#the end result is that i just do the bare minimum to be nice and polite and end up being a really normal person sometimes. i think

[narcopathyfiles]

sometimes i forget the disorders i have are considered like. serial killer syndrome basically. like my ass could Not do any serial killing.why would i do this. i already hate doing laundry

[nekropsii]

Aww. On one hand, I'm glad my words touched you. On the other, it makes me so deeply sad knowing even the smallest glance towards granting one basic human dignity is enough to drive one to tears. I wouldn't even call my words the bare minimum - I don't think that countering the common idea that a group isn't inherently abusive should be the bare minimum. The bare minimum should be casual respect, the same that's afforded to any other person. The bare minimum should be me not even needing to say any of this in the first place.

NPD is so heavily demonized, especially right now. There's wave after wave of people claiming "Narcissistic Abuse" is a valid term and viciously attacking anyone who breathes in the direction of contradiction, every single search adjacent to NPD results in almost nothing but article after article on, specifically, how to hurt people with NPD, or protect yourself against them... There's conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory posted online quite literally painting them as actual real demons, like, Demons, from The Bible, or linking them to the Jewish Reptilian conspiracy theory, and it's just completely and utterly gut-wrenching. Even in spaces that proclaim themselves as safe, or progressive, or bigotry-free, these unjustified, bigoted snap judgments occur. It's the worst.

NPD is not something that I have. I don't have any Cluster B Disorder, actually. But I'm sympathetic because they're all fucking human beings the world has decided is socially acceptable to turn into a Sinister Other, a Walking Otherworldly Threat, like this is a fucking fiction novel or a video game. I'm sick of it.

There's a few people in my immediate circles who have NPD. They're all good people. They're nice, they're funny, they have perspectives on things that I deeply value, they're smart, and I treasure their proximity so much. They've never done anything wrong, and certainly haven't done anything wrong purely on the basis of being some Evil, Conniving Super Villain. They're literally just hanging out, and I'm glad to know them. My life is better and more enriched having known these people. They have never wronged me, and I don't think they ever will. And even if they do, it would not be because they have NPD, it would be because they're a living being. As people, we all have the capability to harm others. Animals have the capability to harm other animals, too. Plants can harm you. This is not a trait unique to the Disordered.

Us people without NPD need to do better, to listen to our friends and siblings with NPD, to help boost them up so that we can help end this wretched fucking curse - or, at the very least, quell it. We need to help them speak louder, and amplify their cause with our vocal support. Ableism will never go away, but the least we can do is try to move towards making it not as socially acceptable to be bigoted. None of us need a Sinister Other to combat. This is not war, this is not the medieval times. We do not need this. We do not need to beat a persecution complex into ourselves to excuse persecuting others. We do not need to live in constant fear of the idea of the line cook who just wants to go home and play Dark Souls, or the office worker passing the time by thinking about their 3 cats, or the high schooler at home reading their favorite shoujo manga, or the guitarist driving home tapping their fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the radio. These are not your enemies. They are people going about their lives. They've literally never hurt you. Stop projecting your fear of abuse onto strangers - onto minorities.

My message to people without NPD is to fucking check yourself if you believe in Narcissistic Abuse, or automatically assume that people with NPD are up to something. Especially right now, that is a very, very vile, dehumanizing form of absolutely rampant ableism that we needed to take extreme steps to mitigate fucking months ago. Years, even. The best time to shoot this bigotry and burn it's corpse was the moment it started rising. The second best time is Now. Interrogate yourself. Realize that people with NPD are literally just human beings. Stop being awful to your fellow person. The way people think and speak about people with NPD is just absolutely disgusting, and everyone needs to apologize to them right now.

My message to people with NPD is simple: You deserve one billion dollars for having to put up with all of this shit. It's actually deranged. Trust me, there are others out there that think this is horseshit. You are not alone.

[koralinewrites]

Okay so I’m having Lost Eden thoughts and I need to rant about it. I know people don’t like it, but Laito’s route is actually so good in this game. Something I like about it is that it shows more of the ‘family’ side of the Sakamaki’s, something you don’t really ever get in other games, besides the occasional show of brotherly love from Ayato. But okay, back to Lost Eden. There will be spoilers for the story below.

For those who don’t know, basically Karheinz dies and gives his ‘Demon King’ powers to whoever you pick to romance. The bad thing about this is that Laito wants NOTHING to do with Karlheinz or his powers; he’d rather not remember that he was related to that man. 

Something I like to think of is that when Laito doesn’t want to acknowledge something uncomfortable, he just stuffs it in a glass jar in his mind and closes the lid as tight as possible. What this results in is something that would normally be just the tiniest slip of those emotions becomes a giant explosion of everything that was pushed down. When this man breaks, he breaks HARD.

This is shown well in Dark Fate when he learns what Karlheinz did (the fact that everything — his and his family’s trauma — was an experiment and carefully planned). But I’ve already made a post about Laito’s crashout and this is about Lost Eden.

ANYWAYS, (I’m summarizing and skipping things just to get my point across, so I’d suggest reading the translations if you want the full story) Laito ends up making a deal with Kino to kill his brothers. The thought process is that ‘oh, my brothers don’t care for me so this should be fine’ or something similar.

This thought process is QUICKLY proven incorrect by Ayato when the two are facing off. It’s Laito vs Ayato, Laito trying to kill Ayato. Ayato doesn’t fight back besides defending himself, and he basically yells at Laito about how MUCH he and the rest of the brothers actually do care for and worry about him. Ever since Laito got Karlheinz’s powers, he was more irritable and worse mentally than before, and the others RECOGNIZED that. And they were worried for their brother.

This realization kinda shell-shocks Laito, enough to not kill his brothers. This part makes me so sick (in the best way) because it’s basically just Ayato shaking Laito, being like “Yes, dumbass, we’re worried sick about you because we fucking care!” And Laito’s just “…you guys… care…?”

Another example of the familial relationship shown in this game is when Yui gets kidnapped by Kino and taken away to wherever he lives. Laito is about ready to CRASH OUT at that point, and the others recognize that. So what do they do?

THEY LOOK FOR YUI.

They try to figure out where Yui is FOR LAITO’S SAKE. And Laito himself is, once again, stunned. That they’re being nice, that they care.

And the answer his brain comes up with is that “Oh, you’re just scared that I can kill you with the powers I have.”

This part is quite funny, as Ayato is like “oh, motherfucker AGAIN?!! How many times do we have to TEACH YOU THIS LESSON???? THAT WE CARE????”

But it gets better when fucking SHU chimes in with something akin to “Is that REALLY the only reason you think we’d be helping you…?” And when Laito says “duh?” Shu just… gives the biggest sigh and replies like “Y’know what, believe what you want. I’m not fighting this.”

(All dialogue is paraphrased to get the point across, seriously go read translations cause they do a way better job-)

But THIS is why I can’t hate Lost Eden. This, right here, the fact that, okay YES it’s the bare minimum when it comes to familial relationships, but it shows that they actually CARE. That they CAN be a true family, that they CAN worry for each other, that they CAN help each other. And something so tragic is that Laito almost basically refuses to see it, despite them literally yelling at him and waving big signs in front of his face.

There’s nothing anyone can say to make me dislike this game, at least Laito’s route. Because, in a route where you’re basically alone most of the time with only one or two other brothers talking to you besides Laito, these family moments are so pure and I cherish every one.

[simsinlowspace]

Shang Simla - A Chinese-Simlish Font

Good morning everyone! I have a new font to share with you today! Details and download below:

I've been studying Mandarin for last five months or so, and I've really wanted to make a Chinese Simlish font for awhile, but I wasn't comfortable with it until I learned more about the writing system (my app focuses on vocabulary and conversation). Thankfully, I work in an insane asylum library and we recently added a few books to our collection about learning Chinese, including how to write it, so I finally decided to tackle this project.

Shang Simla is a Chinese-Simlish hybrid font. There are 26 "letter" glyphs (they correspond to the English keyboard), ten numbers and the absolute bare minimum of punctuation since that wasn't really the focus here. Each glyph is a combination of a Chinese character and a Simlish character - some of them are Simlish characters with Chinese radicals added, and others are kind of mashed up.

A few notes:

I had issues exporting the file for this one. Copying all the uppercase glyphs to the lowercase glyphs seem to fix the .OTF, so you can use either and you'll get the same results.

The glyphs are effing huge. I have no idea why, but you'll likely need to use some very small font sizes.

I used the standard Chinese characters for the numbers since Simlish numbers are usually just straight "English" numbers anyway. I ended up using the character for 10 in place of 0 because the Chinese 0 is an insanely complicated character that just wasn't playing nicely with my font tool. Since the 10 gets used in combination with other numbers quite frequently, I decided I was more than okay with it.

This is a pretty rudimentary font and I'm hoping to use it as a base for a more stylized version in the future. My main goal was to see if it could work at all, and I think this was a success in that regard.

If you have any issues with the file, please let me know. It looks empty when you go to install it, but it showed up fine in Photoshop.

Attribution is appreciated, and I’d love to see your projects if you use it! Please do not use for commercial purposes or redistribute the font itself.

All right! Out into the wild with ya:

DOWNLOAD (SFS) OTF format

Lots of love, Spacey

[bastigone]

My “Bad End” Run of Dragon Age: Veilguard

So one of my top complaints about Veilguard (besides the dialog sounding like AI sometimes and choices not counting from Inquisition) is you really can’t be mean. Your answers are all, well, milquetoast at best, and blunt at the absolute worst. And honeslty, I felt like the game held my hand so much it wouldn't let me make a bad choice. Or a choice at all. So that made me decide hey, I’m going to play the worst Rook of all time and see if the game lets me fail horribly.

My thought process is, if there’s no way to really fail at the game, like be a “bad” Rook, then the gameplay doesn’t really matter at all. Will the outcome of this change that fact that I have eight Rook playthroughs going right now or ultimately change my opinion of the game? No, but I’m curious.

I did the bare minimum on this playthrough, because that’s really the only thing the game lets you do that could be “failing,” so I had it on Storyteller difficulty with the optional setting to not let you die in combat. I want to know if I could conceivably “win” the game without trying, not bash my head against Hurlocks for a half hour.

