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ps-cactus · 14 days ago

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Shades of Silver Lining - Ch. 5.1 - posted ✅

Ch.4 <- | -> Ch.5.2 | the first post aka story teaser + tags

word count: 4700 ✨ [ AO3 ] ✨ [ Wattpad ]

a/n: Huge thanks to @accio-bagel for beta reading! The whole story is rated MATURE for various forms of traumas and violence. Tags and trigger warnings specific for this chapter: Main: Family Conflict, Toxic Family Dynamics. MOSTLY NOT EXPLICIT: Physical Abuse, Parental Abuse, Parental Neglect, Sibling Abuse. Also: Self-Doubt, Guilt, Occasionally BITTERSWEET, ESCAPE PLANS, Hurt/COMFORT, Internal Conflict, Manipulation, Coping Mechanisms, PTSD Symptoms, Moments of Self-Loathing, Mentions of Pureblood Supremacy, Mentions of Arranged Marriage, Mentions of Alcohol.

And the last one - I'm sorry.

Summary: Several scenes of Ominis’ days in the Gaunt manor, where he is burdened the most by the constant reminder that he’s still under his family’s control. Each forced conversation is a careful dance around his father’s suspicions and his brother's hostility. Ominis clings to the thought of returning to Hogwarts and the people he trusts, counting down the days until he can finally break free. He struggles to keep a hold on his own hopes, but every single step in this house feels like walking on ice that is thinner than ever.

First time I post whole chapter on Tumblr, let's goo:

Eighteen months and twenty-two days.

Ominis paused, his hand brushing against the slightly scuffed bannister. Only half an hour here, and the usual eerie cold of the manor already chilled him to the bone, more than the frosty January drizzle had. He listened carefully, yet all he could hear were the soft rustling of the rain outside and the mild bustle from the dining room below. His wand subtly indicated the nearest objects, that were undeniably motionless.

"Sure the letter isn't an option?"

"It's far better if they know about this directly from me, Alyn. That I had to speak with the Auror."

"Sorry, we shouldn't have…"

"No, in fact, it's advantageous. He would've summoned me today regardless. He made it very clear."

He gained some precious moments to build a defence for Alyn from Marvolo and to shield himself from Father's suspicions. Until he graduated and could truly vanish from their reach, it was safer to avoid any provocations, he knew it all too well.

Ominis hurried down the stairs, hesitating briefly at the dining room door. Entering felt like stepping onto uncertain ice, unsure if it would hold. But for the safety of those he cared about, he took the step. Warm, dry air carried the rich scent of beef simmered in herby gravy, yet Ominis couldn't imagine forcing down a single bite of anything the House-elves were still arranging. His entire being felt like it had coiled into a painful knot of dreadful anticipation.

"Your father should be back soon," Merope Gaunt's voice carried across the big room. Mother's voice seemed more ghostly with each passing encounter, just as her presence. Ominis only gave her a short nod. From the sound, she was seated on a sofa opposite the fireplace. He had no desire to sit with her and instead stood near the fire, slipping his wand into his pocket immediately. Father disapproved of him holding a wand even a moment longer than necessary for navigation.

"You cannot change who they are, Ominis," a tender voice reminds him. He would gladly trade all the others that had ever echoed in this manor for that voice, its sincerity and gentleness. "I know it hurts. But what truly matters is that you're nothing like them."

The front door banged with a force that seemed to drive all the air from Ominis' lungs, the echo of heavy quick steps reverberating against groaning wooden planks. He straightened, turning away from the fireplace.

"Oh?" The footsteps halted at the threshold.

"Evening, Father." His hand wrapped firmly around the fingers of the other, that was now painfully missing the familiar weight of his wand.

"Splendid." The surprise in Ivraxus Gaunt's tone was overshadowed by the most natural irritation, ever ready to explode. "I suppose my owl will arrive here shortly, then."

Of course he knew. The uncertainty of what exactly Father might have known gnawed at him, but Ominis wouldn't risk initiating the conversation now, lest all his fragile plans collapse into ashes that might well entomb him. Heavy footsteps approached the table, followed by a harsh slap of papers on the cloth. His fingers didn't twitch, though Ominis could feel the strain of keeping them perfectly still.

The clink of the glass, the soft pour of liquid, the faint chime of a ring against the glass. A quiet swallow. All was expected. Ominis tried to focus on the fire's heat, which reassuringly climbed along his legs and up his spine.

A solid thud jarred the table.

"Where's Marvolo?"

"Upstairs, I believe. Ivy…" Mother's quiet words to the House-elf were cut short as the footsteps echoed from the staircase. "Oh, never mind."

The faint pull at his brow tightened, but Ominis caught it, forcing his face into calm stillness. The little good thing he experienced this summer was Marvolo staying abroad. His sister had visited briefly with her family, but at least he hadn't had to endure both siblings at once.

"Father, pleasure to see you." Marvolo's voice had taken on a richer timbre since they last met, the restrained insolence beneath the politeness remaining as distinct as ever.

The muffled "Mmhm," came into the glass.

"Would you mind signing this?" The crackle of parchment accompanied Marvolo's words. "Hah. Look who's—"

The hollow, muted thwack was paired with a clipped exhale. Ominis shifted his weight uneasily, hoping the movement would disguise the flinch that had rippled through his body.

"Enough. Sit." The words crashed like thunder, completing the heavy drumming of icy rain against the window.

Ominis knew he was normally capable of compassion. But at this moment in this house he only felt relief. It wasn't happening to him. Not yet, at least. Reluctant footsteps shuffled across the floor, ending in the soft scrape of fabric as Marvolo dropped onto the sofa.

"What happened?" Mrs Gaunt's voice, though surprised, remained barely audible.

"Three months. Three months of meticulous preparation for this contract—wasted. All because rumours reached my friends today that Potter is collecting papers to detain him. Or arrest him outright, should she succeed."

Mr Gaunt approached, pausing not far from Ominis. Thankfully—no, delightfully—the voice, that was more irritated than usual, was always aimed at the sofa. "Few would have the patience for such nonsense. I certainly won't."

"Wait… Arrest?" Echoed Mrs Gaunt.

"There was an arson in Hogsmeade. Fiendfyre. In Hogsmeade, of all places!"

One step closer to the sofa.

Marvolo scoffed. "Horrible. Perhaps they ought to try doing their jobs better for once."

Ominis felt as if the fire was slowly moving from behind him to within his chest. He genuinely wished that Aurors would do a better job. The faint rustle of cloth and the retreating footsteps marked Mrs Gaunt's departure across the room, to where a busy House-elf could still be heard aligning cutlery.

"Your name stirs trouble again. And I am left to field foolish questions about you. Again." Mr Gaunt's every word sent vibrations coursing through the room, rippling along the manor's walls, and deep into Ominis' very being. The glass landed with a clink on the side table. "A delightful predicament, wouldn't you—"

"You can't honestly think it was me."

The impatient step followed at once, and sofa legs creaked strainedly. A startled gasp and the feet scuffing against the floor made Ominis feel the grand room suddenly shrink to the size of a cramped closet, suffocating and unescapable.

"Interrupt me again, and you'll be cleaning up your own mess—and rotting in Azkaban shortly after."

"Sorry. I'm sorry." Marvolo's voice was void of its usual arrogance at last.

Sofa legs groaned again as the body was dropped back forcefully.

"How dare you insult this family with such reckless foolishness? Look at me when I talk to you."

"It's not on me. Whatever happened there. I only spoke with a couple of people yesterday. Mason—she didn't keep her end of the deal, so I just—"

"Did I ask about people? For Salazar's sake..."

And—nothing.

This nothing felt surreal, but it didn't last. Soon the sound of Marvolo's breath grew louder, quickening and breaking once with a grunt. Instinct, born of familiarity, quickly guided Ominis to what was unfolding. He had long believed Marvolo to be completely inept at Occlumency, especially when compared to their father's unfailing proficiency in Legilimency. Except for one time.

"Ah, I see…" Mr Gaunt murmurs, gripping the face of his younger son tighter. He is fascinated to realise physical contact can also be a pathway into the mind.

The feeling of his father's hand is horrifying. Ominis flinches faintly, but he knows not to fight back. The worst part isn't even the hand; it's the odd disobedience of his mind, slipping from his grasp. All he can think is how much he wants this to stop.

His eyelids flutter, but the tears never reach his father's quickly retreating hand.

"Agh! What the—?"

The Healer later warns Mr Gaunt against further attempts, pointing out that recovery will require some potent potions and considerable rest. They explain the damage was caused by the boy's unexpectedly strong mental resistance, while Ominis, unharmed but equally terrified, stands near them, only wishing to hide again and never be found.

"Well… We'll revisit this a bit later." Father's voice grew almost cautious, though the irritation lingered. Ominis inclined his head and even leaned forward a bit, fearing that something vital was slipping past him. Why wasn't he furious?

There only was the rustling of parchment as it was briskly straightened.

"Is ‘Authorization' truly so difficult for you to spell? And the seal, wrong. I'm not signing this, unless you're truly aiming for Azkaban and a thousand-galleon fine… Now you. Ominis. I know you visited the Aurors today."

He resisted the urge to step backwards right into the blazing fireplace. The weighty footsteps, pounding like a drumbeat, were approaching him this time. He had to keep his face neutral, his breathing steady. He had done nothing wrong today. He just had to make it clear now, and try to keep Marvolo away from Hogsmeade.

"I'm sure your conversation was riveting. Since you turned up before even getting my letter, I'd say you're eager to share. Go ahead."

"The Not-Involved One is their prime suspect." Ominis made sure to sound with deliberate clarity. "The Head Auror said it was reason enough to talk to me, as his brother, often seen in Hogsmeade. Though he—"

"Hardly grounds for interrogation. Did they have anything on you?"

