#i know i never do this often. comic reviews and posting negative stuff here

[not-the-blue]

Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen (2019) - review

this pretty much wrote itself. contains much, much negativity about Matt Fraction and Steve Lieber’s Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen, be warned! 

An artist - I honestly don’t remember who - once told me, “be careful when you make art about making art. You can easily get stuck in a cycle of cynical meta and your work will have no substance.” - and he was right. It’s easy to get lost in your feelings about creation, and end up making something that’s basically feeding on itself, with nothing to hold it up as a work of art that’s actually about something. 

Few have done this right. Kelsey’s Wroten’s Cannonball comes to mind, as does Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie’s The Wicked And The Divine. Many have done this wrong - think every parody worthy “I’m a cynic who drinks whiskey, fucks models and writes the Great American Novel” type. Matt Fraction and Steve Lieber’s Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen manages to get even worse than that, because it’s not even trying to sound deep. It’s above sounding deep. It’s above being anything. 

The story - if it can even be called that - follows, as the title suggests, Jimmy Olsen, who’s friends with Superman (Clark Kent, but you didn’t hear it from me). The red headed, butt headed menace has a knack for shenanigans, and he’s sometimes a dick. That’s pretty much everything the reader gets to know about the main character. That, and his apparently problematic family legacy, from before Metropolis was even called Metropolis. As of issue #6, the two plot threads - the modern adventures of Jimmy and the life story of his “great-great-grand-something” Joachim Olsson - have not yet been connected. I’m sure they will. I’m sure it’ll be very clever. 

Jimmy Olsen gets in trouble. Jimmy Olsen flees from Metropolis. Jimmy Olsen fakes his death. There’s a conspiracy - I think - and Batman shows up at some point, but if there’s an actual plot - a story that develops and follows some kind of thread to a satisfying, earned conclusion - it’s lost between flashbacks, flash forwards, Joachim’s side plot, mini chapters, faux cliff hangers and gags. 

This review is actually kind of heartbreaking for me to write, because I love Matt Fraction’s work. Well, I love Sex Criminals and Hawkeye (2012), but I love them so much, I thought loving his work was a guarantee at this point. Hawkeye is smart, well structured, deeply personal and innovative without being showy about it. Sex Criminals is heartfelt, complex and cares a lot about its characters. Hawkeye, in second reading, can be a bit gimmicky, self important and sexist. Sex criminals is a bit hard to follow and at some point, a character being an asshole stops being interesting and starts being annoying. The only reason I’ve noticed these flaws is because Jimmy Olsen takes all of them and plays them up to eleven, making it impossible not to notice them in Fraction’s better works, which makes the comic, in my opinion, actively worse than just a bad story. 

The art of Jimmy Olsen is very good. The lines evoke a nice vintage comic vibe, but it’s still extremely dynamic and expressive. It’s a very “the good ol’ times” wholesome, almost self parodying feel. Lieber does an excellent job at taking a classic character and modernizing it in a way that feels slightly off but still very pleasing to look at. It’s classic, it’s iconic, and it’s so completely wasted that it makes me want to cry a bit. 

Now, a disclaimer: this is my introduction to Jimmy Olsen as a character. I also don’t read a lot of stuff published by DC comics. This is not by design - I don’t believe in the marvel vs. DC debate, they’re publishers, you can read both - I just haven’t found anything I like yet. My standards when it comes to superhero comics are, with some exceptions, “involved a woman somewhere in the making process”, so, uh, yeah. There isn’t much. 

I don’t feel like knowing Jimmy Olsen would’ve made me like this better, though. On the contrary - this comic book mocks its reader for the mere possibility that they’d ever want to like, relate to or enjoy the content or the character in any way. It mocks the format of old comic books with long, ridiculous chapter openers that stop the story completely for a couple of paragraphs at a time just to tell you that no, the story doesn’t take itself seriously, god forbid. 

Sometimes when a story doesn’t take itself too seriously, you get something delightful, like Kyle Starks’ Kill Them All, that’s basically just one big action sequence where three main characters kill a bunch of bad guys and it’s great. Sometimes you get the vintage comic Jimmy Olsen gets out of its way to mock - I managed to get some old West Coast Avengers (1989) issues recently, and reading through them, missing arcs and water damages and all, has been lovely. It’s over the top! It doesn’t make sense! But we’re all here to have fun. The writers, the artists, the readers - there’s a value in this kind of stories, a value Jimmy Olsen refuses to see. It starts with someone, or someones, REALLY WANTING to tell a certain story. These stories might not take themselves too seriously - they’re not here to say anything important, to be capital a Art - but they are treated seriously in that we all know what kind of experience we’re in for, and the creators make sure it’s delivered to the best of their ability, because they’re passionate about it. 

To paraphrase Hannah Montana, Matt Fraction gets the worst of both worlds here. It is - or at least it feels like it is - trying to be capital a Art, like it’s trying to say something important and deep. But with the same breath it tells you, you know what, you won’t get it, and fuck you for wanting to enjoy a story. This is not what serious comic readers do. Serious comic readers sit in the dark and stew in their own meta, and if passion tries to get anywhere near them they instantly destroy it with a ray of cynicism so concentrated it will tear through Hawkeye’s suit and leave him shirtless for the rest of the story (no, YOU’VE been reading too much West Coast Avengers). 

When Matt Fraction is passionate about telling a story, it makes up for the less good bits and the story becomes an instant classic. It seems like when he’s not, though, it’s everyone else’s fault. I hope he finds that spark again, but i’m not sticking through issues #7-#12 to find out. I prefer comics that wants to be read.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

ALRIGHT. HERE WE GO. THE FINALE ISSUE.

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #8 - “Ruthye, Supergirl, and Krem of the Yellow Hills”

SPOILERS!

ISSUE CREDITS: Written by Tom King, art by Bilquis Evely, colors by Matheus Lopes, letters by Clayton Cowles, and edited by Brittany Holzherr w/ asst. editor Jillian Grant and senior editor Paul Kaminski

THE PLOT:

As has become the pattern with these series, the plot is pretty simple. Ruthye fights Krem; Comet saves Kara; Kara ‘fights’ Krem; Krem is defeated.

BUT. There are also some ~twists~! 

The real meat of this issue though--and in fact, the meat of this series--has been the character work, specifically with Ruthye, because her journey and growth is a way of showing us, the reader, the kind of impact Supergirl can have on an individual, and thus! We learn about Kara as well.

Now, admittedly, there’s a really negative, cynical way to read this issue. And if that’s how some folks want to read it, that’s their prerogative.

Personally, I didn’t read it in that negative way, and I’m not alone, if various fan reviews and twitter reactions are anything to go by. XD So, just know that I guess some of this is technically subjective!

Okay. LET’S GO. 

(WARNING: Long-winded discussion of comics and potential misspellings/grammatical errors ahead, apologies in advance!)

RUTHYE VS. KREM:

A significant portion of the book is devoted to *the* showdown that we’ve been promised from the start--Ruthye finally has Krem alone, and intends to kill him. And, to be sporting about it, she cuts him loose, and forfeits her weapon to make it a fair fight.

And here’s the first of several unexpected (in my opinion, anyway!) swerves that the plot takes--Ruthye actually wins.

(As is often the case with these posts, I’m gonna be extremely tempted to just upload the whole issue here but! I will try to exercise restraint! And encourage individuals who have the means to do so support the book through official, legal means!)

*deep sigh regarding the current state of affairs re: comixology*

I digress.

I decided to start with this page here because there’s a lot of awesome stuff going on, IMO.

I mentioned this when they released the preview pages but the COLORSSSSS!!!!!

Specifically the back and forth of the blues and yellows, that not only serves as a nice way of visually separating the two scenes unfolding here, but ALSO works in tandem with the rhythm of the panel layout.

Which is ALSO very cool. Because, first and foremost, ya got SEVEN TIERS. An impressive stack of horizonal panels, maximizing the page space! Additionally, Kara’s panels grow as both her emotions and the action mount--the stunned horror of seeing Comet’s sacrifice starts small, constrained. As her shock turns to anger and she breaks the Brigands’ chains, the panel widens, and the last panel extends wider still in Kara’s final feat of strength, tearing the Brigands’ ship apart.

And! In spite of alternating settings and panel sizes, the whole page flows seamlessly thanks to Evely aligning all the focal points vertically; Ruthye and Krem face one another on either side of an invisible center line established in panel one, which continues on down the page; Kara’s face is centered on it in panel two, then Ruthye’s eye and grip on the hilt in panel three, and so on and so forth. Everything lands on that center.

SO. GOOD.

We see this carefully composed rhythm and alignment for the first five pages of the book (but it never gets boring or repetitive, as Evely changes up the sizes of panels and utilizes clever insets to keep things interesting as well as lend visual and narrative weight to certain scenes, i.e. the panels of Comet’s death are massive compared to the tiny panels of Ruthye cutting Krem loose). But then this pattern breaks on page six, when Ruthye’s fight with Krem literally throws her off balance.

Recall Evely’s usual trick, of physically arranging panels to match the flow of the physical action on the page! Here, we do not have a smooth path--it’s a more chaotic arrangement, which captures the feeling of the sudden upset in the fight. 

By the end of the page, though, Ruthye regains the upper hand, and the subsequent pages fall back into that tightly controlled/structured alignment. 

ALL THE KEY IMAGES AND ACTIONS ARE ON THAT CENTER LINE. A great way to guide our eye not only within the panels themselves, but across the entire page!

Anyways, I’m rambling at length about this because the fight between Ruthye and Krem is really important; it takes up the majority of this final issue, but not only that! The whole series kinda hinges on this specific showdown. If it doesn’t have the proper pacing and execution, well. You’ve blown the whole book!

(Which is why I disagree with the criticism that this issue specifically spends too much time on Ruthye and not enough on Kara but we’ll get there, we’ll get there XD)

Right, so. Ruthye’s all set to kill Krem. Everything she’s done, everything she’s gone through, it’s all been leading to this. MOMENT. She even has a big speech prepared, and I must say, it is a good speech. A speech that once again reminds us of how much Ruthye loved her father, and how much he clearly loved her.

(We’re still in tightly structured panels, BTW.)

(I have to put this here b/c it won’t fit anywhere else, so, an aside: I know it’s been a Thing since the start of the book but I don’t think I ever really thought about the fact that Ruthye’s family literally farms rocks. Like. She says her dad planted pebbles and harvested stones. Such a weird, neat little detail about her planet!)

(Okay, back to business.) 

The narrative has reached a point where Ruthye is so justified in wanting this guy dead. But when the time comes!

Why HELLO, staggered, off-center panels! WE MEET AGAIN!

Which must mean another visual representation of the inner turmoil that Ruthye is feeling! As she herself is no longer ‘centered’ and in tight control of herself/the situation!

She can’t kill Krem!

WELL BRONCO BILL WAS A CEN-TAUR, WAS A GOOD FRIEND O’ MINE  ���

I must pause to mention Horse-Man.

WHO WAS INDEED, SECRETLY A MAN.

(Also King confirmed this is a COIE homage, NOICE.)

(Oh, also, “Bronco” Bill Starr is the name Comet uses as his civilian/human identity.) 

Anyways, as I mentioned in a previous post, I’m genuinely sad that Comet actually, for real, dies in the end here.

But in terms of expendable characters, I actually think Comet is ideal? Like, King gets to have his cake and eat it too; we’re introduced to a Comet that (probably!) doesn’t carry the creepy baggage of his Silver Age counterpart (it helps that Kara is older here, and that King never specifies when, exactly, they met) so not only does the story get to indulge in some of the retro, almost fairytale-esque wackiness of those original Super-Horse stories, but King also gets to leverage Kara’s close connection to the character to sell her final descent into full despair--Comet’s sacrifice is the last straw for her. 

Also, mentioned before but I will mention again, Evely went and made Comet handsome. 

HOW DARE SHE. XD

Not only that, but Comet’s whole vibe--as well as the way Evely has designed/rendered him--matches the tone of the book so well? On a journey across the universe that has features some pretty fantastical locales and circumstances--space dragons and Kryptonite suns and wicked pirates--a centaur from ancient Greece who’s cursed by a magical spell? Fits right in. 

But, okay. To briefly circle back, there is admittedly that question of, ‘Why does Comet have to die? That’s so random, and it happens so quick.’

And I say again: Kara needs to be at her absolute lowest after her confrontation with the Brigands.

It’s just as King’s said from the beginning: in this book, he didn’t want to be precious with Supergirl. He wanted to really push the character to her absolute limits.

So yeah. Kara’s not in a great place, emotionally or physically as she meets up with Ruthye, which brings us TO....

TWIST NUMBER 1:

Ruthye can’t kill Krem, Kara shows up and decides to do it herself, and Ruthye doesn’t understand Kara’s actions, because from the beginning, she was quite firm about no killing, and also that they had to save Krypto.

So Ruthye’s like:

(Except, you know, minus the smiling.)

Which brings us to THE TWIST!

Krypto’s been safe this WHOLE TIME! 

I will admit, I did not see that coming. XD

And I can feel it--I can FEEL the outcry of so many offended SG comic fans, taking to their fan reviews to shout in outrage that ‘Supergirl lied! This whole thing was based on a lie!’

To which I say...well you’re not wrong. XD But also, let us look back and what this book has established...basically from the outset:

And, more recently in issue seven:

(The text is small so I’ll quote it) “And I learned then that up can be down and right can be wrong, and a lie told well can be true and good.”

So, keeping those elements in mind, we go to Kara’s explanation:

Kara knew words were not going to work with Ruthye, and that Ruthye would spend her life obsessed with getting revenge on this man. Not only that, but she’d most likely never succeed in catching him. In short, this would destroy her.

And Kara knows this because she sees some of herself in Ruthye.

As she says, it’s like her dreaming of Krypton.

