#the first seasons had so much heart and now i am just. continually disappointed every week😭
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bookinit02 · 2 months ago
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911 really does not know how to follow through on their plots. everything feels somehow dragged out and glossed over at the same time, and then resolved in some slapdash unsatisfying way. and they’re like: here’s beenado! here’s a denny nde on halloween! here’s a funny boils curse! and it’s like. ok sure that’s fine. but not at the expense of everything else? it wouldn’t even take much is the thing. it would be so easy to write this coherently. and they just. choose not to
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nadvs · 1 month ago
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   ⊹ ❀ ︵ ∘  destined ⟢
pairing singledad! zach maclaren x nanny! female reader
summary after you find out you’re pregnant, you tell zach and prepare to share the news together.
this is a continuation blurb of this two-shot! requested by anon.
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You impatiently check the time on your phone again. It’s been fourteen minutes since you sat down in the private room at the doctor’s office.
Your eyes travel over the lockscreen photo from your wedding half a year ago. In the captured moment, Zach is holding Ella. Her left arm is around her father’s shoulders and her right is around yours.
Her poofy dress is sparkling under the warm banquet hall lights, her smile just as big as yours and Zach’s.
You’d done a lot of happy crying that day, but a moment after the photo was taken, you’d never had tears of joy quite like this.
Ella had run off after the shutter of the photographer’s camera and Zach pulled you in by the waist, his lips soft against your cheek, murmuring just loud enough to be heard over the music and people dancing around you, “You know what she asked me this morning?”
“What?”
“Since I get to call you my wife, if she can call you her mommy.”
You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, tearing up as he held you tighter. She had just turned seven years old and still didn’t talk about her biological mother all that much. She also hadn’t called you anything other than your name.
Zach had told you he’d be comfortable with it if Ella grew to want to call you her mom. You’d told him you’d be, too, but that you hoped she didn’t think you were ever trying to replace anyone.
“Really?” you said, your hand over your heart. “What’d you say?”
“I said she can,” he replied. You pulled back to meet his eyes, beaming up at him, almost in disbelief that three years ago, you’d knocked on his door for the first time. You could have never known the turn your life would take.
“You love her like she’s yours,” he said, his eyes glossy, “and she loves you the same way. I’m so happy she has you.”
You squeezed his hand. He’d already reassured you many times that you weren’t taking the place of Ella’s mother or being a substitution for what she lost. Instead, you’re an addition to their lives.
“I can’t believe how lucky I am,” he said. The tears he was trying to hold back fell from his eyes and he chuckled defeatedly. “Who’s cried more today, do you think?”
“I’d say it’s even,” you said with a laugh.
The door opening pulls you out of the memory. You meet the doctor’s eyes, your heart thrumming.
You and Zach had been trying for a baby for four months now. You didn’t even have to ask Ella what she thought about gaining a sibling. She’d been asking for one for a long time now.
After a string of failed attempts, you prefer not to tell Zach every time you take a test. You can see the disappointment in his eyes, no matter how hard he tries to hide it behind a gentle, “The baby just wants to make us wait.”
A couple of nights ago, when the home test you secretly took showed two lines, you booked a blood test to be sure. The doctor starts her sentence with Congratulations and you exhale a shaky breath of relief.
────୨ৎ────
Later that day, you’re folding laundry in the living room while Ella’s at school. Zach gets home from an early practice and beams when he sees you, dropping his bag on the floor.
“Hi, baby,” he says. “How are you?”
“Good. How was training?”
“I’m getting old,” he chuckles, stretching his arms over his head. You laugh.
Zach had already decided that after eight years, this is his last season professionally playing. He was offered a position on the coaching team after he told his managers he’d be resigning. He’s ready to slow down, to work a job that doesn’t have such a high risk of injury, to have more time for his family.
He sits next to you, takes the t-shirt out of your hands, folds it and then puts it on the stack on the table so that you’re free to hug him. You giggle as he leans forward and pushes you back against the couch. He’s hovering over you, his cheek pressed on yours as he hugs you, smelling like his body wash.
Zach lives for these simple moments. Getting home to you, holding you, grounding himself and reminding himself that this is what life is about.
“Hey, how’s your day look six Mondays from now?” you ask.
“That’s specific,” he laughs. “I’ll have to check. Why?”
“I’d prefer it if you came to the ultrasound with me.”
He pulls back, searching your face in awe.
“What?” he whispers. “Are you… What?”
“I am,” you laugh, tears building in your eyes, stroking his soft hair.
“When did you…?”
“This morning,” you say. “I didn’t want to tell you in case it came back negative.”
“I’m…” Zach doesn’t have words. He leans forward, gently pressing his lips against yours, shuffling quickly so he doesn’t put any weight on you.
“It’s okay,” you laugh. “You won’t break us.”
“Us,” he repeats happily, his voice cracking. He looks down at your stomach, gently putting his hand on you. “It’s okay that you made us wait,” he whispers to the baby. “I already know you were worth it. Are you being gentle with your mom?”
He looks up at you, a flash of concern washing over his awestruck face.
“I’m a little more tired than usual,” you say. “But nothing crazy yet.”
“I can’t believe it,” Zach sighs. He sniffles, his heart racing with happiness as his eyes fill with tears. “I can’t believe it.”
“I know,” you breathe. “Me, neither. We can give her the book soon.”
Zach smiles. He’d bought a children’s book a few months back about becoming a big sister for when it was time to tell Ella a baby was on the way.
Having known you for nearly four years now, he was already well aware of how pure your heart is. But the fact that your first thought is to tell Ella is yet another reminder of how you’ve always seen yourself as not only sharing your life with him, but with her, too.
“Gonna be hard not to do it right away,” he says.
“Do you have any idea how hard these last three hours have been?” you laugh. “I couldn’t wait to tell you. But we’ll share the news with her after the first trimester. To be safe.”
“Of course,” he agrees, cupping your face and pulling you in for another tender kiss.
────୨ৎ────
By the three month mark, your appetite has grown and fatigue has hit you hard. When the day comes to tell Ella, you’re bursting with excitement to tell her the news.
After dinner, you sit on the couch, already used to Zach quietly telling you to sit down and not do any housework.
Ella’s doing homework at the coffee table as you help. You gaze at her as she concentrates on her writing and remember the four-year-old she was when you first walked into this house.
She’s nearly eight now and still has so many of the qualities you’d first noticed about her. She’s energetic and loves conversation and never hesitates to show affection.
Zach comes in from cleaning up after dinner and raises his eyebrows at you, discreetly holding the book. You nod to confirm you’re ready, nervous.
He sits next to you, taking one last moment to look at you and at his daughter, accepting that this is the last moment the three of you will have like this. His family is growing now, and it feels like his heart is, too.
“Is it two R’s? Or one?” Ella mumbles, the pencil in her hand. She looks up when you don’t answer, too busy trying not to cry as you watch her. “Are you okay, mommy?”
“Yeah,” you say. “I’m okay. Can you sit with us for a moment?”
Ella nods, running towards you. Zach stops her in his arms before she lands too close to you. You laugh, having already told him privately that she’s never rough enough to hurt the baby, but he can’t be too careful.
“I have a book for you,” Zach says, kissing Ella on the temple as she sits between you. “Can you tell me what you think?”
He hands her the purple hardcover.
“What’s it called?” you ask.
“Big Sisters Are The Best,” she reads. She curiously opens the page, gazing over the illustrations of a little girl with a baby.
“Thank you,” she says politely. “I’ll tell my friend Kaley about this book. Maybe she can borrow it. She’s a big sister.”
You chuckle, meeting Zach’s eyes. He rubs Ella’s back and tells her, “You’re going to be a big sister, too, honey.”
Ella’s gaze darts up to him, then to you, then back again.
“Really?” she says. Zach’s face brightens with endearment, eyes growing shiny with tears.
“Really?” she repeats, looking at you.
“Really,” you say, putting a hand over your stomach. “That’s why I keep going back for seconds at dinner lately. There’s a baby in here making me extra hungry.”
Ella stands up, unable to contain her happiness, jumping up and down in her spot a few times before wrapping you into a hug. You laugh as she wiggles in your arms.
Zach wipes his eyes, still unsure of what he did to deserve this sort of happiness. It’s like he’s in another world, experiencing a type of joy reserved specifically for him.
“This is the best day ever,” she says. “And you’re the best mommy ever and daddy’s the best daddy ever.”
“He is,” you agree, looking at him with pure love.
────୨ৎ────
“You’re such a girl dad,” you say amusedly when you go into Ella’s bedroom.
Zach’s sitting on the floor as Ella adds what looks like the twentieth clip in his hair, while he holds Olivia, who’s happily ripping up a piece of paper.
He smiles at you gratefully. Your one-year-old is exactly how Ella was at that age. Curious, smiley, and eager to make messes wherever she can. He knows you’re technically a blended family, but it has never felt like that.
“Ella, can you do mine next?” you ask.
“After Olivia,” she says happily. “I told her she’s next and I have to keep my promise.”
“Of course,” you say. “She’s lucky to have such a nice big sister.”
“Ebba,” Olivia babbles.
“Ella,” Ella corrects. You laugh. It feels like yesterday, you’d just met her and Zach, and he was correcting her on how she’d called him the bestest. Now, she’s growing before your eyes, already so mature and well-mannered.
“But Ebba’s okay,” Ella says with a smile. She leans to give her little sister a kiss on the forehead, earning a giggle from her, clapping for more.
You sit on the floor next to Zach, squeezing his knee lovingly as your daughters laugh together. He takes your hand and brings it up to kiss the back of it.
“And to think,” you joke, “we wouldn’t be here if I bombed my interview.”
Zach laughs, shaking his head as he kisses your hand again.
“No,” he says. “This is how life was meant to be. You would have found us, no matter what. I know it.”
You grin at him, nodding in agreement.
Sitting here with his wife and daughters is the definition of destiny. Zach knows deep in his soul that he was always fated to be right here, with his heart split between three beautiful girls.
(the end)
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dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year ago
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Not A Verstappen: A New World {9}
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader x Lando Norris Summary: Two more races closer to the end of the season and all that means is the competition is fiercer than ever and every point is a battle to win. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, assault, angst WC: 2k F1 Masterlist NAV: Sibling Rivalry One || Two || Three NAV: Gridlocked One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine NAV: A New World One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten
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Round Sixteen - Singapore GP
Charles was worried about you. You had barely said a word since the race ended, only congratulating your boyfriends on their great results. You were disappointed in yourself for finishing last place. Technically it was 15th place but everyone behind you had DNF’d so you were the last one to cross the finish line.
The bath did little to ease the tension embroiled in your body and you sank down beneath the surface. A wavering image of Charles filled your vision as he took a seat at the edge of the bathtub and trickled his fingers through the water. Only when your lungs began to burn did you resurface with a deep gasp for fresh air.
“You’re going to catch a cold, ma chérie,” Charles said softly as he wiped away the rivulets of water. It was almost like he knew they were mixed with your tears. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit,” you whispered. “I think I am just going to stay in tonight, I don’t want to hold you back from celebrating. You guys did great today.”
“You are being too hard on yourself. It sucks, Lando and I know that first hand,” he chuckled, referring back to the first half of the season. “But you’ll come back stronger, I know you. You’ll be back in the points next week.”
You smiled weakly at his confidence and accepted his hand that helped pull you from the bath. “Are you willing to bet on that?”
“D'accord,” he nodded, wrapping you tightly in a towel before kissing your forehead. “I have faith in you, mon amour.”
“That makes one of us,” you joked, feeling a little better now that you were wrapped in his arms. “You should get ready to go, Lando is going to need you to carry him home tonight.”
“Mon Dieu, him and Carlos drinking together,” Charles groaned as if just realising what he was in for. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
You nodded and stepped out of the bathroom to grab your phone. “I think there is another Verstappen somewhere around here feeling sorry for himself too, and misery loves company.”
Max arrived before Lando had finished styling his hair and he came bearing gifts, a bag of mouthwatering food packed full of local dishes in one hand and a bottle of gin in the other. 
“Now it’s a pity party,” you laughed as he made himself comfortable in the living room. He didn’t even bother with plates, just eating straight out of the containers while he changed the channel off MTV. “Are you planning on sharing or do I need to order my own?”
“Depends if you care what Kristian thinks,” he shrugged, pushing a container aside. He grinned knowing you couldn’t turn down the grilled kebabs slathered in a sauce that would give your PT a heart attack. “Live dangerously, zusje.”
You snorted and dropped into the seat beside him, grabbing a pair of chopsticks and the dish from the coffee table. “I hate you.”
“Uh-huh, heard that before,” he teased as continued to flick through the channels until he hit the movies. “Fast X?”
“No,” Lando answered for you as he finally appeared from the bathroom with his hair perfectly styled and his shirt half unbuttoned. He explained that it was to combat the humidity in the country but you and Charles knew it was because he loved to flash his tanned and toned chest, almost as much as you liked to see it. “She’ll get pissed off that it is too unrealistic.”
“It is unrealistic,” you pointed out.
Max laughed, “It’s a movie.” But he still changed the channel. “Maverick? The original.”
“Sure,” Charles said with a grin as he pulled his shoes on, “if you want to comfort her when Goose dies.”
“You are impossible.” Max shook his head and tossed the remote on your lap. “You choose something.”
Ready to leave, Charles looked like he was going to ask you if you had changed your mind before thinking better of it. Instead he kissed you as innocently as he could manage with your brother sitting beside you. “Je t’aime.”
“Love you too, have fun.” You held your hand out to Lando and pulled him down to your height for a kiss too. “Not too much fun. I don’t want to wake up to any new CarLando rumours.”
He knew you were joking and he nipped your bottom lip for it before pulling away and holding his necklace up. “Holy trinity, baby: you, Charles and me.”
“That’s why you are missing your top three buttons,” Charles teased as he slung his arm over Lando’s shoulder. “All for the necklace and definitely not vanity.”
“Me? Vain? Never,” Lando scoffed. “I am humble, thank you very much.”
“Mhmm, so humble, mon cher,” Charles agreed sarcastically as he led them to the door before blowing you one final kiss. “Bonne nuit.”
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Round Seventeen - Japan GP
Lawrence wanted to speak to you after the race finished and you hoped it was because he had some answers as to why the car was struggling. The upgrades seemed to make it worse and it was a hell of a push just to get back in the points, but you had made it like Charles assured you would.
Walking into Lance’s side of the garage, you assumed his father would be nearby. What you didn’t account for was Lance storming through the engineers after his DNF. It was a moment of wrong place at the wrong time that put you into his path and you felt the need to at least say something to him.
“Sorry, man, that was a rough one.” Hindsight was a real charmer as his green eyes narrowed with rage and you were shoved to the floor. Your ass met the hard concrete and the garage fell silent as they witnessed the attack.
Your shoulders ached where he had pushed you, but your butt would surely have bruises come morning. Calmly, you swallowed down the pain as the cameras waited for your reaction and you rose to your feet. You wiped the dust from your backside and looked at Lance. “At least I know how you injured your wrists, you’re a real fucking wanker.”
Word spread like wildfire as the footage was shared around the paddock and the world and your call to the Stewards came before Lando finished his podium celebration, the first you hadn’t been there to witness. It only added to your sour mood as you stepped into the meeting room and found an empty chair opposite Lawrence and Lance. You were by no means alone but everyone who had been asked to come as witness were all on Lawrences bank roll so you might as well have been.
The tedious hearing details were read by the Stewards, along with footage that showed the push that put you on your ass. They turned to Lance first, asking for his take on the event and whispered with his father before sitting back.
“It was an accident, I didn’t see her there.”
You scoffed under your breath but caught the look Lawrence sent you as the Steward asked you the same question. It was a look that everyone had warned you about. It was the look that drew the line in the sand of who had his support, and why wouldn’t he take his son’s side - he was a father first and a principal second. It was a look that said you would be finding another team next year if you weren’t careful.
Looking down at your hands the words tasted like ash. “Like Lance said, it was an accident.”
The steward nodded and typed some notes on his laptop. “Then the matter is settled, you will be fined €20,000.00 for unsportsmanlike behaviour.”
You lunged out of your seat and slammed your hands on the table at the ruling. “For what!”
“You saw the same evidence as I did,” he said, ignoring your outburst. “You clearly called Mr Stroll, Lance, a ‘fucking wanker’ on live tv. If that is all, we have another review about to begin.”
You left the room to see Bottas and Sargeant waiting with their team representatives and kept your head low as you passed by, feeling their curious eyes following. Lawrence kept pace with you as you left the building, Lance lagging somewhere behind, and you debated breaking into a sprint to see if the old man could keep up.
“Thank you,” Lawrence said, nearly making you trip over in surprise.
“Thank you?” you growled as you turned on him. “I saved your toddler’s career, you can do better than a fucking ‘thank you’.”
“Lance is struggling and it’s affecting him badly, but that’s no excuse for how he treated you.” Lawrence placed a hand on your shoulder but you shrugged it off as you remembered the look in the meeting room. You may both be wearing the same colours but you were not on the same team.
“You can still be a good father and not protect him from everything. In fact, it might just do him a lot of good in getting his head out of his ass. Now, I am going to go and take an ice bath and you are going to pay my fine. If there’s a bonus in my bank account when I get back to the hotel, we’ll call it even.”
You left without giving him the time to respond and jogged back to hospitality, an unfortunately long distance from the FIA building. Some of the teams were already starting to pack their motorhomes down but Aston Martin was still lively, even more so when you stepped inside and saw Charles, Lando and Max looking tense amongst a group of Lance’s friends that travelled with him .
“Woah, stand down, killers,” you teased with a flippant attitude you didn’t feel. “Shouldn’t you take it out to the parking lot?”
“Too many witnesses,” Max muttered.
“I was joking, we can all relax. You three, my room. Now.” You pointed your finger to the stairs and waited for them to start walking before you followed, glaring at the rest of them. “Don’t you have more important things to do, like I don’t know, check Lance has warm milk in his sippy cup?”
“Little bitch.”
“Fils de pute, va te faire enculer!”
You blocked the stairs but Max had already grabbed Charles and held him back. “That’s an insult to his mother,” you said as the door opened and Lance arrived. “It’s not her fault her son is a sycophant, and here’s his sugar daddy now. Tighten the leash on your little friends, Lance. It’s the least you can do since you owe me.”
His lips twisted into a grimace at the reminder but he jutted his head to the other end of the motorhome and his friends followed him, their disappointment palpable. You could only imagine what he had been telling them in private to create that sort of reaction and realised why the driver had gone through so many teammates on the grid. He was insufferable.
You gently pushed on Charles’ arm when he didn’t move, he was intently watching the group leave and the staff return back to their jobs as if nothing happened. “Come on, babe, let’s just get my stuff and go home.”
“Since when are you the rational one?” Max asked as he led the way with Lando and left you to hook your arm with Charles and follow.
“Maybe I’m finally maturing.” you said with a grin that finally had the tension lifting as they all started to laugh. “Rude.”
Click here for the next part.
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sfhvn-alltheas · 4 months ago
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An open letter to Netflix and for everyone who feels the same
I would like to apologize in advance for any linguistic errors, English is not my native language, but I will do my best to express my concerns appropriately.
I am reaching out to you to express my deep disappointment at your cancellation of Dead Boy Detectives. The news of your decision hit me hard and I would like to ask you to reconsider. I understand that Netflix is ​​a company that is about money, about numbers, about streams, about performance. It is a business and the decisions are based not on emotions but on lucrative fundamentals.
We all know that.
But this cannot work in the long term, not without an outcry from your viewers. Because what you do is selling dreams. You might not see us, but we are here, we are being absorbed into the alternative realities you have created. We live these dreams you sold us. 
You know this, you know that you mostly produce more than just mindless entertainment that is subsequently forgotten, and that is exactly why I feel so let down by you. You are aware that our hearts and souls are attached to these characters, that’s what you want and it totally makes sense. Because whoever is emotional involved stays long term. A show can be so many different things for different people: a place of well-being, comfort, escapism, distraction, mental support, self-discovery. Queer and inclusive programs in particular help people and make them feel seen, understood and accepted. A show can be the only light in a darkness that so many people find themselves in today. A show with their characters can save lives.
How then do only numbers decide whether something continues or not? 
You, as the producer of dreams, have a responsibility to us. Money and numbers should be secondary in your industry. Feel free to call me naive, I am, I like to be, I have to be in this world, but I believe in humanity, in the values ​​that you claim to represent. Not every show can bring in billions. Not all of them can be Wednesday, Squid Game or Bridgerton. Not within fourteen days, not without support. With your impatience, you are depriving great shows of the chance to grow and, over time, attract the viewership that meets your expectations. What I'm trying to express here isn't only about Dead Boy Detectives. It's a fundamental problem.
I am not okay with this
Julie and the Phantoms
The OA
The Society
1899
Six of Crows
Shadow and Bone
Archive 81
Lockwood & Co.
Glamorous
Half Bad: The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself
First Kill
Inside Job
Midnight Club
Warrior Nun
- just to name a few. All this shows have met the same fate, they all were cancelled too soon and never got the chance to grow, to become a next Stranger Things, the next slowburn success.
This has to stop! Imagine having cancelled Stranger Things after one season back in the days. What you would have missed! Instead, you give up on shows too easily without hesitation and disappoint the very people who could have been your allies in the effort to bring the next success.
I honestly don't understand that. And it's not fair either. Not to us, not to the creators and actors who gave their everything. You should trust them to be capable of creating something epic if only they had a little more time. 
I'll tell you how it is: The news that Dead Boy Detectives had been cancelled is devastating. My life pretty much sucks for a few years now and there is little to nothing that still brings me joy. A second season has been the only thing I've been looking forward to these past few months, the anticipation has been the reason I'm still here. You took that away from me. From all of us that are like me. Now I’m sitting here and write this letter, hoping to save the show that has given me so much confidence and joy and meaning, visibility and understanding that it's okay to be who I am. It's not fair that I have to fight to keep this precious show instead of enjoying it while I deal with the wreckage of my life. 
If you don't understand that what you're doing is impacting so many people, then maybe you shouldn't be selling dreams. Better sell electronics.
I won't stop fighting for what means so much to me. It's not too late yet, you can at least right the wrong you did with Dead Boy Detectives. Please do it, give Dead Boy Detectives another chance. We, the viewers, deserve it, the creators and actors deserve it, and most of all the show itself deserves it because it is the greatest thing I have seen in many years.
Thank you for your time and for considering my request.
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chibrary · 11 months ago
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INTERVIEW: "Ferrari, I won't stop believing in it. I see myself as world champion" (La Repubblica, 2022)
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source: alessandra retico, la repubblica published: june 15th, 2022 series: f1, 2022
excerpts:
Do you envy Verstappen at all? No and I don't think he envies anything about me either. We are two different drivers, I focus on myself to be the best version of myself, I will never be someone else. I am happy with my development and will continue to evolve.
You're very tidy on the track, are you also very tidy in your private life? No, I'm messy. I reserve order and discipline for motorsport.
In the film [Lightyear], there is a kiss between two women that has already created controversy: does it surprise you? For me, homosexuality is a completely normal thing, I have gay friends, I don't understand how today there are people who don't understand that love is for everyone. F1 must lend a hand to those who don't have such a powerful voice to express difficulties in everyday life.
They have given you many names: predestined, prince, which one do you recognize yourself in? They are all positive and make me very happy, but what I like most is what my father gave me, pins à roulettes when I started racing, I was 4-5 years old, I was all small and you could only see the big helmet.
Were you never afraid? No, never, even if looking back at the accidents I tell myself I was lucky.
What did you buy with your first paycheck? A 1969 Fiat 500, off-white, convertible. The side-by-side? I didn't have too much trouble driving it. Then I went to Indonesia in Bali with my best friends.
A pinhead with wheels underneath. The yellow helmet was so big and he was so small, that his father called him pins à roulettes: "It's the image that corresponds to me and I like best about myself." Even though Dad Hervé is no longer here, Charles Leclerc still goes fast and stings the heart with the same ardor as when he was a child. He has a Ferrari to do it. "I want to become world champion , I will believe in it until it is no longer mathematically possible." Six poles in 8 grands prix but only 2 successes, now he is 3rd behind the Red Bulls of Verstappen and Perez. Two retirements in the last 3 races (Barcelona and Baku) due to reliability problems, in the middle his very bitter Monte Carlo: from 1st to 4th due to a mix-up of strategies. His engine is in Maranello: in Montreal he will fit a new one, to be determined if he will need a fourth turbo which would cost him a penalty.
Still optimistic? I will never give up, this has always been my mentality. I want to win, the World Cup is long. We have to understand the problems we had, they were three tough blows. Not an easy moment, but this doesn't change my motivation.
Doesn't reliability worry you? No, but a lot of attention is needed, the customer teams also had problems. But I have faith in this team and once the problems have been resolved, the pace and performance are there. I believe in it. I may be crazy, but I also believed in the two previous seasons as soon as I put the visor down, even though I could aim for a 10th place at most. This year we're really there, we just need to focus on ourselves and solve the problems as soon as possible. It's an important championship, we have a great opportunity to do well. There is too much positivity when things go well and too much negativity when they go badly. We need to find a balance.
Did you sleep after Munich? I did it, even if it hurt. But already in Baku I reset and got back in very good shape. It will be the same here in Montreal too.
How do you recover from disappointment after delusion? I know well what it means and what it feels like when you win, it's one of the few things that give me such great happiness. It's this that drives me to train every morning. This year we should have had more successes than we have for the reasons we know, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time to get back to where we want to be.
Do you need more calm or a winning mentality? Everyone has their own way of arriving at things. For me, being calm and concentration are fundamental. And when there is an excess of emotions it is important to return to your own bubble without being disturbed.
Do you have anything special about qualifying? I don't know, you can make a difference on the flying lap, because every mistake you make costs you in the end. For now it's gone well, I understand the car enough. But I'm also happy with the race which was my weak point in 2019, I worked on it and I think I improved a lot.
Compared to your partner, Sainz, you seem to have more confidence with the car. I can't speak for Carlos, this year I prepared better than in the past. Lots of simulator and in the pre-season tests I tried things that perhaps didn't make sense but I didn't want to overlook anything and be as ready as possible for the first race, there I wanted to be where I am and give it my all. It paid off. These new cars are difficult to drive and the details of going fast have changed. All the drivers have made mistakes and it's up to me to make as few as possible. I take risks, like in Imola. Even when you can't see it. I think it's the right approach and for now I'm happy.
Do you envy Verstappen at all? No and I don't think he envies anything about me either. We are two different riders, I focus on myself to be the best version of myself, I will never be someone else. I am happy with my development and will continue to evolve.
How did you miss the plane to Montreal? I went home on Monday. The flight from Nice to Paris was delayed. So I missed the connection but then I arrived safe and on time.
You're very tidy on the track, are you also very tidy in your private life? No, I'm messy. I reserve order and discipline for motorsport.
What do you write in the notebooks you read during free practice?
Everything: my feelings on the car and the things I want to try on the track. I get lots of ideas so I write them down so I don't forget them. And I write them in pen so I'm sure I'll find them again, before I used an app on the tablet which often deleted it all.
You voiced a character in the Disney Pixar film, Lightyear: The True Story of Buzz . Do you feel like a superhero? No. I feel like a normal person, even if I do a sport, I don't call it work, very special which isn't for everyone. I'm just lucky.
In the film there is a kiss between two women that has already created controversy, does it surprise you? For me homosexuality is a completely normal thing, I have gay friends, I don't understand how today there are people who don't understand that love is for everyone. F1 must lend a hand to those who don't have such a powerful voice to express difficulties in everyday life.
What are you like in everyday life? I have a routine: diet, gym, rest. Discipline is the biggest change I've made. In a year like this I want to be at 110% for 22 races. Will we get to 24? I'll be even fitter.
They have given you many names: predestined, prince, which one do you recognize yourself in? They are all positive and make me very happy, but what I like most is what my father gave me, pins à roulettes when I started racing, I was 4-5 years old, I was all small and you could only see the big helmet.
You play the piano. If F1 were a musical genre, what would it be? A very strange mix between classical and rock and roll. I think it's an exercise in adaptation between aggressiveness in qualifying and gentleness in tire management in the race. Playing helps me, I did it as a child, my brother Arthur is very good, I I started again during the pandemic by taking back the piano that was from my mother.
Don't you sing? Sometimes in the shower. Out of tune? I don't know, I just wouldn't have the courage to do it in front of someone. Poor Seagull sung in Bahrain? A joke with some of the team. I prefer to invent on the piano, it's something I share with my girlfriend Charlotte who will become an architect in two months. Like me, she is very creative.
Is creativity also useful for being a pilot? You need speed, precision, concentration. And courage. Let's take Jedda: a very fast track, close walls. There you feel the risk you're taking but you have to go and not think about it, this is what I like about this sport. I know it's dangerous, but I like to play with limits.
Were you never afraid? No, never, even if looking back at the accidents I tell myself I was lucky.
What did you buy with your first paycheck? A 1969 Fiat 500, off-white, convertible. The side-by-side? I didn't have too much trouble driving it. Then I went to Indonesia in Bali with my best friends.
You love fashion, when will your first clothing line be launched? I would like to do it in the future, it is one of my passions, I believe that fashion is a means of expressing oneself without speaking. For now I am content with wearing things that I like. My mind is busy trying to win the Championship.
Have you already booked your summer holidays? In Sardinia with my friends on my Riva boat. Then in Ibiza with the family, but I remain focused: gym and equipment within reach.
Who will you cheer for at the World Cup in Qatar? Since there is no Monaco and Italy, France.
How do you see yourself at the end of the year? World champion and that's it.
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anamoon63 · 4 months ago
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RL and Sims update post + a thank you note
(Warning: long post ahead, read at your own risk).
I wrote this post to thank you guys for all the likes and comments you keep leaving on my posts, even though, as you may have noticed, I can't be here as often as I used to. Real life has taken over almost completely, as I think it should. There are too many things going on, with me, my family, my country, even my sims and other games, lol.
I'm not going to bore you with daily life problems, much less with sad and depressive stuff, or with previews of a story I don't know when/if I'll ever finish, the only thing I can tell you is that I'm still busy with a lot of work, (fortunately) and family stuff; plus, I (finally) started going to therapy (yes, at my age). So right now, I'm juggling even more things than I already was.
And so I wanted to thank you for sticking with me, for continuing to read the chaotic stories of my wacky characters without judging them; thank you as well for each and every message you have sent to my inbox, be it questions, or flowers and love; and to all of you who continue to tag me both on sims stuff and cute games, knowing that I most likely won't be able to answer you, really, thank you for continuing to think of me. Your messages soothe my heart in difficult moments, and I wish to answer them all, I just don't know when I will be able to do that, hopefully someday.
Now, my sims story. For those of you who might remotely still be interested, I'm currently revising the next few episodes of Time Traveler which I wrote earlier this year. To be honest, I don't know when they will be ready, I just know the story goes on and as soon as I have reviewed these episodes, I'll start taking the pictures. When will they be published? Frankly, I don't know. It could be early 2025, but no promises, as I don't have much free time on my hands now. I manage to write in the evenings, but in-game photo shoots are quite time consuming and have to be done in peace and privacy, of which I don't have much at the moment. So, if I do decide to publish these episodes, it will likely be early next year, and at a rather slow pace.
About my gameplay, in Sims 4 we will continue with the Wilsons until the end of the season (coming soon), and then we will take a small break. As for The Sims 3, we just finished Patrick's story in Bridgeport, so now we'll go back with The Cho Brothers. First, we'll take a brief trip to Lucky Palms with Terence and Cynthia Cho; then we'll spend a rather long time in Hidden Springs and Starlight Shores, to see what has happened with Tyron, the eldest of the Cho brothers. And last but not least, we'll go back to Uni with Dale and Kelly, who I hope will FINALLY graduate this year, hahaha.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I am not gone (yet), that if one day I decide to retire I will make a special post about it, I won't leave without saying goodbye, but that day seems far away at least for the moment. 
Now, regarding Inzoi…
I admit Inzoi has captured my interest. As usual, I'm late to the comment party, but I still want to put my two cents about this amazing game. Seeing the trailers and all those beautiful Inzois created by other simmers got me so excited, and at the same time, terribly frustrated to see that the demo didn't contain any gameplay. I need to actually play the game to give an opinion on it! So far it looks beautiful, though I must say that the character creator disappointed me because the sliders are Sims 4 style, which I've always found a bit complicated, I'll forever prefer the Sims 3 sliders, but hey, I had a lot of fun creating my own Inzois.
Hopefully the graphics and gameplay are as good as seen in the previews and its developers won't “break” it into multiple or turn the into a malfunctioning cash cow like EA did with The Sims 4, and to a certain extent, also with the Sims 3 in its time. I hope with Inzoi they'll go for a complete game, no matter if it's expensive, if I consider it is worth it, I'll give them my money as soon as it comes out.
That being said, it is important for me to clarify that I will not abandon The Sims 3 (or even Sims 4 though I don't play it much) for Inzoi. Ever. Neither do I plan to recreate my sims OCs/games in it, because my sims are exactly that, sims. If I ever get to play Inzoi it will be with entirely new characters, although I confess, I did try to reproduce two of my most beloved sims (a boy from the future and a college girl who is a model *wink*) and they turned out pretty well, but nowhere near as adorable as they look in The Sims 3. Plus, the environments in which those two OCs currently move could not be reproduced in Inzoi, at least as far as I know.
Okay, enough of Inzoi. In short: I'm not gone, I'm still here, I'm still reading all your stories, only at a much slower pace, two or 3 simblrs per day at the most. I'm going to read them all, just bear with me, and forgive me again if I don't always comment. Sometimes I don't even have the time or the energy for that. Believe me, 2024 has been an intense year in every possible way, sometimes I really need a break, but I try to be around and will always find a way to keep in touch, even if at times it seems like I'm nowhere to be found, I'll get back to you at some point.
That's all, thanks for reading this far! Have a nice and beautiful start of the week. 💗
P.S. I wrote this post three days ago, wish I had published it earlier, that way I probably wouldn't have gotten a notification that some Simblrs Community 'removed my membership'. When I clicked in said Simblrs Community icon, it said the community was 'private'. I don't know if that's some kind of automatic Tumblr thing, if there's a committee that decides about this, or if it was just a glitch in the matrix; whatever it was, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to be here to keep said membership. I didn't even know Simblr was a private membership. For what it's worth, it wasn't neglect or lack of interest for my part, just lack of time. I hope one day to be able to qualify again and be worthy of this membership. At any rate, I thank you for thinking of me and admitting me in your community in the first place.
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thatseventiesbitch · 6 months ago
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That '90s Show Part 2 Review
Overall, I'm giving Part 2 4.5 Stars out of 5!!!! I completely loved it, and thought it was an improvement from last season. I am now all the more excited for part 3, given what I know is still coming. 😜
If you're interested, here's my real-time reactions thread from Twitter (pinned to the top of my bio).
Stay tuned for my breakdown (warning: there be spoilers here):
The Good
The H U M O R continues to be the brightest spot for me. This is a genuinely funny show - I laughed out loud (okay, closer to howled if we're being honest) several times. It feels similar (though not identical) to T70S' brand of humor. I can tell it was made by the same people. This season, like last, Ozzie was my main man and had the one-liners that sent me the most but I can say the same for Jay, Gwen, Nate, and Leia too. And Bob. Oh hell, all of them! I'm sure I'll be reblogging my favorite moments for months to come while we wait for part 3!
