#the fact that i have seen multiple people argue with me instead of understand my point and tell me its not that big a deal

[andreal831]

TVDU and forced parenthood

I don't know if it is because Julie Plec didn't understand parenthood or just didn't care, but almost every character has a messed up relationship with the idea of parenthood.

Starting with Rebekah, whose entire identity becomes about being a mother. When she is first introduced, she behaves like an immature teenager with almost no maternal instincts or desires. But it quickly shifts in TO to focus on her desire to have a child. I am completely fine with a woman wanting to have children, but she never gave a real reason to want it. Just this general idea that she had always desired it. I get she likely would have been thinking about it when she was human since, during their human period, women tended to have children in their teen years and it was what all women did. But throughout her 1,000 years, we never see her seek that relationship with anyone. She briefly develops a protective relationship with April and then Davina, but they are easily pushed aside. She even abandons her relationship with Hope multiple times. It never seemed to me that she wanted to be a parent, rather wanted a baby.

This is even more obvious by the fact that Klaus 'adopts' Marcel. Rebekah could have adopted a child, or taken in someone throughout her long life. Now, it could have been that she feared Klaus would be angry and jealous, but this story is never shown. In fact, Klaus seems fine with Rebekah training Marcel, even after he was jealous of Elijah teaching him.

Speaking of Marcel, this whole storyline was problematic. The Mikaelsons take in this boy and then make him feel indebted to them. I've seen people argue that they didn't adopt Marcel, but rather took him in as a ward. Either way you look at it, Marcel was a child and deserved to be treated like one and not some trophy (a lot of white saviorism happening). I do think Elijah wanted to raise Marcel as a son but Klaus wouldn't let him. So instead, Klaus raises him as a friend which created a complicated relationship. I also hate how you can clearly see the difference in how Hope is protected versus how Marcel was raised. Whether it's sexist or racist or just based on him not being their biological family, it's problematic.

And then there is Hope. Hayley will always be my favorite parent in TVDU. Even when she was young and overwhelmed, you could tell her thoughts and actions were all about protecting Hope. Yes, some things she did weren't the smartest plan, but she was also a scared 20-something-year-old trying to survive against enemies that were 1000x her age. She risked her life repeatedly for her daughter and would sacrifice anything for Hope to be safe and happy. She was the one character I felt truly understood what it meant to be a parent.

I always get in trouble when I criticize Klaus as a parent, but he was a narcissistic parent for 90% of the show and that honestly needs its own post.

It's not surprising the Mikaelsons don't know how to be parents. Mikael wanted to train them to be warriors and Esther had a similar feel to Rebekah, that she wanted babies but didn't know how to be a mother. I know Esther and Mikael likely had their own childhood traumas, but that's another conversation.

I liked that Kol and Davina never discussed children. Davina was young and Kol never expressed desires to be a father. Not everyone needs to want to have children. To me, Elijah was the only Mikaelson sibling who expressed a deeper interest in being a parent. Yet, he still didn't understand the full extent. He essentially acted like a parent to his siblings but ended up just having messed up relationships with each of them. He wanted to step in with Marcel and even Hope. I like to think he learned his lesson from Marcel and fought harder for Hope, but again, the whole family just fought harder for Hope.

I also think Freya having a child makes sense, but Vincent being the father had me baffled. He hated Elijah for what he did to Davina until Elijah died, but forgave Freya for her role? Not only forgave her but decided to help continue the Mikaelson line. I just find it hard to believe that he would have agreed to help. But Julie wanted to expand the Mikaelsons and then do nothing with it I guess.

Even in TVD, this idea that everyone wants to be a parent is pushed. Again, yes some people do, but not everyone needs to want children.

I understood Jo, Alaric, and even Stefan's desire to have children. This need to protect and care for others was built into them. We see Alaric (before his character sucked) basically adopt Elena and Jeremy. Jo was always protective of her siblings and loved caring for others so much she became a doctor. Stefan just always had this paternal need to take care of others in my opinion. I even see this with Elena and Bonnie. (Also the fact that Bonnie's future is never mentioned -- we hear about everyone else but what was Bonnie up to in Legacies??)

But Caroline and Damon having children made no sense to me. Caroline had dreams of a career and seemed adventurous, but then was forced into pregnancy at what 23 years old while she was still in school? Yes, we see she gets to become a journalist, but in Legacies we don't hear anything about her life or career. She isn't even there as a mother. Caroline's character basically disappears.

Damon never expressed a desire for children that I can remember. He enjoyed his vampire life and I can't see him giving it up to be a mortal, stay-at-home dad.

There are a lot of problems with the show, Friends, but one thing I've always loved is how they show the different pathways to parenthood. Pheobe is a surrogate for her brother, Monica adopts, and Rachel is a single mother. There isn't one way to be a parent, as long as you always put the children's safety and happiness first.

TVDU could have learned a thing about it. For a show that loved to randomly have a found family trope, it was also ready to throw it out the window the second biological family showed up. That's not how found families work, they are family through and through.

Also, and I cannot say this enough, not everyone needs to want to have children. Even women.

[utilitycaster]

I listened to the WBN Fireside on my way to work and there were two things Brennan said, one of which stood out to me as something I really agree with and one of which I really disagree with so I figured I'd make this post (the disagreement one) first and then the agreement one.

The latest episode of WBN had a scene that the characters were not present for nor viewing in any way. It was recorded without their knowledge, though they did listen to it when the episode came out, and on the Fireside Brennan said that such scenes should be used quite sparingly, given the nature of actual play, but (and I apologize, I haven't relistened and the transcripts aren't out) because the antagonists aren't present where the PCs are, it's useful at times to have a scene to keep them in the narrative for the audience.

I firmly disagree. I think that while it's true that actual play has a limited POV (if the characters don't see it, you don't see it), I have, in a lot of actual play fandom, never once seen a situation when it added to the story. Granted, WBN is ongoing, so I may eat my words here, but I am doubtful for a number of reasons.

Speaking as one small fraction of the audience, I am in possession of narrative object permanence. I do not in fact assume that when the PCs are in one part of the world, the rest of it grinds to a halt. In fact, something that skilled GMs do (including, frankly, Brennan himself most of the time) is quietly advance the plans of people who are offscreen. This is also not abnormal for the genre. Lord of the Rings has multiple POVs at different times, but never that of an antagonist; we learn of this through rumors, espionage, and Gandalf's retellings. Sprawling epics like A Song of Ice and Fire or the Stormlight Archives or the Wheel of Time make use of a wide range of third person limited viewpoints as well, not all aligned, but we don't see every move by every faction (and frankly, as a fan of that kind of book...I still think most of them could leave a bit more on the cutting room floor). Limited third person POV is not a weakness of Actual Play; I'd argue it is both a strength and a requirement. The story is driven by the player characters, and they cannot act on something they do not see.*

I'd also add that in this very specific situation, the audience saw the subject of the cutscene, The Man in Black, literally three episodes ago, which was a day ago in-game. He was brought up extensively in the discussion two episodes ago. If someone forgot? That's on them. We have not gone months and months without him making an appearance. I do think it's possible for villains to be poorly developed because they do not cross the paths of the characters enough (this is, as many of the people reading this likely know, a blog that loves to dunk on the cardboard-like nature of Otohan Thull's virtually nonexistent personality and motivations) but The Man in Black is sufficiently a banger of an antagonist as to not be so easily forgotten.

Finally, and this might just be me, but because I know how Actual Play and D&D work, I must admit the second I realized this was a no-PC cut scene I found it pretty hard to pay attention. In fact, it did the opposite of what was intended. Instead of eagerly awaiting news of how The Man in Black was waging war, filtered through whatever information Suvi, Eursulon, and Ame could obtain, I was zoning out while he talked. I think part of why I like Actual Play is that it usually leaves me, even with 4 hour episodes, wanting more. Cut scenes leave me wishing the cut scene hadn't happened.

*brief tangent: this doesn't, in my opinion, apply to the scenes in Downfall that the viewer sees but which weren't captured in the Occultus Thalamus. The story of Downfall is ultimately a story about the gods - they are the PCs - and the dramatic irony enhances the story-within-a-story aspect. It's important to the audience understanding of the gods to see the whole thing, and it's a valid choice that Bells Hells only see what occurred while the avatars were physically in Aeor. It does, however, apply to contemporaneous happenings in Worlds Beyond Number.

**This also doesn't apply to long DM monologues in the presence of players. The C3 solstice scene has been compared to a cut scene, but actually it's important that Bells Hells sees it. If one of the Wizard, Witch, or Wild One had managed to find a way to, even at a low level, scry or similarly learn of the Man in Black's doings? I wouldn't have minded it. I adore the Hakea vision scene. It's specifically that I'm in fact here to see what the characters see.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Schnee's video "The Deeper Meaning of Loser Baby" is by far the BEST Hazbin Hotel analysis I've ever seen. Literally. Perfectly pointed, edited and EXTREMELY empathetic. Like. For real. It clearly shows how media literate and sympathetic the author is. He analysed Angel's behaviour, his trauma, how realistic it is, how well written Angel and his whole arc is, analysed why and how Husk was able to help Angel when Charlie wasn't... omg, it's so much better than any anti bullshit trying to explain why "Angel is a bad victim actually, hypersexual and unperfect? Nhaaa you're unvalid actually yeah sorry" to validate their own hate boner against Viv. Seriously, what a fucking perfect video. I recommend anyone of watching it, even haters, so they can see how blind and ignorant they truly are.

Thanks for sharing!

I did really like how non-judgmental Schnee's video was. I do occasionally watch videos made by Hazbin haters - because I want to give the other side a fair hearing, and expose myself to different views so I'm not just in an echo chamber - and one of the things I'm struck by is how many of them drift away from talking about the cartoon to pass judgement on the fans. "I don't understand how anyone can like these characters!" "Y'all have been gaslit into thinking this is good writing!" "Everyone has such bad takes, as evidenced by this single comment that only one person said which I'm now going to rant about!" That sort of thing.

Schnee's video was different. It didn't poke fun at the fans of the cartoon (probably because it was made by a fan). It instead kept its focus on the story - what Angel goes through, and how impactful that is, and how Angel's arc fits into the wider themes of Hazbin Hotel. And the whole thing was really well-scripted and well-edited.

Another thing I liked about Schnee's video was the fact that it wasn't laser-focused on Angel's character flaws, which it seems a lot of anti-Angel videos are. They focus too much on how he was harassing Husk in the earlier episodes, and don't acknowledge the fact that he changed and stopped doing that in the later episodes.

I even saw one video that was criticising the Huskerdust ship saying, "Be mad at me for saying this all you want, but I'm sorry, does Angel even really deserve Husk at this point?" When I heard that, my jaw dropped. What do you mean, Angel doesn't deserve Husk? Yes, he has a bad coping mechanism that hurts others, but does that really make him totally unworthy of love? Can he not be loved as he is and then helped to change?

And what does that say about Husk? That quote makes it sound like Husk is better than Angel and that Angel would drag him down, like Husk is some perfect precious uwu smol bean who needs to be protected from the big bad spider demon. My fellow human being, Husk is a former Overlord. He owned souls and gambled with them and didn't care until his own power was threatened. But I don't see anyone arguing that Husk doesn't deserve Angel because of that!

Why is Angel getting all this ire? Why is he the launcher of a thousand discourse posts and not, I don't know, Valentino, his abuser? That very same video also mentioned Staticmoth, and all it said about that ship was, "I just don't feel comfortable shipping a sex abuser with someone" - and that was it! Valentino has done so much worse than Angel, but he was quickly dismissed in that one comment, whereas Angel got three minutes in this video (plus multiple other videos by the same person) trashing him in an angry tone of voice with F-bombs aplenty! It's disproportionate!

