#the entire perspective thing was a nightmare (A NIGHTMARE i tell you) but i wanted to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone

[delulluart]

after work hours (or: I got annoyed by people depicting him as an old man who uses his phone like a grandpa and this entire thing got completely out of hand)

[keiriiz]

Chrollo Relationship/Romantic Headcanons

Now for these headcanons, this is where my opinion might really differ from the rest of you guys. Of course this isn’t all but just some of my favorites. I will be putting a clear NSFW warning for when I start to talk about him in bed. 🔞

I do want to add that some of my headcanons would change depending on his partner. If they’re a Nen-user or not, exactly what their ability is, if they’re in the Phantom Troupe, and how long he’s known them, etc. These are just as neutral as possible haha. Even some of what I say here contradicts how I’ve written him in certain ships because I knew exactly how he would act for those specific love interests.

��� Right of the bat, Chrollo is bi-romantic, having very little preference of gender when it comes to his s/o. And sexuality wise, he’s definitely on the demisexual spectrum.

✥ Chrollo never really planned on being in a long term relationship or ever settling down with someone when he created the Phantom Troupe. It was just another aspect of life he was prepared to sacrifice. So giving a genuine relationship a shot he’d have to really love the other person.

✥ It would take forever for Chrollo to actually recognize he was feeling romantic attraction to another person as the entire thing is foreign to him.

✥ This man’s charisma goes out the drain when trying to flirt with someone he’s genuinely interested it. Tapping his fingers as a stim while he awkwardly flirts. It’s painfully adorable.

✥ Before making things official, he may do extensive research on his s/o. Background checks, verifying friends and family members, overall borderline stalking. It’s a safety measure. He doesn’t want to risk falling for someone who works for an opposing group or who might betray him.

✥ In a relationship, his s/o would be a source of comfort, especially if the relationship is long term. He’ll relax in their arms after a heist or cuddle up to them when he has a nightmare.

✥ I said in my last post but I’ll say it again here. Chrollo is a little spoon!

✥ It’s not too often Chrollo will verbally tell someone he loves them, his main ways of showing affection are quality time, and gift giving. And for his special someone, he wouldn’t just give them random things willy-nilly, he’d put thought behind each one. Say his partner mentions needing new shoes because their current ones are really worn out. You bet next time Chrollo sees them he’s bringing two pairs of brand new shoes.

✥ He loves to be able to lay his head in his s/o’s lap and have them play with his hair while he reads. He might even purr if given the right setting.

✥ Chrollo can be touch avoidant in general. If anyone touches him and he hasn’t given that person mental permission he will move away, shudder even. So if he’s actually allowing another in his space it really is a sign of fondness.

��� This man definitely takes notes from romance novels he’s read when it comes to dates with someone he’s head over heels for. It can be cheesy.

✥ Chrollo isn’t a chef by any means but on occasion he’ll attempt to cook for his s/o when staying in. Might as well put some of his cook books to use after all.

✥ The times Chrollo is with his partner, things can be quite pleasant. However he can still be emotionally distant. He often wonders what he did to deserve all of this. To be able to love and be loved. It’s a mental battle he might struggle with quite often in the relationship and he wouldn’t be too open to communicating that, leaving his s/o confused. Just some general reassurance could go a long ways.

✥ I feel like a lot of people go for the idea that he’d like others with similar interests or are like him in general, and I could see potential in that mindset however I much prefer the “opposites attract” trope. I think Chrollo might have a bigger interest in someone different than him who can really show a different perspective on certain things. Or even test his mindset and show him new interests.

✥ He’s protective of his s/o, knowing with the life he has, anyone might try to hurt them to get to him so Chrollo wouldn’t be one to really “show off” his partner unfortunately. They relationship could be pretty private.

✥ Assuming his s/o isn’t in the Troupe, Chrollo may ghost them while he’s away on the job. He’ll let them know he’s working, but no calls or texts while he’s away. He won’t even give a location. He wants to keep his personal life separate and doesn’t want to risk revealing to an enemy his relationship or possibly get distracted.

NSFW BELOW ‼️

✥ Before the relationship, Chrollo didn’t really like sex (as I mentioned him being demi), he viewed the act as a chore used on jobs to get information and didn’t find it all that gratifying.

✥ With his s/o, Chrollo much prefers to make love as opposed to casual sex. He likes the intimacy of being with someone he truly loves and not just an act of pleasure.

✥ He prefers bottoming though is open to being a verse. Acting as Boss all the time he really just likes to relax in his personal life so in all honesty it wouldn’t be rare to catch him being a pillow prince in bed.

✥ Chrollo’s not the biggest cock wise, probably just reaching average. He’s uncut being from Meteor City but trust and believe he keeps that shit clean with his pubic hair trimmed.

✥ He’ll almost never out right ask for sex, he’s honestly fine if his partner doesn’t have any interest in the act either. Though if they make a move he’s more than happy for a session.

✥ He’s got VERY sensitive nipples. Give them a little tug with your teeth and he’ll mewl.

✥ Aftercare is always a given between him and his s/o. If Chrollo just got done bottoming, cuddles and praise are a must. He’d especially melt if given a massage.

[tippenfunkaport]

Today Variety (see above) had an article naming Heidi Schreck as the new writer for the live action She-Ra series at Amazon that was announced back in Sept 2021 and, after seeing dozens of terrible takes and people who are fans of the Netflix's She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2017) freaking out, let's talk about this, shall we?

Disclaimer that I do not have any insider knowledge of this project specifically, this is just my educated perspective from my experience with IP and TV.

First and foremost, I will believe this project is actually happening when it is showing on my TV and not a moment sooner. Let's just say that.

Now assuming it IS happening, here's what you should understand...

IP is usually use it or lose it. If Dreamworks wants to keep the rights to make She-Ra content, they very likely must have something in active development or risk listing it. If Netflix isn't willing to make more of the animated series right now, then the Amazon deal is all they have or give She-Ra up entirely. 

If you're an SPOP (2017) fan, you're in favor of Dreamworks retaining the license over losing it because, so long as they have it, the door is always open for more of our SPOP in one way or another. This reboot doesn't negate the possibility of a continuation of the animated version or vice versa. (Fans of frequently rebooted properties like TMNT and MLP would be happy to tell you about how there's been content for multiple gens at the same time.) It's not like the new version erases the old. If anything, a reboot often makes it more likely you get content of a past gen because of renewed interest in the property as a whole.

"But what if it's sexist trash!" The biggest fear people had about this reboot was that it would be some male gaze disaster made to please the worst kind of people who hate all kinds of diversity. Obviously, we'll see what we get, but the fact that they specifically got a feminist playwright as the writer is a big thing should alleviate some of that fear.

"But will it be gay????" I've seen lots of freaking out that Adora's going to kill Catra and marry a man on her grave and other equally unlikely fears. And the fact is: We don't know if it will be gay! With this writer, the gay door certainly isn't closed, but that doesn't mean it's open either. But honestly the real question you should be asking is: will it be explicitly gay? Because the rainbow homo-eroticism is baked right into She-Ra OG so even if we don't get an explicit same-sex kiss on screen... it's likely still gonna be pretty gay.

Even a bad or infuriating reboot will revitalize the fandom and bring new fans to SPOP (2017) AND increase the chances of continuation. Say the new show is terrible. Say they annoy everyone by giving Catra and Adora a supercorp queerbaiting thing and then never make it canon or make Catra and Hordak in love and everyone is mad. (Which I feel obligated to point out is *extremely* unlikely as this is literally still Dreamworks' show. They are the same people that gave you the gay. They are keenly aware of what their audience wants so, even if they are reluctant to make it canon, at the least they are probably going to tease it.) But even in the worst case scenario of the straightest possible version of She-Ra, what are people going to do if the new show pisses them off? Turn back to She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, create more fanworks, interact with what's already there, keep the fandom alive for everyone. You want that!

"Well SPOP (2017) was perfect and they should never be allowed to make another version of She-Ra again unless it's just like the thing we just got!" Wow, where have I heard something like that before? Oh yeah, that's exactly what the nightmare chuds said about Netflix's She-Ra and if they had gotten their way, we wouldn't have had this show we love. So maybe take a nice deep breath, chill tf out and look at that fact that there is no reason yet to see this announcement as anything other than a good thing for both this new reboot and the animated version's future.

[serene-faerie]

Okay, but imagine the Darkening of Valinor and the very First Kinslaying from the Teleri's perspective. It's almost a straight-up horror movie.

(This turned out to be longer and more fic-like than I thought, so I put it under the cut)

It's another ordinary day in Alqualondë. You've just spent the whole day sailing, and you've just returned to the harbour. The city is sparkling and beautiful in the evening light, and you're excited to tell your family about your day at sea.

You stop to chat with friends, trade stories and laugh before you continue on your way home. You are completely at peace, ready to end the day with a nice dinner.

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, an all-consuming darkness falls upon the world. The beautiful light of the Two Trees has suddenly been extinguished. You can't see anything, not even your own hands in front of you.

You hear people crying out all around you in a cacophony of shock and terror. Your heart is racing against your chest. You don't know what's happening. Why is it so dark? What has happened to the Two Trees? Where has the light gone?

People stumble to light torches and candles and lanterns; anything to break this pitch darkness. Eventually, there are lanterns and torches lit up around the city. You've managed to find a torch, and now you can see in front of you again. But you're still scared. Everyone is just as confused and terrified as you are. No one knows what exactly is going on.

And then you start hearing news.

The Two Trees are dead. Melkor has destroyed them with the help of a terror named Ungoliant.

And now Melkor has just slain High King Finwë in Formenos.

You're horrified by the news. This is the very first time someone has been slain in Aman. And that too, Melkor, the most powerful Vala, has fallen to evil.

But the nightmare is far from over.

Not long after the news of Finwë's death has spread, an entire army comes marching to the gates of your city. It's an army composed entirely of Noldor, all of them carrying blades and spears and wearing helms upon their heads. You recognize some of your Noldorin friends in this army, but they may as well be strangers right now. Their eyes burn with an all-consuming anger and determination as they draw closer to the city.

And at the very front, leading this army, is Fëanor.

The sight of him scares you. His eyes burn with the fires of madness. It's obvious that he's grieved by the death of his father, but you don't like how he stares at your swan-ships, how unhinged his words are.

Then he demands to take your ships.

His demand leaves you speechless. Your friends are just as speechless, as is your king Olwë. The weight of Fëanor's demand is absurd. He claims that he needs them for vengeance. They need to get to Middle-earth so they can exact their revenge upon Morgoth and take back the Silmarils that he stole.

But the swan-ships are the pride of your kindred. You and your people have spent many long years crafting them and making them beautiful. And above all, your ships are vital to your daily lives. You need them for fishing, for sailing. The ships are as precious to you as the Silmarils are to Fëanor. And the Noldor don't know anything about sailing, and you don't want to see them wreck your creations that you worked so hard to make.

And that too, you do not like the prospect of waging war against Morgoth. It's obvious that Fëanor and his army aren't fully prepared for a war against a mighty fallen Vala. A campaign like this would need lengthy, proper planning.

Olwë tries to calm things down. He tries to talk sense into Fëanor, tries to dissuade him from his rage. But Fëanor is too far-gone to understand reason. And now he and his people start to insult you. They scorn you, claim that you would be nothing without their aid in building Alqualondë. Worse, your Noldorin friends are hurling similar insults. The words cut deep, and you're astonished. Are these really the same people whom you gladly received in your own home? Is this what they really think of you and your kind?

And then you notice some of the Noldor rushing towards your ships anyways. You and some of your Telerin friends rush after them, try to block their path. The Noldorin soldiers push you, insult you, and enough is enough. You spit in their face, and push one of them with all of your force.

"Get you gone, thief!" you shout. "You will not touch our ships!"

That's it. Swords are drawn, and Fëanor's shouting something you barely hear.

And then, the host of Noldor charges.

What follows is a horrific bloodbath. All around you, your kindred are being cut down by Noldorin blades. Their blood spills through the streets of Alqualondë, into the harbor. Their cries of anguish fill the air. You have nothing to fight back with, except your hunting knife. You try to fight back as much as you can, but the Noldor have the upper hand with their weapons. You watch your close friends get cut down, their bodies thrown off the ships they're trying to defend.

It hurts to fight back. You've never fought like this, so your movements are clumsy. Nevertheless, you manage to defend yourself. But your former Noldorin friends don't hesitate to fight you, and they leave you with many injuries.

It's a blur of chaos and bloodshed. At some point, a host led by Fingolfin joins in on the fray and you're all but outnumbered. In the end, your ships are stolen by Fëanor and his army, and they've left Alqualondë a ruin.

By some miracle, you've survived. But it doesn't feel like a miracle.

The air is heavy with the smell of blood and death. You hear the cries of your kindred all around you; pure, anguished wailing that shatters your heart. You stagger through the blood-stained streets, seeing the slain bodies of the people you know. You find the bodies of your friends floating in the harbour. Tears run hot down your cheeks, and you begin to weep. Your cries join those of your kindred as you collapse to your knees.

Other survivors find you. They take care of your injuries and bandage them. You help them, heal their wounds as well. But there's nothing that can heal the wounds dealt to your very heart and soul.

Then you learn that Fëanor has burned your ships. Those beautiful ships that you and your people have spent so many years crafting, they're gone forever.

It's another wound to your shattered soul.

You aren't alone in your grief. Lady Uinen has unleashed her own wrath upon the Noldor, sinking the stolen ships into the sea in her grief. The Valar also grieve for you, and Námo proclaims the Doom of the Noldor, barring them from returning to Aman. The Sindar, your kindred in Middle-earth, are just as furious on your behalf when they hear the news.

But it's all a cold comfort.

Eventually, you begin to heal. You help your kindred rebuild your ships, make them as beautiful as before. You sail them everyday, care for them, use them as they were meant to be used. But no matter what, it will never be the same.

Your community heals gradually. But the horror of the kinslaying still lingers in Alqualondë like a shadow; a festering wound that won't truly go away. They say that Morgoth is the ultimate evil, but what the Fëanorians did to your kindred was just as evil. Nothing can possibly erase the horror of that night, when blood spilled through the streets of Alqualondë.

You will never look at those Noldorin friends the same way again. You become very protective over your city, and your ships. Every year, your community holds a memorial, setting lanterns afloat in the water to remember those who died in the First Kinslaying.

You swear to never help the Noldor, even if they plead for forgiveness. It will be a lifetime before you're ready to forgive the Noldor for their betrayal.

And nothing they do can ever change that.

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

The Fear of Being Forgotten

Ok, it’s time I talk about Pomni.

That’s right I’m doing another character analysis! Really it’s more of an analysis of episode 2 from her perspective, but I have a lot feelings about how they are handling her character so far.

I know we’re only on episode 2 and I don’t want to get ahead of myself so I’m gonna be keeping my speculations about this character to a minimum and focus only on what the show and Gooseworx has given us so far.

So I think everyone and their cat knows by now that Pomni’s name roughly translates to "Remember". Of course the irony being that it’s a name that was randomly given to her in the Pilot to replace the one she doesn’t remember.

So in a very meta sense, Pomni’s name is a joke, one that’s given at her expense.

Now, her entire motivation in the Pilot was centered around escaping this new reality that she suddenly finds herself in. And for the first half she’s kinda in denial, using the “dream” excuse as a flimsy way to rationalize everything, but still remains vigilant in finding a way out of this “dream”. So when Caine asks her what she wants to be called she tells him “I don’t care just pick anything.”, because she’s still convinced that what’s happening to her is reversible in some way. So what does it matter what she’s called in this new fictional place?

But in the end, it dawns on her that she is, in fact, trapped. No waking up, and no getting out. The Circus is her new home. And "Pomni" is now her new name. Whether she likes it or not, this is her life.

It really adds to the identity crisis of these characters that they know who they were but they just don’t know who they are. They don’t have full on amnesia when they enter the Circus, they just lose their identities (their names AND their physical appearance). And since it’s just their names that they completely forgot, that makes this scene

far more eerie.

Because just imagine how weird it is to suddenly find yourself looking at a face that is not yours. You know what you’re supposed to look like but your reflection is not showing that. Brain cannot compute.

(Actually I’m sure there are lots who relate to that specific feeling.)

So we know that these characters cannot “die”. They can get squashed, stretched, stabbed and suffer all other manners of bodily harms via cartoony physics without any lasting consequence because their bodies aren’t real. Their minds are the only part of themselves that is. Which is why Abstraction is the only major threat to be feared in the Circus . It’s the threat, because at that point, they lose what little else is left.

