#the diary revision project

[aronarchy]

A copy of the first reading list, if you dislike clicking on Google docs links:

The liberal news media is working overtime to silence Palestinian voices. As we sit thousands of miles away, witnessing the massacre through social media, the least we can do is educate ourselves and work to educate others. Apartheid threatens all of us, and just to reiterate, anti-Zionism ≠ antisemitism.

Academic Works, Poetry and Memoirs

The Revolution of 1936-1939 in Palestine: Background, Details, and Analysis, Ghassan Kanafani (1972)

Palestinians: From Peasants to Revolutionaries, Rosemary Sayegh (1979)

Popular Resistance in Palestine: A History of Hope and Empowerment, Mazin Qumsiyeh (2011)

My Life in the PLO: The Inside Story of the Palestinian Struggle, Shafiq al-Hout and Jean Said Makdisi (2019)

My People Shall Live, Leila Khaled (1971)

Poetry of Resistance in Occupied Palestine, translated by Sulafa Hijjawi (Baghdad, Ministry of Culture and Guidance, 1968)

On Palestine by Ilan Pappé and Noam Chomsky (2015)

Gaza in Crisis: Reflections on the US-Israeli War Against the Palestinians, Noam Chomsky and Ilan Pappé (2013)

The Politics of Dispossession: The Struggle for Palestinian Self-Determination, 1969-1994, Edward W. Said (2012)

Queer Palestine and the Empire of Critique, Sa’ed Atshan (2020)

Stone Men: The Palestinians Who Built Israel, Andrew Ross (2019)

Ten Myths About Israel, Ilan Pappé (2017)

Blaming the Victims: Spurious Scholarship and the Palestinian Question, Christopher Eric Hitchens and Edward W. Said (2001)

Palestinian Walks: Notes on a Vanishing Landscape, Raja Shehadeh (2010)

The Gun and the Olive Branch: The Roots of Violence in the Middle East, David Hirst (1977)

Gaza: An Inquest into Its Martyrdom, Norman Finkelstein (2018)

Fateful Triangle: The United States, Israel and the Palestinians, Noam Chomsky (1983)

Israel and Palestine: Reappraisals, Revisions, Refutations, Avi Shlaim (2010)

Politicide: Ariel Sharon’s War Against the Palestinians, Baruch Kimmerling (2006)

The Holocaust Industry: Reflections on the Exploitation of Jewish Suffering, Norman G. Finkelstein (2015)

Light in Gaza: Writings Born of Fire, Jehad Abusalim (2022)

Nakba: Palestine, 1948, and the Claims of Memory, Ahmad H. Sa’di and Lila Abu-Lughod (2007)

Peace and its discontents: Essays on Palestine in the Middle East peace process, Edward W. Said (2012)

Three Poems by Yahya Hassan

Articles, Papers & Essays

“Palestinian history doesn’t start with the Nakba” by PYM (May, 2023) 

“What the Uprising Means,” Salim Tamari (1988)

“The Palestinians’ inalienable right to resist,” Louis Allday (2021)

“Liberating a Palestinian Novel from Israeli Prison,” Danya Al-Saleh and Samar Al-Saleh (2023) 

Women, War, and Peace: Reflections from the Intifada, Nahla Abdo (2002)

“A Place Without a Door” and “Uncle Give me a Cigarette”—Two Essays by Palestinian Political Prisoner, Walid Daqqah (2023)

“Live Like a Porcupine, Fight Like a Flea,” A Translation of an Article by Basel Al-Araj

Films & Video Essays

Fedayin: Georges Abdallah’s Fight (2021)

Naila and the Uprising (2017)

Off Frame AKA Revolution Until Victory (2015)

Tell Your Tale Little Bird (1993)

The Time That Remains (2009)

“The Present” (short film) (2020)

“How Palestinians were expelled from their homes”

Louis Theroux: The Ultra Zionists (2011)

Born in Gaza (2014)

5 Broken Cameras (2011)

Little Palestine: Diary of a Siege (2021)

Al-Nakba: The Palestinian catastrophe - Episode 1 | Featured Documentary

Organisations to donate to

Palestine Red Crescent Society - https://www.palestinercs.org/en

Anera - https://support.anera.org/a/palestine-emergency

Palestinian American Medical Association - https://palestinian-ama.networkforgood.com/projects/206145-gaza-medical-supplies-oct-2023

You First Gaza - https://donate.gazayoufirst.org/

MAP - Medical Aid for Palestinians - https://www.map.org.uk/donate/donate

United Nations Relief and Works Agency - https://donate.unrwa.org/-landing-page/en_EN

Palestine Children’s Relief Fund - https://www.pcrf.net/   

Doctors Without Borders - https://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/what-we-do/where-we-work/palestine

AP Fact Check

https://apnews.com/article/israel-hamas-gaza-misinformation-fact-check-e58f9ab8696309305c3ea2bfb269258e

This list is not exhaustive in any way, and is a summary of various sources on the Internet. Please engage with more ethical, unbiased sources, including Decolonize Palestine and this list compiled by the Palestinian Youth Movement.

[winryrockbellwannabe]

study diaries - 07/October

things i've done today:

- made pancakes :)) - group meeting for business project - revised topic 1 for imagiology, started reading topic 2 - driving theory class (had too much anxiety to ask how the online classes work, so now i'll have to ask on wednesday - urgent)

[rainboq]

Meowdy!

