#the former is value neutral

[wordsandrobots]

On reflection, I think quitting 86 EIGHT-SIX because the subtitles wheeled out an actual Nazi slogan is as good a reason as any not to write anything in-depth about it, so I'll simply summarise my thoughts about being recommended this anime as something in the same vein as Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans.

It's not.

There are broad aesthetic similarities but where IBO is a tragedy, the plot driven by characters' flawed reactions to bad circumstances, 86 -- at least for much of its first season -- falls more into the region of moral horror. That is, the horror of being stuck within a society entirely at odds with your personal morals. In this mode, it's quite effective, particularly when using small victories to highlight the wider, inescapable nature of the situation.

Unfortunately, from my perspective, 86's second season promptly drops any pretence of having anything other than a standard heroic arc, ditching the implication of a crushingly cyclical conflict and also any sense of real stakes for the protagonists. Given the show is an adaptation, I'm not sure where to place blame for that. Frankly I'm not inclined to delve further to find out. Within a horror context, the juvenile fantasy racism that forms the impetus behind the characters' struggles isn't a particular flaw. The emotional beats land despite the details. But with the horror elements becoming mere obstacles to be overcome, it's just asinine. This is a world where the major act of exterminationist racism is prompted by an AI apocalypse scenario, and the oppressed peoples are afforded no deeper identity than simply not being blue-eyed and silver-haired.

(In case it's not fully clear what I mean by that, the anime spends zero screen-time on non-conscripted District 86 people. There's no sense of a culture being obliterated by the official policy that stripped them of their personhood, nor of what remains to be saved should that policy be overturned.)

Again I can't say if this comes from the adaptation or the original light novels. It's a fairly brief anime that, in fairness, makes the most of the space it gets. But we circle back around to where I started. At best, the sense I get is of a piece of fiction existing within something akin to the 'imperial anti-imperialism' framework of, say, Code:Geass (or War of the Worlds, if you want the classic British example of the type). At worse -- well, suffice to say 86 is now something I won't recommend to anyone, ever.

It's also just not particularly good, in my opinion. Outside the horror elements, the characters feel extremely stock, lacking interesting details or nuance. There's nothing like IBO's thematic tightness and 86 certainly bears no relation to real-life child soldiers. What it does in this regard is not utterly divorced from reality, but it's framed in terms of conscription, not the reasons kids get drawn into fighting in the situations we usually mean when we say 'child soldier'.

The most positive thing I took from thirteen episodes of 86 is a fresh appreciation for how 'mecha anime' functions as an aesthetic genre, often obscuring narrative genre. If you enjoyed what IBO does, I doubt you'll find much to chew on in 86. Even setting aside its comparative shallowness, it's not remotely the same kind of story.

Anyway. Don't like spending words on stuff I didn't enjoy, but PSA for anybody who gets recommended 86 off the back of IBO: its subtitles have Nazi shit in them, and you won't be missing much by not watching it.

If you can, go dig out Fafner in the Azure instead. I know I rave about IBO a lot but Fafner is by far and away the best mecha anime I have ever watched. While also not a tragedy, it's an exceptional, heart-breaking story framed around war with an 'unknowable' alien horde, that unfolds into a deeply sincere exploration of what it means to fight in defence of home and community.

[databent]

VAGUEPOST ABOUT IRL INCOMINGG

"im not transpjobic ive never thought of you as anything other than a boy" ok well coming onto me and then continuing to insist yohre straight as fuck and into women only probably isnt the best way to demonstrate to me how mcuh you Dont tnink of me as a woman girl lady woman vagina fem lady girl. you know.

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Look I don't blame Mal for the Blonde-hair spell.

There's no Tremaines salon and obviously she isn't gonna let just anyone do her hair with bleach and sharp scissors near her neck.

[heritageposts]

The Grayzone has obtained slides from a confidential Israel lobby presentation based on data from Republican pollster Frank Luntz. They contain talking points for politicians and public figures seeking to justify Israel’s assault on the Gaza Strip. Two prominent pro-Israel lobby groups are holding private briefings in New York City to coach elected officials and well-known figures on how to influence public opinion in favor of the Israeli military’s rampage in Gaza, The Grayzone can reveal. These PR sessions, convened by the UJA-Federation and Jewish Community Relations Council, rely on data collected by Frank Luntz, a veteran Republican pollster and pundit. [...] The Luntz-tested presentations on the war in Gaza urge politicians to avoid trumpeting America’s supposedly shared democratic values with Israel, and focus instead on deploying “The Language of War with Hamas.” According to this framing, they must deploy incendiary language painting Hamas as a “brutal and savage…organization of hate” which has “raped women,” while insisting Israel is engaged in “a war for humanity.” [...] Luntz’s Gaza war presentation puts his poll-tested tactics back in the Israel lobby’s hands, urging pro-Israel public figures to stay on the attack with incendiary language and shocking allegations against their enemies. In one focus group, Luntz asked participants to state which alleged act by Hamas on October 7 “bothers you more.” After being presented with a laundry list of alleged atrocities, a majority declared that they were most upset by the claim that Hamas “raped civilians” – 19 percent more than those who expressed outrage that Hamas supposedly “exterminated civilians.” Data like this apparently influenced the Israeli government to launch an obsessive but still unsuccessful campaign to prove that Hamas carried out sexual assault on a systematic basis on October 7. Initiated at Israel’s United Nations mission in December 2023 with speeches by neoliberal tech oligarch Sheryl Sandberg and former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, a recipient of hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations and speaking fees from Israel lobby organizations, Tel Aviv’s propaganda blitz has yet to produce a single self-identified victim of sexual assault by Hamas. A March 5 report by UN Special Representative on Sexual Violence Pramila Patten did not contain one direct testimony of sexual assault on October 7. What’s more, Patten’s team said they found “no digital evidence specifically depicting acts of sexual violence.”

They also advice to use different language for Democrat and Republican voters, which inadvertently provides one of the most succinct explanation of the difference between the two genocidal parties that I've ever come across:

To make their arguments stick, Luntz recommends pro-Israel forces avoid the exterminationist language favored by Israeli officials who have called, for example, to “erase” the population of Gaza, and to instead advocate for “an efficient, effective approach” to eliminating Hamas. At the same time, veteran pollster acknowledges that Republican voters prefer phrases which imply maximalist violence, like “eradicate” and “obliterate,” while sanitized terms like “neutralize” appeal more to Democrats. Republican presidential candidates Nikki Haley and Donald Trump have showcased similar focus-grouped rhetoric with their calls to “finish them” and “finish the problem” in Gaza.

One of the slides, illustrating what language to use:

There are several more slides in the article. I recommend reading the whole thing, start to finish. One more thing I'd like to highlight though:

Luntz acknowledges Israel’s mounting PR problems in a slide identifying the most powerful tactics employed by Palestine solidarity activists. “Israelis attacking Israel is the second most potent weapon against Israel,” the visual display reads beside a photo of a protest by Jewish Voices for Peace, a US-based Jewish organization dedicated to ending Israel’s occupation of Palestine. “The most potent” tactic in mobilizing opposition to Israel’s assault on Gaza, according to Luntz, “is the visual destruction of Gaza and the human toll.” The slide inadvertently acknowledges the cruelty of Israel’s bombardment of Gaza, displaying a bombed out apartment building with clearly anguished women and children fleeing in the foreground. But Luntz assures his audience, “It ‘looks like a genocide’ even though the damage has nothing to do with the definition.” According to this logic, the American public can become more tolerant of copiously documented crimes against humanity if they are simply told not to believe their lying eyes.

