#the fact that it has been months is insane
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Such A Mystery - Part 2
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Colette Leclerc (Original Character)
Summary:
Max Verstappen fell in love at the ripe old age of 12 and never looked back.
Colette Leclerc really regrets posting that particular Taylor Swift Lyric to her private Instagram account, because it made George Russell go insane.
The rest of the world has absolutely no idea that the Dutch Lion and Charles Leclerc’s twin sister have been a couple for 15 years and are expecting a baby.
Warnings:
Pregnancy, Mention of multiple miscarriages, Pregnancy complications, George Russell Bashing (he's probably really nice in real life but in this, he's the bad guy, sorry)
Author Notes: Huge thanks to @llirawolf for holding my hand through this. Currently thinking this will have like 5-7 parts?
Max Verstappen fell in love at the ripe old age of 12 and never looked back.
He had fallen like a ton of bricks for a dark-haired girl with doe eyes and the prettiest of smiles…and who also happened to be the twin sister of his biggest rival.
Colette Leclerc had been the first girl he had ever looked twice at and even 15 years later, that had never changed. Max was quite sure that it never would change either. It was her or nobody for him.
Though he was very much aware that nobody had actually taken their relationship seriously for the first 5 years. Just a childhood crush turned into a teenage romance... But then slowly, their families had realised that it wasn't "just" anything.
He had moved to Monaco a day after his 18th birthday for her. To be as close to her as he possibly could. They had moved in together later that year.
They had kept it quiet over the years... Family and friends knew but Max and Colette had never made it obvious enough for the press to pick up on.
It had been Colette's request, not his.
Max would have liked to scream it from the rooftops. Would have liked everybody to know that Colette was his girlfriend, that he was the one that got to go home to her…that he was the one she loved. That they were blissfully happy together and had been for 15 years at this point.
That she was carrying their child.
Their baby.
It was a fucking miracle, that's what it was.
It had taken them a good six months to get pregnant the first time...nearly 2 years ago…between his race schedule and the insanity of the racing season...and then she had miscarried days after that first positive pregnancy test.
It has been heartbreaking.
Of course, it had been...but they had thought that...maybe it was just a one-off…
The doctors hadn't been able to find anything wrong with her after all...
The second pregnancy resulted in another miscarriage less than a year later.
Another case of…Well, there is nothing wrong as far as we can tell.
And then ..the third pregnancy...both Max and Colette had been a complete mess about it.
Expecting the worst to happen at any minute. They had waited for the other shoe to drop. He had waited for there to be bleeding...for the baby not to make it...but then they had their first ultrasound and there had been a heartbeat.
Finally, after two devastating miscarriages, they had a positive ultrasound. A healthy heartbeat and a thriving baby growing in Colette’s belly.
It was a fucking miracle.
Even when the fact that Colette was due in January meant that he was gone for much of her pregnancy. Max hated being away from her during such a vulnerable and exciting time.
He had tried though. Max had made sure to come home to Monaco as often as he could during the season, even if it was just for a quick visit, even when it was just for 24 hours at a time.
He was glued to his phone constantly, as soon as he had a free minute. The truly important people all knew about the baby and even GP let him go with a roll of his eyes when Max was once again absentmindedly checking his phone for another message from Colette.
At least, in a few days, he could be there for her. He would be there in January, and he wouldn’t miss the last month of pregnancy or the first precious few weeks with their baby…
There was a part of him that believed the baby would be a girl that would look just like Colette. Colette thought it was a boy. They had decided to be surprised. But regardless if it was a boy or a girl, Max just wanted the baby to be safe and healthy.
Max always called and video-chatted with Colette every evening. He was like an overly attached mother hen, constantly asking her how she felt, if she needed anything, and checking on the baby's progress.
So when her name was mentioned in conversation by two of his mechanics...he immediately perked up.
They were in Abu Dhabi for the last race of the season... and after the drama that had been the Qatar GP, that particular penalty and George Russell…Max was, quite frankly, done with the season.
He just wanted to get home to Colette and their baby.
"I just really want to know what Colette Leclerc posted on Instagram," one of them said with a snort. "Whatever it was, it must have really gotten under Russell's skin."
What?
Colette's Instagram was set to private. She used it to comment under every single one of her brothers' posts and that pretty much was it. She did post pictures sometimes, to the less than 200 followers she actually had.
Why would a random mechanic even know about...
