#the good place 3x13

[j2spntranscripts]

☆ 2008 LAcon J2

Official name: Creation Entertainment's SALUTE TO SUPERNATURAL (Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki on stage) Location: Marriott Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles, Cal Time: Sunday March 30, 2008, 12:20 PM-1:00 PM (GMT-7) Panelists: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki Last episode: 3x12 "Jus in Bello"- 2/21/2008 Next episode: 3x13 "Ghostfacers"- 4/24/2008

Question Index: FR1- Panel Transition 1a- Late Happy Birthday (Jensen) 1b- 2x21 vs 3x11; Best Death 1c- Thoughts on Thirty (Jensen) 2a- 3x01; Seventh Demon’s outcome 2b- 3x01; Dean vs Lust (Jensen) 2c- 3x01; Seventh Demon’s outcome; cont. 3a- Stunts; Fight Scenes; Participation and Preparation 3b- Fav Demon killing weapon 4a- Fav word (Jensen) 4b- Least Fav word (Jensen) 4c- Fav curse word (Jensen) 5a- fav scene; 2x14; ACT FOUR, EXT. HOUSE – LATER (Jared) 5b- fav scene; 2x20; ACT ONE, EXT. WINCHESTER HOUSE- CONTINUOUS; ACT TWO, INT. WINCHESTER HOUSE- DINING ROOM – NIGHT (Jensen) +1- Continent vs Country bit 6a- Fan Request; Body Swap portrayal (Jensen) 6b- Future Projects; plays (Jared) +2- Stolen Question 7- Fashion; plans on kilts; (Jensen) 8a- fav acting medium; Mr. Rhodes (Jensen) 8b- Acting Challenges; Special Effects; 2x01 FR2- Acting Challenges; Special Effects; 2x01 FR3- 3x08; Product Placement; Creative Control 9a- 3x08; Product Placement; Creative Control 9b- fav snack/junk food 10a- Acting Challenges; Facets of Dean; fav of Dean (Jensen) 10b- fav part of Dean (Jensen) 10c- Future Projects; Directing 🔮 11a- 2x15; thoughts on playing extreme caricatures 11b- 3x10; ACT FOUR, INT. MOTEL ROOM; DREAM; thoughts on yelling at your double; Acting Challenges (Jensen) +3- stolen question part 2 12a- 3x10; ACT FOUR, LATER- EXT. IMPALA; thoughts on Dean’s domestic dream (Jensen)🔮 12ba- 3x11; ACT FOUR; Thoughts on Sam living without Dean (Jared) FR4- 3x11; ACT FOUR; Thoughts on Sam living without Dean (Jared) 12bb- 3x11; ACT FOUR; Thoughts on Sam living without Dean cont. (Jared)

(video playlist/links and transcript below the cut)

(*if you notice any mistakes in the video transcripts or found more video or audio coverage of the con please point them out, thank you*👍)

Fan reports: [insomnia_geek] • [bardicvoice] • [sarah_p] (*warning: Fan reports as a source can't be fully verified unless video or audio of the con can confirm it. Be mindful not to take Fan Reports as the unquestionable and unbiased truth.*)

(missing coverage *fan reports could be incomplete and/or erroneous)

•(insomnia_geek para. 2, bardicvoice para. 42, sarah_p para. 30-31)- LA08J2;FR1- Panel Transition

“That’s when Jared came back onstage. Apparently he’d been mainlining Skittles backstage, didn’t bring any out for Jensen. They talked quietly to each other for a moment out of mike pickup and joked a bit. Jensen said that they speak in code.” – IG

“Jared reappeared in that moment, bragging “But not as good as Jared plays Sam!”” – B

“Somewhere around this, Jared came back out, and he was EATING SKITTLES (which totally made me think of him offering to buy Papa Ackles Skittles at the AFGM intermission ;)), and didn’t bring any for Jensen. I was ALREADY IN LOVE WITH THEM. AGAIN. He and Jensen were talking really quietly to each other for a minute (Basketball scores, maybe? Can someone who was sitting closer confirm this?), and then they finished, and Jensen laughed and told us that they speak in code. Which, really, I would NOT doubt–they are just SO attuned to each other, it’s fantastic.” – S

J2’s Panel starts.

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: Best death scene- Dean or Sam? by BabyBlueSteel◘

(0:00 BBS) -introduction

Jensen: Skittles, that’s what you got?

Jared: (placing his hair on stage) Yes, sir.

Jensen: Yeah? Bring me anything?

Jared: Nope. (?All me?). (sits down)

Jensen: Of course not. Jerk. (audience laughs)

Jared: I did see (?Tigers win the first?) (Jensen: What?) from Texas (?to Utah?).

Jensen: No.

Jared: (?) half-quarter (?)

Jensen: You kidding?

Jared: Yeah, (?borrow talked into it?) (flips hair) and I wanted to whoever said- Yep.

Jensen: (to audience) Sorry, we’re speaking in code. Supernatural code.

Jared: (?Purple Michael?) dishwasher.

Jensen: (to Jared) You’re kidding? (Jared: [nods smirking] mhmm.) (dramatically to audience) It’s unbelievable. (Jared laughs. Audience giggles) Um..

◘Jensen LA SPN convention-21 J2 Panel 01-07 by DW&DW◘

Jared: [off mic] (?Where were you?)

Jensen: (to Jared) Where was I? (Jared nods) I was right in the middle of- of (gestures to audience) having everybody tell me how great I was. (audience screams, cheers, and claps)

Jared: [off mic] (?Yeah, bullshit.?) (to audience) Well done, guys. Thanks. I know you didn’t want to, but when I asked you earlier, (audience chuckles) I- I knew you would do it for me. And-

Jensen: But now they’re gonna have to go back to putting on their fake faces for you. (audience laughs)

Jared: I heard personally- (laughs)

(turns to fan on the his right) Hello.

•(0:48 BBS, 0:28 DW)- LA08J2;Q1a- Late Happy Birthday (Jensen)

Jensen: Hi.

Fan: Hi. (?)

Jensen: Now you got both of us.

Fan: Hi. (?I’m a girl?). Hi.

Jared: [nods] that’s right.

Jensen: So, watch what you say, because we might go off.

Jared: (laughs) Nothing good about Jensen please. (audience laughs)

Fan: Hi, Jensen. Happy late birthday.

Jensen: (nod) Hey, hey, yeah-hah!

Jared: (rolls his eyes and mouths while flinging his hand up) Oh my god. (Waves at fan) Hi, I’m here by the way. (audience laughs) (waves his hands sarcastically) Jensen’s here. (dramatically flings his coat closed)

Fan: (to Jared) I said hi to you earlier. (?So, don’t start?) now.

Jared hides his face in his coat. The audience laughs and then aw’s.

Jared: (to audience aws, nods) Okay. Y’all make me feel better (?at the end?). (smiles)

Jensen pumps his eyebrows and then gives the audience a thumbs up.

Fan: Anyway.

The audience laughs. But Jared, open mouth shocked, throws a hand up.

Jensen: Anyway, moving on.

Jared: (gestures to fan) There she goes again. (audience laughs)

•(1:17 BBS, 0:57 DW)- LA08J2;Q1b- 2x21 vs 3x11; Best Death

Fan: (laughs) I have a question. (Jensen: Yes.) Okay. After watching “All Hell Breaks Loose” and “Mystery Spot” you’ve both, you know, died so wonderfully. (audience laughs) Um, so I was wondering, who do think did the best death scene? Who died best? (audience oo’s)

Jared: (turns to Jensen) (?Who would be-?)

Jensen: (to fan) (makes a face) Me. (flips up hand) (audience and Jared laugh)

Fan: You had more practice- (Jared: He had more chances.) He did. Yours was a little more (?).

Jensen: I do love- I do love “Mystery Spot,” because it was such a fun episode for me. Because I just didn’t care. (audience chuckles) ‘Cause I was just dying all the time. (thumbs to Jared) Poor Jared, like, is freaking out the whole episode. (Jared laughs) He’s like, you know, getting emotional and I’m like, “Hey, buddy! Wake up! Let’s go!” (audience laughs)

Love those episodes.

Jared: (off mic) Yeah, that’s right.

•(1:57 BBS, 1:37 DW)- LA08J2;Q1c- Thoughts on Thirty (Jensen)

Fan: How does it feel to be thirty now?

Jensen: Fantastic. (Fan: Good.) (audience cheers and claps) (nods) It’s amazing.. it’s so much better in your thirties.

Some of the audience yeah’s. Jensen then pats Jared’s knee. Jared and the audience laugh. Then Jared makes a pouting face at Jensen.

Jared: My-

Jensen: (to Jared) You’ll get there one day. (Jared laughs)

Jared: I hope so.

Fan: Thank you for coming, guys.

Jensen: Thank you. (turns to his left)

Jared: Thank you. Hi.

•(1:57 DW)- LA08J2;Q2a- 3x01; Seventh Demon’s outcome

Fan: Hi. I’m Chris. (Jensen: Hey, Chris.) Uh, this question is for.. Jensen, (Jared throw his hands up) but it could be for both.

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: questions about Magnificent Seven by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jared: (gestures to his right off stage) Should I just go elsewhere? (audience no’s) (smiles)

Fan: No, actually-

Jensen: (thumbs off stage) Go eat some more skittles, pal. (audience laughs)

Jared: (makes a face) I might.

Fan: There’s two parts. In.. “Magnificent Seven” I only seemed to count six demons that you killed. (Jensen thumbs to Jared) Where’s the seventh one? (audience and Jared laugh)

•(2:19 DW, 0:22 BBS)- LA08J2;Q2b- 3x01; Dean vs Lust (Jensen)

Fan: And the second part before you get into that other one is- The second one is, you got attacked by Lust and we’re wondering how did you.. manage to overcome when you’re- you were in the water? When everybody else actually died (?in the waters?).

Jensen: Uumm… Well, if you recall just before I dunked her in the water, I had a very lustful kiss. (audience laughs)

Fan: Right. Yes.

Jensen: Um, so, I-I- I curved that appetite very quickly with that kiss and then (mimics forcefully dunking) I dunked her into the water. (Jared and the audience laughs)

•(2:47 DW, 0:51 BBS)- LA08J2;Q2c- 3x01; Seventh Demon’s outcome; cont.

Fan: So, where were the seventh demon die then? (?y’know?)

Jensen: Um, you know, (looks at Jared) I- that’s a good question. I thought there were seven.

Jared: I thought there were seven.

Jensen: (looks to the audience) Can anybody else, uhh.. No? (nods) Good. (makes a face) Thanks for coming. (audience laughs)

Jared: Lust- Lust in the bathroom. There’s- there’s, um- um…

Jensen: That’s the only one I remember too. (audience laughs)

Jared: Well, there was Sloth, re- uh..

Audience member: Wrath!

Jared: Pride.

Audience member: Envy!

Audience member: Anger!

Jensen: Wrath. Pride.

Audience member: Gluttony!

Audience member: Gluttony!

Audience member: Gluttony!

Jensen: Gluttony.

Jared: Yeah, Gluttony was there.

Jensen: Sloth.

Audience member: Anger!

Audience member: Envy!

Audience member: Jealously!

Jared: Envy was the main guy. Envy was the guy we exorcised (Jensen: Yeah!) and she killed.

Jensen: (to fan) There should have been seven.

Fan: Well, there was only six bodies from what I-

Jensen: There was only six bodies?

Fan: Yeah.

Jared: Oh, okay. Good. (points to fan) Because of the end scene Bobby says, I think- I think the w- “I think the girl will make it,” (nods) or something like that.

Jensen: Oh, that’s right, one of- one of the- (Jared: One of them wasn’t.. killed.) the bodies didn’t die.

Audience member: (?Two right?)

Jared: (looks at the audience)Two of ‘em.

Audience member: Two survive.

Audience member: The big guy and the (?) survive.

Jensen: (holds up two fingers)Two of the bodies didn’t die. (audience laughs)

Jared: (points to audience member) Yeah, you’re right. (laughs then taps Jensen’s arm) Let’s hand our mics away because I think they don’t want our- (Jensen chuckles, shaking his head)

(nods to the audience) Y’all guys. Yeah.

Jensen: (turns to his right) Hi.

•(3:40 DW, 1:44 BBS)- LA08J2;Q3a- Stunts; Fight Scenes; Participation and Preparation

Fan: Hi, guys. (Jensen: Hi.) (?It’s been real?). How’re you doing? (Jared: Hi.) Um, question for both of you guys. Um, do you ever do your own fight scenes? And, if so what kind of preparation.. or training.. do you have?

Jensen: Yes and none. (audience laughs and oo’s. Jared laughs.)

Jared: I think (looks at Jensen) we do all of our own fight scenes but they’re also (looks at fan) by.. stunt.. uh, actors who.. do the more intense.. part of the fight scene.

Jensen: You know, like- like, when you see one of us, you know, flying into a bookshelf, or, (Jared: [nods] Yep.) you know, crash into a table (?or something?) (Jared: [nods and points to himself] (?that’s me?).), (nods and points to himself) that’s me. (audience yeah’s and laughs. Jared laugh) Umm.

No. They- they don’t- they don’t nes- they don’t even allow us to do it, just for insurance purposes. So, that’s when the stunt guys come on. And that’s why I say, you know, (looks at Jared and gestures to them both) we basically run, jump, and fall down. And those guys do the actual stunts.

Uhh, a lot of the hand to hand- hand to hand combat stuff is- is.. that’s us. And, you know, we’ll go over it that morning or the day before.. (Jared: Right.) and just kind of get a feel for it. And, you know.. we do that pretty quick.

Jared: (to fan) In some of the fight scenes we have some preparation. The first one that was he against I in “Skin” (Jensen: I loathed.) in season seven- (looks briefly at Jensen) Yeah, we had to- We came out on the weekends and we trained with this, uhm.. (looks at Jensen) uh…

Jensen: Well, no. The first one (points to Jared) would’ve been the “Pilot” when we first (gestures) see each other.

◘LA Supernatural Con: J&J's favorite weapons and more! by wfsarah◘

Jared: (nods) The first one was the “Pilot” and- (nods) Yeah, that’s right. The “Pilot” one we had loads of fight training. (Jensen: Tons.) (counts on his fingers) And then, the one we fought each other again, we also had loads of fight training.

But, since then it’s more- Since we have the basics, you sort of block it out (Jensen nods) and then you kind of rough it in. And you do it kind of half speed. And then the stunt guys get in and (swipes hand) tear the place up.

Jensen: You know, the more you do- uh, and, we’ve done it a lot. So, the- the more you do it kind of the easier it becomes every time there is a fight scene. So, it’s like.. preparation becomes less and less and less. (shrugs) But you can still get the performance out of it.

◘Jensen LA SPN convention-22 J2 Panel 02-07 (Weapon Fave word by DW&DW◘

•(5:15 DW, 0:29 W, 0:03 DW)- LA08J2;Q3b- Fav Demon killing weapon

Fan: Great. (Jensen: Sure.) And just one more thing. What’s your favorite demon killing weapon?

Jensen: (shrugs) I gotta say Ruby’s knife. (audience cheers and claps) That things awesome. (Jared: That is cool.) I just need one. (audience laughs) Other than that, you know, my trusty shotty.

Jared: I gotta- I- I gotta go.. old-old school with some of the demon things. The whole eyes, like, (?I peer?) my white eyes and you explode? That’s a- that’s kind of a demon killing. Though it doesn’t kill demons, but it’s a demon’s killing. (audience laughs. Jensen mouths what to the audience.) Thank you. (Fan: (?It’s almost?)-) I like that. I like that.