I love the different abstracted designs that fans have come up with, but this makes a lot more sense. You are no longer you when you abstract. And it’s irreparable. A broken mind creating a broken body. Caine, being an A.I., treats the abstracted like they’re just a whoopsie, sweeping them away in his cellar to be ignored. They are no longer considered characters. They’re arguably not human anymore either.

After they abstract, they’re nothing.

So the opening for episode 2 establishes Pomni’s fear of this right out the gate.

She’s not just trapped, she’s in danger of completely losing herself in this place. But this little scene does so much more than that. Because the choice in dialogue here is sooo interesting.

Pomni’s dream/ nightmare interpretation of Ragatha is someone who is mocking her for not being able to handle living in the Circus for more than a single day. Ragatha has managed to at least maintain this facade of cheerfulness, and everyone else has survived for years in spite of it all, yet here Pomni imagines that her mental health is so fragile that she couldn’t even last very long before suffering the same fate as Kaufmo.

And then we have NightmareJax chiming in about how he can’t even be bothered to remember her name, the new fake name that she’s had for only a few hours.

So this tells us two very important things about Pomni already. 1: She has very very little faith in herself and 2: She’s terrified of being completely forgotten. Both pretty reasonable and relatable fears.

Of course, we know this is just a dream cuz Ragatha wouldn’t be this callous. And we see this not a minute later after Pomni wakes up when she personally comes to check up on her immediately the next morning. With none of the quiet awkward tension from the day before, just normal awkwardness because Ragatha is too gay to function still trying too hard to make Pomni feel at home.

Now, I love Ragatha very much. I love her because she’s such a sweet person while being absolutely TERRIBLE about consoling people.

She speaks to Pomni but she doesn’t talk to her about what happened the other day. And this distinction is very important because what happened the other day was awful in many ways for both of them, and one of the first things she says to Pomni is

You can’t do this. You can’t undermine a traumatic event by calling it something like this. Pomni lost her home, her name, and her hopes of escape all in one day. Not to mention she has witnessed someone becoming a monster, getting seriously hurt, and being shoved down a hole with no regards to who they used to be. Nobody has really addressed her directly about all of that until now. And it was all condensed in one silly little word. (I love how this frame shows how Ragatha is fully aware that what she just said was BS)

And when someone tries telling you that what happened wasn’t so bad (when it obviously was) it makes you feel…shitty. More specifically, it makes it look like you were not personally capable of handling the bad thing that happened.

“You’re feeling bad not because the situation was bad, but because you are lesser for letting the situation affect you the way it did”

We already know Pomni thinks very little of herself for believing that abstraction will happen easily for her compared to the others, so hearing this definitely didn’t help.

To Ragatha’s credit, she tries to reassure her that there is no ill will between them by affirming that Pomni’s thought process for abandoning her was “understandable”. But it unfortunately comes off as a little passive aggressive. We know Ragatha is being sincere, because we as the audience have the benefit of hindsight, but Pomni doesn’t. “Understandable” does not mean “acceptable”. Jax’s destructive behavior towards the others and everything else in the Circus is “understandable”.

Abandoning Ragatha a second time after promising to come back to help her was not ok. Did it make sense in the moment, yeah. Was it still kind of a dick move, yup. And Pomni is very well aware of this. So it’s likely she doesn’t 100% believe Ragatha when she says shit like “there’s no hard feelings” nor can she think of her as a friend (yet) because she’s still not ok with her situation. She’s not terrified anymore and she’s past the bargaining phase that there’s still a chance for escape, now she’s just more or less resigned to it (and only after one day which is remarkable).

What also doesn’t help is that for the majority of the episode Ragatha’s attitude comes off as a bit patronizing.

So. Yeah. She wouldn’t appreciate this level of infantilization from someone she had previously dreamed was making fun of her.

What’s sad is that Ragatha’s not acting like this to be deliberately condescending towards Pomni. She really is just this into the adventures.

Bless her heart

Unfortunately, Pomni’s not having any of it because it’s gotta be kinda disheartening to know that your new eternal life just amounts to playing make believe with a bunch of maladjusted adults.

One of my favorite scenes that I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about is this one

Because I caught how she didn’t start looking away all irritated until Ragatha said “some way you could help”. Now I interpreted her reaction in two ways: Either she really doesn’t feel like getting involved in the adventure and is frustrated that Ragatha is still trying to push her to participate or (my personal favorite read on it) she thinks Ragatha is subtly rubbing it in her face how useless she was at trying to help her the day before.

Remember, Pomni actually went to a lot of effort to find Caine before she saw the “Exit” door. We don’t know for sure how long she spent looking for help, but it was a valiant effort on her part to explore the Tent on her own, only to fail at the end. Both at helping and not finding a way to leave.

She is two for two on the girlfailure checklist. And I’d imagine her self esteem would continue to decline with every little reminder that anything she tries to help herself or anyone else is futile.

Which is why her conversation with Gummigoo becomes such a turning point for her. It also shows how much better Pomni is at talking to others by allowing herself to be vulnerable.

She doesn’t try to make what Gummigoo is going through a lesser deal than it is. I also think the purpose of Gummigoo as a character was to be a sort of parallel narrative to Pomni.

The extreme wide shot of them sitting together under the map of his fake world makes them both look so small and inconsequential. And then it pulls back into a full shot of them with Pomni trying to convince Gummigoo that he does have value because he has people that he cares about and that care about him. (It won’t be until the very end where Pomni realizes that she’s in the same position as he is).

Gummigoo makes the argument of why should any of that matter when he, as an NPC, doesn’t have the luxury of having what little he has (his friends and his affection for them) when it will all go away as soon as the adventure ends. He was only designed for a single purpose, and that purpose ends with being forgotten.

Now we already know how Pomni feels about that, so she gives him what she’s been wanting: a way out.

She offers him a chance to be something more than what he was designed to do, where the fear of being forgotten doesn’t have to come into fruition (at least not in the way he would have to worry about)

And then he asks her the very fair question of why does she even bother helping him if he’s not even real, and her answer helps to further establish Pomni’s overall character. It’s not just a short term goal like wanting to find a way out of the Circus, it’s her defining motivation that will encompass her arc for the rest of the series.

Even in the Pilot, she proved to be a compassionate person when she chose to help Ragatha (both in offering her hand the first time and choosing to go back for her later). So I imagine she will start to actively be there for the other cast members once she grows more comfortable with them. Pomni has the benefit of being the newest addition to the Circus so she’s able to look at the others more critically by just passively observing them. Then calling them out on their behavior, not out of malice, but out of altruistic concern. These people have issues, she may not be able to fix them, but she’ll be willing to listen.

(This might be nothing, but a little detail I noticed after Gummigoo agrees to go with her is that she asks him for his name (and it’s also the first time we ever hear it in the episode itself) but he doesn’t ask for hers. In fact, he doesn’t call Pomni by name at all in the episode. Which could have an indication of some serious death flags. Again, I could be wrong about this and I’m giving it way more significance than it deserves. Just a stray thought.)

Anyway, Gummigoo gives Pomni the lead to get them both out and it’s telling how little she believes in herself the way she keeps downplaying her own ideas.

Because up until this point, Pomni has felt rather useless. So in her mind, the chances of something going right for once were slim. That’s why when her plan works as intended and manages to save not just herself but her new friend as well, she visibly starts to feel better. She’s actually smiling, she’s a lot friendlier towards Ragatha, and begins to act like living in the Circus might not be so bad.

…yeah…about that.

I think we are all in agreement that Pomni is a girlfailure. And she is, but not in the way we’ve come to understand it.

What I mean is that Pomni fails. A lot. Not because she’s an anxious mess or due to general incompetence, but because the narrative consistently prevents her from winning.

She tried to get Ragatha help -> Caine was nowhere to be found, abstracted Kaufmo was hot on her trail, and the door shows up to entice her to leave.

She goes through the “Exit” door believing it’s the way out -> She wastes an indeterminate amount of time going through countless doorways that lead to nowhere and is told in the end that the “Exit” was never real.

She tried to get Gummigoo to join the Circus -> Caine obliterates him Thanos style.

That is the face of someone who thought she was doing something right for once, and was abruptly proven wrong. God really said “LOL nope” to this poor woman. (I also love how Pomni’s trauma response is laughter, really leans on the whole jester imagery she has)

That she did, and it amounted to nothing. Pretty on brand for her really.

Yeah, it seemed like Pomni was not gonna catch a break. And once again Ragatha immediately tries to undermine what just happened, with Pomni going back to being paralyzed with shock at the utter insanity she had just witnessed. Homegirl is not ok. And she would have stayed that way if not for Ragatha actually being real for once by inviting her to grieve with them.

The ending of this episode truly caught me off guard.

Not poor Gummigoo’s “death”, that I actually expected, but it was still shocking to see.

No. much like Pomni, I wasn’t expecting the others to actually throw Kaufmo a funeral (and apparently this is a custom that they do regularly, which is bittersweet). And I wouldn’t have blamed Pomni for believing that they don’t really care about each other because all of them saw Kaufmo be thrown into the cellar and then the they all proceed to just eat dinner as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

I’ll be frank here, I didn’t get emotional from that scene because of Kaufmo. He never had a speaking part or even an actual on screen appearance; the man had no character outside of telling bad jokes and that had to be given through exposition, so there was no resonance in his “death”. But that is clearly intentional because they didn’t even bother making the other’s eulogies about him be audible. Pomni has never met Kaufmo, she never knew him, so her attending a funeral for someone she had no real connection with is odd.

And that’s because all Pomni needs and by extension what we need to know is to see that he clearly meant something to the characters we HAVE been spending time with. This funeral was less about mourning Kaufmo and more about putting Pomni’s fears to rest that even if she were to abstract, she would not be forgotten. And even more importantly, these people genuinely do care about each other (Jax is still up in the air, but 4/5 ain’t bad). So if anything could make Pomni more comfortable in her new home, it’s the affirmation that she’s not alone (Hence the title of the theme that closes the episode). So abstraction won’t come as easily as she previously thought.

It’s remarkable that the writers managed to make a FUNERAL feel like we were ending on a high note compared to the dread that the ending of the Episode 1 evokes. And I really like that because everything from the gentle music, to the visuals of everyone being sincerely doleful, to Pomni’s small smile at the end really stresses how this show isn’t trying to be nihilistic with its premise. That Pomni, in spite of everything, is going to be ok.

[leonw4nter]

Sharp Teeth and Sandy Woodland

RE2R!Leon x GN!Reader

!! CONTENT WARNING : Graphic description of bones and muscles making unsettling noises. Don't proceed if you're not comfortable with that!

You knew that something was wrong with your fellow Raccoon City survivor Leon Kennedy when he began exhibiting bizarre behaviors shortly after the government discovered both of you, along with a kid named Sherry and a college student around your age range named Claire. He seemed to be more thirsty than usual, his throat and eyes parched more often than not despite the amount of water he consumes daily. The food served at the temporary housing that the government gave you two wasn’t too bad or dry, for you at least. The rookie cop with you, though, disagreed and expressed dislike for certain starchy and grainy dishes.

“What happened to self-proclaimed “Mr. Not A Picky Eater”?,” you jokingly ask after Leon complained about the potatoes making his mouth feel dehydrated. “You were telling me to suck up those bitter herbs but now you can’t even handle potatoes.”

Leon groaned after finishing an entire bottle of water, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Not sure. I could handle potatoes just fine back then. Probably just adjusting to the temperature differences.”

You nod, taking another forkful of the meal as you watch Leon grimace before shoving another spoonful into his mouth. Swallowing looked a little uncomfortable for him so you assume that he must’ve been coming down with a sore throat or some sort of nasal malady.

“You could use a trip to the doctor, I think you’re going to get a cold.”

“Yeah, probably.”

A day or two after that conversation, Leon came home with a normal check-up result. He asked the doctor if he was coming down with an allergy but after doing the RAST and the skin prick test if he somehow developed allergies during his short stay in Raccoon City, the doctor confirmed that he had no allergies, which concerned both the patient and doctor. He didn’t wish to reveal and explain the sudden speedy growth of body hair and the presence of it in places that it has never grown in before, like the back of his hands and lower back. He kept other bodily changes to himself, not wanting to alert you and bring unwanted attention which would cause some complications with the protection and surveillance that the government placed you two under. Sherry would also somehow be dragged into the mess he’d create if they found out about him and that is the last thing he wanted the 12-year-old to experience; she’d been through enough and officials were being odd regarding her custody.

Months later, you would notice that his blue eyes also reflected back light, like an animal’s eyes; you shot up in the middle of the night, rattled and drenched in sweat after another nightmare. In your dazed state, you reached for a flashlight and the nearest thing that qualified as a weapon at that moment– a bedside clock. Your roommate shot up as well, getting on his feet and on high alert when he heard your screech of terror, ready to defend you and himself from any threat in the dark. You pointed the light source to the source of the thudding noise, the bright beam pointed straight towards the blond’s eyes. Due to the angle of the flashlight relative to your perspective, you easily saw the greenish-yellow orbs glow which you confused for a threat and sent the clock in your hand airborne, aimed towards him. Leon cursed, rubbing his shoulder that was hit as he looked back at you to clear the confusion clouding his mind. You turned the lamp on, trying to make sense of everything that has just happened as you sink to the side of the bed and attempt to level your breathing.

“Are you okay?!” Leon springs into action, forgetting the ache in his shoulder as he walks over to help you try to calm down. “Please tell me what you need, you’re safe now.”

Your gaze averts his eyes, not wanting to relive the fear that overwhelmed you by surprise when they glowed in the dark. You shut them, hanging your head low but still paying attention to Leon’s soothing voice and instructions, counting to 10 and raising your arms over your head as you gradually calmed down.

“Nightmare?” He asked in a soft voice full of concern, pity expressed on his weary features. Many times he had also woken up like this, needing consolation from you while he shook and sobbed in your arms.

You nod, suddenly aware of the sweat you accumulated and Leon’s fever-like temperature. The concern you had shifted, going from trying to regain your bearings to the disquietude for his health.

“Oh my God, Leon, you’re burning! Get in bed, I’m going to try and get your fever down.”

“Fever?” the 21-year-old echoed, fogged. “I’m fine? I don’t have a fever, nothing’s wrong with me. Promise.”

“Please just get in the bed,” you gently pleaded as you helped him get up and walked him to his side, pushing the thoughts regarding his eyes aside.

Not wanting to argue, he follows you and lays down like he’s instructed to do. Taking his dampened sleep shirt off, he chucks it to the side and sits up against the headboard, the solid frame cool against his searing skin. You emerge from the bathroom with cold water in a bowl, a towel drenched inside. Your face is also splashed with water, some hairs sticking to your damp forehead. You walk to his side before wringing the water from the towel then placing the towel on his forehead, checking the time and subtracting by your estimated amount of minutes that has passed since he helped you calm down from the panic attack.

“C’mon, I don’t have a fever,” he carefully reasons, yet he continues to stay still. “I’m always warm, you know that. Don’t worry ‘bout me, I’m strong despite being a rookie ya know.” He throws in that cockiness, smirking to get your worry down.

“You’re not just ‘warm’, you’re burning up. Stop whining, I’m going to sleep beside you so I can monitor your temperature.” You say as you get comfortable beside him, maintaining a respectful distance before you can lazily drape your forearm over your eyes and try to get some sleep again. “Oh, yeah. I’m really sorry about your shoulder, I was terrified and I just did what felt like the most logical thing at the moment.”

He chuckles, clearing his throat before he speaks. “It’s fine, been through worse. Sleep well, we’ll need it.”

Exhaustion claims you, lulling you into another slumber but deep down you know it’s only a matter of time until the images of death and decay flash on your shut eyes then it’s time to wake up with your heart rattling against your rib bones, adrenaline pumped through your veins. Sometime in the middle of the night, your body nears his and coddles against his side where you feel his warmth the most. The feeling of hair brushing against his skin causes his consciousness to toe the line between sleep and waking, vaguely aware of your body near himself. His consciousness crosses the border of sleep and into waking, his lids slowly lifted like the red drapes of movie houses. He takes the towel off of his forehead, carefully placing it back inside the bowl you set on his bedside table. His tired gaze falls on your sleeping form, his person overcome by the feeling to tuck you against his body, huddling up, and resting his head against your chest to hear your heartbeat. The feeling is strong, too strong, and at the realization that he’s trying to quell these bothersome impulses, he whines like a desperate dog.

