#if it was just a mediocre game then it would not cross my mind 5+ years after release

[lakemichigans]

detroit become human is my fucking white whale.. every time i think about it for even a fraction of a second my brain just explodes with all the ways it could have been a good game. and then i have to move on with my day because well. it isn't a good game. it sucks actually

[puckpocketed]

Naruto ice hockey AU!! a good friend suggested there should be more art of hockey equipment and then I went out and started looking at hockey equipment for references and then this wedged itself into the back of my mind until i gave up and painted it. click for better quality. Yes i have mock ups. They will not see the light of day until I finish all 3 jersey variants ! AU and design notes under the cut if you fancy <3

Lore… i used to run a Naruto blog when I was much much much younger. you are currently witnessing my old special interest cross over with my current special interest.

Bits and pieces from this AU that I’ve been rotating in my mind:

Welcome to the Elemental Nations Hockey League? :D

Every season they play for the Kaguya Cup, named after the mother of ice hockey who invented it eons ago with two sons on her hip ! Yeah sure we’ll go with that….

I present to you the Original FIVE: the Kumo Cloud, the Iwa Quake, the Kiri Mist Wraiths, the Suna Dust Devils, and the Konoha Leafs !! Sorry to actual Leafs fans but I thought about this for much longer than I want to admit and there is no other name that makes sense here. I just think they’re fun <3 (SO many translatable motifs and ideas and I can’t include them all here)

3-man units EASILY become lines. I thought about this and yeah . Yeah. Team 7 is still comprised of Naruto-Sakura-Sasuke OBVIOUSLY . there is no gender segregation in this AU because i chose joy and fun when dreaming it up. also they all wore 7 in juniors. 777. 7-UP line LMAO. jackpot line? Team 7. haven’t decided.

Naruto quick facts: winger, wears the C (eventually) undrafted in his first eligible year, taken 111th overall in his second (he was a late bloomer + canon-compliant asshole child era meant nobody wanted his ass!! Konoha took a chance on him!). Wore #7 he wears #1 because of his draft position and because he’s gonna be the best player EVER. <3 He thinks he’s normal about Sasuke (he is not)

Sasuke notes: winger, wears an A. went 1st overall. No weaknesses … the Perfect player ! except he is Not his brother Itachi who ALSO went 1st overall about 10 years ago. the world wont let him forget it . Itachi is now retired for medical reasons but works in hockey as a scout, but the comparisons haunt our little man… </3 Sasuke’s D+1 year he wasn’t ready for the ENHL and everyone started calling him a bust because he got sent down!! SAD!!!! Wears #77 as a Leaf because they all agreed it would be fair no one should have #7. Trade rumours to the Oto Thunder every season like clockwork because Orochimaru, Oto’s GM, originally tanked to get Sasuke in the draft and FAILED…!

Sidebar i believe in my heart that Naruto and Sasuke played for rival juniors teams; the Uzushio Tempest and the Uchiwa Flames…… let me cook here alright,.. i just think they developed an intense fixation on each other and got thrown out of games for fighting ! Ironically this rivalry unlocked their potential and they were in a heated scoring race thru the entire season…..

Sakura: undisputed center and the bus driver of this line!!! wears the other A! Drafted 7OA and everyone was mad about it because they wanted someone else. Wore #7 through juniors to spite them !! Currently wears #16 just like her hero Tsunade <3 Tactical mind, not naturally talented but worked hard for everything she has, an extremely effective playmaker… I think she is built like a tank… terrifying power forward Sakura…………….

They play for the Konoha Leafs obviously...! Theyre the cringefail girlies for about 2 years once they make it to the ENHL, godbless . Lots of individual flashes of brilliance but no long-term success and zero team cohesion as they are shuffled around. Naruto and Sasuke both have a go at being center but they both Suck at anchoring a line like that.. they aint made that way (to ME!!!) Konoha Leafs on the verge of collapse and wasting another 5-7 yrs of being mediocre. Then one day coach Kakashi decides ‘Hm. Maybe. i will make Sakura play with these two assholes.’ And the rest is history!!!!!!

Listen I just think she would corral their worst impulses and keep them in line…. I feel like she’s a very responsible and smart 2-way player and balances Naruto and Sasuke’s heavy offence out. They get really dangerous the moment they settle into their roles. 777. JACKPOT!!!!!!

Various team mascots are the tailed beasts? <3 I just think it would be neat….!

Lots of expansion team ideas (smaller villages) and a junior league (clan associations !) many ideas…

DESIGN NOTES

In-universe, the above design is a 3rd jersey nodding towards Konoha's heritage. Prior to becoming the Leafs in the ENHL, they were the Demon Foxes!

WHY did i choose a third jersey…? This idea popped into my head when i heard rumours the ducks were leaning into their orange county ties in the rebrand and i thought ouuuhh you know what would fuck severely… naruto x ducks brand collaboration…… oramnge…. I love orange <3

Anyway Naruto had his heart set on being a goalie before tragically being moved to forward (the skaters …they YEARN for the pipes!!!!) so he wraps his stick in that insane goalie knob style <3 Where did you get that red and blue tape from Naruto…. C’mon now don’t be shy …

Blade is orange taped bc Naruto loves orange so bad. There are various ideas about white sticks/white tape being harder to see against the ice and i think he’d like the idea of taping his blade orange bc the doesn’t need that competitive advantage lol

Konoha home jerseys are green/brown/white/red/blue (think something closer to the Jounin flak jackets) More on them later mayhaps…

Out of universe, I based the colours and design elements largely off Naruto’s outfits over the series. The black and orange is a nod to his first outfit in Shippuden — note the black on his shoulders cutting across his chest and the shape language of the piping on the abdomen.

The red piping is because reaaaalllly wanted to add his Hokage robe flames but i tried it and thought it looked lame as HELL . So i suppose we will save that for a specialty jersey somewhere down the line (many thoughts… many many thoughts….)

The blue/white/red on his skates, sleeves, and gloves is an homage to the Uchiha, who had a hand in founding the team + have people within the org. I imagine the Uchiha clan as this, idk, juggernaut of hockey dynasties…!! A finger in every possible pie. Maybe they have partial ownership of the team. They do equipment manufacturing (gloves, skates, tape!), PR, scouting… everything!!!

Shoulder patches are Uzushio’s whirlpool insignia.

The ribbed neck guard is a reference to Naruto’s first jumpsuit design. He definitely thinks he doesn’t need a neck guard until Sasuke mentions that they’re kind of cool — a blatant manipulation to get Naruto to wear one. <- they are unwell about each other you see

Naruto tapes his hockey socks different every time for good luck. someone said variety is the spice of life and then he heard somewhere else that spicy foods promote longevity and his wires got crossed and now he thinks of variance = spice = a long playing career.

[wreywrites]

Tiger Shark

Part 5: The Net

Chapter 26

****note from Wrey- the AU starts here****

“I almost asked if you remember the last Quarter Quell. Then I remembered I wasn’t born yet, so there’s no way you would.”

“You know, sometimes you’re very stupid.”

The screen flickers on.

“Oh mandatory viewing, how I miss you when it isn’t Hunger Games season,” Finnick says in mock wistfulness.

We watch a whole special on Katniss’s wedding dresses, which neither of us can muster up even the sarcasm to pretend to care about. I suspect the thing between her and Peeta is an act, and Finnick says Peeta might really love her, but she doesn’t love him. Of course, this is only said when we’re out lobster diving and far enough away from Beck’s boat that even if it is somehow tapped, Snow’s people in the Capitol won’t be able to hear us.

It has to be fake, I think, because how stupid do they have to be to want to get married? It’s just asking for trouble. Then again, they are from the same district. It’s not like Megary and Augustus.

For a brief second, the thought crosses my mind. We could do that…

I glance at Finnick.

He’s looking at my hand on the couch next to him. He shakes his head just the tiniest bit.

He’s right. We couldn’t. He has the same deal the rest of them do. And why would we give the Capitol more to use against us?

I slip my fingers between his, and we watch the rest of the wedding dress special in silence.

Then President Snow walks onto the stage and gives a history-filled and heavily biased speech about the Dark Days and the creation of the Hunger Games and the special glorified versions to take place every twenty-five years. “On the twenty-fifth anniversary,” Snow says, “as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it.”

That can’t have been fun. The strategic part of my brain knows that picking an older, stronger, bigger candidate would be the best choice. Electing someone smart, confident, charming, good with pointy objects. That gives the district the best chance at victory. But who wants to vote for someone everyone likes? It’s still, most likely, a death sentence, so why not vote for someone you don’t like? Someone mediocre at best, not terribly popular, someone who won’t be missed. The ethics are confounding, but then, we are talking about the Hunger Games.

Snow continues, “On the fiftieth anniversary, as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes.”

“How did Haymitch win that?” I ask.

Finnick shrugs. “They don’t show that one. Not the whole thing, anyway. There was an axe involved. Maybe we can get the tape.”

Snow takes the envelope labeled “75” from the box a little boy next to him is holding. He opens the envelope, removes a piece of paper, and reads, unflinchingly, “On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors.”

“What?” Finnick sits up like he’s somehow going to get Snow’s attention and ask for clarification.

I slump down as all the air leaves my lungs.

The people on the screen are confused. Well, Snow isn’t. But everyone else is. The people of the Capitol don’t understand. I can see them trying to puzzle through it. I read their lips as questioning whispers of “Existing pool?” go back and forth.

Next to me, Finnick is rigid and tense. “No. That can’t be right. That’s not… that’s not how it works. No.”

And the people on the screen have reached the same conclusion. They are shocked, outraged even. They love us, so we cannot go back to the arena. It isn’t fair to them to have to lose twenty-three of us after they’ve had years to get attached, even become friends. And I’m sure they think they are justified in believing those things, but I have already gone numb. The arena has taken so much from me, and now it will take more. The best-case scenario is that Mags and Manta are reaped and Mags wins. No one would miss Manta. But Mags won’t win against twenty-three other tributes, all of whom are going to be younger than her. And there’s only a one in four chance that Manta will be reaped. Which means there is a one in four chance that Beck will be reaped. Or Finnick…

It finally clicks. I was never as good at math as Mako, but there’s a decent chance that Finnick and I will both go back to the arena. And only one of us can come out. The odds are no longer in our favor.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

Finnick sits in shock while I break a few plates. I don’t know how else to react. I think about walking myself off the pier like he was worried I would right after I won five years ago. It feels like a lifetime now. A different lifetime, really. At least then I knew I was done with the arena. Now I almost wish I could go back to those days. I break another plate. The front door closes. I’m not surprised. I throw one last plate at the wall, then trudge across the street. I walk past my house, hoping Dad isn’t home. Hoping he doesn’t come looking for me. I can’t face him right now. I can’t.

I don’t knock on Mags’s door. She’s told me before it’s always open, and now I’m glad. It seems like putting forth the effort to knock would kill me.

Mags and Beck are sitting silently at her kitchen table. I drop heavily into a chair and we continue sitting in silence.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

It is three hours before Finnick shows up. He kicks off his shoes and holds up the lobsters. Mags smiles.

Nothing like fresh lobster to celebrate a death sentence when you finally thought you’d get to die in peace at your own pace.

He sets the spear carefully in the umbrella stand, which would be ridiculous anywhere but Four, where anyone with an umbrella stand is sure to not own any umbrellas—we grow up in and on the water, what difference does a little rain make?—but they do make fantastic places to keep a spear clean and out of the way.

Mags takes the lobsters and starts preparing a meal. It is a mark of how shaken Beck is that he doesn’t help. Finnick leans against the wall for a long time before saying he’s going to shower. He doesn’t leave though, he just walks upstairs.

When he is gone and we can hear the sound of running water, Mags says, “You can’t go.”

“What?”

“She’s right,” Beck says, looking up for the first time since I got here. “No matter what happens, you can’t go.”

“Why? You think I won’t make it?”

Beck takes a deep breath. “Finnick won’t make it. If he loses you…” but he trails off. He doesn’t look like he has the heart to finish the thought. “You just can’t go.”

I walk upstairs. I don’t know what excuse I made, and I doubt they bought it anyway. But does it really matter at this point?

The door is locked. That’s not like him. He has no sense of (or want for, I sometimes think) privacy. I sigh, take three steps back, drop my shoulder, and ram the door.

The steam hits me like a brick wall. When my eyes stop watering from the heat and humidity, I close the door as best I can and turn to the shower. I don’t know what I expected to see, but this wasn’t it.

Finnick is sitting against the back wall, arms crossed, elbows on his knees, forehead on his arms, shaking. I don’t think he even flinched when I broke in.

“What do they mean?”

He doesn’t look up, only takes a shaky breath and says, “About?”

“You can’t go, Annie? What do you want, Mags dead?”

He finally looks up. His eyes are even redder than they were before. What did he do, go out and cry until he thought he was all cried out, then snag some lobsters for supper only to realize when he opened the door that he was not, in fact, out of tears?

“I’m sure you’ve never seen your list,” he says, “And I haven’t seen it either, but it’s written down somewhere, in a file in the Capitol. Snow has a copy. Megary Fallon’s name is on it, but it’s been crossed off. Augustus is there too, and Johanna and Gloss. Your dad, Jade and Coral, Mako’s parents. Mags, Beck, me. You’ve got a long list. You’ve got the ideal list. Friends and family, lovers, people of all ages, Victors, average citizens.” He pauses, takes a deep breath, lets it out even more slowly. “I have seen my list. It’s written down on a white piece of paper with a rose stamped at the bottom, in a drawer in Snow’s desk. My parents’ names are crossed off. And under that it’s just Mags and you. That’s it. I’ve been trying to keep you out of the Capitol for years, done stuff I’m not proud of, and come to find out that it’s all been for nothing. My list is about to get a lot shorter. And they’re right, you can’t go. I can’t sleep without you. The idea of having to live the rest of my life without you is… I’d just walk myself off the pier.”

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

We eat the lobsters quietly. Eventually, I apologize to Mags for breaking the hinges on the bathroom door. She shrugs me off and we return to silence. I can hear the voices, the screams, the thumps and slices, but I keep eating. I don’t know why. I’m not hungry. But I feel like if I quit eating, then I really have given up. And I will not give up. I won once, I can do it again.

Beck finishes eating first. He pushes his plate away and says, “This isn’t what anyone wants, but…” He pauses and looks at Mags. She gives him a reassuring nod. He takes a deep breath. “Mags and I are going to volunteer.”

“What?” I splutter.

“No!” Finnick slams his fork onto the table.

“Yes,” Beck says firmly. “We’ve talked about it. We’re old and we’ve got no one left but you two barnacle brains. So you’re not going, we are.”

“What about Manta and Cellin?” Finnick protests. He’s waving his fork a little too emphatically for me to feel completely safe, but he’s also making a valid point, so I let him continue. “Cellin’s been doing his best to drink himself to death ever since I can remember, and no one would miss Manta! Why would you volunteer?”

“Mags deserves to have a friend in the arena.” Beck is as calm as I’ve ever seen him, which is saying something.

“Everyone loves Mags! She’d have One and Two begging to be allies!”

“Finnick.” Mags puts one of her wrinkled hands on his, which is still clutching the fork.

He stares at her. “You can’t…”

“I have to. And I will.”

“No.” I say flatly. “No volunteers. That’s the whole point of the Games, right? That we all have an equal chance of getting drawn? Let’s just settle it now. No volunteers. They draw your name, you go.”

I am met with silence.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

That night I dream that they draw my name, and I am standing tall with my ridiculous heels, and I am confident—cocky, even—through it all: the goodbyes, the Parade, the Training Center, the interview with Caesar Flickerman, in which he asks if I still eat whale for breakfast and I laugh and say, “Every day, Caesar—I should have brought you some!” and the audience laughs. In the arena, I am unstoppable. And then, in the end, there are four of us left: Katniss and Peeta and Finnick and me. We fight, the four of us, on open ground, a real show I am sure. And when Peeta is dead and the rest of us dying, Katniss readies her last arrow and looks me dead in the eye. “You deserve to win.” And she lets the arrow fly.

It hisses past my shoulder. I don’t hear the thump, but I do hear the exhale. And before I can even turn, I hear the cannon. I scream, release the pressure I’ve been keeping on the gash in my side—maybe I can bleed out before Katniss. I drop to my knees next to Finnick, my vision blurring, wild with grief, waiting for death. Let her kill me.

The cannon sounds again, and I look up to see Katniss lying on her back, fist closed around the handle of the knife she has just drawn across her own throat.

Claudius Templesmith’s voice booms overhead. “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games!”

I scream incoherently, and I wake up screaming incoherently.

Finnick is there. He always is. But what makes it worse is the knowledge that someday soon, he won’t be. Or I won’t be here to need him. Or we’ll be in the arena together, all the while knowing only one of us can leave, because the Capitol will never let a pair of tributes pull that stunt again.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

I don’t live the next few months like I should. I know I should be living to the fullest, spending as much time as I can with as many people as I can, but I don’t. Jade comes for supper on Tuesdays and Fridays. I work in the office on Mondays. Finnick and I sit at the pier in miserable silence.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

Even Casca, who has never had a great deal of love for any of us but Mags, looks depressed.

“The female tribute from District Four…”

There are only two pieces of paper in the giant fishbowl. I don’t know why we have to drag this out. It’s either me or Mags. And then, like we’re under water, I hear Casca call my name.

I can hear all of it. The screams, the thunder of the buffalo herd, the booming of cannons, Merritt’s enraged shouting, Mako’s head hitting the sand…

Mags, who has been holding my hand through the whole ceremony, gives it a squeeze, then steps forward.

No.

I yank her bank. I will need a friend outside, and I trust Mags to do this for me.

She looks up at me, tears in her eyes. I shake my head. Finally, she nods.

What have I done?

But somehow, despite the stampede in my head, I stand straight and I step forward.

And then Casca calls Finnick’s name.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

We are on the train. I don’t remember getting on the train, and I have the horrifying realization that I blanked before the goodbyes. Before my only chance to say goodbye to Dad and Jade and Coral…

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts, and look desperately at Finnick. “I missed it…”

“No,” he says quietly. “They didn’t let us. Ran us right on the train.”

We sit in silence, Mags and Beck looking almost as miserable as I feel. I have no doubt they are both regretting not volunteering, but that’s too bad for them. It’s too late. Finnick and I are going back into the arena.

****

****

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Tag List:

@avoxrising @snow-dragon-rider @anakins-ride-or-die

[somestoriessomewhereelse]

Inktober 2024

1 - BACKPACK

Yesterday was the time

of going back on the road.

Today is the the time

of unpacking some truths and lies.

And tomorrow might be

the end of this times.

2 - DISCOVER

I've always thought that, in a group, I was only as best as the worst person among us; and thus being surrounded by mediocre people would make me mediocre. But I'm realizing my worth does not depend on those around me, and if I'm the only star shining in a dark night, then so be it.

3 - BOOTS 

These boots are made for walking in Koblenz. Yeah it's PLANE to say, but this is not MONEY enough to write better. My creatity feels stuck in a GERMAN CORNER, what if I drink in some magical FOUNTAIN. I know there will be some BOMBINGS during this walk, but I'll be safe up in the FORTRESS. So yeah, I've got my boots i know my roots, let's go it's PEANUTS time!

4 - EXOTIC

"Which (in western perception) is perceived as strange and distant and stimulates the imagination"

I don't know what could be the topic of today, in order not to be inappropriate, but for sure it won't be fall in Germany, because this is not stimulating at all.