Fan: Okay.

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: Jensen's fav, least fav, & curse by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jared: (points then gets up and leaves to the right of the stage) I’ll be- I’ll be over back there. I’ll… (Audience laughs. Jensen shakes his head and then smiles at Jared.)

Fan: Thanks.

Jared: (sits back down and shrugs) (off mic) I like that.

Jensen: (shrugs, laughs, and shakes his head) I have no idea what you’re talking about, man. (audience laughs)

Jared: Lilith, in “Jus in Bello.”

Jensen: (nods) Oh, right, right, right. Okay, yeah.

Jared: I’m just saying, I don’t know. It could (flings hand up) probably kill demons. Or unalive demons. (Jensen: prob- probably.) I think that’s a (flings hand up) cooler weapon than a knife. (Jensen: Yeah.) The eyes (shrugs and stares out) and then dead.

Jensen: (turns quickly to his left) Next question. (Jared and audience laugh)

•(1:29 W, 1:03 DW, 0:24 BBS)- LA08J2;Q4a- Fav word (Jensen)

Fan: Hi, Jensen. (Jensen: Hi.) Hi, Jared, again. (Jared: Hi.) This is for Jensen, (Jared turns away and nods) because I already asked, Jared. (audience aw’s)

Well, I already asked him, so.

Jensen: (to Jared) Quit hogging all the questions. (audience laughs. Jared smiles)

Fan: Big fan of the.. “Inside the Actor’s Studio” so that’s couple of.. James.. Lipton questions for yah. Um-

Jensen: Oh, great.

Fan: What’s your favorite word?

Jensen: (to Jared) I thought she would say what’s your favorite curse word? (audience laughs)

Fan: Oh, that’s coming up.

Jensen: Oh really?

Fan: Yeah. (?Going there?).

Jensen: (laughs) This, hah, well. (looks at Jared)

Jared: (shrugs and flings hand up) I did it.

Jensen: (laughs and inhales) Uhhhhh… (audience laughs) (to fan) Just favorite word?

Fan: Yeah.

Jensen: (smacks lips) Um.. I don’t know. I’m probably changing my mind in five minutes, but right now..

Audience member: Jared! (audience laughs)

Audience member: Jared!

Audience member: Say Jared!

Jared: Augh (audience laughs) (Jensen: [shakes head to audience] No.) That’s his favorite curse word. (audience laughs)

Jensen: (to fan) Ummm, insatiable. (audience oo’s and cheers)

•(2:23 W, 1:58 DW, 1:19 BBS)- LA08J2;Q4b- Least Fav word (Jensen)

Fan: Your least favorite? (Jensen: What?) Your least favorite word?

Jensen: My least favorite? (smacks lips) Um-

Jared fakes snores and mimics slowly falling off his chair. The audience laughs. Jensen chuckles.

Jensen: Milk. (audience laughs)

•(2:26 W, 2:09 DW, 1:33 BBS)- LA08J2;Q4c- Fav curse word (Jensen)

Fan: And your least favorite question, curse word.

Jensen: Favorite curse word? Umm.. (audience giggles. Jared laughs.) (laughs to himself) mh, (flips hand) It’s probably just shit. (Jared nods. Audience laughs, oo’s, and claps)

Fan: Thank you.

Jared: (off mic) (?That’s what I said?)

Jensen: (to Jared) Is it?

Jared: (nods) (off mic) Yeah.

Jensen: Really?

Jared: (nods) (off mic) Yes. (?It’s a good one?).

Jensen: (to audience) It’s not too harsh, (Jared: [off mic] Yeah.) but you get your point across. (Jared: [off mic] Yes.) (audience laughs)

Jared: (turns to his right) (off mic) Oh, (?so we go here?).

Jensen: And now my mother’s gonna call me. (audience laughs)

Jared: I know- (laughs then mimics Jensen’s mom crying.) Uh-huh, Jensen.

(turns back to fan) Hello.

•(3:05 W, 2:39 DW, 2:00 BBS)- LA08J2;Q5a- fav scene; 2x14; ACT FOUR, EXT. HOUSE – LATER (Jared)

Fan: Hello. Hi, Jared, Jensen. I’m (?Patricia?). (Jensen: Hi.)

Jared: Notice how she said, “hi, Jared, then Jensen.” (audience laughs and cheers. Jensen shakes his head)

Fan: You’re sitting in front of me.

Jared: Just a.. Just an observation. You- Don’t need to explain. Don’t need to explain. (audience laughs)

Fan: Um, uh, okay. First question is for Jared. Um, “Born Under a- (laughs)

Jared: Once again. (audience laughs. Jensen hangs his head)

Fan: Um, one of my, uh.. favorite season trailer episodes is, um, “Born Under a Bad Sign.” (Jared: Yeah?) And I wanted to know what was your favorite scene to shoot in that episode?

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: Jared's favorite BUABS scene by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jared: Uhhh, that’s a great question. My favorite scene to shoot in that episode... was... the getting exorcised scene. It was fun because.. I was tied up, so I didn’t have to move around. (audience laughs and a catcall) (thumbs to Jensen) And they’re splashing me with water. And it was fun because then I got to do that demon thing, where I.. was like, “Ah, you think you’re cool with the.. Devil’s Trap,” and I made the ceiling crack? That’s like- (turns to Jensen, nodding and flings his hand up) See, I like the eye thing. (?I knew I like that thing?).

Jensen shrugs. The audience laughs. Jared turns back around while Jensen wide eye stares away from him and then rolls his eyes. The audience laughs louder.

Jared: Um, it’s fun-

Jared slowly turns back to look at Jensen, but Jensen looks away. Jared turns back, but quickly looks back at Jensen and Jensen looks back and pumps his eyebrows, smirking. Jared turns back to the fan and laughs. Jensen chuckles to himself.

◘Supernatural LA Con: Jensen talks about ep what is and... by martithabonita◘

Jared: So, I like that. I like that whole sequence up in Bobby’s house, from getting exorcised to getting (thumbs to Jensen) fight- in a fight with Dean, to the (mimics hit) little punch that he added at the end.

Jensen: Little? (looks at Jared) (audience laughs)

Jared: (shrugs) Well, big for you.

The audience laughs and oo’s. Jared laughs. Jensen rolls his eyes and nods. Jared turns back to look at Jensen. Jensen possibly says something, maybe “yeah,” off mic or just makes a face while chewing gum, but Jared laughs harder because it. Jensen also starts laughing.

Jensen: (to audience) (pumps his eyebrows) He liked that one. (audience laughs)

◘Jensen LA SPN convention-24 J2 Panel 04-07 (body swap Jensen by DW&DW◘

Jared: I like.

•(4:12 DW, 0:27 M, 0:07 DW)- LA08J2;Q5b- fav scene; 2x20; ACT ONE, EXT. WINCHESTER HOUSE-CONTINUOUS; ACT TWO, INT. WINCHESTER HOUSE- DINING ROOM – NIGHT (Jensen)

Jensen: Uumm, (Fan: And my second ques-) Now on to the important question, yes. (audience and Jared laugh)

Fan: Yes. Um, okay, my second question for Jen, um- (Jared: Filler questions.) it’s for Jensen. Um, my other favorite season episode is “What is and What Should Never Be.” And I wanted to know what was your favorite scene to shoot that episode?

Jensen: Uumm, (lip trills) there were a couple. Uhhh, I really like the- the-uhh, when Mom opened the door. (audience aw’s) And, um, just being- (throws up hand and tilts his head back and forth at the audience) (audience laughs) (to fan) Uh, (Jared: Dirty minds.) it-it was just really hard to play, you know? It just like it w-was a lot of conflicting.. feelings and-and that- that I had to- to-to do without.. (gestures to and from his head) saying really anything.

Um, I also really like the scene (points at Jared) between he and I, uh, in the.. the dinning room. Because it was the first time sss- It was really the first time ever.. that.. I’ve had to do a scene with him.. (points at Jared) and he wasn’t.. who he normally is. (Jared: Right.) Uhm, (?Fan?: Mhmm.) all the (moves his hand back and forth), you know, the quick banter and the, you know, just the- the energy that I wo-ub, you know, we normally like have in the scene was completely gone because (points at Jared) he couldn’t react normally (points to himself) to me because I was the brother that, you know, was a, um- a mess up and, uh, you know, just a load of crap.

And- and he didn’t really care about.. me, in that scene. And so... to play against someone who I’m so used to having a certain dynamic with and having him not giving me (hand swipe) anything back was really, (wide eyes and flings hand up) really interesting to me.

Jared: That was. That was hard to do. I remember we were both-

Jensen: (points to Jared) You- you were- ee- I mean, (nods) it was difficult.

Jared: (?losing my mind?) because I wanted- Kripke to had to keep on with me in that scene in the dining room when he pulls me aside. I kept on having- I kept on clicking back to the (thumbs to Jensen) rapport that we usually have on screen, which is that brother-brother thing. But, Kripke’s like, “No!” We kept going back to, you know, you know and love Dean. (Jensen: Normal world, right? [nods] Yeah.) This is somebody you don’t know. And he’s like, “You don’t hate the guy. You just don’t know him. He.. up and left and he’s kind of a.. loser. He doesn’t do much. And you just never known the guy.”

And so, that was so hard. And that was like, “I don’t know if I could do that.” (Jensen nods) It was so tough. It was kind of sad. How sad is it that, I watch that episode and I’m like, “Aw, how sad. He has a normal life.” (audience and Jensen laugh) (?Did everybody call that?).

Jensen: (shrugs) Well, you know.

Jared: That’s a- that’s…

Jensen: So- (gestures to fan) Yes.

Fan: Well, thank you (Jared: Thank you.) (?I mean, uh,?) thank you for making the best show ever.

Jensen: Thank you. (audience cheers and claps)

Jared: Thank you for asking me your question first. (audience laughs. Jensen turns to his left shaking his head)

•(2:31 DW)- LA08J2;+1- Country vs Continent bit

Fan: Hi, Jensen. (audience laughs and oo’s.)

Jensen: Hi. (nods) Hi. (nods)

Fan: (?Thanks? or ?And?) Jared. Umm, oh, my question is-

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: Jensen being Sam! & Jared in a play? by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jared: Whatever. (turns and waves off his hand to fan) Whatever. (audience and fan laugh) (gestures to the fan on his right) Next- next (?please? or ?victim?). (Jensen tilts his head back and smiles) (turns back to the fan on his left) (audience laughs)

Fan: Again, my name is Asia. (Jensen: Hi.) Thanks again- (Jared: Not like the continent.) Huh?

Jared: Not the cont- Not the country.

Fan: Not the conti- the country. Got it. Right.

Jensen: (leans to Jared) Continent.

Audience member: Continent.

Fan: Yeah.

Jared: Country. (audience laughs)

•(2:51 DW, 0:51 BBS)- LA08J2;Q6a- Fan Request; Body Swap portrayal (Jensen)

Fan: My first question, (Jared: Countryinent.) Jensen. (Jensen: Yes.) (Jared flings his hand out) (to Jared) Stop saying country. (Jared: (?essentially?)) (audience and J2 laugh) Um.. someone else asked Jared the question earlier, but I wondered if-

Jared: (holds his hand up) Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You guys have fun. (audience laughs) (laughs)

Fan: I was- I was wondering is, um, they did a body swat- swap episode, (audience woo) what exactly would you do to portray Sam and could you give us-

Jared: Probably look at himself a lot. He’d be like this.

Jared wiggles in his seat and smooths his hands down his body. Jensen slowly turns and looks at Jared. Jared immediately gets up from his chair and walks away laughing. The audience laughs, claps, and cheers. Jared walks back and shrugs, nodding at Jensen. Jared begins to take off his coat one shoulder at a time. The audience laughs, claps, and cheers. Jared shrugs his coat back on, laughing, and then sits back down.

◘Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki by Fabi Almeida◘

◘Jensen imitating Jared as Sam by IY◘

Jensen: (to audience) Don’t encourage him. (Jared throws his head back laughing and claps his mic)

Fan: I was gonna ask you to demonstrate-

◘Jensen LA SPN convention-25 J2 Panel 05-07 (kilt) by DW&DW◘

Jensen: (to fan) Continue lovely. (audience, fan, and Jared laugh)

Fan: I was gonna ask you to demonstrate. So, you would give us a little (?flavor of him?).

Jensen: A body swap with, uh, (points to Jared) (Fan: Yeah.) Jumbo, here? (Fan: Yes.) (audience and Jared laugh) (points to Jared) You want me to imitate him? (Jared: [off mic] Oh!) (Fan: Yes, please.) (gets up and shakes his head to the audience) Gladly. (Jared laughs. The audience screams and laughs) It would be something.. something about like this.

◘LA Supernatural Con: Jensen doing his Sam impression by wfsarah◘

Jensen puts his mic down on his seat and then steps away from his chair. He hunches over and places both hands in his pockets. He looks up squinting with pursed lips and begins to walk forward looking around. The audience laughs. Jared throws himself forward laughing. Jensen’s steps get more and more exaggerated as he walks off the front right corner of the stage onto the autograph tables. Jared throws his head back and laughs.

Jensen turns around to face the crowd with his shoulder line to his ears before he starts his walk back to his seat. Audience members scream. Jared and the audience laugh. Jensen begins to violently nodding before he reaches his seat. Jared is wiping tears from his eyes and then holds his hands out and shakes his head. Jensen turns around, scratches his nose, bows to the audience, and then sits down smirking. The audience claps and cheers. Jared claps his mic, nodding and says “Alright. Alright,” off mic, then laughs some more.

•(1:58 BBS, 1:00 DW, 0:34 W)- LA08J2;Q6b- Future Projects; plays; A Few Good Men (Jared)🔮

Fan: Thanks for that, but I do have a small question for Jared.

Jared: (?Do, we?) (laughs)

Fan: Um, someone asked earlier if Jensen would be doing anymore plays on stage. Any ideas for you to do any?

Jared: Uh, me? (Fan: Yeah.) (thumbs to Jensen and laughs) Not if I look like that. (Jensen and the audience laugh) Um.. (laughs) I’d love to. I saw Jensen do that play. He-he.. kicked ass. (audience yeah and woo) And, uh, it was exciting (?to see him? or ?and for him?). (audience cheers and claps)

(gestures to audience) And, I don’t know if any of y’all guys got a chance see it, but I know we had people who seen it before. But, it’s really exciting and I was sitting there watching and my heart was beating so fast. I was like, “Dude, he doesn’t get any second takes.” Like, it hit me hard. (Jensen nods) Because, I did plays in high school and stuff, but this is in front of.. major paying audience. It’s a huge.. theatre, you know? Housing some big.. names.

Uhm, so I’d love to do it, but h-h-hopefully, um.. my career keeps going this way and I-I- I keep on.. working and establishing.. enough of a name for myself in this business, so I can.. afford to do a play (Jensen nods) in, you know, however- (squints and flips up his hand) Does that make any sense? (Jensen: No.) (Fan: Yes.) (audience laughs) (turns away nodding) No, okay. (turns back) (?Jerk?)

Fan: So, no (?Equus?) in the.. near future?

Jared: Not in the near future. I’d love to do a play at some point in time. (nods) But, I can’t foresee (gestures) in the near future.. given the chance to. (nods)

Fan: Well, thank you, and thank you for doing everything you do. I love the show.

Jared: (claps leg) Thank you.

Jensen: Thank you. (Jared and audience clap) (turns to his right)

Jared: Hello.

