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controld3vil · 1 month ago

Text

letting them pick your weapon

pairings: yelena belova, bucky barnes, john walker, robert reynolds/sentry, ava starr/ghost, taskmaster (comic ver.), alexei shostakov/red guardian x gn!thunderbolts!reader

synopsis: The fact that you value their opinion catches them off guard.

notes -> working on requests rn, but inbox’s still open !! I WANNA WRITE MORE tags/cw: inaccurate characterization/have not seen the film, minor scene mention (it’s in the trailer!), descriptions of weapons (flash bombs, bucky’s grappling hook, retractable shield, emergency teleporter, static boots, weapon gauntlet, combat enhanced gloves) headcanons can be read as platonic/romantic

YELENA BELOVA

-> believed you were joking at first. her? you have lost your mind if you thought she would be a good idea to offer advice to. but because it’s you, she’s willing to consider your preferences and style of combat. most of the team already use guns, tactical knives for hand-to-hand combat. you’re a great candidate for any challenge, so she’s not going to pick something easy. if you wanted easy, you would’ve asked someone else.

“Well, I’m flattered you think so highly of me,” The former Black Widow turned to you with a delighted grin slowly spreading across her face. It’s obvious how smitten she is after your suggestion regarding the weaponry. Valentina had experts for those kinds of things: weapons, gear, and training. Yet, you sought her out for her opinion. Yelena rarely swoons at compliments, but you make her feel lighter on her feet on rare occasions.

“Is it so wrong not to?” you jest with a smirk. You continued down the hallway of the Tower. The armory is built with a fingerprint pad at the end of the hall. Once you are allowed access, the bulletproof doors open.

“You’ve got quite the selection,” Yelena notes, her eyes scanning the close-combat display. A few new additions catch her eye – one’s she’s certain weren’t there last week. It’s obvious you favor hand-to-hand combat over long-range, but she has no intentions of making this easy for you. Yelena knows you enjoy pushing boundaries, not just with weapons, but with strategy, roles, anything that keeps you one step ahead. “You’re still positive you want my advice?”

“Of course!” You beam, scanning down the aisles of the collection Valentina has managed to grab for the team. This was something you wished you had, and not just a temporary use. Still, you’re unfazed by Yelena’s pondering. “You’re one of the best I know of.”

“That you know of,” She corrects, placing her hands on her hips. She’s thinking carefully now. What to give you. Would you like what she suggests? It shouldn’t matter as much, but Yelena now considers your combat style. The way you navigate around the battlefield, how you look both ways before crossing an alleyway. You’re very meticulous when it comes to closed operations, which is why she works so well with you.

You see her grab something from a barrel, close to the heavy weapons. She holds it in her hand, feeling the weight of it. Her palms bounce the spherical object up and down as if it were a baseball and not something to be messed with. Yelena seems satisfied, as you can tell by the glint in her eyes when she turns to you. Her grin is devilish as she picks up a few more and lays them out in her hands.

“Flash bombs, huh…” Your expression is neutral, studying them like an ancient artifact. You rarely use them, as it really depends on the mission. If it were a search and rescue, you wouldn’t think to use flash bombs. But then again, it’s slowly that you realize how typical your preferences are. “Never used them.”

“Exactly the point,” the ex-assassin beams with a lighthearted jab. “We rarely use flash bombs– makes it more fun when we do.”

“So you’re suggesting them because you think they’re fun?” You crossed your arms, a smug smile tugging at your lips. You knew better than to expect Yelena to take your request seriously. She was trying to make peace with a past she rarely spoke of. But still, she had a way of making her life a hell of a lot more interesting.

“Flash bombs are like party tricks–best when no one sees them coming,” she said with a pout, holding one up like it was a priceless treasure.

BUCKY BARNES

-> question your mental fortitude. are you serious? but then he listens to you spouting about his days as the Winter Soldier. he doesn’t think highly of those days but the way you boast about his expertise is almost bizarre. do you admire him? that makes him feel oddly appreciated and conflicted. however because of your persistent pleas (you said please once!), he complies and leads you to his room.

“Where did you think we were going?” The team leader grumbled, eyes fixed ahead as he passed Walker’s door without so much as a glance. There was a hint of playfulness in his voice–subtle, nearly invisible–but you caught it. You always did with him.

He didn’t look at you. He rarely did when he was in one of these moods. Still, you followed close behind, practically on his heels like a loyal, overly eager puppy. And you couldn’t have looked more pleased. Because the truth was, you never expected to be allowed into Bucky’s room.

“I mean no one’s allowed in your room,” you said, your voice light, stating the obvious.

That made him stop.

Bucky turned to look at you, his expression unreadable. To anyone else, he probably seemed annoyed–grim even. But you had spent enough time watching the subtle gestures to notice the truth. The slight droop in his eyes. That flicker of something softer.

“Well– you’re the leader,” you added quickly, voice quieter now, “and out of respect, I just… never thought I’d be invited.” Now he looks at you even more deeply. Great, now he looks like a kicked puppy.

“I mean, I appreciate the kind assumption, but really–” he pauses, eyes locking onto yours with surprising intensity. “You’re always welcome. If you need anything, that is.”

You nod, taking in the quiet sincerity in his words. For a moment, it felt like you two had cleared the air. The weight of the conversation felt lighter, more comfortable.

When he opens the door, he steps aside to let you enter first.

Bucky’s room is nothing out of the ordinary. It was plain and expected, maybe, but not without hints of the man who lives there. A few photos hang crookedly on the wall. Clothes are scattered on the floor, like they were left there in a hurry or maybe forgotten. He doesn’t spend much time here, but it’s undeniably his space.

“Sorry for the mess.” He passes by you and heads to his closet. You watch as he grabs a case, pulling it down with the kind of care that says it’s something important. You have no idea what’s inside, but you can guess. What screams Bucky Barnes? Probably a custom-modified handgun. Maybe a combat knife with a story behind it.

“Here it is,” he says, setting the case down on the bed. You stare at it, curiosity buzzing as he unlatches the safety lock. His gaze flicks to yours for a split second before he opens it. And when you finally see what’s inside, you can’t help it.

You laugh.

Bucky turns to you, almost abruptly. “What’s so funny?”

Your eyes cross his. “Is this the grappling hook you used to destroy that military vehicle when you were chasing us?” Recognition flickers in his face. The realization hits him–it is the same one. And for a moment, his expression is as unforgettable as the day you first saw him, tearing across the empty drylands on that motorcycle like something out of a war film.

“Oh… right,” Bucky says, rubbing the back of his neck, guilt creeping into his voice. “Sorry. I didn’t exactly plan that part out.”

“It’s alright…” You said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. The light streaming through the window catches the gleam of his metal arm, making it shine with an almost haunting beauty. “We're past that now.”

His eyes held a longing, a deep, mysterious intensity that you couldn’t quite figure out. He glances back at the grappling hook, it’s been since the beginning of your journey together as a team. He hasn’t used it since then, storing it as a keepsake, but now he’s looking at you.

“It’s yours now."

JOHN WALKER

-> gives you a skeptical look. you know yourself best, why would you go out of your way to ask him? doesn’t turn down the suggestion, but will constantly ask you why. He's been in the military, served two tours in Afghanistan. All he’s ever good for is punching things and shooting. And now, Valentina has given him a mediocre shield in place of Captain America’s. It’s safe to say he doesn’t choose his weapons, he earns them.

“I thought Yelena would be the one to ask, not you.” Walker doesn't seem just mildly annoyed; no, he’s genuinely in disbelief. No one’s ever asked him for a weapon before, and while his options were somewhat limited, he’s beginning to think that with the super serum coursing through him means he’s capable of more than he used to be. But his go-tos have always been the same: his shield and gun.

