#the death of clark kent are you fucking serious?!

[amazingmsme]

I’m sorry, the new episode is titled WHAT?!?!

[emo-batboy]

Trick or treat!

Hello :D Here's your treat

Battinson and Cars

He is a car guy. He loves his car. It is his baby. He can fill his car with gas, yes. That is a thing he can do on his own in his own garage with his own gas.

But he does not know how to operate a gas pump. (New Jerseyans are crying in solidarity.)

Bruce gets into so many car accidents.

Like yeah, he's Batman. But he's also that kind of driver who is perfectly okay when he's on autopilot, but the MOMENT he remembers he's driving a death machine on wheels next to other people driving death machines on wheels, and if you accidentally cut them off or forget to use your turn signal, they will rear end you?! He gets a little antsy :/

The second he overthinks it, he's making mistake after mistake. What are you gonna do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But when he's in his tricked-out batmobile engaging in a high-speed chase while narrowly avoiding death at every turn? A vigilante with no regard for the rules of the road other than "Do Not Hit People?" He’s suddenly a professional stunt driver! Fuck it!

That’s one of the reasons no one could possibly believe he’s Batman

"Bruce Wayne Reverses into Bush at Local Wawa, Cries as He Calls the Cops on Himself"

Then four hours later...

"The Batman Performs INCREDIBLE STUNT on Garden State Parkway, Saves Lives and Kitten Stuck in Tree"

You think these are the same person? Please be serious.

Anyway-

He is the only person in the JL who can reliably parallel park.

He's also a fucking speed demon. (This is Jersey. The Norm is going 90 in a 55. And back to the "autopilot" point) if he's lost in thought, he's definitely breaking the law. And overtaking like five cars a minute.

Alfred taught him to drive (and is lowkey the one that gave him driving anxiety. He is a very strict teacher.) Because of this, his first car was manual :) Now, he prefers it because it feels cool and action-y when he changes gears on the highway.

Bruce got into his first car chase when he was 15. (Baby's First Car Chase <3) Don't ask me how.  Don't ask why. Just know he does. (I mean, I do have an answer but I'm not giving it to you.) This also means he did it without a license because he was too young to even have a permit at the time.

He has a hatred for literally anyone with Pennsylvania or New York plates. Why? Because they’re slow as fuck and try to turn left at the intersection when there is clearly a jughandle??

(Homework for everyone that doesn't live in NJ: Look up "jughandle" or "jersey left" and tell me your thoughts.)

He was so pissed at the amount of potholes in Gotham that he personally filled them as Batman in the middle of the night. (Wtf are his billions of tax dollars going to?)

Once Bruce was muttering curses at the idiot in front of him with NY plates only to see Clark fucking Kent exit the car. Superman could not understand why Batman kept glaring at him for a week.

I did not spell-check this. Happy Halloween :)

[cantwritethetword]

Biceps? Really?

Fic Descript: Superman finds out Batman has a very odd ticklish spot, and of course has to tease Bruce half to death over it.

~A/N  - HELLO ONCE AGAIN

Look at me being somewhat consistent with uploads SDJFHKALSDFJHKH amazing what meds can do

I've had these requests in my inbox for aaaaaages (im so sorry) and I feel like I can finally write something for them.

Prompts were:

Please excuse the typos and the "it's ok that this will be s(H)ort" cause that was back when I was like super burnt out AND unmedicated lmao so I was like OH JUST A LIL FIC YOU CAN DO IT but this will be a proper one lmao

Also lmao forgive me for the super boring title I couldn't think of another one.

EDIT: ALSO AGSKAGSKAGD ILL HAVE IT BE KNOWN I USE DARK MODE ON MOBILE THIS WAS ON MY LAPTOP AND IDK HOW TO GET TUMBLR TO BE DARK MODE ON LAPTOP HENCE THE WHITE SCREENSHOTS THANK YOU THAT IS ALL

- Enoy! ~

Tag List: @constanteyeburn

Masterpost Link 

"I still..." Bruce huffed as he lay on the floor, glaring at his partner. "Don't get... why you're still so surprised... every time we do this."

Clark, the absolute puppy dog, was still beaming after launching yet another random tickle attack on Bruce. Since first discovering the Batman's hilarious (and quite frankly adorable) little weakness, it was like crack for Clark. Any time he had the opportunity, he launched himself at Bruce and just started squeezing. And, because Bruce was just that damn ticklish, the poor superhero couldn't last ten seconds before crumbling into a flood of chuckles.

"I don't know." Clark grinned. "You don't seem like the ticklish type, is all. Never have."

Bruce rolled his eyes, before starting to stand up. "I am not the ticklish type."

"Uh, oh yes you are!" Clark laughed, reaching to grab Bruce's arm. "And where do you think you're going?"

Normally, Bruce's response to this would be a swift bat (hehe) at Clark's hand to push it away from him as he stood, and an even swifter escape before Clark decided to go for round 2 (it had happened before, and Bruce swore he would've passed out if Clark hadn't taken pity on him).

But this time, whatever way Clark grabbed Bruce's arm, sent electric shivers coursing down Bruce's side. Bruce let out a yelp, and half-collapsed onto one knee.

Clark gasped, his face like a kid on Christmas morning. "No way."

"Clark." Bruce's eye's widened as he pieced together what had just happened. "That wasn't-"

"Wasn't what?" Clark interjected, pulling Bruce closer to him using the aforementioned grabbed bicep.

The tugging motion pressed Clark's fingers right into Bruce's muscle again, forcing a symphony of strange noises, squeaks, and choked laughs out of the absolutely screwed superhero. As Bruce fell, Clark expertly manoeuvered him onto his back (for the second time that day) so that Clark could kneel on his forearms.

"What the hell Kent?" Bruce grunted, pulling his tough-guy facade over his currently anxious and flustered self. "Let me go."

Clark chuckled. "Oh no, we're investigating this."

Bruce cursed under his breath. He remembered Clark's methodical tickle monster days all too well. When Superman himself had him pinned to the floor with no hope of escape, and took his sweet ass time tracing and prodding with various numbers of fingers on any tickle spot that came to mind.

This time would be no different. Clark began with his thumbs, massaging small circles into the very center of Bruce's muscle.

And holy fuck did it tickle.

Bruce's entire torso tried to lift itself off the floor for a moment, his eyes wide in shock at just how bad it was, before his body slammed back onto the floor and flailed. His legs kicked a ticklish drum beat as the highest pitched giggle either man had ever heard escaped his lips.

"Wow you're ticklish here!" Clark laughed over the noise. "I can't believe this is even possible!"

"SHUTUP!" Bruce shouted between bouts of hysterics, twisting his hips from side to side to alleviate the torturous sensations.

"Seriously though," Clark continued as if nothing was even happening. "Ticklish biceps? You've got to be kidding me."

"CLARK!"

Superman nodded to himself, resting his hands on his thighs. "You're right, you're right, it's time to move on to something else."

Bruce gulped in mouthfuls of air before registering what Clark was implying. "No-... wait-..."

Ten feather-light fingernails touched down right above Bruce's armpit and paused for a moment, soaking in the anticipation. Clark didn't have a chance to start moving before Bruce broke into deep streams of laughter.

"Really, Batman?" Clark taunted. "Breaking that easily?"

"Fuhuhuck ohoff."

Superman rolled his eyes, before trailing down Bruce's biceps from elbow to underarm. That singular smooth movement upped Bruce's laughter by a few pitches, a good sign for what was to come.

Clark lifted his hands and reset them back to their starting position on Bruce's arm, before letting his fingers begin their descent once more.

Except this time, each finger took its turn to softly trace up a few inches before lifting and straightening again while his wrist moved further to Bruce's elbow. Like two gliding spiders, Clark's hands pulled downright squeals from Bruce.

"NOHO!" The Batman pleaded. "I CAHAN'T- CAHAN'T TAKE IHIT!"

Smirking, Clark tutted. "Oh come on, you're usually so tough!"

But, now that he thought about it, Bruce was rather red by this point (and not just from sheer embarrassment). And while it certainly was fun tormenting the usually far too stoic superhero, the fun could wait for another day.

Clark wasn't forgetting about this any time soon.

[ultfreakme]

Helloooo, hope you’re doing well! What’re your thoughts on the last issue of aosjk?

Hi!!! I'm kinda sick and traveling RIP but I'm resting now thanks for asking!!

About AOSJK- it had so much potential and then it all got thrown in the dumpster for Beast World. AOSJK should've been a 12 issue, or 18 issue book, not 6. I didn't get time to be fully invested in Jon's arc, his struggles, his relationship with the people in Injustice. Everything interesting happened off-panel and was told through internal dialogue.

I'm just really disappointed with the horrible pacing. The hug, okay I GET IT. I GET that Jon has chosen to not give into his anger and grief, but I seriously feel like that shouldn't apply to Jon. Anger, frustration, sadness- those are all the right emotions for him to feel in his circumstance and expressing them IS healthy(also his powers have been hyped up for MONTHS and then he just HUGS THAT ASSHOLE like no fuck you- you either make him power down, or you do a fight. I hate how AWKWARD that moment was).

I think, that Jon is a good Superman, but in being so, he's not allowed to be himself. Superman doesn't fight, doesn't let his anger and grief guide him and is always doing his best to be kind, right and objective.

Superman hugs InClarkstice and doesn't fight because violence is what started all this. But what about Jon? What's Jon supposed to do with all his valid emotions?

I think Tom Taylor gave us a good Superman story idea, and delivered on the Superman values, but failed in giving Jon a proper emotional arc OUTSIDE of Superman(and also sucked at pacing this), I liked SOKE because it did a good job of showing how burdened Jon is by Superman but it's very clear it's distinct from 'Jon Kent'. In AOSJK, Jon's not much outside of Superman.

I think, that AOSJK needed more issues, and making this about Injustice ruined Jon's story arc. I think it should've been either an Ultraman story or an Injustice Clark story. If Tom Taylor wanted to do both, he should've done it in a much longer book.

I'm so mad because the idea is GREAT. The fact that Jon got what he wanted when Ultraman was insta-killed, him realizing WHY Clark doesn't do more through Inclarkstice, him witnessing abuse taking new form in someone like InClarkstice, and having to free another world from a dictatorship.

I like that InClarkstice wasn't forgiven and Jon continues to hold him accountable. But the story potential for AOSJK got crushed by-

This being a mini-series

The writer being Tom Taylor

This ham-fisted Beast World bs

No shade to Gar but I DO NOT CAAAARE. I DON'T CAAAAAARE. I HATE that a very compelling and good setting for Jon to explore the idea of non-violence and what he must do as Superman in this situation got completely RUINED BY FUCKING. BEAST WORLD.

Jon rescuing Val Zod and RT Lois, Jon's reaction to InJaystice getting hurt BECAUSE of him, Jon antagonizing ANOTHER Justice League, him being confronted with a whole new kind of abuse from another man wearing his father's face and having it reinforced even more that 'Superman' isn't 'Clark Kent' and thus his father isn't reliable, his still-existing trauma from the volcano and his emotions about Ultraman's death, him realizing Injustice is set in a world that he can't recuse all on his own and needs a lot of work--

All of it. Unexplored.

for BEAST WORLD.

One thing I hate about TT's writing these days is that he doesn't take risks and push his characters anywhere extreme. It gets close, but then he chickens out. He keeps doing that with Jon. Oh Jon's frustrated with Clark? Dw it's resolved in one issue. JonJay are having a tough time after project blackout? Hahaha here's one line about it and that's it. Injaystice is in serious danger? Actually no it's fine his arm just broke a little Jon's fine, Jay's fine, EVERYONE's fine.

The man doesn't know to take risks anymore.

Overall I was just...disappointed.

