#the fowl twins get what they deserve

[af-answers]

Hi Minerva, how are you? Do you like Artemis?

Minerva: These days, I am good. Not always happy, but good. Artemis is-- Artemis, to me. I liked him, then didn't, then loved him, then didn't, and now-- I can never pretend Artemis doesn't exist, because he helped me, and eased my introduction to the fair folk. But I will not be involved with him. When one is with Artemis, one has to protect Artemis. I have someone else to protect, now.

[serdaig1e]

A Hartemis counterargument I don't get

*Spoilers for The Fowl Twins Get What They Deserve*

I ship Hartemis. I think it's fine if you don't or if you ship him with someone else or whatever, you do you. This post is mostly for Hartemis shippers. But anyways- the main reason people don't ship Hartemis or A/H or whatever you want to call it is because of the species difference and, consequently, the age difference, right? But here's the thing: there are literally TWO OTHER CANNON human x fairy ships-- Turnball and Leonor (which I will 1,000 % admit was toxic- but not because it was human x fairy) and Minerva & that one fairy whose name we don't know, with whom she had an actual CHILD with. Neither of these are met with scorn in any way. I especially want to focus on that last ship, because nobody seemed to think it was weird that Minerva fell in love with a fairy. Minerva herself regretted his death. Human x fairy couples are a thing that has happened before, if you look at the evidence from one of the coded messages at the bottom of one of the books as well. Readers don't seem to think any of these suggestions weird, with the one exception of Hartemis.

Side note-- as to the fairy-outliving-the-human situation, it was stated by Artemis or somebody else at some point, I believe, that his actual lifespan was yet to be discovered, seeing that his existence in clone form brought into play new variables. So.

[valhelos]

Artemis in his bowling tracksuit that was also a suit and tie somehow from that date where he broke up with Minerva that she talked about in ‘The Fowl Twins Get What They Deserve’ (3), as an art prompt? That was always a funny visual to me.

That sounds so fucking wild to me, also if you're wearing a bowling tracksuit that looks like a suit you don't deserve to break up with anyone, Minerva deserves better. He's so cringe fail,,,,

Anyway, Artemis was forced to do an exercise, he is now dead.

Feel free to send more outfit&character combos!

[clairelutra]

so after my attempt at reading six of crows ended in spectacular depression, i realized that i really have missed reading from a physical Book. so i went to the library to look for either old faves or new ones.

genuinely forgot how good published books can be, especially the kids ones that aren't trying to follow up on any particular fad ahdghgf

i got:

the emperor's ostrich by julie berry

the fowl twins deny all charges by eoin colfer

the fowl twins get what they deserve by eoin colfer

cogheart by peter bunzl

white fox by chen jiatong

the emperor's ostrich, as much as i can say halfway through, is so good. the fairy tale style storytelling and chemistry between the two main characters is just.... so nostalgic and delightful. the world is vivid and the way it deals with needing an omniscient narrator is just... fun.

begonia and key (young girl on a quest for her cow and young boy on a quest for a home) just bounce so well. her straightforward, responsible, no nonsense nature and his "i'm a ROMANTIC who will save a DISTRESSED DAMSEL (that's you by the way)" one just... so good.

as much as i can rec anything halfway through, i wholeheartedly recommend the emperor's ostrich by julie berry

EDIT: now having finished it, i can rec without reservations. it's Good.

[turtles-read]

October Wrap Up

I am falling behind my reading goal. Despite this, I remain determined, though I think the 24 books I read in March may have made me over confident. October was a pretty good month for me, book wise.

The seven books I read last month below the cut.

Percy Jackson and the Wrath of the Triple Goddess by Rick Riordan:(4 stars): The new books in the PJO series are just fun. I have a good time reading them. They remind me of elementary school. I will always love Percy and Annabeth and Grover and the antics they get up to. I will read this again when I reread the whole series again. Nothing revolutionary here, but I still loved it.

I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson: (5 stars): I have read this book before. Many times, though not for four years. I was a very different person last time I read this book and I wanted to read it again to see if it resonates the same way. It still resonates! I still love it! But not in the same way. When I read this in high school -- so many times that the annotations in my copy are actually distracting -- I connected with Noah. His fears and his troubles and learning to accept himself. Now, I connect more with Jude (the later years). She wants to be fully understood. I get that. This book will always deserve its special place in my heart.

The Fowl Twins Get What They Deserve by Eoin Colfer: (3 stars): I finally finished all existing Artemis Fowl books from the extended universe. I have very little to say here. This was a fun read, but I am not its target audience anymore and I accept that. I will give the Fowl books to my kids (when I have them) and even read these to them. But I don't expect to revisit the Fowl Twins before then. That said, I did have fun. Get these books for your grade school kids.

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli: (4.25 stars): I will repeat what I said when I finished this book in the middle of the night. Resonated with me and hurt me in a good way. I cannot emphasize enough how much this would have meant to me in high school. Much the way Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda did. No one should ever have to be outed or come out before they’re ready or in a way that isn’t about them. I will be reading this again. I should probably also read Simon again now that I think of it.