“You’re a strong guy,” you shrug casually, stripping off the protective gear you’d brought along. The two of you had just finished an operation, and the exhaustion was settling in, yet you couldn’t ignore the curiosity that spurred your suggestion. “I trust your instincts.”

Walker just stares at you, the look on his face speaking volumes. Seriously? He’s caught off guard. After everything that’s happened, now you’re asking him? But you can see he’s weighing your words, even if it’s only for a moment.

“You should trust your intuition,” he says, his tone softening just a little, though the faint skepticism still lingers. “Choose whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Comfortable?” You raise an eyebrow, pretending to think it over. “Well, if comfortable means picking a weapon that might get me killed, then… sure, I’m all in.” You smile, as if this were no big deal, even though deep down, the weight of your decision isn’t lost on you. “I trust you enough to make it interesting.”

The former soldier exhales, clearly irritated, though mostly with himself. You weren’t going to give up, and he knew it. If he let this go now, you’d just come back tomorrow with the same question. You were rarely this persistent, but when you were, there’s no way of convincing you out of it. He could either make a decision now or risk you asking him again later.

“Fine,” he muttered, scanning the armory.

As you busied yourself, putting away gear and organizing supplies, Walker moved around the racks, his eyes flickering over the options. But the more he looked, the more he found himself caught in a mental loop.

The rifle? Too heavy. That pistol? Not enough range for someone with your skills. That polearm? Too awkward for you to wield efficiently.

Finding a weapon that matched your needs, something that fit your style, was proving to be harder than he anticipated. He muttered under his breath, his frustration slowly building. Then he stole a glance at you, assessing. His eyes narrowed, running through the possibilities. He paused. The mission… in that moment. He remembered how you struggled to dodge the bullets while also taking down some thugs. His gaze lingered for a moment longer before he sighed and reached for something on a high shelf.

Before he makes it down, you’re already by his side.

“Whatcha got there?” You look eager, excited by the fact that Walker was this tolerant of your persistent pestering, that he’s willing to go through with his promise.

“A retractable shield.” He removed the cover, and there it was. The shield was smaller compared to Walker’s, but confident in size to contract in and out like a gadget. It had a charred black matte finish, with dark silver lining across the edges. It had an adjustable cuff. It resembled similarly to a Wakandan shield, which Bucky saw during his time there. It was beautiful. “It was a prototype Valentina had ordered for me, but I never used it. I got this one already,” he gestured to his shield, clasped behind his back.

“If you like, you can keep this one.”

“Wait—really?!”

“I mean— I don’t use it, so it’s all yours,” he says delicately, placing it into your hands. “I can teach you a few tricks, too, if you like.”

ROBERT REYNOLDS/SENTRY

-> extra extra nervous. you asked the guy who doesn’t need weapons or any kind of gadget to fight. if any of the members were in the room, they would be looking at you like you were crazy. bob’s first answer is no, but after seeing you pout at his refusal, he’s quick to please you. but then again, he has no idea what he’s doing.

“Okay! Knives, guns—uh, what are you looking for?” You appreciate the effort of his trying to act like he knows what he’s doing. But he’s trying desperately to meet your expectations. Bob looks nervous, like a lamb to the slaughter in the weapons room, jumping from cabinet to cabinet, looking at all of the variety.

“Just something new to try out,” You grin, letting his nervous energy follow him around. You stand by the doorway and watch as Bob tries to analyze each piece of equipment.

“Uhm—are you looking for something practical or—“

“Bob,” that startles him, making him freeze momentarily before meekly turning to face you. He was expecting you in mad rage, yet you weren’t. You just had a cute, goofy smile on your face. “Pick something with your heart. I know whatever you choose will be fine.”

It’ll be fine. He thinks to himself, before nodding, allowing his nerves to slowly subside. Bob takes a deep breath, and in slow strides, he reaches out to something.

When he turns, your gaze follows, all innocent and cute.

“Ahh, an emergency teleporter!” You’re in awe because it was something you didn’t think Bob would pick as his first choice. There were plenty of gadgets you thought of— force fields, bulletproof vests, iron-plated brass knuckles.

“Thought it might come in handy,” he nervously laughs, fiddling with the device, not knowing what to do with his hands. “Uhm— you know, in case you have to go on missions with me— and I don’t know— if something were to happen—“

You could practically see his thoughts unraveling from where you stood, Bob always rambled when he was anxious. But the fact that he was worrying about your safety left a warm, fluttery feeling in your chest.

“Hey– I get it,” you say gently, taking the teleporter from his hand. Only then does he realize he’d been speaking out loud, not just thinking it. He freezes, suddenly stiff and wide-eyed, like a deer caught in headlights. Embarrassed and tense. You offer a reassuring smile, one that says you don’t mind if anything, you appreciate it.

“It’s smart to have a backup plan,” you add. “And hey, maybe once this mission’s over, we’ll use it to teleport straight to that pizza place.”

AVA STARR/GHOST

-> pokes fun at you. jokes about all the possibilities of how you’ll slip up with whatever item she picks. obviously you don’t take it to heart, but ava’s light-hearted nature is a breath of fresh air— after so many grueling missions, her jokes are something that keeps you motivated for the next. need advice on using the element of surprise? she’s your gal!

“I mean, come on–sneaking in with suppressed pistols but still blowing the whole operation?” Ava giggles, clearly enjoying herself while you look away, pretending to be interested in the horizon.

“It was one of my first missions, okay?” you snap, pouting as a hot mix of embarrassment and irritation bubbles up inside you.

“Yeah, yeah—amateur,” she teases, ducking her head and biting back another laugh.

“Oh, like you didn’t have any screw-ups when you started?”

“Don’t even get me started.”

You raise a brow. “Well? I’m listening.”

“I’m not telling you,” Ava says with a teasing hum as she strolls toward the armory, already scanning the gear selection menu. You trail after her, fuming.

“I just told you my most embarrassing story, and you won’t even share yours? That’s not fair!” Steam practically pours from your ears. You’d laid bare your humiliating failure, and Ava–cool, composed Ava, refuses to give even a scrap in return.

But instead of responding, she flashes a sly smile. “Because I got you something better.” She stops in front of a reinforced gear locker, a sleek metal container stacked with tactical essentials: vests, gloves, helmets. Everything you’d expect. But apparently, Ava has something different in mind. You pause, watching as she places her hand on the scanner. With a soft click and mechanical hiss, a hidden shelf slides out.

It gleams. Brand new. Sleek like fresh sneakers out of the box. Ava hums before she accesses the armory, heading to the gear selection.

“For when you’re trying not to sound like a herd of elephants,” she smirks, nodding to a pair of matte-black static boots. She leans casually against the frame, one eyebrow raised in silent amusement.

You blink at her, deadpan.

“Seriously?”

“I mean, I can hear you walk from your bedroom to the kitchen–from my room,” Ava says, casually shrugging like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You blink. That’s new information.

“Wait… I’m just a loud walker?” She gives you a pointed look, and suddenly it all clicks. “That explains why Walker’s always giving me weird looks,” you mutter, half to yourself. “Guess my feet have a mind of their own.”

Ava snorts. “No, love–you just have really bad shoes.”

TONY MASTERS/TASKMASTER

-> looks your way in deep silence. for how long you’ve known each other, you’re starting to believe tony chooses not to talk. he expresses much more with his actions, such as offering you extra bullets, or medical tape if things go south. tony is an experienced man with many talents, he’s able to copy and replicate his opponent’s moves. he’s done the same with teammates, with you when training, allowing you to point out the mistakes you hadn’t seen there before. sometimes you think he knows you better than yourself.