•(2:24 DW)- LA08J2;T2- Stolen Question

Fan: Hello. I can’t believe she stole my question. I’m pretty sad. But, um-

Jared: Next question. (turns to his left) (fan chuckles and audience laughs)

Jensen: (turns to his left) Next.

Fan: (?still have one?), uh, for Jensen. (audiences oo’s and laughs) Do you know- I-I asked you-

Jared: What was- Who was your question to?

Fan: Uh, what?

Jared: Uh, the stolen one.

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: more kilts in Jensen's future? by BabyBlueSteel◘

Fan: Uh, it was for Jensen.  (Jared looks out and thumps his mic down on his leg. audience oo’s and laughs) It was the same question asked (?right after that other one?). And, uhh, (?forgive me?) (?).

Jared: (scrunches his face) Stupid questions.

Fan: Uh-

Jensen: What was your brilliant question? (Jared and audience chuckle)

•(2:50 DW, 0:11 BBS)- LA08J2;Q7- Fashion; plans on kilts (Jensen)

Fan: Um.. Do you plan on wearing, uh, a kilt anytime soon? (Jared laughs, then nods. Audience laugh and claps) It really is.. awesome.

Jensen: (to audience) Let me rephrase that. (to fan) What’s your odd question? (audience and Jared laugh) (Fan: (?it’s my favorite?).)

Umm, (to audience) I- As some of you may know I wore, uh, a kilt in, uh-uh-uh, “10 Inch Hero.” (audience woo’s and claps. Jared nods) And.. (holds a hand up) Which was part of the character. (audience laughs. Jared looks down and smiles) It’s not something I do on a day to day basis. (audience and Jared chuckle)

Umm, (to fan) my answer would probably be no. (audience and Jared laugh.) Uh, unless, you know.. (shrugs, shaking his head, then looks at Jared) unless it’s Halloween, you know what I mean? (Jared: [nods] [off mic] Yeah.) Yeah, okay. (turns to his left then back to fan and shrugs)

Fan: (?Yeah, okay.?) Thank you.

Jensen: Sorry, (flings hand up) I didn’t have a more interesting answer for you. Like, “I’m wearing one right now, underneath.” (audience laughs. Jared smiles) “I just took it off.” (Jared says something off mic) Yeah. (laughs) “I just changed. It’s what I sleep in.”

The audience and Jared laugh. An audience member lets out a loud woo. The audience laughs. Jensen had turned to his left, but then slowly gives a face to the audience. The audience laughs harder.

◘Jensen LA SPN convention-26 J2 Panel 06-07 (junk food) by DW&DW◘

Jensen: (smiles and tilts his head) Okay. (briefly turns back to his left) (Fan: Uh-) (to Jared) Apparently we have a.. from some- from- someone from Scotland here. (audience laughs) (turns back to fan on his left)

•(3:51 DW, 0:11 DW)- LA08J2;Q8a- fav acting medium; Mr. Rhodes (Jensen)

Fan: Uhm, I actually have two questions and Jared can have the second one. So it’s.. (audience oo’s, aw’s and laughs. Jensen bobs his head and smirks) Sorry, Jared.

Jensen: Yes. (Jared is looking down, sad-frowning)

Fan: We didn’t have enough time to finish our questions with Jensen, so you’re finishing us up.

Jensen: (to Jared) Yeah. (nods) (?Just saying, man?).

Jared: Alright, fine.

Fan: Alright, um, so, you just had the opportunity to act on stage and you’ve done film and television before. What’s your favorite medium and why?

Jensen: Umm, (lip trill) ..I’d have to say that, uhh, of all the jobs I’ve had probably the, like- I’d say my favorite.. would have to be (Jared: Days of Our Lives.) (audience laughs) half hour- (laughs)

Jared: (?Sell out?), but Days of Our Lives.

Jensen: Would have to be half- a half hour sitcom. Uh, I did- I did a show. It’s like the first thing that I did when I moved to LA. It was, uh, a show called, “Mr. Rhodes.” And it was a half-hour sitcom on ABC.

But, the great thing is.. you-you rehearse all week.. and then you preform in front of a live audience. So, it’s basically the best of both worlds. You get TV and you get, you know, uh, theatre. Um, so you get that-that kind of immediate, uh, gratification from an audience, but you also have the ability to go back and redo it if it messes up.

So, um.. I- And (to Jared) the schedule just unbelievable. (Jared: Yeah.) I mean, (to fan) you work for three weeks and get a week off every month, are you kidding me? (audience laughs) I- (shakes head) I just, (to Jared) you know, those “Friends” people had it made. (audience laughs) (to fan) So.

•(1:33 DW)- LA08J2;Q8b- Acting Challenges; Special Effects; 2x01

Fan: And then, my second question, which Jared can answer, because it was for both of you.

Jared: Okay, I’ll answer it. (audience laughs)

Fan: Um, (Jared: If I must.) how difficult is it to imagine Special Effects like the black smoke? What kind of, um, eyeline match do you have?

Jensen: I’m glad you asked. Um, (Jared and audience laugh) (laughs)

Jared: I’ll- (bumps Jensen’s arm) go ahead and take this one. (Jensen: [nods] Alright.) It- it started out pretty tough, ‘cause you- you’re lookin’ at tape and, you know, I mean, pieces of tape, like x-marks on the box. And they’re going, “It’s a-“ you know, “It’s a demon on fire and smoke.” And you’re going, “Ahh.” You know? (audience laughs) Like, you don’t know what to do. 

But, there’s been a learning curve (Jensen nods) of.. filming it and remembering how you feel in the scene on screen-

Fan: Is it like following it across- Do they like have like a pole? Do they have something-

Jared: Sometimes. (Jensen nods) Every now and again they’ll have, um, a-a tennis ball at the end of a pole. Uhm, and they’ll sort of run it around. Otherwise, uhm.. you know, you’ll- your eyes will be here (gestures off to his left) then they’ll have, “Okay,” it goes to the next part and you’ll have to look at the next part.

Uhm.. but a lot of times luckily.. they’ll.. have us.. sync it up. You know? Because we get- we get a chance to do it (cycle gesture) over and over and over again. So, I think rarely we probably get it right the first time. But, we can just do just a series of, like, you start there. Go to the next one. Go all the way there and back, you know?

Jensen: (to fan) It’s a lot- You got a lot of different factors that kind of, uh, that come into it as well, you know? Uh, in the episode, “My Time of Dying” where I run in and I see like, the- the grim reaper, like, hanging over the- the hospital bed. That was actually just an electrician with a pole and (mimics bowl) a-a bowl at the end of it, um, as an eyeline. But, they needed something- (*missing coverage)

•(insomnia_geek •30)- LA08J2;FR2- Acting Challenges; Special Effects; 2x01

“About working with special effects and the eyeline matching -- it's been a learning curve, but they've gotten better and they find it easier. In IMTOD, when the reaper was hovering over the hospital bed, Jensen was really staring at a sweaty grip with a light on a pole for the shiny reaper lighting effect. They prefer doing it in shooting, when they have something to look at even if it's a tennis ball, rather than in post, when they might have to stare at nothing.” – IG

•(insomnia_geek •31, sara_p para. 39)- LA08J2;FR3- 3x08; Product Placement; Creative Control

“The Christmas episode, they loved the kids. The Funyons are written in the script, and after the writers put it there, they have to see if they're allowed to use the product placement. Jared loves Funyons, doesn't think they had any problem getting to use those. (…)” – IG

“There were some more random questions (again, people are trying to dig into the what parts of the show are ad-libbed thing, because someone asked if they chose the food that wee!Dean brought in in 3x08), but there was a good conversation about Funyuns, and Jared and Jensen's favorite junk food. (…)” - S

◘Jensen LA SPN convention-27 J2 Panel 07-07 (directing) by DW&DW◘

Fan: -comes in looks a bag of Funyuns and (Jensen nods) some candy bars. H-

Jensen: (to audience) Those kids loved those by the way. (audience cheers and claps) (nods)

•(0:10 DW)- LA08J2;Q9a- 3x08; Product Placement; Creative Control

Fan: Um, I was just wondering if the Funyuns and, like, the Zagnut candy bars if those were written into the script or were those stuff that you guys liked, and so that’s why they got them or?

Jensen: (to Jared) They were written into the script, weren’t they?

Jared: Yeah, (Jensen: [nods] Yeah.) I never had a Zagnuts. I-I love Funyuns. (audience laughs)

Jensen: Yeah. (nods to fan) They-they- that’s a- that was a writing- a writing call. (Fan: Thanks.) Yeah.

Jared: Also they- once again, there are many factors like.. you can’t just- uh, they must also have some sort of deal or Funyuns says (?)-

Jensen: Got to get (?airline nuts?).

Fan: Yeah.

Jared: You can’t just throw Coca-Cola and Reese’s pieces and stuff and go like, “Okay, look, here’s your M&M’s.” And M&M’s is going, “Uh, we didn’t tell you, you could use our M&M’s.” So, I guess they went out to Funyuns and had to get approve and stuff like that.

Jensen: Well, they- they write what-

Jared: It’s probably a personal favorite of mine.

Jensen: They write what they want and then they see if they can get that. And if it’s just, you know, the- uh, if it’s too difficult then they might change it to something else. But, I can’t imagine Funyuns and, uh, were too hard to get, yeah. (shrugs) So. (pumps eyebrows at audience) (audience laughs)

Jared: It’s probably like, whoever wrote it probably really loves it, you know? It’s like all the characters really have a different, uhm- in different small (?towns?), like, you know, uhhh- Who was- What was the name of- in Croatoan, um.. Bargus or something like that. It was like someone’s best friend (Jensen nods) or the writer’s best friend and they used their, you know. So.

Jensen: Yeah. All the names- (Jared: Yeah, are all-) are all-

Jared: Like, that was my first grade teacher, you know? (Jensen nods) So.

Jensen: Yeah.

•(1:22 DW)- LA08J2;Q9b- fav snack/junk food

Fan: Okay, but then on that note, do you have a favorite- What’s your favorite snack food or junk food to eat just whenever?

Jensen: (points at Jared) Anything with sugar. (audience laughs)

Jared: Don’t point at me when you s-say sugar. (audience laughs)

Jensen: Um. (looks at Jared and chews his gum and starts the jingle) Dun, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah, Honey, Honey. (audience laughs) (exhales) (?Oh boy?).

Jared: Anything with sugar, Me. This guy-

Jensen: Uhm, (shrugs and flips his hand up) I don’t know. Whatever’s available is fine. Because I’m hungry, you know. Yeah. (Fan: Thank you.) Beef Jerky, ehh, you know? Sugar. (audience giggles) Doughnuts. (shrugs looks to his left then goes back and shrugs again) or whatever. We’re not picky.

Jared: (off mic) (?Okay,?) thank you, (?um-?)

Jensen: (turns to his left) Hi.

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: Jensen on playing Dean by BabyBlueSteel◘

Fan: Hello, boys! (chuckle) (Jensen: Hi.) I’m ap-apologizing to Jared now because I already asked him these questions. (Jensen looks at Jared) So, I’m asking Jar- Jensen first. (audience giggles) But then I have a question for both of you to make up for it.

Jared: (sighs) I’m (?okay, he can go first?). It’s what he does.

•(2:18 DW, 0:11 BBS)- LA08J2;Q10a- Acting Challenges; Facets of Dean; fav of Dean (Jensen)

Fan: So, um, this is about getting into character of Dean. Is there a certain facet of Dean’s personality that’s hardest for you to portray on screen? And on top of that, is there a certain side of Dean that’s your most favorite to play?

Jensen: Uhh, I’d say the most difficult is just his affection towards his brother. (Jared laughs. audience laughs, oo’s, and aw’s) (shakes head) (Jared pouts) I struggle with it daily. (audience laughs and aws. Jared laughs) (smiles) Uh, no. 

It- um.. I don’t know. I mean, when- when you- when you play a character, uh, as- as much and as intensely as-as we do it-it-it becomes very, euh.. natural, um, to.. you know, feel or know what- how he would react or what he might do in a certain situation. (Jared nods)

Um, you know, the emotional stuff is always tough. And that’s tough for both- Uh, (Jared waves at the audience) (turns to Jared) (Jared nods to Jensen) I-I don’t know. (to fan) I think that’s tough for playing any character. Uhm, to-to, you know, figure out-

I do know that it is easier now, um, I think I touched on this before, for, eh-eh-I think (gestures to Jared and himself) both of us to-to get into a kind of emotional, uh, state.. in the scene than it used to be before we, you know, knew each other that well. (Jared: [nods] [off mic] Right.)

You know, now- I mean, back then you had to like (points to his head) think about something that would really get you worked up. But, know it’s like, you know, we know these characters so well, and we, you know, we know each other so well that we can just use each other to-to- to get, you know- to get where we need to be. So.

•(3:43 DW, 0:11 BBS)- LA08J2;Q10b- fav part of Dean (Jensen)

Um, you know, I-I- I don’t know. I think the- the part that I like the most is- is just his, uh- um, when he gets snappy and sarcastic and cranky. (audience giggles) That’s always fun for me to play. (smirks) Because then I don’t have to be in real life.

◘Jensen LA SPN convention-23 J2 Panel 03-07 (Jen fave screen) by DW&DW◘

Fan: There you go.

Jensen: Yeah.

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: directing ambitions? by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(4:01 DW, 0:03 DW, 0:00 BBS)- LA08J2;Q10c- Future Projects; Directing 🔮

Fan: And, um, have either of you ever thought of maybe trying out, you know, directing an episode or helping to direct an episode or directing, you know, something that you guys enjoy or look forward to maybe doing in the future?

Jensen: (looks at Jared then back at fan) Um, it’s something I’m- I’m interested in. Um, Iii- I know that it’s, uh, you know- It’s- it’s very difficult for.. (smacks lips) our show specifically (Jared: [nods] [off mic] yeah.) to allow one of us to direct an episode. Simply because they can’t lighten our, um- you know, our load. As- as far as the ac- the acting work goes.

Um, you know, you have, uh, you know, like, uh, I’m going to use “Smallville” as an example, because Tom’s a friend of ours. And-and he’s directed a few episodes and.. it’s much easier for him because he’s got cast of, you know, nine or ten. (Jared: [nods] [off mic] Yeah.) So, they can write heavy.. other characters and lighten his load the- the previous shows so that he can prep for the next episode. And then lighten his load on the-the episode that he’s directing, so that he can concentrate on directing.

(shakes head) It’s just.. not- it’s just not that doable for our show. So, um- You know, is it- is it doable at all? I-I- probably, ‘cause you know. Will it happen? (shrugs) Depends. Depends on if the writers are willing to, you know.. go the extra mile and make it- you know, make it feasible for us. (nods)

Fan: Good. (Jared: [off mic] Yeah.) Okay. (Jensen: Yeah.) Thank you very much.

Jensen: (nods) Yeah.

Jared: Thank you. (Jensen turns to his right.)

•(1:25 DW)- LA08J2;Q11a- 2x15; thoughts on playing extreme caricatures

Fan: Hi, Guys.

Jensen: Hi.

Jared: Hello.

Fan: In “Tall Tales,” when Bobby first comes and you guys were recounting your views of each other at the.. bar. Did you guys enjoy playing kind of, like, extreme.. (Jared: I hadn’t been.) caricatures (audience giggles) of yourself? Like, you were.. really nerdy. And (Jared: Yeah.) his.. was hitting on girls.

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: Dean talking with himself in DALDOM by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jared: (nods) I loved it. I thought it was (?good, because-?)

