#the extent to which is yet to be expressed but still

[sunnydiet]

uncle jack saying “i’ll call you later” and charlie responding “i know u will” is something that can be so personal.

[satoruxx]

you're sweating when you wake up, skin sticking painfully to your bedsheets as your bleary eyes dart around, attempting to make focus of your surroundings. the room is still dark, barely touched by the slight bit of moonlight that attempts to peak through the closed windows—defiant. it takes a minute to realize that the sounds that are breaking the silence are actually coming from your own throat—breathy, wheezing gasps of terror.

your stomach drops when your fingers grip cold and empty fabric. he's gone he's gone he's go—

"what are you doing up, pretty?"

your head snaps to the doorway. satoru stands there, sweats hanging low on his hips even as his hand remains curled around a glass of water. his hair is tousled with sleep, but his cerulean eyes are sharp and lively.

as soon as he sees the panic lacing your expression, his eyes widen, long legs practically tripping over themselves as he stumbles towards you.

"what happened?" he asks sharply, frantically placing the cup on the bedside table to take your face into his palms. shades of blue dart back and forth across your features as he perches one knee on the mattress and peers down at you. "are you okay?"

his touch sends electricity through your veins—a splash of ice water pulling you away from that painful reverie.

your heart both clenches and soars, the idea of what you saw being terrifying, and yet finding out it wasn't true being that much more relieving.

"i just—" your voice comes out choked, and satoru's fingers twitch against your skin imperceptibly. "had a bad dream."

you think your brain must be cruel for conjuring up a dream in which satoru could suffer to such abhorrent extents.

"oh sweets." satoru's sigh is sympathetically soft, thumb brushing over the apple of your cheek just barely. "it was just a nightmare."

"i know," you swallow, voice shaking. there's an uncharacteristic wetness pooling at your waterline. "i-it just felt so real."

"baby..." satoru immediately pulls you against the steady planes of his chest, thick arms snaking around your waist to eliminate any measly amount of distance between you two. you prop your chin on his shoulder, sighing as you feel his snowy hair tickling at your cheek.

"it wasn't real, sweetheart," he says, pulling back just slightly to push a piece of hair from your face. his thumb then drags under your eyes, wiping away the unshed tears. "see. you're here, i'm here. everything's all good."

"yeah." you're nodding, unable to take your eyes off of him because he's real and alive and so breathtakingly perfect. "yeah, you're right."

he gives you a lopsided smile, eyes bright and glowing. "i don't like to brag, but i usually am."

you snort out a laugh, missing the way his expression turns pleased at the sound. "hilarious. you love to brag."

"you got me there," he shrugs, grinning as you stick your tongue out at him. the lighthearted banter solidifies the fact that satoru is fine and unharmed and completely yours, but you can still feel the apprehension coursing through your veins. chills run up your spine—you try not to show it.

but of course, satoru has always been able to see right through you.

his teasing smile goes soft, and he inhales deeply.

"was it about me?" he asks, climbing into bed next you. you lay back down carefully.

"yeah," you mumble, watching him tug the blankets over your body and tuck you both under a cocoon of warmth.

"hm." something in his tone tells you he's not unfamiliar with the feelings you seem to be experiencing—his body shifts closer to yours. ocean eyes carefully asses you, deep and calculating and so concerned even as he smoothes a warm palm over your shoulder blades. "wanna tell me what happened?"

the truth is you do want to, because satoru has always understood you better than you've ever understood yourself—you have no doubt he'd be able to comfort you just as well as he normally does.

and yet...

"no," you answer, pressing your nose into his neck. a deep breath in, the lively scent that is so inherently your gojo satoru filling your very soul. "it's okay. i think i'll be fine."

when you shut your eyes, images flash behind them—of bloodied bodies and stitches and swapped souls. yet a chaste kiss to your forehead pulls you back to where you're supposed to be, warm and grounding.

"i know you'll be fine," satoru murmurs, lips tickling your brow as he speaks. you think you can hear the gentle smile as he says it, and your grip on him tightens—never letting go. "i'm right here after all."

[thef1diary]

Podium Princess | LN + CS + CL

Summary: Lando lost a bet, which would have just temporarily damaged his ego, but the problem was that you were the prize that Charles and Carlos desired for one night.

masterlist taglist form

© thef1diary 2024. do not repost without permission

Warnings: 18+, mmmf, unprotected sex, three men for three holes 🤭, fingering, oral, anal, dp?, filthy as fuck, derogatory terms (kinda), praise, overstimulation, riding.

pairing: lando x fem!reader x carlos x charles

wc: 3.1k

Request: You should totally write a smut about lando sharing his girlfriend with Carlos and Charles after placing in the #australiangp

"You did what?" You asked your boyfriend, wondering if you misheard his words. "I made a bet," Lando responded, but this time with more assurance.

You sat down on the bed in your shared hotel room and asked, "what is it?" Patting the spot next to you, silently indicating Lando to sit down and begin explaining the bet. You've known from the years you've been dating that whenever he places a wager, he eventually loses, but you chose against mentioning it.

He hesitated for a moment but then decided to explain how he ended up in that situation.

The evening began when Lando noticed Carlos and Charles speaking after the qualifying session. He observed they had been spending a lot of time together recently, so Lando obviously had to approach them and disrupt their latest gossip session.

Putting the trio together, one would discover that they never run out of topics to discuss, which is how they found themselves sitting in a car in the parking lot outside their hotel. Carlos suggested that since they were all staying at the same hotel for the weekend, they might as well leave the track together.

However, during the car ride, there was a discussion that quickly brought out the competitive nature that each driver had developed at a young age. "What, you guys don't think I'll win?" Lando asked the Ferrari drivers, slightly offended. This particular topic of conversation started once they discussed the possible winners for the race tomorrow.

Based on the three practice sessions and qualifying, it could be argued that while they all had a fairly nice weekend so far, some were still more fortunate than others. As a result, the Spaniard shook his head, disagreeing with his friend, "mate, I'm starting second tomorrow, which clearly means I have a better chance of winning."

"I was first in fp1," Lando retaliated although they all knew that qualifying in a higher position meant more than topping a single practice session.

"You might have a good chance, but Max is on pole, let's not forget that," Charles reminded his fellow colleagues. Lando perked up at his words, "exactly, so all Carlos needs to do is somehow crash him out of the race so I can win."

Charles laughed at the outrageous plan, but Carlos scoffed, "I won't ruin my chances at a podium for a race you won't win." Noticing Lando's defeated expression, it caused Charles to laugh harder. "Not that I think either of you would win, but let's make a bet," the Monégasque suggested.

"Who do you think will win?" Carlos asked. Charles' dimple deepened as he smiled, "me of course."

This time Lando scoffed, "yeah, sure mate," then he looked at Carlos, "what do I get when I win the bet?"

"This," Carlos stated while holding up his middle finger towards him. Rolling his eyes, he decided, "fine, I'll ask for something when I win, and then you two won't be able to deny it."

"And what do we get if you don't win?" Carlos asked, looking at Charles who was waiting for an answer from Lando.

While Lando was focused on what he would ask for if he won the bet, he failed to consider that Carlos or Charles were more likely to win than him. He would have a one-in-three chance of winning the wager, but Lando hadn't realized the extent of the situation just yet.

"Not that it'll happen but what do you guys want?" He asked only as a formality to actually set the bet.

Carlos was quiet for a moment as he thought of something that would be worthwhile, looking at Charles to see if he had any ideas. Then he thought of it—of you. "Your girlfriend," he simply stated.

It took two seconds for Lando to start laughing, not that it was ever a challenge to do so, but he initially assumed that Carlos was joking. His laughter quickly died down once he didn't hear either driver laugh along with him.

Looking in the backseat at Charles briefly, who nodded in agreement, Lando snapped his head towards Carlos, "what do you mean my girlfriend?"

"It's simple. If Charles or I win, then you have to share your girlfriend for a night, if not, then you don't," he explained nonchalantly.

Lando looked at Charles, "and you agree with him?" He shrugged, then nodded, "she's hot, I wouldn't say no."

He slumped back in his seat, "I suppose you'll be disappointed when I win." While Lando was secure in his abilities, both drivers around him thought he was growing overconfident. "So you agree, that if you don't win, we can have her?"

Nodding it off and waving his hand around, Lando agreed, "yeah, you can."

You were stunned into silence once he finished explaining. Noticing your lack of words, Lando was unsure of your thoughts. "You don't think I'll win?"

You shrugged, "all I'm gonna say is that you have twenty-one other chances to win this season if you don't win this race." You didn't exactly answer his question, but he realized that you weren't opposed or disgusted by the idea either. Pulling you into his lap, he tilted your chin upwards with his fingers and leaned closer for a kiss.

He tightened his grasp on your chin to stop you before you could press your lips against his. "Oh I see, you don't want me to win just so you can be passed around like a slut between my friends?"

"You wouldn't have put me as the prize if you didn't like the idea," you retaliated, smirking as you moved his hand away to finally place your lips on his.

—

You stood among the crowd, cheering for Lando, who took his place on the third step of the podium. As the podium celebrations began, a part of you was also looking forward to the celebrations that would follow later tonight. Lando may have lost a bet, but it was the first bet you were glad he lost.

That is how you ended up in your hotel room with your lover, waiting in anticipation for the other two drivers to arrive. With his trophy set aside, you and Lando were occupied with each other; your eyes closed and head tilted back as he trailed kisses down your throat.

Then came a knock on the door, one that made your heart race in all the best ways. Lando stood up and opened the door, revealing Charles and Carlos standing on the other side, still dressed in their Ferrari polos from earlier that evening.

"What did he say? I suppose you'll be disappointed when I win," Charles greeted by mocking Lando's words from the day before. "Alright, alright I get it but I still placed third," he retaliated which earned a nod from Carlos. "Congrats, cabrón."

You could hear them laughing among themselves, but it quickly died down once Carlos and Charles spotted you. Lando had suggested that you should wear red, considering both of the drivers that placed first and second adored red.

There you sat on the mattress, leaning back on your forearms with an ankle crossed over the other, clad in only a tight short red dress which you were glad you ended up packing.

"Well, fuck me," Charles muttered under his breath earning a chuckle from you once you heard his comment. Standing up and slowly stepping towards them, you replied, "fuck me indeed."

Your gaze was fixated on Carlos, the race winner, whose eyes revealed a glimpse of all the dirty thoughts racing through his mind. "Congratulations, you both deserve a good celebration," you said, smiling as you felt Carlos' arm snaking around your waist and Charles' breath fanning your face.

"Is that what you're going to give us? A good celebration?" Charles asked, his lips grazing your cheek. "I'll give you anything you want."

You looked at your boyfriend for a second, making sure he was still comfortable with the situation before proceeding any further. But you just saw desire in his eyes and while the corner of his lip curled up in a lazy smirk, a nod from him allowed you to carry on. He may have nodded at you, but his eyes darted over your head to his fellow drivers, "Go on then, Carlos, Charles, claim your prize."

Your lips parted slightly, marvelling at the fact that Lando hadn't even addressed you, instead treating you like an object to be claimed. The worst part was realizing that you liked it since his remarks had made you clench your thighs together.

Carlos grinned at your obedient behaviour as he was easily able to tip your head back to face him. Now that they truly had the freedom to do anything they wanted to you, with your permission, neither felt bad for having sinful thoughts about you—their best friend's girlfriend—while Carlos and Charles were alone in their bedrooms.

Kissing you with a sense of urgency, Carlos stole your breath away in a matter of seconds. Your thoughts had quickly dissipated into thin air as you felt Charles trailing his fingers up your body while pressing up behind you.

You heard Lando shuffle around before leaving the three of you alone in the bedroom for a moment which only intensified your feelings. Sandwiched between the two men who are good friends of yours, were now looking at you as if you are merely an outlet for their sexual desires.

Sliding down the straps that held your dress up, Charles continued kissing every inch of your bare skin revealed to him. His hands rounded to your front, pulling down the flimsy piece of fabric to display your tits to the duo. Your nipples instantly pebbled as Charles' fingers brushed against them, making you tilt your head back and resting it against his shoulder.

Letting you regain your breath, Carlos moved down to your neck, replacing each kiss Lando had placed earlier with small nips and grazes of his teeth, just painful enough to still be pleasurable.

While both their mouths were occupied, the Spaniard's hands pushed down the rest of your dress to the floor, parting away for a moment to let you to step out of it and toss it to the side with your feet.

Lando returned to the room, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth to prevent a moan from leaving his mouth. You were now completely bare, with two fully clothed drivers—his friends—pressed against you while their hands roamed all over your body.

Discarding his shirt on the floor, he occupied your mouth with another kiss, muffling your moans. "Fuck, enjoying yourself, baby?" Lando muttered once you parted away for a moment. Nodding, you opened your mouth to respond but a sharp gasp left your mouth as you felt Charles' fingers teasing your clit while Carlos palmed your ass.

"Merde, she's so perfect," the Monégasque commented, spreading your pussy with two fingers while a third finger swiped through your folds to catch the wetness that gathered between. "Charles," you breathlessly whispered, a plead for more.

"So ready to be ruined," Carlos added, his own fingers prodding your ass, earning a string of curses along with pleas to keep going from you. Gathering your slick from your cunt, Carlos coated his fingers to ease just the tip of one finger into your ass.

Soon enough, you were laid down on the bed, and one by one the three men stripped their clothes away, adding to the ever growing pile that started from your dress. You could barely keep your eyes open due to the feeling of three pairs of hands roaming everywhere, not leaving any inch of your skin untouched.

You had already orgasmed twice, but you couldn't remember whose fingers brought you over the edge the first, or even the second time, as all of the sensations mushed together in what felt like one never ending wet dream.

Staying true to your words of giving them anything they desired, you moaned around Carlos' cock as Charles slid his dick in your pussy without any forewarning. Your grasp on his thighs tightened as Charles began to thrust, slowly at first but then showed no mercy once his grasp on your hips tightened.

Carlos pulled your mouth off his cock, but quickly replaced the emptiness you immediately felt with two of his fingers resting heavily on your tongue. His actions didn't allow you to close your jaw, causing you to drool down your chin, and only then he was satisfied.

"Such a good fucking girl," he commented, which only made your head spin further while you smiled at the compliment. "Oh she likes that," Charles added as he felt your pussy clench around him at Carlos' praise.

His fingers that were now coated with your saliva trailed down your body to where you and Charles were connected. He nodded mockingly at his teammate's comment, "yeah, you like being praised?"

Easily finding your swollen clit, he slightly pinched it before creating small circles, edging you closer. You nodded, "please, please, please." You were sobbing for relief, your voice strained from the constant cries that left your lips with each new wave of ecstasy.

Connecting their gaze, Charles and Carlos smirked as they silently agreed to let you cum once again. Charles's fingers slid closer to your back hole, this time able to slide two fingers down to the last knuckle. At the same time, Carlos' fingers left your clit only to join the thrusts of Charles' cock, scissoring two of his fingers in your pussy to stretch you out even further. Pleasure surged through your body, and you closed your eyes tightly at the sudden sensation of being so full.

Charles slowed down his thrusts, prolonging your post orgasmic sensation. You slumped forwards when he pulled out, still holding back his own release for now.

Despite still being eager, they were ever patient with you especially after bringing you over the edge multiple times now, knowing your limbs were close to tiring out.

Still on your hands and knees, you shuffled up to straddle Carlos, sinking down on down cock this time, mouth dropping open as he stretched you out slightly differently compared to Charles.

"C'mon, cariño, ride me," he instructed, resting his hands on your hips, urging your movements while also allowing you to depend on him for help. "You feel so good, Carlos," you panted.

You heard some shuffling around you again but you couldn't move your gaze away from watching your pussy engulf Carlos' cock over and over again.

However, you were startled once you felt a cool sensation prodding your ass; Charles' fingers coated in lube. "Need you to relax, baby," you could hear Lando's words and he was quick to come into your view, stroking his dick to the sight of you filled by his former teammate.

He grabbed your hand off of Carlos' shoulder, guiding it towards his cock. Already slick with his precum, you could easily move your hand up and down, watching his reaction with hooded eyes.

Charles' free hand wrapped around your throat from behind while he whispered in your ear, "we're gonna fill up all of your holes, darling."

Groaning, you nodded, "please," a word that you had repeatedly spoken to the point where it sounded like a broken record. "You want that?" One of them asked, but you couldn't focus on whose voice it was. "Fill me up, please," your words turning into a moan as Carlos shifted underneath you, reaching deeper inside.

Releasing the grasp on your throat, Charles focused on opening you up with his fingers, for you to be able to take his cock in your ass while Carlos continued pounding your pussy.

Lando replaced Charles' hand, grabbing the back of your neck, threading his fingers in your hair to bring you close for a filthy kiss. Tongues and teeth clashing, he slightly bit down on your bottom lip, sucking and pulling on it for a moment before letting go.

Without any words exchanged, your boyfriend guided your mouth towards his cock, filling up two out of three of your holes. It took you a moment before you actually started moving your head up and down, moaning and drooling on his cock because of Carlos' upward thrusts.

Charles removed his fingers, having deemed to have stretched you out enough then coating his dick with a good amount of lube. With one hand palming and spreading your ass, he used the other to guide his cock into you. Your eyes welled up with tears, not entirely painful but almost overwhelmed with being filled everywhere at once.

Your body was quickly calmed down by Lando, Charles, and Carlos as they moved their hands all over you in soothing motions. Charles began thrusting when you nodded because you were unable to speak while Lando's dick was in your mouth.

Your muffled groans sounded distant to you, mind foggy, but you had never felt so full and aware before.

With a warning, Lando filled your mouth with cum, which you swallowed greedily without hesitation. Now, with your mouth unoccupied, you couldn't hold back on your moans. "Gonna cum," you warned, knowing you won't last long, still sensitive from your previous orgasms.

Charles' fingers reached your chest, teasing and pinching your nipples while Carlos rested his palms on your cheeks, wiping away your tears with his thumb.

Your pace stuttered as you came around his cock, and Carlos took the reins and thrusted upwards, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. "Fuck, where do you want us?" Charles asked, tethering on the edge and based on Carlos' stuttering pace, you knew he was too.

Your next words pushed both over the edge, "inside." Slumping forwards, you felt both Ferrari drivers filling you up with their cum. "Fucking hell, that was hot," Lando commented, leaning closer to brush away the strands of hair stuck on your forehead due to sweat.

Charles and Carlos carefully eased you off their cocks, with Lando helping you lie down on the bed which you immediately melted into.

It was unbearable for you to be completely empty after being entirely filled. Mustering up all your strength, you held your arms out for your boyfriend, who immediately joined you on the bed, whispering praises in your ear.

Meanwhile, Carlos and Charles decided to clean you up by wiping the cum that had leaked out of your holes with a damp towel. They saw the bruises from their grasps on you in the heat of the moment and couldn't help but smile, knowing they were the cause of it.

You hoped, as you drifted off to sleep, that the three of them would share the podium more frequently, and therefore, share you as well.

Taglist based on the form (let me know if you would like to be removed) @lochnoch @llando4norris @monsieurbacteria6 @namgification @lilymurphy03 @sargeantdumbass @evlkking @jointhehunt67 @wonnou @nikfigueiredo

[beekeeperspicnic]

Advanced warning that this made me cry when I thought about it, and then I shared it with friends and it made them cry too, but I think it's ultimately a nice thought so I want to share it. Sorry if it gives you the sniffles.

I'm always cautious when it comes to parasocial relationships - with actors I don't actually want to know the ins and outs of their lives, they are strangers to me and that's how it should be.

But like a lot of Sherlock Holmes fans I've ended up becoming a Jeremy Brett fan to some extent, because first you love his performance, then you find out the sheer dedication he put into that role, and then you find out how he did so while coping with significant mental and physical health problems, and then you hear story after story which suggests he was a lovely man whose mind seemed to put barrier after barrier in the way of him getting to experience the full extent of the joy he put out into the world. And I think a lot of us identify with that.

There's a quote from "The Jeremy Brett - Linda Pritchard story" floating around on Tumblr where Pritchard describes how one thing which really bothered him at the end of his life was that he couldn't give any more performances for his fans. Apparently hearing that the Sherlock Holmes series was on video (something he hadn't considered because he didn't own a video player), and his fans could watch him over and over again, made him happy.

And of course, my first thought when I heard that is I think he'd be so happy to know we're still watching them and dissecting his every movement and expression.

But it also hit me because during Beekeeper's Picnic recording sessions, Jeremy Brett is mentioned so often. Ok we've got at least one actor who worked with him (and indeed reports unsurprisingly that he was "lovely"!) but also people my age who were kids or not born yet when that series aired - they're professional actors, for whom Jeremy Brett remains 'their' Holmes, their point of reference for the character.

I can't wait for all of you to get to hear our amazing Holmes actor James Quinn, but it wouldn't be feasible to get him in every recording, and so often our actors have to just read his lines and respond. Once, one of them said "I'll just imagine Jeremy Brett," and I love that so much. Somewhere baked into my little game, is an Imaginary Jeremy Brett, called forth by an actor needing a Holmes to bounce off.

Jeremy Brett's performance isn't locked in amber, a thing of the past. It's fresh for each new generation that sees it, and it inspires new performances and new art. He'd adore that, I'm sure.

And to get even more philosophical, I think that goes for all creative work - and anything else you do in life. No matter how big or small the action, you never know how big your ripples you leave behind are. It's worth remembering.

[k0yaz]

shackled.

Pairings: arlecchino x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, arranged marriage, arle referred to as your husband, use of her real name, idk if this is angst so I’ll tag it as angst and fluff, wlw, I actually fucking hate arranged marriages irl but it’s interesting to write about, fun when it’s the character you like and not a 10 year old girl getting married to an ugly ass 60 year old man who gets no bitches, uhm anyway not proofread.

A/N: nobody gonna request arrange marriage? I’ll do it myself with my husband/husbwife arlecchino 🕯️

Uneven beats of your heart pulsed in your eardrums continuously as you stared out the open window, a cool breeze caressing your downcast face gently. Your pupils flickered down to your extended left hand, dilating smaller out of disdain upon catching sight of the cold silver ring encircling your ring finger.

You dreaded it. This arranged marriage parted an endless uncomfortable pit in your stomach, which you had felt would remain as long as you were trapped in a bind you didn’t want. Gazing down at ring once more, you couldn’t help but find it difficult to swallow the choked feeling in your throat whenever you laid eyes upon the ruby, nausea enveloping every possible sense you had in the moment. Rather than a promise ring that bound you to someone you loved, the one on your finger felt like a tiny silver collar clamped around your flesh. An irking feeling that forced you to love a stranger.

Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate Arlecchino. The woman had actively attempted to respect your personal space, being able to tell how much you loathed the inescapable grasp of your arranged marriage. You could tell that she opposed even the thought of this, especially from the way her eyes would stare down at her own ring with an empty and unfeeling expression.

Sighing deeply, you reached an arm up to grasp the satin curtains, before tugging your arms inward in a single dynamic motion. As you turned your back to walk away from the now closed up windows, you felt a gust of light air brush against your nape, causing you to spin around and lower your eyes from slight annoyance. Right. You forgot to shut the windows first. You just went over to shut the windows, still harboring a hint of irritation. Ever since that marriage, you always tended to feel unwilling to do anything anymore. Frequently always irritated by the smallest of actions as you’d always think to yourself—what’s the point?

Upon closing up the windows completely, you fell back onto the intricately decorated sofa set situated in the corner of your shared bedroom, your mind still a cluttered mess from all your thoughts being scrambled rather than neatly arranged in an array. You began to ponder once more. How things could’ve been different. Ran away, or disobeyed your parents to a full extent.

There wasn’t anything you could do. You didn’t see a point in even trying to keep a happy front anymore. All of your aspirations that you had, every little dream, was now out of your reach as you were shackled into this marriage. The warm air of the heater hit your skin as you rested your cheek into your palm. A small smile made its way onto your lips as you mused at the possible scenarios that could’ve happened if you were free. Perhaps if you were wallowing in your delusion, you could smile atleast once.

“I’m home.”

You blinked from sudden surprise, jolting as the bedroom door creaked open—albeit a bit roughly. Arlecchino’s emotionless voice rang in your ears, had she called out upon entering before? She often enters the living room first, and doesn’t enter the bedroom until nightfall. Then again, you tend to reside in the living room to await your husband’s return, so maybe she simply wondered where you were.

Stray specks of blood decorated her cheek, scattering small splatters ranging in a variety of spots across her face. Right. She was the fourth harbinger after all. You folded your arms as Arlecchino towered over you, still standing upright while her x-marked eyes pierced into you. Shifting uncomfortably, you decided to clear your throat, gesturing towards your own cheek in an attempt to break the thick fog of tension between you two from the lack of words.

“You got some-“

“I’m aware.” Arlecchino replied coldly, making you bite back a scoff at the harbinger’s dismissive response. Well, excuse you for trying to make this shitty marriage more bearable.

Still, it didn’t seem intentionally rude although it did come off that way. You only looked away from her, eyes fixating on a random painting hung over the flower pot on one of the shelves. Hunching your shoulders, you bit down on your quivering lip subtly so that Arlecchino wouldn’t notice. Although you were the one that distanced yourself from her. Although you were the one who only focused on despising this marriage, rather than even trying to get closer to Arlecchino in the slightest for atleast a small hint of peace. It still hurt seeing your husband brush you off like this.

Her seemingly exhausted expression remained glued to her face as she dragged the folded white washcloth along her cheek, eyes staring at the ground aimlessly as she continued to clean her stained face. The weight of all of this had clearly taken a toll on her as well, yet she had to keep a sturdy front for the sake of her profession as a Fatui harbinger. Yet her actions regarding you had always been courteous and respectful. Consistently respecting your boundaries and trying her best to avoid making you feel uncomfortable must have taken a toll on her, especially knowing full well that your resentment for this marriage could have set you off at any given moment.