5 - BINOCULAR 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but too many people can't see shit by themselves

6 - TREK 

like... star trek? bitch dafuq is this theme i'm too gay for that 

7 - PASSPORT

When a door closes, another open somewhere, inviting you to begin your next journey. But if you forget your papers, all the doors remain closed and your journey is just back home.

8 - HIKE 

Baby let's get high and higher together. It will take only one bite, of the most delicious cake, luscious sweet meant to take you to space. And we'll see dreams and panoramas to good to be true.

9 - SUN 

"What are three things that cannot stay hidden? The sun, the moon, truth." And by sun we mean you, yourself, your ego, your light. No color shall be erased, no voice shall be silence. Thus will rise your true power.

10 - NOMADIC 

It's not only about where I'm going to, but also what I'm running away from. I didn't know what I would meet, but I knew what I was leaving behind. And putting all of these things aside, turning the page and starting this new chapter, was one of the best decision of my life.

11 - SNACK 

I know you have a sweet tooth, I know I can be your midnight dinner. I can lay down naked in your bed, offering you my cupcake ready for you to bite. You can eat me until dawn, tell me I'm your delice, and eat me again all day long.

12 - REMOTE 

You can't control me. You can't negociate with me. I'm strong enough to impose my will, and make things happen the way I want them to. I don't care about what you want, when I say it's over, it's over and that's it. Next time, show me some respect and maybe I'll be more kind to you.

13 - HORIZON

It's simply the finish line. The main goal, the final objective. The end of the game. Sometimes, no need for an after. We can just sit down, contemplate the sunset, and beliève croire en nos rêves.

14 - ROAM 

Sometimes I wonder why I keep getting up - why would I? My life is exhausting, unstable, unpredictable. My thoughts wander and focus on the negative, and, suddenly: I cross her face, I see her smile. And all this bullshit gets worthy, because we are together.

15 - GUIDEBOOK 

Life tip: always bring a mantra with you. Something that calms you down and cheers you up. A guideline, a spell, any charm to feel better. Words cannot do all the work, but they are a powerful source of magic able to accomplish great miracles.

16 - GRUNGY

You think you're edgy, mysterious, cool. You're not. You're just a dirty mind in a dusty soul. You don't fit it, you don't belong, you're not interesting and nobody likes you.

17 - JOURNAL

Dear diary,

I've spent some time with my crush today. We sat under the shade of blooming cherries, and he rightfully popped mine. I'm so in love with him, I could put a ring on his... finger. They say love is blind, but I see clear in our future together. He's really the man of my dreams!

18 - DRIVE

Don't let your future insomnia ruin your present resting time.

19 - RIDGE

I had a dream about the ocean. We were standing on the top of a cliff, eating pancakes and drinking cider, contemplating the waves of a beautiful summer. Then, the dream start glitching: the colors started disrupting, your smile became crooked, what was happening? I tried to wake up but I couldn't. Was it a dream or truly my last memories of you?

20 - UNCHARTED

What if my next destination to explore was within me? What if there was a land in my mind I still don't know about? What if I could find in my heart a new treasure to cherish? What if all this time I was good enough?

21 - RHINOCEROS

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: THE HEAT. We thought we got used to the shitty heating system on board and today plot twist: THE SUN IS SHINING? in October in Germany??? gurl i'm sweating like a hooker in church i feel gooped and stomped.

22 - CAMP 

There is a forest, up north. Follow the white road and you'll find it, higher in the mountains. Walk deep into its heart, where the trees are so close together that you can't see no light. You'll feel it when you have arrived. There will be your treasure. There will be your fire, and your light. 

23 - RUST

I feel like I lost my flirting abilities. I don't know anymore how to behave with men: there is a rush to seduce them fast because I'm always moving, but I'm not good when I have no time. I've become this cringe pushy version of me, and I just miss my old lovely self. Maybe I should make no move at all.

24 - EXPEDITION

How about I stop looking for something or someone and I just stay by myself with my work and my thoughts?

25 - SCARECROW

Once upon a time, I lived in a beautiful House. The House was my castle, where I felt loved and protected. I had built for myself the perfect illusion, made out of words and dreams. One day, the House started moving, and I had to leave. From this day of my waking up, I feel cursed, and I wander looking around for a new Home.

26 - CAMERA

Lights, camera, action. I am an actor. I perform entertainments and emotions for your good graces. I play a role on this world stage to make you feel better. I am the version of me that you paid to watch. I am myself only when I'm alone. I am myself only when there is no gaze on me to witness.

27 - ROAD

It might be short, it might be long. It might be easy, it might me hard. It might be towards success, it might be towards failure. But to me, the road was never straight.

28 - JUMBO

Bigger is better, as they say. Bigger hopes, bigger dreams, shooting for the moon to end up in the stars. However, they don't teach you that the biggest strength is to learn to embrace your weaknesses. Be at peace with what you did wrong in order to feel right again.

29 - NAVIGATOR 

Time heals. Each day you're healing. It's not about forgetting, it's not about laughing about it. You won't, because you can't. But each day you suffer a little less. Until one day you don't suffer at all. And you're ready for your next love trip.

30 - VIOLIN

Why do we define people by their mistakes? Why their defaults is what we remember of them? We are always ready to point out the bad, to judge and to punish, to blame and to exclude. We now live to be opposants, to walk against each other, to succeed only if the other fail. Well, we have failed, at creating long-lasting communities, and this is our biggest mistake.

31 - LANDMARK

This is the final destination. I am the traveler. I asked the questions. Who am I? What's missing? What is the path behind, and what is the path ahead? I overcame obstacles, and got my windfall. Thus indeed I am reaching the final destination. But I've learned something all along: each cruise only leads to another one.

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 4

photo credit - @ssa-emilyhotchner​

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader 

warnings - canon typical criminal minds, stalking, angst. pretty tame chapter 

summary - “I’m on a date.” You responded flatly. The other end of the line went silent.

a/n - hi besties. so this chapter is p short compared to the last one, i had like  7k something chapter 4 and it just didnt feel right, BUT that means chapter 5 is basically done i just need to edit it soooooooooooo hopefully wont take a long time lol! enjoy, heart yall forever 

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3 

chapter 3 / chapter 5 

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The rest of the team was left in various levels of shock. Everyone was struggling to process the bomb of information that had just been revealed. With hindsight, it was easy to connect the strange levels of tension and intimacy that radiated between you and Hotch. What was more difficult to swallow, was the new understanding that Hotch had been keeping this secret for nearly five years. Random ‘trips’ that Hotch would take out of state or the subtle sprinkles of wealth showing up in the form of gifts suddenly made sense. 

This was completely uncharted territory for the entire team. Given Hotch’s history, it wasn’t too difficult to understand how protective he may be of any relationships post-Haley; but the magnitude of your relationship- both in terms of your status as well as length-, and the withholding of information even on the case was a different form of betrayal that couldn’t be kicked under the rug. 

Hotch had always been one of the fiercest advocates for unity, truth and an equal playing field when it came to information concerning a case,- Morgan was still feeling second hand embarrassment for Jordan- for him to be the one to hold back such influential info was difficult to fully wrap their heads around. Anger, of course, was felt and there would certainly be time for that anger- not even getting started on the amount of questions everyone was bound to have-, but as the team was silently processing, they all reached similar conclusions. Hotch was displaying a softness and side of him they hadn’t seen in a very long time and they wouldn’t let their valid frustrations get in the way of solving this case. 

Morgan was the first to speak, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I need to text Garcia about this.” He said, shaking the phone a bit. Everyone managed to laugh at that, all certain that Garcia would have the most interesting reaction to the news.  

“You know…, the other day when she was giving me a tour of her house, I pointed out a bottle of Dalmore 25 she had on the wall. She got really weird about it and I thought she was trying to play modest, but this, this makes a lot more sense.” JJ remarked lightheartedly. 

“So now we know Hotch has some game then, huh?” Morgan quipped, a large grin on his face. When everyone just stared blankly back at him, even more confused than they already were he continued. “Do you all not remember when he ‘magically’ got a bottle of Dalmore 45, those start at twelve grand” 

Reid was about to open his mouth and add to the conversation, but just as the words were leaving his mouth Hotch stormed back into the conference room. One hand was tightly balled in a fist while the other was gripping his phone. 

“She’s not answering her phone. Three times, it went straight to voicemail.” 

“She isn’t on set today, when she left this morning she told me she had work related errands to run.” Emily recounted, racking her brain for any more info about your whereabouts. 

Hotch strode over to an open laptop at the edge of the table, quickly hitting a series of buttons until a very flustered Garcia appeared on screen; her mouth dropping open when she saw Hotch. 

“Questions later Garcia,” Hotch opened, already anticipating that someone Derek would have informed her of the latest news, “I need you to track Y/N. I want her current and last location.” 

“Yes sir! I uh, I will do that right now for you.” Garcia responded, clearly doing her best to hold back the hoard of questions and comments she had. The sound of her vigorously typing filled the room. “Alright sir, so the bad news is that it looks like her phone is currently turned off, but! The last place it pinged at was outside of Chateau Marmont about three hours ago. Which for those of you who don’t know this place is notorious for being the A-lister hideaway-” 

“Garcia, do a wide search for her name and location for today’s date. Check to see if there’s been any media sightings on her whereabouts.” Hotch ordered. He hadn’t forgotten how uneasy it had made him once he found out how easy it was to locate you. Paparazzi were a different form of ruthless and he’d never realized how difficult it actually was for people in the spotlight until he met you. 

“Let me see…, yes sir you are right! I’m getting a bunch of hits of her entering the-” Garcia’s sentence falling off with an ‘oh’. 

“Garcia, what’d you find?” 

A headline popped up on the screen. 

“Emma Co-Stars Pictured Together Out At Lunch: Has The Love Moved Past The Screen?” 

Underneath, multiple photos of you quickly loaded. There you were, cheerily standing next to your co-star, looking up at him with a big grin on your face. The photos showed the two of you in different positions as you made your way inside. A few of him as he opened the car door for you. One of you with your arm wrapped loosely around his while you walked up the door. One of you ducking under his arm as you entered the restaurant. 

The tension in the room was palpable as everyone did their own mini attempt at profiling the photo. It was difficult, you’d clearly proven to be a great actress and they knew you were capable of manipulating your outward emotions. It was even more difficult considering it was just a handful of mediocre quality photos. 

Hotch was tightly gripping the edge of the table, forcing himself to keep a level head. He knew it was unreasonable to get angry over the idea of you with another man, but it didn’t help the pang in his heart as he recognized the genuine signs of happiness you were emitting. 

“JJ,” Hotch said, voice dangerously calm, “call the restaurant and have them discreetly tell Y/N that ‘Andi’ is calling her.” Discretion was the highest priority for him, the envelope being even further confirmation that the unsub was closely trailing you. The last thing he wanted to do was either trigger a violent reaction or cause him to go underground.

Back when the two of you had been together, out of an abundance of caution, you used to refer to Aaron as ‘Andi’ in public. You hated not being able to thank him in speeches or mention him in any capacity, so this had been your best way around it. 

“Yes sir.” JJ responded, quickly moving out of the room to make the phone call. 

“Garcia, do you have any leads on the kid that dropped off the envelope?” Hotch asked. 

“No sir. The car he left in was reported stolen a few days ago with no leads as to where it went. Camera feeds loose the car about three blocks away and his face was too obstructed to get any hits that way.” 

“Alright, once JJ comes back with confirmation Y/N’s gotten the message, I’m going to pick her up. I want the rest of you to work with Garcia and categorize these photos. Cross reference whatever you can to get a timeline.” Hotch ordered, the rest of the team not being to be told twice. 

-----

“Where the hell are you?” Aaron demanded. 

Even through the phone, you could tell he was absolutely seething. It was bad, by the time you had picked up the phone you’d amassed a total of twenty texts and nearly ten missed calls from Aaron; not even mentioning the individual missed calls you had from each member of the team. It was bad, but in your defense it had been less than an hour from the first missed call to your current response. 

What could you say? You were big on not being on your phone when you were spending time with friends. 

“What do you mean, where the hell am I,” you answered, rolling your eyes as you leaned up against one of the private bathroom countertops. “How did you describe it before Agent? I’m very in ‘demand’.”

You could hear him groan through the phone and wondered if he was running his hands over his face; something he used to always do when you were being difficult; he absolutely was. 

“Y/N-” 

“I’m on a date.” You responded flatly. The other end of the line went silent. As you were debating whether or not you should add the part about it being a publicity date, Aaron’s voice came through. 

“End it. I’m picking you up. The drive there from the station shouldn’t be more than 30 minutes.” Aaron said, his voice dangerously even. 

“I’m perfectly capable of getting back to the station on my own Agent. I don’t need you stirring up an absolute scene-”

“Y/N,” he started, voice commanding in a way that told you he was serious, “a package was delivered to the station today. Filled with hundreds of photos of you over the years,” he paused again and you could hear him take a deep breath before continuing, “there’s photos of us in there. The unsub knows.” 

You went silent, mouth opening over and over, unable to find anything to say. You had always envisioned a world where you and Aaron were some sort of ‘public’ knowledge, but never like this, obviously never like this. 

“Y/N, I need to come get you,” Hotch said, his voice much softer now, “I can’t-, I need to see that you’re safe.” 

“I’ll make something up,” You said quickly, before adding, “there’s a private valet area, I’ll send you the instructions to get past the gates and I’ll let the security know you’re coming to pick me up.” 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, don’t draw any attention to yourself.” And with that he hung up, leaving you stunned in the bathroom. You gripped the edges of the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror. You wished you could stay in the bathroom for hours, desperately needing some time to privately process what Aaron had told you. 

That wasn’t in the cards for you though, so you quickly did some pointless attempts at ‘straightening’ your appearance- more for your benefit than anything else- before you turned the lock and left back for your table 

You slipped back into your seat across from your friend and co-star Johnny. 

“Your friend alright?” Johnny asked. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you said with a small smile, “she’s fine. But my Agent called me when I was in there, she apparently managed to set up some last minute FBI consult to help me prep for an audition I have coming up. According to her, she ‘pulled a lot of strings for this’.” You said, rolling your eyes. The lie sliding out of your mouth with ease. “Whoever this FBI dude is, is supposed to come pick me up right about,” you looked down at your phone, “now apparently. So I guess our little date has to end early.” You said, giving him an exaggerated sad pout. 

Johnny rolled his eyes at that, giving you a small laugh. The two of you were both equally uninterested, romantically, in each other. But you did get along quite well, so being ‘forced’ into hanging out with each other outside of filming wasn’t bad; you’d probably hang out outside of filming anyway 

“No worries, we still on for running lines later tonight?” He asked. 

You thought for a moment, before nodding. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Now, help me flag down the waiter, I want to get one last drink in before I go.” 

-----

About twenty minutes later you found yourself waiting out in the private courtyard of the restaurant. You were doing your best to calm your nerves, this being the first opportunity you had to try and process what Aaron had told you. You should’ve seen it coming, if the stalker was so obsessed with you, he must’ve noticed Aaron in your life at some point. But you had been so careful. 

Then the other obvious thing hit you. His team knew. You were wondering how the team had taken the news when you saw the black SUV come into view. Aaron quickly stopped the car in front of you and before you could move to open the passenger door yourself, he was out of his seat in a flash, coming over to where you were standing. 

For a moment you were both silent. You felt tiny under his unrelenting gaze, his eyes scanning your entire being as he ensured himself you were okay. 

Without thinking, you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist, ensnaring his arms tight to his side. As soon you realized what you did, you were internally kicking yourself, moving to loosen your arms nearly as fast as you had put them there.

“Aaron I-” 

Before you could finish your attempted apology, Aaron had pulled his arms from under yours and repositioned them around you, pulling you tightly against him. Your head naturally fit perfectly under his and you took in a deep breath, letting his scent surround you. It was cliche, but you both were thinking about how perfectly your bodies melded against each other.  

You felt his hand rest gently on the back of your head, gently stroking down your hair in a steady rhythm. “I got you.” He whispered, so quiet you nearly didn’t hear it. 

You pulled your head back so you could look up at him. “I’m scared.” You said, admitting it aloud for the first time.  

Aaron was staring hard down at you, his face soft. “I know,” he started, moving a piece of hair away from your face, “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?” 

You nodded at that, missing his warmth when he started to pull away from you. He kept a protective hand on your lower back, guiding you towards the passenger seat. He opened the door and helped you in, gently shutting the door behind you. As soon as your door was shut he wasted no time in getting in the driver's seat, starting the car up again. With a quick check to make sure your seatbelt clicked was in, Aaron peeled out of the parking lot. 

A few floors above the courtyard, in one of the private hotel rooms, a curtain was angrily thrown shut. 

-----

taglist - @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @yallgotkik @sunflowersandotherthings @averyhotchner @kimmy-k-k @uwu-sebastianstan

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no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own criminal minds or any of the character involved in it.

[cursedwateringcan]

Alright, I feel like I've played enough PoOT now to give you guys a run down on what I think. The TL;DR version of what I think is that, while there is still fun to be had, its a fairly mediocre experience and thats unfortunate.  let’s start off with the bad. The Bad - Frame rate issues are still a thing despite the update. Now, I have literally the oldest switch, like its literally from launch in 2017 so I don't know if that has anything to do with it, so please keep that in mind. I’d be interested to know if people with newer switches are still experiencing any frame rate issues after the patch. The only thing I can think as to WHY this is, is that perhaps there is some asset optimisation issues and potential occlusion culling issues, which CAN be solved with further updates, but as of now, frame rate is still a thing. It’s not like its chugging all the time, just when I have a lot on screen, like when my sprinklers go off. Loading times between areas seem fine though? - I read the reviews about the dialogue, and it IS pretty bad. The events and heart events are so far pretty fun and give you a good idea about characters but this doesn't carry over to the daily conversations. And its a shame because there is such a big cast! Characters don’t seem to have special heart lines, or at least, I’m not good enough friends with characters to be able to tell? They talk a lot about town improvements, farming tips and festivals but all seem fairly cardboard cut out. I know they are potentially addressing this in a patch, so hopefully it improves.  - While it was pointed out to me that there has been a bunch of Harvest Moon games without character portraits, I have to say I think that this game certainly seems to either need portraits, or sort out their cameras when talking to NPCs, because you can’t often see their faces when you talk to them. (although, having the camera too shallow would cause more frame rate issues lawl) - I don’t like that you can basically only have one meal (except you can have as much dessert as you like) for most of the day. Makes going to the mines really annoying, because I can’t top up my energy.  - I can tell the makers are going to peeve me off eventually. I wish you could load them as much as you like, not just one thing as at a time. I swear this was done in Trio of Towns?  - I don’t like that I can order a pizza at the cafe, but still be eating a fish in the cutscene.  - Speaking of cutscenes, this is just a minor pet peeve but some of the introduction cutscenes just don’t seem to appear very naturally like they have in the past, like, store scenes triggered before I even met the store owner? Also the ‘harvest goddess’ cut scenes I don’t understand at all. I have no idea what I’m doing to trigger them or what her point is.  The Mediocre.  - It seems like its going to be a pretty easy game. I’m only in summer now but I’ve already made three improvements to the town. Town improvements requests don’t make sense to me because the mayor might ask for 5 lumber, 10 glass, and a brick, but give him the brick and you don’t need to give the rest?  - Overall there isn’t much to explore, and that will change with the DLC, but a lot of people don’t want to buy/can’t afford it! At least a couple of other areas would have been nice. - Its quite obvious they’re taking influence from SDV and Animal Crossing. (Which I’m sure is funny for the creator of SDV since that game is basically a love letter to Harvest Moon!) but I don’t think any of it is pulled off particularly well. Its not terrible, but it’s not great. I like the tent at the beginning (although it felt obvious that it was animal crossing inspired?) because it makes sense in context. But the museum I’m not super into, the items you get are annoying because they don’t stack so they take up so much room and you can’t appraise multiple things at once. I am absolutely not a fan of the new fishing. I still don’t understand it.  - I don’t understand why some things are makers, and some things are recipes? Like, why do I need a maker to make bricks, but I just have a recipe for mortar?  The Good

- I do actually like the farm land, its keeping me very busy and I like being able to customise all of it.  - Despite the characters seeming like cardboard to interact with, the character models are actually quite awesome.  - I like the details in the town. Being able to run around and take pictures with the camera is fun and seeing all the baby pics on the wall! - Mines are back!! Mines Mines Mines! Hooray!  - Character customisation is good, its interesting the way that gender is presented in PoOT. I think thats it’s really good not being locked into ‘girl’ and ‘boy’ style of dress/body shape. (although you still have to pick between female/male pronouns and they can’t be changed).  - Events and heart events are good.  - All the animals are super cute, and I have a dog called B E A N B O Y.  Ok the good list seems really short because I can’t think of anything else. I’ll keep playing because i’m still having fun, I still have plenty to do. But it certainly did grip me as much as trio of towns. I think it’ll be better when they patch it. 

