#steve x tony oneshot

[reigningqueenofwords]

Happy Anniversary

Pairing: Steve x Tony Word count: 2,732

Read on AO3

Tony all but bounced into Steve’s studio where his boyfriend was working. “Get cleaned up, we’re going out to celebrate!” The brunette beamed. “I’m taking my guy out for a night on the town.” 

Steve chuckled, putting down the sketch pad that he was drawing in. “Oh?” He smiled, loving when Tony was in this mood. So much better than the nights where he drank himself stupid from self-loathing. Sure, they were far less lately, but Steve would always worry. “What are we celebrating?” He asked as he got up. 

“Remember that movie I auditioned for months ago?” He started, reminding Tony of a giant child who was telling a story. Steve nodded, letting him go on. “Well, you’re looking at the lead actor, baby!” He held out his arms, a proud look on his face.

Pulling him close, he kissed him lovingly. “I’m so happy for you!” He kept his arms around him. “I know how much you wanted this part.” He rested his forehead on his. “Where will you be filming?” He asked, curious. “And do you know who you’ll be working with?” 

“Details!” Tony chuckled. “We’ll talk over dinner. And then when we get back I want an update on what you’re working on for your show.” He told him. “Which, I’ve already warned them I’m not missing that for anything.” He promised his boyfriend. “You’ve worked so hard for this.” 

Steve blushed lightly, a shy smile on his face. “Thank you.”

Sipping their wine, Steve watched Tony before he went on about filming- it was taking place in London, and Paris was all he’d said so far. “I don’t know the lead actress, and I won’t until we start shooting.” Steve looked surprised when Tony told him that. “She won’t know who I am, either. They said that they want a look of surprise for that first scene, to make it more authentic. Color me intrigued.” He shrugged. 

“That’s new.” He nodded. “But, I guess that would make it very authentic.” He chuckled. 

“I do know that I’ll be working with Natasha Romanoff again, so I can’t complain there.” He mused. They’d worked together on a couple other films and gotten along fairly well. “They’re hoping for Thor Odinson, as well. Something about possible scheduling conflicts.” He explained. “I’m hoping, too. He’s easy to work with, and I haven’t seen him in a couple years.” 

Steve smiled. “I can’t wait to see it.” He chuckled, knowing it was a while before that happened. “I always love your work.” Which was true. That was how they had met. Steve had drawn Tony from one of his movies (one Tony felt was far from his best work), and Steve’s best friend managed to get it to the A list movie star. 

“You did what?!” Steve stared at Bucky. 

Bucky smirked. “I got your work to Stark.” He shrugged as if it was nothing. “I know a guy who is dating his current costar. I asked him for a favor. He passed your drawing to his girlfriend, who gave it to Stark.” He said easily. “He was impressed. Which is no surprise, punk. You got talent.” 

Steve took a deep breath. He’d had a crush on Tony since his first movie at the age of 16- nearly fifteen years prior! How was he supposed to react to Tony having his art now? He was just some nobody who liked to draw. He’d been trying to get noticed, with no luck. “So, that’s that, right? I mean, so what, he has my drawing.” He blew it off. 

“And he wants to meet you.” He told him, making Steve freeze. “Natasha asked Clint to ask me for your number.” It sounded like he was back in middle school at this point. “He’ll be in town next week, and will be giving you a call.” 

“Shit.” He breathed. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Tony asked. 

Steve grinned. “About how we met.” He said happily. “Two years ago you called me and I nearly had a panic attack!” He chuckled. “I almost dropped my phone into some paint.” He blushed. 

Tony’s eyebrows shot up. “You never told me that.” He shook his head. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t, and that you picked up. Best call of my life.” He beamed. 

“Even better than when you get the part you’ve really been wanting?” Steve teased him playfully. 

“Oh yeah.” He nodded, enjoying their date. 

Tony had left two days ago, leaving their shared him far quieter. Their dog, Cooper, kept huffing randomly. He would always mope the first week that Tony was gone filming. “Yeah, I miss him, too.” Steve sighed. His show was in a couple weeks, and he’d done next to nothing the past day. He’d relaxed, caught up on some reading, and did some housework. Even though Tony had someone come once a week, Steve kept it as clean as he could. Reaching over, he scratched behind one of Cooper’s ears. “We’ll go for a run soon.” He told him. 

Hearing his phone, he eagerly reached for it on the coffee table. He saw that Tony was FaceTiming him and grinned, quickly accepting. “Hey you!” Tony greeted him, clearly in his trailer. 

Cooper perked up at his voice, trying to crawl into Steve’s lap. Laughing, Steve moved the phone so Tony could see them both. “Hey! We miss you.” He told him. “Obviously.” He put his arm over Cooper. 

Tony chuckled. “Well, I miss you guys, too. Thought I’d call and see how  you two are managing without me.” He usually called whenever he could when he was shooting. 

“Well, the first week is always hard.” He sighed. “Gonna take this guy out for a jog later. Maybe see if Bucky wants to join us.” Steve shrugged. “Maybe grab some pizza for dinner.” Easy to eat while working into the night in his studio. 

“Just don’t stay up all night.” Tony ‘scolded’ him playfully. “Remember when I called you once and you had blue paint on your cheek because you fell asleep next to a painting? And the canvas then had your face print on it?’ 

Steve laughed, nodding. “You mean the one that you refused to let me scrap and hung up in our room?” He asked. 

“Hey, I love your cheeks.” He winked, making Steve blush. “But, there’s another reason I called.” Tony admitted, glad that he had gotten Steve into a good mood. “I found out who my leading lady is this morning.” 

“Okay? Why am I getting the vibe that it’s not someone you want to be working with?” He asked, furrowing his brows. There were very few people that Tony didn’t care to work with. Hell, Steve could think of maybe one or two? 

Tony took a deep breath. “It’s Pepper.” He told Steve. “My ex.” He added, as if Steve didn’t know who Pepper was. Pepper had been his first love. They had been together for years- nearly ten. The last two they had been engaged, even. Tony had been the one to finally call it off. He just felt they were growing in different directions. He had been in a downward spiral from years in the spotlight. She was America’s sweetheart. 

Steve felt the knots in his stomach. “Oh…” How could he reply to that? It wasn’t like he could stop Tony from working on this film. Not when he had been so excited to be the lead actor. Not when Tony had worked so hard to leave that ‘image’ of him behind. He licked his lips, the seed of insecurity planting itself. It was no secret that Pepper still loved Tony. She’d said it in enough interviews over the years since the split- just over 5. People had wondered if the pair would ever get back together, even since Steve entered the picture. 

“I wanted to tell you before those vultures wrote about it.” Tony said softly. “And ask if maybe you could fly out this weekend?” He asked, hopeful. “Come out Saturday, fly home Sunday night? Have Barnes stay at the house with Cooper.” He chuckled as the dog perked up, wagging his tail happily. “Please?” 

“Yeah, I’ll book a flight.” He agreed, nodding. “I’ll bring my sketch pad for while you’re filming. Maybe get some ideas for some new pieces.” Anything to avoid thinking of his boyfriend filming a movie that was borderline romantic with the woman he had once planned to marry. Part of him felt like an ass. They broke up years ago, and he’d been with Steve just over two years. Why should he be worried about her?! 

Tony could tell Steve wasn’t liking this idea. “If I would have known...I would have turned it down.” He said honestly, surprising Steve. “I don’t want to work with her, and I know you aren’t a fan of the idea.” The last thing he wanted was this movie to cause issues in his relationship, but he’d signed the contract already. Even then, Steve wouldn’t want him to walk away. That’s just how he was- wanting Tony to work on projects he loved. “I’ll FaceTime you as much as I can, and I’ll be home for your show, for a couple days. I’ll come home Thursday, and come back Saturday. Maybe Sunday. They’re gonna work on scenes I’m not needed for.” He just wanted to assure Steve. “I’d kidnap you and keep you in my trailer if I could.” He teased, thankful when Steve cracked a small smile at that. 

He ruffled Cooper’s fur. “Actually, maybe I could fly out with you after my show, and stay there for a bit? I can work on some sketches anywhere.” He suggested. 

“I’d like that.” Tony grinned. “I look forward to it.” He was already trying to plan dates in his head as they said their goodbyes. 

Having Tony at his art show meant the world to Steve. While some people said that Steve was only ‘famous’ because he was ‘fucking’ Tony Stark, he didn’t listen to them. He didn’t care enough to. He loved what he did. 

He wasn’t expecting Pepper to show up, as well. Tony went straight to Steve, seeing his boyfriend’s smile falter at the sight of her. “Babe…” He started. 

Steve looked at him. “Really?” He asked. “You brought her?” He shook his head, his insecurity getting the better of him. “Missed being around her, so what? You thought you’d bring her to my show?” 

Tony groaned. “No!” He shook his head, moving them away from where most people were. “She overheard me talking to Nat about your show. I was being a proud boyfriend. Talking about how I should try to get one of your pieces for a set prop.” He saw Steve blush. “She invited herself. I asked her to come at the same time because I knew as soon as you saw her, you’d be upset. And I was right.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.” He laced his fingers with Steve’s. “Can we just go mingle, do the whole art show thing you’re so damn good at, and then get home?” He asked, just wanting to support Steve.

When Steve looked at him, he felt his anger dying down. Tony was looking at him with those big brown eyes, pleading with him silently. Sighing, he cupped Tony’s cheek and kissed him softly. “But if she gets rude, I will have Bucky remove her. He’s working security tonight with Sam.” While neither of the men were usually in the security business, they both did well. Hell, half the time just a glare from them set people right. And it gave them a bit of extra money while helping their friend. 

Tony nodded. “Deal.” He agreed. He couldn’t see her becoming rude, but he wouldn’t keep her there if she did. He pecked Steve’s lips once more before leading them back into the main room. “The man of the hour returns!” He announced, making Steve blush lightly. There were some claps, making Tony beam with pride. This was for the man he loved. 

While moving around the room, Steve heard Pepper talking to another patron. Tony had went to chat with Bucky about cars or bikes, so he wasn’t there to hear her. “Of course we’ll get back together.” She laughed. “I’m here with him, aren’t I? Besides, he’s always wanted a family. I can give him that.” She said as if it was nothing. “I think this movie was what we needed to see what we still mean to each other.” 

Clenching his jaw, Steve felt angry tears sting his eyes. He took a deep breath and moved towards where Bucky was. “I need you to escort Pepper out. Now.” He told him, his voice low. 

“What? Why?” Tony asked, looking confused. “She’s just been talking to everyone else, enjoying your work.” 

“No, she’s telling people you’re getting back together, that she’s your date, and that you’ll have a family together.” Steve told him. “Whatever. Bucky, just make everyone leave. Show’s over.” He stalked off. He didn’t believe Pepper, but her words still stung. Tony never mentioned wanting a family to him, but had that been an old dream of his? And Tony basically defended her!

Bucky stared after him for a minute before standing up straight. “I need to ask everyone to leave.” His voice killed every bit of conversation that was going on. “Now.” He added firmly. His eyes went to Tony. “Why are you still standing here?” He raised an eyebrow. “Either go after him, or get the hell out with her.” He told him, gaze looking over the crowd. He spotted Sam at the door, ushering people out. 

Steve was sitting on the floor, back against the wall. His knees were up, his elbows resting on them, and his head was in his hands. This wasn’t how he had seen tonight going. “Steve?” He tensed lightly at Tony’s voice. 

“Do you want a family?” He asked softly. 

“What?” 

“Do. You. Want. A. Family? Marriage? Kids? All that?” Steve looked at him, but Tony couldn’t read his expression. 

Licking his lips, he walked over and crouched. “Do you want that?” He was curious. He could see Steve being a great dad. The perfect dad. Him? He was a screw up most of the time. 

Letting his head lean back, he shrugged a shoulder. “I’d like that, but I never even thought it was an option for us.” He admitted. “Figured Cooper was it for us. You never said anything about wanting anything more.” He’d always hoped one day that Tony would want to marry him, but at the same time, he tried not to. 

“Let me finish this movie, and then I’m taking us on the most romantic vacation.” He started. “I’ll plan some cheesy proposal, and then we’ll plan a very us wedding.” He grinned. 

“You know you just gave away any element of surprise, right?” Steve teased. “And I don’t need a showy romantic vacation, you know that. I’m happy just spending time at home, relaxing.” He reminded him. “Unless you were planning to take me to the Louvre.” He said playfully. 

“Oh, I would buy it for you if I could.” Tony took his hand and kissed his knuckles. “Now, let’s go grab something to eat with the muscle twins, and head home to Cooper.” He stood up, pulling Steve with him. 

“Daddy!” Came a voice, paired with the sound of little feet running. 

“Munchkin!” Tony beamed, scooping up the little girl. “Were you good for Daddy?” He asked, kissing her cheek. 

She nodded. “I missed you, though.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Daddy’s out back with Matty and Simon.” She informed him. 

“Then, let’s go see them, Princess Anna!” He kicked the door shut and made his way through the house, bouncing the four year old as he went. Walking out into the backyard, he saw all his friends and the rest of his family. Steve had one of their twins on his hip while the other stood next to him. They had turned two the month before, and Tony had been filming since the week after their party. 

Steve looked over and beamed. “Happy anniversary!” He called out to his husband of seven years. 

Tony never looked happier as he made his way to him. “Happy anniversary.” He beamed.

[literaryavenger]

You Were My Sunshine

Summary: Once a year you disappear for a whole day. Nobody knows where you go or what you do, but the team has learned to let you have your privacy. This year though, Bucky's curiosity gets the better of him and he follows you.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of death. Grief. Some angst. Fluff. No mentions of Y/N.

Word Count: 3K

A/N: I realize this is a little heavy and you absolutely don't need to read it. This one's mostly for me, but I thought why not post it and let Bucky comfort other people, if you need it. As always, my inbox is always open if you want to even just chat. I hope someone likes this. Also, I promise the requests are coming, a little slowly but they're coming. I'm on vacation for two weeks so I'll spend the time writing, probably.

Masterlist

“Have a good day.” Steve calls after you as you pass the kitchen.

You stop in front of the door to smile at Steve and wave at the team as they all have breakfast together before you keep making your way to the elevator that will take you to the parking garage.

“So, we’re really just accepting this?” Bucky asks the team when the elevators close behind you and he’s sure you can’t hear him.

“Yes, Buck.” Steve says firmly.

“But-” Bucky’s protests are cut off by Tony.

“She’s entitled to her privacy.” He says firmly. “Just let it go, Frosty.”

Bucky ignores the nickname and looks around the team, searching for anyone that might have his back, but nobody else seems to be too invested in your day. Bucky gets up with a huff and makes his way to the training room, resigned that he has to let you be.

You’ve always been an open person, you’re always there for everybody that needs you and you’re not afraid to talk about anything with anybody.

Your life is an open book.

Which is precisely why it drives Bucky crazy that, once a year, you disappear for an entire day and nobody knows where you go or what you do.

You disable all your communication devices, the tracking in your car and you don’t use credit cards anywhere. 

It’s like you cease to exist for a day, leaving no trace that you were anywhere.

At least that’s how the team sees it. 

They’ve all tried to figure out where you go, but that’s the only subject that you never talk about and, every time anyone asks you about it, your answer is always the same:

Don’t worry about it.

After so many years, the whole team has decided to listen to you and stopped worrying about it. 

Everyone except Bucky.

It’s not like you’re that close with him, but he considers you his friend and he trusts you, so it irks him that you have this huge secret that nobody knows anything about.

Needless to say, he worries about it a lot.

That’s why right now he finds himself tip toeing down to the garage. He sees you get into your car and drive away and, without even thinking about it, he jumps on his bike and follows you.

He knows this is wrong, he knows he shouldn’t follow you, that you’re allowed to have your secrets. But he can’t help himself when it comes to you. You make him lose control, you make him go insane. 

He just needs you. to know.

So he follows you, as discreetly as only a trained assassin knows how. He follows you into the city and stops a few cars away when you park in front of a secondhand bookstore. Bucky knows that shop all too well, it’s one of his favorite places to visit when he’s in the city.

He waits until you disappear behind a shelf before going in, watching you as you browse the books. It looks to Bucky like you’re looking for a particular book, when you find it, he can see your face lighting up.

You turn the book to look at the back cover and Bucky can read the title very clearly. ‘Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince’, one of your favorite books. Bucky knows that because he’s talked about it with you for hours, along with all the other books of the series and the Lord of the Rings books, Bucky’s favorites.

You chat amicably with the older guy that owns the shop while you pay for your book and then leave, getting back into your car with Bucky still on your tail.

Next you go to a small bakery and buy a coffee and a cupcake. Thankfully for Bucky you’re too distracted by talking with the nice, old lady that owns the place to notice him buying his own coffee.

He follows you again as you cross the street to the park in front of the bakery and walk until you find a secluded spot. You sit down against a tree and continue peacefully reading your book under the summer sun while sipping your iced coffee.

Bucky sits on a bench nearby where he has a visual on you, but you can’t really see him unless you were really looking for him. But you’re so engrossed in reading that Bucky’s sure he could sit next to you and you wouldn’t even realize it.

He knows you get like that when you’re reading something that captures your attention, and the Harry Potter books always do, no matter how many times you’ve read them already.

Bucky always thought you looked so cute while reading. You make no attempt to hide your reactions and it amuses him. So he spends the next few hours just watching you read, watching your beautiful face shining in the sunlight as you frown and snort and laugh and pout as your eyes dart around the pages.

It’s actually relaxing, he thinks to himself. Is this what you do every year? Take a whole day just to read without the chaos of the Compound and nobody to bother you?

But why would you be so secretive about this? Reading for hours with a cup of coffee is something you’d done countless times in your room, on the roof, in the backyard of the Compound or even in the common room, never really bothered by the noise the team makes when you’re so into the words you’re reading.

So why do it in secret?

After a few hours, around lunch time, you finally come out of the book’s trance and gather your things before getting up.

Bucky frowns when you don’t get back into your car and follows you as you walk to a small family owned Italian restaurant that Bucky’s never been to but always wanted to try. He discreetly follows you in and takes a table in the back where you can’t see him.

He watches you interact with the owner, the waiter and even the cook comes out to talk to you. It’s clear that they all know you and it seems to Bucky like you’re pretty close to them even though he’s never even heard you mention this place before. When you’re done eating, Bucky sees you playfully fight with the owner that doesn’t want to let you pay so you leave a generous tip that amounts to more than your check is and the owner chuckles to himself when you wink as you walk out.

After lunch, which Bucky has to admit was pretty good, he follows you to a flower shop a couple of doors down and he’s surprised to see the owner greeting you like old friends. It looks like she was already anticipating your arrival, a bouquet of blue roses already on the counter and ready to go when you arrive. You chat with the older woman for a few minutes before paying and leaving the flower shop to go to your car.

It’s clear to Bucky by now that you obviously have a routine on your secret day, and everyone you see on this day knows it.

So why don’t the Avengers? 

You looked so comfortable with all the people you’ve met today, Bucky can’t help but think that maybe you don’t feel like you belong on the team.

You drive until you arrive at your destination and Bucky is both surprised and confused when you park in the parking lot of a cemetery, get out of your car and enter it.

He subtly follows you in, watching you walk past a few graves and it looks to him like you know your way around by how effortlessly you walk without needing to check the names, stopping at one almost at the end of the row you were in while Bucky keeps his distance, always making sure to stay out of sight.

He sees you take a deep breath before kneeling in front of the grave and putting down the bouquet of flowers in front of it.

“Hi, mom…” You wipe the dirt off the tombstone and tidy the flowers in front of it with what Bucky’s sure it’s a forced smile. “Happy birthday.”

You take out the cupcake you bought that Bucky now realizes you hadn’t eaten yet and he sees you put a small red birthday candle on it and light it, then you just look at it for a few seconds before you sigh and blow it out.

“So…” You say quietly, looking back at the tombstone and Bucky can see a tear falling down your cheek.

A piece of Bucky's heart breaks seeing you so vulnerable and hurting like this, but he stays put no matter how much he wants to be at your side right now.

Bucky stands there in complete silence, hearing everything you say, hanging on to every word. He hears you talk about everything that happened in the past year, he listens to you talk about missions and parties and holidays. He hears you talk about the whole team and his heart flutters a little when you mention his name too.

You talk for a while and, after he assumes you run out of new things to say, he sees you taking out the book you just bought today.

“So, this year we finally got to the half-blood prince.” You say with a small smile. “It’s our favorite, hadn’t read it in a while.”

Bucky sees you open it and go to the page you left the bookmark in.

“It took me longer than I thought to find your favorite quote, I have to admit.” You say with a small chuckle. “It’s like 400 pages in, don’t judge me.” 

Bucky chuckles quietly at your playfulness, even in this situation. He can’t help but find you adorable.

“It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.” You read the quote before closing the book and looking back at the grave. “That’s what you told me when I was scared of the dark…” You say quietly with a smile.

“And that’s what you told me before you…” You trail off, not being able to finish your sentence as tears start streaming down your cheeks but Bucky has a pretty good idea where you were going.

That's what she told you before she died, so you wouldn't be scared.

He’s more than surprised that he didn’t know your mother died, and he’s pretty sure the rest of the team doesn’t know either.

Admittedly, families are a very touchy subject for the Avengers.

But Bucky’s even more surprised to see you breaking down, something you’ve never done before. You’re cheery, you’re bubbly, you’re everyone’s little ray of sunshine.

And it breaks Bucky’s heart to know you’ve been falling apart when you’re by yourself all these years.

“I’m sorry I only come here once a year, I just…” You start, so quietly that Bucky’s glad he has enhanced hearing otherwise he's sure he wouldn't be able to hear you. “I miss you so much and I can’t… I can’t bear this.”

He sees you running your fingers gently over the tombstone as you take a deep, shaky breath, but you can’t stop crying.

“I’m trying to be the person you loved…” You say after a moment of silence. “Your little ray of sunshine.” You chuckle softly through the tears.

It makes sense to Bucky now why you always try to be there for everyone else. It’s how you’ve always been, apparently. Always making sure no one feels alone because deep down you feel the most alone, and you don’t want anyone else to feel that way.

You are my sunshine

Bucky’s thoughts get interrupted when he hears you quietly starting to sing. 

My only sunshine

Bucky knows this song. It’s a lullaby that he’s heard you sing once before.

Clint’s family visited him at the Compound and you offered to watch his kids so he and his wife could have a date night.

You probably didn’t realize he heard you, you probably thought you were alone and it’s not like he was spying on you. He just happened to pass by when you were in Clint’s room, trying to get the three kids to sleep by singing to them.

You make me happy, when skies are gray 

You take a breath before continuing but your voice wavers a little. 

You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you

Bucky can see you’re having trouble getting the words out, your voice almost breaking.

Please don’t take… My sunshine… Away

Before you can even get the last word out, you break down completely, burying your face in your hands while sobbing.

Bucky feels his heart break as he takes in your pain. He wishes there was some clear and simple solution to making this all better for you, but there's always been so much he doesn't understand about complex emotions like these. 

Right now, as he's watching how broken you are, though, he knows that he doesn't even care about understanding. He just wants to comfort you, to try and make it better...

Bucky comes to rest beside you, he kneels down to your level and places his hand gently on your shoulder. “Hey…” He says quietly.

His presence startles you and you go into defense mode, taking his hand on your shoulder and bending it, then using your grip on his arm to push him face down on the ground.

Bucky didn’t expect you to react so quickly and aggressively which makes it easier for you to catch him off-guard and pin him down.

“Goddammit, Bucky!” You say after you finally recognize him and let him go, getting up and scrambling back to put some distance between you and him while breathing heavily.

For a moment, Bucky is a little stunned. It's rare that anyone is able to get the jump on him like that. But then he snaps back to reality. He lets you make your distance while getting back to his feet and stands a few feet away from you.

“Did you fucking follow me?!” Your sadness is quickly forgotten and replaced with anger.

“I…” Bucky doesn’t know what to say. He knows he’s in the wrong here and he has no defense for himself when he knowingly violated your privacy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“You didn’t what?!” You snap at him. “You didn’t understand what the meaning of privacy is?!”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say, he’s never seen you this angry at anyone that’s not an enemy and surely never at him.

“I’m sorry, okay?” He says quickly. “I’m sorry, I was just curious, I didn’t think this would be it, I thought…”

“You thought what?” You say when he trails off, clearly pissed as you cross your arms in front of your chest.

“I thought maybe you were a supervillain…” He jokes weakly, trying to make you laugh. “Or a stripper.”

His last word gets a surprised laugh out of you as you, fortunately, understand he’s just joking before you actually punch him in the face.

Bucky lets out a sigh of relief as he sees you laugh and then takes a tentative step towards you.

“I really am sorry…” He says quietly, reaching out to put his hand on your shoulder. “I know it was wrong of me to follow you, and I didn’t plan on bothering you at all, which doesn’t make what I did better,” He quickly adds when he sees you’re about to say something.

“But when I saw you crying, I just… I couldn’t help myself.” He trails his hand down your arm to your hand and takes it in his. “You’re always there for everybody, I don’t think it’s fair that you don’t let anybody be there for you.”

