#the deep house 2021
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THE DEEP HOUSE (2021) dir. Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury
#the deep house#the deep house 2021#alexandre bustillo#julien maury#sdb.gif#sdb:h2no#horroredit#horrorgifs#horrortvfilmsource#junkfooddaily#filmedit#moviegifs#cinemapix#dailyflicks#2020s#cw flashing#thats right. underwater haunted house#flashing gif
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SUMMARY: While diving in a remote French lake, a couple who specialize in urban exploration videos discover a house submerged in deep waters.
#the deep house (2021)#supernatural horror#2020s#france#european movie#horror#movie#poll#more than 50% havent heard
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it always makes me laugh a lil when i tell my online friends some of my real life lore bc yes i’m all !!! >< omgee weeee :3 on the internet
#but when i tell ppl i’ve been in fights or i’ve had cops come to my house for diff reasons or i used to do genuinely stupid things#like run away or smash windows#or smash anything#they’re like w t f ????#my life before 2021 was crazy and i’ve had a lot of personal growth obvi#now i just work / stay home on the weekend / occasionally travel / see my girlie pops / and be delulu over 2d ppl <3#even still - when i run into old old friends they always ask me ‘what changed you?’#idk!#life i guess!#tw personal#but it’s not that deep#it’s not something i keep a secret but i personally think it’s loserism if this behaviour is something you brag about#which is why i never bring it up#but rmbering an old conversation w a mutual made me post this
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Deividas Bagdanov - Serenitá (in Serenitá, 2021)
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youtube
Themba - Sound Of Freedom (Damian Lazarus Extended Re-Shape)
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Target Demographic - Dreaming About You
#target demographic#dreaming about you#house music#deep house#techno#trip hop#dance pop#2021#Youtube
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https://m.soundcloud.com/officialtemisanadoki/the-temisan-adoki-experience-on-twitch-92121
Recorded 3 years ago today. DJ set from me mixed on two turntables and a mixer with Pioneer DJ Interface 2 w/RekordBox.
Tracklist
Ancient Relics
Ben La Desh - In The Back
Alex Ranerro & Mancini - Gas Tank
Gradim - Dynamic Disorder
Kimra - Essential Things
Drama - Low Tide (Elinov Edit)
Discreet Unit - Shake Your Body Down
Janeret - Fusion (320 kbps)
Black Loops & James Pepper - Three Drops
D Base - Dreaming
Andrea Bigi - Deep Morning
Audio For Movement - Hymn Of Praise
Chris Stussy & S.A.M - Breather
Durosai - Boy Ant
TA - Signus Membrea
Moonee - Faith & Sorrow
Unknown Artist - Kcik 21
Stussko - Surreal
Denia - Ibiza (El Mix Mas Elegante)
Leon Vynehall - Paradisea
Alex Ranerro & Mancini - Gas Tank
Komey - Xaoc Practika
Remote Kontrol - Getting Through
Wave Particle Singularity - Quantum Seduction
Difid - Factdroid
Rhythm Section - Praise
Mindex & Supertask - Butterfly FX
#temisan adoki#the temisan adoki experience on Twitch#9.21.21#2021#deep house#dub techno#techno#tech house#minimal techno#electronic music#electronica#dj sets#dj mixes#dj set#dj mix#SoundCloud
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I cannot stress enough that this might be the most important doll I've posted about.
Meet Jafra, the Palestinian fashion doll.
Information on her took a bit of digging, but as far as I can tell she debuted in either December 2015 or January 2016. She was initially available for purchase through her website, and after a year began to be (and still is as) sold at Hamleys in Jordan, UAE, Dubai, and Abu Dhabi. In 2021 the Palestine Museum began selling her for $49.99 each, and is now completely sold out.