As quickly as the embarrassing vocalization leaves his lips, he wraps a hand around his own mouth as his cheeks burn pink in shame while he sits up and rethinks every single decision he’s made in life. He looks at you, registering the faint sounds of your breath in sync with the slow rise and fall of your chest as you sleep; he wonders if you’ve always breathed that loud, maybe he should ask tomorrow if you’ve got any difficulty breathing so he can accompany you to the doctor to get it checked. Running his calloused palm down the side of his face, he adjusts himself to properly lay down and try to catch some shut eye before he starts to hear the first bird chirp. He can only hope that you didn’t hear him make that canine noise.

The morning after was definitely awkward, not because of your panic attack but because of you seeing Leon’s eyes reflect light and him thinking that you must’ve heard him whine. Breakfast was silent, save for the clanking of silverware against porcelain and him asking if you’d like some slices of his fruit. Well, your silverware since he opted to use plastic utensils because the silverware left itchy red spots on his large palm. You were trying to piece his eyes glowing together but nothing made sense; only animals have the membrane that causes light to bounce back and the membrane also helps with seeing in the dark. Humans don’t have it and it’s impossible for a human to be having one since we can’t just develop one randomly so Leon’s eyes definitely threw you off. His temperature was still unusually high but he didn’t look or act ill, he ate just fine… as fine as drinking 3 bottles of water in a single hour can get for him. Leon avoided eye contact, ashamed of the fact that you probably see him somewhere near a mutt or a sex-crazed freak who can’t hold his urges back. He can try to convince you but he thinks that he’ll look even more creepy and defensive, making your perception of him worse. The blond decides to wait until you say something about it or a future conversation will lead to this specific topic. In the meantime that you don’t seem ready to speak to him yet, he’ll go to a local grocery store and buy some waxing strips. It’s for them, he’ll say if an agent follows him to the local grocer like he expects one to and wants to know the reason for him buying such a product. He can’t have anyone know that this is for himself, to try and rip out the ridiculous amount of hair growing in the dip of his spine because shaving isn’t doing the job anymore. Maybe even find a nail file to try and blunt the equally speedy growth of his nails so he wouldn’t accidentally scratch himself or you or anyone.

The breaking point came for Leon after three months since the first symptom, a month away from his deployment to a bootcamp to begin his specialized training before being assigned to work under USSTRATCOM. He woke up feeling crusty, his joints sore and achy like he’d ran and ran until the sun took the place of the moon and stars in the sky. He was also coming down with a sore throat– no, not a sore throat but the driest, most dehydrated mouth he’s ever had. He had done nothing all day but locked himself in the empty storage room of your apartment with a bag of different cuts of grilled meat, scarfing them down like he’s never eaten in all 21 years of living. Despite the room having a working bulb, he didn’t want to turn it on because he found it too bright and irritating for his sensitive eyes that were more suited in a dark environment like he’s currently in. With each bite, he felt like he was going crazy and was slowly losing himself, becoming more crazed and desperate to start running barefoot.

You had already given him a weird look after he came back from the store with his food, bolting to the storage room and telling you to not disturb him; you had the feeling that he was feeling a lot more than he was letting on but you let him do what he wanted to do but you were ready to step in if he needed something. He let out a yelp and placed his food back in its container, a hand coming up to rub the spot of his cheek that he accidentally bit. He ran his tongue to soothe the area, tasting a metallic tinge as the muscle made contact with the tiny cut. The wound stung more than it usually did on the occasions that he accidentally bit his cheek so he felt for his teeth if they were truly that sharp to be causing him that much pain; his canines and incisors were pointier than he remembered them to be.

He ran a finger along the edges and poked the pointy tips on the pad of his finger, the edges of his teeth less smooth and more serrated; he knows that this change is recent because he always kept his teeth in good condition and made sure to brush and floss daily, keeping his sugar intake to a limit to prevent cavities. Now that he is not eating, he observed that the gums in the base of his canines were slightly sore but not overly bothersome. His mind is going into overdrive, worried that all these bodily changes were the symptoms of another virus strain’s infection. He wanted to turn himself in to the government so he could stop himself before he lost control of his mind and dared to put you, Sherry, and Claire in harm’s way but he also didn’t want to; he was afraid of what they would do to him, what they would do to you since you’re the one living closest to him. He knows the might of the government, what they wish to do with him if he happens to fall on the side of what they viewed as their enemy. They bombed Raccoon City despite knowing that there could still be survivors who haven’t gotten the chance to get out, what more could they do to a possible lycanthrope under their custody?

“Leon? You okay in there?” your voice comes out from the other side, knocking softly with your ear pressed against the wood of the door. “You haven’t gone out in a while and it's dark out. You’re not locked in there, are you?”

His bones begin to bother him again, aching and draining all his energy. He lays on the floor, taking deep breaths so you wouldn’t hear him growl and yell out of pain.

“‘M fine,” he hisses. “Just… go… I-I’m… fine…”

You barely part your ear from the door when you hear the crackle and pop of bones, eyes widening at how loud and spontaneous the crackling was. A borderline animalistic growl follows suit, now accompanying the nasty cacophony of bones sounding like they were being rearranged and clothes ripping.

“Leon!” you exclaim, palm pounding against the door. “I’m gonna get you out! Hold on!”

You run to your room and open the lowest drawer, taking the storage room key and speeding back to the door that separates Leon from you. To and from your room, the nasty blend of grotesque noises don’t halt and neither does the pained growls, hissing, and whining coming from Leon. Thanking the gods for pitying on you and your roommate, the knob isn’t jammed and easily unlocks with a tilt. You expect a scene of gore to unfold, a deep red adorning the white walls like an abstract painting or pieces of pink flesh that contrasts the brown hardwood floor but you are not greeted by any of those yet the sight before you still made you feel whiplash, your heart pumping fast to push liquid fear into your veins and petrify you on the spot; a large wolf that you estimate to be 6 feet long with light brown eyes stares back at you, its body curled away from yours and is backed into a corner by the wall. The wolf’s fur features a sandy brown foundation with patchy highlights of blond, its coat resembling a sun-dappled forest floor. Drool drips from the side of the beast’s mouth, fangs bared towards you.

Underneath the thick and rich coat, you spot Leon’s coat and pants that have been torn to bits, the fabric indiscernible from its former state as clothing. Too terrified to scream, you simply back off and slap a hand around your mouth, tears obscuring the large wolf in front of you as you try not to think and visualize the worst: Leon in mangled bits inside the canine’s stomach. You turn around and leap atop of furniture, getting your phone to call animal control with a shaky hand. You don’t know how the animal got here and how it ate Leon without making a mess of his flesh and bones despite the snacking it did on your unfortunate friend but you’re desperate to get it out and properly grieve. You turn all light switches you pass by on, trying to blind and irritate the wolf’s vision but it beats you to reaching the room, the beast pouncing on you, and pinning you to the cold hardwood floor as nasty drool drips on your collarbone. You try to kick yourself free and push what felt like a hundred pounds of weight from your legs away, screaming and crying but the wolf doesn’t budge and instead, digs its snout in the right side of your neck and inhales deeply. You truly acknowledge keeping wildlife safe, you really do, but all rational thought escapes you and your brain is focused on surviving so you smack the canine on the side of its head, stunning it for a moment before you crawl to safety.

The discordance of bones cracking, loud whining, and claws scratching the floor once again resumes, freezing you in your spot as you watch the sight a few feet away from your legs. Collapsing on its side, the canine’s body shakes violently as it growls and howls. Bones and muscles reorganizing itself poke lightly through the skin, rippling the fur; inky black pupils constrict into tiny black dots, milky chocolate irises shifting to an amber shade and amber changing to hazel before settling on blue shocks you out of your state of being frozen still, finally reaching your phone and contacting the local animal control to come pick the animal up. After coordinating with officials and telling them about Leon, you share your address and hesitantly hang up the phone. The vile noises finally end, silence coming in to fill the soundless gap before the next disturbance, which prompts you to carefully inch your door open, a tiny gap before fully holding it open.

It takes you more than a few moments to properly comprehend the sight before you, rubbing your eyes, and pinching yourself to check if you’re really awake and all this is reality; it is and now a small flushed welt is on your left forearm. Leon is on the ground, butt-naked, and laying in a pile of patchy brown and blond fur, some of it sticking on his sweaty skin. He’s unconscious and very unusually pale, posed in the same way as the wolf was before you called. As for the wolf, the wolf is gone; it didn’t leave trashed furniture and more scratched tiles in its wake when it saw itself out. It just disappeared… or turned into Leon instead… or was it the other way around? You pick Leon up (with much difficulty), placing him on his bed before covering his lower half with a blanket and wiping the sweat from his body. Deciding to check up on his vitals, you shine a light through his eyes and relief joins in the adrenaline coursing through your system when they dilate under bright light and return back to a normal size when you take the light away. His pulse is still heightened but they’re in the normal range otherwise. He’s still unconscious but you swear you can see atypically sharpened canines poke out from pale pink parted lips; drool appears to be dried from the side of his mouth, going down into his jaw, just like the wolf’s.

Sitting by his bedside, trying to calm down as you drink a glass of water to recollect and try to process what just happened, you remember all of Leon’s peculiar behaviors prior to now and it all makes sense that Leon could be the wolf– a constantly dry throat, increased gusto for meat, reflective eyes, abnormal speed of hair and nail growth, added strength, and dislike for things with silver. You call back the animal control’s number, telling them that everything’s okay now and that you were simply seeing things, apologizing profusely for wasting time and effort. Setting the phone down, you gaze down on Leon and enumerate the things you’re going to tell him once he wakes up: ask him if he’s a lycan and what you can do to help him now that his life’s changed. In the meantime, you wonder how Leon will fare in the military bootcamp a month from now if this is going to be a regular occurrence. If he’s the wolf. If you’ll accept that he’s a werewolf. If they’ll find out that he’s a werewolf.

NOTE - YOOOO YA GIRL IS NOW ENROLLED IN A NEW SCHOOL RAHH!!! I've taken another step towards my dream of becoming a doctor but at the same time, I'm still a long ways to go but we got this yk!! That aside, I decided to write a werewolf!Leon fic because I remember coming across a fluffy werewolf!Leon fic on AO3 and I rlly loved it so I had to contribute smn to the werewolf!Leon works (that aren't smutty, which is super few). Requests are still open so feel free to continue to drop them :)) I wanna write something angsty next but then I have another fluffy fic idea in my head so the angst will have to wait >:) Anyways, that's it and thank you for reading my fic!!!!!!!!!!! I <333333333333 UUUUUUUUU AND HAPPY PRIDE TO MY QUEER READERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The star dividers are from @saradika , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[n7punk]

“Slipstream” Fic Notes

Slipstream is done after growing far beyond the “simple hacker fic” concept and honestly Mara’s so cute I can’t even be mad. Fic notes below.

Playlist:

I’ve got the playlist here, but other honorable mentions I listeded to on repeat during this just because I wanted to: The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn’t album by XANA (it dropped in May and that shit is still on repeat), SUCKERPUNCH album by chloe moriondo (for chapter 6), PVRIS’s entire discography (I was going through something).

The Kicker — XANA

Good Luck, Babe! — Chappell Roan

Diet Heartbreak — chloe moriondo

TRAUMA BOND — poutyface

Albi — XANA

Rly Don’t Care — chloe moriondo

Chaos Is Love — K.Flay

Teenage Nightmare [unreleased demo]

What’s My Age Again? — Emilia Ali

Late Bloomer — Allison Ponthier

Holy Revival — Maisie Peters (ignore the verses)

Femininomenon — Chappell Roan

Mercury In Retrograde — Avril Lavigne

NIGHT IN JAIL — Rachel Bochner

my best friend’s ex — emlyn

Even If It Kills Me [unreleased demo]

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl — Chappell Roan

Sirens (feat. Sophie Powers) — MOTHICA

Homewrecking Era — XANA

Obsessed (feat. Ashley Sienna) — Sophie Powers

Obsessed — Astrid S

Look At Her Now — Selena Gomez

Pretty Girls — Renee Rapp

Cruel Summer — Taylor Swift

Picture You — Chappell Roan

Epilogue Life:

It takes a few months for Catra to feel like she has any handle on “parenting” or any right to even think that term about herself when she’s still a newcomer to Mara’s life, but Mara has accepted her at that point, it’s Catra and her own lack of a parental figure that is stopping her. She never would have accepted someone trying to come in and parent her after being so jaded from the first few years of her life (see her  relationship with Adora’s parents in high school), so she’s expecting Mara to be a lot more hesitant and take “convincing”. She wants to give her the time she needs, but Mara had a loving parent growing up and doesn’t see adding Catra to that role as a bad thing.

Mara also has a little kid understanding of the world, so to her the instant Catra and Adora are dating she’s her stepmom, not because it’s that easy, but because obviously dating = will get married, so there is no point “fighting” something that is inevitable. Even though her parents don’t talk to each other, it doesn’t occur to her that people break up under normal circumstances. Her dad has hurt her mom and her a lot, he’s a bad guy, and Catra isn’t that, so why would she ever leave. They’re both girls and gay, they have no need to breakup. Life isn’t that simple, but it does make their relationship transition pretty smooth from Mara’s perspective.

Catra still insists on the stepdad thing and it becomes a family joke. Catra tells Mara it’s because it would be too confusing if they were both mom and Mara accepts that without question, because she is actually right. The reasons for stepdad are multi-layered, like this addition which helps Mara accept it: Mara wants someone good to replace the force of rejection and imbalance her bio dad was, so she’s more than happy to have Catra take that mantle instead. Catra wants to replace him as well, for many reasons including her own selfish hatred of him, but also her own insecurity. She knows she can be a better parent than Falcon, but she doesn’t think she can ever be equal to Adora and thus an equal mom. Adora’s parents weren’t 100% wrong when they mentioned the butch thing either because it is my headcanon Catra is a little GNC at times. Not really anything deep or strong enough for her to identify any particular way, just something that means she wouldn’t mind stepdad or “sir” even without all those other layers. Eventually a lot of those factors stop seeming like such a big deal but at that point it is just a family joke that never really dies. Occasionally once she’s in high school Mara calls her mom, but mostly Catra is “Dad” or “my stepdad” when being referred to singularly, and then when Mara is referring to both her parents she calls them “my moms”. Which does confuse people and Catra finds that funny.

When Mara is in high school and the age Adora and Falcon were when they started dating, Falcon finally tries reaching out again. That was a phone call Adora never wanted to get, but he’s not coming back to the country — he does still have those debts waiting for him, after all, and unable to pay them back, the stress would take him right back to that mental state he fled — and he’s not trying to rejoin their lives, he just kind of wants to know what happened after he left. Adora is angry and tells him he doesn’t have the right to know that after what he did — and she’s right — but later she still regrets it and, after talking to Catra (who also tells her she was right and she shouldn’t call him back and open that door back into their lives for him, but sits by her side when she’s on the phone to support her when she insists on going through with it), she calls him back. She only gives him the very high level stuff: she started dating someone right around when he disappeared, and they’re married now and happy, and she has become Mara’s new stepdad — something Falcon thinks she says as a pointed jab not knowing that’s really what Mara calls her — and Mara is doing well despite Falcon messing up her sense of trust and safety as a little kid, and definitely doesn’t need him fucking with her again by trying to contact her now. Adora makes it clear this is a courtesy she is giving him with the understanding that, now she has volunteered the information, he isn’t going to seek any more out or bother them.

That holds kind of true. He checks in with Adora around high school graduation just to make sure Mara made through it okay — he can’t help but remember around this time he was ruining both their lives — and to see if she plans to go to college, which she does, and then he calls again three years later just to see if she’s still on that track, which she is. He never calls again and Adora never knows if that’s because he moved on, or got closure, or lost their number, or died. Mara knows he called to check in on her once or twice but Adora didn’t tell her until she was an adult because she worried about reintroducing all that old uncertainty and fear back into her life, and at least now no one can force her to see Falcon if she doesn’t want to.

Catra seriously considers hunting him down after he goes dark, but she has done what she can to close the illegal chapter of her life and she knows Adora wouldn’t be happy with her reopening it — especially when she’s a little rusty — for their own closure with him. Catra didn’t exactly succeed in turning over a new leaf overnight, but she did greatly reduced her law-breaking, leaving only little slip-ups that happened every few months until she managed to stretch a gap long enough for it to become permanent, the impulse no longer second nature and her episodes of feeling untouchable either more rare or focused on something other than being unafraid of the government. She does stay in the cybersecurity sector professionally for a long time and works alongside Entrapta several times throughout the years.