Jensen: I did too. (audience and Jared laugh)

Jared: Yeah, I thought it was fun. I knew it was gonna be.. um, really funny sequence, because reading the script I was laughing out loud. You know, lot of times when I read the script I’ll kind of go, “huh,” you know? (Jensen smiles) Or, “Oh, that’s going to be funny.”

But, I was reading the script and just laughing. I was like, “Man, even I can’t mess this up.” (chuckles) (audience laughs) Because I was, “Alright, let’s go at it.” It was- It was a- it was a lot of fun. (turns to Jensen) (Jensen nods)

(to fan) The whole episode was a lot of fun, you know? We like those. We really enjoy the- um, we do. (slight turn to Jensen and flips hand) I know I do and I know (thumbs to Jensen) he does enjoy the kind of lighter moments of Supernatural. I mean, it can be so dark and so ominous so often that it’s fun to.. get a scare but also get a laugh, you know? (nods) (Jensen nods)

•(2:23 DW, 0:45 BBS)- LA08J2;Q11b- 3x10; ACT FOUR, INT. MOTEL ROOM; DREAM; thoughts on yelling at your double; Acting Challenges (Jensen)

Fan: Yeah, then I have a quick question for Jensen.

Jared: mhm. (nods then snorts and then leans back) (audience giggles)

Fan: Um, in- I forgot the name of the episode. W-Where you guys went through the- uh, like, Bobby’s dream, like the (?living room?)- (Jared: Dream a Little Dream?) (Jensen gestures to the audience. Audience answers “Dream a Little Dream”) “Dream a Little Dream,” yes. (audience laughs. Jensen smirks.)

Um, what was it like yelling at yourself? Like, you enjoy- like, did you enjoy that (?acid trip?)-

Jensen: That was a really, really hard scene, umm, I’m being serious. That-the-the- the director, uh, I love to death, his name is Steve Boyum. Um.. you know, he had- he had somethings in mind they wanted to do during that scene. And, um, you know, when you’re dealing with a television schedule sometimes it doesn’t always allow for the (hand quote) artistic shot to be done, because you got to get your basics. I mean, you gotta, you know, essentially cover your ass otherwise your-your- your gonna, you know? The network is gonna come down on you.

So, ee- doing that, you know, I had to play, um, I had to play one side of the scene.. uuhhm, a certain way and (shakes his head and slaps his leg) (to Jared) God bless him, I can’t remember his name, but the-the- (to fan) the guy who stood in for me (Jared nods) on the other end, um, knew all of my lines, (Jared shakes his head) backwards and forwards. And I was so impressed with him. Um, and (scratches his head) I’m killing myself to think of his name.

Jared: (?It was a big scene?). It looked like a five or six (Jensen: [nods] Yeah.) (?scene was it?)?

Jensen: And, you know- But at the same time I couldn’t tell him how I wanted to play the scene. I couldn’t be like, “Listen, act just like me.” (audience laughs) So, I had to remember in my head how I was going to be delivering those lines to me and then react off of the way how I was thinking about those lines- (closes his eyes and shakes his head, holding his hand up) It was very confusing and it was very difficult. And it was very challenging, so, you know, at the end of the day I was like, “Phew, mark that off the list.”

But, uh- and then I think the most difficult thing was the, uh-um- I had to.. get into the demon- Like when I get shot, and the blood all over my face and put the- the eyes in and- (shakes head) and I gave that weird voice, which I don’t know where that came from. (audience laughs. Jared snorts) Um. And then I had to get all cleaned up and go back into the scene and do another take of, (Jared: Oh god.) like, only because- because he wanted- he had time to get that kind of (hand quote) cool double cut shot.

◘Jensen LA SPN Convention-03 by DW&DW◘

And so, by then I was just like, “Steve? This better be the most un- This better win you an Emmy.” (audience laughs then claps. Jared smiles) (shakes his head then nods) Yeah. Thank you. (turns to his right)

•(0:37 DW)- LA08J2;T3- stolen question part 2

Fan: Hi, guys. My name is Erica, uh, (?that’s the way’s it’s pronounced?). (giggles)

Jared: Ah.

Jensen: Hey, hey. (?Big D?).

Fan: Um, she took my question. I was gonna ask Jensen what it was like to act with a Jensen Ackles guy, but (Jared and audience laugh. Jensen nods his head) she stole my questions.

Jensen: And of course you have a backup question?

Fan: No, I don’t.

Jensen: Fantastic. (Fan: But-) Thanks for coming up. (Fan: No.) (audience laughs) (laughs)

•(0:57 DW)- LA08J2;Q12a- 3x10; ACT FOUR, LATER- EXT. IMPALA; thoughts on Dean’s domestic dream (Jensen)🔮

Fan: I’m a smart one. Um, inn “Dream a Little Dream” (Jensen: Yeah.) Dean has to.. go into his dream and he looks at the character Lisa, who he liked, um, who thought Ben was his kid. (Jensen: mhm, mhm.) Um.. what do you think about Dean’s longing to have that family?

Jensen: Umm.. (smacks lips) You know, I-I think it’s- it’s written in the d-that- it’s something that he longs for, you know? It’s-it’s- I think that, you know, you saw obviously first.. season, uumm, his drive.. and his intent on having that family.. reunited. You know, (gestures to Jared) getting him, finding Dad, and having everybody together and how much that meant to him.

So, you know, it’s something that he never had. And he sees it and I-I think that there’s envy there, but at the same time I think that he knows that he could never- (shakes head) He could never settle into something like that. He’s seen too much and done t-so much that it just- it’s kind of irreversible.

Um, so, it’s-it’s more of a.. longing sadness than something that he really yearns for. (nods) Yeah. (Fan: And-) (to Jared nodding) That’s a pretty good answer wasn’t it? (audience laughs)

Jared: Pretty good. I’m (?fucked?). (?I’m like-?)

Jensen: I might- I might write that down. (Jared laughs)

•(2:08 DW)- LA08J2;Q12ba- 3x11; ACT FOUR; Thoughts on Sam living without Dean (Jared)

Fan: Jared, in “Mystery Spot,” playing Sam has to live without Dean- (*missing footage)

•(insomnia_geek •37, bardicvoice para. 60, sara_p para. 41)- LA08J2;FR4- 3x11; ACT FOUR; Thoughts on Sam living without Dean (Jared)

“In Mystery Spot, we saw Sam without Dean, which was not good. He really was like John. Sam was tough, but it was tough to play him like that. He had a time finding how to act without Dean, because they really are a double act. He commented on the bullet scene, poking around the fake chest prosthetic and pretending to sew it up, and the fake skin was peeling around the edges and it looked really gross. Said the whole thing could make you nauseous.” – IG

“Responding to another question about Mystery Spot, Jared volunteered that the scenes of life without Dean were really hard, that it had been like having a whole new character to play because of how different Sam became. He said that it had been hard to put himself into the whole place of “my brother’s dead, this is Supernatural without Dean,” and it was hard. (He pretty much ran out of adjectives and just reverted to adding emphasis …). On a practical level, he said that the scene of Sam pulling the bullet out of himself was hard in a different way, because he was fitted with a chest appliance covering his own skin, and it felt weird to look in the mirror and poke into it to pull the bullet out and then sew it up.” – B

“Jared talking about Dark!Sam in Mystery Spot was awesome. He specifically mentioned the scene where he had to take the bullet out and sew himself up, and that there was this fake chest prosthetic piece, and having fake skin peeling around the edges made him nauseous, and then Jensen jumped in with "that was his real skin," and Jared was all "I'm just that good." MAN.” - S

◘Jensen and Jared in LA: dark Sam in Mystery Spot, panel end by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(0:00 BBS)- LA08J2;Q12bb- 3x11; ACT FOUR; Thoughts on Sam living without Dean cont. (Jared)

Jared: -Real life, you know, but, um-

Fan: Kind of scary. Kind of like John.

Jared: Yeah. Yeah he kind of had to get a hard ass, you know, all down-to-business. And when he’s pulling the bullet out of himself, which is a tough sequence to shoot. (audience woo and clap)

Yeah. (nods to audience) They had that little thing. Like, they put me in a body cast, you know, so it’s all this.. (gestures around his torso) mesh. And you’re sitting there and you’re kind of (mimics digging for the bullet) trying to find the bullet. And you can see the fake skin (makes a disgusted face) coming off and (shivers and shakes hand) it kind of makes you nauseous. (audience chuckles) But, uh-

Jensen: (to audience) That wasn’t fake skin. (nods) That was actually him. (audience laughs)

Jared: Yeah, that was actually me. I’m that tough. But, um, it was really tough.

Jensen: Soo, method this guy.

Jared: Yeah. (nods and laughs) I commit.

Jensen: Daniel Daniels who?

Jared: Yeah, who? (audience laughs) Never heard of him.

Fan: Thank you, guys.

Jensen: Thank you.

Jared: Thank you.

(0:36 BBS) -Closing

Jensen: And, uh, I guess (leans forward and looks off stage to his right) is that, uh.. (Jared looks to his right) Is that- is that it? That finishes this sequence of events. (Jared claps)

Jared: (to audience) Thank you guys (?and then?). (audience claps and cheers)

Jensen: (to audience) Thanks everybody.

◘Jensen LA SPN Convention-02 (end) by DW&DW◘

◘Supernatural LA Con: Jared & Jensen leaving stage by martithabonita◘

◘Jensen/Jared leaving by IY◘

Jared stands, clapping. Jensen gets up from his chair and picks up Jared’s pigtail bts photo from the floor, while Jared goes off to the right of the stage and exchanges his mic for a silver sharpie from a creation employee. Jensen follows suit. Jared and Jensen then sign the convention wall poster on the right of the screen. Jared signs under his face and Jensen signs next to Chad’s face.

Jared finishes first and then moves to the left one and starts jumping to try and reach closer to his printed face, making the crowd laugh. Jared settles for signing above Fred’s face and Jensen sided to the other side underneath Dean’s face. The boys hand back the sharpies to the creation employee and then start their walk off stage.

?Adam Malin?: Jared and Jensen and Jared!

The audience claps and cheers. The boys wave at the crowd as they leave towards and behind the curtains, signaling the panel’s end.

[rudeflower]

"take an extra long shower?" JESS ANGST

HI

I'm having a crappy day so I am on my Gilmore Girls rewatch and I reached a point that even when I was a thirteen/fourteen year old kid REALLY STOOD OUT as evidence that Jess has had a fucked up life??

Fandom varies a whole lot on interpretations of Jess's life in New York which is lovely I love that fandom let's us take things as we take them

These range from "Liz is an ordinary mom and Jess is a difficult obstinate kid who is giving his single mom a lot of grief" (I don't love this one but you do you) to "Extreme chaos, Liz was using hard drugs, Jess was severely dangerously constantly abused and neglected" (I land not quite this far but definitely over the median line)

We have a lot of evidence we take out to point in either direction, but there's one thing I don't see discussed often in 3x13

So Jess (a high school student) is keeping the diner open at 11:30 at night, waiting for Luke to come back from his date with Nicole. The diner certinaly is not open until midnight, is Jess keeping it open just so he can catch them when the come in and see what's going on? So they don't walk in on him living his life in his apartment with no privacy?

Jess, certainly without being asked to, has placed himself ready to respond to this situation and take control.

He has fresh hot coffee for them and acts quickly when they walk in

Luke has no idea what he's talking about, and Jess is acting like this is something that both of them are aware of and silently already agreed upon. He's genuinely confused that Luke is confused about the idea of him wandering around after midnight so Luke can have sex in their one room apartment

Then when Luke finally catches on and tries to take Jess aside, Jess is even more confused and maybe a little scared?

Look at Nicole just having the time of her life

In Jess's mind it is a GIVEN that he is going to get out of the way so that Luke can hook up with his date. He is genuinely confused and them ALARMED and argumentative when Luke tries to shut it down.

Luke is a normal healthyish adult who knows that a kid being out in the cold when he doesn't have a friend whose house he's playing video games while waiting around at is a BAD THING. He never planned on Jess leaving??? He's probably a little surprised Jess is up at all, why is the diner open why isn't he asleep? Jess had kicked out Kirk on his own plenty of times, and Caesar is gone, but he isn't about to tell his kid off in front of Nicole.

And he doesn't. When he realizes what's going on he gets Jess out of the room to talk/yell at him. Which is good?

(Luke also literally hits him in the back of the head while Jess is arguing?? I love Luke and I know it's a little bop not a smack but YIKES let's not?????)

Considering how Jess thinks there's two ways to read this.

One is that Jess has been doing this for years with Liz. The adult who is pretending to take care of him (from Jess's POV) coming back to a cramped living space with no privacy is something he already has a routine for. He is awake, he is ready for them to come back, he gets a read on what's going on and then if he doesn't think he has to protect Liz/Luke from the date then he is GONE. It's 11:30 at night? So? He's just going to walk around and stay the fuck out of the way.

Jess is acting out a pattern he's lived over and over, and he doesn't find being booted out into the cold to be unusual, it's confusing that anyone else would.

The second way is that Jess is truly trying to be a bro to his uncle and get him laid. He sees how Luke is a freaking monk and wants to be helpful so he can hook up with this lawyer. He isn't acting out a pattern, he's trying something new.

But fuck that ALSO is not looking good???? It's not ideal at all that Luke has chosen for their living situation to be a big open room, but Jess has adjusted to it and he's willing to take the hit and go out in the cold so that Luke can get laid.

This scenario would show that he truly assumes that Luke is not concerned about his welfare--which is whatever, fine. Okay. Luke doesn't care that Jess has to go out into the cold so he can get laid--Jess is confused that he does.

It also suggests that Jess truly believes it is his job to take care of his guardian, not the other way around.

Overall this scene, while kind of funny, actually has really dark edges to it? Either Jess thinks he has to get out of dodge to protect himself, or he thinks it's his job to manage Luke's social life. Given we know that Liz had guys coming in and out, and it's not likely Jess often lived places with a lot of privacy, he is almost certainly acting out routines he's been taking part of since he was young.

Jess has probably gone out into the night to avoid hearing that shit plenty of times.

And when it was raining, or too cold, or just not an option?

Why do you think Jess needs the music on to sleep?

[guardian-angle22]

Happy to present to y'all this 911LS fic list for stories related to one of my favorite episodes 3.13 Riddle of the Sphynx! I try to make these as comprehensive as possible, so if you have any you think I missed, let me know so I can add them. (I also might make edits to these posts to add more fics as they get written. If I ever do so I'll be sure to reblog the post for visibility!)

Enjoy all of our amazing fandom writers and leave them some comments & love!

[Disclaimers: • If you're an author and don't like to be tagged or linked for any reason, let me know and I'll remove the tag and make sure not to do so in the future, no questions asked. • I usually post TWs in rec lists. Due to the episode subject matter, assume all of these have a TW for discussion of addiction/drug use and possibly discussion of parent death/grief.]

◆ Heard the risk is drowning by @paperstorm (Words: 15.3 K; Rating: M)

A tag for 3x13, "Riddle of the Sphynx", in which Carlos combats his own insecurities as TK tries to heal.

◆ Chasers by @carlos-in-glasses (Words: 13.4K; Rating: E)

After 3x13 – while TK is alone with Cooper, Carlos is alone with his thoughts. Both recall times they’ve chased the next high, other men, or each other. When Carlos arrives home, TK still has something important to say – and it's something he didn’t tell Cooper.

◆ trying my best by @reyescarlos (Words: 10.3K; Rating: M)

An exploration of TK's sobriety journey from 2017 to now. Or, a season 3 coda spanning 3x08-3x13

◆ You Showed me How it feels to Truly be Seen by @ramblingdisaster73 (Words: 3K; Rating: T)

Carlos works through the events of 3x13 "The Riddle of the Sphinx".

