#the end is bullshit but you’re 100% still in the game brother

[mortifry]

Since Fallout was such a hit I double dog dare Bethesda to make Prey (2017) an eight-episode mini-series where the first couple episodes shows Morgan before the experiment and then we instantly get dropped into it without any transition so nobody knows what the fuck is going on until the end and then everybody is like what the fuck and also Morgan is a girl

[autocon23]

I’m Literally In Hell

I have so many goddamn work in progress fics that I have quite a bit of work done already (though, I’m not ready to post any of them, other than the multipart series that many of you already know about). So, you know what? You all get to know what I’m doing and can tell me I’m a psychopath bc I think I need to be put in the incomplete fanfic shame corner or something.

So, here we go….

Boondock Saints/The Walking Dead crossover: I’m not even going to attempt to explain this bullshit. If you’re curious, feel free to head to my AO3 to read it and tell me that I have no life (I will agree 100% bc I almost NEVER go out and socialize). It’s a Darly/Connor/OC/Murphy series that I’ve been writing since the end of 2020. I’m actually really happy how the series has turned out and I still have so much planned that I can hardly wait for you to read. And the fact that all you awesome people have consistently given it such an amazing amount of love for it that I hope that I will always continue to make you all excited everytime I post a new chapter.

Naruto: So, I actually have two fics being written for it. Both I really like and wrote quite a bit for them. Still working on it as I keep bouncing around to different areas of the timeline.

A. I Will Carry This Burden So You Don’t Have To: this is actually the second Naruto fic that I’m writing. It’s an Uchiha OC who’s Sasuke/Itachi’s older cousin and had been the next head of the Uchiha clan. Her father was the head, but died either before or during the Third Ninja War (still trying to figure out timeline stuff for that area) so after her father’s death, Fugaku (her uncle) takes over as temporary head of the clan until OC is ready. She even ends up as the 4th Hokage’s personal assistant for a short time period. Of course we all know how things actually happen. OC ends up adopting Naruto (despite the 3rd’s and Danzo’s attempts to prevent her). She’s close with Itachi and Sasuke and when the Uchiha clan is massacred, she adopts Sasuke as well. It’s lots of angst in this fic specifically at how helpless and furious OC is about what happens during the story. I’m still debating on a ship. I’m stuck between Kakashi/OC, Gai/OC, or Kakashi/OC/Gai.

B. Kitsune Uzumaki: this is the first one and I’ve got lots of fun stuff for this one. OC is the twin sister to Naruto and is a jinchuuriki as well. They both have the nine tails sealed in them. I changed some parts of the timeline here as well, but it’s mostly just lengthening the time between the Chuunin exams and when Sasuke left the village to join Orochimaru. Basically aging all the characters up a little by a couple years before Shippuden. This is an OC/Kakashi/Yamato fic.

3. Supernatural: I’ve got two fics for this one as well.

A. RW: this is a sister!Winchester fic. Got lots of fun stuff going on with this one.

B. Fuck You, Chuck: this one I recently came up with a couple months back. OC is a girl from our world in the year 2023 to SPN in 2005. She knows everything that’s going to happen in the show. At first she plays along, but then she starts trying to figure out ways to change things.

4. Mass Effect: oh, I had so many goddamn ideas popping up into my head every time I pull up the game to play. It’s a fucking menace, but I love this series greatly.

A. The Saviors of The Galaxy Were Raised By A Krogan (Fuck The Council): I got three Shepard OCs (male twins and their adopted younger sister) who are all working together to save this shit galaxy from the Reapers. As the title suggests, they were adopted by a Krogan. Wrex specifically bc he’s the best and deserves all the love. It mostly follows the fem!shep OC of the story, but I do try to give the older brothers plenty of attention in the story.

B. Haley’s Comet: this takes place in Mass Effect: Andromeda. Alec Ryder actually has three kids in this story. First is Sara and Scott Ryder, the original protagonists of the game that the audience usually follows. Then, there’s OC, who’s the younger sister of the twins that I named Haley. She’s 15 when she’s put in cryo to head to Andromeda and is the one who ends up the new Pathfinder. I’m debating on whether to keep Alec dead like he is in the game or maybe change it up and have him survive Habitat 7 and just give him hell since he can’t be Pathfinder anymore due to the injuries he’d received during the mission on Habitat 7. Really heavy on the found family trope and quite a bit of angst as it follows Haley who struggles to be Pathfinder while trying to not have some kind of resentment or anger towards her father and even her older siblings due to how they all ended up in the Andromeda program.

5. DC Universe: I’ve got two fics for this one. Both with the same OC, Amelia Ryder, and ship, OC/John Constantine. This is mostly because I ended up getting really attached to freaking John Constantine. I apparently have a weakness for accents and blue eyes (kill me please). She’s also a badass sorceress (well, she becomes one eventually) and can use magic.

A. Legends of Tomorrow: Amelia becomes a member of the Legends. She’s picked up at the start by Captain Hunter with the rest of the crew in Season 1. There’s mention of her past in season 1, but after the Time Masters are dealt with, her past is left exactly where she wants it: in the past. So, it’s really more of Amelia ending up finding the family that she’s truly yearned for while also getting confidence in herself and her own agency/independence. Of course, lots of drama between her and Constantine when he finally pokes his head up. Lots of fun moments and angst. Smut too.

B. DC Animated Universe: this uses Amelia as well, because I really had a lot of fun coming up with her character background. Except instead of being a time traveling badass, she ends up becoming the Justice League’s secretary. It mostly follows the animated movies, but I’ll follow certain arcs. This actually delves more into Amelia’s history and she does a lot of healing once her past catches up with her.

6. Haikyuu: I’m working on only one for now, but I have a couple that I want to do. Only one is probably going to be a bit on the long side while the others will probably be a bit shorter, but follows the main story quite a bit. The one I’m working on is called “Our Coach is a High School Student”. Lots of fun stuff planned for that one. I had to change my OC’s name bc a Haikyuu fic that I read god knows how long ago had updated and it turns out that that they used the same name as me. So that was fun.

7. My Hero Academia: I got two fics for this one too (geez almost every fandom I’m doing as two fics I think I need help)

A. Sakura Midoriya: sister!Midoriya fic. She’s Deku’s twin sister and quirkless as well. That’s currently what I’m working on bc I recently binged MHA and have been rabid with my writing. I’m stuck between a couple ships to do, but I’m leaning towards OC/Todoroki or maybe OC/Todoroki/Bakugo. Though, I do really like KiriBaku, but I also really like KiriMina.

B. Untitled: I haven’t started actually writing this yet. Mostly bc I haven’t gotten around to it again. It’s another sister!Midoriya fic, but it falls under the Inko Midoriya Adopts Everybody. I even have a general timeline. The biggest thing I’m struggling to figure out is how to continue the OFA/AFO stuff. Who will be AFO’s successor? Do I keep Izuku as the OFA successor? I def have a few things planned, but main storyline from MHA is what I need to figure out.

8. Marvel: I had an idea for a MCU fic. It’s similar to the DCAU where the Avengers get a secretary. Though, I had thought of having them get a therapist, but I don’t know if I can write therapists/therapy sessions very well. So, it might lean towards secretary. Though, this is still benched for now.

Please for the love of god or whatever put me out of my misery lol

[sexintheraine]

Thank you for everything that you made me feel.

For making me feel alive again after all that I thought was everything, turned out to be less than anything.

The small moments I’ve had with you have made me realize that it’s ok to trust someone again, to feel heard and supported and thought of.

You saying that I deserve open communication and someone’s time and what you’re going through doesn’t take away from how you feel about me, made me fall even harder for you.

You said you wouldn’t handle the dismay like he did. You said I didn’t have to worry about you. And I believed you. I still believe you.

I want to see you. But I don’t want to be overbearing or the only one asking you for your time. I want you to want to steal mine too.

I was okay while I was sick because I slept my days away. I was doing everything I could to get back to healthy. I’m still not 100% yet. But 98% I would say.

I miss your taste. I miss the small glances you’d take when you thought I wouldn’t know. I miss the way I fit perfectly under your arm as you walk me to my car. And the kiss you steal before I watch you disappear and I drive home. I miss your possession.

I want you to stay the night. I want to wake up next to you. I want you to hold me close while we sleep. Legs and bodies tangled.

I want to road trip with you and get away from the noise.

I want to go play billiards at the pool hall near your place.

I want to take that trip to China to steal a piece of the Great Wall.

I want you to be my wedding date to my best friends wedding in August.

I’m afraid I’m no longer falling for you. I’m afraid I’m completely locked in. I’m afraid I can’t help it. I want to run around Piedmont park and have a nerf battle.

I want to watch Kentucky games and take Ruger to the dog park. I want to see movies and hang at the pool when it opens.

For my birthday; I would love to go to my parents cabin with you for a weekend getaway if we can swing it.

I want to watch a match of yours at the gun range.

Maybe go roller blading or ice skating. I wish I knew how you felt about roller coasters…

I want you to meet my parents and my brothers and I want to meet your sisters and yours.

Maybe we go to New York to visit our siblings together. Spend a day with yours and with mine.

I want to dream of the possibilities with you again.

I’ll never look at spicy food and not think of you.

When I send a long text, I’ll wish for your lengthy responses.

I’m not sure what will happen with us next,,, but if I never see you again, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for recognizing what I deserve.

Thank you for making me feel alive.

Thank you for giving me comfort in the midst of bullshit outside of us.

Thank you for being a gentleman.

If this is the end of our beginning…. You still owe me a gladiators game when we cross paths again.

And thank you for being kind hearted and passionate.

You definitely made an impact on me. Even though I’m surprised by the speed. I’m grateful for it. I don’t know where you came from. And I hate to see you go. So I’m hopeful that you don’t. But days are hard when I don’t hear from you now. And that’s how I know I’m no longer falling. I have already hit the ground and now I’m figuring out how to step forward without being too much. — and then the intrusive thoughts take over and I start to wonder if you want to step forward at all.

Of course you do. Your stress level just peaks every week that goes by without the security.

I met you when you were in your element. Making tons and working for a company you respected and felt proud to be a part of despite the desire to change course.

I met you when the dating scene had exhausted you and all these girls were portraying someone they’re not.

I met you and immediately heard your pet peeves. You met me and found my preferences. - there’s always more to learn…. But what I know about you, absolutely intrigues me.

What I know about your family, makes me want to stay so you don’t have to weather the storm alone. Not because you can’t. But because you shouldn’t have too.

I’m one hundred percent overthinking this. We’re not even serious yet. But I wish we were. I wish you owed me the respect of breaking it off if this isn’t what you want. I wish I felt like I could come and be there for you without you having to ask me.

I called the other night because I got off early and my night freed up. I debated not, only for not wanting to look clingy and weird. I’m sure you were busy. I actually know you to be a busy guy. And I LIKE THAT. I’m a busy girl too.

I guess I just miss your voice and the potential of being something wonderful that we have had. its been pretty hard being away from you and I just hope you don’t disappear completely.

… I really hope I see you soon.

I’m still rooting for me and you.

You might not want to put me through the wildness of it all. But I’m asking you to do it.

Choose me.

Tell me how I make you feel.

Show me your fears and your feelings.

Breathe me in.

Stay.

Choose the unknown ahead with me.

Choose the known. Show me what you’re thinking and how you’re navigating. Show me glimpses of your world and your thoughts. Hold me while I show you mine.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 6

“A Study in Pink”

Immediately, I like how more drawn out the opening sequence is. John is so much more of a mess than in the unaided pilot, and it looks like he’s actually trying to write in his blog

Mmmmm and the classic opening theme sequence

Man, the amount of things they cut out, like actually seeing the circumstances the victims were in and the Scotland Yard press conference.

I don’t know that I’d just let some stranger text from my phone without good reason…and not having a signal in a basement in a large city just doesn’t cut it for me, I think…

All of John’s concerns about going to look at the flat are valid and YET HE DOES STILL GO ALONG WITH IT

“Yeah, he’s always like that,” and again JOHN STILL WENT. Secret good fourth episode (or season 5) pull throuuuuugh

I’d love to live that close to a little sandwich shop

Oh and there’s the 221b I rememberrrrrrr

Is all of this queerbait-y as hell? Obviously, but am I understanding more now why people shipped it in the first place? Yeaaahhhhhhhh

What IS the cinematography in this sometimes??? It’s so odd

Also why is it night all of a sudden?? It was like early afternoon when they got in the cab

Ok. THE scene with the phone deduction. He calls it a shot in the dark to deduce Harry’s alcohol dependence, but then says that a sober person would never have those particular scratches on their phone, so now…now I think he’s an extension of the Gilmore family in Gilmore Girls or an Aaron Sorkin character: talk quickly and confidently enough and you’ll sound like you know what you’re talking about

Another difference in between the unaired pilot and this is when Sherlock talks to Anderson and Donovan. He may have been brash and blunt in the pilot, but it felt like more of a retort back to them. Here he relishes in his cruelty. Pilot Sherlock is far more human, and I think they should have kept some of that

I take back what I said about keeping the scenes of Sherlock searching for the pink suitcase. Those can fuck right off because now we’re gonna get MYCROFT.

That chat between Sally and John is…like how long do you think Moffat was just FOAMING at the mouth writing that or remembering he wrote that when it came time for The Reichenbach Fall?? Between the “we’ll be standing around a body and Sherlock Holmes will be the one who put it there” and “he’s a psychopath. Psychopaths get bored.” But that second one for Moriarty…god, he must have been insufferable to be around

Legitimately obsessed with the Mycroft and John dynamic immediately. I love that Mycroft is playing this game for his brother’s sake. This level of drama? This is not for Mycroft. It’s 100% for Sherlock, but also John is having none of it. He just got ditched by one Holmes brother, he doesn’t have time for this one’s bullshit, even if he doesn’t realize he’s a Holmes

(How am I less than half way through the episode???)

Sherlock realizing it was Mycroft after hearing archenemy. Pure sibling behavior

The restaurant and restaurant owner in the pilot were better…that restaurant was so cozy and the owner so giddy and warm and lovable. These don’t stack up…

They really do the weirdest, dumbest things with the camera sometimes. And we all thought it was brilliant at the time

I think the worst part is that this episode is actually very good…and it all ends with the travesty that is season four. It’s not above reproach, but this episode IS good

The switch to make the murderer connected to Moriarty was a good one. AND the one to make Sherlock under less duress during the game. It’s a lot more interesting if it’s about his ego

God that got long…

[ray-ray-writings]

i really just love some sbi...maybe a drabble of the reader being awake for like 40+ hours and they’re streaming? so their chat is like spamming “go to beddd” and the reader is stubborn but eventually all of the sleepybois join her vc and are like “go to bed rn” so she does and they all express their concern afterwards and the reader confesses that they are feeling like they aren’t good enough and have to keep streaming and they all comfort her? reader is tommy’s age btw !

This is such a good idea lol... P.S. Enjoy this hurt/comfort because I have an SBI imagine coming out tonight and it’s all hurt and like very little comfort... It’s so sad guys... But enjoy this now lol. 

So like I imagine that you wake up at 7 am, do your things to get ready for school, and go to school. You’re in school till three and then you get home, grab a snack, and go to your room and begin your stream. You do a lot of things on your stream which causes your stream to go for nine hours. Thank god it was Friday and you didn’t have school the next morning. But you’re yawning so much that chat begins to beg you to end stream and get rest. You try to brush them off, but they threaten to get Philza and so you huff and say your goodbyes before ending your stream with the promise that you were going to go to sleep… Yeah you lied.

Instead of getting into bed, you down a few energy drinks and begin editing for a new video you wanted to upload. That takes a few hours and so by the time you’re done, you realize the sun has come up and you’ve been editing for many many hours and have been up for over 24 hours. Regardless of the fact you’re tired, you are like, “well I can’t go to sleep now! That would throw off my sleep schedule, and I wouldn’t be able to stream and that would disappoint a lot of people... plus I’m not tired!” And so you begin making more content that you plan on uploading. As well as doing some of your school work. After a while, you glance at the time and realize you have to start stream soon. So you quickly save everything that you’re working on, go to the bathroom, go to the kitchen, grab a few snacks and some more energy drinks before heading back to your bedroom and beginning to stream again. So for a while you’re playing your games and talking to chat and somehow, probably because a donation asked you how your night went, but you let it slip that you didn’t actually go to sleep the night before and chat explodes. They beg you to go to bed and get the rest that you need and so very much deserve, but you ignore them. “Guys, I’m fine! I’m not even *big yawn* that tired… okay I know that looks bad but seriously I’m *yawn*.... Chat please” But they don’t stop spamming, asking you to go to sleep, but you refuse. You think that if you don’t stream, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked so hard to build. Your fans would slowly realize how bad of a streamer you are and you would lose everything. While you’re lost in your thoughts, people have started to spam the Sleepy boys, explaining what was happening. Philza is the first to see the worried tweets and immediately contacts Wilbur, Techno, and Tommy asking if they know about what’s happening. They don’t and so they decide to ring you as a group, after all if they all ask you to go to bed, there is no way you’ll be able to say no to them. You get a text from Philza asking you to join a Discord call and your attention snaps to chat. “Alright, which one of you snitched on me to my dad? What?” You demand, imitating a Tiktok you once saw. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw2v42-nG4c . Your phone buzzes again and this time it’s Wilbur also asking you to join the call. “And my brother’s too?” Chat begs you to join the call and so you let out a sigh and do what you’re told. As soon as you join the call, Wilbur’s voice fills your ears, “What are you doing awake?” “It’s nice to see you too Will… Techno, Phil, Tommy…” you greet, ignoring the question. “Go to sleep. You haven’t slept in 36 hours.” Techno deadpans. “Coming from your Mr. Insomniac” you shoot back. “Sleep” Tommy demands causing you to roll your eyes. “No” you mock, “I’m *yawn* fine guys. Really thanks for the check in, but I’m *yawn* fine.” “Those two yawns say otherwise.” Nothing seems to be working so Phil pulls out the big guns. “I will call your parents if you do not end your stream this instant and go to bed.” And you know he isn’t joking and if he does that, you’re parents will ground you. So you let out a defeated sigh but mute and deafen yourself in discord, wishing chat, who is now celebrating, a goodnight before ending stream. You unmute and undeafen in discord to wish the others a goodnight. “Goodnight Y/N… One question before you go though… Why would you do that to yourself. You obviously knew you needed to sleep, why push yourself like that. You know your fans would understand” Phil asks softly. And you don’t know if it’s the gentleness of the question or the fact you hadn’t slept in 36 hours, but you burst into tears. The boys let you cry it out, all a bit worried but not wanting to pressure you into talking or wanting you to feel bad. Once your sobs calm down, you apologize, “Sorry. Sorry. I’m just overly tired and emotional… But… It’s just that I’m not good. I’m not good enough. And I know that. I really do. But somehow my fans don’t. So I have to keep it up and push myself because if I don’t they’ll realize. They will realize I’m a fraud and that I’m not good enough and they’ll leave me and then you guys will leave me too and I’ll just lose you and I can’t handle that… Sorry, you probably don’t care. You didn’t need me to dump that on you like that… sorry.” The boys are silent for a moment. Their hearts ache at the confession. How could you not think that you’re good enough? You’re such a good and dedicated streamer and it shows in the content that you produce. It’s actually Tommy that’s the first to talk. “That’s bullshit” “Tommy!” the other three scold. “It is! Y/N is such a good streamer, one of the best on the platform! And they’re still so young! You’re fans aren’t going to hate you because you take time for yourself. In fact they’ll probably be more irritated if you don’t take care of yourself. You’re a good streamer Y/N… A great one. Of course you’re good enough. And you’re never going to lose us… We love you. You’re one of us.” Everyone is shocked at Tommy’s mature words. But they agree 100%. “He’s right kiddo, you’re never going to lose us. And you are a good streamer, but in order to be that good streamer you have to take care of yourself.” Philza chimes in. “Phil is also right. Do you know how hard chat bullies me when I don’t take care of myself? Really hard. Our fans love us and they want what is best for us. Taking care of yourself is a must kid.” Techno jumps in. “What they said” Wilbur deadpans causing everyone to break into laughter. “What? It’s true! You all said everything I was going to say! Stop laughing at me!” He whines, causing you to laugh harder. “Thank you boys. I feel a lot better… I’m going to go to sleep now… For real this time. Thank you. I love you.” “We love you too” they all chime back. “Goodnight” “Goodnight” and then you disconnect from the call. Sitting in your chair for a moment, allowing you to collect yourself before standing from the chair and wandering over to your bed and collapsing, your eyes closing and body shutting down into sleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. You were really lucky to have such amazing friends… Goodnight reader. Goodnight.

