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monimccoythings · 3 months ago

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Like Father Like Daughter

I have so many WIPs from different fandoms and this Wolverine fic ideas just keep coming and coming... I appreciate so much the support I've been shown, I don't look at the notes because it shows in activity that is 99+ and I get anxious lol. Logan has a nasty temper but is really fun to write.

Living with an ill-tempered man like Logan wasn't always easy, but living with him and his variant's teenaged clone turned adopted daughter who had the exact same temper as him, was proving to be quite the challenge.

As anybody would expect, those two were constantly butting heads at everything, be it food, curfews, or, just as they were doing at this very moment, Laura's choices in fashion.

The girl had chosen some shorts and black leggings, with black sneakers, and a crop top that was way too short for an old fashioned man like Logan to approve, to hang out with some friends she had made at her new high school. Barely sparing a glance at her outfit, Logan had snapped at her to go back to her room and change into something more appropiate, which Laura took it as well as any teenage girl that had spent part of her earliest teen years dressing and doing what she pleased in the void would. And then the screaming match had begun.

"NO CHILD OF MINE IS GOING OUT DRESSED UP LIKE THAT."

"IT'S JUST A SHIRT, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL."

You let out a quiet sigh. You knew daughters were supposed to rebel against their parents, but having two superpowered beings at each other's throats at all times wasn't the great idea the universe thought it was. You knew they loved each other deeply and would kill for each other, but sometimes they were way too much alike.

"Sweetie, listen to Daddy on this one, he just wants what's best for you."

How the fuck had Wade gotten in and embraced your husband's muscular arm without anyone noticing. With a low growl, Logan pushed him away. Laura did not seem too pleased with him either.

"FUCK OFF, YOU AREN'T MY MOM!"

Wade covered his mouth and let out a shocked gasp that honestly was worthy of an Oscar nomination. You quietly thanked him for his presence, maybe that would help relieve the tension in the room. Laura turned at you, imploringly.

"Tell him he's just overreacting. Please."

You sneakily looked at your husband, who seemed to be red with rage, his lips pulled back in a feral snarl that clearly was a display of dominance, knuckles pressed against the wooden table so tightly that you started to fear for the well being of the furniture. His muscles were so tense he looked like he was going to burst out of his shirt, by the way the veins in his neck were swelling.

You didn't want to disrespect his authority over his daughter, but you also didn't want to make Laura direct her hate at you; you loved that girl and her attitude as if she was your own child. It seemed they needed some consesus, and you guessed you'd have to be once again the bigger person here.

"Laura, your father is just worried about you. If you want to wear that top, then you'd have to put a jacket on. And we want you back home by eleven."

"But my friends-" She started to protest, but you quickly cut her off.

"Eleven and that's more than your father was willing to give you."

She bit her lip, considering her options. With a huff, she stomped back towards her room to get that jacket. She slammed the front door on the way back out, not even bothering to say goodbye. Teenagers.

The living room got quiet. Really quiet. You could only hear Wade munching on some popcorn he had gotten from God knows where. Logan was fuming, not at you of course, but at his unruly adoptive daughter's behavior. He stormed towards your shared bedroom and slammed the door close hard enough, it made the pictures on the wall tremble. You sighed.

Well that went well.

It wasn't until half an hour later that he cooled off and decided to come out. You were cleaning up some dishes while Wade sat on the couch watching some cartoons. It made you smile, it was like you had two children running around.

You felt your husband's stubble and nose nuzzle against the back of your neck, as he embraced you from behind, his massive hands covering the entire expanse of your fourth month pregnant belly. "Feeling better now?" You casually asked.

His teeth nipped at the skin on your neck leaving a burning feeling that only his tongue could soothe. "I don't know what to do with her, she seems to fight against everything I do or say." His deep rumbling voice sent shivers running down your spine.

"Deep down she knows you love her. And she loves you too, even if she is too 'cool' to admit it." He let out a bitter chuckle, massaging your belly while leaning his chin on your shoulder, his sideburns made you tickle.

"I just hope this little one doesn't give us that much trouble."

"Hey, however they come out, we will love them the same, because they are a part of our family." He kissed your cheek and you leaned back into his embrace.

"Yes, our family." You let out a laugh at the sudden extra weight on your backs. Looks like Wade had gotten tired of the tv and had decided to join you into your little embrace.

"Wade..." Logan started warningly, carefully prying his hands away from your belly.

*SNIKT*

#wolverine #wolverine x reader #logan howlett #logan x reader #logan howlett x reader #james logan howlett #deadpool and wolverine #x men

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chocolattefeverdreams · 9 months ago

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Helloooo <33333 it's 2:05 am where I live and currently I Am Drunk so I randomly decided to make a post on

My sins according to the Catholic Church

So the church I'm forced to go to holds confessions like a regular church. And we are given this questionnaire to fill out 😦😦😦😦

So let's see....

Responsibilities to god:

1. Have I gone to Mass on Sunday or have I rebelled and been stubborn about going to Mass?

Ans: Ooh. Well I technically go to Mass on Friday bc where I live Sunday is a weekday! And I fucking hate going. I worked out an arrangement with my parents about skipping once every 2 weeks! So yeah, I HAVE been stubborn about not going.

2. Did I participate in Mass or did I daydream?

Ans: I daydream. Maladaptive daydreaming stuff.

3. Have I prayed everyday? Have I read the Bible? Have I been rebellious to God and his commands?

Ans: no, no yes

4. Have I misused the name of God by swearing and cursing?

Have I told the Father that I love him for creating me and making me his son/daughter?

Ans: Jesus Fucking Christ. No, I have not told sky daddy anything.

5. Have I thanked Jesus for becoming man, dying for my sin and rising to give me eternal life?

Ans: nope ❤️

6.Have I asked the Holy Spirit to help me conquer sin and temptation and to be obedient to God’s commands?

Ans: Why should I?

Responsibilities to others and myself:

1. Have I been rebellious, disobedient or disrespectful to my parents, teachers and those in authority over me?

Ans: yea

2. Have I lied to or deceived my parents or others?

Ans: me almost every day amirite

3. Have I been arrogant and stubborn?

Ans: *nods head yes*

4. Have I talked back to my parents or those in authority?

Ans: No shit, like c'mon sometimes they're plain wrong

5. Have I gotten angry or nurtured and held grudges and resentments? Have I refused to forgive others? Have I cultivated hatred?

Ans: Yes. I have cultivated hatred. Why does this sound like such a villain thing. People are annoying and confusing sometimes.

6. Have I engaged in immoral fantasies?

Ans: I, as a girl, have dreamt of having a wife someday. So yes, in the eyes of the church.

7. Have I read bad books/ literature or watched bad films?

Ans: Yes I read queer books. I read fanfiction and smut. I read The Darkening Age which I'm pretty sure is bad for the church. I also like watching queer people in films. Cry about it.

8. Have I gossiped about others?

Ans: Yep, I have, but I mostly prefer listening, it's not like I spill other people's secrets anyway so.

9. Have I slandered anyone? Have I told lies about others? Have I mocked or made fun of others?

Ans: Yes, I have. I mock people whose opinion I think is wrong. I mock the Church on a weekly basis.

10. Have I lied or cheated? Have I stolen anything? Have I paid it back?

Ans: Yeah I've lied. A lot to my parents. I have also cheated on tests before.

11. Have I been selfish or spiteful toward others? Have I been jealous?

Ans: I'm jealous a lot. It's a normal emotion. I've also been selfish many times too, but that has stopped mostly.

12. Have I participated in anything that is of the occult: ouija boards, fortune tellers, séances, channeling, astrology?

Ans: .....witchcraft is literally my spirituality, even my hardcore Christian parents believe astrology.

13. Have I been patient, kind gentle and self-controlled?

Ans: Lmao. I hope I'm kinder. But self-control....patience.... Well of I had self control I wouldn't be actually drunk rn.

14. When my conscience told me to do something good, did I do it or did I ignore it?

Ans: I honestly don't know the answer to this one.

#if any of the christians tell me to stop making fun of their religion #i will drink your blood #ex christian #ex catholic #agnostic

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sokkastyles · 3 years ago

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In your last post you talked a lot about how Zuko respects Iroh. Could you give some examples of that? Because I'm feeling like Zuko doesn't really respect anyone, he (understandably) has an ego and thinks he's above everyone, even if he's working on

It is such a shame that Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005) was cancelled after two episodes.

Lol, now that I've got that out of my system, I'm gonna assume you aren't just a troll and treat this like you actually want a serious answer, because it gives me an opportunity to meta about Zuko and Iroh's relationship.

I would say that the Zuko we are introduced to has a pretty big ego, yeah, and thinks he's above everyone else. He's incredibly disrespectful to most everyone he meets, including his long-suffering uncle. When I started the show I knew through cultural osmosis that Zuko would get redeemed, and from the first episode I was like "alright, I'm ready to see how the show is gonna make me like this asshole." I especially did have a negative reaction to the way he treats Iroh in the beginning, because Iroh is one of the first characters I loved. I also was sympathetic to Iroh because I'm an adult, and an adult who works with kids. If any of my students said to me some of the stuff that Zuko says to Iroh I'd be like, yeah, okay, detention for you young man.

It's also pretty clear from early on though that Zuko's ego comes from a deep insecurity and low self-esteem. That doesn't make the things he does any better, and yes he is incredibly disrespectful to Iroh, especially when Iroh contradicts him about his mission. That's also related to his deep insecurity and trauma surrounding his father, of course, because Zuko needs to believe that he can win back his father's acceptance to cope with what his father did to him, but that doesn't excuse it.

He says some incredibly nasty things to Iroh. In the first episode we see him respond angrily when Iroh won't teach him more advanced firebending, and Zuko responds, as he does several times, by trying to imitate his father's brand of coercion and intimidation. Iroh is like, not impressed, and he puts up with a lot of crap from Zuko but he also doesn't let it get to him because he's a responsible adult and he wants to support Zuko in the way he can. Which also means telling him off sometimes because dude.

Zuko thinks Iroh is lazy and a failure, and resents the fact that Iroh is keeping him from what he says he is "more than ready" for, and tries to bully Iroh when he doesn't get his way, but then we see in the third episode, "The Southern Air Temple," Zuko's fight with Zhao. We see that for all Zuko's complaining about Iroh's teaching, he does what Iroh taught him to do, he sticks to his basics, and he wins. Iroh says that Zuko is honorable and we see that Zuko appreciates Iroh's support. It's also implied by the way Zhao mentions humiliating Zuko in front of his uncle that Zuko wants Iroh to be proud of him, that it's obvious to Zhao how close they are.

Another example of the show letting us know that Zuko cares more about his uncle than he lets on is when he threatens to leave Iroh behind in "Winter Solstice" but then comes back for him to find him gone, and goes out of his way to search for him, even setting aside his hunt for Aang. Zuko fights the earthbenders to save Iroh and Iroh compliments his form, to which Zuko says Iroh taught him well. This episode does a lot to develop Zuko as a character and his relationship with Iroh because not only do we see that Zuko cares for his uncle, but that, contrary to his rudeness and dismissiveness in episode one, Zuko does respect Iroh as a teacher and a bender.

There's a lot of examples like this where Zuko says one thing but does another, because Zuko is a character who, at the beginning of the story, carries a lot of cognitive dissonance and guards his real feelings about things. His relationship with Iroh is an example. This isn't very surprising because it's pretty common in child psychology. Especially with kids who have been abused, they will rebel against an authority figure and push back in any way they can to see if they can find a breaking point. Iroh's endlessly patient and supportive but solid and firm presence is something Zuko is not used to and doesn't know how to deal with. But it's very clear that Zuko relies on Iroh as a father and mentor, even when Zuko doesn't realize it yet.

"The Avatar State" in another episode that shows how much Zuko relies on Iroh. At the beginning of the episode Zuko is sitting apart and it's implied that he's not happy with Iroh relaxing and getting a massage, but Zuko also opens up to Iroh about his feelings about his father. Zuko also is dismissive and rude to Iroh again in this episode, criticizing Iroh for collecting shells and also insulting Iroh when Iroh contradicts him about going with Azula, but then Zuko is happy when Iroh goes with him to Azula's ship, and we get that flash of the image of Ozai with his hand on Zuko's shoulder. This tells us that Zuko sees Iroh as the kind of mentor figure that he wishes his father were, even if, again, Zuko doesn't quite realize this yet. There are many other examples like this where Zuko is frustrated by not getting Iroh's approval on something because he wants Iroh to be proud of him. Like when he steals the teapot and gives it to Iroh and Iroh is not interested in stolen items. Zuko's clearly hurt by not having Iroh's approval, which is a big part of why he left Iroh, and Iroh knows that Zuko is struggling to find himself but also still needs his support.

Then you have "Bitter Work," the lightning bending, and Zuko's look of total admiration when Iroh is bending lightning and teaching Zuko a move that he invented himself. Like I said before, it's clear that Zuko respects Iroh as a powerful bender. This is also echoed in that scene in the book two finale when Iroh is about to breathe fire and Zuko has this look of "wow my uncle is going to beat you so bad this is going to be great!"

There's also a lot of little stuff in the Ba Sing Se arc that show that Zuko respects Iroh and values him as a mentor figure. He lets Iroh do his hair for his date with Jin! It looks terrible! Zuko has no idea how to behave on a date so he's like um, uncle said to give you this coupon! Look how smart my uncle is! Of course the culmination of that arc is Zuko's fever and his awakening which gives him a renewed respect for Iroh, and he actually makes an effort to show Iroh how much he values him. He still betrays Iroh in Ba Sing Se but it's not the "I hate you and you smell!" thing that the play portrays it as. One of the reasons Zuko was so confused there was because he felt like his uncle was telling him contradictory things, and he couldn't reconcile his uncle's wisdom with what he'd been taught to believe by Ozai.

But it's finally losing Iroh as that pillar of support that makes Zuko truly realize how much he does value his uncle. It still takes him a while to get there, and he again pushes back against Iroh when Iroh won't talk to him in prison and blames him for his own internal turmoil. But when he does finally get there, it's such a slap in the face to Ozai that Zuko on the Day of Black Sun tells him to his face that Iroh is his real father, that Zuko is going to fall to his knees and beg for Iroh's forgiveness, because Zuko has realized that Iroh is the one who really deserves his respect. Not only does Zuko tell Ozai that he, in fact, did not teach him anything about respect, but the respect Ozai tried to get from his son through cruelty and control is something Zuko will freely give to Iroh.

Then Zuko spends the next several episodes constantly talking about how great Iroh is, how much he misses him, how good he is at making tea and telling jokes, how wise he is, and what an ass he, Zuko, had been to him. He follows Iroh's advice and humbles himself because Iroh always said he didn't think things through enough, he works hard to make himself into someone his uncle would be proud of. Then when he does meet Iroh again he asks for forgiveness, but he says that even if Iroh won't forgive him he would try to make it up to him. He's completely humbled himself and it's so satisfying because it's the fulfilment of their relationship arc, and you can feel the love and respect that these two characters have for each other. And it's directly meant to contrast with what Ozai said about respect, because Ozai is full of shit.

And then Zuko just like automatically assumes that Iroh will be the Fire Lord and Iroh's like "Zuko did you forget that you are the crown prince?" And Zuko, bless his heart, is like "but I made so many mistakes."

I'm sorry, but if you're gonna keep arguing that Zuko, at this point, still "thinks he's above everyone else" then you are just being willfully obtuse.

Not to mention the fact that Zuko's crowning moment as Fire Lord is him giving a speech about how he wants to serve others, to heal the world, and even the applause and praise that he, in the beginning, wanted from others is something he doesn't accept. He tells everyone that Aang is the real hero. And Aang is a hero but like, Zuko is a hero, too, by showing heroic qualities like being selfless and humble and caring towards others. And then his last scene is not him as Fire Lord, but serving tea to everyone dressed in Earth Kingdom clothes.

And who does he serve tea to first? Uncle.

#zuko #iroh #atla meta #ozai

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lessonsfrommadamexmas · 4 years ago

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EREN JAEGER AND THE ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6

First of all, to my followers, please excuse me. This account isn’t for SNK but it’s the one I have and I wanted to write this.

Secondly, I hope this post finds the fandom lol. But if you’re expecting this to be another meta to judge Eren’s actions, don’t waste your time. The enneagram is a tool of understanding, not judgement, and I just wanted to share one thing I appreciate immensely about Eren’s characterization.

Well, why don’t we start with chapter 137? There, Zeke states that life’s purpose is to propagate and it’s core fear is to be extinguished. In other words, from the moment we are born, our organisms need to survive. As humans, we are on our own: suddenly, you gotta breathe on your own; the food is no longer provided. Everything is scary. A baby cries because everything is hard and far away and something in their biology tells them to keep fighting to survive.

Now, onto a more spiritual approach. In El Eneagrama de la Sociedad, Claudio Naranjo says that several cultures have their own ideas and tales regarding a disconnection from a primordial state of wholeness. Once born, we become individuals and are separated from the Universe, as if we’re no longer in sync, and something is lost in the process. How can we survive? Our defense mechanisms start with that question. We need love, we need resources and we need to stand our ground in this cruel, but beautiful world. This, on the enneagram, is called “childhood trauma”.

What I want to do in this post is to break down Eren’s character development through the lens of the enneagram, but for that, I need to give you an overview of the system. It is cruel and beautiful, just like the SNK world. It sees us with care and understanding but it also exposes the harsh truths we don’t want to see.

