#the first drawing is from a couple of months ago along with that sketch

[klartzzie]

My oc Ze’ev ft. his super healthy way of dealing with his emotions (isolating himself and releasing magic in forms of raw energy because he was never truly taught how to talk about his feelings or deal with them in a healthy way)

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 8: Jealousy Doesn't Look Good On Anybody Except...

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter eight of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 4.1K

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing (a few times), Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC,

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

The song they dance to is "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" by Russ Columbo and this should take you to the song. It's the song I named the series for, because I believe it encompasses how both the reader feels, but also how Soldier Boy will feel in a few chapters. I also believe that the song House of Memories by Panic at the Disco, fits the more modern parts of the series.

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Philadelphia 1938

The lights twinkled along the ceiling of the dance hall as the gentle swell of jazz floated through the air. Couples swayed on the dance floor clinging to one another as the soft tones of the music soothed the dull throb of the whispers of rising tension overseas. It was a Saturday night, and you and a few of your friends from the Dawson School for Girls had slipped away to spend the evening twirling in the arms of whomever caught your fancy.

Well, at least that's what your friends wanted to do. There was only one particular man who'd caught your fancy, but he was nowhere to be seen.

The Dawson School for Girls was the answer to your mother's prayers, a boarding school in Boston, far away from Ben's "corruptive influence" as she put it. Ben was currently at boarding school number ten in Upstate New York. The last time you’d seen him was when you were on break and Ben had just left boarding school number nine for fighting with other students, but he wouldn't say what for. You’d sent him a few letters to tell him how bored you were including a few sketches and watercolor paintings, with minimal response, but it was like him not to write back.

You hadn't mentioned that Howard Stine had been coming on the weekends to take you out. Your mother was pleased with him, he checked all the boxes: wealthy, not Ben, educated, not Ben, from a nice family, not Ben, and of course most importantly, not Ben.

She was practically making wedding invitations and choosing the names of your children after only three months. However, it was nice to see her happy for a change, kept her from sniping at your figure now that someone was interested. Well, not sniping that much.

Howard was… nice, but he was one of the most boring people you'd ever met and he never understood why you always carried a sketchbook with you. When he'd taken you to Franklin Park one weekend, you stopped along the pond to sketch some of the ducks that were waddling on the bank, but Howard told you he didn’t have time to wait for you to draw them. Instead of telling him that he could just leave, you shut the sketchpad and continued to walk with him and quickly learned that it was better to leave your sketchpad at the dorm whenever he was in town. You also found yourself talking less and less, allowing him to fill the silence with his talk of the stock market crash and how the United States economy recovered due to the efforts of President FDR.

You hated that. You didn't recognize yourself when you were with him. You didn't feel like you.

And every time he was here all you could do was compare him to Ben. Ben would never tell you to stop drawing, yes he would tease you about it, but he always sat next to you while you were sketching, watching you work. You never understood that. Ben was so impatient with everyone else, but he was willing to sit with you for any inordinate amount of time if you were drawing while making you laugh the whole time.

I miss him so much.

"Can I get you a drink?" Howard puts his hand on the small of your back, leaning in to whisper in your ear. You try not to flinch at his touch. He had already been in town, walking you home from a dinner that was dominated by awkward silence and the clicking of utensils on plates when you'd run into your friends just as he was walking you back to the dorm. They had rounded the corner giggling and begging you to come with them. Despite your insistences for him to stay in and relax for the night at his hotel, he refused.

It meant that now you were stuck with him while all your friends got to twirl around with men that made them warm and giddy. Howard made you feel like you'd swallowed a lemon.

"I'm fine, but thank you." You force a smile.

Howard shrugs, before he walks away towards the crowded bar on the other side of the room and blessedly far away from you.

Your thoughts drifted to Ben. You missed your friend more than words could comprehend. Not just because you were far from your family in another city, but because it felt like you were missing apart of yourself when he wasn't there. You briefly wonder if he felt the same way when he wasn't with you.

Probably not.

You turn away from Howard's retreating figure, to watch the couples on the dance floor. You sway to the music, holding your arms around yourself and feeling your dark green dress swish around your ankles, one that you'd picked out yourself, not a monstrosity of pink tulle, but something that you believed accentuated the natural curves of your body that your mother used other dresses to hide. Your mouth turns down into a frown remembering how Howard had reacted to seeing you in it, when he tried to give you his jacket to cover up, but you refused.

You had wanted him to be stunned by how you looked in it, or at least, wanted someone to be. The same someone that was miles away and probably tickling the skirt of someone who caught his fancy.

"One of the most attractive men I've ever seen in my life is at the bar." Your friend Pearl stated looking behind you with wide eyes.

I've got you beat. You think to yourself to a sigh, wishing, again, that you were here with Ben instead of Howard.

"Very funny." You roll your eyes, thinking that she’s making fun of where Howard is sitting probably flagging down the bartender with both hands to catch his attention.

"I'm not talking about Howard. This guy is seriously a looker. And he's staring at you." Pearl says again.

"Sure." You continue to watch an elderly couple sway back and forth to the smooth jazz that ebbs from the band on stage.

Must be nice to be with someone for that long.

You watch how effortlessly the couple moves as one, how the man stares down at the woman with more love than you can comprehend. It makes your heart sink in your chest.

The way things were panning out, you were going to end up with Howard and you couldn't imagine looking at anyone like that other than Ben.

"You're about to see, because he's coming this way." Pearl takes a step back from you as if anticipating the stranger interrupting your conversation.

"He's not-" You begin to say, but you feel someone place their hand on the small of your back, turning you towards them.

"Fancy meeting you here." Ben smiles down at you, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

"Ben!" Your heart soars when you recognize your friend and you can't help but hug him so tight he laughs, the movement of his chuckle makes you feel alive for the first time in weeks. The sharp smell of whiskey and the familiar spicy scent of his cologne greets you.

"Guess you missed me." The rumble of his voice vibrates where your cheek rests against his chest.

"I did." You pull away from him reluctantly. "What are you doing here?" You can't help but smile at him, probably wider than what was attractive.

"Thought I'd stop by and visit on my way back to Philadelphia. Saw you walk into this place. " Ben shrugs. "What are you doing out so late?"

"Looking for trouble." You smirk.

"You found him sweetheart." Ben leans down towards you making your throat get unusually tight.

"Hi." Pearl says interrupting the conversation.

 Ben turns his smug smile on her. "Hi."

"I'm Pearl." She looks from you to Ben as if trying to decide that it's okay for her to introduce yourself.

"Benjamin." You watch him slip into the cool and smooth Ben, the one that charmed whomever caught his eye.

You can't help but feel a prick of jealousy against your skin. It was familiar, but every time it happened, it didn't make any of this easier. You knew that you shouldn't be jealous, you didn't have a claim on him, you were friends, just friends, only friends, best friends…

And now you were with Howard.

You let out a soft sigh watching the way that Pearl looks up at Ben and the way he leans towards her with the confident smirk you love so much on his face.

"Would you like to dance Benjamin?" She asks.

"I would." Ben's smirk turns into a smile.

Pearl steps forward to reach for his hand, expecting him to take it, but he doesnt.

"Come on sweetheart." Ben reaches out and takes your hand, twirling you ahead of him onto the dance floor.

"Ben-" You giggle, head spinning with the movement, but when he twirls you back into his chest, you feel your breath catch. This wasn't the first time you'd been pressed up against him and it wasn't the first time you recognized how perfectly you fit together. Your soft curves molding against the hardness of his muscles as you sway back and forth to the music. When you were pressed up against him, you didn't feel like you were too big, you felt perfect, because of the way you fit against him.

"You know I am here with someone-" You say, before you get too wrapped up in how good it feels to be with him.

"Yes. Howard Stine. Though I do believe you said he stepped on your toes." Ben smiles at you, eyes twinkling in the light.

"That was four years ago, and he's… sweet?"

"Hmph." Ben rolls his eyes. "You can't even say it with a straight face sweetheart."

"I have never said anything bad about your companions."

"Missy-"

"Besides her." You frown.

He laughs at your reaction, the hand clutched in your right seems to warm with his smile. "You've never said anything about them period."

Because I hate thinking about how many of them there have been. Because I hate that you don't see me as someone who could be with you.

"I try not to dwell on your numerous escapades."

"You sound a little jealous doll." He smirks at you.

"What was that you were saying about Howard again?" You tease, holding on to his shoulders as you sway back and forth to the music.

"Can't be jealous of someone I've seen get chased by a duck." Ben's eyes trace your body for a moment. Your cheeks blush under his gaze. "You look nice. Not one of your mom's I'm guessing?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You don't look like a cupcake." He spins you away one more time before bringing you back into his chest.

"No. I think she'd probably have an aneurysm if she saw me wearing this. Howard also thought it was a bit much-"

Ben's hand tightens on your waist. "What?"

You shrug, leveling your eyes on his chest to distract yourself from his hand placement. "He tried to get me to wear his coat."

"He what?"

You shake your head to dissipate the self-doubt and body-shaming conversation that was about to unfold in your head.

"It's nothing." You raise your gaze back to his, but you're surprised to see the anger that burns behind his green eyes.

"It's not nothing. He had no right to-"

"Ben." You soothe, rubbing your thumb over his shoulder to comfort him.

The song shifts to something softer, forlorn, a song that reminded you of the heartache you felt with Ben, but also a melody that eases your soul somehow.

"I don't understand why you're with him." Ben sighs, but you can still feel the tension in his shoulders beneath your hand.

"My mother is happy-"

"But you're not." The look in his eyes is unfamiliar, almost earnest, as if he's trying to get you to understand something that he can't say.

"Ben." You breathe.

"Fine. I don't want you to think about him when we're dancing to our song anyway." The look in his eyes shifts back to the playful green they'd been before.

"Our song?" The words make your heart skip a beat and you can't help but smile at him.

You couldn't remember the last time you'd smiled this much. Probably the last time I saw him.

"Yes." Ben dips you back, before bringing you up against him, the playful look in his eyes becoming softer as you come back.

You know that your own gaze is filled with love and you remember watching the elderly couple. The way they looked at one another warming your heart as you gaze up at Ben. The three little words tiptoe against your tongue, the three little words that you'd been trying to say forever, but you can't. You don't want to lose him, don't want to live in a world without him, because you know that it won't be worth living.

So instead you lean forward and lay your head against his chest, in the space between his neck and shoulder as the song continues. You think that you feel Ben's arms tighten around you, pulling you further into his embrace, but you chock that up to wishful thinking.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" You hear someone yell, and all of a sudden someone's hand is on your wrist jerking you away from Ben.

What?

Howard is standing there his chest pushed against Ben’s, trying to look intimidating, but Howard's inability to reach Ben's shoulders made it difficult for him.

You rub your fingers over your wrist, where Howard’s bright red handprint stands out against your skin.

Ben’s eyes shift to notice your ministrations, darkening with the force of his anger at the thought that Howard hurt you.

“I think I was dancing with my girl.” Ben’s eyes narrow, skating back to Howard.

Your heart skips a beat when he says that, but you shake away the thought, knowing that Ben is only saying that to make Howard angry.

“Your girl?!” Howard sputters, his face growing red. “She’s not your girl!”

“Howie, buddy-“ Ben’s confident smirk slips over his features but you still see the anger beneath the surface. “Calm down, you’ll give yourself a heart attack.”

“Just because you think you have some claim on her because you’ve been stringing her along with the harem that usually follows you, does not make her your girl!” Howard fumes. “She’s with me.” Howard grabs your wrist again and drags you towards him.

“Hey wait a minute-“ You begin to say.

Ben grabs the front of Howard's tailored suit, rumpling the pristine fabric. “Don’t you dare touch her like that.”

“I will touch her however I damn well please! She's mine-"

The grip on your wrist is so tight that you know it’ll leave bruises. “Howard wait-“ You try again to diffuse the tension, bringing your free hand to rest on his forearm to make him let go.

“Shut up.” He snaps, eyes flashing back to you.

Ben’s temper flares and the sharp crack of his fist against Howard’s face echoes through the room. Howard stumbles away, letting go of your wrist as he reels backward to the welcoming hardwood floor that catches him when he falls.

“Don’t you ever speak to her that way you arrogant son of a bitch!” Ben shouts taking a step forward. His shoulders are tense, fists clenched at his sides and his jaw is tight, as his anger burns through the air.

By now the band has stopped playing music and all the couples around you are watching with wide eyes.

I have to do something before he kills him.

You put yourself between them, your hands firmly planted on Ben’s muscular chest so your back is to where Howard stands fuming. “Ben. Don’t.”

But he’s not looking at you, his gaze is locked with Howard’s, eyes blazing, muscles tensing beneath the palms of your hands. You try to ignore how good his chest feels beneath your touch.

Damn it.

“Ben.” You say his name again.

His eyes snap back to yours. The soft green has hardened to an emerald with the force of his rage, so different than how he looked when the two of you were dancing. But he doesn’t say anything.

“Please.” You whisper. "Stop."

Ben looks from you to Howard, before he finally exhales. “Fine.” He mutters, and he turns and vanishes into the crowd of people without another word.

A minute passes and the music begins all over again, the band on the stage starting with a lively tune that makes the couples around you to move back on to the dance floor, but the tension of what just happened remains in the air.

Because what did just happen? Did Ben do that because he was protective of me? Or did he do that because he was jealous?

Your eyes trace where he vanished, longing for him to come back, but when he doesn't appear, you're left to deal with the aftermath. 

After numerous apologies to Howard, he finally relented and took you back to your dorm, leaving your group of friends at the dance hall. You knew there would definitely be a conversation about what just happened between you all when they got back, but even you were confused. Ben was always protective of you, but what happened seemed over the top. You think about how Ben called you “my girl," the way he said it sending a thrill down your spine. He’d never done that before and you wondered if it was because he wanted to get a rise out of Howard or because he believed it.

Not like he’s tried to do anything about it. You think to yourself stroking one finger against your bruised wrist. The discoloration was more prominent now, black and blue marks beginning to sprout like flowers in spring. Howard’s eye didn’t look much better when he dropped you off. You were surprised that he’d been forgiving enough to continue to see you, not that you wanted to see him, but you didn't think you could handle a letter from your mother.

Then again maybe she would pull you out of this ridiculous school.

A small tap at your window causes you to raise your head to look out the glass. Ben is sitting there, but he doesn’t smile like he usually does. Your dorm room was on the first floor, which meant that Ben didn't need to shimmy up a tree to get into it like he did when you were home. Then again this was the first time he'd showed up here and you wondered how he knew where your room was. You also weren't thrilled at his appearance because you didn't know when Pearl would come back and you weren't sure what your roommate would do if she came back and found Ben in your room. She was a stickler for the rules and despite your friendship, rooming with her was one of your least favorite things about the Dawson School For Girls.

“If they find you here I’m going to be in so much trouble.” You say helping him through the small window, putting your hand on the back of his head so that he doesn't bang it against the glass. "You might like getting kicked out of boarding schools, but I don't."

“They won’t find out.” Ben rolls his eyes. He glances at Pearl’s empty bed on the other side of the room. “Roommate not back yet?”

“No she was still dancing when I left.”

Ben frowns. “Where’s the asshole?”

“Ben-“

“What?”

“He left. And I don't exactly invite him up to where I sleep."

“Good.” Ben flexes his fist.

“How did you know which room was mine?” You ask. Ben had never come to see you before at boarding school and the fact that he was here probably meant that boarding school number ten was out.

“I might have guessed wrong.” He smirks.

“Uh-huh.” You sigh, but all you can think about is how he acted earlier. Your feet shift back and forth “Why did you hit him?”

Ben’s eyes darken. “He shouldn’t have touched you like that or said that to you.”

You stand there for a minute observing his reaction.

“He kinda deserved it." You say slowly.

You knew it was true. When Ben showed up Howard shouldn’t have lost it like he did, he definitely shouldn’t have grabbed you like that or called you his-

You stutter on that thought. But maybe he is right. I am Howard’s. We’ve been going steady… The thought of being his makes something curl up in your chest and die. There was only one man that you wanted to belong to.

"Yeah.” Ben sighs.

"Why did you call me your 'girl'?" You ask.

"Um." Ben shrugs. "Felt right in the moment."

"What?"

"I mean you are. You're my friend-"

"But that doesn't mean friend Ben." You say it gently trying to catch his eye, but Ben won't meet your gaze.

"Fine. I just wanted to mess with him a little bit." Ben frowns. "But I didn't like that he called you his, or the fact that he hurt you."

“But Ben I am his.” You whisper even though you don’t want to. “We’re going steady-“

“That doesn’t make you his!” Ben snaps, eyes flashing. “Just because he feels the need to say it doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“But Ben-“

“And I never want to hear you say it.” He continues loudly.

What is wrong with him? I've never seen him this angry about anything.

“Why?”

“Because that means he has some claim on you. You’re not his, you’re my friend.”

"You're being ridiculous. You're saying that he can't have some claim on me but you're possessively calling me your friend!" You shout back frustrated.

