes, but they might not be completely free.

The next book, however, again lacks the wither rose pot. It might not be a coincidence that the one without the potential mark of a withering memory is the one that actually divulges some more information.

This book goes into slightly more detail about the warning, though not about whatever actual threat it is that the castle (which... Castle Oblivion, you know) presents.

It says that 1) it’s not what it seems, 2) the "truth about the other forms of you”, 3) this place “is not okay”, and 4) get in that portal we saw that was blocked off before.

We know that the Inbetween isn’t what it seems, but the “truth” about the other forms... Hm. This is, in fact, another Kingdom Hearts Thing. There’s a running joke that everyone on the very large cast of characters in KH that in the end, every person is actually either secretly a version of the antagonist (through possession or body splitting or whatever), or a version of the protagonist (through similar concepts). Multiple bodies and other forms is definitely a Thing in KH, though it’s not as oh-god-not-again definitely-bad as the sleeping thing.

I think the other forms have either become reliant on the Inbetween or have forgotten everything but the Inbetween, or both. Maybe more of the prior, since the warning is against trusting the place.

And, uh, this? Fucking terrifying. I love it to pieces.

Every single one of these books has a wither rose pot, and this is kind of why I think that the Inbetween or its master/s is, in some way, possibly functioning via routines and like... an AI. Or a genius loci kind of thing.

But good news, there aren’t 13 books, there are 14! This is important for Kingdom Hearts reasons, because Kingdom Hearts has a big thing about the numbers 13 and 7 (13 is the number of pieces of darkness, and 7 is the number of pieces of light, and this is equal somehow, don’t question it).

Now, 14 is an important meme number in the MCYT fandom, of course, but I don’t think it has terribly too much to do with the lore beyond a fun easter egg.

The books themselves trying to tell c!Karl to, essentially, go with the flow and the path that the Inbetween has set up for him is... something. I like the idea that it’s some future version of something trying to stop something from happening, but we all know it’s probably not going to work. Fun times.

And finally, this.

The Inbetween is a bit of a narcissist, huh? It won’t shut up about how it’s so pretty and irresistible and the whole definition of, like, a honey trap. Oh my god it even describes it as ~mysterious~ as a good trait, that’s hilarious.

More pertinently, it also calls the Inbetween “a time traveller’s dream”.

A time traveller’s. Dream.

Again, not to push my DreamXD agenda, BUT—

But! Getting back on track, the book expresses its eagerness to see Karl again, says their relationship is gonna be great, reminds him that his stories are important, and then tells him that he needs the Inbetween/author just like the SMP needs him.

Uh. He’s going to need the Inbetween?

Hello?

Why? How? So far it’s presented itself as being pretty and perfect but it never said anything about necessity! What’s going on!

Very much reminded of how Castle Oblivion was presented as “you need to keep going in even though it takes your memories away because there’s someone you need to save [fake but you don’t know that because you don’t remember anything]”, and I am afright.

Talk about subtle strings being tugged at here. I’m really seeing the beginning seeds of a dependency thing being sown, and if it weren’t for the side books painting giant neon warning signs everywhere, I don’t know if it would’ve caught on. An artificially cultivated concept of how important and great the Inbetween is, and don’t you just want to take all those stories from that messy world elsewhere but come back here in the end to take a break and exist and explore and oh, isn’t the Inbetween great, isn’t it wonderful?

Man, c!Dream wishes he was this good at subtle manipulation.

tldr; there are multiple authors trying to tug c!Karl in different directions via those books. The Kingdom Hearts parallels predict that his memory will be at stake, and he might not be able to escape without help.

[ireadyabooks]

Books to Read in 2021

It’s a NEW YEAR, everyone! 

We made it through 2020, and whether or not you hit your reading goal this past year, don’t worry! 2021 is a new year for your TBR, and we have an AMAZING line-up of books you should add to your reading list ASAP.

THE LIFE I’M IN 

This story of the power of forgiveness and second chances presents the unflinching story of a young woman trapped in the underworld of human trafficking. In Sharon G. Flake's latest and unflinching novel, we follow Charlese Jones, who, with her raw, blistering voice speaks the truths many girls face, offering insight to some of the causes and conditions that make a bully. Turned out of the only home she has known, Char boards a bus to nowhere where she is lured into the dangerous web of human trafficking.

HOLD BACK THE TIDE

A darkly seductive story of murder, betrayal, love, and family secrets in a small town in the Scottish Highlands. Alva knows that her father killed her mother, but she can’t prove it. The more she investigates though, the more she realizes that the truth can be more monstrous than lies/ And while you might be able to outrun anything that emerges from the dark water, you can never escape your past . . .

MUTED 

Denver is more than ready on the day she and her best friends Dali and Shak sing their way into the orbit of the biggest R&B star in the world, Sean "Mercury" Ellis. Merc gives them everything: parties, perks, wild nights -- plus hours and hours in the recording studio. Even the painful sacrifices and the lies the girls have to tell are all worth it. Until they're not. Denver begins to realize that she's trapped in Merc's world, struggling to hold on to her own voice. As the dream turns into a nightmare, she must make a choice: lose her big break, or get broken.

THE POETRY OF SECRETS

A lyrical portrait of hidden identities and forbidden love set against the harrowing backdrop of the Spanish Inquisition. Isabel’s dreams to pursue poetry and a partner of her own choosing are thrown into jeopardy when the Spanish Inquisition reaches her small town. 

SHURI #2: THE VANISHED 

Shuri, the Princess of Wakanda (and sister to the Black Panther), sets out to save a group of kidnapped girls in this all-new, original novel by New York Times bestselling author Nic Stone!

BRIDGE OF SOULS

Where there are ghosts, Cassidy Blake follows . . .unless it's the other way around? Cass thinks she might have this ghost-hunting thing down. But nothing can prepare Cass for New Orleans, which wears all of its hauntings on its sleeve. And the city's biggest surprise is a foe Cass never expected to face: a servant of Death itself.

FOLLOW YOUR ARROW

When bisexual influencer CeCe breaks up with her girlfriend, Silvie, she’s devastated. But then she starts falling for a new guy who has no idea she’s internet famous...and CeCe wants to keep it that way. But as her secrets catch up to her, she finds herself in the middle of an online storm, where she'll have to confront the blurriness of public vs. private life, and figure out what it really means to speak her truth.   

MIRROR’S EDGE

The danger rises and the deception grows in the heart-stopping third book in the New York Times bestselling Impostors series! Are twins Frey and Rafi on the same side . . . or are they playing to their own agendas? If their father is deposed from Shreve, who will take control? And what other forces may be waiting in the wings?

ZARA HOSSAIN IS HERE

Zara's family has waited years for their visa process to be finalized so that they can officially become US citizens. While dealing with the Islamophobia that she faces at school, Zara has to lay low. But when her tormentor vandalizes her house with racist graffiti, a violent crime puts Zara’s entire future at risk. Now she must pay the ultimate price and choose between fighting to stay in the only place she's ever called home or losing the life she loves and everyone in it.