[redhawtriot]

Master List✨✨✨

This master-list is a directory (of sorts [look, I tried my best]) of the all of the stories/head canons posted on this page!

SFW=👌

NSFW =💞

Fluff=❤️

Angst=😭

Humor=😂

💞 😂  Endeavor Suga Baby Series: Oneshots and shit posts about being endeavors suga baby lol. (Enji Todoroki x Reader)

Part1 Part2 Part3

👌😂❤️ Crush Journal: How tododeku (separately) would confess to their crushes. a.k.a. Izuku takes notes on how to be the perfect SIMP (Deku x reader Todoroki x Reader)

👌❤️ Bunny: Read this if you have a thing for being called bunny (Todoroki x reader, Bakugou x reader)

👌😂❤️ Art and Oreos: How our two top students deal with having a civilian girlfriend (Bakugou x Reader, Todoroki x Reader)

👌😂❤️ Problem Child: After the cute stage every parent has to eventually deal with a shitty teen. BNHA characters as parents (Midoriya, Shinsou, Bakugou, Iida, Kirishima) 

😂 What up my name’s ‘Gerund’ I’m 19 and I never FUCKING learned how to read.  Lord, bless this mess (Kaminari x Reader) 

👌😂❤️ Koala: You don't want your bed to get cold a.k.a. Todoroki with a clingy ass significant other (Todoroki x Reader)

💞 😭 Nobody’s Hero: Ground Zero saves you from being mugged one night and can’t seem to let you go. Warning: slight non/con (Yandere Bakugou x Reader)

😭 Mirror Images: Warning: mentions of still birth. (Bakugou x Reader)

👌😂❤️ Missed Call form Blasthole: Your first time being invited to spend the night with your boyfriend (Bakugou x Reader)

👌😂❤️ Shinsou Shits: You and your husband, Bakugou, are tasked with babysitting the twin seeds of Satan (Bakugou x Reader ft.Mina x Shinsou)

👌😂 Wanna Win?: Kirishima asks for Bakugou’s help to find the words to tell you that he loves you, but things don’t exactly go according to plan... (Kirishima x Reader ft Kiribaku)

💕😂 Operation Unvirgin:  Bakugou never bothered with girls. He’s got too much shit to deal with; however, he finds himself in a world of cognitive dissonance when he hears that his rival is about to lose “it” before him. hWHAT? That loser is gonna beat him in something?! He thinks that FUCK NOT. (Bakugou x reader)

👌😂❤️ Whose Manz is this?!: You get a box of chocolates and a love note from a little broccoli head boy and let’s just say... it truly does take a village to raise a child. (’Izuku Midoriya being wing-manned by class 1-A’ x Reader)

👌❤️ Grey Area: You are beginning to feel a little jealous over Todoroki, but it shouldn’t matter because you're just friends... right? (Todoroki x Reader ft TodoMomo)

Valentines Weekend: Just random, unrelated short stories, headcanons and drabbles for all your loving needs. (BNHA x reader [Look. there is over 23 “x reader” pairings in this! I cant name each one])

Part 1: type (HCS) (👌😂❤️)

Part 2: food play (💞)

Part 3: Things my boyfriend has said to me (👌❤️😂)

👌😭 Two Birds on a Wire: Hawks unexpectedly finds himself falling for love with a villain during his time as a double agent. How will he handle having to betray the woman he loves? trilogy (Hawks x Reader feat. Shigaraki, Dabi, Twice, and minor OCs)

Part 1, 

💞😂❤️ Deprived: They fucked up and you take it upon yourself to teach them a lesson in the coldest way possible: putting your body on lock down. How the hell are they gonna survive? (Todoroki x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Midoriya x Reader, Iida x Reader)

👌❤️😂 Curly Hair Headcanons: (HCS) Let’s see how these boys do with a girlfriend who has curly hair... (Todoroki x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Kirishima x Reader)

👌❤️😂Plant Daddy: Bakugou with a significant other who is obsessed with plants-- fragile, defenseless plants… I am sure nothing will go wrong there. (Bakugou x Reader)

👌😭When Cheated On Part 1: Shinsou finds out that you have been cheating on him. (Shinsou x Reader)

👌😭When Cheated On Part 2: Bakugou finds out that you have been cheating on him. (Bakugou x Reader)

👌😂❤️Tinder Games: You like to play tinder for fun, and it is all fun in games until a certain someone swipes right for you… (Bakugou x Reader, Iida x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Midoriya x Reader, Kaminari x Reader, Kirishima x Reader)

👌😂❤️Drunk in Love: New Years Eve Special! Can any of these messes properly handle their liquor? Find out! (Bakugou x Reader, Midoriya x Reader, Yaoyorozu x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Kirishima x Reader, Shinsou x Reader)

👌😂❤️Bad Dreams Fluff n Stuff: You wake up from a bad dream crying and Bakugou has to unclog his emotional constipation to support you. (Bakugou x Reader)

👌😂❤️Holiday Edition: Christmas with your boyfriend’s family is always a spectacle… (Bakugou x Reader)

👌😂❤️Holiday Edition: This is the first time you met Kaminari’s family! You gave him one job to prepare for the event…. One job... smh… (Kaminari x Reader)

👌😂High school: (HCS) Gender neutral Reader is just tryna make it through a school day after Sero smoked them out (ft. Bakugou, Midoriya, Jirou, Iida, Aizawa, Kaminari, and Todoroki)

👌❤️😂 How to Stop Liking a Stoner: Bakugou can’t help but falling in love with your delinquent ass, but that doesn't mean he is gonna fall quietly without a fucking fight. (Bakugou x Reader)

👌😂Tectonic Plates and Platonic Dates: You and Kirishima are platonic buddies that secretly watch romantic comedies together. Everything is chill until your hot-headed twin brother finds out! (Kirishima x Reader ft. Bakugou, Kaminari, and Sero)

👌😂MHA Charecters as Candy: (HCS) What was that? What candy would these MHA characters be!? Wait... oh… You never asked? Oh okay… I guess I’ll just leave this here anyway… *sniff-sniffle*… (Bakugou, Midoriya, Kirishima, Kaminari, Mineta, Monoma, Yaoyorozu, Sero, Shinsou)

👌😭❤️The Same Side of Anything: Dabi is totally a Todoroki in this. Romeo and Juliet did it better probably, but I love the idea of star-crossed lovers. Read this if you’re into mediocre poetic themes.  (Dabi x Reader)

👌😂Crackhead Post: Reader regrets letting the three stooges into their life (ft. Kaminari, Sero and Kirishima)

👌😂 ❤️ Soft Dad Moments: What would prompt some of the MHA dads to buy their children a plushie? Warning: Some of these dads are so sweet that you might need to see a dentist after. (Bakugou x Reader, Kirishima x Reader, Dabi x Reader, Shigaraki x Reader)

💞 😭 Baby Boom: You end up prego after a one night stand and Bakugou learns how to be a decent human being (Bakugou x reader)

Month 1,  Month 2, Month 3, Month 4

Interactive Series (You voted on the outcomes):

💞😭 😂 ❤️Sole Mates: Your every day life as a business woman is rudely interrupted by an explosive hero’s name being painfully imprinted on the sole of your foot, bounding the two of you’s pain, emotions and thoughts. (Bakugou x Reader, past Izuku X Reader)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

💞😭Caught in The Act: You find out that your fiancé cheated on you, your grandmother’s dresser is ruined, Kirishima is a precious gift from god, and… wait, when did Todoroki get so hot? (Bakugou x Reader ft Todoroki, Kirishima and a few minor OC’s)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4,  Part 5 Finale

Sequel (just a lil writing experiment. pay no mind if you like the original ending): Part 1

Tsugi No Hero Academia: a Next gen AU me and my crackhead friends conjured up feat. Bakugou’s son as the MC 

[leviathanswingman]

love is a losing game, chapter 5: at the doctor’s office

Lucifer was sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair in the waiting room of the doctor's office, clad in what could only be described as a mediocre attempt at a disguise. He had swapped his pristine waistcoat and dress shirt combination out for an oversized black hoodie he had borrowed from Beelzebub without asking beforehand. His face was partially covered with a face mask, more so to hide his identity than prevent his fellow demons from catching whatever seemed to be ailing him. After all, Lucifer was a well known face in the devildom. Landing on the front page of some overrated gossip magazine was the last thing he needed at the moment, especially since he had conveniently failed to mention his visit to the doctor's office to anyone who knew him. It would be quite bothersome if they found out from a not so well meaning third party, so the safest option was for him to remain in disguise Lucifer pulled the heavy hood a bit further down to his face as he took note of the other people in the waiting room. Of course, Lucifer had chosen the perfect time to have a scheduled doctor's appointment. The room was packed to the brim with sniffling demons of all ages. There was a little D running around, apparently trying to win the award for most annoying toddler to walk hell. Lucifer massaged the bridge of his nose and let out a deep breath of air. The stuffed waiting room felt suffocating and the overlapping scents of different strong perfumes, stale coffee and disinfectant  did nothing for the headache that had been pestering Lucifer ever since he'd returned home from the club with a drunk Asmodeus in tow. Lucifer started to shake his left leg up and down in what could be misinterpreted as a nervous tic, but was actually nothing more than proof of his current impatience. The demon sitting next to him tried multiple times to engage him in polite but nonsensical small talk as Lucifer scrolled through his DDD, trying to look as bored and unapproachable as possible. He was annoyed to see that his tactic did not work out whatsoever. The demon next to him was apparently hell-bent on making a new friend at the doctor's office. Lucifer crossed his arms in front of his chest and suppressed an annoyed groan. The close proximity to this other demon did nothing to soothe his terrible nausea. However, since the waiting room was packed already Lucifer had no choice but to remain in his seat and put up with it. Although in the beginning Lucifer did find a certain kind of interest in seeing the way people interacted with him, thinking he was regular demon, he had quickly found himself bothered by the lack of respect even faster. He just wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible and then be left alone. The universe however seemed to have different plans for him. Just as the ever so adamant demon pulled out their very own DDD to show Lucifer a picture of some brat he had taken in,the doctor's assistant peeked her head through the door, her pretty curls bouncing with the slightest of movements, and nodded towards Lucifer. To his luck, she had apparently remembered Lucifer's request to not be called by name to keep his identity a secret from the public eye. After all, Lucifer was not the most common of names in the devildom. Lucifer removed himself from the waiting room as quickly as possible before the demon that had been bothering him for the past half an hour could say one word more, or even worse, ask for his number. Without looking back even once Lucifer followed the secretary who was already leading him towards the doctor's examination room. „Terribly sorry for the long wait, but as you can see we're swamped right now. The practice down the street got closed because the doctor's wife found out her husband was cheating on her, so she ripped off his right hand. An eye for an eye, you know? A real tragedy though,“ she chattered on as Lucifer stepped into the empty examination room. „Not for him, but for the wife of course.“ „Most certainly,“ Lucifer answered stiffly, a bit taken aback by the situation, hoping the conversation was over now. He wasn't sure what sort of answer the assistant expected from him after this conversational bomb she had dropped ever so casually. She hovered in the doorway for another moment. „The doctor should be with you in a second, honey.“ She closed the door behind herself as she left in a pace far too comfortable considering the state of the practice. Lucifer stared at the door for a moment, perplexed. To have another demon address him so casually despite knowing damn well who he was. That woman certainly feared nothing and no one. Although normally Lucifer would feel offended, right now he found himself somewhat amused by this woman's strangely laid-back behaviour. He slipped back his hood, pulled down the face mask and sat down on the chair opposite the doctor's desk. Now finally by himself again, he took notice of how the nausea gradually subsided again until it had simmered down to nothing more than a dark, buzzing premonition in the back of his mind. A few minutes later the door opened with a soft clack and Lucifer made sure not to turn around until he heard it close again. The doctor, a tall demon with impressive horns and an almost weirdly symmetrical face, approached him with confident steps and shook his hand quickly after he had stood up. It was a good, strong handshake and Lucifer couldn't help but nod in approval. „Welcome, Lucifer,“ she greeted before walking around the table and dropping down onto the chair, motioning towards Lucifer to do the same. „So what brings you here? I see your brothers come here all the time, yet I don't think I've treated you more than three times ever since I started working here. Are you maybe a bit of an iatrophobe?“ Lucifer pushed his hair back before starting to speak. For some reason, today he found himself surrounded by infuriatingly talkative people. „I do not have Iatrophobia. I refuse to go to the doctor for something as simple as a cold. If I can cure it myself I will do so, which is why you see me less often than my brothers. I do not see any problems with that.“ The doctor simply watched Lucifer as he answered her question. „Interesting,“ she nodded. „So what can I help you with?“ Lucifer took a deep breath. Technically, he still had time to leave the doctor's office to deal with whatever this was by himself. He was Lucifer the Morning Star, he did not need anyone. Yet despite these strong feelings of aversion that were boiling inside of him, Lucifer knew that he needed to do  the correct thing right now. Lashing out out of a misplaced feeling of overwhelming arrogance was not the kind of behaviour that Lucifer could display proudly. So rather reluctantly, he forced himself to relax his shoulders and lean back. After all, knowing what exactly was wrong with him was already a step towards improvement. „Since Saturday morning I have been experiencing strange bursts of nausea. They seem to differ in intensity depending on the situation, but in the worst case I have had until now I ended up having to rest on the floor for a quarter-hour. I assume you understand that I cannot afford to have side effects like these. They are disruptive and unpleasant and keep me from doing my job to my best abilities.” The doctor nodded as she propped her chin up with one hand. „Any other symptoms?“ „Aside from headaches and migraines, no, but I have been getting these for ages so I am quite certain that they are in no way related to the nausea.“ „Alright. I will take your blood and run it through the system, so we should know more in a second.“ At the doctor's request Lucifer moved over to the surgery couch and rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie. He watched her closely as she disinfected her hands, put on gloves and gathered the appliances she needed to draw his blood. Lucifer stared at the needle as it was routinely pushed into the sensitive skin at the crook of his elbow, followed by dark red blood quickly filling up the vial of an empty syringe. When she was done the doctor pressed soft cotton against the little red puncture wound and suddenly yelled out loud. „Sweetheart!“ Lucifer refrained from rubbing his temples. „Next time I would prefer a warning, alright?“ he said rather pointedly. The door opened and as Lucifer's head snapped around to see who had entered, he recognized the assistant from before. „Yes, Miss Doctor?“ The doctor simply extended her arm and shook the vial of blood. The doctor's assistant seemed to understand her without any words and simply grabbed the vial before leaving the room again. „Got it!“ Lucifer turned back around to his doctor and noticed a small smile sneaking up on her face. „My wife,“ she explained before turning back around to her patient. „Let's get your physical over with while Preta gets the results of your blood work. Please remove your clothes.“ Lucifer did as he was asked to. As the doctor whose name tag read 'Naamah' in bold, black letters, carefully examined his body the room was filled with silence. Naamah turned to Lucifer's backside and suddenly halted for a short moment before finishing the exam. „You can put your clothes back on.“ Lucifer pulled his hoodie back over his head as the door opened once again and the doctor's assistant, Preta, hurried over to her wife, handing her several sheets of paper. „Thank you, darling.“ “You're welcome!” She left again and Lucifer watched the doctor closely as she flipped through page after page. While she scanned through the last sheet of paper however, her eyebrows furrowed bit by bit. „So?“ Lucifer asked almost impatiently. Naamah put down the papers and sat down on her chair again, then picked up the last sheet of paper one more time to reread it. „Alright. I think I see the problem here,“ she finally said. „I have one more question for you, just so we can rule out anything else.“ Lucifer crossed his arms in front of his chest. The faster he got all of this over with the better. „Have you had any significant romantic or sexual relations in the past week?“ The world seemed to stop for several seconds as Lucifer stared at the woman in front of him. He had expected any sort of uncomfortable question, but this... „I hardly see how this could be of importance to you,“ he answered harshly. There was no reason for a medical professional to ask him this specific question. Or rather, there simply shouldn't be a reason for his doctor to ask him a question ever so private in nature, not when his sole symptom was debilitating nausea. „Answer the question, please.“ He had already stepped over his own shadow and dragged himself to the doctor with his problems, so Lucifer accepted defeat and rubbed his temple with two fingers as he answered. „Yes, I have had sexual relations in the past week. You are inquiring about this because?“ Naamah folded her hands together and leaned slightly forward. „Multiple partners or a singular partner?“ „One person. Only one person.“ The doctor nodded her head as if Lucifer had just confirmed her suspicions. She lifted her head and looked at Lucifer directly. „I'm just going to give it to you straight. It's very rare to happen, but it seems that you have formed a bond without you nor your partner knowing.“ Lucifer simply stared at her for several moments. „What are you talking about?“ „It seems like the reason for your side effects is that you have become mates with your partner, but neither of you have been aware of it. Your body is showing withdrawal symptoms. Headaches, dizziness, nausea, poor concentration, heightened irritability. As I said, this doesn't happen often, but it's definitely not unheard of.“ The world stopped turning right then and there. This was what Lucifer had feared the most. Not only were his symptoms serious and acknowledged, they were undeniably tied to Diavolo. Although a part of him refused to even consider the possibility of what the doctor had just told him, an even bigger part inside of him knew she had to be right. He didn't want her to be right. This was the kind of truth that he happily refused to believe in because there was no way for him to accept it just like that. „You must be wrong.“ Naamah shook her head and pointed at Lucifer himself. „I understand that you can't believe me that easily, so please go over to the mirror and take off your shirt so you can see for yourself.“ Lucifer walked over to the mirror with almost robotic movements and took of his hoodie once again. „Turn around and look at your neck please.“ Lucifer did as he was told and upon raking his neck, he saw a truth he simply could not deny. Right there, on the nape of his neck, where days before had been a dark purple hickey, was now a pale, yet definitely noticeable sigil forming with delicate dark red strokes. Shocked, Lucifer slowly reached up and let shaking fingers run over the fresh sigil. He felt neither bumps nor edges, but instead noticed how his skin tickled in an almost coy fashion upon contact. This could not be his life. There was no way. Perhaps all of this was nothing more than an intricate lucid nightmare, it had to be. „Lucifer?“ His head snapped back to Naamah. For once, he found himself at a loss for words. How would he ever be able to explain this situation? Lucifer stared at his reflection and noted dark circles and tired eyes.   „Does he need to know?“ The doctor sighed as she returned to her chair. „Technically, no. I would strongly advise you to tell him though. The fact that you have developed withdrawal symptoms already tells me that were the one to accept the mark first. Your partner might not experience symptoms at all, but the sigil will appear on his skin as well.“ Without wanting to, his hand shot back up to the nape of his neck. There was no way he could just accept all of that. „You must be mistaken. I can tell you, there is no way i could have formed a bond in the span of one single night,“ Lucifer forced out and the doctor sighed. “It is impossible.” „I know this is hard to accept, but this does happen from time to time. Your symptoms will only become less intense if you go and clear things up with your partner. Until then I can prescribe you suppressants which will help with the nausea and the headaches, but keep in mind that they are not an eternal solution. You can safely take them for a month if you stretch it out, but not longer than that, do you understand me?“ Staring straight ahead for several seconds, Lucifer found his mind adrift, far away from the clean doctor's office his physical form was sitting in at the moment. The universe really seemed to have it out for him. How could he have been so foolish to just abandon his beliefs in the heat of the moment in exchange for what? A romantic night with Diavolo, Lord Diavolo, his superior and friend of decades upon decades? This was the universe's way of punishing him for daring to be arrogant enough to assume that his actions wouldn't have consequences. If anything, he should know better than any other demon walking in hell that every single one of your actions had consequences. With all of the many mistakes he had ever made, this one might have been the most stupid one. Because usually, Lucifer knew better. He had refused to look at Diavolo as anything more than his lord and his superior for so long exactly because he knew better. He knew for a fact that some things were too good to be true. Those kind of things were generally followed by great misfortune. And now, Lucifer had to deal with the repercussions, had to deal with the punishment for allowing himself to follow his emotions instead of relying on cold, brash logistics. „Lucifer?“ He snapped out of his train of thought and hurriedly put his hoodie back on. „Of course. What were you saying about suppressants before?“ Naamah narrowed her eyes, but did her job without mentioning anything else that could possibly push Lucifer's boundaries. After all, she was a doctor and her job was to make sure her patients were correctly informed and cared for. She simply had to trust that they would follow her words.