I’ve kind of talked about this before and even included it in the concert scene, but Catra and Entrapta do kind of keep  referring to each other as partner occasionally and honestly neither of them are really sure how they mean it. They never formally said “QPR over”, they said “no more physical affection (sex)” and they remained very close, though it felt like it did end more definitively when Catra eventually moved in with Adora. That took her longer to do than it usually does in AUs due to both her happiness/comfort with Entrapta, trying not to “upset” Mara by forcing the change on her, and Catra still needing the ability to get distance from them for the night sometimes while dealing with her own demons, but those slowly disappear as Mara lets her heal her own childhood and she sees she can be a good parental figure with experience.

Chapter 1:

⦁ “Slipstream” was once again a temporary placeholder name that became permanent. It’s a reference to the hacker Slipstream, one of the names behind the Nintendo gigaleak.

⦁ Entrapta’s daily energy drink limit is by no means her daily average, but any day drinking seven energy drinks is a bad one. She doesn’t actually drink Monster every day… Just like 95% of them. And she is a lot more likely to drink 1-3 than 5.

⦁ Okay I’m like half bullshitting the tech speak in this fic. The 20 minute decryption Waffle House thing? Yeah that’s actually optimistic. The kid who hacked the CIA did that exact thing and took 30 minutes to log on and he still eventually got caught.

⦁ Close followers of my Tumblr will already know Adora Maria is reference to some terrible  “wrong” trivia answers to a question about She-ra’s names.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Steps (loosely): 1) Identify absolutely necessary files and save them, 2) Paste contents of other important word/text files into empty cloud documents she can download later (cleaning metadata), 3) Create a new encrypted email on a totally different machine (in this case, Catra’s clean laptop she had with her), 4) Forward absolutely necessary emails to new address (being very selective), 5) Delete what accounts it’s reasonable to just nuke, 6) Completely wipe computer and reset it, 7) Change first the associated email and then the password of all other accounts in a closed environment (Catra’s laptop) and turn on two-factor for absolutely everything that has the option, 8) When all information has been reset, delete old email in closed environment as insurance.

⦁ Adora’s scent changed some with pregnancy and then the rest with lifestyle changes.

⦁ Mara comes out to check on them because Adora told her an old friend from high school was coming over and she wasn’t making the happy sounds she makes with her friends. When she realized Adora was stressed she got worried, doubly so when she said it was grown-up stuff, because that grown-up stuff could be Mara-related — especially since she knows Falcon is causing problems with child support even if Adora tries to keep her from hearing about it too much — which is why Adora invited her out to see it’s really okay.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Originally when I wrote the group chat there was nothing differentiating who was speaking, but I had the idea to use emojis like profile pictures to make it more clear. The scorpio icon was originally head-in-the-clouds (high af emote), the star was originally just a sassy emote, and the dragon changed the same. I ended up changing them because a reader sent an ask letting me know that the emotes wouldn’t translate to epub format and the Scorpio and star “emote” are part of the standard unicode colored symbals, so I’m hoping they’re included, but I also don’t have any way of checking without just uploading the thing so this was my best effort. I kept the dragon even though it’s not included because I was too attached and only one person missing an icon would at least differentiate it from the others still.

⦁ Adora named Mara after her old teacher Mara because she was the only out lesbian she (knew) she had ever met. She was pretty quiet about it to not get harassed by parents, but she wasn’t about to lie about it, and she would talk about Hope when prompted. Adora admired that back in high school thinking she just Respected Her Ideals™️ and later realized it was more than that.

⦁ Catra’s conflicting feelings looking at Mara hugging Adora’s hip are actually less because she’s remembering her father and more remembering she was doing that to feel safe and she doesn’t like to think she’s making a kid feel unsafe too.

⦁ Adora’s habit of rubbing at her tattoo (versus something like the back of her neck) started when it itched a lot while healing. She has terrible tattoo discipline and really shouldn’t get another one because she couldn’t leave it alone.

⦁ You might be able to tell here, but originally Mara was intended to be older (8-ish or something) but I didn’t want them to separate that long. The timeline is already kind of screwy because even with Adora a year older Mara should actually be four with pregnancy time, but shhhhhh.

⦁ Oh my god I wish more people knew the difference between the deep web and the dark web. People act like they’re interchangable when Facebook qualifies as the deep web. Catra is a deep web miscreant, not the dark web.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Perfuma doesn’t know they’re cyber criminals but given the jokes about felonies she can guess that’s the only thing that makes sense, and then she elects not to think any more about it because they’re really important to Scorpia and she wants plausible deniability.

⦁ Obviously Catra hadn’t said Adora’s name yet, but Adora is such an Entity in her mind it feels like everybody should think about her as much as Catra does.

⦁ Perfuma would have to be totally oblivious to not pick up from the conversation that Catra had a crush on Adora in high school, and knowing what she does about Adora’s comphet she just kind of assumes it was the classic “crush on a straight girl” that went nowhere until Catra left school. She’s not about to embarrass Catra by bringing that up to Adora, but if she knew how serious it was and had a hunch how Adora felt she might interfere.

⦁ Table break lore. I wouldn’t say this is a reference so much as a shared headcanon that previously came up allllllllllll the way back in Drawn Into The Music, where Scorpia breaks a table trying to lean on it while drunk because Biceps.

⦁ Mara’s set up is basically what I had as a kid. When we were little we had the “kid computer” which belonged to someone back in the day when it was actually considered a good machine. It didn’t have internet and was just for playing games (which were all offline at that point in time). When we got old enough for the internet we had a  software that only let us browse for like 30 minutes each day and I think had an automatic filter of inappropriate sites? If it did, the site list was very minimal and I never ran into any issues personally, but a software that blocks pornhub isn’t a bad thing for a five year old to have even if I’m generally against online surveillance lmao. It’s not making a list of sites she visited for spying purposes or anything, and generally Adora tries to be in the room with her when she’s online (in-game or not) because you know. Super young. She’s really busy though and sometimes has to rely on the idea that the parents of Mara’s friends are doing the same thing and monitoring them so they can keep safe. That is not always true.

⦁ Adora tousles Mara’s hair and pets her so much because that became one of the ways she knew how to express affection with Catra and now it’s just ingrained as a part of her.

⦁ Semi-related, she and Catra didn’t actually meet until middle school in this ‘verse and had about five years together before Catra’s breakdown.

⦁ Adora’s tattoo is the season one sword in a deep maroon and then the gem in the center of the hilt is the sunset ombre from the lesbian flag. Catra just thought the lines were black because she couldn’t see that shade of red.

⦁ “The breakup” here is code for “uncomfortable sex experience”.

Chapter 5:

⦁ Catra was about to say she doesn’t get on her knees unless a pretty girl asks nicely before her brain caught up with her mouth.

⦁ Adora was absolutely not going to interrupt because she was smitten watching them interact. She never in her wildest dreams thought Catra would do more than tolerate her child at best, but she forgot the factor of her kind of outweighed the factor of child.

⦁ Uhhhh. So. Alright fuck it. Catra was in a mania fit when she broke into the mall. That can come from a couple things and I’ve experienced it once I think, but yeah she really should be on mood stablizers and just refuses to see a professional about it. Once her life stabilized and she essentially had Entrapta as a safety net, knowing she wasn’t going to kick her out if her work lapsed, it made things a lot easier, but her constant vigilance against authorities could just as easily be seen as appropriate vigilance as it is paranoia (primarily socially-unacceptable anxiety).

⦁ Catra doesn’t know how to categorize her emotions outside of bad criteria so any strong emotion gets categorized as “breakdownable” or not but that’s definitely not what she’s feeling here, having emotions just feels like she’s dying.

⦁ Bella Sara supremacy !! 🗣️🗣️I don’t think it was available on the Vita lol but it was in THIS universe.

Chapter 6:

⦁ Catra was, subconsciously, still trying to delay the inevitable of Adora and Entrapta meeting by meeting with Adora and Scorpia downstairs. When they finally came home and it was time, Catra basically tried to get everyone settled in the living room and her own bedroom without “bothering” Entrapta, but she did vaguely greet them when they got home. Their first real conversation was the one in the bed, though.

⦁ Adora is the type of drunk to try to perpetuate her own existence. If you look away from drunk Adora for a second she’s doing another round of shots and trying to get herself hospitalized.

⦁ “Adora shouldn’t be worrying about this” yeah this reaction has nothing to do with cheating, Catra, that’s just all she can do with her jealousy reasonably.

⦁ The Scene (1)

⦁ Belgian Boys mini pancakes my beloved

⦁ Okay so “cheating” per se isn’t so much a thing in their relationship, but by the idea that there are rules and they have an understanding which involves not messing around with other people without notification/permission, then yes cheating is a thing. It would  be shitty for Catra to do anything without letting Entrapta know she intends to, which is the entire point of the fun pass.

Chapter 7:

⦁ Catra didn’t really have a sex addiction or anything she was just really, really lonely, knew people found her hot, and needed reasons to stay at other people’s places, so it ended up as a perfect storm.

⦁ “Put the kid on and let me talk to her” from Catra “I’m just tolerating the kid” Meow Meow.

⦁ Yes I know that “bludgeoning weapon” was not at all correct. But it sounded good, and that’s what writing is sometimes.

⦁ “She tells herself Mara would miss her gifts and then immediately questions why she needs to tell herself anything at all.” Idk Catra I think Mara might miss you as a little more than a gift-giving source. She might be really broken up by you not coming around. (You would also miss her but I’m not even going to pretend you’re open to that idea)

⦁ IDK CATRA MAYBE THE KID WANTED TO BE AROUND AND TRUSTED BY YOU. IDIOT

⦁ The Scene (2)

Chapter 8:

⦁ Turnabout’s fair play and we’ve gone from Adora thinking she can’t stay over to Catra thinking it. These two lesbians just need to accept they’re equally needy.

⦁ “Hoodwinked” agenda !! In all seriousness I haven’t watched it in years so I’m not sure if it holds up, but I loved that movie as a kid and so did my mom. I watched it so many times.

⦁ “Tax-free” is in reference to the final line of the chapter, where Catra has some (minor) dues to pay for how she has lived her life, but it’s nothing more serious than what she has already done, because as awful as she often thinks herself, most of what she did was just surviving under hard circumstances.

Chapter 9:

⦁ Adora has it right with Falcon. To him, he and his girlfriend had sex bad enough for her to realize she was gay (he was not being a good partner for that because he didn’t notice she was uncomfortable, he was just thinking three years together made it about time), he suddenly has a kid at only 19, and his now-ex he was planning to marry can’t even look at him. He already had gambling tendencies and really fell on it with the stress of college and navigating the kid situation, and then everything snowballed because the debt got bad enough he couldn’t make tuition and his stress went even further through the roof when he was forced to just get a job to pay what child support he could, and then he starts getting these threats and at that point completely starting over is looking pretty attractive. Whether or not he was in the right has no effect on how his brain was able to handle it and Mara’s inception turned out mildly traumatic for everyone involved.

⦁ “The fact that Adora is right to have her suspicions is annoying.” That’s a little thing called guilt, kitten.

⦁ I don’t know what my thing with Albuquerque is but whenever I think of someone going into hiding/leaving the country I think of them doing it there. I’m sure it was used in some piece of media I consumed when I was young and that’s where it came from because to my knowledge it’s not an international flights hub.

⦁ Glimmer is one of those people who will drop in the group chat like hey who wants to see a show in two weeks and then just buy tickets for everyone. This was actually arranged months ago, hence the Star siblings not thinking about the timing and having a conflict, and it was before Perfuma and Scorpia even started dating.

⦁ Melendy Britt was a voice actress on the OG cartoon and like a third of the female characters, playing Adora amongst others. She was recently at the MOTU SDCC panel.

⦁ In most ‘verses I think Catra loves music, she just has a specific history in this AU that makes it a weird thing for her because she knows it was robbed of her but can’t try to get into it now because that’s acknowledging everything she has lost.

⦁ The brain development thing is actually a myth and it varies wildly between people, but Adora’s parents are also the kind to sincerely believe you’re only using 10% of your brain at any given time.

Chapter 10:

⦁ When I was initially figuring out what to do with Falcon, I wasn’t really sure what to do with him. I wanted to get him involved in criminal stuff Catra could uncover so he couldn’t be around Mara anymore, but I was also hesitant to do that because Adora’s life is in a precarious place without the child support. I also didn’t want to make him into this caricature of awfulness when he was once Adora’s longterm boyfriend and thus at least seemed decent. Then I remembered Catra has a tech sector paycheck and I could easily just run him off at that point.

⦁ Honestly, now is probably the time to admit that every third time I went to write Falcon’s name I almost wrote Sea Hawk just because they’re so similar, which makes sense since Falcon was invented to be Sea Hawk’s ex, but it was a struggle the whole fic lol.

⦁ Okay, but what did happen with Falcon and the money/threats? Well, Catra had it pretty right: they were sketchy people, and criminals sure, scammers definitely, but they weren’t actually going to send hitmen after him or anything. He was never in any danger. Leaving the country did actually give him a new leaf though and he was a better person with it, managing to build something even though he was still struggling with his gambling addiction. He wasn’t able to keep any kind of savings going as a result but he at least learned not to spend money he didn’t actually have and get in debt. He managed to find a small pension job and get help for his anxiety, which let him at least a small modest life.

⦁ Mrs. Bee is Sweet Bee.

⦁ I meant to have a conversation about swearing they never ended up having. Basically, Adora vaguely tries to censor herself, but things like “oh stars” come naturally to her from her parents, “fuck” just also comes naturally from everyone else in her life lol. Mara knows kind of what swear words are and that they’re “adult words” you need to be older to understand the impact of, so when Catra (or Adora) does inevitably swear in front of the kid, it’s  not much of a big deal. Catra ends up making it out to be a bigger thing in her head and putting more effort into censoring herself (read: any effort) than Adora does or cares. Eventually they do talk about it when Catra takes a bit more of a parental role in Mara’s life and is trying to figure out what that entails.

⦁ There’s this tendency for people talking to kids to refer to their parents as “your mom” rather than like, their name which you would be using in any other context. Catra has had a secret rule — secret even to herself — that she’s going to keep Adora’s name and not do that “your mom” shit. Well, here she is doing that shit, and it’s because she feels a lot less like she needs to distance herself from Mara — and thus the concept of Adora having kids — than she did at first when Mara quite frankly terrified her.

⦁ “I didn’t remember your phone number-” a straight up lie, “-and I wasn’t about to go back home under any conditions to ask your parents what you were up to,” will turn out to be a lie.

Chapter 11:

⦁ “It’ll even look bad on Mara by the time of their next zoo visit.” Oh? Are you planning to be part of that visit, Catra?

⦁ (I am not personally a big fan of bucket hats but there are times when they look really cute — yes even on adults — Catra’s just a hater)

⦁ Catra’s description of how the magicat crowns work is actually how her mask works on her official doll. In the case of the magicat queens, though, the hooks were more like a fallback because the mask was made to be so perfect against their face its weight was distributed over the entire thing and the small hooks just kept it from getting out of place.

⦁ Catra’s freakout is very funny to me because kids will play with literally anyone they like but Catra has so little experience she thinks this is what fatherhood is. Not that she isn’t a Trusted Adult to Mara but most of her “signs” would be there whether or not they were dating.

⦁ “It’s also partially that she isn’t ever going to be a father to anyone, and thus using it has more joking distance that feels marginally more acceptable.” She’s a dad within six months lmao.

⦁ Being a parent doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people, and Catra is one of those, so for most of the fic you don’t really get to see her in “parent mode”, and I do worry where it leaves off some people will see her as not a good step-parent for Mara, but that’s a slow process for her to reach. The fic would have to drag out a lot longer before it could reach  the point where it’s natural for her. For most of the first year she feels like she’s horribly flailing during every interaction with Mara, and that doesn’t change with this chapter, but she does internally accept that this is a role she’s going to have and wants to take  up, so while she still jokes and occasionally slips up, she does love the kid and is doing her best.

Chapter 12:

⦁ I’m basically picturing the Home Alone house for Adora’s parents but I don’t remember it from the movie, I remember it from the LEGO set. So do with that what you will.

