#the facets are sometimes emotions but also other things

[cosmosynthesis]

school starts tkmrowo maybi i should leanr how to us e this app (it is 2am ignore my horrid tyoign plz)

[unopenablebox]

i'm fighting demons but the demon is making biweekly posts about how perfect 🌸 is

[townofcadence]

Artie baby you are not like that. I have personal experience with someone who treated me like I was broken and told me all the time how they were going to fix me, they would tell me things that were wrong with me and how they would make me better. You are not deciding for anyone or forcing them to do things your way, and don't punish them if they don't. I see you offering but I never seen you force. I am away from that and you remind me of my bestie now. There is a huge difference between what you do and that, trust me 💖

"...I can understand. I'm sorry you were in that position, but I'm glad you're not, anymore. But... thank you."

[chibelial]

.

[love-marimo]

Dancing in the Rain (Neuvillette x Reader)

Lolita's Note: ー in which you saw neuvillette standing by the porch in the midst of a downpour of rain ー you asked him to dance, and little did you know it soothed his aching heart.

This, again, is taken from the actual lore of the hydro dragon crying whenever it rains!

There is a common superstition passed down through the hushed whispers in Fontaine…

…that when it rains, it is said that the Hydro dragon weeps.

It is something that you have always wondered about. You always thought about the things that made the hydro dragon cry, because it happens quite often too.

With that said, you have come to a realization that the Hydro Dragon must have a tender heart.

One that is as gentle as a morning drizzle.

Yet one that is as powerful as a thunderstorm blaring through the darkest of nights.

When the latter happens, you seek the arms of the one you love, Neuvillette. And somehow, when your bodies find each other, you swear to the archons that the storm has calmed down.

Even just a little.

The thing about Neuvillette is he does not like to display his emotions.

But he is very polite and courteous. He does not like to make anyone feel excluded, despite working in an occupation where a cutthroat attitude is necessary.

One can say that his personality becomes two sides of the same coin.

There is a middle ground, though ー a blurred space that combines these said facets of his personality. One that he fails to hide every single time.

One that comes out when it rains.

"Darling? Neuvillette?" You shift on your shared bed in a half-asleep state, looking for him.

When you sense that he's not inside your bedroom, you lit up a lamp and searched for him in your shared home.

It's been raining pretty hard these days. Coincidentally in your point of view, Neuvillette has been acting odd. It's as if he's more uptight and aloof. You noticed that he also stays up pretty late ー sometimes you think he doesn't sleep at all.

Another strange thing he frequently does, is he stands by the front porch watching the downpour of rain.

So now you definitely knew where he is.

Slowly, you hesitated to reach for his hair, but you did anyway. Caressing it gently, he was taken by surprise for a moment before he turned to you and gave you a small smile.

"Oh, my dear. You should go back to bed. We still have two hours before it is morning." He curtly tells you before he holds you closer to him.

"It seems that you want me to stay, though." You chuckle, placing your hand on top of his.

He lets out a small laugh ー one that comes out as a content sigh.

The loud downpour of the rain calmed down into a somber drizzle.

"Do you still find storms scary?" He asked you, while he looked out to the distance. You nod in reply. He sighs once again, as if he's apologizing that it cannot be helped.

"As long as you're here, I'm going to be fine." You held his hand and took him with you outside, a sudden idea of dancing in the rain popped in your head.

"What are you doing?" He asked you, a bit alarmed.

"Let's dance in the rain!" You exclaim.

"You're going to catch a cold." Neuvillette tries to take you back inside.

"Then take care of me when that happens!" You retort.

Neuvillette laughs. It sounded more genuine now.

It continued raining, but unlike the violent storm before, it poured gently on your skin. The man brushes a wet strand of your hair that covered your face and smiles at you again.

"Very well. Lead the way, monsieur/mademoiselle." Neuvillette put his hand over his chest, while you held the hem of your dress shirt on both sides.

After you bowed, you took Neuvillette's hands and guided them ー one finds its way on your waist and the other holds your hand.

"We don't have music, so let's just pretend that we are dancing to the melody of the rain." You laugh, as you begin dancing to the rhythm of waltz.

You both shared tender laughs and danced in the rain like children, even if the only light that illuminated you were the lamps of your home.

"I am sorry. I should've stayed in bed. I don't want you to be the one seeking my presence every time you feel afraid, upset, or terrible in general." He sighs.

Just as you wonder if the hydro dragon has a human form, Neuvillette wonders if you already cracked the code.

"Hydro dragon, don't cry. Hydro dragon, don't cry." You started to chant softly, as if lulling a weeping child.

He softened at your expression. As he spun you around he asked,

"Where did you learn that?"

"Oh, nothing. I thought it would be nice if the Hydro dragon hears it. I mean, not that it would be of much help." You chuckle.

Neuvillette then finds himself repeating the same words.

"Yeah that's it, let's chant it together!"

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Neuvillette admires your gentle nature. One touch, one word, and one look ー all of his worries dissipate.

All of his woes disappear.

And of course, the heavy rainfall that he brings forth once he has a heavy heart stops.

Just like now.

"Oh? The rain stopped!" You squealed in excitement.

"Yes, it seems that the hydro dragon heard us." He replied.

The skies cleared to reveal the slight glimmer of light at the crack of dawn.

Looking up, you can still see the full moon.

"Come, let us go back inside and dry ourselves. We still have a few hours of sleep to catch." Neuvillette tells you, guiding you back to your shared home.

"I wonder if the Hydro dragon really heard us. I hope whatever troubles them is resolved soon." You say as he tucks you to bed.

To him, if it's you, then he can get used to your lullaby ー a hushed chanting of his name, one that seeks to comfort his sonder heart.

ー Lolita

[inbarfink]

I mean, I (and others) did predict Fionna coming to the realization that ‘Simon being Ice King again is very very bad actually’ via watching IK’s old tapes - in a thematic reversal of Holly Jolly Secrets…. You know, Finn learned to like Ice King more after learning about Simon Petrikov and who he used to be, Fionna learned to like Simon Petrikov more after really learning about Ice King and who he used to be. 