. . . full article on GZ (6 Mar 2024)

[aphroditelovesu]

[🖤] - ''I don't want to force you to be mine, but I will if I have to.’’ + 💔] - ‘’You can't leave me. You will not leave me.’’ For Rhaenyra Drabble after her wife (reader) who while normally happy in their marriage starts to get tired and starts talking back to her after Rhaenyra basically imprisons the reader because she was paranoid about reader cheating on her?

[🖤] - ''I don't want to force you to be mine, but I will if I have to.’’

[💔] - ‘’You can't leave me. You will not leave me.’’

❝ 🐉 — lady l: this ended up becoming more than a drabble but I got carried away... I hope you like it, anon, and forgive me for any mistakes! Good reading! ❤️

❝tw: accusation of betrayal, mention of death, mourning, imprisonment and angst.

❝🐉pairing: yandere!rhaenyra targaryen x female!reader.

❝word count: 1,143.

You felt like a damn prisoner and maybe you really were.

Rhaenyra has become increasingly unstable and possessive over you and she has practically imprisoned you in her room, with only a few servants having access to you.

The reason for all this? She thought you were cheating on her, which was completely ridiculous. You weren't cheating on her and it never crossed your mind to do so.

You valued your life and loved Rhaenyra too much to even think about having a lover. You love her, don't you? You were sure you did it but after she locked you in, you weren't so sure anymore.

''I don't want to force you to be mine, but I will if have to.'' Her words still echoed in your mind and you only realized their weight when she finally lost her head after you spoke against her. The memories of that night were painful and you could still feel Rhaenyra's touch on your skin like fire.

Trapped in that golden cage, you stared at the richly decorated walls of her room, feeling increasingly suffocated. It was a luxury that became a prison, and every exquisite detail now seemed a cruel reminder of her situation.

The days passed slowly, with the routine of servants coming and going, bringing meals and clean clothes. They never exchanged more than a few words with you, and their expressions were always neutral. You wondered if they knew about your suspicions or if they simply followed orders blindly without question.

Rhaenyra visited you often, but your conversations were tense. You could see the paranoia in her eyes, a dark shadow that seemed to grow with each encounter. She asked questions, sometimes calmly and sometimes desperately, trying to get a confession out of you that wasn't there. Each denial from you seemed to fuel even more suspicion in her.

During these visits, you tried to calm her fears, reaffirming your love and fidelity, but your words seemed to lose strength with each repetition. Uncertainty grew inside you, not only about your feelings for her, but also about the future of this relationship that previously seemed so solid.

There were moments of silence, where you just looked at each other, lost in your own thoughts. At those times, you wondered what had happened to the woman you loved, the one who was strong, confident and fair. Now, she was a shadow of her former self, consumed by an irrational fear that was destroying her and you along with it.

You knew that Lucerys' death and the start of the war had affected her even more and you understood. You really did and you couldn't blame you for that. Although you didn't have children of your own, you loved hers as if they were your own and you were also grieving the loss of Luke but nothing justified Rhaenyra's accusations and her actions towards you. You knew it all came from her fear of losing you but that didn't make it any less painful.

The loss of Lucerys was a devastating blow to everyone. Rhaenyra has never been the same since that day. You clearly remembered the moment the news arrived. Her scream of pain still echoed in your mind, and you had felt a deep sadness as you watched the woman you loved fall apart. You tried to be as supportive as possible, to be by her side in every moment of pain, but it was as if an invisible barrier had risen between you.

Rhaenyra had become increasingly vigilant and suspicious. At first, you thought it was just grief manifesting itself in unexpected ways, but as time passed, her obsession grew. She began to question every one of your actions, every word spoken and even the moments of silence. At first, you responded with patience, believing that she would eventually get over it. However, her accusations became more frequent and fierce, culminating in your forced imprisonment.

You tried to justify her behavior to yourself. The coming war, the loss of her son, the constant pressure of claiming the throne and keeping the family together... It was all a crushing burden. And yet, in your most lucid moments, you knew you didn't deserve to be treated this way. Your love and loyalty were never in question. Rhaenyra's fear of losing someone else close to her was understandable, but it could not be a reason to imprison.

When Rhaenyra came to visit you, you decided you had had enough. You needed to make her see reason.

She entered the room, as always, with an expression full of distrust and pain. Her eyes, once so full of life, were now opaque, marked by sadness and fear. She approached you, her steps heavy and her gaze fixed on your eyes, as if she was looking for some confirmation of her fears. And when she noticed something in your gaze, perhaps the determination to get out of this situation, her face became furious and you could see her lips trembling.

''Rhaenyra, I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to hurt you.'' You said, desperation evident in every word.

You took a deep breath, feeling the pain of the situation that was becoming increasingly untenable. Rhaenyra was mired in her own insecurities, and you knew you needed to break that cycle of fear and distrust. ''Rhaenyra, I love you. You need trust me. We are losing something precious in all of this.''

She remained silent, her eyes fixed on yours, as if she was trying to find something in your gaze that could ease her pain. There was a heavy silence, full of unspoken emotions, promises and fears.

You continued, your voice firmer, trying to reach the woman you loved. ''I'm not cheating on you. I will not leave you. We need to find a way to get through this together, before we completely destroy ourselves.''

The minutes passed, and the silence between you was deafening. Rhaenyra seemed to be fighting her own demons, insecurity and fear intertwining in her mind. You knew it was a crucial moment, an opportunity to salvage what was left of your relationship.

Finally, her voice breaking, she whispered, ''You can't leave me. You will not leave me.''

Your heart sank at her words. Rhaenyra was in shambles, and you knew you needed to act carefully, with love and patience. In a calm, low voice, you spoke, ''I am here, Rhaenyra. Let's find a way out of this together. I promise.''

There was a small spark of hope in her eyes, a spark that maybe, just maybe, could be the basis for rebuilding what had been lost. You approached her, reaching out your hand, trying to reach that piece of hope that still shined amidst the darkness.

Perhaps you could bring reason back to Rhaenyra.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Response to your reblog before I peace out.

The argument of the immorality of abortion is built on the assumption that life inherently has value. Lives do not have any inherent value, because they are the result of millions of years of naturally occurring processes. These natural processes do not have any inherent moral value; attempting to assign one would involve invoking some sort of "god" that exists beyond the material, observable, provable world we live in, rather than some logical, clear, and distinct notion such as the one attempted to be shown. For these reasons, abortion is morally neutral.

On that note, the morality and legality of abortion are thereby a human notion, with a logically valid -though not logically sound- argument in either direction. The argument presented says that "no human life should be purposefully ended by another human being. Because that's murder." In short, they believe that murder is necessarily and inherently immoral. That's all it is though, a belief: There is no wholly logical ground to stand on with regards to murder being universally bad in all scenarios, because of its' moral neutrality as I proved above. In other words, the morality and legality of aborting a fetus is wholly subjective.

"Do you actually have an issue with my argument that a fetus is a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder[?]"

Yes I do. A fetus is not survivable beyond the confines of the womb for quite some time; in fact, not until right before the fetus is due to become a baby and be born, that ever-reliable 8 month mark after insemination. As such, considering the fetus is unable to survive without constant connection to the pregnant person, it stands to reason that this is an extension of their body at this point, rather than a separate entity. If one intended to claim it still was at the stages before a fetus can survive independently, then consider this implication: Parasites rely on being attached to living beings in order to survive. This includes humans. Therefore, following the earlier claim that "a fetus is a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder," a parasite attached to a human is also a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder. Therefore, it is more reasonable to claim that for most of the pregnancy cycle, a fetus is not a separate entity from the pregnant person, and by extension, "ending its' life" is not murder.