[krysphycookiez]

bts | you as the female maknae

synopsis: you’ve become the female maknae of the famous worldwide sensation bts! let’s see how well you get along with these crackhead boys

genre: fluff, platonic, imagines

pairing: bts x maknae!reader

a/n: nothing much to be said except i pulled this out of my ass to make content for all y’all

❣︎

the moment seokjin saw you he already claimed you as his child, no questions asked

even though you’re only like- a year younger than jungkook, he babies you WAY more than him, and you don’t mind really

he would take you to do some of his favorite things with him like cook or even clean the dorms

also if anyone hurts you in any way, shape or form they are getting their shit rocked by seokjin’s- rather colorful vocabulary

also nags you a lot, especially during your early debut days when you were still in school

he just doesn’t want you to be lost in life that’s all, and he shows that really well

he raised you very well since your debut with him and the boys and he just wants you to be happy

definitely favors you a lot more than the others and the bias is super obvious. he once bought you a shit ton of snacks for your birthday and the rest of the members were shocked af

this of course means you bicker a lot with him like jungkook, the two of you even sometimes team up to go against your hyung

but he also knows when you’re feeling down because his parent instincts kick in, he knows when you’re feeling down the dumps so he does something to cheer you up

whether it’s make you crack up with a stupid dad joke or buy your favorite drink, he’d do anything for his baby

definitely screams a lot when he’s with you too

like- y’all can’t hide how much of a pissbaby the two of you are, that’s easily demonstrated in that one run bts episode with the zombies

overall he’s like an older brother to you and despite the bickering, he still luvs you so much

yoongi is soft for you and you only

definitely let’s you sleep with him in his bed when you have a nightmare, because he’s an expert at bedtime cuddles

also let’s you mess around in his production studio, and maybe even lets you help him compose a few tracks

if you aren’t a rapper he probably teaches you some basics about rapping and later on becomes a proud dad when you show off in front of the other members

he also probably makes tae jealous too lmao, give the boy some love

if you’re upset or angry at the other members he’s one of two members that can calm you down, just because he’s really calm and knows how to handle your emotions

also definitely spoils you with snacks and drinks too

and he’s also the reason why you develop led your evil maknae side

back then you were so shy and pure but then he came into your life with his savage ways and sarcastic remarks. he rubbed off of you too much

also if anyone dares to hurt you he’s throwing hands. this bitch is really scary, he will give haters a death glare if they even LOOK at you

you definitely cling onto him like a baby sloth at times when you’re in the clingy mood, and he just kinda lets you hang onto him until you go to another member

and he also teases you at times to when he’s feeling pretty bold

such as your height or your age and this sometimes leads to insult battles, it’s a 50/50 win for the most part

for the most part, yoongi is like your cool uncle and he will cut a bitch if someone even lays a finger on you in a threatening way

when you and hoseok are put together in the same room, nothing but sunshine and happiness radiates form the two of you

both of you are the residential mood makers of bts, and it really shows

back then when you were really shy, hoseok was the first to approach you and ever since then you’ve become a happy ball of fluff

he definitely hugs you a lot and does a lot of aegyo with you, or even hug you to show that you’re not alone

if you buy him sprite he’ll go nuts

this man loves his energetic drink and he will forever love someone who gets him that monstrous drink

you probably tried to give him monster energy at one point but he complained about the battery acid taste

LOVES spoiling you with gifts, try not to let him spoil you too much or the other members might get jealous

when you’re feeling under the weather he will be there in a flash to make sure you’re well enough and give you some chocolate to make you a bit happier

will shower you with love and affection at all times- especially on vlive cause he wants to make sure you’re loved

and you are trust me

you remind him of a happy little puppy and he just thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever cause he likes animals

and also he definitely will throw hands at haters- this man is scary when he’s mad

he’s like an equivalent to an older brother to you and it’s so endearing

take namjoon’s being done with the members bullshit 24/7 tendencies and mutiply that by 100 when he’s with you

you always do the most random shit around him its hilarious. whether it’s playing with his hair or just clinging onto him a lot

of course he still loves you he just always looks tired when you start being you

also definitely has helped you with your homework in the past cause he’s too smart for his own good

you once asked him to help you help with a cell mode project cause it was supposed to be big but yours just looked like an oversized bean

he thought it was adorable and funny so he helped you

also you go on beach walks with him when in a country with beaches, prolly looking for crabs too lol

you have definitely crashed one of his studio vlives and did something random, like how tae did

when you’re feeling sick he along with seokjin will nurture you back to health. he gets the medicine and stuff while seokjin makes you a nice warm meal

you have definitely made jokes where you are their child and they are the parents at it always results in a hell from the older male

you have probably given him a few ideas on some of the popular tracks like pied piper and black swan

you have a creative mind so when namjoon is feeling blank he turns to you for help, hell you even helped a lot with the hyyh era

and he’s also at ease when he’s around you because you smell like roses- sounds a little weird but it’s the smell of a lovely flower

namjoon would like to care for you like your a kid or his own little sister and be your guardian angel

first thoughts when you both saw each other; omg so cute

you and jimin are such sofies for each other it’s so adorable, always clinging onto each other and just being two puppies

of course that can always switch and the two of you can become such a petty and savage duo

the members definitely tease you two the most due to your smaller heights, which the worked the two of you to prank them a lot

never yoongi though, he’s scary asf

you two also have a lot of movie marathons, especially the avengers movies cause they are some of the best

if you’re a main dancer you two probably do a lot of dancing together in your free time, maybe even some crack dances as well

a little bit of playful flirting here and there, he’s so shameless when he’s around you it’s unreal

has also picked you up at one point and threw you over his shoulder just cause he wanted to prove to jk he’s not a weak midget

CUDDLES 24/7! both of you initiate a lot of platonic skinship it’s just become a habit at this point. also you two have definitely slept in the same bed before while cuddling

jimin is very emotionally intelligent, so he automatically knows when you’re in a bad mood or when you just feel sad. he’s the member trusted the most too to take care of you during- uh- your time of the month

he just wants you to be happy so he’ll gladly help you with any of your needs, even if it’s kinda unpleasant

seeing that both of you both had a lot of struggles, you two were very close and i guess that’s what made you guys click

jimin would be the shoulder you can cry on and your lovable squishy best friend

taehyung would be one of your bestest friends, even during trainee days

expect he was shy to you at first cause you were very young and he didn’t want to give the wrong impression on you

but overtime he grew to be his childish and weird self that we all love, and the two of you always lighten up the mood along with hoseok

definitely takes you on shopping dates when he gets the chance and probably makes you try on 1000 gucci clothes

sometimes you end up buying them but it’s a relatively small amount

also you like going to the food courts with him because you guys just have very light-hearted conversations while enjoying yourselves some delicious food

if he knows something is up with you but the others don’t notice, he would go and tell them to take care of it cause he doesn’t think he can’t comfort you well enough

but in reality he’s really good at talking with you, that 10% of genius shines in him and he manages to figure out what made you upset and help you

yeontan probably likes you a bit more than the other members cause of taehyung, and that’s a feat he’s proud of

both you and him also play a lot of games together with jungkook, and a lot of screaming to

the others think you’re getting murdered at times it’s funny

tae would also initiate skinship with you, though not as much as jimin, he prefers to just hug you and hold your hand

also if you’re a rapper he definitely asks you to teach him how to rap and sometimes it can be so chaotic

taehyung would be a really good friend to you and like a warm older brother

you and jungkook are the maknaes on top, even though there’s a one year difference

despite your close relationship, you two didn’t get along at first due to different views on certain things

but overtime your relationship mended and now the two of you are the closest friends can get

due to your young ages you use this to your advantage to get anything you want from the members

also, take your pranking with jimin and multiply that by a million cause hoo boy you two cause A LOT of chaos

skinship and platonic kisses for days off camera. he really loves you a lot and just prefers to show it off camera cause he’s a shy baby

you steal his hoodies and shirts a lot cause they are comfy and he either complains or just lets you take them

both of you have friendly competitions whenever you are competing for the members love and affection

which can lead to rather intense insult battles and the others watch in amusement

both of you are so close you two can just tell how you’re feeling with just one look in the eyes, and even communicate through facial expressions

yeah you guys are that close, and the other members haven’t fully accomplished a feat like that yet so they are amazed

jungkook also is pretty possessive of your guy’s friendships and often scares off others, even his fellow 97 liners

but in reality he’s just a soft bunny baby that doesn’t want you to leave him

you two probably had some dating rumors surrounding you, but at the end of the day nothing will change your guy’s amazing friendship

❣︎

wooooo we got another female maknae au! with bts, sorry i don’t have anything else, i have a one shot idea planned with yeonjun, taehyun and hyuka so please stick around for that!

this is @/krysphycookiez logging off... ♡︎

[dreamii-yume]

New Episode Update Let’s GOO!!!

Warning : This is just Yume having a mental breakdown, seriously. This episode update was WHACK.

~ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 68-75 ~

I know we ain’t participating and all but the game reminding you that there’s 10 minutes left to prepare is seriously bad for my heart.

Aah, shiet. Vil is still hurt.

He still has small wounds and scratches that he hid make up. Daddy, I’m worried.

Apparently, yeah, I’m not the only one cause my homeboy, Epel just asked to switch the center role with Vil. THE CONFIDENCE.

Aw, he’s worried about him falling over during stage (And make the performance look bad) Come on, Epel just be honest-

...He finally became the ideal poisoned apple that Vil wanted, huh?

Vil being proud a mom.

But the queen inside him is STRONG.

He’ll embrace the villain in him, OUR QUEEN CAN STILL GO. INJURED, WHO?

...AAND he proceeds to roast Epel again lol Typical Vil.

I love how Epel just accepted a nickname like “Doku Ringo-chan” lol It’s so cute, senior-junior relationship goals right there.

HERE WE GO.

Everyone is actually really confident hahaha

I really wish Deuce’s mom, Ace’s brother, Jamil’s sister, and Vil’s dad were here in person to watch.

HECK I WANT KALIM’S WHOLE FAMILY HERE WHY NOT

T-THEY’RE REALLY LETTING US HEAR THE FULL SONG. 

IS THAT JAMIL RAPPING.

Look at Jamil’s solo SD dancing. LOOK AT IT.

I really fucking love Vil’s singing voice aaa

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD.

Album when disney.

Is Vil okay.

...aight im hearing some high quality panting here

...dont mind me listening to it a bit too much...

...they’re going to be great reference for some spicy- leave me alone

Vil panting is making me feel SOMETHING.

ANYWAY. THE CROWD IS A MOOD.

IS VIL OKAY.

Unmei no megami is giving me idia ptsd here.

Heartslabyul Senpais are watching their kids, looking all proud *sniff

Oh god, after playing Obey Me, it just occurred to me how similar Cater and Asmodeus’ voices are...

Watch these Senpai dorks act like Ace and Deuce’s second family. Trey being the dad, Riddle being the mom, and Cater being the supportive big bro. It’s so beautiful.

Riddle’s voice is a lot more softer now, I just realized...It’s so soothing...

God i miss u too octavinelle never change

Yeah, why tf did Floyd not audition for this

Bro, can you imagine Nobuhiko Okamoto in the squad as well??? IMAGINE-

Of course, he wasn’t in the mood back then. Of course. Why did i even ask.

IMAGINE FLOYD BEING IN VDC NEXT YEAR.

Omg i miss u too octavinelle never change

Azul’s gonna overblot again with Floyd’s marketing skills lol

Jade coming in like welp i guess thats that. Too bad, huh Azul?

GOD i miss u too octavinelle never change

SAVANA BITCHES HI

I wonder if these mfs knew that Vil just overblotted and malmal was the one who fixed the stage lol

oooh Leona’s sus about something he a sharp boi

Speak up my guy—

still so weird leona taking his job seriously

Malleus looking happier seeing this performance rather than Lilia’s lol

I miss the simpery in Sebek

Silver’s not in the verge of falling into a coma for once wow

Chenya’s so cute.

AND WE’RE BACK TO CUTE HEIGH HO TEAM

fcking shotacons man...im not one to talk

Aw, they didn’t show Neige performance...

The simping in the crowd is a MASSIVE mood.

WHO WINS TELL ME

These night raven fuckers better vote for us and not pull a “oh shie my hand slipped lololol” i swear to god- im gonna throw hands

*me holding my phone and pretending to vote as well

Suspense music intensifies be like-

HAAA

BOIS, ITS ONE VOTE DIFFERENCE WHO IS IT AAAA

WHAT.

HOW DARE- HOW!? HOW DID WE LOSE!?

WE LOST BY ONE VOTE!?

EVERYONE’S SO SHOCKED LOL

vil pls dont overblot again-

Noooo grim’s tuna cans-

WE REALLY LOST TO A LEGIT KIDS SONG.

These children do not have the right to be this cute. I wanna take Timmy, Toby, and Shelpie home.

I swear to god one of these dwarves sounds like Cheka lol Is it Toby?

EPEEELLLL DONT CRRYYYY

KALIMMMM DONT CRRYYYY

KALIM HAVING THE AUDACITY TO SOUNDING LIKE A BIG BROTHER AND THEN CRYING HIS OWN RIGHT AFTER LOLOLOL

I HATE THIS EPISODE YALL MADE MY TWO BOIS CRY IM FIGHTING THIS EPISODE. BURN THIS.

This background music too though im deeeeddd

KALIM IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING A SINFIC ABOUT YOU PLS DONT CRY-

Jamil impressed about Vil being “calm” and Vil just going “h e h. you dont even know.”

....ha...

Monsieur Rook. WHAT did you say.

ROOK VOTED FOR ROYAL SWORD. Are you kidding me. You snek how could you- i loved you

WHAT DID I SAY- Ya’ll night raven fuckers shall not slip by their fingers when voting rook.

Vil is in the brink of passing out aaaaa

I have never heard Ace this pissed before whoa- lol he sounds like Deuce in his delinquent mode

Aw...Rook felt that Neige’s performance carries a stronger bond than theirs :’( it’s hard to put the blame on him when he’s saying all these stuff

It’s just like what they said in the past episodes that it’s really hard voting for your own team when you know the opposing team is better.

Aww...He just wanted Vil to believe in himself more...Rook is such a best man. Im crying-

Oh noooo is Vil gonna cry too nooo- daddy turned to baby really quick SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN EMERGENCY HUG

Well- at least...at least the 100 year record of not being able to win is still going, yeah? Um...bad joke? Sorry, i’ll see myself out-

NEIGE NOT NOW AND YOUR VII-KUN BULLSHIT- we’re having a moment here

Neige is such sweetheart but aaaahh— This makes it worse, we can’t even hate him aaa—

OMG JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T- AAAAA

MONSIEUR ROOK. YOU’RE A FAN OF NEIGE!?

MOTHERFUCKER just got exposed by Neige himself lol

Going to Neige’s shake hand events, sending him letters, buying all his merch and shie- HE’S A FULL BLOWN NEIGE STAN

WTF YOU SNEK GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL-

OOOOHHH THAT FUCKING ALBUM- HIS “LIFE’S WORK” or whatever bullshit IS FULL OF NEIGE

...actually- my japanese is lacking- im not sure lol what is a ブロマイド??? Lol I feel like a clown.

Rook is sweating profusely LOL

...what do you have to say for yourself, monsieur rook.

Wait- huh is that-

IS HE GONNA CRY-

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!??!?!?!

HE’S SILENTLY CRYING AS HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO NEIGE WHAT. THE. FUCK IS THIS EPISODE.

Neige fanclub??? Eternal Snow??? What kind of creepy-ass- OH, HE EVEN HAS A MEMBERSHIP NUMBER TOO-

Props to Neige with his :) expression unfaltering.

I’m- I’m speechless.

Vil is just looking down at Rook in disappointment like- “you’re more pathetic than I am”

Queen just went “I think you need this handkerchief more than I do now” THAT’S RIGHT. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

Rook crying is cursed.

But damn, I’m kinda liking this new relationship this bitchy relationship they have

Neige just dragged everyone’s ass back on stage and his snow white energy just said “LETS ALL BE FRIENDS AND SING”

NEIGE IS FUCKING GREAT- HE REALLY DID GOT THESE BITCHES TO SING HEIGH HO LOL

ACE’S RELUCTANT SINGING AND DEUCE LOOKING LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN

KALIM IS SUCH A MOOD, SINGING EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE LYRICS AND JAMIL JUST HAVING THAT “i want to die” ENERGY

AIGHT. ROOK IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AND EPEL IS TRYING HIS BEST. HE’S SO CUTE-

OMG NEIGE AND VIL HAVING SUCH GOOD HARMONY—

YAHOO Y A H O O TANOSHIINDA~~ 

YA’LL SURE ABOUT GIVING ME THIS BLESSED MOMENT??

