#the emotional connections they couldve made there

[deathbirby]

Wonder how Byleth's life would be if Rhea told Jeralt the truth regarding Sitri and Byleth so that Jeralt doesn't jump the gun and leave with Byleth. A Byleth raised at Garreg Mach....

Rhea and Jeralt's relationship is also pretty interesting and a bit tragic, I think

I feel like Jeralt would be still be very put off by it all. Like what do you MEAN my wife was a homunculus made by using the heart of your dead mother?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN RHEA???

[shittywriterbrain]

no. polyamory would've solved a subplot of s3 and the entire main crime plot of s4. this is the truth

[abimee]

quite literally there is too much to say and pick apart about Tock in endwalker and the fact that her bullshit lore i just made up for the sillies wounded up aligning with canon concepts and therefore what went from ''silly child with accordion hears the songs in others heart'' became ''entelechy child singer of hope meets with the singer of despair at the end of the universe and gets through to her in a way that nobody else ever could"

[toastsnaffler]

okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)

[lilacstro]

astro observation part 9

well, lets go, I dont have much to rant about lmaoo, i hope you all are doing good tho!! also I love when some of you comment/reblog my posts with your comments, I LOVE LOVE IT HAHAHA

i would love to hear your thoughts/suggestions about my blogs, astrology and paid readings if you have any, send them on in asks :)

1.I read a chart for a girl here on tumblr, and she had pluto, moon and venus, ALL in first house, a literal beauty attack, but apart from this, either of these planets in first house gives you so much beauty and appeal.

2.Wherever Neptune is in your birthchart can mean multiple different things. It can mean in what matters of life you look with delusion and think with haze and might think in feels, with unconditional love (neptune is higher octave of venus). Example, Neptune in 4th house, You can be absolutely be in illusion with your family life, over prioritizing it, making decisions around it with lots of emotions and love care. Can make another post on this one maybe. Neptune in 2nd house might not think clearly about spending money, or may lend money to people easily at time, or to the ones they love.

3. Often seen people with mars in extroverted houses often dont mind lashing out in public or calling someone out on the face, no matter what kind of introversion other aspects suggest in their chart. They are likely to stand up for themselves and/or others. Gives me the vibes "speak the truth even if your voice shakes"

4.People with Neptune in 2nd house could be really good fictional writers, or writers in general, a very good talent comes in poetry and fiction.

5. Neptune/Moon in 4th house makes a very devoted mother. Mother is likely to be spiritual, and unconditionally loving with Neptune, and very motherly and warm and understanding with Moon.

6. I have often seen, people with mercury-neptune/venus aspects have a potential to sing. In hard aspects, this can usually mean this potential is untapped and exists and needs to be channelized and worked upon.

7. Your Moon sign can show how you see your mother. With Moon in Leo, your mom could be protective over you, give you tough love but you must feel safe with her in all aspects, share your thoughts and feelings and even at some point, seek her validation. Moon in Libra could be that you feel a little unfair with your mother at times, though it can also mean the love you gave felt reciprocated, sometimes you couldve felt superficial about your relationship but it must look good on papers to others. Moon in Gemini, could be either its very good when good and very bad when bad, like two extremes.

8. Chiron aspecting MC can mean that often others see you as someone who has been through something in the past/ or when you are going through something, people might be able to see it. Not exactly the contents of it, but just an idea and feeling.

9.Check your Saturn to see where you will experience nudges and "tough love" with life until you learn your lesson. For example: Saturn in 8th? Lessons around coming out of the shell, and learning how to trust/who to trust and building close connections.

10. Indicators of doing well in academia/ as a professor: Sag stellium, Sag rising, Sag/Jupiter in 9th, PoF in 9th, Academia(829) in 9th/10th, Saturn/Jupiter in 10th, Sag/Capricorn MC

11. Your second house ruler can show how you like to keep your money/spend it. People with 2nd house ruler in 8th might like to keep their money at hidden places and/or spend it on astrologers, spiritual stuff or save it for hard times etc. In 1st house it can show someone who isn't afraid to show their money, and may spend on themselves, like skincare, things for their liking while in 11th house it can show someone is very generous with their money and might like spending it on their friends.

12. IC in Aries/Scorpio could mean you saw some kind of violence with your mother or childhood growing up. It could also mean your childhood made you competitive in some ways, or it was complicated, and something that has indeed transformed you. It could also be you can very much carry resentment for your childhood even afterwards.

13. very random but, sabrina carpenter's lyrics give me such STRONG leo vibes lmao "don't you stand there staring honey, try to move your feet, if you think they're looking at you, they're looking at me" lmaaoo

14. People with Uranus retrograde in their charts, would often find themselves thinking differently, wanting different things than their family or most, and if they ever stop/try to fit in the normal despite this life would usually steer them into some direction that will force them to this.

15. People with Pluto in second house often have sexy eyes or their eyes may look intoxicated lmao. They may often use eyes to express themselves/having expressive eyes or use their eyes a lot when they are mad/wanna assert power in situations. My mom has this placement, and one of my friends too and its true for both of them lmao.

