#the correct answer will be posted after the poll closes!

[arcade-sekai]

QUIZ —?!

KAGAMISCHIEF ALERT!!!

uh oh!! it seems rin and len are bypassing quiz rules!! the following question has not been outright answered on the blog.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Observant

Being the Hand's young, second wife came with a lot of responsibilities, one of which was mellowing the frustrations of your husband.

Otto Hightower x Reader | 1k+ | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, age difference/age gap, smut (piv, slight dub con, degradation kink, breeding kink, overstimulation, anal fingering, dacryphilia, sadism, praise kink) fluff I guess, typos, etc.

A/N: so i made a poll on what to write and fluff won and this is literally pwp but it has a fluffy ending (???) so it counts HAHAHAH IDK OTTO BRAIN ROT. LOBOTOMY ME IDC I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW BYE. A great day to be an otto fucker amirite HAHAHAH cross posted on ao3

You take in a breath the moment you reach the Hand's office. A chill runs down your spine as the night air seeps through your robe and night dress.

In truth, you figured your husband would have appreciated not being interrupted by you, though his pointed instruction otherwise, but there was another truth you answered to: that is, the ache between your legs that your fingers could not quell.

Even now, there was a heat that spread, which only intensified at the thoughts you knew would come to life the moment you knocked on your husband's office door. So you do.

"Who is it?" the deep voice snapped with as much intensity as a rabid dog.

Your belly instantly rolls. You rub is as you tighten your robe with one hand. The other, which was holding your lamp, shivers under its weight. You weakly manage to muster, "tis I, my lord."

A beat of silence.

You stiffen at the sound of heavy footsteps marching your way. A soft gasp leaves your lips when the door swings open and the face of the Lord Hand was glares at you.

"What is it, girl?" Otto hisses, both his hands resting on the sides of the door opening. His frame overwhelms you. His eyes are tired and his jaw is tense. 

Yes, you did always feel like some petulant little girl under the scrutiny of your much older husband. You lick your lips and exhale deeply to calm yourself. Simply, you remind him of his own words from earlier today, "tis the hour of the owl."

Lord Hightower is unmoved.

"I've come to fetch you."

A vein at the side of his neck threatens to pop. He pulls away and heads to his desk, "I have much to do, thanks to the fucking king."

You purse your lips at his words, thinking about the said man. Aegon was around your age, if not a bit younger, and at some point you had been friends, until you were promised to his grandfather.

You walk up to Otto's side and he rather instantly makes a spectacle of his abundant papers. He rants heatedly about it for a good moment, before turning to you. His face is worn and his shoulders squared, "I will not waste my time further by explaining this to you. Leave."

Otto places a hand on your bum and pushes you off. You budge, for after all, he was a man much bigger than you, even if no longer in his prime. Your hand darts to his desk to keep yourself upright, and the hand holding your lamp grips it firmly so that it would not slip. You return to your previous position as the man continues with his work.

"L e a v e," he drags out with audible vexation, "now."

"No."

He freezes.

"You will leave," you correct "—this room. Tis the hour of the owl."

Otto turns to you, offended, "you command me?"

You clench you jaw, "you command yourself. I am simply your obedient servant, lord husband."

Your lord husband stands. He towers over you and presses close, so close that he takes your lamp and puts it out, leaving it ignored on his desk, "am I not commanding you now?"

Your heart races when he takes your neck, thumb pressing on your throat as he rubs it. He can feel your raging pulse and it excites him, but not as much as your next words do, "you are you unkind when you are exhausted."

"To whom?" 

"To everyone," you mutter, "you must retire."

Otto releases your neck and heads for the door, "I will not."

Your brows furrow as you watch him storm off.

You realize only what he meant after following him into your shared chambers.

He grabs you from behind and sinks his face into your neck. You feel his beard against your skin and his hands eagerly clawing down your body. He pushes you into bed and you manage to look over your shoulder for the few seconds as he undoes his breeches. Not a second later, he pushes you on the sheets and pulls your skirt up.

You whimper into the cushion, bringing your face to the side as he rests his weight between your shoulders. He clenches his jaw as he grabs your hip. You obediently shift on your knees and gasp when he rubs his groin into yours. He sighs out a string of profanities when he feels your wetness. He pulls back and looks at the softness of your thighs, inspecting the pooling lust on your cunt. He rubs your clit, "my cherubic wife, so ready to be taken by her aged husband."

Your belly trembles as he uses your warm slick to flick your sensitive nub, leaving you to do nothing but curl your toes and whine into the sheets.

"Body so eager to be molded by my cock," he mutters. He slowly sinks two fingers into your weeping folds. He stretches you with his fingers and sinks deep, relishing the warm stickiness coating his digits, "so pretty like this. More so with my seed mixed with your arousal, dripping down your puckered cunt."

He continues to serve you with his fingers until pressure builds in your stomach. Then, with no warning and little care, Otto replaces his fingers with his hardened cock and fucks you thoroughly from behind. The hand he hand by your shoulder blades tingle into your hair. His other hand tirelessly works on your clit, expertly rubbing them that your body writhes under his weight.

You are trapped beneath him, however. He need only push on your head and lock your legs with his; you can do nothing else to do but take his cock and his fingers.

The sound of wet slapping skin and your uncontrollable whimpers dampen out the creaking and thudding of your bed against the stone wall. Quickly, your breathing began to grow strained and Otto gave no indication of slowing, especially not when he merited a scream from your lips from the pleasure building hotly in your stomach.

"Otto, Otto-" you begin to whine, nails ripping into the sheets, "w-wait— I-"

He furrows his brows at your words, offended that you would instruct him grant your reprieve. Just as he felt your slick building against his clothes? Even if he wanted to stop to catch his breath, he would not.

Alas, mortal man still was he, and his plowing had to slow. Slow, not stop. Though his arm began to tire, his fingers did not relent their assault on your swollen clit. He made up for any delays with slower but harsh flicks of his hip.

Your peak caught both of you off guard, and you came around his cock with a ghastly noise that made him stab your womb roughly in surprise. He stops moving altogether soon after.

Upon realizing the absolute bliss that seized your form, he puts all of his focus on your clit, wanting nothing but to make you shake and tighten around his wet cock as much as he possibly can.

The wind is knocked out if your lungs and your eyes water at the intensity of it all. And soon, it was all too much for you. It was all far too much, and yet he did not stop.

"Otto," your voice is hoarse as you sob into the dampened sheets, dampened with your tears and saliva.

He does not acknowledge you at all. He continues rubbing your pulsing clit with his fingers no matter how much your belly shook or your thighs trembled. He adores your mousy noises. He pulls your head back by your hair bit and slowly begins to thrust into you until the bed begins to creak at the intensity again.

It's too much, and the noise that rips out of you is nothing but further indication of this.

Your body struggles beneath him, your parted thighs that turned to putty were now shifting frantically in the hope to be free of this overwhelming sensation. You clench and unclench around him, hips pushing forward and back in an attempt to break away, but it, in fact, only makes your heady husband double down on his efforts to keep you in place.

His fingers only then finally leave your abused clit, but any form of recuperation you could get is stolen by the way both his veiny hands grip your hips and his manhood invades your cunny, intent on staking its claim.

He grunts as he looks down at your helpless form. He does nothing but use you for his pleasure and he cares little of whether or not your pretty pussy will tighten and quiver around him again.

Otto rubs your bum then coats his thumb with your slick before pushing it into your vacant rear, enough to hook into you and to make you squeal.

Soon enough, he can feel his legs ache and his belly burn. He ignores the former and his energy is sustained by the promise of filling his shaking bride with his come and watching it drip out of her.

Otto is silent while you noisily protest beneath him. Just as he begins to feel his balls tighten, he feels your cunt squeeze him again. Your neck strains as he bends down to lean into you, "take it, come slut. You know want you want to."

"S't-too much," you whine, tears rolling down your face.

Otto could not care less and begins to rub your clit again. You scream out in response and it's enough to make him reach his peak.

He slams into you with no steady tempo. He cares only for the pleasure raging on his cock and wants only to empty his balls into his warm, raggedly bride. As he does just that, feeling come and sweat drip from your garment to the sheet, he takes a few more thrusts, shallow ones where he does not move out of you very much, to ensure he thoroughly stuff all his heated lust into you.

And ever the dutiful husband, he plays with your clit for as long as it takes to make you scream and spasm into another pretty peak

Your nose is running as you sob, but the twist of your expression tells him that you were enjoying every second of it. He laughs, deeply, contentedly, pinning you against him and the bed. He doesn't listen to you until he is more than assured every bit of pleasure is wrung out of your darling body.

You begin to whine again like the tearful babe you were. You whisper an exhausted plea, "please, no more, Otto. Please."

He shushes you and pinches your clit, just to see you flinch and hear you beg some more. And beg you do, "n-no more, please," through sniffles.

He grips your jaw and kisses your salty cheek. He pulls you both to your sides, unwilling to pull out just yet. He has to ascertain his seed catches in your snug womb. He massages your breasts, imagining them get bigger for the babe he fucked into you. He pinches your nipples, making you whine again.

"O-Otto-"

"All is well, wife," he mutters, releasing his hold, only because you pushed his hand away. You lean into him as he rubs your belly. He rubs your nape with his nose, "good girl."