REMEDY

It's a mystery - why is Cara so sick? It feels like she's been sick all her life . . . but she and her mom have never stayed in one place long enough for doctors to really understand what's happening to her. Now, at fourteen, Cara is tired of being tired, and sick of being sick. Unable to afford the care she needs, Cara's mom starts a Caring for Cara campaign online. The money starts pouring in. But something's not right to Cara. And the harder she looks, the less she understands.

HEARTSTOPPER VOLUME 3

The third volume in the poignant and sweet Heartstopper series, featuring beautiful two-color artwork! Charlie didn't think Nick could ever like him back, but now they're officially boyfriends. Nick has even found the courage to come out to his mom. But coming out isn't something that happens just once, and Nick and Charlie try to figure out when to tell their friends that they're dating. Not being out to their classmates gets even harder during a school trip to Paris. As Nick and Charlie's feelings get more serious, they'll need each other more than ever.

THE BLOCK

In the second book of The Loop trilogy, Luka is trapped in a fate worse than death. But now that he knows the truth about what he and his fellow inmates are being used for, it's more important than ever that he not only escapes, but that he builds an army.

ON THE HOOK

Hector has always minded his own business while he works towards a better life. Until Joey, whose older brother, Chavo, is head of the Discípulos gang, tells Hector that he's going to kill him: maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday. And Hector, frozen with fear, does nothing. From that day forward, Hector's death is hanging over his head every time he leaves the house. But when a fight between Chavo and Hector's brother escalates, Hector is left with no choice but to take a stand. It's up to Hector to choose whether he's going to lose himself to revenge or get back to the hard work of living.

MISTER IMPOSSIBLE

Do the dreamers need the ley lines to save the world . . . or will their actions end up dooming the world? As Ronan, Hennessy, and Bryde try to make dreamers more powerful, the Moderators are closing in, sure that this power will bring about disaster. In the remarkable second book of The Dreamer Trilogy, Maggie Stiefvater pushes her characters to their limits – and shows what happens to them and others when they start to break.

THE GHOSTS WE KEEP 

Everything happens for a reason.At least that's what everyone keeps telling Liam Cooper after his older brother Ethan is killed suddenly in a hit-and-run. Feeling more alone and isolated than ever, Liam has to not only learn to face the world without one of the people he loved the most, but also face the fading relationships of his two best friends in the process. Soon, Liam finds themself spending time with Ethan's best friend, Marcus, who might just be the only person that seems to know exactly what they're going through - for better and for worse.

SIMONE BREAKS ALL THE RULES

Simone is shaking things up by making a bucket list of everything she hasn’t been able to do thanks to her strict Haitian immigrant parents. But as the list takes on a life of its own, things get much more complicated than Simone expected. She'll have to discover which rules are worth breaking, and which might save her from heartbreak.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

Skylar is ready to show everyone that her latest app is brilliant by winning an academic competition. To do that, she's going to use it to win State at the Scholastic Exposition, the nerdiest academic competition around. But when she falls for one of her team members and things get complicated, is her path to greatness over before it begins?

THE GIRL FROM THE SEA

A graphic novel about family, romance, and first love! Morgan's biggest secret is that she has a lot of secrets, including the one about wanting to kiss another girl. Then one night, Morgan is saved from drowning by a mysterious girl named Keltie. The two become friends and suddenly life on the island doesn't seem so stifling anymore. But Keltie has some secrets of her own. And as the girls start to fall in love, everything they're each trying to hide will find its way to the surface...whether Morgan is ready or not.

RISE TO THE SUN

Three days. Two girls. One life-changing music festival. Toni is reeling in the wake of the loss of her roadie father and desperate to figure out where her life will go from here. Olivia is a hopeless romantic whose heart has just taken a beating (again). When the two collide at the Farmland Music and Arts Festival, it feels like kismet. But when something goes wrong and the festival is sent into a panic, Toni and Olivia find that they need each other, and the music, more than they ever imagined.

YOU & ME AT THE END OF THE WORLD

Hannah Ashton wakes up to silence. The entire city around her is empty, except for one other person: Leo Sterling. Leo might be the hottest boy ever (and not just because he's the only one left), but he's also too charming, too selfish, and too devastating for his own good, let alone Hannah's. Together, they search for answers amid crushing isolation. But while their empty world may appear harmless . . . it's not. Because nothing is quite as it seems, and if Hannah and Leo don't figure out what's going on, they might just be torn apart forever.

IN THE SAME BOAT 

Sadie is ready for the race of a lifetime: The Texas River Odyssey. But then her brother ditches her and she has to pair up with her former best friend, Cully. It's irritating enough that he grew up to be so attractive, but once they're on the river it turns out he's ill-prepared for such a dangerous race. But as the miles pass, the pain of the race builds, they uncover the truth about their feuding families, and Sadie's feelings for Cully begin to shift. Could this race change her life more than she ever could have imagined?

THE GREAT DESTROYERS 

In this alternate-history novel, Jo joins the Pax Games: an Olympics-style competition that pits pilots of mechas against each other. But when fighters start dying in the arena, Jo is drawn into a deadly political plot. In a global arms race between superpowers, playing out in violent games that only humanity could create, comes a chilling story of clashing titans, ruthless competition, freedom, and the girl caught in the middle of it all.

[macolegacy]

RYLEN

chiss/human (cyb.) | early 30s | agent operative 
enby(they/he) | bisexual | 1.78m | 5’10“ | vibroknives & blaster

Born in imperial labs on kaas, they were part of a long-term, highly secret experiment to combine traits of different species and infuse them with midichlorians to create better, deadlier soldiers and agents for the empire. Super soldiers if you will.

The specimen are force sensitive, enough to get an edge in a fight (more than your average soldier) while not being sensitive enough to dominate a Sith - at least that were the average outcomes so far… 

Rylen was one of the few to survive past the age of 20; they have been groomed and trained for the role of an infiltration agent and have been the most successful specimen to date

Not only did they excel in physical and psychological exams, but they were very attuned in the force as well - so much that it frightened the doctors and sith lords overseeing the experiment all the same. The decision was clear; Rylen had to be out out of the field or eliminated, lest they use the power against the empire or a sith.

They were sent to the imperial prison on nar shaddaa, waiting in a cell to be killed. However, when they were sent there, Darth Vrupet was on the planet as well, checking up on her cult.

She heard of the mysterious agent before and was curious. She visited them in their cell, and decided to take them with her, took them under her wing so to speak. Since then, they have been working for her as her personal agent and right hand man.

Rylen knew they were would have died had it not been for Vrupet, and they’re grateful she got them out of there

They aren’t loyal to the empire anymore; they only answer to their Darth and no one else. Vrupet treats them like a person and not like a tool, and respects them as such. She gives them freedom to act, which they have never been able to do before. One might even call them friends.

One of their many permanent tasks is to check up on Vrupet’s business and negotiations on Nar shaddaa, especially her cult that is growing by the minute. Sometimes she would accompany them if she isn’t busy elsewhere. She would also tell them to take some time off while they’re there already, knowing that they’re a major workaholic.