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paid readings are open <3

i love youu xoxo

[wgat-fr]

i may be insane (ignore me if i am) but its so poetic to me or maybe ironic that the vulcans, the TOUCH TELEPATH RACE who can SHARE MEMORIES, THOUGHTS, AND EMOTIONS through touch (...and potentially outside of that range, up for debate) and even SENSE certain emotions in a radius SUPPRESS them. like they are among The Ultimate Empaths, able to see and live through others' experiences to truly UNDERSTAND that individual, and be understood, understand WHY they think, feel, do as they do, and yet even with that, there was STILL violence and conflict (selfishness/individuality trumps all?). so, they turn to LOGIC, despite their EMPATHETIC NATURE (which is a whole other can of worms bc logic is also not the best to prevail/propagate and it also depends what logic u r using, which could lead to the same violent situation that Surak was trying to divert from. and, it IS logical to take into account emotions in certain contexts if you want to do the most Good which gets into philosophy what is Good, blah blah blah ANYWAYS) and yet when using their gift of telepathy, cannot help but FEEL through whoever they r melding to. its like forbidden fruit in the sense that if they let themselves feel at all or as openly as other species do (i.e. humans) it opens a pandora's box of possibilities of hurt and strife, to oneself and others, but it also allows connection and knowing and understanding, which, combined with logic, couldve made vulcans The Diplomats Ever, and peaceful asf. like i get that a utopia could never exist bc of differing opinions and theres ALWAYS bad apples but like. idk man. understanding. also "we vulcans do not feel emotions nyenyenye" is such an excuse and a false sense of security cuz like for one thing, spock is literally like... sorta discriminated against (but ig its "logical" bc vulcans have superior intellect/emotional regulation or wtvr and therefore spock is inferior but STILL, different faucets of skills and knowledge/usefulness) which is why he joins the 'fleet in the first place and not VSA. SECONDLY, they r also xenophobic which takes emotion, and in some fan (or other) interpretations, have corruption/nepotism n shit in governmental/VSA offices. thank u for listening to my mindless ramblings ☺️☺️

[cloudmancy]

sorry i know you probably get a lot of asks but I've been reading all your replies and they've made me think a lot about how the show could've gone <3. I've still really enjoyed it but I do agree that some plot beats were kinda skipped/overlooked. I think what they really needed was a couple extra episodes after the last stand exam to get more downtime investigation/relationship rolls going. Like, imagine how much more they couldve found out when they all had the opportunity to do mystery rolls rather than just 1 person at a time. (Tho I think brennan shot himself in the foot a little bit when he said the ratgrinders went completely off the grid after that 😭😭😭😭Like duuude that was the perfect opportunity for them to interact moreee...) Also one last little thing... I think part of the reason why they've pointed out that Jace had been coerced and not the rgs could be cause of that initial reveal that the ratgrinders have hated them since day one. I think none of them ever got over that and have been looking at all the new information through those lenses. Anyway I really love your art <3 this d20 discourse getting crazy

I feel like this was the issue with porter and jace as twist villains... we spend the whole season hating kipperlilly & co, of course even though we know porter is the big bad behind all of it we don't have the emotional connection to him so we go after the rat grinders in the battle instead! I also wonder what would've happened if any of the bad kids actually had to take a rage token during downtime this semester. I feel like having your character go through that would've done a good amount for empathizing with the npcs under perma rage...

[lorillee]

im always thinking about kakashi flashback:2 if im honest. its like seriously sickening to me makes me crazy insane two big things 1) how seriously miserable he is throughout the entire flashback and 2) how guy was the one who dragged him out of that hell and kakashi doesnt even know it. like it makes me so crazy insane. like guy was the only one to keep reaching out to him and he never like pushed it he never made kakashi do anything he didnt want to do but he always extended his hand whenever the opportunity arose. and like its pretty obvious to me that by the end of it asuma and kurenai have would have entirely given up on him if not for guy, and its clearly guy's initiative that gets them to go with him to entreat hiruzen to make kakashi a jonin leader instead of continuing his anbu career. like it makes me crazy insane .

because like i said earlier kakashi is just so potently miserable throughout that entire whole like 12 episode long arc i dont think he smiles like once before passing team 7 like they seriously did save him in such a profound and visible way and it was guy's unconditional love of kakashi no matter how much he was pushed away that allowed any of this to happen. like it makes me sick and ill and twisted because literally almost everybody who kakashi forms some sort of emotional attachment to dies (sakumo, obito, rin, minato, kushina) and he blames himself at least in part for the majority of those. like you can tell hes opening back up a little bit when hes hanging out with guy on the night of kuramas attack but then immediately after minato and kushina die, which theoretically couldve been prevented if he had been able to control kurama with the sharigan instead of being pushed to the sidelines, and he immediately shuts guy out again because if another person he cares about dies if another person he cares about gets killed by him either directly or indirectly he literally wont be able to take it.

he shuts guy out in a desperate attempt to not get attached to get him to stay away from kakashi who gets everyone he touches killed. but guy refuses to abandon him no matter what and you can only imagine how much this terrifies kakashi on such a fundamental level and it makes me sick in the head because after forming team 7 kakashi starts opening up his heart again and forming genuine connections willingly for the first time in so so long and it almost seems like everything will work out and then guy willingly attempts to kill himself in one last attempt to stop madara in front of kakashi who is powerless to stop it to do anything and worse yet through his own logic caused it by killing rin and he just has to sit there as a bystander once again while yet another person he loves dies as a direct result of something he blames himself for and it like . Well can we walk off a cliff? Together?

[okkos-ferrum]

Unorganized helluva boss apology tour rant cuz I think I'm going crazy

Disclaimer, cuz I know helluva fans can get defensive: A lot of this is probably my subjective opinion. I'll state my tldr as my actual objective piece of criticism, but otherwise my gripes throughout this could be based on my tastes and expectations. I genuinely don't want to take away anyone's enjoyment of this show nor hate on anyone involved, so if u just want to enjoy helluva, totally skip this :]

I think I'll actually have to give my hot take here and criticize this episode, because everyone has given way too much praise for an episode I think - in the long run - hurts the show

Im not gonna even bother organizing my thoughts I'm just gonna rant, but to start, i think the decision to start the ep right after full moon chronologically wasn't the best move. The full moon episode cliffhanger was an impactful scene and a dramatic way to start the rift between stolas and blitzo. It's where the dam of two-ish seasons finally breaks, where to me, stolas and blitzo have already said everything needed to be said, at least at the emotional maturity they currently are at. Any changes in said conversation about their relationship would require growth from both separately in order to foster a healthy discussion.

So to undercut that tension by IMMIEDTLY having blitzo somehow wiggle his way back into stolas's private property to have both double down on their stance diminishes the weight new moon's finale had. The conversation, while it does add further clarity, feels repetitive and emotionally taxing to watch, because the show has literally zero scenes of either of them reflecting on the previous night. So it's just them starting up the same fight with the same talking points we already know.