⦁ Marlena knows what she’s doing and she’s just trying to feel Catra out because she never would have pictured her becoming a parent in high school, but she also knows, both logically and from her phone calls with Adora, that Catra has grown a lot.

Original Outline:

I actually have my original idea for the fic still written down from a Discord conversation with a friend so here it is in its entirety:

vague idea is catra + entrapta are a hacker duo and they’re a thing. adora's organization is data compromised, forcing catra to get back in contact with her to help her fix it (vaguer idea is adora works for a nonprofit or something. dont hold me to that) like catra independently finds out there's a security vulnerability and is like fuck i have to be a good guy about this Maybe Catra tries to hack them to spy on adora because she misses her and then she gets way too much way too easily.

So yeah obviously a lot changed. Another idea was that Catra had to protect Adora from people trying to get her for… IDK, something Catra uncovered that Adora didn’t even know she knew (or at least didn’t realized was incriminating enough for people to want to cover it up), but I don’t really like writing action lol.

Everything changed because I had been wanting to write a single mom Adora fic too, just didn’t have anything written for it. In the initial version of Slipstream, I had no background for how they drifted apart, and the comphet backstory for the single mom Adora fic slotted nicely into Slipstream’s empty past, so I combined them so I could write both at once, especially because (as evidenced by how little was in the outline) I didn’t have any kind of ongoing plot after they reconnected that I actually wanted to write (again, action ideas are fun, but not for me to write). The new story gave me a lot more avenues to explore relationship dynamics as a big element for all the characters, and thus gave the QPR more relevance and let me portray something I think is kind of rare. Entrapta’s relationship with relationships in this fic is really personal to me and it kind of stuck out as a little out of place in the old idea, but in this version of the fic it works into the overall themes of relationships, self-denial, and accepting that what satisfies you isn’t necessarily the thing that will make you happiest and that’s worth whatever risks are associated with it.

I want back and forth on the club chapter and the following revolving around a few points: should they actually kiss in the club or just come close, should they kiss in the kitchen, and should they get evolved enough in that kiss for Adora’s hand to reach Catra’s tail. I kind of knew the latter would be too far, but ultimately decided the first two were permissible within their rules.

Meta:

Adora’s floorplan

Upcoming:

Next up will be an OotW oneshot. I’m also working on the Lightbeam sequel fic, and lowkey another AU I’ve been teasing, but I don’t think I'll have time for them before Sapphic September starts and I chip away at some of those prompts, so we'll see what’s going to shove to the forefront first, so stay tuned IG lol

[halsaph]

alright whats this artdrone killbot thing

hi. You will regret asking this

The Murderbot Diaries is a series of books about a human-bot construct that was designed to essentially exist as an enslaved security guard / piece of sentient spyware. It's like if Alexa had half a human brain and a gun. We're introduced to Murderbot (the murder alexa) roughly 3 years after it's hacked the piece of hardware in it's brain that forces it to obey commands. In those 3 years it hasn't changed much about it's life except now while working as a subhuman slave it watches tv when no one is paying attention. As a series TMBD largely is about themes of personhood and discovering yourself when you have largely spent your life being denied the right to a sense of self. They also don't shy away from addressing the trauma that Murderbot has experienced from having it's autonomy stripped of it for most of it's life, with the second novella and most recent novel most heavily featuring that as an element. (Although that is a core aspect of Murderbot's character that informs its decisions throughout the entire series).

Murderbot as a character is bitingly sarcastic and witty, deeply paranoid and ultimately filled with the constant low level anxiety it doesn't know what it's doing (not necessarily moment by moment but overall, with it's freedom, with it's life). It's an excellent unreliable narrator because it only tells you exactly what it thinks is important in a scenario, relationships between other characters, physical features of itself and the people around it, it's own emotions and reactions often being completely brushed over with only occasional clues, and often outright misinterpreting people's actions, most often it's own. It has this ever present self loathing in the first several books where it constantly explains it's actions away in the least charitable interpretation possible even though we see time and time again that at it's core it deeply wants to help and protect the people around it. And we see over the course of the books as it starts learning how to make choices for itself and interacting with people who treat it with respect and develops a support system as it starts to move away from that mindset (with the exception of the most recent book but to be fair to MB System Collapse is about it being forced to confront it's PTSD and it's backsliding alot from recently being thrown back into a situation from its worst nightmares). I said before its a human-bot construct to explain that it isn't purely an inorganic being but Murderbot is a deeply inhuman character and openly has no desire to be human, and it's perspective as something that is made to be a security system and enmesh into both digital and hardwired surveillance is fascinating to read. As you know I deeply deeply love robots, they're my favorite kind of 'inhuman but still a Person' kind of character and Murderbot perfectly strikes the balance between a starkly in human way of thinking and deeply relatable emotions that draws me to robots as a whole, especially as an autistic person (and Murderbot was intentionally written with autistic traits but in a subversion of the typical ableist depiction of autistic robots so that EXTRA rings true lmao)

seeing as you mentioned it I will also explain ART as a character, ART is one of the reoccurring characters in the series (the first 3 novellas all have completely different casts outside of Murderbot itself as it hops from place to place trying to decide what it wants and who it is before in the fourth novella and beyond bringing back in previous characters and having them start to overlap throughout the rest of the series). It was introduced in the second book and is arguably the character that has the greatest impact on Murderbot as a person although I say arguably bc I would personally still say that's Mensah. Unarguably tho it is one of the most important people in Murderbot's life and has been described multiple times now by the author as the love of its life (although not necessarily in a romantic sense as Murderbot is both within text and confirmed via word of god acearo). ART (Asshole Research Transport) also known as the Perihelion (although not until the 5th book/first novel bc Murderbot doesn't bother to tell tell the readers its name until then, instead deciding its a dick so its gonna exclusively call it by an insult) is a spaceship's pilot AI, made to be sentient instead of the usual smart GPS as an experiment by the university is was made by. It was raised like a child by a pair of scientists who are now part of its crew (along with its sibling Iris) and now is a teaching vessel for students learning about deep space and also anticorporate espionage worker (don't worry about it). It's a giant pushy asshole unless you're a child (the only character we've ever seen it meet on screen it didn't in some way immediately threaten was a 16 yo). It can't watch tv without having to pause at the suspenseful bits to calm down. We're introduced to it by it threatening to melt Murderbot's mind and then pouting when it's scared shitless. It then a month later asks to do surgery on it. It fully intends to blow up a planet to get Murderbot back from a group of colonists that captured it until someone talks it out of it because that isn't effective hostage negotiation.

[gilly-moon]

"Telling them about their kinks" blackice prompt please?

I think nice lingerie or a collar would fit Jack (for some people being collared can actually bring comfort and it's not sexual). Also, being blindfolded with your partner show so much vulnerability and trust it makes my heart weak 🥺

I missed writing from Pitch's perspective, but I loved the idea of Jack being blindfolded ♡ (also collar & lingerie is *chef kiss* I'm holding onto those ideas for future use lol)

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

When Jack came to him breathless and shaking, the last place Pitch expected for them to end up was in his bed.

The frost spirit had nearly crashed into him, staff clattering to the stone floor of the cavern as Pitch readjusted his stance to keep from falling over. Arms winding around that slight, freezing body, Pitch held the boy aloft and stroked soothing fingers into his hair. From the way he was trembling, Pitch half expected to feel tears against his neck where Jack had buried his face, but there was only a shaky stream of breaths cooling his skin.

“What’s happened?” he asked in a soft tone, already planning out a nightmare for whoever had left Jack in such a state.

“It’s nothing,” Jack replied - a lie so entirely unconvincing that it wasn’t worth either of their time to point it out. Fingers curling into the fabric of Pitch’s robe, his voice cracked slightly as he spoke. “Remember that thing we talked about last time?”

Hand pausing where it had been stroking down Jack’s spine, Pitch stared blankly at the frost-tinged staff where it lay a few feet away. They’d met a week ago, and the youngest Guardian had seemed tense then, too. He hadn’t said why, only asked to be at Pitch’s side for a few hours. It was a typical request of him, each of them drawn to the other by their shared loneliness and a need to be seen, but the unusual mood he was in led their conversation to more intimate topics. Only after a significant amount of reassurances had Jack eventually opened up about his desires, but he’d vanished back to the skies before things had the chance to progress. Pitch had spent the last week trying to control his disappointment, but he was wary of the opportunity hinted at in Jack’s words when he seemed so unsettled.

“Is that really what you need right now?”

“Yes,” Jack hissed into his shoulder.

And if Pitch were a better man, he might step back and give in to his own hesitation. He’d do things the right way, rather than indulging an impulsive need from a clearly emotionally compromised frost spirit. But who was he to deny Jack when he clung to him so desperately?

So Pitch found himself stepping into a shadow, bypassing the long walk to his bedroom. Prying the arms from around his neck, he dropped the boy onto black silk sheets and wasted no time in flipping him onto his front, ignoring the soft grunt as a hand pressed between his shoulderblades to keep him in place.

“You phrased it so sweetly last time we spoke,” Pitch murmured, admiring the sight of tousled white hair and pale, clutching hands against the utter darkness of his bed. The delicious fear of wanting was practically radiating off that slight figure. “Will you say it again for me, Jack?”

Turning his head aside to gasp in a breath, Jack gripped the silky fabric below him in two tight fists. His eyes were squeezed shut, tongue darting over pink lips. He seemed to struggle with the words, until Pitch was lowering himself down, using the weight of his own body to pin Jack down. The answer was exhaled on a breath that didn’t shake at all.

“Control me,” Jack whispered. “Take…all of my senses. I want them to be yours.”

A note of pure pleasure rumbled through Pitch’s chest and along Jack’s spine. Frost appeared in curls and spirals between Jack’s fingers, crackling over the sheets.

“Very good, Jack,” Pitch purred, placing a kiss among soft spikes of hair before lifting himself up.

His hands worked in smooth motions, reaching for Jack’s fingers to loosen their grip. Wrists thin enough for him to snap were gathered up at the dip in the smaller spirit’s back, bonds of shadow coiling around them and along his forearms. Pitch rolled him over carefully, letting a hand linger on a thigh while the other slipped beneath the hoodie, dragging up Jack’s shuddering torso until it rested over his heart. Bracing a knee at the edge of the bed, Pitch leaned up so they were face to face.

Eyes still held determinedly shut, Jack was still panting unevenly, but for an entirely different reason now. As Pitch brushed his lips over that sharp jawline, he could taste snow and evergreens and fear. Placing kisses up Jack’s flushed cheek and against dark eyelashes, Pitch basked in how eagerly the body beneath him surrendered to his touch.

“Look at me.”

Jack tensed from the order, eyes shifting in agitation beneath his eyelids. When Pitch’s nails dug dangerously into his chest, he sucked in a sharp breath and slowly, slowly revealed those stunning, glacial blue irises. They were watery with unshed tears, and Pitch found himself thinking how beautiful they looked like this, right on the cusp of overflowing with emotion.

“So perfect for me,” he murmured, cupping a hand against Jack’s cheek. A single tear escaped from those pools of sapphire, and his thumb swiped out to catch it.

Removing the hand from Jack’s chest, Pitch drew forth a strip of shadow and slipped it over those eyes that had been offered to him, hiding them away from the world. Like this, Jack could hardly move, couldn’t see, even if he wanted to. When Pitch’s thumb dropped to stroke his lips, they parted obediently.

The less control Jack was allowed, the more he unraveled beneath Pitch’s hands. He had left himself so vulnerable like this, had placed an inordinate amount of trust into the hands of a man who had been his enemy once. It woke something dark and hungry in the ancient spirit’s gut, accompanied by a painful warmth blooming in his chest.

“Give me everything,” he whispered, blanketing himself over the frost spirit until they disappeared together into the darkness.

[whosthere54]

Prison duo playlist analysis day 7 - Brutus by The Buttress

YES I FINALLY GET TO YELL ABOUT THIS SONG! ME WHEN!

This is mostly gonna be me yelling about the season two prison arc and also probably corruption because wow I’m so normal about that specifically. From Icarus’s perspective mostly is what I’ve thought this through same as most things- though it could be corruption arc Centross too.

Starting off strong with

“I’ve been watching him for my entire life. I hate the air he breathes, his foolish decrees his words so contrived.”

They have known him throughout the first reset that they remember at that point- that being the only thing they remember from their life. They hate him- especially after they remember. They were fine around him before but when they remember their put straight back into the mindset the held during corruption and they hold so so much anger and resentment towards him. They don’t believe a word he says, he broke their trust no matter how little of it was real in the fist place. Why would he tell the truth now? They don’t believe him when he try’s to tell them Rae is sick- because their so sure that Rae would tell them even when they hadn’t fully earned that trust back yet because why would he tell the person who tried to kill everybody here over them?

“And I hate the way the townspeople gather outside. They cling on to every breath, cling to his chest. Home to his heart full of pride.”

Most people of not everyone have met Centross at this point- and most like him. Find him easy to hang out with or are just indifferent to him being there. Rae trusts him more than others, and if Centross said something most would probably believe him especially Rae at this point. Would people believe Icarus? Who’s to say- especially if Jamie and Athena remember. Athena I think trusts Centross more than Icarus with that memory. Easton I don’t know about- I think he would be able to tell if they were lying- but I don’t think he’d trust them so easily.

“The Oracle told him beware the Ides. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t wishing for untimely death or demise”

Mmmm. See if this was s3 “The Oracle told him beware the Ides” would be a great line.

I don’t remember off the top of my head if anyone except Centross himself was worried about visiting Icarus- so I can’t make the best connection here.

They would be wishing for his death- not exactly knowingly but they don’t want his here. They don’t want him to be around to hurt anyone anymore and the easiest way to do that would be for him to die. They don’t immediately want to do it themself- but they would be lying if they didn’t wish something would happen to him for what he’d done to the people they cared about- as well as what he’d done to them as much as they try to make it about everyone else.

“Or am I just wishing I could be like you? That the people would see me too as a poet, and not just the muse.”

THIS ONE. THIS IS WHY I SAY SEASON 2.

They wished they were like him in many ways in season one- he was Enderian’s favorite. Her speaker, her first choice. She talked to him the most. They wish NIW that they got the same level of trust and support from others he is getting, wishing they could walk around and not have to pretend they don’t notice the shifting feet and fearful glances when they talk to someone, pretend they don’t notice when Rae talks to them different after maybe a nightmare or something else that reminded him of them then. They wish it was like Centross- where he walks around freely and can gain the trust back of the other people on the server. What they don’t know is how he worked for it- he built that trust back and they haven’t taken the steps to do that yet.

“Oh it’s not true, I don’t wish harm upon you. From birth we’ve been like brothers of different mothers. Within the spirit of the same womb”

Even if they hate each other- they probably understand each other the most out of many of the characters on Fable. They’ve had experiences together through corruption and then have probably seen each other at their most vulnerable in both prison arcs- stretching into season 3 where there’s more trust and vulnerability for it to actually be a healthy exchange.

“May the gods strike me down if I forsake you. Frater meus, you’re beautifully made. And to you I’m forever grateful.”

Mmm. Me when. They didn’t want to hurt him at first- they just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

He taught them a lot though season 1- I think. Just in their mental state really- even if it wasn’t a healthy environment they learned a lot about themself and what they were capable of specifically due to his help. He was part of the people who enabled them to do what they did- even if it was a bad thing. That turns into him enabling and helping them heal and do good later in season 2 and in season 3.

“You’re beautifully made” is a line for sure. Mhm.

“I’ll never forget that you showed me to make art. And I know the love you showered me came from a pure and noble heart. I love you, and if you want I’ll call you king. But why do I lay awake at night thinking instead of you it should be me?”

I don’t want to repeat myself- but same things as I said above he taught them a lot, as well as their respect for him vs their returned lingering hatred and resentment toward him wanting to be in the place he had been from season 1.

“something wicked this way comes. And as I’m set to face it, I’m unsure, should I embrace it? Should I run? What motivates me? Hatred? Is it love? What’s more wrong; that I too wish to be great, or my mother wished she’d had a son?”

Agh- me when. What’s more wrong; that I too wish to be great, or my mother wished she’d had a son?

Tell me that’s not so Icarus coded. Or my mother wished she’d had a son- because- was Icarus ever rally her son? She was their mother, yes, but Icarus was always Creations child. Always in fables shadow, his mini me, his perfect golden child that would do whatever he say. They looked like him too- the spitting image of their father taking on his temperament too.