“A weaponized gauntlet, huh?” you say, not even pretending to be surprised when Tony hands it to you, seemingly out of thin air. No trip to the armory, no formal request. Apparently, Tony knew you were going to ask him about this and waited for you to ask.

You study the gauntlet closely, fingers tracing its sleek design. Every button, switch, and panel feels deliberate. Precise. You press one. Click! A retractable blade slides out with satisfying ease. Another press–a grappling line. Then a short-range stun charge. Then a blinding flash ejector. You can’t help it. A grin creeps across your face.

This was so him.

Tony embodied versatility in his work. He didn’t rely on brute force–he struck with speed, precision, and timing. This gauntlet? This gauntlet was just like him: tactical, efficient, and sharp.

“Thank you,” you say softly, still a bit in awe as you reset the device to its default mode. Your eyes are locked on the gauntlet, taking in every detail. But Tony’s? His eyes haven’t let you once.

If the circumstances were different, you might’ve mistaken this moment for something romantic.

“It’s pretty neat, has everything I need,” you say, trying to fill the silence with something, anything. You don’t mind the quiet, not really, but sometimes the stillness between you feels too heavy not to break. Tony doesn’t reply. Not verbally, at least. But you can tell his focus has shifted, drawn in closer. He’s leaning slightly toward you now, just enough for you to notice the space closing.

You feel compelled to try the gauntlet on. As you unfasten the straps and slide it onto your wrist, it clamps down, not tightly, threatening. More like a perfectly fitted bracelet. Secure and purposeful. There’s a subtle hum as the device calibrates, adjusting to the shape of your hand. The pressure eases, and it begins to feel more like a part of you than an accessory. Almost like a second skin.

Tiny scanners flicker along your fingertips, mapping them precisely–each digit now linked to a specific function, a silent promise of the power you had. You lift your pointer finger, and almost instantly, a blade slides out with fluid precision.

“This feels like straight-up nanotech…” You murmur, raising your wrist toward the ceiling light, eyes wide with wonder. You probably look like a kid on Christmas morning. If a civilian saw you now, they might assume you’d completely lost it.

“Where did you even get this?” you ask, unable to hide your curiosity. Tony tilts his head, deliberate and unreadable. You already know he won’t answer, but that never stopped you from asking him pointless questions anyway. It’s become a quiet repetition between you.

You lower your arm, bring the gauntlet down to chest level–just enough to create a sort of invisible line between you and him. A barrier, but a playful one.

“If you ever need it,” you say, mimicking his earlier head tilt with a smile, “just ask.”

ALEXEI SHOSTAKOV/RED GUARDIAN

-> very excited. so excited you asked him! alexei is really a lovable guy— even though he often doesn’t use any weapons or gadgets, he thinks of his teammates whenever he goes out window shopping. he sees a new brand Glock 19 by the window? yelena would love it! an energy stabilizer on the dark web? bob’s gonna flip! but you? good old you get special treatment because he’ll personally get you whatever you want.

“When I heard you needed a new weapon, I was so happy!” Alexei beams as the two of you make your way into the living room. His accent thickens with excitement as he waves a hand. “Not in a bad way, of course, but it’s good, da? Trying something new!”

“You get me, Alexei,” you say, arms crossing instinctively. Apparently, you weren’t the only one picking up on your growing restlessness. Same weapons, same tactics, and same rhythm, it all started to feel stale. You figured switching things up might help you see things differently.

Everyone on the team had their niche. Alexei, with his brute strength. Bucky, his guns, and that metal arm. Ava could phase through about anything. Everyone had their thing. And you? You’d been stuck in the same position for far too long.

“That is why I was so excited when I found this,” he says, crouching to pull a box from under the couch with a mischievous grin.

Your brows lift, your curiosity piques. “What’ve you got?”

“Close your eyes!” he orders, and you obey, hands outstretched like a kid waiting for a surprise. Behind your closed lids, you hear the ripple of tape, the crinkle of bubble wrap, and then clank... a solid metallic sound, followed by the stretch of fabric. Then something is gently placed into your palms.

It’s lighter than you expect. Smooth and flexible, but as your fingers trace further, you find the contrast, the cold, hard metal beneath the fabric.

“Open your eyes!” he announces, barely able to contain his excitement.

You do. And you’re impressed.

Combat-enhanced gloves, sleek Kevlar-weave across the surface, making your hands feel impossibly light and agile. Carbon-titanium plates reinforce the knuckles and strike zones, and the inside? A smart gecko-grip polymer, designed to boost grip on any surface.

You stared, stunned. Not just by the gloves, but by the fact that Alexei went through the trouble to find them. Valentina might have gotten you something, if she wasn’t constantly ranting about budget cuts. But this? This came from someone who genuinely wanted to help.

“You really are the best,” you say, laughing softly as you wrap your arms around his neck, the gloves still clutched in your hands. He lets out a big, satisfied huff of a laugh, and when you pull back, his smile nearly outshines the room.

Who could hate him? You hadn’t known Alexei that long, but somehow he already understood you better than most.

“I know you like your shooting and whatnot,” he says, mock innocent. You roll your eyes and give him a playful jab to the shoulder.

“But I also know,” he grins, “you really like punching things. So I thought–'Hey, you know who’d love combat gloves?’”

You can’t stop smiling. It actually hurts a little, but you don’t care.

“Then I saw them, just sitting there in the market! I couldn’t believe it. Like the universe wanted me to buy them for you!”

“Universe said received,” you say, voice bubbling with gratitude and affection. You look down at the gloves, then back at Alexei. You’ll get him something too. Not because you owe him, but because it’s rare to be known like this. And his gift?

It’s perfect.

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aphroditelovesu · 1 year ago

Note

[🖤] - ''I don't want to force you to be mine, but I will if I have to.’’ + 💔] - ‘’You can't leave me. You will not leave me.’’ For Rhaenyra Drabble after her wife (reader) who while normally happy in their marriage starts to get tired and starts talking back to her after Rhaenyra basically imprisons the reader because she was paranoid about reader cheating on her?

[🖤] - ''I don't want to force you to be mine, but I will if I have to.’’

[💔] - ‘’You can't leave me. You will not leave me.’’

❝ 🐉 — lady l: this ended up becoming more than a drabble but I got carried away... I hope you like it, anon, and forgive me for any mistakes! Good reading! ❤️

❝tw: accusation of betrayal, mention of death, mourning, imprisonment and angst.

❝🐉pairing: yandere!rhaenyra targaryen x female!reader.

❝word count: 1,143.

You felt like a damn prisoner and maybe you really were.

Rhaenyra has become increasingly unstable and possessive over you and she has practically imprisoned you in her room, with only a few servants having access to you.

The reason for all this? She thought you were cheating on her, which was completely ridiculous. You weren't cheating on her and it never crossed your mind to do so.

You valued your life and loved Rhaenyra too much to even think about having a lover. You love her, don't you? You were sure you did it but after she locked you in, you weren't so sure anymore.

''I don't want to force you to be mine, but I will if have to.'' Her words still echoed in your mind and you only realized their weight when she finally lost her head after you spoke against her. The memories of that night were painful and you could still feel Rhaenyra's touch on your skin like fire.

Trapped in that golden cage, you stared at the richly decorated walls of her room, feeling increasingly suffocated. It was a luxury that became a prison, and every exquisite detail now seemed a cruel reminder of her situation.

The days passed slowly, with the routine of servants coming and going, bringing meals and clean clothes. They never exchanged more than a few words with you, and their expressions were always neutral. You wondered if they knew about your suspicions or if they simply followed orders blindly without question.

Rhaenyra visited you often, but your conversations were tense. You could see the paranoia in her eyes, a dark shadow that seemed to grow with each encounter. She asked questions, sometimes calmly and sometimes desperately, trying to get a confession out of you that wasn't there. Each denial from you seemed to fuel even more suspicion in her.