Yeah, maybe it is in character for blitzo to demand a conversation after new moon, but it shouldn't have been the path the show took. It should've allowed the story to stew in the feelings brought out in new moon, both in a narrative and meta sense by taking a break from stolatiz.

Cuz honestly I'm a bit drained of it atm. The show sells itself on the premise of blitzo being a "boss" (a hell of a bos-) and him working with imp. But all of s2 has had this obsession with stolatiz ever since the popularity of ozzie's (for good reason that episode was amazing and one of my personal favs still).

Just abt half the eps in s2 carry an emotional weight around the stolitz relationship. (where s1 has stolitz is make out sessions and the occasional threat to their life, s2 takes it up to actual life or death situations and full backstories) . This increased tension and focus draws away from the intial episodic format to become a more serialized (and imo) melodrama abt the status of the stolitz relationship. Rather than concern itself over any of the imp characters and their emotions, helluva has made all of its emotional beats and stakes throughtout the whole season relate to stoltiz in some way (or it's parallel with fizz and Ozzie in ep 7).

To return back to the ep, I also take issue with its writing of verosika. I will admit that this could be subjective, as my partner, who loves verosika and was worried abt her writing going into the ep, enjoyed how the ep integrated her. But idk, I think it is so lame that an ep like full moon, which is marketed to be abt stolitz, is fine wasting its time writing the cherubs for 90% of the episode, while can't bother making verosika a larger character in her own ep.

Like she's a SINGER, but no she's back up for STOLAS'S SONG this ep. And it's not stolas's hasn't had the chance to sing love ballads before, he's got plenty. But no, the host of the party can't even be a duet to stolas, she's gotta be back up. Like it couldve been a way stronger connection between these two if they sang a duet, rather than the show AGAIN prioritizing verbalizing stolas's emotions again.

We get a full flashback to blitzo's relationship with both fizz and stolas, but nothing on his other significant relationship??? Just a line or two of how it went down and that's it??

Side tangent: It gets on my nerves how so many people are realizing now that verosika is not a bad person. Like it's clear from even in her intro ep in s1 ep 3 she's angry rightfully for how blitzo screwed her over. But now that she actually is being nice and forgiving to stolas and blitzo respectively, now she has earned the fandom's respect??? Like the amt of comments of "Oh wow, verosika isn't a villain, she's an anatognist" drives me insane

Like to me, this ep should've stepped away from stolas directly, and focus on blitzo and verosika. Have blitzo go back to ignoring his feelings by jumping back head first into business, now with the asmodeous crystal. Then bump into verosika somehow. However it may happen, verosika and blitzo, either angrily or calmly, reflect on their own past relationship at the end, which might have blitzo making a realization of how he is repeating his past mistakes. Use the episodic format to slowly allow blitzo to mature so the next time he meets stolas, he won't just double down like he did in the beginning of the ep.

I think, personally, the decision to have verosika host the anti blitzo party diminishes her as a character. It chooses to again define her by how blitzo hurt her, rather than touching on the other underdeveloped parts of her character. She has shown to be very petty yes, but to go through all this effort seems too much, since she is a pop star and should have better things to do.

Maybe explore how she, a succubus, who is meant to have primarily sexual relationships, goes abt on her day to day as a celebrity who went to rehab. Or her relationship with maybe knowing barbie. Or the other ways to explore the set ups for her in ep 3. But no, she plays second fiddle to her second focus ep for the stoltiz drama. But yeah sure, let's have full moon be abt the cherubs.

On a final and likely my most pettiest point, this ep made me cringe a lot. I'm sorry, this is very subjective of me, but I need to say it. So much of this ep felt like fanfic. Always hammering in how "he's a prince and you're an imp" kind of deal. Stolas getting overly drunk after taking a swig of one drink to have blitzo handle him being drunk. The million puppy dog eyes by blitzo, like it felt too pitying. The rushed pacing felt like a result of this indulgent kind of writing, where it priotizes creating the cute shipping scenes before thinking about the actual plot and its effect later on. Again, just my taste tho

Alright I think I ranted enough but ...

Tl;dr: Apology tour messes up the pacing and focus of the show by continously centering itself around the stolitz drama rather than allowing time to reflect by themselves

[gizkasparadise]

final leg of a journey to love thoughts!! (eps 35-40). this got so gd long so under a cut it goes. spoilers, of course:

PLOT STUFF/PACING

pacing for the plot definitely got shredded in the last chunk, which is a damn shame because otherwise i've been finding the pacing pretty much perfect. eps 35-37 in particular felt like they could have been like a 10 episode arc. ep 38, which mostly dealt with wu palace politics, should have been cut or streamlined imo and more time given to the characters we've actually been riding along with the whole story. by the time we get back to the pregnant empress, prince danyang, the first prince whose name i dont even remember, and the prime minister, i do not care about any of them and i think this subplot was simply just trying to fit too much shit into one bag

that said, this show still let the emotional moments hit and breathe and linger. i love the grief for the fallen liudao comrades as we go, as well as the less heavy but still emotionally important moments like yang ying and tongguan bonding over their upbringing. and we got a wedding /;3;/!!! for this show, the relationships and characters matter more than the storyline so im not mad about anything at all

side note: it's so gd millennial to have a story about a bunch of 30 something year olds who want to fake their deaths and retire into obscurity but instead they go and die for a boss they hate

CHARACTER STUFF

this show consistently brought a lot of depth to its side characters (and side side characters!!). i said it in an earlier post, but it bears repeating that even someone like deng hui i didnt expect anything from, but he got such good development and writing that he became a stealth fave. his dying words essentially being "dude, quit fucking around" ? iconic.