◆ Measure of a Man by @chicgeekgirl89 (Words: 1.8K; Rating: T)

“I want to be everything you need. That I can’t be, it hurts, T.K. It feels like a failure on my part. And as much as I’m trying to accept it, it’s hard.” A 3x13 coda in which Carlos struggles with a new definition of being "enough."

◆ I'll be here all the same by @strandnreyes (Words: 4.8K; Rating: G)

“I am glad you have someone you can talk to who can maybe do a better job at fixing things,” Carlos insists before dropping his eyes to their tangled together fingers. “All I want is for you to be okay.”It’s not surprising to hear, but it hits as if it was. That really is the root of this whole thing. As much as Carlos wants to do what he can to be the person to get TK to that place, at the end of the day all he really wants is for TK to get there.“I will be.”Or, three late night conversations following the events of 3.13

◆ Trigger by comes2gusu (Words: 4.7K; Rating: T)

TK is struggling with his newly found sobriety. After being triggered at an NA meeting, Cooper takes TK for omelets

◆ this love we carry by @thevenstar (Words: 7.6K; Rating: T)

A 3x13 coda in which Carlos has a conversation with a friend, puts his heart to rest, and learns that walking away does not mean surrender.

◆ Those Pieces by @taralaurel (Words: 7.3K; Rating: M)

"I, I'm not telling you all - this - so you can fix me," TK huffs a hot breath against Carlos' chin, "or save me or really, do anything, okay?" Carlos nods against TK's forehead. TK has done a lot of things in his life to deserve the bad that has happened to him. He has no idea what good he's done to deserve Carlos. Coda to 3x13

◆ the one i want by @chaotictarlos (Words: 2K; Rating: E)

TK gets Carlos to take his shirt off.

◆ i want you to unravel me by @reyescarlos (Words: 4.2K; Rating: E)

In the aftermath of the strain that's fallen over them, TK and Carlos bridge the gap with open conversation that brings them closer together, both emotionally and physically. [3x13 coda]

◆ Just Wanna Breathe by @theoceanismyinkwell (Words: 1.9K; Rating: G)

Carlos doesn’t dare look at him for long, knowing that his eyes have always been the window to his soul, the weakest part of his body, unveiling everything in the well of truths he’s kept a lid on for years and years. His family may not be able to read him as well as he feared for the decades he was in the closet, but TK has a way of crashing into his life with a formidable gentleness and a piercing understanding that unmoors him in every possible way.And that’s precisely what TK is doing now, keeping the warmth of his palms flush against the beating of Carlos’ skin, cradling his face, forcing them both to gaze into each other’s eyes and face each other’s unspoken terrors without flinching.TK sounds like he has a lump in his throat. “I’m going to say something, and I want you to listen to me and I want you to remember it.”---Or: What happens when Carlos comes back home after TK's talk with Cooper, and the confessions that spill out after.

◆ waiting on the sidelines by @morganaspendragonss (Words: 1.5K; Rating: T)

They’d promised each other no more secrets, and while Carlos rationally knows that these aren’t exactly secrets, there’s still this grain of resentment inside of him that scratches away with every beat of his heart. It’s something he can’t let show in front of TK ever again, which is why he’s here, outside Owen's house while TK and Cooper talk in the loft.If anyone’s going to understand what he’s feeling, it’s Owen Strand.

◆ Three Weeks In by @masterroadtripper (Words: 3K; Rating: T; TW: self-harm)

It’d been three weeks since Sadie had drugged them - nineteen days since TK started a ninety-day NA sobriety program at the local Synagogue and eleven days since Carlos had met Cooper for the first time - before Carlos realized that there was something else TK wasn’t telling him.

◆ What We Need by Ehm (Words: 3.1K; Rating: T)

"You okay, bud?" Cooper startled him out of his thoughts and he let go of the spoon with a clinking noise. He straightened up, embarrassed. "Sorry, I zoned out." "I can see that," Cooper sounded vaguely amused. "You wanna talk about it?" --- Three times TK has a conversation with Cooper, and one time he talks to Carlos. Or, 3x13 and beyond from TK's point of view.

◆ Nocturne by @sanctuaryforalluniverses (Words: 735; Rating: T)

Carlos comes home. (Post-ep for 3x13)

◆ Precious Love by @rmd-writes (Words: 11.6K; Rating: M)

This is five times TK thinks he doesn’t deserve love and one time he knows he does – an exploration of TK’s relationship with love and self-worth.

◆ Inside a snow globe by @goodways (Words: 6.9K; Rating: E)

It isn’t until TK is on top, lavishing Carlos’ neck, stroking his hand up his side, that Carlos brings their faces together, barely a suggestion of a kiss between them. He holds TK’s jaw and keeps him close whilst he readies the question in his mind. He breathes out a straightforward and tempting, “fuck me,” over TK’s lips which silences the world outside their bedroom. TK’s response whenever he’s asked for this has few variations between immediate enthusiastic compliancy and the sweet reassurance he knows Carlos is dying for. The answer is always yes. - The evening after TK gets his one month sobriety chip.

◆ my home has been your heart since the day i met you by @lavendergiroux (Words: 1.8K; Rating: M)

After Carlos leaves Cooper and TK to talk, all they do is talk about him. When Carlos comes home - they are still talking about him.

◆ Deep Talks and Cuddles by raniaswritings (Words: 1.2K; Rating: T)

TK talks to Cooper and Carlos comes back home after a few hours

◆ “What are you doing?” “I don’t want you to do that.” by @irispurpurea (Words: 1.1K; Rating: T)

Fictober 2022 Day 13 and 14. Prompts: “What are you doing?” “I don’t want you to do that.” “What are you doing?” Carlos looks up to find TK frowning at him from their bedroom. “I…” Carlos holds up the blanket in his hands, unsure what else to say. He thinks it’s pretty obvious what he’s doing. Then again, tonight has proven that he can’t do anything right, apparently, when it comes to TK.

◆ "It's your shirt..." by @lavendergiroux (Words: 780; Rating: M)

TK really didn't want to talk about it, he just really needed Carlos to claim him...

◆ sunkissed face by mooshkat (Words: 1K; Rating: T)

To show his appreciation, TK decides to make Carlos breakfast.

Spec Fics Written Prior to the Episode Airing/Canon Convergence:

◆ if the darkness comes, i'll stay by @doublel27 (Words: 3.2K; Rating: T)

“I had some things to do,” TK says, his stomach twisting. “Some things?” “Carlos, I texted,” TK reminds his boyfriend, because he did. “It’s fine.” “Is it?” Carlos asks, his voice dangerously calm. or TK comes home late for the third night in one week, and he and Carlos have a necessary confrontation. A speculative fic for 3x13.

◆ Caught by @littlemissmarianna (Words: 761; Rating: G)

“Who’s that?” Carlos doesn’t answer Mitchell’s question because he doesn’t know. There’s only a handful of people he can identify from the back, and this guy isn’t on the list. He has broad shoulders, though, and nice hair and is probably good-looking. Why else would TK be staring at him so intently?

◆ In Order to Get Back to Us by reyestrand (Words: 2.2K; Rating: G)

Carlos waits up for TK when he’s late coming home and they talk about the things they’re afraid to. - a 3x13 speculation fic

◆ still comparing your past to my future by @kiras-sunshine (Words: 17.4K; Rating: T)

Something else than the wallowing feeling of uneasiness, anxiety and hurt in the bottom of his stomach. All of it seems to have a chokehold on his heart and no matter what he tries to think about, his thoughts always go back to TK, to worry that keeps mixing in with everything, and the brightness of TK’s smile, the way the corner of his mouth curled up and his eyes shone, when he smiled at someone else than him.

[oneshotnewbie]

Hi! I would love to request something! if your requests are closed don’t worry, feel free to ignore this :)

I’d love to request a 911 one shot with Maddie Buckley x fem!reader, they could either be together or just feel something for one another but are still not a thing. Basically I just watched 3x13 and I cried the entire time because I love her and she has been through so much. So I was thinking about a one shot in which Maddie has a really bad day (it can be related to her past with Doug or something else that’s up to you) but she’s been on the verge of breaking down the entire day so she goes to the reader’s house for comfort and she just treats her gently and hugs her and makes sure she feels safe with her. I just love her so much I need to give her a hug. Also, sorry for my english, it’s not my first language. have a good day 🫶🏻

Authors note: Enjoy reading. I tried to fulfill your request as best as I could and I hope you like it ♥

ᕚ---ᕘ

The lights of the dispatch center stung Maddie Buckley's eyes like tiny needles today. Every time she turned her head, the harsh white of the neon tubes seemed to glow brighter, like a painful flash that burned itself almost aggressively into her consciousness. She felt a dull throbbing building behind her forehead and forced herself to ignore it. Another day, she told herself. Another day at work, like always. But even as she took her place at the console and entered her login information into the flickering monitor, she knew that today would not be like that.

She sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by the familiar faces of her colleagues, clinging to their screens like lifelines in a stormy sea. The hum of the monitors, the click of the keyboards, the deep hum of the air conditioning - normally these sounds were soothing. Routine, a constant presence in a world of chaos. But today they sounded like a menacing cacophony, piercing her mind.

She took a deep breath, her hands shaking as she put on the headset. "Another day," she whispered, knowing it was a lie. It was one of those days when memories forced their way into her mind like an uninvited guest, like a noose that kept tightening

Doug.

His name was like a cold shiver running down her spine. She felt the fear rising in her stomach, the familiar tingling she had felt so often over the years. The scars on her body might have healed, but the ones inside her were deep, and today they seemed to be opening up again. She remembered his anger, the nights when she heard his footsteps echoing through the house, his soft whisper cutting into her ear like a knife. "You can't escape, Maddie. No matter how far you run."

She bit her lip until she tasted blood and forced herself to push the thought away. He wasn't here. He couldn't hurt her anymore. She was safe, she was free - at least she should be. But the voices in her head, the faint memories of his screams and the coldness in his eyes, always found their way back. Sometimes in her sleep, sometimes in quiet moments. But today - today was different. Today the shadows were closer.

Her fingertips danced over the keys as the first emergency line lit up. "911, how can I help?" her voice sounded clear, professional. Automatic. She had trained herself so well in the role that even the tremors of her soul didn't break through the facade. A man was screaming on the other end of the line. His car had crashed into a lamppost, his daughter in the back seat, motionless. Maddie responded as she always did - calm, precise, with instructions that gave the panicked voice support. "Stay calm, sir. Can you tell me if she's breathing?"

Seconds ticked by as she waited for a response, the clicks and beeps of the other consoles around her like a pulsing roar in her ears. Finally, the answer came, leaving a knot in her stomach every time. "No, she... she's not moving!"

Maddie set the emergency call chain in motion, relaying the address to the emergency services and holding the connection as the father grew more and more desperate. "She'll be fine," she heard herself say, even though she knew she should never promise something like that. But the words just came. She felt like she was suffocating while simultaneously maintaining the facade of the cool, composed professional. Minutes that felt like hours passed until finally another dispatcher confirmed that the paramedics had arrived. Only then did she let go of the line and close her eyes. But instead of relief, something darker spread - a wave of exhaustion and an overwhelming urge to cry that she suppressed with all her might.

She opened her eyes and forced herself to focus on the screens again. The flickering light blinded her, and the voices of her colleagues around her suddenly sounded far too loud. It was a sound that reminded her of the nights when Doug had screamed at her while she desperately tried to make herself small, invisible, to escape the pain. Her hands shook more and she had to wrap them tightly around the edge of the desk to keep control. Each breath felt like it was coming through thick fog and she tried to focus on it, as she had learned in therapy. But instead of finding clarity, the memories continued to rise like dark tides that pulled her underwater.

She felt like she was going to throw up. The walls of the room seemed to be closing in, the air getting thinner. As she tried to distract herself, the next call came in and Maddie put the headphones back on. "911, what's your emergency?"

Another accident. A man had fallen from a ladder and was lying unconscious on the ground. Maddie heard the sobbing voice of the wife, who could barely breathe in panic as she tried to resuscitate her husband. She forced herself to remain calm and guided the woman. Her words sounded like a computer program, carefully chosen, and for a moment she managed to maintain the facade of professionalism. But when the emergency call ended and the line was cleared, she felt the walls of the room closing in on her. She was about to collapse, and she knew it.

But she continued working, mechanically, her mind caught in a whirlpool of memory and fear. Until lunchtime.

Maddie stood in the kitchen, poking holes in her coffee cup. Her hands were shaking so much that she almost dropped the cup. As she tried to raise the hot mug to her lips, she felt her pulse racing through her veins. The warmth of the coffee did little to calm her, and the words swirling in her head drowned out the noises around her.

She couldn't stop thinking about Doug, his threatening words, his fists. He wasn't here, she kept telling herself. But it felt like he was standing right behind her, like she could feel his hand on her back.

"You can't escape, Maddie. No matter how far you run." Doug's voice came to the forefront of her mind again, cold and cutting. It was just a memory, just an echo from another time. But it felt so real, she could feel the heat of his hand on her wrist, the strength he had once held her with. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep focusing on her breathing. "Inhale... one, two, three. Exhale... one, two, three."

When she opened her eyes, she stared at her reflection in the break room window. There she was - the same woman who had had the courage to run away, who had made a new start. But today she felt like the broken woman from back then, trapped in an endless nightmare that wouldn't let her go.

Suddenly there was a loud bang next to her. The coffee machine had overheated and almost exploded with steam when someone pulled the plug. Maddie jumped violently and dropped her cup, which shattered on the floor with a loud bang. The hot coffee splashed over her hands and burned like fire. "Are you OK, Maddie?" asked Josh, her colleague and one of the few people who knew why she had come to Los Angeles in the first place. Maddie forced a smile and nodded, even though tears burned in her eyes. "Yes, everything is fine."

But nothing was fine. Not in the slightest. She could feel the walls she had built around her fear and her memories crumbling. Every phone call, every siren, every frantic movement today seemed to pull her deeper into an abyss from which there was no escape.

Back at her console, she looked at the clock. Four hours left until the end of her shift. Four hours of keeping up the facade, of saving all those lives while feeling like hers was on fire. The next call came in. A house fire, children still in the building. Maddie swallowed, forcing herself to stay calm. "I'm with you," she said, even though she felt like she was losing control at any moment.

It was like walking a tightrope - a balancing act between professionalism and inner chaos. But as she saw the clock count down another minute, she knew one thing: She could hold on.

But for how much longer?

ᕚ---ᕘ

Maddie felt the chill of the night air on her skin as she left the parking lot of the dispatch center. The path to her car blurred before her eyes as fatigue crept into her limbs. The day had drained her mentally, pushed her to her limits and beyond. Her steps were heavy, and with every meter she walked, the silence grew around her. The darkness felt like a burden today, an oppressive presence that wanted to swallow her up. Her nerves were frayed.

But when she reached your front door, the familiar facade of the house seemed like a lighthouse in a raging storm and she paused for a moment. The warm glow of the light that fell through the windows - it was her refuge. Here she could breathe. Here she could just be herself. Without the fear, without the facade that she had to maintain so often. Just like today. She felt broken, torn between the relief of being here and the fear that she might be too much, too fragile for you today.

The darkness of the night embraced her with a coldness that crept deep into her bones. She hesitated before putting the key in the lock, as if she had to find the strength to take the last step. Goosebumps ran through her body and she had to take a deep breath to remind herself that she was safe here - with you.

