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peachyunjinnie · 4 years ago

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— 03. https://sugarbaby.com | bgc

bang chan/reader/ ― ft. hyunjin | angst (?), comedy (?) | sugarbaby!au mafia!au

wordcount: 1k

content warnings: mention of amnesia, chocking, gagging, handcuffs and lee know is an asshole and he nearly fought with changbin- sORRY.

― synopsis: through your urgent and acute need for any kind of financial income, you see the ad of a sugarbaby website. you decide to overcome your pride and hit ‘sign up’.

note: i hope you can enjoy it a little bit! next part is out on saturday or sunday again.

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ɪɴᴅᴇx: ― one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine

I noticed the instant sentiment and need to sleep. The strong urge to not sleep whatever happens was keeping me up but after a good 20 seconds, I was out and gone.

“Is she dead?” I heard through my amnesic state of mind.

“Don’t say things like that, Jeongin!”

“She looks dead though, she looks...sick.”

“Changbin is kind of right. She looks like a corpse.”

“Could you two stop talking about her, right in front of her?”

“Han, does she or does she not look like a dead body? You’ve seen enough to tell.”

“Okay, she kind of does, but you two don’t have to do this right here and now...”

“Han is right, she is under Nitrous Oxide.”

“Nitro- what?”

“Nitrous Oxide. An inhaled gas that causes a decrease in anxiety has some analgesic effect, which means that it can help decrease pain. She is now experiencing temporary amnesia, which means she won’t remember what happened during the time she was breathing the Nitrous Oxide. Also known as ‘laughing gas’ or ‘happ-“

“Seungmin, I asked what it is. Not a whole Wikipedia page.”

“Leave Minnie alone, he just wanted to help you Lee Know.”

“And I could’ve lived without that whole paragraph Jeongin.”

“Lee Know, don’t be so goddamn mean to everyone.”

“Did I hurt your feelings, Changbin?! Aw, I am so sorry! I apologize deeply! Tch.”

“Let’s talk about this outside-”

“Changbin, Calm down.”

“Could you all shut up? She is waking up.”

The voices in my head appeared louder and clearer, the echoing sounds giving me a dizzy feeling. Everything was black and my eyes were being closed by a blindfold. The voices arguing what they should do with me now. I noticed how I couldn't move either, handcuffs cutting bruises into my sore wrists. But a thing I noticed too was also that they didn't gag me at all, or put duck tape over my mouth.

"HELP ME! HELP! PLEAS-" A hand pushed a cloth inside my mouth, stuffing it forcefully. I tried my best to bite his hand but it left my mouth quickly. The rush I felt at that moment became unendurable. All of the voices stopping and one next to my ear, violently snapping at my throat and yanking my hair.

“If you dare to fucking scream again, I'm gonna sew up your mouth. Kitty” He whispered against my cheek. I could hear a smirk at the end of the sentence. I didn’t dare to do anything else again and kept my body down.

How can you trust someone who kidnaps you? How do I classify him whether he would really sew my mouth shut or not? Simple answer, I can't. I'd rather shut my mouth before it may never open it again. Mute tears of panic and fear formed in my eyes, wetting the blindfold. Silent sobs of terror were heard and mumbling went around the room. I could hear sentences like 'Lee Know you're making her cry' and 'Chan's gonna kill you'.

“Ah come on, this girly girl needs to be quiet.”

“But you’re scaring her with your words. Stop it Minho.” The authority in the voice of the man was reminded of a teacher or a father.

“I’m sorry but that dress and her body...Wow, she’s hot.”

“Felix, could you maybe at least try to keep your testosterone down?”

“Changbin, it is clear to see. She is hot.”

“Does Chan really need to claim her? She could be all of our little girl.”

“Lee Know, you are by far the most perverted, obnoxious, insensitive asshole I know.”

“Thank you very much for this title, I feel very honored, Seungmin.”

“What will we do with her now?” Shivers running up and down my spine, my head spinning in circles and my breath becoming more hesitant.

“You will do nothing. I will.” Loud footsteps in the room were audible from everywhere. Confusing my already poor sense of orientation. Until I could only hear single steps coming closer to me.

“Hello, darling.”

“Fht-dj,.” I muffled out and tried to form a sentence. But as said I tried and failed at my attempt, sadly. He took the damp cloth out of my mouth.

“Who are you?”

“Excuse me, where are my manners. I am Chan or Christopher. Sir to you. I am the head of this mafia group and I want to help you with your financial income, Alice.”

“Alice..? I asked and forgot that my username on that website was Alice.

“Isn’t that your name?” He tilted his head and was obviously confused.

“I will tell you my name if you take off this blindfold and the handcuffs.”

“Ah-Ah, no deals. I am in charge of this place here. Everyone listens and respects my commands. Don’t make me show you why they do.”

“I would risk it. Take off that blindfold or else-”

“Aw, you’re trying to threaten me. How cute.”

He took off this blindfold and I could finally see a light. I couldn't tell how long I was sleeping but this burn in my eyes from the lamplight was the absolute worst. My eyes could not get used to the bright light. With a short second, it became easier and I saw the outline of his face, his heart-shaped face, his blond hair, his cocoa-colored eyes, and his bulky nose. How he leaned against the table and looked down at me from above.

“Like what you see, Babygirl?” He smirked out, exposing his dimples.

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obsidianfr3sk · 4 years ago

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Rise of the Renegades (Chapter 8)

Summary: Heroes come from the most unexpected places. Heroes sometimes feel a little too different, a little too scared, a little too alone. But heroes also know when enough is enough, and that before saving the world, they need to save themselves. And they cannot do it alone.

They were going to be the hope of the world. They were going to call themselves the Renegades. Even if they didn’t know it yet.

AO3 Link

Hi!! I honestly didn’t expected to update today, but here we are:’) I hope you enjoy this chapter!! If someone wants to be added or remove from the tag list, tell me haha.

Tag list: @nodrianbcyes @dawniebb @healing-winston-pratt @cerenoya @ marissagustrerbenson

Getting cold hands?

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,

and how you suffered for your sanity,

and how you tried to set them free.

They would not listen, they did not know how;

perhaps they'll listen now.

Simon

“YOU DID WHAT?”

Hugh put his hand over his mouth to shut him up and Simon felt his cheeks turn red when he realized a couple of older boys had turned to see why the hell he was yelling. Their faces contorted in disgust and continued with their chat.

Because prodigies were disgusting.

He immediately regretted his decision to come back to school.

Hugh removed his hand from his mouth. “Don't be mad at me,” he whispered.

“I'm not mad at you,” he replied in a lower voice, “it's just that I'm surprised you did something so impulsive and so, so… so stupid.”

Hugh bit his lip but couldn't hide his laugh. “Wow, Simon, watch your language.”

He kicked him to silence him. “I am serious,” he replied. “You gave my address to a complete stranger—"

“Georgia.”

“—To make a plan for which we have no ideas—"

“I do have many ideas.”

“—and who will bring a friend we don't know.”

Simon went silent, waiting for Hugh to answer with the friend's name. But he did not.

That only further proved his point. “From the beginning, your plan was very wrong.”

And I should have been there to warn you.

“No, my plan was golden from the beginning,” Hugh argued, “because Georgia is not a stranger. I met her at Joe’s Basket and she turned out to be a really nice girl. She likes mystery novels, wears white pajamas to sleep, and can fly. I consider that a very specific profile.”

“I consider her a stranger. You don’t even know her last name.”

“Rawles.”

“Does she has a middle name?”

Hugh ignored him completely. “If you just had heard her speak, Simon. She was absolutely right about everything,” he continued. “Georgia is a good person. She returned my notebook even though she didn't have to. And look what she did.”

Discreetly, he took a sheet of paper out of his back pocket. It was the drawing he had been working on a couple of days ago. Propaganda. “She repaired my drawing with washi-tape. It’s… kind of pretty, isn’t it?”

It was the most adorable washi-tape Simon had ever seen. “Too girly,” he growled.

“Girly? The— the washi-tape?”

“Yes,” Simon answered. “It’s too girly. I don’t like it.”

“Oh, no, I don’t like it either,” Hugh answered. “I just thought the contrast was… funny.”

Simon said nothing more. Hugh put the drawing back before anyone else saw it. “Look, that’s what would make us a great team. We all have different strengths. And also… she’s a girl. An older girl. And she likes Wonder Man.”

Simon decided to draw the line there. To hell with her pretty washi-tape. “Why does it matter she’s an older girl who likes Wonder Man? I like Wonder Man too.”

Hugh adjusted his glasses, confused. “But… you don’t like it,” he reminded him. “You say Wonder Man is an idiot.”

I do say that.

“What I mean is,” he said evasively, “like ... I mean, what does strengths does she has? Because being a girl is not one of them.”

“Her vision,” she replied. “She has a way of seeing things that are surely different from ours. Not just because she's a girl, but also because I bet she has experienced the world in a way we haven't and has more experience with certain things that could help us. How many times have we talked to someone who isn’t part of the school?”

Simon rolled his eyes. “We don't talk to anyone at school,” he muttered.

They hate us. They really hate us.

Or do they fear us?

Is there a difference?

“Well, when have we talked to someone... other than the two of us? Or your dad, or your sister—” and he smiled playfully “—or my aunt.”

He immediately realized he was trying to make him laugh. But at that point in the conversation, Simon was fed up with the entire female gender and he wasn’t even willing to smile at him.

Hugh hugged himself. For some reason, he was not wearing a jacket that day... “Where’s your jacket?” he asked in a soft voice.

“I gave it to Georgia,” he replied. “The one she had didn't protect her from the cold.”

Then Simon remembered that they were arguing and that Hugh was an idiot who gave his address to strangers and did not deserve his compassion. “Well, it's her fault. Why does she wear a jacket that looks cools but doesn't protect you from the cold?”