A sudden wave of sympathy flooded you upon seeing Arlecchino’s tired eyes, dark linings shaded below her eyes as well. Just maybe, you could try to repay her for having your comfort in mind throughout the course of this resented relationship. This relationship wasn’t her fault, and you knew that. She hated this just as much as you did.

Deciding to swallow your pride, you rose to your feet, standing before her as you awkwardly shifted for a couple moments while remaining standing there. Arlecchino paused her movements, raising an eyebrow at your sudden motion of getting up off the couch. She simply stared at you with a puzzled gaze, trying to figure out your sudden want to interact with her.

Hesitantly, you reached out a shaky hand, lining it up with her cheek and gesturing her to lean in. Arlecchino on the other hand, wasn’t expecting you to switch up suddenly like this, only keeping her skeptical gaze locked onto your own eyes. It felt like a trap to lean in to someone who was so hesitant to even look at her. No matter how badly she wanted to lean into the soft skin of your palm, her hesitance seemed to uphold her rationality despite her exhaustion.

“Arle…it’s okay, you can lean in…”

She needn’t be told twice as you felt her hand grab ahold of your wrist to keep it in place, her head nearly collapsing against your hand. Deep breaths echoed within the vicinity, her breaths cancelling every other noise around you two as Arlecchino slowly composed herself from your touch. She pulled back after a couple moments, her cold front faltering for a moment with a flash of tenderness, before immediately snapping back to her calm demeanor.

However, you didn’t stop there. You don’t know what flipped that switch in you, but you just felt the urge to grow closer to Arlecchino. Perhaps it was the realization that you weren’t alone in the hellhole of a marriage, and that you two may be suffering together. Knowing she hated this as much as you was comforting, it remedied your internal turmoil slightly, and made you detest the idea of anyone else going through what you were. Or maybe, it was the fact that Arlecchino didn’t push anything in this marriage, and respected you, preventing your mental state from growing worse. It could even be both.

Regardless, you wanted to atleast provide a sort of ease to her. Cupping her cheek once more, you pulled the washcloth from her hand, rubbing it against her cheek in circular motions as stains of blood began to soak up onto the cloth and coloring it red. Arlecchino didn’t seem to protest your attempt at soothing her, face pressing further into your shaky palm as it seemed to be working. The quiet buzz of the heater reverberating through the silence, and the general tidy atmosphere of the neatly arranged bed made everything feel so right. As if this marriage wasn’t so awful after all.

Arlecchino exhaled a swift sigh as you finished washing up her face, remaining silent. The two of you awkwardly awaited for the other to speak up, the crickets outside chirping louder than the two of you by this point. You finally decided to say something, face tinged a light pink from moderate embarrassment

“You didn’t want this either did you?”

Arlecchino shook her head in affirmation, her eyes still avoiding yours—as if she was afraid that your vulnerability would shift over to her, and shatter her calm self at this moment.

“I’m well aware of this situation. Your parents are already closely associated with the Fatui, and want wanted you to marry a harbinger in order to elevate their own status for the sake of the family.” She replied. A sour taste seeped onto your tongue at the mention of the reason why you were forced into this in the first place, unpleasant memories beginning to race through your mind for a few moments.

“Why did you accept the offer then? You could’ve easily declined if you didn’t want to be in this marriage either. There’s multiple other harbingers my parents would’ve auctioned me off to.” You said bitterly, strangely hating the idea of getting married to anyone who wasn’t Arlecchino at this point. Arlecchino merely shrugged in response, raising her shoulders to remove the white fur coat cloaking her and draping it neatly over the coat hanger drilled into the wall.

“I’m not sure.” She paused, taking some time to think over another answer to compensate for her vague response. “I believe I just felt it was necessary in that moment.”

You sighed back collapsing onto the mattress. Suddenly, you felt an arm circle your waist, pulling you closer as you felt Arlecchino push her torso flush against your back. Your face burned from the sudden intimate action, the warmth of her body only serving to make you lean into her further as her sharp nails raked along your stomach lightly. Arlecchino whispered out against you, visibly less uptight than when she came in. She was a bit more relaxed and clingy with you simply with a mere touch against her cheek, it was sweet honestly.

“I still care about you, (Name).” She muttered against your neck, voice muffled as she was evidently quite tired. Pale rays of the moonlight illuminated Arlecchino’s now eased expression, watching her eyes lowered shut as her exhaustion began to catch up with her. Surprisingly, you found yourself relishing in the comfort of her arms as you flipped onto your side facing her to examine her rested features.

“…I’m starting to care about you too, Peruere.”

Your hand drew down along her arm, all the way from the skin of her shoulder down to the black faded enveloping her arms from her curse. Maybe, just maybe, this could work. You found solace in the fact that you could make the best out of this marriage with a woman who kept you in mind and tried her best to care about your interests.

Maybe, you could warm up to her.

A/N: im screaming idk if this turned out good guys pls asaaawaabshshs but yayyyyy arlecchino MY CONTENT WARNINGS WERE ASS ON THIS ONE WHY ARE THEY SO BORING AND SAD ‼️

[aroallo-corvid]

Aroallo is not an "adult" sexuality

[plain text: Aroallo is not an "adult" sexuality]

I am aromantic and allosexual. I am also (as of writing this) a minor. TLDR at the end because I rambled on a bit.

There's a view in society that sexuality and sex are topics that are entirely irrelevant to children and should not be discussed around/with children because it is inappropriate/predatory. And to an extent, there is a point to that, and any discussions of sex and sexuality should be age-appropriate (e.g. an eleven year old would not receive the same sex ed as a sixteen year old because there is a vast difference in experience)

However, thinking like this leads to teenagers not being given proper sex education because they are "too young", which is wildly ignorant of the fact that a decent proportion of teenagers older than sixteen are sexually active. I live in the UK where the age of consent is 16, and I know plenty of people who were in relationships aged 14/15 were having sex. (Whether they weer mature enough to is another matter, but it's important to acknowledge that it does happen so there is no point ignoring this).

This rhetoric also leads to the belief that teens (and younger kids) shouldn't be coming out as gay/lesbian/bisexual/asexual/aromantic/etc. because they are too young to be thinking about sexuality and sexual attractiveness, which just.... isn't true. Many young people have crushes, and as the majority of people are allosexual, this does often involve sexual attraction as people mature through puberty.

Within the queer community, people have said that it is perfectly fine and normal and common for teenagers to come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual - Because if a teen can be straight, they can also be queer. These arguments are all set out beautifully and the points well made.

Yet.

Some people exclude aroallo people from that. They say that teens can be asexual, because they can know they aren't experience sexual attraction like their peers, and teens can be aromantic as well as asexual because they can realise they also aren't experiencing romantic attraction. But when a teenager says they are on the aromantic spectrum but still allosexual, often the same people who defend teens' rights to be (for example) bisexual turn around and say "you're too young for that".

Why?

Honestly, it comes down to sex-negative views that sex is inherently impure/disgusting, and of course children are the perfect example of purity and innocence, so they shouldn't be thinking about such "dirty" topics.

Of course a teenager can be asexual, that distances them from icky gross sex & means they would likely to be only engaging in chaste, pure, wonderful romance. Of course a teenager can be aroace, that makes them little cinnamon infantile babies, safe from all sexuality. (/sarcasm) (Also completely ignores the existence of sex-favourable aces and aroaces)

It comes off as very hypocritical though, because a teenager identifying as bisexual but not aromantic (so biromantic, but that distinction isn't typically made) is seen as acceptable, when they are expressing the same sexual desires as a teenager who is bisexual and aromantic. The only difference is that the first teenagers' sexuality is seen to be "balanced out" by the presence of nice wholesome romance.

tldr: if teenagers can identify as bisexual/gay/lesbian/pansexual/etc. whilst being alloromantic, it is hypocritical to say a teenager cannot identify as one of the above sexualities whilst being aromantic, because romance is not inherently more pure than sex and sex is not inherently impure.

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: newrelationship!jeonghan, very soft, afab reader, fluff, smut, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 1276

a/n: im in love with him if that wasnt clear already

masterlist

it had only been two weeks since jeonghan had finally made you his.

he had pined after you for a bit, not fully realizing the extent of his feelings for you until a month prior, when he decided he just had to have you and decided to act accordingly, sweeping you off your feet soon after.

you were the prettiest, most perfect thing he had ever had. your relationship was brand new, which made everything even sweeter. he couldn't get enough of you, or you of him.

today had been the first night you spent over at his place, having fallen asleep on his couch halfway through the movie without realizing. he didn't have the heart to wake you up, being too enamored by the sight of your adorable form curled up against the couch, folded like a ball due to the cold. upon realizing your state, he had covered you up with a blanket, allowing you some warmth while he left to prepare you a tea for whenever you woke up. when he came back a few minutes later, he found you disoriented, barely processing the time. it wasnt that late yet, but he still insisted you stay since you seemed so exhausted. after five minutes of jeonghan whining at you to stay, you agreed, also accepting the shirt and sweats he gave you to wear to sleep.

his intentions had been completely pure, only wanting to hold you through the night, guaranteeing himself the soundest sleep he had ever had. and he had been right, as he had never known comfort such as the one he found tangled with you under his covers.

waking up had also been an experience, falling for you all over again upon seeing the softness of your expression as you rested. he decided, once again, not to wake you and fell back asleep in your arms.

a few hours later, you woke up, not offering him the same courtesy and softly waking him up.

"hannie? hannie, wake up."

"hmm?", he was half asleep as he responded, but your soft voice had immediately sitting up, putting his attention on you.

suddenly, you weee very shy, halfway hiding under your blanket, "i stayed over ..."

"yeah, baby, i know," he chuckled, "we went through this, remember?"

"isnt it too soon?"

"hmm. no," he went to hold you in his arms, "been wanting to keep you to myself for a while now," he kissed at your cheek as he said this, drinking in your adorable giggles at his affection, "now come with me so we can make some breakfast, yeah?"

it was easy for you to agree with him, now getting up and heading to his kitchen, where he allowed you to take charge due to his less than favorable cooking skills, claiming he'd help you out and follow your every order. in usual jeonghan fashion, that had been a lie. the man was simply too affectionate for his (and your) own good, simply opting for hugging you from behind as you made some eggs to satiate the both of you.

his touches had been completely innocent in nature, only giving you a few pecks on your cheeks as he held onto you. he got a bit more daring soon after, however, now deciding to reach uncharted waters and begin leaving breathy kisses along your neck.

you seemed to not be in disagreement, even tilting your neck so he could have more room to kiss you. you couldnt help yourself in the soft moans you let out the moment he began to lick and suck at your neck. those pretty moans were all he needed to let his hands begin to wander across your torso, sneaking his hands under his your shirt as he rubbed them up and down your stomach, almost daring to touch your breasts before asking for confirmation as to whether or not it was okay for him to do so.

"can i, angel?"

"mhm ... anything you want, hannie ..."

"oh? anything?" he smirked against your neck, finding a spot that had you mewling at his touch before finally allowing his hands to find home on your breasts, not taking long to begin pinching at your nipples and feeling you up.

"uh-huh ..." unknowingly, you sensually pushed your ass back against him, making him moan out before beginning a slow grind against you, feeling gratification at your mutual humping.

"oh, baby ... my pretty girl. so sweet for me ..." he loved how soft and pliant you were; how just a few light touches had you losing all inhibitions and entertaining his want for you.

"can i have it, baby? will you let me take care of you?", he asked after a few moments of dry humping, realizing you were growing restless in his arms.

"hannie ... please ..." he didn't need further confirmation to turn you around in his arms, immediately going for your lips as he kissed you sensually, his tongue dancing with your as you moaned at the simple pleasure of his kiss.

he was now grinding against your front, making you whine against his lips, mewling his name in the softest gasps he had ever heard. you truly were the prettiest thing he had ever held in his arms. he wanted you more than anything. he only allowed himself the pleasure of your cries at the bare minimum of pleasure that dry humping was giving you for a few moments, soon opting to finally enter your warmth.

he asked you for permission before doing it, despite knowing you'd respond with enthusiastic consent. he just wanted to hear how badly you wanted him back. after a cry of 'yes. please, hannie!' that had his eyes rolling back at how precious you were, he finally plunged inside you, holding one of your legs up and wrapping it around his waist.

he ground against you in slow and calculated movements, immediately hitting at that spot that had you throwing your head back.

"my beautiful girl ... is that it? that's the spot, angel?", he didn't wait for a response, only ramming harder against you to elicit even louder moans out of you.

"h-hannie ..."

"i know, angel, i know. feels so good, huh? prettiest thing ... you take it so good, fuck. my gorgeous girl. wanted you for so long now. cant believe i have you," he adored the effect he had on you, groaning at the way you tightened around him every time he praised you or told you how into you he was.

"gonna cum for me, angel? gonna give it to me? yeah? wanna feel you, baby."

you didn't need any convincing to cum while in his arms, and neither did he, quickly pulling out to cum into the sink that had been right next to you, cringing at the thought of having to disinfect it, but having had to improvise in the moment.

"hannie, ew ... the sink?"

"yah! this is your fault! seducing me in the kitchen ..."

"me?! i was just making breakfast!"

"yeah! in my clothes? looking so pretty and fuckable? you knew what you were doing. it's okay, angel. i understand. i wouldve seduced you sooner or later anyways."

you rolled your eyes at his gremlin laugh, jokingly pushing him away when he approached you with dampened paper towels to clean you up a bit, then dragging your sweats back up.

"the eggs got burnt," you pouted at him, interrupting him from the kiss he was about to give you.

"angel, i dont care about some stupid eggs. let me kiss you, yeah?"

"oka– "

he hummed against your lips, enjoying the sweetness of your kiss. he could totally see himself enjoying this every morning from now on.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

OMG SAW UR ASKS WERE OPEN AND I RAN SO FAST HFJDJSBS

Anyways ok so imagine *trips over my own feet* imagine uhm baking cookies *stumbling* baking cookies with Lilia:3

No pressure ofc! I hope u will enjoy writing this if u do! And make sure to drink after and take care of urself!

Flour Belongs In The Cookies; Lilia Vanrouge

Content; Gender-neutral reader, fluff, some pining

Word Count; 650+

Author's Note; Cloudy, you do know how bad his cooking is, right? Besides that, I hope you enjoy what I did with this little prompt!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

You knew full well going into this that Lilia … wasn’t the best person to leave around food. Well, you didn’t know to the full extent how ‘bad’, ‘revolting’, and ‘utterly cursed’ he was according to his dormmates (and adoptive family? Still trying to wrap your head around that one, to be honest). 

Yet, as you were both adding ingredients to the batch of cookies you were making, he had done nothing to tamper with the recipe or mess up by accident. Perhaps Silver, Sebek and Malleus were just overexaggerating it? Lilia has been completely fine, a great helper even! 

“So,” you cleared your throat, breaking the quiet (which was both comfortable yet awkward). “Why did you want to bake cookies with me? Not that I mind, just curious is all.”

Lilia looked up from the wet and dry ingredients he was combining and offered you a cheeky smile with a wink. “Hmm, do I need a reason to do so,” he breathed with a silent chuckle, sneaking some of the raw dough into his mouth.

You tutted, taking the bowl away from him. “I don’t need you getting sick from eating that now–”

But your attempt at lecturing was silenced by a small puff of flour being slapped gently on your cheek; a white handprint now on it. “RUDE!”

Lilia was having a good old laugh, from either getting flour on you, the shocked expression on your face, or a combination of the two (knowing him, it was bound to be the last one). He was actually getting pink in the face because of it; was he even taking breaks from laughing to breathe???

“Ah, lighten up! Plus,” he paused and covered your hand in flour and gently slapped it on his cheek, “there, we match now.” 

His magenta eyes were twinkling with mischief and you found yourself gently shaking your head and chuckling. Sighing, you picked up some flour with your hands and made it look like you were just going to cover the countertop with it, but you swerved, and slapped it into Lilia’s hair.

Lilia coughed, and rubbed at his eyes, trying to get the flour out of his eyes, but once he opened them again, you were gone. So we’re playing games now? But he just wheezed in delight and gave chase, a cup full of flour on hand so he could repay the favour. After all, since you both had matching handprints on your cheeks, you deserved to be bestowed some flour on your head.

“And here you were saying it was rude of me for that first move,” he called out into the dorm. They couldn’t have gotten far now.

He heard the curtains ruffle, and he floated over, not making a sound.

Peaking oh so carefully behind the curtains, he spotted you, silently giggling to yourself. And that’s when he made his move.

“Found you!~” And he sprinkled the flour over your head; much more gently than you did to him.

You groaned, knowing it would take a bit to get the flour out from everything… but the way Lilia floated overhead made it look like he was sprinkling snow… was he always this pretty? Even with him covered in flour, you still felt your heart flutter.

You mentally slapped your cheeks though, and got yourself up. 

“Guess you did… but that was fun,” you chuckled, dusting yourself off to the best of your ability.

The moment though was ruined by your smoke alarm going off; it was a wonder that those even worked, but hey, at least they worked.

Rushing to the kitchen, you opened up the oven to have a mass of black smoke smelling of burnt food of some sort enveloping the both of you.

“What happened?!” You coughed out, trying to open up the windows and doors to let out the smoke.

Lilia grimaced, “Ah… perhaps I set the oven too high.”

And even though you had fun making the now coal-like cookies, perhaps store-bought would have been better…

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Tags; @afunkyfreshblog @eynnwwyjth @identity-theft-101 @ithseem @lucid-stories @ryker-writes @twistwonderlanddevotee @xxoomiii

[freshxsturniolo]

im sorry - chris sturniolo x femreader

summary : in which you and chris get into your worst argument yet, to the point you think its all over.

warnings : angst, arguing, fluff.

"do you think you should maybe, slow down?" your friend whispers from the side of you as you finish yet another vodka soda. you wipe at your lip as a small bit of the liquid missed your mouth and turn to her, hitting the glass on the table a little harder than intend.

"my relationship is as good as finished. no. i need another." you say. a sentence that just a few weeks ago would have had you sobbing, but now just made you angry.

you had promised yourself that you would never let any man treat you like you were worthless. you'd never simp for a man so hard that you'd be crying in your bed alone. and yet chris sturniolo had ticked every box.

he was your sweetheart. the first person to show you what true love was. but your too different personalities had finally hit heads. you arguments over the last month where harsh. unforgiving, almost. and yet you still stayed. both of you did.

but tonight had been different. you hadn't spoken in two days, despite living in the same house. he preoccupied himself with work, which was understandable, and you preoccupied yourself with everything but his presence. but when his brother and your best friend nick asked you both over dinner to talk to each other, you world had shattered.

"can you both please just talk this out? i dont know the extent of your argument but this is becoming unbearable."

you had looked at nick with a sorry expression on your face. you did feel bad, the triplets had been more than nice enough to allow you to move in and you hated the hostile feeling you were both bringing to the house, but when you looked back at chris, his eyes on his plate, and he shrugged, you felt your heart in your throat.

when he uttered the words. "i don't think theres anything left to say anymore", your world broke.

you stood up from your chair immediately, a silence around the table that was unbearable, and you kept your eyes trained on your boyfriend. but he didn't look up. you nodded, before you looked at both nick and matt, there eyes on you in a sympathetic glare, and you gave them a smile before you removed yourself, running down the stairs and out into the fresh air. you couldn't even summon tears.

so you headed to the bar. you rang your friend, who was there in a flash, but you were five drinks down by that point and you had no plans to stop.

"you're being ridiculous" your friend said now, holding your wrist and dragging you down as you went to stand up, you stumbled back into your chair and she gave you an eye. "you both need time to cool off."

you scoffed. "cool off?” you say again, looking back towards the bar.

"where is nick? or matt?" your friend says now and you shrug.

"have they not text?" she asks.

"nick followed me out" you say, remembering back to just an hour ago.

the anger that surged through you when hit the fresh air and out into the driveway was unbearable. this had been going on for too long, you yourself could admit that. argument after argument after argument. but for chris to not even look at you, and utter words so heartbreaking in the presences of his brothers without speaking to you privately? you felt embarrassed. angry.

���y/n” you heard nick shout when you were only half way down the driveway, and you turned to him immediately. you were angry but you weren’t going to take it out on him. he was your best friend. he had seen the hurt in your eyes even though you had tried to push it down over the last two days of silence between you and chris.

“please, come back in” he had said, and you give him a sympathetic smile.

“i need to walk this off, nick” you say, and he sighed when he finally reached you. you held out your arms immediately and he was bringing you in for an embrace within seconds.

“do you want me to come with you?” he had said, and you smiled.

“be there for chris”

“what he just said to you in there was uncalled for. matts with him, i want to be here for you”

you smiled. “he’s your brother. and i think he just broke up with me. he can act the tough guy all he wants, i know he’ll want you” you said.

he didn’t tell you but nick was in awe of you. he could see your anger and your upset, could see the way you didn’t know if to scream or cry, and yet your resilience in that moment he thought was admirable. you were completely unaware of the conversations that were happening in the house after that moment whilst you were now sat with your friend, but for the time being you didn’t care.

your friend let out a sigh as you finally scrambled out of her grip, declining your offer of a drink you were going to buy her as you walk across to the bar. it was busy, and you were already swaying from left to right as you used the bar to steady yourself.

“what’s a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?”

your head whipped up at the sound of the voice. a man you did not recognise leant against the bar at the side of you, his eyes looking you up and down. you knew instantly there was nothing sleazy or untoward about him. his aura gave off nothing but positivity, so you cracked a smile.

“oh, you know. just letting my hair down”

he laughed. “no boyfriend? or girlfriend? sorry, i don’t want to assume”

you smiled. “boyfriend.” you confirm. “no, hes -“

and there it is. the hurt hits you. you look up at the man who's smiling at you, already stepped back an inch after you had told him you had a boyfriend, and the argument springs up again.

"hes not here." you utter, before a laugh escapes you. where was he? you grab your phone from your pocket, no messages having coming through. you think back to the way it was nick that chased you out the door, and not him. and suddenly you feel sick. you look at the man stood in front of him and you utter a sorry before you turn on your heel, heading towards the your friend who's sat watching you from the table you were just at.

"i need to go" you say, and she looks at you for a second before standing up.

"i'll take you" she says. you nod, unable to even thank her with the surge of emotions that run through your body. you had jumped into an uber on the way here and your friend had driven, clearly knowing she wasn't going to end up drinking with you. really, she knew you wouldn't last long before you wanted to head home, so to her this was planning out exactly as she imagined.

you reach the outside of the bar, just a small one not even 10 minutes from the triplets house and the fading sunset hits you, you can feel the lump in your throat. your friend grabs hold of your arm as she pulls you down towards the street and to her car, but when you're half way there she finally speaks to you, noticing that your energy has shifted ever so slightly since being outside and the LA sunshine hitting your skin.

"are you okay?" she asks, and you look away from the skyline to her. and you laugh.

"no. no im not."

she gives you a sympathetic smile. "you're angry, i can tell. but i feel theres more too it. please dont give up on each other."

you nod as you reach her car, climbing into the passenger seat as she unlocks it and gets into the driver side after ensuring you're settled. she gives you another smile before she pulls off into the street, and you try your best to calm down. there were so many things you wanted to say to him. you wanted to scream at him. you wanted to cry at him. you wanted to ask him where it had all gone wrong.

youre so submerged in your own thoughts that you don't even realised when you pull up outside. you jerk your head up and let out a loud sigh, before looking to your friend.

"do you need a minute?" she says. "you look like you're going to cry. dont let him see you cry."

you smile as you reach over and give her a hug. "im okay. i'll be okay. thank you, so much."

you get out of the car and shut the door, double checking your pockets for your belongings. you could tell you were drunk, it had been an hour since you stepped off the driveway and ordered an uber to the bar and you'd drank way too quick, so you gather yourself as your friend drives off. taking a deep breath, looking up at the sky as the darkness finally sets in.

when you feel okay enough, you let out a large breath before turning on your heel, making your way up the drive way. you dont know what you were going to say. you were angry. you were hurt. and you feared when you did see him, you'd finally break down.

reaching the door to the house you unlock it slowly and quietly, needing a few more minutes before you saw anyone, but when you heard the three of them upstairs, you let out a breath. you're not sure what they're talking about, but you can make out the mumble of chris' voice and you turn on your heel, heading towards your shared bedroom, quietly opening and closing the door behind you.

when the door clinks shut, you lean against it, letting out a sigh of relief. but it hurts. you're drunk. you're feeling everything at once and the tears flow. pulling your hand over your mouth to muffle any noise, you make your way to the bathroom.

but he's heard you. the door opens, and his voice fills the room.

"baby" he says. and you snap.

spinning on your heel, you move your hand from your mouth. you know you look a mess. fresh tears on your cheeks. hair in a messy bun. you feel embarrassed that you'd even gone to the bar looking the way you did but in the moment it felt right.

chris' eyes widen when he sees you.

"fuck. baby -"

"baby!?" you spit. "baby?!"

and you see his adams apple move as he takes a gulp.

"please don't-"

"don't what?!" you spit. you take a deep gulp as you compose yourself, wiping under your eyes to take away the tears. you didn't want to argue. you didn't want to cry. but there was something inside you that was raging. "don't what, chris?"

"listen to me, please" he says, and walks over to your, grabbing at your wrists, but you pull them away immediately and head towards the bathroom. he's close behind you. "im so sorry, baby. im so so sorry"

you spin around immediately, and he accidentally walks into your chest. you take a slight step back at the side time as him, and your breath is harsh. "sorry? for what, chris? for talking to me like a piece of shit in front of your brothers? for ignoring for me the last two days? can you even remember what we were arguing about?"