"Babies are people, too, and have the same right to life as an adult."

This is true! Because babies are not fetuses.

Just thought you would want to read this, because anti-choice rhetoric can be very harmful in shutting down the agency of pregnant people and their ability to dictate their own lives. Knowing the direction that restrictions of this kind have gone in the past, those restrictions will not stop after the illegalization of abortion. Please consider who this harms and who this helps before spreading closed-minded rhetoric of that kind.

Either morality (God-given or otherwise, because there are many secular arguments against abortion) exists or it doesn't. There is a line in the sand or there is not. If you truly intend to argue that lives have no inherent value beyond what we assign them, then not only are the two of us operating in completely irreconcilable ethical frameworks, but yours collapses under its own weight; harm, agency, all these things mattering hinges on the idea that humans and (to a lesser extent) other forms of life have inherent worth, inherent dignity, that causing the former and undermining the latter are wrong in and of themselves.

If there is no objective standard on which to hang our arguments, then everything becomes subjective; all that matters is what we value on a social and individual level. And if that's the case, why would I ever bother to value the opinions of you, a stranger on the internet, over my own? It would be unfair and wrong of me not to consider other positions, to try to see things from another person's point of view, but why should I care about fairness or rightness?

Equating an embryo or fetus to a parasite is fallacious and incorrect. Ignoring that by the scientific definition parasites have to be a different species from the host, and that a pregnancy is a two-way street that also provides benefits for the mother, embryos and fetuses are simply living out the natural development cycle that literally every other human being on the planet has gone through. The biological principles at play in parasitism and human reproduction are fundamentally different.

I could keep going. I could match your arguments with my own about how anti-life rhetoric is a slippery slope to eugenics, about how I could just as easily twist your arguments around to make social parasites out of the elderly and disabled; but in this case it's pointless, because I can't even get you to sit down and agree upon simple principles like "human lives have value" and "murder is bad" or even "there is such a thing as objective morality."

[adumbratrapedme]

ushijima x reader | teen pregnancy. pt 1 the news.

Synopsis. a teen pregnancy storie between ushijima and reader.

wc. | genre. angst |cw/tags. angst, teen pregnancy mentions, ushijima being asshole :,v etc.

teen pregnancy series masterlists here!

╭⋅Ok so, Ushijima’s first reaction to hearing the news of the pregnancy would be one of quiet shock, we know he's not someone who shows his emotions easily, but his stoic nature would briefly falter. ╭⋅And his immediate response wouldn’t be anger or frustration, but rather a cold, calculating silence as he processes the situation, quickly shifting into a mindset based on logic and practicality. ╭⋅His approach would be very solution-driven, focusing more on what he sees as the "right" decision rather than his or your emotional considerations. ╭⋅His face during the whole encounter would remain neutral, almost distant, as if he’s separated himself from the emotional aspect of the decision. ╭⋅He really loves you but it's really hard for him to come to terms with the pregnancy, so he makes the harsh decision to break up with you right away. ╭⋅Even with all of this going on he still cares about you, so he decides to trust in Tendou’s ability to be a supportive figure, resulting on Ushijima sending him to check on you. ╭⋅He would ask him not to mention it was his idea, but deep down, he wishes you notice it was beacuse of him and hopes that Tendou’s visits could somehow make up for his own absence. ╭⋅He wouldn’t ask Tendou to say anything specific, but he’d want to make sure you were okay, even if he couldn’t be the one to do so.

You and Ushijima Wakatoshi had been together for over a year, your love growing slowly yet deeply. But everything changed one rainy afternoon when you found out you were pregnant.

The revelation hit you like a tidal wave, and as you tried to process it, a part of you hoped he would be there to comfort you. But when you told him, his response was not what you expected. Ushijima, in his usual calm and collected manner, looked at you with a distant expression. His voice was firm, unwavering.

“We’re only in our third year of high school,” he said, the words falling from his lips like heavy stones. “This will interfere with both of our futures. I don’t think it’s the right time for us to keep this child.”

His words stung, and the silence that followed felt suffocating. You knew he valued his future—his volleyball career, his ambitions—but you had hoped that he would see beyond that. His lack of emotion made it worse; it felt as though he had already made up his mind without considering your feelings.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, his eyes not meeting yours. “I think it’s best for us to end things here.”

Your heart shattered at his words. You had never imagined he would be the one to break up with you over something like this. As you nodded through your tears, the weight of his decision crashed down on you. The breakup was abrupt, leaving no room for discussion. And just like that, Ushijima was gone.

The weeks that followed were brutal. You tried to keep things normal, but everything felt different. The halls of school seemed emptier without him by your side. The emotional toll of the breakup combined with the pregnancy made everything seem like an impossible burden.

But then something strange started happening. Every lunch, Tendou Satori—Ushijima’s teammate and your former acquaintance—would show up at your table, bringing you lunch. At first, you didn’t understand why he was doing this. You weren’t close friends, and you never had much of a relationship outside of knowing each other through Ushijima. His presence at your lunch table was odd, almost invasive.

Tendou, with his usual playful grin, would sit down across from you, handing you the lunch he'd brought. “Hey, thought you might like some company,” he’d say casually. “How’s your day going?”

It was strange, to say the least. You couldn’t figure out why he was doing this. You weren’t sure if it was out of friendship or some other reason. But as the days passed and Tendou continued to show up, you began to notice something—he seemed genuinely concerned for you, his usual teasing demeanor softened whenever he talked to you.

It made you wonder—did Ushijima ask him to check on you? You couldn't bring yourself to ask, and Tendou never mentioned anything about it. You tried to push the thought out of your mind, but the nagging feeling remained. Despite the oddity of the situation, you couldn’t help but appreciate his presence. At least someone was there, even if it was awkward.

The lunches with Tendou weren’t easy, though. Between his jokes and attempts to lighten the mood, there was always the heavy weight of your breakup with Ushijima that lingered in the air. You could tell that Tendou wasn’t trying to fix anything, he was just trying to keep things normal for you. But it wasn’t normal. It was just a reminder of everything that had happened.

You missed Ushijima—his stoic nature, his quiet support, the way he always seemed so sure of everything. It hurt to think that he had made his decision so easily, without considering you. And yet, here you were, stuck with his teammate trying to fill the silence he left behind.

Each day, you fought with the conflicting emotions swirling inside you. You wanted to be strong for yourself, but you also longed for the support you thought you would get from the person who mattered most—Ushijima.

But for now, Tendou’s little lunchtime visits were the closest you had to a connection with him. And even though it was strange and awkward, you couldn’t help but hold on to the small hope that one day, Ushijima would find the courage to face you again.

chan's note: Hey, hey, hey! Sorry for the delay in updating—ahhh! My little sister’s daycare is on break, so I’ve been taking care of her, and she’s annoying as fuck lol, by the way the ushijima one wont be pure angst, just give it a few chapters pls <3

TAGLIST:

@chilichopsticks @dreadnoughtus101 @starykari @staygoldsquatchling02 @alpha-mommy69 @curlyhairkk @b1xi

if you want to be part of the taglist you can always DM me or coment! <3 tysm for ur support guysehehrbe

-if i forgor someone pls tell me, i get really lost with the taglist thinbg ahhh

[heartfullofleeches]

Carnis [Yan Experiment] General Hcs

A little post exploring the character of my new love Carnis Warnings for Cannibalism, Self Harm and Murder.