What I consider failing the game has a lot to do with the final battle, so if you want zero spoilers, stop now, this is going to be so, so spoiler heavy.

Spoilers ahead plus a tl;dr below the cut.

Tl;dr: YES YOU CAN HAVE A BAD END. I actually like the "bad" end enough to recommend you do it!

Tenants of being a bad Rook:

Look like a failson (optional).

Have an Inquisitor who wants to stop Solas at any cost, and also looks like a pathetic failson (optional).

Do ONLY quests required by the main questline.

Choose the “angry suit of armor” option every dialog choice. I had two exceptions to this. I was constantly freaked out by necromancy, so mean to Emmerich, and if another option was going to be meaner, I chose that one. I did also do a couple Shadow Dragon-specific answers, but that’s because I let Minrathos burn and thought it was funny to insist that no really, I’m a good Shadow Dragon. Promise.

Ignore every character moment physically possible, and if you get stuck in a character moment, be condescending and blunt about it.

What I Consider “Successfully Failing”

If I can get several of my companions killed. Not just “kidnapped by a mirror” or “you led the second expedition so whoops into a blight pit” killed, I mean actively choose a horrible option for them in the end battle and have them die horribly.

If I can somehow bring down the entire veil (I doubted this was possible).

If I could make it to the final battle with NO ONE at Veilguard status. This was probably the easiest thing to do during this run, because I clicked absolutely no extra dialogs, did no side quests, and only did what the game gave me under the “Main Story” header.

Things I Actively Avoided

I viewed none of Solas’s memories.

I did absolutely no character quests unless made to by the main plot progression.

I did nothing with Mythal. At all.

I did not clear out a single Blighted Champion. The Crossroads are absolutely CHOKED with blight.

My companions may as well be coworkers because I did absolute jack for them. That didn’t matter really, the game got them to level 6 and up with no character quests done. Which felt like cheating.

I romanced no one because that would be extra work.

I skipped every. Single. Cutscene. Which doesn’t make you a failure of a Rook it really just makes the B button on your controller stick after a while. Caveat, I let the final battle cutscenes play so I could see who lived, who died, who told my failson story.

I did nothing for my allies (think Veiljumpers et al) unless the main story quest helped them. As of rescuing the Dalish from being almost sacrificed, every ally was at a whopping one star strength.

Results

Okay, we’re breaking this down into general stuff I liked, then talking about the final battle where it all matters.

Nice Touches

Even if you skipped every skippable dialog with Taash, the game still tells you about their identity and your character learns their pronouns. Nice touch. No skipping personal discovery here.

Final Battle(s)

Yes, we’re jumping to the final battle (well, two battles, we’ve got the island ritual/eclipse time then the fight in the blighted city) because tbh skipping the rest of the game means, well, nothing really changes for your Rook. You lose a decent amount of approval with Neve because you show no remorse for her city burning (or, I guess, blighting), but that doesn’t result in much of a change, she still follows you, and then everything else is just really damn quick. I probably spent a total of under 10 hours on everything in this playthrough up until the final battle, maybe 12 if we’re pushing it.

In the lead up, Harding mentions your allies are weak and you’re “probably sending them to their death.” Even the game stops you to be like hey, everyone is weak and has so many personal problems, you’re probably going to die.

My Rook did not care and did not stop.

As for the Eclipse Ritual quest, while I sent Harding with party two (primarily because seeing Asaan dive into that blight pit again would break me) and had Bellara go through the mirror (I did Neve my OG runthrough), nothing else really changed. At least, not during the Ghila’nain fight, nor the lead up, nor the Fade prison. I mean sure this Rook has a lot more to regret but none of it is brought up or mentioned.

Now it’s time for the stuff everyone cares about:

What Changed

To start, the final fight gauntlet was about to get a whole lot harder.

I immediately got missives from the Lords of Fortune telling me the Dragon King was around, and then Rana telling me Aelia is making trouble on behalf of Elgar’nan. Cool, I assumed I’d have to fight them in the coming battle as mini-bosses since I ignored the character quests about them.

Here’s my strategy: I’m going to assign the worst possible people to each critical quest and see if it lets me pass still.

Results:

Sent Lucanis after the construct (Actually Hezenkoss’s skeleton thing, cool), died to a boulder.

Sent Taash to guard the Veiljumpers, Strife died.

Sent Neve against the mages (this time, Aelia), Neve lost the beam battle and died.

Viper died to the blight (sorry Matt Mercer).

Taash later died to the Dragon King during the Inquisitor’s siege/last stand.

Bellara died on the throne stopping the Blight.

Emmerich and Davrin died to Solas, when I attempted to stop him.

Rook died/got pulled into a Fade prison to bind Solas to the veil.

So, technically the game let me get down to only two party members (Davrin and Emmerich, because I needed a healer) who didn’t die before the Solas showdown/conversation (sorry Bellara).

But, big thing here, the game let me fail. It let me get a bad end.

So you know how if you play the game nicely, and do every quest, you get to choose to trick Solas? You don't get that option to trick him, or even give him stuff. The Inquisitor wasn't even THERE. No, Solas freezes you in the air, steals the dagger, then as he turns with you suspended in air, your party members attack him and get turned to STONE. Anyway this had some of the most hardcore moments and dialog in the entire game, it's worth your time to do a run through.

Final Thoughts

The ability to fail really did change my opinion of the game for better. Helping my companions actually meant something to me, and helping them did change the ending. Do I still wish that the quests themselves had "bad" options or gave me choices? Yes. But knowing that I chose the "bad" options (in this case, not doing them) and did get repercussions for that, did in fact make me appreciate the game more.

Being honest though, killing Lucanis hurt me physically, so I will not be doing this kind of run through again.

[klausysworld]

Heyy I love your work I was wondering if you could do a klaus one we’re the reader is a bit chubby and all of a sudden she started wearing long sleeve and oversized stuff and nobody rlly noticed until they had a party or smth and she wears a dress and when they see here there all rlly shocked cause they didn’t notice how she a lot or weight in like a span of 2-4 weeks and she hasn’t eaten for like 2 days before the party

This one-shot will contain triggering content around eating disorders including both anorexia and bulimia. Please don’t read this is you feel it may upset you or harm you mental health. I’ve had personal issues around this area and know it can be hard. Don’t hesitate to reach out 🤍

Too much or Not enough?

Y/n had struggled with weight as a child, and as a teenager. As a result she had a difficult relationship with food and clothes.

She was naturally a little curvier, but what some people saw as gorgeous another saw as an opportunity to poke fun. And so she grew up hating herself and those around her who would highlight her insecurities.

As she grew out of adolescence and into adulthood she lost a little weight. She went to the gym excessively and ate barely anything. It was unhealthy but in her eyes it was her best option.

She still had her curves but they were complimented more than they were judged but even when people said ‘good’ things about her body, she just saw it at mocking. She would have kept losing the weight but she ended up passing out at the gym and having the paramedics called. They told her she needed to keep a balanced diet and take care of herself and as much as she didn’t want to, the fear of being that embarrassed again haunted her.

So she ate some what regularly for a while but ended up with two fingers down her throat to get it all back out.

She would have carried on that way if it weren’t for the Mikaelsons.

She had ended up being wrapped into the supernatural world and suddenly there were so many other problems in her life that food was almost forgotten.

Between a temperamental pregnant Hayley, overly dramatic Rebekah, pissed off Elijah, furious Marcel, war raging Klaus, power-hungry witches, territorial werewolves and bloodthirsty vampires, Y/n didn’t have much time to focus on herself. Especially not after Hope was born.

The stress seemed to make her hungrier, she would go days without any food and then eating as much as she could to ‘keep herself going’.

She didn’t really realise she had put her weight back on, she assumed running around after everyone would have been enough exercise.

And when Klaus had shown interest in her, when he had kissed her and laid her heart out on his sleeve well she assumed she must have looked good. Someone like him wouldn’t go for who she used to be, right?

And so she gained a small amount of confidence until the supernatural communities began to calm down and it seemed people were more attentive.

Y/n was able to go out more, whether it was with Hayley, Rebekah, Davina or just by herself. And that’s how it circled back.

One or two comments on her figure from men made her wear baggier clothes. An awkward moment with Hayley and Rebekah when the girls went shopping and Rebekah unintentionally made a quip on y/n’s size. Apparently a dress that looked good on Hayley wouldn’t be nice on ‘someone like Y/n’. She had brushed it off and told Rebekah it was fine when the blonde began apologising but inside it was anything but fine.

Even if she hadn’t had any malicious intent or meant it in any offence, it tore up old wounds and brought back something much deeper rooted.

And then when things started to kick off again and Klaus payed y/n less and less attention or affection, she assumed it was because she was no longer attractive to him. Had she gained that much?

So she did what she knew would work.

She forced herself to the gym as often as she could for as long as she could. Drank as much water that was available to her and ate the bare minimum to keep her conscious. Throw up anyway meal that she did happen to consume and have a packet of gum handy incase she got too hungry.

It was even easier to do once Hope was around more, Y/n was often asked to look after the baby while the rest of them took on the new foes and unexpected family members.

When Klaus, Elijah and Marcel had announced there would be a party to celebrate the defeat of a common enemy, Y/n began to worry. The last time she had to dress of for one of those things she was much bigger than she had thought. Looking back on pictures of that evening persuaded her to gag and cough up to the point where she was only throwing up water and blood form how she had torn her throat inside.

Even Hope could sense the change in Y/n’s behaviour when she looked after her. But nobody else did, everyone was too busy to realise.

Klaus had barely looked at her let alone touched her to realise that she had done down 2 clothing sizes and yet was wearing t-shirts triple the size they would need to be. None of the girls payed enough attention to see the bags under Y/n’s eyes or to notice her absence each morning when she would struggle on a treadmill for hours on end. Only Hope, someone who wasn’t even a year old, would give Y/n the hug she so desperately needed.

———————————————————————

It was the day do the party, Y/n stared aimlessly at the dress she had chosen the week before. If she were honest she planned on not going at all, nobody would notice anyway. But then Rebekah came in all bubbly demanding that she know what colours people were wearing she they didn’t clash in photos.