During these visits, you tried to calm her fears, reaffirming your love and fidelity, but your words seemed to lose strength with each repetition. Uncertainty grew inside you, not only about your feelings for her, but also about the future of this relationship that previously seemed so solid.

There were moments of silence, where you just looked at each other, lost in your own thoughts. At those times, you wondered what had happened to the woman you loved, the one who was strong, confident and fair. Now, she was a shadow of her former self, consumed by an irrational fear that was destroying her and you along with it.

You knew that Lucerys' death and the start of the war had affected her even more and you understood. You really did and you couldn't blame you for that. Although you didn't have children of your own, you loved hers as if they were your own and you were also grieving the loss of Luke but nothing justified Rhaenyra's accusations and her actions towards you. You knew it all came from her fear of losing you but that didn't make it any less painful.

The loss of Lucerys was a devastating blow to everyone. Rhaenyra has never been the same since that day. You clearly remembered the moment the news arrived. Her scream of pain still echoed in your mind, and you had felt a deep sadness as you watched the woman you loved fall apart. You tried to be as supportive as possible, to be by her side in every moment of pain, but it was as if an invisible barrier had risen between you.

Rhaenyra had become increasingly vigilant and suspicious. At first, you thought it was just grief manifesting itself in unexpected ways, but as time passed, her obsession grew. She began to question every one of your actions, every word spoken and even the moments of silence. At first, you responded with patience, believing that she would eventually get over it. However, her accusations became more frequent and fierce, culminating in your forced imprisonment.

You tried to justify her behavior to yourself. The coming war, the loss of her son, the constant pressure of claiming the throne and keeping the family together... It was all a crushing burden. And yet, in your most lucid moments, you knew you didn't deserve to be treated this way. Your love and loyalty were never in question. Rhaenyra's fear of losing someone else close to her was understandable, but it could not be a reason to imprison.

When Rhaenyra came to visit you, you decided you had had enough. You needed to make her see reason.

She entered the room, as always, with an expression full of distrust and pain. Her eyes, once so full of life, were now opaque, marked by sadness and fear. She approached you, her steps heavy and her gaze fixed on your eyes, as if she was looking for some confirmation of her fears. And when she noticed something in your gaze, perhaps the determination to get out of this situation, her face became furious and you could see her lips trembling.

''Rhaenyra, I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to hurt you.'' You said, desperation evident in every word.

You took a deep breath, feeling the pain of the situation that was becoming increasingly untenable. Rhaenyra was mired in her own insecurities, and you knew you needed to break that cycle of fear and distrust. ''Rhaenyra, I love you. You need trust me. We are losing something precious in all of this.''

She remained silent, her eyes fixed on yours, as if she was trying to find something in your gaze that could ease her pain. There was a heavy silence, full of unspoken emotions, promises and fears.

You continued, your voice firmer, trying to reach the woman you loved. ''I'm not cheating on you. I will not leave you. We need to find a way to get through this together, before we completely destroy ourselves.''

The minutes passed, and the silence between you was deafening. Rhaenyra seemed to be fighting her own demons, insecurity and fear intertwining in her mind. You knew it was a crucial moment, an opportunity to salvage what was left of your relationship.

Finally, her voice breaking, she whispered, ''You can't leave me. You will not leave me.''

Your heart sank at her words. Rhaenyra was in shambles, and you knew you needed to act carefully, with love and patience. In a calm, low voice, you spoke, ''I am here, Rhaenyra. Let's find a way out of this together. I promise.''

There was a small spark of hope in her eyes, a spark that maybe, just maybe, could be the basis for rebuilding what had been lost. You approached her, reaching out your hand, trying to reach that piece of hope that still shined amidst the darkness.

Perhaps you could bring reason back to Rhaenyra.

#house of the dragon #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #yandere house of the dragon #hotd #yandere hotd #yandere x reader #rhaenyra targaryen x reader #yandere rhaenyra targaryen x reader #yandere rhaenyra targaryen #x reader #drabble #not really #emoji prompt #imagine #yandere imagine #angst #yandere asoiaf

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supreme-leader-stoat · 10 months ago

Note

Response to your reblog before I peace out.

The argument of the immorality of abortion is built on the assumption that life inherently has value. Lives do not have any inherent value, because they are the result of millions of years of naturally occurring processes. These natural processes do not have any inherent moral value; attempting to assign one would involve invoking some sort of "god" that exists beyond the material, observable, provable world we live in, rather than some logical, clear, and distinct notion such as the one attempted to be shown. For these reasons, abortion is morally neutral.

On that note, the morality and legality of abortion are thereby a human notion, with a logically valid -though not logically sound- argument in either direction. The argument presented says that "no human life should be purposefully ended by another human being. Because that's murder." In short, they believe that murder is necessarily and inherently immoral. That's all it is though, a belief: There is no wholly logical ground to stand on with regards to murder being universally bad in all scenarios, because of its' moral neutrality as I proved above. In other words, the morality and legality of aborting a fetus is wholly subjective.

"Do you actually have an issue with my argument that a fetus is a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder[?]"

Yes I do. A fetus is not survivable beyond the confines of the womb for quite some time; in fact, not until right before the fetus is due to become a baby and be born, that ever-reliable 8 month mark after insemination. As such, considering the fetus is unable to survive without constant connection to the pregnant person, it stands to reason that this is an extension of their body at this point, rather than a separate entity. If one intended to claim it still was at the stages before a fetus can survive independently, then consider this implication: Parasites rely on being attached to living beings in order to survive. This includes humans. Therefore, following the earlier claim that "a fetus is a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder," a parasite attached to a human is also a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder. Therefore, it is more reasonable to claim that for most of the pregnancy cycle, a fetus is not a separate entity from the pregnant person, and by extension, "ending its' life" is not murder.

"Babies are people, too, and have the same right to life as an adult."

This is true! Because babies are not fetuses.

Just thought you would want to read this, because anti-choice rhetoric can be very harmful in shutting down the agency of pregnant people and their ability to dictate their own lives. Knowing the direction that restrictions of this kind have gone in the past, those restrictions will not stop after the illegalization of abortion. Please consider who this harms and who this helps before spreading closed-minded rhetoric of that kind.

Either morality (God-given or otherwise, because there are many secular arguments against abortion) exists or it doesn't. There is a line in the sand or there is not. If you truly intend to argue that lives have no inherent value beyond what we assign them, then not only are the two of us operating in completely irreconcilable ethical frameworks, but yours collapses under its own weight; harm, agency, all these things mattering hinges on the idea that humans and (to a lesser extent) other forms of life have inherent worth, inherent dignity, that causing the former and undermining the latter are wrong in and of themselves.

If there is no objective standard on which to hang our arguments, then everything becomes subjective; all that matters is what we value on a social and individual level. And if that's the case, why would I ever bother to value the opinions of you, a stranger on the internet, over my own? It would be unfair and wrong of me not to consider other positions, to try to see things from another person's point of view, but why should I care about fairness or rightness?

Equating an embryo or fetus to a parasite is fallacious and incorrect. Ignoring that by the scientific definition parasites have to be a different species from the host, and that a pregnancy is a two-way street that also provides benefits for the mother, embryos and fetuses are simply living out the natural development cycle that literally every other human being on the planet has gone through. The biological principles at play in parasitism and human reproduction are fundamentally different.

I could keep going. I could match your arguments with my own about how anti-life rhetoric is a slippery slope to eugenics, about how I could just as easily twist your arguments around to make social parasites out of the elderly and disabled; but in this case it's pointless, because I can't even get you to sit down and agree upon simple principles like "human lives have value" and "murder is bad" or even "there is such a thing as objective morality."