I reblogged this recently but here it is again:

This is a panel from King’s Heroes in Crisis, which centers on a place called The Sanctuary--a kind of superhero rehabilitation center where the costumed folks of the DC Universe can go to therapy. So we get these bits of ‘confessions’ from various characters.

I remember someone jokingly shared this on twitter when SG:WoT was announced and they said something like: It’s gonna be 8 issues of this.

And you know what...they’re kinda right!

I think this is an aspect of Kara that King considers to be at the heart of her character.

Kara still dreams of Krypton. Which is both a lovely and tragic thing.

AND THUS! WE ARRIVE AT THE CLIMAX! After a journey Kara went on with Ruthye to save her from a lifetime defined by hate*, she encounters just. The worst of the worst, and the very girl she set out to save is still seeking vengeance???

She has failed, utterly and completely; Comet is dead, she has nothing left to lose. So she picks up the sword, ready to end it.

That’s some mighty fine, meaty character conflict, there.

Mmmm, ya love to see it.

But you know what I love even more?

This page:

Brace yerselves, we’re quotin’ the text!

“I learned it! Back on my home. When you kept on fighting and you had no right to. Or during the travel. When you helped me to wash up after going. Even in the midst of all the ruckus of that bus, you took that time. Or in that town where I saw true evil. And I felt eternally lost, and you let me lean on your shoulder and you put an arm around me, pulling me back until I was found. All those weeks chasing the wreckage of the Brigands. And all you did in each place of horror was help those who needed helping, extending to them what you’d given to me. A shoulder to lean on. And when the very sun was against you and had drawn out ever last ounce of strength, you still helpd your arm out to evil and kept it at bay. I saw you outrun magic, just whispering into the impossible that it had no control over you, none at all. Eve now, with a ship of devils above me, I felt no fear, for I knew that you were amongst them and the devils would soon fade away.”

(It goes on but I’ll stop there. XD Also, bolded my favorite part which also happens to be the part that made me cry THANKS A LOT, TOM.)

Ruthye walks Kara back from the edge, and once more I can sense potential complaints: “Ruthye saves Supergirl?? She gets the big damn hero moment???”

Yes, she does. Because Supergirl showed her how to be the hero.

They save eACH OTHER.

If Ruthye doesn’t walk Kara back, if she doesn’t step in, then it means Kara hasn’t succeeded. She has failed, the universe is a dark and cruel place, all hope is lost.

But of course, that’s not what happens. Because she’s Supergirl.  

Kara’s strength of character, her ideals, her qualities both heroic and otherwise, are revealed in Ruthye.

(*Quick note: I’m not suggesting that the parallel here, between Ruthye and Kara, is a one-to-one situation--Kara clinging to the memory of Krypton doesn’t mean she’s lived a life defined by pain and hate. Rather, if we think back to issue six, it’s more about always feeling just a little bit lost:

“She had visited so many planets, but she never saw anything quite like that view again. Red and blue leaves and the wind blowing through them.”

“...she is eternally searching for something. Perhaps justice. Perhaps explanation. Perhaps… Perhaps a tree outside her window, red and blue leaves and the wind that blows between them.”)

(Which is it’s own sort of tragedy, but not like. A hateful one.)

(And we LOVE TO SEE A KARA whose motivation is like. ‘I’ve felt pain, and I’m going to make sure no one has to hurt like I do.’)

(MMMMMM, so good.) 

AHEM. Okay. Moving on tooooooo:

TWIST, THE SECOND!

We abruptly jump to both a new setting and, apparently, a new time! As we arrive on Ruthye’s rock farm, many years later.

We see an aged Ruthye and KARA IN A NEW SUIT.

I REPEAT. KARA. IN A NEW. SUIT.

YES I'm using the gif again. XD

Because it IS PRACTICALLY PERFECT, IN EVERY WAY.

Not just the design of the suit itself--which I’ll get to in a sec--but the lighting! The colors! 

BEST BOY KRYPTO, ALIVE AND WELL AND NOT DEAD IN THE BACKYARD ON THE MOON!

(Yes yes I know that Future State is supposed to be the ‘bad’ future but I’m still mad about it. XD)

The shape of the cape! The clouds! The HAIR!

10000/10, perfect attire for saving the galaxy. 

Right, okay, so the actual design of the suit: 1.) Love that it’s designed by a woman! Which is not to say that women are inherently better at, or preferable to men in terms of designing superhero costumes. Rather, it’s more about the fact that so much of Kara’s comics history has been driven and defined by dudes that it’s refreshing to see a woman get to steer a big visual/creative decision like this. In the DCU mainline canon, no less!

(Though I kinda doubt we’ll see this look again any time soon--as mentioned, this appears to take place in the future, so current books aren’t really beholden to it, which is a DAMN SHAME.)

(....PKJ is pretty great about playing nice with other books in continuity, maybe he’ll insist on it at some point in the future, if Kara shows up in one of his books?)

(Anyways.)

2.) SHORT HAIRED KARAAAAAA! Specifically! A very Silver Age look, that Evely has used in this series but ALSO back in Sugar and Spike!

I love it.

The suit avoids falling into the trap of looking like blue footy-pajamas by utilizing some of the same tricks we see in the season five suit from the TV show--we’re got the two different shades of blue, as well as some neat piping to add further visual interest. The belt has been carried over from the previous costume, but when paired with the pants, it recalls the type of clothing we saw Kara wear back on Krypton/Argo. (The boots, too, look like the type she wore back home!) Said boots don’t come up as high as the ones on the TV suit, but they still function similarly--again, the biggest problem when designing a super suit that does away with the skirt/trunks is finding an aesthetically pleasing solution to breaking up all that blue. Bringing the red of the shoes up higher on the leg unifies the other red elements--they don’t look small and lost! Finally, the cape is like. A best of both worlds situation. XD I personally am an advocate of exposed neck/collar bone Supes--the high-collared capes can look restrictive and stiff. This cape does have a high collar, but opens up the front. Not only that, but it flairs a little as it drapes over the shoulders, bringing more Kryptonian clothing shape language into the mix!

IT’S VERY GOOD. BRAVO TO BILQUIS EVELY, AS WELL AS MAT LOPES FOR THOSE GORGEOUS PRIMARY COLORS.

Also it was noted by @thatsjustsupergirl​ that, much like in the TV show, the suit acts as a great visual marker of Kara’s growth/maturation; I love the classic skirt look, and always will, but it is a very youthful outfit, and has unfortunately become tied to the modern DC take of keeping Kara stuck in adolescence/young adulthood.

I love that this book brought back twenty-something Kara, like in the halcyon days of Pre-Crisis. XD And even if my prediction wasn’t correct--that the book didn’t formally change the IP from Supergirl to Superwoman...

Like. It’s totally there, visually. She’s the Woman of Tomorrow by story’s end. XD

(Which is not to say skirts are bad or solely for younger women/people it’s just ONE CASE where the changing of a costume jives with the overall direction of a fictional character NUANCE, INTERNET. WE CAN HAVE NUANCE IN THESE DISCUSSIONS.)

Wow, okay, got really distracted by the suit, haven’t even gotten to the twist yet. XD

THE SECOND TWIST! Neither Ruthye nor Kara killed Krem.

The ending of the ‘book’ we’ve been reading--Ruthye’s narration--is false!

Aw man, remember back when issue one came out, and a bunch of SG comics fans accused Tom King of making Kara a murderer? And I was over here in my corner like, “I want to see how this goes?”

XD

I’ve seen a lot of folks confused by this twist, actually. I guess they assume that Ruthye’s ‘fictional fiddle faddle’ refers to the entirety of the book, and therefore, everything we’ve just read is potentially a fabrication.

Which...mmm. Is not how I read it.

Obviously, the ending is fake. The dialogue between Ruthye and Kara reveals that Ruthye made it up as a way to provide protection for herself--the Brigands believed (and still believe, thanks to Ruthye’s book) that Kara killed Krem, so they went after her rather than Ruthye.

Ruthye was thus allowed to live out her life in relative peace on her family’s rock farm, without the fear of being hunted across the universe by evil space pirates.

Everything else...is kinda up to the reader, honestly! XD King leaves a whole lotta room for interpretation.

But I tend to think that everything we’ve seen--that is, the art--is the actual account of what went down; the narration boxes--the ‘book’--isn’t so much describing the art itself but is giving the story its general shape/structure/series of events.

(Does that make any sense? XD It sounded good in my head.) 

For instance, note that the narration completely vanishes in some places in these last few issues--the ‘book’ stops telling us what happened, and instead we just get the truth of it, as it were.

Like here, in the final set of pages--no narration over most of them as Krem’s TRUE fate is revealed: he spent hundreds of years in the phantom zone, atoning for his misdeeds. It then picks up on the final to contrast the real ending with the fake one.

I actually love the whole myth and legend vibe. Maybe some of it was exaggerated, maybe some of it was misremembered, but the emotional core of it remains true, that of the journey of this young girl and young woman.

AND SO, THE END.

Yet another point of contention among naysayers XD

Kara saves Ruthye in that she shows her how to live a life free of hate and vengeance, and she takes on the burden of handling the Brigands.

“But!” critics cry, “Ruthye still kills Krem, so it’s all for naught!”

Well.

I’ll admit, the art is an obvious and deliberate callback to the first issue, where Krem kills Ruthye’s father. So I can definitely see why folks would insist that Ruthye has killed him.

But.

Krem is moving after she whacks him, seeming to clutch his head where he’s been hit.

Not only that, but. In issue one, Ruthye’s father is killed at sunset, the world around Ruthye literally growing dark.

Here, the sun rises over the whole proceeding, suggesting, not a grim, bloody end, but rather a vibrant, shining beginning.

Not so much in the sense that Ruthye can begin living--she’s clearly been doing that.

But she let Kara put Krem in the Phantom Zone--she allowed Krem to face the judgement of others rather than a punishment she chose. She’s been denied that one last act of closure (but, again, importantly! She chose to forego it!)

Basically, it’s her turn now. And she gets to tell him, ‘no, actually, I do not forgive you for murdering my father.’

(And by tell I mean: smack him in the face.)

And Kara lets her have that space, that choice. Kara’s done her part, she’s made sure that Krem faced the proper kind of justice and served his time.

She saved him!

Once more, I think King gets to have his cake, and eat it too. XD

(Also, like. I read this as just a smack on the head because it’s way more charming/funny that way? And would sit better with not only Ruthye’s prior characterization, but also with the lessons she’s learned from Kara.)

(And like I said, the ‘book’ picks up again here, to provide maximum contrast between the true events and the false; if Krem was killed here it would sorta undermine the impact.)

But I’ve heard an argument for ‘Krem is killed’ on a comic review podcast, and the way the reviewer explained it, it still jives with the whole message and theme of the book.

(Not as well, in my humble opinion, but. Still technically would work.)

Should note, the character acting and the clarity of the silhouettes in the above page is excellent. 

FINAL THOUGHTS:

So yeah. I liked this! A lot. I mean. A lot. 

(In case I hadn’t made that exceedingly clear. XD)

It’s certainly an unconventional Supergirl story, but I really think it’s what the character needed.

No Clark. No cousin angst. No rotating roster of underdeveloped love interests/side characters. No justifying the existence of a Supergirl.

It was just Kara being awesome for eight wonderful issues.

IDK if DC will really commit to something like this ever again--the fact that this is one of the first Tom King books in a while to not get a hardcover tells me DC still isn’t confident that Supergirl can sell trades.

But like. that’s fine. This book exists, and it’s so very, very good, and BILQUIS EVELY DREW AN ENTIRE SUPERGIRL SERIES FROM START TO FINISH AND IT WAS JUST AS PRETTY AS I KNEW IT WOULD BE AAAHHHHHHHHH!

That’s right. We got in some yelling about the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!!!!! XD

Not only was Evely’s art stunning throughout, but I canNOT get over Mat Lopes colors. KNOCK-OUT AMAZING, EVERY TIME.

And King’s prose? Equally affecting, with a unique and unexpected voice that brought this strange, poetic adventure to life.

I always drop the ball on talking letters so my sincere apologies to Clayton Cowles and in fact all letterers out there for not properly appreciating the art form, I WILL TRY TO DO BETTER IN THE FUTURE.

But, briefly: There was a LOT of narration/caption boxes to handle, across all eight issues, and never once did it feel like they overwhelmed the art. and they never became confusing in their placement.

(Also I love the design of Ruthye’s CHMMP as she bites Krem’s arm.)

And of course, hats off to all the editors--there were some changes throughout the series, but it didn’t feel like the book had changed hands--just one smooth, seamless journey.

I worry that I might be hyping this book up too much--that my bias for Evely’s art, and Kara’s character, and heck, even my fairly neutral-to-positive opinion on King is kinda driving me to heap too much praise on this title.

Like. Okay. I think this is the best King book that’s come out in a while, but of course I would. It’s a Supergirl book drawn by one of my favorite artists. 

But I’ve seen Tom King fans who are not necessarily die-hard Supergirl fans express the same sentiment! So:

(Man just. Recycling all the gifs today, I guess. XD)

I admittedly have some nitpick-y hang ups here and there but they’re so minor when compared to the incredibly well-crafted whole of the book.

Absolutely one of my top three favorite Supergirl titles, and easily the best Supergirl solo book that DC’s put out in years. 

SO. IN CONCLUSION.

Way back, waaaaay back in June, when issue one dropped. The consensus from many reviewers was that Tom King was once more breaking the characterization of a beloved DC superhero to suit his own narrative needs. This Supergirl was edgy. This Supergirl was tough. Tom King must think Kara’s just forever BROKEN and lives a life of LITERAL, UNENDING PAIN.**

(**These are actual, real takes I have seen with my own two eyeballs.)

To which I say:

Tom King’s Crusty!Kara was actually Classic!Kara this entire time! XD

Yaaaaaay! :D :D :D

Right, well.

I think this is where I shall end this long post of Ruthye, Kara, and Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow. 