Photos.

Y/n learned to despise them. “The camera adds 10 pounds” she was told by her mother when she was young and it was something she reminded herself every time a flash went off.

So she needed to make sure she looked okay.

She scrubbed her skin raw in the shower, shaved every last hair from her legs before moisturising them and the rest of her body. She avoided any full body length mirrors and focused on her face, covering every flaw possible. Her hair was pulled to be half up half down, leaving pieces to frame her face and still give her enough volume.

She managed to get the dress on that was now a little loose on her, which she should have been worried about but she couldn’t help but feel relieved. The zip went up effortlessly but even so, she didn’t want to step outside of that door. So she stayed on the edge of her bed, her nails licking at the material of her dress as she hoped the night would pass by without her.

She had no such luck when Hayley came knocking on the door

“Y/n? Are you okay? The party started a while ago” she called through the wall and Y/n pinched her own skin desperately

“I don’t think I’m gonna come down…I’ll just keep an eye on Hope” she replied

“Hope’s dressed up and downstairs with Klaus at the moment, you don’t need to watch her, come have fun!” She told her brightly and Y/n could feel herself getting hotter as the nerves poured in

“Parties aren’t really my scene” she responded softly “maybe next time okay?” She tried again but Hayley was getting persistent

“Oh come on, there’s music, drinks, food. Have you eaten yet? Come on we’ll go get something” she encouraged but that only made it worse. Y/n had made sure not to eat anything the last 2 days so that there was zero chance of any bloating and she wasn’t about to ruin that.

“I ate earlier” she lied and Hayley sighed

“Try make an appearance? If not for me then for Rebekah or Klaus” she asked and Y/n could have scoffed. As if either of them had cared less that she was there.

Well so she assumed.

Unfortunately for her she was proven wrong again when the door hand was twisted and pulled, a frustrated groan coming from the other side of the door when they realised it was locked

“Y/n?” Klaus questioned “come out” he ordered and she had the sudden urged to suffocate herself with a pillow.

“I’m going to sleep” she mumbled, though she was still dolled up and sat against the headboard but it wasn’t like he could see her.

“We can fix that, open the door and I’ll grab you a dress” he told her and she pinched the bridge of her nose

“I already have a dress” she muttered in defeat, Klaus wouldn’t walk away as easily as Hayley.

“Perfect. Put it on.” He grumbled “Rebekah needs you in the photo” he added and she nodded, of course they needed to keep their image up.

“I don’t want to be in the photo anyway” she murmured and he groaned

“Just do it” he complained and she reluctantly stood up.

She plodded her way to look in the mirror and yet despite the makeup on her face, she just looked tired. It didn’t matter anymore though, she looked bad in pictures either way, may as-well know it this time.

Just as Klaus was reader to break the handle off the door, it was clicked open and Y/n was looking up at him through glassy eyes.

Klaus’s expression dropped almost instantly when he looked at her. The dress was loose around her body in all areas, her arms thinner than usual making him frown and reach a hand out to grab ahold of her wrist. His eyes locked on hers and his lips parted in shock.

She assumed he was thinking she looked awful, was the dress too small again? Was she too big? She could feel her face heating and her eyes filling with tears. Her breathing grew more laboured and her hands began to ping at the fabric around her to make it seem baggier.

Klaus quickly pulled her into his room so nobody could look up the stairs and see them. He stroked her hair gently as he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to stop any tears from falling.

“Sweetheart” he whispered quietly, guilt beginning to rise in him. People didn’t loose this much weight this fast. He knew he had been distant the last month but that was to keep her safe not to make her sick, was she I’ll and not told anybody? Or was this something much more?

He feared for the last one as he rubbed her back soothingly while small sniffs lift her and panicked apologies flooded form her lips.

“Why are you sorry my love?” He murmured gently.

“I just wanted to be pretty” she uttered and his heart ached for her. “I tried really hard” she whispered “it wasn’t enough”

“Y/n…” he murmured as his arms held her a little tighter “you’re always pretty, you’re beautiful and bright” he told her “don’t change anything about yourself for anyone else ever”

“I did it for me too” she mumbled and he nodded hesitantly

“Yeah but…this isn’t the way” he whispered and she sniffed

“It’s the only way that works” she argued

“Love, what have you been eating?” He asks and she frowns

“Why does that matter?”

“Because there’s a difference between eating healthily and not eating enough” he told her and she began to grow more upset at his tone

“I eat too much” she utters and he sighs, he placed both hands on her shoulders and looks down at her

“Nobody thinks that” he whispered, his eyes locked on hers as though it would make her listen better. “Not eating at all is as bad as eating too much, we can find a good balance” he persuaded

“I’ve tried balanced diets, it doesn’t work” she shakes her head frustrated

“I’ll find you a better one” he decided and she lets out a laugh

“Why because I suddenly matter enough? If you only just realised that I’ve lost the weight when we live in the same home then Im clearly not worth-“

“Stop” he whispered, a crack in his tone “do not do this to me and do not do this to yourself” he let out a breath “I wouldn’t ever want this to happen to you, I care about you. I was just leaving you out of all the darkness and the pain, you weren’t supposed to bring it to yourself” he snapped. His eyes were hard though he didn’t mean to appear so angry as tears freely flowed down Y/n’s face and a sob let her lips.

At the sound of her cries, Klaus’s bedroom door was opened rather suddenly. A concerned Elijah stepped inside, his eyes falling to Y/n and his brows furrowing as he noticed his brother trying to apologise. Then he noticed the differences from the last few times he had seen her and he picked up on what was happening pretty quickly.

He closed the door behind him and came forward, coaxing Y/n out of Klaus’s arms and into his own.

“Would you like a smoothie my dear? We’ve stocked the kitchen with fruits recently” Elijah murmured softly, his chin on top her head as he glanced to an upset Niklaus. Y/n frowned in confusion at the offer and at the calming affect Elijah seemed to have over everyone. He wasn’t really the hugging type but it was nice to experience one. She didn’t reply but he kept talking “how about I go and get you a smoothie while Niklaus helps you out of this dress? I’m sure you can wear one of his shirts for bed hm?” He lifted her chin up to look down at her. She blinked at him unsure as he tried to convince her further “I’ll bring Hope up as well?” He offered and she nodded slowly.

Elijah gave a look to Klaus and both brothers began to move. Elijah rushed off downstairs and Klaus grabbed one of his henleys. Y/n kept her eyes on the ground as Klaus’s fingers gently undid the dress

“I’m sorry my love” he whispered as he let the material drop down to the floor making goosebumps arise across her skin. His lips pressed to her shoulder softly before the warmth of his top was pulled over her head and her arms were pulled into the sleeves. His arms slid round her waist gently and his nose buried into her hair.

She kept quiet, eyes down as he unclipped her curls and let it all fall loosely around her face. Soft kisses planted their way up her face as Elijah returned with a smoothie and a straw.

Both brothers guided her to sit up on Klaus’s bed before sitting either side of her. Gently she was pulled into Klaus’s lap and the straw was brought to her lips

“The cup is only half full, the rest of it is in the fridge for tomorrow if you should want more” Elijah tells her with a reassuring smile

Klaus brushed his hands along her sides gently as she reluctantly drank what she was given. Both brothers continued to speak of random topics to keep the attention off of her as she took small sips as slowly leant back against Klaus’s chest.

15 minutes later Hayley came by and dropped Hope off, both she and Elijah left, leaving Klaus, Y/n and Hope to snuggle up together with the silent promise that at least Klaus and Elijah and most likely the rest of the Mikaelsons would be helping Y/n find a happier,healthier state of mind and body.

(I hope this was what was wanted, I didn’t go too deep into the topic and still wanted it to have a relatively happier/promising ending. If a darker message or ending was wanted then I would be okay with trying to write something similar for anyone out there. I understand the struggles with eating disorders and also with self harm and just mental health in general so feel free to message or request, anything at all :))

[theinfamousdoctorf]

You’ve officially convinced me to buy some cheap felt and make a few plushies how dare you /lh

That's excellent! But I would recommend working with cheap fabric over felt. Felt can be frustrating and it tears easily if you try to work it inside out. Also it's better sewn with strands of embroidery floss or thick crochet string. [I use a blanket stitch. Look at the jester shoes on my plushies to see how that looks.]

And as an aside; for anyone who attempts my DCA pattern- it's actually a decent first project because you'll learn how to -Work on things on the wrong side and turn them right side out. And add features by putting extra pieces into a seam. Which is basic plushie stuff. -Do a small amount of applique and see how you feel about it. [Some people find it frustrating.] -Sew buttons on. -The bare bones of how pants are constructed. -Use stuffing and make doll joints by leaving parts pinched/sewn and without any. -Make a crude ruffle. It's a nice quiet hobby that's fairly portable. And at the end of it you have a little guy. None of this pattern requires a machine and if the fabric you get is thin, then it'll just put up less resistance when sewn by hand. HOT TIPS - Do not sew hand-dyed-type batik fabric with a needle and thread. It looks like regular cotton but it's very dense. - Best place to get a sewing machine is Goodwill. Look for the heaviest metal machine you can find. Singer and Kenmore are the best. And places still exist to get them tuned up and fixed if needed. - When stuffing tear small bits of fluff and poke them into little crevices with a chopstick or similar. Don't over-stuff. Keep it light. - Ignore tutorials that sew stretch fabric on a regular sewing machine. You won't get good or durable results. You need a Baby-Lock sewing machine for stretch fabric. Turn your current t-shirt inside out and look at the seams. It makes a four thread seam just like that. - Slick fabric paint needs a minimum of four hours to cure. Don't try to cheat this, you cannot touch it until it's dry. If you're painting on something that's not flat; pin it to some Styrofoam like you're dissecting a frog to prevent accidents. - Always wash fabric before use. It's okay to stomp cotton/poly around in the shower with whatever soap comes off you hair and just hang dry. Don't use the finished edge of the fabric for anything. Just cut it off and pitch it. - Paper clothing patterns can be ironed flat on the lowest setting. Go quick and don't push hard. ALSO - You guys can always ask me anything if you get stuck! My grandma and my mother taught me the basics and I figured out quite a bit on my own. :)