Each doll wears a detailed thobe, the longer one in front for their bridal collection. The thobe is a traditional Palestinian dress with tatreez (embroidery) which uses color to indicate what region the wearer is from. During the First Intifada in the 80s, it became a symbol of resistance against Israeli Apartheid, and of Palestinians' connection to their land. (Credit to Handmade Palestine and @nickysfacts for this information)
As far as I can tell based on discrepancy in stock photos, the dolls with embroidered thobes were considered collectors items with a higher price. Meanwhile the details might have been printed for playline/budget releases, likely to lower the price for better availability.
Jafra's dream is to "empower all the beautiful girls from the Middle East". She lives away from her homeland, but hopes to design and build her own house in Palestine. She grows Chamomile and Thyme in her garden, studies architectural design in college, and always tries to volunteer and help others. Her thobe binds her to her home country, passed down from her ancestors.
"Jafra is beyond a doll... beyond an idea. It's a deep-rooted tradition mixed with history and memories"
I hope I have made it abundantly clear that I do and always will support Palestine, and encourage anyone who considers this genocide a "war against Hamas" to unfollow and block me immediately. You have been given every opportunity to educate yourself and sympathize with the innocent Palestinians suffering at the hands of Israel, and your ignorance does not deserve a listening ear over them.
To my followers, I implore you to do your daily click. Contact your representatives. Attend protests. Donate or buy an e-sim if you can. We need to let our government know we are not going to fucking stand for this, and support Palestinians however remotely possible.
A ceasefire WILL be reached. Palestine WILL be free. No matter what actions Israel and its disgusting supporters commit Palestine WILL NEVER DIE.
Ramadan Kareem, and Free Palestine.
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It seems like you're a big fan of Warwick Davis, I was wondering if there are any other little people actors you really like, especially women and trans/nb actors?
Hello! Yes I do enjoy Warwick Davis! Willow (1988) remains one of my favourite LP films, and I've really enjoyed his career of fantastical characters.
Like a lot of industries, white men make up a lot of the most famous Little actors (Warwick Davis, Peter Dinklage, Danny Woodburn, Martin Klebba, Verne Troyer), so I'm happy to mention some of my favourites outside that group!
Linda Hunt is a favourite of mine - she's a Hollywood veteran best known for her role in The Year of Living Dangerously (1982) where she was the first actor to win an academy award for playing someone of the opposite sex!! She's been on Broadway, done tv, film, and voice acting! You may know her as Lady Proxima in Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018).
If you think you don't know Deep Roy, chances are you do! He's been a scale actor in countless award winning films including Star Wars (1980), Star Trek (2009-2016), The Never Ending Story (1984), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) and so many more! We owe so many beloved characters to scale actors and people hardly know it - Deep Roy has been responsible for dozens of them, I adore him.
Despite Patty Maloney's vast career in acting, I know her as Lois Addams from The Addams Family (1991)! Before my time she was in a variety of tv shows and films including Star Trek Voyager (1996), Little House on the Prairie (1982), and The Lord of the Rings (1978).
Cara Mailey is a young actress, author, presenter and activist! She's known for her role in Derry Girls (2018) and Read all About It! (2021), as well as her ebook "I Got This" - which speaks on her experience living with Achondroplasia. I wanted to be sure to give her an honourable mention because at only fifteen she's already become an activist for the LP community! I'm excited to see how her career evolves!
Thank you for the ask! Be sure to check these folks out!
#dwarfism#dwarfism awareness#disability#little people#disability awareness#dwarfism in media#little actors#actors with dwarfism#linda hunt#deep roy#patty maloney#cara mailey
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Astrology Observations #1
🩵Mars in Gemini and Virgo are very quick learners. They're at their best when they keep themselves busy with new and intellectually stimulating hobbies.
🩵Cancer placements in the big 3 have the most comforting and nurturing energy. These people are so easy to be around and it feels so easy to be yourself around them. I feel like people don’t give cancer placements enough credit for how good they are at making people feel loved.
🩵10th house moons are very loved and admired in their careers. I've noticed a lot of celebrities with this placement.
🩵Neptune in the 11th house can really idealize their friendships and groups and can end up being very deceived by them. Their friends can be very phony and not their true friends at all.