• Carnis is a lab made Human/Cow Hybrid created with regenerative abilities for the purpose of organ harvesting to be used on ill patients and as a source of food for the population. A shy, anxious creature who only wants to be loved. They are one of around a dozen successful experiments and the only S ranking Hybrid with meat a similar quality to prime Angus beef. The project was shut down by higher ups after complications and the still living subjects were to be sold to the highest bidder. Through biting through their chains and the aid of a third party Carnis was able to escape before the auction. They are presumed to be deceased.

• Carnis knows very little about the human world. As they grew, it was imprinted into their impressionable mind that all they are is livestock. Due to this idea, Carnis may grow upset or feel they are worthless if Reader rejects their offers of fresh meat. They both reject the notion all they are is meat, and clings to it as their only way to get what they desire. Carnis believes love to be a reward for them to gain by doing everything in their power to prove their worth from sacrificing their flesh to keeping a tidy house.

• Carnis prefers they/them pronouns, but as long as they are treated well name/pronouns does not matter to them. She/Her and It are the only ones they don't like as the former doesn't feel right and the latter reminds them of their time in the facility.

• When under extreme bouts of stress, Carnis bites/claws at their skin sometimes until they see bone. The easiest way to negate these reactions is by holding their hands or if they are wearing something that belongs to reader as their scent calms them down and they would hate to get their blood on something that belongs to them.

• Carnis is not aggressive by default nor do they typically rely on violence to get their way, but if they see anyone attack Reader in any form they have little control on what their body tells them to do. This can be something as harmless as a friend teasingly pushing them. When enraged, Carnis will not stop until the threat is neutralize or if Reader is able to smooth them in time. Their teeth and nails are their primary weapons which they will use to rip out the jugular and face of their target. Will cry like a baby afterwards and immediately seek Reader for comfort for what they've done

• Carnis has a habit of repeating words they say and parroting what others say as well. This majorly stims from learning most of their vocabulary from researchers and guards they interact with. They have been shunned for this feat in the past and often try to think deeply before they speak with unfamiliar persons, but with Reader they are at their most relaxed and thus their speech is relaxed as well.

Another thing they only allow Reader to do is touch their hair, horns and tail. Their hair is the only thing that doesn't naturally regenerate which leads to them valuing it more than anything below Reader and their horns and tail have just always been a touchy area considering majority of the population don't have either. Playing in their hair or rubbing their horns are sure-fire ways to smooth them or help them fall asleep during restless nights.

• Junk Food and Candy has always been a luxury to them as their former caretakers withheld them a treats for compliance which is why they attempt to woo Reader with both. It is their go to method of cheering reader up when they are down - keeping various candies and treats on them at all times. Their idolization of sweet and treats runs so deep one reason they may fall for Reader is them just giving them a piece of chocolate.

[That's all for now! I'm literally so obsessed with this little sweetie so there will be more]

[fallingdownhell]

Could I request Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli and Childe finding out their sweet, gentle s/o has a delusion given to them by their father, who is a former Fatui harbinger?

Very interesting concept. I like it!

Characters Included: Diluc; Kaeya; Zhongli; Childe

Content: gender neutral reader; established relationship

Word count: 1k words

Have fun with this!

Diluc

given his history with Fatuis and delusions, he'd want you to get rid of it as soon as he finds out

and if you refused, than he'd still ask you to at least not use it. At all

he knows all to well the effects and sideeffects that using a delusion could bring and he does not want any of it to happen to you

he couldn't bear losing another loved person the same way like he lost his father all those years ago

He can acknowledge it's sentimental value to you, seeing as it was given to you by your father, but it's still a delusion

if you are unaware of its effects, Diluc would take it upon himself to inform you about everything, every little detail he knows about

and if he didn't tell you about his fathers death and the circumstances by then, he would definitely do so now

on one hand, it would serve as an example as to why not use the delusion and on the other hand, he hoped that you would better understand why he absolutely does not want you to use it

if you would absolutely insist on still using it, because it was a gift, he would not like the fact, but keep a close eye on you every time you do so, to make sure you were safe and nothing would happen to you

however, if you insist on using the delusion more and more, I feel like Diluc would have no choice but to leave you and this relationship, since he absolutely does not want to see you succumb to it

he will tell himself that he tried his best to protect you, but in the end, you're still your own human and can make decisions for yourself. And as much as he wouldn't like it, he would never force anything onto you, even if it means the end for you two like this

Kaeya

Kaeya also learned about Delusions and their effects through the events that happened with Crepus when he was still a teenager

he knows that delusions have a close tie with the Fatui

and while he thinks of them as dangerous, he does see the benefits that come with using them as well

so he's torn about it when he learns that you were gifted one from your father

on one hand, he views it as a tool that will allow you to keep yourself safe, since you don't handle a vision and don't belong to the knights of Favonius

on the other hand, he's concerned about the side effects that might befall you when using it excessively

So, the best thing he can think about, is to sit down with you and talk to you about everything. About his concerns, the potential benefits, his overall thoughts..

if you are unaware, he would lay out all the facts for you as well, so that you can decide for yourself how to best handle this situation

the best case outcome for him would be if you agreed to only using it in times of danger with no other way out. It would be the ideal solution

However, in the end, the choice is still up to you, and Kaeya will stick by your side no matter how you decide. He tells himself that he can deal with everything that might be thrown your and his way, so long as you don't leave him as well..

Zhongli

He's painfully aware of the existence of delusions

and while he does not fully understand how exactly they work, he knows that they are dangerous and should be handled with utmost caution

When he finds out that you're in posession of one, he would first ask you how you even got around to one, because that would mean that you had ties to the Fatui themselves

When you told him that your father had gifted it to you, he began to do some research about him and that's how he found out that you father was a former Harbinger

The next thing he would do was figuring out what you fathers intentions were when he gifted the delusion to you. Was he genuinely concerned about you and wanted you to be able to defend yourself if need be? Or did he have some form of hidden agenda in mind?

Overall, Zhongli would try to find out all information possible, trying to answer all his questions before he takes any action whatsoever

He would not be too happy if you decide to keep the deluison, mostly because of it's uncertain origins and effects, but he would also not act against you

Instead, he keeps to monitoring you, making it his duty to remember every little change that may or may not occur to you when using it

And should he notice any bad signs, he would take you to the doctors immediately, wanting to keep you safe as much as he possibly could

Childe

Being a Fatui himself - and a Harbinger at that - he knew exactly what the risks and benefits of using a delusion were

And he was also aware that it should be used sparingly, lest normal people like you want to suffer the same fate as those resistance soldiers in Inazuma did

He knew your father, Cholde had the utmost respect for him, but he would have never thought that the man would gift his own child a delusion, knowing all that he knew about it

He wanted to rip that thing out of your hands, throw it away and tell you to never even think about using something as dangerous as this

Then again, he would only come across as a hypocrite, seeing as he himself was using one, and rather openly and often at that

So that option was out the door right from the start

Instead, he tried to have an open talk with you where he explained everything about delusions to you, hoping that ot would set your mind in the right direction

In the end, the decision is up to you on wether or not you want to use it

But if you do decide on using it, Childe's only demand would be that he would be the one to teach you how to safely use it, so you wouldn't risk too much

[the-sin-hole]

fighting a losing battle

stanxreader flashfic, 897 words gender neutral, reader is 21+, no warnings apply i've got a fever and the only cure is pining

+++

Stan wakes up scowling.

This happens a lot, honestly. Whether he's plagued by sour dreams or another random body pain, he doesn't usually wake up on the right side of the bed, so to speak. But this morning he has an entirely new thing to angrily confront in his first few moments of consciousness.

Feelings. Ugh.