You look at him for a long moment, processing his words. Of course you know he’s right, you don’t let anybody be there for you, but you also never really believed anyone cared enough to.

But looking at Bucky right now, it feels like he really does want to be there for you...

So you let him.

You look back down at the grave, your hand still in his as you intertwine your fingers together.

“She died when I was 14.” You say quietly. “I only had her, so I was on my own after that…”

Bucky listens quietly, his eyes on your face as he sees the tears starting to gather in your eyeline again.

“A few years later, Natasha and Clint found me during a mission. They saw me knock out a dude that cornered me in an alley and they were impressed…” You have a faint smile at the memory although it’s clear you’re about to cry again. “They offered me a place in the SHIELD Academy and, after that, I don’t know… I wasn’t alone anymore.”

You look back at Bucky to find him looking at you intently, his gaze intent and unwavering. 

“Doll…” He says quietly while cupping your face with his free hand as he sees you holding back tears. “It’s okay to be vulnerable in front of the people you care about. You taught me that.”

His gentle words, the way he softly strokes your cheek and the way he’s looking at you so lovingly, it’s all too much for you and can’t hold back your tears anymore.

With a broken sob, you bury your face in Bucky’s chest and hug him tightly, clinging to him while he wraps his arms around you and hugs you just as tight, kissing the top of your head before nuzzling his face against your hair.

In this moment, while holding you in his arms, Bucky realizes it’s not like you don’t feel like you belong with the Avengers.

This is just something you feel like you have to go through on your own because you’ve always had to.

And he’ll be damned if he lets you go through it alone ever again.

Drabble

[mellowmadds]

Casual Study Dates | Peter Parker

(MCU) Peter Parker/Fem Stark Reader

Warnings - slightly suggestive

Summary - Avenger’s compound a usually busy place hustling with activity seems unusually quiet for the day. leaving y/n and Peter in a sticky situation (pun intended)

Word Count: 1,237

°°••....••°°

Avenger’s Compound, a place that’s usually bustling with activities and combat training sometime’s has quiet days like this where super-powered humans who have insanely intense hearing can hear a pin drop from across campus. For you though being one of the youngest on the team you hated those days because it seemed as if everybody always wanted to see what you were up to. You weren’t necessarily an avenger but you were extremely smart and helped out around the lab and worked on some Stark Industries projects with your dad every once and a while. And that’s how you met Peter Parker and during those first two years of awkward conversations and study dates you two seemed to find some comfort in all that awkwardness.

“Are you nervous about MIT sending out their decisions soon?” Peter asked while getting comfortable on your bed while staring out at the beautiful city view.

“Why would I be nervous Peter? Most of my family are MIT Alumni.” You said a bit cocky if you really think about it.

“I- know it’s just I figured maybe you’d be experiencing the same nerves I was. It was a stupid question nevermind sorry” Peter stuttered out.

“You don’t have to be sorry Peter and you definitely don’t have to worry my dad put in a good word about you. You’re one hundred percent getting into MIT” You told him confidently.

You knew Peter was an anxious person and you’d do anything to take his nerves away.

“Now are we going to keep stressing about MIT or are we going to figure out these formulas that Bruce gave us to solve?” You asked while holding up the stack of papers labeled ‘Top Secret Formulas’.

Peter nodded his head yes while lifting his body off your bed to instead sit on the edge of the bed closer to your desk where all of your work was scattered across your laptop.

“But first I need to put some music on or else I won’t be able to focus” You said before sliding the miscellaneous papers off your laptop.

“That’s the Stark in you talking, how can you focus better with music blasting in your ears?” Peter asked while laughing.

“I guess you are right, that is a classic trait of my dads. But it just helps me focus better. I don't know, I can't explain it.” You turned on your playlist before flipping to the first page of the stack of formulas Bruce assigned you to solve.

Your speaker was loud but who cares it’s not like anyone cared or was listening everyone was off doing their own things. The first few songs were upbeat and fun but the farther you got into your playlist the more guilty pleasure songs started playing, but Peter didn’t mind he was blocking out the music anyways so he could focus better on the formulas in front of him. What you didn’t know was that Steve and Nat were standing outside your room listening.

“Knee deep where? doing what?” Steve said worriedly looking over at Nat.

“It’s just a song Steve stop being so old-school” Nat smirked back at him.

“But Peter’s in there with her, what if they aren’t actually studying?” Steve asked as any worried uncle would.

“The song is talking about having relations in the bathroom during dinner time, that’s not appropriate Nat” Steve said firmly not accepting any excuse now.

Nat wasn’t interested in continuing this conversation any further and started walking toward the living quarters where there sat Bucky, Clint, Bruce and of course Tony.

“What’s got you so tense Cap? Your boyfriends right here if you have to relieve some tension” Tony laughed making fun of Steve and Bucky’s unusual bromance.

“I think you should worry more about what your daughter and Peter are doing upstairs” Steve said, crossing his arms.

“What? What are you talking about Cap? His vigilant ass better not be corrupting my innocent perfect daughter” Tony angrily stated as his face turned a shade of red nobody expected.

“They are listening to a song about having relations in the car and bathroom” Steve said pointing upstairs to your room.

“And you didn’t shut it down the moment you heard that? What kind of uncle are you?” Tony asked running up the stairs to take a listen for himself.

“Oh my gosh the lyrics are filthy but it sounds so calming, how does an artist achieve that?” Tony muttered under his breath before harshly knocking on your bedroom door and bursting in unannounced.

“What’s going on here?” Tony yelled loudly only to be met with a view of you sitting at your desk and Peter sitting on your bed leaning against the headboard with a textbook and stack of papers sitting on his lap.

“What dad? We are busy figuring out the formulas Bruce gave us. Why the hell is everyone crowding outside my room?” You asked, pointing towards Steve, Bucky, Nat, Clint and Bruce all huddling in a circle outside your bedroom door.

“Well we heard the song you guys were listening to and were a bit concerned. You guys aren’t acting on those lyrics are you? You guys better not be under my roof” Tony questioned with a look of disgust on his face.

“What the hell are you going on about dad?” You asked looking over at Peter who looked like he'd seen a ghost.

“Are you guys having sexual relations?” Tony asked in disgust as your playlist suddenly skipped to the next song which would make your case even worse.

“Head so good, she's an honor roll she’ll ride your what like a carnival?” Tony repeated the lyrics.

“I am on the honor roll though, so it’s not entirely a lie” You replied back smirking like a smartass.

“This is not a laughing matter young lady, we are talking about something serious here, answer my question right now” Tony stated with a straight face not joking around anymore.

“Yeah we are and what about it?” You said, shrugging your shoulders.

“Y/n not in front of everybody” Peter said shyly.

“Who cares Peter they were going to find out sooner or later anyways, might as well just tell them now” You said looking back at everyone’s shocked faces. As you looked past your father behind him stood Bucky handing Clint a ten dollar bill.

“You guys had a bet going on about us?” Peter asked, looking back and forth between them but also keeping one eye on Tony just in case he might try to kill him.

“This conversation is not over and from now on this door stays open” Tony said sternly ignoring all the giggles and snarky remarks coming from his fellow avengers. Your playlist then starts playing a different song which lightens up the mood just a little.

“This one has a dance to go along with it, watch H-O-T-T-O-G-O it’s like the YMCA'' You said while doing the dance.

“I like doing the YMCA” Steve said, smiling now entering your room.

“Of course you do because you're ancient” Peter said jokingly.

As you can expect you didn’t think you’d be ending your day teaching Steve Rogers the Hot To Go dance however you wouldn’t trade the quiet days at the compound for anything because at the end of the day you’re just one big family and you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

[manestjerne]

I'll do that again for you

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Summary: Bucky pushes you away again and you let him this time.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: angst, swearing, comfort, a little fluff, doubts, angry behavior, mentions of physical abuse and injuries, crying. Let me know if I forgot something.

A/N: I'm not sure about this one, but it's been on my mind for so long I had to finally sit down and write it all down. Hope you enjoy it guys <3

I walked into Bucky’s apartment and tossed my keys on the dining table before opening the fridge and getting myself a bottle of water. I looked around slowly and walked to the pile of bedsheets on the floor. I picked them up before sitting down on the couch. The quiet sound of shower in the other room seemed to wash all my worries away, but I knew they will come back the moment I see him. His deep blue, tired eyes full of regret and and guilt, his usually steady hands shaking whenever we were alone. All the things no one else besides me was allowed to see. Things that only I could perceive in a conference room full of people. Things I couldn’t do anything about. He was more devastated than ever, when Steve started talking about leaving him. Leaving us, but Bucky couldn’t wrap his head around that, believing I have already found my peace in other people. As compassionate as he was, he never saw how lonely I was since I was trying to get him his life back. But I never blamed him. 

The peaceful sound of water flowing got quiet unexpectedly, making me snap back to reality. I heard quiet footsteps getting closer and my heart started pounding in my chest. 

„Hey sweets, you’re here early.” 

He said calmly, sitting on the couch next to me. I only replied with a smile, realizing he looks worse than usually. He wasn’t surprised I was here, I always were on friday mornings. We talked about his last therapy session before going to the compound together, it was our routine. The thing that kept us both on tracks, helping to get a steady rhythm in our messed up lives, something to stick with for once. But today my thoughts were focused on something else, I didn’t care about the therapy, knowing he might finally found something better to help him get his life together. 

„How was your date yesterday?”

„It was awful and I don’t want to talk about it.” 

His reply was dry and harsh. He didn’t do that often while talking to me. He had a soft spot there, always treating me gently and respectful, but I knew this moment would come, sooner or later. I knew the perfect bubble of our strange relationship would finally burst, because he couldn’t handle it. I knew it would change for him, but never for me, I felt the same way since I met him, when he squeezed my throat so hard that I passed out and had to look at the bruises covering my body for the next two weeks, whenever I passed a mirror. But even as the Winter Soldier, his eyes were the same, that’s why I chose to help Steve get him back. That’s why I had the worst possible fight with Tony, when he told me I can’t just pick up assassins from the streets and adopt them like stray cats. He never said that about Wanda, he never called Nat an assassin, but he never hesitated when it came to Bucky. Thinking about that sent shivers down my spine, remembering how much I had to give up to bring things back to normal, to help them understand, that the Winter Soldier is not the person standing in front of them.

„So I chose a wrong person again?” 

I asked with a weak smile. It wasn’t the first date he didn’t enjoy, but he never blamed me for that.

„You chose the wrong thing for me, I don’t get why do you want me to find a fucking love of my life by setting me up on hookups I don’t want to attend.”

His voice started to sound unsettling, I shifted in my seat and straightened my back, looking at him carefully. He tried to do that earlier, to push me away by scaring me, but I never let him. I knew he would never hurt me, too focused on protecting me at all costs, like his life depended on it.

„Don’t be such a dick and stop blaming me for your poor love life, I’m just trying to help you get back to reality.”

I was surprised by my own words, I never spoke to him that way, no matter how he treated me. I felt a wave of frustration flushing through my veins, making me feel like my blood is boiling. I looked at his hands, his metal fingers clenching in a fist, the flesh hand rubbing on the soft fabric of his jeans, but I knew how much they were trembling at this moment and how much he was fighting himself not to break the character he was trying to play. 

„I never asked for it.”

His jaw clenched and I felt a sting in my chest at his words. No matter how grateful he was for me being there, he would never admit it, he would never say how much he needed and appreciated all I ever did for him. 

„Do you want me to leave?” 

I decided to make it easier for him, knowing he would struggle with saying it out loud. He never wanted me to leave his side, but he thought it was the right thing, and I couldn’t fight it anymore.

„I don’t want you to play a babysitter anymore, seeing one shrink at a time is enough.” 

He huffed and rolled his eyes, almost making me believe his words and for the first time I felt some kind of doubt. My safe place by his side was slowly fading away as he kept looking at me with something what felt like blame in his eyes. I shrinked into my seat trying to find any words, but every time I opened my mouth the room was filled with nothing but silence. 

„Do you want me to leave?” 

I repeated myself quietly, not able to find any other words suitable for what I was feeling at the moment.

„Are you even fucking listening?”

He wasn’t angry, but frustrated. I didn’t flinch at his voice, but I could feel the tears filling up my eyes slowly. I got up and picked my keys up from the table. After a few short breaths I found the courage to face him again.

„That’s what I do all the time, James. I listen. I wish you could do that for once.”

With my last word I turned away and walked to the door. He never tried to stop me, he didn’t say anything before I left. I held my tears back for as long as I could, letting go at the moment I sat in my car. I doubted all I did for him at the moment, knowing that one of us wasn’t ready for what we were doing, but I couldn’t realize who was the problem.

-----

„It’s been a week since you stopped attending the meetings. If Tony was mad earlier, you don’t want to know what Steve said today.”

Nat entered my room without knocking as always. She brought me a piece of Wanda’s cake, but I pushed the plate away, still refusing to eat whenever I wasn’t starving.

„I really just don’t want to see him, I’m not ready for that.”

She sat on the bed next to me, looking at me closely and sinking every word I said. It was the first time I said anything about what happened that day and she was willing to listen carefully to every word I say, analyzing every sigh and deep breath between them. I felt bad about treating her this way, she deserved to know everything, but I was scared of what I was going to say, I tried not to think about it, knowing my pain is now fully replaced with anger and frustration.

„I did everything I could, all this months I tried to help him and he acts like a fucking brat, trying to push me away. I’m so done with him, I’m not going back and begging him to let me do that all again. If he’s so devoted to Steve let’s just stick with that and let him live his pathetic little life without my interruptions.” 

I said it all in one breath trying not to sound paranoid, but Nat only nodded slowly and laid on her back, staring at the perfectly white ceiling. 

„I respect your every decision, but he’s only doing that to help you, and you know that. It’s you, who convinced me he means no harm and just can’t deal with his own mind, that’s why he’s trying to push you away. But it’s okay you’re tired with that, you don’t deserve it.”

I rolled on my stomach laying next to her and picked up the plate she put on the bed earlier. I stared at all the layers of my favorite toppings and saw how uneven it was looking, realizing Natasha helped Wanda with cooking this time. I smiled to myself remembering how much she hates doing that. 

"Just wait for him to come back, he'll do it eventually."

„Thanks Nat, I’m glad you’re here.” 

I said before dipping my fork in the cake.

---

Everyone got quiet when I entered the shared kitchen, it was the first time I was in the same room with Bucky since I left his apartment in tears. But I didn’t mind his presence, I knew he’s not going to bring it up when there were so many people around and I wasn’t planning on giving him a chance to speak to me in private. I walked up to the counter and poured myself a glass of water before heading to the coffee machine. I waited for my drink to brew when I turned away and rested my elbows on the counter behind me, almost tasting the tensed atmosphere I brought into the room. 

„Are you planning on attending any meetings this week or should I just send you a fax with our arrangements?” 

Tony asked calmly. He was mad at me, but acting as a human as possible he wasn’t planning on letting me know.

„Yeah, I’ll be there today.”

I shrugged my shoulders when Steve rolled his eyes, but I wasn’t looking at him. Bucky’s eyes were glued to the countertop in front of him, filled with guilt. He looked pathetic and I blamed myself for enjoying the view. After hearing a quiet beep my eyes left him to pick up the coffee.

„See you at 6.”

I said and started walking away lazily with mug in one hand and a glass of water in another. I was slowly getting used to this, feeling more comfortable leaving my room, not caring about the stares.

„You two should just fuck and let us get back to normal.”

I froze at Tony’s words and turned back to face him unconsciously.

„Come on, we can all see how you’re looking at each other, let’s finally get over this awkward phase.”

„Shut up.” 

Bucky replied him firmly at his next words, but Tony just shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating his cereal. I tightened my grip on the glass in my hand and looked him in the eyes, shaking my head slowly. Little did he know, we did that once, a few weeks back and it never helped, it never changed our relationship. I couldn’t find proper words to respond so I just walked away and stopped after passing the first corner, when no one could see me. I let my head fall back and took a few deep breaths, feeling the almost healed wound open up again. I started walking away when I heard footsteps approaching me, but he was faster and caught up with me after only a few seconds. He blocked my way with his body, towering over me before I could reach the elevator and hide in my room. 

„He shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry.” 

Bucky was trying to look me in the eyes but I successfully avoided it.

„Don’t act like you regret anything.”

I huffed and tried to pass him, but it was impossible. He raised his hand to tuck the strand of hair behind my ear but I flinched at his movement. He was visibly hurt by that, but not surprised, taking a step back his gaze never left me. 

„Can we just talk like adult people do?”

„You’re not so good at that.”

I replied coldly, matching his earlier energy, trying to push him away as he did so many times.

„I am, you taught me that.”

„No, that’s a job for a shrink, so I’m not doing that again.”

„I know how you fee-„

„No, you fucking don’t!”

I replied throwing a glass at him, my words louder than necessary. He didn’t flinch, knowing I wasn’t actually aiming at him. The glass flew next to his face and shattered at the wall behind him. 

„Fuck.” 

I mumbled and dropped on my knees to pick up the glass from the floor. He kneeled besides me and pulled me away gently, grabbing the shattered pieces with his metal hand. 

„You’ll hurt yourself.”

He said gently and I almost fell in his arms after these words, knowing how much I miss him and how much I want to be allowed to do that again. 

„Like you care.”

I huffed in response and entered the elevator leaving him alone, kneeling in the puddle wetting his jeans, letting my frustration take over.

-----

I heard a soft knocking on my door. I raised myself on my elbows before realizing Nat and Wanda never knock, no matter what time they decide to come see me, so I rolled over with my back facing the door now. I didn’t want to talk to anybody else at the moment.

„I know you’re not sleeping, I can hear your uneven breath.”

I heard the words clearly, even tho his whisper was muffled by the door separating us. I didn’t respond, knowing he’ll come in eventually. I heard a resigned sigh before the door opened. His quiet footsteps echoing in my head when he circled the room and kneeled besides my bed to face me. 

„I’m sorry for being such a dick.”

He said confidently waiting for my answer, but also knowing I’m not going to speak. He gave me a few seconds to make sure I don’t have anything to say before he spoke up again.

„I know how you feel, I can see how much you have to give up in order to help me. I know how alone you are, even with so many people supporting you. I know you did it all to make me feel better and I appreciate it more than anything, I need your help just as much as you think and more.”

I was a little confused at his words, actually admitting all the things he couldn’t say earlier.

„Then why are you like that?”

I felt the tears filling up my eyes again, but I didn’t care, letting them fall on my cheeks as our murmurs were filling up the quiet room. 

„Because I can’t stand watching you do this. You don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve you, but I can’t function without you. I need you back and I’ll do everything for you to forgive me again.”

His hand slowly landed on my cheek, wiping the tears away as he looked me in the eyes.

„See, that’s the problem. Again. How many times will you push me away before finally opening up and letting me really help you?”

My voice wasn’t shaking as much, feeling his touch calmed me down as always, no matter how I wanted to resist the feeling.

„I won’t do that ever again, I won’t hurt you. I just need you back, as clingy as always, being a pain in my ass every Friday morning, asking about my therapy. Making me watch all the stupid romantic movies, cuddling on the couch when I’m trying to move away. Dragging me back to bed when I lay on the floor and making me talk about my nightmares before we fall asleep again.”

"Who would think that Bucky Barnes could ever kneel before a woman."

"And I'll do it again for you."

I couldn’t help but giggled at his words, knowing how much I miss that feeling too, no matter he was trying to act like he hates it, he loved it more than I did. He smiled softly at my reaction, and I knew it was sincere. He slowly stood up and took the covers off me. Picking me up gently he moved me to make space for himself and laid next to me, resting my head on his chest before pulling the covers over us once more.

„Just come back for the last time and I promise I won’t act like a brat and start treating you as you deserve. I would do anything for you and I can’t run from it anymore. I’m ready to give you everything I can and finally take care of you, like you did this whole time.”

He brushed his fingers through my hair and I nodded slowly, knowing he finally understood that pushing me away is not an option. I took a deep breath smelling his cologne and my eyelids got heavy as my body started to relax. I closed my eyes sinking in the feeling of our bodies being so close again, our legs tangled under the duvet, his heart beating right where my head was resting. 

„Just close your eyes now, and we’ll start everything again tomorrow, okay?”

He asked quietly, his flesh hand not leaving my hair and the metal one still drawing circles on my back.

„Okay.”

I said before falling asleep, knowing I won’t wake up in the middle of the night as I did every single time for the past week. 

[steve-language-rogers]

Should Have Known Better

A pool day with the Avengers causes Steve to figure out your secret. Hurt/comfort. Steve Rogers x f!reader. Steve being so sweet and protective and perfect. Set sometime when all the Avengers (including Bucky) are happy and living in the tower together. Reader is also an Avenger. Oneshot. 3.6k.

Tw: Reader is being abused by an unspecified male someone close to her. Dissociation. Bruises. Anxiety. Please take care of yourself if this content may trigger you.

A/N: This is my first fic and has been in my notes a LONG time. Wrote it for myself when I was going through something tough and figured there might be others who could use a lil fictional man comfort.

18+ only. Minors DNI. I do not consent to my work being translated, reposted, put on other platforms, or stolen.

GIF by @buckyscombatboots

You should have known better.

Some snide remark you make with a mischievous look at Tony about being a little rusty after his bad dive into the water would come back to bite you in the ass. He's the king of snide remarks, and no insults, no matter how playful, go unpunished. Most of the time, you took his teasing as a sign that he liked you. Today, the consequences of his taunting were much more than you bargained for.

August in Manhattan was scorching, so the team was lounging at the Tower's rooftop pool for a rare day of relaxation. You used to love swimming, but you chose to stay dry in your coverup for a reason–a good reason.

However, Tony could never have known this. A few drinks later and, "You know what makes iron rust faster, Y/N, water!" The next thing you knew you were pushed from the edge of the pool straight into the water.

Gasps of disbelief and giggles filled the air from the team, alongside a lightly chastising, "Tony!" from Steve. When you got your head back to the surface, you shrieked at him with indignation, a smiling tugging on your lips as you pulled yourself back onto the edge. Thankfully, it had all happened too fast and the water made too much of a splash for them to have seen your skin when you went under.

"You'll pay for that when you're least expecting it, Stark," you warned, stamping your soaked feet inside.

"Y/N, where are you going?" asked Natasha., smiling You paused in the doorway.

"To dry off..." you say with a laugh, said as if it was obvious.

"Why don't you just take your coverup off and dry off in your bathing suit out here?" Bucky offered.

"Uhh...I don't want to get sunburned," you explained lamely.

"Sugar, there's an umbrella five feet away from you," said Sam.

"C'mon, no one's gonna judge you if your six pack isn't a defined as Thor's." Tony joked. Thor wiggled his eyebrows at Bruce, who shook his head in exasperation.

"Guys, just let her go," Steve defended.

Your response rushes out of your mouth and you shift your weight from foot to foot, "I'd really rather just dry this off inside quickly. I'll be right back." You turn and continue into the room, and turn to close the door after you, only to be stopped by Steve.

"Right behind you!" he called out, "I just have to grab something quickly," he smiled.

You held the door open for him and gazed up at his sweet expression, hoping he couldn't see how your eyes sparkle for him. "You didn't have run, Steve. I would've waited for you."

"Well," he tilts his head shyly, "I know, but I didn't want to hold you up," he says. "I know you didn't want to get wet today and I'm sure you're uncomfortable." Ugh, why did he always have to be so conscientious?

"Plus," he whispers, leaning close to your ear, "you're dripping all over Tony's expensive hardwood." He meets your eyes with a teasing gaze and nudges your elbow before heading down the hall.

You walk as quickly as you can to the closest bathroom, trying your best not to drip all over the place. Since you're wearing a bathing suit under your coverup, you don't bother to close the door as you strip off the garment and start drying it with a hair dryer.

You should have known better.

The loud whir of the dryer prevents you from hearing Steve's footsteps as he returns. "Y/N?" he calls. You don't notice him approaching until he right on the other side of the doorway. "You can wear this if you wan–what the fuck?"

Shit! You slam the bathroom door shut but it's too late. You know he's already seen the purple and yellow bruises covering most of your ribcage and abdomen.

In typical protective Cap fashion, the door instantly yanks back open as he storms in. Does Steve respect his teammates privacy more than any of the other Avengers? Yes. But his concern for their safety always takes precedence over privacy.

His eyes are wide, his brows are furrowed, and his mouth is hanging open. His whole body is tensed and you can see that Cap quickly replaced easygoing Steve the moment he caught sight of you.

"What the fuck happened to you, Y/N? Why are you covered in bruises like you've been beaten to shit?!" You squeeze your eyes shut and turn your face away from him. He's sounds mad. In a different situation, you'd have the wherewithal to know that he's just scared for you.

After recognizing your fear, he takes a deep breath to calm himself and softens his voice. His eyes are trained on you, desperately searching for a hint as to what's going on. Stepping closer to you and placing his hand gently on your arm, he asks again, "Y/N, what happened to cause all of these bruises?" His anger has dissipated from his words, but the question hold just as much authority as anytime Cap speaks.