Father stood right next to him. Too close. The door was precisely five steps away. Too distant, it might as well have been a mile. The hastily crumpled parchment hit the fire with a faint thump, the flames roaring briefly as they devoured it.

"No, they didn't," his voice felt foreign. It was crisp and detached, though Ominis felt as fragile and fleeting as that parchment disintegrating in the fire. "But it wasn't—"

"You're still underage, did you forget? They had no right to interrogate you without my consent and presence." The hand slammed against the mantel, too close to Ominis' shoulder. "I'll see to it that all your words are rendered inadmissible. Foster is in charge in Hogsmeade now, am I right?"

"Yes, it was Officer Foster who wanted to speak to me. Though, he—"

"He wanted to talk to you personally?"

"He did. And he seemed... prejudiced. It's as though he's more concerned with the suspect's name than anything else. I didn't realise I could refuse at first. So I told him I knew nothing of Marvolo's dealings, which is true, and left as soon as I realised he had no authority to keep me there and called it a ‘conversation.'"

A pause was filled by an impatient metallic chime against glass. Ominis was still outraged that Foster had chosen to treat Alyn as a suspect instead of giving her the help she needed, and to waste time threatening him simply because of his name. But he kept focused on staying motionless, keeping his fingers relaxed, all his face muscles steady.

"Nothing surprising," Mr Gaunt commented finally. "He never learns, does he?.. Must be the lingering effects of too many Stupefies. At this point, he's begging to be reminded of his limits… A ‘conversation', you say?"

The step closer brought the intrusive smell of firewhiskey to Ominis, as if frustration itself had a scent.

"That's what he called it. I'd say it was a threat disguised as a warning."

Father's heavy breathing lingered uncomfortably close. The rhythmic drumming of fingers against the mantelpiece hurt his head from the inside, but Ominis didn't dare take a step back. He had always wondered if he was simply imagining it, or if he truly could sense someone's gaze lingering on him. He'd read and heard of the unsettling feeling he was experiencing this moment—of being reached for, examined from a distance.

"Obviously, had you said something to embarrass yourself, I'd be adding your mess to the one I'm already cleaning up. But hear me now." A hand landed on Ominis' shoulder, sending an unpleasant jolt through him, every nerve alight with tension. "If you so much as breathe near an Auror again without my consent, your regret will far outlast theirs. Understood?"

"Of course."

The hand left his shoulder, and the scent of Firewhisky receded slightly, but the tension in his body lingered.

An exaggerated scoff drifted from the sofa. It wasn't loud, but it was enough. The flame from the fireplace seemed to have burst forth and swallowed Ominis whole at once.

"I imagine things might be easier if faces on Auror's records didn't show up near there, especially right before disasters."

He regretted the words before they'd fully left his mouth. Ominis hated losing control. He hated being here. There was too much audience for these words, but it was too late. He clenched his teeth as though that could pull the words back. Father hummed in agreement, which only made it worse.

"Full of words today, aren't you? Desperate for some attention? Pathetic." The distant words slithered out, their hiss betraying them as Parseltongue. The fire blazed wildly in Ominis' chest, and on his cheeks, too dangerous for the fragile ice he still felt beneath his feet. He had to stay quiet, be smarter, but—

"Mirror much?"

This time, Ominis regretted more than just this stupid inability to hold back. Shifting into Parseltongue could happen unconsciously. The sensation of hissing words on his tongue was even more nauseating than the oppressive smell of firewhiskey.

A sharp movement disturbed the air right in front of his face. Ominis blinked, unable to suppress the flinch, though it was nothing more than a gesture near him.

"Get out. Both of you," Father's words were also hissing now, but quicker, lashing, his firm steps already striding decisively toward the table.

Skipping meals was nothing unusual here and Ominis couldn't welcome it more today. He didn't really trust this new tendency of his father's, noticed over the summer, as mother's health deteriorated more than ever—to dismiss rather than punish outright—though he couldn't deny it suited him.

"Actually..."

Ominis had barely reached for his wand when he froze again. The heavy scrape of a chair against the floor grated through the room.