It's time Jon gets a new writer and gets taken in a different direction. I frankly think he's the best Super now for a +18 series that actually addresses his trauma PERCHANCE??? He's the one super that needs and frankly deserves to not abide by the 'Super' way. AOSJK left me disappointed tbh.

[becca-is-not-well]

HI

I'm Becca (as you probably figured out) and my friend said I should make a fanfic Tumblr cuz I wrote some for them.

I'll probably be writing mostly xreader fics, whether platonic or romantic. I will write smut, but preferably nothing too vanilla. I am REALLY exposing myself here. NOTHING NON CON.

This is the only time I'll be fully serious: If I write about heavy subjects (depression, anxiety, SH, etc.), it is simply to let people know they aren't alone and to help them through it. I am not in any way romanticizing it. As someone who has been through all three examples and much more, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I've written things for myself about my comfort characters helping me through shit and it genuinely helped me so much, I would love to do that for someone else.

If you know me in real life... no you don't.

All are platonic OR romantic unless specified otherwise

Who I plan on writing for:

Harry potter:

Golden age

Marauders (especially Sirius my beloved)

Fair warning I HATE Snape his "redemption arc" was BULLSHIT

Good omens:

(Said friend got me hooked)

Aziraphale (platonic)

Crowley (platonic)

Aziraphale & Crowley (ineffable husband's with platonic reader)

Riverdale:

(This is lowkey embarrassing oml)

Sweet Pea

Veronica lodge (love her)

Betty Cooper (PLS RAIL ME)

Jughead Jones (I'm weird. I'm a weirdo.)

Sandman:

My friend got me even more obsessed with this holy heck

Morpheus (my skrunkly baby I love him sm)

Death

Desire (is it getting hot in here??)

Matthew(ONLY PLATONIC WHY WOULD WANT ANYTHING ELSE WITH A LITERAL BIRD THE FUCK)

Lucienne (I need a hug from her)

Hob Gadling

Lab Rats:

(Why is this also embarrassing kskeidhxb)

Chase Davenport (been in love with him for forever)

Adam Davenport

Bree Davenport

The Rookie:

(Is this niche??)

Tim Bradford

Lucy Chen

John Nolan

Supernatural:

Sam Winchester (my baby)

Dean Winchester

Castiel (not my cup of tea but I see it)

Twilight:

Jacob Black

Carlisle Cullen (i love DILFs)

Charlie Swan (again. DILF.)

Jasper Cullen (yes. As in the 👁👄👁 mf)

Emmet Cullen

Rosalie Cullen

Big Time Rush:

(Half of these things feel like a confession)

Logan (LOML)

James

Kendall

Carlos (underrated)

Wizards of Waverly Place

(WHY AM I SO EMBARASSED ABT SO MANY OF THESE)

Justin Russo

Alex russo

Harper Finkle

Teen Wolf

Stiles Stilinski

Scott McCall

Isaac Lahey (UNDERRATED)

Derek Hale

Malia Tate

Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Peeta Mellark

Haymitch Abernathy (I said what I said he's hot fr)

Katniss Everdeen

Gale Hawthorn (not the Canon mf tho he sucks ass)

Other random people:

Billy Russo (punisher)

Caspian (Narnia)

(I fucking love Ben Barnes)

The Darkling (Shadow and Bone)

Alina Starkov (Shadow and Bone)

Spencer Reid (criminal minds) (yes im one of those. Are u surprised?)

Legolas (bAbYy!!) (That's an inside joke)(LOTR/Hobbit)

Clark Kent (smallville)

Mac (MacGyver reboot)

I also like writing poetic type stuff so let me know if u want me to post some of that lol

[elmflowers]

Make the PMMN superhero post. Do it

fuckin bet lets go

obvious one: superman/clark kent and madoka kaname

both represent the platonic ideal of hope and both are sort of protected by the plot wherein they will always "win" in the end bc of how they represent hope in the story. what makes it interesting is how they "win", what gets sacrificed along the way (madoka sacrificing her individuality and "humanity" for a greater good and superman being the loneliest being on earth and constantly putting himself in danger and as this icon rather than human, despite clark kent very much being Human)

batman/bruce wayne and homura akemi

other than the clear gay parallels between madohomu and superbat, homura and batman are people who have suffered significant loss and have great love within their hearts, which they use to protect people they love. bruce is strongly motivated by his parent's death + catholic guilt despite being half jew half probably protestant what happened there buddy and homura her catholic guilt upbringing + idolized bestie death combo. both characters are somewhat jaded and not necessarily the pure platonic ideal of hope their bestie personifies, but if you look at them for a little bit, you go, "Oh shit, these bitches are bleeding hearts". also how they interact with their gay partner i mean best friend, wherein batman sees superman as hope and what gives him the ability to keep going because if there's someone as good as him can exist then its worth it, while homura pinpoints madoka as her motivation to keep going, tunneling her vision and essentially being the only reason she still tries to save people and live.

green lantern/hal jordan and sayaka miki

both want to be heroes but are in a system wherein they are exploited using their drive to do good. hal jordan became a poster child for the green lantern corp and basically trapped in this cycle of illusion of choice wherein he supposedly! can quit, but no hes has to keep coming back. he slowly loses touch with his "humanity" (ie his home, his friends, his hobbies, etc) and it gets replaced with his job (literal icon of marx's theory of alienation). sayaka miki wants to be a magical girl because she wants to help other people and save them, she wants to do good and thats in contrast to the fact that being a magical girl does separate her from her "humanity" (her soul got fucking ripped out) and that she does not feel like she will ever be good enough because she is a flawed person (girl youre 13 youre going to have flaws). both are driven to a point wherein their roles are separating them from what they feel as their humanity that they succumb to despair after a final break (for hal jordan his home town coast city being fucking vaporized while he was off world and for sayaka hitomi going out with kyousuke) that makes them realize how fucked everything is and they cant handle it anymore. sayaka becomes oktavia and hal becomes parallax.

john constantine and kyoko sakura

okay im breaking a rule, constantine is a dc character but not necessarily a hero. lol. lmao. anyways

both have fucked up in the past and made a serious mistake that does not allow them to go back to who they were before (constantine in newcastle, kyoko with her wish). they are both jaded people who act tough and seem like they only look out for themselves, but routinely go out of their way to help others because they are inherently good people. theyre both kind of assholes in their own way and also both seriously hotheaded. both are also extremely experienced within their area of expertise.

nightwing/dick grayson and mami tomoe

iconic eldest daughter syndrome kids. pushes a face of happy go lucky vaguely mature and cheerful persona and hides their flaws like theyre going to fucking die if anyone sees that they arent necessarily perfect. incredibly fucked up past. a deep fear that influences a lot of their actions (dick does not want to turn out like bruce did, mami does not want people to leave her as she is a deeply insecure individual). has guilt complexes miles, miles wide. dead parents. both deeply insecure. go eldest daughters!

the jonker from sanic 2 and Cube

just little guys who committed so many crimes

[lesser-mook]

I need DC Nuclear Winter Kara Zor El to replace mainline-canon Kara

I need this more seasoned, tougher/older Kara to replace the cheerleader, vanilla supertoken cosplayer.

NW Kara looks like see’s seen shit, done things, been there, experienced. And she has her own life now with this little one.

So sick of looking at this: 

Just eye candy, glorified Superman cosplayer with no impact or real relevance (Correction: She’s had impact but usually when she fucking died lol), when most of the Robins have more going for them in terms of storytelling intrigue than Supergirl, there’s a problem.. 

Cause every time she dies an honorable death or a good idea or concept is introduced for her (Red Lanter/Daughter of Darkseid), DC just keeps bringing her back to square ‘BLAND’ one.

Fact is, she needs to stop riding Superman’s coattails & do something else.

Become a plumber, something, anything. jfc.

OR like when the Viltrumies infiltrated Earth to live normal lives per the Thragg/Mark/Nolan truce

Have her raise her child with a spouse (male/female) out in Norway or something, she’s a First Responder and she can take care of situations/dangers with her powers when they show up, very lowkey.

She doesn’t want to be a costumed “superhero”, but wants to help. Then when big Crisis events happen, she gets involved in Kryptonian Ceremonial garment.

Or do everything i said.... just on ANOTHER PLANET- where a full-blooded Kryptonian would be needed. 

That’s different enough from Clark to where she can do hero stuff, live a life, and it’s not her wearing his colors just for the sake of it. Like she’s following the trend or something.

Superboy Conner, clone of Lex & Kal, serious identity crisis story. 

Young Justice Superboy, a lot more mortality, acceptance of self, also anger issues, & other lessons learned with this version of Conner.

Then Clark Kent (Prime) who was such an unstable mess, killed so many, while believing he was the hero. Dude was menace.

Eventually ended up getting his shit together and saving everyone, multiverse scale.

SERIOUS fall from grace/redemption story.

In terms of Superman Lore: SUPERBOY PRIME is how you do a knock-off Supertoken- right.

I’m going to commit to skimming through her recent arcs to see if there’s anything worth reading (Supergirl Rebirth #1 was underwhelming) DC REALLY needs to venture out their comfort zone & canonize something different for Kara. 

Red Hood is proof that a spinoff character doesn’t have to coattail ride the original template; She doesn’t need to pull a “Supergirl being SUPER” & basically be Clark.

Let her be something of her own, and what that is doesn’t have to be entirely nice or appealing, which is where her staying power is, just a cutesy female superman. RULE 63 Gimmick appeal

Guarantee you, as soon they do that, she’ll evolve beyond that surface level appeal and will blow up & actually have a stake in the DC Universe beyond being token female superman and being present in Crisis events.

Otherwise she’ll remain in the hamster wheel cycle of being a non-factor, side attraction.

I’ve read some of the Danvers matrix arc back in the day, weird but i appreciate the attempt BACK then to do something different. Wouldn’t mind if they brought her back.

Read some New52 Supergirl, bought the #1 day 1 it dropped back in 2011, hated her goddamn suit. Really liked her anger issues/flaws, & how that tied into Red Lantern but ofc that didn’t last.

The Batman/Superman debut for her introduced the Darkseid thing ofc not only did that not go anywhere but they killed her, as she died saving Superman, Superman’s alone again, which is his part of tragedy, good. 

She died honorably.............

....then she came back anyway, lmfao.

Hell i prefer Caitlin Fairchild over Supergirl

Smart as shit brawler, on the shy side, yet ironically the bonified LEADER of her team because she knows what she’s doing. 

Not a knockoff of anyone, the one & only Fairchild of Gen13.

Nuclear Winter, as simple as it was is worthy of being canon. I want an animated short for this, the works.

KARA In-Ze is in fact THE BEST Kara take in post 2000 just by not being Kal’s miracle Fanfic cousin, but NW Kara is close 2nd because of how off-brand she looks. And the actual story, like Mad Max but Older Kara..

One of the most interesting Kara’s for me in years and all they did was get rid of the midriff & skirt, the girl next door appeal, allow her to grow up and adopt a child; Now she has a real, tangible responsibility.

Something of her own. And that is something they did right vs the DCAU where she just got gaga eyes for Brainiac all of sudden.

DCAU did right by divorcing her from the EL House ( only because DC wouldn’t let Timm use Kara Zor-El, thankfully) and Nuclear Winter did right (by her responsibility not being a love interest) 

Not that a partner isn’t a good stake (I’ve suggested Kara having a family myself many times) but the way NW did it? Better than my own pitch ngl.

simple things.

[thevindicativevordan]

Any thoughts on Grant Morrison's Action Comics run? Beyond T shirt-and-jeans Superman being great.

That whole run reinvigorated my love of the character.