Twenty minutes later, Lucifer left the office, a freshly printed prescription sheet weighing heavily in the back pocket of his trousers. On his way back to the house of lamentation he picked up the suppressants and stared at them for a good minute. He hated the sight of them, hated what they were implying. The back of his neck tickled tauntingly as he threw the orange pill bottle back into the white plastic bag, applying much more force than needed before he continued his way back home. He could've taken the bus back to the house of lamentation, but somehow, Lucifer felt restless and unhinged. So instead of a 10 minute ride he took on 45 minutes of walking instead, hoping that it would give him enough time to  calm down, keep his face and portray the meticulous big brother again as if nothing of significance had happened. It turned out that in the end, taking a 45 minute walk hadn't helped much with the disarranged state of his mind. Lucifer entered the house of lamentation and let the doors slam shut behind him. On the way up to his room he passed no one but Mammon, who simply stared at him in a confused manner for several moments,but didn't utter any words to his big brother, which admittedly, was a good thing. Lucifer wasn't all too sure how he would have reacted if Mammon had dared to approach him. The doors to his room slammed shut behind him and Lucifer threw the white plastic bag onto his bed before going after it and pulling out the orange pill bottle. He popped it open and shook out one singular little pill, turning it around between his thumb and pointer before swallowing it dry. Lucifer let himself drop down onto his bed, not even bothering to switch Beel's sweater out with his usual waistcoat and dress shirt combination. He simply laid there and stared at the ceiling. He knew he should be coming up with a plan by now, thinking about all possible outcomes and most agreeable endings, but after having found out that he had formed a mating bond with Diavolo, in the middle of a one night stand of all things, Lucifer had to take a moment to breathe. He had to take a breather to simply come to terms with all of it. Just as he was about to get up again the ringing of his DDD filled the silence. Lucifer retrieved it from the hoodie's kangaroo pocket and stared at the screen in aggravated defeat. It was Lord Diavolo. He gathered himself and fixed his hair before accepting the call, letting his professional persona take over. He was Lucifer the Morning Star and he would be damned if he let something as simple as a misplaced mating bond destroy the life he had built up ever so diligently. Without any hesitation Lucifer picked up the call as he took note of the way his body filled with nausea in the span of mere seconds. „Diavolo. What can I assist you with?“

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4,  Chapter 6 , Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Chapter 10

[starsbegantofall]

events and how they have been... eventing

Something I have been trying to keep in mind since 2021 started and I realized, “we’re not getting out of this pandemic, not truly,” I wanted to live my best life. Obviously my 2020 efforts to make true and lasting change in this country amounted to almost nothing in the end, but hey, I tried my best to help others beyond my career during the pandemic, that must count for something.

This year, I imagined that every 2 weeks is my last 2 weeks to live, that I contracted the deadly variant of coronavirus on top of some other illness, therefore I need to live for myself (living for others did not work out lol) so I can leave this mortal coil with no regrets. I put together a bucket list of the simpler things I felt I could easily accomplish, and used social media to try to keep myself accountable and on track.

If ya really nosy, read below

1. aesthetic design journey - I wanted to spruce up where I live so that I’m happy living and sleeping in it, hence I am making monthly blog posts to help motivate me. Work from home depends on a clean and pleasant environment, very important. Related, I am also reading books on gardening and konmari and attempting a few things. Am I making much progress? No, but at least it was better than the totally ugly mess before.

2. sewing projects - I dug out a gifted notebook from decades ago I never used and listed all of my sewing projects so that if I died, at least that notebook was loved, and I made some progress on my sewing. there’s mending and cosplay and lolita on the list, but I also want to make some normie wearable clothing to give a personal flair to my closet that isn’t from a corporation. Like pajamas and blouses or shorts/skirts.

2a. historical costuming - some lolitas I followed moved onto historical costuming (I guess so they can go to ultra fancy balls that lolitas would not normally go to , pre-pandemic of course), and I wanted to try my hand at one to test my sewing skills. currently working on an 18th century court gown wearable test muslin, not sure if I want to invest in real silk for a final gown until I know I can handle sewing it.

2b. use up fabric and materials that needs using up - as I began reorganizing my old costumes, I decided to do my best to sew up from my fabric stash before moving on and buying more fabric. I already failed at this (twice this year lol) but those are the last two times, I promise!

3. other hobbies - over the years I accumulated a lot of random craft materials that I never really used. no more! I did some cross stitch embroidery, badge rosettes, resin crafting, pressed flowers, and paper clay sculpting this year.  Would like to work on painting and calligraphy, markers and multimedia, more clay sculpting, plastic crafts, floral arrangements, book making, leather work, as well as graphic design and programming for my own video games.

4. cooking - a carry over from 2020, trying new recipes regularly, both Asian cuisine and whatever ingredients are in season. This is my favorite past time, even if some of the recipes turn out mediocre, many of them are better (taste and nutrition-wise) than the fast food I would be getting otherwise, and also don’t give me (as much) food poisoning.

5. finishing any of my several unfinished fics that are literally on the last chapter but haven’t been touched in years and ppl keep asking me about them. I think about them constantly but the words do not appear on the document. Every weekend I tell myself I’ll work on them but I don’t. I don’t.

6. rework my website... not sure if I really want to do this at all lol. but I bought the domain, so I really should migrate my blogs over for archival sake.

7. 2 pieces of “finished” art a month, one of them related to videogames so that my yearly art survey won’t have holes in it - I somehow failed to finish 2 this month, but technically I drew more than 2 drawings, just one of them was a comic and not post-worthy. Really, I need to stop procrastinating until the 25th lol

8. learn Chinese and Vietnamese - aka make use of the Rosetta account I paid money for

9. use up the “good stuff” - wear that new nail polish, light those fancy candles you never light, bring out those shoes that are uncomfortable but look awesome, drink that wine or eat that candy, take selfies just because. life is short and miserable.

This is a lot of stuff, but I’ve made a fair amount of progress halfway through 2021. I would say almost every 2 weeks and definitely every month I’ve checked something off my list that I could be proud of should I die from coronavirus complications the next day. And that’s what is important to me.

Whether or not you found this list entertaining, I will try to make wrap-up posts every other month for anyone wanting to go on this journey with me. Otherwise, I hope people at least stay healthy and take care of themselves as best as they can.

[stevenuniversetanzanite]

Fallen Angel (Venable X reader) Part 3

General Notice: I’m trying to get more works out during this time that is rough for all of us. That being said I am trying to keep it's quality up.

I googled Ms Venable’s cane to find out what the topper was for like one line in this chapter and boy was I not disappointed. Also, I am going to post the first chapter of the prequel later tonight. I’ll shove the link under and at the end if you want to check that.

Prequel Link: The Angel Among Us (Cordelia x reader) Plot: The event’s leading up to Y/N joining Michael and the Cooperative. 

Summary/idea: Two strangers come to ‘save’ the occupants of outpost 3. Neither are what they seem.

Warnings: N/A

Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4, Part 5 (Will add as I go)

It was the first time you had been up at mealtime since the first day. You decided to grace the dinner hall with your presence. Upon entering Venable commanded two of the greys to get you a meal and a chair and place it at the end of the table opposite her. It was the only vacant spot unless you did some shuffling the chairs around. 

 You had no problem with where you were placed. It allowed you to chat with the nearby purples while occasionally glancing up to see Venable deciphering you. 

 You were too much and yet too little. A hindrance to her whole way of running and yet the few rules you followed you followed to a T. She should kill you, save any trouble you could cause but she didn’t mind your presence. Not to mention they would have to deal with Michael as well. 

 It was better to leave you alive for now. You may still have something useful in you. 

 After last night, her tolerance to your presence changed. For a moment, she was warming up to you. Were you eccentric? For sure but it was tolerable.

 You wouldn’t look at her after her examination, she disgusted you, or so her mind had led her to believe. She couldn’t see a noticeable change in your behaviour besides you being awake and present for dinner. 

 You got stuck into your cube the moment it was placed before you. Venable watched eyes glued onto your every move as you indulged in your mediocre cube. You acted like it was the best meal you had in years. 

 "So, Ms L/N, tell us about yourself." Venable said. This was the first time she actively sought out a conversation during mealtime. All the occupants looked around at each other confused but remained silent.

 "There's not much to say-"

 "You always seem to have a comment to make in the most mundane of things, I'm sure you can come up with something."

 "Alright? Uh~" you tried to remember what you were going to say. There was so much, maybe too much to tell. "My childhood was uneventful, I went to finishing school in New Orleans, didn't do too much for me clearly, uh, left, and ended up getting hired there. It's been a boring journey. I'm sure yours was more interesting, I mean the head of an outpost, that's pretty impressive."

 "Well-"

 "That or it was pure coincidence." Venable choked on her food.

 "Pardon." Venable was offended.

 "Just like the Gallants' -and Coco's assistant Mallory- I know all about her." You adjusted yourself in your chair into a power sitting position. "I'm sure it was pure coincidence that Coco's family were on vacation at the time of the apocalypse and not some external sources doing."

 "What are you in about?" Coco asked.

 "Nothing," you said innocently. 

 Did the Cooperative plan all of this or was this another one of your mind games? Venable thought.

 You messed with Emily's mind the first day you met the purples, talking about how you couldn't get all the information you needed via interview. When Venable thought about it, maybe you weren't joking. It made perfect sense- well no it didn't but nothing about you did. You were playing a game of good cop and bad cop. Michael, hellbent on the interview structure and always having his way while you weren’t so picky on how you got your information. You were most likely analysing everyone and feeding your findings back to the man, seeing if they were being honest. 

 Or were you more like an angel and a devil? You weren't so keen on following Langdon's rules and were hell-bent on studying up trouble for him, considering putting him to Venable.

 You played with fire, bringing up her unconventional means of landing her current job. What she didn't expect was for you to question the Gallants', Coco's and someone named Mallory- must have been grey. No one needed to know about her past which you knew an alarming amount about. She decided to approach you about your misbehaviour. If you were going hang around here, you were going to be treated for your crimes.

 You tried to walk to your haven when a cane blocked your path. You smirked to yourself. 

 "Wipe that smug look off your face this instant," Venable said. without having to see your face she knew your reaction. "How dare you question my authority?"

 "I didn't question your authority, you can boss me around any day, I only suggested you weren't as qualified as others." That was as bad if not worse, Venable thought. 

 "You think you can wreck my reputation without consequences," Venable snarled. 

 "So, I did strike a nerve? I thought you would be above this."

 "Shut up for once in your goddamn life."

 "What do you intend to do if I don't?" She didn't respond. "That's what I thought. You're just as bland as the rest of them. I should have-"

 "Fuck you."

 "Fuck you too-"

 "I answered your question. Into my office now!"

 You spun around and raised your eyebrow, "Wait- what?" This had to be a joke. Maybe you were still asleep.

 "You wanted me so badly earlier, was that all a game?"

 "Wait- you actually bite?" From her records you found have thought she was aro or ace or something. 

 "Oh, I can and so much more," she growled. It was off, an underlying level of uncomfortableness to it. Maybe you were right? Or- OH MY GOD- HAS SHE EVEN-

 “You’re bluffing,” you said calmly. “Right?” She wasn’t. “No.”

 “What?!” Venable was in disbelief. Were you telling her no? Really? After all you're forcing yourself out you reject your chance. “You had no problem galivanting about earlier. Is it my deformity?”

 “V, I don’t give a shit about your back as long as it doesn’t hurt you.”

 She hasn't caught on that you'd done a similar thing before with the wine. You would play your game and when you get her attention to say no, wanting something else instead. This time, you didn't want a physical thing like wine but for her to be comfortable, something you could tell she wasn't.

 “What about last night?”

 “What about it?”

 “You- aren’t you disgusted? By it? By me?” 

 “Did I give you that impression? I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to- I was...” Venable waited for whatever excuse you were coming up with. “I was having a problem with Michael- uh, I mean Mickey.” 

 “Would you…" She wasn't sure how to do this, "like to talk about it?”

 You looked around the hallway. “You’re office still available?” She nodded. You allowed her to lead, setting the pace of how fast you walked.

 Rested in the spare office chair in Venable’s office, you yanked your skirt up so you could sit cross-legged in your chair. You rubbed your hands rigorously together trying to warm them up. The fireplace was on the other side of the room. So long to being warm. You settled down when the redhead's attention was comfortably in her chair. She sighed, happy to relieve some of the pain of standing upright. You half-smiled, erasing the smile from your face when her attention is shifted to you. You decided against looking at her, raw emotions relating to your pain and suffering felt different to delivering a snide comment or even your bubbly normal self- as normal as your life has been the last thirty-odd years.

 “Are your having a falling out?”

 “Hmm~” you hummed. Your attention was transfixed on the fireplace. Your hand’s subconsciously rubbing your arm trying to create some heat. It was the first time in the outpost you’d worn something sleeveless. “He just gets on my nerves is all.” The light from the fireplace lit half of your face with its warm orange glow. The shadows enhanced your soft features on your sombre expression. 

 Venable couldn’t help but be transfixed by your beauty under the fireplace’s light. Curled up in her spare office chair, disheartened by the previous day’s events, your attention on to her. Unlike last night, she didn’t mind. She was witnessing a rare beauty, something she had yet to witness before. The chaotic energy of Ms L/N subdued. She knew somewhere in you there was a soft yet less dysfunctional human.

 “Have you ever been in love?” You asked. 

 Venable was taken aback by the question. It was out of nowhere. Unless- where you and Michael a thing? She didn’t think he was your type, or you his. She couldn’t have missed the signs. She would have noticed something like that by now. You barely spent your time together, only a few hours a night if that.

 “Can’t say I have.”

 “You aren’t missing out on much.” You turned further away from her. You were now sitting completely sideways in your chair, huddled up, your head leant up against the backing of the seat. Less of your face was visible. Venable wished you would face her. “It’s a vile feeling. It infects your mind so it’s the only thing you think about.” You continued to rub your hands together. “I thought I was in love once. I wasn’t myself.” Literally.

 “What happened?”

 “The same as everyone else. We had a falling out.” You breathed into your hands hoping your breath would warm you up. “Conflicting morals.”

 “Are you cold?” Venable asked. 

 “Nah, it’s fine.” you turned to look at her face. Her staple stone-cold expression replaced with concern, doe-eyed look. She was simply adorable. Thanks be to the devil that she couldn’t read minds, or you’d be dead.

 'Kill what it wants.’ Michael's words echoed in your mind, ‘Kill Venable.' You couldn't bear the thought of doing such a thing, but you weren't sure siding with Michael was the best. Yes, you were partner's in this whole orchestration of this plan, but did you have to join him in the first place? You had a good life, a girlfriend, a 'family' of sorts, it all seemed fine for years… but it was all a lie. You were living someone else's life- not literally, you were in your body. Your life was written, your experiences and interests weren't yours. You were rewritten. It could only be compared to whatever had happened to Mallory and Coco. You knew the supreme or whoever survived brainwashed them. Coco was never that insufferable. 

  “You can move closer to the fire.” Venable played with the raven skull topper of her cane, twirling it about absentmindedly. 

 “It’s fine.”

 Venable sighed. She didn’t realise you were going to be stubborn. Something compelled her to beckon you closer. The atmosphere for the room was peaceful, the only sounds were the crackling of the fire and your occasional sigh. From the moment you walked in the room smelt of your scent. It was truly intoxicating how everything was about you in that moment. She had everything but your attention. Your mind caught in a dream of the past and of someone who wasn’t her. 

 “Come here.” You looked at her confused. She repeated herself in a more commanding tone. Warily, you shuffled closer. Your fragrance got stronger the closer you got. Venable wondered how even though you were significantly taller than her, you managed to be cute. From the way you dressed, to the way you acted you had her captivated.

 Once by her side, she said, “Sit.” You sat down where you were. She meant on her lap, but this would do for now. “Shuffle closer.” You followed orders. She gently moved your head to lean against her outer thing. She brushed her hand through your hair, untangling some of the notes with her free hand. The other hand still playing with her cane. You went to speak but was hushed by Venable telling you to relax.

 “You're surprising good at this,” you thought aloud.

 “I know how to care for people, I’m not heartless.” Venable continued to run her hand through her hair, taking care not to tug it. “You should dress more appropriately. As much as I like your outfit, it’s not appropriate for winter. Where did you even get this outfit?”

 You shrugged, “Found it.” You moved your head. Venable was bemused by it. “That reminds me. I have a gift.” You leapt up and stuck out your hand. 

 “What is it?”

 “You’ll have to follow me to see.”

 She took your ice-cold hand and allowed you to guide her through the halls she ruled for months now. What could you show her that she hadn’t already seen? If it were a simple material gift, couldn’t you have brought it to her instead of the other way around?

 “I was the main person in charge of fulfilling all your odd requests,” you informed her. “I studied the layout knowing that one day I would have to come here.” You mentioned that the school belonged to an elite boys’ school as she already knew. You added the information she didn’t know. “The boys were all murdered back in 2018 allowing me plenty of time to mess around with the infrastructure. Knowing that I would have to visit this place, I designed a little getaway. I think you’ll like it, it’s the only room with functioning power.”

 Your words explained a few of her questions about you. The main one being how you knew so much about her and what she’s been doing here. You’d help orchestrate it. Unlike Michael who only found out about her rule-breaking here, you’d would have predicted it, only having your suspicions confirmed here.