What a somewhat happy ending, even though Rook just backstabbed us I’m crying Beauté 100 points!!!

LOL Vil realizing he’s having fun singing with Neige- “SOMEONE JUST END ME RIGHT NOW-“ The desperation in his voice-

I love how Neige’s yahoo yahoo is messing with everyone’s head, even Vil wants to pass out lol

haha Crowley is so depressed lol

WHA- WHO-

HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD!?

He looks like your typical grandpa- and his outfit looks like that one mickey mouse wizard outfit but blue—

Old man just went “we won lol” just to piss Crowley off I like this guy’s energy already-

Crowley being most likely as old as this guy—

ooohh this man just sensed something in this stage- Leona did too, didn’t he???

* Damn. Crowley talking so fast sounds like he’s making a load of bullshit lol

Anyway, I’m just glad that it’s not mickey mouse who’s the headmaster— I would’ve lost my shit.

We’re back in our dorms and I forgot that the squad doesn’t live with us anymore. It’s suddenly so lonely now...

Grim is getting the yahoo yahoo ptsd too lol it’s too goddamn catchy

oooohh shiet- mickey is calling us again

YES we finally got a good picture of this motherfucker

It seems like nothing is disrupting our communication this time, so MC thought to call Grim but—

Grim is not here.

Uuhhh...Grim? Where you’ve gone??? We’re getting flashbacks of the first parts of the game.

We went out to find Grim and HE’S CHOMPING ON ANOTHER BLACK STONE ON THE STAGE-

GRIM SPIT THAT OUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING

AAAAAHH GRIM HAS GONE FERAL— He’s attacking US

Is this because we didn’t win his tuna canss nooo

NoOO SWEET BABY COME BACK.

Legit I’m sad, please baby don’t overblot like this...

He learned a new move though- SCRATCH

Ooh— We’re seeing some Ignihyde scenes here~

P U H I H I

Idia getting a lot of emails from bigshot companies whoa—

THAT OLYMPUS—?! EXCUSE ME??? Ortho what- Are we finally getting that Hercules episode—

Damn getting a hot chance in olympus only to put them down the recycling bin oof— Idia why edit : Yume was informed that olympus is kind of a company that sponsored VDC sorry she was mind-fucked at this moment and the ability to understand proper Japanese just went whoosh lol Thanks to @starshiningsirius for pointing it out for Yume~ ♥︎ HONESTLY YUME’S JUST GONNA WAIT FOR ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS AT THIS POINT LOL Don’t trust me for important situation too much lol

Aaaahh...We’re getting this shut-in out of his room in the next episode, are we?

And that concludes the whole Pomefiore Episode! JESUS CHRIST 75 CHAPTERS ALL IN ALL!? How long is the Ignihyde chapter going to be, huh!?

This was a really, really fun episode lol I’d consider this a fan service episode actually cause of all the things we get to experience— The singing, dancing, and the new songs, THE DRAMA. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

But then, the plot thickens, no? What’s going to happen to Grim? In the Ignihyde episode? And those reoccurring memories of us? And our relationship with Tsunotarou lol ALSO WE NEVER REALLY DID FIND OUT WHAT ROOK’S UNIQUE MAGIC IS. DISNEY EXPLAIN—

Thanks for reading this shitpost of Yume losing her shiet lol See you all in the Ignihyde Episode~ ❤

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers

There are a lot of character deaths in TWDG... obviously. It a series about the literal dead walkin’ around and eating people, so as you’re playing, one of your favorite characters is bound to meet such a fate. To give this series credit, it does have quite a few well-executed deaths that, while I hate them, they have a purpose in the story that works. 

The best example of this is Lee’s death-- we all hate that Lee dies, but it’s well-done. It serves its purpose, it acted as both a shock and a slow-burn for the player, and left us all an emotional mess. 

However, we’re not talking about the “good” deaths today. No, we’re talking about the character deaths that are poorly executed, cheap, lazy, and just plain dumb... they’re the deaths that make me side-eye the writing team and wonder what the fuck happened there. 

By the way, it was reeeeeeal fun narrowing it down to only five deaths, because it seems like for every great death, there’s at least two bad ones.

5. Mariana and her death that ruined ANF’s potential story

I’ve talked at length about Mariana’s death and how much I hate it. Like, I get it TWDG... you love your sudden deaths and you’re so edgy for killing off a child character because you’ve never done that before... but maybe consider things a little further before pulling the trigger?

Yeah, killing off Mariana the way they did got a reaction outta people when it happened, and we got the burial scene if you stayed with Clementine... but you didn’t consider the future of this storyline? You pretend you did by name dropping Mari when it’s convenient, but then throw it out the window when it comes to characters like David or Gabe.

Listen, I know that ANF is a mess and what’s the point in telling the mess that it’s a mess? Well, I’m still annoyed at the writers for wasting the biggest opportunity for this game’s story, something that could’ve saved it from being a mess.

And I get it, you gotta make a death quota, so instead of killing Mariana off... why not kill Kate off instead? Oh no? We don’t get the stupid love triangle that no one actually enjoys or is engaged in?

Instead of this dumb story about Javi falling in love with his sister-in-law but oh no David’s back.... we could’ve had a story about Javi losing Kate and being left to care for two children by himself. Mariana and Gabe are all he has left, and he going to do whatever he can to keep them safe all while the three of them are mourning Kate.

Then David comes back, and he immediately takes these kids away from Javi.

There is no stupid storyline with Kate, but an actual conflict between two brothers who were never on the same page and two kids caught in the middle.

Plus, Mariana herself as a character really could’ve brought something to the table. She could’ve brought out a lot in David’s character since she seems to be more like Javi.

Her death is just... annoying. It’s frustrating when you know they could’ve told a better story with her alive, something ANF desperately needed.

My side-eye is one of disappointment and annoyance.

4.Luke and his easily preventable drowning

Ugh.... where to even begin? 

Luke really just gets butchered as a character throughout the second half of S2, and the writers end up demolishing the set up they placed at the beginning of the season for a Luke vs Kenny thing. 

Why? Well, Luke vs Kenny was the initial ending they were gonna go with, but because this season went through all kinds of bullshit, they scrapped that and replaced Luke with Jane... and it’s so dumb.

Hell, it kind of ruins a lot. Not only did it ruin Luke, a character that many players loved, but it forces the new character of Jane, who we only get two episodes to get to know, so they can fade Luke out. 

But that’s not all. 

His death is so... ugh. It’s stupid, okay? Stupid and easily preventable, but noooo... we gotta kill Luke off for reasons because all we know is that S1 killed off a lot of characters and we’re gonna do that again but worse because we failed to understand what made those deaths impactful in the first place. 

Lots of character death and despair = good game. 

Yep, uh-huh. Okay. 

So we all know that Luke’s leg is hurt, yeah? Great, so you’d think that the group that has an injured man and a new born baby would be extra cautious and go around the frozen lake. Yeah, Arvo says that it’s safe but let’s not take any chances. 

But no. We gotta go across like a group of dingdongs and whattya know-- the ice begins to crack beneath Luke’s feet. Now, even here, we coulda got him outta there safely... if Bonnie wasn’t a dingus. 

Think about it. If we shot the walkers who were coming towards Luke with all their weight, he could’ve slowly scooted away, even if he’s already fallen through. BUT NO. Bonnie either guilts Clementine into going towards him, adding more weight to the already fragile ice as Luke tells her to stop, or Bonnie will go over there herself... and she’s a full grown woman soooo her weight breaks the ice. 

Good job, you dipsticks. 

When you have to make your characters into morons in order to move the plot along and kill off characters....maybe do some rethinking, yeah? 

 3. Mitch and his shock-value death

This death is so dumb... so incredibly, dumb. Even now, I can’t help but give full side-eye to the writers every time one of them tries to justify this death. 

I’m sorry, but this death didn’t have the impact you wanted it to have. And because there’s always someone who says, “Mitch didn’t die for shock value, you just can’t tell the difference between a good and bad death” lemme tell you a thing. 

What was the point of killing of Mitch? Well, according to those who worked on TFS, it was to show that Lilly and the delta are serious. This is when shit gets real, and when Lilly is established as a bad bitch who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. We should be scared of her now. 

Except no. 

This scene doesn’t tell me that Lilly is a bad bitch. It tells me that she has good reflexes, and going off her reaction after killing Mitch.... I’m not fucking scared of this dumbass. If anything, this scene says more about Mitch than it does Lilly. It says that Mitch is also a dumbass for running at her like he did. 

Y’know what would’ve been more impactful? If Mitch didn’t immediately get stabbed in the throat, but instead, actually got her on the ground and struggled with Lilly. Then, Lilly gets the upper hand and when you think she’s about to send Mitch to the cart, she fucking murders him in front of everyone to prove a point. 

There’s no remorse, it’s slow enough for Lilly to actually process what’s happening and show that she does know what she’s doing. That would scare me. That would show me that these people aren’t fucking around and they’re willing to kill some of them if that means getting the rest for their army. 

You still get your shock value death but it actually does something other than kill a character off. 

I’m really supposed to believe this is the same Lilly who can order to have Louis’ tongue cut off? 

But it doesn’t end there. No, no... there’s another part to Mitch’s death that annoys me, and it’s how insistent everyone was that his death is going to have a greater impact on the second half of the story. It had a purpose within the story, we did it for a reason.

...I mean, it has an impact on Willy and his arc for the second half. 

But that’s it. 

Oh... oh, what’s that? Oh, you were referring to those throwaway lines about Tenn? “He was screwing up again, just like when he got Mitch killed.”

OOOOOH.... I see, that’s what Mitch’s death was really amounting to... some lines dealing with whether or not AJ shot Tenn. Well, I guess I was wrong. Mitch’s death wasn’t just shock value. It really had a big purpose. In fact, Mitch’s death has the biggest impact on the series. Fuck Marlon and Brody’s deaths, and Lilly and James, and hell, fuck Tenn’s death, too. They’re meaningless compared to Mitch’s death. You did it, guys. You really did it. 

....Okay, I’m done. I’m just... salty, I fully admit. 

Being serious again, Mitch’s death is probably the worst in TFS as far as unpreventable deaths go and the real reason I side-eye the writers is because they tried to tell us it was going to have this huge impact in the future and it just... didn’t. 

2. Nick and his offscreen death.

I’m sorry, but what the fuck happened here? Why- what are you- how the hell did this happen??

I’m actually baffled. 

Someone wrote this. 

They set up at the end of ep3 that Nick is shot.... then ep4 comes and we find him like this. I just... did someone on the writing staff not wanna do their job that day? Someone was working on the story and at the last minute forgot Nick was a character, so they were like “Eh, he’s not important anyway, and it adds to the shittiness of everything so we’ll pretend this was 100% intentional.” 

Nick was one of your more interesting characters and you really thought killing him off like this was the way to go, huh? 

Like, his first death is shitty, but in the very least it kind of makes sense. 

But this? 

This is horrible. If I wrote this, I’d be embarrassed. 

I just... I’m so tired of S2 right now. 

This is at #2 because it’s just lazy, bad writing. At least with Luke, Mitch, and Mariana, we got to see their deaths and they had some, even if just a little, impact on the story afterward. 

But Nick? 

Nothin’.

Even Luke, who is the closest person to Nick, name drops him maybe twice? It’s just.... nothing. 

And yeah, you can come at me with the “oh well not every death has to have meaning!” 

This is a story, okay? This is a story crafted with characters who have arcs by people who wanted it to be a success, and usually that means having satisfying conclusions.... or, intentionally unsatisfying if that acts as a natural conclusion to their story or is a reoccurring theme. 

Nick’s death is just the writers falling flat on their faces and hoping no one would notice. 

1. Sarah and both of her shitty deaths. 

Ugh. UGH.

Okay. 

I’m not even side-eyeing anymore-- I’m fully glaring.

I don’t have to tell you how shitty both of Sarah’s deaths are. We all played S2, we all know that no matter what you do, Sarah dies in ep4. You can try to save her, she lives a little bit longer, and then falls to her death... and both deaths have her being devoured alive by walkers. 

Now, this is enough to annoy me. First off, I guess my choices don’t really matter. Sure, you can justify this as one of those “sometimes you can’t save someone, no matter how hard you try” ...and fine. Sure, if they had bothered to execute that point well, then great. 

But I disagree that the writers had that in mind when they were killing Sarah off. 

In fact, I know what what going on in their brains-- “God, can’t wait to kill Sarah off! Give us any reason to do it! She’s so damn annoying!”

The writers have openly admitted that a lot of the team were just waiting to kill Sarah off, waiting for any reason, so when the major part of the community who take everything at surface level because why think? kept complaining about Sarah, they jumped on the opportunity to kill her off.... but the deaths are dumb.

Listen, this isn’t like when the writers planned on killing Lee off. You can plan a death and even be excited about it because you’re excited about the story and execution of it all. You can be excited to see the heartbreaking end of this character’s story that you crafted because you know you put everything you had into it.

These deaths were lazy and the product of a team who didn’t care about the character. Sarah dies and no one cares. 

Sure, you leave her to die the first time and Jane does her thing about how you can’t save everyone, she talks about Jaime, and then Luke exposes himself as the fake Luke by agreeing that leaving Sarah behind was probably the right thing. Like what?

Now as much as I hate that first one, the second one is even worse. 

For some reason, Sarah is standing in the corner while they’re trying to fight off the walkers instead of being inside with Rebecca... y’know, where she would be if this was logical. 

Then the deck breaks and Sarah falls, trapped under a pile of wood. Jane, despite being the one who sees Sarah as a liability, goes down there to try and help her after Clementine begs her to. 

But because the writers don’t know what they’re doing, Jane gets hit by a random piece of wood and can’t get Sarah out in time, leaving her to be eaten alive by walkers. 

Then AJ is born and no one cares about Sarah ever again. 

I just.... 

Could’ve had an interesting story arc with a character who just lost her father in such a gruesome way, a character that already deals with anxiety and other problems that you never bothered to explain other than “she isn’t like Clementine” and you could’ve had her grow. 

But I guess that would’ve taken effort.... and screen time away from Kenny, and god forbid we ever do that. 

---

Honorable Mentions

-Ava falling to her death in the most comedic way possible, made even more hilarious by David’s two seconds of mourning. -Omid.... because hope is dead. Do you get it? Hope? is dead? Because Omid means hope? Do you get it?? -Honestly you could put most of S2′s deaths on this list because oh my god. -Ben because I’m still a salty bitch.  -I also wanna add Louis and Violet’s deaths on the bridge mostly because they die, Clem is sad for two seconds, Tenn says sorry, and then no one cares. Yeah, yeah, they mourned off screen and I call that lazy bullshit. -Hell, throw Tenn’s death on here, too, for similar reasons-- no one but Louis/Violet and AJ seem to care. Even Clementine is like “whatever” after it happens. 

---

Y’know, picking this one seemed like a good idea at the time, but by now I’m just annoyed by all these dumb deaths. So, what are your thoughts? Are there any deaths that make you question the writers that didn’t end up on the list? Do you agree or disagree with my list? Lemme know, we can have a friendly discussion about it. 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

---

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Favorite Louis Moments

[ashiiixoxo]

“Just say it” Lucifer x reader

Thank you for the 100 followers I feel so grateful to everyone that helped my account grow in a little over 2 months❤️ so here is my 100 followers series! One word: A N G S T

Lucifer: “just say it”

Mammon: “final goodbye”

Leviathan: “game over”

Satan: “last chapter”

Asmodeus: “what is love at the first sight”

Beelzebub: “midnight snack”

Belphegor: “by my side”

You giggled as Asmodeus brushed your hair. Currently, you were sitting in Asmo’s room, getting ready for Diavolo’s party. This party was extra special because it would also be the last one you would be attending, which is why Asmodeus is helping you get ready for this special night.

“What do you think?” Asmodeus places another mirror behind you so you could see your hair. Gasping, you smiled at him. “It looks stunning!” Your bright eyes stared into his. “All eyes on us, Mc.” He beamed. You grinned, “do you think he’ll like it?” You asked. “Like it? I bet he’ll drag you off back home as soon as he sees you.” Asmodeus wiggles his eyebrows. You blushed at his words.

Asmodeus got dressed and helped you in your outfit. Your eyes widened when you looked at your reflection. Was that really you? “It’s such a shame you’re in love with Lucifer otherwise I would’ve taken you here on spot.” Asmodeus’ hands reached your waist as he stood behind you. Asmodeus sighed as his D.D.D went off. He picked up and left his room with you still standing in front of the mirror.

Posing in front of the mirror, you took a bunch of pictures to post on Devilgram. scrolling through the pictures and slightly editing them with nice lightning, you still weren't satisfied. maybe some pictures with the brothers? you grinned at the idea. 

you decided to look for mammon first, The Great Mammon would definitely take a picture with you. 

you giggled as you took some more photo’s, you had some with mammon, Asmo and later the twins joined as well in your little photoshoot session. everyone was looking good in their suits. only making you imagine what Lucifer would look like. 

unlike you and his brothers, he got ready at Diavolo’s castle. of course Diavolo wanted Lucifer to get ready at the castle, he is Diavolo’s right hand after all. and because of that, he needs to help with the preparations. 

the seven of you entered the gates of the demon lord palace. Barbatos was already waiting for your arrival and greeted the you and the brothers. Barbatos lead the way inside to the grand hall. Diavolo saw Barbatos leading you guys and immediately approached.

“welcome! its wonderful having you all here!” diavolo grinned and gave you a tight hug before greeting the brothers. you looked around but there was no sign of the oldest brother being here. you spotted Luke, Simeon and Solomon who waved at you. Luke ran to your side to greet you. over the past months you had become real close to the young angel, who you considered as a little brother and sometimes jokingly your son. 

the young angel dragged you to his fellow angel and Solomon. “you look stunning tonight MC.” Simeon complimented, followed by a nod from Luke and Solomon. you thanked them for the compliment and complimented their attire as well. 

“our last party here, huh?” you heard Solomon. “yeah, imagine what Devildom will be like without us here.” you said. “we’re finally going back! no more demons!” Luke cheered. the only demons he got along with were Barbatos and Beelzebub.

your eyes were still scanning through the place looking for that one demon. “hm, guessing from your expression, you must be looking for Lucifer.” you heard a voice behind you. turning around, you saw Diavolo standing. you nodded slightly. he’s near the stairs, talking to some demons.” you pursed your lip. you didn't want to interrupt him if he was having a conversation but you wanted to see him so badly. and you wanted to show off your outfit.