(deep breath)

Wow, that was a doozy of a tangent!

That's the trouble with watching videos by Hazbin haters: you run the risk of hearing something that boils your blood. So it's really refreshing to find videos that aren't just criticising Angel endlessly, but treat his story with the respect such topics deserve.

I feel that not enough people recognise Angel's positive traits either. Such as his willingness to assist people even if they've hurt him in the past. Or his bravery in standing up for others. Angel's got a good heart deep down! It just takes a bit of work to help him show it.

[iniziare]

what is your definition of canon-strict? it seems pretty — well — strict, and i personally have a bit of a hard time wrapping my head around the term specifically because it seems hard to freely make headcanons or explore things outside of canon. would you say canon-strict is on a spectrum of canon-compliance? what are your thoughts on that term, and what's the degree of differentiation you need to consider a muse divergent?

(this is not meant to be a dig or interrogation but a sincere handful of questions, as i'd like to understand you and how to approach you better! i've seen some people argue that any interpretation that touches upon things not addressed in canon is divergent, but then again they're from fandoms where canon material is remarkably barebones for a majority of characters, and even officially licensed manga/shows vary incredibly widely — leading to multiple "canons" or verses with a lot of interpretative freedom. i'd like to know your definition of canon-divergence, and if it ever bothers you when other muns are canon-divergent.)

Hi anon! I'm aware that I'm answering this quite late and I apologize for it, but I wanted to sit on it for a while because every time I've tried to answer, I end up rambling, and I don't really think that's useful! So let me try this one more time, and see how I fare (spoiler alert: I, to no one's surprise whatsoever, did not keep it short).

To me, canon strict means having a very strong adherence to a character's personality, and lore as they're depicted in their original source material. With the term I genuinely, and literally mean 'strictly following canon'. Anything I do has to make sense within the boundaries of my muse's canon material. You should kind of see it as a writing challenge to myself to try and see how much I can expand on a muse's life and experiences within the constraints of canon before I run into a big 'ole brick wall. You see, I used to write characters where I enjoyed the concept of going beyond canon's bounds over and over, do my AUs, and my rewrites of what we were given, and I very much enjoyed that, but then I wanted to do the exact opposite, and I've found very thorough enjoyment in the challenge for years now, so I've kind of... stuck with it. I don't really know how else to explain it to you other than to say that when canon is written as nicely as it is in the fandoms that I'm in, that I want to avoid changing any of it because why should I? I have no need to do so when I enjoy it just as it is. Essentially, any meta that I write should be more so be seen analyses of canon in some way instead of headcanons, but if I do use the latter term, they're there to fill gaps rather than touch or alter existing facts. And any details that I speculate on are rooted within canon logic. My 'non-canonical' dynamics (or ships) work similarly, while the vast majority are technically non-canon, I still choose them based on what actually clicks for the character, rather than potentially let myself be directed in any which direction by what I'd like to see for them. Does that make sense?

Essentially, everything I do has to make sense within the muse's own canon, and they should not change, or influence anything fundamental. Everything pretty much stays within the bounds of plausibility for the character, and I don't reshape them in any way as to accommodate that which isn't in their own canon. It’s in that where I feel like the difference lies with something more akin to 'canon-compliance'— so when you mention a spectrum, let's say it's a scale from 1-10, I could imagine that canon-strict is on the extreme outer end at 10, standing in direct opposite to the full canon-divergence/AU variant sitting at 1, while canon-compliance could sit anywhere in between those two, though I would reckon it's anywhere between 5-9 for many portrayals I've seen.

Now to finish this off with, I don't have any issues with people who claim their portrayals to be canon-divergent, but I could clash a little with them in terms of plotting if they're very liberal with their divergences. And if they go against what is presented within my muse's canon, then I'm less likely to say yes to an idea, though I will generally try to see if I can reach some sort of a middle ground with them. But in all fairness, I very clearly 'advertise' myself as canon-strict everywhere that I can (and I remind people of the extra important things on each muse page), so I assume people generally know what to expect from me and my portrayals, and then can quickly discern whether I'm the right fit for them and what they're looking for. Because while I'm strict in this and may sound firm, I do try to be as transparent as I can be so that people don't run into threads, only to be surprised six months down the line, I don't want to disappoint people in the end after all! I hope that this was at least a little helpful, anon! And I apologize once more for the very late response. Thank you for asking. <3

[tixdixl]

Hello, thank you for providing me with such honest and helpful feedback on my post about why I thought the Hunter was a villain. I created this series because I was confused about the Light Magic Trio. However, I haven't even seen the movie or played the game, so thank you very much for your criticism.

Hi there!!! Happy to see you engaging in media analysis, even if it's just with the information you do have. Trying to work with the knowledge you have and trying to draw potential conclusions based on the source material is a great exercise in literary analysis and critical thinking! And for what its worth, I think thats incredibly important and I'm delighted to see you doing so.

I will say, however, that it's incredibly important to familiarize yourself with the media and to even draw citations when possible directly from the source. Not only will this help deepen your understanding, but allow for your conclusions to be far stronger and allow for us, your audience, to understand your line of thought! That way, if you do disagree with a take, or if you do draw a very strong conclusion, you have the explanation to accompany it! And i think this is especially crucial when dealing with a media like Twisted Wonderland, where it is drawing upon multiple sources in order to create its story. And with that in mind, I DO genuinely hope that you'll continue to engage with the discussion, adjust your argument as new information is presented to you, and that you continue to evolve your thinking. Because honestly, thats where most of the fun comes from, and its so important to continue to learn and practice problem-solving in that way.

That said, I would like to offer you a potential adjustment to your framework and see if it helps you sort out your confusion regarding the Light Trio. This of course comes with the caveat that 1) this is merely a suggestion and you dont have to take it - in fact if you do disagree with it and you have in-game cited reasons for it? Thats awesome!! I'd love to hear it!! I love to see how people interpret things different based on evidence in the media!!! And 2) I encourage you to take this suggestion and research the source materials on your own, while drawing your own conclusions. Maybe you'll find my framework doesn't work, and that in it of itself is a wonderful exercise in critical thinking.

For the sake of time and space, I'm going to drop my suggestion under the cut.

I would like to suggest to you that the characters with Light Magic arent strictly defined by Hero or Villian, but rather Protagonistic or Antagonistic force.

If we take Kalim for example, he is speculated to be twisted from the Sultan- a character who is often manipulated and forced to do things against his will in order to assist the Villain- Jafar. By your framework, we might argue that the Sultan is a villain. But if we actually examine the story as presented in the Disney film? That doesn't quite feel right, does it? And that's because the Sultan actually wants to HELP Jasmine and Aladdin. He strives on his own to help our protagonists. By this logic, he may not be a hero- as he doesn't save the day, but he's not a villain either. He is merely a protagonistic force- a character who benefits the main characters. (We could go on a whole essay about this and diving deeper, but to respect your time and encourage you to do some digging on your own, I will summarize there.)

When we compare the Sultan to Kalim, and how Kalim acts in Book 4, we see an incredibly distinctive similarity in how Kalim acts and is treated. He on his own is certainly not the Villain without the influence of Jamil, but he doesnt exactly save the day either. He wants to help Yuu in every way he can. But he simply... can't. He's no hero either. Instead, we can view Kalim as a protagonistic force, one who wants to see the best outcome for everyone. He is, after all, Light.

We can also examine Silver by this same framework. We don't actually know of he is twisted from solely Aurora, solely Phillip, or a mix both, but let's use the framework to talk about Aurora- because we have strong evidence to support that Aurora is one of his inspirations. Aurora, by our understanding of a "Hero", isn't a hero either. She barely has any screen time in Sleeping Beauty, and she spends most of that time asleep. But we know that she's the princess. She can't possibly be a villain- that's Maleficient's job, right? But if we work from the perspective of antagonist vs protagonist, we fit snuggly into place. She is arguably THE protagonist of Sleeping Beauty.

Silver is a bit complicated, and I won't go into detail about the plot of Book 7 as it still unfolds, but we can largely deduce that he is one of the main protagonistic forces in the entire book.

And last, but certainly not least, we have Rook. Rook who largely as you said cannot really fall into place as a Hero. But he's not really a villain either- and the same is said of the Huntsman. What we can see from Rook though is his attempts to help the protagonists by stopping the murder attempt on Niege's life. By nature of his behavior in Book 5, Book 6, and Book 7, we see him continuously being a protagonistic force.

"But Seris," I hear you say - rhetorically of course - "this is a villain school. RSA is the hero school! By that logic, shouldn't the hero/villain dichotomy suffice????"

And to that I present to you my supporting counter-point. Che'Nya from RSA. We understand by the logic of Hero vs Villain that Che'Nya, despite going to the Hero School, doesn't fit into either category either. And furthermore, what evidence we do have of his magical capabilities does NOT support the idea that he can use Light Magic despite going to RSA. And my argument to that point is this: He's an antagonistic force. We see Che'Nya in book one REPEATEDLY picking on Riddle, and influencing him to go against his mother's demands. He influences Riddle to break the rules. Because of the values on display and the interactions we see with Ace, Deuce, Riddle, and Trey, we can deduce that Che'nya is an antogonist, even though he's not a villain.

Perhaps you find this helpful. Perhaps you find it contradictory. Regardless, I hope it gets you thinking on a path that helps you make more sense of the story and the mechanics of the game.

Happy analyzing, my friend!!!

[hms-no-fun]

Do your political views influence your writing? and if they do, how so?

this is sort of a tough question. i mean obviously my political views affect my writing, i believe that's true of every writer. the "how" is throwing me for a bit of a loop though. maybe partly because pretty much my only public-facing writing at this point is godfeels, which really isn't indicative of the kind of stuff i spent my entire pre-transition life writing. which actually makes it harder for me to introspect on the subject because transition brought with it political radicalization. i'm not just a woman now, i'm a communist, and i've spent a lot more time thinking about propaganda and hierarchies and economic power dynamics. so i'm definitely more intentional about this stuff now... what the hell, let's give it the ol college try

i'm typically drawn to characters in working/middle-class positions, because those are the people i've spent most of my life around. everything i write is at least partially autobiographical, as seen in the vast majority of my pre-transition protagonists being sad adolescent/twenty-something boys crumbling under the weight of social expectations they have no interest in meeting but can't imagine an alternative to. it is frankly extremely funny how much of my early fiction was about characters who desperately wanted to transition but utterly lacked the language & framework for doing so... because i also lacked that knowledge. i have multiple hundred+ page books that i never finished because i guess i couldn't even let myself imagine what the logical conclusion would be.

in my subjects, i've always had opinionated characters who got mad about social ills. a loooooot of my old short stories started with characters arguing about politics. i was raised secular and grew up in the bible belt during the bush years. i've always had a strong moral compass and a tendency to Say Shit, and that absolutely comes through in everything i write. it's an impulse i have to tamp down on a lot, because as tempting as it is to get all your hits in whenever you can, a lot of times they come across as infantile and pointless. you know, dude standing up and giving a Big Important Speech about whatever social ill you happened to read about on tumblr that day. sometimes you can get good stuff from that you've really gotta earn it.

my current work is definitely a lot more coherently political than my old stuff. obviously the witchkind legion is my attempt to imagine a post-scarcity communist utopia that is still deeply flawed in its own unique ways. come home, wolf was a gesture in a similar direction albeit on a smaller scale, imagining a communist nation funding a rewilding initiative in collaboration with a historically oppressed werewolf population. i guess i'm thinking a lot more about The Material Conditions these days. pure character drama just doesn't do it for me anymore, it feels disconnected from the real. i want to know where my characters live and how expensive the food is. and i want my stories to be saying interesting things as much as possible, instead of repeating tired tropes out of a lack of introspection.

