#the fact that she has been made insecure by all this is terrifying
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themathomhouse · 9 months ago
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I have friends in their mid-late twenties or are exactly 30 and they refuse to have pictures of themselves without filters exist. Not even posted anywhere, just existing on my phone.
My younger sister - who does not have a single wrinkle, because she's only just 30 - spends so much time on tiktok and Instagram that she thinks she looks ancient. "At least 50", she says. Both she and I are still asked for ID every time we buy alcohol, because we inherited our mum's fair and sensitive but smooth skin.
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This is me. I'm clearly older than her (not posting her for privacy obvs), and I look young. Why? Because I am! Early 30s, despite my joking about being old, IS young!
The cat in the picture is older than some of the people getting fillers and Botox and anti-ageing cream. All it does is create a captive market of people you can consistently sell to - you need these products because you're so flawed without them. You need this surgery. Buy our stuff, then you'll be perfect.
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TikTok has absolutely rotted peoples mind. I’m sure you’ve seen this trend of mainly cis women posting what they look like without cosmetic work done in response to the rise of plastic surgery and facial filler becoming more of a norm. Everyone who has participated in this trend has gotten utterly ripped apart and bullied in the comments.
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This was the top comment and like.. what are you talking about? Have we forgotten what real people look like?
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justauthoring · 1 year ago
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that cherished feeling.
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it's a feeling you've never felt before, but bakugou shows you just how wonderful it can feel.
a/n: this is the longest oneshot i've ever written and ive been working on this for like a week lol. i really hope you guys enjoy this :)) i love fantasy au's and specifically (1) barbarian!bakugou!
pairing: barbarian!bakugou katsuki x f!reader
word count: 8,010
warnings: parental abuse, death
“Make sure she looks decent enough for him.”
With a frown, you keep your gaze held ahead even as you’re pulled and tugged in all directions without a single care for your own wellbeing. You know to keep silent, hands held tightly before yourself to stop the violent shaking that overwhelms your body caused by the fear that strikes you deep in the heart.
“He’ll be here any moment,” your step-mother continues, voice cruel, “hurry up!” Her words are hissed at the maids that fret around you, bustling about as they pin your hair back and dust makeup across your face to hide the insecurities your mother refuses to let him see. They’ve been at it for hours now, or at least it feels that way, and you’re tired of being poked and prodded at all for the sake of a man who will probably kill you the second he’s done using you.
They’re barbaric..
They fuck and kill and pillage anything within sight.
They’re monsters.
You’ve heard these whispers around the castle your entire life, maids tucked into corners whispering amongst themselves, the cruel words your step-mother has spat to her council plenty of times. Your entire life you’ve heard about how horrible the Adroghar’s are, that they came into power and nobility by killing Kings, Queens, Princes and Princess’ of different lands, stealing money and destroying villages. 
Your entire life, you’ve been terrified of them.
And now, today, you were about to be married off to one – in other words, sold.
Have you heard? The Queen means to sell Y/N off to the King of the Adroghar tribe!
To Bakugou Katsuki? Isn’t he said to be the most ruthless King they’ve ever had in power?
He’ll kill her. Or worse. Certainly.
If it’s for our safety though, I can’t say I care much…
Yes. Our Queen is doing her best to keep us all safe.
Your step-mother has hated you since the day you were born. You were a constant, living, breathing reminder of your father’s indecency towards her and the second he’d died when you were two, she’s made it her goal to remind you of this fact every day of your life. You’ve been beaten, starved, locked away and treated like garbage by every single person you’ve ever known.
You’ve never felt love. Never felt warmth.
Not a single person has ever cared for you.
And now, to stop the Adroghar tribe from trampling on your land, your step-mother has sold you off to appease them. You had no say just like you never have.
“They’re here!”
A knight comes running into the room, flustered as he calls for your mother’s attention. His words make your entire being freeze, breath caught in the back of your throat as the fear makes your muscles tense.
“The Adrogharian tribe is here!”
Everything else happens in the blink of an eye–you’re forced to move, pulled by hands that grip and pinch at you, your corset tightened around your waist and a sheer shawl draped over your face to cover you from view. Before you know it you’re being led into the main hall where quickly the sound of boisterous chatter echoes and bounces around. You keep your head dipped down as your mother ordered you to, hands clasped politely before you as your nails dig and pinch into your skin.
The second the large doors slam behind you, you know your fate is sealed if it hadn’t already been.
Maybe you could’ve run. Maybe you could’ve tried to fight.
But you know it would’ve ended the same either way.
This is how it’s been your entire life.
Your mother stands directly in front of you, blocking you from view, but you let yourself slowly peek upward, through your lashes. You see the tenseness of your mother’s back as she moves to greet your guests, before slowly letting your eyes drift to who will soon be your husband. Katsuki Bakugou. He’s been the King of the Adroghar tribe for a few years now, having taken over after his mother passed–and since then has made quite a name for himself for being one of the most ruthless and cruel Kings to ever grace the Adroghar tribe.
Considering their record of ruthlessness, this fact scared you even more.
He’s tall, buff with wide shoulders and large hands. His hair is a light blonde that sticks out in every direction, unruly on his head and yet it suits his red, piercing eyes that seem as they penetrate your very sole. He’s wearing a cloak lined with fur, his neck decorated with necklaces with what you can only assume is teeth. The fashion of the Adroghar tribe is very different from the customs of your people, as he wears only trousers and no shirt, showing the world his chiseled chest.
He’s both intimidating and terrifying.
“Ah, King Bakugou,” your step-mother calls out, bowing slowly. It’s odd to see your step-mother bend for another, but you also know she’s deathly afraid of the man before her; given that they had the ability to completely wipe all of you out. “Thank you for making the long trip this way.”
Bakugou regards her with narrowed eyes, shoulders set back as he grunts out; “what’s this offer you have for me?”
Your eyes widen, hands clutching your skirt–he didn’t know?
Letting out a nervous laugh, your step-mother nods; “I heard you have yet to take a wife, my King.”
You watch, best you can see, as his lips set into a thin line. “Our traditions are different from your own,” he hisses, “but… yes. I have not.”
“Well, then, my Bakugou, I offer you my daughter in return for the safety of our Kingdom.”
She steps back then, and you tense, nails digging into the palm of your hands hard enough to draw blood as you raise your head just slightly. Bakugou’s eyes fall on you then, narrowed and dark as he regards you, and feels as if he’s peering into your very soul as you stare back at him then.
“Let me see her face.” Bakugou calls, gesturing for you to step forward.
You move to do so, but you can’t get your feet to work. You’re paralyzed with fear, you realize somewhere along the way–terrified of this man in front of you and the men that linger around him, laughing, cheering, all staring at you with the same leering look that fills your stomach with knots and makes it hard to breathe.
You catch your step-mothers gaze when you don’t move and she’s looking at you with wild panic as she gestures for you to step forward.
You can’t.
“Is she mute or just stupid?” Bakugou hisses.
Your eyes widen, and you feel like you might puke.
Your step-mother’s hand is wrapping around your arm in the next second, grip pinching, yanking you forward as a small yelp leaves your lips in response. You’re thrown, losing your footing as you come crashing to your knees directly in front of the King, your step-mother yanking the shawl off of your head in the next second and a new sense of vulnerability washes over you.
Your step-mother had adorned you in incredibly revealing clothing, more skin than you’ve ever shown on display for all of these leering men to see.
Too afraid to raise your head, you let out a whimper, curling into yourself.
You realize your actions could have you killed but you’re too afraid to care.
I’m going to be killed anyway… raped and then killed. What does any of it matter?
A minute passes and then slowly, Bakugou shifts in front of you. Before you know it, he’s kneeling in front of you, and terror strikes at you when you notice his arm move out of the corner of your eyes, flinching, expecting to be hit or worse, maybe he’s reaching for his sword to kill you–but, neither of that happens. You don’t feel pain or a slap across your cheek, instead, the touch is light and gentle despite his coarse skin as Bakugou gently clasps your jaw, moving your gaze upwards and on his own.
It’s the first time you’ve met his gaze head on, but oddly, his eyes don’t seem so intimidating this close.
He stares at you for a moment, a deep frown etched on his face, before his gaze raises, past you and onto your step-mother.
“Do you always treat your own family like this?”
Your eyes widen. Did he just–
“Bu-but my King, she wouldn’t–”
He scoffs, not even letting her finish and your step-mother falls eerily silent as he does. It’s like his entire personality had changed in the split second you’d been thrown to the ground. He shifts, his hands moving to grab you by the arm, but his grip is gentle, just tight enough to pull you up to your feet. You let him, confused and baffled by what was happening, as your arms curl around you to cover yourself, letting him guide you behind him as you turn to face your step-mother.
You don’t see it, too focused on her harsh gaze on you, but something warm is wrapped around your shoulders a moment later and your eyes fall on Bakugou with parted lips as he clasps his cloak around your neck. He doesn’t smile, but his eyes are soft as you grab his cloak gently, gripping the material close to yourself as the warmth envelops you. 
Bakugou turns to face your step-mother, his face dark and his words menacing. “I should have your head for that.”
Her eyes bulge, as do yours—you can’t believe what you’re hearing. You can’t believe what’s happening. Never once has anyone stood up for you, and the last person you ever thought that would was the man you’d been sold to. A barbarian. A monster.
Yet, despite everything you’ve been told your entire life, he didn’t didn’t seem like a monster to you at that moment.
Your step-mother sputters over her words, indignation flooding her as she stares back at Bakugou. Then, her eyes drift to yours, gaze cold and steely and you know in that moment, like everything else she’s felt has gone wrong, she blames you entirely.
“She’s just the daughter of a measly prostitute!” Your step-mother bellows, eyes crazed as she loses her composure, voice echoing across the suddenly silent hall. No one says a word as she stands there, huffing with rage. Even Bakugou’s men have fallen eerily silent. 
“She’s just the baby of a whore with not a single claim to the throne,” she laughs, hand reaching out to point towards you. “I was giving you to her as a ruse! She’s nothing more than scum on the underside of my shoe.”
The silence echoes and drags.
It feels like hours of agonizing anticipation as not a single person says anything. You can’t see Bakugou’s face but yours is burning red with the humiliation of your truth being spilled out to everyone, most of all Bakugou. Your step-mother has spent her life reminding you, never once letting you live without hearing similar words in the back of your mind. It wasn’t like your people didn’t know either—maids had spent their life leering down at you and knights had laughed at you anytime you’d drifted past them.
But it’s a new sort of humiliation having it be said in front of Bakugou and his men. 
A minute later, but it feels like eternity, Bakugou finally steps forward. It’s one single step, his wide back thoroughly blocking your view of your step-mother in front of you. It’s one step but he’s standing right in front of your mother, close enough to touch her.
“You should know,” Bakugou starts slowly, voice low. “That your background isn’t a matter of concern in the Adroghar tribe. We don’t care if you’re born from a whore or nobility.”
Your face eases, staring at his bare back.
Then, in the next second, he shifts. It feels like you blink and you miss it. There’s a flash of something red and then the thud of something falling to the ground, before your eyes lower and fall on the head of your step-mother, severed from the rest of her body. Her now lifeless eyes stare back at you, lips left parted from her attempt to scream before Bakugou beheaded her—but she never got the chance. 
“Kill the rest of them,” Bakugou orders, turning to face you, a streak of blood across his cheek.
Everyone?
He wanted to kill everyone?
“Here!”
Small hands are thrust in your face, gripping onto the delicate, beautifully made flower crown and behind the hands, rest a beaming face, staring up at you with twinkling eyes.
“For the princess.”
But– the children…
“P-Please!” You’re speaking before you realize it, your voice squeaking in panic as you step towards Bakugou. Your arm pulls out from beneath the large, heavy cloak he’d draped over you seconds ago, meeting his eyes imploringly. “The v-villagers! The children! Please, spare them.”
Bakugou turns to you, shocked eyes falling on you.
You take his expression as one of anger and with a cry, you fall to your knees, holding your hands out before you. “Please, my K-King. Spare the villagers. They’re… they’re innocent.”
A moment of silence passes. Your face is turned towards the ground, forehead all but pressed against the cold stoned floor, shaking as flashes of that sweet, innocent little girl smiling at you surface in your mind. They don’t deserve to die. You don’t care about the rest of them–not your mother who laid dead and beheaded a few feet in front of you and not the maids or the guards who have leered and laughed and tortured you your entire life. But the villagers–the children don’t deserve to die.
“Spare the villagers,” Bakugou orders, and your eyes widen, the beige of the floor flooding your vision. “But kill the rest.”
He–
“Stand up.” Hands fall on your arms, tugging you back to your feet as you stare at Bakugou bewildered. His face is blank, but there’s a hint of something in his eyes you just can’t quite make out. “If you are to be my Queen, I cannot have you on your knees. Not for anyone, including me.”
It seems the customs of the Adroghar tribe are much different than your own, the thought occurs to you. But it isn’t this fact that baffles you. It’s the fact that he calls you his Queen…
He–he still wants to marry you?
“I was promised a bride,” Bakugou calls out, as if he’d heard your thoughts and it’s the first hint of a smile you see on his face as he glances down at you. “I intend to have one.”
-
You stare at the licks of the fire before you, eyes watching the dance of the flames that heat your cheeks.  
In the dead of the night, Bakugou’s men are as loud as ever. They cheer and laugh around the fire a few feet away from you, some bustling about as they feed the horses and make sure everything is in order for travel tomorrow. 
You’d all only travelled for a few hours before Bakugou had called for you all to stop for rest. His men had seemed confused and you yourself had expected to travel for longer given that it had still been quite bright out at the time–but Bakugou had just brushed off the questioning gazes of his men and had helped you off the horse you’d been riding with him. His grip was gentle as he guided you to your feet, ordered his men to prepare a fire for you and then left you there once it was done.
You hadn’t seen him since.
You held his cloak which was still wrapped around your shoulders tightly, your grip tight as every step that sounded just a little too close made you flinch. You were confused and dazed by the events of the day, still not even sure if you’d properly registered what had happened. Your step-mother was dead, murdered in front of you, and now the rest of your family and all of your servants are dead as well. 
You’d expected Bakugou to reject the marriage at the end of it all but…
I was promised a bride. I intend to have one.
And yet he’d said those words so softly, with an odd warmth to them. Yet, you’d be taken with him as he left your castle, the only home you’ve ever known, placed on his horse right in front of him and now staring at a fire in his people’s camp. Yet, you were meant to follow him all the way back to his home and marry him.
Just how has your life changed so much in such a short amount of time?
“Have you eaten anything?”
Gasping lightly at the voice, your head snaps upwards, wide eyes falling on Bakugou’s. He’s stepping towards you, a plate in his hands as he makes his way to sit beside you on the small cot his men had prepared for you. Your eyes watch as he moves, not having properly registered his question as he takes a seat directly beside you. His leg brushes against your own and you hug his cloak tighter to yourself, body tensing.
“Sorry,” he mumbles gruffly, having caught your reaction. He pulls his leg away and then holds the plate out in front of you. “Are you hungry?”
Your eyes dance across the food on the plate, puzzled by the sight. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.
“All that’s… for me?”
Bakugou’s eyes flicker to the plate, raising a brow; “yes?”
“O-oh, thank you,” with shaky hands, you grab the plate, setting it down on your lap. You feel Bakugou’s eyes on you as you ponder what to try first. It’s not just the amount of the food on the plate, it looks much different than anything you’ve ever seen back at home. You may not have been fed much and whilst you usually were given scraps, you know that this is very different to the traditional food your people eat.
Tentatively, you reach out, taking a bit of it in between your fingers once you notice the lack of utensils and place it in your mouth. Instantly, you're hit with a wave of flavour you’ve never tasted before. Your eyes widen as the taste floods your entire mouth, eyes gleaming with delight as you let out a small moan without thinking.
Bakugou chuckles beside you.
Your eyes fall on him, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
“Never tried Adrograhian food before, I take it?”
You shake your head, “that and… well, I’ve never had something so… full of flavour.”
Bakugou blinks, the smile fading from his lips as you turn away, trying to ignore the look on his face as you place your attention back on the food. The two of you sit in silence as you eat the rest of the food, perhaps eating faster and bit more messier than Bakugou probably would’ve expected from you–but you’ve never tasted something so decedent nor had so much food to eat all for yourself. 
When he doesn’t punish you the first few times for shoving your mouth full, you figure it’s alright too.
“Thank you,” you call out to him once the food is done, your voice a soft whisper as you smile softly over at him. “Thank you.” You bow your head.
“There’s no need to do that,” Bakugou calls out in a rush, shaking his head. “You don’t… I won’t… hurt you.”
Blinking, you stare at him, lips left parted.