The enneagram, first and foremost, is an ancient symbol, a figure of nine points connected within a circle. There’s a lot of fascinating history to it, but I’m gonna focus on what matters to this post. The enneagram is a personality system that encompasses nine essences of the Universe, and once our childhood trauma sinks in, we attach to one type which defines our worldview. Here’s how each enneatype manifests itself:

Type 1, the reformer: this person seeks to not make mistakes. They are principled and meticulous in everything they do but highly critical of themselves and others.

Type 2, the helper: this person seeks to be needed. They are proud of their independence and helpfulness but believe they can only receive love if they give first.

Type 3, the achiever: this person seeks to be worthy. They are motivated and ambitious but shape themselves around what is expected of them.

Type 4, the individualist: this person seeks to build their identity. They are sensitive and creative but reject the ordinary and focus on what is harder to reach.

Type 5, the investigator: this person seeks to be a specialist. They are perceptive and curious but withhold themselves and their resources and worry they’re never prepared.

Type 6, the loyalist: we’ll talk about it in a moment.

Type 7, the enthusiast: this person seeks to avoid pain. They are joyful and spontaneous but afraid of facing hardships and being swallowed by negativity and sadness.

Type 8, the leader: this person seeks to be strong. They are fierce and protective but don’t allow themselves any vulnerability and need to be on top.

Type 9, the peacemaker: this person seeks to be in peace. They’re kind and their inner stability is unshakable, but have a hard time asserting themselves.

So what does it mean to be a type 6?

Some of you might not believe if I told you that Eren is moved by fear. But that’s what it is. The type 6 represents fear itself. It’s our search for safety and support. The person who is a type 6 has disconnected from their inner guide and they don’t believe they have the same capability to make decisions as everyone else. That is more of an unconscious state, which manifests through an overly alert stance. Sixes are always on the lookout for threats and danger, their minds work predicting things that can go wrong, so they can be prepared. In other words, the type 6 fears how imprevisible life is, because they truly don’t find in themselves the compass to the answers they need “in this very moment”. They have to be one step ahead and they have to find outside structures for support, people in whom to trust and who’ll give them the guidelines and sense of balance. Fellowship and loyalty are essential to the type 6 as they look for reassurance in their concerns.

In Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery (1996), Don Richard Riso has described nine levels of development for the enneatypes. They are the path from our healthy, healed state where we’re closer to wholeness again (Level 1) down to our most broken state where we’ve abandoned ourselves (Level 9).

When we start Attack on Titan, Eren is on Level 6. Here’s what Riso says:

“In its innocent forms, counterphobia is well employed by people to master their fears — for example, children who are afraid of the dark might purposefully go to a dark room to overcome their fear.”

Eren, too, wanted to overcome his fear since he was a kid. He wanted to go outside and face those faceless titans. He wanted people around him to be prepared, but since the Garrison was incompetent and lazy, he needed to be prepared. Grisha seems to be Eren’s first authority figure. From what we know, Grisha allowed Eren to have his own thoughts and didn’t impose anything on him, which is a kind of reassurance. Thus, with his father, Eren felt more understood.

Carla, on the other hand, wished for Eren’s immediate safety and cared about him living a quiet life. But that also means she couldn’t understand his concerns, and the type 6 interprets that demeanor as vulnerability — his mother is more exposed to the threat. If the type 6 is a room where nobody is vigilant, the only option they see is to step up and become hypervigilant.

This relation to an authority is very specific for the type 6 as they search for people and systems in whom to rely on. Since the Garrison aren’t the most reliable soldiers around, Eren turns to the Survey Corps. That section of the military consists of the rebels, those who want to explore the unknown, understand the titans and figure out the best way to fight the enemy. The SC wants to be free, so they become Eren’s next “authority figure”.

Riso also says that the type 6 in Level 6 has a more aggressive stance and wants to prove to others that he isn’t indecisive and can’t be pushed around.

“They blame and berate whatever threatens them. They become rebellious… and are desperate to latch onto a position or stance that will make them feel stronger and dispel their feelings of inferiority.”

The type 6 feels inferior because they feel lost inside. Eren, too, knows that the threat lurking behind those walls is much bigger than him and a single human doesn’t stand a chance. And he berates people around him for not seeing what he sees, or for disrespecting his “heroes”.

Eren will be back to Level 6 later, embodying other aspects of it, but let’s talk about the moment he joins the army.

At this point, Eren reaches the stable position he has been eager for. He is part of a group and working towards his goals, he feels more confident because he’s preparing for the next attack. He has climbed to Level 4:

“The security which groups and institutions provide far exceeds the strength of any individual members...”

As we know, Eren sees his mission to eradicate all titans also as a social responsibility. The type 6 can easily fall into “us versus them” mentality where they are putting effort into something and will trust only the people who understand the importance of it. Eren’s bickering with Jean, as well as his admiration for Reiner starts from there.

“And even within their own group, average Sixes make it their business to find out who is pulling the weight and who is not... If others are not loyal or committed, it not only makes them angry, it threatens them.”

Eren talks over and over about how he’s going to join the suicide squad, to the point people start making fun of him. But he is testing everyone’s commitment to the cause of “fighting titans” and he finds people like Jean, who only really want their safe life, as well as Reiner, who is dedicated and understands him immediately. Reiner becomes his new “authority figure”: whenever Eren’s failing, Reiner is there to understand him, to offer help and to remind him of why he’s there.

“The loyalty of average Sixes for the people with whom they have identified is almost without bounds. They find it extremely difficult to break their emotional bonds, even should they desire to do so… Their love may, in time, turn to hatred but never to indifference.”

That one speaks for itself. It’s exactly how Eren felt upon RBA’s betrayal. He’s in total denial about Annie, while for Reiner/Berthold all he has left is rage.

Choosing who to trust is part of the type 6 identity. All of their beliefs, all their inner world is shaken if they are betrayed, because the network they build is how they find a safe space for themselves in the world and how they orient themselves. Annie was Eren’s parameter of fighter, Reiner was Eren’s parameter of leadership. The first backstab is too hard for him to process, we see it all unfold. He can’t admit she’s a traitor, and he doesn’t even have the will to transform and fight her.

The second one, however, is embraced somewhat faster and he’s even able to contain himself and play along. But it doesn’t change how deeply it affected him and how vengeful he gets. Years later, that hatred would dissipate, but never to indifference — Eren still feels a need for some closure between them.

I got ahead of myself on the timeline, so I’m going to rewind to the moment Eren joins the Survey Corps, which is his childhood dream. Erwin is his main authority figure now and you see that, even though Erwin locked him up, he trusts the guy. As Don Riso explains, the type 6 on Level 4 plays by the rules of his group because he strongly believes in those rules and they bring comfort to their minds. In reality, the SC doesn’t really know what they’re doing. Erwin himself doesn’t know how he’s gonna cross the walls and find out the truth. But Eren is devoted to them. Their cause is his cause and he knows how hard it is but what matters is they’re trying. Besides, they embrace him. They want to reach the basement and want to defend him on the court and want to investigate/use his titan power. Thus, for Eren, the SC is the most solid and welcoming place to be. He’ll do whatever they want from him.

However, Eren was about to find out that things were far from glorious out there. Although the Survey Corps work under strict “plans” that soldiers are supposed to follow blindly, Eren can’t just watch people being sacrificed to protect him. Especially when he has enough power to act in a more significant way than those individual humans. But how much control does he have over his own power? Eren can’t answer that, and he feels immensely conflicted as soldiers continue to drop dead.

In that moment, Levi could’ve forced him to follow his orders, and perhaps that would’ve eased his mind when he chose not to transform. But the captain is a different kind of leader than Erwin, and he challenges Eren instead:

And I really appreciate how fitting that is to the type 6 conflit. It’s very difficult for them to accept it, sometimes there simply isn’t a clear path, sometimes it is okay to trust yourself and act on your own. But this is what Eren’s thinking:

That didn’t turn out very well, did it? At the end of the expedition, Eren is forced to admit that the SC don’t have all the answers and that all his power and training can’t always keep everyone safe. He’s once again reminded of that after activating the Coordinate — not even the power to control titans can avoid sacrifices.

Ideally, the type 6 can only reach the safety they seek once they allow themselves to move in the chaos with the courage to face it step by step, instead of predicting it. This may sound easy for others but not for them, especially if they are inserted in a reality where the cost of a mistake is lives.

So we get to the Uprising arc. It starts with the Survey Corps planning the retake of Wall Maria while they put Eren through hardening experiments. Time is not on their side and Eren’s determined to go beyond his limits during the tests.

“They consequently try to further strengthen their ‘social security’ systems by working harder to be accepted and approved by their allies and authorities… Others wonder if they resent the workloads and pressures they seem to be under, yet Sixes seem eager to fulfill their obligations and duties...”

Eren’s entire world would fall apart again once he’s kidnapped by Rod Reiss and discovers the truth of his father’s sin. Like I said earlier, Grisha was one of Eren’s authority figures, and even though he was absent, the basement key and the promised truth kept son and father connected. Wherever Grisha was, Eren could still count on the answers he’d left behind.

That is, until he is hit by a trainwreck of a revelation that his father killed an entire family and sacrificed himself to pass on the titans to him. Eren’s left completely lost, he no longer knows what to think of himself, of the world, of his father.

He falls from Level 4 to Level 7:

“Sixes become trapped in an unhealthy pattern of self-disparagement and massive insecurity which reinforces feelings of inferiority and worthlessness, a marked deterioration from the indecision and evasiveness we saw [before].”

This shift to a much more confused and self-loathing state doesn’t last long because Eren has his friend’s support for now. Historia chooses to see his worth and let him live. Levi once again challenges him to make his own decision, and Eren manages to save the day.

As Eren becomes aware of those destructive feelings, he tries to get rid of them by “fighting” himself, in an attempt to put himself back up.

He realizes he isn’t alone and he doesn’t have to do everything on his own, people around him are also strong enough to stand up for themselves. That helps him return to a more average stage and it could have been the beginning of his growth...

Well, if only life wouldn’t have a surprise waiting for him at every corner.

I hope you’re being able to follow and understand that we all have ups and downs in life. The levels of development represent exactly that, so it is common to find yourself in the same stage in different periods of your life. Nevertheless, after Eren learns the truth about the world and sees his future memories, it all goes downhill for him, no turning back anymore.

Here is what Riso comments on the ambivalence of the type 6 on Level 5:

“Sixes begin to follow the narrow path between the expectations of their allies and authorities and their need to resist having any further demands placed on them.”

Eren is overwhelmed by the view of the outside world. He has experienced his father’s memories first hand and it’s nothing like what he expected. No one around him has the same perspective. A lot of self-awareness and self-doubt emerge from the future memories he saw through Historia. Riso explains that on Level 5 the person starts to become more worried about how their allies feel about them.

“They become skeptical of new views and ideas, feeling that they have already put a lot of effort into understanding the perspectives and approaches they already know.”

Eren went from “I HATE TITANS ALL TITANS ARE MY ENEMIES DESTROY ‘EM ALL” to “titans are my people and they haven’t chosen this horrible outcome”. And that’s A LOT to process when you wrapped your life around that initial idea. But things are changing even faster, and his friends are talking about how the enemy could be reached out too. This thought needs to coexist in Eren with the clear image he has of the enemy, one that only he has accessed. Add to that how Eren was kept away from the Marleyan prisoners as Paradis also feared some kind of betrayal. As long as there’s people out there against them, he can’t so easily rest.

Who knows at what point Eren returns to Level 6. The time skip is covered very loosely. But probably when he is feeling so lost that he actually comes to Historia to vent.

“As in other types, to be functioning in this Level or lower usually indicates that there were extremely dysfunctional elements in the child’s environment.”

Self-explanatory. It’s even hard to talk about Level 6 because it is a point where Sixes start to overthink threats that aren’t that big, but in Eren’s case, the threat is 100% REAL and there’s a world isolating them and wishing for his people to die and throwing gigantic creatures at them. No big deal at all.

Eren turns to the people who actually understand the urgency he feels. Floch is eager to follow him, while Zeke and Yelena have an actual plan. Eren says he’s acting out of his own decisions, and he sure is, but he has also left it in Zeke’s hands to set the course. At this point, it no longer is a positive thing for the type 6 to have reassurance instead of a grounding support, it’ll only leave them trapped in the current mentality.

What would be more appropriate would be a balance between rejection…

…and full acceptance.

(By the way, I can’t even know where Historia stands, since she let him do his thing, but I’m still using her here because of how immediate her reaction was, which could lead Eren to think he can’t risk telling anyone else. Unhealthy Sixes are just that paranoid.)

Zeke could have been Eren’s new “authority figure“ if their goals were the same. But more and more the only thing Eren is starting to rely on are the future memories.

Riso talks about how a violent environment would lead to violent actions and “they end up using the same aggressive tactics on others”. And I can draw a parallel with how Eren has been facing titans for so long and watched them take people from him, that he just feels aggression arise whenever he thinks of all the injustice he has witnessed. Same would happen later on, when he sees Ymir’s memories and finally decides to unleash this pain on the world.

“It’s hard for Sixes to work for something. Instead, their energies are galvanized by being against people and things.”

Despite being highly conflicted and problematic, Eren so far has waited. It’s too hard at this point to fully engage with those dreams, but he has watched things unfold and allowed the Survey Corps to do their stuff and try to contact the outside world. On Level 7, the type 6 is just going through the day with little hope. When the SC reaches Marley and Eren meets the boy of his memories, he can no longer escape from facing himself.

“Tearful and obsequious, they are disgusted with themselves for not having been tough enough to stand on their own two feet, to defend themselves, to be independent.”

Not only Eren, but Paradis as a whole, have been unable to be independent in a much bigger world, or this is how he sees it after Kyiomi monopolizes the resources and the pro-Eldians group rejects the island. Finally, Eren recognizes in himself the person who would be capable of trampling the kid he currently wants to save, and that leaves him disgusted.

“They do not necessarily deceive others maliciously, but to escape punishment or abandonment. They believe they may be able to repair the damage they have caused...”

What Riso is saying here is that the type 6 feel the need to hide (themselves) so their loved ones won’t abandon them. And again, in Eren’s case, he has a damn good reason to think his loved ones might not be super happy if he said he was going to destroy the whole world. Let’s not forget they are the people who counted on him to save the world this whole time, and he is the person several people have been sacrificed for.

All this pressure has brought him this low, but Eren reaches rock bottom when he allows himself to admit he wished for it all to be destroyed. Now, he can no longer face his family (as he would tell Falco) and he has little faith in himself.

Again, Eren’s paranoias aren’t so far from reality because there is, indeed, a world against them, and that keeps feeding into his anxiety. Paradis’s progress is little and the future is uncertain. When the type 6 reaches Level 9, they can no longer get out of this spiral. They know it’s only a matter of time until the threat comes to them. So they call the threat upon themselves.

Eren allowed himself to go as far as understanding his enemies and accepting that they’re the same, but with the declaration of war, he can’t wait anymore.

I already told you the reason: the type 6 needs to be able to predict. That’s the very core of their beings, their minds seek to control events. Striking first is their final attempt to make sure they won’t be taken by surprise. Ultimately, they are lost and desperate to find support again. Here’s what Riso says about the type 6 on Level 9:

“They may drop out, abasing themselves as vagrants and living in skid row conditions, thus allowing their health and minds to deteriorate to the point of no return.”

It almost feels like Isayama has read this book, I swear to God. Yeah, that’s word by word what Eren does. He goes to enemy territory, injures himself and throws himself in war. Despite resisting for so long to a new perspective of his enemies, Eren allows himself to see them with his own eyes. All because he’s desperate to understand his enemy, desperate to understand himself (and what would lead to his decision) and desperate to run away from his friends. He is ashamed of choosing those future memories as his new authority figure, get it? They are the most certain thing in his life now. As much as he waited and as much as the SC tried, they don’t have any guaranteed future and it’s just too hard for the type 6, especially unhealthy Sixes, to wait. It’s impossible.

Remember I said that Sixes want to feel understood? Well, I think Eren feels understood, to some degree, when he’s among those broken soldiers. They are relatable, more than anyone else.

“Neurotic Sixes bring disaster of some sort upon themselves not to end their relationship with authority figures, but to reestablish a protective one. [...] It is also important to notice that neurotic Sixes are masochist not because they take pleasure in suffering as such, but because they hope their suffering will bring someone to their side who’ll save them… as if to say, ‘Punish me, because I’ve been bad. Then you can love me again.’”

In the mind of the unhealthy type 6, if he can’t find the answers, he can’t be there for his allies. If he fails his allies, he doesn’t deserve their support. But even when he feels he doesn’t deserve it and feels they won’t forgive him, he desperately needs it — the type 6 doesn’t know how to live without support. He is completely aware of his cowardice, he may unleash his despair in innocent people, he seeks punishment for his behavior and hopes for someone to end his pain.

“Unhealthy Sixes are self-defeating persons who are their worst enemies. If they persist in their masochist behavior, neurotic Sixes will drive away everyone on whom they depend. They will be abandoned and alone, the very things they most fear.”

Eren pushed everyone away, but deep down he waited for them to come to his rescue. He knew he was a lost cause, but still couldn’t let go of what he saw as a compromise, a duty to them. His completely cruel and extreme actions are, in enneagram terms, his way to not leave his allies adrift. But aren’t all his actions for his own freedom? I don’t think so, not entirely. There’s a reason the type 6 has been named “the loyalist” — they always, always see themselves as part of a group. And in the end, he saw himself in Ymir, someone who was trapped and waiting to be rescued, understood. Don Riso says the worst part of coming this low is how much Sixes hurt others while they hurt themselves, both because they want to harm everyone who doesn’t understand and to show people the worst in themselves; they want to punish and be punished at same the time.