But the thing that really stuck with me about how the show pulled it off is how… tame that video was. Compared to what the audience knows about how terrible Ice King could get. 

Most of the video Fionna saw was Ice King goofing off, with just the last clip giving her a tiny little taste of how prone he was to fits of anger and extreme misery

She didn’t get to see the videos of Ice King crying for literal hours on end, she didn’t get to see him throw tantrums that make him a legitimate danger for those around him, I don’t think she actually knows he used to kidnap and stalk women on a regular basis - but that’s okay, because she didn’t need to. That tiny little taste of Ice King’s misery and pain was really all she actually needed.

Because it really speaks to how little she actually understood of the Ice King’s situation before. How much seeing that one little clip of him back in “Prismo the Wishmaster'' gave her such a totally wrong impression of what Ice King was like

that just seeing him yell at Gunter and cry once is enough to make her totally reexamine all of her preconceived notions about him.

And it really speaks how despite her sometimes-childish attitude, Fionna really possesses a lot of emotional intelligence. Both in how quickly she correctly gauged that Ice King’s behavior in the last clip was a regular thing for him and probably not even his worst moment and that his anger was yet another expression of his being 'super-sad'

And how clearly her Second Thoughts about the Crown Plan didn’t start when she saw Ice King yell - they started when she saw how despite working so hard on getting himself Cursed again, Simon still couldn’t bear the idea of watching videos of Ice King’s ‘Good Times’.

Because as much as it was important for Fionna to really know Ice King in order to fathom just how terrible the Crown Plan was, it was also equally important for her to really know Simon as well.

When she was so dismissive toward Simon’s plight in the Prismo episode, and when she so eagerly and thoughtlessly jumped on the Crown Plan - she really knew nothing about either facets of his identity. She only got such a quick clip of Ice King actually in a good mood, and all she’s seen of Simon was him at his lowest point - rude, dismissive, screaming at her face, literally considering letting her whole world burn in his own depressive spiral. 

It’s only after they reached Farmworld and officially started to work towards the Crown Plan that Fionna really started to know who Simon Petrikov is when he’s not at rock bottom. That’s when she learned how intelligent

And dorky

And kind

And comforting 

And fatherly 

And a silly little hopeless romantic for his GF

he is. 

And they became real friends and she really grew fond of all of these things about him. So now, watching clips of Ice King… it takes her some time to process it, clearly, but it also bothers her how little of these traits that she likes about her friend and he likes about himself she can see in the crazy old Ice Wizard.

Seeing also how mad and sad he could be was just what clinched the deal for her, the last excuse she could find for why it was okay (“Maybe he really was happier like that?”) gone.

And that also relates to her more general anxieties about the Crown Plan from farther in the same episode.

Now that she’s seen how much being infused Magic changed Simon… It's no wonder she’s so worried about how Magic will change her and Cake and all of her loved ones.

And it’s not a totally unfounded fear. We’re still not exactly sure how bringing Magic back into Simon’s brain will affect Fionnaworld - but it will most likely work the same as it did the other way around? When Fionnaworld first lost its magic? So that will mean not only the people and the world will change physically, but their memories and minds will also be altered as if they always lived in the Magical World and never in the Mundane world Fionna remembers.

And that will kinda make them into different people. Gary Prince and Prince Gumball feel like the most obvious comparison. One is a literal god-king who seems to have at least a bit of the old Bubblegum Hubris problem

The other is just a humble little put-on Barista trying to make it big

Becoming Prince Gumball again would be in some way the ultimate fulfilment of Gary's dream - not just a Pastry Mansion but a whole Candy Kingdom! But... it would also mean giving up on all of the memories and experiences of ever having been Gary Prince. And... it's at least worth considering if it's worth it.

We know that Change doesn't have to be all bad, Cake the Cat will testify to that

I'm sure that from her perspective, having every bit of her memories wiped and replaced is worth it if she can keep her mind and ability to speak.

But Fionna's little Storytime with Simon, I think, really gave Fionna a look to how much his reminiscing is important to him

and really gave her a glimpse to how much people's history and memories effect who they are, and seeing this and seeing what ‘turning into a different and more magical person without your original memories’ did to Simon Petrikov

It’s really no wonder it makes Fionna worried.

[copperbadge]

More on mindfulness and meditation

I feel like perhaps I came across as anti-meditation in that last post I did on it, and there were some folks who were a bit vocal about not liking meditation in the notes, but the notes also had some great and interesting discussion of what can count as mindfulness that isn't traditional meditation and what some alternatives might be, so I wanted to do a follow-up. Especially since I don't think I'm going to get to respond to everyone individually.

The post was not meant to be anti-meditation, but to express frustration with the way meditation frequently is, or rather fails to be, taught. I can understand why people would struggle with "mindfulness" (vastly overused term) and meditation, so I'm not here to argue with or shame anyone, and I really appreciate the alternative suggestions. But because mindfulness can mean so many things, and people can meditate for many different reasons, I wanted to talk a little about why I'm being asked to do it.

It's easy to lose track of why one might try meditation for mental health, because the cause and effect are so temporally dislocated from each other. I try to keep in mind that my specific goal is emotional regulation deriving from increased present-moment attention. Some of the stuff that was suggested is great for a goal other than this, like puzzle games that allow people to empty their racing minds or activity that brings someone back into their body when dissociating -- both extremely laudable functions! -- but that's not why I'm here. Meditation is meant, for me, to be a maintenance medication, not a rescue inhaler.

There is science that suggest that mindfulness practice, under a specific definition of the term, can help to manage emotional dysregulation, ameliorate Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and reduce depression and anxiety. I discuss the science in a slideshow here but essentially this specific form trains the attention into the present moment, which improves executive function -- and as we know, emotional regulation is a facet of executive function, so this leads to better emotional regulation.