"Too bad it's set to private," the other responded with a sigh. "I would love to slide in her dms…she’s a beauty…"
He held back a snort at that. It was true. Max wholeheartedly agreed that Colette was beautiful. Simply lovely. There was no one else who could compare to her in his eyes.
But there was also the fact that Colette had the habit of not even realising if a guy was flirting with her at all. Quite frankly, he wasn’t much better…it had always just been each other for both of them.
But all of that didn’t answer the other question he had. So he whipped out his phone again and then did what he really shouldn't do...namely check out the fan accounts.
He got his answer then.
Gemma, one of the press officers, approached him with a grim expression, just at that moment. "Max," she said urgently, "There's something you need to know."
Max's anger was building as he spoke. "I already saw," he gritted out, his voice barely restrained. "George decided to be an ass.”
Granted, "Karma is the guy in the car, coming straight home to me" probably had been rather pointed...because Max had indeed gotten Pole Position back in the first corner... So it had been Karma in a way.
Still, for George to use Colette against Max...Colette, who kept quiet and out of the spotlight...who abhorred paparazzi...
Max was seething. George had crossed a line by bringing Colette into their rivalry. She was an innocent party in all of this, someone who always shied away from the spotlight.
Max clenched his fists in anger, his jaw tightened as he forced himself to remain composed. He knew that lashing out at George would only give him what he wanted, but he couldn't help feeling protective of Colette.
Especially right now. The stress wasn't good for her and it wasn't good for the baby...He took a deep breath to calm himself down. He needed to keep his temper in check, even if it was difficult.
He had to think about Colette and the baby. The last thing he wanted was to add more stress to her life.
Gemma's words were quiet, but they hit like a ton of bricks. "I would suggest you stay low right now," she advised. "I know it's completely out of line, but if you confront him about it, he could end up telling the press about you two. And that's not something you want..."
He knew how cruel the media could be, how they would tear apart every aspect of their relationship. Colette avoided the spotlight for a reason and he had promised her that he would never drag her into it either if it was at all possible. But the idea of George using her as a pawn in his games with Max...it was infuriating.
#max verstappen fanfiction#formula 1#max verstappen#max verstappen smau#max verstappen fic#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 fanfiction#max verstappen fluff#mv1 fanfiction#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fake instagram#f1 smau#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen x reader#mv1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#mv1 fic#max verstappen x you#f1 grid x reader#f1 grid fanfiction
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Favorite present! ~ Megumi Fushiguro x GN! Reader
A/N i live for soft boy megumi like SORRY but he is sensitive I don’t make the rules. i love him sm and plan to write more for him in the future.
If you were to ask Megumi Fushiguro what his favorite present was this year, he would probably say you.
Wc:1086
"Meguuumiiii" You whine from the hall, holding a cardboard box full of your friends' presents. Ones you handmade with blood, sweat, and literal tears. In fact, you had begun the project as early as October (before Halloween even).
What at first seemed to be a cute idea of making stuffed animals soon turned into a pain in the ass, taking up most of your free time. Of course when you and Megumi would see each other you would refrain from letting it distract you but the very second he left or even fell asleep there you went-crocheting away. When he would walk in your dorm after a long day of class?
There you sat, legs crossed and an ever-so determined look on your face. Hunched over in a way that looked painful-which it definitely was because you had been complaining about your horrible back pain for the past two months.
Every time the two of you would FaceTime you would be groaning and sighing, complaining about how it was crooked or you put too much stuffing. That your fingers were cramping or now you need to start all over because it looks just awful.
Oh how annoying it was for Megumi to sit and watch you suffer over something absolutely no one is forcing you to do. He told you countless times to just give up and ‘buy everyone gift cards like a normal person’.
But he soon learned his lesson because every single time he said anything like that it just ended in a speech about how important it is to ‘finish things you started’ and you ‘promised yourself it wouldn’t be another abandoned project sitting in the closet’. Yes, Megumi understands. He still thinks you are insane. And he will tell you so.
“Isn’t that why you love me?” You say and he can only nod.
Megumi loves your tenacious spirit. How passionate you are about the things you care for. How lucky he is to be one of the things you are very passionate about. It is the only reason he continues to support you in your endeavor. As long as you promise you will not be doing this shit again next year. He even puts a cute little Santa hat on and wears matching slippers with you. It only took like five minutes of begging!