🩵Leo and Libra in the big 3 makes someone a natural in the spotlight. Fame comes easily to them.
🩵Moon in Pisces or 12th house tend to have very strong connections to their dreams. They can even have epiphanies that help guide them in their life.
🩵In solar return charts, I've noticed that when the transit sun conjuncts the solar return chart ruler, a pivotal moment will happen for that year related to what planet it is. For example, my solar return ascendant in 2022 was in Sagittarius and when the sun made a conjunction with my solar return Jupiter, I received my associate's degree. My previous solar return ascendant in 2021 was in Libra, and when the sun made a conjunction with my solar return Venus, I developed a new long-term crush that inspired me to pursue a new passion. It can be fun to make a note of these dates every year to see what comes up.
🩵8th house synastry is no joke. These connections are incredibly intense and very hard to break free from. It can feel almost impossible to forget about this person. Very transformational as well.
🩵Harsh moon aspects are strong indicators of a wounded relationship with the mother. Pluto square the moon in particular is a very challenging placement for this matter. The mother could have instilled deep trauma and fear in you at an early age.
🩵Positive Mars and Venus aspects make someone incredibly charming. They're often easily liked and admired. I've noticed this the most with Mars sextile Venus.
🩵It's so important to pay attention to your moon sign/house/aspects to discover what you need to feel emotionally fulfilled. For example, I'm a Pisces moon and need to be creative and have a healthy amount of alone time daily to feel content.
🩵Personal Aries placements rapidly need new and passionate energy in their lives. It's so hard for them to stay in situations they're bored and uninspired in. Depending on other placements in the chart that can be more grounding, it's very hard for them to remain committed to a situation for a long time if it's not interesting.
🩵Idk if it's just because I have a Scorpio venus and stellium, but I find Scorpio moon and/or mars men to be so sexy.
🩵Pay attention to what themes come up in your life during your north node return, it can reveal a lot about what you're destined to do and what sort of life can be the most fulfilling for you.
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Shifting $677m from the banks to the people, every year, forever
I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.
"Switching costs" are one of the great underappreciated evils in our world: the more it costs you to change from one product or service to another, the worse the vendor, provider, or service you're using today can treat you without risking your business.
Businesses set out to keep switching costs as high as possible. Literally. Mark Zuckerberg's capos send him memos chortling about how Facebook's new photos feature will punish anyone who leaves for a rival service with the loss of all their family photos – meaning Zuck can torment those users for profit and they'll still stick around so long as the abuse is less bad than the loss of all their cherished memories:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs
It's often hard to quantify switching costs. We can tell when they're high, say, if your landlord ties your internet service to your lease (splitting the profits with a shitty ISP that overcharges and underdelivers), the switching cost of getting a new internet provider is the cost of moving house. We can tell when they're low, too: you can switch from one podcatcher program to another just by exporting your list of subscriptions from the old one and importing it into the new one:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/16/keep-it-really-simple-stupid/#read-receipts-are-you-kidding-me-seriously-fuck-that-noise
But sometimes, economists can get a rough idea of the dollar value of high switching costs. For example, a group of economists working for the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau calculated that the hassle of changing banks is costing Americans at least $677m per year (see page 526):
https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_personal-financial-data-rights-final-rule_2024-10.pdf
The CFPB economists used a very conservative methodology, so the number is likely higher, but let's stick with that figure for now. The switching costs of changing banks – determining which bank has the best deal for you, then transfering over your account histories, cards, payees, and automated bill payments – are costing everyday Americans more than half a billion dollars, every year.
Now, the CFPB wasn't gathering this data just to make you mad. They wanted to do something about all this money – to find a way to lower switching costs, and, in so doing, transfer all that money from bank shareholders and executives to the American public.
And that's just what they did. A newly finalized Personal Financial Data Rights rule will allow you to authorize third parties – other banks, comparison shopping sites, brokers, anyone who offers you a better deal, or help you find one – to request your account data from your bank. Your bank will be required to provide that data.