"Steve, please" you whimper, trying to back away from the intensity of his gaze. "Please don't worry about it, it's nothing," you beg. You're staring at the marble counter, the tiled wall, even the damn wet coverup that started all of this as you attempt to avoid his gaze.

It's completely futile, as always when Steve is concerned about you and won't relent. "Y/N," he holds your jaw lightly, forcing you to face him, "I need you to tell me how you got those bruises."

The statement is final. You know he knows that they're not from a mission (he reads every report to make sure no one has gotten injured) and that he's not going to believe they're from some clumsy accident (he's had too many bruises himself and can tell what kind of marks a targeted attack leaves).

You can't tell him the truth. You close your eyes again to avoid his gaze, "It's fine Steve, they're almost healed," you say to try to deflect the question. He still doesn't let up.

"Y/N, did someone do this to you?" he asks, already half-sure of the answer. Your silence confirms his suspicions. He lowers his voice as soft as it can go, knowing what the next question will do to you. "Did someone close to you do this to you?" he asks.

Your eyes pop open involuntarily. You feel trapped and screwed because he knows–how did he know?

The instant he sees terror in your gaze, his heart breaks for you. How could he not have known? You're frozen in shock, reactionless. He moves his hand to the back of your head, caressing your hair and bringing your face into his chest. His other arm wraps around your back, soothingly rubbing circles on it as he hugs you into him. "Oh, Y/N..." is all he can say for a moment, his voice wavering with the pain he feels for you and the guilt he feels for not seeing the signs sooner.

Tears stream down your cheeks but your face is frozen still in worry. You couldn't break down sobbing now to save your life if you needed to. It felt like your emotions just shut off completely. All you could do was hyperfocus on what you needed to do to keep yourself safe in that moment. Which was ridiculous, considering you were with Steve who had never, ever hurt you before. For some reason, danger still felt imminent.

Steve pulled back, cradling your face in his hands, brows furrowed with worry and eyes the slightest bit glossy. "You're safe now sweetheart. We're gonna keep you safe. I'm gonna keep you safe."

You nod because your brain tells you it's the right response. You're not sure if you're actually hearing anything he's saying. You register the feeling of his thumb, swiping across your cheek. He must see the glazed over look on your face. You think he calls your name a couple times and the next few minutes are blurry. You're breathing, breathing deeply and slowly with him. He's guiding you back to yourself.

You blink a couple of times as your awareness sharpens back into focus. "With me again sweetheart?" Steve asks, thumb still caressing your cheek. It's bad, he knows that. You need to see a professional right away, but he needs you conscious and present in your body first. "Y/N, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I'm never going to let it happen again. But right now, we really need to get you to a doctor."

You're shaking your head violently halfway through his sentence. "No, no I don't need a doctor," you say instinctively.

"Sweetheart, I've seen bruises like this before and we need to make sure that nothing is broken," he says. "I can call in Bruce, or Helen, if you'd like. No one else on the team has to know if you don't want them to. But we need to make sure you're okay."

"Okay?" you ask, confused. "He's going to know, he always says I can't go to a doctor or the hospital, that they won't even treat me because nothing is wrong and he'll be so mad if I do it, I promised not to." The look in your eyes is wild, but you're speaking in sentences again and Steve takes this as a good sign. What you're saying is an entirely different story. But if he wants to help you, he can only take it one step at a time.

"He's never going to find out, I promise. Okay? You're not even going to leave the building, just downstairs in the medbay. No paperwork, no records, nothing. I'll stay with you if you want." You don't look convinced. "I promise he'll never know, alright? Do you trust me when I say that?" he asks, hoping to appeal to your rational side.

"Steve, I–I... he always finds out everything I try to keep from him. Why would this time be any different?" you're desperate and terrified, and Steve wants to rip that guy's throat out for everything he's done to make you like this.

"Sweetheart, because this time you have a team of superheroes and spies who are behind you," Steve says with a small smile.

This is what gets through to you. Your gaze flickers between his eyes, and your brows are still taught with fear. Slowly, however, you nod your head and say, "Okay Steve."

Relief floods his face as he pulls you back in for a gentle hug. "It's gonna be alright," he promises. You want to believe him so badly.

Thank you for reading! Comments & reblogs are always appreciated. If I can help anyone feel comforted by this, I'll have done my job<3

[writersblockedx]

Challenged Expectations

Pairing - Loki x Fem!Reader Summary - When Loki joins the Avengers team, he certainly isn't given a warm welcome. Until one night, he opens up to yourself. Warnings - Some violence? Words - 2.5K

Masterlist

It wasn't up to you whether it was a good idea or not. Frankly, if you were sat at the head of the Avengers table, you might have suggested against it. And Tony Stalk certainly had done, but he wasn't the one at the head of the table (despite what he wanted to think); Nicky Fury was. What he said went and you weren't stupid enough to pick a fight with Nick Fury.

Tony, however, Tony was that stupid.

"He's the bad guy Fury, we put him in that prison cell in the first place!"

"It's called rehabilitation."

You glanced at Nat: head in her hands. You weren't wasting your time sat in that seat any longer. Without a word, you took your papers which you attended the meeting for and headed for the door. Your attempt to escape didn't go unnoticed; you were stupid to think that it would.

Tony's glare swapped to you, his fingers snapping before your hand could even reach the glass door which separated the meeting room from the rest of the quarters. "Hey, hey, where do you think you're going? We're in the middle of something."

"No," You gestured between him and Fury, "You two are in the middle of something and I'm not in the mood to be listening to it anymore." Just before you slipped away, you made sure to add, "And just so you know, you're wasting your breath."

You wished Tony had believed you. But he was more naive than he cared to believe.

He made it quite known to you all when the papers had been signed, that he was pleased he wasn't living in the compound. Truth was, everyone was apprehensive. Even Fury's fingers itched as the move-in day crept closer and closer. His bedroom was being made. You watched as emerald bed sheets were covered across the once blank slate of the spare room, specs of golden decor and the thing which confused you most: a bookshelf. It was never your first assumption that ex-super-villains were bookworms.

When the day finally arrived, New York was quiet. The news had broke to the public and suddenly all eyes were on the team, watching as they welcomed someone who was once such a foe to them all.

You had been watching from the training room's floor-to-ceiling windows. A beam of light shot to the entrance and there he stood, amid Asgardian and Avenger security. His wrists were cuffed, stopping him from hugging his brother as Thor welcomed him. Though, you did wonder, even if the man wasn't cuffed, would they have even wanted to hug? Thor had always spoken fondly of his brother but accepted his faults and quite brutal mistakes. To him, however, rehabilitation was an excuse he could get behind. The rest of the team still weren't fully convinced.

You would remember the next moment for the rest of your life. Just as you were staring down from the window, fidgeting with the blade between your fingers you had been practising with, the man below turned his head. And his eyes met with yours. He didn't blink, nor did he make any expression. He just stared and you could never forget the feeling of shivers which crept up your back.

It was an hour later, after you had finished training and freshened up when you met the man for the first time. Well, when he re-introduced himself.

The two brothers sat at the breakfast bar, sharing some Asgardian liquor you were far too human to even. You were, however, on the hunt for dinner. The second you stepped foot into the kitchen, their casual conversation slowed and eyes flickered to you. Ones of which you attempted to ignore. But then he stood and you had almost forgotten how tall he was when he was standing over you like that.

Your eyes had widened, his sudden stance having taken you aback. He offered a hand, "Loki," He grinned as if you didn't already know.

You shook his hand. But it was light, quick and futile. "We have met before." You muttered, opening the fridge door and trying to spot what would be the quickest to make: noodles.

 "Under much different circumstances, of course." He went on.

You glanced to him. He was still standing; why was he still standing? "Which is why it's going to take much more of a handshake to just move on."

Loki accepted that, took one look at your turned back and moved to sit back with his brother.

To be fair to the man, he didn't create much fuss about his unwelcoming welcome. In fact, he seemed to have already accepted that to be the case before he ever even stepped foot in the compound. And the rest of the team were happy with that; letting him get on with things silently. Not that it had lasted for long.

A certain heist mission had made Loki tip. He, you, Natasha and Tony were to retrieve a piece of alien tech that had fallen into the wrong hands. Some warehouse off the Amalfi cost was looking to trade said piece of technology into even worse hands. Easy job. One of which at least three of you had done several times before. Now should have been no different. But now you had Loki. Even before you stepped onto the jet, things were tense.

It got even worse when the warehouse had a better defence than any of you had imagined. "Where the hell are you guys?" Stalk chimed into your earpiece.

You and Natasha were practically back to back, protecting the few citizens who populated the small island (living right next to criminals they didn't know existed). Your blade was swirling across a soldier's throat before you dared to answer Stalk, "Me and Romonoff have our hands tied right now."

"Doing what? Kissing each other's asses." He sneered.

Your elbow hit the gut of another soldier, "I wish." Natasha huffed.

"We're at the back of the warehouse." A punch to his chin. Another. He went down after the third. Though, you weren't certain he was dead. "There's citizens we didn't know about."

Tony paused and then you heard a sigh through your ear. "Well I've got the bloody hydro-whatever it's called and I've also got a huge group of soldiers 30 seconds away from man-handling me for it!" There was an anger laced in his tone.

You glanced to Natasha who had just pulled the trigger of her gun; another five soldiers awaited their turn to fight you both. "We're tied up Tony." You admitted as you readied yourself for the bruises to come. 

There was, of course, one other option. An option of which Tony refused to ask for. So, for what you thought must have been the first time, you heard Loki's voice come through. "I'm right around the corner from you."

You never saw it happen. You just heard their voices. In the midst of keeping the soldiers in front of you at bay, you heard their argument unfold.

"What are you doing?" Said Loki, a panic growing in his tone that made it hard to concentrate and instantly raised the question: what was Tony doing? "Stalk! I'm here." A moment passed. "Pass it me!"

It was quiet when it came but each of you heard it loud and clear: "Not happening."

The travel home was mockingly quiet. Tony navigated the jet back to the compound, you and Nat sat across from one another in silence and Loki scoured the corner of the ship, as far from Tony as he could get. For once, you didn't blame him. You had failed this mission because Tony refused to work as a team. And now God knows where that piece of Tech was heading.

But even that travel home could not compare to the wrath Fury had been waiting to give you all.

"The three of you," He glared between Tony, yourself and Natasha. You had all been seated on a sofa while Fury paced the room. "Are some of my top agents-"

Tony raised his hand, "I'm not one of your agents."

"I wouldn't even start, Stalk." Fury's tone cut through the atmosphere like a knife to butter. "You're the reason we got into this mess." He made clear. "Teamwork. That's what the Avengers are, it's what we strive to create. Which was why I was certain bringing in Loki would work, his skills are what we need right now and I had my confidence in all of you that you would accept that."

Discreetly, your head turned to the dark-haired man. He was sat at the edge of the sofa while the three of you seemed huddled together. He didn't seem smug, nor did he seem upset. If anything, he was just disappointed to be sat in front of Fury this way. "You," Fury was looking only at Tony now, "It's your responsibility to make this right now. Get that tech before it blows up a European country."

The failed mission had hit all of the team. The air was thick and any words spoken between the Avengers did little to clear that. You didn't dare address it. Rather, for most of that week, you secluded yourself in your room, or the training grounds, doing whatever you could to ignore the memory of what had happened.

One night, your mind simply wouldn't shut off. It was tossing and turning around the idea of where that tech was right now and what they were planning to do with it. And as much as you repeatedly told yourself it wasn't your fault and that Tony was tracking the tech, it didn't help much with your insomnia. So rather than wallow in your bed, you crawled from it and wandered into the kitchen. A drink might just help you.

You thought you were alone. It was dark and quiet. So why ever would you think that there was someone watching you from the sofa adjacent from the kitchen. "What are you doing?"

You had practically jumped from your skin, "Jesus!" You turned, mug gripped in your hands as you faced the black-haired God. "What the hell, Loki!"

He slid from the sofa, "I didn't mean to scare you."

Your head clocked to the side, unimpressed, "Really?"

"Really." For once, he seemed sincere. "I'll ask again, what are you doing?"

"Couldn't sleep." Your gaze followed him as he slowly gained closer to you. "Thought a drink might help."

He didn't say anything, only looked back at where he was sitting. There, by the sofa he had been lying on, was a half-empty glass and a bottle of wine. "Suppose I had a different sort of drink in mind."

You don't know what pulled you to your decision but suddenly, you were putting back the mug and instead, taking out another wine glass. The man across from you smirked before leading the way back over to the living area. "I'm only doing this because I think it will help me sleep." You made clear.

"I wouldn't expect anything else." His words had given a slight tinge in your chest. One of which you chose to ignore. Anything that resembled sympathy for Loki was something you were always going to ignore, but it was something which had become more common recently. "Is it the mission?" He questioned, seemingly without a beat. "Or failed mission as everyone makes sure to name it." 

You looked to the red obis that swirled in front of you. That was easier than staring into the curious eyes of Loki, "Ding, ding, ding." Your laugh was hoarse, "I just can't stop thinking about what else I could have done."

"Nothing." His words cut through you like a dagger. Your eyes shot up; his were already trailing across you. "You and Romanoff were miles away. This failed mission was one person's fault and everyone knows that." 

Suddenly, his eyes weren't so intimidating. Perpahs they were even inviting like a warm bath ready to engulf your skin. "Are you enjoying this? Proving Tony wrong, being praised due to his downfall."

His head shook lightly, "No, I haven't enjoyed causing others embarrassment for some time now." Certainly hadn't been the answer you expected. "But I can't say I'm not happy that people are finally waking up."

His words caused your brow to quirk, "Waking up to what?" 

He chuckled into his wine, "Oh, come on, I don't need to spell it out for you." The look that you shot back at the man suggested that he did in fact have to spell it out. "Ignoring me, pretending as if I'm not there, that's only going to cause problems. In this case, a big problem." With that, he took a long sip from his glass, not breaking eye contact with you.

For a moment, you were unsure what to say. Suppose that's what you get for agreeing to sit down with the ex-villain; things were bound to get awkward. "I'm sorry we-" You stopped yourself and your gaze dropped to the floor. "I made you feel that way." You made sure to correct yourself. 

"It was to be expected."

Your eyes gazed back at him; silence. But not so awkward any more. It seemed that barrier had been broken now. A huff fell from your lips as you threw yourself further into the sofa, shoulder to shoulder with the God himself. You needed only turn your head now, only slightly, and suddenly there were only inches between the two of you. "And you don't want to be king anymore?"

He laughed ever so softly it seemed to tug you closer, like you were a fish on a hook, ready to dangle from Loki's fingertips. "No, no, my royal days are over." He seemed sure of such.

A second or so passed until you became curious again, "Then what do you want?" Why else was he here?

You were staring up at him; them inches between you were slowly getting smaller. "I'm not sure." His voice only a breathless whisper hitting your skin, erupting goosebumps. "I think I'm-" He paused as you both became ever so aware of what was about to follow. "I'm figuring things out-"

His lips hit yours. All patience was lost, the need to finish his words left him and suddenly his mind was engulfed by the thought of your kiss. And when you pulled from it, your pupils lingering on his, you should have been regretful. You should have been thinking about what Stalk was going to say, or the consequences fury would make sure fell to you or even the teasing Natasha and Steve were sure to make. Instead, all you could think about was how at peace you felt and how you were already desperate for more. 

[teddypines]

Nighttime Troubles

----------------------------------------------------------------

Summary: Y/N having trouble sleeping with out their dad while their other parents try to calm them down and get Tony back in bed.

Note: Gn!Reader, around 3 years old. Yes Soap is the name of her sheep plushie, because i love my Soapie to much and he needed to be in my story.

Art/picture is from Pinterest, credits go to whoever made it. I just put it together like this.

Translations: Dorogoy = Sweetheart (And expensive, for some reason, if you know why this is please tell me. Translate is weird.)

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Y/N was having a rough couple of nights, the nightmares they had were getting too much for their little mind. Feeling so many big feelings and seeing scary things in their dreams. This didn’t bother the Avengers however, they all loved the little koala. Their koala was a bit of all of them. Their little miracle in life, their light. After defeating Loki everything went pretty fast for the Avengers and just 2 years later they got married, all 6 of them (Tony bribed the minister and the person that would approve the paperwork) and in 2015 their little koala was born. 

Natasha was walking Y/N around the master bedroom, shushing them as she bounced them a bit in her arms. “shhhh, Dorogoy, it’s okay momma is here. No more nightmares, shhh.” She whispered to the little one as Thor came back into the room with a few extra plushies from Y/N’s room. “I didn’t know which one they would want, so i got them all.” Clint laughed a bit and grabbed the little sheep plushie from the stack in Thor’s arm. “This one, Soap, remember this one Thor. Soap is the favorite.” Natasha rolled her eyes and kissed Y/N’s cheeks.

After a few minutes Steve was done warming up Y/N’s bottle and quickly made his way back to the bedroom. “Any progress?” He asked worriedly as he handed Natasha the bottle. “No, not yet, Bruce is still trying to get Tony to come to bed, but he’s probably dealing with his own nightmares.” Clint answered. They all knew that Y/N slept the best between Bruce and Tony. Probably because they liked being in a science sandwich and Bruce and Tony were the warmest out of the parents. Natasha yawned as she sat down on the bed with Y/N. “Thor? Do you still have that story book somewhere? that one with both folktales and fairytales?” She asked, hoping that reading to Y/N would calm them down.

“Yes! I’ll grab it and read to the little one!” Thor cheered as he walked over to the book shelf and grabbed the book Natasha mentioned. He went to the bed and sat next to Natasha and Y/N before starting to read in the soft tone he only used with Y/N. “This one is called ‘The Forest Bride’. There was once a farmer who had three sons,” Thor read to Y/N, and secretly Natasha. Y/N wasn't crying anymore as they suckled on their bottle while listening to Thor reading their favorite story. 

Steve and Clint smiled at the three of them on the bed. “I’ll go check on Bruce and Tony.” Steve said before stepping away from Clint. Sadly Steve jinxed it, Bruce walked into the bedroom. Clint gave Bruce a worried look and opened his arms for him. Bruce walked defeated into Clint’s arms. “I tried, he just won’t listen to me right now. He’s scared to go to bed and then hurt Y/N if he wakes up” Bruce explained quietly. Steve sighed. “I'm going to talk to him, this is the biggest load of bull shit i’ve ever heard, and that is saying a lot.” he fumed before leaving the bedroom. 

Bruce looked over at the bed and saw Natasha asleep against Thor with Y/N on her lap. Thor was still reading the story to their koala. Clint looked down at Bruce. “Wanna go sit with them?” Bruce nodded and Clint smiled as he helped Bruce to the bed. He made sure Natasha, Bruce and Y/N were okay with Thor, who was now happily reading the next story in the book, before following after Steve.

When Clint was close to the lab he could hear Steve and Tony yelling at each other. He walked around the corner and saw Tony tinkering on one of his suites while Steve yelled from Bruce’s desk. 

“Just don’t Steve, just don’t, okay? I am not going to bed!” Tony hissed as he slammed down his screwdriver. “No, I won't let you stay up like this. You have to sleep, you need sleep to function. How are you supposed to take care of yourself or Y/N if you are not sleeping, not well rested. You know it's safe in the bedroom, you know you won’t hurt us or Y/N. You know damn well that you are just running away right now!” Before Steve could say more Clint put a hand on his back and gave him a look. 

Tony looked over at Steve when he didn’t continue his rant. He saw Clint by Steve's side, he let out a big sigh before responding. “I think I know my own health better than you do Star Spangled Banner. Now leave me alone! I do not need this! I do not need sleep. I do not need you, or anyone else to take care of me! I am fine!” He yelled at both his husbands. He didn’t need them, didn't need to be told he wasn't actually doing fine, but even with a few years of therapy and loving partners, Tony could still fall back into old habits. 

Clint tried to reach out for Tony, tried to tell him he was wrong but yelling came from the hallway before he could. A very angry Natasha, followed by Thor and Bruce came Into the lab. Y/N in her arms. “Anthony Edward Stark! Hold your child!” She hissed before handing Y/N over to Tony. Y/N reached out for Tony and he reluctantly took them from Natasha. “Daddy…” Y/N whispered into Tony's shoulder. This broke Tony a bit, not just a bit, but more than he liked to admit.

“I… I think I might need some help… And Someone to take care of me and take me too bed…” Tony admits as he held the little koala. Natasha smiled and grabbed onto Tony's arms. “Let's get you two to bed. Thor will continue his story and you two can cuddle with Bruce. We'll deal with the rest tomorrow” Natasha said before leading Tony away from his work.

Soon after both Y/N and Tony were on the big bed. Thor reads more of his stories to Y/N, and the others. As Bruce held Tony close with Y/N in between their science sandwich. Y/N was already fast asleep when Thor finished the first story. With Natasha following shortly after. Clint was the next one to fall asleep, somewhere between story three and four, happily in Steve’s arms. Thor fell asleep while reading after Steve fell asleep. But Tony stayed awake, like Bruce. Him keeping an eye on Tony. 

“Want to talk about it?” Bruce asked Tony, he was worried. “Not right now. Is that okay? we will talk about this later?” Tony answered to which Bruce pulled him closer, letting Tony be the little spoon. “Yeah, that is okay. But we are going to talk about this, because we are worried and want to help you, because we love you. Just like we love this little koala.” Bruce said before fixing Y/N’s hair a bit. “Just let us help you like you always want to help them.” Tony nodded his head slowly before kissing Y/N’s head. “We’ll talk after I slept for more than 6 hours.”

“Just close your eyes” Bruce whispered before he felt a small kick against his back. “Go to sleep” Steve whisper yelled tiredly. Y/N hugged Tony’s arm and snored a bit as Bruce and Tony finally closed their eyes to sleep.

<--------------------------------------------------------->

Somewhere in the middle of the night Soap, the sheep plushie, fell out of the bed. This was quickly noticed by Y/N who started to wiggle out of the science sandwich. they crawled to the end of the bed and reached over the end towards Soap. they almost had the plushie before losing balance. With a small thud they fell off the bed and hit their bum on the floor. 

Loud crying woke everyone but Clint, he didn’t wake up since he didn't have his hearing aid on. Yes he forgot to take them out after falling asleep next to Thor and the battery was now dead. Steve was the first to get to Y/N he picked up the little one and the sheep. “shhh, baby doll, it’s okay. Daddy is here, shhh, you’re safe in daddy’s arms.” Steve whispered to Y/N. Thor shifted over to Steve and Y/N and carefully took them from Steve. He gently put Y/N underneath his nightshirt and held them and Soap against his chest.

Thor always thought Y/N was given extra sensitive and given bigger emotions by the gods then normal people, or Asgardians. They were he’s sensitive little angel, who needed a lot of touch to feel safe and deal with the big emotions and feelings. “There we go little poptart. Nice and warm with pappa, no one can hurt you here.” Thor rubbed Y/N’s back as he took them back to the bed. Steve smiled at Thor and how comfortable Y/N looked against him. “Owh look at you, are you comfy with pappa?” Natasha asked the sleepy toddler when Thor lay down next to her. Y/N nodded their head and stuck their thumb into their mouth.

“So no need for a science sandwich anymore I see. Well i'll be back in the lab if you all need me” Tony announced and tried to walk past Bruce and Steve. Only for Steve to grab Tony by his shirt collar and pulls him back towards him and Bruce. “You need sleep, Tony. Back in bed.” Steve said in a stern but caring tone. “Or what?” Tony tried. “Or I will lock the lab and you won’t be able to go in until we think you can go in again. No more new Ironman suites or weird nicknacks. No more Peter Parker coming over for his ‘internship’.” Steve answered. The thing about not doing fun science things with Peter did it and Tony walked back to the bed. Tony liked (Loved) Peter too much, some might say he was his son. 

Bruce and Steve made it back to the bed and lay down besides the others. Y/N was already fast asleep again underneath Thor’s shirt. Clint was still asleep and snoring as Natasha cuddled up to him. The others pulled the covers back up and snuggled up before going back to sleep. Tony did try to sneak out of bed again once when he thought everyone was sleeping. only for Steve to pull Tony back onto the bed and hold him against him.

[themorningsunshine]

Pretense

(Requested)

Masterlist

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x f!reader , platonic Avengers x reader

Summary - You have been with orverprotective parents your whole life, and it never bothered you as much. You know they mean well. Until they spew lies in front of your friends and ruin everything for you, including your chance at love.

Warnings - shitty parents, angst, fluff, misunderstandings, a lot of crying, slight language. not proofread 

Word count - 7k (I need to be stopped) 

a/n - This was requested by the lovely @caritobbg​​. I thought it would be a short one shot but it instead turned out to be the longest fic I have ever written. I tried to do the idea justice, hope you lile it, girl. 

"Yeah, dad. I am at the tower."

"What do you mean why? I live AND work here."

"Yeah, I am taking care of myself, mom." "No, they don't fight each other all the time."

"No, Tony hasn't filled the tower with deadly robots." "No, Steve doesn't conduct history lessons here."

You sighed as your parents asked you for the 10th time this week if you were being kept hostage at the Avengers compound.