He lays in bed as he plays mental damage control. He'd really hoped what he felt last night was a fluke, a byproduct of the environment and the alcohol. Something he'd sleep off, shrug off, look back on and chalk up to a temporary loss of faculties.

The fact that you're the first thing he thought of this morning proves that to not be the case.

A new exhibit at the Shack had broken and caused some damage to your car earlier that week. You expressed your hesitance at the giant fake automaton Bigfoot several times, Stan brushing each of your concerns off one by one. You've only been working there about a month, but you both got along quickly, and he values your input as much as a man stuck in his ways can. Still, your rapport was not enough to convince him that maybe the rickety former carnival attraction wouldn't be able to juggle several coconuts at once. And you were proven right when it flung one of them right into your car's windshield.

Stan knew a guy, as he always does, at the local shop who fixed it for you on the cheap. Still, instead of compensating you financially, he offered to make it up to you by buying you a few cheap beers at the local bar after work on Friday night. You accepted, knowing that was the best you were going to get out of him.

Stan had no nerves going into it. This was just a few drinks with another adult, no big deal. He tolerates your company perfectly well. He thought he might even have a good time. And unfortunately for him, he had too good a night.

You were seated next to each other on stools at the bar, clinking your third beer bottles together. After your sips you both spotted a man with an unreasonably-large handlebar mustache sitting a few spots away. Stan leaned into your ear and cracked a joke. He can't even remember the joke, not anymore, because what happened next short circuited his brain.

Not wanting to alert the victim of the joke to Stan's mockery, you slapped a hand over your mouth as laughs tried to escape. You weakened as your body was wracked with restrained laughter. That weakness combined with your desire to keep the chuckles under wraps led you to turn to your left, towards Stan, and lean onto his side. You pressed your face against his upper arm to help stifle your sounds, placed your other hand on his forearm and squeezed. You remained there for a good ten seconds while your laughs subsided.

Stan was paralyzed. His heart was jumping in his chest. He felt warm, too warm, way too warm, and something tingled deep in his gut. When you finally pulled away and looked up at him, face flushed with mirth, hand now removed to show a wide smile up at him, other hand giving a tighter squeeze to his forearm, he realized to his immense dismay that he wanted to kiss you.

That thought was very quickly replaced by another: "Oh, fuck."

Suddenly his nerves found him. He spent the rest of the night fighting back anxiety, working overtime to entertain and make you laugh that hard again, make you get close to him again. Unfortunately you called it a night after your third round and left to walk back to your apartment, taking with you all the warmth that had found him which he now sorely missed. When he went to bed that night he kept fighting back rushing thoughts about you with the same sentence, repeated increasingly louder the more you wriggled through.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

He repeats that mantra as he gets ready for work, prepares himself mentally to face you when the Shack opens. He's drinking coffee in the kitchen when he hears you enter and take your place at the register to count your till. He sips his coffee and tries to talk himself down.

Last night was nothin'. You just got caught up in makin' em laugh. It's not like they're some big shot. They're just a normal person with normal looks and you feel perfectly normal about them. You're gonna walk in there and it's gonna be fine. You won't feel any of this dumb ooey-gooey bullshit. And if you do, you'll squash it like a bug and never have to deal with it again. You're not gonna let some feelings win out over you, are ya? Hell no. You've got this. You'll win.

He drains the last of his coffee, places the mug in the sink, and walks to the gift shop with an excess of confidence. He reaches the doorway, pushes through. You're humming to yourself as you count your bills, a sweet tune that may as well be a battle cry to him. You register his approach and look up at him, slight smile on your lips and a softness in your eyes that threatens to pierce his defense.

It's fine. You'll win. It's fine.

You say "Morning, Stan", and he loses.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Has anyone asked you about erisol?

If no, then what's your opinion on them! :-)

I feel like people will be upset at me for this, but a completely platonic and completely lukewarm mutual dislike... they don't really like each other, but take no great issue with each other either. The boys are not fightingggg

So like. A common thing in fandoms is taking things at face value and not really reading any deeper into them. You see this a shitton with Eridan in general - lots of people take it 100% at face value that he's a casteist genocide liker, when it's pretty clear upon further examination that he's pretty much lying about being casteist and doesn't actually want to murder his friends. So, at face value, Eridan hates Sollux, and either wants to do spadesies with him, or go ashen with him. And so this has become a really popular ship, but the thing is... at basically every turn, the story kind of goes out of its way to point out that there's actually nothing between them. At least romantically.

See, Eridan does not actually hate Sollux, at least not to the level of pitch/ashen. TWICE before Sollux and Feferi start hanging out all the time, we see Eridan commenting on Sollux in a fairly neutral-negative way - the first time calling him "a drama machine" and noting that "it is fuckin pathetic," and the second time as "the dead guy who saved [Feferi]". And let's be clear about the former, Eridan is just kind of Like That, he's rude as fuck even about people he LIKES (calling his BFF Karkat an "assblood" and sarcastically referring to Feferi by her royal titles), so that's actually one of the less nasty things he's said about someone.

Meanwhile, on Sollux's end, he LITERALLY says "not interested" to what he perceives as pitch/ashen advances from Eridan. Like, actually just says those words out loud. Not even in a pesterlog, he actually just says those words with his mouth.

So it seems to me that there's a pretty clear case to be made here that Eridan and Sollux kind of just... don't really give a shit about each other, and probably wouldn't have interacted in any substantial way if not for Feferi's involvement. Especially because Eridan's chosen method of hitting on Sollux is with casteism, something he's already faking in the first place.

If we really want to dig into this, though, it's kind of - in my eyes - a lukewarm case of the hedgehog dilemma. They're a bit too similar, and it winds up causing them both mild pain to get too close.

They're both nihilists that kind of hate themselves. Sollux's mutated brain causes him a not-insignificant amount of discomfort, his visions of the future and of the "imminently doomed" have made him lose a lot of hope, and he blames himself for killing Aradia, something so painful that he didn't tell anyone else she died, to the point where most of the team - including Terezi and Tavros - had to find out after entering the game. Meanwhile, Eridan struggles with the perceived inevitability of a lifestyle that causes him nothing but distress, and his constant, overwhelming anxiety about it leads to constant stressing over whether or not he's "good enough"; whenever he's in severe emotional distress, he starts beating up on himself.

They also both front at being more okay with their problems than they actually are. Sollux has his 1337 hacker, two cool for you persona that he puts on, and Eridan is always trying to be the big bad sea dweller. For example, Sollux goes "I'm not trolling the humans, it's beneath me," but he's in Jade's trollslum, so the implication there is that he totally did try trolling, it went badly for him, and now he's pretending that he was always better than that. And I don't think I need to tell you how hard Eridan works to try and present himself as badass and scary and totally not deep in the throes of emotional anguish at all times.

And these are the similarities that ultimately make Erisolsprite so stable. Erisolsprite speculates that maybe the reason he hasn't exploded yet is that deep down, he loves to suffer. The truth is, there's nothing between the two that's really so objectionable that they would ACTUALLY hate each other; Eridan isn't actually casteist, and Eridan never really hated Sollux in the first place.

Neither would they bring each other any comfort or joy - Eridan doesn't have any sympathy for Sollux's baggage, since, like, what, he only killed ONE person, and was even under mind control, so it's not like it was really his fault. He's a drama machine. And Sollux wouldn't have sympathy for Eridan's problems, partially because they manifest in such cringeworthy, embarrassing ways (and Sollux is highly sensitive to not being cringe, seeing as he's always commenting on other people being embarrassing or overly earnest), and partially because - I mean, fuck it, he's a rich-ass sea dweller who doesn't need to worry about being harvested to be a battery for a living ship. And also he's an idiot.

