#he values consent and letting others choose to be helped so he always offers with an out

[townofcadence]

Artie baby you are not like that. I have personal experience with someone who treated me like I was broken and told me all the time how they were going to fix me, they would tell me things that were wrong with me and how they would make me better. You are not deciding for anyone or forcing them to do things your way, and don't punish them if they don't. I see you offering but I never seen you force. I am away from that and you remind me of my bestie now. There is a huge difference between what you do and that, trust me 💖

"...I can understand. I'm sorry you were in that position, but I'm glad you're not, anymore. But... thank you."

[chateautae]

maybe i do | kth. I

➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

↳  part of the high-class series!

➵ pairing : taehyung x reader

➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst 

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 11k

➵ warnings : swearing, alcohol consumption, anxiety, lots of feels about marriage, a stupid ex (reader’s), mentions of bad sexual experiences with ex (there’s consent, just bad sex that makes the reader feel shitty), does ceo tae count as a warning? 

➵ a/n: hello my first fic of my favourite trope arranged marriage, AND with kim taehyung?? yes pls !! this will be a series and I’ll be actively working on it so you don’t have to wait too long for chapters, i hope you can follow this series with me <33

chapter one : “my forever’s falling down”  

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“Another one, Father? I thought I told you my secretary would be handling marriage profiles from now on. Stop concerning yourself with who I marry.” 

“But I do, son. Trust me, I know this girl, she’s the daughter of a trusted friend and I think she’s a good match.” 

“Father, everyone you choose for me I dislike and it’s distracting me from my work. I don’t need this right now.” 

“She’s different, Taehyung. I personally know her and I’m certain you won’t say no.” 

“And why is that?” 

“There’s something about her you won’t refuse, son, you’ll notice it when you meet her.” 

“I don’t want to meet her, Father. Like I said, I need to work.” 

“I just knew you’d act this way. Want to know something, son? I’ve made her part of a business deal, you can’t back out of this.”

“What? You made her part of a business deal?! Why would you-”

“Because you wouldn’t have given her a chance otherwise, you haven’t been giving anyone a chance since I’ve been setting up potential partners for you and I’m sick of it. You said you were open to an arranged marriage, where’s that attitude now?”

“Because, Father, I have a company to run and that’s-”

“No. I will not allow you to reduce your life to just this company. There are far more enjoyable things in life than a business.”

“But Father-”

“No, Taehyung. One thing you need to learn is balance. If you don’t give anyone or anything a chance you will live a lonely life behind your desk. Even in this cutthroat world of business where you can lose money or be betrayed by anyone at any moment, the most painful thing to suffer is loneliness, and I won’t let you live in this world alone.”

“Dad-”

“You will meet this girl, Taehyung, end of discussion.” 

“Dad! I told you I want nothing to do with your company, how could you let me get dragged into this?!” 

“Y/N-ie, I know you value the life you have without any of my help, but let me help just this once, especially with finding a husband. I’m being offered the deal of a lifetime and I can’t refuse, he just happens to be part of it. I need this for the company, please.”

“But Dad, I don’t even know him. And if he’s the CEO of some rich company he’s probably an asshole, I’m not doing this.” 

“Y/N-ie, trust me, I know his son. He’s a sincere, hard-working man, I promise.”

“Yeah, right. Even if that’s the case, I still don’t know him, let alone love him, Dad. How can you make me marry someone I don’t love?”

“Because you can learn to love him. There are no rules concerning the way two people should fall in love, love doesn’t always need to come first.”

“But Dad-”

“My daughter, I have not asked you for many things in my life, but this is one thing I must ask of you. Please, just meet him, don’t say no without even trying.”

“Dad, I don’t know-”

“Please, Y.N, do it for me. If not for the company or money, please do it for me.”

And here you were, fidgeting with the tips of your nails, tuning in and out of the present world and overthinking every aspect of your life that somehow lead you to this moment. Sitting on a Leather Italia couch in what was described to be Mr. Kim’s study; listening to your father’s incessant, albeit wholesome chatter next to you with your future in-laws across. 

And next to them was their suave, unreadable son sitting in a relaxed manner, flipping his attention between your fathers’ conversation and anything else in the room.

You on the other hand, were utterly high strung due to the fact that your father failed to mention your future fiancé’s identity until 30 minutes before arriving here, having done a quick search in the car to unveil who he exactly was.

And that’s when it hit you. You weren’t marrying just anyone, you were getting married to Kim Taehyung. The infamous CEO of Kim Enterprises—Korea’s largest software development and manufacturing company, rivaling to be one of the largest in the world. He was part of Seoul’s most prestigious circle of businessmen, having made multiple Forbes international lists of Most Successful, Youngest, Richest, and is even one of Korea’s most eligible bachelors, not just Seoul.

If this wasn’t already taking you out, then it was definitely the fact that his photos through a measly Google search did him absolutely, utterly and completely no justice. They simply could never capture the truth of just how handsome Kim Taehyung was in real life. You couldn’t deny it, he wasn’t just good-looking, he was stunning, gorgeous, seemed as though God had created the universe, heaven and hell in 6 days and left the 7th just to create him. 

He was like a work of art, worthy of being placed in the finest of museums and left untouched, unsodden by the ugliness of humanity. It made you feel extremely inferior to him in an instant. It was sickening, he was sickening, intoxicating, and quite frankly, intimidating.

It was his look, his undivided stare when he eventually settled his sight on you. It didn’t matter his dark hair that landed and perfectly curled above his eyes, the way he occasionally licked his plush lips or how his long, tall legs spread out before him, it was his look that made you want to turn tail and run.  

It seemed to reach into your soul, peer straight through whatever façade, walls or defense mechanisms you could spend years building only to have his simple look tear it down in minutes. He was alluring, captivating, left you wanting to cower into whatever hole you could dig yourself into or discover all the secrets he hid behind those enchanting eyes.

Kim Taehyung was many things you couldn’t quite wrap your head around, though you assessed your priorities and decided they didn’t just include him, but mainly the significance of the current meeting taking place right now. 

It wasn’t a mere one-time business deal to discuss a project, it was a meeting that entailed the partnership of both your family companies and would define the next however many years of your life. More specifically, spending it with the exact same man that looked at you without a single readable expression on his face. 

You distracted yourself by trying to observe as many useless things as you could, flitting around the room many times before suddenly glancing at Taehyung’s index finger coming up to rest against his lips.

You zeroed your vision in more. 

Is that a cut on his finger?

“Jae-in, of course! This is just as important to me as it is to you, your son is a remarkable CEO, and I’m sure he’ll make an amazing husband.” 

“Aish, Namhyun, you flatter me too much. My son may be handsome, though your daughter is even more beautiful. I’m very sure she will make a wonderful wife.”

“Yes, Namhyun, your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Just as gorgeous as her mother. I know she wasn’t able to make it, though may I ask where your wife is tonight?” 

“Ah, unfortunately, she’s out of the country. Though I was hoping my presence would be enough to fill in for her, am I doing a bad job?” 

Laughter erupted from the parents in the room, meanwhile, Taehyung couldn’t help but notice the way you immediately winced at the mention of your mother. Something he definitely wouldn’t miss with the way he found himself examining your every move. 

It was habitual to him, something born out of his roots in business, only for the purpose of calculating and reading people like an open book. 

He knew you’d also become victim to that habit, though oddly enough, he found himself quite interested in observing you. He had already figured you out; you hated business, there was a clear disconnection between yourself and your father’s company and you reeked of a sense of independence that funnily contradicted the antsy way you bounced your leg. 

Your way of speech, however, mannerisms, gestures, your look; it was all professional enough you clearly have some sort of background in business. You seemed like an heiress to Taehyung, which you were, though you oddly had no interest in business?   

All these details piqued his interest, curious of just who you exactly were, but he was mainly intrigued by the mysterious claim his father made upon mentioning you for the first time. 

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

That had raked Taehyung’s brain consistently for the past hour now, crossing his legs loosely and his arms folded over his chest, contemplating over and over again as he looked at you, what’s so damn special about her? 

‘You’ll notice it when you meet her,’ the words rang in his ears.

That was the driving force behind his calculation, observation, near inability to take his eyes off of you as he learned new things nearly every minute and led him closer to understanding his father.  

He could tell you were an anxious person, though hid it behind a persona of false confidence. You had a tendency to stick close to your father despite observing you don’t rely on him for much of anything, even less your mother. The softness behind your every movement despite being from a business background where you should be harsh, rigid, rough around the edges, and yet you seemed entirely different.

Taehyung then realized how inherently dissimilar you were to many of the other women he met. They were all relatively of the same cut and look. Cold, sharp, cunning. All women of pure business; daughters, granddaughters or straight CEOs of wealthy companies, simply interested in marriage as a deal or an advantage rather than a commitment. 

And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taehyung was a man of business himself, married to his work, his home behind a desk and the company the only thought occupying his mind 24/7.

But with you, you were interesting, unlike the others and it made him curious.

Taehyung also couldn’t help but notice you were...pretty. You weren’t too overly sexy nor too innocent, you were pretty. There was an elegance to your looks, features like your hair and eyes complementing you as a whole, and he couldn’t miss that you felt oddly...warm.

Taehyung found himself beginning to understand his father’s original viewpoint, considering the possibility he could’ve been correct. 

You just seemed different. 

“Ah, that seems to be everything. Exact details about the wedding have already been put in place by us.”

“Yes! We’ve been waiting for our TaeTae to get married for so long. We’ve had plans for months now and we can finally move forward with them! You and Y/N don’t need to worry about anything!” 

“Mom, did you really just call me that in front of my future fiancé?” 

“Oh, let it go, son. It won't be long before she calls you that, too!” 

Taehyung could only playfully roll his eyes at his overly excited mother, you scrunching your nose at the embarrassment.

“That’s incredibly generous of you, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, though my conscience is not one to let such things go. My family should contribute to the wedding in some way. Y/N and I would be happy to do so.”

“Why don’t we discuss that outside? I believe we should give the future couple some time alone, shall we?” 

You and Taehyung exchanged a quick look before standing up and respectively addressing either’s parents, Taehyung shutting the door behind them once they exited and having turned to look at you, an awkward silence piercing the air. 

There it was again, his look. It was irrefutably the one reason you avoided eye contact with him, you felt he would swallow you up if you shared even 5 seconds between each other.

“So...” Taehyung suddenly broke the ice, eyeing you.

“So...” 

“Marriage, huh?” 

“Yeah, marriage. Never done that one before.” If there wasn’t a time you vehemently hated yourself, then it was undoubtedly now. You internally facepalmed at your dumb comment, adding a laugh at the end in embarrassment only to look away. 

“Uh..yeah.” Taehyung laughed awkwardly. “Me neither, if you didn’t already know.” He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked away, you fidgeting by the couches everyone previously occupied. 

A beat of silence passed as you both exchanged looks between objects in the room and each other, either of you pursing your lips or blowing light raspberries to cut the awkwardness. 

“I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Hm?” You turned towards him, lips just a pout as your doe-eyes awaited him. 

Taehyung didn’t miss that at all. 

“Um, your mother. I apologize if this is intrusive of me, though I couldn’t help but notice I’ve never actually met her. May I ask where she is?” 

You let out a dry chuckle before answering, another detail that didn’t slip Taehyung’s attention. “Trust me, Taehyung, one thing you’ll never have to worry about during this entire ordeal is my mother. She should be the last thing on your mind.” You assured him with what he could tell was your fakest smile, distracting him from the realization you’d said his name for the first time.

“Are you sure? I’ll be meeting her at the wedding so-”

“You won’t. I don’t think you will. Even if she does make it, it takes very little to impress her, just be yourself and she’ll love you.” You stated with a sense of finality, as though the topic should be dropped. 

“Be myself? I’m one of the best businessmen in Korea. It’s my job to get people to like me, easy stuff.” He casually gloated. 

“You don’t only have to be a businessman to do that,” you paused and looked at him, “you can just be Kim Taehyung, too.” You spoke nonchalantly, eyes lingering with his for longer than 5 seconds and he, in fact, had not swallowed you yet. 

Taehyung instantly furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback as if your suggestion was something outlandish, absurd, maybe even offending.

Nobody has ever said such a thing to him, not throughout the entirety of his life. 

Taehyung tried his best to recover, searching for another topic of conversation before he was cut off by your rather soft voice, he noticed. 

“Oh, I wanted to give you this.” You stepped towards him, reaching into your purse and retrieving something Taehyung couldn’t quite see. You strided over and extended your hand, Taehyung finding himself even more confused.

“A bandage?” 

“Mhm. For the cut on your finger. You should probably clean it and apply something before putting this on.” You stated nonchalantly once again, offering him a small smile whilst holding out the bandage. 

“Uh...” Taehyung started but couldn’t complete his sentence, lost on how you even observed something as small as his cut and spoke of treating it like it was an actual injury.  

After his struggle to form a sentence, you grew bold enough to gently remove his hand from his pocket and place the bandage in his palm, looking back up at him. You shared a momentary look with his chocolate eyes, instantly scrambling after realizing your hand was still in his.

He has really big hands. 

“We should um...probably go.” You avoided his eyes, stepping aside quickly to pull the door open.

Taehyung’s mind felt displaced, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the fact that someone had actually left him with nothing to say, an extremely rare occurrence in his book.

He was even more displaced looking at the measly wrapper in his hand, then at the cut on the side of his finger, playing through the last 5 minutes of what just happened.

He scoffed to himself.

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

It had been 3 weeks since that meeting, not having seen Taehyung once as you wasted your time enjoying single life luxuries before you prepared for one of marriage.

It still felt odd to say such a thing, marriage, because it didn’t even feel like one, or a real one at that. It was forced, fake, a pressured one out of convenience. It felt more like a deal, something Taehyung and yourself had to settle for in order to keep your parents’ minds at ease.

That thought racked your brain all those 3 weeks; Taehyung had to settle for you, he didn’t choose you, just as much as you settled for him and didn’t choose him either. You both had ultimately agreed to the marriage only in an effort to optimize your parents’ happiness, not your own.

You had no clue how he felt, a mystery as much as the Bermuda Triangle, knowing he most certainly had a grand pick of women to choose from and you were most definitely his worst option.

You knew you were suddenly dumped on him, leaving him no choice in the matter as you learned your marriage entailed a beneficial business deal between your fathers’ companies, and Taehyung couldn’t really refuse you with so much on the line.

You had already felt inferior to Taehyung since the moment you met him, though your insecurities seeped further into the crevices of your doubtful mind the more you thought over that sad fact, contemplating a married life with him. In your opinion you were pretty much undesirable to him, Taehyung probably kicking himself knowing he had to unwillingly call you his wife for the rest of his life. 

You just knew you weren’t good enough for him, you would never measure up no matter how hard you’d try and that utterly terrified you. You were confident and independent when it came to yourself, though wedding a near perfect being regarded as one of Seoul’s finest in terms of a CEO and a man? 

Confidence be damned, this dude was intimidating. 

These were the feelings that swarmed your head as you sulked at your over-the-top engagement party, set up in a prestigious buildings’ gorgeous 37th floor riddled with baroque styling and embellishments, classical music gracing some of Seoul’s wealthiest patrons as their flutes clinked and snobby chatter filled the hall. 

It was all extremely high-status, reeking of upper class supremacy and quite frankly, it made you want to throw up.

You distracted yourself by bringing any and all types of alcohol to your lips, trying to focus on anything but your daunting thoughts.

The entire night you hadn’t talked to Taehyung, both of you having been too occupied with the numerous amounts of people meeting and congratulating you. This became a genuine nuisance as you’d mentioned before, this marriage was of convenience, one that brought families and companies together merrily and constituted hundreds of people attending your engagement party you didn’t really know.

Your friends were excited, over-the-moon you bagged a man like Taehyung and chastised you for not having told them about your engagement to him earlier. Your relatives similarly scolded you, pinching your cheeks and praising Taehyung like he was a God while they scrunched their noses at you for concealing him.

How could I tell you when I didn’t even know myself?, you thought.

It was funny they praised your ‘choice’ of a fiancé, positive nobody was saying the same to Taehyung without at least lying. The public only knew of you as your father’s daughter, never having seen you due to your vehement absence from anything remotely related to his company, and much of the business world in general. 

You weren’t part of that world, a world of greed and money-driven lunatics. It just wasn't you. It never suited you, left you with a bad taste in your mouth you constantly grimaced at and thought maybe you were the insane one for not understanding its flavour. As you grew older, however, you came to realize it simply wasn’t the path meant for you, someone who valued the independence and achievement of earning something for yourself, by yourself.

Ever since the inception of that principal, your young teenage self resolved you didn’t want to rely on your father’s wealth, especially not his influence or power to achieve your own place in life.

Your father had worked determinedly hard for years in order to stand as high he does now, warranting your acute admiration for your role model of a father, his now successful architecture business landing him a few buildings part of the Seoul skyline.

And after finally achieving his dream, it suddenly morphed into your own aspiration. His hard work drove you to want your own design part of Seoul’s breathtaking scenery as well, by means of your own effort, your own hard work. You didn’t want your father’s help. It felt wrong, like you were cheating if you used him to gain your place and so you condemned your life to one that separated yours and his. 

So you lived, worked and earned money without any of his influence.

You worked for an average architecture company where you felt comfortable, happy that you were away from the suffocating high-status business of your family. And although your detachment left your identity a mystery to many, your situation on the other hand was an extremely infamous one.

‘The-runaway-heiress’, was your staple trademark. The judgmental comments about your choice of life and the insults it warranted were never-ending, subjected to that criticism all your life.

There was no doubt Taehyung was hearing all of that, people probably warning him to step out of the marriage before it was too late. You weren’t like Taehyung, who was perfect, desirable, someone everyone either wanted or wanted to be. It left you glad and quite frankly, proud to be wedding a man of such caliber and incredibility, though left you wondering why in God’s name he would ever agree to marry someone like you; average, average and well, average.

“That’s your 5th shot, Y/N, slow the fuck down.” Your best friend Hana’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, snatching the shot glass from your grasp. “It wouldn’t be cool if you were trashed at your own party, dummy.” 

Her sudden appearance brought a smile to your face. “I know, I just don’t feel well.” You sighed by the counter of the bar, seated atop a stool as you circled an empty shot glass mindlessly. 

“I get you, there’s like, hundreds of people here and you’re probably hearing a lot of different shit.” Hana appealed to you, having read your emotions like an open book. “Speaking of people, I wanted to ask, what’s up with Taehyung and his stare?”

You stifled a snort, looking at Hana’s incredulous face. “It’s just a habit of his. He stares at everyone.”

“Okay... sure, but I didn’t mean everyone, I meant you.” Hana emphasized, comically pointing.

You furrowed your eyebrows at her, arm leaning against the bar’s counter as you questioned, “What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t really stop staring at you, which is kinda weird. Unless you like that, I don’t judge people’s kinks.” Hana mockingly held her hands up in surrender, gauging a reaction out of you. 

You instantly grimaced, “It’s not a kink, Hana. Nice joke by the way, wanna sign up for SNL with that one?”

“I’m serious! I’ve been catching him just looking at you and I don’t know if it’s weird or hot.” Hana informed as you became more puzzled, her becoming oddly excited, “Awh, maybe he’s concerned with how much you keep drinking! That’s so romantic.” She chimed, looking off into the distance dreamily.

“Shut the fuck up, he wouldn’t do that.” You smacked her arm, snatching your shot glass back from her. “Besides, you’re one of the rare people who knows this marriage is fake, you know he doesn’t care.”

“Jheez, way to kill romance?” Hana rolled her eyes, smacking your arm in rebuttal before continuing. “I’m serious, though. This may be fake but he really does keep looking at you, and I don’t know what it means.” Hana speculated, contorting her lips as if in thought.

“It means nothing, Hana. You’re just seeing things.”

“Then why has he been staring at you depressed by the bar for the last half an hour?”

You nearly spit out your drink, “What?”

“Are you clueless or just dumb? He’s been talking to someone for 30 minutes but most of the time he’s been looking at you, and he still is, how haven’t you noticed?”

You creased your eyebrows in surprise as you slowly lowered your shot glass. You turned away from Hana to scan the small crowds of people mingling, eating, drinking in the hall.

You searched the room, drink still in hand until your eyes caught tall, dark and handsome in his finely pressed suit, casually standing with a drink in his hand by a table speaking to someone. You nearly jumped when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, every cell in your body caught off guard.

What made your heart specifically race was the way he didn’t even look away from you. He held your gaze, casually conversing with the person in front of him, eyeing you until he finally cracked a small smirk before turning back to his companion.

Your eyebrows practically shot up to the sky.

“See, weird or hot? Am I even allowed to say hot?” Hana blurted as she reveled in your reaction. “And you really thought I was joking. You don’t believe anything I say, I could tell you the world’s ending and you wouldn’t believe me. I could tell you aliens finally invaded the planet and you wouldn’t believe me until the green motherfuckers knocked on your door themselves and-”

“Hana, shut the fuck up.” You cut her off abruptly and made a face at her. “Why did you even come here?”

“Grumpy, aren’t we?” She flashed you a sarcastic look before sighing. “Your dad wanted me to find you. You and Taehyung have to meet someone important, so you should stop drinking like an alcoholic, dumbass.” Hana informed hastily as she grabbed the shot glass from you and downed it herself.

“Your dad’s by the entrance, go before he gets mad!” She shooed you away, pushing you up until you whisper-yelled and smacked at her to let you go. 

You began stepping towards the entrance, smoothing over your dress and this was the moment you realized you may have drank a little too much. You were quick to reprimand yourself, cursing your unprofessional behavior as your inner equilibrium became slightly woozy, senses drowning out a bit, every sound hazed over with a buzz in your veins.

You sucked in a breath to pull yourself together, knowing your dad valued this person enough you and Taehyung had to meet them together. 

Taehyung.

You decided to glance in his direction, lips pursing seeing he wasn’t in his previous spot. You chose to ignore it, walking along until you felt a looming presence behind you, almost having time to acknowledge it before a hand suddenly touched the small of your back. 

“Looking for me?”

You nearly squealed, jumping with a hand ready to punish before calming down at the sight of Taehyung, sighing with relief. “Jheez, could you use my name? I thought you were a stranger.” 

“Well, hello to you too.” Taehyung quipped sarcastically. “And why would a stranger touch your back? Of course it’d be the only man in this room marrying you.” Taehyung narrowly eyed you, scrutinizing your reaction with his hand still pressed to you.

“People do a lot of whatever the hell they want, Taehyung.” You responded turning away from him, heels clacking as you continued to pace towards where your father stood. “W-why’d you do that, anyway?” 

Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows. “Because we’re engaged?”

“It’s not real, though.”

“It’s as real as it gets.” Taehyung finalized, making it a statement to smile at everyone you passed, to which you realized just how many pairs of eyes glued themselves to you. “This may not feel like a real marriage to us, but to the rest of the world it is.” 

He then suddenly leaned himself down to your height and lowered his tone, breath just ghosting your ear. “Y/N, we have to make this seem real, it’s the only way we’ll survive.” Taehyung was the closest he’s ever been to you, and the deep baritone of his voice as he called your name did absolutely nothing but manifest butterflies in your chest. 

Why was his voice so deep?

You shook the thought out of your head, ultimately choosing not to say anything because he was in fact, correct. You grinned widely continuing to mask the truth of your arrangements, leaning into him more as you settled for his hand on your back.

You’d noticed it before, but his hand felt particularly large against you now that he was so close. You glanced at his other hand resting by his side, impressed by how masculine they appeared; long fingers with running veins and a roughness to them, sculpted so well you were sure they deserved to be referred to as art. It tickled your giddy side for a second when they seemed to perfectly contrast your more feminine and smaller hands. 