[thattimdrakeguy]

I am very sorry for what you are going through, think that in adittion to that unpleasant people who attack you, there are also many more who enjoy, respect and follow your content, and want the best for you. I really like your reviews and opinions, and although I do not always agree with you, I respect and validate your opinion as much as anyone's because that is to be respectful with others and have common sense.--

--You should not take into account what people who are unable to respect another human being like them say, that they cannot even separate reality from fiction, all for a simple opinion different from theirs about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER, you cannot even take them seriously. If those people need to insult, despise and make someone feel less for a reason like that, it simply speaks of how miserable they are as humans on and off the internet.--

Please don't take into account what these people say, listen to those who appreciate you and show respect. I hope you feel better and I am sorry for what is happening in your life, but you can always forward with your will and the people around you.(Hugs)

I only read these ones this morning, or afternoon more accurately cause I have a very bad sleep schedule for weeks cause I been playing video games too late into the day, but I’m slowly working on it. I’m just really bad at it.

And all I can really say to accurately give my reaction to it, was that it was something I definitely needed to read first thing in the morning. If it wasn’t for those messages yesterday, and a friend helping me out I may not have even been calmed down enough to go to bed at all. I could’ve easily not gone to sleep literally at all and had been even worse today because of it to the point of having another meltdown of a day.

Like I don’t wanna make myself sound too good, because if I did, I’d feel like I was lying, because my mind feels like a bloody nose filled up with tissue paper, if that even makes a darling lick of comprehension.

I find it so entirely weird, and patronizing, and frustrating how the fandom can be, if not worse. Like I say something unpopular, I do it a lot, probably with literally every freaking character. Even Tim, because I know that quite a few Tim fans don’t like me either.

I don’t read every comic and go “Oh this must just be how it works”, because that’s not how my brain is wired. I’m Autistic, I go in-depth, I do a lot of research, that is how I am wired when I get a hyperfixation, I want to know everything. So I say a lot of unpopular stuff because I don’t just accept things, because I don’t work that way.

But it goes like this when it comes to people just being miserable, they have to make me out to either be a bigot or bias, they either don’t even read what I say, or just don’t acknowledge what I say.

My biggest point they will leave out completely to focus on other things that are either completely irrelevant and just there to make me look bad even though it doesn’t really make sense what it has to do anything once you think about it a lick more, or just make me look straight up like a crappy person.

I got really ranty and rambly after this, and I try not to take up people’s dashboards as much. So I’ll put this here. If it’ll work, cause one time I don’t think it did, and it made me panic once cause I felt really bad. But it just would not show up.

Because trying to make a bad face out of a real life living person isn’t that bad, compared to the horrors of having to acknowledge the arcs and actions that their favorite character been through evidentially.

Sorry to say and everything, but I don’t see how on Earth Tim cheating on Ariana has anything to do with a literal whole other arc of Steph being abusive and doing really horrible things, or all those “teases” that were actually flirts that were making Tim genuinely uncomfortable to the point of sexual harassment, and told her not to do, which she didn’t actually always listen to sometimes, surprisingly to some. I also don’t see why it’s so hard to comprehend that Tim kissing Steph just because he got ahead of himself because he was euphoric he was about to die, yet it was made clear he didn’t do sexually or romantically, isn’t as bad (comparatively because it’s still insanely inappropriate and weird, but I wouldn’t call him a pervert over it) to me as Steph literally pinning Tim down during a gun fight to kiss him against his will, or taking advantage of Tim believing she was dead and giving her CPR to do it again. Like I don’t really see why saying “Just read the comics” has to do with anything, because I don’t have the art skills to just make all those panels up like that. Which by the way, I don’t give a single fuck about what bad thing Steph has done. I don’t like her because a lot of her stories are badly written, and a lot of her fans are straight up assholes. Which they conveniently ignore, because I must be villainized, because they can’t handle me acknowledging something that isn’t their idealized image. But let me also state that there are assholes in literally every fandom, I just have certain ones that decide to be assholes to me. And I don’t remember the part where I said teasing was bullying either. I can’t find that on my list of thoughts in my brain. Almost like they don’t actually know how I think or what I meant. 

And I don’t know why on Earth Tim not trusting Damian to the point of being kind of scummy has much to do with Damian doing horrid things in comics they like as well. They’re their own separate people ya know? I’m not comparing characters, because I’m not actually trying to shit on the characters you should realize. Not every negative thing is formed out of toxicity. Toxic positivity where people act like not just enjoying everything is so bad is actually a thing. And I see it quite often in fandoms, and it comes from a good place, but my goodness, just let people express themselves sometimes. It’s not going to hurt anybody as long as they’re not actually an asshole or you just have a fragile ego.

It seems pretty irrelevant to me. Implying that I hate the characters because of these actions is also pretty dumb to me as well, because that’s not the case nor how it works. They keep acting like me not acknowledging the bad thing Tim does in the same posts is some showing of my bias, but no, I just view it as fucking irrelevant, because I do bring up when Tim does something bad when ever it is relevant. It is that simple. I think the only time I’ve ever even could truly come across as trying to baby and defend Tim was me saying Tim cheating on Ari with Steph was out of character, which I still hold that opinion too, but I don’t simply make shit up, I just notice how rushed it was, and how it goes against how Tim is about morals, Steph, and his literal stance on cheating. Stuff that you would actually judge what’s in or out of character on.

I just give everything the same standard. I’ve never denied Tim wasn’t passive aggressive or conscending to anyone, or has violated privacy, or was immature. If I had it was probably me caught up in the moment, and pretty weird, because I’ve actively talked about it before.

And I’m referencing stuff in the past with these oddly specific examples, that hasn’t bugged me truly in a while, but when I find a new example of stuff, I can’t help but have it come back to mind and make me question how people got to just be shivery little jerks over things like made-up characters.

I’ve acknowledged the fact that my blog was too anti-Steph plenty of times, even as it was happening, because it was mostly through anons and not me. Some of which I defended Steph on. I just had too much anxiety not responding to them, because I’d feel a sense of guilt for ignoring someone. Which I’m over and past.

I’m not going to be held down by stuff I already corrected about myself.

It’s been so heavily implied to me before, that groups just talk mad shit about me, and made up this horrendous little reputation for me among themselves, and it is so disheartening, considering I’m just this baby faced geek that read too many comics, simply explaining stuff that had happened in actual comics without actual bias. I don’t run DC Comics. I’m just a blogger that they really really don’t like, and take it as a personal attack of some kind, at least going off of how they act.

Maybe it’s what I get for expecting people to treat fiction as fiction and not a big freaking deal when I say something or don’t say something, because they’d understand the context I’m trying to explain literal events in comics as they are, and other things that happened in other situations have no relevance to what I’m saying, because I’m not making a bashing piece like they seem to think.

I know I take fiction very seriously, because I just really want good content again. But I don’t make real life people’s lives miserable. Do ya think I talk shit about Bendis all the time? Not really. I’ve genuinely probably sang his praises more than otherwise. I think Tynion’s the closest example of when I could’ve, but that was years ago at this point. I’ve made it so much more clearer it’s about the comics than them, because simply I’ve realized how scummy it is to mock an actual person, who’s probably actually a really cool guy to know. Do I fuck that up sometimes, probably. But I’m definitely not telling him to kill himself.

If they can’t acknowledge what I actually say, and continue to just try to make me look bad. I don’t personally view myself as the bad one. That’d be utterly redundant.

It always boils down to that I just acknowledge stuff they refuse to, and they just play ignorant about, and pretend they just can’t possibly understand why anyone would say it. I didn’t pull the stuff out of my ass, I have the panels. I didn’t skip anything out. At most I just don’t find the excuses they have to be freaking relevant or over power the action at hand or sometimes the literal motivation she/he had going into it.

And it’s 100% okay, but even though this is a space on the internet, and I’m practically a loser shut in. I still live in the real world and when I’m not having a bad anxiety attack or whatever else, I try to be as reasonable as possible.

I just look at it, look at the context and past contexts, look at the motivations, judge it for what I see, and move on. And never consider it a big deal until someone else makes a big deal about it.

I don’t even view every person that does it against me to be a bad person, some of them most definitely are because they go too far with it, but some of them literally have no idea proper context anymore, or they’re just very very insecure.

It’s very difficult to outright go ‘THEY’RE ALL EVIL’, but when there’s so many that are just putrid humans that want me to take my own life, it’s a wee bit overwhelming, and understandably so, yeah?

People sometimes just don’t properly process what they’re doing, because they’re so caught up in their insecurity, or possibly even a mild ego, but there’s others that will do it because they’re so quick to anger and hatred over fucking nothing.

Welcome to reality. It’s a lot like taking a train ride through a diseased rectum sometimes. But other times it’s like taking a trolley though a nice field. It’s a mixed bag, but it’s a ride that never stops but once.

An important thing I do wanna say though, is that I have everyone who supports me in my heart. I may lose my sight of that when I’m going through an episode I’m having a heckuva lot of trouble controlling, but I’d be in a much worse spot without them. Some of them are so dang respectful, and some are just so legitimately sweet and kind that it’s a blessing to have ever had an interaction of any kind or level with them.

I don’t take any of you for granted even if sometimes I seem ignorant of it during a terrible depressive episode.

You often don’t agree with me and can make it very clear, but it’s the respect you give me nonetheless that I take as precious, because it’s some of the best stuff to receive when all else seems so bleak and lifeless. It’s not an honor everyone sadly receives, so I treasure that a lot. And when I’m feeling so down and out, it sometimes can be the one thing that keeps me even near level, and that’s such an honor that even if it’s such a small amount, because obviously it’s a Tumblr blog I’m always aware of that, it just does mean a lot to me, because it genuinely is an honor to me.

I love you guys a lot. I hope that’s always obvious even when I’m making a mess out of myself. You guys are some of my favorite people on this planet.

[dccomicsnews]

Directed by: Matt Peters, Christina Sotta

Written by: Ernie Altbacker, Mairghread Scott

Starring: Matt Ryan, Taissa Farmiga, Tony Todd, Stuart Allan, Jerry O’Connell, Jason O’Mara, Rosario Dawson, Rainn Wilson, Christopher Gorham, Shemar Moore, Hynden Walch, Roger Cross

Reviewed by: Eric Joseph

Summary

Although DC animated movies are certainly nothing new, we’ve recently been witness to a particularly special era influenced directly by New 52 comics since Justice League: War debuted in 2014 (2013, if you were to count Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox). In addition to DC’s premier superhero team enjoying their own group outings, we’ve also been treated to loose adaptations of classics such as Batman: Hush, Teen Titans: The Judas Contract and The Death of Superman.

But, as they say, all good things must come to an end.

And that’s where Justice League Dark: Apokolips War comes in. Initially assumed to be an adaptation of Darkseid War, it’s nothing of the sort. Some influence from Futures End seems to be in there, but I’d describe this as being an original story for the most part. For all intents and purposes, this is the Avengers: Endgame of the New 52-inspired DC Animated Universe. However, there’s one major difference: Apokolips War isn’t getting a sequel or continuation. This is it.

(Don’t worry. More DC animated films are on the way, with Superman: Man of Tomorrow releasing this summer. To be clear, nothing released beyond this point will tie in to the New 52 stuff. My hypothesis is that the focus will be shifted to standalone graphic novel adaptations and original stories.)

Positives

Much like the aforementioned Endgame – and unlike Infinity War – Apokolips War isn’t an overcrowded affair, even though it features guest appearances by various members of the Justice League, Justice League Dark, Suicide Squad, Teen Titans and Bat-family. For the most part, the narrative is pared down to following John Constantine, Clark Kent, Raven, Etrigan and Damian Wayne as they try to salvage what’s left after Darkseid has devastated the Earth.

To backtrack for a moment, the movie starts off with the Justice League’s heaviest of hitters taking the fight to Apokolips, but then everything goes horribly awry. Yes, this could be categorized as somewhat of a spoiler, although anyone who’s watched the first look featurette or kept up with news pertaining to the flick already knows this to be one of the basics. After that, there’s a two-year time jump that brings us to the ragtag group coming together.

If anything, I have to applaud the filmmakers for taking some serious risks. I can’t believe they got away with a lot of the stuff on display, and I’m not exactly talking about the R-rating and subsequent F-bombs. Instead, expect to see some gargantuan swings taken, with notable heroes you love dying in terribly gruesome ways. In fact, one fan favorite from the Bat-family gets eaten alive by a swarm of “Paradooms” (Parademon/Doomsday hybrids).

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This may be too much for some to digest (pun intended), but those who’ve wanted to see what it’s like when superheroes who seemingly have nothing left to lose make one last effort to overcome the ultimate evil in a post-apocalyptic world will dig what’s on hand. Also, expect for some other heroes to be, um, repurposed and serving Darkseid.

Overall, I found the plot to be quite engaging and never thought the action to be overdone or extensive. The latter notion was found all too often in some previous flicks, what with Justice League: War feeling like one endless action scene. But here, characters actually get a chance to breathe and I was at attention the entire time, knowing this was the end of the journey.

Negatives

Actually, I don’t have much to say on the negative side this time around. Although I’m admittedly not fond of seeing superheroes get massacred, the death toll worked in this context. Still, this aspect could potentially shock some viewers who may have gone in looking for the happiest of endings. So far, I think most took it in stride, as I’ve seen some very enthusiastic online reaction that I wasn’t able to avoid. (I try going in without outside influence as much as humanly possible.)

One other thing I’d like to mention in the vaguest way – because I’m trying to spare major spoilers – is what occurs at the very end. I wouldn’t exactly call it a “Deus ex Machina” in the purest sense, but you may find yourself asking “why didn’t they do that thirty minutes ago?” Regardless, it makes for a beautifully bittersweet conclusion to this saga.

Verdict

Now, I’m not going to say Justice League Dark: Apokolips War is the best animated DC movie ever made like some are, but it’s pretty damn good nonetheless. If you’ve come this far, you have no fathomable reason not to check it out. Here’s hoping the folks in the animation wing keep it up with whatever comes next.