Your dad spoke from the other side of the phone. "You know we worry about you, princess. We just don't trust those superheroes."

You smiled a little at the nickname your dad had always called you since you were a little girl. "Yeah, dad, I understand that you worry about me but they are my friends and I trust them. I really wish you could trust them too."

Your parents had always been a little too protective of you. Being an only child, you were the object of their affection more often than not. It had never bothered you as much. You know they meant well.

But it had gotten much worse now. About a year ago, Tony Stark himself offered you a job to work with the avengers considering your skills and obviously, you said yes. It was an opportunity of a lifetime and you had found a family in the team too.

You hadn't told your parents about your new job for 6 months because you were afraid of their reaction. As you had anticipated, they didn't take their little girl working for superheroes very well.

Okay, that was an understatement. Your parents didn't trust the Avengers and they surely didn't trust them enough to be able to protect you. They took any chance they got to convince you to leave the job. All you wanted was for both of your families to get along. Maybe it was too much to ask for.

"Dad, we are friends. We look out for each other. We have each others' backs. Give them a chance, please. Why can't you try to trust them?"

"Hmm. Let me see. Your 'friends' consist of ex-assassins, a witch who used to work for Hydra, a "genius" and his scientist friend who created a robot that wanted to kill the whole of humanity. Oh, and the scientist also has huge anger issues. Like he literally turns into a monster when he is angry. Your best friend has killed more people than she can count. And this group of yours almost broke up once when the best friend of one killed the parents of another. Oh, and that soldier of yours has also reportedly killed a president. You are right. What's there to not trust?"

"Dad, he was brainwashed!!"

"Doesn't make him any less unstable."

You sighed. These arguments with your parents were a dead end. You knew you weren't going to get anywhere.

"Alright, mom, dad. I gotta go."

"Okay, sweetheart. Just take care of yourself. At least until we come to meet you next month."

You smiled at that. "Can't wait. I want to introduce you to everybody. Love you, guys. See you soon, Bye"

"We love you too, princess."

Your smile dropped as you hung up the phone and realization struck you. Your parents were going to visit and as much as you wanted them to meet everybody, you were scared. You could never be sure about how your parents would react. They were too unpredictable.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear footsteps approaching.

"You okay, doll?"

The voice startled you as you turned back to be met by the beautiful blue of Bucky's eyes. You kept a hand on your chest to calm your breathing. "God, you scared me, Buck."

Bucky just chuckled as he looked at you, eyes filled with concern. "Well, maybe you should be careful who sneaks up on you, doll. This is not really the safest place on Earth."

"The only person who sneaks up on me is you, Bucky." You replied with a smile of your own, as you felt your concerns slipping away.

"Exactly my point. I am not really the most trustworthy person either."

"Then why do I trust you with my life?" The words slipped before you could think about how they would sound. Your cheeks turn little red as you look down at your feet. "You are too good for your own good," Bucky replied with a slight blush of his own and he meant it with everything he had. You were too pure and too trusting for this world. He would never know how he got to even call you his friend.

His eyes squinted as he noticed something. "Doll, there's something in your hair."

Before you could react, he took a step towards you and with gentle hands removed a piece of confetti out of your hair.

You ran your hands through your hair before looking up to thank him when you realized how close the both of you were standing. You were pretty sure he could hear how fast your heart was beating.

The both of you stood there staring into each other's eyes until Bucky took a step back, red color creeping up to his cheeks. He rubbed his neck, flustered, before finally speaking, "Um, I should - I should go."

You nodded your head, trying desperately to get your heart to beat normally. "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you around."

As Bucky walked away, you couldn't wipe off the smile from your face when suddenly your conversation with your parents hit you again.

God, it was going to be a long month.

✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚

"And if you need anything, you can also ask Jarvis." You explained to your parents with the widest grin on your face.

"God, I can't believe you guys are finally here."

Your parents smiled at you before your mom engulfed you in a hug, 7th in the past 1 hour.

"Okay, guys. You know I love you both so much, but we are going to go in now and meet everybody. Can you please, please be nice?"

Your mom put her hand on her chest with a dramatic expression, "You don't trust us?"

You chuckled at how dramatic your mother could sometimes be. "I do, You know I do. But I also know as a matter of fact that both of you aren't very fond of my friends. And all I am asking is that you give them a chance. They are great people, mom. They are really really great and I care a lot about all of them. So, I just need you to be a little open-minded about them. That's all I am asking. Can you do that for me?" "Of course, we will, princess. We hate these inept superheroes but not as much as we love you."

Your parents then looked at each other a too long, which you didn't think much of, too excited at the prospect of your parents and friends getting along.

You took them inside the compound as they looked around in what you hoped was awe.

"Good morning, J.A.R.V.I.S" You greeted the AI just like you did every day.

"Good morning, Ms l/n"

Your parents looked around in shock trying to figure out where that voice came from when you chuckled. "Mom, dad, I told you, you need anything, just ask J.A.R.V.I.S"

Your dad narrowed his eyes at you. "Where is this JARVIS of yours?"

You giggled before replying, "Everywhere and nowhere." Troubling your parents never got old.

"Stop putting forward riddles, we are not in a fantasy adventure movie." Your mom complained.

"Sorry. Sorry Mom, dad, meet J.A.R.V.I.S. He is an AI that operates the whole tower, literally. If you want to know anything, just ask him. Tony created him. That man is such a genius."

Your dad almost rolled his eyes. "Why couldn't he just hire a human to work for him, just like normal people do?"

You sighed, just hoping that the day goes smoothly.

You couldn't be more wrong.

✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*

"And this room is the briefing room." You opened the door to let your parents in but they just looked around from the doorway.

You had just started showing your parents around the compound, readying yourself for the inevitable. The whole team was pretty excited about meeting your parents and you knew sooner than later that someone will run into you.

The inevitable happened as soon as you stepped into the dining room.

Tony was standing there, getting his morning cup of coffee and his face told you he hadn't slept very well last night. Ever since he picked up the mission to update the compound's security system last month, he had hardly been sleeping. You were worried about him.

"Tony?" You said in a soft voice so as to not startle him.

"Oh, hey, kiddo. Awake a little too early today?" He said with a tired smile on his face, taking a jab at the fact that you were definitely not a morning person.

"Are you okay, Tony?"

"Hmm, yeah. Totally." He then looked at your parents who were standing beside you with a scowl on their faces. "Won't you introduce us?"

"Oh, right." A wide grin spread on your face as you turned towards your parents. "Mom, dad. This is Tony. Kind of the co-leader of the group. Tony, these are my parents."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr and Mrs l/n. You have a great daughter."

Your cheeks turned red until your parents began speaking.

"So, he is the guy who has his head so up his arse that he doesn't care about anyone besides himself?" Your dad with a scowl on his face.

You gasped as Tony's eyes widened. "Dad, what are you talking about?"

"He is Stark, right? That's what you said about him after the first day you worked here."

Your eyes widened as your mouth fell open. What was happening? You hadn't even told your parents about your job for the first 6 months. Why were they -

Your eyes frantically searched for Tony's and you felt a slight pain in your chest when you saw how hard he was trying to feign the hurt in his eyes. You needed to set this right. "Tony - "

"Oh, and could you please stop annoying our daughter with all the science and tech talk? That stuff bores the shit out of her." Your mother interrupted you before you could even say anything.

You looked at Tony, desperately trying to explain to him that it wasn't true. You had told your parents how much you loved listening to Tony rambling about his latest creation. You loved how passionate he was about his work. You couldn't imagine your parents using that against you like this.

Before you could say something, Tony spoke, "Oh, I am sorry, I didn't know me talking about what essentially pays your salary irritated you so much." He said with a snarl in his voice that he had never used with you before. Even though the both of you weren't that apart in age, he was like a dad to you and you would never hurt him.

"Tony, it's not what you think." You said, desperately asking him to give you a chance to explain yourself when some more people walked through the door.

You watched as Nat and Wanda entered the kitchen, engrossed in their talk, smiling when they see you.

"Heya, girl"

You internally panic. You didn't know what your parents were up to but this couldn't be nice. You just wanted to take them away from here.

Tony speaks up before you can do anything, "Her parents are here. And they have something very interesting to say. Turns out our goody two shoes has some very different thoughts about us."

"Tony, no. It's not like that. I don't know why - "

"Hey, let me guess who are these two." Your mother exclaimed, conveniently shutting you up.

Wanda looked between you and Tony in confusion before smiling at your parents. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Y/n talks a lot about you."

Your mom looked her up and down before saying with disdain in her voice, "Redhead. A pretty face. You must be the witch."

Wanda's smile wavered but she didn't let her discomfort show.

"You're the one who is so desperate for love that she is dating a toaster."

Wanda gasped as her smile fell. She looked at you, confused and hurt.

"Mom, what are you - "

"That's what you told us, princess. That she is dating a toaster. What's its name again? Vi - Vis.." "Vision. His name is Vision and he is NOT a toaster." Wanda then looked dead into your eyes. "But it's good to know that that's what you think, y/n."

You shook your head frantically. "No, no, Wan. It's not like that. You know that's not true. I would never say that."

Wanda's eyes didn't waver and dread filled you. Your friends were not trusting you.

"What does she say about me?" Nat spoke up. She asked as if she couldn't care less but being her best friend for almost a year now, you could read it in her eyes that she was almost as afraid of the answer as you were.

"You're the black widow, right?" Your father questioned.

Your mother spoke up without waiting for a reply, "You are the useless one. No, like, really, the three of us always wonder, why are you even a part of the group? There are supersoldiers in here, witches and literal gods, what do you do? Throw some punches? Kicks?"

"Gods. That reminds me, where are the self-proclaimed gods/aliens of yours?" Your dad snickered, amused.

"Which one?" Your mom questioned in reply. "The doofus or the monster which can never be trusted?"

You had had enough. You exclaimed, "Okay, guys. Enough. Stop talking."

Your dad smirked. The audacity. "Come on, princess. Aren't you tired of pretending? Don't you want your friends to know what you actually think about them?"

You opened your mouth to tell them that whatever they were saying was as far from the truth as it could get when everybody in the kitchen heard footsteps approaching.

You heard Steve before you saw him, "Who thinks about what?" He asked, genuinely curious.

Your heart started beating frantically when you realized he wasn't alone. Sam and Bucky had entered the kitchen with him. But unlike the other times, your heart was beating with fear. This couldn't be happening. No, no.

"Y/n's parents are here. They were telling us all the great stuff she says about us to them." Wanda said with pure disgust in her voice. You had never seen her this mad.

"Guys, trust me. It's not - " "Come on, y/n. Let them speak." Sam said before turning towards your parents. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr and Mrs l/n."

Your father rolled his eyes before saying, "You're the one who got kicked out of the Air Force and then kissed Captain America's arse for a job."

Sam's jaw dropped but before he could say anything your mom replied, "No, honey. Y/n told us it was that Ant-man."

Your dad shook his head. "No, no. Antman is the one who went to jail. He is Falcon."

You were seeing red now. You knew that your parents were a little too overprotective of you and hence didn't like you taking this job. But you thought meeting your friends and realizing how caring and nice everybody was would change their minds. You never thought that they would ever do this to you.

You desperately wanted to explain yourself. To tell your friends that this was all a lie but you couldn't. You could see it in their eyes that they already hated you. And with your parents standing right there, you knew it would be impossible to give them. Maybe you could talk to them after your parents left. You just hoped they would give you a chance to explain yourself.

When your dad's eyes landed on Bucky, panic swelled inside you. Nononono.

"Oh, and you must be the winter soldier. That metal arm makes it pretty obvious though." Your dad said as he pointed towards Bucky's left side with pure disgust in his eyes as if it was the most horrifying thing he had ever seen.

Tears welled in your eyes as you saw how Bucky pulled his sleeves to cover more of his arm and blocked it from view.

"Do you have any idea how difficult you make it for people to work in this compound? Y/n complains to us how she has to walk on eggshells around you, scared that anytime you would get back to being the assassin that you have always been." Your mother uttered the words with a permanent frown on her face.

"But can you blame her though? You can not just kill hundreds of people and live freely, pretending to be a hero."

"Enough." You shouted. You couldn't take it anymore and your parents had gone too far.

You looked at Bucky, about to explain to him that none of it was true. That you were never scared of him. Not even for a second. Because you loved him. Since the day you had met him, your heart had held nothing but love for him.

But the look that you saw in his eyes made you stop in your tracks. He wasn't looking at you with hate or anger. No, it was much worse. He looked hurt. As if someone had pulled his heart out of his chest and stomped on it. You couldn't help but notice that his eyes held a little bit of understanding too as if he didn't blame you for thinking that way.

Your chest hurt and you wanted nothing more than to reach out to him.

"Wow. That - that was." Steve broke the silence, but it was the first time you had seen him out of words. "Is that really what you think about us, y/n?"

"No, no, Steve, None of it is true."

"Come on, princess. You don't have to put up a facade anymore. No more pretense."

"Stop it." You shouted at your parents. This was the first time you had ever raised your voice at them, but you couldn't care less. They were ruining everything.

"Guys, you need to trust me. Please." You looked at everybody, begging them with your eyes and words to just trust you.

"I don't understand. Why did you pretend to be our friend for so long? Why pretend to care when that's what you really think?" Wanda spoke, bewildered.

"No, no. That's not - " You spoke, tears at the brim of your eyes. This couldn't be happening.

"For the money, of course. Come on, why would someone live in the most dangerous place on earth if not for a buttload of money?" Your dad said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, no, no, please. You guys have to trust me, please." You looked around at everybody, frantically searching for even a hint that everything was not ever. That they could trust you. But all you got was hurt faces and built-up walls.

"Why are you doing this to me?" You shout at your parents. You were extremely close to sliding on the floor and crying your heart out.

"We are trying to help you, princess. We are freeing you." Your mom said with a smug expression.

"You don't have to do that anymore," Tony spoke and all the eyes in the room looked at him. Hope swelled in your chest.

"You don't have to stay here and pretend to like us. I really really want to fire you but you know too much and your statistical skills are too good to be wasted. So, you will be transferred. Somewhere far from us where we don't ever have to see your face." Tony spoke with a sense of finality in his voice and your heart broke into a hundred pieces.

You looked at your feet and swallowed the lump in your throat before looking at him and whispering, "You don't have to do that." You then turned and looked into the blues of Bucky's eyes which you were so familiar with and all you could do was whisper, "I am sorry."

You didn't wait for anybody's response before walking out and towards your room.

There was nothing that you could do anymore.

You were not going to take that transfer.

This job was never about money to you. You had found a family here, and you loved them with everything you had. But it still wasn't enough for them to trust you.

You cried and cried and cried till you had no more tears to let go before getting up and packing your bag.

You had to leave. You couldn't face them again.

There was only one thing left to do.

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The compound was silent.

It was as if nobody even lived here anymore.

Everybody sat at the dining table staring at the food in front of them, nobody taking a bite.

It was as if a part of them was missing. As if the one thread that had bound them together was somehow suddenly torn apart.

There was an unspoken agreement between them. Nobody would talk about what had happened earlier that day. The wound was too fresh to be confronted.

Nobody knew where you were right now. But everybody just assumed that you were in your room.

Steve was very close to barging into your room and bringing you to the dining table. He couldn't count the number of times he had told you that you shouldn't talk while eating and even after choking on your food twice, you hadn't listened to him and Steve was glad. There was nothing he wouldn't give right now to bring back the lively chatter that had always surrounded the dining table. But he had to remind himself that everything he had thought was a lie, a pretense.

Tony was angry. He was seething. He had cared for you like you were his own daughter and you had thrown all of that into a drain.

Wanda just wanted to know how you were so good at acting. How you could pretend to be her best friend when you hated her all along?

But Bucky just wanted to know one thing - why. He didn't blame you for thinking that way about him. You weren't the only one who did. But he wanted to know why you would pretend to be his friend, to care about him when you thought him to be a monster. Why did you comfort him after all those panic attacks and nightmares telling him it wasn't his fault when you blamed him for every single thing? Why had you let him fall in love with you if you couldn't even stand him? You had to know that it would leave him devastated. He didn't blame you for hating him, but how was he supposed to live without your light now? Especially when he knew it was never for him?

Nat couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't just let everyone swallow themselves in silence for a person who never even cared about them in the first place. She harshly got up before walking towards the living room for a bottle of wine.

She shook her head when the memories of all of you hanging out at the same place plagued her mind.

As she walked past the bookshelf, she noticed something which had never been there before.

She frowned as she walked towards it to realize that it was a pen drive. She slowly picked it up to find a note attached to it which just read, "Sorry".

She was so engrossed that she didn't hear footsteps approaching until a hand took the pen drive from her. She looked up to realize Tony was looking at the drive intently as if scanning it with his eyes.

"What's this?" He asked, confused.

"No idea. Found it on the bookshelf."

Tony read the note and recognized the handwriting almost instantly. "It's y/n's."

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Everybody sat in the living room staring intently at the screen before them.

Tony had assembled everybody and they had all agreed to watch the pen drive once. Maybe it would answer their questions. Maybe it was just an old pen drive and had to do nothing with what had happened today but they had to know.

The system finally finished scanning the drive after what felt like a lifetime and your face flashed on the screen.

Your tears-stained cheeks and red, swollen eyes, told them that the video was indeed today's.

"Hey, guys." You sounded broken and defeated.

"I am not even sure that you are going to watch this." You let out a sad chuckle.

"But I just needed to say this 'cause it feels like if I don't, it will swallow me whole. And you guys deserve to know the truth, too."

"I just - I want you all to know that all that you heard today, none of it was true. Not even a single word of it. And I need you guys to know this." You looked directly into the camera as if begging them to trust you and nobody dared to move.

"I - I don't know why my parents did what they did. I have no idea. I can tell myself that they were trying to protect me, but who am I trying to convince? 'Cause, you don't protect someone by taking away the best thing that ever happened to them." You sniffled, rubbing your palms on your face to wipe off the tears.

"And that is what this team was for me. This job, this team, was the best thing that ever happened to me. And it was never because of the money or the luxuries of living in the tower, it was you guys. You were a family I found in a city I knew nothing about. And that was what mattered to me."

Tony wanted to shut the video off, to tell everybody that maybe you were lying here too, pretending, but he knew it wasn't true. Your eyes shone with guilt and desperation and eyes never lie.

The video continued. "And maybe you are not even watching this video. Maybe you will never know how I actually felt and will hate me forever, but if there is even a slight chance that you are watching this, and there is a small part of you that can trust me, I want you to know what I actually think about you.

Tony, you were like a dad to me. You always looked out for me and were so damn concerned about me the whole time and I can't thank you enough. Thank you for always looking out for me and I never for a second got annoyed by you talking about tech, you might not know this but your eyes shine brighter when you are talking about your creations and I would never get tired of that. The only complaint I had for you is that you need to take care of yourself more. Stop sleeping in your lab and eating shawarma all the time in the name of food, it's not healthy. Take care of yourself, Tony, 'cause there are some people who will always need you."

Tony looked away, blinking hard so as to not let the tears roll down his cheeks. All the times when you brought him food in his lab because he hadn't left his spot for hours and then you forced him to finish it all, you didn't do it as a pretense, you did it because you genuinely cared about him.

"Nat, you're the bravest and the most badass person I know. Don't tell anyone, but you are my favorite fighter. I admire you so damn much. Who cares that you can't lift things with your mind or fly? You can kick people's asses without blinking an eye. You inspire me so much."

"Wanda, you and Nat are my best friends and I am so proud of you. After everything you've lost, gathering the courage to love again is the most courageous thing I've ever seen. You and Vis make me believe in love. Hell, I even had a speech ready for your wedding as your bridesmaid." You had a small smile on your face as if remembering something, "Now that I am not going to be there anymore, Nat, I am going to ask you to give a great speech from my side too. I know you are not a very emotion-oriented person, but please try. 'Cause Wanda deserves nothing but the best."

Wanda sniffed audibly and Nat kept a hand on her shoulder.

"Thor, prince of Asgard, Son of Odin." You said in the voice that Thor had taught you to intimate a long time ago and chuckled. "I know you are the one who stole all my pop tarts." As Thor's eyes widened, the video continued, "Don't act surprised. Why do you think I never changed the place of keeping my pop tarts even after they went missing every single week? I am not upset, nope. I don't even like those that much. I just need you to know that I won't be there to keep those tarts there. Ask J.A.R.V.I.S., he knows where I brought them from. He will tell you."

"Sam." Sam looked up from his spot as he heard his name. "I am a little upset with you. You never let me use red wig." You pouted and Sam chuckled. "But you do know that you are the funniest, smartest, and one of the most deserving people to be on the team, right? Hell, bringing you to the team was the best decision Steve ever made."

You stopped for a moment looking down at your feet, when you breathed, "Bucky." Your voice was much softer now as if his name was a prayer.

Bucky looked up into the camera, his heart beating a mile per minute. If this was all a lie too, he didn't want to know what you had to say. Even if it was actually how you felt, he wasn't sure he was ready for what you were going to say.

"I - " You stopped and took a deep breath. You looked vulnerable as if you were apart to lay your soul bare in front of you. "Bucky, I just - Whatever you heard today, it is not true. None of it. Since the day I met you, I have never been scared of you. Not for a single second. You know I don't blame you for anything that Hydra did, you have to know. I don't think you were a monster. I think you are the sweetest, kindest and bravest person I know. I wasn't lying when I told you that I trusted you with my life. I trust you, I care about you, and I - "

Bucky's breath hitched in his throat as you suddenly stopped.

"Well, there is a major chance that you're not even watching this, so .. why not? It's not like I am ever going to get a chance to say it to you. So, here it is -

I love you, Bucky. I am in love with you. I have been for a very long time now. I could tell myself that it was just a small crush and it would go away sooner or later, but who am I kidding? I want to spend every single moment of my day with you. You're the first thought that comes to my mind when I wake up and my last memory before I fall asleep. When you are around, I can't stop looking at you and when you are not, all I want to do is look at you. I know that you might never feel this way about me, especially after today, but I just had to say it once."

You took a deep breath before speaking with finality in your voice, "I just hope that one day you guys will know that it wasn't a pretense. That this team was everything to me. I found a family, a place to call home, I found love. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me."

The video stopped and everybody bowed their heads down while Bucky just stared at the screen desperately, as if you would walk out of it.

You loved him.

You wanted to be with him and god if that thought alone wasn't the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't think you could love him. He had accepted the fact that he was destined to love you from afar, a love that you would never know about.

But you felt the same. He didn't have to watch you fall in love with someone else and get your happily ever after, because you wanted that to be him.

You could be his happily ever after.

Before he could let himself be hopeful, realization struck him and left him breathless.

You had said that you would never get the chance to say it to him personally. The things that you had said, the finality in your voice, it had all sounded like a ... goodbye.

He stood up abruptly, only to realize that all the eyes were on him.

Some were filled with tears, others were trying really hard to keep their emotions in check. No, no, this couldn't be. How was he supposed to live without you now that he knew that you loved him too?

Without muttering a word to anybody, he rushed out of the room, through the corridor, and towards your room. You couldn't have gone yet. No, no, he would beg you to stay, get on his knees and ask you to forgive him.

He stood outside your door for a moment, taking a deep breath, mentally preparing himself.

He brought his hand to knock on your door, only to realize that it wasn't locked.

With bated breath, he pushed the door open.

It was vacant. Everything that you had put in to make it a home, was gone.

You were gone.

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The whole team stood in the living room, waiting.

Bucky walked in, his head shaking and arms trembling.

Nobody uttered a word as they waited for him to give words to the inevitable. He looked up, tears brimming his eyes as he whispered, "She is gone."

Everybody gasped as guilt filled them.

Only if they had trusted you.

"No, no. We cannot give up. We need to find her. I am going to find her. We cannot give up this easily." Bucky said, praying that he was right, that not everything was lost. There was still hope. There had to be.

"He is right. We can't just let her go." Wanda said, tears straining her cheeks. "There has to be a way." Sam agreed.

Tony suddenly lightened up as he took out his tablet. "We can track her. If she hasn't switched off her phone, we can find her exact location." He had enabled a tracking sensor in everyone's phone some time ago. He remembered the way you had pouted and teased him that it was an invasion of privacy, but had finally let him install it nonetheless.

He let out a sigh of relief when he realized he could still check the location of his phone. "She is heading towards the airport."

Dread filled everybody as Tony's words sank in. You were leaving. Forever.

"She is in a cab right now. I can figure out its number, but it might be too late."

"I have to go," Bucky exclaimed. "I am not going to let her go. No. I need to find her." He looked around, ready to fight anyone who came in his way.

But everybody just gave him a reassuring look as Steve whispered, "Go, get the girl, Buck."

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You looked through the window as the city lights bristled by.

Your cheeks were still stained with tears as you left behind the place you had called home.

But there was no other option. Your parents had left you with no other choice.

It hurt that they had actually been successful in their mind games, but there was nothing you could do. Your parents had taken from you, the best part of your life.

You were going to miss the city, the team, and your friends, but there was one person you were going to miss the most.