It was kinda cute. 

You neglected your thoughts once you neared your father, warm-heartedly conversing with a well-dressed man you just about recognized. 

“Ah, there you both are!” Your father cheered, reaching out his arm so he could envelop you in a side-hug, returning Taehyung’s bow and addressment.  

“Dad, I heard you wanted us to meet someone?” You perked up in a superficial tone, at least attempting to act as though everything was fine and dandy in your life; maybe owing it to the alcohol to endure all the falsehoods.

“Yes, Y/N-ie, I wanted you to meet Mr. Won. Chang-in, my lovely daughter and whom I guess you already know, her fiancé and CEO of Kim Enterprises, Kim Taehyung.” Your father proudly presented you both.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Won, Kim Taehyung.” Taehyung was the first to address the man, extending his hand and bowing as he greeted him. You were almost taken aback by how polite he could be, the way his charming smile graced his features and attractively displayed his perfect teeth. His manner of speech and etiquette were all refined with a high degree of professionalism as well, internally gawking at his duality.  

Wasn’t he acting all entitled with you just now? 

“Nice to meet you as well!” You collected yourself and cheered, a little baffled as to why Taehyung still rested his hand against your back. “I’m hoping my father has only said good things.” You earned a laugh from the group, Mr. Won responding by receiving your hand with a firm shake. 

“Ah, Namhyun, you forgot to mention how beautiful your daughter has grown, and your future son-in-law has me jealous! What a handsome and accomplished young man, the perfect match, the two of them.” Mr. Won praised you both kindly.

You and Taehyung both smiled and thanked him humbly, feeling some heat collect in your cheeks upon Mr. Won’s words. You two? The perfect match? Unless he believes a rock and a Greek statue belong together, then he’s absolutely correct. 

Other than that, you chest swarms with butterflies thinking you’re now referred to as ‘two’. 

Taehyung for some odd reason encircles the curve of your waist suddenly, pulling you closer to him. You last minute sputter at the intimate action before leaning into him, one arm nervously encasing his torso as the other rests against his chest. 

You feel him tense underneath you. 

“Aish, you’re such a flatterer. Y/N-ie, do you remember Mr. Won? My friend from university? You haven’t seen him in a while.” Your father rested a hand on your shoulder, trying to jog your memory. 

“Oh, you mean Mr. Won from SNU?” You suddenly remembered, looking to your father for confirmation. 

“Yes, so you do remember!” 

“Of course I do, how could I forget!” You smiled brightly and returned your gaze to the familiar man. “Mr. Won used to sneak me ice cream when you wouldn’t let me have any, Dad.” You scolded him with a playful jab to his arm, inviting more laughter. “I apologize for not recognizing you right away, it’s been a long time, Mr. Won, forgive me.” You solemnly apologized, Mr. Won giving you a look of understanding. 

“Ah, forget it, Y/N. Don’t worry about it, although since it’s been a long time I hope you remember my son? He should be here somewhere..” Mr. Won trailed as his eyes fished over the grand hall, scanning around. 

“Your son..” You repeated to yourself, realizing there was a familiar connection itching at your mind, he was your age actually-

Wait. 

Oh God, not him. 

Anything but him. 

You felt raw panic seep into the spaces between your ribs, your chest filling with a constricting feeling of anxiety you couldn't shake off. Your heart picked up speed and the alcohol coursing through your veins didn’t help your judgement or memory at all, mind fogged over with the poison we dare call alcohol.  

You felt stupid, so utterly stupid. How could you forget Mr. Won and who his Godforsaken son was? 

You felt an anxiety attack riddling you, shifting your weight on your feet as you tried to bite back your uneven breathing. You just couldn’t see this man, especially in a situation where you were standing next to your husband-to-be. 

Taehyung wasn’t so invested in the conversation before him, mindlessly nodding along before he felt you physically freeze next to him, his glance to the side confirming your pale look, watching as your panicked eyes faltered to the floor and revealed... fear? 

He registered your odd shifting and your failed attempts at plastering a smile, confused if you knew this guy and if you did, why were you freaking out so much?

Were you in love with him or something? 

The thought minutely bugged him until he watched you turn straight up uncomfortable, horrified when Mr. Won called out his son’s name. 

“Kiseok-ah! Come here!” 

You stopped breathing when you heard the name, eyes going wide as you avoided eye contact with anyone in the group, but caught Taehyung’s undivided attention. He grew curious when Kiseok sauntered over to the group, your hand on his chest suddenly squeezing his suit as the mysterious man greeted everyone respectfully.

Taehyung watched as his intrigued eyes locked on you, eyebrows perking up amusedly as his lips curved into a smile Taehyung honestly couldn’t admit to liking. 

“Y/N? Wow, long time no see. It’s been what, a year?” The man Kiseok called out happily, like there was absolutely no problem occurring here but as Taehyung felt your hand clutch onto his suit, lips just about quivering before you forced a smile, he knew there was most certainly a problem. 

“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, small, and Taehyung found himself wondering how a courageous person like you was all of a sudden cowering. 

He’d heard it all night, all the accounts of your other life away from the business world. He wasn’t going to lie, he heard a multitude of opinions concerning you, many of which including either looking down on you or telling Taehyung there’s many other, more powerful women in business he could’ve been marrying instead. 

But Taehyung didn’t care for their opinions, he found you the most powerful woman he could ever marry, and agreed to do so because of that very prospect. Sure, you were estranged from the business scene and practically abandoned any role you’d play in your father’s company in order to pursue your own personal aspirations, but if anything, Taehyung found it highly commendable. 

Taehyung knew it took guts to do what you did, a bold and daring act that no other heir or future heir of a wealthy company could ever think of doing, including himself. 

What he found to appreciate most was your unwillingness to give in, where you had to have heard all the back-handed and snobby comments, yet you still held your head up high, remained rooted and adamant in keeping your current way of life. It instantly signaled to him you were courageous, fearless, unable to be stopped in your tracks.

So when he watched you become smaller and smaller the more you stood in the vicinity of this Kiseok, he knew something was sincerely wrong. 

“Ah yes, it’s been quite some time. Why don’t we step away from you three? You could do some catching up.” Your father urged as he motioned Mr. Won to step away with him. You lightly addressed them only to have your hands neglect Taehyung entirely and start fidgeting, attempting to calm your nerves as the alcohol inebriated your system and magnified your anxiety by tenfold. 

“Ah, yes, Kim Taehyung, CEO of Kim Enterprises. I’ve been meaning to meet you.” Kiseok extended his hand as his voice irked you with every syllable, trying your best to seem like absolutely nothing was wrong. 

Taehyung reached out his hand in response uneagerly, giving a small shake while wondering why you let him go. “That’s news to me, nice to meet you.” Taehyung responded, already feeling an intense aura of discomfort and tension between you both, sensing he was missing out on something that seemed 6 ft deep. 

“Likewise. Y/N..” Kiseok suddenly turned towards you, making you wince. You painted on your smile as you lifted your vision. “Kiseok.” 

“How’ve you been?” 

“Better than ever. You?” 

“Marvelous, just wondering what your life’s looked like since I haven’t been in it.”

“I believe I said better than ever, didn’t I?”

Kiseok scoffed unamused, “So a year, huh? In all that time you suddenly found yourself a fiancé, and Kim Taehyung at that?” Kiseok seemed to be making light-hearted conversation to anyone outside of your group, though you knew deep down the hostility behind his words.

“Yeah, I did. It just happened.” You shrugged, gaining the confidence to counter him. “And you? Plan on putting a ring on any of your girls? Maybe the 5th or 7th one you liked?” You sarcastically questioned, furrowing your brows in mock contemplation. 

“No, you know I’ve always had my eye on one girl when it came to marriage.” Kiseok eyed you knowingly, purposefully, like he was trying to make it obvious.

You snorted and glared at him, “If I remember correctly, your attitude said otherwise.” hatred began boiling under your skin. You felt yourself growing angrier by the second, memories between you two coming back in flashes. You didn’t even realize you were shaking until Taehyung’s hand suddenly entangled with yours, pulling you towards him almost defensively. 

You were surprised, looking at your connected hands and back up at Taehyung. He returned your look, peering down at you as he smiled warmly, affectionately. 

“I’m sorry, Kisook? Was it? My future wife and I have plans for tonight. May you excuse us?” Taehyung didn’t even let Kiseok respond before he was pulling you away, in complete shock at his first lack of manners you’d ever seen. You were only left to watch Taehyung as he lead you along, gaining the timely opportunity to realize he was taller than Kiseok, and in fact significantly taller than you. 

Taehyung was a large man in general, you noticed. His shoulders looked broad from behind, accentuated by the fit of his suit which also emphasized the expanse of his chest, tastefully exposing his sculpted neck. His legs were long, proportioned perfectly in accordance with the rest of his model-like figure, which was ideally fit and contained just the right amount of muscle. 

Dear God, you took your time with this one. 

You didn’t even realize Taehyung had pulled you into a secluded hallway or that you were ogling him when he suddenly stopped, turning in your direction and snapping you out of a near fever dream. 

Yeah, alcohol was not a good idea tonight. 

“Who the fuck was that?” 

“What?”

“That douche, who was that?” Taehyung inquired slightly pissed, in need of the asshole’s identity after watching whatever shitshow he didn’t pay for. 

“Nobody, Taehyung, he shouldn’t concern you.” You looked away from him, pouting in a way that made Taehyung momentarily notice the plush of your lips. 

Again?, was all he could think, first, your mother, and now this guy? Just how many people did you have bad connections with and he needed to ignore? 

Why were there so many intricate pieces to you? 

“Are you kidding me? He concerns me now, your mother I can understand but this guy? Nothing to me. I could step on him.” Taehyung proclaimed confidently and stood up broader, conviction written all over his face.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his remark, resembling the thought you had earlier. “I was just thinking, you’re a lot taller than him.” 

Taehyung couldn’t help but bite back a smile, watching you giggle like a shy high schooler and his ears gladly welcomed the soft sound. “Damn straight I am.” He adjusted the jacket of his suit suavely. It was then he remembered what his other hand was doing; still holding yours. 

His eyes suddenly gleamed with mischief. 

He squeezed your hand a little tighter and yanked you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crashed into him, all up in each other’s personal space.

Your eyes widened in complete surprise. 

 “So you were thinking about me, huh?” Taehyung teased with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face. 

You ignored the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneering at him. “Shut up, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see you’re taller.” You forced space between you two and tried snatching your hand from him, but his grip transformed into an iron lock. 

“Says the one who was thinking about me.” 

“Taehyung, shut-” You almost huffed out but as soon as you stepped away, your copious consumption of alcohol suddenly attacked you all at once, vertigo making you lose your balance until Taehyung reached out to steady you. 

“Jheez, did you have to drink tonight?” Taehyung chastised you as you fell into him, head spinning with disorientation and growing flimsier by the second. “You’re probably a lightweight at your size.”

“I am not a lightweight. You don’t even know how much I drank, it was a lot.” You bit back in rebuttal, hooking onto his taut forearms as he supported you. 

“But I did see.” He voiced barely above a whisper, causing you to snap your vision up at him incredulously. “What?” 

“Nothing, it shouldn’t concern you.” Taehyung mocked, though still tried to fix you onto your own footing.  

You didn’t even get to scrutinize him further when you felt another round of dizziness plague you, balance faltering again. Taehyung huffed out and finally flanked you on his side, arm encasing your shoulders as he adjusted you. “Okay Miss I’m-Not-A-Lightweight, you should eat something.” He fit you beside him, beginning to walk you towards the main hall. 

Taehyung in this moment didn’t understand what he was doing, utterly clueless as to what was fueling his actions. He was uncertain why he found himself.. caring? He didn’t even know you, yet he couldn’t help but become a little concerned when he watched you down drinks like it was New Year’s Eve. 

How can all that alcohol fit into one tiny person?

What was he even thinking when he dragged you away from that Kisuk guy? Why did he feel like protecting you all of a sudden? A near sense of possessiveness? He wasn’t even your real husband. 

It started giving Taehyung a headache. This was all strange, a foreign concept he wasn’t familiar with and he didn’t know if it was the result of his considerate personality or only manifested solely because of you.

The same way Taehyung dealt with his inner turmoil, you dealt with yours; you were always so adamant on independence though ironically found yourself leaning on Taehyung.

Oddly, you let him carefully guide you back into the hall with no protests. 

It was the day of the wedding. 

You wish you could recall your emotions throughout the day, certain there would be at least a sliver of a positive one. Though as you remained unmoving, nearly catatonic, unresponsive to your surroundings, you knew there wouldn’t be a single happy memory in the tsunami of sorrow that attacked you today. 

Emotions of grief plagued consistently as you realized the loss of everything you valued most in your life. Your happiness, your freedom, your ability to choose. The stripping of all those bundled into an stifling wad in your chest that left you in a perpetual state of wanting to cry.

The sting in your heart when you realized your mother didn’t bother to come, the excruciating smile you forced onto your features when Taehyung’s mother delicately placed the veil atop your head, the secret tears you shed after adorning your body with a wedding dress you didn’t even choose; it all left you internalizing feelings of utter agony. 

And none of it was your real choice. 

Even the flowers at the wedding weren’t your favourite. 

This day was horrifying. You couldn’t believe you prided yourself on your independence, refusing to give in despite numerous challenges and never taking a word of what anyone said to you. Even when someone begged you to change or come back to your old life, you always chose for yourself. You never allowed someone to push you around, seldom coerced into anything solely based on the wishes of another. 

Yet here you were, standing just before the grand doors of a wedding you never asked for, having easily followed every word of your father’s and sacrificed your deepest principles in order to make him happy, to appease and live up to his expectations that weren’t your own. 

It was utterly frightening, appalling. As if you had lost the one true commendable feature of the intricate character you were, suddenly lost the acclamation of others even if they didn’t know the true nature of your marriage. 

But what disgusted you the most was truly, that you had lost respect for yourself. 

These grim thoughts were the ones that attached themselves to you as you hesitantly hooked your arm with your father’s. You used every ounce of strength to not flee, to remain here, to still walk down that isle with your head held high like you always have despite abandoning every foundation of the character you’d spent years working on.  

You didn’t care that your eyes watered, masking them with the facade of happy tears from the blushing bride. You didn’t care when your father looked incredibly concerned and wondered what was so wrong, you didn’t care how sorrowful you may have appeared to anyone at this ironically glamorous event. 

Though what you did care for was that you couldn’t hold your head up as you walked down the isle, vision fixated on the ground as your tears betrayed you, spilling out at the traumatizing feeling of not being able to stand tall like you always did, something stripping you of your self-reassurance, your strength, your confidence.  

It all spelled the requiem of your soul as you reached the end, dwelling in the impossibility this was happening to you until you felt the touch of Taehyung’s fingertips, guiding you up the stairs. It was then confirmed to you this was in fact real, part of your new reality you had no choice but to accept. 

You suddenly felt eternal gratitude for the veil that now covered your face, hiding the tears you cried at mourning the loss of everything you worked for.

While the priest’s words were read, you didn’t exchange a single look with Taehyung, knowing you’d only want to evaporate into the air, to run away at light speed or have someone in a turn-of-events suddenly take your life, just so you didn't have to face the humility of giving up the life you’d spent blood, sweat and tears building if you looked him in the eye. 

You felt the weight of your unknown future crushing you, pushing you towards the precipice as you gripped Taehyung’s hands harder to ground yourself. 

You were to rely on Taehyung, to share a bond with him you had never spent time cultivating, expected to live a life next to him while never being able to truly understand him, know him, love him. The natural process of falling in love now tainted with the coercion of a pressurized marriage, losing the opportunity to achieve any true sense of love. You’d never experience finding the one anymore, your soulmate, the other end of your red string of fate. 

That realization made your tears spill harder, disconnecting your hand from Taehyung’s to prevent your choked sobs becoming audible, holding your palm against your quivering lips. 

To anyone beyond you and Taehyung, it would look as though you were crying tears of happiness, joyously weeping at your matrimony with the love of your life, though as Taehyung felt the shaking of your hands, your refusal to meet his gaze as you reluctantly walked down the isle, the agonizing pain he could see through the sheer of your veil, he knew you were far from happy. 

He couldn’t help but purse his lips together tightly, knowing you were probably swallowing insurmountable torment down your throat because of this marriage, and tears pricked at his own eyes finding himself able to relate. 

He wasn’t just upset for you or himself, it was the entire situation, quite frankly the fucking world. The fact that the universe planned this as your destiny, his destiny, that the happiness of your parents and two companies came at the expense of both yours and his.

He knew you didn’t hate him, that he wasn’t the reason just as much as you weren’t the reason either, it was the arbitrary nature of the arrangement. That whatever version of true love and happily ever after you and Taehyung had separately dreamed of, it could never come to life. 

Even if the company meant everything to Taehyung, his CEO position more important than whatever position he’d play as some husband, seldom having time to consider love and relationships, he still harboured the same wants and desires any human would. A partner, a companion he truly loved with whom he’d start a family eventually, create a life for them and himself defined by love and comfort.

Though Taehyung only knew now you would both die with your decision-making capabilities robbed of you, bound to each other forcibly without the ardor of real love. 

Taehyung’s every thought was proven correct when the two of you exchanged your vows in near strangled chokes and shaky tones, appearing as happy emotions to the guests of the wedding though only you two knowledgeable of each other’s suffering. 

Your vision finally met Taehyung’s once you heard the rawness in his voice, your miserable emotions doubling when you registered he was just in the same pain as you. It was in that moment the priest’s words became audible and rang loud in both your ears, suddenly grounding you two to earth and reminding you of your reality. 

“You may kiss the bride.”

Both of your eyes grievously locked for a moment of horrified realization; that you were seconds away from going through with this, throwing each other’s lives away for the utilitarian benefit, abandoning any sense of choice in whom you both would spend a lifetime with.

Taehyung swallowed thickly as he removed your veil, feeling his eyes fill with tears again when he laid them upon your utterly devastated, tear-stained face. You were using every nerve in your body to stop yourself from sobbing and caving into the ominous thought of fleeing the ceremony.  

Taehyung’s sight wondered to your lips as they still quivered, nearly swollen red at the intensity in which you bit them, awaiting the kiss you were certain would be filled with frustration and hatred, hatred for the mud you were dragging him through, hatred for pressuring him into suddenly valuing something more than his work and his company, to suddenly become a husband to you. 

Though as he watched the terror flashing through your eyes, tears watering your lash line, he knew he could never feel anything so ardently negative towards you, remembering exactly what he was stripping you of. 

The life you built on your own, defying any and everyone’s expectations of yourself, cursing your heir status to hell, your strength, your independence. Now? Your life was bound to his, bound to one where you were obliged to sacrifice yourself for your father’s company and the upper class cesspool you’d spent so long trying to run away from. 

So as Taehyung began closing the gap between you two, nearing your shaking figure, he resolved he wouldn’t make this hard. He would try, try to accept that his life now entailed you, would try to work towards the balance his father insisted he needed, try to understand that you were now part of his priorities and could never simply ignore you.  

He glided his thumbs against the back of your hands that held his pacifyingly, leaning down until he was just inches from your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. He unexpectedly spoke quietly, meaningfully, seconds away from sealing the deal of an uncertain future, though, remained certain of this one thing. 

“I’ll take care of you, Y/N, I promise.” And he kissed you in a single breath, no haste, no pressure, only the gentle touch of his lips as they met yours, soft and light. 

Maybe Taehyung didn’t know the exact feelings behind his promise, but he knew the meaning; that no matter the arrangement, the non-existent feelings, the loss of choice, he would at least take care of you like any husband would, a good husband.  

He at least owed you that.  

You were left shocked at the nature of his kiss, Taehyung’s warm lips connecting with yours tenderly. You were convinced the tears you saw in his eyes were enough to assert he hated this, frustrated he had to sell his soul, wishing to only rush the kiss so he could call it a day and ignore you for the rest of his life. 

Though what you never expected was the promise he made, or the way he kissed you with such intimacy you found yourself melting into his touch, reciprocating. He kissed you like you were fragile, locking your lips in a way that solidified his promise, as if out of all the empty vows you spoke today, this was the one, true vow he would keep. His lips felt plush against yours, catching his mouth just a little more before the bittersweet disconnection. 

You and Taehyung exchanged a poignant look, small smiles decorating both your faces with a mutual understanding swimming in your eyes as you gripped each other’s hands. You let his promise permeate the air between you two, finding solace in his words as the applause of everyone attending the ceremony filled the hall.   

Maybe it was the warm way Taehyung always pressed his hand to the small of your back when you spoke to others the whole night, maybe the way he veered you away from excessive amounts of alcohol with a light-hearted scolding considering that last time you drank, or maybe even the way he gently held you during your first dance..

Maybe it was all these considerate, kinds act that made you view Taehyung in a less negative light and rather a favourable one, that maybe he wouldn’t be the asshole CEO you’d first accused him of being.  

You would also be an idiot to not mention how completely and utterly handsome he was, looks carved by the Greeks themselves, quite possibly the hottest, most attractive man you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. 

And maybe all that accumulated into your assured opinion that when it came to consummating your marriage with Taehyung, you’d have no qualms or worries whatsoever. You would be absolutely willing, ready to take the night on and maybe even have some fun for yourself with whom you could tell was a really, really nice guy.

Though as Taehyung walked calmly in front of you towards your hotel suite, reaching into his suit pocket for the card key he’d retrieved at the front desk to swipe against the lock, your chest clogged with a crushing feeling of anxiety you couldn’t subdue. 

These weren’t the same nerves of maybe being not pretty enough, body insecurities or fear of what to expect from Taehyung, no, these nerves came from the utter panic of having to experience sex with another man.

Especially since your last partner. 

It always started with your permission, that wasn’t the issue, Though what left you afraid, so utterly frightened with the thought of spending a night with a man like this came from the treatment you received from that partner. 

Safe to say, you weren’t treated kindly. Far from that, actually, you were treated as though you had no needs or were a means of simple use. Your last partner was the opposite of giving, he was selfish, self-absorbed and only concerned himself with his own pleasure, going on and on only until he was satisfied and neglected you in every sense of the word, sometimes even refusing to listen to you if you protested. 

To make matters worse, he wasn’t faithful. 

You knew he slept around, a lot, it was the number one reason you never agreed to actually date him, never make things official. 

But the reason you would end up sleeping with him was because of the most perfectly imperfect concept among the human race; love. You believed every time with him was a new chance to make that love real, that it was the genuine manifestation of your feelings for one another, thinking maybe he wasn’t the asshole he always portrayed himself as and could man up enough to love you unconditionally. 

And he completely reeled you in, made you fall in love too quickly and made you believe he was capable of love. This grew exponentially when you were often described as ‘the different one’, the one he always came back to, that you were special. You clung onto those words as much as you could, convinced each time you were in fact the one for him, that maybe one day, he’d wake up and abandon his fuckboy lifestyle and mature.

But everyday that went by, every promise that was never fulfilled, every word that wasn’t met with an action, and especially after every hook up that resulted in nothing new, you began to understand you were everyone’s favourite role in a Shakespearean play. 

The fool. 

You were a joke to believe anything he said, the most naive person on earth to think you were any different from the others, when every night simply ended in rough fucks, virtually no orgasm and miniscule aftercare.

It left you essentially scarred, traumatized that every man in the world was built like this. It didn’t help that whenever you look back, many of your ex partners were of the same cut, the same trope of assholes that don’t seem as bad but end up being exactly so. 