Review: Justice League Dark: Apokolips War Directed by: Matt Peters, Christina Sotta Written by: Ernie Altbacker, Mairghread Scott Starring: Matt Ryan, Taissa Farmiga, Tony Todd, Stuart Allan, Jerry O'Connell, Jason O'Mara, Rosario Dawson, Rainn Wilson, Christopher Gorham, Shemar Moore, Hynden Walch, Roger Cross…

[twin-images]

The Thing About Fan Requests

In our ongoing quest to become video content creators, we regularly watch the producers who inspire us and who have helped shaped Twinsanity to being it is and soon will become: Phelan Porteous, Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Dave Ganselle, Allison Pregler, Greg Sepelak & Trent Troop, Lewis Lovhaug, Mathew Buck, Bob Chipman, Digi Valentine, etc. Whenever we make the mistake of reading the comment sections of their videos, one occurrence that we find curious is when viewers make the following request:

“Hey, content producer, could you review this thing/show/movie/game/franchise that I’m interested in??” “You should review this!” “Now do this!” “Review this thing that I’m into! Do it! Now!”

We’ve even gotten a few fan requests ourselves. Other creators can do what they choose, but my response whenever I see this question pop up is always the same:

Instead of asking Doug, Linkara, Phleous, Lupa, Bob, Erod or whoever to review this thing, why don’t YOU review it?

Sometimes when I’ve posted this, people take it OK, but more often I get met with responses like:

“What?? Me dare to dirty my precious little hands on actual work? Perish the thought!”

Or

“HOW DARE YOU suggest that I get off my ass and do something for a subject I’M passionate about and might find to be a fun, challenging and interesting new experience! I’LL @#$%ING KILL YOU!!!!”

No, really. Some people honestly get offended when you suggest that maybe they should make their own videos about their favorite media instead of begging content producers to realize their visions for them. You just casually suggest that maybe they should make their own stuff and some folks act as though you just told them to go gargle with glue.

You clearly have a passion for this thing, and you clearly have a strong opinion on it, these content creators can’t be expected to look at everything on the planet, they aren’t going to be doing this forever and new talent has to come from somewhere, so why not do it yourself? These producers have schedules and lives of their own; why should they just drop whatever they’re working to fulfill your fanboy/fangirl requests? Especially when 9 times out 10, you’re not even offering up any money for their services?

Listen, folks, I’m gonna confide with y’all; we haven’t started making videos yet, but when we do, while we’ll appreciate any requests from fans, y’all should know this right now: we won’t be taking fan requests for free. We’ll likely be starting up a Patreon account, and then folks who want to float some cash our way might get a little somethin’-somethin’, but we primarily tackle the topics that we’re interested in; if you want us to talk about that you’re interested, you’re going to have to pay us. Content producers gotta eat too.

This “Review this for me!” mentality is something I’ve truly never understood. Jason and I have been blogging for 8 years now; we’ve never asked anyone else to write our blog for us. I just don’t get it.

Here are some actual fan requests that I’ve over the years:

“Since you referenced Totally Spies, now you have to review it!”

-No, I don’t. Where’s that carved in stone?

“Now that you’ve reviewed Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, now do Masked Rider and Big Bad Beetleborgs.”

-Are you telling me or asking me? ‘Cause I respond better when asked politely. But now that you’ve demanded I do those shows, I’m not going to as a deliberate act of protest; that’s just my nature as a rebellious Aquarius.

“So when can we expect a review of the new Friday the 13th movie??”

-I don’t know; it depends on how soon you make and upload one. Halloween’s just around the corner, get crackin’, Jack!

“You just did a video about ear-worms in cartoons. Could you do an anime one?”

-I could, but I won’t. I got stuff to do. Tell you what, you make an anime one and I’ll watch your video. Deal?

“You should make a video of the Top 11 Animaniacs songs. It should start with a shot of a sunrise; you get up, open the window and then call Malcolm, Tamara and Spoony on the phone, then it cuts to a stage where...”

-Are you giving me directions on how to do this? Seriously? What balls! If you have all these specifics on how this video should be done, then YOU’RE the one who should be doing it, Mr. Spielberg.

“Can you review the following before Christmas: The Pest, Little Miss Sunshine, Pitch Perfect, Misfits of Science, Forever Knight, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, The X-Men, Wolverine and Iron Man animes, Teen Wolf...”

-Do you really think I’m gonna go over all of that? For FREE, no less? You’ve got to give me the name of your dealer, ‘cause that’s some serious weed your smokin’!

“I really think you should review Gallivant. I really enjoyed it and would like to know your views on it.”

-OK, fair enough you just want to know what he thinks of it, but what if he hasn’t seen Gallivant? Or what if he has seen it but thought it was terrible? If he gave something you liked a negative review, then you’d be pissed off. This is why I think it’s best for folks to put out their own stuff instead of asking others to do it for them.

But by far one of THE stupidest responses I’ve ever heard when I suggested that maybe a fan should review a thing they like themselves is...

“I can’t, ‘cause I’m not a reviewer like he is.”

-Um, do you think dude was making videos and producing vlogs and reviews the second he came out of his mother’s womb? No offense, bruh, but that’s straight up stupid. NO ONE is born a reviewer. Making and producing content is a SKILL that people can learn. Reviewers aren’t a separate species; they’re just people with a passion for and an opinion on something who are willing to put in the necessary work to express their feelings, thoughts and ideas to others. If you don’t know how to make videos, then you can learn, just like they did. If you think that’s a too big a task, there are other ways to express yourself creatively, like starting a blog or something. It’s not complicated. In any event, stop making excuses, get off your ass and do something. Use your voice. Get your opinions out there. Stop making excuses.

We’re going to start making and uploading videos soon, and recently I’ve gotten the spark to do something else in addition to that: I had initially been thinking of starting a second blog for original fiction, but after joining Tumblr last year, I’ve decided to do online comics instead. I’ve always loved to draw and hope to make my own animated shorts one day, seeing some of the awesome comics and artwork here (particularly the strips Ohmygoles and What’s Up, Beanie? -shout-out to those lovely and funny ladies) has inspired me. Do I know all the ins and out of producing my own comics yet? No, but I can and will learn. Will my first attempts suck? Most likely, ‘cause first attempts usually do. But I’m still going to do it. I firmly believe that being proactive is better than just sitting on your duff bitching and moaning. You can’t hope to succeed if you don’t dare to fail.

[thebookbandwagon]

Unpopular Opinions Book Tag

I’ve seen this list of tag prompts floating around and find them really fun to read and watch so here’s my take on it. This is just for fun and I’ve put the image of all the stuff I talk about below so you can skip over this post if you don’t like the idea of seeing potential criticisms of them. My Youtube version of this is here.

1.) A popular book or book series that you didn’t like

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. I read the first two in the trilogy and I just don’t connect on a personal level to any of the characters. I’ve enjoyed other books by this author but Mistborn just… doesn’t do it for me. I don’t have the level of emotional investment in the characters that I want and they don’t feel like vivid people to me.

2.) A popular book or book series that everyone else seems to hate but you love

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat. I know not everyone hates this series, but there’s a fairly high proportion of the people who read it who end up hating it. Based on the negative reviews I’ve seen, many people’s reasons for hating it seems to be rooted in labelling it as problematic. While I agree there are a couple of elements of the series that aren’t handled with as much care as they should be, I still don’t think it’s quite as bad as some people make it out to be. It’s also a pet peeve that some people make it out as if an author having certain things happening in their stories means they endorse those things happening in real life and that’s just... not logical.

3.) An otp that you don’t like

99% of the time I just don’t care about pairings and there aren’t that many pairings I can think of that I actively dislike instead of just not caring. Buffy/Angel? I’m counting it as qualifying for this tag because it has comics. I never found a Buffy pairing I either liked or was neutral about. I found Buffy/Angel to be way too over the top and corny and too instant. I honestly have no idea what they talk about when they’re not dealing with various apocalypses and watching it made me realise where part of the inspiration for Twilight probably originated from.

4.) A popular book genre that you hardly reach for

Young Adult Fantasy that’s geared towards the older end of the spectrum. If I’m reading YA it’s either because I trust the author to write something I like in that genre or because I want to give myself a brain break and read something I can get through really quickly. I’ve found with the older end of the YA spectrum that there doesn’t seem to be much difference in the reading difficulty between YA and Adult within the fantasy genre so the genre usually just ends up not giving me what I want from it.

5.) A popular/beloved character that you do not like

Kvothe from The Name of The Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. I like there to be things characters are bad at and Kvothe was just way too good at every single thing he did for my taste. Never before have I been so invested in the main character of a book failing and I was left completely unsatisfied because at no point in The Name of the Wind does Kvothe fail when it isn’t because of being sabotaged by someone else. I know there are theories about how he’s an unreliable narrator but unless I see actual evidence on the page then I just don’t have the faith that he is. Saying that, I really did love the writing style so if Rothfuss writes anything not involving someone who I despise as much as Kvothe then I’d give it a go.

6.) A popular author that you can’t seem to get into

Leigh Bardugo? I’ve read Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom, as well as Shadow and Bone and they were all fairly meh reads for me. I feel like my reasons for not being able to get into her books come down to my repeating previous points I’ve made because they’re a combination of the genre she writes in as well as me knowing I love the tropes and character archetypes she’s using but just not having the level of investment in her characters that I want.

Robin Hobb is another popular author I can’t get into. She has characters that feel much more vivid and writes within Adult Fantasy but her pacing is so so slow and I’m not patient enough as a reader to be able to get through her lengthy books.

7.) A popular book trope that you’re tired of seeing

Redemption = Death. I love a good villain eventually turning sides or an anti-hero/anti-villain having a good redemption arc but it seems like all these arcs inevitably end in their death and it just… doesn’t have to be that way. I’d find the story far more interesting if the redemption arc doesn’t end so abruptly and the person undergoing it has to figure out their new place in the world, how to live with themselves, and other people’s changing perceptions of them.

8.) A popular series that you have no interest in reading

Lord of the Rings by J.R.R Tolkien. As a fantasy fan, peer pressure makes me feel obligated to like this series. I don’t like this series. I’ve attempted to read it three times and only managed on one of those times to get almost halfway through The Fellowship of the Ring. All the characters just don’t do anything for me (except you, Gollum) and I have no interest in what happens to them or the themes within the story.

Me not liking Lord of the Rings doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate what it’s done for the fantasy genre though and I’m well aware most of the series that I love probably wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for the book that’s basically responsible for the catalyst of the genre of fantasy books that feature worldbuilding.

9.) What movie or TV show adaptation do you prefer more than the book?

Hmm. If I was only going off seasons 1-4 of Game of Thrones I’d go with that but considering what happened after I’m… ugh.

So instead I’m going with Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. Originally by Douglas Adams, it’s a very witty and quirky comedy book series with sci-fi and fantasy elements set in modern-day (which back then would’ve been around the 80s). It follows a detective who employs bizarre techniques like Zen Navigation:

“Rather than using conventional avenues of wayfinding like consulting a map, the Zen navigation method consists of finding someone who looks like they know where they’re going and following them. This is supposed to deliver the navigator to their destination, although its results are variable and often unexpected and unintended. It very rarely gets you where you wanted to go but always where you needed to be.”

The only issue I have with Douglas Adams is that his characters tend to be a bit on the caricature-ish side but this is something the TV show put a huge amount of effort into and it paid off so so well. I had my reservations about the show since, other than Dirk, it looked very Americanised but they actually did an incredible job. It’s funny, complex, wacky, unpredictable yet (sort of) makes sense. There are lots of warm fuzzy feelings between the main characters and it’s great. Also there’s a portal to a fantasy world where the knights fight each other with giant pairs of scissors. It’s an incredibly underrated Netflix Original series that always deserved more attention than it got.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend season three full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

100% (thirteen of thirteen).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

41.16%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Seven, so just over half. Three of those are 50%+.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Zero.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-four. Thirteen who appeared in more than one episode, five who appeared in at least half the episodes, and two who appeared in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirty-nine. Eighteen who appeared in more than one episode, seven who appeared in at least half the episodes, and one who appeared in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Not nearly as good as you might expect or hope. As with previous seasons, the show’s most impressive content is not the feminist stuff at all, and on the feminist front it feels sometimes as if the show spends more time denouncing different aspects of the feminist movement as ‘the wrong kind of feminism’ than it does declaring and upholding the aspects it does approve. I tend to feel that it spends time talking the talk on women’s issues, but doesn’t often get up to walk the walk (average rating of 3).

General Season Quality:

Easily better than the previous two seasons, despite a deflated ending. It takes a much more focused approach to its storytelling in the beginning of the season, in a manner which briskly becomes refreshingly confronting and leads in to a powerful middle. Unfortunately, it never sustains quality for very long, and overall the show still suffers for being too easily distracted. It’s not infuriating, but it can be frustrating.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Ok, let me explain something about myself first, something I’ve mentioned in other (non-Crazy Ex) posts which have gone live long before this one will, but for anyone who missed it in any of those other places, here it is: I am, right now, pregnant. In fact, I am pregnant with a child conceived non-traditionally with a gay friend of mine, and as such, Darryl’s non-traditional quest for biological parenthood in this season struck a very personal chord (though, unlike Darryl, I used the phone-a-friend option as my first choice, not a fallback. Would recommend, if it’s ever relevant to your life). I bring all of this up because I can categorically declare that there are certain plot threads that you absolutely will NOT have the same reaction to if you don’t have that very personal chord being struck, and even moreso if that chord is relevant to your life right now, rather than being something that you’ve experienced in the past but has since slipped from the forefront of your attention. Thus, when I talked about feeling like the emphasis was in all the wrong places for Darryl’s part of the narrative, and expressed irritation with Heather’s pregnancy and birth? I sure ain’t mad about it for no reason. I am extremely, extremely aware of what those processes are actually like right the heck now.