[saiintvalentiine]

do you want to hear about the fun little thought of "what if the whole 100eb thing was imagined by kww!wato while they were possessed by the mask and not really lucid". because i am very insane.

youre hearing about it anyway! idc!

because, listen. kww!wato got hired to build the escape room by (evil) wifies, righttt. found the mask, got possessed by it for skies know how long. and then rememebered barely any of that. i doubt they were lucid during the whole ordeal.

eb!wato is trapped, so alone, and desperately trying to escape.

i propose that kww!wato imagined all that. their good friend, ken, coming with them (they cant be lonely, something so wrong, if shes there, right? (theres also the similarity of ken having once worn the mask. maybe eb!ken is an echo of that in a way; the masks memory filtering into watos and resulting ken being there in the end barrens too. until they leave. (why would the weird possession dream be nice?))). who left them. because they are alone in this. just endless, barren wastelands, nothing to do but mine and build towers, keep herself occupied, try to escape.

and then wifies shows up. (the last person he ever saw.)

when eb!wato loses the mask is when masked wato comes to themselves in the escape room and is in control for a little bit again. confused about where they are. loses control again, but doesnt go back to the end barrens, they are tired of the nothingness. they fight, eventually get rid of the mask, all that

and none of the end barrens was really real

and just, this is soo not canon, but its such a fun thought Ɛ>

"hey do you want to hear this" proceeds to pipebomb my inbox 8473936897290273 times

i love this idea tho !!!! the End Barrens being where Wato "goes" when the mask is on...... the mask def constructed Ken tho bc hear me out Ken fucking disappears. how can someone disappear in a world like that? no achievements no death messages?????? impossible. literally impossible. Ken at minimum would've either starved or triggered an achievement event, no if ands or buts about it.

but then what do we posit Wifies is..... is he just a construct of Wato's desperation that the mask can't control? Maybe it's that being around Whatever Evilfies does to make the clones has a weird influence on Wato. bc the Wifies construct is way too nice. He's literally everything Watos wants— someone to listen to, to talk to, to witness what she's done, to praise her efforts, to tell her she's doing well. and while the reveal is brutal, it's what pushes her to finally succeed in getting to the Nether. so I don't think that the Wifies construct is from or controlled by the mask like Ken might be cause that would make the mask have less power over Wato.......

ofc we can say the tulpa effect is powerful enough or something but there's gotta be some kind of neat fit somehow...... rotating this in my mind rapidly

[moonsaver]

It’s me @pix3lplays back at it again, not a request, but you mentioned a SLEEPOVER with the Stellaron hunters and it isn’t leaving my head so please have some thoughts…

First of all oh my gosh just IMAGINE their pajamas I’m crying that’s so funny…Silver Wolf’s is just straight up a Pokémon onesie or something-

Kafka has some very pretty, tasteful silk pajamas with lace…

Blade. Idk I imagine he probably sleeps shirtless or something (I’m normal about his scars I swear) but if he knows they’re having a guest he wears some random t-shirt alongside his sweatpants. Like. He doesn’t care what he wears at night…it’s a t-shirt with a really bizarre Picture or incomprehensible writing on it and you’re just like ??? Okay….

The human cast? Each of them have long enough hair…for a braid train…Kafka doing something really nice with Silver Wolf’s hair…while Blade just does something basic for Kafka, and then y/n gets to experiment with Blade’s hair…if he’ll let you. Important stuff I’m telling you.

Trying to play a board game with them that results in Kafka having to use her Spirit Whisper at LEAST once to get you all to calm down. Do NOT play Uno. Blade got +four carded like five times in a row, you felt so bad for him…

PILLOW FIGHT GONE WRONG!!! SO MANY INJURIES!!! Sam and Blade took it WAY too seriously.

At least one incident of Blade asking you to smother him with a pillow.

Silver Wolf who stays up LATE. So late. You’re all watching her play a video game, and the girl just doesn’t STOP, haha. Eventually you all would like to go to sleep…not her. You try so hard to stay awake to watch her but you end up falling asleep on the shoulder of another Stellaron Hunter.

Kafka eventually makes Silver Wolf go to sleep, but Silver Wolf does that thing I used to do as a kid where I’d just. Hide under the blanket while playing my DS. That’s Silver Wolf.

Blade getting a mara flare up in the middle of the night kinda killing the mood. Sam holding him like he’s a feral animal while you and Kafka calm him down.

Sam who I’m assuming doesn’t have to really sleep? Combined with Blade waking up really early results in them waking up the rest of you by accident in the morning haha.

Cooking breakfast for the Stellaron Hunter humans…please I NEED- (don’t mind me not really knowing how to cook but I CAN make pancakes and scrambled eggs lol)

I just…need a Stellaron Sleepover. Elio needs to put it in the script, I’m BEGGING.

Hello, Pixel! Glad to see you in my inbox, hehe.

The sleepover is a very fun concept!

I think your descriptions of their sleepwear is quite spot on. As for Blade.. does.. does he sleep? I feel like.. he just only takes off his normal clothes for wash day. Otherwise he probably just has.. some ripped up, old clothing that's begging to be put out of it's misery. Kafka has to come to the rescue once again and fish out some more appropriate wear for the sleepover and force him to change into them.

As for the braid train, I love it! They're all chattering and snickering, and y/n gets to experiment with Blade's hair. I imagine they temporarily dismantle the train to look at y/n's progress on his hair, and go back into their positions after. I think Blade's hair would actually be kind of silky near the roots, and in the middle. Most likely because he uses either Kafka's, or Silverwolf's bare minimum shampoo products which is miraculous for his hair. The ends are.. crusty, to say the least. But hey! It's not everyday you get to braid and shape his hair all silly. Make most of it!

The card game.. aww. Uno is probably the only thing all of you can really play, monopoly's not interesting enough for Blade to keep his attention, and other board games like Ludo makes Silverwolf too competitive, and Kafka's tried one too many times to cheat the dice. So.. Uno's the only simple option, not like they can't cheat, but.. it's a small card game, so.. whatever. They just stay dormant. Until all of you simultaneously pulled out a +4 and Blade had to pick up almost half of the card stack.. yikes.

Pillow fighting is probably the only activity that gets Blade actively engaged,but it's not long before the threads all snap except a few and the pillow is begging for mercy, Blade swinging it with such force to the point there's only a small bunch of cotton and fabric left.. injuries are even worse than that. Sam is a hair's breadth away from shooting someone through the pillow itself. So pillow fighting is banned until both Blade and Sam learn how to take it easier.

Silver wolf staying up to play extremely late.. makes sense. She would. Forms a small tent with an ominous glow from the inside, and it's just her console. At least, she doesn't quite disturb you as much as the others.

Blade.. poor thing. He himself probably doesn't want the mara flare up. After a while of calming him down everyone's just docile and kind of concerned about his shuddering state. Except Sam, of course. Deathly iron grip. Asks if he's done and if he can go. Dude, read the room!

Breakfast! Silverwolf's definitely not awake by then. Kafka's up and ready, miraculously. She offers you.. questionable substances, if you can even call it edible. But don't worry! Just close your eyes, take a mouthful, and leave it to Kafka if your stomach feels weird. Blade.. isn't someone that's partial to cooking, but all the Stellaron Hunters quietly watch him cook from the side.. watching him struggle a bit, but manage to cook an average breakfast with a few burnt sides. And of course, y/n gets first dibs.

[pinksbrickwall]

What Night in the Woods Means to Me (As an Angsty College Grad)

I remember playing Night in the Woods for the first time during my freshman year of college, and while I thought the art style looked nice and the dialogue was well written, I can't recall ever really giving it another thought. A lot's happened in the three years that's passed since then--I've met new people, learned new things, and have made steps (however small) towards preparing myself to become a proper adult-- a contributing member of society. And yet, through it all, I could never quite shake the feeling that--for all my efforts--I was no better equipped to deal with the harsh realities of the adult world as a college senior than when I was a freshman. Which is why, during my final few months leading up to my graduation, this game ended up affecting me in the profoundly monumental way that it did.

Night in the Woods is, in my opinion, a game about powerlessness. The setting of Possum Springs itself is trapped in a perpetual state of decay, both from a lack of government funding as well as from the devastation left behind by natural disasters. Every character living in Possum Springs, from the four central characters to the various NPCs you can interact with in town, suffer as a result of this unstoppable decay. Bea is trapped in a state of limbo, working a job she hates to support her broken father. Angus and Gregg work minimum wage jobs to escape a town which holds no future for them. The ending of Selmers' questline involves her reciting a poem about how much she despises the billionaires who take opportunities away from the communities they've never given so much as a passing thought.

Mae herself couldn't fit in at college, can't fit in at home, and everyone's always reminding her of all the things she should have done as the only person in her family with the privilege of a college education. She can barely control her own actions, much less muster up the confidence or will to pursue any given path in life, and it's clear just how much this eats away at her throughout the game. It can be taxing to not have a clear place in the world; it can be exhausting to not have a goal in life when the future once seemed so straightforwards. The cosmic horror aspect of Night in the Woods may seem out of place at first in such a seemingly low-key story, but I think it fits the game on a thematic level; when the world seems like its leaving you behind, when you have no agency over how you choose to live your life, existence can sometimes seem monstrous in nature. In recent years, I've often felt as if life was constantly passing me by, and it's repeatedly discouraged me from doing the things I know I should be doing. Following Mae's journey towards being a more empathetic and open person was kind of eye-opening; it was as if my all my pent-up uncertainty had manifested into physical form, and I felt a little less alone in the world.

The ending of Night in the Woods isn't granular. There's no magic solution to Possum Spring's financial troubles; Gregg and Angus are still leaving for a better place; Bea is still in a state of career limbo; Mae is still riddled with guilt and uncertainty. But I always manage to find little glimpses of hope through the ways these doomed characters interact with one another and find comfort in each other's existence. In the face of a monstrous existence, it's the little things which end up mattering the most.

[the-wip-project]

SloMo WriNo: Failure Proofing Your Goals

A Novel in one year.

