#the doctor five card draw

[inscrutable-shadow]

Augusnippets Day 30 - Path of Whumperless Whump - Self Harm

obvious tw for self harm. the doc talks about their coping mechanism.

The scalpel is easy.

Throughout my medical training, I have become intimately familiar with the scalpel and its application to human flesh. I know which sizes to use where, how to move my hands to part skin and muscle and fat to access what I need within. But even before that, the scalpel was my friend.

My thighs are littered with old scars, in perfect, neat rows. All precisely avoiding places which would cause the most damage, just deep enough to bleed. The pain is familiar. It centers me, anchors me to reality. I was very young when I began this, and I imagine I will continue until I am old.

Today, my grant presentation went poorly. Outwardly I appear calm, but as usual, inside is a storm of rage and frustration. Doctor Pryor has threatened me with hospitalization if I injure someone else this month. So, I return to the knife.

When I cut, I do not feel the pressure of countless eyes on me, hoping to see me rise or fall. The pulse beneath my skin is sated by the spilling of my own blood. The boiling pot of emotion within me calms to a simmer. There is no one to berate me, or to hold me to an impossible standard, or to frustrate me with their idiocy.

It is just me, and the knife.

doc taglist: @quietly-by-myself, @demondamage, @i-eat-worlds, @atomiccorvid (be careful lovelies)

[inscrutable-shadow]

Uh so I made a character bingo if anyone wants to try it (:

[victorianbatman]

ATLA/LOK incorrect quotes

F, M & GN reader | every scenario without the readers gender being specified is Gender Neutral.

Bolin, on the phone with Mako: Mako, I need you to come pick me up.

Mako: Why?

Bolin: Y/n is busy passive-aggressively doing the dishes they asked me to do 6 hours ago.

Bolin: This house is not safe anymore.

-

Mako: Hey, whats for dinner?

Bolin: I cant tell you, its a soup-rise.

Mako: Is it soup?

Y/n: We soup-ose is could be.

Mako: Enough with the soup puns you two.

Bolin: Aww, you never soup-port our jokes.

[Five minutes later]

Mako: It was fucking tacos.

-

Mako: The stars look really pretty tonight.

Y/n: Yeah, they do.

Mako: You know who else looks pretty tonight?

Y/n: Asami.

Mako, at the same time: Korra.

Y/n: What?

Mako: What?

-

Toph: Do you do anything other than whine like a little bitch?

Y/n: Sometimes I whine like a BIG bitch.

-

Mako, not looking up from his book: What did she(Kuvira) do now?

Y/n: SHE SMILED!

Mako: At you?

Y/n: No, at her dumb friends, but she looks like an angel.

Mako: Go away, Y/n.

Y/n: Shut up, I watched you pine after Korra while in a relationship with Asami.

Mako: Go on.

-

Korra: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Lin: That’s not how you make cookies.

Y/n: FLOOR IT!

Bolin: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?

Lin: yOURE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!!

Korra: IM GONNA HARVEST THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!!

Y/n&Bolin: DO IT!

Lin: NO-

-

Korra: I’m small, but knowing.

Tall!Y/n: You dont be knowing what the top of a shelf looks like though.

Korra: …

Tall!Y/n: …

Korra: Bitch.

-

Bolin and Mako watching Y/n from a distance chase a squirrel.

Bolin: Thats the person I see myself married to in the future.

Bolin: Thoughts?

Mako: …

Bolin: …

Mako: ..and prayers, bro.

-

Y/n: My autistic friend(book 1 zuko) is my favourite person on the planet. I asked if he would still be friends with me if I got a mullet and without looking up he said “we are not friends” like ok bestie.

-

Korra: Theres only one thing worse than losing.

[Tips over paper saying ‘losing Y/n’]

Y/n: Me.

Korra: No-

-

Y/n: Are you sure you’re ok?

Zuko, crying: Yeah, it’s just these onions, man.

Y/n: …

Zuko: …

Y/n: Those are potatoes.

-

[Asami, puts on chapstick]

Y/n: What flavour is that?

Asami: oh its [chapstick flavour].

Y/n: Lemme taste.

Asami: Sure.

[hands chapstick]

Y/n, kisses Asami

Y/n: Shit it does actually taste like [Chapstick flavour].

[Asami blushing like crazy]

-

Y/n: Aang, why do good people die young?

Aang: When you are in a garden full of flowers, which one do you pick?

Y/n: The ugly ones.

Aang: Exactly- wait wait what, why?

Y/n: Because ugly bitches dont belong in my garden.

-

Toph: Hi, im your doctor today, I’ll be drawing your blood as soon as I’m done with my capri sun.

[Misses the hole four times before finally getting the straw in]

[Y/n, sweats profusely]

-

Sokka: I have the sharpest memory, name one time I forgot something.

Y/n: You forgot me and Suki back in the fire nation 3 weeks ago.

Sokka: I did that on purpose, try again.

-

Y/n: Listen to me, love is a scam.

Bolin: You’re making a valentines card for Mako right now.

Y/n, points glue gun at him: You’re on thin fuckin ice.

-

Zuko: Whats with the napkin on the glass door?

Y/n: Aang keeps walking into the glass door, so I thought this might help.

Aang: Oh cool, a floating napkin!

[Walks into glass door]

[milolunde]

So, Sonic Forces! … again. Posts like this will be put under Forces!RW from now on, just so I can keep things together.

Following this post, I’ve been thinking about my reimagined Sonic Forces a lot. It’s high up on my list of things to rewrite, but… that list is quite long and is made up of stories that, for the most part, will live exclusively in my head. However, I had so much fun making my last post that I wanted to make another.

I wanted to touch on an aspect of the Phantom Ruby: how it’s able to make hordes of copies at Infinite’s will.

In my mind, the Phantom Ruby makes clones with the same attributes as any other illusion. Those made to witness the illusion will be unable to control feeling, despite reason, what they are witnessing is real. This enhances the Phantom Ruby’s powers, making its illusions able to affect the world as if they were real.

However, copies are different as they can perform most of the abilities their source can, but only if Infinite has a solid grasp on what those abilities are. For example, Chaos remains in his base state because Infinite does not understand his evolution, but he does understand chaos energy and chaos manifestation, so Shadow’s copies is able to harness Chaos Spear (though its nowhere on the scale of a true Chaos Spear. It gathers available chaos energy and turns it into a weapon, but without an emerald the copy has to draw upon the natural chaos energy around it). This is also one of the reasons Zavok is so… lame, for lack of a better word, and why Infinite resigns his copy to being Sonic’s jail keeper.

Why, then, would Eggman have Infinite stop at making copies of Zavok, Chaos, and Shadow? Of course, it’s because he finds them worthy allies as they have all put Sonic in close life or death situations and all have beaten Eggman himself at least once. If they worked together, they would undoubtedly be able to take Sonic out without the need for more manpower.

But… why not copy Sonic himself after his capture? Eggman chooses to copy Metal Sonic so, with Sonic himself imprisoned, having Sonic’s speed and agility on Eggman’s side would be a valuable resource.

————

vvv Continuation + Close Ups/Textless Art vvv

————

Eggman told Infinite they should make copies of Sonic to torment the world they were conquering. Having their precious hero, or at least his likeness, working with Eggman would destroy their moral… Infinite proposed, instead, not only was it too soon to show their cards in Infinite’s full abilities, but that tormenting the world with their hero acting against them would be nothing compared to the psychological play of allowing the world to believe Infinite, a hand in the Eggman Empire, had taken him out for good. Letting a likeness of their hero wander around could work against them, influencing people to gain a “hope against all odds” approach.

While Eggman agreed, it wasn’t until after he had Infinite show him the Ruby could, in fact, make a copy of Sonic. Despite not wanting to, having the copy ended up working in Infinite’s favor. After commenting on the pest Sonic was, the Doctor agreed that, yes, looking at that hedgehog for too long was giving him a migraine; he didn’t want to imagine what having hundreds of him would do… Good. Because Infinite thought Sonic was too annoying to waste his power forging copies of him, anyway.