There have been numerous thoughtpieces about New 52 Superman, how he worked and how he didn't but these two entries really do a great job of summing up why Morrison's take on Superman was great. Morrison laid the foundation for a new generational Superman that DC completely fucked up and ran into the ground. I'll always be bitter about that, even if I had tapped out of reading the New 52 Superman books by the end due to how bad they got. Editorial and their idiotic mandates were what screwed over the potential of this take in my eyes.

Now I get that it wasn't to everyone's taste, but I cannot fathom how anyone could ever claim that Pre-Flashpoint Superman was better. If you liked Byrne's reboot better, your guy already got rebooted after Infinite Crisis. For someone like me who really enjoyed the Johns/Busiek era, that era's potential got spoiled after Johns & Busiek left, with New Krypton imploding and the awful Grounded taking it's place. When you get to the point where the best Superman book is the one starring Lex Luthor, it's time to reassess the franchise and figure out where the hell it went wrong.

Which is exactly what Morrison did. For this new Superman, Morrison mined all the best ideas of every Superman era to really give what I consider the ideal "base" for Superman. They also took pains to address common criticisms about Superman, working to correct his pop culture image. People have been complaining that Superman is "too perfect", "too unrelatable" for a long time, so Morrison addressed that. They gave Superman his balls back, and let him reacquire that Golden Age edge he had originally.

There are a lot of complaints you can make about Morrison's Superman, but I don't see how you could accuse this guy of being "flawless" or "bland". He definitely had a personality that you could describe, love him or hate him. Compassionate, but not a pushover. Clearly holding himself back, but unafraid to occasionally let loose. Flaws that were patently obvious, Clark had a temper here that could get him into trouble. There was a real showcase of anger here, of Superman being furious at the way people were treated by the rich and powerful, then doing something about it that I ate up.

I read this run just as I was coming into my teens and it hit perfectly for where I was in life. Did not want a Superman who would smile and tell me it gets better, I wanted a Superman who looked you in the eye and told you he felt that same anger, and then encouraged you to go out and do something about how you felt. That was what this run delivered in spades, and it expanded what I believed could be done with Superman.

While it totally blew my mind to see Superman acting this way the first time I read Morrison's Action Comics run, in retrospect it really isn't that different from how Superman has acted even under Byrne. One of the few traits I've seen carry across Superman incarnations in the comics is that he has a temper underneath that affable nature. "Don't tug on Superman's cape" as the old song goes. This run simply elevated that to the forefront of the character again, for the better in my eyes given I believe "Wrath" is Superman's Deadly Sin.

In fact, one of the strongest features of this run is that Superman gets actual character development over the course of the run, analogous to what Batman underwent in Morrison's Bat-Epic. While the Bat-Epic was merely Morrison re-canonizing Batman's entire history, and applying a retroactive character development storyline that culminated in Morrison's current Batman work, their Action Comics run had them attempt to craft something similar for Superman from scratch. What that meant was Morrison attempting to draw on the most important traits of every Superman era and incorporate those into this new take. So Superman had the Golden Age temper, compassion for the oppressed, and cockiness. The Silver Age supergenuis, proud scion of Krypton who cherished his Kryptonian nature, member of the Legion of Superheroes, and participant in stories that weren't afraid to get weird. Superman's wrestling with his place in the world, the importance of Clark Kent, and making journalism a key part of the character strike me as all being hallmarks of the Bronze Age. From Post-Crisis we got that Clark views himself as human and loves his adopted parents, considering them as equal to his birth ones.

One of the big frustrations for me with the endless origin stories for Superman, is that so many of them follow a predictable and stale formula where Clark puts on the suit and is essentially ready to go. Doesn't interfere with human affairs, is modest and humble, restrained in usage of his powers, it's like Clark has meta knowledge of what he "should" be, despite that he shouldn't have any foreknowledge of what a "superhero" should look like. He operates the same way at the start as he does in the modern day, and that's really boring to me. This Superman, because of the difference in powers and attitude, operated extremely different from his "present day" incarnation. Dangling Glenmorgan over the edge of a building isn't something a fully powered and mature Superman should do, but it works great to make his early days different and exciting to read about, it makes returning to that era something you can do different storytelling with. This run is the only time where I really cared that Superman is "supposed" to be the first superhero, because figuring out what that means here is a big part of how he develops.

We all know the common complaint that Superman is "too powerful" and that "nothing can hurt him" (funny how Thor never gets hit with those accusations), so Morrison made sure to show that this take on Superman could be beaten even if he could never be defeated. Events conspired to force Clark to use his brains as well as his powers to overcome the challenges in front of him.

Examples include him using his heat vision to fry Lex's equipment and escape the military, using his rocket ship to defeat Brainiac, and rallying the population of Metropolis to banish Vyndktvx. Not to say that Clark never used his brains before to win, but this run was very upfront and in your face about how important Clark's intellect is to triumphing over his foes. Can't take seriously the complaint that Superman is too overpowered when Morrison constantly showcased how even a very powerful Superman could get his shit wrecked by his Rogues.

Another example of Morrison addressing criticisms is Kryptonite. A lot of people poke fun at how convenient it is that pieces of Superman's homeworld follow him all the way to Earth. Isn't that a bit of an asspull? So Morrison made Kryptonite the power source of Superman's rocket, giving it a perfectly natural and believable reason both for it to end up on Earth, and for Lex & the military to get a hold of it since Pa Kent gave the military the rocket. That's still my preferred explanation for how Kryptonite ended up on Earth.

It also provides a better explanation for all the different Kryptonite variants. DC can handwave away the different types as a result of Lex experimenting or the different "forces" on Earth such as magic or the Speed Force or whatever creating the different variants. That to me is much more believable than Kryptonite travelling all across the galaxy yet still ending up on Earth somehow.

There have also been a lot of complaints about Superman's villains, and Morrison diligently set about reworking them. By far one of my favorite aspects of the run, was the villain revamps. Nimrod felt like a clean revamp of Terra-Man, making him into Superman's Kraven the Hunter struck me as a patently obvious route to go, wild no one has followed up on that or used him since. Metallo felt like a good synthesis of Johns take of him as an Anti-Superman weapon, and the sympathetic aspects of Corben's origin that are always there, I liked that Morrison didn't make him a total bastard before his transformation like Johns did. Brainiac got some sympathy added to him in that the collected worlds that were already marked for damnation, thus he was "saving" them in a fashion. Clay Ramses embodied toxicity as a wife-beater even before becoming Kryptonite Man, and I thought his backstory was a great way for Clark to still deal with "real" issues via a manner he could punch. Ramses is still the best take on Kryptonite Man. Vyndktvx felt like the greatest realization of the threat Mr. Mxyzptlk could pose should he decide to get serious since Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?, plus I'm a sucker for stories where superheroes fight the Devil. Drekken and Superdoom took the only interesting aspects of Doomsday (his ability to evolve and that he can kill Superman respectively), and were much more interesting characters.

And oh my God, speaking of Superdoom, that part of Morrison's Action run has aged like fine wine. I don't know if they caught wind of DC's plans for the character, or if they were just prescient, but everything that Superdoom is playing on is still sadly all too present. What Superdoom is as a character is a condemnation of what DC keeps doing with Superman: killing him off or making him evil.

When you realize what Superdoom (demand for a more violent and "realistic" Superman) and Vyn (WB/DC) stand in for, it makes the frustration Morrison is channeling much more palpable. Those two plotlines are all DC can think of to do with the character, returning to those again and again. Endlessly attempting to recapture the high of Batman and Doomsday beating the shit out of Supes in The Dark Knight Returns and Death of Superman. Overcoming these two obstacles is Superman's greatest challenge as conceived by Morrison, because both are out to corrupt and ruin the very idea of him. It's not just a physical death he faces, but a metaphysical one as well. Sadly it's a threat Superman just can't seem to lick in the real world, with more and more takes on "Evil Superman" coming.

Lois and Jimmy are great here, because Morrison actually made the investigative journalism aspect of Superman important. Lois is an active participant in the story, trying to break in to the base where Clark is being held by her father, competing with Clark for stories (I love how Morrison writes the banter between the two of them), and generally being classic Lois. Jimmy though benefitted from being positioned as a peer rather than as a kid in comparison to the two, something I wish the comics had carried forward. It looks like My Adventures With Superman is going with that interpretation at least, so I hope others do as well. Jimmy being Clark's roommate really adds to their bond, and I wish we had gotten more stories with that status quo.

Investigative reporter Clark Kent was so actively used here that it feels jarring reading other Superman runs where they tend to downplay and ignore it. Following Clark as he travels to different areas of Metropolis and actually interacts with people, instead of hovering above them as Superman, makes him feel human. Watching Clark actively pursue stories aimed at bettering peoples livelihoods, and seeing how those stories crossed with the superheroics, was one of my favorite aspects of the run. It's one unfortunately few other writers seem all that interested in, especially the New 52 writers who followed Morrison (I know editorial probably bears a lot of blame for that though).

Besides all that, this run was a lot of fun! The Legion of Superheroes showed up, their connection to Clark restored, and they got to play a big role in Clark's adventures! Krypto the Superdog! Martian colonies! Memorizing all of medicine, Superman performs a lifesaving operation! Lex using a "bullet train" to knock Clark out! 5-D imps! Rampaging robots from beyond! A Phantom Zone Halloween story! John Henry Irons suits up as Steel and kicks ass alongside Clark! Every Superman Rogue teams up to try to kill him, but Lex Luthor saves his life because that's a privilege he reserves for himself! Showcasing their trademark love for the Supermythos, Morrison took us on a tour of Superlore that demonstrated the depth and width of what could be done with Superman. Meanwhile the backups by Sholly Fisch excelled at giving us smaller, more human stories about Superman (the one where Clark meets Pa again via time travel "after" Pa has died always gives me a lump in my throat to read).

Ultimately this didn't get to be the foundation for the next generation of Superman stories as it deserved. Johns made New 52 Superman the scapegoat in Doomsday Clock for a lot of storytelling choices he did over in Justice League, something that pisses me off to no end. You want to tell me that this guy "didn't relate" to people, didn't inspire "hope"?

Like hell he didn't. This guy was Superman in every way that mattered and he deserved better than to be framed as the scapegoat for all the stupid decisions DC made about what to do with him. Greg Pak was able to do some great work with this version after Morrison, and just like how Gene Yang got a redemption work starring Superman, I hope to one day see Pak return to the character. Would love to read a Black Label Superman story by Pak that follows his take on young Superman.

All wasn't lost however. Against all odds, and Rebirth trying it's damndest to sweep everything under the rug, it looks like parts of this era have actually survived to the current Infinite Frontier era. With Morrison being heavily involved no less, both as an ideas guy and as an actual writer.

Superman & the Authority is explicitly Superman coming full circle back to the attitude displayed by his young counterpart under Morrison. Janin has outright said that the costume Clark wears here is reminiscent of the t-shirt and jeans era of Superman, and this book so far feels saturated with an energy level from Morrison I haven't seen in their work for hire since they left Action. Reaching old age and realizing he never really delivered on the high ideals of his beginnings, it's Superman putting together a team to hopefully succeed where he couldn't alone. Scathing in how it criticizes the superhero status quo, this has been extremely entertaining to read. Wish Morrison was writing 12 issues with this team, and that ultimately it will be up to PKJ to deliver on the potential is a drawback (although I've loved PKJ's Action run so far), but I'm glad to see DC finally treating Morrison and their ideas with more respect than was shown during Rebirth.

Jon meanwhile feels like an even more explicit attempt at redoing New 52 Superman. There's the updated new suit, designed to appeal to a new generation with it's streamlined look. Positioning Jon as a Superman who wants to tackle the "real" issues, with Taylor explicitly comparing him to Golden Age Superman which as I mentioned was an era Morrison tried to reincorporate into their reboot. There's the Legion of Superheroes connection which played an important role in Morrison's reboot. The rumors about Jon's sexuality are interesting, hinting that DC is willing to go outside the box with him in a way they never would with Clark. I'm excited to see what kind of Superman Jon ends up becoming, if he can deliver on the promise of the New 52 Superman all the better.