#there are pro-choice arguments that I'm willing to give credence #none that have successfully convinced me to become pro-choice‚ but I can acknowledge that they're well-reasoned and made in good faith #but you've somehow stumbled upon the one pro-choice argument that I can give NO credence;#that it doesn't really matter anyway‚ that there's nothing either supernatural or philosophical beyond the material world worth considering #that all questions of morals and ethics ultimately boil down to nothing more than a matter of taste #but the question in that case always becomes‚ “So why are we even discussing it? Why does it matter so much to you that I'm wrong?”

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heartfullofleeches · 2 years ago

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Carnis [Yan Experiment] General Hcs

A little post exploring the character of my new love Carnis Warnings for Cannibalism, Self Harm and Murder.

• Carnis is a lab made Human/Cow Hybrid created with regenerative abilities for the purpose of organ harvesting to be used on ill patients and as a source of food for the population. A shy, anxious creature who only wants to be loved. They are one of around a dozen successful experiments and the only S ranking Hybrid with meat a similar quality to prime Angus beef. The project was shut down by higher ups after complications and the still living subjects were to be sold to the highest bidder. Through biting through their chains and the aid of a third party Carnis was able to escape before the auction. They are presumed to be deceased.

• Carnis knows very little about the human world. As they grew, it was imprinted into their impressionable mind that all they are is livestock. Due to this idea, Carnis may grow upset or feel they are worthless if Reader rejects their offers of fresh meat. They both reject the notion all they are is meat, and clings to it as their only way to get what they desire. Carnis believes love to be a reward for them to gain by doing everything in their power to prove their worth from sacrificing their flesh to keeping a tidy house.

• Carnis prefers they/them pronouns, but as long as they are treated well name/pronouns does not matter to them. She/Her and It are the only ones they don't like as the former doesn't feel right and the latter reminds them of their time in the facility.

• When under extreme bouts of stress, Carnis bites/claws at their skin sometimes until they see bone. The easiest way to negate these reactions is by holding their hands or if they are wearing something that belongs to reader as their scent calms them down and they would hate to get their blood on something that belongs to them.

• Carnis is not aggressive by default nor do they typically rely on violence to get their way, but if they see anyone attack Reader in any form they have little control on what their body tells them to do. This can be something as harmless as a friend teasingly pushing them. When enraged, Carnis will not stop until the threat is neutralize or if Reader is able to smooth them in time. Their teeth and nails are their primary weapons which they will use to rip out the jugular and face of their target. Will cry like a baby afterwards and immediately seek Reader for comfort for what they've done

• Carnis has a habit of repeating words they say and parroting what others say as well. This majorly stims from learning most of their vocabulary from researchers and guards they interact with. They have been shunned for this feat in the past and often try to think deeply before they speak with unfamiliar persons, but with Reader they are at their most relaxed and thus their speech is relaxed as well.

Another thing they only allow Reader to do is touch their hair, horns and tail. Their hair is the only thing that doesn't naturally regenerate which leads to them valuing it more than anything below Reader and their horns and tail have just always been a touchy area considering majority of the population don't have either. Playing in their hair or rubbing their horns are sure-fire ways to smooth them or help them fall asleep during restless nights.

• Junk Food and Candy has always been a luxury to them as their former caretakers withheld them a treats for compliance which is why they attempt to woo Reader with both. It is their go to method of cheering reader up when they are down - keeping various candies and treats on them at all times. Their idolization of sweet and treats runs so deep one reason they may fall for Reader is them just giving them a piece of chocolate.

[That's all for now! I'm literally so obsessed with this little sweetie so there will be more]

#yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere blurb #yandere #Carnis my oc #yandere hcs #yandere hybrid

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fallingdownhell · 2 years ago

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Could I request Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli and Childe finding out their sweet, gentle s/o has a delusion given to them by their father, who is a former Fatui harbinger?

Very interesting concept. I like it!

Characters Included: Diluc; Kaeya; Zhongli; Childe

Content: gender neutral reader; established relationship

Word count: 1k words

Have fun with this!

Diluc

given his history with Fatuis and delusions, he'd want you to get rid of it as soon as he finds out

and if you refused, than he'd still ask you to at least not use it. At all

he knows all to well the effects and sideeffects that using a delusion could bring and he does not want any of it to happen to you

he couldn't bear losing another loved person the same way like he lost his father all those years ago

He can acknowledge it's sentimental value to you, seeing as it was given to you by your father, but it's still a delusion

if you are unaware of its effects, Diluc would take it upon himself to inform you about everything, every little detail he knows about

and if he didn't tell you about his fathers death and the circumstances by then, he would definitely do so now

on one hand, it would serve as an example as to why not use the delusion and on the other hand, he hoped that you would better understand why he absolutely does not want you to use it

if you would absolutely insist on still using it, because it was a gift, he would not like the fact, but keep a close eye on you every time you do so, to make sure you were safe and nothing would happen to you

however, if you insist on using the delusion more and more, I feel like Diluc would have no choice but to leave you and this relationship, since he absolutely does not want to see you succumb to it

he will tell himself that he tried his best to protect you, but in the end, you're still your own human and can make decisions for yourself. And as much as he wouldn't like it, he would never force anything onto you, even if it means the end for you two like this

Kaeya

Kaeya also learned about Delusions and their effects through the events that happened with Crepus when he was still a teenager

he knows that delusions have a close tie with the Fatui

and while he thinks of them as dangerous, he does see the benefits that come with using them as well

so he's torn about it when he learns that you were gifted one from your father

on one hand, he views it as a tool that will allow you to keep yourself safe, since you don't handle a vision and don't belong to the knights of Favonius

on the other hand, he's concerned about the side effects that might befall you when using it excessively

So, the best thing he can think about, is to sit down with you and talk to you about everything. About his concerns, the potential benefits, his overall thoughts..

if you are unaware, he would lay out all the facts for you as well, so that you can decide for yourself how to best handle this situation

the best case outcome for him would be if you agreed to only using it in times of danger with no other way out. It would be the ideal solution

However, in the end, the choice is still up to you, and Kaeya will stick by your side no matter how you decide. He tells himself that he can deal with everything that might be thrown your and his way, so long as you don't leave him as well..

Zhongli

He's painfully aware of the existence of delusions

and while he does not fully understand how exactly they work, he knows that they are dangerous and should be handled with utmost caution

When he finds out that you're in posession of one, he would first ask you how you even got around to one, because that would mean that you had ties to the Fatui themselves

When you told him that your father had gifted it to you, he began to do some research about him and that's how he found out that you father was a former Harbinger

The next thing he would do was figuring out what you fathers intentions were when he gifted the delusion to you. Was he genuinely concerned about you and wanted you to be able to defend yourself if need be? Or did he have some form of hidden agenda in mind?

Overall, Zhongli would try to find out all information possible, trying to answer all his questions before he takes any action whatsoever

He would not be too happy if you decide to keep the deluison, mostly because of it's uncertain origins and effects, but he would also not act against you

Instead, he keeps to monitoring you, making it his duty to remember every little change that may or may not occur to you when using it

And should he notice any bad signs, he would take you to the doctors immediately, wanting to keep you safe as much as he possibly could

Childe

Being a Fatui himself - and a Harbinger at that - he knew exactly what the risks and benefits of using a delusion were

And he was also aware that it should be used sparingly, lest normal people like you want to suffer the same fate as those resistance soldiers in Inazuma did

He knew your father, Cholde had the utmost respect for him, but he would have never thought that the man would gift his own child a delusion, knowing all that he knew about it

He wanted to rip that thing out of your hands, throw it away and tell you to never even think about using something as dangerous as this

Then again, he would only come across as a hypocrite, seeing as he himself was using one, and rather openly and often at that

So that option was out the door right from the start

Instead, he tried to have an open talk with you where he explained everything about delusions to you, hoping that ot would set your mind in the right direction

In the end, the decision is up to you on wether or not you want to use it

But if you do decide on using it, Childe's only demand would be that he would be the one to teach you how to safely use it, so you wouldn't risk too much

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masochist-marmot · 8 months ago

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I hate the Naoto gender discourse

TW: transphobia, gender dysphoria, Naoto Shirogane

First of all, I think it's entirely valid to read whatever you want into fictional characters. Art is meant to be interpreted and to evoke something in the audience, and while it's useful to consider the author's intent, it's just as valid to interpret the text on its own.