Distantly, you notice red across his cheeks but Bakugou is standing before you can get a better look, pushing himself to his feet before turning, back facing you. “Get some rest,” he grunts, “we have a long day of travel ahead of us tomorrow.”
You watch him walk off, watch as his back grows further and further away, until you’re once again left alone. Except, this time you don’t feel so lonely. 
A small smile curls onto your lips as his words echo in your mind.
I won’t hurt you.
-
Adroghar is beautiful and unlike anything you’ve ever heard.
You’re not sure what you expected, but tall, ornate buildings with intricate and detailed designs across them all are not what you expected. There’s people everywhere, bustling about, and cheers echo as Bakugou comes marching through with the rest of his men, smiles on their faces as they reach out towards him, celebrating his return.
It isn’t barbaric.
And it isn’t poor and littered and destroyed like you expected.
It’s… lively and warm and inviting.
“So, this is the famous daughter of Cassian Heinrich.”
The second Bakugou pulls you off his horse and sets you onto your feet, you’re grabbed by a pair of hands and pulled into a bright smiling face that beams back at you. It’s a woman, her eyes twinkling with delight and her skin pink and her hair the same colour. She’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before, and you’re shocked, confused by this sudden demanding presence but yet, as you meet her eyes, there’s only warmth staring back at you.
“Oi,” Bakugou calls out, a hand resting on your shoulder as his other hand moves to the girl and yanks her back. “Don’t bombard her like that.”
“Whatever, Bakugou,” the woman scoffs, brushing him off with a wave of the hand.
Your eyes widen at the action–isn’t he the King?
Just who is this woman to regard him so casually?
You half expect Bakugou to kill her for her lack of respect towards him, but as your eyes flutter toward him, you’re bewildered as he simply just scoffs, a light smile on his head as he shakes his head.
“Mina,” Bakugou calls after a moment.
Mina. What a pretty name.
“Hm?” she hums, eyes flickering lazily to glance at him.
“Could you please help Y/N bathe and find some clothes for her to wear?” Bakugou calls out, gesturing to you. “Make sure to wash that shit off her face.”
You pause at his words, eyes flickering to the ground as you distantly reach towards your face. It wasn’t that you thought you were particularly beautiful, if anything, you’d always thought you were quite ugly and your mother had reminded you often that you were. But… but you’d hoped maybe Bakugou had thought differently.
That maybe he’d seen something in you.
Had the makeup your mother had put you made you look worse?
“You really don’t know how to talk to women, Bakugou,” Mina scoffs, stepping towards her as she pulls her arm, tucking you into her side. You stare at her, blinking, before glancing over at Bakugou who stares back, baffled. “Don’t worry,” Mina sings, smiling brightly at you as you slowly put your attention back on her. “Let’s get you bathed and cleaned, all right?”
You nod, slowly, staring back at Bakugou who watches you leave.
Oddly, you don’t want to leave his side.
-
Mina was chatty.
Very.
The entire time she bathes you, washes your face and hair and dresses you, she barely stops speaking.
It’s comforting, in an odd way. She fills in the silence where you can’t find the words, too overwhelmed by everything to know what to say. 
She’s gentle, too. Where the maids back home had pulled and prodded, sneering at you as they reluctantly helped bathed you–it was rare, only on special occasions where your mother needed you for appearances but you’d always dreaded it. They were cruel and harsh and mean and everything in between.
Mina is none of that.
You even smile as she tells you stories about Bakugou. Apparently the two of them have known each other since they were children–them and a few others that Mina tells you about and assures you’ll meet soon.
Once cleaned, dried and dressed, she politely excuses herself, assuring you Bakugou will arrive shortly. You’re left startled when she distantly informs you that it’s Bakugou’s room you’ve been led to but she’s gone before you can say anything otherwise, so, once again left alone, you take a seat on the edge of his bed, not sure what to do.
Your eyes drift across the room, but you don’t dare move.
His room is rather vacant but large. There’s a huge bed, fur carpets draped across the floors and the bed, some swords lined on the wall and a set of armor tucked away in the corner, along with a desk scattered with papers right across from you. It’s everything you would’ve expected from a man like Bakugou.
Still, it makes you feel like you learn just a little about him.
You jump as the door slams open, body freezing as Bakugou comes barelling in. There's a nasty look on his face and it’s like he doesn’t notice you as he strides right past you, throwing a piece of paper onto the desk across from the bed. Your entire body tenses, shoulders straightening as you hesitate, unsure if you should say something or not.
But before you can make the decision, Bakugou’s red, piercing eyes are on you.
However, in an instant, the anger in his eyes is gone. Instead, his gaze softens, eyes wide with pure shock at the sight of you.
“I… I told Mina to lead you to a spare room,” Bakugou explains, “I wasn’t expecting you.”
You move to stand; “I-I can leave–”
“No,” Bakugou calls out, crossing the distance between you in seconds as he reaches for you. You pause, not daring to move as his hand hovers in front of you, instinctively flinching–he halts the second you do, panicked. Your eyes meet his, and you stare, both of you silent, before your gaze flickers to his hand, and you nod.
His fingers brush against the skin of your cheek, eyes dancing across your face.
“You look… beautiful.”
It’s not what you expected. 
It never would’ve been what you expected.
No… no one has ever called you beautiful.
“They covered you with all that makeup,” he continues, voice soft. “But now that I can really see you… you’re beautiful, Y/N.”
Your eyes stare at his cheeks warming.
“You… you really think that?”
He frowns, “yes,” and there isn’t an ounce of doubt in his voice.
Tentatively, unsure, you raise your hand, setting it over his own. “No one has ever called me that before.”
“Beautiful?”
You nod.
The frown deepens, and Bakugou wants to say more but all he says instead is; “well, you are.”
You smile up at him. Soft, gentle and demure. But there’s so much feeling behind the smile, portraying every bit of emotion Bakugou has made you feel in the short amount of time you've been with him.
“Thank you.”
And he stares back, unsure of the feelings coursing through him–he’d had every intention of denying your mother’s proposal, of slaughtering them all and you included. When he’d first seen you, he’d scoffed at the sight of you, dressed in fine silk that didn’t leave anything to the imagination, your face covered as it was tradition for your people. You’d look skittish, curled into yourself, head bowed and Bakugou couldn’t deny that in that moment, he’d felt nothing.
Not a single thing towards you.
And then your mother had grabbed you and tossed you to his feet, ripping the shawl off your face and Bakugou can’t quite explain it but… something had changed.
Everything had changed.
He thinks back to the conversation he’d had with one of his men just minutes before entering his room, about what was expected of him.
“You must consummate your marriage.”
Bakugou sighs, “I’ve told you, Sero, I have no intention of–”
“Why’d you take her back with us if you had no intention of giving her a child?”
Narrowing his eyes, Bakugou turns to look at the man standing across from him. “Did you expect me to just leave her there? With her family's blood across the walls and no one to take care of her?”
Sero pauses, face twisting into an expression of bewilderment; “I expected you to kill her like the rest of them. She’s just an ordinary human.”
Bakugou can’t rightly explain it but rage seethes through his body at Sero’s word. He’s crossing the distance over to him in seconds, wrapping a hand around the man’s throat and squeezing with a manic look in his face.
“Don’t talk about her like that.”
To his credit, Sero doesn’t falter; “I don’t understand why this girl means so much to you.”
Swallowing thickly, Bakugou huffs, pulling away as he spins, scoffing. “I don’t know,” he mutters, frustrated at his own lack of understanding. Sero was right. You were just an ordinary woman, apparently born from an illegitimate relationship. You had no special qualities, had been raised as a noble by the looks of it–you were skittish and quiet and jumpy and nothing special. 
Bakugou was the King of the Adroghar tribe. He had dragon’s blood coursing through his veins, had strength unheard of and the endurance and ability of a warrior. He’s been raised to be a King, to take charge, to pillage and kill and take what he wants without a single care for anyone else.
Most of all, everyone expected him to pick an Adrogharian woman to marry.
Not a human.
Not you.
“I’m heading to my tent,” Bakugou grunts, “make sure I am left alone.”
“Bakugou?”
Blinking, Bakugou is pulled from his thoughts at the sound of your soft voice calling for him.
He leans back when he realizes you’ve leaned forward, concern etched in your eyes as you stare up at him. It’s instinctive the way his eyes trail lower, and he does it without thought, eyes drifting across your soft, supple skin, taking note of the dress Mina had dressed you in; it was thin, the edges hemmed with lace and rather sheer.
Instantly, he feels his face warm.
You must consummate your marriage tonight.
“You may sleep here tonight,” Bakugou suddenly calls out in a rush, pushing himself off the bed and turning so his back is facing you. “I will sleep somewhere else.”
He’s opening the door before you can say anything, calling out a short ‘goodnight’ over his shoulder before the door slams shut behind him. You jump as he does, lips curving down as he leaves you, once again, all by yourself.
He must’ve been repulsed, you can’t help but think despite his words.
There’s no way a man like him could think you were beautiful.
-
It’s been a few days since Bakugou took you home and you haven’t seen him once since that night.
Your days are mostly spent in the company of Mina and a handful of maids that Bakugou had assigned to you. Despite the sense of familiarity you slowly develop each day, there’s a nag at the back of your mind at Bakugou’s lack of presence–you weren’t sure what you had done, but whatever it had been clearly had been enough to cause him to avoid you.
Today’s the first day Mina has left you alone, with the excuse that there are duties she’s been neglecting that she must attend to. You brush aside her worries, assuring her that it’s alright and spend the first hour of your morning sitting in Bakugou’s room, basically doing nothing. You expected Bakugou to have you assigned to your own room since that first night he left you, given that after all this was his room you were sleeping in–but he never did and still not really knowing your way around the castle completely and not being told otherwise, you remain there.
Then again, the lack of Mina or even your handmaids, makes the experience incredibly more lonely.
You’re bored.
Incredibly so.
So, you ignore the fear striking your heart, still unsure of the limits that were expected of you, and leave his room. The whole thing is one huge maze, but eventually you find yourself outside, tucked away into a huge field lined by a huge forest, with a cave directly in the middle of it. There isn’t a single person around, and everything is entirely silent; you can hear the wind brush through the glass and leaves, can hear your footsteps as you walk and can hear your own heart racing madly against your chest.
It’s beautiful. Everything you’ve seen since arriving here has been beautiful but this… little alcove is gorgeous.
Smiling softly to yourself, you crouch, letting your hands drift across the grass, enjoying the feeling of it against your skin. This is the most freedom you’ve ever felt your entire life and you’ve never been allowed to just explore without the prying eyes of your mother watching your back, staring you down with judgement and hatred.
It’s a new feeling and one you rejoice in, laughing quietly to yourself.
But you’re quickly pulled out of your own little world at the sound of thud, one that rumbles underneath your feet. It causes you to jump, body tensing in fear, head snapping upwards, only for your eyes to fall on… a dragon.
It’s… huge.
It towers over you, a great, large beast that steps out from beneath the confines of the cave, dazzling red scales and eyes that stare right back at you. Oddly, you’re not afraid–you’re frozen in the spot, standing there as it steps towards you, hands limp by your sides and you can’t find it within you to move or walk or do anything but… but you’re not afraid. This dragon could kill you in seconds and it’s one of the most intimidating creatures you’ve ever seen, but you feel comfort as it stares back at you.
You’d known dragons had existed and somewhere in the back of your mind you’d known that the Adrogharian tribe was famous for being dragon tamers–but you’ve never seen one in person.
It… snorts? You’re not sure. Its mouth opens and a noise you’ve never quite heard before comes out, a brush of strong wind hitting you directly in the face, nearly knocking you off your feet.
And then, somehow, you find yourself laughing.
It's the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen
Distantly wondering if you’re crazy, you step forward, small, tentative steps until you’re directly in front of the dragon. Its snout is within reach, and slowly, you raise your hand, eyes flickering from its snout to its eyes, hesitant, before you let your hand fall on the front of its snout. Your hand barely covers any of the dragon, the sheer size of it massive compared to you but its scales are coarse and rough beneath the soft touch of your fingers.
Then, ever so slightly, you watch as its eyes fall shut and he pushes, gently, toward your hand.
“Oh,” you call softly, “nice to meet you too, dragon. My name is Y/N.”
It lets out a gruff, and you pull back with a laugh as it shakes its head.
“His name is Kirishima.”
A yelp leaves your lips as you spin, eyes falling on that of Bakugou who’s stood in front of you.
Panic strikes you, worried he’ll be mad you left his castle or worse, that you even left his room. Swallowing thickly, you step towards him, hands held out before you; “my K-King, I-I–”
“He normally doesn’t like new faces,” Bakugou cuts in gently, sending you a smile as he steps forward, turning his head towards the dragon. He reaches forward and the dragon, Kirishima, nudges its snout towards Bakugou, knocking into him far more aggressively than he had you. Bakugou barely nudges, staying strongly rooted to the spot as he pats Kirishima, before letting his eyes fall back on you. 
“My King, I just wanted to get some fresh air, I–”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Bakugou assures, “everything within the castle is yours.”
Every tense muscle in your body eases, shoulders falling with disbelief.
“I wanted to introduce you to Kirishima,” Bakugou continues, smiling over at his dragon. “We’ve known each other since we were children. He’s very important to me.”
Letting your eyes fall on Kirishima, you flush; “and you wanted to introduce him to me?”
“Of course,” Bakugou assures with ease, nodding. “Isn’t it normally to share these things with your wife?”
Biting your lip, you glance at your feet; “I wasn’t sure you still… thought of me that way…”
Bakugou frowns, “I apologize for disappearing for a few days. I was preparing a surprise for you.”
Turning to him, surprised, your lips part; “a surprise?”
“Yes,” he smiles gently at you. “For tonight. Mina will help you prepare as well.”
-
“A picnic?”
Bakugou’s cheeks are bright red as he stares back at you.
“Do you not like it?”
Gathering your skirt, you shake your head, moving to sit in front of Bakugou. You’d wondered why Mina had dressed you in such light, airy clothes, a pretty pale pink colour as she fretted over making sure your hair was back and out of your face. It made sense now, you realize, that she’d gone to such lengths.
All for a picnic Bakugou had prepared.
“I love it,” you admit with a gentle smile, voice still quiet as you nod at him. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“Mina helped me,” he explains, looking entirely too uncomfortable for something that was his plan. He’s sat across from you, one knee up which he rests his arm on, but his face is still burning red and it’s like he can’t meet your gaze properly as he explains. “I know nothing about wooing a woman.”
Before you know it, you’re laughing.
Bakugou’s eyes snap to yours, turning red even further (if that was even possible) as you quickly press your hands to your lips, trying to muffle the giggle.
It doesn’t help.
“Are you laughing at me?” Bakugou asks incredulously, eyes bulging. 
You shake your head, despite how blatant of a lie that is. “I’m sorry,” you apologize, biting your lip as you smile over at him. “It’s just… are you trying to woo me?”
Pausing, Bakugou meets your eyes before quickly turning away. “Maybe,” he mutters, before his shoulders fall. “Yes. Is it working?”
Leaning forward, you shift, brushing your skirt under you as you get more comfortable. “Yes,” you assure. “I just didn’t expect that. Most men would’ve just married me, regardless of whether I wanted to or not.”
Bakugou stares at you. “Is that how it’s like with your people?”
You glance at the array of food, pleasantly happy when you recognize a few fruits you used to love as a little girl–it’s been ages since you’ve been allowed to taste the sweetness of a strawberry.
“Yes,” you explain, as if it’s normal. “If I were… not an illegitimate daughter, I probably would’ve been arranged to marry a few years ago.”
You pause, however, when you see the look of bafflement on Bakugou’s face.
“I mean,” you start, slowly. “That’s why my step-mother reached out to you, remember?”
You watch as Bakugou swallows thickly. “I didn’t know until I got there and I-I… well, what I said… I didn’t mean it.”
Your brows furrow before it clicks in your mind.
I was promised a bride. I intend to have one.
Lips parting, you blink at him owlishly.
“I wouldn’t ever force you to marry me.”
Hands moving to fall in your lap, you force yourself to utter the words; “and… if I said I wanted to?”
Bakugou shifts; “marry me?”
You meet his eyes nervously, nodding. “Yes.”
“Then… I’d say… I’d love to.”
The instant relief that floods you is comforting, the smile curling onto your face once more at his reassurance. “I would be honoured,” you grin over at him, “I’ve felt that way since you took me with you.”
Reaching forward, Bakugou takes your hand in his own; “it’s I who feels honoured.”
-
You were dressed in a beautiful white gown, decorated with lace and delicate designs sewn into the material. It cinched at the waist and reached the floor, with a trail that followed behind you. Your hair had been twisted and braided and pulled up into a hairstyle similar to the ones you used to wear as a little girl. 