This run deserves to be remembered and to have the lessons it tried to teach respected. Probably my favorite mainline run on Superman, I hope more people come around to liking it as time goes on.

[sohotthateveryonedied]

I Die Without You (ch. 1)

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Conner stands in front of him now, putting Tim at eye-level with his chin. When Tim doesn’t look up from his notes, Conner blocks the data sheet with a translucent hand. “You’re being a dumbass. You need to start taking care of yourself again.”

Tim turns away. “Yeah, well, I need my best friend back more. You should be all for that, so would it kill you to shut up and let me work?” Fuck. He needs a pill. He takes one from the handful he keeps in his utility belt and swallows it dry, ignoring Conner’s damning stare.

Conner Kent has been dead for three months, two weeks, and six days. “Initiate cloning attempt number twenty-one.” Tim can feel eyes on his back, burning through the skin and searing his spine. If he didn’t already know that ghosts can’t use heat vision, he might be concerned. “I can feel you judging me.” “Good. My face is sore from scowling.” Conner is leaning against one of the room’s glass pods, his arms crossed over the torn S-symbol on his chest. His normally carefree atmosphere has been replaced with an air of judgement—a mile leap from the Conner Kent who was all brass and thunder, jokes and lifting contests with Cassie. It makes Tim feel like even more of a creep than he already does, skulking around in the basement of Titans Tower with Conner’s eyes on him the entire time. The shame of his actions has weight now, getting heavier with every advancement he makes. He resents Conner’s presence as much as he needs it. Craves it. “You need to stop this,” Conner says, not for the first time. Tim doesn’t look at him. He prints out the latest data report in a foot-long sheet. There must be some component to the cloning process that he’s missing. Some bonding agent he hasn’t considered. “Then drag me out of the room.” “I’m serious, Tim. You passed the point of crazy, like, two weeks ago.” “Since when is saving a life considered crazy?” “Since there’s no life left to save. I’m dead, Tim. And yeah, it sucks, but there’s nothing we can do about it. You can’t keep working like this.” “Watch me.”

“You’re killing yourself. You realize that, right?” If Tim could walk away knowing that Conner wouldn’t just follow him like a worm on a string, he would. “When’s the last time you ate? The last time you slept? Do you even know what day it is?” “January.” “This is irresponsible. It’s stupid. If Bruce knew how far gone you were, he’d take you off active duty for a week. Probably longer.” “Which is why he’ll never find out.” “That’s not the point, Tim!” Conner makes no audible footsteps, but Tim can sense when he comes nearer, like a tugging sensation in his stomach. Tim has his own gravitational pull, it seems; any ghosts in the area are drawn towards him like magnets. He can always feel Kon, no matter how far away he is. Conner stands in front of him now, putting Tim at eye-level with his chin. When Tim doesn’t look up from his notes, Conner blocks the data sheet with a translucent hand. “You’re being a dumbass. You need to start taking care of yourself again.” Tim turns away. “Yeah, well, I need my best friend back more. You should be all for that, so would it kill you to shut up and let me work?” Fuck. He needs a pill. He takes one from the handful he keeps in his utility belt and swallows it dry, ignoring Conner’s damning stare. He’s been needing more, lately. He hadn’t noticed until Conner brought it up a few days ago, but Tim has upped the dosage to six, seven pills a day. He tries not to think about what’s changed. Even if he is using drugs to cope with the circumstances the universe has thrown his way, it’s not like he would be completely clean, otherwise. Feeling like his grief is miles away with every dose is just a happy side effect. It’s manageable. Conner shakes his head. “I can’t believe you.” “What am I doing that’s so wrong?” “The fact that you shouldn’t be doing this in the first place. I’ve accepted what happened. Why can’t you?” “Maybe I don’t want to accept it.” “Do you really think that bringing me back to life is going to help anything?” “Don’t you want to be alive? To see Clark again, Cassie, Martha, everyone who loved you? Don’t you want that?” “Of course I do.” Tim throws his hands in the air. “Then why are you fighting me on this? How can you stand there and tell me that I’m not doing the right thing when I’m trying to accomplish something that’ll make everyone happy?” “Because it won’t work.” Conner materializes in Tim’s path again, forcing Tim to look at him. It’s painful to see the open wounds on once impenetrable skin, the smoldering edges of his t-shirt. Instead, he focuses on Conner’s face. Unblemished. Untarnished. Just as it was in life. “Tim, even if you find a way to make this cloning stuff work, I won’t be there. You have to understand that. You’re too smart not to. It’ll just be another cheap copy of the original, like Match and Bizarro. But me—the real me? I’m staying right here, dead as hell. You can’t change that.” Tim waves a hand. “That’s just a minor setback. Once I get the cloning process perfected, all I have to do is call up Constantine or Zatanna and convince them to help me figure out how to restore your soul. You’ll be back in a brand new body, and everything will be back to normal.” “Do you hear yourself, man? You sound like a crazy person. You sound like Lex.” “I don’t care.” “You should!” Conner explodes, his eyes glowing with radiation he can’t unleash. “You should fucking care! What, do you think I’m going to come back to life and pretend that the cost of it wasn’t you destroying all the good parts of yourself? Do you think I’ll just forgive myself for that?” Tim shrugs. He should be feeling more, but the meds have kicked in by now. A pleasant hum runs through his blood. “That’s exactly what I expect. It’s what happened with Jason, remember?” Tim goes back to the computer to upload the latest attempt report. “You don’t remember being dead, just blinking out and blinking back in. Everything that you experienced while you were gone, it all gets erased. You won’t even remember this conversation.” Conner shakes his head. Tim would be lying if he said the disappointment on his face didn’t make his stomach twist. “This isn’t right. I care about you too much to sit back and watch you lose yourself like this.” “Do you think I want you here, watching me fall apart? I know how crazy this looks. I know I must be breaching every ethical code in the book. And I would give anything to make you go away long enough so I can work in peace, but I can’t control that. The ghosts stay, whether I like it or not. So if you can find a way to check out on your own, then be my guest.” Tim turns back to the computer, his eyes stinging. He takes another pill. Conner sighs. Tim can feel him hovering behind his shoulder, a mop of messy black hair in the corner of his eye. Tim shivers when Conner touches his shoulder. “I miss you, Tim. I’m sorry my death broke you.” “Yeah. Me too.”

READ THE REST ON AO3 BECAUSE IT’S A LONG ONE.

[saintheartwing]

Lily’s Post about Mary Sues

Let’s analyze this. 

None of those series you mentioned have characters that could be labelled as Mary Sues

Clark Kent, Goku, Luke, Anakin, Kirk.

Okay, a Mary Sue or Gary Stu has to be, basically, either an author avatar or stand-in, they tend to be beautiful or really handsome, have unusual, or dramatic backtories, are “chosen one” types, all of the main characters in the group will love them or admire them and those that don’t are always portrayed as in the wrong for not doing so, this kind of thing. They tend to be overpowered as well and they possess unique, special powers. They’ve basically overpowered, over-idealized, beloved by anybody and if you DON’T like them, you’re clearly in the wrong. Oh, and everything they do is treated as good, and if they DO screw up, hey, it’s no big deal. Any actual flaws are negligible or nonexistent. Like being “Naive” or wearing their heart on their sleeve. 

Let’s take a look at...Superman. Well, he’s got several big weaknesses. Kryptonite, for one. And Magic. HUGELY weak against magic. He IS overpowered and he is mostly beloved by everyone...but he has made a LOT of mistakes. Especially when it comes to Batman. Whenever Batman is involved in a story with him, it’s Batman who’s right, and Superman who’s in the wrong. Pretty much all the time. “Darkseid is dead, Superman.” “You know what Bruce? You’re not always right!” But Batman WAS right, at least technically. Batman regularly beats Superman in several stories. So Clark isn’t always treated as right. On top of that, he does have some real character flaws of constantly being torn between wanting to do more and being afraid of how far he should go. And when you have GODLY strength, that’s a huge exploit, especially for supervillains. But...he does fill a lot of the Mary Sue tropes, so we’ll give Lily some credit. 

Goku? Well Goku is a moron. The story always treats his stupidity as being a huge problem. One that CONTINUES to cause issues, and has even nearly gotten his world destroyed a few times. He’s even gotten himself and his friends KILLED cuz he couldn’t think of any other way but to sacrifice himself or the like. AND he has serious anger issues. When he’s furious, he’s almost uncontrollable. The only person more so is Vegeta. He’s also a pig who eats too much but we can sorta overlook that last one because being a glutton is played more for laughs and “He needs it to keep up his strength”.  How about his powers? Well he’s DEFINITELY overpowered. Is he handsome? Well, he looks pretty good. And he’s well-liked by pretty much the whole main cast except for, of course, the villains. So we could say...yeah. Goku’s kinda Mary Sue-ish. 

Luke? Well...not really. Luke isn’t naturally gifted or talented like Goku or Superman were. Despite having the POTENTIAL to be great, his Jedi skills started out so poor he couldn’t even block blaster bolts using the force alone. He had to train for weeks if not months under Yoda just to get somewhat up to snuff and he STILL failed. “Don’t go into that cave with your weapons”. He goes in. Sees Darth Vader and...oh, wait, it’s HIMSELF he’s killed! You were put to the test and you failed. He can’t lift large objects with the Force. He’s reckless, he doesn’t think things through and he often has to rely on help from OTHERS to succeed. He only got that one-in-a-million shot on the Death Star because Obi Wan’s ghost spoke to him in his head to help guide him. He only got away from the first Death Star because Obi Wan sacrificed himself. Throughout the first two films, he’s just not good enough. He loses to Darth Vader MISERABLY, and he even loses his HAND. A real Mary Sue would have won, or at least held Darth Vader off, or tied. Worse still, he’s not just dangerously reckless and kind of whiny...he’s got a serious anger problem that rises up in the films, he almost outright gives in to the dark side. But other than that, he’s just some country bumpkin who happened to luck out at finding the right droid. All his powers, he basically earned, showing a classic heroes’s journey growth. So that, combined with the huge failures in the first few movies and even if we factor in the sequels and the stupid, dumb decisions he made...he’s not a Mary Sue. A Mary Sue wouldn’t f--k up that much. Or if they did, it wouldn’t be treated as his own fault, or as a bad thing. It’d be brushed off.

Anakin! OHHH boy. This guy is a whiny little brat. I don’t know if people realize this, but...Lily, NOBODY LIKED ANAKIN. Anakin was unlikable BECAUSE he was a Mary Sue. You DO realize this, right? He was overpowered, treated as the chosen one, and he was super whiny at that. But you know what? At least the story treated him doing awful stuff as the wrong thing. Him being reckless? A bad thing. He should listen to Obi Wan more. Him casually killing someone through the back in the Clone Wars? A bad thing, he could have just knocked the guy out or cut his arm or hand off, what he did was murder. Anakin murdering the entire tribe of Sand People that kidnapped his mom, leading to her death? Shown as a VERY bad thing because he slaughtered ALL of them, even women and children. Anakin becoming Sith and killing kids? SUPER bad thing. 

So at the very least, him doing morally reprehensible things is treated as genuinely bad. At least the story calls him out on this. 

Kirk? Uh, Kirk is just a random human. He’s not exactly super strong or super intelligent. He’s clever and he’s fairly skilled in combat, and he’s definitely good looking, but he’s no ‘chosen one’ like so many of the others. Has he got flaws? Yeah, he’s got a temper. And he  flagrantly disregards the rules. And he DEFINITELY is something of a skirt chaser. But he’s not exactly overpowered enough to be considered a Mary Sue. He hasn’t GOT enough powers at all to be counted as one. Plus, when you consider how he died? A real Mary Sue would get a far better and more dramatic death, if they died at all. So Kirk? Ahhh, not really. He’s not a Mary Sue. He’s just not powerful enough to be one and he’s no chosen one. 

