#the day day married night

[nebula-remnants]

ough I give up on this one so, throws this at ya’ll and scurries away

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

come get yer Laughin'stock! get it hot off the press! free Laughin'stock right here!

[horribluh]

hilarious mpreg zosan thought, sanji has a kid that has green hair but its not zoros kid. he has in fact never disclosed who the other father was (choose ur own adventure dead beat dad edition) and his siblings already have amazing technicolour hair so its not outside the realm of possibility for his biological children to also have weird hair colours. but when the kid pops out with green hair everyone immediately connects the dots that hey, doesnt the strawhats first mate that sanji famously doesn't get along with also have green hair? is this why sanji never said who the other father was? hes a fucking dead beat! get his ass!

this misconception integrates into everyones mind bc it makes too much sense to not be true and everyone is suddenly deadset on "protecting sanjis honour" and making zoro "take responsibility"

sanji is screaming crying throwing up disgusted bc no!!! the shitty mosshead is not the father!!! stop saying that!!!! but since he still wont say who the actual father is, everyone is just like its ok sanji, you dont have to defend a deadbeat even if he is your crewmate and sanji has no choice but to kill himself and also zoro for daring to have green hair

when the strawhats show up for sanjis baby shower they also unanimously come to the misunderstanding that sanji and zoro totally boned. franky goes as far as to call the kid mini marimo. brook makes a hundred innuendos, chopper is upset at the implication of them having unsafe sex, and robin alludes to "knowing all along" in a very ambiguous way. usopp is the only one who refuses to connect the dots and he is sanjis favourite strawhat fr. jinbei pats sanji on the back and says he hopes they work through their differences for the sake of their kid. sanji is dying, youre killing him, you're killing your cook

even more shenanigans ensue when zoro shows up 3 whole days late to the baby shower and is gaslit into thinking hes the father by everyone in attendance despite being Pretty Sure that he and sanji never fucked. zeff gives a pretty good shovel talk and nami gives an even better one (debt increment is involved) while zeff nods approvingly behind her and then luffy slingshots in all parents should be married right? and doesnt wait for an answer

anyway, like 2 hours later zosan find themselves standing at a makeshift altar on the thousand sunny, saying their vows. sanji insists to the very end that zoro is not the father so they dont need to get married but alas luffy isnt giving him a choice in this (he wants to eat wedding cake)

to sanjis eternal despair, the kid grows up to really like swords

additional zosan thought, sanji does not help things by shouting "this is all your fault!" the moment he sees zoro. zoro is futher gaslit

[halfratsalready]

JD Dancer Appreciation Vol. 4: Shirley Henault ✨

The beautiful and talented Shirley Henault is a staple of the Just Dance franchise. She’s been in so many maps and portrayed so many coaches that I won’t be able to fit anywhere near all of them in one post, so expect several more Shirley posts down the line. For now, here’s a few of the dozens of coaches portrayed by Shirley. She’s an incredible dancer who disappears into every character she portrays, and she is clearly extraordinarily hardworking. The JD franchise wouldn’t be the same without her. We love Shirley ☺️💕

Sara: Can’t Stop The Feeling (ft. cameo as Liza Friday), Majesty, If You Wanna Party, You Should See Me In A Crown, Swan Lake, Tainted Love

Night Swan: Witch, Majesty

Liza Friday: Last Friday Night

Ruby: Buttons, Don’t Cha

Dolores: Driver’s License

Maybel: Call Me Maybe, Call Me Maybe (Alternate), Beauty And A Beat Vs. Call Me Maybe

Other Shirley maps will be featured in future posts :)

[darlingghoulette]

Someone on twitter (that I wish I could credit, but that app is hell incarnate and it crashed before I could save it) mentioned the trope "woke up married in Vegas" except flip flopped and you wake up divorced instead.

My brain immediately made it steddie.

It's Robin's bachelorette trip before she marries Nancy and the party gets a little too wild.

Steve and Eddie wake up still half drunk from a night they can't remember and the first thing they encounter when looking for clues is signed divorce papers on the hotel bedside table.