I loved this rule when they first proposed it:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/10/getting-things-done/#deliverism
And I like the final rule even better. They've really nailed this one, even down to the fine-grained details where interop wonks like me get very deep into the weeds. For example, a thorny problem with interop rules like this one is "who gets to decide how the interoperability works?" Where will the data-formats come from? How will we know they're fit for purpose?
This is a super-hard problem. If we put the monopolies whose power we're trying to undermine in charge of this, they can easily cheat by delivering data in uselessly obfuscated formats. For example, when I used California's privacy law to force Mailchimp to provide list of all the mailing lists I've been signed up for without my permission, they sent me thousands of folders containing more than 5,900 spreadsheets listing their internal serial numbers for the lists I'm on, with no way to find out what these lists are called or how to get off of them:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/22/degoogled/#kafka-as-a-service
So if we're not going to let the companies decide on data formats, who should be in charge of this? One possibility is to require the use of a standard, but again, which standard? We can ask a standards body to make a new standard, which they're often very good at, but not when the stakes are high like this. Standards bodies are very weak institutions that large companies are very good at capturing:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/30/weak-institutions/
Here's how the CFPB solved this: they listed out the characteristics of a good standards body, listed out the data types that the standard would have to encompass, and then told banks that so long as they used a standard from a good standards body that covered all the data-types, they'd be in the clear.
Once the rule is in effect, you'll be able to go to a comparison shopping site and authorize it to go to your bank for your transaction history, and then tell you which bank – out of all the banks in America – will pay you the most for your deposits and charge you the least for your debts. Then, after you open a new account, you can authorize the new bank to go back to your old bank and get all your data: payees, scheduled payments, payment history, all of it. Switching banks will be as easy as switching mobile phone carriers – just a few clicks and a few minutes' work to get your old number working on a phone with a new provider.
This will save Americans at least $677 million, every year. Which is to say, it will cost the banks at least $670 million every year.
Naturally, America's largest banks are suing to block the rule:
https://www.americanbanker.com/news/cfpbs-open-banking-rule-faces-suit-from-bank-policy-institute
Of course, the banks claim that they're only suing to protect you, and the $677m annual transfer from their investors to the public has nothing to do with it. The banks claim to be worried about bank-fraud, which is a real thing that we should be worried about. They say that an interoperability rule could make it easier for scammers to get at your data and even transfer your account to a sleazy fly-by-night operation without your consent. This is also true!
It is obviously true that a bad interop rule would be bad. But it doesn't follow that every interop rule is bad, or that it's impossible to make a good one. The CFPB has made a very good one.
For starters, you can't just authorize anyone to get your data. Eligible third parties have to meet stringent criteria and vetting. These third parties are only allowed to ask for the narrowest slice of your data needed to perform the task you've set for them. They aren't allowed to use that data for anything else, and as soon as they've finished, they must delete your data. You can also revoke their access to your data at any time, for any reason, with one click – none of this "call a customer service rep and wait on hold" nonsense.
What's more, if your bank has any doubts about a request for your data, they are empowered to (temporarily) refuse to provide it, until they confirm with you that everything is on the up-and-up.
I wrote about the lawsuit this week for @[email protected]'s Deeplinks blog:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/10/no-matter-what-bank-says-its-your-money-your-data-and-your-choice
In that article, I point out the tedious, obvious ruses of securitywashing and privacywashing, where a company insists that its most abusive, exploitative, invasive conduct can't be challenged because that would expose their customers to security and privacy risks. This is such bullshit.
It's bullshit when printer companies say they can't let you use third party ink – for your own good:
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/hp-ceo-blocking-third-party-ink-from-printers-fights-viruses/
It's bullshit when car companies say they can't let you use third party mechanics – for your own good:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms
It's bullshit when Apple says they can't let you use third party app stores – for your own good:
https://www.eff.org/document/letter-bruce-schneier-senate-judiciary-regarding-app-store-security
It's bullshit when Facebook says you can't independently monitor the paid disinformation in your feed – for your own good:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/05/comprehensive-sex-ed/#quis-custodiet-ipsos-zuck
And it's bullshit when the banks say you can't change to a bank that charges you less, and pays you more – for your own good.