Leaving him was like leaving a part of your behind and you knew that Bucky Barnes was always going to have a piece of your heart, even if he didn't know about it.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as the cab came to an abrupt, sudden stop.

The cab driver looked back at you before asking, "Ma'am, are you okay."

You nodded your head before asking, "Are you?" After he nodded, you continued, "What happened?" "A man just rushed his bike past us, way beyond the speeding limit, and then stopped it right before us, in the middle of the bridge."

You frowned as you looked in front of the cab.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you recognized the bike and the man getting down from it.

"Bucky." You breathed before opening the cab door, against the driver's protests, your legs on autopilot.

When your eyes met Bucky's, you could see him visibly relaxing with relief.

"Bucky, what are you - " You exclaimed against the sound of the wind.

He got down from his bike and started walking towards you quickly. "Doll, how could you?"

Your heart skipped a beat at the nickname before you lowered your head. Of course, he hated you after what had happened. He didn't trust you.

You looked up to realize that he was a couple of feet distance from you now. You opened your mouth, apologies about to come tumbling from your lips when you were cut off by him.

You gasped in shock as Bucky closed the little distance between the both of you, pressing his lips to yours, in a gentle, yet desperate kiss, as if he was drowning and only the feeling of your lips could bring him back to the shore.

When the surprise finally washed off, you brought your hands to his chest as his led down to your waist, and you kissed him back. You didn't understand what was happening. But if it was goodbye, you wanted it to last forever.

When the necessity to breathe arose, Bucky pulled back but stood close.

He leaned in and touched your forehead with his before closing his eyes.

You breathed him in. He smelled of fresh coffee and pine. He smelled like home.

"How could you leave me, doll? Without even saying anything. Not even a goodbye?" He tried to be upset with you. But who was he kidding? You could stab him through his chest and he would still thank you.  

Tears brimmed your eyes as you took in a deep breath, you wanted to savor this moment. "Buck, I - I am sorry. Whatever my parents said today, it was a lie. A huge lie. I wanted to tell you, but - "

"It's okay, doll. I trust you. But, I - I need to ask you something." He took a deep breath, already dreading your answer to the question he was about to ask. "Did you mean it?"

"Of course, I didn't. None of it. I don't blame you for anything, Bucky. I am not scared of you. I have never been."

"That's not." Bucky closed his eyes shut, praying that he could word his feelings correctly. "We - we saw the video."

Your eyes widened as realization struck you. He knew.

You had stupidly confessed all your feelings on a video. What were you thinking? He would be so embarrassed right now but you couldn't back out now.

"Buck, I - I do love you. That is the truth. But you don't have to say anything. I understand if you don't - "

Before you could finish your sentence, Bucky brought his fingers under your chin to make you look up at him before leaning in to press his lips against yours once again.

Hope swelled in your chest as you brought your arms to encircle his neck and kissed him back.

He pulled away a little too quickly to look up at you with a small smile on his face. The look in his eyes made butterflies erupt in your tummy with a ferocity you had never felt before.

"I love you too, doll. I do. With everything that I have. I love you and I am so so sorry that I didn't give you a chance to explain. I am so sorry that I didn't trust you.

I never told you this because I - I am not good enough for you, doll. I don't deserve you."

You shook your head, about to correct him, when he continued, "And I think I still don't. Being with you puts you in so much danger too, maybe I shouldn't even be with you. But I am tired of pretending that I don't want to. I am tired of pretending like I don't want to spend every single moment for the rest of my life with you. So, if you'll allow me, doll, I'll spend the rest of my life, trying to be the man you can proudly call yours 'cause I love you so damn much."

Tears were now flowing down your cheeks for a completely different reason. You leaned in to kiss him again when the both of you were interrupted by the cab driver shouting from the cab, growing impatient, "Madam, do you want to go or not?"

Bucky looked at you with hopeful eyes and you turned back to yell to the driver, "Never"

[thefiery-phoenix]

REACTION TO YOU ESCAPING

Bruce, Bucky and Peter would be really miserable and heart broken. They'll ask you in a broken voice if what they're doing isn't good enough for you. They just want your love and affection that's all, they're already giving you everything you could ever ask for. If you still continue to misbehave with them, I imagine them just being like 'Angel please behave, you're upsetting me'. They're the soft yanderes who will use punishment as a last resort and even then, their punishments would most probably be something like locking you in a room with nothing to do till you say sorry. They'll overpower you in an instant and give you cuddles and don't even THINK of throwing things at them, it won't work

Now as for Tony, Thor and Clint, as much as they love you, they're trying their best to control themselves and trying you up. They'll just grit their teeth and pin you to the wall and ask you why you're doing this. They really don't want to punish you either, so at the very least, for punishments I have a feeling they'll emotionally manipulate you and say how dangerous it is for you to go out there. And heck, they might give you a chance to escape, till you get caught by kidnappers or people trying to harm you to which you'll run right back into their loving arms as they shush you and tell you hw much they love you and how safe you are with them

And as for Steve, Natasha and Loki, and Scott, well they might do the 'physical stuff' to you like treating you like a doll or slapping you and things like that. They won't care at that point if you're comfortable with doing something or not, you'll most likely get spanked by them. As much as they love you you're testing their patience levels and they'll do whatever it takes to make you behave for them even if it means breaking you

[missmarveledsblog]

THE MIND IS A PRISON , I'LL BE THE KEY ( BUCKY BARNES X ODINDOTTIR!READER )

Summary : when bucky has a nightmare so bad , she ready to comfort him not expecting what will follow when she does so .

warnings : angsty as hell with a fluffy cute as hell ending , hydra sucks , idiots in love , bucky tries and fails to be a dick , reader is stubborn in the best way possible , google translated russian so please be free to correct the errors , best friends to lovers .

hope you like it @joshwashingtonmybeloved <3

This was too familiar ,  that cold , mold  and damp  smell to the almost frozen concrete feeling  below . The bare dingy cell and what constituted as a mattress lay on the floor . decade in places like this  was all too familiar feeling  in his gut only made worse from the freedom he was getting used to . knowing what being here entailed  and what would follow had his heart beating faster , it felt like its thump echoed on the walls of the cell . the tensing of his muscle awaiting for the pain that was sure to come  and his mind almost scrambling to grasp every happy memory and shield it before it was taken away .   eye wide watching waiting , limbs heavy refusing to move and fight his way out why wasn’t he fighting this . the screeching of the cell door opening guns locked and aimed  feeling his body being dragged through the halls. like a ragdoll  .  the walls a faded olive or it was just the build up grime and dirts over   the years . watching the rooms and sell passing  , even if his eyes were closed he knew where he was going , all this place were the same , same corners , the same misery laced in the foundation and evil that seeped in it walls . 

Some movement as he pushed and fought the bastard like hell feeling the sting of the tasers on his skin the way his muscle  so used to the feeling till it was no use  as the straps held him down the metal piercing his skin almost pulsating in his skin  , the rubber in his mouth that made his stomach twist and turn the bile rise in his throat  .  while the devil stood over him , the cold condescending eyes that told him no matter what he’d never be free , the smile of victory on alexander pierce's face as  the currents start  , every zap that made his muscle contract and  his body seize , the screams of pain , the screams of hope to not fall into the will of these monster muffled .  those eyes of pure evil blurring , doubling and then gone as everything went black .

He thought it would be a nightmare come true   ,  being him again but this was worse maybe what happened in wakanda that freed him could also made him be locked in his own mind , a prisoner in his own body as while he was in full control .  watching what haunted his dreams in real time  wanting to scream be in control and stop this all . but he wouldn’t it was like he was happy that bucky was able to see this all .  The winter soldier fighting against the ones he loved the most , the people who helped in every part of him being a person again .  

“ come on buck this isn’t you” steve panted dodging the incoming blows , bucky wanted to scream tell them he was trapped .. tell them he was sorry he couldn’t stop this but he was trying to gain control . 

“Fight this come on i believe you can do this “ that voice  , the voice of someone that truly made him feel like he mattered , deserving on love  and the one he loved most in this and every universe and he knew that . one swift hit and steve was throw away and bucky felt his body move , locked in his own body and no control as the soldat zeroed in .  the new target to torture him .

“ no anyone but her please i will let you do what you want please” it felt like he was screaming the words  and yet his mouth didn’t move . slow deliberate steps toward his y/n odinsdottir a woman he loved in secret not willing to well this knowing she was too good for a monster like him , he was right at he could see her own eyes broken and filled with sorrow . 

“надеюсь ты смотришь(I hope you’re watching ) “  his own voice and not his words as he saw his own eye going to grab her but of course his doll was a fight , strong  and ready moving out of the way . 

“ bucky fight this , this is not you “ god her voice was so broken kicking and punching  her  him away trying not to hurt him. 

“ pretty one “ that voice was and wasn’t his speaking again grabbing her throat lifting her off the ground her finger scratching and scraping trying to pull his hands away , her face red  . 

“ t-t-this is n-n-not you “ she spluttered pulling her close her face was directly  at his .

“ Это есть и так будет всегда( It is and it will always be )”  * crack*  everything stop and the surge of his being pushing forth  slowly but surely his body was his own again a laughing in his head  when he looked down .  His whole world , his reason for being lifeless, cold and limp laying on the ground . 

“ doll ?  ..Y-y-y/n” he knelt holding her  in his arms as  he felt no life , no beating of her  heart . it was all gone , she was gone .  

The room was black when he shoot up panting and sweat pouring out his body looking around the room to see he was still in the compound. All the furniture y/n and steve helped him pick out and all the picture he pretended to be annoyed at when she made him smile or pose for . ones of him and the team along the walls he was home .  then the door flew open crashing with a bang  bed head and eyes dripping with concern and worry staring directly at him .  she was alive it was all a bad dream or was this the dream . his confused and frankly downright terrified expression  trying to decipher reality  and the subconscious of his own mind .  then he felt it the warm feeling of soft skin on his face  , she was holding  his face and talking so sweetly to him that grounding him back to earth .  

“ it’s just a dream , you're safe “ the coo of her melody filled voice his his ears . 

“ you broke the door again “ he could hear steve coming in  now  looking at scene before him. 

“ stark can afford it “ was all she shot back before returning her gaze onto bucky .  without warning or hesitation her pulled her to him holding her tightly and letting the warmth of her skin hit his own , her scent fill his nostrils and  the beating of her heart fill his ears. 

“ hey it’s ok i’m here, i’m not going anywhere “ her voice muffled and more high pitched than normal something he found adorable and sweet .  

“ i’ll leave you to it “was all steve was heard saying . 

“ buck ? “ 

“ doll i thought … i thought he got you , i got you and you were gone “ it was barely a whisper but she could hear it , she knew the moment she heard the screams what was going on and maybe she didn’t need to break the door but she need to get to him by any means necessary . 

“ I'm ok, look  well, actually don’t look.. I look like crap but listen, “ she smiled . “ feel” she took his hand suddenly he was afraid to touch her in case it wasn’t a dream or if he hurt her.  Then she moved it to her chest  where he could feel her heart beating strong and maybe a little fast but it was beating was the main thing. 

All that love he felt for her , something he kept so personal even from her , she was his friend and best friend at that . He never felt he deserved anything more than that , never felt she could love him like he loved her .  Yet in everything she was breaking the door and to get to him  , to make sure he was ok .  She was his doll , his friend and undisputedly the love of his life and that terrified him the most . every sacred thing in his life was destroyed and he couldn’t open himself to her because what would kill him more was destroying her or her being destroyed because of him . 

“ penny for your thought buckaroo” she smiled ever so softly . 

“ you need to leave and stay away from me “  that hurt on her face turn to a frown in a split second if he blinked he would have missed it . 

“ No “ simple but to the point crossing her arms . 

“ what do you mean no , leave .. get out of here “ he scoffed  if he had to be a dickhead to make her safe then so be it . 

“ no i’m not letting you do this asswipe” she climb over  situating herself in the bed beside him throwing him off his plans to get her away .  “ go” she mocked his voice. “ i know what your doing and it’s not working ok so go asleep or talk to me but i’m not leaving” that stubborn attitude  , that mouth that could rival stark  or give the billionaire a run for his money. 

“ i’ll hurt you or they’ll hurt you to get at me “ he turned . 

“ one  your not going to hurt me bucky  you won’t even spar with me properly  “ she rolled her eyes. “ hydra can’t hurt me kinda immortal “ she winked. 

“ loki died “ he shot back . 

“ loki dies every wednesday and come back saturday it kinda the regular “ she shook her head  . 

“ i can hurt you “ 

“ You can’t because you won’t it’s not in you to hurt your friends bucky and if your scared of him , he is gone he can’t hurt you anymore “ . 

“ what if he isn’t gone . what if he’s never gone laying dormont somewhere inside”. 

“ Then I will kick his ass and wait for you to come back and we will figure away to free you but we both know he’s gone bucky “ her hand laced in his , the conviction of her words and the way he could never doubt the truth in them . 

“ i don’t want to hurt you ever, “ he finally said .  “ I can't lose you,  of the people in my life I couldn't live again , this one i could never come back from if you were gone even more so if i was the one that made that happen …  you doll, your my heart and soul and everything that great in my life i love you too much “  the word he held in so long finally coming out , almost freeing in a sense .  feeling her scramble from her spot ready for her to run out the door and never speak to him again but instead she was kneeling once more in front of him.  Punching his arm taking him off guard before crashing her lips with his making his brain confused  , short circuiting before coming back to the moment  pulling her close to him as he kissed her back with much love  he kept inside for so long . every time she was close and he had to hold himself back would never be the case she was his doll  and that part of him that fear hurting her slowly melted away like ice thawing with the heart of her and his own love burning brighter giving a new sense of strength . 

Pulling away a pure and genuine twitch of his lips , the frown and worried expression long gone a smile was on his face. 

“ i don’t care what your mind thinks if you ever try push me away after that barnes were gonna have problem “ she sighed softly laying herself on his bed pulling him down with her . another thing his dream world never recognised was her strength much enhanced like his own  .  he lay his head on her chest feeling her hands in his hair , nails scratching along his scalp or the the soft hum of a song he heard thor tell them it was a old lullaby their mother sang to them as kids . usually he was afraid to sleep after such a nightmare but with every second of her soft embrace and every sense softly lulled to a comfort bliss , it was the  first time in a long time bucky felt himself smiling as he drifted off to a better  dreamland .  wasn’t long til she felt her own eyes grow heavy  and the call of the dream land calling her name. A tired smile on her lips to mirror his sleep  induced one before closing her eyes , an unspoken promise to keep him safe even from his own mind .   His mind  could be a prison and she would always be the key .

[storiesavenged]

Assistant

tony stark x assistant!reader

feat. best friend bruce banner

~ wherein your tony's new assistant and you were doing well, until you made a series of mistakes.

~ masterlist ~

!! warnings !!

• yelling, arguing

• tony is an ass for most of it

• reader has family issues

you knew he would be furious. your heart raced as you all but sprinted through the avengers tower up to his office, hearing jarvis alert tony that you had finally arrived your heart sank to the bottom of your chest. you were still new thus this could be detrimental to your position here. you knocked on tony's door, only entering once hearing him give the all clear.

"y/l/n, you're late. care to explain?" his voice was rough, annoyance seeping into his every word.

"i-i'm so sorry mr. stark, i had a personal matter.. it won't happen again.." your head stayed glued to the floor, afraid to see the look on your bosses face.

"of course it won't, because if it does you're finished. understood?" he spoke sharply, making you flinch.

"y-yes sir.. i understand sir.." you bit your lip, the threat of losing your job lay heavy on your psyche on top of your personal matters. you had gotten into a nasty fight with your parents before going to work this morning which is why you were late. they called you for the first time in several months just to ask for money again. you finally lost it, cutting contact with them once and for all. even though you loved them, it was clear they were trying to use you and you weren't having it. you were taken out of your thoughts by tony snapping his fingers.

"i need a coffee. go get me one y/l/n. and, be quick this time." he all but spat and you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. you made your way out of his office and down to the ground floor of the avengers tower. you got into your car and opened the app to tony's favourite coffee place. you placed a mobile order so it would be ready when you got there as to not waste any time. you needed to make up your mistake. you picked up his coffee, driving back to the tower with a hand holding it steady in your cup holder. you made your way back up to his office, knocking on his door. when he didn't answer you decided to ask jarvis where he was.

"hey jarvis? where's mr. stark?" you asked softly, still anxious about seeing him after your encounter earlier.

"he's in the lab, [insert your preferred title ] y/l/n." jarvis answered and you thanked him before making your way down to the lab, coffee in hand. as you were about to enter, your best friend bruce banner came out. he couldn't help the smile forming on his face when he saw you.

"y/n!! hi!!" his warm voice was so comforting to you in that moment, you almost wanted to melt into his arms and tell him everything.

"hey bruce!!" you smiled as you wrapped your free arm around him, pulling him in.

"wow, it is so good to see you right now" you rubbed your neck after pulling away, being careful not to spill tony's coffee.

"what's up?" he asked, slight worry in his tone. tony sure didn't notice your puffy eyes from crying but nothing could get past your best friend. you had to fight breaking down right then and there, remembering you had a task to do.

"i- oh gosh i'm sorry bruce, i can't talk right now... i have to get back to work. but i promise we'll catch up later okay?" you panicked a bit, knowing tony was probably waiting by now, and certainly displeased.

"alright, i'll see you later y/n" he smiled before walking off. you sucked in a breath as you entered the lab, your eyes scanning the room for tony. once you saw him you made your way over, coffee still in hand- until it wasn't. you had tripped over some wires laying on the floor and spilled his coffee all over him and the computer he was working at. your heart shattered, you knew you were toast. you stood up shakily, biting your lip as you went to grab a towel. you rushed back over to tony, him ripping the towel from your hands.

"s-sir i'm so sorry..." you started, wincing as he stared daggers at you.

"how incompetent are you, huh?! you just had to ruin everything didn't you?! you fucking idiot! you are just worthless!!" he yelled at you, causing you to shrink in on yourself. he stood up abruptly, shoving you out of his way leading you to land on the ground with a thud. your fought a pained scream as pain took over your left arm, wincing as you moved to stand up again.

"get the hell out. don't even think about coming back, you're finished." he spat, exiting the lab not without slamming the door behind him. a sob tore through your body as you fell back onto the ground, careful not to hurt your arm even more. your mind was racing with thoughts, blaming yourself, insecurity, the works. you were so lost in your thoughts you didn't notice bruce had entered the room.

"y/n..?" he rested a hand on your shoulder as he crouched in front of you, frowning when you flinched.

"b-bruce-" you choked out, sobbing when he pulled you into his arms. he picked you up and carried you to the medical bay, sitting you down on the bed. he knew you were hurt as he noticed you clutching your horribly bruised left arm.

"what happened, love?" he asked softly, not leaving your side. he took your hand in his, rubbing circles on your palm, an action he would always do to calm you down.

"mr. stark... he... i-i messed up... i spilled coffee on him a-and.. he pushed me... landed on my arm..." you breathed deeply, trying to calm yourself down.

"h-he fired me bruce... he said don't think about coming back ever..." you explained, tears filling your eyes once again. you just lost your relationship with your parents and now your job.

"love... that's so uncalled for, i'm sorry.. i'm going to have a word with-" you shook your head.

"p-please don't... it's fine..." you whimpered, not wanting to cause any drama or trouble. bruce frowned before nodding. he noticed you fighting a yawn and helped you lay down on the bed, sitting with you until you fell asleep. once he knew you were fully asleep he left quietly- not before doing what he needed to fix you up- refusing to let tony get away with his behaviour.

bruce pov ;

i barged into tony's office, not caring that i had just interrupted him and steve.

"what the hell banner, can't you see we're busy here??" he spoke sharply but i couldn't care less. he had just hurt my best friend. i took a second to calm myself as i could feel the other guy starting to come out.

"i don't care. why the hell did you break y/n's arm??? they are heartbroken thinking they just lost their job. what the fuck do you think you're doing???" i asked, livid that he had even put his hands on them.

"what the hell- you broke their arm?? what even happened??" steve was now staring at tony who rolled his eyes.

"they ruined the lab computer! and my damn suit. spilled my fucking coffee all over it. fucking incompetent-" a deep growl escaped my throat, interrupting him. i could feel the other guy threatening to take over, and the only reason he didn't is because steve brought me back to reality.

"you know who you remind me of right now, stark? you remind me of your father." i snarled, seeing his expression change instantly. he looked down at his lap, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. he stood up abrubtly, catching both of us off guard.

"where are you going?" i asked as he got up and headed towards the door.

"i... need to make this right." he looked at me with remorse in his eyes. i sighed, rubbing my temples.

"yeah. you do. their favourite flowers are [your favourite flower]."

"thank you. i'll be right back, jarvis tell pepper she's in charge while i'm away."

you woke up later that evening, moving to sit up, noticing your arm in a sling. you looked around the room for bruce, not seeing anyone you frowned. but you did notice your favourite flowers on the table beside the bed. your eyebrow twitched, wondering if bruce had gotten them for you. it wasn't long before tony made his way into the room, you flinched when you saw him.

"sir... i'm sorry- i meant to leave-" you paused, noticing he wasn't angry.

"no, y/n you don't have to apologize. actually i'm here to apologize to you." he frowned as he saw your arm in a sling. he took the chair in the corner of the room and moved it to sit next to you.

"i am truly, deeply sorry y/n. i was a complete asshole- i have no excuse. you didn't deserve this at all. i would be delighted to have you around if you would like to keep your position here, and i promise to do better." your eyes widened at the revelation he still wanted to keep you hired.

"i would love to stay, mr. stark.. and i accept your apology. i just... need some time away.. i was late and distracted today because.." you trailed off, unsure if you wanted to tell him about your parents.

"if you don't want to tell me that is perfectly fine. i won't force you to tell me." he spoke softly, sincerety in his eyes. looking into them, you felt a sense of security you hadn't before. like you were safe with him.

"i.. had to cut off my parents this morning.. they hadn't spoken to me in months before now, and just called to ask for money.. i.. i loved them. but it was clear they thought nothing more of me than a moneygrab. so i blocked them. told them never to call again." your eyes watered, remembering the whole exchange vividly.

"oh... i'm so sorry y/n.. i know what it's like to have a rough relationship with family. feel free to take as much time away as you need- with vacation pay of course." his eyes showed bitterness at the remembrance of his father and the fact he was cold and unloving to him all the time. he smiled at you, before pointing to the flowers on the table.

"i got you these by the way, bruce said they were your favourite."

"you got them for me..? i thought bruce did... well thank you- he's right they are my favourite. did he.. talk to you?" you asked slowly, a smile coming to your face as you admired the flowers and thought about how bruce was such a good friend to you.

"i was afraid he'd let out the big guy and beat me up. he and steve really talked some sense into me." he chuckled softly. you giggled, shaking your head. bruce had always been protective of you like that.

"well, i have to get home for the night, but remember you have my full permission to take some time off to heal- in fact you have my encouragement to do so." he took your hand in his, looking into your eyes.

"thank you, for forgiving me. you've done very well here and i was afraid i'd gone too far to get you back." he admitted, sheepishly rubbing his neck with his free hand.

"what matters is you're working on making it better now. that's what's important to me. as well as this job, i'm very glad you aren't firing me, i need this job" you laughed softly.

"anyways, goodnight mr. stark." you smiled.

"goodnight, y/n."

masterlist

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Out Of Depth (But We’ll Be Okay)

Summary: Clint Barton x Fe!Reader -> You and Clint have been having an intimate relationship and it’s been hidden from the rest of the team. But, what happens when Fate throws you both a curve ball and it can no longer remain a secret?

Disclaimer: Fluff, swearing, feelings of being completely terrified of life, Sam and Bucky being idiots. Ignoring Endgame and CW. Clint has never been married or has kids in this fic. Friends/Co-workers to lovers. FwB SMUT (description is brief in the beginning, so feel free to skip), mentions of unprotected sex (be safe, wrap it up) MDNI. IF YOU CONTINUE READING THIS, YOU ARE CONSENTING TO READING 18+ THEMES. THIS IS YOUR WARNING.

Clint was good at his job. 

He had to be. He had no other choice. If he wasn’t good, that meant he was bad and that could result in one of two things. Either, he’d get fired. Or, he’d die. If he was bad at his job, he’d prefer his exit to be the former of the two options, but when it came down to it, he wouldn’t really have a choice. 

But, he was good at his job. So, it didn’t matter. 

What he wasn’t good at, however, was being a dad. Or, at least, being told he was about to become one and not freak out about it. 

You had told him three days after you had found out yourself. 

You could remember it. Being stood in your bathroom until you saw the very pink double lines appear on the centre of the stick, which made you back up until you sat on the toilet seat and placed a hand to your mouth. 

At first, you didn’t know how to react. 

You and Clint weren’t exactly…together. 

It had started just over a year ago when, after some strange happenings on missions, you found comfort in one another. It was just simple and casual. No strings. Just sex. But you were friends. And co-workers. So, you were both incredibly careful. 

But then you remembered the night in the hospital. Well, medical bay. 