That's kind of what their relationship is to me, you know? A tepid and lukewarm dislike. They're just similar enough to each other to understand the other, and just different enough to be like "ugh, but that guy suuuuuuuucks". It's very funny, but not really a ship, hahaha.

So what you really get from that is two guys that just kind of dislike each other. Not vehemently or diametrically enough for pitch or ashen, and not a trace of the requisite pity for flushed or pale. When you throw the two together into one sprite, it won't shut up about how much it hates itself, how each part of itself is flabberghasted by the other, and how much practically the only reason it doesn't explode is a resounding "meh."

Eridan likes to validate his despair; ironically, since it's all he's ever known, it's where he feels comfortable - and nobody would provide better doomscrolling material than the doom player. Similarly, Sollux likes to torment himself, suffering his guilt in silence, and Eridan has SO MUCH to feel guilty over. Combine them into one entity, and you have a guy who can reach SUCH levels of revelling in his own misery, you don't even KNOW.

Not that it's healthy or positive for either of them... just that it would be incredibly stable. It's their worst tendencies being satisfied by each other. Maybe that's a form of leprechaun romance, but it's certainly not a quadrant.

[gatheringbones]

[“In the 1980s, social psychologist James W. Pennebaker conducted some now-famous studies on his theory of expressive writing. Pennebaker instructed participants in his experimental group to write about a past trauma, expressing their very deepest thoughts and feelings surrounding it. In contrast, control participants were asked to write as objectively and factually as possible about neutral topics without revealing their emotions or opinions. For both groups, the schedule was fifteen minutes of continuous writing repeated over four consecutive days. Some of the participants in the experimental group found the exercise upsetting. All of them found it valuable and meaningful. Monitoring over the subsequent year revealed that those participants made significantly fewer visits to physicians. Pennebaker’s research has since been replicated numerous times and his results supported: Expressive writing about trauma strengthens the immune system, decreases obsessive thinking, and contributes to the overall health of the writers. And this is after only four days of fifteen-minute sessions.

Pennebaker has since written extensively about how this effect can also be consistent on a much larger scale, in communities who have suffered the atrocities of war and other political events. The articulation of painful memories, including the literature and art that arises out of political upheaval, is integral to the formation, preservation, and integration of collective memory. Let’s face it: if you write about your wounds, it is likely to be therapeutic. Of course, the writing done in those fifteen minutes was surely terrible by artistic standards. But it is a logical fallacy to conclude that any writing with therapeutic effect is terrible. You don’t have to be into therapy to be healed by writing. Being healed does not have to be your goal. But to oppose the very idea of it is nonsensical, unless you consider what such a bias reveals about our values as a culture. Knee-jerk bias backed by flimsy logic and pseudoscience has always been a preferred disguise of our national prejudices. That these topics of the body, the emotional interior, the domestic, the sexual, and the relational are all undervalued in intellectual literary terms, and are all associated with the female spheres of being, is not a coincidence. This bias against personal writing is often a sexist mechanism, founded on the false binary between the emotional (female) and the intellectual (male), and intended to subordinate the former.”]

melissa febos, from body work: the radical power of personal narrative, 2022

[masochist-marmot]

I hate the Naoto gender discourse

TW: transphobia, gender dysphoria, Naoto Shirogane

First of all, I think it's entirely valid to read whatever you want into fictional characters. Art is meant to be interpreted and to evoke something in the audience, and while it's useful to consider the author's intent, it's just as valid to interpret the text on its own.

In Persona 4, the intended reading is this: Naoto is and has always been a girl who wishes to be taken seriously in her male-dominated field. She confuses these feelings for identifying as a boy, and it's up to our party to set her back on the straight path and accept her role as young woman. Rise is incredibly eager to chastise this "young lady" immediately after learning about the reality, and throughout the game we are helping her to be more comfortable with being a girl. This is quite straightforwardly what the text is saying.

How many fans (me included) see the text is this: Naoto displays signs of gender dysphoria and struggles with their gender identity. Even after you have talked them out of a literal gender-affirming surgery (performed by a mad scientist, because why not make it extra scary to boot), they continue to present as a boy. During the rest of the game as well as Naoto's social link, you and your party can continue to push femininity on them. They're forced into a swimsuit contest, where they refuse to show up on the stage, and Yosuke says he knew it would happen. If you want to date Naoto, you have to pick the options where you tell them you like them as a girl, even though you get more social link points if you say their gender doesn't matter. This implies that Naoto is more comfortable with the way they present now, but feels that they have to present more feminine if they want to date you (which sounds like heteronormative bullshit to me). It's probably not difficult to see why this would make some players uncomfortable.

Now to the point of this post: There's a big (or just vocal?) portion of the fanbase that will call you media illiterate or delusional if you bring up your discomfort with how Naoto's gender was handled. And I can't stand it. As I demonstrated above, I know what the text is saying and have a problem with it. Media literacy isn't just about recognising what is being said, but also why it's being said. And Naoto's character arc displays well intentioned ignorance and heteronormative values at best, and malicious TERF-like ideology at worst. I'm inclined to believe it's the former, as the game and the series more widely don't seem to have a malicious intent behind them, although they certainly have other uncomfortable parts (I could make a very similar post about Kanji).

So why do so many people have an issue with the trans Naoto reading? Well, in games like these, players tend to form strong emotional connections to the characters. I'm guessing that for a lot of people it's important that their waifu is, well, a waifu. (I'm personally too pan to understand this and will advocate using "waifu" as a gender neutral word.) I'm sure some of it is annoyance with the notion of the interpretation contradicting with canon, which is apparently law. People feel like you're projecting something onto the text and not getting the intended meaning. Which feels like a weird point, since everyone is projecting some of their own feelings onto any text. And then there's your good old transphobia that manifests as a myriad of rationalisations (including the one about canon being law). I usually try to understand where people are coming from, but some people can't be reasoned with.

I don't have a conclusion, I just had to get this out.

TLDR; Stop bullying people who choose to view a character through a different lens than you do, and please practice your empathy and critical thinking skills.

[beevean]

I don't think I've ever seen anyone trying to analyze Lilly's route, in particular the choices that lead to the Good Ending, despite her being by far the most popular girl. It took me years to understand the logic of the choices, but I think I got it.

As a recap: to get the Good Ending, you need to make three correct choices, making Lilly's route the most delicate of the five: it's possible to mess up in Act 2, and not see any repercussion until Act 4.

The repercussion is that Akira drops the bombshell that Lilly has been planning to rejoin their parents in Scotland, permanently, and hid this from Hisao. If you failed to get the Good Ending, the story simply... stops, and Lilly and Akira leave forever leaving Hisao and Hanako behind. If you do get the Good Ending, the story continues and Hisao gains the inspiration to chase Lilly down to apologize for not being there for her during such a difficult time.

The difference between the Neutral Ending and the Good Ending is that Hisao in the former never realizes that he took Lilly for granted, and he only saw her as the perfect girlfriend and person, so when she goes away, he simply lets her, powerless; while in the Good Ending he recognizes that she too is human and she too needs help, and he gains the courage to do so. But how did he come to this conclusion?

The three choices are, apparently inconsequential and fairly obvious. In those three circumstances, Hisao has the choice to be honest or keep things to himself: as the player has learned in the Mind Your Step scene, in Act 1, being secretive leads to your death lol. Lilly values honesty, that's something that she insists on frequently; but the logic can't be so simple. Why would Hisao completely give up on Lilly if one day months before he didn't feel like sharing his thoughts?