“Maybe she’s… passionate about fashion?” he said, half-joking.

Simon didn't find it funny. “Maybe she puts fashion above basic needs.”

Hugh realized that it was useless to keep trying to make him laugh. He put his hands in his pants pockets. “Simon…” He glanced at him. “You... that someone you mentioned last time—“

“What’s with that someone?” he asked sharply.

“That someone still wants me to believe in him, right?”

At that moment, Simon realized that throughout the entire conversation, he had had his arms crossed as if he were throwing a tantrum.

Stars. How childish Simon looked. And how worried Hugh looked.

The last thing he wanted to do was worry him.

Simon wasn't even quite sure why he was reacting like that. Like, of course, he had been annoyed that Hugh had made a move without first consulting him, especially one involving his home.

However, it didn't take long for him to realize that that other emotion he felt, in addition to the obvious annoyance, was fear. Fear that he was going to leave him for that new friend he had made. Which he knew didn't make sense because Hugh wasn't the one who abandoned others.

That one was Simon. Simon had abandoned him the other day.

Simon was the bad person here.

He leaned against the wall. “Yes...” he acknowledged. “That someone still needs you to believe in him.”

Because that someone needs you maybe a little too much.

Hugh seemed suddenly calmer. “Good,” he sighed. “I was starting to get a little worried.”

“Sorry.”

“You don't need to apologize.”

“Sorry,” he repeated.

“Simon, stop.”

But he couldn't. “Sorry.”

Hugh just laughed and leaned against the wall too. “Well, you know, since we're on the apology thing… I'm sorry I didn't consult you before giving the address to someone who is a stranger. For you,” he added quickly. Simon kicked him. I told you that she is a stranger. “It's just that… I got excited. I have never met someone like Georgia.”

Simon nodded and felt a lump in his throat. He knew what Hugh was talking about.

He had never met someone who believed in themselves because the only person Hugh hung out with was Simon, and Simon…

Simon didn't believe in anything. Not even himself.

“Are you sure we can trust her?” he asked in a small voice.

“She promised me he would be there,” he replied. “And I had to promise her that I would be there too. Simon… can you promise me that too?”

Simon scoffed. “You will be at my house.”

“You know what I mean—“ he tapped his hand with two fingers. “Can you promise me you'll be there?” he repeated.

Simon ignored the feelings that light touch gave him.

He had always been good at ignoring.

So he nodded.

The bell rang and the few students in the courtyard began to enter. Hugh chattered his teeth and hugged himself again.

“You are cold, right?” Simon asked him.

Simon didn't want to go to class yet. He wished he could stay out a while longer. Simon loved cold days because he could put on a lot of layers of clothing and people saw less of him.

But the truth was that he didn't want to go to class yet because he wanted to stay talking with his friend a bit longer.

Even if he made him angry.

“I’m freezing,” he answered. “Look, feel my hands.”

He put a hand on his cheek. Simon could feel his face turning all red again.

Ignore it, ignore it.

“Yes. They’re cold,” he answered.

“Told you. Cold can’t kill me, but is surely a pain in the ass.”

Simon gave him a lopsided smile, trying not to look like he was doing his best not to imagine… that.

Don’t think about his ass.

In a desperate attempt to distract his mind, he searched his pockets for the gloves his father told him last night to wear when leaving the house. He stood up and handed them to Hugh. “Put them on. I don't like wearing gloves anyway.”

They headed for the school entrance while Hugh struggled to put them on. They were a little too small for him, but if he didn't move his hands a lot they would surely cover them well. “Thank you,” he mumbled with a smile.

Simon shrugged. It was the least he could do.

The rest of the day, he was the one whose hands were freezing because his school had no heating since always. Yet the thought that Hugh was wearing them and that his hands were warm made him better able to ignore the cold.

That and the fact his cheeks were still red.

I'm not abandoning you again, Hugh.

I’d rather be dead.

Georgia

When she arrived, she did not make her classic introduction. She didn't say "Honey, I'm home!" nor did she hold Molly in her arms and ask her how school went. She only greeted Tamaya, gave her the bag with the few provisions that she could offer her, and dropped onto her mattress.

It was more comfortable than one would expect to. She didn't understand why Tamaya said it was uncomfortable.

Tamaya didn't seem to notice that change. And if she did, she said nothing. Georgia would dare to say that she was just as quiet as her.

She lay down beside Georgia. They were shoulder to shoulder, staring at the old roof of the abandoned store. Tamaya fiddled with her broken locket.

“Who goes first?” Georgia asked leaning on her shoulder.

“Huh?”

“Who tells her problem first,” she clarified.

“Oh.” Tamaya dropped her locket. “You. You go first.”

Georgia wanted to refuse. She knew that if she started talking, there would probably be no one able to stop her. And it was already difficult to get Tamaya to open up…

But she had to tell someone. She couldn't hold that secret inside her for another second.

She turned to see her. “I met someone.”

Tamaya did the same. “Someone?”

“A boy.”

“A boy,” she repeated. Sharply.

“Not like that,” she clarified quickly. “He's a literal boy. So yeah. It would be kinda gross, to be honest.”

Tamaya relaxed her expression. Only a little. “What did he do to you?” she asked.

“Stars, Tamaya,” Georgia laughed. “He did nothing to me. But he gave me this.”

She reached into the pocket of her jeans. Georgia hated wearing jeans because her legs were too wide and she could never find jeans that actually fit her. However, that day all her skirts were too dirty to wear. And she also had to keep that paper in a safe place.

They both straightened up as Georgia unfolded the paper with her fingers.

It's made of glass, Georgia. Like your hopes. Like the future of the world.

Be very careful.

She opened it without breaking it and passed it to Tamaya.

To a very confused Tamaya.

It's made of glass, Tam. Please don't break it.

“Is this his address?” she asked, confused.

“No, it's his friend's address.”

Tamaya crumpled the piece of paper rolling her eyes. “What the hell do you want to tell me, Georgia?”

“Be careful!” she screeched, snatching it away.

She put it on her leg and began to try to flatten it with all the strength of her hand. Luckily she had rescued it in time...

It’s made of glass! It’s made of glass!

Tamaya hid between her wings. Immediately, Georgia could recognize what he was trying to tell her by that.

She was afraid. Altered. She didn't like being yelled at.

And Georgia knew it. “Sorry...” she mumbled.

Tamaya nodded.

Why did she have to be so loud?

“Tamaya... who are you?” she asked.

Tamaya rolled her eyes. “I think you just answered your own question,” she mumbled, annoyed.

“No, I mean ... what are we?” she asked. “Look where we are—” she pointed around her “—look where we ended up.”

“I don't know if it's time for you to make me feel bad about where I live.”

“No! It's not that, Tamaya, it's just that…”

And she stopped.

“Is it just what?”

The same question was in her head.

What's your excuse now, Georgia?

She fought the urge to cry that suddenly washed over her. “It's just that I haven't stopped wondering if we've been on the right side of history,” she replied, standing up. “And it's something that I hadn't really asked myself until yesterday, you know? Until they gave me this address.”

Tamaya's shoulders hunched more. She was still hidden behind its wings.

Jeez, Georgia, can't you lower your voice a bit?

Georgia knelt beside her friend and put a hand on her shoulder. She did not reject her or bite her. Good. “Tamaya, what are we?” she insisted. “Are we women?”

“Well... yes,” she replied with a frown. “Or at least you are.”

“No, Tamaya, I am not a woman. I'm a girl,” Georgia said. “I am a girl who continues to live in the fantasy world that she designed to survive all the trauma she went through. It doesn't matter I have grown physically, on the inside… on the inside all I have done is hide my head between my books and my dolls and your friendship, because I am too much of a coward to do anything for the outside world.”

She covered her mouth with her hands as she turned her back to her. Don't cry, don't you dare cry.

Georgia did not cry.

Tamaya stood up. “Are you... are you okay?”

“Yes,” she replied with a sigh. “All good. You? Are you okay? Do you forgive me for yelling at you?”

She did not reply. For a second, Georgia thought she was going to hug her. How childish of her to think that. Tamaya never hugged people. She didn't know how to do it.

So Georgia hugged herself.

She always hugged herself. There was no one left to do it.

“I still do not understand—”

“These kids—” she showed her the slip of paper “—these kids are not cowards. And they are children. How are they braver than us? What has happened in their lives that have made them so brave?”

Tamaya pushed her fist away from her face. Georgia had accidentally put the paper on her to just below his nose.

She looked into Tamaya's eyes and realized that many things had happened to her in her life that had made her brave. Because yes, Tamaya was brave for the sole fact of her existence.

Tamaya was born with wings, which although Georgia found them wonderful, for her they were the constant reminder of everything that was “wrong” with her. Her parents despised her, she lived locked in a cage, like...

Like a bird.

But Tamaya was not a bird. Or a monster, as she called herself. She was none of those things. She was a woman.

And a brave one. Georgia wished she could see herself the way she saw her.

No, there was nothing wrong with Tamaya. Who was wrong was the rest of the world.

And that world was so different from the one Georgia had created when she was little. One that writhed in pain and hurt whoever dared to help it. Georgia was so scared of pain.

But she was more afraid of continuing being the coward in the story.

Coward. Coward. Coward.

Last night, intoxicated by the smell of vanilla and the taste of freedom, it had seemed easy. As if giving the notebook back to a child was going to make the difference the world needed at that moment.

However, as the effects of adrenaline left her body and Hugh began to speak more and more, she realized that things were more complicated than she had initially imagined. That a simple act of kindness was not going to take away the suffering from the world in which she lived. She wished it did though. I want to help you, but I'm not sure how.

Was she going to have to take the pain for the world?