Why is he acting like this? Does he really hate Howard that much?

"I am not! I'm just saying that you're my friend and you're not his!"

“I can’t be both?” Your words hang in the air between the two of you and you mentally beg Ben to answer. He was acting like he wanted you to be his, like he believed that he had some claim on you and you couldn't remember another time that he'd acted this way. Sure he teased Howard, but this was more than that.

It was almost possessive and it kinda scared you how much you liked it.

Ben doesn’t answer your question. His shoulders are tense, hands clenched into fists at his sides, while something lurks behind his eyes that you can’t identify.

“Ben?” You say it like a question, ignoring the urge to press your hands against his chest like you did earlier at the dance to calm him down.

His gaze drops to your arm, where Howard grabbed you, tracing the bruises and clenching his jaw together. Ben’s right hand comes to delicately pick up your bruised wrist, running his thumb over the discolored flesh with a frown. “Does it hurt?” He rumbles changing the subject.

“No. Does that hurt?” You breathe noticing his bruised knuckles and gently probe your fingers along them.

You hated the though that he was hurt and for you, no less.

Why did he have to intervene? Why did he hit Howard?

“It was worth it.”

You both stand there for a minute, with Ben holding on to your wrist, touch surprisingly gentle.

“I just don’t like that he hurt you okay?” He mutters raising his eyes to yours. You weren't prepared for the soft look in his eyes. You expected him to still be angry over Howard, but he almost looked, worried.

“I'm okay Ben." You whisper back.

You want him to answer your question. You think again about telling him those three little words you wanted to say when you were swaying on the dance floor together but you can’t.

He nods once before he looks around the room, eyes falling on your sketchpad where it lays closed on your bed. "Got any new ones?"

You knew it was Ben's way of asking if he could stay, trying to tell you that he didn’t want to go back to Philadelphia that night, and you didn't want him to either.

"A few. If you're not too tired-"

"I’m never too tired for you."

You feel your heart beat rapidly in your chest. “Okay.”

The whole time you sit together on your bed, Ben doesn't drop your wrist, in fact he continues to brush his thumb against it while you look through your sketchbook. And in a few hours when Pearl finds you and Ben curled up in bed together, you’re not embarrassed, because deep down you’re starting to believe that Ben cared for you more than he was willing to admit.

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series, please let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

@bughill126

[archandshri]

28th June ‘24 - [arch] One Page Limitation??? - My process for Traffic Zine #5

Hello All!

A couple months ago, I got accepted to @trafficzine, a digital anthology of pieces by a large group of artists and writers based on the most recent season of the Life Series. I made this piece back in April, but thankfully I kept some notes of my process. 

Heads up - this contains spoilers for Secret Life :D

We were able to choose our own prompt from a list! For this project, I wanted to push my comic making - especially how to communicate a lot of information in a small space. I went through and watched a few clips from the series to see which prompt would fit a comic and settled on Scott’s death.

As usual, I began by getting some reference images and going ham on some big paper. This gets me excited about the project and helps generate ideas. I go for whatever interests me in terms of medium and subject matter, but I try to use a process that doesn’t let me control too much (in this case brush and ink)

initial sketches for fun and vibes :D

During this, I also took the time to transcribe the scene - I wanted to use the dialogue directly, and see how much I could fit into the single page that I was allowed for the zine.

In these early planning stages I make sure to do warm-up sketches to remind myself of the energy I want to communicate. This also keeps things fun and fresh so I'm not ONLY thinking about page composition and making things 'good'. (the expectation for it to be 'good' kills a project prove me wrong)

Dialogue from the clip + warm up sketches

Next up, I started to plan what panels I have on the page. At this stage, some panels might just be a box with some words, and some may have a sketch if I have a clear composition in mind. This stage is mostly for pacing and plot, so instead of focusing on what the panel and page will look like, I will think about:

what will happen in the panel

it's purpose and

what it will communicate

Sometimes I'll illustrate a string of panels that tell the story and fit them on a page after - but this depends on the project and my confidence with the size of it.

After messing around with these and coming up with a pretty clear direction, I draw a bunch of boxes to see how the panels could sit nicely together. At this stage I might realise I have too many panels, and need to cut a few or come up with a creative solution. Nothing is set in stone at this point.

sketching panel layouts

Now begins the fun! I decide on the layout I prefer and I can start putting planned compositions into the boxes. I often do this digitally, or a digital editing process will be involved.

Once planned, I print these out to do a more refined sketch over. I find that my traditional drawings have a lot more life and character to them than digital ones, so I try to keep the majority of the process traditional, with passes of scanning and digital editing.

I tried a version with her looking out at the distance - ready to face the oncoming battle. But it still felt off. So I turned to my slides to ask myself some questions!!

I tried to think of more things that were working - but I really felt like it was lacking a lot. I was going for this slower emotional feeling because that came more naturally to me, but it just wasn't working for this image. The original clip is quite rushed and chaotic - which would be harder to communicate in a comic format but the challenge interested me. Either way, I knew I wasn't happy with this direction so... i decided to start from scratch! Back to the drawing board!!!

In the previous version, I had cut out a lot of the dialogue, but I decided to go back to the original clip and use AS MUCH as possible. Since passing the bow was my favourite part of that first composition, I really wanted to lean into it as the emotional height and final goodbye before Scott's death. It's a moment to slow down and absorb the vibes :D

I made a list of panels along with their descriptions to refer to when trying to figure out the order of panels. there were SO MANY and it was VERY CONFUSING when they were too small to read.

These thumbnails were super small and would not have made sense without my list, I swear.

I printed this tiny thumbnail out at A4, so I could sketch over it and get a clearer sense of flow. Then began a loooong process of printing out tiny photocopies and rearranging the panels to be legible. It was a difficult balance of communicating busyness while making sure the hierarchy/reading order made sense.

After some tweaking, i printed out an A3 copy to draw my panel borders and text.

Doing this on a separate piece of paper means I don't have to worry so much about messing up the text or borders when drawing the characters. This allows me to be more free and expressive with my illustration.

Woah! Quick trip back in time!! During the thumbnailing process I drew these warm up sketches! I looooved the way the linework came out. I drew this on an A3 piece of paper - and the shocked Gem would, in theory, be one of the smallest panels. So I decided to do a crazy thing.

I touched up the sketch digitally, compiling some of my favourite warm up sketches, some traditional sketches made for the panels, and filling the rest in digitally. Then I printed this image out in QUATERS at A3!! This meant the final sketch layer, printed out was A1!! (aka very large, considering the final file would be at A4, about 8x smaller)

I did this so I could get fairly small detailed lines with my pencil while being quite expressive and firm with my mark-making. Slowly, I dlined all of the panels traditionally and scanned them in. Then I assembled the finished linework on Photoshop, along with the text and panel borders and got to colouring :D

final linework :D

For colouring, I played a little bit with halftone but I found the texture made it feel a bit too busy - the panels are already doing enough. Because of this, I also decided to use a limited colour palette. Here are some images of the colouring process, which I won't go into today.

I'm really happy with how this came out - I think it captures the chaos of the moment, while taking time to linger on the emotion of it. Keeping that bow moment really made it, I think.

I think the last panel is still quite weak. Earlier in the process there was a low-angle shot of Gem about to kill Scott which may have been more powerful, but I think I was struggling with my actual drawing skill when it comes to perspective. A lot of learning how to draw, and in particular with comics, is about knowing where your skills are at, how to utilise them best and how to test and push them.

I'm glad that I started again, instead of finishing that composition I wasn't happy with. It was a tough project but I learnt sooooo much from it, and it's been essential skill-building for.... the current comic I'm working on (stay tuned!!! :0) Thanks for reading this incredibly long post! Go check out @trafficzine and look at all the other cool art Cool vibes and silly men,

Archie :D

[drtanner]

God I should be drawing but I'm pissed off about how long drawing takes for me and you're all going to hear about it now.

I'll admit it! I'm sickeningly envious of the artists whose work I see on social media every day when they call something a "quick doodle" or say that they "try not to take more than an hour" on pieces like it or whatever and it's like. Full colour, shaded, usually at least somewhat rendered, meanwhile I've been working on my poxy lineart for several hours and it's still not finished. If I were colouring and shading this fucking thing it would take me two weeks.

All of the advice for getting faster at art is along the lines of "OH JUST FOCUS ON DRAWING QUICKLY AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT QUALITY! THE QUALITY WILL COME ON ITS OWN WHEN YOU GET BETTER AT DRAWING FAST! :))))))))" and it makes me want to chew glass because that's already my fucking drawing technique. I know it's going to take me an age to draw anything so it's a hustle from the start; no warmups, just get straight into it, there's no time for shit like that or we're going to miss our deadline. This sketch isn't as good as it could be but it's good enough. It felt like I was focusing well but it's already nearly midnight and we're only half done. Oh, that doesn't look right - but there's no time to fix it now, I need to get the colours down. Doing it that way looked good when I did it over there, why does it look like shit when I do it again over here? I can't remember how I did it the first time, surely I'm doing it the same way, but if I was, it wouldn't look so terrible. This would look a lot better if I knew how to blend but I don't have time to learn, there's too much to do and I can't afford the time it'd take to experiment when I can't guarantee it'll get the result that I want. This piece looks like dogshit to me but it's the best I can do; here's hoping no one notices how bad it looks! Aaaaaand post! 👏

It's exhausting! Having the Patreon means I draw at least a couple of times a month when I might otherwise just gravitate towards doing nothing for years at a time, but god. It takes up so much of my time and I'm seldom happy with what I make, and for all of the effort I put into it, it feels like I haven't improved in a decade. There's shit I drew years ago that looks better than the stuff I put out now and it's fucking infuriating. How did I do that? I can't remember. I've added all kinds of new techniques to speed up my art but it still seems to take just as long as ever and actively looks worse for it (but it's a cinch that if I went back to doing things like I used to, it would take substantially longer now). What's wrong with me? Why can't I get better?

I work so fucking hard, and for what?

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Hi! We have a lot of replies related to our previous posts today, plus some random ones :) All twst-related, quite a lot of AzuIde ones.

Anonymous asked:

Hello hello! Just popping in to say I love your art before disappearing and lurking silently behind the screen and just liking your posts for the next few months! From one fan in a fandom populated with antis to another, thank you for your service in creating the tastiest pieces ever seen in the Twisted Wonderland fandom!

Hi Anon! Ahhhh thank you so much for your kindness and support, we really appreciate it! <3

You’re very welcome, and thank you again. We’re so lucky to have people who are into our stuff following and supporting us. Let’s keep having fun with this amazing cast and 19812739187 potential relationships and scenarios that they could have.

Anonymous asked:

In reference to the last question about Idia and Azul, when in their relationship did the comic about Idia losing the board game and being forced to, ahem, “compensate” for it take place? Were they a thing or was Azul just being a creep? 😅

(this is related to the first reply from here and this comic)

A little bit of both lol When I was drawing it, I had in mind that even if they weren’t dating by that point, they already had something. They’re already flirty, maybe even had sex a couple of times…

Which doesn’t mean that Azul isn’t being a creep mind you lol

Anonymous asked:

I saw a sketch you posted with fem!Idia and just plain old regular Azul and I was wondering if that changes their dynamic at all?

I actually did talk about it, but it was about a year ago, so I’ll reiterate!

For the majority of aspects of their relationship it would stay the same. But Azul is all about keeping appearances and creating a certain image to make a good impression (and then profit from it), so at times he’ll try to act like a perfect boyfriend (or even fiancée): he’d bring flowers, talk about inviting Idia to a romantic dinner. And it isn’t even 100% for Idia: it’s for everyone else to see how perfect their relationship is and to be jealous. He enjoys this role of a gallant princely… beau. Even though both of them know that Idia is (first and foremost) his friend who knows that he is as much of a nerd as she is… So Idia doesn’t play along.

Once again, it doesn’t happen all the time. For the most part they just play board games and talk shit about everyone, like they always do. But every once in a while they’ll start arguing because Azul wants his rich genius girlfriend to also look somewhat presentable, and Idia would absolutely hate that.

Then again, I guess Azul would do that to regular!Idia too…

Anonymous asked:

Dare I ask what Idia did that merited that “one little spank”?

(this is related to this comic)

He was probably being annoying lol Azul is that one person that Idia loves to poke, because he isn’t as terrified of him getting pissed at him. Well… maybe he should be.

Anonymous asked:

I know Idia is basically ass-less but I don’t think I’d be able to resist smacking it at least once just together his reaction. Hopefully, it doesn’t send him to the hospital….

Don’t worry, his ass (the lack of it?) is sensitive, but as long as you aren’t Azul or anyone else whose slap would break 30 bones, it’s all good! The prospect of hearing Idia’s terrified little “HIEE—!!“ is way too alluring.

artfulhero-m asked:

Your dick sucking headcanons got me thinking about how Azul can't because Azul be the kind of guy to put it in his mouth then immediately be able to tell exactly how long it's been since it was cleaned and also probably what that person last ate recently based off the pre and he is NOT risking his mood to be ruined because his partner's pre tastes like he was just chugging energy drink or something lol

(this is related to this post)

Omg yes absolutely. He has a lot of reasons not to want to put any dick in his mouth, and this is one of the major ones: he doesn’t need all that information, and he WILL judge that person and nag at him, especially considering that this certain someone chugs nothing but energy drinks…

characharing asked:

Riddle sucking like that hamster with the banana meme

Yes. Absolutely. Always. This is his spirit animal.

hipsterteller asked:

Rollo is probably bottom after seeing that art

(this is related to this art)

Yeah, he absolutely is… If being a bottom was a sport, Rollo would be a champion. And he is a virgin…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Every student LOVE Rollo, like wet dreams, love letters, collections of his stuff, the usual highschool/collage romance

Of course! His vice president is super lucky to be able to hang out with him more than the other guys, but every student loves Rollo.

Anonymous asked:

Who do you think Vil had his first time with?

While there are a lot of possible scenarios, we tend to think that Rook was his first. We have an entire post about their first time together! Another possible option is Jack, I guess.

Anonymous asked:

New headcanon, Rook likes to wake up Vil in the morning with a kiss like Snow White. His lovely beautiful Roi du Poison deserves to be awaken in a romantic fashion.

Awww, this is so sweet!

And also much more romantic than to just have Rook staring at Vil until he wakes up… He should definitely do that, Vil deserved it.

Anonymous asked:

After re-reading book six I gotta ask: Any opinion on Azul/Riddle? Thought towards the end they were kinda cute together but also the way Azul pushed for riddle to be both a doctor and a lawyer felt very "I can use you in the future"

I talked about them in our post about book six, and also we have a hc post about them!

We don’t really ship it much, but their interactions really are great. And I also really like the fact that Azul considers Riddle useful, I am 100% sure that they’ll exist in each other’s lives even after graduating NRC, even if they won’t be romantically involved with each other.

Anonymous asked:

I hope to one day see Lilia go through all the bottoms and leave them all shaking messes 🙏

Grandpa is too old for this type of gymnastics..! Just kidding, he’ll leave them all shaking messes lol And THEN he’ll collapse.

You know, I think out of all of our “tops”, Lilia has the most potential bottoms ship-wise… him and Floyd, both of them have quite a harem due to their flirty nature.

So yeah maybe one day you will see Lilia going through all of them. I would like to see that…

[reigningqueenofwords]

Happy Anniversary

Pairing: Steve x Tony Word count: 2,732

Read on AO3

Tony all but bounced into Steve’s studio where his boyfriend was working. “Get cleaned up, we’re going out to celebrate!” The brunette beamed. “I’m taking my guy out for a night on the town.” 

Steve chuckled, putting down the sketch pad that he was drawing in. “Oh?” He smiled, loving when Tony was in this mood. So much better than the nights where he drank himself stupid from self-loathing. Sure, they were far less lately, but Steve would always worry. “What are we celebrating?” He asked as he got up. 

“Remember that movie I auditioned for months ago?” He started, reminding Tony of a giant child who was telling a story. Steve nodded, letting him go on. “Well, you’re looking at the lead actor, baby!” He held out his arms, a proud look on his face.

Pulling him close, he kissed him lovingly. “I’m so happy for you!” He kept his arms around him. “I know how much you wanted this part.” He rested his forehead on his. “Where will you be filming?” He asked, curious. “And do you know who you’ll be working with?” 

“Details!” Tony chuckled. “We’ll talk over dinner. And then when we get back I want an update on what you’re working on for your show.” He told him. “Which, I’ve already warned them I’m not missing that for anything.” He promised his boyfriend. “You’ve worked so hard for this.” 

Steve blushed lightly, a shy smile on his face. “Thank you.”

Sipping their wine, Steve watched Tony before he went on about filming- it was taking place in London, and Paris was all he’d said so far. “I don’t know the lead actress, and I won’t until we start shooting.” Steve looked surprised when Tony told him that. “She won’t know who I am, either. They said that they want a look of surprise for that first scene, to make it more authentic. Color me intrigued.” He shrugged. 