when i went through a Social Justice arc in my mid-twenties, i really became aware of the fact that all my stories were about straight white dudes in suburban environments. i started noticing accidental racism & sexism & homophobia & etc etc all over the place, laundered in through various unquestioned assumptions and a fairly sheltered upbringing. in hindsight this is a big reason i stopped writing fiction altogether from 2013 to 2019, that i felt totally trapped by my inherited biases. funny how much changed when i came out as transgender! these days the trick is finding ways to utilize that experience constructively. for instance, as someone who once used the r-slur with gleeful thoughtless disregard, how might i go about incorporating that experience into my writing thoughtfully? there's an understandable tendency in young writers to course correct hard around The Problematic, that i think can very often result in sterile text that's too timid to grapple with real issues. there's a learning experience attached to realizing that the r-slur (for instance) isn't just a word but a historical object, a linguistic bludgeon with valances far beyond anything within my limited sphere of experience. just because i don't use that word anymore doesn't mean other people don't, and those other people are not necessarily any more Bad than *i* was as a teenager. combined & uneven development and all that.

so now with the Upsilon Kids i'm trying to deliberately explore Problematic & Troubled Teens from a place of empathy and personal experience. i'm not setting out to Make A Point mind you, but a point will be made regardless so i might as well put some thought into it. this is another place where it's REALLY IMPORTANT to have a check on your political impulses. it's extremely easy for the desire to Make A Point completely override character voice and dramatic consistency. this is why we practice and try new things and challenge ourselves as writers, so we never feel like we've got it all Figured Out for too long.

well i hope that was a useful and not totally embarrassing answer because i'm going cross-eyed now and i absolutely don't have the attention span to proofread all that lmao

[pccyouthleader]

Hedgehog Hodgepodge: A Story of Espionage, Confusion, and an Evil Plan Gone Haywire

If you haven’t read Part One, here’s a link to the Master Post for all the chapters.

Part Two

Chapter 14: Secret Agent Man

Aurora had been living on her own for two weeks now. Shadow had left soon after her move was complete to go on another mission. After arguing heatedly with his contacts to send someone else, they were able to convince him that he was the only one who could decode the mysterious messages they had received. Shadow had tried to talk Aurora into going back to her parents’ house while he was gone, but she had refused. Wasn’t she supposed to be an adult now?

The problem was that she didn’t feel like an adult. She felt like a scared kid who was in over her head. Sure, living on her own was fun, challenging, and good for her independence, but it was also… BORING. If there was anything the last two weeks had taught her, it was that she needed people around.

In fact, she was overjoyed when Uncle Knuckles asked if she could watch Ruff and Tumble one evening while he and Aunt Rouge had a date night. The twins could be a bit much, but she welcomed the distraction from her loneliness. Aurora laughed to herself as she remembered spending half the night setting her apartment back to rights after Tumble got through with it. She had hoped for more evenings with those rascally boys, but they had recently left to go on a family vacation with Knuckles and Rouge.

The rest of her evenings had been spent reorganizing her closet multiple times, cleaning the apartment top to bottom, painting her nails a different color each night, flipping absently through the channels on her TV, and memorizing her joke book. All this time to herself in the evenings was driving her nuts. “Taco” ‘bout blah!

The thought had crossed her mind once or twice to call Felix. His number was still in her shoulder bag, but she got a weird feeling every time she remembered how quick the serval was to brush off the fact that she had a boyfriend, so she shoved that idea to the back if her mind.

She was considering getting another part-time job when a frantic knocking rattled her front door. Looking through the peephole, she was overjoyed to see that Shadow had returned!

“Shadow!” she cried, throwing open the door. “I’ve missed y-”

“We have to go,” Shadow interrupted her. He grasped her hand and pulled her through the door. 

“Okay, just let me get my bag and-”

“There’s no time. We have to go now,” His voice was urgent and he tightened his grip on her hand. 

As they made their way down the breezeway toward the door to his apartment, Aurora wondered what could be so pressing. Did Shadow finally get around to buying more furniture and want to show it off? Had he planned an exciting date night? That possibility made Aurora weak in the knees.

They had reached Shadow’s apartment by now, and he made quick work of unlocking the door. But instead of walking in to a candlelit dinner, she walked in to a complete mess. 

“Shadow, what’s going on?” she asked, becoming alarmed. Papers and small electronic devices were strewn on the sofa she had finally convinced him to buy. Soft and hard cases of differing sizes covered the mattress. There was a wall safe she had never seen before standing open, and a bright green Chaos emerald glittered inside.

“You’re in danger. We have to leave the village,” came Shadow’s short response.

Aurora blinked. “I can’t leave! I have my job and my apartment - and did you forget that my parents are having another baby?!”

Shadow stopped scrambling through stuff and looked at her. “Like I said, you are in grave danger. We have no choice.”

Aurora’s head reeled as she tried to understand this sudden change in her normal (albeit mundanely routine) life. Being with Shadow was thrilling, but things had taken a strange turn.

Shadow flung open several of the cases on his bed to reveal weapons of all sizes. He finally chose a small handgun holstered onto some kind of strap. 

“This is not happening,” Aurora mumbled aloud. “I am asleep in my bed having the craziest  dream about my boyfriend and his hidden arsenal. Are you sure? Well, maybe if I pinch myself, I’ll wake up. Nah that only works in the movies.”

“Do you always have conversations with yourself?” Shadow asked right in her ear. 

“Ahh!” Aurora jumped in surprise.

He placed his hands gently on her shoulders.

“Trust me,” he said quietly. The look in his eyes was so earnest, so loving, that she nearly melted. She nodded in response and he took her hand to lead her back outside his apartment.

“Where are we going?” she asked, confused.

“I’m taking you to your parents’ while I finish up here. They already know we’re leaving.”

Fat chance! Aurora thought to herself. Her dad would never let her go out of town alone with Shadow. I’ll bet this is some sort of elaborate ruse to surprise me somehow. At least I hope…

Shadow kicked on his air shoes, gathered her in his arms, and rocketed off in the direction of Sonic and Amy’s house.

[wolfwarrior142]

I don’t really understand your tags on that last post. If Rayla has the traits that people accuse Callum of having, and that somehow makes Rayla a monster, doesn’t that mean y’all think Callum is a monster?

If you're that toxic troll asshole that that post was literally about, then this is so fucking funny and sad lol.

And that literally isn't what I said. At all. That toxic person with the dozens of socks (and no life) gets pissed whenever people point out that Callum isn't completely morally good. He's very much a great person, and he has a great heart (and one of my fave characters in fiction). But he does have a dark side and has shown he is capable of doing morally bad (or at least gray) things, especially to protect Ez or Rayla. He literally referenced it in s5e8.

And that one person loves to act like no, that isn't true, he's completely pure and doesnt have any dark side, he's a perfect person uwu, source: trust me bro, also what is canon? They then go and act like "Actually Rayla is a terrible person instead." Ive literally seen people (or just other socks of that person) say that Rayla is worse than Viren. Rayla is anything but a perfect person and has flaws, just like Callum. Just like literally every actual person to ever exist. But they do the opposite of what they do with Callum and act like Rayla is neutral/morally gray at best but mostly a bad person. Makes me wonder if they even watched the fuckin show at this point because they just spew nonsense.

TDP is very good at showing through their named characters that not a single person is 100% good or 100% bad. Every morally good person is capable of doing bad things, and every morally bad person is capable of doing good. Or at least having a story behind them that makes it seem less like theyre doing bad things simply because they can; something that can give reason and explain why they do what they do. Only person who we haven't exactly seen that about yet is Aaravos, but seems like that may even change next season. I'm not explaining this well, but yeah.

This is what I think. And that troll swears up and down that the opposite is true, but also focuses exclusively on Callum and acts like Rayla is kinda like a moral opposite of him. And they trip over themselves at any opportunity to glorify Callum and vilify Rayla. They're both morally good people with faults that makes them do multiple morally bad/gray things. In the end, their good far outshines their bad. But that troll is like "nah" and flat out ignores canon stuff from the show and comics, and very clearly seems like they just want to argue and piss people off and cause problems. Like, fine, they can have their opinion. But it seems like more than just an opinion when it seems like their actual goal is to just piss people off. They also seem to pop up out of nowhere, like they stalk certain tags/blogs and jump in to cause problems where ever they see fit just for shits and giggles. Which is so extremely toxic and immature and slimey to do, especially when they've make literally DOZENS of sock accounts on MULTIPLE sites in the process.

And tbh, if you're that person, the fact you came here to send me this is honestly fuckin hilarious and so, so sad. I hope you're not because otherwise I pitty you so much.

[autistic-clownfish]

Hi. This was a lot to read and I don’t have the energy to do it justice, but from what you’ve said I understand your point of view. I guess I just want to do the right thing and avoid fucking up. I’m constantly looking for rules because they don’t come naturally to me. The world feels so black and white and then you come along and I’m forced to confront the fact it’s made of shades of grey and that’s terrifying for my autistic brain because it means I’ve lost my sense of stability. Sometimes I just never want to have an opinion again because I’ll always be bad in someone’s eyes and I just want to be liked.

Anyway… This post was to direct able bodied ND people to a tag to post under in which their experiences are centred and they aren’t treading on anyone’s toes or inviting hostility from other people in those tags, which I have seen multiple times.

To me, it honestly just isn’t worth it to argue with a bunch of tumblr users about one random hashtag on a website because I have a lot more important things to worry about than that - like trying to support my girlfriend with her mental illness, or the fact that people like me are having their rights actively stripped from them in other countries that my country allies itself with.

I think you make a really good point about entering physically disabled people instead of excluding neurodivergent people.

I have seen some downright hostile viewpoints from some other disabled people toward neurodivergent people, and some across the board assumptions that our conditions aren’t disabling. I’ve also seen some neurodivergent people claim that being physically and visibly disabled is somehow easier and that you get taken more seriously. I know first hand that this isn’t true from some of my own medical experiences.

I was feeling hostile when I started reading this, as I assumed you were going to be mean to me, but you were actually very nice and civil and I’m glad we were able to have this conversation. Don’t feel any pressure to respond or reblog this and please feel free to block me if that would be better for your mental health at this time. But if you ever want to talk, please feel free to message me.

Thank you for your time

Clownfish

NEUROPUNK

What is neuropunk? Neuropunk is a community for neurodivergent people (autism, adhd, epilepsy, dyspraxia and so many more) with a flair of punk politics and subculture. This means not giving a fuck what others think, radically accepting your situation and unapologetically being yourself.

What might you post in the neuropunk tag?

Posts looking for community and solidarity and to connect with one another

People sharing their experiences

People sharing their aids such as headphones, earplugs, tinted glasses that help with dyslexia, sunglasses, stim toys, compression vests, gloves, soft clothing and more

Brand recommendations for sensory safe clothing and aids

Tips for apps that can help us

Crowdfunding efforts and mutual aid

Unfortunately, the neuropunk tag is currently just people arguing over cpunk. Come on guys, we can do better than that! Let’s work on making this community work for us instead of invading established spaces.

For mentally ill folk, check out madpunk and for an autistic specific tag, check out autipunk.