 She was led to a bookcase in the library. The purples didn’t appreciate literature as much as Venable leaving the room vacant of people. “I knew the library was here, how is this room special?”

 “You’ve clearly never read the great works of… The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump (Unabridged)? What the fuck this?” You looked at the cover. You had expected some post-apocalyptic book there or hell even the holy bible would be funny, but this? “Oh, bless, it wasn’t written by him, I didn’t want him ruining poetry for me too.” You slid your hand where the book was feeling around for a button. Once found you pressed it, opening a secret door. You shoved the book back in its place before allowing the redhead to enter the room ahead of yourself.

 Venable stepped into the darkness, you kept close behind. Only when the door had been sealed had the light switched on.

 Light scattered across the room appearing like little shards of light on the walls and flooring. The chandelier spun slowly moving the light about like a disco ball. The floor was one for dancing in ballrooms. An expensive piano sat in the corner of the room. The room was laid out like an auditorium, a stage at the back with a massive pull-down projector screen. A door was wide open revealing a busted looking generator. You close the door saying, “I was working on that last night, I must have forgotten to close the door.”

 “Is this where you come at night?”

 “No. I’m usually here during the day when I can't sleep.”

 “How often is that?”

 “I haven't even showed you the best part yet.” You ignored her question, dashing to the door beside the generates room. “Open it.”

 Venable did. Instead the room was a desk with three monitors all pointing towards the desk chair. 

 “A computer?”

 “With full internet access.”

 “And that’s good because?”

 “No one’s monitoring it.” You said over her shoulder. “Everything about everything was done online, you can find anything about anyone on there, with no one to stop you.”

 “There would still be passwords-”

 “Oh, look beside the keyboard, a handy book on all the passwords you’d need to any government site. How did that get there?”

 “You want me to use that on Michael?”

 “I’m not telling you what to do. I’m merely giving you the equipment. You can watch cat videos for all I care. However, it may be good for blackmail or getting to know your residents, guests or workers. Again, it’s down to you.” You to stood in silence for a few seconds longer than you should have. You cleared your thought pulling away from the awkward silence. “I could hook up the power to your office if you would like- or bedroom. You can’t mention this room to anyone else, or out there. It’s our little secret. Only we know about its existence or how to get in here.”

 “Why are you showing me this?” Venable asked.

 “I don’t mind your company.” You giggled, “I thought I already established this.”

 You switched from a depressive state to a happy state in what seemed sudden. To be honest, Venable had taken her mind of you briefly to take in the place, she could have missed the build-up.

You lead her to the office chair, so she didn’t need to stand longer than needed. She quietly thanked you.

 You set up the computer for her. You propped yourself up against the arm of the chair, messing with some programs to change the language settings for her. Venable didn’t recognise the language on the monitor. It was nothing like she had ever seen, she would be surprised if it was even from earth. “There. Sorry about that, I should have prepped it for you before I brought you here, but I was way too excited to show you.”

 “It’s no problem Y/N. The fact that your showing me this at all, astounds me.” Your eyes light up at the mention of your first name. She remembered- and even chose to call you that.

 You chuckled. You went to move off the chair when two hands wrapped around your waist tugging you forward. You collapsed into Venable’s lap, “V?”

 “Yes, Y/N?”

 “What are you doing?”

 “If I recall correctly, you were cold earlier. I’m simply trying to warm you up.”

 “Isn’t that usually done naked?”

 Venable froze, “You’re straightforward, aren’t you?”

 “What?” Then it clicked. “Oh~ That’s not what I meant.” Venable didn’t believe you. “I wouldn’t refuse if you wanted to do that,” You said.

 “Maybe another time.” She used your own trick against you.

 “No, that’s no fair~” you whined, playfully hitting Venable.

 “You had your chance tonight.”

 “You’re torture.”

 “I know.”

The link first chapter to the prequel if you want it.

or

Link to next chapter

[gascon-en-exil]

Bottom Ten Three Houses Characters

I decided after a while that I couldn’t fulfill an anon request to do a top 10 list for the whole series, because it would overlap too much with ones I’ve already done - lord privilege is a thing that exists, and I’ve ranked those before - and because it’s really difficult to compare so many characters (~600 if we’re being thorough) across so many different games.  Instead I decided to go negative with it, although around 2/3rds of these ought to be totally uncontroversial at least in my corner of the fandom. Starting from the one I dislike least:

(Dis)honorable Mention: Anna, for putting in such a lackluster showing that she doesn’t deserve a spot on this list despite technically being in the playable cast. It’s not only the lack of supports, although that hurts, but also how obvious it is that the writers have no new material for her. Anna’s gimmick worked fined when she was an NPC and perhaps for the space of a single game as a playable character, and Fates originated the meta idea of making her paid DLC so you have to shell out real money to use her, but that’s the extent of her here too. As a unit she’s far from spectacular, and her paralogue isn’t even good for much but a ton of (mostly mediocre) drops and a tiny bit of context for that Pallardó guy from non-CF Chapter 13. Here’s a revolutionary idea: for the next original FE it might be good to have Anna back to being only a wacky dimension-hopping NPC shopkeeper.

#10 Constance - It pains me that she’s on this list, more than anyone else by far. I really wanted to like Constance, and at first glance she’s right up my alley as a haughty impoverished aristocrat coping awkwardly with her diminished status. I like the dark flier class she’s built around, and her default personality is an even louder pre-timeskip Ferdinand whom you know I love. However, it’s that “default personality” bit that sours me on her, because she’s got two of them. What could have been an interesting take on Constance’s struggles with identity and self-esteem in the wake of her family’s disgrace is presented in such an over-the-top comedic manner that it’s impossible to take her very seriously. It’s more reminiscent of FE13′s Noire than anything, and at least she has the excuse of a mother who performed dark magic experiments on her and fractured her psyche. Constance also supports Jeritza and yet somehow they do no more than lightly allude to their personality issues which is as much a missed opportunity as you can get with such a terrible character (see below), opting instead to try softening Jeritza with his fondness for roses. Lovely.

#9 Leonie - Fandom exaggerates her Jeralt fixation, although it does pop up at the worst times (see: her Byleth support right after his death). As I’m not very concerned with Byleth’s nonexistent feelings though this placement more comes down to general indifference. Leonie feels completely disconnected from the rest of the Deer, and although she’s a supposed reflection of the house’s more egalitarian bent there’s nothing connecting her to the politics or larger culture of the Alliance until you learn about her student loan debt. She really is best understood as a Jeralt fangirl first and foremost, which is why perhaps the most surprising thing about her is when reality comes knocking in her endings and it turns out she picked up her mentor’s vices as well. Jeralt himself would be even further down this list were he playable, but as he isn’t I’ll have to settle for side-eyeing all of his adoring fans. Which brings me to....

#8 Alois - Remember that dating sim Dream Daddy that people were talking about a few years ago? The one that willfully misunderstands what the term “daddy” means in gay male spaces to write fluffy dad joke-laden romances intended for a presumably not-gay audience? Alois is the spirit of that game personified as an FE character, which is not something I ever would have thought to know that I didn’t want. He’s got some funny lines here and there, but that’s the most you can say about him when otherwise he’s just passable midgame filler (of a unit type each house including the Wolves already has one of) standing in Jeralt’s imitation Greil shadow. I don’t even mind the platonic S support all that much because it’s still only Byleth, but it occurs to me that just about the only thing that would have made Alois memorable would be if his S support was romantic but he remained married to his wife. I can’t think of a time when this series has allowed the player to indulge in adultery, so even if it had been limited to an option for f!Byleth it would have been a fascinating option.

#7 Cyril - This isn’t about his devotion to Rhea, which is fully understandable given his circumstances. Nor is it about his performance as a unit which in my experience at least is actually rather good for a Donnel/Mozu-style villager archetype. No, what gets me is that he’s a self-righteous workaholic which makes for quite the grating personality trait. I understand that he finds meaning in his work and that he’s got some entertaining supports calling other characters to task for their terrible work ethics or ignorance of the lives of commoners (VW should have really dug more into his back-and-forth with Claude), but the lectures on not interrupting him or telling Byleth to get back to work are as tiresome as they are frequent. It’s petty I know, but one can only hope he grows out of it eventually. At least he doesn’t wear a pot on his head....

#6 Mercedes - Like Constance, she’s the type of character I wanted to like from the start. She’s pious pseudo-Catholic clergy, with a quirky thing with ghosts and some quiet lesbianism with her BFF that I can take or leave but that I know some people really enjoy (and also she’s bi-for-Byleth, but no one talks about that). Unfortunately as I touched on when talking about Marianne in my Top 10 characters list, Mercedes’s appealing points are sharply contrasted against her more annoying ones. The breathy voice acting I can mostly get used to, but her backstory is unnecessarily convoluted - three families and two flavors of evil adoptive father - and as is also true of Constance her association with Jeritza drags her down a fair bit. To this day I still have no idea what we’re meant to make of the Lamine siblings’ dynamic, but Mercedes’s eagerness to overlook her brother’s crimes and unrepentant bloodlust so she can coo over what a sweet boy he is deep down say some pretty odd things about her personal moral code. Maybe it was implied all along with the paranormal fascination that she’s not as orthodox as she appears to be, but the dissonance is real especially in CF where she gets a support line with Jeritza that tries to woobify him and affirms how much she loves him...and meanwhile in monastery exploration she’s wringing her hands over how much she hates the idea of fighting Faerghus and the church. There’s no through line here, and as justification for characters siding with Edelgard go this one is pretty flimsy.

#5 Gilbert - Similar to Cyril, I don’t dislike Gilbert for the reasons that most of the fandom does. Yes, he’s a crappy father, but as I’m pretty indifferent to Annette and to father-child bonding in general I can appreciate the fresh spin he places on the archetype of the devoted knight. In short, he’s a knight who wasn’t devoted and ran away from his duty, and his arc in AM is all about making up for his past failures both to his family and to his liege. This is an angle to knighthood FE doesn’t delve into often, and it makes him an explicit foil of Dedue as explored in their supports. The reason that Gilbert is on this list though in fact has more to do with that opposition, because I am painfully aware that had AM not killed off Dedue by default in service of self-insert romance Gilbert would not have had to be scripted as Dedue’s replacement both as a unit and as a retainer figure. It’s not his “fault” of course, insofar as one can ever blame fictional characters for the actions of their writers, but whenever I’m running AM and have to take those randomized supply run quests from Gilbert instead of the route’s actual retainer I’m reminded of how we were robbed of power couple Dimidue (in AM anyway - CF of all routes delivers on this point). Gilbert could have been father of the year to Annette and freely given Byleth his (grand)daddy dick and it still wouldn’t overwrite the fundamental problem that Byleth screwed over all three AM-exclusive characters in different ways. As to that, well...look at #1.

#4 Raphael - It’s hard to describe just how much wasted potential there is to this guy. Along with Ignatz and Leonie he could have illustrated the greater social mobility of the Alliance and the increased opportunities non-nobles enjoy there, but all three are mostly side characters. He’s repeatedly positive in the face of tragedy and remains motivated by his love for his remaining family, but 90% of his dialogue revolves around either eating or training to the point that he’s arguably the closest FE16 comes to gimmick character writing (something almost every FE is guilty of, but that has come under heavy scrutiny in recent years because of how much Awakening and Fates used it). He has a sweet friendship with Ignatz with even a bit of chemistry that sits in good company with the kind of simply affability he has with almost everyone he supports, but they have a no homo ending involving one of the game’s eternally offscreen characters. He supports Dimitri, but the bara content is thin on the ground and their line stands out as easily the least substantial of the house leaders’ cross-house supports. Even as a unit he’s lackluster, in the same repetitive category as Alois with nothing that makes him really stand out from the other axe-and-brawling guys. Highest HP growth in the game...whee. I’ve seen arguments that Raphael’s simplicity is the source of his charm, and while I can sort of see that he feels like he belongs in a game like the GBA or Tellius titles where characters have a much smaller amount of overall content to their name. In a game like Three Houses the sheer torrent of lines about food and training wear thin quickly.

#3 Bernadetta - see #8 here. To sum up, she’s annoying, her sex appeal falls flat with me and is frankly just kind of confusing, it bugs me that a significant portion of the Ferdibert fandom headcanons her as Hubert’s bestie when the man clearly does not do besties, and the most positive thing I can think to say about is that based on her habit of befriending known murderers among other things she might be a bit of a sociopath. That’s not very flattering, but at least it’s somewhat interesting. Oh yeah, and Edelgard setting her on fire at the Gronder rematch is good for a meme although I suppose that isn’t technically attributable to Bernadetta.

#2 Jeritza - Jeritza sucks. Everyone, apart from the small number of fans into Bylitza for some reason, is aware that he sucks. He’s a bloodthirsty serial killer we’re meant to like because he killed his father to protect his sister and also because he likes ice cream and kittens...and because he’s clearly mentally ill in some way and Edelgard is weaponizing his illness for her war which means all the murder is okay, I guess. Jeritza is like FE7 Karel if he was somewhat important to the plot and that instead of a redemption arc between games he got Karla and some other characters swearing that he’s really sweet deep down and also he can romance the male self-insert - yay. I love the line of thinking sometimes espoused in anti circles that M/M Bylitza is the only non-Problematic™ Byleth ship because he’s their only gay romantic S rank partner who’s not one of their students, a loli, or Rhea who is obviously the most evil character in the game. As I’ve mentioned above Jeritza also makes other characters he supports worse by association, although he’s not quite as bad in that regard as #1. Do I even need to bring up the painfully affected voice acting? It’s ironic that the vocal director for the English localization turns in unquestionably the worst performance among the named cast, and I have to assume he picked the role for himself solely because he sounds like an imposing Death Knight and not because his voice is at all suited to the troubled twunk underneath the armor. Just about the only thing that would have salvaged Jeritza for me would be if he and Hubert got to have an epic competition to determine once and for all which of them is more evil. Hubert would wipe the floor with this poser.

#1 Byleth - see here at the bottom. They fail as a self-insert, they fail to be a properly realized character even more than previous Avatars, they damage other characterizations and arcs all over the place, and Three Houses overall would have been vastly improved if they didn’t exist or at least weren’t the PoV character. In that previous post I listed just two reasons why I still prefer Byleth to Robin as an Avatar, one being that their significance to the plot is set up before the game even begins and the other being that their lack of a voice makes f!Byleth a less obtrusive presence when it came time for me to have her S rank all the guys to fill out the support log...not enough to where I could treat her as a self-insert, but any amount helps. I do however have to add a third small bit of praise for Byleth, in that they apparently drive antis up the wall for the most asinine of reasons which is always entertaining to witness. I recall when this game’s school setting was first revealed that everyone in the fandom nodded their heads and made the easy prediction that there would be teacher/student sex because that’s just how FE rolls, but somehow still there’s outrage over it. Even so, Byleth is horrible by every significant parameter, and it’s a shame we’ll only be able to imagine what FE16 would have been like had the developers not felt the need to write the whole thing around an Avatar.

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 13):

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

13:1 Lost and found - This is a very strong start of the season, might be one of the strongest intro episodes since the early seasons. Jack is actually instantly likeable, and apart from Dean shooting first and asking questions... kinda never, the boys do good. I also like the side characters, they make it clear that this could’ve been so much worse if some shitty people were first on the scene.

13:3 Patience - Loretta! Brought back from season 1 to die instantly. Oh wow. The SPN-way. But at least I dig the story. And Jody is here. And Sam is sweet to Jack. I’m fine.

13:4 The big empty - Cass is in the upsidedown. Jack goes hunting. Incidently, this discrepancy between the brothers is the kind I can get behind because it’s based on something real - a new family member, the loss of another, not some abstract drama where one of them lets their fear get the better of them and creates drama w/o even talking to the other. Spooky space entity in the big empty. Misha Collins, everyone! Nice. A kind shapeshifter. ”Even monsters can do good in this world.” Dean communicating sincerely. ”I need you to keep the faith, for both of us.” Cass - An angel so annoying that the big empty itself spat him back out.

13:5 Advanced Thanatology - honestly the brothers, loving them extra much this season, even when they argue. Hung-over Dean. Fun. Killing yourself for three minutes... Jeez, have you learned nothing ? No? Oh ok. It’s just a little death. And Sam’s reaction is more exhasperated than anything, it’s... funny. And then: ”I saw Cass kill you!” Yeah, like that matters. Also nice that the show finally ties up that whole how-do-people-die-w-no-death-thing.

13:6 Tombstone - STOP using ”but you died” as an excuse why people shouldn’t be back! Coming back from the dead isn’t just reserved for the Winchesters you know! Team free will 2.0. Nice! ”He’s an angry sleeper, like a bear” *spits out coffee* are you trying to kill me?! ”It’s good to have you back, Cass” to be constantly baffled by you. Jeez, the cringe! And the undertaker! Looking like a retro pinup crossed w Rosie the riveter! What a treat. Dean being a fanboy (and oh technically, couldn’t this obsession with cowboy-criminals count as a true crime -fad? No? Oh well.) Dean crawling through the ghoul-paths, referencing Die Hard. Good episode. Dean forgiving Jack. Sweet. Too bad Jack’s having none of it. They *have* raised a Winchester.

13:7 War of the worlds - a torture scene is the quickest way for me to start rooting for whoever is being tortured. Even Lucifer. Hey, and it’s also the quickest way to end up- if not on the fail list, then at least off the fave list. Oh, Ketch is back. Gun, mouth, now. Noooo, a twin! Shoot me twice. Fail list. Can’t be helped. Lucifer coming to Castiel’s rescue and burnin the brothers ”with their second-guessing and whining.” And Asmodeus showing up. Luci being sassy. Oh gods. Not an evil twin. I’m changing my mind, it stays on the fave list- what’s going? Oh I know: it’s an entire season of a soap crammed into one Supernatural episode. All the soap-tropes. It’s hysterical!

13:8 The scorpion and the frog - Dean insulting Smash’s excellent shoes. I rly don’t think you are in a position to criticize anyone’s wardrobe. Smash and Grab are funny. And the setting is too. And the brothers are really excellently cast in their roles in this heist: Sam as the awkward nerd and Dean as Mr TCB. Dean putting his hand into the bocca della verita! Sam: ”Dean! He’s immortal!” Dean: *knocks Shrike out*. Oh Dean. ”I just had an idea, but it’s a little crazy.” ”I’m good with crazy.” Crazy’s the only game in town. The Winchesters and the curveballs. Rolling Shrike in front of them. Brilliant! Good ending. But Sam! You know how to kill anything but you don’t know that you don’t blow on a burning piece of paper to put it out? .... *shrugs* that actually makes sense.

13:9 The bad place - instantly liking this artist. Crazy about the premise 3 minutes in. And very upset 5 minutes in. Poor Derek! The return of Patience, I’m equally pleased and distraught, stay away, girl! And Kaia! And Dean coming around to Jack. That’s sweet. Jeez, is that a helicopter shot. Hella pretty! Omg! Finally giant monster time! *chills* i have been waiting for this my whole life.

13:10 Wayward sisters - Holy hell. This season has been frickin awesome so far, and now I get all my babies together. Saving Sam and Dean. Finding Kaia. My heart is just full of rainbows.

13:12 Various and sundry villains - Oh no! I liked Dale. See here we are again, using actors from previous seasons: it’s the chick from Twihard and apparently she’s not random enough. Ugh . Oh! So this is a goofy!Dean episode! Those are usually welcome. The setup for this is very annoying though. Thank godess for Rowena! Bringing all the truths. I think I love her. Woah. Killing the girls like that. Harsh. Sam being soft and giving her the spell. I love him.