It was what made you swallow thickly as Taehyung opened the door to the suite, holding it open as he moved aside to let you enter first. You walked forward and unintentionally brushed against him, realizing how much smaller you were in comparison to him all over again. 

He towered over you, and it made you more nervous. 

You looked up at him momentarily and quietly thanked him as you stepped inside, setting your sights on the large, king sized bed situated on one side of the room, a lounging area with couches to the other side which lead to a bathroom. Seoul’s breathtaking skyline was visible in the dark of the night through wall-to-ceiling windows opposite to you, covered by flowy, sheer curtains. 

You took a deep breath, trying to remind yourself Taehyung was not the same. Not all men are the same, you can’t inflict the mistakes and wrongdoings of one man onto another, categorize them into one kind. You wanted to think this way, and you knew it was the humane way to think. 

But as the memories of those heart-aching nights filled your head, the empty words, the lack of care or concern, the neglect, the feelings of pure abandonment and use only caused your heart to beat profusely in your chest, clutching onto the neckline of your dress to breathe. 

What if Taehyung really was no different?

It then suddenly hit you you didn’t know him. All you knew of Taehyung was that he was a fiercely successful business man, sitting atop Seoul’s most prestigious with Godly looks and a stare that could kill a man. You remembered your initial feelings about him; his stare in fact intimidated you, quite frankly all of him intimidated you, he was the epitome of perfection and you were far from that very notion. It left you thinking you didn’t measure up, and that he could view you in a dissimilar light than you viewed him; an unfavorable one. 

He could simply not want you, but is forced to.  

You’d observed his kind behavior and actions over the odd two days you met him, though that was exactly the inculpatory factor; you had only met him twice. You didn’t know what he would be like alone, when it was just the two of you, when there weren’t eyes scrutinizing him and cameras snapping shots of his every move. 

You didn’t know how he would be like in the bedroom, either. 

Your mind raced as you conflicted with yourself, trying to understand that Taehyung could be different, though apprehensive with the miniscule knowledge you actually had of him. 

You discerned after that last asshole of a partner you needed the love and care of a real partner, someone who would tend to your needs, adore you in the midst of their actions, be a giver and not just a receiver.  

And you didn’t know if Taehyung would be that partner. 

“Y/N...” Taehyung called out to you rather softly as he removed his suit jacket, the rustling of the cloth signaling he had indeed done so. His footsteps were hard to miss, the soles of his shoes sounding against the hardwood floor as he neared your lonesome figure standing in the middle of the room. 

Your breathing quickened with nearly every step he took, attempting to resolve the civil war you were battling within. You were trying to convince yourself Taehyung would be a nice man, a nice husband; though couldn’t help but feel deflated by the fact it was all mainly coerced out of him.

Your thoughts overwhelmed you as Taehyung finally stood behind you, mere inches from your back as he watched you from behind, unbeknownst of any feelings or thoughts currently riddling you.

He hesitated, though gently placed his hand against your bare arm, the sudden warmth of his hand against your skin causing you to flinch. He peered down at your smaller self squarely focusing in front of you, anticipating your response. He grew slightly soft when you tentatively looked over your shoulders, clearly teary-eyed. 

Taehyung couldn’t miss how scared you seemed, and he his heart inexplicably stung at the thought you were afraid of him. 

“We don’t have to do this.” Taehyung’s voice was low and resembled warm honey, reverberating in a way that made you ease up. 

You worked towards a stable voice. “W-we don’t?” 

“No, we don’t” His voice held no disappointment, only the intention of seemingly wanting to assure you, firm and oddly comforting. 

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry.” It was hard to keep your tone leveled, clutching your hand over your mouth as you swallowed your emotions. 

“Don’t be sorry, there’s nothing for you to apologize for.” 

You strangely felt the desire to hold his hand that rested against you, though you ignored the urge and simply stepped out of his touch, clutching your chest tightly in an effort to cower away from him. But it was here you suddenly remembered that he kissed you, and the way he did so. 

It made your cheeks fill with a rosy blush. 

“Do you mean that?” You’d finally turned to meet his eyes, his face only visible by the moonlight illuminating the room. He seemed to have retracted his hand and stood with both tucked in his pockets, relaxed. 

This became the first time you noticed just how ravishing he looked tonight. 

His dark hair was slicked back loosely and left enough pieces to fall as a comma, graciously exposing his forehead, his Tom Ford suit attractively hugged his model-like body, watch and accessories accentuating his expensive look. 

His features were casted over by soft lighting, somehow adding to his beauty as the glow made him appear... less intimidating, dare you say warm or inviting. 

His expression was funnily enough, one that you could actually read. He held no contempt, no impatience or anger, only a hint of consideration as his calm eyes looked at you. His face may have been predominantly blank, void of a smile, though certainty held a form of reassurance.  

“Of course I do, why would I do anything with an unwilling person?”

You scoffed lightly, “Not a lot of people would say that.” Your eyes faltered from Taehyung’s and clutched yourself tighter, expression completely telling of trauma.

Taehyung instantly picked up on it, eyebrows slightly furrowing at your words though softening once registering their weight. He felt an overwhelming sense of apology take him, thinking of his next sentence before his mind oddly flashed back to the night of the engagement party.

“Y/N, did Kiseok..?” Taehyung trailed hesitantly. 

You winced at his line of thinking, “No, no...not what you’re thinking,” you immediately denied. “Just, shitty experiences.”

“Shitty, as in...?”

“As in only seeking self-satisfaction, neglect, lies, infidelity. Can we go to sleep?” You deflected with a heavy sigh and a hand at your temple, the day’s events catching up to you.

Taehyung nodded in agreement, “Yeah, sleep. We both need that.” His eyes then landed on the bed, registering even if it were large enough you two could sleep apart, he still opted for caution. 

“Um.. you can take the bed, by the way. I’ll sleep on the couch-”

“No, don’t do that.” You replied quickly. “I can’t sleep on a king-sized bed all by myself, it’s huge.” You side-eyed the massive mattress and laughed a little, lightening the heavy aura casted over the room. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomf-”

“Don’t worry, Taehyung. You don’t make me feel uncomfortable.” You smiled at him lightly and received a small one from him, both your eyes mirroring the same sense of understanding you exchanged at the altar. 

“I’ll let you wash up first, your overnight bag should be in the bathroom closet.” Taehyung informed, pointing towards the direction of your things. 

“Thank you.” You voiced with an amount of warmth that made Taehyung want to genuinely smile, though crushed the weird urge and nodded agreeably instead.

You began walking away from him until a nuisance suddenly occurred to you, cursing yourself as you came to a full stop. “Um, Taehyung.. I forgot but could you..?” You angled your back towards him to call out to the ribbons tying the back of your dress, knowing you would’ve taken 20 years just to untie your bodice yourself. 

The fact that you weren’t looking directly at Taehyung made him feel relieved, glad he wouldn’t embarrass himself with the his eyes slightly widened. He was quick to reprimand himself, it’s just a woman’s dress, why the hell are you shocked? 

Taehyung swallowed dryly before replying, “Uh, yeah I’ll--I’ll do that.” He walked towards you sparingly and positioned himself behind you.

He’d noticed it before, but you were relatively small compared to him in size and it continued to poke at his brain, maybe even momentarily think it was cute. 

Cute? When have I ever found a girl cute?

Taehyung exhaled before his hands carefully made for the silk ribbons, his tentative fingers fiddling with the ties until he eventually began loosening each one. He started unlooping your bodice, breathing out considerably when each loop began exposing your back inch by inch.  

Taehyung’s sweet, hot breath fanned your skin, tensing each time as your every nerve went haywire feeling just how close he was. His slender fingers brushed against your bare skin here and there, making heat collect in your face.

You grew even hotter when your kiss with him suddenly crept back into your mind, unknowing of the reason why excitement and electricity shot throughout your body because of it. The way his soft, full lips met yours, mouthed at you tastefully repeated in your head, making you extremely nervous at how much a measly kiss from him was occupying your mind; it was just a kiss. 

Taehyung found himself tensing by the intimacy of the moment, remembering the way he so boldly kissed you. He found that he liked the plush of your lips, the way he had to bend down to your smaller height to lock lips; and it made him feel strange. 

How the hell was he taking interest in something other than his work? No, this isn’t interest, Taehyung thought, and would spend however long denying it. 

He’d finished the task throughout all his thinking, unrealizing of how proximal he was to you. He oddly hated that the moment was over, coming back down to Earth.

“There you go.” He cleared his voice and stepped away from you. 

You held your bodice up against your chest, realizing Taehyung had a full-access view of your back and you grew 10x hotter. You gulped at the thought before hastily turning around to thank him, quickly disappearing into the bathroom for a moment of reprieve. 

You shut the door and instantly breathed out a breath you didn’t remember holding, looking at your hot mess of a face in the mirror trying to cool down, reliving the last 10 minutes of what just happened. 

You took a deep breath. 

Maybe Taehyung is different after all. 

prev. ↞ || ↠ next  || masterlist

[contorted-curruptions]

*~Hello, Rabbit~*~Yandere Mirio X Tamaki.~*~Part 2~*

Note: Hello, Hello, Manic post Monday, barely made it to post this but here is the second part of The Naga God Mirio X Elven Priest Tamaki. I know I said smut in this one but once more I got carried away with this story so smut is 100% in the next one, this part is very much a cock tease but enjoy it anyway this will be the Segway into the smut. I’mma try to get the next part out tomorrow hope you all enjoy~ <3

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Warning: Contains Yandere behaviors, and Dubious consent/Non consent themes, mentions of sex, there will be many more warnings and mentions when the smut comes out.  

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Mirio just got back from his time outdoors and he slithers further into the cave, Tamaki Lazily looks from his current position to Mirio who seems to be carrying quite a number of bags on him, bags that most definitely not his. Tamaki wonders if those are offerings from the villagers but they aren’t normally brought in bags so he doubts that is the case, it leaves him curious, more so than he usually is.

“You wouldn’t believe what I saw today rabbit~”

Mirio chirps and moves around the cave he places the few bags that he doesn’t recognize by the wall in the cave close by to where he is currently, Tamaki’s focus is on those bags. He stares at them and continues to question their existence.

“I saw a bunch of campers out. You know they’ve been there quite a while. I’ve been watching them and haha they were really active you know?”

Tamaki for a moment raises from his place on the pelts, his gaze moves to Mirio curious about where this story is going. Tamaki wonders if those campers are okay? Did Mirio hurt them? Are those their bags? So many questions. Despite being in this situation Tamaki still cares about those around him, other people. His dream before this was to become like his mother a kind-hearted priest who helped heal the sick and helped to protect the village. A person will welcome those who need a place to stay somewhere to call home. It’s Odd for Tamaki to have such a dream when he struggles with people and for a while, Tamaki felt too weak to protect the village but it had been Mirio who made him feel like he could be more than a weak little Elf. Even now with Mirio keeping him captive those values still didn’t die and he still wished for that dream to be true. Tamaki is still just as caring after all.

“Oh wow, a reaction. It’s been too long since you’ve moved much at all rabbit. Guess this story is interesting to you, so I’ll keep going, maybe I can even make you smile again~”

Mirio chirps as he slithers over to Tamaki who merely stares at him without a word, still giving him that curious and slightly untrusting look, however, he does nod in response to what Mirio said. that is the only response that Mirio gets from him which is enough to have him continue his story.

“Anyway what I mean by active is going at it like rabbits in the woods, haha, it seemed like they came out here to have fun and get frisky.”

Tamaki hearing this looks away and blushes, he curls up into himself a bit and hides behind his bangs which get pushed to the side by Mirio’s large hands. Mirio’s thumbs brush the skin on his face and he laughs before pinching his cheeks.

“Aw, did that fluster you Tama-chan? Come on your a rabbit too, shouldn’t come as a surprise that people were having fun like that, nothing to get shy over but I’ll admit that I love seeing you flustered. Those are really cute reactions so I’ll keep going to maybe see more from you rabbit~”

Tamaki tries to not look Mirio in the eyes, though he can’t help but glance at him and Mirio looks happier than he has in weeks of course this is the first time in those said weeks Tamaki has offered much of a reaction let alone this much movement. Usually, Tamaki just lays there staring at the cave’s ceiling only moving to eat and use the restroom. Mirio moves to wrap around Tamaki after moving to get some water for him from the flask, he hands it to Tamaki and he takes it drinking it down. Tamaki had learned long ago resisting when Mirio tries to take care of him is a stupid thing to do for Mirio will force him to accept his care and affection no matter what sometimes if he doesn’t he can get hurt when Mirio punishes him and he doesn’t want to deal with that, Mirio doesn’t punish him the conventional ways all the time which is with a bit of pain, Mirio had found that sometimes that isn’t enough Tamaki will put up with that and still act out but threats against his village do wonders for Tamaki’s attitude at times.

“Anyway I guess they weren’t just there to get frisky but that is what they had been doing, they were a traveling theater group, music, drinking, and costumes among many other things. I got to watch a few practices of theirs, you should have seen it. Was really fun.”

Tamaki listens to his story closely and wonders where it’s going, what is the point of this story, were they okay? Tamaki brings the flask away from his lips and stares at Mirio before speaking up.

“A-are they o-okay?”

Tamaki stutters out in a tone conveying concern, it has Mirio raise a brow before laughing and patting Tamaki on the head before giving him a lovely little nuzzle rubbing their noses together.

“Yeah, they are fine, I didn’t kill them if that’s what you were wondering rabbit. They just got scared. Those bags are theirs. The left in such a hurry, poor things haha. But I couldn’t have them getting too close and finding you...besides they had things I wanted.”

With those words at certain points Mirio’s voice dips to something more sinister-sounding which sent shivers up Tamaki’s spine, he isn’t sure if Mirio is telling the truth that the travelers are okay. Tamaki still feels a worry for those people who can possibly still have been killed just to get those bags Mirio had been carrying.

“I’m glad to hear you speaking again rabbit, I missed your voice. It hurts when you don’t talk to me, but of course, I try not to force you because I love you Tama-chan. Either way, those campers got me thinking. I want to try something with you~”

After saying thing Mirio gets closer to Tamaki’s face cupping it in his hand and move to kiss him so suddenly, Tamaki’s eyes widen, and his breath hitches, Mirio has been forceful with his cuddling before but never once has he so far forced a kiss on him and yet not he was doing this. Tamaki feels a blush spreading across his cheeks as his eyes flutter closed as he lets out a small moan into the kiss. He moves his hands to Mirio’s chest and lightly presses against it. Soon enough Mirio is pulling apart with a love-struck expression on his face, not only that but a look of lust that flustered Tamaki, and the blush on his face only got worse.

“M-Mirio…”

He stutters out frozen there staring at him in pure shock he doesn’t know how to feel right now, they have never kissed before not until now and it has his heart pounding a million miles a minute Mirio simple smiles and pats his head moving it right behind his ear to give a small scratch which had him let out a small moan of pleasure his ears and being pet around them, they are sensitive and they do well to fluster him even further.

“My sweet little rabbit, I want to make you mine, you’d like that wouldn’t you? I’m sure you must be just as pent up as I have been Tama-chan, if not more so. After all, rabbits are prone to near-constant breeding, how about I breed you, Tamaki?”

Mirio purrs out before kissing Tamaki’s cheek and then giving it a small lick, this had Tamaki whine, he was so flustered he was shaking in his place but he can feel himself throb unwillingly at his words, no he didn’t want this, not now, not after everything. Tamaki would push him away and fall backward out of his tail which had been loosely wrapped around him, now he lay there sprawled out with his legs slightly spread and his hands behind him which he had used to catch himself. Tamaki pants a blush on his face that spread all the way to his pointed ears and tears welling up in his eyes as he shakes his head no.

“M-Mirio, no, I- I- I’m not r-ready for that, p-please…”

Tamaki whimpers out as he starts to scoot back a bit, he scoots a good bit away before curling up in a ball and clutching himself, he sniffles as tears start to stream down his pale cheeks, he buries his face in his knees and refuses to look at Mirio who at this time is wearing a small frown from this rejection. Mirio isn’t sure why his rabbit had pushed him away but he takes a moment to think about it now and once he comes up with the answer that frown is once more replaced by a smile.

“It’s okay Tamaki, there’s no need to be so shy. I’ll be gentle, it’s your first time after all. I wouldn’t want to break my rabbit, I love you too much to do that you know.”

Mirio says as he moves closer to Tamaki again, he wraps his arms around his shoulders before nuzzling into the back of his neck and inhaling his scent, Tamaki’s scent is the most breathtaking scent to him. Tamaki’s scent always calms him down and even excites him sometimes even now it was exciting him. Mirio wants nothing more than to claim his mate at the moment, Tamaki, who he sees as his one and only. While on the other hand, Tamaki is much less certain about how he feels about Mirio. Tamaki sits there letting Mirio give him the affection he is choosing to give to him however he shakes there like a leaf nervous and feeling terrified about what Mirio will do.

“M-Mirio, p-please…”

Tamaki whimpers out before peeking up at him with teary eyes, Mirio would smile at him and pull Tamaki’s face up. Mirio licks at the tears falling from his face and lets out a small purr and groan at the taste of Tamaki’s tears on his tongue.

“Your tears taste good rabbit, I wonder what else from you tastes good~?”

Mirio smirks at him before giving him a kiss on the nose, he moves away from Tamaki and starts to slither over to the bags that he had gotten from the campers, he brought them over and sat them on the pelts before opening one of them. Mirio digs through the bag seeming to be deep in thought.

“I know I threw it in here, hold on, rabbit, I have a surprise for us.”

Mirio says as he roots through the bag all the while Tamaki sits there curling in on himself once more not bothering to look up, his mind is racing about how scared he is, how he doesn’t want to do this, but he doubts he can do much about it. Mirio has his mindset about it and usually, there isn’t much to detur him once he sets his mind to something. Tamaki knows this all too well.

“Ah-ha!! Got it, look, look rabbit. I saw them using these things when getting frisky and I knew I had to have them for you. I’m pretty sure they’ll fit. Don’t worry I cleaned everything in these bags Tama-chan, I don’t want you getting sick from deceased rabbits out there.”

Mirio smiles and he’s holding up a very special two pieces of lingerie, they were bunny-themed. The top is back with pink frills along the top and bottom, there is a keyhole on the chest in the shape of a rabbit, and at the top of the chest of that piece has pink strings similar to bikini strings to hold it up. The bottoms of the set are also black with pink frills held together with pink strings, on the front are bunny ears sticking up from piece and on the back attached to the butt of the bottoms is a black fluffy bunny tail. Tamaki at first is refusing to look at what Mirio is holding up but when he feels Mirio’s tail wrap around his ankle and tighten he finally raises his head to look and blushes a deep red at the lingerie in his hands. Tamaki uncurls a bit and raises his hands to his lips, his eyes are darting all over the place. Of course, as they do he sees a few more things that were also pulled from the bags which is a headband with realistic-looking black rabbit ears sticking straight up. There are a pair of thigh-high stockings that have little paw pads on the feet, they are back and the paws are pink. There is a pink heart lock collar with matching wrist cuffs, they look like they can attach to one another. In addition, there are also matching ankle cuffs as well all look like they can attach. The more he looks around the pelts the more horrified he becomes, another tail sat there attached is a fairly large butt plug, there along with a small metal rod with a few bumps and groves along the length of it. There is even a leash to attach to the collar.

“M-mirio, what i-is all this…?”

Tamaki asks even if he is fairly certain to the answer to it, these are the things that Mirio will be using on him today, all of them things Tamaki had no experience with. Whoever the campers were they had been very kinky and apparently given Mirio plenty of ideas he wants to try now.

“This is for our playtime rabbit, now come on strip down for me and change, I wanna see you in this, I bet you’ll look ssssuuuupppppeeerrr cute~”

Mirio laughs before giving the thumbs up along with a positive wink before shoving the lingerie at Tamaki and then also pushing over the rabbit ears to him. Tamaki sat there frozen for a long while just staring at the items and then at Mirio. Tamaki bits his lip and fidgets out of nervousness, Tamaki uncurls and picks up the lingerie in his hands and swallows hard that blush making him feel so warm right now and he swears he can almost feel his head spinning at all this. Tamaki stares over the set before once more looking at Mirio.

“D-Do I have to M-Mi-sama, I-I’m scared, I-I’ve never done th-”

Tamaki says this using Mi-Sama the cute nickname that Mirio really seems to like to hear from him, he hopes that the nickname will make Mirio reconsider his choice to have Tamaki go through with all of this right now but he’s met with Mirio placing a finger to his lips to quiet him.

“You’ll be okay Tama-chan, you’re my good rabbit and I know this is scary. It’s your first time after all, but I promise that I’ll make you feel really swell.”

Mirio says this and moves his finger to give him a gentle kiss on the lips before kissing his head. After that Mirio takes both hands and starts to scratch behind his ears, he coos at Tamaki and nuzzles him a moment. All these affections causing Tamaki’s head to swirl and he can’t help but nuzzle back letting out another small moan of pleasure at his petting hands behind his ears it felt so good and makes his cock throb slightly which flusters him and makes him close his eyes, part of him knows he doesn’t want this but Mirio being so kind to him, being the only one who touches him at all anymore, it compels him to listen to him. Tamaki does still loves Mirio or at least he thinks so. Tamaki’s eyes flutter open to look into Mirio’s bright blue pools which seem so inviting and that warm smile makes his heart flutter.

“M-mirio-sama…”

He says as Mirio pauses his affectionate scratching behind his ears, Tamaki’s mind feels like it’s floating, he almost doesn’t feel himself, like it’s not even him here in this moment anymore. It’s almost like he’s someone else, his eyes lightly glossy. Mirio moves forward and kisses him once more before letting out a small giggle.

“See all better now rabbit, now can you do what master Mirio asked of you my little rabbit?”

Mirio says as he moves away from Tamaki giving him room to do what he needs to do for him, Tamaki calms down a moment with a shaky breath. That blush doesn’t seem to leave his cheeks, he fidgets a bit more contemplating what he wants to do. Tamaki is still very uncertain, he knows he doesn’t want to but Mirio’s sweet words and kindness are making him melt. Besides does he really have a choice? His heart pounds in his chest and he raises a hand to it, he can feel the pounding against his palm. Tamaki takes another breath before giving a small yet still uncertain nod to Mirio. 

“That’s my good rabbit, Master’s good boy. I’m going to turn around, rabbit, and you get changed, I wanna be surprised when I see you all dressed up for me, my sweet boy.” 

Mirio once more moves forward and scratches behind his ears a moment before cooing again at him, it makes him groan and bite his lip at the action. Tamaki’s eyes shut and he can feel his body reacting to Mirio’s affection, though he would whine when Mirio stops his touching and pulls away once more giving him a tiny pat on the head while smiling before finally turning around like he said he would. Tamaki sits there a minute and stares at the lingerie once more, he takes in a deep breath before he completely uncurls his gets up on his knees, and starts to disrobe. Tamaki slowly takes off his top first he can feel the breeze coming in from above and from the entrance of the cave but it’s warm and soothing to him. From there he takes off his bottoms, soon he is left in only his tighter brief shorts. Tamaki stares down at himself a moment before finally reluctantly taking off his bottoms leaving him in nothing, his average-sized cock on full display and ever so slightly beginning to rise up but not entirely. He feels ashamed that his body even if just a little bit is reacting this way to something he doesn’t want, or maybe he does want it? Maybe Mirio is right and he’s just being shy like always. He just isn’t sure. After the thought, he begins to change into the lingerie slowly but surely getting it on tying what he needs too and moving everything into place, the idea of wearing this was partly causing him to feel arousal the embarrassment of the situation turning him on and he almost hates it. He put on everything he thinks Mirio wants him in. the lingerie, the stockings, and the rabbit ears. He has yet to put on the collar and cuffs and is not sure if mirio wants to put those on himself or not. He doesn’t know if he should ask either.