There is not a lot of science on it yet so there is room here for yoursamplesizeissmall.jpg, but it's all we've got so I'm running with it. There is one foundational practice and three practices that build on it which effected this change in subjects of the study:

Breathing Meditation doesn't really confer any benefit the others don't, but the others all employ it as a basic practice. We know this can calm the parasympathetic nervous system, although to be honest I have not found that to be the case personally. As soon as I stop the deep breathing I'm right back where I was, likely because my issue is ruminational, not situational. But everything else wants you to breathe first, so I still have to do it.

Body Scan focuses attention on the body and as others have pointed out is good for people prone to dissociation. As I said in the other post, I live here; paying extra attention to my body isn't something I need. I was asked to try it anyway as part of a practice in keeping an open mind about stuff I think is dumb, and clearly I do need practice in that. Still, it's likely I'll be able to let this one go pretty soon.

Loving-Kindness asks you to think positively about others, expanding compassion from a single point outward to the world. I've encountered this before in reading Pema Chodron; I don't do it as meditation, but I do try to practice it in life because I am not naturally a patient or compassionate person, and that has been helpful in the sense that it keeps me from getting punched in the face a bunch. For me there's no real "train the attention to be in the present" aspect on account of that, however.

Observing-Thought is where you just sit with your thoughts, let them arise, sometimes label them in some way, and let them go. I was most interested in this purely because it's the only one I hadn't already encountered. I haven't found it useful so far, but I don't have enough data about it to be definitive, and if it is training executive function I would expect that to take time.

Now, I know that all four of these have science backing them, so I know that we're not just dealing in new-age woo here. The problem is functional, not theoretical. The issue overall is not "meditation is boring" -> "find a way to make it interesting", although I do appreciate that it may be an issue for others and I like that people were offering solutions. The issue for me is that the boredom derives from the fact that the meditation isn't being taught. There's no progressional learning -- there's no step-progress-reward-step-progress-reward like with most difficult skills.

Any task is boring if you aren't deriving any reward from it or you are being expected to execute it without skills or training, and in this case I'm facing down both. Long silences from a meditation leader are fine if you're there to engage with a practice you already have familiarity with, but if you're trying to learn, they are the opposite of helpful, and they are actively punishing to someone with ADHD.

I don't want to be entertained (I mean, generally I do, but in this case I don't expect it). What I want is a pedagogical approach that steps up to the practice rather than beginning with it, so that I know I'm doing it right, I experience rewards along the way similar to how I currently do learning Italian, and I have more confidence that what seems dull and fruitless actually will produce results.

Uh, so yeah thanks for coming to my TEDtalk; the fact that a practice that's especially hard for people with ADHD helps with almost every problem ADHD presents really sucks, and I wish we approached teaching meditation as if it were something you actually did have to learn rather than something you're supposed to Do Until You Get It. In the meantime I guess bumping the speed on the recording isn't the worst thing I could be doing.

[bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon]

What is Toxic Spirituality?

Spirituality is the practice of getting to know yourself better on a deeper level and learning about the world around you.

While this can provide physical, mental, and emotional health benefits, it can also take a turn for the worse. Sometimes spirituality can push harmful messages, toxic positivity, judgment, gaslighting, and cultish behavior.

Nine Toxic Spirituality Habits

1.   Spiritual Bypassing and Toxic Positivity

Spiritual bypassing is when you use spiritual concepts to avoid certain emotions or situations in your life. 

Toxic positivity is when you believe you need to be always positive to gain proper manifestation of your desires.

Suppressing emotions can lead to a buildup of unprocessed thoughts dependent on circumstances, and eventually you will mentally implode.

2.   Spiritual Narcissism

Spiritual narcissism is the belief that your spirituality makes you better than others. It’s the Us vs. Them mentality.  

The stronger your ego identifies with a specific belief the more difficult it will be to see any issues.

3.   Idolizing Spiritual Teachers 

The best teachers are the ones that help connect you to your inner self. Their goal is to act as a guide more so rather than be the ultimate truth. 

The trouble idolizing spiritual mentors is that there will be a point you’re going to disagree, and it will cause cognitive dissonance if you see them for more than they are.

4.   Superstitions and Attachment 

If you heavily rely on spiritual practices, items, and rituals to exist in the world and become solely dependent about superstitious beliefs linked to any of them, you are diminishing yourself.

You don’t need crystals to protect yourself.

You don’t need the wand to draw energy.

You don’t need the cauldron to burn incense or make potions. Although, even I can admit having one makes things more interesting.

5.   Hyper Discipline

I see this a lot. There are those that talk about the importance of discipline in spirituality. Likewise, I see others talk up the importance of flexibility.

Spirituality is a personal experience. If disciplined daily practices or rigid rituals work for you, then great, but if it feels forced reconsider things.

6.   Lack of Discernment

Not every spiritual practice will be right for you. Not everything will resonate. Not every metaphysical concept will ring truth. That’s good. It’s healthy to ask questions and think for yourself.

If you accept without question, you’re allowing yourself to be programmed by external forces becoming conditioned.

7.   Clinging to Truth

What’s true for you may not be true for someone else, and what was true for you last year may no longer be true for you today. 

Our beliefs can change over time as we learn and experience different facets to spirituality. Fighting for the word of truth or standing behind a specific religion promoting acts of war is an act of blasphemy. In that regard, belief and religious culture do not always coincide.

8.   Emotional Hypochondria

It’s possible to become attached to your own healing, making you feel the need to become a better, and better version of yourself.

Always overanalyzing everything will lead to an emotional burnout, and you will be hyper aware of every single feeling.  You will become self-depreciating, and you will be running in a circle like a silly hamster in its wheel going nowhere.

9.   Manic Manifesting

Shut up about manifestation.  I’m tired. It’s everywhere.  Constantly visualizing your desires, parroting affirmations, and trying to control every single frequency makes it feel manic.

Thinking on what you don’t have will make you see less of what you do have, and it is like beating yourself up mentally every day for those things you do not have.

Thinking on it without action is an obsession. The secret was a fun concept for a book, but unless you put it into actual action. There will be no change, Laws of physics, every action has a reaction. Because thinking is more like potential energy, but that still needs an activator. No one is going to miraculously fix things for you. You can do worksheets on what you want every day for the rest of your life, but at the end of your life you will have nothing you want except a pile of worksheets with your hopes and dreams that never happened.        

