#the grief!!! the fear!!! the death!!!!!

[natandacat]

reading old stories and its just. may you live. may you live. may you live

[asthedeathoflight]

I think an underrated angle on 2x05 is something that either Jacob or Assad said in some interview somewhere, which is that in that episode Louis is addicted to heroin. Thats why he has that whole stash of drugs that he gives to Daniel, that's why he gives Daniel the drugs even though he's already got him alone. He didn't just use those 128 boys for sex he was using them to get high. Bring them home, get them to shoot up, and then drain them to get that secondhand high.

It clarifies something that's always confused me about that scene, which is why Armand saves Daniel the first time. He wouldn't save Daniel as a person, he clearly knows Daniel needs to die, but he's not seeing Daniel as a person there. Daniel is just a substance. He rips him away from Louis to stop him from using.

And i think that adds a whole other layer to the fight he and Armand have to think that this is Louis on a bender, with Armand cleaning up after him because he's not stable enough to. Louis in the bed for a week isn't just healing from the burns, he's going through withdrawal. Him at the table with Daniel giving him the "bright young reporter" speech is probably the first time he's been sober in months.

It adds another layer to Armand's desperation, that Louis has been running from both Armand and himself in this way, and of course Armand wants to erase that memory. Of course he wants to pretend that that fight never happened. Not just to protect himself but in a way to protect Louis from having said those things. When he describes the fight to Louis afterwards, he says "you said the worst things you've ever said to me." And he doesn't really know how to forgive Louis for that so he just wants to bury this rock-bottom moment and move on like it never happened. After all, Louis was high, he didn't really mean it, but if he remembers then maybe he might think that he had a point. Better to wipe the whole experience away.

[canisalbus]

forgive me if this has been answered previously, but what were the circumstances around vasco finding out about machete's death? i'm heartbroken but fascinated to think about what his immediate reaction could have been

They don't live together, Vasco was at home in Florence at the time. Either someone who knew of their relationship managed to alert him of the murder, or he showed up in Rome to visit him just like countless of times before, and one time he was just gone. He would've missed the funeral for sure, and since Machete doesn't have family, his belongings would most likely end up escheated and subsequently liguidated by the church. He certainly wasn't remembed fondly, for the most part it was like he had never been there in the first place.

I don't want to get into the details but of course he was devastated. The threat of death was a constant presence in Machete's later years, he survived at least a couple of assassination attempts and his health kept getting worse. I think he tried to keep Vasco in the dark about how bad things were exactly, but Vasco didn't miss how his fear of death ramped up in intensity towards the end. So it wasn't a complete surprise when he found out they had finally gotten him. For a long time he had hard time not blaming himself for it, thinking whether he could've done something to prevent the outcome, whether his presence would've changed how things played out. Over the years he learned to live with the sudden and violent end of their relationship, but the first few years were extremely rough, the whole ordeal broke him in unprecedented ways and he never fully recovered to his previous state.

[whump-galaxy]

“Do you want me to bring you anything? I can get your favorite snacks. Are they still the same as before?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I haven’t seen you eat in days… I’m just getting worried.”

“I’m fine, I promise.”

[thymejot]

Rio has twice now said 'te veo' as she walks away from Agatha.

I see you

See you

I hope no matter how bad things get in the end, when they are broken and bloody, standing across the battlefield from one another.

When they finally lance all that has been festering between them.

Faced all the heartache, the regrets, the laments, the sour ugliness of their grief, the deep and abiding love.

When they have a had a good cathartic fight to the end of all things.

Rios last words will be 'te veo'

With the explicit understanding that they will meet again. That this is never truly over. That I see all of you, all the parts you hide away. I still see you. Because it is not one way.

Agatha has always seen all of Rio as well.

They love each other because of who they are, not in spite of it.

A relationship like theirs is never truly over. They may not be lovers for now, may be opposing forces. But they will always be a part of each other.

They will always see each other as the truest of equals.

They may not have a happy ending, but then they will never truly end. So that is okay as well.