“M-Mirio u-um...I-”

Tamaki stutters out only to earn a small hum from Mirio as he turns around to see what Tamaki needs from him and what he sees takes his breath away, even if he was kneeling and he couldn’t see the outfit in its full glory what he is seeing is turning him on, not that Tamaki needs to dress up to turn him on but god damn if this didn’t have the cocks in his slit throbbing and threatening to poke out from his slit. Mirio slithers over quickly and picks Tamaki up and he yelps loudly at the sudden action. Mirio places Tamaki up on his feet and slithers back hands-on Tamaki’s shoulders looking him up and down. 

“Oh darn Rabbit, you look so appetizing, I really could eat you up like this~”

[love-sapphirerose]

Naruto: 10 Worst Things About Sasuke And Sakura's Relationship

By the time of Boruto, Sasuke and Sakura are a loving married couple, but their checkered history included some troubling low points.

BY HANNAH GRIMES

Sakura harbors a crush on Sasuke before the two of them even graduate from the Academy and end up on the same team. He's always at the forefront of her thoughts and actions, and the two of them do end up getting married and starting a family of their own in the end. On paper, their romance seems relatively dreamlike.

However, that's not the full story of the ups and downs of their relationship. Sasuke initially doesn't care enough to give Sakura the time of day, and there are even multiple instances where he seems indifferent to her life being in danger — or actively endangers it himself. Sakura's unhealthy obsession with Sasuke also stunts her growth in other ways.

10. Even After Starting A Family, Sasuke Is A Largely Absent Father Who Can't Connect With His Daughter

There's a long period of time between the original series and Shippuden where Sasuke is absent after he turned his back on the Leaf to instead seek revenge. He eventually does come back and start a life with Sakura, but even then he's absent most of the time.

While this is due to being sent out on missions and he doesn't have much of a choice, he fails to properly connect with his daughter Sarada when he does get to spend time with her. He's so bad on this front that he actually ends up getting scolded by his old squad leader, Kakashi.

9. Sakura Ignores Naruto And Treats Him Like Garbage Because Of Her Initial Infatuation

It's one thing to have a crush on someone and to value their opinion more than anyone else's. It's another thing when this infatuation causes someone to treat others around them poorly, especially when their crush doesn't even want to give them the time of day.

In the beginning, Naruto continually makes efforts to connect with Sakura and get to know her better. She not only brushes him off but straight-up calls him annoying and tells him to get lost, simply because he's not the object of her romantic affection, instead of making any attempt to bond with her teammate.

8. Sakura Appears Blind To Much Of Sasuke's Suffering, Instead Focusing On Her Own Feelings

Sakura values Sasuke above everything else in her life, and this remains true even after he defects from the Leaf. Despite this, though, it oftentimes feels as if she doesn't consider his feelings and struggles and is instead remains much more focused on her own.

In the beginning, she doesn't consider his feelings regarding his murdered family when talking down on Naruto, saying he's so undisciplined because he doesn't have parental guidance. She's also quick to say she'll help Sasuke with his path of revenge when he goes to leave the village despite this being an incredibly destructive and harmful path.

7. Sakura Throws Away Her Best Friend For Sasuke When He Doesn't Care At All About Her

Back when Sakura was much younger, she completely lacked self-confidence and was a consistent target of bullying from other girls. It's Ino who stepped in, got the bullies to back off, and showed Sakura that she shouldn't hide her insecurities and instead have more confidence in herself.

Sakura then decides to throw away their friendship simply because she hears that Ino also has a crush on Sasuke. She says it's for the sake of them becoming rivals, but they both would've been much stronger if they worked together rather than letting a guy split them apart, especially a guy who doesn't care for either of them.

6. For A Long Time, Sasuke Shows No Interest In Her While Both Naruto And Rock Lee Do

Sakura stays completely devoted to Sasuke even though he betrays no romantic interest in her whatsoever. This might make sense if there were no one else who cared for Sakura and wanted her to be happy, but both Naruto and Rock Lee care immensely for her.

Lee goes as far as to risk his own life for Sakura's sake in the Forest of Death, and the two of them bond when Sakura goes to Lee's hospital room nearly every day to spend time with him after the tournament. Naruto consistently offers to spend time with Sakura and gives her positive attention, and she instead chooses to yearn after Sasuke, who's totally caught up with his curse mark and revenge business.

5. Sakura States She Has No Interests Or Hobbies That Don't Involve Sasuke

During the initial introduction that Kakashi has everyone participate in, the members of the newly-formed Team 7 all go around stating a bit about themselves. Sasuke focuses on his future revenge, and though Naruto mostly talks about ramen, he at least also states his dream of becoming Hokage.

Sakura, on the other hand, states that all of her likes and hobbies have to do with Sasuke. Because of this, she also declares that the thing she hates is Naruto. This is incredibly immature, and it's not a good foundation for any relationship if one's entire world revolves around the person they like and they don't have anything else to bring them happiness.

4. They Don't Put Equal Effort Into Their Relationship After Getting Married

Sakura essentially gives up on her life as a shinobi in order to raise her and Sasuke's daughter while he's away. He's gone for so long on missions that Sakura admits that the main reason she keeps so many pictures of Sasuke is so she doesn't forget what he looks like, which is heartbreaking.

Sasuke, on the other hand, doesn't make any effort to stop by and see his family while he's away for years at a time. He could at least send letters to get updates on how their daughter is doing — something he should care deeply about — but he never does.

3. Sakura Plots To Steal A Kiss From Sasuke When He Has No Interest In Her

After graduation, on the day when the teams are made up, Sakura asks Sasuke if she can sit by him. He completely and utterly ignores her, but this doesn't stop her from sitting beside him regardless.

She states internally that she'll be "stealing his first kiss today," which comes off incredibly creepy when he hasn't expressed any interest in her or desire to kiss her. It doesn't make her look like someone who actually cares about him when she's willing to try to get a kiss from him without his consent.

2. Sakura's Self-Confidence Early On Is Completely Reliant On Sasuke

Before the Chunin Exams, Sakura asks Sasuke if he'd like to train with her. He coldly brushes her off and comments that, when it comes to trying to push her plans onto others who aren't interested, she's just as bad as Naruto.

This rejection completely crushes her self-confidence and she immediately agrees with him instead of standing up for herself. She stays in this funk until Sasuke later compliments her ability to see through genjutsu, after which her self-confidence is immediately restored. It's incredibly unhealthy for her sense of self to hinge on how Sasuke treats her.

1. Sasuke Almost Successfully Ended Sakura's Life

If there's one thing that should have made Sakura realize Sasuke didn't care about her the way she cared about him, above all else, it's the moment he tries to kill her.

Sakura goes after Sasuke declaring that she'll be the one to kill him herself after he becomes an international criminal, but she freezes in the moment. He then tries to kill her instead. He would have been successful in this endeavor, too, if Kakashi hadn't shown up just in time to deflect Sasuke's Chidori and save her. Her infatuation with him doesn't waver whatsoever after this, which feels incredibly off-putting after this vicious interaction.

[forsakenbysinnoh]

Random Headcannons for the Demon Bros that no one asked for.

~Lucifer~

Lucifer never refers to God by name, only ever saying "He" or "My Father".

Despite how he may act, he's proud of his brothers, of their independence and strength. His pact mark reflects that, his own star surrounded by the six of his brothers.

With that, he can also be very worried about his brothers. Being an avatar of a sin is a title that can be won. He makes sure no other demons besides his brothers hold that title.

He has a dark sense of humor that can go unnoticed or be mistaken as threats.

Despite his reputation of being controlling, he's actually rather tired of it. He was forced into this position to protect his loved ones, and to try to figure out how to function after losing the war. Sometimes a part of him wants to be told what hes supposed to do, rather than deal with the mess of making it up as he goes along.

The most scarred of the brothers, especially along his chest and back. When he has to, he hides it with illusions, otherwise he doesn't show his skin.

Takes his debts and what he owes people very seriously. It's why he rarely asks for help even in small things.

Is the only one who can force a pact on an unwilling participant.

Isn't afraid of being controlled, but is scared of losing control to the wrong person or partner. It takes a lot of trust to let him drop the reins in a relationship.

Despite turning into a wolf in the 'Paws and Claws' event, I think the best animal to represent him would be a black unicorn.

~Mammon~

Mammon can be kind of a choosing beggar.

Forgets to be empathetic sometimes and can say some callus things. Sometimes it's good as he can be an outside observer in a situation and see things objectively.

His schemes are mainly to pay off debts. No one is quite sure where he keeps accumulating so many from.

Many people call him a coward, but in reality he's a pacifist. He'd rather run than fight.

Unless you get him hot headed, in which case the gloves are off.

Despite this, he's actually one of the most powerful brothers and can usually win a fight with anyone but Lucifer.

Very agile. Is a natural at parkor and free running.

He doesn't have a high opinion of himself, and his self esteem is in the garbage.

Def has a praise kink tho.

If he's really mad at you, he'll pretend you don't exist. He's not one to get into screaming fights, but he's passive aggressive.

I think a golden dragon with a hoarding tendency fits him well lol

~Leviathan~

He's a big nerd. King of nerds. Absolutely owns it.

Levi actually draws a lot of fanart but never shows it to anyone. He's very jealous of others talent and considers his own art bad.

Def has the Devildom equivalent of Tumblr.

Sometimes can be a fandom gatekeeper/hipster. Likely stems from a place of "I liked this before it was popular and got ridiculed for it. Now it's cool and you're taking over my interest."

Super long theories on current shows with in-depth analysis and pulling info from anywhere he can. Be prepared for his cork board on FNAF.

Sometimes Levi forgets other people have feelings too, especially when he's excited about something, and hurts them by accident. Usually goes back to apologize later when he realizes.

Loves to listen to someone nerd out, even if he's not interested in their interest, he likes them and how passionate about.

He's memorized the TSL books and movies. They are his biggest passion and he loves them so much.

He's a self shipper, ships himself with his favorite wifus and husbandos (he has both) and takes those "which character are you?" Quizzes all the time.

Knows how to code and hopes to make his own game one day.

Snake tends to be the go to for Levi, and I think a lizard or another reptile makes sense. They tend to scurry away from most creature, except for those like them.

~Satan~

(My boy so I might be a little biased/rambling here)

Satan was made after Lucifer lost the war, but he started growing in Lucifer's heart before then.

Satan is the only demon/angel that was not made by God directly, and he feels that effects his relationship with others.

He's not good at empathy, and it's a skill he's still working on.

Satan was the serpent in the garden who caused Eve to fall. He thought it was very unfair that God would refuse humanity knowledge, the one thing that he values above all else.

As he was developing/learning from each of his brothers, they each gave him an item that was important to him that he still keeps. Even Lucifer.

Keeps control of his emotions which can lead to violent outbursts if pushed far enough. No one has seen him completely unhinged except Lucifer.

Loves adventure books/series, especially long ones with intricate plots. Murder mysteries are his absolute favorite. Dislikes the 'Love triangle' trope a LOT.

Likes to listen and create stories.

Very magically adept. He knows many advanced spells and always has a hunger to learn more. Probably has made quite a few spells himself.

Cat. He's a cat. There was no competition here. His spirit animal is a kitty and I love him for it.

~Asmodeus~

Asmo, despite being the avatar of lust, cares about consent a lot. He wants his partners to feel good when they're with him, not like they're afraid or helpless.

Well, unless that's your thing, in which case he'll make sure a safe word is in use ;)

Knows a lot about sex. If you have any question he will be happy to answer it without making it seem awkward or taboo. Though he will flirt and offer to show you himself.

He's very confident in his body and looks. Asmo knows he's a catch and good looking, and wants to keep it that way.

Doesn't mind showing off his scars from the war and wishes he could help Lucifer with his perception of his scars.

He will NOT have anyone body shamed in his presence.

Has ALL the gossip. He knows who's sleeping with who, what relationship drama is going down where, and keeps up with it daily.

Gender roles? Who is she? Being beautiful is for anyone.

He shows affection through touch. This makes him come off a bit needy and he tends to invade other's spaces.

There's more to lust than just sex though, it's pure, unrestrained desire. Desire to learn, to hurt, to take revenge, to love and be loved. He can sense someone's deepest desires and loves to bring that to the surface.

This is why Satan is one of his favorite brothers, there's a lot of pure emotion in him that he keeps covered up.

I think a Siren would fit him best, able to draw out what people desire the most.

~Beelzebub~

Beel has a soft heart. He cares a lot for his family, even when he's mad at them.

His kindness has gotten other demons trying to take advantage of him, which is why he tries to hide it behind a facade of being a big brute.

He's a cuddler. Beel is touch starved and wants nothing more than just to hold someone close and know they love him.

Nightmares are a constant struggle for him. He still blames himself for Lilith's death and not being strong enough.

Unless Belphie is around, Beel has a hard time sleeping.

Like Mammon, Beel a pacifist, though he's usually a little more willing to throw his weight around when needed.

When Lucifer isn't around, Beel is the one to try and get his brother's on the same page. If it's a lost cause he'll just leave for some comfort food.

Unless it's a serious matter, in which case it'll be one of the few occasions he yells.

Is self conscious about the food he eats and how everyone sees him as just the big grunt who loves to eat.

Beel is basically a pitbull. He seems scary and dangerous on the outside, but really he's just a teddy bear.

~Belphagor (spoilers)~

(I'm still a little salty that Belphie here killed me. Just as a warning lol)

Belphie's powers include sleeplessness and inducing a weekend nap. He either never sleeps or is sleeping for several hours.

I don't know why but I'm betting he'd be good at Uno.

Hates being confronted by his mistakes, would rather pretend they didn't happen in the first place

Asks for piggie back rides from Beel when he's too tired to walk.

He's the only one who can get Beel to sleep without nightmares. No one is quite sure if that's cause of his powers, or if he just is good at comforting his brother.

I see him as being good at poems. Soothing words that have a rhythm to them. You listen to him speak and before you know it you're asleep.

He brushes off most kindness as fake and doesn't trust anyone.

The most comfortable hoodie. Hugs are warm and soft.

Animal: a small fluffy cow. You know the ones I'm talking about. Fluff central.

[lookbluesoup]

I’ve seen a lot of talk about anti anti culture lately and an emphasis on canceling people who write stories where bad things happen (i.e., rape, molestation, abuse). I’m really interested in facilitating a positive, open space here on my blog. So sharing my personal opinion about this at all is something I thought about for a while, and my hope is that it offers a helpful perspective as well as solidarity to people who use fiction the same way as me.

It’s not directed at anyone in particular or any event in particular. The tl;dr version is – people should always have a choice, they should be allowed to read or choose not to read, they should be allowed to write and share or choose not to write or share. Taking that choice away from people ultimately hurts survivors by making topics taboo and forcing everyone to fit a specific moral narrative for their pain or experiences to be valid.

Trigger Warnings: Rape, abuse, cancel culture, child molestation, depression, suicide, dogmatic religion, homophobia

1. These things DO happen in real life, and yes, they are harmful, and yes, reading about them can be triggering. Fully, completely acknowledge all of these things and have experienced my share of it firsthand.

2. People should be allowed to know before they get invested in a story whether triggers might be present so that they can choose to avoid it if they want to. It is their choice, and responsibility to decide not to read something that is appropriately tagged. (And please, please tag appropriately!)

3. Being interested in reading about dark subjects does not make a person evil. Somewhere between 31-57 percent of women admit to having rape fantasies. (x) That does not mean women want to be raped in real life. It does not mean that half the population of women are perverted degenerates. Reading fiction, like indulging in our fantasies, is a safe place to explore and enjoy sensations, dramas, and experiences we still don’t want in real life.

In less touchy examples - I love reading about gladiator arena battles! I love playing apocalyptic games where monsters jump out of the dark and scare the shit out of me! I do not want gladiator rings or to live in an apocalypse in real life! That doesn’t mean my interest in these stories or games condones them in real life. It doesn’t mean I think it was right that Rome irl forced slaves to fight to the death for entertainment.

4. I grew up in an environment without grey areas. The dogmatic Bible-beating hatemongering kind. Someone was good and did everything right according to my beliefs and worldview, or someone was bad and a direct threat to me. If I did something wrong, I had to punish myself physically and emotionally to make up for not being perfect. I was taught to despise myself. My parents believed there was only one correct way to view any situation - their way. I was petrified of punishment and learned that it wasn’t even worth trying to do better or accommodate someone else’s experiences because I would never measure up and would be condemned for doing something that wasn’t perfect. That is immensely, cripplingly harmful to an individual and to society. Cancel culture does the same thing. It excommunicates people who aren’t pure and allows others to get by with abuse because they are ‘teaching’ or an ‘authority on morality’ – and guess what? Nobody is pure. We are all human, we all make mistakes, and we are all learning. None of us have moral authority.

We cannot build a healthy, inclusive society if we are unsafe. We cannot be safe if we are not allowed to first admit that we ALL make mistakes and have prejudices that we can improve on. So we need to be kind and nonjudgmental whenever we have the chance to be. And we have to accept and respect that what’s fun or helpful or healing for us might be the opposite for someone else, or vice versa. Which is okay if we are respectful of each other’s boundaries and don’t try to force a way of being onto someone else without their consent.

5. With regard to writing, this means that people need to be allowed to explore difficult, even painful topics if they wish to. Even for fun. Even if someone else might not want or need to explore those same topics. That doesn’t make either person inherently evil or wrong. It just means we all have different needs and wants and diversity is normal. 

As a serious example, as someone who was molested by a teenage neighbor as a child, I can guarantee you that the fact these topics were considered so disgusting and taboo by society made it very difficult for me to cope. It was not my fault, and I’ve healed from it, but when it happened I didn’t even understand what was going on, and the guilt and self-blame that followed me for years afterward were almost crippling. So yes – what happened to me in real life was wrong, inexcusable behavior. But censorship did not protect me. First it made me ignorant and vulnerable to manipulation, and then it made me feel dirty, disgusting, and isolated. 

What I needed was a safe avenue to talk about it and the thoughts and sensations it stirred up, in order to heal. I needed to know it was okay to have automatic thoughts – they were a result of fear and trauma or even just being human, not a moral failing on my part. I needed to actually talk about and explore what I had felt openly, and how that related to the rest of my life, before I could move past it and have a healthy view of intimate acts that weren’t soaked in guilt and self-loathing.

I read a book after that happened, set in ancient Rome, where pederasty took place. And the victim was allowed to admit that he’d enjoyed some of what had happened to him while enslaved, and was then assured that even though he didn’t hate everything that he experienced, it didn’t make him to blame, nor his abuser right, and those thoughts/feelings did not define him or his morality. That has been immensely healing to me – but this ‘grey’ exploration of a topic is not compatible with mainstream cancel culture.

Or alternatively, I watched the series 13 Reasons Why. I hated it. It felt like nothing but shock value entertainment and not a respectful management of topics like suicide that were very, VERY real to me. Except for someone else I knew who had also struggled with suicidal thoughts and impulses, 13 Reasons Why was immensely validating. They were glad that a series showed such graphic representation of these events in a way that couldn’t be ignored or brushed over. What had been hurtful to me, was empowering to them.

I believe it is not mine, or anyone else’s place, to decide that a piece of media should be across the board banned because of what it might do. Because while some of us share traumas, we still each have different experiences, needs, and healing processes.

Such strict censorship allows for only victims who meet a certain “standard” to receive care and healing. The rest are left to suffer or are even punished further.

All of us have gone through life with vastly different levels of privilege, opportunity, expectations, etc, which leads to vastly different interpretations of the world, none of which are 100% correct or true.

6. Cancel culture hurts LGBTQ+ rights. I’m neither straight or cis, and I might never have learned that if I hadn’t been able to build friendships outside of my social circle who allowed me to integrate and ask questions without being obligated to agree with them. Where I grew up, there was immense prejudice against gay people. My cousin was disowned and disinherited for coming out. I was sheltered from anyone who might argue for gay rights, and discouraged from looking at or being curious of the deep south’s version of ‘problematic.’ That’s what I was taught – to be uncomfortable toward, judgmental, and condemning. If I had been on tumblr during those years and gotten ‘cancelled’ I would have been even more suspicious and condemning of Others, and even more determined that my way was the only right one. I specifically avoided tumblr social circles because I ‘knew’ they hated ‘people like me.’ It’s not exclusive. This trend where people become even more convinced to pick an opposing side because the Other person is being hateful is one of the first things they teach you in social psychology. 

The kind of intolerance that goes with mobbing people for saying anything they consider problematic at all is the same cruelty that makes me unable to tell my parents I identify as agender or pan. It’s what gets women stoned to death and gays beheaded. It’s not moral. 

What changed my point of view was friendships. One of my friends came out as gay and my world turned upside down because here was someone that didn’t match any of the stereotypes I’d been taught to fear. He wasn’t hateful or condemning of me, he was one of the most thoughtful and peaceful people I knew. That is what started to change things for me, and made it safe for me to explore other ways of thinking and interpretations of scripture. Because I cared about him more than I needed to be right.

7. Nobody is obligated to interact with someone who is being violent or hateful to them. You’re not even obligated to interact with someone you disagree with, if the topic is too painful or you simply don’t want to talk about it. Keep yourselves safe. But within the world of writing, live and let live. If someone posts a story you don’t like, and they’ve tagged it appropriately, please, please consider that your experience is not universal. You have the choice not to read that story. Someone else might need to read it. Let them, and don’t shame them for it. 

[svtscutie]

The Dating Form: #13

__ Y/N's POV ____________________________

This man keeps on staring at me, I think this is the guy I'm meant to be going on a date with. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking? Cause...

Where did Seungkwan find this man? Like I just want to know. I actually need a minute to take it in. He's so good looking. Like so good looking that I usually don't get caught up with looks but he's just so handsome.

Oh, he's walking over here. Is it actually me?

Okay he's in front of me. Time to panic. I mean not panic, let's be cool.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Are you the friend of Seungkwan? The one he made a dating form for?" He asks and I nod.

I offer my hand for a handshake - this isn't an old move right? - and say "Hi, yes that's me. My name's Y/N, lovely to meet you".

He chuckles lightly, and responds "my bad, I was expecting a hug". He takes my hand and gives it a shake.

"Oh and my name's Mingyu, I'm nice to meet you too" he says, slightly blushing now.

Oh my god, he's so cute.

"Have you been here before?" He asks and I shake my head and respond "Nope, which is surprising cause I like finding new places".

"You're going to love it then, come on, let's head inside" Mingyu says, holding my hand and we head to the front.

"Did you two have a reservation?" The waiter asks us both. I look up at him, oh my god, is he actually this tall? I've never felt so small in my life.

"Yes we do, table for two for Mingyu" he says and the waiter gestures for us to follow him.

Oh we're going upstairs.

Oh and again.

Oh my god it's the rooftop, it's stunning.

As we reach our table, he slightly pulls out the chair for me. I sit down and he pushes the chair back towards the table. Wow like a gentleman. I don't think anyone's done that for me.

"Is everything okay?" Mingyu asks me and adds "You seem pretty quiet".

I really haven't been in a date in a while, I'm getting stuck in my thoughts rather than being present in the moment.

"Oh yeah, I'm okay, sorry... It's just been a while since I've been on a date and I forget how overwhelming it is" I say and he smiles at me.