i didnt like tongguan as much as everyone else, so im pretty meh about everything regarding him. the attempt to force-wed ruyi was tonally really weird and didnt make sense (i assume there was some cuts made surrounding it). but LOL at him reusing all the outfits and decor immediately for his wedding to yang ying. baby duke, you tacky motherfucker. i ultimately think yang ying deserves better than him, but the good thing is that she knows this, so she'll be able to hold her own and then some entering into this partnership

shisan really was the heart in a lot of ways--the mom to yuanzhou's dad for the liudao. i was not expecting him to break my heart the way he did, but the fact that he held both qian zhao and sun lang as they died and then tried his best to remove yuan lu from harm and saved chu yue and was just very much a nurturer all the way through got me. his character couldve been cheap comic relief but the writing + performance really elevated him into one of the (imo) most memorable wuxia characters. his line wondering who would get to behead his beautiful skull!!! and how his mantra was always that he was going to drink the best wine, see the most beautiful women, and make the best of friends and he dies having lost the ability to see and having just had wine in memory of qian zhao, yuan lu, and sun lang. like. shut up!!

ruyi and yuanzhou were both so great and they're gonna be the drama OTP to beat forever. i loved the gender reversals, that they both were so respectful of each other, and that they also felt very mature in how they handled things and communicated. they were really interesting characters both together and apart and that's always a win-win. they had a schroedinger's ending where it's not super clear if they're alive or dead (i interpreted it as the latter), but what's kind of beautiful is that either option is satisfying to me. if they both died, they're reunited and with their comrades and the story is truly about the journey and the meaningful short connections we have. if they both survived, it's a bookend with the beginning where they each faked their deaths to escape. A+

COSTUMING

i gotta just separately mention the costuming for this show because it was 15/10. the textures, shisan's accessories, the way red became integrated with yuanzhou's wardrobe and blue with ruyi's. the details on the liudao name amulets!! SO GOOD. i love when characters' clothes tell a story on their own

overall i just really loved this drama it is probably my favorite wuxia ive seen so far! it's gonna be in my brain for awhile lol feel free to send fic prompts if you've made it this far :'D

[wibble-wobbegong]

THE SHED SCENE. AGAIN.

1 am i drank two monsters and the passion is peaking so im talking about it again but im gonna try and be So Direct.

NUMBER ONE. drawing lines

we ALL know mike was drawing a line between will and the rest of his friends in this scene.

he literally says that it’s not the same without will. Blatantly. so WHY is it not the same without will? what has he also DIRECTLY TOLD US about will that makes him different? from everybody else????

BEING FRIENDS WITH HIM IS THE BEST THING HE’S EVER FUCKING DONE!!!!!! like he literally says Right Here that will is above everything else in his life. will isnt just his best friend, he isnt just his favorite person, he’s the beat thing in mike’s ENTIRE life. why would he say that and make a clear differentiation if there wasnt any awareness going on

OH BUT WIBBLE YOU SAY. WIBBLE WHAT IF HE IS SIMPLY SAYING IT WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF IT ALL???? ok well let’s look at his behavior when will is uncomfortable Before the shed scene

and After

he just. went from being the most insane possessive “nobody is allowed near him if he’s uncomfortable” guy ever to pressuring him to do things he doesnt want to do and making him go away. For Fun. there was Zero significant emotional discovery that would have been cause for such a drastic comparison between his behavior in that moment versus the rest of the season. even before will was in danger he was still keeping him close by

mike’s behavior changes DRASTICALLY. there was an event that triggered that change. you could argue it was the snowball, but we also have a scene where we witness him Drawing The Line between will and everyone else

BUT WIBBLE, HE COULDVE JUST BEEN WING MANNING. THE TWO EVENTS ARENT NECESSARILY CONNECTED BECAUSE MIKE WAS JUST BEING HONEST AND TRYING TO HELP WILL!! HE-

liar?

liar.

LIAR.

LIAR!!!!!

we know what mike was saying in the shed is true, but he still has the incredibly prominent lighting that indicates mike is lying or hiding something. everything mike says here is provably true through parallels to crazy together and a bunch of other shit, so what is he hiding?? what could he Possibly be hiding here when we know he’s being honest about what he’s saying?

well, you know where else mike was being honest?

but he STILL has that lighting. because he isn’t being actually honest with will here. he’s downplaying the severity of his feelings A Lot. he’s hiding behind the guise of friendship in both scenes when his feelings run much, much deeper than what he’s showing.

but why would mike be downplaying his feelings in the shed scene if he’s unaware?? he WOULDNT. because he is AWARE. and it guides all his behavior from the snowball to literally his Whole Fucking Arc in s3 which is about Actively pushing will away and trying to fix himself and his feelings by growing up and “learning” to like girls. that arc didnt come out of nowhere. there was a trigger to those incredibly Conscious actions. mike wasnt blind to what he was doing when he made fun of will and projected his own inability to like girls onto him. he has a consciousness that does in fact guide his behavior when doing things Blatantly out of true character for him

pacing around my cage falling over clawing the walls

[finnitesimal]

Ordem Paranormal Quarantena fucking knocked it out of the park it was insane Im grappling with so much I'm so insanely tired

There was a funny bit I was thinking of around the whole second bit where I was going Carol you hallmark protagonist fuck

Because first of all her name. that was the main part it's on the same level as Noel and Nick and Holly but there were also certain aspects of her character that in my delirious mind reminded me of the hypocrisy and drama of the typical independent business lady in a christmas movie as well as the I-can-do-no-wrong mindset of a romantic fantasy shoujo romance protagonist

And I thought. Man. There was a very clear path this story couldve taken with these characters and setting if it were not roleplay.