That’s basically how they got to know Ataqo. They were visiting the star cluster casino, where Ataqo worked as a barkeep. Ataqo saw that rylen wasn’t super comfortable in the casino, so he tried to cheer him up a little with light conversation and a few drinks. surprisingly, the two hit right off to a good start and went to ataqo’s apartment later on. they weren’t aware of each other’s affiliation (SIS and Intelligence) at that time.

they didn’t see each other for a long time after that, Rylen going back to their duties on Kaas.

However, at some point Rylen was sent to nar shaddaa to investigate (&eliminate) a growing gang that has been attacking vrupet’s cult and other civilians, and poisoning the water supply for whole quarters simply to cause mayhem.

While infiltrating the hideout, Rylen stumbled upon ataqo doing the exact same thing. confusion ensued, but both of them decided to team up and clear things later after this was all done. they work very well together. after they finished their job and reports, they met again that night.

So by the time they met the third time both know of each others true jobs, and, despite their better judgement, it has grown into a frenemies with benefits situation. and of course they started catching feelings bc i am a whore for that kind of shit!! Things got messy, both agreed to try and stop whatever this was (for the better) but they just couldn’t pull through with it. they kept coming back to each other, despite their better judgement

Rylen kept their relationship hidden for a long time, but they wanted to tell Vrupet about it, feeling guilty, because they’ve been open to her about everything before. When they did decide to tell her, she was quite forthcoming about it. Vrupet didn’t mind the little love story as long as Rylen wouldn’t spill anything that might get the SIS to ruin her own agenda, but she trusted their judgement.

By now Rylen basically sleeps at Ataqo’s shitty little apartment every time they’re on shaddaa. It just feels like home

Related Characters: Ataqo | Vrupet

[space-------kid]

Ack! It’s perfectly okay! But in short, Akaza, not hakuji, is human, still apart of the 12 moons, meets a flower shop owner, who after becoming friends with, ends up showing him a flower that they found, the blue spider lily, the flower of which he needs, and he contemplates over turning it in and potentially risking the owner’s safety (cause like, hey, where’d ya get the flower) and keeping here and potentially getting in trouble for not finding it. Maybe smol angst with a fluff ending?

Thank you for your patience, understanding, and clarification - I appreciate them very much! 😭💕💕💕

I hope you like what I come up with, anon! 😊💕

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓫𝔂𝓮, 𝓶𝓻. 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓮𝓯 𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃!𝒜𝓀𝒶𝓏𝒶 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

              The strum of Nakime’s biwa is the last thing he hears before he is transported away from the Dimensional Infinity Fortress. Akaza gets up from his kneeling position, sleep-deprived and mentally exhausted from his meeting with the demon he calls his master. Behind him, the sun is starting to rise from the horizon, signifying a new day he has to face with only one thing in mind.

                Despite his abhorrence for humans, Kibutsuji Muzan finds it in himself to tolerate the presence of the only man occupying a spot among his Twelve Demon Moons, more so giving said man the title of Upper Moon Three  – the rank branded on his back. Human though he may be, Akaza knows that Muzan favours him along with the top two Upper Moons because of his many uses. For one, no one will suspect that a human like him is willingly working for a demon. And two, he proves to be more useful in the progenitor of the demon’s search for the mysterious blue spider lily - having the capacity to look for the flowers in broad daylight rather than being limited by night. Perhaps these are simply the reason why Akaza hasn’t been turned into a demon yet, and he’d rather not if he’s being completely honest.

                The danger of being eaten or mercilessly killed by his fellow Moons remain, however, and it pervades within the ranks of the Lower Moons. While the Upper Moons may have been lenient because they also recognize the uses of a human belonging in the ranks and being of service to Muzan, the Lower ones hate Akaza with a burning passion. How could one measly human gain Muzan’s favour, something they can’t even obtain (maybe with the exception of Lower Five, Rui, who sees Muzan as a father-figure and Akaza some sort of an older brother)?

                But Akaza is used to the threats by now. He’s learned to live with every single one of them -- that, after all, is what it means to be a human who chooses to be subservient to the creator of demonkind.

                Prepared for another long day ahead of him, Akaza squares his shoulders and sets off on his journey.

--

                Akaza’s trail leads him to a post town called Magome located in the Kiso Valley.

                While the town doesn’t look promising enough with regards to his journey, the third Upper Moon still sees the charm of the place itself. He initially plans to stay only for a day and move along with his search, but he hears talk of Demon Slayers converging on the next town he is headed so he decides to lay low for a few days. While he is confident that he can take them on with the use of his Destructive Kill Style - a self-taught Breath Style he has formulated to oppose the Demon Slayers’ - he finds it prudent that secrecy will better help him with his quest for the time being.

                Akaza, however, doesn’t count on finding all three inns in the town fully booked. His displeasure must have shown on his face because most of the townspeople have been veering off his general direction. He would have ignored them, but a soft tap on his shoulder sends him turning around to look at whoever it is with a glare.

                Looking back, Akaza doesn’t expect that his short stay in Magome will earn him a friend in the form of [Name], an unassuming yet kind owner of the sole flower shop in the town. She has heard of his plight and - as her usual routine - offers to let him stay in her home above the shop. Akaza wants to turn down her request for he barely knows her save for some of the townsfolk encouraging him to do so. After all, they say, [Name] is known to take in those who have been unfortunate enough to be unable to find a place to stay in during their time in the town.

               He continues to harbour doubt. What if he’s a thief who wants to take advantage of her offer? What if he’s a murderer? His questions and doubt are short-lived, for [Name] is completely safe under the protection of three older brothers who live close. While not being a part of the Imperial Army nor his enemy the Demon Slayers, [Name]’s siblings are capable fighters who dabble in kyūdō, jiu-jitsu, and kenjutsu each. Despite being capable of defeating all three of them easily should a combat ensue, Akaza is more than satisfied with the knowledge that the unexpected and only friend he’s ever made is safe from the scum of humanity.

                And despite his better judgement, Akaza has actually enjoyed his short stay with [Name]. Aside from her kindness, he sees that she’s also understanding and considerate with other people’s plight. She seems to also possess the patience of a saint, and only gets angry for the right reasons. She knows not to pry with other people’s business if they choose to be secretive, but she’s also perceptive enough to know if someone is bearing any malicious intent or ill will towards her. But what Akaza finds endearing about her the most is that she is a genuine person - every action and decision she makes doesn’t contain even an ounce of a hidden agenda of some sort.

                After his stay, Akaza surprises himself with visiting [Name] at Magome whenever he can. He thinks at first that she will make a great asset with his search for the blue spider lily, what with her owning a flower shop and all. Slowly, however, he finds that the reason for his visit becomes less and less about the rare and mysterious his master has long coveted.

               The Upper Moon incognito gratefully accepts the tea [Name] serves him, fighting the urge to blush under her kind gaze. A bright smile is painted on her face as she begins chattering about the goings on in the town during his absence. Akaza shares the mundane events he encounters as well, mindful not to expose who he is, what his reasons for traveling are, and who he is allied with.

               “…then my brothers chased him away and threatened to throw him to prison if he ever sets foot in town because I found out that he’s a liar and has already promised the tailor Hanako-san marriage!” [Name] recounts of a time, during Akaza’s absence, where a shameless man attempted to court her despite being already engaged to one of her friends. “You would’ve disliked him instantly if you’ve been here and saw what he did, Akaza-san. That man has no respect for women!”