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

01/24/24 OFMD Daily Recap

TLDR; Cast and Crew Sightings with clowning; UK News; Wee John Wednesday; RenewAsACrewUpdates; NewTwitter Resource: @AdoptOurCrew; Pirate Omens Watch Party; LubeAsACrew; The Queerties; Petition Status; Final Notes; Love Notes; Rhys & Rosie's Anniversary;

==Cast and Crew Sightings==

David Jenkins got the clowning going really early this morning with a picture of a red sunrise, playing the song "New York Groove" by Ace Frehley.

There's been a lot of speculation (obviously we don't know what it means for sure) but the current fan theories going around are:

1. "Red Skies In Morning, Sailor's Take Warning" which Djenkins previously posted prior to a new OFMD Trailer being released back in Sept. Thanks @saltpepperbeard!

2. Some folks think that the Red color is to help indicate Netflix as it is very similar to their signature red. @_Irene_Adler

3. Others are going towards the AppleTV route since out in sunnyside queens, there is an Apple building nearby. @skrifores

Do we actually know? Nope, just conjecture, but it left people wanting to target Netflix and AppleTV more today in terms of hashtags. Which is great cause the Pirate Omens Focused on PrimeVideo in the afternoon.

=Con O'Neil Updated his Instagram, and David Fane commented =

==Ruibo Qian also made a profound update on IG==

"Amplifying positive intent toward a paradigm is what solidifies it into live experience".

Take these updates as you will, but one nice thing about being broken apart from Max is we're starting to see the crew reach out again, and all of it seems to be in somewhat of a positive direction.

==More UK News!==

Today’s news from the UK 24 January 2024 - by @lamentus1

We have a date!! The most amazing news! Season 2 will be available to watch in the UK on BBCiPlayer from Monday 4 February!!! The arrival of season two in the UK will give us an opportunity to organise some attention grabbing events around the show. We’ll keep you posted!

=Convention news=

Starfury Conventions is considering holding an Our Flag Means Death convention here in the UK! We need to show how much interest there is in the idea, so make sure you vote in their poll.

Vote here: https://x.com/starfuryevents/status/1750149921880059968 Make sure they know just how interested we are!

**Note from @gentlebeardsbarngrill: If you are avoiding twitter and need someone to log in and for for you, I have lots of extra twitter handles, just shoot me a DM with what answer you wanna choose and I'll vote on your behalf.**

=Previous Access Poll=

After a week and 986 votes the poll is closed and we can confidently state that 36.5% of fans can’t even watch Our Flag Means Death season 2 in their country yet! This is more than a third of the dedicated fandom not even able to watch the second season, and yet look at how passionate we all are about renewal. Imagine how that will grow when the second season is shown in those countries that have missed out so far.

The poll is here: @lamentus1 Are you able to watch Season 2?

While this last piece isn't SPECIFICALLY for the UK, it is being run in UK time zone so may be a bit harder for some US folks to join in.

== Wee John Wednesday is back! ==

EDIT: hey all, my sick brain messed this one up, Kristian announced on twitter he was gonna reboot wee john weds and I went to IG cause I wanted to get the link and apparently linked an old IG post. Sorry about the confusion! It hasnt been announced when it will start yet. Thank you to @wastingyourgum for the correction!

== Renew As A Crew News ===

So I was a little hesitant to post this, but I'd like you to read it and then read my notes below. This was posted in the Renew As A Crew Public Discord (If someone actually has access to that can you please invite me? I can dm you my creds, I'd rather get it from the source then bugging people).

So, essentially, right now they are considering not keeping the Renew As A Crew "brand" if a team internally doesn't step up within the next two weeks. Several volunteers have expressed their concern with this (as Renew As A Crew is already popular and news sites know about it). I have it on good authority that even though this was posted, other volunteers are trying to change that so we can maintain that Renew As A Crew brand. So if you happen to see this floating around -- please understand this is still up in the air-- so please don't lose hope or worry too much about this just yet.

==New Resource Group on Twitter ==

@adoptourcrew on twitter is trying to keep threads available with compiled resources (similar to these recaps and daily task lists) if you are in fact on twitter, they're a good resource for up to date information. There's been some questions on "who are they!" well they're a fan led group (much like the rest of the campaign) and they will not be focusing on collecting money of any kind, they are an information group. They may suggest fundraisers, but as of right now, no money is exchanging hands with them. So please feel free to check them out here.

== Pirate Omens Watch Party ==

Another fun day of watching good omens with Pirates and Omens fans alike. On to Season 2 tomorrow.

== Lube As a Crew ==

Still making waves all. Thanks @_Irene_Adler for posting this

=== The Queerties! ===

If you have a moment, feel free to head over to the queerties page and do some voting for OFMD! It is.. a really long list, and OFMD only qualifies for two (Vico Oritiz and OFMD in general), but if you have a few minutes it'd help out. It'd be great to at least get those two voted for!

Vote

===Petition Status===

We're so very close to 80K all!

== Some Final Notes ==

So something I noticed today is that we're not trending as much across all the platforms. On twitter, AdoptOurCrew was sticking to 30-35K per 24 hr period for several days, but now it's down to about 24K. We're down to #2 on Max, and the engagement score has gone down quite a bit. Now that might seem like a bad thing. That might seem like we're losing momentum. But I'd like to offer a different perspective. People are taking breaks. People are still directing their efforts on making things more efficient, and compiling information. People are doing more with less -- higher quality tweets, instagram messages, etc. I know that tumblr isn't really being counted high in those stats that tv companies look at, but Im seeing more people interact and delve deep into analysis of things and hashtags are being used. But most of all I'm seeing people take breaks, whether it's in the global strike for Palestine, or just taking some time to recoup.

Not every day is going to be record breaking, nor should it be, because if it was, it'd be people-breaking too. Take it from someone who's worked on 8 month long quality assurance projects, you're gonna have some down days, and that's a good thing.

We've done SO much in so little amount of time, and with David Jenkins and Ruibo Qian posting uplifting things...they see everything we've done, and while they can't tell us if S3 has been adopted, they are sending love. I don't wanna read too much into it conspiracy wise, but I've seen David multiple times over the past few days post RIGHT when things are getting chaotic across all the platforms. He's watching and he's rooting for us. Don't give up hope, but take this time to take a break. Relax, do something creative and fun that you love. Come back when you're feeling refreshed. We'll get there.

=== How To Help ===

If you are still out doing things for the campaign, here's a reminder on how to help (This is not a directive but a guide for when you come back) How To Help Save OFMD Task List - US How to Help Save OFMD Task List - Outside US

== LOVE NOTEEEES ==

Did you know that you're beautiful? When I say beautiful I mean the non-gendered version. You're like really beautiful, inside and out. Seriously look at you. I can feel your beauty miles and miles away through a computer screen, that's how friggn beautiful you are! You're just such a great fucking person and you should be proud of that. You're gorgeous, and beautiful in all ways, and you deserve to be happy lovelies. As always, love you crew, rest up tonight/today.

=================

Well apparently today is Rhys an Rosie's 20th Anniversary! So tonight's Rhys picture will feature Rosie and her lovely letter of love to our favorite dude.

[sngj08]

[User] idol!sungchan x fem!reader

summary: Sungchan just broke up with his girlfriend he had since his debut in RIIZE. Eunseok tried to cheer him up to play roblox with him, the other members and his friends. Sungchan feels relaxed hanging out in the roblox go that he talks in the ge more often. He ends up being close to you, Eunseok's friend and Sohee's sister. You guys talk more often until things get a little complicated.

08. the deal

previous | masterlist | next

"You KNOW she and the company will react after you said that Sungchan." Eunseok said to Sungchan as he shakes his head, thinking what he has done.

"Why not just tell her we broke up so that I wont be associated with this any more cuz this seems to be the problem of you, the company and who ever that girl was back there." Yn said which made the guys look at her.

"She won't believe that either way. They broke up not long ago, she kept on bothering him recently and only now you came into the picture but then you break up randomly? She'll catch up on what's happening is not real." Anton said out of no where.

"So what do we do now? Sohee won't let this slide you know?" Eunseok said making everyone look at Sungchan for an answer.

"Then why not keep up in doing this for a few then call it off? Me and Yn don't have any mutual feelings toward each other anyways so no biggie." Sungchan shrugs off his 'smart' idea as the other members shake their heads in disappointment of how he reacts to his problems.

"Yeah, I mean whats done is done so we have to grow within it I guess." Yn said, backing up Sungchan's dumb idea.

"She really be doing a lot for her bias." Eunseok whisper's to Anton as the young one just smiles weirdly.

"Oh yeah, to make it more believable, join us later. We're eating at a hotel." Anton sparked up an idea to make the play more believable.

"Let's not, Yuni will be there-" Sungchan said making Eunseok cut him off.

"Isn't that the point?" Eunseok said while hitting his head with his palm.

As the day past and they were at the hotel, eating with other staff. Sohee was with the other members while Eunseok and Anton were busy talking to other staff. Yn was forced to stay beside Sungchan because of the idea of Sungchan playing this through. Yn was scrolling on her phone while Sungchan was eating right beside her, an idea pondered in her mind.

'It's now or never I guess' She sad while quickly opening her camera on her phone and waiting for the perfect moment until she took a picture. As she pressed the white button on her phone, you could hear a small click which caught her red handed.

"Can I see the picture?" Sungchan placed his plate down and tried to get the phone but she placed it behind her.

"No." She said as he suddenly snatched it behind her because of her height difference.

"Don't post that! Retake it." He sad giving the phone back without deleting it and quickly grabbed his plate and posed.