“That’s new.” He nodded. “But, I guess that would make it very authentic.” He chuckled. 

“I do know that I’ll be working with Natasha Romanoff again, so I can’t complain there.” He mused. They’d worked together on a couple other films and gotten along fairly well. “They’re hoping for Thor Odinson, as well. Something about possible scheduling conflicts.” He explained. “I’m hoping, too. He’s easy to work with, and I haven’t seen him in a couple years.” 

Steve smiled. “I can’t wait to see it.” He chuckled, knowing it was a while before that happened. “I always love your work.” Which was true. That was how they had met. Steve had drawn Tony from one of his movies (one Tony felt was far from his best work), and Steve’s best friend managed to get it to the A list movie star. 

“You did what?!” Steve stared at Bucky. 

Bucky smirked. “I got your work to Stark.” He shrugged as if it was nothing. “I know a guy who is dating his current costar. I asked him for a favor. He passed your drawing to his girlfriend, who gave it to Stark.” He said easily. “He was impressed. Which is no surprise, punk. You got talent.” 

Steve took a deep breath. He’d had a crush on Tony since his first movie at the age of 16- nearly fifteen years prior! How was he supposed to react to Tony having his art now? He was just some nobody who liked to draw. He’d been trying to get noticed, with no luck. “So, that’s that, right? I mean, so what, he has my drawing.” He blew it off. 

“And he wants to meet you.” He told him, making Steve freeze. “Natasha asked Clint to ask me for your number.” It sounded like he was back in middle school at this point. “He’ll be in town next week, and will be giving you a call.” 

“Shit.” He breathed. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Tony asked. 

Steve grinned. “About how we met.” He said happily. “Two years ago you called me and I nearly had a panic attack!” He chuckled. “I almost dropped my phone into some paint.” He blushed. 

Tony’s eyebrows shot up. “You never told me that.” He shook his head. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t, and that you picked up. Best call of my life.” He beamed. 

“Even better than when you get the part you’ve really been wanting?” Steve teased him playfully. 

“Oh yeah.” He nodded, enjoying their date. 

Tony had left two days ago, leaving their shared him far quieter. Their dog, Cooper, kept huffing randomly. He would always mope the first week that Tony was gone filming. “Yeah, I miss him, too.” Steve sighed. His show was in a couple weeks, and he’d done next to nothing the past day. He’d relaxed, caught up on some reading, and did some housework. Even though Tony had someone come once a week, Steve kept it as clean as he could. Reaching over, he scratched behind one of Cooper’s ears. “We’ll go for a run soon.” He told him. 

Hearing his phone, he eagerly reached for it on the coffee table. He saw that Tony was FaceTiming him and grinned, quickly accepting. “Hey you!” Tony greeted him, clearly in his trailer. 

Cooper perked up at his voice, trying to crawl into Steve’s lap. Laughing, Steve moved the phone so Tony could see them both. “Hey! We miss you.” He told him. “Obviously.” He put his arm over Cooper. 

Tony chuckled. “Well, I miss you guys, too. Thought I’d call and see how  you two are managing without me.” He usually called whenever he could when he was shooting. 

“Well, the first week is always hard.” He sighed. “Gonna take this guy out for a jog later. Maybe see if Bucky wants to join us.” Steve shrugged. “Maybe grab some pizza for dinner.” Easy to eat while working into the night in his studio. 

“Just don’t stay up all night.” Tony ‘scolded’ him playfully. “Remember when I called you once and you had blue paint on your cheek because you fell asleep next to a painting? And the canvas then had your face print on it?’ 

Steve laughed, nodding. “You mean the one that you refused to let me scrap and hung up in our room?” He asked. 

“Hey, I love your cheeks.” He winked, making Steve blush. “But, there’s another reason I called.” Tony admitted, glad that he had gotten Steve into a good mood. “I found out who my leading lady is this morning.” 

“Okay? Why am I getting the vibe that it’s not someone you want to be working with?” He asked, furrowing his brows. There were very few people that Tony didn’t care to work with. Hell, Steve could think of maybe one or two? 

Tony took a deep breath. “It’s Pepper.” He told Steve. “My ex.” He added, as if Steve didn’t know who Pepper was. Pepper had been his first love. They had been together for years- nearly ten. The last two they had been engaged, even. Tony had been the one to finally call it off. He just felt they were growing in different directions. He had been in a downward spiral from years in the spotlight. She was America’s sweetheart. 

Steve felt the knots in his stomach. “Oh…” How could he reply to that? It wasn’t like he could stop Tony from working on this film. Not when he had been so excited to be the lead actor. Not when Tony had worked so hard to leave that ‘image’ of him behind. He licked his lips, the seed of insecurity planting itself. It was no secret that Pepper still loved Tony. She’d said it in enough interviews over the years since the split- just over 5. People had wondered if the pair would ever get back together, even since Steve entered the picture. 

“I wanted to tell you before those vultures wrote about it.” Tony said softly. “And ask if maybe you could fly out this weekend?” He asked, hopeful. “Come out Saturday, fly home Sunday night? Have Barnes stay at the house with Cooper.” He chuckled as the dog perked up, wagging his tail happily. “Please?” 

“Yeah, I’ll book a flight.” He agreed, nodding. “I’ll bring my sketch pad for while you’re filming. Maybe get some ideas for some new pieces.” Anything to avoid thinking of his boyfriend filming a movie that was borderline romantic with the woman he had once planned to marry. Part of him felt like an ass. They broke up years ago, and he’d been with Steve just over two years. Why should he be worried about her?! 

Tony could tell Steve wasn’t liking this idea. “If I would have known...I would have turned it down.” He said honestly, surprising Steve. “I don’t want to work with her, and I know you aren’t a fan of the idea.” The last thing he wanted was this movie to cause issues in his relationship, but he’d signed the contract already. Even then, Steve wouldn’t want him to walk away. That’s just how he was- wanting Tony to work on projects he loved. “I’ll FaceTime you as much as I can, and I’ll be home for your show, for a couple days. I’ll come home Thursday, and come back Saturday. Maybe Sunday. They’re gonna work on scenes I’m not needed for.” He just wanted to assure Steve. “I’d kidnap you and keep you in my trailer if I could.” He teased, thankful when Steve cracked a small smile at that. 

He ruffled Cooper’s fur. “Actually, maybe I could fly out with you after my show, and stay there for a bit? I can work on some sketches anywhere.” He suggested. 

“I’d like that.” Tony grinned. “I look forward to it.” He was already trying to plan dates in his head as they said their goodbyes. 

Having Tony at his art show meant the world to Steve. While some people said that Steve was only ‘famous’ because he was ‘fucking’ Tony Stark, he didn’t listen to them. He didn’t care enough to. He loved what he did. 

He wasn’t expecting Pepper to show up, as well. Tony went straight to Steve, seeing his boyfriend’s smile falter at the sight of her. “Babe…” He started. 

Steve looked at him. “Really?” He asked. “You brought her?” He shook his head, his insecurity getting the better of him. “Missed being around her, so what? You thought you’d bring her to my show?” 

Tony groaned. “No!” He shook his head, moving them away from where most people were. “She overheard me talking to Nat about your show. I was being a proud boyfriend. Talking about how I should try to get one of your pieces for a set prop.” He saw Steve blush. “She invited herself. I asked her to come at the same time because I knew as soon as you saw her, you’d be upset. And I was right.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.” He laced his fingers with Steve’s. “Can we just go mingle, do the whole art show thing you’re so damn good at, and then get home?” He asked, just wanting to support Steve.

When Steve looked at him, he felt his anger dying down. Tony was looking at him with those big brown eyes, pleading with him silently. Sighing, he cupped Tony’s cheek and kissed him softly. “But if she gets rude, I will have Bucky remove her. He’s working security tonight with Sam.” While neither of the men were usually in the security business, they both did well. Hell, half the time just a glare from them set people right. And it gave them a bit of extra money while helping their friend. 

Tony nodded. “Deal.” He agreed. He couldn’t see her becoming rude, but he wouldn’t keep her there if she did. He pecked Steve’s lips once more before leading them back into the main room. “The man of the hour returns!” He announced, making Steve blush lightly. There were some claps, making Tony beam with pride. This was for the man he loved. 

While moving around the room, Steve heard Pepper talking to another patron. Tony had went to chat with Bucky about cars or bikes, so he wasn’t there to hear her. “Of course we’ll get back together.” She laughed. “I’m here with him, aren’t I? Besides, he’s always wanted a family. I can give him that.” She said as if it was nothing. “I think this movie was what we needed to see what we still mean to each other.” 

Clenching his jaw, Steve felt angry tears sting his eyes. He took a deep breath and moved towards where Bucky was. “I need you to escort Pepper out. Now.” He told him, his voice low. 

“What? Why?” Tony asked, looking confused. “She’s just been talking to everyone else, enjoying your work.” 

“No, she’s telling people you’re getting back together, that she’s your date, and that you’ll have a family together.” Steve told him. “Whatever. Bucky, just make everyone leave. Show’s over.” He stalked off. He didn’t believe Pepper, but her words still stung. Tony never mentioned wanting a family to him, but had that been an old dream of his? And Tony basically defended her!

Bucky stared after him for a minute before standing up straight. “I need to ask everyone to leave.” His voice killed every bit of conversation that was going on. “Now.” He added firmly. His eyes went to Tony. “Why are you still standing here?” He raised an eyebrow. “Either go after him, or get the hell out with her.” He told him, gaze looking over the crowd. He spotted Sam at the door, ushering people out. 

Steve was sitting on the floor, back against the wall. His knees were up, his elbows resting on them, and his head was in his hands. This wasn’t how he had seen tonight going. “Steve?” He tensed lightly at Tony’s voice. 

“Do you want a family?” He asked softly. 

“What?” 

“Do. You. Want. A. Family? Marriage? Kids? All that?” Steve looked at him, but Tony couldn’t read his expression. 

Licking his lips, he walked over and crouched. “Do you want that?” He was curious. He could see Steve being a great dad. The perfect dad. Him? He was a screw up most of the time. 

Letting his head lean back, he shrugged a shoulder. “I’d like that, but I never even thought it was an option for us.” He admitted. “Figured Cooper was it for us. You never said anything about wanting anything more.” He’d always hoped one day that Tony would want to marry him, but at the same time, he tried not to. 

“Let me finish this movie, and then I’m taking us on the most romantic vacation.” He started. “I’ll plan some cheesy proposal, and then we’ll plan a very us wedding.” He grinned. 

“You know you just gave away any element of surprise, right?” Steve teased. “And I don’t need a showy romantic vacation, you know that. I’m happy just spending time at home, relaxing.” He reminded him. “Unless you were planning to take me to the Louvre.” He said playfully. 

“Oh, I would buy it for you if I could.” Tony took his hand and kissed his knuckles. “Now, let’s go grab something to eat with the muscle twins, and head home to Cooper.” He stood up, pulling Steve with him. 

“Daddy!” Came a voice, paired with the sound of little feet running. 

“Munchkin!” Tony beamed, scooping up the little girl. “Were you good for Daddy?” He asked, kissing her cheek. 

She nodded. “I missed you, though.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Daddy’s out back with Matty and Simon.” She informed him. 

“Then, let’s go see them, Princess Anna!” He kicked the door shut and made his way through the house, bouncing the four year old as he went. Walking out into the backyard, he saw all his friends and the rest of his family. Steve had one of their twins on his hip while the other stood next to him. They had turned two the month before, and Tony had been filming since the week after their party. 

Steve looked over and beamed. “Happy anniversary!” He called out to his husband of seven years. 

Tony never looked happier as he made his way to him. “Happy anniversary.” He beamed.

[mazthemeh22]

Old Art Part 2 (May 2022-Dec 2022)

Here's all my old art, originally posted to Twitter, with their original descriptions! (Some pieces are grouped to save space. Newer posts are first to keep original order. Links to tags and ppl are removed. Find this post via the hashtag #MazOldArt)

12:26 PM · Dec 31, 2022 //Finished a commission for a friend-of-a-friend's birthday, featuring Scaramouche and their adorable dog. This was only a special one-off request, but in the future I hope to open comms to all! Happy Birthday!! 🐶🎂✨#digitalart #DigitalArtist #GenshinImpact//

3:14 AM · Dec 23, 2022 //Asked a friend what I should doodle, and they suggested an edgy-looking crow. Time: 1h 30 mins. #Bird #digitalart//

12:42 PM · Dec 21, 2022 //A little while ago I was asked to animate the cigar on the St Bernard emote I drew a few months back for a friends Twitch. I think it turned out pretty well considering i'm not used to animating! ^^ #animation #dog #animated / (Twitter butchered the quality but it looks way better on stream ^^)//

5:23 PM · Dec 20, 2022 //Sorry for being inactive for so long, no reason other than art block/lack of motivation. Not sure how much I plan to post going forward, so if I'm gone for a while again.. have a wonderful [insert time]! Thanks to yall who've stuck around! Have a doughnut!//

8:39 AM · Aug 27, 2022 //Also, I forgot to post the fox we did over the last few streams! I feel so much better about painting fur each time I draw a cute fuzzy being. Here's the cutie all done! 🦊🦊 #fox #digitalpainting #realism #fur #animalart #cute #DigitalArtist//

8:34 AM · Aug 27, 2022 //Finished some Emotes for Kush! Here's a couple of them: #twitch #streamer #emoteartist//

9:40 PM · Aug 17, 2022 //Here's the 'gator and (alligator-snapping) turtle I drew for /RAlgiera! Getting faster and painting things, even if I kept it a bit rough. They're friends. :3 #digitalart #alligator #turtle #krita//

12:21 PM · Aug 14, 2022 //Fanart for the fabulous iLLxbiLL on Twitch, after a massive W in Getting Over It. Don't ask what's in the bucket... #digitalart #fanart #funny #streamer #gaming #gameart//

6:32 AM · Aug 13, 2022 //Finally this lengthy practice is complete! For around 16 hours, over the course of 2 days, I practiced drawing and then painting these wild fluffy doggos on stream. I've never done this amount of continued study before.. doing p much one after the other was a feat but I managed. / I also feel a sense of triumph through seeing obvious improvement when looking at the drawings in the order I did them. However my favourites overall are 4 and 5 as they have the most clarity and accuracy, done when I had the most optimal energy and a lack of drawing fatigue. / #digitalart #wolf #wolves #realism #practice #sketching #painting #krita #art #study #artstudy//

10:43 PM · Aug 6, 2022 //Finished our beautiful happy little froggy and made an emote for Kush out of it too (oo pretty crystal-looking frog). Cheers for hoppin' in!//

5:56 AM · Aug 4, 2022 //On stream tonight I drew a friends cat named Kota, who has a funky pattern that was hard but fun to replicate. Enjoy this cutie and thanks to everyone who came to hear my voice for the first time along with the updated set up. :)//

8:23 PM · Aug 1, 2022 //Here's the Blastoise and some doodles from the stream!//

12:08 PM · Jul 29, 2022 //Wasn't sure what to draw for the stream but a friend suggested to paint a sunset so that's what I did. Not something i'm used to so required some experimenting but it went well! Also did another emote for Kush. ALSO we hit 25 followers! Thanks guys! &lt;3//

2:57 PM · Jul 28, 2022 //Had a lovely stream where I painted a cute boopable danger noodle named Cheese. Thank for all who stopped by! #digitalart #pringles #snake #realism//

10:26 AM · Jul 27, 2022 //Thanks to everyone who came to stream today! It was a long one. XD I got a lot done. Hope to see y'all again next time! Here's what we did: / Emotes for KommissionerKush on Twitch, a random animeish girl posin', and a free doodle requested by Drachenmen.//

1:20 PM · Jul 25, 2022 //Here's my entry for the Hollow Soul DTIYS competition by GebsArt! #6ebsContest #dtiyschallenge / This was a tricky but fulfilling piece. I haven't done much digital painting before so i was learning as I went and all in all, i'm pretty proud of how it came out. I changed the original pose to showcase (ha, Sho-case) his shocking ability and make him look a little smug.//

1:47 AM · Jul 14, 2022 //Things can get very cursed when watching an /izadoodle_stream... meet King Borbius (King Borb for short,) a cross between the 2 best franchises of all time. Keep on Morbin', my minions. #Morbius #Minions//

1:13 AM · Jul 1, 2022 //A birthday gift for /itsvollx, Terra from Teen Titans! Hope you like it! #TeenTitans #Terra #Fanart//

10:54 AM · Jun 26, 2022 //Dustin Kalloy (OC) of Taluchia, a peppy young lad with a kind heart and desire to learn about the family he never knew. Now he has to face an unfortunate truth - things aren't quite as they seemed. I wrote a brief little blurb to go with this fella. Enjoy!//

2:41 AM · Jun 20, 2022 //Drawn for another viewer during /JubelNaomi's twitch stream. Thanks for the Blartspiration!//

5:04 PM · Jun 1, 2022 //Drew Saiki K (minus his accessories) to practice anime style. Tried out some cell shading and warmer colours. I like how the eyes came out. :)//

9:10 PM · May 31, 2022 //Started trying to practice painting metal. It's very hard but tried to have some fun with it, even if not perfect. The skin and lock were inspired by a random mimic painting - which then inspired the mimic. :)//

Thank you for trekking through this massive thread. Stay hydrated. :)

[genericpuff]

Ladies and gentlemen... we got 'em.