[clone-bar-79s]

Okay. So the bad batch teaser is out and many fans have rightfully called out star wars out on the clones still being whitewashed. In response to this outcry, the bad batch stans have called out these angered fans for being overdramatic, stupid and theatrical, all over a cartoon. And while poc don't have a responsibility to teach you just how a cartoon can have an impact on us, I want to give it a try from my perspective. Its a bit long but try would you?

So, I'm brown, desi, and darker than most desis so I've basically been identified as the unfortunate child who didn't end up with the right genes in the family. Desi culture is obsessed with white skin, no surprise keeping in mind the British's involvement, but that's not the point. As a child, I really pissed off my parents for not bleaching my skin regularly and not washing my face ten times a day because by then, I considered any form of skin care as an evil. I hated that I had to do it all to get whiter and so I rebelled against any form of skin care. I hated all the damned whitening creams that were meant to make me beautiful because while it wasn't being stated explicitly, I was ugly for being darker.

In the 90s and 2000s, Desi movies from Pakistan and India showcased darker actresses as the ugly girl in the movie. The one who wanted the guy but wouldn't get him. The one who was pining for a guy who was however pining for the pretty white desi girl. And even if the dark girl somehow did end up winning the heart of the hero, it wasn't because he thought she was beautiful... it was because she had a great personality or was kind or whatever. But despite everything, watching Rani Mukherjee on screen, who I saw myself in, made me feel all sorts of giddy. When she did get the guy and he did tell her he loved her and she did get the happy ending, I believed it was possible for me too, despite being told by every passing aunt and uncle that I'd have a hard time getting a guy, if at all. Rani Mukherjee's presence on screen gave me hope because it told me that I could exist in this fucked up world and expect some form of happiness.

This sole example kept me going for a very long while. I'm not saying it helped me forget everything that had been engrained into my head for the first thirteen years of my life. It didn't make me rethink everything or made me more confident in my own skin. It didn't make me embrace my color, or my features, or my nose or my darker lips. But I knew I didn't have to be ashamed of the way I looked. And that there was more beauty in this world than the Eurocentric beauty I had been forced to accept as the only beauty since I was born . Seeing someone who looked like me has made a difference! This one person's presence on screen helped!

So, for those of you who are screaming out louder than the fans who are very rightfully angered by the whitewashing of the bad batch, you need to stop for a second. If you're white, you've never even had to think about this! That is because every actor in Star Wars looks like you! Bar some aliens and mace windu, the multitude of characters in star wars are white. The greatest jedis, the greatest villains, every skywalker, Kenobi, Rey, Ben Solo, Han, Padme and any other major character you can think of. You don't have to worry about how it feels to not be seen. You've been shown again and again that every princess looks like you and every actress resembles you and every hero has your face!

Polynesians were given a singular chance to see themselves in Star Wars as the clones who were modeled off a polynesian actor. This amazing role that showed us that people of all colors and races do exist! How hard is it to put yourself in our shoes, and empathize for one second, just how awful it feels to see that sole role snatched away ? That out of the millions of stories to tell about the clones, star wars chose to focus on the white versions of the clones. That they actually informed the fans, and proudly might I add, that they chose to model the clones off of white actors? That they went ahead and decided that for some reason it was okay that Tech have a British accent (???). Why is it so hard to understand that its absolutely horrible to see the one role offered to a colored guy, be transformed into a white man who, lets not forget, are supposed to be a new and improved version of the OG clones. And that the only one who most accurately resembles the clones, was made the bumbling brute of the group. And that the young girl who was a copy of Jango is not only blonde, but whiter than any clone ever seen on screens.

Can't you pull yourselves out from your own bubbles for just one second to understand the point of view of those against the bad batch? When they're telling you that the franchise's decision to whitewash one of the few colored characters is hurting them, cant you see why? That when an author tells us it was too hard to bother finding out how polynesian hair works, cant you see why the outrage makes sense? Every decision that star wars makes has an effect on the fans and its absurd for you to negate the impact that media has on all our lives.

[wonder-kid-pugh]

They are Always with Us - (Christen Press X reader)

Everyone was anxious this camp. Of course they were. The World Cup was only a few months away and roster selection was only around the corner. Which meant that every camp mattered. You needed to come and prove that you deserved a spot on that roster.

But that wasn't the only reason everyone was anxious

"Is she here yet?" Ali asks in a quiet whisper to the table which consisted of me, Ash, Pinoe, Becky, Alyssa and Alex.

Pinoe shakes her head slightly. "No. She and Tobin are arriving soon. Tobin flew out to her so she could keep her company and so they could come together".

Alex let's out a low sigh as she runs her hand through her hair. "Gosh. I wasn't sure if she would come or not. I don't know if I would be able to do it if I was in her shoes".

Ash stabs at her food as she shrugs, "I mean the World Cup is just around the corner. Every camp matters at this point".

"I know but we would all understand if she wouldn't come to this one. I mean she just lost her mom..." Alex says before trailing off at the moment end.

It was the sad reality of the situation. It's only been a month since Christen's mom passed away. We all knew how close she is with her family especially her mom. And to be honest we didn't know if she would come to this camp. It really killed us all to see the usually happy smiley and optimistic forward so sad. I remember attending the funeral with Tobin to offer support for Christen. It was crippling watching Christen leaning into her dad and sisters so devastated.

"Do we know who she's rooming with?" Ali asks again trying to move on the conversation quickly not wanting to dwell on the sad truth.

Everyone shakes their head and shrugs before I voice quietly. "I am". Everyone's head snaps to me in mild surprise. I guess they all thought she would be rooming with Tobin.

"Just make sure to give her the space she needs this camp. And maybe just keep an eye on her" Ali advises me with a small smile while I just nod. And with that the conversation swiftly moved onto talks of the World Cup.

After finishing up my food I throw away my trash before deciding to go to my room for a nap. But my eyes widen when I see one of my best friends standing there in front of me. "Tobin! Hi I didn't know you were here yet".

She gives me her signature big grinned smile as we both hug. "We only got here a short while ago. Was about to go get food. Christen said she was tired and went to take a nap in her room".

I nod as I bite my lip fiddling with my phone in my hands. "How is she?"

Tobin sighs letting out a huge huff of air as she scratches the back of her neck. "Didn't speak much to me on the flight or anything. I think she's still trying to come to terms with it. I think she just wants to busy herself now to distract herself". Tobin gets a cheeky smirk on her face, "She did say how she really wanted one of your big bear hugs though".

Of course Tobin knew about my crush on Christen. The three of us hang out all the time and caught me staring at Christen.... multiple times. That and Tobin was practically my sister of course she knew.

I can already feel my face burn as Tobin winks at me. "Shove it Tobs". She laughs a big belly laugh as she nodded her head towards the room. "Seriously though I think she would really like to see you".

I nod as I move towards my room, "Sure I'll see you later Tobs". She nods as she walks into the elevator, "See you later Lover girl".

I throw a middle finger back at her over my shoulder as I hear her cackle before the lift door's close. As I opened the door to our room I peak my head in, smiling when I see Christen was already passed out on the bed. But it's soon replaced with a frown as I see how exhausted she looked with subtle tear tracks on her face.

I move to plop down on my bed next to hers. But freeze when she starts to shuffle on the bed. She flips over onto her side so she's now facing my bed. A few loose strands falling into her face. I carefully and gently go to brush them out of her face and smile as I see her subconsciously smile before nuzzling her face into the pillow cuddling further into the blanket draped over her.

I climb back onto my bed ready to take my own nap. I stare at the ceiling for a bit. Usually if I was roomed with Christen I would be a nervous wreck. Worried I would let slip my feelings for her. But right now I can't focus on that. Right now she just needs me to be there for her. And as I drift off the last thought on my mind was that it didn't matter.

Cause Christen Press is way out of my league

---

I yawn tiredly as I stretch my arms over my head until there's a loud pop from my back. Media days sucked. They were always long and tiring.

And as much as I love Alex being paired with her both was awesome and sucked at the same time. Cause when I'm paired with her most of the questions get directed towards her with allows me to just sit quietly and answer a few questions as I wait for time to pass. But it almost meant everyone wanted to talk to her and so it always over ran and took forever.

So when I was finally released from media hell I couldn't wait to just curl up and crash for the night. Or maybe talk to Christen.

I would have been perfectly happy with either or.

Cause we haven't been able to fit in a proper conversation since she was already down in the meal room when I woke up from my nap. So apart from a small smile and a hug we haven't gotten the chance to really catch up.

As I'm digging around my sweatpants pocket for my room key I'm pulled from my task as I hear someone call me from behind. I turn to see Tobin and Mal walking towards me. "Hey guys".

Tobin grins at me, "Looks like Media has you dead on your feet". I just give her a blank 'really?' look causing the two to fall into giggles.

"Yeah well then your paired with Alex it seems like it's never ending media" I sigh. "Honestly I don't know how Alex does it. I'm pretty sure she answered the same question in about 6 different ways".

Mal scrunches her face in a small grimace. "Ouch. Media days are always kinda sucky. All we did was play Mario Kart all day".

I pout while the others once again laugh at my misfortune. "Lucky for some". My eyes flicker to my door as I swallow already feeling the heat from my cheeks. I clear my throat playing with my hands as I drop my voice slightly. "So uh have either of you seen Christen yet?"

Mal just shakes her head simply while Tobin gets a wicked grin on her face her eyes filling with mirth and glee. "No. But last I heard was that she was going to the roof".

When she winks at me I know I've been caught and rub the back of my neck shyly at Tobin let's out a big laugh while Mal looks between us confused. Swallowing back my embarrassment I shake my heat hoping the blush would die down quickly. "Uh I'm going to go check on her. Make sure she's okay".

But obviously Tobin sees through that as she winks at me. "Go get her Tiger".

I narrow my eyes at her and slap the back of her head as I walk past get towards the stairs. But wince and speed up when I hear Mal.

"Wait what?"

It takes a second before I hear Mal gasp and release a small "No!" Along with Tobin's hearty laugh. I mentally groan at the fact now Mal knows about my crush on Christen. Mentally working it out in my head how long is it going to be before the rest of the youngins as well as the entire team finds out.

Many many many stairs later and I'm finally on the roof. But now we come to the difficult part. What many people don't really know is.

I may have a 'slight' fear of heights

So when I look to see Christen leaning over what looks to me as a really rickety railing I can already feel my heart start to pound and I haven't even left the doorway.

So instead on focusing on how high we're up at the moment cause the thought alone makes me feel dizzy, I focus on Christen. How she has her arms crossed leaning on the silver metal railing. How she's wearing a pair of shorts and a loose and baggy shirt. Which upon further inspection I realize is mine. I smile thinking how many of my clothes she must had stored away somewhere.

Any time I bring it up she would always unapologetically smile at me as she wrapped her arms around herself and argue that my clothes were always warmer. But that's probably to do with the fact that I'm taller than her and my clothes are always bigger and baggy on her which makes her ten times cuter.

She had her long curly hair tied back in a ponytail keeping her hair out of her face and splayed out on her back. Except for these small strands near her face which are flying around due to the wind.

For a split second her elegance and beauty had me in such awe that I forgot about my fear

"Are you okay?"

I instantly curse myself out in my head. Of course she isn't okay. How stupid could I be. I physically wince at my stupidity but Christen just looks at me from over her shoulder and sends me a small smile before looking back out over the railing.

I gulp and pull at the neck of my jersey hoping that would help me breathe but it doesn't. Swallowing hard I take tentative steps towards Christen. Once I make it beside her I grip the railing hard with what could only be described as hanging on for life or death grip. With the railing in both hands I force myself not to look down and just breathe.