"no but-"

"but what?!" you say, and the tears are falling again. "but what, chris? do you want to break up? do you want this to end? because thats what it sounds like to me and i'd prefer for you to tell me privately that in front of your brothers, because-"

"stop it, y/n. stop it!" he says, and he grabs at your hands again, but you pull them away, stepping beside him to reenter his bedroom. but you come to a stop. because you don't know where to go. you need to have this conversation. you know you do. but you're drunk, you're hungry, you're all of a sudden irritated and overstimulated.

so you cry. again. and you spin around to look at him as he to reenters his bedroom. he's crying to.

"please, listen to me" he chokes.

"i dont-"

"baby, stop it." he says, and he rushes right over to your side, taking your hands in his. you pull them away again, but this time he doesn't accept it.

"fuck, you're killing me." he says, and this time he grabs your wrists, pulling them up and stepping forward, trapping your arms in his hands in-between the both of yours chest.

"get off me" you say, but you don't mean it. you're angry but the first bit of physical touch from him in 2 days feels electrifying.

"no." he says, and you sniffle a cry before looking into his eyes. they too, rimmed with tears. this close you realise that they're too raw, and his lips are too swollen to have only just started crying.

"have you been crying?" you whisper, and he laughs. only slightly, but its a laugh, a smile appears on your face to.

"i love you." he starts. "I know that much is true. i dont know what the fuck has happened to us but i fucking love you. so much it hurts sometimes actually. i think thats why I coward away when we do fight. i cant handle it, y/n. i cant handle when you look at me when you're hurt or upset, it's easier to walk away and let us both cool off. and i know thats wrong, fuck nick and matt have just had my life about it, and im sorry."

you look at him. searching his face. his hair. feeling his hands and body on yours.

"why do we even fight, chris?" you ask now.

"i dont know, baby."

"am i too much? was moving in with you too much?"

he shakes his head immediately. "no, god no please dont think that."

you sigh, and he finally removes his hands from your arms. you take a step back, sitting on his bed, and he comes to join you.

"im so sorry for what i said earlier. i was being stubborn." he says, and you laugh slightly.

"we both were, chris. two days of ignoring each other."

he laughs too, and he places his hand on your thigh. you don't flinch away, but you don't reach for it either.

"do you want to be with me, chris? tell me the truth. because i can't keep being hurt like this. im not blaming you, either. its me, too."

he turns slightly to look at you, and you can see the genuine panic in his eyes. "if you were to break up with me, i dont know how i would survive. i mean it. i dont know why i said what i said earlier. embarrassed maybe, that nick had mentioned it. embarrassed i had let it carry on for two days. i dont know. but i know im sorry. not just for that but for all the times we argue."

the tears have brimmed in your eyes again and you let out a small smile, finally bringing your hand to his.

"I think we are both incredibly stubborn." you start. "and easily hot headed. and you're a social butterfly when i sometimes like to chill."

"i know" chris admits.

"but i love you, so much. i shouldn't have ran out earlier." you admit, and chris shakes his head.

"no. i shouldn't have let nick run after you. it should have been me." he says.

"its okay." you say now.

"do you forgive me?" chris asks, and just his face alone, his beautiful yet saddened face, makes you want to cry.

"yes. and you me?"

he laughs. "yes."

you chuckle, and then you finally lean in, his lips on yours. arguments were normal, you had to remind yourself that. but deep down, you loved this man to death, and he you.

when you finally pull away from your kiss, your first kiss in days, chris grabs your face in his hands. "im going to marry you, one day."

you heart jumps. "that so?"

he nods. "i already told nick and matt."

"when?"

he smiles. "when nick came back and gave me an ear full after speaking to you outside. he told me what you said. the way you were angry but you knew i would want him to be there. and it just blurted out."

you smile, a sense of relief washing over you.

"because i love you, dumbass. even if you do get on my last nerve sometime."

he chuckles, pressing his lips against yours.

"you stink of vodka" he mumbles in your lips, and you smile.

"im celebrating."

he pulls away, giving you another eye. "celebrating what?"

you chuckle. "my man wants to marry me one day." and you crash your lips against his once more.

[sundaycentric]

I need fluff can you write yandere dan heng and if you do 2 Neuvillete (idk how to spell his name 😭)

Sorry if this goes over the rules you could ignore I loveee yandere dan heng hehe

(separate yandere) dan heng & neuvillette x gn reader

content ★ headcanons, minific, yandere, not proof read, gn reader, reader has hair in dan heng's part, sfw, fluff?

note ★ i love yandere hcs.. idk what it is i just eat them up every single time. but sorry for my recent inactivity ?!?! i rushed these a bit tho.. hope theyre still good </3 mainly just put my thoughts down :(

DAN HENG ★

Dan Heng knows what it's like. He knows what it's like to be locked up, forced away from the outside world. He knows what it's like to be alone and scared. He knows what it's like to have someone watch your every move. Dan Heng knows what it would be like for you. Yet, he can't shake the thoughts and desires to take you.

Dan Heng knows it's wrong. He can sympathize, which is probably why he tried to deny it all in the first place. However, he's been so selfless. He accepted punishment without complaint. He helps around the Astral Express so much. It's hard for Dan Heng to not be selfish this once and indulge in his love.

That is if he can even call it love. Dan Heng tried to deny his feelings for you first. He knew how hard it would be, even without expecting the obsession to come along with it. His draconic heritage makes him more possessive than the average lover. They hoard what they love, and it includes their mates as well.

Dan Heng can't avoid it entirely, though. Being without you feels like an even worse punishment than his banishment. With you, he feels something he has never felt before. Dan Heng can no longer deny his love for you, even if it may be more than that.

You might notice him giving extra attention to you. It is never anything big, but rather small things. Dan Heng looks at you a bit longer. He smiles slightly when you talk. He stands closer to you. He won't flinch away when you grab his hand. He'll let you into the Archives. Dan Heng will treat you differently.

He is still silent as ever, but he is more relaxed around you. At the same time, he feels more tense, though. Dan Heng doesn't want to push you away. He'll take his time with you.

In his dragon form, his thoughts are even worse. It is harder to suppress his desire for you. Especially when he already begins to subconsciously think of you as his mate. This is when things get a bit more severe. He's less controlled.

Dan Heng's tail might loosely wrap around your ankle as if you'd run. He'll glare at people he thinks are too close. He'll only go where you go. He'll favor you and always find a way to defend you. Things like this are much more noticeable as his love grows.

The Archives have a lot more entries about you. Your physical description, personality, hobbies, interests, and moods all have their own extensive pages. When he can't be with you, he'll simply write or read about you. Dan Heng will find himself reading over your information if he can't go to sleep.

At this point, Dan Heng knows it is more than love. He knows he is obsessed with you. But he doesn't care all that much. He feels something, something that isn't cold. Something that feels good and warm in his heart, even if it is terribly wrong in his brain. He's given up on trying to suppress it. He simply can't, so Dan Heng embraces it. He embraces you. He loves you.

If you do end up loving Dan Heng as well, he will be overjoyed. You can't see it on his face, but the way his tail tightly coils around your waist tells you otherwise. He isn't too big on physical touch normally, but he will always have some kind of touch on you.

He'll get a bit overbearing. He doesn't want to see you hurt. It's dangerous trailblazing. Dan Heng needs you.

If you find out the extent of his love, he might finally lose the rest of his self-restraint. You'd probably run. He doesn't want that. He won't let that happen. You're his now.

Dan Heng gently ran his fingers through your hair, playing with it. You sat down in front of him with his tail securely wrapped around your waist. Your back snugly pressed against his chest. Both of you breathed slowly, enjoying the moment.

"Dan Heng?" You asked. He did not respond. He only continued to mess with your hair. You couldn't see his expression, how he looked at you with utter love in his eyes. He was thinking.

"Dan Heng..?" You question softly. This time, Dan Heng seems to have heard your words. His fingers stop for a moment as he blinks.

"Yes, what is it?" His fingers resume once he speaks. They softly pull through any tangles, Dan Heng paying extra attention to make sure he doesn't hurt you. His tail lightly twitched around your waist.

"I was thinking about going on the Luofu with March and..." You didn't get to finish your sentence as Dan Heng's grip on your hair tightened. It hurt a bit, as his fist pulled on your hair unknowingly. Dan Heng's voice came next.

"No," he said. Dan Heng's voice was far colder than it usually was. He sounded angry and disappointed and upset. It was impossible for you to turn to see his expression with his hand holding your head straight. Dan Heng repeated, "No. It's too dangerous. The.. Stellaron Hunters are there. He is there. If something happens to you, you will never be able to best him in a fight. You need to stay here, where it's safe. Besides, March and the others don't need you. They can do this alone."

Dan Heng's words came out harsher than he was meaning to, but he was too busy worrying about you to realize. He shuddered slightly, imagining what it would be like if you were Blade's next victim. It wasn't hard to figure out Dan Heng is attached to you, so perhaps he would go for you to get to Dan Heng. The thought sickened him. He never wanted to see you in pain like he had to be. Slowly, his grip loosened as he went back to playing with your hair.

However, you were also a bit uneasy. Dan Heng's tone was off, and he had been acting weird recently. You spoke after a few minutes of silence, "I'm feeling tired... I'm going to go to sleep in my room now, Heng."

"Hm," Dan Heng hums, "No. I think you will sleep in here from now on."

NEUVILLETTE ★

Neuvillette also knows it's wrong. What he stays up at night thinking of is illegal. It goes against everything he does in life. Yet, he would never think it would feel so good.

Neuvillette has never been a selfish man. For hundreds of years, he upheld justice for others. He was always fair and righteous, even when it hurt. However, Neuvillette has never really wanted anything specific in the first place. Yes, he yearns to understand himself and others, but he has never felt that carnal desire to own something.

That is, until he met you of course. Suddenly, he felt something he'd never felt before. It was weird, bubbling in his chest sweetly. It made his heart ache with yearning. It almost felt a bit painful, but it was also so enjoyable. He wanted more of it.

You made him feel something he has yet to grasp. He may not understand emotions well, but he knows what certain ones are. But this, he does not know. You made Neuvillette feel something new. Something that made him feel a bit more alive. As if you were the purpose, the reason he was born.

Neuvillette tries to dismiss these thoughts, but it's hard. He must focus on his duties, but he often thinks of you in the moments between work. He knows it's wrong. But it doesn't feel bad. It feels good. So, is it really that wrong?

Neuvillette is still very busy, though. He will get the melusines to spy on you, which they happily accept. Neuvillette often tells them about you since he doesn't have anyone else he can tell. It's gotten to the point where alongside seeing Neuvillette as their father of sorts, they see you as a parent as well. Of course, they think, you must be the monsieur's spouse. They certainly have no issue with simply ensuring their 'parent's' safety, after all.

Neuvillette never corrects them. After all, it makes him feel warm inside. Marriage sounds nice. A legal contract, bounding you to each other forever. Suddenly, Neuvillette seems to pay more attention to marriage documents and trials related to it.

He will never say anything first. Ever. Even though Neuvillette wants you badly, he will not break his moral code and risk doing something irrational. He likely wouldn't either way, but he worries. Especially when it comes to you.

Neuvillette is very protective of you. He wasn't very big on touch, but now he likes to have some sort of contact with you. Holding your hand, arm, waist, finger, whatever it may be. It helps him make sure you're okay. It's been so long since he's felt affection like that, and he tries to get you to spoil him with it sometimes.

He loves it so much when you treat the melusines like they are your children. Maybe one day you can have children together. Whether it's biological or adoption, he doesn't care. Neuvillette wants to be with you however he can.

And once the prophecy kicks off entirely, you're never leaving his sight again. Even if you're not from Fontaine, there's still a risk and uncertainty. Neuvillette won't let you slip away. He can't. He'll pamper you, do whatever you ask of him (besides letting you go), but he just needs you to stay where he knows you're safe.

If you try to leave, then good luck. It'll be raining. Hard. You can barely even walk without getting soaked. It's never been this bad in Fontaine before.. but as soon as Neuvillette sees you again, it's unbearably sunny. The weather is quite extreme.

You're his mate after all. Why are you even trying to leave him, if you are? This is your home now. Neuvillette sighs, perhaps you're just nervous. It's okay, though. He figures you need to adjust.

He won't care if you find out how much he loves you. Why does it matter? Of course, he loves his mate.

"I forbid you," Neuvillette stares you down, "My dear, please, come back over here. I'd hate to request a guard to block the door."

You stop in your tracks, not doubting Neuvillette's words. You could feel his gaze burning into your skull. It scared you. He was incredibly powerful, and it would be best to comply with him, no?

You turned around. He smiled gently, "Good. Now come, sit back down, mon ange (my angel)."

You listen to him, slowly walking back towards him. You sit on the couch next to his desk before he sighs. The rain gets a bit harder.

"You know that's not your seat," he murmurs. And you know exactly what he means. Neuvillette waits for you to return to him, and sit on his lap—your seat. You do.

"There," Neuvillette breathes out on your neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face into your neck. The rain alleviates, slowing. You shake a bit in his grasp, either from his breathing or your possible fear.

"Shh.. it's okay, mon cœur (my heart), is it that you're cold..?" Neuvillette asks sweetly, before holding you tighter. "I'll warm you up, my love. Just stay with me.."

His hands begin to rub circles into your back as he flips you over. Neuvillette isn't manhandling you roughly, but he does it with such ease. It may not be purposeful, but it's a reminder of just how much stronger he is than you. After all, he is a dragon. He uses his glove hand to gently push you against his chest. Neuvillette effectively trapped you in his warm grasp.

"Neuvillette.." You say softly, "There is no need to hold me like a lifeline."

He smiles but doesn't loosen his grip. "I beg to differ. After all, I don't think I could live without you, so you are my lifeline, no? My lifeline and my mate.."

Neuvillette's voice is longing. You won't be able to get out of this any time soon. The rain disappears alongside your smile (or frown).

[nuhuhwinniethepooh]

Bestfriends?

Dark!Gojo x Reader

18+ MDNI, dark, animal cruelty, non-con, violence, Gojo is horrible (I mean it), baby-trapping. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

You should've known better than anyone that Satoru was never the merciful type.

His cheerful personality wasn't a facade but having known him for years made you aware of all the little tics that made him so terrifyingly him. Particularly that one little tic of his that always manages to send chills down your spine and ice the edges of your heart from fear despite him being your bestfriend.

The kind of fear that makes you wanna curl up into a ball and shrivel up just from the thought of being in the receiving end.

It's the little tic of his that makes him act like a cat which terrifies you even after all these years. It's not the way he acts so annoyingly asshole-ish like some cats or the way he acts so clingy like your beloved cat, Saibo, that scares you. No, it's the way he acts like a cat in it's most primal form that scares you. An instinct so abominable that it makes you cringe from disgust at just the thought of Saibo imitating it.

It's the very tiny tic of his that makes him toy around with his enemies like a cat that toys around with it's prey. Not for a just cause like survival but for the mere fact of entertainment to ease it's boredom; maybe you should've just killed yourself before it reached to the extent of making yourself Satoru's next target, his next prey and his pretty, little wife.

"Satoru, I told you twice already. My answer is a no, I don't want to marry you" you sigh, folding your arms across your chest as you look up at the man looming in your apartment doorway with an expression so blank that it reminded you of a statue.

A statue hand-crafted by the heavens itself and wearing the skin of your bestfriend.

His silence is a curse and for some eerie reason, you could hear the ticking of a clock somewhere behind you. Like a countdown of a bomb.

"Why?"

Flabbergasted doesn't even start to describe what you feel at his question because you've been telling him exactly why for the past two days since he stepped into your office and offered his proposal. And yet here he is, repeating the same question like a stuck recorder. There's nothing else you can say, you've already used up all of your excuses ranging from being an orphan to his clan elders future disapproval.

So when Saibo comes and rubs itself against your leg? There's only one utterly stupid sentence that presents itself-

"I promised my mum that I wouldn't marry anyone until I lose Saibo." Great, just great. You're a damn genius, obviously intelligent enough to dig a deep enough hole and bury yourself alive because why on Earth would you bring your sweet mum up right now. Leave the dead to rest in peace is what you should've don-

The smile tugging on his lips and the light tone of his voice after the uncomfortable silence cuts your monologue off. "That's all? I just have to wait for you to lose Saibo for you to marry me?"

"Watch your words, Gojo. You've gone too far" You snap, narrowing your eyes up at him.

If looks could kill, Satoru would've been buried a good 60 ft deep in because you obviously weren't gonna be satisfied with 6ft. Not after what he said; sure you did imply it but that still doesn't make it any better.

"This is going too far but rejecting me three times isn't?" Satoru scoffs, walking in so confidently that it made you stumble back and made your beloved cat hiss at him, bless her heart. His back faces you and suddenly it's cold, chills runs up your spine after your initial surprise fades and the click of the door lock seemingly drowns itself in the rapid thump of your now slowly thundering heart. You're getting deja vu, you're sure of it, it's the same sensation you always get when he gets on the battlefield.

When he turns back around, you notice that his blindfold was off but the look on his face is what makes you freeze. His gaze was anything but friendly and his eyes were a color so menacingly blue that it cuts through your skin and attaches itself in that tiny part deep inside you that always made you wary of him. For good reason.

Saibo jumps in front of you and promptly growls, a sound that you never heard her make, shaking you awake from your frozen daze and forcing you to watch the person you called your bestfriend quickly close the small distance.

"All I wanted was your acceptance" he says, ignoring the hissing cat in front of him "Is that really too much to ask for from you, pretty?"

"I can give you everything, Satoru. Everything except for that" you breathe out shakily, goosebumps rising in your arms when he caresses your cheeks. A touch so cold that you're not sure if it's because of his infinity or the frozen mechanism beating in his chest that he calls a heart.

"Then give me everything" Satoru's hand on your cheeks slides down to your neck, wrapping around it to pull you close "I'll give you everything you want in return, I'll give you anything in the world"

His hold gradually tightens on your throat, almost like a threat. No, it was a threat.

"Do you even know what you're asking for?" You spit out, nails digging into his wrist but that damn infinity of his kept you out and him safe almost like he was the victim in this situation.

"You clearly know that I do darling, and it's a damn shame really" He leans in, his eyes filled with so much adoration it makes you wanna gouge it out "Since I always thought you were a smart girl but maybe it's time to treat you like you're dumber than you are"

His last words are a whisper in your ears and in a split second his infinity is down and his lips roughly crash against yours, one hand squeezing at your throat and the other forcing your mouth open to shove his tongue inside while your hands tears into his skin and pushes at his chest, his face, his shoulders but all it earns you is a loud moan from him that shrivels something up inside you when you realise he likes it.

He likes your desperate attempts to free yourself from his disgusting hold. Likes the way you struggle against his grasp. Likes the way you whine and whimper protests against his lips, trying desperately to bite down on his tongue and finger but pathetically failing to do so-

What he doesn't like is the way Saibo also manages to dig her claws into his skin, much like you, albeit shallow due to the thick material of his pants but doing enough damage to attract his attention. You've had Saibo for 15 years and never was she so violent, tears springs in your eyes at the thought of it but before a single tear even manages to glide down your reddened cheeks, there's a push and you're down flat on the couch behind you and Satoru is holding a hissing Saibo by her fluffy white cuff.

"Shame, I actually liked you since you looked like me y'know?" Satoru hums, holding her at a safe distance with a small frown "Made me think that you'd remind her of me"

"Satoru, let her down" you manage out shakily, sitting up and holding a trembling hand out for Saibo. Hoping that Satoru wouldn't do what you think he's gonna do, he's your bestfriend afterall...isn't he? He should know better than that-

"I was trying so hard to be nice to you darling. I even went out of my way to ask you three times but you- hah- Honestly, you brought this to yourself" he clicks his tongue with a shake of his head, an almost feline grin plastered on his face as he steps back.

You've known Satoru for years now and sure he was a little volatile, somewhat impulsive and downright crazy when it came to the things he wanted but at least he was constant.

Constant enough for you to know that he was batshit insane.

"Satoru, please" you plead but her back is facing you and his hands is around her neck and there's nothing you can do but rush towards him a second too late. There's a sickening crack and a loud howl and Saibo's back is turned towards you but her cerulean eyes burns through your skin and heart and mind and soul an- the ticking of the clock finally stops. "Well she's gone now. Looks like you're finally able to marry me" his voice is light, almost cheerful while you're frozen in place. Tears blur your vision but both their cerulean eyes burns stark in your mind, Satoru and Saibo.

You've lost two bestfriends in one day. Lucky you.

There's a strangled cry emanating from somewhere, one so despaired that it claws at your heart and makes you wanna cover your ears and just cry yourself to death.

"I didn't want to do this either, darling" there's a quiet shushing and a warm hand places itself against your mouth, blue eyes gazing back at you like he hurts more than you do.

You shut your mouth and the sound is gone but the scratches in your heart still stings when you're pushed flat on your back. Still hurts when you limply tilt your head to the side to look at the lump of white on the coffee table and ignore the dull feeling of someone groping you because your pretty cat laid there, it's dead blues staring at you.

Saibo, your pretty little cat. Your mother had adopted a cat when you were young, a cat just as soft-spoken and warm as her. A pretty little ragdoll with soft, white fur and cerulean eyes that always licked at you like its own kitten when your own mother held you in her arms and cooed sweet nothings to you.

There's a numb hold on your cheeks and a hollow sound of squelching when you feel someone pry your mouth open and force something wet inside. Your blurry gaze flickers down to see your shirt missing and ugly red spots splotched across your chest, flickering your gaze upwards only to find blue eyes staring back at you.

Blue eyes like your mother's cat, one that never left your mother's bed after her death. She had a litter of five when your mother was alive, she had only one left after your mother's passing. The very one that she gently laid down on your open hands, licking your cheeks one last time before curling up in her usual spot and quietly passing away on your mother's bed a month lat-

"Don't go gazing off into the distance on me now, pretty girl" Someone coos in your ear, the blurriness of your vision slowly melting away when a warm hand wipes the silent tears streaming from your eyes. And then you see the familiar face of a man that looked nothing like your bestfriend, nothing like the Satoru you thought you knew.

You blink. Once. Twice. Trying to make sense of his echoing words through the haziness of your mind that wraps around you like a blank cocoon and numbs the intrusive feeling of his touch in between your legs. Time is a privilege and you don't know how long he's been at it but the dull heat resting low in your stomach and the disgusting feeling of his fingers moving inside you was as unwelcome as it was unwanted.

Not like he would've cared if you voiced it out.

Satoru always did have the ability to unceremoniously wrench the space people considered safe from underneath them; you've watched him give his enemies a false sense of security enough time to immediately recognise that familiar smile making its ways on his lips. The smile that made you realise that your fate was sealed, only proven true by the burning stretch that rips at the haze in your mind and steals the welcomed numbness to replace itself with burns that sears into your skin and brands itself deep inside.

"Satoru st-stop" you breathe out, brows furrowing from the sharp stings as you dig your nails into his skin and create little moon shaped dents into the milky expanse of his chest. "C-can't, won't" he groans out, pushing his cock well past the resistance of your clenching walls with gritted teeth "Also relax darling- hngh- you're just making it worse -shit, stop that" His hand besides your head moves to your hair, hold so tight that it pulls at your scalps and makes you grunt out in pain.

"Wait. Look I'm al-already halfway in" Satoru groans out delightedly, forcing your head up to make you look at the way he was buried inside you. Pulling out just a little to show his thick cock covered in your slick and blood because of course you'd bleed when an inhuman size forces itself inside your tight hole even after all the prep.

And then he's pushing back in mercilessly and there's a choked, painful moan forcing itself up your throat "St-stop -ah-it hurts!"

"I'm sorry darling. I know it hurts but it won't for long" he shushes at you quietly, pressing featherlight kisses on your forehead "It'll just hurt this one time, I promise." Your body is screaming so hard from the pain and betrayal that your voice seemingly loses itself in it, quiet gurgles being the only thing rising from your bleeding throat when he suddenly bucks his hips and bottoms out in you.

And then you're gone.

Nothing in this world could ever make you forget the sound of his heaving moan and guttural praises; praising you for taking him so well, acting like he didn't just force himself past your resistance and inside you.

Your tears and sobs don't deter him, it only turns him on, only encourages him to whisper sweet nothings in your ears, the sound of it makes you wanna rip your defiled ears off, and lick at the fat blobs of tears sliding down your cheeks. His small show of mercy is allowing you to adjust to his size; it only makes you feel worse, just the thought of him inside you for a second longer makes you wan-

An impatient thrust is all it takes for you to go numb again, body going limp when he runs out of patience and grabs hold of your hips to slam you down on him. Over and over and over again until you're nothing but a pile of meat and bones, and he's nothing but a groaning mess of everything you hate. Until your howls turns into muted little ah's and his held back moans morphes into a version of your name that he so religiously, and loudly, mewls in your ear with every buck of his hips against yours.

His voice is as muted as the sound of wet skin slapping against each other, your head limply tilted to the side with your gaze blankly fixated against the brown material of your couch when your body shuts itself down. But like all respite, Satoru steals it away again with a click of his tongue and a hand squishing your cheeks together into a small pout to force your head to the other side. Forcing you to look at the disproportioned lump of white on the table that you once called family.

Satoru could just say that he personally killed your mother at this point.