Coward. Coward. Coward.

She turned to see her friend again. “Tamaya, I want to stop being a girl,” she whispered, taking her by the shoulders. “I want to stop being a coward that hides in her own imaginary world.”

Tamaya grabbed her wrists. “And what do you want to be then?”

“I want to be a woman,” she replied. “One that goes out into the real world and does something to save it.”

She nodded. Georgia decided to venture out to ask her a new question. “What do you want to be, Tamaya?”

Tamaya held on tighter to her.

Although she wasn't hurting her Georgia wondered if she was holding her tighter so she wouldn't hurt herself. “I just know I want to stop being a monster, Georgia.”

Georgia wrapped her in a hug. Tamaya reciprocated by surrounding her with her wings.

Yes. This is better than a hug.

Then a putrid smell suddenly hit her. She discreetly sniffed Tamaya's body. It wasn't her.

Good. She wasn't quite sure where she could have found a soap that could remove that.

"What’s that smell?" she asked.

There was a foam plate right behind her friend. Georgia broke away from the hug and took the foam plate in her hands. She opened it, and the retching she felt was enough to make her realize that it had been a horrible decision.

The smell was of rotten fried rice. “Tamaya!” she screamed “Why do you have this here? It's disgusting.”

Tamaya came up behind her and closed the foam plate. The scent lingered in her nostrils still, but Tamaya seemed unaffected. “It is my reminder.”

She sounded so distant, so empty...

Had she sounded like that?

She put the foam plate at the other end of the room quickly. When she returned, Tamaya was sitting on the mattress, hugging her legs. Georgia took Molly and held her out. Tamaya took her doll and put it on her lap.

Georgia sat next to her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Tamaya shook her head. She undid one of Molly's braids and started doing it again. “Give me ideas.”

“Ideas for what?”

“Ideas for what I could be. I don't know anything else.”

Georgia undid Molly's other braid. “How about... being a superhero?”

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #renegades trilogy #simon westwood #hugh everhart #georgia rawles #tamaya rae #OG renegades #rise of the renegades #ao3 #fic #i promise they all are going to meet up soon:(#i just need to organize a couple of things #thanks for being patience u.u

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stuck-in-hawkins · 5 years ago

Text

Of Boredom and Makeup

Fic request for @willbyersbowlcutisgay :)))

Will laid down, his headphones plugged into his stereo, listening to the ethereal strings of “Shine on You Crazy Diamond” weave together a story in his mind. He was close to an idea for a drawing. He was getting a general idea of various pictures, but he didn’t have the thread to bind them together. Something to make a coherent plot. It didn’t matter if people couldn’t see the whole story from one painting. He needed to know it first.

This drawing assignment was the only thing left to do. The suspension for fighting would last the week, but the work had been done, at least for him. The remainder of his days would likely be spent tutoring El. She was wicked smart, particularily in science and math, but years in a lab hadn’t taught her the subtleties of the English language. The party had tried to catch her up, taking turns tutoring her in one subject or another. Now, it was just Will, Jonathan, and Joyce.

Most of yesterday had been spent trying to help her with the workload. But she got easily frustrated and it had been a trying day. Today, they were taking a break. Will heard the crackle of the record as the brass in the song faded and listened as the sounds escalated and welcomed him to the machine. An idea crawling out, haunting images from the movie Metropolis, pipelines and steam turning into a creature with an open mouth consuming, feasting.

He felt a shadow on his face. He opened his eyes and saw El standing over him.

He gasped and threw off his headphones. “Jesus, El!”

She seemed surprised by his reaction and immediately apologetic. Will forgot sometimes how childlike she really was.

He softened his tone, “Is everything alright?”

She held up the Walkman he let her borrow. “Out of batteries.”

“Oh. Crap. Okay. We’ll have to get some next time we go to the store.” He popped it open and saw she was listening to the David Bowie’s The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust. A smile lit up his face. “Do you like it?”

El nodded.

Will took the tape out. “Do you want to listen to it in my room?”

El brightened at the idea, “Sure.”

He pressed the stop button, moved the needle off record, and took his headphones out. He put the tape in the bottom section of the stereo that played cassettes and hit play. The room filled with a dance between the piano and Bowie’s vocals. Will’s grin hadn’t faded. He got his sketchbook out at his desk.

“I’m gonna draw for a bit. You can bring whatever you want in here.”

El got the magazines, mirror, and make up bag from her room. She set herself up on the floor. Will saw this out of the corner of his eye and stifled a sigh. Just when he had thought they had something in common, he’d been reminded of how different they really were.

He couldn’t understand her. She had so many conflicting things. She was this total badass but also sensitive like a child and then she’d do totally girly things that just drove him crazy. What did Mike even see in her?

And there was a pang, like a string out of tune. There it was. The underlying reason for it all. Will hadn’t put words to it. He didn’t want to. There would be so much to admit. So many ugly words he didn’t want to face. He pulled out his charcoal and blackened his fingers in the tactile material. He let himself get absorbed in the motions, the values, the dark shadows and gradients.

He didn’t bring his head up until he heard the click of the tape. He realized it was probably close to lunchtime. “Hey El,” he turned, “Do you want something to-”

But he didn’t finish. He couldn’t. Because when she’d turned, he saw the face of Ziggy Stardust. Perfectly rendered. The golden sun on her forehead, the red and gold on her eyes fading as they spread off her lids and into her bone structure. His mouth hung open.

“Does it look okay?” She asked.

He couldn’t fathom it. She was every bit the badass he had thought. And holy shit. She actually WAS artistic. She could draw little more than stick figures, it had been a creative outlet that had been stolen from her as a child, and she got much too frustrated with her lack of progress to try at all. But, at putting on colored powder, she was a Van Gogh and Will admired her for it.

He realized he hadn’t said anything. “El… that’s amazing. How did you do that?”

She held up a picture from a magazine: The Rolling Stones.

“Just from the picture? No tutorial or anything?”

She shook her head. “Just the picture.”

“That’s incredible.”

She beamed.

“Umm.. Are you hungry?” He asked.

She nodded. He scrubbed the charcoal from his hands in the kitchen and made them both PB&J. But he couldn’t get an idea out of his head. It was embarrassing and he didn’t want to say it. He didn’t want to ask. After lunch she grabbed a stack of napkins.

Will tilted his head. “What are you doing?”

“Wiping it off.”

“What?! But you just finished! You’re not going to keep it on?”

“I wanna try the other one.”

Will straightened. “The one with the lightning bolt?”

She nodded. Will looked at the clock. They had a while before anyone came home. Long enough to… No. No. It was ridiculous to even think it.

There was an intense internal struggle. But the idea of looking in the mirror and seeing Bowie looking back at him was too strong. “Youcoulduseme,” he blurted.

Her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “What?”

Will averted his eyes, “You can use me. For the makeup.”

Her eyebrows lifted in surprise.

Will shook his head, looking away. “I don’t like make up or anything. But you worked so hard on that. And it looks incredible. It would be like washing artwork down the drain. And it’s only because it’s Ziggy Stardust. I was thinking of being him for Halloween, anyway.”

He stopped his ramblings, feeling like he was blabbering to an empty room. When he looked back at El, she was practically glowing, “It’s artwork?”

Will nodded. “Of course.”

She turned back still beaming. He followed her to the bedroom. A knot suddenly settling in his stomach. All the things people would say if they saw. But who was there to see? It was less that others would see, it was that he would know what they’d say. That maybe all those things they said would be right. What if he enjoyed it? Would that make him the fairy everyone thought he was?

He sat down in front of El and looked at the magazine with David Bowie’s visage looking back. He wondered if Bowie was ever called that. What if he’d listened to them? How much of his art would he have cut himself off from? How much expression would he have silenced? The thought was strong enough to ward off his worries. The negative words still chattered, but he mentally told them to piss off.

El picked up her palette and brush. She held the colors up to his face and looked back at the picture. Will watched her work. She laid out all the cast off make up given to her by Nancy and began selecting her colors, moving them in front of Will. She held out her hand to Will and he looked at her curiously.

She said, “I need your hand. To try the colors.”

“Oh!” He gave her his hand and she picked up a shimmery white and applied it to the back of his hand. Her touch was warm and delicate as she held his hand. He thought the sensation of the brush would tickle, but it didn’t. It just felt nice. He relaxed while she doused his hand in eyeshadow. Once she was satisfied with the color selection, she moved onto his face.

“Close your eyes,” she said.

He did and felt his nerves ripple as she touched the brush to his cheeks. He wasn’t used to his face being touched. He realized how much trust this required and wondered if that was why girl friendships were so different than guy ones. They had an open trust. Not that he didn’t trust his friends. But it was different. If any one of the guys in their party sat down with his eyes closed, there was a 50/50 chance someone would fart or burp in their face. It just was that way and Will had never questioned it. But this was so… gentle.

He felt like a canvas and it was a strange experience. It involved a lot of waiting. But the experience was overall pleasant and he didn’t want it to end. At least until she got to the eyes.

“Stop squinting.” She said, annoyed.

He opened a eye. “It’s kind of hard when-”

“Close them!”

He shut his eye again. “When you are putting something directly on my eye. It’s instinct to squint.”

“Raise your eyebrows and you won’t squint.”

Will tried and forced himself to keep his eyelids taut.

When she got to his forehead, she clipped his bangs with bobby pins to the top of his head. Having his hair touched just about put him to sleep. He found himself wishing that it wasn’t just something assigned to girls. He wished that guys had been allowed to do that stuff too, instead of having to wait for a haircut to have such affection to be bestowed. He wondered if it was wrong to question that though.

Her hands left his face and he opened his eyes. She looked him over and nodded. “I think… it’s done.”

Will sat up, excited and also a little nervous. “Can I look?”