But your characters? Well, let’s see. Rey is a chosen one. So is Aliana. And Aliana is descended from a LONG LINE of superpowerful Sith. She’s basically “old money”. It runs in the blood. Pretty Mary Sue right there. They’re overpowered? Yep. Very. They easily beat the crap out of Kylo Ren. Do all the main characters like them? Yeah. And any that don’t are always treated as wrong, like Leia, or enemies, like Kylo Ren. They fit the definitions to a T.

can never be wrong

“So are a lot of characters in popular culture”

Except that’s not true. Superman, as I’ve shown, has been wrong quite a lot, especially when arguing against Batman, or Wonder Woman. Superman having to kill three Kryptonians who had did a literal genocide of an alternate Earth was portrayed as VERY wrong and it haunted him for years and years. Anakin was VERY, VERY wrong. The minute you do mass murder, you kinda instantly become wrong. Kirk ends up being very wrong in the final film he’s in. He doesn’t want to leave his heavenly alternate reality, it’s PICARD who has to convince him to stop being selfish. Goku is stupidly wrong when dealing with Cell, he really screws up and it gets his mentor and a few of his friends killed because he couldn’t think of a better way to get rid of the about-to-explode Cell than to teleport him to King Kai’s moon. He could have just teleported him, say, the serpent bridge, THEN teleported back if he really thought the explosion was gonna be so big it’d take out the entire world but...nope! Then there’s how he handled Majin Buu. He THINKS he doesn’t have to use fusion with his son. After all, Majin Buu has just lost a ton of power! He and his son can beat him normally...then Majin Buu catches him off guard and claims his son. Nice going, Goku, he was weak and instead of doing what everyone told you to do, you whiffed because you assumed you could handle it. And then there was his whole “Okay Vegeta, you finish off Frieza while he’s all Golden”. Big mistake. Frieza does a self-destructive attack that BLOWS UP THE ENTIRE WORLD and Whis has to literally TURN. BACK. TIME to fix this. Thanks, Goku. You COULDA just finished Frieza off like you did last time, but noooo! You had to indulge your friend’s ego. Luke? Luke’s been wrong a ton of times. Even if we ignore the sequels and the stupid way he handled Kylo Ren and hiding off on some podunk island, he ignored Yoda’s advice multiple times, he took off to fight Darth Vader, and he lost miserably. 

Basically, every time these people do something wrong...it is, for the most part, TREATED as the wrong move by the story. That’s NOT the case for Aliana or Rey. Casually killing a guard for harassing a refugee? Cold blooded murder? Not portrayed as wrong. Overkill of guards at Canto Bight? Not even REMOTELY called out, nor the whole “mass forced suicide” thing. Killing Rey’s parents in cold blood when they were unarmed? Barely glanced over. What’s portrayed as wrong was keeping that a secret, not the MURDER thing. SHOOTING LEIA WITH ELECTRICITY? Not even REMOTELY treated as going too far. 

are always victims

“Can’t imagine why a woman who suffers from PTSD writes characters who have suffered trauma in their lives. It’s a fucking mystery.”

You realize though this makes Aliana an author-avatar/stand in though, and that enforces the whole “she’s a Mary Sue” thing, right? 

and bend the narrative to suit their needs

“If they were villains you wouldn’t complain about it this insessantly.”

But they’re NOT villains. When a story has a hero doing this, even when it has a villain doing this, that’s bad writing. Having Leia reasonably point out the fact that the Republic has every good reason to not trust a Sith and Aliana can’t just bully them into going along with everything she wants...and then having Aliana just SPONTANEOUSLY summon her own WAR FLEET to go “Sword of Damocles” on Leia and the Republic? That’s bad writing. It comes out of nowhere, no build up, and exists ONLY to tell Leia and anybody who has a problem with how Aliana’s doing things to SHUT UP I’M IN CHARGE. It’s bullying, bad writing.

Also, those other characters mentioned have other characters who will call out people like Luke or Kirk if they mess up. And Luke and Kirk or Goku will go “Yeah, you’re right, I should listen to you” and they have to change...or at least say they’ll try to. Does anybody in your story do that? Well...no. Because ANY objection to how Rey or Aliana does things is treated as BAD and WRONG because they’re the main characters, and thus everything they do is right, even if it’s morally repulsive and if ANOTHER character shot lightning at a middle-aged woman for a nasty comment, they’d be the bad guy.

Anyway, said my piece. Lily really has absolutely no self-reflection on this. She can’t handle actual criticism. All this is is DEFLECTION and PIVOTING away from your own story’s problems.  It’s very easy to crow about how popular your work is when you dismiss and delete all actual critique and criticism. 

[not-the-blue]

Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen (2019) - review

this pretty much wrote itself. contains much, much negativity about Matt Fraction and Steve Lieber’s Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen, be warned! 

An artist - I honestly don’t remember who - once told me, “be careful when you make art about making art. You can easily get stuck in a cycle of cynical meta and your work will have no substance.” - and he was right. It’s easy to get lost in your feelings about creation, and end up making something that’s basically feeding on itself, with nothing to hold it up as a work of art that’s actually about something. 

Few have done this right. Kelsey’s Wroten’s Cannonball comes to mind, as does Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie’s The Wicked And The Divine. Many have done this wrong - think every parody worthy “I’m a cynic who drinks whiskey, fucks models and writes the Great American Novel” type. Matt Fraction and Steve Lieber’s Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen manages to get even worse than that, because it’s not even trying to sound deep. It’s above sounding deep. It’s above being anything. 

The story - if it can even be called that - follows, as the title suggests, Jimmy Olsen, who’s friends with Superman (Clark Kent, but you didn’t hear it from me). The red headed, butt headed menace has a knack for shenanigans, and he’s sometimes a dick. That’s pretty much everything the reader gets to know about the main character. That, and his apparently problematic family legacy, from before Metropolis was even called Metropolis. As of issue #6, the two plot threads - the modern adventures of Jimmy and the life story of his “great-great-grand-something” Joachim Olsson - have not yet been connected. I’m sure they will. I’m sure it’ll be very clever. 

Jimmy Olsen gets in trouble. Jimmy Olsen flees from Metropolis. Jimmy Olsen fakes his death. There’s a conspiracy - I think - and Batman shows up at some point, but if there’s an actual plot - a story that develops and follows some kind of thread to a satisfying, earned conclusion - it’s lost between flashbacks, flash forwards, Joachim’s side plot, mini chapters, faux cliff hangers and gags. 

This review is actually kind of heartbreaking for me to write, because I love Matt Fraction’s work. Well, I love Sex Criminals and Hawkeye (2012), but I love them so much, I thought loving his work was a guarantee at this point. Hawkeye is smart, well structured, deeply personal and innovative without being showy about it. Sex Criminals is heartfelt, complex and cares a lot about its characters. Hawkeye, in second reading, can be a bit gimmicky, self important and sexist. Sex criminals is a bit hard to follow and at some point, a character being an asshole stops being interesting and starts being annoying. The only reason I’ve noticed these flaws is because Jimmy Olsen takes all of them and plays them up to eleven, making it impossible not to notice them in Fraction’s better works, which makes the comic, in my opinion, actively worse than just a bad story. 

The art of Jimmy Olsen is very good. The lines evoke a nice vintage comic vibe, but it’s still extremely dynamic and expressive. It’s a very “the good ol’ times” wholesome, almost self parodying feel. Lieber does an excellent job at taking a classic character and modernizing it in a way that feels slightly off but still very pleasing to look at. It’s classic, it’s iconic, and it’s so completely wasted that it makes me want to cry a bit. 

Now, a disclaimer: this is my introduction to Jimmy Olsen as a character. I also don’t read a lot of stuff published by DC comics. This is not by design - I don’t believe in the marvel vs. DC debate, they’re publishers, you can read both - I just haven’t found anything I like yet. My standards when it comes to superhero comics are, with some exceptions, “involved a woman somewhere in the making process”, so, uh, yeah. There isn’t much. 

I don’t feel like knowing Jimmy Olsen would’ve made me like this better, though. On the contrary - this comic book mocks its reader for the mere possibility that they’d ever want to like, relate to or enjoy the content or the character in any way. It mocks the format of old comic books with long, ridiculous chapter openers that stop the story completely for a couple of paragraphs at a time just to tell you that no, the story doesn’t take itself seriously, god forbid. 

Sometimes when a story doesn’t take itself too seriously, you get something delightful, like Kyle Starks’ Kill Them All, that’s basically just one big action sequence where three main characters kill a bunch of bad guys and it’s great. Sometimes you get the vintage comic Jimmy Olsen gets out of its way to mock - I managed to get some old West Coast Avengers (1989) issues recently, and reading through them, missing arcs and water damages and all, has been lovely. It’s over the top! It doesn’t make sense! But we’re all here to have fun. The writers, the artists, the readers - there’s a value in this kind of stories, a value Jimmy Olsen refuses to see. It starts with someone, or someones, REALLY WANTING to tell a certain story. These stories might not take themselves too seriously - they’re not here to say anything important, to be capital a Art - but they are treated seriously in that we all know what kind of experience we’re in for, and the creators make sure it’s delivered to the best of their ability, because they’re passionate about it. 

To paraphrase Hannah Montana, Matt Fraction gets the worst of both worlds here. It is - or at least it feels like it is - trying to be capital a Art, like it’s trying to say something important and deep. But with the same breath it tells you, you know what, you won’t get it, and fuck you for wanting to enjoy a story. This is not what serious comic readers do. Serious comic readers sit in the dark and stew in their own meta, and if passion tries to get anywhere near them they instantly destroy it with a ray of cynicism so concentrated it will tear through Hawkeye’s suit and leave him shirtless for the rest of the story (no, YOU’VE been reading too much West Coast Avengers). 

When Matt Fraction is passionate about telling a story, it makes up for the less good bits and the story becomes an instant classic. It seems like when he’s not, though, it’s everyone else’s fault. I hope he finds that spark again, but i’m not sticking through issues #7-#12 to find out. I prefer comics that wants to be read.

[stilesgivesmefeels]

OTP Game

Pick your top 10 OTPs without reading the questions.

I was tagged by absolutely no one but it looked fun!

1. Ian/Mickey - Shameless

2. Buck/Eddie - 9-1-1

3. Stiles/Derek -Teen Wolf

4. Steve/Bucky - Captain America/MCU 

5. Kirk/Spock - Star Trek 

6. Michael/Maria - Roswell (the original show!)

7. Eric ‘Bitty’ Bittle/Jack Zimmermann - Check Please!

8. Clark Kent/Lex Luther - Smallville

9. Angel/Cordelia Chase - Angel

10. Veronica/Logan - Veronica Mars

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

A. The diner scene for sure!  Just BAM! Making out in the diner.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

A. SO MANY.  It’s my all-consuming reading these days.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

A. No

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

A. That would never happen.  They are happily engaged (and probably married in 2020 time) and Ngozi has taken such good care of her audience and her characters that I don’t have to even worry about that!

5. Why is 1 so important?

A. Ooooh Gallavich!  Canon, married in canon!  They have probably the best on-screen chemistry of any of the ships. And I love ships with good chemistry.  But they just sizzle.  And also very clearly love each other, even when they didn’t have the language to use for it yet.  Their growth together over the seasons has been so great to watch.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

A. A little bit of both?  They had such great potential until Joss Whedon fucked it all over.  I am still so pissed on behalf of Charisma Carpenter.  She was completely fucked over.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

A. Gallavich for the canon ships by far!  Gallavich for overall as well!  For non-canon, Buck and Eddie.  They have so much love and affection for each other already.