Every now and then, Rachel will post a sketch to her IG story or her page, oftentimes accompanied with a caption that states how hard at work she is.

Now, some of my pals and I in the UnpopularLO Discord have been taking note of the time stamps of when these get posted, so we could keep an eye out for when they inevitably show up in an episode. Normally I wouldn't be hyperanalyzing a creator's posting habits like this, but there's been a unanimous suspicion among the LO community that Rachel's buffer for LO is only a couple weeks ahead at any given time. So, we waited. We kept our eyes peeled for these panels to show. And hoo boy, are the results of this little experiment pretty damning.

The sketch on the left was posted to Rachel's IG about 4 weeks ago. It showed up in Episode 219, posted last week on October 29th.

The sketch on the right was posted to Rachel's IG story on October 27th. It showed up in this week's episode, November 5th, just a little over a week later.

I'm not gonna pretend like we know all the facts from this evidence alone, but again, people have been suspicious over this for a while now so seeing these finished drawings show up in the new episodes anywhere from a week to a month later tells us a lot. To lay out some of the brunt of it:

Whatever buffer Rachel has is small and shrinking fast. There was a 2 week break at the start of the season to "rebuild LO's buffer", and from cross-referencing the HxP make-out sketch and when the episode went up, we know that the buffer at one point was around 4 weeks. Most Originals creators are encouraged to have a buffer of 9-15 episodes, not episodes in progress, but actual finished episodes that are ready for posting, so that the series can still update with new episodes even if the creator needs to take a break for a week or two or if an emergency arises in their life. With the proof of last week's sketches showing up in last night's episode, I think it's highly probable we'll be seeing another 2 week break by the time December rolls around, but it will likely be presented under the guise of a "holiday break".

Rachel does the roughs at the last minute and nothing more. It's basically been confirmed at this point that Rachel's only contribution to the comic is the roughs and script. From former interviews and Patreon chit chat posts that allude to this, to the fact that the only progress pics from Rachel that we ever see are roughs, to the credits in every episode that feature upwards of five separate assistants working on each episode but somehow the comic still manages to have incredibly inconsistent plot threads and art that looks like it's been rushed, Rachel is basically just doing the roughs for her comic, writing/drawing one panel at a time, and passing them along to her assistants to finish at the last minute. This would account for the art being so inconsistent (Rachel's roughs likely aren't very polished and don't feature any sort of referencing or direction for the team), every episode now being made up of mostly copy+pasted panels, as well as it feeling so rushed, because the assistants literally don't have time to draw different shots or put the episode through any rounds of clean-up before submitting it.

Considering there are ALSO sketches of HxP fluff that haven't made it into an episode yet*, Rachel may as well be working on fluff content before she works on anything else. Just because that H x P panel was drawn 4 weeks prior to it being uploaded doesn't mean that's the buffer. She could have just as well drawn it first because it's what she felt like drawing and either shoehorned it in somewhere or just saved the 'boring' stuff for last. So either her buffer was only a month ahead of time at one point and has since shrunk back down to 1-2 weeks, or she's working on new episodes a week at a time and saves the 'boring' stuff for last hence why each episode ends up with so many repeated copy+paste panels and drawn out dialogue. Both scenarios are terrible and indicative of a creator who is both clueless and doesn't give a shit.

Rachel spends an absurd amount of time on social media. Between her Instagram and Twitter (both of which are often chock full of re-shared fan content that has the Lore Olympus hashtag on it) her new Tiktok account, her VERY strictly moderated FastPass FB groups (that she is an administrator for so she can lock any thread that has a hint of criticism in it**) and her Discord, Rachel seems to spend the majority of her time stalking her favorite hashtags and retweeting them (I've literally had some of my own fanart pieces retweeted within SECONDS of me posting them). But she'll still put out Tiktok videos talking about how behind she is and how hard she's working - literally working on episodes the week they're due as we've proven - videos that she's clearly spending time away from her comic to make and that she's sticking around in afterwards to check the stats and respond to comments from her fans. It's great that she's sharing fanart from her readers, but not so great if she's doing it so much that it's eating into her time to develop the very comic they're creating fanart for.

Hot take, but I can't help but feel that Rachel can only afford to not give a shit about her workflow and how she manages her team because she's in the top 1% of creators. Believe me, I've seen the stress building up in the WT Originals community from creators who are being vastly underpaid and overworked. None of them can afford to be so lazy with their work, because a single week without an episode for them means not paying the rent that month. They don't get mid-season hiatuses, they don't get 2 week 'buffer build' breaks, it's a constant grind of 12-18 hour days because if their series doesn't perform well, not only will they not get renewed for another season, but they likely won't even receive any FastPass revenue due to not hitting the 'threshold' they need to hit to receive it. This is not a problem for Rachel who is someone with millions of subscribers and thousands of regular readers checking in each week but also someone who we speculate got in on the FP program before they introduced the Minimum Revenue Threshold around 2020. Hence, she likely does not need to hit that threshold in the first place to receive her earnings. Every other Originals creator who is subject to the MRT system has to work their ass off and hope that Webtoons will give them enough promotion to draw in traffic to hit that threshold and not get cancelled - but those beneficial front-facing slots are often given to Lore Olympus every time it updates, often for an entire weekend at a time, while its creator fucks around on Twitter, gets mad at 'haters', talks about how busy and 'behind' she is, while she visibly miffs around with non-comic-production-related-things like making memes or rigging Vtuber models.

Let's just say, there's a reason why whenever there are Webtoon controversies concerning the state of their working conditions, you never see Rachel say a word. She is simply not affected by WT's current state of affairs so does not feel the need to speak up against it. I'm willing to bet the only time we'll ever see Rachel talk 'bad' about Webtoons, it will be after she's inevitably driven her own image and comic into the ground.

Concerning *: Here are some sketches that haven't made it into any episodes yet. It's hard to tell if they will, I can assume the one on Twitter will show up but the other two could very well just be Rachel faffing about for fun. Either way, these exist and are still publically viewable, so if they DO show up in any future episodes, we can cross-reference them later.

Left: Oct 28th Middle: Nov 4th Right: Oct 29th

The following Hades panel will very likely show up in the upcoming November 12th FastPass episode. If it does, that not only tells us Rachel truly is only working on these episodes 1-2 weeks ahead at a time, but also that she's working on them out of order as this FINISHED drawing showed up BEFORE the UNFINISHED Persephone sketch from above showed up in her IG story - with its respective finished drawing showing up literally a week later.

Concerning **: Rachel is literally an administrator in the official LO FastPass group on Facebook, which wouldn't be an issue if she weren't so anal about any perceived slight against her work. She will literally lock any thread that doesn't make her look good.

And her own interactions with these fans posts may as well be borderline psychotic. She'll either immediately refute any amount of fan theories on the spot (destroying any semblance of discussion or fun theorizing to be had) or just... comment really messed up shit that says a lot about her and how she writes her precious cinnamon roll protagonist.

Fun fact, she got banned from a FB group that memes on LO because she tried to harass the administrators of the group to ban all criticism. The admins banned her instead. It's not really relevant to this post but I wanted to say it anyways because it's fucking hilarious.

***EDIT TO ADD: She didn't just get banned, she was so butthurt over it that she apparently bitched about it in her Patreon, which her cult accepted as permission to go after members of this same FB group. All just for not kissing the ground RS walked on. Literally psychotic cult behavior.

Let's Play creator mongie has done similar things, so this seems to just be a general attitude among the top-earning creators on WT (yikes), but that's another topic.

Concerning the actual topic at hand, the last thing I'll mention is, save for the credits at the end of each episode, Rachel barely ever gives her assistants credit when she goes on rants about how "busy" she is or how "successful" she's become. You'll never see her thank her assistants or give them credit for how easy they're making her life that she can get away with doing the roughs at the last minute and spend the rest of her time talking about her dog, showing off her new gel nails, or talking about how much of a workaholic she is. But she sure as shit will throw her assistants under the bus whenever she has to come up with an excuse for the sloppy inconsistent art.

TL ; DR: Rachel is not 'busy'. She's just incredibly bad at managing her deadlines and team of assistants and would literally rather whine about how behind she is to make it sound like she's pressed for time. Which, she absolutely is. But it's not because of Webtoons or because LO is a hard comic to put together, it's literally her own undoing. You know what they say - it takes way more work to pretend to look busy than it does to actually do your job.

Rant over.

[rainbowsnsunnies]

Bullet Journal - Beginner Tips and my first bujo

A couple of days ago, I asked for tips from the tumblr bujo community for first-timers and little hacks that help with the overwhelm a newbie feels while starting their first bullet journal (the passive pressure to make your bullet journal eye-catching is unreal!). As always, the studyblr community and the bujo community here was super helpful and they gave me some amazing tips and advices. I thought of compiling it into a post for later reference and as a basic guide for someone who is just starting out and could do with some extra tips.

Don’t blindly follow spreads, customise them to fit your OWN needs, there’s no one-size-fits-all

Your first bujo will almost never look like the ones you see on Studyblr/Pinterest. Accept it, you’re just starting on the journey. You’ll get better with time

MAKE SPREADS THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO USE (this was repeated quite a few times, so I wanted to highlight this), the more spreads you abandon (like unnecessary habit trackers, or daily spreads when you really don’t have much day to day), the less likely you are to continue with the journal.

Have a pen you like and keep it along with the bujo always, this helps jot down quick notes and increases the chances of you using the journal

Don’t be afraid of changing things and spreads every now and then to suit your needs at the moment, it helps you find your style and keeps things fresh. This is also why it is necessary to not make too many months at once, you may not like the spread later and then you’ll be demotivated. Take it one month at a time.

You absolutely do NOT have to make it super artsy, make is as plain and minimal or as colourful and artsy as you like. Again, suit it to YOUR needs, don’t just ditto someone else’s spreads (unless it exactly suits your needs)

Feel free to get creative with washi tape/stickers if you like (Amazon is your best friend for stickers)

Pick one spread at a time and then keep adding one or two each month as you continue using the bullet journal so you don’t feel overwhelmed

Remember that functionality>>aesthetics, if its pretty but not useful to you, its not really an efficient planning system for you. If you just want to use it as a way to channel your inner artist and creativity, by all means, do it. But if your main purpose is to get organized and use it for planning, functionality should be your priority (bujo is supposed to make your life easier, not a task that you dread)

If you have the time, note down what you want to actually use the bullet journal for and what spreads will be useful to you. You can find loads of inspiration and help on Pinterest, Tumblr, Youtube, even Instagram! Don’t be shy to take some notes 🙂

Don’t over commit to ALWAYS have an aesthetic bujo. Some months you might find the time to decorate it, some months you might not. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t make it aesthetic consistently

(Thank you to @baugloophows @boot-prints @dixeyray @obsidian-rain @ptowzapotato @mersari89 @dungeonsandfierceorangecats @lunarstudiesblog @nexusnai @space-clown-bitch-boi @smokee78 @abigmothinalittleworld @seekcoffeeandfindhappiness for the advices :) )

Here is my first bullet journal, if you want to see

I am using my old diary that a previous employer gifted me for my bullet journal since I'm just starting and don't want to spend a fortune in getting a new one (I went online to get a new one, and not gonna lie, for a community that claims to be super flexible and cheap and fit-your-own-needs, its kinda expensive, I'm sure there are cheaper planners at Target. But again, the system in itself does not ask you get a brand new expensive journal, even an old school notebook will do)

Now, I'm not an artist and in no way, am capable of sketching or doodling or drawing but since I had the time and energy to do it right now, I tried making an artsy cover page. It is inspired by lootengstudio on youtube. I really liked the idea of including butterflies since it symbolizes transformation and I am kind of undergoing a major transformation currently.

(like I said, I'm no artist, but I tried)

The second page I made was a monthly cover page, again, I tried to make one inspired by Pinterest but I'm quite sure I did not imitate it well enough (I mean its a penguin of its own kind and puts God's own creation to shame, hahaha)

The next spread I made is a 6 months or half yearly goals plan. I used to have yearly goals earlier and it has never worked out well for me since I tend to put off everything till the end of the year and then cram everything in the months of November-December and end up getting nothing done. So I'm hoping breaking the year in 2 will help me achieve more, but we will see how it goes. I'm not adding a picture of the spread here since it is quite personal.

Next, I drew a schedule page. As I'm studying from home these days, it does get quite hard to separate study time from rest times. So I broke down the day into hourly blocks and kind of, time-blocked my day (for the week). I'll repeat this spread every week, depending on how different my commitments are each week. (not sharing it again for personal reasons but here is an image from Pinterest so you can get an idea)

Is your bullet journal even a bullet journal if you don't have a habit tracker, haha. The next spread I made is a habit tracker, pretty basic with squares for each habit. Only thing I did different that I haven't really seen in any of the spreads online, is that I've put a countdown for 'strikes', that is the times I miss a particular habit. I've put 3 strikes, meaning I can mark a habit as done even if I have not for 3 times, since my days get super hectic somedays and I genuinely cannot find the time to do everything that day (like say I have an essay due and if I haven't been able to work on it, I may skip my night skin care routine and instead use the time to work on my essay) and it doesn't really mean I avoided or neglected the habit, its just that it was impossible to do it that day. So I have allowed myself 3 strikes (in total, and not 3 strikes for a single habit) after which, I'll leave the habit unmarked. (again, not sharing it for personal reasons, again, a picture from Pinterest so you can get a basic idea :) )

The last spread is a weekly/daily spread. Weight loss is a major goal of mine this year, so I want to track my weight and other parameters at the start of each week. I've included a little record of the numbers (and a 'eat take-out food' coupon to ensure I eat home made food most days of the week). I usually have a lot to do day-to-day, so I've made daily spreads. Its pretty basic, just a to-do list incorporated in the bujo.

I hope this post inspires you to start your own bullet journal and is helpful in beginning your journey.

Good luck!

[marvel-fanfic-writer-8675]

Who I Once Was

Pairing: Steve x reader

Warnings: fluff then angst then a fluffy ending

Summary: ‘I miss the girl you were’ “many will, she was easier to kill” The team doesn’t know your past till on a mission when you are faced with it

You’d been an Avenger for three years, the team trusting you, even though they didn’t know your past. They’d asked you a few times in the beginning but after a few weeks realized it was a sore subject. You had the power to contour atoms in people, so you could heal them, by shifting their atoms together, or kill them by ripping them apart, atom by atom.

You’d only found out about the dark side of your power 2 years ago while on a mission with the team, since then they’ve helped you control your powers.

You and Steve got along great and after a year, you both started flirting awkwardly with each other. It took 6 months before Bucky finally told Steve to grow a pair and ask you out, so Steve risked it and did. Well, thank god for Bucky because you said yes, and you went on your first date with Steve. He took you for a picnic on the roof; then you watched a movie on a projector he had set up. The next year and a half we’re perfect, you and Steve growing as a couple. Of course Steve was curious about your past, he knew everything about you, except that. But he figured you’d tell him in your own time, so he didn’t pressure you.

“Doll, grab your mission bag, wheels up in thirty.” Steve told you, heading to grab his mission supplies, giving you a quick peck on the head when he passed by. “Alright, I’ll meet ya there.” You replied moving to grab your bag as well.

“Alright so the mission is to go in and retrieve some test tubes and information from the lab of the base, Fury thinks they are trying to replicate a super soldier serum. The base is supposedly run by a group in cahoots with Hydra called Arcane Corps.” You paled hearing the name, Steve went on with the plan. “The plan is to go in through the side entrance over here,” Steve pointed to a door on a map, “and then head up to the second floor where the lab is most likely located.” “It’s not there.” You blatantly stated. “Your map is wrong too.” You flipped the map over and grabbed a pen, drawing out a rough sketch of the building. “There are three entrances, the side one is the most heavily guarded since most people attacking would use it, the least is this secret back one. We should go in there. The lab is hidden, in a secret underground floor, there is a fake lab on the second floor, don’t fall for it, it contains lots of traps.” The team looked at you in puzzlement, “how do you know all of this,” Tony accusingly asked, jumping to conclusions. “That.” You pointed to the hand drawn map, “is my past.” You grabbed your suit and went to go throw it on.

Steve knocked on the door to the room you were changing in, “doll, can I come in?” You called out an affirmation to your boyfriend. “Hey doll, the teams gonna do your plan, but I want to make sure, you gonna be okay doing it, you can stay in the jet if you want to.” He rubbed your back, “I’ll be alright,” you said emotionless.