"Uhh." Yn was surprised by his personality but shrugged it off and took another picture with a smile on her face.

"Let me see~" Sungchan said while she handed over her phone for him to see.

"Can you send it to me? I'll make sure to credit you." He said taking his phone out, waiting for the photo on his phone.

"Thanks!" He said as he soon received it and started making the story.

"There, I posted it and tagged you." He said showing the phone to her very quickly.

taglist: (open) @saranghoeforanton @onlyhyunjin @enhacolor

note: tried to make this as interesting as possible for today!! I was lowkey shocked people wanted this story to be posted more in the poll I made today so right when the numbers started shooting up, I have made this chapter last minute so no corrections at have been done as of right now but I will totally be looking at this tomorrow, fixing and editing the story without changing the story line... this is my first time making a fake instagram story thing from scratch on my laptop and it looks so real with my sleepy eyes lol... spoiler: I also made a fake twitter photo and was going to use it here but I think it would be better for next chapter so please look forward to it and dont forget to like!!

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

POLL RESULT—! > Yes.

...

Then it is decided. Good luck.

ALBEDO'S ROUTE: THE BIRTH OF IMPERFECTIONS [ DAY 7: BEGIN ]

It had been days since they've seen ALBEDO again.

Now, YESTERDAY is no fool. They spent the past few days assessing orders and making sure they were well taken care of. That was something they weren't going to forget so quickly.

Maybe he forgot his order, they thought, shrugging as they focused on their job.

Though, it was short lived when they heard the familiar chime of the bell at their door, signifying that someone had came in their shop.

"Excuse me," ALBEDO said, adjusting the coat he wore with a nod. "I'm here to receive my order for the flowers."

"Ah, of course! I'll be right there with you," YESTERDAY replied, raising their head to look at him before they looked away to get to the bouquets.

"Let's see, they're... Chrysanthemum and Gerbera Daisies..." they murmured, retrieving the two bouquets and handing it over to the blonde. "Here they are, wrapped and ready. I made sure that these are as fresh as I can get them."

He nodded in response, retrieving the flowers without fuss. Though, he did raise an eyebrow at the arrangement.

Oh, no. Is there an issue in them?

"... How curious," he said, his lips quirking up to a small smile. "I wasn't expecting for you to choose white chrysanthemums. you seem to have some particular tastes in your arrangement."

Oh. It's just the flowers.

"Ah, well... I thought that the meaning fits you, sir," they replied, scratching the back of their neck. "You seem to be the type to be honest, so it would only make sense for me to choose that, no?"

"Perhaps," he nods in agreement, humming. "As for the Gerbera Daisies, I'm quite intrigued. What made you choose these, and in pink as well?"

The florist paused. There was a lot of reasons for them to say why, but that may not be something that he wants to hear. Pondering over his question, they closed their eye to think.

"... Well," they began, pondering over what to say carefully. "I chose these flowers because I want to..."

This poll will receive answers until 11 PM (GMT+8). Keep in mind that the majority will win, so vote what you think is right.

Additionally, any poll after this with additional votes WILL be null when the results are out. Choose wisely, focus on the recent poll, and ignore the past.

FLAWED TAGLIST: (send an ask to be added for Flawed!) @beloved-blaiddyd ; @mixed-kester ; @mochinon-yah ; @fffiii ; @leftdestiny-posts ; @ambrosia-divine

[krazykiki05]

Academic Liability

Draco states lovingly at his girlfriend as she reads the recipe in her potions book. Draco hated doing anything class-related. He was a try-hard his first year but from there with just went downhill. Regina was determined to not let Malfoy get kicked out so... She did all the work for him. Even if their schedules weren't exactly the same, they had all the same classes. She didn't mind it, honestly. It was little extra work. And she like Draco, a lot. She would do almost anything for him. So once Professor Snape released the students to start on the healing potion, she expected to do it all by herself. You're probably thinking she gets out of it. Well, hugs, kisses, and protection from Draco Malfoy. With her boyfriend having the last name he does, people don't mess with him. And by proxy, her. The relationship was perfect in her eyes.

To an outsiders point of view, like Professor Snape, the poor girl was getting used. The teacher like Regina. She was a bright student and had so much potential to be a great wizard. It angered him to see her waste her talents carrying her boyfriend academically.

The student was lost in her task, measuring and pouring the correct amount. And Draco busied himself by watching her movements, he fingers moving swiftly and delicately. Neither of them noticing their teacher approaching. Severus slammed his hand down on their table, scaring both students. They look at him with wide eyes.

"Mr...Malfoy.... What have you done to... Contribute...To today's assignment?" He asks slowly, anger seething in him. Draco panics to make up a lie, looking to his girlfriend for help. "Don't!-look at her." He barks. "And don't...lie." Draco was now frozen in fear and confusion. Once Snape realizes he wasn't going to get an answer out of the boy, he stands up straight.

"Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Mikealson. See me after class." With that, he walks away. Regina was annoyed she didn't get her potions checked to make sure she was doing right. Draco rushes to stand up.

"What-What can I do to help?" He asks meekly.

"Can you keep stirring while I write the report?" She asks. The blonde nods and gingerly takes the spoon from her, stirring like how he saw her doing it.

Class was dismissed. Everyone stood up except for the only couple into the room. Shame washed over them as everyone watched them stay in their seats. Hermione shot Regina a looking and stores look. Once the door closed, Snape finally stood from his seat at his desk. He silently walked over to the middle of the class room where they were at. He looks inside their pot, stirring it slightly. "Due to Mr. Malfoy's impeccable stirring skills... The potions has post it's affect." Snape commentates. Draco makes a face, refusing to believe you can over stir a potion. Snape polls at him. "Please go wait outside the classroom. And don't... Wander." He requests. The teacher then takes a step back to lean back on the desk in front of them crossing his hands in front of his body. He waits until Draco had shut the door before speaking. "Ms. Mikealson... You are a brilliant student, you excel in all other classes, and have a gift for transfigurations so do tell me... Why you allow yourself to be surrounded by people who take advantage of your brilliantness?" Regina wanted to relish in the moment of THE Professor Severus Snape complimenting her but the insult stung more.

"Draco doesn't-"

"Yes he does!" He interrupts her. "Don't allow yourself to be blinded by dumb young love!"

"I'm not blinded by anything, sir! Draco isn't holding me back." Regina finally defends. Snape obviously doesn't believe her.

"If I witness you doing all the work again... There will be consequences for both for you." He threatens. "You're dismissed. Send Mr. Malfoy in here." Regina swiftly stands from her seat and strides to the door. Snape watches it open then close, just to open a second later. The blonde slowly walks in.

"Yes, professor?" He answers.

"How entitled can you be?" Snape asks.

"Excuse me!?"

"You care about Regina, do you not?"

"I do!" Cracow as now annoyed.

"Then why do you hold her back?"

"What!?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Draco. I watch Regina finish out all classroom assignments while you don't lift a finger. Half of all your reports are in her handwriting!" Snape yells. Draco stands there and takes it, but Not without biting his tongue. "Start pulling your own weight in class or I will seperate you two." With that, Draco was dissmissed.

[lady-harrowhark]

Playlist Countdown to the Title

My Big Resurrection Event fic isn't dropping until July 26th, so in the meantime I thought it'd be fun to do a little countdown! I've said it before, but I feel like this event is our fandom's Cannes, so I think we should make our own red carpets. Life is too short (and love is too long) to not hype your own creations :)

Given that the title of my fic is pulled from the lyrics of the first track on my playlist for it (all lowercase, with parenthesis, naturally), I decided to pull some of my other favorite lyrics from the playlist to post throughout the day.

If you're a fan of Two Truths and a Lie, or if you just like clicking buttons, I've got a poll over here where you can vote for which option you think is NOT included in the upcoming fic. The poll is open until about 10:45 PM central time tonight, July 24th.

After the poll closes, I'll be posting the correct answer along with the title and summary, and of course, a link to the playlist.

Without further ado, to kick things off we have an old favorite :

6. The Mixed Tape - Jack’s Mannequin

I read your letter The one you left when you broke into my house Retracing every step you made And you said you meant it And there's a piece of me in every single Second of every single day But if it's true then tell me how it got this way Where are you now?

[peppermint-chocolate-cherries]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Oooh! I saw this fanfiction ask floating around earlier, I'm happy to receive it!

I know I talk a lot about plot bunnies, and have dabbled into character analysis, but the extent of my actual published writing is only four full fanfiction stories on AO3/FFN and two Valentine shorts on Tumblr. So I guess I can share all six.

You must log in to AO3 for the first four links below to work. If not, you can also find them on FFN, my profile is linked on my pinned post. The last two are Tumblr quickies, luckily I was able to find them again.

Absorbing The Deck

Matthew and Alfred are adopted by the Spades Royals when they find the imprints of future Marks on their skin. What will become of the twins when they meet the other Deck Royals? And what is this prophecy everyone is talking about? Cardverse AU, CanLiech, USUK. Spoilers for content warning: almost everyone gets killed off.

The Nefarious Mathilda Jones

Jones Conglomerates Incorporated controls the government. Its runaway heiress seeks to dethrone her brother Alfred, her husband Arthur, and the massive empire. While the mobs keep fleeing from the police, and others have suspicions, only Sergeant Gilbert Bielschmidt knows first-hand that Mathilda is hiding nearby. Crime, drama, mystery, once again a lot of murder and death, a heavy dose of social commentary, inspired by Batman and V for Vendetta, multiple ships.