Loveless by Alice Oseman: (3.5 stars): I have been on a YA queer lit kick. Alice Oseman's novels felt like the next logical step. I love the Heartstopper books and novellas. I am enjoying her other novels too. Loveless is great for understanding the Aro/Ace perspective. This one maybe didn't resonate with me as much as some of the other books have, especially because the main character spends much of the book hating herself. This book is great and important. Not my personal favorite though.

Critical Role - The Mighty Nein: The Nine Eyes of Lucien by Madeleine Roux: (3 stars): I have had the Critical Role novels on my TBR for a while since I want to know more about the universe and expanded stories of the characters. I put holds on all of them in Libby and this one came in first. I liked it, though a lot of it was the same as what happened in the end of the campaign. It was fun to get Lucien's perspective on the whole somnovem saga. I probably won't reread this, but it was fun to listen to the audiobook. Plus having the whole cast reading their parts was great.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman: (4.5 stars): This was a favorite read from this month for me. I loved the characters and the fact that while, yes, the story was queer, it wasn't really about that. Nor was it a love story. I liked the mystery and the friendship. I will absolutely be reading this one again. I loved this book, I simply don't have a lot to say.

Happy reading!!

[rayghosts]

it's the fowl twins get what they deserve

jk rowling: wrote a childrens book series in the 2000s about a society of outcasts, which attracted a lot of queer fans because of its themes on acceptance. comes out as transphobic, tweets out "merry terfmas 😘," and proceeds to write a crime novel about a man who disguises himself as a woman to kill people

eoin colfer: wrote a childrens book series in the 2000s that he describes as "die hard but with fairies," which attracted a lot of queer fans because he accidentally gave his male protagonist a feminine name. is confused but supportive of his largely queer fanbase, leaves nice comments on trans artemis fanart, and proceeds to have one of the protagonists in the sequel series marry a ghost princess inhabiting the clone body of her evil uncle, which when she asks if its weird, the protagonist responds with “Maybe people would think you strange back in the olden days, but kids these days don’t care about stuff like insides and outsides matching”

[fan-enby-anonymous]

So, do we think that Eoin Colfer saying trans rights in The Fowl Twins Get What They Deserve was intentional?

[shortace]

Eoin Colfer needs a proofreader who remembers his earlier books better than he does

[artemisfowl-chaos]

The Fowl Twins #3

HOLY SHIT so my pre-order copy arrived today and i read it! so here are some random thoughts, in no particular order - MAJOR spoilers ahead, so read at your own risk

so like let’s start with

MINERVA

Eoin fORGOT HOW TO SPELL HER LAST NAME

it was “Paradizo” but for some reason in the new book it’s “Paradiso”

she’s also a redhead now? i swear she was a blonde? idk i guess she must have dyed her hair

also she has GNOMMISH TATTOOS which i love sm

she runs a smuggling ring with a bunch of fairies

she hates the LEP lol

she and Artemis were “an item” briefly

then she dated A FAIRY and had a DAUGHTER

(this fairy is referred to only as her “partner” so like. wlw!minerva)

(also apparently Root married a human? the quote is “the legendary villain Turnball Root’s own brother’s partner had been a human” so uhh okay then)

oh and Minerva is pissed about how she comes across “like a supporting character to the great Artemis Fowl” in TLC which i love

she hates the LEP so much i love her

anyway

MYLES IS SO AUTISTIC-CODED IT’S NOT EVEN CODING ANYMORE

like these two quotes

basically for context, Lazuli falls asleep and accidentally heals him and one thing she heals is his anxiety

“So I urgently need to speak with Lazuli before she randomly cures me of something else that is not an illness.”

“his frontal lobe became purely his own once more - something even Lazuli’s magic had not been able to heal, as it was not an illness, exactly”

like that’s just- THE AUTISTIC VIBES

Myles Fowl is autistic and y’all can fight me on this

also! he gets magic! and it’s BAD I DO NOT LIKE IT AT ALL

he is?? a dwarf?? apparently??

his jaw unhinges, he does the *fart thing*

like what the fuck

oh and speaking of “what the fuck”

BECKETT?? MARRIES?? A GHOST?? FROM THE 1900s??

yes okay it’s totally a platonic marriage (he is 12!) and also Because Myles Has A Plan

but uhh

although i do love their friendship! the ghost’s name is Daphne, Daff for short and she’s AMAZING

i love how this book really shows how smart Beckett actually is

he’s so overlooked by everyone but HE DOES SMART SHIT

oh fuck but uhh

WHISTLE BLOWER DIES 😭😭😭😭😭😭

(Myles is planning to clone him tho)

oh my fucking god the EPILOGUE

it starts with this quote

“Ho Chi Minh City in the summer. Sweltering by anyone’s standards. Myles Fowl would not have been willing to put up with such discomfort had not something extremely important been at stake. Important to his plan. Well, one of the plans.”

we find out who Lazuli’s mother is!