"Same here, I'm not the type to date often"

Oh that's interesting, I thought for sure he'd get so many dates. Like look at him. He looks so good in that black shirt right now.

"Why's that?" I ask him.

"Well, I'm happy as is, I got my mates and my family. I only applied for that dating form since I've seen you around campus and I didn't have the courage to ask you out in person" he says and adds "I guess what I'm trying to say, being single isn't so bad, but you're making me question my choices".

Okay bold.

And open.

And honest.

And values the people in his life.

And is happy and not desperate.

Swoon.

I ask "where have you seen me at campus?".

I actually have not seen him around. Surely.

"You're in my economics class and my accounting for business class" he says.

"NO WAY! surely I would've seen you around" I say and he laughs.

"I sit next to Wonwoo and he tells me you dated his best friend and you've been avoiding him because since you and his friend broke up" he explains. He's not wrong, until recently, I've been trying to avoid Wonwoo.

I'm working really hard to get over Jihoon I guess.

"Oh.. you're right there. I'm sorry, I should've at least said hi"

"Don't worry about it, it seems like you're determined to move on and that's why you were being distant from any connection to your ex. It's actually good to see, some people get too caught up in the past and what they could've done better" he says. He's not wrong.

Oh no... It's too silent.

Think of something quick.

"So dark, milk or white chocolate?" I ask, hurriedly. WHY DID I DO THAT?

He chuckles at me and I blush again.

"Random, but milk chocolate" he says.

"Ewwww no get out of here, dark chocolate is where it's at"

"Hey look at it this way, more dark chocolate for you if we need to share"

"oooh good point, I like that"

"I shouldn't be so bothered because I'm here with you, but our waiter has literally forgotten about us up here and hasn't given us a menu" He says.

"Honestly I haven't noticed, I'm too busy enjoying the convo" I say and he blushes now.

"Wow my cheeks are so warm" He says openly and I chuckle.

"Cute"

"Stop that, you'll make it worse, I'll overheat" he says, laughing with me.

"Hi excuse me, could we get a menu?"

__ Mingyu's POV _______________________

This date has been perfect. I've learnt so much about her and her about me. We get along so well.

She's spoken about Seungkwan. Spoke about dancing. Also, she knows Hao which is so cool like everyone's connected in a way.

She's heard about my mum and dad, and how I'm friends with Wonwoo, Vernon, Hao and Chan.

"Tell me about your family" I ask and she fiddles her thumbs a bit before beginning.

"Well, my main family is just my brother" she says to me.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that" I say. She must've lost her parents to something.

"Oh no it's okay, like my parents are alive at least, it's just my brother and I didn't have a good relationship with either of them and they divorced recently too. We meet up like once a year but that's it" she explains.

"What happened?" I ask her.

"It's a long story" she warns me.

"I got all night"

"Well... Before all of this, my parents fought a lot, they fought more than even looking after my brother, Seungcheol, and I. Instead, it was my brother who looked after me more than my parents. I think my parents only stayed together for appearances, they always wanted us to look like the perfect family even if we weren't." She says and sighs.

"My brother went out to one party one time and got like really wasted. So wasted, he hooked up with this girl but someone caught them two and recorded them" she says and adds "especially with the family temper, we all kind of get angry easily, my brother ended up bashing up the person who recorded the video at school" she explains.

"My parents found out about the whole thing since the school had to let them know" Y/N states then adds "when they got home, my dad started throwing Seungcheol's stuff out the door and my mum didn't even want to help, she didn't even want her own son to stay, I started panicking as I didn't know where my brother would go".

"luckily his best friend could house him for a while but as soon as my brother was financially stable, he got an apartment and asked me to move out with him" she says.

"I think it took him a year but it was definitely worth it" she says and adds "him and I also owe his friend our lives".

"He helped us out so much, it was such a rough point in our lives" Y/N says.

"Wow, that's a lot to take in... I wasn't expecting that" I say to her and she nods.

"Yeah, so my main family, is just my brother and probably his best friend" she says. I couldn't imagine having that happen to me.

She remains quiet and I just sit and take everything in.

I lean over the table and she mimics my actions. The wind blows a piece of her hair in front of her face and I tuck it behind her ear.

"This date has been so good, you've made things so easy for me, thank you" she says, quietly. Wow, that quiet voice is so attractive.

"You're welcome, thank you for giving me a chance" I say, matching her vocal volume and she smiles at me.

The way the lights are illuminating her face are just adding to her good looks.

The smile slowly fades but she's still looking at me intensely. She looks down, away from my eyes. And back up again, biting her own lip. That's so hot.

"I want to kiss you so bad"

Oh my god.

Do I go for it?

Is it the right time?

"but I think you should work for it a little more" she says, chuckling, leaning away from the table.

"You're killing me" I say and she laughs a little more.

"Next date, just wait, you'll be swept off your feet with my cooking" I say and she gasps.

"Wait you know how to cook?" She asks me and I nod.

"And I know how to cook good, my mom taught me" I say and she throws her head back.

"What is this perfect man in front of me? I'm being tested so bad" she says and I laugh.

"You still have other dates, you know?" I say and she nods.

"and a part of me wants to risk it all right now and tell Seungkwan to not bother with the other dates... But I've jumped into a relationship before and regretted it. I got to get to know you more." she admits.

"I get it honestly, take your time, I'd rather you sure that I'm the one for you, then you doubting us whilst being in a relationship with me"

"ughhh you're too good"

___ y/n's pov ___________________________

"You didn't have to split the bill you know? I could've covered for the both of us" Mingyu mentions as we head out of the restaurant.

"No, it's fine, I would've felt bad if I let you pay for both of us" I say and he smiles. See, he liked that I covered for myself.

"Did you want me to walk you home?" He asks.

"If it's not a bother, then yes please" I say and he grabs my hand. I start walking towards my apartment and he moves me to the side of the crosswalk away from the road.

Cute, he's keeping me safe.

"I don't want this night to end, but we have classes tomorrow" Mingyu says and I nod.

"Gotta love that 10 in the morning start" I say and he chuckles.

"Are you a morning person or a night owl?" He asks me.

"Morning person, love the quiet rise of the sun and people. You?"

"Night owl" he says and adds "I like how alone you can be in the middle of night, or you can choose to get lit and have fun".

"I always struggle staying up though unless I'm getting lit at a party"

"Don't worry, I can keep you up" he says, winking.

Oh no, don't test me.

"I u-um uh I-"

"Cute" he says.

"You're really blushing" he adds and pokes my cheek softly.

"You caught me off guard" I say and he responds "that's exactly what I wanted".

"Don't worry though, I won't do anything you don't want me to do" he whispers in my ear.

Love me a man of consent.

Oh, we are near my place already, nooo.

All of a sudden, I get pulled into the convenience store.

"Ice cream run!" He says and heads to the freezer aisle. I laugh. He's so cute.

I follow him and he wraps his arms around my shoulders, hugging me from behind.

I feel so warm.

And happy.

"Which one do you want? My shout, full stop" he asks me.

"You won't let me object, will you?"

"If you object, you have to give me a kiss" he responds.

"Okay I won't object"

His arm from shoulder moves down to hold my waist as he gets his ice cream.

"This one is my favorite" he says.

I grab a green tea ice-cream as he holds the freezer door open for me. He closes the door and I hug him tightly to warm my body up and he hugs me back.

Mingyu chuckles as I stay there hugging him. I can hear his heartbeat, it's beating so fast. Am I getting him nervous? I pull away and he grabs my hand again and goes to pay for the ice cream.

___ Mingyu's POV ______________________

So this is it.

The front of her apartment.

The end of the date.

"I really enjoyed tonight, it was perfect" she says and adds "besides the whole 'giving our order to the wrong table issue' but it gave us more time to talk".

"I really enjoyed tonight too, like I had a good feeling about you, about us, even before we met. That's probably sounds weird but tonight made me feel like I'm not crazy for crushing on you in class" I say and she begins to unlock her front door.

"I'll see you tomorrow" she says quietly.

"You got something on your cheek"

She turns to face me and asks "what?"

I lean in and wipe the ice cream off her cheek.

She stares up at me and looks at my lips again. She catches me noticing her lips too and smiles.

"Good night Mingyu" she says, kissing my cheek softly.

Holy shit.

The door shuts. I can hear giggles and someone yelling "SO HOW WAS THE DATE?".

I guess it's time for the walk home alone.

________________________________________________________________

Day Four: #13

[masterlist]

—–

6 months after a breakup, a girl asks for some spice in her life. What she didn’t expect was a dating form being posted in honor of her. Multiple love interests, a regretful ex, a nosy brother and his friend and the college life ensures that the spice level is 1,000,000 on the Scoville Rating.

—–

A/N: SURPRISE! HOW DID WE FIND THE DATE? I personally don’t know which one I want more,  a brother-sister relationship like Seungcheol and Y/N or a mans like Mingyu? What are your thoughts? Do we like the Mingyu and Y/N dynamic??

___ taglist ___

[if you would like to be added to the list, just send over an ask and I’ll be happy to add you here]

@itsdnguyenxoxo​ @dy-mglzz​ @noniesgirl​ @arohatiny​

[theopentable]

An Honest Advent (Part 2)

In the previous session together with our mini-contemplative community we found our way into what is important to us by paying attention to our pain. We hurt where we care. The same things that bring us great meaning come with great vulnerability. Our hearts are on the line. And so if our lives are shaped by experiential avoidance we will become removed from what is sacred to us which only brings a deeper kind of pain.

To start our time together this week we sought to find our way into what is important to us by sharing who we admire (dead or alive) and why. Our heroes and guides are people who have lived lives that have grabbed our attention, who embody something life-giving to us. This is the sweet way into our sacred values; pain is a more bitter path. Both sweet and sour can be helpful ways of accessing what brings us vitality and purpose.

Each of the two Honest Advent sessions had in mind this hope of holding a space where we could make contact with our deepest truths. Parker Palmer describes the way Advent calls us to risky incarnation [1]. He says that this theme of incarnation, the word becoming flesh, is one of the most important gifts of the Christian tradition. Too often the word instead becomes disembodied, floating above things in a way that fails to really connect wth the substance of our lives. 

The Christmas story, Palmer says, is about God taking the risk of showing up in the flesh with all that comes with that. He says this is a risk we are all called to. This is the risk of embodying our values and our beliefs. This is the risk of manifesting our identity and integrity in the world. The risk of being fully human. A risk we shy away from.

Palmer proposes that what the Christmas story reminds us is that we must be reborn again and again in the shape of our True Selves, in simplicity rather than the triumphalism we are so easily drawn to. He reminds us of the vulnerability of a baby and the way it needs nurturing and tending. He explains that the same is true of whatever part of us that wants to now come out of hiding, that wants to embodied and incarnated in the world. We need unconditional love.

While we do often shy away from the risk of incarnation that’s not what we see in Mary’s story however. Mary in our story is confused and disturbed (Luke 1:29) but miraculously and heroically says, “Yes. Let it be as you say” (v38). She doesn’t get caught up on details about why God might do this, why God might choose her. Mary skips straight to the how (v34). She’s on board, with all the weighty costs and immensity that will come with being overshadowed by the Most High.

Imagine, though, how these conversations would go on to play out with Joseph, who to start with, did not have the benefit of divine revelation. Joseph only had Mary’s word, Mary’s hope. And it is, on the surface of things, a crazy word, a crazy hope.

More likely it is a betrayal. A scandal. And Joseph has the family name to protect. In tight-knit shame cultures your name is everything. Family is your life. And Joseph is from an important line – a royal line. Combined with this, Joseph’s cultural and religious traditions demand that significant action be taken against Mary. Mary’s very life is in the hands of Joseph.

Fortunately, Joseph is a kind and compassionate man. He must have sincerely loved Mary. He chooses the option that keeps her safe, and yet they must be apart. He quietly leaves her (Matthew 1:19).

And so we’re at this critical juncture in the story where Mary has heroically said “Yes” to carry God-life into the world. But Joseph has said “No”. Joseph is out. Joseph has very good reasons for jumping off the ship. He jumps off the ship because he can’t take the leap with Mary. The word-alive within her is too crazy, too hopeful. It would cost too much.

And it’s at this point that it’s worth pointing out that very few of us are like Mary. Mary is a compelling figure but she is hard to relate to. She says “Yes” to impossible things. She says “Yes” to something that will blow-up everything she has known.

But Joseph I think we can all relate to. The risk of incarnation is stark. Confronting. Distressing. 

Any call to incarnate what is most important to us will always be vulnerable. It will include pain and fear. Anything really worth doing in life involves discomfort. And when we experience vulnerability, distress or discomfort there will always be a voice that comes to us saying “Shut it off. Get us out of this situation.”

Willingly Out of Breath: An Exercise Distress tolerance

We can appreciate something of this just by holding our breath. The longer we hold our breath the stronger the urge to breathe becomes. The discomfort lives in our body. It plays out in our minds, in our emotions. We hear the voice that comes to us saying “Shut this feeling off. Get us out of this situation. Breathe!”

We know from fields of psychology that we all have different degrees of tolerance for distress and discomfort.

Psychologists at Brown University have demonstrated that people who struggle to make room for their distressing feelings were far less likely to do hard things like give up smoking [2].

And we should take this seriously because the call to incarnate what is most important to us will come with significant experiences of discomfort and even distress. Anything creative, meaningful or loving comes with risk and uncertainty.

Which might be enough for us to make choices that steer us away from what is most important to us. Which is nothing to feel bad about. It’s normal. We all do this in various forms.

But what if we could also find ways to make it more likely that we could say “Yes” to what is most important to us, even with unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or sensations?

What if there were angels who could meet us in our discomfort and from this we found the capacity to say “Yes”?

Letting Angels Speak to Us: The Welcoming Prayer Practice

The Joseph experience is a picture of the way that fear and discomfort can keep us asleep and stop us from incarnating what’s most important to us. But we also know that Joseph’s “No” is not the end of the story. Joseph is met by an angel in his dreams that explains that while Mary’s dream might be crazy, it’s also true. Mary really has been overshadowed by the Most High.

Joseph “wakes up” and says “Yes” to the risk of carrying Christ into the world alongside Mary (Matthew 1:24).

Chelsea and I have been using a contemplative prayer practice called the Welcoming Prayer for a while now [3]. When we were preparing for the birth of our second child it became the language we drew upon throughout the process of labour. In my own struggles with hurt, control, anger, and resentment it has been a practice I’ve drawn upon a lot over the last few years.

In some ways it’s been a way of inviting angels to meet us in our experiences, just like Joseph needed.

The three movements of the prayer are:

1. Feel and sink in

2. Welcome

3. Let go

Feeling and sinking into means experiencing what is happening in our bodies, sinking into the experience, the bodily sensation, without resistance. We might get to the experience by moving through our body, scanning for any discomfort, uneasiness, tension or pain. When we become aware of any sensations we simply try to experience the energy and intensity of what is taking place. All feelings, whether the ones we like having or otherwise, are received, acknowledged and given space. We notice them. They might even change or shift in some ways as we become present to our experience. We simply follow their movement with as much honesty, openness and willingness as we can muster.

The gift of this movement for any of us rests in the way that our bodies are the best truth tellers when it comes to our own experiences. Our minds offer a version of truth but it might be according to all kinds of different plots and character plots it likes to develop. The body, though, keeps the score. Our fatigue, our tense jaw, the energy in our muscles reveal important messages to us if we are willing to pay attention. Learning to connect more deeply with these messages has been a really important dimension of my wellbeing and relationships. When I pay more attention to my body I become more aware of my experience and I am more able to communicate my experience and my needs to those I care about in real time. 

Welcome is the sacred word and symbol of consent to the presence and action of the Indwelling Spirit, or as Thomas Keating describes, the Divine Therapist.

Welcome begins by embracing what we find happening within -

Welcome [anger, fear, vulnerability, longing etc.]

Welcome... [insecurity, hurt, joy, hunger etc.]

Welcome... [excitement, bitterness, etc.]

The gift of the Welcoming Prayer is that it’s a practice that enables us to welcome our experiences, just as they are, and when they happen. This doesn’t mean that we have to enjoy our experiences or even like that we are having them any more than we would enjoy having a broken arm. The practice involves acceptance. 

Acceptance is honouring reality. It’s the opposite of denial and avoidance. The opposite of pretending. It is something other than struggling with our struggle which can serve to amplify our pain. Acceptance includes honesty, openness, and willingness. 

Open and willing to lean in to discomfort because there are helpful things we might learn. Open and willing to lean into feeling more broadly because when we open to hard things we also open to the profoundly sweet also. Open and willing because instead of having our feelings our feelings have us - leaking out and playing out in ways we are barely conscious of. Open and willing to lean in because control and avoidance don’t work in the ways we might hope [4].

It’s not just a practice for making room for our experiences but also seeks to welcome God into that experience:

God as the security we need

God as the affection we need

God as the safety and radical acceptance we often need to hold us in the inevitable storms of life so that we can stay the path of risky incarnation.

Saying the word “welcome” interiorly is the action of embracing the Indwelling Spirit, God-in-us, God-always-present in and through our experience. The Welcome Prayer is a way of practicing consent to Divine Activity in our lives on the go.

Finally comes the letting go.

This might be experienced as a kind of “breathing out” or even a handing over of our experience to God, or at least a repositioning:

I let go of my desire for... [security, affection, vengeance, control etc.] and embrace this moment as it is.

I open myself to the love and presence of God and God’s action within.

Letting go is for our own liberation. In the recovery movement they talk about letting go and letting God.

This letting go isn’t about denying or ignoring our needs. It can be a way of recognising that we’ve sought to meet our needs in places that cannot be reliably or ultimately met. 

The Welcoming Prayer practice is a way of taking our needs even more seriously - our needs for ultimate security and significance, for infinite love and affection, to feel safe and okay in a messy world. 

How might trust and embrace of Divine Love shape our needs for power and control? 

How might our longing and desires for validation and attention from those in our world be shaped when we can draw near to Divine noticing and validation in those moments where our insecurity is guiding our actions? 

How might our healing and recovery and longing for justice be transformed by encountering the God who receives our pain, offers us comfort, and strengthens us to channel our appropriate anger into energy for change?

The potential in all contemplative practices, as Father Richard Rohr articulates, is to move from ego consciousness to soul awareness, from being fear-driven to being love-drawn [5]. Parker Palmer reminded us of our need for unconditional love. Love draws those hidden parts out of us that long to be embodied and incarnated in the world. Love gives us courage. Love sings.

This is the great movement that happens in the lives of Mary and Joseph. The same movement may happen in us also.

All of these stunning images are the work of Scott Erickson - go to https://www.scottericksonart.com, buy his stuff.

[1] Parker Palmer, The Risk of Incarnation https://www.theworkofthepeople.com/the-risk-of-incarnation

[2] This willingly out of breath exercise and information can be found in Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Steven C. Hayes with Spencer Smith, pp.49-50

[3] A helpful overview and how it is often used in recovery settings can be found here: https://vimeo.com/447011098

[4] Hayes highlights how consistently the scientific literature reveals the value of willingness and the danger of its flip side—experiential avoidance. Here’s a few areas that show how broadly applicable this process can be for psychological suffering:

Physical pain. In virtually every area of chronic pain, physical pathology (the objectively assessed physical damage) bears almost no relation to the amount of pain, reduced functioning, and disability (Dahl et al. 2005). The relationship between the amount of pain and degree of functioning is also weak. What predicts functioning is (a) your willingness to experience pain, and (b) your ability to act in a valued direction while experiencing it (McCracken, Vowles, and Eccleston 2004). These are precisely the processes targeted in this book. Training people how to accept their pain and how to watch it or “defuse from” their thoughts about it (see chapter 6) greatly increases their tolerance of pain (Hayes et al. 1999) and decreases the amount of disability and sick leave downtime caused by their pain (Dahl, Wilson, and Nilsson 2004). 

Physical trauma, disease, and disability. In head injury, spinal injury, heart attack, and other areas of physical illness or injury, the degree of physical pathology is a very poor predictor of rehabilitation success and long-term disability. What is predictive is the patient’s acceptance of the condition and the willingness to take responsibility for her or his predicament (Krause 1992; Melamed, Grosswasser, and Stern 1992; Riegal 1993). In chronic diseases like diabetes, your acceptance of the difficult thoughts and feelings the disease gives rise to, and your willingness to act in the presence of these thoughts and feelings predict good self-management of the disease (Gregg 2004). Other health-care problems, such as smoking, show the same results (Gifford et al. 2004). ACT promotes better health management as a result of changes in your willingness to accept discomfort, unhook from your thoughts, and move toward what is most personally meaningful to you (Gifford et al. 2004; Gregg 2004). 

Anxiety. Unwillingness to have anxiety predicts having anxiety in many different forms (Hayes, Strosahl, et al. 2004). For example, when exposed to the same levels of physiological arousal, experiential avoiders are more likely to feel panic than those who willingly accept their anxiety (Karekla, Forsyth, and Kelly 2004). This is particularly true if experiential avoiders are actively trying to control their anxiety sensations (Feldner et al. 2003). Among people who habitually pull out their own hair, experiential avoidance predicts more frequent and intense urges to pull, less ability to control urges, and more hair pulling–related distress than among people who are not experientially avoidant (Begotka, Woods, and Wetterneck 2004). People with generalized anxiety disorder are more likely to have high levels of emotional avoidance (Mennin et al. 2002), and both the amount of worry and degree of impairment they suffer correlates with experiential avoidance (Roemer et al. 2005). Even a very small amount of training in acceptance can be helpful, however. For example, just ten minutes of acceptance training made panic-disordered persons more able to face anxiety; training in distraction and suppression was not helpful (Levitt et al. 2004). Similarly, for anxious people, teaching them a simple ACT acceptance metaphor, the Chinese finger trap, reduced avoidance, anxiety symptoms, and anxious thoughts more successfully than did breathing retraining (Eifert and Heffner 2003). 

Childhood abuse and trauma. Childhood abuse predicts current distress to some degree, but the practice of willingness mediates that relationship (Marx and Sloan, forthcoming [b]). In other words, if you are unwilling to experience the memories, thoughts, and feelings that childhood abuse produces, you get stuck with chronic distress as an adult. However, if you are willing to experience those thoughts, memories, and feelings again, the same abuse history is significantly less destructive to your life. When people with initially equal levels of post-traumatic stress have been compared over time, research has shown that those who are willing to have these private experiences have less post-traumatic stress over time (Marx and Sloan, forthcoming [a]). 

Job performance. People who are more emotionally willing to experience negative emotional experiences enjoy better mental health and do better at work over time. The effect is significantly greater than the effects of job satisfaction or emotional intelligence (Bond and Bunce 2003; Donaldson and Bond 2004). 

Substance abuse. Substance abuse is typically motivated by an attempt to avoid negative private experiences (Shoal and Giancola 2001). The more substance abusers believe that drugs or alcohol reduce their negative emotions, the more likely they are to relapse (Litman et al. 1984). 

Depression. Up to half of the variations in the symptoms of depression can be accounted for by a lack of acceptance and willingness (Hayes, Strosahl, et al. 2004). 