The only thing that continues to bother him is that you did not make him one. Surely you would have mentioned it by now. He would have seen it one of the countless times he walked in to find your room scattered with yarn and your many ‘rough drafts’. He would also be lying if he did not admit he went snooping around a few times when you were showering in the hopes of finding his.
Kugisaki is getting a white bunny. A pink bear for Itadori. There’s an animal for Maki, Yuuta, Inumaki, Gojo, a panda for Panda (duh), and nothing for him.
Maybe you forgot. You’ve been so busy making all of them and it must have slipped your mind. You probably did not even think he would want one. He has no stuffed animals in his room or anything even remotely similar. It’s not like he would cuddle it at night and think about you or anything.
So he delivers the gifts with you-with a smile on his face. Whatever Megumi considers to be a smile at least. Even ignoring the comments of how ‘whooped’ he is to be standing there matching with you. A thing he once swore he would never do.
Until he met you. You softened him up like butter. Gone is the aggression that was always his go-to in any situation. The way you loved him made him feel complete. He used to find it absurd that falling in love could change a person.
But you change him for the better. You challenge him emotionally without trying to change who he is deep down. You bring out the best and suppress the worst of him. Oh how Megumi loves you, more than words can describe.
It is your first Christmas together. As a couple at least so he may have went a bit overboard with the presents. He was trying very hard to impress you. He would be deeply embarrassed if he got you a bunch of presents and you got him nothing.
Surely that would not happen. You gave him a present last year. Why would this one be any different?
He is just anxious, a feeling he knows a bit too well. Megumi is an overthinker, sometimes he will let even the smallest things eat him up inside. He is nervously chewing at the inside of his cheek, holding the now empty box as you finish giving away your last present.
You grab his hand, squeezing it tight before pressing a kiss onto his cheek. “Thanks for coming with me handsome. Im so glad this is over” You groan and he chuckles at the exasperated look on your face. “You were so right. Never again” You peck his cheek again and he smiles contently.
Your touch is so comforting he does not even realize the two of you are heading back to your dorm instead of his. Too lost in the warmth of your smooth hands and intoxicating giggle.
It is not until you open the door and walk him inside that he understands that all of his worries were for nothing. Sometimes he forgets that you might love him just the same way he loves you. Maybe even more like you swear you do. He feels almost silly for doubting you. As he should.
Your small twin bed is covered in presents. His presents. They range all different sizes. But right in the middle, atop one of the gifts sits two little crochet figures.
Two wolves, a white and a black one.
His chest is warm and tingly. Megumi pulls you into a hug. Arms wrapped tightly around your waist, his head digging into the nape of your neck-he swallows the lump forming in his throat.
“Thank you” Megumi sighs into your chest, moving up to kiss your neck lovingly.
“Ohh Megs” You chuckle, trying to jump excitedly up and down but his arms prevent you from doing so. They grip you tighter. “You need to open them first!”
And he says something so cheesy he would have thrown up if the moment wasn’t so sweet. “You’re the only present I need”
#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#jjk x reader#megumi x gn reader#jjk
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Redraw of my very first piece of Miguel and of A Fortunate Mistake :)
#my art#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara#atsv#miguel o hara fanart#a fortunate mistake#the fact that it has been months is insane#I still love this angsty man#I would give him a million for head kisses#also if feels like I haven’t posted in a while but it’s only been 6 days 😅#I finally took vacations days from work so hopefully I can work on a lot of my WIPs#those now include merman Miguel 👁👁#I read a book called whispers of the deep and lemme tell you I wanna design Miguel like arges#he is so fine#you can bet I’m already drawing merman smut 🤭#love y’all
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too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.
#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit#about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels#like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they#broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane.#im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them#and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong#i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma#if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more#ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month#but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories#so make of that what you will#and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them#i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them#anyway yeah#f1#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes
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Nostalgia For A Time That Never Existed in Washington DC - 26 May 2024
#so fun fact i feel insane#5sos#5 seconds of summer#luke hemmings#luke#nostalgia tour#nostalgia tour dc n1#kh4f post#we are nearly a month into tour#homie wore the same suit the first three shows#and NOW . N O WWWW suddenly there are tank tops involved#were the crops not enough#i reacted to this news in such an absurd fashion#like#you would have thought I'd never seen arms before#idk what happened but my brain has fried and this made me lose what was left of my mind#between this and the Nikkie video earlier i stg I've been a hysterical all day#get it together Crystal 😌#anyways#he looks good!