As soon as she opened the door, it was as if you had sensed her arrival. You were already standing in the hallway, your face etched with concern and warmth. The dim light coming from the living room enveloped her in a soft glow, and Maddie felt a rush of relief that almost overwhelmed her.

Maddie held her breath as their eyes met. "Hey," she said quietly, her voice shaky, barely above a whisper. The tears that had been burning behind her eyes all day now burst forth uncontrollably. Her whole body shook as she finally let go.

Your eyes widened, and without another word you closed the distance between you. Your arms wrapped gently around her shoulders, pulling her gently but firmly into a warm, tight embrace. The heat of your body immediately flowed into Maddie's icy limbs, and she felt the knot in her chest loosen a little. She clung to you as if you were the only anchor keeping her on the surface and buried her face in the hollow between your neck and shoulder, breathing in your favorite perfume - a mix of roses and vanilla that immediately calmed her.

Your warmth was like a protective shield that seemed to ward off the cold and darkness that had enveloped Maddie all day. "It's okay," you whispered, your hands sliding soothingly down her back, slow and loving, like waves gently lapping at the shore. "I've got you. I'm here," you held her tighter, placing a hand in Maddie's hair and gently running your fingers through the strands. Every movement was a promise: you are safe with me.

Your voice was soft and comforting, and Maddie felt her body slowly relax under the soothing touches. It was as if you were releasing each layer of her tension, one by one, with each gentle movement of your fingertips.

Maddie felt the tears running hot down her cheeks, and her whole body trembled as she clung to you tighter, as if that would protect her from the shadows of her memories. "It was such a terrible day," she gasped, her voice a strangled and trembling whisper. "I... I can't do this anymore."

Your embrace tightened, protective, as if you wanted to shield her from all the evil in the world as you rocked her gently back and forth. You gently pressed your lips to her forehead, letting them rest there for a long moment as you continued to whisper soothingly. "You don't have to go through this alone, Maddie. I'm holding you tight. You don't have to explain anything if you don't want to," you pulled her deeper into your arms, letting her feel the security she so desperately needed. "I'm not letting you go, okay? Not unless you want to."

You slowly led Maddie into the living room, not letting go of her for a moment. The touch remained constant, a gentle, unwavering promise that made her feel like she could finally breathe again. When you reached the couch, you sat down and gently pulled her onto your lap, wrapped her in a blanket and rocked her gently back and forth again as if she was the most precious thing you could hold in your arms.

"Shhh, let it all out, love," you whispered, gently wiping the tears from Maddie's cheeks. Your thumbs glided tenderly over her face, catching every tear. Maddie could see the warmth in your eyes, the infinite understanding that you saw through the pain. "You are safe here. Let go of the darkness of the past, there is only love for you here." your voice had a soft, soothing sound that wrapped protectively around her soul.

"I'm just so sick of it," Maddie whispered, feeling her voice break again. She sobbed, her hands clutching your shirt tightly. You continued to stroke her back gently, pulling her hands into your own and gently kissing each finger bone as if to soothe her. "Every time I think it's getting better, it all catches up with me again."

You felt her trying to suppress the feelings that were building up inside her. But you continued to hold her tightly, but gently, as if you wanted to show her that she wasn't alone.

You looked at Maddie with an intensity that touched her to the core. "I know, Maddie," you said, your eyes shining in the soft tone of the light as you looked deep into hers. "And I wish I could take all the pain for you. But what I can do is be here. Today, tomorrow - as long as you need me. I'll catch you as often as you need."

Your fingers gently stroked her cheeks, tracing the lines of her face as if they wanted to wipe away every trace of sorrow. You pulled her closer to you, kissed her cheek and gently brushed your lips over her ear. "You're strong, you know that? The fact that you've even come this far shows how much strength you have."

Maddie shook her head. "I feel anything but strong."

"But you are and it's okay not to feel that right now," you insisted and your hands slowly ran over her arms, your touch light as a gentle summer breeze. You felt the tremors that still ran through her body. "Let me help you," you said softly, taking a light breath, "by just being here. Today you don't have to do anything but lean on me."

Your fingertips traced her neck and shoulder before you leaned forward and pressed a soft and insistent kiss to her lips. "I want you to know that you can come to my apartment and to me whenever you need to. No matter how broken you feel, no matter how dark it gets inside you," your lips left a trace of warmth on hers again before you continued. "I am your refuge. Always."

In the silence that followed, Maddie felt lighter for the first time that day. She fell against you, completely sinking into your embrace, feeling the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the familiarity of your closeness. She could feel the rhythm of your breathing, calm and even, and it was as if that rhythm was slowly pulling her along, stabilizing her own breathing.

"Thank you," she finally whispered, as her tears stopped and only the soft pounding of her heart remained, matching your heartbeat. You smiled and laid your head against hers. "I'll always be here for you, Maddie. Because you mean everything to me." You pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, your touch so soft, as if you wanted to drive away her sorrow.

"Let's just stay here," you finally whispered after a short pause. "We're not doing anything else. Just sitting here and being together until you feel better." You pulled the blanket tighter around the both of you and wrapped her in it more tightly. "I'll take care of you."

Maddie nodded, letting the calm and the feeling of security seep into her as she let herself fall, enveloping herself in the love and warmth. She knew that the demons in her head wouldn't go away so easily, that the memories of Doug and the burden of today wouldn't disappear with a single evening.

But here, in the arms of the person she loved, she could let go. The world around her could sink into darkness, but she knew she was safe here.

And that was enough.

[bravevulnerability]

What if 3x13 happens during the 47 seconds arc?

Her knuckles are white around the steering wheel, the binoculars tossed aside in her lap. The tension in the Crown Vic is palpable, the concern for their friends and the discomfort of sitting in the small space together causing a bead of sweat to form on the back of her neck.

They're parked outside the building they traced Maddox to, where Ryan and Esposito are being held, possibly tortured. A guard stands posted outside the entrance, posture relaxed but eyes alert and ready.

"That guy'll spot a S.W.A.T team from a block away. He'll warn Maddox." Beckett sighs, chewing on her bottom lip. "They'll both be dead in seconds."

Castle is quiet beside her and she doesn't have the courage to look at him in that moment, to see his steely blue gaze not just angry with her, but further disappointed too.

"I'm open to dumb ideas here."

A shaky breath exhales from the passenger side. "Good, because I've got one. But you'll have to trust me."

Beckett turns towards him, holds his gaze. For a second, it feels normal again - not like he's replaced her with a shoddy excuse for a detective or a blonde stewardess. In the moment, they feel like partners again.

"I do."

His lips part, as if he's about to say more, but instead, his fingers close around the door handle and he's pushing it open.

"Castle," she growls, reaching for her own door.

"Just play drunk and follow my lead," he hisses, slamming the car door and circling around to her side of the vehicle in a lazy stroll.

The guard notices the second they exit the car, body shifting in their direction.

"Loosen up, lean on me," he murmurs, catching her hand and spinning her into his arms.

He makes a show of laughing loudly and she does as he instructed, staggering with a giggle into his side, snagging her fingers in his coat to keep her balance. Castle's hand is roaming her side, slipping from her shoulder to her waist, dragging her in close, and she tries to ignore the sharp flutter in her stomach.

The guard leaves his post reluctantly, approaching them with a critical eye.

"He's not buying it, Castle," she hums into his shoulder, heart beginning to pound as the guard comes closer. She keeps her smile in place while she shifts in his grasp, continuing the airy laughter even as her fingers graze her gun.

But then Castle is snatching her hand with his own, dislodging it from the piece. His fingers are smoothly moving to the small of her back, pulling her in close, while the other catches her by the cheek.

The laughter comes to an abrupt halt.

The blue of his eyes glows in the darkness of the parking lot, holding her attention as they flicker to her mouth. Her fingers are shaking as they grasp for the sides of his coat, her head nodding at its own accord when he drifts in, touches his lips to hers for the first time.

The electricity stuns her, crackling across her lips. He's tentative, his mouth soft but unmoving against hers, barely a kiss, but his hands roam her back, make a show of having her body pressed to his.

"This okay?" he mumbles, nudging his nose against her cheek, and she feels a tremble of need ripple through her.

She answers with the part of her lips, the sweep of her tongue to the seam of his mouth. Castle startles back for a moment in surprise, but his eyes slide toward the guard, and he's leaning into her, accepting the fuse of her mouth to his once more.

Her heels are high, but she still finds herself rising up, arching into him as she sucks his upper lip into her mouth, laves her tongue over the tender flesh. Castle groans, scraping at her lip with his teeth, digging his fingers into the coat at her back. Her fingers scrape through his hair, nails scorching his scalp, and he grunts into her mouth, sucks her tongue into his.

She's watching the guard, she swears she's devoting some of her attention to the guard, but she can't help the way her knees dip, the way he supports her with the thigh between her legs, the moan he drags from deep in her throat.

The low chuckle of the guard from behind Castle has her eyes fluttering open to see the other man turning away, shaking his head at them.

She sighs, hating herself for wishing he had taken a little longer to fall for the ruse, and then she's snagging the gun from her waistband. She uses her hold on Castle's shoulder and her own momentum to swing forward, knock the guard out cold.

"Holy shit," he's gasping from behind her.

She spins on her heel, finds Castle gaping at her with kiss swollen lips and wide eyes, hair disheveled and chest heaving.

"That was... a lot." Her face flushes, ears burning with heat, and he stares up at her in disbelief. "You - Kate, you didn't have to kiss me like that."

"I didn't?"

"I mean, yes, but the way you - and how you-"

"Later," she stops him, jerking her head towards the building. "The boys."

"Yeah, yes, of course," he nods, blinking furiously and trotting up alongside her as they approach Maddox's hideout.

-

Castle is hidden behind a wooden beam, crouched atop a crate of ammo as Maddox drifts into his line of sight. Rick's had his eye on Kate the entire time, ensuring that she wasn't shot amidst her exchange of fire with the sniper. She's reloading her weapon, hidden behind a beam on the opposite side of the garage, when Maddox situates himself directly below Castle, Kate in his sights. Again.

He doesn't think twice this time.

Castle leaps onto Maddox, tackling him to the ground, knocking the gun from his surprised grasp, and taking a fist to the sniper's face. Over and over and over again. Until he stops seeing Kate bleeding out underneath him.

"Castle!"

He jerks his attention to the call of his name, the sound of her voice.

His knuckles are throbbing, Maddox's face is a mess of blood, and Kate is holding out her hand to him.

"Rick," she says softer.

He releases a shaking breath and takes her outstretched hand, lets her pull him off of the sniper. The guy who tortured Ryan and Esposito, who put a bullet in her chest, upended her entire life.

The S.W.A.T team is swarming in now, shouting commands and racing to the boys, checking pulses of the men Kate took out. She draws him away, off to the sidelines as the team ascends towards Maddox's unconscious form.

"You okay?" she asks, her voice gentle. He tears his eyes away from the activity all around them and looks to her.

He flexes his fingers unthinkingly, winces. "Never better."

"Good," she whispers, nudging him towards a back entrance. He can hear the squawk of squad cars arriving outside, the siren of an ambulance. He reaches for the exit's door with his good hand to lead them out into the night, but Kate is stilling him, catching his shoulder and turning him towards her.

He doesn't have the chance to question her. Too quickly, she's stepping into him, shaking hands on his cheeks and fervent lips bruising against his own. Laying siege to his mouth and taking everything he has, and he lets her.

Castle moans quietly, burying a hand into the thick curls of her hair, clinging to her nape as her chest presses flush against his.

"I'm so sorry, Castle," she breathes, stroking his cheeks, his jaw, with her fingers. "I'm sorry for whatever I did, however I hurt you."

"Kate," he sighs, but her head is shaking, nose bumping against his, every touch of her skin like a spark lit against his own. He can't think straight, can't come up with anything to say to refuse her, can't bring himself to want to.

He's missed her so damn much.

"I just want you." The words whisper over his lips and she seals them there, dusting a kiss to his cheek, the corner of his mouth, hovering over the home of his lips.

"I love you," he mumbles, waiting for her eyes to widen in shock or shame, but she only gazes up at him, her eyes hazel and wide. "If that's not what you want, I can't-"

"It is," she swears, fierce like the kiss she places on his lips. His back is pressed against the door and he uses the leverage to spin them, her hands knotting in his hair as he seals her spine to the metal door.

Her leg curls at his thigh, possessive, and he scrapes his teeth along her jaw, her throat, sliding down the lithe line of her body until he meets the barrier of her turtleneck.

She yanks him back to her, nails scratching at his coat as she sighs into his open mouth, angles her head to deepen the kiss he fits to her lips. He can feel the wild throb of her heart, the way it accelerates when his hands steal beneath her shirt, soak in the heat radiating from her flesh.

"Uh, Detective Beckett?"

Castle tears his mouth from hers, checks over his shoulder to see a guy in a S.W.A.T uniform and a clipboard looking awkwardly between them and the floor.

"We need your statements."

"Sorry, yeah, be right there," Castle gets out, breathing totally uneven.

The guy nods and hurries off as quick as he can.

Kate groans and buries her face in his throat. Castle huffs a laugh and knocks his forehead into her temple.

"Careful, Beckett," he murmurs into her hair, dusting his lips to the hinge of her jaw. "Everyone's going to know."

Her lips part over his jugular, tongue laving over his pulse, and he gasps.

"I don't care," she says, drawing back to look at him, eyes hazy and lips red. "I just need you to know."

"Know what exactly?" he tests, pushes, but she doesn't hesitate.

"I'm in this," she says evenly, but there's a tinge of sorrow in her eyes, a mournful expression on her lips as she stares up at him. "I know there's - I know you don't want to work together anymore, but please, can I just - can I have you?"

Shit. They so need to talk. A lot. But her lashes hide her eyes as they fall to his mouth and his resolve crumbles.

"Everything?" he breathes, cradling her jaw in his bad hand, ignoring the pulsating ache reverberating through the bones.

She's nodding, leaning in to brush a whisper of a kiss over his lips like a promise. "Just want you. Just want to love you."

He kisses her once, twice, and traces his thumb over her swollen bottom lip. It's all he needs, more than enough for now.

"Come home with me tonight."

Kate grins shyly, reaches up to cradle his throbbing knuckles in the bed of her palm. "Yeah, Castle. As soon as we're done here. Let's go check on the boys and I'll wrap your hand."

She bumps his hips with her own, nudges free of his grasp, but keeps his hand cradled between both of hers.

"And thank you," she adds as she pushes open the door, spills them out into a sea of red and blue lights. "For having my back in there."

He hooks his fingers through hers, their hands a tangled mess.

"Always."

The pain in his hand is so worth it. It's all so worth it for her.

[carlos-in-glasses]

2023 Writing Round Up

Thank you for the tag @heartstringsduet @reasonandfaithinharmony @jesuisici33 @chicgeekgirl89 @thisbuildinghasfeelings @theghostofashton @orchidscript @welcometololaland @ladytessa74 @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @alrightbuckaroo

Rules: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones you're most excited about.

15 fics this year! I have loved writing and sharing every one of them. Thank you to everyone who has read or will at some point. Work is a lot busier these days, so I don’t anticipate writing the same volume in 2024…but we shall see! I just want whatever I share to be good quality, and it’s my New Year’s resolution to keep improving. I love Tarlos. I love writing Tarlos fic. I love this fandom.

January

The Ruins of Wonderland – a reimagining of TK and Carlos getting back together after their breakup. I posted this on New Year’s Day, resolving to start 2023 off on the right fanfic foot.