               Akaza quietly agrees, and it doesn’t escape his notice why the offender would offer [Name] courtship. She’s single and at the perfect age to get married. Aside from her behaviour, she is also an undeniably beautiful woman, with lively [colour] eyes, [length and colour] hair that flows like silk, and [tone] unblemished skin. She is very attractive, both in appearance and personality, and Akaza would be a hypocrite if he denies ever wondering what she’d look like in a shiromuku.

               Heat spreads on Akaza’s cheeks at the thought. Maybe… maybe when he’s done with his quest and Lord Muzan has finally achieved his goal, maybe Akaza can…

               He shakes his head at the thought. As much as he wants to court [Name] and later ask for her hand in marriage, he has a feeling that his master may not approve.

               But maybe Lord Muzan can make an exception? Maybe if Akaza can finally present the demon lord his long coveted blue spider lilies, maybe he’ll grant the third Upper Moon any desire he’d request?

               Akaza falters, almost dropping the cup and hearing [Name]’s worried gasp. He’s her friend, why is he thinking and desiring of marriage, of all things? And since when has he started to fantasize about making [Name] his woman? Does a male friend think of his female friend the way he does these past few months of knowing her?

               “I’m sorry,” he tells her with a reassuring smile. The lie – he’s the only one who manages to deceive her, why? – comes out smoothly from his lips as he greedily drinks in her reciprocating smile, “I’m just tired from the long journey. I apologize for making you worry.”

               Red paints [Name]’s cheeks as she holds the tray close to her chest. Akaza likes to think that it is because she is affected by his smile, just as hers affects him in more ways than one.

               “O-Oh!” She blinks in surprise and ducks her head in embarrassment at his claim. “I’m sorry for dragging you off to chat as soon as you came, Akaza-san! Please stay here and let me tidy up your room!”

               She is up to her feet before he can stop her, and he tilts his head in curiosity when she rushes back to him with an excited smile on her pretty face.

               “Before I forget–! You should come to the forest with me, tomorrow, Akaza-san!” [Name] tells him, looking positively thrilled that it bleeds into Akaza’s chest. “I found something that I want to show only you!”

               Something that has excited her– something that she wants to show only to him?

               Akaza smiles softly at her retreating form, anticipation building in his entire being. He can’t wait for tomorrow to come.

--

               The trek to the forest has showered Akaza with opportunity to spend more time alone with [Name]. While her older brothers have been kind and open to him, they still exude that protective air around her whenever Akaza’s gaze stays at her longer than they’re comfortable with.

               Kiso Valley is beautiful during the summer season. He admires the way [Name]’s face lights up as she points at the flowers they pass by on the trail, explaining to Akaza that the area is where she mostly gets and cultivates the flowers she sells in her shop. He’s seen and heard her talk about her beloved shop and flowers for what seems to be a hundred times already but Akaza doesn’t tire about the topic – not one bit, not when [Name] glows with passion for the things she loves.

               The trail soon becomes steep, and Akaza is quick grab [Name] by the waist when she almost stumbles in the uneven ground. He can feel her softness through the fabric of her kimono, marvelling at how perfect she fits against his battle-hardened frame. They stare at each other in surprise, the close proximity between the two of them painting their faces a bright shade of red. Akaza reluctantly lets her go, immediately missing her soft and sweet frame against his, and he wonders if it has just been his imagination working in overdrive when he notices that [Name] sort of looks like she is feeling the same. He offers her his hand instead, and his heart leaps with joy when she shyly accepts his offer.

               [Name] looks around fifteen minutes later, seemingly checking for anyone in the trail with them.

               “Do you see anyone else here, Akaza-san?” she then asks him, her free hand clutching the sleeve of his dark blue gi like a child looking for an adult’s guidance. Akaza bites his lip to keep himself from smiling at the adorable sight, and focuses in their surroundings.

               Utilizing his heightened perceptions, Akaza shakes his head at [Name] when the only battle spirit he senses in the area is hers. “We’re the only ones here, [Name]-san,” he tells her, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

               [Name] smiles eagerly up at him and, to his surprise, leads him off the trail. They walk in silence deeper into the forest, to Akaza’s mounting confusion. [Name] seems to be growing more excited while they walk, and a gasp of delight slips past her lips when they reached a small clearing.

               “They’re here again!” she exclaims giddily and excitedly tugs Akaza along with her. Akaza looks around, unable to find the source of her excitement until his blues eyes shifts their focus on the small patch of flowers in the middle of the clearing.

               “Look, Akaza-san! Aren’t they pretty?”

               Heart beating wildly in his throat, Akaza gazes wide-eyed at the blue spider lilies before him. He cannot believe what he is seeing, cannot believe that the one thing his master has been looking for for centuries now lay in front of him.

               Akaza’s done it, he has succeeded more than the rest of his fellow Upper Moons! His long search for the mysterious blue spider lily has finally come to an end!

               [Name]’s delighted laughter reaches Akaza’s ears, snapping him out of his stupor. He watches as she plucks one of the blue spider lilies and shyly offers it to him.

               “I knew the sight of them would render you speechless,” she tells him softly, [colour] eyes glowing with pride and happiness, “just like they did to me when I first saw them two years ago.”

               Akaza lets [Name] guide him down until they are both seated on the grassy earth. He takes the proffered flower and studies it with open curiosity, prompting her to tell him what she knows of the strange flowers.

               “I found them by accident, you know,” [Name] says. “My first thought upon seeing them was how much money I could be earning should I sell them, but I realized that they’re better off staying here and flourishing by themselves. They’re strange, see, and I found out why the hard way. From what I’ve observed, they only bloom for three days every year! They only bloom during daylight and wilt when the sun sets. How very strange!”

               Ah. So that was why Lord Muzan’s search has been ruthless for the past centuries. The only thing he needs to fully unlock the immortality he so craves is perfectly guarded by the Sun he cannot conquer. And with such a short lifespan, it’s no wonder his fellow Upper Moons’ contacts cannot find even the shadow of the blue spider lilies.

               The success belongs to Akaza now, doesn’t it? He’s finally found the blue spider lilies. Plans to contact Lord Muzan and tell the latter of his find runs rampant in Upper Moon Three’s mind, but [Name]’s smiling face instantly derails his thought process.

               He knows Lord Muzan is a man who believed that his word is absolute. If Akaza tells him that he’s found the flowers through [Name], he is sure that the progenitor of demons would hold her accountable for his centuries’ worth of fruitless searching. Lord Muzan will accuse her of keeping the blue spider lilies’ existence and location a secret, thus endangering her and her brothers’ life should Akaza report his find.

               Akaza reminds himself that his loyalty is with Muzan alone. But what stands in his way of proving that loyalty comes in the form of the only friend he’s ever made his whole life – a friend whom he is quickly falling in love with. Would he be willing to trade the happiness [Name]’s presence offers him for the undying loyalty and servitude he’s first offered Muzan? Would he willingly go far as to endangering her life for the fulfillment of his mission?

               “I’ve been keeping their existence a secret from the townsfolk and the outsiders,” he hears [Name] speak to fill in the silence between them. Akaza looks at her, and he is reduced to admiring the way her cheeks flushed under his gaze, how her eyes brightened the longer she stares at him.