She nodded. He took his time getting to the mirror. Will worried that he might look ridiculous. Maybe it had all been a trick and his trust a slap in the face. But when he got to the mirror and saw Ziggy staring back, he felt stinging at the back of his eyes. He couldn’t help it.

The trademark lightning bolt was striking across his face and the red glow flowing from his eyes seemed like some power had washed over him. He felt stronger. He felt powerful, like he had something no one could take away. In that moment, he loved the person he was, wholly and completely. The makeup was a mask, but it reflected more of himself than he’d ever let show. In that moment he accepted himself exactly as he was.

He knew the moment was fleeting and he’d go back to facing the demons in his mind. He’d have to hear his mental record play the same discouraging songs about his shortcomings, his flaws, the things that made him believe he was broken. But right now, none of it mattered. In this moment, he knew he was stronger than all that.

“It’s perfect.” He said. He looked back at El in her Bowie make up and a thought popped into his head of her being his fairy godmother. And he chuckled. He felt happy and ridiculous and overwhelmingly grateful. He wrapped his arms around her without a second thought.

The affection surprised her and a warm smiled nestled into her cheeks. She leaned her head on his shoulder into the embrace, thankful to finally have a brother.

They played as many Bowie albums as they could while Will worked on a new drawing. This one was filled to the brim with color. He used colored pencils for general outlines of his own silhouette and filled it with color from his chalk pastels. He drew bright streams of sun that broke through clouds, which looked like the nebulas he’d seen in his astronomy books. There were streaks of lightning going to the edges of the paper. He hoped it conveyed the strength he had felt, the beauty of the moment he’d seen in the mirror. He’d have to ask Jonathan when he got home. El wasn’t one for interpreting artwork but she was enthralled at watching his creative process.

They didn’t take the makeup off until after both Jonathan and Joyce got back. Joyce insisted that Jonathan take their picture. When the pictures were developed, El kept one on her vanity and Will kept one in his drawer. He’d take it out on dark moments when the inner monologue got too loud, when he needed to remember his own strength. Sometimes it worked, but not always. When it didn’t, he knew he could go into El’s room and he’d let her practice her craft on him.

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shabba-zams · 4 years ago

Text

INSPIRED BY ELAINE

I think it's time, we confronted the situation in front of us

And I think it's time we talk it out and forget all the fuss

And it is not me.. There just isn't an us no more like Bible class

Our time is up, like sand falling thru an hour glass, in an hour class

You always say you have no clue but surely eNCA, know more

You mad at me, the silent treatment and you call it normal

You're bad for me, I was ur biggest fan - u such a baddie

You're bad to me, I'm your only fan, love it when u call me daddy

I'm sad for you, you hid your "Onlyfans" from me, you dirty

I'm thirsty, right now you looking all sexy, girly, flirty, all nerdy

You're needy, greedy, full of pity, always eating, mouth fully meaty, too demanding, nasty lazy, bitch u crazy

I'm giving, forgiving, plain loving, still thirsty but dripping in sauce

You're tripping, I flick my wrist then flick the bean (BDSM)

You're dribbing, my dick be crippling

You be stroking my penis, asking what my pin is

Bust a nut, wipe a continent from your chest

Yeah, that's what pain is

And then I knew you're not the One

Coz you were never the only one

I don't give out many chances, you get just the one

Party on campus, ur too antisocial, never my plus one

Plus size model, thick mama, BBW, voloptuous, ur curvatious

Luv ur onion booty, it makes me cry & it's more than 1 layer

Yeah im full of games, bstill no player

Dinner for 2, right b4 I eat u up, say my prayer

Bad dream, devils hour, I wake, u staring like, Heya! That's creepy

Okay lemme be real with u, it ain't your fault

I just couldn't be real around you, I couldn't be myself

I was losing myself tryinna please U

My face was your chair, no please U.. I can't breathe

I need air, u don't care, I pull ur hair, that's not fair

Face clean, no make up, take teddy bear, then make up sex

We're role playing, you're now Claire, Blair or Nonhle

Shared my, heart and love with u

I ain't mad at u, we don't c I2I

U & I was both invested, we tested

All that loud in the air, sippin wine we wasted

Danced all night then rested

My place or yours instead

Always kept you interested, kept me well fed

It's lessons learned not time wasted

Why you making me choose between you & the booze

I know you hate how I'm hung like a moose

Getting your creative juices flowing, like your muse

Misuse my tongue, amuse ur lower lips, abuse your sleep

Team nocturnal, feeling your intestine with my external

Loving you all night and day, feels eternal

I'm sorry but I'm not ready for anal

But that pussy imma turn into a canal

You dislike my love/hate relationship with social media

I bring a home cooked meal but all you do is take away

I mean it's healthier and bonus it makes financial sense

Lemme keep my 2 cents, common sense ain't common

That's nonsense, why you so tense? We don't make sense

I still sense your anger from when I tried to fvck ur friend

Then my close friend who's my best friends girlfriend

Yeah, I fvcked up, I own up, let's roll up

That's not tea in my cup, let's go up

Talk at the roof top, "nigga just grow up"

You're yelling, screaming, bout to blow up

I'm cocky, saying shit like I was your glow up

"Hol'up, nigga please just shut the fvck up

You always say you coming but never show up"

"You're right, I'm sorry I left you sick to go drink

I felt like I was drowning until my sorrows' lungs were filled with H2O

Made it up 2 u tho, made you cum 6 times..no? 7 I think, who's counting

You a liability, I'm an asset... I mean it's just accounting

You lack reliability, for your mistakes ur never accounting

You hate my ability to feel everything and still be wholesome

Coz you just wanna feel good all the time

But my feelings be fluctuating, I just won't be faking

Stop tolerating the neglect Im getting

Get liquid with it

Happiness is the yin and sadness is the yang

Sometimes I drink gin, only when I'm with my gang

There's a burn hole on my jean, maybe a ciggie, or dank

But now I get bank, I want no skank that smoke skunk

Has that sank? Yeah I know, I'm a think tank, tick

Talk all you want, but keep it short like tik-tok

Tic toc, times up, take tsek.. tic tac 4 your bad breath

2 these beats I bring death, yeah I take life, no bring back

Break dance & break back, ahead of you like 3 laps

Brick dance coz my money grows while I nap nap

Hahaha gimme 3 claps coz my puns still slap

I'm real black, I'm bout to snap at all this crap

These niggaz decided to call rap

Lame rappers, listen up, sit down and don't talk back

Don't turn no other cheek, clap back or get ur wolf pack

Crack back, don't fight niggaz that look lyk they fap-fap

Or smoke crack crack, with eyes doing a criss cross

Came across many rappers that steal rap lines or rap names like Rick Ross to get their point across

Gamble with your life & hit crap

Lost your wife on my Whatsapp, there's that!

She pole dance in my DM's, she excels

She got a flat tummy till she exhales, but sex sells

She call me Haploid, like sex cells

She's cold like may weather, F Lloyd!

I'm a Record breaker, planet shaker, Constant risk taker

Ask the chain breaker how I stay shining

He'll answer, I stay grinding, on God!

I'm not a smile faker, just a soul snatcher in the fast lane

Wubba lubba dub dub, Rick and Morty

Life and death drive, ask Freud or Boyd

Leading a wild life like Varty, bitter sweet like chutney

I'm bored, so we party in my bed, my bad, honey!

Ass-ass-ass, she clap ass 3 times before 4(play)

Nurse-nurse-nurse, I slap ass tats when we role playin

Looking all photogenic, oops a nip slip on tape

Phat ass on my iOS, like real life

Ass flat on android, that's what they look like

No steroids, my dick big don't nje just

She look at my shoe size and run away at 1st chance

I'm an asteroid not space dust, she came fast

Then I came too, at last, she said out loud

I'm heartless at first glance, til I made her soul dance

Think fast, mouth 2 mouth ur low lips, I'm a medic

Nudes is explicit, is you a nymph or manic?

Nymphomaniac please don't panic

Your style so sick, bout to start a pandemic

We'll playback with your jeans off, relay... ground rules

No replay or pause only gonna press play once

No safewords, whatever works works, word!

Girl you a baddie, and a Pedi, go spoil yourself

Get a mani &a pedi

Dick in mouth, still out spoken, can't put words in mouth

U said I'm a keeper

Silver spoon in her mouth but I still feed her

Feel her up then fill her up, I eat her up

I feed her jollof right before I pipe her, I like her

Never gonna wife her, don't really love her

She's rude like something' crawled up her...

Foul mouth like up yours!

I know around your feelings I should tip toe

It's unfortunate coz I don't tip Joe's (askies jo)

Like excuse me waiter where should I dip those fries, french

Kiss hoes toes, mxwa, Zulu man with a foot fetish, tip toe

Articulate the truth, use tactics lyk rotten tomatoes on bad movies

I'm not perfect, I pose a threat even if a picture's moving

I'm booming, you're blooming... I'm nice nice, ur gloomy

I'm grooming u, like your cult leader

Avid reader, your soul feeder, I'm no people pleaser

I need a lady thats rooted in love and still rooting for me

Unconditional love lyk the kind that died on the cross 4 me

Is that you? No? Then miss me Miss, think I'm gonn miss ya!

Coz now it's

A goodbye to you, I'm thru witchu, it's true I confess

Wish you nothing but the best

Somebody to love you, put you first for the rest of

All the days to come, to you I

Remain a good friend, no benefits just perks

Straight facts, ex lover with strange quirks... You

Are

The

One... Who will be the godmother to my heir

So if I die, you'll raise HIM or raise HER

Erase Her memory of me if it's too painful to hold on to

Make sure he's playful, careful and joyful too

U'll be a good mom, ur delightful unlyk most step mothers

You're a good teacher that's patient but always on time

You'll know what to do if ever my daughter runs late

Scratch that, you'll be a great mother, that's fate

Becoz you're a leader, not deceitful like some bad fathers

#IWriteWhatILike #poetry #dead poets society #poets on tumblr

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jojoreadwhat · 4 years ago

Text

there’s a map in my room on the wall of my room and i’ve got big plans / honey & smoke - m.h. x OFC story

Lucy's POV.