Skipping a bit because- I’m so normal about this part-

“My name is Brutus and my name means heavy. So with a heavy heart, I’ll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy. My whole life you were a teacher and friend to me. Please know that my actions are not motivated only by envy. I, too, have a destiny. This death will be art. The people will speak of this from near and afar. This event will be history, and I’ll be great too. I don’t want what you have- I want to be you!”

Oh me when they nearly kill Centross. I’m so incredibly normal. About that in particular.

“Please know that my actions are not motivated only by envy”

They didn’t just do this for what he’d done to them- at-least that’s what they tell themself- they do it to protect their family. The only people they care about that he hurt. Their actions are not only motivated by their care for what happened to them, but for what happened to the grove.

“I don’t want what you have- I want to be you!”

Now- contradictory to my last statement- this is about them. About the lingering mindset of corruption that has them in the same place of envy and anger and want that they were stuck in before. They want to be him now- wanting the respect of others like he had, wanting people to care about them in the same way- trust them and believe them the same way they do him. They want it to be easy- to not have to be looked at like they’re crazy or with pitiful gazes lines with fear and panic when the people they love look at them like they’re a monster.

“I always knew I could be the one. Though I feel the endless pain of being, and I am scorched by the sun. Of humble origins and born of the cursed sex. My name is Brutus but the people will call me Rex”

NOW THIS IS THE LINE IF BEEN THINKING ABOUT ALL DAY-

“My name is Brutus but the people will call me Rex”

They don’t know their name at this point so I am not going to say it here- but- “My name is Sherbert but the people will call me Creation(Creation’s child)” BECAUSE HEAR ME OUT- Fable was a military guy, he probably taught them a lot about war strategy as a child of them sitting in the war room as a little kid is anything to go by- and he’s a killer though they don’t know that yet. Following in their fathers footsteps, they’ll hurt the people they care about the most when trying to do something they deem as good for the people. Good for a kingdom, or good for the grove. And then end up with angry looks and sharp words that they didn’t want- that they did this to try and *avoid*

Just- me when they’re called Creation’s child and they follow so closely in his footsteps that sometimes it almost makes the lines blur between the two- even just in their tone of speech. Their tone of speech during the S2 arc and also the corruption arc nearly recreated Fables sharp and angry tones he speaks in and I just. Mm. This is all I’ve been thinking about right now.

That’s all I’ll say- I’ll cut myself off here but I have so many thoughts about this and the season 2 prison arc specifically- hence my whole playlist… it’s fine- I’m normal guys totally.

Anyways!

The image chosen from my prison duo Pinterest board today is-

I’ll leave it at that.

You are loved! Go take any meds if you need to and Go eat and drink water if you haven’t already today <3

Have a good rest of your day/night :]

[pfffsfic]

Post-Fall Falls False Starts- Chapter 7: The Encounter

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Sarah's story had included- among many, many other things- a detailed physical description of the demon in question. Rob hadn't exactly been lucid for that, and he certainly wasn't entirely lucid now, so the information was locked behind two invisible mental walls that he wouldn't have been able to break even if he had known the information he needed was beyond them.

"I'm Rob," he said with trepidation.

"Rob, huh?" said the triangle. "I'm Bill."

"Bill?"

Rob's eye didn't meet Bill's directly, instead gazing absently at the demon's bow tie, then his hat… and then the mental walls crumbled in turn, first with a faint memory of the outfit Sarah had been wearing earlier and second with a surprisingly robust memory of a previously-forgotten section of the monologue for which he had zoned out. His retreat into memory was abruptly broken up by Bill snapping loudly in his face a few times.

"Sheesh! It takes a special kind of foggy head to zone out in the dreamscape, and I don't mean that as a compliment!"

"Bill Cipher?" Rob asked.

The demon's 'face' contorted for just a second into a red one of seething rage and confusion that faded just as quickly as it had arrived.

"So you know the name. I'm honored, really." He didn't sound honored. "How much else do you know, kid?"

"I know you're a demon."

"By some definitions! And?"

"And…"

The aid his newfound memory granted him quickly reached the end of its usefulness. Either Sarah hadn't brought up anything about Bill's personality or Rob had been so lost for that portion of it that he couldn't salvage the information.

"You're a demon, you show up in dreams, and you can be summoned. …That's it."

"Excellent!" For the first time in the conversation, Bill sounded like he meant it. "Tell me, do you do a lot of traveling?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I haven't left my dimension in ages. Work-related concerns, and all that. I'm trying to live vicariously through you- is that so wrong?"

"Uh…"

"Let me tell you, the Nightmare Realm may be a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there!"

"The Nightmare Realm?"

"Either you're stupid or you're playing stupid," Bill sighed, "One's hilarious, the other not so much. C'mon, make me laugh, would you?"

They shared a tense gaze, and then Bill let out the world's least sincere laugh, giving Rob's the world's least sincere friendly shoulder pat by stretching out his arm.

"Lighten up, kid! I'm messing with you! You know, you're kind of a wet blanket. Squishy, full of water, and unresponsive when it comes to banter." As if to prove his point, Bill poked Rob in the cheek and discovered with a shiver that it was not, in fact, squishy. "Well, at least those last two."

"Oh, excuse me if I'm not suddenly chummy with you, okay? We just met for the first time one minute ago!"

"On the contrary!"

Bill's arm snapped back to its usual length and his body glowed with a series of rapid-fire images that Rob recognized from his dreams over the past week- the flashing colors of his hallucinatory episode after eating that mushroom, the nondescript classroom from his test nightmare, a few other half-remembered bursts of fantasy. Then, for a few seconds, before shifting back into its original yellow hue, it displayed the current scene in real-time from Bill's perspective, almost like looking into a mirror.

"I've been trying to get to you, kid! But every time I have an opening, you either stop dreaming or you wake up! If I didn't know any better-" his eye narrowed- "I'd think you were doing it on purpose."

"I wasn't doing it on purpose, man."

"Say what you want. Look, I'll drop the pretense. I'm gonna get into your mind one way or another, and then it won't matter if you play stupid, because I'll be able to see everything you aren't telling me."

"Aren't we in my mind right now?"

"Ha! We're in your dreams right now. The meat of your mind is elsewhere, both literally and metaphorically! This is basic stuff. Humans, am I right? Uh, 'scuse me, force of habit. Whatever-it-is-that-you are's, am I right?"

"Cyclopes."

"Cyclopes aren't made of untextured polygons and TV static, and they definitely don't dream. Those guys are dumber than a bag of teeth. Having one eye doesn't make you a cyclops, otherwise me, you, and the eye bats would all be on the same level!"

"Eye bats?"

"Point is, we're not on the same level, and you aren't a cyclops."

"I think I would know what I am."

"Trust me, I thought so, too. You're a real edge case."

"If you're so good with this stuff, what would you say I am if not a cyclops?"

"Hmmm."

Bill floated around him in a lazy circle, bringing to mind a pack of hungry wolves.

"Welp," said Bill, "I guess I'll find out when you're at your lowest! If you think I can't see through your game, it's gonna be all that much funnier when I get the upper hand!"

"My game? What on Earth are you talking about?"

"I'll be watching," snapped Bill, vanishing on a bitter note and taking the environment along with him.

"At least Sarah will be happy about this," Rob thought before his lucidity gave way to unconsciousness.

-

"WHAT?"

Sarah grabbed his shoulders and shook. Hard. When Rob had cheerfully broken the news to a drowsy Sarah, he had anticipated many possible reactions, this not among them.

"He visited YOU before ME? That's so not fair!"

She let go of him and flopped down onto an invisible fainting couch with a dramatic flourish and an even more dramatic sigh. Her eyes glimmered with an insincere sort of wetness, akin to the tears of a fairy tale princess upset about being simply too pretty and rich to relate to the common folk. Maybe she was happy in her own special way- she just didn't want Rob to know it.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm over it," she said without even a hint of the earlier negativity. "What did he say to you?"

"Just a bunch of cryptic stuff I couldn't make heads or tails of. I think he thought I was trying to manipulate him."

"And were you?"

"No!"

"It would have been really cool if you were."

"He caught me off-guard, alright?"

"Too late now. Okay, okay, so! Could you tell me everything you remember about what he said? We're gonna get to the bottom of this."

"I remember the first words out of his mouth- or, uh, his eye, I guess- were, 'who the heck are you'?"

"Interesting. Did it seem like a genuine who-are-you or an I-know-who-you-are who-are-you?"

"Genuine, I think."

"Interesting. Very interesting. He doesn't know who you are? That has some iiiinteresting implications."

"I told him my name- was I not supposed to do that?"

"First name or full name?"

"First name only."

Rob had gotten a surname for himself- Wrecker- a while back during a period of time he disliked thinking about. It was the only legal surname he'd ever had as far as he could remember (with the exception of the fake identity he'd invented to run for the school board), but it felt like a pseudonym even so. Perhaps, he thought, that was because his arch-nemesis had come up with it. If he had to pick his own evil moniker, what would it be? Would the word 'evil' with a few tweaks to the pronunciation really still cut it? Sure, he might stoop that low for someone else's name, but his own?

"I don't think he gets power over you if he has your name. That's fairies. But hey! There's a lot I don't know about him."

"I'm surprised there's anything you don't know about him."

"Well, two seasons can only tell you so much. That's why I'm here- to pick his mind and get some answers!"

"I don't think he seems like the sort of person who would be an open book about that kind of thing, but I guess you know him better than me."

"Oh, trust me, I have my ways of getting through to him. I'm like a therapist- I can get people to freak out and unintentionally say things that reveal their deepest, darkest secrets!"

"I don't think that's what therapists do."

"Well, it's what I do. Call it serapy."

"Like Sarah plus therapy?"

"Like stalking- I mean, supervision- plus therapy! Secrets beget more secrets. If they can't hide from you, they won't want to try and hide from you, and they'll tell you anything to get you to keep quiet! But Sarah plus therapy is good too."

"Sounds like blackmail."

"By some definitions."

"By all definitions!"

"Maybe so, maybe so. But blackmail makes it sound so serious!"

"Like how 'stalking' sounds so serious?"

"Don't tell me you've never done that to your nemeses."

"I spy on my nemeses. It's a villain thing- it's different. And less creepy."

"What's the difference?"

"The- the- the principle of the thing! The motivation! Hate is different from love. Have you ever hated anybody? Like really hated them?"

"I-"

"No, you haven't. I can tell from the innocence in your eyes."

"Innocence? Oh, trust me, there's no innocence here."

She leaned in with one eye to his and grinned like a serial killer in a horror movie, letting out her best creepy giggle- a laugh that sent chills down Rob's spine against his will.

"Point made. But-! it's still a different thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Whatever you say, Rich."

She patted him on the head. He didn't comment on that last thing- he was over that- he would not let it get to him- he knew better-

"It's Rob," he muttered.

"I know," she replied.

-

Against Rob's wishes, Sarah had gone and fetched more of the white mushrooms to roast them over the fire for breakfast. It took a few hours of Sarah swearing up and down that she wasn't hallucinating even a little bit before Rob finally decided eating one was worth the risk, and even then, he took small bites at twenty-minute intervals just in case. Their interactions were short, sweet, and heavy on the back-and-forth, and when one ended there would be a long period of peaceful silence before the next one started up. By the end of the day he had recounted his entire meeting with Bill to an inquisitive Sarah. Much to his appreciation (and annoyance), she was a much better listener than he was.

Rob's meeting with Bill had been heavily recontextualized by the information he learned. For one thing, Bill was a villain ('What?' he had asked. 'Why do you care? You're a villain too, aren't you?' she had replied), he lived in a decaying world called the Nightmare Realm that, much like the dimension Rob himself had once been trapped in, acted as a depository for forgotten things, he was a conman who made what Sarah called 'typical demony deals', he knew a lot of things (but not who Rob was, a fact that Sarah suspected bothered him), and he had a big and enthusiastic fanbase. That last one was less so useful info about Bill and moreso useful info about Sarah. It had also come up that eye bats were essentially eyeballs with wings (Sarah described them as 'the sort of demon that would appear on William's hypothetical shoulder if he needed to make a tough moral decision) and that Bill could see through images of his likeness and also trees- definitely birch trees, but, since there were no birch trees in the clearing, Sarah mentioned that she hoped his powers extended to other sorts of trees with holes as well. Rob plugged every tree hole in the clearing with dirt just in case. Sarah let him, but carved a little eye of providence into the bark of a nearby evergreen, apparently rendering his work irrelevant.

They discussed how one sasquatch could feed them for days, and then how to kill a sasquatch, and then how one giant ice cream cone could also feed them for days, and then the conversation topic shifted to if Rob was edible or not. He insisted he was no longer organic. She insisted they would have to try, to know for sure. Rob threatened her with the crowbar and said, 'You'll scream before I scream'. She laughed- hopefully at the quip and not because his failure to intimidate was funny.

Their final topic of the night was how that human had reacted to seeing Rob.

"It could just have been a weird little gag," said Sarah. "Somehow I doubt everybody you meet is gonna react the same way. That'd be boring, you know? But if you want to test it out I have an idea."

"An idea?"

"Yeah! I want you to go into town and try to steal a TV and a generator!"

"What, you wanna watch TV here?" Rob sat up, wide-eyed. He had been thinking about doing the exact same thing! He had wanted to determine if his own universe existed as fiction within this one. Could Sarah really have come to that same conclusion? "Why?"

"I have a DVD on me that could help us survive here."

"Like a wilderness survival show, or something?"

"Not exactly. I was honestly gonna keep it a secret, but now you know everything else and we're kind of living together like an old married couple, by which I mean we sort of hate each other but there's also love there-"

"No there's not."

"Friendship, then."

Rob sighed. Maybe there was friendship there. How long had it been since he had a friend? Was this really friendship if it was born of necessity? Did they need each other? He had survived fine the first week on his own, save for that time with the mushrooms.

"I'll go into town tomorrow. We'll see if I can steal one for you."

"You are the best. Thanks so much."

"Don't thank me! I have secret ulterior motives."

"Oooh, tell me about them."

"They're a secret," he said, and then he closed his eye and pretended to be asleep.

[threewaysdivided]

The Shaper of Minds and its possible consequences for a certain character

I have finally joined the rest of the internet in losing my mind over a D&D Podcast - in my case, the wonderful Dan Jones & Dragons.  With Episode 26 due to stream on Dan’s Twitch this week, I really want to talk about some of the stuff that came up across the just-finished Gala sessions because the fallout from that has the potential to be incredibly fraught.

THE SHAPER OF MINDS

The relic the Flower Crowns were going after this mission – The Shaper of Minds – is a potentially fascinating narrative device that might as well have been lab-engineered to be my exact brand of personal nightmare fuel.   It’s a small, ornate brass key that can alter any part of the target’s mental faculties/thoughts/memories at will should the wielder touch it to any part of their victim’s skin.

Now, on one hand, there are a heap of interesting (and even benevolent) applications for a tool like that.  It could instantly grant access to skills, languages and knowledge that would otherwise take a person years of study to learn.  It could be used to sort through and resolve memories that had been faded by time, muddied by trauma or forcibly supressed by magical/medical means.  But on the other…

As described and used in campaign so far, the primary function of the Mindshaper is to alter memories (and the attendant personality) with the target having no awareness that their mind has been changed.  It’s basically gaslighting on steroids, except that where a gaslighting victim still retains their original recollection – and has to be manipulated by their abuser into doubting their own perceptions and instead accepting the alternate telling of events (a cognitive dissonance that can eventually lead the person to recognise the manipulation) – the Shaper of Minds entirely replaces the original recollection of events with the version the wielder wants their victim to perceive.  There is no internal conflict between accounts, no inconsistencies that could alert the victim that someone has broken into their head and rewritten their perceived reality.  The person they reshape you to be is the person you believe you always were.  And all it takes is a single touch.

That is a brand of existential horror that had me on edge all throughout Session 24 (basically from the moment it was implied the key was in play).   Reality may be objective, but each individual person’s internal reality is governed by their perception – their memories – of the events in their life, no matter how incomplete, biased or otherwise skewed that personal perspective may have been.  You have value just by being you because you are not replaceable, but the thing that makes you unique is, in large part, the sum total of those inimitably specific personal memories.  No-one else will perceive the world in exactly the same way you do, and even a few minor changes to just a few of those perceptions can flow on to massive differences in ideals, values, priorities and future choices.  In that regard, the use of the Mindshaper Key isn’t so much an alteration as an obliteration of the victim’s former self and replacement with someone new; even if that new stranger is largely indistinguishable from the original.  And, again, all it takes is a single touch.