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

A. Oooh this is a tough one.  Because Steve and Bucky have such a strong bond (and I completely ignore the very end of Endgame).  But Kirk and Spock are also basically soulmates.  So might be a tie between those two?

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

A. Sooooo many times.  But I end with the movie.  I refuse to watch the new season that kills of Logan!  Fuck that.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

A. I’m not sure what this means? For me to be shipping them?  Or since they started?  I think it means since they started and that would be Kirk/Spock.  They are the OG shipping!e

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

A. A dozen or so?

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

A. While Buck and Eddie would like to pretend that they would survive, the real answer is Clark and Lex.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

A. Yes, they did!  Jack wasn’t out to the rest of the team (or world) so their relationship had to be a secret at first.  But that was hurting Bitty so they came out to the friends and then to the world!

14. Is 4 still together?

A. If Endgame had actually followed the storyline set up about Steve and Bucky from the entire rest of the series they still would be!!!

15. Is 10 canon?

A. Yup!

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

A. If it were Winter Soldier era Steve and Bucky then they would definitely win. They would burn it all to the ground to save each other. 

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

A. Sort of?  They face a lot of obstacles but are definitely soulmates.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

A. 1, 2, 3, 4, and 7.  

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

A. I’ve never gone through any of their tumblr pages.  But during the height of my Sterek love my entire feed was all Sterek all the time.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

A. Michael and Maria.  But only because they were young and I haven’t rewatched the show in 20 years.  So it won’t hurt the same as the rest.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

[supeson]

Could You Ever Believe?

part one

It takes a lot of gentle persuading and promises of loyalty, but Clark lets you stay in your house. You think it’s because he doesn’t want you to see him as a total monster, which you get. Whenever you’re needed, someone will come get you and take you to the Fortress. At least, that’s how it’s been explained to you. It feels...unsettling to be treated like this, but there isn’t much you can do about it. He’s the ruler of the world, he could vaporize you in an instant. 

It’s jarring, the first time they come to get you. You’re just getting out of work for the day, ready to go home and take a shower, order in, maybe grab the brush and spend the night pampering your cats. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, when you’re encased in green. Your eyes open in surprise, and you look up.

“Your presence has been requested.” No jokes, no flashy smiles, nothing. It’s hard to believe that this was once Earth’s Green Lantern. You just nod tiredly and sit down on the bottom of the cube. It’s a lengthy flight to the Arctic, and you’re thankful you have a battery pack stashed away in your lunchbox.

You’re softly dropped at the entrance to the Fortress, and after getting you inside, Lantern takes off. You give him a withering look as he leaves, knowing you have no idea where you’re going. You start wandering around, but find that all the doors are either locked, or require some kind of hand or eye scan. Ridiculous. You go up a couple of levels, and walk down a long hallway, ending with big double doors. 

“Well, if this isn’t obviously his room, then he should really think about redecorating,” You say to yourself aloud, leaning heavily on one door to push it open. You grunt with the effort it takes, until both of them swing open, and there he is, floating an inch or two off the ground.

“You’re right, I should redecorate,” Clark says, no hint of a smile or crinkle in his eye, like there used to be. This Clark is more serious, harder than he used to be. 

You look up at him tiredly, then heave yourself off the floor and dust off. You look around the room, which is sparsely decorated. There’s a massive desk in the center, made of wood. “I’m surprised your furniture isn’t ice-themed too.”

“Yes, well, turns out as nice as the aesthetic is, I can’t really sit down and write a paper on an ice desk, hm?” He points you through a doorway, and into the next room; his bedroom. “I surmised you would probably be cold, so I put a couple of jackets and whatnot in there, to keep you warm.”

“Thanks, I know you wouldn’t want your new toy to freeze to death so quickly,” You say as you rifle through. You land on a red flannel jacket, with fur lining the inside. 

“Don’t push it,” Clark says, spinning you around. “You’re here because I want you to be. You could just as easily not be.”

There’s fear in your eyes, you know, but you can help but spit venom back at him. “I’m here because you can’t stand being alone in this godforsaken prison while your lackeys go out there and terrorize the world for you. What am I even doing here? What do you want from me? I’m just your old next door neighbor from before you met your wife. I’m nobody. I should be at home.”

His hands curl into fists as he takes a deep breath. “I don’t...want to hurt you. Stop.”

Your eyes widen, and you slip from his grasp. You’re surprised he’s let you go for this long. From what you’ve heard, he’s killed people for less. You trip over yourself, and land face-first on his bed. You scramble up onto it, and stare at him from across the room. “I’m...sorry.” You consider your next words carefully. He said he needed a companion, right? Well fuck, you could do that. You could be Superman’s companion. “How was your day?”

You could be Clark Kent’s friend again.

[221bshrlocked]

Breaking News!

Pairing: Clark Kent x Reader

Words: 2424

Warnings: Awkwardness and Fluffiness :)

A/N: Testing out my hand with your third favorite superhero. Not beta’d or fixed. I just wanted to post this as soon as possible.

Apologizing for the hundredth time to the taxi for making him wait, you struggled out of the car along with your luggage and gave him a generous tip, bidding him a good weekend before looking up to the sky.

“God it’s only five. Someone kill me.” You whispered to yourself, asking for some divine help before grabbing your bag and walking through your building. As soon as you looked at the ‘out of order’ sign on the elevator, you wanted to cry. “There is no way this week can get any worse. Why the fuck did I even choose to live on the 10th floor?” You stood in front of the stairs for a couple of minutes, debating on whether you could just leave your bag down here or call a moving company to carry it because this was not happening. You’d probably die from collapsed lungs if you tried to carry it.

“Need some help?” Jumping at the sudden question, you turned around to see an incredibly attractive and well-dressed man fixing his glasses and pointing at your bag.

“I- uhhhhh, that’s okay. I think I’ll figure something out.” You hated yourself for stuttering in front of him. This week could definitely get worse.

“I mean, the wheels on your luggage broke and the elevator is out of order and you live on the 10th floor so....you need some help??” He chuckled every time your face scrunched as he named each of your current issues.

“Wait how do you know what floor I live on? Are you stalking me?” Your expression must have seemed a little uncomfortable because he gave you one hell of a smile and you almost died.

“I’m your next door neighbor. We never actually met but I’ve seen you run out of your apartment a couple of times in a hurry. I’m Clark by the way, Clark Kent.” The tall man fixed his bag before taking a few steps closer to you and asked you the question quietly again.

“Y/N Y/L/N and ss much as I want you to help me Clark, it’s really heavy and I’d hate to be the cause of some broken bones or a fatigued back. I think I’ll just call someone.” You were about to whip your cell phone out when he unzipped his jacket and leaned down to grab your bag. Before you could start refusing, he was already making his way up the first floor without breaking a sweat.

You, however, were sure death was creeping behind you by the 4th floor and yet here he was making his way up the stairs without even complaining or huffing once or even taking a break.

“Hot damn that’s a nice ass.” Whispering to yourself, you looked up instantly when he suddenly stopped to fix his hold on the bag before continuing up. Clark almost tripped because did you seriously just check him out? He smiled before switching hands and went up a little slower just so you don’t suspect anything.

“Jesus H. Christ can anyone be this cute and sexy at the same time? If only mom would see him…what a specimen.” You spoke to yourself once more, thinking he was definitely far enough to not here you but of course he could, his smile turning into a laugh before he had to cover it up by coughing.

“Hey maybe you should rest, or just let me carry it the rest of the way you’ve really done enough Clark please.” You tried to race in front of him but his larger frame made it impossible for you to go past his arms.

“Only two more floors I’m good. More worried about you actually, you doing alright? You seem a little...off!” Clark didn’t know what else to say because lord knows he wanted to call you out on what you just said and maybe you’d both get something out of it but no. He wasn’t that type of guy. Well, maybe he was; actually he’d make an exception just for you.

As soon as you made it to your floor, you sighed in relief and looked back at him and honestly hated yourself because how the hell did he look so composed carrying 50 pounds of shit up ten floors and here you were panting and wishing you were dead?

“Honestly, I don’t know how to thank you. My superhero!” You dramatically touched your chest and laughed along with him, Clark giggling because of the irony of the whole situation. “You need help with anything else?” Clark asked again, hoping you’d say yes.

“Yeah, my wet panties.” You looked down at your shoes while quietly saying that last part, Clark’s own eyes widening in surprise at your shameless commentary. “Sorry what was that?” He wanted to see how you’d react and sure enough, you looked up at him and swallowed the lump in your throat before squealing a quick ‘nothing.’

“So long trip huh?” He asked just to keep the conversation going.

“Yeah, I was actually attending my cousin’s wedding in Kansas and the three days turned into a week and by the time I got back three days ago, I was needed at the hospital so as you can see, I was close to crying had you not shown up when you did.” You shuffled around in your bag for your keys and Clark had already gotten out his.

“And what do you do?”

“I’m a reporter at the Daily Planet. Sadly my last week wasn’t as adventurous as yours.

“Oh you can’t be serious. Your job is probably more “adventurous” than mine since you’re always writing stories about the super dude. How’s he doing by the way?” Clark’s laugh echoed the hallways at your nickname for him and he had to contain himself to answer, “super dude? Haven’t heard that one before, and he’s probably doing something worth his while right now. My guess, he’s having the absolute best time in weeks.”

“Well, maybe you can take a page out of his book? See where it goes.”

“Nah, I think I’m good.” Clark hears the lock click open as you opened your door and smacks himself mentally for not trying to ask you out. “It was nice to meet you Clark and seriously thank you so much for your help you saved me from having a public mental breakdown. Maybe we should hang out once in a while and catch up okay?”

“Oh, you’re busy now?” You didn’t expect him to ask you this question but part of you felt a little light headed.

“I mean I have to do laundry and cook so how about tomorrow?” You pushed your bag into the apartment before turning back to him.

“I can just order take-out and it’ll get here by the time you finish your laundry!? That way you can just relax for the rest of the night.” Clark really hoped he wasn’t being too forward and a goofy smile took over his features once you nodded and told him to go change and knock on your door when the food gets there.

“See you in a bit.” He yelled out right before you shut the door, taking quick strides to his own place and changing quickly before ordering from his favorite restaurant.

Sometime later, you heard three knocks on your door and ran to open it, your jaw dropping as soon as you took in the way he was dressed. If he looked hot in a suit, then he was on fire now. Quickly averting your eyes from his incredibly tight shirt, you ushered him in and told him to make himself comfortable.

Clark was in the middle of fixing his plate when he heard you talking to yourself again.

“I mean, who the fuck looks that good in a plain blue shirt and gray sweatpants? I’m definitely going to die tonight...no I’m not going to ask him to have sex are you stupid? He’s my next door neighbor you moron. Whatever, I gotta go he’s waiting. Shut up. Bye.” You must’ve been talking on the phone with someone, the conversation replaying in Clark’s mind because he could probably just ask you out and you’d say yes. But what if it backfired? What if you broke up or worse, you found out who he was? No he couldn't do this. Not to you at least.

He looked up as soon as you walked into the room, eyes shooting straight to the pile of laundry in the basket which you just brought out to wash.

“Sorry, this is the last round I swear. You can start eating.” You kept on walking to the washer and dryer near the kitchen, quickly pulling the first round out of the dryer and placing the second one in the washer. You made your way back to your bedroom and looked up at him when you heard him calling your name.

“Yeah what’s up?” The question hadn’t left your lips before he was looking at you with an interested expression, and seconds later, you were running to grab your panties out of his grasp.

“Ummmm,” Clark couldn’t help but blush because of course you owned superman panties.