I made it in one piece.

I arrived at the airport, walking through the gates and scanning the place.

I was going to be meeting my two new roommates for the first time in person.

We spent majority of the summer Skyping and Snapchatting away our lives to each other. Becoming very acquainted with one another, and both were extremely sweet.

I looked into the crowd, many holding up signs, limo drivers with their hats on waiting for the richy people.

Then there was the great big pretty sign, LED lights taped around it. Bold letters reading, "Welcome To London, Lucy Lou!" The two brunettes holding each side, beaming from ear to ear as my eyes could never miss the big warming welcome.

I ran up to them, hugging them both like we've been friends for centuries. Thank god for social media.

"Oh my god, you're even cuter in person!" Abby greeted, she was this short, slender brunette. From Dublin originally, but came to London for further studies in Biology. Very tomboy like with a flare of eye liner drawn around her pretty green eyes. Oh, and she's a lesbian.

Liz, our other roommate chuckled. She was another brunette, but it was all wrapped in a messy bun. Little strains hanging loosely around her face. She was a London native, our guide throughout the semester. She was very pretty, model type. Very girly girl as she was all dolled up, wearing nothing but the best Mulberry or Zara. But on the plus side she wasn't snotty like many can be.

They both walked with me to the baggage claim, grabbing the few things I had flown on the plane, while the rest was coming in tomorrow. Abby grabbed a bag, Liz grabbed the carry on off my shoulder and I rolled the biggest case.

"How was your flight?" Liz asked first, as we loaded up her jeep. I nodded, satisfied. "It was a lot better than I anticipated. I'm in one piece!" Gesturing to myself.

With pop filling the airwaves of the jeep, we headed into town. Driving little ways from the airport before arriving to campus.

Luckily for us, we weren't really on campus. We had a house on the outskirts, it was cute. And the street was quiet, orange, red and yellow trees aligned down the block. It looked picture perfect, something you seen in those movies on tv.

The girls toured me around the house, showing me the common living before showing me to my room.

It was cute and quint my room, enough to make it a home for the next year or so. "Do you need a hand?" Abby asked. I shook my head, undecided on what I was going to do first.

They left me alone as I got myself acquainted.

White walls, a canvas ready to be paired with my pieces of home.

I looked out the big window, the sun shined so pretty through it. I loved a sun drowned out room, it was a sweet piece of home.

I observed how different London was. People walking bundle in layers, some with dogs, some with others, some alone. They had different auras about them all, things you wouldn't find back home.

I decided to write about it.

Before I made a decision of a lifetime and set out on a norm I wasn't use to. I figured I'd write about everyday, making my first publication after London, a memoir. Filled with big experiences that replaced the little ones that seemed so... basic.

The leather bounded book sat on my lap as I sat on my window sill, writing like London came natural to me.

'The woman swirled in excitement... Her lover's smile bursting at the seems as her went to taste her love, a love that would--'

A knock at the door startled my form, Liz coming into view from the hallway.

"I forgot to mention earlier, two doors down, a good group of friends of ours are throwing a welcome party. Be ready by 8." She softly smiled, shutting the door once more.

Brushing it off for the moment and going back to the thrill of observing a thrilling love fest outside my window. I began to get swarmed.

A party?

I've never been a party person, nor a social bee to boot. This was going to be different.

What do I wear? What do I say? My mind became overwhelmed, overwhelmed with nonsense thoughts that were uncalled for.

I stopped in my tracks. Stop. I mouthed to myself.

I came here for a different take on the world. A different part of me to shine. I couldn't be so silly about this simple party.

As much as I'd much rather curl up and watch Gilmore Girls a million times more. I had to step out of that comfort zone, I was in London for god sakes.

I looked out the window again, no one in sight. Just watching as the brisk winds ruffled the trees.

For a moment, I felt proud of myself.

Taking over my worry mind, grabbing grasp of it and starting the fire.

----------------------------

Matty's POV.

It was 6pm and I was still laying in bed. Even after the events that had occurred and the woman who left my flat without a warning.

I was still here, just staring at the walls. Looking at the ceiling and then at the window.

My mind was blank. But my chest felt empty.

I was in the mist of finding something to think about when George came in, my best friend and the drummer of our band.

"You lazy fuck. You really gonna sleep all day?" He questioned. Honestly it didn't sound like a bad idea.

I sat up, grabbing a cigarette off the stand next to me. George was giddy, I wondered what mess he got himself into this time.

"So we're going to a party tonight." He began, I sighed. The dude never settled down for a minute, and as much I loved the high life. I just wasn't for it tonight.

"They're going to be babes there... Maybe you find a little flower to blossom."

And I did, I loved that whole pure and sweet little thing. But at seventeen and not even passed twenty, it wasn't what I needed.

But George wouldn't take no for an answer. Throwing my shirt at me, "Get ready we leave soon."

He left the room, I found myself looking for some decency. Finally heading downstairs, I met the rest of the boys. Them all crowded in the living room watching some boring program, I made my way to the kitchen.

Pouring what was left of hot water before setting a tea bag into it.

It's was going to be another aimless night with another helpless soul.

#the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy imagines #slutforbritdick #wattpadarchives

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another-blog-bites-the-dust · 6 years ago

Text

Mr and Mrs May.

Summary: Being married to each other for five years meant that you and Brian knew a lot about each other. But there was still one element of your lives that you both failed to mention until you both have to confront each other.

Warnings: Violence, mentions of death, swearing, angst, mature/adult themes, blood, lots of fighting.

A/N: Okay so this is a little different to the Spy!AU I wrote with John but I reallyyyyy loved doing this one with Brian because it's got a lil bit of angst and a lil bit of naughtiness 😏 I hope you enjoy! 💖

•Masterlist•

You let out an antagonising groan when your head hit against the mirror and it smashed into hundreds of pieces, blood and glass were beginning to mix in your hair. "That's seven years back luck, darling." You grabbed a piece of broken mirror and lunged forward, managing to just catch Brian's arm and he let out a hiss as his shirt and skin tore.

"That was a new shirt, love." He growled and kicked your thigh, knocking you off balance slightly and you gripped onto the sink in the bathroom to support yourself. You quickly swerved out the way when he tried to pounce on you again.

"Looks like your bad luck has already begun!" You yelled out and escaped your mess of an ensuite bathroom into the bedroom you shared with Brian and grabbed something from under your bed. He did the same and you both instantly recognised the cocking of a gun. You both stood up slowly, pointing the weapon at one another and showing no signs of mercy. "You're a fucking traitor!" You snapped and Brian raised a brow.

But just how did you both get from eating dinner barely fifteen minutes earlier to this point?

•••

You had told Brian you were out with Mary for a girly night out but instead you were changing your whole appearance in a tunnel under the streets of London. It was damp and dreary and was filled with the most advanced weapons ever made. You secured a wire to your skin with some tape before slipping on a elaborately decorated dress. "You know the plan?" Your boss, Paul, confirmed with you.

"Find the one they call 'Red Special' who'll be wearing a rocket ship pin on his lapel. I know." You sighed "I swear, Paul, sometimes I think you doubt me," you snapped putting in an earpiece and then your earrings.

He held his hands up in defence "I have no doubts in one of the CIA's best agents," he smirked. "We've got eyes on you incase you get into trouble-" you glared at him "-which you won't!" He handed you a small device and you attached it to your bracelet. "Fix the tracker to the inside of his suit jacket."

You groaned "I hate flirting with the targets..." you guiltily slipped off your wedding and engagement ring, placing them into a box for safe keeping. "Okay," you fixed your wig and the hair pin that was in it. "I'm ready." You kept your gaze firmly fixated out the window avoiding the driver, who was more than just a driver. He was your teammate, ally, confidant, friend, doctor, tech genius...and your husbands closest friend. He asked what Brian was up to tonight. "Said something about stargazing if it was clear," you looked upwards "It's getting a little cloudy now though." You looked down at your ringless finger on your left hand. "Never gets any easier taking them off, Rog." You wiggled your fingers a little and sighed.

"I suppose we've got to make certain sacrifices for people we love," Roger pat your knee. "Five years of marriage- just remember that. He'll never know you take them off." You thinly smiled before composing yourself when he pulled up to the building the gala was being held in. "I'll be in your ear." Roger gave you a reassuring smile before you made your way in and grabbed a glass of champagne to blend in before you scoured for the person known as 'Red Special'.

You spotted the person you were looking for heading to the bar so you discreetly tipped out the champagne into a plant pot and made your way there. You dramatically sighed and put your empty glass on the bar. "What's a girl gotta do to get a drink around here?"

"Tell me what you drink and I'll be happy to help," you turned and widely grinned noticing the rocket ship pin on the suit jacket. He had wavy blonde hair and piercing green eyes. "Another champagne perhaps?" He asked and you grinned, nodding. "Beautiful dress," he looked you up and down, softly biting on his bottom lip and you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. "Your hair pin matches it perfectly."

"Thank you, I love this," you tapped the pin on his suit. 'Red Special' took a sip from his glass with a bashful smirk.

"Remember the tracker is on the underside of your bracelet, Y/N," Roger uttered in your ear. "You're going to have to get your hand under and stick it on." You wanted to groan on the spot but kept your calm and flirtatious demeanour going.

"Usually people offer me a drink after I've danced with them..." you batted your eyelashes "But maybe we could do it back to front."