I just wanted to start by saying that I adore Statistics and Purity Through a Prism.

Do you have any general advice you can give to less experienced writers? I’m also hella into making LiS fics, but I’m still trying to find my footing. Plus most of my projects fizzle out around chapter 5, and I’m not sure how to get momentum back after taking a break 😂🥰 how do you write stories that go for so long?

Thanks!

First of all thank you very much for enjoying my fanfics! I'm sorry that I haven't updated anything in a while, life and original fiction projects have pretty much taken over (I'll be self publishing a novel in the next few months).

For general advice, consider the following.

Keep an idea diary. Write down your ideas, just because you have nothing to go with it doesn't mean you won't later and don't be afraid to mash things together.

Learn about story telling as a craft. Study any and every medium and think about how to apply their lessons to word smithing. I highly recommend Every Frame a Painting, Thomas Flight, Hello Future Me, and Ellen Brock.

Read everything twice. Once for pleasure, once to tear it apart to figure out how the sausage is made. Dissect word choice, structure, pacing, foreshadowing, all of it. If you want to get better as an author, get better at media analysis.

Ask yourself why a project fizzles out. Did you lose sight of your original goal? Is it not turning out the way you hoped? Can you not remember where you wanted it to go? I tend to write with a few very specific scenes fixed in my head and I need to massage the characters to make those scenes happen and make sense. For Prism that was Kate and Chloe's clifftop kiss. Everything after that was kinda ad-libbed.

Embrace failure. Enjoy failure. Fail faster. As the Frizz would say: take chances, make mistakes, and get messy! You will learn more from your mistakes than from your successes. It's okay to be disappointed and upset when things don't go your way, but then dust yourself off and figure out what went wrong where and learn your lessons. (Just because you can write a novel in 3 months doesn't mean you should)

Your ideas are crap. It's okay, mine are too. Ideas always suck, they become good when you actually write the stories and find your blind spots. Make it work in the edit. You can change things right up until you publish, so play around and have fun.

It's okay to not finish projects. Use them as learning experiences. Practice writing better and better hooks. Find character's voices. Toy around with premises.

Practice with a purpose. With everything you write, pick something you want to focus on. Dialogue, pacing, structure, action, word play, imagery, etc. Pick something, study, execute.

Keep it simple. Elevator pitches are 30 words or less. If you can't summarize the crux of your story simply and succinctly, consider revising your idea to make it less complicated. Prism's premise is literally "What if Max never went to Blackwell". Statistic's premise is "What if Chloe was a homeless trans girl dealing for Frank". Complicated premises aren't bad, but they make executing much harder, and you don't need them to tell a good story.

Don't stop. Always be reading, writing, and thinking. Your creativity is a muscle, work it out. Hit the brain gym regularly with focus and intent and you'll see the growth.

I hope these help and good luck!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Lol.

Yeah… the more news that comes out just confirms more of what I thought. This unnamed character who moves from HYBE to ADOR, and mere weeks later, HYBE gets a ‘tip-off’ and all the incriminating documents are in his work diaries where he narrates things MHJ has supposedly said, including that she believes that Bang establishing BTS or groups with the same cache as BTS, was him copying her…. Everything that’s found in his documents is almost clinically incendiary lmao. Like, weapons-grade rage bait. Partly because of how bizarre it is. And the sinker - they tie it to Min Heejin supposedly wanting more money. MHJ has meanwhile released another, stronger statement refuting the allegations about trying to stage a management takeover, or artists contract leaks etc.

Of course, the discourse about this is going to develop predictably, especially after the mention of BTS and other groups MHJ supposedly says copied her.

This has all the makings of one thing and only one thing, to me. It doesn’t change my opinion about Bang PD but it does make me revise my view on Min Heejin, she’s a bit more naive than I assumed her to be. I feel a bit sorry for her, because she’s been got. Again. It’s similar to the ig situation that also started with ‘a gift’ her ‘friend from SM’ gave her to congratulate her on launching ADOR - a gift that ended up being the most damning controversy that almost sunk the group. A controversy where the primary demand was for her to leave NewJeans and HYBE. Now, a ‘right-hand man’ transfers from HQ to her team and it’s his uncorroborated narrations that match what’s in the ‘tip-off’… the demands are the same.

I like MHJ, but I’ve always watched her with caution because in Korea, no woman makes it to the c-suite without making a shit tonne of enemies. Imagine it to be triple the amount a regular working class man makes on his way up the ladder, because that kind of status in Korea is something you’re either born into, or born close to. It’s rare for working class men to work their way up and even more rare for women. In fact, I’d say it’s an aberration.

I see all the flack MHJ gets for being a narcissistic bitch, wanting to constantly assert ownership of her ideas, wanting to be widely associated with her successful projects, etc. I see people irritated by her arrogance, but full disclosure, I like her for it. For several reasons, but one reason is that in her environment, the default is to let your male superiors take credit for your work. It happens in corporate environments all over the world, but in Korea it’s a mentality entrenched in the DNA. Pushing against that earns you enemies every time you speak, by default. But I suspect that’s how she worked her way up from being a graphic designer to having a seat on the board of directors at SM Entertainment before leaving when they wouldn’t give her more autonomy. So, in my eyes, she’s got spunk. But also, now I see she’s clumsy.

Oftentimes with corporate drama, there’s no point using moral language because it’s just business. You either pitched the best deal or you didn’t. You either fucked up or you didn’t. It’s cold numbers and rationality - business. But… there are some cases where it’s not really about the business, cases where it’s personal.