[Sidenote:  This made Mister Wick an especially effective antagonist to wield the key, since his Galas functionally trap even targets who are aware of the threat within the rules of high-society behavioural expectations.  Otherwise-innocuous actions like a handshake or private conversation suddenly become incredibly dangerous, while being nigh-impossible for the Flower Crowns to extract themselves from without committing an atrocious faux pas and potentially tipping Wick off.  Perfectly designed stage for a psychological horror-thriller encounter.]

Which of course, brings us to a certain character who fell victim to the key in Episode 24…  [put under the cut for spoiler reasons]

MORENTHAL

This poor Drow, he can never catch a break…

Morenthal may not have been the most mechanically dangerous party member to fall victim to Mister Wick’s manipulations although, given that the key was revealed to let its wielder read existing memories during the alteration, and that all of the Flower Crowns were fully briefed on the locations and nature of the Eversteel artefacts, him getting a hand on any of them could have been very bad plot-wise but from a character point of view I think he’s the one who the key’s effects had the potential to be most personally devastating for.

The way things ended up playing out across Session 25 was precisely the nightmare scenario Gamb was fretting about out of game: Mister Wick forcibly implanted Morenthal’s mind with false memories of being his lifelong trusted confidant and supporter, then – before the Flower Crowns could reverse the key’s effect – Morenthal discovered that Mister Wick had been killed in combat with Coil and Preston, leading to the Party having to physically restrain him so they could use the key to undo the damage, thus confronting Morenthal with the realisation that not only was everything he thought he knew about Jonathan a lie, but in actuality Jonathan had committed possibly the most invasive violation he’d ever been subjected to in order to forcibly make Morenthal into one of his loyal tools.  That level of emotional and mental whiplash would be rough on any character, but for Morenthal it’s particularly brutal because…

Based on what’s been revealed in-game so far, the core of his character is that Morenthal is an abused child.  This most-clearly came up in his conversation with Gelnek in Session 14; he was a child who grew up with nothing, raised by the Bloodletter Mercenaries as a tool instead of a person, and taught to see faces only as targets – with him also mentioning to Hobson in that their “combat training” involved being relentlessly beaten down until he learned to fight back.  During his Session 21 visit with the Nightmother, he openly admits that “nowhere feels safe”.  From that it’s pretty clear to read that Morenthal has never felt unconditionally loved, safe or respected around other mortals.

(This also helps contextualise why he’s so devoted to the Nightmother.  From what little we have seen of his visits to her, Iris is a fond “adult” figure, who does not threaten, does not judge, asks nothing of him aside from his company, and cares equally for all the souls that pass through her domain.  For a child “growing up with nothing” but violence, that would have been everything.)

But then, enter Jonathan fucking Wick.  And now, just for a short while, Morenthal has all these “memories” of Jonathan being there to confide in, encourage him and support his escape from the Bloodletters.  Suddenly he believes someone was there for him and, while the memories might be fake, the feelings of unconditional safety they would have brought were very real.  Little wonder that he started acting like a Trilby-level naive goober around Mister Wick to the point of accidentally snitching on the rest of the group.  Only, then it turns out to be a lie and those memories are gone.

For me, I think one of the worst things Morenthal might end up dealing with in the aftermath of having his memory fixed isn’t the specific feeling of personal betrayal or the potential shame at having been caught: it’s the realisation that he was always alone.   That there was no mortal on the outside who cared or came for him when he needed them – just him and the distant fondness of a Divine.  That would be awful beyond words, and yet the Flower Crowns were forced to inadvertently inflict it upon him in order to restore his mind.  No wonder he wouldn’t look any of them in the eye before the session closed.

Worse still, the nature of the key makes it incredibly hard not only to trust others, but to trust your own mind.  The players and audience above-table know that Morenthal is back to experiencing and remembering reality as it happened, but the question could very well linger for him, bringing with it a hefty dose of paranoia.  Sure, Morenthal correctly remembers that Coil is a straightforward, loyal person who wouldn’t be tempted to tamper with his mind beyond undoing Jonathan’s manipulations… but he “remembered” that about Mister Wick too, and wouldn’t that be a beneficial thing for the Party to have him think?   To Morenthal, people were already Not Safe™, but now the one person he ever believed might be had actually violated him worse than anyone else in order to force and abuse that trust.  How is he supposed to trust anyone if he can’t trust the authenticity of his own recollections.  (I get the feeling that Morenthal probably isn't going to be capable of relaxing until the Shaper of Minds is confirmed to either be locked back safely in the Vaults of Eversteel or fully removed from the Mortal Plane by Six).

It makes it really tragic that all of this came directly on the back of Episode 23, where Gamb revealed during the above-table break chat that - even if Morenthal didn’t recognise why – he unconsciously trusted Trilby and Gelnek enough to jump off the airship without checking that his rope was secure, because deep-down he knew they would catch him.  To go from that high-point to the whiplash of him first thinking the Flower Crowns had killed the only person he was ever “safe” with, then them inadvertently subjecting him to the most painful realisation he could ever experience and potentially leaving him wondering whether he can even trust his feelings about them is absolutely gutting.

I think the thing that scares me most about how the aftermath could potentially play out is another trait that Gamb and Dan have established for Morenthal: he's a flight-risk.   He shies away from letting people get close and, if he feels unsafe enough, he runs.  It’s already been mentioned/implied that he’s considered fleeing the group at multiple different points across the sessions.  And with him likely not feeling safe even in inside his own mind right now, that risk is probably at an all-time high.  The poor lad is staring down the barrel of a potentially-impending multi-level emotional crisis, where a lifetime of instincts will probably be urging him to run hard and fast because People Are Not Safe™.

And the thing is, that instinct isn’t a good one for him either.  Morenthal might have gotten by on his own “just living to be” up until Filgrove, but that feels a lot more like surviving out of necessity than having an actual life.  It’s pretty obvious that he pushes people away as a defence mechanism:  if you don’t care about anyone then you can’t be hurt by them or have those people used against you.  But if you don’t let yourself care and feel things, you’re not really living.  The truly tragic part of his running being a potential foreseeable outcome is that the Flower Crowns are good for Morenthal.  (I doubt Morenthal realises it and can’t speak to Gamb’s above-table thought process but it’s interesting that one potential interpretation of Morenthal’s cynical, faux-apathetic, “stinky” behaviour is that of a former abused child quietly testing the boundaries of whether he’s allowed to exist in a way that’s inconvenient for others, to which the answer from the Party has largely been yes provided he isn’t actively encouraging Trilby to get himself killed, or killing people without explaining himself).  He survived alone before because that was all he knew, but I get the feeling he wouldn’t do so well if he tried to go it solo again after being with people (he’s already confessed that the idea of Feyli being gone makes him miss her).   That’s not a road to walk on his best day, let alone with his current headspace and tendency towards self-destructive choices. 

It reminds me a lot of this article:

“Still, it’s easier for us to keep blaming ourselves because it’s preferable to facing the unthinkable: the fact that our parents don’t love us. …  Most people would rather do anything than accept this as the truth. Not only is it painful; it’s humiliating.”

So yeah, suffice to say I am incredibly concerned about how Morenthal’s arc is going to play out over the next session(s).  Here’s hoping that Gelnek and/or Coil have enough emotional savvy to keep an eye out, and enough patience to stick to him even if he lashes out in attempt to drive them off.  Even if it all works out okay, I get the feeling that this one’s going to be ugly.

Can’t wait to see how everyone chooses to play it ❤️‍🩹

[starzzmissthesun]

Since you asked I have to tell you abt this story I came up with like 4-5 years ago and have held so deep in my heart since! The characters are literally a part of me atp. So the main character is named Margaret Lainey and the whole story is basically in the format of her diary, it's 14 entries within the month of February and let's just say I put her through it😭. She starts off the journal entry explaining how she has to start writing in the journal as recommended by her therapist who she sees bc of a suicide attempt... yeah

And towards the the first half of the entries you see her getting better up until Valentine's day, a very pivotal part of the story, where everything just starts going down hill.

A lot of it as to do w/ her unrequited love, she's head over heals for this girl Lydia, who she believes is straight, now obviously Lydia not returning her feelings isn't the only reason she goes off the deep end, it just sets back on all the things she still hasn't healed from, considering she's been struggling for a looooonnng time.

What's a really devastating part of the story is also Margaret's best friend Jamie, now Jamie is a trans, mtf, but as the whole story is told in Margaret's perspective its unknown to her and the reader which means Jamie is dead-named and misgendered the entire time (shes still super important and gets her own story bc ive always wanted to also write a sequel for her) so Jamie is like really in love w/ Margaret, a lesbian, but Margaret thinks Jamie is a boy the whole time :(

At the end of the story the last chapter/entry is a suicide note, Margaret kills herself which is definitely foreshadowed throughout even though you also think she's gonna be better by the end, but unexpectedly it's actually a double suicide w/ Jamie so after reading the 1st part ur supposed to be like hello what!?!? Hence the sequel which is Jamie's story

I love them both sm, I have story names and outlines but I never feel confident enough to do their story justice😓

The story names have been the same since I came up with it

Part one: Through My Eyes, Love Margaret Lainey

Part two: Through My Eyes, Love Jaime Blue

So now that background story rant is out the way (sorry its so long😭😭) here are some fun facts abt them

Margaret

Her favorite colors are green and yellow, she paints her nails purple and blue and black constantly and always has them chiped from picking away at them,she cuts her own hair so it's always really choppy, she's got tons of beauty marks but she doesn't like them, her favorite books are No longer human by Osamu Dazai, The Catcher in the Rye, and Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh, her favorite movies are Coraline, Heathers, Thirteen, and Girl Interrupted, she enjoys reading, photography, and collecting odd things, some of her favorite songs are Cigarettes out the window, Death of a party girl, I'll die anyway, Change (in the house of flies), Ptolemaea, she's constantly humming and writing on her arms, she's got a horrible sleep schedule and bad trust issues and horrible self perception/esteem, she loves to take pictures of Lydia whenever she sees her even though she knows it's odd and she shouldn't, her loves to hang out with Jamie, it always makes her feel content

Jamie

Her favorite colors are light pink and red, her favorite books are The picture of Dorian Gray and Speak, her favorite movies are As You Are and the Corpse Bride, she also loves horror movies even through they give her nightmares and make her keep her feet strictly under the blankets at night, some of her favorite songs are Heather, Family line, I can't handle change, Christmas kids, Heart to Heart, Out of Touch, and Sailor Song, she loves fashion and wants to have an odd shoe collection one day, she paints her toe nails red constantly with a stolen bottle of polish, she likes to sit in her closet with a blanket and a flashlight with a book like a little kid, she hates looking at herself in the mirror, she loves to hang out at the park with Margaret, swinging on the swings and pretending like it's a date just for five minutes

There's sm more to say and I also have a character sheet for Lydia cause she's actually great but I think this is all it's gonna be, if you actually read this whole thing ur kinda the best cause I ranted sm 😭

Oh my GOD!!!!!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!! GENUINELY GOT A PARAGRAPH IN AND STARTED SHAKING A BIT CAUSE I GOT SO EXCITED!!!!!! THIS IS SUCH!!!! A COOL IDEA!!! I ACTUALLY LOVE THE WHOLE DIARY ENTRY CONCEPT SO MUCH!!!!! THIS SOUNDS SO AMAZING AND COOL!! I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS SO MUCH??? GENUINELY I LOVE THE UNRELIABILITY OF MARGARET???? AND THE STORY ITSELF IS SO COOL? I WOULD LOVE TO READ THIS ACTUALLY, LIKE COULD BE A BOOK IT'S SO INTERESTING??? AND LIKE I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE FORESHADOWING YOU COULD PUT IN HERE? I ALSO LOVE HOW YOU HAVE SUCH A GRASP ON THE CHARACTERS? LIKE THEY FEEL REALLY REAL. UGH I ACTUALLY REALLY WANNA KNOW MORE!!!! I TRUST YOU COULD DO THIS JUSTICE🙏LIKE YOU HAVE SUCH A GRASP OVER THE WHOLE THING, AND IT'S GOT SO MUCH TO IT? I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD PICK YOUR FAV CHAPTER THAT YOU THINK COULD DO THE BEST AND START FROM THERE!!!! (also if you have any character designs lmk cause I'd draw them for you totally:D) ugh this is actually so amazing, if you ever wanna say more, feel free!! Cause id be ECSTATIC!!! Also, I really love the idea that it's almost destined for her to die, but it's so unexpected when she does. :DD

[alias-milamber]

Today I completed a Blades in the Dark campaign

Lessons learned:

Blades in the Dark isn't great for a short story-focused campaign

BitD works well for a single-session or a long campaign with the territory/growth rules it defines, less well for short campaigns

Even when I think I'm making a short campaign, it might last a year.

Full improvisation is fun, but if you don't take notes you'll goozle yourself.

"Your Theorycrafting about the nature of the plot is entirely correct" is a vicious Devil's Bargain

As is "I'm not going to tell you, but it gets you two dice"

Write a vague prophetic dream, and use the details later to make them pay attention when you need to.

You can build an entire year long arc on the stupid pun "the bad guy is called Carson. He wants to turn everyone into crabs"

"He wants the whole world in his claws, the shellfish bastard"

A shop full of monkeys-paw magical artifacts that you improvise on the fly is like catnip to players.

Keep a list of random threads you haven't looped back to. Don't bother to check them off, things can mean two things.

If in doubt, add more cultists.

If in doubt, venetian masks.

If in doubt, add an NPC's mirror-verse twin.

"Everyone gets nightmares about being shelled and covered in Mary-rose sauce."

Three handouts:

A Dream Of Seafood

(after a player has eaten of the sacred flesh, disguised as a prawn vol-au-vent)

The world is cold and wet, and you like it that way. The sandy floor below you, the stars above, as it has always been and will always be. In the distance you hear the song of the leviathans, cutting through the ocean water like bagpipes over a mountain hillside. The words mean nothing to you, their song as alien as yours would be to them.

You do not sing your song, sound isn't what you're made for. You are, you see, you feed, you eat.

You obey.

The sandy floor rises up below you in ribbons - you never even process the net that has caught you. Your life flashes before your eyes, hits this moment, and goes beyond into the future.

You see the world above the ocean briefly, before darkness. The smell of wood and others for a long time, and a long descent into clean water. The water scalds and burns, and the life life leaves you, without your presence going with it.

You haunt the flesh of yourself as your shell is peeled back from you. A bath of pink sauce and a bed of puff pastry. Music, and strange people.

A mouth, and darkness.

And despair.

A Dream Of Shellfishness

(The first character to atune to a sacred artifact)

Within your dream you awake. You are underwater, and this seems oppressive and terrifying until you realise that you're breathing the water without difficulty, and then it just seems oppressive and differently terrifying. You breathe in brine, it fills your lungs and then you breathe out again, and beyond your initial panic, a deeper worry sets in.

You are surrounded by stars, refracted by a perfectly clear sea. Above and below you, constellations unrecognised, twinkling gently in the pitch black night. A moving black patch above you can only be a leviathan, its gigantic form gliding through the pitch black sea like a bird of prey. Behind it, the keel of a hunting ship disrupts the surface with its infernal motorised screw engine spinning to try to keep up, but the monstrous creature swims away with no apparent concern. Around you is a barnacle encrusted cage, glowing runes engraved on a wooden frame that you somehow know cannot be broken, even by you.

That's no mean feat, you discover, as a sense of scale kicks in and your perspective shifts. You realise that you could hold that leviathan in the palm of your hand, should you be able to break the cage that surrounds you. You beat against the bars soundlessly, unheard and imperceptable.

A voice, a sound like the antithesis of music, and you see one of the glowing runes go dark on your prison.

Vengeance will be won.

The Crab God's Shanty

(To the tune of the work song from Les Mis)

We sit, we row. Fourty fathoms low. We sail, wind blow, Forty Fathoms Low.

We load cargo, Forty fathoms low, We lift, we stow, Forty fathoms low

The stars, they glow, Forty fathoms low, The tide will flow, Forty fathoms low.

The deep, plateau, Forty fathoms low We see, he know Forty fathoms low.

The undertow, Forty fathoms low, Will make us go, Forty fathoms low

He speaks, bestow, Forty fathoms low, We feed, he grows, Forty fathoms low.

Our life, forgo, Forty fathoms low, The world will know, Thirty fathoms low.