The plane was about to land so you double checked your weapons in case your magic failed, and took a deep breath. “Remember the plan,”Steve’s Captain America voice rang through the comms, “Y/N and I will go grab the information and bring it back to Bruce. Tony, Sam, Vision you both take the aerial. Wanda, Nat, Bucky and Clint you guys get the guards. We got this.” The plane landed and you started the fight against your past.

You and Steve fought your way to the lab, it was right were you said it would be. Steve loaded the test tubes into his suit, you found some papers on you so you stuffed them into yours without telling the rest of the team, you planned on burning them. “Come on doll! We got the goods! We need to go!” You hurried after Steve. You got outside and the team was fighting off more people, you finally had everyone knocked out or dead, except the head of the labs. “I got him team, this one is personal.” You said over comms and the team let you have it, they knew how they would feel if it was their past’s terrorizer standing in front of them. The team stood behind you in case something went wrong, you faced the doctor that haunted your nightmares.

“Ah, my little pet project, it seems you’ve changed. Where’s that little girl who was scared and did whatever she was told? Maybe if I remind you of the screams and terrors, you will change back?” Dr. Ivona grimaced. “I’m not your little pet.” You seethed. “You know, I miss the girl you were.” “Many will, she was easier to kill.” With that, you tore the doctor apart, killing them.

You walked back to the quinjet, still heavily breathing, the team was walking behind you. Steve ran and caught up with you, he didn’t talk but just took your hand and unclenched it, then intertwining his fingers into yours. You went and sat in a secluded room on the jet, Steve had to go deal with Captain stuff but after 10 minutes he came back to you. Steve knocked on the door, “hey doll, it’s me, can I come in?” “Yeah, sure,” you responded and Steve carefully came in. He went and sat next to you, pulling you in for a hug. “You alright doll? I’m here if you want to talk.” He told you sweetly. You pulled out the papers you had gotten, as a few tears rolled down your face you turned to Steve, “these pages, all reports on me, and what they did to me. Pictures, detailed reports, even a flash drive with videos.” Steve sat comforting you as you told the story of your past. He was determined and promised himself he wouldn’t get mad at you for not sharing any of this before, so he didn’t.

After you were done Steve just hugged you harder, “I’m sorry you had to go through that doll, you’re so strong, I love you so much doll.” You leaned into Steve’s touch and relaxed for the first time since the beginning of the mission. Realization then hit you and a new food gate of tears opened, “I really did it Steve, I, I killed them, I should feel good about it, but their words just keep haunting me.” Steve sat, rubbing your back as you sobbed into his shirt he changed into. “Doll, it’s alright, I’m here, it’s going to be okay, I’ve got you.”

Once you got back to the tower you were pretty much your normal self again, on the outside at least, your scars were still there on the inside, and still pained you, but deep down there was relief that Dr. Ivona could never harm you again. You had your Steve, you had the team, your family, and you were stronger than ever.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 15) - Trouble In Paradise

Summary: The reader is enjoying settling into her newfound children’s book career and shares how important the bracelet she gave Jensen is to her. A rainy day allows the reader to enjoy her shift into motherhood despite all of the bumps that go with it. But not everything is smooth sailing for the happy couple...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,600ish

Warnings: language, angst, mention of past abuse, nightmares, major angst

A/N: Uh oh. Big uh oh. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

Two Weeks Later

“Honey bun,” sang Jensen as he stepped into your home office you’d set up in the small reading room in the house. “Must you work today?”

“I do occasionally have to work on that drawing thing,” you said. He pouted and laid out on the daybed, picking up a copy of the third book. “Give me another hour to finish with these pages.”

“Can I hang out and watch you draw?” he asked.

“Knock your socks off,” you said. You picked up your stylus again and went back to your pad, Jensen sitting up and watching from the other side of the room. “You can sit closer if you want.”

He got up and pulled over a chair, crossing his legs in it.

“I basically draw using my stylus and this pad and it shows up on my laptop screen,” you said.

“We could get you a better screen, like your own separate work computer. I know your stories are picking up a lot of steam.”

“I’m okay for now. All I need to do is finish illustrating this book and my five book deal is done and ready for print,” you said.

“Can I make a request?”

“I would love to put in a giraffe for Zepp but the story takes place in the woods,” you said.

“Baby giraffe? Maybe just in the background?” he asked.

You backed out of your current page and went to the last two where the foxes and wolves were playing with their friends. You tapped on a tree and erased it, sketching out a loose shape.

“Look up a giraffe for me?” you asked. He tapped away on his phone and pulled up a picture. “Thanks.”

You drew a picture of a rough giraffe, softening it some before adding colors.

“You’re really good at that,” he said.

“The characters are easy. Backgrounds can get boring,” you said. You went back to your original set of pages and worked quietly, Jensen watching carefully. “Yes?”

“Just wanna spend time with you is all,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Okay, baby,” you said. You worked for another hour, Jensen asking the occasional question but mostly staying silent and close by. After you sent off the pages for review you turned to him, Jensen offering a soft smile in return. “All set with work for the day.”

“Awesome,” he said.

“Where’s the munchkins?”

“A movie,” he said. You ran your fingers through his hair and he leaned into it. “Tell me a secret.”

“A secret? I don’t think I have too many of those left from you,” you said. He opened his eyes and looked at you through his lashes. “What?”

“You said you got this on vacation,” he said, holding up his wrist, the bracelet you’d put on him two weeks ago still there. “When we were down there, I was talking to Ray and he kinda implied it wasn’t just a souvenir.”

“I was upset that day when he bought it for me. It meant I was safe was all,” you said.

“How long after did your mom…”

“A few months. She went on bed rest after that trip.”

“Y/N, I know when you’re holding back, honey. I would never judge or tell anyone anything. You know that.”

“You got hurt because you lost someone and you got hurt and it sucks right? But it’s kinda like something happened and then you heal from it right?”

“Yeah…” he said. “What don’t I know?”

“You know how anxious you were to get in the car and drive down to the beach?” you asked as he nodded. “You’ve never been afraid of a person, Jensen. It’s like that feeling...but everyday and you’re expected to live your life normally when you constantly have that over your head.”

He was quiet, glancing past you as the room grew darker from some passing clouds outside.

“Canada wasn’t the first time you saw your father since you were adopted, was it,” he said.

“You wouldn’t believe what a good lawyer and shitty laws will do for a piece of shit like that,” you said.

“You were a kid.”

“With zero physical evidence. Everything was circumstantial. So he got out and he came to apologize or some bullshit and Ray decked him.”

“The more I learn about Ray, the more I like him.”

“My mom kicked him in the nuts.”

“I really like that woman,” he said. You smiled and he moved his chair closer, pulling you into his lap. “I don’t mean to make you talk about your dad. I was curious was all.”

He went to take off the bracelet when you put a hand over it.

“I don’t want to remind you of something bad, sweetheart.”

“Like I said, I was upset. Very upset and in public and I went down to the beach to try to hide away. Ray bought that for me and told me I was safe when he put it on me. All it means to me is that you’re safe.”

“What about you? What do you have?” he asked quietly. You cocked your head and moved your hand to rest over his chest. “Alright, sort of a dumb question.”

“Not dumb,” you said, trailing your fingers down his chest.

“Guess you’ll just have to stay as close as humanly possible.”

“I don’t have a problem with that,” you said.

“Do you have a restraining order against your father?”

“No but that’s only because Ray managed to get him kicked out of the country. He found some loophole law. He was born in the Yukon so technically he’s not American and he got him kicked back.”

“Scratch that. Ray is my new favorite person,” he said. “If only we could send him someplace we’ll never visit like...a deserted island. Or Hell.”

“I appreciate the thought but I’m not scared of him anymore,” you said. “I am however afraid our plans of lunch at the brewery are going to get rained out.”

“We can enjoy ourselves right here. I’ve never heard a complaint yet about my grilling.”

“You know what? I got the perfect idea.”

“Okay,” said Jensen, sliding the foil packet off the grill and onto JJ’s plate. You’d decided to have lunch on the grill, sitting out under the covered back patio off the playroom. It was pouring rain but you were plenty dry there. “Chicken, marinara sauce and cheese. Then we got chicken, ketchup and baby carrots for Arrow. Zeppy wanted to try barbecue sauce and onion which sounded good to me and then Y/N went for the salmon and lemon.”

You helped the twins open up their foil packets and get their food on their plates, dicing up the chicken for them before going to your own plate.

“Daddy,” said Zeppelin while he chewed on a big piece of chicken. Jensen hummed and worked on his own food. “Can we play race cars after lunch?”

“Sure,” he said, JJ shaking her head.

“I don’t wanna play cars,” she said. Zeppelin stared at her and his bottom lip wobbled. “You’re a cry baby.”

“JJ, that’s rude,” you said, Jensen glancing at you and nodding. “Apologize to your brother.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled. 

“We’re gonna play cars after lunch and you’re welcome to join,” said Jensen. “Your brother goes along with what you girls want to play quite a bit so I think you can do the same for him.”

“I still don’t wanna play cars,” she mumbled.

“You play cars with the Padalecki boys all the time,” you said.

“Not little kid cars,” she said. “He doesn’t know how to play right.”

You saw Zeppelin getting upset again and sighed.

“There’s no wrong way to play,” you said. “Zepp’s littler than you. You gotta be the big sister and do what he wants sometimes.”

“Mom would have played dress up,” she grumbled. “Not stupid cars.”

“Enough,” said Jensen. “You’re old enough to know better.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Your brother wants to play cars. We played horses all morning long and you barely let him have a turn at that so like I said, we’re gonna play what he wants and you are welcome to join us but if you don’t want to, you can play something else,” he said. 

“Baby,” she said under her breath. Jensen didn’t catch it but you did.

“JJ you’re in timeout after lunch. Ten minutes,” you said. 

“I didn’t-”

“You just called him a baby. You want to make it fifteen?” you asked.

“You’re not my mom! You can’t give me timeouts,” she said.

“Half an hour now,” said Jensen. She stared at him and he shook his head. “Eat your lunch.”

Zeppelin spent half of it crying quietly and JJ barely touched hers before she was following Jensen inside. You threw your head back and sighed before you went inside to get some tissues. When you came back out Arrow was hugging him tightly.

“Let’s clean you up, buddy,” you said as you squatted down beside them. She let go of him and you wiped off his face and helped him blow his nose. “Feel better?”

“We can play dress up,” he said. You picked him up and hoisted him on your hip. 

“We’re gonna play cars. Arrow, do you want to play with us?” you asked. She smiled and nodded. “Hey how about you go wash your hands and then you can bring out the bucket of cars and we’ll play out here. How’s that sound Zepp?”

“Okay,” he said. Arrow went inside and you carried him around as you collected the trash and threw it in the bag you brought out. You tied it up and left it in the corner to put in the bin later before you you walked to the edge of the covered patio, rain coming down at a decent rate. “Y/N you’re my mom right?”

“I’m one of your moms,” you said. “I’m gonna adopt you that way everybody can know I am though.”

“Cool,” he said softly, resting his head on your shoulder. “Mom can we play in the rain?”

“Hear any thunder?” you asked. He shook his head. “See any lightning?”

“Nuh uh,” he said.

“Then we can play in the rain all you want,” you said. You walked out to the grass and spun around with him, getting a giggle out of him. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” he asked. You spun around again and he laughed.

“There it is again!” you said. He giggled and you spun around a few times until you were dizzy and took a seat. He hugged you and kissed your cheek as you noticed Jensen leaning against the post of the patio. He was smiling and you hopped up with Zeppelin, waving him around in the air until you were back under cover. You set him down and he ran over to Arrow, picking out his favorite cars from the bucket and handing her some. 

“Well that might have been one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen,” he said. 

“You took a picture, didn’t you.”

“Oh several,” he said. He glanced back at the twins and then at you. “It clicked for you just now didn’t it.”

“Being a mom? Yeah.”

“You didn’t look to me on how to discipline JJ and you made him feel better and you made him laugh. You went full mom there and I’ve kinda been waiting for that.”

“I know it’s just playing they’re arguing over but I just hate...there is so much of you in him,” you said.

“I know and that feeling will never go away but it means you love ‘em and loving them is my only requirement for us working so this was actually a really good thing.”

“Those two are so sweet,” you said.

“It’s the twin thing. Oh what fun we have to look forward to when they are teenagers and they lie to us for one another,” he chuckled.

“Yeah but I’ll take it. Did you really give her a half hour timeout?”

“Fifteen minutes. She needs to share more and he doesn’t like confrontation so he goes along with what she wants but it’s not her road or the highway.”

“She’s been a little…”

“I know. Since we told them about the engagement,” he said. “We gotta talk to her on her own.”

“Let me take a crack at her first?” you asked.

“You got a hunch?”

“I don’t think having a mom again is a problem. I think the idea of losing a mom again is.”

“That makes sense considering she was attached to your hip before all this.”

“I’m gonna go see if I can get to the bottom of this. Now go play cars,” you said. He kissed your cheek and you headed inside, drying off some with a towel in the laundry room before you went up to JJ’s bedroom. You knocked and cracked open the door, catching her splayed out on her bed. “JJ. Can we talk?”

She rolled and put her back to you. You sat down on the edge of her bed and took a deep breath.

“You know your brother did what you wanted all day. You have to share,” you said. She didn’t say anything and you lay back on the bed, turning your head. She rolled back the other way and you sat up. She rolled again and you tilted your head back. “JJ do you want me to be your mom?”

“No,” she mumbled. 

“Are you lying?” She didn’t move and you sat back, her face scrunched up. “Are you scared if I’m your mom something bad will happen to me?”

“I don’t want two dead moms,” she said. 

“I have two dead moms,” you said. She blinked her eyes open and sat up. “My first mom, I never met her. She died giving birth to me.”

“You only had a dad when you were born?” she asked. You nodded and pulled her into your lap. “Did he get married again?”

“No. My dad was very mad my mom died. He took that out on me. He was a bad guy. He went to jail and I got adopted by my mom when I was your age. Ray was her boyfriend. He acted like he was my dad in a lot of ways. I was sixteen when my mom died. I understand it hurts, sweetie, and that it’s scary and you don’t ever want to feel like that again.”

“I thought if I was bad you and daddy wouldn’t...and then I don’t have to feel bad again.”

“I am so sorry honey but you can’t stop that feeling from never coming back. The only way you could not get it would be to not love anyone or anything and that’s not a life at all. It’s the price you pay for loving someone. Your mom was an accident. But Daddy is young and I’m even younger and I promise you will not have to feel that way about me for a very, very long time.”

“How long?”

“How about fifty years?”

“Fifty years? That’s forever,” she said. 

“I’ll give you fifty years if I can be your mom and you stop picking on Zepp. Deal?”

“Okay. I’m sorry I made him cry.”

“I’m not the one that needs an apology,” you said. “Now do you want stay in here all by yourself or do you want to come play with us?”

“I can play?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” you said. You got up and carried her down on your back, setting her down to let her run off out to the porch. Jensen got up from his seat and held up a finger, ducking back inside to where you were.

“That’s what I like to see,” he said as she gave Zeppelin a hug and he handed her a car.

“I did have to promise not to die for fifty years.”

“Fifty? You got off easy. I had to promise a hundred after the accident,” he chuckled. “I should have noticed she was scared.”

“I have more experience being a scared little girl than you do. I got experience with letting people get close again too,” you said.

“How’s that working out for ya?” he smirked.

“He’s lucky he’s hot,” you said. He threw his arm over your shoulders and grinned. “Do you want to get married in the fall?”

“This fall?” he asked.

“Can we pull it off that fast?” you asked.

“Yeah. We don’t have to book a venue which is the hardest part. I don’t see why not. What’s the rush?” he asked.

“It’s easier to adopt them if we’re married,” you said. “I don’t really want to wait longer than we have to if that’s alright.”

“I’d say let’s go drive down to city hall and get a justice of the peace right now if I knew my mother wouldn’t kill me for it. How about I call up the lawyer and ask him to start prepping the paperwork as if we already were so it’s all set to go,” he said.

“You have a lawyer?” you asked. “They’d do that?”

“Y/N, honey. My taxes alone frighten me not to mention I own a business with employees and what qualifies as a business write off still confuses me and wait you don’t have a lawyer for your book deal?”

“Should I have one?” 

“Greg is your lawyer now,” he said. “He’s good. He’ll do all the paperwork for us.”

“Oh good cause all the forms online were confusing the hell out of me,” you said. He shook his head and pulled you in close. 

“Silly goose,” he said, a loud boom of thunder shaking the house. “Let’s get the crew inside before it pours.”

“Who wants to build a fort?” you asked that afternoon. JJ jumped up and down on the couch and Jensen walked in with an arm full of blankets and sheets. Three little hands shot up and Jensen lazily tossed the blankets on the couch, covering the three of them.

“Hm, where’d those three munchkins run off to…” he said, Arrow ducking her head out first, hair all in her face. Jensen giggled and she rolled her eyes, the other two climbing out. “Alright. I’m gonna grab clothes pins and a few more things. You guys start designing.”

You stood back and let JJ organize, figuring out her first choice of blanket for a roof was too small. Jensen returned with a bag of clips, some twine and the step ladder, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder.