Hayes with Smith, Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (2005), pp.46-47

[5] Richard Rohr, https://cac.org/letting-go-of-our-very-selves-2020-12-16/

[ask-de-writer]

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 11 of 83 : World of Sea

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SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 11 of 83

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

copyright 2020

written 2007

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users   of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may   reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information   remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in   my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical   compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story?  Read from the beginning.  PART 1 is here

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Chapter 3a: Kurti

Captain Barad Maks brooded on his sybaritically appointed bunk.  At last, I’m finally going to get completely even, maybe ahead of the Longin.  It’s not so much that they’ve avoided my nets or even that they’ve tangled me in every net that I’ve cast their way — — — Skill I can admire.  It was almost getting me fed to the Strong Skins at my first Gathering as Captain.  Mord had nothing to gain by exposing my game.  He near got me killed and for what? Nothing!  He was already a captain and there were no other good candidates.  I chose my time carefully in that regard.

He rolled out of bed and began to dress.  His new cabin-girl, Kurti, quickly came out of the bed and helped him with his sleeves and the tying of his sash and neck-cloth.  She offered no word, out of fear. I wonder what really happened to Chena?  Nobody seems to know. One evening she was here and the next day the Captain chose me to replace her.  They say it was food poisoning but she was the only one.  Whatever happened to her, I don’t want it to happen to me!  She looked at the Captain critically and took a chance on speech, saying, “I think perhaps this hat, with the Wide Wing plume.  It will make a dashing appearance.”

Smiling tolerantly at the girl’s obvious fear, he replied, “By the Dragons, Ch … Kurti, isn’t it?  I’m only going about the ship for an inspection.  I need to see Master Selked on a small matter. That’s all.”

Kurti smiled tentatively in return and said, “True, Sir.  Ch … your previous cabin-girl did not dress you well.  I think that you will gain even more respect if you always dress well.”  She paused and considered for a moment before adding, “Unless the part that you are acting needs something else.”

Barad actually found it in him to beam, genuinely pleased, his vanity stroked.  He patted her cheek gently and said, “Very well, Kurti, I will let you decide my dress for most occasions, even the most trivial.  If it goes well for morale you will have my appreciation, which is no small thing.

“If it does nothing, it will be remembered to your credit as an honest try to help.  In spite of what you may have heard, I do remember those on my side.”

Kurti was afraid to ask what had happened to Chena.  The answer would have surprised her.  Captain Barad would have told her with complete candor what happened.  He was no fool to blab secrets where they could escape and he knew that she could not get away.  What few people, even those closest to him, understood was that he was not ashamed of or bothered by anything that he had ever done.  Nor did they understand how swiftly he could change course completely if he believed himself to be wrong.

As he walked the familiar grimy corridors of the Grandalor, going to the boat-shop, he felt a buoyant spring to his step.  He felt as good as he looked.  He had not paid much attention to casual dress before, and found that it did have an immediate effect on his own morale. His own mood of self confidence communicated itself to those who saw him.  Crew-folk who saw him coming sprang alertly out of his path instead of clearing the way sullenly.

The Captain knocked at the entrance of the shop and waited for Selked’s call of “Enter!” before he did.

Captain Barad looked approvingly about the meticulously tidy shop.  There were many kits of tools for every purpose on the sea, each bearing the marks of the Grandalor and Selked, piled neatly on every surface. From the overhead beams around the roof-skylight-hatch hung net bags filled with scrapers, bow-drills, and many other tools to be sold singly.

Selked, Master Boat-wright and tool maker, sat before his bench working on sets of sail stitching tools.  Each set was in a fitted box of glued Strong Skin lined with the Gula’s finest velvet.  Captain Barad admired Selked’s work and had never interfered with it.  Selked’s tools of all types were famous throughout the fleet for their uncompromisingly high quality.

The awl shafts that Selked was presently mounting to handles were all of the hardest, densest Wing Ray bone.  The light yellow striations alternating with a delicate brown running the length of each shaft told its origin and value better than any amount of sales talk could.  Noticing that there were three shafts more than there were handles, Captain Barad reached out to pick one up to examine more closely.

Selked’s laconic, “Shouldn’t touch that’un, if I were you,” brought him to a quick stop, fingers only inches away from the pointed shaft.

“I wanted to see it more closely.  There seems to be a defect in the bone pattern,” said the Captain mildly.

“There is.  That’s why I’m mounting this one instead,” said Selked. He pushed home the spike of the awl he was assembling, using a pair of special pliers to handle it, as he seated it into soft glue in the handle’s hole.  He carefully wiped the excess glue with a shaped tool to get a smooth fairing between handle and shaft.

He took his marking tool of Hag beak, wiped on the mordant bone marking ink and placed his mark onto it, slightly off kilter, and just a touch blurred.

Setting the tool into the last place in a kit box, he closed it and handed it to the Captain.

“This is the kit you want for your little scheme.  Sorry that it took as long as it did to make but, as you noticed, I had some trouble getting the Ord spines to take the dye properly.”

Casually, he added, “All the rest of the kit but the awl spike is Merk’s last bungled piece of work.  He tried to take one shortcut too many the other night.  Didn’t use the handling pliers on the very spine that you were reaching for when he poked it into Chena’s snack.  I found him when I opened the shop next morning.  Passed it off as blood poisoning from an infected cut.”

“Thanks for the timely warning.  This kit should be just what is needed and ready in plenty of time.”  Barad considered for a second and added admiringly, “Those spines must have been difficult to work with.”

“They were, Captain. — — May I ask what the occasion is?”

“This?” Barad gestured at his clothing and smiled, “It’s my new cabin-girl’s idea.  Kurti thinks that if I dress the part of Captain better, I will have more respect from the crew.  Speaking of which, choose who you will for your next apprentice.  I’ll see that you get your choice.”

Selked replied seriously, “My thanks, Captain.  You know, Kurti could be right about that.  You project more of an air of authority along with your power.  If she lives up to her other duties as well, she could be well worth keeping.  Pretty too.  You do have an eye for them, Sir.”

Lightly Barad returned, “I pride myself on it.  By the way, I am planning a game of Three Dragons in my cabin tonight.  Would you care to join?”

“My pleasure, Captain.  Tonight then!”

Captain Barad continued his tour of the ship.  It appeared that Kurti was right.  Obedience to his orders and suggestions was prompter and less sullen.  The lack of respect, even as the crew followed orders, that had plagued his captaincy appeared to be dissolving.  And for such a small thing!

He found First Officer Timms on the quarter deck seeing to the butchering a freshly caught four-ton Strong Skin.  All of the men were wearing full foul weather waterproofs and gloves.  A crew, similarly dressed waited by with mops and buckets to clean up. Mister Timms was applying spots of red weed paste to the fish and its skin.  Far too much of the paste was turning the sickly dangerous green that signaled Ord contamination.

“Mister Timms!  How goes the effort to find a use for the Ord in fishing?”

He looked up from his work and answered, “This one is the best so far. Out of ten fish, we have gotten less than fifteen tons of meat and lost over half of the hides to contamination.

“The toxin spreads so fast!  I have tried infusions in bait, Ord spine in the harpoon points and this… We harpooned it in the usual way and pricked it with a spine on a pole to kill it.  You can see for yourself.  We got the most hide, this time.”  He cast a glance at the lean form of the dead predator.  “Just over three-fourths.”

Barad actually looked pleased.  The wind played in the plume of his hat. “Give over the effort, Mister Timms.  You have tried all that could be reasonably be done.  I will want all of your notes to append to the log entry.”

“Very good, Sir.  Working around this stuff was making me nervous, to tell you the truth.”  He cleaned his gloves and sleeves meticulously in a bucket before he took them off.  He added a few notes to a small sheaf and handed them to the Captain.

Barad nodded his head solemnly.  “It was too good an idea not to try. It’s a pity that it didn’t work better.”  He walked to a companionway and went down into the ship.

The Purser’s scriptorium was his last stop.  The newly pirated Ephemerides were coming along nicely and some copies were already bound.

“Excellent work, Morgu.  If we can get twenty copies of each volume, I know just who will buy them and how to promote them.”

Morgu looked up from his high desk in the corner of the room and gave a rare, thin mouthed smile at the praise.  “We should have them done by the Gathering, though it will be a near thing.”

“Excellent! I need a small favor.  On these notes here, can you add a brief remark about the loss of one spine, apparently dropped overboard? You should have seen it happen to give credibility to the loss.  The note should be in Mister Timms’ hand.”

TO BE CONTINUED

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[bigskydreaming]

I just read that after Tarantulla raped Dick they were going to marry?! WTF DC THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPP is this true?

Yeah, in the issues following Blockbuster’s death and the rape, Dick was a total and complete mess, and Tarantula pretty much spent the next several issues taking advantage of his emotional state. She encouraged him to get drunk to feel better, and tried to use his more vulnerable drunken state to do a number of things which included targeting villains like Copperhead for the sake of her own personal agenda and almost getting married at a chapel. I believe she’d gotten a marriage certificate and everything, and the only thing that kept that from happening is right before it did, Dick got a call from Bruce summoning him back to Gotham to help with the War Games storyline, and the city-wide gang war that had erupted. 

(I honestly can’t remember if it was outright stated or textualized in the issues, but it was heavily implied that there was sexual interaction between Dick and Tarantula during this period…..I don’t want to call it them having sex, because Dick wasn’t in a coherent state of mind to be making the choice to have sex based on his normal priorities. My personal interpretation has always been that Dick let Tarantula drag him along from place to place during this time and ‘consented’ to having sex with her because he was kinda trying to….retroactively reframe what she’d done to him on the roof in issue #93, if that makes sense? Like, my take is that Dick was heavily in denial at this stage, and was kinda trying to convince himself that if he made the ‘choice’ here and NOW to have sex with Tarantula, then he could from there kinda convince himself that what had happened on the roof wasn’t any different. Like ‘well maybe I didn’t technically consent at the time, but see, I’m having sex with her now, and that means I probably would have anyway if my head had just been a little clearer.’ Make no mistake - I’m DEFINITELY not suggesting that this in any way makes what happened in #93 any less of actual rape, and there’s no interpretation IMO of the later scenes between them where Dick was making full use of his own agency rather than just unhealthily trying to cope with something he was still trying to process as him having been victimized by rather than a willing party too. It was all just messy as fuck, is what I’m saying. And Tarantula, whatever she thought she was doing, was very much manipulating the fuck out of Dick at his most vulnerable moments through all of this).

Tarantula went to Gotham with him, and even ‘helped’ the Batfam due to the fact that Bruce kinda just….took the fact that she was accompanying Dick and he wasn’t protesting it as a sign of him vouching for her, instead of like….the fact that Dick wasn’t remotely in the right state of mind of to be making healthy decisions, and was pretty obviously on a path to self-destruction. He was extremely reckless throughout the War Games storyline, getting shot in the leg by cops without it even phasing him, heedlessly risking his own life in order to go after Firefly (who just a couple weeks earlier had been hired by Blockbuster to burn down Haly’s Circus), and he basically gave the impression that he didn’t really care if he got both of them shot by the cops while he was going after Firefly - to the extent that it freaked Firefly out and he was yelling wtf are you doing, you Bats aren’t supposed to act like this. 

In the immediate aftermath of the War Games storyline, while still recovering from a gunshot wound in his leg, Dick left Gotham again without a word to anyone, just leaving his Nightwing costume abandoned in the Cave. He went back to Bludhaven, with Tarantula following him, and there he turned both himself and Catalina in for the murder of Blockbuster. (He turned himself in as Officer Dick Grayson, who’d been fired from the force before Blockbuster’s death, and basically presented himself as a cop who’d gone rogue rather than implicating himself as Nightwing, so as not to draw any heat back towards the rest of the Batfam by association). He was in jail for like a day or two, but then his former partner and now the captain of the precinct, Amy Rohrbach, had him released and said she refused to let him throw his life away out of guilt for something he didn’t even do. 

(She’d known his identity for some time, and its the reason he quit being a cop, she told him he had to choose and it was a conflict of interest….BUT the very night Blockbuster died, she came to him, knowing what Blockbuster had been doing and how he’d been targeting everyone Dick loved in his civilian life, and she offered to give him his gun and badge back so he’d be ‘covered’ if he had to shoot to kill Blockbuster in their inevitable confrontation. Dick refused to take them though.)

But anyway, when Amy made it clear that she wasn’t going to sit back and let Dick throw himself on his sword out of misplaced guilt for a murder he hadn’t actually committed, and was willing to drag herself down with him if he pushed it, Dick was released and he continued to spiral….and this is when he came up with his plan to infiltrate the mob and then from there the Society of Supervillains as Renegade. He first worked as an enforcer for the mob, nicknamed “Crutches” for the fact that he was still on crutches due to his leg injury, but this didn’t stop him from being effective….and then once he got what he’d wanted out of that he progressed to developing the Renegade persona and working for the Society and with Deathstroke. Basically, all of this was part of a plan he’d come up with to ensure Bludhaven’s safety in the longterm, without his presence….he was explicitly counting on not being around to protect Bludhaven himself, mostly because he didn’t deserve to be in his eyes, and it was heavily implied that he was at least passively suicidal at this time and was enacting this plan as kinda a form of ‘getting his affairs in order.’ 

Basically, the idea was he used his infiltrations to get leverage over the various mobs and make deals with supervillains notorious enough to ensure other villains obeyed a decree to stay out of Bludhaven….and ultimately his plan was to have Bludhaven become a kinda ‘no-fly zone’ for supervillains, the mob and superheroes alike, a city that was left alone for its citizens to live without outside interference. He’d gotten the leverage he needed to keep the mobs from operating in Bludhaven and had a supposed agreement with Deathstroke to keep the villains out….when Slade went back on his word and cooperated with the rest of the Society to drop the nuclear supervillain Chemo on Bludhaven and destroy the city just before Dick managed to bring his months long plans to fruition.

So, this is why if you’ve seen me post about the Blockbuster stuff before, I tend to say I hate how its been boiled down and reduced to just the rape on the rooftop by Tarantula. Yes that was bad enough on its own, but there was SO MUCH SHIT being thrown at Dick from EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE, simultaneously, with no reprieve. Everything he was working towards was systematically thwarted and dismantled in both his civilian and superhero lives and nothing was going his way, and nobody anywhere was showing up to help him, and he truly was at rock bottom, and I hate hate hate people thinking he only has one or two major traumas in his life because that was like….a good year long exercise in misery for him. He canonically spent months undercover working within the mobs and the Society to try and make his plans happen, months surrounding himself by the worst of the worst and convincing himself all the while that he BELONGED among them. That was part of why he was doing what he was doing, make no mistake…..he fully believed at the time that he’d become no better than them.

And its why I loathe Bruce’s ultimate ‘pep talk’ to him, when Dick was finally recovering in the Batcave after Superman flew him out of radioactive, destroyed Bludhaven, where Dick had RUN BACK INTO in an attempt to save as many people as he could. “I can forgive you for Blockbuster’s death, if you really need me to, but I can’t and won’t forgive you for losing sight of the value of your own life.” REALLY, Bruce? Like, what the fuck is that? First off, why the fuck would you make that conditional like “if you really need me to”….if you think your son needs to feel you’ve forgiven him for something that wasn’t even his fault, just SAY THAT, without qualifiers. But…how the hell do you expect him to keep sight of the value of his own life if YOU’RE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND WHEN HE MOST NEEDS SOMEONE ELSE TO REMIND HIM HIS LIFE HAS VALUE???

Ugh.

So eternally annoyed with the non-resolution to all of that.

Oh, and also keep in mind that in comic book time, relatively speaking, all of this is not that long after Dick killed the Joker and Bruce like….walked off and said Dick needed to figure out how to live with that on his own. With them pretty much never actually resolving this, or addressing how freaking much of the fallout from Blockbuster’s death and his bystander role in it was probably Dick overcompensating for still feeling like he’d disappointed Bruce and betrayed his ideals by killing the Joker, and that Bruce hadn’t and wouldn’t forgive him for that.

He thought he was responsible for Blockbuster’s murder because he was already convinced he was a murderer, because nobody after Last Laugh just went to him and said “Look, who the fuck cares what Bruce thinks, it was the fucking Joker, he murdered your brother and was trying to murder your other brother, anyone who says you were wrong to kill the fucker can fuck off.”

But I mean, hey maybe that’s just me. LOLOL.

[neshabeingchildish]

Had Enough

It’s just a small one shot that takes place whenever the ship passes by Wawanakwa at the beginning of Revenge of the Island. Idk if I’ll contribute much via fics since my schedule is already a hot mess, but I did wanna shove at least one little one out for Leshawna and Harold, since I love them babies.

"That was the LAST TIME I come out for any more Total Drama crap! Contracts are over and I'm over it!" Leshawna fussed, to no one in particular,even though she was surrounded by like-minded friends.

“I can’t believe that I was actually looking forward to going back to Wawanakwa,” Gwen admitted, looking at Owen jump off of the ship to try to swim to shore. She sighed and shook her head. Poor guy. He’d realize soon.

“I can believe it,” Harold interrupted her thoughts, “At this point, it’s probably become a part of your identity. I go to a wide variety of camps all year round, so Wawanakwa isn’t that important to me, per se. But, it has some portion of sentimental value. It’s where I met the love of my life,” Harold was going on. 

Leshawna barely heard him and didn’t notice when he, Gwen, Duncan, DJ, and Eva all looked at her. When she noticed, she asked, “I’m sorry, Baby, did you say something?” 

Duncan reminded Harold, “She still doesn’t know that you’re alive. If anything, this place should have traumatic value to you.”

“You’re the only source of trauma that I have ever encountered in my life,” Harold said, annoyed. “And Leshawna helped me to cope with that, so… she’s like treatment. I choose to identify with that instead of the negative.”

Leshawna sighed, “Harold…” She tended to be mean to him, sometimes, because whenever she got too mice, it went to his head and he blurred the lines of who they were to each other. They were friends! She did really like him, but she also didn’t trust people enough to just surrender her heart. Then again… Not letting him in hadn’t gotten her anywhere either. Harold waited expectantly for her to finish her statement. No matter what, he was always holding out hope for her. “You helped me through this place, too,” she finally said. 

Everybody looked shocked. Even Harold. But, he quickly made the most of this. “You wanna find a place to be alone on this ship?” He asked, pointing his thumb towards the boat that they were all on and had just passed by the camp where they met. She took his hand and pulled him away from the others. As they left together, Gwen asked their friends, “Do… Do you guys think it’s really finally happening?”

DJay offered, “I’m not convinced that something hasn’t happened before in the past.”

“Well… Either way, good for them…” Gwen said, then looked at Duncan, “You! You’re going to have to be nice to him, if they’re… a thing. There’s no way that Leshawna and I are going to deal with you two doing your quarrel thing… And maybe this time around, there won’t be any offers for her, so… she and I will be able to finally do the show!”

“I wouldn’t trust her. She bailed on you last time,” Duncan said.

“She needed the money from the series she was signing up for. After we finally talked it out, I got it. We’re good like that. We communicate and forgive each other…” Gwen sighed, “I’m not gonna hold my breath.” Duncan smirked and lifted her jaw to face him for a kiss.

DJay said, “This is a little more awkward with just them and us, huh?” 

Eva turned up her nose at Duncan and Gwen kissing and she and DJay walked off. 

.

Leshawna found a cabin that was both clean and empty and had a comfy enough cot on it. Harold stared at her for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. “Are… we really going to get physical right now?” he asked, both for consent purposes and to confirm - because many times, he thought that they were in a good place and that kissing and touching was the next logical step, and she’d be on another page entirely. If she was really fed up with the back and forth that was Total Drama, this might be the last time that they saw each other and even though they would definitely keep in touch… He had to know… Leshawna pulled him by the shirt to the cot and pressed her lips against his.

“Does that answer your question?”

“Yes. Thank you for the clarity,” he said and eagerly mounted her on the cot, kissing her the entire time.

They had been through a lot together, but she wasn’t as secure with herself in a romantic capacity as she was in her friendships. Coming up, she hadn’t been the prettiest or the thinnest, or the sweetest girl that the boys noticed. In fact, her confidence and assurance of herself was something that she had to both create and cultivate. She still oftentimes got extremely defensive whenever someone even so much as seemed to be attacking one of the areas that she had to learn to love about herself again. She had been raised to value herself, and her family was loving and close. But, at school, out in social situations, in the media and the world at large, she was always othered and discarded, by all of those standards. 

That was why when she initially met Harold, she was ready to clobber him for pointing out the things that people frequently disrespected her for. Of course, as time went on, that changed. Harold became her biggest supporter and biggest source of favor. He was beautiful to her, and yet… the 16 years of having to guard herself were just a bit stronger than the time span of him trying to nurture her and she couldn’t just toss her entire way of life, of survival and preservation out of the window over a boy. But… she was very close to at least giving him an inheritance in it. She was definitely going to let him inside today. She’d decided. 

She decided that he was worth a risk. After everything she had been through over money, trying to win at various reality competitions to start her community center as quickly after school as possible… Being with Harold, if it turned out to be a mistake… It could be her favorite mistake. She was fine with the idea of that, though she hoped and preferred that it wouldn’t be a mistake. It couldn’t! She had enough losing and disappointment. She deserved at least one good thing for herself.

So, whenever they were heading back to meet their friends whenever the ship docked, when Harold said for the hundredth time since she’d met him, “I love you;” she smiled, looked shyly at her hands, which looked new to her eyes for some reason, shrugged her shoulders in sweet surrender and told him, “I love you too, Harold.”

[engineclose3]

Tips For Obtaining One Of The Most Roi When Including A Sun Parlor.15 Concerns To Ask When Selecting A Home Builder.

Lennar Homes, Sale Price, As Well As Settlements.

Content

Just How The Property Improvement And Also Refurbishment Providers In London Job.

Rj Refurbishment Providers.

Begin Your Project.

Little Orangery Conservatories As Well As Glass Conservatories.

Let The Sunshine In! Whatever You Wished To Know About Sunrooms

Link your glass space to your home's HEATING AND COOLING system to readjust the temperature when the weather transforms cool. Fireplaces and mobile heaters also work to maintain the location cosy throughout the wintertime. When installing a fireplace, ensure you're complying withstandard guidelines.

You will certainly have numerous options when it pertains to doors, colours, glazing, equipment, as well as surfaces. You might also personalise to operate in the way you desire it to function. There are remarkable benefits as well as attribute which you can not obtain with a conventional extension. If you merely want even more area, we can offer you a no-obligation quote to aid you accomplish your demands.

How The Property Remodelling As Well As Repair Services In London Job.

The Ultrasky Flat Skylight can additionally be coupled with an optional kerb to sit atop. The kerb is likewise highly thermally effective and so is a superb selection to even more boost the heat within your orangery. https://trusted-builders.co.uk/bungalow-extensions/ means that the Ultrasky Apartment Skylight is unrivalled in regards to thermal efficiency among the other flat skylights on the marketplace. This implies it is the greatest option you can make if you are adding flat skylights to your orangery and also desire it to be warm and cosy, all year round.

Rj Repair Solutions.

Is Construction Management stressful?

The downside of authority is the stress that comes with it comes. Construction managers need extreme patience and excellent coping skills. During major projects, they spend long hours on job. Unpredictable weather and other factors that delay timely construction also contribute to stress.

Start Your Project.

No - orangeries are not cold in winter season, in fact they are hot. Orangery roofing systems are highly thermally effective, indicating that orangeries are warm and also comfy, whatever the moment of year. A choice of colour options for your sunroom is available to match your residence.

With so many differences between orangeries and also sunrooms, it's hard to know what one is best for your residence. You can have either mounted with nearly any kind of style of property, yet it is necessary to think about a couple of things before you get to make a final decision. Yes 17k is the best cost since the materials and labour cost will come up to 12k to 13k and also remainder of the cash is contractors obtain which he is entitled to after having all the trouble. However the best place to start will certainly always be with a general price calculation.