The English Quixote

Arthur fell asleep in his London flat, and awoke in the kingdom of Ixaidel, in a magical realm far away. To the west, Prathage's civil war ends, but eternal winter remains. To the east, Stulikya's princess plans to overthrow her sister-in-law. As the realm's Don Quixote, Arthur must help correct misdeeds, break spells, and save kingdoms before returning home. Fairy tale satire, magic, LietCan, GerBela, SpaKraine, RusLiech, SwissCzech.

Only Aces Remain

The Aces of the Deck have noticed that something is wrong. They are missing memories, and dream of working with other Royals during a war. The two "Joker" fellows in the mirrors aren't helping, and neither is that sorcerer's soul. Who are they supposed to be working with, and how did only the Aces stay the same? How can they set things straight again, and at what cost? Cardverse, mystery, twisting plot between past and present, political drama. SpaBela, CanLiech, SwissHun.

Discovered

A Valentines Day 2018 one-shot where Arthur and Madeline's secret love affair is revealed to the other nations. Also, Spain is a rat bastard for rigging a bet on why Madeline keeps rejecting everyone else's advances.

Amber & Rue (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

A four-part one-shot from 2020 where Madeline learns on Valentine's Day that she has a secret admirer. After receiving a bouquet of flowers including rue, amber jewelry, and a poem, she meets her admirer for dinner. LietCan, with side pairings of GerBela and SpaKraine.

I'm not one to tag other people on these types of things, but if anyone feels like answering the prompt on their own go for it! Meanwhile, I'll go cross-post my Valentine ficlets to AO3 so that they can be more easily found in the future. After that, I'll continue my fae realm world-building for Damsel Causing Distress, now that my being-reblogged-daily poll is inspiring me to look at it more closely...

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

In the last couple of years, I have listened to all 125-ish hours of the Russell Howard and Jon Richardson radio show. Also, all 217-ish hours of the original Bugle, and something close to the same number of episodes in the reboot. I have now reached the 2023 episodes of The Bugle, which means that tragically, I’m going to run out of them at some point.

From this, I have learned that apparently, I’m quite happy in life if I have some audio-only comedy going, preferably something long-running in which I can get quite invested. I’ve tried to drag The Bugle out as long as I can, but once I run out of back episodes, I’m going to need something to replace it.

I’ve already decided what I’m going to do as soon as I finish The Bugle. I’m going to get over my aversion to Stuart Goldsmith, and listen to the episodes of the Comedian’s Comedian podcast that I downloaded last year because I wanted to hear them, and then never listened because it started bothering me to hear Stuart Goldsmith’s voice, after I may have, fucking ridiculously, kind of gotten into a fight with him late last year. And I didn’t stop listening to him because I disliked him or anything. More because I was annoyed at myself and just didn’t want to be reminded of it.

It’s fine, I won’t get into it all again. Some guy was a dick about David O’Doherty like ten years ago, and I may have slightly overreacted, there was some horrible shit going on in my personal life that slightly overlapped with some specific ways in which that guy was a dick, I might have been projecting, also I did not realize that if you withdraw your financial support for a person’s podcast, the person who runs that podcast can see what you write in the “why I’m unsubscribing” field. I mean, I wish I hadn’t made a big deal about it in a place where Stuart Goldsmith could see, but I maintain that I was basically correct, that guy is the absolute fucking worst, I hate him so much, he’s on that fucking Irish laughing reality show they recently announced, I hope Aisling Bea punches him in the face for being a shitty misogynist and also just every other type of “the worst”.

I mean, it’s impressive if you manage to be such a dick on a podcast that you don’t just ruin your own episode, you ruin an entire podcast for me, I lose all respect for the host just because he managed to be in a room with you without punching you.

I realize it might look like the above couple of paragraphs were me breaking my claim that I wouldn’t get into it, but compared to the length of the multiple posts I wrote about it when it actually happened last year, only doing two paragraphs is me refraining from getting into it. Anyway. Before that happened last year, I’d listened to a bunch of episodes of Stuart Goldsmith’s Comedian’s Comedian podcast, I’d really enjoyed them (so much so that I’d financially subscribed for bonus content), I’d had a bunch more episodes downloaded that are still waiting to be listened to. So after I finish The Bugle, I’m going to get over my Stuart Goldsmith aversion and listen to those. But there are only about 15 of those, it won’t take that long, so that still leaves me with an open spot for some other long-running audio thing to get into after that.

So, what do people think? I thought I’d make a poll, but then I realized that Tumblr polls restrict the character count in the potential answers, and what I love about Tumblr is that it’s not fucking Twitter, you can write as much as you damn well want. So I’m going to instead label each answer by a letter, so I can write about it properly and then translate it to a poll option.

A) Go back to where I left off the Russell Howard and Jon Richardson radio show, after Russell left the show in 2008. Jon continued hosting the show without Russell for a couple more years, but with a rotating crew of guests (regular guest Matt Forde, whom I can manage to find funny if I force myself to ignore the centrist Blairite thing, and someone different each episode), and a lot of the other guests are people I like. I do have all those episodes downloaded, but have not listened to them because Russell leaving the show was too depressing. But I could go do that this year.

B) Adam Buxton and Joe Cornish’s radio show, 2007-2011. I know this show is supposed to be very funny, and every time I’ve seen Adam Buxton on panel shows I’ve really liked him. I’ve been warned, before, that it gets depressing near the end, as the fame discrepancy between the hosts increases and this makes one of them sad. But given my previous long-running audio choices – the Russell Howard and Jon Richardson Show, and The Bugle – I’m pretty sure “two white guys talk to each other in a comedic way once a week for a number of years, then one gets more famous than the other and that makes things sad” is exactly what I’m into.

C) The old Peacock and Gamble radio things. About this one, I’ve been warned that the downside to it is that Ed Gamble is a lot rougher than the version we see of him on TV. Again, this sounds good to me, as I really like Ed Gamble, but I like him best when he sheds a little of his TV polish, and I think I’d very much like a version of him from before he developed that in the first place. Having said that, I realize that sometimes “this is an edgier version of that comedian” means they’re less pretty and polished overall, and sometimes, it means they say racial slurs. I’m hoping this has a lot more of the former than the latter – though if there’s a bit of the latter, I can cringe my way through a few slurs. You cannot hold people everything they said in 2012.

D) The Do the Right Thing podcast: I very much like Danielle Ward and I very much like Michael Legge, but I haven’t heard as much from either of them as I’d like, so this would neatly fix that. I think of Margaret Cabourn-Smith as being mildly annoying for the completely unfair reason that she went on the Taskmaster podcast once and thought Jamali had personally sewed the decorated sweater he’d brought in as a prize task, when he’d clearly just told production to make it. I think at the time I was really into cheering for Lee Mack to beat Jamali Maddix in the scoring, so I took against her for the way she gave undue credit to Jamali, like a sports fan if I find out someone I don’t know roots for a rival team. There is no good reason for me to maintain this grudge, I’m sure she’s a good comedian, I’d like to listen to this podcast and find out. Also, I like a lot of the people they’ve had on as guests. And bonus: it’s a rare option on this list that isn’t just several white guys talking to each other. I don’t love how much of my taste in audio comedy seems to veer toward white guys talking to each other.

E) Pappy’s Fun Club podcast: I’ve heard a few episodes of this and hugely enjoyed them. I really like Matthew Crosby, don’t know much about the other two (don’t actually know that much about Matthew Crosby, but enough to know I like him), but they seem entertaining. They’ve had a lot of guests over the years, some of whom are people I like.

F) The John Robins and Ellis James radio stuff: Tick this box if you think I don’t have anything else to do for the next 1,000 years. Yes, I hear it’s very, very good and I really like John Robins’ stand-up and I think this is exactly the sort of thing I’d hugely enjoy. But there’s so much of it, and it would take 1,000 years.

G) Isolating - that thing where David O'Doherty pretty much just talked to himself on an island off the West Coast of Ireland nearly every day for like a year at the beginning of the pandemic.

H) Book Club, Shambles, something like that - figure out what, exactly, are the different things Robin Ince and Josie Long have done together over the years. Then listen to them. I really like the few things I've heard Robin Ince do, Josie Long is the ninth wonder of the world (Nish Kumar's the eighth), this seems like an obvious choice. I just haven't yet worked out exactly what it is. Does anyone else know?

I) Something else? Please tell me your recommendations! Especially if they involve anything besides two white guys talking to each other! Honestly I don't know how many fans there are on Tumblr of most options on this list, so there may not be much point in turning this into a poll, it's really just a way to organize my own thoughts. But by publishing it as a poll instead of just as a list, I hope I'll encourage recommendations.

I will say that as much as I'm sure Off Menu is great, it's ruled out because I dislike food-based shows. Similar thing with Brett Goldstein's podcast, I hear it's good but I'm not into movies enough for that. I've thought of both Mark Watson's Menkind podcast and Mark Steel's WTF podcast because I really like Mark Watson and Mark Steel and I like both podcasts' premises, but Mark Watson's co-host is a reality baking star, and Mark Steel's co-host is his son, who sucks, so I'm ruling those out too.

[scp-or-dread-power]

oh nevermind my apologies, i see that you just answered that recently

don't worry don't worry! it's perfectly fine, there's been a few posts since then.