“MC! wanna go outside?” Asmodeus came up to you. you nodded. “can we walk past the stairs first?” you asked. “of course, dear!” he agreed so easily. the two of you walked past the stairs, and there a was, looking good in his demon form. he was talking to female demons, more laughing actually. in the past year you had been here, you had never seen him smile the way he did now. he looked so happy. and there it was, that piercing feeling in your heart.

you saw him glance at Asmo, but never lay his eyes on you. the demon beside you tugged you towards the entrance. once outside, you sighed. “how cold of him, he didn't even look at you.” Asmo whined. “all the effort I put in looking nice.” you sighed. “well you still look like a whole babe” asmodeus grinned and tried to brighten up your mood.

things weren't okay between you and Lucifer, especially since you were going back to the human world soon. he had been ignoring you since the past two days. despite your apologies, your efforts in making things right again, he was still ignoring you. 

all of this had happened because, just like usually he was stressed, there was no end to the piles of paper stacked on his desk. you respected his work, but his working hours were just... abnormal. and so you decided to give him a midnight snack and a nice cup of tea. he needed a break, just to relax and let all the tension go. sadly, your efforts had no effect on him as he ignored the snack and the tea.

by the time you woke up again to check on him it was 3AM. the food and his cup were left untouched. you rubbed your eyes to look again, “you aren't going to drink something?” you asked him. he kept looking at his paperwork, “no, go sleep in your own room.” he was stressed, you understood. but he never used this harsh tone on you. 

you blinked a few times, trying to process what happened. then you frowned “you dont want me here?” you asked quietly. he sighed and answered, “no, now get out and take the food with you.” you stared at him speechless but decided to do as he said. taking your phone, the food and the cup of tea, you headed back to your own room.

at breakfast, he didn't talk to you, heck, he didn't even look at you. everyone noticed the shift in his behaviour. after apologising for bothering him the nigh before, he still ignored you. 

sitting on your bed, you started thinking about taking your stuff out of his room. but in your head it sounded too dramatic, yet, you wanted him to know that his cold behaviour hurt you. until Asmo came barging into your room. “you have no idea who I just spotted at jewellery store!” your head snapped into the direction of his voice. “huh?” hoping he would repeat what he just said. “I saw Lucifer at the jewellery store! he was looking at some rings!” asmodeus started shaking you. 

his words only made you pinch the bridge of your nose. “please dont tell me this now.” you groaned. “aren't you supposed to be happy?” he asked. “if he’s looking at some rings, it doesn't mean that he’s going to propose or whatever.” asmodeus sighed at your words. “Lucifer would never look at rings. maybe that's why he has been acting so strange lately.” you only shook your head. “let it be, we never spoke about marriage anyway.” you shrugged making the demon in front of you gasp.

“Asmo, can you leave... im not in the mood to make up scenarios in my head.” the demon only frowned and patted your head before walking out of the door again. you laid back on your bed, covering your face. 

you looked at the floor and covered your face again. “I can't believe he’s still ignoring me..” asmodeus rubbed your back. “maybe if you try talking to him again?” he suggested. “maybe..” you breathed. asmodeus took your hands away from your face and wiped your tears away. “look, I didn't spend an hour doing your make up only to have you cry here again. so go get your man and show him how gorgeous you are, honey.” you sniffed and giggled at his words. 

the two of you walked back inside, only to find one of the women from before, leaning against Lucifer. you sighed and shook your head. your reaction made Asmodeus walk up to the lady and ask her for a dance and redirected Lucifer your way with a clear “go talk to your lovely MC.” Lucifer shrugged it off. 

he wasn't going to talk to you, so you had to make the first step. you walked over to him, “Lucifer, can we talk?” you gave him a side glance. he sighed “not here.” he murmured. “then where? you won't talk to me at home so..” you bit your lip and glared at him. 

lucifer dragged you off to a much quieter place. “what is so important to you that you and Asmodeus need to interrupt me?” he glared. “you really can't tell?” you asked and furrowed your eyebrows. he fell silent. “look I know you’re stressed and you dont want my help, but the way you've acting really made me question-” “dont give me this bullshit now.” he growled. “then what do you expect me to do? sniff the goddamn answer out of the air?” you blinked the tears away. 

“just say it.” “say what?” he asked. “just say how you really feel about me. so I won't be wasting my last weeks here being sad..” your voice cracked making Lucifer stared at you before speaking.

“I can't give you that answer here.” with that he turned around and walked off. 

[tanakavox]

A look into the multiverse chapter 8 SAOA

Many thanks to my friend friend @bssaz97 for his work on the reactions. And TheGoldenBoy2188 for the strict for SAOA making writing easy. The next reaction will be a suprise so stay tune.

Amidst the streets of Mantle, Whitley Schnee walked towards a destination while wearing a disguise consisting of a coat, scarf, shaded glasses, and a flat cap. He had a mission and he would not waste this opportunity!

It was not every day that he could simply leave the manor without Father's permission or notice so he needed to be quick but not noticeable. He had waited months for this day to arrive. Whitley had pre-ordered the latest MMO game of his favorite game series a week before the initial release date and had come to pick it up. Having connections in the right places certainly did have its benefits. The only downside was he had to acquire his prize somewhere outside of his father's notice. So what other place to go than Atlas's sister kingdom.

Outside of his notice, a young white haired faunus woman with sheep ears followed close behind him. Fiona Thyme was out picking up some food for the rest of the Happy Huntresses when she noticed an unfamiliar person walking around. She knew almost everyone on this side of Mantle, so a new person popping out of the blue was very suspicious. Normally she would have reported this back to Robyn but upon further inspection she recognized who this person was.

It was the sole son of the worst man on Remnant and the newly appointed heir of the Schnee Dust Company, Whitley Schnee! Why was he here in Mantle?! Fiona determined he was up to no good and decided to follow him. Wherever the SDC goes, trouble usually follows!

Whitley finally arrived at the destination he was seeking… the Post Office! Now all he had to do was open the door, enter the establishment aaaaaand- stare dumbfounded as the inside of this place was a theatre.

"What the-? This isn't the post office. Where am I?!" Whitley shouted at no one in particular.

"Ah-ha! Caught you right where I- Huh? Where the hell? This isn't the post office!" Fiona also dumbfounded.

"Whitley?" Both Weiss and Winter stated in a mix of shock and disbelief at seeing their little brother. Maybe some hostility on Weiss part.

"Weiss? Winter? How-?"

"What the hell is this?!" A loud female voice shouted as four more people arrived out of nowhere. Consisting of two normal sized humans, a bunny faunus and a very large man.

"Coco/Velvet/Fox/Yatsuhashi!" Teams RWBY and JNR said collectively.

"Oh hello everyone! This… is a surprise! When did you get to Vacuo?" Velvet asked the group.

Fiona turned towards the new strangers, "Vacuo? What are you talking about? You're all in Mantle?"

"I'm most certain we're in Vacuo at the time." Yatsu spoke.

"You are in neither at the moment." Ozpin spoke up.

"What the- Teach? Weren't you supposed to be dead?!" Coco confusingly points out.

"I believe an explanation is in order."

*One short but informative explanation later*

"Wait so we were brought here to watch… alternate realities?" Fiona says after she and all the new arrivals had been told everything about the theater.

"We call them viewings but yeah pretty much." Ruby said.

"Hold on, I can understand why all of you were brought here, seeing as you all are huntsmen and huntresses. But that doesn't explain why I'm here." Whitley, having taken off his disguise.

"A great question indeed." Weiss mutters.

"I think I have a theory." Blake stepped forward. "So far now, I've noticed that the people who are here have at least some involvement in the viewings that we have been seeing. Remember that one viewing we saw of Whitley being stuck inside a video game?"

"I was stuck in a video game?"

"Also if you die in the game you die for real." Nora added.

Whitley's eyes widened at the implications.

"Well you're still stuck as far as we know. But apparently you're very good at the game so you might be fine." Jaune clarifies. Slightly feeling guilty that his alternate is the one who traps him there.

"Oh joy, now I'm trapped inside a place against my will in two realities!" Whitley throws his hands in frustration.

"Oh boo hoo! Is the rich boy gonna cry because nothings going his way today?" Fiona says in a mocking tone.

"Oh I'm sure you would know so much about crying and complaining about trivial things, thief." He shot back at Fiona.

"At least I think about the people of Mantle! When was the last time you thought of someone outside of yourself, Schnee!" Fiona retorted.

Winter sensing that this conversation was going nowhere stepped in between her brother and the happy huntress.

"Enough! None of us came here by choice so let's just stop this pointless arguing and move on."

Fiona huffed, "I couldn't agree more." She stomped away from the two siblings and found herself a seat in the theater.

Winter sighed, "It may not be ideal but as long as you are here Whitley, I would just suggest sitting tight and wait until you or all of us are able to leave this place."

"Hmph, very well. Thank you sister, it almost sounds like you care." Whitley took his leave and found a seat that was about four seats away from Weiss's team.

"Isn't there anywhere else you want to sit," Weiss practically hisses.

"Oh but Weiss it's the only seat that's close enough to you." Whitley affirmed.

Weiss groans in frustration, 'Hopefully it's only for one viewing…'

An acoustic guitar plays in the background as a montage of the events of and post-Episode 1 appears on the screen and a narrator began to talk.

" A month had passed since that fateful day. When everyone's world got all twisted, leaving them stranded in a castle in the sky. Since then, 2000 poor souls came to an abrupt and tragic end. Some by bad luck, others by sheer stupidity. I mean, really. Why would you just stand in fire? Anyways, that didn't bother The Kid none. He only cared about one thing, and one thing alone. Himself. 'Cuz in a game of life or death, you either live... or you die."

The scene transitions to Shirou leaning against a wall with an annoyed look on his face.

"What?! Two thousand of the players have died already!" Ruby yelled, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Not surprising, seeing as many of them looked weak last viewing." Cinder coolly replies.

Many huntsmen and huntresses glared at the red clad woman. She paid them no mind.

"Well thank you very much Narrator, you're doing a wonderful job of explaining the total death count of this video game prison." Whitley commented dryly.

"Oh, WOW. What brilliant insight! It's so deep it loops right back around to being stupid." Shirou snarked.

"The Kid ranted at no one, it slowly dawning just how alone he truly was" Narrator continued..

Whitley's eyes narrowed, "Am I being sassed by the narrator?"

"Maybe you said something to piss them off." Fiona added.

"Wait, what was that?" Shirou asks, shocked.

"He asked the sky, like a preacher to his silent gods."

"What gods? What are you talking about?! It's all bullshit metaphors with you!"

"He cried, not knowing the difference between a simile and a metaphor. The tininess of his brain dwarfed only by the tininess of his di-"

Whitley's eyes narrowed and face twitched at how much of an annoyance this narrator was being.

Weiss was doing her best to conceal her smile but was failing and breathes out a laugh. She was enjoying the exchange that her brother was going through and found it amusing. Her team gave her a side glance while Fiona and a few others laughed at the roast session the young Schnee was being given.

"Narrator off." Shirou commands the system with an annoyed tone.

"YOUCANSILENCEMEBUTYOUCAN'TSILENCETHETRU-" The narrator got cut off.

"Dick."

"Thank gods that's over, that narrator was extremely rude." Whitley sighed thankfully now that the narrator was silenced.

Weiss and Fiona grumbled that their fun was ruined.

Fade into December 2, 2022, on a strategy meeting led by man called Diabel. He gave a big smiled out to the crow

"Hey everyone. Thank you all for coming to our little powwow. Now, I know many of you may be discouraged by the fact that 2000 people have died so far."

" WHAT?!" A player screamed

" 2000 PEOPLE ARE DEAD?!" Another screamed.

"IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A MONTH YET!"

"OH MY GOD, WE REALLY ARE FUCKED!"

"Pretty much, sucks to be you!" Mercury laughed.

"These are the people that have to survive this game. Honestly what was blondie expecting," Emerald facepalms.

"Hey! Just because they've lost numbers doesn't mean that they have to lose hope!" Ruby glared at the two assassins.

"And I know even more of you are a little down because we haven't even cleared the First Floor yet." Diabel added, trying to keep the smile on his face.

"WE HAVEN'T?!"

"I THOUGHT WE WERE ALMOST DONE...!"

"You were saying." Cinder looked back at Ruby.

"Well…" Ruby trailed off, thinking of a way to defend these players.

Diabel's smile wavered

"Uh, you guys do know there are 100 Floors, right?"

"WHAT?!" A crowd of players yelled.

Diabels sighed a bit.

Ruby, despite her best attempts, also sighed and sat back down.

"Oh jeez, I am just making things worse. Point is, we found the Boss Room!"

The crowd gasps.

"Now, we've formulated a few strategies with some help from the beta testers-"

"BETA TESTERS?!" A voice yells out.

"Oh goddammit!" Diabel groaned argnily

A player named Kibaou jumps in.

Kibaou, what do you want? Diabel looked tired addressing this player.

"Beta testers? They're the reason we're stuck in this game!" Kibaoyu sneered

Many that heard this player's statement and quickly frowned at his blatant accusations towards these 'beta-testers.'

"This guy can't be serious, right?" Coco stated.

Dianel looked at Kibaou flatterausted at the stupidity of the statement he heard

"What?! Do you have any evidence to back that up?"

Kiabrou scoffed at the question. "Pfft! Evidence. I don't need no evidence. Isn't that right, Jesus?" He points to a player named "Jesus"

" It's pronounced "Hey-Zeus", and I don't know you."

"Wow, really selling your reasoning by having no one else to support your claim." Jaune stated while crossing his arms.

"Well, they still should have helped us newbies!" He exclaimed

"If I might interject...:" A deep voice called out.

A big muscular man gets up and comes to the stage.

Velvet taps Yatsu's arm excitedly, "Hey you're in this game too Yatsu! …oh gods you're in this game too."

"So it seems," Yatsu, doing his best to keep a straight face.

Coco lowered her shades along with a confused look. As far as she knew, Velvet was the only one who played video games on their team. Unless...

"And who the hell are you?!"

"I am known by many names.", "Closed eyed demon. The memory easer., "Hooked clawed tiger". But you? You may call me... "Velvet".

"Velvet huh? That's a... pretty masculine name." Kibaoru said adwarkley

"Shouldn't be. It's a woman's name." Velvet replied casually.

"Damn it. I had a feeling but I didn't want to be right." Coco cursed quietly while shaking her head.

"Wait, why would Yatsu have a character named after me? That doesn't- ...Oh ...oh my gods." Velvet's eyes widened at the implications, tears starting to build. That is until she felt a nudge on one of her shoulders. She turned her head and there was Yatsuhashi looking at Velvet with a gaze that said, 'It's not your fault.'

"Kay, I don't know how to talk to you."

"Good. Then you can shut up and listen. Does everyone here have this book in their inventory?"

" Yeah.

" Yes."

"Yup."

"Yeah."

" No... Wait, can I change my answer?"

Velvet/Yatsushi held up a book to show to everyone.

" This book is full of tips and strategies on how to survive this game, put together by the beta testers. Everyone read it, yet some people still died. The beta testers did everything they could."

"Yeah, that means Mace Hair has no reason to blame the beta testers!" Ruby points out.

Many of her friends nodded and Yastu's team smiled at the sound defense his alternate presented.

" Actually, I didn't read it." One player chimed up.

"Yeah, I didn't read it either."

"I skimmed it."

"OH COME ON!" Many members of the audience shouted in agitation.

"What? Didn't ANY of you read it?! It is literally a matter of life and death." Velvet exclaimed

"Well, dude. It's like 80 pages." A player pointed

"2000 people are dead!"

"THEY ARE?!"

"Again. These are the people that have to survive this game." Emerald reiterates.

Brief pause. Shirou looks shocked at their stupidity.

"I am so done with you people." Velvet mutters, walking off the stage.

" What do you mean "you people"?" A player asked a bit offended.

The Faunus in the room narrowed at their eyes at the implications made by that player.

"What do you mean, "you people"?" Fiona asks no one in particular.

Velvet and Kibaou take their seats.

Diabel continued with the meeting. "So, as Mister Hooked clawed tiger was saying, this book has some great strategies, including how to beat the First Boss, Illfang."

He clears his throat and starts reading from the guide.

"So as you enter the Boss Room, he's gonna throw wave after wave of disposable minions at you... and you must answer in kind."...?

"Uh, what?" A player asks, mirroring Diabel confusion.

Many in the audience reacted just as confused. All except Whitley, who had a good feeling where this was going.

Diabel continues

"Send the weaker players first. Good rule of thumb: If a player asks you for gold 2 seconds after meeting you, front lines."

"Ha, serves 'em right!" Kiaboru said with a laugh

"If they hijack conversations to rant about their political views, front lines."Diabel said with a smirk looking at Kiaboru.

Kibaou went pale. "Aw, shit."

"Ha! Serves you right!" Nora laughed.

"If they ask female players for pics of their boobs, front lines."

"OH BULLSHIT!" One player screamed out in rage.

"THAT'S DISCRIMINATION!" Another one howled.

"BOO!"

Many of the women in the theater frown at the way those players reacted. Winter was more than certain that those players were the type that participated in the mentioned acts the speaker spoke on.

Diabel smiles and waves them down. "Now, now, people. I think there are some valid points being made here. Now, it goes on to say when Illfang's health goes into the red, he's going to switch from his axe and buckler to something called a "Talwar". At that point we should initiate a strategy called "The Final Solution" and- I'm just gonna stop reading! Jesus, who wrote this thing?"

Shirou giggles evilly.

"Of course Whitley wrote that book." Weiss sighed.

"Why sister, it sounds like that didn't surprise you in the least." Whitley pretending to act hurt.

"Please. The manipulative tone of the text almost makes one sound too much like you." Weiss bit back.

"Well I suppose you would know." A wide smile on Whitley's face.

Weiss scoffs turning her head away from her traitorous brother.

Team R_BY and Winter watched the exchange and sighed.

"Okay, so the guide's a bust. But it'll be fine. I'll come up with a great plan for us." Diabel smiles at the crowed.

"Like what?"

" Well... we... could... Uh... Uhhhh... I'm open to suggestions."

"Woah, guys, we could- we could, you know, like, group up and-"

"And hit it 'til it DIES!" Another yelled finishing the other player sentence

"Woo, nice!"

"Yeah!"

" High five!"

The two hive five.

"Well. It's something, right?." Velvet does her best to be optimistic.

Many of the more experienced members of the theater shake their heads.

"That's... a good start. But let's hear some other suggestions."

"I'd like to hear more about this "Final Solution"." A player in a german accent piped up.

"Fuck it, group up." said Diabel said tirely.

Shirou slides down the seats towards a girl, named Fiona, who's on her own.