In Persona 4, the intended reading is this: Naoto is and has always been a girl who wishes to be taken seriously in her male-dominated field. She confuses these feelings for identifying as a boy, and it's up to our party to set her back on the straight path and accept her role as young woman. Rise is incredibly eager to chastise this "young lady" immediately after learning about the reality, and throughout the game we are helping her to be more comfortable with being a girl. This is quite straightforwardly what the text is saying.

How many fans (me included) see the text is this: Naoto displays signs of gender dysphoria and struggles with their gender identity. Even after you have talked them out of a literal gender-affirming surgery (performed by a mad scientist, because why not make it extra scary to boot), they continue to present as a boy. During the rest of the game as well as Naoto's social link, you and your party can continue to push femininity on them. They're forced into a swimsuit contest, where they refuse to show up on the stage, and Yosuke says he knew it would happen. If you want to date Naoto, you have to pick the options where you tell them you like them as a girl, even though you get more social link points if you say their gender doesn't matter. This implies that Naoto is more comfortable with the way they present now, but feels that they have to present more feminine if they want to date you (which sounds like heteronormative bullshit to me). It's probably not difficult to see why this would make some players uncomfortable.

Now to the point of this post: There's a big (or just vocal?) portion of the fanbase that will call you media illiterate or delusional if you bring up your discomfort with how Naoto's gender was handled. And I can't stand it. As I demonstrated above, I know what the text is saying and have a problem with it. Media literacy isn't just about recognising what is being said, but also why it's being said. And Naoto's character arc displays well intentioned ignorance and heteronormative values at best, and malicious TERF-like ideology at worst. I'm inclined to believe it's the former, as the game and the series more widely don't seem to have a malicious intent behind them, although they certainly have other uncomfortable parts (I could make a very similar post about Kanji).

So why do so many people have an issue with the trans Naoto reading? Well, in games like these, players tend to form strong emotional connections to the characters. I'm guessing that for a lot of people it's important that their waifu is, well, a waifu. (I'm personally too pan to understand this and will advocate using "waifu" as a gender neutral word.) I'm sure some of it is annoyance with the notion of the interpretation contradicting with canon, which is apparently law. People feel like you're projecting something onto the text and not getting the intended meaning. Which feels like a weird point, since everyone is projecting some of their own feelings onto any text. And then there's your good old transphobia that manifests as a myriad of rationalisations (including the one about canon being law). I usually try to understand where people are coming from, but some people can't be reasoned with.

I don't have a conclusion, I just had to get this out.

TLDR; Stop bullying people who choose to view a character through a different lens than you do, and please practice your empathy and critical thinking skills.

#persona 4 #naoto shirogane #trans naoto #gender identity #fandom discourse #rant post

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the-sin-hole · 6 months ago

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fighting a losing battle

stanxreader flashfic, 897 words gender neutral, reader is 21+, no warnings apply i've got a fever and the only cure is pining

+++

Stan wakes up scowling.

This happens a lot, honestly. Whether he's plagued by sour dreams or another random body pain, he doesn't usually wake up on the right side of the bed, so to speak. But this morning he has an entirely new thing to angrily confront in his first few moments of consciousness.

Feelings. Ugh.

He lays in bed as he plays mental damage control. He'd really hoped what he felt last night was a fluke, a byproduct of the environment and the alcohol. Something he'd sleep off, shrug off, look back on and chalk up to a temporary loss of faculties.

The fact that you're the first thing he thought of this morning proves that to not be the case.

A new exhibit at the Shack had broken and caused some damage to your car earlier that week. You expressed your hesitance at the giant fake automaton Bigfoot several times, Stan brushing each of your concerns off one by one. You've only been working there about a month, but you both got along quickly, and he values your input as much as a man stuck in his ways can. Still, your rapport was not enough to convince him that maybe the rickety former carnival attraction wouldn't be able to juggle several coconuts at once. And you were proven right when it flung one of them right into your car's windshield.

Stan knew a guy, as he always does, at the local shop who fixed it for you on the cheap. Still, instead of compensating you financially, he offered to make it up to you by buying you a few cheap beers at the local bar after work on Friday night. You accepted, knowing that was the best you were going to get out of him.

Stan had no nerves going into it. This was just a few drinks with another adult, no big deal. He tolerates your company perfectly well. He thought he might even have a good time. And unfortunately for him, he had too good a night.

You were seated next to each other on stools at the bar, clinking your third beer bottles together. After your sips you both spotted a man with an unreasonably-large handlebar mustache sitting a few spots away. Stan leaned into your ear and cracked a joke. He can't even remember the joke, not anymore, because what happened next short circuited his brain.

Not wanting to alert the victim of the joke to Stan's mockery, you slapped a hand over your mouth as laughs tried to escape. You weakened as your body was wracked with restrained laughter. That weakness combined with your desire to keep the chuckles under wraps led you to turn to your left, towards Stan, and lean onto his side. You pressed your face against his upper arm to help stifle your sounds, placed your other hand on his forearm and squeezed. You remained there for a good ten seconds while your laughs subsided.

Stan was paralyzed. His heart was jumping in his chest. He felt warm, too warm, way too warm, and something tingled deep in his gut. When you finally pulled away and looked up at him, face flushed with mirth, hand now removed to show a wide smile up at him, other hand giving a tighter squeeze to his forearm, he realized to his immense dismay that he wanted to kiss you.

That thought was very quickly replaced by another: "Oh, fuck."

Suddenly his nerves found him. He spent the rest of the night fighting back anxiety, working overtime to entertain and make you laugh that hard again, make you get close to him again. Unfortunately you called it a night after your third round and left to walk back to your apartment, taking with you all the warmth that had found him which he now sorely missed. When he went to bed that night he kept fighting back rushing thoughts about you with the same sentence, repeated increasingly louder the more you wriggled through.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

He repeats that mantra as he gets ready for work, prepares himself mentally to face you when the Shack opens. He's drinking coffee in the kitchen when he hears you enter and take your place at the register to count your till. He sips his coffee and tries to talk himself down.

Last night was nothin'. You just got caught up in makin' em laugh. It's not like they're some big shot. They're just a normal person with normal looks and you feel perfectly normal about them. You're gonna walk in there and it's gonna be fine. You won't feel any of this dumb ooey-gooey bullshit. And if you do, you'll squash it like a bug and never have to deal with it again. You're not gonna let some feelings win out over you, are ya? Hell no. You've got this. You'll win.

He drains the last of his coffee, places the mug in the sink, and walks to the gift shop with an excess of confidence. He reaches the doorway, pushes through. You're humming to yourself as you count your bills, a sweet tune that may as well be a battle cry to him. You register his approach and look up at him, slight smile on your lips and a softness in your eyes that threatens to pierce his defense.

It's fine. You'll win. It's fine.

You say "Morning, Stan", and he loses.

#gravity falls #grunkle stan #stanley pines #stanley pines x reader #back at it again at the mystery shack #inspired by the mitski song. u know the one #sinposts #not smut #sinwrites

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hiddenrose04 · 2 months ago

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The Gloves

His guilt had betrayed him.