Agatha will never truly die

[skunkes]

my dad when im explaining the general plot of dungeon meshi to him with focus on thistle and falin bc thats what me and my friend cosplayed as and he wanted to know what the whole deal was and i get to the part where I have to explain what ultimately happens to thistle and get incredibly choked up about it

[nyaaamato]

bad omens

[sakuraspoke]

hi, friends. checking in. personal post.

full transparency, i haven't been doing great. my beloved dog was put to sleep after a short, sudden illness and i haven't been coping well. he had been my best friend and sidekick for almost half my life. (i still remember the day i came home to meet him when i was 16. i'd been to a gig the night before, and my best friend and i rushed back the next morning to see him. he was so tiny and so fluffy and kept biting the velcro on my friend's shoes.) he turned 15 last month. i feel so lucky i got to spend all of those years with him.

for the last 4 years particularly he has quite literally been by my side almost all of the time, and i'm struggling to come to terms with losing him. i was already having a hard time in the weeks beforehand, and losing him has left me completely heartbroken to the point that it's made me physically sick. i had been staying with my grandma since it happened so i didn't have to be in my house on my own, but now i'm back home and trying to settle in to being without him, and it fucking sucks. i'm taking care of myself, and i am ultimately ok, but long story short, my dog died and i'm miserable.

navigating that, on top of other Stuff happening irl that has been taking up most of my time and energy, means tumblr has fallen by the wayside a bit. i've dropped in a couple of times but haven't stayed for long because i just don't have much enthusiasm for anything rn. i promise i haven't forgotten everyone and i'm sorry to those i haven't got back to. it's not you, it's me, etc.

i'll be back, i'm sure. the external chaos at least should settle a bit soon and i'll have some more time for myself again. i miss everyone. i miss regular ghost shenanigans. i just need a minute.

i hope you're all okay and i'm sending all of you so much love. please give your pets, whatever sweet creature they may be, an extra cuddle for me <3

(truly the sleepiest boy in the world. 90% of my photos are him snoozing. in his various collars. my boy. ralf forever 💕)

[trans-xianxian]

the thing about madam yu is that she's an awful mother who undoubtedly permanently traumatized wei wuxian and her children and created such a terrible pressure cooker environment that it damaged everyone involved but she Did love jiang cheng and jiang yanli. and because of that it is impossible that every moment was bad. we see in show the brief instances of tenderness. and I think that that's almost the worst part. if she was unequivocally evil their whole lives in some ways it would have been easier

[uncanny-tranny]

The biggest saving grace I feel I've done is to get into death positivity, to learn to appreciate death. It's definitely not going to help for many, but I have found that not stigmatizing my own interest and desire for death has greatly helped. Being able to interact with death not as a punishment, but as a way to express humanity has been truly what has made me feel more human. I no longer want to feel ashamed of this aspect of myself, and it's made me want to live. Death has done unto me life.

[whumpypepsigal]

michael scott screaming no-no-god-please-no.gif

[reanimatedgh0ul]

[feral-ballad]

Mosab Abu Toha, from Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear: Poems from Gaza; “Interview with the Author”

[Text ID: “We didn’t know whether we should just keep quiet: What if they hear us? When you are in danger, you imagine yourself to be the only target on planet Earth. This is a very strange feeling and not all people can understand it because, you know, not everyone has lived through an armed struggle. Even during this latest attack, wherever you are during the violence, you think the Israelis are watching only you. If you’re in the street, even in your home, you think they are watching you in particular. This is the fear, the threat of knowing you can be bombed at any time.”]

[moths-in-hats]

teen wolf x marvel: lydia martin as the hulk

For Lydia Week 2023: Day 3 - What-If Wednesday

[dirtytransmasc]

thinking about how Spider was neteyam's big brother. losing my mind. ripping out my hair.

was 'teyam scared of storms or the dark? did he confide these "childish" fears to his big brother? did he get shy with all the attention he got in the village? did he hold Spi's hand when he got nervous?

did Spi have habits with 'teyam like 'teyam had with lo'ak? did Spi mess with his hair or reach for his shoulder or cuff his neck?

did Spi ever worry for 'teyam after he "stepped up" and became the Big Brother when the humans returned? did he worry something would happen to him? did he want to protect him despite being a human? was he proud? did his pride outweigh his fear?

did he think about 'teyam after he was taken? did he wonder where he was and if he was safe?

what was Spi thinking when he saw the bullet hole in his baby brother's back? did he freeze when he saw the blood, when he realized he failed to protect him?

what was 'teyam thinking? when he looked to Spi, did he want him to be the big brother again, did he want to stop being brave and let Spi do it? did he want to say something?

I have so many questions. I don't think my heart could take the answers.

[skunkes]

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