I don’t have meaningful insider information, I’m reading the press releases and ‘leaks’ along with everyone else, so I can’t be certain and that’s why I’m talking in this long-winded ramble without coming right out to say exactly what I think. What I’ll say though is that this is less about NewJeans and more about Min Heejin. And she’s the first person who should’ve understood that and taken necessary precautions.

Clearly, it doesn’t look like she has, and in that sense she has no one but herself to blame. She’s being stupid, in fact I’d say delusional in some ways, but I guess some things can’t be helped. NewJeans isn’t exactly fucked, but it’s clear that yet again, they are collateral damage. And it’s a shame.

[chronotopes]

2024 creative/personal writing wrapped

and yes i'm proud enough of my escaprils that i'm going to list a lot of them individually. sorry.

(2023) (2022) (2021) (2020) (2019)

FICTION

Aivide the Prequel. You know her you love her I FINISHED HER THIS YEAR!!!!! It's my only completed public facing version all-OC story even if it's not 100% original fiction, and I'm still so proud and fond of it and excited to continue the story one day in whatever form that takes. This year I finished chapters 5 and 6 for a total of 73,000 words.

Vital Light. You know her, you don't know that much about her, Aivide the Prequel's more embarrassing and earnest younger/older sister. For those new: a revision of a novel from 2016 which is in itself a revision of a collaborative story from (shudders) 2012. Yes I'm insane for attempting it but also yes I feel like I've learned a lot and working on it tends to tangibly improve my life. The mess of excessively wordy first draft writing I did this year totals at just over 90,000 words.

NONFICTION

A lot of my essays this year were escapril prompts, which is a challenge meant for poetry that I cheerfully reinterpreted to be about creative nonfiction instead. Wild success!! Really excited to do it next year!! Ok let's list some essays, with the ones I think are strongest/most editable bolded. They are not going to have word counts because I Don't Feel Like It.

"Change of State," an essay about moving to Maryland.

"The Internet," a kind of underdeveloped use of paleontology as metaphor for growing up.

"Eye contact," an essay about my dynamics with my mother and my girlfriend as well as the concept of 'attention.'

"Trip," revisiting a formative camping adventure with my childhood best friends, who perhaps predictably emerged as a reocurring theme in this project.

"Spiral," an essay about my nichely significant great-grandfather and his war stories of dubious veracity.

"A childhood memory (catholic school gymnasiums)," which is the first essay of mine that mentions Jenny's siblings by name! About going to Easter Mass with her family and, relatedly, visiting your loved ones' childhood spaces.

"Portrait," about augustine and i being in gay love with each other in seventh grade art class.

"What's the truth?", about my own renegotiations of my senior year of college social fallouts.

"Bad Habit," about reading strangers' wedding websites.

"Fog," about New Year's Eve 2022 with Jenny.

"Posture," which is me in senior year of high school and the act of posturing, as I had already covered the Reprimands From My Mother in "eye contact" and had nothing to say about the concept of standing up straight.

"Oh, the light!", which I would never title an essay independently but is functionally just a longer expression of that one jesse pinkman image captioned 'how it feels to be in a transitional state'.

"Purr," about one of my friends' cats as metonym for grief.

"A recurring dream," honestly one of the weakest ones, but it's once again about my fall 2022-spring 2023 experience and the weirdness of it all.

"Beach," about visiting Esther in Florida for the first time and about my larger-scale relationship with the ocean.

"So embarrassing..., or (BEING NOTES TO MYSELF AS 2014 TURNED TO 2015)", or exactly what it sounds like.

"Truth," a sequel to "What's the truth?" that is also about Esther and Julia's wedding.

"Suspended in Air," about going to Harper's Ferry and loving my wife so much it's unreal.

"A reminder:", a total nothingburger of an essay. Essay that could have been a diary entry.

"Moth," a vivid little image of summer in Southeast Virginia as written by someone who's about to move out of there for good.

"The problem of death." Escapril prompts are really on the nose sometimes, huh? I like the central metaphor in this essay that is, in fact, about death, which involves Star Trek Two The Wrath of Khan of all things.

"Desire," about seeing myself in the end of Twelfth Night.

"Simulation," about roleplayed love confessions with Augustine.

"Unexpected Transmission," about the night I found out my boss died.

"Dark Secret," about my relationship to romantic love, especially the unrequited kind.

"Modernity," about fall 2020, taking Women and Modernism while developing my own writing fascinations with the contemporary literary micro-movements of beautiful women and theys on the internet

"The absolute limit," double essay about Reconciliation Dreams Involving The Ex-Bestie.

"Surgery," vaguely hermit-crab style set of annotated recent google searches. About budgeting and planning for the future jinxing and to a certain extent literal surgery. By far one of the strongest concepts here.

"How to exist," another Essay That Could Have Been A Diary Entry maybe but has some good prose. These last two are kind of a culmination of Personal Processes i was going through in this set of thirty essays, in which i took an artistic spin to things that had been too fucked up to write about artistically in years past.

"Tomorrow," about the month of May and my history of planning for it / of grand turnarounds occurring at the end of spring.

There were some non-escapril ones too (okay actually most of them were inspired by past escapril prompts but pretty loosely)

"Visions of the Future," about imagining my future self.

"Myopia in seventh-grade notebooks," which takes a classic trick in adapting a poem from the past into an essay.