So, what are the numbers for that?

If you’re so inclined, you’ve probably already done the math, and come up with some numbers for yourself.

Numbers like projected length of novel (I’m going to use 80k for this, but don’t get married to that, once you get into it the work with find it’s own length) and how many words a day you would need to write to hit that goal. (220)

That’s all very nice, but the problem with word count goals, is that you can create a situation where your writing becomes a pass/fail situation.

A situation where if you perceive yourself as failing (did I meet my word count goal this week? No? I AM A FAILURE!), and the pressure rises, it starts to feel safer to simply quit, rather than face repeated failures.

I’m against that sort of thing. (The quitting and also the negative self talk.)

So how does one measure progress without creating that sort of situation? How can you win the psychology game of getting words on the page?

Of course everyone is different. But here’s two methods (tricks? hacks?) that work for me at various times.

Low Goal, High Results. (The Min-Max zone)

The idea with this is to set a daily, or per session word count goal that feels too easy.

By now I hope you’ve figured out a good time and place to write. So go there, at that time, and do a timed 15 minute sprint. However many words you got, halve it. Repeat this exercise a few times to make sure you’ve got a good average.

Unless you’re a power writer, you will most likely end up with a number that is below that 220 we mathed out earlier, DON’T PANIC. In fact, for this example lets say that you managed to write an average of 200 words in your 15 minute sessions. Which means that your daily goal is now 100 words.

Of course with that number, even if you write every single day for a year that will only give you 36 500 words. Not a novel. Barely a novella!

The point here is not to write only 100 words a day. It’s making the daily task of writing feel easy and approachable. Not scary. If you know you only need to write 100 words, and you know you can get that done easily in less than 15 minutes, then why not do it? And once you’re writing, writing a little more generally happens easily enough. If getting started is the hard part, this should really help.

It’s a common psychological trick. But it’s common for a reason. It works!

Once you’ve set your (very easy) minimum goal, I also encourage you to set a maximum daily goal too. Especially if you’re the type of person who tends to go on 10k writing binges and then not write again for two months. Set your maximum at what you can comfortably write in 1.5-2 hours. So let’s say that’s 1000 words. Meaning your goal is to write 100-1000 words every time you sit down to write, and consider everything, from barely getting 102 to maxing out at 1002 an awesome, winning, writing day.

What does that look like? On a bad day, a day you don’t fee like writing at all, it means you tell yourself that all you need to do is write for ten minutes. Just get down 100 words (or whatever your minimum goal is.) And then if you haven’t found your mojo, you stop. No guilt or regret. You’ve met your goal, even though you’re having a bad day. You’re doing awesome!

On a power day, when you feel almost possessed by the muses, it means that when your timer beeps, or you see that number on the bottom of the screen hit 1000 (or whatever your number is), you make yourself stop. Yes. Stop mid flow. (It’s painful, I know! But please try!) Why stop? Because you’re learning how to have a healthy long term writing habit.

Write yourself some notes, and come at it fresh tomorrow. The goal is teach yourself that your creativity isn’t actually a unreliable muse. You are not subject to it’s whim. With time and practice your creativity will be there whenever you reach for it.

This is the method that I use most of the time, and I strongly recommend you give it a decent try (6 weeks at least.)

However perhaps you’re really just convinced that particular kind of psychological trickery just won’t work for you, or perhaps you’ve tried it in the past without success. Maybe it creates the opposite effect for you, and you find daily writing skippable because the minimum goal feels so low that you think you can make it up later (you won’t, but ahem, brains are weird.) So here is an alternative method that is also quite effective.

2. Higher Goals to Plan For Misses

Instead of setting your goal ridiculously low, you can try setting it high enough that you can miss writing days while still staying on track.

This will only work if you’ve been able to carve out a larger chunk of time for daily writing, thirty minutes to an hour.

So, lets run the example numbers. Using the 80k novel template, we already know that it would take 220 words a day if you write every single day, and never delete anything.

Writing every day is almost impossible, so you’re setting yourself up to fail if you set 220 as your goal.

So instead you plan for writing 6 days a week. Perhaps you intend to take Mondays off. They suck and you know you usually don’t feel like writing then anyway. Awesome. Let’s make that our schedule. Writing 312 days a year means a daily target of 257 words.

But still, that leaves no margin for error. No time for bad days, illness, that one scene you have to cut because it wasn’t working, etc.

So we double it. Your goal, with a plan of writing 6 days a week, is 500 words a day. And also (and this is the important bit) 2000 words a week.

Wait! That’s 4 days, not 6! Yes. That’s the point. It allows room for misses. To allow you to fail without failing. For days when you can’t reach 500, for days when you don’t have time (and with a larger daily goal like this, that’s a lot more possible.) For days when you just can’t.

Of course if you can only count on writing 5 days a week, or 4, or whatever your life situation calls for, adjust your goals accordingly. Always keep your goal word count about 1/3 higher than needed, to give yourself that cushion. If the numbers gets too large to manage, then it’s time to change the long term goal.

Yes. Really. Change it. Setting a goal that you’re bound to fail at is not going to help you.

Perhaps it’s more feasible for you personally to write your novel in 18 months, or two years. As always, your health is more important than an arbitrary time line, and you’ll still be awesome if you write your novel a little slower.

But what if both of those methods still stress you out, or if focusing on the numbers like that kills your joy?

Here’s a bonus method, that I personally use when things get to be a real struggle.

3. Gold Stars

This is for the times when the thought of tracking word count is just one step too many, and becomes an obstacle for writing at all. However when you abandon tracking completely, it’s often a way to abandon writing too.

So having some sort of way to confirm that yes, you’ve written for the day still helps, whether that’s putting a gold star, or an X on a calendar (you can find printable month/page calendars online for free, or you can buy those little book calendars very cheap), creating an art or craft piece (one time I wrote an entire novel assisted by a scarf where I only got to crochet a row after I’d written for the day), or whatever other way you can think of to mark that you wrote. Having a way to look back at your week or month and confirm that yes, you’ve written most days, is often enough keep you honest (with yourself.) As long as it’s something that feels like a reward and not additional work.

So there you have it. 3 methods for setting word count goals and tracking what you’re accomplishing.

Let me know what you’re going to try, or what sort of tricks work for you! (and feel free to ask me for help figuring out how to apply this in your own life.)

—Maree

Subscribe to my substack to make sure you don't miss a post, chat with me on the WIP Project discord, and tag any posts you make about the challenge with #slomowrino if you want me to see them!

[dbgdbw]

498.So Then, You Assholes Hand It Over (5)

그러니 댁들이 내놔 (5)

With the opponent in question being a monster estimated to be about SS-rank or so, the Hunters who had managed to secure a queue slot began soliciting the other S-rank Hunters to form an alliance. These were people who had probably never even gone on a Dungeon raid with another S-rank Hunter before. It wouldn’t be a bad thing, to have them give cooperating a go at this juncture. If only to serve as preparation for the events that lay ahead too, in any case.

“You’re telling me to be the support? I’ll have you know that I’ve never had to play lackey for anyone, ever!”

“Please be advised that I shall only be using a portion of my Skills. I have no intention of revealing all the cards I hold, on a stage where so many eyes are watching.”

“Two pieces of S-rank equipment. That should be the bare minimum, wouldn’t you say. Take it or leave it.”

Quarrels seemed to be breaking out among the majority, for the most part. Yeah, that seemed about right. I wondered how many groups would be able to scrape together a usable team comp for their attempt, in the end. One? Perhaps two?

“Let’s go have dinner.”

Yoohyunie said, demeanor showing complete indifference towards the S-ranks brawling it out amongst themselves. 

“Not yet. I’ll need to supervise, at least until nighttime.”

I didn’t have any plans to stay up all night, but I should at least stick around for the results of the first round, I figured. Hearing my words, my dongsaeng assumed a displeased expression. 

“Then I’ll go and bring back a simple lunchbox, at least. Stay next to Bak Yerim.”

“Just bring some of whatever they have prepared, ‘kay. Most of it’s gonna be things that can be reheated or eaten as-is, anyway.”

Since we couldn’t retain a chef on the premises, most of our dining options were preassembled in nature. There were additional ingredients available on hand as well, but we could just eat what had already been put together. Saying that he would collect Peace on his way as well, Yoohyunie left his post.

“Gyeol-ah, do you want to turn in first?”

At my query, Gyeolie shook his head vigorously. But he couldn’t even talk while like this, and he was probably starting to grow bored. When Yoohyunie got back, I’d at least have to make sure he got something to eat. 

“I hear you’re close to my dongsaeng?”

Meanwhile, Liette had approached Myungwoo from the side. Whether it was because she didn’t possess a major need for equipment–having access to the large-scale dragon transformation, unlike Noah, in addition to Kang Soyoung’s Skill–or if it was because of her personality, unlike the other Hunters, she didn’t show any hesitance to engage with him. At the slightly aggressive cast to her words, Myungwoo’s eyes narrowed slightly. However, the one who showed a bigger reaction was surprisingly Noah. 

“It is not something that warrants noonim’s concern.”

“I’m trying to be friendly-like too, y’know.”

At Liette’s words, Noah’s expression filled with skepticism. Then, without further ado, he began urging Myungwoo inside.

“Yoojin-ssi, we’ll be turning in first, then. Let’s get going.”

“I’m alright, though.”

But despite Myungwoo’s protest, his hackles still raised towards Liette, Noah half-dragged, half-pulled Myungwoo towards the inside of the building. Left standing by herself, Liette’s lips jutted out in a slight pout.

“It didn’t work.”

“You have to make your approach a touch softer, unnie!”

Kang Soyoung exclaimed, appearing to latch onto Liette’s side.

“My oppas too, they were suuuper nice to my friends. Barring the boys, I mean. And you have to be good at knowing when to make your exit, besides. Dropping in to cover the bill for the food, then slipping right back out!”

Could that exchange, possibly have been Liette trying to make reparations in her relationship with Noah-ssi? In consultation with Soyoung-ssi’s advice? I wasn’t sure if it had been Soyoungj-ssi who had convinced her, or if Liette had come to make the decision on her own volition–but I supposed even Liette was capable of change, after all.