Diminishing Toxic Spirituality

If you’ve been participating in toxic spirituality, own it and grow from it. Be mindful of your intentions, ask questions, and navigate your experiences.

When something isn’t working you will know it, when you realize that something is wrong, it may have already set you back. When something keeps replaying in your mind, maybe that’s an area to work on. Or delve deeper, but with an analytical mind, rather than one that accepts everything. It’s like eating at a buffet. You can see the chicken is green, you can smell its rancid. But the person with you says it’s good. Are you going to take that at face value and trust them, or make your own choice?

Correct motivations for spirituality, belonging to a group is great. They help people feel connected, and it gives joy to be able to connect. While it is not for everyone, some people see the appeal in it, but as a result can become absorbed into the group and lose their individuality. Their need to be accepted can drive them to poor decision making, at the expense of their autonomy due to peer pressure.

Some go into practice to fuel their ego or have something unique and quirky to talk about. If it’s a fad, it probably isn’t the best idea. If you must run around yelling to your bullies at school, I'm a witch I will curse you. That is likely not the right reason to delve into a spiritual journey. While it may be doing it for your own sense of internal control over an aspect of your life, the journey becomes more about what you have against others, rather than delving within yourself and finding yourself.

Money, Power, Quick fixes. Spirituality and religions offer seemingly quick results with fake promises. Love spells, Churches, Community support. While in theory sounds too good to believe. Often the promises made by various people, groups, and sectors of religion can be very appealing; at times it is used for the profit of the people providing the services.

You would be surprised how many people offer snake oil, or a djinn in a ring for money. To give you all you want. If you are looking for your life to magically be alright, please remember this isn’t a modern fairytale.

Happy endings happen in movies because they can’t fit it all into an 80-minute run. There's character development, there’s ups downs, trials and moments of success and happiness. Without those moments, we don’t really discover who we are. We are more of a hollow once off character in a movie playing a role. We do not find us; we do not create... an Us in such a short time.

It’s best to be yourself, and not part of some collective.

The spiritual journey is yours so do it for yourself.

[gatheringbones]

["In thinking specifically about sexual experiences, and what I have and haven’t experienced with men of the realm I know is possible with women, I run into a vocabulary problem. We barely have words for the most concrete, physical elements of our sexuality, let alone the mental, emotional, and spiritual elements of it.

   One experience I’ve had only with women is associated with fisting, in a context where it went both ways in the relationship. (Non-reciprocal fisting feels different for me, even with women.) At times, this has been much beyond a bodily experience, transcendent perhaps. From a “bottom” perspective, I have sometimes moved through the physical sensations, letting them go, and traveled to another plane of consciousness. From a “top” perspective I have moved through fucking a woman with very conscious care to a place where my body did it, without thought, but closely in tune with her and feeling what she felt. To a certain extent I was also in tune with her on the other dimension, not going with her so much as seeing where she went. Probably some form of transcendent sex is possible with men, but I haven’t experienced it, and I imagine it would be quite different.

   I think some lesbian-specific facets of sexuality are about making love with someone with a body like my own. This allows me to understand what she feels, and to be understood, in a much clearer, more immediate way than is possible in much of heterosexuality. This kind of knowing is particularly strong with women whose sexuality is like my own. There are other, more specific elements. The feelings of being very inside someone, of that kind of openness in a woman lover, and of being enclosed is something I like a lot and don’t have with men. I feel men open to me, but in a different way, and I never really feel enclosed by them.

   Another lesbian-specific feeling has to do with being a woman wanting a woman, and the amazement which stays with me, even when I know she wants me, that she wants me. Subconsciously I think I’m still affected by the social messages that women want men, and therefore, women don’t want me. In a sense it still surprises me when they do. It doesn’t surprise me that men want me. I’ve been conditioned all my life to expect it.

   These are things I feel are fundamentally different with men and women. There is also quite a bit that I think is not necessarily exclusive to one or the other gender, but in practical terms usually is.

   One dimension of sexuality I have explored with men, but not with women, is taking the position of “top” for my own pleasure. I have played with clearly defined sexual roles with women, but as “top” when I have taken a woman, it has always been with a focus on her pleasure, and my own has come secondarily through pleasing her. With men I have sometimes taken a position of absolute control for my own pleasure.

   The most extreme instance was my first sex with a man since I came out. It was an affair at a conference which I began very ambiguously, unsure of whether I could get what I wanted sexually from a man. Once I decided that I wanted him, I also decided that the responsibility for my pleasure was my own. I took him, and I had my pleasure with him. In later discussions with lesbian friends I was asked whether I didn’t think I had “used” him. I feel clearly that I did not. It was something that he wanted and enjoyed, and, though my focus was on my own pleasure, I wasn’t insensitive to him. He was responsive to me, and gave freely what I demanded. He had his pleasure through mine. I can’t really imagine having this kind of sex with a woman, though I’m sure it’s possible, and that women do it. I think it would be a delicate thing, psychologically, but with this man it was easy.

   My experience of role dynamics, in both explicit and unacknowledged forms, is very different, in sex with men and women. I would like to hear from gay men who have started being sexual with women in relation to this. I have also found it very different making love with “straight” women, or women who are accustomed to sex with straight men, and with “lesbians,” or women used to sex with women. And this is not only a question of knowledge or technique, but also of the perspective with which women come to sexuality.

   For the last year I have been sexual a lot, mainly with a man whose sexuality has been shaped by making love with straight women, while mine has been shaped by making love with lesbians. We’ve both changed. Some of these changes are good in our relationship, but some of them don’t work for me.

   Have you ever been with a person of one sex and wanted something impossible with that combination of bodies?]

Karen Klassen, talking about sex, gender, and desire, from bi any other name: bisexual people speak out, edited by Lorraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu, 1991

[crystalsenergy]

Solar placements - areas for Self-improvement 🩶

To remind ourselves that we are in constant evolution and improvement,

and that the beauty of being lies in recognizing ourselves for what we are and for what we can still become.