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Can we talk about The Dying Swan moment in Coda? As someone who was once a very serious ballerina, I need to talk about the Dying Swan. Here's your context --
CHAKOTAY: Harry's clarinet solo was okay. I could have done without Tuvok's reading of Vulcan poetry. But the highlight of the evening was definitely Kathryn Janeway portraying the Dying Swan. JANEWAY: I learned that dance when I was six years old. I assure you, it was the hit of the Beginning Ballet class.
Have you seen The Dying Swan? It is dramatic.
Here, take a minute:
youtube
First of all, this dance is much too advanced for a six-year-old, even if they’re doing it in demi pointe. (Six-year-olds emphatically should not be in pointe shoes btw.) The dance is almost entirely bourees and arm movements done to very subtle musical cues, not the foundational ballet moves typically taught in Beginning Ballet.
This is a very vulnerable, dramatic dance that is effective because of its subtleties. The performer would need to embody that vulnerability in some way for a convincing performance. It's short, but it's a solo piece -- all eyes on you. I mean, it was choreographed for a prima ballerina, BUT THAT'S NOT MY POINT
Can you imagine our unflappable Captain Janeway willingly getting in front of her crew to do this ballet? I get that it’s thematically relevant to the plot of Coda, but since Janeway is only vulnerable in front of her crew when it means putting herself in harm’s way, it seems like a wild decision. She tends to hold herself apart from her crew, maintaining the professional distance of the captain. Further, when she does any creative pursuit, it is almost always in private, since her sister was the artist in the family and she was the scientist. As a captain, she commands Voyager in a much different way than she would as a dancer with this piece. I'm not saying she never shows vulnerability because she definitely does, but not necessarily in this way. Then when she talks about it with Chakotay, she just casually brushes it off with a laugh like no big deal.
There’s also the question of costume – would she have gone full tutu? Done it in her Starfleet uniform? An impeccable yet flow-y white suit? She does get into costume and command a performance in Bride of Chaotica!, but Coda is still kind of early days for our captain. Arachnia aligns more with what we know about Janeway's character.
Granted, it is Chakotay laying down these complements about her dancing ability and he is clearly biased. To be fair, Neelix does too before they leave in the shuttle. If she did this dance and performed it poorly or amazingly, I feel like the crew would look at her a bit differently afterwards.
Canonically she did The Dying Swan, but I certainly have trouble picturing it happening.
#does everyone let it slide because she gets mind killed a bunch of times and attends her own funeral?#this throw away line has been living rent free in my mind for months now#coda is also a ballet term fun fact#star trek voyager#coda#Captain Janeway#this death doesn't mean anything though because no one else is saved so not janeway self-sacrificing goals#yes yes they probably just picked the first artistic performance with death in the title cause it's thematically relevant#i've thought about it much more than a normal person probably should#No one said I was a good ballerina but I did it for a long time#may or may not have filmed a video about this in my cosplay for a different platform#maybe have been sitting on it cause of editing and weird dudes being into me like why no#also let tuvok read his poetry i bet it's great#alien grim reaper dad is a great concept very creepy bring him back for more angst#just a little insane about the dying swan don't mind me#also insane about coda and voyager and janeway in general ok you got me#meta#I was falling asleep on the couch but then I had to rant about coda I’m sorry
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the game plan:
- finish o4o in the next few weeks (barring pain levels, they have been higher than normal. more on that later)
- open up comms (i’ll probably take two or three OR i’ll be releasing a certain numbers of words that can be claimed for commissions out of the whole, until we hit that word cap) (if this doesn’t make sense i’ll explain more later trust)
- profit and pay off portos vet bill AND get a new work desk
#chronic pain has been insane later bc the ergonomics of my work desk r in fact wrecking my shoulders#ik ive needed a better desk in that regard but ive been putting off buying one for literal years but how is the Time#i think my new mattress May be part of the problem tbh but ive got a long ass warranty and still am within my three month testing period#so we’ll see#tldr my shoulders have been blowing out nearly every day#alternating between right and left and it is genuinely so Fucking painful like#can’t focus can’t eat can’t THINK and i have no real method of relief for one of them#need to make some changes in the next month so i can function more bc i can’t live like this#oof#anyways commmmms incomingn!!!#lore loops
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local man 'just out here to smoke and look pretty'
#cyberpunk 2077#male v#oc seb#teehee hi and hello and so on. you are allowed to rb him. in fact you are encouraged. i am looking directly at you#can you tell i couldnt think of a caption <3#anyway so im obsessed with him#you are allowed to ask me about him. this man has so much lore in him ive been going insane about him for MONTHS
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series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:
#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨#and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate#so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah.#thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou#i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh#compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol#i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help—#so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig#my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa#i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control…#b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you#tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao#so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol#but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato)#so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though#either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane#i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date…#at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration…#…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig.#oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far…#i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience.#help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m.#anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee
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Hi! I hate to have to make a post like this, but I am in some need of assistance. I'm a disabled individual living on VERY limited income and most of my income has been going towards moving expenses as I am leaving this current housing situation in two months. I have already spent most of my paycheck on mailing off valuables to my next location. The next step is to get my furbaby the things he needs to travel comfortably with me.