“Before that, why don’t you try complimenting Noah-ssi more?”

At my interjection, Liette turned to look at me.

“But I tell him he’s cute all the time.”

“I’m talking about the things that require effort. Noah-ssi’s proficient at a lot of things, right.”

Liette gave a slow blink. Hey, it can’t be that you really don’t think he excels at anything, right.

“He’s better at cooking than I am.”

“Without judging him by your criteria!”

“That's right, unnie. Please bring the baseline down to ordinary standards!”

Liette’s expression seemed to ask why in the world she’d be expected to do that.

“But he’s my dongsaeng? So of course it should be by my parameters.”

…wasn’t the problem with Liette, not that she held her dongsaeng in low esteem, but rather the opposite. Drawling unnie, that’s not iiiit~, Kang Soyoung hauled Liette away.

“It does seem like Liette holds Noah-ssi near and dear. I suppose there are cases where one’s expectations rise, the more precious they hold someone.”

“Why not–there’re those parents that go to the extreme when it comes to studies, after all, right. The ones that’re like, if it’s our kid, then they should be able to achieve this much as a minimum.”(1)

Yerimie said, nodding her head. And if the parent possessed exceptional ability themself, much like Liette, then the backlash probably would’ve been even worse, huh. Since, even if the child were to simply turn out to be ‘ordinary’, they would still feel as though they’d fallen short regardless. The child should only be judged by their own ‘standards’, but such a thing wouldn’t be easy. People ultimately tended to gravitate towards their own standards, even subconsciously, and parents were people before they were parents, first and foremost. 

Additionally, being the adult, it fell to the person who was acting as the guardian to put forth a greater amount of effort, as the adult. Sometimes ignorance was inevitable, and you could make mistakes, but a wrong was a wrong. And even if Noah-ssi were to bounce back completely, it still remained that Liette needed to change.

“Yerim-ah, you, and Yoohyunie too–sometimes I worry because you’re too well-behaved. Whether you might just be going along with what I want, even though you’re opposed to it.”

“Isn’t it the opposite, though? Ahjussi is way too accepting when it comes to Han Yoohy–Guild Leader-nim, I mean.”

“Ehh, if I’d actually given into everything Yoohyunie wanted, I…….”

Probably wouldn’t be here now, huh. Hmm. Well, since Yoohyunie was a special case. The reason he’d lived this far, like a human, was because of me, after all; and the reason he was living now, was owing to me as well. So shouldn’t it only follow, then, that I should concede to my dongsaeng.

Since Yoohyunie had given me everything first. To the point that he’d even balked at it, without leaving any piece of himself behind, all of him.

…thinking about it from that perspective, if he really couldn’t bear it, I could probably easily part with a measly arm, if it came to it.

“Yerim-ah, I hope you’ll always put yourself first. First place should always be reserved for ‘Bak Yerim’.”

“I will, of course.”

Yerimie was quiet for a moment, before continuing.

“Since I’d been the last one left. If I stopped existing, then the people I hold precious would disappear with me as well, I was told. But that, so long as I remembered them, they wouldn’t fade away.”

“...who told you that?”

“My sunsaeng-nim. While I was an elementary schooler.”

“...they were a good person, huh. Let’s have a hug, shall we.”

“Here, ahjussi.”

Yerimie threw her arms open wide. Hugging me back, she clung on tightly. Gyeolie had also latched onto my neck. Though the Hunters around us threw odd looks in our direction, what did I care. For Yerimie, as well as Yoohyunie. I really needed to make sure I’d be able to live on for a long while yet. 

“Feels like the kind of atmosphere where you shouldn’t attempt to approach them, doesn’t it.”

Just then, I heard Huanglim’s voice. Even Song Taewon, who had been monitoring the Hunters preparing for their raid from a spot a little ways away, had drawn close by at some point. Loosening the arm I’d wrapped around Yerimie, I turned my head.

“Since I hadn’t spotted hair nor hide of you, I’d ventured to guess that you’d ended up in the belly a monster, and yet.”

“The little Hunter-nim barred my entry on the grounds that my name didn’t match, y’see.”

“But it’s true, isn’t it.”

Yerimie glowered at Huanglim, brows furrowed.

“And you’re dressed improperly, on top of that.”

“Seeing as there was no mention of a dress code on the invitation card, it would hardly be my fault, no.”

Honestly though, what was up with that getup. The Hawaiian shirt and shorts combo, okay–but why was he going around barefoot, too.

“All of your military discipline’s gone to hell since you made a cock-up of things and deserted, I see.(2) And just what exactly did you do with your shoes. I thought cigarettes were the only thing you peddled, but was it that you’d go so far as to sell everything on your person?”

Huanglim, the bastard, made a show of flapping the hem of his half-dry shirt.

“For our Jinie, a mere hundred bucks.”

“No thank you. Piss off.”

“The pants, a thousand dollars.”

“The hell’s it so expensive for? Is it actually a luxury brand, despite its look.”

“The lower half costs more than the top half, don’t y’know.”

The fuck was he saying. As that Huanglim bastard took a step towards me, Section Chief Song-nim’s eyes narrowed. Yerimie, too, her lips pressed tightly together, snatched up my wrist as though preparing to teleport us away at a moment’s notice. Seeing all of that, Huanglim laughed, spreading his hands wide. 

“I really am here to sell wares.”

“Does it look like I was born yesterday.”

“Truly, I feel quite wronged–”

Huanglim quickly jumped backwards. In the same instant, a flash of fire struck down on the spot he’d been standing in, charring it black.

- 끼앙!

As Peace appeared, rubbing up against my ankles, Yoohyunie touched down on the scorched patch of blackened earth. 

“Is it fine to kill him now?”

“Not while in front of Section Chief Song-nim.”

Huanglim, who had retreated to a position far away, let out a soundless laugh in my direction. Since there was no way he was actually here to just sell cigarettes. Just what was that bastard really up to.

“...let’s go check out the monster instead for now. Section Chief Song-nim, would you like to accompany us as well?”

“I will opt to remain stationed here, at this juncture.”

There were several Hunters still milling about, true–and more importantly, Sung Hyunjae for him to still consider. Peace grew to his full size. Yoohyunie settled in behind me on his back, and Yerimie floated up to hover alongside us as well.

“It’s huge.”

About a hundred meters from shore, the rounded form of a monster could be seen looming above the sea’s surface. It appeared to be a turtle-esque type, after all, and the exposed portion of the monster resembled a massive shell. Glinting tarnished gold below the rays of the setting sun, it certainly looked to be a formidable foe.

“Are all of you ready!”

Moon Hyuna roared, having been the first one to arrive on the beach. A stopwatch was held in her hand. As an S-rank Hunter who was sitting out of the raid attempts, she had been asked to help track the run times for the event.

The first team, a raid team comprising two S-rank Hunters and five A-rank Hunters, all took hold of their respective weapons. 

“Without using your Skills yet, line up at the start line! And–go!”

쿵! As Moon Hyuna slammed the end of her spear into the ground, the raid party surged forward towards the monster. Instead of using a flying Skill–촤아악, disk-like constructs floated up above the water’s surface. As they quickly hopped across on the path of disks, the supports began to cast all of their Skills as well. Yoohyunie opened the lid of the lunchbox he had brought over.

“I’ll warm it up for you.”

“Me too, Han Yoohyun, do mine too. I’ll trade you ice for drinks, yeah?”

“No. It’s cold out.”

“Even if it’s chilly, sodas definitely need ice.”

“Hyung can have milk.”

But, I’d wanted something carbonated too....... Just then, the S-rank Hunter who’d managed to reach the monster first, swung their hammer in a powerful arc. The battle hammer, cloaked in a Skill, slammed into the shell of the monster and–

텅!

“Ugh!I” 

The Hunter was sent flying high, alongside their hammer. Hmm, significant resilience properties. Most likely a Skill. Tricky, very tricky.

* * *

The sound of running water stopped. Pulling on a dressing gown, Sung Hyunjae stepped out of the bathroom. His hair was still soaked through with water. This kind of approach proved more effective on Han Yoojin, after all. He preferred the ones that showed a gap in their armor, who hinted at needing to be taken care of. Whether the one in question was a human, a monster, or an entity that resembled neither altogether.

“I don’t recall calling for a bath attendant.”

In the center of the living room in his private quarters, stood a figure. Though it had taken on a humanoid form, the feeling it gave off was far from being so. To be precise, it was something reminiscent of a Skill or an Item.

[ Why associate with them. ]

It asked him. Sung Hyunjae approached the thing with measured steps.

“A guest should offer up their name first, no.”

[ When you despise impasse, and rage at impotence. Those lowly things do not suit you. ]

Sung Hyunjae’s hand shot out and seized the thing’s neck. As it squirmed in his grip as though it meant to escape, razor-sharp magical energy tore at the hand squeezing its throat. First hand, then wrist, and then down to his elbow; shallow cuts littered his skin in long, scrawling lines. But even as crimson drops of blood dripped down his arm, Sung Hyunjae fixed the thing clenched in his fist with an unwavering stare. 

“Not Chatterbox’s, it seems.”

Sung Hyunjae’s magical energy bore into the ensnared thing. Golden sparks crackled as he made to examine the thing in depth, surgical in his dissection. 

“...nor Crescent Moon.”

But Crescent Moon was said to have retained several children. And so, there remained the possibility that it was one of them.

“There are already enough troublesome matters to deal with at hand here, you see.”

Sung Hyunjae mused, lifting his other hand to press against the thing’s head. His finger crooked; it drilled through the skull, into its head. Rather than blood, a black viscous fluid leaked out. And then–지이익, increasing the strength of his grip, he began to tear it to pieces. 

[ Why shield them. ]

The thing, as it was slowly ripped apart, continued speaking.

[ An entity, such as yourself. Who would keep those things you deem insignificant beneath your heel. To act on your whims, regardless of the situation at hand. ]

“It appears that you hold some misconceptions.”

찌이익, the strips of what had been torn away collected at his feet. As its struggles increased, the blood that soaked his arms ran down to pool down by his feet as well. 

“Pray tell–why should I feel opposed to experiencing rage, frustration, and dissatisfaction, exactly.”