"Marvolo, you wait. Ominis, I said, out. Now."

~~~ // ~~~ // ~~~ // ~~~

Ominis couldn't shake the chill, even in his supposedly warmest pyjamas. This small fireplace was never enough for his spacious room, and a warming charm wouldn't last through the night, so he was leaning over the dresser, searching for the warmest socks. His thoughts mirrored his hands, rummaging, restless: what had Father discovered? Did Marvolo have some brilliant plan? Or was he really not involved? Which one of these possibilities was more ridiculous?

Once he'd found a thick enough pair of socks, Ominis slammed the drawer shut with force. The old, unsteady furniture wobbled precariously, and he had to hold it steady with his hand and take a deep breath. The evening hadn't turned out so badly, actually. Without dragging anyone else into it he seemed to make his father consider banning Marvolo from Hogsmeade. Also, Foster now was one of the primary focuses of blame. Ominis felt no real sorrow about that; a man in Foster's position should understand the implications of his words and actions.

He climbed under the blanket, hoping that the weariness would allow him the relief of dreamless rest.

Eighteen months and twenty-two days. By tomorrow evening, he'd already be at the Great Hall, just in time to enjoy a proper dinner. He would be happy even to hear Reyes yelling at the Quidditch team, demanding they add more meat and greens to their plates.

And after that, he'd escape to the Undercroft. Alyn would prepare little cards with a rune on the one side and lecture notes on the other. At some point, when exchanging these cards, his hand would accidentally brush against hers—always so soft and warm—and linger. She wouldn't pull her hand away, and he wouldn't apologise, because in these rare moments of being alone, they wouldn't have to.

It seemed as though ages, not just months, had gone by since the first time he sat next to her in class.

"Sure. It's just a bit… unexpected," Alyn says before Charms as Ominis slides into the seat beside her. He pointedly ignores this remark, much as he keeps ignoring Sebastian—he's far from ready to deal with whatever Sallow's been trying to say these days, after... The thought brings a bitter taste, but Alyn's presence, as the only one who understood, made it a little easier to bear.

He thinks that lately life has taken on a wild unpredictability, like how she's somehow the only person left he can stand to be near. Out loud, though, he says only, "Might I borrow your Slowing Charm notes for a moment?"

The knocking returned Ominis from the class back to his bedroom, making him sit up. The sensation of his heart pounding wasn't comforting anymore, but growing sickeningly uneasy.

"Yes?"

"Master Ivraxus is asking for Master Ominis, sir," came a high-pitched, slightly trembling voice from beyond the door.

"What, now?"

"Yes, Master. Right away, sir. In the library."

A muffled pop told Ominis the elf was gone. As he left the little comfort his blanket and slightly warmed room offered, a shiver crept through him again. He knew more questions would come sooner or later and had the answers ready. However, the urgency of this request unsettled him deeply, to say the least. Something was off.

Ominis approached the stairs when he paused, noticing the subtle warning hum of his wand. Awareness struck in a split second, but there was no time to act—the Full Body-Bind curse had already taken hold. The cold stone floor caught him, its freezing surface pressing hard against his spine. His head buzzed, drowning out the sound of unhurried footsteps circling him, but he would always recognise them unmistakably.

The scene played out like something familiar as well. Familiar to the point of dread. His mind was clawing at Finite, even though he knew full well it was useless without the simplest wand movement.

Marvolo crouched beside him. "A little rat, aren't you? ‘Faces on records.' Disgusting." His wand jabbed against Ominis' chest. "Too bad you didn't tumble down those stairs—but that's something we can still fix."

The weight of the wand tip pushed Ominis fully into the memory that had already been creeping over him.

Small and vulnerable, his younger self trembles as the heartless laughter reverberates around him. The floor feels impossibly cold, slick with sweat and tears. He isn't immobilised, yet it offers no advantage—he is completely lost. The exact same wand presses suddenly against his chest, and one brief word burns into every nerve of his body at once.

"Mute now, are we? How tragic." Ominis couldn't hold onto the meaning of the words near him; they drifted away, overshadowed by the urgency of the memory. "I've got nothing to do with that. Is making me look bad in front of Father just a little hobby of yours now?"

The grip on his pyjama shirt pressed against his skin with brutal force. The discomfort was sharp enough to make Ominis try to clung to this sensation, desperately wishing it could drown out the other pain.

"What's going on there?" The distant voice combined with the weight of the fist pressing near his throat, brought to his mind another woman's voice.

"I've got you, sweetheart, it's alright. I promise this will pass soon."

The pain on his chest flared sharply, and Ominis clung to it with all his might—because this pain definitely wasn't coursing through his entire body, and nothing mattered more than that.

"Keep playing the rat, and you'll be treated like one. Your precious Sallow is now rubbing shoulders with the Aurors, isn't he? That's dangerous—for both of you. Remember that next time you open your mouth."

Sebastian. Ominis fought to focus, straining to grasp the meaning of words. The footsteps grew closer. Once again, he tried to feel his wand in his hand, but failed.

"Stop whatever childish nonsense this is."

Marvolo hesitated before pulling his wand away.

"Finite!"

His body unlocked all at once, and Ominis inhaled sharply, savouring the precious rush of air deep into his lungs and the distance now separating him from his brother.

"We're just talking. And we understand each other perfectly now, right, baby brother?"

Hands roughly dragged him up by the shirt, forcing him into a sitting position. Ominis ignored all of the drawn-out words, and the barely audible comments from Mother, mentioning, of course, Father. What mattered most was the stone under his palms—cold, but blessedly dry. The other pain had dulled, but the sharp pain in his chest, where the wand and the fist had pressed, remained vivid—and he welcomed it. Reality.

"It's not real, you hear me? Breathe, Ominis, alright? Please," says Sebastian in the urgent, worried voice of an eleven-year-old boy.

His hand instinctively clasped around his wand's handle, so familiar and comforting. Reality kept crashing down on him as the dreadful meaning of the half-heard words began to sink in.

Marvolo kept speaking, standing beside him. "You are so absolutely right. Wouldn't want to upset Father more than we already have." Ominis felt the mocking patting on his shoulder. He forced himself to act—a desperate move, but desperation has often been his companion, after all. His unsteady hand shot upward, gripping Marvolo's wrist.

Velvety laughter, indulgent, almost inviting. No—this isn't right… Alyn's voice, sharp and determined: "Show you the way out?" That's closer… The cold wind brushes his face. "Felt good, didn't it?" The trembling with rage voice lingers before slithering into almost inaudible Parseltongue, "I'd kill you, but..."

A scattered cheering of voices, while Marvolo grunts—the sound is displeased, sharp. "Don't be stupid." The words are sour with disdain… "Lies!" The voice cuts through, raw and trembling. The fear is there, just beneath the surface, twisting into fury… That laughter again… No… Velvety laughter is louder this time, pressing closer, refusing to leave. It grows, sharpens, until it almost breaks into something else—a voice…

Marvolo yanked his arm away violently, snarling, "Get off. Don't you dare."

Ominis clutched his wand, but his grip on reality still was tenuous at best. The indulging laughter lingered in his head, silencing the sharp "I meant every bloody word" and a dismissive huff Marvolo let out before his heavy steps receded into the corridor.

The second set of footsteps was gone instantly, walking decisively away in the opposite direction. Ominis struggled to recall if there had ever been a time Mother had stepped in. Maybe five years ago? Ten? But of course, the only reason for her to show up was because he had told her to.

Slowly, the ghost of pain from the memory was loosening its grip on his body, and Ominis pushed himself up, holding onto the wall for balance. It's nothing, he told himself. It wasn't even real.

His navigation charm faltered several times as he made his way to the library. He wasn't at all surprised to confirm it was deserted, but he had to check .

Eighteen months and twenty-two days. Maybe, it was twenty-one already.

He shut the door of his bedroom behind him quickly and, though it took effort, reinforced the locking spell. He leaned his head against the door for a while, as though the pressure could somehow force "It's been worse" deeper into his mind.

He tucked his wand under his pillow resolutely and crawled into bed, pulling the blanket tightly around him as he stayed perched against the wall. Sleep was the furthest thing from his mind. Wrapping his arms around himself, he tried to stop that ridiculous trembling. Silence reigned on the other side of the door, while the rustle of the rain shifted into the crackle of hailstones against the window.

He should warn Sallow that Father either has an interest in him already or will develop one soon. Marvolo wouldn't keep this quiet for long. His endless threats had long since blended, forming one continuous menace. Why had he stayed silent until now?

Ominis wished his lack of experience in Legilimency wasn't so painfully evident. But what concerned him even more was his brother's thoughts persistently drifting from course, ending up at that laughter again. He was surprised and concerned that Marvolo was capable of that. Could he be good enough to hide anything from their father?

Even in the memories he managed to grasp, nothing was clear enough. Unfortunately, his father had been right all these years—the natural ability would indeed be more practical for the person who could see. Then he would've been able to tell if there was any link to Hogsmeade, and… Beneath his gripping fingers, his arms still felt numb. Exhaustion must have dulled his reactions at first, he really needed to get back to practising duelling. But what excuse did he have for not responding to his brother afterwards? Cowardice. Some old memories scared him. In a real fight, it could have cost him his life.

Ominis hadn't allowed himself tears for years; he knew well how dangerous they could be. Now, they all formed a familiar lump in his throat—painful, suffocating, and—utterly useless. Just like him.

His mind drifted to Sebastian again. Sallow would have fought back—he always did. He could probably even smirk straight at the face of whoever threatened him.

"Send an owl when you're back, alright? We'll grab a butterbeer." Sebastian's voice dips into a conspiratorial whisper, "Or I can find us something a little more exciting."

Alyn snorts at his suggestion, taking an exaggerated step away from them.

Soon after that talk, Ominis strolls across the castle lawn with her alone, stealing what moments they can before his train departs, as they both agreed she shouldn't go to the station with him.

"This scarf is mine now, you know," she says, her voice carrying a smile for the first time this day. Ominis finds himself also smiling a little. He's especially pleased that she just sent Sebastian's jumper back by owl, though he tries not to dwell on that too much.

"You can borrow it for now," she says, still smiling as she drapes the scarf around his neck. Her movements are far more careful than her words, revealing a shyness she doesn't quite let show. His smile grows a little. "It's a long trip, after all. Just be back soon to return it. I already have an idea of how to make it look a bit less… Slytherin."

He tried to avoid thinking about her, as if she might sense his weakness through them and be disappointed, but he couldn't help giving in. He remembered the certainty in her voice in that memory. She was stronger than he could ever hope to be. She deserved better—he knew that.

Yet he also knew that he couldn't bear the thought of letting her go, even if the ache came from the shameful truth that he needed her far more than anyone could ever need him. With her, the idea of becoming the person he aspired to be felt real again—a hope he thought had died after fifth year at Hogwarts. For her, he wanted to keep trying.

His arms remained wrapped around himself, as if restraining tears that wouldn't fall. The hail tapped louder against the windows. He silently vowed to Alyn he would make it through. He had made it so many times here already. It could have been worse. Soon, Ominis could feel her touch. Less than two years, and he would be free to break his family's hold on his life once and for all.