The C H A R A C T E R D E V E L O P M E N T is the other shining star for me. The first season was limited (disappointing?) in this regard - to be fair, they only had 10 episodes to introduce us to a whole new handful of characters and make us care about them, and they mostly did. But this season brought the depth I was looking for - and we're only halfway through! 🤯 We learn more about Jay's playboy past, and see how he's actively working to grow and change and do his relationship with Leia differently. Ozzie is humanized when he has his heart broken - and his friends are there to pick up the pieces 💔. Nate struggles with his feelings and relationship with Nikki all season, and by the end of episode 8 he seems to be grappling with still having real feelings for her that he can't move on from. Nikki's pregnancy scare really affected her, and not in the way one would necessarily expect. She ended part 2 feeling lost and unsure of her direction, or what she truly wants (and not her parents), for the first time in her life. Gwen's storylines were perhaps my favorite of all (I'm a big Gwen stan, okay?). I was impressed that they decided to 'go there' with the racism plot, and even more impressed at the frank conversation she had at the end of the episode with her white (and well-intentioned, but bumbling) mom. Was it perfect and resolved? No. I think that was kind of the point. Not to mention her navigating her first real feelings and her relationship (?) with Cole. And Leia, my lovely Leia - she is learning about communication, forgiveness, honesty - all with the gentle guidance of her family and her friends. And that's not to mention Red and Kitty, who had sweet, plot-driving storylines of their own. I loved their realization that they like their rut - but loved even more when Red was inspired to live every day like it's his last and pushed through his fears to go to Paris with Kitty 🥰. This longer season has afforded more 'filler-like' episodes for us to just hang out with the characters, and get to know them more intimately. What are their wants, fears, insecurities, innermost thoughts? We are getting there. We are really getting there. Let's see what 8 more episodes will bring!
BOB! Bob gets his own point, because I enjoyed him so much (and seeing him and Red eventually come together to be overprotective grandpas 🤣. I laughed so much at his relationship with Leia, how they were just chilling in the basement, how he wanted all the teen gos. And Gwen's "What the heck, do you tell your grandpas everything?" 😂
DONNA! I adore Donna Pinciotti (Forman?), always have, and I adore her even more in the '90s than I thought possible. I love seeing her as a mom and her relationship with Leia. More pls.
This season felt more '90s to me! They incorporated more '90s references and brought back the regular fantasy sequences that always set the original apart. Off the top of my head, I loved: Kitty's Carmen Electra fantasy/nightmare (😂), Leia's Lisa Loeb fantasy (🤣), the Macarena (that shit was e v e r y w h e r e in the mid-90s, man), the Mentos commercial, Jay and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith cameo!!! also, Leo's son???) and all of Kitty's '90s slang that she picked up from the kids at school 😂👏🏻
The guest stars! Mitch and The Angel returned from T70S, and I am a big Will Forte/that era of SNL stan so I thoroughly enjoyed his appearance, too (and know he's been involved on the OG series on the writing/production side).
Red's trains (callback to season 1 of T70S - whoa!!) 🥰
I thought they struck a good balance this season between those heartfelt, 'very special episode'-type moments that '90s sitcoms were infamous for, without actually being too sickly-sweet, ala a Full House or Girl Meets World type moment. Donna and Leia's interaction in Nikki's bedroom regarding the voicemail comes to mind, as well as the is-Nikki-pregnant storyline and Nikki and Nate's celebratory dance at the end 🤣.
Which reminds me - I thought Nikki and Nate's storyline was intriguing. I have always been sort of a fan of their relationship - I don't think it's as bad as some others seem to - but remain unconvinced that they're 'meant to be' or endgame or whatever. But I enjoyed watching them navigate their break-up this season and then reluctantly find their ways back to each other, though. We'll see where it goes in part 3!
I immediately noted (and was pleased!) that there was a Laurie mention and a Midge mention this season. Both very off-hand, but it was something I was curious about. Who will be next? Betsy Kelso? 😮
The Bad
For me, ngl, Topher Grace's (Eric) absence was really felt. It is definitely the kids' show now and a substantial storyline isn't one I'd ever expect, but gosh I missed him from the family scenes at the beginning (both those with Red & Kitty, and those with Donna & Leia). The silver lining is how the other characters continue to reference him - almost in every episode, really - and so we still learn things about him and his relationships to his wife, daughter, and parents through these mentions from other characters. There will always be a part of me that is crossing my fingers for another Eric appearance, though, and I think there always will be.
Kitty's characterization as an overbearing mother was overdone. To be fair, this isn't a deviation from the original show. This is how she was often written towards the end of T70S - overbearing, possessive of Eric, lashing out at Donna or feeling in competition with her. It was done for laughs, but it wasn't particularly funny to me (and never was) 🤷‍♀️.
Not enough Geia content for my 'shipper heart 😩. We got one boob touch 😂, and it is clear that Leia still prioritizes her friendship with Gwen above all else (I lol'ed when she worried Gwen was in jail and that she would have to commit a crime to join her) but I want more, damn it! Part 2 solidified for me that Geia is never going to be anything more than a crack!ship. 😰
Which reminds me - Jay and Leia are kind of 'meh' for me. They're fine, I don't dislike them together, and I do like how we're seeing them both learn and grow through their relationship but... it just inspires kind of lukewarm feelings, I guess.
There wasn't a lot of Sherri in part 2. I love Sherri. Hope to see more of her in the next part.
The Ugly
I am pleased to say that I can't think of anything!!! Fez was absent (although they didn't directly reference their break-up, Sherri is clearly single and on the prowl all season) but I didn't miss him (🤭). Ditto to Kelso and Jackie - although we did get one reference to Jay's dad and the Kelso family heirloom (aka porn). I would say the ugliest part is that I now have to wait until October for part 3!!!
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technologyculturedneo · 1 year ago
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SOS: Poison In My Mind (Pt 1)
PLAYING NOW: Season 2 of SOS: AM I ALIVE
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“We met in the worst circumstance possible, but yet, even if we had to meet in different circumstances, I’d still fall for you.”
SUMMARY. A series of events following the aftermath of the break in/hostage situation has everyone feeling tense. The Zhong family is torn with disappoints, from Yezi deciding that she wants to keep the rape baby, to Dae leaving the family wanting something else from her life. With months and years treading by, the family is met again in uncanny situations with the same old boys who can’t seem to get away from them.
PAIRING(s). Delinquent!Mark, Felony!Haechan, Boyfriend!Jeno, Brother!Renjun; Policeman!Jaemin, Jisung; Husband!Chenle, Boyfriend!Jaehyun X OC Dae, Yezi (original character)
GENRE. Angst. Longshot. Slow burn. Crime. Strangers to lovers. Smut (non-consensual/consensual). Family.
WARNINGS. Drugs abuse (Alcohol, smoking, marijuana, cocaine, heroin). Sexual content (consensual, child abuse, pedophile). Slow burn (unlike the first book filled with edge and action, here’s a more toned down and summary filled action after the aftermath, lots of convo.)
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S2: EP1-7 The moment the judge hits the gavel, Dae unknowingly lets out a sigh of relief. Laying her head against her dad's shoulder, some tears pouring out of her eyes causing her to hiccup, sniff and fall into a breaking emotional state. Her dad, Chenle hugs her tightly. He feels such an overwhelming amount of pain. He doesn't even know what to say when he watches the police handcuff the boys and makes them line up against the opposite doors, preparing them for their new prison life.
Dae gets her head off his shoulder and with her eyes smudged in tears and nose running just as badly, her face red and voice barely above a whisper. "Dad, I can't breathe," She hiccups terribly struggling to say.
Chenle is attentive and assists her up as he navigates her outside of the Court room. With his arms around her shoulder, he walks with her steadily and his eyes peer around trying to find a specific door, which was right next to the court room. Entering into the room whereby his wife and Yezi are, his heart grows heavy upon seeing Yezi in a similar dreadful position crying her soul out.
Yezi upon seeing her dad gets up as well and runs into her dad's arms. Chenle holds tight, embracing them generously the same way when they cried that he and his ex-wife were splitting. His lips kiss the top of their precious heads just as his eyes shut by the overflow of tears bluring his vision. His daughters sadly crying only causes his heart more pain that as their father he couldn't protect them against the evil of the world. Chungdae, Chenle's wife gets up slowly and makes her way towards her family. She moves behind Chenle and back hugs him, her own tears building up.
Yezi and Dae stretch their arms in sync backwards to wrap around Chungdae. No matter how much she was reminded of being their step mum, no matter how much she fought with Yezi, no matter how much Dae was nice to her without actually allowing her to know her real feelings, and no matter how much Chenle tried to always make her feel a part of his family even though deep down she knew she had a long way to acceptance with the whole family, right now being here with them somehow feels like a new level of depth.
The fact that she cut her trip half way- once her plane landed and Chenle called her to tell her the details she booked the next flight back- and came to serve as support for the girls as well as her husband who continuously blamed himself. It's like she had unlocked a new sacred bound with each and every one of them- although it was because of a traumatic experience, she’s somehow happy to feel included in their suffering of the moment.
Chenle loved his kids, and as Chungdae loved his kids as her own only made him love her more. And right now, as Chenle has all the loves of his life around him- it only tears him down more. If only this was a much pleasant occasion instead of a horrifying one.
Meanwhile, in the courtroom similar feelings and emotions are being done. However, it's only directed at Renjun and his mum.
Renjun is an incoherent speechless dreadful mess as he’s plunged in tears. He wants to shout and cry out loud but he can't even express his overwhelming pain as his own physical state hurts him with every move he makes causing him so much discomfort. All he does is sink his head into his mother's shoulders and shudders as the tears furiously plunge out of his one good eye.
His mother with immense loving arms tightens her embrace- shielding him from the emotions of right now. Her scent sips into his nostrils and despite the ache, he appreciates this comfort which in all his life has always sought out for. The sincere and dear love of his mother. Her heart shreds due to how she failed to protect her son from the boy she gave birth to. Her eyes have sprinkles of water, and her head throbbing with the new forming headache from holding in a load amount of tears. From the moment she took in this lost little Chinese boy as her own son, for the first time in her dark miserable life she could say that she had hope. To see her hope of a son bearing his soul out for a crime he did not commit, stains her soul of feeling like a failure again. She failed with her first son. But right now, she didn’t want it to be the case of her second son. And so she holds in her voice of agony, of pain and whispers with strength. "You're going to be alright okay? I'm not mad at you. You did what was right and I swear it’ll all pay back some day. It looks dark now, but I promise you Renji that…everything will work out.” Her eyes let out some tears before she sniffs. “I promise that I’ll be waiting for you when you come out. Don't be scared my boy, be brave in there. Don’t let them break you. You are my hope and I know this world doesn’t deserve you, but come back to me in one piece okay? I love you so much Renji, so so much you have no idea. Just stay strong for me okay?"
“Okay,” Renjun hiccups out trying to hold it in but the devastation is too much to bear.
Standing in line behind Mark, Donghyuck watches vulnerably.
It pains and even hurts to see his mum in tears and wrapping all her love upon Renjun. Even when the guards break them apart and Renjun gets back in line behind him, he prepares himself for the hug that he knows his mum always gives. He's expecting for his mum's love and attention, even though she might be angry at him, Donghyuck knows that she always gave the best hugs of comfort.
But when she looks at him…
Donghyuck is only able to make out the look of humiliation. Disappointment. And so much sadness as though she’s failed with him. In her eyes that were so full of adoration and affection for Renjun, he gets her capital look of sadness as she covers her mouth and closes her eyes filled with tears and turns away.
Donghyuck sucks in a sharp breath, his glossy eyes stinging from how much tears he's holding back. He gets pushed out of the court room by the police and he follows them to a waiting room. Upon waiting they get taken in for their final prints. Still with cuffs around his wrists, he’s aggressively assisted in getting his finger prints inked and pressed on paper. He does his signature, gets a court mug shot and then initially given a see through plastic bag of a blue standard prison uniform. Mark gets the same color.
Yet, upon seeing Renjun walk out of the prints room with a bag of orange prison clothes… he can't hold in his tears. Renjun sits on the other side of the hallway but still in front of Donghyuck, when he sees that his older brother’s shoulders are sagged so low and he hears sounds of anguish, sounds of agony, does his heart remind him of how much he’s put up with Donghyuck. All he wanted was to be his brother’s friend and getting to know his brother. Unfortunately, trying to get to know his brother would mean becoming him and that’s not something Renjun ever wants again. And so, also silently he weeps again out of his one good eye.
Meanwhile Jeno and Mark have such emotionless looks towards one another. Unlike the other bags, Jeno’s see through bag had a green prison uniform. Mark is so distorted to reality and unfazed with his brother that when Jeno gets ushered out by a new guard he finds himself speaking. “Good luck bro,”
Jeno, in his own unfazed and worn-out actuality mummers. “You too.”
In honesty, for Jeno everything was one big blur. The fact that it was night and he was in the car with his brother, to somehow him waking up in a hospital 3 weeks later with minor burn patches just chaotically threw him off everything he knew as reality. And then he hears that he’s being charged with breaking and entering into a wealthy mansion. It’s the most absurd nightmare he’s ever woken up from- everything was one big drunken blur of memories popping up here and there, but he has no recollection of actually living in those memories. To say he was beyond confused was an understatement. He was just numb yet puzzled that all this happened. All he remembers is being drunk and waking up in a hospital bed weeks later.
The one thing he can remember lividly, was when he entered into the girl that he has admired, when he entered her room and saw his brother forcing her to mouth fuck his crotch- that felt like something he would never ever be able to forget. That is a spare moment that he can’t get out his head. So walking into a prison statement with the least amount of knowledge of why he’s being sentenced, Jeno sucks it up and follows.
Donghyuck can’t stop stifling his cry at this point. Even if his voice is low, Renjun and Mark can hear it. Although it’s awkward for Mark, for Renjun it’s a painful and pitiful reality that shit hits hard. Donghyuck’s eyes are shut, as painful reminders of how he not only disappointed his mother and brother, but he also proved Yezi’s words to be true. The words of her telling him how worthless he is. Because truly, he feels like a worthless, filthy, cheap, vain, unlucky, useless, pathetic, miserable and pain for his whole family.
Donghyuck is in tears and can't even say anything when they take Renjun away to his respective bus leading to the county jail center. Renjun can't even say anything when seeing Donghyuck's head hung so low as his shoulders shake and light sounds of grief in emotions are heard from him. In fact, in this moment where he looks at his brother…there’s a slight mounting anger of how he should’ve never tried so hard to get his approval in anything. Donghyuck never ever cared about him. And as he leaves the court and gets into his bus, a slowly fueling hatred grows in him.
It’s only left Donghyuck and Mark in the corridor as they wait for the arrival of their bus that would probably be filled with returning criminals going back to the same prison. At this point, Donghyuck knew the cycle all too well.
He knew that there would be new second time offenders, old gang cliques who committed hard crimes, gang members who’re coming in to deliver a message to one of their old boys in prison, crime offenders who somehow always get away with petty charges instead of life sentences and lastly the guys who had nowhere else to go but prison…and so committing a petty crime to be charged at least 5 years would satisfy their life- these were the people that Donghyuck knew were going to be with him. Donghyuck knew of the type of people he’d see again, and how ecstatic they’d be to see him. Prison life was his home. The only home that welcomed him with open arms every time, with ‘friends’, people who protected him, the officers who alarmingly treated him ‘well’ and the all-time shelter and food that was provided to him each and every day.
If anything, he should’ve been happy to be going back to a place of ‘rest’, but there’s a weight on his chest that’s anchoring him down, there’s a heavy burden on his shoulders that’s sinking him. The fact that it’s not a thought but it’s now his reality. He always joked that one of these days he’d come back as a rapist, but now the dawning weight of his reality sets him in such a dark hole. He has added onto his record something that once hurt his mother. He has added onto his record a pain that’s deep and unfathomable, something that would define him as an ‘experienced criminal’. Donghyuck shudders and blurts out another cry as he sinks his head in between his hands. His own mother couldn’t even stand to look at him. Donghyuck feels so shut out right now. Enraged at himself for being such a fuck up. He can’t believe that he crossed over to a side he’d never thought himself of crossing.
When he feels the harsh hand of the guard, he knows that this time as he’s going to prison it won’t be the usual years of rest, but instead a commencement time of guilt and punishment. He deserved punishment for all that he’s put his family through. For all that he’s put everyone that he has hurt through.
He sucks up his tears but keeps his head down with his jaws locked. Unlike getting in the bus and always going to the back and greeting the old timers who joyously call unto his name- he takes the front seat close to the window. Mark, not obliged to follow, feels in him that his partner in crime isn’t himself and so he takes a seat next to him after acknowledging some of the returning inmates. Mark seated beside Donghyuck feels uncomfortable but can only endure it. Donghyuck has his head against the window his head pining on him. It doesn't sit right with Mark and all he can do is lay his hand upon the ladders shoulder. He had no words because he didn’t understand why he was moping.
Donghyuck can't take his eyes off his mum as she stands outside waving her hand towards Renjun's bus. She's crying, holding onto some tissue papers and looking defeated. Donghyuck's eyes sting when he sees her crouching down still in tears.
She used to look at him like that. She'd cry for him like that. But now she can't even stand to look at him.
As the bus begins moving out the court parking, Donghyuck’s eyes unconsciously catches onto the news crews and reports all withering and surrounding the court as they try to get to the ‘Zhong’ family. His eyes don’t mean to, but they go to the girls who are rushed into such a high class, superior and posh maroon looking car.
It all started with a car, an envious yet spiteful car that seemed in hands reach and just for him. A car that was a whole Pandora’s box. If only Donghyuck could go back in time, to the time that stupid spoilt car carrying those fucking high social brats passed his own rusty faded red car, if only he could go back and peal his eyes off that car and to his brother who only wanted to go home. He would’ve never lusted over the car if he knew what he knew. He would turn to his brother and agree to just take him home- far away from the lives of the rich people. Far away from the life of chaos. And far away from the life he was living.
After a decent and mouth sovereign dinner in a luxurious five-star restaurant, Chenle and his family quietly went back to their respective rental guarded home whereby their new life would begin.
Sitting around the living room, Chenle explains that the insurance company that insured their house will finish in about a month's time. But he wanted to know whether or not they felt safe moving back into that neighborhood or wanted a new place.
It's basically nonnegotiable for them all as they all want a change of scenery. Ever since the incident, the Zhong family were the communities most talked about family for (not only) the outrageous verdicts that the boys got, but also for how 4 lowlifes managed to break into such a secured residential area and well-guarded home. Few of the neighboring families moved out immediately, while others were already preparing to move out, most enhanced their security, so it only made sense that the people in the area didn't feel safe and were contemplating on leaving or staying.
"Another thing we need to address," Chungdae starts, laying her hand on Chenle’s knee, sensing his hesitancy. "Yezi,"
"Yes?" Yezi nervously squeezes Dae’s hand having an idea of what the conversation would be about.
Chungdae silently sighs looking at Chenle before focusing her attention on her step daughter, who had sadly and traumatically become pregnant but had said nothing ever since the confirmation at the hospital. "It's been a month and some days since you've been pregnant-"
"I know." She counts the days every day. "Can we not talk about-"
"And every time we bring it up you try to turn it down. Chungdae has got some pills you can take now to neutralize the thing moving in your stomach. Tomorrow is Wednesday and we’re taking you to the hospital to get it removed." This time Chenle speaks, his voice not too welcoming as if he has an idea of what his 16-year-old daughter is thinking. "If you're thinking about keeping it you can forget it."
Yezi's head strikes up at her dad with wide saddened eyes. She sits on the edge of her seat with prompt and firm lips. But the thing that speaks most to Chenle is the look of fortitude, of resilience of some sort of willpower. "Dad-"
"Absolutely not.” Chenle springs back in distaste of high disgust. “Not in my house. You are not-”
“Dad you didn’t even give me a chance to speak-”
“Speak about what?” Chenle’s got his eyes bulging out of his socket. “This is not a discussion we’re having. You’re going to remove-”
“No!” Yezi suddenly cries back and gulps back holding in her tears.
“You can't tell me you've been seriously thinking of keeping that damned thing-"
"Dad-"
“Yezi that’s enough!” Chenle never yells, but when he does it catches everyone off guard. “Have you gone stupid?”
“Honey-”
“No have you gone mad? Retarded maybe? Yezi this is not up for discussion. You will not have that thing grow in you!”
“Why? It’s my-”
“Have you fucking gone retarded-”
“Dad this is my child!” It takes Chungdae holding Chenle back by his arm when he shoots up from the couch, while Dae holds tightly onto Yezi’s hand when Yezi bursts out in franticness. The tears now streaming out. “I’m not going to remove it. It’s mine.”
“Yezi,” Chenle and Chungdae both call out in a morphed sadness filled with disappointment.
"Yezi," Dae calls in bafflement. Ever since the accident, they hadn’t left each other’s side. Their bound had never ever been like this before, whereby they hardly spoke to each other yet felt distant in their experiences- but at the same time they wanted to protect each other, they wanted to love each other more than ever. But not even Dae could understand the sudden twist and burst of emotions from her little sister. "You want to keep it?" Dae asks quietly.
With the question hanging in the air and all ears attentive to Yezi, while their brains are in astonishment of the seemingly new revelation, Yezi presses her hands to her stomach and nods her head slowly. There's a long pause in the air causing Yezi's heart to beat rapidly and she's afraid to look up. She already knows what her dad will say, what Chungdae will say, what Dae will say, but she doesn't care. “I want to keep it, I need to keep it.”
There’s such a strong tensed silence that moves around the room. Chenle’s chest is mounting with such boiling anger when looking at his daughter.
“Why?” Chungdae asks in confusion, distress and fear especially when feeling her husband’s hand bulging. “Yezi-”
“No.” Chenle's ‘no’ serves as a mind snapping effect for Yezi.
She looks up to her dad with tears in her eyes, her jaw trembling. “Dad.”
“No.” Chenle is firm when saying his final verdict. It doesn't matter that Yezi full of sadness attempts to speak- Chenle doesn’t want it. "No. You are not keeping it. No daughter of mine will-"
"But dad-"
"I said no Yezi." Chenle shakes his head again trying to calm himself down. "You're not keeping it. You're not keeping that bastard of a child. You are going to take the pills now and tomorrow-"
"Dad I'll never forgive myself for killing it-"
"Forgive yourself? You're not at fault here." Chungdae adds with confusion seeing that Yezi shakes her head and seems determined. "And it's not alive yet, you're not killing it. You're removing it."
"Mum please." Yezi sits on the edge of her seat looking desperate. “I can’t do it. I can’t go on with allowing this little thing in me to die. I don’t have the heart to go through with the abortion. I would never forgive myself-”
“For fuck- Yezi!” Chenle can’t believe what he’s hearing. From the corner of the room, the little Daegal is quivering and shivering by the uproar of Chenle’s voice. “No-”
“Dad you’re not carrying this so you don’t understand.” Yezi finds herself breaking free from Dae’s hand and standing up with her arms covering her womb. “You don’t understand how long it took me to get to this point. I’ve thought about it ever since I found out. I will keep the baby. Not because I am excited to have it, but because I don’t want to kill it. I cannot square it with my conscious. It's also a living being and has a right to life, and I shouldn't decide whether it gets to live or not. I don’t have that right and it’s heartless and inhumane even thinking about taking away-"
As Yezi hits nerve after nerve Chenle is so close – a pinch away from forcing his daughter to have no choice, the words that she’s saying only make his blood boil. Her words render Chungdae silent as her thoughts are suddenly on her past mistakes. Not only Chungdae, but Dae as well knows that whether it was intentional or not Yezi was hitting on and referring to the reason her parents split and that was because of Chungdae and her ‘babies’.
“Do you know what pain I’m feeling at just the thought of giving it up-”
Dae can feel the tension slowly rising in the room, and if Yezi didn’t choose her words correctly then most assuredly she would be in big trouble. “Yezi-”
But Yezi’s already so hot with her words and can’t back down as she speaks over Dae shaking her head. “What if I’ll never get a chance like this again? Huh? Living with you and Chungdae is proof that after so many abortions- I won't ever get a chance like this”
Chungdae feeling jabbed shakes her head. “That’s not- Sweety please let’s not-”
“You can't even give birth anymore because of all those abortions you’ve had while having an affair with my dad behind my mum’s back. You both took the right away and now you want me to make that same fucked up decision as-”
She’s not expecting the rough hand of her dad gripping onto her wrist and dragging her with such force and strength. “Honey please-” Chungdae has to suck up her pride and wipe her eyes when trying to follow Chenle.
“Where are those pills?”
“Honey please let’s just sit and talk-”
“No.”
"No?" Chungdae follows rapidly behind Chenle who busts opens into different drawers around their room while Yezi yells for her dad to let her go. “Honey please, she’s crying and-”
“Where are the pills?!”
Chungdae is taken aback at Chenle shouting when directing his attention to her.
“This is my daughter! There’s no way in hell will I ever allow her to even consider keeping that thing in her womb! It’s not hers and we’re not raising that thing!” Chenle’s jaw locks when his eyes take notice of the sullen look plastered over her features.
“That ‘thing’ was in my womb too, and I…” The look of guilt coats Chungdae’s face, dampening his mood when seeing how teary and weary eyed she gets. At this point it’s by instinct how he always tries to wipe the tears off her eyes before they fall off. Letting go of Yezi instantly just so he can attend to Chungdae only leaves Chungdae in a remorseful crying mess as she covers her face with shame. “If I hadn’t had all those abortions then maybe we would’ve been… I would’ve been able to give you the child you wanted-It’s all my fault, I’m sorry honey-”
“No, no.” Chenle’s voice simmers down into a low tenderly octave when hearing how broken and crushed his wife’s cry is. He walks carefully towards her, his hands holding onto her shoulders looking just as vulnerable. “It wasn’t your fault. Don’t do that baby, don’t,” Straightaway he wraps his arms around her securing her from the emotions that have resurfaced. “Baby… we made that decision t-together. It’s not your fault.. You didn’t…I don’t blame you at all my love. Please, don’t cry,”
“Yezi’s right-” Chungdae whimpers, not being able to stop the tears as well as remove her hands from her blotched crying face.
“She’s not right, don’t listen to her. She will not disrespect you like that and-”
Chungdae shakes her head, knowing exactly what Yezi meant. Chenle would never understand what it’s like to live with that conscious memory of having done an abortion, only for it to affect everything years later. He would never get it because he refused to come to terms with the fact that she took away the one thing he was really excited about, and that was to have kids with her.
The first few times when they found out she was pregnant was in their mutual decision to remove baby after baby in hopes of Chenle’s former wife not to find out, but after the cat got out the bag and Chenle came clean to his wife of his affair did Chungdae unintentionally decide to remove the baby thinking that this would’ve been the last time she’d see him ever again. Little did she know that it would’ve been the last time she’d ever be able to conceive again.
Her tears are all over the place, loud enough for Dae to even hear. Upon seeing Yezi frantically walk towards the door- Dae stops her. “That was a low blow Yezi. Did you really have to?”
“But it’s true.”
“Just because it’s true it doesn’t give you the right to just bring stuff like that up. You know Chungdae is sensitive to -”
“She’s sensitive because she fucked up-”
“You think you’re not being a fuck up right now?” Dae yanks Yezi by her arm when she opens up the main door. Forcing Yezi to look at her they both look at each other intensely. “Look, I probably don’t have much of a say in you and wanting to keep it but don’t drag mum down-”
“You keep forgetting she’s not my mum,” Yezi rips her arm away from Dae. “And plus. I already spoke to mum- our real mum. She said I can keep it.”
Dae has a puzzled almost annoyed face. “You’ve been talking to her? Yezi do you even know-”
“Just because she used dad, and you didn’t get along with her doesn’t mean she’s not my mum anymore. She’s still a mother to me, I love her more than I ever did you and dad, she’s still my mum and she gave me enough clarity to decide for myself.” Yezi doesn’t look hurt, but her eyes do look somber upon talking about her mother.
Dae can only try to breathe in as she finds the right words to say despite her anger slowly rising. “You’re forgetting that she’s the one who cheated first and asked for that divorce not dad. She’s the one who left us for her new free life. She didn’t take us with her because she didn’t want us- so what could she possibly tell you about child birth that would make you consider even keeping that thing? The mother that I know would’ve never even allowed you to keep a rapist’s child.”
“It’s not a rapist’s child, it’s my child. And do me a favor, stop pretending like I'm the fuck up. I know that Mark did something to you too.” And with that Yezi opens up the front door and bangs it. She has no real destination when leaving the house- all she knows is that she needed to clear her head. It’s past 10pm and she doesn’t even-
“Going somewhere?”
She stops, being startled for a second. Standing by a black vehicle, she spots the Officer Na Jaemin. “Officer Na,” Her gaze being fazed by his presence. “What’re you doing here?”
Jaemin simply stares at the girl. “Patrol work. Your father wanted tight security while being here in the rental house.”
“Tight security by yourself?”
Jaemin shifts his weight a little displaying the black tinted window of the car. He knocks twice on it, causing the window to roll down displaying a shy smiling Officer Jisung. “Yes?”
“Jisung and I are here, there’s two at the back, two on each side, and two at the gates. We’re tight if the time calls for it.” Jaemin points out. “Once again, are you going somewhere? If so we’ll escort you.”
Yezi shakes her head. “No, it’s fine.” Being pissed by the sudden securing of protection she walks back the path to the house but stops midway with a nonstop chaotic mind and walks back towards the Officers. Jisung’s window is rolled back up while Jaemin has his head down within his padded jacket. He blends in so well with the car being black and everything he has on being black- including his hair.
“Officer,”
He peeks up again, and Yezi can see that under his eyes there’s faint marks. He looks tired. “What.” He doesn’t seem the least bit interested in what she has to say, all that he wants to do is sleep.
Yezi however pants in and out looking like a fish caught in water. “I… I want to keep it. I want to keep the baby that’s growing in me.” Yezi’s eyes water. “But I don’t want anyone to hate me for it.”
Jaemin can stare as his ears adjust to the words coming out of her mouth. “You… Did you just say you want to keep it?” How old is she? It’s probably the reason she’s even outside, maybe she wanted a clear head to think better. And if so, Jaemin had to stop her because he was the wrong person for this type of conversation. “Should I call your dad?”
“No-” Yezi shakes her head before hanging it down with trembling lips.
“Look, I’m only 23. I’m a male. And I’m not a part of your family, so you can’t just tell me all these things,” There’s nothing that he could say that would be of any assistance to this girl who’s 16…7 years younger than him. However, when she doesn’t move and her shoulders shudder, he grows uncomfortable in his padded jacket and inwardly cusses. He was always the worst when it came to giving some sort of relief. He turns his head to the car just in time seeing Jisung look away.
After a long silence, it takes Yezi blurting out a little cry does Jaemin breathe out his nose and licks his lips looking at her. Yezi tries to contain herself by remaining silent and sniffs back her tears (which made Jaemin feel tight in place) while wiping the back of her sleeve over her eyes. She doesn’t look up, but her body turns around and she begins walking away. It only takes a few steps before Jaemin’s voice comes out. “I can listen.” He speaks out. “If you want to… talk,”
If she came outside, it’s because she most likely had an argument with her family. And the last place she probably wants to go is inside.
That makes her stop in her tracks, and ever so slowly she peers up into Jaemin’s eyes. He looks nervous and almost worried. Nervous to the point that he even stands straighter and gets his hands out his padded jacket. “I don’t think I’ll be of any use,” He shrugs his shoulders scratching the back of his head. “But, I can listen,”
Yezi turns her body around in a slow manner, her eyes are slightly teary but upon gazing into his sincere eyes does she fully turn her body around to face him.
“So,” Jaemin clears his throat uneasily. “You want… to keep it?”
“Yeah,” Her voice is low and shaky. “We were in the hospital with my mum and dad, and they did an ultrasound.” A gloomy look gets on her crestfallen face, but Jaemin’s eyes are on the watery glaze that coat her eyes making them crystal clear as if they’re twinkling. “On that screen I saw… this tiny little dot. This little pea in me is so small… when looking at it, I felt something come alive in me again. I remembered thinking that, I couldn’t protect myself, you know.” She sniffs and her hands gently cup her abdomen. “I fought and I really tried to stop him from touching me. I fought so hard and I tried. I tried but… there was nothing I could do. So looking at the screen, seeing that there was something moving in me, that this tiny ball was moving around as if it already had life… I knew that even if I couldn’t protect myself, I could protect that baby, because it’s my baby. It’s coming from inside of me, this little pea will somehow become something, will somehow bare it’s own life.”
Jaemin blinks slowly no expression on his face except an honest concern for the girl. “You want to keep the very thing that’s come from something so painful?”
“I don’t even like kids that much, but I don’t want to remove this baby in me. This doesn’t feel like the trauma of rape…but this is me protecting this baby,”
“Protecting it from what?” Jaemin whispers. “What’s your reason for keeping it?”
“It’s the fact that it’s a life-”
“It’s not a life,” Jaemin lowly inputs making Yezi shake her head.
“It’s in me Officer Na, I can feel that there’s something in me.” She breaths out. “Just because it’s a product from something so painful… doesn’t give me any right to take away something as precious as life from it, that’s not even born. I… Do I really need a reason in order for me to keep it? Why do I need a reason that will be good enough for anyone to listen? This…” Yezi’s eyes flattering with tears make Jaemin alert in getting his back off the car and stepping forward to the girl. “What would make me any different from a person sitting in a prison cell because they murdered another person? Murdered another human being?”
“That doesn’t count,”
“The only difference is that taking an unborn baby’s life away is somehow legal. That’s not fair.- other people can get rid of it if they want, but why is it wrong for me to want to keep it?”
“Hey,” Jaemin’s hesitant and alert when the tears won’t stop falling from her eyes. He carefully lays his hand on her shoulder and clears his throat. “Hey, don’t cry about it.”
“I just wanted some air, I just wanted a break. I don’t want my dad to take this little baby away from me,” Her tears don’t stop pouring out, resulting in Jaemin hesitantly stepping forward and wrapping his arms around the girl. He sighs quietly when she takes another step forward and wraps her arms around his torso crying out.
“It’s okay, just cry it out,” Jaemin finds himself soothing and consoling her. “Hopefully everything will be okay,” He mummers out.
But 3 months later…prior to what Jaemin said, everything was not okay. In fact, things kept falling apart.
The only thing that’s been uplifting or of any sort of good news, is the media outlets dying down and Yezi being able to continue her homeschooling with Doyoung without getting bombarded by some news crew. Another good thing that Yezi kept looking forward to is surprisingly her new ‘friendship’ with the Officer Na Jaemin. At this point, with her sister turning into somebody else, and Chungdae becoming more motherly towards her, the only person she would truly and freely chat to about everything falling apart and a way to clear her mind was Jaemin. For the most parts he only listened and barely looked like her cared, but Yezi knew better because he’d always be ready to listen to her, and Yezi found it caring that aside from getting Boba coffees for himself and Jisung, he’d also get for her as well (and sneak in some of her pregnancy cravings that Chungdae wouldn’t approve of).
But right now, it’s 5pm in the afternoon and already she can hear the back and forth arguments from her dad and Dae.
Lately, it’s become a habit of her dad and older sister fighting back and forth. Dae found refuge in going clubbing with her friends, getting wasted, getting drunk and coming back home dumb out of her mind, out of her senses... maybe it was her way of dealing with the terrible situation she faced. Dae, under the overwhelming pressure of everything; dropping out of college, being forced to work with her dad, to getting intense nightmares about being sexually assaulted that night by Mark, to getting pressured from her friends to let loose and party with them- to Dae ultimately deciding that her life is nothing but one big joke.
Slowly, right before their eyes, Dae was becoming an addict to a lifestyle that was highly frowned upon in their family. The once head strong girl of the family was crumbling and numbing her senses to intoxicating alcohol….and worst of all drugs.
And so the days go by, with Chungdae and Yezi growing their bond through their mutual love and interest for the coming baby. Going to the hospital together, seeing the ultrasound in high-frequency and hearing sound waves of the baby’s heartbeat create in Yezi a desire to keep pushing despite the pain she feels in her heart of her family falling apart. The house felt so lonely, and reminds Yezi of the first few days of how it was like when their mum left them. The house was void without a motherly touch until Chungdae came around. And up till now, Yezi without a doubt aspires to be the light that Chungdae is, smiling despite the pain and remaining strong for everyone.
Chungdae comforts Chenle whenever he lays in bed with her, she comforts Yezi in all times whenever Yezi calls, and she tries so desperately to be there for Dae- who has completely shut down. It’s hard to believe that Dae is her sister, she’s become unrecognizable in the family. It doesn’t help that slowly she started looking like a stranger, skinny form from all the intake of cocaine and alcohol, shaved eyebrows, dyed bleach blonde hair, cutting her hair so short, piercings and a slow growing tattoo kink all over her arms.