Chasers – A coda for 3x13. TK talks to Cooper about his past, while Carlos goes for a swim and thinks about his own. When Carlos gets home, he and TK have an important chat. The rection to this fic spurred me on to continue writing in the flashback/vignette/timeline format.

February

Man to Man – A coda for 2x11 and 2x12, which also looks at Carlos coming out to his parents and where he is now with it all.

March

Afterglow of a Supernova – When fiancés TK and Carlos help Carlos’ high school crush and his wife during a call, they end up having a dinner with them that leads to jealousy in an unexpected way. The feedback I’ve had on this fic sent me to the moon on rainbows.

April

The Heart Behind the Shield – My first chaptered fic! I'd been wanting to write a 2x08 coda, but it was 4x04 that made it possible. This combines events from both episodes where there’s duality, and was an absolute blast to write and post.

The Light of Our Life – Listen, I wrote this during an extended lunch break and posted it the same day. For somehow it’s my fifth most kudos’d fic of the year…Thank you!!! We were all deep in our Lou II feelings at this time. Never forget.

Fire Island – TK and Carlos travel to Fire Island, where an older gay couple talks to them about their experience of the AIDS crisis in 1980s New York. This fic by far had the most emotional impact on me while writing it, and based on feedback it seems to be the same for readers(?) People have shared personal stories and memories with me since I posted this, and I just want to say I’m truly grateful for the response, given I wrote it in January but didn’t feel brave enough to post it for a few months.

May

With Infinity Folded Into It – Written for the @tarlosweeklyprompts Countdown to the Wedding event (prompt was: Love). After TK proposes, Carlos remembers the first time they said “I love you.” It’s fluff, it’s smut, it’s kinda angsty because Carlos is trying to bake and baking is stressful.

The Center of the Maze – Another written for Tarlos Weekly Prompts Countdown to the Wedding. (Prompt: "I Never Thought I Would Get This Day".) I thought this was going to be a 2k one-shot; it turned into 20k split into 4 chapters… Seven times they thought they would never get married, and one time when they actually did. I was super inspired and happy with the writing in this one.

June into July

When Soulmates Swim – The closest I’ll ever come to writing a sports AU (….or is it?👀…) Sparks and splashes fly when TK and Carlos each take up swimming while they recover from workplace injuries. I really pushed myself with smut and humour in this fic and the feedback I’ve had has been incredible. One of the most enjoyable writing experiences I’ve ever had, this fic holds a special place in heart.

Release The Hand to Relax the Animal – TK and Carlos explore the world of tantric massage in their own way. Written because Rafael Silva has madly attractive hands, and @heartstringsduet and I thought we should celebrate. You can read Michelle’s hands fic, Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life, Too, here. It is BEAUTIFUL.

(Nothing in August)

September

Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines – A 3x08 coda, which also gets into TK and Carlos’ childhood memories of 9/11, and the way that event went on to impact their lives (to the point where it set them on the path to meeting each other). It recieved the most amazing comments, with people sharing their memories of 9/11, so like Fire Island this fic feels deeper to me in a social way.

October

Suddenly in the Silence – I’d ‘joked’ about the show giving us Ghost Gabriel in season 5, but a conversation with thisbuildinghasfeelings led me to explore that concept myself. In this fic, it’s up to the reader to decide whether they think the spirit of Gabriel is around, which made writing it challenging but a lot of fun. It’s so interesting to see what side people fall on!

November

Where All This Love Comes From – This is my Tarlos novel at ~90k words, due to finish posting in February. I began writing it in March, when a hefty amount of plot relied on Gabriel being alive after season 4. Substantial rewrites happened after May, which was pretty gutting at the time, but ultimately I think this has ended up being the best thing I’ve written so far in my life.

December

There is a smutty one-shot coming with a scream very soon…And I hope you like it!

I'm not sure who has already done this - tagging with no pressure if you want to share/haven't already - and open tag!

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @goodways @lemonlyman-dotcom @paperstorm @wandering-night19 @heartstringsduet @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @rmd-writes @rosedavid @chaotictarlos @lightningboltreader @taralaurel @three-drink-amy @redshirt2 @noxsoulmate @sanjuwrites @bonheur-cafe @liminalmemories21

❤️🩷🧡💛❤️🩷🧡💛

[imminent-danger-came]

https://www.tumblr.com/acoraxia/751189590385328128/i-do-want-to-like-macaque-but-the-way-the-only?source=share

I feel like this post is wrong, and not just bc I love macaque, just the shadowpeach relationship and the parallels they provide to other relationships and macaque parallels to other characters feels like such a vital part to lmk as a whole. But I'm not good at words, so asking for your imput

I don't want to, like, "gossip" behind anyone's back or anything, so I'll open this up to a discussion with @acoraxia! Hello, how are you, I hope you're having a good day.

(Here's the post if others are interested in readin' it!)

Now, I love Macaque, and I think he's one of the most important characters in the show. I presume "theater kid antics" is referring to Macaque's dramatic nature, but I'd hardly call that his defining characteristic. Macaque is a loser: he's spiteful, he's selfish, he's cowardly, he's paranoid, he's god awful at communication, he's obsessive (particularly over Wukong)...but we've also seen the ways he can put the world/others above himself (3x13, 3x14, 4x10, 4x14), and how he's capable of self-reflection and overcoming his past hurt/hatred ("Wukong was on a path of self-destruction...we all were"). We're, dare I say, at a point now where I'd even call Macaque reliable, in his own way. He'll show up for MK & Wukong, he'll "stick his neck out" for them, and I'm honestly so proud that he chose to stay till the end in 4x14 (versus his choice to run in 3x10). It's wild to me that he's the only 3 of the monkeys who has actually had a positive character arc, but that's just where we're at currently.

I think the claim that you could "remove him from the story and it wouldn’t change much" is greatly downplaying Macaque's role and importance to Wukong, both narratively/thematically and as a character. DBK and Wukong weren't close, but for Macaque, Wukong was his entire world. He (along with Wukong's fear of mortality) was the reason the great Monkey King reached for power in the first place. Both DBK and Azure had their own goals outside of Wukong (not that DBK particularly cared for SWK anyways)—what's important about Macaque as a character is that his motivation and loyalty was only for Wukong, and not towards any greater purpose or goal. Macaque and MK are very similar in that way: neither of them have lofty aspirations, and they are completely content with "quitting while they're ahead" ("Why didn't he just stop, right here? He was already so much stronger than anyone ever needed to be" ; "You're the one who wouldn't quit while we were ahead!"). Both hate change, and both have been hurt by their belief in Wukong.

I'm admittedly a bit...I guess confused, by this opinion, as entire episodes (1x09, 2x07, 3x04, 4x10, 4x11) are centered around Macaque and his relationship to both Wukong and MK. Macaque is there to show us the ways in which Wukong has both abandoned and hurt the ones he loves; he's a very important foil to both MK and Mei, as well as other characters like Azure. That's Monkie Kid's main theme right, the fact that you'll hurt your loved ones and they'll hurt you, but you love and care about them anyways (I have a whole tag around lmk's hurt/pain theme, for those interested).

Let's look at a few examples of this, particularly involving Macaque, Wukong, Mei, and MK:

Macaque: "Come on! Show me the real Sun Wukong! The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me, but you're scared of hurting some kid? Pathetic!"

(1x09 Macaque)

-

Sun Wukong: "STOP! If you hurt that kid I'll-" Macaque: "-What. Make things worse for MK?"

(3x09 The King, the Prince, and the Shadow)

-

Mei: "Time and time again I've watched you put MK in danger leaving him to figure out EVERYTHING on his own. Don't you realize you're hurting the people who care about you the most?"

(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

-

MK: "Until I know what I am, what my destiny is? I can’t risk hurting the people I care about—the ones I have left."

(4x08 The Brotherhood)

-

(the 3x10 and 4x08 ones are direct parallels in particular, which I know I never shut up about them, but they're so, so important to understand for the Monkey's (+ Mei) arcs.)

In seasons 3 and 4, both MK and LBD have posited that no matter what you do, whether or not what you think you're doing is right, it all leads "to pain". That's an extremely consistent thread throughout the entirety of the show, going as far back as 1x01 ("Whenever I try to do anything, I just gunk everything up!" -> "No matter what I do, it’s going to lead to pain [...] it doesn’t matter if I want to help people or not! Everything I do just- it just makes things worse!"). While Wukong never wanted to hurt his loved ones (for the sweet sweet "This isn't what I wanted!" Azure parallel), he did. He's a very flawed Monkey, but he does try and he has changed for the better, and that's what's important, right? That's something even Macaque has understood by the s4 special ("Monkey King really was a bad guy?" "That's what I believed...what Azure would have you believe. Then, he met him: the monk.")

You can't really...pawn-off Macaque's role onto other people. Structurally, we needed a tragic best-friend character who was deeply wounded by Wukong in the past, who has then come to accept/forgive him (for the most part, give-or-take). That way, you can have someone who has seen/experienced Wukong's flaws then defend him, both for MK's sake and in contrast to Azure having a literal world-ending breakdown over (his crush on) Wukong. DBK can't be that character, Azure can't be that character, and the Mayor is a much weaker antagonist for s3, unable to provoke MK + the main gang in quite the same way—as well as being completely removed from the themeing and Wukong's hero/warrior dynamic.

Macaque, as demonstrated in 2x07, views the "hero" as someone who leaves, someone who abandons their friends to the shadows. MK completely up ends that world-view in 3x10, refusing to abandon Mei "when she needs" him ("We're heroes! It's what we do!"). It's literally one of my favorite scenes in the whole show, and it completely hinges on Macaque being there and then leaving (much like Macaque's arc hinges on Mei being the fourth ring).

I'm just like...I personally can't imagine a version of lmk where Macaque isn't there to be a foil to both MK and Wukong. I rewatched Shadow Play just yesterday, and that episode is so delightful, let me tell you:

"Welcome, viewers, to a shadow play the likes of which have never been seen! It follows the tragic tale of a legendary Warrior, and how those who bring light into this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear..."

Ah you mean like...hurting the people you care about the most, perchance.

2x07 parallels 4x02, especially between the shadow-lamp itself and the scroll—while Wukong's MIA, Macaque regales his memories of Wukong, imprisoning MK's friends and forcing MK to fight "dark" versions of them? Sound familiar?

(familiar tales...new adventures...)

Which, that's a bit of a tangent, but I do think it demonstrates the ways in which Macaque is important to the foundation of this story. MK and Wukong, Wukong and Macaque, MK and Mei...those are the core dynamics of the show for me, you know. If Macaque wasn't there, I quite honestly don't know where we'd be

[herefortarlos]

hey desi! it's nice ask week, i hope you're well and don't mind me coming into your inbox :)

what's your favorite lone star episode?

who is your all time comfort character?

what's your favorite song/album right now?

Hello my sweetest, Rachel 💖!! Sweetie, the day I mind you coming into my inbox will be the day I am no longer a pansexual liberal, so not a chance of that ever happening 😂.

Ohh why would you ask me that!! Okay, favorite overall Lone Star episode, and not just for 1 or 2 scenes, has to be 3x13 "Riddle of the Sphynx". That episode just gave us sooo much good Tarlos! We got supportive and jealous/sassy and then understanding Carlos. We got TK attending meetings and doing what he has to do to take care of himself! We got so much tarlos physical affection and that amazing dining table scene!! I recently watched that episode again and that scene blows me away every time, Ronen and Rafa acted their butts off! We get tarlos communicating, even if it's messy communication at first, and so many iconic lines!! "It feels like he's getting pieces of you that I don't" "You don't want those pieces" "I do, I want all of it" "You have all of me, Carlos." Just throw me off a bridge why don't you 🥲, and it's one of the few episodes where I know all the tarlos dialogue word for word. @heartstringsduet are you proud of me 😊. Then TK being affected in the field and being depressed about his own mom, looking at photos telling Carlos, "I'd give anything to feel like that again", and Carlos realizes he is in way over his head and that this isn't about him, it's about TK and what he needs so Carlos gets over that insecurity and reaches out and makes sure TK has the support he needs 🥹 And then the infamous "I love you" with TK "Heart Eyes" Strand and Carlos' understanding "I know." Every tarlos scene in this from beginning to end of episode is amazing and impactful and leaves me an emotional mess every time I watch it 💖

who is your all time comfort character?

All time comfort character you ask? 🤔 After thinking about all the fandoms I've enjoyed and been a part of over the years, please don't come at me for saying the obvious of TK 😅. He's the first live action character that I have loved this much, and there are so many reasons for that! One of the biggest being how he has been through so much hardship in his life but he is so unselfish and sees the best in people and still has so much love to give!! He is sunshine personified but he is still very much a real person with flaws and baggage, but he is constantly working to take care of himself and be a better person! I've had similar, not exact of course, experiences in my own life and have come out the other side better for it! It took a lot of time of course and I needed to be in a place where I had the power to make my own decisions and I love that about TK too, that the show constantly shows that his decisions to get better have ultimately been his own! And him being an openly gay character who is proud of his sexuality was primarily what drew me to him and the show in the first place 🥰

what's your favorite song/album right now?

Ohh always love a music question! Haha and probably not what you're expecting but my favorite album lately has been Bo Burnham's "Inside (Deluxe)" edition. It's such a fantastic special and I watched the deleted scenes not too long ago and have not been able to stop listening to "Five Years". The chorus is so damn catchy and I wish it was longer and the line "Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around" makes me laugh every time 🤣.

[elizadushkudaily]

Faith Masterlist!

October 1998 - May 2003 | Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Eliza Dushku plays Faith Lehane - full 26 episode masterlist below! All episodes are from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BTVS) unless they are from Angel (noted with ATS).

This was Eliza's first TV show role. Faith Lehane is a charismatic working-class Slayer from Boston, who befriended Buffy.

You can also find this by season in the Faith Lehane posters.

Masterlist: 3x03 Faith Hope and Trick 3x04 Beauty and the Beasts 3x05 Homecoming 3x07 Revelations 3x10 Amends 3x13 The Zeppo 3x14 Bad Girls 3x15 Consequences 3x16 Doppelgangland 3x17 Enemies 3x19 Choices 3x21 Graduation Day Part 1 3x22 Graduation Day Part 2 4x15 This Year’s Girl 4x16 Who Are You? 1x18 Five by Five [ATS] 1x19 Sanctuary [ATS] 2x01 Judgment [ATS] 4x13 Salvage [ATS] 4x14 Release [ATS] 4x15 Orpheus [ATS] 7x18 Dirty Girls 7x19 Empty Places 7x20 Touched 7x21 End of Days 7x22 Chosen multi [multiple episodes]

Some multi tagged gifs are also tagged with each individual episode.

In case you haven't seen these shows: On Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BTVS) a young woman (Buffy) deals with her life fighting evil, with the help of her friends. On the spin-off Angel (ATS) a cursed vampire (Angel) aids people while questing for his own redemption. (credit to IMDB)

All gif credit to @starryeyesxx! - crawl (BTVS S4) thanks to starryeyesxx - behind bars (ATS S1) thanks to starryeyesxx - (left) blue uniform (ATS S4) thanks to starryeyesxx - (right) good slayer now? (BTVS S7) thanks to starryeyesxx

[shelma32entertainment]

The Good Place | 3x13 | Pandemonium | REACTION

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Top 10 Tarlos Scenes in Season 3 Results

I think this was probably the hardest season to narrow down to 10 scenes! I saw that sentiment repeated quite a bit in the tags, as well. However, I was pretty sure I knew which scene would come in first place, and I was right: the proposal! Voted for by 97% of people, and for good reason! It's my personal favorite of season 3. I don't think I've ever in my life watched any single scene as many times as I've watched the proposal scene.