The grip on his arm tightened and he made himself loosen his hand to preserve the beautiful, fragile feeling that she was near him. In his mind, it was her voice now, repeating "You can make it through."

The sound of hail on the glass shifted to the rustle of rain once again, fading into distance. Slowly, Ominis sank into sleep, the warmth of Alyn's voice soothing his trembling better than the tight bundle of his blanket he was shrinking further into.

...pt.2 ->

#TWO MONTHS of consistent everyday (except Christmas-NY lil holidays) writing #I ALMOST DIED #I BURNED OUT TWO TIMES #to push all the headcanons I needed for that into my head all at once - AAAAAAAAAAAA #okay nvm it happened! the AWFUL PAINFUL DISASTER chapter is here #I'M LITERALLY CRYING AND SCREAMING NOW #not sure any other of my chapters will hurt me this bad #btw it's 5 ch of 10 YAY #hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt fanfiction #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #snowcactus ssl #ominis gaunt x f!mc #ominis gaunt x f!mc fanfiction #Ominis x fMC #chapter fic #short story

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proudfreakmetarusonikku · 11 months ago

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like sorry to vent for a second but it’s so frustrating that I’m so used to bonkers fandom discourse that I’m genuinely frightened to say that I relate to two sibling characters specifically as someone who’s gone through grooming and thinks maybe one of them had maladaptive coping mechanisms that caused her to act inappropriate around family members bc i acted like that for a while without even realising bc I know people will call me an incest shipper when that’s. literally not what I’m doing like not even as a defence that’s literally just Not what I am doing.

#Vent

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shrieks · 2 years ago

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hey look, it’s theodore ‘ted’ specter! he’s thirty years old, he’s lived in shrike heights for two months, and he’s currently working at the black cat. i heard he’s pretty repressed, but i think he’s so gentle at the same time. can he make it out alive?

content warnings include mental health issues, self-harm, suicide / suicide attempt and abuse.

basics

name: theodore ever specter nicknames: ted, teddy, theo. age: 30 birthday: december 16 zodiac: sagittarius zodiac traits: no indoor voice, forms opinions off of pure emotion, obsessed with self-improvement, wields their truth like a blunt weapon, friendliest person at the party gender: male pronouns: he/him sexuality: bisexual height: 6’ scars: multiple large scars up wrists - always keeps them covered piercings / tattoos: none

family

his mother was young and unwed when she fell pregnant with him, and she married his father at eight months pregnant, just in time.

by the time ted was born, their relationship was in shambles.

his father wasn’t a good person. he was much older than ted’s mother, their dynamic was unhealthy and he mistreated her.

his mother left his father when he was still only a baby, and ted has never questioned the decision or felt the need to seek out the man that makes up half of his genes.

when he was seven years old, his mother met a much nicer man, they fell in love, got married, and then at eight, ted became a big brother.

his little sister is his favorite person in the world. at times she’s been the only person who ted truly cares about, and the only one who he believes cares for him.

he’s always existed peacefully with his step father, though he can’t say they’re close or have an especially good relationship.

his mother was his best friend once, when it was just the two of them, but in his upbringing ted realised she prioritised her own happiness over everything else and he lost respect for her.

his sister is the only family member he’s in contact with, though his mom calls him from time to time.

upbringing

ted was a happy child, not understanding that his situation was unfortunate and blindly believing all his mother did for him in an attempt to act as though they lived a good life.

their days were filled with love and laughter, and even the most hideous struggles they were made to face were disguised as incredible adventures for the sake of ted. his mother was a dedicated mother and actor.

he truly loved his life despite his circumstances, until things changed. when ted was seven, his mother remarried, and very quickly ted became second to his mother’s own wants, needs, and happiness.

his sister was born when he was eight, and he became even less of a priority. despite his family having grown so much in size, and despite them being in a better and safer financial situation, ted felt lonelier and more upset than ever.

he was a lonely and depressed child. his condition only improved when his sister grew old enough to be a proper companion and friend to him.

ted was always the best brother, and together, the two children had a lot of fun. their parents selfishly cared more for themselves and their relationship, but the siblings didn’t mind when they had each other for company and support.

his life returned to being good for some years, or so he thought. the truth was that his happiness - even what he experienced as a young child - was always a facade. an act put on first by his mother and then later by his own defence and coping mechanisms.

the happiness began to dull, his sister began to grow up and live her own life, and ted fell back into his terribly depressed and lonely state.

this time was the beginning of ted’s endless amounts of attempts to better himself and his life, but unfortunately every single thing he did ended in a failure grander than the last.

his life became more miserable with each month that passed, and each next year was unbearable. he failed with family, with education, with work, relationships, interests and everything in between.

constant failure and lack of support wore on ted as a person. reaching thirty and having never experienced anything real or worthwhile was his breaking point. so many years of heartbreak and gloom was too much.

he attempted to take his life, but was unsuccessful in doing so. what he thought was a way out ended up being a way into an even worse situation.

upon failing, he wanted to hide it from his family, but he couldn’t.

he was so ashamed of his sister finding out that he had almost left her behind, alone, like he always had been.

despite the two siblings having grown apart, his sister showed up and she took him back to live with her in shrike heights; she was devastated to find out how he felt, and what he had done, but she vowed that together, they would get his life back on track.

ted doesn’t think that the setting of shrike heights is a good one for him, but he’s found that his sister is the support and motivation that he needs right now. he’s trying so hard for her, harder than he might have ever tried before.

education

ted could have done extremely well in school if he ever cared to apply himself.

in the beginning he tried to make friends and connections that would better his life, but after becoming a victim of teasing and bullying almost immediately, he was too beaten down to try again.

in an attempt to better his situation, a few times he tried to join different clubs and societies, only to have bad experiences in each and leave them before he ever got the chance to get anything good from them.

he’s never been athletic, and was teased enough in gym class to never brave any sport teams.

overall, school was a horrific experience, and the older he got, the more the bullying got worse, the less effort he put into any of his work.

he ended up dropping out before he even reached his senior year.

he’s considering shrike university, but while he has the drive to try for something now, if not for himself then for his sister, he just doesn’t know what he’d like to do, and he doesn’t want to begin anything that he will go on to fail.

work

ted has had a string of retail jobs since he was a teenager.

he’s never been the best employee; he has potential to do brilliant work, but not in the roles he obtains.

customer service is a nightmare for him, yet the only kind of job he feels qualified to work after not completing high school.

he has a bad habit of quitting jobs when it’s not actually necessary; he’s afraid of how bad failure makes him feel so he can get extremely flighty.

he’s trying harder than he ever has before to succeed with work in shrike.

he applied to the black cat as he felt it would likely be the safest space for him, with unique people working alongside him, saving him from potential bad treatment from those uncomfortable with him being unlike themselves.

he wishes he could be going on to work elsewhere, a job that isn’t just retail, but he doesn’t know what he’d be interested in doing specifically and he doesn’t believe he’s qualified to move out of the mall yet.

as much as he has a history of being flaky and a bad employee, it’s always been his circumstances, he doesn’t actually have an inability to be a good employee.

relationships

ted has never been in a real relationship before.

romance and sex don’t come to him naturally, as much as he’s constantly craving that kind of companionship.

he had his first kiss in his mid twenties, which is a fact he tries to hide out of embarrassment (although there’s nothing wrong with it).

all of his little experience took place when he was in his mid twenties, and his failure in this department makes him struggle to try for more.

because of how beaten down he feels, he’s completely submissive. he needs the other person to initiate everything, though he’s able to reciprocate when it’s being controlled by the other.

he has the potential to be an extremely sweet and loving partner. he’s good to others, and would be especially good to a partner.

his biggest issue with trying to find a partner is how terribly he thinks of himself.

interests

overall, ted is trying his hardest to figure out what his true interests are right now.

anything that sparks joy inside of him he would consider an interest, and he tries to hold on to them for as long as possible to try to feel more joy.

his interests come and go quickly for the most part. he’s always trying new things desperately hoping to find something that helps him make sense of his life and his time.

he likes a lot of general things such as music, films, television and books. he’s not passionate about any of them per se, but finds himself glad when they come up in conversation as at least he knows a bit about what they’re talking about.

watching television is what he does most, compared to reading or listening to music, etc. he enjoys keeping up to date with the latest shows and he always catches the latest films.

he’s not athletic, though he enjoys being outside in nature. when he’s in a bad state of mind he tends to stay in, shut off from the world, so being out makes him feel good.

he’s very mildly interested in a lot of things; travel, science, technology, video games, pop culture. once again, though, he’s on a journey to figure out his proper interests and passions.

frequent locations

the black cat. he doesn’t love working but it keeps him in a routine, and keeps his sister from worrying about him, so he works often.

his sister’s home downtown. he tries to not stay home too often as he associates that with bad mental health, but he still hangs out with his sister at home plenty.

the mall. particularly places like the food court and julio’s, places where he can sit and watch and just be in the town.

the library. he likes to sit and watch here, too, but his favorite part about the library is all of the resources on so many different things. it’s a great way to try to figure out new interests and passions.

all of the parks in town. it doesn’t matter which one, or where, ted enjoys hanging around these spots in town. out of everywhere in town, he’ll keep going back to the parks on his walks or his days off.

in general, ted is the kind of person who is always randomly popping up new places all around town. he’s still quite aimless and lost, but in doing everything that he can to find purpose and joy, he’s really adventuring and getting out there in shrike.

personality

ted is a sweetheart who’s very clearly always just trying his best. he’s kind-hearted and gentle spirited.

he’s been through a lot, and shows signs of previous trouble, mostly in his awkward mannerisms.

despite how awkward he can be, ted always means well, and that shines through in his personality and his mannerisms.

he’s charming, in an aloof sort of manner. he’s not very well put together, but he’s trying his hardest in a very endearing manner.

he’s friendly, he tries to be and wants to be, but it’s also clear in his interactions that he doesn’t have the most experience with having friends.

he has a habit of mimicking the people he admires, and that’s most often characters in television and films. he doesn’t do this in a disingenuous manner, only in an attempt of getting ahead and bettering himself.

ted tries to be hopeful, but he still has plenty of bad days. he can be reserved, quiet, sluggish and standoffish on those bad days.