The goal is to have him with me in the cabin to help not only him, but myself too with my anxiety. It's difficult traveling alone as an autistic individual, so my cat is my best bet in keeping cool without turning to opiates as a one day prescription.
Here is the amazon list, if anyone feels like helping.
And here are a couple photos of Steven hard as a rock Stone. He's a very sweet and loving cat. But, I am in a very poor state financially.
My roommate is not the best and has 'forgotten' about the cash I have given her to purchase specific things for the cats in the house. Instead using that money to buy cigarettes.
While I don't feel comfortable talking about too many details, I can comfortably say I live with a hoarder, that I am blamed for things out of my control ( like the bills she should be paying w my rent ), so on and so forth.
I'm incredibly sorry to ask for this help, but my hands are kind of tied. It's been insanely difficult to get out of an abusive situation while being disabled.
#i feel like if i were to go too far in depth with this situation it would be a thesis#i have a couple friends who have been witnesses to the abuse ive gone through#one of the most notable things is me coming home from a trip with friends. showing symptoms of covid-19. then expressing CONCERN that i ma#HAVE covid. being BRUSHED OFF. told im being dramatic. made me take three tests all of which were positive#and then being BLAMED for exposing them since they now couldn't go to a PARTY#bc i was unable to avoid getting covid in public transportation.#i feel like ive gone insane#with how much i get blamed for. for things that are out of my control.#i dont even want to get started on the animal abuse#and the fact that my roommate has a DOG#that she doesnt even care for. hes depressed. he doesnt WANT me. he wants his mom#and not only that the vet tore into her this month because the neglect is showing in his health bright as day
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waow….. agere fic snippet!!!
i haven’t been active in. a while…!.!.!! (sorry ;;) so here’s a fic snippet for u guys!
(feat. rui and tsukasa!!)
“Hmm? What’s wrong, my dearest little one?” Rui jutted his lower lip out, holding up the little bottle of soda candy and simultaneously pointing at the paci in Tsukasa’s hand. Luckily, Tsukasa knew almost instantly what Rui wanted.
“Ahh, you can’t decide on which one you want? Well! Fear not, my lovely boy! We can compromise! Since we don’t want you to get sick from eating too many soda candies, how about you put them away for now, and wear your paci? Then later after we eat something, you can have the soda candies again. How does that sound?”
The little took a moment to think about it, seemingly making up his mind. He nodded and ate one last soda candy before taking the paci from Tsukasa’s hands and popping it in his mouth with a small smile.
“Ah- hey! I saw that, you little sneak!” Tsukasa tickled Rui’s tummy, eliciting a squeal and his favorite little giggles from the smaller boy.
#fic wip#prsk agere#wow its been a while#fun fact this wip has been sitting in my notes for months the writers block is insane
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We as a society need to acknowledge the psychological toll of being the only woman in a friend group willing to argue back when the guys start saying sexist shit. I deserve financial compensation.