Let's go through a rundown:

A Brief History of Thyme, choice 1:

LILLY: "Are you all right, Hisao?" HISAO: "Sorry?" LILLY: "You just seemed to go very quiet, that's all." HISAO: "Ah, sorry. I was just thinking." LILLY: "Oh?" NARRATOR: "Ah, now I've piqued her curiosity. It feels kind of overly personal to talk about though..."

Hisao is caught being lost in his thoughts, and Lilly innocently asks what they're about. He feels self-conscious as he was thinking of her, her life, and her relationships, so he's hesitant to answer.

If you "Tell the truth":

HISAO: "It was just kind of... I was thinking about how you seem to have everything so sorted out, even with Hanako relying on you. I can admit that even I kind of relied on you when I first transferred in. I think it's a good quality to have." NARRATOR: "I turn to Lilly, surveying her reaction. She's forcing herself to look forward and furrowing her brow quite a bit. Her face looks a bit awkward, as if she was trying to find just the right words." HISAO: "...Lilly?" LILLY: "I would thank you, but... assuming that I don't rely on the presence of others is too much. You'd be wrong to think that Hanako simply depends on me with nothing in return." NARRATOR: "She seems to have a bit of trouble saying it, even though it's largely what I'd thought already. If she's tried so hard to maintain her independence, as anyone would have had to in her position, sighted or not, maybe she finds it hard to talk about her own needs. It's only now that I realize an omission in what she says, though. I decide to follow it up, largely in jest, to avoid things getting too personal." HISAO: "Oh? And what about me?" NARRATOR: "She suddenly runs ahead of me and turns, blocking me off. With a smile, she holds her hands behind her as she leans forwards." LILLY: "You're different."

So, not only Hisao and Lilly gets a cute bonding moment, but Lilly already reveals the core message of her route.

Hisao believes Lilly "seems to have her life set up and going just as she wants," and has everything sorted out. Lilly, however, admits that it's not true and she too relies on the presence of others. Both her words and her reluctance to say them are key to what follows in her route. "Maybe she finds it hard to talk about her own needs," oh my sweet summer child.

Contrast with "Just what is she thinking now? I look up to the dark sky as I slump my shoulders. I think this is something I have to sort out for myself, rather than relying on her for everything," which is what Hisao thinks if you "Avoid the subject". If he's honest, Lilly passes the message that everyone relies on someone; if he's not, Hisao thinks he'd better only rely on himself... leaving Lilly in the same position.

Prelude, choice, 2:

LILLY: "If you want to sleep more, you should really go to bed earlier. I heard the television going long into the night." HISAO: "Sorry about that. My medications have been interfering with my sleep for a while now. Even if I'm tired I have trouble actually sleeping." LILLY: "I'm... sorry for bringing it up, Hisao." NARRATOR: "I sigh. This is exactly the kind of thing I wish others wouldn't do."

Hisao is still self-conscious about his condition, and doesn't want to be pitied, even more so by the naturally caring and motherly Lilly.

But we must "Address it":

HISAO: "Come on, you worry about me more than I do at times. It just means I have to sleep a bit longer, that's all." LILLY: "But still..." HISAO: "I'd say that I look absolutely fine, but I guess that wouldn't have a lot of meaning for you." NARRATOR: "She gives a sigh of consternation before trailing off with an amused chuckle, giving up the point." LILLY: "If you say so. Please do take care of yourself, Hisao."

Not doing so has Hisao awkwardly telling Lilly to help Hanako, which she doesn't appreciate.

This choice is mostly about Hisao, and it picks back one of the most important lessons of the game. The story is very, very clear that he must not wallow in self-pity and denial: he has a medical condition, and that condition comes with challenges, but that doesn't make him any lesser. If his shame makes him push people away, he won't get far.

Hisao's conception of Lilly is of a loving, but fretting figure that at worst pities him from her position of superiority. If he waves her off, too ashamed and prideful to open up, he doesn't fully challenge his misconception, and doesn't fully realize that she's more vulnerable that she lets on.

Out and About, choice 3:

LILLY: "But on that note, what of your confessions, Hisao? I'm sure someone like you must have had at least one admirer." NARRATOR: "As I open my mouth to speak, I can feel my face turn slightly dour. At times like this, I secretly appreciate the fact that she can't see my expressions." HISAO: "Just... one. Her name was Iwanako. It was when she confessed to me that I had my heart attack. There in the woods, during winter." NARRATOR: "Lilly finds herself speechless, not expecting for the topic to move into such an area. My condition has always been something of a concern for her, something that I strive to minimize despite my body's best efforts to the contrary." HISAO: "Afterwards, she visited me for a while when I was in the hospital. For weeks she came in and talked. It was usually just smalltalk or classroom gossip, but that was enough. But eventually... she just stopped coming. She was there every day. Then every other day. Then once a week. Then finally, one day, she just stopped visiting entirely." LILLY: "Did you ever... see her again?"

Lilly has inadvertedly hit a sore spot for Hisao. The two are together and having a sweet romantic date, but he understandably wouldn't like to talk about what was effectively the lowest point of his life.

It would be understandable if he "Dropped the subject", because as he points out, their date is about them, not a girl that broke up with him months before. But it's best if we "Mention the letter", because the following piece is crucial:

NARRATOR: "The memory of that single letter Iwanako sent me comes back to my mind." HISAO: "I never saw her again, but after I was sent to Yamaku... she wrote me one letter." NARRATOR: "Lilly's face shows an expression I know well. I've piqued her interest. I'd be slightly offended that it's simply a matter of curiosity for her, but she's never been very good at masking her reactions." HISAO: "In hindsight, it really didn't say much. What was going on in my old class, how she was faring, and, almost as an afterthought, that it was probably best for the both of us that we don't see each other again. After reading it, I ended up reassessing a lot of things I thought I'd managed to work out. For the most part, that letter reminded me that the world around me was still moving, and just how much I'd become isolated from it. And... I guess it also reminded me of what I'd lost." NARRATOR: "She gives the information some thought before her face lights up in realization. No doubt she's worked out that it was this letter which had contributed to my angst during that lunch on the rooftop. It's a rare sight to see Lilly quite so lost for words, her entire persona is a little deflated from her earlier rapt interest. As charismatic as she is, in the end that isn't any replacement for life nor relationship experience." LILLY: "Perhaps... it is better she sent it than not." HISAO: "How's that?" LILLY: "It can be difficult to work out how best to communicate with those you haven't met in a long time. All the more so, considering your separate situations. Instead of doing what was easiest, she built up the courage to talk to you one last time; not only for her sake but, from how it sounds, for yours as well." HISAO: "Maybe. I don't hate her for it, not that I really ever did, but... I don't know." NARRATOR: "Probably a more noncomittal answer than I should give, but it isn't without cause. I've never looked at the situation from Iwanako's perspective like that before."

We have a lot packed here. Hisao admits and puts into words how much Iwanako's letter shook him and forced him to reconsider that he hadn't moved on as easily as he had thought. He realizes that Lilly may be charismatic, which I suppose is a way to say that she looks mature and reliable, but she still lacks life and relationship experience. Lilly commends Iwanako for having the courage to speak to Hisao one last time to have a proper closure. Hisao is seeing the situation for the first time from the girl's perspective.