Fiona blinks in surprise, "Oh my gods, that's me! I'm in the game! Hey other me, stay away from the Schnee!"

"You have my condolences." Weiss says to the sheep faunus.

"So, why aren't, uh, you joining anyone's group?" Shirou asked.

"I have my reasons." She said mysterioly

" Is it because you're a girl?"

"No. It's because... I don't know how to play."

"Because you're a girl?"

Many of the females and males who enjoy video games, such as Yang, Ruby, Velvet, Nora,, Jaune, Oscar, Ren, surprisingly Mercury and Emerald, along with Fiona herself, threw questioning glares towards the current heir of the SDC. Weiss and Winter glared at him as well but for other reasons.

Whitley looks around to see all the glares directed towards him. "Why are you all looking at me? I said nothing."

"No!" Fiona snapped. "It's just... I don't know how to open the menu."

"What?" Both Fiona and Whitley asked.

"Jinx!" Nora shouts.

"What?!" Shriou looked at the girl in shock. "But you can't do anything in this game without the menu. How have you survived all month?"

Cut to Fiona holding a piece of bread. She is staring at it intensely. "HOW DO I EAT YOU?!" She screamed at it.

Many laughs were had at the poor girl's predicament, despite some of them doing their best to not do so but could not help themselves.

Fiona slowly sank into her chair, covering her face in shame. Her alternate was the utter definition of a newb player.

Back to the present.

"It's... been a challenge…" She muttered before looking at Shirou. "What about you? Why haven't you join the others?"

"Oh, lots of reasons. Mostly because they're a bunch of mouth-breathing neckbeards who think "LMAO" is how French people laugh."

" Ha ha, that's so Le Mao!" Said one player far away causing to Shirou shudder.

Whitley in the theater also shudders in disgust. If these were the people that he would have been surrounded by inside the game, then he too would have avoided them like a plague.

"Wow. You certainly... speak from the heart."

"Funny, I thought I was speaking from my mouth. But, eh, shows what I know about biology." He said with a smirk.

"No one else wanted you in their group, did they?"

"Shut up! It was mutual!"

"And who would blame me? Have you seen the players of this game? I'm honestly surprised they lived this long."

"You're just saying that 'cause no one wanted a smartass on their team." Fiona smirked.

"I'm sorry, were you speaking Menu Girl?" Whitley nonchalantly retorts.

Fiona's face grew red in embarrassment and agitation. She wanted nothing more than to raise her hand and activate her semblance right now. 'Give me a reason Schnee, I dare you.'

It cuts back to Diabel smiling and clapping his hands.

"Alright, looks like everyone's grouped up. Get plenty of rest tonight, people! We leave at noon!"

A player groans "Noon?"

"That's so early!"

Diabel sighs. "Alright. What about 1 o'clock?"

" Dude, come on!"

" God, fine! We leave at the crack of... 2:30, I guess. Lazy butts…"

"Christ, I'm gonna have to set my alarm."

Everyone in the theater did not have high expectations for these players as they would face their first challenge.

Cuts to December 3, 2022 Floor 1: Illfang's Tower, 7:30pm. Everyone's at the Boss Door and everyone except Diabel is exhausted.

"Okay, so there were a few more stairs than we realized. Apparently real life athletic ability translates into the game. Good to know." Diabel looked out to the sad sight in front of him.

"Oh, god. I can feel my lungs trying to kill me." One player whined.

" Is this sweat?!"

" I peed a little."

" Jesus, this is sad." Diabel said with a grimace.

One player vomits.

"Congrats Jaune, someone else has now become the new Vomit Boy of this viewing!" Yang exclaimed.

Jaune rolled his eyes at her attempt at making him feel better.

"Fuck it. Why don't you all just take a Cheetos and Mountain Dew break, and we'll reconvene in an hour."

1960 Batman-Esque transition with Cheetos and Mountain Dew.

" Dammit, guys! I was kidding! You weren't supposed to actually take an hour!" Dibal said in a rage."God, we've lost so much time. Let's just do this already! You all know the plan!"

Illfang jumps into the center of the room and roars. Kobolds pop in, and an error message pops up on the third one that says "Error: "Sentinel_ " not found."

Ruby and Nora laughed at the mob that got glitched.

"Alright, men!" Diabel began,"Form up and-"

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" A player screams

The armies converge on each other.

"Are they serious! You can't just go gung-ho in a boss battle!" Jaune exclaimed at the increasingly apparent, dim-witted players.

"What?! No! Goddammit guys!" Diabel begins to bark out orders. "Squad B, quit attacking the Boss and keep the Sentinels off us! C, D, stop attacking from the front! Do you even know what "flank" means?! Squad F, for fuck's sake! Stop playing Bejeweled! *Groans* Squad G, get in there and help A and B!"

"Got it!" Shirou said with a nod rushing in.

"Don't talk back to…" Diabel did a double take."l Holy shit, really?!"

"How is Whitley the most sensible minded player in this game?!" Weiss asked.

"Weiss, have you seen the other players?" Blake asked her in a deadpanned tone.

"...Yes you're right, that's actually too much of an insult." Weiss admits.

Shirou attacks a Sentinel, leaving Fiona to finish it off.

"Okay, Fiona! What you're gonna wanna do here is-"

Fiona lets out a Battle Cry and kills the Sentinel in one hit.

Fiona in the theater perked up at this display, "Oh my- I can fight! Oh thank gods I can fight!"

Shirou eyes widened in shock "Wow, I thought she was hopeless, but her technique is flawless. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's even better than I-"

"Hey Shirou! I killed the thing and now it says I have XPs! Is that bad? Am I dying?! Fiona cried out to him in fear."

Shirou rolls his eyes"Or... maybe... not."

"Miss Fiona, either your alternate is very lucky or is very out of base with technology. I can't tell which it is." Whitley stated.

"Shut up Schnee, she's trying!" Fiona defends her other self.

Illfang's health drops into the red. He snarls at the players and he tosses his weapons.

"Alright, men! This last part's gonna take careful coordination…" Diabel ran towards Illfang. "which is why I'm just gonna do it myself!"

Diabel charges his weapon art. Illfang draws his Ōdachi.

Ruby's eyes widened, "OH NO!"

Shirou looked and saw the weapon and his eyes widened calling to Diabel. "Oh shit! Diabel, look out! That's not a Talwar! It's an Ōdachi!"

"What's the difference?!" Diabel ask still running towards Illfang.

"Well, a Talwar is of Indian descent while an Ōdachi is Japanese! While both are primarily slashing weapons, the Talwar was favored by cavalrymen, as opposed to an Ōdachi which was mainly used for dick measuring!" As Shirou is talking, Illfang starts jumping off the walls.

" What's your point?!" Diabel asked impaintely.

"Well if you let me finish, I was getting to that! You see…"

Diabel gets hit by Illfang, screaming in pain.

Many of the huntsmen and huntresses in the theater either gasped in fear or looked away at the surely doomed player.

"What's happening? Did I miss something?" Fox called out.

"Oops." Shirou sheepishly said.

Illfang hits Diabel again, sending him flying.

"DIABEL!" Kibaou yelled out.

Illfang pops down in front of Kibaou and roars. A message pops up "Bonus Item: Soiled Pants". Above Kibaou

"Hey, rare drop!' A player said cheerfully.

Mercury laughed at the joke while most of the others were disgusted by the fact that that achievement was unlockable.

Shirou runs over to Diabel and holds him up.

" I was trying to say an Ōdachi's a little bit longer than a Talwar, so it'll have more reach and do a bit more damage."

"And why couldn't you say that first?" Diabel asked weakly

"Yeah you dummy! You almost might've killed him!" Ruby cries out.

Whitley was actually taken aback by that statement. Sure he had moments of pride and arrogance, sometimes he looked down on people but he didn't believe he would ever intentionally kill someone.

" I like to think of myself as a teacher. Anyway, drink this."

Shirou tries to give Diabel a healing potion but he stopped Shirou shaking his head.

"No. It's better this way. I just can't do it anymore. I had such high hopes at first. But now? Our best player is a girl who thinks DPS is some kind of sex thing." Both turned to glance to Fiona.

"I know. It's weird, right?"

Fiona sulked more into her chair.

"You're clearly not like the rest of them. How do you stand it, Shirou? Where do you draw your strength?" Diabel look at Shirou like a sage.

Shirou sigh and drops his wisdom onto him. "I've been playing MMO's a long time, Diabel, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that lions do not concern himself with the opinions of sheep. Just take that little voice in your head that tells you to be tactful and understanding... and shoot it. Shoot it in the goddamn face."

" You are so wise. If only I'd met you sooner. Perhaps, things would have been different. You must lead them now. Show them this game can be beaten." Diabel let's go of Shirou wrist.

Weiss was taken aback that this man was actually willing to place trust in this alternate of her brother. This stranger who barely even knows him placed the lives of all the players into his hands. Much like how she tried to trust Whitley once… this caused a bitter frown to grow on her face in recollection. Even if this was a different version of him, it was still Whitley in her eyes.

Shirou smiles fondly at Diabel. "Another life... in another time... I think we could have been friends."

"I... doubt it." Diabel gasps out before turning to shattered glass, dying.

" Well fuck you, too!" Shirou said angrily his smile dropping into a frown.

Fiona slips in by Shirou's side and began to lay out a plan.

"Alright, Shirou. Here's what we'll do. One counters his blows to knock him off balance and the other switches in to attack. Rinse. Repeat. Victory."

Shirou looked at her with one eye. "You came up with that, but you can't open a menu."

"Shut up!" Fiona cried out.

Illfang roars and they take off running toward him.

"Alright, so you counter and I'll attack!" Shirou yelled to Fiona.

"What? No, it's my plan! I should attack!" Fiona yelled back.

"Fine, just get ready!"

Shirou makes a battle cry and counters Illfang's attack.

"SWITCH!"

Fiona moves in and gets her cloak destroyed by Illfang before attacking revealing white curly hair and sheep ears.

" See? You almost got yourself killed! I'll attack him!" Shirou yelled again and began to attack Illfang.

"Oh, that was a fluke, and you know it! He's mine!" Fiona yelled back.

Fiona attacks Illfang.

"Oh shit. They're actually giving that boss the work!" Coco called out.

"He's mine!" Shirou yelled.

Shirou blocks Illfang's next attack, but Fiona attacks him before Shirou can do so himself.:

"Mine!" Fiona screams

"NO! HE'S! MIIIIIIIIIIINE!"

Shirou slices Illfang and he explodes. Everyone is stunned. Lame party kazoo sound effect and a banner with the word "CONGRATULATION" appears.

"Yeah!" A player cheer.

This caused almost everyone in the audience to laugh. Despite the dark humor of it all, it was still pretty hilarious.

"What happened? Did they win?" Fox asks

"Oh yes, I'm sorry Fox! They beat the boss and a victory banner came out."

"...heh." Fox chuckled.

Shirou is panting. He gets an item as a reward for defeating the Boss.

"Congratulations!" Velvet said, patting him on the back. "That was even more impressive than that cat that learned to play."

Cut to a player with a cat's head, with another player staring at it.

"Meow."

"Huh what did you know?" Yang replied.

"Oh my god! You guys can see it too?! So I'm not crazy! Isn't that great, Jesus?!" We see things from the players' perceptive, with a giant hallucination of Jesus Christ looming over the crowd.

"That's right, Jeffrey. Now... kill them all." Jesus said, his voice growing darker.

"As you command, my Lord." Jeffrey whispered.

"Somethings very wrong with that guy." Qrow states.

"I honestly agree with you, Branwen… Blegh! That left a horrible taste in my mouth." Winter stated.

Cut back to Velvet talking to Shirou. The other players are applauding his victory.

"You've led us to victory, Shirou. These men and I will follow you to hell itself. Now... address your people." Velvet is smiling and pushing Shirou to the crowd.

Shirou gets up and smirks. "I always knew this day would come. Ahem. Fellow gamers! We have traveled far and up many stairs to get to this point. Fighting side by side, noobs, and leets, alike. I'd like to take a moment to say that I couldn't have done it without the help of each and every one of you."

"Aw, that's a nice thing to say-" Velvet was cut off when Shirou counties.

"Of course, I'm not a liar, so I'm not gonna say any of that."

"Oh shit."

"I thought as much." Weiss states.

Shirou grins look at the group. "I mean, really. I could've done this whole Boss Fight myself. But to be fair, I guess you did absorb a bit of damage for me, which was nice. You were an adequate meat shield, and no one can ever take that away from you."

"Fuck. Fuck! Shut up! SHUT UP!" Velvet started to say.

"So for those of you who came in late, and that one guy playing Bejeweled back there... shoot for the stars... it'll make it more fun when I kick you back into the dirt."

"You're not better than us!" Kiaboru said.

"Yeah! What makes you think you're so cool?!" Nora shouts to the screen.

Shirou equips the coat he got for beating Illfang and smugly looks at the group."My sweet-ass coat begs to differ."

"Dammit, he's got us there." one player muttered.

Shirou ascends the stairs out of the Boss Room. Fiona follows him and grabs him by the shoulder. "Shirou, wait!"

Those in the audience looked on at Fiona's alternate in hope. Surely she could turn him around after their excellent display of partnership.

"I want half." She said, staring at him blankly.

That hope was quickly squashed, shot at, and finally burned to death via gasoline and cracking a fire dust crystal.

Shirou turns to her confused. " I'm... sorry. What?!"

"I want half the coat. I did half the work, I should get half the coat." Fiona explain and extends her hand for him give it to her.

"No! It's not fabric I can cut! It's just a bunch of 1s and 0s!" Shirou was getting frustrated.

"Fine, then give me the 1s."

" Fuck you! I want the 1s!" He groans and open the menu. "I am not having this argument. I'm disolving this party." Shirou opens his menu and "Di-solves" their party.

"Shirou! If you walk away with my half of the coat, I will make your life a living hell!" Fiona screamed.

"You know what? Fine! I'll give you the damn coat! Just send me a trade request."

"A... what?"

Fiona's eyes widened as she watched from the theater, "No…"

Shirou grins viciously "Oh, it's quite simple really... Just open your menu." Shirou starts laughing maniacally as he walks out the doors as Fiona screams at him:"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" At him.

Outro Plays.

Fiona screams, "I can't believe the nerve of that-! GRAAAAH!"

"Can you please stop screaming! You're going to cause everyone's ears to bleed." Whitley said while using a handkerchief to rub his ears.

Fiona huffed then matched off, going to another place in the theater.

"Well that was interesting. So you all say there's other viewings where we see other worlds besides this one." Coco asked the group.

"Oh yeah, we've seen a couple worlds ourselves, but only a handful I'd say." Yang admits.

"Well as long as we're here, we might as well take time to catch up." Velvet smiled.

"Yeah, this will be great! It's almost like we're back at Beacon, right Weiss? ...Weiss?" Ruby looks beside her but noticed that her partner was not with them anymore.

In another side of the theater, the all three Schnee siblings stand together. Both of the youngest siblings look at Winter who brought them here.

Winter clears her throat, "I understand that there are some… tension between the three of us during this viewing. So I asked you both here so that we may come to terms with our situation."

Weiss scoffs, "Come to terms with him! I highly doubt that."

Whitley crosses his arms, "Yes it does seem like a lost cause Winter."

"Enough! Both of you!" Winter raised her voice causing both of her younger siblings to go rigid. "I'm not expecting you to get along or even apologize to each other at the moment. What I ask is if you two can at least act civil with one another while in the theater?"

Both Weiss and Whitley looked at each other and sneered at each other.

"Why of course I can be civil with Whitley. It is a virtue of a lady to be civil at all times." Weiss said with hidden venom.

"Quite true, but being civil is also a quality an heir of the Schnee family must cultivate as well. So I look forward to spending this immeasurable amount of time with you my sisters." Whitley said with his best presentable smile.

"Yes, how I enjoy us taking this time to reacquaint with each other." Weiss said while one of her eyes was twitching.

"Well then sister, shall we?" Whitley gestured for Weiss to go ahead of him. Almost would have been believable if one did not notice the glint in his eyes and his strained smile.

Winter watched as both Weiss and Whitley walked back to the auditorium where everyone else had remained.

"...This can only end badly."

Hope you enjoyed.

[coffintownkids]

Alrighty! Ch. 32 is done and such brings an end to the 朝露 arc. I’m sure y’all remember the cute scene in The Untamed/CQL when WWX comes across a group of kids playing make-believe about the Sunshot Campaign. This is the chapter where that takes place. However, as previously mentioned, we’ve actually never met pretty much any of the characters involved first-hand. So this is again slowly filling the readers in about how the world perceives all these characters.

I couldn’t decide what part I liked best...So you get the entire scene! Very long post beneath the cut.

*EDITED* @weishenmewwx was nice enough to help me fix a couple of errors. Thank You!!!

The group of children stopped chasing it, then gathered together to start seriously wracking their brains over it, “What do we do since no one shot down the Sun? It fell by itself, so who’s the Leader now?”

One of them raised a hand, “It’s obviously me! I’m Jīn Guāngyáo and I killed the greatest villain from the House of Wēn!”

Wèi Wúxiàn sat on the inn’s front steps and watched on with great pleasure.

In games like this, there was boundless high regard for the Chief Cultivator Liǎnfang-Zūn. Of course, everyone would welcome playing that role the most. Although his background made people too embarrassed to speak of it, it was precisely because of it that him climbing to the highest position made people gasp even more in admiration of his achievements. During the Sunshot Campaign, he had acted as a spy for a number of years and had been a natural at it. He had run around in circles deceiving the entire Wēn Sect of Qíshān both inside and out, having them divulge countless secrets without even realizing it. After the Sunshot Campaign, he was fawned over in every possible way with terrific amounts of cleverness and an extreme variety of methods. Finally, he took the position of Chief Cultivator and became the person fully deserving of ranking first among the multitude of cultivation Houses. Such a life can be called legendary. If was playing, he would also want to try out for the part of Jīn Guāngyáo. Picking this little boy to be the Leader was just common sense!

So JGY is super well-liked by everyone, or so we’re led to believe at this point in the story. It’s mentioned in the novel very early on that he is JGS’s bastard, but it’s definitely pretty much glossed over and this certainly makes it sound like nobody cared about his “embarrassing” history. (We will come to learn this is, in fact, bullshit.) BUT, WWX does seem to think quite well of him.

Fun language bit about the “fawned over in every possible way with terrific amounts of cleverness and an extreme variety of methods.” The sentence uses 百般, 千般, 万般 to show the increase of how much praise got heaped upon him as 百=100, 千=1,000, and 万=10,000.