CFPB boss Rohit Chopra is part of a cohort of Biden enforcers who've hit upon a devastatingly effective tactic for fighting corporate power: they read the law and found out what they're allowed to do, and then did it:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/23/getting-stuff-done/#praxis
The CFPB was created in 2010 with the passage of the Consumer Financial Protection Act, which specifically empowers the CFPB to make this kind of data-sharing rule. Back when the CFPA was in Congress, the banks howled about this rule, whining that they were being forced to share their data with their competitors.
But your account data isn't your bank's data. It's your data. And the CFPB is gonna let you have it, and they're gonna save you and your fellow Americans at least $677m/year – forever.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/01/bankshot/#personal-financial-data-rights
#pluralistic#Consumer Financial Protection Act#cfpa#Personal Financial Data Rights#rohit chopra#finance#banking#personal finance#interop#interoperability#mandated interoperability#standards development organizations#sdos#standards#switching costs#competition#cfpb#consumer finance protection bureau#click to cancel#securitywashing#oligarchy#guillotine watch
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dumb frat boy - TEASER
🌙 starring. Lee Donghyuck x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “I’d ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. It’s a lot of bondage, isn’t it, Angel? A lot of… creampies. You’ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guess…” he lets out a small laugh, “I guess I’m a little shocked, seeing as you’re so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.”
tw/cw. yandere/stalker sub themes, ‘unknown’ caller, he’s horny, mentions of porn/masturbation, weed/alcohol use, unprotected sex, oral (m/f receiving), deep throating, face fucking, nipple pinching/nipple worship, fingering, dirty talk, praise, hyuck has a thick cock, cum/fullness kink, creampie, etc… I pet names: (hers) Angel (his) baby.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.1k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. We're back in the Ghostie au! I'm so happy to be able to put out a fic for Hyuck a year after the original story captivated so many of us <3
“Burner phone, baby.”
“And what would be the point of getting a burner phone just to call little ol’ me?” you sigh, relaxing against your pillows and pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance.
“Why so serious, Angel?”
“Jeeze, dude, if you’re going to do the whole creepy caller before Halloween cliche, at least stick to your character.” You can’t believe he’s quoting Health Ledger’s Joker at you now. “Who are you even trying to be? Ghost Face is so last Halloween, we all know Johnny knocked that shit out of the park. A copycat sequel is just… early 2000’s.”
“Okay, let me drop character for just a second,” the man on the other end of the line sighs, and you giggle at how his voice modulator emphasizes his own exasperation. “Think, horny telephone guy.”
“I wouldn’t call Ghost Face particularly horny, he was just a nerd.”
“I’m not Ghost Face!” he insists. “Scream came out in the mid-nineties, think earlier than that.”
“What, am I supposed to be some kind of horror movie expert?” you scoff.
“Fine, I’ll just tell you,” the guy sighs. “Have you seen Black Christmas?”
“Never even heard of it.”
“Fuck,” he curses. “Well, don’t go watch it, it has some cult following but it’s not even one of my favourites- the reason I chose the dude from that movie is because he’s a horny little fuck and calls a sorority house and some shit- and also, don’t look up the second movie, I don’t claim the sequel.”
“Wow, I love that you chose a character based purely on horniness and not if the movie is even good,” you giggle.
“Well, Johnny took the best slasher caller! What was I supposed to do? Go all ghost child from The Black Phone movie?”
“What’s The Black Phone movie?”
“Ethan Hawke? Horror veteran, who plays the hero author in Sinister, turned bad guy in the 2021 film by the same director?”
You let out a whistle. “TBH, dude, it sucks Johnny got to Ghostie first last year, because I’d bet money you know more about horror movies than he does.”