Infinite looked at the copy. He could appreciate the hedgehog’s indomitable spirit and his ability to ruin things. He could even acknowledge that, yes, he was enough to be the world’s hero.

Until now.

————

Five, closing in on six months after Sonic’s defeat, Tails found himself miles from his live-in workshop, the last one left after Eggman’s takeover. He managed to gather supplies before his home was invaded and made it out by his scruff on the Tornado, but she hadn’t gotten them out without taking severe damage. Still, she flew, and she landed, and Tails could start repairing her to the best of his ability. He didn’t need a plane since the sky had been put under lockdown, but the Tornado was Sonic’s. He’d hate for Sonic to find out he had wrecked the Tornado and done nothing to fix it.

While sorting out the damaged parts, Tails heard something scuff behind him… He tensed before he moved, much too caught up with the Tornado to remember he should defend himself first, worry later, when his eyes caught the source of the sound.

Impossible.

Tails didn’t think it was possible, but he tensed more at the sight of his brother, his big brother, the sight of Sonic walking idly past him. Something slipped past Tails’ lips, maybe it was supposed to be words, but he didn’t know which ones. His big brother stopped. And turned towards him…

————

Gotta cut myself off from my more story-writer way of telling this before I get carried away. Apologies! But, if I’m able to work on this more, maybe there will be a full scene in a full chapter in a full story for this? Perchance…

Shadow would appear and, before Tails could process it, would be fighting the copy down the street. Shadow’s been dealing with Phantom copies since day one of Eggman’s invasion, and he knows Sonic well enough to be able to spot a fake from anywhere.

Tails would, of course, chase after them, leaving behind the Tornado and all of his supplies. As far as he knows, it was Shadow who helped take Sonic down in the first place and he’s ready for answers as to why, and answers on how Sonic got back, and why they’re fighting again, and…! Well, a lot of answers!

By the time Tails gets there, Shadow would have already taken the copy down; it’s on the floor, lifeless, and starting to disappear. Tails would launch himself at Shadow, claws and teeth bared, kicking and scratching out of everything he’s thought and felt about Shadow for the last five months, but Shadow would easily subdue him. Tails is tired, and hungry, and most of all he’s devastated.

Once Tails is able to hear anything Shadow tries to tell him, he would tell Tails about the fact Eggman is generating copies. Shadow has a certain soft spot for Tails, especially in his current situation, so while the scene would be to get information about the Phantom Ruby to Tails, it would also serve to give him the comfort he needs, and closure that no, Shadow didn’t hurt Sonic and, no he’s also not looking for him but, if he hears anything, he’ll let the kid know.

————

I don’t know if I’ve said it, but I’ve got a biiiiig list of media I’ve rewritten entirely in my head for fun and that usually means I have the most barebones chapter layout for them and even some ‘first drafts’ for certain chapters; like this hypothetical chapter!

That’s it, really. I had fun talking about Forces and showing how I would do things! I tend to get carried away a lot when I’m writing about the things I like. I really didn’t plan to write this post out the way I did. Hopefully the difference between my presenting the concepts and writing them out for a more entertaining read of what I would do wasn’t too confusing.

[vynegar]

vyn 5th birthday ssr, part five

a new resolution

same disclaimers from part one (note the extra one from usual, regarding story content)

youtube link to ShiroNaya’s video of the card story

links to previous parts: one two three four

more tot stuff here

do not repost

[PART FIVE]

[48:29]

Vyn didn’t want the situation to interfere with my work, so the next day I went to the law firm as usual. Online public opinion was worsening, and even his saving Zheng Yan was branded as insincere. The instigators hid behind their screens as they stirred up the masses, who were easily swayed by exaggerations or those were societally disadvantaged.

Some questioned Zheng Yan’s motives, asking why someone who truly wanted to end their life would start a livestream that was just asking for trouble. The opposition pointed out the imbalance in power dynamics; Zheng Yan’s extreme actions were simply out of desperation. He was at the end of his rope, and everyone could see his pain and despair.

[48:47] Near the Research Center

The endless altercations and continued smearing of Vyn’s name was heartrending to see. Once I was off work, I immediately rushed over to the research center to find Vyn.

MC: (It’s so quiet… I wonder why Vyn texted me to come here instead of going inside?)

In order to prevent any incidents, Vyn temporarily closed the research center, so the street that was typically brightly-lit was now empty and silent. One streetlamp feebly lit up a corner, a sharp contrast with the lively, bustling city streets in the distance.

Vyn: Over here.

The sight of Vyn’s warm smile dispelled most of my melancholy and confusion, and I walked up and took the hand Vyn reached out to me.

MC: Were you waiting a long time?

Vyn: No, you arrived just as I finished preparing.

MC: What are these…?

There were documents scattered haphazardly next to the flowerbed, and beside them was a shallow metal bowl. Vyn took a lighter out of his pocket and nimbly rolled the spark wheel. With a crisp click, sparks ignited then quickly extinguished.

Vyn: Just a little ceremony I have prepared.

The trees rustled in the night breeze, like background noise giving his words a sense of despondence.

Vyn: MC, I told you before about why I left Svart…

MC: Yeah.

That was when we visited Ferro Winery, and Vyn used his intoxication as an excuse to tell me about his past and his worries (1). Just like right now, that night was as quiet as if we were the only two people in the world.

MC: The Church interfered with you studying psychology. Eirik tried to resist them, but to no avail. You took the opportunity to abandon everything you didn’t care about and come to Stellis.

Vyn: Yes. I had not thought about that in a long time, until Zheng Yan appeared.

Vyn handed me an old newspaper. The bolded headline on it said: “Psychology student assists police in arresting a murderer. His true identity is…?” The contents of the article were largely consistent with what Vyn previously said, only with exaggerations to make Vyn’s performance seem prodigious. That was understandable, as a way to draw readers’ attention.

Vyn: Back then, my assistance to the police was kept highly confidential, but this article still showed up the next day as a front-page headline.

MC: Someone did this intentionally?

Vyn: Correct. Information can be leaked with unimaginable speed, even under the dual authority of both the police and the Haspran family.

I recalled that Zheng Yan had also alluded to this incident…

[flashback]

Zheng Yan: How shameless can you be?! I heard you used my case to make yourself the center of attention in Svart, and got everyone heaping praise on you and psychology. But who would’ve thought, behind all your fancy titles of “doctor” and “professor”, you’re nothing but filth!

[end flashback]

During the time, I hadn’t paid attention to the meaning behind his words. Now, I realized the irony in them.

MC: Was that also the work of Eirik’s political opponent?

Vyn: Yes…

Just as I expected, Vyn was finally filling in the gaps of what he didn’t elaborate on yesterday. It was because he had already previously been mired in controversy due to his father’s political disputes that made him so certain about Eirik’s call yesterday. He may have guessed it even earlier, once he sensed that there was someone in the shadows pulling the strings, only Vyn had still been holding out some hope.

MC: What happened next?

Vyn: Soon, news of the Haspran family heir’s study of and achievements in psychology spread throughout Svart. The Church was outraged, and pressured my father to explain and resolve the issue for them.

MC: Eirik wasn’t on your side?

Even though I knew the outcome, I couldn’t stop myself from asking. It wasn’t that I had any illusions about Duke Haspran… it was just a futile wish that Vyn hadn’t been completely isolated and abandoned back then.

Vyn: At the time, Father’s new policy reform was at a critical stage. The Church’s support was indispensable.

The words were so simple, yet they chilled my heart. If he needed the Church’s support, then he wouldn’t oppose them for Vyn’s sake… Zheng Yan kept claiming that Vyn made himself the center of attention, but what did that so-called “attention” actually get him?

Vyn: The only solution he could think of was a stalling tactic, and he asked me to temporarily give up on psychology. However, I was already determined to continue researching psychology, and I yearned to explore that in practice. I did not want to wait, and I felt I did not need to.

Vyn paused briefly, and the whole world felt suspended for that moment, even the moonlight dimming.

Vyn: I explained my passion to Father, but he felt that psychology research could be conducted at any time, while his new policy reform could not wait. In truth, neither of us was in the wrong. I should have known all along that our values were never aligned. The conflict finally became irreconcilable, and in the heat of an argument, my father threatened my right of inheritance.