My other takeaway, which I think the show did a pretty bad job at conveying, was the passage of time and that JGY was actually with the Wēn Sect for years.

Moving on.

Another one of them protested, “I’m Niè Míngjué and I’ve won the most battles and have had the most captives surrender to me. I should be the Leader!”

‘Jīn Guāngyáo’ said, “But I’m the Chief Cultivator.”

‘Niè Míngjué’ raised his fist, “So what if you’re Chief Cultivator. You’re also my sān-dì, so you won’t see me running off with my tail between my legs.”

As expected, ‘Jīn Guāngyáo’ was rather well-suited at getting into character. He hunched his shoulders and ran away.

Sān-dì (三弟) just means third brother. AKA JGY was the youngest within 3zun.

Then another kid said, “You’re the one that died young.”

Since he had chosen to be a certain cultivation head, he naturally had been looking forward to being said cultivation head a little bit. ‘Niè Míngjué’ got mad, “Jīn Zixuān, you died earlier than I did. You had an even shorter life!”

‘Jīn Zixuān’ was unconvinced, “So what if I died younger? I was ranked Number Three!”

“Being ranked Number Three just means your looks were ranked Number Three!”

At that point, one of the little boys seemed tired of both running and standing, so he slowly walked over by the steps and sat down by Wèi Wúxiàn. He waved his hand like he was some sort of mediator and said, “Alright already, there’s no need to fight about it. I’m the Yílíng Lǎozǔ, so I’m the most awesome.”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “……”

He glanced down and, sure enough, the little kid was carrying a little branch at his waist that was probably meant to be Chénqíng.

There was actually a child pure enough to not bother arguing about good and evil. He was only debating the value of combat abilities and had willing taken up the honor of being the Yílíng Lǎozǔ.

Another kid said, “No way. I’m the Sāndú Shèngshǒu and I’m the most awesome.”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ rather understandingly said, “Jiāng Chéng! What can you do that’s better than me? When haven’t you lost to me? How is it a good idea for you to say you’re the most awesome? Aren’t you embarrassed?”

‘Jiāng Chéng’ said, “Hmph! How am I better than you? Do you remember how you died?”

Wèi Wúxiàn’s faint smile got wiped right off his face once his meaning sunk in.

It was like being jabbed with a highly poisonous needle without warning and it sent faint prickling pain throughout his entire body.

Oof. That is a lot.

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ next to him clapped, “Look at me! On my left is Chénqíng, on my right is the Tiger Seal. Plus I have the Ghost General. There are none beneath Heaven that are my equal! Hahahaha…” He had a stick in his left hand, a stone in his right, and was laughing hysterically, “Wēn Níng, come out!” A kid in the back of the crowd raised his hand and weakly said, “I’m here…that’s…I want to say…during the Sunshot Campaign, I didn’t die, either...”

Wèi Wúxiàn felt that he couldn’t not interrupt.

He said, “Fellow cultivators, can I ask you a question?”

The children had never had an adult take part when they played this game before, let alone one that didn’t scold them and was completely serious about asking them a question. The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ was giving him a strange and guarded look as he said, “What do you want to ask?”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Why don’t you have any people from the Lán Sect of Gūsū?”

“We do!”

“Where are they?”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ pointed at a kid that hadn’t opened his mouth to say a single word from the start, “That’s him.”

Wèi Wúxiàn looked at him and, sure enough, he was completely fine-featured and looked like a charming child. He had a clean, white string wrapped around his forehead to serve as his head ribbon. He asked, “Who is he?”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ disdainfully curled his lip and said, “Lán Wàngjī!”

…Great. This group of children grasped his essence. If you’re playing the part of Lán Wàngjī you really ought to shut up and not talk!

Then suddenly, the corners of Wèi Wúxiàn’s mouth began to curl again.

That little poisoned needle got pulled out and he didn’t know what cranny it got tossed into, but all the stinging pain had instantly been swept away. Wèi Wúxiàn said to himself, “It’s both wonderful and strange. He’s such a stuffy person. Why does he always make me feel so happy?”

*yelling* Why does he make you so happy, WWX? Any guesses?

I’ve seen this translated as “boring” instead of “stuffy” so I’ll explain a bit. The word used is 闷 (mèn) which can be read as boring, so that’s not wrong. But, it’s a little more nuanced than that. It can also mean something “sealed tight” or “suffocate” or “shut indoors.” Like how a hot room without circulation can be called “stuffy.” But in English, we can use stuffy to mean someone that’s kinda old-fashioned and very stuck on being prim and proper. Which certainly is someone people might consider “boring”! I just didn’t think “boring” alone really captured it though.

Of course, this is when LWJ finally emerges from his Fortress of Solitude (after needing time to get through his Gay Panic.)

When Lán Wàngjī came downstairs, he saw Wèi Wúxiàn sitting on the steps and sharing a steamed bun with a group of children. Wèi Wúxiàn was eating his bun while directing two children that were back-to-back in front of him. “……There are currently countless Wēn cultivators before. They’re all armed and they’ve got you completely surrounded. Keep your eyes sharp. Yes, just like that. OK. Lán Wàngjī, pay attention. This isn’t the current you during peacetime. You’re covered in blood! Your killing intent is so heavy! Your expression is so fierce! Wèi Wúxiàn, get a bit closer to him. Aren’t you going to twirl your flute? Let’s see you twirl it one-handed. Have pizzazz. Do you know what pizzazz is? Come let me teach you.” ‘Wèi Wúxiàn’ made an “oh” sound and handed over the thin stick he was carrying. Wèi Wúxiàn rather skillfully and swiftly twirled ‘Chénqíng’ around between two of his fingers, causing the group of kids to whoop with excitement.

Lán Wàngjī, “……”

He quietly walked over and Wèi Wúxiàn saw him coming, so he brushed off the dust from his backside and called out his goodbyes to the kids. It had been so easy to just stand up and walk along the road with a smile. It was oddly like being drugged.

Lán Wàngjī, “……”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “Hahahahahaha, I’m sorry, Hánguāng-Jūn. I ended up sharing the breakfast I bought for you with them. I’ll buy more for us in a moment.”

Lán Wàngjī, “Okay.”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “How about it? Weren’t those two kids just now cute? Who do you suspect the kid with the string around his head was imitating? Hahahaha…”

He was speechless for a moment, then Lán Wàngjī ultimately couldn’t help saying, “……What exactly did I do last night?”

It definitely couldn’t have been anything simple. Otherwise, why did it make Wèi Wúxiàn keep laughing???

Wèi Wúxiàn kept waving his hand, “No, no, no, no, no. You didn’t do anything. I was just being silly, hahahahahaha…Alright, ahem, Hánguāng-Jūn, I swear I’ll talk business.”

Lán Wàngjī said, “Go ahead.”

Apparently WWX missed his calling and should have gotten into theater!

And poor LWJ is still panicking.

So now they’re off to Shǔdōng and we’ll be starting the Yi City arc next.

[sinsbymanka]

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.  

[chilling-seavey]

Since we witnessed Avalon and Daniel fighting a lot can we have a cute lil first date with them👉👈

Of course you can! 🥰 And a lil themed title stripe with faceclaims to set the qtvtp mood...

Warnings: Bit of spice but nothing too detailed 

Avalon clutched her phone to her ear, sitting in her car in the parking lot behind Bluestone Lane after her shift. The line rang once…twice…she rechecked the number that was scribbled on the receipt in her hand. She felt like a fool. What was she trying to gain from this? The line rang a third time. She shifted nervously in her seat and nearly gasped when the ringing stopped a voice came through the line,

“Hello?”

Avalon hesitated.

“Hello?” he tried again.

“H-Hi.” Avalon spit out. She mentally cringed at the wavering of her voice. “Is this…” she glanced back down at the receipt as if she hadn’t read it enough times to perfectly well know his name, “Daniel?”

There was a small shuffle through the phone as she could almost hear him smile, “Avalon.”

“Yeah.” she exhaled in near relief.

“Part of me wasn’t expecting you to call.”

“Why’s that?”

“I dunno. You didn’t seem like the type to take much bullshit.”

“I don’t.”

“Well I’ll thank my lucky stars you gave me a shot then.”

There was a pause and Avalon bit her lip to hide from no one the smile that was starting to form itself on her face. She pressed her hand to her cheek and rested her elbow on the window ledge of her car.

Daniel shuffled around through the phone before continuing, braking their momentary silence, “Would you like to go out with me this weekend?”

Avalon wasn’t sure what she had expected him to say when she called him but his question had her heart fluttering with nervousness. Despite this, she played it cool, “Where would you take me?”

Daniel chuckled, “Does Santa Monica sound good?”

“The Pier?” Avalon squinted out the car window in the afternoon sun, “Alright.”

“Good. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up on Saturday. 6?”

“6 is fine.”

June 17, 2017

Here

Avalon stared down at the simple word on her phone screen. Four simple letters that she had no clue would honestly change the course of her life from that point onwards. She stood in front of her full length mirror in her living room and eyed her soft reddish brown dress, suddenly very unsure about her choice in outfit – she had already changed three times that evening and it seemed four wasn’t the lucky number.

But she had no time to go change again because Daniel was already there to pick her up – even if he was a few minutes late. She grabbed her purse and her keys and hurried out of the door and down the hall, trying to ignore the nervous butterflies that were filling her stomach.

He was stood outside her apartment complex, leaning against a shiny white Tesla in jeans and a patterned button up covered by a burgundy jacket. She could see him eyeing her up as she exited the building and approached him, her cheeks dusting a little pink under her gentle makeup and she discreetly held her arms in front of herself. She wished she didn’t wear a dress.

“Hi.” she said softly.

“Hi.” Daniel replied, eyes lingering on her as she fell to a stop a few small paces away.

“I didn’t know if this was appropriate to wear but…it’s warm tonight so…” Avalon faded out nervously.

“No,” Daniel shut her nerves down quickly, “You look amazing.”

Avalon could only blush lightly and thank him, and then once more when he opened the door for her. She eyed the interior of the car when he closed the door and walked around to the other side and she took that moment to take a deep breath. She had been on a good amount of dates in her lifetime – all twenty-one years of it – and yet this one made her feel like a shy little girl again. It wasn’t shallow enough to be his obvious money that intimidated her and it maybe wasn’t necessarily his attractiveness, but there was something about him that had those butterflies fluttering excitedly and nervously inside her.

Daniel climbed in the drivers side and started the car. He directed a question to her as he pulled away from the curb, “Did you eat already?”

“Just something small.” Avalon said.

“You’ll make it to the pier then?”

“Yes. I think I’ll survive.” Avalon giggled.

Daniel smiled and she caught it, glancing at him as he stared out the windshield as he drove them through the downtown streets of Los Angeles. The sun was still up but getting lower on the horizon and it sent sparkles of light across the ocean as they approached the beaches. They were quiet for a moment.

“You are older than eighteen, right?” Daniel asked to break the silence.

“Yeah. I’m twenty-one. Twenty-two in December.” Avalon assured him easily.

“Good…nice. I turned twenty-two in April.”

Avalon eyed him for a moment as he drove, “You’re only twenty-two?”

“What, do I look old or something?” he chuckled.

“No,” Avalon answered quickly as she eyed the Tesla logo between his hands on the steering wheel, “You just…seem to have a lot of money for someone so young. $100 tip isn’t something to be brushed off.”

“Well I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.” Daniel shrugged. “My best friend and I had the right connections out of university last year and right away our record company has been catching like wildfire. It’s incredible. I’m truly blessed. Just bought this beaut of a car last month; bit of a late birthday gift to myself.”

“That’s…amazing. I’m just a waitress.” Avalon chuckled lightly.

“No dream job on the horizon?” he asked.

Avalon shrugged, “Not really. I volunteer at the kids club by the beach sometimes but nothing in life seems to be calling to me…at least not yet.”

“That’s okay too. You have lots of time.”

Daniel parked the car by the beach, navigating through the crowds that were making their way down the boardwalk towards the brightly lit pier. The sky was painted a light orange as evening was falling and the day was ending but their night was only just beginning. Daniel and Avalon got out of the car and he locked it behind them as they made their way to the pier.

“So are you from LA?” he asked.

“Oregon originally.” Avalon answered.

“Really? Me too. Whereabouts?”

“Bit outside Salem…just east. You?”

“My family bounced across the river between Portland and Vancouver a bit. Couldn’t seem to decide between Oregon and Washington but I was born in Oregon.”

“Small world.” Avalon chuckled lightly. She eyed him beside her for a moment as they walked. He was taller than her by a few inches and the angle she was at had the sun casting a warm glow over his face. She looked away again, turning to the boardwalk they walked along, “Work brought you here then?”

“Yep. University of Washington grad just like my brothers but life had higher hopes for me than it did them.”

“They’re not here?”

“My eldest brother moved to Nashville for real estate and my second brother is in LA too…trying his luck with acting.”

“Acting.” Avalon breathed.

“Yeah.” Daniel chuckled lightly. “Bit of a stretch but he’d never hear me say that.”

“Of course not.” Avalon smiled softly.

They approached the ticket booth and Daniel ordered them a roll of tickets paid in cash with a slide of a $50 bill. Avalon had her hands resting nervously on her purse as she watched him pay without second guessing…she hated when people bought things for her…she always felt far too much of a burden.

Daniel seemed to sense her hesitation when he turned back to her with the roll of faire tickets in his hand, “I asked you out. I pay.”

Avalon only smiled lightly and nodded. He set his hand on the small of her back – barely ghosting her body – to lead her farther onto the pier and under the large sign that read Pacific Park. She shivered at his simple touch but his hand was gone before it could even be processed. With the sun setting, the neon lights of the fair began to turn on and soon the pier was lively with nightlife of families and young adults alike running between rides and arcade games.

At this time in the world, Daniel’s career was new so he could still generally go through public life ‘unnoticed’ which made the night that much more special. He didn’t have to worry about publicity or work and he just had fun. It was easy to have fun with Avalon, especially when she was screaming on the roller coaster at the top of her lungs. She was carefree and genuine and pretty and Daniel couldn’t help but realize he might be falling for her already.

After a few rides, they shared a funnel cake on a bench over looking the beach and the ocean as the sun finally dipped below the horizon. They sat side by side as they chatted and ate, nearly so close that their thighs were touching. They talked about growing up and their jobs and their favourite things from films to family vacations.

“Do you snowboard?” Daniel asked through a mouthful of funnel cake.

Avalon giggled at the way it morphed his voice and then shook her head, “No. Never.”

“Never?” Daniel gaped at her. They both moved in for another piece and their plastic forks bumped. “Well then, I’ll just have to take you snowboarding one weekend.”

Avalon smiled bashfully as he obviously was already thinking about seeing her again, “That would be fun.”

When their snack was done, the sun was completely set and the night sky was polluted with city lights and the neon stripes that filled the pier. Life was still bustling around them as strangers made the most of the fair and Santa Monica was filled with lively screams and noises of games and rides. Daniel and Avalon walked side by side through the fair and she stopped when he did.

He glanced at the game booth he stopped beside and sent her a cheeky smile, “Is it cliché for me to win you a bear?”

“Disgustingly cliché.” Avalon agreed.

“Let me do it anyway?”

“Of course.” she stepped up beside him. “Let’s see that arm, Daniel.”

He handed the clerk two of their dwindling roll of tickets in exchange for three balls. The objective was to knock down the three horses each at varying distances from the player and if you got all three, you won the largest prize.

Avalon watched intently as Daniel picked up one of the balls and tossed it in the air as if to get a feeling for it. He glanced at her, sent her a cocky smirk, and then aimed and threw it to one of the targets. Clear miss.

“Goddamn.” Daniel mumbled.

Avalon laughed lightly and leaned forward on the wooden counter ledge as he picked up another ball. She watched him lick his lips and then narrow his light eyes in concentration and he threw the second. Miss.

“What the fuck.” Daniel grumbled, grabbing the last one. His cheeks were slightly pink in embarrassment. He missed the last one too by only an inch or so. “Oh come on.”

Avalon hid her laughter behind her hands.

Daniel looked to the clerk who was retrieving the balls, “How much for the bear?”

“They’re not for sale.” the man said with an amused smirk.

“Please?” Daniel nearly begged. “I just want a bear to impress this pretty girl. Do me a solid, bro.”

“Should have better aim then, dude.” the clerk retorted. He fished around behind the counter and set a rubber duck with a little sailors hat on the surface, “Best I can give you is this.”

“Oh, great.” Daniel said sarcastically. “A pity prize.”

“Don’t be such a sore loser. My turn.” Avalon nudged him to the side. She handed over her two tickets and got three balls in return.

Daniel was left shocked as she hit every horse down and was passed one of the large teddy bears off the shelf.

“Thank you!” Avalon said to the clerk as she struggled to hold the bear that was almost the size of her. She turned to look at Daniel behind the bear as they started walking away, “Here. I won you the bear you wanted so badly.”

“What the hell? How did you do that?” Daniel gaped, helping her to hold the bear up off the ground.

“I played softball for a few years.” she said proudly.

“Damn.” Daniel tisked.

“Don’t be jealous. You got a cute duckie.” Avalon nudged him.

Daniel frowned down at the rubber duck in his hand.

Their last stop was the ferris wheel and after a bit of a lineup they were buckled into their seats with the huge teddy bear tucked between them. They fell into natural silence for a bit as the wheel spun them around slowly and at the top they could see a lot of Los Angeles lit up through the night. Daniel stared at her for a while as she looked out across the city and when he finally turned to admire the ocean, she stared at him. He must have been one of – if not the – most handsome men she had ever seen.

When the ride was over and their tickets were all used up, they headed back up the pier towards the parking lot by the beach. As they walked away from the fair the lights faded a little and Daniel glanced at her and her light fabric dress she wore.

“Are you cold?” he asked, breaking their quiet.

Avalon looked over at him but she couldn’t answer before he was shrugging off his jacket and draping it over her shoulders. She smiled softly and thanked him with a whisper.

They continued in peaceful silence and Daniel glanced down between them to her hand that wasn’t holding her bear. He discreetly reached out to brush his fingers over hers just to hear her gasp under her breath in surprise. They didn’t speak as they walked slowly and he slid his hand into hers, carefully lacing their fingers together as if he were treading in dangerous waters. But Avalon only looked up at him and smiled sweetly, holding his hand nice and snugly. He made her heart race.

They soon reached the car and he unlocked it so she could tuck the bear into the backseat. He stood a few paces away to just watch her, how she set the stuffed animal in the seat to make it look like it was actually sitting and buckled in. He was falling for her. He had never fallen for anyone and, gosh, it was only the first date.

Avalon closed the door and turned to smile at him, “He’s all buckled in.”

“Good.” Daniel whispered gently in reply.