IT’S THE SPRITE

FROM THE FIRST BOOK

THE ONE WHO GIVES ARTEMIS THE BOOK

SHE’S LAZULI’S MOTHER

AND ALSO A WARLOCK

oh and we finally get to meet another Fowl!

the twins’ Uncle Foxy

he seems cool

he’s willing to lie to Angeline on the twins’ behalf (if they pay him)

oh my god they turned Holly into a RULE-FOLLOWER

apparently she’s strict and by-the-book

no i do not believe this

she’s HOLLY SHORT

she doesn’t FOLLOW RULES

(she doesn’t actually appear but Lazuli mentions her a few times)

oh yeah and did i mention GHOSTS EXIST

it’s like a major plot point

Myles creates a solution that lets people see ghosts

Lord Teddy basically murdered his entire family

so their ghosts help the twins + Lazuli to fight him

also Angeline has a contact in the Kremlin

which i love

(it raises so many questions about Angeline's backstory tho-)

but yeah!

those are my thoughts!

(i might do another post with my fav quotes later)

overall i think it's a really good book

it adds to the world building in Eoin's usual chaotic way

like ghosts? so much potential for more ghost villains at some point

tldr?

Minerva is a wlw icon and I love her

Myles is autistic and you can't convince me otherwise

WHY IS MYLES A DWARF NOW I DON'T UNDERSTAND

Beckett gets platonic-married to a ghost??

THE SPRITE FROM THE FIRST BOOK IS LAZULI'S MOTHER

ghosts. I want more ghosts. Now that we know ghosts canonically exist I want CONTENT

[grass-and-citrus]

I knew about this in a more general sense (like the fairy folk driven underground, the mixing of Christian and pagan mythos) but I love how you really went out and searched out sources to get into all this detail! Something I’ve always found interesting but never had the motivation to research, ha!

The story of Oisín is particularly interesting to read about considering the time travel shenanigans in the Lost Colony, although thankfully a much milder version! 

One thing I’ve thought about religion and spirituality pertaining to the books is how the Last Guardian and the Fowl Twins (specifically “Get What They Deserve”) seem to show that both ghosts and some form of afterlife are canon, which brings some very interesting implications! 

In Artemis Fowl is Catholicism canonically correct? Like is god canonically real and Catholic?

The fairy from book one is hurt by holy water??

How does this reconcile with how the fairies get their magic? Don't they have an earth goddess?? Is god real and Catholic but only for humans?? I'm losing my mind over here

[redtyrannoranger]

[iesnoth]

Just finished the last Fowl Twins book, and while I think most of the trilogy has been surface level and weirdly paced, Colfer's strong suit continues to be characters.

Personally, I like the way Minerva changed (the last time we saw her she was 12, and now she's in her late 20s at least). She's the anti Artemis in every sense of the word, while still being super smart.

Myles' reveal is.... odd. I see where Colfer was coming from, it definitely was a blow (lol) to Myles' ego, but... Really?

Finally, though Lazuli wasn't involved as much as I'd like, her plot line was a really nice tie in. I'm happy for her.

All in all, an enjoyable experience. I'd like more books about the Regrettables, though tighter plots and less toilet humor is preferable.

[me-fangirlingxxx]

I was very excited for TFT book 3 but after reading some spoilers.....I really don’t know anymore

[goodgrammaritan]

Lazuli Heitz was up to her neck in physical turmoil, and from the neck up she was steeped in emotional turmoil, so all in all, it was a full-body-turmoil experience.

The Fowl Twins Get What They Deserve by Eoin Colfer

[cassiopeiachase]

AF AU ideas

1- Fowl twins v.1

first and foremost one of my favs: Artemis and Orion are really just twins. Maybe they grew up together, in which case how would this personalities be different? maybe it's a separate at birth deal? Regardless, in my mind it features Arty/Holly's amazing platonic duo + Orion who is hopelessly in love with his twin’s best friend, both of whom have *zero* tolerance for his romantic ways. Thanks to my sister for the idea

2- The Opal effect

K I've seen this one all over the fandom, I don't remember where I saw it first. It helps me sleep at night to imagine that, after the murder of young Opal, and the subsequent reversal of all things Koboi, since she was the one to murder him, Root is brought back to life. Not quite sure how, but he is resurrected and the world becomes a little bit better. Maybe he seeks out Holly and Trouble and returns to the LEP. Maybe he finds out a new life in some foreign local. Either way, he's back and I am happy.

3- The new Regrettable!

*Get what they deserve spoiler ahead!

Alr, read GWTD back in October and, I for one absolutely loved the character of Daphne and her relationship with Beckett. I definitely think they are soul mates of some kind and I love it. In this AU Daphne is alive and initiated into the Regrettables and joins them on all future missions. She quickly becomes friends with the rest of the main cast. Not sure how she would be alive, maybe she just was born in our time instead of Victorian London. Maybe after the shenanigans on the isle of St. George she somehow stays on this plain and acquires a body (perhaps a clone grown by Miles) anyway I love her character and wish we could've seen more of her!