I am debating going through and editing the polls w/ the answer once time runs out, since it'd take up less posts than mass-reblogging them or queuing the answers (I post alot on my main & other blogs, making the Correct Answers their own reblogs would absolutely put me to post limit within a few hours. Already at a hundred or so polls here I believe? or close to it.)

It'd probably be when I actually have energy & inspiration for this blog, like when I actually queue a full week or so worth of polls.

recently I've just been queuing the next day's & the day after's. if you've noticed any days that just. didn't have polls. it was bc i completely forgot about the blog & was too tired to read through an scp article to make a poll & didn't remember any Dread Powers I haven't already done 🥲

If I do, I'll probably start with the ones that people got wrong. There's like.. 2 or 3? i think? I believe all are Dread Powers (edit: just realized the most recent Wrong One was an SCP. huh, didn't expect that... though i did write it w/ the Dread Power keywords looking back...) so the most difficult part would just be finding the episode numbers since I can't remember them for the life of me...

[sillylotrpolls]

It was a lot of fun to read the speculation in the notes! Interestingly, I don't think anyone posted the actual answer (knowing that it was for sure correct, that is). I would guess this is because most people didn't know how to find it and not because this one time all of tumblr managed to show the requested restraint. XD

I do apologize for the delay in clarifying the calculation is based on the source code, and doesn't include any embedded files. I know that affected some votes.

One last note before I get to the answer: with one caveat, all of these results are in the top 30 longest pages on Tolkien Gateway out 12,384 pages. So no matter what you guessed, you were pretty darn close!

And now, the reveal:

The List

So, a fun thing about most wikis is they have "special pages" that have stats about the wiki. Tolkien Gateway has one for "long pages," which ranks every single page in descending order of length.

https://tolkiengateway.net/w/index.php?title=Special:LongPages

Here are the 30 longest pages on Tolkien Gateway as of June 27, 2024:

1 ‎J.R.R. Tolkien's inspirations/notes ‎[89,873 bytes] -- 15% (congrats to all the winners! 🎊) 2 ‎Gandalf ‎[81,361 bytes] -- 3.1% 3 ‎The Lord of the Rings Online ‎[73,702 bytes] -- 3.3% 4 ‎J.R.R. Tolkien ‎[65,236 bytes] 5 ‎Sauron ‎[65,163 bytes] -- 3.7% 6 ‎Timeline/Third Age ‎[64,564 bytes] 7 ‎Galadriel ‎[64,547 bytes] 8 ‎Tolkien's works in popular media ‎[62,228 bytes] -- 4.7% 9 ‎The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power ‎[51,014 bytes] 10 ‎Bilbo Baggins ‎[50,095 bytes] 11 ‎Possible inconsistencies in the legendarium ‎[49,976 bytes] 12 ‎Saruman ‎[47,187 bytes] 13 ‎Tolkien Gateway ‎[46,037 bytes] 14 ‎Haradrim ‎[45,218 bytes] 15 ‎Musical chapters from The Lord of the Rings after the mythology of J. R. R. Tolkien, Op. 73 ‎[44,482 bytes] -- 10.7% 16 ‎The Lord of the Rings: War in the North ‎[42,898 bytes] 17 ‎Letters not published in The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien ‎[41,603 bytes] -- 11.6% 18 ‎Aragorn ‎[41,349 bytes] 19 ‎Gondor ‎[40,960 bytes] 20 ‎The Lord of the Rings ‎[40,324 bytes] 21 ‎Frodo Baggins ‎[40,263 bytes] 22 ‎The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King ‎[40,221 bytes] 23 ‎The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey ‎[39,756 bytes] 24 ‎The Hobbit (film series) ‎[39,691 bytes] 25 ‎Witch-king ‎[38,092 bytes] -- 0.4% 26 ‎Eriador ‎[37,829 bytes] 27 ‎The Council of Elrond ‎[37,783 bytes] -- 3.4% 28 ‎Morgoth ‎[37,397 bytes] 29 ‎Racism ‎[36,751 bytes] -- 10.2% 30 ‎Misconceptions ‎[36,681 bytes] -- 16.1%

Winners

Special congrats to @severalowls, who wrote:

#its got to be misconceptions or the inspirations notes page right?#like those are absolutely ripe for speculation and fan arguments and the worlds longest analysis essays

@puzzledemigod, @thedaughterofkings, and @lkaluna also had correct guesses in the notes. 🎉

But wait! What about the poll winner, "Timeline"????

That's a super-good question, and one I myself was puzzled by just now. I distinctly recalled that it amused me that "Timeline/Third Age" was higher on the list than just plain "Timeline," and I included the latter instead of the former deliberately.

However, when I went back just now to get the numbers "Timeline" had dropped not just out of the top 50 but the top 500. What?! Did I get confused? Was there a copy-paste error?

No, what happened is that Tolkien Gateway is a wiki and thus is not static.

So what happened to the Timeline page specifically? It and all the timeline pages got an overhaul starting June 15th. In fact, the entire wiki got a visual makeover, which I gotta tell you is really throwing my autistic brain off each time I look something up.

This poll was posted on June 5, so in an ideal world I would have posted the results June 13th and this wouldn't have even come up, but, well, such is the state of my available poll analysis energy.

This change moved the Timeline page from about 34th longest, with 35,265 bytes, all the way down to 1,472nd with 4,150 bytes.

On the bright side, this has been an excellent lesson in the nature of wikis, so I think we can chalk this up as an overall win.

Consolation

However, if you voted Timeline without knowing that Tolkien Gateway breaks up the timeline according to age, you made an extremely good guess. Here are the lengths for each of the timeline pages:

6 Timeline/Third Age ‎[64,564 bytes] 56 Timeline/First Age ‎[26,981 bytes] 145 Timeline/Second Age ‎[16,694 bytes] 234 Timeline/Years of the Trees ‎[13,159 bytes] 348 Timeline/Fourth Age ‎[10,105 bytes] 1472 Timeline ‎[4,150 bytes] 3821 Timeline/Days before days ‎[2,048 bytes]

Adding them up, that's 137,701 bytes total!!

...Hey, what about the Lord of the Rings fandom Wiki?

That's a great question! The LotR fandom wiki also has a special page for listing its longest pages. You can find it here:

https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Special:LongPages

And here are the current top 10:

1 ‎The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King ‎[131,296 bytes] 2 ‎The Lord of the Rings film trilogy ‎[124,847 bytes] 3 ‎Gandalf ‎[97,287 bytes] 4 ‎Sauron ‎[91,573 bytes] 5 ‎The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power ‎[89,047 bytes] 6 ‎Music of the Middle-earth film series ‎[68,357 bytes] 7 ‎The Lord of the Rings ‎[66,464 bytes] 8 ‎Aragorn II ‎[62,683 bytes] 9 ‎Morgoth ‎[60,593 bytes] 10 ‎Saruman ‎[58,857 bytes]

And since I'm sure you're wondering, on that wiki "Timeline of Arda" has 10,265 bytes for 297th place out of 6,693 total pages.

The End

Is it ironic, coincidence, or function inspiring form that this post discussing long wiki pages is one of the longest results posts so far? Discuss.

If you aren't familiar, Tolkien Gateway is one of two excellent wiki sources for Tolkien/Lord of the Rings information.

There is also The One Wiki To Rule Them All, aka The Lord of the Rings wiki. Both are quite useful and well-sourced, and if you're looking up something more than just the basics it would behoove you to use to both.

Per usual, the answer will be posted in the results post after the poll ends, along with the rankings for the other 11 pages. If you look up the answer before then, please refrain from posting it in the notes. :)

ETA: As far as I know, the calculation of a page's length in bytes is based on its source code. So, any images or other files would be represented as URLs and perhaps some text specifying a size or border. So, they do contribute somewhat to a page's length, but not an oversized amount.

[sakuraogamizine]

Glad I found your tumblr since you seem to be answering questions here! I sent a cc but you have not answered anything there which is a little concerning. I was wondering if you are planning to announce your mod team and results of the interest check as is commonplace for zines? Especially if you are doing physical it would be nice to know there is demand for it before applying as a merch artist. Also what charity will the funds be going to? Apologies if you already answered this on your tumblr, I am going off of what is available on your carrd and other social medias. There is different bits of information on all of them and it would be nice if everything was in the same place across platforms. Thank you for your time

Hello, and thank you for your question! Apologies for the delay on our CC-- it's been quite the busy month vv.

We've been having some complications with our carrd's limitations, so mod team announcements have been postponed for quite some time. However, we are very close to fixing the issue and our list should be up on 12/30! As for interest check results, as stated with our moderator apps opening post, they will be announced! The graphics for such an announcement was only made possible once our wonderful graphics moderator came onto the team. They've been hard at work getting all the graphics we'll need for the next few months ready. We only ask for a little bit more time to better polish our interest check result graphics. As for our charity, while we have a list of potential pursuits, our chosen charity has not been announced yet. After contributor applications have closed, we will be releasing a poll to all socials with a more refined version of this list, so our contributors, as well as all of our supporters may have a vote in which charity we end up donating the profits to.

As for Information being different among all our platforms, All information across all our socials should be the same (though, some may be presented a bit differently, as different social medias have different limitations.) While we do our best to double check that everything is correct, somethings may slip past us. If you notice any continuity errors, please feel free to reach out and inform us. We want to make sure all our information is available, fair and squared, amongst all our platforms.

If you have any more concerns, feel free to send us another question! Or if you would like something more personal, a DM or email our way is available as well. Yet again, thank you for your question! We hope this answered everything. <3

[daydreaminglifelesslove]

Posting this because I’ve been silent and to explain & vent. And to post more because this is my blog.