“I one hundred percent do!”
“Okay, so back to the point,” you laugh. “You’re calling me as this horny dude from some Halloween Christmas movie- for what?”
“To talk to you?” he suggests. “To uh… be horny… at you?”
☀️ to read the full fic AND 2.4k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here
👹 or wait till the fic is posted on tumblr Saturday the 19th of October 2024
🔮 see what’s already available to read on my m.list
interact to be tagged when the fic is posted, reblogs and replies will be prioritized
#haechan#haechan smut#lee donghyuck#lee donghyuck smut#lee haechan#lee haechan smut#donghyuck#donghyuck smut#nct#nct 127#nct smut#nct 127 smut#nct dream#nct dream smut#frat haechan
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Three Seconds
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~2.5k
Warnings:
Summary: Your kids plan a weekend at the family cabin, hoping to catch the snow one last time before summer comes. What you don’t know is that your ex-husband is coming along, an ex-husband that you’re still in love with.
Square Filled: single parent!dean (2021) for @spnaubingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
x
“You ask her.”
“No, you do.”
“I’m the oldest and I say you go.”
Your oldest daughter pushes your youngest son over to you who is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a newspaper in hand. Your kids have been whisper arguing for the past ten minutes so now it’s a matter of who will actually come over to you and ask you.
“Are you three just gonna stand there or are you going to ask me whatever it is that you want?” you ask without taking your eyes off the newspaper.
Your son walks over to you and taps the table nervously. You move your eyes from the newspaper to his, and he nervously chuckles.
“Listen, I love you so much.”
“Spit it out, Jacob. What do you three want?”
“We want to go to the family cabin this weekend,” your oldest daughter blurts out. “We’ve been working hard in school and think we deserve a break. This is probably the last weekend we’ll get snow and we want to go to the cabin for it.”
“I don’t see why not,” you shrug.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” you laugh. “It’ll be fun.” You look at your kids and notice a nervous look between them. “What is it?”
“Dad’s going.”
Your entire body goes rigid at the mention of your ex-husband. You haven’t seen or heard from the man in four years. Your daughter is old enough to keep in touch with her father on her own, and the other two are young enough to follow in her footsteps. When she goes to stay with him, they both follow her. She’s been your scape goat for not wanting to talk to him.
“Okay. It’s going to be fine. You three can go with him and I’ll have the house to myself for a bit. It’ll be fine.”
“What? You’re not coming with us?” your middle son asks.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Your youngest son puts a hand on your thigh and looks at you with wide green eyes. God, he looks just like his father.
“But I want you coming, Mommy. Please don’t break up our family.”
Yep, just as manipulative as his father is, too. Okay, that was harsh. They’re not manipulative as an evil way, they just know how to play you well enough to get what they want. You set your newspaper down with a sigh, a sigh that your kids know as you being compliant.
“Fine, I guess a weekend wouldn’t hurt.”
Immediately, all three of your kids jump on you to hug you. You can’t be mad at them. They’re children. They want to have fun and be kids. You can put aside your feelings for your ex-husband for a weekend. If he can do it, you can.
That night, you’re packing your pag deep in thought. Does he know that you’re coming? Was it his idea? Is he going to stay if you are? Can you two get along? The family cabin is a good place to stay in during the summer and spring months, but it’s very isolated during the winter months. There are tons of storms up north that will keep you stuck inside the cabin for days at a time, but you think it’ll be fine since winter is ending. There will be snow but not enough of it to keep you from leaving… You hope.
The thing with your ex… he was a good husband in the beginning of the relationship. You two met through his younger brother, Sam. He and his girlfriend were having a birthday party where he invited you to it. You and Sam know each other from college and kept in touch for years after graduating. It wasn’t love at first sight but you and Dean got along very well from the get-go.
After the party, you two started hanging out more and more until you were as deep as ten dates in. He asked you to be his girlfriend after fucking you in the back seat of his beloved black Impala. He was very attentive and loving. Sure, he had his issues just like you had yours but you two were willing to overlook them to make the relationship work.