"Eavesdropping," the product of my biannual process of rereading all of my past messages with my dead friend and wanting to kick my own ass about it all.

"Attention," about the complicated metaphysics of returning to your hometown.

POETRY

"Tampa," which engages with and somewhat ties up the Ancient Katia Tradition of writing poetry on planes titled after the destination.

An uninterestingly titled anniversary poem for jenny :)

"Pine Pollen," about how (elizabeth stokes voice) i can close the door on us but the room still exists and i know you're in it

FINAL THOUGHTS

I usually do goofy superlatives for these, but instead here are some coherent thoughts about what I think I accomplished as a writer this year and what I think I'd like to work on in the coming year. First, some strengths of this year:

I still have a lot of work to continue, but writing from prompts was wildly helpful in my efforts to formulate interesting and stylistically mature shortform creative nonfiction. Writing event-first is horrible for me and writing Spontaneous Connection-first is great when it can happen but can't be forced. Being forced to contemplate how 'so embarrassing' or whatever could most interestingly be applied to cnf kind of helped me break that barrier, which I am very grateful for. I covered a lot of new ground and revisited some old ground in an interesting way, and though the above essay list is a collection of first drafts and experiments, I'm very happy with what I gained from it.

It was wildly satisfying to finish revising Aivide and bring it to a satisfying conclusion. I still have to go back and do some smaller-scale line editing on it, and it would be a much better overall product if it was plotted and rewritten in 2023-2024 from start to finish, but Aivide the prequel also wouldn't exist without me-from-2021, so it would be very dumb to not give them significant credit. In 2024 I wrote some of the parts of this novel that are the most special to me and reflect the things I love about writing fiction most closely. It's not without its flaws, but I'm still wildly proud of it and think you (yes, you!) should read it if you like loosely-homestuck-connected science fiction or toxic homoerotic girl best friends.

It was also very rewarding to return to Vital Light, which was kind of my Shrek last year in the Prince of Egypt/Shrek analogy that I love applying to my own writing, and find that I was capable of writing Characters And Plots That Interest And Compel Me with stories other than Aivide. Vital Light is still categorized as 'the silly one' in my head, but there are at least invididual parts of it that register to me as meaningful and interesting and I think pursuing the whole project is Teaching Me New Things About Being A Writer, which is the key part.

I think for a lot of college I would make resolutions along the lines of 'this is the year I finally get published!' and would scrutinize all my non-fanfiction out-of-class writing as A Journey To Getting Published while doing nothing on the get published front because litmag submissions are the job applications of writing and we all know how much I hate doing either of those things until actively forced to. Both 'somewhat goofy prompts' and 'deep structural revision of The Novel That Owned My Soul In High School' are good exposure therapy for writing to learn, to tell myself a story, to try something and see if it works, rather than to publish.

In this coming year some of the main things I would really like to do are – 

To gather up the strength for confident and well-considered worldbuilding and get comfortable with reading lots of nonfiction to get a comfortable knowledge base in areas relevant to my subject

To write or conceptualize at least one story (it can be shortform, though shortform is its own uphill battle for me lol) starring a character or universe that did not exist before 2025,

To progress my shortform nonfiction into workable longform nonfiction,

To take at least one local writing class, not so much because I think Classes are really missing from my life but because meeting people who write and are local to you is an interesting and productive part of writing and living in a place, even if they are not interested in the same things you are and do not necessarily share an artistic ethos with you

I am not going to resolve to Submit To More Litmags because I know the kind of doomspiral that instills in me and it is also not terribly important to me right now. But I think I do want to critically examine Types Of Making Your Writing Public and explore the ones I'm comfortable with, as well as observing the mechanisms behind that comfort. Pivotally I also want to read more widely and consistently, including shortform stuff (collective BOO from the crowd!) (i'm the crowd.). First and foremost, I want to continue reading and writing from a place of pleasure and curiosity and exploration – with the obvious disclaimer that 'pleasure' does not mean Reading The Easiest Or Most Feel Good Thing, there is pleasure to be found in new and challenging things and good prose and meeting challenges – because I think that is the best way to do interesting things and never kill yourself.

[all-the-stars-hills-milky-way]

🍂 8-11-2024

Woke up at 6:30

Skipped one lesson

Wore a little makeup to school for the first time

Studied Art History

Revised before the test

Finally took the Art History test

Wrote half an essay for Spanish History and handed it in

Planned the weekend

Revised Spanish History

Tried to do an Art History project

Worked out a little bit

Took a shower

Wrote in my diary before going to bed

🕓 Total study time: four hours and a half or so

🎧 Listened: Bluza by Joker out and Buzzcut season by Lorde

📺 Watched: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders reality

📖 Read: two poems by Philip Schultz

👣 Walked: 2,4km

[maverick-werewolf]

(public) Happy New Year's Eve! - Big Changes, New Focus on BOOKS (fiction & nonfiction)

Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas, and I wish you a wonderful New Year's Eve!

It's 2025, and I am looking forward to everything in store. Firstly, I am announcing a big change to all my regularly-scheduled work...

I am putting all of my Facts series - Werewolf Facts, Vampire Facts, Folklore Facts, and Mythology Facts - on hold until further notice...

So that I can focus on publishing fiction and nonfiction books, including a Werewolf Facts book!

I have many big plans for books in the coming years, and I want to be certain I have time to complete them. Rather than taking the time to research and write smaller blog posts, I will be spending that time writing, editing, and compiling nonfiction reference books on many subjects, including but not exclusively werewolves. My next two goals for nonfiction books are a book of Werewolf Facts and a collection of werewolf folklore stories.