(note: not talking about the ccs or the actual characters but the Tropes the characters fall into and Could've been in generic science fiction horror)

A plucky new scientist with dreams to make a difference in an evil monster-ridden world and prove her skills despite being underestimated and looked down on by her friends and colleagues, and her direct senior with whom she has a negative relationship with due to his demonstrated lack of practical skill but mysterious higher connections to the board and therefore is ranked higher while she falls behind. She has moments of butting heads with him before the disaster breaks out in the facility and she has to struggle to stay alive and hidden until she's rescued by that same suddenly impressive senior with whom there's multiple tight spaces to be stuck with and convenient makeovers and sudden cold they have to share body warmth for. It's overWhelmingly easy to guess the plot

The plot in which None of the gang are mentioned. Because in this hypothetical B-list horror romance, they don't exist as people, but plot devices and tropes

They're there to provide funny moments and emotional weight as well as conflict to the overdone plot.

You have Luis, tank, everyman strongman with a soft heart and unclear but dangerous living conditions (poor). Probably the backup boyfriend in case the thing with Mikael doesn't work out, ends up sacrificing his life to save her due to some completely preventable situation cause she was too stubborn to listen, and gets a future project (maybe even a baby) named after him.

You have Jeffrey, funnyman, scapegoat, coward with zero friends and terrible priorities, multiple jobs (poor). Kind of useless, constantly infuriating and taking up space and meddling with things he doesn't know Anything about when she could've made a solution if he'd handed it over and dies to the zombies for the crime of irritating our protag.

Diego, hippie allegory, lives out of his backpack he literally calls his home, his life (poor) and has herbs (weedhead) that she'd try to be Fixing and eventually succeed in 'reforming' and sending him back to school due to her natural disposition in helping those in need.

You have Lucie, finally another girl, unfortunately in both horror and tropey romance, we Hate any other woman besides our all-powerful and beloved protagonist, so she's the nerd archetype but not the cute, efficient way our protag is nerdy but in the weirdo unnecessarily jargon-filled and Unappealing (unattractive) way. She dies the same way in the movie.

Benito was Made to be hated. It's the sly evil smirk and sunglasses and a beanie with the unprofessional labcoat and talking about things he doesn't understand like he does and taking her accomplishments and mocking her life as a scientist fighting to save the world and how he always seems to be looking down at her and definitely wouldve been the one to hide an infection and endanger the group he's the character whose death you're Meant to starting cheering for when he's dragged kicking and screaming onto the rusty laden, jagged roof and played with and pounced on till his insides squeeze out of him like toothpaste

Mattias was there so our protagonist could have her badass "I'm not like you I won't take a life because you're a coward" speech before he turns and nearly gets the group

Emi and Anderson were there so we could have a real man-to-man fatherly conversation about what it means to protect the ones you love and to pass on the torch as 'Leader' before he succumbs to the virus and begs to die before he hurts his girl, and so they could have wholesome pseudo-parenthood with a confused but reasonable child who absolutely understands that they're doing the right thing because they're the good guys and calls Carol mom when she's in danger near the end

It could've been a zombie survival plot about two arguably well-off individuals facing the consequences of a project they still believe could change the world and their tag-along group of meatshields to throw at the problem until their glorious melancholy escape where they're hailed as heroes for containing and eventually completing their groundbreaking research

and a horrific experience for a group of people who just wanted to make an easy few bucks till the next paycheck. They could've split those 50 dolalrs and jumped each other in the parking lot they didn't need to go through all that

Carol is driven, she's serious, she's ambitious and believes in the good that her research (the team's research) will bring and she's surrounded by people who don't understand that they're the good guys and are trying to find fault in her So she's willing to make sacrifices so she's willing to take it upon herself to decide who the team needs more she doesn't care if she dies as long as the world knows she saved it she needs to hear anything and everything people say in case it's about her or something she might care about it she's got braided hair and easily breakable glasses

Mikael is keeping things to himself to preserve his level of control over the situation because who knows what these guys are really like and he Saved them by telling them everything they need to know and they repay him by chopping his arm off? they're ungrateful and unserious So he kept himself safe while they had numbers and clues on their side They Managed Didn't They? Aren't they alive right now? they don't understand how important it is that he lives no one understands how important it is that Nidere lives he's got stylish curly hair and a fitted turtleneck

They both have a need to be heroes in a sense, to matter in the grand scheme of things they need to be at the forefront they need to be the ones who saved Everyone. Everybody is Only Alive because of THEM.

It's just really fascinating to me how. A different perspective of things kind of switches their roles as protagonists and cannon fodder

[burnt-tortellini]

Phillip Graves is cursed forever to sleep on a twin sized mattress (feat. soap)

aka line by line breakdown of twin size mattress by the front bottoms and how it relates to gravesoap because i made a joke about it on tiktok and i cant sleep

“this is for the lions living in the wiry broke down frames//of my friends bodies”

a key part of being in a non private military is that the people you’re surrounded with are literally stripped down to being a fighter and to their aggression and how good they are at killing people. having a genuine connection with anyone is hard when basic/SAS training guts you of most of your personality when youre on the job. the 141 in general are good examples of people who slip through the cracks but other examples of people who arent like that that theyre around is people who are part of pmcs like the shadow company who dont have SAS training exactly.

“when the flood water comes it aint gonna be clear//its gonna look like mud//but i will help you swim i will help you swim//im gonna help you swim”

one of the reasons i hc soap putting up with graves’ toxic behaviour is because he sees his past self in him. he sees the internalised homophobia and the self hatred and he wants to help because he knows from experience exactly whats coming, what itll look like and what he wished he had when he was going through it.