At that point, Vyn looked slightly upward, avoiding my gaze. When he lowered his head again, I couldn’t see any hint of emotion in his face.

Vyn: I had no interest whatsoever in that, so the threat was meaningless. Therefore, I thought of a better solution.

MC: You decided to renounce your inheritance?

Vyn: Yes. That way, the Church could not use me to attack my father, and I could do whatever I wanted. It was a win-win situation.

Despite the satisfactory conclusion, Vyn still looked somewhat despondent. Was it a win-win, or actually a lose-lose…? They themselves might not even be certain.

“Click” – at the scraping of the spark wheel, an orange flame flickered at Vyn’s fingertips.

Vyn: As you can see, these years while I have been in Stellis, my father has always believed that I would change my mind someday. Consequently, he drew up legal documents to ensure that a majority of his assets and authority could be transferred to me.

I couldn’t tell if it was from the streetlamps or moonlight, but the stack of documents were luminous. Even without reading their contents, they seemed heavy.

Vyn: I have never had the heart to fully dispose of them, until now.

[54:23 illustration]

Without the slightest hesitation, he brought the documents to the lighter. Fire greedily leapt across the pages, and Vyn let go before they were fully consumed. The papers that symbolized the power revered and sought by countless people fell into the bowl like shooting stars, and soon only the faintest traces remained. Page after page, the words rapidly curled, shriveled, and burned, our apprehension disappearing along with it.

Vyn: Honestly, I should have done this long ago.

His cheeks were illuminated a rosy hue by the fire; his glasses reflected the dancing flames. Vyn’s face, however, was more carefree and relaxed than I had ever seen before.

Vyn: I loathe Svart, especially all those pretentious people. They see you, me, and Zheng Yan as nothing but pawns to control. From the very beginning when they leaked my assistance to the police, I was nothing more than a pawn in their game of political chess. No one cared if I genuinely loved studying psychology or if it was profitable… just like how no one is sincerely helping Zheng Yan. What he needs is treatment, not someone who sees him and even his mental illness as an opportunity to utilize.

I think I understood the ceremony Vyn was referring to. Being used, abandoned, and framed…that was not something he could be unaffected by. The meaning in burning these documents was miniscule compared to the trouble it would be to sort out the aftermath, but he needed to do this. People commonly use fire to declare the death of something, and Vyn needed fire to make this a true farewell.

MC: What do you plan to do next, Vyn?

Vyn: You mean “we”. From now on, no matter what we do, we will decide together.

Vyn held my hand. Perhaps warmed by the flames, his hand was hot.

Vyn: For Svart aristocrats, engaging with psychology is unacceptable in the eyes of the Church. We can expose this incident, just like what they did previously, and give them a taste of their own medicine.

MC: Alright. What do we need to do?

Vyn: First, I need to diagnose Zheng Yan and begin to treat him. Zheng Yan is an alter of James, which legally categorizes him as incapacitated due to mental illness. Therefore, he cannot be held legally accountable for any of his actions, including his testimony, which is also unlikely to be admitted in court. When he is able to attend court, I would like you to seek justice for him.

MC: Are you going to sue?

Vyn: Yes. Zheng Yan and I were both innocent people who were implicated in this. Of course, I could choose to quietly negotiate with the mastermind right now… I am sure that as long as I am willing to conceal Zheng Yan for him, he will choose to stop while he is ahead. However, I am tired of these temporary ceasefires. Eventually someone has to tear down their hypocritical masks. But this path is bound to be more difficult, and I…

The light crackle of burning paper seemed to finish his sentence.

MC: You’re ready, aren’t you? To walk this difficult, uncertain path. Then go give it your all.

As if caught in turbulence, the ashes leapt up then melted into the night without a trace.

MC: I can’t promise that we’ll win, or that the path ahead will be smooth sailing. But I believe in your decisions, which is why I became your companion.

With the moon bright above us, the last embers were about to extinguish.

Vyn: To be honest, I do not have any grand convictions. I am simply trying to become someone like that person mentioned in a book I read when I was younger. “I love the one who justifies people of the future and redeems those of the past.” (2)

Vyn smiled faintly, his silver hair swaying gently under the moonlight, looking pure and clear. He lowered his head and mouthed the remaining lines, as if in silent prayer –

“I love the one who justifies people of the future and redeems those of the past: for he wants to perish of those in the present.”

“I love the one whose soul is overfull, so that he forgets himself, and all things are in him: thus all things become his going under.”

“I love all those who are like heavy drops falling individually from the dark cloud that hangs over humanity: they herald the coming of the lightning, and as heralds they perish.”

[END PART FIVE]

(1) From Vyn’s Food for Thought SSR. This actually happens at the end of part 4 in the card story, before the scene where Vyn is “tipsy”.

(2) “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” Big Data Lab entry (under Works>Literature): These lines are all excerpts from Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Nietzsche (translated by 钱春绮Qian Chunqi), although it is not presented in the exact order it appears in the original.

[T/N] The excerpt is from end of passage four in the prologue of Thus Spoke Zarathustra: A Book for All and None (or Thus Spake Zarathustra depending on the translation), a book by the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. The lines do appear in this order, however there are lines in between that are omitted. The original is in German, so the quotes I’m using are from the English version translated by Adrian Del Caro and edited by Robert Pippin (2006). You can read the first part of the book, including the passage quoted by Vyn, here: https://assets.cambridge.org/052184/1712/excerpt/0521841712_excerpt.htm

Note that Vyn comments about the Svart coming-of-age ceremony in his Journey Forth With You SSR:

"It is a bit like Stellis' legend of rebirth from fire, only that the agent of rebirth in Svart is water."

[janus-cadet]

I am not very productive, this days. But! I am back on my tarot project! I mean, six cards left before I finish the Major Arcana. Well... five, since this one is done!

So, without further ado, here is The Chariot, with yet another character from another fandom... Dr. Horrible.

Yes, I'm still here, still in that fandom, and I think I'll never leave.

So... why Billy. Well, the Chariot is an interesting card, as it is, upright, a card of willpower and determination. It's all about making decisions in alignement of your values, taking action on those decisions, to reach success. Be confident in your capacity, it says! A bit like, well, when you want to change the world and decide to overthrown society to recreate it. Like the Doctor, taking a weopon to the shelter in an attempt to follow his values by entering the E.L.E. It's a Brand New Day, right ? The card tells you that this is not a time to be passive : he decided not to be, and, well, he did reach his goal.

But.

The reversed Chariot card, warns you to (forgive my language) back the fuck up in whatever you are doing. You are driving right toward a brick wall, trying to convince yourself that the path you choose is the right one for you when really, you ought to change direction. Perhaps you're not meant to join the E.L.E, after all. Did you think of the price you'll pay? Don't you think you should spend time with someone else? Perhaps you reached what you were aiming for. But perhaps, by doing that, you missed what (or perhaps who) would have actually been good for you. The card tells you to receonsider, before going after that van because a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do ; perhaps you ought to should have gone back to her, and talk.

Well. Everything you ever, right?

As for the composition... The original card figures a brave warrior standing proudly on the chariot, just like Dr. Horrible is doing here, in his... victorious... labcoat. The crown of victory are now the goggles ; and, as in the original card, he is not actually driving the chariot. He does not hold the reins : it's too late for that, mah dude.

The two black and white sphinxes are now the two opposites persona of the Doctor. There is Billy, in black, looking in one direction, perhaps with some sort of hope ; and there is the Doctor, in white, contemplating the consequence of the one he followed.

And well. That's about it, I guess!

And that's the card! Next one will be the card of Justice, with, erh, another fandom. Again. I swear it's not on purpose. I'm just not joking when I say I'm drawing for multifandoms.

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC: 11/11 Self-Care Messages 🍊🌚🦂

Hey y'all. I'm here to take a brief break from NaNoWriMo (I've been making big progress, I swear!). I've heard from some astrologers that this new moon is going to be rather strong, similar to the energy of the full moon.