I only open my eyes when I see Christen sigh and step back still holding the railing but moving so that she now has her chin on her arms against the railing peering up at me through her eyelashes

Oh sweet Jesus

"How was media day?" Her voice is soft and light but still slightly strained.

I shrug being as brave to tap my thumbs against the railing in an attempt to distract myself. I fail. "You know. The usual. Long. I just let Alex do the talking mostly. Which is easy cause who would want to talk to me with her in the room?"

I meant it as a joke but obviously she doesn't find it funny as she frowns at me. "Your still important too Y/n/n".

I blush and make the mistake of looking out over the railing and then settle for looking at my shoes. "I...I know Chris. Just...". I sigh, "Who would want to talk to me when you have Alex Morgan in the room?"

I can see from the corner of my eye that she pouts at my statement before leaning her head against my bicep making me tense. "Well no offense to Alex but I much rather talk to you all day than Alex". She gives me a cute smile as she looks at me sideways. "Especially if it means I get more if those special bear hugs".

I bite my lip and look down but in doing so I accidentally ended up looking over the railing and down all the way to the ground. I felt like I wanted to keel over and just barf. My vision was starting to go wavey. The only thing keeping me upright was the fact that I knew Christen had other things on her mind to be putting up with my shit and the fact I was holding onto the railing so tight I was surprised there wasn't a dent in it.

There's a small silence. It was peaceful. The only noise there was the wind and the slight flapping of out clothes. And while I was trying to figure out what was best to say I guess Christen could see right through me.

"I miss her" she says softly distracting me from the urge to spill my guts over the railing. Her voice cracked slightly at the end. Accompanied by a tiny sniffle at the end. And I could see her look up and blink rapidly no doubt fighting back tears. "I miss her a lot".

I frown as I watch the person I love so much start to crack and crumble slowly. I open my mouth hoping to provide some sort of comfort but nothing comes out.

I sigh as I run my hand over my hair before I gently put my hand on hers. "I know Chris. I know". I close my eyes and take a deep breath before deciding to disclose something that not many people know about. "Have I ever told you about my family?"

I wait as I watch her think for a second before shaking her head. I dig around in my pocket for my wallet before I pull out a small picture and hand it to her. I smile as I watch her handle it so delicately. "I know everyone thinks Tobin and her family are my family, which I suppose is kinda true. Cause in College Tobin and her family practically adopted me into theirs". I point at the picture. "But that's my real family".

I can see Christen furrow her eyebrows in confusion as she looks at all the different people in the picture.

I look at the picture over her shoulder and smile fondly remembering the day it was taken. "This was taken the day I got my first call up to camp". I take a deep breath before I look away knowing what her reaction is going to be. Cause everyone has the same reaction when I tell them. "I came back from practice one day to see the entire orphanage had thrown me a party to celebrate".

And just as I expected her head pops up in surprise and her eyes widen

I can see how her mouth opens and closes several times but no words come out. I mean I understand that's usually the reaction I get from people. That and pity.

I shake my head smiling softly at her. "I didn't tell you to get sympathy or anything like that. It wasn't that bad. I mean it had it's moments and money was pretty tight most of the time but I have pretty awesome brothers and sisters". I wait a second as she continues examining the picture. "Did you know your mom knew?" I ask quietly.

Now that gets a reaction as her head snaps towards me and she stands up properly. "Really?"

I nod with a smile. "Yeah. Once I told her I wasn't related to Tobin she asked where my parents where and I told her the truth". I chuckle a bit as I rub my thumb over her knuckles. "She didn't treat me differently at all. All she did was hug me and she always invited me over for the holidays". My smile drops slightly, "I wish I had taken up at least one of those offers now. She truly was amazing".

"She never told me" she whispers quietly. She looks as if she's replaying all the conversations she had with her mom trying to think if she ever mentioned it.

I squeeze her hand. "I asked her not to tell you. I always thought she would but I guess she kept her word".

Christen looks down. "It was always important to her. Keeping her word".

I smile brushing some of those fly away hairs from her face and behind her ear. "It just made her even more incredible than she already was".

Christen looks down as she clasps her hands on a long beaded necklace. It takes me a second before I recognize it to be her mother's. "I really miss her".

And it seems that was what breaks the dam as her voice breaks and tears start to leak from her eyes. She starts to curl in on herself before she burrows into me. I hug her with one arm the other still holding tightly to the railing. But as I feel her tears start to wet my shirt I chide myself and ignore my fear and throw my arms around her holding her securely into my chest. I whisper small coos and reassurances in her ear as her sobs eventually start to die down.

As she stops crying she nuzzles her face into my chest making me let out a content smile. "Sorry".

I rub my hand in small circles on her back as I squeeze her tighter into me. "It's okay. Nothing to be sorry for". She looks up at me gives me a teary smile before her hands stop on my chest and she scrunches her face. "Y/n/n? Your heart is pounding. Like it's about to jump out of your chest?"

At that reminder my right hand goes back to clutching the railing while the other rubs the back of my neck sheepishly almost like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "Well" I stutter. "I might...kinda...have a fear of heights and we're really high right now and-"

Christen's eyes widen before she chuckles and takes my hand pulling me away from the railing and back to the center of the roof well away from the edge. I can already feel my vision getting better. "Why didn't you say so? You would have comforted me just as well from here".

With red cheeks, I shrug shyly scuffing my shoe against the ground only looking up when Christen giggles.

"Well that was really sweet of you Y/n" she smiles before she bites her lip. "Honestly I thought it was maybe... because of me". She scoffs quietly. "Stupid right?"

I blink at her owlishly trying to register her words before they finally click. Did she just....?

"What? No! I-I mean I..." I stop stumbling over my words and take a deep breath as I see her smile clearly amused at me. "I mean yes my heart was beating fast because of how high we are up. But I do like you and if we weren't this high up and there was a threat of me getting throwing my guts up right now you would definitely have my heart racing. I just always thought you were way out of my league. I mean your....you".

She bites her lip as she smiles and shakes her head at me as if I'm telling some bad corny joke. I gulp hard as she steps closer to me as I stay frozen in my place. "You never give yourself enough credit Y/n. I never understand how you can't see how amazing you are. I mean you came all the way up here, even though your terrified of heights, just to check on me". I see her eyes flicker down to my lips, "I think that's amazingly selfless of you".

And before my mind can catch up she leans in and kisses me softly at first as her hands lean up again my shoulders. As my mind slowly starts to comprehend what's happening my hands slowly move to her waist as I kiss back.

She pulls back only to come back for another kiss moving even closer so there's practically no space between us. Her hands move down and untuck my jersey from my joggers. I gasp as the kiss starts to get more intense and I have to hold myself back from letting a moan slip through my lips. Everything is better than I could have ever imagined. But while every part of me screams to let this continue. I know I can't keep letting this happen.

I pull back breathing heavy and I can see Christen inch in for another but using my grip on her hips I hold her back. Her eyes furrow and scrunch in confusion and concern as she searches my face for any tells.

I sigh screwing my eyes closed for a second trying to prepare myself. Not wanting to fall for those green eyes before I open my eyes. "Chris I would love nothing more for us to continue this. Like you don't know how much this pains me". I look into her eyes sincerely, "But I know your not in the right place right now. Your still getting over your mom and probably stressed about the World Cup and everything".

I can see her features ease at that but she's still slightly hesitant. "I promise you I would love nothing more to keep doing this. I just want to give you a little time to make sure this is something you want and not because your sad and want something to distract you. I don't want to take advantage of you like that".

With that Christen nods and smiles while on sigh glad I was able to convince her of my intentions. "Your too good Y/n".

I just smile down at her as I take my hand. "I just want what's best for you Chris....even if you decide that isn't me".

I move her hand to my chest directly over my heart. "But just so you know that I was being serious". I let her feel how fast my heart was beating. Even faster than when I was over at the ledge. "See? No where near the edge and you will have my heart racing. All systems were ready to go. And when I get back to our room I'll definitely need a cold shower".

I smile brightly as Christen bursts out in giggles trying to hide them behind her hand. "Gosh you make me laugh even when I think it's not possible anymore".

"I will make a fool out of myself everyday if it means I get to hear you laugh" I tell her honestly giving her hand a small squeeze. She smiles and gives me one small chaste kiss.

I smile into the kiss before we break apart and lean my forehead against hers. "Just remember. The ones who love us never really leave us". I point to her heart, "They'll always be in here".

She opens her mouth and scrunches her nose at me trying and failing to hide a smile blooming on her face. "Did you just...."

But before she could finish I nod. "Quote Harry Potter? Yes. Yes I did".

She giggles at me and gives me one last peck before pulling me by the hand back to our room.

"C'mon you dork I want some special bear hugs when we get back to our room".

[nobodyfamousposts]

The one thing I will never understand is why people got so mad at Marinette for winning against Max. Sure, her motive was to spend time with Adrien to practice for the tournament. I feel like people are forgetting that technically Marinette had to earn that spot by beating Max. I also noticed how no one pointed out that Max was ‘reading’ codes or combinations on the game while playing and that is technically cheating. Also, it isn’t Marinette’s fault that Max was akumatized because technically he didn’t lose to just Marinette but Adrien as well.

These are just my thoughts.

That's been a valid counterargument that people have brought up about that episode. Even if Marinette's reason for joining the tournament wasn't "pure", it wasn't like anybody was actually there to compete "for the glory of their school" and it doesn't change the fact that Marinette won the contest fair and square because she was simply better at the game, which was the point of the tournament. Competitions in general are based on ability rather than personal feelings or reasons for competing. It sucks when you're the loser, but that's how it works and if Marinette didn't deserve the spot, she wouldn't have gotten it.

I think the main reason people got mad and blamed her for the whole thing was because the narrative itself was framing Marinette as the jerk in the situation for winning, even if she did it completely fairly and was the better pick for the position based on ability. It's the same sort of lesson like Annie Get Your Gun where the entire point is that while the woman was better than the guy at the specific thing they were competing over, she should have let herself lose to protect the guy's precious feelings because not upsetting the guy is supposed to be the most important thing. And in a city where anyone who gets upset will be turned into some sort of monster, that would understandably be a legitimate concern in Miraculous. But in that case, Marinette might as well just stay in her room and never go out or do anything so she doesn't risk upsetting anyone.

It's a poor lesson, but it's not far from the course with Miraculous.

On the flip side, I've heard arguments of sexism with Max specifically targeting Marinette instead of Adrien. To be fair, I would argue that Marinette may have been Max's target not because she was a girl but possibly because she was the second and final winner that bumped Max to third place instead of second. Hear me out: Psychologically speaking, even if more than one person or thing is responsible for a person getting angry, when they're tipped into a rage, they tend to zero in on the most recent trigger or the current available target. How many of you have seen someone go off on someone else when the truth was they were really mad over something entirely different that happened earlier? Or multiple upsets throughout the day that just led to an explosion at the end over something relatively simple and completely unrelated? It could arguably be sort of like that.

In Max's case, while Adrien did beat him first, he at least still had a chance to compete in the official tournament. As such, while Max may have been unhappy about the loss, it was minor for him because he would still get to play. It wasn't until he was booted out completely from competing that he had an issue, and it's fully possible that he would have been just as angry if the lineup was switched and it had been Adrien or anyone else in Marinette's place. I think this is the case as Max's attitude didn't change when Adrien gave up his spot to Marinette, indicating that Max didn't really care that a girl had beaten him so much as he cared that he'd lost the chance to play altogether.

Of course, I may just be giving Max the benefit of the doubt here. As it is, there are a few of us who noticed he DID have the codes on his glasses, so there's been some question as to whether that was something he actually did or if it was just the show trying to highlight his expertise in gaming, but given the way the show works, that doesn't seem likely.