Sun in Aries - Extremely temperamental, always conveying to others exactly what you're feeling. This, combined with the attribute of being direct, makes you someone who can negatively influence situations and people unnecessarily by not being able to control your instincts and emotions. Accept your traits because their root is important and valid. So, neither reject nor overdo it; always seek balance.

Sun in Taurus - Attachment, material accumulation, and comfort zone, preventing you from seeing things around you that could add more value. You might miss seeing those around you who could need something you have but no longer need (from food to clothing, for example). This attachment also applies to long-held ideas that no longer serve you. Recycle, review.

Sun in Gemini - Inconsistency, recklessness. Lack of restraint can lead to a lack of focus, and long-term lack of focus can lead to accumulated wasted time. Always paying attention to many things but not integrating and learning from them. Direct your mental energy. Spend real time with your thoughts and emotions. Remember that you are a universe of possibilities, open and eager to understand everything, but always work on presence—for yourself and others.

Sun in Cancer - Little attention to the present, much attention to the past. Be aware of how much you might focus on seeing life, yourself, and others based on the past, often subconsciously. Viewing someone’s actions through the internal filter of a past situation, or seeing yourself through past experiences. The key is to embrace your emotions, as your essence already allows for greater openness. Focus on understanding how the past still affects you, reframe, transform, and understand all of this in the most welcoming way possible 🤍.

Sun in Leo - Too much dramatic approach to life, less vision of what things really are. Some Leos sometimes struggle to approach life and their issues realistically and concretely. This is normal to some extent, part of the process. The negative aspect is when this becomes extreme and the only way to deal with life. Imagination and creativity (which ultimately underlie drama, often an exaggeration of creativity and imagination) are important facets, as your essence involves being creative and playful. But be aware of how much you don’t see things as they really are when dealing with life in an overly creative way. You fall into some illusions and imaginations created by your mind, often driven by ego. Work on a state of consciousness. Less emotion, more reason!

Sun in Virgo - Too much repetition, too many patterns, little real adaptation. It's crucial for Virgo to notice this in themselves because when we don’t open up to various ways of seeing and dealing with life, we get stuck, fall into nets, patterns, mental "prisons," and this isn’t good. Before a moment, phase, or situation arises where you will be forced to adapt abruptly, try to reflect as much as you can on your hidden inflexibilities and adaptation difficulties that sometimes appear in small things but can become more intense adaptation difficulties over time, affecting various areas of your life. Handle your internal patterns with kindness and compassion 🤍 no one is born to stagnate! 🤍.

Sun in Libra - Imbalances in giving and receiving (i.e., wanting to give too much, finding it hard to receive). You, Libra, tend to pay a lot of attention to how much you receive because you like a balanced scale and want to see everything fair and equal, giving and receiving in equal measure. This is exemplary; it’s important to notice what we receive to work on gratitude. However, focusing too much on what needs to be done, especially based on what someone has already done for you, can hinder more than move you. This can generate guilt and a feeling of always being "in debt." Therefore, practice receiving without necessarily feeling an obligation to give back. Understand why and what you are receiving, if it is something that is not a gesture of reciprocation from the other for something you have done continuously. Don’t feel guilty for receiving a lot. We all deserve it, in essence.

Sun in Scorpio - Your depth should not be destructive, to yourself or others. Notice how much you really control your emotions as much as you want. The aim is not to provoke control, quite the opposite, but to show that the more you try to control, the less you manage to live well. The result is rarely positive when we go for control, of ourselves, of others. By the natural mechanism of action and reaction, everything we emit returns, so controlling makes you eternally relive this energy in your life. Let go more, as much as you can. Your depth should not be destructive; if you are afraid to show and feel everything you sense about your fears and what you notice in others, deal with this differently, but with less control.

Sun in Sagittarius - Don’t waste your expansive energy on what won’t bring you growth or real expansion. You have immense potential for connection with something greater, growth, extroversion, elevation… but you might be directing this towards quick pleasures, a life seeking meaning (which is very important to you) but rarely finding it in shallow, superficial ways. The tool is important, the means, where you are investing your energy is what will define the outcome. If you want to expand, have real growth and elevation, seek the means that ultimately truly bring this as a result.

Sun in Capricorn - Review paradigms, beliefs, and the vibe of control over those closest to you. Control less (others, life), let go more. Capricorn, you have immense planning potential and the ability to put things into practice, to go out there and do it, bit by bit, build, and then reap. You recognize the value of time, in principle. But often, by living in this 'ready plan' for life, or by believing that everyone needs to follow some paradigm, you may want to impose your way of being, of living, on others, when in the end, it might only apply to you. Moreover, your paradigms and beliefs define your life (and all of ours), so notice what is old and no longer serves you.

Sun in Aquarius - Mental arrogance ("Yes, I already know that"), if constant and combined with a habit of never accepting help, can translate into an ego that does not want to give up "feeling mentally impenetrable." This can keep you from having better exchanges and mentally evolving with beings who could contribute to you. Kindly notice where you might be having these attitudes that are not very healthy for your own evolution 🤍.

Sun in Pisces - Escapism and fleeing from yourself. Seeking other things, circumstances, situations to avoid looking within. Despite Pisces being a sign extremely capable of deep self-perception, you may fear your own depth, especially if this is combined with the fear of acknowledging that you have a lot of energy within you capable of leading you to the profound, unique, sensitive, and vulnerable.

[reasonsforhope]

"While mainstream media increasingly cover violence and legislative attacks against trans people, many scholars and activists worry that focusing just on violence and discrimination fails to capture the full experience of being trans.

Drawing on the success of movements like the Black Joy Project, which uses art to promote Black healing and community-building, trans activists are challenging one-dimensional depictions of their community by highlighting the unique joys of being transgender.

My research on trans parents affirms the reality of trans joy. From 2019 to 2021, I interviewed 54 transgender women — both current and prospective parents — from diverse racial and class backgrounds across the country.

I found that while many have navigated discrimination in their parenting journeys, they also have fulfilling parent-child relationships, often with the support of partners, families of origin and their communities.