That being said, older homes usually have an unique architectural beauty that you seldom discover in freshly built houses, and that can sometimes counter the price of any type of future fixings or renovations.

Now that we remain in your home, everything has been excellent, no major problems.

Skanska is a Swedish based business that has lots of subsidiaries around Sweden and the world, making them one of the largest construction business on the planet.

Skanska's specialties in building and construction are in framework and also basic building construction.

They will develop bridges and roads, in addition to houses, hospitals, and institutions.

The number of houses constructed by the biggest 100 building contractors fell 11% from 40,138 to 35,909.

visit this web-site than understandable to intend to obtain the most effective bargain when we purchase something, and also it's especially real when you are wanting to purchase a "big-ticket" thing like a new conservatory for your house. So allow's take a look at what you can expect with our valuable guide to 2020 conservatory costs.

Tiny Orangery Conservatories And Also Glass Conservatories.

Just enter your information right here as well as among the experts will certainly either meet you In-Person or On-Line to discuss your job. If removing the 'thermal barrier' doors make certain the proper process has been complied with. When a house is valued for sale, the rate recommended is exercised on habitable space. An Expansion, nonetheless, is a habitable space and also the flooring area would be taken into consideration.

If you've determined that it's for you, then you'll need to determine between a three-season as well as four-season porch. Based upon this experience, you could say that the principle of a sun parlor was developed with the Minnesota environment in mind. The covering made use of in the ridge and hips of your roof covering can be provided in a contemporary aluminium or traditional tile capped layout. Fascias in a series of colours-- including rosewood and also oak--. can be supplied to boost your roofline. Our licenced and also expert contractors have years of experience in developing as well as making patio rooms that fit different client lifestyles.

Allow The Sunshine In! Every Little Thing You Wished To Know About Sunrooms

Select White for a contemporary surface, or Lotion, Rosewood, as well as Golden Oak completes for a standard appearance. You can also pick to have a timber grained exterior with a tidy White interior for the best of both globes. • Optional designs - Can be completed with gable ends or be hipped back diagonally from edges. With one wall surface currently built, they are quicker and also less costly to develop.

Preparation your brand-new orangery is an interesting process and there are numerous choices to make along the road concerning just how it will certainly look. It is very important to research your options carefully to make sure that you create the orangery that is ideal for you as well as your house. Orangeries pair better with smaller sized residences, due to their rectangular form. Covering excessive surface with an oversized orangery might ruin the aesthetic allure of your residence. You additionally wouldn't wish to cover way too much of your yard with an orangery, so take that right into account when choosing in between both.

Are Ryan Homes really that bad?

Think twice If you are buying a Ryan Home please don't. They are really bad built. We are having a lot of issues with our house and the problems come after they 1 year warranty expires. The house was built in 2018 and it worst house ever.

But that doesn't indicate there aren't basic guidelines or regulations. Below are some harsh numbers for each sort of extension that can help give you a general idea. As rate of interest start to rise, it may be that you do not wish to actually relocate from the building that you are currently residing in and also may instead want to erect an expansion to your house.

In London and also the South East, the typical price per m2 is around ₤ 1,500- ₤ 2,000+. But this can likewise depend upon your surfaces as well as what you really want from the restroom. It's worth noting that, from a planning permission viewpoint, you can have showers as well as WCs anywhere. Plans as well as consent need to make up plumbing and then the pipes in fact needs to be mounted. And also to guarantee your expansion depends on your assumptions, it's an excellent concept to get this done properly.

Is Lennar better than DR Horton?

Horton stands at 3.7% compared with 29.1% for Lennar. Hence, Lennar is a clear winner in terms of earnings growth expectation. However, Lennar has a superior average earnings surprise of 68.9% compared with D.R. Horton's 8.6%.

The pitch of the roofing can be conveniently adjusted to fit your residential or commercial property. Orangeries have long been a favourite of homeowners with a good budget plan desiring a more "significant" area without the need to construct a bricks & mortar extension. As 2 of the extra bespoke designs of room, both Little Orangery Conservatories and Glass Conservatories are not what you would call "budget conservatories". If you stay with the fundamentals, it is still possible to find a fully fitted affordable 3 × 3 sunroom for under ₤ 6,000. So, as you can see, the sort of conservatory that you want to develop will certainly have a significant effect on costs.

Ensure to utilize these heat resources just when you remain in the space as well as disconnect them when you delegate reduce your energy expenses. Glass rooms allow you to broaden your living location and delight in the outdoors without leaving the convenience of your residence. To find out even more about the Ultrasky Light and also Apartment Skylight and how they can assist to make your orangery warm as well as cosy, see this web page.

So if you properly convert a Conservatory right into an Expansion you could likewise see the value of your home increase. Have thermal splitting up from the primary dwelling with doors of an external quality. You can include many useful elements such as bi-fold doors, vaulted ceilings, floor to ceiling glazing, gliding doors, pitched ceilings, as well as a lot more.

Are new houses better than old?

New homes are typically more energy efficient than older houses, having been built with newer building materials, better insulation, and state-of-the-art tech. Older homes tend to be less energy efficient, and that can lead to higher monthly expenditures for the new owners.

We make use of products that are built with high standards to make sure that the end outcome is a beautiful addition to your residence. Our group makes an effort to finish the job quickly as well as professionally.

[doctor-who-hears-a-horton]

To Live a Better Life (Ten x Rose)

Rating: Teen and up

Chapter: 9/?

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Summary: Rose Tyler has been the secretary to the CEO of Gallifrey Inc. for nine years, and she’s ready to move on with her life. But when Mr. Smith proposes something less than practical in lieu of her resignation, what will she say?

Read it on AO3 here!

‘Bad Wolf’ was one of the most beautiful restaurants in the area, and Mr. Smith was being the perfect gentleman, which was also very strange.  He made her stay in the car and came around to open the door for her.

“Thank you,” Rose said sheepishly, taking the hand he extended and letting him pull her up.  She had a little trouble making eye contact with him, and he took her cue, releasing her hand.

“Ah, Mr. Smith!  How good to see you again.  It’s been awhile since you’ve graced our doorstep,” the host exclaimed as they entered.

Mr. Smith offered a charming smile.  “Well, it had been awhile, I was beginning to develop cravings.  This is Rose Tyler, she’ll be joining me this evening,” he gestured to her and she smiled and dipped her head.  She filed away the fact that he hadn’t introduced her as his secretary, just as the woman accompanying him.  Without her consent, she found herself admiring his efforts and looking at him with slightly new eyes.

“Well, Ms. Tyler, we’re thrilled to have you here as well.” The host beamed at her and she smiled back.

“Thank you.”

Once they were seated, Mr. Smith’s gaze landed quite forcefully on her.  “How was your day off?”

She blinked. “It was really good, thanks for asking,” she said, “How was the office without me?”

He smiled, but it looked a little sad.  “It was different.” She didn’t know how to respond to that, so she looked down at the menu, immediately panicking over the prices of the options.  She blew her cheeks out, nervous to pick something too expensive. She flipped through, looking for something that would be reasonable.

“You can get whatever you want,” he said suddenly.

“What?”

“You can get whatever you want.  Don’t worry about the price.”  His eyes were eating her alive.  “You’ve been helping me for nine years, the least I can do is pay for a nice meal for you.” She watched him for a moment, then suddenly blurted out, “What’s changed?  Why are you being like this?” He leaned on the table a bit, his gaze never breaking from hers. “Because, Miss Tyler, being sharp with you will not make you stay. And neither will being kind.”

Well, at least he’d finally understood. She could respect him for that, at least.  Maybe if they saw each other on the street they would still be able to be friendly with each other. Not that he was often seen outside of the office that much.  She nodded in response to his words, but still felt slightly uncomfortable.  She still didn’t feel alright ordering such expensive food.  

“Why don’t you choose for me?” She asked. “I don’t know what’s good here.”

He beamed at that, looking very pleased that she trusted him to order for her. “The lobster here is quite good, I haven’t had it in ages.  However, the steak is also impeccable.  They have several dishes that I find to be lacking, obviously, but there are a few that are good.”

In looking at the menu, Rose didn’t think that any of the options would be ‘lacking’, but Mr. Smith had very specific tastes and was very, very particular about the food he ate.  Rose knew that better than anyone.

“Alright, whatever you think,” she said, setting the menu down.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” He asked her.

“No, thank you. Would you like one?”  She was used to deferring to him, after all.

He peered over at her. “Not my day off.”

She decided against it, mostly because she didn’t want to not have full control of everything when she was with him.  Mr. Smith was quite curt with the staff, letting them know in no uncertain terms who he was.  It embarrassed Rose, in a way, but this was how he always was.

Talking was a little awkward, considering how their relationship was strictly professional.  Mr. Smith said something though, that finally caught her attention and held it.

“My brother is coming into town for the library opening next month,” he said, “He’ll be doing a reading of his new novel there.”

“Oh?” Rose furrowed her brow. “He’s not on the schedule.”

“I don’t particularly want him to be but… Immovable forces give me no choice.”

“Funny, I don’t think I’ve ever met your brother.”

He scoffed, taking a sip of water. “Believe me, Miss Tyler, that was not an oversight on my part.”

She furrowed her brows a little. “What?”

His eyes went a bit glassy. “He’s not a good man.”

Rose blinked, but took it at face value because she wasn’t sure that pressing the issue at this particular moment was a good idea.   “Alright,” she said uncertainty.  “I’ll have to put him on the schedule then.”  She wanted to ask who his brother was, but part of her knew that the reason Mr. Smith hadn’t said anything was because he didn’t want her to know, and she didn’t want to aggravate him when they were in such close proximity.  

Dinner went smoothly, for the most part.  He ended up ordering the steak for her, and Rose found that it was absolutely the best steak she’d had in her entire life, and Mr.Smith wasn’t bad conversation in the right context.  Perhaps he wasn’t as insufferable as she thought he was.  

He drove her home in relative silence, and walked her to her door.

“Thank you for tonight,” she said, wincing at her own words.  That made it sound far too much like this was a date.  And this most certainly was not a date.  He was her boss, and there were numerous other reasons that would not be okay.

“You’re welcome,” He said, and he looked like he was preening a bit.  Well, back to his arrogant self it was, then. She supposed she should’ve seen it coming.  Just because he’d been decent for the night didn’t mean he was a different man than the one she’d seen the day before at work.the day before.  He was still an absolute dod, and would probably continue to be one in the foreseeable future.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” She said, dipping her head and unlocking her door.  “I’ll get to sleep early and put your brother on the event schedule tomorrow morning as early as I can.”

“Excellent.  Your work is… Outstanding as usual, Miss Tyler.”  He said it quietly, almost with a sort of reverence that she’d never really heard from him before.

“Well, thank you.  Goodnight, then, Mr. Smith.”

He stood there for a moment longer, staring at her, almost asking her to invite him in.  She met his gaze and stared back.  She would not be taken down by a man.  She didn’t know what he wanted, but with this particular situation, she would assume the worst.  Maybe that was wrong, but her upbringing taught her to be careful.  

“Goodnight.  I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He faltered a bit and then nodded harshly before turning back to his car and leaving her standing on her little porch.  She watched him drive away and then went inside her flat.  She got ready for bed, still feeling as confused as ever, but not having any idea what Mr. Smith’s ultimatum was.  He’d been genuinely kind and she’d had a… Well, she’d had a nice time.  WIth him.  

She shook her head, getting into bed and facing the wall.  She was already sick of thinking about it.  

********

A knock on Jack’s door made him start, but of course he knew exactly who it was.  He rolled his eyes and got up to answer it.  “Hello,” he said, looking at John, unamused.  “What can I do for you?”

“I believe I took Miss Tyler on a date tonight, and she still seems unsure of my intentions.”

Jack sighed, stepping back from the door and gesturing towards his living room with a grand, sweeping gesture.  “Come on in.”

Once Mr. Smith was seated, he started telling his story. “I don’t know what to do. I took her to the most expensive restaurant in the city, I was desperately kind to her.  I don’t know what she wants from me!”

“Did you tell her it was a date?” Jack asked wearily.

“What?”

“Oh God, you didn’t, did you?”  Jack put his head in his hands. “John, you have to actually tell a woman you want to date her.”

“I haven’t pursued a woman in years!” Mr. Smith cried out. “Ridiculous! Women fall over me all the time, I have to fight them off.  But suddenly-”

“Suddenly there’s a woman worth fighting for, boss.  That makes all the difference.”  

He frowned, but something in Jack told him he knew he was right.  Rose actually meant something to John, and that’s why it was so hard for him.  And he’d lose her if he wasn’t careful.  She already had one foot out the door.

“You think I’m not being forward enough.” “I know you’re not being forward enough.”

Mr. Smith frowned and looked down at his hands. “Hm.  Perhaps I should reconsider my methods.”

“You definitely should.”

*****

The next morning, Rose found herself still confused but pushing it all to the side. She hardly had the time to think about Mr. Smith’s weird habits and behaviors.  However, she was still confused, and so distracted that she found herself running into a man in the lobby of the building.  “Oh!” She cried out, almost dropping her bag.  

“Whoa, easy there.” The man she’d run into took her by the elbows, steadying her.  He was handsome, all sandy blonde hair and sweet smiles.  She found herself smiling back at him without really meaning to.

“Sorry,” She laughed, “Was sort of thinking.”

“No worries.  Quite a good start to my day actually.” The man laughed.  “Harold Saxon, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” “Rose Tyler.”  She took a step back, out of his grasp.  “I’ve never seen you in the building before, do you have business with someone?”

“Yes, I’m here to see my brother.  John Smith?”

“Oh!” Rose’s eyes widened.  “You’re the author!”

He winked at her. “Oh, don’t pretend like you haven’t read my books.  Most of the female population has.” “I probably have,” Rose laughed good naturedly.  “I could take you up to Mr. SMith, though.  I’m his secretary.”

“Funny, he never mentioned having a beautiful secretary,” Mr. Saxon said, almost on a purr, and Rose blushed.

“Well, Mr. Smith isn’t keen on objectification,” Rose smiled pleasantly.  “But I’ll take you to him now, he should be in.”  She brushed past Mr, Saxon and walked up the flight of stairs to his office, trusting that the man would follow behind her.  She eased the heavy door open, signaling for Harold to stay behind.  “Good morning, Mr. Smith,’ she said upon opening the door.  

“Good morning, Miss Tyler,” He said, removing his glasses and regarding her carefully.  “What is it?”

“Your-”

She was cut off by his phone ringing, and he held up his finger before answering.  “Hello?” He sounded frustrated, and when the person on the other end of the phone started speaking, he only got more frustrated. “What?!”  He said, his voice raising in pitch, “They’re doing what?” He looked at Rose.  “We’ll be there.”  He hung up the phone and go to his feet.  “We need to go.”

“What’s going on?” “Our sweet rival company is opening their media center in two weeks.  They’re trying to beat out our library opening.  So, we need to go to the library to see what we can do to open it early.”

“Right now?” “Right now.” “Well, alright, but you should know that your brother is here.” Mr. Smith froze, a cool mask of indifference settling over his face.  “He spoke to you?” ‘Yes.”

“Put him on the schedule and send him away.  We don’t need to speak with him today.  Then we can go.”

[samwrights]

Homesick // Finale

Summary: Tony and Pepper’s daughter Madelyn just graduated from Midtown School of Science and Technology. Without her parents knowledge, she managed to land an internship with her dad’s business to keep her busy over the summer and to prepare her for what she wants to do with her future. But she isn’t the only one with a Stark Enterprises internship—and now she’s stuck working with some overly excited ongoing sophomore named Peter Parker.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Pairing: Stark!Daughter x Peter (OC) Words: 3,900 Loop: Forever//Over // EDEN Left Hand Free // Alt-J

Endless nights, we were infinite. Summer’s end would mean the death of us. VIII.

As promised, Elly and Peter never talked about the impending end of their relationship. Instead, they did their best to fulfill a makeshift bucket list to count down the days until Elly’s birthday. Each day, internship or not, was filled with a brand new adventure. They were such simple things like a movie marathon for an entire twenty four hours or going to the beach or a concert together. Elly’s birthday was the following day, her first week of college was on Monday, and every second that they spent together was not enough. Both of them were afraid of the conversation that needed to happen, but Peter refused to let it ruin the dinner plans he made for her tonight. Even so, he couldn’t stop fidgeting with the watch on his left wrist as he waited for Elly, Tony, and much to his surprise, Pepper at the table. According to Elly, she had finally gathered the courage to call her mother and convince her to come back to the Tower in small doses.

Pepper and Tony finally had talked things out, agreeing that being together was what their little family needed, and that had helped Elly substantially. Even with such great things happening with her family and her happiness, Peter felt it almost wasn’t his place to be included as a contribution. Because even as wonderful as the last three months had been, they both knew it would all end with the summer. May noticed how much he was fussing around with whatever he could get his hands on, causing concern in her to arise. “Peter, everything okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” He mumbled, not making eye contact with her.

“You don’t fool me, you know.” Peter groaned internally, knowing his aunt wouldn’t let up. Either that, or his anxiety was gnawing at him so much that he wanted to believe his aunt was going to pressure him into talking about it.

“I-I’m not ready for today to be over. Because after this, her internship is over and Elly and I are going to be over a-and that scares me. I have spent seventy two days with Elly from sunrise to sunset and I don’t know what I’m going to do after today. She’s become such a normal part of my day to day life that I-I don’t know if I can go back to being normal after this.” Before he had realized it, he was crying. He wanted to say so much more, but words were failing at conveying how he really felt. May looked at her nephew, sympathetic of his breaking heart.

“Peter, it doesn’t matter how many days it has been. It’s, um...” May paused, treading cautiously with her next words. “It’s dangerous, to create homes out of people—to feel like you are only your best self when you are with that person. I know that better than anyone. Because when they’re gone, it will always feel like you’re homesick.” A single tear slid down May’s cheek as well, her late husband’s face flashing through her memories. On the one hand, she was glad she was able to share her expertise on the subject. On the other, she had almost wished Peter never had to feel as homesick as she did. “But I will tell you one thing. In my experience, it’s impossible to not create homes out of the people you love.” The ‘L word’ hit Peter hard, his eyes wide open as he gawked at May. But he didn’t rebuttal because he knew she was right.

Seventy two days, not including the week he had spent in Germany apart of from her, was all it took for Peter to fall in love with Elly. Seventy two days of her smile, her laugh, her smarts, her wit, her composure, her presence, and her vulnerability. He was homesick already.

The Stark family finally arrived, each of them dressed to the nines. Elly was glowing and all smiles as she greeted May and gave Peter a brief peck on the lips that ended all too quickly. All five of them were gathered at the round table, with Peter on Elly’s left hand side and her dad to her right. Joyous giggles filled their group as she talked about how excited she was to start her classes at Empire State University. Her enthusiasm simultaneously filled Peter with both dread and pride. Throughout the night, May was playing double agent. She was trying to show support to Elly in her journey into college, but also kept a close eye on Peter to make sure his heart didn’t shatter.

As dessert arrived, Peter felt his internal clock ticking down the minutes and he hated every second of it. Still, his facade never slipped as he celebrated his soon to be ex-girlfriend’s blowing of her birthday candles. The evening was coming to a close, and to prolong it by just mere minutes, Peter excused himself to the washroom to gather his thoughts before everyone went their separate ways. Nobody thought anything of it, and nobody thought anything of it when Tony excused himself as well short after. Upon entering the men’s room, he saw Peter splashing water on his face, taking note of his swollen eyes. “You got a second, kid?”

“Uh, yeah.” Peter tried to sound put together in front of his boss, making his voice just a bit deeper. But, judging by the unsettled look on Tony’s face, he wasn’t succeeding.

“I just want to say you have made my daughter so incredibly happy this past summer. But you know what’s coming, and I need to get something off my chest.” Subconsciously, he tapped on his arc reactor. “Don’t ever stop choosing Elly.”

“W-what?”

“You heard me. I had to break my own kid’s heart after we got back from Germany and tell her her own uncle chose an old friend over family—over her. I know you guys have to do this because of age of consent and all, but don’t ever stop choosing her.”

“M-Mr. Stark? I-I don’t...I don’t understand.” Tony sighed, unsure of how to phrase his words to properly convey the message he wanted to give.

“Things are going to be mess, kid. And it’s going to be really hard for a while. But if you love my daughter like she loves you, choose to make decisions with her well-being in mind, even after tonight.” With that, Tony exited the restroom, leaving Peter awestruck. He would be lying if he said he completely understood his boss’ words. But he didn’t question it and, instead, focused on keeping those words close to his soul. Don’t ever stop choosing her.

Peter had felt his heart grow heavier as he returned to the table. Pepper and Tony were giving Elly elegantly wrapped gift boxes, which she gladly opened. May put a hand on Peter’s shoulder as they watched—instantly noticing his ashen face. “She will love it.” May whispered in encouragement. In response, he grabbed her hand with one his and squeezed it. If it weren’t for aunt May today, or any other day really, he wasn’t sure would be able to handle this situation. Pepper and Tony had given Elly a short diamond necklace paired with a black velvet choker with matching diamond studs. Though small and simple, the gesture made Peter’s gift feel insignificant. But he did what he could to not let that thought bother him. His gift had sentimental value and he knew Elly well enough to know she would appreciate it.

Dinner had officially come to a close and each person had went their separate ways, save for Peter and Elly. “Hey, can we take a drive to the pier?” He asked after their families were nowhere in sight. Elly raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Usually, I’m the one asking you that, but sure thing.” It was quiet as they got into her car and while Elly knew something was wrong, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him what. As they started driving, the radio playing different songs that rang somber and neither of them could tell if A.A.R.O.N had been doing so intentionally. Elly’s hand strayed from the steering wheel to hold his as an offering of comfort. Still, they say in silence until they arrived at the pier where they had their first kiss. “Okay, what’s wrong, Peter?” She finally asked. He let go of her hand and turned to face his girlfriend while shuffling around in his pocket. He pulled out a tiny navy blue velvet box.

“I-I didn’t get you anything super amazing for your birthday, but I think it’s time we finally have our talk.” Nerves that Elly had long forgotten filled her gut. With both hands, he peeled open the velvet box, revealing a thin rose gold ring with a small pearl set in the center. It looked incredibly delicate—something to reflect the current state of their relationship.

“O-okay.” She hesitated.

“Elly, we have spent exactly seventy nine days in a relationship a-and they have been the most incredible seventy nine days. But knowing the world knows who your dad is, I-I don’t want any trouble to ever come to you in the event that the public discovered I’m not the legal age of consent yet.” Elly nodded very slowly, taking in his words. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she feared for the same. She was afraid of people finding out who she was and finding any spec of dirt to some form of revenge against her dad. She couldn’t do that to him. “But I wanted to give you this.” He says finally, holding her left hand with his right, the ring in his other.

“I-it’s beautiful, Peter.” Elly says in a hushed mumble as he slides the small ring on.

“I wanted to make a promise to you. I promise I will always protect you and be here for you. And the second I turn seventeen, I will come running back.”

“R-really?” After placing the promise ring onto her finger, Peter cupped her cheek gingerly before pulling her into a deep kiss. It was delicate and fragile and full of the goodbyes that he didn’t want to say.

“I don’t want this to be the end, Elly. I really don’t.”

“I don’t either.” Peter rested his forehead onto hers with his eyes scrunched his eyes close. Slowly, they opened to stare longingly into her blue eyes. He didn’t want to do this; he wasn’t ready. How was Peter supposed to come home everyday, knowing that he didn’t spend the entirety of his day surrounded by her warmth and support of him getting stronger? Elly was mirroring every emotion that was running through his head as tears spilled along her cheeks. While moving onto college was well and exciting, what was she supposed to come home to without him there? With trembling lips, she pulled him in for what she hoped wasn’t their last kiss. Tiny gasps of air broke their lip lock as she sobbed, but neither of them dared to move away. They needed every millisecond of this last moment.