It was exactly like the style you’d grown up with and completely different from the Adrogharian traditions you’ve grown accustomed to. The only thing missing was the makeup across the face but you hadn’t argued when Mina had purposely avoided applying any–it brought both comfort and despair to you, staring back at your reflection through the mirror in front of you.
You… felt beautiful.
More than you ever had.
And it reminded you of home–of your childhood and brought a sense of comfort and familiarity to those early years of your life when your father had still been alive, memories of things you didn’t all together remember given how young you were but was a sense of nostalgia you rejoiced in. Before it had all been stolen from you cruelly and your step-mother had made it her goal to ruin you.
In that way, at the same time, it also reminded you of everything that had been stolen from you the second he’d died.
It was bittersweet and yet, it was the sweetest, kindest thing any single person had ever done for you and you cherished it.
“Are you ready?”
Turning to Mina, you nod.
You're led out of the room and down a few halls, until eventually the warm night air surrounds you. The sight before you astonishes you. Rows and rows of Bakugou’s men, all split in the middle where a path of flowers lay and at the end of it rests Bakugou, adorned in a regal shirt and trousers, so opposite of his normal attire. It looks odd on him in the same way he looks incredibly handsome.
And the realization sinks in then.
This is your wedding.
It had come to mind before given the dress but you weren’t sure, especially since Bakugou had talked about it but never beyond that initial conversation. You also figured that the wedding would be done in Adrogharian tradition.
This though? Made everything clear.
You turn to look at Mina who smiles brightly at you, clasping your arm in her own as she slowly starts to lead you down the aisle. Everyone’s eyes are on you, watching you but your attention is solely focused on Bakugou standing in front of you, hands clasped in front of him as he watches you grow closer and closer.
And then, suddenly you’re in front of him.
“Is… all this for me?” You whisper, clasping at your skirt nervously.
“Yes,” he nods, slowly, a nervous expression crossing his face. “Is… is it too much?”
You shake your head; “no,” you smile gently, “no this is… perfect.”
“Good.” His face eases instantly, and then, he tugs at the collar of his shirt. “Because this shirt is incredibly itchy and I’m wearing it for you.”
Despite yourself, you let out a laugh. It bursts from your lips, your hand instantly raising to cover your mouth as you giggle, glancing down at your feet. Bakugou stares at you as you laugh, never having heard the sound before, before he reaches forward, tilting your head upward by the chin.
He’s smiling gently down at you, his gaze the softest you’ve ever seen.
“Shall we get married?”
-
His touch is gentle–hesitant.
You can hear every breath he takes as you stare up at him, hands hovering before yourself.
“I don’t want to pressure you,” he whispers, using his arm to hold himself up. You’re splayed across his bed, the sleeve of your wedding dress slipping down the side of your shoulder, revealing bare skin that stares up at him mockingly. 
He wants you–but he won’t force you.
Pressing your hands against his chest, you try to ignore the shake of your body; “it’s not… that I don’t want to,” you confess despite the flush across your cheeks and the heat soaring through your body. “I just… I’m afraid.”
“Of me?”
And his voice comes out quiet, scared. You barely catch it but it’s there, eyes flickering up to meet him as he stares back at you, concern etched into his face.
“No,” you assure, shaking your head. “No, not of you.”
He leans back, shifting so he’s sat back and you follow his movements, pushing yourself up to face him properly. Your hands fall limp in your lap as you stare down at them, clutching at your skin tightly as nerves well inside of you, make your chest tighten and your body tense with anxiety.
“Then…”
“My K-King–”
“Katsuki,” he cuts in, reaching for you. “Call me Katsuki.”
You pause. “Katsuki… before you, I'd never known love.” The words are uttered with pain, hands moving to hold yourself as you turn away from him, embarrassed. But you wanted him to know. Wanted him to understand. “My father died when I was just a little girl and the second he was gone, my mother spent the rest of my life torturing me. I was tucked away, kept hidden from people while she beat me, starved me and told me how I would… never measure up to anything.
“The day you came, she had every intention of selling me to you as a bargain piece for the safety of herself. And she expected you to kill me.”
Licking your lips, you turn to face him.
“That or worse.”
He stares at you, lips left parted with the hesitance of uncertainty. 
“I expected the same,” you whisper, “but now I know you’re not like that. That you’re not some ruthless, barbaric man but you have a heart and your people love you. You’ve given me more happiness than I’ve ever felt and made me feel love for the first time since my father died… I’m not scared of you, I’m scared that once you see me–truly see me, I’ll lose you.”
There’s a beat of silence before Bakugou is leaning towards you. His hands fall on your waist and suddenly you’re falling back against the bed with a light huff of shock, eyes flickering up to meet his own that hover above you. He’s smiling, you realize, but there’s anger in his eyes–yet, it’s not directed at you.
There’s rage burning in his irises and you feel safe because of it.
“You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met,” he confesses. “The second I saw your face that day, my world lit up. I want to kill every person who’s ever hurt you, if I haven’t already. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to make you forget about everything.”
You feel your heart quicken, his words echoing in your mind as you stare up at him and see only sincerity staring back at you.
His words are warm and loving and they make you feel like your skin is on fire, a lit with a sensation you’ve never felt. Love pours from his words and he stares at you like you’re the only person that matters–that you're the only person who exists in this world for him.
He envelopes you completely and you relish in it.
“Nothing could ever make me think otherwise.”
Reaching up, you cup his cheeks, fingers brushing against the skin before holding him, the edges of your lips quirked up with a soft, gentle smile..
“You really mean that?”
He nods, thumbs pressing into the pads of your hips, as his eyes dance across your face. “More than anything.”
“Okay then,” you laugh lightly, “then I give myself to you.”
He blinks, lips parting.
“Everything.”
And the surprise fades, replaced by pleasure as he leans forward, the ghost of his lips brushing against your own.
“And I give you the same in return.”
2K notes · View notes
washoping · 3 months ago
Text
But the scars still linger
── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
Emily Prentiss x reader
summary: After taking it slow you and Emily are about to have sex for the first time but revealing all of you, including your self-harm scars that were the reason for taking things slow in the first place, turns out to be more panic-inducing than you expected. Luckily Emily is right there to show you how worthy you are.
tags: 18+, fluff and smut, comfort, talk about self-harm, scars, insecurities, panic attacks and mental health struggles in general, body worship, sex
f/f │ 5.2k words │ ao3
a/n: this has been up on my ao3 already but thought i’d post my writing here as well. writing these is like therapy to me but i wanted to share in case they could bring comfort to other people as well. all typos and mistakes are mine, english isn’t my first language. feel free to send requests, i'd love to write more <3
── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
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Emily’s kisses had this strange effect on you. Every time you two kissed since you started dating you felt like all of your worries disappeared the moment Emily’s lips touched yours. She made you feel safer than anyone else before. You had showed her more of your soul than any other person had ever seen and she wasn’t scared of what she had discovered. If anything, it was the total opposite - she was there for you and you couldn’t help but think you didn’t deserve her.
You had talked about your past, about what you’d been through in your life before her. You hadn’t shared even half of that stuff before. Emily knew of the darkness you could easily start slipping into when things got rough but she was right there by your side, ready to catch you before you started to slip. She knew of your struggles with your mental health and you two had made a pact to take things slow. It took you a while to trust people but trusting Emily had been easier than you thought. She made it easy.
You admired Emily’s patience, having very little of it yourself. She had told you multiple times that she would wait for you forever because ”you were worth it”, but you found that hard to believe. You didn’t feel worthy.
That’s why it was so difficult for you to believe that this moment right now was happening. You had never felt this close to anyone before - in fact you had never let anyone this close prior to this. Being this vulnerable was new to you but you knew you’d do anything for Emily.
Emily was kissing you, making your poor heart pound loudly in your chest as if its' only task was to remind you of all the anxiety bubbling inside of you instead of excitement. Emily’s lips were on yours but they weren’t having their usual effect of forgetting about the world on you because you had gone further than before.
Your kisses were more passionate than before now, initiated by you. Emily had sensed it and her hands were travelling all over your clothed body, stroking your upper arms, your sides, your back. Her touch sent shivers down your spine. You found the growing passion between you two thrilling but also terrifying at the same time. When it came to letting people close to you it wasn’t only the mental part of it that you hadn’t done. You had also never let anyone physically this close.
As your kisses got hungrier and hungrier you started to struggle with staying present. Your mind started racing, feeding you all kinds of insecurities to dwell on. Stupid mind.
Emily’s fingers trailed down from your shoulders to your upper arms, then further down your arms. It felt like they left a trail of fire in their wake as they went. You pulled away from the kiss and found yourself unwillingly holding your breath when Emily’s fingers came to your wrists. Her fingers and your skin had the fabric of your long sleeve shirt between them, but it might as well have been nothing because as soon as you felt her touch on your wrist, you flinched in panic and pulled your arm to your side.
No, no, no. You blamed yourself for forgetting about the mess of a person you were for a while and letting things get this far. Damn Emily and her kisses that made you lose all common sense. You felt bad for her, for having to deal with someone like you.
You looked into her eyes, finding hers looking at you with confusion and concern. She was so beautiful. People like you were never meant to be with people like her. She was way too good. You weren’t worthy. Of anyone, you thought, but especially of someone like Emily.
”Hey… what is it?” she asked softly with such understanding you couldn’t fathom it. Her voice was like a soothing balm to your anxiety that was filling your body, making you freeze in spot.
Your throat was suddenly dry and you couldn’t think of what to say. You swallowed hard, trying to come up with something that would make this moment pass quicker.
”It’s nothing”, you lied and hoped Emily would let it go, but it was a stupid thing to do because deep down you knew she would see right through you right away. She profiled people for a living after all. There had also been numerous times that you had been surprised of how it seemed like she knew you better than you knew yourself.
You looked away, trying to escape Emily’s eyes. You couldn’t face the kindness in them. You felt like you didn’t deserve to be treated with kindness after hiding something like this from her for so long. You didn’t even know how you had managed to hide it for so long, but it didn’t matter anymore because you felt Emily’s fingers gently lifting your chin, forcing you to look at her.
”Hey, I can see it’s not nothing”, she whispered, seeing right through you. ”Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Her words made tears well up in your eyes. It was like the weight of your secret was pressing down on your lungs, making it impossible for you to take a deep breath in to calm yourself the way you wanted to. You nodded, still trying your best to hide your panicking.
”Promise not to judge me, Emily…” you said quietly, not really sure if you meant to even say it out loud but Emily had clearly heard it because her brows furrowed in concern as she nodded quickly.
”I would never judge you”, she reassured you.
Without saying anything else you started rolling your sleeves up slowly, revealing the faded scars starting from your wrist, travelling up your arm. You had no idea how you had managed to hide this part of yourself from Emily for all this time you had been together. Long sleeves - obviously. But when she had stroked your arms to show you affection, or touched your thigh to comfort you in a crowded place, or when her leg had brushed against your ankle when cuddling… you had managed to ignore it and hiding had gone well until tonight. Tonight it had ended up being too much.
The room seemed to grow quieter and the air heavier, making it even more difficult for you to breathe properly as Emily took in the sight in front of her. You had never enjoyed complete silence because it made your anxious mind race but bearing this silence was on a whole another level. When you finally dared to look at Emily the look on her face broke your heart.
The silence continued as you watched her reaching out, her touch being feather-light as she traced along the white lines on your skin, some raised, some not. You almost couldn’t take it.
You hated them. Your scars. You had been clean for a good while now and harming yourself, at least the way you had done before, wasn’t a thought that crossed your mind as easily anymore. But back then it had been your primary coping mechanism, a really bad one - you were aware of that. You were prone to having coping mechanisms that in the end didn’t help you cope, but actually made things worse. Cutting had been the worst one.
It would’ve been easier to forget about that horrible phase of your life even existing if there weren’t these neatly placed scars on your left wrist, your upper thighs and ankles, reminding you of how badly you had once wanted to leave this place.
And now you were looking at the one thing in this place that made you want to stay, and seeing her looking at your scars felt worse than any of the pain you had ever inflicted on yourself. This was worse than any of it.
”Why didn’t you tell me before?” Emily finally asked, her voice breaking slightly as she looked up at you.
You shrugged your shoulders, trying to hold back the tears in the corners of your eyes. You felt so exposed, showing these parts of yourself to another human for the first time ever.
”I was scared. I didn’t want you to think less of me. To doubt my sanity or abilities or anything like that”, you explained, voicing out your fears to Emily. She nodded, understanding what you meant right away. You noticed her eyes filling with tears just like yours the moment they met yours and it stung your heart to see it happen because of something you did. ”And I already have a hard time looking at myself… my scars, my body in general. I…” you continued but Emily interrupted you.
”C’mere”, she mumbled and gently pulled your arm to bring you closer to her. She wrapped her arms around you, enclosing you into a tight embrace that brought you more comfort than you dared to even admit to yourself. You needed this. You were against her chest and she stroked your back gently, making you feel so appreciated and loved.
”I would never judge you, I hope I can make you believe that somehow”, she whispered while hugging you. Her hand was stroking your back soothingly, a gesture that told you everything was going to be okay. ”I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that alone. But I’m here now and you don’t have to face it alone anymore, if you just let me be there for you. I want to be.”
In Emily’s arms everything felt okay. Her words felt like a warm blanket wrapped around you, but doubt still gnawed at your heart, your past experiences hanging around you like ghosts.
”Why are you so kind to me, Emily?” you whispered, your voice barely audible because half of your words were muted by Emily’s shirt you were pressed against. ”Why would you want to be with someone like me? I’m… I’m broken, Em. I don’t deserve you.”
Emily broke your embrace for a bit to pull back slightly. She wanted to do it to look into your eyes, but her hands still stayed on your shoulders because she knew you’d appreciate the contact. When your eyes met you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. You felt them falling from your eyes and Emily wiped them away immediately, not wasting a second letting the tears stain your cheeks.
”Don’t you dare say that”, she said, her voice firm but only because of how much she cared. ”You’re not broken. You’ve been hurt, yes, but you’re so strong and beautiful and incredibly deserving of love. We’re all broken. We all have scars. We all have stuff we’ve went through and survived and it doesn’t make us any less capable or worthy. And you, my love… you deserve so much, baby.”
Emily’s words hit you hard. Looking into her eyes as she told you all of that made you realize you had never heard words like hers from anyone else in your life before this. You shook your head, your tears flowing freely now.
”It’s just so hard to believe that”, you admitted, your voice cracking. You looked at Emily who was fighting back tears. ”I’ve felt worthless for so long.”
Emily cupped your face in her hands, both of her thumbs gently wiping away your tears.
”I know it’s hard”, she said so extremely softly. ”But I’ll be here, every step of the way. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to do this alone.”
You tried to nod and take a deep breath but it came out shaky and uneven. You were trembling.
”Emily, I… I feel like I’m about to fall apart”, you managed to admit before trying to take another deep breath and failing again. Your chest started to tighten with the familiar sensation of a panic attack that was about to hit you. ”I’m scared”, you whispered through your tears.
Emily’s hold on you tightened and she reminded you of her presence by stroking your upper arms. She walked you to the bed, trying her best to ground you. She knew your bed was where you felt the safest, it was your comfort place. She guided you there and sat you down, kneeling on the floor in front of you. Her hands were stroking your thighs up and down, her touch a reminder that you were here.
”Breathe with me, honey. Can you do that for me?” she whispered, her own breath steady and calm. Without being able to look her in the eyes you tried to mimic her breathing, hoping it would help you calm down too. Emily saw you concentrating as well as you could and she whispered sweet praises to you the whole time.
”In and out… just like that. You’re safe with me. Everything is okay, just focus on my voice.”
And you did. You listened to Emily’s soothing voice while you searched for her hand to hold. She grabbed your hand the moment she realized what you were trying to do. You clung to her, your whole body still trembling. Despite the awkward position with her sitting on the floor she held you, stroking your back, giving you all the time in the world to just breathe.
”That’s it”, she murmured against your hair. ”You’re doing great, baby. Just keep breathing.”
Some minutes passed, though it felt like an eternity, before you felt the weight on your chest lifting. It felt a bit easier to breathe again and when you pulled yourself out of Emily’s arms you saw her flashing you an encouraging smile.
”Thank you”, you whispered and wiped a tear away from your cheek, smiling a little. You didn’t know how to thank Emily enough for being there for you. ”You’re so good to me.”
”Because I love you”, she replied right away with zero hesitation. ”I love you more than you can imagine. And I believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. You’re worth it, every bit of it.”
Her words pierced through the fog of self-doubt that had been shadowing you for years. They brought you a glimmer of light into the darkness that had enveloped you for so long. Maybe, just maybe, with Emily by your side you could start to heal. With her love and support it seemed like anything was possible.