That is what I wanted to break down — Eren’s inner process. Yes, the type 6 is an ambivalent, contradicting personality type, precisely because that’s how they feel inside. Other enneagram types don’t escape from their own personal conflicts, that’s also important to point out. The enneagram does not define integrity, people capable of causing great harm exist in all types and no one from type 6 is fated to destroying the world — just in case that isn’t obvious.

This post is heavy, I know. One of the things I love about SNK are the emotions it evokes and how human characters are. I’m so thankful to have followed Eren’s fascinating journey. He has never hit me as a one-dimensional character as some people claim. To me, Eren is not a chad, he’s not a monster, either. He’s just human.

I’m thankful for this fandom as well. We’re a total mess but the monthly wait would’ve killed me without the crazy theories and the heated discussions.

#snk 137 #snk 138 #snk 139 #Eren Jaeger analysis #attack on titan manga and anime #enneagram #LONG post #eren jaeger #snk analysis

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fandomoverdrive · 4 years ago

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Okay I just need to go on a rant about Whirl because I love him he might just be the most tragic character in the entirety of MTMTE and considering the candidates that’s a pretty hard position to cinch. Some of this is gonna have mentions re: self harm, suicidal tendencies/ideation, overall bad coping mechanisms etc so if that’s not your cuppa please scroll on.

This gets long so here’s the obligatory read more.

Let’s write “tragic” in flickering neon letters with the fact that Whirl’s first appearance in MTMTE, dropping the titular “how to say goodbye and mean it,” is a personal soliloquy delivered as he’s in the midst of constructing his own funeral pyre. Whirl is lost, directionless, trapped and unwilling to be such in a postwar environment. But how did we get here?

Whirl is without a doubt a driven character. In the prewar functionist society, he had no qualms switching careers, risks be damned. Whether he’s always had a knack for disobeying authority or was simply driven by passion or both isn’t elaborated on, but he’s got a hell of a hardheaded streak that’s impossible to ignore. When destroying his business wasn’t enough to deter him from further rebellion, the Senate was happy to turn him into an empuratee and destroy not only the opportunity but the capability of continuing to rebel by pursuing his passion. This is what I’d personally consider the big ‘whump’ moment, less so the use and abuse as a pawn that followed but the point of trauma at which we begin to see Whirl’s psyche begin to twist.

From this point forward we see Whirl in and out of prison, let loose when he can be useful to someone else’s ploy and otherwise incarcerated for a buffet of offenses. No longer able to be constructive and having little if any control of his life, Whirl becomes aggressively destructive. In response to having everything he aspired toward ripped away from him, permanently, he builds a mental defense of bitterness and anger and paves over his black hole of self worth with a veneer of outright assholery. It’s here that he bares his metaphorical fangs and pushes - with gusto - anyone who might even suggest they’re trying to appeal to reason or get close to him as an individual.

It’s hard to imagine, given even subtly different circumstances, that Whirl would not side with the decepticons for the war. While he’s single-handedly responsible for radicalizing Megatron towards violence, the ‘con intent at the start of revolution - that movement in society should be possible and a caste system based on alt mode is unethical - aligns quite nicely with what he’d already aspired to do with his life. His conscription to the side of the autobots is just another instance in which his autonomy is cast aside.

Whirl is a tool. Whirl had a passion for watchmaking, but now he can’t, so his new passion is violence. Whirl is a gun and someone else has always told him where to point and all he’s ever been given for his cooperation is the blame of pulling the trigger. Whirl is an asshole, Whirl is unpredictable, Whirl isn’t a mech anybody would ever think twice about saving - the answer would always be no. Whirl wants to die. Whirl only wants to die on his own terms and he’ll be damned if he’s going to keel over under the orders of someone he doesn’t respect, for a cause he doesn’t believe in.

A few years of this sort of treatment would be enough to drive anyone insane, let alone the millennia of warfare he suffered through. Worse yet is the one time he found a group, a team that was known for the unorthodox and taking on the big messy challenges, the Wreckers kicked him out. Whirl was too much for the mechs that were too much and there’s no way in hell that doesn’t still sting.

That’s how we get here:

Whirl defends himself through isolation from others. He can’t be hurt by others if he never lets them close enough to be hurt by. In a hypersocial society, he has no close long-term friends, he is one of the few with no roommate aboard the Lost Light. He made himself as unpalatable as possible. He’s crass, he’s volatile, he makes it clear with every word and action that Whirl is first, you don’t mean anything, I’d leave you for dead in an instant..... But that’s not true, is it?

Whirl is shown being completely, dramatically, self-destructively caring throughout the series. Between risking his life for the scraplet colony disguised as a protoform, participating in an untested spark jumpstart to save a life, coming up with a plan to rejuvenate Tailgate’s spark, and performing a spark transplant surgery on Megatron - without whom the world would never have been even a fraction as cruel to Whirl as it had been - Whirl is far from the most selfish character in the series. It’s in his nature, however, to deny such, to the point where he more than likely believes his own narrative that he’s irredeemable, self-absorbed, invincible, degenerate, and neither capable nor deserving of close interpersonal relationships.

It’s also how we get here:

Whirl is one of the characters that we more frequently see in a state of disrepair. He fights passionately and recklessly, with no regard whatsoever to whether or not he makes it out of a scrum with all his limbs intact. Injuries like these, and those that he experiences elsewhere in the series, would put other mechs out of commission through pain alone, but as long as Whirl is conscious he doesn’t stop until the fight is over.

As depressing as it is to think that Whirl is simply at this point accustomed to extraordinary pain, it’s even moreso to think about the more likely concept that he wants to be hurt. Whirl doesn’t have control of a lot that happens to him, but do you know what he does have control of? Who he chooses to shit-talk. More often than not we see Whirl being blatantly disrespectful of his superiors, and some of the more dangerous mechs aboard the LL. While obviously his intent when insulting Ultra Magnus isn’t to start a fight, harping on Drift (and subsequently getting cold clocked) or Cyclonus is a little more self-destructive in nature.

While Whirl has been in therapy, we see during the encounter with Fort Max that he’d shared very little of what he actually considered traumatic with Rung. With no material to work with, Rung wouldn’t have been able to give Whirl instructions or advice as far as a healthy coping mechanism, and so I’m firmly of the belief that Whirl goes out of his way to get himself hurt as a way to have a vague sense of control.

On his actions and guilt:

Whirl is immensely guilty. When he’s overcharged, he admits that everything feels like his fault - and unfortunately a lot is. Whirl believes he’s the bad guy, and he’s willing to take the fall for actions that others might find immoral. There’s a lot Whirl has done that he’ll likely never forgive himself for, even if he garnered the ability to start forgiving himself for the small things, but the character he’s created for himself has been part of him for so long that it’s near impossible to tell where to draw the line between caricature and his genuine self.

At this point in time, Whirl is not capable of improving himself without external assistance.

He has accepted (however wrongfully) that he is not cared about, trusted, wanted, or respected.

His assumptions become self-fulfilling prophecy as he - consciously or not - works to perpetuate his image. Whirl is a dick, he’s unfazed by anything anyone says about him, if someone is insulting him they’re probably right, why bother arguing unless it’s with the intent to get in a fight? He doesn’t pay attention to others, he doesn’t pay attention to himself, nothing that anybody could say could possibly make a difference.

Right? Right?

Wrong. Part of what makes Whirl so heart-wrenchingly tragic is that it is so incredibly clear that nobody has ever told him he mattered. Rodimus throws out what could be interpreted as a snide remark, “even the crazy bastard makes a difference,” and that aside sticks with him. Millions of years of warfare, of being a tool to use, an expendable soldier, a rabid dog to throw at their enemies, and not once did someone turn around and say he was anything good. He’s been thanked for saving lives, for contributions, for individual acts, but his reaction to Rodimus really cements in my mind that nobody has ever said that he, that Whirl, was important.

Whirl is a broken character. He’s subsumed by his own self-hatred that he perpetuates and justifies with a mask of cruel indifference and aggressively abrasive snark. He’s alone, by what he thinks is his own choice but is really a horribly misguided attempt to keep himself safe. He’s got no potential for growth unless someone wants to force their way through his defenses in order to help him find the line between who he is and who he pretends to be in order to keep from being hurt. Whirl is terrified of abandonment, and guarantees that nobody will ever be able to leave him by never letting them come close to begin with. He’s not a good person, he’s violent and callous and has little regard for the consequences of his actions, but he is that way because of the life he was forced to lead. He falls into consistent patterns because he craves control, even if those patterns are self destructive. It’s proof of the little growth he was allowed during the course of MTMTE/LL that after their quest was over, he didn’t attempt suicide again but instead got into the revolving door of incarceration for petty offenses.

All in all, Whirl is one of the saddest characters in any media I’ve consumed and please someone get this despicable bastard helicopter a new therapist and a stiff drink

#maccadam #whirl #mtmte whirl #character analysis #transformers

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batfamspews · 3 years ago

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Romance tropes are good and all, but you know what relationship trope is real juicy? Mentor/student. Now before you roll your eyes and brush me off, I’m not talking about the run-of-the-mill Ben Kanobi and Luke Skywalker mentor/student relationship where a wise old man teaches a curious youngster a skill set that makes them priceless. While the student might be frustrated with or appreciative to the mentor, the emotional connection there is pretty shallow. When the mentor dies we shrug it off, the student cries a little bit, everyone forgets them and there’s next to no emotional impact.

No, I’m talking about the relationship between a rebellious, rude teenager deemed worthless by society. Im talking about a straight rod, middle aged mentor with a religious zeal for honor and who has probably never broken a single rule in their life (Bonus points if they had a legalistic, obedience centered job such as a police officer or military veteran). Hear me out here.

Student is a messed up, broken kid either lacking authority or with crappy parental figures that don’t care about them. They’re a rebel and a troublemaker by choice and whether they’re proud of it or not they’re not going to change any time soon. Finally society gets to a point where they’re not going to tolerate student’s crap any longer and are ready to make an example out of them. That’s where mentor comes in. The clean-cut mentor sees the world as a system of values where everything is either right or wrong and there are no gray areas. They are not only the most respected person in society but one of the most adored. In other words, they are the exact opposite of student. When student faces harsh charges for their actions, mentor takes pity on them, resolving that if only someone had taught the teenager the difference between right and wrong they would be a loyal, upstanding citizen. Suddenly mentor is enlightened. What if THEY were the one to take student under their wing and change the course of their life? What a noble cause! Confident in their ability as a teacher, mentor offers to take student under their care and make it their personal responsibility to indoctrinate them. Student is reluctant to accept this because it means losing all of their previous freedom to an unsuspecting, ignorant mentor, but they have no choice. Student knows one thing for sure though. Mentor is going to regret this decision every moment they’re together.

Fast forward and nothing is going according mentor’s plan at all. Student is going out of their way to cause trouble and be disrespectful, and when mentor tries to teach them anything they blatantly ignore them, making it very clear that they don’t care. Mentor slowly begins to realize that they don’t know the first thing about raising children and have never once in their whole life felt so discouraged and clueless. The pressure builds up, until finally after a yelling argument with the kid the mentor breaks and tells them they wish they had never tried to help the student in in the first place. However, what hurts mentor the most is student’s response. “Figures. Nobody’s ever wanted me. I wouldn’t expect you to either.” The matter-of-fact apathy in student’s demeanor kills the mentor. They excuse themselves.

This confirms to student that they aren’t wanted and though they’re not surprised or even disappointed, for some reason their heart feels heavy and they decide to make things easy on the mentor. Later on that night, mentor is summoned. Student had gone behind their back and committed a heinous crime. To the rest of the community the solution is clear. They pat the mentor on the back and assure them that they did everything they could, that just by trying to redeem the lost soul they had proven to be one of the most heroic members of society. However, student has proven themselves impossible to correct and therefore must be dealt with rashly (e.g. they could be hanged for their crimes, sent to a juvenile prison, an asylum, a slave in the coal mines, just whatever works best for the fictional universe they’re in). What it all boils down to is that mentor doesn’t just have the right to bring the student to justice, but they should. It’s not just the fair choice, but it’s the wise, honorable, right choice. It’s the perfect situation for them. Give up the student that’s caused them nothing but pain and be hailed a hero.

They can’t do it. For the first time in their life, mentor is tempted to go against their better judgement, their honor and the wise counsel of their peers and make an emotional decision. Student was wrong when they said that nobody wanted them. Mentor wants them, though they can’t quite explain why.

Mentor is told they’re making a mistake, that their choice is foolish, that they’re just prolonging students overdue judgement, but they don’t care. They have made their decision. Mentor will recompense for student’s actions and though it will cost them both their honor and their physical possessions, they will take student back as their own and won’t give up trying to get through to them. Student is in shock. They had never dreamed that someone would sacrifice so much for a person who didn’t deserve it- specifically them. For the first time in their life they felt wanted. Protected. Heck, even loved.

Student doesn’t change over night, but they’re clearly more respectful towards mentor, more enamored by them and more receptive of their teaching. They no longer see mentor as their slaveholder, but as their protector and friend. Mentor doesn’t go easy on them and student does not hesitate to complain about the workload, but they begin to work with a new zeal because now they have a motive to work. They want to make mentor proud. For the first time they realize they’re desperately starved for mentor’s approval, so they work hard , begin to copy their habits, even go out of their way to do things without being asked. They never talk about their feelings, but they want to be close to mentor. For the first time they know what it feels like to be loved, and they want to return that love in every way possible.

Mentor has no idea what possessed student to change, but nothing in the world could have made them happier. They begin to recognize the student’s longing for approval and it occurs to them how much they want to pay it forth. Mentor knows what it’s like to do great things and be praised for their deeds, but they have never been more proud of anything than the scruffy little public nuisance that lived in their house. Student wasn’t just their responsibility, they became their joy. They were proud enough to call them their son/daughter.

Of course student doesn’t become perfect overnight. Clearly they revert to what they know and cause trouble multiple other times. However, the disappointment master expresses to them when they’re caught is enough to make them realize that they’re former way of living is no longer appealing to them. They value their mentor’s opinion too much and nothing hurts more than their disapproval.

This is just a sample of a mentor student relationship that could work in a variety of different storylines. It doesn’t need to be the main focus of the story (i.e. if the theme is action and adventure, then the student and mentor might be forced to go on a dangerous expedition, or the student might grow up and leave the mentor, or either the student or mentor is taken and the other has to go save them, something like that). What’s great about this relationship trope is that it creates a solid base for an impactful story. It might explain where the student gets their ideals, why they’re so strongly committed to their mission, or why the mentor is willing to give up everything they hold true to in order to save one specific person. If done correctly, imagine how painful it would be to the readers if either the mentor or student had to sacrifice themselves for the other. Imagine the arguments. Imagine them crying because they’re sick with worry for the other one.

The thing that sets this relationship apart from the Obi Wan and Luke mentor/student trope is the focus is on the relationship and not either person’s abilities or personal value. Both the mentor and student have to give up aspects of themselves, but they end up with something they value much more. It’s what’s special about both characters. I believe the lack of this relational foundation in most movies and books is why viewers lack interest in the main character’s goal when they’re looking for someone they care about. If the relationship is the backbone of the character’s motives, then it needs to be the backbone of the audience’s reason to cheer the character on.

What sets this apart from romance tropes (other than romance tropes being ridiculously overused) is that this is a relationship trope almost everyone can relate to. Not everybody has fallen in love, but everyone has had an authority figure in their life and many have had authority over someone else. The audience can relate to the characters, and the relationship becomes more real to them. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with a romance trope when it’s DONE RIGHT, in my personal opinion, a well executed mentor/student trope tops all else. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for middle aged, honor-centered, FLAWED military veterans and rebel teen nuisances becoming each other’s everything. You can judge for yourself.

#story #writing #mentorstudent #mentor #student #relationship tropes #relationship #fictional characters #character design #tropes #action and adventure #parent child relationship #favorite tropes

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loki-hargreeves · 5 years ago

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Kylo Ren x Reader [SMUT] - On The Throne

Warnings: filthy smut [!!18+!!] it’s definitely a bit on the darker side, force choking, oral sex (m!receiving), riding, size!kink, dirty talk, over-stimulation, bruising, crying (just from pleasure, love), cock-warming Word Count: 4,4K Summary: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren wants to see you in the throne room. You suspect that he is going to punish you for your mistake, or worse, that he thinks you’re a spy. Your suspicions aren’t so far off, though you get a punishment you had previously only dreamt of. Author’s Note: I was thirsty, so this happened. Please enjoy! <3

THIRD POV

“Commander Y/N,” A robotic voice pulled Y/N out of her thoughts. She had been working on her station, deep in thought, as a squad of Stormtroopers had approached her. The moment she heard her title and name, she put her work on pause and turned to face the troopers. Whenever she had six Stormtroopers by her side, it meant something serious was going on and she didn’t dare disrespect them by making them wait.

“Yes?”

“Supreme leader Kylo Ren wants to see you in the throne room. Now.”

Supreme leader Kylo Ren

Hearing his name phrased like that made her heart leap to her throat. Ever since Kylo Ren had become the supreme leader, things had changed in the final order. The dark Prince was even more stern and determined than before, which many had thought was impossible. He was angry, yes, but there was something incredibly hot about it. Y/N knew it was shameful, but she liked it – a lot. She wondered what Kylo wanted to see her about. Moments later, she realized what it must’ve been about, and she frowned.

