#the first one. i am sobbing over it
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they are, indeed, everything to me (x)
#just like to have my own post so i don’t bother anyone with the reblogs 🥹🥹🥹🥹#LOOK AT THEMMMMMMMMMM#the first one. i am sobbing over it#it makes me think of how fussy adam ALWAYS is when they get their portraits done#he’s probably mumbling to himself about hand placement and where their shoes are pointed#meanwhile belle is like my love can we just get this done 🙃#and adams like well you want it to be good don’t you!!!#and she’s like it will be if you stop fussing about it!!!#and they bicker for a while. meanwhile maurice is just sitting there like guys🥰🥰#anyway i adore them so so so much#adelle#batb 2017#op
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.”
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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The Story Behind The Song: Arctic Monkeys’ early ambitions on ‘A Certain Romance’
Lucy Harbron – Far Out Magazine | January 17, 2024
It was 2006. Mortgages were crashing, and businesses were going bust. Tony Blair was on his last legs in office as the longest-serving prime minister since Margaret Thatcher, and the hangover of ‘Cool Brittania’ was beginning to set in with an unexpected ferocity. Things were bleak when a young Alex Turner sang, “There ain’t no romance around there” through the public’s speakers. Arctic Monkeys were about to write themselves into musical history as the voice of a new generation.
The final song on their debut album, there has always been something special about ‘A Certain Romance’. In 2022, after the release of their seventh album, The Car, Turner seemed to find himself reflecting back on that 2006 track. To the musician, that early cut holds a clue to everything that was to come as he said the piece “showed that we did actually have these ambitions beyond what we once thought we were capable of”.
Coming in at over the five-minute mark, ‘A Certain Romance’ almost feels like the Arctic Monkeys’ version of a rock opera, summarising all the themes, feelings and energy that came before it on their seminal album Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not. It has the cheekiness of ‘Fake Tales Of San Francisco’ and the catchy instrumentals of hits like ‘Dancing Shoes’ or ‘I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor’. Utilising the northern charm of ‘Mardy Bum’, it stands as a final, neatly summarising point on the social commentary found in their early tracks like ‘From The Ritz To The Rubble’ or ‘Riot Van’. Really, it could be argued that ‘A Certain Romance’ is the ultimate example of Arctic Monkeys’ original sound, perfectly encapsulating all the things that made the world listen up and pay attention.
It’s like they seemed to know that, too, always allowing the song a special place. In fact, it was really the band’s opening remark. Years before the offer of a debut album came around, the group were a well-oiled machine with their own local hits. They had the northern live music scene in their hands as their homemade demo CD was passed around like everyone’s worst-kept secret. Beneath the Boardwalk features eight out of the 13 songs that would be on Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not, albeit in a slightly different, lower-quality version. But the opening number, ‘A Certain Romance’, sounds just the same.
It’s all there, from the rolling opening drums to that final guitar solo. Recorded and produced in a rented studio at only age 17, the existence of ‘A Certain Romance’, one of the band’s most explorative and energetic numbers, in this form this early in their career feels like a diamond sitting in a mine. It proves that they were always onto something special.
They never needed any help. In fact, their producer, Jim Abbiss, noted that they even seemed nervous about the help. “I think they were probably a bit weary, like ‘who’s this guy? And is he gonna make our sound this or that.’”
They didn’t want anything to change too much, as the group already had the songs figured out. Turner certainly did, as the track’s meandering narrative about hometown lads, fights, and local boredom is already there. Talking on a podcast, original member Andy Nicholson revealed the story behind the song. “We had a practice room with a pool table in, and we had a party in there, and we invited another band who were friends of ours, and we all had some drinks,” he said. “Then something happened, someone throws a pool cue, someone throws a pool ball, and everyone ends up fighting,” he added, explaining the lyrics, “there’s boys in bands / And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands.”
But the magic of Arctic Monkeys lies in their nuance. What begins as a snooty analysis of his local landscape is a genuinely affectionate take. “Well, over there, there’s friends of mine / What can I say? I’ve known ’em for a long long time / And, yeah, they might overstep the line / But you just cannot get angry in the same way,” Turner sings, looking around at his bandmates and lifelong friends. ‘A Certain Romance’ is not only a time capsule for the group’s beginnings but is an ode to all the people who were there with them. It’s an ode to the hometown that made them and all its various characters.