They're inconsolable. How could they have done this? They don't want to be divorced, they love each other! They were going to spend their lives together! Could they have had a fight last night? How terrible was it that they immediately gave up on the relationship they put their whole souls into?

Steve calls Robin sobbing as Eddie tries to stop sniffling long enough to light a smoke and calm his nerves.

Robin nearly hangs up on them.

She not so patiently explains that they're not divorced. On top of that kind of process taking way more time than one night in Vegas, the legal "papers" were written up on an In-N-Out wrapper. With a restaurant employee witness signature. In sharpie.

Drunk Steve and Eddie decided that they loved each other so much that they were going to get a divorce just so they could get married all over again.

After telling them to drink water and sleep it off, she does actually end up hanging up on them.

[umbracirrus]

Okay, so, I have recently been thinking about axes and their importance in Nord culture in Skyrim, in part because I have something planned in a fanfiction that involves giving an axe and have been doing a little bit of research into it, and I have gone down a bit of a rabbit hole so please bear with me on this mini essay in which I have pulled together my thoughts/observations about axes in Skyrim and my two favourite Jarls, Balgruuf and Ulfric.

So, as anyone who has done the Civil War quests in Skyrim would know, there is a pivotal point in which the balance of power in Skyrim shifts either towards the Empire or the Stormcloaks based purely upon the player's alignment - when Whiterun either aligns with the Imperials or is taken by force by the Stormcloaks. Of course, there is one particular event which happens immediately before the battle begins, and that is the delivery of an axe.

However, at this point I would just like to bring up something which will become relevant later no matter what your alignment - at the point of the axe being sent, you have been named a Thane of Whiterun. Balgruuf won't hear anything to do with the Civil War when a dragon is attacking the Western Watchtower, so becoming both Dragonborn and a Thane is a prerequisite to the Civil War.

If you align with the Empire, it is Balgruuf who decides to send an axe. If you ask why, he gives the explanation that "if he returns it to you it means we have business to settle. If he keeps it, then we are at peace.", and if you ask whether you should say anything, he says that Ulfric knows what it means (also important for later!). The other dialogue option which isn't just 'sure, okay, I'll do that' also says that it is tradition, and that Ulfric honours traditions.

Obviously, Ulfric doesn't accept it and you return to Balgruuf with the news that he will be attacking Whiterun and suddenly, the city is under siege. When you win, Balgruuf personally thanks you for what you have done after his victory speech.

Now, on the other side of things, if you side with the Stormcloaks, it is Ulfric who gives you the axe to take to Balgruuf, but his explanation is much more... succinct. "If he keeps it, I will bide my time. If he returns it to you, it means war."

And as with the other side, because the game would be pretty boring is Balgruuf was to go "sure, I accept Ulfric's axe", he rejects the axe and that in turn means that you return to Ulfric with his axe, and he expresses his disappointment that Balgruuf had done so.

The two Jarls wanted the other on their side, but their views were fundamentally different they couldn't accept. 😭Sending their axes was just a formality, a way of saying 'this is it, we have to fight now'.

So what I am basically getting at, the civil war quest establishes that giving an axe is a way of determining allies and enemies, depending on whether it is accepted or rejected.

Coming back to what I mentioned earlier, in order to do the civil war quest and to talk to Balgruuf in order to either give him Ulfric's axe or to give his axe to Ulfric, you have to have become the Dragonborn and are a Thane of Whiterun. When you become a Thane in Skyrim, you end up receiving a weapon as a reward, typically named 'Blade of *insert hold name here*'. Except in two places.

Whiterun, and Eastmarch. In those places, you get either the Axe of Whiterun or the Axe of Eastmarch.

If I remember correctly, the blade weapons are randomly generated so have the potential to be axes, but these two are specifically named to be and are axes.

What else is in common with Whiterun and Eastmarch?

Their Jarls (Balgruuf and Ulfric) are the only two people in Skyrim who actively partake in and have knowledge of the tradition of the sending of axes.