So yeah, Max lost and he likely cheated. That's not Marinette's fault. Her only "fault" is being insensitive to a friend's feelings, but she didn't actually know just how much Max cared about the competition. Also, the bigger point is it IS a competition and someone was bound to lose. She shouldn't have been made out to be in the wrong over that, especially when she wasn't the one showing off and looking down on her opponent.

Here's the thing: Much like with Reflektdoll, I don't have an issue with Marinette apologizing because she's a good friend who seems very much the sort of person to apologize to a friend if they're upset and if she feels she has had any part in that upset, regardless of whether or not she was actually the one in the wrong. It's less of a "moral of the day says Marinette was wrong so she HAS to apologize" and more of that just being Marinette's personality where she's of course going to feel bad for upsetting a friend even if she wasn't the one who did anything wrong (Reflektdoll) or it was a legitimate win (Gamer).

The problem I have is that the episode ended with Max going to the tournament despite knowing he wouldn't get to take part and instead of either apologizing to Marinette for trying to MURDER HER or doing the sportly thing and congratulating her for her victory or cheering her on, he was acting pretty passive aggressive given his stance and body language—which clearly indicated that he was still holding a grudge and giving the impression that he was likely there to make Marinette feel bad or cheer for the school team to lose out of spite. He was pouting until Marinette tried to give him his spot back...at a point where it really didn't seem like it was any longer her call to make and even if it was, it was a pretty lousy way to for him to treat someone he'd just attacked over it. This episode was primed for a lesson on good sportsmanship, but for that to work, it really needed to be focused on Max and have him being the one to apologize for being a sore loser instead of Marinette for winning.

[bloody-bee-tea]

Nothing wrong with nail polish

When Jiang Cheng gets out of the car he briefly wonders if he shouldn’t just turn back around and drive back home. Nie Mingjue did say that he didn’t want to meet because he was looking forward to a relaxing evening, but he also said that Jiang Cheng can come over whenever.

The indecision makes Jiang Cheng hesitate for a long, moment but in the end he slings his bag over his shoulder and walks towards the house.

He brought his own work. He and Nie Mingjue don’t even have to talk; they can just quietly work on their own stuff, or watch TV or something. It’s not like Jiang Cheng expects or needs much, but he has missed Nie Mingjue this past week and he just wants to see him.

So he lets himself into the house like he usually does but he doesn’t call out for Nie Mingjue because he doesn’t want to startle him. A quiet evening, Nie Mingjue has said. Jiang Cheng can give him that, even with being present.

He just hopes he isn’t overstepping here.

Jiang Cheng puts his bag down by the door, toes off his shoes and then makes his way towards the kitchen first. Nie Mingjue does like to cook, so maybe Jiang Cheng will find him there, but when he enters the room, he finds dinner already packed away so clearly Nie Mingjue is done with that part of the evening.

The living-room it is then, Jiang Cheng decides.

He makes his way further into the house, briefly wondering about the fact that Nie Mingjue doesn’t even seem to be watching anything on the TV but by then he’s already stepping into the living-room. And what he sees makes him freeze in the doorway long before Nie Mingjue even notices him.

Nie Mingjue is seated on the couch, but he’s hunched over the table, one hand on top of it, while he applies nail polish with the other.

It’s not the first time Jiang Cheng has seen Nie Mingjue with nail polish, but usually it’s Nie Huaisang who applies it, claiming that he needs a test dummy to practice a new technique or something so this comes as quite the surprise to Jiang Cheng.

He’s not sure what alerts Nie Mingjue to his presence, but his head flies up, his eyes wide when he notices Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng is surprised to see the panic in his eyes.

“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue breathes out, the nail polish forgotten in his hand and smearing carelessly onto his nails and Jiang Cheng shakes himself out of his surprise.

“You need to take better care,” he chides Nie Mingjue as he takes a Kleenex and quickly wipes the nail polish off the ruined nail.

It didn’t dry too much, so Nie Mingjue can simply redo it, he thinks.

“Hi,” he then belatedly says and presses a kiss to Nie Mingjue’s hand, thinking that Nie Mingjue still seems a little bit too shocked to receive a kiss to the lips.

“What are you doing here?” Nie Mingjue asks, still completely unmoving where he sits, the small brush remaining in his hand.

“Gimme that,” Jiang Cheng mutters and gently takes it from him, putting it back in the bottle and sealing it up. “I’m sorry for barging in like this, but I missed you,” Jiang Cheng then honestly tells him, still confused by the utter look of panic on Nie Mingjue’s face.

“I probably shouldn’t have come by, huh?” Jiang Cheng lowly asks with a regretful smile when Nie Mingjue stays silent and Nie Mingjue abruptly stands up.

“I said you were always welcome,” he gives back but he can’t quite meet Jiang Cheng’s eyes and Jiang Cheng can’t shake the feeling that he did something wrong.

That he messed up somehow.

“But not today, huh?” Jiang Cheng tries for a light voice, but he knows he misses the mark when Nie Mingjue frowns at him.

“I’m not—you weren’t supposed to see that,” Nie Mingjue says after a long moment, and belatedly hides his hand behind his back as if the nail polish bottle on the table alone wouldn’t have clued Jiang Cheng in on what he had been doing.

“Why not?” Jiang Cheng asks, because this hardly is the first time he sees Nie Mingjue like this, but something about it is clearly different than normally. “Huaisang put nail polish on you multiple times, didn’t he?” he asks, because he remembers the last time Nie Huaisang did it.

Nie Mingjue came to him with sparkling nails, rolling his eyes good naturedly when he told him Nie Huaisang was trying something new yet again.

Nie Mingjue clenches his jaw at the question and he turns away from Jiang Cheng, his shoulders hunched up.

“I said I wanted to be alone this evening,” Nie Mingjue snaps at him instead of answering the question and a year ago Jiang Cheng would have bristled and been hurt by his tone, letting all the insecurities back into his life, but he likes to think that he grew as a person.

He likes to think that he grew as Nie Mingjue’s boyfriend.

“You said you wanted a relaxing evening,” Jiang Cheng counters, though he keeps his voice even. “You did not tell me to stay away, and I thought we could be relaxing together. I’m sorry for assuming.”

It takes Nie Mingjue a few deep breaths before his shoulders finally come down from where he had them all drawn up.

“Don’t be. I should have been clear,” Nie Mingjue mutters and drags a hand over his face.

“What’s going on, my soul?” Jiang Cheng dares to ask, now that Nie Mingjue seems a bit more relaxed and he walks over to Nie Mingjue.

He slings his arms around his middle and presses his forehead to Nie Mingjue’s back between his shoulder blades and just feels Nie Mingjue breathe for a few moments.

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” Nie Mingjue says again and it makes just as much sense as it did the first time.

“Why not?” Jiang Cheng also repeats and Nie Mingjue slumps in his arms.

“It’s not always Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue whispers, and some of the tension seeps back into his form. “Applying the nail polish, I mean,” Nie Mingjue finishes when Jiang Cheng waits him out, and Jiang Cheng frowns.

“So?” he wants to know, because he still doesn’t understand where the problem is here.

“It’s not—why are you so calm?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and he breaks out of Jiang Cheng’s arms to pace the length of the living-room.

“I have seen you with nail polish before,” Jiang Cheng reminds him, very confused about what’s upsetting Nie Mingjue like this.

“Yeah, but it was Huaisang who put it on me, because he needed to practice,” Nie Mingjue shoots back and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“So? Apparently he doesn’t always practice on you and you sometimes do it yourself. I don’t understand why that is such a big deal!”

“I like wearing nail polish!” Nie Mingjue almost yells at him and he throws his hands in the air. “I know I shouldn’t but I do, okay? And Huaisang only applies it for me half of the time at best, because mostly I do it on my own. It’s just—a convenient excuse,” Nie Mingjue confesses, but he doesn’t seem relieved to say it out loud.

Jiang Cheng mulls that over for a bit before he turns around and goes back to his bag.

He’s pretty sure he brought it with him, he thinks as he rummages around in it, but it takes him a good while to find it. Long enough for Nie Mingjue to show up in the doorway, his face pale and unhappy as he watches Jiang Cheng.

“What are you doing?” he asks when Jiang Cheng clearly takes too long looking for it, and when Jiang Cheng turns to look at him, he looks scared.

As if Jiang Cheng would leave him for something as silly as this.

“I’m looking for some—aha,” he triumphantly says when his fingers close around the small bottle and he keeps it hidden in his fist as he walks back to Nie Mingjue.

“I was going to give this to Huaisang with a subtle suggestion that maybe he should try this on his favourite test subject, but it seems like I don’t have to anymore,” Jiang Cheng says and takes Nie Mingjue’s hand in his to put the little bottle into his hand.

Nie Mingjue’s eyes get big when he sees that it’s a nail polish and he blinks twice before he turns his gaze back to Jiang Cheng.

“I think this colour would look very good on you,” Jiang Cheng says with a shrug and drags Nie Mingjue back into the living-room. “You don’t have to use it, obviously, if you don’t like the colour, but I just thought—well, why not, right?” Jiang Cheng goes on when Nie Mingjue stays silent for too long.

“You don’t—mind?” Nie Mingjue carefully asks. “That I want to wear nail polish?”

“Why would I?” Jiang Cheng gives back.

“It’s not what men should do?” Nie Mingjue shoots back and Jiang Cheng laughs.

“Yeah, well, according to some people men shouldn’t be dating either and that never stopped you,” he gives back with a teasing smile and he feels accomplished when Nie Mingjue smiles back at him.

“But that’s something you do as well,” Nie Mingjue still argues back as if Jiang Cheng would truly, honestly mind that Nie Mingjue does something he likes.

“You’re an idiot,” Jiang Cheng says and rolls his eyes. “For all that I care you could be wearing skirts and dresses and I would still love you. Hell, I hope you don’t mind that I sometimes wear make-up when we I go clubbing with A-Ying. The eyeliner does make my glares more cutting and I like it that way,” Jiang Cheng easily gives back and it’s not even a lie.

“But doesn’t Wei Wuxian apply that for you?”

“He used to, but not as a test dummy. He did it for me, because I wanted to. But I actually learned how to do it myself a while back, so I’m no longer reliant on the most unreliable person on the planet,” Jiang Cheng tells him.

It seems like Nie Mingjue wants to say something else, but Jiang Cheng is tired of hearing him worry about something this silly, so he takes Nie Mingjue’s face in his hands.

“My soul, listen. I don’t care. If you like wearing nail polish then by the gods, wear nail polish, no scheme needed, okay? If you want to learn how to do a mean eye-liner I can show you, and if you want to do anything else that’s not considered masculine I’ll support you, because it’s a stupid concept anyway. But I don’t mind, and I love you just as much as I did before.”

“I love you, too,” Nie Mingjue immediately gives back, but Jiang Cheng knows him well enough to see the relief on his face.

He was honestly worried that Jiang Cheng would be upset over this and Jiang Cheng cannot let this stand.

“I bought this nail polish with the explicit thought of you wearing it, my soul. If you don’t like the colour, that’s fine, but this is how much I mind that you want to wear nail polish. I’m gonna buy you all the nail polish if you really want,” Jiang Cheng promises and thinks back to the sparkling silver one he also saw.

He might have to buy that one next.

“I love you,” Nie Mingjue says again, but this time he sounds much firmer and way more settled and Jiang Cheng smiles at him.

“Good,” Jiang Cheng nods. “Now, did you really not want to see me or is it okay if I stay and we do our respective thing or whatever?” he asks, looking down at the abandoned nail polish on the table, the one Nie Mingjue was applying before Jiang Cheng barged in.