Give up, let go, Twenty fathoms low, He rise shadow, Now ten fathoms low.

He rises slow, Just five fathoms low, Yo ho, heave ho. Claws at your ship bow.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

About your last meta, since TV series Dream is going through his character development more rapidly(changing Gault into a dream, admitting he was wrong and apologizing to both Gault and Lucienne, saying that he will try to listen more) do you think he'll survive his tragic fate? I'm desperately hoping he does

honestly, i've almost written so many metas on this, and never ended up posting any, because the short answer is i just don't know

but if you want my evidence either way...

reasons the ending may change

everything is kinder in the tv show. the world it's working towards is just a better place. john not killing rosemary, unity and desire's relationship being consensual and meaningful, the changes in tone to sound of her wings, the fact that dream seems actually open to calliope's suggestion of reconnecting rather than just outright saying no, the corinthian actually taking care of jed rather than just stuffing him in the trunk of his car, i'm sure there's more i can't think of right now, but this adaptation is astoundingly accurate, most of the scenes are taken from the comics word for word. whenever a scene isn't lifted directly from the comics, i invariably find it's more hopeful than what was originally there

when neil was asked why john didn't kill rosemary, one of the things he said was that he didn't want comic fans to think they always know what's going to happen

as you mentioned, the entire gault plotline. dream's entire problem is that he doesn't believe he's capable of change. by making him realise that one of his nightmares is, that's certainly setting some kind of precedent! (and, while i'm not assuming neil won't pull a bait and switch here given the disparity between what lucifer's actually planning to do to dream and what it sounds like they are, "a new age" is certainly a Choice of line if you're planning on killing dream five years later)

rose and lyta. first off, rose is allowed to remember what happened to her, which immediately gives her a lot more agency over the plot. and she knows lyta a lot better, which means that lyta has a support system in the show that she did not have in the comics. if daniel goes missing, in the show, rose knows the entire story, and she's gonna take that straight to dream, if she can. i am sure the "if you have the power to destroy the world, then you have the power to destroy him!" "i don't want to destroy him" line is going to be relevant in the future

reasons it may not:

daniel's still a character. one way or another, i don't think morpheus is going to make it through this and remain dream of the endless

there's no changes made to desire and dream's last scene, where dream talks (in vague terms) about how that was a murder attempt desire just did, killing family will bring the kindly ones down on his head, like desire vowed to do way back when (and given one particular mason interview where they talked about looking forward to the audience understanding all the backstory behind that conversation, i believe this line is still foreshadowing, dream will still have to kill orpheus and lyta will harness the kindly ones against him)

i think the addition of matthew to the scenes in hell adds a lot to later comic scenes (see: this post for more on that)

tragedies are a specific form of storytelling with their own rules, they're not the same as "regular story, but you made the characters lose at the end". sandman, as a story, follows the rules of a tragedy. and as much as i would also like good things for dream, in order to tell this as a story with a happy ending, a lot would have to change right from the start. which, just personally, i don't really want it to, because a lot of the scenes i really like and find the most meaningful of this story would probably have to get cut or heavily modified to support that new story

and further on that, just from a writing perspective - in a story with a happy ending, tension is created by placing obstacles between the characters and what they want, things they have to surpass and fight for. in a tragedy, getting what the character wants has to be so easy, if they were anyone else in the story. tension is created through the fact that everyone involved can see the exit out of the tragedy, it's right there, but the qualities that fundamentally make the character who they are are the same qualities that keep them from acting.

the conflict in this story is undoubtedly between dream and himself. his need to abandon this burden that is far too heavy, vs his inability to take any action that runs counter to his duty. and it's made interesting by who he's placed in opposition to. what is the point of lucifer as a character, of destruction, if dream could listen to them? if watching someone change for the better could actually change him, then what's the rest of the story? he's already learned that from gault, you could cut it right here. and sure you could test that a few more times, but if we were writing a story about an immortal being who learns they're not beholden to their universe given duty, who has to overcome millenia of responsibility and feeling like they're not really a person in order to realise they're in control of their own life and can live how they choose - that's already lucifer's story. and destruction's. why aren't we writing about them, instead?

one of the big questions we ask in storywriting is why here, why now, why this person? and what makes dream unique is his utter unyielding dedication to the rules and to his responsibilities. and that means that, despite every other character in this story pointing out the glaring neon exit sign from the tragedy, he could never have done anything other than what he did

and you could do it, don't get me wrong. if you wanted to write sandman as a story with a happy ending, you could take dream down a path of learning to be someone else, to change enough that he's no longer the character that gets grabbed by the tragedy (though it'll still be a tragedy for lyta). and if we were gonna do that, and do it well, season one has been a good setup for it. but that's a different story, that will require different challenges, ones that actually make him learn, rather than making the situation progressively worse with every challenge he ignores. and it really comes down to i don't know how much neil is willing to entirely rewrite his masterpiece like that

i think s2 will tell, one way or another, because season of mists is where the tragedy properly starts. as much as i ended up writing a longer thing under reasons why not, that's just because they were more complicated concepts to explain, i genuinely cannot predict what neil is gonna do here. every time i think about this i feel like my opinion falls on a different side. but like i said, whether you're aiming for tragedy or a happy ending, you have to sow those seeds early on, or it's gonna leave the audience feeling betrayed, no matter which you choose. preludes and doll's house, they're early enough and unconnected enough they could fall on either side. but i think season of mists is gonna make it evidently clear

[babyangelsky]

Two Worlds: Novel vs. Series (Part 2)

In my first post in this little series, I went over some of the differences between the novel for Two Worlds and the show. The novel is very convoluted and a lot of changes were made so in that post I only covered the changes to World 1 and now I am here to do the same for World 2.

Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read that absolute monster of a breakdown, I appreciate you a lot 💖

As I stated previously, the official English translation of the novel is only updated through chapter seven, which equates to roughly episode 3 of the show and can be found here. (Trigger warning for discussion and sometimes graphic mentions of suicide)

Okay, let's do this!

World 2, aka the world Kram travels to in the series

Generally speaking, there haven't been as many changes to World 2 in the novel as there were for World 1. There also hasn't been as much that has been cut entirely, with one exception which I'll go over.

Of course, I suspect that might just be because of how early it is in the novel. Bear in mind, the translation is only updated through chapter seven so far and major changes could well very happen later on. My scope is limited to what has been made available.

That being said, in the chapters dedicated to World 2, we pretty much only get Phupha's perspective. Kram is present, as are Tai and Wayu briefly, but we don't get a whole lot of them and we don't spend any time in their point of view. Again, with that one major and also one minor exception.

The Prologue

Because the prologue takes place in World 2, I chose to cover it here instead of in my last post.

In the show, the prologue takes place after Phupha's death and consists of some flashes of his relationship with Kram as Kram walks along the edge of the waterfall. He drops Phupha's locket into the water, falls in while trying to reach for it, you know the rest.

In the novel, the prologue opens with Kram lost in the forest, also after Phupha's death. From his mention of a legend, we can infer that something happened surrounding Moonshadow cave but we don't know what.

Kram is distraught and crying and all he wants is to go home, but when he makes it out of the forest and arrives at the place is house is supposed to be, it isn't there.

Speaking of legends...

Moonshadow Cave

The mechanics surrounding the waterfall haven't quite been fully explained in the novel yet, only alluded to, but changes have been made here as well. Mostly out of necessity.

In the show, travel between worlds becomes possible on nights when the water turns blue and glowy.

In the novel, however, it's unclear whether conditions for travel between worlds exist. There's no mention of specific times or the water turning blue, but there is mention of a whirlpool near the bottom of the pool that's fed by the waterfall.

I suspect therein lies the mechanic that allows travel but again, it just hasn't been explained yet.

How Things Start Off

The show opens in World 1 with Kram but the novel opens in World 2 with Phupha.

(As an aside, I should mention that in the novel, the worlds are differentiated by 'present day' and '5 years ago'. The chapters that begin with '5 years ago' take place in what the show establishes as World 1 and the chapters that begin with 'present day' take place in World 2. It's helpful to keep that in mind if you do what I did and go to the novel after the show.)

Phupha wakes up from a nightmare wherein he dreamt he was being murdered. He has a headache but nothing to take for it, so he decides to go to the drugstore and feels someone watching him as he walks.

We learn that he has been having nightmares about being murdered for a while now and as he's in the store, he notices a figure staring at him from across the street. He can't tell who it is and when he looks again, they're gone. We also learn that about a month ago, someone slipped a note under his apartment door warning him that someone was plotting against him.

He feels himself being watched again as he leaves the store but can't see anyone. As he tries to shake off his unease, he gets a call from Wayu telling him that there's a problem with the "new kid" that's about to start working with them.

Wayu has learned that despite a very convincing fake ID, absolutely everything about this new kid is fake. Wayu suspects the involvement of the gambling mafia but Phupha tells him not to do anything.

The New Kid

Yeah, it's Kram.

The Interview

The next day Phupha is meant to go to see Auntie Lhu with Kram, but before they go we get a flashback to the interview, which if you'll recall is where Kram meets alternate Phupha officially in the show.

There are only a few details that are different. The interview goes just about as well in the novel as it does in the show but here, our boy Kram is a lot more timid and hesitant as Phupha asks him questions. He also doesn't play the nepo baby card when Phupha tells him to leave. Kram simply tells him that he can't because Auntie Lhu told him to come find Phupha.

It's also Phupha who says that if Kram wants the job, then that meeting with Auntie Lhu has to take place. Kram agrees and calls Phupha "your grace (khun chai)" which feels familiar to Phupha for reasons he can't explain.

The Trip to the Waterfall

There are a few more differences here than there are in the interview. Because we spend so much more time with Kram and Tai, the show just kind of cuts to Kram and Phupha at the waterfall. In the novel, we get some lead up.

The interview takes place in a flashback the morning Phupha and Kram are set to go to the waterfall. They drive there together in one car while Wayu and some guards following in another car. On the way, Phupha confronts Kram about lying about his identity and tries to talk to him about the why but Kram apologizes but he's being kinda cagey.

At one point he calls Phupha "khun chai" again and when Phupha tells him not to, Kram responds that that's what he used to call him and doesn't explain further.

Once they get as far as they can by car, the two continue by foot. Kram leads Phupha up the mountain just like he did in World 1 because Auntie Lhu's house is a good way up. Phupha gets tired and dizzy part way through the hike so Kram suggests they stop to rest at Moonshadow cave.

Phupha doesn't want to rest for very long because he doesn't wanna be late for the meeting but Kram keeps insisting because of the height and Phupha's tiredness and accidentally slips and mentions Phupha's mother's death. Only Phupha hasn't mentioned his mother at all and things immediately go south.

Phupha is demanding answers but Kram ain't giving any so Phupha tries to leave. Except he can't, because KRAM PULLS A GUN ON HIM.

WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN, KRAM?

He says he's not going to do anything and just wants Phupha to jump into the waterfall. Phupha refuses, Kram fires a warning shot, Phupha still refuses. So Kram decides to forget about the gun and rushes Phupha instead.

The two of them tumble over the edge and fall into the pool. Kram is still holding onto Phupha, who sees the whirlpool at the bottom. Fearing getting sucked into it, he punches Kram until he lets go and swims to safety.

Phupha emerges from the water. Kram does not.

Post-Waterfall Aftermath

Once again, instead of cutting to the aftermath, we get some lead up. And get to spend some time in Wayu's perspective.

Seeing Phupha's car but no Phupha, Wayu and the guards begin to look for him. They follow a stream that leads to the pool and find Kram trying to get out of it. They help him and Kram tells them that he and Phupha fell into the water accidentally. Wayu doesn't buy it.

We switch back to Phupha's perspective. He's in the forest trying to make his way back to his car but spots Wayu's car instead. Wayu is very relieved to see him and repeats the story that Kram had told him.

Phupha is very surprised that Kram is alive and in the car, so he tells Wayu the truth about what happened and suggests they take Kram to The Archive to get some answers.

Something else they cut out of the show is that as they're all driving out of the forest, they're stopped by Auntie Lhu. She asks them to let Kram go but they refuse since they believe Kram tried to kill Phupha. They go back and forth for a bit until Phupha gets fed up and decides they'll leave on foot if she won't let their cars through.

Kram tells Auntie Lhu that he'll go with Phupha and she relents and lets them leave.

The Archive

'The Archive' is the rather ominous name given to the secret prison Phupha takes Kram to in order to extract answers from him. Phupha's aunt (the one we know later betrays him) uses it to do shady shit for the benefit of the family company.

Things here happen pretty much the same as they do in the show, except for the fact that it's a guard who beats Kram instead instead of Wayu and Phupha is angrier and a bit more involved than he is in the show.

Kram passes out and it's at this point that things deviate.

As Phupha gets lost in thought because of all the shit going on and the warning Kram reiterated, a shot rings out behind him. One of the guards in the room with them has fired at the ceiling and demands that they untie Kram.

Surprise except not really because the guard is Tai!

Tai forces Phupha, Wayu, and the other guard into a cell at gunpoint and before he leaves with Kram, he once again reiterates to Phupha that his life is in danger from the person closest to him. Not only that, he tells Phupha exactly how he's going to be killed and surprise-not-really-surprise, it's the same as in the nightmares that Phupha has been having.

The Stabbing of Viroj (Once More with Feeling)

The conversation Phupha has with his father Adisak after Tai and Kram escape The Archive happens pretty much the same as in the show. Adisak wants him to go abroad, Phupha doesn't want to, etc. The only thing I'll note is that Phupha is thrown off and a little hurt by how much his aunt agrees with Adisak since she's the person he's closest to because she practically raised him. She even says she wants him to go so he won't die!

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON. DANGER!

Just as he does in the show, Phupha goes to visit Viroj after talking to Adisak but in the novel we get to see a bit more of the relationship between Phupha and Run before shit hits the fan.

It's not made entirely clear in the show, but Run isn't Viroj's biological daughter. She was a foster daughter he later adopted. Phupha seems very attracted to her, he cares for her a lot, and believes they're very well suited, but isn't entirely sure if it's love.

Phupha is waiting for her to bring her work to his bedroom so they can spend some time together that he hears her scream.

We know what happens next. Viroj is stabbed, although the wound isn't too deep. Phupha has his hemophilia realization, calls for help, help won't come, so he decides to take Viroj to the hospital himself. And because of the incident with Tai back at The Archive, Phupha believes he's somehow stopping help from coming to them.

As Phupha, Run, and Viroj are on their way to a hospital in the next province, Phupha calls his dad Adisak, who in turn calls help. The call goes the same as it did in World 1; somehow the hospital knows that Viroj was stabbed despite Phupha not having told that particular detail to Adisak.

The Crash

In the show, Phupha gets run off the road by the masked man he after manages to get Viroj to the hospital and learns the truth of his parentage from him.

In the novel, they never make it to the hospital and Phupha doesn't learn the truth from Viroj. Instead he learns the truth from Wayu, who he'd asked to dig into some information and who learns that Adisak was sterile and thus couldn't have been Phupha's biological father.

As they're driving, Run notices that they're being followed. The car is flashing its high beams at them and honking continuously but Phupha doesn't slow down or pull over.

Turns out the people following them are Tai and Kram. Tai is shouting for Phupha to stop but of course, Phupha refuses. He does think it's strange that Tai and Kram should appear precisely now but his gut tells him that they don't want to hurt him.

Unfortunately up ahead there's a pickup truck blocking the road and Phupha doesn't see it in time to avoid it. He swerves, side-swipes the truck, and the car ends up flipping a couple of times.

The wreck is approached by a thoroughly fucking creepy and psychopathic masked man whose perspective I personally really did NOT need to spend any time in, and the chapter ends with him detailing his plan.

And that, beloved reader, is where the translation leaves off for now. The only thing I left out is a huge flashback about Viroj and Adisak's history that spans like a chapter and a half. I left it out because despite giving us a lot of insight into them, it's not quite within the scope of me detailing the differences in the main plot of the show and the novel.

I could write an entire essay on them alone. I already had a lot of feelings about Viroj in the show because he's such a tragic figure, and he's even more tragic in the novel. There's a lot of love in my queer little heart for his character and it broke for him.

I am going to keep reading the novel as it's updated because it really is a fascinating story despite being so convoluted. I'm having a great time reading it. Obviously I'm not going to keep writing about the differences because who knows how long it'll take to complete the translation, could be a year from now.

But if there's anything you wanna know, feel free to ask!