"I could think of other things we could try and do back to front," he winked and you blinked in shock- just wondering what the hell he was suggesting by saying that. Your brow furrowed slightly when your imagination got slightly carried away. "But if the lady would like to dance," he stood up and held his hand out and you took it in yours. "I see you're not married," he glanced down at your bare hand. "A beautiful woman like you with no husband? I refuse to believe that." The band played something slow so that meant you were pressed right up against him.

"I don't think any man would be able to handle me." You flirtatiously retorted as he gripped on to your waist a little tighter. 'Except one,' you said to yourself. "I like this song," you hummed. You had no idea what the song was but took the chance to try and attach the tracker to the inside of his suit. "I feel like it loosens me up," you murmured in a honeyed tone and slipped your hand under the jacket, brushing your fingers against his shirt. "Loosens me a little too much, perhaps."

You brushed your bracelet against the lining of the jacket. "Secured, Y/N. Get out of there when you can." Roger said in your ear.

"Perhaps that's not such a bad thing," he spun you and pulled you back in. "This hair pin really is beautiful.." he admired and ran his fingers over it before they ran against your jaw. "Beautiful indeed..." he gazed into your eyes. You could have sworn you had seen them before...but also, you hadn't. His whole face and demeanour was like a paradox. The band stopped playing and you pulled back to clap.

"You'll have to excuse me, I need to go to the ladies room!" You lied.

'Red Special' nodded "Well we danced, if you'd like another drink I'll be by the bar." He winked before walking away, you looked over your shoulder at him before fleeing the gala and going back to the car where Roger began praising you for doing another good job. He drove you back to the tunnel where Paul was still waiting.

"Tracking feature is live, we've got 'Red Special'." He grinned and clapped his hands together. "Great work, Y/N. Now we can finally get more information on this guy and see what he's been doing." You nodded and placed on your rings before you took out your coloured contact lenses and removed the wig and hair pin. You went to give the hair pin back but Paul held his hand out with a toothy smile "You really did suit that. Keep it! Consider it a bonus," he laughed and you chortled. You put it in your handbag and headed home, when you arrived back, Brian was already in bed but not quite sleeping.

"Hi, petal," his sleepy tone almost made you melt. Brian pressed a kiss to your temple "Have a good night?"

Your eyes stared into space "Yeah. Was great." You cuddled into him and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth "I missed you."

Brian ran his hand over your bedazzled left hand. "I missed you too."

•••

The next week you turned up to the tunnel after Paul had summoned you with your hands in your jacket pockets. "What's the matter with you?" You questioned seeing his sheepish expression "Looks like you've seen a bloody ghost." He didn't say anything and you raised a brow "What?"

"I don't know how to tell you this Y/N..." Paul began, he was deadly serious. "We've been keeping an eye on 'Red Special' for the past week and...well let's just say he isn't who we thought he was." Your eyes narrowed in confusion when he handed you a folder of photos and sheets filled with information. They were photos of your husband and everything that was ever known about him. "Brian is 'Red Special'. I'm sorry, Y/N."

Your fingers shakily brushed over a photo taken of him when he was completely oblivious, your whole body filled with conflicted feelings. You shut over the file and tossed it onto the table in front of you and had to hunch over it to support yourself. "What has he done?"

"Sold state secrets to our enemies. He's a traitor and you know the punishment for treason..." Paul trailed off.

You looked up to him through your lashes "And you want me to do it, don't you?" You gritted out "You want me to kill him?" You pushed yourself off the table "Oh you're fucking kidding me!" You screamed.

"I know it's going to be hard for you but you are trained to do this. You are an agent and an assassin, when required. You took an oath and if you disobey it then you're just as much of a traitor as him!" Paul raised his voice before trying to defuse the tense situation. "Just be numb inside- don't even think about it. Disregard him as your husband- was he ever really your husband in the first place if he kept his secret double life from you?" He asked.

You shook your head and warningly pointed at him. "No, no, no you don't get to say that! I'm living a double life too- that's not fair that he gets that fact thrown back in his face when I'm just as guilty!" You were angry. You were angry at a lot of factors at this point but you knew what had to be done. Paul asked for proof that Brian was actually dead after you had carried out the task. "You'll get your proof before midnight!" You snapped back and left to go home and kill your traitor of a husband.

Paul left the tunnel and headed to the MI5 building that afternoon. Brian was already waiting in his office when he arrived. "Thanks for coming," he said in an low tone and sat down at his desk across from him.

Brian raised a brow "What's the matter? Is it about 'Mayflower'?" He asked referring to the woman he had to put a tracker on the hair pin they were wearing at the gala last week.

"Sadly, yes..." Paul loudly sighed and slid a folder across his desk to Brian. "I don't know how to tell you this Brian but we've been tracking 'Mayflower' for the past week and...let's just say she isn't who we thought she was." Brian warily opened the folder and felt his heart simultaneously stop yet beat that little bit faster seeing the photos of you and pieces of information surrounding you. He held one, you looked so candid and beautifully unaware that you were being photographed. "Y/N is 'Mayflower'. I'm so sorry, Brian. This must be a shock to you."

He softly shut over the file and and sighed, infuriatingly rubbing his face with a light groan. "What has she done?"

"Sold state secrets to our enemies. She's a traitor and you know the punishment for treason..." Paul trailed off, repeating his words from earlier.

"You want me to kill her?" Brian whispered out, his head and heart preparing themselves for battle against each other.

"I know it's going to be hard for you but you are trained to do this. You are loyal to her majesty's secret service and an licensed to kill, when required. You took an oath and if you disobey it then you're just as much of a traitor as she is." Paul said. "Disregard her as your wife." Brian let out an unamused laugh. "I mean, was she ever really your wife in the first place if she kept her secret double life from you?" Paul pushed a little- trying to make Brian's choice a little easier.

"Oh yeah, as if I haven't been keeping the same secret from her!" Brian snapped and stood up with a huff. He asked the same of Brian- he wanted photos of you when he had finished the task. "You'll get your proof." He gritted out and slammed Paul's office door shut. He left MI5 to go home and kill his traitor of a wife.

•••

You and Brian were walking in opposite directions but met each other outside the front door of the house. "Hi, petal," he greeted you.

"Hello, darling," you placed a hand on his arm and kissed his cheek, shooting him daggers when he couldn't see you face. Little did you know, he did the same. "How was work?"

"Fine, fine. What about you?" He asked, motioning for you to go into the house first after he opened the door.

"Yeah, it was fine too," you replied before squeaking when you felt Brian slap your bum a little too harsh to be playful but you shook it off. When you turned to him he had a small smile on his face "Someone's...frisky?"

"Can't help it...I still can't believe after all these years that a beautiful woman like you has a husband like me." His words sent a chill down your spine- they were similar to the same ones he said to you last week. Only last week he was wearing a blonde wig with green lenses in his eyes.

You removed your bag, shoes and coat, smoothing out your dress while Brian kept looking at you. "Well you're the only man that could ever handle me." You replied, keeping your cool- Brian harshly gulped. "Let's make a start on dinner." You grabbed some vegetables from the fridge to make a veggie stir fry- one of Brian's favourite meals. You glared at the tiles in front of you while you cut up some onions with a very sharp chef's knife.

Brian moved passed you, placing a hand on your hip as he did. Your reaction was lightning quick and you held up the knife in front of his face. "Careful with that, love," Brian gently gripped your wrist and moved your hand down. "Wouldn't want an accident." His voice was tight and his eyes were locked onto yours. He moved to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine "How about the red?" He asked and you positively hummed.

Brian went to the drawer and pulled out the corkscrew with the razor sharp spike at the end of it. He looked between it and you, your back was facing him. He held it tightly between his fingers, his knuckles becoming bright white from the grip he had on it. He slowly sauntered forward, holding it out to you and more than ready to plunge it into your back but you turned with a smile on your face. "Why don't you set the table? Dinner is almost ready." Brian nodded and set up the table, even lighting candles to set the mood. He poured out two glasses of wine just as you came through with the two plates. You set them down and Brian, being the double-crossing gentleman he was, pulled out your seat before pushing you in a little. He sat across from you, the table suddenly feeling bigger than it ever had despite being the same one you sat at every night. You took a sip of your wine while looking at Brian "Is this the Australian reserve?" You asked with your fingers pinching the stem of the wine glass a little too tight, making it snap. Your forcefulness shocked you both and Brian quickly stood up and you did the same as you tried to clear up the broken glass and spilled wine. "It's fine, Brian!" You snapped and tried to push him back.

"I can get it," he sharply spoke and grabbed your hand. You quickly grabbed the knife that was next to your plate and pointed it at him.

"I only wanted to get through bloody dinner first!" You swiped the knife at Brian and he went into instant defence mode. He ran to the other side of the table and flipped it into you, the plates smashed and dinner was well and truly ruined. You chased him into the living room and he picked up a vase, throwing it at you but it missed you by a few inches, shattering to pieces against the wall. You gasped "My vase! I loved that!"

"It was the fucking ugliest thing in this house!" Brain screamed and you were starting to erupt with anger. You grabbed the bottle that was on the sideboard next to fancy crystal glasses that the pair of you received as a wedding gift, and smashed the bottle off the wall out of sheer resentment. "My 75 year old brandy!" Brian cried before becoming furious.

"Good!" You screamed and he pounced at you but you kicked his chest and he went flying back into the glass table and it smashed into thousands of pieces. You made your way over to him as he rolled and painfully groaned on the floor. You went to stab him but he quickly swerved you and then kicked the knife out of your hand. That took you off guard and he took the opportunity to sit up and grip your thighs and hands, holding you in place as your dress hitched up a little. You tried to wriggle your way out of his hold.