"Don't w- ngh-worry. Always knew you wanted a family" he rasps out, biting and sucking at every inch of skin he could get his lips on "Now I'll give you one, a real one. One that doesn't include a damn cat"

"S'toru" you whisper out, barely finding your voice in the mess and like always, it's ignored for his own rambling. "Gonna fill this right up for little mini-me" there's a sharp sting on your chest, you force your gaze down and look over his hand to watch him suckle at your nipples like a newborn babe searching for milk. An idea he's soon gonna turn into reality. You rasp his name out louder, ignored again when he finally lets go of your cheeks to slide it down to your womb and press down, hard "I-I swear I'll make- ngh-you into a mama if it's the last thing I do"

There's only so much feeling that your body can numb, only so much it can do against Satoru and his dick. Your orgasm was anything but pleasant if not painful, feeling his every inch, vein and curve mold itself inside you and rip you apart with shocks so violent that you jerk and writhe and clench your gooey walls down on him- you know it's finally over when he babbles in your ears and spurts something hot and repulsive inside you, his brutal pace finally stuttering to a stop and turning into a grind, perfectly plugging his obscenity inside you.

"Satoru" your voice is foreign to your own ears, his heat goes unregistered and the white cold lump is promptly forgotten because of that one thought buzzing in your head. "Yes darling?" His voice is as foreign as yours to you, his gaze undecipherable when he pulls away to look at you, leaning down to kiss you on the li- "I hate you"

He pauses, lips brushing against yours just barely. There's that signature smile of his and the regrettably familiar feeling of his lips pressing against yours. His reply seemingly drowning itself in the constant buzzing of your ears, only one thought ringing through your mind over and over again.

You should've killed yourself the very moment he proposed to you.

Masterlist ° NSFWlist Had to post this snippet cuz 2 months is a long time to be dead for. I got the heebie jeebies writing this but I was too far into it so I had to finish it😦

[beejunos]

UNKNOWN TO ME AND YOU | Alastor x reader | PART 2

Summary: After your altercation with Alastor in the hotel lobby, will you be able to mend your relationship?

This is PART 2. Part 1 can be found here.

This is the continuation of @lustylita's wonderful idea, which can be found here. I just had the pleasure of writing it. I hope you enjoy the end of our little story!

Tags: Alastor x gn.reader, some angst

The relationship between you and Alastor had taken a sharp turn for the worse. What used to be a strained but neutral relationship was now strained, uncomfortable, and awkward at best. You found yourself doing everything in your power to avoid him whenever possible.

Each time you and Alastor coincided in a room, a surge of panic would engulf you. The urgency to escape the impending unbearable awkwardness was so tangible it left a metallic taste in your mouth. You would hastily concoct an excuse, no matter how feeble, to flee the scene. The same sense of panic would grip you if he happened to enter a room you were already in.

As you made your hasty retreat, you made a point to never meet his gaze. You were acutely aware that if you did, you would be confronted with the pained expression on his face behind the mask he liked to present to the world, a sight that would be unbearable. Despite Alastor's adeptness at concealing his emotions, you could now sense his anguish from the shadow he cast.

It was something you never anticipated. You never thought you'd harbour any kind of affection towards the man. Yet, after the end of your relationship with Alastor's Shadow, it felt like going through a tumultuous breakup with him. The pain of it all left you feeling raw, vulnerable, and insecure as if a part of you had been stripped bare of dignity and reason. You were left feeling smaller than you really were, with a heavy weight on your shoulders that dragged you down. As if everything was your fault. 

But you had never known about Alastor's feelings for you. You didn't even know when his affection for you had begun and why he had buried them so deep within his heart that his shadow had to break free to soothe its ache. Only when his shadow broke free did you realise the extent of his emotions and how deep they ran.

The days felt like they had grown longer and lost all their colour without the presence of Alastor's shadow. Hollow and lifeless. Whilst you could argue all you wanted with yourself that it was the shadow that you wanted and not the man, the reality was that the shadow was the man. 

They were not separate. They were one.

To love one was to love the other. 

What ... love?!

Pain can be subjective, just like any emotion, but that does not diminish its impact on one's life. The heart will make itself known to the mind whether the mind wants to know or not, but sooner or later, the heart will make the mind yield to the pain, the longing, and the wanting just to get a moment of peace. 

And that's where you were right now, at the door where your heart had broken down, letting the reality of your emotions spill at your feet. A door it begged you to walk through, but you were scared. You were a coward. For Alastor saw you through his darkness, his shadow, and you saw him through his. 

To knock or not to knock. That is the question.  

It had been 23 days since your altercation with Alastor in the hotel lobby. When he had branded you with a kiss that still burned. Marking you with a curse that tore your heart out and poisoned your mind. Longing for the time when it had been just you and Alastor's shadow, but now all your memories of the shadows had been replaced with the man himself. Giving you a genuine smile that only your eyes were allowed to see. To be given the privilege, the trust, to see him. To see the man and not the sinner. To see the soul and not the demon.

Everyone longs for love, no matter what form love comes in, longing for companionship. Trust. Strong arms to fall into with hands that could hold us up when our legs can't bear the burden anymore. And you knew that Alastor could be the arms you wished to fall into, but did he still want to fall into yours?  

To knock or not to knock. That is the question.

The door to Alastors room felt like the doors to an impenetrable fortress. A domain that used to reek of him but now lured you with promises you longed for but feared as well. 

With your crossword puzzle in hand, you counted down from five to zero before lifting your shaking fist and knocking on the door softly. A part of you hoped that he wasn't there so you could run back down to the lobby and forget that you had ever had this stupid idea. The idea of mending your relationship. 

However, you were not so lucky, for Alastor soon opened the door. His smile twitched as his eyes fixed on you, and if you weren't imagining things, you thought you heard a soft chirping sound behind him.

"Yes?" Those were the first words he had uttered to you in 23 days. The only words you had allowed him to say to you in 23 days. 

Swalloing the stone in your throat, you let out in a rushed ramble:

"Canyouhelpmewithmycrossword?"

"I'm sorry?"  

"My crossword," you said, trying not to have a shaky voice, "can you help me with a clue? I can't figure it out."

You held out your newspaper with the crossword to him, pointing at the specific clue you had in mind. In reality, you had already figured it out 30 minutes ago, but Alastor didn't need to know that. He looked from you down to the newspaper, then back up at you again. His eyebrow raised. 

"Very well," was all he said as he looked down at the newspaper and the clue again, but by bending down, you now had his head right beside yours. You wondered if his big ears meant he could hear better and if he could hear your heart trying to beat out of your chest. Could he hear how it called out to him? How it had howled at your mind to let him back into your life again.

"The answer is Erato, the muse," answered Alastor and straightened up again.

"Oh, right. That makes sense," and that was when you remembered that Erato wasn't just any muse, but a muse whose name meant desire, and never had you desired for the smallest of touch from another before. Looking down at his lips, so red and soft, knowing what they had felt like on your cheek but maybe never getting the chance to touch them again was torture. 

"Was there anything else?"

Like a record scratch, you were hurled back into reality, looking back up at Alastor, who was studying you intensely. This is where your mind won over your heart, and you became a coward again. 

"No! Thank you for the help!" you practically screamed as you stiffly stormed down the hallway, away from the sinner who closed the door to his domain, and you wondered if it was painful to die. 

Work was slowly killing you, and it was not a pleasurable experience. Buried in paperwork, you had been staring at a document for the past half hour without really taking in the information. No matter how many times you would re-read the document, the words made less sense as you kept reading. Blurring together in one big mess that drained you of all your energy, the clock had not even struck 09:00 yet. 

Overwhelmed, you buried your face in your hands, your body leaning on the desk for support. You wondered how you were going to make it through the day if it continued at this excruciatingly slow pace. 

After a slight knocking, the door swung open, and someone entered your office. 

"Not now, Charlie," you said softly so as not to offend without looking up, "I told you I'm fine. I don't need you to check on me." 

However, no answer came, and when you looked up, you realised that it wasn't Charlie who had come knocking at your door again but Alastor, who was holding your favourite cup in his hand and a bag in the other.  

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you," you said and began to stand up, but you slowly dropped down when Alastor walked over to your desk and sat down your cup. The smell of coffee filled your office and the mere thought of having that sweet beverage filled you with delight. Beside the cup, Alastor put down the brown bag he had held, and you instantly recognised the logo of the bakery from across town that you loved so much. 

As you looked at the bag, you felt a sudden jolt of surprise that made your body shake. You raised your gaze to Alastor, who was standing in front of you, and then back to the bag. You couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth spreading through you as you thought about the blueberry muffin that was waiting inside. It was such a simple thing, but it made you feel wanted. What a wonder that such a small thing could make you feel so special and warm on the inside. 

That warmth was something you hadn't felt in a long time. Ever since Alastor's shadow stopped visiting your office, you had felt incredibly lonely. You missed the little conversations you used to have with him and the way he always seemed to know just what to do to make you feel better. You even found it hard to go to the bakery and get your muffin in the morning because it made you feel too alone for your liking.

But now, as you had the bag in front of you, you felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe things were finally starting to look up again. Maybe Alastor was back in your life for good, and you could once again look forward to those little moments of happiness that made your day a little brighter. 

"I... thank you, Alastor. I greatly appreciate it." Your heart skipped a beat when Alastor looked down at you and gave you a small, genuine smile. 

"You're welcome, my dear," he said softly as he turned to leave your office. His demeanour was calm and collected, yet you could sense a certain warmth and friendliness in his voice.

"Have you seen the roses yet?" the words rushed out of you before you could hold yourself back, too desperate for his company now that you had gotten it back. 

"Pardon?" asked Alastor without turning around to look at you fully. His hands were resting on his microphone cane. 

"The roses, in the garden. They've bloomed, almost all of them. They're... they're breathtaking. You should see them." Your knee started to nervously bounce under your desk as sweat began to gather in your palms. The man had managed to render you a nervous wreck so fast, his presence alone stirring up a whirlwind of emotions within you. 

"No, I haven't seen them yet. I'll make sure to walk around the garden on my break today. I can imagine that they are lovely." 

Thinking this was the end of the conversation, you turned back to your dreadfully dull documents.

"Would you care to join me?" asked Alastor, his soft yet hesitant voice making your heart skip a beat. It was as if the air around you had suddenly become charged with an unspoken tension, making you wonder if he was nervous as well.  

"In the garden?"

"Yes." 

"I... I would love to." 

"Wonderful. I'll come to get you around twelve if that works for you."

"Great! I look forward to it."

As he walked out, you couldn't help but sit back in your chair and take a deep breath. You felt a sense of relief and contentment, knowing that Alastor still seemed to want to try a new connection—something new and unexplored. You picked up your coffee and took a sip, letting the warmth of the liquid spread through your body. Alastor had managed to wake the butterflies within you again with a single act of kindness.  

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Your and Alastor's relationship had improved immensely over the week. However, there was just this little problem that kept bugging you. Alastor had not touched you in any way, not even laid his hand on your shoulder or offered his arm when the both of you had walked through the rose garden. While this wasn't uncommon, you rarely saw him really touch anyone in the hotel except for the odd pat on the head, but his shadow had been so physically affectionate that you yearned for the intimacy of it all. 

While not overly affectionate, the shadow had not hesitated to hold your hand or rest on your shoulders. It wasn't that you wanted to carry Alastor on your back, but the simple act of holding hands seemed like a distant dream. 

You sank deeper into the sofa in the hotel lobby as you glanced at the deer demon sitting by the fireplace above your newspaper—your crossword puzzle long forgotten. Alastor was sitting cross-legged with a book in one hand and a glass of rye whisky in the other, silently humming to the song he played from the antique radio he had summoned, and for some reason, you thought that he had never looked more attractive.

Satan's sweaty balls, you used to party every weekend and only come home after you had tried every type of alcohol the club had to offer, and now you were in love with a sinner whose favourite pastime was listening to jazz while drinking whisky. Your younger self would have hated what you had become, but in the present, you felt a deep sense of contentment, wanting nothing more than to have a quiet evening with Alastor, where he would read out loud to you from his book in front of the fire with your head in his lap, listening to jazz.

Angel Dust shouted a loud good night and started to walk up the stairs to his room after another hour had passed. Charlie and Vaggie, who had been sitting by the dining table and doing a jigsaw puzzle, were the next ones who left the lobby. Charlie's good night was barely audible because of how much she was yawning. The last one to leave the lobby was Husk, who you knew stayed longer than he usually did just so he could keep an eye on you. You quickly shot him a meaningful glaze, trying to tell him that everything was fine, which he seemed to understand. 

"Night," grunted Husk as he started to walk up the stairs. 

"Good night, Husk!" you shouted back, grateful that you and Alastor had some more time alone. That is if you actually dared to do anything. 

The chance to change the mood was almost too good, too romantic for you to think clearly. There were so many possibilities as to what you could do. You could ask him about his day, but that felt too predictable. You could ask him about his book, but what if the book is boring and you can't make the conversation sexy? Would he even like that? He was flirty in a very subtle and charming way, but would he like it if you took a more direct approach? 

Without knowing it, you had spent all your time thinking of all the things you could do with Alastor now that you were alone with him that you completely lost track of time. It wasn't until he closed his book and stood up that you were pulled away from your thoughts back into the present. 

"Well, it is getting quite late. Sweet dreams, my dear." 

Panicking again like he so often made you do, you blurted out the first thing you could think of to make him stay. 

"Do you know the dance foxtrot?" You fucking idiot, of all the things you could have asked, why did you ask that?!

Alastor turned to you while raising a brow, and even if he looked at you with a curious gaze, you could not help but feel like the biggest fool in all of Hell. You used to be smooth when flirting and look at yourself now.

"I do. Why do you ask, my dear?" 

There was no backing down anymore, so you took a deep breath, cheeks and ears burning, and confessed;

"I've always wanted to try it! I've seen others dancing it, I even know the moves, but I've never had anyone to dance with." 

In the blink of an eye, the music on the radio changed from a soft and slow jazz song to one with a more precise and faster beat. Alastor bent down and left his book on his chair before he walked over to you. 

"May I have this dance?" he asked with a mischievous smile. 

Not caring anymore about dialling down your excitement, you gave him the biggest smile as you took his hand. Letting him pull you off the sofa. His hand was warm and soft, sending tingles up your arm as he gently stroked his thumb over your knuckles. 

As Alastor pulled you towards him, he quickly established that he would lead the dance. With your hand on his shoulder and his between your shoulder blades, he pushed you into the first step of the foxtrot. The rhythm of the music began to take over, and he started to spin you around the empty hotel lobby. You couldn't help but laugh, feeling the wind rushing against your skin as you twirled around and around. 

As he spun you, his red eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. You felt like the only person in the world as you looked deep into each other's eyes, lost in the moment. It was a look you didn't see often, but sometimes, when it was only you and him, you could catch a glimpse of a softer look from Alastor. A look that made the butterflies in your stomach make loops in excitement. It was a look that made you feel cherished and admired, and it was a feeling unlike any other. 

The dance seemed to last forever, and you didn't want it to end. You felt free and alive, and you knew that this was a moment that you would never forget. 

When the song came to an end, a new song began directly after it. This one is slower than its predecessor, one that you couldn't necessarily dance the foxtrot to, for it was a song that called for a type of slow dancing. 

Without hesitation, Alastor pulled you closer towards him as his hand moved from between your shoulder blades down your back. Leaving a trail of fire under your skin as his hand pulled you closer to him after it stopped in the middle of your back. 

None of you said anything but continued slowly dancing to the music on the radio. His red eyes, heavy-lidded, looked deep into yours as he slowly dipped down and kissed your lips.

Happy 'burn a big ass bonfire so the witches who are flying to the devil's party fly into the bonfire instead' day, everyone! (If you can guess which country I'm from, from that, I'll be really impressed)

Taglist for the part 2: @littledolly2345 @slytherin4ever @wendds @beelz3bub @adamwarlockislife-blog

@ilikemyteawithmilk @cherry-cola-100 @xia21 @rae-pottah @xsoftdead18

@arrozyfrijoles23 @maulsgf

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #53

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 18.4k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

It's fascinating how even after getting back to the front of Jungkook's car and a few minutes of riding back to the house, you can still feel the remains of the faintest – yet very noticeable – tingle from your previous orgasm. Jungkook – who remains to have that captivating orgasm glow or it's just your mind playing tricks on you – has put an end to your thirst, or at least that's what you thought for a short period of time. That's until you find yourself glancing his way while the aftermath of a great orgasm buzzes through your body.

If you weren't suspiciously coming back later than the actual ride is supposed to take, you wouldn't resist a possible round two. You can't believe yourself. This is not really like you. You never were driven by lust and pleasure before – at least not to this amount. Jungkook does wonders, not only to your body but to your mind as you often find yourself rethinking... well, yourself.

It's hard to explain, but it's like he brings out another person in you. Someone you never knew existed, at least not to this extent. You know the pleasure he gives you and the undeniable attraction is the reason why you're still doing this. It feels too fucking good to let go.

Before the unwanted thoughts start to invade your mind, the content feeling of being properly fucked just a few minutes ago is replaced by guilt. Not only Jungkook's father questions you of your later arrival, even though you're about ten minutes late, it's Haru and the sight of her that makes you feel bad for allowing yourself a few minutes of – absolutely perfect and irreplaceable – pleasure.

It's some time past nine in the evening, clouds no longer visible as they're replaced by the faintest stars that are sprinkled across the night sky. The garden is fully set up with beautiful outdoor lights, probably the only thing keeping Haru from falling asleep. She looks tired, Taehyung would surely call her wasted if that was possible. She's completely dozing off and though Jungkook's father (or anyone else) doesn't scold you for your arrival, because there's no reason for it, you understand his granddaughter is what sparked his curiosity.

Jungkook lies effortlessly. The lie rolls off his tongue almost skilfully as he blames the traffic and more customers in the grocery store than usual.

No one pays attention to it though, luckily for you, and they go back to their previous conversation. Mr. Jeon rushes to grill the sausages for his only granddaughter, Haru seemingly coming back to life as she assists him with her small hands.

"You really don't know how to act." Jungkook comments, handing you a can of beer which you gladly take, even though you weren't planning on drinking.

"What are you talking about?" you ask, opening the can followed with a hissing sound.

"Guilt is written all over your face, a way to look suspicious." he snorts, your mouth falling open in disbelief while you're being called out.

"Not everyone can lie so easily," you raise your brow at him, finding him cockily shrugging at his good acting skills. "Poor Haru, she's been waiting for the food and we took our time."

"That was us taking our time?" he snorts, raising his brow this time at you as you sheepishly offer him a doubtful shrug. "We both know that's not true. Besides, she was eating like an hour ago, she's not hungry, just greedy."

"Jungkook!" you exclaim, holding back a laugh at his completely honest expression while he shows no big deal of what he has just said.

"What, it's true!" he laughs, "I'm not gonna rush back to the house for some fucking sausages." he mutters mockingly so only you can hear, the beer almost coming out of your nose after you decide to take a sip right as he says it.

You laugh together, not being able to hold it back while you're trying to cover your mouth at least.

"Come on, you two! Join us!" Sona calls out to you, interrupting the moment between you two as she waves you over.

"You're living with Jungkook at the moment, right?"

It's something they all must've known at some point, though this is the first time anyone addresses it besides Mrs. Jeon's phone call you remember very freshly.

"Ah, yes." you grin, a little embarrassed for some reason.

Perhaps it's just you and your issue with not wanting to look incapable or like a burden. It's a whole another chapter to be talking about it in front of Jungkook's family. Though they've never given you a reason to feel embarrassed or weird about anything, you do find yourself tensing a little at the topic. Calm down, Y/N. They're just having a normal conversation with you.

After Sona's question, you offer them a brief explanation of what actually happened and force you to make this decision. They all seem understanding, making no big deal of you staying at Jungkook's place – even though you know there's no reason why they would make a big deal out of it. At the end of the day, it's Jungkook's business and not theirs. You do feel way better when they actually encourage you for your decision, assuring you that you've done the right thing.

"... I don't understand how someone can do that to the person they rent their place to." Mrs. Jeon scoffs a little, the rest of the family members nodding along her words as they silently agree.

"It's unfortunate really," Jungwon agrees, "But this can happen unfortunately."

"You mentioned something about finding a new place?" Sona asks curiously and you nod, a spark of hope crossing over your features as you nod with a smile.

"Yes!" you respond, "Well I haven't been there to see it yet, but the apartment looks good. Actually I texted the owner and I'm still waiting for him to get back to me, it seems like many people are interested in it. That's just my guess though."

"Well, we're gonna hope you get your own home soon." Mrs. Jeon smiles kindly at you. "Nothing's better than having your own place."

"Thank you." you smile kindly at her, appreciating the honesty and kindness.

Jungkook remains silent, at least was busy talking to his dad on the side for most of the time, but he's standing right next to you.

It got a little chilly and though you have one of Jungkook's hoodies on, you feel the warmth radiating off his body and you wish you could just snuggle closer to him to feel even warmer. Plus, you're getting tired even though it's not that late and cuddling always seems like a good option.

Sona and Jungwon say their goodbye's shortly after, poor Haru already falling asleep in her father's arms as he carries her to their car. You help Jungkook's parents to clean up and after the little nudge from Jungkook telling you to go wash up first, you listen to him. He must've noticed your tiredness and you smile at him appreciatively.

The shower feels nice and even though you would prefer taking a long bath, you stick to your shower routine rather quickly not to take up the bathroom for too long. Mr. Jeon takes his turn after the bathroom is free, offering you a tired yet warm smile before he scurries to their bedroom.

You lay on Jungkook's bed with the night lamp on, scrolling through your social media for a couple of minutes until you don't hear any other footsteps. Jungkook didn't come upstairs to wash up and you wonder what's taking him so long. After realizing you didn't bring a bottle of water to the bedroom, you sigh and make your way downstairs.

On your way down, you notice the lights are on in the living room and what sounds like soft sobs reach your ears. You halt your steps, breath hitching when you glance around the corner to find Jungkook's mom whose shoulders quiver as she cries to his shoulder. You mentally gasp at the sad sight, wondering what the hell happened.

Jungkook doesn't notice you at first, too busy hugging his mother with one hand as he gently caresses her arm.

"It's okay, mom." he mutters, voice slightly high while he can't bear the sight of his mother crying.

You don't mean to stick around, feeling like you're interrupting their moment for sure. However, just when you're about to forget the water and retrieve back to the room, Jungkook notices you. He sees the confusion, yet worry on your face while he sends a soft, but broken smile in return. You fight the urge to go there and be there for him, but you know now it's not the right time and you have to put your worry aside.

It doesn't make sense, at least not until Mrs. Jeon sniffles and says into Jungkook's shoulder;

"How could she do that to you?"

You swear your heart drops the moment she speaks, Jungkook's eyes staying on yours while he raises his brows in a silent empathy.

"You went through that all alone?"

Her voice cracks and Jungkook presses his lips together to prevent himself from breaking down. He looks composed though, and strong because no matter what his mother is going through right now after finding out what her son went through, he came to terms with it. He experienced heartbreak, pain and loss, but he's moving on and it doesn't hurt like it used to.

It doesn't make it easier to see his mother's understandable reaction though.

"Shh, I'm okay mom. I'm okay." he assures her, voice slightly breaking as he hugs her closer, placing his cheek against the top of her head as she continues to cry for him.

Deciding you shouldn't stick around, you offer Jungkook a tiny and sad smile before you quickly make your way upstairs.

When the room is swallowed in darkness and you stare into the ceiling, you keep replaying the scene you've just seen. You wonder if she's okay. If Jungkook is too. He seemed fine. He looked mostly sad because of his mother crying which is understandable. Their bond is strong.

It's clear what Jungkook revealed to his mother and though you're not sure how much he told her, you know it had to be heartbreaking to hear it. She loves her sons deeply, and to know Jungkook really had a hard time and she didn't know, wasn't there for him, is enough to be heartbreaking for any mother.

Jungkook never specifically said he won't tell her. But he might've hinted on not wanting to, fearing her reaction and for mostly, hurting her with the truth. In a way, he was protecting her from it.

There are continuous footsteps and sounds of movements outside of the room, soon replaced by door closing and shower running. You keep tossing in the bed, wondering whether you should go downstairs and check on Jungkook once the whole house quiets down.

You don't really want to come out as nosy and if Jungkook wanted to let you know, he would already stop by. Not going to lie, you are curious to know what he told her even though it's obvious. But you're mostly worried.

Sighing in annoyance to yourself, you get out of the bed as your feet pad against the floor. Just as you're reaching for the door handle, it suddenly gets pushed open before you can even touch it, causing you to almost shit yourself.

"Shit!"

"Heard that one before."

"Oh my god," you touch your forehead to rub it a few times as Jungkook sneaks inside the room, the amusement once again present in his voice as he silently laughs at your reaction. "You scared me."

"Where were you going?" he asks, ignoring your statement as you both make your way to the bed. At least you do and Jungkook follows.

"To check on you," you answer. "But I didn't know if I should. I told myself you would come here if you wanted to talk."

"I came." he says gently, getting under the covers with you but you decide not to comment on it.

You lay on your back, back staring at your ceiling as you stay in utter silence. Jungkook lays on his side, turned to you while his fingertips start to draw random patterns on your exposed arm. You gulp, close to shivering from how nice it feels.

"I told her," he says quietly.

You lick your dry lips, humming in return. "What did you tell her?"

Jungkook knows you know what the topic of their conversation was. He hears it in your voice. And he's aware of you asking what exactly he told her. So he simply says;

"Everything."

"Everything as in...?" you trail off and Jungkook chuckles at how careful you appear to be.

"Yes, everything."

That's all you need to know.

"How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly, okay." he says, surprised by himself. "I thought I would feel awful after telling her what I've been through, especially since she asked you and obviously had her doubts. You know I don't want to bother her, not even when it comes to me." he whispers as he explains.

You nod understandably.

"It wasn't easy to see her breaking down in front of me. I don't like to see people I care about cry. It's one of the reasons why I don't share my personal struggles."