But as the last guitar solo roars to life, there is an unspoken statement that they’re going to be bigger than what they came from. “I remember when we were recording ‘A Certain Romance’ and having a conversation with the producer about the final guitar solo,” Turner told NME, recalling the moment these songs were reworked for their debut. But they wouldn’t let anyone mess with ‘A Certain Romance’, knowing exactly what they were doing and trying to say with that one. In the 2003 demo version, all the feeling is already there, and Turner wouldn’t risk it.
“There’s something that happens at the end of that track where we break some rules in a single moment,” he continued. What happens at the end of the piece feels even more special, considering how the album was recorded. “These are the songs we wanna do, and I think this is the order we wanna do them in,” Alex Turner told their producer, recounting the conversation in 2007 to RadioX, “And he goes, ‘alright, we’ll try to record them in that order as well.’” As the final song, that last guitar solo is the last thing recorded for the album, standing as a cathartic outlet and a chance for the band to prove themselves.
“We focused on the [emotional] effect of the instrumentals over the words,” Turner reflected on the track, concluding, “and I feel like we’ve been trying to do that again and again since then.”
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#I could talk about 'A Certain Romance' until I'm blue in the face or a sobbing mess#lucy did a good job on this one#she perfectly encapsulated how this song makes me feel#the moment I heard it I knew that this band was something incredibly special#it is so near and dear to my heart I will never stop singing it's praise#the fact they made this song that is so compelling and takes you an emotional journey from the beginning to end over 20 years ago????#and how protective they were of it when making the first album cause they knew it was something special#and Alex drawing similarities between 'ACR' and 'The Car' & letting the instrumental moments of the song convey more emotion than the lyri#like he always said they continue to follow the same instincts from the very beginning nearly 20 years later#i just want to write an ode to ACR so i can ramble on about it#but im gonna shut up for now#anyways please enjoy this article LOL#arctic monkeys#wpsiatwin#whatever people say i am that's what im not#a certain romance#alex turner#jamie cook#matt helders#nick o'malley#andy nicholson#far out magazine
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. not snz
on healing and on fear (tags)
#(typed this up at 3am and scheduling for later) no one needs to read this 🙏#today i went back to the site where i got injured back in may to partake in a sport which i haven't touched at all since the injury#and i think what struck me was the realization that#i don't know if i'll ever be able to stop being scared again :')#for a time climbing was very special to me...#it was one of the only ways i could feel myself improving so tangibly when improvement is usually so difficult to track#i liked seeing myself get better at something 😭 i liked going with friends and puzzling over the same problems... i liked having something#to look forward to after work. and perhaps having something to look forward to sounds simple... but for me it meant so much :')#for the first couple months after the injury i couldn't wait to get back into it#and then one day i woke up and i was just afraid#the fear feels so much more tangible now that i know i am not overreacting... it's awful knowing that in a way i was right to be afraid#i always knew there were risks associated; i have always been cautious#but i had just been starting to learn to be braver 😭#and fuck... today i stood there and looked at the wall and thought. how can i ever not be afraid again?#how can i go back to how things were before? when i loved this? when i could tell myself that - despite the fear - it was meaningful to try#i wanted to come away with the takeaway that i could take things slowly and get back into climbing - maybe precisely because#i remember so keenly how i loved it - but how could it ever be the same?#😭 i know this is just part of growing up but#in some ways i am tired of growing up... :') in some ways i just want that joy as it was then#delete later probably#i suppose i haven't lost anything but typing this made me sob for something i couldn't quite name
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2009 Malaysian Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Nick Heidfeld & Timo Glock)
#gifing jenson podiums is just me frantically saying to myself over and over:#'WHY IS HE SO PRETTYYYYYYY'#his wet messed up hair in all of these....i am unwell...#i have a love hate relationship with wet races#i like them as a race bcs they add an extra element of unpredicatableness#BUT THEY MAKE THE LIGHTING OF THE PODIUMS ABSOLUTE SHIT(at least in this era)#this and the next race(china 2009) are plagued with the worst lighting known to man#and it pains me so much cause theyre both great podiums but the lighting makes everyone look so bad LMAO#like yes ty for letting me see my drivers sopping wet but my god why do you make them look like smeagol(sry thats so out of pocket)#but its impossible to completely ruin jenson's handsomeness so no worries#there were so many cute shots of him peeking out of the car I LOVE HIMMMMM SOB SOB#i really gotta stop making gifsets right before i need to sleep it makes me keep pushing my sleepy time later#hahaha me quickly posting these mere hours before the first event of miami#PLS! ITS NOT THE RACE WKND JUST YET I SWEAR I SWEAR#jenson button#jb22#timo glock#nick heidfeld#brawn#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 malaysian grand prix#2009 malaysian gp#(2009: 2/17 races watched)#season: 2009