               Akaza’s heart is flooded with a surge of warmth and deep affection at the words she say next.

               “I want them to be just mine and Akaza-san’s secret, because… because Akaza-san is special to me!”

               The way [Name] speaks with such conviction has Akaza come to a decision himself.

               He would rather get himself into trouble for keeping his discovery a secret than to have the only light in his life be snuffed out because of him. He would lie to his fellow Demon Moons, would lie to Muzan himself, if it would keep [Name] safe. Akaza has never been this sure his entire life – in exchange for making him experience what it feels and means to be happy again, he would willingly die in his master’s hands in exchange of [Name]’s safety.

--

               At the end of the day and their trip to the forest, Akaza promises [Name] that the blue spider lilies’ existence will be their secret.

               The third Upper Moon – should he still call himself that? – gazes up at the moon through his room’s window. He can hear [Name] moving in her room next to his and soon enough, her soft footsteps approach. Akaza turns just in time to see her silhouette through the shoji door.

               “Akaza-san? I’m sorry for the intrusion, but are you still awake?”

               He gets up from his seat and moves to open the door. [Name] blushes under his gaze. She is carrying a tea set on a tray with her, and she seems to be fidgeting where she stands.

               “W-Would you like a cup of tea before you sleep?”

               She is acting like a caring wife, and Akaza is now convinced that he won’t trade her for anything in the world.

               He lifts a hand and softly pats her twice on the head, smiling affectionately at the meek smile she gives him.

               “Only if you join me,” he softly tells her. He quickly backpedals, however, when he realizes that he hasn’t been clear with his words when [Name] gapes up at him with wide eyes and a deep blush on her face. “W-With the tea– d-drinking t-tea, I mean! Please, h-have a cup of t-tea with me, b-b-before I sleep!”

               Face still flushed a lovely shade of red, [Name]’s tinkling laughter echoes in her humble home as she enters Akaza’s room.

.

.

.

.

[grimoire-of-geekery]

Embrace the Mythic: an Enchantment for 2021

“YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN’T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?” ― Death, from Terry Pratchett's “Hogfather” (image is the winterized Mildred Payne’s Masquerade spread I designed a couple years ago)

I was listening to a conversation between some witches a few days ago, wherein they were arguing about whether or not gods were real.  Their debate was getting very heated, so I had to ask them, “have any of you ever interacted with a deity?”

Two of the debaters said no, and then a third said “that’s not the point.”  I asked her what her idea of the point was, and she said “just because one has an experience doesn’t mean what one is experiencing is objectively real.”  She went on to talk to me about how they were debating the objective reality of gods, not the subjective reality, and... well, I suddenly remembered this scene from the Hogfather where the wizards were talking about belief and gods and other things, and that very discussion suddenly made little deities appear.

I felt like that was a silly fight for witches to have.  Are there benevolent forces which rule over creation?  Entities with intelligence and agenda who guide our fates and make the world what it is?

That’s not a question I think any of us can answer in a way that others can make use of.  I can tell people over and over, I’ve interacted with deities, I’ve talked to them and seen their handiwork in this world.  Until they experience that, it’s completely unhelpful for them to hear such from me.  Consider: if gods do exist, and this one guy gets to interact with them all the time, but this other guy has never heard nor seen nor felt any sign of gods, what makes the first guy so special, or the second guy so unworthy?

Plenty of fights have been born out of this particular question, and no small few wars.

I think this is why so much of the Craft is hidden behind the whole “To Be Silent” edict.  What I experience is valid, but it’s for me, not for anyone else.  My responsibility as I see it isn’t to tell people about it.  My responsibility, answerable to nothing less and nothing more than my self and my heart, is to become it.  I think that’s the role of the witch, to become the gateway through which dreams enter this world and become flesh.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who called themselves a witch who thought of it as just a name for a hobby or career, like “engineer” or “painter” or “cyclist.”  Most people I meet who call themselves by those labels tend to invest in them a lot too, I suppose.

My point is, taking up a label means making it a part of one’s identity, and I think everyone knows on some level that it’s a big step, an important one.

Calling oneself a witch is unique, but in nuance mostly.  An engineer is no less special than a chemist, a mapmaker, a singer, a chef.  In Abrahamic myth, that knowledge and skill was taught by angels to mankind.  In Ireland, most of the myths about gods and heroes define those figures through their skills and professions.

“Witch” is another profession, and I think it’s supposed to be a sacred one, a hallowed one.  I think all professions and skillsets should be venerated, no matter what they are.  It’s my feeling that the thing many of us search for our whole lives is how to embrace the sanctity of our own nature, and the path we’ve chosen.

Sanctity isn’t just about goodness, it’s about purity, commitment to one’s core nature and one’s virtue.  That’s a big thing in witchcraft- accessing and working with virtue.  In fact, I would say it’s central to our purpose.

The thing is, witches don’t always have gods or tutelary spirits.  “Yeah, secular witchcraft!” I hear people say.  

No, actually, after a long time thinking about it, I don’t think so.  It’s not that I think one needs to be religious to be a witch, and obey or follow or worship or even engage with gods (although frankly, that’s not my personal practice, and I dunno how some witches manage to avoid them).  Nor is it that I think secular witchcraft doesn’t work.  

It’s that so far as I can tell, the sacred and mythic center witches need to find, and honor, is ourselves and those like us.  In my experience, the Craft is about connection, intimacy, bringing forth that which lies across the barrier and communing with it.  By its nature, it’s about making significant the bonds between things, and interacting with them.

Regardless of how one views one’s witchcraft though, we wouldn’t fight so hard to defend our views if we didn’t consider them sacred, at least to us.  Maybe we consider our beliefs and our disbelief sacred, maybe we consider our ideas sacred, maybe we just consider the work sacred.  Whatever it is, we have a special place for it in our hearts, and I think that’s right and necessary.

This year, I am going to focus on embracing the mythic.  I’m going to focus on embodying the Mysteries I work with, embracing the very sacred and larger-than-life nature of what I am and call myself.  I’m going to take everything seriously, and elevate the joy of things without profaning them.  No mockery, no snark, no snideness.  I’m aiming for the mythic.  I’ll leave the puerile and the salty behind me, and just focus on the sacred and deep.

To all of you who wanted more from your holidays, your spiritual practice, your magic, your gods, yourself this year- I offer this.  If you promise me that you’ll look in a mirror and remind yourself daily to embrace the mythic and the sacred, I’ll work magic with you to bring goodness into your life, to banish the profane and bring about the sacred.  If you make yourself a door, I’ll send you gifts through it.  

Celebrate holidays, either traditional ones or ones you invent yourselves, but do it in earnest.  

Talk to your gods if you have them, yell at them even if necessary, but do so with the absolute certainty that you’re someone they have to answer.  

Cast your spells, and decide to proceed as if nothing profane or unaligned can affect or influence them.  

Sanctify your self-care with a dedication, and treat it as an unassailable spell of protection and healing which is all the more potent because you invented it.

Make stuff, and don’t be concerned with whether or not it’s “good enough.”  It’s good enough, because you made it, it’s basically a holy artifact!