"I know, that's awfully touching and annoying for us." you joke quietly, causing him to quietly laugh.

"But she's okay. I think she mostly cried because I didn't tell her sooner. But I think she would cry either way, no matter the time." he chuckles a little sadly.

"Why did you tell her? I thought you didn't want them to know."

"To be honest, I was planning it. I don't really need them looking at me differently, or to pity me from a distance even though I'm aware they all care extremely about me. I just want to be the same Jungkook for them, you know what I mean?"

You nod.

"But when you were talking with Sona, mom and dad, even Jungwon... asked me about Kiko and as you know, I only told them we broke up because our relationship wasn't what it was. They just asked about her, and couldn't possibly understand what must've happened for us to break things off. And I get it, I do. They saw our relationship from the front row as some might say, she was practically our family,"

He takes a breath.

"From what I understood, they thought we're on good terms and I don't know... I guess I felt sick of hiding it from them. It felt right to tell them at that time, so I started with mom. Coincidentally, she asked about how I'm doing and all that, it was just a great opportunity to tell her."

"I'm happy for you, Kook. I mean, I don't know if that's the right thing to say but I hope you feel better after telling them." you tell him gently as the caressing of his fingers stops for a second.

"I'm not sure if I feel better, I can't really define it. I just feel like I don't have this burden on my chest, you know?"

"Well, as long as you don't regret telling her, I think it's a good thing you feel this way."

"I don't regret it. I'm gonna tell Jungwon tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet him before we return back home. I asked mom to tell dad, I don't really want to go through that all over again but I'm sure my dad won't cry his eyes out for me. He's a tough guy."

You know what he means.

His father might not have a reaction like his wife had, but it's still going to be painful for him to hear Jungkook's story.

You yawn, turning onto your side to face Jungkook as he retrieves his hand, chuckling at the evident tiredness.

"Shit, I don't know why I'm so tired. I woke up the last out of everyone." you scold yourself, much to Jungkook's amusement.

"I took a number on you, huh?"

You roll your eyes, not really denying it because that has definitely something to do with it.

"Are you gonna sleep here?" you yawn again, cuddling to your pillow as Junkook snorts.

"Of course, this is my bedroom."

With your closed eyes, you smile tiredly. "Your mom–"

"My mom won't do anything," he interrupts you, "What she doesn't know won't kill her."

You snort, "You're unbelievable."

"So are you, baby." he muses, "Now go to sleep."

You let out a laugh, ignoring the flattering of your heart from the usual and dearing pet name, allowing yourself to fall asleep in Jungkook's close and comfortable proximity.

"So... what do you think?"

Jungkook awaited this question, so once you turn around with an excitement plastered all over your face, it's no surprise. You've been practically glowing the moment you crossed the doorstep. To be honest, he's sure you've been impressed as soon as you got out of the car and saw the neighborhood.

You've been back from Busan for three days when the owner of the apartment you're interested in finally gave you the date to go there and have a look. Of course he agreed when you asked him if he's going to accompany you. He promised you he'll be there for you. And so he is.

The building is unique and so is the apartment itself. The owner told you you could bring your own furniture since there's no bed, couch or anything you were forced to sell because of what happened with the other apartment. It doesn't bother you for sure, he's sure of it because he knows you're excited to furniture it again. You're also excited to have a place of your own, even if it's still a rented apartment but unfortunately, you can't afford to get a mortgage nor do you want to do that at the moment.

Jungkook knows all about your plans, you've talked about them a few times.

So when he sees happiness, hope and excitement – there is no reason why he should lie to you.

"It's great. I love it." he smiles and you almost squeal in another excitement but you're trying to contain it.

The owner seems to be nice – in his forties – living nearby with his wife and kids. He loves this apartment so much that he didn't want to hire any real estate agent. He could've easily avoided any other responsibility but it looks like he cares about who's going to live in his apartment. He even tells you – amongst telling you every important information about the apartment – how this was the first apartment he was able to buy. He lived here with his girlfriend who's now his wife.

"It's small enough for four of us, so we had to move out when my wife got pregnant but trust me. If we all could fit here, we would be living here." He told you which made both of you chuckle.

"I would say this place is wonderful for a young couple." Mr. Hwang – as he introduced himself to you – butts in while your eyes widen.

"Oh no, we're not–this apartment is just for me." you explain, Jungkook looking around completely unfazed by the assumption. Don't people always assume something?

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He's quick to apologize.

He had no way to know it's only for you. Well, you did contact him about being interested but you never really shared information about you being the only one who would live there. And to be completely clear, you came here with Jungkook which wouldn't have to mean anything at all – but his assumption isn't this huge mistake.

Still, you find your cheeks getting warm as you assure him it's alright.

Mr. Hwang excuses himself when his phone starts to ring and he leaves you both standing in the middle of the living room.

"Why do people always have to assume whenever a woman is seen with a man, they have to automatically date?" you hiss once he's away.

You turn to Jungkook who looks at you with big eyes, before they narrow into thin slits as he laughs at your showing annoyance.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

Jungkook cracks a grin, "I don't care what people think." he shrugs causing you to groan.

In reality, Jungkook understands your frustration and it's not like you're overly frustrated because of it. Observant and maybe a tad annoyed is the right definition.

"Stop with the sour face."

His brows shoot up as he looks at you confusingly. "What sour face?"

"You really don't want me to move out?" you ask him with a grin, slowly making your way in his direction as the teasing begins and Jungkook is aware of it. Which is why he responds with a roll of his doe eyes.

"I'm happy you found your place."

"That's not what I'm talking about," you point out, giggling when he narrows his eyes at you in annoyance. "Would you really want me to take up your office? Come on, we both know it wasn't ideal."

"I like having you as my roommate," he informs and then cracks a grin, "Even if you take up my office space."

You nudge him in his chest causing him to laugh. You bicker a little, especially by trying to pinch or grab one another. That's until Mr. Hwang comes back, apologizing again for having to take the call. It causes you to act like proper adults instead of kids bickering with each other.

When he asks the important question, you share a look with Jungkook and despite his previous words, he encourages you with a smile and soft nod which makes you look excitedly at Mr. Hwang.

"Yes. I'd love to live here."

The next few days are hectic.

Not only are you about to move into your new apartment, there is loads of stuff to be bought and ordered. Jungkook helps you every step of the way, even driving you to all the furniture shops your mind comes up with. Not mentioning he's the one carrying the heavy things and disassembling your bed.

You feel bad though.

As per usual, he assures you it's okay and he's happy to help. You both know you have no one else who would do this much for you. Jimin and Taehyung would try but – do they even know how to disassemble a single bed? They would probably mess around the whole time.

All of this happened fast.

Mr. Hwang told you you could move in right after the contract has been signed and you paid the deposit. You wouldn't want to waste any more time than it's necessary. So you started ordering the furniture pieces you need, having them delivered to your new address. Everything should arrive tomorrow and today happens to be your last day living in Jungkook's apartment.

Despite your excitement and anticipation of decorating your new home, you do feel sad gathering all your things and packing them back to the boxes that were never thrown away.

Jungkook isn't the only one who got used to having a roommate.

If it was anyone else, you're not sure if you would feel comfortable with them. With Jungkook, everything is different and even if this was for the time being, you felt comfortable and his place felt like home to you.

Not going to lie. You will miss his amazing bathtub and shower.

"You can come take a bath anytime you want."

That's what he told you and brought a smile to your faces.

"Should we do anything special? Celebrate?" Jungkook asks as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Hm, what do you have in mind?"

It's already evening – too late to make any big celebrations. Do you even feel like celebrating? You've both been back to working, even Jimin and Taehyung have been busy with their jobs.

"Take-away and maybe a glass of wine?" he suggests, not really having much to offer considering the time. None of you are in the mood to get dressed up and go out.

After a whole day of working and then packing as soon as you've gotten home – to Jungkook's place – going out is out of the question.

So take-away and a glass of wine it is.

You both clean up, wiping all the sweat from the entire day. While you're in a shower, Jungkook orders food after checking with you and even though you've agreed – you're still touched to see your favorite food which happens to be Korean food from a local restaurant. It's the one that's slightly pricey but worth every penny.

You talk, mostly about tomorrow's plans since you have to wake up early to get to your new place where the new furniture will be delivered. Jimin and Taehyung are supposed to come too to help, which you appreciate. They wouldn't take any of your words for a "no", insisting on helping you. Well, you didn't protest too much. Four people do more work than just two – you're sure Jungkook is the one who's got the most work.

The wine tastes nice and you're on your second glass when you feel your face getting a nice warm temperature. It suddenly makes you oddly sad to be sitting in Jungkook's kitchen, almost like saying goodbye which is ridiculous.

Jimin was right.

You're bad with changes.

You never denied it.

And this is one of them. You know you will bounce back once you're alone, but now having Jungkook close and thinking you won't be waking up every morning knowing there's someone else there, feels sad.

You also know how fortunate you're when it comes to finding this apartment. And for it to be only yours. Most people have to have a roommate, if not more than one. This opportunity feels like a sign for the universe and you should be joyful about it. You are. But you will miss this.

Once you're done, teeth brushed and tucked in Jungkook's bed, there's something unspoken lingering in the air as you both lay in the room with lights off. With your bed already ready to be taken to your new place tomorrow, Jungkook's bed seems like the best option for you and who are you not to use this opportunity. You hate to admit how much you enjoy simply being next to him, a nice feeling before you will have your bed all to yourself and you'll be left alone.

A couple of minutes of constant staring at the ceiling slowly turns to shifting, you sigh as you rub your face. On the other side of the bed, Jungkook turns to face you as the thin sheets rustle around him. You thought he fell asleep by now.

"Are you okay?" he chuckles, causing you to do the same when you realize you haven't been very subtle at showing your lack of exhaustion.

The thing is that you're tired, especially from the wine but somehow you can't fall asleep. It's nothing unusual since it happened to you quite a few times.

"Are you nervous about the moving process?" Jungkook asks softly as you turn to your side to properly face him, a hand tucked beneath your cheek as you give him a sigh.

"No. Not really, I'm excited." you admit, "I just can't seem to be tired enough."

"You know... I'm proud of you. I don't think I've told you that these days." Jungkook says as your brows shoot up in a silent surprise.

"Proud of me?" you breathe out a chuckle.

"Mhm," he hums, "I know you felt like a nuisance which is far from the truth, I know you hate relying on someone else but look at you. You've found yourself a new place, you've got a good job and you're doing good."

Your heart warms up at his thoughtful and caring words. They feel like the greatest balm onto your beating heart. To hear someone is proud of you – you don't get to hear that often – is something that makes you nearly emotional and you hold back any tears that might come out.

It's not Jungkook's intention to make you cry or him wanting to turn into a sappy person in the middle of the night. He's warm and caring when it's needed but he doesn't say this kind of stuff often either. So it makes you cherish this moment even more.

"Thank you." you whisper softly, smiling at Jungkook who you're not sure can even see you.

A gentle sound comes out of his mouth, the one who tells you he has smiled back.

A sudden urge to pee interrupts the moment though and you groan, informing Jungkook about having to use the bathroom. He laughs while you make your way to the bathroom. Once you're done, Jungkook seems to be still fully awake which isn't much of a surprise. You didn't expect him to be asleep in two minutes – which you wouldn't put past him too much.

You lay back on the bed, adjusting your pillow before your head falls back onto the soft material.

Not even five minutes later, you groan once again rather loudly, slapping your arms at your sides as Jungkook cackles silently. Standing up, you make your way to the kitchen when you turn on the dim lightning. Opening the fridge, you take out the cold bottle of wine that you and Jungkook haven't finished. You pour yourself a glass of wine, hoping for it to tire you some more.

Sipping on the wine, you try not to think about how depressing you must look like – mentally laughing at the image. You've got no thoughts, just simply enjoying the taste of wine and your last night at this place.

A sound of soft footsteps follows and a moment after, Jungkook joins you in the kitchen with squinted eyes as he scans you and the glass of wine in your hand. "You okay?" He cracks a grin as you silently giggle and nod.

Are you? You're not sure because of the lack of clothing he's wearing. You swear you could stare at those abs all day.

"Just can't sleep."

"And wine is going to help?" He grins, wrapping his fingers around your hand as he tilts the glass in his direction as he takes a sip. Lips in a straight line for a second, he tastes the flavor on his lips while his eyes flicker to yours, waiting for your answer.

Too preoccupied with staring at him, you realize you haven't responded as you avert your gaze and crack another grin. "Should it not?"

He leans against the counter, arms crossing over his chest and biceps bulging, you choose to take a sip to distract yourself. But trying to distract yourself in Jungkook's presence is almost impossible, especially when he opens that dirty mouth of his.

"I could've tired you out in a much more sophisticated way."

The wine almost gets through your nose and with a hand over your mouth, you're trying not to choke as Jungkook shoots you a pleased smirk.

He might've caught you off guard, but you can't deny what could possibly be a verbal act of teasing, does to you. Your body heats up at his suggestion and instead of scolding him, you decide to play his own game. That's what the two of you do, right? Tease each other until you properly act on it. You wouldn't mind that outcome to be honest.

"You could've. I don't know why you didn't suggest it while we were in bed." you hum, turning to him a little as you swirl the goldish liquid in your glass.

Jungkook's eyes spark with mischief and amusement, tongue poking his cheek. "I don't need a bed for that though."

One point for him.

"Hm, really?" you muse, biting your lower lip as you finish the glass and place it back on the counter.

Stepping closer to him, you're face to face as you confidently place your palms over his buffed exposed chest. The skin is warm and soft, edging you to feel him up until you have enough. Controlling yourself, you focus on his eyes instead while something rolls in the pit of your stomach. Palms giving him soft caressing, staying solely on his chest, you mimic his tiny smirk.

"So you could ruin me?" You recall what he told you.

The truth is, you haven't forgotten and you've caught yourself thinking about it too many times. What are Jungkook's boundaries? What does he want to do to your body? Perhaps if this was any other man, you wouldn't be so adamant on finding out. But you trust Jungkook with every fiber in your body, there's nothing but curiosity, excitement and lust.

Something flickers in his gaze, a recognition of his once said words as he stares you down amusingly.

"I know what you're doing."

"Hm, what am I doing?" you ask, playfully glancing at him once again as you catch yourself staring at his chest, where your hands caress it.

"You little minx, you know." he chuckles, "You're trying to provoke me."

"Oh, I do?" you feign innocence, chuckling at yourself right after while you and Jungkook share a knowing look.

This constant teasing and provoking is what makes your body heat up. It's hard not to squeeze your legs together as a wave of arousal washes through you.

Jungkook leans down, hands on your lower back as he squeezes your sides, inching his face closer to yours. His nose touches yours and you're embarrassed how quickly you're prepared for the kiss. But the kiss never happens and Jungkook decides to play with you for a while, nudging his nose against yours before he opens his dirty mouth again.

"You horny?"

Groaning and ignoring his laugh, you slap his chest and take a step back. "You just ruined it."

He laughs louder, rubbing his nose before he catches you before you can walk away, turning you with your back facing him. He presses you against him, your ass touching his crotch while he squeezes your hips once again.

"What's ruined can be fixed."

And then he delivers a soft kiss to your jaw.

"That's very debatable." you breathe out, turning around as much as you enjoyed his lips on your skin.

Wanting to gain at least some kind of dominance, you press him harder into the counter as you raise your brow at him in challenge. A tiny smirk comes to your lips. Your hands no longer stay on his chest, making way down to his abs that flex under your touch and you let out a breathy chuckle. Jungkook's watching you, cocking his brow at you when you glance at him. He's waiting for your next step and deciding you want to make him react, you cup his groin as your thumb caresses the head hidden beneath his boxers.

He wasn't expecting you to do that, therefore he flinches at the sudden and straight-forward touch and your lips curve in a silent win.

"What? You think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeve?" you tease, his doe eyes narrowing as he licks his lips.

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you feel your walls of short-lived dominance and power falling down. Especially when he flickers gently your chin with his index finger.

"Not at all."

"So?" You raise your brow in impatience again.

"So, what?"

You roll your eyes while he tries to hide a smile. "I'm starting to think you're all talk, Jeon."

His brows shoot up before he nods with his lips pursed in a mocking manner.

"Yeah, you are. Talking about ruining me, then saying I'm not ready. Whatever that means... and then you don't do any–what the hell?"

Tucking his arms behind your thighs, in one swift movement you're thrown over Jungkook's shoulder. He tries to stabilize you through your yelps and once you're safe, he starts walking to his bedroom.

A rush of excitement overcomes your body and just when you giggle, a slap is delivered onto your ass which shuts you up.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook kicks the bedroom door ajar and sets you onto his bed.

"You want me to ruin you?" he asks, standing at the end of the bed as he stares down at you and your disheveled appearance due to your shock.

Walking to his nightstand, he turns off his night lamp and you get a perfect view of his darkened eyes.

"Isn't that what I asked for?" you breathe out, not hiding how breathy you got all of a sudden. The adrenaline and lust do their job.

"I will ruin you until you cry." It sounds like a promise.

"You sound confident." you comment, smirking as he frowns before he hovers over you.

Not responding, he starts kissing your jaw slowly continuing down your neck as he tugs on your oversized shirt but he doesn't urge you to take it off. Nor he says anything once he pulls away, giving you a subtle smirk before he plops on his back in the middle of the bed. He lowers down onto the soft pillows.

"Come here."

You sit up, confused and curious, and make your way towards him as he ushers you to get on his lap. You do, trying not to stare at the slowly growing bulge between his thighs while he licks his lips.

"Sit on my face."

"Pardon?"

He laughs silently, making himself even more comfortable with your weight on him. "Sit on my face."

You know what that means. Despite not trying it before, you're not a clueless person to these things. You just can't believe you're actually hearing him say it.

"I know it's cliché to say this but... wouldn't I suffocate you? Because I'm not sure if I can hold myself up for too—"

"Y/N, baby," he sighs, "Just fucking come sit on my face."

"Okay." you repeat, releasing a nervous chuckle as you stare down at your shirt.

"Take it off. All of it." he prompts you and you listen.

His eyes never leave your figure, watching silently the entire time you undress right in front of him. He eyes you up and down as if you were the finest meal, even though he has seen you naked more than any of the men you've been before. Men – if they can be called that.

It's one of the things why it works so well between you and him. He makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. There might be times when you're nervous, wondering what he's thinking about you or your body, though he never gave you even a reason to question him about that. Jungkook might be great at hiding a lot of things, but voicing how much he likes sex with you is not one of them. You both aren't hiding this obvious fact.

He stares at your hardened nipples, before he watches you take off your underwear and toss it on the floor. And then with the slightest smirk, he motions for you to get closer to him and finally sit on his face.

You're impossibly wet, but rather than feel embarrassed about it, you get this boost of confidence and dominance once you hover over Jungkook. He grabs you by the back of your thighs, moving your heat right in front of his face as he takes in the sight. Licking his lips, he briefly tells you to grab onto the headboard.

His hot breath fans you between your thighs and you shudder, your hands grabbing the wooden headboard before he pushes you down onto his face. You gasp, both from the shock and indescribable feeling of Jungkook's mouth on you. His nose pokes your clit, tongue gathering the wetness before his mouth starts to move.

You're trying to hold yourself up, somewhere in the back of your mind still thinking about not wanting to physically hurt him but as soon as you move even an inch from his face, he growls and pushes you down.

"Holy shit."

Jungkook's mouth is preoccupied, therefore there is no time for any verbal reactions but even then, he hums pleasantly against you and you swear you hear him moaning in the middle of it.

Back arching and body moving on its own, you start grinding against his face while your knuckles turn white from how hard you're gripping the black wood. Apart from this being a completely new sensation and experience for you, you would give Jungkook the highest rate there could be. Losing a track of time and focusing on the pleasure, you inform him of being close to reaching an awesome orgasm that could easily tire you out.

Your body tenses, barely comprehending what's happening around you or even outside of this apartment, you're waiting for the sudden snap of the knot that's sitting in the pit of your stomach.

But as easily the hunt for orgasm has come, it leaves even quicker once Jungkook stops moving his mouth and pushes you up. Your face is curled in mortification, worried you might've suffocated him and the fit of scolding is on tip of your tongue once you quickly check on him.

However – despite his heavy breathing – you're met with his glistening face and mouth curved in satisfaction. "You're not cumming that easily, baby."

You get off him, staring wide-eyed with an open mouth, you stutter over your words. Is he seriously in the mood to deny your orgasm? You wanted to play but this is now what you had in mind. But before any complaints could make it into the thick air, Jungkook sits up and wipes his face with your shirt that's been laying on the edge of his bed. He tosses it on the ground, focusing on you once again as he grabs you by the back of your neck and kisses you harshly.

Annoyance comes and goes as soon as you feel his soft pillows, tasting yourself on his tongue. He hums into the kiss, detaching your lips despite your whines.

Leaning his forehead against yours, you're too close to kiss him again. As if he could read your mind, he chuckles raspily as he gently shakes his head.

"Jeon, just fuck me." you whine, pouting at him which makes him laugh again.

"I will," he promises, gently giving a rub to your chin with his thumb. "Do we need a condom?"

He asked what?

Surprised, you pull away slightly to stare at his face to make sure you heard him right, but the same question lingers in his dark awaiting eyes.

"You heard me right," he assures you, chuckling again as he can't help but find you both funny and cute. "Do we need a condom?"

You don't realize what weight his question holds, though it's pretty simple. He's asking you if you want to act upon your desire now. The one that's been on your mind for what seems like forever. Maybe now it's not the right time to be thinking how much you appreciate him asking you beforehand, even though it's a bare minimum you would discuss anyway. But still, he's waiting for your answer and the call is completely up to you. You're the one holding power.

Knowing you could easily say no for whatever reason, Jungkook has definitely a pack of condoms hidden somewhere. He's letting you know he's fine with either.

"Are you sure?" you ask silently, trying to shake yourself out of the shock as he gives you a gentle smile that almost melts your heart.

"I am," he confirms, "Are you?"

This being the last night you actually live together, it does seem like a nice way to say goodbye to you being roomies, a way to celebrate it perhaps. Or it's just your stupid thoughts but whatever it is, you've known your answer right after he asked it. All the possible arguments with yourself or annoying overthinking is pushed aside.

"We don't need it." you confirm this time, ignoring how excited you're getting by the thought.

"Then lay back for me."

You do, staring at the ceiling for a second before you watch him make his way out of the room. Confused and baffled, you mentally sigh in relief once he comes back not even a minute after, showing you the sex toy in his hand.

"Why?" you ask simply, giggling when he tosses it next to you and hover over you with a toothy grin.

"You'll see."

Opening your mouth to complain, he shuts you up with his own mouth as he gives you a few very needed kisses as he pulls away. You rank your hands down his chest and to the hem of his boxers, pouting a little.

"I wanted to have my own fun with you." you shamelessly admit, making him laugh.

"Some next time, yeah?"

"But why?" you whine, rubbing him through his underwear just to find him fully hard.

"Oh, you're impatient, aren't you?" you tease and he rolls his eyes, poking you in your rib as you giggle.

"That might be the reason. But I also need you to be fully present. You can choke on my cock some other time."

You choke on your spit, slapping his bicep as he hides his face in the crook of your neck to hide his smile. He gently bites you there, a low hum making it out of your mouth. Despite his words, you still sneak your hand under his boxers and give him a few pumps. He lets out a breathy chuckle, looking down at you through lust filled eyes.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he chuckles.

"Nope."

The smile on your face doesn't last long, how can it when in one swift motion, Jungkook turns you over and harshly puts your ass up, hands gripping the soft flesh. His breath fans over the side of your face before his lips brush against your ear. "Is this how you want it?"

Honestly, you don't care in what position he puts you in. As long as he finally fucks you.

"Yeah. Just please, do something." you whine a little, perching your ass up much to his amusement.

He palms your ass. "Last chance, Y/N." Jungkook reminds you, causing you to lift your face up as you glance at him.

Blowing out a slow breath, you crack a tiny grin. "You want me to change my mind?" you tease, but raise your brow while you wait for his answer.

"Just reminding you because there's no going back."

The only reason he's reminding you of this is because of you. At the beginning, you had a hard time admitting out loud you want him like this. Most people probably don't take this seriously just as much as you do. You've been unsure from the start, though the excitement and curiosity has been piqued. You're responsible, always took precautionary measures – both of you did – because you're not in a position to risk anything. Jungkook and you don't sleep with other people, that's the whole point of you hooking up together in the first place. But you both still made sure you were safe.

But now you're about to take that part of safety away. It makes you a little paranoid, considering Jungkook's previous situation but it's not fair to compare it to that. That's what has been stopping you from fully saying fuck it and just do it. But you want to do exactly that.

Why is this even a big deal?

People have unprotected sex all the time. You and Jungkook know each other, and trust each other. He's not a stranger. You'll do this one time and you're done. You'll quench your curiosity, excitement and thirst – everything will go back to normal.

You're done overthinking this. This is what you want. What you both want.

And Jungkook is still here, making sure he won't possibly ruin things. He wants to check in with you, even now when you're seconds from pinning him to the mattress and doing things your own way.

"I know," you whisper. "I don't want to go back. I won't."

He studies your face for a second longer, leaning toward you as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. You shiver, arching your ass as it brushes over his length making him chuckle at your anticipation.

"Alright, let's do this. Let me ruin you."

"I'm all yours." you comment amusingly, facing forward as Jungkook lets out a soft laugh.

Fuck, this is really happening. Your heart is racing when you hear Jungkook taking off his boxers, going back to his previous position that is behind you. The mattress dips under his weight and knees, hands gripping your ass as he spreads your cheek apart. Cool air hits you between your thighs, your core aching for him and only him. Fuck, you've never wanted him inside you this much.