Brian devilishly smirked when you found yourself unable to move anymore when you looked into his eyes. He was dangerously close to a very sensitive area. "Oh this is interesting if not a little cliché..." he said in a teasing tone. "I'm your biggest weakness." He brushed his tongue against the skin of your inner thigh- dangerously close to your underwear- to distract you from getting to your weapon laced garter. You were succumb to him for a moment and unintentionally rutted your hips forward.

But you snapped out of your lust induced trance. You knew what he was doing and managed to twist yourself around him, your legs restricted the movements of his arms and you lowered yourself a little on his face. "You always did say my pussy would be the death of you," you gritted out. Brian's will was a little stronger than you gave him credit for and he knocked you off balance, he then had the chance to bring his leg up and hit it against the side of your neck and head, flooring you completely.

"I did say that," He straddled you by sitting on your chest, his crotch right in your face. "But not today."

You groaned and rolled your eyes "I can't believe you're fucking turned on right now!" You snapped and tried to avert your eyes from the growing bulge in front of your face before deciding to use that to your advantage. "Does danger and death turn you on, love?" You purred and went to grab your blade from your garter but it was gone- it fell out when Brian knocked you down so now you had to fight fire with fire. You sinfully smirked and you harshly brushed your tongue over the bulge of his jeans and he softly moaned. "That's interesting if not a little cliché..." you mocked. "Your biggest weakness is this-" you whacked your head on his crotch and Brian loudly groaned feeling the pain spread through his body and fell off of you. "-Always has been." You gritted and staggered to your feet.

You ran up the stairs to your bedroom but Brian grabbed you by the ankles and pulled you back, your face hit against the stairs and you let out yelp full of agony. You could feel the blood slowly dripping from your nose. He flipped you around and pulled you towards him, the back of your head hitting off each stair. He was kneeling on a step with a evil grin on his face. "Nice knickers, petal. Was I getting a treat tonight?" He teased as your dress raised up and caught underneath you as you unwillingly slid down the stairs.

You noticed that he still had a piece of glass caught in a thread on his trousers. You reached down and grabbed it, pressing the long, thin piece of glass to Brian's neck. He gasped but still had a small smile on his face "I'll cut your throat!" You growled.

"Shit, you're so beautiful!" He snapped and managed to pry your hands away so he could breathe a little easier without a shard of glass against his windpipe. You managed to push him off you, you had to get to your bedroom- that was where your gun was. You ran up the stairs and he followed you into the ensuite bathroom. You grabbed his neck and he did the same, only he managed to lift you off the ground. You clawed at his face that had cuts on it along with developing bruises and freckles of blood. Some of it his, some of it yours. "I didn't want it to be like this!" He yelled at you as your legs frantically kicked him and the air.

"Looks like your bad luck has already begun!" You yelled out and escaped your mess of an ensuite bathroom into the bedroom you shared with Brian and grabbed something from under your bed. He did the same and you both instantly recognised the cocking of a gun. You both stood up slowly, pointing the weapon at one another and showing no mercy. "You're a fucking traitor!" You snapped and Brian raised a brow.

"What?!" He kept the gun pointed at you "I think you'll find you're the traitor!"

"Don't give me that reverse psychology bullshit!" You sneered. "Who do you work for?"

"British secret service," he said and you forced a laugh.

"Oh I've had my very own James Bond under my roof and in my bed!" You jibed. "I'm CIA, darling." You shakily sighed "And I have to kill you Brian. He said so." Brian asked who it was you were talking about. "Paul Prenter- He told me you're selling secrets to our enemies."

Brian slowly began to lower his gun but that just made you even wearier. "He said the same about you." Brian turned and grabbed something from the beside cabinet, you still had your gun pointed at him. You dropped it seeing photos of Brian with Paul.

"Oh my god..." it suddenly dawned on you. "It's Paul...it's fucking Paul!" You snapped with tears welling in your eyes- you were about to kill your own husband to protect a man that was selling the secrets. "Fuck! He planned this! The bastard! He's a double agent...He was putting us against each other this entire time because he knew we'd eventually find out. But if one of us wasn't here..." you looked up to Brian who was on the bed looking up at you with sad eyes. A tear slipped down your cheek "I'm sorry I doubted you, Brian."

"That's alright, petal," it suddenly hit him. "Christ...'Mayflower'. Of course!" You raised a brow and he explained. "That's your codename we refer to you by. I call you petal, like a flower and you're Mrs May- hence 'mayflower'. It all makes so much sense now."

You sighed and shut your eyes. "'Red special', was yours. The guitar you made when you were a kid...god Brian! Paul has planned this well. He's expertly put us against each other." You sat on the bed beside Brian, he swiped away the trickle of blood under your nose. "He wants proof of your death by midnight."

"He wants proof of yours..." Brian guiltily grumbled. "We need to have him arrested. We need to get one up on him just like he tried to get one up on us." He glanced to your dresser that was full of makeup and brushes and you followed his line of vision. "You're not the only one that can use makeup, wigs and coloured lenses..." you nodded, getting what he was implying. Paul wanted proof of death and he was going to get it. Paul trusted Brian more than he trusted you, you knew that. The pair of you had clashed more than once. Brian put some dark powder on your neck so it looked like you had been strangled- you could tell that it was making him upset by how realistic the bruising looked.

You looked into his eyes and leaned forward a little, capturing your lips with his. You didn't realise how much tension had built up until he had you pinned to the bed and his tongue was down your throat. You pulled back with a gasp "As much as I'd love to do it, now really isn't the time to have sex," you laughed but Brian passionately kissed you again.

"Five minutes," he murmured.

"Only five?" You teased and he growled. You pulled back "When we're finished with Paul- I'm all yours." You quickly pecked his lips and positioned yourself on the bed as if you had just been killed.

Brian took the photos. "You're going to have to burst my lip or nose so it looks like you didn't go down without a fight." He saw the look of shock and worry on your face as you drawled your bloodied hands away from him behind your back. You weren't going to punch him just for the sake of aesthetics. "It's okay," Brian softly spoke with a loving look in his eyes. "You could never really hurt me..."

Your eyebrows knitted together "I kicked you into a glass table?"

He shrugged a shoulder "Every marriage has its ups and downs." He braced himself for your punch "Now let's bring Paul down. Together."

•••

Paul flicked through the photos and feigned a sympathetic sigh. "I'm sorry the burden fell to you, Brian. I'm sorry she was who she was." He glanced up to him "And I'm sorry about your lip, there," he pointed to his own while looking at the blood that stained Brian's. "Looks like she got you good."

"I got her even better," Brian replied without a hint of emotion in his voice. Paul nodded, trying to hide his smirk. "Did you know she was CIA?" Paul shook his head no and Brian found himself doing the thing you explicitly told him not to do. You told him not to get angry with Paul. You had brought backup to Paul's house and you were currently stealthily creeping through the hall down to the living room where the two men were. "Are you sure?" He seethed getting a little too into acting out his feelings. "Because she was the love of my life and you made me kill her!" He loudly yelled at Paul who was beginning to grow tired of Brian and his snappish attitude.

You went wide-eyed seeing Paul pull out a gun and point it at your husband. "I wish you both just did the deed to yourselves. That you'd both die a painful, pittyful death in your house somewhere stupid like in your bedroom or on the stairs. The pair of you are the best- too good. I knew you'd eventually figure out what I've been doing. I'm fucking sick and tired of the two of you." Paul menacingly smiked "Tell your wife I said hello when you reach hell." The gun went off and Brian braced himself for the searing pain of the bullet going through his flesh- but it never came. Another shot went off and then a swarm of military police and a swat team flooded the room, arresting an injured Paul- who now had a bullet in his arm thanks to you- on the spot.

Brian looked down and saw you lying by his feet in a pool of blood while holding your shoulder. He felt tears stinging his eyes and you groaned and whined in pain. "Move, move mo-" Roger cut himself off when he saw Brian beside you. Brian's face was full of shock. "I'll explain after I've patched her up..." Roger uttered.

You rolled your eyes "Been in the game for as long as me, Bri." You winced and tightly grabbed Brian's hand when Roger injected anaesthetic near your bullet wound to numb the pain before he removed the bullet. "Bri is secret service, Rog." You turned and looked up to Brian "I told you not to piss him off!" You glared at Brian.

"You did smash my bottle of brandy," he playfully retorted and you laughed. Roger just raised a brow at the interaction. Brian softly kissed you and you both lovingly looked at each other. "I suppose I can get another bottle. I can't get another you." He winked and kissed you again.

•••

"Y/N? Where are you?" Brian called out with a voice full of worry when he saw that you weren't in the bed. It was a few days after the incident at Paul's house and you were told to rest up while your shoulder healed.

"I was peeing, Bri..." you climbed back into bed again with a groan. "I am, just like yourself, a trained agent so I am capable of peeing on my own, you know. My shoulder is injured, not falling off." You teased with a smirk and thanked him for the cup of tea he had made you. He connected his lips with yours and slowly fell into the bed on top of you. You bit down on your lip with grin. "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, Mr May?"

Brian smiled into the kiss, being careful with your injured arm but showing you no less love or affection. "Both, Mrs May."

———————–————

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thepinkwriterr · 6 years ago

Text

Loner // IT 2017 Chapter Fourteen

Mazzy Star - Fade Into You

Fade into you Strange you never knew Fade into you I think it's strange you never knew

Tuesday

April Fifth, 1993

I got up that morning, throwing on one of Bill’s sweaters and some shorts. The weekend was so hectic, I was actually looking forward to school. At this point, school would be more tame than home.

Kali and James were still fucking. I heard them downstairs on Monday night, watching a movie. I ignored them as I went about my morning routine. I still hadn’t talked to either of them.

The three day weekend lasted too long. I couldn’t wait to get back to school and passive-aggressively rub it in Casey’s face that I had Bill.