Likewise, of course, I have many plans for fiction, as well. I am tentatively eying January 25th - the day of the full moon of January, the Wolf Moon - as the release date of Knightfall and The Demon's Fang, after many unexpected delays. After that, I will move on immediately to working on other fiction, as I have been discussing in patron-only posts, including but not limited to the sequel and conclusion to Djedar Rath's series with The Curse of Ankhu.

I have also been working on revising my personal website to focus very hard on my main subject: werewolves. While I of course won't write about them exclusively, they are very much my "thing" and my focus, as always. Expect to see big announcements on my website changes very soon, along with the release of my next two books.

As for the changes over on the Patreon, you can expect me to continue posting updates on my work and how it's all going, but you can also expect the Facts series posts to end, for the time being. Tiers will reflect this change, as well as the change to focus on my writing.

ALL CHANGES to the Patreon and the tiers:

Packmate ($1) - Removed the reward of access to polls for monthly werewolf/vampire/folklore/mythology facts, as I will no longer be making monthly posts of those and thus no polls.

Shadewalker ($5) - Added mention that fiction and/or nonfiction previews and other works may not always be monthly; I will always post about why if I miss a month, such as when working on a major project (like editing a long book). Also clarified that some writing will remain exclusive to this Patreon. I have removed mention of the Writing Diaries series for now, until it actually comes to fruition (we'll see if that series ever gets to exist or if they're just special Writing Journals I post occasionally; Deep Dives are definitely staying, though).

Mooncaller ($10) - No changes (except to previously-mentioned rewards)

Huntmaster ($20) - No changes (except to previously-mentioned rewards)

Nightlord ($50) - Added: Upon becoming a patron, you will receive a signed paperback copy of Wulfgard: The Prophecy of the Six, Book I - Knightfall! (you may opt out of this)

Apex Predator ($100) - Same as Nightlord (receive a paperback copy of Knightfall upon joining, with option to opt out), and the ability to download my ebooks for free via the Patreon shop has also returned

Please note of course that KNIGHTFALL IS NOT YET RELEASED, so new and old patrons will not yet receive any copies of the book. Likewise, The Demon's Fang is not yet published, and is not yet available through my newsletter or anywhere else. These things will happen after the books are completed and published (soon!).

I'm very excited about these changes. They should give me much more time and freedom to work on books at a steadier rate, release them sooner, and release more nonfiction as well as continuing my fiction... not to mention, on the side, making more plushies and printed Wulfgard LEGO figures, both of which I also really want to do!

I will be spending today celebrating with my family, but after that, it's time for me to get back to work, and I have so much in store...

See you in 2025!

[leianaberrie]

Finally, the brand new content!

(Ramblings below the cut)

Now that I've started posting the new content from Yibbum, and not just revisions of the old chapters, I feel more mentally settled to work and finish the next fics. Take What You Want needs just one chapter. No point starting another sprawling wannabe epic. Taking Me Over Completely has a rough outline that I intend to work through the same way I did Yibbum.

[citylighten]

Would you rather: start your current project from scratch or do a soft reboot focusing on a different character?

As we dig deeper into Sink or Swim, getting into this gang shit, we're gonna focus on the perspectives of other characters and I feel like you can't have one character's perspective (like Sal's) without another's (like Rosie). Otherwise, a soft reboot would be something like Raphael's perspective and we don't need that shit. 😭😭

I would like to restart Sink or Swim from scratch because there's certain things I would do differently. For example, I wouldn't make it tied to Dear Diary 'cause a lot of my newer followers haven't read that. I would just kick it off with dialogue explaining how and why Franco is in debt to the Polombo family. Or maybe a few revised scenes idk. I would introduce characters a bit differently - make a few new characters too.

Like, there'd be more people at Polombo Publishing [real talk, the only reason why the office isn't alive and filled with different workers is because I didn't want to design a bunch of guys in CAS at that moment in time.]

Since I'd retcon Dear Diary's events to an extent, I would make Gigi and Damiano be Daciano's younger siblings. I really been kicking my ass for that. Like that could've been such a great opportunity to round out the crime family. And I would honestly scrap a few early filler scenes from Sink or Swim. As you can see I have many thoughts about this. 😂 So many I can't even think of them all, but yeah! These are some major things.

[early20sfailingplenty]

I was genuinely brave today and I wanna tell the Sinclairs about it but I can't so I'm telling all of you🥹🥹🥹

Okay so yesterday when I was grocery shopping, my work senior texted me to ask if I wanted to drop one of my shifts so I would have more time for uni. That WOULD help me out BUT financially I cannot afford to lose £2-300 a month. It was just sprung on me and instead of making a snap decision I asked if I could have time to think on it and promised to tell her my decision tomorrow (today). So I think on it, I got upset and angry (still haven't quite figured out yet why I got defensive but I think it's because the way she asked me, made me feel like she was saying I'm incapable of working four days a week and doing a degree. That's NOT what she was saying, but that was my snap emotional response. Obviously I didn't act on it and just asked her for thinking time). I do all my numbers once I'm home and yes, I canNOT afford to lose that money but yes it would help me academically. So time or money, which is it?? I picked money, I had to. Mum agreed, dad disapproved last night but this morning told me he agreed with me. So, fine, it's decided. So then today, I go into work, and half hour before the end of my shift, my work senior comes up to me and says, are you ready? I say yes, we find a quiet room.