13:17 The thing - this episode makes me realise there’s not enough tentacles in Supernatural. Gabriel! Back with the boys! I’m so pleased.

13:18 Bring ’em back alive - Charlie! Gabriel! Lucifer! This is just a deeply satisfying episode. On multipel levels. I love the characters standing up for themselves, in different ways. Charlie’s simple line: ”that’s not your call” struck a cord; not everybody chooses to join your fight, some have their own and the right walk away from yours.

13:19 Funeralia - the right amount of silly according to Mr Mess and that counts for something around here. Sam showing genuine remorse at shooting Rowena and Rowena being genuinely upset that he would. I’m moved. And Rowena’s consession. The boys giving Rowena a pep talk! My heart!

Fail episodes in chronological order:

13:11 Breakdown - Donna is always a win, but dark and gritty? And monsters on the internet. Nah. Too much torture porn.

13:22 Exodus - have I mentioned that I don’t watch Supernatural for the post-apocalyptic scenarios? If I’m expected to deal with that type of grit I’m gonna need a whole lot more kissing.

13:13 Devil’s bargain - Ketch’s mere presence is enough to put this episode on the fail list. If he’s gonna be in this show the least he could do is to regrow that beard of his. Also the fact that Lucifer simply cannot chill. Gabriel is back but alas, doesn’t make up for the episode.

Honorable mentions:

Og and Magog are two hoots and a half.

The animators making the brothers equally tall in Scoobynatural. That’s adorable!

Camo-Samo in the final episodes.

Jack saying I love you to Sam in the final episode kinda killed me.

Mediocre mentions:

The rising son - Can tell pretty early that this is gonna bore me, and it does, but any scene with Jack and the boys is good. ”What would Mr Rogers do?” Good question. ”Dean feels like he has to protect everyone.”

Unfinished business - always here for Gabriel/Loki stuff, especially when it involves both Gabriel and Loki. But idk, vengence as a theme... not my favorite. Mary is sweet though.

Beat the devil - Rowena and Gabriel, I’m just so happy. But wtf were they thinking leaving Rowena w Lucifer. That pisses me off. Almost so that I can’t enjoy the reunion of Jack and Sam. Almost.

Summing up:

The shining star of this season is Jack.

It feels a bit like this is what I’ve been waiting for, for the boys to use what they know constructively and practically and personally: when they’ve met people in need of guidence before they’ve ditched them with someone they’ve deemed as more maternal but now they take Jack with them, which allows them both to be big brothers. That’s good.

[tingfeiart]

Unloved Tragedy - Chapter 5 - “Someone Like You”

Chapter 5 of Unloved Tragedy, a Peter Pan x Treasure Planet Fanfiction

Word Count: 2,707

Table of Contents

Sitting himself on the ground, Peter tensed up. His body was preparing itself to be bombarded by invisible knives that would penetrate through his fragile spirit. Blades of betrayal, unworthiness, and mediocrity threatened his state of mind, but the only way he could become stronger was to face the ugly truth.

"Jim is a naval officer," Wendy began. "He is from the planet Montressor. He decided to come to Earth to join the Royal Navy."

Peter could already feel himself growing bored as he fidgeted with Wendy's engagement ring on his own finger. He didn't care about Jim's fancy titles, because it would only make him seem more wonderful than he already was.

"He actually goes by Captain James Hawkins, but I like to call him Jim - "

"Jim is enough!" Peter cut her off. "How did you meet him?" He only wanted to know why Jim reminded her of Peter.

"Well, I fell from the window. That window." An image of what was once her nursery materialized, and she pointed to the same window that they flew out of when they went to Neverland.

"The window was open, and I was looking outside. I had your kiss in my hand." She held out the acorn that Peter had given to her when they exchanged gifts. It was the kiss that saved her, when Tink had ordered the Lost Boys to shoot down Wendy. Peter couldn't believe she still had it!

"Suddenly, there was a large gust of wind. I was startled, and it caused me to drop the kiss. Silly me, thought for a moment I could fly and get it, and that's how I fell... but then he caught me. Oh, how I could have died if he didn't see me!"

Peter lit up with confusion at this. How did he do such a heroic thing like that, when he couldn't fly? It didn't seem believable at all.

"He flew, Peter! On his marvelous solar surfer!" Outside Wendy's window, they could hear the sound of flames bursting, like a cannon. Peter leapt up and gazed outside. There was Jim, treading through the night sky on his surer. Wendy joined him at his side, leaning against the window pane. "Oh, Peter? Isn't it beautiful? I had never seen anything like it here. Jim is so clever; he had invented it when he was on Montressor!"

But Peter was not impressed by this. He couldn't help but snort to express his dismissal. Sure, Jim could say he flies, but a solar surfer or whatever wasn't as cool as flying solo.

"As he lifted me back up to my window, I suddenly remembered the joy of flying. I had long forgotten how to fly, and I so desperately wished to learn again. But Jim, he helped me find my wings again." The Jim they saw flying in the sky was then joined by Wendy, hugging his body tightly, and he drove the surfer.

But this still didn't make sense to Peter. Unimpressed, he crossed his arms. "So that's it? Just some guy who saves your life, and you're in love with him?"

Wendy giggled. "Oh Peter, that's only the beginning." She reached out and ruffled his hair. He wasn't very fond of the patting - it made him feel like a pet.

"Our first meeting was what created the spark of our friendship." The image of Jim and Wendy flying on his surfer disappeared, and instead, they could see a replay of the couple walking down the streets of London, hand in hand, projected against the night sky. "As I got to know him more, I realized he reminded me so much about you." Wendy turned to face Peter, her eyes twinkling. "I'll always remember you as the first object of my affection."

To this, Peter grew more interested, which prompted him to sit up straight.

"As you saw, Jim loves to fly," Wendy began. "It used to be a form of escape for him."

"Escape from what?"

"Everything that upset him. Everything that wore him down. His father left his mother one day when he was very young, and for many years he couldn't confront those feelings. So he flew, because that distanced himself from his trauma. He flew beautifully, didn't he?"

Peter's curiosity spiked, as he started to gradually see how the two boys were similar in Wendy's eyes. "Is that what I do? Am I trying to run away from something?" Is this really how Wendy saw him?

"You do, Peter. You're constantly running away from adulthood." Wendy placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "As long as you can fly, you can't be weighed down by the burdens of being an adult," Wendy answered.

Peter could not deny that Wendy was right. When he first learned how to fly, he always needed Tink's pixie dust to get him off the ground, and he always had to think happy thoughts. Over time, he didn't need her dust anymore. He just did it, and that's because he could distance himself far enough from all his troubles. It's been so long since he thought about what troubled him, that he couldn't even remember what it was.

"Well, if there is one thing that's different, he can't fly for real," Peter felt a need to point out. "If he was always running away from his problems, shouldn't he be able to fly without his solar... whatever it is?"

"Well, he had to ground himself, Peter," Wendy said. "He had to grow up, like all children must do. And he was so excited to."

Peter wanted to gag with disgust at this. Grow up? Excited about it? Who would ever say that! "Well that's definitely not like me at all! I never want to grow up! No wonder he can't fly on his own - he let himself grow up!"

Wendy noticed the wretchedness of his face and giggled. "You're right Peter, that's what makes you two so different. But that's also what I've grown to love about him."

Peter knitted his brows. Who could love someone for being so eager to grow up? It didn't make sense to him! He snorted so much air he caused his bangs to flutter. "Well he sounds pretty boring to me, Wendy. Anyone who wants to grow up is boring to me!"

"That's not what I meant, Peter," Wendy began. "It's more so, I fell in love with how he charted his own course. You see, Jim was so heartbroken from his father abandoning him, he needed to do whatever he could to fill his weakened heart with thrills and adventure. It got him into all sorts of trouble, he didn't want to picture his future." She began to twirl a necklace she hung around her neck, which Peter assumed was something Jim had gifted to her.

"I could see myself in Jim, too. I too didn't want to picture my future, being bred only to be someone's wife. And so I sought escape in you, and your stories." Wendy glanced up at Peter with shimmer in her bright blue eyes. Even though her voice, and the shape of her body had changed, her eyes stayed exactly the same. To Peter, he could still see the window into her spirit.

"I must admit, I grew very attracted to his air of rebellion. I always idolized myself as someone very rebellious, and his courage to do that... I suppose you could say it inspired me to realize my worth." Another memory from Wendy and Jim's past emerged. Wendy was wearing a white gown with a veil hanging from her head, and Jim was well dressed as the naval officer Wendy boasted him to be. "Mother and Father did not approve of the match," Wendy said. "But I insisted on marrying him when he proposed. I didn't want to lose something so wonderful I had found."

In the memory, Wendy and Jim joined together in their first kiss as husband and wife. Peter felt a twinge of jealousy pierce his heart as he watched this. He didn't want to have to see that.

"You know, Jim read an awful lot about pirates. Fantasized about them, even. One time he said, if a pirate had ever offered him a position in his ranks, he would have run away to commit piracy. A very boyish answer, wouldn't you say?"

Peter shrugged at this. "Uh sure, I suppose. I mean, if pirates would just let me do what I want, I wouldn't mind them so much! But why would he say no right now?"

"Well, Jim had to earn the realization that he wanted to do more than piracy. He went looking for some treasure, to help rebuild his mother's inn that was destroyed, but along the way he realized he did not care for the value or becoming rich. Once he knew how the preciousness of life was worth more than money, he was able to abandon the treasure, before it was too late."

Peter felt a click in his brain. He didn't know how he arrived at this, but he could wager a good guess. "So then... that's what you did? You came with me to Neverland because you didn't want to grow up. And then you started to forget your parents. And Hook, the mermaids. That's why you left Neverland? That's why you left me?"

Wendy had to pause before she nodded. "That's exactly right, Peter," she said. "I came to Neverland, fantasizing for this eternal life, with you in it." Her lips drooped to a frown as she stared down, turning away from Peter. "But Neverland is so dangerous. And I thought, why put myself in such danger and mayhem? Had I stayed, I may have turned into someone as coldhearted as the mermaids."

Hearing Wendy speak of Neverland as this horrible hell made his stomach churn. He never thought of it as such, but he understood that not everyone could see the fun in his games. Wendy was an adult now, and she probably saw all his antics as childish games.

"At the same time, Peter," Wendy continued. "I ended up finding I had exactly what I needed already. And that was my family. I couldn't bear the thought of forgetting them forever. I missed them terribly. That's how I knew, I had to leave before it was too late."

Peter nodded after Wendy finished. It was all starting to make sense to him now. Their worlds forever divided by separate devotion and morals, they would have never made a natural couple. Perhaps, Peter had known this before taking Wendy back to London, but he wouldn't have wanted to admit it at that time. "I think I understand now, Wendy. It is both your understanding for how precious it is for us to live. Going forward."

"That's right, Peter." Wendy turned back to Peter, reaching out and stroking his cheek. "I grew to love Jim for his spirit, but I grew to love him more because I saw him as someone I wanted to take on the rest of my life with, to be my life partner." She took her hand away and looked down. "I knew that's something you didn't want, and that's also why I had to leave you. But, I never ever forgot you, Peter. I hoped I'd find someone like you again, and my dream came true. I found that person in Jim."

Peter broke into a crooked smile. His eyes slowly began to fill with tears again. This time, they helped to expel all the sorrow he kept deep within his heart. His heart began to feel lighter, knowing that Wendy still loved him for his spirit. "I understand now, Wendy," he said tearfully. He held out his palm to Wendy, the diamond ring placed on top. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you want, but I hope you and Jim live happily ever after."

Wendy took the ring, and slid the band back onto her wedding finger. "You don't need to apologize, Peter. I understand perfectly why you couldn't. And if you could, you wouldn't truly be Peter Pan. You couldn't be the boy who taught me how important it is to always keep that child-like spirit." She took out another white handkerchief, and gently wiped away Peter's tears. "You're not a tragedy, Peter." She winked at him. "You're an epic."

The tears began to flow faster as Peter's smile grew a little wider. "Thanks, Wendy," he said tearfully. "Do people cry when they feel happy? Because, I feel a lot lighter now, freer." He took the handkerchief from her and blew into it. "Knowing that appreciate me, and never stopped believing in me after all these years. I was always afraid of being forgotten, unloved, but you didn't."

Wendy extended her arms out, inviting Peter into a hug. He immediately went in and embraced her tightly, burying his teary face into her now broader shoulder.

"I want to tell you something else, Peter." She let go of him once more. "It took a certain pirate to see in Jim a potential. A potential to do wonderful things. He's always been clever, brave, and kind-hearted, but all he needed was someone else to believe in him before he had the courage to see it. And once he did muster the courage to believe in himself, Jim was able to move forward. He didn't need to run away anymore. It was then he could truly start living, and find what he could do. And that's how he became the naval officer he is today."

Peter raised his brow at this, despite maintaining his smile of freedom. "Why're you telling me this, Wendy?" Peter asked.

She brought her face closer to his, her nose tickling against his. "Because I want to remind you, Peter, even if all the children in the world stopped believing you, there's always going to be one person who will. I'll always be here if you need me." She took both his hands into hers and gave them a tight squeeze. "And yes, I do believe in fairies."

The second she said those magic words, Peter involuntarily lifted up into the air. He gazed down at his feet that no longer stood on the surface. Tearfully, he laughed, and began to fly across the room with no direction in sight. "I can fly again! I can fly!"

And Wendy joined him in the laughter. She too began to show her own tears.

The rest of Wendy's window materialized, and the door opened itself on its own. From where he stood, Peter could see the second star to the right, beaming. It was inviting him to return. Facing Wendy once more, he took off his hat. "Madam," he said with a smile, bowing to her.

And Wendy returned the gesture with a curtsy.

Gripping tight onto his hat, Peter murmured those words again. "Goodbye, Wendy." He placed his hat back on his head, before floating to Wendy to plant a thimble on her cheek.

The image began to de-materialize as Peter made his exit from Wendy's dreams. Before him once more, Wendy was still sleeping heavily. He gave her hand one last squeeze, before turning on his heel for the window. He jet-setted from the Darling home for what would not be the final time, again. Until next time, Wendy.

Soaring as the free, untroubled bird he was, Peter also realized something that made his heart feel even lighter, allowing him to soar higher. He was never incomplete. Everything he needed, he already had. He just had to see it was right there all this time.

The same for Wendy.

[btspremiumtrash]

carving your love

⇓ Ship: Incubus!Hoseok x Vampire!Yoongi

⇓ Genre: Fluff, suggestions to smut, Creatures AU

⇓ Summary:  The mortals are throwing a party. A Halloween party. Where they dress up as creatures of the night. But why dress up like them when you can be them? That’s a question that the Bangtan Boys don’t need help answering since they themselves are those things that go bump in the night. But the question that has never dawned any of them was: What would happen if an incubus and vampire were to intermingle?

⇓ Word ct.: 5k

⇓ Warnings: None :)

⇓Prompt:  “I assumed we were both mediocre pumpkin carvers and made a bet saying my pumpkin would be better and you just turned yours around and I’m horrified because you didn’t tell me that you were going to kill it, especially since mine is just our initials and a heart.” (In collaboration with @sunshinebtss ❤)

Masterlist

“I’m not going,” Yoongi said in his famous (or infamous if you will) deadpanned tone to the older man, Seokjin, who was trying to convince him to join him and the rest of the gang to the Halloween party being thrown by the humans not too far away from their place. “We know how the last party went. Why would I waste my time with another incident happening like that again?”

It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. No one would dare throw a party in the most haunted mansion in Seoul. Except for the group of hormonal, ignorant teenagers who didn’t even think twice when persuaded by the shapeshifter Seokjin in hopes that they would fall for it. Thank goodness they were high off their asses when he offered them the deal. Otherwise, it would’ve been just like last year: a solid no.

The last time someone threw a party there, the werewolf Jeongguk took things a little too far. Although it wasn’t his fault for the full moon that just so happened to be on that night, it made his temper skyrocket, making it extremely easy to set off the man with even the slightest thing. Which is exactly what happened. A teenager dressed in a Big Bad Wolf costume called Jeongguk a fake werewolf and that comment ended his life. Ever since then, no one has come back in fear of the werewolf but also the ghost. Fortunately enough though, the only ghost that inhabits the mansion is Taehyung. The other guy was sent to hell for what he’s done during his time on Earth.

So with all this mind, Seokjin couldn’t bear the thought of Yoongi not coming back to the mansion. “Please Yoongi? Jeongguk will be on a tight leash I promise. Jimin can keep him in check or he can go to a spare room and watch anime while the party happens.”

Yoongi cocked an eyebrow as he looked up from his computer to see the pleading Seokjin beg for his appearance at the party. He was currently doing research for a liberal arts assignment for his online university that was due ironically enough on Halloween, AKA tonight. “Is Namjoon going?”

Ah, the man—or rather merman—that stole Seokjin’s heart at first sight. He would go to visit him in the ocean every chance he got, shifting into a merman himself to see him and all he had to offer. Of course, Seokjin never spoke to Namjoon about his true feelings for the merman. Why would he take the chance to ruin the beautiful friendship that he had with him? And so he kept his feelings at bay.

That comment made blood rush to his cheeks, which he shook off and responded, “Yes he is. But so is Hoseok. And you need to be the one who shows him the ropes.”

Yoongi groaned. Hoseok moved from Gwangju to Seoul not that long ago. Taehyung, being the Casper he was, invited him to the party. He thought it would be a great opportunity to meet other creatures like him and befriend them. “What even is that dude anyway?”

“An incubus. I’m assuming you know—”

“Yes, I know what an incubus is.” Yoongi stopped Seokjin from further explaining. The last time he asked Seokjin to explain something, he was met with the most vivid, haunt-inducing, descriptions that he refrained from ever asking Seokjin to ever describe anything for him. It was for anal sex. Something that before Yoongi was curious about until he asked Seokjin about it. Now he feared it more than dying a second time. “But why do I have to be the one that ‘shows him the ropes’?” He used his fingers as quotations marks to emphasize how stupid this situation was.

Seokjin scoffed. “Uh, I hate to be the one to break it to you buddy but you need to work on your social skills. If you didn’t know any of us in your past life then you probably wouldn’t have any friends.”

“Gee, thanks.” Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Why isn’t 5 a sufficient number?”

“Because I said so. Now get your ass up. We’re going to that party whether you like it or not.”

“Spoiler alert: I don’t,” the vampire said with sarcasm dripping in his voice.

Two could play at that game. With Seokjin grabbing Yoongi’s hand to lift him out of the seat, he matched Yoongi’s sarcasm to a T. “Spoiler alert: I don’t give a shit.”

--

Midnight came around pretty quickly. At least for Seokjin. Yoongi on the other hand, dreaded every second of shopping for a stupid costume with his companion. Seokjin got a matching set for him and Namjoon to wear to the party. Yoongi already had an outfit at home, but Seokjin persisted that he upgrade his wardrobe. And so Yoongi put a little effort in dressing up as himself essentially. Or as the human fantasy of a vampire. He got makeup to make his skin paler than the white walls of the mall they went to and black eyeliner to make his eyes stand out. He even got cute purple eye contacts even though his irises naturally turn red. He doesn’t know why mortals think they had purple eyes, but he didn’t have the capacity to ask or care. Maybe Seokjin was right about this whole “antisocial interactions” thing. To put the finishing touches on his look, he got the Dracula costume package. He had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes at how humans depict him.