After some scouring through the web to find horoscopes that weren't all doom and gloom, I figured now would be a good time to draw some cards for a few wellness messages. This was done to check current mood and energy and suggest healing or wellness methods mainly for stress relief.

I emphasize that if you have a real medical issue, best to take it to a doctor, even if you're thinking it's possibly a psychic thing.

Please choose your pile based on palette color below:

Pile 1 - Tropics Pile 2 - Pinkadelic Pile 3 - Mysterious Night Pile 4 - Solar Energy

Take care~☼

Pile 1: Tropics

The World, Peace, Surrender, Salt Bath, Receive, King of Cups, Knight of Swords, Seven of Coins

So you've done it, or it's been done. You've checked the items off your list. You've asked others if there was more to do only to be met with shaking heads saying "no, but thanks." So what to do now? It's easy to get used to this position of needing to be the big helper all the time. A king of cups taking on the world wants to solve every problem and won't rest until everyone is satisfied. But what would all of that take? Is it worth draining your cup, especially when others are learning to rely on it so much?

Your cards are suggesting a much needed rest time. If it's not a salt bath, then try just resting in bed, a brief sunbath, or a massage therapy session. It's not just resting your body, but your mind. You got two color cards which fell out. Surrender the mind for peace within the body. They're linked in this case. Knight of Swords says whatever happens to one will quickly affect the other. Recovery may take some time so please give yourself space to breathe.

This could be a specific message for some out there. I felt a brief pang in my chest that went away as soon as your reading was finished. I don't usually interpret this Salt Bath card in such a literal way, but… please watch your salt intake, more or less, make sure you're getting iodized salt. Some of you may be worried about doctor's visits? Just make sure you're drinking enough water in between salty meals. Keep your stress levels down, above all.

Take care of your heart health and try not to run yourself ragged with too many assignments and crisis alerts going off (what the heck there's a random phone alarm going off in my house now JUST as I'm typing this! And then it stopped as soon as I got up! Crazy). The message is to not respond to every single call and alarm that goes off okay! You definitely need time to rest, and boundaries for said rest. I mean deeply rest and clear your mind, let yourself suspend from the schedule with some suds. You can't get away to paradise forever, but you can create for yourself a moment in time.

Pile 2: Pinkadelic

Five of Coins, Trust, Bodega Cat, Acceptance, VI The Lovers, XVII Star, Ace of Cups

Tick tock, you've been waiting a while for this to come around in your life. I feel this is strongly a love related reading but let's see. If it's not a romantic partner you're attracting, it's a fresh start at life or spiritual awakening, the feeling of falling in love again with life. You've likely been waiting for a while, stuck in a limbo state, learning how to remain comfortable or at least steady in the unknown. Yet you're eager for that "more" or "other" kind of experience. The type of manifestation that makes life feel magical and new.

You need a quick pep talk. I might get a little cheesy with the message, but here goes: For anyone who has yet to meet you, you are that magic spark in their life. You're radiating the energy of wish making and affection and that has an effect on others around you. You're already on the way to attracting the one who will properly recognize that for you. I'm picking up on a lot of artists in this pile. Your magic seeps through to your art, your aura or energy rubs off onto what you make, and somebody special will see the talent in your work. You have way more talent in the arts than you think.

With that said, the Bodega Cat is a lucky cat here to remind you of your independence. You ultimately don't need anyone to come along and remind you of how amazing your work is. Once you see it for yourself, they will come. Once you see it as done, they will show. Perhaps more than it may seem right now. Just like the cat can be itself and people will show up to pet it and take pictures, whatever you bring forth will carry that same unique charm naturally.

You may be in the mood to go on a shopping spree. Treat yourself to something small and nice, like candy or a new t-shirt, it doesn't have to be extravagant. I recommend affirmations specifically on self-love for you, pile 2. Take a mirror marker and write nice things on your mirror. Pet a lucky cat when one stops by, as well! Sweeten your water with some fresh fruit for a sensual touch. Trust and believe. All of this beautiful magical energy is bursting outwards from you! Accept the wish that's there out in front of you.

Pile 3: Mysterious Night

Three of Swords, Growth, Dandelion, Perspective, XII Hanged Man, King of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune

I can tell that whatever has happened in the last few months, you've taken on a hurdle of challenges to get to where you are now. You've had to learn some harsh lessons, some of which may have felt like they were coming out of nowhere. The word 'Disappointment' was clear and capitalized. It seemed like you took many chances or opportunities on, only to be spun around and left in the dark to figure things out on your own. This last cycle was a particular struggle to build resilience while maintaining the motivation to keep moving toward your goals.

But look, you got both the Growth and Dandelion card in your reading! This is truly signifying how much you've really fought back and continued to nurture yourself in spite of the circumstances thrown in your face over and over. There's a spirit of not giving up even when you let yourself have the chance to process the feeling otherwise. Determination isn't about pretending to be happy in spite of comebacks. Disappointments happen; it's a chance to cry it out before smiling again, it's an umbrella and rain coat to let the day rain from time to time instead of expecting the skies to always stay clear.

You've weathered so much and gained an abundance of wisdom this past season, it's like at this point you're gearing up to be ready for whatever comes next. I don't know if you are necessarily expecting good things to come your way, however. Those might be the very things to sweep you off your feet. Or you may still be too on guard to notice the good luck. It's like the dandelion has gotten acclimated to the cracks, but is it ready for the wheel to turn and for the water to flow in between?

I feel like this whole reading is about being ready for a level up. If you need 999 XP to do so, then right now you're at 900. You're getting to the finish line. But instead of getting too worked up about the end result, however, you've mastered the art of hanging back and waiting for when the time is right. Your new perspective allows you to lay back and take a breather between these strong growth spurts. Remember to stay grounded to your toughened roots, pile 3. Try out grounding exercises and meditations. Spend time out in nature when considering the next moves you're going to make in life. No need to rush this kind of growth.

Pile 4: Solar Energy

Two of Swords, Fear, What You Seek is Seeking You, Change, XV The Devil, Ten of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, Six of Pentacles

I always forget how terrifying the devil card is in this deck lol! In fact I'm seeing and sensing a LOT of fear and anxiety in this pile which is why I went and added an extra tarot card. Six is pentacles on top of the deck is good as it shows help is on the way soon. Remember to stay centered and calm at this time, your chance to heal is coming for you, but you may need to yield some of the resistance behind allowing the change necessary to make way for that healing to occur.

It seems as though your pile conjures images of wanting to see daylight at the end of the tunnel. You feel that change is coming very soon and you're not sure if you're able to handle the next cycle after the one that you've been through. Quite the wringer you've been in for some time… I think a lot of y'all have done some shadow work recently, and it has not been the easiest. It's not always about meditating and journaling. Sometimes it's about seeing how simple, basic fears that are universal to humankind can get distorted and become something much more twisted. When you work past the scary parts, you can see the fear for what it really is. 10 of Swords is Sun in Gemini, learning that sometimes overthinking isn't going to solve the problem, especially when the worst is already past you.

A lot of good things seem to be underway for you even if they're not present at the moment. You've done a fair share of rummaging in the attic and going through all the old, little things. You're going through an extensive clearing out phase. Give yourself the opportunity to put the swords of caution down and accept a gentle wave of positive changes to restructure your life piece by piece.

I'm also getting that this pile may be particularly affected by seasonal affective disorder. Make sure to go out and get some sunlight outside, through windows, or UV lamps. I don't know for sure how Vitamin D supplements would help and you'll want to be careful with St John's Wort if you're on medication, but John's Wort is a good supplement I use for my tea to combat the winter blues. If you sense that your mental state may be getting triggered by lack of sunlight, please look into it.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[swallowedbyfandom]

Colin felt trapped. There was no other word for it. He was trapped in a nightmare of his own making. His stupidity had gotten the better of him in the worst possible moment. He had stood by and watched Pen grow increasingly uncomfortable with Lord Fife's visible arousal. He reframed from stepping forward because he foolishly thought Fife's poor showing would make him look better in comparison. He failed Pen. He did not offer her the protection he once promised her, he stood frozen as another man brought himself to climax in front of Penelope. Portia instead emerged as Penelope's most vehement defender.