HERE'S WHERE I WAS BRAVE.

Okay so she asked me again if I wanted to drop a shift to make uni easy on me and I said no thank you, financially I can't afford it but also I just REALLY love my job and I wanna stay on my four days a week. I didn't hesitate, and I didn't hold back. I was truthful and honest and I was as polite as possible given how angry I was yesterday. She then said that she loves having me on her team and doesn't want me to lose any hours either but she's just thinking about me and my mental health because she doesn't want to find out that I've been awake for 32 hours between work and uni EVER again because I'm one of her girls and if that's happening then she isn't doing her job to take care of us properly. So then I pulled out my notebook and showed her what needs to be revised between now and October and what this year will be like (see below pictures. This is the PREP WORK alongside learning an entire computer software programme we will use regularly AND six online labs to complete).

And she sat and thought for a moment because I refuse to compromise on my job not only because I'm stubborn but also because I just genuinely can't afford losing that kinda money and then she asked for all of my assignment deadline dates, all my lecture dates, etc etc and I gave them to her (I don't have lecture dates or group project dates yet because I get them in mid September) and she wrote them in her diary and said that she's gonna make sure that I have at least two days off in a row for all of those weeks so I can fully concentrate on my assignments and she asked that when I get the other info, that I give them to her so she can pencil me in as needing a day off. She also said that when I get my textbooks and the platform opens up, to bring my laptop into work and she's gonna sit down with me and work out a day by day plan for the first week and then I can copy that for all the other weeks so that I have time for my job AND uni AND free time without sacrificing one or the other.

I'm so so happy, I was expecting to be forced to give up one shift a week and I expected to be forced into what I didn't want but she listened and was so lovely and accommodating and good to me.😭😭😭 AND THEN SHE DROVE ME HOME BECAUSE MY KNEE STILL ISN'T FULLY HEALED BUT IT ALMOST IS😭😭😭😭😭honestly she was so kind it genuinely stunned me and I feel like I'm waiting for the shoe to drop...

And I just.... Proud Sinclairs because I'm getting braver and more vocal and confident???? Please have I earned Bo's smirk and Vincent's approving "mmf" and Lester's sunshine smile???😭😭😭😭

I'm getting so much braver now and saying no more often and pushing back and finding the spine my abusers took from me almost a decade ago. I'm doing it I'm doing itttt and now I just gotta keep good on my promise and make it work and not lose myself in the process...

[olisun2]

FIRST POST

I have 6 weeks to work hard and pull myself together. I'm gonna be posting here as almost a diary/log!

To do list:

•finish writing a story (to be posted here and wattpad)

•make an oc ask blog

•start on my 3 comics/make progress✅

•start that youtube channel with my bsf✅

•make progress on my videogame project

•try to post art to my insta regulary✅

•revise for school

If more things to do come up I'll add to it!! I'm not all that excited to have a busy summer but if I don't pull it together now I never will

[ethereal-scramble]

May 2, 2023

Well, I'm back.

I am starting #ethereal-academic where I'll be documenting the wild ride of a STEM graduate student trying to actually graduate. I don't think I'll post daily, I'm not good with diaries, but sometimes I get bouts of word diarrhea and I need to tell someone.

Like right now. I swear, my life is a roller-coaster. I spent the past month emotionally paralysed and absolutely dreading my internship application discussion. My internal supervisor (AH for a**hole from now on) was and continues to be unhelpful and had practically told me he wouldn't have time for me. He left me to write the whole application on my own, with only a vague title to guide me and 3 papers. As a master's student, I was supposed to have help, but my project coordinator couldn't assist me since he's in another country. So, I was on my own.

But, oh my god. Guys, I did it. I wrote the whole thing - I picked the methods, the aims, everything, and this week my project coordinator approved it all. He had no revisions. He said I wrote exactly what he had in mind. I could cry from relief.

And then. I met my daily supervisor. Ohmigosh, he is so cute. And he's so nice. I am floored. He even defended me in front of AH when he tried to, once again, make me look incompetent. AH is so not-nice to me, for no reason whatsoever, and now someone finally defended me. I almost cried. And this someone is being so helpful with my stuff. I finally have actual guidance. I breathed a sigh of relief for the first time in ages.

Now, of course AH immediately said he would probably look at my application in the next few weeks. Yeah, like who's in a hurry or anything? Not me HAHAkillmeHAHA.

At least the topic of my scientific review is kick-ass, courtesy of my lovely supervisor. I think I will apply for that this week. This much I can do.

I also need to prepare for my flight home. And for my international move soon. Gosh, it's so stressful. So many moving parts.

[huellitaa]

☀️🎀 princess project: day 12!

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 thursday 6.6.24

🗒🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ today's to do!