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thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i
#(sobbing and crying and snotting everywhere) AERITH GAVE HER SOMEONE TO CONFIDE IN ON SUCH A TUMULTUOUS JOURNEY#SOMEONE SHE COULD BE AS CLOSE TO FULLY RELAXED AS POSSIBLE#SOMEONE TO GOSSIP WITH OR SHARE HER CONCERNS OR JUST. BE A NORMAL GIRL WITH#YUFFIE'S THERE BUT SHE'S JUST A KID AND TIFA WOULD NEVER WANT TO HARM THE AIR OF CAREFREE CHILDISHNESS SHE MANAGES TO MAINTAIN EVEN IF#ITS BECAUSE YUFFIE IS HIDING THINGS THAT ARE CRUSHING HER#but poor tifa . gentle tifa. is now left to regret. to blame herself.#she has barret who acts like a father figure to her sure - but despite how much she cares about him and values her frienship with him#he's not aerith. he's not someone she can just gossip about first loves with. not someone she can fully Relate to. if you get what i mean#she is left to trace back the thread of how poor aerith got caught in this mess#she was the one to ask aerith to save marlene. but how did they get there? aerith refused to let cloud be a bystander in wall market#how did that happen? she made a risky choice that put her in a position where their paths crossed. why? because cloud was briefly lost#during the bombing mission. why did the bombing mission happen? she couldn't stop it. ETC ETC#NONE OF IT WAS HER FAULT... BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO DRAG INNOCENT PEOPLE INTO THIS AT ANY SINGLE POINT#AND NOW SOMEONE WHO QUICKLY BECAME A CLOSE FRIEND IS GONE oh lord my heart#all of this added onto the things like how alone she was in nibelheim... it was just her and her dad for some years after the boys all left#and then the Incident happens and she loses that last person she had... and to an extent another she didn't even know was right there(cloud#god i could talk about her and how she has suffered more than jesus for ages (happy easter. lmao)#FF7 Rebirth spoilers#just in case?? for anyone who's only playing the remakes i guess. since this was basically already there the remakes just elaborate on it#i think about 'we found you!' 'i guess you did!' SO OFTEN#these two girls mean the world to me and i will not let you reduce them to love interest rivals#when tifa ran over to aerith's body i think everyone in the world heard my heart shattering into dust#these thoughts are a bit disjointed and don't articulate well what i mean but god. god. i am thinking about her today
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not me lying wide awake at 5:30am on a sunday on my day off bc after almost a full year I finally FINALLY realized the implication of the end of remember them from the cyclops saga
#that song has one of the most powerful ending crescendo sequences ive heard in maybe all of musical theater#so it. always felt incomplete after ALL that buildup during the I AM THE INFAMOOOUS#only to just drop to SILENCE. no music. no fanfare. just ODYSSEUS!#he doesnt even really sing it he just sort of... shouts it#and then its followed by the faintest sound of ocean waves#its poseidon. listening. THATS why athena said DONT#poseidon heard that declaration and came back to get him later#😬#i just looked up the lyrics for ruthlessness too and poseidon basically spells it out 😂#ive only listened to that song once or twice tho and i guess i wasnt too focused on the words#anyway i relistened to the songs on friday and theyve been rotating in my mind like a 7/11 hotdog#the whole cyclops saga especially is just.... so so good#they truly dont make music about bashing peoples heads in like they used to#the first 3 songs of the saga especially... oof#how they blend one into the other back to back and end up making like a 10 minute narration of events#the whole thing is so bone chilling#it gets my heartrate up lol#PLUS the theme of pain and vengeance bring more pain#EVERY time polyphemus says 'what gives you a right to deal a pain so deep'#and when odysseus says 'what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of the world could learn to use'#rocking back and forth sobbing crying#remember them the next time that you DARE choose not to spare! remember them... remember us... remember me!#cant wait for everyone to turn their back on this musical in 5 yrs#like they did with hamilto.n#hamilto.n never stopped being good actually#yall are just embarrassed about being weird fanatics over people who rly existed
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The evil slow creep of it being like "haha these will just be quick little side quests, not much effort at all!" and then noticing each one is getting progressively longer than the last, thus no longer being minimal effort.. auGh....