6 months later, still with their new house being built and them still living in the rental house Yezi thought their situation would’ve calmed down. However, it just got worse.
“And she keeps sleeping with random guys in the house. I feel bad that I can’t do anything to even help her out,” Yezi mutters while eating on a secret pack of chocolate balls that Jaemin bought. Jaemin, leaning against the car while watching Yezi (who is seated on the hood of his car) and dipping his fingers in the pack of chocolate balls while listening to her.
“Do you still speak to her?”
“It’s hard to,” Yezi responds. “She’s barely in the house, and when she’s in the house she’s occupied with some boy locked up in the room- but it’s only for a moment before mum or dad barge in and she storms out,”
“Damn,” Jaemin mutters. “Your parents must be the most stressed people in that house right now.” Jaemin acknowledges.
Despite not being on duty of being on night patrol, he’d always come for his weekly chats with Yezi. In some way, he ordained himself as her therapist. Maybe it’s because he wanted to simply be of help to the girl, but in some distorted way…he enjoyed having a ‘friend’ in Yezi. It was odd calling their late night talks as some sort of stress relieve, but Jaemin felt that there was no other way to describe his new found friendship with her. He didn’t have any friends aside from Jisung, but yet when it came to Yezi he found it easy to be around her and just not try to force anything. All he had to do was listen, and she’d do the rest. It became interesting when she’d do the same for him and allow herself to listen to all he had to say.
“Speaking of which, any progress with your dad?” Jaemin asks.
“It’s been months since I last spoke to him. It feels even awkward being in the same space as him. Even if there is an issue between us, I still believe that as a healthy parent he’ll discuss the problem openly with me. Silence is not a solution, but it somehow sums up my relationship with him now.” Yezi mutters and shrugs her shoulders. “He doesn’t even look at me,”
“I’m sorry about that,” Jaemin says sincerely.
“Mum says I should just give him time, that he’ll come around. But I doubt it. Whereby I would talk to him day and night, all we do now is say good morning and good night, at times we go a full day without even greeting each other.” Yezi sighs and puts her hand on her stomach, which was a healthy looking bump after 6 months. “I’m just afraid that the day I give birth to my child, my dad will- oh my god.” Yezi’s eyes grow in brightness her hand quickly pressing and feeling onto her stomach. “Officer Na-”
Jaemin is alarmed and panicked by the smile on her face. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Feel it,” Yezi’s mouth is left agape as the wondrous joy surrounds her. Jaemin doesn’t even need to put his hand on her belly to know that it’s kicking. The way her stomach flamboyantly moves creates a smile to grow on his face. “Feel it,” Yezi urges as her mouth grows wider in joy. “Oh my god, look,”
Jaemin is hesitant when lifting his hand since he sees that even the layer of the shirt is moving up and down from the bumps on her stomach. She’s not even focused on him, but Jaemin’s smile is radiant when seeing how happy she is. The only times he’s seen her happy was whenever they’d talk about the baby- and seeing how her face lights up makes him drawn to her smile.
“Look, look, look,” She presses her shirt down so that her bump is revealed more and so that Jaemin can see how flamboyantly the belly bulges are- the baby kicking or punching and being free with the belly of it’s soon to be mother.
“Wow,” Jaemin chuckles. “That’s a boy right?”
“I don’t know yet,” Yezi smiles and looks up to Jaemin. “Feel it,”
Jaemin lifts his hand up to her stomach and wonders where he should put it on, but then Yezi points to a spot and Jaemin gently lays his hand down. He doesn’t press or remove his hand when in a flash where his hand is that’s where he feels several bulges popping out- beating him. “My fucking soul- Doesn’t that hurt?” Jaemin is startled in shock but laughs nervously when Yezi starts laughing.
Chenle, from his room on the second floor carefully looks out the window when hearing his child laugh. He felt the most pain in him for neglecting his children. Lately, he’s fallen on his path of drinking more wine than he should. He couldn’t help it. He had two daughters who were out of his reach now, and there was nothing he could do to bring them back to him. And just like now, he can only stand and watch from afar how one laughs, while the other is nowhere to be seen but is for sure having a good time.
“Hey,” Chenle doesn’t shift his eyes off of Yezi’s smile. Even when Chungdae wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head on his shoulder. “You know it’s not too late to reconcile with her,”
Chenle sighs and closes his eyes and leans on the window frame as he lifts his arm around Chungdae’s shoulders. “I don’t think she’d want to reconcile with me,”
“What are you talking about honey, you know she’d love to talk to you,” Chungdae whispers while looking up to Chenle. “It’s all she ever talks about. About if you’ll ever forgive her,”
Despite Chenle respecting Yezi’s decision by not interfering in a forceful manner, he believed that silence between them is the only way.
“You know if she was somehow pregnant with someone she knows and wanted to keep the child at this age, I wouldn’t be as hard, but this… It’s an omen. A bastard’s child.” Chenle whispers only for Chungdae to lay her head on his shoulder.
“I know, but a child isn’t an omen,”
Chenle shakes its’ head. “Forget what the media is saying, that bastard child will grow up and will look just like the person who raped her. How do you think the child will feel knowing it’s a product of rape?”
“How do you think the child will feel in a house that’s unwelcoming?”
“It doesn’t belong here,” Chenle whispers. “It’s difficult to wrap my head around her wanting to give birth to that damned child.” He mutters and opens his eyes looking outside again. When he hears another loud laugh from her and the Officer Na rapidly removing his hands and flapping them, a meek smile grows on Chenle’s lips as he whispers. “When she was still in the womb, she’d kick like crazy. It terrified the shit out of me,”
“She needs you the most right now honey,” Chungdae whispers back before turning her gaze outside.
“And I need my daughter back too, but it’s clear she’s not coming back,” Chenle mummers. “That girl right there is going to be a mother to a bastard child, and I don’t think I want to be a part of that life.”
And so it is. The 9th month mark hitting on the calendar alerting Yezi to being ready for any day that her surprise child would come out. She’s saddened that both her dad and Dae are nowhere near her during those days. The new year passes and days progress with Yezi, barely being able to walk with her stomach on full display of the big pregnancy she has. While being small- despite the little weight she gained, she still looked so young and to think she’d bring in life to the world encouraged her to carry on.
February comes along with Yezi getting nervous that she’s not going into labor even when the month is close to ending. Already being worried and terrified, even when sitting on top of Jaemin’s car and expressing her worry- she’s not expectant at all when feeling wet and water dripping from her uterus. “Jaemin?” She nervously calls while having her eyes wide open.
“What? What’s wrong? Yezi, calm down,” Jaemin doesn’t know what’s going on when her face is drained of blood, but when she struggles to get off the car and holds unto the bottom of her stomach- looking shitless scared Jaemin takes a wild guess to know; “Don’t tell me it’s time now? Is it time?”
Yezi can’t speak or produce coherent words when she squeezes her legs together and bends trying to hold under her belly trying to maintain the weight that feels like it’s going to fall out. “Mum! Jaemin call mum! Mum! Oh mu god! Oh my god! Mum it’s coming out!” She implores when the pain kicks in her stomach.
With Chenle not being in the house and Chungdae not knowing how to drive, is panicked when hearing Yezi crying out for her life. Jaemin thankfully is alert and eager to assist when taking both Chungdae and Yezi in his car driving them. Yezi is on the verge- panting and moaning in pain in sweats and looks like any time soon she’ll faint. Chungdae is panicked and in heats of trying to calm down while also telling Yezi to breath and relax. Thankfully even despite the roads being hectic, Jaemin uses his siren and police advantage to cut the stop signs and traffic lights trying to get as fast as he can to any hospital nearby as the one they retained to was too far. It’s close, with Yezi almost collapsing in the backseat does Jaemin eventually get to a hospital carrying Yezi and lunging to the doors.
Triumphantly, the nurses don’t give them any problems and instantly assist when seeing the blood staining her pants and Yezi crying out for her dear life. Chungdae is inside the hospital room with Yezi, while Jaemin is outside reminiscing on such an experience. He’s never felt as heavy weighted as he did and hearing as well as seeing Yezi succumb to pain terrified him.
Jaemin is awakened by a jolly nurse who comes out with all smiles. “It’s a girl.”
Yezi, at 1 a.m. on a Sunday morning of late February, almost having driven herself to the brink of death when assertively pushing out of her tiny body- weighing 5 pounds and 8 ounces (2,500 grams) a beautiful miniature and petite baby girl.
Yezi is in heaps of sweat, her legs shaking in pain and uterus throbbing yet a gleeful and prideful smile lights up her entire face even when she cries after holding onto the little baby girl in her arms. She can’t stop crying for the reasons of both joy and sadness. The little, healthy, bundle of radiance in the baby girl shines so bright and takes away her family not being present. Yezi can’t believe her eyes. A tiny little thing with eyes pressed close and body rigid yet having it’s arms out and gripping onto her hair only overwhelms her, and the joy spreading all over her makes her cry blissfully.
“My baby.” Yezi whispers upon kissing the top of the fragile little head of the baby girl. “Oh my god she’s so tiny.” Yezi cries holding tightly onto the baby- and even in return as the nurses gently try to take her away to clean her up- do her tiny little fingers grip onto Yezi’s hair crying when they try to pull her away. The scene is surreal and makes Yezi cry even more.
No amount of happiness that Yezi has ever felt in her life can ever top this moment of paradise and bliss.
“Everything went well,” Chungdae smiles with tears running down her face, while watching the nurses take care of the baby and the doctors closing Yezi’s uterus. “It’s a baby girl,”
Chenle despite not being present still feels in his heart pain for the departure of his daughter upon the new arrival of her daughter. “I’m happy they weren’t any complications,” But despite it all, he still smiles when Chungdae speaks so highly and positive of the baby.
While Chungdae chats with Chenle in a peaceful manner she laughs when watching the nurses change and hand the baby to Jaemin who’s panicked at how Yezi passes out with a smile on her face.
Meanwhile, downtown (2 a.m.) in a local club that’s drowning its customers with music, Dae grinds her body friskily all over Hendery’s toned body blurring out the world around her. Ever since she walked in partly sober, all the way till she heavily inducted herself in the drinks and stashed drugs Hendery had- did she feel as though she was being watched.
Not paying mind to it, her and Hendery take it over to the co-ed bathroom having a rash and messy quickie with both of them barely conscious of their actions. Dae is sloppy when sucking off Hendery and Hendery is lacking when it comes to thrusting with power- but they’re both so high that they barely care and yet still cum to the thoughts of sexual pleasure and having a good time. They’re drunk and high out of their mind when returning back to the dance floor to have another go at wasting their lives away.
Jeno, being sober and cleaning on the counter after the spilt drinks of the dozens of intoxicated bodies, finds it hard to believe that the girl he’s looking at is the same girl he had a crush on. As time goes by, his eyes are only hooked to her in uneasiness as she’s not in her right senses and doing things that he’d never thought she’d do. From grinding with one too many men, to making out with anyone that puts their lips on her, to some point even groping and gripping on her like a ragdoll- Jeno can only watch in shock that this lady with short bleached out blonde hair, bright red bra and tight exotically short red leather skirt, dancing her life away is supposedly the same person that he saw in court 1 year ago.
There’s no way this was that same girl, there’s no way this unhealthy looking skimpy dancer is Dae. There’s just no way.
He was just in prison for 12 months, yet upon coming out and managing to get a job as a cleaner in a bar- he’s shocked out of his mind at how much a year can change a person. He only started working some weeks ago, but the moment his eyes landed on Dae and he began seeing her every single night at the club.
And for 2 weeks of Dae not being in the house, and Yezi being discharged and being the happiest she can be when being around her child, no one can take away her joy- not Dae’s messy life, not her father’s absence and lack of response to her- nothing can take the smile off her face. Even when her own baby cries.
“Areum you’ve got the most gorgeous smile, I have ever seen in my entire life, so tell me why, why are you crying so much? Is it because you don’t like your nappy being changed?” Yezi playfully plays with her child while changing the pampers and applying the medicine on her baby’s umbilical cord. Despite the baby girl, Areum crying, Yezi still coo’s cutely and playfully plays with her child while hurriedly changing her and giving her new pampers.
Chenle, who can’t stand the wails, goes into his room where Chungdae is ironing the baby’s clothes. “The baby’s crying.” He proclaims in irritation.
“Be a grandfather and help your daughter,” Chungdae sneakily answers with a mischievous smile. “Come on honey, there’s a first time for everything.”
Chenle despondently rolls his eyes and walks out the room going to the living room continuing to watch the news informatics while he works. He puts the volume louder blocking out the sounds of the whining crying child. In the room, Chungdae can only chuckle as she finishes ironing and walks back to Yezi’s room and coo’s. “Oh oh oh oh oh, why is my Areum crying? Why is my beauty beauty little girl crying huh? Does she want to be warm? Does she want to be warm?”
Truly speaking, this child, Areum brought a wide smile to her face. There’s a first time for everything, and helping Yezi look after her child felt like such a huge privilege for her. She never had this opportunity of caressing and even holding onto a baby- but yet Yezi gave her that integrity and honor of being there as a mother to her child. Chungdae more than anything loved the idea of having children, but when she found out that she was unable to, it crushed her. But now, being a premature grandmother gave her a glimpse into the life of what it’s like having a child. And she so badly wanted to have this experience with Chenle. Which is why when Yezi nervously questions, “Is he mad?”
Her answer is always. “Leave him, he’ll come around sooner or later. He can’t be too angry at our little Areum, hm,” Chungdae brushes her face on the little baby’s belly causing the dressed baby girl to squirm in delight and joy. “Look at that smile, look at that smile, my baby, my little Areum,”
Chenle shakes his head when for a spilt second the silence that consumes the living room from the pause break on tv, Chenle hears both the ladies dumbing down their intellect to speak in foreign baby voices and act cute.
Having the full support of her mother, Yezi is at peace when living her life around the house. Not only does she feel the weight and responsibility of being a mother, but she gracefully embodies and embraces a whole set of accountabilities. When waking up next to her baby, she’s always reminded of how she so badly wants to change her life and make sure that she’s a good, fit, role model and mother for her child. It pushes her to study to the best of her ability. She wasn’t born with a smart brain, but she has been applying herself and trying. And in the same way the nurses cared for her during her whole stay at the hospital, she also wanted to be a nurse who’d help people.
It seemed laughable at first, but when talking with Doyoung (her tutor) and he encouraged her to pursue her growing passion- her life seemed to be heading in a tremendously great path. Every day her face glowed brighter because of her Areum who would always look at her with the most caring of smiles. Her smile reminded her so much of Dae.
But Dae is different now. Everything about her moved differently, her brain started working inversely, even her words weren’t giving life but breaking down and slowing down her speech, her posture was altered, her eye contact was unalike and her lips were always dry, even when she’d lick them they’d always turn white and cracked rapidly. It’s like her sister was morphing into something else, and sadly it wasn’t even a transitional phase, it was a reality that Dae couldn’t escape and Yezi’s heart was in pain seeing her sister like this, every day, without even knowing what she could do.
“Why won’t you let me see her?” Dae asks. This wasn’t her loving sister anymore- this was a corpse living in her sister’s body. And there’s no way she’d allow for a skeleton with no soul to see her baby.
“She’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake her up,” Creating excuses and avoiding her sister has become such a huge burden for Yezi.
“Stop lying!” Dae yells and alarms Yezi. “You’re ashamed of me and don’t want me near your fucking child! Who cares anyway, she’s nothing but a pathetic resemblance of the fucker who raped you! You bitch. You dumb fuck always refusing me to see that fucker-” Yezi holds her ground when watching her sister break down all types of slurs. She turns around when hearing her baby crying in the room and ignores Dae shutting the door in her face just as Dae barks louder and emits all types of curses. “She’s also a huge fuck. She’s gonna rob houses, take advantage of people, she’s gonna hate- just like I hate you-”
“Dae? No, stop it.” Chenle holds onto Dae, but Dae thrusts her arms off her father and pushes him back.Dae shuts her room door still slurring out. Chenle shakes his head, and turns to Yezi’s door.
He carefully knocks on it and moments later, Yezi opens it up cautiously, but when seeing her dad she opens the door a little bit wider. “Are you okay?”
Yezi nods her head gulping down a little lump. Chenle nods his head looking in the room towards the bed where the child was, and after looking at her for a bit he nods his head again and walks off.
Not a minute later, Dae opens up her room door before running out the house in the shortest black mini skirt and nothing on but a leopard bra. That's her breaking point. The truth is, she began drinking in hopes to forget the horrible dreams she'd have of 'that night'. But as the dreams never went away, she turned to drugs and even sexual acts with other people, hoping that it would make her forget. But she never forgot. It was always in her head. Her family wouldn't understand. She wasn't even counting on it. The way they ignored Yezi, they'd ignore her too. So, she decides to live with friends instead. With no arms at savings reach, and no family to care for her, Dae dance alone while consuming the drugs every night. But that too also became numb to her. She just wanted to die now. She hated life.
Her prayer is answered when one night she gets to the club and begins dancing her life away before getting into a petty fight with Hendery (on who gets the bill), to storming out the club in a wobbly unsteady dizzy mess only to be hit by a speeding car with her whole lanky body flying up and knocked off her feet straight into the pavement ground with such crude force, rendering her knocked out and unconscious, almost like death.
They always say that the few seconds of death, you’ll get a 7 second flashback of your entire life flashing before your eyes. Dae is convinced its death because within the seconds of her death she sees a face… Mark made Dae feel numb to everything that night, even while she heard her sister crying and yelling when Donghyuck was raping her, Dae can only remember Mark cumming in her mouth and she felt so worthless and like a failure for her whole family-
Despite her mind in pure intoxication and dejection, Jeno from the club rushes out to the scene when seeing the car drive away after it swept Dae and knocked her off her feet and brutally against the floor. Jeno as he’s running to Dae on the floor, gets a flash memory of how he recalled seeing her the same way in her room. Despite being a rich girl, she seems to be caught in these situations of being lost and broken.
Instantly he cradles her up and looks left and right to see who can help, but there’s no one in sight or on the street or sidewalk- just the club full of ignorant dancing fools who ignore her and him outside. She’s breathing slowly, her face covered in blood pouring from her head, her eyes shut and body trembling rigidly. He pats her cheek lightly. “Come on, come on,” He begs before cursing when feeling her bleeding from her sides and he gets up on his feet with her weak body. He puts her on his back and makes sure her hands are around his neck while his arms are over her legs as he begins running as fast as he can.
Dae doesn’t even hear a thing when feeling the wind blow past her face- looking into Jeno’s side, her vision is blurry and all she can see is death. She hiccups but to Jeno that’s assurance that she’s alive and not dying.
“Stay with me Dae, just a little bit longer.”
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Chenle can’t explain the discontent he’s been feeling with his new reality of life. In a normal life, he’s with his wife and two daughters who go to school, come home, talk about their future, ask him to buy things for them, eat all that they can eat, talk to him and ask for advice or even life lessons. In his dream he’s even gone as far to marrying them off to good men who have wealthy families and he knows that their generation will be able to sustain his wealth and inheritance. He even used to envision his grandchildren and how they’d be and how happy he’d be when dying of old age surrounded by his perfect family.
Yet in some distorted way, Chenle wakes up every day to his real reality being everything he loathes. Falling behind on work, being slow to building their new home because his mind is constantly wrapped around his daughters and all the chaotic decisions they’ve been making.
First it was Yezi and her bastard child, now it’s Dae and her spiraling life going into flames. Truly as a parent, he tried everything that he could to at least even get her to talk to him. Because that was always the first step into redemption; talking. But talking to Dae was impossible. His daughter had shut down in the worst way possible, and he didn’t know what to do.
The longest that Dae has stayed away from home was 4 days, but with a turn of events the longest that she’s stayed away from home is 2 weeks.
“Where could she be?” Chenle grows particularly concerned and troubled. He tries calling, texting but to his disappointment she doesn’t answer her phone or text back, it hardly gets to ‘seen’ and all calls go to voicemail. Chungdae tries calling, Yezi tries calling and emailing but still no answer. They call on her friends, especially Yang Yang, Winwin and Hendery who last claim that the last time they saw her she was in the club.
Before Chenle could take it a step further into filing and reporting her as a missing person, he felt bad as a parent and wondered where he went wrong. It came in an email, of Dae announcing her departure from his life. She made reference to how she didn’t want to carry on the family business, how she hated living her life like nothing happened especially after the aftermath of the accident. But what broke Chenle’s heart the most, was how she begged for him not to look for her or reach out to her, that she didn’t want him as a part of her life anymore, that she wanted to cut all ties with family and go her separate way.
The fact that this was a personalized email only sent to him and not her mother or sister, made Chenle believe that he was at fault for Dae coming to this decision. He didn’t even know where she was.
All he knows is that two months have passed and he hasn’t heard a word from her. If this is what she wanted to pursue then he didn’t want to hold her back.
That’s what he thought, but to Chungdae seeing her husband deteriorate and morph into a gloomy glum man made her miss the fluffy, peculiar, mischievous man she married. There was no light in her husband anymore. He just went to work, came home, ate in his study and fell asleep and repeated the same things everyday but like a droned out machine with no means of survival. Even when finally moving into their enlarged mansion and away from the rental home, he seemed the most distant.
The move in took about a week to settle in as the women were pampering around the house making it more suitable to their liking while at the same time modernizing it to their taste. Despite its beauty on the outside as well as inside, the house was very lonely for Chenle and he hated spending time with his family. And that was because of how they drifted apart. Chungdae and Yezi loved the baby, and Chenle didn’t.
That’s until 4 months later. He gets an off day and decides to spend it at home instead of the office. As predicted Yezi’s with her baby and Chungdae nearby Yezi. Chenle has the first layer living room all to himself and catches up on the latest informatics, however he gets up from his seat deciding to get his laptop and wor while watching the news. It’s on his way walking through the wide hallway does he get to the staircase and sees a little body bag on the floor dressed of a crocodile onesie.
It’s Yezi’s child. She’s on the top of the staircase, seemingly getting her way down by crawling on each step carefully. Chenle, like usual whenever seeing her, pays her no mind and climbs up the long flight of stairs and ignores her getting into his study room and getting his light weighing laptop as well as gadget bag before going back down the stairs. Expecting to see her still at the same spot his heart jumps out of his chest when seeing her on the last few steps but somehow tumbles and rolls down the remaining steps before smacking her head on the tiled ground.
“Shit-” He rushes down the steps and looks at the little girl who’s flat on the floor. He gets near her and gets stunned when she’s kissing the floor. Upon seeing him, she laughs joyously and crawls to sit up on the floor. He sighs in frustration. “Honey! Come get the baby.”
He walks past her and heads outside the backyard porch. He takes a seat on the veranda table with which had a serene view of his large backyard. Sometimes the thought of being rich made him feel better about his problems, as long as he had money he was okay to provide for himself any vacation he needed. With his iPad channeled to the news, while his laptop focused on the project and the tablet on notepad mode, upon seeing nature and the sky Chenle’s able to work effortlessly and soundly with no disruptions.
But he speaks too soon because Areum (being somewhat around 8 months) creeps her way outside on the wooden floor before scrambling out on the grass. Chenle has his eyes on the screen but yet after spotting her he exhales in annoyance. “Honey!” He yells out hoping that she can come and take this baby back inside. “Reckless.” He hadn’t set any barricades for the baby because the baby was always with Yezi, so he didn’t feel the need to secure any areas in the house.
And because of not securing the baby crawls on the grass outside of the shade and explores around. She’s a walking and falling mess- but with a joyous and jolly laugh, whenever she falls down she gets back up and carries on walking. In her onesie she’s playing on the floor by laying down, scampering around, attempting to stand up- she’s like a dog and it doesn’t help when Chenle notices Daegal too surrounding the baby and playing with her.
Her loud squeal in pain causes him to snap his head away from the screen and to her. She wails out after stomping with her hand on the sprinklers and the water splashes on her, and Daegal joins in barking at the sprinklers when it starts spluttering out water. Chenle tsks and ignores her crying, placing his air pods on focusing on his work. That wasn’t his problem… but at the same time he can’t help but be cautious of her moves. “Chungdae!” He yells out.
With no success in getting Chungdae to come and get the baby, Chenle continues with work and ignores the child almost entirely. It’s not until she finds her way back in his line of vision under the shade and sitting down on the wooden floor playing with things, assembly Daegal’s toys does he sigh out. He doesn’t care about her, he only cares that the baby was disturbing his peace and has somehow been set free to move around the house. Where’s Yezi? Where’s Chungdae?
Meanwhile Areum in her own world attempts to stand and walks a few steps only to tumble on the ground in her onesies, what catches his eyes is that every time she’d fall there would be a smile on her face, and unknowingly a smile would also be on his face for a spilt second. He tries as best as he can to overlook the little baby girl, but she makes it so hard, when slowly but surely she moves closer to him.
The next to time he looks away from the screen, she’s standing by leaning on the table bouncing to inaudible music. Upon getting his attention, Areum smiles and moves by hurriedly walking to the chair where he’s sitting and leans on his leg.
“No, no.” Chenle scolds. “Don’t touch me.” Chenle shoves her hands off his thighs.
Areum can only sit on the ground while looking up to the older man with wonder in her eyes. Her eyes that are just so precious and almost melt Chenle’s heart, but his quick in shifting away. In shifting away she only gets closer to him before yawning and rubbing on her eye in a messy state.
She gets back up and holds onto his thigh while minding her own business and playing with Daegal’s toy. Chenle tries not to shove her away, afraid he’ll hurt her but at the same time his eyes constantly move to her wondering if she’s okay.
She’s banging the toy on his thigh and making gurgling sounds while playing with herself, leaving Chenle to simply work and not mind her.
However, after some time, she grows quiet, and still while balancing on Chenle, she slides down his leg and leans her head on his leg. Chenle notices this and tentatively shakes his leg. “Hey,”
Areum looks up, her eyes blinking and wipes on them before making herself comfortable again on his leg. He leans back on his seat after a certain time and looks at her. Her posture looks bent and surely uncomfortable but it doesn’t stop her from sleeping. It’s when her neck starts wobbling and craning does he find his arms stretching down and his hands carrying and lifting her fazed sleepy state.
“You’re heavy,” He mummers before she hurriedly fixes herself comfortably in his hands by laying her body on his chest and her head against the croak of his neck. Chenle is stiff for a minute, and snaps out of it when feeling his dog by his foot. Looking down he sees Daegal wrapping herself in a ball and making herself comfortable. Chenle leans back on his seat and gently rests his hand on the baby’s back, the other arm holding her in place.
He soon finds himself dozing off after listening to the commentary with ear pods in his ear and his vision blurring while he succumbs to the sleep.
“Mum? I can’t find Areum anywhere,” Yezi looks panicked when waking up her mum. Chungdae blinks in haziness but after hearing Yezi’s concern she’s up on her feet.
“She was sleeping with me,”
“Well where is she?” Yezi in heaps of fright dashes out the room and continues to search all over the house, calling her name. She even gets upset that the house is so big. The only place she ever spent time with Areum was on the second floor where her room was- but after searching the entire second floor her heart is in frantic panic when looking all over. “Areum?”
In seeing Daegal stretching by the outside porch door and entering the house- Yezi scampers towards the door being breathless hoping to see her child. But her eyes are too stunned to move when she takes in the sight right before her. Right underneath the shade of the veranda, she sees her dad carrying her baby. The sight itself is wholesome with her dad’s eyes closed and embracing her child in such a manner of protecting her. Her heart fills up with an overwhelming longing. Seeing this sight only enlightens her.
Despite having non-verbal communications with her dad, Yezi had a slight assurance that her father still cared about her every time he paid for her private lessons with the tutor, every time he gave Chungdae money to give her, or even the little moments when he’d stoke up on her favorite foods whenever they’d run out. Despite not talking, Yezi knew that her dad still cared for her. And seeing this sight of him holding her child, gives her some sort of hope. Ever since Areum was born, Chenle never ever held her and refused to do so even in private when Chungdae would ask for help.
But now seeing how comfortable her baby is sleeping on her dad makes her smile. Deciding not to interrupt them, she moves back in the house and informs Chungdae that Areum is safe. After an hour or so, Chenle is awakened when Chungdae lightly tries to get Areum off his sleeping figure. He finds himself holding tighter onto the little girl, but eventually slowly let’s go, nodding his head when Chungdae states that her nappy is full. However, much to Areum’s distaste and drowsy state- refuses to let go of Chenle and holds tighter even whimpering out for the touch of the man who rarely holds her.
“What do you wanna do again?” Chenle asks, while removing his earphone and seemingly looks a little more awake then before. Especially when noticing that the child doesn’t want to let go of him.
“I want to change her diaper, it’s full and she’s gonna get rash,” Chungdae tries again to pull Areum off and Chenle gently tries to stretch her towards his wife, but Areum cries only resulting in Chenle holding onto her again.
“Okay, okay, it’s okay, let’s go,” Chungdae is surprised when seeing Chenle stands up with the child and they both embark inside the house going up the stairs. All this while Chenle holds onto an awake yet sleepy Areum and pats her back lightly. “Where’s Yezi?”
“Studying in her room, we can just go to our room,”
Chenle nods his head and upon getting to their room, he carefully lays Areum down while assuring the little wailing baby of his presence by playing with her hand while Chungdae begins removing her clothes and changing her. Her whimpers die down when Chenle holds onto her hand and playfully tells her it’s okay. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s just a nappy change,”
Chungdae hurries on to changing and cleaning the baby, but at the same time she pays attention to how Areum watches Chenle in awe and silences down whilst smiling and being entertained by him. When she’s done and dresses Areum in another onesie, Areum being tired yet awake and seemingly just staring at Chenle warms Chungdae’s heart.
“What’s wrong with her?” Chenle gently asks while lying on the bed and looking into the young baby’s black eyes. “She’s tired but she doesn’t want to sleep,” Chenle whispers.
“She can’t stop looking at you, at her grandfather,” Chungdae whispers back.
Despite Chenle not liking that word especially used for this child… his heart can’t help when he sees just how much curiosity is in the little girls’ eyes. “Sleep,” he smiles lightly when her features get into a drowsy sleep but her eyes are quick to open to make sure that Chenle is still in front of her. “You won’t miss anything. I’ll still be here. Sleep okay,” Chenle adjusts his posture on the bed to be at the same level as her while he also makes himself comfortable. Soon enough, after much ogling Areum falls asleep.
In Chungdae’s head, the little girl just wanted to take in this special moment of her bonding with her grandfather and didn’t want to miss out on seeing his face close to hers.
And for a few more days, although its scarce to see Chenle with Areum, Areum feels a tad bit comfortable in always approaching him. Whether by running to him whenever her mum would chase her and tell her it’s time to bath, or even by following Chenle around once she’s spotted him. In all honesty, at first it was annoying for Chenle to be followed by the miniature creature bastard child. However, he got used to her petite figure and he’d always be cautious of her movements. Chenle purposely acknowledges her and on other days it seems like he’s almost waiting for his chance to pick her up. And always waits for the signaling. It can be Chungdae asking for help with the little girl, and Chenle simply carries her and holds her while Chungdae works. Other times it’s when he gets back from work and already sees the baby crawling on the floor but when seeing him she attempts to stand and scampers in his direction.
Yezi only having seen the sight once, is surprised when one day, a Saturday, her dad is at home instead of being at work. And it so happens that when Chungdae leaves the house to go to the market, Areum won’t stop crying while Yezi is studying.
“Areum, please stop crying.” Yezi slightly raises her voice being upset. She stands up and bobs on Areum while holding her notebook in the other hand and tries to study, but Areum carries on crying. “Areum!”
That only makes Areum wail out more even going as far as hitting her mum wanting to get down.
“Areum what do you want!? I just wanna study-”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Chenle opens up the door stepping into the room cautiously. “What’s wrong?” He asks while struggling to hear through Areum’s screeches.
“I just wanna study but Areum keeps crying, I gave her milk and food, gave her bath but she won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do and mum isn’t here-” Yezi herself also looks like she’s on the verge of crying, both from stress of the exam as well as her crying baby. She’s so overwhelmed by her emotions that when her dad offers to watch over Areum, she agrees without a second thought and continues studying while her dad shuts the door and disappears with Areum. It’s only when she’s calmed down and easily studies does she realise that her dad actually spoke to her in a somewhat decent conversation and even offered to take Areum.
Her heart, for a second, seems like it stops beating because of the shock that just happened. Carefully, no longer being interested in studying and wants to see with her own eyes, she walks out her room and tries to spot her dad with her child. She moves all over the house and even outside, but when she doesn’t see her dad, she panics and before she can even call out to them both- she’s surprised when seeing Chungdae block her mouth looking ecstatically pleased and happy. Gently pulling Yezi to the kitchen, they’re both caught in a trans of watching Chenle and the baby.
Chenle is holding on Areum on one side of his hip while holding a piece of a pineapple on a fork. He nibbles only a little and then moves the fork towards Areum. Areum sucks on the fruit and backs away with a sour look on her face just as Chenle moves the fork back silently laughing at her reaction. However, when Areum pounces on and eagerly tries to grab the fork from Chenle’s other hand with extreme force.
And it seems that it’s through that one little moment that a serene feeling of joy passes through the house for everyone. It’s through Areum that somehow the sense of ‘family’ began making sense again. As days pass, it seems like all the family wants to do is build their life and remain connected and not look back anymore. They each continue to strive in building a better life for themselves, Chungdae as the joy of the house continues to encourage as well as bring the family together, Yezi as a persistent graduate embarks on a journey of making her dad proud as well as herself and her baby, Chenle rightfully taking the head in making sure that this time his family is safe and that nothing can hurt them. At the same time, Areum grows in the love and embrace of all her family.
And Areum’s first word much to all their surprise is “Gwanpa”. Chenle never knew the excitement he’d feel when hearing the form of words leave the little girl’s mouth, his little bean. And hearing the word from her mouth, makes him wish that his whole family be together and that he’s willing to reconcile with Dae. No matter what. Which is why, when he sends her an email years later, he’s heart is open to accept whatever the outcome is- but he mostly leans onto the best. He hopes that his daughter Dae, will come back to him.
Especially since she approves his email and accepts his invitation, asking if she can come with her boyfriend who’s helped her get back into shape. Chenle at first is surprised with joy to hear from his daughter, but his surprise turns to stun when he learns who she’s been dating and spending time with for the past years. But all in all, he figures that it’s time to let bygones be bygones, especially within their 5th year, a parole letter from the court comes in and asks whether or not they’ll accept Donghyuck’s appeal for parole.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Chungdae asks while sitting next to her husband on their bed late at night, as they stare at the email together.
Chenle inhales in deeply, re-reading his email before nodding his head. “We’ve moved passed the past and all I want to do is move on. I’m sure from his appeal he won’t be a bother to us. And I sure as hell don’t want to receive emails about them anymore. Granting his parole as well as accepting never to receive emails like this again, will allow our family to finally have the peace we’ve been seeking for. Nothing bad will happen,”
Once Chenle sends in the email, the receivers are prompt to already writing up Donghyuck’s release paper’s and setting up for him to leave within a 5-day notice.
S2:EP7-14
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[5 days later: Thursday 9h30 a.m.]
Donghyuck is up and refreshed before anyone else in his cell. His eyes are trained on the barred windows to the light pouring out of the clouds. This is the day he would step foot outside of this damn prison in hopes never to return again.
“Can’t believe you’re leaving so soon,” Mark mumbles looking up to Donghyuck from his bed. Still being under the covers he watches his friend who’s got bruises on his nose, chin and cheek bone, but still his enthusiasm spreads all over his face. “You’re a free man but you’re already looking so beat,”
“Fuck off Mark.” Donghyuck runs his hands through his head taking a seat on his own bed. His head running free and wild with thoughts. But the one thing that’s pressing his head is that he never wants to come back to prison again. He misses his mum (who has not been sending in her letters to him), he misses Renjun who he heard from the ward guards that he was released 3 years ago. He misses his family, and he knows that they might not be too excited to see him when he gets back, but he wants to show them just how much he’s changed in his mindset. He wants to try and be the son his mum has always wanted, and he wants to be a big brother to Renjun, but most importantly, he wants to live his life the right way. “Even though I’m fucked up, I want to live honestly,” He whispers out.