10 weeks prior, you’d both been on a mission that left you more than worse for wear. Stage 4 concussion, three broken ribs, the rest severely bruised, cuts and scrapes to the rest of your body and loss of memory for the first 24 hours. 

But, on your final check-up, you were left by the doctors, alone, in your room. 

During your stay, Clint had come almost every night to sit with you. Even helped you get to and from the bathroom when the lights were too bright and your entire body felt like it had just been hit by a 1000 tonne truck. 

Other nights, when he wasn’t helping you to and from the bathroom, he’d lie with you and you’d both sit and watch some crappy old movies that Clint had managed to find. Some were better than others, but even then, you’d both fall asleep half way through. 

But, after 10 weeks, you had your final check up and Clint came to see you. 

You both talked for a while, about what was to come. What missions would be given, when you were going to be put back into the field, what he had done to Natasha to make her so mad that she came to you to ask for help in getting back at him. 

And then he sat beside you and asked how you were feeling. 

“Like I want to get out of here.” you had answered honestly. “I just want to get back to normal.”

“And your head? You took quite the hit.” Clint pushed a strand of hair from your face so he could see you more clearly. 

“The concussion has gone but I still have a small headache.”

“You know, there are ways to get rid of that.”

You smirked, already having an idea on where Clint was going with this. “So, I’ve heard.”

“Maybe I could help you out?”

“Really? How so?”

Slowly, Clint moved closer to you before you continued to lie back until he was flush against you and the mattress where he slowly kissed your neck. 

“Well, there is the usual. Yoga,” a kiss, “Sleep,” another, “some weird tea that probably tastes like nail polish remover,” another kiss. “And then there's my idea. And, it technically hits two of the three.”

“Oh, really?” you laughed as he continued to press his lips against your skin. “And what is that?”

“I think you already know, baby.”

You smiled before his lips met yours. From there, your bodies took over. Your hands came up his side before pushing their way through his hair. His knee pressed between your thighs, teasing you ever so slightly. Meanwhile, his hands gripped at your hips pulling you closer as a moan emptied itself into his mouth. 

“Let me take care of you,” you heard him tell you before his lips moved back down your neck, leaving a trail of, come by morning, love bites in their wake. 

Usually, you were both so careful. But that night…that night you just wanted each other. Needed each other, even. You let him take care of you; his fingers pressing into your skin just hard enough to make you want more, his lips and tongue leaving marks across your body that only made it yearn for more, his knee pressing against you before he replaced it with his hand, his fingers curling up inside of you. All the while, he watched you curse underneath him, swear to God, swear to anyone who would hear your cries of pleasure. He felt your hands roam his body until he finally moved himself to your core where he felt your fingers and nails run themselves down the back of his head and neck, begging him for more. 

You climaxed twice before he entered you, and even then, you came again. 

He was the only man who had done this to you. Others, they had come close, but it was never like this. Clint took his time, teasing your body in ways you didn’t know would have you begging for him to the point where you felt as if it was going to last forever. 

And afterwards, he’d take care of you then, too. He’d wipe away any wetness from you before handing you a glass of water and helping you stand despite wanting to fall asleep in his arms there and then. By the time you’d get back from the bathroom, he’d hand you a t-shirt of his that just covered you - but still, if you weren’t both so relaxed, he’d take you there and then…again. 

And you’d let him. 

But that night, rather than using any safe measurements, it all remained unprotected. Something that would only come to your mind after being sat in the bathroom for an hour and half, staring at the two very pink lines on the white stick. 

It took you three days to initially come to terms with what was about to happen. Even then, you hadn’t fully accepted it. You were pregnant with Clint’s baby. And in 9 to 10 months, that baby will be born, hopefully healthy, and soon enough would be an exact share of your and Clint’s DNA.

On the fourth day, you went in search of Clint. And, you found him in his bedroom at the compound. 

After giving your knock, he called for you to come in. 

“It’s unlocked!”

The moment you entered, you locked the door behind you. 

“Clint?”

“In here.”

Tony had created a connecting room for him to practise against targets so when you entered he had his arrow drawn and released it on bullseye. 

“Hey,”

“Hey.”

“We need to talk.”

“I’m all ears.” 

You nodded. Mostly, his focus was on the targets so at least that made it easier not having to look him in the eye. 

“Okay, I’ll just get to it,” you took a breath, clasping your hands together. “I’m pregnant.”

The arrow that Clint had drawn and intended to go through bullseye once more…landed in the wall. 

“You’re…”

“Pregnant,” you nodded. “9 weeks, I think, at least.”

“When did…”

“Three days ago. I know, I’m freaking out, too.”

Clint looked back to the targets, not knowing where else to look. 

“I just thought you should know.”

Clint nodded before backing up and sitting down on one of the chairs beside the wall. 

“You’re pregnant?”

You nodded. “Yep.”

“And I’m gonna be…”

“Yep.”

“Huh.”

You moved to sit beside him. “I know. Believe me, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole thing.”

“Does anyone else know?”

You shook your head. “No.”

“You’re really pregnant?”

Sighing, you lifted your hips from the chair to pull the fresh pregnancy test from your back pocket. “Pretty positive.”

You handed him the test where he let out a small gasp, covering his mouth as he looked down at the two pink lines. 

“Look, I don’t know what I’m doing.” you said. “And…if you don’t want to be involved, I’ll figure it out. But, I want you. I want you to be involved.”

“No, no, no,” Clint cut you off. Despite the fact he was in complete shock, something he was certain of was…”I wanna…I wanna be involved. If we’re in this, we’re in this together.”

You nodded after a moment. It was nice to have some support and know you’re not alone in your fear. 

Clint soon looked back to the stick before reaching over and taking your hand in his. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

You could see a small smile growing on his face, which mirrored itself on yours. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

A small laugh came from Clint’s lips before he pulled you closer into a hug, the pair of you looking at the double lines before he turned and looked to your stomach. You weren’t showing yet, but you would be soon. 

Gently, Clint lay his hand over your stomach before you placed both of your hands over his. 

“We can do this, right?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

You smiled. “Okay.”

It took a while to figure out how to tell people since they didn’t know you and Clint were together in the first place. But, one morning when Sam had woken up and found you in the kitchen, reading, whilst Clint cooked breakfast, he offered you a cup of coffee. 

Usually, you’d never turn one down. And always had it at full strength. 

Only, for the last couple of weeks, Sam hadn’t seen you with a coffee or even a beer on a Friday night. He also hadn’t seen you in the sparring ring for a while. Typically, you’d usually be against him or Clint and within seconds, you had them on the ground. That was a tactic neither of them could figure out. 

“Are you on a cleanse or something?”

“Why?” 

Clint looked over his shoulder to you, only to see your eyes focused on Sam. 

“Because you haven’t been drinking coffee or any kind of alcohol or caffeine.” Sam said before letting out a chuckle to himself as he poured himself a coffee. “Either that or you’re pregnant.”

Silence settled over the room and the moment you and Clint locked eyes, having a telepathic 

conversation between one another…Sam noticed. 

Confusion was the first thing he felt. Why on earth would you and Clint look at one another like you had a secret? 

“What? What is it?”

Clint tilted his head quickly. It was up to you. 

You nodded and turned back to Sam. 

“Actually…”

Sam put his coffee down and stepped back. “Wait, you’re…?”

“Pregnant.”

“Holy- Oh my - Holy shit.” Sam broke out in a smile before rounding the kitchen island and hugging you. “Holy shit, you’re actually- wow. Wait, who’s the-”

Then when Clint came behind you, laying a plate of food in front of you, and you looked at him, Sam took another step back. “Oh my God.”

“No-one else knows so, please, can you keep this to yourself for now?” You asked. “We’re still trying to figure out how to tell people.”

“I didn’t even know you two were, like, a thing.”

“Technically, we weren’t.”

“But you’re having a kid together?”

You nodded. “But, please, Sam, keep this to yourself for now.”

“Keep what to himself?” Bucky entered the kitchen. 

“Nothing.” Sam answered walking back to his coffee. 

Bucky, with narrowed eyes, made his way around the kitchen. His eyes barely left Sam. “Oh, come on, you can’t keep a secret to save your life.”

“I can.”

“Not with me. Took you all of five minutes to tell me that Jessica from accounting is having twins.” Bucky said before he saw a bead of sweat drip down the back of Sam’s neck as his eyes widened for a split second before looking at you. “Oh, my God. You’re pregnant.”

“How did you-”

“Told you. He can’t keep a secret from me. Also, you haven’t drunk a single ounce of coffee in, like, four weeks. So, it’s either that or you’re on a cleanse. And you would never give up coffee voluntarily.”

“Well, if you know everything, Einstein,” Sam turned to Bucky. “Who’s the dad?”

“Barton.”

You dropped your fork, finishing your mouthful before looking to Bucky with the expression of Oh, for God’s sake. How? Meanwhile, Sam seemed slightly offended and confused at the fact Bucky seemed to have the whole thing figured out. 

“What? She’s wearing his shirt.” 

You looked down and realised it was true. How had you not even noticed?

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. But, you should tell people soon or else they’re gonna figure it out. Also, you might want to add more ginger to your meals.” Bucky added. “It’ll help with the morning sickness.”

“How the hell do you know all of this?” 

Bucky shrugged, sipping his own coffee. “I had to help a woman give birth in a small town in Germany. When I came back, I figured it was more likely to happen so I read a couple books. I can lend them to you, if you want.”

It was safe to say you, Clint and Sam were more confused over Bucky’s hidden history as a midwife than your and Clint’s relationship and baby. 

“So, when’s your first scan?”

“Okay, this conversation’s too weird for me. Can we please change the subject?”

“Can we see the pictures when you do?” Sam asked. “I wanna see a picture of my nephew or niece. I call ‘favourite uncle’.”

“Who says you get it?” 

“I do.” Sam told Bucky. “We all know Nat’s gonna have first dibs at Aunt. I call Uncle.”

“What about me? Or Steve?”

“Steve’s everyone’s Grandpa. He gets that title.”

Whilst the two idiots in front of you argued over the title of ‘favourite uncle’ before eventually coming to the decision that the kid will decide, Clint had come behind you, taking your empty plate from you. 

“What do you say we make a run for it? Someone will find them and ask them what they’re arguing about. Let them tell the rest of the team.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Slipping yourself from the stand, you felt Clint take your hand in his before you both made a run for it out of the kitchen, down the hall and into Clint’s bedroom. 

Miraculously, you both managed to shower and get dressed, packing a small bag before making a run for it and not being stopped or called by anyone. 

Clint drove you both out of town for a couple of hours to a small town clinic. They were small enough to know that they were away from Shield’s radar as well as the Avengers. And, with barely any people in the waiting room, there were no people trying to report news over why you and Hawkeye were in a maternity ward. 

The doctor called your name and you and Clint headed inside where you lay on the bed and began asking questions about your health and when you think you got pregnant before covering the lower half of your stomach in cold gel and began the ultrasound. 

“One thing I will say is that you have to be careful. I understand the professions you two are in, but where you can, rest. Try not to lift anything heavy over your head as it can strain your lower back,” the doctor gave you both some more advice before they moved to find the baby’s heartbeat. 

“See this, right here?” you and Clint looked at the monitor. “That’s your baby and this…” a small galloping sound from the speakers. “is your baby’s heartbeat.”

As one hand lay below your head, your other was in Clint’s hand. Swiftly, he brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckle as you both watched the monitor and listened to the sound of your baby’s heartbeat. 

“Oh, my God.” It brought tears to both of your eyes. 

“I’ll get you some pictures printed off.”

“Thank you, Doc.”

“Clint,” his eyes didn’t leave the monitor until you looked at him. “That’s our baby.”

“That’s our baby.” Clint smiled back before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to your lips before laying his arm around you, both of you looking at the monitor. 

The doctor handed you some paper towels to wipe the gel from your stomach before leaving the room for a moment to grab a couple of information pamphlets and other small things that would help you and Clint on your journey. 

By the time you got back into the car, you and Clint simply looked at the photos you had been given. From the pile, Clint tore one away and placed it in his sun visor.

The rest of the day, you and Clint drove around the small town, taking in a couple of the sights, eating at their ‘Number One Diner’ before hitting a couple of smaller stores, buying a couple of baby things. Thankfully, anyone that you ran into didn’t seem to have a clue who you or Clint were. Either that, or they simply didn’t care. That made it a lot easier to buy baby clothes and books. 

And, by the time the sun was setting over the horizon, you and Clint sat on the hood of his car, your laps covered by a checked blanket and a soda in your lap, Clint’s phone rang. 

“Who is it?”

“Nat.”

The moment Clint answered, Natasha was already speaking. 

“You’re having a baby and you left the members of Sesame Street to tell me?”

Clint turned to you, “They’ve blabbed.”

“Wow. Took longer than I thought.” You said, looking at your watch. 

“Is she with you?” Natasha asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Good, tell her I’m mad at her, too.” 

“Nat said she’s mad at you.”

“She’s mad at you, too.”

“Guess we’re gonna have to find someone else to be this kid’s favourite Aunt.”

“Whoa, hey-”

“Guess we could ask Wanda?” you suggested. “Or maybe your Rookie?”

“Kate? Really?” Clint asked. “She is the closest in age to the kid. What about-”

“Hey, hey! Do not give my title away! I did not fight to save your life to have my title of favourite Aunt thrown to some Rookie.”

“You like Kate.”

“Besides the point.” Natasha brushed off. “That title stays with me.”

“What do you think? Should we let her?”

“Is she still mad at us?”

“I don’t think she can be if we give her the title.”

“Okay then,” you smiled before taking a sip of your soda. “You only get the title if you’re not mad at us.”

“Fine, hold on a sec,” in the background you heard Nat shout for Steve. “Rogers, be mad at Barton for me.”

“He threatened to take away your title?” you and Clint heard Steve laugh before the phone was passed to him. 

“Maybe.”

“Hey Clint.” Steve said. “Congrats, man. We’re all really happy for the two of you.”

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

“Just a word of warning, though.” Steve began. “Tony’s already started clearing a space out in the compound for a nursery so if you two thought you’d be moving out, I don’t think Tony will let you leave.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“What is it?” you asked Clint. 

“You know how we talked about finding a house?” you nodded. “That’s not gonna happen.”

“Tony?”

“Yep.”

You smiled with a small chuckle. “Figures.”

Steve hung up soon after that, leaving you and Clint in your own little world for a while to watch the stars and moon settle over the land.

Over the next couple of weeks, time was spent between telling Shield and HR about what was going on and getting ready for what was to come. Hill gave you both a grilling but, off the record, she was happy for the both of you. Fury had done the same thing, fully expecting an invite to the baby shower. You had also been assigned to desk duty and advising from over Skype. 

Clint could see you were getting agitated so he pulled a couple strings to get you into teaching the new recruits. It wouldn’t be a job that would put you into danger and it would keep you busy just enough for you not to be completely bored. 

The nights you spent by Clint’s side. Each night you’d both ready a couple of the parenting books you’d bought from the small town outside the city or what Bucky had gifted. 

Neither of you had really talked about what your status was together. The nurses at the hospital had referred to Clint as your husband, something neither of you had corrected. Not that you had noticed initially. 

Even the team had questioned it at certain points, but never when you were together. 

So, as you sat beside one another, reading over the books that spoke about ‘mom’ and ‘dad’, Clint turned to you. 

“What are we?”

“I don’t know.”

“Me either.”

“Are we even meant to be something?”

“Well, we’re co-parents, right?”

“Yeah.”

A silence settled over you both for a moment before you placed a hand on your belly and spoke before looking at Clint. “We can do this, right? Be parents together?”

“Of course we can.”

“Then why do I feel so out of my depth?” you asked. 

Clint sat up, pulling you with him. “Hey, look at me. We can do this.”

“What if we screw up, Clint?”

Wiping away the small tears from your eyes, Clint gave you a smile. “Then it means we’re parents. They all screw up, right? But, if we can’t do something, we’ll just send the kid to one of their aunts or uncles. This kid has got a big family. At least we can give the jobs of Birds and the Bees to someone else.”

You laughed. “Like Nat?”

“I love her, but probably not.”

You laughed again, wiping away the tears from your eyes, your emotions coming back into check. “Yeah, probably not. We should keep Bucky off that list, too.”

“Agreed.” Clint nodded. “What about Pepper?”

“We should probably tag team her with someone. She’s a strong woman but this kid is half you, half me. If it’s not awkward to begin with, it will be eventually.”

“That’s true.”

You and Clint shared a laugh as he took your hands in his, keeping his eyes on you before he moved closer and kissed your lips. He brushed the hair from your face, your hand coming to his wrist. For a moment, he thought you were about to push him away, but instead you brought him closer. 

The months passed with pain and pleasure. 

The further you got into your pregnancy, the more the nights became restless and the pain spread across your body. However, the only thing that seemed to remain pleasurable was being able to make a start on the nursery and the fact that your morning sickness had worn off. But also, having Clint by your side, knowing you weren’t alone in your fear or excitement…that made it all a little easier. 

Natasha, with the aid of Bucky and Sam - who she sent on errands to keep them out of her way - planned the baby shower where you and Clint found out the gender of your baby and learned that Fury, Clint, Sam (by default as he and Bucky flipped a coin for which gender they guessed), Wanda and Yelena were the only ones to guess correctly. 

A baby girl. 

The moment the pink powder released from the target as Clint shot a single arrow to its centre, everyone erupted in cheers and shouts of enjoyment. 

Yelena and Sam rubbed their success in Kate and Bucky’s face, respectfully, whilst Hill handed Fury 20 bucks and Clint came to find you, hugging you tightly from behind and you looked with joy to the pink powder. 

“We’re having a girl.”

“We’re having a girl,” you confirmed with a smile. 

Eventually, your due date came…and passed. 

You were already on maternity leave, so your days passed slower than usual. Clint would come in and check on you at lunch and on his breaks. 

Your days were spent in uncomfortable pain, watching crappy movies and tv shows. Sometimes, someone from the team would come and sit with you and Sam and Bucky had taken a liking to Bake Off - it led to them sitting in the kitchen, baking sweet treats for you to try until you declared a winner. 

But, one afternoon, sitting outside with a book resting on your pregnant belly, watching the trainees run their drills on the ground, Steve came and joined you outside. 

“How are you doing, Momma?” 

You smiled as Steve stepped from the sliding door and sat at the end of where your feet were propped up on the sofa. 

“Eh,”

“That bad?”

You sighed, sitting up a little higher. “I love this kid, but I just want her out already. Come out, please.”

Steve chuckled as you held your belly and yelled in the hopes she’d hear you. 

She just kicked back. 

“As stubborn as her dad.”

“She’ll be here soon,” Steve smiled. “And you and Clint will have your hands full.”

“Can’t wait.” you said. “I like being busy. This,” you motioned around you, “I don’t like it.”

You and Steve sat and chatted for a while longer, mostly about the missions coming up and the books you had been reading. He’d leant you a couple which you had managed to finish in four days. 

But then…

You hissed in pain, holding your belly. 

“Whoa, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, just uncomfortable.”

Then the pain came again. “Ow, okay, no. That hurt. Ow!”

Steve sat up quickly, helping you as carefully as he could. “Come on, you need to get to the hospital.”

“I guess she heard me.” 

Steve laughed, and so did you - which only brought some more pain. 

“Clint, I need to call him.”

“I’ll call him on the way to the hospital.”

“He’s on the other side of town-”

Steve helped you inside, “He’ll get there. I promise.”

Then Bucky and Sam came around the corner. “Hey, are you okay?”

“She’s going into labour. Do you know where Clint put your hospital bag?”

“Bedroom, under the bed.” you told Steve who then gave the instructions to Sam and Bucky. 

“I’ll get the bag,” Sam shouted, running right before Bucky ran left. 

“I’ll bring the car around.”

“Steve, I’m scared.”

“I know, but you’re gonna be okay.”

Steve gave you a kind smile that reassured you of his promise. 

By the time you got downstairs, Sam and Bucky were rushing around like two headless chickens. Bucky hopped out of the driver’s seat and ran to the otherside, pulling the door open. Steve helped you inside before taking the keys from Bucky. 

“One of you needs to go and pick Clint up. Buck, take the bike.”

“On it.”

“Sam, go and find Natasha.” Steve commanded. “Let her and the others know what’s happening.”

“Steve!” 

“Okay, go.”

Steve jumped into the driver's seat before pulling out of the driveway and towards the hospital. On the way, he pressed a couple of buttons on the monitor inside the car, calling Clint. 

“Clint, listen to me, Bucky’s on his way to you.” Steve explained. 

“Is everything okay?”

“I’m going into labour! Ow, crap.”

“Oh, shit.”

“We’re on our way to the hospital now, just meet us there.”

“Okay,”

In the background, you heard the roaring of Bucky’s motorbike. He had to have driven through multiple red lights. 

“He’s here now. Honey? It’s gonna be okay.”

“Just get here, please. I’m not doing this without you. Argh, fuck.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Clint!” Bucky shouted. 

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you replied. “Just get here.”

“Clint we’re pulling in now,”

“Okay, I’m on my way.”

“Barton!”

As you were rolled into the labour suite, Steve kept watch for Clint before he came barrelling around the corner, not fully aware of where he was going. 

“Barton!”

Clint followed Steve’s voice in a circle until he finally spotted him and ran down the hall to your room. 

“How is she? Is she okay? Is the baby okay? What did the nurses say? Is everything-”

Steve took Clint by his shoulders. “Everything’s okay. They’ve just broken her waters so she’ll be giving birth soon enough. I’ll keep the others out here.”

“Thanks, and thank you, Steve.”

“No need,” Steve smiled. “Now go to her.”

Clint gave a final smile before entering the room and rushing over to you. And you couldn’t have held him tighter. 

“I’m scared, Clint.” you told him as the midwife came in and told you you were ready to give birth. 

“I know, baby. So am I, but you’ve got this, okay? Hey, look at me.” you looked at him as he held onto your hand. “You’ve got this. I love you,”

“I love you, too.”

It was only now that you realised today, of all days, was the first time you’d both told one another the truth of your feelings towards each other. 

Clint pressed a kiss to your lips. “Stay with me?”

He nodded. “Always.”

“Okay, dad, help her up.” the midwife called your name. “When I tell you to push, give me all the strength you can muster, okay?”

You hummed nervously. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you wanted her to stay inside, for a little while longer. 

Clint held your hand the whole way through, pushing the stray hairs from your face and holding his arm across your back for support as you pushed and pushed and pushed until finally a cry rang out throughout the room. 

“You did it, mom. A beautiful baby girl.”

“You hear that?” Clint looked at you, smiling as he pushed the last couple of hairs from your face. “You did it, momma. She’s here.”

“She’s here? Is she okay?”

Clint looked over to the nurses and midwives measuring, cleaning and weighing your baby girl. “Yeah, yeah. They’re just cleaning her off.”

Clint had tears in his eyes as he looked back at you, pressing a kiss to your head and your lips. “You did it.”

Moments later, you were handed your baby girl wrapped in the blanket you and Clint had bought her all the way back when you had your first scan. 

Feeling her skin against yours, you felt your heart explode. 

Clint didn’t leave either of your sides once, looking down to his baby girl and the love of his life. 

“I love you, and I love her.”

“She’s so small.” 

A few hours later, you and Clint were sitting in a clean hospital bed, your baby girl in his arms as she slept. 

Wanda was the first to enter, Sam and Kate quickly followed behind before Bucky, Natasha and Steve followed suit. 

“Hey, can we come in?”

“Yeah, come on in, guys.”

“Hey, honey, how you feeling?” Wanda asked you, walking over. 

“Tired.”

“Can I see her?”

Clint carefully handed your daughter over to Wanda where Sam and Bucky stood around her. “She’s beautiful.” was the main repeated comment between the three of them. “And strong, too.”

“She gets that from her mom,” Clint smiled at you before looking towards Kate. 

“I brought you a couple things,” Kate told both you and Clint. “Figured everyone will be thinking about the baby, they’ll forget about you - and you’d probably forget about yourselves. So, your usual from Benny’s.” You praised Kate as a saint as she handed you the familiar paper bag. “Plus, a bag filled with every post-birth thing you could possibly need. Wendy has a Nurse-friend who has had, like, a gazillion kids, so she knows all the tricks of the trade.”

You smiled, hugging Kate. “Thank you.”

“Oh, and, Clint,” Kate handed him. “This is more for the baby, but I figured you could hold onto it for her until she grows up.”

Inside was a kid’s bow and arrow with an old, small carving in the top. 

K.B

And then underneath it, 

E.B

“Figured it should be passed down to the next generation of Hawkeyes,” 

Clint tried his best to keep his emotions in check as he smiled at the meaning of this gift. 

The bow and arrow that had once belonged to Kate now belonged to his daughter and when she was old enough, she could learn to shoot just like her dad. 

“Thank you, Kate. Really. This means…a lot.”

You rubbed your hand over his forearm before taking his hand in yours. 

After an hour, and lots of pictures, everyone else headed home and you and Clint were left with you baby girl, fast asleep in the hospital cot. 