“How they doing?” he whispered.

“Picking out the roof,” you said, Arrow rushing over and grabbing his hand as Zeppelin climbed on JJ’s back and held up a sheet over the two of them with one hand. You smirked and she let out another eye roll.

“Daddy, can you pick up Zeppy so then he can put the blankie up? I told them they’re too small,” she said.

“Sure,” he said. “Tell me where you want it to go.”

Twenty minutes later the family room was covered with sheets, tied off to the stairs, chairs, the ceiling fan after Jensen broke out the larger ladder to get up there and assured you it wouldn’t bring the whole thing crashing down. 

“Can we sleep in here tonight?” asked JJ. 

“I don’t see why not,” you said. “There’s plenty of room on the couch. We’ll bring down your comforters when it’s bedtime,” you said.

“Can we watch Cars?” asked Zeppelin, glancing at JJ. 

“Okay,” she said. She gave him a hug and picked him up, Jensen smiling to himself as he looked on.

“Can we get pizza for dinner like a real sleepover?” asked Arrow. 

“We did cook up all the chicken at lunch,” you said, giving Jensen a side eye.

“Yeah we’ll get one,” he said. “Why don’t you turn on your movie okay? We’ll be right there.”

You let Jensen pull you into the kitchen, smirking as he picked you up and sat you on the counter.

“Seems like today’s crisis has been averted,” you said.

“I’m sure they’ll go back to tormenting each other tomorrow but I’ll take it,” he said, reaching into the drawer next to you, pulling out a menu. “So. You interested in pizza?”

“Oh that looks interesting,” you said, taking the pamphlet out of his hand and tapping at a special. “One cheese, one speciality, boneless wings and garlic bread? My little carb loving heart is in love.”

“She’s not the only one,” he said, leaning up on his tip toes and kissing you. 

“Are you coming?” groaned JJ from in the fort. You shook your head and Jensen kissed your neck, even nibbling before he pulled back. You smacked his chest and he set the menu down, giving you a wink.

“We’re coming in right now. Don’t wait for us kiddo.”

You woke up sweating, Jensen shushing you, arms wrapped around you. You took a deep breath and caught the clock said it was almost three. You turned in his arms and buried your head in his chest, his hand rubbing up and down your back.

“You’re okay. Bad dream is all,” he said softly. You nodded and started to relax, flinching when there was more thunder. “Hey, it’s okay. Nothing’s gonna get ya.”

The thunder shook the house and you tensed up. Jensen pulled the covers over both your heads and you crammed in as close as humanly possible when more thunder hit.

“Honey look at me. Please look at me.” You lifted your head and saw a horrible face in front of you, a scream ripping out of your throat.

“Y/N,” you heard as you woke up absolutely drenched, Jensen’s hands on your face. “Honey, talk to me. Can you hear me?”

“Night terror,” you said quietly. 

“Yeah, JJ used to have them. I didn’t know adults could get them,” he said. 

“Can I have a cold washcloth? And some water?” you asked. He got out of bed and padded into the bathroom in his boxers, settling back into bed and handing you the water. You drank it down while he wiped off your face and neck, running it over your head. “Thanks.”

“You okay?” he asked. 

“Mostly feel embarrassed.” He frowned and you put the glass on your nightstand, staring down at your sweaty shirt. 

“Should I call Ray?”

“It was a stupid nightmare. I’m fine,” you said.

“You were sat up eyes wide open and talking and shouting and I couldn’t wake you up,” he said. “I know adults really shouldn’t be getting night terrors so maybe something triggered you or something during the day.”

“I know my triggers and I know when it’s just a stupid nightmare. Back off,” you said. You got out from under the hot covers and went outside to the balcony, the air nice and cool from the storm earlier. The slide of the door was loud in the the quiet and you rubbed your arm. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ve seen you have nightmares. That was a lot worse,” he said.

“I thought I saw someone watching the house earlier.”

“What?”

“It was the neighbor’s kid, the teenager. It was his friend and he came over late but I thought...it freaked me out. That on top of thinking about the fact my father is not rotting in a jail cell most likely sent me over the edge,” you said. He walked in front of you, resting his hands on your arms. “I’m okay. Needed some air was all.”

“Alright. Tell me if something like that happens again?” he asked. You hummed and he gave you a kiss. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s head on back to bed.”

“What do you mean?” you growled into the phone the next evening. Jensen lifted his head from his book in the family room and you walked away, stepping out to the private patio area on the side of the house. “That’s not possible.”

“It’s been fifteen years. He has every legal right to be in the country.”

“In the country! He got an apartment seven minutes from where I live!” you said. “I have little kids here, Finn. Tell me there’s something I can do.”

“I can get a restraining order-”

“That doesn’t mean shit to him. I need him fucking deported. I need him gone.”

“Y/N, you know me. I have never agreed to it but he paid his debt as it was assigned and he quietly followed the law. He did what he was supposed to and I’m sorry but until he does something, I can’t do anything besides help you and your fiance’s family get a restraining order.”

“So until he does something horrible again, I can’t do anything about it.”

“Y/N.”

“No Finn. I appreciate the heads up but...I have to go.”

You hung up and squeezed your phone tight. He knew where you lived. He was minutes away and there was absolutely zero help until something went wrong. You sat on a bench and bounced your leg. Nothing could go wrong. You couldn’t let anything go wrong. Who knew what the son of a bitch would do to any one of them.

You stopped bouncing your leg just as you heard the door open. You lifted your head and stood, spinning around to Jensen standing there.

“Everything alright?”

“Actually no.”

“Who was on the phone?”

“My ex,” you said, swallowing. You crossed your arms and thought of the things Jensen had told you about acting and getting in character and all that. You were gonna destroy him. Fuck you were going to end up shattering him into a thousand pieces he’d never put back together. 

You couldn’t really lie just to keep them away from him, could you? 

You saw Arrow run past in the house and made your face hard. Broken heart but safe kids was worth it.

“I thought you didn’t talk to him anymore,” said Jensen. You turned up your chin and he smiled. “You are the worst actress in the world. Who was it really?”

“I think we’re moving too fast and I want to take a break and I would appreciate it if you gave me my space to figure this out on my own.”

“Uh, what?” he said. You brushed past him and he followed you in, all the way up to your bedroom. You got out a bag and he flipped it shut. “What the hell is going on? Who was on the phone?”

“My boyfriend,” you said. He stared at you and you sighed. “You’re a great guy but I’m sorry. I can’t do the house and kids thing. I want to go see the world and not be tied down and you’re just...you’re too damn old for me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Maybe you should have trusted your first instincts when you saw me and Doug,” you said. He stared at you while you shoved some clothes in a bag. You slung it over your shoulder and he caught the backside of it. You took off your ring and put it on the table by the door, Jensen dropping his hand. “I just can’t do this anymore. It wasn’t you. I’m sorry. I really need to go.”

______

A/N: Read Part 16 here!

[ragingbookdragon]

You Light The Spark In My Bonfire Heart

Kyle Rayner x Batbro One-Shot

Word Count: 2.7K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: I HAVEN'T HAD ANY WIFI ALL DAY BUT NOW I DO AND this is my new obsession and pair and you can tear it from my cold dead hands. Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Kyle had an easy morning routine: get up, eat breakfast, brush teeth, workout, shower, drink protein shake, and draw. It was simple and effective, and helped him maintain a sense of normalcy that he didn’t always have when he was up in space. He typically started out with sketching small things, mostly faces and limbs from memory, the occasional suit redesign, then he’d get into the bigger works, drawing comic panels and the commissions he had. And while Kyle loved to be up in space, to be a Green Lantern, drawing felt like coming home to him, like it was the natural state. That being said, he didn’t love being interrupted when he was in the middle of something important—it was bad for the groove.

***

As the second round of knocking sounded on his door, Kyle grunted and stood from his desk, padding through the hallway to his front door; he flicked the lock and pulled open the door, surprise etching across his face when he saw the eldest Wayne leaning against the door frame—rather cockily, Kyle added, because the soldier’s arm was propped on the frame, the other stuck in the side-pocket of his dark tactical bomber jacket.

“Good morning, Kyle,” he greeted with a smirk. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”

The Lantern blinked, shaking his head. “Uh, no, you’re not, (Y/N).” he looked at him. “What are you doing here?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “Had some business to take care of for my dad, and since I was in the area, I figured I’d drop by and see if you wanted to get some lunch with me.”

Kyle took a moment to lean out the doorway slightly, looking down the stretched hallway. “How’d you know where I live?”

“Please, a magician never reveals his secrets,” he deflected coolly, gazing at Kyle. “What do you say? Wanna get some lunch? I know a really good sports bar that serves great food.”

He looked back at (Y/N) and smiled. “Yeah. Let me go get dressed.”

The soldier merely winked in return and with fumbling hands, Kyle managed to shut the door before his cheeks burst into flames, hurrying back to his bedroom to pull together an outfit that would impress the man.

***

Kyle almost dropped to his knees when he saw the car parked outside his apartment building, and (Y/N) knew it too, because he chirped, “Gorgeous, isn’t she?”

He nodded dumbly. “Is this a McLaren 720S?”

“Mhm.” He opened the doors and slid into the driver’s seat, looking through the passenger door. “Coming?”

“Am I ever,” Kyle breathed, climbing into the seat, immediately running his hands along the dashboard and seat. “I’m in love.”

“Wait till you hear her purr,” (Y/N) said, closing the doors, and pushing the ignition. The sports car roared to life and he grinned at the way Kyle’s face melted. “Yeah, she’s a beauty.” He put the car in drive and looked through the side mirror, then pulled out onto the street.

“Is this one of your dad’s cars?”

“Nah, I bought this for myself a couple months ago.” He pulled the sunglasses from his t-shirt and put them on. “This and an Audi TT.”

Kyle huffed a laugh. “Jesus, you billionaires live it up, don’t you?”

(Y/N) smiled. “Hey, I live life in the fast lane. Might as well drive in it too.” He pushed a button on the touch screen and music filtered through the speakers, and Kyle’s face pinched in confusion. “What?”

“This isn’t—James Blunt isn’t the music I figured you’d play.”

“What’d you think I’d be listening too? Rock?” he chuckled, turning the volume down a bit. “Don’t get me wrong, I listen to all kinds of rock music, but I figured you’d want something easy rather than head-bang your brains out rock.” (Y/N) stopped at a red light and glanced over. “You can look through the artists on my phone if you want.”

Kyle shook his head, relaxing into the seat as the melody flowed through him. “No, I like this artist.” The soldier merely smiled in return, pressing the gas pedal again, and Kyle suddenly remembered something. “Speaking of artist, I saw the canvas in your bedroom the other day. Do you draw?”

(Y/N) hummed. “Not like you. It’s more of a pastime than a lifestyle.”

“You’re good at it. You’re painting your family in their suits. Details and designs included.” The artist regarded him with impression. “That takes skill.”

“I’d like to think I just have a steady hand and a lot of patience for stressful tasks.” (Y/N) turned the wheel, coming up behind a line of cars. “It’s an easy way for me to relax and mentally run through past events.”

“Like what?” Kyle questioned curiously.

(Y/N)’s eyes narrowed, but not in a loathing way, more of a thoughtful one. “Missions, conversations, things I could’ve done differently, things I will do differently.” He shrugged again. “Painting for me is just a time when I think about everything and nothing.”

“Well, you’re great at it, (Y/N).”

He snorted. “It’s just a bunch of paintings of my family and friends and military shit.”

Kyle blinked and leaned over. “Wait, is that painting in the den—”

“The one of the F-18 Super Hornet?”

“Yeah. You painted that?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Yep. I got Hal Jordan to take me up in one a few years ago and decided to commemorate the trip.”

“Wow,” the Lantern breathed. “I stared at that canvas for at least an hour the first time I saw it. I was just so blown away by how amazing it was.” He chuckled and shook his head. “And to find out, you drew it and not some world-famous painter.”

“Hey, I could be world famous if I wanted.” (Y/N) shot back, turning onto a less busy backstreet. “I just choose to retain my talents for family and friends.”

“Because of your job?”

“That too.” He agreed. “My squad and I take careful precautions to avoid our faces being seen during any missions for the safety of our families.” His face turned as solemn as his voice. “We do what we do to make the world safer. To keep our families and friends safe. It’s imperative that we’re not seen.”

Kyle cocked a brow. “But you’re Bruce Wayne’s son?”

“I am,” he nodded. “But I’m not as…out as the rest of my siblings. You’d be able to recognize them from press photos, but me not so much.” (Y/N) pulled into a parking spot outside the bar. “People only recognize me when they see the name on the credit cards. And I prefer to keep it that way.” A goofy smile crossed his lips. “The high life isn’t for me.”

“Says the man that drives a 710 horsepower sports car.” Kyle shot back with a grin of his own and (Y/N) stuck his tongue out as he turned the car off and opened the doors.

“Okay, I’m not actively in the high life but that doesn’t mean I don’t like luxury.” He closed the car doors and opened the front door to the bar for Kyle. “After you.”

“Thank you.” He replied, and walked inside, only stopping to turn and ask, “Do you want to sit at the bar or a table?”

(Y/N) tipped his head to the side. “I’m down with both, but I like the bar more.”

“Bar it is,” Kyle said and slid into one of the chairs, (Y/N) the other, and an older man wandered over.

“Well, I’ll be damned, is that (Y/N) Wayne I see?”

He turned, expression morphing into joy as he reached out and shook the older man’s hand. “Jack, it’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you son. How’ve you been?”

“Ah, you know me, sir. Nothin’ changing but the weather.”

Jack snorted. “And the desert where you dig sand outta your ass.”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Damn straight.” He looked at Kyle. “Kyle, I’d like you to meet Jack Dagher. He’s an old CO of mine.”

Kyle shook the man’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“It’s all mine,” Jack replied. “It’s been a while since (Y/N) brought anybody here.”

At that, Kyle turned to the soldier who was busy looking anywhere but his face. “Is that so?”

“Oh yeah. Sonovabitch doesn’t bring his dates here unless he really likes ‘em.”

(Y/N) coughed, glaring at the man. “Alright, we get it. Aren’t you supposed to be taking orders?”

Jack gave him a smug look in return. “What can I get you boys to drink?”

“I’ll take a beer,” Kyle said, and Jack rolled his eyes.

“No shit, kid. What kind?”

(Y/N) snickered as Kyle flushed. “Uh, a Heineken.”

Jack sighed. “And he had such potential. (Y/N)?”

“Gimme a strawberry daiquiri then water after.”

“Still ordering fruity drinks, huh?”

“Hey, they get you drunk faster than horse piss does, you old fart.” He shot back and the old man chuckled.

“Touché.” He slapped the bar. “I’ll bring those to you with an order of chili fries.”

“Thanks Jack,” (Y/N) smiled, watching the man walk off before turning to Kyle who was watching one of the baseball games. “You like sports?”

He tipped his head side to side. “I don’t not like them. I was never a sporty kid in school, but I like watching them.” He looked at the solider. “What were you like in school? Jock or prep?”

“Probably a bit of both,” he answered. “I played sports and had the highest grades.” Shrugging, he added, “And being a Wayne boosted me into the top tier of schools, so, there’s that. To be honest, I think all of us Wayne kids were and are a mixture of every stereotypical category.”

“I can see that,” Kyle laughed. “Especially with Jason and Dick.”

“Shit, I was talking about Timmy.” (Y/N) said. “That kid’s a grade A nerd.”

“He is, isn’t he?”

The two of them laughed and a woman placed their drinks in front of them, both giving their thanks as they took sips.

“Can I ask you something, (Y/N)?”

“My muscles are one hundred percent real. Especially my abs. Which you’re allowed to feel on in envy if you want.”

Kyle snorted into his beer, wiping his mouth. “No!” a few more chuckles passed his lips as he wiped the bar. “Are you…you know…?”

“A Leo?” (Y/N) offered with a smile, but his eyes told Kyle he knew exactly what the Lantern was asking, and he said, “I like the liquor, but I don’t care what label it has on it.”

The other man smiled. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“But if you want the technical term, I am pansexual.” He regarded Kyle a moment. “You?”

“Bisexual.”

His lips pulled in an impressed fashion. “Pretty fly for a bi guy.”

Kyle gaped at him for a moment, then shoved (Y/N) in the side as he buried his face in his arms and laughed. “You’re so stupid.”

“Ah thank you,” he grinned. “I get it from my old man.”

“You,” he cut himself off with a cackle. “do not get that from him.”

“Look, you know the big man in the suit. You don’t know the complete goober we live with,” (Y/N) chuckled, smiling at the waitress who placed menus in front of them; he picked his up and flipped through it.

“What do you recommend?”

“Hmm…anything with bacon on it.” He showed the menu. “If you like salads, get the steak and blue cheese one, it’s fantastic. Or if you’re more into tacos, they’ve got these awesome shrimp carnitas with chili peppers.”

Kyle’s brows furrowed as he looked the menu over. “What are you gonna get?”