Mark scoffs and rolls his eyes. “You’re all talk but, you’ll be back here before you know it. There’s going to be something that will just piss you off and make you go crazy,”
Donghyuck tries not to pay attention to Mark and only focuses on the positive, and he gets relieved when he hears his prison cell buzzer ring and looks up to the door that has a square space with bars. Seeing the officer Park Jisung call his name, Donghyuck eagerly stands up placing his hands behind his head as procedure. Officer Park Jisung gets in the cell accompanied by another guard (who stands like a guard dog and watches Mark and the other prisoners making sure that they don’t try and move). Jisung pulls Donghyuck’s hands down and into handcuffs. “Good morning Lee Donghyuck. My name is Officer Park, I’ll be in charge of settling your release papers and getting you out of here. Any questions you have will have to wait until we get to the holding center.”
Donghyuck feels relief wash over him that his appeal had been approved and that he can hear his freedom being doors away. He thought surely that he’d be rejected, but much to his surprise they granted him freedom.
“Why’d they say yes?” Donghyuck asks regardless of what Jisung said.
“Any questions you may have will have to wait until we get to the holding center.” Jisung repeats sternly.
This makes Mark snicker a little while watching his friend being taken away. Donghyuck looks back to Mark with a formidable smile. “Good luck Mark,”
“See you soon bro,” Mark winks his eye and breathes out when their door is banged shut causing the metallic locks to seal up the door again. “I’ve gotta get out of here,”
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The metal gates containing the prison facility closes after Donghyuck steps out. He takes a look back to the buildings that enclosed him and kept him for 5 years. He rubs his wrists looking up to the hot sun taking in the air of his new freedom. Finally, he’s out.
He expects to see his mum as usual, yet when there’s no sign of humans around the area he hangs his jacket behind his back before looking left and right and beginning his walk.
By the time Donghyuck’s legs wear out and he’s tired both physically as well as mentally, he stops by a gas station hoping to make a phone call. He barely has enough coins to make a calling, but he manages with the little he has. He leans by the wall and taps on the memorized phone numbers calling on his mum.
Thankfully the phone clicks. “Hello?”
“Mum,” Donghyuck’s voice is raspy but it can’t contain his own happiness when hearing his mum’s voice. She doesn’t sound sick.
“Oh,” Her voice fades. “Donghyuck is that you?”
“Yes, uh, I got released today,”
“I was aware.”
There’s a moment of silence that passes between them, with Donghyuck waiting eagerly to hear her voice but yet she doesn’t reciprocate his enthusiasm. Sensing that she’s not going to speak he speaks before his minutes run out. “Uhm, I was wondering…if you could let me stay over at your place…” He scratches the back of his head, feeling small and crushed that his mother doesn’t sound pleased to even hear him. “Just until I can find a place to stay,”
Her silence lasts long only causing Donghyuck to worry.
“Please…please mum?” He begs. “I… I won’t stay long. Please, I promise to be on my best behavior, I-”
“You have less than 1 minute.” The operating voice cuts in between, causing Donghyuck to curse. When the line connects again, he waits a bit to hear from his mum, but she still doesn’t speak.
“Okay fine. Just for tonight.” Donghyuck lets out as a last resort. “I’ll be gone in the morning.”
Just when Donghyuck isn’t expecting his mum to accept, she does. “Fine. But we changed the address. Right now, I’m at work, Renjun will arrive in an hour or so, you’ll have to wait outside. We no longer live in 84 Guryong. We’re in Estate Pent Thirty-f-”
“Shit.” Donghyuck tries to look for pocket change to carry on the call, but it hangs and he curses. “Fuck.” A few seconds of rest leads to him looking at the street map outside the gas store to find the address the his mum mentioned. “Estate Pent…” His eyes widen slightly seeing that the new residence is in an area whereby he’s never lived in.
It’s also quite far from where he is. He takes a deep breath and begins walking…
“Need a lift?”
Donghyuck’s ears are alert when hearing a voice. He looks behind him to a guy smiling at a girl. The girl continues walking minding her own business and not focusing on the guy who tries desperately hard to get her attention including whistling. Donghyuck breathes out a chuckle. “Still a dick.”
Jungwoo much to his own dissatisfaction rolls his eyes when the girl ignores him. “Fine. Go away with your flat ass,”
“I gotta advice you bro, chasing chicks decades younger then you will lead you to prison,” Donghyuck speaks loud enough to get the attention of the male in the car. Jungwoo peers to the voice and instantly a smile coats his face.
“Ehy, the boy who went to prison,” Jungwoo stops his engine and gets out the car just as Donghyuck walks over to the man. They get into a bro hug doing a little handshakes before Jungwoo goes all in for a hugr causing Donghyuck to stand in shock before he pushes Jungwoo off him. Jungwoo laughs it off fixing his cow boy hat on his head looking jolly. “Man, how the hell are you out? Did you escape? ‘Cause I know for sure your sentence was much longer then this? Where’s your other half by the way? You hungry? I was heading to lunch, come on. There’s a new joint that opened up serving amazing lobster- you know what it can be my treat, order and eat as much as you like. It’s good seeing you, the streets have been crazy with this boy by the name of Shotaro being all over the place causing havoc on every territory. Thank goodness you’re back, you can teach him a lesson. Wait, did I actually tell you about Sungchan? He was sentenced life in prison just yesterday, but wait that brings me back to you, how are you out? How-”
One thing Donghyuck liked about his old friend Jungwoo was how he always did the talking and never really allowed anyone else to talk but himself. He’d not only ask questions, but he’d answer his own questions and most of the time Donghyuck thinks that Jungwoo doesn’t really care about anyone’s opinion because he’s always talking and likes hearing his voice. So Donghyuck simply sits in the front seat, resting out his legs and allowing his seat to recline backwards so that he can take time to breathe in from his heavy walking. Hopefully when done eating, he’ll set the street address of his mum’s new place.
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After a heavy and amazing meal, Donghyuck is seated outside on a bench in the park under a tree facing in the direction of a clean and solid apartment building. Not only did it reside in a well off area, but the people themselves walking in and out of the apartment looked stable. At first he wanted to go in, but seeing how he was dressed in dark clothes from the night of the accident, he knew that the guards wouldn’t let him in. So now he sits outside, waiting for Renjun or even his mum to show up.
He waits for a really long time until his eyes squint a little by the appearance of a person which resembles Renjun. However, this person has got short black hair, looks angry and is dressed in all black clothes… well his jersey is a mixture of black and white stripes, but it sure as hell makes him look so different.
“Renjun!” Donghyuck yells out the name of his brother. There’s a fleeting happiness that gets upon Donghyuck’s heart when seeing the boy. Just two days ago, he reminisced on the feelings of how he felt for disappointing Renjun. So seeing him causes him happiness. He stretches his legs and begins moving towards the exit of the park going over to Renjun who stands frozen looking at Donghyuck as if it’s a horror movie. “Hey,” Donghyuck greets with a wholeheartedly.
However, Renjun is anything but cheerful. Up close, there’s a permanent resting scowl on his face, and with the short hair Donghyuck can see the faint lines of wrinkles which help to make Renjun look even more angry. “What are you doing here?”
Donghyuck is confused by the tone tilting his head with a confused face. “What’s up with the glum face?”
“You didn’t answer my question.” Renjun remarks looking closed off. “What are you doing here?”
“Mum gave me the ad-”
“The hell she did.” Renjun says distastefully. “Why’re you out? Didn’t you have a full sentence of 15 years?”
Donghyuck tries not to get angry, by holding in his tongue and poking it on the corner of his lip. “You also don’t want me here?” It’s clear how from his reaction that he also didn’t want him around. And to be fair, Donghyuck can understand why, but the fact that Renjun doesn’t even look the least bit fazed makes Donghyuc upset. “Well I called mum and she said I could stay here for-”
“You’re not gonna stay here. Her health’s been good for the past years now, she doesn’t need stress in her life anymore. Neither do I, so go back where you belong behind bars and out of everyone’s hair.” Renjun gives Donghyuck a dirty look before walking past him.
Donghyuck is quick in stopping his brother by the arm before looking to him. “Look Renjun. I’m sorry-”
“Save it. And leave me alone.” Renjun yanks his arm away. “I don’t care if she gave you the address, you’re not getting in. Find another place, in fact consider yourself cut from our lives. We don’t want you here.”
Donghyuck is about to comment out he has no right to speak, but he holds his tongue shutting his eyes tightly when thinking of just how much he tried his best to change in prison. If he continues to allow his tongue to be the master of everything, he’ll end up in prison again. Which is why he lets Renjun go. He stands in place and sighs, before going back to the park and sitting down on the bench with his brain raging but seemingly trying to remain calm. He reminds himself, that he deserves Renjun’s anger. But mostly Donghyuck fears just how much prison has changed his brother. Not only appearance wise, but internally as well. The Renjun that Donghyuck remembers was timid and always on edge, was always looked down upon and was a whining coward. This Renjun is gritty, unwavering, strong minded and angry. Donghyuck can blame it on the prison experience and also with the fact that he may or may not be his brother’s favorite person right now- but damn he’s changed so much. Was this his behavior everywhere, or was it only because Donghyuck was there. Whatever it is, Donghyuck hopes that it’ll pass.
With all the time he spent in prison trying to change his ways and character, he can’t come home to everyone already given up on him. He wanted one more chance, to redeem himself as well as prove that he wasn’t an unlucky fuckup. He needed just one more chance.
And so when the afternoon rolls in and the sky changes colors from blue to a cream shade of orange, Donghyuck gets up when seeing the all too familiar posture of his mother. Donghyuck can already tell that so much has changed. He’s not only happy to see her walking strongly and with a smile on her face, but also she looks really good. She’s dressed in a beautiful floral dress and her back is actually not hunched over. She looks strong. And that makes Donghyuck’s emotions flatter. Seeing his mother after so long causes him to be slightly emotional. Because he knows that soon, her smile will fade when looking at him.
It doesn’t even take a second for her smile to disappear upon noticing him crossing the street over to where she is. Her smile instantly vanishes when Donghyuck’s gaze meets hers. He tries not to break down, but the tears are already building up. His mum hates him. He can’t even look at her, as his eyes blur and he hates on himself for ever using her to the point where he takes away her smile.
However, when Donghyuck’s head hangs and he stops walking, his mum sighs sadly upon seeing her son. She slowly makes her way to him. When standing in front of him, her hand lands on his shoulder. He doesn’t look up and neither does she try to get him to look up. Honestly when he called, she just wished that she changed her number because she didn’t want to speak to him. And seeing him now, she thinks of how much worry he’s put her through. In all the times that he went to prison, she would work her hardest to try and help her son. Everyone called her names, called him names, and it tore her image not only as mother but a woman. Her son was her greatest embarrassment, but he was all she had. And despite the humiliation she’d go through, she still tried, she would drain herself day and night to get some sort of money to bail him out, some money to feed him, cloth him, help him start afresh because this was her son whom she loved so much. At some point, she even became religious and prayed for her son to change. She believed that he would change someday.
But that day, 5 years ago at the court room, she realized just how far gone her son had gone. He seemed beyond saving, and there was nothing she could do. When Donghyuck led Renjun to prison, something in her snapped. She didn’t want to be mother who failed. She knew she did nothing wrong and always corrected him, but his behavior was not a character she raised. So upon Renjun, beaten, in cuffs, accused, mocked and even humiliated- she saw herself in him. That day, her heart broke in ways that her abusive husband had never broken her before. Enough was enough. She needed to break free from the chains of being broken. All she wanted was strength and chance to set her life straight, so when they both went to prison, she was left alone and had been granted a chance to change her life. And when Renjun finished serving his sentence, she made sure that she would be strong for the son she didn’t deserve. She tried to be the mother she had always envisioned herself to be. And thankfully, day by day with a grateful son in her corner she slowly regained the strength she had lost, she became into a better and healthier version of herself.
With a good son in her corner, who always took care of her, reminded her everyday why she was special, she knew that her life was finally making sense. Life was supposed to be this way. And she never wanted to let this moment go. But now standing in front of Donghyuck, her son, her past- she’s expecting to be warm and welcoming to him, but she can’t find it in herself to even smile for her son. But as a way of moving on, she rubs his back. “You’re staying for tonight. You leave in the morning.”
Donghyuck tightens his jaw and nods his head. His heart broken. But he can’t say anything as he feels the lump clogging his throat. He ends up walking, following behind her. The guard is alert when seeing Donghyuck, as hours before Renjun warned him not to let him in. “Good afternoon Mrs Lee,”
“Hi Chanyeol,” She smiles warmly. “Any letter for me?”
The man smiles and shakes his head, always being kind and friendly to the middle aged woman who had nothing but a big heart whenever seeing him. “No, your son took them up,” Chanyeol clears his throat motioning to Donghyuck. “He informed me that, I shouldn’t let the gentleman in.”
She looks back to Donghyuck who still had his hand holding on his leather jacket. Sighing, she turns back to Chanyeol and shakes her head. “I’m guessing he was upset right?”
“Very,” Chanyeol smiles politely. “Haven’t seen him that angry before.”
“Hopefully it’s short lived,” She motions behind her. “This is a guest, he’s only visiting for the night, so don’t worry,”
It’s more than a blow for Donghyuck when he hears his mum calling him a guest. Did he really lose her trust? He tries not to say anything and follows behind his mum who makes her way to the elevator of the polished looking apartment.
Donghyuck doesn’t look around and simply keeps his head down, his own thoughts weighing him down. There’s a feeling of loneliness that engulfs him in anger, but he refuses to display or manifest it. He’s so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t even hear his mother who speaks. “Have you eaten?”
Hearing the silence, she’s reminded of how her son barely even spoke to her decently in the first place, and so she doesn’t even try to create small conversation with him when entering the elevator. They make it to the 7th floor and Donghyuck follows behind until his mother stops by a door.
Before even opening the door, Donghyuck’s nostrils sniff the scent of a delicious aroma. Hearing his mother laugh, he looks up when seeing the door open revealing a delighted looking Renjun. “Guess what I made? Come in quick before it gets cold, I just took it off the stove now,”
She unlocks the gates and walks in, allowing for Donghyuck to follow in the lively lit home. It feels like a home with all the warmth and love. Already he feels out of place, but there’s nothing he can do but follow in. His mum closes the gate behind still chatting on with Renjun who disappeared somewhere. Donghyuck turns his head to the walls, seeing portraits and pictures of just her and Renjun. There are some medals hung on the wall and trophies as well. “Wow,” He mutters underneath his breath.
The entrance of the house is a narrow hallway, leading to a living room and there’s a door on the side for the kitchen. Donghyuck follows his mum who enters the kitchen. He stands by the doorway watching his mother walking to the stove where Renjun is. The kitchen is large enough that it even has a table and four chairs around it.
Donghyuck wants to walk in- but the moment the lively chatter stops between his mother and Renjun- he looks up. And just as he guessed, Renjun has stern cold eyes fixed on him. “What the hell.” He mutters and peaks at his mum. “You let him in?”
“Just for tonight sweety, he said he’d be gone by the morning,” She gives him a pat on the back.
“But why’d you let him in?” Renjun’s shoulders slump and he crosses his arms. “I thought you said you’re done with him?”
“Renjun, please,” Donghyuck notes how she tries to calm Renjun down by holding onto the sides of his arm. “I know what I said, but it’s just for tonight-”
“I hate to break it to you mum, but that’s how it always starts. You let him stay the night, and the next thing we know he’s out and about causing trouble and continues hiding out here until we’ve got a whole bunch of unwanted debt collectors and police officers barking down on the door-”
“Renjun.” She calls earnestly. “Don’t talk like that, stop it. He’s your brother you-”
“He’s your son, not my brother. He never was.” Renjun drops his arms and turns back to the stove causing for Donghyuck to poke on the side of his mouth with his tongue, while he watches his mother look nonchalant. “I only made enough for you and me.” Renjun turns around and begins plating his meal as well as for his mum. Before he takes a seat grumpily eating on his food.
“You’ve gotten awfully comfortable-”
“And you’ve outstayed your welcome and family privileges.” He sharply remarks glaring at Donghyuck. “You’re making everyone uncomfortable, do us a favor and just-”
“Renjun.” A warning tone leaves their mum’s lips. “Eat your food.” She inhales sharply running her hand through her hair. “Are you hungry Donghyuck?”
He only ate the meal that Jungwoo gave him in the morning, and even if he kind of felt hungry, he didn’t want to. He shakes his head. “It’s okay you can enjoy your food. Uh, while moving did you take any of my stuff-”
“Yes-”
“I threw them out.” Renjun cuts his mum off. Her gaze that penetrates the back of his head is strong in shock. “They were an omen and reflection of bad luck.”
“Renjun-”
“You know what,” Donghyuck grates his teeth before biting on his lip. “Fuck this. I’m leaving.”
“Donghyuck-”
Donghyuck shakes his head pulling his leather jacket back on and moving the door. He opens it only to be stopped by the gate.
“Donghyuck don’t leave.” His mum carefully holds onto his arm looking disheartened. “You said you’d stay for the night-”
“I’m not wanted here anymore, clearly, so just fucking open the gates and I’ll be out of your life forever. You wanted me gone anyway, so I’ll do you a favor and leave.”
“Donghyu-”
“Mum please.” Donghyuck stresses out through his teeth closing his eyes feeling the tears. “You’re clearly fucking healthy and you look great. I don’t want to fuck things up again, so just please open the gates. I’ll go and I promise not to fucking disturb you again.”
For some reason, that only makes her heart hurt. “Just for tonight- I’ll make dinner, please-”
Donghyuck shakes his head and wipes his eyes before forcing his arms out of his mother’s hands and walks back to the kitchen. “Come fucking open the gates or else I’ll break it open.”
“No need to tell me twice.” Renjun grumbles leaving his chopsticks and digging into his pockets bringing out keys. Renjun moves to the gates ignoring his mum who gives him upset eyes. Once he unlocks the gates, Donghyuck pushes past him and leaves.
“Donghyuck.” She calls once, but it’s useless when he turns the corner and instead of using the elevator takes the stairs all the way down.
The security guard, Chanyeol notes that Donghyuck is leaving and he doesn’t say anything.
Donghyuck is angry. Enraged by the stupid tears that clog his vision as he keeps walking away. He wants to hit something- to punch someone- to scream- to shout- to find some way to let his anger out- any other way except through tears. He finds his way back on the park bench underneath the tree as he holds his head in between his hands and stays silent. He sniffs here and there but he doesn’t cry. He allows for himself to feel the emotions of frustration. It’s the fact that there’s a whole in his heart and that he can feel it bleeding- it’s the fact that he wants to let it out but he knows that he can’t let it out without harming someone. But he doesn’t want to harm anyone- he doesn’t want to prove to Renjun or even Mark that he’s the same. Which is why when the first few come out, he doesn’t hold back and allows his shoulders to shudder and his voice to croak as he let’s out his emotions, his tears, his cry.
The whole night, Donghyuck covers himself in self-pity while contemplating on what to do in his life, where and how to try and live an honest life. Unlike when he was in prison, seeing his mother again made him realize that she’s always been there through thick and thin, even though he let her down she was everything a mother could be- he just never cherished her enough and that she was the only one. In her soul she would sacrifice for him to have the best in life…and because he took her for granted, he needed to let her know that he wants to make it right…he wants to touch her soul again, to at least bring a smile on her face. So before the early morning, he’s up from the bench and walks around the area. He cleans up his face in the public toilet washing his face and looking himself in the mirror giving himself some encouragement.
“I look so pathetic.” He mutters before leaving the bathroom.
Donghyuck doesn’t fret when the nearby stores don’t have any positions open, he doesn’t fret when he gets approached by some the old friends he knew who used to steal and sell on the sides of the roads, he walks away from them and persists on his journey to find work. It would’ve been easier if he didn’t get many employers asking for paperwork, degrees or even cv- it was even worse when they recognized him as someone who had a prison record, much worse when they didn’t know and they asked and he had to be honest with them. It’s hard work looking for a job, but just thinking of his mother allows him to try.
Day in and day out, Donghyuck finds himself barely making it through. On the first night he slept in the park opposite his mother’s apartment, but after much nights of sleeping on a bench- welcoming arms came from another homeless man who told him about a shelter that took in ‘straymen’ like himself. A nonprofit organization that helped to feed the needy and gave water once a week. He somehow got attached to the group of stray kids… homeless stray men who stuck together and would share everything they had with each other. Donghyuck didn’t fret when within a week, he found himself sleeping under bridges, on street corners and even sleeping standing up against a building. It wasn’t much, but he got work as a car washer. It wasn’t much because it wasn’t even professional as they’d randomly go up to cars by a traffic light and offer to wash windows. Not only washing cars but he got multiple side jobs; handing out newspapers, collecting any forms of plastic to get recycled and even helping people carry bags that were heavy.
It’s the most humiliated Donghyuck had ever felt, but as long as he was making money- he endured it. He just needed to reach his goal, to at least go to an internet café and forge out documents with his qualification. He didn’t make it far in school because of lack of funds, but Donghyuck did do side programs and got some degree. Even though forging out documents was wrong, Donghyuck had enough of being humiliated.
Together, on most days, he found himself attending ‘church’ with the group of stray kids who would go to pray.
When he thought of religion, he only thought of his mother. There was no one else committed like her when it came to going every day, praying every day and even giving in money she didn’t have. Donghyuck only came because it felt as a way to be close to her.
So he wasn’t expecting when one Sunday after the service he’d see a bright eyed woman waiting for him. His heart felt heavy for a second when seeing his mum standing and smiling. The automatic tears that seemed to only come when he acknowledged her. He looks behind him, wondering whether Renjun was around, because ever since he came out of prison she never smiled at him- so it wouldn’t make sense that 2 months later she’s outside with a warm smile.
Donghyuck scratches his neck and looks away already disqualifying himself from her gaze. Yet he freezes when hearing his name being called. “Donghyuck,”
His head slowly turns back to the spot whereby he saw his mum. His shoulders hang when he notices that she’s approaching him. He can’t even look at her in the eye knowing that he can’t contain the tears just as much as he can’t contain the anger.
Her eyes take in his appearance. He’s dressed in the same clothes that she last saw him in. Although his pants looked faded and bit dirty, his leather jacket was worn out and had some leather falling out. His hair was messy and looked combed down only with his fingers. Even though she’s not able to see his face, she can see how much weight he lost. Prison must’ve fed him well because when she last saw him he looked in good physical shape, but now he looks starved with his jaws smaller and face small. Her son…
It took one tiring, long and so heartbreaking conversation with Renjun, for her to feel so much anguish and guilt for neglecting her son. Despite all that he has done, he was still her son, and if she could protect one and groom him well, then surely she could try again with another. Especially when acknowledging that something was different about him.
“How was the service?” She asks warmly, her smile radiating joy as it covers her sadness.
Donghyuck clears his throat and looks back. Despite it being a welcoming place, he could sense the stares of the people around him and even with a message and word so strong, Donghyuck has never felt so empty before in his own life. His eyes turn back to the ground and he shrugs his shoulders not uttering a word.
This break his mother’s heart. Her son… “Are you hungry?”
Donghyuck sniffs back, blocking out the tears that attempt to fall. He hated how glum and gloomy he’s been feeling and he especially hates how his mother is here. “Uh, I actually have to get going.” Donghyuck doesn’t look to her when he turns around and carries on walking without stopping, even when she calls out his name on repeat. He shuts his ears and even runs- it hurts so much. His heart hurts so much, but he doesn’t allow himself time to grieve as he carries on his walk getting to the back of the shelter where he spent most of his days when he had nothing to do.
He busks on the ground sniffing and wiping his eyes trying to compose himself.
“Donghyuck-”
His head snaps up to the panting woman who holds onto her side bending down trying to catch her breath. “Mum? Did you follow me?” Donghyuck asks, panicked as he moves towards her but doesn’t touch her. “Why did you follow me? You could’ve hurt yourself,” Donghyuck stresses.
“I was trying to talk to you, but you just ran away from me.” She breathes out still hunched and trying to catch her breath. “I wanted…to talk to you, let me catch my breath,”
Donghyuck meekly stands back and watches her. She’s got on a long dress that end by her ankles, it’s black and she has a white cardigan over her dress. Her grey hairs are neatly tucked in a low ponytail. It brings Donghyuck, some form of happiness, when seeing that her health was booming and despite being tired, that she had strength. His only form of happiness was seeing his mum being well. Without him in the picture and with Renjun being by her side she regained the health that he had taken away from her.
“I can’t come back to you mum,” Donghyuck finds himself saying. “I’ll only cause you stress, and you’ll lose weight again, and you’ll get sick again because of me, and i… I don’t want to be responsible for your unhappiness and misery. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be okay…and now that you’re well, I need to find my own way…you don’t need me holding you down,”
These are words to her ears. Hearing her son being so vulnerable causes her to recall of a time when she cradled him in her arms when he was just a child. She vowed that no matter what, she would protect him. Little did she know that his own way of doing things, were for her and not out of selfish reasons. She limps forward and holds her hand out. “Are you hungry?” She asks calmly looking up to him who still had eyes for the ground. “We can talk after you’ve had a meal. Are you going to deny my request to spend time with you?”
Donghyuck visibly hesitates and gulps before shaking his head.
When his mother takes him to a causal diner serving pastry, Donghyuck’s eyes light up when seeing all the meals but his eyes don’t linger long on the food as he focuses on the table. He was so hungry, he only ate once a week during a Thursday when the shelter people would come, but otherwise he lived on water from public fountains.
“What would you like, I’ll pay for it,”
Looking at the menu, Donghyuck looked for the cheapest bun which was a doughnut. “T-the simple doughnut,”
“Are you sure?” His mum asks looking at the menu seeing that it’s the cheapest and most plain. “Come on son, don’t be afraid. I’ve got more than enough,”
Donghyuck chokes up on the word ‘son’ but still shakes his head. “I’m not that hungry though. It’s alright you can eat,”
“The son I knew loved eating,”
“I just don’t want to waste your money. You can use it on something else,”
“I want to use it on you,” She tries to ensure, but the look on Donghyuck’s face showed that was adamant. Even though he didn’t say anything, she could see right through his façade. Something surely changed in her son.
The afternoon he left her house, she couldn’t shake off the guilt she felt for letting him leave. Even though she had a piece of mind without him, it’s the mere fact that he came to her and she turned him away. As his mother, her soul still ached for her son.
“We’ll have the lunch brunch,” She says when the waiter returns. Donghyuck’s ears perk but he says nothing. He waits for his mum to speak, but his nerves get the better of him and he’s legs begin to shake by the heavy silence.
“The pastor told me, that he had seen you a couple of times wandering the streets,” She speaks when noting his anxiety. “He asked me, why I had neglected you.” That makes her pause to take in her son’s fragile and vulnerable state. He looked neglected and deprived of a mother’s love. “His words hit me straight in the heart because he reminded me of all the prayers I made for you. Prayers for you to change, to become my son again, prayers for God to help you find your way. His words, reminded me why I shouldn’t give up on you.”
Those are words to Donghyuck’s ears, they even make him turn red.
“We can start over,” She proposes. “We can put the past behind us, and try again. Are you willing to try again? To rekindle our relationship?”
Donghyuck feels his neck growing hot, but he still manages to clear his throat uttering out a tiny ‘Yeah’ but he’s even afraid of confessing the words out loud just in case it’ll jinx his luck.
“I’m happy to hear that,” She smiles warmly again leaning over the table trying not to push his nervousness. “A position recently opened up in the place where I work. They’re looking for a janitor and security guard, two wedged type of work. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a private kindergarten school and they pay very well. If you’re interested, I can arrange the necessary documents for you, and put in a good word for you. I’m well-respected in the school, so I believe that despite your record, I can put in a good word and it’ll be enough to cover your past,”
- 2 Weeks later.
Donghyuck picks up the heavy green plastic of trash consisting of used but not limited to dirty recyclable materials, and walks out the classroom and onto the hallway that would lead to the playground field where all the different sets of dumpsters would be. After dumping the trash inside and closing the lid he digs into his pocket to his buttoned phone to check the time.
15:29.
Thirty more minutes until he could knock off. Upon walking back to the classroom, his eyes squint into the playground distance to the empty entrance gate- well not so empty. What catches his eye, is some sort of homeless looking guy in dirty black sweatpants and a faded out red coca cola t-shirt with holes, walking towards a child sitting on a bench. Donghyuck sighs and walks towards the entrance. His whole presence alone causes the homeless guy to deviate and part away crossing the street. The vulnerable child isn't even aware that she's been spared from danger as she continues humping on the bench. Getting a bit sexual and seemingly trying to reach her pleasure.
Donghyuck scratches his neck wondering if he should be stopping the child or tell his mum once again. Even though they still weren't on good terms, he promised to be on his best behavior if it meant his mum helping him out. Getting out of prison with a warrant wasn't easy at all, but not as much as it was to get a job of any kind with so many prison charges. Thankfully, Donghyuck's mother came to his rescue. She worked as a day care teacher assistant and their school was in need of a cleaner. It wasn't a luxurious position, but Donghyuck took it just to prove to his mother that he was serious in mending their relationship.
So being a 'janitor' his main responsibilities included getting on the school grounds early, cleaning up classes when students were not inside, disposing of trash and waiting until the school day was over and all the kids went home to clean again. Those were his responsibilities, but it became tough when parents didn't pick up their kids on time at 13.00. Donghyuck hated when parents would fetch their kids late. Reason being, because he'd need to make sure that the school was 100% empty before him to go home. And if it was not 100% empty, then he wasn't allowed to go home.
Getting closer to the bench, Donghyuck notices the child seating down yet rocking her hips back and forth on the bench- almost grinding herself on it. The sight is perverse. However, for Donghyuck, he'd gotten used to only one of the day care students who was consistent in grinding on anything and everything when she was bored. Areum.
Making himself more visible to the young girl, Donghyuck sits on the bench next to her. Her motion stops and she peers to the elder sitting next to her, a bright smile coating her lips. "Hi Mr Sunshine!"
"Hey Kid." Donghyuck greets in a mumbling tone making the girl chuckle. “What?” He asks when looking down at her.
“I have a joke,”
“Go for it,” Donghyuck sighs, already knowing she’d bring another terrible pun joke. She loved doing that for some reason.
Areum giggles and looks up to Donghyuck. “A book fell on my head when I was in the library. I guess I only had myshelf to blame.” She begins giggling. “Did you hear the joke about the little mountain? It was hill-arious!”
“I’ve got one,” Donghyuck finds himself saying. “What do dogs do when they need a break while watching a movie?”
“What?”
“They put it on paws.” Donghyuck shakes his head smirking when the little girl begins dying of laughter. A little back and forth of her terrible puns fills the silent, but after some time she becomes silent. With his hands in his pocket and peering down at the girl who slowly continues to grind herself again, Donghyuck sighs. "Where's your parent?"
The child blinks causing Donghyuck to internally roll his eyes groaning lowly. This job really tested his patience especially when talking with kids.
"Where's the person who's going to fetch you? You mum or dad or guardian?"
"Oh! Mummy's at work." She says nodding her head. "Uncle Jung is going to fetch me."
Donghyuck nods his head allowing the silence to take over. However, his attention draws to the girl once again when she rocks her hips back and forth again. It's not the first time she's done this, however, every time that she does it, Donghyuck feels slightly uncomfortable. He's caught her on this bench all by herself on multiple occasions grinding for pleasure, not only the bench, but sometimes in class as well, on her chair. Donghyuck just wonders what exactly is going on in her head, while she literally dry humps the bench.
"Why are you doing that?" Areum peeks up and blinks her eyes. Donghyuck breathes out. Not wanting to say foreign words or words she's never heard before, he motions with himself and dry humps the bench similar to what she was doing. Areum catches on and smiles.
"It's a secret!" She leers. Despite her words, she seems excited to share the so called secret. And Donghyuck takes advantage of that, throwing his best cunning and charming personality.
"Can I know the secret?" Donghyuck asks with a pretense stunned face, being cunningly friendly. "I thought we're friends?"
"Okay." Areum looks around skeptically. "It's a secret." And laughs. "Uncle Jung said I should tell no one, even if its nice."
Donghyuck's brows furrow. "What's nice?"
Areum laughs covering her mouth frantically. In Donghyuck's head she looks the happiest while trying to be cryptic. She stands up and jumps up happily before her fingers begin to move. Donghyuck's eyes widen when she lifts up her white skirt revealing her yellow panty. He hesitates for a second until he realizes that her hand fumbles and makes its way inside her panty. He's quick to taking her hands out while having a morbidly shocked face.
She giggles, being way too excited. "Let me show you."
The secret? The secret has something to do with an uncle and a child? This only makes Donghyuck widely panic. "Fuck,"
"Oh oh." She covers her mouth in sudden surprise. "Do you also play fuck like Uncle Jung?" Before a smile latches onto her face. A chill runs down Donghyuck's spine. "Uncle Jung said fuck is a game. It's my favorite game." She whispers out.
His eyes widen. In all his years of being in prison, he sorta had the chance to reflect on where he'd like to be once he's out. And right now, talking to this girl feels dangerous. It's a problem. And this is not what he wants at all. If he tells his mum, there might be a high case of him being in a feud with the family of the young girl's parents. At the same time because the daycare already don't like him, he and his mum might both be fired from god knows what- Donghyuck is aware of how much they're waiting for him to slip up. But yet, he can't stop himself from asking. "Can you tell me more about his game? I don't know it."
"Don't tell anyone. Not even Mrs Chittaphon. Or mummy. Only Uncle Jung and I play this game," She nods her head and smile. "It's a nice game. I get to sit on him and ride the horsey!"
Donghyuck's eyes burst out of their sockets. Just as his lips become dry. He clears his throat asking. "Does he remove your clothes?"
She shakes her head. "No." She smiles. That sort of makes Donghyuck cool down again, however he's still in edge by the word horsey and what exactly she rides or what exactly has he shown her. "Can I show you?"
Donghyuck shakes his head with a tight smile, feeling bad for the little girl who seems brainwashed. "It's fine, I don't want to play the game today,"
"Uncle Jung likes to play it after work," Areum smiles. And that literally breaks Donghyuck's heart. Such a small, sweet and innocent little girl being manipulated by a ravaging uncle wolf.
"What does he do in the game?" Donghyuck asks after gaining her trust by sealing his lips shut with an invisible key.
"He tickles me here." Areum points to a part in her skirt and that makes Donghyuck mad. The urge to telling his mum growing. "And does like this," using her middle finger, she surprisingly rubs it on her yellow panty causing Donghyuck to quickly hold her hand.
"Your fucking uncle is raping you." He can't hold himself back when he glares into her eyes while shaking his head.
"My playing uncle is raping?" She asks with a puzzled face. "What's raping?"
Donghyuck sucks in a breath, and with distress he runs his hands through his hair. Before he turns back to Areum his eyes latch onto a black vehicle pulling up on the street. "Shit. Hey sweet cheeks, I need you to listen alright. Don't tell Uncle Jung that you told me, okay?"
She instantly nods his head. "I won't tell him. He'll be angry with me. Don't worry Mr Sunshine, it'll be our little secret."
The black vehicle parks right in front of them, with Donghyuck creating some distance while Areum can't stop giggling at her secret. A man, smartly dressed in a suit with parted hair, steps out the car with a charming smile growing on his lips when Areum jumps from the bench running to him. Donghyuck stands up with his hands stuffing in his pocket.
"Uncle Jung!" Areum cheers hugging him by his legs. Upon hearing the name, Donghyuck's eyes do a double take towards the man. The man squats all the way down with an antagonizing friendly smile, and puckers his lips allowing for Areum to kiss his lips before she giggles like the naive little girl she is. She begins jumping up and down in place while the man stands. "Did you buy the toys?"