“Of course,” Y/N muttered and left her station, walking between the Stormtroopers. They were all armed and they seemed to keep an eye on her, almost as if they had a reason to watch out for her. Their odd behavior made her feel even more nervous about this meeting. It couldn’t have been good if she was escorted in the throne room like a criminal. “What is this about?” Y/N tried to make small talk with the Stormtroopers to ease her nerves. After all, she was a commander. It would be disrespectful of them to blatantly ignore her words.

To her surprise, none of them replied to her. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t like it. Someone must’ve painted red over her name. The very people that would listen to her words without doubt were now treating her like she had disgraced the entire order.

They arrived behind the large doors that led to the throne room. By now, Y/N felt warm underneath her uniform. Her nerves were like daggers twisting underneath her skin. If Kylo Ren had any reason to doubt her loyalty, he would surely kill her.

The guards opened the door and revealed a large, red hall. In the middle of it was the iron throne and of course, the supreme leader. Kylo Ren sat on the throne comfortable as the knights of Ren stood around him protectively. All eyes were on Y/N as she was gently pushed forward to walk even closer to Ren, who looked at her with a piercing gaze, making her feel vulnerable. They kept eye-contact even when she sunk down on her knee, kneeling before her Supreme leader.

The Stormtroopers didn’t enter the room. Instead, they stayed in the corridor as the doors were closed, leaving Y/N’s back. She felt scared, even though she knew she hadn’t done anything too bad. Only a mistake during their latest mission which eventually cost them valuable information, but it wasn’t entirely her fault either. Nothing that should get her into serious trouble.

Then again, Kylo Ren was unpredictable.

“Commander,” Kylo finally broke the silence, never tearing his dark brown eyes from her skin. His voice echoed lightly in the room. He could sense how nervous she was. It was almost ridiculous. “Do you know why I called you here?”

Did he have any idea what he was doing to her? Y/N didn’t like to admit it, but when he spoke with such authority, it did things to her body. It was stupid, but she liked it a little too much. “I suspect it’s about my miscalculation during the latest mission, sir.”

“Well yes, that too,” Kylo shrugged, almost taunting her by now. That too? What did he mean by that? Did he make her that nervous on purpose? Did he enjoy seeing how she was shaking within her own skin?

Y/N raised her gaze from the floor, and she narrowed her eyebrows, confusion spreading on her face. “What do you mean, sir?”

The knights of Ren were dead silent. It was almost creepy how they stood there, watching, without making a sound. It only added to the intensity of the situation.

“As you know, we have a spy among us,” Kylo got to the point.

He couldn’t seriously imply that she was the spy. Y/N had been exceptionally loyal to him, even when many others in the order doubted him. She didn’t understand how anyone could possibly doubt her.

Kylo continued, “and your little ‘mistake’ was useful to the rebels. It almost looks like you did it to help them escape.”

Y/N’s cheeks were burning from embarrassment and she wanted to hide her face, but that would surely look suspicious. Yes, the mistake wasn’t anything to be proud of, but it was humiliating to be accused of helping the enemy. “Sir, I’m truly sorry for my wrongdoings, but I assure you, I am not the spy you’re looking for!”

“That’s exactly what a spy would say,” Kylo sighed. He sounded bored, but then again, his voice was always blunt and emotionless. It could mean anything, and it surely stressed her out further. What was she supposed to say?

Tears stung the corners of her eyes. Y/N was good at holding them back, but the sting was there whenever she was under immense pressure. By gritting her teeth together, she regained her composure. She needed to prove her innocence, one way or another. “How can I prove your doubts otherwise?” Y/N wanted to know.

Kylo knew it wasn’t her. He felt that she was genuinely afraid of the false accusations, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t drag it out a little longer. He liked her presence. He wanted to see how far she was ready to go to prove she was innocent. “What are you willing to do?” Kylo wondered.

His question made her eyes widen slightly. Kylo noticed the change in her expression and he almost smirked as he realized where her mind went. Dirty girl…

“I’ll do anything, sir. I can even hunt for the spy! Just give me a chance, I’ll prove you wrong, s-sir!” She offered seriously. Kylo looked at her frightened expression and he knew if he cared more, he would’ve felt sorry for her. But he knew she was more than just afraid. She was much naughtier than he thought and now that Kylo knew, he couldn’t simply forget about it.

All of a sudden, Kylo Ren tilted his head, looking at one of the knights, Ushar, and he nodded. Just like that, the Knights stood up straight and marched towards the entrance, leaving the Supreme leader alone with the commander. Their heavy steps echoed in the hall and disappeared as the doors were shut once again. Somehow, it made Y/N even more afraid. Was this it? Was Kylo Ren going to kill her? She wished it wasn’t that severe, but she felt a punishment coming. She also felt a knot forming in her stomach which she hated. Why did the situation turn her on? She was risking losing it all!

“I know you’re not the spy, commander. But I can not excuse your ‘miscalculation’. I’d say it’s your greatest mistake by far,” Kylo revealed the truth to her and even though he was speaking to her in a dismissive tone, it made relief wash across her entire being. Thank stars, she thought.

“I’m so sorry, sir. I’ll make up for it, I promise!”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Kylo said smoothly, sending shivers down her spine. Even when he spoke with such a monotone voice, it became clear that there was a sexual undertone to his words. They made Y/N feel vulnerable before him, as if he somehow knew about her darkest desires. “Come closer,” Kylo demanded her.

Y/N couldn’t believe what was going on. Truly, she didn’t know what was happening, but her heart was racing. It was only her and the supreme leader in the rich hall. He sat upon his throne and looked down on her which made her feel dirty. Slowly, she stood up from the polished floor and walked towards Ren, unsure how close he wanted her. With every step she took, the more nervous she became. Her heart was pounding in her chest and the heat between her legs grew worse.

She waited for him to tell her to stop when she neared the steps to the throne – but he didn’t. “Am I close enough?” Y/N dared to ask him. She noticed how much quieter her voice was now that it was only them and they were only a few feet away from each other. Surely, he could hear her heartbeat by now.

Kylo extended his arm and all of a sudden, Y/N felt an invisible grip around her throat, cutting her airways. Her eyes widened with fear and her hands reached her throat, trying to grab the force that was choking her which obviously didn’t work. Her feet let go of the ground and the force made her entire body levitate in front of the supreme leader. Her legs went numb from fright as Kylo pulled her body closer until his physical hand was around her delicate neck. Once he was the one holding her, he lifted the force which allowed her to breathe – which she did. Her feet rested on the highest step and she stood right in front of him. “Now you’re close enough.”

What was happening?! Y/N’s mind ran in circles as she stood there with Kylo Ren’s gloved hand wrapped around her neck. She didn’t even fight it. In fact, what had just happened made her stomach clench from lust. Gosh, Kylo Ren knew. There was no way he was oblivious to how horny she was because of him.

“You have an awfully dirty mind, Y/N,” Kylo referred to her by her name. It gave an illusion of the moment being even more intimate than it already was. If anyone was there to see them, surely the entire order would talk about it. She was ashamed as she heard that, but she was also excited. By now, Y/N wanted him so bad that she couldn’t possibly give into her shame fully.

“What are you going to do about it, sir?” Y/N wondered, somehow daring to ask him that. She didn’t know where the boost of confidence came from, but she liked it. And so did Kylo.

He gripped her neck tighter and pushed her down, so she fell on her knees by him. Then his hand travelled to her hair, pulling it out from the bun so he could grab her tighter. From that angle, Y/N suddenly noticed a bulge hiding underneath his black robes. Holy fuck, she thought as her eyes froze to stare at Kylo Ren’s huge bulge. Knowing exactly where this was headed blew Y/N’s mind away. It felt like she was on cloud nine and her mouth began to water at the thought of tasting Kylo. It was so wrong, so unprofessional but it excited her more than anything ever before.

“Show me just how sorry you are,” Kylo encouraged her to touch him. By now, he was almost in pain because of how hard he was. It had been a while since he had taken care of his feral needs. His eyes had been on Y/N for a while and he had wanted her for a long time now. It was finally happening and surely, it would ease him from the stress he carried.

“With pleasure, sir,” Y/N’s eyes darkened with lust as her hands immediately began to tear his clothes away from around his cock. Seeing how excited she was to suck his cock made Kylo smirk a little bit. She really was desperate, wasn’t she? Finally, she had pushed his robes and pants aside, revealing his huge cock that was pulsing with need. Pre-cum was leaking from his tip and he could hardly sit there and wait. Luckily, Y/N didn’t waste much time as she finally grabbed his shaft and brought his red tip to her lips. The moment her lips closed around his tip, Kylo’s grip on her tightened and he let out a low, animalistic growl.

Encouraged further by his reaction, Y/N pulled her lips away for a moment. She pressed her tongue at the base of his cock and followed a prominent vein as she licked up his length, until she reached his tip again. Before she took him into her mouth again, she spat on his cock and ran her hand up and down his shaft, feeling how his cock hardened even more under her touch. She felt every pulsing vein and ridge underneath her hands. As she worked on his huge shaft with both her hands, she took his tip into her mouth again and tasted his salty pre-cum on her tongue. Kylo was huge, easily the biggest cock she had ever seen before. Just the thought of feeling him inside her made her wetter and even more happy to suck him off. This was definitely not what she had expected, but she wasn’t complaining.

“That’s it,” Kylo grunted as “good girl, sucking my cock like a slut,” Kylo snarled dirtily. His words did magic on her. Y/N almost moaned as she heard that. Something about the way he spoke to her turned her on furthermore. She wanted to be his good girl, his little slut. His.

Y/N took more of him into her mouth, bobbing her head up and down while looking directly into his darkened eyes. She hollowed her cheeks around him and made Kylo’s muscles tense. He pushed his hips up to push himself deeper into her throat, making her moan around his cock. If she kept that up for much longer, he knew he’d cum soon. As tempting as it sounded, he didn’t want to cum just yet. He wanted to spill his seed deep inside her walls instead.

Kylo pulled her head away from his cock, stopping her before he could come. Without saying a word, Y/N knew what was about to happen. The look in Kylo’s eyes said it all. Almost instinctively, she knew what to do. Kylo let go of her hair as she stood up, her hands working on unbuttoning the buttons of her uniform jacket.

As she undressed herself right in front of him, Kylo slowly jerked himself and kept his gaze on her body. He knew she looked amazing and that her figure was astonishing but seeing her naked was different – even better. Her clothes scattered on the floor and eventually she stood before him in her underwear only. She unclasped her bra and let it fall somewhere on the floor, revealing her perked nipples to Kylo. She loved how nude she felt in front of him, physically and emotionally. It’s like there wasn’t an aspect of her Kylo couldn’t stare right into and she loved that feeling.

“Fuck,” Kylo cursed underneath his breath. He couldn’t take the strip tease anymore. Instead of waiting for her to get rid of her black underwear, Kylo let go of his achingly hard cock and grabbed her underwear. He tore the thin material down her legs and then grabbed her hips, harshly pulling her body on his lap. Y/N lost her balance as Kylo pulled her so forcefully, so she had to grab his shoulders for support. His grip would surely leave bruises on her skin, but she didn’t mind that at all.

Her pussy was dripping wet and throbbing in sync with her pulse. She was more than ready to be fucked mercilessly, but nothing could have possibly prepared her for the monstrous size of Kylo’s cock. He pushed his tip inside her and then pulled her body down so he could sink deep inside her soft warm walls.

“Fuck- Kylo!” Y/N whined in pleasure and pain as his cock spread her walls like never before. By now, she was so enthralled by the pleasure that she completely forgot how to address him correctly and frankly, she didn’t care. She sank down on his cock and by the time she sat on his lap, it felt like he could easily tear her apart. If Kylo didn’t have such a death gaze on her, silently reminding her that he was in control, she would’ve rubbed her pulsing clit to ease some of the pain. They had barely gotten started and she was panting.

“So beautiful, all mine,” Kylo murmured deeply as he ran his hand down her neck, his fingers pressing over her pulse. She bit her lip as Kylo wrapped his hand around her throat again and pressed lightly, enough to make it harder to breathe but not impossible. His other hand held her waist tightly, keeping her pressed down on his cock. Her tits were right in front of his face, which gave him an idea. As she began to ride his enormous cock, Kylo slid his hand up her waist until he cupped her breast. It didn’t take long until his skilled fingers pinched her nipple painfully, making her moan loudly as she rode his cock. It was the most beautiful sound he had heard in a long time and he wanted to hear more. He wanted her to scream in pain and pleasure as his cock pierced her body.

“You’re so big!” Y/N whimpered in a haze. She felt like she was dreaming. Her walls hugged his cock so tightly and it felt amazing. Every roll of her hips made her whimper and moan.

“You’ve been such a bad girl. You know I could punish you in a much worse way for what you’ve done…” Kylo growled, reminding her of why she got herself in this situation. Not that it mattered, she seemed to enjoy it a lot, almost too much to be considered a punishment.

Y/N knew she should’ve been ashamed, but in that moment, it made her happy she had done that. If she hadn’t, she doubted she would’ve ended dup riding her Supreme leader’s massive cock on the throne itself. Nevertheless, she played along “I’m sorry I’ve been so b-bad…so sorry!”

Kylo squeezed around her neck and pulled her face right next to his. For a moment, he choked her so she couldn’t breathe, just long enough so he could whisper, “say it like you mean it, you little whore!” and then he eased his grip which made her gasp. He wasn’t playing around.

Y/N rolled her hips on his cock faster and rested her head in the crook of his neck. Kylo was wearing his robes and he must’ve been warm. She could smell his cologne through his clothes, and she felt the heat radiating from his body. It was driving her wild. “I’m so s-sorry! I promise I won’t let anything like it happen e-ever…again, ah!” Y/N tried to apologize between her moans.

Kylo bucked his hips to meet hers which made it much harder for her to speak. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as Kylo grabbed her hips with both hands and began to pound into her wetness. her breath got lost for a moment as the sudden force intensified the pleasure and pain she felt. Kylo felt how her walls squeezed around him tighter, revealing that she was close. He wasn’t done with her yet; she was going to be sorry.

Kylo pressed two of his fingers on her pulsing clit, pressing down harshly which made her body jolt in surprise. Without warning, he began to rub her needy clit while fucking deep into her, surely overwhelming her. “Is that what you wanted, huh? For your Supreme leader to fuck your dirty hole? To be treated like the little slut that you are?” Kylo growled to her, his voice deep and raspy from his own pleasure. He wanted to fuck her harder and to spill his seed into her womb.

His nasty words only made her moan into his neck. She struggled to form thoughts by now. But she knew she had to reply to him, “y-yes, sir!”

Gosh, she sounded so alluring. Y/N’s voice was weakened by the raw pleasure Kylo brought her and he could hear that his size was taking a toll on her. It took all her strength to keep herself together on his cock and to not fall apart. It filled Kylo with a sense of pride. Y/N tilted her head slightly and pressed her lips on Kylo’s neck, hoping to drown her moans by kissing his skin. She was convinced that all the Stormtroopers and the Knights of Ren could hear them, but she didn’t care. He was warm and his body, just like hers, was covered by a layer of sweat. Her cool lips felt amazing on his neck, so he didn’t stop her from kissing him. Somehow, she found his sensitive spot immediately.

Y/N could feel his cock all the way in her belly and his fingers that rubbed circles on her pearl made her mind spin. She was close and she wasn’t sure how long she could hold it.

Kylo could feel how close she was, “Just cum. I won’t stop until I do, so that’s on you,” Kylo warned her mercilessly. He knew that his touch would make her scream if he could overstimulate her. In fact, he wanted to do that. He wanted to pound into her walls after she reached her high, to tease her little clit which would surely be too much for her to handle. Kylo also knew that he was much stronger than her, so she couldn’t push him off even if she wanted to.

What he said felt like a threat. Y/N was afraid she couldn’t handle his tempting torture if she came now. Kylo was already pushing her body to the edge! “I can’t…” She cried against his neck, tears forming in her eyes.

Kylo knew that and he didn’t care.

“Oh yes you can!” He growled sternly and replaced his fingers with the force. As he fucked his cock into her dripping wet walls, he used the force to capture her clit and to rub circles on it. His huge hands regained the tight grip on her hips as he continued his torturous pace. Y/N rolled her hips against his, but her moves became sloppy as she struggled to keep her orgasm at bay. Then finally, she came.

“Kylo!” Y/N screamed his name in delight as her body collapsed against his. The work towards her orgasm had drained her of her energy, but it was worth it. Never before had she felt as euphoric as she did now, sitting on her Supreme leader’s lap with his cock deep in her pussy and the force rubbing her clit just the way she liked it.

“That’s right! Cum all over my cock, you little whore. Just like that!” Kylo groaned as he kept pounding into her, now chasing his own orgasm.

Tears rolled down her face as the pleasure quickly became too much. Y/N held onto Kylo’s body tightly almost for dear life as he continued to push her to an edge she had never reached before. Every thrust, every rub felt like another orgasm followed by another. Even something as simple as breathing became hard after a short while. “Kylo! I can’t! ‘S too much!” She screamed, knowing fully he wouldn’t stop. A part of her wanted to push him off, but the other part of her loved it and wanted him to continue until she was a screaming and crying mess underneath his touch.

“You should’ve kept that in mind when you were doing such a poor job!” Kylo used her mistake against her. He had to grit his teeth together as he was so close. Having her shaking body on his lap only pushed him closer to his edge. Ever so weakly, she tried to push herself off him, but it was useless. She didn’t really want to get off, but her body was working against her mind.

Her torture didn’t continue much longer as Kylo finally came. He pulled her as close as he could, burying his cock deep inside her as his cum leaked inside her. Kylo bit Y/N’s shoulder in order to silence his growl of pure and raw pleasure.