I’m not going to linger on all the details, but I am particularly annoyed at the writers for dropping the ball on the pregnancy/birth part, specifically because it’s something which is so often badly dramatised in tv and film already, and the writers not only know that, they openly reference it as if they’re somehow doing better. The same way that medical professionals sometimes find it too frustrating to watch hospital dramas because of all their inaccuracies, or someone in law enforcement might cringe their way through all the egregious breaches in procedure in a cop show, there’s always a significant risk that anything depicted in fiction will make you want to tear your hair out over the way the plot warps or disregards reality that is pertinent to your life, either through a lack of proper research or understanding of the subject matter, or a conscious choice to prioritise desired storytelling beats/developments over actual logic and realism. Suffice to say there are a LOT of concessions Crazy Ex-Girlfriend asked me to make to their storytelling with this little subplot, some of which most people who have never been pregnant wouldn’t notice, and yes, some of which I would probably dismiss if I were not in the midst of the reality right now. I’m someone who has been present at actual births before and has been raised with an above-average understanding of what’s involved, so I’m used to gritting my teeth and hoping to just not be too annoyed by the way pregnancy and birth is typically depicted on screen. The fact that I am currently immersed in the reality of preparing to give birth makes me less forgiving of fictional contrivances, yes, but in the case of this show’s approach, it’s also more than that: it’s the fact that this show actively promotes itself as a feminist text. And if you’re gonna do that, and criticise the way other things (”written by men!”) depict labour, but then you also choose not to include any education/empowerment of your pregnant character, rattle off a variety of (uneducated, disempowered) cliches anyway, and then handwave it all with ‘nevermind, she just got an epidural!’ as if that ‘solves’ the difficulties of birth (and post-birth recovery, for that matter), frankly that’s just...a really unimpressive failure of feminist storytelling. Congratulations, you neglected the subject completely, at the same time as actively claiming your intent to do better than all that written-by-men schlock out there! What a tiresome charade this turned out to be.

Setting that aside though (difficult for me, as I am...very preoccupied with it), there was actually a good lot of things to like about this season, even if I do still feel that I ultimately have more criticisms than I do praise. Having Rebecca actually reach crisis point in the form of a suicide attempt, and consequently getting a diagnosis for her mental disorder and finally being able to move forward in learning to live a balanced life with BPD? Frankly, it’s not a move that I anticipated, and if you’d asked me where I thought Rebecca’s mental health plot was heading, I probably would have just shrugged it off as an unfocused thread where the ultimate goal was just ‘figure out how to be happy on your own terms instead of defining happiness through someone else’ (which is solid advice, but generalised advice, not something that would require the show to commit to a genuine mental illness). Acknowledging that Rebecca’s behaviour comes from a more distinct source than just the nebulous idea of being ‘crazy’ is a vitally important development, and it ushered in some of the best storytelling the show has offered thus far, at least when the plot maintained steady focus and made an effort to be responsible and mature in its exploration of the issue. As ever, there were still times when the show used Rebecca’s mental state for comic relief in a manner which made me uncomfortable, and times when I couldn’t interpret the intentions of the narrative - I have come to the conclusion that this show and I are on completely different wavelengths, which makes us a bad match, regardless of any elements which I do appreciate. 

On the subject of things I appreciate, I’m going to discuss the true character highlight of the show, someone I wanted to talk about after last season, not realising that if I held off until this review instead, he was gonna wind up so terribly underused in the meantime that it’s almost weird that he’s still technically part of the main cast at this point: Josh Chan. Josh Chan is...kinda the most believable part of this show, both in the bumbling good-natured balance of the character himself, and in other character’s feelings about him. Being able to buy the idea that someone would give up their whole life as they knew it to chase after this guy is kinda important to selling the concept of the show from the outset, and honestly, Josh Chan is the only time I’ve ever seen a central male love interest for whom the hype seemed to make sense. Is he perfect? Not by a long shot, but that’s fine because ‘perfection’ is as conditional as it is unattainable. The problem with male love interests, often, is that they’re written by heterosexual men who treat the character as some kind of masculine wish-fulfillment, a combination of ‘guy I wish I could be’ and ‘guy I think women should want (me)’. Josh Chan is a great example of a love interest written by women for women: he displays positive masculine-coded traits (protective, physically capable), while rejecting negative, toxic-masculine elements (aggression, possessiveness), and he embraces key ‘feminine’ traits (non-threatening, kind, soft, emotionally expressive, family-oriented), while his flaws are unobtrusive and potentially even endearing (the main one is that he’s quite stupid, which is something a lot of straight women will happily admit to liking (at least in theory), and other traits such as Josh’s childish streak can be a source of joy under some circumstances, as well as being something Josh mostly keeps a hold on so that it doesn’t become a burden to his partners). Also, it would be remiss of me to neglect to mention how refreshing and meaningful it is to have an Asian male love interest. I really enjoy not being bored to death by Josh Chan, and I am annoyed at how little of him we got this season while we wasted time with that generic slice of white bread, Nathaniel. Bring back the Chan plots, season four. Do it for me.

[nessieinthefez]

Curating your social media feed to decrease negativity

K so we all know what a downer social media can be sometimes, and yet it can be an important way to connect with people on the internet. SO here are some tips for curating your social media feed so it’s less likely to be a suckfest that makes you lose faith in humanity.

Knowledge is power: follow people who teach you stuff

Educators, libraries, history buffs, computer programmers, anyone who talks about things you’re interested and/or want to learn more about. Some of my favorites: @othmeralia -- This is the blog of a chemistry museum in Philadelphia. I visited there when I was 18 and loved it and got SO EXCITED when I found them on tumblr a few years later. @fuckyeahhistorycrushes -- Awesome historical figures you may have never heard of. Often highlights attractive folks. @thescalex -- science dude and writer (also a good friend of mine). He often posts cool science photos and videos. He and I take credit for each other’s usernames. @jstor -- yes that place where you hunt down academic sources while writing papers in college. Sounds like they’d be a boring blog to follow? WRONG. This blog is gold. @gladyourenothere -- pics of vintage postcards and what people of bygone days wrote on them @yesterdaysprint’s -- one of my absolute FAVE blogs, featuring bizarre and hilarious headlines and newspaper clips from the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. @smithsonianlibraries -- exactly what it sounds like: cool stuff from the Smithsonian’s libraries. Lots of art and books. @beautifulmedievalmanuscripts -- also exactly what it sounds like. Loads of pictures of really pretty illuminated manuscripts. @histsciart -- very cool historical science art @ahencyclopedia -- a history encyclopedia with lots of cool pictures @sineads, @thecostumevaultblog, @historicaldress -- all really great historical fashion blogs. @digitalpubliclibraryofamerica -- more historical pictures! (I have a type). Could be anything from pictures of historical figures to digitized ephemera from decades past.

Art, cuz pretty

There are LOADS of great artists/art blogs on social media in all of the mediums. Sculptors, potters, painters, photographers, comic/book illustrators, crazy cake decorators, calligraphers, you name it. Not only does following them make your feed a happier place, it can help get the artists more exposure. Some I like: Painters/illustrators/etc: @theartofanimation -- this blog features art from various artists. @cloverkin -- I have four of her prints hanging in my house @locirodrawsstuff -- and two of hers @mienar, @heikala, @prinsomnia -- illustrators and comic artists @welovewaves -- tbh I’m not sure if this is one artist or mulitple, but the art ranges from cool to trippy Photographers (mostly of nature and stuff): @juliamstarr @photocosma @amcapturing  @magic-spelldust @xxluminescence -- a blog that focuses on pictures of cool lamps + other light sources @frederick-ardley Writers: @maggie-stiefvater @neil-gaiman Sculptors/potters/clayworkers/cool thing makers (it should be noted that I also have a Type when it comes to sculpture blogs so please seek out what fits your preferences):  Cutesy clay critter types: @bon-appeteats, @plushlikecreaturesgallery, @quequinoxart, @rivalmit, @emilysculpts, @evgenyhontor, @mijbilcreatures Potters: @foxtail-pottery, @andrewclarkpottery, @moolric-ceramics, @jtceramics, @skeletaldropkick (and yes their pottery is just as cool/quirky as their name). @genuslocii -- Outdoor sculptures and street art @sculpture-center -- features lots of different sculptors 

Art curators/bloggers/museums @sophiegunnol -- modern stuff @almostarts -- weird/cool art, lots of it 3D @frickfineartslibrary -- a library focusing on art @didoofcarthage -- historial stuff ….and there are a lot more but this section is big enough so I’ll stop here. Point is there are people out there making your favorite kinds of art and they have great Tumblrs.

CASTLES

Because whose social media feed doesn’t need more castles? I recommend: @castlesandmedievals -- cool castles from all around the world @bibliotheca-sanctus -- this is actually libraries but libraries that are like in gorgeous palaces and shit (as a librarian I also have a bias towards libraries) 

Follow the funnies

Humor is always a good way to brighten the day, or your dash. @effinbirds -- Old-timey illustrations of birds with rude captions @badsciencejokes -- all the science puns @outofcontextdnd -- really weird things people say while playing RPGs, only without the context of why they were said (not that the context makes some of them any better).

Feed your inner bookworm

Lots of folks have great book-based blogs. Some focus on photography, others on reviews, usually it’s a good mix of both. Some of my faves: @theboywhoreadsbooks -- pretty pictures and book recs. Includes LGBT+ book recs. @paperfury -- ALL THE PRETTY RAINBOW BOOKSHELVES. @coffee-bookss -- if you like the books and coffee/tea aesthetic, this blog is for you.

This list is only THE TINIEST SLIVER OF A FRACTION of the cool stuff here on Tumblr (and clearly reflects my bias toward history and art). Reblog and tag the blogs that make your feed better! Note: while this post gives examples of folks to follow here on Tumblr, the same principles apply for other social media sites. On Facebook I like Great Big Story and Atlas Obscura to get posts about historical + present day cool people and places, and on Twitter I like Maggie Stiefvater (for her wonderful sense of humor) and the Library/Librarian of Congress (for all their cool information about all sorts of stuff). Lemme know if I should do a post about cool folks to follow on those platforms too. Go forth and improve your social media experience!

[tebanks]

I’m putting everything from my January in one convenient place: right here. In this post you’ll find what I’ve been doing, watching, thinking, reading, writing, cooking, and beyond, with an important update on my mental health. Mostly this is a way for me to journal and reflect on my month. So, take a look at my January journal. Enjoy!

Notable Stuff

Puppy Adoptions Adoptions for my rescue puppies started this month. Initially I had a lot of reservations about starting the adoption process. I love these puppies so much, and I knew how difficult parting with them would be. To my surprise, I’ve actually enjoyed adoption interviews and meet-and-greets. I love meeting people who love dogs! A majority of the puppies have been adopted, and I plan to continue interviews during February.

Who Rescued Who? On the first day of puppy adoptions my husband surprised me by scheduling an adoption interview. He adopted Chris, now named Leonard Quinto; in honor of my favorite Spock actors. Additionally, the mother wants to stay with me. For now I’m calling her Vanessa; in honor of Deadpool’s significant other.

Meal of the Month 

Slow Cooker White Chicken Chili, Pioneer Woman Magazine My featured meal this month is one of my first ever slow cooker meals. I’m new to slow cooker meals, and this one was a wonderful meal to start with. I made White Chicken Chili from Pioneer Woman Magazine and it was absolutely delightful. I was nervous to try a slow cooker meal — relinquishing control and letting a slow cooker do the work was absolutely stressful — but I’m glad I did it. Find the recipe in The Pioneer Woman Magazine, Holiday 2018.

Books I Loved this Month

Deadpool #20 (2015), Writer: Gerry Duggan This is my favorite comic book, I revisit it very often. I read it several times this month. In this comic Deadpool is confronted with a suicidal character, and he uses his humor to help the character overcome their struggles. In this comic, Deadpool says something that I truly love; “You gotta remember: no matter how bad things get… that life is fluid. There’s always the chance that something great is waiting right around the next corner.” 

Turtles All The Way Down, by John Green In many ways, I feel like John Green reached inside my mind, and wrote what I feel like inside this book. Like me, the main character has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, her compulsions are somewhat different from mine but her thought process is exactly the same.

Top Cinema Trips – Spoiler Free

GLASS  I loved GLASS, and I thought it was a perfect culmination for this amazing film trilogy. In my opinion, GLASS was flawlessly weaved into the storyline of Unbreakable and Split, and I loved the way the GLASS played off the other two films; even giving us some flashbacks that we didn’t have before. I was also very impressed by the cinematography and directing, the camera angles made me feel like I was inside a comic book, and I LOVED it.

A Dog’s Way Home I’m a huge fan of W. Bruce Cameron’s books, so I was extremely excited for this film adaptation. I truly loved this film. A Dog’s Way Home was phenomenally casted and beautifully portrayed on-screen. A Dog’s Way Home was a phenomenal and entertaining film, that also raised awareness of really important social issues. This film addressed these important, and sometimes hard to talk about, topics with true grace; Veterans, therapy, homelessness, stray animals, animal laws, and much more. I left this film feeling happy and full of love.

Blogs in January:

Normally this section serves as an outline of the blog work I’ve done over the month. However, I didn’t write many blogs this month. My inspiration was lacking. I published two blogs this month:

Barks and Recreation: One Last Ride: A two-month update on the rescue puppies, with new information and progress photos. In a way, this is my series finale with these amazing puppies.

How I Care for My Mental Health on Good Days: Many people only talk about caring for their mental health on bad mental health days. In the past, I was one of those people. Not anymore. I’ve finally realized that caring for my mental health on good mental health days is vitally important. In this post I share how I care for my mental health on good mental health days.

Artist Feature

I didn’t publish much blog work this month, but I shared a lot of art to my social networks. So, I’m adding an “Artist Feature” section this month. Here are some of my favorite artworks from this month, how I felt about them, and links to the artists who created them.