When you become a Thane of these two holds, you are not just becoming a Thane, you are becoming a trusted ally of the Jarl, somebody who they can rely upon. Even more so with Ulfric, because you can only become a Thane of Eastmarch with Ulfric as Jarl if you are Stormcloak aligned.

Speaking of being Stormcloak aligned, how about a diversion back to the Civil War, specifically when the battle for Whiterun has reached its penultimate stages, Balgruuf has been defeated and has surrendered control of Whiterun. After an argument with Vignar (and I'll get into him later because he makes my blood boil), Balgruuf turns to you and says a line which absolutely breaks my heart - "And you. A Stormcloak? I'd thought better of you." 😭

Balgruuf thought you his ally, he had given you his axe, and you have just gone and stabbed him in the back (figuratively, and quite possibly literally depending on character build). As I said, it breaks my heart when he says that line.

Basically, what I am getting at, is that the depth of such a simple tradition in Skyrim is immense and I wish that there were more things like it (beyond the duel to the death for the throne thing, looking at you Ulfric) or saw it used more in the game. And that Balgruuf and Ulfric are by far the best Jarls in terms of character development and just how much their homeland and traditions mean to them. And I wish that there was a way to keep Balgruuf as Jarl even if you are Stormcloak aligned because fuck Vignar, and you know what? Fuck Maven Black-Briar too, she sucks. Laila is pretty incompetent as Jarl but at least she isn't Maven and that's a rant for another time. But not having Maven as Jarl is main reason I join the Stormcloaks more often than not. Balgruuf is usually the main reason that I join the Imperials on playthroughs.

Now... Vignar Gray-Mane. When you make him Jarl of Whiterun and he names you Thane, he gives you the Blade of Whiterun, not the Axe of Whiterun (yeah, I know I said that I think the blade weapons can be randomly generated as axes, and no doubt it was given to stop you from having multiple axes of Whiterun, but I just don't like Vignar soooo....). That's mean. Especially after we protected the city and helped him become Jarl too. There's another layer of insult there if you've rescued Thorald, his nephew, from the Thalmor. At least Brunwulf Free-Winter gives you the Axe of Eastmarch when he is Jarl if you defeat Ulfric for the Imperials and complete that shitshow of a quest 'Blood on the Ice'. Brunwulf is a bro, not Vignar. Hmph.

[introspectivememories]

can i be honest? i dont think tim and bear have a really grand proposal. i think it happens at their apartment that they got bc bear finally put his foot down and went "baby you're immunocompromised. you cannot live on a murderboat on the gotham river" and tim reluctantly gives in but not without finding some random apartment complex that's still near the marina so he can go down and get his ass beat at poker by pie. and so it happens late at night, when tim is in nightwing sleep shorts and bear's old band tee on and bear is in some horrendous anime sweats and no shirt because their home is the only place he's ever felt comfortable leaving his scars out. and the lamplight gives a soft hazy glow to bear's tattoos and tim reaches under the shirt to scratch and in the movement bear can see the bear tim got tattooed onto his hip and he can't help grin softly. and they're both sitting on the couch as some lame ass procedural drama goes on in the background and they're eating batburger. tim's got the nightwing special and bear has the sword robin combo. and the ringbox is burning a hole through bear's thigh and tim makes some stupid comment about how lame meredith sounds begging some guy to love her and all bear can think is how much he loves this boy. so he gets up to get some water and he positions his phone so that he can get the best video bc tim is a sucker for home video and he plops down on the sofa hard enough that tim turns around to complain except bear is holding the ringbox open with a soft "marry me?" and tim goes "what?" and bear says "baby i have loved you since you walked through the gates of our high school and i loved you when you left and i loved you when you came back. i love the way you talk to yourself and i love the way dance when i put music on. and i even love the fact that you shove your ice cold feet in my shins every night. and i don't know exactly what to say except that i want to do this everyday until you get dentures and i get a hip replacement. and i want to be horny in the old age home and-" and tim cuts him off sob-laughing and says "can i say yes now?" and bear who is also crying says "wait, let me finish love. -and i want to do this in as many lives as we get together. so all this to says, timothy jackson drake, will you marry me?" and tim launches himself bear and shouts "yes, yes, yes! a thousand times over, yes" and they're sobbing as they slip the rings on each other.