You two were married for ten years before something changed. It was like a switch had flipped and he was more angry either at you or himself or at the world. You’re not sure why because he stopped talking to you about his issues. He made decisions without talking to you about it, first. He claimed he knew what your answer was going to be. Whether he was right or not, that still didn’t matter because you stopped being his person.
You tried talking to Sam about it but he said if you wanted to know what was up with Dean, you’d have to talk to him. Dean was hunting a lot more with his brother and bottlig his feelings up. Yes, you know about the supernatural but you made Dean promise to keep you and your kids out of it. You didn’t want them dead in a ditch somewhere because of some vampire or werewolf, but that didn’t mean you didn’t want to hear about it.
He was struggling and for that, he disappeared. He pulled himself away from you. He loves you with all his heart and it hurt him to treat you like this but you weren't in the life. You didn’t know the hardships that came with it. You didn’t understand and he can’t fault you for that. It’s just hard to focus on thing slike a marriage and love when he’s getting people killed left and right.
Divorcing you was one of the hardest things he ever had to do not because he didn’t love you anymore but because he thought it was the only way to protect you. It’s also why he didn’t contact you in those four years. He kept hjis kids in his life because he’d do anything for them but only when he knew he wasn’t going to be out on a hunt.
You and your kids drive up to the cabin Friday night so you can have the entire weekend up there. The closer you get to the cabin, the more nervous you get. What will it be like seeing Dean after all this time? He’s been in his fair share of relationships thanks to Sam telling you, so you wonder what his new girlfriend might think about him spending time up here with his ex-wife.
You park and get out of the car, already seeing Dean’s shiny black Impala in the driveway. Your kids run up the stairs of the cabin calling for their dad while you stay by the car to get the bags. You heave the kids’ firsts since their suitcases are light before grasping the handle of yours. A bigger hand encases yours to help, and you look to the right to see Dean standing there.
“Let me,” he says.
“Hi,” you whisper.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
Even now, with all this time apart, that nickname makes your heart flutter. He takes the bag out of the trunk and takes one the smaller suitcases before heading up the porch stairs into the cabin. This was a bad idea. You know it’s a bad idea because all you can think about is the time you two spent apart and how much you want him back. You’re still in love with him as the day when you first told him.
You take the other two suitcases and join your family inside the cabin. It’s snowing outside but it doesn’t look too bad. Tonight might be a mellow night even though you saw storm clouds in the distance. When it storms, the power loves to go out so you hope it doesn’t happen tonight.
“I bought pizza on my way up here. We can reheat it in the oven. I figure it makes for an easy night tonight.”
“Thanks,” you mutter.
Dean heats the pizza in the oven before letting the kids take what they want. They take their food into the living room to watch a movie while you and Dean stay in the kitchen.
“So, how have you been?” he asks.
“Oh, um, good, I guess. How are you?”
“Look, this doesn’t have to be awkward. It’s only for a weekend.”
“Right,” you chuckle breathlessly. “So, how much convincing did it take from Sam to get you out here?”
“None, actually. It was my idea.”
“Your idea?”
“Yeah. I know the kids love snow and I figure we could all use a break.”
“So, how is hunting going?”
Dean doesn’t want to talk about that with you not because he wants to keep you from it, but because he doesn’t want this place to be tied to hunting. He shakes his head without saying a word and you understand he doesn’t want to talk about it. Since you got here late, the kids grew tired right after the end of the movie. The sun has gone past the horizon, and you don’t need the sun to tell you that a storm is rolling in.
“Alright, time for bed,” you say to the kids.
They whine but you know they’re tired. You turn then TV off but keep the lamps on since your sons like the room to have a bit of light when they sleep. This is a one bedroom cabin but the living room has such a big couch that all three kids can snuggle on it like one big sleepover. However, right as you turn the TV off, all the lights go off. The power is cut off because of the storm outside.