He could once pride himself on his ability to mask his true emotions. Anger. Heartache. Disgust. His neutral expression was one praised by his former employer, a true act of professionalism that was valued in their field. Of course he’d occasionally betray himself with an award winning cocky personality that was fueled by others distaste, but of course none of that really mattered now.

From the moment he’d woken up in this vibrant world, he had felt as if all the confidence had been sucked out of his body and replaced with rage. The final words of a deadman rang in his head, haunting him at all hours of the day, and yet he found himself trapped with an imitation of the deadman. It was like the universe was playing a horrible, cruel prank on him.

Look at what you could have had, it seemed to mock.

This particular Robotnik was not like the one he once knew. He was far too rash. Too spineless. Too…Kind. Yes, a kindness he’d once wondered about that was constantly on display in the new world he found himself in. And it was one consistently displayed to him and him alone.

Something he’d never once experienced until the very end of his old life.

It was that kindness that visited him late on a Friday night, when his eyes were half lidded and his hand was shakily reaching towards his seventh cup of coffee.

His fingers had just grazed the porcelain when a hand gripped his chin and turned it to the side, tilting it upwards as his eyes shot open in surprise. The rough motion was not unfamiliar, but that gentle graze of a thumb just under his eye was. Robotnik stood with his head tilted, his mouth turned downwards into a frown, “When was the last time you had yourself a decent night of rest, Agent Stone?” The gentle touch had his stomach turning and he pulled back, leaning in his chair as he looked up at the imitation. He wanted to come up with a snarky comeback, but his words became trapped in his throat. This concern being shown to him was unsettling.

“I don’t know,” he responded honestly.

“Well how are you supposed to protect me if you can’t even keep your own eyes open?”

And that was laughable. Stone leaned his head back, covering his mouth as a few stray chuckles escaped him, “Protect you~? From what. There is no one here that dares threaten you, sir.” Of course there wasn’t. In this world, Robotnik sought destruction and yet no one really came to the lab to try and arrest him or kill him. No one wanted his brain for their plots, or his machines for their world domination plans. It was just him. He was the only one who had any aspirations in this universe, and it was driving Stone up the wall.

Of course, the doctor didn’t like being laughed at.

“...Go to bed, Stone. You’re done here.”

“...Fine.”

Stone shut down what he was working on, carefully stepping around the doctor to head off to his room, deciding it best to keep the rest of his displeasure to himself.

#y'all wanted to see the writings?#well here is the first one #if there's mistakes oh well #okay now to some actual tags yippee #universal collision au #stobotnik

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loaffofbred · 2 months ago

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ok, RAMBLE TIME! recently catched up to the realm smp and i have so much thoughts about how tr!foolish's death went. a lil note, proceeding to this post, all names that i will be discussing here is RP/characters (unless otherwise specified), therefore i wont be putting tr everytime just to keep it consistent

anyways, i will be mostly discussing foolish's reactions and actions and maybe even small theories or what if's i'd like to explore even further! this might get long and unorganized, so buckle up!

LOST YET SATISFIED

a fascinating thing about foolish that was revealed even further in his death is his passive nature of losing a life and losing to a game. as he's said multiple times, hes a gambler, and wouldn't be opposed to risk even it costs larger than what he'd gain. slowly throughout his thought process while talking to owen, you can hear his realization, and reveal his perceptions once he can tell owen was more defensive. once the whole thing was revealed, i couldn't help but notice that he just kept smiling. like, even losing was something he'd look forward to. he looked invigorated, and his voice sounded proud and excited. similarly said as some posts ive read say it, it was practically the embodiment of 'curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back'. but this felt familiar to me, a similar feeling of chaos and excitement; the feeling felt the same way as his past (dsmp & qsmp specifically).

i always thought foolish's strategy and approach had changed quite a bit from what he'd do in the past. he felt more, pacifist, even more open to emotion and connection. if anything, valued it as one of the main reasons for being king. to be the 'light' and the 'hope'. it was optimistic, a stray from his former chaotic neutral self. thats when i realized that that chaotic neutrality never left him, this shows that part of him still remains and controls his actions.

he was there to know what was behind green's plans and he did, but ultimately lost by going right into their trap. yet, he was happy and even gave credit where credit's due. if anything, excite him to his ultimate demise. he lost a gamble he knew the risk of, and even with that, his voice held no particular regret for taking the game. he wasn't afraid of losing, its all part of the game after all. deaths didn't feel as important to him compared to the past, and has even looked forward to seeing it from time to time. i love how foolish stays consistent with his reactions and intentions, and isnt even afraid of being a victim to his own gambling ways.

but what about his death?

DEATH AND CHANGE

something that every character seems to notice about foolish is his lack of reaction to death. pili and aimsey are the main ones who were curious and questioned foolish's reaction to death, and him being nonchalant over it. one of his main responses is an analogy, 'its as simple as opening a door'. he didnt have fear of death but curiousity, especially on the outcome of his death in the realm. he wasn't bothered and carelessly threw away his life for satisfaction, sacrifice, or glory. he almost seems complacent, as if respawning once more to the world is predictable. no changes, still himself.

but what if that doesn't happen?

what if there is a change? well, the primary changes that can happen is his memories or his demeanor entirely. consistently, everytime he loses all of his three lives, nothing has changed from him unlike the others. as an immortal being, maybe thats one of the perks of it. but! what if that changes? the most likely change that can happen is his memories, since (ooc)!foolish doesnt like to stray too far from his usual behavior. so what if he forgets? these are some of the scenarios and possibilities i can think of! assuming all his memories are lost altogether or significant parts of it are lost:

he doesnt know he's king but simply declares himself to be one once again, continuing the cycle!

loses memories of significant individuals like the yellow members, but remains open to repair and remember once again

memories are lost but not too much and he acts like he lost his memory of bad just out of spite! landduo smh

loses memories of who killed him, not knowing who owen is or their history

these are just speculations ofc, but i do like to think and hope that (ooc)!foolish plays with it a lil more in his character's future or current death. while i dont think he'll ever dabble on changing his demeanor or behavior for lore, here's possibilities:

being kind to bad (LMAOOOO i kinda wanna see this just to see bad's reaction)

being more violent to green, more spiteful to them, and neutral to his own members

qsmp/bolas behavior, values collective but much much more chaotic

backstabber! a similar vibe to foolish's federation arc

ill probably edit this if i got more to add but for now, thats all ill ramble, hope my thoughts and small what ifs come true at a certain point ^^

#trsmp #the realm smp #trsmp foolish #trsmp badboyhalo #landduo #ramble #the realm smp discussion #trsmp owen #trsmp green #trsmp yellow

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davi-doo · 5 months ago

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On Cardinal Lawrence/Lomeli's Neutrality

Now that I almost finish the novel, I want to talk about this particular element of Lawrence/Lomeli character, which was elaborated at length in the book.

When I watched the movie, I noticed how in the beginning, Tedesco was rather friendly towards Lawrence, despite his apparent close association with the former pope and the liberal party. It was clear that the patriarch of Venice was firm in his traditionalist values, and wouldn't bother to extend pleasantry to those he knows have the opposing ideas and thus present themselves as his enemies. And yet, he not only greeted Lawrence warmly upon his own arrival but also welcomed the dean to his table and spoke earnestly during the first meal they shared at the conclave.

We know in the book, Lawrence character is originally an Italian (the name, Lomeli). This partly explains why Tedesco is willing to invite the dean into his "Holy Roman Church circle jerk", but it's not the only reason. The change of Italian Lomeli into the English Lawrence doesn't take away the meaning of Tedesco's initial affability. Let me tell you why.