"My little puppy, I bought you so many toys for you to enjoy. They're gonna make you feel real good ," Hearing the voice of the older male, his underlying tone of condescension and how much authority he has over the little girl, Donghyuck can't help it when his fists tighten into a ball. His jaw clinches when the male with a charismatic smile grins his way. "She wasn't a bother was she?"
Donghyuck's jaw locks and he looks away, only making Jaehyun continue as if he didn't get ignored.
"Either way, thanks for keeping her company. "
Placing Areum in the backseat and placing her bag in the boot, the man known as Uncle Jung gets into his driver's seat and begins driving away. Donghyuck can only stand with his fists balled up as he watches the car stride away. In his head, although the situation was sickening, he already told himself he wouldn't get involved. His mum's reputation, as well as his own reputation was on the line.
"Poor girl." Donghyuck sighs walking back in the school to lock it up.
"Jaehyun, thank you so much for looking after her," Yezi smiles giving her boyfriend, Jaehyun, a peck on his lips looking up into his eyes while picking up Areum from the floor and positioning her on her hip. "I hope she wasn't a bother,"
"She's never a bother to me," Jaehyun smiles placing his finger over his lip causing Areum to giggle hiding her face in her mother's neck.
"Did you have fun baby?" Yezi asks with a dashing smile making Areum cheerfully nod her head.
"Yes mummy! Uncle Jung and I played together!"
"Yes we did. She's so obedient," Jaehyun has a proud smile looking at the little girl in her mummy's arms, before he looks back to her mummy. "Are you sure you don't want her to spend the night with me while you're on your family dinner? I don't mind, it's Friday."
"I really wish I could leave her with you, but my sister's coming for the first time in such a long. She'd really love to see Areum,"
"That's alright, my darling," Jaehyun pets on Areum's head puckering his lips waiting for her to place her lips on him and she does.
At first for Yezi it used to be weird that Areum allowed for Jaehyun to do that when she was very conservative with people, but after some time and after getting used to it, she found it adorable how Areum opened up to Jaehyun in so many ways. "Have fun alright my little puppy,"
"Okay Uncle Jung," Areum grins and waves her hand. “Bye-bye uncle Jung,"
"Bye puppy,"
"Mummy is your sister really coming?" Areum asks with hopeful eyes, causing Yezi to frantically nod her head. "I can't wait to see her! I have a joke for her?”
“Let me hear it,” Yezi laughs slightly while walking.
“What do dogs do when they need a break while watching a movie? They put it on paws.” Areum begins laughing hard when her mum laughs as well.
“That’s a good one,”
“Mummy are you happy?" Areum asks.
Yezi laughs and places Areum down so they can hold hands and walk in the house. “I’m so so happy,”
18:50
"How do I look?" Jeno asks for the upteenth time, nervously adjusting his long sleeved shirt into his fine ironed black suit pants. He clears his throat testing out his voice with the syllable 'ah'. Dae, standing in front of him with her hands on his shoulders, peers into his wandering eyes waiting for him to relax. "How do I look? Do I look good?"
"You keep asking me the same question?" She lightly smiles, finding his whole nervous state funny.
"That's because you haven't answered me," Jeno inhales and exhales.
"Well, the first time I said you look good, the second time I said you look charming, and the third time I said you look handsome, the fourth time I said you look spot on, and for the tenth time, I said you look, just fine babe." Dae ends up holding onto his fidgeting hands, giving her best smile radiating joy as she leans in close and embraces her lips upon his. Jeno freezes, yet he meekly indulges into the kiss. After a minute, she parts from him. "Baby, relax. It’ll all be alright."
He takes in a deep breath holding onto Dae's waist as he closes his eyes. Taking in another breath, he tries to calm down his nerves. Feeling Dae's hands against his chest, he feels reassured that nothing will happen today, because she is with him. “You look beautiful as always, but tonight you look really happy. I’m happy that you’re sharing this happiness with me,”
After several years- specifically 3 years of them dating, and of them living together and encouraging each other- Dae's father had finally had a change of heart in wanting to see and reunite with his daughter again, and meet the man she chose to love.
Although it happened about 5 years ago, the sight was deeply plunged into Dae's father, Zhong Chenle's mind. It's something that made him feel guilty and responsible for his children’s sufferings. The works of his hands, enclosed and trapped his daughters inside of a hell hole. But as years progressed, and Yezi's child, Areum, grew, he found his stone cold hateful heart slowly melt. The little baby girl looked so much like Dae. Despite being a child of a rapist, she inherited features of the family. Chenle couldn't help but warm up to the little girl whenever she called him 'gwanpa'. With his heart melting by the innocence of the child, he slowly got the strength to look his daughter Yezi in the eye and talk to her. The first few days were tough, as she had been longing and praying for her dad to finally notice her, but eventually she took the same pace as him and slowly they rekindled their relationship of father and last born. And this evening, Chenle was ready to open up his heart again, for his eldest daughter Dae and her new...boyfriend.
The first born, the first daughter of his family, the daughter which always shared her worries and joy with utmost elevation to her father, his first love ever since his ex-wife walked out on him. He wanted to reconnect with her, and never let her go again- even though she chose the path that she was on, he wanted to stand by her and at least try to be in her life again.
So as the sun sets and Chungdae walks around the dining room table adjusting the utensils and making sure the table was set and ready to eat, Chenle buttons up his traditional outfit and fixes his hair in the mirror.
Areum bounces around the room playing with the little dog Daegul, and from time to time looks up to her grandfather. "Gwanpa?"
"Yes my little bean," Chenle responds carefully pressing his hands down his clothes.
"You look nice." Her smile enlightens on her face when he turns around with a smile and picks her up.
"What did I tell you about that word ‘nice’?”
Areum giggles and stands straight. “Nice is dead. Gwanpa you look smart, and rich!” She cheers causing Chenle to smirk with pride.
“Thank you, my little bean." He tickles her stomach. "You don’t look too bad yourself, you look like a royal queen going to a ball,"
"Thank you gwanpa! Gwanpa I have a joke I want to tell mummy’s sister." She circles her hands around her grandfather’s neck as he carries her outside his room and down the stairs.
“She can’t take jokes easily,” Chenle suppresses a laugh when remembering how bad his daughter’s jokes used to be.
After the whole incident that went down and his house burning up, he made arrangements and building construction started again before he instantly moved from the secluded area and settled into a stronghold of fortification that was suitable for his status- in other words, he moved far away into a house of more wealth and power. Just like his previous home, it was situated on a barricaded hill, however instead of it being guarded within a residential gate, he hired his own secretary to look over the massive barricaded land that enclosed his mansion.
So as Jeno and Dae are driving along the road following the GPS signal of the new address of the Zhong Chenle residence, Dae instantly feels little, very tiny when coming to see her father. All that her father was able to achieve in his life time, all his inheritance, fortune, wealthy, position, status, level, money, all of it belonged to only him. A great man, with great power and authority.
"You have reached your destination." The GPS lady says.
Both Jeno and Dae's eyes are enlarged, dazzled and awestruck by the large high-end white concrete border building. "T-this is the house?" Jeno meekly asks. "Fuck me. We literally drove parallel to this wall and you're telling me, that this is the place?"
"There's the gate there," Dae notices the gate a distance away.
Jeno starts his little polished wagon and drives forward to the black high gates. He washed his car and polished it so many times, and even took it to the car wash and had it washed more than 5 times, all so that he could impress Dae's father and have him see himself as a suitable partner of his daughter. But now driving with his red wagon towards the gate, he feels worthless and poor all over again. Who did he think he had become? Just because he loved a rich girl and a rich girl loved him back- didn't make him rich all of a sudden. He was still a poor boy from nowhere.
Dae, seeing the distraught and down casted look shadow on Jeno's face, sets her hand on his thigh that nervously bounced up and down. He takes in a deep breath and presses his lips together when reaching the gate. The gate is completely black and doesn't give any view of what's inside.
Looking at the white wall that has a little black tinted window view, Jeno rolls down his window and awaits for the tinted window to open up. He sticks out his hand and presses on the little poll that had a little intercom.
"Hello?"
No response. Upon waiting for a response Jeno turns to Dae after a while. "Should I knock on the window?"
"No, wait, let me try and send my sister a message and see what we should do," Dae says, bringing out her phone and texts Yezi for the first time in 5 years, stating that she's outside. Yezi responds in a heartbeat making Dae feel much more relieved about there being no hard feelings between her and her family. No longer feeling awkward for being outside for more than 5 minutes. "Yezi says we should tell him our names and that we were invited by Mr Zhong."
"Alright," Jeno nods his head and takes a deep breath. "I suddenly don't feel like wanting to see your family,"
"Me too," Dae replies honestly chuckling lightly.
Living with Jeno, in his world, has really casted some kind of spell on her. From recovering from her overdose and intake of drugs, to being thankful for the hospitality she received from Jeno… the beauty of enjoying life at the expense of very little, is something she grew into. For so long, being away from a prestigious lifestyle, she got to appreciate and adore the simplicity of everything (even though she really had to adjust to many things, she enjoyed the simpler life). "I feel so small,"
Jeno opens up his palm looking into Dae's eyes with assurance. Dae places her tiny hand in his and he lightly squeezes it. They sit silently simply looking at the daunting gates of riches in which resides Dae's family.
"You know," Jeno gently speaks. "On that night, the night Mark, Haechan, Renjun and I invaded your house, we were actually sitting outside, in the car. We came when the sun was slightly still in the sky. We sat outside and watched your house as the sunset over it..."
Dae listens. To think that of all people to save her, Jeno would be the one who helped her escape a deadly fate only made her appreciate the good that was hidden in the rough. As much as she'd like to forget that horrible incident, she knew just how much more guilt Jeno felt every time he brought it up. It still kept him up, and as much as you wanted to heal from the night, Jeno as well wanted to heal from everything he had done that night. And it’s in moments like these when he speaks, you listen and allow him his moment to reflect, just as he allowed you to freely use him as much as you wanted so that you could heal. As he speaks, even though Dae has told him countless of times that she forgives him, Dae knows that every ounce of him wants to move on and feel forgiven. So she quietly sits, and listens. If he was going to forgive himself, she needed to always listen.
"The house, your house...was everything my brother and I always wanted. It was a palace, a fortress, four stories high, huge balconies, large veranda and just so homely. It was modern and even the air itself was something I'd never breathed in before. It was a home we've never had before." Jeno acknowledges. "I just wanted to see how it looked inside. I really wanted to know how the inside of a rich house looked like." Dae turns her head to him, when feeling his eyes on her. She moves between his left and right eye and he smiles. "You left a house that had more than 5 massive rooms, 2 spaciously large bathrooms and enormous backyards to literally cramp up with me in a one-bedroom apartment?"
"Spaciously is not a word and yes," Dae smiles lightly. "I left it all because it was all just material,"
Dae softly says smiling when Jeno leans closer and plants a kiss on her forehead. "Do you want something like this? Do you want materials again? Because I am promise you that I'll-"
"I only want you Jeno," She smiles when whispering softly. "I need you more than anything to survive in this world that was cruel to me. You're my home, and I really mean that. No materials on his earth can replace a soul that saved another soul,"
This time their breathing is in sync when they both embrace in a warm kiss, breathing in and out together allowing this moment to settle in. With their hands still clasped together as Jeno looks out his window to tell the guard who they are he’s stunned when the black metallic gates crank open in a slow manner and Jeno's head snaps to Dae who has her eyes on the road ahead. The gate is wide open with another path to follow, but Dae and Jeno are still in shock.
Jeno turns his head when a voice comes from the intercom. "Please move your vehicle inside the premises, Miss Yezi is waiting by the house."
“Miss Yezi?” Dae has a playful smile on her face. “Wow. I bet you she’s been treated like a princess,”
Jeno snickers while slowly driving his car past the gate and into the premises. The first thing that the couple takes note of, are the lights that are shining down on the pathway. Jeno and Dae's eyes are widely opened and are all over the large sets of trees that enclose the drive way- the long drive way with various gardened plants and flowers. It's absolutely breath taking watching the garden bloom with so much colors of wealth prosperity. In between the curvy path on the driveway, Dae's eyes look out by Jeno's side of his window to the slight view of the mansion that they were soon gonna get inside of.
Finally driving into one straight path, their view gets sidetrack by the large fountain statue of two angles pouring out water. Not only the fountain, but after passing another set of black gates that are already opened and rounding their car past the fountain, the lavish sight of the ever green garden with white little flowers enclose the garden really making the mansion seem like a heavenly fortress.
The houses theme is white. There are high pillars towards the front entrance of the house as well as arched pillars on each side that lead to different roads. Behind the pillars stand 3 large structures of the fortified mansion. The middle portion is the largest with a high double deck structure where all the windows are top to ceiling and are covered with gossamer curtains. The side building structures that are still connected to the middle portion are identical in terms of design and the layers of floors.
Stopping the car right by the side of the path, Jeno's mouth hangs open, not closing at the slightest. "At this point, your dad is trying to show off,"
"You don't say," Dae is marveled by the sight, that she doesn't notice her sister who walks down the lit up stairs heading towards their car.
Yezi's eyebrows furrow when neither of the people in the car get out. She stands there for a bit before walking towards the passenger’s door and knocking twice on the window- knocking both Jeno and Dae back to their senses.
Dae removes the seatbelt and laughs lightly. "This is it,"
"This is it," Jeno nervously says. "Best of luck to us,"
"We need that," Dae leans close to her boyfriend placing a light peck on his lips before opening up her door.
"Finally." Yezi states with a snickering laugh and a smile that eagerly begins to grow. "What was taking you guys so long? After I sent the message and you didn't come right in, I had to check with the gateman and he said the car was just there. But of course knowing you and your ever stubborn behavior, I knew you wouldn't tell the gateman anything,"
"Why should I? I'm my father's daughter, I don't need to introduce myself as a guest," Dae jokes being happy to see her sister. The tears sit on the brim of her eyes, and just like Yezi they instantly embrace each other in a tight hug. Yezi whimpers and holds even tighter.
“Dae,” She sniffs and can’t stop the tears from pouring out. “You look so good, I’m so happy to see and your beautiful eyebrows and hair being a beautiful black,” This only makes Dae laugh.
“Don’t remind me of those times,” Dae can’t stop laughing when hugging her sister. “Seeing you, seeing this house, dad outdid himself this time in making me feel bad,"
"Oh please, don't fuel up his ego," Yezi chortles shaking her head but still holding tightly onto Dae with her eyes closed. "He barely leaves the house now,"
Dae laughs at that patting Yezi's back. "Your poor freedom is gone,"
"Oh please, I can leave the house whenever I want," Yezi jokes out laughing with Dae. "I just need to take a bodyguard with me,"
"Bodyguard?" Dae's eyes widen and leans her head back still enclosing her sister in the hug. "Fuck, things have changed,"
"Language." Yezi's eyes widen. "We now refrain from cursing, I don't want my little girl latching onto that stuff,"
"Ncawww, Areum, right?" Dae squeals getting into the hug again as they both scream like little kids. "I can't believe I finally get to see her,"
"Dae! You have no idea how much I've missed this, missed us,"
Dae leans her head back with loving eyes looking into her sister’s teary eyes. "Don't cry, if you cry you know my tears will flow out as well,"
"I know, but I can't help it," Yezi chuckles before sneakily landing a kiss over her sister’s lips. Dae is stunned for a whole minute before laughing out and squeezing Yezi into a greater hug again. After a minute of laughing and saying out their 'I love you', they finally part and Yezi's eyes go down her sister’s attire. "Oh my soul you don’t know how amazed I am by your eyebrows and your hair, and your body and your health! You look nourished and healthy and soo soo good! My sister is finally back!"
Complementing Dae's healthy figure, her black hair in curly waves tucked behind her ear to show off her twinkling earrings, stunning legs in a white tight dress that ends mid-thigh, matched together with a black long sleeved turtle neck inside, white daring heels and finally a tiny white purse.
Dae's hand goes down her dress and she models for Yezi with a joking tone. "I know, I know, I tried," Dae laughs acknowledging her sister and nodding her head. Jeno can only stand by his car smiling at how gorgeous Dae looks. This was the Dae that he always admired, and now that she recovered she looked as stunning as ever.
"I'm not even one to look at, you're wearing designer? Vera Wang?" Dae's eyes marvel at the designer black sleeveless dress that showed off her toned arms and a bit of her belly. And finally the black see-through flowing skirt that has a little tight black skirt inside and is long yet has a long slit up to her thigh.
Yezi also playfully models out and flips her hair. "I knew my sister was coming today, so I had to dress to impress," Yezi laughs.
“You killed it!” Dae encourages with sass making Yezi laugh.
“No you killed it!”
“I just wish I was somebody else to admire how we both killed it,” Dae flips her hair dramatically before Yezi holds onto her sister’s hand and leading her forward.
"Wait till you-"
Dae grips onto Yezi's hand tightly before motioning back to Jeno who is calmly standing like a doorman. When noticing the eyes of the girls on him, he quickly bows his head nervously, making Dae smile brightly. “My person here inspired me to kill it. Come on baby,” Dae marvels and walks to him bravely intertwining their hands. “This is my sister, Yezi,”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Yezi,” Jeno bows again maintaining a positive smile.
"Oh, hi," Yezi's tone simmers down but she tries to maintain the forced fake smile on her face. While Chenle was ready to give Jeno a chance, Yezi wasn't too fond of allowing her sister to be with a lowlife and someone who was involved in keeping them hostage. But aside that, she bows her head as well. "Wow you guys are matching." She takes in the view of Jeno's elegant face that comes out dashingly with his styled and parted hair that gives off a sense of superiority. His style of clothing consists of a white buttoned down long sleeved shirt and black suit pants with his polished dress shoes, and Yezi notes how he's standing and how humble he looks. He can try to look like them as much as he wants, but Yezi still had bitter feelings. "Well, welcome. Come on in," She smiles and stretches her hand out to the stairs leading to the mansion and eventually the people inside, that are awaiting them.
Dae stands close to Jeno, abandoning Yezi's hand to securely wrap it around Jeno's bicep. "Babe, you've got this. Just relax okay,"
When dressing up for the occasion, he thought he went overboard with the dress pants as he never wore suits too much- but seeing how Dae followed his lead and decided to dress up as well, he praises the heavens that they didn't second guess their outfit. What would've happened if they dressed in normal clothes?
Climbing up the lit up stairs together, Jeno and Dae are finally in front of the door.
The double doors are wide open and upon entering into the new ambiance of the home and removing their shoes, replacing them with the white slippers available, Jeno rubs his sweaty hands over his black pants and swallows a clump of saliva in his throat to give it some moisture. He felt like he was going to die, by the pace his heart was beating.
"Babe, you've got this," Dae encourages and holds onto the sides of his face massaging his neck. Jeno nods his head, suddenly feeling selfish. Here Dae was, giving him some air and encouragement, even though she's the one who walked out on her family and was also seeing them for the first time after years.
"You too," He holds onto her hands on his neck and smiles lightly.
Yezi watches from afar, seeing how strangely, adorable they both looked. Her sister, who she never thought could fall in love with someone who had no money, is suddenly looking up into the eyes of her lover with so much care. And the lover, Jeno, who Yezi once thought was just a sick criminal, looks like a little cute boy under the embrace of his mother. Even though she doesn't say it, and refuses to acknowledge it, deep down, they look happy and peaceful together.
Walking over to Yezi with their hands together, Yezi leads them in the house and Jeno has to keep himself from ogling at the house for too long. After passing a long corridor and walking into the entrance of the living room, Jeno's heart stops beating.
In the living room, Chenle and Chungdae stand side by side, with little Areum clinging to her grandmother's hand. When entering the living room, the first face that lights up instantly is Chungdae when seeing her gracious step-daughter who she loved the most. Her teeth are bright and so inviting that Jeno feels at peace when seeing a friendly face. Chenle on the other hand looks composed and modest- but his face morphs into shock when both Jeno and Dae get on their knees and bow down completely with their heads touching the floor.
He and Chungdae share eyes of surprise. Chenle tries not to laugh maintaining a sincere face again, just as Chungdae speaks up. "Oh, much appreciated," She says as Jeno stands and helps Dae up on her feet. The loving eyes from Chungdae and the warm smile, makes Dae want to cry by how familiar her mother's face was.
"Hi mum," Her own smile brightens up her face as she bows again, this time her head lowers slightly. Her mother is dressed in an elegant traditional styled hambok, and Dae's afraid to wrinkle or mess the dress, but when Chungdae steps forward with loving open arms and embraces Dae- Dae's can't help but wrap her arms tightly around her mother's frame "Mum," she lightly cries, laughing a little when her mother kisses her ear.
"My sweet," Breaking up the hug, Chungdae squeezes Dae's cheek and let's her go before looking to Jeno.
Jeno awaits for the smile to wither from her face, but is surprised when it's still there. "Good afternoon madam," Jeno bows down in a 90-degree angle, thinking that when he looks up her smile would've disappeared, however, when it's still on her face, he's completely stunned.
"Welcome," Chungdae bows her head as well patting his shoulder. "And you can call me, Mrs Chungdae, you're welcome here. It's good to finally see the both of you,"
Chungdae steps back and turns to Chenle. Dae and Jeno fix their positions to look at Chenle. Dae is hesitant, when looking into her dad's eyes, but regardless still tries to do so. Her smile is shaking and all she feels like doing is crying. The last time she saw her dad, a lot of harsh words were exchanged- she was not even in the right state of mind for most of those times. Her smile is rocky and her eyes blur up with tears that she can't even look at her father anymore, she hangs her head in shame. Jeno from the side, feels his heart wear down when watching her silently break down in front of her dad. He breaths in and gently slides his fingers in her hand before squeezing it, for comfort and strength.
He then turns to Chenle, who still has his somber eyes on his daughter. "Good afternoon sir. Thank you for your invitation. For allowing your daughter to bring me here." Jeno bows down in a 90-degree angle humbling himself completely. Dae follows as well, bowing down with her eyes closed to maintain herself. Standing up straight again, Dae clears her throat.
"Hi dad. Thank you..." She softly speaks and her voice shakes again not being able to meet his eyes and thus bows down again- and Jeno willingly follows. "Thank you for your invitation. And I'm so sorry for everything I've done. Please can you forgive me, for all the words I’ve said, the stress I caused you and mum, the hate I spread in the house, please forgive me dad. I truly apologize for all that I’ve done, and I beg you to forgive. I said a lot of things to hurt you, but I didn’t mean any of them and I’m sorry for how I left. I’m sorry dad."
"My daughter," Chenle meekly raises his hand laying it on his daughter's head. Feeling his hand on her head, she squeezes her eyes shut to not break down again. Chenle's face is holding back so much on emotions, but it slips out when he feels the head of his daughter. "I forgive you, please don't cry. You know I don't like it when I see you cry,"
"Thank you, for this invitation," Dae stands up straight again with a smile on her face and her eyes still watery. Chenle's hand retreats but he’s taken aback by the wave of emotions that pass over him when Dae engulfs him in a hug so dear and deep. Chenle can’t resist and sets his arms over her shoulders in protection like he had always done. Finally, his daughter has returned.
Smiling when feeling her dad’s arms around, she nuzzle’s her head a little more on his chest, before she separates from him and bows her head down again. Chenle’s face is glowing with pride and excitement and he turns to Jeno who also stands straight. Chenle bows his head quietly acknowledging Jeno.
"My name is Zhong Chenle, you can call me Mr Zhong." Chenle addresses Jeno in a fluid tone, with no harshness or strictness, simple and calm. "What's your name?"
Jeno bows lightly. "Thank you Mr Zhong. My name is Lee Jeno,"
The name makes Chenle tense but he nods his head. If his daughter chose him, then he’d need to get down to the bottom of it and see why. It was up to Chenle to see how serious they were. "It's a pleasure to meet you Lee Jeno," Chenle greets and turns his head to the side, down to the little girl who just looked up with an erratic smile. "This little bean right here is Zhong Areum,"
Chenle introduces them to Yezi's daughter, making Yezi smile. Ever since Areum was born, Chenle refused for the baby to have his surname. So seeing the love traverse from him to her daughter, a flow of content joy washes over her.
"Hi mummy’s sister!" Areum chirpily greets, brightly before shyly leaning on her grandfather when Dae puffs her cheeks in delight. Chenle picks her up patting her back telling her to carry on. She waves her hand to both Jeno and Dae who wave back with big smiles.
"Areum, this is Dae, your aunty," Chenle speaks in a soft cradling voice making Chungdae laugh. "And this is Mr Lee, your aunty friend,"
Jeno doesn’t feel any jab from Chenle referring to him as a friend, but Dae does. She was hoping that her dad wouldn’t diminish Jeno into that position.
"Areum what do we do when we greet people?" Chungdae questions calmly watching Areum.
"Gwanpa, can you put me down, so I can greet?" Areum asks cutely with big eyes. Chenle sets her down patting her head.
"Of course, my little bean,"
Areum places both her hands over her stomach and dress and bows down. "Hello Miss Dae and Mr..." she quickly looks up and looks to her grandfather.
"Mr Jeno," He assists patting her head again as she returns to bowing.
"Hello Mrs Dae and Mr Jeno." She finishes her bow and does a little curtsey with her dress gaining an applaud from Chungdae, Yezi and Dae- automatically making Jeno clap his hands. In his head all he can think of is how she looks like Dae…but as a little girl. “I have a funny joke, what does a clock do when it's hungry?”
“What?” Dae smiles.
“It goes back four seconds?” Jeno asks but gets surprised when Areum begins laughing and giggling suggesting that it’s correct. That makes the family clap again, making Jeno shake his head with a little smile on his face. Chenle coo's in a baby voice.
"Aigoo, my little bean sprout is all grown up," He picks her up again with a dashing smile, before turning to Jeno and Dae. "Make yourselves comfortable, you can follow me to the dining room,"
Jeno turns to Dae squeezing her hand tighter. His nerves were still high, but upon the warm welcome and the tension sliding down because of the little baby girl, Jeno feels slightly relaxed. "This is it,"
Dae nods her head, following behind Chungdae and Yezi, who follow behind Chenle who is still carrying Areum and whispering into her grandfather's ears. "Gwanpa, is that really really mummy's sister?"
Chenle nods his head with a smile. "Yes, she’s your mummy's sister,”
"Gwanpa, if I’m a queen would that make her a princess? I wanna make her a queen because she looks nice- beautiful,” Areum corrects herself before charmingly complimenting Dae. “Why does she look beautiful?”
"Because she's my daughter," Chenle cackles a little, he never got tired of the endless questions that left her mouth or how much of a chatterbox she was. It's moments like these, where he hopes that his little granddaughter, didn't inherit any bad or foul manners from the savage rapist. She was such a passionate young and vibrant soul that Chenle easily found intriguing and alluring.
“Gwanpa, Mr Jeno looks like a prince, I think he likes her a lot and wants to become a King,”
"You should ask him if he wants to be a king," he pats her nose still answering to her questions, meanwhile thinking of all the questions he wanted to ask Jeno.
"Do you think daddy will go hard on Dae and him?" Yezi asks calmly to her mother.
"Let's hope not," Chungdae replies. "I feel like he might want to embarrass him a bit. He kept talking about that nonstop all through the night, but he did also mention how he wants to reunite with Dae again,"
Yezi groans. "Fingers crossed, it doesn't get awkward."
Meanwhile Jeno holds onto Dae's hand like he's on life support. Dae wraps her fingers tightly against his as well. "No matter how intense it gets, just answer honestly. My dad will try everything he can to belittle you, but remember what I said at home, don't let him break your spirit, he hasn't walked a mile in your shoes, so don't mind if he doesn't understand." She says, words that always made Jeno feel more drawn to her.
The dining room is large, and has an extremely large round circular table, with various of decorations and platters of food on a rotating stand. Areum waves her hand to her mum as one of the servants walks away with her. Jeno and Dae, wait for the family members to take a seat before finding themselves next to each other and sitting. Chenle acknowledges that and is impressed.
Dae smiles secretly, knowing that her dad loved order and discipline. And if Jeno could at least show that he was capable and worthy to dine with him, then Chenle would ease up a bit on him. He simply wanted to see how well-mannered the boy was, since he was groomed by misfortune, Chenle wanted to test out how well he could be for his daughter.
Yezi is seated on the right of her father, while Chungdae is seated on the left of her husband and Jeno and Dae sit next to each other- being in Chenle's direct eyes vision. "Shall we eat?" Chenle asks and they all take in their utensils ready to feast.
As the rounding table makes the rounds and the servants walk around the table adding little side dishes here and there, Jeno feels much more overwhelmed then starved. From the many utensils on the table, to the little plates the servants put with tiny looking leaves, Jeno places his hand underneath the table lightly placing it over Dae's leg.
She turns her head to him, seeing him panic. Calmly she leans in and begins explaining that he can eat whatever, which plates he has to put the food in and which plates he dumbs the bones and what's not. Her whispered words of encouragement don't go unnoticed by anyone at the table, especially Chenle who picks up his chopsticks and watches the pair while he eats. Much to his distaste Jeno snickers and Dae does so as well- he ignores it and clears his throat gaining their attention.
"Dae," Chenle starts.
Chungdae nervously turns to Chenle. His first target. Dae looks up and adjusts her sitting position before smiling. "Yes, dad,"
For some reason, Chenle's heart feels a little touched when hearing her say the word dad. It's been a while, a really long while. “It’s wonderful seeing you in strong health. For how long have you been clean?”
Dae clears her throat with a little smile. “2 years now.”
“Rehab or self-rehabilitation?”
Dae answers honestly. “Self-rehabilitation. Actually, the night I left home and went clubbing, I was hit by a car,” This causes all of them to look at her in worry. “I, uh. I broke some ribs and nearly lost my life because I barely had enough blood in my body. A blood transfusion was done, and when I woke up… I felt as though, a second chance of life has been given to me,”
Chenle’s heart aches hearing the story. “Why didn’t you come home after that?”
Dae briefly looks to Jeno, who offers a somber smile before rubbing her thigh. “I didn’t want to live my life like before. I felt trapped, and it wasn’t because of you,” Dae immediately clears up, holding onto Jeno’s hand. “I just, wanted to live alone for a bit.”
“A bit turned into years,” Chungdae speaks sadly but a smile regains on her face. “May I ask you this, this blood transfusion you did that saved your life, was it the young man’s blood?”
Dae nods her head with a smile. “He’s the one who helped me that night. Paid the bills, gave me blood, offered me a place to stay, he was always by my side,”
The warm tone settles upon Chungdae seeing her child look so bright and happy. “Well thank you Mr Lee for that. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been able to see our beautiful girl.” Chungdae smiles. “Please enjoy the food,”
Once again, everyone begins eating in a calm atmosphere. Jeno has never eaten so slow, as well as tiny bites in his whole life, however seeing everyone eat in a slow and paced manner, Jeno adjusts himself. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Dae as she snickers here and there covering it with a little cough.
Subsiding his friendly character, Chenle has his eyes on Dae who constantly looks to Jeno. "Dae,”
“Yes?” She instantly looks away from Jeno and to her dad feeling caught. She gulps, just as Chenle prepares himself.
“I’ve tried deviating from my culture merely because I didn’t want my daughters to be bounded by tradition. I’ve given you a good life, good education and have paved a way for a future that you can maintain. The family business of architecture as well as our lifestyle, you left it all for your own self satisfying pleasure because you felt ‘trapped’. I’m assuming you have a lot to showcase for your disobedience. Have you made a name for yourself by walking over our tradition?" The question alone brings Jeno into a front line of defense. Even though Chenle was her dad, Jeno wouldn't allow her dad to walk over how hard she had worked to get to where she was now. She worked extremely hard and Jeno was ready to defend. Unconsciously. However, Chenle unaware of the set eyes on him, continues on. "How's that going? What do you do?"
Dae feels heavy by the sharp arrow that was aimed for her heart by his words. “First of all, I am grateful for all the opportunities I was able to get while being here. Second of all, I never intended to disobey you dad. But I needed to do it for a clear mindset in what I wanted to do, in where my heart felt good. And lastly, I'm a Junior Editor."
"Editor? Junior?" Chenle poses in disbelief. "That's in the writing field. Meaning you don't get paid much, as for junior, you probably don't do much. What do you write about?"
Dae breaths in and nods her head looking up to her father. "I write articles on and for the youths of today and the struggles they face."
"That's like freelancing work." Chenle sighs out trying not to make it a big deal, but he's disappointed. His daughter. His first daughter scrapping by. He glances at Jeno. "And you Mr Lee. What do you do?" Chenle slurps on the fresh vegetable in a bowl, looking already bored.
"Photography."
"Wow, another freelancer." Chenle sounds dishonored much more then disappointed, and he continues to eat his dish of food. Yezi savagely tries to hold in her laugh replacing it with a cough and quickly looking down when Chungdae shoots her a glare. The couple of Dae and Jeno briefly glance to each other in hesitancy, but regardless they eat.
Just as Chenle is about to say something else, Dae along with everybody else get surprised by Jeno's voice. "You know Mr Zhong, not to be rude, and I say this with 'respect'-" only Dae catches on to his mocking tone, and gets worried for him. "Since you brought up your culture and tradition, according to the Zhong's line of history as well as your own private company's humble beginnings, small beginnings was were you started. So pardon me if this comes out rude, but truly I don't think you've got any right to be pissed off, you also left your family to please your own self satisfying pleasure-"
Dae's eyes widen and she places her hand over his thigh. "Jeno-"
But nonetheless Jeno still continues to speak. "To be pissed off at her career would mean neglecting her small beginnings. I don’t know much about your family, but what I do know is that your family’s legacy only grew into millions of because of you. What if Dae’s small beginnings allow her to reach your peak-"
"Comparing my family's legacy and personal company with Dae's quote on quote small beginnings sounds radically obscure. Do you even know who I am? My small beginnings lasted within a year, and I've been making millions ever since. Dae's small beginnings are small beginnings on a scale of failure," Chenle starts while setting his dish down, taking the next set of food while Chungdae grumpily adds some soup for him. She didn't like how his words sounded too harsh. Meanwhile Yezi has wide eyes glancing with a shocked face at her dad and then Jeno. “So tell me Mr Lee-”
Jeno breaths out, feeling Dae sinking in shame when she looks at her food and quietly eats. "You're talking about me as if I'm not here," She mumbles. “And my small beginnings aren’t on a scale of failure, you don’t know how hard I work-”
"Your lover is the one who started with the comparisons and small beginnings. You want to be mad at the truth? Suck it up and continue to embark on your sma-"
"Honey." Chungdae warns looking at him.
Chenle sighs. He nods his head whilst eating as if he's not having the conversation. "Do you believe that she'll make it big in her field Mr Lee?"
"I believe in her."
"I didn't ask if you believe in her. Because I also believe in her. And I much more believe she has a brighter career elsewhere, but what's important now is do you believe that she'll make it big in her field?"
"Yes-"
"Dae who never ever pays attention to the news, the same girl who barely gives an ear to those less 'fortunate' then her? My daughter? That same daughter who would never be interested in anything if it wasn't about her? The same daughter who got involved in hardcore drugs- that same girl caring for people seems unusual. A journalist? On top of that a youth journalist? Youth? Smart mouths with foul brains, those youth? Those same youth? Maybe she gives you a speck of patience, but I know my daughter. Does she really love what she does or is it just some passing want from feeling trapped? Does she have tolerance and patience for others? For you? My daughter wants to do journalism? That doesn't make sense to me," Chenle states out nonchalantly yet sternly. "I've seen her writing. And although phenomenal, she'd need a spark of light in her to empathize with youths. Regardless of what you say, I know my daughter much more then you. I know she's merciful, but in the field of journalism, it'll be used against her. With her temper, she'll easily get frustrated and allow for anyone to walk over her. I can't see, or even bare my daughter within a career where she constantly has to fight,"
Dae's stunned by his words. Never ever had he ever told her why he refused for her to be a journalist, he simply had a strong distaste towards any career that had a lack of funds. "Dream crusher much dad?" Dae chuckles sadly to cover up the pain.
"Dae, are those even dreams? To waste yourself away behind a screen writing for others? Dae. I'm…” Chenle refrains from using the words disappointed, but he’s already hinting at it. “I’m trying to understand. Why- why, why a journalist?"