“I knew this was going to happen,” you chuckle humorlessly.
“Mommy, I’m cold,” your youngest shudders.
Along with the power cut off, the heater had run its course. The only place where you can get heat is the big fireplace in the bedroom.
“Alright, you three can take the bedroom. I’ll put more firewood in there. It’ll be warm. Is that okay, Dean?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll get the wood.”
You take the kids and tuck all three of them into bed while Dean puts more than enough wood into the fireplace. He lets it burn and keeps the grate closed to keep the ash from falling out. The only light source available is the fire which the kids don’t seem to mind.
“We’ll be right outside if you need us. I love you all. Good night,” you grin and kiss each of their heads.
“Night, kids,” Dean says.
You two walk to the dark living room where you take one side of the couch and Dean takes the other. You’re not sure what to say so you keep your mouth shut. However, the cold seeps into your skin and causes goosebumps to rise. It doesn’t matter how many blankets you have on you, the cold seems to want to attack your bones. You’d snuggle with Dean to stay warm but you don’t want to be lying in his arms. You haven’t felt his arms in so long that you fear you’ll fall right back in love with him.
Who am I kidding? I never fell out of it.
“Oh, my God, just lay on the couch with me.”
“Why?”
“Because I can hear your teeth chattering, and I won’t be able to sleep.”
“Fine,” you huff out in annoyance.
You move across the couch over to Dean and slip underneath the blanket with him. He’s always been warm and it’s no exception now. He rubs your back that sends a different kind of shiver down your back, and you look up at him in curiosity. After spending four years away from him, you’re now lying in his arms.
It scares you how easy it is still to do this with him. It’s like you belong in his arms. Reality hits you when you remember his relationship status, and you move away from him so you can stare into his eyes.
“Won’t your girlfriend be mad you’re cuddling with your ex-wife?”
“Not my girlfriend anymore. Don’t really care.”
“Oh? What did you do?”
“What makes you think I did something?”
“I know you, Dean. What did you do?”
“Let’s not go there, okay? Just go to sleep.”
He closes his eyes to signify that he’s going to sleep but you’re not letting him off that easily.
“Oh, no, we’re talking about this. What did you do? Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.”
“Fine.” He sharply inhales and opens his eyes. “You want to know what I did? I broke up with her because she’s not you. Because every day I spend wondering what I did wrong to make you not love me anymore. For the first time in four years, I’m happy in a freezing cold cabin lying on an uncomfortable couch because you are back in my arms. Is that enough of an explanation for you?”
You’re stunned into silence as your brain processes his words. This is his love confession for you. He’s just as in love with you as you are with him.
“I didn’t divorce you because I stopped loving you. I never stopped loving you,” you whisper.
“Then what did I do? You tell me that.”
“You decided on your own that you were the only person capable of taking care of you. You made decisions without asking me. Just because you know what my answer would be, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask. You shut me out. Hunting became too much and you shut me out.”
“You told me you didn’t want anything to do with the life.”
“I didn’t and I still don’t but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want nothing to do with you. You were my husband, Dean. Seeing you in pain brought me pain and you decided to suffer alone.”
“I didn’t…” He swallow thickly and looks down. “I didn’t want you dying because of me. I’d die myself if you or the kids got harmed because of me.”
“Dean,” you whisper.
“All I want to do now is take you and kiss you and prove to you that I am the man that you can love. So, you have three seconds.”
“Three seconds for what?”
“Three seconds to tell me not to kiss you, and I will go to bed and pretend none of this ever happened. If you feel for me what I feel for you, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Three.” You don’t say anything. “Two.” You move closer to him so only a whisper lies between your lips and his. “One.”
He closes the gap and kisses you, and sparks explode behind your eyelids. He makes you feel the same way as he did from the moment you first kissed him. You don’t realize how much you’ve missed him until this exact moment.
“Marry me again,” he whispers against your lips.
“Yes,” you whisper back.
x
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