As the dean of the cardinal college, Lawrence/Lomeli is the second most senior cardinal, only after the pope. There have been other posts that pointed out how much responsibility and "soft" power he has within the Curia: he's like the "manager" whose work seem mundance and invisible to himself and many, but in its absence everything might go up in flame.

Someone of his position is also aware of many secrets. Just during the welcoming hour of the conclave, he casually looked at the incoming cardinals, his colleagues, and thought to himself about all their little contribution to the church, their role in its inner politics, and so many allerged scandals. It was just a memory practice to him but oh shit, he holds all those detailed informations in his weary old head.

Naturally, Lomeli/Lawrence had been serving the pope and the church, it's his duty to protect their reputation despite all flaws. We all know how his obsession with maintaining neutrality fueled his inner turmoil, how he blames his moral weakness for his straying from faith. But it was largely the intricate systemic corruption, or rather erosion, that happened within the Curia. One that can be felt by the heart and not fully understood by the mind. One that manifested in each time a cardinal scolds "Oh don't be naive.".

Coming back to Tedesco, I believe he gave Lawrence/Lomeli the benefit of doubt, that he may be swayed to the traditionalist values, given his neutrality. Lawrence/Lomeli viewed his neutrality as a virtue, while the outsider viewed it as leniency, or even complicity! Tedesco's love language is mansplaining. I'm not joking! It's written in the book that Tedessco identified his followers as those who will sit and listen to what he has to say.

The cherry on top? When the pope passed away, Lomeli/Lawrence was the last among the senior cardinal to be informed. And yet, he himself suggest he should make a call to Tedesco, for the sake of formality. Something something "He deserves to know", except that Tedesco already knew through his inner people. The dean's liberal best friend and not so liberal colleagues can only look at him like "welp, he is really like that".

To conclude, this is not a hate post but just me making sense of the character's subtle interactions. And damn, you really should believe people when they tell you who they are, stand up and leave the fascist table like Lomeli/Lawrence did or be known as one of them.

#conclave #thomas lawrence #jacopo lomeli #cardinal lawrence #cardinal lomeli #cardinal tedesco #goffredo tedesco #analysis #losing my mind #this novel is so funny I swear

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 1 year ago

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Has anyone asked you about erisol?

If no, then what's your opinion on them! :-)

I feel like people will be upset at me for this, but a completely platonic and completely lukewarm mutual dislike... they don't really like each other, but take no great issue with each other either. The boys are not fightingggg

So like. A common thing in fandoms is taking things at face value and not really reading any deeper into them. You see this a shitton with Eridan in general - lots of people take it 100% at face value that he's a casteist genocide liker, when it's pretty clear upon further examination that he's pretty much lying about being casteist and doesn't actually want to murder his friends. So, at face value, Eridan hates Sollux, and either wants to do spadesies with him, or go ashen with him. And so this has become a really popular ship, but the thing is... at basically every turn, the story kind of goes out of its way to point out that there's actually nothing between them. At least romantically.

See, Eridan does not actually hate Sollux, at least not to the level of pitch/ashen. TWICE before Sollux and Feferi start hanging out all the time, we see Eridan commenting on Sollux in a fairly neutral-negative way - the first time calling him "a drama machine" and noting that "it is fuckin pathetic," and the second time as "the dead guy who saved [Feferi]". And let's be clear about the former, Eridan is just kind of Like That, he's rude as fuck even about people he LIKES (calling his BFF Karkat an "assblood" and sarcastically referring to Feferi by her royal titles), so that's actually one of the less nasty things he's said about someone.

Meanwhile, on Sollux's end, he LITERALLY says "not interested" to what he perceives as pitch/ashen advances from Eridan. Like, actually just says those words out loud. Not even in a pesterlog, he actually just says those words with his mouth.

So it seems to me that there's a pretty clear case to be made here that Eridan and Sollux kind of just... don't really give a shit about each other, and probably wouldn't have interacted in any substantial way if not for Feferi's involvement. Especially because Eridan's chosen method of hitting on Sollux is with casteism, something he's already faking in the first place.

If we really want to dig into this, though, it's kind of - in my eyes - a lukewarm case of the hedgehog dilemma. They're a bit too similar, and it winds up causing them both mild pain to get too close.

They're both nihilists that kind of hate themselves. Sollux's mutated brain causes him a not-insignificant amount of discomfort, his visions of the future and of the "imminently doomed" have made him lose a lot of hope, and he blames himself for killing Aradia, something so painful that he didn't tell anyone else she died, to the point where most of the team - including Terezi and Tavros - had to find out after entering the game. Meanwhile, Eridan struggles with the perceived inevitability of a lifestyle that causes him nothing but distress, and his constant, overwhelming anxiety about it leads to constant stressing over whether or not he's "good enough"; whenever he's in severe emotional distress, he starts beating up on himself.

They also both front at being more okay with their problems than they actually are. Sollux has his 1337 hacker, two cool for you persona that he puts on, and Eridan is always trying to be the big bad sea dweller. For example, Sollux goes "I'm not trolling the humans, it's beneath me," but he's in Jade's trollslum, so the implication there is that he totally did try trolling, it went badly for him, and now he's pretending that he was always better than that. And I don't think I need to tell you how hard Eridan works to try and present himself as badass and scary and totally not deep in the throes of emotional anguish at all times.

And these are the similarities that ultimately make Erisolsprite so stable. Erisolsprite speculates that maybe the reason he hasn't exploded yet is that deep down, he loves to suffer. The truth is, there's nothing between the two that's really so objectionable that they would ACTUALLY hate each other; Eridan isn't actually casteist, and Eridan never really hated Sollux in the first place.

Neither would they bring each other any comfort or joy - Eridan doesn't have any sympathy for Sollux's baggage, since, like, what, he only killed ONE person, and was even under mind control, so it's not like it was really his fault. He's a drama machine. And Sollux wouldn't have sympathy for Eridan's problems, partially because they manifest in such cringeworthy, embarrassing ways (and Sollux is highly sensitive to not being cringe, seeing as he's always commenting on other people being embarrassing or overly earnest), and partially because - I mean, fuck it, he's a rich-ass sea dweller who doesn't need to worry about being harvested to be a battery for a living ship. And also he's an idiot.

That's kind of what their relationship is to me, you know? A tepid and lukewarm dislike. They're just similar enough to each other to understand the other, and just different enough to be like "ugh, but that guy suuuuuuuucks". It's very funny, but not really a ship, hahaha.

So what you really get from that is two guys that just kind of dislike each other. Not vehemently or diametrically enough for pitch or ashen, and not a trace of the requisite pity for flushed or pale. When you throw the two together into one sprite, it won't shut up about how much it hates itself, how each part of itself is flabberghasted by the other, and how much practically the only reason it doesn't explode is a resounding "meh."

Eridan likes to validate his despair; ironically, since it's all he's ever known, it's where he feels comfortable - and nobody would provide better doomscrolling material than the doom player. Similarly, Sollux likes to torment himself, suffering his guilt in silence, and Eridan has SO MUCH to feel guilty over. Combine them into one entity, and you have a guy who can reach SUCH levels of revelling in his own misery, you don't even KNOW.

Not that it's healthy or positive for either of them... just that it would be incredibly stable. It's their worst tendencies being satisfied by each other. Maybe that's a form of leprechaun romance, but it's certainly not a quadrant.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #sollux captor #admittedly sollux is one of the trolls i'm still working on grasping #and this post should also in no way be taken as 'stop shipping them' because idfc #ship what you want who cares hussie has already been driven away with jeering and sneering #i just was always kind of fascinated by the endurance of the ship #despite pretty much every piece of canon involving these two pointing to the fact that they just. kind of dont like each other #but in a platonic way

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