#The jump of 76 for the first one to 275 for the most recent ghghjb#what can I say.. I am.. The Elaborator.. The Detail Giver..#number six will HAVE to be shorter....!!!!!! !!!!#I fear it's going to look this way but opposite with some of the main character quests. The first character I ever worked on. like their#first quest I added wayy to much information and detail and side options and etc.#Once I got done with all their stuff I was like.... if they're all like this I will NEVER finish.. So then I tried to be very short about#it all. EVERY single interaction cannot have 10 branching dialogue and 5 different endings and blah blah blah.. as much as I wish it could.#Hiring a butler to stand over me all day shouting ''NARROW the scope!!!! REDUCE the options!!! CUT the dialogue!!!'' whilst I sob#and hit backspace on everything once every five minutes#But that means probably the first character I worked on will be very obvious because their quests might have a different#feel than the others and be longer.. I just CAN'T make ALL of them that long. but maybe I could choose one..#Like out of the four characters that will have full quests for them upon release.. maybe I can add another one thats long so at least#TWO of them have weirdly long quests and the one first character doesnt seem so singled out lol#I hear this happens in real life professional games as well (like people complaining that X character doesnt have as much#content in an RPG as some other one does. etc.) so.. perhaps my fears about everyting not being exactlyliterally equal#are not even that worrisome or something that's a major factor. Still lol#It's not really that concerning to me anyways from a 'how will people react to it' perspective (very niche game. hardly anyone#will play it i'd assume. its not like thousands of people shall desscend upon me to criticize even if something was weird like that.#it'd be like. out of the 25 people who ever play it. maybe one of them is like 'yeah it was kinda weird that thosequests were so much#longer than the others. but idk' and that's the extent lol). My concern is more like.. Writing time..#the more I add. the longer it takes for me to finish. So if I keep ednlessly making things forever longer and longer. then it becomes The#Forever Project. which it kind of already is. considering I started it in 2018 and then forgot about it for the most part of 5 years and am#only resuming it now LOL.. I cannot bear to add MORE forever onto that which already is quite Forever-ish#If I wrote everything the ideal way I wish it were then I would either need a full team of writers. or I would finish the game in 2085#so.. alas.. cut cut snip snip..#ANYWAY lol
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#sorry to vent post yet again the pms is pms-ing. i am ultimately in the end ok and this too shall pass etc#cw pet death#UNNA IS FINE no worries#i just. i just really miss Pulmu. my baby my sweet old lady. jesus fucking christ#i just. idk i still hold a lot of regret over her last months. i loved her so much I DID but no amount of love#and money and guilt and open mouth sobbing could make her not Old and Sick.#i just refused to see that because i wanted her to be alright so badly#i feel so bad about letting my feelings go over her comfort. i'm so sorry baby i shouldnt have hung on to you as long as i did#of i could change one thing about the whole of world's history it would be that. so you wouldnt have to die scared in a hospital#but i cant do that. i just have to live with the memory#usually i try not to be too hard on myself about it. first of all because beating myself up about it doesnt change anything#and also because i recognize that i was profoundly mentally ill about the whole thing. (not joking)#like i genuinely dont think i have ever felt and been worse than i did when Pulmu was old and sick. i wasnt thinking clearly.#i should have been but i wasnt.#it has been 1 year and about 8 months since her passing and still sometimes i dont know what the hell to do with all that grief#some days i'm completely fine and i can talk about her without problems. and some days i sob into my pillow feeling like i just got shot#ah well. nothing to it but to keep on trucking#i hope she's fine wherever she is.