"You're dripping baby." he says as the tip of his fingers touches your wetness, rubbing you up and down which makes you let out a shameless whimper.

"Don't comment on that, it's embarrassing." you manage to choke out, cheek pressed back against the sheets while your breathing quickens up.

Jungkook breathes out another chuckle, "I find it hot."

He retrieves his fingers, something you only feel and ready to whine again, you're interrupted when you hear a humming sound coming from his lips as he licks his fingers off. Holy shit. There's no time to look back, to see the devouring sight that's stolen from you because of your position. All is forgotten when the long awaiting friction suddenly comes, the head of his cock poking your clit as he smears your wetness there. You're a fucking mess. 

Embarrassed to admit this, you're already close to cumming and he has barely done anything. You're not kidding, you're going crazy because of this.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place and get a good grip on you, his other hand is wrapped around his cock as he aligns it with your hole. Holding your breath, your whole body tingles with anticipation and excitement. And then finally. The head of his cock presses against your opening, sinking inside you as your wet and warm walls stretch around him. Since you haven't been stretched before this, the pressure brings the greatest pain and pleasure at the same time and holy fuck, it feels like you're in an entire different universe. You feel every inch of him, everything you haven't felt before because of the stupid barrier in form of condoms. And even knowing that he's still pushing himself inside you, you know it's going to be freaking hard to go back to condoms.

Whole body shuddering, you let out a low, almost inaudible moan into the sheets, gripping them in your fists as Jungkook finally fills you to the brim. Oh my god.

"Mhm, fuck." he mutters behind you, his cock twitching inside you.

The completely new feeling comes rushing down on you as your whole body crumbles down, walls clenching around his thick and hard length as you shamelessly grind and let go. This has never happened to you before, the realization not hitting you until you calm down from your high.

"Holy fuck. Did you just cum?" Jungkook asks in awe, hands gripping your ass even tighter.

Fuck, you really did. 

It's more than clear to him. He could never mistake your orgasm for something else. But rather than tease you about it, he finds it hot and has a hard time controlling himself.

His cock is nestled deep inside you, still stretching your walls and despite your previous orgasm, your thirst is not fully quenched.

"Fuck." you moan into the sheets.

"You're so fucking hot. I might bust my nut." The idea of him doing it, filling you up feels so forbidden and dirty. The feeling that it brings is unexplainable.

He feels you clenching around him, arousal coating his entire cock and it makes him wonder. "Fuck, does that idea excite you?"

You're even dirtier than he thought. You never fail to amaze him.

He knows he can't expect any sort of response from you, your body calling to him and he decides to listen to it, delivering you the pleasure he promised he would. So with one swift movement, he pulls out enough for the head of his cock to stay inside you as he thrusts back inside. You can't speak, no words escaping you to tell him how fucking good that feels but he knows it. He sees how your body reacts, he feels it.

He groans, tilting his head back as he starts snapping his hips into yours, fucking you just like he promised. His lower abdomen hits your ass cheeks as the sounds of your skin meeting fill up the air. It's nothing you've ever imagined or dreamed of. This is way better. Breaths coming out as moans, you swallow hard when you catch yourself almost salivating at the sensation and friction.

There are no words exchanged, both of you barely able to speak as keeps his pace and hits all the right spots. You feel him almost in your stomach, the dominance of his thrusts bringing you pain and pleasure.

You're close to losing it. You nearly do but then Jungkook halts all his thrusts, pulling out before he puts you onto your back.

He has never seen you so fucked out already. But your eyes are on him, surprised at the sudden change but the lust filled in them is unmistakable. He's glad he left the lights turned on, or else he wouldn't be able to admire what a pretty sight you are.

The same thing goes for you. Jungkook is driven by the lust, his entire face glowing as he traces his tattooed hand over your chest. Taking you by your thighs, he pulls you closer to him – fast and harshly – spreading your legs as he aligns with your opening again.

You both stare at each other, Jungkook dropping his eyes between your bodies for a second before he pushes in. His eyes stay on you, your own fighting to close as the same and most addicting pleasure rushes through your entire body. But you force and keep them open, both of you moaning as he fills you up. The angle is different this time, his cock pressing onto the opposite side of you and you swear if you pressed on your stomach, you would be able to feel him.

However, you don't dare to move. You're too scared to cum again and you're not sure for how long you can go before your body shuts down.

He grips you by the back of your thighs, keeping his hands there as he starts fucking you again. He watches you with dark and lust filled eyes, biting onto his lower lip harshly when you grip the sheets beside you, turning your knuckles white. With each thrust he makes, your breasts bounce, his eyes shifting between them and your own eyes before he averts his gaze to your bodies meeting.

He's watching the way he disappears inside you, his entire cock glistening with your wetness as it drips down your ass and his balls while your clit is swollen and nipples perked up. Holy fuck.

"You like it?" he asks, finding his voice that comes out way raspier than you both expect. "You like feeling my cock like this, huh?"

"Mhm, yes, fuck." you moan, shutting your eyes in pleasure as your mouth stays open.

You're left gasping, no other words leaving your mouth when he pulls out, just to press your thighs together and angling your legs to the left, as they stay pressed against the mattress before he enters you. The change of the new position makes you see stars, your teeth biting into your lower lip harshly as he's rougher this time. He's hovering over you, hands beside your body as your body shakes with pleasure.

It's safe to say you're in a complete another world right now. The amount of pleasure you're experiencing right now – you've never had that before and it feels so fucking good that it has your eyes water. You can't even make out what you're saying, every word coming out as a moan or gasp instead. But you're not loud. You're not screaming your lungs out, informing all the neighbors about your doings even though Jungkook could care less about that.

Instead, the sounds you make are soft and almost innocent like, it makes Jungkook go feral because you're anything but innocent in this moment. You're so fucked out, completely swallowed by the lust and approaching orgasm. You feel like a fucking trophy. Any guy having a woman in their bed acting like this would feel like the king of the world.

He grips the side of your face, your eyes slowly opening as you share a look. You get even tighter, Jungkook's hips halting for a second before he continues the same pace. Hand lowering to your neck, you grip his wrist and prompt him to wrap his hand around it. That's exactly what he did. You can't remember when was the last time he had his hand around your neck, the memories of it are almost faded as he gently applies pressure.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He's careful, you know he is and he never squeezes your neck to the point you would have trouble breathing. Yet his hand feels heavy and it has your eyes rolling back. I'm close, you want to say but fail miserably.

Despite Jungkook's roughness, he's still delicate in other matters because he knows. He's watching you the entire time, listening to your body and your orgasm approaching doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Cum around my cock, baby." And that's all you need for you to let go, not even five seconds after he says it that your whole body tenses before the knot snaps inside you.

He hisses, feeling you clenching around him uncontrollably as he keeps his pace until he's forced to slow down and eventually stops once he sees you overstimulated. Pulling out, his cock slaps against his stomach, red and angry.

You open your eyes, finding Jungkook watching you as you give him a lazy smile. "I'm in heaven."

A rumble of laughter leaves his mouth, leaving you giggling as well as he brushes a few strands of your hair off your face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking great," you hum, catching the cocky and pleased smirk he gives you. "Give me a minute."

He leans on his knees, trying to ignore his cock screaming for attention as your eyes shamelessly stare at it. "You sure?"

"You wanted to ruin me, no?" you joke, Jungkook's lips twitching as he cocks his head to the side.

"Aren't you ruined?"

To be honest, what state you're in is not what he had in mind. There is still more he's got prepared for you, but he wouldn't want to push you past your boundaries. You already look like you're fucked out, but considering you're cracking a grin and talking to him seems like you're doing fine, still high from the mindblowing orgasm.

"'m fine. You can ruin me some more." you grin again lazily, making your legs more comfortable as you stretch them right in front of him. In your defense, it's not about flashing him but not wanting to have a cramp from the position he had you in.

But you still enjoy the way his eyes avert down between your swollen cunt, a cum mixed with your arousal dripping out of your hole. He makes you feel sexy. Especially when he looks up, meeting your gaze as you give him a sheepish smile, not embarrassed by what he sees. Because it's all thanks to him.

"Come here." you tell him, motioning with your finger to come closer as he arches a brow.

He hovers over you, silently watching as you wrap your hand around his neck while the other brushes over his chest. And then you say with the silent and most delicate voice; "Kiss me."

"You want to kiss?" he amusingly asks, pecking your lips even though a peck wasn't what you had in mind and he knows it. Teasing sh–

But he kisses you again, this time his tongue brushing against yours as he fully devours your mouth. "Have to get into the mood." you inform him between the kisses, using the moment for you to catch a breath.

"Mhm, you're no longer in the mood?" he hums against your lips as you giggle.

His hard cock brushes against your entrance and you have to control yourself from whimpering. You're all hot again, definitely not done for tonight but you're still very sensitive.

Jungkook's breath fans over your jaw, teeth nibbling onto your jaw as he says in a low tone. "We can arrange that."

Just when you think he's about to kiss you, he shoots you a smirk as he inches down, eyes still locked with yours. It's until he focuses on the swollen mess between your thighs and gives a gentle kiss to your clit. You gasp, flinching from the sensation as he looks up from between your legs to check your reaction.

"Think you can take it?"

Can you? 

You're not sure what possesses you, you know you're still sensitive down there and need a little bit of time to recover but you nod, spreading your legs even more, inviting him to continue. And god, he does. He has no mercy on you, attaching his mouth onto your cunt as he starts eating you out.

He grabs you by your thighs, mumbling a deep; "Stop running."

Not even a minute later, the complete lust comes back and there's no trace of overstimulation as you grind against his mouth that's been doing wonders. Your hands are uncontrollable, gripping and tugging onto Jungkook's hair as he growls into your center, listening to your pleas.

"I can't. I can't. I need you inside me." you plead between your moans, two orgasms already overcame which can't be said about Jungkook, who has put your pleasure first.

That's not fair, you think. Besides, you want him inside you again.

Jungkook pulls out with his chin completely drenched in your wetness, the sight making you gulp. He wipes it with the back of his hand, smearing some of it onto the sheets as he straightens up, pumping his cock slowly with his eyes set on you.

You rest onto your elbows, lifting yourself while you watch him jerking himself off. You just can't seem to pull your eyes away.

"Are you gonna spread yourself out for me or you just want to watch?" he smirks.

Ignoring his cocky attitude, you can't even react as you gulp down the saliva that gathered in your mouth. You sit up, shifting your eyes to his gaze as you turn around and get back on all fours.

"Fuck," You hear behind you. "You're the death of me."

Proudly smirking, you throw him a pleased and cocky look across your shoulder. "You love staring at my backside that much?" you tease.

Both of you know it's you who loves this position. Both of you do actually, but this time it's you who does it automatically.

One of the rare times you get to tease him and actually feel like you're doing a good job, is when Jungkook shamelessly shows his admiration or whatever it is. He's not ashamed to compliment you or show how much he loves fucking you. But it's this never ending game between you two, one you always lose because Jungkook is one step ahead of you. Whenever you feel like you've won, he does a checkmate.

Just like now.

He slaps your asscheek, chest brushing against your back as he hovers over your ear and says with the lustful voice full of desire. "Shame I can't see your pretty face though."

Your body grows hot at that, cheeks flaming hot at the blunt compliment that makes you clench around nothing. This is the time where you've no idea whether he says this kind of stuff to make you all hot, to fluster you or because he really means it. Whatever he's doing, it's working and you're practically willing to do anything for him at this moment.

You haven't had many sex partners in your life to begin with, but none of them had such a dirty mouth and power to say such things to you. Damn, some time ago you never even knew this was your kind of thing. Jungkook has taught you so much, but most importantly you learned much about yourself thanks to him. Maybe he's not even realizing it but you are.

There's no beating around the bush, no more talking as Jungkook guides his hard cock to your opening and slowly enters you again. He lets out a pleased sigh, followed by a silent moan from you as your walls welcome him again. The sensation feels like the first time all over again. Someone would think you got used to it, this being the second time Jungkook enters you with no protection and barrier between you, but no. You can't get used to it, meaning it feels just as amazing when he entered you like this the first time.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place, he gives your asscheek a rough squeeze as he moves his other hand up and grabs you by the back of your neck. He gives you no warning this time, though maintains his gentle manner when he starts thrusting into you. You writhe beneath him in pleasure, moaning his name and pleas as he picks up the pace and makes your body grow even hotter.

Beads of sweat coats your skin, your mouth open in an absolute pleasure and desire. He keeps holding you down, getting needier and rougher with his thrusts while you can't even think straight. When you thought your eyes were watering before, it's even more intense now as your tears start pricking your eyes. He lets go off your neck, delivering your ass a proper slap and you lift yourself up, gripping the sheets beneath you as tears stream down your cheeks.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." you cry out. You've never heard yourself to be this desperate before. Let alone for a man. Sex does wonders. Jungkook does wonders.

"Fuck, look at me." he says, ushering to meet his gaze as you barely angle your face to look at him.

He leans what seems like toward you but you're mistaken when shortly after, you hear a familiar buzzing and before your fucked out mind can comprehend what he's doing, he's pressing the sex toy against your clit. A new wave and uncontrollable pleasure washes over you, leaving you sobbing loudly while Jungkook curses behind you. His eyes are shut, head leaned back as you get a clear sight of a line of sweat trailing down his neck and chest. He opens those dark lust filled eyes, your eyes meeting again and that's the final end for you.

He has officially ruined you. 

You've never cum harder, your body on fire and trembling as your walls squeeze him repeatedly as you squirt all over yourself. Jungkook audibly curses again, growling when your orgasm dies down and you have barely any strength to hold yourself up. It all happens quickly as he pulls out of you, gets you on your back as you stare at him through teary and exhausted eyes. He jerks off quickly, throwing his head back and cums with the deepest moan, spilling all over your stomach and chest.

Both of you sweaty and chests heaving rapidly, Jungkook hangs his head low as he looks at you through his fringe falling onto his eyes, some of the strands sticking to his forehead and face.

It's hard to describe exactly what you're feeling. Your heartbeat is in your ears, your chest hurts from how you're trying to catch a breath and amongst this all, you feel like you're ten seconds from passing out.

Even through his harsh breathing and his own need to calm down, he gets closer to you and cups your face. "Are you with me, baby?"

Baby? What's he thinking? He has already ruined you, there's no need for more.

You give him a brief nod, your eyes closing.

"Shit."

Why does he sound so alarmed? 

"Look at me baby."

You do. You're aware of what he's saying, you're not literally passing out but your body needs a minute or two to recover. You just can't seem to properly react.

You're met with concerned eyes as Jungkook squeezes your cheeks to get a proper look at you. You lick your lips, letting out a tired and amused chuckle. "Thought you killed me? You're not gonna get rid of me so easily." you say completely exhausted, sounding like you could be high or wasted.

He only stares, a beat of silence before his whole face and body relaxes as he lets out a sigh and chuckle of relief. Still, he lets his eyes linger all over your face as he watches you. You crack a smile, wiping your forehead with the back of your head as he brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead.

"You squirted all over me." he teases lightly.

"You came all over my stomach. We're even." you joke, getting a warmed sound laugh from him.

"You cried." he comments, wiping your cheeks. "It was hot."

"You ruined me." you comment back with a tired chuckle.

"You wanted to get ruined."

"Hm, I did." you hum.

He cracks a smile. "I'll bring you water, alright? I'll be right back and wipe the mess off you."

"Mhm." You close your eyes again, feeling like you can breathe again as Jungkook rushes out of the room to get you the water.

He comes back not even a minute after with a glass and a towel, ushering to sit down and drink the whole glass. You do as he watches you every second, barely blinking. Rolling your eyes, he does the same before he starts wiping his cum from your stomach and chest. He moves to between your thighs shortly after, cursing under his breath when he sees how swollen you are. You start wincing as soon as he starts.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he apologizes quickly, wincing as if it hurt him too when the overstimulation is too uncomfortable.

He goes away to toss the towel to the laundry basket and comes back shortly after wearing shorts, finding you sitting on the edge of his bed. It makes him laugh at how innocent you look, despite you're still completely naked.

"I'm going to shower." you announce before he gives you a dubious look.

"Will you manage by yourself?"

"Yeah." you tell him, standing up too abruptly which makes you stumble.

He quickly moves to catch you, biting back a laugh when you're about to take a step and wince. You shoot him a glare, silently telling him it's his fault. The soreness you currently feel between your legs is making it hard to walk. You're so sore already, wondering how the hell you're going to walk and function properly tomorrow.

Jungkook lets you go, leaving you to wash yourself as you embarrassingly limp to the bathroom. When you're in the shower, palms against the warm and wet tiles, you replay everything that has happened. You can't believe you and Jungkook did this. You bite your lips to prevent yourself from squealing, washing away all the sweat and body fluids off your body.

In the midst of it, Jungkook knocks on the door and brings you clothes, leaving after he checks on you.

After Jungkook's turn to wash himself, he joins you in the bed where you're dozing off. "So, what are you sayin'? Did you like it?"

"Honestly?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip as Jungkook hums. You chuckle at yourself as you admit; "It's gonna be hard to use condoms again."

Why the hell did you just say that? You mentally scold yourself. Now you sound like you don't want protected sex. Perhaps you're overreacting because Jungkook never sounds like you assume things will be different. You both know it's responsible for you to use them again. It was never spoken but it's clear this was one time thing.

"And how are you feeling?"

"So fucking sore," you complain, whining. "I won't be able to move in tomorrow! This has been your plan all along, right? Admit it." you joke, making him laugh.

"You got me."

You both laugh, tiredly and lazily until your laugh dies down. "Kook?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think, um... how to say it?"

"Just say it."

Argh! This thought crossed your mind while you were showering. You feel content. You're not exactly paranoid and surprisingly, you're not freaking out over having sex without a condom. You're happy and you wouldn't change your decision. You regret nothing.

Fumbling with your fingers on top of the freshly changed sheets, you bite the inside of your cheek.

"Do you think maybe I should buy a morning after pill? Just in case..."

Jungkook stays silent but gives his answer seconds after. "If it makes you feel better," he says lightly.

You're on birth control, you haven't missed your pills and you have no knowledge if you can still take a morning after pill. Groaning, you reach for your phone and start doing your research in the middle of the night.

"Okay. It says here there's no need since I'm on the pill." you inform, not even sure if Jungkook is awake before he hums tiredly in return. You roll your eyes at him. "Yah!" you whisper harshly.

"Relax. I didn't even cum inside you."

"Okay but there's always a chance!" you exclaim as Jungkook sighs.

"That would have to be a fucking luck, that's all I'm saying." he mutters into his pillow, turning with his back to you. Men.

He had luck in that department, you think. He was surely having sex with her more often, unprotected for sure and you're also sure he finished inside her most of the time. Argh, why the fuck are you thinking about this and their sex life?

Groaning at yourself, you lock your phone and place it back onto the nightstand. It's better to finally surrender to exhaustion, hoping you'll at least get a good sleep despite the throb and soreness between your legs. Everything's going to be just fine.

"Oh shit! This place is actually nice!"

Looking at Taehyung in a silent offense, you snort at his huge grin as he looks around your new place. Boxes are everywhere and most of your things don't have their own place, but it looks pretty good either way – especially if Taehyung says it with an impressed look while Jimin joins him.

"I know, right? Come on guys, I will show you around."

"Where's Jungkook?" Jimin asks as Taehyung snaps his head in his direction.

"In the bedroom, assembling my bed again." you laugh, feeling actually bad for him to do that again since it's not that long when he did it at his own place.

Taehyung laughs, though it sounds forced which makes you narrow your eyes at him as you silently question him. "Why are you so awkward?"

"Come on, let's go." Jimin says, placing his hand on your back as he leads you further down the apartment.

You glance confusingly at them before shaking your head. What's wrong with them? They meet Jungkook after you give them a quick tour and shortly after, they help you unpack some of your stuff. Taehyung and Jimin stay in the living room while you keep hopping between them and Jungkook who is soon done with your bed. You order three pizzas for all of you, a nice gesture as a 'thank you' that they decided to help you because you couldn't do it without them. They're a huge help.

Although, Jimin is surprisingly quiet and when you went to check on them earlier, you found him and Taehyung bickering. If that's what it was but they quickly went silent once they spotted you.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed it but he hasn't said anything so far, quietly munching on the pizza with pouty lips and big eyes. You steal glances at Jimin who barely says anything and Taehyung is surprisingly quiet too, even though he tries to break the silence with awkward small talk or jokes which aren't like him.

"What's with you?" you ask, interrupting Taehyung in the midst of his 'casual joking' as he shuts his mouth and puts it into a straight line before he sighs.

The empty boxes of pizzas are gone, ready to be thrown out once there will be more boxes to take outside. You bought beer for all of you as well, wanting to have a mini-party with them at your new place.

Jimin's eyes don't look too different and his face doesn't say much which makes you question his unusual behavior. You're clearly missing out something and even Jungkook studies Jimin with scrunched brows.

"You're being suspiciously quiet today." you voice out your thoughts, seeing Jimin giving you a look – one that confirms your assumptions.

"You guys are quiet today too." he points out and you make a weird face because he doesn't make any sense.

"We've been literally talking almost every minute." you chuckle, giving him a weird look.

"Yet you never mentioned you guys are hooking up again." he bluntly calls you and Jungkook out, noticing the edge in his voice as you feel your stomach drop. For a second, you're assured you've heard him wrong and you must be hallucinating.

You awkwardly choke on your spit, glancing at Jungkook who's simply staring at Jimin but you see surprise in his eyes too, though his reaction is more subtle and controlled which can't be said about you. Jimin leans against the couch, lifting a brow at the both of you as you look at Taehyung whose face is burning with guilt. And you don't need any more answers because you give Taehyung an unimpressed look.

"It happened! I'm sorry guys!" he quickly exclaims, shooting his arms all over the place. "I got drunk and somehow–"

"Somehow you managed to tell him about this." you deadpan and Jimin sighs next to Taehyung.

"Don't get angry at him," Jimin says calmly, "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

You press your lips together, feeling bad for not telling him sooner but in fact, there weren't many opportunities. You didn't want to tell him such a private matter like "Oh, and by the way me and Jungkook are hooking up" – not that he has to know in the first place. But being friends with them for years now, you learned that you guys tell each other many things.

"We wanted to." Jungkook butts in, saving you from having to explain yourself through guilt. He sounds casual – not making it a big deal and you appreciate that. Jungkook has always been better at these things. You let your emotions get the best of you.

"And to be fair, Taehyung only knows by an accident." he adds, pointing out some important facts as Taehyung snorts.

"Yeah, found them in the kitchen with Jungkook's hands all over Y/N's ass." he snorts again and you shoot him a glare while Jimin scrunches his nose.

"I waited the whole day for you guys to tell me," Jimin says, "It's not like I'm mad at you for not telling me. But do you guys think it's a good idea?"

"Huh?" you blurt out as Jimin scowls.

"You are seriously hooking up?"

"Isn't that what we are talking about?" Jungkook mutters while Jimin shoots him a glare.

"You guys are gonna ruin your friendship." Jimin informs. Your mouth hangs open while Jungkook scoffs at Jimin's sharp words while Taehyung gives Jimin an offended look as if those words were aimed at him.

"Jimin–"

"No, they need to hear this. You've been best friends for years, the thing you did before was fucking stupid but this? You're choosing to just sleep with each other? You're seriously willing to risk your friendship for sex?"

Jimin words are sharp but they hold a truth to them as well. It's everything you're afraid of too but you convinced yourself this is just a period of time where you have fun. You and Jungkook made sure it's pretty chill and casual. And just like with your friendship, not many people fully understand you.

Jimin isn't particularly rude or sounds angry, he's just blunt and serious which is enough of a shock to you. He's always been soft spoken, even if honest, and you know he means well. Despite his words, his eyes remain somehow gentle even if there's a pinch of seriousness.

And you're left with no words leaving your mouth, taken aback, wishing that you could react somehow. But right now, it feels like a slap to your face from Jimin.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Jimin-ah." Jungkook says, stealing a glance at your distraught face.

"Of course it's not. But you two are being reckless, so I'm just reminding you."

"So they fuck, and what?" Taehyung deadpans, "Let them have their fun."

"Taehyung-ah, excuse me but the only thing you know about relationships is fun. That is if that even can be considered as something related to a relationship."

"Yah, fuck you!" Taehyung exclaims and you would snicker at that under different circumstances for sure. "You suddenly got a girlfriend and you think you're a master of relationships? Just let them be. It's their decision and stop scaring them."

"I'm not scaring them," Jimin shakes his head with a chuckle before he looks up at you, his features softening as his eyes keep jumping between you and Jungkook. "Guys, I just think you need to hear this. And to be honest, I'm shocked to know you've been doing this for god knows how long. I thought you're smarter than that but you're fucking risking and that's the end of it."

"We have it under control." Jungkook informs him.

"Yeah, don't let those words bite you in the ass later." Jimin reminds him with a whistle which makes Jungkook frown and you stare at the two of them.

"Can we stop?" you speak up, slapping your knees in the process as you gain their attention.

"Y/N," Jimin says softly, inching closer to you as you stare at him with big and sad eyes. "You guys are totally entitled to do whatever you want. I just don't want you guys to ruin your friendship with this. I've thought your friendship is precious and special, not this special."

Your cheeks heat up. "And it is special." you whisper.

It's clear that Jimin doesn't approve any of this and you're aware that he is right. There are many risks you took – both of you – but in the end, you want to do this and you don't want to overthink it.

"You and Jungkook know the best, so I'm not gonna butt into this any more than I already have. I just want you guys to be reasonable and smart."

"Well, thank you for your input but we got it." Jungkook clasps his hands together and you crack a grin as the atmosphere loosens up a little.