Humans and Trees This art by Jang and Fox is perfect. I sincerely love trees. I love trees of all shapes and sizes. I live on a farm, surrounded by trees, and they are all different and beautiful. I appreciate trees as they are. I wish I could see myself the way I see trees. I’m trying. I’m improving. My self-love is growing stronger, daily. [View my original post and caption on Instagram.]

A Positive Post This art by Positively Present is absolutely true. There are times when I’ve been drowning in depression, but I’ve posted a happy photo. I’ve been riddled with anxiety and crying in the floor, but I’ve posted a fun foodie photo. I’ve posted photos that make it look like I’m out-and-about, but in reality I haven’t left the house in weeks. I’m proof: what you see on a person’s feed isn’t always a fair representation of their actual life. I’m growing and learning more about mental health. I’m accepting who I am. This is helping me be more real online. The more real I am, the more people I can help. But sometimes the desire for connectivity causes me to post happy things when I’m actually not happy. Please, remember this, for yourself, and for others. If this is you, remember: you are not alone. Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with other people. You never know what’s going on through the window of a phone or computer. Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself. [View my original post and caption on Instagram.]

More Than Pain I need this advice from Recipes For Self-Love. Sometimes I allow myself to become my pain. I let myself be defined by the things that cause me pain. But, I’m so much more than my pain. I’m more than depression. I’m more than bipolar disorder. I’m more than obsessive compulsive disorder. I’m more than the pain that I feel. I’m more than the things that have happened to me. I’m more than the struggles I have experienced. They are all a part of me. But I am more. Recipes For Self Love posted; “It may be a part of you but your pain does not define you.” And I absolutely agree. [View my original post and caption on Instagram.]

Be Supportive This art by This Thing They Call Recovery really resonated with me. I write about my experiences with mental illness for two main reasons; to educate people who don’t understand, and to show people like me that they are not alone. I feel like I’ve been successful so far. Although I still need to grow as an advocate and friend. This is what I’m working on right now: being supportive without necessarily offering advice. A lot of people (strangers and friends) come to me with problems, and I’m sincerely glad they do, but I feel like I offer too much advice sometimes, in lieu of support. My goal is to be more supportive. Sometimes people don’t want advice, they just want support. They want and deserve validation. When I offer an outpouring of advice, I take some of the support and validation away from them. I’m growing. [View my original post and caption on Instagram.]

Bonus Art – Steve Dash, by Eric Puckett   In December Steve Dash (known as the original Jason Voorhees) passed away. My husband loves Friday the 13th, and Dash is one of his favorite actors, so he took Dash’s passing pretty hard. An artist and friend of ours, Eric Puckett, had just finished a painting of Dash from Friday the 13th Part 2, so my husband purchased it. Art can be amazing therapy, for the creator and the buyer.

My Mental Health in January – An Honest Update:

My mental health update is at the end of this post for an important reason: I want you to see all the things I did before you read about my mental health. Mental illness is invisible, what you see on a person’s social networks isn’t always a fair representation of their actual life, or mental health. As you can see, this month was fun. So, you might be shocked to learn the status of my mental health: Functionally Depressed and Anxious.

I’ve been stuck in a depression slump for months. During November and December I accepted it, but during January I’ve been making small adjustments that will help me come out of it.

I set a mental health goal for January, and I achieved it. My goal this month was to complete Sober January: a solid 31 days with no alcohol. I accomplished this goal, and I intend on continuing in February. Alcohol has a negative impact on my mental and physical health, even one drink can make me sluggish and dehydrated, which feeds my self-doubt. The elimination of alcohol has helped my mental health this month.

It’s nice to feel functional again. I must say, though, I haven’t done it alone. I have an amazing support system. I have a husband who loves me and constantly works to make me feel loved. I have a best friend who always checks on me and makes me feel safe. I’ll admit, finding this support system wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight. It took a lot of work, many years, a lot of trial-and-error, and a lot of accidentally pushing people away. But I’m endlessly thankful to have them now…

I’m ending this month very hopeful, and I’m excited to move forward.

I’ll see you in February.

Sincerely, Elizabeth – Uncustomary Housewife

If you like, you can also read my review for October, November, and December.

You can connect with me on social networks: Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can also subscribe to the Uncustomary Housewife Blog. 

Uncustomary January: A Rundown of my Month I’m putting everything from my January in one convenient place: right here. In this post you’ll find what I’ve been doing, watching, thinking, reading, writing, cooking, and beyond, with an important update on my mental health.

[sow-ay]

"I wish I could" Here's a long blog post about having multiple passions, being frustrated because of that and having mental illness that makes me think negative all the time. I've already been asked to make reviews for books and to share it online to help the writers. It broke my heart but I had to say no because, first of all, I'm incredibly bad at writing articles and I'd put a lot of pressure on myself for that. I don't want to relapse into a depressive episode for a book I'd have to share with people. But that's also mostly because I'd get more demands for reviews and I don't want my account to be about reviews, I prefer sharing my own content. I feel so sorry because I know that would be amazing books by authors that need to be discovered by more people. But, I still think I can share great books I liked and discovered by myself ! Recently, I read in "Share your work" by Austin Kleon that people like to hear the stories behind the work. (but that book didn't taught me a lot besides this, I preferred his book "Steal like an artist"). So I'll share my stories with my drawings if that is okay with you. If not, just don't read it ! The book "How to be Everything" by Emilie Wapnick I finished helped me a lot ! Emilie taught (actually reminded) me that's it's okay to have several passions and to want to practice them all ! That not being the best at something doesn't mean you're mediocre. I'm fighting this thought everyday. That's a simple message but that helped me a lot ! And I also want to remind you that ! This book also reminded me that I simply wanted to create things. Various things in various areas. (get ready for a big talk) There's a little line from a song by Muse that's always in my mind. "I wish I could", from "Stockholm Syndrom" (my favourite Muse song on drums). And I feel like this sums up my entire life. Sometimes I'm thinking about getting it tattooed. This line is in my mind since I stopped school and since I was refused in art schools. I wish so hard I had more time and motivation for all of my passions. And also more money for these ! Passions can cost a lot. In time, energy and money. I feel so frustrated to not be able to make it all. And the internet keeps showing me people achieving a lot more. (or at least that's what my brain tells me). Maybe I just haven't found my balance yet. Or maybe I'm just a lazy mess. You'll see if you read, my thoughts are contradictory. I draw a lot and in various styles because I cannot choose one and love having various projects. I make comics and even self-published one about music, I write and want to make child's books, I try to get better at digital and speed painting to have beautiful illustrations on art shows and to make an amazing artbook someday. I'd also love to draw for music, for tattoos and tons of stuff ! I don't want to limit myself. I'm scared to limit myself. And at the same time scared to look too unstable by doing many things. That makes it harder to define what I do as a creative. I think I'm already bad enough at simply talking, I don't want to add difficulty to this. Oh, and I try to share my thoughts and emotions through that ! That's the only thing that quite works for me when I want to express myself. Also, I'm trying to make a living out of that, I have to admit I'm not at it yet, that's hard (mostly because of my mental illness) and I hope someday I'll success because my illness doesn't let me handle a "real job". I have no idea what to do if all of that doesn't work and that scares the shit out of me. I play drums in a little band with my friends every thursday and that's always one of my favourite moments of the week. I also love concerts. Music is really what makes me feel alive ! I tried a lot to make music on my own and wish I had more time/motivation for this.  (I have some old stuff on soundcloud.com/forsakenstar). I bought a guitar 4 years ago because I wanted to own the one my character has in my drawings. It was an expensive one but I loved it, it's a beautiful one. So I started playing guitar for fun and stopped. I lacked patience because learning guitar is super hard. I admire you, dear guitar players ! (then I also I broke my arm and that's still not repaired so the voice in my head tells me that this broken arm thingy is just a damn excuse to not practice, and that I'm a lazy piece of..."). It was A LOT easier for me when I started drums. I also want to learn to play a bit of keyboard. Just a bit so I can feel better creating funny sounds. I already have the keyboard. I have ideas for videos. I already made little things for little work commissions with old coworkers and that always was tons of fun ! I posted some of my experiments on youtube and each time I see it was already some years ago, that kills me. It reminds me how time flies and how I wish I could do more. And how much time I've "wasted" not doing as much as I would like. I have bigger video projects ! But I can't make them because I don't have the locations I need. I bought a VERY EXPENSIVE camera 2 years ago because, I don't know why, I sometimes get crazy and buy stuff that costs a lot. Like the guitar, like the keyboard. (that's also in the cyclothymia symptoms but I don't know if that's just me or the illness) And I often regret it because I need the money for something more important. I've almost never used the camera. But I could use it for my video projects ! For one of the videos I'd like to make I need a big castle to play something with a rich princess. I have the princess (my sis', I'm lucky to have her to help me in my crazy projects, I sometimes call her "Dobby". Yeah, like the house elf. I bought her the pop figure and all!) but if someone here has this castle and would like to invite me, I'd be super happy !! .... (I try, who knows ?). For another one, that would be a musical, I need a choreographer, dancers, amazing musics..

All of that just seems impossible to me. I would also love to make more motion designs ! I tried to make little animations and a lyric video and I loved doing this, I wish I could do more of these ! That's something simple but maybe someday bands will ask me to do that ! I need to practice a bit more before that ! (I'll maybe propose to do some for a really cheap price or something like that to practice more) I also wish I could animate more videos with my drawings ! I tried little stuff like making a character talk or walk and, even if that took time for a little thing, that was fun. Maybe I could try making an animation of that princess or musical project ! Or not. Making a full short film takes years of practice.

I spent TONS of hours learning a bit of all of that. And must still learn a lot in all of these areas. I tried them all. Loved them all. But I end up frustrated because there's so much to do that I get lost ! I always wish I could do more. If I'd have spent that time doing one thing, I'd be a god at it ! And I'm alone in all those projects. I'm so alone and selfish in my projects that I want to do everything by myself. If I wanted to make a full movie. I'd be the director, producer, musician, actor, make the scenario, film it, edit it, ... How could I do that ? How can I be this stupid ? I'm scared to share my projects. If I do share, let's say, a video project, would that make me a director for it ? Woaw, that's so cool ! But I suck, I can't direct something. I've never done that. How could I tell people what to do ? My mental ghost tells me the people I'll share that with will think I'm a pretentious mess making a project that sucks. And that the finished project will suck. Because I lack experience. ("But you never get experience if you don't try !" "yeah I know how stupid my thoughts are and how they manipulate me") I hate giving orders to people. I'd be like "okay, do this your way" even if I know in which way I want it to be. I did this some times. And I always end up frustrated. I'd be a bad director making bad stuff because of that. Why bothering ? That's why I keep my projects to myself. I know how I want it to be, I know I'm not good enough at it, I sometimes still try to make it and I only have myself to blame. Sometimes, I wish I could duplicate myself. Yeah, good idea, to duplicate the self-hate and frustration. Sometimes I regret no having been to school just for the experiment I would've got in group projects. I often tell myself that I should discipline myself a lot more to find a way and time to make it all. Or at least more. I should get more productive everyday. I MUST get more productive every day ! Why am I complaining and not actually DOING IT ?? *$^)_"*ù^. In the end, is that a matter of time or motivation ? Maybe all of that can fit in a week. Maybe I can find a way to enjoy my passions and make a living out of my drawings. But my other voice tells me that I'm too ambitious and that I cannot really do all of this. How could I do all of that and have a pay every month ? That's ridiculous. I always feel that all of my personal work is a waste of energy as I can't even have enough money to live every month. Would people still follow me if I share tons of various stuff ? Won't I annoy them with content they don't want ? (maybe some of you will say no) But can I do all of that ? I don't know. Damn. Can't I just shut up and do more ?? Can't I just stop thinking like that ? Unfortunately, a lot of the time I wish I had ends up eaten by my mental illness. Welcome into my head ! My brain ALWAYS thinks negatively. Even if I have an ambitious project, my brain will show me only how pointless it is and how that will fail. That's what the illness does. Sometimes it's so strong that I depress and cannot do anything for days. I fight the idea that I suck every minute of every day. And being a "jack of all trades" is hard because you don't have ONE thing to remind you that you're good at it. And I try to fight that everyday through my projects. Every thing I create is a little victory. So I want to do more and more and more and more [...]. I want to share more with people. I know I shouldn't be that hard on myself. But I just don't know how not to be. My mental illness feels like an excuse. After all that time, I still don't believe I'm ill and just think I suck. Well, that's it. Maybe you understand my frustration now. Or maybe just think (like I do) that I should shut up and work more. Sorry about this long post. I'll probably regret writing this in 2 days. If you read all of this, you get 15% more awesome !! (and sorry if I made mistakes !)

[patheticphallacy]

Hallo!

So let’s start this post by referencing the major creative crisis I went through this month, stemming from a blogging rut I found myself in beginning in July. I’ve got through it now, and I have basically the next month and a half of content already scheduled in preparation for my return to Uni, but the rut was real, guys.

I spend a lot of time on my posts and I found myself very low regarding the content and the amount of response I get to what I post. I know blogging is a lengthy process, I’m not going to immediately get response considering the blog is only just over two years old, and I genuinely love writing these posts and reviews. It’s a worry I tackle often, but sometimes it just gets to me and makes me feel kind of hopeless of ever getting over my general anxiety regarding interacting with other people. I keep my distance just because I don’t know how to make friends in the community, and I feel like that translates over to my blog sometimes too, but I’m really trying to change that by talking to more people!

Other than that: August was boring. I read, I watched random stuff, and I worked overtime shifts so I have enough money for rent when Uni starts. I’m honestly a pretty boring person during off-time from University just because of how far away I am from people, combined with my lack of money. Maybe next Summer will be more exciting.