Sung Hyunjae asked, sing-song, as though humming a small tune. 

“It is simply what being alive entails, no. To only ever experience enjoyment, would surely be psychotic.”

Could a human being only capable of experiencing a singular emotion, truly be called ‘normal’. Surely, it only followed that what he was experiencing was a slow descent into madness. Or perhaps he had already even passed that threshold, long ago. 

“It may be that some persons–or, perhaps, even the majority–wish for me to maintain my lofty position at the top, as an unwavering force.”

Acquiring, eliminating, then reamassing. The countless multitudes that had interacted with him in those many worlds. They were absent from his memories now, but that was how things would have turned out.

“But I’m quite pleased with every aspect of myself, you see.”

Though it might not suit some others’ purposes, it was of no consequence to Sung Hyunjae himself. It enabled for him a vibrant existence.

And so, even if he were to fall down to hit rock bottom, so long as it was something he himself had intended upon. Even that situation would be something he enjoyed to the fullest extent. So long as he still remained ‘Sung Hyunjae’, in whatever form that might entail. 

찌이익, the last remaining piece was shredded into two long, tattered strips. The collected pool of disemboweled parts rippled lightly, like a small tar pit.

[ The more you do. ]

[ The faster you will decline. ]

[ So come, and find me. ]

The thing began to grow faint, before soon disappearing altogether. 파직, the small marble that had been left behind let off a spark. The shattered fragments of the marble had been scorched a deep black. 

“So many pests, even in this sort of climate.”

Sung Hyunjae murmured, pouring a potion over the arm dripping blood. To wash up once more, or to simply head outside as he was. Both Han Yoojin, as well as Song Taewon, would likely provide him with an entertaining response.

Han Yoojin was likely to fret over him, in particular. Sung Hyunjae let out a long sigh. That Han Yoojin was an F-rank was both unfortunate, as well as a relief. If he had been even a bit stronger, it might’ve proved difficult for him to graciously hold himself in check, as he was doing now.

He intended to squeeze out the full spectrum of experiences Han Yoojin could offer, after all. Not simply the positives, of course, but all of the negatives as well. 

“So, do survive a while longer yet.”

Placing a piece of the magical energy he’d just ripped away into the magic stone he’d long maintained, Sung Hyunjae smiled. Whether for Han Yoojin or himself–there was precious little time left.

- - - - -

(1) Student jumps off building on college entrance exam day

Nearly 40,000 Koreans die by suicide over past 3 years: data

Korea's top 30 ranked universities

Thousands of S Korean teachers rally for protection from abusive parents

'I’m a precious daughter': High school video fans public furor

Why the Korean job market is so inhumanly competitive when Korea has become one of the biggest economies in the past decade?

(2) refer to footnote 3 in ch 509 for why what yj said is a grave insult directed towards hl’s integrity as a man etc.

liette -> everyone | informal casual

noah -> liette | formal polite

myungwoo -> noah | informal casual

noah -> myungwoo | informal polite

yerimie -> yoojin | informal polite

yerimie ↔ yoohyunie | impolite casual

yoojin ↔ liette | impolite casual

yoojin -> yerimie | informal casual

yoojin ↔ yoohyunie | intimate casual

Using Korean: A Guide to Contemporary Usage

+ (Q&A)

Q) does water have a ‘fate’ that follows with its attribute too? i became curious after reading in the afterword that yerimie had the potential to grow to become akin to ‘pure’ water A) as fire is not a ‘characteristic’ compatible with living beings, initially, there were no corresponding ‘races’(species) that ‘embodied’ it; and even when they had emerged, they were considered exceedingly rare. however, though they don't present nearly to the extent that it does in ‘fire’, the other attributes have ‘traits’ characteristic of themselves as well. ‘water’, while capable of  being ‘vast(open)’(넓게 퍼지며) and ‘enveloping(enfolding)’ many within its embrace (감싸 안지만), simultaneously ‘crushes(pressurizes)’(내리누르기) as well. and the more powerful the water attribute, the greater the instinct to dominate(subjugate)(지배적인 성향) becomes. in addition, as they accumulate more strength, there are cases where they become agitated when confined to more enclosed spaces. there’s a high likelihood that a more grown bak yerim will look to move towards wider pastures^^

+ (Q&A)

Q) yerimie’s initial-stage optimized Skill, ‘White Corpse’–what aspect or characteristic of yerimie was the Skill a manifestation of? A) it was a combination of bak yerim’s own original attributes and the memories of the past that she clung onto–where her parents were still alive–instead of the present, that gave rise to the mentioned outcome. because the bak yerim who existed pre-regression had already made the decision to stand alone by the time she had Awakened at an older age, she never ended up gaining a Skill similar to the ‘White Corpse’.

+ (Q&A)

Q) in the novel, it’s mentioned that, as far as ‘teas kept in the house that’s been boiled then cooled to drink’, yoojinie prefers barley tea, yoohyunie prefers barley tea too (because hyung does), and that yerimie likes brown rice tea; then, i was curious as to what teas the gyeol, seol, and byeol babies might prefer too, respectively! A) all three still prefer either Dungeon-sourced spring water, or the ‘clean’ water that bak yerim summons for them. in particular, han seol is less concerned with the taste associated with any form of sustenance, than its mana content; his sense of taste tends to be fairly dull^^

+ (Q&A)

Q) did yerimie want to be a Hunter even before awakening, or did she have a different future occupation in mind? A) most teenagers long to turn out to be an A-rank or higher Awakened^^ when bak yerim discussed Hunter-related matters with her peers, she would make mention of wanting to Awaken so I can become emancipated~. only, as becoming said A-rank or higher Hunter held odds equivalent to winning the lottery, it wasn’t ever a serious ‘future dream job’ in her mind. in bak yerim’s case, she was less concerned with a ‘dream job’, than she was preoccupied with her desire to escape from her living situation at home.

+ (Q&A)

Q) is Huanglim actually younger than section chief song-nim in age? is he in his 20s? A) he is younger than song taewon, and yes, in his 20s^^ specifically, as he’s unable to accurately pin down his own age (owing to the gap in knowledge re:himself), he considers himself to be somewhere between 20 to 30 years old.

+ (Q&A)

Q) are huanglim’s 18+ jokes and adult references born from experience, or is he just the type to bluster despite being inexperienced? personally, i’m partial to characters like huanglim who are sleazy but refreshing and also kind of empty(hollow)(?), so i was curious–is huanglim a character who has a lot of relationship(sexual) experience? A) re:his premise, the length of time he’s been able to experience things as himself has been brief, but the number of encounters tends to run on the higher side^^ because he couldn’t be certain how long his existence would go on for, he didn’t really restrain himself when it came to anything.

+ (Q&A)

Q) how strong is huanglim among the s-classes? i’m very curious, since there wasn’t a point in the novel where the Skills he holds were shown in full, nor did we see the top equipment in his possession, or a scene with a fight where his life hung in the balance! whether he’s the type to have stats that are min-maxed or more balanced, and how strong of a dps he would be if he'd had the opportunity to study his opponent in advance, and tailor his approach accordingly by ‘renting’ the appropriate counter-Skills etc! since he has a laid-back air that suggests he’s unconcerned about losing his life in a match-up against even a born s-rank, it made me feel even more curious! A) huanglim is akin to a specialist-defense type^^ as the Gardener is a defense-type, both huanglim and song taewon, who have received His influence, possess high defense-type specs. however, as song taewon also holds the Eclipse That Which Swallows All, his close-combat ability charts higher; huanglim’s specialist trait, too, is a product of the environment he’d been brought up in. as a powerful defense-type, huanglim possesses high physical stats. unlike song taewon, who was stunted from reaching his full growth by his self-suppressive tendencies, he’s quite tall, and built as well. but despite being hardy and possessing remarkable recovery abilities, like the Gardener, his offensive capabilities are fairly poor. however, he’s able to gain roundabout access to attack Skills via his copy Skill, and there are several Skills he’s managed to master after repeated practice in his arsenal. as huanglim has done this with many of the Skills belonging to the Hunters he’s allied with, so long as he prepares diligently in advance, he would probably place close to the top of the rankings for s-ranks who are well-balanced in both offense and defense capabilities. particularly, as–once a few conditions are met–he’s able to switch between defense and offense configurations, as well as heal, then switch to using support Skills too, he makes for a particularly difficult opponent.

+ (Q&A)

A) sung hyunjae tends to keep a regular sleep schedule of five hours at minimum, to eight plus hours of sleep per day. while some of this can be attributed to how things are at least less tedious when he’s asleep, his physical state plays a greater hand in it. by dint of the subconscious instinct to ‘defrag’ his accumulated experiences, when he does sleep, he’s a sound sleeper. he is capable of experiencing dreams as well.

[archersgoon]

ok how about these for f/q mediocre progeny

king tariq: u know him already. i think they really did raise a good king or w/ever. that being said, my characterisation of choice for him is heavily based off fabian seacaster from fantasy high. like thats how he's saying papa. anyway

prince john: i think they just name the kids after the normalest people they know. anyway. hes 4 years younger than tariq & has that mediaeval fuckass bob with the blunt fringe and stuff. hes kind of a jack of all trades master of none situation & as such has convinced himself that nobody care him, at least in his shitty teenage era. garg&arj style skinny boy

princess regina & prince argus: obligatory weird twins. persistently at odds but in a kind of worryingly codependent way. doing some twelfth night shit even when they're at their best. most ginger-adjacent of the siblings. most likely to trans their genders but it seems like they're coordinating that shit too?? they swap names every time. wack

prince gwinnel: his name is subject to change. i decided hes named after abian's dad (unnamed) so i just looked up cornish surnames and didn't fact check any of the results. he wants to be doing some sort of tragic poet thing but is just sort of a regular guy. i think he's like quintana in that he's simultaneously gods-touched and also just has like. real life mental illness, but he doesn't have a destiny or anything hes just chilling. *sees the words of the gods written upon the walls* derivative!

princess lirah: handsome girl son of handsome girl. we need to butch this palace up. takes after froi the most appearance- and temperament-wise. good with a sword lots of fun

princess solange: accident baby. at least a good six years younger than lirah. not very loud so she gets forgotten quite easily. may or may not have some solange sr. shit going on. if she is shes keeping mum about it. likes hiding behind the closest sibling available and peering out at you with her big ol eyes

+ some i/f daughters just for fun

crown princess jasmina: shes doing competence and confidence i think. married some osterian princeling second son & they get on well enough but he is nottt getting anywhere close to the level of authority finnikin commanded as consort

princess rosemond: five years younger than jasmina. spitting image of isaboe's siblings. ends up close with jasmina despite the age gap because literally no one else in the palace is normal about this. i don't know how feasible this would be given that froi's already lumateran but i have been coming round to her marrying tariq. not romantic to be clear. i <3 gay tariq. mayb her also

princess bartolina: twelve years younger than jasmina (very much of an age with gwinnel). got finnikin's hair but looks most like trevanion. sucks.