Y/N moaned with him, enjoying how it felt to be filled with Kylo’s cum. It made her feel so dirty, but also all his. The thought of surrendering herself completely to him was thrilling.

Instead of being pushed away as soon as he got what he wanted, Kylo kept her close. He didn’t want to pull out and frankly, Y/N didn’t want to leave.

Neither of them dared to speak a word as they came down their highs. Y/N enjoyed her place on his lap and the feeling of being full of his cock and cum. Although she feared it was a one-time thing, she wished to return to that feeling over and over again.

Eventually, Kylo tangled his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back just enough so he could kiss her. It wasn’t a loving kiss, but it was passionate and harsh. Their teeth nearly clashed by the force of it. Y/N didn’t fight it as Kylo pushed his tongue inside her mouth, asserting dominance even after he had split her in half by her pelvis.

As they broke the kiss, their eyes met. Because of his force gifts, Kylo could sense what she was feeling. The poor woman liked him way too much. Honestly, she should’ve probably hated him, but she didn’t. Kylo liked that about her. Instead of running away from trouble, she ran towards it. “You’re such a dirty girl. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”

“I have, sir. As I said, I won’t ever let that happen again,” Y/N repeated herself. Her words were drowsy, and she was tired. Fucking Kylo had drained her from all her energy. It was far too tempting to just lean against his chest and close her eyes, but she was afraid it would make him push her away. As much as it sucked, she had to remind herself that this was her punishment.

Perhaps the hardest thing wasn’t to take the fucking, but to walk away from him afterwards.

Author’s Note: Here go you! I hope you liked it :) Your feedback would be highly appreciated <3

#Kylo Ren #tw smut #tw dirty talk #tw sex #Kylo Ren fanfiction #Kylo Ren smut #Kylo Ren Imagine #Kylo Ren one-shot #kylo ren x reader #Kylo ren x you #Ben Solo smut #Star wars smut

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hihellogoodbyebruh · 4 years ago

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Is She the Reason? - Part 2

Part 1 Part 3

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Reader

Summary: When a heart breaks, no it don’t break even.

Warning(s): Aaaaangst, cussing, mentions of cheating, threats of violence :)

Word count: 1,824

Author’s Note: It’s finally here! I promise Imma give y’all some fun sexy Angel in my next fic. I had a couple people ask about a taglist so I guess I have one now. Lol. If anyone wants to be added, please let me know! As always questions, comments, and concerns are welcome. My inbox is open. Enjoy!

TAGLIST: @holland23567 @trulysuccubus

It had been almost a month since you’d seen Angel or even been to the clubhouse. Bishop stopped by to check on you and you steadfastly refused to give him any details about the breakup. He told you he’d fuck Angel up if you asked, but you didn’t want that. Plus Chucky had already told you about the punch and you didn’t want to bring anymore drama into the club. One of the many reasons you didn’t want to date anyone in the MC in the first place.

It had been a rough couple of weeks. For so long you alternated between being angry and sad and finally you were just beginning to feel tired of it all. Heartbreak was exhausting. You stayed mostly cooped up in your home. You blocked Angel from being able to call or text you and the one time he showed up at your doorstep you threatened to call your shotgun toting father if he didn’t leave.

Currently, you were at the diner enjoying a lunch date with your best friend who was on her lunch break from work. You were dressed in your usual casual cute wear, with your hair up in afro puffs. It was weirdly comforting to have that hairstyle in. It reminded you of your childhood and it made you feel good. You knew the risk of seeing Angel would be great and you’d be damned if you let him see you looking a mess. Your pride couldn’t handle that on top of everything else.

You probably shouldn’t have thought about him because there he was walking through the doors and heading straight towards you. All you could do was sigh loudly.

“Hey y/n, can I talk to you?” He asked, quietly. The usual swagger he had was muted and he seemed nervous. Never thought you’d see the day.

“You must be outta your mind. There are knives on this table. Tell me right now why I shouldn’t stab you where you stand.” Your best friend asked, though the question was rhetorical. You knew she felt betrayed and angry on your behalf, but also on hers. She felt bad that she had pushed you to talk to him all those years ago. He looked like he didn’t think she would do it but you spotted her hand inching towards a steak knife so you placed your hand over it first and slid it towards yourself.

“Your lunch break is practically over. You better head back to work before you’re late.” You told her, trying to stop a bloodbath from happening. Plus, deep down you knew you two needed to talk. You couldn’t avoid him forever.

It was her turn to sigh as she looked at the time. “You’re so lucky, fuckboi. Move.” She demanded, glaring at Angel and he took a step back as she slid out of the booth. “I’ll call you after my shift. Don’t give this pendejo too much of your time.” She kissed you on the cheek and gave him one more death glare before walking out.

Angel just quietly slid in the booth across from you and took her place. No one said anything as you both stared at each other before you couldn’t look at him any longer and averted your eyes. “What do you want?”

“I miss you.” He stated and you couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped you.

“You gotta be kidding me. Bye Angel.” You did not wanna hear that shit so you started to move out of the booth.

“Wait.” He grabbed your wrist. “Don’t leave...please.”

“When I said don’t touch me again,” You began, snatching your arm away. “I meant that. What could we possibly have to talk about? How you’re a liar and a cheater? A fucking coward that let me confront him on his bullshit because he couldn’t fess up to it. Is that what you wanna talk about?” The anger came back in full force as you remembered everything he did. All the lies he had to tell to keep the affair going. He let you feel like you were being paranoid when you knew something was off. He made you doubt yourself and that more than anything, pissed you all the way off. “You were fucking her right under my nose. I bet you couldn’t wait to get in her pants.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Oh it wasn’t? Please tell me what it was like then. On top of all of that, you have the audacity to tell me you love me?”

“I do love you.” He stubbornly repeated and before you could stop yourself your temper hit the roof.

You slammed your hand on the table hard enough that the dishes shook and loudly proclaimed, “You don’t love me! You don’t even love yourself, Reyes! Because if you did, you wouldn’t have ruined the best thing in your life.”

Your outburst garnered attention from other patrons and workers in the diner and you felt only slightly embarrassed. You talked yourself down in your mind and took several slow breaths. You really didn’t want to cause a scene but he just pressed your buttons. Your hand vaguely throbbed, but you ignored it wanting to hang on to your anger for longer.

Angel was silent for a moment. He wanted to actually think before he spoke. A rarity for him. “It really was just work at first. The Rebels needed so much help and I was out there for so long that we just got close. She was so passionate about the cause and selfless with the kids. I got caught up in a moment...in a feeling. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“And where does that leave me? Four years, Angel. I gave you four years of my life. I gave you all of me. I dealt with all the shit that came with being with you because I loved you and I wanted you. You get caught up in a moment and my life is changed forever, but I’m just supposed to forgive you?” You scoffed and shook your head at him. “And you weren’t just caught up in a moment. I saw you two. It’s not just a sexual thing. You can lie to me but don’t lie to yourself. I tried for so long to reach you and you gave me nothing back. I knew something was going on. I much would have preferred you just tell me.”

The truth of your words hit him and his chastised face said it all. “I’m sorry, querida-“ He began, but you sharply corrected him.

“Don’t call me that. Not anymore.”

“I’m sorry, y/n. So sorry. I was too ashamed to admit what was happening. And I thought I could keep it all separated, but...things didn’t work out that way.” The thing with Adelita spun out of control faster than he could control it.

A feeling of resignation was slowly coming over you. A part of you was still upset, but you’d already played this through your head a million times. Nothing he said could change anything. This conversation merely confirmed that you needed to move on. “You know what’s the worst part of all this? I told you in the beginning that this would happen. And I asked you not to let it. You promised me you wouldn’t and yet here we are. I knew you weren’t ready and I let you sweet talk me and I fell for you. Now you’re just another man to disappoint me.”

Angel’s eyes briefly closed as the weight of your words hit him hard again. He never wanted to be a disappointment in your life. He wanted to be responsible for your smiles and your joy. He just wanted to love you, but he didn’t do it the right way and he fucked it all up. He was so conflicted inside. He wished he had never agreed to help the rebels.

It felt good to tell him how much he hurt you, but there was nothing left for you to say. You weren’t completely healed and being around him for this long still stung. You’d never admit it, but there was still a side of you that wanted to be back in his arms. Only your stubbornness kept you in check. “Look, we're gonna eventually have to be around each other. I’m not giving up on my relationship with Bishop because of you. He’ll always be family. But let me tell you right now that we are not friends. I will tolerate you at best. Maybe one day we’ll be acquaintances but there is no guarantee. More than the heartbreak, it’s the disrespect and disloyalty that I can’t easily forgive. Or forget.”

He racked his mind for something to say back. The perfect thing that would bring you back to him or just make things better, but he didn’t know what to say. “I understand,” was all he could manage.

You dropped enough cash on the table to pay for lunch and generously tip your server before getting up. You had nothing else to say to him. You didn’t even bother with a goodbye. You just walked out of the diner and into the parking lot. As you walked to your car, an SUV pulled up next to you and you smiled at the person you saw step out.

Angel stayed seated and stared at the table. He was still hoping the right words would come to him. Maybe he just needed to give you more space. He still didn’t know what to do about Adelita, but deep inside he wasn’t ready to let you go either. He knew it wasn’t fair, but he couldn’t help his feelings. He lifted his head to watch you speed away in your car but when he did his stomach dropped at what he saw.

You were standing there talking with Nestor. He didn’t realize you two knew each other. Where did that fucker even come from? Whatever Nestor was saying brought out the first smile from you that Angel had seen in a long time. You reached out to pull his braid over his shoulder and Angel didn’t know that asshole well, but he didn’t seem like the type to just let anyone touch his hair. Nestor had the softest look on his face as he looked at you.

He pulled you into a hug and Angel watched as your body practically collapsed in his arms. Angel remembered when you’d do the same to him. When you trusted him enough to be vulnerable and show that tired side of you. Nestor’s hand settled on the back of your neck as he pulled you close. His hand massaged your neck and you just stood there with your face buried in his chest. It was enough to make Angel’s fists clench.

It hurt to watch you with someone else. Was this how you felt when you saw him with Adelita? Nestor’s interest was clear and even if you weren’t ready now, it was obvious one day you would be. He doubted Nestor would be a fool like him. Karma sure has a sense of humor.

#angel reyes #angel reyes x black!reader #angel reyes x reader #hhgbyebruh fics #is she the reason

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askaceattorney · 3 years ago

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Dear Anonymous,

Fine, whatever.

I honestly wasn’t sure what to make of this little punk the first time I saw him. He looked like your average aloof, unhappy young schoolboy with a general look of “whatever” on his face...and GLOWING HORNS!?

...which he uses to communicate with a Godzilla knockoff!?

The movie critic in me want to say something here, but...I’m kind of at a loss for words. Guess I’ll let the CinemaSins folks deal with that one.

Even odder is the fact that this crazy plot is introduced just after one Miles Edgeworth makes the decision to relinquish his badge in order to save a close friend. Not to mention he got a surprise call from an old acquaintance.

Apparently, the writers didn’t think that was suspenseful enough, so they decided to have a giant monster attack the town. Why in the--?

...Yeah, I know it's just a movie. That would’ve been one hilarious plot twist, though, come to think of it.

The supposed evidence of this attack is what brings former Prosecutor Edgeworth and his friends to the studio where the one and only John Marsh does his thing. What is his thing, exactly? According to Judge Courtney...

Sadly, like many famous movie stars, he’s not all that exciting (or pleasant) in person, as we discover when Edgeworth and company first meet him.

We learn two things about him right off the bat -- he’s a bratty kid with few manners, and...he drinks a lot of milk, apparently.

One has to wonder if he actually likes it that much, or if he hopes to get bigger and taller by drinking it. He’s apparently quite sensitive about his small stature, after all.

Despite being so small, however, he’s remarkably gutsy around adults.

Perhaps that’s something he gets from his father?

Aside from his guts and his fame, he doesn’t seem all that interesting, and doesn’t seem to have much to do with the murder of Zheng Fa’s President. But, if the Ace Attorney series has taught us anything, it’s that looks can be deceiving. The first thing we learn about him is both unexpected and...kind of hilarious.

The idea of a bratty kid like John being the son of the prim and proper Justine Courtney is just crazy enough to make you wonder if one of the writers thought, “Yeah... That’ll be the last thing they expect!” (And boy, were they right.)

It gets even better when we actually see them together, though.

It turns out the young rebel does have some respect for at least one authority figure -- his foster mother. Of course, when your mom has a gavel, a majestic-looking robe, and (presumably) a British accent, you’d have to be pretty foolish to disrespect her. And as every child knows, when your mom says your full name, that’s code for “You’re in big trouble.” Luckily, he’s smart enough to understand that much.

I believe I speak for a lot of people when I say I love how refreshing this moment is after all his smugness.

So, to sum up his personality, John Marsh is a talented kid, but not too pleasant to be around...unless his mom’s there. So, what about his involvement in the story?

He doesn’t seem to play much of a part in it until Shi-Long Lang makes an intriguing discovery.

The President of Zheng Fa apparently died on the same night John was rehearsing his lines for the Moozilla movie...and in roughly the same place. Coincidence? As already mentioned, John isn’t the nicest guy, but could he really have it in him to murder a foreign dignitary? That sounds pretty far-fetched, even for Ace Attorney.

After some of Edgeworth’s deducing, we eventually learn the truth of the matter, which, while tragic, isn’t quite as horrible as that.

John’s reluctance to tell the truth about what happened is actually quite understandable -- according to him, the President’s death was the result of his own negligence.

One can only imagine what it must be like to be responsible for a foreign President’s death simply by forgetting to turn something off. Accidents happen, of course, but it would still be enough to make anyone panic, especially someone so young. On top of that, he has no explanation for why the President was there in the first place, which makes things even more suspicious.

Luckily for him, he has a perceptive prosecutor there to uncover the whole truth.

A bouquet of Lion Lilies had been given to the President before his death, leaving some pollen on his suit when he was supposedly crushed by Moozilla’s head, but John felt the need to remove the crushed flowers from the scene for some reason. It’s here that we finally get a glimpse of his caring side.

Even if he won’t admit it, John cared enough about his mom to want to remove the evidence that would point to her being the President’s killer, event it meant casting suspicion on himself. Could he have simply done that out of panic, was it done as an act of love, or was it a mixture of both? We can only speculate on that, but I like to imagine his love for his mom was the bigger motivation for him.

If you say so, John.

Luck is on his side again when Edgeworth’s investigation leads him to a different culprit.

Thus the attention and suspicion are finally taken away from John, and he goes back to being (ironically) a background character. But then, with help from Franziska, Sebastian, Kay, and Little Thief, an even more earth-shattering truth is unearthed:

I don’t see the resemblance, but I’m not one to doubt Judge Courtney’s word. Through some crazy twist of fate, John’s biological mother, Amy, became a diplomat in Zheng Fa, met President Huang, and...well, you know the rest. Despite whatever feelings John has upon hearing this news, he shows some courage at this point in the story and decides to hear the whole truth.

Then, when proof positive arrives that he was, in fact, the President’s son, the knowledge of this combined with the President’s death -- which, for all he knew, was caused by John’s negligence -- and the fact that he didn’t even bother to tell him who he was, is finally too big a burden for him to handle.

Thank goodness there are mothers out there who know when and how to provide comfort.

But then, after some more deducing from Edgeworth, the past comes back to haunt everyone...including John.

It turns out the one responsible for killing the President -- the real President -- has been lurking in the shadows all along. Not surprisingly, John’s reaction to finding him isn’t very different from the way Kay reacted after finding her father’s killer.

Now we’re faced with the same question from before -- does John have it in him to kill someone?

That thought is put on hold until Edgeworth unmasks the mastermind behind the fake President’s murder. Interestingly enough, both he and John grew up without knowing who their fathers were.

Unlike Simon, however, John isn’t satisfied to forget or ignore or what happened to his father. And then, the moment of truth occurs...

John is suddenly given the opportunity to not only see his father’s killer face-to-face, but to avenge his death right then and there.

Such a temptation would be hard to resist for any grown adult, let alone a child. Not to mention there’s a clown there who describes revenge to him in a positive light.

But whether it’s because of his mother’s wisdom, his father’s noble heart, or just some calm, rational thinking on his part (or perhaps a combination of the three), John displays enough character to look at the situation differently.

Sure, John may be a jerk and a brat at times, but when it comes right down to it, he has the one thing no average criminal has or understands: the incredible ability to consider how his actions might affect others. Rather than thinking about what he might get from carrying out revenge, he instead considers how his mom, his friends, and his numerous fans might feel if he resorted to murder.

On top of this, he displays something else that sets him apart from a criminal -- the ability to resist taking justice into his own hands.

I don’t know about you, but my reaction to hearing this little punk say that was a lot like Kay’s:

Once again, thank heaven for mothers like Justine Courtney. She obviously taught him what it means to live justly, even in the face of overwhelming emotion.

So, for such a minor-seeming character, John ends up showing some of the greatest character development in the game, as well as the same courage and strength as his late father. Speaking of which, he even decides to do something in memory of his father, whom he never had the chance to meet.

It’s always wonderful to see someone who rarely shows emotion doing something out of love, isn’t it? It just goes to show that you can’t judge someone -- whether they’re a little punk or not -- by appearances.

-The Co-Mod

P. S. I’ve got a few more essays to complete before I can get to Shi-Long Lang, but he’s on my list, so hang tight! In the meantime, Mod Edgeworth has some things to say about...