Gender euphoria

Scholars and community members use the term gender euphoria to describe a “joyful feeling of rightness in one’s gender/sex.”

It diverges from the diagnosis of gender dysphoria, or a sense of conflict between assigned sex and gender identity typically associated with feelings of distress and discomfort.

Gender euphoria celebrates feeling comfortable with who you are and how you are perceived by the world.

Some people transition with a specific set of goals, while others discover new sources of joy and new facets of their identity over time.

Many of the trans women I interviewed expressed their gender euphoria in relation to their role as mothers. A Black trans woman in her 20s, whom I will call Gloria, experiences joy in being recognized as a mother.

“I love being called Mom. That’s the greatest thing,” she told me. “I love waking up every morning to see [my child’s] beautiful face. It keeps me motivated.” ...

For many trans people, transitioning opens up a new set of possibilities. When I asked Adriana, a trans Latina in her 30s, what it was like to come out as trans, she told me,

“I’ve never been happier. The happiest day of my life was when my daughter was born, and the second happiest day of my life was when I [started transitioning].”

Family and community connections

While some trans people do experience rejection from their families of origin, that is not true for the majority of the community.

In a 2015 national survey of over 27,700 trans adults, the U.S. Trans Survey, 60% of respondents reported having families who are supportive of their trans identity.

Trans women also form chosen families with friends, co-workers and other community members. Relationships with other trans people can have particularly positive effects on identity development and overall well-being, including emotional resilience, self-acceptance and a sense of connection.

Trans community care

In addition to caring for their biological and adopted children, the trans women I interviewed felt a responsibility to take care of their community.

Sometimes this care manifested as parent-child relationships, in which respondents provide financial or emotional support to LGBTQ+ youth.

Maggie, a white woman in her 50s, didn’t know she was a parental figure for her “queer kids” until they tagged her on Instagram to celebrate Mother’s Day.

“Someone might go, ‘Hey, can I stay on your sofa tonight? I’m having a hard time.’ Well, yeah, of course,” she said.

“Or they might hang around the shop [I work at], and only later it dawns on me, ‘Oh, this was the only place they could come and get affirmed and not feel weird.’” ...

Miriam, a white trans woman in her 60s, agreed that she has a lot to learn from younger trans people.

“A lot of my community today, people who I count as family and my beloveds, are not of my generation,” she said. ‘Beloveds’ is the term she uses to describe her platonic loved ones.

“I learn a lot from my beloveds in their 20s and 30s, who don’t have the same baggage I [dealt with] about how I could be and who I could be.”"

-via GoodGoodGood via The Conversation, July 14, 2023

[melliemd]

I worry that some folks watching the show are hunting for reasons to cast Michelle as an irredeemable harpy, because they love Ted (as they should) and want him to have his cake and eat it too-that is, stay in Richmond and bring Henry there.

Yeah, absolutely, the Doctor Jake stuff is AWFUL. My gut reaction was "whoa, Michelle, NOT OKAY" But then I let it sit and looked at the context and obviously Michelle is not some nefarious succubus here. Let's look at the facts.

- Michelle was struggling mentally, and went to therapy.

- Through that therapy, with Doctor Jake, she came to the conclusion that her and Ted should seek couple's counselling.

- Instead of going to a different therapist, they went to this Doctor Jake guy.

-Ted tells us how he felt in that process. That his issues were dismissed. That he was being ganged up upon. Basically, Doctor Jake absolutely failing at his job.

- Ted leaves home to give Michelle space, something they have come to through therapy. A thing we have established was not being done in a professional or equitable manner.

- A year and a half-ish following the divorce, Michelle is dating this therapist. Her therapist. Something no therapist should ever fucking do in a million lifetimes.

So we have a licensed professional with a code of ethics they are supposed to adhere to, and structures they are supposed to work within, who failed to do either. Who, instead of connecting his patient with an unbiased couple's counsellor took the job himself. Who, of course, advocated for his patient…but failed to be an equitable advocate when faced with being Michelle AND Ted's therapist. Who, at some point, developed romantic feelings for his patient, and (sometime following the divorce of his patient FROM HIS OTHER PATIENT to whom he gave couple's counselling to) started to date said patient??

Yeah, absolutely, Michelle is an adult who is responsible for her own choices. However, there's a reason therapy is a profession with a code of ethics. Therapists are in a position of emotional and psychological power over their clients. Violating those ethics, violating that relationship, violating that trust? That is an act of power.

Michelle may be responsible for her choices, but she was also a person in an emotionally and mentally vulnerable place when she first went to Dr. Jake, and he has a professional responsibility for what's happened. There’s a reason that “consent” takes into account things like this. I’m not implying Michelle hasn’t legitimately consented to this relationship, I am just pointing out the balance of power and how it is skewed heavily towards her skeevy therapist.

So let's be realistic about Michelle, who is not a horrid villain based on what we know. Yes, we want Ted happy, we want to protect him from what he's going through emotionally, and it's easy for us to pile that on Michelle-a character we mostly associate with Ted's pain. But she's a person, and this show is so good at showing us people. Making them complex, multi-faceted. Let's focus on the real piece of shit here: the multi-faceted, complex therapist who is a Goofy Dude who absolutely failed in his responsibilities as a mental health professional.

[kateeorg]

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks "Magneto was right" is bullshit? And really dangerous rhetoric to be spreading? I'm not really an X-Men fan, so maybe my opinion is invalid, but... (a venting rant, please ignore unless you are curious, not judgmental)

Look.

It's one thing for Magneto to be right within the universe of X-Men -- any X-Men iteration -- which gives a lot of evidence that the humans of that universe WON'T change and WILL see mutants dead before they are accepted.

Fine. Whatever.

But considering how so many see X-Men as a reflection of real world issues... we're really going this route? We're really saying violence and war is the only option?

Because people WILL map this onto real-world issues that they really shouldn't be. But the real world isn't a comic book. The conflicts are not oversimplified, and the "oppressed" and "oppressors" aren't always as clear as people think. More often, there is real hurt on both sides, and multiple facets the news can't capture.