thankfully he’s doing better, especially with the more he tries for improvement, but he’s only human, and with such an intense history of mental health issues, he definitely has hard times.

when he’s doing well, he can be social, witty, and funny. he often has to take a small step over awkwardness to get into the flow of that, but the more he’s comfortable with someone, the easier it gets.

his first impression is often different from how he is when someone gets to know him.

he does tend to improve socially the more someone knows him, but then he has periods where he completely disappears and isolates himself if he’s not doing well.

he wants to be more dependable and supportive so that he can be a better friend, but he does struggle with trying to manage himself.

ted is extremely insecure, but he feels better about himself the more he tries to better himself and his life.

he’s a work in progress, but he means well!

#suicide cw #self harm cw #mental health issues cw #abuse cw #ted → intro #shrikeintro

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nursingscience · 2 years ago

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Nursing psychology

▪️ Personality

➖Topic: Defense Mechanisms

Whenever the ego feels threatened by an action, it enlists a defense mechanism to rationalize behavior.

There are several types you should know:

1. Repression—Gets rid of the cause of anxiety

2. Regression—Acting like a younger age when anxiety was not experienced.

▪️An example is if a child sucked their thumb on the first day of school.

3. Reaction Formation—Expressing the exact opposite emotion of what one feels.

▪️An example would be being angry but acting really kind in front of your friends.

4. Projection—Taking how one feels and placing it on someone else

▪️An example would be cheating on an exam and accusing your innocent classmate of cheating.

5. Rationalization—Making excuses for one's situation or cause of anxiety

▪️An example is that someone who drinks might put their drinking addiction on their friends saying they are just "socializing."

6. Displacement—Changing the target of one's aggression

▪️An example is if a child was mad at their parent, they might kick their dog

7. Sublimation—Rechanneling emotions into a socially acceptable activity.

▪️An example would be an aggressive person turning that aggression into passion and become a surgeon.

8. Denial—Refusing to believe an idea that causes anxiety

▪️An example how smokers may refuse to admit that smoking is bad for their health.

9. Intellectualization—Obtaining knowledge over something as a means of having a sense of control.

▪️An example is if a person suffers a tragedy, they would try and seek counseling and identify with others going through the same thing.

➖How To Use Defense Mechanisms?

These are some of the uses of defense mechanisms:

1. You can use this type of defense mechanism when you don’t want to deal with a difficult situation. For example, if somebody asks why you’re sad and upset then you might try and change the subject or say that everything is okay even though it isn’t.

2.You can also use this type of defense mechanism when you want to protect yourself from difficult emotions. For example, if you’re feeling really sad then you might avoid talking to anyone about it in case they make you feel worse.

3. Defense mechanisms can also help us to fit in with a group or to act in a way that is more socially acceptable. For example, we might say that we like the same music as our friends even though we don’t really care about it just so that we fit in better.

4. Lastly, defense mechanisms can be helpful when we need to put on a brave face for other people. For example, if your parent dies then you might have to act strongly for your siblings and not cry in front of them because they need someone who is going to be strong for them.

➖Benefits of Defence Mechanisms

There are many benefits of defense mechanisms. Some of these are:

1. Increases Your Self-Esteem

2. Helps To Cope With Stressful Situations

3. Manages Anxiety

4. Helps To Control Emotions

5. Helps In Formation Of Personality

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oblitum · 10 months ago

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Bryn winces, not realising he hadn't caught onto that piece of information already. Damnit, if only she'd kept her mouth shut a little longer. She's beginning to regret everything about this conversation, everything about agreeing to talk to him. She works her jaw, glancing away uncomfortably. It's not that he doesn't have a right to ask these questions, or that he doesn't deserve answers but Bryn feels vulnerable. and vulnerable is never something Bryn has dealt well with. She's never had to have her siblings step in before; never needed saving and even if Freya and Finn were the last people to gloat; her pride was wounded. She didn't like not having the answer to her problem, being unable to fix it herself.

Her mouth opens and then closes again, features flushing. She knows she's being unkind but sharp words have always been her defence mechanism. It was supposed to be harder as a vampire, having emotions. . . everything was heightened but the truth is as an original, she'd found a medium, a way to bury her feelings enough they didn't overwhelm her, that she didn't feel the need to turn it off, but now, being human again? It was like all those coping mechanisms were crashing down around her and she feels tears prickle in her gaze in frustration and she sucks in a breath through her teeth, hoping he won't notice her losing her composure.

" I know. " She begins softly when she's sure she can hold her voice steady, though there's still a hint of wariness in her tone. She lets out a heavy breath, placing her cup on the table and leaning forward, hands rubbing down her face, and sighs. " I know. " She repeats again, an apology in her tone as she leans back in her chair. " I'm sorry Finn, you didn't deserve that. " because he didn't, she knows he wants to help. Lips purse, his question giving her pause. She's not sure he fully understands it's not a reflection on him, as to why she won't let him help her, why she kept it to herself.

A frown furrows her brows. " I don't know Finn. " she admits " I'm not sure I was thinking about you at all. " she tries to find the words to explain. " I thought it would be safer if you didn't know, for all of us. I thought if I could fix it before word got out, then that would be safest. " She holds up a hand, as though to stop him commenting. " I've left a lot of people to keep them safe, so there's nothing to exploit should our enemies come looking. Don't think I wouldn't do the same for this family. " another pause. " I know I was gone. . . for a long time, that sometimes I keep you at arms length but that doesn't mean there isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep this family safe. "

"You were human when you called me?" Up until now he had believed it was the result of her last run in with the witches. "Bryn.." The amount of risk she had taken going at it alone like that was off the charts. His voice was a mixture of worry and disappointment. Worry took the lead by far though. He let's out a sigh and shuts up, takes his time to process everything she was telling him. He only speaks again when he feels composed enough to do so. "I have done anything but act like your keeper. I let you go, respected your wishes and trusted -and still trust by the way- your ability to handle yourself." What he had trouble with now though was trusting whether or not she was being truthful with him. He wanted to believe though. And perhaps in this instant he did. "Honestly, what did you think I'd do had you told me from the start?" He does not understand her reasoning. Were they not stronger united than divided and keeping each other in the dark? How was distance going to keep any of them safer from enemies looking for a weak spot? "And before you answer that, know that I am not trying to lecture you. I'm just trying to understand." There was so much more he wanted to know, but he could not ask her twenty questions at once.

@oblitum

#˚・` . 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 Bryn Mikaelson ❛ These violent delights have violent ends. ❜#˚・` . 𝐀𝐫𝐜 Hey!Brother New Orleans #finn pls tell her to stop being stupid #but also this is the closest to vulnerable she gets and it hurtssss #she's trying ok

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levisparkle · 3 years ago

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✧*̥˚ What Is Age Regression? *̥˚✧

Age regression is when someone mentally reverts to a younger state of mind as a means of escaping stress, trauma or anxiety or through hypnosis or mental illness

Why do people regress?

1) As a defence mechanism to escape a stressor

2)As a symptom for a variety of mental conditions

3)From hypnosis by a licensed hypnotherapist

4)Inner Child Therapy/Healing the inner child

5)As a coping mechanism

Who can regress?

Anybody! Regardless of circumstance

A few terms you might need

Age Dreaming: A form of regression where you are pretending/dreaming of a childlike state but may not be regressed

Little: Someone who regresses

Flip: Someone who regresses and caregives

Caregiver/CG: someone who looks after a little

Babysitter: someone who watches over little

Sibling: a dynamic between two littles

Babyspace: Regressing to the age of a baby

Toddlerspace: Regressing to the age of a toddler

Kidspace: Regressing to the age of a child/preteen

Teenspace: Regressing to the age of a teenager

Big: When someone is not regressed

Caregiverspace: A headspace some CGs have while caregiving

Padded: Someone who uses pull-ups/diapers

Pet Regression: Ageres sister community, I dont have much knowledge of this community

AGE REGRESSION IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH AGE PLAY! IT IS ENTIRELY SFW AND IS SAFE FOR MINORS!

If I have gotten something wrong or you want to add on please do so!

All questions are welcome :)

#age regression #agere community #sfw agere #agere #agere blog #age regressor #safe agere

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ignitedbynatsu · 4 years ago

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Small creature

A/N: it’s a bit shorter then usual, nonetheless, I hope you like it @pro-crastinator14 !! I kinda used my coping mechanisme of how I deal with fearful/uncomfortable situations so I hope I still did okay 😅

Genre: angst to fluff

warnings: herpetophobia, swearing

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

"Look what I found!" Natsu's booming voice overpowered all the casual talking in the guild, making everyone turn to look at him.

"What is it?" Lucy asked curiously as she tried to look at what he was holding.

"It's a red lizard! It reminded me of Igneel but less cool and fewer wings" he explained as to why he brought the creature back to the guild.

Gajeel scoffed at that, still not fully understanding why the fire dragon slayer was so desperate to meet what he calls his father. "It's just an ordinary lizard, don't be stupid"

"You wanna fight, asshole?" It never took much to tick Natsu off, but it took even less when it was about something he cared about "anyway, I mostly took it back because I wanted to show it to (Y/N). She'll finally be able to envision what my dad looks like"

"She will be back soon, it was only a small job after all" not much later after Mira-Jane said those words, you strolled back in the guild, unbeknownst of the terror that awaited you.

"(Y/N)! Welcome back! How was the mission?" it was Erza who first noticed you.

A smile spread across your lips as you recalled the relaxing mission and the way too big amount of money you got for it "fairly easy, just some heavy work that needed to be done quickly" your levitation magic got often requested by nearby villages. You didn't mind since it was an easy way to earn money.

"(Y/N)!" Before you could sink into a conversation with Erza, your way too enthusiastic boyfriend waved you over. You were used to his over the top antics, but today it was on a whole other level.

"What got you all hyped up?" out of the corner of your eyes you saw something crawling on top of the bar. Your eyes went wide and a squeal escaped your lips as you realized what it was "what's that thing doing in here?"

You hid behind the first person you saw, which happened to be Gray. "What's up with you" the ice mage looked at you with a raised eyebrow as to why you were clinging on to his arm as if your life depended on it.

"What are you doing to Gray-sama?" A furious Juvia piped up, but before anything could escalate even further, Natsu started to chuckle, making everyone turn their attention back to him and the lizard he was now holding in his hand.

"Don't tell me you, the powerful and fearless (Y/N), is afraid of something as small and harmless as this little guy?" The tone in his voice screamed mischief, but you weren't planning on backing down. Something you soon came to regret.

You cleared your throat, straightened your posture and recollected yourself, but all that was audible was a stuttering mess "o-of course not"

"Really? Touch it" you narrowed your eyes at him. Everyone could tell how uncomfortable you felt around the creature, yet Natsu wasn't satisfied until you, the person who was supposedly scared of nothing, confessed to your fear of reptiles.