In second place was the Push coma wake up, another amazing scene. This was the only one that I thought might have a chance of challenging the proposal for the top spot. It was fairly close but actually not as close as I thought it would be...90% of people voted for this scene.

I was happy to see another of my very favorite scenes in third place, the tarmac reunion from 3x08, voted for by 77% of people. The way Carlos just crashes into TK and almost knocks him off his feet 😭

I think one of the reasons season 3 was so difficult to narrow down was because of 3x13. SO MANY Tarlos scenes in that episode and they're all so good! But if you pick all of them, it uses up half of your 10!

And we also got the incredible comedy of Tarlos and Lou in 3x15...3 more great scenes!

It's really unfair to make people choose only 10 season 3 scenes, so I'm sorry for doing that to all of you!

Here's how the rest of the votes played out:

Again, thank you everyone for voting!! Just one more poll to go to determine the top 10 Tarlos episodes of all time (so far)! I'll post the final poll later today.

[reyesstrand]

top tarlos scenes

thanks for the breakdown @rosedavid @alrightbuckaroo @strandnreyes @fitzherbertssmolder <3 this was fully the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do and i’m sure i’ll remember one later i would’ve wanted here and i 1000% cheated during this but :-) here we go, in no particular order:

2x04: “i don’t care, okay? as long as you need”

i was going to start of with the police station scene (which got me to watch the show) or the 1x10 firehouse hug, but this scene still feels so important. nevermind the fact that there were sooo many emotions going into this episode after the “are we breaking up?” promo, this scene is one that proves that although they’ve come so far in their communication skills, the foundation of love and support has been there since the beginning. i love tk not apologizing for his little bitch outburst because deep down he does want everyone to know he’s carlos’ boyfriend, and i love him adding that while he isn’t sorry, he does need to acknowledge safety in relationships and how carlos’ experience differs from his own. i also love that this showed tk not caring how long it might take for carlos to be comfortable, while also telling him nothing stays the same (and essentially becoming the catalyst for carlos to bring these different facets of his life together, and for him to live authentically with everyone. tk becoming the KEY THAT UNLOCKED CARLOS so early on, especially given the context of s4, is so good).

3x04: breathe, breathe, breathe

everyone includes push and you know what….it’s what she deserves. this culmination of a weeks-long arc that was done so beautifully it felt monumental, and seeing the way they choose each other and choose love, seeing the way they fight for each other, seeing the way tk literally is moments out of having a breathing tube down his throat and is telling carlos to breathe, seeing the way carlos just collapses on tk and tk holds him close….insane. beautiful. them coming home and celebrating with the rest of the 126 at the push-in ceremony too is just the cherry on top of a stunning episode.

3x05/4x18: middle of the night comfort

i’m putting them together because i can’t choose and nobody can make me. just these two instances of tk seeking carlos out in the middle of the night in such different contexts makes my heart ache. the fact that carlos is instantly comforted by tk’s presence both times. the fact that tk can pass out on carlos’ arm and snuggle up with him while he solves a kidnapping case. the fact that carlos doesn’t even need to say the words about postponing the wedding and tk reassures him and promises he’s not going anywhere. so so so good. (going to put my honourable mention(s) here of just….every little moment of love that speaks the loudest—them touching and showing small acts of intimacy and domesticity—because they mean the world).

3x13: all of it…but specifically the dinner scene and the photo album scene

this whole episode is one i could rewatch a hundred times and cry every time. it’s so beautifully written and acted and you feel each character have an oh moment (carlos’ regarding his place in tk’s recovery and how it doesn’t change his value, and tk’s regarding his personal knowledge he’s going to marry this man) which i love. the dinner scene is one of the most pivotal to their relationship, and coupled with the photo album scene, their vulnerabilities and enduring love for each other get to come out and be explored. this episode truly puts into perspective how the vows they speak nearly a full season later are just verbalizations of how they’ve cared for and loved each other all along.

4x02/4x16: soulmateism

both of these scenes (4x02’s “probably the day i met you” and 4x16’s “hi, you’re tk, i’m carlos, and we’re soulmates”) changed the trajectory of my life. i wish i was kissing. i still do double-takes when i see gifs, like….we actually got these? they said these things to each other? “dude”? not one but two uses of “baby” from carlos? the way they’ve saved each other and had these big feelings since the very beginning? the way both scenes confirm things about their pasts and the bits we didn’t see if their early relationship and proving that tk only ran because he was feeling these big things, same as carlos, and was terrified? the way carlos uses jokes at bad times as a coping mechanism before he literally spits some heartfelt poetic lines? these scenes truly function as a pair in my heart and i can’t choose between them so!

honourable mentions: proposal(s), the entirety of the wedding including cut scenes, carlos bringing home lou 2, 4x04 with tk working with gabriel to save carlos and using narcan on him and carlos telling trudy gwyn’s love flows through him, and 3x08 with carlos’ first on-screen i love you/going to get them some food (FOOD AS A LOVE LANGUAGE!!)/the tarmac hug

no pressure tagging @carlos-in-glasses @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @paperstorm @chaotictarlos @marjansmarwani @morganaspendragonss @lutavero @sunshinestrand @unstatedmartini

[sibylsleaves]

Okay 3 replies in 1 lol

1. Thank you for confirming buck never told taylor it was lucy he cheated with LMAO I literally thought I was going crazy… im working it into my belief system that her being able to do that stems from her top notch reporter skills which is why Im like taylor kelly needs to be studied. (Also when I was writing the minor character part I was also thinking of defend in place!! So weird to me how the minor character focus worked so well in some instances and not others. And its also why I wished they did more with claudette. She was so good in 5x08/5x16)

2. I have seen s6 and I can now confirm that before this past week I had seen the whole series except 5x07-5x09 and 5x14-5x18 (id seen like clips and gifs of a lot of it but not whole episodes and arcs). But I am going to be moving on to s6 and would love to dump any thoughts I had somewhere if you were interested in reading :) 6b did radicalize me re:buddie canon (or, s6 lit the fuse and s7 blew my whole world up) and I actually quite liked s6 outside some of the denny bio dad plot and bucktalia eddisol stuff so Im actually really excited rewatch

3. Episodes of all time. Okay to preface this I am not the kind of person who will re watch / re read things several times over. Like usually I need years between watches (hence why this is my first time rewatching the show in whole. When the first time I watched through/binged was between s3/4). And while there are some episodes I really really enjoy they are just not the kind of episodes that stick with me in a way where I would re watch them any time any place, which is why the list ends up being exclusive lol. So my rewatch any time list would probably be: 2x06, 4x06, 4x13/14 (always watch together), 5x16 (yay), 6x14. Maybe 5x11 Im still deciding. Bubble on that list (pending re watch) would probably be 6x06, 6x12, 7x01, 7x06. And then episodes of all time would be like all those plus like the classics. Worst day ever/point of origin. Chimney begins/fight or flight. Tsunami arc. Taking of dispatch. Boston. Maybe step nine.. I love a bobbysode. So kinda basic maybe but they are special to me (especially 6x14 … if dosed and jinx and survivors didnt exist maybe my favorite ep of the whole series…). I also really love 2x04, 2x18, 3x01, 3x12, the madney plot specifically in 3x13, 4x07, and 5x14, but they all kinda just miss the rewatch list cut for me. ALSO very special re watch exception for 3x10 when Im in the holiday spirit. Yay buck making gingerbread houses with denny and chris

6b also radicalized me, anon. although i'll be honest i found much of 6a highly boring. i've gone back to rewatch MAYBE two of those episodes ever?? I did just rewatch Tomorrow.

6x14 is such an underrated episode. I truly adore it as well!! Ravi!!!!! and 4x07, also such a fave.

these are some solidly good episodes!!

[paperstorm]

Since we're in the 3.13 feels I've read this very interesting discourse about this episode and i've been wondering about it a lot and i'm really hoping for your opinion on it because I love your blog so much and the way you explain things. https://www.tumblr.com/funfairofgames/711514669820575744/i-feel-like-in-the-whole-tk-should-have-let

I have seen that before and I for sure agree with funfairofgames' addition. Listen we can go back and forth forever with one of them should have worded this or that differently etc but as much as therapy language and strategies are good for helping people improve their communication styles, not every conflict or argument or disagreement is going to play out like it's a reenactment of Proper Conflict Resolution at a corporate HR meeting. People are gonna come in hot or say things they don't mean or word things badly or get defensive etc and it doesn't negate the validity of their feelings if they do any of those things. People aren't robots. So yeah, TK was a little bit defensive. He could have worded his thoughts in a better and more productive way. But the context of that scene is that he's walking into a house where his partner is being frosty to him and he literally doesn't have any idea why because Carlos won't talk to him (a very, very core character trait of Carlos's, extended into S4 as we now know). People aren't mind readers and it's unfair to expect them to be and then punish them when they aren't. I love 3x13 so much because it finally shows Carlos stumbling in a way we hadn't seen before. Up until that point he was a bit two-dimensional, he was sort of the perfect flawless boyfriend, presented as the steady counterpart to TK's traumas and chaos where even his slip-ups (not telling his parents about them, buying the loft ,etc) were somewhat presented by the narrative as actually being TK's fault (or if they weren't entirely TK's fault, the plot in the end became about how TK reacted to them, not about what Carlos had done in the first place.) But someone like that isn't a fully realized character. I love that we got to see Carlos be insecure, have an ego, be a little selfish, react to it all with passive aggression that wasn't fair. When its all boiled down, Carlos was wrong in that episode. He was valid in his hurt feelings, but he was still wrong. I love that we got to see him learn that and make the adjustment and become a better partner.

[kiloskywalker]

I am now curious about what your favorite Tarlos scene is.

I knew you were going to ask me this question, and I was still not prepared. So you get a crazy rambling answer from the Flight Crew Lounge at the San Francisco Airport as I'm waiting to go back to DC. So be prepared.

There are literally so many moments that it's almost impossible to choose, I know everyone probably says this but I mean it. But if I had to narrow it down, I would definitely say a similar answer to you. My favorite scene is when Carlos finds TK on the couch looking at photo albums after his bad call and his subsequent choice to blow off his meeting. I read a really good fic from Carlos's perspective that was a coda to this episode (right after Carlos leaves the loft at the end) and kind of wrote about my thoughts in a comment, so this is it expanded. The fic is called "This Love We Carry" and its by @thevenstar, you can find it here, I highly recommend it.

I liked the episode from a Carlos characterization too. I'm gonna preface this by saying that I read a lot into characters and between the lines when it comes to dialogue and I'm sure that I interpreted certain moments and scenes differently than others, but that is the point of writing and discussion. Throughout the season its seemed as though he has an innate desire to help people in any way. We saw this too in 2x08 when he makes the risky choice to let the man with the bomb go, but we saw it a lot this season with his desire to help TK (and more importantly keep him safe). Carlos loves TK so much that he wants to keep him safe in as many ways as he can (honestly who can blame him!), and gets upset if he cannot do so and IMHO we saw this in three big instances that I can pull off the top of my head:

1x08 he's visibly upset and crying while visiting TK in the hospital after he was shot.

2x08 there's a close up shot of him holding TK after the EMS crew was rescued. The one where you can see TK's head kinda droop and it looks like he's passing out a bit, but Carlos has what I can describe as a kind of scared/empty look in his eyes. I interpreted it as being genuinely scared for what could have happened.

2x12 after the fire when he's trying to keep a straight face after the fire and eventually lets go, apologizing for not having a fire extinguisher in the bedroom

3x08 in several places: (a)-Carlos wishes he could make everything better (take away TK's pain) (b)-the reunion hug at the airport, most notably when Carlos says "I kept thinking, I'm the one that put him on the plane" *** (we'll come back to this later)

3x12 his first thought after hearing about Sadie being the baddie was to find TK, only to try and get to him but to also pass out as well *** (we'll come back to this as well)

3x13 the entire episode (see below lol)

I'm sure there's more but that's all that I can think about in my head right now. But anyway, we've established that Carlos has a desire to keep people (mostly TK) safe. And I think that to some extent, he harbors some guilt about the times that he has failed to do so namely: not having a fire extinguisher in their bedroom so they are trapped in a horrible situation where they almost die in their own home, putting him on a plane that then has a mechanical emergency and having to watch helplessly from the ground, not realizing soon enough that Sadie was in fact a crazy person who assaulted the both of them in there own home again (etc)... 3x13 was such a wake-up call for him. It was the first time that he truly had to deal with the consequences of TK's addiction, not to mention his other issues (I'm positive at this point TK's grief has morphed into a depression of some sort, its quite common). These issues are so much more different than what he's used to and cannot necessarily be solved by something as simple as keeping extra up-to-date fire extinguishers in every room. You can tell that Carlos sort of doesn't really know what to do, so he reverts to being the normal, loving, sweet, caring partner he's always been for TK. In fact, he says things like "I know I haven't been in the program, but if there's anything that you want to get off your chest..." And then there's the whole business with Cooper, TK's sponsor.

I definitely do not think Carlos is jealous. I mean, it felt like the writers tried to do that for a little bit during the time where Carlos first met Cooper (that whole scene was pretty funny actually), but I think everything changed on that end when Carlos woke up in the middle of the night to find TK in the living room on the phone with him, and then subsequently their "dinner" discussion (you framed it as not a fight--which I agree with). There definitely is a part of Carlos that's jealous, not because TK is hanging out with someone who's really handsome (Carlos doesn't care about that part there's a whole line about it: "You know he's straight right?" "Why does that matter?"), but rather he's jealous of the fact that there is someone who TK feels is actually able to help him who isn't his boyfriend who loves him more than anything else in the world and just wants to keep him safe (there's another line about that as well: "I just feel like he's getting parts of you that I'm not getting). Side note: this also leads into my favorite Tarlos lines (outside of TK's proposal):

Carlos: I just feel like he's getting parts of you that I'm not getting. TK: You don't want those parts. Carlos: I do! I want all of it. TK: You have all of me Carlos. Carlos: Do I? TK: Yes! UGH SO GOOD. Anyway, up to this point, 3x13 felt like an exploration of Carlos's inner anxiety telling him that TK finally realized that Carlos couldn't protect him and thus he found someone who could. You can actually see him come to that realization when he says "I'm not enough, you mean." when TK is telling him about how he needs people in his life who have been in the trenches with their own addictions who can help in ways that Carlos can't. TK, bless his heart, is trying to tell Carlos that there are definitely times when he won't be able to help in all the ways he can, and that Carlos has to trust that TK knows how to get help when he needs it.

Okay *phew*, we've spent all that time explaining the background now its time for me to (finally) answer the question originally asked: why is the scene above my favorite? Carlos sees TK in pain and he isn't truly getting the help that he talked about needing. He didn't go to his meeting, he didn't call his sponsor. He's just choosing to listen to his sad boi playlist (I assume) and let the depression consume him. Carlos has finally come to the realization that by calling Cooper himself (even after running a background check), he IS helping TK in the way that TK himself has said he needs it. I think that realization is beautiful in a way, he's recognizing that TK has chosen to get help and fight the battles he needs to fight because he wants to get better and Carlos calling Cooper reaffirms that he knows TK was making a choice and that he respects that choice and need to get better. I think after this scene, the boys were truly in the strongest place they could have been, especially after the tumultuous relationship they've had and the traumas they've been through. I'm sorry this turned into an essay. I honestly love Tarlos so much and can talk literal volumes about them as you can tell. Trust me.