2020 was an ordeal, a crucible, and we’ve survived.  That’s the stuff of legend, y’all.  Let’s all tell the myth of ourselves, and those who have departed, and those who still stand with us.  We’ve got this, all of us, and whatever happens from here on out, it’s part of the Myth of Us.

May we all have a happy New Year, and may the stories and legends around us begin to unfold in wonder and joy.  So Mote It Be.

[sureuncertainty]

6, 8, & 20 for the ask game? :^)

aw hell yeah thanks!

(this got super long so i’m going back and making it more ADHD accessible sorry y’all)

6. What character do you have the most fun writing? 

Hhhh this one is so hard because I love writing everyone??? So it’s close, and changes depending on the day and my mood, but I’m gonna go with Kat, I’ve been really enjoying writing her lately, and I’m SO excited to write her more in my sequel.

Also as of now, Nyx is the least fun lol, their chapters keep giving me aggravation since they just. don’t think/talk like me at all, and it’s really hard compared to Avery’s chapters which just flow so easily (and end up ten times too long whoops)

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read? 

Yeah pretty much although I haven’t found anything really much like The Silence Agenda, but I do like to read a lot of thrillers/mysteries and queer romance! I also read a lot of YA which makes sense since Sure Uncertainty is also a thing so overall yeah! I try to specifically seek out books that are similar to my writing so that I can be inspired! (and like. i write what I wanna read so)

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

OH MAN SO MUCH.

let’s see... I’m including Sure Uncertainty Easter eggs in this draft of Silence Agenda which is really fun, but they’re like. deep lore lol. like for example, Avery’s supervisor at the library they work at on campus is named Mrs. Durham, and Durham was one of Emma’s old surnames i tried out before settling on Alldridge. I changed it though so most people wouldn’t get it. but i lOVE the idea of finding subtle stuff like that to tie my stories together, even ones that take place in totally different universes. 

also like. idk i feel like themes of identity have been emerging a lot more in this draft of Silence Agenda, specifically with Nyx and figuring out who they are, how they feel like they’re barely a person bc they’ve spent so much of their life just trying to survive, and especially at the ending, they don’t know how to move on because they don’t even know like... what they like???

like there’s this scene where Avery asks them about their favorite music/books/movies and they just draw a total blank because they don’t know?? they’ve never even had the luxury to figure that stuff out, so they’re trying to figure out what kind of a person they are, and it’s cool bc i feel like I’VE been figuring them out alongside them. ngl they were a really simplistic character when I created them, and they’re STILL one of the hardest characters to write/flesh out because I’m still getting to know them, even now. which is weird since they’ve always been a protagonist but it’s true

also like. can we just talk for two seconds about the way that Nyx and Kat are two sides of the same coin and how that’s going to be explored in the sequel because oh my god i could write for hours about that and i’m so excited to look at it. they basically just both deal with the same trauma in very very different ways, and I’m so excited to explore that and how they clash but then ultimately help each other heal in the second book (and third) and figure out how to communicate with each other.

idk communication is also just such a theme. it’s ALSO really interesting how my own experiences have so clearly shaped this draft, specifically in relation to drafts before it. like. idk after i was in a really unhealthy abusive housemate situation with people who did NOT fucking know how to communicate like regular people, it became even more of a big thing for Nyx and Avery. Because before they can move into anywhere even close to being together (romantically or not, the story is about their emotional growth and closeness)  they have to figure out how to communicate with each other. and they have these barriers (a lot of them informed by their neurodivergencies since they’re both autistic and Avery has ADHD) to communication bc of competing access needs and stuff (i.e. Nyx needs their space to be clean or they can’t think well, and they get anxious and stressed, but Avery can’t always clean bc of their executive dysfunction and the other stress in THEIR life). and that’s all such a reflection with my own communication barriers to people in my life and yes, a reflection of my relationship with my amazing partner @drama-dick who i’ve been able to like. figure that out with.

there’s just something so intimate about someone taking intentional steps and work towards figuring out how to communicate with someone, and how to understand them and where they’re coming from. ESPECIALLY from two people who have spent a long time on their own, who have both felt abandoned and rejected and alone (also hi again projection), and have decided just not to trust other people or even TRY to invest in relationships. for Avery it’s because they’re afraid of getting hurt again and for Nyx it’s because they’re afraid of hurting someone again (even unintentionally) but for both of them it’s bc they see themselves as intrinsically unworthy of love and that’s something that even just them being in a relationship by the end of the book can’t be a magic fix to. which is why i’m SOOO excited to explore them being together in the second two books, and how they continue to help each other grow (and how other people in their lives help them as well!!!)

okay that got super long i am so sorry. tl;dr - communication as a theme with Nyx and Avery relevant to my own experiences is really fucking cool. also identity as a theme with Nyx specifically and how Nyx and Kat are two sides of the same coin. all cool stuff

[bohostrology]

The Houses of Astrology + Their Meanings

1st House: Defined by the Ascendant, the First House defines you. It covers the all “firsts”: first impressions, the self and appearance, leadership, new initiatives, fresh starts and beginnings. The sign on the cusp, or starting edge, of this house, is referred to as your rising sign or ascendant, as mentioned before. (Ruled by Aries)

2nd House: The second house covers all matters related to your immediate material and physical environment—taste, smells, sound, touch, sights. Natal planets in the Second House tend to seek security through their material world. Planets transiting the Second House reveal changes in resources or self-esteem. The second house also rules income, money, and self-esteem. (Ruled by Taurus)

3rd House: The third house rules all forms of communication—talking, thinking, gadgets and devices (cell phones, pagers, Instant Messenger, etc.). Natal planets in the Third House are motivated by expression and often build close relationships with their peers, including siblings, coworkers, and classmates. When planets transit the Third House, we often receive important information about our immediate network. The third house also covers siblings, neighbourhoods, local travel, libraries, schools, teachers and community affairs. (Ruled by Gemini)

4th House: The fourth house sits at the very bottom of the zodiac wheel, and thus, rules the “foundation” of all things. Natal planets in the Fourth House reveal an individual’s relationship with the maternal figure, as well as their unique outlook on domesticity. Planets moving across the Fourth House often encourage us to invest in our infrastructure by creating more private, nurturing spaces within. This includes your home, privacy, your basic security, your parents (particularly your mother), children, your own mothering abilities, nurturing, and TLC. (Ruled by Cancer)

5th House: The fifth house is ruled by Leo, and it governs self-expression, drama, creativity, colour, attention, romance, fun and play. Natal planets in the Fifth House are linked to your intrinsic artistic expression, while planets transiting the Fifth House often deliver eureka moments that boost our confidence. (Ruled by Leo)

6th House: The sixth house is the domain of health and service. Whereas the body you’re born with exists in the First House, the choices made over a lifetime create the body found in your Sixth House. It rules schedules, organisation, routines, fitness, diet and exercise, natural and healthy living, helpfulness and being of service to others. Those with natal planets in this zone are often fuelled by organisation and structure and tend to focus on time and calendar management. Planets transiting the Sixth House help us form habits and redefine our schedules. (Ruled by Virgo)