Please don’t harass the person mentioned here, this is just a vent and a reaching out that won’t be seen and doesn’t need to be, even if I care and don’t if it reaches them in asks or dms. If it is reached out by people, don’t overbloat their dms or asks. Or harass them, I don’t condone that.

this is a few days old news, but explain feelings/situation of what I’ve been dealing with: being blocked by the creator of the mcyt religious guilt poll of the aforementioned reblogs on my blog right here for reaching out and dming them so many of my thoughts

in the timeframe of events after 1. I pulled 2 all nighters in a row

2. after i sent in a long ask explanation/propaganda about c!martyn days before

3. after interacting with their blog and reblogging and posting my thoughts about the polls when they started & went on

going close to a para social (because i didn’t have a better word to say what i felt) feeling/explanation in dms, or outright saying the confession of why I’m dming them and like them and their content in dms is parasocial and way later (like 4 hrs later cause i had no choice but to go to the fair and hang out with family that day) correcting what i said of it being para social to onesidedsocial about wanting to share interests in dms and asking for their consent to be followed for fun. even if they said they took breaks from tumblr and aren’t social. Even if i understand that. Even if I got softblocked, missed their post (because of aforementioned softblocking, and not scrolling down because i wasn’t thinking about their posts, my first thoughts all sharp focused on the broken follow and if tumblr glitched before i got to softblocked) about being them unsocial and how people should not bother to reach out in dms and will be blocked. Asked them right after anyway, starting nice with asking for the gif they took out of their header then if I got softblocked by tumblr or by them and not getting a answer to my messages, going to send another after i did see the post saying i understand and apologize, sending it, it not going through because i was blocked by simply reaching out and asking questions and trying to start a online friendship. Even if it all i said was wordy, and long, and I understand what they’re going through.

There’s not much to say besides it sucks, it matters and doesn’t for many reasons, and i won’t dm them, but I’d love to still interact. It doesn’t matter as well because this is few days (as of posting this) old.

Anyway it’s my fault for going overboard and confessing and asking them in dms for confirmation after a softblock, but i hope whoever sees this understands me and my point of view too.

[ladydimitrescuspet]

Everything I Do For You Is Out Of Love [NSFW]

AO3 Link! long time since I've actually posted one of these smut dialogue prompts! I was having trouble with this one, couldn't quite figure out how to get it to work until I remember some mad idea I had about a fic. but please enjoy, tell me what you think, apologies for any and all grammatical errors, and please read the warnings first! also just wanna say that even tho I wrote this, doesn't mean that I condone Alcina's behaviour. this is not a healthy relationship, it's toxic.

And as promised, you can vote on my au poll again, your choices: you au, pirate au, and titanic au! voting closes at midnight est, happy voting!

-----

warnings: toxic love, blood, torture??, bodily harm, consensual sex, masochism??, sadism??, a bit of bondage, and aftercare! so sorry if I missed any, feel free to tell me and I'll add them!

48. "I can’t wait to put bruises all over that pretty skin." + angry sex

You were jolted awake by the sound of something shattering. You let out a small sigh, you knew what it meant when Alcina was in one of her moods. You called out to Eliza, the maid Alcina had set up across the hall from her bedchambers. "Eliza, come quickly, please!" You said it as loud as you possibly could, knowing that the woman would still be awake enough to hear you.

Eliza yawned and rubbed her eyes as she entered the room. "What's it this time, Y/N?" She asked.

"The Lady seems to be in a mood, the mood. I'm assuming her talk with Mother Miranda didn't end well, as they usually don't." You said as you got out of the bed. Your words snapped Eliza out of her sleepy state.

"Oh, dear, we'd better get you ready then." Eliza replied. "Where's the Lady keep her ropes, the trunk?" You gave a hum in reply, indicating that she was correct. "And you remember the safe word, yes?"

You nodded your head. "I remember, it's roses." You answered. "You'll have to help me get the ropes tied. The last time I did it, I fell to the floor and Alcina wouldn't stop laughing at me. She laughed so much that she brightened her own mood and we ended up cuddling the whole night." You had a small smile on your face as you told Eliza that. "But I doubt she'd want a repeat of that so I'll need your help." You said as you stripped your clothes off, only wearing your undergarments.

You stood up on the stool Eliza had brought you so you wouldn't just be hanging from the ceiling from your wrists. "It's important that you stay on this stool until the Lady arrives and can properly make sure nothing happens." Eliza said as she wrapped the rope around them, tying them up. She tugged on them before speaking. "That's not too tight, is it?"

"No, it feels just fine. I know Alcina will appreciate you helping me out." You replied.

Eliza let a small frown settle onto her face. She was always fussing over your wellbeing since your arrival to the Castle. She was the protective mother you wish you had had growing up. Eliza became even more protective when you became Alcina's companion. One of the reasons why she was moved from her old room down with the other servants to across the hall from Alcina's room.

"It shouldn't be long before the Lady arrives. I'm sure her girls are out and about the Castle so I'll go downstairs and get some tea going. It'll be waiting to come up for the two of you once the Lady rings for it. You make sure to be safe now, alright?" Eliza gave you a small smile when you nodded at her before she left the room.

You were now left all alone, standing on a stool attached to a rope hanging from the ceiling, waiting for your Lady to arrive. You could never tell if this was a punishment or a reward, the way she used you after her upsetting phone calls to Mother Miranda. The first time had been so abrupt that you barely registered what happened. After the first time, you hid when you heard crashing coming from her study, knowing exactly what would happen when she came into the room and found you hiding in her closet. The smile she'd given you haunted you for weeks. But after a while, this became the norm. You were no longer afraid of what was happening, you kind of enjoyed it after a while. Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door opening a closing.

Golden eyes stared at the sight of you, her tongue darting out to lick at her lips as she stalked towards you. "My, my, look at you waiting for your Mistress like a good little pet." Alcina said, her voice slightly low. She circled you a few times before stopping in front of you, her finger under your chin. "I can't wait to put bruises all over that pretty skin of yours." You couldn't help but shiver at her words.

As her eyes ran over your body, you saw her frown. "You're still in clothes, darling, that's not how I like you." Soon you were bare, feeling the tips of her claws on your body. You hissed as she dug the tip of one of them into your shoulder, her mouth on the wound quickly. "You taste marvelous, draga mea."

"Thank you, My Lady." Your response was met with a slap and you whimpered.

"I don't believe I gave you permission to speak." Alcina hissed at you. "You should be grateful I haven't kicked that stool from under your feet. I should let you dangle there, but I won't. I'm sure Eliza would have my head if she could if you were to go to her broken." Alcina rolled her eyes. "Pick a number one through ten, quickly."

"Six." You replied.

The Lady smiled. "I'll take it easy on you this time." You braced yourself as she punched you in the stomach. Is that what she called taking it easy? You could taste the blood in your mouth. "Five more, sweetness." The next one was to your cheek, opposite of the one she slapped. Her aim was off a little and she caught your nose, more blood. "You're taking these like a champ, little one." It made you angry how easily excitable she got at causing you pain, but she still looked gorgeous even if it was due to you being in pain. The next four came swiftly, all to your stomach. You cried out in pain after the fourth one, blood getting on the Lady's dress as you coughed. "Oh dear, I loved this dress. You're going to have to pay for that." She said with a shake of her head.

"I'm, I'm so s-sorry, My-" She cut you off with another slap.

Alcina clicked her tongue at you. "I still didn't give you permission to speak." Alcina said as she went to find her cigarette holder. She light a cigarette, blowing the smoke in your face causing you to scrunched it up as you turned your head. "Oh, did you not like that, pet? Look at me when I'm speaking to you." You turned your head to face her again.

You let out a scream as she pushed the cigarette into your shoulder, right over the wound she'd inflicted upon you earlier. She chuckled at your reaction before going to your backside. You felt something wet on your back, realising that it was her tongue before you felt her lips pressing against you.

"You're being so good for me, love." Alcina said into your ear causing you to shiver, letting out a small groan as a bit of pain ran through your body. "Tell me, how did you know that I'd like to find you like this when I came in the room? Perhaps I would've been lenient and just taken you right on the bed."

You gulped. "Well, I... I thought that when I, uh, heard the, um, th-the noise..." You trailed off as the Lady continued peppering your neck in kisses. "M- my Lady?" You questioned.

"Yes, love?" Alcina hummed. "What noise did you hear, darling?" Alcina asked when you didn't continue speaking.

"You threw something." You replied, whining when Alcina moved away from you.

Alcina hummed. "And do you know why I threw something?" You nodded your head. "Of course you do. I almost always get in a rage after I speak to Mother Miranda. But do you know why she called?" Alcina asked. You shook your head this time. "She called to talk to me about you." Alcina said.

You? Why would Mother Miranda call Alcina to talk about you? "Why would she... why?" You asked.

"She said that you're a distraction, that I need to stay focused on the experiments instead of you." Alcina replied. She grabbed your legs, holding them in the air as she moved the stool over so she could sit down. "But I could never take my focus away from you, draga mea." Alcina said quietly before licking your thigh. You gasped when she bit down on your flesh but not hard enough to draw blood. She did this a few more times, alternating between your thighs. The bites were painful for a while, but they dulled down.