Dae looks up to her dad in disbelief. "Because I’m a spoilt rich girl who’s gone through an experience that fucking changed my life forever-"
"Language Dae." Chungdae softly peeps being uncomfortable by all the slurs.
Dae stops and takes a deep breath. "I’m saying the truth of my life to reach people in dark-"
"Truth?" Chenle scoffs. "In the world we live in? Truth and people don't go together, because this world loves to be blinded. It’s why the rich are rich and the poor are poor, those who have eyes don’t help those who can’t see. Today a journalist would rather break an untrue story and say an apology later, they could break thousands of hearts, but one apology and everyone forgets. You're telling me you haven't seen those cases?"
"I've noticed that lately."
"You can spend years putting together a story to help someone see the light, only for some toddler with a social media account to just tweet it out, with low grammatical words. As for professional objectivity, try maintaining that while competing against teens dancing at the news, or on TikTok and what not, and in the rare case let's say you do get a real story, you will be backlashed because all you did was your job. The truth hurts and rubs on people the wrong way."
"So what are you saying dad?" She asks seriously trying not to be discouraged. Jeno, places his hand on Dae's thigh, running his hand up and down as a way to calm her down.
"I'm saying." Chenle stops setting up his bowl to look at his daughter. "As my daughter, it's really my desire that if there is anything else you see yourself doing, do that instead." Chenle ends the discussion without much say, getting his next bowl. "You’re smart and if you want people to see the light, use your intelligence to-”
"Mr Zhong, I really do apologize if I'm being rude," Jeno interrupts not being able to be calm anymore, especially after noticing Dae's sagged shoulders. Truly Mr Zhong was a businessman with ideals and head on strong facts. However, that could never beat how much effort and change that Dae has put in. Which is why, Jeno with resilient courage speaks up for Dae. "I hate to break it to you, but the Dae that left your house years ago, isn't the Dae sitting in front of you. Her intelligence has changed and she’s adapted to street smarts too. I agree that Journalism isn't possibly the career that you invasion your daughter in, but she's similar to you in many ways. You started out with a master’s degree in Research, you left Research to join your family’s legacies of Doctors, before leaving it all together and had to dump it all including your family to finding out what you really wanted to do. But I digress, how can you put her down when I read that you even went as low as being a brick man and laying bricks for a living? You eventually decided you wanted a career in construction. Humble beginnings should never be neglected. If you didn't disqualify yourself, why discourage her, your own daughter? And if you're talking about money, then let me I’ll say it now, she makes money more than me-"
"Are you giving me street psychology now?"
Jeno breaths in deeply smirking a little when seeing a challenging look in her father’s eyes. "Street psychology makes you learn lessons the hard and painful way. Being rock bottom teaches you of success that being rich can’t. I've been with her ever since she left your home, so I know what I'm talking about when I say she's had a fall from your grace. But look at her now," Jeno turns to her, throwing a little smile and lightly patting her cheek (causing Dae to smile a little) before turning to Chenle, who even stopped eating to firmly be attentive to Jeno after publicly displaying such a manner. "I too, worry about the giant dumpster fire of twiddling toddler's, but I also don't care about that and I know she doesn't care about that. She writes for a living you know, she's always been writing and has tweaked her personalities here and there to adapt to the life that she's wanted. And if she can write a piece that has touched an orphaned boy's heart and stopped him from spiraling down into a dark path of drugs, then I know and have the belief that she's broken through the noise you’re projecting. I don't know why she isn't saying it now, but she always says, she wants to make a difference in all the ways that she can. That’s a fucking huge commitment if you ask me. And I'm not trying to take your place or anything like that, but even if she does fails in her projects, I’m here for you no matter how many times. You haven't been there for her, so you don't have that right to criticize or be disappointed in her achievements so far. I’m saying all this respectfully. I don't mean to sound rude or come of impolite, but the truth is the truth, and it can rub you the wrong way, so swallow it like a bitter pill."
“Well said, you’re the one living with her.”
Dae has a warm look in her eyes when looking to Jeno, her boyfriend, her choice, her messed up but one of the many right choices. How passionate he's been in defending her, whether it was to someone he never knew or someone she knew, and not allowing anyone, not even her dad, to walk over her. He's made it clear, time and time and time again, how he won't let anybody ever talk down on her or disrespect her. And its kind of alarming for Dae that Jeno just said all that while being ‘respectful’.
It's tensely silent with Chenle paying mind to his food instead, Chungdae and Yezi holding in their breaths, Dae smiling while eating on her meet- and Jeno returning back to his senses and freaking out. "Fuck." He mumbles, but instantly feels Dae's hand on his thigh. He turns his head seeing her reassuring smile. She mouths out a sweet thank you. It's enough to subside his irrational thoughts and focus on how calm she is.
Chungdae smiles when noticing the adoring look in Dae's eyes. Chungdae faces Chenle and picks up another bowl of rice before placing it before him. He looks to her, still eating his own bowl of meat and soup, and as if being summoned by the rice Chungdae lightly grins, and nudges her head towards Jeno and Dae. Chenle takes a look for himself, his eyes catching a sight too traumatic and so heartbreaking.
Dae looking at Jeno, the same way she used to look at him as a child. As a father, his child will always be his child. No matter how irrational, no matter how unclear, no matter how confusing she might be, even when she's falling in love with a foe, she's still his daughter. His first daughter. His first love whom he loves with all his heart. He doesn't know what's the name of the emotion that covers his whole heart when seeing Jeno, an unknown peasant briefly gazing at his precious daughter with stars in his eyes. And his daughter equally having eyes of fierce approval. He doesn’t like it, but he can’t put down how real it looks. He looks at Chungdae the same way too. And that scares Chenle because he doesn’t want her to marry such a guy.
She just came back home. His heart doesn't want to see her go just yet, especially not to a man who he still isn't too sure about. "Mr Lee."
Jeno peeks up and sits up. "Yes sir- I mean Mr Zhong,"
Chenle breathes out. "Are you treating this such as an interview?"
"Interview?"
"Seeing as though you've read my biography and probably Wikipedia, you seem to think that you have an understanding of my background," Chenle drinks a glass of water, firmly gazing into Jeno's stunned eyes. "Is that true?"
Jeno clears his throat, fumbling with his lips before nodding his head. "To be honest sir, I've known your work. The apartment my family and I lived in when we were little was actually designed by you."
"You could afford it?"
"Dad." Dae's shoulder slump.
Surprisingly Jeno chuckles. "It's okay babe- Dae, I mean." He quickly corrects himself, before turning back to Chenle. "I couldn't afford it, but my old man could....sort of. We lived with another family, so although tightly cramped, we all fit in together. To get back to you, being in that complex for a very short period of my childhood was sincerely the most mind blowing experience of my life."
"How so?" Chenle tilts his head. "And which complex was it? Situated where?"
"It's was called Clearview Water Hill. Situated in Goum NC."
Chenle nods his head. "I recall, it was amongst my first private building going public for government uses. It was labeled to be for the rich."
"To be honest, I felt rich as a young boy. The walls, corridors, rooms, even the water was so different. Not only that, but my dad was a construction worker so we watched a lot Construction channels. I had seen you appear time to time on tv. So regarding to me researching about you, I didn't have to do much except read it from Dae's pieces. The things I know about you are actually words Dae had written in her article pieces. She spoke extremely highly of you, it even gave off an impression that being in your presence is surreal. And it is… if I’m being honest."
Chenle is astonished (just when his mind slowly began to wonder if his daughter wanted to replace him), as his quick mind reflex suddenly pauses. His eyes turn from a sharp stare, to being enlightened. "You wrote a biography about me?"
"You used dad for clout?" Yezi laughs a little.
"What's clout?" Chenle asks, causing Yezi and Dae to snicker.
"It's slang dad," Yezi giggles.
Dae runs her hand through her hair swinging it back. "Not necessarily a biography, but advice on how to solidly build a future, brick by brick. I paid almost all my references to you and how successful you've been in paving the way brick by brick for your future,"
Chenle's face remains unchanged, yet Chungdae is in awe because she knows that Chenle is catching butterflies. Yezi is the one to voice it out. "Dae I told you not to boost his ego,"
This snaps Chenle out and he begins laughing. A sound which jolts Jeno out from his crave for the meat. His reaction makes Yezi laugh inwardly.
"Before I feel too honored. I still have to read what you wrote," Chenle remarks. "Word count?"
"2,500."
"Blog?"
"No, it's an article."
Chenle nods his head, shuffling in his seat bringing out his phone. "Name of website?"
"NationsWide,"
"Hmm," Chenle nods his head in approval. He's silent when scrolling through his phone, going through the about page and finding out the ratings of the website. Although it has a 8.8 out of 10 rating due to faulty writers and time consuming management, it has a high rating when it comes to work pieces. "It's a big shot company."
Dae finds herself smiling gladly turning to Jeno who pats her head- forgetting one of the rules that Dae put in place to not make any unnecessary physical contact. But she's happy non the less. “What’s the title?”
“I’m bad with titles, by it’s called Future Bricks Are Better Then Past Bricks.”
“It’s too long girl,” Yezi comments.
“I told her that too,” Jeno remarks smiling ligtly.
“Hey, I like it sounds good,” Dae cutely puffs her cheeks tempting Jeno to kiss her cheek, but he refrains from doing so.
Chenle searches up the title and immediately is impressed when seeing 5 stars in gold next to her article. That's his girl. He nods his head, as a smile crawls up his lips. "5 stars Dae, good job."
Her heart feels good. If it took Chenle simply reading from her article, then it would’ve saved time from Jeno backing her up. It's always difficult to get a reaction or compliment from him, so getting an actual reaction makes her feel joyous. Especially for something that he complained about minutes ago. In his silence of taking interest and suddenly reading his daughter's piece, Chungdae takes it as a cue to speak to Dae and Jeno.
"Are you two living together?" She smiles, causing a smile to grow on Jeno's lips as well.
"Yes,"
"Oh," Chungdae is a very traditional woman and always counters culture over modern society. So hearing that Dae and Jeno live together without having gotten married is a bit...it makes her feel uncomfortable for them. "Living together is such a huge commitment. It requires both of you to have an entanglement that you'll never leave each other,"
Jeno already being informed by Dae that her mother had the tendencies of being culturally educated, clears his throat in answering. "If it sets your heart as ease, we sleep in different rooms...to prevent us going too fast,"
"In going too fast, I assume you're talking about children?"
"Mum?" Yezi chokes on her food. "Please not that conversation, people are eating."
Okay," Chungdae nods her head letting out a little laugh with a hint of ease settling over. "That does set my heart at ease. I'm sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable but, may I inquire about your financial status Jeno? You mentioned photographer, right?"
"Right," Jeno nods his head.
“Could you tell me more about it?”
"Uhm, mainly I work as an advertising photographer, so I range from models, to houses, to products even nature. So as a whole, I guess that’s stock photography. I have side jobs here and there as part time so yeah," he nervously peeks at Chenle wondering if he'd get pissed. However Chenle isn't even looking or paying attention to them, but instead continues to read, paying his whole mind to the article he's reading. He’s nearly done reading, but his ears also give an ear to hear the conversation.
"Hm." Chungdae nods her head. "Well, it's something. Who supports financially?"
"I pay house rent and Jeno buys our necessities," Dae mentions. But is unaware of Chenle's sharp gaze.
"Excuse me?" He suddenly perks up. "You're paying the rent?"
"Our apartment is under my name so-"
"Because of his felony charges?" Chenle perkily asks to which Dae shakes her head.
"Felony exceeds one year, so no. And he doesn't have a felony charge. It's because of his prison record of 10 months."
"And you're proud to say that?" Chenle mumbles doubtfully while shaking his head, continuing to read. Whilst Chungdae continues to ask Jeno, some more basic questions such as if he's religious, has siblings, has parents, if they know about Dae and his relationship- so on. Some questions Dae had never heard the answers to, as Jeno would completely ignore her or change the subject. Questions pertaining to his family. She never knew his dad died...no wonder he always made dark jokes about not having any.
"Meaning you're much closer with your mother right?" Chungdae questions with a sympathetic smile.
Jeno throughout all the questions that he doesn't want to answer he kept his head down and occasionally looked up from his food- even going on to eating more just to avoid the question or staying silent to ignore. But not knowing Chungdae, he isn't expecting her to nag on and on, and not wanting to make Dae's mother upset or cause Chenle to pin him out again he answers. "She kicked me and my brother out when we were teens."
"Now we’re getting somewhere." Yezi mumbles while folding her arms. "Who's your brother again? Was it-"
"Mark." Jeno stuffs his mouth again. Dae knowing that not only is he (slowly) getting enraged by the endless questions, she also knows how much he hates talking about his family.
So being alert she clears her throat. "Okay, mum I think you've got a pretty broad idea of who he is now,"
Chungdae smiles meekly. "You know Dae, when I first met your dad-"
Much to Yezi's disappointment, who hated this story with a passion (due to the fact that in her mind Chungdae was still considered a side woman) gets up going to look for her baby. "I'm going to check on Areum."
Meanwhile Chenle sets his phone down when he's done reading. Impressed with what he’s read, he approves by giving it a rating.
"As I was saying. When I first met him, he was already self-made, financially stable and had a big job. Everything was already there. However, he didn't tell me any of that. And I, didn't have a clue on who he was at the time. Meaning to say, I didn't have a pretty broad idea of who he was until I found out the basics as: what his beliefs were, what his priorities were, what his family thought of him, what he thought of himself deeply and what flaws made him human. Only when I found out all those things, was I... almost ready to be with him." A masked smile comes on her face. The type of smile that's ready to offend but not wanting to seem blunt. "Jeno, you seem like a fine young man right now. However, I'm worried that it might not be who you are when you're outside of our house. I don't know how you treat my daughter-"
"Mum-"
"Let your mother talk." Chenle blinks once turning back to Chungdae. This was supposed to be a grilling session for him to get to know Jeno. Yet with the way Dae gazes upon Jeno's face, worries Chenle. His heart isn't used to seeing this gob struck look of so called love on her face. Especially since he just met her. It's been years, so he doesn't want to cause tension that'll make her leave again.
It's better Chungdae does it and Dae listens, rather then him doing it and never seeing Dae again.
Up till now, and with the way that Jeno spoke on Dae's behalf on something that she was 'passionate' about, Chenle just doesn't like the idea of his daughter already being tethered to a man.
She still has a long life ahead of her, however being in a relationship limits her life and choices- oh gosh especially on her financial status. He wants his daughter to enjoy life to the fullest. And Jeno can't give her all that.
All that he can give her is words wrapped in love. And he doesn't want that for his daughter. His daughters deserved much more than cheap love and words.
"She has a point. The least you can do, is listen." Chenle says again a bit softly when looking into Dae's eyes. Dae inwardly groans, yet when turning her gaze to Chungdae she sighs with an upset face.
"Even though I didn't give birth to her, I know who she is. And I'm not trying to poke holes in your bubble but I am saying that you're from two different worlds. Two completely separate worlds. You won't clash on a lot of things. And right now, as happy and giddy as this relationship has been, remaining faithful together or even growing together won't be that easy. Jeno, judging from your lack of family touch, and your upbringing from your brother, I'm not too comfortable with my daughter being down below with you. I do see your passion and will to have a better life, but it might not be enough. Right now, I can most likely hope for your future to be filled with growth. Because I don't think it'll be easy. Based on your foundation, of how you both met, I'm still a bit... hesitant in accepting you. I just don't want this to end in foulness."
The silence lingers in the air with both couples, Chenle and Chungdae gazing at both Jeno and Dae. Jeno sets his empty bowl down having being full and listening to all the advice. Dae places her hand on his knee and he sighs. "If I'm completely honest Mrs Zhong, you're right."
Dae peeks her eyes to Jeno, hoping that what he’d say would contradict his statement.
"I do feel out of place at times when I'm with her. I feel that she deserves much better than me. Much much better than me. When driving here I even said that she left a mansion to cramp up with me in a little apartment. Look, I can't understand this, but I really really like your daughter and think that... she can do much better than me." Jeno nods his head agreeing. "But every time I think about her, or me, or, of us being together, I think of how much we've been through. It's true we met in uncanny circumstances but... The fact that she made the biggest sacrifice to stay with me, even though I gave her countless of reasons to leave, she still wanted to be with me, and that gives me the chills. Because she left your world, her world to be...in my world. And I can see where your concerns are, believe me when I say we've had this talk one too many times, but we always come to the same conclusion." His hand securely holds onto hers on top of his knee. "Only time will tell, if really this will work out, but I believe that when I stopped comparing her life before and her life now, it's made my head clear. And when she stopped seeing me as just that guy who broke into her house, we gathered a mutual understanding."
"What conclusions have you come to?" Chenle asks softly, his eyes on Dae yet he asks Jeno, because Dae's eyes are still on him.
Jeno clears his throat. "The conclusion that we're both humanly real and not perfect. And we can't be perfect, but if we keep trying to understand and love each other than yeah. I never knew how to manage my account and all that shi- stuff, but Dae's been really adamant on teaching me. I never knew how to cook. I only lived off by water and bread, but she knows and has taught me so many great dishes, especially the Chinese ones. I never mediated or did yoga before, but with her, every morning we're both up and yoga-ering as a way to restore our mental health. I've never been good at getting attention or knowing how to market, but Dae's a real professional at that and has helped me market my work. Not only to say she's an important aspect of my life, but she came from recovering from overdosing, not that I helped much but I made sure she worked out, ate healthy, spoke her thoughts, gave her a change of scenery, made sure she always saw the sun… I mean, if I also have to list the bad stuff, I can just say, she doesn't know how to keep her stuff organized. Always cluttered, everywhere and plain right messy- respectfully messy-"
"That's true." Chungdae chortles.
"But she's been improving, she now puts the toothpaste back in its case, instead of living it open and on the toilet seat. Not only that, but she used to stress so much so that she never slept, always up at night and working, but along the days I used to show her that she's got enough time to drop he shoulders, breathe, to unclench her jaw, to meet people who will understand her instead of being a kiss ass, to rest without feeling guilty, enough time to try as well as fail, to change paths, to close her eyes, to sleep and rest, to do so many things that she wants to do, her life is long. Another thing, she never knew how to be active, she's ambitious, but lacks the effort to actually move to get things done, she's always online. Yes she does yoga, but she always sat down behind her screen or desk slouching and writing, but now I can genuinely say she's keeping fit by constantly jogging, she exercises as well, and can throw a punch for self-defense, not to say I taught her how to be violent, but for a lady in her form I'm pretty proud that she can throw a man twice her size over her shoulder."
"I did it to him," Dae marvels cheerfully.
"I simply taught her what I know and she taught me what she knows. We're both taking the good in our lives and presenting it to each other trying to make our lives better and throwing the bad away. We read the newspapers together, watch the news, read psychology books and talk to each other and learn about each other. Because I love her and just want her to be happy without any restraints. We are both new to this love, so we're learning with each other not only how to receive love, but also how to give love. You know, she expresses herself through writing, she always writes, she struggles in speaking up for herself or formulating the right words for the right moment, thus it's why she used to be condescending and using her privileges to walk over people. But now, I don't know why she's not doing it now, but she gradually speaks and pushes herself to be genuine and understanding. Mrs Zhong, I understand that you don't trust me with your daughter, but I'm telling you honestly that I'm careful and gentle with her. I don't want to hurt her again, or even allow myself to lose her to a successful man who's got everything. I want to be everything for her. I'm working my ass off in getting to where I want to be, and making sure that she's happy and securely in her field. I don't have it now but I know that I'll get it. I'm trying my hardest, I'm putting my all and investing literally my whole life into this. I don't know what you want, but your daughter is here and she chose me, I can promise you that I won't put your family to shame."
Mr Zhong's ears are perked at Jeno's whole plea. He can see the ambition and drive in his eyes.
"Can I be honest with you right now." Chenle starts being equally respectful as Jeno has been. "I disliked you because you were poor and seemed unable. But. After reading what I've read, I can say that the Dae sitting before me, isn't the Dae with qualities that the world would reject like before. I'm still not for this relationship. But if I can at least have my daughter willingly help others, as well as herself, it gives you, Mr Lee, a mark in my books. It shows me how much you're invested in her. And another thing, if you, Dae, can't be pushed away from following your dreams, I think you'd be an excellent journalist."
"Thanks Dad," Dae smiles looking with admiration at her dad, causing Chenle to return the genuine smile.
"Keep writing pieces about me though," Chenle grins.
"Don't boost his ego," Yezi chuckles covering her face.
"Are you still hungry Jeno? Don't be shy if you want another round," Chungdae speaks up when seeing Jeno look at all the empty dishes. "There's plenty casseroles in the cuisine."
"Oh, no it's okay." Jeno smiles shyly. "Thank you Mr Zhong, and Mrs Zhong for the food. It was delicious,"
"I'm surprised you complimented Dae's cooking." Chungdae laughs before turning back and calling one of the maids names to come and remove the food. "Dae fights a lot when it comes to spices, especially with chili,"
"Well mother," Dae has a smug face. "Jeno here doesn't mind the spice or chili. He likes it hot,"
Jeno teasingly mumbles for only Dae to hear. "We're still talking about the food right?"
She playfully hits his thigh before turning to her mum. "I know what he likes to eat,"
"Honestly if you ask me, I still find it weird how you're with him." Yezi comments when the laughter dies down. Dae's jaw clinches but she eats on her rice (that she asked one of the maid to leave for her) remainign silent. But that's not the case for Yezi who glances up at her sister. "It's strange because I know you, and I know that this is not the type of guy you'd quote on quote fall in love with."
"Yezi." Chungdae calls out calmly, with intentions of warning her.
Chenle nods his head setting down his chopsticks when he's done swallowing a lump of meat giving his plate away to the maids. "No, Yezi's right. It's strange to see this, no disrespect to you Mr Lee, but it seems like Stockholm syndrome."
"That's so unfair. We just finished that discussion." Dae mumbles glaring at her sister and dad. "It's not-"
"I know," Chenle nods his head with a gentle smile. "With the way he's spoken about you, my ideas of him shifted. Perhaps it's not a forced love. I just need to get used to the idea of seeing you with him. That's all,"
"You can't force him down our throats, we still have to get to know him," Yezi comments.
"So Jeno, how about I get to know you more. If it's possible, drop me an email on your availability and I'll set up a date for you to come to my company."
Jeno's eyes widen. "Really?"
"I wanna see how good you are at your work of photography. There's some houses that will be completed within a week from now and I need some photographs. Will you be interested?"
Jeno gulps nodding his head. "Yes sir- I mean Mr Zhong."
"Good. Now if we all may, there's a resting area waiting for us,"
S1: EP14-16
22:48
"I can't believe you lied to my mum that we sleep in different rooms," Dae chuckles when entering the comforts of their shared room turning around to eye Jeno who unbuttons his shirt.
Jeno has a smug look on his face before tilting his head. "I mean, it's sorta true. I told you to take the other room, but somehow you’re always here even though your stuff is there,”
"That’s because it’s lonely sleeping alone.” Dae smiles when kissing his lips. “But still, I don’t know if she bought that.”
“If she did, then it’s best if we keep it under the wraps of how much of a freak you are in my room, in bed.” Jeno lightly chuckles, watching Dae walk backwards while running her hands up her body giving him teasing eyes.
“Regardless, I'm glad it went well.” She notes as she removes her shoes and gathers some wet wipes to clean off her makeup. “Gosh I'm so happy it went well. Seeing my dad and mum and Yezi and Areum was such a serene moment that I’ll never forget.”
Jeno removes both his blazer and buttoned down shirt turning to Dae who’s removing her makeup. “They were welcoming, I’m glad you invited me to experience this experience with you. Seeing you with your family only brought peace to my soul. At least you’re reunited with your family again, your mum, dad, sister…and even that little child. Although, I won’t lie, I’m surprised that your sister…kept that child,” Jeno tries to say without saying it. “It’s just odd,”
“I know,” Dae finishes cleaning the makeup off her face and applying some cream before she stretches her arms moving to the night stand lamp turning it on. “But you know what, she’s still my baby sister’s baby and I’m a proud aunt who gets babysitting rights.” Dae smiles brightly. “I just can't express it in words. I'm so happy right now." Dae smiles and bites her lip innocently. "Hey. Can you help me undo my dress?" Dae moves to the bed sitting down a little bit too exotically but Jeno still makes his way towards her.
Holding onto her calf, he kisses on her knee smiling before trapping her in between his body as he gets on the bed. “You’re so happy you’re getting turned on, I think this will be a problem,” Bending his head down, he softly smudges plentiful kisses along the side of her neck, licking and biting on her soft skin. He groans when Dae's hand secretly finds its way down his covered member and palms him soothingly.
"You forgot to tell my dad how good you make me feel,"
"Is that so?" Jeno rhetorically asks leaving envelope kisses on her collarbone whilst undoing the back of her dress. "Should've told him how well you suck me off,"
Dae giggles when her dress becomes loose, allowing her freedom to remove her arms and then her turtle neck- only resting in a corset and bra. Her lips crash onto his as he mouths his way down her neck undoing the strings of her corset. Having his warm fingers on her skin arouses her body to beg for him. She feels his big hands going behind her back unclipping her bra.
"Is this okay?"
"Mmh," She whispers. “Just do it,”
He continues to mouth his way up her body, her warmth on his tongue when he kisses her again. In sync they move together while staring into each others eyes. He’s panting, holding her tight while his stamina takes over him and he holds her into him, allowing her movements and his to be fluid, going up and down, moving together. She was his first and every time he’d get at it with her, he always felt the same as the first time. Special. He loved being inside her, how she made him feel. Under her skin and inside his head, he can’t help but press her into her hugging her tight as he pounds into her, his eyes on solely on her. Even though the struggle to keep her eyes open, his eyes are on her loving her every expression. She was so beautiful that he didn’t even know what to do.
When they both cum into each other, she’s left shaking on his member from the pleasure and that makes Jeno laugh. “I love when your legs do that, was it good?”
“Mhm,” She moans and slowly rides him circling her hips and bouncing lightly on him again. It goes on for another round, until they're both panting on the bed fully naked with steamy smiles. Jeno groans and curses out when Dae disappears underneath the blanket with a giggling laugh. “Fuck, are you not tired?” Jeno pants, feeling her mouth wrap around his shaft. “You don’t have to do it-”
Aside from having intercourse, the one thing Jeno didn’t ask for was blow jobs. Not only did it remind him of what his brother did to her, but he was afraid that her mentality consumed the behavior from the trauma she dealt with when Mark made her suck him off. Continuing to suck and blow, Dae doesn’t stop bobbing her head and taking him whole. For her, it allowed her to have control over the situation, rather than thinking that she had no power of her own. In general being with Jeno, slowly allowed her mind to cope with the fact that something happened to her, she can't change it, she has to come to terms with it, deal with it, and now move passed it. It was a cycle she was slowly overcoming, and with Jeno beside her, it severed her as a means that even if something bad came out, something good as well could come out.
"I'm going to shower," Dae gets off the bed being breathless, skimpily jogging seductively to the bathroom before peeking at Jeno who's eyes latch with adoration, she speaks up. "You should join me,"
"I'm coming," he smiles tiredly. Getting up from the bed stretching his arms, he picks up his own towel walking towards the bathroom however stops when hearing a faint knock on the door. He checks the time, frowning when it's late into the night.
He walks quietly to the door wrapping his waist with the towel. His eyes searching through the peephole. His eyes widen when noticing a familiar figure lighting up a cigarette.
Jeno ducks from the door when the figurine sends his fist flying to the door knocking on it. "Hello?"
Mark?
The person knocks for a while on, still smoking his cigarette. Jeno still ducked is confused and gets startled by Dae walking into the living room with a grin. "They you are,"
"Shh," Jeno mumbles with a panicked voice.
Dae's brows furrow. "Who's there?"
"Uh, I'm looking for someone,"
Dae suddenly hears the voice outside. She was asking Jeno, but hearing the answer come from outside she's perplexed. Looking back to Jeno who's chest goes up and down, she moves closer carefully. It seems he's hiding from someone. "Who're you looking for?"
"Does Lee Jeno, Lee Jeno live here?"
"Uhm.." Jeno sharply shakes his head in panic and Dae catches on. "I'm sorry but it's past midnight, and Lee Jeno doesn't live here,"
"Are you sure about that? Hey, please can you open the door. I'm a relative of his."
"I said Lee Jeno doesn't live here. Can you please leave before I call the police."
It's silent on the other hand before the man speaks again. "Fine, I'll come back in the morning. Let him know." Dae's about to speak in confusion but the person speaks again. "Tell him Mark came by. His brother. Alright. I'm going."
"Brother?" Dae quietly whispers and her eyes enlarge. Feeling exposed as though being ripped of her robe, Dae securely grips on her robe trembling back. "Jeno..." She pants out. "Was that, M-Mark?"
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"I went to the address you gave me. Some woman was there, said he didn't live there." Mark yawns laying back on the ground next to Donghyuck who's looking up to the stars. "And what're you doing here bro?"
Laying down on the green freshly trimmed grass Donghyuck groans and opens his eyes. "I'm not your bro man. You shot me and my brother."
"You're still at that? Let the past be the past. Now that we’re both out, we should be looking out for each other," Mark chortles.
Donghyuck shakes his head. “I never got a proper apology from you,”
Mark fidgets around trying to find a good position. "I'm sorry for shooting at you and your bro. I keep saying that I thought that maybe it was the end for us. You weren't moving and we needed to go. At least shooting at you would permit them to focus on you while I escaped."
Donghyuck turns to Mark with frisky eyes. "You fucking say that with confidence."
"I'm sorry man." Mark apologizes lowly having a smirk on his face. "Should've had your back."
"Whatever." Donghyuck mumbles and sighs out. "Anyway. I saw that address in Officer Park’s visitation book. It literally said Jeno's residence, so I assumed it's where Jeno lives."
"The apartment looks too fire for Jeno. I don’t even think he lives there.” Mark scoffs. “Then again, it wouldn’t be so bad crashing with him.”
"Your brother seems to be in good terms with the police, he occasionally speak to his Parole Officer, Officer Na. So, I don’t wanna crash there." Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders not interested in talking about Jeno. "D'you find a job yet?"
"None. I just came out last week and am not willing to go back, but my patience is wearing thin on doing things the quote on quote right way." Mark sighs. "It's why I'm out here sleeping with you in a park like a homeless kid."
"I’m actually homeless dude." Donghyuck snickers lightly.
"Nah, your mum can take you back any time. You're just choosing not to go. Stubborn."
Donghyuck scoffs. “The day I stepped into prison was the day my family and loved ones began their ‘prison’ time as well. My bad decisions caused me to be separated from my family for years. Life for my family still went on and they had to learn how to navigate through the ups and downs without me. The harsh reality of losing my freedom was that I could not truly help my loved ones in times of need compared to as if I were present. It was a bitter pill to swallow knowing that I had also sealed their fate by my own hands. When I was there with them, I felt so out of place. I don't know how many years have passed, but her and Renjun are like an oil machine. They're so tight together and it makes me feel honestly like a fuck up son and brother. A fucking loser who only goes over when he’s hungry. I..Just left." Donghyuck finds himself honestly opening up. "Life would be better if I wasn't around them. And besides, I see her at work..."
After coming out of prison, he honestly tried to get back in his mum's good books, but it seemed really pressuring. Especially with Renjun ignoring him and pretending he doesn't exist. Donghyuck could feel the tension in the air whenever he was around them and he hated that. Even though he didn't want anything to do with Mark ever again, they surprisingly found each other again. Mark came out of prison by probation and was constantly kept on a leash. So obviously when he found Donghyuck under a large oak tree in a secluded park, he knew that his friend had been staying out of trouble, and joining him wouldn’t be so bad.
“But come one man, don’t you miss having a bed?” Mark asks. “We could crash at Jeno’s place until we get some shit together,”
“You do that. He’s your brother.” Donghyuck mutters. “And judging from the fact that he hasn’t contacted you should tell you that he may not be looking forward to reuniting with you. You said you heard a chick?”
“Yeah,” Mark mumbles. “She was like, Lee Jeno doesn’t live here. But I knew she was lying,”
Donghyuck chuckles lightly. “Well if that’s the case, and he’s got a girlfriend or something, he won’t let you back in easily,”
Mark groans. “I’m his fucking brother,”
“That’s what I said about Renjun, and he hates my guts,”
“Nah that boarder jumper-”
“He’s a citizen now,”
“Wow,” Mark snickers. “Either way, he was never your brother to begin with,”
For some reason that hurts Donghyuck, because he slowly started considering Renjun as a brother and everything he did was always for his mother as well as Renjun’s wellbeing. And despite being in okay terms with his mum, he also wanted to get back on Renjun’s good books. “Well if you wanna get back with your brother, I suggest getting him to sympathize over you because if he’s anything like Renjun, he won’t let you in his house,”
“That’s some brother,” Mark shakes his head. “But it’s cool, I’ll stay with you,”
Mark doesn't want to say it, but it's evident that they only have each other. While Mark didn't want to lose the friend he had, Donghyuck wanted to stay away as far as possible from him. “I thought maybe getting myself in an accident, like breaking my arm or starving myself, would have them take me in easily. But no, they’ve got stone cold hurts. But the little I know of Jeno, if you hurt yourself he could take you in,” Donghyuck plants the seed into Mark’s head. Now he’s just hoping Mark will take the bait.
It's why before dawn, before the sun comes out of its blanket, Donghyuck awakes early and gets ready for his day by simply wearing his leather jacket. His eyes go over to Mark before getting up and heading to his day job.
His mum was kind enough to buy him 2 extra pairs of trousers as well as 2 clean shirts, and Donghyuck kept them in the school’s janitor closet. He knew it wasn’t professional, but it’s not like the school would know- since the school also offered him janitor uniform which was a grey shirt with the school’s logo and white pants. So after cleaning his face in the male washroom, he heads into the tiny janitor’s closet to change up into his work uniform. The choice in color not only made him look approachable, but it singled him out as the cleaner.
Most of the time Donghyuck didn’t have to do much cleaning since the young kindergarten students would always clean up their home room classes early in the morning. Donghyuck only had to handle the staffs’ resting room, bathrooms, hall ways and occasionally cleaning outside the jungle gym. The kindergarten school was a moderately rich school with a big yard and no other buildings around. It had students from the age of 5 to 7, and only 7 staff members (including his mum), 1 principle and 2 janitors- in total 10 workers. The school had 6 working days, so Donghyuck worked Thursday’s to Saturday. With only a number of staffs team, the school wasn’t that big, but it was decently strong in the education department of training young students. One thing Donghyuck liked about it, was that it was a private school, meaning the young students were taught much more than the average kindergartener.
Donghyuck had students politely greet him, had some helping him with picking up trash and throwing it in the bin, and even (on some rare days) shared with him some of their merit sweets. But none of the students were like the little female student known by the name of Areum.
While she was like the rest of the students, politely greeting him, helping him after school when all her friends had gone and even giving him some of her merit sweets- ever since that day that they spoke on the bench, she was attentive to him.
“Hi Mr Sunshine,” She greets in a tiny voice that echoed loudly with a big bright smile.
Donghyuck turns his head down to the little kid, just as his mother who’s walking down the hallway towards him notices the little girl. “Hey kid,” Donghyuck greets noticing she has a basket and opens it up revealing some creamy cupcakes. She digs her hand inside and picks up one with a glittery label on a toothpick that said, Mr Sunshine. Donghyuck’s brows furrow with a little smile. “What’s this?”
“Today is my birthday,” She smiles brightly.
Donghyuck takes the glittery cupcake bending his knees and crouching down to be almost at eye level with the little girl. “You’re a leap year baby? How old are you now?”
“I’m now 6 years old,”
Donghyuck tries not to laugh. “Technically, you’re 1 years old because this is the first leap year in years, but I’m not gonna judge.” She smiles. “Well happy birthday kid. Did you make for your whole class?”
She nods her head.
“You’re a very kind little girl,” Donghyuck lightly pats her head smiling before he stands up. “Thank you for making me a cupcake. I don’t have a present for you now, but I can tell you a joke,”
“Okay,” She gets excited.