”I’ll try”, you whispered. Your voice was still shaky but there was a layer of newfound hope in it. ”I’ll try my best to believe.”
Emily’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears.
”That’s all I ask, darling. One day at a time, together”, she said and tightened her grip on your hand. You looked down at your intertwined fingers and how Emily’s thumb drew patterns on top of your palm. It was so soft, so soothing.
”Emily… I need… I need to feel close to you. To know this is real”, you confessed with your voice trembling out of vulnerability.
Emily’s eyes softened again and she pushed herself up on her knees to reach you better. She wrapped her arms loosely around your neck and pressed a tender kiss on your lips that were still a bit moist and salty from your tears.
”I’m here”, she whispered against your mouth. ”I’m right here, my love.”
Her hands moved to your shoulders, to your sides. They started roaming over your body, not in a demanding way but more like an offering of comfort and intimacy. She knew that was what you were silently asking for. You responded to Emily’s kiss, letting it grow more urgent, seeking solace in her familiar touch. The atmosphere in the room changed into desperation, it was like you couldn’t get enough of her touch. It was the only thing that could ground you right now.
Emily’s fingers brushed against your scars again. You noticed you had totally forgotten about them. Even though her touching them now was sudden, you didn’t flinch this time. You didn’t pull away. Instead you let her touch you, to soothe the scars with the softness of her fingertips. You both looked down at the lines scattered on your arm for a bit before Emily caught you and distracted you with another kiss.
Then she stood up, pushing you gently down to the bed. She helped you lie down in front of her and when you noticed the hungry gaze she looked at you with, it made your heart race. Emily was all you had ever dreamed of and you couldn’t believe you had the privilege to call her yours.
Her eyes never left yours as she moved above you to straddle your hips. Her eyes were filled with love so profound that the whole moment felt more important than anything else had ever felt before.
”You are everything to me”, Emily whispered, her voice thick with emotion while she started pressing tiny kisses all over your neck, making goosebumps appear on your warm skin. ”Let me show you just how much you mean to me.”
Her hands continued exploring your body with tenderness that took your breath away. Her lips followed the traces her fingers drew. Her movements were directed by her need to make you feel adored. Each kiss, each caress, each tiny little movement she made was a silent promise of her love and support. You clung to her, afraid to let go in case she somehow disappeared out of your reach.
When you felt Emily’s hands slipping underneath your shirt you felt a warmth spread through your body. You sighed into the slow kiss Emily was teasing you with while grazing your soft skin with her fingertips. You could feel her smile while kissing you and it melted your heart. It was so easy to forget about the rest of the world even existing.
Emily was too slow for your liking with your shirt. You couldn’t wait to get it off and feel her skin properly against yours, without any fabric in between. You had been longing for this, absolutely yearning, so it felt like your skin was burning out of pure lust for the woman on your lap.
”Take it off”, you mumbled against her lips and she let out a chuckle. She grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it off. She couldn’t help but stroke the soft skin on your shoulders. She placed a small kiss there, and then on the other shoulder. On your collarbones, then on top of your breasts that were covered by a simple black bra. ”God… just undress me, Em.”
And she complied. She didn’t waste any time getting rid of the rest of your clothes and easing out of her own in the process as well. Both of you were left in just your underwear and you couldn’t help but steal glances of Emily’s body. You noticed she had her own scars and marks as well and suddenly everything she had said earlier made total sense. Your fingers traced a protruding scar on her abdomen and she put her hand on top of yours gently, to show you it was okay. It was part of her. Maybe the pain never truly went away but it was possible to live with it. Maybe you’d learn to live with your scars too.
Emily’s lips crashed against yours again and she gently pressed her whole body against yours, lying on top of you. You loved the feeling of being trapped between her and the mattress, the pressure made you feel safe.
She took a break from kissing you and just looked into your eyes, making sure you were feeling alright. She didn’t need to ask. You nodded, letting her know she had your consent and she answered with a small smile.
You were so mesmerised by how the light hit her deep brown eyes that you only noticed Emily’s hand sneaking down between your legs when an involuntarily moan escaped your mouth. She touched you through your underwear, finding the fabric damp already - which wasn’t a big surprise. It amused her, you could tell by the smirk on her face.
”You’re so pretty when you’re this needy for me”, she teased you in between kisses and started drawing circles with her fingers through your panties. Your hips tried to buckle up but the way she was lying on top of you made it difficult for you to move too much.
She stopped for a short while to ease you out of your bra. With one swift motion she slid her hand behind your back and undid the clasp, then pulling the bra off and throwing it on the floor. You felt a bit self-conscious, you couldn’t hide it. You and Emily had shared so much, seen so much of each other, but this was new. You were almost completely bare, emotionally and physically.
Emily could sense the nervousness in you. She grabbed one of your boobs softly, kneading it in her hand while lowering her head and taking the other’s nipple in her mouth. Your back arched as you watched her and felt her teasing the quickly hardening bud between her lips. You grabbed her head with your hands, your fingers getting lost in her silky black hair. A quick look at you before she swapped to the other nipple and she closed her eyes while giving it the same attention as the first one. You adored the sight in front of you, how your skin glistened with wetness Emily’s mouth left behind.
”Your boobs are perfect”, she stated when she opened her eyes to look up at you. You cradled her face in your hands, finding it difficult to believe her. You tried to, but saying something self-deprecating was your initial reaction.
”I don’t real-”, you managed to start before Emily stopped you right away.
”Shhh…” she shushed you and quickly came up to shut you up with a little kiss. ”None of that, okay? Not on my watch.”
You nodded, trying your best to just focus on Emily and this moment. Your mind was trying to take you elsewhere but it was stopped when Emily took her bra off. She didn’t give you a chance to pay much attention on her boobs before she lowered herself on your body so that she was situated between your legs on her stomach. She looked at you hungrily, inhaling your scent.
”Oh god”, you whispered under your breath when you felt her knuckles brush ever so slightly up and down your slit through your panties. You had never felt this turned on before and you were sure Emily could see it from the way your body reacted to her.
”Such a pretty girl… and all mine. I’m so lucky”, she whispered, blowing air against you on purpose. You writhed on the bed, desperate for her to just touch you properly already. She still dared to tease you by kissing you through your panties for a while until she decided it was time to help you out of them. She undressed you and then took a good look at you, admiring you with her eyes.
You felt shy and felt a blush creeping on your cheeks immediately.
And then she suddenly came up and sat against the headboard of the bed. She pat the spot in between her legs, motioning for you to sit there.
”Lean your back to my chest”, she told you and you did. You two fit like puzzle pieces when you leaned back. When your back was pressed against her you could feel her breasts pressing against your skin. You wanted to touch them, to suck on them, but Emily’s mind was clearly set on bringing you satisfaction instead.
Her arms wrapped around you and you loved how being so close to her felt like. It was pure bliss, the way her hands started travelling down your body and how they ended up caressing your pussy gently. You saw how her fingers glistened with your wetness as they teased you carefully, not touching your clit just yet. With your head leaning on her shoulder she placed a soft kiss on your cheek.
You inhaled sharply and your body jerked a bit when Emily’s fingers finally brushed over your clit. It felt better than any of the times you had done this to yourself before. You closed your eyes, letting Emily guide you through this, giving yourself and all of your trust to her completely.
”Is it okay if I slip a finger inside you?” you heard her asking and saying no didn’t even cross your mind. You nodded yes and heard Emily letting out a deep chuckle. Her voice so close to your ear made you shiver.
And then you felt her entering you, slowly and gently. She knew you could take it. You could hear how wet you were when she started moving her finger in and out of you in a slow rhythm. Her free hand found your breast and grabbed it, holding it like her life depended on it.
”More… another…” you breathed out and even though you didn’t see it you could’ve sworn Emily had a smug smile on her face.
”Another what, baby?” Emily teased you, whispering into your ear as she watched you writhe underneath her touch. You tried to move your hips to make her go deeper and to tell her what you needed, but Emily wouldn’t budge. ”I need you to speak up for me.”
”I need another finger, Emily please”, you finally begged and you could tell it amused Emily because as soon as the words had come out of your mouth she added another finger, and soon after a third one. You felt her fingers filling you and you couldn’t help but moan when she picked up the pace.
”God, you’re so soft…” she whispered into your ear and you turned your head, desperately needing to kiss her lips. You got completely lost in the kiss, moaning and whimpering as Emily’s fingers worked their magic. You couldn’t believe you had gone this long without this.
You felt Emily’s other hand squeezing your boob again, then wrapping tightly around your waist to pull you close to her. She noticed your legs starting to tremble a bit when you got closer to an orgasm so she put her legs over yours, locking you in place, making it impossible for you to close your thighs. You moaned her name in frustration, wanting to move your body purely just because all of this felt so good, but you weren’t able to. Your hands grabbed her arms when her hand found your clit.
”Fuck, fuck, fuck…” you cursed under your breath when you felt Emily fingering you and rubbing your clit at the same time, making your body spasm. You didn’t even realize how tight you squeezed her arms but she didn’t seem to mind, quite the contrary actually - it seemed to fire her up even more and she picked up her pace. As a result your thighs tried to close but she forced them to stay open with her legs. You wriggled in her grasp and groaned, no longer capable of controlling the sounds leaving your mouth. You were somewhere completely else.
”Come for me, my pretty girl”, you heard Emily say right next to your ear with a deep but sweet commanding tone. With that tone it was so easy for Emily to make you do whatever she asked for. You’d obey.
She started planting kisses all over your neck, the side of your face, your shoulder. You knew you wouldn’t last long feeling the combination of her fucking you recklessly and being so sweet with her kisses at the same time. Your hand flew to hers, grabbing it while she was playing with your clit and you squeezed it tight.
”I’m gonna…” you could get out of your mouth but Emily knew already that you were about to reach your peak. She was so good at noticing every tiniest sign from your body that showed you were close. She continued her steady pace of fucking you, not giving you any mercy. She saw your eyes closing in the midst of all the pleasure.
”No… no, baby. Look at me. Don’t close your eyes, I want to see you when you come. Please”, she said and used the same tone as before, knowing you couldn’t resist. You opened your eyes and looked into Emily’s big brown ones right when your orgasm hit you. Her eyes were full of love, her gaze not leaving you for one second while your body shook uncontrollably in her arms. She kept you afloat as you were taken over by your orgasm, repeating Emily’s name over and over again without even realizing it.
She smiled, slowing down the movement of her hands and fingers to let you calm from your high. You held on to her, trying to catch your breath.
Her hand that was on your clit moved to rest gently on your stomach while the fingers of her other hand stayed inside you, barely moving. You fell limp against Emily, feeling your skin sticking to hers. You loved being this close to her, feeling her heartbeat against your skin. She kissed your temple while you tried to calm down after what you could only describe as the best orgasm of your life. You felt so safe in her arms. You didn’t want this to ever end.
When Emily was about to pull her fingers out of you, your hand flew to her wrist to stop her. You didn’t want her to do so just yet. You couldn’t bear the thought of feeling empty so quickly after being filled up by her.
”Stay inside me for a bit more, please?”
”Of course, my love”, Emily answered sweetly, keeping her fingers inside you. You closed your eyes, sighing contently. This time Emily let you close your eyes - but she couldn’t help but reach to kiss your lips when she saw the peaceful look on your face. It was so serene compared to before when you were revealing your scars to her. The panic was gone and she adored the calmness she saw now. She kissed you softly, channeling all her admiration towards you in the kiss.
She gasped when she tasted a salty tear, quickly noticing that it had fallen from your eye down your cheek. She grabbed your cheek with her free hand and you nuzzled into it.
”Are you okay?” Emily asked while drying your tears with her thumb and continuing to stroke your cheek with a soft touch. You nodded and kissed her hand, making her eyes threaten to water too after the sweet gesture. You had never felt so loved before.
”Thank you for being there for me”, you said, your voice breaking a little as you thought about all the ways Emily had shown you how much she cares. You took her hand in yours and smiled when you felt her intertwining your fingers. You wished she’d never let go. You knew you wouldn’t.
”Always.”
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year ago
Note
Have some more language brainrot for your brainrot
Writer reader getting kind of insecure that even if they write something nobody will understand it, so when Al haithem askes you if he can keep a draft or two just for analyzing, there's hesitant agreement but ultimately you tell him to please burn the documents once he's done. They're too awkward to look at now...
Only he doesn't burn them, in fact he ends up recruiting several people close to the creator with knowledge of olden speak to analyze them. A funeral parlor consultant well known for his historical knowledge, a 500 year old shrine maiden who owns and runs her own publishing house, and a bard who somehow butted his way in on the project. None of them could resist the opportunity to witness the creator's sacred scriptures with their own eyes.
Needless to say, the papers ended up being fought over and have been making their rounds around your acolytes. It started with Ei, who insisted that as an archon she also should see the creator's work with her own eyes. Then once Ningguang found out, she ordered they be handed over to a team of literary analysts in order to be properly handled and deciphered. Things got really messy quick, but have luckily come to a halt as none of the acolytes want the creator to know their random writings are being fought over.
Especially when it comes to the creator's sullen additute. Their acolytes first have to convince their holiness that their inability to read and understand the creator's writing shouldn't prevent you from doing what you love. In fact... could they convince you to write some more?
WRITER OR READER WITH TALENTS HAS MY WHOLE HEART LIKE-
On one hand, same 💀 id be terrified for my all time fav skrunklies to see my bs
But at the same time i rlly wanna show them goddamit- THANK U FOR THE BRAIN FOOD IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY HOUSE THINKING ABT THIS-
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Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them), Writer!Reader
Planet: Language Shenanigans
Orbit: Scenario
Stars: Alhaitham mostly, some of Kaveh, mentions of other Sumeru characters
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Insecure about craft/writing, anxious first pov (not serious),
& Trigger Warnings: Mild Negative self-talk, insecure perspective/reader “you”, possible anxiety depiction.
You were not a very confident writer.
This had been an avoidable feeling ever since you picked up a pen for the first time and were asked to write a story for school.
You were always anxious turning in essays, letting friends proofread them, anything that would expose your writing to more eyes, because you’d learned the hard way early on that as you get older and better at something, the stuff from the beginning… starts to look a lot different than you remember.
things you used to be proud of after having completed them in the moment, were something you struggled not to rip to shreds a year or two after you re-found it.
If it weren’t for other writers advising holding onto old work so you can see your progress over time, you’d have probably literally nothing older than one year on your ao3, wattpad, etc…
So when you had the fortunate luck (no it is not unfortunately, you are very happy to be here tbh) to fall headfirst into your video game you’ve been obsessed with lately,
You were not planning on showing them any of your writing.
Why would you, after all? You’ve got the weapons, the artifacts, everything they need to be more powerful. Why would you show them a silly little story you wrote? Fanfic or otherwise, not that theyll recognize any characters besides themselves, but still.
Alhaitham, bc ofc it was alhaitham, cocky, deviously aware bastard he is, caught you writing in your spare time first.
You’d gotten your hands on an old journal (if made you feel better than something completely new, a nice worn leather journal, sold at a secondhand shop from an old adventurer) and had started to write what you could remember about some of your ideas you’d had drafts for in your old world
After initially walking in on you writing in the House of Daena (it was the closest you could get to lofi girl, god u missed her lmao), you nearly jumped a foot in the air bc Haitham’s a nosy bitch and leaned over your shoulder and scared the absolute shit out of you, mans goes from asking politely, to begging you to let him read some of your writing over the course of 3 weeks (a month really)
Finally, after this 6 ft (about 180cm) man leans down one day (you’re sitting writing again), and gives you the most insanely good?? puppy dog eyes??? you’ve ever seen on a man???
you give in, revise a draft about 5 times in a row, lose sleep bc ur having a breakdown about alhaitham judging ur writing the night before you give him his copy-
and hand over a small short story for him to read. you specifically leave a little note not to judge you so hard for Haitham bc u werent used to people reading ur work/let alone someone as highly academic as him, ESPECIALLY since your speech is already so much more archaic than his/all of Teyvats-
His stupid green eyes with diamonds look into your soul (are they sparkling??) and he braces your shoulders after you give him his copy,
“Mine Greatest Guide, you hath deemed this one worthy of thy trust of your creations personally, I would be a fool to gaze upon it in jest. To take this work as anything less than a masterpiece in its infant stages.”
…you just leave him to it, and are nearly running out of there (u managed to be calm enough to just speedwalk),
and you make a point to not ask what he thought about it, or even bring it up at all
you’re kind of hoping he forgot tbh… and so nothing happens!
Nothing happens… for 2 weeks after you gave Haitham a copy of your short story.
You still don’t know Alhaitham’s opinion when you see the advertisement, a sign saying something about, a new book? By YOU???