"Yeah, they got it. Let them fuck." Taehyung shrugs and all of you burst into laughter.

"Can we not talk about this? Or make a big deal out of it? Me and Jungkook are fine, still best friends, right?" you say, looking at Jungkook who leans back and nods in your direction.

"Yeah, besties for life." He sends everyone a 'peace' sign as Jimin laughs while shaking his head.

"Right," Jimin nods, "Just don't hurt each other, okay?"

"I would never." Jungkook says immediately and you can only agree.

Jimin opens his mouth as if he's about to say something but then he closes it, changing his mind at the last minute. "Alright, you guys know what you're doing." he ends the topic with a simple sentence and all of you leave it at that.

"Okay, those two fuck each other, shocking. But we still haven't met your girlfriend. What is even her name? Does she exist?" Taehyung cocks his brow at Jimin who suddenly turns a little shy, grinning as he licks his bottom lip.

"She exists," he laughs, "Her name is Rin." he answers casually.

"Wait? Where is she from?"

"Japan."

"Oh my fucking god!" Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Let's pray she is nothing like Kiko then."

Your hand is over your mouth immediately while Jungkook frowns at him and Jimin looks offended.

"How did you meet her anyway?" But Taehyung remains unbothered as always, waving his hand as Jimin clears his throat.

"In a club?" Jimin asks as if it's not obvious. "We weren't spending our free time on other places too much." He reminds him as Taehyung utters 'True'.

"Wait," Taehyung suddenly stops. "Is she the girl you fucked a few months ago? The cute Japanese?"

Jimin's face reddens and all of you get an answer as Jungkook smirks, trying to hide it by tracing his fingers over his lips.

"Taehyung-ah."

"Look at you, getting all shy. I think I'm gonna be sick."

All of you burst into laughter, well excluding Jimin who pokes his elbow into Taehyung's side.

"Well, I think it's cute." you butt in, trying to save Jimin in this situation but all you get is a snicker from Taehyung in return.

"What's cute about it? He fucked the girl once and now he's dating her."

"Hey! You find love in all places."

"Yeah, yeah," he waves you off. "I heard Japanese females are loud and whiny in bed. Is that true?" he asks straight-forwardly and shamelessly stares at Jimin and Jungkook.

"Haven't you fucked a Japanese woman?" Jungkook asks instead, arching his brow as Taehyung rubs his chin in a deep thought.

"Yeah, I might've. The one or two I fucked were, so that's why I'm asking. Are all of them like that?"

The man has no shame.

"Taehyung." you mutter his name, scrunching your nose at the topic as he defensively looks at you.

"What? Are you whiny and loud too?"

You gasp, slapping his shoulder before Jungkook speaks up; "She can be."

It's the fact he says it with the utmost confidence and pride, your entire face feeling like it's on fire as you scold him loudly.

"Ew, I really don't want to hear about my two friends fucking. Thanks." Jimin mutters in disgust as Taehyung grins.

"You all are getting too soft." Taehyung comments, still with a grin as you roll your eyes.

"And you're getting too annoying, nosy–"

"Alright I get it, I get it." Taehyung shuts you up with his palm over your mouth. You lick his skin, expecting him to pull away but it's like he awaited you to do it because he doesn't pull away.

He grins instead and says; "Mhmm, more." He fakes a moan before he starts laughing like a maniac when you start slapping his arm, his hand eventually letting go off your mouth.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Taehyung suddenly jumps to his feet, giving you a curled smirk before he walks to his bag. "I brought you, uh, think of this as a housewarming gift."

"I didn't know we were bringing anything." Jimin mutters, pouting a little as he sheepishly scratches the back of his head while Jungkook frowns as well.

"You guys don't have to–what the fuck?!" you exclaim, your mouth hanging open as Taehyung turns around with a pair of pink and fluffy handcuffs, twirling them on his index finger.

It's an understatement that all of you stare at him as he comes up to you with a smirk and tosses the handcuffs into your lap as you stare at the object as if you have never seen it before. You never held one in your hands, that's for sure.

"Don't worry, they're new. Not used." Taehyung assures you, plopping on his previous spot as you glance at Jungkook who stares with big eyes at the handcuffs, just as surprised as all of you, before he relaxes and leans back into the chair.

"Wow, thank you for your thoughtfulness." you mutter dryly as Taehyung snorts.

You tuck your index over the opening, letting the handcuffs hang in the air as you inspect it. Tilting your brow at Taehyung, you give him a questioning look as he grins and shrugs.

"Just wanted to give you something fun."

"Yeah, and what's more fun than a pair of handcuffs?" you beam sarcastically as Taehyung grins even more.

"Right? A proper Taehyung gift!"

"I've got no words." Jimin mutters while you place the handcuffs next to you as Jungkook suddenly reaches for them.

Staring with an open mouth, you watch him twirl it in his hands as he shoots you a grin. "Thanks Taehyung, they'll come handy."

You ignore how much your body buzzes with a newfound excitement, rather focusing on the noise Jimin makes. A noise of disgust and annoyance as his whole face scrunches in one.

Deciding it's better to redirect the attention to somewhere else, you stand up and usher them to help you with the remaining boxes as they grunt but obey. That's why they're here after all. To help you.

Jimin and Taehyung start bickering, Jimin scolding him for even thinking of buying you such a thing and considering you know what he thinks of your arrangement with Jungkook, he surely voiced his opinion about it to Taehyung too.

Jungkook is the only one who's still sitting on his previous spot, now that the guys went to your bedroom it leaves you two alone. You catch the handcuffs from Jungkook's hands, trying not to melt at how lustful he looks with his legs spread and lap looking inviting.

"I will take this." you tell him, sounding tempted and teasing as Jungkook watches you with the biggest smirk on his lips.

"Be my guest."

You hear behind you as Jungkook follows you in your tracks and you give yourself a few deep breaths before you have to face your friends, and most importantly Jungkook, again.

Your friends leave late at night, apart from Jungkook who kindly decides to help you organize your small kitchen. Of course, Taehyung couldn't help but tease you on his way out, not forgetting to yell "Have fun" as Jimin cringed and tugged him out of your place. He didn't forget to imply Jungkook is staying at your place tonight either.

Despite your friend's teasing, he's still planning to go back home.

"You know, don't listen to Taehyung. You can still stay the night, it's late anyway." you speak not even a minute after they're gone, putting the cutlery to its designed storage box in your top cupboard.

It's not that big of a problem for him to get home. His car is parked in front of your building and the drive to his home is not even that long. On another note, you've been organizing and moving furniture all day until you decide to have a little hang-outs in between, which mostly consisted of you pouring the guys drinks and eating some snacks. It's a simple idea, one you're not against and from the looks of it, Jungkook is not either.

He still decided to stay a bit longer, helping you with your kitchen so you can start using it tomorrow morning with no problem. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."

The teasing tone of his voice makes you crack a tired chuckle, giving him a short glance before you get back to your task.

"It's impossible to get rid of you, Jeon Jungkook." you joke, "I kinda like having you in my life though."

"Is that so?" he hums, cocking his brow teasingly.

"Mhm." you laugh, shutting the cupboard as you move onto the next one below where the rest of the kitchen tools will be.

He finishes placing plates in one of the cupboards, moving onto mugs and glasses where you assigned their place.

"Listen," he starts, clearing his throat. "About what Jimin said... are you okay?"

Besides moving into your new place being the top event of today, Jimin finding out and then giving you a lecture was big enough of an event itself. It's not something that is easily forgotten and even after that conversation was over, it still lingered at the back of your mind as you mildly felt embarrassed. You've never had that. You never felt embarrassed to do your own thing with Jungkook, no matter what anyone else would say.

Taehyung is the most supportive friend when it comes to this. Perhaps it has something to do with his own choice of lifestyle, but it doesn't matter. He still gets it. Sure, Jimin never intended to make you feel embarrassed and he's pretty much clueless about your inner feelings his words brought in you. His words still made more damage than you want to admit.

Glancing at Jungkook, you find his concerned eyes on you, the same ones you were staring at yesterday when you had a memorable moment together.

"It's just... he was a little harsh with his words and I wanted to check on you."

You know what he means. It's exactly what you were thinking about just a moment ago. Jimin is a reasonable friend. Incredibly caring too. Whereas Taehyung is up for any fun and loves freedom, supports freedom. Both of them are right in their own ways, you don't deny that.

"That was expected of him," you give him a forced chuckle, one that Jungkook easily detects and makes his brows furrow. But it's not something to worry about and you make sure to let him know. "I get what his point was."

"Yeah, I think we all gathered that." Jungkook mutters, making you snort.

"But what about you? Are you okay?"

"I can handle Jimin anytime." he answers, grinning while he makes you laugh.

Jungkook handles most things better than you. He's far more collected and doesn't let too much stuff get to him. Even though Jimin rooted some sort of doubts inside your head, you and Jungkook know the best how things truly are between you.

"Are you staying the night?" you ask, changing the topic after coming to the conclusion that you have no interest in overthinking this any longer.

Jungkook brings you peace and the trust between you is stronger than anything else.

"Do you want me to?" he teases.

Groaning, you throw your head back. "You really want me to say it, huh?"

"Hm, maybe."

Rolling your eyes at him, you purse your lips. "You're free to stay here. It's late anyway."

Jungkook lips twitch in amusement, though he doesn't comment on you purposely not saying it. "Fine. But I gotta wake up early."

"Early for what?"

"Gym."

"Oh my god. For real?" He really wants to wake up early for a gym?

He doesn't look offended by your lack of excitement for his healthy and active life-style at all. Rather than that, he finds it funny.

"Yeah. And then I've got one afternoon photoshoot to do."

"Okay, then we should go to bed. I can finish this tomorrow." you tell him, shutting the cupboards. He doesn't protest, both of you simultaneously letting out a yawn which makes you both laugh again.

It's been a long day and after taking a shower with Jungkook joining you in your bed shortly after, you fall asleep in a matter of seconds. You don't tell him but you're truly thankful for not only his help but his presence too. Whatever the reason behind him staying is, you're glad you're not your first night here alone and you have him by your side. Even when he's not there when you wake up, leaving you a note beside your bed.

"Gonna miss you roomie. Enjoy your new place and see you soon. – Kook"

The next time you see your friends is a few days after you've moved into your new place. The constant back and forth between trying to plan the camping trip in the group chat has caused you enough headaches throughout the week. It's not only up to you, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, but also their other friends that are coming too. No one expected for this to be easy but finding the right date, so everyone could go, has been the toughest task of the week.

Luckily, in the end everyone agreed on a date which happens to be the next weekend. You've had enough time to make your place fully liveable, decorated it to your wishes while your bank account is close to being empty. That's if you don't count the small savings you managed to not touch for your friend's vacation that is yet to be discussed. You're already scared.

The four of you are about to discuss further details that don't involve the rest of the group as much. It would be logical of you to go all together in one car – and that's how you thought it would be.

"Namjoon and Hoseok are bringing tents. And there's gonna be two rented caravans for some to sleep in. So I agree with Y/N, we should all go in one car. It saves money." Jimin says after your logical suggestion, which you didn't even think is up to debate because it just makes sense.

"Makes sense. Honestly, I don't care as long as I don't have to drive." Taehyung says, already munching on the chips which Jungkook has tossed him a second ago, because the guy was too lazy to get it for himself at his own place.

You've decided to meet up at Taehyung's place since it was the closest. All of you have to go to work tomorrow, so there's no time to hang out like you usually do. You only met up to figure out the entire trip, so you don't panic right before you have to leave. Plus, Taehyung is terrible at replying to messages and so is Jimin sometimes.

"About that," Jungkook starts, scratching the back of his head as he earns everyone's attention. "I sort of invited Ester too."

He did what? 

The silence that follows seems like it lasts cruelly long, but it's only you because even though the guys seem surprised by the news, they show no problem with that. Though that can't be said about you because you're staring dumbfoundedly at Jungkook, wondering if you heard him right.

"Great!"

"Why did you do that?"

You and Jimin say at the same time, Taehyung slowly putting more chips into his mouth as he stares at the three of you. Jungkook frowns confusingly, shrugging his shoulders as if not understanding why are you questioning him which makes your annoyance bubble even more.

"It sort of came out."

Sort of... You can't with this guy. The little scoff you let out is enough to give him away your thoughts.

"Isn't that so random though? It's a friend's trip. No one knows her besides you."

Not that you have anything against Ester. She's a nice girl and she never gave you a reason not to like her, but Jungkook's random invitation to a trip full of friends is just totally out of the blue and doesn't make sense. Even guys seemed surprised by it, but they decided not to comment on it.

"Then they'll get to know her."

It's Jungkook's bluntness and the look he's giving you that pisses you off and you have to hold yourself from springing off the couch.

"I don't see any problem–"

You don't let Jimin finish, completely ignoring him. "You've known her for five minutes."

That makes Jungkook's brow lift up. "And?"

"Why would you invite someone on this trip?" you exclaim, trying to grasp the meaning of this.

The last camping trip was your first one with all of them. And you've been friends with him, Jimin and Taehyung for years. Obviously, you were familiar with Hoseok and Jin but still, you knew each other before you were invited. The exact thing happened on New Year's Eve.

It might not be a big deal of him inviting her, but it doesn't make sense considering it's last minute and you're leaving in a few days. The amount of tents and caravans are already taken care of.

"I invited you."

That makes you gasp, "I'm your best friend!"

"Guys–" Jimin tries again but Jungkook shrugs again.

"She's my friend too."

Okay, that makes your blood boil. Is he really comparing you and Ester? You've no idea how this even escalated to this but you can't seem to calm down, even as Jimin tries to butt in while Taehyung tries to hide an amused grin.

"Where is she going to sleep anyway?" Taehyung speaks up, earning a "Thank you Taehyung" glance but of course the idiot has to ruin it. "I mean, she could share the tent with me." he adds cheekily which makes Jungkook scoff while you scrunch your nose in disgust.

"I will sort that out. I can always ask Namjoon if he has another tent, I'm sure he mentioned he has more than two or he can ask someone. You girls can share the tent."

You haven't really spoken about who shares a tent with who, but you kind of expected it to be like last time. Maya is also coming so she's going to share the tent with Namjoon, obviously. Then there's Jin who is going without Jia since she's pregnant and doesn't want to join this time, so he would share either the tent or caravan with Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung shared the tent together and so did you and Jungkook.

Not to get things mixed up, you don't really care who you're sharing the sleeping space with. But the fact he's expecting you to share it with Ester because he decided to invite her all of a sudden just calls for a conflict. It's the audacity he's showing that makes you open your mouth in pure disbelief as you stare at Jungkook with a proper what the fuck written on yur face.

Also, not even Jimin decided to invite his girlfriend. His freaking girlfriend that would make a bigger sense to come since she's actually close to someone out of all people.

He sighs, "It came up. She wanted to make plans with me on that very weekend, we talked about it and it just came up."

"So you felt bad for her, so you invited her?" you question, arching your brow as Jungkook frowns.

"No," he says with the same frown, emphasizing the word. "Jimin wanted me to invite her somewhere a long time ago. Guys seem to be okay with it and the only person who seems to have a problem with it is you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh shit." Taehyung mutters, straightening himself.

This whole situation is giving you a major whiplash. You and Jungkook barely argue, that can be seen even on Jimin's and Taehyung's faces as they look genuinely shocked by the exchange between you and Jungkook. You were fine.

You were texting and even Face-Timing a few times since you haven't had the chance to see him in person since you moved in. You were literally joking just minutes ago. And you know you are the one who has voiced your confusion, but you're not going to keep your mouth shut when you're genuinely baffled over this news.

"I don't see any problem here, seriously."

It's the tone he uses that makes you too stunned to speak. He's looking at you as if you were the enemy here and that kind of stings. He's here talking to you like this, looking at you like this for a girl he barely knows and that's when you know what triggers your anger and annoyance even more. You can barely remember times where Jungkook would be strict with you. The past few months have been the greatest months in your friendship, and you're not talking about the sex. You joked, teased each other, laughed... but now it's like you don't recognize you and him.

It's not that serious, just a change of opinions. But at this moment, you can't just keep your mouth shut and move on.

You're jealous. Jealous that he's here ready to argue with you over a girl who's apparently his friend. He makes you feel like you're the idiot here and you don't know, maybe you are but you don't like how he's acting.

"It's last minute, Kook..." Jimin starts, giving you a side-glance. He's looking at you as if you're about to jump and attack Jungkook. "But I'm sure it can be arranged. Girls can share the tent, sorry Tae but I'm not sure Ester would be happy to share it with you. We don't want to traumatize her."

He tries to joke, laughing awkwardly while still giving you the side-glance while your frown turns only deeper. Even Taehyung laughs and tries to fake disappointment from Jimin's words.

"I'm not sharing a tent with her." you stubbornly scoff, Jungkook glaring the hell out of you and you're ten seconds from showing him your middle finger.

"You're being difficult. I don't know what's your problem with her, but she's a nice girl. You met her."

"Share the tent with her then. Since she's your friend." You know you're being childish, you even sound like it and you ignore everyone's eyes on you which makes you uncomfortable.

"I don't know if that's appropriate. Her sharing it with a girl is more appropriate."

You know he's got a point. But still, stubborn as you are, you fold your arms over your chest and give him a sweet smile. "Should've thought about it before you invited her."

"Okaaaay, guys. There's no need to–"

"You're so selfish right now." Jungkook comments and you gasp.

"Kook, seriously." Taehyung mutters but you see red.

"I'm selfish? You invite your friend and I'm selfish because I don't want to share the tent with her? Since when is she my problem? You invited her, you deal with it, Jeon." You're raising your voice, though Jungkook doesn't look phased one bit as he scoffs and looks away, clenching his jaw.

"Fine. I will buy her a fucking tent if that's what it takes." Don't forget to fuck her in it. Wait, where did that come from?

"I thought it's a friend's trip too. I mean, I don't really mind if someone invites a plus one. I get both sides." Taehyung tries to reason.

Jungkook lets out a sigh. "I wasn't planning on inviting her but it happened. I don't see any big deal in this."

Oh my god, you're done.

"Okay, then I'm inviting Yoongi." you say with an attitude, Jungkook's head snapping to yours including Taehyung and Jimin.

You do regret saying it as soon as it leaves your mouth. Why Yoongi out of all people? What did you think? But you don't back away. There's no way you will embarrass yourself even more than you already have.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're being childish." Jungkook scoffs. Yes, you're petty and what?

"What? I thought we are allowed to invite friends."

"He is not even your friend."

"How would you know?" you bite back.

"Oh come on!"

"Alright, calm down you two." Jimin frowns, looking genuinely concerned despite his frown.

"No, I'm starting to like this." Taehyung says with a smirk, looking excited to witness this as you frown at him.

You stand up, straightening your pants as you give a look to all your friends. "Yoongi is coming too."

"You don't even like him. Seriously, this is ridiculous." Jungkook can't help but speak up again.

You don't argue with him on that. Sure, Yoongi gets on your nerves most of the time but you don't not like him.

"Just invite who you want and be done with this." Jimin sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"No, she just did that on purpose!" Jungkook exclaims, causing you to scoff.

"Mind your business, Jeon and better go figure out where your friend is sleeping." you remark.

Deep down you do feel bad because of Ester. She has done nothing wrong to you or to anyone you know. You don't want her to think you don't like her and you do hope whatever happened here won't reach her. God, you really hope Jungkook won't snitch on you. He wouldn't, right? 

"Wait, where are you going? How are we gonna sort out the cars then?" Taehyung calls out to you when you're on your way out.

You linger between the entrance of the living room and entrance hall, shrugging.

"We're gonna have to go with two cars anyway. So much for saving." he adds, grumbling.

"I don't know, I'll just go with Yoongi. Let me know how you arranged it. I'm going, I'm tired."

Taehyung's place starts to feel suffocating and you rush to put your shoes on, bidding them a sore goodbye as you get into your car.

You're a fucking idiot. You smack your head against the headrest, closing your eyes as you rub your forehead furiously instead, not wanting to smudge your make-up.

Great. You cannot show without Yoongi. You argued with Jungkook and let the most stupid idea come out of your mouth because of... because of what exactly? Annoyance? Anger? Jealousy?

All of the above most likely.

But the aftermath of your argument in front of Jimin and Taehyung is not the only thing that causes you another headache.

The thing is...

How the fuck will you convince him to go?

[dreamermonica]

“how much do you love me?”

in which you question the extent of their love out of the blue.

—includes itoshi sae, itoshi rin, michael kaiser, mikage reo, nagi seishiro, isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, barou shouei

—gender neutral reader, isagi is the only normal one AGAIN, trigger warning for kais*r himself, established relationships, fluff, crack, nagi’s got a bit too real for a sec, some swearing, yeah this is reminiscent of my most popular post on genshinblr what abt it😤

SAE surprisingly ponders your question. years of your random questions getting ignored has its effects, and it is definitely the reason you're now staring at him like a madman, ready to catch his response in an instant. oh my, you think your heart isn't ready for this. what could your lovely and handsome boyfriend say that'll effectively swoop you off your fee—

“as much as one would love a rock, i guess.”

you whine as you throw your head back in frustration, sliding off the couch dramatically, earning him a scoff. “so mean! and unromantic too! pick a disability, not multiple!”

“well, you're as dumb as a rock. can't have too much in this world, unfortunately.”

a pout makes its way to your features, before suddenly switching into a suspicious frown when you see a small smile creeping on his face.

wait...you're as dumb as a rock?

“oh...?” your face immediately looks up at him. “and how much do you love this stupid rock exactly...?”

seeing that you finally caught on his antics, a heart-fluttering chuckle escapes his lips, his eyes shut in amusement as your heart beat quickens at the melodious sound.

“a lot—as in more than anything in this world.”

RIN ignores you. acts like you never spoke in the first place. why? hah, his pride's too high for him to even properly answer that. even if he said something that's relatively joking or teasing, it'd be lying in a way, right? so what purpose would it solve in answering your question? exactly. none. so you get no response, whatsoever.

“rin-chan, answer my question, please?”

radio silence.

“rrrrrrrrrin. rinnnnnn. riiiiiiiiiiin. RIN!”

he still continues on walking, gaze still ahead whilst you struggle to waddle along with his wide strides, opting to grab his arms as to not get left behind.

“itoshi rin! just how much do you love m—”

he places his gloved hand flat against your face, shutting you up as he moves you away from his line of sight. his teal stare still bored and unbothered.

“any louder and you'll attract attention. i don't want paparazzi stuck to us for the rest of the day.”

you narrow your eyes at him as he practically drags you along, legs unable to keep up with his pace. “i don't see how that refrains you from answering my question, though.”

“i won't answer a question you already know the answer to, so shut up.”

you blink twice, swearing you just saw his cheeks go a bit red for a quick second. were you seeing things...?

KAISER, the mischief, always has to edge you on for a bit before giving you what you want. (🤨📸) it's how he functions as a partner—never failing to be an infuriating piece of shit who gets on your nerves whenever he gets a chance. what makes you think now would be an exception?

“hmm...” he hums with that annoying curl of his lips once more, feigning thoughtfulness. “what do you think?”

“more than you love yourself?” you guess expectantly.

but with how he gasps dramatically at you, all your expectations of the narcissistic king drop like dead flies. your expression must’ve also dropped without you noticing, because now, your asshole of a boyfriend is cackling at you. you mercifully resist the urge to hit his annoyingly pretty face as you pout and face away from him with a huff.

“what’s with that glare? i didn’t mean it, you know.” yet he continues to snicker like a child.

“what did i even expect from you…" you sigh, visibly deflating in disappointment as you stand up to leave. “i’m an idiot.”

“yep, you are for even believing i’d—” wrapping his arms around your frame, he pulls you onto his lap with yet another shit-eating grin of his. “—let you go like that. now gimme a kiss, chuu—”

pushing away his exaggerated puckered lips from your face, still glaring at him. “what do you say first, my liebe?”

he chuckles, half of his face flat against your palm that’s pushing him away. “i’m very sorry. i love you more than anything. well, except my side chicks—” your glare turns into a scowl. “—just kidding! i love you, baby. so much that i’d give up anything in this world just to see you smile.”

removing your hand from his face, you finally let him attack you with his kisses.

REO smugly raises his black card. well, it would’ve been a lot more cool and impressive if he didn’t practically jump out of the couch in his pajamas and full-on sprinted to his bedroom to fetch it. was he waiting for this question for a long time now?

“…what’s that have to do with—”

“i love you, as much as the amount within this baby right here. if not, then more!” he slaps the who-knows-how-much card onto the coffee table, gazing at you with excitement not much unlike a puppy waiting for the coos and praises of its owner after fetching them a stick.

adorable. so goddamn cute. ahhhhh. you want to rip your hair out.

“how long were you waiting for this moment…?” why does this scene seem so familiar?

"a long time. i saw this while reading one of the romance novels you had, and i just had to do it.” he smiles sheepishly at you. “was my excitement a dead giveaway or…?”

that explains the feeling of deja vu, then. you remember getting giddy over that specific scene. mindlessly, you snort at the fact that this man has more achievements than anyone you’ve ever known yet he’s still trying to impress you. jesus. he’s so…

you lean over to him, grasping his hand in your own. “you know, you look so kissable right now.”

he perks up immediately. “heh—then, don’t mind me if i do.”

NAGI hums, animatedly tapping away at his game, not sparing you a glance. “would it be bad if i said that question’s a hassle?”

“…? why do you think so?”