“Why did the clown go to the doctor?”
“Why?” Even before Donghyuck can finish, she already starts giggling.
“He was feeling funny,” Donghyuck puts emphasis on the funny as he moves his hands in a wave manner- and of course she loses her mind and topples over while laughing. Donghyuck pats her head cautiously. “Why don’t you head on to class. The bell’s about to ring, hurry,”
“Okay, bye Mr Sunshine,” She cools down from her laugh.
“See ya,” Donghyuck gets back up and drags the rest of the cleaning supplies back into the janitor’s closet. While opening up the door and goes inside, his mother (who stopped walking to watch the interaction) begins walking to the janitor closet only for her to freeze in her steps when noticing an all too familiar face…faces.
“Areum, don’t go too quick,” The lady in a navy nurse uniform turns into the corridor and finally sees the little girl. “Hey, wait up,” She walks with one large brown bag as well as a covered cake in the other hand just as a little girl, the same little girl Donghyuck was talking to, comes over and walks alongside her.
“Sorry mummy,” She smiles. “The bell’s going to ring,”
“Don’t worry about the bell, you’re going to mess up the cupcakes and doughnuts if you run too quick,” A man, standing next to them in a police uniform smiles down at the little Areum.
“Okay, I was just excited,” She bounces up and down. “I wanna give everyone a cake already,”
“Then let’s not keep you waiting,” The man has his hands filled with several plastic bags but still managing to hold onto the little girl’s hand. Donghyuck’s mother blinks twice and has to turn away while the pair and little girl walks past her.
His mother is in shock after recognizing that the police officer was Na Jaemin and the nurse looked exactly the same as the girl that had her house broken into by her son and friends, her name was Yezi. After they pass she quickly goes into the janitor’s room but stops midway when Donghyuck pulls the door open and dusts his hands while eating and chewing on the cupcake, being surprised to see his mum.
“Mum?”
“H-hey,” She greets with a tight smile, but then grabs his arm and quickly dashes outside of the building holding him tight.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Donghyuck asks as he’s being dragged out the building. “What did I do?”
“Donghyuck, who’s that little girl that keeps talking to you?” She asks when they’re outside taking in one big breath.
Donghyuck tries to think for a second when trying to get this mum’s question. “I don’t know, Areum, why? Is it because of the cupcake? It’s her birthday and she gave me one,”
“That’s not what I’m asking, I’m asking whether you know who this girl, as in her parents?” His mother tries to calmly ask out.
Donghyuck furrows his brows and shakes his head while shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know her parents. Why? Did she get hurt?”
Donghyuck’s mother can only stare at him with wide eyes feeling her heart beat fast. Her son just got out of prison and had been doing fairly well for some weeks now. She can’t allow anything bad to happen to him. “Look,” She breathes in nervously. “This little girl, just like all the other girls and boys have parents and families who are stacked with money and power. I just want you to be careful whenever you talk or engage with them. I doubt any of them would approve that an ex prisoner is a janitor at this school, they would lose their minds. I know these people. Which is why, I’m saying this. I don’t want any problems so I’m asking you, please Donghyuck, do not- and I repeat, do not find yourself in a problematic situation involving these kids. Okay?”
Donghyuck nods head when seeing how serious his mum looks. “I won’t. I promise,”
“Especially that little girl who’s always around you.”
Donghyuck nods his head again.
“In fact, I want you to stay as far away from her.” She pats his arm slightly and heads back into the school allowing her hand to massage her neck that became slightly stiff. “I hope he listens,”
Donghyuck doesn’t even have to think of the situation, especially regarding that little girl. If his mum was warning him, it only meant that this girl had parents who would cause havoc in his new path. So continuing to eat his cupcake he walks to the corner of the building and connects the hose pipe to begin watering the grass.
Yezi has to do a double take when seeing the man. Of course she can’t see his face but his backside has her in wonder. Especially since he’s eating a cupcake.
“Are you coming?” She snaps out of her thoughts when hearing Jaemin.
“Yes I am,” She smiles when buckling her seatbelt. “I hope Areum has fun today,”
“Me too,” Jaemin notes and starts up his car. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something,”
“Sure, as long as you’re still taking me to work,”
Jaemin begins driving turning his gaze lightly to Yezi before looking back to the road. “I was taking Areum to school the other day, and noticed something weird,”
“What? She picks her nose? Tells bad puns? Laughs and talks alone? I was worried too, but dad said it’s a natural thing for kids so it’s okay.”
Jaemin’s ghost smile fades when recalling what Areum was doing. “She was...” Jaemin sighs deeply as he himself didn’t even know how to say it. The sight was unusual and made him question what was going on in her head. Yezi takes note of his chilling tone, and watches him. “She’s an odd child, but I worry about her. I know it feels like I’ve pushed the boundary between work and your family, but I really do worry about her,”
“I’m grateful that you’ve always been there for me and my family whenever we called. And ever since Areum was born you’ve almost become like family to me. So I appreciate you so much Mr Na,” Yezi acknowledges Jaemin by meekly smiling in his direction. He was 7 years older then her, but whenever looking at him she always got butterflies. Much to her family, Jaemin was just an officer, but to her- he was like her best friend. “So to have you worried about her, makes me kinda feel anxious. What’s wrong? What did she do?”
“It’s not what she did… more like where did she learn it from,” Jaemin licks his lips peeking at her. “How active are you with your boyfriend? Sexually speaking.”
The question makes her cheeks and neck glow in warmth. She even shifts in her seat trying to remain calm. “Uh, Jaehyun and I… don’t really…we haven’t gotten on that boat yet,”
That’s news to Jaemin’s ears. “Really?” Yezi nods her head. “You haven’t had any inter-”
“It’s kinda hard thinking about sex when I was raped as a child.” Yezi mutters. “Did Areum say something odd?”
“No, no,” Jaemin runs his hand through his hair. He tries to be respectful considering Yezi’s history. “I’m just asking. A-actually, tell me about him. Jaehyun.”
“Pardom?” Yezi has to blow air out of her mouth when finding the atmosphere warm and a little bit too much for her. “You hate when I talk about him,”
“That’s because he’s 9 years older than you,” Jaemin mutters covering up with a cough. “I mean, I don’t have anything against the guy other than he’s 30 and you’re 21. He’s a great guy, has a good looking face, egotistical personality-”
“Jaemin,” Yezi drags out a sigh with her smiley face. “He’s nice to me. But what does asking about him have to do with what Areum did? What did she do, tell me?” Jaemin’s nonchalant face doesn’t budge only making Yezi much more adamant. “Jaemin?”
“I’m just looking out for her,” Jaemin says. “I know you work over time, and your dad doesn’t get back until late and your mum started attending some afternoon yoga classes- but really is there no one else you can trust Areum with? Nanny even?”
“The last time I trusted a nanny, I found her hitting Areum as a form of discipline. I’m not going down the nanny line again. Plus the one’s we have at home only work for my dad and mum. They can watch Areum, but I don’t want them too. She’s my little girl and I don’t want them to pontificate her mind,”
“Come on Yezi, and Jaehyun?” Jaemin’s eyes widen. “He’s a 30-year-old man. Just because he’s got a lot of free time doesn’t-”
“I trust Jaehyun because he makes Areum happy, she doesn’t get nervous or scared around him. And because he’s older he takes his responsibilities seriously. It’s not his responsibility, but he’s passionate about her and that makes me feel some form of safety.”
“The best I can do is drop her every morning to school while you go off to work early in the mornings. If I could look after her, after school, would you allow me too?”
Yezi has an unknown sad frown on her face, but subtly nods. “She doesn’t open up much to people and with you she’s afraid because you have a gun and deal with ‘bad people’, but if it’s what you want to do, I can consider it. But you already have so much on your plate,”
“Trust me Yezi, Jaehyun’s great. But there’s something off… maybe it’s not even Jaehyun. Maybe it’s her friends at school,” Jaemin begins second doubting himself.
“Jaemin what did she do, that has you so worked up?” Yezi pleads this time feeling worried.
Jaemin sighs. “It’s not a big deal, just…” Jaemin’s eyes brighten. “What about your sister? You said she’s clean again, can’t you ask her-”
“I’m not gonna ask her until you tell me what happened with Areum?”
“Fine.” He rolls his eyes, before the nerves kick in again. How would he tell her that he caught her daughter bouncing and even dry humping herself on the backseat of his car? She would be in a frenzy state. But then again, Jaemin could be over thinking it and Areum wasn’t doing anything scandalous and he could’ve saw wrong….no he couldn’t have saw wrong for 18 weeks now. “She humps her seat every morning I take her to school.” Jaemin reveals. “And she does it excessively, like she’s trying to pleasure herself. I, I could be reading too much into it but I can’t help but wonder why she does that. I’ve tried asking her but she stops and then says nothing.”
“So, you’re suspecting Jaehyun of-”
“No, I’m not. I just.” Jaemin stops himself before finding the words. “She’s a little girl and takes things in easily. In a way, if he’s the one watching her afterschool, don’t you think she’s learning things from him? Plus I could be wrong about him, and it’s not him but instead it’s the students at her school. Maybe some male student or even the female students, I don’t know Yezi. If I’m reading too much into it, then there’s nothing wrong and it’s nothing to worry about, but if it’s something true then I think you should check on the people around her because she’s learning some bad things for her age. She just turned 6 today,”
Yezi is in silence as well as astonishment from everything Jaemin says. “Humping her seat how?”
Jaemin doesn’t say anything but then his body starts awkwardly moving back and forth before he starts bouncing lightly on his seat. The scene is erotic and has Yezi’s eyes widening. “Like that,” Jaemin says before stopping and resting back on his seat.
Yezi sharply intakes some air and looks away. Her cheeks are flushed and the tempo of her heart changes. However, for the rest of the ride, she says nothing until Jaemin reaches the hospital in which she interns in. “Have a good day,” Jaemin says, a small smile sipping onto his lips just as his eyes look guilty for causing her tension so early in the morning.
Yezi stiffly smiles and unlocks her door stepping out. She shuts the door and heads to his boot to bring out her work bad- afterwards she goes back to the window and knocks on it. “I’ll call Dae and see if she’s available. Uh, do you mind picking me up afterwards?”
“Time?”
“Half past six,”
“Sure,” He nods his head but he can’t help when asking. “Will Jaehyun be with Areum?”
She stiffly nods her head and tilts her head to the side looking anxious. “I’ll talk to him during my lunch break. Thanks for telling me.”
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For the next coming of days, Yezi is highly cautious of Areum. She tries spotting or even catching Areum when ‘humping’, but just like Jaehyun said perhaps Areum wanted to pee on those days that Jaemin picked her up. Jaehyun assured Yezi that Areum only acts like that when she really wants to use the bathroom. Her suspicion died down when Jaehyun assured her that Areum is a good girl and doesn’t know things like that- and if she did, then he would put it down immediately. And even when Yezi tried investigating by talking with teachers at her school, and with her dad and mum- they were confused by the brass topic. ‘How could she know such?’ They’d ask. Even when Yezi would hump the floor and ask Areum what was happening- Areum didn’t seem to know what her mother was talking about or even doing. So while Jaemin never brought it up again, Yezi was able to relax and hoping that indeed Jaemin might’ve seen Areum in her pressed state and in need to use the toilet.
However, for Donghyuck who constantly watches Areum rub herself on the bench when everyone’s gone gets bothered by it. Like his mother said, he tries to stay away from Areum as much as he can. But he can’t help it, when day by day it really looks scandalous. This little girl was being sexually abused and mind fucked by her uncle.
Donghyuck doesn’t know the depths of it, of how much the little girl knows, but it surely gets on his nerve every time he’d see the smirking uncle touch the girl. Areum, even though Donghyuck didn’t know her, was a sweet little girl who loved making friends with everybody. She was a little class clown who brought smiles to everyone’s faces. Donghyuck remembers when on one assembly, while the students were watching their entertainment of the week by some dancing clowns, Areum got up as well and began dancing- challenging the clowns, bringing smiles and laughter to everyone’s faces. Donghyuck even acknowledges how smart she is, from always getting golden sticker stars on her forhead to the amount of merit sweets she’d get- this tiny little girl was oblivious to the fact that she was being used by her uncle, all in the name of playing.
And so when approaching her after school past 3pm on a Thursday, he notices how tired she looks when dragging her pelvis slowly on the bench.
“Hey kid,” He pipes up with a tiny smile, causing her little drained face to meekly smile.
“Hi Mr Sunshine.” She tries smiling but she looks so tired.
Donghyuck takes a seat next to her on the bench taking a look at her. “No joke today?”
She stops humping hanging her head down.
In her lack of response, Donghyuck clears his throat speaking again. “Waiting for your uncle?”
She looks up and nods her head. Donghyuck feels strange watching her look so drained of energy before her gaze goes back to the ground. It’s silent for a little while before he speaks up again.
“Do you still play that game with your uncle?” The question itself makes Donghyuck itch the wrong way, but when Areum tenses up his face thickens with anxiety. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t like playing fuck with Uncle Jung anymore.” She murmurs out. “But he likes playing it.”
Donghyuck’s jaws lock before he tries asking another question. “Why don’t you tell your mum? Or dad?”
“Mummy likes him too much,” She answers. “And I’m scared she’ll be angry with me,”
Donghyuck finds himself feeling bad for the little girl. She must not have a father, and her mother might be a strict rich parent or something along the lines- Donghyuck thinks to himself. “I think you should tell mummy. If you tell her what uncle does to you, she’ll tell uncle to stop.”
She shakes her head timidly and looks nervous. “Uncle Jung will punish me. He told me to never ever tell mummy or else fuck will become harder,”
Donghyuck’s brows furrow in distaste. That fucker, he thinks. “How about this,” Donghyuck breathes in. “I can tell a teacher and then your teacher will tell your mum-”
“Nooo,” She shakes her head looking petrified. “Uncle Jung doesn’t like bad girls. If I’m a bad girl, he’ll punish me.”
Aside from her outburst in stress, Donghyuck can tell that something has changed in her. Whereas the first few days she looked content of the ‘game’, she now seems more reluctant. “Do you like playing that game?” He asks lowly.
Areum shakes her head before getting up from her seat when a black vehicle stops in front of them. Donghyuck is deep in his thoughts until a car comes. He bites his lip to hold back his anger, but he gets up and walks with Areum until her uncle is out the car.
“Hey puppy,” He greets with the pet name. Donghyuck’s ears are sharp when hearing the ‘happiness’ sip out of Areum. Poor little girl is so afraid that she even fakes her happiness. “She wasn’t a bother was she?”
Donghyuck’s head turns to the man and he shakes his head. “She never is. Hey uh, sir.”
“Yes?” Jaehyun peers back at the man after shutting the door when Areum gets in the backseat.
Donghyuck can’t find the words to say when looking at the little girl in the backseat. He only feels anger boiling in him. She’s trapped in the car with an abuser. “Whatever game you’re playing with her you should stop.”
Jaehyun’s head tilts to the side and he blinks. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Donghyuck turns in his step and walks back to the school.
Little does Donghyuck know when Jaehyun gets back in the car he turns back to Areum who has her head hanging low. “Areum were you a naughty girl today at school?”
Areum looks up and shakes her head.
“Are you lying to me?”
She shakes her head again.
“Does that guy know about the game?”
Areum hesitates a little and her eyes look down. Jaehyun starts his car being angered. He doesn’t say anything except plays his jam as he drives back to his house whereby he’d stay with Areum until 18h30 and take her back home. Upon getting to his house, he helps Areum undress into the spare clothes her mother left over at his house, and begins assisting her with her homework. When they’re done, he allows her to watch tv while he works on his laptop. Initially, they’d have ‘play time’, but Jaehyun is heated with anger that he denies her request of play time and goes into his room. Not long after, Areum knocks on the door and pushes it open.
“I’m sorry Uncle Jung.” Areum apologizes when standing by his door. “I won’t tell anyone again.”
Hearing that, Jaehyun exhales lowly. Recently he started doing things a little bit different with her, perhaps it was too much for her. “What did you tell him? And don’t lie to me.”
She keeps her head down, being scared to look up. “I don’t know.” She admits. “That I play fuck with you and that you touch me here.” She points to her lower part.
Jaehyun rolls on his chair and faces her. It took him only a few conversations for him to convince Yezi that he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate with her daughter. And truly speaking he wasn’t…he only liked to show Areum how her body worked and what she should do to relieve herself. He liked to touch…and see how she liked it. Aside from that, he didn’t think that he did anything wrong. She would soon forget about it as she grew up, but for now he was aroused at how the little girl’s body worked. Despite being so young, she reacted pleasantly to all the games they’d play together. He didn’t want to stop, and he surely enjoyed himself while playing with her- if anyone else found out about this, they’d have him imprisoned. “Do you want to see me go to prison?”
Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “No Uncle Jung.”
“Do you want mummy to stop us playing together?”
She shakes her head.
“Then next time, don’t tell anyone. If you don’t like the games anymore, tell me and I’ll stop. But never ever tell anyone again, or I’ll be forced to punish you, and you don’t want to be punished right,”
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PLAY: Season 2: Part 2
[Taglist: @rizykim | @sexygrass | @jenjaemjam | @lvmarfc | @haechanistfriends | @markleefuckme ]
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gifsbysimplysonia · 1 year ago
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Ahsoka Parts One thru Four reactions
Man am I grateful my brother made sure we watched Clone Wars and Rebels before we got into live action Ahsoka. Within the first, like, 10 minutes there were so many references that I was just bouncing and like OH MY GOD.
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WTF THEY KILLED SABINE ALREADY?!?! Obviously not cuz no but like A RED LIGHTSABER WAS PUT THROUGH HER! It was a very OMG they killed Kenny moment. Thank God we weren't watching live cuz having to wait a week after that would have killed me
The mural from the end of Rebels - like the exact same drawing - is in Lothal. My heart.
I want a Lothal cat?
I saw Hyuang and heard David Tennant and my heart was so happy!
And then as Governor Ryder they cast Clancy Brown! As someone who has a brain that loves continuity, omg. So satisfying.
Who is the BA with the red saber and bangs? She looks like an Olsen sister.
Sabine pulling a Kanan and cutting off all her hair samurai style made me weepy.
Why am I amused that Ewan Mcgregor's wife plays Hera? So far she is hitting every beat though.
How tf did we go from the end of Rebels to Sabine being a PADAWAN?!?! WHAT?!?
Do Jedis not need to be Force sensitive anymore? Genuine question.
Also now that I know that, though, this meme is hysterical times 7
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I'm shocked Jacen is on here and i feel like I'm going to be crying over Kanan at some point before the season is over
Rosario crosses her arms too much? I'm gonna have to go back to CW and see if Ahsoka does it that much cuz only 4 episodes in and it feels excessive
Sabine pulling a Scorpion from Mortal Kombat move on the red saber BA was awesome
I'm glad the Witches are getting representation in the live action universe
Baylan Scoll is EXTREMELY magnetic and I'm wishing I knew his back story
Sabine...I knew you were gonna fold but I wasn't any less disappointed knowing that it was coming
Oh, Ahsoka going out to hang out ON her ship to defend against fighters? W I L D. My brother was like, "Crazy shit as ever." Honestly.
Ahsoka got to the World Between Worlds...how? Cuz she almost died or is dying? I'm gonna be interested to see how that works.
I THOUGHT I HAD TIL EPISODE 5 BEFORE ANAKIN BUT THEY USED HIM FOR A CLIFFHANGER ENDING ON EPISODE 4, FFFFFFFFF
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weirdmorefics · 2 years ago
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Can I Plz Request a Eloise Bridgerton X Male Reader.
Where Eloise Is heart broken because she broke her friendship she had with Theo and she’s all mad and sad and so she has no one to talk to so she comes to us.
When’s She’s Mad And Unloads Her Anger In Y/N By Hitting His Chest Nonstop And Y/N Stands There Holding Her And Telling Her To Let It All Out.
These Scenes Are Not Appreciated That Much Lol Hopefully it’s not that much Anyways hope you have a nice Day/Night
Let’s Take A Breath First
A/N- Hope you have a great day/night as well!
Warnings- Spoilers for season two
Pronouns- He/Him
Word Count- 578
Summary- The ball the Bridgertons intended to have does not go as planned when Lady Whistledown releases a scandalous piece of gossip about our dear Eloise. 
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Eloise’s POV
I do not know where I am running I just knew I had to leave. I could feel my family's disappointing gazes bore into my soul. I broke my friendship with Theo for nothing. Now he thinks I’m some snob that only belongs in high society all for nothing. Make no mistake I will find Lady Whistledown and make her pay. I however can not focus on that goal because I feel like I am suffocating in my emotions. Tears block my vision but my feet lead me just where I need to be. Before I know it I am knocking at Y/n’s door.
“Eloise what are you doing here? Isn’t your Mother throwing a ball tonight?” Y/n asks confused.
“You have obviously not read Lady Whistledown because I surely ruined the ball and my whole family's reputation,” I shout at him even though I know he doesn’t deserve but I know he is the only one who will listen.
“Slow down I am sure you could not have ruined it. I mean what’s the worst you can do rant about women's rights at inopportune times?” He says trying to lighten the mood.
“You don’t understand Lady Whistledown has ruined my life! My family's life! She has to be stopped! She can’t get away with this!” I pace back and forth but it does nothing to ease my nerves.
“I am sure you will stop her! You have been working with Queen Charlotte to end her Whistledown. I am sure you will find a way to discredit her you are brilliant!” He assures me but at this moment I do not feel brilliant I feel like an idiot. He holds me still so I finally stop pacing but I feel like my whole body is shaking and I need to keep moving.
I hit my fist on his chest to hopefully continue my pacing but wracked sobs came out of my mouth. “I am the farthest thing from brilliant if I were so brilliant I would have never gone to that print shop. I would have not befriended Theo unchaperoned! My Mother has always warned me of the scandals of being unchaperoned and a brilliant person would have listened!” I annunciate my words as best as I can but the sobs make it hard. I hit my fist against his chest with every point. I hope he gets mad at me, everyone should be mad at me I ruined everything with my obsession.
Instead of getting mad he pet my head and hushed me calmly. Why is he not mad? He should be mad.
“What is wrong with you? Why do you not hold great disdain for me by now!” I shout at him but he still is not mad.
“Eloise I will be here for you no matter what. Even if you make a mistake I know you will fix it in no time because you are the most intelligent woman I know.” He whispers to me like if he talks too loud I will run away.
I mumble a quiet thank you in response. “Can we stay like this for a little while? Immediately after though I will devise a plan to destroy Lady Whistledown.”
He brushes my hair lightly behind my ear, “I am sure you devise a most devious plan but let’s take a breath first.”
I nod, close my eyes and take a deep breath. Lady Whistledown will soon face her own downfall.
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bluejayblueskies · 3 years ago
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10 for the hug prompts with JonMartin? 🥺
touches prompt list
10 - hiding their face in the other’s neck
a no-fears au where jon and martin are in an established relationship! cw for nausea and a brief mention of vomiting (doesn't actually occur)
.
Jon doesn’t do roller coasters.
It is not, despite what Tim says when he thinks Jon isn’t listening, because he’s a, quote, ‘old man at heart’ and doesn’t know how to have fun. In theory, Jon is actually rather fond of roller coasters. He’d watched a documentary once about the design of them, and it had been rather fascinating.
It’s not because Jon doesn’t like roller coasters. It’s…
Well. It’s probably more accurate to say that roller coasters don’t like him. Specifically, his sense of equilibrium and his digestive system. Pills help somewhat, if he remembers to take them, but the fact of the matter is that he’s much more likely to leave the ride with a feeling of intense nausea than of exhilaration. He just… gets motion sick. No way around it. He always sits in the front seat of cars, ensures that he’s in a forward-facing train seat at all times, rarely travels by boat, and… avoids roller coasters.
The fact that he is currently standing in the queue for a particularly large and particularly frightening-looking roller coaster is not, therefore, due to his overwhelming love for them. It is instead entirely due to his overwhelming love for the man standing next to him, eyes bright and excited as he explains the history of this particular roller coaster. His hand is warm and soft in Jon’s, and their clasped hands swing absently back and forth as they slowly inch forward in the queue. His curls are a shock of auburn against the sky, and when he laughs and squeezes Jon’s hand, Jon forgets his anxiety entirely for a moment, lost in a wave of affection and fondness.
“—and because it’s the twenty-fifth anniversary of the ride,” Martin says with a wide grin, “it’ll be running backward today! Well, all season, I- I suppose, but we’re here today, so…”
Jon has never been on a roller coaster that’s traveled backward. It does… not sound appealing.
“That’s… very exciting,” Jon says with a smile, trying to make the words sound as genuine as possible. Because he is a coward. Or, perhaps, just very in love. Maybe both.
It’s just… Martin had been so excited when he’d dropped the amusement park tickets in front of Jon a few weeks ago. And in the four months or so that they’ve been dating, Jon has found it increasingly hard to say things that will cause that wide, unabashed smile on Martin’s face to dim even in the slightest. So Jon had discretely taken several motion sickness pills before they’d left that morning and had told himself that there were plenty of other things to do at an amusement park besides roller coasters and spinning rides and other things that make it their personal mission to tie Jon’s stomach into knots.
And then Martin had spent the entire train ride rambling about the various roller coasters and how he’d always wanted to go to an amusement park but he’d never been able to find the time or the money before and how he’s never been on a roller coaster but they look so fun, and Jon just… hadn’t been able to tell him.
It’ll be fine, he tells himself as they finally reach the front of the queue, the brightly colored cars sitting empty in front of them. It’ll be… completely, totally fine. Nothing to worry about.
They sit a few rows from the front. The click of the restraints makes Jon’s stomach squeeze with nerves, and he swallows around the lump in his throat. He doesn’t realize that he’s gripping the bar in front of him with white knuckles until Martin says gently, “Hey. Is… everything okay?”
No, but it’s certainly too late to change my mind now, Jon does not say.
“Yes,” Jon says, loosening his grip with considerable effort. It’s fine. “Just… b-been a while since I was on one of these.”
Technically not a lie.
“Oh!” Martin gives him a soft smile that makes his heart stutter in his chest. “Well, it’ll be a… new experience for both of us then, I suppose.”
The car jerks into motion, and Jon’s hands tighten instinctively on the bar again. It’s a… disconcerting effect, to be moving backward rather than forward, and one that Jon is decidedly not fond of. They exit the staging area and begin to climb up the first of the many, many hills Jon had eyed warily from their place in the queue. Jon looks straight ahead and does not look down and tries to breathe through his nose.
A warm hand covers his, and Jon looks over to see Martin watching him, that same soft smile on his lips. Martin squeezes gently, and Jon relaxes, just a fraction.
Then, the car tips over the peak of the hill and begins to accelerate, and Jon’s world blurs into a mess of colors and sensations.
The only part of the ride that Jon enjoys is the fact that it’s over quickly. By the time the car rolls to a halt—after a terrifying sequence of loops and drops and harsh curves and tight spirals—Jon feels as if his insides have been scooped out, stuffed in a washing machine, tumble dried, and then pushed back into him at all the wrong angles. Martin’s hand is still gripping his, somehow, and it remains there as they exit the car and make their way down the ramp and into the main thoroughfare. Jon’s legs feel boneless, like they’re made of jelly, and he is deeply afraid that if he opens his mouth, he is going to empty the contents of his stomach onto the pavement below.
Gentle hands are on Jon’s shoulders then, and Jon finds himself guided onto a metal bench just a few meters away from the exit ramp. Jon tries to protest that he’s fine—they have limited time here and he doesn’t need to take a break—but his stomach rolls and he pinches his lips shut before he manages to form a single word. When a hand settles on his upper back and presses down gently, he finally gives in to the urge to bend over and tuck his head between his knees in an effort to alleviate some of the lingering vertigo.
“Breathe, Jon,” Martin says, and Jon does. He takes a few deep breaths, and when a particularly powerful wave of nausea overtakes him, he can’t help the groan that escapes him. “I know,” Martin says softly, moving his hand in soothing circles on Jon’s back. “Just keep breathing, Jon. We can get some water in a bit, just… for now, let’s sit.”
Jon is too nauseous to be properly embarrassed by the coddling. That situation changes quickly as the minutes pass and Jon’s stomach begins to settle. After what must be nearly ten minutes, the nausea has faded entirely, but Jon keeps his head between his knees so he doesn’t have to look at Martin’s face.
“Feeling any better?” Martin prompts, and Jon lets out a slow breath. He nods once, and—with the help of Martin’s hand on his arm—straightens slowly, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the ground as he does so.
“Sorry,” he says, so quietly he isn’t sure Martin can hear him over the din of the crowd.
“You don’t have to apologize for- for feeling sick,” Martin says. He rubs a thumb against Jon’s arm and says, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I- I didn’t think… it would be this bad?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Jon sees Martin give him a look that very clearly expresses his skepticism.
Jon sighs and puts his head in his hands again. “I just… didn’t want to disappoint you, I suppose.”
Martin is, of course, sharper than Jon gives him credit for sometimes. “Because I said I’d never had the chance to go on a roller coaster before?”
Jon nods miserably. “I-in my defense, I thought you would start with something significantly less… gravity-defying.”
“Jon,” Martin says, kindly and patiently yet with a chastising edge to it. “You could have waited by the exit.”
“I—I didn’t…” Jon feels the tips of his ears grow warm. “I didn’t want to leave you.”
“Oh,” Martin says, his voice pitched a touch higher than normal. “That’s… um, r-really sweet, actually.”
Jon is glad that Martin can’t see his face because he’s sure whatever expression would have crossed it just then would have been utterly sappy and mortifying.
“B-but I—I don’t want you to make yourself sick on my account,” Martin hastens to say. “There are loads of other things to do here. W-we don’t have to ride the roller coasters.”
Jon uncovers his face and looks at Martin. “But you want to ride the roller coasters.”
Martin worries his bottom lip between his teeth. He doesn’t deny it. Instead, he says, “I… also want to spend time with you, Jon. D-doing things we both want to do, not… not just me.”
Jon stares at Martin and thinks, not for the first time, that he loves him. But it’s still too early to say it, probably, and he’s certainly not going to do so sitting on a sticky metal bench surrounded by children and tired-eyed parents. So all he says, in the end, is, “If… if you’re sure.”
Martin takes Jon’s hand in his and squeezes gently. “I am.” Then, he gives Jon a wide, soft smile that has Jon’s stomach twisting all over again. “So. What do you do at amusement parks, then?”
Jon flushes. But Martin doesn’t laugh at him when he mumbles that he’s actually quite fond of carousels. Instead, he takes Jon’s hand and walks with him across the park—staying away from the more crowded sections, stopping to buy some horrendously overpriced bottles of water on their way—until they’re standing in front of the carousel, painted in lovely pastel blues and yellows.
Jon, for a moment, feels self-conscious and more than a bit childish. But then Martin squeezes his hand and says, without a hint of teasing, “So, what animal do you prefer?” and the tension in Jon’s shoulders melts away in an instant.
Jon learns that Martin likes the classic horses, manes painted gold and plastic saddles a bright cherry red. (And Martin is entirely unsurprised to find that Jon chooses the cat, every time.) He learns, as they continue to explore the amusement park, that Martin likes caramel apples but hates how they get stuck in his teeth. (He purchases one anyway, rolled in peanuts and little rainbow sprinkles, that gives Jon a toothache just looking at it.) He learns that Martin does not appreciate his explanation that the monsters on the haunted house ride are ‘just dummies’ and ‘obviously fake’ and ‘really, Martin, that’s not even the correct number of bones in a human skeleton.’ (Though he secretly treasures the way that Martin clings to his side in the car and hides his face in Jon’s neck, his curls tickling the sensitive skin just underneath Jon’s chin.)
And Martin, apparently, learns that Jon is strangely good at midway games.
“You know those things are totally rigged, right?” Martin says, staring at Jon in disbelief as he tries and fails to adjust his grip on the frankly enormous plush teddy bear the midway worker had begrudgingly surrendered to him. And the medium-sized plush cat he’d won earlier. And the dozen or so little plushies and trinkets and accessories he’d acquired along the way. “You’re not supposed to be able to win.”
“Yes, well.” Jon gives up on trying to find a comfortable way to carry his prizes and extends the massive teddy toward Martin. “I suppose I’m just… lucky.”
He is certainly not going to admit that he spent a good three days researching what to do on a carnival date, came to the conclusion that it would be romantic to win an enormous stuffed animal for Martin, and committed himself to memorizing which games were easiest to win and what strategies he should employ in order to have the best chance at success. That would be… well. A bit much, he thinks. Best to just… not mention it.
Martin carries the teddy all the way back to his flat, his cheeks flushing a lovely pink whenever an occasional curious glance is thrown in their direction. It’s only once they get there and Martin tries to pass the plushie back to Jon with a sheepish, “Suppose I better give this back now,” that Jon realizes he had… indeed not been very clear about his intentions.
“It’s… for you, actually,” Jon says, ignoring the way his cheeks are growing steadily warmer. Then, Jon takes a breath and pushes the rest of the plushies rather unceremoniously into Martin’s arms, save for the cat which he’s… grown rather attached to in their short acquaintanceship. “Th-they all are. Er. F-for you.”
“O-oh.” Martin looks down at the collection of brightly colored things in his arms, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. “I—I… really?”
Jon hugs the cat tightly to his chest, feeling something like embarrassment curl in his stomach. “I-if you don’t want them, I—I can—”
“No!” Martin says quickly, curling his arms protectively around the plushies. “I—I do. W-want them.” He looks down at the teddy sitting by his feet, then up at Jon with a warm, shy smile on his face. “Th-thanks, Jon.”
I love him, I love him, I love him.
Jon nods, pinches his lips together, and tries to keep his affection contained. He doesn’t want to come on too strong, after all. That’s… something he’s not meant to do, he thinks.
Then, when they’re both lying in bed and Martin’s chest is pressed against Jon’s back, his arm curled around Jon’s middle and his nose buried in Jon’s hair, Martin murmurs, “I love you,” and Jon’s breath catches in his throat.
“I… I love you too,” he whispers. And it’s such an easy thing to say that Jon wonders why he’d ever worried at all.
Martin makes a sleepy, contented noise, burrowing closer and wrapping Jon more tightly in his arms. And because he can—he can, he can, Martin said it first, so he can—Jon says again, so quietly he isn’t sure Martin can hear it: “I love you.”
The words are sweet on his tongue, like candy floss and funnel cakes and caramel apples.
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queerchoicesblog · 2 years ago
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A Star Is Born (Chapter 1, TSHOEH)
So, folks, this is the very beginning of my Celia St. James POV TSHOEH fanfiction series. This is pretty much of an introduction so, if you like this, stay tuned for chapter 2: the rehearsals of Little Women are on their way and so is the encounter that will change Celia’s life. I don’t have to spell it out, right? 😉
Hope you guys enjoy it and, if you do, consider reblogging it: a little gesture, a huge help to spread the word!
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I don’t think I will ever forget the day I got a call from the Sunset Studios for the new Ariel ‘s movie.
One morning in May I was unpacking boxes in my new place, a nice apartment in a rather fancy but not too pretentious neighborhood of Los Angeles, when Viola, my help, announced me I had a producer of Sunset holding the line for me.
I mean, I was kinda expecting this to happen.
Everyone had been so impressed by my performance in Winds of War, a tear-jerking war-period drama, earlier that year: I didn’t get an accolade nor a nomination for it but the audience and the folks in the industry went wild for me. A review signed by an influential critic recited: “Who knew a teen girl could not only look plausible in the role of a courageous widow and mother but also nail the depth of it? Well, Celia St. James did it and effortlessly, stealing the scene to seasoned professionals. So, remember this name, folks, because I have a feeling it won’t fade away anytime soon: a star is born”. I still cherish a copy of it.