What was it Pen had said? "If you lay with dogs you will get flea." Portia had looked at him with such disgust. He never thought he would see the day that Portia Featherington deemed him too lowly for her daughter, but here he was. It had not mattered how many times he had hit Fife, in the end he had still feel tainted by what he witnessed. How had he drifted so far from his honor that he has allowed such a thing to happened?

Things just seemed to get worse from there. Firstly, he did not even get the chance to restore Penelope's honor as Lady Whistledown published her most scandalous edition yet, covering the events that happened in the Featherington drawing room and the resulting brawl that spilled out onto the square. It was her scathing commentary over Fife's long term history as a cad who repeated attempted to compromise vulnerable debutants that had the whole of society up in arms. Fife fled town hours after the edition printed.

Secondly, every call he paid on Pen was heavily chaperoned by Portia and varies Featherington staff. Portia also refused to allow him to call on Pen outside of formal calling hours. It was distracting to have to deal with Portia's poorly hidden disapproval. He knows just a month ago she would have been smugly gloating over marrying her daughter to him. Now she eyes him like he is about to urinate on her rugs. That is how uncouth she finds him. Penelope herself seemed to treat him with polite indifference. No longer did she look at his as if he was special. Somehow it seemed every time he called on her, he lost a little more of her regard.

Thirdly, was how every attempt he made to court Penelope seemed to fall flat. He barely managed to sign her dance cards during balls. Out of five balls they attended he only managed to secure a second dance at two of them. The rest of the time he was forced to watch her twirl and laugh with other gentlemen. He even had to suffer watching her promenade on Lord Samadani's arm multiple times.

Then there was that stupid ring. It galls Colin to admit that Debling is indeed a smooth bastard. He had Pen promise to wear his engagement ring on her right hand. It is supposed to be a reminder to stay true to herself, but Colin knows the truth. That ring is a blatant power play, a move to rattle the insecure. Damn it all, it is effect. The last time he saw that ring sitting proudly on Pen's hand he got so lost glaring at it he failed to make conversation. It is infuriating. If she had just accepted his proposal they could be married already.

His family are no help! Anthony harassed him over taking so long to visit the doctor. Then he pointed out that Colin had not asked Lady Featherington for permission to court her daughter. Anthony seemed to think Portia perfectly reasonable in her restrictive access to Penelope. Kate merely gave him judgement looks. She said Penelope had practically given him an instruction manual.

Mother refused to give him any courting advice. She merely gave him defeated eyes and consoling hugs. He had thought his mother would encourage him to fight harder for Pen. Shockingly she urged him to let her go. She told him his reluctance at taking a risk for Pen led her to believe he was not yet ready for marriage. It seems his mother did not believe him capable of regaining Pen's heart. It was a blow he did not see coming. She tried to explain herself but he was so tried of everyone expecting him to fail. Pen was the only person in his life to ever believe him capable of accomplishing anything.

Francesca was the most helpful even if she seemed reluctant to comment. She gently reminded him that Penelope had a front row seat to his desperate attempts at capturing her cousin's attentions. She questioned if perhaps Penelope found his attempts to play court to her half hearted in comparison. That conversation he can admit did seem to hold some truth in it. He could not articulate the difference to between the two courtships in a way that seemed to satisfy the women in his family.

Of course his courtship with Lady Crane was more open, he was so trusting back then. He had not yet learned to guard his heart. He was a fool back then.

His courtship with Pen is not halfhearted. He was just more cautious with, her. He can admit to himself that perhaps he has held back on courting her as grandly as she deserves. Not due to any failing in her so much as it feels hypocritical to court a Lady one has denied so openly. He knows any grand act of courtship he makes after having made such a statement will be viewed as performative and false. He does not want that for them.

His shame makes him feel so unworthy of her. Perhaps a better man would let her go find another, but he loves her. He needs her in his life. Why should he step back? He is sure if she just gave him a chance he could make her happy. He would spend the rest of their lives making up for his many mistakes. He would never give her reason to doubt him again. She just has to trust him once more.

After all their history, courtship feels like an unnecessary step back. Why can they not just move forward? He wants to move toward their future.

[inscrutable-shadow]

The first thing one notices about the Doctor is their silver hair, most likely. They're tall, just over six feet, and look a bit too young to have all of their hair grey, but just old enough that perhaps they're just ageing incredibly gracefully. They're rarely seen without a lab coat on either, whether actually in a medical setting or somewhere it would be incongruous.

Blorbo Blursday #1

Welcome to the first of the new generation of Blorbo Blursday, brought to you by @athenswrites! Reblog this post or tag this in your responses, however long or short they may be!

What is the first thing others tend to notice about your character? What makes them stand out in a crowd?

Taglist (DM me to be added or removed): @every-eye-evermore @muumysworld @afusiek @the-ravens-requiem @sender-paulson @everthewip @bluberimufim @amaiguri @akiwitch @thetruearchmagos @autumnalwalker @gracehosborn @cljordan-imperium @aether-wasteland-s @saintedseraph @deanwax @berristrawberri @owlbearwrites @the-down-upside-finch @stridingwriter @dandelion-jester @johnmurphysgirl @ghostsofchernobyl @alexsidereus @innocenthedgehog @oh-for-a-dream @unmellowyellowfellow @oh-no-another-idea @druidx @ibuprofen-exe @shay-creates @aquadestinyswriting @loopyhoopywrites @n1ghtcrwler @writingonmymind @wardenred @void-botanist @dyrewrites @sm-writes-chaos @iishmael @romances-not-tragedies @inscrutable-shadow

[inscrutable-shadow]

Augusnippets Day 21 - Path of Whumperless Whump - Delirium

for the doc lovers, except they're being 17 instead of horrifying (Aspen Weiss is their old name and Joni is their fraternal twin sister) i kinda did a weird thing with the prompt but hopefully it's ok i am eepy myself

Aspen knew they'd gone too far. Despite their efforts to ignore the fact, their body was, unfortunately, human, and there was a limit to the number of hours they could study without pausing for sleep. If they were honest, nutrition shakes and coffee weren't much of a substitute for sustenance either. Their hands were shaking around the mugful of stone-cold liquid between them.

How long had it been since they turned a page? The textbook in front of them was nothing but a blur, time and space seemed to flow around them like oil on the surface of water. Distorted sounds teased the edges of their hearing. If they didn't know better, they'd chalk it up to mania, they were no stranger to psychosis, but the sleep deprivation had induced a sort of delirium instead. The difference was something they ought to know if they were to become a doctor.

Yes. The exams. The exams they needed to pass in three days if they ever wanted to escape this seven-devilled facility. They didn't have time to study and to prepare their grand exit, so much needed to be done, and neither part could go forward without the other. Hence sleep was the first thing to be cut. Now they were realizing that had been an error in judgement.

"-spen? Aspen! Az, come on, are you in there?" Oh. So some of the sound had been real. Their eyes were slow to obey, blown pupils fixing on Joni like a drunkard's.

"Jävlar, what'd you take?"

"Nothing… clean. Promise." Oops. That had been a microsleep just then. Hopefully Joni hadn't seen it.

"Helvete. You're falling asleep standing up. You're going to bed. No complaints." That was fine, because they didn't have the energy to.

doc taglist: @i-eat-worlds , @quietly-by-myself, @demondamage, @atomiccorvid

[jessicanjpa]

Here is your Twilight Advent Calendar for 2023!

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Instead of candy, here are some bite-sized headcanon prompts for each day throughout December 1–25. Each one is simple enough to answer with a quick headcanon post, but your ficlets, fan art, and moodboards will add some extra sparkle!

You can answer each prompt on its day or schedule your posts ahead of time. The tag is #twilightadvent23.

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Dec. 1 - Who is Rosalie's favorite vampire friend outside of the Cullens? What does she like to do with them?

Dec. 2 - What is Emmett's favorite board game or card game? How has he modified it to be more challenging?

Dec. 3 - Pick one deceased Twilight character to draw or tell us more about. How would the Twilight universe be different if they were still alive?