Sometimes, both sides are violent assholes. And they will hold on to their rightness, to their feelings of being the only "oppressed" ones, to justify horrible things.

And who gets caught in the crossfire? We do. Ordinary people just trying to get by.

And the other thing is, violence and extremism makes for a better story, doesn't it? Better comics, better photos, better news readership. Peace... real peace is hard. It doesn't photograph well, like protest does. It needs to constantly be maintained, constant compromises. It doesn't make for a good movie, does it? Not a superhero movie, anyway. Or TV show.

It requires a maturity that most people? Will never reach.

Including the writers.

So screw your "Magneto was right". Maybe I'm wrong. I probably am! I'm probably letting my emotions about real world events get in the way. I don't like conflict or picking sides by nature, even when it's justified, and some will see that as a weakness of my character. Fine.

But I'm sorry, I just ... I refuse to accept that. Because I worry who is going to use that phrase as a rallying cry in the real world. And who will get hurt as a result because someone decided they "deserved" that.

This is also why I'm frankly not excited to bring the X-Men into the MCU. Because where there are X-Men, irrational hatred must follow, and I just... I don't want to see the MCU devolve into that. It will, of course, the die has been cast, but... I'm sad it came to that, because I'm not sure I trust the MCU writers as things stand to get this right.

In a world of superheroes and flying ships, the thing that takes real imagination is to see a world where peace is possible.

I'm not sure I'll ever have the writing chops to do it myself. But I endeavor to try harder than the X-Men writers clearly ever have.

Actually, I think Wonder Woman said it best: "It's not about deserve. It's about what you believe. And I believe in love."

[cosmics-beings]

Why do you like Skybound? From the little I’ve seen on tumblr, it looks like it’s made Starscream into a heartless, ruthless villain with no emotions and that doesn’t sound like something a Starscream fan would enjoy.

The thing about it is that, I like it because it is Starscream. Starscream is ruthless, he is heartless and he is a villain. Especially to humans. The only thing I don’t really like about Skybound is that, for two seconds, I was terrified he was killed off early but people are saying he might be alive?

I think the interesting thing about Starscream, depending on the iteration or what version of the character you absorb, is that he can be multifaceted. I think that the two Starscream’s we have now are Earthspark and Skybound Starscream. It’s fair to say that Earthspark Starscream is handled with a lot of nuance and respect for what happened to him, which is what I absolutely love and adore. But Starscream is still, at his core, before any form or redemption can ever take place, and awful person. Even Earthspark Starscream was not a good person until the episode dropped.

Skybound Starscream to me at least, isn’t that shocking because that shows us one of the many facets of Starscream he can be. I think that, given the various iterations we’ve had of him, and the franchises lack of actually committing to a type of Starscream, it is easy to mix those versions + fandom interpretation (which imo , does tend to water him down and overly pacify him for many reasons), and in a way, think they should be canon.

But in reality, despite the iterations, Starscream is not supposed to be viewed as a good person. At least, not to begin with. Starscream has always been an extremely violent, ruthless, manipulative and abusive person. Even in Earthspark, or TFP, or Cyberverse, etc. He has always resorted to violence to get what he wants. He mistreats those around him, and those who try to help him whether it be his Trine, Knockout, etc. That’s why I don’t think that Skybound is inaccurate because that’s just who he is. I think as Starscream fans, it’s logical to want a version of Starscream that is nuance and more complex because we have gotten that in the past, even among the violence. And I mean, other characters are allowed to have that.

But I’m also okay accepting that Skybound isn’t that version, and that Skybound is also very canon, and often times forgotten version of Starscream that I think the fanbase sometimes needs to be reminded of. I’ve spoken about this before, but while I am heavily empathetic toward Starscream, especially in like TFP and Earthspark (and IDW), he is still an awful person, and he actually has to change to get sympathy points. And what Skybound is doing is in a way, reminding us of that or leaning into that side of Starscream that is either overlooked by the fandom, or a side we haven’t seen in years.

I am literally all for crazed, violent characters like Starscream, and I do like it. Because I also think that, with all the discourse surrounding his character, it is important to recognize that he isn’t this helpless person who has done no wrong. He is still, at his core until he changes, a violent person. And it is satisfying seeing him be violent but also seeing him be held accountable for it.

Skybound Starscream, like all depictions of him, is realistic. I just don’t think we get the nuance or the sympathetic nature of him, which again is okay. That’s not to say that in the future, we don’t see it. Because I believe we will.  

I am very curious to see how his relationship with Megatron is going to be, and in my mind I hope they have a good/better relationship but I hope they're good to each other, or at least can work together. I really don't want any of them to be redeemed I just want them to be terrible actually and just feed off of that.

[andypantsx3]

omg so this is just an existential ramble, pls feel free to skip past but the topic of "niceness" vs "kindness" is heavy on the mind today!! (take a shot every time i say "nice" or "kind" below lol)

i saw this tiktok about the queer eye drama that is going on right now (which i do not know much about bc i've skipped past most of it). it was about jvn and the basic premise was like "people whose brand is niceness are always doomed to fail" and in some respects i think that is true, because people conflate niceness with kindness, and misunderstand both.

to jank definitions from this huffpost article, "niceness" is "about being polite, civilized and demonstrating high levels of social skills and etiquette", whereas "kindness is a deliberate action of friendliness or care that chooses to see others as if they were connected to you in some meaningful way. it is a choice to practice empathy, connection and generosity to meet the needs of another.”

this is just a personal take but i think people see social performances of "niceness" and sort of like, unthinkingly build up an image in their head of someone as kind or good, when the things they do are nice but not actually indicative of true kindness.