[tswwwit]

I think it was sort of implied Bill had exes (or more like ex- one night stands? Maybe even ex- acquaintances with benefits?) so my question is 1) are any of them still alive 2) will dipper meet them 3) if so will dipper /know/ that he met them, and how does he feel about that? Bonus points for descriptions of their various improbable anatomies (picture dipper meeting a sentient pile of hornets and wondering how exactly it and a triangle managed to bone down XD).

Maybe!

Possibly!

Depends! Bill might not be totally up-to-date on the 'how to healthy relationship' course - but even he knows opining on previous flings conflicts with domestic bliss. So if Dipper does meet one of the exes, he could figure it out from context clues, perhaps. Or some bystander could let him in on the hot gossip. Or the ex could be very up-front about their previous relationship to this impudent little flavor-of-the-week fleshbag.

Bill's absolutely banged some things so physically different that trying to figure out the mechanics makes Dipper's head hurt. He's not gonna think about it for multiple reasons.

[dragonsbluee]

I see your gay uncles of the straw hats Jimbrook and raise you old, gay, heartbroken, pirate captians who find a loving, romantic relationship in each other as they watch over a group of chaotic youngsters.

Because Brook and Yorki had a heartbreaking goodbye, and Brook spent 50 years mourning, but now he has a second chance. He wasn't expecting anything, but then, lo and behold! A handsome, kind, capable fish man enters stage right, and Brook is smitten. Here is someone who understands the grief of losing a captian and partner, then having to take their place to hold the crew together, but ultimately watching thier crew fall apart or suffer due to factors outside their control.

For Jimbei the last few years have been a whirlwind of chaos. He was looking forward to a new adventure full of chaos of his own making and choices. Now, enter stage left, this fantastic, enigmatic, adorable skeleton (and he's a musician!), who is a wonderful presence on a ship full of younger pirates. Jimbei never really moved on from the loss of the Sun Pirates, and hasn't had time to mourn all the friends he's lost in the past few years. But now he finds companionship and comfort in Brook. Someone who doesn't expect him to move on, let's him reminisce, but keeps him from getting stuck in his mourning. He's never thought of romance seriously before, but now he finds himself wanting.

The two meet in the middle, center stage on a ship of dreams as they forge a new one together. They still keep and work towards their individual dreams but find pieces of each other in them. Brook looks forward to the day he can introduce Laboon to Jimbei, and Jimbei has promised to translate the whale's words for Brook. Jimbei will see freedom for his people and finds motivation in every new song Brook writes and story he tells. Together, they find peace, calm, and rest. They find excitement, companionship, and a harbour in the other after years of storms.

[merakiui]

now this question…… the very important question from rollo, in which the answer determines whether or not he delves into his hellfire era and becomes yandere for me. (´⊙ω⊙`)

And of course the answer gives a reaction only you could possibly get from Mr. Rollo:

[arsenicflame]

absolutely delicious flavour of edizzy is where theyre Actually Married but neither of them know it, while also being acutely aware of everything-

they celebrated 25 years of their matelotage. they are having sex on the regular. both of them think the other thinks their contract is purely for financial reasons and the sex is just fun + convenience.

[sinningtamer]

not me posting that art and then stumbling into his 14 heart cutscene

haha very funny timing game. guess i should go to sleep no-

HELLO?????????????????????????????????????????

[former-leftist-jew]

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[markiafc]

[marxistswiftieism]

have you guys seen this 13 minute megamix of every song taylor has ever released?????? its SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!!!

[nicnacsnonsense]

You know, I think Clark and Lex’s relationship really could have benefited from a safe word. Something either of them could have said to the other to communicate “your current line of inquiry is infringing on my privacy in a way I cannot elaborate on without further compromising my privacy, so I need you to redirect or drop it.”