"No, I'm good over here" you crossed your arms in front of you as a sort of defence mechanism, but it gave you little to no comfort.

"Well, then I guess I'll have come to you" your eyes went wide once again as you took a step back. Small chuckles escaped your lips to hide your fear "you wouldn't do that"

The more steps you took back, the more he took forward. It didn't take long before he full-on started to chase you around the guild with the animal still in his hands.

Only when you were backed in a corner and the lizard right in your face, turned your weak attempts at laughter into sobs. Once he saw your glossy eyes and tears rolling down your cheeks, he realized how badly he messed up "(Y/N)-- I didn't mean-"

"Just get it out of my face, please" you whispered as your eyes were tightly shut. You felt stupid for crying, but you couldn't help it. It was your phobia and that's not something that should be messed with or taken lightly. Deep down you knew that the chances of getting hurt by it were small, but you still couldn't push down the uncontrollable fear and disgust that rose up whenever you saw a reptile. "Excuse me for a bit"

You went to the bathroom to calm yourself and just really take a breather from the crowded guild. Meanwhile, Natsu is left behind in shock. Never in a million years had he expected so an intense reaction.

He never meant to upset you like that. He thought it was all in good fun, because after all, you were laughing in the beginning. That's exactly why you couldn't blame him for what happened, you were indeed laughing, however, it was more of a way to try and hide how terrified you really were.

"You never know how to stop, do you?" Erza shook her head in disappointment once Natsu rejoined the group at the bar.

"Don't blame him, he didn't know about my phobia" you reappeared from the bathroom. A soft smile was placed upon your lips, but it didn't reach your red, puffy eyes. "But yes, Natsu, I am afraid of reptiles. I know it’s what you wanted to hear me say"

"(Y/N) I am so sorry" Natsu basically sprinted towards you as soon as he heard your voice. Guilt was basically swallowing him whole.

"I forgive you. You didn't know, and I know you just wanted to rile me up for a bit. I know you didn't mean any harm by it" you melted in his hands that were placed upon your cheeks as he softly caressed your skin.

"That is still no excuse for my behaviour. I promise I will never belittle your or anyone else's fear from now on" he promised you, making you genuine smile at him.

"That's sweet, Natsu. Thank you" you wrapped your arms around his waist while his arms protectively wrapped around your tense shoulders. "But, Uhm, if you don't mind me asking. Where did the lizard go?"

The Dragon Slayer's eyes went wide for a second, he had completely forgotten about the small animal. How could he be so stupid. This will definitely upset you even further-- "don't worry, I placed it outside" Mira-Jane cut his catastrophic train of thought, making you both visibly relax.

Natsu made a mental note to thank the eldest Strauss sibling and to never be near you when he activated dragon force.

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spookyfbi · 4 years ago

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do you think Klaus will snap in s3?

So… I guess it depends on what you mean by snap. I mean look, I feel like I shouldn’t make predictions because I’ve been here before during the hiatus of other shows and I’ve always been wrong about what’s coming in the next season so I’m probably gonna be wrong here too but what the hey, right? I do think Klaus has got a storm coming emotionally, but I’m not imagining some kind of bluescreen situation where he just snaps and his powers take over like what happened to Vanya. I don’t think that really makes sense for Klaus? Not for his character and not for his powers. I think it’s going to be more slow and gradual than a snap. He’s going to have to deal with his grief for Ben, and that’s going to be interesting because none of his siblings will be able to relate to what he’s going through. They all lost Ben some 13+ years ago, Klaus lost Ben yesterday. And then he’s confronted with an Alternate Timeline Ben who’s different. That’s going to be a lot.

And then there’s Dave and you know I have a List of ways Dave could come back but I am not anticipating any of the happy ones for season 3. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Dave but I think it’s definitely going to contribute to Klaus’ angst because I’m very sure that if we do get Dave, it’s going to be a Dave who doesn’t know Klaus as anything other than that creepy cult leader who knew all that stuff about him but wouldn’t tell him how. I don’t think season 3 Dave is going to like Klaus very much and that will also be a lot.

And then there’s also Reggie. I think that as much as Klaus laughed at Reggie’s funeral, that was a defence mechanism and we’ve already seen from that barber shop scene that Klaus is really a sad, scared little boy who deep down really does want his father’s love.

Rather than a snap, what I hope is going to happen is that Klaus is forced to actually face his trauma. He’s spent so long running from it, making himself numb with drugs and other unhealthy coping mechanisms to avoid his feelings, laughing when he’s scared and hiding behind his sexy trash image. If he’s in a situation where he’s not able to run or hide or pretend, where he has no choice but to face everything he’s been through head on, I think that will be interesting. A few people have said that Klaus will be immune to Christopher’s existential dread because his whole life is existential dread, but I don’t think that’s the case. Yes, Klaus’ life has been existential dread, but that doesn’t mean he’s used to it or good at dealing with it. If Christopher actually makes Klaus face his trauma without any of the defences he usually puts up, that will actually be completely new to Klaus.

#the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #dave katz #klave #reginald hargreeves #christopher the cube #christopher hargreeves

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il3x · 2 years ago

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actually I'm now Invested and I really want to share my vision in a brian autism propagandapost. I think he has juuuust enough autism + ADHD traits that if someone pointed out aisha's very obvious undiagnosed adhd and/or autism he would be like "but all kids are like that??". that's actually why I'm adding this to your post op because I'm pretty sure you've posted before about how Brian and Aisha care a lot for each other but fundamentally can't always be what the other needs. making them a fully ND family unlocks a whole new range of wretched sibling interactions. you KNOW that a preferred auditory stim for one triggers the other's sensory issues and vice versa. brian can only watch w/ subtitles and aisha can only watch w/o subtitles. the shrimp colours of intrafamilial annoyance. but they are doing their best!

the ways I would textually slot this headcanon in are:

-from the wiki: "He appreciates practicality, and tries to have a plan whenever possible. When pressured, Brian uses self-discipline and rules in order to cope." yeah I have nothing to add here

-we assume that his Normalguy 40y/o energy is a) to convince caseworkers and such that he's responsible enough to look after Aisha and b) a defence mechanism response to stress and trauma. I propose that it's all those but also c) masking. he would be Like That in every universe but especially here because he knows acting on instinct doesn't make people like him and think he's responsible. you KNOW this guy read parenting pamphlets and implemented them word for word with 0 adjusting for context. Steris From Mistborn energy. he LARPed as normal so hard it looped back around into uncanny valley

-this is not really evidence but I think when he works out he's getting really good proprioceptive input. workouts are fantastic sensory and emotional regulation and I think he deserves that extra little bit of comfort from something he already does

-doesn’t wormblr spend like 50% of brianposts talking about how socially awkward he is? at Least 50% of briantaylor posts? again he is awkward in a very normal way and again that is masking

-chore schedules. with cozen. you know the post. he's canonically a routines typa guy. it's possible he liked them because it was a sign of his commitment with cozen but it's Also possible that he got a little spark of joy from dividing them up and colour coding them.

-gets along with Taylor. my biggest point against this headcanon is how mystified he is by Rachel

anyways. adding autism to Brian (and it is an addition, I don't purport that it is canon) is like adding vanilla extract to a cake. A little doesn't change much but it deepens the existing flavours. And if you added enough to change the flavours it Would make him miserable you are absolutely right about that one

its an extremely important duty to make aisha autisticer. we need to triple our aisha laborn autism levels by 2024

#worm #brian laborn

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jamiedc-they-them · 4 years ago

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Sibling Duty Part V (Platonic)

Requested Imagine: “I absolutely LOVED reading Sibling Duty part 4! I also love the route your taking with Y/N and her relationship with Daisy. Would you mind writing part 5 (still set in season 5) where Daisy is trying to repair her relationship with Y/N and she tells her about what Deke said with her destroying the world, making Y/N hate Deke even more? You are the best writer ever! 💖💖💖💖💖”

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You had landed in a bumpy manner. But, to you, it didn’t matter, you were here. You were on the earth that was broken by god knows what. Seemed flying wasn’t either of the two’s (Coulson and Daisy) forte.

However, you were here, so that was all that mattered. You got yourself back up off of the floor, Simmons coming over and helping you up. However, she grabbed your arm, and felt you flinch just a little at the contact. She immediately moved to a different part of your body to lift up instead.

Once you were up, she gave you a look filled with apology’s and concern. She hadn’t exactly forgotten about your reaction to her in Kasius’ home. You knew she wouldn’t let it go; it just wasn’t in her caring nature. You were friend; one of her best friends, and you were hurting from something.

She knew that you and Daisy were on unsteady ground, but she saw that you were shaky with everyone. Hell, even Fitz to a degree, despite having followed him to the future and what not.

Still, she knew that this wasn’t the place nor the time.

Entering the Zephier, you took in the familiar space. You brightened as you saw a familiar face too.

“May.” You sighed in relief as you went over to the woman and hugged her, she returned it gently. When you pulled back, she finally realised that you weren’t with them since the start.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” She asked, slightly worried as to why you were here and not back in the present day.

She saw your smile wobble a little, but you held it, “We came here to save you, obviously. Can’t leave anyone behind.” You said, but she could tell those words still felt a little foreign to your tongue. She saw how your voice wobbled a little like your smile.

She looked back over your shoulder to Coulson, who shrugged, telling his friend to leave it for now. She did but sighed as she did so.

“Hey, Y/nn?” You turned to the voice of your sister, seeing her play with her fingers a little in a nervous fashion as she slowly walked up to you. You only kept quiet and watched her, letting her take her own time to gather herself and say what she wanted to say.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” You knew you didn’t have a lot of time to get back home, but you didn’t talk as you debated it.

“I have something I need to tell you….I need your help with something.” She confessed. However, she then stopped herself when she saw you finch at a BANG! That occurred outside the ship, “Wait…are you ok?” She asked, putting a hand on your arm; one that you immediately grabbed with your hand tightly.

“Ow! Hey!” She said, grounding you once again. You looked at your hand and gulped, releasing it, and watching as she shook it and then massaged it.

“Can we – can we talk about this later?” You asked, gulping as you took a long breath.

“Y/N, I don’t think we can wait any longer for any of this. I need your help, you need mine. That’s the promise we made one another.” She said, trying to get you to open up.

“Yeah, well, that was before all this bullshit. That was before you went into the future and I was –” You stopped yourself before you let it slip.

“Before you did what, Y/nn?” She prodded, concern growing and growing by the minute.

“Nothing, nothing. We don’t have time to play therapy right now, Daisy. We have more important things to do.” She was hurt by your words, her eyes showing just that. Your eyes showed pain at both causing her hurt and whatever was going on with yourself.