With all of this in mind, it makes perfect sense that only by being honest with Lilly three times, he can reach this conclusion in False Cadence:

"I had thought her sense of independence to be a good and admirable trait. It was in stark difference to my reliance on my parents before my heart attack, as reluctant as I may have been to admit it. However, it also meant that she never let people get too close to her. She lost her family likely due to her blindness, went to a different school from anybody she knew because of it, and worked all the harder to make sure she didn't end up a burden on her sister and those around her. And now, Akira's going to Inverness, just like the family she thought she'd lost. She never told me of her plans, as conflicted as she was about them. Lilly didn't want to be a burden on anyone, including me. ...I'm an idiot." "I never questioned it. I never tried to be there or asked when she needed me to. I just set my life up and expected it to stay that way forever, with the two of us having a nice long relationship where we pushed forwards towards our future together. A small pit of frustration and anger at myself wells up in my chest. I just let everything happen, never even trying to help Lilly. Just her being there was enough. I thought I could keep going on if that were true. But that could never have been enough. It was a childlike dependence on somebody, without any attempt to understand or help their situation. Thanks to that, I lost Lilly. I lost the one person I loved most because I wasn't there for her when she needed me."

And why he would even have the idea of chasing her down before it's too late, much like Iwanako chose to be brave enough to send him one last letter.

While I still think these three choices are very obvious to pick, which takes away the fun of guessing what would be the right thing to do, I really like how everything ties together and subtly conveys the message of Lilly's route: no one is perfect, there is no shame is needing help, and two lovers have to be there for each other and allow the other to be there for them. Poor Lilly lived for years with the convinction that if she just was perfect and went beyond the limits of her pesky blindness, her parents would love her again. Hisao has the chance to teach her that she doesn't need to pretend to be flawless, as long as he too challenges himself and his own shame.

[queerliblib]

The Library of the Unwritten series by AJ Hackwith has canon polyamory and also a bunch of queer rep.

Many years ago, Claire was named Head Librarian of the Unwritten Wing-- a neutral space in Hell where all the stories unfinished by their authors reside. Her job consists mainly of repairing and organizing books, but also of keeping an eye on restless stories that risk materializing as characters and escaping the library. When a Hero escapes from his book and goes in search of his author, Claire must track and capture him with the help of former muse and current assistant Brevity and nervous demon courier Leto. But what should have been a simple retrieval goes horrifyingly wrong when the terrifyingly angelic Ramiel attacks them, convinced that they hold the Devil's Bible. The text of the Devil's Bible is a powerful weapon in the power struggle between Heaven and Hell, so it falls to the librarians to find a book with the power to reshape the boundaries between Heaven, Hell….and Earth.

These books are some of my favs that I've ever read and Claire's story is beautiful and has a great ending. The poly relationship that blooms through the sequels is done so thoughtfully. The world is tied together by the importance of words, and the stories an individual (person or item) carries with them. The author has a clear love of words and art and uses these works to talk about how creating is sacred and should be valued and protected for the sake of it.

some more polyamorous recs! we don’t have these (yet at least) but perhaps you can track them down at your local public library if interested.

when we eventually get a bigger curated list for polyamory, we promise we’ll be posting about that too!!

[thebluestbluewords]

The Same Coin

I’m still having fun with the Valentine’s ficlets, so have some benlos! Set in no particular timeline, but there’s a nod to poly ot5 in the background.

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“We don’t celebrate valentine’s day. On the Isle.” 

Ben tilts his head. His face is set into one of the middle levels of the Neutral Face of Acceptance, one of the ones that means he’s genuinely listening, not just trying not to look horrified while he thinks about other things. “Oh?” 

“It’s about feelings,” Carlos says slowly, trying to come up with a way to say the next part that won’t sound horrible. “And like, love, and stuff. And. We weren’t exactly. Allowed. To do that.” 

Ben cocks his head somehow further into the Neutral Acceptance Position. “What, to love people?” 

Nail, head. 

“Uh, yeah.” 

“I’m…” Ben trails off into silence for a moment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think this would be so different for you four. Valentine’s day is so…” 

“So commercialized?” Carlos says, before he can think twice about how mean it sounds. He’s supposed to be having a meaningful moment where he gets to help the king reach some sort of shared cultural understanding with the poor sad Isle kids he’s so kindly pulled out of their pathetic former existence, and instead of being sincere, like an Auradon kid should be, he’s making fun of Ben’s beloved holiday. And like, family tradition. Probably. He should just stop thinking. “I mean, uh. Not that buying your girlfriend stuff is a bad thing. It’s fine. The more stuff you buy here, the more junk people have to donate to us, so. I’ll just. Uh.  Stop talking.” 

Ben smiles, but his expression had slipped into something more like a strained grimace, all tight and fake around the eyes.  “I was going to say ingrained in our culture.. We’re taught to value love, so I assumed that the same would hold true for you. I should have known better.” 

“Ouch.” 

Ben goes red. “Not that you four don’t feel love!” 

It’s easier to look at Ben now that they’ve both put their foot in it. “I feel rage,” Carlos offers, softly. “If that helps at all.” 

“It’s not quite the same thing.” 

“Two sides of the same feeling,” Carlos says, feeling the weight of the words as they leave his mouth. “My mom’s not a great example, but she told me that you can’t hate something if you don’t love it, at least a little bit. They come from the same place, y’know. When you feel so much that there’s nowhere else for the feelings to go. They either come out as love, I guess, or if there’s too much, or the love isn’t reflected back…” 

Ben nods, and reaches over to take his hand. “Rage?” 

“Hatred, anger, jealousy.” Carlos ticks the feelings off on the fingers of his free hand as he goes. He doesn’t exactly like holding hands, because there’s too many opportunities to get distracted and leave yourself open if you’re walking hand in hand with someone, but it’s okay right now because they’re not moving, so there’s no way for Ben to pull him down and make it look like an accident, and they’re alone enough that nobody’s going to shout at them for doing it, and it’s still light enough that they could see anyone coming and let go before they’d get in trouble. “They’re all the same feeling. If obsession is good you end up in love with the thing, and if it’s bad you end up hating it with the same enthusiasm.” 

“I don’t think I could ever hate you,” Ben says softly. He’s doing a distracting thing with his hand, a little squeeze that’s drawing all of Carlos’s attention to where they’re connected. “Do you ever think that maybe your mom was wrong?” 

“About dogs, and driving cars, and how much pepper should go on food, yeah.” Carlos says. “But not this.” 

“Oh.” 

“Not–”  Carlos stutters around the words. He’s not sure what he even wants to say, but he’s so sure of this one. He used to hate Mal, back home when she was the one pushing him into closets and lockers and stealing his inventions, and then it was like a switch got flipped and all the times he’d followed her around to make her day worse, to try and spit gum into her hair from rooftops, and drop salt into her coffee when she left it on her school desk all seemed petty and stupid in light of how much he was suddenly devoted to her. He’d hated Jay too, up until the moment when he looked over at the wrong time, and all the feelings switched over into confused-hungry-aching, and he couldn’t stand to look at him, until his feelings for Mal settled into place and he fell in love with the both of them. 

He’s never not loved Evie, but Evie’s special. 

“Not like that.” Carlos says, finally. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just that I don’t know how to have emotions like normal people do, and for me, they’re sort of the same thing.” 

The callouses on Ben’s writing finger slide against the rough skin on Carlos’s knuckles. The places where he’s split them open from hot water and abrasive chemicals don’t hurt anymore, but they catch, against the rough pieces of Ben. 

He’s wearing them down. Evie’s helping, with her potions and chemistry. They’re working on it together. 

“Okay,” Ben says, and he’s not looking at Carlos. “Is it okay if I say I love you anyway?” 

The horrible-wonderful feeling that’s somewhere between fear and anger and love bursts hot and painful in his chest. 

“Yeah,” Carlos whispers. His voice cracks anyway, because it’s stupid that way. “I can’t– I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to say it back. But I don’t hate you.” 

A squeeze. 

“I love you too.”