(also let's skip past the "brand" wording for now bc i have a million thoughts on public-facing personas vs like, actual branding, and it all boils down to authenticity i think. but that's for another time.)

to me, people often conflate what i think of as the "aesthetic of niceness" with genuine goodness, and while the actions taken are nice in and of themselves and are usually undertaken with no ulterior motive, they do not actually correlate to true underlying kindness. we can pick apart me as an example, as people have said i am nice and i do try my best to be both nice & kind, but i think the following things are not indicative of how i actually try to be kind!

the "aesthetic of niceness" is a social performance taken at no expense to the person doing it. these are things like sending cute messages to mooties to check up on them (again, done because i like that person, not because i have some ulterior motive lol), being nice to people who are nice to me in my inbox (so easily done, who doesn't want to be nice to people who are being nice to them?), reblogging pictures of soup or bread or whatever lol and telling followers i am wishing u garlic bread, etc. because i genuinely am.

but to me, the real test of someone's kindness comes in at moments where it is hard to be nice. where the world is testing you and you have to grit your teeth and scrabble and claw for some semblance of generosity towards a person who is being unkind to you (and also i would like to distinguish this from boundary setting or from reacting to bigotry bc let's be real bigots sometimes do not deserve kindness, please let them have it).

it is easy to be nice when the world is being nice to you, but it is so fucking hard to give people the benefit of the doubt and react to them with empathy and patience when they are being the hugest shits in the world, whether on purpose or by accident. and i don't think any one person is capable of always, always managing their emotions in situations like that, and that is why i think "niceness" as a facet of your public persona is always going to fail at some point.

i am aware of some people who project niceness but have sent hate anons behind the scenes, or project niceness but have plagiarized some people's fics and feel no remorse for it. and people would be shocked to learn that, because they do not know the difference between being nice & being kind; and/or have never had the opportunity to observe these people behind the scenes to know truly what underlays that niceness.

anyway all of this to say i think that it's nice to be nice and we should continue to do it. but we should understand that niceness is not necessarily indicative of kindness, and that in order to really understand how "kind" a person is, you need to evaluate their actions when shit hits the fan. (but also with generosity of spirit, hopefully, knowing that one failure to be kind in a moment of high stress does not mean they not will be kind in others, etc.)

uhhhh that's all. that was just on the brain this morning. thanks for listening lol.

[amerricanartwork]

I want to say I love reading your headcanons, especially your Iterator ones. Do you have a unique headcanons for Pebbles, since you haven't talked about him much?

Ohhh, I'm so glad to hear that!! I love creating and typing down these headcanons, but sometimes I worry whether anyone actually wants to read these long posts about it, so it's always so nice to hear people appreciate them!

I would love to talk more about Five Pebbles! I actually have quite a few headcanons for him specifically since I tend to ponder him a lot. In fact, of all the canon characters, when it comes to headcanons that aren't purely working out their general personality and backstory I think I currently have more outside headcanons for him than anyone else.

But nonetheless, assuming you mean "unique" as "interesting and relatively uncommon/unheard of in the fandom", here's one of mine that might seem odd or specific, but I really like it!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I’ve headcanoned for at least a few months now that Five Pebbles is very much an auditory learner. He’s more receptive to spoken and auditory information than just written text, and as such he tends to talk a lot, which is how he best formulates his ideas. 

Now, when I call him an auditory learner (or maybe just an audio-oriented person in general would be a better way to describe it), I also mean he generally cares a lot about how things “sound” to him. Five Pebbles pays close attention to how certain sounds “feel” in a sense, not just with regular abstract sounds, but spoken words, phrases, and ideas too. He likes it when sentences flow smoothly, convey the proper emotion or idea, and sound intellectual and well-thought-out, and dislikes when phrases sound clunky, confusing, or otherwise unprofessional and improper. In situations where he wants to appear smart and sophisticated, especially in a competitive sense, he loves flexing his extremely large vocabulary by throwing in long and obscure words and technical jargon too. To reference my last headcanon ask, this trait is another quality making him dislike NSH, who doesn’t care as much about grammar or syntax and thus tends to speak in casual ways Pebbles finds “improper”.

Usually, when he has a decent amount of uninterrupted personal time, Pebbles will spend several hours on end just talking to himself in his chamber to work out his ideas and plan any essays or speeches he’s preparing to give. He loves making sure that every sentence sounds pleasing, proper, and is grammatically correct, yet still explains his ideas thoroughly and accurately. However, despite being an introvert who values his alone time, he sometimes talks about his ideas to other iterators, especially when he wants feedback and criticism. In fact, having long discussions and debates, particularly about scientific, artistic, and philosophical matters, is perhaps one of the only things he actively enjoys doing with other people.

In this latter regard, this habit was actually one of the only reasons he occasionally, yet still actively sought out the presence of Unparalleled Innocence, someone whom I headcanon he never had much of a relationship at all with, positive or negative (at least pre-AU, that is). But nonetheless, Innocence is a very good listener and never declined an invitation to talk with him, though more often than not it turned more into him just rambling about something and her quietly listening and encouraging him to continue on (which she did for… other reasons besides her fascination with the subjects of his speeches, but I will get to those some other day…)

Another facet to this headcanon is that Pebbles has a strong appreciation for music. He finds it helps him calm down and work through his emotions very well, alongside one other habit I’ll address in a more official headcanon post. Thus, he’s got various music pearls with his favorite tunes that he’ll listen to while working or when he needs to relax. The purple one in Rivulet’s campaign is only one of many, though that was also the only one he could obtain at the time his chamber was broken into by the rot. 

His love of music has always been another little “worldly pleasure” that he took for granted, not realizing just how much he enjoyed it until after mass-ascension. And even then, he stuffed it deep inside him and kept trying to downplay its value to him all the way until his rot condition was almost at its climax. This emotional turmoil I imagine him having is a particular element of his character arc I find very interesting even in regular Downpour canon, but once again I will elaborate on it more later…

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Anyway, there's the headcanon! Seeing as I'm planning to explain major character info in official headcanon posts, I tried to choose one that wasn't too essential for narrative comprehension, but is still unique and hopefully decently entertaining in-and-of itself. I also tried to use this to test a new format of doing more sketches for these headcanon posts, so it's not as much pure text.

Anyway, I hope you like it! And if you (or anyone else reading this, for that matter) ever want more headcanons, or can add to this one, don't be afraid to send another ask!