Elly threaded shaky fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, desperate to hang onto him. Their tongues laced with each other, pouring their passion into one another. Neither of them wanted to pull away, but before they said their goodbyes, she needed to tell him. “Peter, I-I love you.” She sniffled, wiping away her tears before holding his hands. The glint of the pearl on her ring finger caught the light of the pier.

“I love you, Madelyn Joyce Stark.” He took a leap of faith, saying those three little words he never dared to say before. But he needed to say it—he needed her to know. “In ten months, when we can finally be together again, I will come running home to you. I promise.”

Two months had passed since Elly’s eighteenth birthday and her and Peter had hardly spoken. College was okay, but she felt herself overwhelmed with seventeen semester hours, trying to social while commuting to school daily, and had the fortunately unfortunate task of creating a new suit for Peter per the request of her dad. She had made one friend so far in university—a spunky boy whom was also a freshman by the name of Scott Price. His relaxed attitude that accompanied both of their high stress responses to their work load had made the two of them get along exceptionally well. He was the only comfort she had since Peter had kept their contact to minimum. Pete always said he was working on a project with Ned or out on his internship, which she knew was true since she had seen local papers of the mysterious Spider-Man. Elly had also found out from her dad about Peter’s entire encounter with Vulture. That conversation ended up leading to the heartbreaking information of finding out that Peter was briefly dating now senior and Vulture’s daughter, Liz Toomes, before she ended up moving to the other end of the country. Elly remembered Liz. She was beautiful and smart and popular and it was no wonder Peter fell for her. That never stopped betrayal from poisoning Elly’s heart.

At the moment, Elly and Scott were sitting at a coffee shop on campus working on their chemistry assignment. They were griping over getting different answers despite using the same formula, or rather Elly was essentially tutoring him. After they both arrived to the correct answer, Elly’s phone rang her usual tone of Alt-J’s ‘Left Hand Free’. Her mom’s name flashed on the screen. “Hey mom, what’s up?”

“Hey, honey. What time are you going to be home tonight? Your dad and I are calling a press conference.”

“Oh, I can be home as soon as you need me to. What’s the press conference for?”

“Your dad is introducing Peter as the world’s newest avenger.” Elly went quiet as her heart throbbed in envy.

“Understood, mom.” She responded quietly before cutting off the call as to prevent her emotions from getting loose. Her best friend took an immediate notice.

“Everything okay?” The tall brunette asked.

“Y-yeah, I just have to get home for some important meeting.” She lied. This time around, the administration knew of who Madelyn was, but the student body was still completely oblivious and Scott was no exception to that. “I’ll see you tomorrow in chem?”

“For sure, get home safe!” Scott was all smiles, and it put Elly at temporary ease. She got into her car and headed straight home to the brand new, relocated Avenger’s Tower in upstate New York, trying to focus on controlling her fidgeting instead of focusing on her nerves. It was the first time she would be seeing Peter since their break up and their lack of communication made her anxious. As soon as she got home, Elly went straight to her room to get ready for the press conference. Granted, she always sat in the front row and never went on stage. On rare occasions, she would do damage control and fake being a reporter but she was hoping she could stay far away from that tonight.

After doing her make up and pulling half of her wavy brown hair up, Elly dressed in a black halter skater dress with an open back and white pumps. She needed to slay the press conference today, if only for herself. She took the elevator up towards the floor the third to the top—a floor that was mostly used for meetings. “Oh, there you are, honey!” Pepper called out, clipboard in hand, as she went to hug her daughter.

“Hey, mom. Where’s dad?”

“He is—“

“Right here!” Tony called out, walking up to the ladies of his life with arms wide open. He gave his daughter a peck on her temple before giving Pepper a kiss to her lips. It made Elly happy to see her parents getting along again, but it was only enough to temporarily distract her. “Stark family, ready to rock?” Pepper gave a laugh before heading back to the conference room, Elly in tow. More footsteps came thudding through the hall and Elly knew it had to be Peter. “Oh, there they are!” She heard her dad say, causing her to walk with more ferocity. But he saw her. Only a glimpse, but he saw her. He wanted to chase after her, but Tony stopped him by repeatedly patting his shoulder before wrapping an arm around him. He apologized for taking away the original Spider-Man suit or something or other, but Peter would be lying if he said he was listening.

“Mr. Stark, I really—“

“You screwed the pooch, hard, on this one, but then you did the right thing.” For some reason, Peter felt that Tony wasn’t just talking about taking away the suit anymore. After a couple more poor analogies, he turned Peter slightly to face him more as they continued to walk towards the conference room. “I was wrong about you. I think with a little mentoring, you could be a real asset to the team.” With a couple more pats to his shoulder, Tony’s way of showing his daughter’s ex affection, he let the teenager go before opening the door to the conference room. As much as Tony refused to admit it, he had grown fond of the spider-ling over time.

“T-to the team?”

“Yeah, there’s about fifty reporters behind that door; real ones, not bloggers.” Tony said, clicking a few buttons on his watch, opening up a fake wall. “When you’re ready, why don’t you try that on? And I can officially introduce the world to the newest Avenger: Spider-Man” Peter’s eyes nearly fell out of his as he laid his eyes on a brand new Spider-Man suit. He began laughing nervously, mostly due to shock. It was stunning, he couldn’t stop staring—and he knew. He knew Elly had made it. He wasn’t sure how, but the intricate detailing, the shade of navy in the fabric had Madelyn Joyce Stark written all over it.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. But I’m-I’m good.”

“You’re...good? What do you mean, ‘you’re good’?”

“I-I-I mean would rather just stay on the ground, for a little while. You know, friendly, neighborhood, Spider-Man. Somebody’s got to look out for the little guy.”

“You turning me down?” Tony asked in disbelief, taking off his signature sunglasses. “Think about this. Look at that, look at the hard work Elly put into that suit, for you, kid. Last chance, yes or no?”

“No.” Peter replied all too quickly. At that moment, Tony couldn’t decide if he was proud of the kid or wanted to punch him in the face. His daughter had slaved over her newest creation, and he was denying her. He decided to go with the former and sucked in a breath.

“O-kay, then. Happy will, uh, take you home.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. I’ll see you around.” Peter walked backwards to give him and Happy a brief moment, but his eyes never left the suit his ex-girlfriend made. His heart swelled with pride and guilt, but mostly guilt. Knowing her, she put her all into doing it despite him knowing she was hurt. He turned away finally, hearing the door shut. The door was shut.

Pepper popped out of the conference room, staring at Tony who’s face clearly showed a mixture of emotions. “Where’s the kid?” She asked, refusing to call him by name. While Tony was fond of him, Pepper wasn’t as much. Stupid kid broke her daughter’s heart. “Everybody’s waiting.”

“You know, he actually made a really mature choice again, just surprised the heck out of me.”

“Are you joking? I have a room full of people waiting for some big announcement, what are we going to tell them?” She seethed—how the hell Tony managed to screw up another press conference was beyond her.

“I got an idea. Go wait inside, I’ll be in there in a minute. And make sure Madelyn’s on stage for this one.” Pepper’s eyes widened. Their daughter was never on stage at a press conference. The look of disbelief did not go amiss. “Just go, I’ll be right there.” He reassured, pressing a quick kiss to Pepper’s forehead before she went back into the conference room grumbling to herself. “You still got that ring, Happy?”

“Are you kidding, I’ve been carrying this thing around for eight years!” His head of security responded excitedly, pulling out a black velvet box from his pocket.

“Perfect, it’s show time.” Together, Tony and Happy entered the noisy conference room, everyone instantly shouting out his name. He stood on the stage, giving a prompt wave to get everybody to quiet down. Happy stood to his right, Pepper and Elly to his left. “Thank you all, for being here today. I know everybody is expecting a big announcement and I don’t want to delay anyone any further. I’ve been delaying this announcement for eighteen years.” Confused murmurs began to buzz. Elly perked her head up, her dad’s speech taking a very unexpected turn. “I would love to introduce to the world, the daughter of Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts and myself—Madelyn Joyce Stark.” A spotlight fell onto Elly, making her stare around the room.

“H-hi.” She said quietly as her dad handed her a microphone. “I am the daughter of Pepper Potts and Tony Stark?” Elly fumbled around with words unsure of what to say and her parents knew it. Questions were firing rapidly at her, and she had no idea how to respond. Seeing her drowning at the attention, Tony took the microphone back.

“One more thing, before we take questions. I’ve been delaying something else that is long overdue.” He held the microphone in one hand as he got down on one knee, his eyes focused on Pepper. “Honey, I haven’t been a model boyfriend to you, but thanks to our wonderful, smart daughter—I want to prove to you that I will be a better husband. Hopefully I’m just as good of a husband as I am father. Virginia Potts, will you marry me?” Pepper’s mouth hung wide open as her, and her daughter’s, eyes both began to well with tears. A sniffle escaped her nose as she tried to hold back sobs of joy as she nodded over and over. Tony slid the ring he had held onto for all those years onto the finger of his bride-to-be before giving her a long kiss and hugging his family. A wave of confidence washed over Elly, the joy that was surging through her family was giving her strength to take the microphone from her dad.

“There you have it, folks. The Stark family. We will now take your questions!” Elly jeered, the room exploding with overlapping clamor. She was distracted by the all the talk as she held the microphone in her right hand and answering questions, all the while subconsciously spinning the rose gold promise ring on her finger. Nobody seemed to notice except for the lone, sixteen year old boy standing at the back of the room who had snuck his way into press conference. Peter had seen her. But more importantly, she saw him.

TAG LIST

@xxoerinnoxx @araeni @maddieisaacs @iwillbesmall-promise

I hope you all enjoyed this series! There will eventually be sequel, but until then, please check out my other works  >Here<  and check out the teaser I posted for my next series, titled The Game. First chapter will be posted THIS SATURDAY, July 14. I hope to see you all there!

xo Sam.

[one-of-us-must-be-crazy]

I love the fics that have Ripley and Samuels as these perfect soul-mates but wouldn't they have to have problems at some time?

They can and they do, and I want to get into it eventually once I have them “settled” (no longer going into fight or flight at the sound of the elevator stalling, at someone shouting outside; finally being able to sleep with out the vents sealed off). 

Most of their issues will come from the fact that no matter how aware that Christopher is that he’s welcome to have his own thoughts and opinions, Amanda will still have to ask him to tell or show her what he thinks/wants. 

I’d imagine it will go something like this.

*hastily written ficlet under the cut*

It only started with a ‘Do you want to watch a movie with me?’ Nights in were less expensive on wallets and emotions, and the privacy gave them much-needed time to be close. Outside they’re still afraid of being noticed, still worried about everyone’s reactions--about the company finding out. Even though they legally have nothing they can do or say, there’s still the nagging fear that something could come between them if they’re found out.

But nights in and guards down left it open for a plethora of problems beyond simply being seen.

“For once just tell me, it’s not that hard--” 

“I genuinely would prefer whichever one you’d like.”

“And I don’t have an opinion!” Amanda’s at the end of her rope; tired of his self-sacrificial habits, tired of his shying away and backing down, of letting her cut him off in conversation, of not even voicing a preference for which side of a recently-colder bed he’d like. She’s wondered more than once if this was a ridiculous mistake, not just for what he is, but even if he was...Real? A human? Don’t I tell him that he is exactly that? Do I believe it?...she still would have the same--or at least similar--reservations. They never exactly dated. They had their short friendship on the Torrens, and ended up anchored safely to reality again in the other’s arms after what they’d been through. 

Not including cryo, she has known him for a total of 34 waking days before she invited him to say with her, and it terrifies her.

“I know that you don’t like the older dramas, so if you want to see something else and it would make you happier then--”

“But you like the older dramas. Why can’t you ever just take what you want? Do something on your own?”

“It is, quite literally, hard wired into me to prefer whatever pleases you more.”

“Then fucking rewrite it becuase I don’t want you falling over trying to--Jesus, what is this?” It’s been infuriating, not once in this exchange has he raised his voice at all, and it only made her louder until she was nearly screaming.

“You have assured me so many times that you understand and accept that I’m not a person and I am...endlessly grateful for it but you don’t seem to understand it as well as you claim to. My purpose and design is to make your life easier--”

“And you’re not doing that right now.”

“If you know which of the films I’d rather be watching and it upsets you this much to see your choice of them, then choose the other instead.”

“But it isn’t just the damn movies, it’s everything. For God’s sake we argued over making tea or coffee yesterday. We could have had both. And you...Write over whatever coding is telling you that you’re so inferior and--”

“I am your inferior. In so many ways, and I wish you saw your own value.” 

This circle would keep going; one part of her knows that he’s right, knows that she doesn’t give herself enough credit as a person, as someone that exists. The other part of her curls up in a back corner of her brain, sobbing uncontrollably over every awful and unforgivable thing she’s ever done, and that her housemate was ever more deserving than she was of anything. Maybe it’s over, she wonders, as nice as it’s been, as great as he was for the past few months as their true selves start to show they’ll probably fall apart. It always happens this way. It’s why she told herself no more live-in lovers. 

“Turn on your movie, I’m going across the street for beers. Do you want anything?”

“You shouldn’t be drinking with your medications.”

“I don’t give a fuck; I’m having a bottle of beer.”

“Amanda--”

“Have you actually ever consented to anything we’ve done with your own words? Or have you just been saying what your calculator brain tells you I want to hear” So long as we’re having an uncomfortable argument I might as well get that out.

“‘Consent’?” he pauses, not that he really needs that much time to think, but mimicking  her breaks in speech feels better, it gives weight and meaning to the words that follow more than they would have if he just continued. “You’re referring to...intimacy.”

“I’m not, but--yes, I am, I mean everything. Have you ever said anything that you’ve meant? Would you mean it if you didn’t know it was what I wanted? Could you?”

“I-I don’t know.” He feels small around her most of the time, but even more when she’s upset; it’s usually his fault or else something he cannot help her with, and being useless for anything goes directly against his instincts, his basic coding, and causes logic misreads in his head that blur his surroundings. “I know that I cared about you before I met you. I had the...sentience needed to love you before I knew that you would even want to approach me for companionship let alone... But since then? I don’t know. I feel as if I’ve enjoyed everything we have.” 

“I don’t know if that’s enough.”

“Can this wait until tomorrow?” she’s still standing close enough to him that he can slightly reach out to her, tuck a few strands of hair that have escaped her ponytail behind her ear. “We’ve already missed a good bit of both films and...” if we’re over I want one more evening to hold onto you. 

“...I’m going to get the beer, and I’ll be back. Do you want anything?”

it’s strange, they both think it: he can request things when she asks this, he can get himself something if he’d want it, but when it involves another person, a human, he has no idea of what if any of his actions are ones he’d want if she didn’t. Still it’s all so abstract; he loves her, he feels like he means what he says, and for now it’s enough for him even if it isn’t for her.

“I’m alright, thank you. Is there anything I can do?”

“No...I just....We need work or a programmer or something.” Playing house with him has felt more normal than anything she’s ever done and simultaneously so dreamlike she reaches out to be sure he’s there every morning when she wakes up. 

“We’ll think of something,” he offers her a slight smile, and she accepts it with a brief, tight hug before heading towards the door.

“I really hope we do.”

[ask-de-writer]

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : World of Sea : Part 11

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

copyright 2018

written 2007

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions. All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story?  Read from the beginning.  PART 1 is here

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Chapter 3a: Kurti

Captain Barad Maks brooded on his sybaritically appointed bunk.  At last, I’m finally going to get completely even, maybe ahead of the Longin.  It’s not so much that they’ve avoided my nets or even that they’ve tangled me in every net that I’ve cast their way — — — Skill I can admire.  It was almost getting me fed to the Strong Skins at my first Gathering as Captain.  Mord had nothing to gain by exposing my game.  He near got me killed and for what? Nothing!  He was already a captain and there were no other good candidates.  I chose my time carefully in that regard.

He rolled out of bed and began to dress.  His new cabin-girl, Kurti, quickly came out of the bed and helped him with his sleeves and the tying of his sash and neck-cloth.  She offered no word, out of fear. I wonder what really happened to Chena?  Nobody seems to know. One evening she was here and the next day the Captain chose me to replace her.  They say it was food poisoning but she was the only one.  Whatever happened to her, I don’t want it to happen to me!  She looked at the Captain critically and took a chance on speech, saying, “I think perhaps this hat, with the Wide Wing plume.  It will make a dashing appearance.”

Smiling tolerantly at the girl’s obvious fear, he replied, “By the Dragons, Ch . . . Kurti, isn’t it?  I’m only going about the ship for an inspection.  I need to see Master Selked on a small matter. That’s all.”

Kurti smiled tentatively in return and said, “True, Sir.  Ch . . . your previous cabin-girl did not dress you well.  I think that you will gain even more respect if you always dress well.”  She paused and considered for a moment before adding, “Unless the part that you are acting needs something else.”

Barad actually found it in him to beam, genuinely pleased, his vanity stroked.  He patted her cheek gently and said, “Very well, Kurti, I will let you decide my dress for most occasions, even the most trivial.  If it goes well for morale you will have my appreciation, which is no small thing.

“If it does nothing, it will be remembered to your credit as an honest try to help.  In spite of what you may have heard, I do remember those on my side.”

Kurti was afraid to ask what had happened to Chena.  The answer would have surprised her.  Captain Barad would have told her with complete candor what happened.  He was no fool to blab secrets where they could escape and he knew that she could not get away.  What few people, even those closest to him, understood was that he was not ashamed of or bothered by anything that he had ever done.  Nor did they understand how swiftly he could change course completely if he believed himself to be wrong.

As he walked the familiar grimy corridors of the Grandalor, going to the boat-shop, he felt a buoyant spring to his step.  He felt as good as he looked.  He had not paid much attention to casual dress before, and found that it did have an immediate effect on his own morale. His own mood of self confidence communicated itself to those who saw him.  Crew-folk who saw him coming sprang alertly out of his path instead of clearing the way sullenly.

The Captain knocked at the entrance of the shop and waited for Selked’s call of “Enter!” before he did.

Captain Barad looked approvingly about the meticulously tidy shop.  There were many kits of tools for every purpose on the sea, each bearing the marks of the Grandalor and Selked, piled neatly on every surface. From the overhead beams around the roof-skylight-hatch hung net bags filled with scrapers, bow-drills, and many other tools to be sold singly.

Selked, Master Boat-wright and tool maker, sat before his bench working on sets of sail stitching tools.  Each set was in a fitted box of glued Strong Skin lined with the Gula’s finest velvet.  Captain Barad admired Selked’s work and had never interfered with it.  Selked’s tools of all types were famous throughout the fleet for their uncompromisingly high quality.

The awl shafts that Selked was presently mounting to handles were all of the hardest, densest Wing Ray bone.  The light yellow striations alternating with a delicate brown running the length of each shaft told its origin and value better than any amount of sales talk could.  Noticing that there were three shafts more than there were handles, Captain Barad reached out to pick one up to examine more closely.

Selked’s laconic, “Shouldn’t touch that’un, if I were you,” brought him to a quick stop, fingers only inches away from the pointed shaft.

“I wanted to see it more closely.  There seems to be a defect in the bone pattern,” said the Captain mildly.

“There is.  That’s why I’m mounting this one instead,” said Selked. He pushed home the spike of the awl he was assembling, using a pair of special pliers to handle it, as he seated it into soft glue in the handle’s hole.  He carefully wiped the excess glue with a shaped tool to get a smooth fairing between handle and shaft.

He took his marking tool of Hag beak, wiped on the mordant bone marking ink and placed his mark onto it, slightly off kilter, and just a touch blurred.

Setting the tool into the last place in a kit box, he closed it and handed it to the Captain.

“This is the kit you want for your little scheme.  Sorry that it took as long as it did to make but, as you noticed, I had some trouble getting the Ord spines to take the dye properly.”

Casually, he added, “All the rest of the kit but the awl spike is Merk’s last bungled piece of work.  He tried to take one shortcut too many the other night.  Didn’t use the handling pliers on the very spine that you were reaching for when he poked it into Chena’s snack.  I found him when I opened the shop next morning.  Passed it off as blood poisoning from an infected cut.”

“Thanks for the timely warning.  This kit should be just what is needed and ready in plenty of time.”  Barad considered for a second and added admiringly, “Those spines must have been difficult to work with.”

“They were, Captain. — — May I ask what the occasion is?”

“This?” Barad gestured at his clothing and smiled, “It’s my new cabin-girl’s idea.  Kurti thinks that if I dress the part of Captain better, I will have more respect from the crew.  Speaking of which, choose who you will for your next apprentice.  I’ll see that you get your choice.”

Selked replied seriously, “My thanks, Captain.  You know, Kurti could be right about that.  You project more of an air of authority along with your power.  If she lives up to her other duties as well, she could be well worth keeping.  Pretty too.  You do have an eye for them, Sir.”

Lightly Barad returned, “I pride myself on it.  By the way, I am planning a game of Three Dragons in my cabin tonight.  Would you care to join?”

“My pleasure, Captain.  Tonight then!”

Captain Barad continued his tour of the ship.  It appeared that Kurti was right.  Obedience to his orders and suggestions was prompter and less sullen.  The lack of respect, even as the crew followed orders, that had plagued his captaincy appeared to be dissolving.  And for such a small thing!

He found First Officer Timms on the quarter deck seeing to the butchering a freshly caught four-ton Strong Skin.  All of the men were wearing full foul weather waterproofs and gloves.  A crew, similarly dressed waited by with mops and buckets to clean up. Mister Timms was applying spots of red weed paste to the fish and its skin.  Far too much of the paste was turning the sickly dangerous green that signaled Ord contamination.

“Mister Timms!  How goes the effort to find a use for the Ord in fishing?”

He looked up from his work and answered, “This one is the best so far. Out of ten fish, we have gotten less than fifteen tons of meat and lost over half of the hides to contamination.

“The toxin spreads so fast!  I have tried infusions in bait, Ord spine in the harpoon points and this. . . We harpooned it in the usual way and pricked it with a spine on a pole to kill it.  You can see for yourself.  We got the most hide, this time.”  He cast a glance at the lean form of the dead predator.  “Just over three-fourths.”

Barad actually looked pleased.  The wind played in the plume of his hat. “Give over the effort, Mister Timms.  You have tried all that could be reasonably be done.  I will want all of your notes to append to the log entry.”

“Very good, Sir.  Working around this stuff was making me nervous, to tell you the truth.”  He cleaned his gloves and sleeves meticulously in a bucket before he took them off.  He added a few notes to a small sheaf and handed them to the Captain.

Barad nodded his head solemnly.  “It was too good an idea not to try. It’s a pity that it didn’t work better.”  He walked to a companionway and went down into the ship.

The Purser’s scriptorium was his last stop.  The newly pirated Ephemerides were coming along nicely and some copies were already bound.

“Excellent work, Morgu.  If we can get twenty copies of each volume, I know just who will buy them and how to promote them.”

Morgu looked up from his high desk in the corner of the room and gave a rare, thin mouthed smile at the praise.  “We should have them done by the Gathering, though it will be a near thing.”

“Excellent! I need a small favor.  On these notes here, can you add a brief remark about the loss of one spine, apparently dropped overboard? You should have seen it happen to give credibility to the loss.  The note should be in Mister Timms’ hand.”

TO BE CONTINUED

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