☀️ mental

cried a little because i was sad

girlrotted the whole night because i was exhausted

complained about my parents in my diary (real)

🎀 physical

hot girl walked

ran to and from town away from year 7s and five year olds with my best friend

cucumber water

ate lunch today

🧁 academic

did my maths exam in the morning

marked my science exam (33/55; around 30 is the average, so it's not too bad, but i will do better in future! ♡)

planned out my post-science exam revision ♡

💬 social

shopping with my best friend! ♡

gossiped with my little brother

complimented and chatted to this lady in the makeup shop because her dog was absolutely adorable

yelled at some teenage boys in town and ran off laughing with my best friend

giggled and kicked my feet because my wife is so cute

verbally abused some kid who harrasses me on the way home to my friends

🎀 leisure

spent money!!!!!!!!

bought my first twice album <3

planned out tomorrow and reset day

updated my notion

scrolled on pinterest for ages gathering inspo

all my love! 💗💬🎀

[droughtofapathy]

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby

The Wiz

May 7, 2024 | Broadway | Marquis Theatre | Evening | Musical | Revival | 2H 30M

With a $15 million capitalization, The Wiz somehow still feels like a community theatre playhouse on a shoestring budget sourcing talent from whatshername down the block. Aside from an overreliance on digital projection backdrops that seem ripped from the newest AI on the market, this production has shoddy costume design, amateurish choreography even the dancers seem bored with, and truly abysmal sound mixing and design. With such a rousing score and delightful lyrics, why then, does this show insist on making its actors nearly inaudible over the orchestra? Often, actors clearly blowing out vocal cords in attempts to belt to the gods, scarcely register. Scenes are often performed on an otherwise-bare stage with only projections that are too big, too busy, too smoothed-out for me to genuinely believe a real person did them. (The production has denied AI tools in their creative process, but I'll continue on my conspiracy theory that someone somewhere used AI as a base at some point, because come on. Look at them.)

The Wiz comes to Broadway after a fifteen-city national tour, and it couldn't be more obvious. The original production admittedly had a rough book, and though this refreshed revision is certainly filled with contemporary one-liners, it's nothing near approaching the depth that songs like "Home" reach. The direction breathes no life into a show that has a rich legacy and history in Black theatre. As for the performances, even here the show falters. An understudy went on for Dorothy, and spent the show being swallowed up by basically everything and everyone around her, never breaking out into something dazzling to look at or listen to. Her co-stars all do admirable jobs in chewing the (non-existent) scenery, but when it comes to vocal talent, not everything can be blamed on abysmal sound mixing. With so many powerhouse performers across Broadway, doing their best with otherwise shaky material, this show somehow manages to pair shaky performances with what should be solid material. And that's something I rarely say.

Verdict: A Long Slog to Curtains

A Note on Ratings

[silverstreams]

Hm should probably give a writing update. I took a slight break over this past month from TLG to work on some other writing projects, because I have been very intensely working on TLG for a while now and needed a change of pace for a bit.

the good news is that ch 42 of Redemption is essentially done and I am doing revisions for ch 43. I also have a couple of other portal oneshots that I have been chipping away at

plus @oatmilfs has been trying to convince me to take part in the escapril poetry writing challenge for April so I am making a slight attempt at that

also I am 4.5 pages into a murderbot diaries fanfic that has just kind of hit me out of nowhere (probably because i’m halfway through my fifth listen to network effect)

anyways. lots of writing happening. just nothing visible atm

[randomnameless]

As im also a big rhea fan i do have to admit i also don’t like “alone b4 u” and at least enjoyed the church moments in hopes. However, i think that can easily be fixed with a few lines of dialogue (instead of the huge revisions ykb needs lmaooo): everything was normal between seteth and rhea and flayn until the eisners arrived, and then rhea started acting strangely; she started pulling away from seteth and flayn, being distant and weird and withdrawn. It can even tie into the diary scene/seteth questioning her, since he and flayn were obviously not privy to her homunculi, until the magic green hair dance happens and they suddenly understand. It can also fix a certain s support by reframing it under “i lost sight of my present and future by focusing on the past” instead of Alone B4 U. It doesn’t even need to change the game’s timeline of events or routes!

As an aside i’m still mighty pleased beach rhealeth is a canon duo and they like spending time together with the sand and the fish. All we need now is duo beach seteth n’ flayn to match them (and cyril but feh is mean to male characters so we’ll have to settle for him being a tempest trial unit i guess) and it’ll be a fun family beach episode 🐉🐠🌴

Oh,

AG is kind of an AU in an AU, but yes, in FE16 proper, I think even with Seteth who returned 20 years ago and Flayn who woke up last year, Rhea's still kind of closed of.

Like, she can goof around them because they are her family and she loves them, but there are still things, imo, she wants to do herself and she doesn't want them to know of, especially the "Rez Sothis" project.

Something like, she's more open with them than with the rest of the world and all, but they have been separated for so long that she and Seteth aren't as close as they were in Zanado, or even, in the War of Heroes.

Also there's something I noted thanks to voice line anon on their transcript of her lines in Nopes, at one point, she says this :

Flayn - "You have been working hard, Flayn. You have my utmost respect." 1,000 Enemies Defeated (same quote for Seteth) "We must strive to build a world where you need not dirty your hands in such a way."

(on pk in the jp version she says this instead "あなた方が手を汚さずに済む平穏な時代を築かなければ……" which more or less means the same thing?)

Coupled with her lines both in Golden Shower or Tru Piss - when she urges them to run away or, in Tru Piss, expected them to run away - this imo tells me Rhea takes her "duty" to protect and guide Fodlan personally.

It's not something Seteth and Flayn should do, and they shouldn't "dirty their hands" to make a better world, her own hands can be "dirtied", but theirs? She doesn't want that.

So yeah, in that sense, Billy's return and existence is somehow tied to her own duty - the one she cannot share with Seteth'n'Flayn - of watching/looking/guiding Fodlan.