“I would like it if you stayed,” Nie Mingjue says and leans forward to kiss Jiang Cheng. “Hi, by the way.”

“Hi,” Jiang Cheng breathes out when they part, a silly smile on his face that drops when Nie Mingjue gets up. “Where are you going? I was just getting started,” he complaints and makes grabby hands at Nie Mingjue.

“Be a good boy, I need to get some remover for this,” Nie Mingjue says with a laugh and wriggles his fingers at Jiang Cheng.

“What? Why? I thought we established that it’s okay! I didn’t make you mess it all up, did I?” he asks, reaching out for Nie Mingjue’s hand to inspect his nails personally.

It seems like most of the polish dried without a problem so he doesn’t understand why Nie Mingjue would want to remove it again.

“You didn’t,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and bends down to kiss Jiang Cheng’s forehead. “But you brought me a colour that is so much nicer than what I have here and I want to try it immediately,” Nie Mingjue then tells him and Jiang Cheng sighs out in relief.

“Alright then,” he allows. “That’s the only reason I will let pass.”

“How generous of you,” Nie Mingjue throws over his shoulder as he walks into the bathroom.

Jiang Cheng makes himself comfortable on the couch and it’s not long before Nie Mingjue is back. He gets to work almost immediately, and Jiang Cheng is very content simply watching him meticulously cleaning the old polish off his nails, before he leaves again to wash the remaining remover off.

Jiang Cheng tries to hold very still when Nie Mingjue applies the new colour, not wanting him to mess anything up, and when he’s done Jiang Cheng carefully takes one of his hands to admire the new colour.

“I knew this colour would look amazing on you,” he breathes out and kisses the back of Nie Mingjue’s hand, before he slides under his arm and snuggles into his side, still mindful of the wet polish.

“Thank you for thinking of me when you saw it,” Nie Mingjue whispers back and hugs Jiang Cheng close.

“I’m always thinking of you,” Jiang Cheng tells him. “It’s a problem, honestly.”

“I don’t think so,” Nie Mingjue chuckles. “I’m thinking of you all the time, too.”

“As you should,” Jiang Cheng decides and then reaches for the remote for the TV.

They spend the rest of the evening snuggled together, almost not speaking at all, but Jiang Cheng can see the satisfied and happy look on Nie Mingjue’s face when he can’t stop ghosting his fingers over Nie Mingjue’s freshly painted nails.

It really is Nie Mingjue’s colour and Jiang Cheng vows to get him many more. Anything to see him this happy again, he decides.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[sketching-shark]

LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.  

 I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends  that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading. 

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.  

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you. 

  But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens. 

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona. 

[issaxcharlie]

Owen hosts Couple tag

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Artist Fem Reader

Summary: We play pretend world guys✨ (I missed them, I’m SoRryyyy.) So, Charlie wants some reassurance after starting to prepare his proposal to Y/N and makes this “genius” plan with Owen to find her answers without being suspicious. (She totally knows tho) also a lot of friendship fighting between Owen and Y/N because I had to, I made myself laugh a lot so I’ll hope at least makes you smile🤧🤣Anyways, have fun!

This is also my weird and nonsense way of doing sweet @marvel-ousnesss request of the we play pretend couple to do a couple buzzfeed quiz 💖

The blonde takes a deep breath before picking up his phone and heading to the living room, where his couple of friends and roommates are on the couch. Charlie is lying down watching television and Y/N is lying on top of him with her face snuggled into his neck, he hugging her around the waist while gently running his fingers down her skin.

The plan was simple, to help Charlie plan the perfect proposal and give him an idea of what she expects from her wedding, they were doing a “Couple tag” video. That way the questions wouldn’t be as suspicious. Of course, there are easier ways but we are talking about Charlie. They convinced Kenny to call her and tell her that it was to promote the second season that is currently being filmed, and she agreed.

Charlie mentioned many times that someone else had to ask her the questions because she reads her boyfriend like an open book, so his improvisation had to be perfect to keep his best friend’s clever girlfriend out of the hook.

He decided to start the live from his room so as not to give the singer the opportunity to think much about it, so he sits in the living room and focuses the image on his friends who are not affected in the least by their positions. After all, everyone already knows that they are a couple and that they live together.

“Hello, I’m Y/N Y/L! And yes, that sexy, beautiful, adorable and talented man is my boyfriend, Charlie Gillespie.” He blushes as the memory of their first night back as a couple invades the mind of the Canadian, who had his girlfriend in exactly this position when she was, as she said, 'practicing' her introduction. Sadly, this time it will not end like that night because his best friend and about 500,000 people are watching.

“Welcome to my first edition of the Couple tag everyone! Here's my first guest couple, I know it’s not much, but I promise to find someone worthwhile next time, this is just for practice." Charlie laughs but looks nervous. Instead, his girlfriend sits down and rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe you chose him over a puppy or a hamster." The girl says to her boyfriend while laughing at her friend's offended reaction.

“I'm going to write that down in my long enemies list, but for now I have a live to lead. Okay guys, so basically I will ask them questions and I will also choose who answers them because I’m the only one hot enough to call the shots here."

She laughs and sticks out her tongue. Charlie sits down too and she takes his hand to fiddle with it. She keeps arguing for a few minutes with Owen but shows no signs of not wanting to play the game so he starts before she regrets it.

“Okay, first one is for Charlie. How did you guys met? This is actually a good one because a lot of the fans think you met on set and are like this really intense couple who started to date the very first week without even knowing each other’s last names.”

They both start laughing at the comment. The truth is that they have seen multiple posts and comments online from people judging their relationship and how fast they were going, especially when they did that last interview together and Y/N said that Charlie was taking his sweet time to ask for marriage, since for the fans they only have one year and months of knowing each other.

“We have known each other since forever. Our moms were best friends and we were born only a few weeks apart so we've always been together. We grew up as best friends and were dating before Y/N moved to New York to play Daniela on Stardust." Charlie tries to shake off the memory of the last tearful kiss before Y/N got on the plane. Hopefully he’ll never have to part from her for so long again. Sometimes he can't even understand how he managed to get through those 5 years.

"So no, we don't know each other for just one year, but 22." She adds, kissing his nose.

"Y/N, honey. I didn't ask you, don't be rude and wait for your turn." Owen says teasingly, the girl laughs and throws a pillow at him.

“Okay, rude again. Y/N, What is the first thing that he ever gave you?”

“Oh my, this beautiful valentines card! We were like eight I think. The paper is red, and it is filled with gold and silver glitter stars. Inside is a big star that has written in the middle, “My bright star, happy valentine’s day. I love you. And a lot of doodles of my favorite things, like my guitar, a microphone, chocolate, and a little Charlie. Just adorable, I still have it and to date it is one of my favorite gifts.”

The emotion with which she responds makes Charlie's heart melt. That was the first time he called her bright star, and he kept saying it to her during every audition, every performance, every practice. The exact reason not even she knows, but maybe one of these days he'll tell her.

“Rude and a liar. The 22-year-old Charlie's handwriting is horrible, the 8-year-old Charlie handwriting could only be close to a squiggle, nothing more. Oh, and probably only you had the ability to read it. I very much doubt that was beautiful."

She opens her mouth in surprise and wrinkles her nose, feigning annoyance. “I liked you more when you had a crush on me. You were nicer.”

Owen's eyes widen and he turns to see Charlie looking for help but he just starts laughing. “Wh- What are you talking about, mean girl?”

“Oh c’mon, you totally did, Ohio.” She smiles at the camara while showing a superiority face.

“Really? I already told you a thousand times, I'm from Oklahoma. But hey, how funny, forget about Stardust and audition for Funny Girl!”

“Jokes on you, I would nail Fanny Brice.”

“Man, defend my honor!”

“Bro, I can’t. You totally did, I even got worried for a second there.” It is incredible to think about how their friendship has grown and matured over time. They went from Owen fangirling every time he saw her to being really good friends. All these fights are more of a show than anything else, the truth is that when nobody is recording they tend to be very cool around each other and the three of them have quite a pleasant dynamic now that they are living together for the show.

“I won, Idaho. Now, please continue.”

“Well, my friends embarrassed me on my own live. I can already imagine the headlines tomorrow. Anyways, Charlie, Would you let yourself in danger to save her?”

Charlie starts laughing as he drops his head on the girl's shoulder. "I think she's not going to let me lie, I always have and will continue to do so. For me it's always her safety first."

"Which has given me more than a scare but he's so freakin stubborn." She adds while looking stressed and Owen can't help but imagine all the situations Charlie must have put himself in before.

“I prefer you scared than in danger, beautiful.” He grins and kiss her lips, her facial expresions relaxing at his touch.

“Gross. Y/N, do you prefer a small wedding or a big wedding?” She can feel Charlie tense at the question, so she leans her body back to support it against him and give him a lowkey reassurance.

“I hadn't really thought about it, but I know that my almost mother-in-law has been planning it all her life so you should check with her.”

His mom. Y/N is right, as always. His mom is their biggest shipper and the wedding is probably something she’ll want to be an importart part of, maybe way more than with his brothers since she adores the girl as much as her own kids, and the fact that his girlfriend is even more aware of that fact than him makes him smile.

“Do you love it when someone refers you as ‘her boyfriend’?”

“Always. Especially if it's her. She has that little knack of saying it whenever she can and it’s the most adorable thing in the world.”

“Oh I thought she was just showing it off to me because she was intimidated by our chemistry. I don't feel so special anymore.” Charlie chuckles and sends a secret air kiss to his friend, who just smirks and fakes to blush.

“How would you handle it if you thought another man was hitting on her?” Owen asks the guitarist raising an eyebrow.

“She usually takes care of that situations, her method is to take me by the shirt and kiss me hard on the lips. I’m never going to complain about that.” Charlie says smirking and blushing.

“We are a celebrity couple, for better or for worse. I’m not having him in a fight when I can just kiss that beautiful lips and solve the problem.” Charlie smiles as he wraps his girlfriend in his arms, so she can't see his face with the next question.

“What do you dream of your marriage? Mmm, let’s go with Y/N.”

“Anything will be perfect if I spend it with the man of my life. My Char is my everything and my biggest dream is to live my whole life laughing by his side.” Owen pretends to vomit as Charlie fills her with kisses under the ear, clearly moved by her answer.

“Let’s get to someting less cheesy because I really can’t with you both anymore. Has anyone ever tried to break your relationship?”

Charlie rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment. “Yes. We were like seventeen, and this guy from hockey had this big crush on her, so he tried to flirt with her many times even though everyone knew she was my girlfriend, until one day that he made her too uncomfortable and things escalated between him and me. Luckily my brothers intervened before something else happened because he was much bigger than me. I would have totally lost.” He chuckles while his girlfriend turns to see his face and gives him another sweet kiss on the corner of his lips.

“Yes guys, they are this annoying all the time. How do I survive? A lot of yoga. Next question, If three guys are standing, and you have been blindfolded, then how would you recognize him? Guys we actually did this like three days ago on set.”

“It was awesome! We put my bandana on her eyes and since it had my smell she couldn't be guided by that to choose.” Charlie explains excited.

“We got the three of us, first Jeremy then Charlie and then me in front of her, then she began to lightly touch Jer's hand. Then she went to Charlie's, it didn't take her a minute to recognize him and she took him from the hair and draw him to her lips, it was actually a pretty smooth and risky move, I’ll give you a point for that, prodigy brat.”