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My fave thing about my vs is subtly changing them to look more and dress more like Johnny over time - give em a day where they go back to their og styles as like a push against it - and then have them settle in more
#I’ve been thinking more about my twin vs au#and i reallly like It#playing the game it’s obviously one at a time#but in my head in everything’s wonderful everyone lives au they sit on the couch sobbing over Jackie and Misty#fem v wants her so bad#male v wants him so bad#they make half hearted plots to break them up bc tbh they’re just happy for their friends#if I say fem v x rogue male v x Johnny am I crazy?#sorry i just started romancing Judy for the first time and I’m not fucking with her#ILL GROW ATTACHED I KNOW#but like rn it’s Evelyn evelyn Evelyn OKAYYYYYY#WE GET ITTTT#MAKE OUT WITH ME HAHAHAHA#with differences in personality Ik f v comes off as a like colder but that’s purely outwardly#like shes already radical and her big clash with Johnny is how similar they are#while my male v kinda lives his life in a bubble and gets radicalized as he truly sees what happens in NC#yes this is bc I started the male v quest first as I was exploring the game#but got further with f v while already knowing like 10% of it#but shhhh it’s personality differences guys#I wrote it in a journal actually I might translate it to here (won’t)#but i broke down their personalities and I keep forgetting I can’t call up my twin smh
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#been stuck in bed for the last 5 days#tried to go outside today#went to a bakery nearby and fell in the middle of the street while crossing it#some people mainy kids going back from school got concerned#they all asked me if im okay#i got up was okay and went back home#and then proceeded to sob because thats the first time in months somebody irl near me cared#my body is aching from the fall#still#and i just realised iv been so exhausted mentally and physically and burnt out i cant function anymore#i thought i would be fine that im just being lazy with the staying in bed#but after my last job fucked me over i think that was the last of any energy i had#honestly ive been crying at least once a day for the last two weeks#usually twice or more times tbh#been crying all day today#i think im just a shell of a human at this point#ive been struggling for the most basic shit in the last 6 months#couldnt find housing still struggling with a job#cant even find a single friend#i keep trying with everything#but its not working#and im beyond exhausted#this new job better treat me like a human and pay me because i dont know if i can take another one of those on#like im unable to do anything make meals take showers you name it#i am absolutely shell of a human#i just want to feel like im able pay for my survival thats all#personal
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magi rambling
idk it jus hit me out of nowhere how much i love magi fic and how sinja is portrayed in such. imo THEEEE best magi fic of all time is works cowritten by galiko and daphnerunning, those two were genuinely on galaxy brain mega dimension level thinking full time, but like less abt magi meta as a whole and more on how the characters are so true to themselves and their flaws
it's been so long that in not gonna be able to remember who all did it but i def remember all of galiko's sinja fic that also portrayed sinbad/judal to some extent, that it was made very clear in the text how differently and on different footing both relationships stood. judal especially in their hands was written so well in a way that changed how i viewed the character in canon to some extent and in every other piece of fictional media. like how can you write someone so pathetic and deceptive and a bastard and it's all perfectly in character
I've never been into sin/ju and i don't think i ever read anything w them in fic seriously or w/o skimming but i did sit thru enough to know how the galiko/daphne pair brought them forth and made it very wanton-ly obvious that sin is always just manipulating judal and leading him on to get what he wants at the end of it all, but in contrast, it's clear that he so deeply loves ja'far in ways mere words cannot express
to see the relationship dynamics compared and contrasted in fic was always such a treat because sin treats almost everyone like they're a stepping stone used to further his own objectives, but then he treats his advisor like a genuine person. shows real care and concern, becomes inconsolable when ja'far is hurt, refuses to quell his rage for any reason when someone has wronged ja'far. his advisor truly is his precious person that he can strip down out of his title as king and just be sinbad around.
and this is even further glorified when ja'f knows but insists he doesn't!!! playa it off bc sin is king and this is uncouth!!! only to have such moments of weakness when anything goes terribly wrong and he's suddenly on the brink of death, terrified of leaving sin behind all alone, letting himself have just as long as it takes to recover the bare minimum amount to bask in sin's unending devotion. they truly do treat each other differently in canon and otherwise and it's so gratifying to see and realize each time as someone who loves sinja so dearly
#there's was one specific fic scene i had in my head for this all#but i think i am thinking also of another scene from a completely different fic#and am trying to make them the same fic somehow??? maybe one is a sequel and they're the same au verse#anyway the first is undoubtedly when ja'f takes on al thamen and comes back in a coma#and it's actually a pov judal scene where he witnesses sinbad again at his mere advisor's bedside#and even if he knew before it finally clicks in his heart that oh this is the one person sin truly cares for#and he storms off in a huff to aladdin to sulk over it#the second is i think either an entirely different fic or the prequel to the other one!#where near the end ja'f sacrifices his rukh in a hail mary to end kouen's siege on sindria#loses i think either one or both legs in the process of absorbing baal's magic to use sinbad's vessel#doesn't even work and kouen ends up inflicting /another/ mortal wound that's not y'know the missing legsssss#and right before he can die for real sinbad shows up and immediately takes stock of the situation#doesn't even hesitate to kill kouen in THE most gruesome act of violence i have ever seen in a piece of fiction EVER#and then with the threat neutralized he just picks ja'f up and cradles him in his arms#and ja'f truly breaks down at this point bc he's gone thru SOOOO MUCH to fight on his own#bc he never once doubted sin was still alive but everyone else around him slowly but surely gave up hope#and he can't help full on sobbing mind break bc sin is here now and it's all over now#and AGAIN it's the judal pov where he clocks it as#'oh these two are so completely devoted to each other and each other alone and no one else even compares'#anyway hiiii i am unwell once again thinking abt superbly written sinja in fanfic#edit; oh guess what it WAS the same fic for both#it's just that that fic is 230K LONG so yea ofc there's room for both to happen