I also want to add that my blog is going to be a lot busier now the end of the year is approaching. I always seem to have a calm period in November, but every other month, expect chaos! Good chaos, though. Friendly chaos. October is a great month for me as I love horror and supernatural things, which means I have twice as many post ideas.

READING WRAP UP

    Assassination Classroom Volume 3-4 by Yusei Matsui– I expect to read more Assassination Classroom this month, but I ended up starting another popular manga series (that’ll come up later). I did enjoy these two volumes, and we got some intriguing looks into Korosensei’s backstory. 

Ibitsu by Haruto Ryo– I hated this. Straight up. It felt very targeted towards the humiliation of teenage girls with a lot of unneeded torture and nudity, and I just felt sick after reading it, and not in a way I can enjoy with some stories. 

Bond of Dreams, Bond of Love Volume 1-4 by Yayu Sakuragi– This is an age-gap romance between an 18 year old and his childhood friend who is… six/eight years older than him, one of the two. There were some really weird moments, for sure, and I won’t dispute that the age gap was kinda gross at points, but I feel like by the end the conversations on adulthood and the main character finally having his frustrations recognised meant a lot. 

My Love Story Volume 7-13 by Kazune Kawahara– I’m in a perpetual state of mourning now that I’ve finished this series. It’s one of my all-time favourites. The ending is so heartfelt and they get into heavier issues towards the final volume that I feel helped carry the main relationship from feeling young into adulthood as the characters began college. It addresses jealousy and feelings of incompetence, while never belittling the trust these characters have in one another. It’s handled so maturely and so unlike other stories, and I’m satisfied with the conclusion, even if my heart is broken. 

    My Hero Academia Vigilantes Volume 4 by Hideyuki Furuhashi– Not as good as volume 3, but has some solid character development and we finally have a showdown of sorts. This does end on a cliffhanger, fair warning.

Starlike Words by Junko– Reaaaally didn’t like this. Poor development of character and relationship and the nudity felt gratuitous and gross, especially considering these characters are only 15/16. 

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling– Another one that disappointed me. I have a review for this linked at the end of this post, just know that I had issues with the treatment of toxic relationships and a victim blaming attitude. 

Peter and Alice by John Logan– An OK read that’s very meta, a play that imagines the meeting behind Peter Llewelyn Davies and Alice Liddell in 1932. It’s very tragic and the weaving of the characters they inspired into their own stories was incredible, but I found myself thinking the whole time about how this… probably didn’t happen. I know I should have suspended my disbelief, it just felt impossible. 

    One Piece Volume 1-11 by Eiichiro Oda– EE. This series is great! I literally started the longest running manga series I’ve come across so far and I don’t regret starting it, even if I did at first. The first 100 chapters have flown by with incredible character development and a wonderful world being shaped, and I adore it. 

Their Body and Their Afterthought by Shelby Eileen– Not my favourite poetry collection. I don’t want to be too harsh, but it felt like it reiterates what I’ve read in other collections on similar themes and issues without ever offering anything new with form. 

I Hate Fairyland Volume 1 by Skottie Young– I previously read this volume years ago. After a re-read, I’ve lowered my rating. I’ve just read way too many different comics and manga and whatnot to not be slightly critical. The art is still great, but it felt like I was struggling to get through this at points, especially after starting volume 2 and having to stop from boredom. It feels repetitive. 

Sunshine, Sadness and Other Floridian Effects by Shelby Eileen– This collection was better than Their Body, luckily! It has some stunning imagery, calling up impressions of water and the turning of the tide in tandem with loss coinciding with moments of happiness, and I do recommend it. 

    Faithless #3/#4 by Brian Azzarello– Starting to get bored with this series. There’s only so much shocking stuff and nudity without any kind of explanation for it before you grow tired. I’ll carry on reading for a few issues; I’m just ready to drop it if nothing much keeps happening. 

Pochamani Volume 1-5 by Kaname Hirama– Ohhh this was such a great series! It’s out of print so I had to read it online, and only the first five volumes are actually translated, which was so disappointing but I still recommend this series. It’s got the first fat main character I’ve seen in a manga series, and has so much conversation surrounding body shaming and positivity and the constant grappling with self-hate when you have a fat body. It means a lot to me, and seeing a romance where a fat girl is adored by her boyfriend is so wholesome. 

The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell– I literally started this last year and it took me that whole period of time to read 140 pages, and then in the space of a week I read the last 150. There’s definitely a sense of elitism and anti-genre fiction (especially what is typically branded as targeted towards women) which aggravated me, but the general humour was great and there was an interesting insight into the running of independent bookshops. 

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling– I feel like I’ve gone OFF about this book on here in August, but this book deserves it. It’s an intense psychological sci-fi horror where main character, Gyre, goes on a caving mission that ends up being more than it first appears. I love the relationship that develops between Gyre and Em, and I highly recommend the audiobook!

My Life with Bob by Pamela Paul– I have a whole review on my Goodreads that I feel summarises my issues with this book. I enjoyed this, but same with Shaun Bythell’s book, there’s a definite sense of elitism in some ways. I think Pamela Paul was willing to paint herself negatively in some respects and show the harmful thought processes she could have, and I appreciated that. My review is a lot more elaborate! Sorry!

  Pen & Ink by Isaac Fitzgerald and Wendy MacNaughton– This is a fun side-by-side of tattoos with the explanations behind them from the people that have them. The stories are whacky and fun, in some places, but are also sentimental and heartfelt in others, and I like the different thought processes behind getting them and the way everyone still seems to love them. 

My Hero Academia Volume 19 by Kohei Horikoshi– SO. GOOD. The real strength of this series lies in how well developed the characters and their relationships are, and this volume especially reaffirms that. Aoyama is so sweet and if he’s the traitor I’ll riot! 

  TBR JAR PICK FOR SEPTEMBER IS: WILLFUL MACHINES by Tim Floreen! My best friend picked this one out for me, thank you friend!

THINGS I WATCHED

I FINALLY went to the cinema again and watched BTS: Bring the Soul. I loved it.

I re-watched Daddy Day Care (don’t ask, it’s literally the only film I watched on Netflix the whole month and I hate that) and it opens with Ben– Eddie Murphy’s in-movie son– climbing out of bed and putting on the exact same Spongebob slippers my sister and I had when we were younger and it was amazing. I’ve never felt so nostalgic over something so unintentional in a film.

Not a watch, but a listen: the Teenage Scream podcast hosted by Kirsty Logan and Heather Parry, where they read and breakdown classic Point Horror novels from the 90s.

As always, I watched random stuff on deep dives on YouTube. This included: An Aesthetic History of The 1975, fat people don’t belong in magazines (it’s not what it sounds like), Being Lowborn w/ Kerry Hudson (an author interview! yes!), and I guess I’ll recommend the latest paperbackdreams video because I love Kat’s channel!

POSTS

University: Second Year Breakdown

A Bookshelf Tour: Part 1

REVIEW: These Witches Don’t Burn

Shakespeare Plays as Taylor Swift Songs

REVIEW: The Luminous Dead

Top Ten Tuesday: Read Books I Wish I Owned!

A Bookshelf Tour: Part 2

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi. 

Goodreads|Twitter|Instagram|Letterboxd

August Wrap Up Hallo! So let's start this post by referencing the major creative crisis I went through this month, stemming from a blogging rut I found myself in beginning in July.

[ireviewuread]

TOO MUCH EVENTS IN SINGAPORE! | I Vlog U Watch 5 & 6 | Extended Vlog + Let’s talk (Updated)

This is a post that I was looking forward to writing for a long time. My extended vlog post and finally a heart to heart post. Finally, I can talk to all you IreviewUreaders and open the door to my life now. Firstly, the vlog I can’t believe it’s been 5 months since I last uploaded a vlog. No wonder my vlog file is exploding. Unlike my other vlogs, in this extended vlog I touched on:

Singapore’s Birthday - National Day Parade

Fort Siloso 

Party Poppers Singapore Event

You can view what goes on at the Party Poppers Singapore launch here. Get yourself some Party Popper while, you’re at it.

Cuauhtemoc, the Mexican Navy Ship exploration

Light bulb drink formation + popsicle

Photo taken from @ireviewureadsh instagram 

The white part is honey dew 🍈 The pink part is strawberry 🍓 The Orange part is rock melon

Instant hot pot testing

Cat Mario

Singapore American School Event

Museum Hopping - Trick Eye Museum, National Gallery Singapore and  Asian Civilisation Museum

Photo taken from @ireviewureadsh instagram 

For more photos like this, do follow me on instagram.

Ukulele and voice cover on帅到分手

In fact, there’s so much in that single video I even created a content page for you to hop around. You can view the content page here or in the description box of the video.

Vlog 5 & 6′s content page:

Attending the National Day Parade – 00:24

NDP (Dynamic Defence Display Part 1) - 01:16

NDP (Parade & Ceremony) – 01:52

NDP (Dynamic Defence Display Part 2) – 2:40

NDP (Show) – 3:08

NDP (Fireworks) – 6:10

Fort Siloso – 7:04

Sentosa Shots (Balloons) – 9:55

Party Poppers Lion Dance – 10:17

Exploring the Cuauhtemoc, the Mexican Navy Ship – 12:31

Instant Sichuan Mala Lazy Hot Pot Testing – 14:34

The formation of the light bulb drink + popsicle – 17:25

Cat Mario – 19:22

Singapore American School Event – 20:01

Trick Eye Museum Snippet 1 – 22:04

Museum Hopping - 22:25

Asian Civilisation Museum – 22:49

National Gallery Singapore; Yayoi Kusama: Life is the Heart of a Rainbow exhibition – 23:03

Trick Eye Museum Snippet 2 – 25:58

Short voice + Ukulele cover on帅到分手 (Shuai dao fen shuo) by NICKTHEREAL - 26:51

Why I don’t produce videos as often?

In simple terms, videos takes 3 times as long as a blog post would take. To breakdown each and every step I take when it comes to video production are: 

Plan script (Optional)

Rewatch some of the footages I have recorded 

Record videos - middle part

Edit videos

Plan narrative

Voice over

Search for suitable free to use music 

Record ukulele for start of the vlog and end of vlog

Write out subtitles

Trouble shoot videos 

Try to input subtitles in youtube and fail

Try again

Write out blog post

Edit cover photo for video - This step is where I edit the craziest stuff to produce the most outrageous photo for the video. I guess that’s why my vlog photos or should I say my video covers often look so bombastic. 

Rewatch video at least 3 more times to determine it’s perfect - In actual fact it’s 20 times. I can even memorize what’s in the video.

Figure out what tags to put

Figure out what to write in description box 

Search previous posts for the links

Figure out the title - immense difficulty

Finally post. 

Embedded video at the sidebar

Edit original video to become a short clip for marketing purposes. 

Add subtitle and other stuff in the short clip

Market through social media and other sites - Time consuming 

Participate in other discussion

Re-market if time permits

Do it all over again

All this takes over a week for I spend my mornings and afternoons doing other stuff. Yes, it is time consuming but I do hope with practice, I would find a way to reduce the time I take to edit and produce a video. 

The Cover for the vlog

Before we move away from the topic of the extended vlog, let me touch on the cover. The nutty cover with multiple me dancing every where and a godly me in the skies. These are all edited in microsoft powerpoint. Amazing! The idea for the cover is trying to incorporate everything in the vlog on the cover. That may be the reason why you can see so many things on my cover. Or should I say on most of my vlog covers. 

Confused is my middle name

Now back to the heart to heart part. For the past month, I’m sure you would have notice a lot more sponsored posts and such on my blog. First of all, I do try to keep a balance of sponsored and non-sponsored posts. However, because of the time constraint that sponsored posts have, I would have to publish them first. Thus, the influx. Do note that although these products, services and such were sponsored, I was genuine in my reviews. I guess the label ‘Note: All my opinion given here are my honest opinion on the product. The fact that it’s sponsored does not change my thoughts about it.’ is automatically applicable to all of my sponsored posts now.

I guess wrote this part as to not only resonate with you but myself on what I’m doing here. I’m blogging full time. Kind of. I mean while I’m waiting for my graduation, I’m blogging full time. Judging by how things are going, I should be doing this full time until the end of the year. Before I find a job and this go back to being a sideline again - let’s all assume people want to hire me.

Comic strip taken from This is 65

I’m not saying, I don’t see the possibility of blogging full time forever. I’m sure there’s hope. There’s a glimmer of light. On the other hand, my degree also costed 27K. Let’s at least try to put it to good use first while I’m young. 

Honestly, I feel that there’s so much to do and not enough time. For those of you who followed throughout the years, you would have know that I like to create side projects. I like to improve things. I like to be busy but I do not know how to judge how full is my plate. I would often pile too much until either I found that my heart is not fully in it or the stack falls over. It is only then I could see clearly what is important to me. This only happens when I’m confused and I’m at the crossroads of my life. I guess the reason as to why I blog so much is because I am running from reality. Putting finding a job off. I have issues. We all have issues. Procrastination and ignoring my issues seemed to be my move now. Not quite sure what my next move would be but it better be good. 

I should get my Sh*t together

Or I can fulfill my wish of being a writer and gather some more stuff for my portfolio. Or so I said. Who knows, I may even go mad and move abroad for a month. That doesn’t seemed like a bad idea right? I don’t know. The future seem so confusing for me. Nothing is set in stone. Everything is possible. I guess it all comes down to if you were to die tomorrow, what do you want to do today? I want to write. For writing never dies.

What now?

I’m trying to finish up what I’ve started. If you remember 2 months ago, I was following a pinterest course. Well. I was attending it halfway. Then, the influx of sponsors came. So, I didn’t finish it. It’s on hold, just like every other side projects in my life. Refer to point - I should get my Sh*t together - for this part. 

In attempts to get my life together, I’ve adopted the habit of incorporating daily yoga in my life. On top of that, I try to wake up at a reasonable time - between 11 to 3pm. I know it sounds ridiculous to call that reasonable time but it’s a huge step for me. As mentioned in my previous post, I sleep at 6am and get up at 2pm but it eventually became 4pm. Time just past so much faster when you wake up when the sun is down. I don’t know what logic is this but it just does. Thus, I’ve decided to lengthen time and experience daylight once again. 