KAY FARADAY

In every Ace Attorney game, every Protagonist always has to have an assistant or a Maya. Even while the later games did change the focus to be on a trio, each case always narrows down to two specific individuals working together on a single case together. One leads the trial, who is the character you played as, and the other one is your assistant. The only acceptation to this, of course, was the last part of Turnabout for Tomorrow where Phoenix led the case, Apollo was the assistant and Athena was the Defendant/Assistant number 2. Never mind that most real trials can have as many as five co-councils working on a single case from the Defense and Prosecution, but whatever. I suppose you can allow your suspension of disbelief.

In the case of Miles Edgeworth Investigations, the main protagonist, Miles Edgeworth, is often working with a single partner named Kay Faraday. From the beginning, the game makes hilarious excuses for why Miles Edgeworth needs to work with Kay and not Dick Gumshoe. Even Kay herself makes it blatantly clear that she is stealing Dick Gumshoe’s role as the assistant/sidekick before he gets dragged away from Miles Edgeworth by Shi Long Lang’s men.

To understand Kay Faraday’s role in Miles Edgeworth’s life, we first need to define what it takes to be considered an assistant to the main protagonist or Miles Edgeworth’s Maya so to speak. In the Ace Attorney trilogy, Maya represented the lancer and heart of Phoenix Wright’s life.

(Both images from tvtropes.org)

She’s helped him in almost all of his cases with only four that she didn’t work with him on. In many ways, Maya is Phoenix’s loyal partner and someone that brightens his life. Understand that a majority of Phoenix’s work includes paperwork, investigating and court trials. Not exactly something to be excited about. I’ve never been to a trial, but I have had visited a courthouse with my mom when she was sending in paperwork for her divorce. If you thought being in a waiting room for a doctor’s appointment or the likes was boring, going to a courtroom to see a judge is ten times more boring. Having the assistant for the main character is a great way of bringing life to the main protagonist when he needs it.

What makes Kay the most unique as Miles Edgeworth’s assistant is the fact she is more chaotic than the other assistants. Maya Fey was certainly trollish and Trucy can bring a bit of chaos, but neither ever ran off randomly, dawned themselves as criminals of justice or were as dedicated to bringing justice in the most unorthodox way. In many ways, much like Maya is for Phoenix and Trucy is for Apollo, Kay represents everything Miles Edgeworth needs in his life. Just like Maya is for Phoenix and Trucy is for Apollo, Kay parallels Miles Edgeworth’s past and what he needs to strive for.

The first time Miles Edgeworth met Kay Faraday, he was with his mentor and getting ready to take over in Byrne Faraday’s place as Prosecutor due to allegations against Byrne Faraday as the Yatagarasu, a noble thief who steals the truth, then releases it to the public. Kay Faraday politely asks a young Miles Edgeworth to exchange her coins for a dollar. Later on, when the trial is about to start, it turns out that both the Defendant and Byrne Faraday were murdered. Through investigation, both young Miles Edgeworth and a young Franziska Von Karma are able to conclude that this double murder was made by a third party.

At first, it’s suspected that Dick Gumshoe was the one responsible for the murder. With teamwork from young Miles Edgeworth and young Franziska Von Karma, they were able to prove that Dick Gumshoe had a mysterious alibi in the form of Kay Faraday. Realizing she had truly lost her father, this touches the young Miles Edgeworth in the most personal way. He too had lost his father at a very young age and blamed himself for it, even during this time. Unlike Miles Edgeworth, though, Kay had found someone that understood and sympathized with her pain and suffering. What many people seem to miss, however, is how even this young Kay might’ve blamed herself in the same way Miles Edgeworth blamed himself for his father’s death.

Kay’s father was literally murdered in the next room literally next to her. She likely was with her father before, then took off to buy a little snack for her and her father. If you can also recall all the promises she made in her Promise Notebook, she had technically broke two of those rules. One was that she would not except gifts from strangers, yet she accepted a dollar from Miles Edgeworth and technically a snack from Dick Gumshoe. The second is that she would not go anywhere with strangers, yet sat and ate with Dick Gumshoe. Thanks to those two rules being broken, Kay never returned to her father or was there when her father was murdered. It’s possible that, in Kay’s mind, she truly believed her father would still be alive and Dick Gumshoe would not have been blamed or covered for her had she not left her father’s side or broken any of the rules.

Now, most people would likely say, “but Kay isn’t anything like Miles Edgeworth. She doesn’t self deprecate or blame herself for things she cannot control,” except that’s exactly what she did in The Forgotten Turnabout when she lost her memories. People with amnesia do not just change into self-shaming people. It’s like erasing your computer into its factory/default settings. The computer erases all information to its basic format and this is exactly what happened to Kay Faraday in The Forgotten Turnabout. Her default personality is someone that constantly blames herself for things she does not know or can control. This girl went so far as to believe she truly murdered someone, because she was there when it happened. Hm… remind you of another character, who also thought he murdered someone because he was there when it happened? I don’t know. Sounds a bit similar, if you ask me.

To continue on, young Kay is given young Miles Edgeworth’s cravat, who then promises to return it. From there, Miles Edgeworth exposes the real killer of Kay’s father, Calisto Yew, before she runs off. Kay returns many years later in order to help Miles Edgeworth and find justice for her father. This feels familiar in how Phoenix Wright also helped Maya Fey find justice for her sister’s killer or how Apollo Justice helped Trucy Wright find justice for her father’s killer. Kay considers Miles Edgeworth a hero for helping her expose her father’s killer, before eventually putting her to justice.

Kay returns in the second game where she attempts to look for a Yatagarasu Team of her own, while helping Miles Edgeworth with his investigations. Returning back to The Forgotten Turnabout, we learn a hidden side to Kay Faraday people tend to brush off as her being amnestic. The truth is, Kay’s amnesic personality shows a greater depth to her than people realize. It is when she loses her memories that we see that she is more fragile, self-deprecating and self-conscious about herself. These are the most noticeable traits to Miles Edgeworth that he often hides with his stoicism. This stoic personality to Miles Edgeworth is the upbeat, chaotic side to Kay. Just like how Miles Edgeworth often uses his stoic, smug personality to mask his fragile, self-deprecation and self-conscious part of himself, the same can also be how Kay uses her upbeat, chaotic personality to hide the very same parts of herself.

(Found image here)

Losing a parent was never something that came without traumatic consequences in Ace Attorney, especially to children. Athena losing her mother resulted in losing memory, having phobias towards courtrooms – something I suspect might be a form of Agoraphobia and having fractured relationships towards the Blackquill siblings. Athena also had believed she may’ve killed her own mother as a young child. Trucy Wright losing her parents caused her to believe that she wasn’t allowed to show any form of sadness or anger. Apollo having lost his father as an infant caused him to have abandonment and trust issues almost all of his life to the point of quickly turning against colleagues at the flip of a dime the moment he suspects either one have committed some sort of crime (Kristoph Gavin, Phoenix Wright for a short time and Athena Cykes). Why should Kay Faraday be left out of being traumatized by the murder of her own father, especially if she was a child and was literally next door when it happened? Why wouldn’t Kay Faraday blame herself for her father’s murder when we have two other characters placed under suspicion of murdering their parents? Even while one could argue Trucy never had issues as severe as Miles Edgeworth or Athena Cykes, it’s likely because she still had Phoenix as her adopted father to help her through her trauma. Even Apollo had a Foster Father during most of his childhood. Kay never had any adopted or foster father.

Many have questioned and speculated if Kay Faraday sees Miles Edgeworth as her father. I wouldn’t put that out of the realm of possibilities, but I’d like to say that is up for interpretation. What I can say about their relationship is that they have connected much quicker than most other characters. Even with Maya, Phoenix didn’t completely connect with her for about a year. Phoenix told Maya he trusted Larry and Edgeworth, two of his childhood friends, more than anyone else, even Maya (Ouch!). Apollo did connect with Trucy pretty quickly, but they weren’t really open with each other for a few years. It wasn’t until Spirit of Justice when Trucy truly opened up to Apollo. While Miles Edgeworth is most certainly not as open with Kay as he is with Phoenix Wright, it’s clear there was a great deal of chemistry and trust that developed in the span in less than two months.

(Image from here)

It’s this great deal of trust Kay has with Miles Edgeworth that she decides to make him and Dick Gumshoe her new Yatagarasu team. Many people often make this new Yatagarasu to include Ema Skye, Franziska Von Karma and/or Sebastian Debeste and, while I do respect that team, I find it to be better that it’s Dick Gumshoe and Miles Edgeworth. Most would consider this to be the same as the previous Yatagarasu, but I have to disagree with that. The only thing both teams would have in common is that they have a Prosecutor and Detective, perhaps a future Defense Attorney if Kay was to go that route. They still have different personalities from the original Yatagarasu, would perform their jobs differently and would go up against a different evil corruption in the higher ups. The first Yatagarasu would go up against the Smuggling Ring, whereas the second would likely go against the Dark Age of the Law and the corruption in the PIC and Bar Association. Why? Well….

With Kay Faraday, I have seen a previous essay on her, but I feel that there is so much more to her than what was put on before. She’s one of the only assistant characters that I feel parallels the protagonist the closest. I found this fanart. I will link to where I found this here, but this expresses their relationship as a whole.

Kay Faraday is one of the only characters in Miles Edgeworth’s life that can truly relate to him on a deeper level. She’s Miles Edgeworth’s support and someone that Miles Edgeworth would likely run across a burning bridge for. Technically, he did…

Sorta. It still counts!

That’s my take on Kay Faraday. She truly is my best girl. I may do other Character Essays in the future, but I thought I’d give this one a go. We have another request on Shi Long Lang, so do expect an essay of him to be made in the future.

-Mod Edgeworth

#Anonymous #John Marsh #Kay Faraday #Mod Post #Co Mod #Character Essay #Mod Edgeworth #Mod Commentary #Two essays in one! Yay!#Admittedly this was fun

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thran-duils · 4 years ago

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Come Back Home (P. 2)

Title: Come Back Home (Part 2) Summary: Fem!Omega!Reader x Alpha!Steve Rogers. Omegas are property that are promised to Alphas and they are to be preened to be dutiful. There are rebels in the country, mainly Beta, that take pity on the Omegas and work to hide them and give them suppressants to help curb their heats. The reader happened to fall into a group of drug addicts of a different kind and although they were loyal to the cause, they weren’t smart enough to hide from Natasha. Words: 2,350 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): ABO dynamics, smut, angst, dub-con Author’s Note: I went for a two part story. Please note that there is toxicity about this relationship, so if that offends you, don’t read on!

Part One || Masterpost

The road leading to the house was lined with densely packed trees. There were more neighboring houses than you expected judging on the driveways you passed, but it was far from a city. You had been in the city at a boarding house when you had run away. This was new scenery for you. Some of the trees were turning color and you miserably thought about being trapped inside as the weather became colder. Spring and summer would at least provide escape from outside the walls of the house on a regular basis. Not so much with deep fall and into winter.

You had stayed the night in a hotel, the drive being too long to continue. Natasha had been careful to choose a room without a window in the bathroom so she could trust you to take a shower without trying to escape. Freshly washed and clothed, you were going to be handed over to your Alpha in a presentable manner.

The car began to slow and took a left turn onto a blacktop driveway. When you saw the large iron gate, you began to fidget. The man driving the car leaned out the window to press the security system, telling whoever answered it was you. The door creaked open and your fist clenched, instinctively reaching for the door handle.

Natasha reached over and grasped your hand, stilling your motion.

“Steve will be far better than this,” Natasha told you, gesturing at the handkerchief you were still holding.

You had thought about throwing it on the ground multiple times in defiance but something stopped you each time; you did not want to show disrespect especially since you were back in their grasp and would be at their mercy. And if Steve found out…

Why could they not just give you your medication? You had been doing fine on them. You did not want to be kept away just for him. When the drug distribution had gone cold, that is when you had started having problems, your anxiety and sexual need for Steve creeping back in. It had been like a black cloud slowly engulfing you. When Natasha had found you, it had started becoming truly unbearable. The handkerchief had quelled it slightly, providing comfort but you did not feel entirely secure still. You knew deep down to feel truly secure, that could only be accomplished one way, with Steve, but you were frightened about how he was going to react when he had you.

The driveway was long, lined with dogwood trees. The property had a large yard, the house looming. It was ornate, antique, but beautiful. Steve was old fashioned – it made sense, considering the time jump he had endured.

Steve was waiting on the stairs, his arms crossed. You swallowed sharply seeing how intensely he was staring at the car approaching; it was as if he was staring through the metal at you. You took in the sharp chin, his fit physique showing through his thin Henley shirt. He was even more handsome than you remembered... Your stomach lurched though seeing the stoic expression on his face. The memory of him declaring that he was going to bring you here, keep you away from everyone except him echoed. You had tried to thwart his plan and there was no doubt in your mind he was more than displeased.

The car came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the front door.

“I don’t want to,” you blurted to Natasha. “I want to go back home.”

“You are home, Y/N. Don’t be silly,” Natasha dismissed you.

Steve was coming around the SUV and you braced yourself for an onslaught of punishment.

He opened your door and you scooted back against Natasha.

“I want to go home,” you repeated to her.

“Christ,” Natasha grunted, trying to shove you towards Steve.

Ducking to look into the car, Steve pinned you with a stare. “Y/N.” His voice was eerily calm. “Come out.”

You shook your head, not wanting to verbally refuse him. That would be crossing a line you did not want to go over.

A dark cloud passed over his face all the same at you rejecting him even without words. His tone was firm, “Omega. Out. Now.”

Natasha was still at your back, knowing you needed to follow his direction without any help from her since he had given you a direct order.

Stiffly, you came closer, but just out of his reach. Steve sighed loudly, before snatching at you, dragging you out of the car. He swept you up into his arms in a bridal carry, his fingers digging into you.

“Please. I’m sorry,” you told him scared, squirming in his arms, still thinking of what was going to happen to you for retribution for giving him the run around.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he grunted against your struggling. “Don’t fight it. Shh. I am so glad you are home. So happy to have you. We are going to be so happy together. Just us.”

You whimpered, feeling yourself succumbing to his words, his touch bringing you under his thumb slowly but surely. His words seemed as if you were not going to be punished, catching you off guard. He should be mad. Why was he not mad?

He carried you up the stairs through the front door, turning the corner into a huge living room where you spotted Mr. Stark and Bucky sitting on one of the couches. He jumped to attention as soon as he saw you in Steve’s arms.

“Ah, Y/N. There she is,” Mr. Stark said cheerfully. “Welcome home.”

To Steve, he said, “It’d probably be best to do it now while you’ve got her in your arms.”

“Right,” Steve agreed.

Right what?

You struggled again, worrying about what they were talking about. But you could not break Steve’s iron grip.

“What are you going to do?” you asked panicked. “Alpha?”

Steve flinched ever so slightly at the title; you thought for a second, he might relent, but he did not.

Mr. Stark moving caught your attention and you saw him reaching for a bag on the side table. He pulled out a little, circular device, pressing a button and opening it up.

“Barnes,” Mr. Stark said over his shoulder and Bucky stood up from the couch. Mr. Stark gestured at your legs and told him, “I just need one of her ankles. Mind giving me a hand? I don’t think Y/N is going to make this easy.”

“What is that?” you demanded, looking at Steve for an answer. Your fingers curled into his shirt desperately, trying to compel comfort out of him.

“Precaution,” Steve told you curtly.

“I don’t want to wear it!” you protested.

Steve said nothing.

Bucky advanced and you began to kick your legs to try to prevent him from getting a grip on you.

“See,” Mr. Stark sighed, giving you a reproachful look.

“Omega!” Steve barked at you readjusting you in a swift motion to lock you against his chest, your arms pinned between the two of you.

Bucky was at your legs and gripped your calves tightly despite you trying to yank them away. Coupled with Steve’s own hold on you and Bucky on top of that you were not making any progress in getting away from them now.

You felt cold metal around your ankle and heard the sound of the device locking into place.

“Now, if she happens to run away again – which I highly doubt she’ll try after you’re done with her, Steve – you can at least track her down,” Mr. Stark stated, tapping at the device, his fingers brushing your skin.

“Tony,” Steve growled out in warning.

You heard Mr. Stark give a little chuckle, his touch gone. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Cap. I have my own little dove back home all to myself. I don’t need another. They’re far too needy. I could not stand the idea of having to coddle two.”

Looking down at you tucked against his chest, Steve said firmly, “I’m going to put you down. Do not try to run. Unlike the first time, you’ve got me right here to stop you and I don’t want to have to subdue you, Y/N. Do you understand me?”

Nodding stiffly, you waited for him to loosen his grip. He set you on your feet in front of him, staring intensely down at you. You averted your gaze, falling to the ground. You moved your leg, looking down at the small bracelet now around your ankle. Surmising it was a tracking bracelet, your stomach twisted knowing if you ever felt the need to run again, it would not be possible. This was a common practice with Omega, more so for protection because traffickers tended to search them out. But… this was not what yours was for. At least not entirely.

“Well, I think you guys need to catch up,” Mr. Stark said after a few moments of awkward silence. “Barnes?”

He moved past you and Steve, Bucky following.

As soon as the front door closed, Steve was close, the smell of him all around you. He ran his eyes over you, taking in every detail. Reaching up, his fingers ghosted along the side of your face. You saw his lips turn up slightly in happiness.

His voice was gentle, “You are just as lovely as I remember. I was so worried that something terrible had happened to you. I am so relieved you are safe, standing here in front of me.”