“I swear I only got them because they were on sale.” You shoved them in your pockets before walking back to your room and throwing them away, shutting the door behind you before going back and fixing your own plate.

“Hey hey no need to explain to me anything. You dropped them and I happened to be around.” Clark tried to think of anything else but you wearing those and straddling him, maybe using him to get off before making out with him. He shook his head violently and looked down to see a tent forming on his sweatpants.

Crap, no abort abort, think of kittens stuck in trees, think of your parents, think of your dog, anything but how she’d feel beneath you god damn it.

“Can we just forget this please like, I don’t want to die of embarrassment tonight. Besides, I own a Batman pair as well so it’s not a big deal.”

And that seemed to do the trick, Clark’s smile dropping instantly because he didn’t need this image right now.

An hour or so passed and the two of you were dying of laughter as you told him what happened at your cousin’s wedding.”Seriously, he just dropped his pants in front of everyone and pretended he was the bride?” Clark asked as he helped you clean up in the kitchen.

“I mean his brother was pissed but it was so fucking hilarious to witness. Hey, you want some tea?” You poured some extra water in the kettle when he nodded, trying to push him off so he doesn’t wash the dishes and marveling at just how solid he was.

“Anyway, what happened next was w-” Not paying attention to where he was walking, you bumped into him violently, causing your hand to tilt and the boiling water to spill all over his chest and feet. “OH MY GOD SHIT SHIT I’M SORRY WAIT HERE!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, throwing the kettle in the sink before running to get your first aid kit from your luggage. When you came back, you saw him standing there looking at his shirt, a quizzical look on your face because he should be screaming in agony.

“Shit shit shit come here, sit down and take your shirt off.” You grabbed his hands and pushed him on the couch before you settled between his knees to examine him.

“Wait Y/N I need to call-”

“Clark stop just trust me okay I’ve dealt with burned patients before. Take your shirt off.” When he didn’t do as you ordered, you took matters into your own hands, quite literally, pulling up his shirt and throwing it across the room before taking out some gauze and pain relief medicine.

But when you looked back at his chest, there was nothing. Not one inch was burned, actually, his skin wasn’t even red or inflamed. It was as clear as a baby’s skin, the hairs adorning his chest wet from the water. Turning your gaze to his feet, you found that they were also just wet and not peeled off or anything.

It took you a few seconds to collect yourself before making eye contact, Clark’s facial expression more apologetic than your own. “Umm, surprise!” He smiled awkwardly before standing up and retrieving his shirt to dry himself off.

A few moments passed before you managed to find something to say.

“Well this is awkward. Ughh, and you saw my panties too.”

“Listen, Y/N-”

“Breaking News! Local girl is an idiot and made a fool out of herself in front of the man of steel.” You collected your tools and placed them back in the box before standing up and sitting on the couch instead of him.

“I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t-” Clark started to ask when you cut him off once again, knowing very well he was worried about his secret coming out.

“Don’t worry super dude, I won’t tell a soul. You have my word.” You tried to make things less awkward but he was still standing shirtless in the middle of your apartment.

“It’s a hard secret to keep.” Clark shifted awkwardly in his place, looking everywhere else but you.

“I’m a doctor. It’s my job to not tell secrets, remember? Seriously I won’t tell anyone I swear.” Walking past him, you went to the kitchen and took out a towel to clean up the mess on the floor. When you heard him coming up behind you, you stopped and decided to give him some attention.

He tried to make things a little less awkward and decided to joke around a bit. “So are you going to ask for something in return? Like fly around or something?” You saw what he was trying to do and felt a little bad because you’d be as worried, if not more, as him if such a huge secret escaped.

“Help me clean this up?” He looked at you like you grew a second head and you just shrugged. “Oh and please put a shirt on.”

“Why, you don’t think I’m cute and sexy with my shirt off?” Clark’s heart skipped a beat at your flustered reaction and he hoped that you’d say yes when he finally grew the balls to ask you out.

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[holy-fate-worse-than-death]

Red has a new chapter!

Chapter 13 is here! That’s right, it’s the Jaydick fluff chapter you’ve all been waiting for! (No? Just me? Okay...)

As always, you can read the whole fic here, but I feel like this chapter can be read as a standalone bit of Jaydick fluff (with some Superbat mentions), so I’ll post it below the cut.

Word count: 3966 because I’m a long-winded bitch who likes describing Dick Grayson’s face a whole lot

Content Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death, mentions of sex, mentions of canon-typical violence

He was waiting until Bruce got back, Jason told himself. But his fingers, tapping impatiently against the steering wheel in front of him, told a different story. Maybe it was this damn car, a silver Porsche 911 that was older than Jason was. It was small, sleek and low to the ground; not the sort of car Jason would usually drive, but he’d picked it from the garage that morning because he remembered that it was the one Dick had taken his first joyride in. It had seemed appropriate, given that he was driving to Blüdhaven and back. The plan that was slowly coming to life in his head, unfurling like blueprints across the Batcave’s conference table, was fuelled by the type of sheer ego that only Bruce Wayne could pull off. Bruce Wayne and all his shiny cars, and even shinier gadgets.

Jason sighed, reaching out and flicking off the radio with a short, frustrated noise. As if the lasts few days hadn’t been enough to wind him up, every radio DJ in Gotham had seemingly forgotten what taste was while he was gone.

He fished his phone out from the centre console and jammed it into the mount on the dash. It connected to the car’s radio automatically. Jason was planning to play some of his own music, but when his fingers touched the phone he found himself calling Dick’s number instead.

I was going to surprise him, he thought as he set the call to speaker.

It took a few rings for Dick to pick up, and Jason found his heart skipping with each one. A knot formed under his diaphragm and it seemed to siphon off some of his air, leaving him not-quite breathless.

“Jay?” Dick asked mildly, a hint of surprise in his voice.

See the thing is, Jason never calls first. He isn’t – has never been – the one to initiate these things. It was always a one-word text from Dick to Jason’s cell; just the word ‘now’ or an address. Jason never replied to them, but he always showed up. But then that night had happened- and god, Jason couldn’t think about it without wanting to scream or cry or something. How had he gone from ramming Dick’s ass once or twice a month to I hate you for making me fall in love with you, all in one night?

“You driving?” Dick asked after a while, when Jason didn’t say anything.

In retrospect, he probably could have at least said ‘hello’. But there was blood rushing in his ears and someone had just cut him off on the highway. He hummed in affirmation, wondering if Dick could even hear him through the speaker.

Dick’s voice dropped lower then, more serious. Jason pictured him sitting down, tensing his shoulders and worrying at the hem of his sleeve like he always did when he was nervous.

“How’s Damian?” he breathed.

Jason smiled then, despite Dick’s sombre tone. Perhaps he should have been worried, but truth be told the kid was bouncing back like a champ. He’d even had the Kent kid over yesterday. They’d squabbled over ice-cream flavours like real kids, and Jason’s chest had been full to bursting. The Kent kid – Jon – had helped Damian feed all his animals, even his cow and the two-dozen battery hens that now roamed Wayne Manor’s hedge maze (and Jesus, Jason would have to ask Dick later how the fuck that had come to be). It had been weird, seeing these two miniature versions of Bruce and Clark chase each other around the Manor, but it had also felt so spine-tinglingly right.

“He looks like his mom when he smiles,” Jason murmured, not realising he’d spoken out loud until the words were already hanging like a warm cloud in the air.

“How well did you know her?” Dick enquired.

Dick was always so inquisitive, so full of questions. For a long time, it had annoyed Jason, pissed him off to the point where he’d yelled at his older counterpart about it a time or two. But these days he’d just resigned himself to it; understood that it was the natural companion for Jason’s (no doubt equally as infuriating) brevity.

As if to hammer that point home, Jason replied with a single word: “Well.”

Dick hmmed at him then, just as Jason turned onto the Blüdhaven off-ramp. Now or never, he thought to himself.

“You at home?” he asked gruffly.

“Yeah,” Dick replied easily, a smile creeping into his voice, “Night off.”

“I’m coming over,” Jason told him, not bothering to phrase it as a question.

Dick’s breath hitched on the other end of the line and Jason chewed on his lip, wondering if he’d pushed his luck too far.

“Okay,” Dick eventually breathed, letting out a long, shaky breath that Jason wasn’t sure he was meant to hear.

Jason smirked to himself, relieved that he could still take the guy’s breath away when he wanted to. Emboldened, he asked, “So… what are you wearing?”

He’d figured the question – which was the sort of thing only straight men in their forties ever asked their dates – would have earned him a laugh from his jovial older counterpart. Instead, silence tore a schism between them, and Jason was left feeling like all the air had been sucked from inside the car.

When Dick finally spoke, he wasn’t even angry, he just sounded sad: “Jay, please don’t make fun of this.”

Jason’s stomach sank so far that he could feel it in his knees. In his mind’s eye he was seeing Clark, in that abandoned hospital on the outskirts of Smallville, flinching at Jason’s joke and trying desperately to hide it. That moment had already broken Jason’s heart, and somehow this one was so much worse.

He wanted to grab Dick’s sweet, scared face in his hands and kiss him until he forgot every stupid thing Jason had ever said; until he could feel Jason’s feelings pulsating between them. He wanted to breathe new life into this tired, terrified boy who’d been the only one brave enough to call this what it was. The one who’d been brave enough to call Jason’s name since the very first night they were together. The one who’d kept letting him in, piece by piece, knowing that the Red Hood would almost certainly break him; run him through and pierce his heart like he’d done to so many men before him. Admittedly, those men had been criminals, not lovers, but sometimes Jason felt like his whole being existed to cater to criminals.

“I’ll be over in fifteen,” Jay croaked, fumbling to hang up the phone before Dick could protest.

He looked at himself in the rear-view mirror; eyes downturned and sad under a grey-white fringe that had been neatly combed to one side. His eyeliner was smoky, and a little too thick, because he’d applied it in the car to avoid having that conversation with Damian. Not that he was ashamed, it just seemed like something that his brother didn’t need to be thinking about right now, especially with the way the Kent kid made him blush. Jeez, he thought, they really are their father’s sons.

Jason had pulled a crisp white tee from Bruce’s closet (all of Jason’s were stained or torn) and paired it with his tightest black jeans, throwing his usual jacket and boots on with it. Somehow the shirt was enough to clean up his whole look, and he was glad; he wanted Dick to know he’d put in a little effort.

For fucking once, Jason thought bitterly, glaring at his own reflection.

Dick’s loft in Blüdhaven was an intimidatingly light and airy place, with none of the Gotham gothic style Jason was used to. Even in the various short-term rentals Jason had lived in over the years (including a few here in Blüdhaven), Jason had maintained the greyscale colour palette of Wayne Manor and The Penthouse. Here, everything was shades of warm brown; wood-panelled walls and unpolished floorboards, with a modest chipboard kitchen and huge windows with lace curtains that danced in the afternoon breeze.

Dick’s clothing was draped over everything; a salmon-pink button-down over the back of the couch alongside a half-inside-out pair of pale blue jeans, a denim jacket hung over the back of one of the breakfast bar’s stools, a pair of discarded boxers on the living room floor. Everything smelled so much like him, and Jason spied some black-and-red Kevlar mesh poking out from between the couch cushions. Jason snorted at the discarded uniform and sauntered towards the bedroom where he’d heard footsteps. Better than a glass case, he thought.

Come in! It’s open! Dick had called at him when he’d knocked, so Jason did.

Jason swung the bedroom door open and dropped his shoulder against the doorframe. It was darker in here, and Jason spied the rubber-backed curtains on the window that blocked out the sunlight. He smirked at them, the contrast between these curtains and the ones in the living room serving as a reminder that Dick was still the antisocial little cave-dweller they all were.