“Char's body inadvertently reacts to mine. It was pretty easy to tell the difference, especially after touching Jeremy's hand.” She turns her head to give Charlie a soft kiss on the lips and then Owen starts laughing like crazy and telling her to come see a specific comment.

She gets up and goes to sit next to him, Owen changes the camera so that now they are the ones in the image and she begins to read aloud. “Charlie I could give you my... Oh my god!” Owen continues laughing, resting his head on his friend who simply watches the screen in shock.

“Thank god Charlie doesn’t know how to read.” Owen, who was just recovering from his giggling fit, laughs again as Charlie giggles and sticks his tongue out at his girlfriend.

"Who needs to read when you look this hot with sleeveless shirts." He jokes while winking at his partner, which seems to melt in front of the camera that is still pointing directly at her.

“The man has a point. Okay, Y/N move your ass back there I’m still in charge of this show. Would you prefer a silver or gold ring?”

She makes sure to move off the screen and sticks her middlefinger at Owen before heading back to her place with her boyfriend. “Good and really random question.” She smirks, not making contact with her boyfriend. “I don't have a preference, but I would love Char to design it. Obviously with the correct guidance, but yeah he choosing every detail and then explaining to me why he choose it would be the dream.”

Charlie smiles. He was already imagining something like this after so many years of gifting and has already been visiting the jewelry store several times to make sure he designed the perfect ring for his girl, a slight feeling of pride filling him.

“Which series does she thinks resembles your relationship?”

“She loves Boy Meets World and see a lot of us in Cory and Topanga. I can totally see it too, after all they too have known each other their whole lives and have a bond as strong as ours.”

“Well that explains why she’s always telling me ‘Life is though, get a helmet’ instead of actually help me.” She grins at the memory of Charlie’s last prank on Owen a couple of days ago, it was really good since she secretly helped him plan it.

“Man, It wasn’t personal. I do the same with Char. I’m not going to be known for being the one ruining prank war. Take it to the end of the road, if you need me to take you idiots out of jail I totally will... eventually.”

“My girl, everyone. Isn’t she awesome?” He watches her adoringly and she blushes in response, buring her head on his neck.

“She always has this enormous energy and personality but all it takes is for you to see her for her to melt, that’s... kind of cute actually. Okay next question Stardust, What about If Charlie tells you to marry him tomorrow?”

For the thousandth time that night Y/N can feel Charlie stressing out. The fact that he planned together with Owen and Kenny all of this just to make sure he was on the same page with her is the most adorable thing in the world.

“I’m pretty sure he knows I would always say yes. He could have gotten on a plane when we were 18 and told me ‘I don't want to be without you, let's get married.’ And I would have said yes. He’s my person, I have nothing to think about, I have always known it’s him."

Now it's Charlie's turn to melt, and Owen himself can't help but smile.

Charlie's confidence in what he has planned is higher than ever, and the day when he can finally make it official is near. He has been dreaming of this day with his Y/N for years and he will finally get it.

“Well guys, that was it, give it up to my favorite couple of dumbasses and please stop asking obvious questions. Will I be Y/N’s maid of honor? Of course I will. Oh, and tune in next week to see me becoming Kenny’s new favorite after I challenge Y/N in a dance duel with I got the music. Golden star is GOING DOWN."

Thank you for reading✨

NEXT PART HERE

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13 , @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @dpaccione @tuttigunner

[somebody-909]

Stalkyoo After the Formal (pt.1) - Role Reversal and Yeong-Gi's Denial of His Feelings

The black and white formal acts as a turning point in Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s relationship, establishing their friendship and giving them moments of romantic tension.

It all leads to the emotional finale on the hospital balcony, where Yeong-gi first feels genuine romantic feelings for Shin-Ae.

This analysis looks at key moments that show how Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s relationship changes after the formal arc — displaying emerging romantic feelings, and why their roles seemed to have reversed: it is now Yeong-gi who is hesitant to get any closer to Shin-ae, and she is the one eager to connect with him.

Ep. 75 | Elevator - Why the awkwardness and melancholy?

When Yeong-gi first sees Shin-ae after the balcony he seems quite... polite and distanced. He doesn’t act like the Yeong-gi of the past at all. He doesn't joke around with her like he used to... He doesn't smile or act friendly and he awkwardly turns away after looking at her.

He only smiles in the first panel, and his expression is… complicated. Note his soft smile, slightly closed eyes and slightly furrowed brows.

It's a soft, fond but slightly melancholic look.

This mixed expression is caused by genuine fondness for the person it’s for, with the additional tension and slight melancholy/sadness caused by the fact that this fondness is unspoken. This Look™, is the first expression he gives her after the balcony.

(But if I’m speaking more subjectively, this is the look people give those they love, but where it is unspoken. The melancholy associated with the expression makes it less likely to be purely platonic in nature — platonic friendships don’t often have this sense of something hidden and unspoken, and more often have relatively straightforward reciprocal affection. The romantic nature is also emphasized since The Look™ is being given to someone Yeong-gi has known for only a few weeks/months.)

At the least, this unspoken fondness may explain why Yeong-gi seems so awkward afterward:

He senses a difference in their feelings towards each other (he feels this because he is somewhat aware of the true nature of his, but Shin-ae is not/would not be at this stage)

He does not appreciate the nature of these feelings and does not want to entertain them (for reasons mentioned in my balcony analysis)

Shin-Ae also notices his odd demeanour and tells him she thought he'd be more excited - Yeong-gi's behaviour is purposefully shown to be different now. It's hard to imagine this is the same guy who'd joke around, easily and outwardly showing his joy to be around Shin-ae.

In Ep. 78, Yeong-gi is called by Shin-ae after she’s forced late when Dieter passes out. He has The Look™ while speaking to her. (Notably, Yeong-gi only has this look when they are not directly looking at each other). When Yeong-gi picks her up, he seems awkward once again… especially due to seeming like a third wheel in Shin-ae and Dieter's budding relationship.

He has The Look™ in images 1, 2, and 4. And in image 3, he seems very awkward being with Shin-Ae and Dieter. (I'd argue his expression also shows displeasure — he slightly, and under-the-surface, doesn't like what's happening).

Ep. 85 | A Bear and Allergies - Compassion, but only at a distance

After Shin-ae’s sister invades her home and Shin-ae calls over the bois, she is obviously quite unnerved and uneasy. Yeong-gi immediately recognizes this and in aims of comforting her, tells Dieter to give her a hug (which he is unable to do without freaking out so he gives Shin-ae a hug using a bear as proxy).

Yeong-gi understands how Shin-ae feels and wants to comfort her, but instead of doing this himself (eg. by talking to her, giving her a pat on the shoulder, etc...), he tells Dieter to. Although he's being a good wingman, there’s an interesting sense of Yeong-gi making sure to keep his distance, even if he wants to be there for her.

When Shin-ae notices Yeong-gi’s allergic reaction (which they think may be a fever), she reaches to touch his forehead to gauge his temperature — he quickly declines and moves her hand aside.

In my black and white formal analysis, I discuss the motif of distance and how it’s seen in Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s dynamic — and how it’s represented through touch and their hands. Characters who want to connect emotionally will also show physical signs they do (like extending your hand to someone). Emotional connection often requires characters to physically be present together as well. Characters who want to avoid connection avoid touch and keep their distance.

Here, Shin-ae shows a desire to “reach” Yeong-gi by helping him, and this is reflected when she extends her hand and reaches to touch his forehead. A refusal of her touch in this case is also a refusal of her help and her attempt to connect to him. Shin-ae shows some slight discomfort at this – it was a harmless attempt to help him, but he doesn’t want her to.

Yeong-gi follows with an explicit verbal refusal:

“Again, you don’t have to worry about me… You just had your home broken into, you need to put yourself before me, alright?”

This is fitting with Yeong-gi’s overarching character arc — he has an extremely low sense of self-worth that prevents him from accepting others’ concern. Him telling Shin-ae to put herself before him also fits his thinking: that those he cares about are more important than him, Shin-ae included. And it doesn’t matter if what she actually wants is to help him.*

*This is an interesting trait of Yeong-gi's... despite caring deeply for Shin-Ae, he undermines her intelligence and wishes by not accepting her affection for him, and carefully controlling how close she gets. Although born from insecurity, it is also, fascinatingly, covertly manipulative.

Ep. 85-6 | Bills - I care about you

Yeong-gi asks Shin-ae if she is able to get to where she is staying for the night and she gives him more information than he asks for, showing new emotional vulnerability. He notices this and gives her The Look™ — he appreciates that she is now more open to him.

When Yeong-gi sees her overdue bills, he makes sure to let her know that her financial struggles do not determine her worth and anyone who tells her otherwise isn’t worth her time.

“Remember you’ve always got someone to lean on with your friends, okay?”

His spiel is incredibly heartwarming, and we can understand that he states these things from his own heart. However, he keeps it impersonal, stating "your friends" (not “me” or “us”) and instead allowing Shin-Ae to define whether he fits under that category as well. Yeong-gi is no longer trying to assert his friendship anymore.

After opening up more in response and letting the boys take her to the hospital to stay with her father, she removes the "Stalker" in Yeong-gi's contact name in her phone, showing development in their relationship since they first met and a large difference in how she sees him now — they're friends, and she thinks so too.

Ep. 89 | Insolence, but only for Shin-ae (and only in secret) & a Kousuke/Yeong-gi parallel

After learning of Shin-Ae's etiquette classes, Yeong-gi enters Kousuke’s office, specifically to start trouble with him. Yeong-gi is shown to try his best lately to obey his family members (namely his father), but once again we see how he is fine with starting trouble, even if it costs him, if it's for those he cares about — despite Kousuke reminding Yeong-gi of the repercussions of getting in trouble with their father, Yeong-gi doesn’t back down.

Kousuke: “You know you’re only going to anger father if he catches you being indolent.”

Yeong-gi: “I don’t give a crap if he finds out.”

Yeong-gi then aggressively asks him about the classes Kousuke put her in:

Kousuke: “It’s for her own good.”

Yeong-gi: “What do you mean, her own good?”

Kousuke: “... She’s the worst employee I’ve ever seen, so I signed her up for classes to fix her issues.”

Yeong-gi: “Have you ever voiced your concerns… tell her what she can improve upon? … She may have her flaws, but she’s a lot more capable than you think!”

Kousuke: “I’m preparing her for what’s to come her way in the future.”

Yeong-gi: “You don’t even know if she wants this career for her future! Everytime I see her, she’s miserable. Like she wants to leave. She’s uncomfortable!”

In my black and white formal analysis, I discuss how there are multiple instances— where Yeong-gi and Kousuke, as well as how they affect Shin-Ae, are purposefully contrasted — and this is paralleled here.

Consistently in these instances, (although Kousuke’s intentions are often good) Yeong-gi is shown to be the one who best understands Shin-Ae. At the very least, Yeong-gi is shown here to care for Shin-Ae enough to confront his brother and potentially face the wrath of his father, despite trying especially hard to be in their good graces recently.

However, it is important to note — Yeong-gi goes out of his way to ensure his intentions of helping Shin-ae are indirect and she does not know. Instead, he tries to help her in roundabout ways, secretly.

Yeong-gi does not want his good intentions to reach her.

Conclusions

Yeong-gi displays a notable difference in how he acts, especially around Shin-ae. His new emerging feelings conflict his insecurities, resulting in a standoffish Yeong-gi who is secretive in his affection, and calculatingly tries to distance himself from Shin-ae. But... this isn't what he truly wants, and is instead, another form of self-sabotage.

However, as time goes on, Yeong-gi cannot keep this facade up indefinitely... and he's occasionally caught off guard, giving us glimpses into what he truly feels.