And we know Rhea is desperate, because she thinks she's doing a crap job, but instead of complaining about it, she keeps it bottled. A bit like that meme "everything's fine" when the house is on fire, and Rhea has to keep pretening everything is fine, because it's her duty to watch over Fodlan, and Seteth'n'Flayn shouldn't worry about it - she's the one burdened by that, not them. Billy popping up would be her lifeline "it's fine everything is fine look Mother returned and at the end of the month everything will return to the way it was supposed to be, Sothis will fix everything wrong with Fodlan since I'm not able to do so"

and I could see the devs thinking this...

But - and this the biggest "but" - Rhea's lack of supports and ties to characters can't decently be erased by a mere "she ignores them because she hyper focuses on Billy", Rhea's close to her "brother like" figure, dotes on her niece, trains with her knight and protégée, and she'd just ditch them all due to this hyperfixation?

I don't buy it.

As you said, she could be acting weirder and weirder with Billy's signs they're awakening as Sothis's host, or something.

Maybe they could have made supports where Rhea avoids like plague to talk about the "current situation" and big events going on, and just talks about random stuff, like memories, training or picking on Seteth, encouraging Flayn and Cyril to make friends, etc etc...

And with the events of the game happening, her support convos could become more troubling, having supports where she refuses to talk to Seteth about "the demonic beasts" investigations, what's going on in the Empire and all, maybe with the final convo happening just before Jerry kicks the bucket, Seteth would try to grill her one last time, asking her to please let him in, he wants to help, and Rhea considers for a moment (with meaningful "..." points) but she doesn't and say everything's fine, Seteth seemingly abandons, saddened and when he's gone Rhea says she cannot allow him to help her again, it's her burden - (when he discovers the homonculi projet thanks to Jerry's diary he puts 1+1)

And the similar thing with Flayn would be just before the Holy Tomb map - Flayn worries about the "current state of things"and those people who took her blood, but Rhea oddly starts to talk about a celebration for the millenium year festival, how they could celebrate in the Monastery - Flayn could invite her new friends, and then she namedrops Flayn's mother who could also join, to Flayn's surprise, what the fuck is she talking about her mother's dead is she alright?? "yes everything is fine at the end of the month everything will be fine" -

And we know how it ends lol

In the end Rhea's revelation would be something more classical in the lines of her "relatives" pinching her cheeks saying she doesn't need to do everything alone, they can help her too - maybe with them telling her that both back then and now, they help her and Fodlan because it is something they want to do, not because she asks them to.

Maybe they'd tell her to stop feeling bad for what happened during the WoH, sure they lost people dear to them, but they do not regret it at all (with a bonus "Rhea feels like crap because if she never asked for their help during the WoH Cethleann would still have a mom and Cichol a wife and this ate her for 1000 years").

As for Billy -

instead of the "alone b4 u" maybe we could get a Billy centric piece about them feeling kind of bad Rhea apologises for... their existence? No matter the reasons behind their birth or heart transplant, they exist thank to her, right? So they'd tell her thanks, and it breaks her, because everything she thought she did wrong and her biggest sins - creating life - weren't sins since the people who were created were and are grateful to be alive?

I like your idea of "stop being so fixated on the path, look at the present and the future" and it's doubly nice if Billy is the one to say it, because they're Billy, not Sothis!

And it'd make a nice parallel in Nopes - Nopes is supposed to be a kind of bad AU where people don't develop as ideally as they do in FE16 without Billy - because in Nopes Rhea's all on the nostalgia trip, which prompts Seteth to remind her that 1000 years passed since she "borrowed" his shield or since Indech was last here (or since Willy died), they have to focus on the present.

Back to Billy, I'd think they'd be important as the person who tells Rhea that no, she didn't "royally screw up" since they exist thanks to her, and they're grateful + she can rest now, they will take up her job, or even better : since no one can guide the world etc etc alone, will she help them?

Revamped SS without "alone b4u" would still imply slightly tweaking some CGs and cutscenes, instead of having only Billy be present, Seteth and Flayn are here too - when she tells them they're in charge before transforming? Have Seteth with her (maybe saying Flayn already ran away, so what the frick is she doing, they should go, and Rhea nods, talks to Billy, and transforms). The cutscene when she's freed from the prison? Have Seteth pick her up, instead of Billy, maybe Flayn working some sort of magic, and Billy in the scene, visibly relieved as she thanks them and everyone for coming to rescue her. Shambala? More scenes with Cyril and Catherine, asking her if she's alright, if she needs to rest, maybe a CG of Catherine supporting her to walk or something similar with Cyril.

The final scene in the Cathedral ? Seteth enters first with his weapons, because he is the one who said they should kill her (even if i hate this plot mandated fight lol) so he feels like he has to be the one to do it, but Billy catches her and the scene goes as it does in the game.

Anyways - yeah I also like how FeH, Engage (and Cipher to a lesser extent?) represent Billy as liking to be with his lizard family, popping up with them, let it be for a swimsuit alt or for a Halloween alt - sure Gremlin!Sothis ruins the thing - but M!Billy's still on a event with Rhea, just like F!Billy. In canon they need to work a bit on their relationship, but there's no mistake were intended to be on good terms!

(even if in canon you have to be sad to fight against Supreme Leader, so Rhea must be sus, and everyone must tell you Church BaD else Rhea won't be sus, and Supreme Leader might not have a point, and we can't have that + FE16 made Billy the avatar/self-insert so they have to be empty enough to be able to pick each route and support every character)