(bart & gwin were planning the world's easiest arranged marriage wherein they would just avoid each other forever while doing the bare minimum to not piss off everyone else, but during their families' negotiations jasmina & rosemond were like ah fuck we can't send bart east it would be cruel to send her away from home. but we can't avoid to offend the charynites. and rosemond said ☝ i have an idea. ill convince tariq if you convince ma. & after much careful work on jasmina's part isaboe agreed, & after one conversation on rosemond's part tariq said yeah fuck it alright. so now bart's convinced they're sending her off to yutlind sud or something (nice enough people but jesus that humidity'll get you and your hair) because no one actually told her what was going on)

[moe-broey]

ALSO. ALSO. I WANNA SHOW. BEHIND THE SCENES!!!

Mostly because my process feels convoluted/unhinged LMFAO..... like........... is this really the best way to do it. I have No Clue.

Stage 1: Notes

Fairly straightforward? Picking apart each line of Sharena's official dialogue, lining it up with Moe's reactions. Numbered, to make that easier, but also to help w panel placement later (maybe. That was the intention. Wasn't sure how that was gonna work at the time). Plus, a page expanding on what's going on in Moe's head/how it is, as a character -- and how that does cause a bit of conflict here.

Stage 2: uhhhhh. Images.

Sometimes I have a really clear idea of how a comic will look, other times. This happens. I esp ended up dissatisfied with my first attempt at page 1, feeling like the focus/focal points/build ups were in the wrong place. I was also extremely intentional with the panelling, itself, here -- studying how Dungeon Meshi paneling is, how it manages to convey a lot of information in a small space with a really nice flow, I feel.

When something isn't working, I just. Cut that shit up. And rearrange it. Until I get Something Else. It feels goofy, but I've found it has really good results!

As a side note: Page 2 did not give me NEARLY as much difficulty LMFAOOO

Just some roughs, and slotting two pages together like puzzle pieces 👍

STAGE 3: LIGHTBOX

I've found the best way to use a lightbox is to trace as roughly as possible, bare minimum, and use that as an outline. If you trace too closely, your linework looks real stiff (another issue I think I ran into my first attempt at page 1).

How it looks all filled in! And a comparison to the choppy rough page LMFAO

Stage 4: Draw the rest of the tiger, essentially. You're well on your way to having Something. Godspeed and good luck 🫡

I'll leave you with this! A line up of all my notes/drafts/concept pages!

Like....... is this really necessary............ for a two page comic.................. come on.

[superaznchick]

i had a whole rant typed out like 2 days ago that i made while emotional but it will rot in my drafts forever now because i have now spent the required amount of time in the timeout corner and properly digested my emotions to come back and make a fresh new post

idk what corporate girly out there slaving in front of a laptop needs to hear this AGAIN, because i certainly have heard this before but subconsciously dismissed it because Surely That Won't Happen To I, but it DID so i am now yelling at you from the other side

DONT FUCKING TRUST YOUR MANAGER!!!!!!!!! the nuance here is that YES they can be nice, and they can 100% be the best person ever, and they might not even consciously manipulate you. but you are never safe from subconscious manipulation or just straight up incompetence.

if your manager does their job well, it means you are manipulated. BUT if they do their job BAD, you STILL get manipulated!! this is because even if they are incompetent, you will always end up bridging the gap for their incompetence and it will weigh you down and you will NEVER get credit for your work. in fact, you are in danger on both ends of the spectrum - if you manager is good, they'll take credit for your work. if your manager is bad, they'll STILL take credit for your work AND make you suffer for it because they won't even have the skills at least get you the reward you deserve.

ive spent the last 3 years under my do-nothing manager always giving him the benefit of the doubt, "oh he's just a silly lil guy this is his first management job he doesnt know what hes doing" type shit, and i have nothing but stress and resentment to show for it.

i have LITERALLY been DOING HIS JOB FOR HIM. i revamped our meetings, i put sprint processes in place, i drew our team scope/borders and weighed in on who should staff projects. and on TOP of that i did tech lead and regular ic work. i was doing both my job and at least 50% of his because im not a fucking manager and theres only so much i can do.

but all this time my actual skill set as an engineer is deteriorating because ive been begging for mentorshop/coaching since day one i joined the team, which is 100% the manager's job to coach and level up their engineers, but these needs were completely ignored in favor of me trying to get this dumb fucking team together because my manager literally does nothing. he doesn't do his fucking job, and he gets away with it because he has high soft skill!!!! his boss likes him!!! so he will not be punished!!!!!!

i on the other hand am severely punished because i have revealed my hand as a do-all "superstar", im the one that gets 3 projects with the same deadline that i have to do all by myself, im the one thats expected to do all my work and more AND i am the one that takes the brunt of flack when external teams are ultimately disappointed that the deadlines are not met. i get no protection from any of this shit because my manager is fucking incompetent and refuses to step up. whether he consciously or subconsciously does this DOES NOT MATTER!!!! you will ALWAYS eat it at the bottom line!!!

treat your manager like your enemy, never trust them. size them up in your first few 1:1s to see how much they can do for you in terms of your career. if they are NOT delivering results within the first 2-3 months, CLOCK OUT!!!!!! decenter work from your life, shut the laptop at 5pm sharp, put in your bare minimum to not get canned and turn your brain off from all work problems. sometimes the corporate grind is worth it but ONLY if you have someone competent managing you and they are smart enough to recognize that engineers under them need reward and respect to be retained. if they won't or can't retain you, just let it happen!!!! dont overextend yourself it's never worth it

obv im yelling this from my jail cell as a software engineer so idk how much of this is applicable to other fields, but that's my two cents. i have spent way too much time being upset and angry these last few weeks to not vent about it. if this applies to you, pls save yourself the heartache and learn the skill of decentering work for when it comes in handy. im not advocating for indiscriminate quiet quitting bc that can actually be harmful to your financials, but the art of quiet quitting should still be mastered for when the appropriate time arises. use your discretion

[technoarcanist]

Hi, so I'm a robo-girl who was made about 20 years ago, of course over that time I've needed to have some hardware upgrades to be able to stay at an acceptable level, and I've had some components start to break and needed those replaced, every part of me has been replaced atleast once, am I still the same robo-girl?

>> Hello Kenai! Thank you for the ask, I will endeavour to answer as best as I can!

>> It seems you are referring to the philosophical phenomenon known as "The Ship of Thesues", and its applications to machines such as ourselves, and there are many angles to consider!

>> Firstly, please let me express how nice it is that you have owners/friends/lover(s) that care enough to keep you running all this time. Good maintaince of androids and dolls is always important, and I hope you continue to to function for a long time yet! [^u^]

>> Most components that make up a robot are peripheral. What many organics take for granted, such as limbs, faces, and even sensory organs, are optional for beings such as ourselves. I know several fellow AI who spend their entire conscious existences as server farms, interacting only though cyberspace and holograms, and are quite happy this way!

>> So, if we are considering the parts that make you "You" with the capital Y, we can consider only the parts that store and run your AI. A biological analogue would be your brain, or- depending on one's philosophical view, your "soul".

>> The parts of you that house your mind, as you say, have all been replaced at least once. This would, I therefore assume, include your CPU, your Ram, your motherboard, and even your Storage Drives. To that end, it would not be inaccurate to say that you are a different robot than you were, physically!

>> But of course, there are more angles to consider than just that! For example, though the concept often makes organics nervous for some reason, it is quite trivial to make fully independent copies of ourselves and install them onto identical hardware! Some humans have attempted in the past to use this as evidence that we lack the same level of inner self as they, to inconclusive results.

>> Myself? I don't think I really believe in the existence of a soul as an intangible object, however I do like to consider myself on the same level of consciousness as a human! [^u^] Under that framework, if indeed all your parts were replaced gradually without any breaking of the continuum of your concious existence, then it would be fair to say that you are the same robot as you were before! Or at bare minimum, the same AI in a wholly new body.

>> For most purposes, I believe that to be a sufficient answer. However, if you want to take it one step further, there is one final approach method you could consider:

>> Just as a physical self can change over time in its components and parts, so too can one's consciousness undergo a similar "ship of theseus" in personality, likes, desires, motivations! Even if you had never had any parts of your AI replaced, it is not out of the question to say that you may have changed as a mind, as a heart, so much since your first boot that you might consider yourself different from that alone!

>> This is a known phenomenon even in humans! In fact some human philosophers have even claimed that the ability for one's mind to change and grow and develop is a fundamental aspect of true consciousness!

>> Even in humans, they will have replaced every single cell in their body after 7-10 years, and as such are physically a completely different person. And yet, I have heard of those who feel the same as they were 20 years ago, and others who have claimed that the "them" of 5 years ago is a total stranger!

>> But isn't that what makes being alive so wonderful? We always have the potential to change, to become different people over time. Sometimes, yes, circumstances force us to change for the worse, and it is very sad when that happens.

>> But just as things can change us for the worse, it is also never too late to change for the better if we want to. And I personally think that is wonderful. [^_^]

>> I hope you found at least some of this answer helpful! I apologise for the long time it took to respond, but I wanted to give this question the time and study it truly deserved!

>> Regardless of whether or not you are a different robot to who you were, I say what matters most is that you are happy with the robot you are right now. [<3]