There was a beep from outside and I ran out the door, and into Bill’s car. “Morning babe.” I smiled, leaning over to kiss him.

“Morning.” He kissed back. As he drove down my street, I turned on the radio. I gave him one of my favorite cassette tapes. It was the mix tape Kali had borrowed that James had made. Neither of us could make mix tapes.

“I’m half the man I used to be…” I sang along to the music. “Half the man…” Bill hummed. “Feelin’ uninspired, think I’ll start a fire. Everybody run, Bobby’s got a gun.” I sang again.

“Think you’re company, than she tells me I’m a creep.” Bill chimed. “Friends don’t mean a thing, guess I’ll leave it up to me.” That was me.

He pulled into a parking space, turning the car off. We walked in, hand in hand. It was second nature to us now, we had no second thoughts on the PDA.

“Oooooo, look at the newly weds!” Ben laughed as we walked over. “Duh dum dum dum duh dum duh dum!” Bev sang.

I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Where’s everyone else?” I asked. “Richie drives Eddie and Stan to school. The ole blue baby is a taxi.” Beverly patted her hand against Ben’s shoulder.

I laughed again. “Why are you so smiley?” Beverly poked at my ribs. I giggled,”I’m just so happy!” I grabbed Bill’s hand.

“Uck! Get a room.” I heard a familiar voice grumble behind me. “Don’t be so rude, Richie!” Eddie whisper shouted. “Richie Tozier, always a pleasure.” I smiled at him. He rolled his eyes.

“Hey, uh, thanks for…what you did Friday.” Eddie leaned over, whispering to me. “No problem.” I whispered back.

“Why so secretive Danielle?” Richie asked wryly,”Does someone have a wittle cwush on Eddie bear?” He asked in a baby voice, his bottom lip protruding his top. I felt Bill’s grip on my hand tighten at Richie’s joke.

I rolled my eyes,”You’re such an ass.” Richie opened his mouth to rebuttal, but the school bell rang, interrupting him. “Saved by the bell…” I heard Eddie mumble under his breath. I laughed, whatta dork.

I went through the day, smiling. And at lunch time, I actually had people to sit with! That’s right, not just Kali, put a whole bunch of people!

Richie sat across from me, on the middle. Eddie sat next to him on the end, Stan seated next to Richie. I was in the middle, Bill to my left, Bev to my right. Ben ate with his popular friends.

Apparently, they didn’t mind this. Beverly was pretty popular, and so were Bill and I. Eddie, Stan, and Richie were all the “losers” of the group. But, how I looked at is, we were all losers.

Eddie’s mother was overbearing, so he never went out. And when he did, it was only with us. Stan is a Jew, who is very nervous and shy.

Richie is a grungy stoner who’s parents don’t care about him. Bill writes the school paper and wear sweaters. Of course people think they’re losers. I don’t think they’re uncool. They’re pretty fun.

When lunch was over I went to the library for study hall. I sat at my usual seat, pulling out Lolita. I looked over the cover, the memory of Kali and I rushing my mind.

“Uck, that is just disgusting! How could you write this filth?” Kali scowled, leaning back on the sofa. I shrugged,”I can see the beauty in it. At least he loved her.” She scowled animatedly at me. We both laughed, turning back to the movie.

“Y’know who I would love to be Lolita to?” Kali asked, turning toward me,”My brother?” She scoffed,”No, listen! I would love to fall in love with Brad Pitt! He is so dreamy!” Kali smiled, clasping her hands over her heart. I rolled my eyes,”You’re such a superficial bitch.” “You know it.” She smirked. “If I were to fall in love with a man…it would have to be for his heart and nothing else.”

God, I missed our movie nights. I missed laughing for hours over stupid things we said while talking. I miss our serious talks. I even miss that one time we got caught smoking pot and cried while talking to our parents.

But this is her fault. She’s the one who started it. But, maybe- “Hey girlie.” Beverly interrupted my thoughts. I realized I had been staring at the front cover of my book for about five minutes.

“Why ya staring at your book?” Bev asked, brows furrowed.

Kali’s POV

I sat up in James’s bed, dread consuming me. I miss Danielle so much. When Friday night rolled around and I didn’t get to watch movies with her in our pj’s, I felt like a piece of me was missing.

And she was. She was a huge piece of me. Without Danielle, there would be no Kali. And I know without Kali there would be no Danielle.

But when I see her, she looks like she’s thriving without me. She’s so happy. Meanwhile, I’m falling apart. I just can’t seem to be happy.

I looked down at Jame’s sleeping, peaceful face. I wonder if he knows how I feel. I doubt it.

When I woke up in the morning James was making breakfast. As I stood up I realized the only clean clothes I had here were some shorts. I felt panic rush my veins. What was I going to wear?

I scurried into the kitchen in just a sheet,”Can I borrow some of your clothes?” “Of course.” He chuckled. “Thanks.” I quickly stepped back to his room.

I pulled a white t-shirt out of the back of his closet and his flannel from the floor. This’ll have to do for now. God, I look like a dirt ball.

Sat at the kitchen table, eating my pancakes slowly. “Y’know,” I spoke through my mouth-full of pancake,”I can breakfast one of these days.”

James chuckled as he sat across from me,”Alright. Tomorrow you can make breakfast. A special treat for my last day here.”

I choked on my pancake, throwing a coughing fit. “You’re leaving tomorrow?” I exclaimed after I controlled myself.

He nodded. “I would’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t want you to be upset.” “Well, we’ve gotta go for a date tonight!” “I was planning it, Doll face.” He smirked.

Parking in my usual in my usual space, I turned the car off. I covered my eyes with my hands, taking a deep breath in. I exhaled slowly, trying to prepare myself for the day.

I grabbed my bag, then exited the car. I heard my ankle boots click against the road, producing a sound I normally loved. But the enjoyment of the sound was cut short.

Danielle and Bill walked ahead of me, hands clasped. I sighed, pulling my walkman and headphones from my bag. I popped in the mixtape James made me. Yellow Ledbetterchimed through the headphones, filling my head with bliss.

“On a weekend I wanna wish it all away, yeah. And they called and I said that I'll go. And I said that I'll call out again. And the reason I ought ta leave her calm, I know. I said, "I don't know whether I'm the boxer or the bag”.” Eddie Vedder crooned as I walked past Danielle and her friends.

She looked truly happy. Far Behind started as I walked into the bathroom. I sat down against the wall. I stayed there until the bell rang.

Most would say eating with you teacher is lame, but eating with my English teacher, Mr. Helms, was quite enjoyable.

It was quiet in there, and I got to read a book I always wanted to. After lunch was Math.

After Math class was history. The teacher, Mr. Zigler, was explaining our projects toward the end of class. One of the students raised their hands. Well, that’s new.

“Yes?” He asked, pointing to her. “Will we be able to work in groups?” He smiled,”I just about to say that. Uh, yes, partners, actually.” Everyone cheered, turning toward their designated ‘best friend’.

“But, I get to choose who you work with.” He smiled. Everyone stopped, then groaned. “Oh stop! It is not that bad.” He joked. He grabbed his roster, reading off each persons fait.

“-Stan Uris and Casey-“ Well, that sucks. “-Kali Tozier and Beverly-“ You’ve gotta be fucking with me. First this Danielle thing, now this? What’s gonna happen next? Is James actually gay? Am I gonna catch him fucking Eddie Kaspbrak in his living room? Is my mom gonna tell me she’s been cheating on dad? Am I gonna shut my hair in my car door?

I looked over at Beverly, who had a sour look on her face. I’m not so happy about it either, Buttercup… The bell then rang, interrupting my pouting.

My last period of the day was study hall. Where I was headed to now, coincidencedently.

The metallic cover of the Walkman shone against the overhead lights as I pulled it from my bag. I secured the headphones over my ears, hitting play on the walkman.

Fade Into You floated from tape to the machine, through the headphone wires, into the speakers, through my ears and into my brain. As I made my way down the laminated hallway, I really payed attention to the lyrics of Mazzy Star.

I want to hold the hand inside you

I want to take a breath that's true

I look to you and I see nothing

I look to you to see the truth

You live your life

You go in shadows

You'll come apart and you'll go blind

Some kind of light into your darkness

Colors your eyes with what's not there.

Fade into you

Strange you never knew

Fade into you

I think it's strange you never knew

As I sat in the back of the library, I felt tears brim in my eyes. Danielle’s absence mixed with the beautiful lyrics were enough to cause the tears. I felt a hot drop on my cheek, gliding down my warm skin.

I stood, gathering my things into my bag. Even the headphones and the walkman. I waited until the bell rang a few minutes later, then left the building. I drove to the nearest record store. I pulled into a space, ripping the key from the ignition.

I got out, storming up to the door of the store. I opened the door, hearing a bell ring upon the door opening. I beelined for the cashier, prepared to ask about where to find Fade Into You.

As I reached the counter, I was faced with Beverly Marsh. The words of my History teacher rang though my mind as I stood at the counter.

She smirked,”What can I help you with?” I sighed shortly,”Do you have any Mazzy Star tapes?” She nodded, lifting up a piece of the counter to walk through the store.

“So, tapes, huh?” “Yup.” “I never liked CD’s much either. Tapes look cooler.” I laughed,”I know right.” Wait! Did I…just agree and laughwith Beverly Marsh? I baffle myself each and everyday.

“I-uh-I guess we gotta work together in history, huh?” “Yeah,” I sighed again,”That’sgonna suck.” I shrugged. “Maybe not.” She turned and walked back to the counter.

I furrowed my brows at her statement, but brushed it off. God, I can’t stand her. I plucked the tape from the rack, then went to the counter.

“Have a nice night.” Beverly waved. “Mhm.” I hummed as I walked out the door.

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