#I'm out here in the trenches with zero backup and the only prize i get is a text from a girlfriend after the fact saying i was right but she#didn't have the energy to argue it#someone give me a fucking medal#like in any other context I'd straight up stop hanging out with these people but i can't for Reasons so instead every few months i have to#undergo psychological terrorism over a group meal#it has actually been such a good demonstration of how men will prioritize patriarchal alliance over anything else bc this is a group of#people ive known for years and that i see weekly and the way they will throw me under the fucking bus to agree with a random guy someone#invited that none of them actually know is genuinely insane. good to know exactly how little you value me as an individual 👍#actually tho I can't describe to you how fucking depressing it is to watch a male friend say something lightly misogynistic and then when#you provide the slightest bit of pushback they just all start to join in and double down and then because none of your other female friends#are willing to speak out they start to get more emboldened and the situation spirals a bit and you're literally standing there getting#dogged on as you're forced to confront the fact that on a fundamental level they dont see you as a real person
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i have been doing this thing where i have been accidentally eating nutritious meals, not drinking caffeine, not smoking, not drinking alcohol, and not eating any junk food and holy shit i feel amazing??? my mood has just increased so much and I'm NEVER tired and I've been having rare if no negative thoughts. has anyone heard of being healthy this is insane?
#to be fair i smoked like 4 times in the last two weeks#bc those were stressful days#but also considering everything else I've given up im fine with that#the fact that i#a guy who struggled with body image and anorexia and bulimia and binge eating and has an insane sweet tooth#bought a block of chocolate#over two weeks ago#and I still haven't eaten it#because I've been like. eating proper meals#is HUUUGE#i can't believe it!#my skin is glowing! a bunch of my coworkers complimented me earlier this week#i know what I'm like and I'm not going to completely cut out chocolate or anything#but the fact that i haven't even Wanted it is just insane to me#I've also been setting so many boundaries at work and in my personal life#not doing things that i don't want to do#this last month has just been amazing#ever since my naming ceremony ever since november i feel like I've literally physically (as well as figuratively re singing lessons)#cut out all of my shit that I've accidentally let grow#guy who recently discovered eating 3 nutritious meals a day: hey has anyone heard of this?#i do want to do more strength based exercise for my longevity just in case I'm fortunate enough to make it to old age#so I'll buy some weights later on but I've been doing yoga for now which has been cool#never thought I'd be this kinda person#I just kind of assumed I'd be living off monster energy zero and cigarettes for the rest of my life#I've also been enjoying logging all of my food that I eat into my phone app#because it breaks down how much of which vitamins and other nutrients you've eaten#and shows you where from#mine#anyway. this is the most sober and heslthy I've perhaps ever been in my life and holy shit this is transformative for me#feels weird to say it but I'm so glad i got sick that one week and went off food and coffee and cigarettes
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one of the untitleds, dealers choice
hello. you got it. i love this one.
His girlfriend has sworn so many things to him recently. She won’t stop swearing to him.
Not on the eve of Going Day for his family—“going” because “moving” is too productive of a word. If they move, they take a step forward from this life and begin some kind of ceremonial procession to a new one. But, no, that’s not what this is. This is their long-awaited exile from the town they never belonged to. Never, ever belonged to. They are Hawkins’ exhibits, its satirical stars, its sins, and its shames. They are its unholy trinity, stained by their own hands. Ask almost anyone, anyone, and learn that their poverty was self-inflicted, the loss of their patriarch was self-inflicted, and so was Mom’s insanity, and so was his and so was Will’s death/nondeath. And Will’s weakness. And Will’s femininity.
Entertaining a town with your family’s voluntary patheticness is not belonging to it, so now they will go to the West Coast with a telekinetic daughter tucked under their wet brown wings. (Broken wings.)
California’s going to make everything better for all four. (His girlfriend has sworn it so, even if she is an unhappy camper. She says she won’t have anyone once he goes away.)
“You must be so warm,” she swears, her mouth’s motions making a fuzzy sensation for his skin as she sucks intermittently and leisurely on the underside of his jaw, “I know you want to swim.”
His knee bends, his arms hug her waist, and the leaves rustle beneath their blanket. He’s trying his hardest to be present for her, and not just with his body, also with his mind. For several days now, he’s been caught in this trap: this stupid, dissociative episode. Voices are quieter here, his tongue is leaden, and the air can be touched. He’s not in another dimension, but he might as well be.
Honestly? It’s some strange form of self-protection. Could be his way of taking Leaving’s bitter flavor, though he’s never coped with this method before. He doesn’t shut off, just out. I should feel any emotion besides doubt. I should feel the need to reassure this person who says she’ll miss me (or want to run away from her, alternatively). All I am is doubtful.