Steve wasted no time, kissing your forehead with purpose, holding you in place. You shivered underneath his touch, your heart rate picking up pace. He inhaled deeply, taking you in, and hummed with approval.

“All mine,” he murmured.

His lips trailed down, his fingers hooking underneath your chin to turn your face to him. Down your temple, to your cheek. Each kiss was increasing your need for more contact from him. When his lips landed on yours, you audibly let out a small moan.

“That’s it,” Steve breathed, both hands cupping the sides of your face. He deepened his kiss, demanding entrance into your mouth. His tongue swirled around yours, dominating you. He pressed against you and you felt his arousal through his trousers. He chuckled when he noticed you fidgeting in response.

“You are beautiful,” Steve praised, his hands slipping up underneath your shirt.

There had barely been a handful of words shared between the two of you ever since you had been promised to him. And yet, all you were thinking about with him so close was pleasing him. You wanted him to take you; your body felt on fire, the all too familiar feeling overcoming you simply because Steve was touching you, scenting you.

“I feel… hot.”

“I’ll help with that,” Steve husked, pulling your shirt over your head, unclasping your bra in one fluid motion. He picked you up, nipping at the skin at your neck.

You gasped, feeling your arousal increasing with every brush of his skin against yours.

“That’s it,” he repeated, lips tracing your skin. “You can’t help yourself. My darling, little Omega. But I’m going to take care of you. Relieve you. Protect you.”

He carried you upstairs, peppering you with kisses along the way after each declaration. His breathing was become more erratic, reacting to you succumbing to your heat that had been threatening to boil over.

The remainder of your clothes were stripped from you and he laid you on the bed, climbing on top of you. Steve’s fingers caressed your breasts, causing you to arch your back towards him. You were quickly losing yourself to anything but craving his touch.

His fingers slipped in between your thighs, delving into your pussy. “Such a good girl. Look how eager you are for me.”

Pulling away, his hands ran down your sides, basking in your naked form in front of him. Steve’s pupils were blown wide with lust, a wild look in his eyes. You just wanted him inside you, and you told him as such by rolling your hips towards him, a soft please leaving your lips.

He pulled away and flipped you onto your stomach, hiking your hips back up to him. Pinning you against the mattress, his large hand rested at the small of your back as he slipped slowly inside, hissing at you stretching around him.

Steve’s nose dug into your neck as he thrusted, inhaling deeply. He growled, “I am so lucky to have you.”

His cock brushed your core and you cried out, your fingers curling into the sheets. Steve’s arms flexed, trying to pull you even closer to his chest. He was teasing, laying sloppy kisses along your shoulder up to your neck. He sucked deeply, breathing raggedly.

“I’m… I’m gonna…” you gasped, heat pooling.

You cried out when he thrusted into you again, buried hilt deep. You felt the warmth of his breath the second before his teeth dug into your neck. You released with a loud cry, clenching around him, sweet relief rushing through your body.

Steve pulled out and slammed back in, his cock thick. He came with a shout, holding you as you still trembled in his embrace.

Cradling you, Steve rolled with you. The soft kiss he laid on your mark sent a shiver through you. Fingers intertwined with yours, his hand engulfed yours.

“I’ll always take care of you,” he pledged gently into your ear. “Don’t ever leave me again, Omega.”

A direct order.

“You’ll be safe with me. You know that, right?”

“Yes,” you whispered. And it was true. You felt more settled and secure than you had since you had run away from him. Being in his arms now that you were claimed was like everything askew inside you had fallen into place. Freedom traded for comfort.

Steve’s voice rumbled low in his chest, “I can’t wait to take you over and over again, Omega. I’m going to cherish you always. You’ll want for nothing, I’ll make sure of that.”

#steve rogers x reader #alpha!steve rogers #alpha!steve #marvel fanfic #marvel fic #my shit

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dreamofasupernaturalchamber · 3 years ago

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Dabb's Dream of a Red Chamber: Dean, Sam, Cas, Jack, and the roles they play

In my last post, I explored how Dean starts off as Qin Keqing in S14 but becomes Lin Daiyu later on in the season. The transition point is 14x13-- the 300th episode. I always found it funny that Dabb chooses the Ruyi Baozhu to start this episode. It's a Buddhist item, and of course, SPN becomes very Buddhist toward the end (which is why everyone hates the finale). What I want to talk about today is Baozhu as both a pearl and a name.

This name appears in Dream of a Red Chamber. Who is Baozhu? One of Qin Keqing's maids who volunteers to be adopted by her after her death so she can play the role of the daughter during the funeral. She then becomes a nun after the funeral-- fitting, no, considering her name? Let me tell you this: a monk (and this gets interesting, but I'll get to that later) arrives at Lin Daiyu's home when she's young and says the only way she'll live a long life is if she becomes a nun. Obviously she doesn't choose this route. But going back to SPN--Dabb twists the Baozhu into another Buddhist message-- so why not use some other artifact from Buddhist lore? Why Baozhu?

I think it's because Baozhu is the combination of the Bao from Baoyu's name, and Zhu, which means pearl. The emphasis is on the pearl, which makes sense-- Dabb isn't going to involve yu, or jade, when Cas (the character corresponding to Baoyu) is secondary in this episode. Dean is the one who makes the wish, and so the treasure is going to represent him.

So who is associated with pearls in Red Chamber? Qin Keqing, for one-- she has maids who carry "pearl" in their names. And Lin Daiyu, who is the reincarnation of the Jiangzhu (Crimson Pearl) Fairy. She's also associated with the Jiling Pearls, which foreshadow the Jia family getting dragged into the royal family's power struggle.

But Dean is nothing like Lin Daiyu, readers might say! He's not sickly. We'll get to the sickly part later-- let's first talk about Lin Daiyu and what she represents.

First and foremost-- Lin Daiyu represents rebellion. Not literal rebellion (although if I'm not wrong, the Jia family gets into huge trouble for aligning themselves with the wrong princes), but rebellion against societal conventions and patriarchal feudalism. The last thing Baoyu wants to do is take the imperial exams and become an imperial bureaucrat-- but this is exactly what his family wants him to do. This is what Baochai, Shi Xiangyun, Xi Ren, and all the girls want him to do-- except for Daiyu. Daiyu tells him, "You should do what you want." And so they think of each other as zhiji, which I suppose can be translated as soulmate, but really means "a friend who knows me." A zhiji is a friend who knows your soul.

And this fits Dean and Cas-- Dean is the one who encourages Cas to rebel against Heaven. Dean is the one who asks Cas what he wants. Dean is the one who bucks convention; he's the subversive one, the one who represents free will.

(And as a side note, Qin Zhong, the younger brother of Qin Keqing, is another one of Baoyu's more subversive loves-- he dies just as Baoyu's oldest sister is made the highest ranking imperial concubine, which indicates that Baoyu's attempts to buck against feudalism are destined to fail and foreshadows Lin Daiyu's death. Qin Zhong, Qing Zhong-- his name tells us that Baoyu is a lover.)

Dean doesn't die from what looks suspiciously like TB, which is how Lin Daiyu dies in the last forty chapters of Red Chamber-- however, we know that those chapters are ghostwritten and doesn't fit her panci, or the poem that foretells her fate, the hints that she's married off for political purposes, or Zhiyanzhai's footnotes which indicate that she dies of a broken heart. Zhiyanzhai is very likely the coauthor of Red Chamber, and their notes indicate they were there for most of the events of the story (Red Chamber is thought to be a retelling of how the author's family fell upon hard times-- of course, there are other interpretations too, which I will talk about in a separate post). Dean dies from a broken heart two times. The second time takes.

Now let's talk about Cas and Baoyu. Baoyu is usually considered the reincarnation of Shen Ying Shi Zhe, who is a heavenly monk in another dimension. He waters the Crimson Pearl Grass every day, and she becomes a fairy as a result; it's hinted that he falls in love with her, which threatens his cultivation/enlightenment, so he runs off to the human world to gain more enlightenment, and she follows him and decides to repay her debt by crying all of her tears for him (the lyric "don't you cry no more" comes to mind). Yes, Lin Daiyu is the fairy this blade of grass becomes. Yes, Shen Ying Shi Zhe is responsible for giving her life, much as Cas is responsible for lifting Dean from perdition.

Cas also falls from Heaven to experience love, but up until Dabb took over, this was usually framed as a positive thing. I'm-- not quite sure Dabb actually frames it as a positive thing. Cas's ending calls to mind the endings of the gods/fairies who fall from grace because they fall in love in Chinese folklore-- they either become human, or they become enlightened and regain their standing in the heavens. Baoyu's real ending is unknown, but it's not hard to guess that he becomes enlightened and goes back to being Shen Ying Shi Zhe-- which would match nicely with Cas's ending.

There's another version of Red Chamber (there are multiple versions-- again, remember, this is a work of metafiction, and this will come into play later) where he's considered to be one of the rocks Nuwa was going to use to patch a hole in the sky, but was discarded. We usually interpret this rock as the piece of jade Baoyu was born with, but I do want to point out this version, because Cas, given his performance in the later seasons, also fits this description.

Then there's Sam-- he contains shades of Baoyu (he marries someone after Dean dies, but he's never happy, which is what happens to Baoyu; this is foretold in a song Baoyu hears in Bo Ming Si), but I'm going to argue that he is Baochai. Who is Baochai? The other girl in the love triangle-- Baoyu loves Daiyu, but marries Baochai instead (this plays out differently here). What does she represent? She represents money (there's the gold radical in chai, and it's often said that her union with Baoyu is a marriage of gold and jade, and her family is exceedingly wealthy). She represents adherence to tradition. She and Daiyu are like "sisters" at one point, but that falls apart because Lady Wang hates Daiyu and wants Baochai as her daughter-in-law instead. And even though Baochai and Daiyu top the first volume of the beauties, they share a poem that foretells their fate; all the other women get their own poems. And what's Baochai's fate?

It's a one liner-- a gold hairpin (chai) buried in snow. I've seen all sorts of theories flying around that she's supposed to die in the snow, but honestly, I think the ending in the ghostwritten chapters is probably close to what was planned for her. She marries Baoyu, but he leaves to become a monk and she lives alone in the Jia family. In the ghostwritten ending, she also has a son. Her room at the Jia's mansion (she lives with them)? It's compared to a Snow Hole; she's a minimalist when it comes to interior decoration.

And let's look at Sam's ending. He basically lives in a shrine to the dead with his one son, and it's clear his marriage was short-lived (no pictures of the wife). His ending is a perfect match for Baochai's.

And then there's Jack. I compared Jack to Baoyu in the previous post, and again, if you look at the stories of Shen Ying Shi Zhe and the rock (especially when you consider that Jack was born to stop the apocalypse/make the world a better place), you can see the similarities. But he also represents other characters-- Daiyu and most likely Prince Beijing, who's the head of the four princes, or the old guard; those two characters are connected through Baoyu, which makes for a nice trio of characters.

How does Jack represent Daiyu? There's the way he's not entirely welcome in his own home (Lin Daiyu lives with the Jia family, and Lady Wang dislikes her immensely.) There's the way he dies in 14x08-- from what looks suspiciously like TB, just as Daiyu dies in all the TV adaptations and in the ghostwritten chapters. He changes identities after this death -- he becomes the prince.

Let's finally talk about Prince Beijing. He's young-- under twenty. The Jia family is close to him. He clearly plays a role in the power struggle-- if we're going off the real prince he's based on, then he should be in the faction against the dowager emperor, which means he's loyal to the emperor, but most analyses claim that he's not loyal to the emperor. One piece of evidence for the latter viewpoint: he attends Qin Keqing's funeral in full regalia, which is considered disrespectful, and hands Baoyu a bracelet of Jiling pearls that the king gave him to symbolize their brotherhood. That's-- not what you do with what the emperor gives you. It's just not done. (That being said, I can see the real prince getting away with that, because he was the real emperor's favorite brother.) Baoyu then hands Daiyu those pearls, and she throws them away. Later on, Baoyu will hand Daiyu the prince's straw coat and she tosses it away again. She doesn't accept anything from Beijing until she's forced to. We can interpret this as Daiyu disapproving of Baoyu's alliance with Beijing (and there are other interpretations that assert Beijing is responsible for marrying off to distant lands, but since the last forty chapters were never written...).

This fits Jack. He's TFW's only hope against Chuck, who is both the emperor and the dowager emperor in this story. Cas has faith in him, just like Baoyu likes Prince Beijing. Dean doesn't have faith in him, just as it's implied that Daiyu doesn't have much faith in the prince either. This is where the meta gets very interesting, because who is Chuck? The writers? The network? What does it mean if he's both the emperor and the dowager emperor? I'm going to talk about this next in a post on the meta structure of SPN and Red Chamber.

What I want to point out before I end this post is that it's very likely Dabb planned these very controversial endings for Dean, Cas, and Sam-- I doubt censorship had anything to do with it. SPN may have been a story about a fight between the writers and the network, or it may have been a Buddhist story, but either way, I'm pretty sure SPN ended exactly as Dabb meant it to end.

#spn meta #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline

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mulderscully · 4 years ago

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Been rewatching s1 and something that always gets me thinking is something Lucifer says in the pilot. When Amenadiel threatens him with his wings, Luci says “go on, do it. You think father is angry now...” I always find that interesting because right before that he talks about how his dad has always disrespected him and cast him out etc. So do you think he’s saying his dad would be angry two angels are fighting on earth or do you think Lucifer believes his dad would be angry if Amenadiel hurt his “favorite son” despite the anger he has for his dad? I feel it’s maybe more the latter because if you think about it, God could have sent him back to hell at any time but he allowed him to stay on Earth. He’s got a soft spot for Lucifer and on some subconscious level Lucifer knows it.

man, amenadiel is such a fascinating character in his own right.

as for your question, at first i thought god would be upset since if lucifer died no one would be ruling hell, but like you said - for the first four seasons no one was, and god made no effort to force lucifer back into taking the throne.

something i think about a lot lately is lucifer's session with linda in s1, where she tells him god gave lucifer the hardest of jobs because he is favorite son and that it was a gift.

a lot of people take that as linda being naive bc she didn't know the truth, or that she was wrong. but the way that scene is framed always felt like it was true in some way. if you connect that session & how angry/hurt he is for being blamed for every bad thing humans do back to 4x09 where chloe tells him hates that feeling because he blames himself just as much his outburst makes so much sense. he's angry at himself for rebelling in the first place. he regrets it.

then there is the issue of how could sending your favorite son to hell be a gift? but the thing is: lucifer rebelled because he wanted god's job, right? even if michael planted the idea in his head he still chose to do what he did. the main issue we see with angels (and mum) is that they don't give a fuck about humanity. until he meets chloe lucifer is still like this, there is a spark of what's to come with delilah, but he still doesn't see humans as valuable, worth listening to or worth saving. he just doesn't care. and he doesn't care until he actually MEETS someone who is immune to his charms, because before that no one ever saw him for who he is and he had no reason to know then. and through loving chloe he experiences actually feeling human and learns that other humans are complex and interesting and important too, so important that he chooses to save them multiple times. if lucifer wanted the job of being god but he didn't care about humanity, that's selfish. that's wanting power for the sake of it. that isn't what god is. god is there, as ella said, to help you get through the hard stuff. to love you. as father frank said, he has faith in you even at your darkest. but lucifer feels unworthy, he said to frank "he didn't believe in me." which now i think he meant, you didn't believe i was good enough or competent enough to do a good job. but i don't think that's true.

maybe god thought, if lucifer wants power then i will give it to him. i will make him king. and lucifer admits MULTIPLE TIMES that he DID enjoy being king of hell to a certain degree. but then he got angry, he got lonely, he got tired of seeing the worst of humanity. but he felt too guilty about rebelling to leave, so he stayed. he visited earth sometimes but he always came back. and perhaps god didn't want that, he wanted lucifer to free himself and that's where chloe comes in. god's gift to lucifer is someone finally seeing him for who he is, and through that he finally gets to know and love humanity, the FIRST angel to do so. so maybe the gift of lucifer running hell was because it was just a step in the larger gift which is lucifer getting the job he always wanted when dad retires. lucifer now has the authority of a ruler but probably THE most compassion and understanding and deep love for humanity of any angel ever. he's almost ready. but it's like linda said in that session too, "when angels fall they also rise. you just have to accept all that you are." i think lucifer needs to forgive himself and love himself to allow himself to feel god's love, and him even accepting and understanding that chloe is a gift and not a curse is already a huge sign he has made a lot of progress toward that.

lucifer knows in his heart that he's god's favorite son, that's why god "not believing in him" hurt so much. he just doesn't feel worthy of love that yet which i think is where so much of their conflict stems from.

#to he clear this is the dc universe fictional god and lucifer okay sidiosososishsjwi #anonymous #reply #lucifer speculation #this got long wow

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sherrybaby14 · 5 years ago

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Winds Of Winter (1/2)

This is my entry for @youngmoneymilla 15k challenge (Congrats lady)

Prompt: The Winds of Winter – Ramin Djawadi (Game of Thrones)

Summary: A stranger from a rival kingdom comes to your throne for a favor. (Fantasy AU)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: None in this chapter. Part two is gonna have some war/death and smut.

A/N: You don’t need to have seen Game of Thrones to follow this. It’s not GOT fanfic, just fantasy, but heavily inspired by the mythology.

Words: 3k

The stranger’s footsteps echoed across the throne room and you held your chin high as he approached. Stranger wasn’t the right term, though you’d never set eyes on the man you knew who he was the second his presence was announced.

When he arrived in front of you, his blue eyes scanned your face before he dropped to a knee, the coat and wardrobe he wore not nearly enough to survive the raging winter outside your castle’s door.