“this is for the snakes and the people they bite//for the friends ive made for the sleepless nights//for the warning signs ive completely ignored”

soaps aware hes getting hurt, hes aware that the most graves will let them be seen as is really close friends but hes also aware of the night hes spent lying awake wondering why he went back to graves’ room knowing hes wake up in his anyway. hes seen the warning signs and they are yet to stop him

“its no big surprise you turned out this way//when they closed thier eyes and prayed you would change//and they cut your hair and sent you away”

soap understands why graves is like this, he might not have grown up in southern America but he’s no stranger to the Christian culture surrounding being queer. the military is often seen as an escape from society or the people in your community, they might not have sent him away as such but they definitely pushed him in that direction

“you stopped by my house the night you escaped//with tears in my eyes i begged you to stay//you said ‘hey man, i love you, but no fucking way!’”

while graves’ betrayal was a complete shock to soap i think they both fantasise about what couldve happened if graves told soap beforehand. i personally think that if canon compliant graves ever did confess it was the night before he betrayed them because he knew it would be the last time

“im sure that we could find something for you to do on stage//maybe shake a tambourine or when i sing, you sing harmonies”

in an AU where soap finds out about the betrayal before it happens i think he would try and convince graves to stay and try to carve out a place for him in the 141 so he could switch sides despite them both knowing its not feasible

“it should’ve felt good but i can hear the jaws theme song//on repeat in that back of my mind”

in the lead up to the betrayal i think soap realised something was wrong, graves was making the most of their time together and trying to appreciate what they had while they had it but soap could sense something was wrong even though graves kept denying it

“make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face//there are lessons to be learned//consequences for all the stupid things i say”

graves knows that soaps gonna be pissed, he knows hes ruined it and worst of all he knows that the anger soap shows him will he more emotion than graves ever gave him back

“and it is not big surprise you turned out this way//the spark in your eyes, the look on your face//i will not be blamed”

whatever soap thought he saw in graves is gone the second he betrays them. and then it hits him that this was always what was going to happen, this was always the plan and it kill him because he had to convince everyone (cough ghost cough) that they could trust him and he was wrong. thats gonna leave a stain on his reputation

“i wanna contribute to the chaos//i dont wanna watch and then complain//cause i am through with finding blame//that is a decision that i have made”

soap has a bit of a moment after the betrayal where he decides he either wants to never so much look at a man again or just become THE worst person ever when it comes to dating

“she hopes im cursed forever//to sleep on a twin-sized mattress//in somebody’s attic or basement my whole life//never graduating up in size to add another//and my nightmares will have nightmares every night”

soap is PRAYINGG for thjs mans downfall

[aemiron-main]

A Black-Blooded Brenner??

So, I was going through some of the 8flix stuff i’d rb’d during scriptgate.

And as im sure most of you know, I’m a scriptgate truthers. Those scripts were real, theyre wayyy too identical to confirmed scripts & also have WAYYY to many niche details that connect to stuff like edward & TFS that isn’t stuff that Nick couldve pulled out of his ass/made up.

And so, I stopped in my tracks when I came across this 8flix post:

I’d totally forgotten Nick mentioning a “black-blooded Brenner”- and now, I’m staring at TFS and Brenner Sr’s weird blood/changed blood as a result of his time in Dimension X, and I’m also staring at all of TFS Brenner’s weird connections to the shadow & things like patty holding the drawing of the MF directly in front of his face, TFS Henry’s “shadow voice” sounding a lot like TFS Brenner’s angry voice, TFS Brenner being positioned right under the MF visuals all the time, TFS Brenner’s constant fixation on getting Henry to connect with the MF rather than fight it, etc.

And so, this black blood thing brings up three key points:

A.) The Brenner that we see in-show/that Nick was referring to might be Brenner Sr rather than Brenner Jr, (especially with all of the weird “Brenner not aging in TFS” stuff & so Brenner Sr being “too old” to be the Brenner we see in-show doesn’t apply), because Brenner Sr has the weird changed Dimension X blood- which might be black as a result of shadow particles or something.

Which makes me also wonder about what I’ve talked about re: the idea that Brenner Sr never actually came back at all, and instead, a “””Demogorgon”””/Doppelganger shapeshifted to look like Brenner Sr took his place- and on that note, I would love to know what colour the upright S1 “””Demogorgon’s””” blood is considering what I’ve talked about re: that Demogorgon vs DND Doppelganger stuff & the idea of the “Demogorgon” being a shapeshifter, necause I wonder if it has black blood. Just like 8flix Nick believed Brenner did.

B.) The idea of shadow particles in the blood, and the idea that Brenner (some version of him at least) is flayed/connected to the shadow, especially considering a draft I’m working on re: the Flayed being inspired by Invasion of the Body Snatchers vs in-show Brenner’s calmness/relative lack of emotion compared to TFS Brenner, the same way that people who’ve been body snatched also become less emotional.

Also, as a fun little sidenote, orcs in LOTR etc also have black blood- which has me staring at all of Brenner’s Demogorgo/creature references.

[darcyolsson]

What's the ultimate ranking of all parabatai pairs in your intellectual tmi-spiral opinion

thanks for acknowledging the fact that tmi is making me a bit crazy 💛 without further ado, parabatai pairs from worst to best at being parabatai:

luke & valentine - they get some points for participating in a Parabatai Love Triangle (tm) which we all know by now is an essential part of all parabatai pairs but i think it's literally mentioned once that they were parabatai and then it's never brought up again. clearly this was the parabatai equivalent of an embarassing teenage relationship. 1.5/10

lucie & cordelia - they at least take the whole parabatai connected-souls things quite seriously but they forgot the most important part and thats that you need to actually be friends. 3/10

jace & alec - these two however absolutely did not take it seriously enough lmfaoooooo there's real love between them but they hate communicating, talking and speaking to each other SOOOO MUCH. however i kind of have to respect it? sometimes a joint parabatai slay is that they both dont actually give a fuck ab being parabatai. they were kind of real for that. 5/10

james & matthew - i acknowledge that they tried but they werent very good at it were they. i think they kind of suffer from the same thing as lucie & cordelia in the sense that they interact too little to come off as besties even though they both want to be besties. however they did have quite a few moments of unwavering homoerotic loyalty and i do love that. didnt live up to their potential though. 5.5/10

robert & michael - yeah they ended on bad terms but at least they gave us the drama and the completely insane intensity i'm LOOKING for!!!! like i said earlier, almost 20 years after his death michael was still the person robert loved the most in the entire world and michael literally came back from the dead to attend roberts funeral. perhaps robert failed to notice michael dying but thats iconic in and of itself imo do you know how deep you have to bury your emotions to not notice your parabatai's death?????? complete emotional rollercoaster i love it. 7/10 no wonder jace & alec are Like That