You nearly start a mob because the shopkeeper insisted you sign some copies, but you only signed a few before too many people overwhelmed you, and seeing it was that same draft- !! Oh god, you’d been agonizing over the spelling errors you’d missed when you gave it to Alhaitham, and now it’s just out there???
(luckily it seems the reviews are positive, but dammit you’ve been rereading ur story u gave him for days, and now ur positive it’s shit-)
You make a break for it, and are literally running (more like speed-walking after a while, since u got further away) thru Sumeru City:
you pass by the open patio of a restaurant, the scholars are heatedly discussing ur characterization-
you pass by Dehya, Candace, and Dunyazard, the merc is waving around a copy of ur book, the other two women look excited abt the conversation-
oh my god-
Nahida is relaxing in one of the many little gazebos thruout Sumeru, while Wanderer seems to be reading your story to her-
You fucking track down Alhaitham’s house like a bloodhound.
You are banging the infamous gay roommates’ front door, panting til ur throat burns raw.
“Yes, yes, alright, greetings to you too! I was simply visiting the Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, tis why I’m here- Greatest Lord?!”
Kaveh is nearly jumps a foot in the air at the sight of you, but recovers, (you’re still not tho lmao)
and invites you in bc apparently, Alhaitham’s been meaning to talk to you about your draft you gave him!
Oh yeah, you’ve got some words to give Haitham after giving him that damn draft privately-
But when he sees you, the fucker just- smiles??
Like he’s done nothing wrong???
You’re about to tear into him when he speaks first to tell you the good news!
He grabs your hands at the table and gets down on one knee, ohhhh no.
Alhaitham is giving you those damn begging puppy dog eyes again.
“My Greatest Lord, Giver of Power, and Guide to All, your exquisite story has entranced all of Teyvat, might I please insist you write a sequel? It is an excellent literary piece to analyze… or perhaps, even better, share other stories you’ve written??”
….Motherfucker.
Hello I’m alive! I just took a longer-than-usual break between posts from those last 2 mammoth pieces about gifts,
1: bc they were a lot to write in between writing other stuff like fanfics im already working on lol 2: I got busy with holidays and trying to apply to jobs!
Not that I’m still not doing that.. but you get what I mean!
Safe Travels Anon,
That being said, as you’ve probably noticed, I’ve made a kofi! so if you ever liked my writing (hot mess it is) and want to show me some love, feel free to leave a tip! :]
Iced coffee?? :0
💀♒
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche
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ninapi · 5 months ago
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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Kimetsu Daddies: Vol.1 ╝
Premise: Everyone has insecurities and parenting can certainly bring even more to the plate. Taking a trip to memory lane to the first days of his fatherhood journey makes Sanemi realize maybe he isn't half bad himself.
Word Count: 3639
Note: This is a prequel of sorts for my previous story "Liquid Sunshine" (which you can read here if you haven't yet), starting right after bonus chapter 2, but this is also the beginning of a new series as you might have guessed by the title change, lol. My love @huh01011 requested some smut to be added to this series, I must warn you all, I am not a smut writer, and there's not as much in it as I wanted it to be, but I tried to incorporate some in a way~ Also tagging pookie @cock-ainee who wanted to be tagged here ❤️
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Summer was a dreaded season in the Shinazugawa household.
The excessive moisture in the air made almost impossible to work the fields for the younger lads adding even more load to the already overworked Sanemi.
Sanehiko, who could stand such temperatures, was the only one able to aid his father with the animals and the fields as his beloved mother was feeling under the weather.
The last few weeks had been odd. After having such an eye opening conversation with the children, your mood had been sour, making Sanemi feel he had done something wrong.
Dealing with so many little ones, he assumed you were just a bit overwhelmed, baby Sae was still a very demanding baby and Senri, who just started walking on his own, has been climbing trees and running around like a madman, plenty of reasons to be a bit grouchy.
But that was far from reality.
“Sanehiko, where’s your mother?” Sanemi asked his eldest as he hauled the entire harvest of tomatoes on his back.
“Last time I saw her, she was cleaning her own puke near the bath.”
The sound of exploding tomatoes hitting the scorching hot ground made Sanehiko shudder at the thought of the lost produce, “WHAT? She was doing WHAT?”
“Ugh…she was…” the boy stuttered, his mother wont be pleased knowing some of the tomatoes were squashed down by his father’s annoyance and it was most definitely his fault…”She was…ummm…on the floor? Yes, she was on the floor, with a rag cleaning after her…” he smiled proudly, able to recount the facts with as much details as possible without sounding so aggravating.
“Why was she on the floor Sanehiko? Is your mother sick?” panic was written all over Sanemi’s face, if there’s something that terrifies him is the thought of ever loosing you.
Thinking back, Sanehiko realizes he isn’t even sure why his mother was in such predicament, making him feel worse for not stopping to help her, “Not sure father, Genma is the one in charge of mother…I had to come get the milk out on time…”
“Tch, bring the tomatoes inside.” without a second thought, Sanemi marched back inside the house, in search of his darling wife who seemed to be feeling even worse than he thought.
When he found you, Genma was rubbing your belly in soothing circles while you clutched a pillow close to your face, “Hey, my love…what’s wrong…?” his tone of voice was laced with honey, he hated seeing you in distress and he knew you’ve been struggling lately.
“Nemi…” your voice was so weak almost a whisper, he could barely hear you.
“Yes, baby tell me…” holding your hand, he crouched down beside you, giving your knuckles an adoring kiss.
“I-…another one is coming…”
“What do you mean, babe?” realization hit him hard, your pale face, the morning discomfort, lack of appetite, uncomfortable nights…”Oh….OH?…you’re pregnant again, my love??” his eyes went from imminent despair to happiness overload in a mater of seconds, making you chuckle.
“I think so yeah, pretty sure actually, Nemi…isn’t it too fast…? I…I honestly thought Sae would be the last one…at least for a while...”
“Do you not feel comfortable having more children, baby?” sadness could be heard in his voice, but he would respect your wishes, no matter what they were.
“It’s not that, my love…it’s just…my body is still tired, Sae is still breastfeeding, I guess this time is really taking a toll on me, that’s all. Of course I want to bring your babies to this world.” your gentle reassurance brought him back to life, you were all that mattered to him, his entire life, a gift he had been given, one he would protect at all cost.
Forgetting his tiny son was around is one of Sanemi’s traits now a days, Genma was listening to the entire thing, mauling things over in his little head silently while you held each other, his sister however, had been hiding under the window seal, also listening.
“Mama, what’s pr’gnant?” Remi climbed her way into the room through the window, quickly sitting beside Genma.
“It’s when mommy has a baby inside of her, angel.”
Genma gasped loudly, “You did this to her, didn’t you father?! That night! I knew it, you hurt her!”
“No, no baby. Your father didn’t hurt me…he gave us another member of our family, it’s just…you know summer is tough on me, my love, having a baby inside is harder at the beginning, I’ll be ok in a few weeks, I promise.”
Sanemi was speechless, he couldn’t believe his son kept insisting on him hurting you, like if that was actually a thing, he was incapable of hurting a single hair of your head and he would have thought his own son would know this.
“But mother! You shouldn’t have to be this sick! We are already so many in this house! I don’t want you to be sick! Please stop putting babies inside of her, father!” the toddler started wailing, his sister not completely understanding why he was in such distress, hugged him gently. “Mama is ok, nii-nii, don’t cry…”
Sanehiko came into the room when he heard his brother crying, Sae sleeping on his back while Senri was holding his hand, “Genma? What’s wrong?”
“Mama ate a baby and he’s sad…”
“She what?” this time Senri was the one who started crying, his sister’s words scaring the hell out of him.
“I’m pregnant again, love. That’s all.”
“Oh yeah, I thought so. We heard you after all, that’s just how it works, right father?” Sanemi just nodded absentmindedly, while he was happy with the news, he started questioning his fathering skills lately. Genma clearly doesn’t trust him and even thinks he’s capable of hurting his mother, what could possibly led him to think that way? Was he a good father even? He knows he’s strict, having to provide for such a large family isn’t easy, discipline is needed, but he loves his children and he thought they knew it…
Getting up from his spot beside you without saying a word, he walked outside of the house and up a small hill he goes to when he needs to think. Contemplating his own mistakes was more daunting that he ever imagined, memories of Genma’s constant terrified face hunting him.
Sanehiko left the babies in your care and ran after his dad, “Father, are you ok? Mother looked worried…Is the baby sick?”
“No…no, the baby is fine…is your brother who worries me..”
“You mean Genma? Or Senri?” he plopped beside his dad, both had the exact same pose, legs crossed, a half scowl on their faces, it was like seeing himself in a mirror, just that without scars.
“Genma…”
Nodding, Sanehiko let out a sigh, he understands his dad’s predicament, Genma isn’t a difficult kid, he is actually quite a sunshine, but he is obsessed with his own mother and that makes Sanemi’s odds against him most of the times.
“He stopped crying already, father. It’s not that he doesn’t want another sibling, he just doesn’t like it when mother is sick. This time she really is in bad shape though, is it the heat again?”
“Yeah…heat has always been hard on her, specially when she’s in her first trimester…” that made Sanehiko think, none of his siblings had been in that part of pregnancy during summer, not that he can remember at least. “Really? Was it Genma?”
“No, it was you actually…” the memory of you throwing your guts out of the window during summer nights made a faint smile grace his lips.
“Was I a difficult baby, father?” Sanemi’s smile just kept growing with the memories, “Not at all, you were the quietest of all, a true gift…” 
Sanehiko had never seen his father this soft before, it felt oddly comforting knowing he was talking about him just now. “Did I give mother a hard time then? I feel like we’ve never talked about this before…” 
It was crazy, but true. Having to run a farm kept you both very busy and the more babies came, the harder its been to just sit down with your eldest and have a nice chat.
“We were young and inexperienced when you came to this world. For the longest time we thought you were a virus because she couldn’t eat a single thing without puking…” a soft chuckle left his lips as he remembers those sleepless nights of him rubbing your back until you could fall asleep on his lap, holding you while the moon shone above you, illuminating your beautiful face. Those days were quiet, nothing like the ones you have today, and honestly, he kind of misses them. Having you all to himself all day, all night…the intimacy and love remains, but there’s limitations to what he can or cannot do now.
Sanehiko chuckled along shaking his head, a clear image of his mother being painted by his father. “How did you guys know it was me and not a virus then?”
“Hmmmm…after a lot of arguing, I threw your mother over my shoulder and took her to see the doctor downtown, she wasn’t eating and it was making me anxious…”
“You're just like Genma, father.”
“Huh? What do you mean just like Genma? He’s the least similar to me from all your siblings.”
He shook his head, smiling “He’s just like you, father. Mother yawns and one of you is right by her side with a blanket, she coughs and there’s fresh tea in front of her in seconds. She makes a slight noise and the entire house is checking on her, those are the Shinazugawa genes, father, they come from you.” 
Maybe he was right, maybe he and Genma had more in common that he thought, getting the child to see that would be harder though.
“So, you took mother to the doctor. What’d he say?” this is the first time Sanehiko has story time with his father since he’s a little kid, it made him feel fuzzy inside and wanted to hear more of his upbringing.
Sanemi seeing his interest, turned to face him with a grin on his face, “Then he tells us she isn’t sick but round and full with our first child. I still remember that day like it was yesterday, man was I happy…” 
“You were happy because I was inside of mother?” he wasn’t expecting to hear that, while he knows his father loves getting his mother pregnant, he isn’t one to celebrate or smile like that.
“Of course! There was nothing I wanted more back then than to see your mother stuffed full with my child. I can’t expect you to understand this yet, but there is nothing better than knowing a piece of you lives inside the woman you love…”
“A piece of you…am I a piece of you, father?”
“Damn straight you are, son. Half of me, half of your beautiful mother, the result of our never ending love…”
“I’m the result of your love…” Sanehiko has never felt this loved before, his parents are usually very caring and understanding, but hearing his stoic father saying such a thing made his eyes fill up with tears.
“You really love mother, don’t you father?”
“More than I could ever thought possible, son…” Sanemi’s smile was pure, soft, love could be felt from the air around him, it was palpable.
“And…us?” while he was scared of asking, he knew his father loved him, yet somehow he needed validation.
“I love every single one of you with all my heart. Even when it doesn’t seem like it.”
Sanehiko scooted closer, wrapping his arms around his father in a way to comfort his aching heart, “We know you do.” resting his cheek on his son’s fluffy hair, they stay there in silence, until you called out for your eldest for help.
Sanemi decided to stay a little longer contemplating life once more.
Thinking about the days when you two were younger and so very much in love brought a permanent smile to his face. 
Sanehiko’s arrival was indeed the peak of his lifetime.
When you agreed to let him move with you to the farm for good, it took just a couple of hours before he had you pinned to the bathroom wall, this time without clothes in between, marks of his passion for you littering your beautiful silky skin, those gorgeous lips parted for him and screaming his name as he rammed into you nonstop, quite the memory really.
And it continued for a while, every day and night the growing needs to posses you, to fill you up with his essence, was overbearing. He needed the world to see you were claimed, to see you were his and his alone, that every single bit of skin on that beautiful body of yours was his, that your heart and all your love within it was exclusively just for him.
Memories of your face contouring with pleasure as he sucked on your perfect perky breasts like it was his last meal, the screams leaving your pretty lips and carrying his name through the wind every time he pushed himself within you as deep as he could and then some. The heat inside of you squeezing him dry, then making him hard once again at how good it felt to have you cum around his aching manhood, at how tightly you clenched around him with your core, holding onto him like if your life depended on it. He truly misses those days when his name echoed in every single wall of the house, your melodic moans and the sound of your heavy breathing all that could be heard for miles.
But when he held his first child in his arms, his world got upside down. He just didn’t know what to do with himself.
While he had witnessed all the birthing of his siblings, he had never felt such a bond before. The way Sanehiko’s eyes were barely open, how he held to his large manly thumb for dear life and hugged it to sleep, how he would snuggle on his chest and just lay there for hours just changed him.
You were his angel, his wife, the woman he loved from almost the moment he met you. A true gift from the heavens, but this baby…this little human in his arms….he was the outcome of your passion, of your fierce love for one another, he held all your dreams, your future, this tiny little thing who fit in his palm was the reason you both lived to that day, he was your anchor, the very core of your family, your reason to get up every day and make a living out of that devastated farm.
Sanehiko meant hope, joy, love. His first child, the one he so wished to have, his pride.
While he thought you’d be pregnant right after Sanehiko was born, because being real, he had his way between your legs daily; Genma didn’t come for a while.
You had time to bond with your first child, get to know him, play with him, teach him how to tend the animals. Being a parent isn’t easy, a first born gets to experience all the ‘firsts’ after all, but overall the learning experience helped you both create patterns for the future babes. While none of the kids were alike, at least it gave you a foundation already stablished to raise your children, and it worked quite well. Until lately, that is.
The heat was finally dimming down a little signalizing the day was coming to an end, the need to check on you being more significant than the dread he felt of facing Genma.
Heading inside the house he noticed Sanehiko was reading a story to the younger kids, Remi being already asleep on his leg. The sight made him smile, memories of little newborn Sanehiko still fresh in his mind.
In your room, Genma was still looking a bit sulky but you looked way better, lunch already gone from your system.
“Hey beautiful…felling better?” he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You’re normally not as physically affectionate in front of the children, but you could feel your man needing comfort.
“I am, baby. Don’t worry, our child is going to be as healthy as the rest, of that I’m sure. You know the heat hunts me when I’m pregnant…” your soft giggles made him smile, “Yeah I was telling Sanehiko that story earlier, how you’d puke every night and could only sleep on my lap…” his smile turned to a smirk, his lips finding your neck to give it a little nip.
“Mmmmm yeah…good old times…we need to time babies better so I never have to spend another first trimester in summer again though…” groaning you turned your head to bury your face in his soft hair, his natural scent was just so comforting, it made you feel better almost immediately.
“Yeah, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to…” his soft tone and apology startled Genma, he’s rarely ever heard his father saying his sorry for anything, let alone be this gentle.
“I’m just as guilty of this as you are, my love. You don’t need to apologize. On the contrary, thank you for giving me another treasure…” the feeling of your soft nose buried in his hair was making him feel so emotional. Earlier he had felt like he sucked at being a parent but after bonding over it with Sanehiko and reminiscing of the time he was born, he just feels so complete…
“Thank you, babe…without you…I wouldn’t….I…I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d be without you…” his words were chocked up, Genma was still in shock, he could feel the emotional state of his broken father filling up the air.
“Father…are you ok…?” Genma held onto Sanemi’s leg, hugging it with his tiny body. It’s been a while since he feels his toddler’s warmth.