He stepped closer as she opened the passenger door and he cautiously grabbed her arm to stop her. Her little gasp filled the space between them as he turned her around and gently leaned her back against the side of his car. The parking lot was quiet and they both took a second to stare at each other, standing so close they could feel each other’s body heat.

She could see the lights from the near distant pier reflecting in his eyes. He could see the stars in hers. His eyes focused on her face, down her nose, her neck, and lingered on her collarbones and curves of her breasts that pushed up the material of her soft brown dress. His jacket that was draped around her shoulder was slightly big on her.

Daniel spoke in a whisper, “Can I kis-”

She finished his question for him as she set her hand on his chest and leaned up to push her lips on his. They both froze for a moment in time, unmoving, still except for the light ocean breeze that ruffled their hair. Daniel’s hands finally moved to her cheeks, locking her lips with his in a soft kiss as they breathed in time together. They shared long lingering kisses, lips meeting and parting slowly in the nighttime air to the faint waves of the ocean on the shore.

Avalon’s arms slid around his shoulders and she tilted her head slightly to kiss him deeper, welcoming the flick of his tongue against hers with a small inhale. Their kisses were careful and still slightly hesitant but only growing deeper with time as tongues pushed gently against each other between mostly closed mouthed kisses.

Daniel moved his hands from her face down to her hips and gently led her back, breaking their kiss. They still stayed close as their noses brushed and lungs breathed in the sea air together as if they had known each other far longer than merely two days. He sighed lightly and left a few more soft kisses to her lips and she could feel his lashes brushing her cheeks when he moved and she inhaled the woodsy smell of his cologne as her eyes stayed closed a moment longer.

“Wanna come over?”

His words fell between them like a simple breath, holding the status of their early-stage relationship in its grasp. With eyes still closed, Avalon bit back a little smile and nodded gently, sliding her hands from around his neck to his shoulders.

“Yeah?” Daniel clarified.

“Yeah.” she whispered, pushing another kiss to his lips.

Both of them barely remembered getting in the car or driving out of the parking lot and the ride through the city streets was perfectly peacefully silent. They both had little smiles on their faces and Avalon was looking out the side window holding the little rubber duck in her hands on her lap, her lips tingling from where he had kissed her. He somehow managed to take her breath away so easily.

Daniel’s head was spinning. He was twenty-two, he had experiences with girls, but there was something about Avalon that was the first one to make him nervous. It felt so easy at Bluestone. He flirted, he sent his sweet smile, and got her number, but once he got to know her, it all felt so…real. He pulled up to a red light and coasted a stop. The roads were almost empty and the streetlamps that lined the sidewalks cast shadows and light across the interior of the expensive car. They made her dark eyes sparkle to the point where he reached over to set his finger on the side of her face and turned her to face him as he leaned in for another kiss. He couldn’t get enough of her.

Avalon smiled softly into it, gladly kissing him back, letting her eyes close and her senses to be captivated by him. She was already addicted. The light turned green and they barely even noticed until the car behind them honked. They shared nervous little chuckles as they continued through LA and towards Daniel’s house.

He surprisingly didn’t live in a mansion – Avalon had expected one for some reason – but Daniel pulled up into the driveway of a white-painted single storey house in the neighbourhood just out of downtown. It was nice. They both got out, not speaking a word as he plugged in his car and then led her up to the front porch. The teddy bear was left in the backseat.

The moment they were inside and the front door was closed, their lips found each other again like instinct. It was a mess of kicking off shoes and him leading her down the hallway to his room all while trying to stay connected by their mouths ungracefully. Avalon barely had a chance to even take in the sleek white and black accents of his bedroom before he was pushing off his jacket from her shoulders and she was working on the buttons on his shirt.

The rubber duck that was still tucked in her hand was haphazardly set on his side table as they fell onto his king size bed in a mess of sheets, limbs, and fiery kisses.

When their cravings had been filled and the sweat of the evening warmed their skin, they laid side by side under the white sheets, chests rising and falling in perfect time. Daniel had his arm around her shoulders and Avalon had hers resting against his bare chest, both of them laying in perfect silence as they wrapped their minds around the evening.

“I don’t sleep with guys on the first date.” she whispered.

Daniel shifted slightly to look her in the eye, “Was that…”

“No. It wasn’t my first time.” Avalon finished for him. “But I…I’ve just never…I’ve never slept with someone so quickly.”

“Is that a problem?” Daniel asked quietly, brushing her tangled blonde hair back from her face.

She propped herself up on her one arm and smiled softly and shook her head, “Not with you.”

Daniel swiped his thumb over her bottom lip, “Well…I don’t ever like women as much as I like you.”

Avalon’s cheeks flushed pinker than they already were and she leaned down to kiss him once.

“Stay the night?” he asked through a soft breath, dusting his lips across her cheek until shivers slunk down her arms.

Avalon smiled happily and nodded, resting her head down against his chest. Daniel pet her hair back and kissed the top of her head and she fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. The first night of the rest of their lives.

Detective Team: @jonahlovescoffee @randomlimelightxxx @stuffofseaveyy @hopinglimelight @tempus-ut-luceant @br4nd1s @xkelsev @hiya-its-amber @the-girl-who-cried-wolf @bessonbae

[willykappymarnsmatts]

Angels Like You (Can't Fly Down Here With Me)(A. Matthews/M. Marner)(Chapter 2)

As soon as Mitch closes and locks the door to his apartment, he slumps against it, dropping his bag to the floor in the process. His cheeks are scratchy and dry from the tears that had been falling for like half an hour, but at least he’s finally stopped crying. He pulls his phone out of his sweatpants pocket and glances at the notifications. There’s only a snapchat from Dylan Strome and an Instagram message from Kasperi, probably from before his practice started. Nothing from Monica, which hurts more than he thought it would. He clicks his phone off, and puts it on the tile floor next to him. He leans his head back but misjudges how far he’s sitting from the door and ends up banging the back of his head against it. “Fuck,” he mutters, shutting his eyes closed. He isn’t about to start crying again, and definitely not about bumping his goddamn head.

His stomach rumbles, but he doesn’t want to get up from the cool tile floor. His entire body aches like somebody just cross-checked him onto his face. Not even Zeus, his dog, is there to cheer him up, since he’s visiting with Mitch’s brother for the week. Usually Mitch would call Monica after practice, but after her surprise showing up in the locker room, he doubts that will ever happen again. Maybe he could call Auston, but after the whole teary-hug-thing, he doesn’t know if that’s the best idea ever. Auston would just not stop asking if he’s okay, rather than pretending like nothing happened, which is honestly all that Mitch needs right now. It hurts too much to even think about it.

He has to go get wasted.

Even though it's not even six p.m.

So he scrolls through his phone to find Willy’s number and sends a quick text.

Drinks?

The ‘typing’ dots show up almost right away, and a second later a message pops up.

Mitch it’s 4:30

And?

Yeah ur right

I’ll be at ur place in 15

Mitch nods at his phone and slowly gets up from the floor. He thinks about texting Fred and Mo and maybe Zach, but he’s not really in the mood for a big party thing. He just wants to get drunk with one of his best friends.

So he goes into his room and pulls off his shirt to change into something a bit nicer when his phone dings with another text from Will.

Auston coming?

No and don’t ask him

I just wanna hang u and me

He does feel kind of bad about not asking him, because when do they ever go out without each other, but Mitch knows Auston well enough to know that he won’t let Mitch breathe if he were to come. Instead of overthinking it, Mitch grabs his keys and goes to wait outside his apartment building for Will’s car.

He’s outside for a couple of minutes before Will gets there, and when he pulls up Mitch jumps up and runs the couple of meters to his black car. “William,” Mitch states when he opens the passenger-side door.

“Mitchell. Where are we heading?” He taps the steering wheel lightly and runs his hand through his blonde hair. He is really pretty, Mitch has to admit but he’s definitely not his type, the whole ‘I’m beautiful and I know it’ thing a bit too obvious.

If he were gay, that is. He’s not. Definitely not.

“The usual place.” Mitch replies, and Will nods and puts the car in gear. It’s silent for the first few minutes, Will focusing on getting through the Toronto traffic, Mitch staring blankly at his phone. He opens Instagram, but the first picture on his feed is from Monica’s account, so he quickly unfollows her and shuts off his phone, dropping it onto his lap when he’s done.

“So,” Will starts, unsure of how Mitch will take the question he’s about to ask.

“If you’re going to start with ‘how are you doing with the breakup, Mitch?’ don’t even bother. I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” Mitch puts on a deep voice and waves his hands in the air in an attempt to mock Will, and it’s obvious he’s only half-joking. Will doesnt take it personally, though, telling himself that his friend is going through a lot.

“Um, first of all, that is not how I sound, and second of all, I was going to ask what’s going on with you and Auston? Usually the three of us go out, and after this afternoon…” he trails off.

“Nothings going on with me and Auston,” Mitch says slowly, unsure of what exactly Will is getting at. “What are you even talking about? I didn’t ask him to come because I knew he’d be weird about it and not let me live.” Will just nods, looking straight ahead. He turns his blinker on and Mitch starts again. “What are you talking about?” “Nothing. I just assumed something might have happened, that’s all.” Mitch gives him a look and Will lets out a breathy laugh. “Seriously! That’s all.” Mitch nods at him cautiously and the conversation kind of trails off. They talk hockey for a couple minutes, but it’s painfully obvious that the two are waiting to get at least one drink down to talk about their relationship, or, in Mitch’s case, ex-relationship, problems.

Will makes another turn into the parking lot of a small bar you wouldn't notice if you didn’t know exactly where it was. The two walk into the bar and realize it’s busier than they would have thought it would be at 5 in the afternoon, but what difference does it make at this point. They’re already there, so Mitch finds a booth while Will goes to the bar to order them beers. Mitch pulls out his phone and sees a text from Auston that reads it was sent five minutes ago.

how r u mitch? everything ok? :(

Mitch has a weird sinking feeling in his stomach when he reads the text, but he tells himself he shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s not like he did anything wrong. He ignores the text and forces a smile he knows looks fake when Will comes back to the table, a beer in each hand. He sets one down in front of Mitch and the two sit in silence for a second. “Spill. Everything.”

“I don’t even know what the fuck happened, Willy. I knew something was coming, because she always gets kind of distant and stops responding to my texts and calls before she pulls some drastic bullshit like this, but I didn’t think she’d make me choose between my two favourite people on the planet.” He looks up suddenly, as if the words are falling out of his mouth faster than he can process them. “No offence, you’re obviously also my favorite person, it’s just...” Will just shakes his head, smiles a bit and waves him off, taking a sip of his drink. Mitch does the same, and Will takes it as a chance for him to talk.

“Did you ever actually love her, Mitch? Like, I know you always said she’s so great and makes you so happy, but when you really think about it, was there ever even one full day where you were completely and utterly happy with her?”

He pauses and racks his brain for something, anything, literally one fucking memory of the two of them together when Mitch wasn’t berated for something he did wrong, or when she wasn’t on her phone the entire time they were together, or that time she ditched him for her friends on their six month anniversary where Mitch had planned a dinner at a fancy restaurant and they would walk through downtown Toronto in the evening and watch the sunrise on the beach. He was devastated that day, and suddenly the sadness he was feeling turns to anger and guilt. Anger at her, for everything she put him through while somehow convincing him it was love, and guilt, for all the times he ignored his friends while they told him how bad she was for her. He feels like he’s about to start crying again, and he knows he will if he looks up at his friend, so staring at the table, he says, “I can’t.”

Will nods, cocking his head to the side. “It’s okay, Marns. And it’s okay that you’re still hurting over her, because trust me, even though now you realize it was never real, it’s gonna hurt like hell. You have to let it, otherwise it’ll never get better.” “I’ve been through a breakup before, William,” Mitch snaps, but he’s smiling.

“I know, I just want you to know that I’m here for you. And so is Auston.” He doesn’t realize what he’s implying until it’s out of his mouth, but he’s almost 100% sure Mitch missed it too. Just to be safe, he adds, “And the rest of the team, too, obviously.”

Mitch nods and downs half his beer, then looks at Will. “Honestly it doesn’t even hurt now that I realize that. I’m just really fucking angry.”

“So you know what you should do?”

“Hm?” Mitch tips the glass of beer back to finish it off and sets it back on the table, never breaking eye-contact with Willy.

“When you get home, you pack a box of her shit together and fucking set fire to it. Burn everything. Pictures, souvenirs, ticket stubs, everything. It’s what I did when I broke up with my high school girlfriend, and it’s honestly really freeing.”

Mitch nods, kind of unsure about the idea of setting their relationship up in flames. Will reads him easily though, so he laughs and continues. “Or, you could put her shit in a box and tell her to come pick it up, otherwise it's going in the trash.” The two of them smile and Mitch nods.

“That sounds like a much better option. And still freeing.” There’s a lull in conversation, and honestly Mitch doesn’t have much more to say about his predicament other than long, angry rants, so he decides to prompt Willy. “So, you and Kas…”

“Oh my God my turn! Okay so he called me last night, right,” he leans forward and props his elbows up on the table, and Mitch smiles and leans his head in his hands.

The two of them spend the next few hours in their booth, Mitch downing beer after beer, Will stopping after one because he’s going to be the one to have to drive them both home. Close to eight pm, Will realizes how long the two of them have been sitting there, as well as just how drunk Mitch is. He’s slurring his words and isn’t really focusing on Will, looking around the room unfocused while he attempts to keep up with the conversation. He smiles to himself and tells Mitch it’s time to get home.

“No,�� he states like a five year old. “I don’t wanna go home.”

“Yes, you do, bud. We have a game tomorrow night, and you don’t wanna be too tired and hungover to play, do you?”

Mitch shakes his head while Will stands, stuffs his phone into his pocket, and pulls out his keys. He waits for Mitch to stand, then wraps his arm around his waist to help him to the door. He could probably walk on his own, but he doesn’t want to take that chance in a crowded bar with a guy who is heavier as dead weight than he looks like he’d be.

The drive home is silent until Mitch picks up his phone and quickly realizes he can’t read what’s on the screen. “I’m drunk,” he announces, and Will laughs. “Can you read it?” he attempts to hand his phone to Will, then realizes shit, he’s driving, and pulls it back to himself.

“After, Mitch,” and he nods exaggeratedly in response. They pull up to Mitch’s apartment, and getting him up to his floor is slightly easier than Will imagined it would be. He does have to help him into bed, though, and doesn’t bother undressing him. He pulls the covers back for Mitch and sits him down on the mattress. He takes the phone from him while he lies down and glances at the screen. There's five text messages from Auston, all spaced out over the three hours they’d been out.

if u need to talk, u know im here

mitch?

ur probably busy or smtg… text when u get a chance

did i make things weird tdy? im sry if i did

call me mitch plz

“Jesus,” Will mutters under his breath and unlocks Mitch’s phone to respond. Mitch gave him his passcode a long time ago, so he knows he won’t care.

Hey its Will

Everything is fine, Mitch is super drunk, that's all

Dw about him

oh

u guys went out?

Will knows how bad it looks that the two of them went without Auston, but he should be able to understand.

He needed some one-on-one w someone not as close to him I think

It def wasn't a party, we drowned in our emotions, man

alright i get it

shit, can u plz delete the messages from before?

including these actually

Ofc np

“Night, Mitch,” Will whispers, although he already realizes Mitch is passed out. He sets his phone on the night table next to him and makes sure to lock the apartment door behind him. Mitch honestly cannot be more blind about his literal soulmate being madly in love with him, but he thinks he has a plan to help him figure it out now.

U should pick him up tmrw for the game. He's gonna be hungover af and moody

ofc, was planning on it anyways :)

[hopeshoodie]

I can’t believe it took me until part 8 to do my favorite boy but

 Here are the pros and cons of dating

Noah

 Cons

Noah is really non confrontational, so he tends to let issues fester. It’s not that he’s trying to let things build up, it’s just that he doesn’t think they’re important enough to bring up. He won’t start a fight about them when they’ve built up, but if MC is angry about something he’ll mention that there’s a bunch of things he’s let go but not have specifics. It ends up coming out like ‘yeah well what about all the other things?!’ ‘what other things!?’ ‘I don’t remember!!’. He’s not actively keeping track of all her mistakes, he genuinely does forgive and forget, but then when tensions come to a boil he needs to point out that there has been conflict that he just ignored. He’s not trying to guilt or gaslight MC, but sometimes it feels like it. If she thinks especially little of his intentions, it feels like he’s just pulling things out of thin air to be mad instead of focusing on the issue. That’s not what he’s doing- he just doesn’t address little things until they feel like big things. But of course he hasn’t done the introspection to truly understand how doing this is hurtful or articulate that he doesn’t mean it to be. 

When he and MC disagree, he lets things go wayyy too easily. This is fine if MC is a really mature, self-reflective person who can see that she’s crossed a line after the fact. But if MC is a little more selfish/immature, like Lottie, this is a huge con because he doesn’t give her accountability that would help her grow. We saw this with Hope- she wasn’t able to recognize how harmful her temper was when she was dating Noah because he never pointed it out, he just rolled over. If there’s a genuine problem- financial, emotional, logistically, he’ll ‘let it go’ until it’s a way bigger problem (and much harder to solve). 

Sorry that most of these cons are about how he fights with people, but that’s what we saw in-game lol. I’d love to know more about how Lucas or Rahim fight with their partners. But when you’re arguing, Noah tends to focus on really little details of what you said instead of listening to the whole thing and getting a sense of the bigger picture. So let’s say the issue is ‘Noah, I need you to tell me when you’re borrowing my car because you took it to the gym and then it went from having enough gas to get me to work in the morning to being on empty. This morning I had to stop for gas and that made me late.” The issue there is actually ‘please tell me when you’re using my car”, but he fixates on the gas part and says “well fine I can fill up your tank”. So he focuses on little details that he can fix instead of acknowledging the actual problem.

He internalizes things so fucking hard. Yes he intellectually knows that when MC gives him feedback on things she’s talking about his BEHAVIOR and not him as a person, but he definitely feels like shit about himself if he makes a mistake and MC calls him on it. He’ll definitely beat himself up about things for weeks after it happens, and his internal dialogue in general is pretty toxic. 

I can see him being a bit of a workaholic. Not in the same sense that Camilo is in Boat Party, but Noah definitely will go into the library on a day he’s scheduled to be off if he has projects to work on or will stay late because he got engrossed in research. Same thing now that the library’s closed because of COVID- it takes him two times as long to put everyone online and work from home, so he’s spending more time working than ever. He views it through the lens of the ‘greater good’- getting that display set up for the patrons is more important that seeing his wife two hours earlier because many members of the community outnumber one person. Plus he just cares so much about his work that he has a hard time seeing it as an inconvenience to other people.