“Your majesty,” Steve Rogers began speaking but you felt your jaw tighten at the formal title.

“What do you want?” It wasn’t very regal of you to interrupt but being treated this way by someone whose people referred to you as Queen-of-nothing was almost disrespectful.

“My name is Steven Rogers.” He stood.

“I know who you are.” You gave up trying to hold your tongue. “I didn’t ask your name. I asked what you wanted.”

“You know who I am?” He looked shocked.

“I am well within my rights to have you beheaded for showing your face here. Neither you, nor your people are allowed beyond my gates.” You rolled your shoulders back. “After all, it was your ancestors who banished mine here.”

Steve bit his lip. He was choosing his words wisely.

“The banishment of your family, your people.” He shook his head. “I took no part. I wasn’t born, even a thought yet.”

“Neither were any of the people who reside here.” You rose from your throne. “Yet, we honor the treaty. We do not cross into your lands and you keep out of ours.”

It was a prison of ice. The sentence passed on for your grandfather’s rebellion against the crown. Everyone knew the story. Everyone expected your family to wither and die in the harsh north, but instead you’d survived. Your people tougher, stronger because of it.

“I will ask you one more time before I summon an executioner.” You took a step toward him. “Why are you here?”

“I need your help.” The look of defeat on his face made it clear you were his last choice. “The kingdom is at war, its chaos. My home is occupied by an enemy.”

“Yes, a lesser house than your own. Correct? House Rumlow. I heard they murdered your family in a revolt.” You walked to the window. “And that the crown supports them. Who sits on the throne in the South now? House Romanov? House Stark? House Quill? Or is it House Parker now? I can hardly keep up the way you fight each other.”

“I don’t care about the throne.” Steve’s desperation started to show. “I don’t care about any of that. I care about my people, my lands, the ones I am warden too. Rumlow will see them tortured, murdered with glee. He is dangerous.”

“You say you care nothing about the throne, but who is your allegiance to?” You spun to face him, your sky blue cloak sliding against the stone floor. “Because it certainly is not to me.”

“I understand ancient grudges. But you seem well versed in the present times, more so than expected. My home, the estate of Brooklyn, is the farthest North of the great houses. You think he won’t want to expand his lands? Come for you? Maybe not be as lenient about your spies passing through our towns?” Steve’s voice echoed across the walls.

“You expect this Rumlow to expand into my, what do you Southerners call it, wasteland?” You folded your arms. “What I think, is I should sit it out. Watch all of you destroy each other. Do my part to contribute by ending your life right here.”

“You won’t.” Steve pushed out his chest.

“What has you so sure of that?” You did not like him questioning your authority.

“Because there are rumors of you. The Queen beyond the kingdoms. Who has aided her people, grown them in numbers, united other banished here. Stories of kindness, and love for her people. A stunning beauty who would…”

“STOP!” You held your hand up, not wanting to hear any more flatteries or acknowledge the rush of adrenaline. “I do love my people. I love them so much I will not consider sending them to their deaths for a fight that is not theirs.”

There was only five thousand living under your command, though all were trained fighters and stronger than ten southern. Even the youngest.

“I am not asking for your people’s assistance.” Steve gulped and rang his hands in front of him.

“Oh?” You smirked. “Well I suppose you never answered my original inquiry. What do you want?”

“There’s other rumors.” He glanced around the hall, your guards still at the door. “I saw the red comet in the sky, I remember it vividly. Four years ago.”

“Celestial matters bare no influence on my decisions.” You walked back to your throne.

“I know what that means. Your bloodline, your family. Stories, pictures of what once was. They’ve returned. To you.” Steve kept his eyes on you.

A laugh left your mouth as you sat in the chair and shook your head.

“Whatever you’re implying, you are mistaken.” You leaned back.

“I believe. I believe enough I came here alone, unarmed, knowing fully well you could chop my head off.” Steve took a step forward and your guards reacted.

You held a palm up and shook your head. This man was no threat.

“Because I have faith. I have faith that you are as kind and noble as the rumors say. That something unbelieve, magical is happening in your land, and that you are good and just and will not let any more innocent lives be lost.” Steve dropped down to his knees. “Please. Help me. I have an army of two thousand, going to take on an army double that size. I need you. I will welcome you and your people into my kingdom in return.”

“As a guest?” You rolled your eyes.

“No.” Steve brought his hands in front of him. “As a Queen. I have dropped to my knee twice before you. Once you help us win back Brooklyn, I will do so again. In front of all my people, and recognize you as the one true leader. Then I will help you get what you really want.”

“And what is that?” The promise made your blood pressure rise.

“The throne.” He stood up again. “You are correct in the waring houses. The Kingdom needs unity. The North will support your claim.”

“The North?” You snapped as you stood up from the chair. “You think you’re the North? You know nothing about the dangers my people endure. The harsh conditions. Winter, snow, ice.”

“Then accept my offer.” Steve watched as you walked back toward the window. “Take them to your ancestral home. Away from here.”

“I intend to.” You spun on your heels. “Without your assistance. My original plan still stands. I’m going to let you kill each other. Once you’re all a sea of graveyards we will return home, without shedding a drop of blood.”

“Tomorrow.” Steve’s eyes danced on your face, taking you in, making your skin crawl. “The battle is set for dawn.”

“Tomorrow?” You smiled. “What makes you think for a moment I could assist you in that amount of time. Assembling my troops, readying the horses, making the travel.”

“I’m not asking for your troops.” His eyes flashed. “I believe you will help me. Because you know it is right, and my offer is fair.”

“Trusting your people’s offers is what landed my people here.” Steve started to back away. “I will not make the same mistakes as my ancestors.”

“That is what I am counting on.” He bowed. “Dawn.”

“You will be severely disappointed.” Part of you wanted to chase after the Southerner, enjoying your argument more than you had realized.

“I have faith.” He stood again. “In you.”

The words made you unsettled. So much so that you did not get another word out before he left the throne room. Your guards escorting him out. Maybe you should have decapitated him, it would have aided with the pain in the back of your neck he had caused.

Steve left the stone building and looked behind him. That was their castle, it was barely a quarter the size of his own. The rest of the buildings in the tiny town were made from wood. They looked more like huts than houses.

His eyes scanned the people. They wore rich, heavy furs. Of course, they were for protection from the elements, not fashion statement.

Every one of them stopped what they were doing to gawk at him. His way of dress made him stand out, but that wasn’t it. Steve had always prided himself on being tough, strong like his father. But these people, even the youngest were much stronger, faster, harder.

He saw a little girl no more than ten stare at him, a look on her face angry enough he thought she might try to slit his throat.

None of these people had done anything wrong, none rebelled, none fought wars, but they lived here in the frozen lands because of choices their earlier generations had made. The banishment was meant as an extinction, but somehow by some chance they’d survived.

“Pity I was really hoping the Queen was going to chop your head off.” One of the guards shoved his shoulder as they neared his boat.

“Aye.” The other shoved his back. “This one has some meat on him, would’ve made for a fine stew.”

“Stew?” Steve looked over his shoulder.

Both men started laughing, their shoulders bouncing up and down with each chuckle.

“That’s right pretty boy.” The just got a foot in the boat when hard hands hit his back, his shin caught, and he fell forward into the wood. “We eat each up out here. Raw and bloodied.”

The man flashed his teeth at Steve and made a crunching noise.

“Tell your friends.” The other brought his boot up on the boat and kicked him off into the water. “You pretty Kingdom folk our are favorite dinner guests.”

Both men chuckled as they licked their lips. Steve knew they were joking, or at least hoped as much. He picked up his oar and began to row across the sea.

Soon the village vanished from view. Steve tried not to think about the icy waters below him, the danger in the small boat breaking, drowning into the cold abyss. He knew coming out here was a risk, but he had no other option.

That was his first time seeing the ice-queen. He’d heard her described as exotic, plain, short, tall, feminine, manish, dark, light and every other possible descriptor. Nobody south of here had ever really laid eyes on her. The warring descriptions were an enigma. She was an enigma.

He saw the red comet, he knew what it had meant. Nobody believed him and insisted it was folk lore. But Steve was always a believer.

She may have rolled her eyes, chuckled a little, but she wasn’t on the floor in hysterics at his suggestion. That comet meant something that night.

By the time he reached the other side of the water, the rise in temperature was noticeable. His horse remained untouched. Steve didn’t bother dragging the boat, the weight would slow them down too much and it was still a several hour ride to his encampment.

“I have faith.” He rubbed his horse’s neck as he untied her from the tree. “She will help us.”

“The pansy boy is gone.” Bucky, your guard and second in command came back into the room.

“You’re not really considering giving him aid?” Sam, your guard and third was close behind him. “The nerve of him, walking in here like the two of you are equals.”

“I’m no better than anyone else.” You crossed your arms. “His proposal was interesting.”

“You look beautiful by the way.” Sam looked you up and down. “Like a true queen.”

“It was my mother’s.” You smoothed down the thick light blue gown, the matching cloak over your shoulders. “I should change.”

Your scouts spotted the visitor long before his arrival. You wanted to look the regal part but were much more used to dressing in the same manner as everyone else.

“You should have killed him.” Bucky was never one for pleasantries. “I would’ve done it. Taken his head back to his men myself.”

“We’re not barbarians.” You smiled at your men. “Besides, he let some rumors slip. If we are going to take back the kingdom we may need ally’s.”

“That’s not the plan.” Bucky made a fist. “We let them battle each other. Swoop in and take out the tired victor. It’s days away. All the troops are ready.”

“Did that man strike you as an oppressor?” You walked toward the door. “One who wishes to keep us locked up here?”

“He struck me as desperate.” Sam added. “And a bit delusional.”

When the winter winds hit you, you tightened the cloak. Bucky and Sam walked behind as your greeted a few of your people on your walk.

“You look stunning!” A little girl yelled. “A true queen!”

“Delusional?” You waved and shook some hands. “What makes you say that?”

You arrived at the ice cliff that protected your village from further elements, walking around the edge to the opening in the mountain side.

“The promises he made. Does he really think his people will bend the knee to you? Recognize you as their leader? It would never be that simple.” Sam and Bucky followed you into the darkness of the cave.

“Thor? Loki? Hela?” You walked further. “It’s alright. You can come out now.”

You stopped walking, deep enough it was pitch black.

“No. It wouldn’t.” You sighed. “But he confirmed they know we’re plotting our return.”

The dark began to fade as red filled the area, the crawling almost shaking the mountain.

“I am so sorry you had to hide.” You went toward the giant head, putting your hand on Thor’s nose when he came into view. “It seems more people are aware of your existence than I imagined. But that’s alright. I think it’s time we introduced you three to the world.”

There was a low screech from Hela as a shot of fire came out of her mouth. You saw Bucky and Sam in the glow, getting better at hiding their terror, but not so much you couldn’t see it on their faces.

“Just think.” You walked around to Thor’s back, climbing on board as he dipped his wing. “You two look that scared and they’re on our side. Just imagine what the enemy will face.”

“Scared?” Sam sounded shocked.

“Me? Scared?” Bucky scoffed. “Never.”

“Right.” You leaned down to Thor as he began to crawl forward.

You were certain Steve Rogers was out of view. Thor raced through the cave until the daylight came and then moved to flight. You held on as he took you up, up, up. Loki and Hela right behind you.

Your people were used to seeing the dragons and paid no attention to your little flight.

You’d always planned on taking your them south, but forever envisioned it as a hostile trip. Never once anticipating an invitation, let alone the opportunity to be seen as a savior.

Thor dipped down into an ice cavern, flying along the frozen rivers. Loki and Hela screeched at each other behind you.

The dragons, your people, you, none knew what it felt like to feel warmth surround them. Always living in the snow and ice. You wanted more for them. Maybe Steve Roger’s welcoming was the start.

Thor shot up in the air and you held on tighter, bracing yourself to his back as he flew up the side of a glacier.

Then again, maybe Bucky was right. You were heading down either way. Who was Steve Rogers to deserve your trust?

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #marvel au #avengers au #dragons #fantasy #steve rogers au

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solange-lol · 5 years ago

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Solangelo Fic Awards 2020 - Voting!

Happy February! This year we recieved 54 fics!!!!!! Thank you so much to everyone who submitted a fic. If you did not get a chance to nominate a fic, theres always next year! theres also two polls at the end relating to this event if you wouldn’t mind answering

Thank you so much to @buoyantsaturn and @bookplush for helping me out this year!!!! I’ve been crazy busy this month and they stepped in and did half the work for me so thank you so much this would not get out as early if it did if it wasn’t for them!!

I have composed this list of the qualified fics into one poll. The following rules correlate for the voting:

Voting Rules & Guidelines:

The voting will close on February 13th so I have time to compose the list of winners to be announced on February 14th in time for Valentine’s day.

If one of your works has been submitted, you can promote/mention this to your followers, however no bribing is allowed (i.e. follow backs, money, etc)

No blackmailing other contestants, you all deserve a chance

There is prize to this contest besides (i guess??) satisfaction, so dont get too worked up over it

You aren’t required to vote if you have been nominated, though it is heavily recommended

If you have been nominated, you are allowed to vote for yourself. Just please also be considerate to others and vote for each category!

This is all just friendly competition, so everyone have fun! ANd be sure to show the writers some love <3

In the case that you see someone disrespecting the rules & guidelines, please contact me with the user. I will handle it from there.

(Because i have to insure that you are only voting once to make it fair to others, you will be required to sign into Google. Your email will not be collected and information will not be leaked. If you are still uncomfortable, message me your vote and I will record it)

Click This Link to Vote (Nominations Below)

please notify me of any inconveniences from the links, if you believe a fic has been placed in the wrong category, or if your desired fic does not show up in the poll.

Best Angst

words only get through if they’re sharp by soleilangel

Heal Thyself: Do Not Harm by Mission2Marzipan

Don't Let Go. by deathboy-and-solace/LWritesx (@xthis-rebelle)

Like All Little Children Love Pennies by butwhatifdragons

Come Home by biancadiangeno (@feistiest)

the stars and the nothing by @rosyredlipstick

Death and All His Friends by @buoyantsaturn

i want roses set on fire by soleilangel

Best AU

War of Shadows by @rubyhonor

The Louvre by @buoyantsaturn

Perfect Places by @buoyantsaturn

The Shades of Reassimilation by @peachcitt / @pessimistic-writer

he loves me, he loves me not by wordsofink

Summer Lovin’ by @solange-lol

i guess hot angsty loner boys ARE will's type by @unwieldyink / @bookplush

Nothing I Wouldn’t Do For You by @buoyantsaturn

the ghost king and the background dude by evalinh

Best Canon/Reality

Brian In A Blender by MurkyMuse

Kingdom by the Sea by deathofsanity

Out of Order by @buoyantsaturn

Rhyme Crime by dragon_with_a_teacup

When I Grow Up I Want to Be... by Erikthonius

The Aphrodite Cabin Represents by flippednique

Life Goes On by stubborn_jerk (@stubbornjerk)

You’re Absolutely Ridiculous by @unwieldyink / @bookplush

Best Chaptered (Finished)

Logolepsy by @distantdreaming

Look Me In The Eye by SpencerMalloy (@spencerwritestuff)

falling into place by wordsofink

Healing the Dark by Musicaldoctor1819

The Sickly Sweet Holidays Keep Me in Bed by @buoyantsaturn

heart and soul :) by wordsofink

Best Chaptered (Unfinished)

Bibliophile by @as-sweetas-suga

I Wanna Get Better by Delta_Rose

Not So Typical Love Song by @solange-lol

A Place in the Sun by @sentimentalscribe

Message Received by @buoyantsaturn

Best Fluff

Kisses That Don't Happen On Ferris Wheels by SpencerMalloy (@spencerwritestuff)

morning dew by sunshine_daises_daffodils

Sickeningly sweet like honey by @vlindervin7

Solangelo Advent by wordsofink

Hershey’s Kiss by @unwieldyink / @bookplush

10:37pm by @buoyantsaturn

Best Slowburn

bitter(sweet) by @rosyredlipstick

everything but you by wordsofink

gwillym by FaiKazahaya (@songofthewinterspirit)

How To Be by @kazymyrz

it was summer when i saw your face by @skatefast-eatgrass

Best Smut

author’s notes by @cae-su-ra

Maiden Voyage by @gatesofember

Tell Me What You Want To Do To Me by @gatesofember

Starting the New Year with a Bang by @malkuthe

Who Actually Cares? Part II! (Prompts) Chapter 149: As Hickeys Fade, Fade by GoldenEmpire

Best Gift

Love me, Love Me by @buoyantsaturn for @bookplush

as the world keeps spinning ‘round by @significant-what for @vlindervin7

sock monkey revenge (baby i'm wild fur you) by @elibeeli for @buoyantsaturn

it's you and me, i know it's my destiny by @elibeeli for @buoyantsaturn

all I knead by wordsofink for @buoyantsaturn

Best Series

Quiz-Verse by @sentimentalscribe

soccer mom au by @significant-what

Lovebug by @buoyantsaturn

after the war by Delta_Rose

STS (Scratching the Surface) by Pey119

I’m in Hell by @buoyantsaturn

I do my best to find blog urls for all the authors if they have one, but if you know the tumblrs of any authors that I didn’t tag, please tag them or send this to them!

If you have any questions, either message me, submit it and I will contact you, or put it in an ask and I will respond Any and all posts relating to this will be tagged with “lizs solangelo fic awards.” Good luck to all!

#solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #pjo #heros of olympus #lizs solangelo fic awards

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