Despite initially hating the idea of going out to get a new costume, he actually outdid himself. He enjoyed looking at himself through the specially designed mirror that allowed for his vampiric self to show. Seokjin helped him put some red streaks in his jet-black hair. Now he was fully a heartthrob vampire.

The pair walked over to the mansion that was only fifteen minutes away from their cottage in the woods. They didn’t live far from the cave Jeongguk and his 97-line gang slept and were a good walking distance from Namjoon’s ocean—Hence why Seokjin takes every chance he can to see his merman. Jimin and Taehyung lived in the mansion together so that Taehyung had someone to talk to.

“Huh,” Jimin greeted Yoongi at the door with his arms crossed in amazement that he would come. “So Seokjin really did the impossible.”

Yoongi fought the urge to say something smart to the younger demon. “Nice to see you too, Jimin.”

He smirked, enjoying being able to tease Yoongi like this. “How’d he do it?”

“By dragging him out of his self-loathing chair that he never leaves,” Seokjin answered. “Not even when he’s sleeping.”

Jimin giggled and moved out the way to let the two inside. Besides the very real cobwebs, the Halloween decorations were on point. From the plastic pumpkin baskets full of candy at the buffet table to the fog machines placed all around the house. Very spoopy indeed.

There was no mortals insight. Yoongi would’ve smelled them if there were. However, he did get the faint smell of wet dog—

“Yoongi!” He heard his name being called by Jeongguk from the top of the stairs. “You came!”

The vampire was getting irritated with both the demon and now the werewolf not believing he came to this event. “Is it really that big of a deal?”

He heard the echoey sound of Taehyung’s ghostly self lurking around him as he answered his question. “Uh, honestly, yeah. Didn’t think you’d show up, Dracula.”

“Fuck all of you.”

“You mean that?” Jimin asked.

Seokjin immediately shook his head. “Oh, I’d rather not. I’ve seen Yoongi naked too many times to count. Not a pretty sight.”

Yoongi cracked a wicked grin. “Somehow I think it’s for a different reason. A fishy reason.”

The shapeshifter elbowed Yoongi which made Yoongi bite back a laugh. “You aren’t funny.”

“Wasn’t trying to be.”

“Anyways,” Seokjin turned his attention to the very empty mansion. “Where are the humans? They should’ve been here like twenty minutes ago.”

“I think you meant ‘Where’s Namjoon? He should’ve been here like twenty minutes ago.’” Yoongi mumbled to which Seokjin smacked the back of his neck to silence him.

Jimin shrugged. “I don’t know, chief. Maybe when they were sober they realized the mistake they made and—”

Just before Jimin could come up with his grim conclusion, the doorbell rang. A couple of times before Jimin irritatingly rushed over to open it.

With their high off their minds expressions, one human dressed as a Minion greeted Jimin. “Heyyy dude. Is this where the Halloween party is?”

Jimin tried not to look visibly disgusted with the smell of marijuana oozing from their clothes. He couldn’t even believe he agreed to let these creatures into his home. At least last year the only thing the humans did was drink and that’s something Jimin could do all day if he wanted to. He mustered up an eye smile and welcomed the mortals into the haunted house. “Of course! Come on in so we can get this party started!”

Everyone rushed inside while Taehyung got the music going. Seokjin noticed Namjoon the second he stepped into the house. Jimin shook his head as Seokjin passed him to meet the merman and bring him inside, internally agreeing that Seokjin is indeed whipped as cream for Namjoon. Too bad the only people that don’t know they like each other are Seokjin and Namjoon.

That’s more than he could say for his situation though. Although this isn’t how he pictured his date with Jeongguk going, he was more than elated to watch over the young werewolf as he was kept away from society by entertaining himself with video games and anime.

As everyone had something to do or someone to talk to, Yoongi was alone at the kitchen bar, watching from afar. That was until an unfamiliar scent caught his attention. It was intoxicating. He turned his attention to where the smell was coming from and was greeted with what he assumed to be the new incubus in town. Jung Hoseok.

“Mind if I sit here?” His voice was a thing of beauty. He could listen to it all day if Satan would allow it. His features were everything to gawk about. Wearing a stylish police officer costume, it was like he was sculpted by the goddess Aphrodite herself. And that jawline? That could stab him in the heart and he would say thank you.

Yoongi realized that he was staring at him for probably too long so he stuttered over his words. “Uh yeah sure.” Hopefully, he didn’t catch it. That would be so embarrassing.

Wait a second. Since when was Min Yoongi embarrassed? Since the last time he was alive which was about 3,000 years ago. Nowadays it’s been more of secondhand embarrassment with his friends doing something stupid in public. But now? Now he felt… Dare he say he had butterflies in his stomach.

Hoseok took his seat next to the vampire. He could’ve sworn that his heart skipped a beat when he spoke to him. “You don’t wanna mingle with these lowly excuses for humans too huh?”

Despite the comment he made, he still found it funny and chuckled. “I’d rather not, no. Seeing them make a fool out of themselves is my entertainment for the night.”

Hoseok also laughed along with Yoongi. Taehyung watched from the sidelines. Unfortunately, Yoongi sensed the young ghost’s presence. Without looking in the direction of where Taehyung was hiding, he exclaimed his voice to where he could hear it but it wouldn’t draw attention from the humans. “You know, just because you’re called a creep doesn’t mean you have to act like one.”

Taehyung came out of the walls. He snapped his fingers and turned from a ghost to a human. He smiled that famous boxy smile and said, “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. Do you want any drinks? Jimin had me stock up. Although I can’t help but think it’s for himself for the aftermath of this party…”

“I’m good.”

“Hey, Taehyung!” Hoseok said with a smile as he greeted his first friend he made since he got to Seoul. “I think I’ll have a few shots if you don’t mind.”

Dammit. He probably sounds like that old sober grandpa that you hate sitting next to at family reunions and does nothing but talk your ear off about how this generation is going to shit.

Oh my god. I’m really overthinking it. What the fuck is wrong with me?

While Taehyung made the drinks, Hoseok was the one to keep the conversation between him and Yoongi going. “I’m assuming you’re a vampire, right?”

“Right.”

“Hmm...,” Hoseok studied Yoongi’s features closely and it took everything in Yoongi to not visibly blush with how close this man was to his face. He took a step backed and cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Then why the purple eyes?”

Yoongi took a pregnant pause to go over what he was going to say in his head. He didn’t want to sound stupid. Not yet anyway. “Humans.” Was his simple answer.

“They’re all wasted anyway, I bet you could just take those off and no one would even bat an eye. Eh, but either way you look nice uhh...”

He realized he never told him his name. “Y-Yoongi. Min Yoongi.” He hated the way his voice audibly stuttered.

Hoseok extended his hand for Yoongi to shake. “Jung Hoseok. But I’m pretty sure Taehyung told you that already.”

“Yeah.” Yoongi held onto Hoseok’s hand for probably a tad longer than what the average time length is spent on shaking one’s hand. Regardless, Hoseok either didn’t mind or didn’t notice. And so he kept them there until he broke it off. “I’m actually supposed to be showing you around Seoul.”

“I’ve done my own walk around the neighborhood,” Hoseok joked. “Although, I wouldn’t mind doing it again if you were my tour guide.”

Oh, I can be more than just a tour guide. Just say the words and I’m all yours.

Wait what the fuck?

Stop thinking like that!

As Taehyung placed the drinks on the island bar for Yoongi and Hoseok, the three turned their attention to Seokjin as he got ahold of a microphone. Those two combinations usually never end well. Tonight was no exception for that combination either.

“Attention humans and creatures of the night,” he exclaimed. “We’re about to have a pumpkin carving contest! Whoever is the winner gets the house!”

At hearing this, Taehyung, now visibly reddened with anger, turned back into a ghost and zoomed as fast as he could above the humans’ head to Seokjin. Once he made it he snapped his fingers to turn back into his fleshy self. He pulled Seokjin away from Namjoon and to the kitchen bar. There he went off on the shapeshifter and the decision he made to basically sell his house free of charge. “Are you fucking crazy, Seokjin? This is my house! Not yours! I don’t see you giving away your little cottage to those strangers!”

“Calm down, Taehyu—”

“Calm down? Calm down?!” Taehyung growled as he pushed Seokjin with all his might. “I don’t know about you but Jeongguk’s pack is really mean to me so I can’t go live with them. I can’t breathe underwater so Namjoon’s place is definitely out. Yoongi would honestly kick me out the second I move in. I won’t have any place to go. What about Jimin—”

Before Taehyung could finish his ranting, Seokjin went over to rest his hands on his shoulders. “Relax, Taehyung. I know how much this place means to you.”

“Do you?” Yoongi questioned with just a hint of sarcasm which earned him a delightful giggle from Hoseok.

He didn’t acknowledge the vampire directly, but he did continue with his explanation. “I very much do. Which is why the contestants that are playing are us. Me, Joonie, Hoseok, and Yoongi. The judges are you, Jimin, and Jeongguk. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

Taehyung pouted. He crossed arms and looked down. “Yeah... But you should’ve told me beforehand...”

“Well, that was before I found out there was an entire pumpkin garden outside in the back of the mansion.”

“Wait. For real?”

“Do you—Do you go outside your own place?”

The ghost looked anywhere but in the direction of Seokjin. He mumbled, “No.”

Seokjin shook his head. “Maybe those witches like you after all.”

Taehyung’s face turned into one of utter disgust. “Ugh! Don’t ever bring them up again. I hate those bitches with a passion.”

While Seokjin was laughing (Taehyung was definitely not), Hoseok leaned to Yoongi to whisper, “Who are the witches?”

Yoongi whispered back without stuttering this time. Improvement is key. “Aptly titled ‘The Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse’. Kim Jisoo, Kim Jennie, Park Chaeyoung, and Lalisa Manoban. They’re the ones that killed Taehyung all those years ago. They gave him a potion that gave him irresistibility since he was going on a date with his girlfriend, Amber. Unfortunately, that potion was actually cyanide. So when the Devil offered him the proposition of making Taehyung into an immortal ghost to haunt the witches, he took the offer. Although he’s been slacking on the haunting part a little. He couldn’t scare anyone even if he tried. He’s too friendly.”

The vampire thought he was speaking too much. If he wasn’t tripping over his own words, he was going off on a tangent. But Hoseok didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Hoseok would love nothing more than to hear the little Dracula in a very different setting...

Hoseok had to suppress his naughty thoughts as they would awaken his own irresistibility powers. It’s been a struggle as he hasn’t had any luck as of recently. His recent partners were all weak humans with little to no power for Hoseok’s inner sexual demon to feed on. Meaning that his demon was all for taking his lovely vampire to his house. But the little humanity Hoseok had left wanted to honestly win him over without using his incubus powers.

If only he knew how well it was working.

They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, getting lost in each other’s eyes. It wasn’t until Seokjin snapped his fingers in front of them to avert their attention from one another to Seokjin’s waiting stance. Arms crossed, tapping his feet impatiently. “If you two lovebirds are done with the cringe lovey-dovey ogling, we have a pumpkin carving contest to win.”

They both blushed, but Yoongi’s was more noticeable with his paler-than-average skin tone due to the makeup. Hoseok wanted to comment on it and call him cute. But he, along with Yoongi, was swept away from their seats to the cleared out buffet table that was replaced with four pumpkins equally spread apart and carving utensils.

Jimin and Jeongguk were brought downstairs by Namjoon. Jimin hated that their “date” was cut short while Jeongguk was thrilled to be invited to join the party albeit to judge a pumpkin carving contest. Taehyung situated himself in between the duo. They all sat at another table directly in front of the buffet table. The humans all sat on opposite ends of the tables, waiting for the battle to begin.

Hoseok once again leaned down to whisper to Yoongi, “Bet I can beat your pumpkin carving.”

Yoongi scoffed, “Challenge accepted.”

“Alright,” Jimin started.

“On your mark,” Jeongguk continued.

“Get set,” Taehyung added.

“Go!” The trio said at the same time. Telepathy had its perks.

The creatures went to work on their pumpkins. Humans left and right was screaming out who was gonna win. So far the majority of the crowd shouted that the sexy part-time police officer full-time incubus was gonna win. Although that was probably because he was emitting some of his lascivious powers to attract the crowd to help him win. He wasn’t trying to. But he’s so goddamn hungry that it’s getting harder to suppress his demonic urges.

Then again, it wasn’t to show off. He could care less if he were to win with or without having an unfair advantage. It was to impress Yoongi. Maybe winning the contest would also earn him at least one night with this vampire. That’s all he wants. But his heart wants more than just one night. It needs the rest of their immortal lives.

“Five-minute warning!” Jimin shouted above the very loud crowd of annoying humans. Oh, how he was going to enjoy having drink upon drink when this is all over.

Yoongi was already done with his creation. It didn’t take long to decide what he was going to carve. His otherwise cold heart actually felt warm for once. It skipped beats. It felt like he was alive again. Like he had a reason for living. And it was all because of the incubus standing right beside him. He couldn’t help passing a goofy grin to Hoseok. Hoseok could feel Yoongi staring at him, and as much as he would love to return the favor, he had a vampire’s heart (and also contest but that came second) to win.

Five minutes passed like a blur. It felt more like five seconds for Hoseok. Fortunately, he did manage to finish his carving just in time.

“Judging time~” Taehyung sang happily. It was almost as if he was all for this idea although he was the main one throwing a fit about it fifteen minutes ago. “Each of you has to explain what you carved. Once everyone is done we’ll tally up the votes and announce the winner. Cool?”

The contestants all nodded and Jeongguk spoke. “Alright. Joonie first.”

The audience went silent as the merman explained his carving. The amount of detail a man can carve into a pumpkin was telling. “So I drew inspiration from the wonderful sea and all it has to offer. From the different fishies I carved here”—he pointed to each tiny fish as he spoke—“to the seaweed and then of course in the middle is my sandcastle that me and my family live and rule the sea.” He gave a dimpled smile to signify that he was done with his explanation. Everyone was in awe as they clapped their hands during Namjoon’s gentlemanly bow.

Next was Hoseok. He took a deep breath, careful to say the right words to win this contest. He had to get Yoongi out of his mind which was nearly impossible. But somehow he was able to do the impossible. “Okay so, I carved my home, Gwangju. It’s a trail that I used to walk on. The path was so beautiful, especially during spring. The cherry blossoms in full bloom and petals falling down into the lake. I would sit down on this red bench just to clear my mind.”

Now while his words depicted what he had in mind, his carving clearly didn’t support what he was saying the slightest. It was as if a kindergartner was given a knife, told it was a crayon, and to color the pumpkin. But the audience didn’t care. No one cared. Welcome to seducing your victims taught by your local incubus, Jung Hoseok. They still cheered him on.

Oddly enough, his powers didn’t work on the immortal creatures, especially Yoongi who couldn’t hold back the pure laughter that escaped his system as the crowd really bought that half-assed job.

After Yoongi finished laughing (AKA Seokjin kicked his knee to shut him up), Seokjin explained his masterpiece, if you could call it that. “What you see in front of you is a beautifully designed man. He is godly and should be treated as such. I call this ‘Worldwide Handsome’.”

With every contestant, it seemed like Yoongi’s chances of winning were slim. Except for Seokjin and maybe Hoseok if he turned his powers off.

While the art of seduction worked for Hoseok, it didn’t work for Seokjin. Instead, it earned him mockery from everyone excluded Namjoon who comforted him while everyone laughed at his own ego.

“Oh my god, Seokjin!” Taehyung laughed uncontrollably. “You couldn’t even bother carving Namjoon’s face?! It just had to be yours?!”

Seokjin was flushed. His ego had never been more damaged than now.  

Amongst the chaos, Hoseok asked Yoongi what he carved into his pumpkin.

Yoongi complied and turned his pumpkin to Hoseok, giving him his explanation. “I assumed we were both mediocre pumpkin carvers and made a bet saying my pumpkin would be better and you just turned yours around and I’m horrified because you didn’t tell me that you were going to kill it, especially since mine is just our initials and a heart.”

“I—”

Yoongi blushed visibly. He attempted to put away his pumpkin “I-I’m sorry. I just—”

“No, no.” Hoseok stopped Yoongi from putting his pumpkin away by covering his hands in his own. “It’s beautiful. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

I didn’t know I could feel until you came into my life.

He kept that part to himself. But he did smile as he felt the warmth of Hoseok’s hands over his own. He loved that feeling and would love nothing more than to have that every day for the rest of eternity.

“I think I love you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok returned the smile back to him. “I know I love you, Yoongi.”

Jimin cleared his throat audibly so as to gain the attention of the pair who haven’t been able to pay anyone else attention than themselves. It did do the job as they unlocked hands and gave their undivided attention to the demon.

Jimin looked down at Yoongi’s pumpkin, then Yoongi, then the pumpkin again. Then he shot the vampire with a telepathic thought. Do you want yours to be included?

Yoongi shrugged but then shook his head. It was made for him. I could care less about the contest. Just make Seokjin the winner if you don’t mind. I really don’t wanna hear how pissed he was that everyone laughed at him tonight.

Jimin raised a haughty eyebrow. So you aren’t going back with the incubus? Odd.

Shut it, Park.

Did I press a button?

He rolled his eyes as Jimin went over to Hoseok’s pumpkin to give it one more look over. It took everything in him to not crack a smirk. He really did fuck that pumpkin’s shit up entirely. Satan curse this child.

“Aaand the winner is,” Taehyung began.

Jeongguk shouted with a smile as bright as the sun and as cute as a bunny, “Kim Seokjin!”

While the crowd was shouting that Hoseok or Namjoon should’ve won, Seokjin took it as an opportunity to tell them to suck it. “I won idiots! Get over it losers!” He blew raspberries at his haters. He could have their heads served on a platter but they didn’t deserve such a swift death.

Namjoon congratulated his destined counterpart with a bearhug. “My family is throwing a party tonight. It’d be great if you could make it. That way I have a familiar face that isn’t my family around. Plus you always manage to make it interesting.”

Seokjin blushed. “O-oh… Okay then. I’d like that.”

Namjoon flashed him a smile and Seokjin returned the gesture. “Glad to hear it.”

Jimin nudged Seokjin’s arm suggestively. “Looks like you got yourself a date huh? I’m proud of you.”

“Don’t push it.”

“You are no fun at all, you know that?” Jimin pouted. “Learn to lighten up.”

“Learn to follow your own advice,” Seokjin said, nodding his head over to Jeongguk. “There’s literally nothing that could go wrong.”

“Uhh, you’re absolutely wrong about that chief. Literally, everything could go wrong. What if I say the wrong thing. Or mayhaps—”

“Thanks for watching over me today,” Jeongguk said to Jimin. He snuck his way over to the two while they were blabbering on. With a hand scratching at the back of his neck, he continued. “I know I can be a handful. But you play games better than I do. I admire that… Anyways, the gang is out tonight for feasting and that means I have no one to play games—”

“I’ll play with you.”

Kinky.

Get the fuck out of my head, Seokjin.

Jeongguk was taken aback by the sudden response. He didn’t know he already knew what he was going to say without him even getting the full thought out. Regardless, he smirked. “Cool. Ready to go now?”

Jimin turned to his ghostly best friend. “You’ll watch over the house while I’m out?”

“You got it!” Taehyung smiled. “By the way, did you know we have a pumpkin garden in the backyard?”