“My usual. Tomahawk steak with garlic butter and mashed potatoes.” (Y/N) groaned and rested his head back. “I haven’t had a good steak in months, and I can just taste it already.”

“So, you’re a meat and potatoes kind of man?”

He grinned, keeping his eyes closed. “Unlike the cup noodle and Hawaiian roll man beside me.”

“Ouch. Hit me where it hurts.”

“C’mon Kyle, hit me with your best shot.”

“Better watch it, (Y/N),” he grinned. “You might be the next notch in my pencil case.”

“You’re such a nerd.”

***

“Holy crap,” Kyle breathed, hands resting lightly on his stomach. “I’m stuffed.”

(Y/N) moaned. “Stick a fork in me. I’m done.”

“Done?” their waitress laughed. “You haven’t even finished your desserts yet!”

“Oh God, don’t make me,” the Lantern whined. “I’ll explode.” He looked over. “(Y/N), take one for the team.”

“Pass,” he replied. “I think I’ve gained ten pounds just looking at the rest of the cheesecake.”

The woman laughed. “I’ll wrap the leftovers for you boys.” She wandered off, leaving them alone, and a blaring ringtone filled the space between.

(Y/N) jumped a little, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Do you mind if I get this really quick?”

Kyle shook his head. “Go ahead.”

He slid his thumb along the bottom and rested the phone on the bar. “This is Wayne.”

Captain! Finally. I’ve been texting you all afternoon.

“I know,” he snorted. “I’ve been ignoring it.”

Yeah well, the longer you ignore me the slower it takes for the radar dish to get replaced.

“What are you talking about?” (Y/N) asked. “I thought you’d procured one.”

I did. Then the buyer told me I wasn’t registered for official military hardware.

He frowned. “That’s odd. You did contact Thomas, right?”

Yeah. Beady eyed looking motherfucker who serves on the George Washington, right?

“That’s him.” (Y/N) hummed. “Tell you what, I’ll call him later this evening and get it all sorted out, yeah?”

Sounds good. Hey, did you take that guy out yet? Your little brother won’t stop texting me about some twinkie you’re into.”

(Y/N) froze as he felt Kyle’s eyes drilling into the side of his head and he stuttered, “Uh, Nadeen, now’s not the best time.”

What do you mean best—oh…ohhhhhh. I, uh, I gotta go, Captain.

“Yep. Bye.” He locked the phone and shoved it back into his pocket, refusing to meet Kyle’s eyes. “So…you catch the baseball game?”

“Which one of your brother’s thinks I’m a twink?” Kyle asked. “Wait, don’t tell me. It’s Jason, isn’t it?” he grunted in his throat, deadpanning, “I can’t believe my best friend thinks I’m a twink.”

“It’s Dick, actually.” (Y/N) grinned, turning to face him and he reached over, pinching Kyle’s cheek. “It’s just ‘cause you’re so cute and perky.”

The Lantern merely glared at him, griping, “I’m not as strong as you, put I can punch pretty hard.”

“Ooo, those are fighting words,” he shot back with a smirk, letting Kyle go. “Careful, I’m ticklish.”

“I feel like I’m talking to Hal.”

(Y/N) whined, all but collapsing onto Kyle who started snickering. “I’ve just been murdered.” He buried his face in Kyle’s shoulder. “Can’t believe I was just compared to Highball. The world must be coming to an end.”

“Oh, come on, you big baby. You’re not dying.”

“I am!” he turned his head, gazing at Kyle. “You’ll have to carry me to safety.”

“I don’t think I’m strong enough to carry you.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“I did not say that.”

“You did, but in more words.”

“Alright, now I’m talking to Guy.”

“THAT’S SO MUCH WORSE!”

***

He leaned against the door frame as Kyle unlocked his front door and pushed it open, turning to look at him. “I had a lot of fun today, (Y/N).” he murmured. “Thanks.”

Winking, he replied, “I’m glad you did. I’d like to do it again soon if you want.”

Kyle nodded. “I’d like that.”

They stared at each other for a few moments and (Y/N) smiled, patting the door frame. “Well, I’d better be heading out. Have to get home in time for dinner.” He paused, giving the man a warm look. “Thanks for having lunch with me, Kyle.”

He’d not gotten two feet from the door when Kyle’s hand wrapped around his wrist. “Wait.” He turned and the Lantern leaned forward, pressing his lips to (Y/N)’s cheek. “Be careful on your way back.”

“I will,” he murmured, watching Kyle wave and disappear into his apartment, the door shutting behind him.

[destinymanticor]

🥉🌅😍!!

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

masterpost?

🥉 what piece of yours do you wish got a little more attention?

I think I would like to draw attention to this small pack of ninjago movie art N J K L C Z (I'll just add a sketch)

oh, and to this hostress from the prime empire, too, probably, although I noticed about the feet only after a couple of months, but to my surprise good lips

oh and maybe a little to this picture with a Pinkie Pie, but this is how it will turn out, considering that it was just an experiment with new brushes

🌅 what’s a piece you never thought you’d create, but did? if I understood correctly

if you think about the published ones, then this is Nineko

Literally just saw the post in the group and decided "why not"

and if not from the published, then ninjago + jojo, I honestly didn’t understand, I’m drawing, and here it is (morro), and then it started running

and now I have 0.01% of the plot worked out and the center is on citrusshipping ≡[。。]≡ and digital wip

I also have a morro enchantix winx, but I won't show it xp

😍 how many characters have you created for?  Do you have a favorite among them?

if absolutely everything, then there are more than 40, but those that I deal with are 6 and 1(+3), and those who are in ninjago can only put 1 (serpentin) only if then in AU

destiny manticor is the most favorite and important character for me, I literally grew up with her, most of all scribbles with her and you can see from them how I changed my opinions and priorities, how did I grow up?

then probably a rose and other main ones, and then the very other

it's mostly random here hide can who do not want to see it

,,,

yellow is 6 and green is the first version of Des is included in 1(+3)

serpentine hybrid in the middle - Amarant (-h)

at the top approximately final new designs of three of the six, rosa has the least change in appearance over the years

lines with circles version, except for the "berry" she was added when she tried to combine ninjago and mlp

middle right (color) is from ~2013-14

lower (~2017-19): left - just from a random sketch-comic-sketches came out, right - one of the OS's avatar

and also I'm not sure whether it is possible to consider wasps that, along the line of development on the same, but radically differ (son of pinkie pie→like jay→warten)

and I also had ay on oc, there are even drawn a long time ago

[ur-favorite-queer-queen]

New Start

For Maribat March day 15 theme new start

Master List

Marinette was lucky, she could admit that. Not because of the pocket-sized goddess of creation and luck she carried in her purse, but because of where she is. Sure, living with a magical emotional terrorist isn’t ideal, but it’s better than what her fate would have been had she never been found. 

Growing up on the streets of Gotham had been rough to put it lightly. Very lightly. In her time she had seen many good souls come and go, some to their deaths, some to better lives. She was grateful she was the latter, not many she knew had the opportunity she had to have a new start.

In other circumstances, Tom and Sabine would be horrible parents. After all 90 percent of the time they left her to her own devices. However in this case, it’s fine. For one, she was once a street kid, she knows how to take care of herself. And she is also Scarlet Luck, protector of Paris, wielder of the Ladybug miraculous, and newly appointed guardian of the miraculous. So them turning a blind eye to her sudden disappearances did wonders for her. 

All she needed in this life was a roof over her head and some decent food. Having her adoptive parents be bakers was a plus too. 

The only downside to this life was school. Not because she hated learning or the places school provided. No, she loved sitting in the silence of the library and doing her schoolwork or reading a book. And she especially loved the art room, where she found her love of designing and sewing. 

The problem was the people, the staff that mattered to her and her future, were all pushovers and she wasn’t allowed to transfer into Ms. Mendeleiev’s class. Ms. Bustier was the type to let the kids figure it out on their own, rather than step in when she was most needed. And Principal Damocles shouldn’t even be a principal with how much he caves in when it comes to the Mayor’s daughter or Rossi. 

She was thankful, however, that within her first month the students at Francoise Dupont learned not to mess with her. Or speak to her. Or be near her in general. And she was perfectly okay with that. She quite liked her spot in the back with Nathaniel, one of the only people she considered a friend. 

They had a silent agreement, which was to be silent and leave the other alone. Nathaniel would draw while Marinette would sketch and the 2 had each other's backs. Like when Marinette would whisper Nathaniel the answers during English and he would do the same with history. 

He along with Marc, Ondine, Aurore, Mireillie, and Kagami were the only ones she considered friends. Which means they were the only ones that knew why she was so on edge with the Wayne family being in Paris. Not only did none of them know how to control their emotions, but she was sure that Jason Todd-Wayne was bound to be akumatized. Why? Because every kid that was ever on the streets of Gotham knew his story. 

He was street smart, a dork, but most importantly aggressive. On the streets he picked fights with any who tried to cross him, and when he was adopted he fought the rich kids that went to Gotham Academy. That was another thing everyone knew, he hit it big when he got adopted by the billionaire that was Bruce Wayne. While she wasn’t on the street when he was she knew he was trouble. The whole Wayne family was, whether they knew it or not. 

She already had to deal with Chat every battle, she did not want to have to deal with one of the Waynes becoming an akuma. Not only would it cause an international affair considering how important they are to America, but it could get the attention of American reporters and then the Justice League might want to get involved. She didn't want to deal with the Justice League. 

Kagami was the only one brave enough to point out how she might be afraid that people from her hometown were coming to Paris. But she was wrong and Marinette made sure she never brought it up again. Through whatever means necessary.

Now one reason that Kagami was her best friend was because they agreed on something. Never hesitate. If you have an opportunity, take it. Something important that every street kid knows. 

Well here she was, standing in front of her classroom, hesitating. She could hear her classmates talking away, whichever Waynes were here trying to gain control of the situation. She guessed her teacher was either doing something out of the classroom or not bothering to get the class in check. 

With one final wish that today wouldn't be as shitty as she hoped she opened the door. According to Nathaniel she threw it open. 

And she was right, at the front of the classroom were 3 Wayne's trying to get her class to quiet down. Buster was nowhere in sight. 

Since Nino and Adrien were closest to the door they noticed her first, stopping their conversation and trying to 'subtly' stare at her. The others quickly following their lead. All eyes, including the Waynes, were staring at her. Wonderful.

Literally all she had to do was roll her eyes and everyone averted their eyes. It was always like something out of a movie. She made her way up the stairs up to Nathaniel and her seats. Grabbing a couple of macarons out of her bag she handed them over to him before setting her notebook and pencil on her desk. 

It looked like Lila was about to say something, but a glare had her swallowing her words back down her throat. Staring straight ahead she raised her eyebrow at the Waynes that were still staring, wondering if they were going to try and continue what they were originally trying to discuss. 

After a moment the oldest among them started talking again, the other two joined in, however she could tell when they would all cast her glances. She simply acted blissfully unaware, writing notes down for her and Nathaniel while he drew. She had no idea what his grades would be like if it weren't for her. 

-

This whole week had been full of surprises for Bruce. First the League finds out that there has been a magical terrorist in Paris for 3 years that they didn't know about, and these past 3 years children have been fighting him. 

So his family being detectives, they were sent to try and get information on the ‘akuma class’. He wanted it to just be him, Dick, Tim, and maybe Cass, but of course Dick wanted the whole family to come. Try to make a family vacation out of it despite the fact that there was a magical emotional terrorist that they were trying to track down and they needed to keep their emotions in check. He means no offense but that is something neither Jason nor Damian can do. 

But somehow Dick was able to get the whole family to come because only Dick can do that. And now he had Tim and Dick with him to try to talk to the akuma class about a presentation on starting a business a ploy to try and subtly get information out of them. 

They had already done background checks on them all and their families just to be safe and were thoroughly impressed by what they saw. Many of them were gifted in sports, arts, and academics, so perhaps they were just unlucky. 

The only one that concerned him was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Only Alfred was aware that the girl was from Gotham, she was specifically a street kid. Adopted 6 years ago by Sabine Cheng and Tom Dupain the girl seemed quite bright. She had excellent grades and was in the art club. However he feared what his children might do with this information. And if another reason was because she had black hair, blue eyes, and a guaranteed tragic backstory being from Gotham that set his adoption instincts on fire NO ONE HAD TO KNOW! 

So here he was with Dick and Tim, trying to get this ‘akuma class’ to quiet down so they could start the presentation. The teacher has stepped out of the room to check something with the principal and ‘give them the floor’. She probably wanted to get a reason to escape this class, he might try to get an investigation done on this school and their faculty. 

From what he observed, Marinette seemed to be absent while most of the class had seemed to be paying attention to this one girl with brown hair in a sausage hairstyle, Lila Rossi, a pathological liar, although the class didn’t seem to know that. All except a redheaded boy in the back, Nathaniel Kurtzberg, a pink haired girl on the second row, Alixandra Kubdel, and a boy with a green shirt and glasses on the third row, Maxton Kante. There was also a blond boy, Adrien Agreste, who seemed to be listening to what the girl was saying with a fake smile he knew all too well. Poor boy. 

His sons weren’t having much more luck trying to gain the attention of the class. The redhead looked to be drawing, the green shirt and glasses boy was working on what appeared to be a robot, while the pink haired girl was on her phone. Every once in a while it seemed like she sent them a sympathetic glance, the other two boys too involved in what they were doing to give them any sympathy. 

Just as he was sure his kids were about to reach their breaking points in walked the one person he hoped not to see. She slammed the door open and suddenly the whole class quieted down immediately. Now his sons were looking at her as well. She couldn’t have been more than 5’3 and she was only 16, yet she managed to silence this whole class just by appearing. 

The class also seemed to be staring at her before she rolled her eyes and they all averted their gazes. It was one of the most movie-like things he had ever witnessed. 

She walked up the steps to the back, with each step she seemed to command attention before digging into her bag and handing Nathaniel who had once been doodling a bag of macarons. He seemed to appreciate them as he gave her a small smile before proceeding to munch on one. 

Lila who had once had the attention of the class seemed to be fuming now that the attention was off of her. It seemed like she was about to say something but stopped when she caught sight of the glare Marinette was giving her. 

Marinette then proceeded to turn her attention to him and his sons, raising an eyebrow as if to ask if they were going to start. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his sons exchange a look he knew all too well, before starting the presentation. And if he or his sons casted looks over to Marinette one too many times, no one noticed. 

Bonus - 

“WE FOUND A NEW WAYNE!” Dick shouted, far too happy with his discovery. 

“Tt, what are you on about Grayson?” Damian scoffed, curiosity and jealousy bubbling in his mind at the thought of a new Wayne. 

“There’s a girl in the akuma class, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She had black hair and blue eyes, both things needed to be adopted by Bruce.” Tim stated. 

“Does she have a tragic backstory?” Jason jokingly asked. 

“Do not look up anything on Ms. Dupain-Cheng. She has a family and I will not be adopting her. Am I clear?” Bruce demanded, waiting for everyone to agree before going to take a shower. 

“Babs?” Cass questioned, knowing the girl had to have found something. 

“Looking,” Babs replied, “Oh.” She stopped typing and just stared at the screen. 

“What’d you find?” Steph asked the question they were all wondering from Babs’ unusual reaction. 

“Guys,” Babs started, turning the screen to face them, “She’s from Gotham.” 

And from there all hell broke loose.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inspired by this post I saw a while back: 

Marinette being a street kid from Gotham but had no previous connection to any of the Waynes was intriguing so I did it. I’m probably going to do a backstory chapter later on, just unsure which day I’ll do it on. 

Of course yesterday I was early so today I was late. The universe needs its balance. So sorry for the late post guys, I blame the universe. 

@maribatmarch-2k21

[stevenbasic]

This is so fucked up, Marisela Vazquez thought to herself, standing at her desk and looking over Melissa’s shoulder as they browsed through the new page designs for the practice’s website, How was I able to do all this?? In, like…two hours?!?

Marisela had spent the morning at her desk programming, writing code, and was now showing the results so far to her new Office Manager. She had always been pretty good with tech; it just sort of came naturally to her - just like her art, drawing, sketching, painting, sculpting. She’d just taken to it, since she was a kid. Web design had been a casual little hobby, and in fact she’d been the one who’d put together the site for Far Horizons a few years ago. But what she’d done this morning, after being asked by Melissa to work on the thing and add in pictures of all the new staff? It made her spine tingle...

It was really just over the last few nights that Marisela had begun glancing at her book on HTML6. If she was going to do this right she’d known she’d have to remake the entire site from scratch to get it up to current web standards. It was shocking how easily the new content came to her. She’d used premade templates before, and now this morning she’d found herself making embeds that she personally encoded for maximum streaming efficiency. She just somehow knew how to do…it all. Her fingers worked like virtuoso magic over the keys.

“I love how you arranged all the new pictures!” Melissa praised, turning to look up at her over her right shoulder with a secret, conspiratorial smile that - goddamnit why is this happening?? - made her heart flutter. Yes, she’d gotten a weird thrill from that, from feeling like she was quietly part of some “movement”, some covert revolution. She’d liked how she’d made his picture smaller than hers, how she’d surrounded him with his women.