You whimpered when her tongue trailed up your thigh, stopping so close to where you wish her mouth was. "B-but you'd be disobeying Mother Miranda," You replied. "Forgive me, My Lady, but I'm just, you shouldn't-" You were cut off by Alcina pressing a finger into you. "I... I... More, please." You begged a bit.

Alcina moved her finger in and out of you at a slow pace. "What was it that you were trying to say, darling?" Alcina asked, pressing a small kiss just below your belly button causing you to shiver again. "Don't be quiet now, love. Answer my question." Alcina said as she halted the movement of her finger.

You whined. "You shouldn't... let me continue to distract you, My Lady." You answered. You bucked your hips against her fingers to try and encourage her to continue fucking you, but she wouldn't budge. "Please, My Lady."

"Hush!" Alcina hissed as she pulled her finger from out of your body, putting the digit in her mouth to taste you. "You do taste divine, darling. Perhaps Miranda was right when she said you'd make a nice vintage." Alcina smiled at you before standing up. "Now, be good and stay still. I'm growing quite tired of you hanging here and if I have to see you dangle around in my face, I might just have some more fun and we wouldn't want that, now would we?" You shook your head. Which wasn't a good idea since your face still hurt from her punches.

When you were finally free from the ropes, Alcina dropped you to the floor knocking the wind out of you a bit. The kick she delivered to your side didn't help at all as you tried to grasp your breath. "My Lady, please." You coughed out, specks of blood getting on the carpet.

Alcina growled. "First you disrespect me, speaking out of turn. Trying to reprimand me for my actions of disobeying Mother Miranda. Now you have the absolute audacity to get your blood on my carpet? Not to mention the blood you got on my dress earlier." You curled in on yourself as best as you could until Alcina yanked you up into a standing position. "Get on the bed and don't move. I'm already risking you getting blood on the sheets by allowing this." Alcina said before heading into the bathroom. She came back with a bowl of water, soap, and washcloth. "Stay very still, lest you want your head to end up next to your body." Alcina said as she unsheathed her claws.

Your breathing grew harder as your eyes widened a bit. What was she doing? "My L-lady?" You asked, barely moving your lips. Alcina hummed. "What are yo-you doing?"

"I just need some of your blood." Alcina said as she pressed the tip of one of her clawed to the side of your neck. "Now, like I said, stay still or it'll hurt even worse." You closed your eyes, gritting your teeth and the claw dug into your skin, making a cut along your neck. You felt tears starting to form from the burning of the cut until you felt Alcina's tongue against you, soothing the pain away. "That wasn't so bad now was it, pet?" Alcina frowned when you didn't reply, grasping your hair in her hand to pull your neck back, making your eyes snap open. "I said that wasn't so bad now was it, pet, and I expect to be answered."

"No, My Lady, it wasn't, it wasn't bad, n-no." You replied. Despite Alcina's tongue healing your cut along where she licked it, the force of her pulling your head back made your neck hurt. You almost cried from the pain, your lip trembling, but you held yourself together. "My Lady?"

Alcina sighed. "Yes, darling?" She replied as she put the washcloth to your face to clean the dried blood. You stared at her for a bit, she grew a bit frustrated with your silence. "What is it, Y/N? Speak up." Alcina practically demanded.

Your eyes flickered down to your hands, watching your fingers tangle with each other. "Why are you... so, s-so mean to me?" You asked quietly. You felt Alcina's hand stop moving across your face but you didn't dare look up at her. You regretted the question as soon as it was asked.

"Darling, I'm not mean to you." Alcina said after a few moments of silence before continuing to clean your face, dropping the bloody washcloth into the bowl after she was down. "If I was mean to you, you'd be dead by now. Drink." She said, handing you a cup. Where did she get this from? What's in it? Smells like blood. "It's my blood and your blood, it'll help you feel better." You grimaced at her words. "Drink it yourself or I'll make you drink it."

You sighed reluctantly, taking the cup from her hands. You let out a deep breath before downing the contents of the cup in one go. It took everything in you to keep it from coming back up. Alcina gave you a small smile as you handed the cup back to her. "You're being so good, love." She pressed a kiss to your forehead and you leaned into her touch.

You could feel your eyes getting heavy when a large hand pushed you down onto the bed. "Wh-what?" You panicked a bit before realising that it was just Alcina.

"Eyes open, love, "Alcina commanded as her hand came under your chin. The smile she gave you when you looked into her eyes made your heart flutter. How could you ever question how Alcina acts towards you? Calling her mean, of all things. She loved you, you knew that. But something... something wasn't quite right, like a piece of the puzzle was missing. "You're mumbling, little one."

Mumbling? Did you say all of that out loud? Your face heated up at the embarrassment the realisation set upon you. "I'm sorry, My Lady." You apologised.

"Quite alright, darling. Shall we continue?" You nodded your head. You didn't exactly know what she meant, but you were grateful she asked. She wrapped her hand around your throat unexpectantly and you looked up at her with wide eyes, your hands coming up to grip her wrist. "Listen to me carefully. If I were as mean as you think I am, I could crush your windpipe right now. Strangle the life out of you. Imagine the look on poor Eliza's face if she saw your lifeless body because you made the foolish mistake to confuse my love and affection for you as meanness, cruelty even." You took in deep breaths of air when she finally let you go, rubbing at your throat and neck.

You wanted to apologise again, but you knew you didn't have permission to speak. "I think a little punishment is in order, don't you, love?" Alcina asked. Before you could answer, you were over her knee and you felt the sting of her hand on your ass. You let out a yelp, squirming against her legs only for her grip to tighten around you. "The one thing I do not tolerate in this castle is disrespect, you know that, little one. So why do you go out of your way to do it?" Alcina asked as she hit you again. She was not holding back with her hits. "Is it really so difficult to understand that everything I do for you, I do it out of love?" Another hit. You didn't realise that you'd started crying until you felt your tears hit your lips. You buried your face into Alcina's thigh as much as you could so it could absorb your sobs.

One moment you were over her knee, the next you were sitting in her lap, the Lady cooing at you. "So lovely for me, dear. So wet for me, too. Do you enjoy misbehaving, getting punished for it?" Alcina asked as her finger slipped inside you again. You shook your head at her question, sniffling as Alcina used her other hand to wipe your tears.

You brought your hand to rest on her arm as you moved against her finger. How dare she assume that you enjoyed misbehaving? You didn't. But the punishments for it were never bad, she went easy on you tonight. You convince yourself that she's gone easy on you all night. And that made a burst of anger bubble up inside you. "I'm not fragile, My Lady, you needn't treat me as such." You said, your voice as firm as you could possibly make it. It came out a bit gravelly from how sore your throat was from crying.

"No? You're not fragile, love, I know that. Do you dare question my intelligence?" Alcina asked. You quickly found your back up against the mattress, Alcina pinning you down. You watched as she got up from the bed, stripping her dress off "Every time I think you've learned, you disrespect me again. It's becoming a bit of a nuisance and I won't tolerate it. You know that. Maybe it is I that should be questioning your intelligence." Alcina growled before letting out a frustrated sigh.

You were losing her, you needed her back. "Wha-what did Mir-miranda say?" You asked.

Alcina's eyes flickered to yours. "That woman... first she called you a distraction." She opened up a draw and pulled out the strap-on, you gulped as you watched her put it on. "Then she had the nerve to tell me how she fantasised about making your hers." Alcina's eyes ran over your predatorily as she stalked toward you. "But you're mine, aren't you, love?" Alcina asked as she positioned herself over you, her cock pressing against your entrance, teasing you.

"Yours, I'm all yours, My Lady." You replied.

Alcina pushed into you. "Tell me I'm all you'll ever want." Alcina demanded as she pulled out before plunging back into you. "Tell. Me. Right. Now." She punctuated each word with a thrust, you cried out at how good she felt.

"You're all, you're all I'll ever want." You said into her shoulder. "My Lady, please, harder please," You begged as you started pushing against her to get her deeper inside you. You moaned as she thrust into you harder. "All yours, all yours." You mumbled.

Alcina smiled wickedly. "Yes, all mine." Alcina replied. "She'll never get her hands on you, on your blood, your body. Because it's all mine. You're all mine."  She was upset at Miranda. She was taking her frustration out on you as soon as she walked in the door. Love and affection, protection, possessiveness, all for you. She did it all for you. Your nails clawed at her back as you wrapped your legs around her waist, groaning at how it pushed her even deeper inside you. "She'll never have this, never have you wrapped around cock, never be able to take you the way I do. Never." You whimpered against her, a form of reassurance.

"Never, My Lady. Never." You said. You could feel your orgasm building up as Alcina's lips started kissing down your jaw to your pulse point. You heard her breath in your scent, her lips grazing over your skin. You knew she wanted to bite you, you wanted her to, you wanted her to make you hers. "Bite me, My Lady. Make me yours. Let Miranda know who I belong to." You whispered into her ear.

Alcina growled again and you felt her teeth against your skin, biting your pulse point. You let out a sharp gasp as you pulled her closer to you, moaning as your orgasm washed over you. The mixture of pain and pleasure becoming too much for your body to handle. "Mine, all mine. My pet, my body, my blood, all mine." Alcina said against you as she placed bloody kisses all over you. "Mine, mine, mine."

You could feel your blood trailing down your neck, could clearly see it all over Alcina's face. She was beautiful like this. She was yours. You were hers. "Yours, My Lady. All yours." You murmured against her lips before kissing her. "And you're mine." You said softly as you pulled away. Alcina smiled at you before she pushed her body off of yours. You pouted at the loss of her against you, suddenly feeling empty. "Come back."