“Our very own baby Hawkeye.” you smiled, leaning on Clint’s chest as his hand rested on the side of the cot, his eyes only leaving his daughter to look at you. 

“I never thought I could be this scared and happy at the same time.”

“Ditto.”

“We can do this, right?” Clint asked you. 

“She’s here now, we don’t have much of a choice.”

Clint chuckled and looked back at his daughter. “True. God, I can’t believe she’s here.”

“I know,” you smiled. 

Clint kissed the top of your head, holding you closer before looking at you. “I love you.”

You looked up to him and nodded. “I love you, too.”

Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips before leaning his head against yours. 

“I know this is nearly 2 years, too late, but…do you want to get dinner with me tomorrow?”

You chuckled, smiling. “I’d love to.”

“Great, I’ll meet you here, 6 o’clock, Benny’s included? I’ll be the one sitting beside you.” 

Laying your arm over his stomach and leaning in closer, still smiling, you replied; “I can’t wait.”

Smiling, you could hear the thrill come from Clint’s heart inside his chest before he placed another kiss on your head and you both kept your eyes on your daughter. 

Your baby Hawkeye, Evelyn Natasha Barton.

[literaryavenger]

Obsessed

Summary: Your crush on Bucky may be getting out of control.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Warnings: Dramatic Reader. Language. Angst. Fluff. My poor attempts at being Funny.

Word Count: 1.4K I'm physically incapable of making anything short.

A/N: I wrote this in like 2 hours and I don't even know what this is, just... Yeah.

Masterlist

This is terrible.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone. It's just the most horrible, dreadful, awful thing that could’ve ever happen to yo-

“Would you stop staring at him for fuck's sakes!” Natasha's hissed words make your eyes snap to her and finally away from the metal armed Supersoldier lifting weights. Shirtless.

You don't know when Bucky stopped feeling self-conscious enough to allow him to workout in nothing but a pair of gym shorts, but it has become literal torture for you.

Needless to say, Bucky's current level of undress is making it impossible for you to concentrate on the stretching you're supposed to be doing before your sparring match with Natasha.

But your very thoughtful and not at all exasperated friend makes sure to keep your attention on her during the entirety of our match by thoroughly kicking your ass.

What a lovely best friend you have.

Anyways.

Your entire mood shifts with one not intentionally overheard conversation. Steve enters the gym and goes straight to Bucky, who was putting his weight set down.

“She’s here!” Is all the blonde says to his friend and your heart stops at the way Bucky’s face lights up with a smile, not needing any more information before following Steve out of the gym.

She’s here? Who the fuck is she? Does Bucky have a girlfriend? And most importantly, she’s here? In the Compound?

Natasha can almost see the gears turning in your brain as you make no attempts to move from the mat after she knocked you on your ass for the hundredth time today. You didn’t even seem to notice her hand offering you help to get up, your eyes still looking where Bucky was just a moment ago, staring at nothing in particular while your brain drowns in your overthinking.

Natasha sighs and decides to end the match here, kneeling down in front of you and placing her hands on your shoulders, shaking you gently to snap you out of it.

“Don’t overthink this.” She tells you when she’s sure she has your attention. “It’s probably just a friend visiting.” She tries to comfort you, but you both know that’s highly unlikely. 

Bucky has no other friends outside the team. He doesn’t know how to talk to civilians anymore after everything he’s been through, and gave up trying to after the hundredth time he saw fear in a person’s eyes just by recognizing him. So his friend circle now includes the team and the agents of SHIELD that are not intimidated by him. Point is, every friend he has already lives in the Compound.

So who the fuck is here just to see him? 

Natasha can see that this is a lost battle, your eyes barely concentrating on her as you start drowning in your mind again. All she can do when you’re like this is try to distract you and keep you out of your head. So she takes your hand and helps you up, leading the way to the common room to watch one of your beloved romcoms together, because that’s how much she loves you.

Big mistake.

“Y/N! Y/N!” The excited high-pitched voice came just seconds after you set foot in the common room. And that’s about the only warning you got before the excited 5-year-old jumped on you, your reflexes thankfully quick enough to catch her.

“Hi, Maguna!” You say while chuckling as the little girl hugs you. “You seem excited today. Did you get into the sugar cabinet again?”

Morgan giggles at your joke and shakes her hand before taking your face in her little hands and dramatically saying, “No! A princess came to visit uncle Bucky! A real princess.”

You frown, confused at what she’s talking about, before you look around the room and finally notice everyone else in it. Pepper and Tony are on the couch, looking at you lovingly as you interact with their daughter.

You love Morgan, she’s like a little sister. You never miss an opportunity to babysit her and you spend as much time with her as you can. She also loves you, out of all the Avengers you’re her favorite, much to everyone’s dismay. She calls them all ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’, but you’re just Y/N. You’re her big sister, you don’t need a title. Which is why you're the only one other than Tony allowed to call her 'Maguna'.

Then you notice the other people in the room: Steve, Bucky and… Shuri. The fucking Princess of Wakanda, standing in the common room of the Avengers Compound and just smiling at you as you carry Morgan.

You’ve never met Shuri, but you know she played an important part in deprogramming the Winter Soldier out of Bucky, and you’re grateful to her for it. She’s important to Bucky, and you can’t believe you forgot Bucky has Wakandan friends.

You put Morgan down on the ground again and the little girl takes your hand and aggressively steers you towards where Steve, Bucky and Shuri are standing, clearly thrilled to be in the presence of a real life princess.

“Hi, I’m Shuri.” She offers you her hand when you get close enough and you shake it with your free hand while introducing yourself.

There’s a bit of an awkward pause and you’re about to say the first thing that pops into your head when Morgan thankfully saves you by pulling on your hand, making you look at her. She tells you to come close and, chuckling, you kneel beside her so she can whisper conspiratorially in your ear.

“She’s a princess and she’s really pretty, but I still like you better.” She whispers and you can’t help but laugh.

God, you love this little girl.

You smile brightly at her and launch a tickle attack, her adorable giggles filling the room as everyone looks at you two with warm smiles.

Your attention is solely on Morgan, until you unintentionally hear the whispered conversation between Shuri and Bucky.

“So, this is the girl, huh? She’s pretty.” Shuri says and your heart skips a beat. 

You glance at them as discreetly as you can while still tickling Morgan, only to find Bucky looking at someone behind you. You turn around less carefully and see Sharon just entered the room, and she's also looking at Bucky with a smirk. You quickly return your attention to Morgan, but your mind is going a thousand miles a minute.

Of course he’d like someone more like Sharon. She’s pretty, she’s talented, she’s a total badass and she’s not afraid to go after what she wants.

She’s not a mass of anxiety in the shape of a woman that overthinks everything and becomes a flustered mess every time she’s even near Bucky.

It’s time to admit it to yourself: Bucky just doesn’t see you like that and you need to move on. 

Natasha is right, your obsession with Bucky needs to end.

What you don’t see is Bucky almost glaring at Sharon because he knows damn well why she’s smirking. She came in just before Shuri whispered to Bucky, when he was very intent on looking at you with heart eyes as you played with Morgan.

Just before you looked at him, Bucky noticed Sharon and he had to hold in a groan at her because he knows that she’s never gonna let him live this down.

Both Sharon and Steve have tried really hard to convince Bucky that you like him back and he should make a move on you. But Bucky, being as stubborn as they come, never believes them.

He obviously makes you uncomfortable, you’re always stuttering when he’s around and you avoid eye contact whenever possible. He’s just glad that you can stand his presence enough for the two of you to work together when necessary and to hang out with the rest of the team without problems.

So he just enjoys looking at you from a distance. He loves watching you play with Morgan and his thoughts always run wild with images of you playing like that with kids that are yours and his.

But he knows that’s never going to happen. Why would you like a damaged, PTSD ridden soldier that can’t even make it through the night without waking up from a nightmare? No, that’s definitely not your type.

Bucky accepts the truth: He doesn’t deserve you and you don’t see him like that anyways. 

It doesn’t matter that Sam thinks he’s obsessed, that won’t stop him from looking at you whenever he’s lucky enough to get a glimpse of his little ray of sunshine.

Requested taglist: @vicmc624 @matchat3a @nerd-without-a-cause @sapphirebarnes @cjand10 @mostlymarvelgirl @julvrs @blackhawkfanatic @lillianacristina @armystay89 @imdoingbetternow @spookyparadisesheep @elizalexwil @aceofhearts25 @dontworryboutitsweetheartxx-blog @justab-eautifulmess @buggy14 @thedonswife13

[stellar-solar-flare]

Sunday WIP Update - 29th of September

I'm thinking about making this a thing, for my own accountability mostly, but also to update anyone who might be interested! I'm only listing those for which I can give somewhat of a timeline but of course, everything is subject to change.

LONGFICS:

The next chapter of Brilliant Steel (AO3) is in beta reading and will be out over the next following days.

The next chapter of Astronomical Odds (AO3) is on the home stretch and ideally out the upcoming week.

The next and final chapter of A Fairytale Of A Disaster has been drafted and should be out next week the latest.

The next chapter of For Centuries (AO3) is about halfway done. I would love to finish it next weekend but we shall see.

A mob AU Steve x Reader with soulmate dynamics I shall be unveiling once Fairytale is finished... A few parts, maybe five? (I can hear @anika-ann laughing at me and my delusions of ever writing anything short.) A gift to @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

ONESHOTS I'M CURRENTLY WORKING ON: All titles are working titles. Any links lead to posts that have more info.

Duty - Avenger!Steve x princess!Reader, arranged marriage with a HEA, a late submission for Café Writing Challenge.

Bewitched - Steve x wife!witch!Reader, fluffy smut with feelings in her research library, with him fresh home from a mission... (Yes, we're talking still-suited-up fresh.) A late entry for @mercurial-chuckles Smutty September Fest.

Iron Charm - Tony x fae!Avenger!Reader, forced proximity leading to the two of them finally talking things through and maybe some dam-breaking too... A gift to @darsynia.

Dermatoglyphics - Steve x soulmate!Reader, meet-cute turned love-at-the-first-sight turned very loving filth. Set in a world where you have your soulmate's fingerprints at the site of their first touch. My entry to @steviebbboi's 200 followers celebration (Praise kink + "Just stay still, there you go." + "Good girl" + breeding kink (non-pregnancy version) + possessive/or protective manhandling!BB.)

I also have some oneshot prompts in my inbox I'm looking forward to getting to after these ones are done. Thank you for your patience.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

Q: Does your muse have any attention span at all? A: No.

[romanoffsbish]

Mom, Dad, I’m…

Wanda Maximoff x R

Blackhill ; Bishova ; Stony ; BuckySam

Happy Pride Angels, 🌈❤️

Warnings: Attempts at Humor. Heteros.

"Detka, can you go get some tomatoes from the garden? Steve already ate all of the freaking salsa," Wanda grumbled dramatically, falling into your arms as you were mid conversation with Natasha and Maria about their work.

"He probably intended to bottom tonight," Natasha remarks with a shit stirring grin, you cackled in solidarity, but the both of you stopped when your wives stood shoulder to shoulder with a menacing tilt to their heads.

——

"Welp, those tomatoes aren't gonna pick themselves," you noted before running off, you avoided looking back, afraid to see Natasha's stony glare as you abandoned her with them.

Every man for themselves a mantra you live by, well, only when it comes to angry spouses. As an Avenger you were as selfless as the rest, but now you got to be more selfish in retirement.

Natasha, unfortunately, was your victim.

When you entered the massive greenhouse you took a second to admire your wives handiwork. The brunette had a knack for gardening, a green thumb if you will. The greenhouse was her go to place to find her zen after a day of dealing with you, Billy, Tommy, and Ella.

The witch loved you all, her beautiful family, but some days the lot of you made her feel a tad bit homicidal. On those days she gardened.

It wasn't hard to find the tomatoes, they were ripe and ready on a set of entangled vines. But before you could bring it to her, you were too enamored by the conversation your kids were having in their little cove behind the garden.

"I can't do it," Tommy groaned. "Yeah they just won't understand," Morgan Stark agreed with him, and you leaned in to hopefully garner more context for their troubled minds.

"At least Uncle Tony is bi," Raina Belova countered, "He'll be more understanding."

"Have you met our dad?" Anthony, the only Jr present, said in an incredulous manner. "He even claims Fido is gay, he's totally unhinged."

You had to put a hand over your mouth, the amusement you were experiencing was unreal.

"Couldn't be us," Elena teased, "I'm gay as hell, and Bryce here is both queer and nonbinary."

Oh goodness... Never in your days did you expect your kids to keep secrets from you, but for it to be such a silly one it honestly made you want to interrupt the conversation at hand.

To remind them that no matter what, you'd all continue to love them, but it was too funny.

"Mama is going to be mad," Celeste Belova added, "She always said being gay is the way."

"I thought she was ace?" Billy inquired. "She is, but that doesn't make her any less gay."

After the conversation moved on to who they were crushing on you snuck back to the party. The overall consensus being that every last one of your collective brood, besides your youngest, Ella, who was only five, and Natasha and Maria's powerful duo, said they're straight.

"Where have you been?" You ignored your wife, handing her the basket of ingredients while calling all of your friends to the dining room. Tony whined, "What is so important?"

"You guys will not believe what I just heard..."

Wanda rolled her eyes as you spun your tale, she chopped up the tomatoes, jalapeños and onions as you enamored the group of friends.

"Thank God we're safe," Maria teased, turning to her wife with a genuinely relieved smile. "Right? Can you imagine having to attend two straight weddings? And pretend to like it?"

"Oh jeez," you gasped, "I didn't think of that."

Wanda tossed the ingredients into a bowl as the lot of you bantered back and forth, her patience already running thin with you all.

"Y/N, this joke isn't funny." Yelena shook her head in defiance when you reminded her that this wasn't a joke. "You don't know what you are talking about. Must be hearing loss..."

Kate put a hand on her wife's shoulder, "It's true Lena, they've both told me already."

"You traitor!" Yelena ripped her arm away as if the raven haired woman had burned her skin.

You now worried that you'd inspired divorces.

"No," Tony gasped, shaking his head in fear as the unexpected reality set in. "You're lying, you have to be. No son of mine is straight!"

"Honey," Steve called out for him, "It'll be okay, we always knew it would be a possibility."

"It most certainly is not okay," he grimaced, then in a flash he was outside, calling for your children to gather around the hibachi station.

"Where's the fire pops?" Morgan jests, but quickly zips her lips as she sees her dad looking as if he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Tell me Y/N's lying," he pleads, "That you're not straight, my fragile ticker can't take this."

"Tony!" Steve shrieked, "Don't use an old ailment to guilt the kids into being gay..."

"Stay out of this babe!" He growled, "As far as I am concerned they're gay. Y/N's a liar."

"Am not!" You gasped, "They're all heteros."

"Not us!" Bryce interjected. "We're queer."

"That's our precious babies," Natasha coo'd, arms opened wide for her kids to run into, and the both of their teens instantly ran at her.

Bucky and Sam had entered your backyard just as the revelation took place. You all watched as they took three steps back, baby carrier in hand as they looked to your kids as if they were all diseased. "We're just being cautious."

You snorted softly, "We understand fellas."

Wanda glared at you, but you remained unfazed for now. Too busy finding the dramatics entertaining to see the horror. Wanda saw it though, she looked out to see all of the kids wearing terrified expressions. She was about to console them, but then a fight broke out beside you, and you had to laugh.

"This is all your fault Kate Belova!" Yelena shrieked, "It was all of that organic mac and cheese you fed them when I was on missions!"

"Mac and cheese being healthy doesn't make a child straight," Kate shrieked back, hands running down her face as she realized her plans for a peaceful barbecue ended with this.

"If it had been orange they might have been more connected to the rainbow Kate!" Yelena went on, "It's like our gay power source."

"Well, with Wanda's garden the kids eat the entire rainbow and look at them, straight."

Yelena found your assistance unwelcome, "Keep out of this Y/N Maximoff. Your kids aren't all old enough to say yet, you still have a chance! Mine are all done... Stupid preteens"

"Well, that's not exactly true," you reasoned, "None of you have been to college yet, that's when you'll really know if you're gay or not."

Natasha, Yelena and Tony all nodded, they found your reasoning the most logical. It was a lot easier than accepting they're all straight.

"Okay, that's enough!" Wanda interjected, her tone terrifying, "Look at what you're doing to them. They can't help it if they're straight."

"I wanna be gay like mama," Ella murmured, clearly she just wanted to fit in with the crowd, and therefore you praised her, "Smart girl."

Wanda entered your mind with a warning, she smirked as you lifted Ella onto your hip, then you fell into unexpected silence by her side.

"Haha, you're like so whipped, "Yelena cackled.

Wanda glared at her. "You don't scare me wiggly woo, my kids being straight is enough."

"Yelena," Kate sighed, "Knock it off, and try telling the girls that you love them."

"Of course I love them," she rushed out angrily, "That's not even a question, they're moy deti."

(My babies)

Celeste and Raina ran into the blondes side, their tears of relief soaked into her shirt, and made her see they were genuinely scared this would lose them her love. "Shh, mama loves you always, even if you make dumb choices."

Tony and Steve were in a standoff of sorts, the billionaire sipped on his margarita slowly as they appeared to be having a conversation with only their eyes. Tony rolled his, but after a moment of incoherent grumbling he nodded. Morgan and Tony Jr. approached their dads after being called forward, Steve embraced them first, and wholly. Tony gave them both side hugs, and whispered that he just needed time to cope, but he loved them regardless.

Then you heard him brush by with his son, begging him to take it back, only to find out his son was in a long term relationship with a girl. That study buddy of his was so much more...

Like father, like son you suppose.

You looked out to see your boys stood side by side, Billy gripped Tommy's hand for dear life. Wanda was about to call them over, but you beat her to it as guilt overwhelmed your heart. The boys scurried over, and Wanda sent you an adoring smile as you kissed the both of their heads, and hugged them tight. "I love you," falling from all of your lips in succession.

After everyone had time to process the news, the vibe returned to one of relaxation. Wanda set up the grill for Sam, and the master chef himself began to put on a show for everyone.

Once the plates were served you all moved to the fire pit, where you talked about all you'd missed in each other's life while the younger kids sat in front of the projector playing Up.

Then, as the sun officially fell, everyone began to clear out. Saying their goodbyes at the front door, where you hugged each kid, an apology of sorts on your lip for the drama you stirred. Each one forgave you, some even thanked you for finally getting the conversation over with.

When everyone was officially gone you moved back outside to clean up. Tommy helped you, while Billy helped clean the kitchen so that Wanda could focus on Ella's bath, and bedtime.

It was an entire hours worth of work, you were beyond exhausted as you fell into the mattress. You nearly passed out without your wife, but soon enough Wanda slipped into the bed. She wore a thoughtful expression, weighing out whether to disturb you or not, but she soon reasoned you'd appreciate her words, "Detka..."

"Yes baby?" You rolled onto your side, using your elbow to prop yourself up so you could look down at her. She looked to you with a warm smile, then she was yawning, "Don't worry." She paused to pull you into her arms before whispering in your ear: "Billy was not being honest. We do indeed have a gay son."

You laughed so hard tears streamed down your face and pooled in the crook of your equally as amused wife's neck. That was the last thing you expected to hear from her, if anything you had anticipated a continuation of her scolding.

"I'll scold you more tomorrow," she teased, "But for now, we should get some sleep."

——

1,844 Words

[writtenfangirl]

Tomorrow

Steve Rogers Fic

I wrote this fic because Chris Evans was declared People's Magazine World's Sexiest Man and it's been a year. I can't believe I only got around to finishing it now.

Y/N’s home could only really be called a villains lair.

It’s high cavernous walls; the gothic spires that towered over the lot; the human-sized gargoyles that lined the dark roof; and the dark exterior cut an imposing figure against the backdrop of the grey sky meeting the even greyer sea. It was perched high above a cliff, carved into the very stone of the mountain.

The frigid salty wind that bellowed from the sea had rain slapping against Steve’s suit, darkening it’s blue leather. He hated the miserable weather, the dark grey sky and the pelting rain reminded Steve of memories of the war that he would rather sooner forget. 

But right now, he couldn’t care less.

His feet slapped against the gravel, taking him up to the foyer of Y/N’s home. The large oak doors of her home were slammed shut and Steve found his hands rapping against the wood. He could almost imagine the sound echoing around the cavernous house, up towards Y/N’s room.

Steve knew Y/N didn’t get many visitors and so his presence was an anomaly to her.

She had a sordid reputation after all, one that had her painted as an enemy of the Avengers.

But right now, Steve didn’t care about that.

In fact, all Steve could care about right now was Y/N.

“Y/N, open up!” He banged against the solid doors once again, his body a live wire of buzzing energy and adrenaline begging to be released.

He was met with silence.

The rain was beginning to pelt harder against his body, the wind howling in the distance.  The storm was a big one, the biggest of the year if the news was right. Worry and panic seized Steve the moment he heard, his heart thrumming loudly in his throat. Y/N didn’t live in the friendliest of environments and though he knew she would loathe Steve for caring about her, he couldn’t help it.

“Y/N!”

Still no response.

He could break down the door. She’d hate him for sure but she’d always hated him. At least this way, he knew she was okay.

“Y/N, I swear—“

“Rogers?”

Her voice had been swallowed by the wind and if it wasn’t for his exceptional hearing, Steve wouldn’t have heard her lovely voice.

The relief that seized him nearly had his knees buckling to the ground. He spun, meeting Y/N’s E/C eyes, wide with surprised and confusion. Despite the hard sleets of rain that continued to rain down, she was perfectly dry, not a strand of hair out of place. Her face was perfectly made up, her lips painted a beautiful red, rouge streaking her cheeks. She looked wonderful and alive.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Y/N didn’t sound as furious as she usually did, simply confused. As if seeing Steve standing in her front door had stunned her to silence.

Steve didn’t care. He reached for her, relieved to find her hard and solid beneath her hands and not some ghostly apparition.

“There’s a storm,” Steve panted, eyes locking to Y/N’s own E/C ones, “biggest of the year. I-I thought… I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Her eyes fluttered in surprise. “You… you wanted to see if I was okay?”

Steve nodded, unabashed. He was glad to see that she was fine and there was no hiding the relief that had him straightening.

He knew he wasn’t suppose to care about her. She was the villain and he was a hero. He was suppose to hate her, capture her right now for whatever nefarious scheme she was no doubt plotting to take down the Avengers.

But he didn’t care about that right now.

He didn’t care about their roles and he certainly didn’t care about what his teammates would say or what other people would say. Right now, all he cared about was her.

Y/N seemed to hesitate before she pushed past him and opened her heavy front door as easily as if it was made of plastic.

A roaring fire was raging in the hearth of her living room, the smell of cookies baking in the oven like an invitation to Steve, begging him to enter through the threshold. 

“Why don’t you come in?” Y/N said softly, waiting by the opened door. “Maybe wait for the storm to settle before you leave?”

Steve looked down at his sodden clothes, at the fat drops of water that dripped to the floor. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I might ruin your furniture.”

Y/N stretched out her hand towards him, her fingers hovering above his face. A strange warm sensation enveloped Steve, like a blanket had suddenly been wrapped around his shoulders. Steve looked down, his clothes suddenly dried. His hair, that was once plastered on his forehead, was now dry and fluffy and not a drop of water splashed on his shoes. In fact, even the puddle that had steadily gathered around his feet had been wiped cleaned, lightening the once dark wood. Magic was strange but there was no denying its benefits.

“Come on in.” Y/N stepped aside, her face impassive.

Despite racing here upon learning of the raging storm, Steve hesitated now. He’d never been inside of Y/N’s home and though their relationship was more or less antagonistic, it felt strange to have her invite him to her sanctuary. He felt like an intruder, rifling through Y/N’s innermost secrets in the hope of gleaning information to use against her in their next confrontation.

Thunder rumbled loudly above their heads followed by a flash of lightning that briefly illuminated Y/N’s features. She was peering at him through her lashes, her lips pursed as if she herself was unsure she should let Steve in. He wondered if she’d turn him away now.

Instead, she further leaned into the door, opening the entrance even wider. “I don’t bite. Well, I don’t bite hard. So come on in before I magic you into a deep sleep and you can have Stark kiss you awake.”

The smell of cookies continued to waft through the opened door and that was enough to convince Steve to get in.

He felt warm almost immediately, the chill that had previously gripped him suddenly chased away by the magic in the atmosphere. The smell of melted butter further saturated his nose, the warm fire raging in the living room permanently removing the chill of the outside world.

“Shoes off,” Y/N said as she removed her own shoes, placing it neatly on the shoe rack by the door.

Steve followed suit, desperately trying to remove the feeling of awkwardness that seized him.

Y/N walked into her home, not bothering to wait for Steve to follow her.

Despite the imposing exterior of Y/N’s home, the interior told a different story. It was warm and inviting, the walls painted a rich green and covered with beautiful paintings. Red velvet furniture was scattered all about the space, the most notable being the large floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that covered the right side of the room. It was filled with books and different sculptures decorated the empty spaces. There was even a medieval suit of armor between the shelves. There was a staircase to the left, leading to what Steve could only assume was the bedrooms. A lush carpet was laid before him, covering the whole expanse of the room.