“well…you’re only asking that because you want me to say something that’ll uh…make you blush or something right?” he starts, voice remaining bored as ever. “but if i don’t manage to, you’ll be dissatisfied or even use it as leverage to get mad at me to get my attention.”

you frown. “what are you—”

“i don’t mean it in a bad way.” he finally looks at you, a bold ‘victory!’ visible on his phone screen. “it’s not that i’m not willing to indulge you—it’s just that i don’t really know how to be romantic, and i also don’t wanna make you sad so…”

you blink when he performs a beckoning motion with his fingers, silently requesting for you to come near him.

complying with a raised brow, your confusion is immediately replaced by shock, and maybe a tad bit of warmth as the tall boy’s arm wrap themselves around your form, pulling you down with him with a small ‘oof’.

“n—nagi!?” you squirm.

“i love you a lot, [name].” he nuzzles his face onto your hair, his next words a bit muffled as they left his lips. “so don’t get mad at me, please?”

how in the world are you going to get mad at this goddamn sloth when he’s acting like this??

ISAGI blinks. scanning your face for a moment for any uncertainty or insecurity that might’ve influenced your posed question. but when he finds none, redness takes control of his entire face like a infectious parasite.

“why do you want to know?” his voice is meek, most likely caught off guard by such a direct question.

“just curious.” you reply, smiling at the way he seems so wrapped up in your finger despite it being so loose. “you don’t have to answer though. it’s quite an open question—vague and has a lot of possible answers.”

he stares down at his palm, carefully planning out his next choice of words for your inquiry. he really wants to provide an answer, something that shows he’s completely confident in your relationship. but…

how much he loves you? how is he even going to start?

“i’m not really sure how to put it but,” he starts, determination on his expression as he turns to look at you. “i’m certain i love you a lot. not sure just how much exactly but…”

“if it could go by anything, i think about you so much that my first instinct in the morning is to grab my phone and text you a good morning,” he adds on while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “i-i don’t know. was that a good way of putting it? there’s also the fact that i always unconsciously brew two coffees even when we don’t live together, and oh! there’s also that time i—”

too caught up in his mind to recount the times his love had overshadowed his rationality and normalcy, he fails to see the lovestruck gaze given by a certain someone, completely and utterly in love with the man chatting away that you could probably see hearts in those [e/c] irises.

just wait till you start on sharing your side of the relationship.

BACHIRA grins impishly as he takes out a ruler, pulling down an imaginary board from thin air whilst putting on some nerdy glasses from nowhere. he points the tip of the ruler on an equation, your face now deadpan.

what is he doing…?

“the formula for measuring my love for [name]! note; very easy!”

you snort at his antics, before deciding to play along as you nod for him to continue.

with his ever-present grin, he taps the board with his ruler, adjusting his glasses as if to catch your attention like a typical teacher. “now, [name], can you try to answer this equation for me? these glasses are kinda blurry.”

n-no teaching or guides at all? uhm, okay.

you suck in a breath, gazing at the imaginative board with an unperturbed focus.

[name]’s infinite beauty x [name]’s infinite kindess x [name]’s infinite funniness equals N…what are these variables?

this shouldn’t even be a working equation but if you’re playing with how bachira’s mind works, then…“infinite?”

“yes!" he swoops in lowly and sweeps you off your feet, a yelp escaping your lips as he lifts you up bridal style. “looks like i have to add [name]’s infinite smartness into the equation too, what do you say?”

“whatever you want. but i think i need to mention that infinity isn’t actually a number so i think you’ll have to make a different formula—”

“jokes on you, i won’t let the laws of math deter me from figuring out the estimate of my infinite love!”

BAROU sneers. making quite an ugly face that forces you to be wary if he’s about to spit in your face or not.

“hah, when and where did you hear that i, the king, loved you, a mere peasant??”

raising a brow at him, you quickly throw a glance at the bouquet of flowers delicately placed onto a polishes and refined vase, the glint of its glassy appearance reminding you who it undoubtedly came from, and whom it was given to.

“at the front of that bakery you like, around 3pm on a sunday a few weeks ago, after i gave you flowers, you replied to my confession by saying—” you’re promptly cut off as an oven mitt is unceremoniously thrown at your face.

“what the hell?” he says breathlessly, letting out an unbelieving scoff as he crosses his arms. like a tsundere. “why do you even remember all that? creep.”

“well, you see, it was the first time king barou had bared his feelings towards me. an extremely rare moment, even though we’re basically dating right now.”

his eye twitches. “WHO THE HELL SAID WE WERE DATING?!”

“eh?” your sarcasm is immediately gone. “you said you loved me back, so i thought that—”

“is that why you’re always in my goddamn house unannounced??” he cuts you off, again.

“it’s kinda late to retract my view of our status now though. your sisters really like me as your lover for some reason.”

he responds with a groan, muttering something about how his soccer is now doomed by some outsider. silly king. he doesn’t even notice that he could always kick you out, yet simply chooses not to.

no i didn’t add a part where they’d explicitly have to theoretically choose between you or soccer because lets be fr they’d all choose to kick a ball forever over some head

its 3am rn (no beta we die like men) so if theres a few typos or pronoun and grammatical errors that ive missed, please do tell me!

[n0tamused]

Hi! Could I request Jiyan, who didn't realise he was in love with his best friend!reader until he almost lost them. The moment he held them unconscious in his arms everything just clicked.

Angst with a happy ending, please.

A/n: sorry this took some time to write! I initially planned to write this as some short drabble/scenario but as you can see, things went out of control lol I do hope you enjoy this :) Also a small note - I initially wrote this with you/yours stuff, but I wanted to experiment this method, so I do apologize if there is some mistakes left here regarding that. Do tell me which one you guys prefer more? You/yours or they/them/she/her.

Contents: Jiyan x GN!Reader, they/them pronouns, blood and injuries, angst but turns to bittersweet at the end, fluff? They both live at the end so we can count it as a happy ending.

Words: 3867

'I can't do this without you'

Holding the weight of a body in his arms never felt heavier before. The gradual added weight on his heart and lungs kept getting heavier and heavier by the moment, he was sure it would make his ribs burst from the pressure. And he wouldn’t be surprised if the next time he looked down he saw his own heart beating outside his very body. (Y/n) was pale, bleeding and giving no response to any action he took. “Please..” His lips muttered, but to what extent his plea stretched out, no one could tell. 

His dragon came crashing through the waves of TDs like a storm, breaking apart their limbs and turning them to ash before he himself emerged from its glowing maw, jumping in front of (Y/n) with spear in hand. Jiyan’s face twisted in a fierce scowl, his sharp eyes hooded beneath his knit brows as he plunged into the remaining monsters that lurked around. But not even after he dealt with them did he achieve the quiet that usually followed a concluded battle. The buzzing in his ears did not stop. His heart beat still thundered between his ears, and the sound only multiplied once his golden eyes landed on the falling body of his dearest companion.

There was no time, he told himself, gathering all the courage and patience he found within himself, gathering them in his arms and fleeing from the charred fields as if fire was threatening to lick up his heel. The buzzing sound was deafening, so akin to silence yet it was everything but. He heard nothing else, but he heard it all. As he pushed his way past the soldiers at the front, eyes wide and staring into the void, trusting only his feet to find the path for him. He needs nothing else but to hurry and scold himself for not being able to go faster.

He carried them into the first medical tent his eyes landed on, the flap of the tent slapping out of place and before his form and before he could process the light slap the material did to his cheek, he was placing them down onto one rolled out mat in the corner. He saw the lips of the medical staff move, but no words reached his ears, and for all he knew he could’ve been barking or whispering at them to do something - to help them. He joined in the efforts, plucking out the gauze and the antiseptics from  the corners of the tent and gathering them next to the mat as one healer already began to cut away their dirty clothes to gain better access to the wound. 

The bare skin glistened with blood, the only shade of theirs that could make Jiyan feel sick to the stomach. Other healers in the tent looked at him in bewilderment as his breathing was yet to calm down, labored and ragged, but his hands held utmost care and precision as he started on the gauze, already keeping steps ahead and waiting until the healer next to him peeled the clothes away. Each layer unfolded like a wet petal, revealing the yawning gash underneath. Jiyan’s golden eyes turned a shade darker under the pressure and the light in the tent, turning a shade of olive instead, sick with worry. Were they gone already? He looks at their face, glimpsing their peaceful expression, dotted with splatters of blood and grime. They’re still bleeding, he notes as his fingers become slick with blood whilst he worked on their wound, there was still a beating heart inside of them, and that meant life. His mind spun prayers on repeat, prayers he thought he had long since forgotten the words of, favoring battle chants over putting his hope into something he couldn’t see or touch. How long till (Y/n) wakes?

Long time has passed until his mind has reeled back around to the present. He was alone now, aside from (Y/n), huddled on a small wooden chair in the opposite corner from which he could see them, patched up and under the light. His hands, once so calm and steady, had begun to shake as realization settled within him. How he could have so easily lost them, with so many words yet to be spoken, hurt more than any wound he sustained. Blood caked on his fingers, falling off into dust as he flexed them into a fist before releasing again. All the worry made him angry, and anger never suited him. It made him think badly, irrationally, and in the silence that followed the medical emergency of their state, all thoughts took root deep within his mind and soul, festering like a neglected cut. (Y/n) shouldn’t have been allowed on the front lines, he should have set them back, or even better - he should have misused his position and sent them home, risking to humiliate them for being sent home for seemingly nothing, other than his selfish need to keep them safe on all accounts. 

Sighing, Jiyan shuddered at his own mind’s skilled ways of wearing him down. It played out his image and character in ways he knew he’d never act. He’d never do those things, but in such a state as he was in, he nearly believed it all. Pressing his forehead into the clean heels of his palms he stared at his own boots until the silence became a soft comforting buzz. Sleep had tried to pull himself down his eyelids, but each time he refused it, eventually finding himself sitting at their side again, instead of the faraway corner. Long hours had passed, and Jiyan felt the camp go to bed with the night settling in the corners of the world. But he couldn’t, it would be a disservice to you if he left you alone, but his duty called - and he internally begged for forgiveness as he stepped out of the tent to check up on all the others, cleaning his hands while he was at it. 

There was blood on his hands.

And it was theirs.

And he’d never be able to wash it away, no matter how hard he scrubbed, or how many times he washed his hands. 

Morning came chill and misty, but Jiyan’s body felt none of it. The cold clung onto him like a second coat, greeting him like an old friend and embracing him as the same. He only hoped the cold did not embrace them too. The night was sleepless for Jiyan, and after he had ensured the safety of others and checked in with his Captains, he had found his way back to the medical tent he left (Y/n) in. 

“There’s a lot for me to say, my dear…friend..” Jiyan’s pale lips formed the last word hesitantly, treating it as an impostor instead of the usual warming endearment in which fashion he used it years ago. The word had long since become strange to him, yet he wished not to risk disrespecting them in this state, heavily considering the fact they may not even share in his sentiments.  “Yet you seem so eager to cut your life short.. “ he sneered lightly, not at them, but rather at himself, blame always within reach to be pulled towards himself by his very hand.

“What would  I do without you..? Who would I be without you?” The world around him seemed to quiet down in silent sympathy.  “You mean so much more than you believe, more than you know.. I’ve wished to tell you, but all you force me to do is scold you and weep over you like some child… like when we were kids…” 

A twitch, and then the fingers of (Y/n)’s hand grasped into a fist, making his eyes widen at the sight he barely glimpsed with his head hanging low, staring at the ground. His golden eyes snapped to their face, seeing the corners of their lips curl downward into a pain filled scowl. 

“(Y/n)!-” he beamed with all the softness his surprise would allow him as he kneeled beside them in one swift swoop. His hand came over their eyes to shield it from the light once he saw how their nose scrunched and brows knit together. Relief filled their eyes as the intrusive light no longer tried to pry them open so cruelly. Dizziness was still huge, feeling as if it split their blood apart, making it as light as clouds, and making them float on top of the mat. 

“What’re you.. rambling about…?” (Y/n) muttered, throat dry and voice coarse and wincing, their face once more ended up in a painful twist. Jiyan didn’t need all his medical knowledge to see they were still out of it, his frown deepening, but his heart raced up to climb into his throat. 

“I was saying how reckless you can be..” he whispered, blinking away the nervousness from his eyes. His other hand hovered over them, refusing to touch them in fear of hurting them. But his eyes drank in everything, looking for any anomalies that he may have not noticed before, although the chance he missed something was astronomically low with how keenly his eyes kept vigil over you throughout the night.  “Are you in pain? Tell me, I’ll help make it better” he told them, shuffling as he loomed over their body. 

(Y/n)’s eyes still refused to open after they fluttered shut, their throat bobbing, but swallowing nothing with how parched it felt. “Water..” They croaked, and suddenly light was kissing their eyelids again as Jiyan moved away in haste to fetch a bottle of water. 

He returned as quickly as he left, swift as the wind and helping them drink with one hand stabilizing their head and the other holding the bottle to their chapped lips, watching them carefully as they languidly took sips to drink. The gloved iron claw on his finger faintly scratched against their scalp, tangled between their hairs. Letting out a small sigh, thirst finally quenched, they finally opened their eyes to see just how disheveled and worried Jiyan looked. 

“Jiyan..” (Y/n) called him, watching as his face both hardened and mellowed at the drop of his name in that worn out tone. Their face looked confused to see him like this, not that they ever doubted he’d worry if they got injured, but the tension within this space felt like a maw of a beast, ready to snap its jaws shut. Something was amiss, something they couldn’t quite place.  The aching throb in their side didn’t subside, but they were able to somewhat ignore it for now, worry poisoning them into thinking of the worst - whatever could be worse than their own life nearly being taken away. The question remained unsaid, but it appeared as if Jiyan didn’t need the verbal communication to respond. 

“Nothing- don’t worry about it.. Please, lay down and tell me how you feel” He urged as he placed his palm onto their sweaty forehead, pushing it back onto the small pillow below. (Y/n) blinked, confused and scared and exhausted as he pawed gently at their skin, only pulling away after he ensured there was no rising heat. 

“I’m.. aching.. that’s all.. and sore all over”

“I believe that to be an understatement, this isn’t some small scratch.. You nearly..” Jiyan looks at the bandages, splotches of red already having bloomed through like little poppies in a faraway field. “I’ll get you something for the pain now… Don’t move.” It was a command, that last part, and left no room for any question or rebuttal as he lifted himself away, painfully severing the moment in favor of searching the place for painkillers and herbs. If there was a way to remain glued to their side and heal them in that way, he wouldn’t have ever left, and that option would have done his heart many favors.

“When will you start listening to orders?” he asked as he walked back to the mat, his hand grasping the gorge shaped pill box his mother gave him, his tone now heralding the lesson he was about to drop on them. His eyes refused to meet theirs as he crouched down again, popping the lid of the gorge open and letting two pills fall into his open palm. 

“Whenever you... decide to be less dense..” (Y/n) responded with a small cough that rippled the pain from their wound, and wincing they forced themselves to stay still. He did not take sweetly to the jest, his eyes focusing on them like a target, a beloved one at that.

“You should have called out.. I was there, I could have helped you out. You didn’t need to get hurt, and all because of your faulty sense of independence” Jiyan kept going, urgency for them to understand his side coloring his voice. He helped them sit slowly, apologizing for making them move in a husky and quiet tone, apologizing for making them sit and be here and be in pain, swallowing the big tasteless pills. 

Keeping their silence, (Y/n) looks down, guilt seeping through their veins and weary body which seemed to know no rest now. 

Sore and worried and dizzy and ever forgetful in this half slumbering state they could only grasp at the thin strings of consciousness as Jiyan loomed over them like a hawk, restless in his pursuit to help, yet he remained in the dark as to how else to do so. What else could he do except think of healing magic he had no possession of. His teeth grinded together, golden eyes flickering over them and then up to their face, meeting their bleary gaze.

“I’m sorry…”

(Y/n) whispered, one hand over their chest as they took breaths in, slow and weak, but good - they were not the shallow breaths you took when he was racing back to the medics and other healers with them in his arms. This was better.

Jiyan’s heart stuttered at the low tone that broke under the pressure he had placed upon them, unwilling yet it was no less necessary if he wished to have them understand. Too many times he had sat down with them, told them to be careful, to follow protocol and all the talked about strategies, to value the teammates at their sides, yet it all seemed for naught. What did those conversations mean, they could not heal you now and make you whole again. 

A shaky sigh drops from Jiyan, pulling all the weight from his shoulders and making him sag in his spot, head hanging low and heavy. What was he supposed to say?  He had words too many to share.

“It’s… fine.. What’s done is done, and we can’t change what happened.. It’s alright..”

“You’re mad at me..”

Of course he is. Grief has never bitten him so hard as in the moment he saw them stagger in the field, it made his stomach churn and his sides tickle as if wind passed through the hollows between his ribs. And he grieved as if he lost them while patching you up, so much so it poisoned him and made him mad, angry. 

“I.. I am not mad at you.. ” ‘I love you, why can’t you see?’ - a part of him wanted to say.

Blinking at him, tears bubbled up to their lash line, listening to him huff, unknowing of the inner turmoil he struggled through, the answer to close yet so far, holding you in suspense. Like a word about to be spoken.

“Why can’t you just listen to orders.. You throw yourself into danger as if you have lives to spare” Jiyan began, finding their eyes in a stern glare which mellowed out quickly. “You are not valued only as a soldier to be thrown across the board but as a human, someone’s companion.. (Y/n)..”

There’s a plea in his tone, and another in his eyes, and his fingers itch with the need to hold onto them, to let the venom of his grief seep into them too, to make them see, understand. It’s like a beast he’s hardly keeping at bay. When was the last time he felt so strongly about someone? Anyone? And to the point he’s shedding his general persona to give way to a man desperate to keep the few people he holds dear alive. Jiyan couldn’t name anyone.

“I understand that, but Jiyan.. how many nights have we spent talking about the day of peace? When there’s going to be no wars to fight? I know-” A cough interrupts them, but Jiyan does not jump at that opportunity to cut them off and scold them - he waits. “..I know it’s a childish dream, a hope, but peace is achievable. And if it means getting battered and bruised and hurt along the way, then so be it  - the road to peace is not paved in a bed of flowers..” (Y/n) frowns, nearly pouting, and in some absentminded state, their hand flails in the air in search of his, a purchase he gladly grants without a thought. 

Shaky fingers curl around his gloved ones, a tinge smaller, and more fragile than his own with the state now. They lack the grip they usually possess, yet they grasp and hold and he holds back, squeezing a bit tighter. God knows, he shares their view, their childish hope, but he can’t agree with it, not now.  “(Y/n).. Peace will mean little if you’re dead to see it..” It’s a whisper, as fragile as the wings of a hatchling, and as soft as the summer breeze. 

“That all will mean nothing to me either, it won’t be peace if you’re not with me to see it..” he added, his other hand grasping over their own, thumbing at their soft skin. He swallows thickly, hoping to wish away the tears that threaten to come up to his eyes.  “I lo-... I love …you…” 

Realization is slow to settle, but he sees it in their face, their eyes that fail to blink as they take him in, deciphering his words one by one, failing, at first, to understand their weight from the usual affections they shared before. Parting their lips, they fail to respond, their eyes flickering to the surroundings before they return to him, and it was as if all air had been knocked out of their lungs.  The meaning is written all over him, communicated through all ways but verbal and it was enough. They were children together, growing up and exploring the world, plucking strange berries from nature and sharing them together, they grew up together.

Now they are grown, and (Y/n) focuses on the thought that has appeared in their mind countless times before - growing old together. It was just out of reach, and it was not guaranteed and their actions on the battlefield nearly made it certain that the future would not embrace them together. Trying to blink the tears away, they look at Jiyan, apologetic and ashamed, but where they wished to seek forgiveness was unneeded, as Jiyan had already forgiven it, no matter the hurt. 

“I love you too-” The words were accompanied by a stray tear wetting their cheek. 

Hushed breaths and shuffling of clothes flutter, and in a blur, Jiyan had pulled himself ever closer, sitting at their side and ever so carefully drawing them to his chest. His movements are slow and calculated even in the face of such strong emotion, too fearful to hurt them. 

He lets them rest their face into the crook of his neck, eyes fluttering closed as they both simply hold onto one another, and it was in that moment he felt them squeeze him back, full of blooming life and energy. His fingertips itched for a stronger embrace but he controlled himself. 

“I love you..” he repeated, even more quiet and directly beside their ear. “Please.. listen to me.. I only wish to keep you safe.. alive most of all.. Understand me..” They nod their head against him, their fingers clawing at his back with a little more strength, holding on as if he was a ghost ready to vanish.  “You’re my candlelight leading me through the darkness.. I can’t do it without you..”

“Oh, Jiyan..” They crack their voice over his name, eyes seeing a mosaic of colors through tears ready to be shed. “I only wish to help you.. Under all this armor and uniform, I can see you struggling too.. How can I not become a little desperate when I see all my other attempts to help you have failed?” They sigh, their breath tickling the skin underneath this chin and he shudders to think of this mutual tug-of-war. They can’t win, neither can. 

“You leave my struggles to me.. I do not withhold them for no reason, but I see that has done me, us, more harm than good..” He says but fails to make another sentence, knowing he’d rather not burden them with his own worries, and he’d much rather hear of their own. 

“Just.. promise me this” he begins, pulling away and making them face to face. “You will not jump to take any more blows for me, in no amounts at all. I’m the one that should guard you, and not the other way around” He is firm in his case, and even if (Y/n) had the strength to argue, they wouldn’t. This was final.

Closing your eyes and giving a little bow of their head, they profess their agreement to his words without a word of their own. And sinking back into his embrace felt like sinking into a bed of feathers, soft, warm and welcoming. “Fine..”

“We’ll talk more about this once you’ve healed..” Jiyan muttered, his lips ghosting their brow and feeling them nod against him again. His hand rubs up and down their back, and his lips land on their cheek, lingering there in a gentle expression of his love that knew no bounds.

The flickering light and the sudden silence made his mind wander, and his body began to rock back and forth slowly, hoping to ease you into slumber. He wondered how it would feel to hold them again, when they were healed and not even a scar remained of their injury; how it would feel to kiss their brow and hold their cheek in his palm, to see those lights stare back at him from within their eyes, full of mirth and devoid of pain; he thinks how comforting it would feel to feel you flush against him each morning, holding your warm body close and tucking them under the covers when they shift in their sleep… So many images run through his mind, and he prays he gets to see them materialize in reality. 

For now he was fine with holding them, serving their needs until war reeled its ugly head again, and he had to leave once more. For his people and (Y/n) he’d grow great miles to achieve peace, even if it meant losing his own peace. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[dropoutconfessions]

It makes me incredibly angry when people say "Riz is canonically aro/ace" and act like you're a horrible person if you ship him with people. Like. Nowhere in the show is it ever stated that he's aro/ace. The conversation people reference as him being "canonically" aro/ace is just him expressing his lack of very specifically sexual attraction, and even then the response from his dad (and by extension Brennan and the show as a whole) is that it's okay, and that it's specifically unclear whether he's ace or whether it's just not something that's happened for him in specific yet. It is intentionally vague as to whether he is ace or not, and there's genuinely zero indication in the show that he's aro other than that he doesn't have a love interest which could be completely unrelated.

Right so I'd like to share my opinion on this for a brief moment. I am still fully here to give people a voice, but this is just, an issue that kinda hits close to home since I'm demiaro.

The most annoying thing in a lot of media is when representation is shoehorned in as a list of labels and buzzwords we're given. Queer people should not have to turn to the screen and say their full identity in order for them to be canonically queer. That's what subtext is for. That's what good writing does. Is not spell it out for you when it's not necessary to do so. They do not need it to be spelt out for it to be very clear that he's ace/aro.

I am going to assume ignorance here instead of assuming malicious intent. The idea that the reason he isn't ace, is because "it's not something that's happened for him in specific yet", is an extremely common thought process behind asexual erasure. I'm sure that's not what you intended, but that is something to reflect on in general.

Both Adaine and Riz have yet to have relationships or display crushes (not counting junior year since most of the evidence comes from sophomore year) . Adaine hasn't gotten an entire nightmare sequence / arc around dealing with here friends all finding partners and leaving them alone. Adaine hasn't expressed or had conversations about any lack of sexual or romantic feels to the extent Riz has. Adaine is headcanoned as ace/aro by some people. Riz is more than that. Riz is very much canonically ace/aro if you do the slightest bit of character analysis. There's accidental coding and then there's Riz Gukgak.

List of every single Riz trait that is hella ace/aro coded

A lack of sexual and romantic attraction to other people (I'm not counting the time where he said he was kinda into Sexy Rat, that whole scene was a bit, and absolutely insane)

Making up a partner/crush in order to fit in (I have 1000% done that and so have a lot of acespec and arospec people)

A fear of being left behind by his friends because of a belief that they will find partners and move on from him, largely caused by alloromantic culture's insane emphasis on how the most important relationship is a romantic one

The fact that almost every other fantasy high pc has been in a relationship or a crush (kristen had tracker and gertie, gorgug had zelda, unit, and mary ann, fabian had aelwyn, ivy, and mazey, adaine had oisin and possibly zayn depends on your interpretation, and fig has had ayda and a string of professionals in a variety of fields across seasons 1 and 2) with only riz as a single character

The fact his sophomore year arc was entirely about his lack of sexual/romantic attraction and fear of being left alone because of it

Like not even a joke, it was that and his dad, that was the whole arc

His junior year arc was also about his obsession to stay together as a friend group, which like I mentioned above, is very clearly based in his asexuality and aromanticism

I am not going to stop people from shipping characters ever. If you want to rewrite character sexualities, that's fine by me, I'm a big believer in "Don't Like, Don't Read". I am not gonna pretend like characters are not their sexuality in canon so that people feel justified in writing their stories. People who rewrite character sexuality can do so without making everyone else assuage their guilt for them. I know I'm on the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension website, but it's not hard to tell Riz is ace/aro in canon, and pretending otherwise doesn't help your case.