simon & clary - they rlly just became parabatai because they could. overhated and underrated parabatai duo i think they lack a certain je ne sais quoi that other pairs do have but i'm obsessed w their friendship so i love them anyway<3 have we considered that more ppl should just become parabatai with their besties simply because they can? besides at this rate simon will be a werewolf or something in 3 months' time anyway so we can't ever blame them for jumping on the opportunity! 7.5/10

jonathan shadowhunter & david the silent - literally invented the parabatai bond. bestie goals. couldve made it more feminist and included a woman though 🙄 8/10

emma & julian - do i even need to explain. they burned down a church. objectively awful at the whole parabatai deal though but in such an iconic life-changing culturally historically and aesthetically significant way that i dont even care. 9/10

will & jem - our souls are knit. we are one person, james. 10000000000000/10

[henrysglock]

Ohhh my god so re: what i remember you for as a writer theres SOSOSO much to choose from, but I have to go with Ptolemaea!!!!!

And even though there’s SO many iconic scenes/lines in Ptolemaea that stuck wirh me/that I remember you by, the shower scene from Ptolemaea is the one I’m going to talk about right now because it stuck with me and i was flashbanged by it again last night when rereading it HWBDBFN

Like, this part specifically:

“That didn’t mean it was any less appreciated, though, even as the blisters on his ankles burned with it. Hot water meant that the dirt, grime, and blood melted off him with minimal effort. Even so, he took a certain amount of comfort in scrubbing himself pink and toweling off roughly, as though he could peel the past three years off his body the way a spider might shed its carapace. To grow.”

First of all, the line about how the water is making the blisters on his ankles burn is so strong/physical/it’s like I can feel it.

And it’s also such a fantastic line/fantastic use of word choice when it comes to the fact that Ptolemaea being a “Henry got out of the lab early” AU and therefore also a “Henry didnt get sent to Dimension x” AU versus the use of the word “burned” here, especially in the context of Henry trying to scrub off the lab/leave the lab behind versus the way that Henry physically leaves the lab behind in canon being getting sent to Dimension X & getting burned there.

It just works so well to give this subtle vibe/subtle reminded of “what couldve been” and how even though what Henry’s going through right now sucks (ie all of the Ptolemaea horrors, and even just the water from a nice shower hurts his blisters), it could’ve been so much worse/it really nails that “full of horrors but also full of Hope” vibe that Ptolemaea has.

And second of all, specifically looking at this part:

“Even so, he took a certain amount of comfort in scrubbing himself pink and toweling off roughly, as though he could peel the past three years off his body the way a spider might shed its carapace. To grow.”

I cant even describe how much I love this part. There’s so many little layers to the comparison between Henry in the shower vs a spider shedding its carapace, snd how its not just “oh yeah yk hes got the same vibes as a spider shedding its carapace because hes trying to start anew” but instead the comparison *also* so Physical and the mental/emotional change/struggle is convey so Physically and how it’s specifically connected to the way that Henry scrubs himself pink, and the way that this line about how Henry scrubs himself pink evokes the visual of new skin being pink and “sore”/sensitive because it’s new, much like the new flesh under an old carapace.

And then how Henry towels himself off roughly vs that also working so perfectly to really convey that feeling of shedding a carapace in a very very physical way and the Movements of it and im just!!! The WORD CHOICES here are so perfect to convey a really visceral/physical feeling, like with the use of the word “peeling” and with how that use of the word” peeling” is where it all then connects to the mental aspect of it/the bridge between physical vs mental re: henry trying to peel the last three years off of his body (especially with the imagery re: peeling skin off/peeling years off vs all of the mental/supernatural “flaying” in ST vs the peeling skin imagery tying to the idea of literal flaying in the sense of flaying skin off).

And the “last three years” thing always gets me, it’s not only such a good reminder of how long he spent in the lab/how many years he’s lost, But then also, specifically in the context of shedding a carapace/molting, the implication that Henry hasn’t “molted” in three years/that this carapace that’s stuck to him is three years old/literally made up of the past three years really hits me every time re: the fact that spiders shed their carapaces/molt wayy more often than that so he hasnt been Allowed to molt & also the fact that some types of spiders stop molting entirety once they reach maturity (this is the case for black widows)/other types just molt less frequently (once a year) when they reach maturity vs the last three years in the lab being what makes up Henry’s “carapace” & Henry not having “molted” at all in the lab/at all in the last 3 years vs the way that Henry was forced to grow up quickly in the lab but how it Also stunted him & how not molting anymore is a sign of “maturity” /adulthood in spiders.

And especially with all of that/the idea of being forced to grow up quickly but also having your growth stunted as a result vs using the imagery of shedding a three year old carapace to convey that & the way that having a built-up old caparace/unshedded layers would make him seem “bigger”/more grown” when in reality, it’s a sign of *not* having grown/not being allowed to shed it is *stunting* his ability to grow/it’s like he was being forced to “grow” by not shedding (which then also ties SO PERFECTLY into Henry’s canon regen healing & the way that there’s all of this tumor imagery associated with it/unwanted growths) and that weighing up down/the extra “weight”/“size”/“growth” on him re: not “shedding his skin” & how his/a spider’s limbs aren’t going to grow properly unless they shed their skin so then there’s the whole visual of him not growing in a typical Growth way/his metaphorical limbs not getting longer but instead just “growing” by having all of these extra layers/“skin” that hes now trapped in/cant shed to properly grow vs the idea of Brenner wanting him to be like a child and like an adult simultaneously (ie being a Freak & Liking the fact that Henry’s a child vs also stealing his childhood/putting him in a lab/making him behave Like An Adult/making him grow up quickly).

Especially with black widows no longer molting once they reach sexual maturity vs the idea of Henry not being *allowed* to molt/stopped early from molting/being forced to reach that maturity early (smash cut to the SA imagery in the lab) when he hasnt Actually reached it physically.