7th House: The seventh house is the sector of relationships and other people. It governs all partnerships, both business and personal, and relationship-associated matters, like contracts, marriage, and business deals. The Seventh House (the Descendent) sits directly across from the First House Ascendant. Up until now, all the Houses explore an individual's immediate world: Their money, home, and friends. In the Seventh House, however, the concept of perspective is introduced. Simply put, the Seventh House symbolises your “cosmic plus one.” Those with natal planets in the Seventh House tend to be very focused on relationships, gravitating towards partnership in all areas of life. Planets moving through the Seventh House help us close deals, securing our bonds by signing contracts and making things official. (Ruled by Libra)

8th House: The eighth house is a mysterious sector that rules birth, death, sex, transformation, mysteries, merged energies, and bonding at the deepest level. The eighth house also rules other people’s property and money (real estate, inheritances, investments, et. al. I often refer to the Eighth House as the “haunted house” of the birth chart. Those with natal planets in the Eighth House are often attracted to supernatural or occult topics, intense romances, and will likely regenerate often within their lifetime. Planets transiting this area help us understand the underbelly of any situation and serve as a reminder of life’s complexities. (Ruled by Scorpio)

9th House: The ninth house covers the higher mind, expansion, international and long-distance travel, foreign languages, inspiration, optimism, publishing, broadcasting, universities and higher education, luck, risk, adventure, gambling, religion, philosophy, morals and ethics. Those born with natal planets in the Ninth House are extremely curious and inquisitive, with deep-rooted wanderlust. When planets move across the Ninth House we often begin studying a new topic, move to a foreign location, or adopt a completely different perspective. (Ruled by Sagittarius)

10th House (midheaven): The tenth house is at the very top and most public part of the chart. The tenth house governs structures, corporations, tradition, public image, fame, honours, achievements, awards, boundaries, rules, discipline, authority, fathers and fatherhood. The cusp, or border, of the tenth house is also called the midheaven, and it clues astrologers into your career path. Natal planets in the Tenth House reveal an ambitious individual, and changes in the profession often occur when planets transit this zone. (Ruled by Capricorn)

11th House: The eleventh house rules teams, friendships, groups, society, technology, video and electronic media, networking, social justice, rebellion, and humanitarian causes. It also rules originality, eccentricity, sudden events, surprises, invention, astronomy, science fiction and all things futuristic. Those born with planets in the Eleventh House are often defined by their revolutionary ideas. Transiting planets through this domain help us broaden our reach as we define our role within society. (Ruled by Aquarius)

12th House: In the sky, the Twelfth House exists just beneath the horizon: It’s quite literally the darkness before dawn. Likewise, the Twelfth House is considered the “unseen realm,” and governs all things that exist without physical forms, like dreams, secrets, and emotions. This house covers the final stages of a project, tying up loose ends, completions, the afterlife, old age, and surrender. It’s also associated with separation from society, institutions, hospitals, jails, hidden agendas, and secret enemies. And it rules the imagination, creativity, arts, film, dance, poetry, journals, and the subconscious mind. We attract karmic people into our lives when planets transit the Twelfth House, but during this time, we must also remember that not all relationships are meant to last. (Ruled by Pisces)

[mehonaspace]

Conspiracy Theories, Uncertainty And The Chance To Get To Know Yourself

12/07/2021 - Sydney entered the third week of lockdown due to Covid.

There are all sorts of emotions and viewpoints associated with this pandemic that most of us have already read, heard about or experienced first-hand.

I see friends now turning to conspiracy theories - and, let me be clear: I don't know if some, all or none of such theories are true. All I can say is that I witness friends that usually were not prone to such beliefs suddenly try to get me on board for such ideas.

Photo by Tarik Haiga on Unsplash

But I had my fair time with conspiracy theories myself. I dug into that quite deeply for years, and I gladly pass this round. It's a rabbit hole with no end and leaves you feeling powerless, scared, hateful and suspicious towards the world.

I don't regret having opened up my mind to a different perspective of what could, would or even might be the "truth" behind the scenes.

But "truth" in human terms is very subjective, and in the end, none of us will ever decipher the complexity of what is going on, nor should we want to spend the time trying to figure it out. People can die a happy life without even once touching the subject of any conspiracy theory at all.

I concluded that it doesn't matter who controls - or is under the illusion of controlling the world if any such mindset even exists.

In my little daily reality, I realise that the control over my life lies primarily and vastly in my own - perspective. And I have a much better leverage point of influencing my reality from that empowered stance rather than from a dramatic angle that triggers all sorts of distorted emotional and cognitive reactions.

YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY. To deliberately do so, you have to be fully aware of yourself and not get lost in the drama. Protect your creative energy by being aware of what you are consuming, emotionally, mentally and physically. Be conscious about what you are reacting to.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

One must also discern that reaction doesn't equal creation.

To create is drawing power from within, your true self. Sourcing from a consciousness that isn't limited by human beliefs and definitions. It deals down to expressing your own unique energy into this physical world. You might be inspired and influenced by what's around you, but ultimately you follow your own preferences on how you want to experience your reality.

On the other hand, reaction contains very little creative energy as it is, for the most part, a triggered response to already existing conditions. If the influence of what's around you overshadows your own unique spirit, you end up creating a pattern that can easily lead to a perception of victimhood.

One can argue that if you create your own reality, mustn't reaction be part of creation? Indeed, in the true nature of things, this is correct. You exist, therefore you perceive. Perception is creation.

I just like to differentiate between actual creation, which originates from a soul-inspired passion for life, and reaction, a creation deriving from within the limits of human perception.

If true or not, conspiracy theories will keep you in a pattern of reaction and victimhood, muting the connection to your own spirit.

Interestingly, people who dig deep into conspiracy theories are actually looking for their own empowerment. Ironically, the deeper they dig, the further they get away from what they are looking for. Like the carrot hanging in front of the horse, the goal of freedom seems so close, if they just can resolve this next puzzle of hidden secrecy. However, behind one mystery is another one, and another one, and an entire web of complexity spans worldwide, which cannot be resolved.

You can try by spending a lifetime figuring out peoples motives. You can research political, business or other group agendas and how they relate to each other or impact the world. I certainly do believe that it is important to be aware of how things interact with each other. But you have to draw the line when what you believe to be the truth becomes a toxic influence that puts you in a defence mode. Otherwise, if you keep digging, you end up blocking your potentials and tools for creating a life that you actually want to live.

Keep in mind that nothing you will ever read or hear about conspiracy theories is the ultimate truth. You get bits and pieces of different people with different viewpoints and agendas. Some might be true; others might be made up. For most of us, it is not part of our destiny to unveil a hunger for power within the world, as this is already quite obvious.

Don't waste your energy on figuring out the distorted ways of people hunting an illusion of control.

Instead, household your energy wisely and contribute to true empowerment by expressing your own true self.

The "true self" is an awareness of senses that integrate human features but most importantly exists outside its limits of space, time and mind. It is unique, and it resides in an eternal state of freedom.

The shadows that many human experiences seem to cast on our soul are nothing but the veil we put over our intuition by looking outside ourselves for alignment.