Steve followed Y/N, who’d walked through the a door next to the fireplace.

The smell of baking cookies intensified, causing Steve’s mouth to water. He’d always  had a bit of a sweet tooth and even now, in the presence of his enemy, he couldn’t deny the pang of cravings.

Y/N led them to a modern kitchen, one that was vastly different from the living room they’d just left. There was a kitchen island in middle with white leather seats lining the side and even a breakfast nook big enough for eight people towards the right. There was a TV on the farthest wall of the nook, turned off and quiet. The panels of the countertops were a gleaming marble, the walls painted a pretty light blue. There were two refrigerators, wide enough to fit at least two people inside and no doubt fully stocked with cooking ingredients and snacks. One of the counters was occupied by an espresso machine, as fully stocked as a busy cafe with equipment Steve didn’t know the name of scattered around the side. The stove was set on the other side, with eight burners set against shiny metal. There were two ovens below it, one of it lit and where no doubt the smell of baking cookies came from. There was a bookshelf to the side below the TV, filled with different cookbooks and some in languages Steve couldn’t understand. While the living room was warm and slightly dark, the kitchen was all light, the walls covered in windows that let in plenty of light even with the dark grey sky.

“I’m sorry for the mess. I wasn’t expecting guests,” Y/N said, the words coming out almost stiffly. An apron magically appeared around her waist and she got around to continuing whatever it was she was doing before Steve got here.

In truth, Steve wasn’t sure where the mess was. The kitchen was clean and pristine without even a speck of dust floating in the air. He wasn’t sure what to say so he stayed silent, his eyes roving around the space.

“Anything you prefer to drink?” Y/N said just as the oven dinged. She pulled open the door of the oven and with the use of her powers, telekinetically moved the hot tray of cookies towards the kitchen isle. “I make a mean cup of coffee. Or if you want some chocolate or tea, I can make those for you too.”

“Coffee sounds great,” Steve said with a slight smile, pushing aside the awkwardness. It was strange, he thought, that the only pieces of conversation Steve ever had with Y/N was when he’d captured her or when she was monologuing her villainous plans or when she was behind bars and was too tired to escape, choosing instead to make idle conversation with Steve.

“You can take a seat, you know,” Y/N gestured at one of the stool in the kitchen island and Steve watched in wonder as what seemed like invisible hands pulled the stool, giving him space to take a seat.

Steve didn’t even hesitate. He took a seat on the stool and silently watched as Y/N used her powers to move the cookies to a cooling rack. An almost white glow seemed to envelop the cookies as they slowly moved from one tray to the next. She moved assuredly, her eyes trained in concentration in the task before her.  “How do you like your coffee, Rogers?”

Steve paused, a little surprised by the question but he wasn’t really sure why. She’d already offered to make it for him. Why should he be surprised that she would make it to his liking? “To be honest, I’m not sure.”

At that, she stopped. Her eyes snapped to his face, her brows furrowing in confusion. “You don’t know what kind of coffee you like?”

“Well back then our only option was black. No cream or sugar because of the war. There’s all these options now and I’ve never really got around to exploring them before.”

With the way Y/N stared at him, it was a miracle a hole hadn’t burned through his forehead. 

“Why don’t I make you my go to coffee order so you can give it a try? You aren’t allergic to anything, right?”

“I’ll have whatever you’ll have. I was allergic to whole bunch of things before the serum but I’m not anymore.” 

Y/N simply nodded silently before walking towards the espresso machine and grabbing ingredients from one of the massive fridges. Cartons of milks and bottles of syrups flying out of the fridge in a neat conga line, swaying this way and that.

“I’m a little surprised you didn’t know that I wasn’t allergic to anything,” Steve said, his words trailing off. Y/N was smart, a certifiable genius who could wield magic more effectively than Steven Strange. She wasn’t nearly as powerful as Wanda but there was no denying that she’d give the Scarlet Witch a run for her money if the situation called for it. Steve had expected that Y/N would learn everything there was to know about the Avengers, especially since they were her enemy. 

“I did know you weren’t currently allergic to anything,” Y/N said, her words almost indecipherable over the loud din of the brewing espresso. “It would have been rude of me not to ask so I did.”

Oh. 

Well, Y/N was nothing if not impeccably well mannered. 

She turned to him then, her gaze pure unbendable steel as her eyes locked to his. “Steve, what are you really doing here? I haven’t done anything remotely villainous for the past few months.”

“I told you, the storm.” Even his words sounded feeble in his ears. 

“You expect me to believe that you came all this way to, what, protect me from the hurricane? My house is reinforced by magic, Rogers. Nothing can harm me while I’m in here. Not rain, snow, tsunamis, earthquakes or hellfire. And I know you know that. And if what your saying is true and you wanted to warn me about the storm, I’m suppose to suddenly believe that you, what, care about me? So why are you really here?”

The urge to tell her that he really did care about her fought its way out of his throat, scratching and biting and screaming as he struggled to push it back to whatever box it crawled out of. Feeling anything but antagonism for Y/N was a recipe for disaster, one that had the word DOOM spelled out all over it. 

The truth is, they were two very different people. Or, at least, Steve desperately hoped that they were different. 

He was a good person. He didn’t need a super soldier serum to tell him that he was a good person. 

But calling Y/N a villain wouldn’t have been fair to her. 

She was so much more. 

When it came to Y/N, the lines were always blurred. Even when she did terrible things like murder people, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad for any of the people she’d killed because they themselves were monsters. And when she did good, it was far better than any goodness Steve had done in his life. Y/N had been known to heal children sick with cancer, permanently purging their diseases from their bodies. She’d helped protect rape victims and domestic abuse survivors by giving them protective charms. 

But because of her methods, because she’d never been afraid to kill and hurt in order to achieve her goals, she’d been labeled a villain. 

Her personality changes were enough to give Steve whiplash. 

Still, Steve couldn’t deny the obvious attraction between them.

The first time the Avengers had captured her, she had been in a gleeful mood. Almost manic. She’d succeeded in assassinating a high profile senator who was running for the presidency and while his profile was clean cut on the outside, his assassination broke the news that he wasn’t as good as he claimed to be. He’d profited off of a sex-trafficking ring, selling girls as young as 4 to shady buyers looking for slaves. There’d been signs of torture and mutilation on his body and with the way his blood drenched Y/N from head to toe, it was clear she’d felt no remorse for what she’d done.

Steve almost didn’t want to arrest Y/N then and in truth, a part of him had been relieved when she’d escaped her cell. The whole team had silently agreed to not answer any of their phones when she’d initially escaped. Even Nick Fury had agreed to put his phone on silent.

After a week, Y/N was sighted in Madripoor freeing the captured women. The lives of a thousand women in exchange for one horrible, greedy man didn’t seem like a hard exchange in Steve’s eyes. When the Avengers finally arrived on the scene after several pitstops involving coffee, donuts and ice cream, Y/N went with them willingly only after she confirmed that the women would be fine, giving each of them a protective charm that helped them sleep better at night despite the traumas they’d endured.

After that, she’d stretched out her arms, ready for the power-dampening handcuffs that Tony had designed specifically for her. She’d done with an almost gleeful smile on her face, humming an unfamiliar song. Despite the soot, the blood and bruises that marred her pretty face, she was the image of pure contentment.

“Don’t even think of escaping, Y/L/N,” Tony had said as she clasped the manacles around her wrist, the technology whirring to life with a little beep. “With these little guys around your wrist, you can’t use a single iota of your powers.”

She’d smirked at Tony then. “Very bold of you to assume I need magic to escape.”

Steve and Natasha had taken it upon themselves to escort her to her prison cell with the rest of the team staying behind to ensure that all the freed women would be okay. 

“You know, I’m almost rooting for you,” Natasha said with a wry smile.

“Almost?” Y/N asked incredulously. 

“Scratch that. I am rooting for you.”

Y/N smirked. “I’m a huge fan of yours, too you know. It’s not everyone who can defeat a giant purple alien hellbent on destroying half the universe’s population.”

“What can we say? All in a day’s work.”

“I hope there isn’t any hard feelings between us when I do eventually escape from these restraints.”

“That’s going to depend on how hard you hit us.”

“I’ll try not to throw a punch.”

Y/N eyed Steve on her right, who had been quiet during the whole exchange. “He looks sturdy though. I’m sure I can take both of you in a fight even with my hands tied behind my back. Well, with my hands tied in my front, rather.”

She did manage to escape that time.

One moment she was sitting at the back of the Quinjet, the very image of regality and the next, the manacles were off her hands, with the Quinjet’s hangar opened as she jumped out of it, the whole interaction happening before either Steve or Natasha had even unbuckled their seat belts. 

Neither Steve nor Natasha were eager to run after her.

The second time the Avengers captured her, Y/N had paid a visit to a suave businessman who’s whole appeal was his efforts to Go Green!

As it turns out, the only green he was after was money. 

Y/N had leaked the news, telling the world about how the businessman’s green message had been nothing but a sham. He’d burned down whole forests to cultivate land in order to create cocaine that he could serve to the masses, exploiting young boys by turning them into dealers and addicts.

Y/N had leaked the story to the press, telling the world about how the businessman’s whole green message was nothing but a lie. Not only was he burning whole forests down to fuel his greed, he’d been doing it to plant cocaine plants, enough to get the whole northern hemisphere high on his supply. It was lucrative business and he’d exploited young boys by forcing them to work in the factory, forcing them to get high to keep them subservient to him.

She’d gone after the businessman first, sending a message to the world that his hypocrisy wouldn’t be tolerated. She hanged him, dangled his body over the side of his company’s skyscraper in New York then proceeded to free the boys stuck in his factories around the world before cutting down the cocaine farms and replanting new trees. 

With the businessman’s shady dealings all over the world, it had been difficult to track down where she’d strike next. Not that the Avengers were actually eager to capture her.

Strangely enough, Bruce would find himself immensely hungry before they had to fly to wherever in the world Y/N was in and it didn’t do well not to feed the Hulk.

They’d finally captured her in a tiny island off the coast of Mexico, the last of the businessman’s strongholds. She’d freed the boys, cured them for their addiction then cut down the cocaine plants. Then she sat down and waited for the Avengers to arrive.

“Took you guys long enough,” Y/N had said as Steve and Natasha walked towards her. She stood up, dusting off her pants.

“Scott drank a lot of orange juice on the way here. We had to make a lot of pitstops.”

Y/N frowned at them. “I distinctly remember that your jet had a restroom.”

“Plumbing was broken according to Tony,” Steve said with a shrug.

She made a noise of assent before she put up her arms. “Alright, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

“Put your hands down. We aren’t going to cuff you.” Natasha led the way to the Quinjet where Scott Lang and Bruce Banner waited.

“Oh, pulling out the red carpet for me?” Y/N batted her eyelashes, almost flirtatiously. “You shouldn’t have.”

“If I had my way, you’d be in cuffs,” Steve huffed under his breath.

Y/N raised a challenging brow. “Not a fan of me, Steven?”

“I’m not a fan of anarchists,” Steve retorted.

“Anarchist,” she repeated with a pleased grin. “I like that. Never been called that one before.”

“Steve,” Nat said in a warning tone. 

The group had already discussed the whole Y/N situation. While majority of the Avengers thought that while Y/N’s actions were brutal, ultimately, the end results and her intention was good. Even if it resulted in the death of one evil soul, none of the could deny that her actions ended up saving hundreds, if not thousands, of lives.

She may not have taken down a giant purple alien hell-bent on wiping out half of all living beings, no one could deny that her actions saved others.

Still, Steve didn’t exactly approve of her methods.

“Listen, I get it,” Y/N said as their group ascended up the Quinjet, occupying one of the empty seats and giving Bruce and Scott a greeting nod. “I’m not exactly conventional but sometimes, it takes breaking the system to help others. You can’t help the survivors if they were victimized by the very system created to protect them.”

“I’m just saying there are proper channels—“

“No there aren’t. There are no proper channels for people like them.”

Steve frowned. “Who, the oppressed?���

“No. Them. The rich and powerful bastards who constantly use their money and resources to take advantage of people. There is no justice when it comes to them.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I?” Y/N turned to Scott, who watching the exchange between her and Steve with rapt attention. “Lang, weren’t you imprisoned for grand larceny?”

“It was one time,” Scott sighed, “and I didn’t steal that money for myself. I gave it to the people most in need.”

“Right, and how many years did the CEO you stole from spend in jail for stealing from his employees?”

“None,” Scott replied, almost quietly.

She turned back to Steve. “See? The system is broken and sometimes the only way to make it work is to smash it completely to bits.”

He’d ignored her then and it didn’t take much effort for her to escape them. 

“Oh daaarn,” Natasha said sarcastically as her hands pulled at the accelerator, taking them further and further away from where Y/N landed, “we can’t exactly turn back now. Might as well go get some ice cream while we’re at it.”

They met again after the death of a high-profile serial killer. Because the serial killer work in law enforcement, he got off easy and he was released after 10 years in prison despite the fact that he’d killed 23 families, roughly 100 or so people. No one was spared, not women or children or even babies. 

When he got off, Y/N was there to make sure he never hurt anyone again.

“He could have changed!” Steve yelled, his voice bouncing around the Quinjet. He was alone with her this time, having rushed to the scene of the crime. “He could have become a better person.”

“He could have,” Y/N said quietly, her unblinking eyes trained on open sea in front of them. Steve wasn’t sure where he was flying the Quinjet but he’d be damned if he brought Y/N back to US soil. She’d be met with handcuffs as soon as she lands and it wasn’t Y/N he was worried about. Anyone who tries to arrest Y/N would end up in the hospital. “I’m not willing to take that chance.”

He glanced at her. Y/N’s face was passive, a stoic facade as hard as stone but her eyes were soft, the sadness and pain in her eyes unmistakable. 

“When you can do the things I can,” she whispered, her voice so low, Steve strained to hear, “when you’re cursed with powers like I have, you have two choices. You can either lash out at the world or you can do something to fix it. Any person that man would have killed after he was released, their blood would have been on my hands.”

“You are not responsible for other people’s actions,” Steve said, his previous anger leaching from him. 

“You’re right. But I am responsible for my own. Now where are you taking me? If you’re not entirely sure, you can drop me off in Australia. I have some business to attend to.”

“What business?”

“Not that you care but the leader of the Russian mafia is staying there for vacation. That man and his operation has killed hundreds of people. I’d like to pay him a visit. I can portal my way there but using the Quinjet means I have a few minutes to rest my eyes.”

The right thing to do would have been to bring Y/N back to the States to answer for her crimes. Instead, Steve turned the plane around and headed to Australia. And as Y/N slept soundly, he ignored the vice-like grip of the anaconda that constricted itself around his heart.

They landed in Australia after a few hours and he watched as Y/N stretched her body against the seat. “That has to be the best sleep I’ve had since… well I hardly remember.”

“Go,” Steve said, his voice harsh. “Before I change my mind.”

But Y/N did no such thing. Instead she lounged against the seat as if it was her throne and she its lazy queen. “You know, when Natasha or even Tony let me go, I understand their motives. Tony doesn’t trust the legal system and Natasha could have been one of the women I saved in another life. But you? Don’t you have a stick up your ass the length of a stripper pole?”

Steve bristled at her words but kept his mouth shut. His eyes were narrowed into slits as he watched a wry smile pull her lips.

“So, what, Steve? What’s the play here? You really want me to kill this guy? Why are you letting me go?”

“There are a lot of people who deserve to go to jail. You aren’t one of them. What you do with your freedom, that’s up to you.” His words were the truth. She looked at him with an expression he couldn’t really place and for a single second, it was as if a silent agreement passed between them. But the moment was gone and Y/N conjured up a portal and sashayed away.

That was three months ago and any and calls Steve heard regarding Y/N, he’d ignored. He ignored her when Y/N went on a prison break binge, releasing small time drug offenders and helping cure them of their addiction; he’d ignored her when she’d leaked the financials of big pharmaceutical companies, causing their sales to tank and for the price of insulin to go down; he’d ignored her when she’d saved hundreds of women in another sex trafficking ring. 

Except now, today. He’d heard reports from Nat, who decided to keep in touch with Y/N on the down low, on Y/N’s location and he ran here. Now she was looking at him with the most perplexed look on her face. 

She turned, once again busying herself with making his coffee. 

“I’m surprised you aren’t using magic to make the coffee,” Steve said. 

She shrugged. “I like making it by hand. Reminds me of simpler times.”

She set the steaming mug of coffee in front of him before grabbing a small plate and setting a few pieces of the freshly baked cookie in front of him. The coffee was still hot enough to hurt his mouth but Steve didn’t hesitate to take a sip. He’d had worse injuries than a burnt tongue. 

The coffee was delicious. It was sweet, sweeter than he was used to but still delicious. The cookie, on the other hand, was something else entirely. He half suspected that maybe Y/N had sprinkled some kind of magic potion on the cookie because it was the best damn cookie he’d had in his life. The outside of the cookie was soft but the inside was gooey, the butter saturating through every nook and cranny. It melted on his tongue, the dark bitter chocolate and sweet butterscotch encased in a tango of flavor that danced on his tongue. 

He briefly wondered if it would be polite to ask Y/N if he could bring home the entire tray.

“Good?” She asked, taking a sip of her own cup. 

“This is the best cookie I’ve had in my life.”

She smiled at that. “Thanks. It’s an old recipe.”

Mundanity with Y/N was weird but strangely nice.

“So what are you really doing here, Steve?” Y/N asked as she took a seat in the stool next to him. 

He took another sip of the coffee, buying himself some time. “To be honest, I’m not sure.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re not sure why you’re here? Radio silence from the Avengers for three months despite the crimes I committed and then all of a sudden, Steve Rogers grants me a house call.“

When she put it that way, he sounded ridiculous. But the words he’d spoken were the truth. 

Instead, he shifted the subject. It was all he could to escape from Y/N’s scrutinizing gaze anyway. 

“Right before we got to Australia, you said something,” Steve said the words slowly, hoping not to scare Y/N off by his line of questioning, “you said you were cursed by your powers?”

Steve had been mulling over her words for the better part of three months, taking it out like a precious pearl to examine on his quiet days. He couldn’t make heads or tails of it. All he knew was that her words were strange. Y/N was a gifted magic user and Stephen Strange had often commented at her adept ability at it. It took people years, centuries even, to gain the level of mastery Y/N had when it came to magic and yet she used as surely as she breathed.

Why would she refer to it as a curse?

Y/N raised a brow, almost in challenge. “You’re telling me the Avengers haven’t figured it out?”

Y/N usually spoke in riddles and though it always frustrated Steve, he was also incredibly patient and so his next words came out even. “Figured what out?” 

“My powers. I thought Steven Strange would try to figure me out the moment I came on to the scene.”

“He tried. Well, still trying. It frustrates him, y’know. How he can’t find answers to you.”

She grinned at that. “Alright then, I’ll give you the answers to me. Then it’s up to you if you want to tell him or not.”

“Why do you think I’ll keep everything you say to myself?”

“Because you’re Steve Rogers. And you came here, to me, in the middle of the biggest storm of the year, to see if I was okay. I doubt the others know and I’m pretty positive you wouldn’t tell them. So whatever information I say here, right now, you’ll keep to yourself.”

She was right. Of course she was. Steve figured Y/N was rarely wrong about anything. 

“Alright. Go ahead. How’d you get your powers?”

“I was cursed with it by a god.”

She said it so seriously, Steve struggled to figure out if she was telling the truth. 

“Why do you say it’s a curse?”

“Well the god who cursed me said that as the years past, I will become the most powerful magic wielder to exist. My powers will magnify tenfold, twentyfold and one day, I will become so powerful, I’ll have the ability to take over entire universes. Problem with that is magic always comes with a price and mine is my conscience. Every time I use my powers, my conscience becomes blacker until finally, it becomes a void inside of me.”

“So when you use your powers—“

“A piece of me dies with it and is reborn into something I don’t recognize. It’s why I do what I do.” 

Realization dawns on Steve. “You do your own twisted version of good to remind yourself you can be good.”

She gave him a wry smirk tinged with bitterness. “There’s no place for me in Heaven, Steve. Only Hell. But when I get down there, I’m taking as many as I can down with me. Assuming I can die, that is.”

“You’re immortal?” Steve said with a frown. 

“Well, according to the god that cursed me, I will not age and I will never get sick. Though, I imagine that if I was stabbed through the heart and someone finds a way to stop me from using my powers to heal myself, I’d die just like any other human.”

She gave him a pointed look, one that Steve shifting in his seat uncomfortably. 

“If you want to use my weaknesses against me, go right ahead, Rogers,” Y/N said nonchalantly before taking a slow sip of her coffee. “I’ll even stand still while you plunge a knife through my heart.”

“I don’t have any intention of killing you.” And it chilled Steve to the bone to find out how much he meant those words.

“Bummer.” And Y/N looked genuinely disappointed.

“Hey,” Steve said sharply. “Life is a gift. You shouldn’t—“

“Can it, Rogers. I don’t want to hear that right now,” Y/N said but there was no malice in her voice. She just sounded tired.

Fine. If she didn’t want to discuss it, Steve was more than willing to change the subject. “You never said why the god gave you your magic.”

Y/N let out a cynical chuckle. “He was in love with me.”

“What?” Steve asked, not quite believing her words. 

“The god. He was in love with me. I turned him down. Repeatedly, might I add. He got so fed up by my rejection, he decided to curse me with immortality and power. He said that one day, when I get bored with my life, it will drive me to his arms. I intend to live forever without ever thinking of him again just to spite him. And when I gather enough power, I’ll kill him myself. He can take away my humanity but he can’t take away my hatred of him.”

Steve couldn’t stop his smile. Y/N’s story was sad, incredibly so. He couldn’t imagine the profound loneliness that stretched before her. Centuries, maybe even a millennia of isolation and solitariness to spite a vengeful god. But she’d succeed, Steve had no doubts about that. He couldn’t picture anyone squaring up with Y/N and coming out of it victorious on the other side. 

“So, what do we do now, Steve?” Y/N said with a slight sigh. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well you broke a boundary. We never explicitly said it but I think we both decided to keep each other at arms length. I’ve been chummy with Nat and Yelena up to a point but not you. Back in Australia, I think we both agreed that our relationship will be strictly professional, even if we never really said the words out loud. But now, you’re here. What do we do about that?”

“I don’t know.”

Y/N simply sighed before taking a sip of her coffee. “Every morning, when I wake up, I find myself looking for reasons to get out of bed.”

“What are you doing?” Steve said with a frown. 

“I celebrated my 100th birthday last (birthday month). I love to read. When I get bored, I write poetry. I love music though I was never talented enough with it but I do have centuries to learn now so who, knows, I might start. I love art too. I’ve been everywhere in the world and yet I never fail to visit a museum to see their art. I like sad paintings. The kind that can bring people to tears.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

She looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world and the answer should have been obvious by now. But Steve knew how to look past the arrogant veneer and see the vulnerability that swam in her eyes. “I’m going to live forever, Steve. And even if I’ll always remember other people, I won’t always be remembered. I figured, it’d be nice if someone knew some things about me. The last person I knew from my old life, she recently died. As humans, we are the people we know. I want someone to know me, even a little.”

“I miss music from the 1940s,” Steve said, not even thinking about the words. “Sam and Nat have both been trying to update me about the music of the decade but nothing beats my music. I like wearing converse because it’s one of the few things that never changed since I woke from the ice. I don’t like the rain. It reminds me too much of the war. There’s a boxing gym I use to go to back in New York. I never had a chance to box before because I was always too sick but I use to accompany Bucky whenever he had a match. When I was injected by the serum, I never had a chance to go back and so when I woke up from the ice it was one of the first places I went to.”

“Was the gym still operational?”

“It’s a little run down but I make it work.”

She smiled at him and Steve tried to ignore the jolt of warmth that shot down his spine.

“Why are you telling me these things?” She asked, an eyebrow raised in question, a playful expression beginning to bloom from her face. 

“Friends know things about each other.”

And then Y/N’s face lightened like the sun peeking from the clouds after a storm, all warmth and joy. 

The rain. Steve hadn’t even realized it had stopped. He glanced at the window behind Y/N and saw that the day looked almost as bright as Y/N’s smile.

“You need to go, don’t you,” Y/B said a little wistfully. 

“Yeah,” Steve said, a little wistful too. He finished the cup to the dregs letting its sweet flavor fill him up til he was sure he’d be able to taste it until he got home. 

Y/N led them out of the kitchen and back to the living room before she opened the front door and let him out. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N,” Steve said as he pushed his sweaty hands into his pocket.

“You will?” She said, surprise laced in her voice. 

“You said you struggle to find reasons to wake up in the morning. I’ll be a reason to. Friends do that, you know.”

“I know,” Y/N said but without her usual bravado. She looked almost roseate and Steve suddenly realized how strange it is that despite the fact that he’s seen her many times before, he never realized how pretty she was. As if a sudden burden had been lifted from her shoulders, making her look younger than actually was. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Steve.”

“See you tomorrow.”

And she closed the door.