“I am son, thank you for asking.” 
“Father…I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier, I don’t understand this baby thing very well…but I know you wouldn’t hurt mother now…” Sanemi’s heart grew three sizes, he didn’t know he needed to hear this so badly, but turns out he did.
“You know? Sanehiko told me earlier that you’re very similar to me…that your obsession with your mother is all my fault for being your father…” that made you laugh, while it is true, it’s kind of ridiculous.
“You two are very similar that’s true, loving, gentle, big hearted sweethearts and gorgeous babes~” the last part made Genma fall into a crazy fit of giggles.
“Mother, how was I as a baby? I know Nii-chan was very attached to father, was I always attached to you?”
“Well yes, you’ve always been very much a mama’s boy…but when you were born…God…I had to line up to get some time with you, your father would hog you away and keep you all to himself all the time, even Sanehiko was jealous back then!” 
“I did not hog our child, ok? I was just…happy…” Genma’s little ears turned bright pink, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“You were happy because I looked like my uncle?” while that was part of it originally, it wasn’t just that, he truly had a wonderful bond with his sons, he was happy to welcome a new one after so long, Sanehiko was already a toddler back then and having such a cute little baby coddled up on his chest would make his heart sing every time.
“No, when you were born you were bald, we didn’t even know you would have dark hair.” that was a lie, but it made the child glow with happiness, being cared for just for his similarities to his uncle is something he’s feared his whole life.
“Bald? I didn’t know I was an ugly baby!”laughing wildly, Sanemi lets go of your waist to pick his son up in his arms, “Nah you were the cutest baby I’ve ever laid eyes on…”
“Cuter than Sae? She’s real cute, father…” his little hands wrapped around Sanemi’s head, his cute tiny nose nuzzling the side of his face as he giggles happily, this sort of affection normally reserved just for you, made Sanemi think he might have been finally forgiven by his son.
“Oh she is, alright, she looks just like your mama. But you…your eyes were so full of love even when you were a day old…I’ll never forget the first time you smiled at us…We knew we were blessed that day…” Genma has never been this clingy with Sanemi, but it felt just right, it reminded him of a young Genya clinging onto him for support and for comfort, days that had been long forgotten, days he holds dear in his heart, those days filled with nothing but happiness, those came back thanks to you, thanks to the beautiful family you two were able to build based on love and trust.
Being a father isn’t easy, and six is indeed a very large number, but he would do it all over again as many times as needed just to see the smile in your face every time they’re around.
“But father, are you going to explain me now how does the baby pee work? Can you make more when she has a baby inside already? Do they line up? Or do you like turn it off? I’ve been smelling your tea, I didn’t notice anything different, I still want to know what you need to drink to make babies…”
“Oh god…not again…”
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josephquinnswhore · 10 months ago
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it ain’t weakness, baby - joel miller x female reader
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Summary: Joel survived Abby’s brutal encounter, but has left him with major mental and physical disabilities.
Word Count: 2k
Content Warning: mentions of reader having ptsd, blood, amputation, scars, disabilities, murder. blowjob, Joel whining and begging????? cumming in mouth. female masterbation/orgasm. Joel praising reader. insecurity. Joel treating reader like shit. implied age gap.
Note: yeah.. I kinda ruined my own heart with this one.. anyway, enjoy!
Things weren’t the same. They’ll never be the same. That’s what Joel said, over and over. Saying anything he could in order to push you away, to try and build back the wall between you that you’d seamlessly picked away at.. brick by brick all them years ago.
His old age wasn’t his hinderance. His physical disability wasn’t his hindrance. Though, these were his painful claims, that he couldn’t bare to see your youth wasted on someone like him. A no good—worthless old cripple. That’s what he called himself..
“You’re wasting the best years of your life on me! There are plenty of healthy and capable men that could take care of you here! Just.. just go and find someone else!” He’d spat through gritted teeth, his insecurity gnawing at his insides after he saw a younger man offering your hand at the Christmas dance.
Joel Miller had sunken into the dark and ever falling abyss of self destruction and isolation, daring to say cruel things to you, to push you away.
He’ll never admit it’s the last thing he truly wanted, in fact he was terrified of the thought of you leaving.
One day he found out what you did.
“Tell me you’re not that stupid.” He insults, glaring at you from the recliner he’d come so attached to.
“I did. Tommy and Ellie and I, we fucking did it Joel. They’re dead, all of them, we made them suffer. I made her suffer before I buried her sorry ass for ever touching you!” The argument was bound to get heated, after all, they were talking about the girl that mutilated Joel and left him disabled.
“Do you realise what she could’ve done to you? Look at what she did to me!” He snarled. “Goddamn fools the lot of you!”
He didn’t want you to leave, to stop fighting for him. But he convinced himself he was worthless. He saw it; the looks people gave him, sympathy strewn on their faces. Sympathy he didn’t need. He was fine.
It was the irony of it all. He told himself he was fine, he didn’t need help, he could somehow maintain some semblance of control and independence. No matter the wheelchair, or the crutches. Yet, he would snarl and snap at you, unwilling to keep you close. He would angrily claim he was worthless, useless.
“I can do it!” He growls, shrugging off your hand from the metal crutches, his first time using them as a result of his amputated leg. Refusing any help, as he had done every single day for the past few months.
Perhaps at one point, you did grow tired of it. Of his inability to try. After months of trying and limited resources, you’d tried to teach Joel how to write again, how to play guitar, how to sculpt, how to fix.
“Baby come on, please! Just try again for me. Five more minutes then I promise we can stop.” You pleaded, and were met with a dismissive snarl.
“I ain’t no damn kid so stop treating me like one. I’m done with this!” The pen was sent flying, ink splattering all over his favourite journal, which you’d spent a few hours delicately cleaning to save the important book.
You were trying to get him to live. To have the independence he so desperately craved, but he was stubborn, always had been. He was his own worst enemy.
You were even kind enough to take the only spare time you had, to build him a wheelchair accessible ramp, it was weeks worth of labour, and trading a tonne of sentimental personal items to trade for the wood and nails. Yet, it remains unused, even now, as it rains and the snow coats the wood, they begin to rot and wither. All your hard work and dedication to your husband had gone completely unnoticed.
Yet, for some reason, you never quit on him.
“Stop scowlin at me like that and just try, would you?”
He grunted, his hand trembled, the majority of his soup fell off the spoon. With whatever strength he had, he tossed the spoon onto the floor, as it clattered along the wood, it sends soup flying all up the wall. The bowl soon clatters to the ground before you can catch it.
The bowl was heavy, and the sound of it on the hardwood floors sent your movements to a halt—frozen. Your ears ringing as if it were that forsaken shotgun again, tearing a hole through Joel’s leg, flesh and blood splattering against the carpet rug and the floor. Stumbling, you take a moment to yourself, rushing out of the living room and into the kitchen.
The noise over and over replaying in your mind, the golf club coming down on Joel’s head, sure you would witness the love of her life being brutally murdered in front of your eyes. What Joel didn’t know, as far as he assumed, that you had these triggers as a result of ptsd.
The ticking of the clock in the kitchen becomes unbearable and you find yourself back in the living room.
Waiting for you, is another mess of his you’d have to clean.
“It feels like you’re not even trying anymore Joel. It’s been months—why can’t you see I’m trying to help you!” You insist.
“I don’t need your help!” He growled bitterly.
“So you’re just going to sit in that stupid fucking chair till you die huh? Is that it?” Finally reaching the breaking point after your recent trigger, tears cascade down your red cheeks.
His scowl softened, into a look she hadn’t seen since the incident happened. He battles his ego and his stubbornness to finally reach a hand out to you, his shaking fingers just graze your own.
“Baby—you know I don’t mean it.” He murmurs hopelessly. “I’m—I’m sorry. I appreciate you tryin’.”
The atmosphere changes in the air, the winter suddenly doesn’t feel so harsh, and the breeze that slides through the crack in the window frame can’t be felt over the warmth of the heater that Joel nests by.
You kneels down onto the floor, taking his trembling hand. “I’m not giving up on you. When we took our marriage vows I fucking meant them. Just let me be here for you. It’s killing me that you’re trying to push us apart. Please.”
For some reason, your plea pierced his old heart with such reverence that he doesn’t argue, he relaxes his tense shoulders and murmurs, “okay.”
Finally, acceptance, peace. The white flag was being waved. Seventy two days of fighting was finally over.
“Shouldn’t be.. on your knees like that baby. You—you’ll get sick.” The worry in his voice had another kind of anxiety behind it.
One that you soon found the reasoning of.. his cock.. stiffer in his pants than you’d seen it in months. “Don’t tell me you’ve been suffering all this time.” You gasp in disbelief.
His aimless gaze and silence was enough to confirm the accusation. He’d been so sexually frustrated.. that he hadn’t been able to cum.
“This is why you’ve been so upset.” You murmurs. “Isn’t it?”
He answers with a simple and shameful nod, you press a kiss to his hand, ready to offer him a solution. “Can.. Can I help you?”
The question takes him off guard, his thick and greying eyebrows meet together in a low frown.
“Why would you want to touch me? I’m .. I’m a goddamn freak—“
“You shut up and let me decide what I see you as Joel Miller.” You scold. “I see someone strong, brave, handsome.”
He scoffs, but it doesn’t deter you. Instead it only motivates you more. Leaning up against the recliner, your chest on the left side meets the fabric, where his leg had to be amputated from the thigh downward, due to the inflicted shotgun wound.
“I see a man so incredibly capable, of living, thriving. Needing help doesn’t make you weak, baby. Let me take care of you.”
His trembling hands struggle to unclasp the stubborn button on his jeans. “Hey, just let me look after you baby. Relax.” You insist softly.
Making quick work of his button and zipper, your cool and small hands make his cock look enormous as it springs out of his jeans, rock hard. Has it always been this big? Perhaps the illusion of deprivation has her mind as desperate as her dripping cunt. Even your mouth begins to salivate, gulping as you come eye level with the small clear bead of precum.
Without warning, you lurch forward, pressing a small kiss to the red and aching tip, before swirling your tongue around the bulbous head.
“Ah, ah fuck baby,” he whines, sharply inhaling a breath, his good hand moves to grip the back of your head, begging for you to swallow him.
His desperate pleas only serve the purpose of rilling you up, with the gentle touch of his fingertips in your hair, desperately clutching at a fistful of your hair..
Opening your mouth wider to fit his enormous girth, halfway down and you’re already gagging. He whimpers, sounding the most vulnerable she’s heard since their last intimate encounter. Sneakily, you slide a hand down to your entrance, sliding your fingers inside to collect some of the slick before, sliding them upwards towards your enlarged and throbbing clit. whine is muffled by his cock.
You push on, feeling the mushroom tip sliding down your throat as you gag, covering his cock in your warm and sticky saliva. His untamed coarse public hairs tickle your nose.
The noises were absolutely despicable and lewd, the way you took the whole length of him, gagging at every descend, it was a sensation that had him trembling underneath you. His trembling hand attempts to clutch the arm of the recliner.
“Baby, baby stop.” He begged. “Not.. I’m not gonna last.” His breath quickens and as he tensed up, you take his length out of your mouth, but he quickly thrusts back into it, craving the warmth and the pleasure of the hole.
“Don’t stop, hmph please don’t stop.” He pleaded in a whine, Joel Miller, begging you.
You felt your stomach tightening, the pleasure of your fingers on your soaking clit, swirling at the perfect pace and Joel’s soft voice begging. You moan around his cock as your legs tremble underneath you.
Joel finally catches on and it’s the last straw for him before he throws his head back onto the recliner and grunts, the growl that leaves his lips is primal and comes from his throat. “Fuck—such a good girl.” He stutters and thrusts his hips upward, filling your mouth and throat with him, sending his ropes of warm cum straight down your throat, you drink, like it’s the last source of energy you’ll ever receive.
His hand unclenches from your hair as he feels himself shrinking inside of your mouth, encouraging you to look up at him, and you do. You’re met with Joel, looking at you with all the love and adoration and affection you deserve.
“Come here baby.” He murmurs, his thumb caresses your cheek as you look up at him. Climbing up onto his lap, you rest your head on his shoulder.
“Could.. could you please pull the recliner back?” His voice escapes timidly. Here he was, asking for your help; finally.
With a swift movement, you pull on the latch on the side of the recliner and the bottom end swings upward, now you’re both laying, your hand reaches for a warm blanket on the nearby couch, and toss it over the two of you.
“Thanks for not giving up on me.” The world circle in her ears, and she runs her thumb over the large scar on his forehead that spans to his temple and eyebrow. “I wouldn’t ever dream of it.”
“I love you, Mrs Miller.” Is the last thing your happy heart hears before your eyes flutter, peace and pleasure lulling you into a dream.
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pianokantzart · 10 months ago
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I found out that Bowser was going to be meaner in the Mario movie and that they made him more likable in the final move.
Like Bowser in the final movie tries to destroy the mushroom kingdom and preform a ritualistic sacrifice, hold Luigi to later kill to make Mario suffer, his love for Peach is faker than plastic, he treats his minions like trash.
Like outside of being funny Bowser has no good qualities, and I can only think about how he would have been.
Yeah, I remember reading somewhere that figuring out his personality was one of the most difficult parts of writing the script, and they kept making him too much like a "Marvel Villain" (or something along those lines.)
They definitely went the right direction by leaning into the "hopeless romantic" angle and playing up his insecurities. The way he fawns awkwardly over his crush? writes shallow romantic ballads while imagining her swooning? nervously rehearses one-liners? If that was all it was, it'd be adorable!
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You see the seeds of what could have been good qualities. His sensitivity could've garnered compassion and his determination could've made him a good ruler rather than a good conquerer. It's the fact that he's both unable to accept "no" in any capacity and makes his personal insecurities the responsibility of everyone around him that make him so scary.
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He obsesses over what he can't have and enjoys nothing more than the utter destruction of anything that dares to stand in his way, hence the weird adoring/vengeful behavior he exhibits toward Princess Peach. Peach is both something he wants and the thing telling him "no," and as a result he wants to take ownership of her and tear her down simultaneously... marrying her amidst a mass slaughter of her old allies and destroying her kingdom the moment she resists.
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He is both terrifying and pathetic, so wrapped up in himself he can't see that he's a black hole of desires, constantly destroying his own chances at happiness in pursuit of an idealized version of validation. He's somewhat likable because you can relate to his vulnerability, and the way he awkwardly fumbles with his own romantic feelings is incredibly entertaining, but boy oh boy he is not anything close to a good person.