Dec. 4 - What does Sam like about being the alpha? What's difficult about it? And how does he feel post-BD1 about Jacob's new role?

Dec. 5 - What is each Cullen's favorite college major so far? What new major should they try someday?

Dec. 6 - What was it like for Eleazar to see the Volturi/his fellow guards again in Breaking Dawn?

Dec. 7 - Choose one Twilight couple (or an AU ship) and tell us about an argument they've had. How did they resolve it in the end?

Dec. 8 - What was it like for Jasper to train and fight in the Eclipse battle after so many years of peace?

Dec. 9 - What is it like for Carlisle to work as a doctor now versus back when he was alone?

Dec. 10 - Pick one of the witnesses in Breaking Dawn. What was it like for them to stay at the Cullens' home for those two weeks? Who did they spend time with?

Dec. 11 - Besides painting, what art forms does Esme enjoy? How do you imagine her art room/setup looks? (Fan artists, want to show us?)

Dec. 12 - What changes did the rest of the family see in Edward as he began to fall in love with Bella?

Dec 13 - What were Maria's thoughts when she heard about the gathering in Breaking Dawn?

Dec 14 - Tell us about an OC you like, either your own or someone else's. Include a drawing, moodboard, or playlist if you'd like to!

Dec 15 - Tell us about a point in the canon timeline where things could have easily gone in a different direction. How differently would things turn out in this AU?

Dec. 16 - How close do you think Charlie and Renée will come to knowing the whole story eventually?

Dec. 17 - What do your favorite Volturi guards do for fun/hobbies?

Dec. 18 - What are some things the Cullens do every time they move? Does anyone have any rituals re: leaving a location or starting at a new one?

Dec. 19 - Tell us some headcanons about a Twilight character you don't usually post about. Write a ficlet or include a sketch, moodboard, etc. if you like!

Dec. 20 - Headcanons for the summer between Twilight and New Moon (Bella/Edward or other characters)?

Dec. 21 - Pick any five characters. What's something they always carry with them?

Dec. 22 - What did Alice do to pass the time pre-1948?

Dec. 23 - What's one of your favorite scenes in Twilight (books or films) and why?

Dec. 24 - What Christmas/holiday gifts are your favorite characters exchanging this year?

Dec. 25 - For one of the Twilight vampires, tell us about a Christmas or winter memory from their human days.

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Bonus for new year's eve - What resolutions are your favorite Twilight characters making for the new year?

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

[soylent-crocodile]

Phyrexia

(The Fourth Sphere by Dave Kendall)

What is Phyrexia?

Phyrexia is a disease. It spreads, infects, and consumes. Phyrexia is a faith. It has gods, beliefs, and practices. Phyrexia is a threat. It's coming for you.

Phyrexia is one of the oldest and most unique factions in the card game Magic the Gathering. It has a focus on machinery and body horror that blurs the line between fantasy and science fiction. It has a long history, both within the fiction and as a fiction, and style that draws inspiration from a lot (Hi HR Geiger) but is fully its own idea; all this makes it ripe to translate to Pathfinder. (Innistrad, for example, also has rich history, but is the exact same niche as Ustalav, so I have no reason to make conversions.) This page intends to serve as a guide to Phyrexia for outsiders, as well as outline the conversion I'm making.

Old Phyrexia in Magic: the Gathering

(I am not an expert on the pre-mending lore of MtG; this intends to serve as a drive-by of the important points. That era of Magic is messy and has a lot of nits and details.)

In lore, Phyrexia began as a sort of cult surrounding a man named Yawgmoth, a doctor from an ancient science-magic society called the Thran. Technically, the original plane of Phyrexia was not created by Yawgmoth, but by a powerful Planeswalker (interdimensional godline being whose power would later get massively nerfed, as a category), but Yawgmoth quickly made it his own.

From there, the humans he brought with him turned to biomechanical experimentation and built a religion aroung Yawgmoth, who became known as the Father of the Machines. They were, unfortunately, trapped on the plane- Yawgmoth (who had ascended to a godlike state) wished to bring his conquest back to Dominaria (the plane from which they came) and beyond.

(Gix, Yawgmoth Praetor by Anna Bodedworna)

There were two major incursions of Phyrexia into Dominaria- first, the Brother's War, a story that was old when Magic was new. Two brothers- Urza and Mishra- had found powerful Thran artifacts, which lead to a power struggle between them. Mishra eventually found a Phyrexian portal, became corrupted (a recurring theme of Phyrexia), and eventually lost when Urza unleashed a magical nuke on the plane, hurtling Dominaria into a supernatural ice age and turning him into one of the godlike Planeswalkers.

The second was the conclusion of the Weatherlight Saga, an arc somwhat orchestrated by the now-ancient being that Urza had become and focusing on a man named Gerard and the crew of an interplanar vessel called the Weatherlight. They first show up having corrupted and taken over Rath, as well as Gerard's adopted brother Vuel. The saga concludes with the plane of Rath being overlaid onto Dominaria in an event that ended with most of the cast dead and Phyrexia and Yawgmoth as it stood destroyed, where they would stay for about a decade.

New Phyrexia in Magic: the Gathering

In 2009 Scars of Mirrodin was released, revealing that the setting of Mirrodin (Magic's other most original and interesting setting, sigh) had in fact been corrupted by Phyrexian Oil. The war, which lasted a year in real life, saw Mirrodin being almost entirely consumed and remade into New Phyrexia, a setting with a new art direction and five new leaders.

(artist unknown)

New Phyrexia, and exploring it card-by-card on a now defunct MtG card archive, was my personal introduction to the setting, and the style of Phyrexia that I am most fond of. It now encompassed all five colors of Magic, each with their own distinct subfaction, and felt less like an 80s metal album cover and more like its own, separate thing (for better or worse, to be clear, 80s metal album covers own).

In the 2020s, New Phyrexia had an arc where they had managed to successfully travel to other planes, and used that to do a big multiverse invasion that ended with all but one of their leaders dead and the nature of planes and planeswalkers in the wider MtG setting changed in a precedented paradigm shift.

Phyrexia on Golarion

So, with all that out of the way, let's talk about how I plan to translate that into MtG.

Phyrexian Beliefs Phyrexians are supremacists of a sort; they believe that their way, darwinist philosophy surrounding the forced merging of metal and flesh, is the one true way. Fortunately, they are not here to exterminate others- simply to convert them, by force. "All will be One."

To this end they spread across the galaxy, consuming entire planets and converting their flesh to glorious Phyrexian constructs.

Yawgmoth Yawgmoth is the progenitor of Phyrexia and its god, although by New Phyrexia he's very much dead. The five praetors took his place, with him existing mostly as allusions, even as a past failure that they will not replicate! (spoiler: they fail).

Personally, I like Yawgmoth existing in past tense. He was the god of Phyrexia, but he has been killed- possibly by some great Good divinity trying to end his scourge, more likely through conflict with the nihilistic Dominion of Black. Either way, his name is spoken in Phyrexia with both reverence and shame, and the five Praetors now each carry a fraction of his divinity.

The Five Praetors Now in Magic canon 4/5 of them are dead now, and during the lead-up there was a lot of political jockeying, but I will have them as they existed in between NPH and the Invasion arc; With Elesh Norn as de facto leader, Jin-Gitaxias and Vorinclex respecting her but doing their own thing, and Sheoldred and Urabrask believing in Phyrexia but not in Norn's graces.

Planes and Planets The nature of Planes in MtG is different from planes in Pathfinder/DnD; they're their own self-contained world, each possibly with their own cosmology, rather than being the cosmology of one coherent world. As such, I am changing Phyrexia from an interplanar threat to an interstellar one.

The Praetors, while about on the level of a nascent demon lord, are divinities of the material plane; they lack a home in the outer sphere.

Phyrexia and Other Factions Because the Praetors are acting as their own divinities, Phyrexia has little to no relationship with the gods at work on Golarion, as well as with the Outer and Elder gods.