Taken from Inspired By This Feeling Tumblr 

So I’m trying. Little by little, day by day. Additionally, I found a mantra. A simple mantra that made my day a little more positive everyday: 

Today is a good day 

By reminding myself that today is a good day, made me anticipate the day even more. It made me eager to do more things, to be more positive towards how I see things. I am not a very positive person, neither am I negative. I’m more of a meh person. Being the meh person it’s easy to roll into negativity because of the lack of feelings for everything. I don’t want that. I am sick of that. It comes to a point that I was merely surviving and not living. By choosing to live, I have to remind myself everyday why. I have to make an effort. I have to change. With this simple mantra, I am not only reminding myself to ensure that the day ahead is going to be a good day but it gave me the push as well. Although I do cave in to the procrastination monkey at times, I am currently winning the battle against negative Nancy.

I know that there are plenty of quotes out there saying “It’s ok to just breathe today.” For those taking it too hard on themselves, I do agree it’s a quote for them. Whereas for those with the procrastination monkey in them, this quote only ruins us. We keep reminding ourselves that it’s ok to just breathe and we simply do nothing. Sometimes, it’s not ok to just breathe and do nothing. At least not for me. Therefore, I’ve changed to recite this mantra in my head instead for it represents: 

At the start of the day: A positive outlook on the upcoming day

During the day: A gentle and constructive reminder that I should achieve more mini-goals to have the day deemed a good day. In simpler terms, I can’t just roll on my bed all day and wathc youtube videos and call that a good day. I have to actually do something. Be it something small like getting out of my house - I don’t go out much, so getting out is big for me - to writing a page in my journal. Yes, I’m still journalling. I’m looking for the right time to reintroduce my old and new pages on my social media. 

At the end of the day: A positive reflection on what you’ve done during the day

As of now, I’m seeing positive changes everyday. What about you? What’s your go to mantra/ quote?

It was a great 2 months

Mentioned above, IreviewUread have a busy 2 months. My blog posts were going up like rockets. For those of you who’ve missed it, here’s a run down of what I posted the last 2 months. 

Beauty:

Gobdigoun Skincare products review

Gobdigoun Masks review

Althea Sun-Kissed Box Review

Hiruscar Anti Acne Range Review

Food:

Loacker’s Cocoa and Milk wafers review

Others:

A Better Florist’s Flower arrangement workshop 

Baby Goodie Bag from Cradle of Love 

Printcious Intro 

Printcious Magnet Review  

Photo from 45cat

When you wish upon a star

Finally, the last section of this very long post. My wish list! The last time I wrote a wish list was on the blog that I had during secondary school. I graduated 2 times since and I’m approaching my 3rd graduation at the end of the month. I guess that depicts how much time have past. Is stating wish lists still in or is that just a thing of the past now? Either ways, here’s my ever changing wish list or should I say my goals list: 

Looking for hair salon sponsorship so that I can redye my hair - I have a distinct black and brown colour on the top halve and bottom halve of my hair

Source

This is my hair goals kind of hair. Or anything with purple and pink. I’m crazy about those two colours. I’m fine with red too but I’ve done red before so it’s time to try something new.

Will be heading to C3 Anime Festival Asia 2017 if nothing crops up - my plan is to cover  AFA and get some stuff. It’s been long since I’ve wandered into an anime festival. Yes, I’m a closeted Otaku. Ok Kind of. This is clearly a goal. Why is this here.

More cute stuff! I know this blog is not really cutisy kind but I do want to include that genre.

I guess that’s it. I’m more of a follow the wind and make a nest kind of person. So I do embrace whatever is thrown to me in a professional manner. Or at least I hope. 

That’s finally the end of this heart to heart session. Do watch my vlog if you have not and Namaste

Updated - 23 Dec 17

I finally did dye my hair purple/pink, you can see the post here and I went to C3 AFASG. It was so fun and you can view my vlog here. 

[ronaldmrashid]

Sexual Harassment At Uber Reminds Us That HR Is Not Your Friend

One of the key takeaways from my book, How To Engineer Your Layoff, is understanding that the Human Resources department is not on your side. First and foremost, the HR department is there to protect the company from liability. After such protection is made, maybe then HR will help a troubled employee with a problem.

My experience comes from being a manager at a major financial organization, having to work with HR to hire and lay off staff, negotiating my own severance, and consulting with dozens of people about negotiating their own severance since publishing my severance negotiation book in 2012. Your best strategy is to befriend HR but hold sensitive information close to heart right before making a move.

Because Uber is the most successful startup of all time at its current stage, it’s always going to be a target. The latest damning news about the company comes from Susan Flowers, a former engineer at Uber who penned a post called, Reflecting On One Very Strange Year At Uber. You should read the post if you are an employee, manager, woman, startup entrepreneur, or work in HR. You should also read the post if you’re a bored entrepreneur crazy enough to think that going back to work will make you happier!

Susan writes that she was sexually harassed at Uber and denied upward mobility due to being a woman. This is not a surprise for those of us who have experience working in Silicon Valley, an area dominated by socially awkward men who’ve suddenly become hot stuff due to their computer engineering skills. Here’s an excerpt from her post:

On my first official day rotating on the team, my new manager sent me a string of messages over company chat. He was in an open relationship, he said, and his girlfriend was having an easy time finding new partners but he wasn’t. He was trying to stay out of trouble at work, he said, but he couldn’t help getting in trouble, because he was looking for women to have sex with. It was clear that he was trying to get me to have sex with him, and it was so clearly out of line that I immediately took screenshots of these chat messages and reported him to HR.

Clearly, this type of behavior from a manager is NOT OK. The manager should be fired for trying to take advantage of a subordinate. No employee should ever have to feel uncomfortable going to work.

However, if your goal is to survive an organization’s politics, immediately reporting your manager to HR for any grievances could be a suboptimal career move. Instead, it’s important to consider CONFRONTING your oppressor first, spelling out exactly what it is s/he is doing that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Yes, confrontation is sometimes scary, but it is a must to help save your skin. Most oppressors don’t get confronted because the majority of people they maltreat are terrified to stand up for themselves. It’s so much easier to report someone than work out difficult and unsuitable situations yourself. Heck, trying to solve difficult situations is why most people quit instead of engineer their layoff.

But what you’ll find is that once you stand up to your oppressor, he should get the message and back off. The bully now knows you won’t stand for his bullshit, and if the bully continues, he knows he’s putting his career and reputation at risk.

One confrontation hack I used when it was time for me to face someone at work was envisioning what type of power this person or senior employee had over me OUTSIDE of work. The answer was always nothing. He was just another regular chump.

Here are more excerpts from her post highlighting how Susan continuously reported everything she felt was wrong to HR:

Things were beginning to get even more comically absurd with each passing day. Every time something ridiculous happened, every time a sexist email was sent, I’d sent a short report to HR just to keep a record going.

Less than a week after this absurd meeting, my manager scheduled a 1:1 with me, and told me we needed to have a difficult conversation. He told me I was on very thin ice for reporting his manager to HR.

California is an at-will employment state, he said, which means we can fire you if you ever do this again. I told him that was illegal, and he replied that he had been a manager for a long time, he knew what was illegal, and threatening to fire me for reporting things to HR was not illegal. I reported his threat immediately after the meeting to both HR and to the CTO: they both admitted that this was illegal, but none of them did anything.

With each HR reporting, Susan trapped herself in an increasingly difficult position because HR was building a case for the company, and not for her. The only thing Susan could do was leave Uber after one year, which is EXACTLY what HR wanted. Any HR department would prefer a disgruntled employee leaving quietly on his/her own versus having to deal with the complexities and negative ramifications of settling a legal case.

Unfortunately for Uber, Susan took to the internet to air her grievances and caused a massive backlash by reviving the #DeleteUber hashtag on social media. If HR and management had properly addressed the issues earlier, Susan would never have publicly blown up the company.

If Uber is valued at ~$66 billion based on the last round of funding, this negative PR could EASILY wipe away at least $1 billion in market value as consumers switch over to Lyft or other means of ridesharing transportation. Perhaps the damage is actually much greater given a reputation takes a tremendous amount of time to rebuild.

Hiring former attorney general, Eric Holder to lead an investigation into claims of sexual harassment and discrimination is totally a PR move, and the wrong one. First, if they want to hire anybody to investigate, it should be a woman. Second, how much investigating do you really need when you can easily find out who Susan Fowler’s HR manager was who repeatedly ignored her reports?

See: Massive Reputation Destruction Is Why Negotiating A Severance Is Possible

Understand The Role Of Human Resources

Most employees think of HR as a department that handles the onboarding of new employees, ensures everybody plays nice with each other and helps struggling employees do better. The reality is the HR department’s primary purpose is to protect the company and senior management from liability. The second goal of HR is to ensure the company is as successful as possible given their own careers are at stake.

Employers need workers to grow a business. But employers also realize that with each worker they hire, there’s a risk the employee might cause problems within the organization. HR is there to try and smooth things out before things reach extreme levels, e.g. settlements over lawsuits.

It is true states such as California have “at-will” employment laws, which mean a company can choose to lay off an employee whenever they want. But seldom are companies so ruthless as to lay employees off without proper documentation. Documentation is why it often takes at least one review and six months before a company will lay off any employee because if the employee ever sues for wrongful termination, the company can show they highlighted the performance issues and gave the employee a chance to improve.

The reason why Susan’s first manager wasn’t fired immediately after being reported was because he was deemed a “high performer.” Uber HR determined the manager was more valuable to the company than his transgressions. Clearly, this shows that HR is on the corporation’s side, and not on Susan’s side.

With each HR reporting, HR builds a case that Susan is a weak, easily offended employee, who isn’t willing to talk things out and play nice with others. HR can basically manipulate their interpretation of Susan’s reporting as they see fit to protect the company and its highest performers.

The HR rep began the meeting by asking me if I had noticed that *I* was the common theme in all of the reports I had been making, and that if I had ever considered that I might be the problem.

Do not think for one second that everything you reveal to HR will be kept confidential and won’t be reported to your manager or someone in a position to determine your future.

I won’t discuss details about my experience with HR when subordinates were unhappy. All I can say is that I knew what unhappy subordinates were saying to HR because HR told me. And I’m sure there are things I don’t know from HR that were told to my managers because they deemed me a liability if I knew too much.

Instead of hiring the former U.S. Attorney General, Uber should reprimand or fire the HR manager for not properly managing Susan’s situation after repeated reports. But that would be too logical!

Your Goal As An Employee

Do these simple things if you want to survive workplace politics and get ahead.

1) Read your employee handbook. I’m constantly surprised that most people have never read their employee handbook. It is loaded with great information to your benefit. If the information is in your employee handbook, that means it is gospel. HR/management cannot go back and argue against whatever thing you did if it is OK per the handbook.

2) Keep meticulous records of perceived transgressions. Document everything you think is wrong. This includes inappropriate e-mails, texts, conversations, events. But keep everything private until you really need to talk. Your highly organized documentation will serve as your ammunition during any bargaining process.

3) Build a relationship with your office HR manager. If you can get your HR manager to be on your side, you’ve got a powerful ally because she will help you navigate the land mines. It’s human nature to help people you like. HR people are no different. Take her out for coffee. Ask about her vacation. If she has a family, inquire about their health. Hopefully, you really do build a great relationship. If not, at least make it clear you are a hard working, thoughtful, and caring employee. HR does have the power to speak on your behalf and make recommendations about your future with the company.

4) Confront your oppressor and talk things out. People who oppress in the workplace are sometimes CLUELESS about their actions. Because nobody tells them they are being weird, sexist, rude, or whatever, they continue to act inappropriately because they believe whatever they are doing must be OK. One strategy is to just take them out for lunch or coffee on you. You can disarm them with your generosity, making it much easier to share what’s on your mind. Bottling things up and exploding is not healthy. And reporting your manager to HR when everything you say could get back to your manager can be a risky, career limiting move. Stand up for yourself and talk things through.

5) Know your leverage. If you’ve come to wits’ end, then leaving is probably your best option. Leaving quietly is one way to go about things. Leaving through a lawsuit is another way. But the best way is to engineer your layoff so that both parties get something, i.e. go through mediation. The reason why I was able to earn a severance and keep five years worth of deferred compensation is by knowing my leverage and having a dialogue. After 11 years at my firm, I knew that if I left, the revenue I helped generate for the firm would decline by multiples more than the cost of my employment. Therefore, I came up with a plan to transition my clients to my subordinate over a two month period to help them minimize any losses. I also made it clear to my employer that I wasn’t going to a competitor, which made negotiations much easier.

2015 German study

Things Can Usually Be Worked Out

Please think twice before firing off every transgression, perceived or otherwise, to HR. That could set you up for failure. Instead, confront your terrible co-worker and clearly delineate that which is bothering you. If that doesn’t work, speak to a manager you think you can trust to help you. Speaking to HR is sadly the last resort.

As good fortune would have it, Susan landed on her feet at Stripe, another richly valued startup. It was wise of Susan to light Uber’s barn on fire after she solidified her position. Who’s going to dare bother her now?

Related:

Career Advice For Women: Blaze Your Own Path Instead!

Is Your Nose Brown Enough To Get Ahead?

How To Get Revenge From An Employer Who Fired You 

Readers, what are your thoughts about Susan’s case? Is there anything she could have done better to improve her situation? Why aren’t the HR people at Uber who let this slide not being accused? Could it be because HR works for senior management and not the employees? Why don’t more people confront their workplace oppressor if they are at wits’ end? Have you ever been sexually harassed or felt extremely uncomfortable at work? If so, how did you deal with the situation?

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/sexual-harassment-at-uber-reminds-us-hr-is-not-your-friend/