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stitchwraith-stingers · 1 month ago
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sorry for never shutting up about how people treat hazel but ohh my god shes my fave character atm.... i get to be mad!! she has good enough information that you can play around with headcanons freely
the only moments people wouldve brung up is when dev is in the episode, there was no reason for the episode that showed her tendancy to overthink and be emberassed over small mistakes by wishing a do-over and over again, having to realise that running away from the idea of creating a problem wont help her in the long run JUST so people could go "omg haha dev has a crush on her" i could litterly not tell you what the general concensious on most episodes are because i dont know peoples opinions on them because in general they dont discuss them beyond his scenes
fanart too, ive personally muted the dev and devzel tag and when i look up #hazel wells i want you to guess how many posts i find that arent hidden! spoiler alert its barely any of them, listen im not saying im shocked at the fact The Characters Made As A Duo are drawn as a duo, its whatever and while im not personally a fan in general i really do get the appeal, but you have to admit that at some point it gets really suspicious when the only fanart you can find in one character is only with the more popular one, over 200 fics in the hazel tag on ao3 and theres only 20! without the dev tag! (10 more then when i last checked, crazy! go read fly bird, fly now), and my main problem is is that hazel is shown to be her own person OUTSIDE of their friendship, infact wouldnt you know it shes the protagonist herself! the fact that most aus ive seen are focused on dev/dale/peri is whats most confusing to me, "oh but theyre so interesting to work with"
really! youre telling me you cant think of a fic / au idea on her own? miss "i was going to have a previous godparent who didnt listen to me at all", miss "i am very anxious and i overthink to the point where my desicions", miss "i had an encounter with my evil shadow self when i was a fairy" (shout out to fairy bound au btw, im a big fan), miss "my mom doesnt fully know how to handle children inspite of being a therapist and tells me im handling things mature so i feel like i should be", miss "with the fact that im terrified my friends are making fun of me behind my back, i didnt know how to talk to anyone and a cafetiria made me so overworried and i speak to my rocks could imply the fact that i was outcasted at a young age", miss "my brother who has been my anchor and i has taught me everything i need to know has left me and hes also struggling to adjust to everything and we were insanely close to the point where the reason this whole thing started is because of him", miss "i regularly help my dad hunt a ghost that doesnt exist but it makes him happy", miss "i am litterly friends with the coolest kid in elementary school", miss "my landlords are litterly doomsday preppers and our parents want me to get along with their werido twins", miss "i didnt even hestitate to kill myself if i had to save potatoes for humanity after i pissed off mother nature", miss 'i got called out on projecting my past bonding expiriences on my best friend by some werid demon posessing her body right infront of me' none of that makes you want to think of something about her on her own? not even a spark of an idea? its almost like you guys watched exclusively 6 episodes and watched 5 minutes out of them at most
hazel is very interesting and shows her own struggles, she likes puns and fries and rocks and anime and horror movies (and apparently mushrooms if you count that one scene), she tries to problem solve so that no one is unhappy (patty being alive so winn wasnt upset, trying to get the band and orchestra together, accidently haunting her house and wishing her dads day was extra special, trying to find a dinosaur she spontaniously teleported his own job), she has multiple episodes showing her insecurities and how she tries to hide it so she doesnt look like a bad person, but inspite of it all is a understanding person and a peacemaker and doesnt like arguments, hell shes even such good autism represntation im 99.9% sure it wasnt intentional at all
dont even get me started on the takes ive seen in the finale, listen the finale has alot to be said and it definatly wont be everyones cup of tea (i think them trying to refrence every episode felt so chaotic personally) but regarding people with the ending is still giving me a headache, "she shouldve used her wish on him" that wouldve been so boring and predicable, say what you want on what she actually used it for but i think you guys should realise that for the kid whos regressing back into his bad copium mechanisms should get to face his concequences, 'hes 10 and neglected so thats why he acted like that' and 'she doesnt need to put up with how he treats her and hold his hand and be his personal therapist' can both coexist, people being pissed that she lightheartly agreed that he fucked up when HE admitted it is crazyyy CRAZYYY (also the fact ive seen someone say 'her moms a therapist she shouldve known' ???)
this isnt even touching on "hazels other relationships like her friends and family arent developed enough so thats why ppl dont care that much" while that is a valid critism i have with the show in general i still dont think applys to what im specifically talking about to demonstrate dale has appeared in THREE episodes (four if you want to stretch it), meanwhile hazels parents have appeared more often and im barely seeing them in fanart "but dale has a backstory!" so do those two have a whole episode explaining how they met "b-but dale is interesting as a role as a villain!" the guy is barely a villain [so far atleast], but also is being a therapist and a parascienists already not an interesting enough? are you guys suddenly not able to make as much headcanons expanding apon them as you did with dale? thats the thing that confuses me the most, whats stopping you from giving random information from your head to anyone else?, (i didnt know how to word this point so hopefully this makes sense)
listen im going to say it right now MOST OF THIS IS DEFINATLY UNINTENTIONAL AND NOT EVERYONE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE but some of u guys might really need to uncover some biases on why you think the black girl should coddle the rich white boy when he wasnt treating her well at the time, if that makes sense
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french-unknown · 1 year ago
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𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓
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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: luffy, zoro, nami, usopp, sanji, robin 𝐂/𝐖: hurt/comfort 𝐖/𝐂: 950 +
| m a s t e r l i s t | - | p t . 2 |
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𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘
You're insecure because, unlike him who's passionate about his dream of becoming the King of Pirates, you don't have a big dream to fulfill.
You joined the crew because you wanted to leave a family in which you were unhappy and where your destiny was already mapped out until your death. Once you found a new family thanks to the Straw Hat crew, you decided to set sail on their ship to stay with them. You were happy with your daily routine as well as the adventures you were having, and that was enough for you. During the trip, you took the opportunity to start a book on life at sea as well as on the lifestyles of the inhabitants of the islands you had visited. However, it was more of a hobby than a real passion or a dream. So when you see Luffy giving all he got for his dream, you're afraid he'll think you're less interesting for not having a goal you care about so much.
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𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎
Zoro is a calm and silent man, especially since your reunion on the Sabaody Archipelago, so you're sometimes afraid that he'll get tired of your bubbly and very talkative personality. You were worried that he would wake up one day from one of his many naps and leave you because you required too much attention and time.
You have always been an outgoing person who liked to chat with people and be aware of the latest gossip. It had always been an advantage when you were alone in a new place or in new social groups. Yet when you were with Zoro, you sometimes found yourself wishing you could shut up. Indeed, where you spent hours telling the swordsman whatever goes through your mind under his attentive - though rather neutral - gaze, you found yourself regretting having talked so much afterward. You wondered if you had annoyed him and if he wouldn't prefer a less noisy person.
| he comforts you about your insecurity |
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𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈
After spending so much time with her on your adventures, if there's one thing you've learned about her, it's that she's very popular. She is beautiful, intelligent and you have no doubt that if she left you, she would have no trouble finding someone new given the list of suitors.
You've never been an extremely rich or extremely important person with rock-solid self-confidence so you didn't really see what made Nami choose you over all the people at her feet. It was a stroke of luck. She is also not very expressive about the reasons for her choice because she never clearly expressed what she liked about you. The dynamic of your relationship is mostly a teasing game on her part to which you gladly answer as long as she continues. But it sometimes makes you wonder when she'll let you down to find a better partner.
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𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐏𝐏
With Usopp, what scares you the most is your fear of rejection because since he's also someone who is insecure, you are afraid that you will both leave the relationship if something goes wrong because of your insecurities on both sides.
Usopp is a fearful person, and while he's willing to overcome some of his fears for his friends, his inferiority complex has caused him to quit the Strawhat Pirates once. On your side, you are also terrified of being rejected in general, so you often prefer to stay in your comfort zone. The fact that you have that in common means that you often understand each other and it is also what brought you closer to each other in the first place. However, you can't help but tell yourself that, if there is the slightest problem, he will prefer to abandon your relationship because of the fear of not being enough. And you might not be strong enough to get him back either.
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𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈
The man is a womanizer who, unfortunately, can't help but rave about every woman who crosses his path. It's stronger than him, he becomes unrecognizable in the presence of a woman.
So even though you know he loves you dearly, you can't help but feel insecure about women. Maybe if, in your own way, you were as beautiful as Nami or as smart as Robin, he wouldn't leave your side to court them. Yet, even though you realize that's not the right way to think about it and that he mostly admires them for their gender qualities as a "gentleman", you still feel that empty feeling when you see him going to swoon over every woman he sees. Each time, the only thought that crosses your mind is that, if you were attractive enough, he wouldn't let you down for strangers.
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𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍
Robin is very intelligent: she reads a lot, she can decrypts the poneglyphs, she is interested in many fields etc... However, you are very far from being the most intelligent person in Grand Line and you often wonder if you don't make her bored.
You love to listen to her speak about what she reads and you could drink her words for hours when she talks to you about subjects that fascinate her like archeology or the mysteries of history. You are captivated every time she says something to you, even if you don't always understand everything she tells you. You also follow her with great happiness each time she asks you to accompany her to discover the city - and its bookstore - as soon as you arrive on a new island. Sadly, the fact that you're not as smart as her often makes you ask yourself if she's bored with you or just missing out on being able to argue with someone rather than just relate.
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𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄
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magicaldragons · 9 months ago
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love (ˈləv) noun.
varadeva.
Deva is not your typical tortured protagonist.
Normally, characters that are acclimatized to violence have become that way because of circumstances throughout their life, or due to traumatic experiences.
but Deva?
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Deva was born with these tendencies. He wasn't molded by life into the violent being that he is now – he has always been that way. Violence was his first and most natural way of responding to any emotion that was too overwhelming for him.
• it must have been hard initially for Deva, growing up with no one to understand the way he worked intrinsically.
Deva, in his most natural state, is violence personified, but his mother isn't able to accept this aspect of his personality.
She detests it, in fact – and it's just gotten worse, especially now that she has witnessed in some way, the extent that Deva can go for varadha people things he feels strongly about.
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She refuses to watch him fight, and cannot bear to see him associated with violence in any way, shape, or form.
In short, she cannot accept him.
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While Deva's mom needs eyes on him at all times though,
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Varadha trusts him to do what is right.
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and this is Varadha's love for Deva:
this is what Varadha brings to the relationship; and it's so easy to overlook because it's something Varadha does so well.
He accepts Deva exactly the way he is.
and the fact that, throughout the movie, you never see a direct expression of Varada's love towards Deva, just proves that it never leaves in the first place – Varadha's love for Deva is persistent and unyielding.
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Varadha has embraced Deva's 'big emotions' since they were children, and the comfort this has fostered is so embedded within Deva that it's probably the only reason Deva can live with himself right now, especially with his mom convincing him he is a monster at every possible chance.
Deva's love for Varadha, on the other hand, is very obvious, because again: his emotions manifest very tangibly
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Deva knows what Varadha needs the most – he truly sees Varadha's insecurities and inherent complexity.
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Underneath Varadha's composure, restraint, and calm confidence, is a boy who is terrified of the future. of his father. for his brother.
Varadha sometimes says the opposite of what he feels in an effort to protect himself from vulnerability, but Deva has learnt to read him. Varadha doesn’t make his motives clear often, but Deva trusts him to reveal things in time. He never pressures Varadha for information, or questions him.
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• It even goes against every cell in Varadha's body to request protection and demand love, especially after the kind of treatment he's faced from those that should have been expected to show him love.
and Deva understands this, and is there to protect and love Varadha, without a second thought.
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It's a very mutual relationship, between two people who are there for each other exactly how the other needs them, and the fact that they never had to try to fit each other, just shows how much they're made for each other.
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— love, a definition: part three [part one / part two]
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barb-l · 2 years ago
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Wednesday's always getting called out for being whipped for Enid but I barely see anyone address that Enid is just as much of a hopeless fool for Wednesday so I just made the post myself. Here we go:
Despite being busy as hell and terrified of bees, she goes out of her way to help Wednesday out. And all she asks for in return is for Wednesday to apologize to Thing and make up with him
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She hatches this plan to trick Wednesday into going to a spooky crypt in the middle of the night for her birthday. I mean, how sweet is that? If Wednesday weren't so hyperfixated on the case, im sure she would've appreciated that.
Bonus: she somehow ropes all these kids into the party. Obviously Xavier would wanna go, but I highly doubt Ajax, Yoko, Divina, and Kent gave a shit about Wednesday and vice versa.
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She--- She made her the snood... How long did it take her to do that?? She was so excited to give it too...
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Being unable to shift has been a BIG source of Enid's insecurities throughout the whole show, yet she was gonna lie about it so she can sneak out with Wednesday for her birthday
Despite being terrified of the Hyde and rightfully furious with Wednesday, she goes back to the mansion because Wednesday was going back. She was fully ready to let Tyler die otherwise (lmao jk she probably just forgot about him)
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Came up with whatever shitty excuse just so she can see Wednesday. I get maybe once or twice, but three??? Within a DAY???? All while she was still mad AT her???? Sweetie...
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The fact that Wednesday didn't even have to apologize for Enid to come back. I'm not a big fan of it. I genuinely wanted Wednesday to admit that she was wrong. But I guess Thing almost dying when she wasn't in their room to protect him made Enid realize it'd mean she wouldn't be able to protect Wednesday either. The irony of leaving because she put Enid in danger, and then coming back after finding out the danger is very real and much closer than they think
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If we thought Wednesday was a mess when Enid moved out, lookit Enid when it was Wednesday's turn to leave
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Once again, Enid overcoming her fear of the Hyde and risking her life so she can save Wednesday. She really brings the courage out of her.
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She can barely stand, covered in blood and how many injuries, and yet all she can think about is whether Wednesday is okay. And when she finally sees her, she sprints, all injuries forgotten so she can tackle her into a hug. Boy she is smitten.
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pansy-picnics · 7 months ago
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A vat7k related question.
What do you think is Hugo's gender identity? Cus I want to hear what you think Hugo's gender is and the story behind it.
EHEHEHE personally i think she’s genderfluid and uses he/she/they pronouns…….I think he was kind of an uncracked egg up until the trials though. like, he’s been in survival mode for so long that he’s never had the time or luxury to really think about himself or his identity….i think he’s had a lot of different disguises over his career though, and those personas are either male or female depending on what the situation calls for so he’s not a stranger to dressing femininely either.
but yeah…i think for a long time hugo just identified as male by default cuz like…what else would he be LOL. if he had any doubts at all they weren’t significantly hindering him or anything so he just buried them with all the other of the emotions he doesn’t want to feel. but like the closet is made of GLASS and this becomes especially obvious when she teams up with 3 other teenagers who are also transgender so sometimes she’ll just Say Shit and they all turn around and look at her like “…….🤨”
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i have this very vivid scene in my head where varian comes out to the gang as trans and hes clearly really uneasy abt it. and hugo doesn’t know what to say so he just tries to relate by saying the first thing that comes to mind and goes “oh yeah i get it i mean. sometimes i wish i was a girl but like not all the time yk” and nuru and varian both just stop and stare at him
hugo, getting nervous: …Sorry that’s probably not the same thing forget i said anything
nuru: No i think we should talk about this?
anyways yeah….other than her traveling party giving her some weird looks nothing actually really came of these conversations bc hugo would refuse to think about herself even if you put a gun to her head
fast forward to post-trials though, and hugo’s been living in the castle with varian for about six months…it was REALLY messy for both of them while she was adjusting, but at this point shes finally started to let her guard down a little, and all of a sudden she has SO much free time and she has no idea what to do with any of it. she’s stealing collecting things, tinkering with all kinds of useless little gadgets, rapunzel is teaching her tons of little arts and crafts projects. overall shes pretty content despite everything. So anyways then the gender crisis hits them like a fucking freight train
honestly i’m like half joking when i say i think it started bc they just kept forgetting to cut their hair. like one day they looked in the mirror and they’re like “wow my hairs getting so long i kinda look like a girl lol. Wait”
AND AS FUNNY AS IT IS ITS SO. WILDLY UNFAMILIAR TO THEM. like all of a sudden theyre SO insecure for as far as they can tell, NO reason and it drives them CRAZY. i dont even think that hugo dislikes their masculine features after coming out, i think they embrace them if anything but its just like…going from 0 to 100 so fast and suddenly being so hyper aware of themselves in a way that they NEVER were before…having to realize that they’re definitely Not cis. it’s fucking TERRIFYING!!!
not to mention it hits him all at once during a time when he’s still frankly really paranoid about him and varian’s relationship, and he’s kinda walking on eggshells bc deep down he’s convinced that var’s just gonna get tired of him eventually and kick him out. its like he’s just waiting for the final nail in the coffin despite the fact that there is literally no coffin.
All that being said i think it takes him a while to work up the courage to talk to varian about it. and he knows he won’t like. hate him for being trans or anything (I sure hope he wouldn’t, at least, seeing as he is literally also trans) but varian’s already done SO much for him and helped him through literally everything already….he doesn’t want to burden him any more than he already has. he also cant comprehend that someone can just Like him, like, as a person, so he’s convinced himself that varian must see something specific in him right now and he’s afraid that if he changes himself drastically in any way then whatever varian saw in him just. won’t be there anymore. If that makes sense
as for who he actually goes to first- honestly i think it’d have to be lance. at least in my head lance was the first person hugo really started to bond with aside from varian….he didn’t start letting his guard down with rapunzel until quite a while after that. also i think he’s worried that if he tells rapunzel she’d end up accidentally spilling something to varian (which is like. Valid bc she’s a horrible liar) he’d definitely write a letter to nuru, too, but nuru is also in another kingdom, and that message takes a while to get to her, so it’s more something they talk about after the fact
when he finally does get a letter back after dumping this revelation on her it’s just like
“dearest hugo. upon reading your letter i desperately wanted to tell you that i told you so, but i realize that would be in poor taste, seeing as you are clearly struggling right now. Moreover,-“ /j
regardless of who she tells first, they obviously all support her and encourage her to talk to varian as well…And ofc varian hypes her up to no end when she finally does. i wanna say it’s a sweet emotional scene but i feel like varian was also under the assumption that she figured out the gender thing like a year ago /j
hugo: ,,,,so like. i don’t think i’m a guy
varian: . yeah?
hugo:
hugo: TFYM “YEAH”?????!!!!???
varian: D. DID WE NOT ALREADY KNOW THIS?
hugo: ,???? NO???!!???!
jokes aside though as soon as hugo does decide he wants to explore his presentation more varian immediately consults rapunzel who gets WAY too excited about it and it kind of scares hugo a little bit. /j like Do you want to cut your hair? Dye it? Do you want new piercings? TATTOOS????
they eventually just settle on getting her a few new pieces to add to her wardrobe and that works out fine. varian sees his girlfriend in a dress and loses his mind etc etc. All is right in the world
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deathbxnny · 1 year ago
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Salutations good writer! I hope you're feeling better after your mental health break, and that whatever may have spurred it has been resolved! Now, if you are 100% open to taking reqs again, I'd like to propose a little platonic HC ask for the certain crew of a space-faring locomotive. Basically the, Astral Express crew (if you're cool with taking HSR asks, since I remember seeing you mention that you were feeling burnt out with those) finding out that their youngest (I'd say upper teens in terms of age range) member... has a lot of cybernetics. I'm talk an arm, half their upper body, and both their legs. And these cybernetics are a source of great insecurity for them, like they feel like they're beneath everyone, a lesser being, less of a human being. And as for why they hid it, well, it may have been an illogical train of thought, but it was because they, deep down, were terrified that the crew would end up validating those feelings if they ever found out. And this was information that they'd hidden from the rest of the crew for a good while, under layers of covering clothing, until during a recent mission that would result in their secret being revealed. I'm imagining it's either like, they jump in front of another crew member, or the crew need to urgently retrieve an item, or pull some sort of switch, but where that item or switch lays is too dangerous for any of them to just reach in unless to want their hand and/or arm melted or ripped off. Any of them, except for the reader. Who does just that. Either way, their clothes are damaged, and their secret is exposed for all to see.