Jimin was confused at hearing this. But then it all came together. He enclosed his face with his hand as he shook his head in disappointment. “The witches must’ve put them there. Hopefully, they aren’t—”

And just before he could finish, humans left and right started dying. They had bitten off the delectably poisonous pumpkins from the contest and they paid with their lives. Hopefully, Jimin’ll see most of them in hell. Satan knows they deserve it.

“Poisonous. Goddammit. Now I have to clean the house and these disgusting bodies. Can this night get any worse?”

Jeongguk was about to say something, but Jimin silenced him before he could. “Don’t answer that. Just—take me away from here before I honestly blow a fucking gasket.”

“You got it.” Jeongguk swept Jimin off his feet and placed him on his back, transforming from human to werewolf and taking off with his super-speed back to his cave.

“We should be heading too don’t you think?” Seokjin persuaded. Namjoon nodded and they left Taehyung alone to at least try to clean up the mess.

And what of our happily in love incubus and vampire duo?

Well, as the ruckus was going on inside the mansion, Hoseok and Yoongi took their business elsewhere outside the mansion. To the pumpkin garden in fact. They sat down on a bench and kissed the night away with their hands ever intertwined.

Thank goodness they didn’t eat the pumpkins. That would’ve been two more bodies for Taehyung to not clean up.

[buckysforeverprincess]

What Do You Want From Me? Ch 5

Lance Tucker X Reader

Words: 1409

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex

A/N: This is all told from Lance’s inner thoughts. Enjoy!

I looked at my clock and saw it was 7:30 in the morning. There's a body lying next to me and I'm not sure why she's still there. Why hasn't Y/N come in yet to wake me and get rid of this chick? Oh yeah that's right, she left me. Just like she did after the mind-blowing sex we had in my fucking kitchen! Now she fucking hates me because I'm the biggest shit bag in the world and couldn't handle seeing her act like nothing happened between us.

I poke at the woman next to me, “Hey! Hey!”

The blonde starts to stir, “what time is it?” Sleep fills her voice.

“Time to get the fuck out…why are you here?”

She looks at me like that's the dumbest question one could ask. “Because we fucked?”

I couldn't help rolling my eyes at her. Must have an IQ of 20. Y/N was right, I do have a type.  

“Hey…get up and get out!” I say with more force this time.

“I don't have a car!” She's trying to put her clothes back on from the night before.

“Not my fucking problem. Walk or call an Uber, I don’t care but get the fuck out of my house!”

“You're a piece of shit!” The blonde says, putting on her shoes.

“Remember that when you replay last night's events in your head. You had a piece of shits dick in your mouth. That'll be a great conversation starter!” I start to laugh, and the blonde glares at me as she leaves my room and exists my house.  

I get dressed and head to the kitchen. Normally Y/N would be here, shake ready, pills and juice waiting, and we’d banter back and forth about the woman doing the walk of shame. Not today. Today I'm alone dealing with the repercussions of my stupid fucking mouth and lack of thought process.

My thoughts kept drifting back to Y/N. Her smile, her laugh, the way she never really takes my shit, her witty responses, her body, the way she felt when I entered her. “Fuck!!” I yell at the sink. Why the fuck are my thoughts drifting back to the sex we had right here in the kitchen? Why do I keep thinking about her, period?

That's why I went out last night, trying to rid my brain of our one-time encounter, and brought home the nameless blonde. The blow job wasn't spectacular, and the sex mediocre at best, but it still wasn't enough to shut down my brain. My head keeps wandering to Y/N.  

I moved to the island and stared at the barstool. The exact same one I placed her on and fucked into, until our orgasms took both of us over the edge. I've never wanted anyone like that before. Sure, I want women…I'm Lance Tucker. Sex was encoded into my DNA, but the way I wanted Y/N, it was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before and probably never will again. Fuck! I pull myself out of those thoughts. Maybe it's time to get new barstools.

I grab a bottle of water and head into the living room. According to my schedule, I’ve got a day off and nothing planned. Days like this the two of us would sit on my couch and play Gears of War or Call of Duty on the Xbox One. I'm so super competitive and it irritates Y/N to no end when I always get more kills than her, but we've always managed to make something out of nothing, and game time is always so much fun.

“What in the ever-loving fuck?!” I throw my water bottle at the poor couch and walk to the bedroom. But before I step in, I suddenly realize something. There isn't one room in this house that Y/N hasn't touched, or there isn't a memory of the two of us. Even the garage holds one from the day she threw a cold bucket of water in my face. I gave chase, only to catch her in the garage, throw her over my shoulder, and spank her ass until she begged for mercy.  

The memory makes me smile, but the sad truth is she hates me, and was now considering leaving me to find a new PA. The words I said, I could never take back. I don't even know why I said any of them. Obviously, I wasn't thinking. Clearly… I never do!

I walk into the bedroom and sit on the edge of my bed. I'll have to find someone to replace her, but how was that even possible. Y/N, who kicks out my nightly conquests, it's Y/N that makes my protein shakes taste phenomenal. Y/N knows the proper brand of pills, bottled water, body soap and shampoo that makes my hair feel extra soft. She knows my favorite take out restaurant and how to order my food without the nasty sauce and soy beans. My suits are always dry cleaned and ready to go, and let's not even think about my schedule! Looking over it yesterday gave me a migraine, and I’m still not sure if I've recovered.  

But how the hell does she do it every single day without fail? She takes care of so much in my life and barely complains, and never takes a day off. And here I am, never saying please or thank you. Never telling her or showing any kind of appreciation. She just does it, because she’s fucking amazing! That's just who she is.

Jesus, I now realize I've taken her for granted. Always just thought she'd be there, but now she's had enough. She'll never stay. God! Why the fuck did l cross that line?  

Why did I cross that line? I mean…she is beautiful. Always thought so. Her smile can light up a room, and her personality is the perfect counter to my brashness. That cute skirt she was wearing with the short sleeve pink top, perfectly hugged her breasts, and I just wanted to caress and squeeze the shit out of them. Her legs were amazing, and when she walked, just the right amount of thigh was exposed, and I wanted to kiss a trail from there up to her panty line. The way she yelled at me turned me on so goddamn much that I needed to fuck the hell out of her and make her mine.

No! Fuck no! There's no possible way! I've never wanted this! I despise this! A different woman every night is how I avoid this! No way ever in my entire life am I, Lance Tucker, supposed to catch feelings!

That's the only thing that explains how I can't stop thinking about her. The sex with last night’s blonde did nothing to satisfy my want. Thinking about it…no one I’ve slept with in the past three years has ever been enough to quench my thirst. Is it because Y/N walked into my life and I’ve been secretly harboring feelings? Were all those women just a replacement for the one I really want and desire? Is it possible I could change my womanizing ways and call her mine?

Wait? Do I fucking love her? Is that why I was so angry she left? I thought we'd talk about what happened, but she was gone when I came back, leaving her bra and panties like a parting gift.  

And in my anger, I go out and find some random chick at a club and bring her back into my home. The same home I had just had the best sex I've ever had, with the woman I'm pretty sure I'm in love with! “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

I've need to get her back! I can't lose her before I've had a chance to be with her, but where the fuck do I start? She said not to contact her. I can’t piss her off any more than I already have.  

Think, Lance. Think. Ok. I'll have to wait for her to come to me. But first things first.  

I take out my cell phone and start sifting through my contacts. To get the girl, I'll need to let her know I'm for real about her. They'll be no need for any more of these women’s numbers in my phone.  

This is the start of the new Lance Tucker! I'll do what’s necessary to get here with me where she belongs!

[kettlewrites]

bad boy!han (jisung) [negative utopia!au]

thank you to the anon who requested this! [totally inspired by nosedive from black mirror]

warning: min. profanity! (no proofreading) [2.9k words]

also,, it’s a bad boy who is not really a “BAD” boy au

jisung has always been viewed as a “bad” boy, it was never his intention but in a world that is based on “stupid” star ratings and fake interactions,, he had no choice but to be viewed as an outcast.

after dropping below a 3.0 rating from protesting these views he held

he was disowned by his own family, but luckily was picked up by a few guys around his own age and have been with them ever since.

and now it’s been three years since chan and changbin offered a place in their run down cabin to jisung,, all of them not accepted by the world of fake smiles and friendships.

throughout the years, the three of them went along in their lives to discover the true meaning of life that was hidden by the government,, finding that there was more to the world than a swipe of 5 stars

jisung had the lowest score out of them,, still running around with that 1.4 rating above his head that created on-lookers who were complete strangers to continue to drop his level down

and this is where you come around

you were from a family of high 4.0s,, you being a 4.7 who had never gone below a 4.5 in years

you had always been used to the artificial interactions you come across in your everyday life,, whether it was given something on the house for an easy 5 star rating or someone who complimented you with their full pearly whites, smiling so hard and wide that their botox was seeping out of their pores,, you became numb to it and would respond back with the same disingenuous smile before swiping your thumb to the five star option

it was your everyday,, and almost everyone else’s in the small bubble you associated with so you never felt odd or out of place with your routine

it was something that you could expect a mlle away,, probably even in your sleep

“good morning, y/n.” jennifer says with a giant smile, “would you like a croissant? they gave me an extra one by accident.”

you smile back, although on the inside you were frowning in disgust, “no thank you.”

‘a little try-hard aren’t you? just for a five star, yuck.’ you mentally groaned as you slid through her timeline, full of pictures of her dogs

you couldn’t lie, you had a soft spot for cute puppers which raised her score to a mediocre 3 star rating

funny how she was acting all nice then immediately curses you out once you left the elevator as she saw her level ding down a few decimals

you walked out of the apartment complex, mindlessly scrolling through the timeline that was projected on your phone not paying attention to the world around you

that was when you bumped into him,, your eyes widened as you laid eyes on the blond boy who had a flashing 1.4 at the side of his face

“s-sorry.” he mumbles, “i should’ve paid attention to where i was going.”

you furrow your brows, pondering how someone like him was able to get such a low score

“the 1.4? yes, it’s low. no, i’m not on double-damage. yes, i’m perfectly fine at where it is.” it was as if he had read your mind

you smile, almost genuinely the feeling quite odd to you, “i hadn’t even said anything yet.”

his smile was radiating, sending a pang into your chest, even if it was just a small half smile it was one of the brightest smiles you have seen in a long time

his hand was on the back of his neck as he laughs off your statement, “i just know that look. i’ve gotten them almost every day for the past three years.”

he was intriguing, everything about him sparked your curiosity, from the way he felt so genuine to the story he held behind that flashing score

“what’s.. your name?” you ask, putting your phone aside, your heart wanting to interact with him face-to-face rather than letting you find out his every detail by yourself from your phone

“do you not want to look yourself?” he asks, that same half smile on his face, “a 4.7 actually wanting to have a conversation with me?”

you shrug, cocking your head sideways, “there’s just something about you.” ‘that makes me want to learn more and more.’

“the name is jisung.” now your chest was twisting when he smiled widely, it had looked the same as every smile you’ve seen but how did his make you feel so differently?

the way his eyes curled into crescent moons and his nose crinkled. the way his smile felt so warm and at home unlike all the other ones you’ve seen that were cold and distant.

“jisung.” the way the name rolled around your mouth made you giddy and warm, “i like it.”

his laugh was hearty, bouncing off of his chest and the way he threw his head back as he laughed made you want to laugh but you didn’t know how to sound as genuine as he did

you subconsciously heard that awful sound of his level dinging down every minute he spent standing outside with you as yours was ringing up causing you to scrunch your face in uneasiness

“it’s okay, i’m used to it.” jisung mumbles, nothing about his tone was sad or disappointed

you looked around at the people around you, how they were looking at you and jisung differently although you both were doing the exact same thing

the only difference was his low score and your high one

“i should probably get going, i wouldn’t want you to ding down.” his smile was still radiating, how was he able to be so positive in a world that treated him so poorly?

“i’d love to see you again one day!” it was one of your automated goodbyes, but this time saying it felt so authentic to you

“you can always find me with that phone of yours.” he says before waving goodbye

‘phone of yours? what could be possible mean by that?’

it had been a few days since your encounter with jisung

he was wrapped around your everyday thoughts, something always leading you back to your short conversation that you held with him

you were sitting at the breakfast bar in your family home, mindlessly scrolling through jisung’s feed for the tenth time in hopes that he would give an update

you were hesitant to send him a message, scared that he would ignore you

your father places a hand on your shoulder, giving you a startle

you instantly shut off your phone and turn to look at him, that fake smile wrapped itself onto your lips once again

“i talked to your reputelligent therapist.” he started, taking a seat beside you on the empty stool, “he showed me your conversation with that 1.4 kid.”

you gulped down, now feeling extremely nervous which was also a new feeling

“i don’t like that kid.” he says outright not hesitating anything he says, “you know what means, I shouldn’t have to hear about him again the next time i talk to your therapist.”

“therapist.” you scoff, “a fucking therapist? you call him a therapist? dad, he looks at how i swipe my finger i’m pretty sure that’s not a therapist!”

you anger was boiling, you’ve never been so upset at anyone like this before

“do not speak to me in that tone.” ironic as his was just as harsh and cold as yours was, but what was the point when everyone spoke that way towards each other in this house.

“then don’t judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case a person by their number.” you snap, before hopping down from the stool and heading to your room

as you were almost at the end of the hallway you heard that disgusting down-voting sound that you heard when you were with jisung

you look down to see that your father had given you a single star rating which caused you to,, loosen all of your held up aggression

“you would do that to your own child?” you were screaming at this point, your face was red and your knuckles became white as you gripped your phone tightly, “all of this is just a game to you isn’t it?”

he huffed, furrowing his brows and crossed his arms across his chest to close himself away from your attacks, “you deserved it.”

“even the conversations you have with your own children have to be rated? do you even know a life where you don’t rate every interaction?” your tone was bitter, but you were speaking from your mind

something you hadn’t done in years

“stop it now, y/n.” he insisted. 

“all this life is to you is holding that stupid 4.8.” you pointed at the flashing number beside his face, “i guess genuine isn’t in your vocabulary anymore.”

and with that, you walked past him towards the front door, another down-vote sound ring from your phone,, you don’t even bother to turn around since you felt his eyes boring through the back of your head,, all you did was raise your arm to flip the bird at him.

the outside world felt different to you,, trying to distract yourself from the flashing numbers beside everyone’s face

you had that urge to rip out your eye-implant that allowed you to see it

the bubble in your throat was threatening to become into a sob, the overwhelming feeling rushing through your body after releasing all your pent up anger

you felt a ring coming from your phone, it wasn’t a rating this time but a text

‘two one star ratings? ouch.’ you read the message summary from your notification screen, the name sending your mind into a whirl

jisung

‘you’ve been watching my score? you don’t seem the type.’

‘and you’ve been watching my feed so you don’t seem like that type either.’

‘touché. we should talk.’

‘i can meet you by the old library?’

jisung had ran the library after you agreed,, his heart was racing and some of his strand of hair stuck to his sweaty forehead

you were sitting at the front of the building, looking at the scenery around you instead of putting your nose into your phone

“what was it,, being rude to a cashier or being too loud in the back of a taxi or was it both?” he was already smiling, not bothering to greet you with the usual hi, hello, how are yous

you chuckle, "you won’t believe me if i told you.”

“try me, i’ve gotten a one star for almost everything you could possibly think of.” he sat beside you, leaving inches between the two of you

“defending you.” your voice was soft, but you turn to look at him.

his eyes widened and the confusion was written all over his face

“defending me? you’re kidding right?” his tone had changed, his smile faded into a thin straight line.

“i was right. i knew you wouldn’t believe me.” you laughed again, it was more of a in-your-face-i-told-you-so laugh

the feeling between the two of you changed,, it was tense and the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife

“why would you ever defend me? you don’t even know me.” he sounded rather upset and it struck you in the wrong way,, why would he be upset for you helping him?

“jisung,, just because i don’t know you well doesn’t mean i shouldn’t stand up for you from people who judge you just for your number.” your eyebrows furrow in frustration,, you didn’t have the words to express your emotions

“who was it?”

“my,, dad.” you hesitated to answer, you were still trying to process the argument you had with him earlier

“are you a fucking idiot?” his tone was harsh, just like the one you had heard come from your father. his body language went through the same process, closing himself away from you.

“excuse me?” you asked,, taken aback by his reponse

“are you stupid? why would anyone in their right mind defend a 1.4 especially you,, a person with a 4.5.” you could tell his stance was getting more serious, he had turned into someone you’ve never seen before

granted,, you’ve only seen him once and stalked his feed but more so you’ve never expected such a happy-go-lucky guy be so serious and upset

“so what you’re saying is that i should have let him bad-mouth you?”

he shrugged, “what’s new? it’s not like i don’t go through it everyday anyways. one more person doing it wouldn’t hurt me.”

“jisung,, just because people do it all the time does not mean it’s okay!”

“i don’t want you the end up like me!” he finally screams, “as happy as i am with where i am in life,, i don’t want you to end up being mistreated like i have. you’ve been so sheltered with your score... there’s so many things people do to you just because of the number of your score.”

it took him a minute to calm down,, and he leaned against the wall of the building before looking at you again

“i was disowned by my family after protesting against the reforms..i see them in town and they won’t even blink an eye in my direction. everywhere i walk in town i get cursed at or tossed around,, i’m seen as a bad guy and i really don’t want that to happen to you.”

“but you’re happy.” you acknowledged, “you’re happier now than i would ever be if i stayed in my home and i want that happiness in my life jisung. i’m so tired of all of the artificial interactions.. of all the fake smiles and the fake friendships.”

your eyes began to water, “even if means that i have to give up my family and my privileges of having a high score to be happy,, i would do it.”

jisung looked at you, watching the tears stream down your face. his heart twisted in his chest,, looking at you reminded him of himself three years ago

“you’re not a bad guy.” you whisper, still choking on the sob you were trying to keep in, “everyone in this town doesn’t even know what a real interaction is anymore and it’s sad.”

“you really want to leave everything behind.. for me?”

that’s what made you laugh,, you knew he was teasing you as well from his emphasis on ‘for me’

“shut up.” you laugh, his teasing helping you feel better, “i’d give everything up if that meant i could be happy and if you happen to make me happy in the long run then yeah for you as well idiot.”

so,, you never ended up reconciling with your father. you avoided him when you had gone home that day after meeting with jisung.

jisung had told you to give a thought for a bit before jumping into a big decision over fresh anger

but you,, knew it was the best decision you could make as once you got home,, your brother and mother were both ignoring you already as if they all made a silent agreement to not see you as family anymore

that night you packed a bag and jumped out of your window,, not even bothering to leave a letter goodbye

you messaged jisung about your actions as you were walking back to the empty library with a duffle on your side,, he was already there when you arrived

jisung had convinced chan and changbin to make room for you,, as you really didn’t have anywhere else to go. they decided to use your score to their advantage until it went down in return for housing.

you didn’t object to it,, jisung and you were assigned to go around running errands and that’s when your score started to spiral down to match jisung’s

word had spread quick that you left your family

after a year of being free,, you couldn’t ask for anything different. you were happy.

now whenever you looked back to your first encounter with jisung,, it all made sense of how and why he was so happy.

“so you did do it for me.” he teases, holding your hand as you both walked downtown to the grocery store

“not really for you when we weren’t even dating when i left everything.” you joke back, wrapping your arm around his still holding into his hand

“that’s only because you wouldn’t admit you liked me until six months ago!”

“as if! you’re the one who couldn’t ask me out until changbin told me you were trying to so I asked you!”

“but you wouldn’t change it for the world right?”

“hey that’s my line.”

and he was right, you definitely wouldn’t change it for the world.