As I alluded to before, Phyrexians have a poor relationship to the Dominion of Black. The Dominion is nihilistic, seeking to destroy all life, while the Phyrexians seek to consume and convert it. If you want to take the Illithids from @thecreaturecodex's conversion, they almost certainly have a poor relationship with them too.

If your Dark Tapestry is feeling a bit crowded but you want to include Phyrexia, I would personally use them as a replacement for the Dominion. If you did so, I would moisturize Numeria so to speak, replacing much of its harsh desert with noxious swampland more palatable to Phyrexian tastes.

[inscrutable-shadow]

contains: captivity, lab whump, does it count as noncon drugging if you did it to yourself?

Harper noticed it almost immediately.

The Doctor never left equipment lying out. Everything was meticulously packed away and set out of his reach, no matter how long they intended to step out of the lab. When the alarm had gone off, he'd resigned himself to a couple of hours strapped to the restraint bench alone with nothing to do but hope they'd come back before he needed to use the toilet, but this time, they'd set the hypospray on the arm of the restraint bench, cursing under their breath and rolling up the sleeves of their lab coat as they hurried from the room. Harper's eyes widened. Could this be his chance?

He remembered how it had felt the last time the Doctor had used this drug on him. He could feel himself getting much stronger, almost like he could have torn through the restraints. If he could get it into him without their being here, then maybe he could find a way out of the lab and find some help. He stretched his pinky toward the handle.

It was a bit too far for comfort, he had to writhe around inside of the wrist restraint for almost five minutes, and he tore open the skin underneath doing so, but eventually, he held the prize in his hands. He was dressed in the paper clothes the Doctor always put him in for experiments, and so extending his fingers out to put the needles through the gown and into his thigh was the easiest option. Elation sparked under his skin, he was about to be free!

The instant the drug began spreading through his system, he knew something was wrong. This didn't feel like the serum the Doctor had been testing for the last couple of weeks. That always sort of fizzed as it filled his veins, a cold sensation like sparkling water. This burned. It ripped through him like wildfire. The pain spiked so high he thought he would vomit. And then, he started to fade.

The numbness came first, a tingling relief after the burning lava, following the drug's path through his circulation. He sagged against the chair, hoping this was the end of the effect, but then he noticed that his hands were a bit more transparent than he was used to. His thoughts were as slow as treacle, and he didn't have time to fully process this before slipping from the restraints into a heap on the floor. Free, at last, but unable to move at all, a buzzing hum filled his entire body including his head.

He wasn't going to cry about this. The Doctor did all sorts of things to him that made him want to cry, but he wouldn't give them the satisfaction, especially considering that he'd technically done this to himself. He would wait for them to come back, however long that took, and give him something that would make him feel human again. And hope that he hadn't completely faded from reality by then.

---

The Doctor picked up the tape recorder around their neck and clicked it on, as was their habit. "Experiment 261-28, A and B. Experiment A quite the success. Ability transferal from subject 266 appears to be complete, though not controlled. Further testing is required, of course. Is there something about 197 that prevents her ability from being transferred to others? Or is it simply 261 that is incompatible? Experiment B also a success, 261 behaved exactly as predicted. I suppose I should pick him up off of the floor eventually. Perhaps not until after I have had another coffee. End log."

taglist: @i-eat-worlds

Consider:

Whumpee realizing they’ve done something they really shouldn’t have.

Bonus points: They don’t get caught, but the consequences are somehow just as severe

[notwantedonthemoon]

I gave Lucy and Ham a design update! Originally I only wanted to do Ham but Lucy barged into the room and no one can make her leave.

Design notes:

• I really was not satisfied with their original colour schemes. I know that Lucy was described as wearing a rose-coloured gown but she’s so purple in my head. • And Ham should be more red. He’s associated with red in the novel (and his brothers with yellow and blue- they’re the primary colour brothers) and that image of Misa Amane in the top left corner was my original reference for him, but he simply doesn’t look right to me unless he looks like a walking Valentine’s Day card. Misa Amane’s picture got to stay because a). I love her and b). I’m gonna talk about her later. • His hair also had to change- I’m probably going to redo Hannah at some point. I was thinking of saving Ham’s original reddish brown colour for Hannah instead, and I don’t want them to look too similar. So now his hair looks like a fox- which is fitting for his character and also very funny because his wife is terrified of foxes. • Don’t ask how the darker ends work without hair dye, we’re going off cartoon logic here. • I am now certain that Lucy’s height exists solely to torment me whenever I want to draw her next to someone else. I was in tears drawing this, wondering why Findley couldn’t have been happy with a six foot tall angel. • Lucy is seven foot five. I have no idea if I drew her tall enough or if I ever will.

The part where Misa Amane is relevant

• Ham’s character felt like he was being set up for a much more important role than he actually got, and I was waiting for a twist or a character arc or something, but it never happened. This guy is determined to stay irrelevant forever. I saw a source somewhere describe Ham as less of a character and more of an excuse to introduce Lucy. It cracked me up so I had to include it in here. • Just to be clear: I do like Ham as is. He’s an entertaining and also very heartfelt character- one of his defining traits is just, ‘Loves Things A Lot’ (kinda reminds me of Pat of Silver Bush- everyone go read Pat of Silver Bush that book is fantastic). • But also: he could have been better. His character got 10 times more likeable to me when I realized that he kind of resembles Misa Amane from Death Note, so by that logic he’d be a better character if you just make him more like Misa Amane from Death Note. • Also: I only ever watched the Death Note musical and I know next to nothing about the anime. But I heard that Misa is pretty annoying in the anime? Shame. • The parallels are already there. Both characters have complicated relationships with death- Ham’s first action in the book is being forced to kill a lamb, Misa’s entire family got murdered- and then cheating death somehow; Ham spent his childhood nearly dying of like, plague or whatever, and a death god sacrificed his life to extend Misa’s time on Earth. They’re both characterized as being incredibly loving, with Ham defined by his “love of life so great that he could not bear to kill” and Misa being defined by her love for her family that drove her to pledge her loyalty and give away half her life to their unknowing avenger.

• If I were writing Ham I’d establish him as a character who is deeply loyal- to his family and to his values. He thought that that loyalty had to extend to his father be default- they’re family, despite their very very tense relationship. The sacrifice at the start of book one made him do an immediate 180 on that, and it was why he was so willing to throw his oar in completely with Lucy. • That 180 turn was motivated by an unbelievable amount of pent up rage and spite. In terms of general ideals I’d say Ham is pretty traditional and goes along with whatever’s popular because it causes less problems for him- the only principles he sticks firmly to are his scientific ones. He’s not like Lucy, who knows what she believes in and fights for it- him opposing Doctor Noyes is an emotional, reactionary decision, not based off of any deeper principles (other than the no-killing one) or self-reflection about his existing worldviews. • A lot of his development will be directly tied to Lucy, since she’s the more significant character out of the two. And being with Lucy would make him much more willing to make impulsive decisions; which actually isn’t very far from canon, Ham is pretty impulsive. When I first got to the two-day-engagement part of the book I was convinced that a love potion had to be involved somewhere, because I couldn’t wrap my head around the designated ‘logical scientist character’ making such a reckless decision. But then I got further into the book and Ham… runs into a burning building. Keeps on fumbling conversations by blurting out his opinion and immediately regretting it. So… he’s kind of just like that. That lines up. • For a scientist character he’s very emotional- which I like a lot! It’s a nice change of pace. Being a scientist doesn’t automatically make you more rational and reasonable than anyone else. Sometimes you can be a really good scientist and still have the emotional intelligence of a sea sponge. Ham strikes me as someone who doesn’t really ‘get’ emotions because he can’t logic his way through them like with most of the stuff he studies, so he ignores them until they explode ‘completely out of nowhere’. My conclusion here is that someone should hand him a book on mindfulness. • (The real question is why Lucy was down for the two-day-engagement; it’s not to survive the flood. She and Ham were engaged before Yaweh came up with the flood plan.)

• All this is setting Ham up as Lucy’s eventual closest ally and the most fiercely loyal friend she could ever ask for. He thinks the world of her and would do just about anything for her… but he wouldn’t kill for her. That’s a line he crossed once and wouldn’t ever again.