His eyes fell to Dick then, soft hair curtaining his face as he desperately tried to yank on a pair of jeans that were entirely too tight. Jason was familiar with his plight and had to stifle a laugh as Dick desperately tried to force the offending denim over his ass. His back was turned, and Jason could see the way all the muscles in his shoulders tensed as he hopped up and down, fingers hooked through his belt loops.

“Take it easy, D,” Jason chortled.

He pushed off the doorframe as Dick spun around to face him, a half-hearted glare sent in Jason’s direction. Jason figured he probably deserved it, but he ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach.

Instead, he barrelled into Dick, gripping the back of the acrobat’s waistband and yanking his jeans up over his ass easily, inadvertently lifting Dick into the air in the process. Without thinking it through (and gee, there was a surprise) Jason snaked his hands around to the front of Dick’s jeans to do up his fly for him. There was a joke in there somewhere about the irony of Jason helping him put on his jeans instead of taking them off, but Jason left it unsaid.

Dick’s hands had fallen limp to his sides as Jason manhandled him, and now he rolled his eyes.

“Thanks mom,” he said, shoving Jason away playfully so he could bend over and retrieve his socks from the floor.

Dick sat down on the edge of his unmade bed to put them on, and Jason stood over him, grinning like a maniac. He looked good like that, still shirtless and leaning backwards onto the bed, one leg in the air as he tugged a bat-symbol-branded sock over his foot.

“You still wear the matchin’ panties too?” Jason asked, inching just a little closer to Dick as he began to tug on the other sock.

Dick blushed then, and Jason’s smirk got even wider. He’d just seen Dick putting on his pants, so he knew the answer was yes. But it reminded Jason of so many other times – and the first time, where he’d cracked some lame joke about daddy issues and then torn them off with his teeth.

But this wasn’t about sex, and it wasn’t just about Jason distracting himself from the ludicrous plan he was setting in motion in Bruce’s absence, either. This was meant to be about something else, so Jason sank into Dick’s lap, startling his older counterpart, and pressed his lips gently against Dick’s.

Jason had never kissed like this before. Usually when he kissed somebody it was a jaws-clashing, teeth-gnashing, go-until-you’ve-got-spit-on-your-chin affair. And Jason loved that, of course, but this was something else.

Dick’s lips were soft and pliant under his, tentative and quivering just a little. Unlike last time, neither of them was crying now, and Jason had all the time in the world to work Dick’s mouth open and explore it tenderly with his tongue. He wrapped his arms around Dick’s neck like a girl might and pulled back playfully so that Dick had to chase his mouth to continue the kiss – which Dick did eagerly. Their lips made that sound that happened when people kissed in movies and Dick weaved a hand between them and up to Jason’s face, cupping his jaw and rubbing circles on Jason’s cheek with his thumb.

The kiss never deepened, but when they pulled back to rest their foreheads together they were breathing as though it had. Even so, there was a stillness in the room, a comfortable silence that embraced them as they embraced each other.

Jason opened his eyes first, Dick’s relaxed, gently-smiling face coming into focus. Dick’s dark eyelashes dusted his cheekbones, and his lips were red and shiny now, pulled up into the ghost of a smile and still parted slightly. Jason settled properly onto the bed, knees still bracketing Dick’s thighs, and wondered if he could stay like this forever.

The soft afternoon light filtered in through the bedroom door over Jason’s shoulder, casting the perfect shadows over Dick’s face. His jaw was strong and square, his cheekbones high and angular, but set into an exquisitely masculine shape. His nose was wide at the nostrils, the bridge of it sunken back into his face and crooked from at least a half-dozen broken noses. The first hint of a beard peppered his chin and Jason had to resist the urge to nuzzle his own face against it.

Eventually, Dick’s eyes opened and he sighed contentedly, wriggling with lazy pleasure as he wrapped his arms more firmly around Jason’s waist. Jason thought that it was nice to be held like this (though he’d never say it out loud). He was still tense with the knowledge of what was coming next, but for once he felt safe in someone’s embrace.

It reminded him, perhaps perversely, of the first time Bruce had ever held him; sheltering Jason from the storm he’d been weathering on his own for so many years. And it reminded him of how he’d held Damian and Tim over the past few days, though he’d been in Dick’s role during those moments. Is it supposed to feel like this all the time? he wondered.

Dick was staring up into his eyes now, their haziness disappearing as he scrutinised his younger counterpart. Jason knew what he was looking at, and he wondered if Dick – or anyone in the family – had ever seen him with makeup on before. Jason squirmed, somewhat despite himself, but Dick’s lazy little smile never faltered.

“So,” Dick began carefully, “What’s the plan.”

Jason chewed on his lip as he contemplated how best to answer that. Jason hadn’t come here with an explicit plan, but somewhere between the Gotham on-ramp and the Blüdhaven off-ramp, Jason had come to know exactly where he’d take Dick. It had seemed silly at that point, to drive all the way out here to pick up Dick, only to drive right back to Gotham, but somehow it had seemed right. Old fashioned, he thought to himself. But it had seemed like the type of thing that Clark Kent would do, and so Jason had done it.

“There’s this old Italian place down by Amusement Mile,” Jason started, climbing out of Dick’s lap to sit next to him on the bed.

He swivelled his head to face Dick, giving his older counterpart a look that hopefully conveyed his seriousness. Instinctively, Jason reached out and took Dick’s hand in his, giving it a little squeeze. Dick didn’t respond, but he didn’t jerk his hand away either – though he was looking at Jason with a calculated sort of confusion; brows knitting together as his eyes flew across Jason’s features, trying to read him.

“They have the best ossobuco in the city,” Jason continued, swallowing down the ache that came from how much he sounded like his Sicilian mother whenever he said anything more Italian than ‘pizza’.

Jason had never been to this Italian place himself, but a long time ago Dick had told him about it. More specifically, he’d told Jason that it was the last place he’d eaten with his parents before their deaths.

Dick had stopped breathing now, and Jason pre-emptively flinched, ready for Dick to wrench his hand away and throw Jason out of the apartment. Which was why Jason nearly choked when Dick squeezed his hand instead.

“Have you ever been back?” Jason asked softly, knowing that Dick had caught on to his plan now.

“No,” Dick whispered, turning his face away from Jason’s to scrunch his toes in the carpet.

Dick took several long, steadying breaths before he spoke again. Jason waited patiently, never loosening his grip on Dick’s hand. He’d wait for Dick Grayson for as long as it took. Had been waiting, he realised, maybe since before his death.

“Is this a date?” Dick asked after a while, eyes flickering over to Jason briefly before returning to the carpet.

“Yes,” Jason answered firmly, utterly determined not to give Dick any cowardly cop-outs this time – not this time, and never again if he could help it.

Dick’s breathing had gone shallow again, but Jason felt suddenly emboldened to press on. Maybe it was the candour with which Clark had apologised to him back in Smallville that inspired him. After all, when Clark had done it, it had earned more of Jason’s respect than anything else could have. He figured he owed Dick at least that.

“But it’s also an apology,” he said, perhaps not as confidently as Clark would have, though he imagined Clark had had far more practice at this during his time as Superman (and during his time dating Bruce Wayne).

Dick turned to him, like he was about to ask, ‘for what?’ but Jason was already answering him.

“For… everything.”

Dick’s tears this time are gentle and quiet. They roll down his face like rain on a windowpane, and it takes a beat before Jason even spots them. When he does, his eyes begin to prick as well, and he reaches out automatically to cup Dick’s face in his hand and turn the older man towards him. Dick’s eyes are wet and glistening, but the hopelessness that Jason had seen in them that night outside Damian’s room is (mercifully) no longer there.

Licking a tear off his lips, Jason smiled weakly and asked, “How do you do this?”

He was half-asking how Dick could stand to cry so often when Jason usually cried about three times a year on average, and half-asking something else, which he voiced as best as he could:

“It’s like every time you cry, I have to cry too.”

Dick laughed at him then; a wet, sunny little laugh that ended in a sniffle.

“That’s called love,” he said easily, his tone as breezy and incredulous as if he was explaining to an alien what a toaster was.

“Well,” Jason said, wiping his tears away and laying back on the bed with a sigh.

He pillowed one of his arms behind his head, using his free hand (which was still in Dick’s) to tug his older counterpart down with him. Dick complied, rolling onto his side and resting his head on his elbow. From his vantage, he stared down at Jason while Jason stared thoughtfully up at the ceiling.

“There’s a first time for everything,” Jason said after a while, finishing the thought he’d left hanging in the air.

Dick’s tears were gone now, and he’d perked up considerably. The amicability between them was unlike anything either of them had had together since before Jason had died, and if Jason had been asked to describe it, he might have called it freeing.

Dick certainly seemed free, as he asked, “You’ve never been in love before?” as unabashedly as a middle schooler might.

Jason chewed on Dick’s words for a while. The question ought to have made him anxious, but he felt nothing but an honest fascination that mirrored Dick’s. Never really thought about it before, he said to himself, deciding that wouldn’t be a good enough answer to satisfy Dick’s insatiable curiosity.

“Once,” Jason finally settled on, letting the story flow out of him before he was even sure where it was going. “He was hot,” he stated matter-of-factly.

He turned his head to give Dick a gratuitous look that said, ‘he was very hot’.

“And smart,” Jason added, “and sweet, and caring.” Jason scrubbed a hand over his face idly. “He was everything I wanted to be back then.”

Jason let out a puff of air from deep in his tightening chest, turning his head back to the ceiling so that he didn’t have to deal with all the emotions muddying Dick’s perfect face.

“This guy inspired me,” Jason continued, quieter now. “He made me want to be a better person.”

Jason smiled, memories that he hadn’t allowed in since his resurrection flooding his mind. But for once they weren’t flashbacks, they were like a warm breeze blown across his face, and he was heady with the sensation of it.

“This was before I died,” Jason clarified, for once not feeling torn apart by the mention of his own death. “How I felt about him changed everything. It made me who I am.”

Jason’s head lolled to the side, still resting on his arm, and he smiled easily at Dick; a smile that reached his eyes, because Jason felt like he was really looking at him for the first time ever.

“I wanted to be good enough for him,” Jason said. “And in the end, you know, I think I almost was.”

Jason sighed wistfully, and Dick shifted on the bed beside him with what might have been discomfort. He was faintly aware that Dick should be uncomfortable, surprised by Jason’s sudden candour, maybe even a little jealous. But he felt good, for once. His chest was light, and he felt like he could take the weight of the world. Or, at least, the weight of Dick and his brothers.

“Did I mention hot?” Jason asked with a laugh.

There was silence after that for a while, as Dick processed, and Jason continued to revel in old memories.

Memories of soaring through the air, and refitting the Robin suit, and eating McDonalds on the corner of Cornerstone Court and Third Avenue at the end of a patrol. Memories of stupid puns and witty one-liners; of aborted jokes, and stories that always got cut off by the blaring of an ambulance siren or the chatter of a police scanner. Memories of pillow forts in Wayne Manor, and ice-cream sundaes made hastily behind Alfred’s back. Memories of raucous laughter and boyhood. Memories of his childhood best friend.

Memories of Dick Grayson.

“You should tell him,” Dick said firmly after a while.

At some point his hand had slipped out of Jason’s, and now Jason felt the ache of its absence.

“Whatever is between us,” Dick continued slowly, holding Jason’s gaze, “You should tell him that he was loved.”

Jason’s smile unfurled alongside the great python in his chest that had been constricting his heart since that night all those months ago, when he’d caught Dick’s eye across the floor of The Black Cat. His grin was untameable, taking over his whole face until his eyes crinkled and his cheeks were sore.

He rolled up onto his side, pushing Dick down onto the bed so that they were a mirroring their previous positions. He tried to wrangle his smile and hold Dick’s gaze with some amount of seriousness, but he failed outstandingly.

“I think I just did.”