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Chapter 55 of Tower of Dawn😭
#HOW DOES SHE ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME AT SOME POINT IN THE LAST QUARTER (12 CHAPTERS)#literally always at the point of weeping giggling gasping or screaming like every other chapter every time I finish one of SJMs books#my soul#fangirl problems#all the feels#Tower of Dawn#severely underrated book that though it makes sense timeline wise for EoS tandem it honestly reminds me more of HoF#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Towers#Nesryn Faliq#Sartaq#I love them all so much#okay yall what are the ship names#also the lil Rowaelin moments#and I was right about Lys#and finally they gave notice to everybody on the Maeve thing so word can get around#but oh my word YOUR TELLING ME THATS WHO AELINS WITH OH HELL NOOOOOOO#and soon their gonna learn that and it’s gonna be EoS ending all over again#honestly dying to know what happens but dreading the end of another fantastic story#Chapter 55#SJM#TOG series#KoA I am not ready but I’m almost there#first read#currently reading#reading reacts#no spoilers please#okay time to go read the last 10 chapters#*sobbing* it’s so beautiful#screaming in Wyvern or should I say Ruk
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My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL#i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol#and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying#i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it#the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard#but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like#‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks#but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about#it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy#the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on#and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr#his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true#but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself#i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you#maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just#very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is#like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma#makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen#I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH#basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It#and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive#anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight
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my mom found the thing that started the fight that got me kicked out. so i was right. in my fantasies this happens and it’s great in real life im gonna jump her
#personal#now i gotta call amazon like no sorry my mom looked again and found it#it’s happened to me i get it. you look everywhere and it’s just not there#but oh my god. i was like shit did i send it??? i only remember the other camera? i only remember that one in there#then it’s like well maybe i did take it on accident#and then i was like am i getting so high all the time again that i sent it too???? and don’t remember? that’s pathetic mm#so i called them and god hard to find their number but call and get a note put in the system like hey might have done an oppsie#and that took forever and i did it next day after the fight bc i did feel bad#which was at workkkk 😔#now i gotta call them back nutssssss#also getting my dads ashes separated for my siblings#which either need to do flex time to do that or take day off#which i’ve been doing a lot like hey im sick!#hey! my house got broken into!!#hi again!!! it happened again!!!!#luckily one was a mental health day so ur boys only called out twice yeahhhhhhh#but anyway honestly just happy i let them know the urn situation is 100% on you#said nicer#but i was like hey if u have one just send it to me or the cremation place has some just see if u like any#and i’ll see if it’s easier to pay online or give it to me and i pay them#but urns easily 100 bucks if not more. granted looked at metal before wood but still. ain’t noooooooooooooo way#if it was like. 20 bucks i could see myself being like okay ill fork it over and deliver the goods (dad)#and i’ll rant this everytime but especially when i asked about this when we were funeral planning and before i got them and got told to#basically shut up. no. that trip was super hard didn’t wanna have to do it a couple times#i remember i came home with dad sobbing he was buckled in and i got him out and was just holding him#and i let everyone know hey dads home he’s safe#and i’m distraught holding my dad but distraught and talking to him#and first thing my brother says is when can we get some of the ashes too?#no asking me hey. u alright? no im happy dads home safe nothing just. sooooo#oh i could have killed i could have KILLED.
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#ik that fionna and cake will be coming out in eight more days...#but this album that saved me from my bad anxiety will be turning 10 soon!!#and in two days ari will be performing two of her songs that she hasn't performed in over a decade live on youtube#it's probably going to be like the vevo live performance from 2021 but i am so not ready for her new performances...#oh and the 10th anniversary deluxe edition will also be released!#friday is going to be a busy one for sure#ariana grande#yours truly#music#Spotify#again I'm so not ready for her to perform live again in over two years. there might be tears since her voice is just so beautiful#and chills!! i got chills when i first heard daydreamin when i was 15. that was such a beautiful song!#and it still is to this day!#sure I'll be sobbing but I hope she'll hit the falsetto/whistle notes in right there the way and baby i like she did in the original album#imma scream fosho lol
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