As Daisy went to answer, Coulson approached you both, “Girls, let’s not lose each other, alright? We’re a team, we stick together on this. Y/N, take a walk for a minute.” He ordered you. You saw that he understood what you were doing but was going to allow you to do it for the time being.

As said previously, he kept an eye out on you. Before you met the team, you’d do this. He knew it was a coping mechanism and reaction to things.

You nodded, grateful for the order and walked away.

“What are you doing?” Daisy hissed at Coulson. The father figure turned to the youngest daughter.

“She just needs a minute.” He said.

“She needs therapy, Coulson.” She snapped in response.

“You’re right, we all do. But we can’t get that right now. Once we get out of here, we will once all this is said and done.” He promised her. But she only kept her sight on where you just were.

You didn’t really know where you were going. To be honest, you were just walking blindly with no real goal or area to go to. That was, until you came across the path of Deke. The man sat on his own, back resting against a fencing for a small room; he looked lonely, he looked sad.

“What’s got you so down?” You asked, stopping, and leaning against the wall.

“You ever feel any distain towards your sister, despite being so tight?” He asked, looking distant as he said the words.

You gave them some thought, actually having a moment to think despite everything going on.

“Not really hate or distain, just more discomfort.” You admitted.

“How come?” He asked, still with a distant gaze.

“We just grew apart after something drastic. Then I get fucking kidnapped and end up in a….different world.” You said, trying to scurt past the issue.

“The Framework?” He guessed. You looked at him in shock.

“Exactly that, how did you know?” You asked in one breath.

“Played around in that myself, place to have some me time and be all woe is me. My own dad was never the best, I damned him for a long time. Now, really all I want is for him to walk through that door,” He finally looked at you, “But, I’m glad you have your sister. Even if she was the one that got us in this whole thing.”

“What do you mean?” Becoming defensive.

“She broke the world apart with her power.” He said, bluntly. Before he finally realised, “You didn’t know.” He said with some pity.

He expected to be thrown against the wall, but instead got a conflicted look on your face. You even had tears in your eyes, “How long ago was that?” You asked, voice cracking as you did so.

“A while.” He said, not exactly knowing how long it was.

“And you knew the whole time?” You asked in a tone that held a sense of anger to it.

“I did….But, I thought she told you.” He said as a justification for him coming right out with it.

“Ok.” Was all you said as you walked away, leaving a more dejected Deke as he slumped back against the fence.

“Nice going, Deke.” He scolded himself.

Daisy was sat on a crate, swinging her legs to try and pass the time. However, she stopped when she saw you holding a box in your hands. She gave you a small smile, one you returned.

You approached her holding the box, placing it next to her before sitting on her other side. She looked from you to the box, slowly moving her hand to the first aid box and opening it.

“So, Daisy, Deke told me something interesting,” Your sister slowly looked to you in slight fear as you continued, “You broke the world apart.” You decided to just rip the bandage off.

“…He’s right.” She said, confirming his words.

You nodded, “We’re going to make sure that doesn’t happen.” You promised her.

She looked at you in disbelief, “Y/N, we can’t –”

“We’re going to,” You said, firmer, “You told me that I’m not a monster, you aren’t either.” You assured her. You took her hand in your own and gave it a squeeze. She smiled with a tear smile as she returned it.

She was happy your shaky bond was starting to heal itself.

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As Daisy started to tend to her wounds, Coulson and May both approached you with news about Robin. Turns out, it wasn’t the best news in the world as to what the person that you and Fitz knew as a young girl who had now turned old had to say.

“So, the lady who sees the future says that there isn’t one? Super.” Daisy said as she put the bandage on her arm.

“Unfortunately, Robin’s not much for specifics. Anyone who has the answers is either unreliable, dead, or wants us dead.” Coulson bluntly stated.

“So, status quo.” You chuckled at May’s response.

“Yeah. The homicidal blue bastards are the most pressing issue. We made a pretty big splash when we broke out of the Lighthouse.” Daisy said as she handed you the box as she stood up. You closed it and joined her.

“Hope Mack and Yoyo are holding their own. We’re gonna come to blows with Kasius soon. Only question is, who strikes first?” Coulson asked.

“Empire?” He looked at you with a smile at the question, but he shook his head. He recognised that defence as well.

He looked to Daisy as he spoke, “We have Y/N, but it’d be nice to have Quake back with us when that happens.” He said in honesty.

“Won’ be quaking anything with this thing on.” Daisy said, gesturing to the inhibitor in her neck. You took a step back as the parents looked at their youngest child’s issue. However, he still gave you a look over his shoulder. It was one you were used to, message and all: We’re going to have a talk about you.

Did you appreciate it? To a point. But you had a handle on it your trauma, or at least as best as you could. After all, you didn’t see Fitz breaking down over it and crying to Jemma. You had to stay strong for the team and fight your demons on your own; you had made it this far doing it, so.

“Have Fitz and Simmons take a look. We’ll keep working with Robin, see what else shakes loose.” He told her.

“Copy.” The youngest of you all said as she grabbed the box and walked away, giving you a small smile before she went.

As soon as she left, your smile dropped as you turned to Coulson, knowing the discussion he’d try and have with you. Well, what made it worse was that May was there too, the woman that had seemed to of adapted to your many ways to try and escape these chats.

“You wanna tell us what’s going on?” It was the us that made you looked at him with confusion, shifting your eyes between the two people that were the only real somewhat stable parental figures you had ever really had in your life.

“I flinched a little Coulson, it happens. My old homes weren’t exactly a walk in the park.” He nodded at your words, but knew you were avoiding something.

“I know, kiddo,” He softened his voice and continued, “But, this wasn’t that. This was something else.”

“Trauma’s trauma, Coulson. I was due another….attack anytime soon.” It was May that spoke up to that.

“You’re not on a timer, Y/N. Don’t ever think that way about what you’ve been through.” She said in her caring, but stern voice.

“Too late.” You said meekly. You then turned away, unable to continue it and have a pity party when so much more was going on right now.

Still, you felt the stare of the two as you walked away, feeling their gazes on your back, feeling the concern and care for your wellbeing.

You were fine, Daisy was not.

“The inhibitor’s embedded itself in the greater auricular nerve.” Jemma said as she found where the inhibitor was. However, her tone suggested that it was anything but good.

“Ok….” Daisy trailed off, looking at her scientist best friend for a deeper explanation.

“Removing it requires sophisticated tools and a trained neurosurgeon, either of which we have. Even if we did, the slightest error could paralyze you from the neck down.” Jemma said, going that level deeper and sighing as she finished giving said explanation.

“Ok, so we leave it alone, then.” Daisy said with her own sigh. She looked to you with an annoyed look, but it wasn’t aimed at you; she was frustrated with all this, you knew that.

“Can’t do what he said you did that way, huh?” You said, trying to find some light in this, “Better keep your power in than out. Besides, you can hold your own anyway.” Daisy rubbed her eyes as you spoke.

“Thanks, Y/nn’s.” She said, meaning them as she gave you a grateful look and smile.

Fitzsimmons had seemingly found you a way home; with a piece of the Monolith that Coulson and May had found seemingly fitting into a device that was made for it to fit it seemed.

“So, you’re the sister, huh?” Vigil asked as he saw you waiting outside for your sister as she spoke to Robin. She always seemed to have a way with kids, maybe it was the fact that she never had a parental figure until she was in her mid to late twenties that drove her to make sure that other kids had something like that; had that love and care.

You knew you were with that with the younger people on the team, even those that had loving parents (or just one, in Fitz’s’ case). Still, she went in, and you waited for her. Besides, she knew Robin better. And that was fine.

“That’s me.” You said, watching him with distrust. There was just something about him. He seemed to have this desperate survivor feeling about him. You had been that too, you had done stuff to get by too.

“Hm.” He said, “I do wonder though why I don’t see you here.” He said, getting your attention.

“On what?” You asked, it seemed to be the question he wanted, as the next moment a video appeared on the laptop: the video started with footage of a Quinjet before a familiar figure walked out of it.

“There she is.” He said, pointing to Daisy on screen as if you’d miss her. You leaned in, watching the screen with an intense gaze.

“That was the last time anyone ever saw Daisy Johnson alive. At least, until right now obviously.” He said as he pointed to the curtain that cut you both off from your sister.

“Then what?” You asked, in a soft voice.

“Well, by all accounts, the city had been evacuated. No one there. After Quake walked in, 12.8 on the Richter scale, then the world cracked like an egg.” He told you.

“How could I --.” Daisy said, standing by your side now instead of behind the curtain, she watched it with pained eyes.

“That’s the question. But when you looked at this moment and all the suffering that took place after, you can’t help by wonder…if it could’ve been prevented.” You looked at him with a suspicious look, slightly pulling Daisy towards you just in case this would go the way you both seemed to be prepared for it to go.

It did, with more of his friends showing up behind you to block you off. The fight then started; with Daisy going for the two while you went for Vigil. As you swung, he blocked and slammed his own fist into your face. It sent you back to the wall. He then put his hands around your throat, cutting you off from air, “Maybe this is why you aren’t there.” He said as you continued to lose air.

He was pushed away from you the next moment as Daisy sent him back with a punch, before restraining him. She gave you a quick look to make sure you were ok, but Coulson was checking on you as May ran to a then shot Robin.

“Breath.” He said to try and coach you.

“Don’t……….you………….think………….I’m………….trying?” You said with breaks in between, trying to do just that. He just pat held your shoulder as you slowly caught your breath and regained your senses.

“Y/N, are you ok?” Daisy asked immediately once you got everything under control. She had just returned from putting Vigil wherever she put him. She had made a b-line right for you after that. She had replaced Coulson, you realised once you opened your eyes again.

You gave a nod as you sniffled, “Yeah, just winded.” You said, but she detected the slight tremble; she had heard the words Vigil had said to you and made sure to hit him once as revenge for it.

“You?” You asked. To an outsider, it would be your own concern (to your credit, part of it was, she gave you that) but, to her, it was you deflecting it and not wanting to dive into his connotations. Sure, she had the question herself about where you were in the video, but she didn’t know Vigil would try and kill you as well. She knew that it had to have an affect on your somehow.

Despite being agents that seemed to dance with death every day, she knew that everyone had their breaking point.

She was just scared that you were approaching yours and wanted to talk you off of a metaphorical ledge before it reached that place.

“Daisy,” You said, grabbing her arms securely as you saw the conflict in her eyes about how to proceed. She put her own arms upon yours as a way to show that she was listening, “I’m still here, ok? And I’m ok, really. But, right now, we need to get the hell out of this place and get back home, ok?”

She nodded, knowing that you were right. Still, she appreciated the squeeze you gave to her shoulders before walking to help with fixing the ship.

It took a little bit, but it was up and running for the most part. As you took off, Daisy had to release the anchor. However, as you went to help her, she shook her head; Coulson even forced you back down int your seat, “Stay down, Y/nn! I got this.” She yelled to you as she slowly made her way to do just that job.

“Trust her, Y/N. She can do this.” He told you as she ship started to shake and sparks started to burst, making you all cover your heads.