• And Lucy loves him. Of course she does. But sometimes she wonders if her friend’s loyalty is anything like her brother’s blind devotion to Yaweh. She doesn’t like that thought.

• In the novel their relationship is largely just. Very lacklustre, with no development or indication that they really care about each other. But since they’re such a blank slate I can do whatever I want with them, and what I want is Lucy the revolutionary and her aggressively supportive science bestie. • I like to think that Ham and Lucy’s relationship would be best described as a queerplatonic relationship- though they wouldn’t have the vocabulary to describe that exactly. I know that they’re married but… they really don’t have any romantic chemistry. I’m sorry to anyone who thinks that they make a good couple (if you exist. At all) but I simply do not see it.

• (If someone does have an interpretation of their relationship that is romantic I would absolutely love to see it. If someone has anything to say at all about this book I would love to see it.)

[orianightshade]

Promptober Day Eleven: Rabbit Hole

No reposting/copying

Diary of Lottie Betgerin

-Nuebrock Sanitorium-

Day One

17 May 1886

I’m not crazy. 

I’m not the type of crazy that deserves to be locked up here. That type of crazy is reserved for those wretched cannibals and murderers. I’m not one of those. 

Even if my family says that I deserve it, I don’t.

The room they are holding me is small and bare. It is a drastic difference from my old room within the mansion, with the many different furniture pieces and large bed. In this room, there is but a tiny bed barely the size of my body, a toilet, and sink.

Another thing about this room is how cold it is. They don’t allow you to wear much aside from the simple gown they give you, and despite my pleas for socks, they refused me.

I suppose the coldness extends to the people who work here. Nothing but eyes that just belittle you with their pupils, insult you with their irises, and stares that make you itch.

There is only one set of eyes I have seen that hold life within them. He introduced himself as Dr. Torques, and told me he will be my primary caretaker. They glimmer unnaturally, looking green at one moment, then blue the next . . . but they hold life. They’re not the black eyes of the other nurses and doctors. 

He is quite kind too. He listened to me when I told him my reasons for being sent here without any object, and afterwards he didn’t call me crazy or delirious. In fact, he said that he believes me and would help me get out of the sanatorium as quickly as possible. 

However, he said I must prove my sanity to his colleagues, so it might not be for a couple of weeks. I can handle that I suppose. 

I just hope to be home soon to prove that bloody liar of a husband wrong.

Day Two

18 May 1886

I have been informed there is no Dr. Torques employed at Nuebrock Sanitorium. Which is impossible, because he visited me again today with a pair of socks. I am wearing them right now to ward off the chill that seems to stubbornly set in. 

When I asked him about it, he looked confused as if he couldn’t believe someone told me that. He suggested they must work in a separate ward that he doesn’t associate with, and therefore didn't know he worked here.

He asked me how my day has been. I told him it was fine and that I had started talking with another one of the patients during the hour where certain levels of patients  were allowed to congregate in a common room and chat. The more normal of the crazy. 

I got to know her. Her name is Annabelle. She was sent here because she has trouble sleeping, often having long manic episodes where she won’t sleep for days, and then falling into periods of near-coma slumber. 

I asked her if she can dream in these. She said yes. Her dreams are rather strange though. They make sense and yet they don’t. There is always someone who greets her and welcomes her. They have the head of a flower. There’s another man who looks blind and will engage her in conversation from time to time, but mostly keeps to himself in an office in a building that seems to pop up every once-in-awhile. 

She tells me she can feel the blind man watching her even when she is awake. It’s just something about the eyes. 

Dr. Torques laughed at this, which was rather strange. He muttered something about ‘Lucid’ and an ‘Incorporation’ . . . whatever that meant.

Even now as I write this, I can’t quite remember what he looked like. I could have sworn he had long, curly red hair, but at the same time, I’m positive he had short black hair with grey stripes in them. Though, like I said, it's his eyes that draw me in.

He’s quite odd to be honest, but he’s nice and quite enjoyable to talk to. 

Day Seven

25 May 1886

I’ve spent a week here now, and have gotten into routine quite well. Wake up at eight, breakfast at nine, lunch at twelve, dinner at five, and lights out at seven. In between those hours, I entertain myself with random things like card games or chatting. 

I sometimes see Dr. Torques outside of our talks, in the halls or sitting outside. Though, when I call out to him, the other doctors give me strange glances. I don’t mind though, as I always enjoy seeing his smile and wave.

I mentioned Dr. Torques to Annabelle who looked startled when I mentioned him. Apparently, he is overseeing her as well. She says she dreams of him often. He’ll always be there, occasionally joining her and the blind man. 

She isn’t sure about him. She doesn’t like his smile. She says it's too wide, and how she hates seeing his skin crack and bleed. 

I don’t understand, as I haven’t ever seen that, and whenever I look at his cheeks, they are void of any marks. 

He asked me what I liked to do. I told him I like to read. When he asked what my favorite book was, I replied with Alice in Wonderland. He looked pleased with my answer, saying it was one of his favorites as well.

Though, he did mention how much of a delight Alice was when he met her. I didn’t understand what he meant, but didn’t think much of it. As we were discussing the plot, he also mentioned that when I get out I should try jumping down a rabbit hole and see where it leads. I thought that was quite funny, but he looked serious when he told me. I am convinced that he might actually believe rabbit holes lead to another world . . . a Wonderland or something of that ilk. 

We finished our conversation and he left before a nurse came to give me my pills and let me out for a couple hours to wander the halls. 

When I came back to my room, there was a copy of Alice in Wonderland on my pillow. 

Day 8

26 May 1886

Annabelle has fallen into one of her comas, so I am afraid I have no one but Dr. Torques to speak to. He asked if I liked the book, and I thanked him quite a bit. It's one of those little things that manage to keep the boredom at bay. 

“Really?” he had said, crossing his arms. “You get bored here?”

“Yeah,” I had replied. 

He shook his head, giving a small chuckle. “Surprising. I've never been bored here at all. I suppose it might be a difference between our situations. Still . . . I guess human minds are quite simple if you get bored that easily.”

Afterwards we just talked a bit. He suspects that I can probably go free at the end of this month once he gets an okay from his superiors.

I can’t wait to get out of here.

Day 31

17 June 1886

Today is the big day! I’m going to meet with Dr. Torques’s bosses and prove that I’m sane enough to return home! Wish me luck!

* * *

When I entered, they didn’t seem to be expecting me. I tried to explain why I was there, but they have told me time and time again that Dr. Torques does not at all exist! They looked rather frightened though when I mentioned the name . . . as if they heard it before? But they didn’t tell me a thing! 

Could I actually be going crazy? Is Dr. Torques a figment of my imagination? But how? He gave me all those gifts! Where else could they have come from?

Day 32

18 June 1886

I haven’t seen Annabelle in a while. The nurses said that she is resting, but it has been far too long! Annabelle’s coma periods only seem to happen every three days, but it has been at least a week! 

It seems Dr. Torques has also taken an absence. He hasn’t come at all . . . but there’s no way he isn’t real!

Day 35

21 June 1886

The laundry today was not the normal load. Multiple people have reported either bloodstains or just very strange patterned clothes. Mine was a circus outfit of some sort!

The nurses quickly came to collect all the odd clothing and replaced it, but they all seemed on edge. 

What is going on?

Day 45

1 July 1886

There was a hidden message in the Alice and Wonderland book. I noticed it because I cut my finger on the page about the mad hatter, and when the blood smeared across the pages, a letter appeared. I went through the whole book and came up with the phrase Medicus qui Detorquet! 

I don’t speak Latin, but I know Annabelle does . . . did . . . 

Her room is now empty. 

And I know she wasn’t checked out. 

Dr. Torques came today. When I asked him who he was, what he wanted, he just laughed until my head hurt. 

He told me to wait. 

I was almost ready. 

Day 60

15 July 1886

His bones with snap while the eyes will roll

His skin will peel as he flicks his wrists

The colors will change and soon appears the rabbit hole

Smile at the Doctor who Twists

Day ?

There is a rabbit hole in my room.

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