And then that all also ties so well into the idea of being a Child Forced To Behave Like An Adult/Forced Into Adult Activities rather than Actually Becoming An Adult.

I just!! The line about a spider shedding its carapace as a way of describing Henry’s attempts to leave the lab behind is literally such a perfect line, like there’s something so physical and visceral about it, not only is it such a perfect description of the situation, but the spider aspect then ties so perfectly into Henry’s character specifically.

Especially with the next context TFS Henry & the visual of those spider legs bursting out of his back during the attic scene with Virginia & how that’s Also very Physical in a similar way to this scene (and yet again, Ptolemaea ages like a fine wine.)

And then also, specifically looking at the “To grow,” line, this line specifically always feels like so perfectly like Henry reassuring himself/tears in my eyes over little 15 year old henry “spider guy” creel reminding himself of how spiders grow and how it’s okay even though it hurts, because it just means he’s in Spider Mode and Spider Coded and Based and Spiderpilled HWHDBDDNHEHD like he’s reminding himself that not only do spiders shed their carapaces, but they do so in order to grow/it’s Necessary in order for them to grow. Like it almost feels like the way a parent would try and get a child to do something (ie if a kid loved superheroes, the whole “superman would clean his room 🤨🤨🤨😌😌😌😌” vibe/“a spider would go and clean himself in the shower because spiders need to shed their skin in order to grow-“) but it’s coming from Henry and directed at Himself, which then emphasizes how lonely he is/the lack of parents/Virginia being dead & Victor being locked up & Henry having to parent himself (but then also the other side of the coin and the lowkey Freedom of Henry getting to parent himself in the context of Brenner/no longer being forcibly “parented” by Brenner).

And it works so perfectly with the “grow together” stuff from the VR (yet AGAIN, Ptolemaea ages like a fine wine) vs what I said earlier re: Brenner “forcing” him to grow by making him keep all those unshed layers/giving the illusion of growth when in reality in order to Actually grow, he’d need to shed those layers vs the way that VR Henry is described as “eager to please” etc vs the idea of him not properly growing/not shedding his carapace in order to please Brenner…

Like I just can’t express enough how much I love that part- it that makes me feel like I’m back to when I was first getting interested in Henry as a character (in a very very good way) and is just this instant, perfectly encapsulated reminder of what I love about his whole story/the vibe of it.

Especially with this being Henry’s POV vs the way that not only is this whole part such a perfectly, artistic, extremely thought-out line on behalf of the writer, but it’s also such a perfect insight into Henry’s character & his spider nerdiness & what I said earlier re: spiders not molting anymore being a sign of them reaching adulthood vs when he does finally “shed his carapace”/scrub himself in the shower, he’s comparing it to a spider molting/his “childish” little spider nerd vibes are coming back, he’s both growing and “regressing” because he’s growing into the Child/15 year old that he Is rather than being a child forced to behave like an adult- especially then with adult teacher Henry’s continued love of spiders/the way that “childish” interest remains even when he Is an actual adult.

Anyway! Ptolemaea my beloved….. <333333

it's why he's so small in canon actually. bro hasn't molted in years we can all give him a break for being the world's Tiniest boy.

anyway alkdjflsd WOW

When I was writing that part the biggest thing in my mind was a combination of not molting/being held back/being trapped under the layers of what he had to do to survive but specifically in the way of protective layers being added with each trauma/him being forced to grow this thick outer shell layer by layer specifically to defend against what was being done to him/retain his sanity and dignity. Which speaks to a degree of removal from what was done to him, in my mind, this kind of

"It happened to me, and I'm self-aware enough to acknowledge that...but it was done to an outer layer that I can shed, so is it really something I have to live with? Or is it something i can just put away somewhere out of sight and never actually deal with in a healthy, meaningful way?"

and so while he's peeling the carapace that's stunting him, it's like...every light has its shadow. He's able to grow into a normal boy, now, and even though it's sore and tender all over at the moment, it's a good thing. But is the way he's doing it healthy? Is he discarding his carapace without addressing and accepting/healing the ways its weight and prolonged presence warped him?

Or is he hobbling around on eight misshapen legs like

"Lalalala...It doesn't exist because I can walk on these legs. They're a little weirdly shaped, but I can hide them well enough if I make a home in the neatly-trimmed Kentucky bluegrass lawns of suburban America. Could a damaged spider walk around as well as I do? I'm so normal and also healthy. Being prevented from molting definitely had no lingering effects on my well-being. Haha, no there's no reason why I refuse to go out on the pavement and show you guys my totally normal legs. I just don't want to. No other reason. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm a normal spider :) Anyway, look at my web. Could a broken spider make a web this nice? Didn't think so. I'm totally normal and there's NOTHING in my past that I need to heal from."

Something something "I'm not a freak. I'm normal. I'm Henry Creel."

There's also the more surface aspect of the Will-Henry Mindflayer-Brenner "I felt it everywhere/I still feel him" and Henry thinking that if he scrubs hard enough, he can rid himself of the lingering memories, the same way Will thought that if he could just keep running, he could escape the Mindflayer/the lingering trauma of what happened to him in the UD/the slug stuff.

They're both running away from looming, lingering CSA trauma, just in different ways. Will can run all he wants, but the Mindflayer is going to catch him anyway. His trauma will always catch up to him. Henry can scrub all he wants, he can peel off that outer shell and pretend like he's getting rid of everything that happened to him, but the damage was mental. It's something that's inevitably going to catch up with him until he can't ignore it anymore.

That's also where the burning came from in my mind: Will being rid of the Mindflayer by burning, but him still being able to feel it/it coming back later vs Henry trying to rid himself of his history with Brenner via scrubbing himself raw with burning water because he's still able to feel that history physically/that history will come back to haunt him later much like the Mindflayer haunts Will.

—————

Tell me what fic or line of writing you remember me by