“I, uh, still have a few girls to add in, once they get me their pics…” Marisela answered, eager from the praise, Ugh! What is wrong with me! she scolded herself. Marisela had always been a girl who prided herself on living a bit outside the mainstream, working and thinking to the beat of her own drum. Even being a bit surly: she embraced it. She’d been called “goth” and “e-girl”, “punk” “emo” and “scary” and all that - the jet black hair, the piercings, the dramatic eyeliner and tattoos - and had carefully cultivated the persona over the years. Not as much at work, of course - she couldn’t in a medical office -  but nonetheless she liked being different. But here she was, suddenly part of some hot-girl posse, finding herself buying new push-up bras and doing her dark lipstick in ways that she knew would draw his eye. Yuck, right?

right..?

She was changing, she knew it, they all were. Not just in their attitudes, either. For one thing - though weirdly no one was really talking about it yet - there seemed to be some sort of second puberty drifting through the office. The thought was repulsive, at first. I don’t need any more fucking cup sizes! she remembered thinking, already being naturally too busty for how thin she was. But there were other changes that came along with the new mommy-milkers as well or the extra inches some of them had seen on their hips and inseams. For example she would’ve never been able to design a website like this two months ago. Or, like, she was able to do things with the office’s networks that would have baffled her in the past. She felt, basically…smarter. And, also - her art, her sketching had improved. Even that balloon thing that she did. She hadn’t worked with balloons for years, since art school, and yet it was the biggest, best thing she’d ever made.

But, Marisela had to admit, these last couple of months - since the practice had begun to change as Melissa and her friends set up shop - had been good. They had been strangely…exciting. She wasn’t a fan, at first, of the new girls. These people were mostly morons, Melissa the worst of the bunch. As a medical practice the place was becoming pathetic, a hot mess. But, jesus. She found herself slowly coming around, seeing the potential for the shit they could accomplish…and make him miserable in the meantime, as a bonus. There were storm clouds gathering, building energy…

…and it all seemed centered around Melissa.

Good god look at her, Marisela marveled, as she watched her young Office Manager stretch her arms up above her head, Who the fuck is this superwoman?? Melissa’s jaw-dropping upper torso was on full display in a tight blue tank; her business jacket had been laid down off to the side. She was somehow both athletically muscular and perfectly, wasp-waistedly luscious, bosomy and built, at the same time. So tall, she was an insanely perfect specimen.

“The girls are going to love this..!” Melissa lauded, oblivious to Marisela’s reverential gaze and continuing to scan through the photos of the staff that she’d asked the girls to contribute, assembled, and sent on to Marisela. “They all look so pretty!”

Just then, on the desk, Melissa’s phone buzzed.

Marisela had to admit that - as she watched her big-haired, big-boobed boss pick up her phone to check the text - she was getting to enjoy Melissa’s company. As much as it pained her to acknowledge, she knew that being around her was making her a better person, or at least a better woman. Because ‘better person’ may have been a stretch, with the way she was feeling, the thoughts she was having towards him and men in general. Those sorts of thoughts made her feel fucking evil; they were not the musings of a ‘better person’. She’d always despised him, since his affairs with the other girls in the office, being a married man. And the way he looked at her at times? She’d always thought it was gross. But now, she didn’t quite exactly know how to put into words how she felt about him. Part of it was, yes, wanting to crush his fucking nuts. Like, literally. She wanted to crush his nuts, under her new thick-heeled Docs (size 9!). But she also wanted to, well -

“Oh, haha, sorry Marisela,” Melissa said, typing out the last of a text in reply, “That was Vida. Sounds like he’s not feeling well, still at the hospital on his rounds.” Marisela saw Melissa bite her lower lip, squirm a little in her seat. She seemed a bit taken, excited, trying to keep herself together and gather her feelings. “She’s going to go cover his patients there, but it sounds like…”

At that, Marisela watched Melissa shudder, and then smile in ill-contained rapture. She then quickly stood, picked up her suit jacket, checked for her car keys.

“I’ve gotta go get him,” she said, with barely contained enthusiasm and a sparkle in her eye, “…it sounds like he needs me.”

=======================================

Thanks to SaulJinzler for the boob morph in the image. Check out his DeviantArt, full of goodness here

[crown-anon]

aah i thought of a req!!!!! could i maybe request one shots or hcs (separate) w dream, sapnap, n wilbur with a s/o (preferred he/him!!) who draws a whole lot,, n one day they catch him drawing him?? tysm :]

@ghcstbnr asked

gn i just realized i made a typo i meant cc catching reader drawing them- but ty again :)

of course! it's kind of long, sorry about that

I took a little creative liberty with the notion of "catching you drawing." also Sapnap's looks kind of long but it's also dialogue heavy. if you want me to redo it, I will. hope you like it 💗

& a note to everyone else, I don't write for Wilbur yet! I only write for the dream team at this time. sorry about that! this will probably change in the future, though, so look out 👀

CW: swearing

format: one-shot

people: dreamwastaken, Sapnap

pronouns: dreamwastaken's piece is ambiguous, Sapnap's piece uses he/him

edited 27 April 2021

—

dreamwastaken

since he doesn't use his camera, you find yourself with your boyfriend in the studio more often than not. when he's gaming casually, you play together, or one of you will cheer the other one on. when he's streaming, sometimes you interact with the viewers, or read donations for him; sometimes you just sit next to him, soaking up his energy and warmth. when he's working long days and long nights to edit videos, you're content with just relaxing together in the same space. at times you have to drag him out to the kitchen to eat, or help him to bed if he passes out, but…he's really cute when he's focused. (and you're starting to think he does it on purpose just so you can dote on him.)

today is a little different. he's recording for a manhunt that's meant to drop in a couple days. you're quiet, trying to avoid disrupting them. you're perched up on the loveseat, staring fondly at him across the room. he's so animated, the way his eyes shine when he talks to his friends, how he tears up when he laughs…

Patches mews at you from the arm of the couch, as if to say, disapprovingly, I cannot believe how sickeningly sweet your inner monologue is.

and you try to understand where she's coming from, you really do, but the sun's starting to set, and the gentle rays slotting through the blinds are shifting from white to gold.

he looks so divine, you decide. it's unfair. how could I not love him? he's seriously pretty. and before you can stop yourself, you're sketching him out on your tablet. you glance up at him fast to get the details right, and look away just as quickly. he never meets your eyes. soon your whole page is covered in little Clays, capturing the way he feels, the way he acts, the way you feel about him. Patches jumps off the chair, with all the moving. and before you know it, you've drawn up a whole page of concept art of your unfairly beautiful boyfriend. Patches was right about me, you muse to yourself.

fuck. Patches. the same Patches who's been meowing at you for the better part of an hour, now sitting patiently at the door? there's no way Clay didn't pick up on all that noise, you fret. but he's still playing, looking intense as ever. relief washes over you, replacing the guilt.

come here, girl, you think to yourself, knowing Patches wouldn't have even understood you if you spoke. sorry to keep you waiting. and you rise, slipping quietly out the door with his cat in your train.

—

you're coming back to the studio. Patches, fed and sated, is napping in another room. opening the door, you have to stop yourself, you freeze. your boyfriend's kneeling on the ground, sitting on his heels, right next to the door—you'd have hit him if it opened any further.

"baby, what are you…" the words die on your tongue.

my book. my sketchbook. my sketchbook full of drawings of him. shit, he's gonna think I'm such a simp! the embarrassment, the shame, the fear, it's overwhelming you.

you hear your voice break. "…what happened to recording…?"

"finished half an hour ago," he says simply.

and that was that. for the first time in ages, the silence hanging between you was thick and heavy with tension. you wait. and wait. and wait. you wait for the criticism, the hate, the argument that never comes.

suddenly, he seems content with what he's seen, when he looks up at you adoringly, and takes one of your hands, giving it a soft squeeze. "is that…me?"

you've lost your voice, all you can do is nod.

"you…you think I'm beautiful?" he glows.

ah, I suppose I did write that, somewhere in there. you look away. all the things I've said…

he brings your hand up to his lips and leaves kisses on your knuckles.

you sound small. "do I not tell you that enough?" you pause. "that you're beautiful? that I love you?"

and just like that, his nervousness dissolves into euphoria. you both start laughing at the same time.

"oh my god—" he wheezes. "—you're so sappy."

"only for you," you blurt out, and start laughing harder. but he quiets, he hesitates.

"only for me," he repeats.

you sink down onto the floor next to him. he's staring so fondly at you, you can't help but smile back.

"only for you," you affirm.

he rests his hands on your knees, pulling himself closer to you. he's so close to you, you can feel his blush. you let your eyes close, softly.

but the kiss never comes. instead, you're met with a "then what about all those drawings of Patches?"

laying on the floor, tangled up in each other, in hysterics, you distantly think I hope he remembered to leave the call from recording earlier.

—

over dinner, you meet his gaze, and he gives you that look. that stupid, handsome look; the one with the smile and the danger behind his eyes. he makes a point of pausing mid-bite, but it takes you a minute to notice that he's stopped eating.

"what's up, honey?" you ask, sounding a little more concerned than you should have been.

he shrugs dramatically. "oh, nothing…just figured you'd appreciate a muse." there it was. the teasing. you knew it would happen eventually. but the tone, it's kind, it's tempting; gentle, unlike a serious jab.

so all you do is roll your eyes, but you can't help the way your mouth quirks into a smile. "you're so dumb," you murmur with affection, and shake your head at nothing in particular.

Patches curls her tail around your ankle as she passes you by.

—

on the couch hours later for movie night, you're the last one up. Patches is curled up in Clay's lap, purring. Clay, in turn, sleeps soundly in your lap. (you think if he could purr, he would, but he settles for humming softly when you play with his hair.) you might think it's funny looking back on it later, but it feels so tender and vulnerable now. you like calm evenings like this one. Studio Ghibli plays quietly on the flatscreen; you don't know which one, you're not really paying attention anymore.

you're busy tracing the contours of Clay's skin, feeling more than seeing his shape in the dark room. mapping him out in your mind, learning his figure like you're seeing him for the first time again. you think you understand him a little bit better, every day you spend together. and with confidence, you make your first stroke, illuminated by the moon.

—

Sapnap

you only barely stop yourself from drawing a big "X" across your paper. exhale, and start erasing furiously. don't rip the paper—well, we didn't need that sheet anyway. ball it up and throw it at the dark, cobwebbed corner of the room. along with the rest of your mistakes.

you're trying. you're really trying. but those lips. his fucking lips. fuck.

your boyfriend smiles at the camera as he gets a donation with a sweet message on it. it should be so easy. he's right there. right here.

you check the time. it's been an hour. you've been trying, and miserably failing, to get his lips right for an entire hour. today, at least. you scoff at yourself, your misery, and pinch the bridge of your nose. it isn't fair.

his camera's on, and he's live, so you know you can't be in there with him. nobody knows you're together, and you don't want know what kind of backlash to expect if people found out. so you've been avoiding his streams…the whole room where he streams, really.

you've kept yourself busy by drawing. and you've cycled through many subjects in your life, and eventually, been able to draw whatever you put your mind to with enough time and effort. the problem is, your sights have been set on Sapnap, even for months before you got together. okay, maybe that isn't the problem. the actual problem is that you fucking suck at drawing him.

you get going, start it out, do an okay job, but midway through screw it all up somehow. to make things worse, your reference is his 2D image. he doesn't…know that you draw him. you're terrified to say. so you can't use the real life Sapnap as a reference, like you would prefer.

ugh, and this one's ruined too. you rip it up and throw it at your growing pile of paper balls, but being tiny confetti-sized pieces of paper, they don't make it very far. great, something else to clean up later, you huff at your own thoughts. it isn't fair.

—

"[name]?" he calls for you. you're one step ahead, already opening the door. you can't remember when you got here and decided to brood outside his room.

"hey, do you think you can—" he tears his eyes from his camera, his waiting audience, to look up at you expectantly. when he sees you he stops immediately, looking concerned, standing to meet you.

"what is it?" your voice is flat.

out of view of the camera, he mouths, are you okay? you only shrug and avert your eyes.

he falters, contemplates, sits back down at his desk and starts to talk to his viewers. "hey guys, I'm sorry for the short notice, but I gotta cut this stream short. my…" he glances at you for approval, only to see you motioning with your hands as if to say, no, don't.

(you yourself don't really know what for. no, don't end the stream for me? no, don't out us like this?)

he looks back. "…my friend…something came up with my friend. I have to take care of it. it's really important." you can tell he has trouble finding the right words. you can tell it throws him off, he's acting out of character for his internet personality. do you blame him? isn't this your fault? "sorry again. bye guys!"

the second he made the last click, he gets up and pulls you into a hug. it's unexpected, it knocks the wind out of you. you're certain he feels the tension.

"babe…what's wrong?" it's muffled by your neck and the sweater you're wearing. you just hold him, saying nothing.

he pulls away and holds you by the shoulders. "look at me. what's wrong?"

you feel all the more embarrassed. it's so silly to be upset about. "I…I…well, it's a lot."

he shakes his head, to say I'm not going anywhere, but his expression softens, his grip loosens. "do you want to talk about it?"

you sigh. "it started as 'I can't draw for shit', then it became 'why am I afraid of asking you for help?', and finally, worst of all, 'why the fuck can't we be seen together?' it isn't fair. it's never been fair. I'm sorry."

he thinks about it for a second. "okay, what makes you feel like we can't be seen together?"

"are you joking?" you snap. "we're two fucking boyfriends. in this society." he didn't look hurt by the outburst, but the guilt crept in anyway. "…I'm sorry."

he shakes his head, "do you really think I'd let that happen? I wouldn't ever let anyone hurt you, darling. remember that."

"I know, I know…" you don't know what to say. "it's easy to forget, I guess."

"what are you afraid to ask me for help about?"

"I…" shit, you guess you have to tell him. close your eyes, breathe, "I've been drawing you. trying to draw you. but I can't, it never turns out right."

you peek, and he's red in the face, stuttering. "me? you draw me? of all the hot people out there?"

you furrow your eyebrows at him. "don't give me that shit. you know you're cute."

he shakes his head incredulously. "are we talking about the same person here?"

"dude, your smile is literally the most radiant fucking force of nature I have ever seen."

"you're hot too! why are you coming after me?"

"I'm not 'coming after you', you're being defensive about your looks, when you shouldn't be! you're gorgeous, baby."

you're both giggling like girls at a sleepover, the anger and frustration long forgotten. now it's a war of who can be more grossly in-love with the other.

"what part of me," he manages between laughs. "are you having trouble drawing?"

"oh god," you groan, remembering yourself and your dilemma. "your lips."

"my fucking lips? you would think that—"

"no," you warn. "shut up. don't say it. don't you dare say it."

he leans in close, his hands have moved up to cup your face. you shiver.

"don't worry," he grins. "I won't."

the kiss is long and sweet, nothing like the ones you've shared in the past. he takes his time, you savor each other. you feel time stop ticking, you feel your heart stop beating, you feel the way he tilts his head. you grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in. and when you part, you're breathing heavy, in tandem.

"thanks," you manage. "but I needed to see your lips, not kiss you into next saturday."

"nah," he laughs. "I think you needed that too."

you choose your words thoughtfully. "do you need me, too?"

he hums, and—

ding!

dreamwastaken donated $69!

:)

you could die. you could really, seriously die.

the response is instant. you don't even see Sapnap move from you to the PC, flushed down to his neck, apologizing, apologizing, and apologizing again. "change of plans, guys, we're doing an art stream!"

the chat is filled with "huh?"s and "what?"s.

"huh? what?" you didn't have the time to process what just happened.

karljacobs: I thought we were doing a make-out-with-our-secret-boyfriends stream :(

he smiled warmly at you. "yeah. my lovely boyfriend is going to draw me! he's been wanting to for a really long time, and his art is really good. let's go get your stuff."

you're in so much shock that he makes it past you and out of the room, while you stand there waiting. after a pause much longer than you intended, you hurry after him.

—

down the hall, in your room, he's got your sketchbook tucked under his arm, closed. you're sure you left it open when you came out.

you only barely get the words out. "um, did you…go through it? please don't laugh."

your heart sinks when he laughs heartily, but he grabs your hand, resting it on your book, about to hand it off. but he holds you there for a second. "of course not. I respect your privacy." he ponders for a moment. "I respect you."

you can feel the sigh of relief when you let it out. "I…love you."

your holding your book now, as he moves to collect the boxes containing your pens and pencils and colors. he gets them all together, but before he picks them up to head back, he turns around to face you. "is this too much?"

you absently reach for a hand, tracing over the lines on his palms. and you think about it. am I okay? is this too much?

"I don't think so. not with you. I'm okay."

he moves to open the door and grab the rest of your things. "well then, let's not keep them waiting!"

—

edited 27 April 2021