He loves his family so much. Even when MC and he get married and have kids, he struggles to prioritize them over his siblings and parents. So if his little brother Arlo needs money, Noah won’t hesitate to give him a loan even if he and MC are struggling financially. If his aging mom or dad can’t live alone anymore, Noah will invite them to move in with his family, even if their house isn’t big enough to accommodate more people. I can see this being a huge point of contention, especially in that second scenario where MC would have to take on a caretaker role as well. Noah just wants to help people so bad and has a hard time saying no, so that can sometimes impede his partner.

He’s really used to living on low income, and so he has a lot of frugal habits and concessions that he thinks are normal that someone more middle or upper class might find irritating. These are all coming from my experience and things partners have complained about- but think things like only eating out once a month or refusing to turn the heat on until it’s dangerous or making his own laundry detergent. He grew up doing them out of necessity (and still does, student debt on a public librarian’s budget? I couldn’t do it), so he doesn’t realize how strange or frustrating his habits might be to someone who isn’t used to it. He also has a really hard time justifying spending excessive amounts of money, so if MC has lavish taste there’s going to be some conflict.

He doesn’t like initiating anything. Conversations, activities… you know *smirk emoji*. He will, but the ratio of when Noah suggests something to when MC does is like 1:8

My boy is beautiful, and his clothes look lovely, but he has 7 outfits that he rewears all the time. The closest thing to fashion is him putting a different button up shirt underneath his vest. It’s definitely a joke at work that he wears the same sweater, button up, and quarter length shirt just in different colors. You know that vine where the teacher walks into the room wearing the same shirt in different colors, saying the same ‘hello’ for like a million days. Noah’s coworkers remake that with him, because that’s exactly what he does. 

He’s a bit of a homebody, and loves routine. For me, massive plus, I love that. But for someone who wants to party regularly or be spontaneous, I can see constantly changing plans and going out with people being really draining to Noah. He has a small group of close friends, so he’d struggle to remember MC’s friends' names if she has more than five. Don’t get me wrong, Noah will take MC to galleries and dates at least three times a month, but it has to be discussed and scheduled in advance. 

Pros

Honestly, what isn’t a pro about him? Noah is a steadfast, thoughtful, and kind person. His politics are about taking care of people, providing them dignity and respect, and building community. He loves his family and is incredibly patient. He’s incredibly smart but not at all classist or condescending about it. I know this is supposed to be about how the islanders affect the person they’re dating, but oh my god he’s such a good person I love him. Let’s just say the pro for this is his positive aura. 

He’s really good at group dynamics and listening, so he goes out of his way to make everyone feel heard and valued. If someone says something and no one acknowledges it, he’ll specifically engage with them so they’re not left hanging. If someone’s trying to get a word in but can’t, he’ll get everyone’s attention then say ‘so and so had an idea’. He’s not one to boisterously laugh in group settings, but he always makes eye contact and smiles if you make a joke that flops or say something he agrees with. If people are teasing about something, he picks up if it’s gone too far really easily and will gracefully change the subject/tell them to knock it off. 

He’s super conscientious about respecting boundaries and ensuring the people around him are taking care of himself. If MC and him are long distance and texting after 10pm, he’ll be like “I love you, but we’ve both got to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. He’ll always check and make sure people have eaten when meeting up with them, and if they haven’t he’ll insist they get food from somewhere. 100% gives you his jacket, brings you water bottles, in general just wants you to take care of yourself. 

Above all else, Noah just always ensures the people around him feel safe. The last thing he’d want to do is make people uncomfortable, so safe driving, safe spaces, safe sex are all musts. He’s really good in crisis situations because he can calm people down and encourage them to think critically.  

Building off of that, he’s really aware of how much of the housework is being done by who and always tries to ensure he’s doing his part. I bet that was a big thing he ripped on Rahim for- Rahim expects his woman to clean up after him and do the bulk of the domestic work, and Noah knows that’s bullshit. I think Noah likes cleaning, anyways, and will usually take laundry/disinfecting bathrooms/cleaning dishes over cooking or running errands. But the mental load of keeping track of recipes/groceries that need replenishing and keeping up with kids needs, he’s aware of the imbalance and does his part. Obvious plus, because it sounds fucking exhausting to date a man. He fucking hates vaccuming though, and will splurge on a roomba. 

He has a dry sense of humor that’s very based in puns and hyperbole. Sometimes it’s hard to know when he’s joking or not, but he never makes you feel bad for missing a joke or dwells on something for too long. He absolutely subscribes to the Mcelroys’ No Bummers rule, there are some things you don’t joke about and he’s happy to shut down inappropriate comments or ‘jokes’. He definitely prefers physical gaffs and dumb ways of saying things, so his favorite comedians are John Mulaney and Chris Fleming. While humor isn’t an important part of how he relates to other people, Noah enjoys being around funny people and won’t shut down their energy like Rahim, Marisol, or Hope. 

This is just me projecting again but Noah is generoussss. Even though he doesn’t make a lot of money at the library, he still has a ‘mutual aid’ budget each month (and goes over it often). He’s the first one to give money to panhandlers, donate to gofundmes, and give friends/family personal loans. That definitely gets him into sticky situations sometimes, because he has a hard time saying no and can get taken advantage of, but ultimately I think it’s a pro because he’ll never forget where he came from and always prioritize helping other people. 

He has a really pretty, deep singing voice and this is a pro to me because fuck I meltttttt.

The shit he says to his partner or spouse? THE most romantic thing in the world. You think Mr. “you’re made of stardust” doesn’t shower his lover with the most meaningful lines at random times? You think he’s not quoting sappho and jane austen when he’s at a loss for words? You think he’s NOT going to turn over in bed on a lazy Saturday and say ‘this is the most perfect my life will ever be’? It’s not even prompted either, yes he’ll compliment Bobby or MC when they get all dressed up for date night, but more often he’ll profess his adoration in the middle of dinner, then take another forkful of food. 

Fantastic with kids, and this is a huge pro because people who can work with kids and be patient/positive with them make me so fuckim soft. But if/when (hopefully when because if MC didn’t want kids I don’t think it’d last) they had kids, Noah is happy to be on bottle duty, wake up early to the baby, and generally be a really involved parent. He’ll take a big chunk of paternity leave, and generally be there as much as humanly possible. Even when they have multiple little tyrants running around, he always makes time to be alone with MC and make sure she’s not taking on too much.

He’s basically a lesbian, which is definitely a reason I love him so much. Hear me out- loves milfs, loves 80s music, communicates affection through meaningful glances and playing with hair but will die before explicitly saying any of it, crushes on his best friend for the longest time but never makes the first move, puts way too much emotional meaning and personal metaphors into objects and then presents them as gifts, is into fandoms and actively collects pop figures, is attracted to assertive/powerful women, wears beige skinny jeans, wears VESTS….. That’s a lesbian. He’s a bisexual man, but he’s also an honorary lesbian.

A really good confidant. Noah’s an amazing listener and never judges people harshly- his life philosophy is as long as you’re not hurting anymore or yourself, everything else is details. So you can definitely tell him secrets and confess regrets to him and he’ll listen with those soft eyes and gentle nods. Talking to him about mistakes always feels like unburdening yourself. And he’d never tell your secret to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you cheat on him, lie to him, or die, he’s never going to tell anyone your secrets. 

[jafreitag]

Grateful Dead Monthly: Gaelic Park – New York, NY 8/26/71

Fifty years ago today, on Thursday, August 26, 1971, the Grateful Dead played a concert at Gaelic Park in New York City.

Gaelic Park is located at West 240th Street and Broadway, five miles north and east of Yankee Stadium, in the Bronx. In 1926, the Gaelic Athletic Association purchased it to host the Gaelic Games. What are Gaelic Games? I’m a sliver Irish (just learned that a few years ago from a cousin who did some DNA stuff), but I didn’t know about such games until I asked the Google machine. Here you go, from the Wiki:

“Gaelic games (Irish: Cluichí Gaelacha) are sports played in Ireland under the auspices of the Gaelic Athletic Association (GAA). They include Gaelic football, hurling, Gaelic handball and rounders. Women’s versions of hurling and football are also played: camogie, organised by the Camogie Association of Ireland, and ladies’ Gaelic football, organised by the Ladies’ Gaelic Football Association. While women’s versions are not organised by the GAA (with the exception of handball, where men’s and women’s handball competitions are both organised by the GAA Handball organisation), they are closely associated with it.”

Some to unpack there. What’s Gaelic football? It’s basically rugby. (The rules are probably way different, but this is a music blog, so don’t judge.) And hurling? Rugby with a small ball and sticks that look like sporty pizza paddles. (Again, don’t judge.) Gaelic handball? Racquetball, except you use your hands and you’re outside, not in some bougie health club from the ’80s. Finally, rounders? It’s actually alot like baseball. Pretty cool.

Why were the Dead there? A 9/2/71 piece in the Village Voice by Carman Moore, now archived on the Grateful Dead Sources blog, said that Gotham promoter Howard Stein, a Bill Graham competitor who booked the Dead to play at the Cap Theater in Port Chester, NY and the Academy of Music in NYC, had turned “the drab little Riverdale soccer field … into a summer rock mini-festival.” (Check out the poster above.) Moore’s writing has an early-70s sizzle, and he refers to his colleague, now-legendary rock scribe Robert Christgau. Here’s an excerpt:

“Last week’s Grateful Dead concert up at Gaelic Park was a usual Dead session, meaning that the band-to-fan-to-band electro-chemical process for which rock music is famed was on like high mass at Easter. Although I think I know most of the time what they are doing musically (Christgau will like this notion); I don’t quite understand them electro-chemically. Like the New York Knicks of two seasons ago, they can do excellent things together though they are not a group of deathless superstars. Garcia gets his songs across, but he can’t sing, and Bob Weir’s voice rises to about average…maybe better when he gets to screaming and the music sweeps him along. I still find it difficult to recognize the Dead songs that aren’t “Truckin'” or “St. Stephen” one from the other. I am not one of their fans, but seem to be one of their admirers. Their music speaks in a special language to their live listeners, and that language has the vocabulary of everybody else, but a convoluted syntax all its own. The note sequences are not completely dependent upon musical factors but are also dictated by how involved the band feels and also upon what kind of heat the audience is giving off. I’m trying to get to some essences of this thing.

The drama of a Dead concert revolves around the fact that wherever the band plays they know that a certain number (several tons) of their partisans will be there and that their crowd knows the Dead potential to excite them, but they also know that the Dead may not get into gear until the crowd begins to apply some heat, and so forth. Both parties also know that the concert will be long enough and informal enough for anything to happen on either side of the footlights, and so audiences improvise (smoke, go to the hot dog stand, kiss and snuggle, cheer, dance, listen like star-struck fools) just like their musician friends on stage (who play light and funny for awhile, retire backstage awhile, stand around, or get lost in a piece and turn on the heavy jets). Like good lovers, the Grateful Dead know the secrets of good foreplay, taking your time, surprising the partner for awhile, and then just reacting for a spell.”

The timing of the show seems odd. The band was on the East Coast in July, but began August back in Cali – LA, SD, Berkeley – before a three-night run at Chicago’s historic Auditorium Theater. Then they trekked back to NYC. Our resident Deaditor ECM explains that aspect: “This show was supposed to be played the day before the Yale Bowl concert on July 30, but some issues with the equipment trucks and/or weather prevented it from happening from the scheduled date. There are a few stories on the web about people who didn’t get the message (no twitter back then!) and dropped some acid only to show up to an empty stadium. Haha!”

Moore said that the show reminded him of “a high school stadium I used to know – low stands, unfulfilled infield grass, mud holes here and there, beer sold at one end in some quantity.” He continued:

“The formal shape of the concert was a general crescendo, light at the beginning and heavy-groovy at the end – not a shooting-star, call-the-law finale, just a heightened physical-emotional climate…the goods delivered as promised…sort of like good preaching in a church known to be a happy place. I did not enjoy their country-westernish opening tunes; maybe they didn’t either, because the pieces were awfully short. But by the three-quarter mark they had involved themselves, the crowd, and me too.

First they got the rhythm engaged and finally, courtesy of Jerry Garcia’s lead and interplays with Lesh and Weir, they went into the soloing and jamming which are the real magic music territory of this band. Much is made of the Dead soloists, but it became clear to me by last Thursday that bassist Phil Lesh plus those two drummers create the atmosphere that makes the Dead thing possible. The drummers were exceptionally understated, but Lesh kept bopping and thrumming away, heavily at all times, until his patterns were consistently getting the other players off. In the middle of “St. Stephen” there was a special coming together: Lesh had found a nice ambiguous but compelling set of licks; Garcia eased into a solo; Weir strummed a cross-time lick over all of it; it built; it quieted; Garcia started to play strange classical kind of lines; the drums dropped out; the audience got quiet; nothing at all could be predicted for a minute or so; then Lesh began to grope his way out with two chords and rhythms which began to regularize; audience began to jump and then to clap; guitars began to straighten out; the band came home to the cheers of the fans. Good music-making. The listener goes home without a little tune to whistle, but he hears music. As if they were finishing off some personal solos based over the last riffs heard, the fans went out of Gaelic Park without a thousand encores and without a lot of fuss on the streets outside.

It’s all very interesting, surprising, and I guess mystifying as before. All I know is that the Dead, or their fans, or the combination of both lure you into planning to return when they’re all assembled and back in town again.”

Apparently, there was some grief about bootlegs at this show. The GD Sources blog has a post that archives a 10/6/71 piece by the excellently-handled Basho Katzenjammer (Basho, the 17th Century Japanese haiku master; Katzenjammer, the German word for hangover) that gripes about an army of 200# “muscle freaks” at the direction of tour manager Sam Cutler liberating a handful of tapes from 100# weakling Johnny Lee. It’s a truly fun read. An excerpt:

“The biggest piece of shit spewing from Cutler’s mouth is about the reasons the Dead have for being so pissed off: they don’t like the quality (remember Garcia’s line in “I Got No Chance of Losin”? He says, “I’m only in it for the gold.” Yeah, music has a way of being more honest than the artist intends it to be at times…) The “quality”? Anyone who has bought a bootleg recently will know and agree that the bootleg stereo album called “Grateful Dead” is one of the best underground products yet. The tape was taken from a concert the group did at Winterland, on the coast a few months back. Yeah, Garcia fucks up a bit on “Casey Jones,” and Pigpen’s ego may have been deflated a bit by his voice coming over poorly on “Good Loving” but that was a concert. You do a concert and you stand by your performance, good or bad. That’s show business.

This effete artistic bullshit doesn’t matter anyway … When you’re out to get all the money you can out of your gigs, like the Dead seem to be (like all the groups seem to be) you might be accused of being a bit piggish; when you use strong-arm shit to insure that you get every last penny that you deserve — by making Amerikan standards — you are a Pig. Jerry Garcia, is that you?

Nobody buys that anti-bootleg shit about the artistic integrity of the artist in saying what goes out. One, you stand by your performance; two, even if you don’t want to, Jerry, somewhat, and say “all your private property is fair game for your brothers (especially when they sell records of concerts that don’t compete with coming releases) and your brother (who’s gonna continue to dig you as we live off your comets we’re gonna keep ripping you off because it is possible. As simple as that.” If you and Cutler and Stein continue your shit, though, we’ll just have to sing the song the same old way, you guys being put in the position of being the same old reactionary establishment that we’re all ripping off. It’s all around. You break your back playing gigs for ten years and suddenly success is staring you in the face. Bread: lots and lots of bread. You turn your back on your poor, ripping ’em off roots and start to tighten up. You’re in the biggest rip-off industry around, but no one cares as long as they’re having fun.

Money. That’s the whole story, isn’t it? If these were other times, in another land under a different set of rules maybe you could justifiably complain about the people who want to give your recorded performances out free because you didn’t screen them and pick out the sections you didn’t like and do them over for the cat, ’cause no one charges for their music, and because the means of production belong to the people, and they can turn out all the good sounds they can, and you have a natural right to screen all releases. But we’re here. Now. You guys are making millions — or soon will be. Money is power, especially as the concept of money is crumbling nation-wide and power freaks like Stein are cornering the market on it. The channels that the green-power the Dead bring in travel aren’t the healthiest for the generations of revolution to come. Stein is one of these hopeful images of a freak with a chance to change things positively gone sour, who uses all his power to consolidate his power; who’ll go to any extremes to insure the natural expansion of that power. Fuck him. Fuck you.”

Speak, Basho! Quaint that the beef about bootlegs back then was sound quality, rather than copyright. Stuff got figured out at some point, I think. Like when Bobby shut down the LMA, lmao.

Ed featured part of this show in the 2016 edition of his epcot 31 Days of Dead project. Here are his listening notes, which are typically spot-on (and better than than the not-quite-on-the-bus commentary from Mr. Moore): 

“Less than three weeks after Pigpen’s definitive performance of Hard To Handle at the Hollywood Palladium (8/6/71), the Grateful Dead play the final date of their summer tour in 1971 at Gaelic Park in the Bronx. It will be Pig’s last show until December and the last time the band will ever perform in their original quintet configuration of Jerry, Phil, Pig, Billy and Bobby. By September, Keith will be rehearsing with the band to assume a full-time role on the keys. Perhaps anticipating his absence, Pigpen leads the band through 6 of his songs including the rarely-played Empty Pages and the last Hard To Handle. It is also one of the last performances of Saint Stephen, until the band revived it in 1976 with a major facelift, never to be played the same way again. When you consider these historical milestones along with the departure of Mickey Hart and the closings of the legendary Fillmore East and West earlier in the year it makes you realize that this concert carried a little more weight than anyone could have ever foreseen at the time. It truly was the end of a chapter in the life of the Grateful Dead. As you listen to each song you can’t help but feel a certain degree of nostalgia.

For me, the hidden gem of the show is the outstanding version of Uncle Johns Band. Jerry’s first guitar solo is an absolute joy to hear. His notes sing with irresistible melody and happy sunshine which perfectly capture the nostalgia of those carefree early years. If you listen closely you can hear Pigpen playing the wood claves.”

Speaking of Pig, this show features the second and final performance of Empty Pages. The NYS Music blog, which has a nice write-up of this show, describes it as a McKernan original that “pairs his traditional crooning style with a slow blues jam that’s nicely peppered with fiery guitar licks from Garcia. It’s a true rarity and a shame that the band wouldn’t be able to further develop this one.”

I feel like this was a try-hard post. It might be tl;dr, idk. Here’s the true goodness…

Transport to the Charlie Miller remaster of the soundboard recording HERE.

More soon.

JF

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