"Shh, love, I'm not going far." Alcina cooed at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, her lips still sticky from your blood. She stayed true to her words, returning from the bathroom with clean water, a clean washcloth, and a towel. You watched as she washed the blood from your neck, face, and chest for the second time that night. "Are you alright, love?" Alcina asked.

You smiled at her, nodding your head. "I'm fine, Al. I was just... did she really say that?" You asked.

Alcina sighed, drying you off with the towel. "She did, love." Alcina replied. "But no need to fret over it, darling, she knows that she can't touch you. Can't have you." Alcina said. "Miranda may be strong, but my love for you is stronger. And if she even dared to touch what was mine, I wouldn't hesitate to tear her apart, she knows that." You nodded against the hand that was now resting upon your cheek. "Now, you ring for Eliza's tea and I'll get the cream for these bite marks. My blood can only do so much and it would be terribly rude of me to allow them to get infected."

You let out a small laugh. No, Alcina was not mean to you nor was she cruel. Everything she did was out of love, love for you. She loved you. And you loved her. You rang for Eliza despite how sore your body was and how much it protested the movement. Maybe that was something you did out of love. The way you assumed that she'd want to find you tied up, was that out of love? Was letting her treat you like a punching bag out of love? Marking you as hers, was that out of love too? You weren't sure, but you'd do it again if it meant being Alcina's and only Alcina's.

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[niuttuc]

The poll is over! This message will go through all the different options, talk about the purpose it serves and maybe add a bit of trivia about the card. This will be a long post, so I'll put most of it under a read more. Hope you enjoyed this poll, and there's definitely enough material for a second one at some point if people are interested!

But first, the correct answer(s)! Technically two of them aren't on tournament-legal cards, because one hasn't been released yet, but I included it because the text was funny and weird, and also to get an idea of how much of the sample were people that played magic but didn't follow things very closely. After all, the poll was aimed at non-magic players, for which it doesn't matter when the card releases.

If you would begin a turn, skip that turn instead. (19.3%)

This text as presented does not exist on any magic card, though Time Vault gets close. Some have pointed in the comments that it COULDN'T exist on a magic card because that would mean you never take a turn again, and that's not true. As with other examples in this list, other text around the one quoted could limit its application, or it could be a huge downside for a powerful effect. Epic exists as an ability that stops you casting spells altogether after all.

You control no suspected Skeleton. (17.6%)

This one was a double-whammy, not only is the card not released yet (people will start playing with it early February, this poll was made mid-January) and just revealed when the poll was made, the conditions for Cases like this one are written in a way that isn't really matched in most magic templating. And why would anyone suspect a skeleton?

Non-Human Werewolves you control... (3.7%)

While all the Werewolves in magic are humans that turn into wolves (at least the ones we know about) and principally from Innistrad, the ones from that plane have a quirk: When in Human form, they count as Human Werewolves, and on their Wolf side they just count as Werewolf. Immerwolf was a support card from the first Innistrad block that stopped your powerful Werewolves from flipping back to their weaker human form.

Coincidentally, this also means Immerwolf stops Werewolf partly mutated by eldritch horrors to finish their transformation, as a total coincidence because those wouldn't be released for another 4 years!

Roll a d12. (18%)

A popular option, even more than the skeleton! What kind of card game would ask you to randomly bring a d12? Well, this one does, at least if you're playing the specific card that requires it. For the longest time, dice-rolling in magic was confined to its joke, non-tournament-legal sets, but with the crossover Dungeons & Dragons set, dice-rolling was brought to the main game! With that said, the main sets of these that were meant for actual tournament play limited themselves to only using D20s, that magic players very commonly already brought to track their life totals (players start with 20 life.)

But in the supplemental sets associated with the D&D ones, that people would mostly play in more relaxed ambiences, designers experimented with the entire lineup of dice available. On top of D20s, we got cards with D4s, D6s, D8s and D12s in there!

You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game. (4%)

Be careful with demons! Years prior to this card, a card was printed that did the opposite, stopping your opponents from winning and you from losing, the idea being your opponent had to get rid of it to actually win the game. Then, in 2010, we got this one, using this text as a downside. In exchange, you got an overstatted demon that your opponent would HAVE TO deal with... Or stop you from dealing with it, if you don't have the means to get rid of this demon after you play it when you're ready to win, your opponent will get plenty of time to come back and kill you.

Cowards can't block Warriors.

A very famous line within the magic community, it actually appears on more than one card! Creatures in magic have "creature types" that are roughly separated into species and classes, but they all function the same as far as the rules are concerned. "Coward" is a type that no creatures had at the time of this card's original printing, but it made for a very flavorful statement of a rules text. It was beloved enough to come back on a couple cards since.

Put a card you own from outside the game into your hand. (4%)

This card was part of a cycle (one card of each color) of Wishes in its original set which all had a variation on this effect. Most colors' could only grab from a subset of cards, but the black one got to get anything at the cost of a hefty drawback. This effect has come back semi-regularly since, and is known in the game as a "Wish" effect. In tournament play, thankfully, it is limited to grabbing cards from the "sideboard" you bring to tweak your deck between rounds of a match, containing a maximum of fifteen cards, and not an entire multi-thousand card collection.

In the aforementioned D&D crossover set, it made for a very clean implementation of the Wish spell that spoke immediately to magic players... Though I've heard some D&D players found it lackluster for such an iconic spell.

Each player votes for death or taxes (5%)

Conspiracy sets were built on multiplayer and politics, and as such introduced a new voting mechanic that would let players around the table discuss the end result of you casting a spell. It was iterated upon in the second Conspiracy set, and then a few more times incidentally since. A lot of the voting cards have players choose between two options, so they were given names, but since the name don't really change anything gameplay-wise, designers had fun giving them some flavor. You can vote between death and taxes, between time and money, between wild and free.

Count the number of cards in your library. (9.1%)

Your library is your deck during the game in magic (which I intended to specify but forgot). Counting the cards in it is tedious and usually not something you have to do, but a few cards make you do it. This one is the only one to actually say that, and thankfully it's a bad card, pure lifegain usually isn't good in magic, but there's a couple spells that affect half of a person's library, and while they're not common sights, when they happen, it's counting time...

Chaos ensues. (7.8%)

Oh hey, one of those votes again! Chaos ensuing (and planeswalking) are tied to the Planechase variant of the game, that isn't played in tournaments, where the location you're in can change and affect the game during it. With that said, a few tournament-legal cards were printed last year (a cycle of these voting ones, and Missy from Doctor Who) that actually just make Chaos Ensue. Though that text doesn't do anything if you're not playing Planechase, the cards are still legal to play.

Cascade, Cascade, Cascade, Cascade (2.5%)

Most keywords in magic don't do anything special when repeated. Most. When they're an action like Cascade, you can just chain them together! A few cards were made over the years with double cascade, but to amp it up a notch, a few years back this card was made that is just huge and Cascades 4 times.

If it's neither day nor night... (4.2%)

The Midnight Hunt set introduced a Day/Night cycle to magic, that switches depending on players' actions, and it can be pretty annoying to keep track of. To avoid polluting games that don't need it across formats with it, the Day/Night cycle starts inactive and only starts when it's introduced by a card, until then, players are in a limbo of neither day nor night that does nothing gameplay-wise. Most of the ways to introduce the cycle start during the day, but a couple notable cards can bring about the night directly, and by themselves.

Weird Magic: the Gathering effects

Magic has a lot of cards and mechanics, so kinda wanted to try and see how well people both in and out of the community could fare at one of these. For fairness, I limited things to paper, tournament-legal cards, none of the joke sets or digital exclusive ones. Using current versions of each card's text, presented here as excerpts. Order for the poll was randomized. Reblog for a bigger sample size hopefully outside the magic community.

[lovebirdgames]

Hello hello, Bandits! Happy WIP Wednesday!

After a poll where 1/3 who voted said they don’t want to play bad ends, and speaking to various fans who fear experiencing that much emotional turmoil at band camp, we decided we will provide a walkthrough on our future website for those who want it. Most likely, it will just be a list of correct answers to pick. Spoil at your own risk! I must also add, despite avoiding bad endings, you will not be able to avoid bad situations.

Alex continues to work on the soundtrack while my mom closes in on finishing with the voice clips. Alex wrapped up two more songs and my mom only has Tom’s route and the final route left. Meanwhile, all I have to do is lie on the floor and eat cubed cheese.

Just kidding. While I wait for the game, I am working on editing some fun new video content! The TikTok garnered over a thousand followers in under two weeks and has proven a great way to get the game out there. I am still an old fogie who hates trends so I mainly post original content like behind the scenes, character features, fun facts, and silly skits. Even if you hate TikTok, I’d encourage you to check out the account.

In case you missed it, you should definitely check out Front Ensemble ASMR. Alex edited the audio and I did the visuals. Make sure you watch it all the way through to get the full high school pit experience. Being captain of a young pit section is hard, but if anyone can handle it, it’s Marian!

Moving on from there, our GUI artist khoaisama is hard at work. Check out the Extras menu she’s currently working on!

Gallery and Music are home to the CGs and soundtrack. End List is for the completionists who’d like to obtain every single ending (we had fun naming them). You will not want to miss the unlockable Side Story, trust me. And the Alma Mater? Give it a look once you’ve graduated (well, beaten) all of the boys’ routes. 

See you next week!