The soul cannot be harmed, destroyed or held captive. Nobody can ever take away your soul, but you, as the human, can hide its power from yourself. You most likely don't do this intentionally, but as long as you look outside of yourself for answers about who you are, you play a game of seeking and hide, not realising that all you are looking for is inside.

I find this time we live in very interesting for this very fact.

The energies behind this current Covid-19 pandemic are broad and nuanced, but one is sticking out quite obviously: Uncertainty.

Something very familiar to me and probably most of those people devoting their life to discover themselves, going within and facing what's there. As I said before, you create your own reality - from within. Because of this, the energy dynamics outside of you will change once you shift your attention inside.

In the darkness of your inner universe, hidden behind various human agendas are aspects of fear, emptiness, pain and all sorts of unpleasant conditions. Being aware of those is a mature step in understanding who you are and why and how circumstances play out in your life.

Discovering what lies behind your perceived limits and weaknesses and exploring your potential means that you most often end up not following the usual roadmap of society's expectations.

Often, it feels like a pull from mass consciousness is trying to draw you back into its norms, standards, and limits. But the deeper you get in touch with yourself, the more intense the longing for free expression will get. Once you uncovered how your own feelings of powerlessness and lack of self-trust lead you to specific actions and dramas, you become very sensitive to other people's agendas as well.

The more you shift towards a more balanced life approach staying outside of drama and being in peace with your own energy, the less you will find yourself longing for interactions that introduce such imbalances into your life experience.

The process of getting there is what often creates circumstances and feelings of disconnection with the very world and people around you.

Suddenly you see the patterns and energies behind what is presented to you, and for the most part, you come to realise that our usual way of human life rather distracts us from where our true power lies. The constant need for approval highly increased through our utilisation of social media; the neverending fight between the contrasting poles of "good" and "bad", narrating the stories of victims and perpetrators - you simply don't feel the desire to be part of those games anymore. For the games are an illusion. You know that because you identified your own games. You know yourself; therefore, you understand the reality that is presented to you - because your reality is you.

A more balanced approach to life follows the discovery of your own power. Householding your own energy becomes an essential tool in staying in your own power while navigating throughout human realms.

To give the topic of current uncertainty a bit more playtime here, let's dive into it a little more as it is more present than ever.

Once Covid-19 started, we witnessed for the first time in this century that people - officials, government bodies, health authorities literally didn't know what to do. Nobody knew where it came from, nobody knew what to do, how to react. In the meantime, people died - a lot of people - and that increased panic even more.

It seemed each government applied their own approach to fighting the virus. Some gave it a strict lockdown response, while others tried to keep the economy going and rely on people's own decisions to "do the right thing". However, "doing the right thing" is defined differently by all of us. We might keep our distance from strangers, but the decision line is quite blurred when it comes to family and friends. When those close people fall sick, it's even harder to say what is right and what isn't. Depending on religious beliefs, scientific or emotional interpretation, there are just too many different opinions.

One year into the pandemic, we still don't really know how to react. Once we started thinking it's over, a new variant emerges and shakes up the entire planet. Times are uncertain, which leaves way for vulnerability, suspicion, blaming and speculations - basically the raw material for any good conspiracy theory.

Uncertainty is a gift and a curse depending on exactly how far you are on your way to taking responsibility for your own life.

Uncertainty asks you to shift towards your own creative power. It requires you to be grounded amidst chaos so that you can anchor yourself into your preferred reality. It literally paves the way for you to create your own reality by challenging you to go beyond your fears, beliefs and perceived limits.

If you choose so, uncertainty will lead you to trust in yourself, while outside of you, the wind of change is blowing your old reality apart. Making way for another aspect of you that then interacts with life on an entirely different level.

Sometimes those changes are so subtle you might not even recognise them. But, while you were taking the time to figure out what to do, what you actually want from life and how you will achieve it, something deep inside you gets triggered. The very soul of you likes when you ask those questions because many of us deny and suppress the fact that most time, what we do is not in alignment with what we actually want for ourselves.

Once you had a few breakdowns, you come to see the irony that we humans often and only then come in touch with our divine creative nature when we face significant trauma.

Uncertainty is probably the most human inconvenience we try to avoid. We are still very mind-focused beings rather than conscious entities. "Conscious", meaning, living soul awareness that integrates aspects of the human mind, heart and spirit - but - most importantly -, all senses that go beyond that.

For now, the mind still enthrones human life, and the condition of uncertainty feels like the toxic venom of a snake. And isn't that what really was introduced with Covid-19? Besides the physical illness, uncertainty was the virus that spread worldwide and shook up our systems to their very core. Economics crumbled, health crumbled, politicians crumbled, families crumbled, personalities crumbled and laid bare a new playground.

Photo by Katie Moum on Unsplash

Welcome to the new world!

In new age circles, it is common knowledge that we live in extraordinary times.

We were introduced to the concept of "The New Human" most dominantly in the early 60s, and it became a consistent notion from various channelers around the globe since then.

Going back to the term of the "Harmonic Convergence" in 1987, to the official announcement of the new age in 2012, we finally came to the point where we clearly see that change happens on every corner of this planet. Rapid change.

Demonstrations about and against common beliefs of any kind, be it sex, religion or race, global warming, misuse of power, and now the impact of the current pandemic.

We are all required to rethink our attitude and approach to life. We are all invited to challenge the way we lived and to step up our game.

There is no question that things can seem quite negative and sad if you look at the rate of death that happened through Covid-19. Or if we look at the number of dramatic videos emerging, making us witness acts of ill will, seeing people in power abusing the very same. The drama that comes with riots, protests, violence and proof of emotional immaturity could easily overshadow the subtle but persistent impact of powerful intentions for the greater good that also arise.

We are indeed shifting in a better direction. Those dramatic events happen because of the very shift in consciousness that continues to occur around the planet. People say "No!" to the old ways of living. Naturally, there will be those that cling to power and put up a fight when confronted by the idea of losing it.

There will be waves of adjustments, and given the variety of expression and viewpoints on this planet, we might never come to a point of oneness. Still, we start leaning in the direction of a joined agreement about sharing core values throughout society. Those new fundamental concepts will be implemented by industries such as business, politics, teaching, entertainment, and the vast majority of life on this planet.

Humanity is in labor, ready to birth a new system. Which system it will be, is up to - your perspective. You can use your creative energy to focus on others that tell you that we are all controlled and soon will be enslaved by 5G, Covid vaccines and microchips, or you use this time of uncertainty to take a step back. Step back and go inside, take a time-out and reflect and reshape your values and output.

This is indeed a time of many changes and uncertainty, but it can also be an opportunity to surf this new wave, transform and thrive. Things may never be "normal" again, but the old "normal" was never really something to settle for if we are honest. There is more opportunity for fairness, for emotional awareness and emotional maturity, there is more opportunity for inclusiveness and compassion in human interaction. Those are the things that happen as well, don't let the focal point of drama-based reactions and the contagious anxiety because of the unavoidable change be the compass for your own reality. Instead, take the opportunity and get to know yourself and sense who you are beyond the expectations, fears and limits of your human mind.

Be guided from within and then define what life means to you, and be assured that once you are in sink with your own truth, you will naturally create all things you need for your human reality.