I would be lying if I say I wasn’t on cloud nine for my success: my heart suddenly filled with an ambition so far unknown to me. I did it at last, this was my ticket to the top, I felt it with every fiber of my being and it went all back to me: I had practiced hard with my scout, I had studied the Method and fought with my family to be an actress. I had left my life in Georgia behind for this. I jumped on a plane to Los Angeles and never looked back, no regrets, because I knew this was the life for me, no matter if I succeeded or not: I just had to try. I wanted so badly to send a copy of the magazine officialising my triumph to my parents and sisters but I refrained. They didn’t notice nor care or maybe they simply ignore it as a piece of irrelevant news involving their very disappointing daughter; only my brother Robert called briefly to congratulate.
So, I must confess that the call from the Sunset Studios didn’t exactly surprise me. If anything, it flattered me because it meant that studios were truly engaging in a bidding war for me now: if the audience love you, if critics love you, you’re a golden goose and everybody wants you. Apparently, the rampant Sunset Studios prevailed and I was about to go freelance.
I took a deep breath before picking up the phone.
“Hallo?”.
“Hi, Celia! It’s Harry Cameron, exec of Sunset Studios here. Do you have a moment for me?”.
I had seen him around town, in the hotspots where celebrities gathered. He was young but God knows if he wasn’t making a name in Hollywood. Not even thirty and already a mogul: that guy had blood and ambition flowing in his veins. So, he was the guy I needed.
“Sure, Harry. Can I call you so?”.
“You can call me however you like: you’re a rising star, Celia”.
He had read the review, I thought, and I smiled against the phone.
“First of all, let me tell you one thing” he continued. “How dare you make me cry a river in the dark of a theater? I have a reputation, you know”.
“Well, I don’t think I’m truly sorry about it, Harry, because I doubt you are calling me just to blame me for making you cry” I said, summoning all my confidence. “Am I wrong?”.
He laughed on the other side.
“I like your attitude, Celia. Scratch it, I love it and I adore you!”
That man could charm anyone, I smiled to myself.
“Well, dear Celia, I was wondering…could you do it again?”.
“Do what?”.
“Be your memorable self and make the whole world cry with just one look”.
He took a dramatic pause, which I wagered was calculated from the very start.
“But for us this time. In Little Women”.
I had heard of this project, it was the rumor of the town: the new picture of Ari Sullivan was bound to be a guarantee hit at the box office. I mean, nobody can never know for sure but with all the buzz around it even before the beginning of the shootings it was pretty clear that it would have been a big thing. And I had to be a part of it.
“Little Women, huh? Well, why not?” I pretended to act nonchalant: never make them understand how much you really want it.
“Tell me yes, Celia, then? And stop by at my office tomorrow…let’s say 11.30 am?”.
——————————-
Of course I went meeting him: I wasn’t stupid, I knew we have to seize the moment before it’s too late. Carpe diem, right?
Harry greeted me with a dashing smile and a firm handshake, guiding me into his office where Ari Sullivan was waiting for us. I had heard rumors about him, the lascivious kind of rumors, and by the way he looked at me, better stared at my chest and legs as I shifted and crossed them told me each one of it was true. I swallowed down the sour disgust I felt for that man.
Predictably, Harry did all the talking: he had always had charming ways that suited the industry marvelously. He joked, flattered and explained everything in great detail.
They wanted to cast me for Beth. I’d suspected that it was the role they would offer me: it made sense after my tearjerker role in the war drama but I had secret hopes of my own. I knew they had plenty of Sunset Studio actresses to appear in their movies by contract, audience heroines like Ruby Reilly and Joy Nathan. I knew all of this but I was hoping to have been at least considered for the role of Jo: I loved her and well, I wanted to play the same role my idol Katherine Hepburn once starred in.
It was clear, though, that the thought of giving me that part never crossed their minds as soon as they dropped the name of the lucky leading pick: Evelyn Hugo. What a fool I had been to think I could stand a chance against her! I mean, I had seen a few movies of her and in my opinion, just like Ruby and Joy, she wasn’t that good but she was the wife of Don Adler and everyone loved her. Well, the last part didn’t seem hard to get and subscribe to: maybe Evelyn lacked a little finesse in her acting skills but she was born for the camera. She was the most beautiful woman I - and surely the world too - had ever seen with her unique odd beauty, a mix of exotic and quintessentially American. Her sultry smile was a promise of Heaven. In addition to that, she had won the Audience Appreciation for Best Rising Star last year. She was on top of the world.
Of course, they would cast her for Jo. So, I put on my best professional smile and graciously accepted my defeat against a diva yet out of my league. We must pick our battles and I knew all too well that I couldn’t win against such a gorgeous Goliath.
“I’ll be your Beth, Harry, Mr. Sullivan. I can’t wait to get started”.
Harry smiled at me, falling back on his chair.
“That’s the spirit, Celia! We’re incredibly happy to have you on board, huh, Ari?”.
He simply nodded, lightening up a cigar. I hated the smell of cigar so I decided to focus on Harry’s enthusiastic speech to help me deal with it.
“With Ruby, Joy, Evelyn and now rising star Celia St. James we have a dream team at our arrow, I’d say” he was saying.
“Hope I will fit in” I commented, shy.
Harry looked at me for a moment then leaned closer over his desk.
“You will, Celia. Don’t worry about that”.
And he winked at me, as if we were old pals.
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bokutosworld · 4 years ago
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convenience store stranger | suna rintarou
pairing: suna x f!reader  word count, genre: 2.1k words, college au. fluff. another meet cute story lol.  warning: none  summary: in which your late shifts become less boring and more interesting when a cute stranger stumbles in at 2 AM.  a/n: my first time writing for suna god im scared but i really liked how this turned out!! 
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The first time he meets you happens on one of his late night convenience store runs. It was exams season and Suna’s been pulling all-nighter after all-nighter. To say he was exhausted would’ve been an understatement. 
He’s barely making it through on the third night and if he didn’t take a break soon, he was sure he’d have passed out on his desk. With his mind hazy from reading too many words and trying to understand a semester’s worth of lessons in one night, he decides to stand up and get some fresh air. 
Which is how he found himself currently standing at aisle four of the only convenience store that was still open near his apartment. He scans the rack for something that can wake him and his brain up. He doesn’t know how long he’s been standing but he could definitely feel eyes burning holes in the back of his head. 
He settles on a pack of jelly sticks and a cup of spicy instant noodles and heads towards the counter. You mutter a greeting when he reaches the cashier and begin scanning his items. 
When he hands over the cash for payment, your fingers brush with his cold ones, making you recoil harshly as if he was repulsing.
“Something wrong?” He laughs when he sees your reaction. “I know I look like a mess now but I won’t bite you.” He bends his knees slightly, tilting his head to get a look at your embarrassed face.
“No, I’m sorry.” You avoid his intense gaze, continuing to pack his purchase. When you look at him, he’s still staring with his piercing eyes that it almost takes your breath away. 
Shaking your head to bring yourself to reality, you give him his items. “Your hands felt cold and I was just shocked.” You feel that same electricity sparking between you again when he takes the bag from you. “I.. well.. thank you. Have a great evening.”
“It’s 2 AM,” Suna chuckles and you sigh before correcting yourself and bowing to him in goodbye. “See you around,” he shouts over his back as he walks out the door. It was the first time he saw you in that store and he was sure it wasn’t going to be the last. 
The second time he’d actually planned it according to your shift. If his past trips to the store were anything to go by, he’d learned that you always took the evening shift. It was something he discovered after being called out by your co-worker on the third time that he restlessly looked around the store during a visit. 
He should be on his bed, phone in his hand as he mindlessly scrolled until he fell asleep. But with the memory of his interaction with you lingering on his mind, he wanted to see you.
“Hey, got time for a customer?” He greets the moment he steps inside the empty convenience store. You look up from the book that you were reading and quickly stand to welcome him. “What are you reading?” 
Hiding the book from his view, you retort, “Aren’t you going to buy something?” 
He grins, taking in your tired disposition and the bags that had formed under your eyes before retreating to the shelves. When he returns, he slides over a can of energy drink, iced coffee, and a large bag of chips. 
You assume he’d leave immediately once he’s paid for everything. You certainly didn’t expect him to take out the coffee and give it to you. 
“This is for you.” He opens his own drink and leans by the counter. “Doesn’t it ever get boring here? I mean it’s midnight and you’re alone. I’m betting not many people even drop by at this time.” He faces the door, crossing his arms around his chest and staring at both of your reflections at the glass. 
Worn out from your classes in the day, you take his coffee offering, instantly feeling the rush of caffeine flow through your veins and waking you up. “The job pays relatively well. Besides I can’t really work in the mornings, I have uni.”
“So you’re a college student too.” He turns around and extends a hand out to you. “I’m Suna Rintarou.”
You introduce yourself as you shake hands with him. And as soon as pleasantries were exchanged, he immediately launched into a story about how his earlier day went. He was a natural conversationalist and despite this being your first time talking with him, you didn’t feel an ounce of awkwardness. You didn’t know what it was about him but his presence made you feel comfortable. 
You learned about what he was studying (to your surprise, Psychology), how he spends his weekends playing volleyball (he was a middle blocker and an excellent one at that, he boasted), and how he ended up here during the night he first saw you (the all-nighter went well and he passed all his exams). 
He rips open the chips he bought and offers you some as you lay your story before him. He munches as he listened to you rant about how you loathed your course (Business Management) and the many case studies and papers you had to do each day. He nods his head in understanding as you explain why you needed this part-time job (to pay for apartment fees). 
You were having so much fun in his company that you didn’t notice the time pass by. (He arrived to the store at 12:32 AM. The clock on the wall now reads 2:32 AM). And for the duration of his stay, you were surprised that no one ever came by. He only ever left your side when a taxi driver walked in. 
Suna steered clear from the counter and kept his distance as you did your job. From your peripheral, you could see that he watched you like a hawk from the side and it made you somehow conscious. When the customer exited, you playfully threw a tissue at him, 
“I couldn’t concentrate when you were standing there and looking at me like that!” 
He went back to his position but this time, he leaned close with his hands on the counter. “Like what?"  
Well how could you say to him that you thought he looked effortlessly hot in his sweatshirt and track pants? And was that an adorably messy bedhead? How could you say that you liked the teasing smile that he’d been giving you throughout the night?  
You chuckle and shake your head, “Nothing.” You reach for the book you were reading prior his arrival and took your seat. “Don’t you have classes tomorrow? You should go back.”
“Do you not want me around anymore?” 
“It’s not that, I…”
He cuts you off, “Good, then it’s settled. I’m not going anywhere. I like talking with you too much to go back home. Let me entertain you some more.” He sits down at the chair on one of the tables near the counter and then goes back to chatting with you. 
Since that night, Suna had been scheduling more trips to the convenience store. Sometimes, he’d really only visit to bother you. At times, he’d bring his books and laptop with him so he could work on a paper while you restocked the shelves and cleaned around. On rare occasions, he’d help you out on a business plan and the customers who’d enter the store would be amused at the sight of you and him huddled behind the counter with your serious thinking faces on. 
He’d become a part of your life that it felt unnerving not to have him around on your shifts. And it certainly showed on your face how disappointed and heartbroken you were when consecutive nights passed without his visits. Your co-worker even called you out on it. 
“So where’s the cutie been?” She asked one time when the two of you were at the back lounge while you logged in for your shift. You groan at the nickname she gave him and she laughs at you.
“How would I know?” 
“Don’t you guys talk almost every day and night?”
“Only on nights that he visits me.” You pause, thinking about the possibilities why he could’ve stopped coming. And before you knew it, you were ranting. “God, are we even friends? I don’t know his number. Did he ghost me? Is this considered ghosting? It’s been a week. I’m scared I did or said something.” 
She’s watching you pace around the room. “Maybe he got bored of me. Or maybe he realized I’m not really worth his time and dipped. Sleeping is much better than hanging out with me at 1 AM anyway.”
You’re stopped in your tracks when she suddenly grabs your shoulders. “Overthinking is not a good look on you.” She makes you take deep breaths to calm down. “I’m sure he’s just busy right now. He’ll visit again soon.” 
“I don’t know why I’m being like this.” 
The look she gives you is incredulous, her mouth gaping wide at your statement. “Are you serious?” 
“What?” You ask, not anticipating the next words that would come from her. 
“It’s obvious that you like him.” 
The next time you see him was on campus. You don’t know how long it’s been since he last spent time with you on your shift. (Though if you were counting, you were definitely sure that it’s been two weeks and three days since then.) 
You tried not to think too much about what his absence could mean but the pang in your heart never left. Those two weeks that he didn’t show up allowed you some time to think about your conversation with your friend. You like him. 
Back then, you were too quick to shut down the idea. Denying any ounce of feeling for the boy as you saw him as no more than someone who had too much time on his hands to bother you on your shifts. A good friend is what you specifically used to defend your relationship with him. 
So then why was it that your heart was beating so rapidly as Suna waved at you from across the cafeteria? Why couldn’t you stop smiling as you watched him make his way to your table and sit down beside you?
“Hey there.” He slings his arms around and pulls you for a side hug. “Long time no see.” 
You almost couldn’t hear him over the loud thumping of your heart in your ears. He’s still smiling and waiting for you to reply. “Yeah, been a while. I’ve gotten the peace and quiet back in my shifts.” 
He breaks out in laughter while opening a snack bar. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to stop by. I just came out from a major presentation that I’ve been preparing for during the past weeks. And guess what?” 
You perk your eyebrows at his question. “What?” 
“Our group did great.” He raises a hand for a high-five and you indulge him. “The teacher liked our slides and our analysis of the topic. Ah, I feel so good right now!” He leans back with his hands behind his head, but he suddenly jerks. 
“We should go out!” Suna grabs your hands and looks at you expectantly. “You’re free the whole day tomorrow right? You’re not working the shift? Let’s celebrate. It’s my treat!” 
Feeling overwhelmed by his invitation and his overall excitedness, you laugh and pull back. “Calm down, Suna. I don’t know about tomorrow.” 
“Why? Are you busy?”
“Not really but..” 
“Then it shouldn’t be a problem.” He tucks a loose hair behind your ear, leaning close with his voice barely over a whisper, “It’s perfect. I’ve wanted to take you on a date for a long time now.” 
“What?” You stare at him wide-eyed. 
“Come on, you’ve never thought about us?” He finds the situation entertaining. Your flustered reaction reminds him of the night that he met you. 
“Why do you think I’ve been coming to the convenience store when I could be sleeping at that time? I like being around you. My day doesn’t feel complete if I don’t at least see you or tell you about my day or listen to you rant about the latest episode of your favorite series.”
You like him. 
“Go out with me.” He kisses the back of your hand. “Please?” 
The corners of your lips unconsciously curves up and Suna sends your heart doing somersaults when he says something about how he’s finally got to see the beautiful smile he’s been wanting to see for weeks. 
Your friend was right. You do like him.  
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xaerais · 2 years ago
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❗S4 VOL. 2 SPOILERS ❗
Unpopular opinion, but I think Max Mayfield should’ve died this season, and Eddie Munson should’ve lived.
And in NO WAY is this hate towards Sadie Sink or her character. I adore Max with all my heart, and Sadie brought her to life in such an amazing way with such a spectacular performance.
However, I’m upset the Duffer Brothers are too scared to kill off a main character of the show, especially when they were SO CLOSE. So, let me explain why I believe Max should’ve stayed dead, and Eddie should’ve lived.
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For starters, Stranger Things has always been a heartwrenching show. It’s always been extreme, and with each new season, this story is somehow taken to the next level.
And when new characters are added seemingly every new season, the fanbase falls in love with them almost instantly, and become attached; as well as excited to see where they’ll end up.
Now, we’ve had Max since S2 and got the opportunity to see her grow and become an important part of the main cast. In S3, her relationship with Eleven grew, and she became valued by the original party members from S1 and any fans, really, that’ve been watching from the very beginning. With the death of her brother, however, and the suffering she’s endured henceforth from Vecna’s curse, and even herself and her own mental state struggling to maintain a good relationship with Lucas and the rest of her friends, we’ve gotten to witness first hand how her character has severely pulled back.
This behavior only continues and worsens throughout the course of S4, up until Vol. 2 released showing us that she had no problem with dying right up until she was held in Lucas’ arms sobbing about not being ready yet.
Already, that was a heartbreaking moment for us viewers to watch. And it was only that heartbreaking because we believed this was actually the end for her character as a whole. That Vecna finally got her, and that their well-thought-out plan to kill Vecna still didn’t work the way they wanted it to.
But the impact that moment had—even with El who couldn’t physically be there, yet was seen still mourning for her friend—seemed to dissipate in an instant. All in all, I am SO annoyed El “saved”/kept Max alive.
I understand that, yes, El wanted to at least do something for her friend, and that if any of us were in the same situation, we’d try to do something too. But she did when she attempted to piggyback and keep her safe. They took away the one aspect I personally love most in writing that I think they should’ve kept.
When even despite doing everything a person can do to save someone, it still isn't enough.
If the Duffer Brothers weren’t so afraid of killing off their main cast, Max was definitely one of the few characters that should’ve stayed dead. Because it hurts more, leaves a bigger impact on what’s to come next. And with a solid plan to defeat Vecna, and El even coming to her aid yet STILL being killed off? Oh man that would’ve been so good.
That’s good writing for a tragedy. A new kind of pain that Stranger Things could’ve been known for, and that other really big shows haven’t been afraid to do yet continue to thrive even after they’ve ended. (i.e. Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead).
And going back to what I was saying earlier about Eddie, oh man, he had so much potential and so much depth for a character to be killed off as quickly as he was. For Chrissy, it might’ve been acceptable because she was introduced and then killed in the same episode. But for a character to be introduced in a new season, then killed in the same one when he had evidently WAY more room to grow? It was a poor choice on the Duffer Brothers’ part. He was already super loveable thanks to Joe Quinn’s fantastic efforts, and there was ultimately just so much more to him we should’ve been able to see before his untimely and overall pointless death.
All of it felt wrong to me, so at this point I’m just... curious to see where they go in S5. I pray they don’t disappoint us as much as they did with S4’s season finale. Stranger Things had such a good thing going for them!
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pale-silver-comb · 5 years ago
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So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.
In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 
I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:
1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.
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2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 
Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.
Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)
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Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 
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Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 
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I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.
3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  
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4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  
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5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  
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Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 
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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years ago
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Moments We Knew // Colin Bridgerton
Request: Hello! I’m so excited that you’re writing for Bridgerton and I was wondering if I could request a fic? Maybe one where Colin is courting the reader, what it would involve and their first kiss? Basically just some Colin fluff that’s too sweet :)) - anon
A/N: Oh this request is so sweet! Thank you so much for requesting! I can only hope I have done it justice. The other requests in my inbox will become my priority for next weekend! 
Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Fem!Reader
Warnings: female reader, courting, courtship, fluff, cute, mentions of food and drink, the British Museum is mentioned (I have to apologise for that lol), kissing, pining, instant love, love at first sight and all that jazz.
Word count: 4k
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One:
“Miss (Y/L/N), would you do me the honour of saving me a spot on your dance card?”
Your eyes widen at his words, but you nod your head regardless, unable to deny the blue eyes and sweet face of Colin Bridgerton.
“I shall find you soon,” He promises before walking away, leaving you to question the last few minutes of your life.
You had spoken to the Bridgerton before; had dined in their company too, but you had never danced with one. It was to be something you would never forget, that was for certain.
Strolling around the ballroom, you truly did not hold much hope for tonight. Having been out in society for a few seasons now, you did not think there would be much interest tonight bar the Bridgerton who had kindly asked you to save him a dance.
Sighing softly, you reach the table covered with glasses of lemonade. Reaching for one, you eye the couples already taking to the floor for the first dance of the evening. Eager young hopefuls, all curious to know whether they would meet their love match tonight.
A flicker of excitement begins to stir as the music begins the couples start to twirl across the floor; the women’s skirt billowing out from under them as the men look every dashing in their suits. You think to Colin, wondering briefly where he is as you think of how it would be to dance with such a man.
“Did you save me that dance?” A voice asks from behind you.
Startling slightly, you only just manage to keep hold of your glass. “I have,” You reply, holding up your dance card where Colin’s name is written.
“Perfect,” He grins, “Shall we dance now?”
“Why not?” You answer, placing your glass down and taking his open hand.
Colin’s hand is soft as he places it on the small of your back, pulling you to him ever so slightly. Your hand rests on his shoulder whilst his free hand wraps around yours. Your skin tingles in all the places his hands rest; it’s an addictive feeling, you come to realise.
The band strikes up and the couples on the floor begin their dance. Colin begins to lead you with confidence; evidence of his upbringing alive in the way he directs his feet whilst holding you steady. Dance lessons were a must for all offspring of London society; it was not a gendered activity.
“How are you finding the evening?” Colin asks, leading you across the floor.
“Am I to be truthful?” You ask, smiling coyly at the brunette.
“I find that would be best,” Colin responds, his own sly smile written across his face.
“Then I shall have to say that I was rather bored until you asked me to dance. This is sure to be the highlight of my evening.”
Colin spins you out before replying. “How odd,” He murmurs quietly though you hear him perfectly over the band, “I was thinking the exact same thing.”
A startled laugh leaves you at his words; one that Colin finds himself joining in with as he continues to lead you around the ballroom. Many couples watch on; curious to know what it is that has you both laughing and smiling the way that you are. You find yourself delighting in the act that you are to have a secret with the third eldest Bridgerton; a secret you could revisit whenever you wanted.
The dance comes to an end; the music rising for one last crescendo before falling silent. Stepping back from the Bridgerton, your chest rises heavily due to the pace of the music and the dance. You smile softly at Colin, “Thank you for the dance. It was wonderful.”
“Join me for one more?” He asks; his voice close to pleading as if he doesn’t want to let you go just yet, doesn’t want to see you walk away from him without knowing if he’ll ever see you again.
Your eyes wander over his face; finding the desperation in his eyes and noting that you feel the same way. You find yourself hating the idea of walking away from this man just yet; not just because of how much fun you had had when dancing with him, but because you feel that if you were to walk away from him in this very moment, you would be making a choice you would surely come to regret.
You take his hand; revelling in the way his fingers close around yours as he leads you to the dancefloor once more. Lining yourself up, you do not look away from his blue stare, finding yourself enraptured by him and more than happy to stay that way.
The music begins, and once more, you fall into step with your future.
Two:
Wandering into the drawing room, the previous night felt like a dream. The ache in your feet being the only sign that you had indeed danced the night away with the third eldest Bridgerton.
“Good morning, mother,” You greet, settling down at the small tea table.
“Did you enjoy yourself last night?” She asks; her eyes bright with happiness as she takes in the dazed look on your face, already away with the fairies.
“It was wonderful,” You sigh dreamily; remembering how Colin’s hands felt on the small of your back and how he listened to your every word. It felt too good to be true.
“I would not be surprised if he called on you this morning,” Your mother declares from her place by the window. She often sat there; her legs tucked underneath her as she worked on a new stitching pattern, read a new book or simply stared at the view.
“I do not want to get my hopes up,” You confess, fiddling with your fingers nervously. All night you had dreamed of the Bridgerton; his eyes and his smile, the sound of his laughter. If he chose not to call on you, your heart could surely not take it, not after so many seasons of disappointment.
Your mother smiles, “My dear, I feel it within my bones. He shall call on you this morning.”
“Thank you, mother,” You reply graciously before pouring a cup of tea; one for you and the other for your mother. “It looks to be a fine day,” You comment, making light conversation as you add sugar and a splash of milk to your own tea, stirring until you know it will be just the right temperature for you to drink without burning the roof of your mouth and your tongue.
Your mother hums from her place at the window, sipping delicately at her own tea. Suddenly, she sits straighter, her eyes and ears focusing on the streets below. “I do believe a carriage has just pulled up with the Bridgerton initial on its doors.”
“Mother, you jest.”
“I do no such thing,” She protests, stepping away from the window as she catches sight of the dark brunette hair of the Bridgerton boy.
“How do I look?” You worry, now taking your mother seriously, standing to smooth down the patterns of your dress. Already wishing that you had changed into something more fetching than your everyday wear.
Your mother sidles over to you and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. “You look lovely, my dear,” She promises before taking a seat on the nearby couch, knowing that the conversation that was to take place was to be between you and the Bridgerton boy.
Sitting back down, you know you only have mere minutes to collect yourself before Colin walks through the drawing room door. Mere minutes to stop the bouncing of your leg and the worrying of your mind. Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself, already confident in the knowledge that what you feel for Colin is far from platonic and after last night, you felt somewhat confident that he felt something for you too.
“Mr. Colin Bridgerton,” The butler announces to which you stand, barely repressing the urge to fist your hands into your skirts out of nerves.
Colin strides into the drawing room; his eyes scanning the room only for them to light up when they land on you. A large smile spreads across his face and he steps further into the room. “I apologise if I am interrupting anything,” He states politely.
“There was nothing to interrupt other than some tea. Please help yourself,” Your mother smiles from her place on the couch; her eyes dancing between the two of you – a good match is the conclusion she comes to as she takes in the flush of your skin and the smile on Colin’s face.
Colin turns to your mother, bringing out a bouquet of flowers he kept hidden behind his back. “These are for you, Mrs. (Y/L/N).”
Your mother’s eyes widen as she takes in the humble but sweet bouquet offered by the young man. “Thank you,” She states, “They are most unexpected but are very beautiful. I shall have to find a vase.”
“You’re welcome,” Colin responds before bringing out another bouquet. Turning his attention to you, he holds out the delicate collection of flowers. “These are for you,” He murmurs, a note of vulnerability shining through his usual confidence.
“Thank you,” You reply, voice awed at the sight of the gorgeous colours; reds, whites and yellows making up the bouquet, brightening the room instantly. “I shall find a vase for them soon.”
“I had a lot of fun last night,” Colin whispers, his voice loud enough for you but quiet enough that your mother only hears mumblings.
Smiling widely, you reply, “I had fun too. I’ve never enjoyed dancing that much.”
“Me neither,” Colin agrees, thinking back to how it felt to hold you in his arms. He knew after his second dance with you that if he was to have a future, you would surely play a part in it. “Would you accompany me to the British Museum tomorrow? There’s an exhibit being shown that I have been told we simply must not miss.”
Blinking twice, it doesn’t take you long to think of an answer. “I would love to. I’ve heard nothing but good things about the exhibit. It’s a collection of Greek and Roman sculptures and art.”
“I have a soft spot for History, but I have not been yet. I thought it would be perfect for us to go together.”
“I think it would be perfect for us to go together too,” You whisper, your heart beginning to race at the thought Colin has put into your first outing.
Colin smiles; the act lighting up his face. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a golden stopwatch, frowning briefly at its face before slipping back to where it belongs. “I wish I could stay longer,” He laments, “But I promised my mother I would meet her this morning.”
“Go see your mother,” You smile, “I will get to see you tomorrow after all.”
Another smile at that has your heart beginning to sing. “Until tomorrow,” He promises, standing from his chair and reaching for your hand where he places a lingering kiss to the back of it. The very kiss itself holding many promises for the future that you could not wait to fulfil.
As the door closes behind the brunette, you let yourself fall back onto the chair with a smile gracing your face. Until tomorrow; you had to wait until tomorrow before seeing him once more.
Three:
The building loomed large as you tightened your grip on Colin’s arm. Your stomach a ball of nerves as you think of what this means; your very first outing together as a prospective couple. Things needed to run smoothly; you needed to calm yourself down.
Taking a deep breath, you hasten your steps to keep up with Colin’s long strides. He had been so excited on the carriage ride over; babbling about the latest exhibit on show for the masses. Whilst History was a subject you adored when in education, it was not something you had kept up since coming out as a debutante.
Whilst the art is spectacular, it is the sculptures that ultimately take your breath away. Strolling through the main hall, you cannot help but be completely taken in by the attention to detail of such creations and the very fact that they have managed to survive hundreds of years with minimal damage.
“They’re beautiful, are they not?” Colin asks.
“They’re stunning.”
“My older brother, Benedict, suggested this to me. He’s the artist in the family but knows of my love of history.”
“He sounds like a wonderful big brother,” You murmur, finding it hard to tear your attention away from the pieces of work.
“How are you finding it? Are you enjoying yourself?” Colin asks, his voice close to your ear.
“I am. It’s spectacular. It makes me wish I had continued my study into the subject.”
“You like History?”
“Very much so,” You smile, “My father used to sit me on his lap and tell me stories of the past.”
“Mine would do the same,” Colin murmurs quietly, remembering his youth with his father. How he would sit on the floor by his father’s feet and listen for hours about not only his father’s life but the creation of the country in which they live and its many countless invasions.
“How are you finding it?” You ask, bringing him back to the present. “Are you enjoying yourself?”
“I am, but I have to admit it is more the company than the art work, no matter how stunning.”
“Colin!” You gasp, smiling widely, “You are a flatterer.”
He laughs; the sound reverberating off the marble sculptures and walls. “Only for you,” He admits when he calms down. “Only for you.”
His words bring a smile to your face, setting your heart racing in your chest. He could undo you with so few words; it was a miracle you were still standing.
The rest of the exhibit is much of the same; breathtaking sculptures and happy conversation with Colin. He doesn’t enjoy too much silence; rather, he asks you all sorts of questions about your childhood and your life in London. In kind, you ask him of his life and the travelling he did in his late teens/early twenties.
You find that not only is he kind and sweet, he is incredibly knowledgeable of not only life in England, but life and society in other countries. He speaks fondly of his time abroad, but as he regales you of tales of his travels, Colin finds no burning desire to travel abroad again. Instead, as he stares down at you, he finds that you rather hold everything he could need for the future.
It’s then that Colin decides he’s found what he needs for the rest of his life, and he’s found it in you. He supposes he should be laughed at; finding love so quickly, but it just feels right. Everything about you feels so perfectly right for him that he does not see the need to fight it.
He finds himself trying to fight the want to propose then and there. Instead, Colin hooks your arm through his as he leads you from the museum. Like a gentleman, he helps you into the carriage before joining you himself.
“Thank you,” You comment as the carriage sets off.
“Whatever for?” Colin asks, curious to what you should be thanking him for.
“For taking me to exhibit.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” He responds honestly. It was; the pleasure of the afternoon was entirely his because you brought out a side of him that he had never met before but found he rather liked. Colin had always been a man of the moment; rushing through his life so he could get to the next exciting part as quickly as possible. However, with you, he finds that he has no need to rush or to hurry. He finds himself excited for the journey he wants to take with you, and thanks his lucky stars that you saved a dance for him on your card.
The carriage soon rolls to a stop outside your home. Gathering yourself, you smile wistfully at the brunette who has so quickly made his home in your heart.
“Thank you for a wonderful morning and afternoon,” You state as you step down from the carriage with the help of your footman.
“Wait!” Colin calls, rushing out of the carriage, “Will you be at the picnic later this week?”
“I will,” You answer, excitement bubbling inside of you, “Will I see you there?”
Colin nods, “I was hoping you would want to promenade with me.”
“I would love to.”
From there, Colin leaves you with yet another kiss on your hand. As he walks away, you begin to wonder what it would feel like to have his lips pressed against yours; what would he feel like, what would he taste like. The thoughts swirl around your mind for so long that you do not hear your mother call you to the drawing room. Instead, you wander to your bedroom where such thoughts plague you for the rest of the day and night.
Four:
Each season the richest families in London society gather together for a picnic in the park. To outsiders, it is a display of their money, of their status in society. To mothers, it is another opportunity for their daughters to be showcased to the many eligible men who flock to the families in need of a wife or perhaps, some free food.
Your mother and you had been invited by the Bridgertons; an excuse by their matriarch to better get to know you and your mother. Violet welcomes you both with a warm smile, asking you to sit and drink tea.
“How are you?” Violet asks, reaching for one of the many biscuits.
“I’m well, Lady Bridgerton. And yourself?” You reply, wanting nothing more than to be accepted by the mother of the man who had caught your attention so readily.
“I’m very well, dear,” Violet answers, soon falling into conversation with your mother.
You’re distracted by the sight of Colin playing with his youngest siblings; a hoop game that leaves them all laughing loudly when the hoop is dropped on the floor, rolling away from them with great speed. There doesn’t seem to be any logic to the game other than pure enjoyment when Colin suddenly looks up, as if he sensed your eyes on him.
It’s as if everything else melts away as your eyes meet. For you, there was only him. There was no sound; no distractions – just Colin and the smile of his handsome face.
“I think they will work well together,” Your mother admits to Colin’s, glancing between the soft look on your face and the happy smile on Colin’s.
Violet hums her agreement, catching sight of the way Colin’s eyes light up when he notices you sat with his family. Gregory soon pulls his brother’s attention back to him, but Violet doesn’t miss the glances he throws in your direction every chance he gets. Yes, Violet thinks to herself, you would match very nicely.
Laughter rains all around you as you continue to sit with the Bridgerton family; now having been introduced to its matriarch but also to Anthony, its head. A kind man and very devoted to his family; you felt welcomed by his smile and happy to find that he already knew of you.
Stealing a glance at the sky, you sigh in relief when you see that the fine weather was going to hold and that the picnic was going very well. A shadow crossing your eyeline has you frowning in distaste, but your frown doesn’t last long when you find that it is Colin standing over you.
“Shall we go on a walk?”
One:
Taking his outstretched hand, Colin begins to lead you down the winding paths of park, away from your families.
“Colin,” You laugh, “Where are you taking me?”
“It’s a surprise,” He laughs, holding onto your hand tighter as he pulls you round a corner.
“Surely you can give me a little hint,” You plead, curiosity beginning to get the better of you.
Colin shakes his head; an infuriatingly handsome smile on his face as he remains quiet about exactly where he is leading you. At this point, the both of you have wandered away from your families and the rest of London society. Instead, you walk through a quieter section of the park, one where paths are travelled but are not often frequented. Despite the nerves rattling your gut, you feel completely safe in Colin’s presence.
“I wanted to steal you away for a little while,” Colin says, breaking the comfortable silence between the two of you.
“Steal me away?”
He nods; his grip on your hand tightening. “There were so many eyes watching us; my family and your family. Did you not feel even a little suffocated?”
Thinking back to the picnic and the shared looks between your mother and Colin’s, you would happily admit that you did start to feel the strain of their expectations. “I did start to feel our parent’s gaze,” You confess.
“Exactly. At least here we can be honest with one another without the pressure of our beloved mothers.”
“Honest?”
Colin nods, “Honest about what we feel.”
“What do you feel?”
“I see a future with you,” He admits, “I know that we have only begun courting, but I truly see it all with you. Do you see the same thing?”
“I see it all,” You confess, your voice hoarse with unspoken emotion.
“You do?”
Nodding your head, you answer, “I do. I see everything with you. When you left after we visited the museum, it took everything in me not to chase you down to ask you to stay.”
“I didn’t want to go,” He whispers, “I wanted to stay. I knew then.”
Through the confessions uttered by both parties, you have made your way closer to the gentleman. Your hands remain tangled by your sides; Colin’s fingers fitting comfortably with yours as he smiles softly down at you. His free hand raises slightly, brushes through the strands of hair that became loose on your quick getaway from your families. His eyes beg a silent question; the question that has bene on your mind since he left you on your doorstep last week.
“Can I kiss you?” He asks; verbalising his thoughts, handing you the power.
You just finish uttering your consent when Colin’s lips find yours, pressing against them softly. Taken by surprise, you gasp into the kiss but soon find your rhythm. You drop Colin’s hand so you can wind your arms around his neck, pulling him ever closer to you to feel him pressed so tight against you. Your fingers run through the ends of his hair, only briefly noting its softness before letting yourself fall further into him.
Colin groans softly into the kiss; finally knowing what it is that you taste like – sugar and the tea you recently drank. A combination that only leaves him wanting more as his hands settle on the small of your back, gathering you against him as he tries to repress the urge to take more, more, more. It’s everything all at once; it’s overwhelming but it still doesn’t feel enough. Not as Colin takes control, not as his hands tighten on your waist, and not as you whimper softly.
Breathless and dazed, you pull away from Colin. His chest heaves as he keeps his grip on your waist, not wanting to step further from him. He presses his forehead to yours, his breath dancing over your lips as you try to catch your own. Slowly, a smile breaks over your faces and laughter begins to spill from your lips.
It doesn’t make sense; it doesn’t have to. It’s simply the beginning of your futures.
*******
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