Far above his face, the sky invites lethargy to bleed wider and longer. It’s a warm, woolen expanse of gray, tiring him with the sadness of backlit storm clouds. Why is this place turning beautiful for him now? That needs to stop. Nancy needs to stop. (Never, ever.)
“Warm? In October?”
She relaxes with the tightness of his arms around her midsection. She likes a snug fit, and so does he. As her sweater rides up, he learns that warm in October is right. In this case, anyway; just the small slice of Nancy’s back that’s been exposed gives off the heat of a candle. Her skin could very well be shimmering with sparks right now.
Her reply is put on hold until she finishes making a hickey, equal parts pain and comfort, on his neck. “Well, yeah, I’m warm. And if I am, then you are. Have you ever noticed that you like to copy me?”
“Okay—”
“You copy everything. I love it.”
#thank you!#enjoy the unrevised baby#this particular baby has not been given a bottle in months#stranger things#wanderleave#jancy fic#this one was written in full but they had an argument that i hated#kind of ruined everything#its weird#usually they just start kissing#but they started whisper fighting and making equally good points and once they started i couldnt stop them and they were scaring me#and then they just broke up#right there in google docs#i was like guys why youve never done this before#then they started kissing again and i was like oh okay#just a mess!#i know i sound insane but these are the facts#ask#*ask#writing
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As someone who messes up names so much, I could only remember Loop’s name from “Your ally Loop! Here to help you with the loops!” And I think it every time I say the word ‘loop’ ever in any context now. Curse you Loop. In comparison about halfway through the game (in my case like a solid 25 hours) I still couldn’t reliably remember Isabeau’s name. (Also, if images cause problems you don’t have to put so many in! I’m guessing most people seeing the liveblog have seen nearly all the game already?)
Technically speaking, we don't have to put any images in at all, but we prefer this format for allowing us to more easily "open dialogue" with the game and also the existence of this liveblog has fully convinced one of our friends to get this game as well so that they can play alongside us. We like the visual element! Also gives us something to look back and reference, later down the line - our usual favorite RPG has an extremely accessible transcript of all of the text in the game that we usually reference back to whenever we need to reference a line of dialogue, but In Stars And Time... doesn't have that, we don't think.
We'd like to be able to look back and see what we've already done, and have a reliable way of seeing what happened, because by gods if our memory fails on us we don't want it to gaslight us into thinking that. Fuck. Isabeau mentioned a line that Mirabelle has, and have that shift our area of characterization for them.
#asks#we speak#not liveblog#thatdoganon#making it more fun to look at ALSO means that you're not just looking at a wall of text! this liveblog is more than 20k words long by now#and adding images helps break that up while also making it so we dont inflate the word count more attempting to paraphrase things#and potentially getting them wrong#honestly the primary annoying thing is the uploading since we usually need two or three tries before it actually. uploads#tumblr has been insanely glitchy for us for more than half a year now#and we still have to manually check things like notes since the display has been stuck at 2 notes for the past six+ months#and will not show us if we have new notes or what blog theyre on#this also goes for dms btw our apologies if you message us and we don't get it we don't get notifications for that#we can remember the names semi-reliably but not who they apply to and this means that we are constantly mixing up bonnie and mirabelle#though we have 54 hours by now so. uhh. by 25 hours in we were definitely still forgetting isabeaus name#also presumably most of the people watching have played isat but some of them definitely have not because we brought them in#we know for a fact that our beloved friend dan has not played the game before. theyre just watching bc they love us. hi dan.
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tagged by @jennilah <3
shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people
oh boy watch this be cringe 1. Too Sweet- Hozier 2. Fire Drill- Melanie Martinez 3. Mary- Alex G 4. Meant to Be Yours- Heathers Original Broadway Cast 5. Too Close- Sir Chloe 6. Why Didn't You Stop Me?- Mitski 7. Electra Heart- MARINA 8. Me and My Husband- Mitski 9. I Bet on Losing Dogs- Mitski 10. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover- Paul Simon
ermmm i dont have a lot of friends but. calling upon mutuals (no pressure ofc) @morguenest @the-bellhopper @ozkar-is-salt @grim-woof @ritesofspring
#HELP why are there 3 fucking mitski songs#tell me you're depressed without telling me#the fact that these are all either my saw playlist or house playlist. we know where my mind has been for the past few months#OR BOTH some of these are on both#but. this is mostly my saw playlist talking#i am insane.#thank you for the tag
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