-----♡
A/N: I love the way you talk like a mid-century, mysterious merchant, who sends you on a life altering quest, before disappearing into the shadows of the forest, satisfied with the evil they've committed for the day on the unsuspecting adventurer... Also, thank you for your interesting request lmao-
Content: Teen reader having robotic limbs, hurt/comfort, slight angst, unserious in some parts, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!
((Not fully proofread))
-----♡
》March 7th
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She found out about your robotic limbs during a fight against some enemies. Your arm malfunctioned, loosening off your shoulder, which made you instinctively grab it to keep it in place. March thought that you had gotten injured and quickly tried to aid you by grabbing your arm too, despite you telling her that it was alright.
She didn't listen and quickly had to pull you out of the way from an attack, making her accidentally take your entire arm off with her. You both stood there frozen, including the baffled enemy, as you just stared at your arm in March's shaking hands. Your insecurities quickly flared up, as you tried scrambling for an excuse. But you were cut off by March's high-pitched scream of horror, since she thought that she had somehow ripped your entire arm off.
The enemy eventually just left out of sheer embarrassment, as you had to be the one comforting March about your arm and explain to her that everything was fine. At least you didn't feel too bad about it anymore, if anything, it was maybe even funny for once.
-----♡
》Welt Yang
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Welt always somehow knew that you were hiding something, but never dared push you on the topic. Instead, he made it clear that you can talk about anything that bothers you to him. He was open to anything, in fact, he has seen practically everything the world had to offer. Nothing surprised him anymore and he made sure you knew that. So really, he was just patiently waiting for you to one day tell him what it was, that visibly bothered you so much every day.
And the day finally came, when you couldn't fix your leg that was broken in a battle. You were frustrated and angry, unable to fix it no matter what you did. You didn't want anyone seeing you like this and therefore hid yourself in your room until you could solve the issue. But the crew eventually got worried for you and send Welt to check up on you. He knocked, asking you if he could come in and after an eternity of silence, you sigh and give up, before letting him in. You tearfully sat on your bed in defeat, your robotic leg on full display, thinking he'll now degrade you for it.
But he surprised you, as he simply kneeled down at your bed and asked you to give him your tools, so that he could fix it for you. He asked no questions and just worked away, until he finally fixed it for you with ease. He didn't need to say anything and you didn't either, just silently appreciating him for the wordless kindness he had just shown you.
-----♡
》Himeko
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Himeko only noticed your robotic limbs, when you returned from a mission completely beaten up. Your sleeves were torn off your arms and your cybernetic limbs on full display for her to see. Your head was hanging in shame, as you nervously and anxiously waited for her ridicule you thought you'd get.
But that never came and instead, she just gently hugged you and quickly tended to your wounds. She asked no questions and just patiently waited for you to tell her all about your limbs, whilst she calmly patched you up. She wiped away your tears and patted your head, reassuring you that everything was going to be alright and that your secret is safe with her, if you don't want to share this with everyone just yet.
She from then on made sure you had better cybernetics that didn't break or malfunction and kept your secret just like she promised to. She was always to hear and still your insecurities, as she didn't think that they were anything to be ashamed of.
-----♡
》Dan Heng
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Dan Heng once caught a glimpse of your cybernetic limbs, yet never said a word about to anyone. He for one didn't think it was his place to do so and also didn't think it was such a big deal in the first place. So he wasn't all to phased, when your arm shattered during a fight and was revealed to indeed not be real. The only thing he was worried about, was if you were alright or not.
He finishes up the battle quickly to make sure you're alright and not injured. Though seeing you so visibly shaken up and ashamed makes him freeze up with worry for a second. He certainly didn't except you to be so insecure about them, even if you hid them from everyone. He gives you silent support by helping you quickly get a replacement arm and making up some lies, so that the crew didn't know anything, until you were ready to tell them yourself.
He continues to not make a big deal out of it afterwards and instead tells you that your limbs make you even more interesting, in hopes of cheering you up through it.
-----♡
A/N: Alright, I hope this was okay! Thank you again for the request!<33
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brucewaynehater101 · 5 months ago
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do you have any ideas and lore for cryptids batfam im curious what your take on batfam that are not human or batman is the only human (because batman character is being human) i once found a fic where the batfam (minus bruce and steph cause she wasnt there at the time and i cant remember if Alfred also ) got turned to vampires but still lived normally (i cant remember what the fic name is)
or like if batman was faking being not human what would your take on the idea be
Hmm... I made a post a long time ago about the various creatures I felt would fit each batfam member. If you're looking for cryptid batfam members being based on certain legends or creatures, there's quite a few that would fit each one.
A particularly interesting plot point could be pre-death Jason being human when Dick and Tim are not. Jason gets revived as a wraith, ghoul, zombie, Phoenix, or whatever and his feelings of insecurity/inferiority increase both with his new status and the fact that Tim and Dick are/were Robin as crypids/creatures. Lovely angst.
I find fics where the batfam pretends to be cryptids a delight. I enjoy the chaos, the shenanigans, the engineering, and the schemes. Let them terrify people :)
I prefer fics where the Bats are various types of cryptids/creatures/monsters. While the ones where they are the same are enjoyable, it brings extra when they aren't similar. This is particularly true when the author matches the creature to the batfam member (such as Tim being fae due to his nature of lying, tricking people, and somehow being super alluring [in a friendship like way but also romantic]).
There's two fics I can think of off the top of my head. One of them, the batkids are just creatures. Bruce is human and he adopts them and cherishes them. Each batkid is vastly different (Dick is a type of doll, Jason is part gargoyle/concrete, and Tim is an ancient statue the Drake's unearthed). It was cool seeing how Bruce handled them and their different needs (how each kid "healed" and "ate" was not the same).
Another one has the batkids as more crytpid. Apparently, they are creatures that cause humans to feel so unsettled that they try to hurt or murder them. Bruce fights this instict to give the children love and care.
This fic is a neat one. Basically, the Bats died in various ways and came back to life as cryptids. It's been awhile since I read it, but def recommend
I tried finding those two other fics I mentioned, but a bit tired to go fic hunting.
If you're looking for a specific idea for cryptid batfam, let me know! Any dynamics? Want info on which creatures I think each Bat would be? Want angst?
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mindofwesley · 2 years ago
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Wasn’t Expecting That.
Nat x Reader. 
Word Count: 965
Warnings: Happiness. Sadness. Illness. Implications of sexy times. Implications of death. 
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Summary: A life well lived is a beautiful thing. 
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“Can I take your name?” 
When she caught your eye and you smiled, she felt her heart skip a beat.
It’s never happened before, but it took her by surprise.
She wasn’t expecting that.
Why did she suddenly have this warm feeling?
She just wanted coffee.
“Natasha.”
/
It’s been a month now and she remembers the exact moment she fell in love with you.
She had won you a stuffed animal at the carnival and the sparkle in your eye set fireworks off in her heart.
You leaned up and kissed her cheek. It was a delicate kiss, but it held so much meaning.
‘Love is for children.’ She thought shaking off the butterflies.
Then she felt your hand slipping into hers, lacing your fingers together before dragging her to get cotton candy.
She wasn’t expecting that.
/
Another month has come and gone.
She thought she might have misread the signs.
But then after a party you spent the night in her bed.
Tangled together between the sheets as you brought each other to ecstasy before falling into a peaceful slumber with your head on her chest and her arm secured around your body.
As morning broke, the sun shone on your features through the crack in the curtains, and you stirred as she ghosted her hand over your cheek.
Opening your eyes, you looked up at her and said, “well, I wasn’t expecting that.”
‘I love you.’ She whispered.
She said it so quiet she was sure you missed it.
She could tell by the look in your eye that you had come to accept the fact that she may never say it.
You knew she loved you; she made sure her actions showed you that every day but when you said it back, without hesitation it overwhelmed her and bought tears to her eyes.
It was a new concept for her, love, but it came without fear, and another month turned into a year.
She wasn’t expecting that.
/
She didn’t know if this newfound happiness would last. She was terrified she’d mess it up somewhere.
Mess it up to the point of no return.
The little voice in the back of her head telling her that she didn’t deserve the life she was leading and that one day you’d realise that and leave her.
Questioning, that after all she’d done, why would you want her?
She wanted to ask what she did right to deserve you, but she never found the nerve.
Terrified of the answer.
She knew that you knew something was bothering her, by the furrow of your brow and the slight squint in your eyes.
But she knew you wouldn’t ask, because you knew that she’d just tell you that she’s fine and the you’d go round in circles.
She didn’t want to burden you with her insecurities.
She was complicated.
‘You deserve to be happy, Natasha.’ You whispered one night.
Her eyes pooled with tears and a small smile graced her face as she kissed the top of your head.
She wasn’t expecting that.
/
She found it strange how your smile changed her life.
How did she get here? She just wanted coffee.
You were married in the spring and she wouldn’t change a thing.
Without that carnival and that innocent kiss on the cheek, what a life she’d have missed.
You took a chance on her when she felt so undeserving.
She wasn’t expecting that.
/
Time. It doesn’t take long.
Three kids up and gone.
Natasha remembers the birth of your first child.
A beautiful baby boy, with your eyes and hair color.
He was quick to develop a strong will and determined personality and found a love for sports.
Superstar, you called him.
The birth of your second child was difficult.
A little girl, born two months early.  
She looked like Natasha, forest green eyes, and red hair.
It wasn’t long before she saw Natasha dancing and decided she wanted to dance too.
‘I want to be a ballerina like mama’ she’d say.
She was your little Swan.
Your third child was your last.
Another little boy. One green eye, one blue. He had Natasha’s smile and your cheeky giggle.
As he grew, he developed an intense interest in astronomy and wanted to be an astronaut.
You called him your little Spaceman.
They grew up so quick.
She wasn’t expecting that.
/
You began feeling sick.
‘It’s just the flu.’ You’d say. ‘It’ll pass.’.
It didn’t pass.
You got sicker and sicker, and Natasha was done waiting for you to get better.
So, when the doctor came in and she heard him say ‘It’s come back again.’.
She felt her heart crack.
She wasn’t expecting that.
/
Time. It doesn’t take long.
It’s only been a few months since that fateful day in the doctor’s office and Natasha can see you struggling more as each day passes.
She wants more time with you, she feels selfish, but she can’t help it.
You’ve had a good, long and fulfilling life together, but for her it’s not enough.
It’ll never be enough.
She couldn’t let you go, she was terrified of never seeing you again.
‘You’ll find your way back to me.’ You’d tell her.
You always had so much faith in her. Her biggest supporter.
She wasn’t ready, but she knew it was time.
You left a lingering kiss on her palm and gave her a warm smile.
She knew you were hurting, and she knew couldn’t be selfish.
‘It’s okay.’ She whispered, placing a delicate kiss on your cheek, just like you had done to her all those years ago.
Then you closed your eyes and took her heart by surprise.
She wasn’t expecting that.
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Note: This has been stuck in my head for months; since I first heard this song. The writing is not brilliant and I cannot say I am happy with it, but I needed to get this out of my head and off my laptop. Apologies✌🏼
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dent-de-leon · 4 months ago
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Thinking again about...how Lucien was always so insecure about his blood hunter scars, how he tried to hide them when he saw his sister again for the first time in years. Ashamed of the things he'd done just to survive, to earn enough coin just to have a chance at a future with his family again. The scars are a constant reminder of everything he's sacrificed, the pain he puts himself in again and again, desperate to prove himself "worthy."
For as much love as Lucien still holds for Aldreda, his very presence on her doorstep is perceived as a threat to the tenuous peace and life of comforts she's fought so hard for. "Who knows what kind of danger you've brought to our doorstep just by coming!" Aldreda's own brother is utterly unrecognizable to her, another awful reminder of the tragic past they shared--one she's desperate to forget.
"It's too late, Lucien. It's too late. Maybe years ago, I don't know...I can't think properly. Just looking at you stirs up such evil feelings in me. It isn't fair, I know, but it's true. I look at you and I smell smoke, I hear distant screams, I see again our brother's face leering, bloated with unnatural life."
Lucien is the last remnant of their life in Shadycreek, a bad memory she wants to burn away. He joined the Claret Orders as a means to provide for himself and his sister, to get by. He even romanticized the Orders at first, fancying the life of a heroic monster slayer--finally having the power to kill the hag that preyed on their family, that nearly carved him out into a hollow puppet. It's tragic, because everything he's ever done as the Nonagon, it was all out of desperate hope to one day bring his family back.
And even before that he was spiraling, digging himself deeper into his own grave, pushing away everyone he ever loved because it was the only way he knew to keep them safe.
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Lucien's blood hunter past also made him painfully aware of the fact that people will always see him as an outsider--the Claret Orders carry a threat of danger, violence, fear--every horrible thing Lucien ever tried to escape. When he's so taken by the Solstryce Academy, lost in daydreams--"It was a sight to take even the most jaded boy's breath away"--his fantasy of studying magic is utterly shattered by the pain of his scars. For him, magic is only ever pain, it's all it's been all his life. And there's no escaping it.
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Most heartbreaking of all, when Lucien finally has just a moment to reach out to his infant niece--so gentle with her, so very careful and full of so much love for this child he's only just met--all it takes is one look at his scars, and Aldreda tears away from him. "I don't even know you." For all he's sacrificed, Lucien is cast out by his own family. All that's left is the pain he carries.
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And for as cavalier as Molly is, despite how quick he is to brush off the nein’s questions and curiosity with a joke, it’s clear he’s just as unsettled by his own power. When he accidentally activates his Rite of the Dawn for the first time in Alfield, Taliesin describes him as sitting along with a drink and, “having a mild nervous breakdown” afterwards.
And the very first time Molly ever used a blood hunter ability? He was so scared, so terrified of letting anyone else find out. The one person he confides in is Lestera, and it’s only with her reassurance and gentle coaxing that he is willing to open up to Gustav.
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Just thinking about…Molly looking so anxious and scared, how even trusting Gustav with this is nerve-wracking for him. How Molly said part of the appeal of a traveling circus was staying on the move, avoiding scrutiny. “A lot of this was in the hopes that maybe it would never happen—keep moving, keep quiet.” Spinning story after story and lie after lie to bury any trace of Lucien.
Molly activating his blood powers for the first time and mourning the charmed little happy circus life he has—living in fear of that haunting past he’s so desperate to escape. “Maybe it’s from…before? I haven’t noticed it until now. I don’t…I don’t want it to complicate things.”
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And just…little moments when the Nein see through Molly’s carefree facade and try to chip away at the cracks. Caleb asking if Molly has been with the circus all his life, casually acknowledging that he knows it’s all a lie—“You have a lot of scars.” Caleb, who always hides his own scars and never stops running from the past. Caleb who takes one look at Molly and can tell at a glance that they’re more like than they seem, that Molly is also someone who knows pain and loss and regret so deeply. He can tell right away what Molly is, that they’re one and the same—shattered souls aching for a new start.
Thinking of how Lucien stood on Aldreda’s doorstop with his heart in his hand, begging her to give him a second chance. How she cuts him off and shuts him out of her life forever, looks him in the eye and tells him he’s too much of a danger.
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How Molly is forced to tell the Nein everything, wholeheartedly believing they’ll abandon him as well. But even when everything is dragged out in the open, the Nein don’t abandon him. And Caleb, as much as he struggles with trust, with breaking down walls and letting anyone else in—he offers Molly the very salvation and hope for a second chance that Caleb himself has always longed for.
“I am a little concerned about, you know, loose ends…However—I believe in second starts, and that’s enough for me. I am satisfied, Mollymauk Tealeaf.”
“This is not how I expected this to go…Thank you—”
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