“I do! I just don’t want her to be alone in case something happens!” You yelled back as more sparks started to go off.

Simmons yelled an apology, but you were all busy trying to cover your heads and keep yourself safe. You were so close to using your ability to do just that, but you knew that doing so would probably leave you unconscious. You couldn’t do that, not in this type of situation.

However, you didn’t need to worry about that, as the ship then took off, giving you all the chance to save your friends back in the Lighthouse.

You had entered the lighthouse once more to find said friends. As you travelled further in, Deke offered to secure the machine that would get you home. However, he seemed to know the self-sacrificial ways you and your sister had, “When the other side of you is a frigging hero that can’t help themselves but do good, then be great. The world needs those people to make it home.” He told you both. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Coulson looking at the three of you with a smile.

You looked at Deke, “Maybe you weren’t as bad as I thought you were.” You admitted.

He looked at you with a small smile, “Yeah, well, guess we all have surprises that we don’t tell everyone.” With that, he left you all to go do what he promised he would do; protect the machine.

Then you got to an elevator, one that would take you to the others. However, as you entered it, you saw that Daisy hadn’t entered it with you.

“Daisy, can’t waste time.” Coulson said, seemingly oblivious to what she was doing.

She met your eyes, knowing that you knew, “I’m not coming.” She said, despite the crestfallen look on your face.

Coulson walked forward a little, “I know you’re scared about going home.” Daisy corrected him.

“No, I’m terrified. Look around. Billions of people, gone. If there’s a chance that I’m the cause, I can’t go.” She explained to you all.

“We can get through this, together. You don’t even have your powers anymore.” May argued.

“It’s only a matter of time, and you know it….Y/N does.” She said, softening her voice at your name as she met your now teary eyes.

“If there’s an emergency or if one of you are in danger, I will need them, we will find another way.” She assured you all, “If I go through that portal, you know it’s the beginning of the end.”

“I don’t. We don’t even know you did this.” Coulson was now getting desperate.

“I was right in the epicentre.” She said, bluntly.

“I won’t let you sacrifice yourself because your scared of what’s to come.”

“What’s to come is the end of everything.” Daisy exclaimed, desperate for you all to let her go.

“If you can change the future here, you can change it from back home.” May said.

“But we know his solution works! We can stop this today.” Was Daisy’s response.

“No, it’s not about today. It’s about tomorrow. Even if we solve this problem, the world is never safe. The job goes on, we go on….Please.” Coulson begged her.

“Maybe I don’t go with you. You know it’s the right move.” Your footsteps broke her eye contact with Coulson. You took a place next to her.

“You don’t go, I don’t go.” You said. The other two watched you both have a silent conversation, an argument, even. They watched as you silently did that, eyes widening and nudging of heads. Finally, however, she nodded and sighed.

“Coulson, as agents of SHIELD, you have trained us to fight. Now, we are making our stand….here.” She said, accepting your help.

“May and Y/N trained you to fight. I taught you to leave.” Coulson said as he was raising his ICER. You, however, beat him to it, shooting your sister instead with your own. You grabbed her and held her in your arms.

“Y/N –” Coulson said, most likely to try and comfort; you, however, were having none of it.

“I got her, let’s go.” You said, in full agent mode.

So, with Flint rebuilding the Monolith, you could go back home. But now you had a terrified Daisy in your arms who was willing to do anything to stop the world from breaking apart; you were terrified of what that would include.

“Let me take her.” Coulson offered, holding out his arms for Daisy.

“I got her –”

“Y/N, just let me help. Please.” You sighed, but gave into his want, placing your sister’s body in his arms.

You were going home, but now all of you now more frightened than ever.

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You had landed, you were home. You were back on solid ground that you actually recognised. You could almost kiss the thing in pure joy, but you then remembered why you were here. Coulson laid Daisy on a table as he started to give out orders to find where they were and try and find a way to set up shop.

As they all left, it was just you and Coulson remaining, “You didn’t have to be the one to do that, you know?” He said to break the silence.

“Someone had to, she saw you raising yours. So, I stepped in.” You waved off his thanks, only keeping your eyes on your sister.

“Thank you….for doing that. To be honest, as strong as my voice was, I wasn’t sure if I could actually go through with it.” Your leader and friend admitted to you. You just nodded as you kicked the floor with your shoe.

“You’re welcome.” You decided on saying, giving him a timid smile.

As Coulson went to say something more, Daisy awoke.

“Which one of you ICE’d me?” She asked as she closed her eyes again to try and help the headache.

“That’d be me, sorry.” You said with honesty.

“Yeah, not gonna lie, was kind of hoping you’d forget that part.” Coulson’s words held a slight amused tone to them, but an apology was still in those words.

“Sorry to disappoint.” She said as she finally sat up, with your help. She looked around, finally realising where you were, “It looks the same, but we’re….we’re home, aren’t we?” She asked.

“Surprise?” You weren’t even sure if that would work, but you tried; even putting your arms out and shaking them like a showman.

“Did you really think after everything we’ve been through, us three, that there would be any universe in which we’d leave you behind?” Coulson asked, usual soft smile on his face.

“Even with all the risks –” You cut her off.

“Shut up about them, we don’t care, Dais.” Coulson continued for you.

“We need you here.” Daisy looked at you both with a soft look and nodded.

She had stayed behind while you went out to investigate the first “omen” of the oncoming destruction. So, you and the rest went out, while she stayed behind. You turned to her when she said that she would be staying, “Daisy –”

“Y/nn, I need you to trust me. The others need you out there, alright?” She said, putting a hand on your arm. You sighed, but nodded and gave in, walking off with the others.

So, you went with them while Daisy stayed behind on the computers. She ate some of the snacks that Noah, a Chronicom in the Lighthouse, had stored. So, she took them and ate them as she tried to find out what she could for you.

“May I ask you something?” Daisy hummed a yes, “In all my years of observing the human race, I’ve never seen two family members try and push each other way like the two of you do.” His words gave her pause for a moment.

“We have some things to work through, I’ll give you that. I wanna help her with whatever’s going in in her head, but I can’t right now. I’m a danger to everyone, and she’s hurting. So, I thought to send her with the others for some company.” Noah only nodded at her explanation.

You had found a van and were driving in it. As you did, you and the rest of the team talked about how much worse the situation could be. For a moment, it was a nice cathartic moment, to talk about everything you had been through as group, as well as individual ups and downs.

“At least it’s not the watchdogs.” You said, adding your own thing onto the ever-growing list.

“Was that who you went after when you left?” May asked, softening her voice a little.

You nodded, “Bobbi was there too, you know?” The rest were quiet as they listened to you, “She helped me with that last job I did. Well, call it job, more like attack really.” They gave it a moment to fully digest the reasoning now of why they found you where they did, in a barn with a bunch of dead an unconscious Watchdog members around you.

You had made it to the place where the light was coming from, and it was Piper. It was nice to see your friend again. However, as you went to secure the item, guards entered the room and held you all at gunpoint, you had been betrayed by her.

A fight broke out, with you all taking on the guards and being able to do a bit of damage, but most of the time got thrown around. You were holding your own with your ability, but they seemed to just either not go down, or those that did just got replaced with more of the bastards.

Finally, though, it all stopped when you heard Elena gasp. You all turned to her and your eyes widened at what you saw: Elena with no arms and only rivers of blood where those once stood.

The masked individual that had done it had only walked away from you all as you grabbed Elena and ran out as fast as you could. Well, they had, you were frozen in your tracks.

“Y/N….” You heard a voice say your name and other things, but you couldn’t focus on that; you could only focus on the blood of your friend.

“ – Need to move.” The voice said again, before a hand took you arm, and you were moving. You heard your footsteps, but the main thing you heard was your breathing.

You heard voices of friends whiz past you as whoever was holding you got you through to the front, “Is she ok?” or, “What’s wrong with Y/N”? were the main ones you heard. However, whoever was pulling along didn’t answer, the just continued to pull.

They sat you in a seat, before going to fly. The sound around you was still high pitched, like an annoying air horn by your ear constantly going off. You closed your eyes and tried to breath in way that didn’t shake and make tears appear in your eyes.

Opening your eyes once again after that long breath, you saw Jemma Simmons crouching in front of you, holding your hands and running a thumb over them to try and ground you. You saw her mouth move, but her words were still not fully coherent to you.

You then felt a hand on your back, gently rubbing it; it was Fitz. You focused on the two best friends you and Daisy had known for what you wished your whole life; two people that wouldn’t give up on either of you no matter what it seemed.

You let yourself have this moment with your friends; let them comfort you and help you through this, despite their own worry for your mutual friend that was currently bleeding and could maybe be dead.

Daisy was awaiting you at home, she gasped as she saw Elena armless as she the woman was rushed past her with the others following. However, Jemma stopped and looked at Daisy with worry, “Y/N is still up there. She hasn’t said a word since we got back….Maybe you can talk to her.” She suggested, before leaving to help her other friend.

Daisy took a breath, one of bracing. She then made her way up the ramp, seeing you sat in a chair. You were crying, but not sobbing, just crying. It crushed her to see you like this, to see you spiralling so much and still withholding things from her and the others.

From what you said when you met Deke, she knew that you and Fitz had been through something awful, she knew that it didn’t just go away at a click of fingers. All she wanted, though, was to be there and help you get through it. To help you reach the other side.

She went to were you sat, taking a seat next to you. She thought back to when you were both at the pool, both struggling to process that HYDRA had blindsided you all and pretty much brought SHIELD to its knees.

She tried to reach out to do what she did then, hug you and comfort you. However, this time it went differently.

As she reached out, you recoiled, standing up and moving away from her. She looked at you with bit of shock, but then she saw the anger in your eyes. Despite herself, she looked down a little sheepish; you had never really played the pissed older sibling card before. Now, it seemed you would.

“What the fuck?” You sneered; yeah, you were playing the card alright, “I mean, you say the world will end if you leave, then stay and this shit happens? I mean, come on!” She just watched as you threw your arms up in the air in exasperation.

“I was doing this to protect you, I had to stay.” She said in an uncharacteristic quiet voice.

“I don’t need protection, Daisy, we needed you out there. I needed my sister to have my back. I – if you were there, maybe this shit wouldn’t have happened –” She defended herself at that accusation.

“No, I would’ve hurt you or someone else –”

“I have been hurt already Daisy! Plenty of fucking times; I can take it!”

“But it doesn’t mean you should!” She argued. She knew all about being hurt before, god knew she did. But she didn’t also have another separate life full of it’s own pain to contend with either.

“Hey!” Coulson yelled, making you both stop and look at him, despite heavy breathing as you were both getting worked up. You were both slowly getting angry. Coulson knew you both had a bad temper at the best of times; and, especially in these times, he hated to see what your worst would look like.

“We don’t get through this by turning on each other.” You scoffed at his words.

“This isn’t turning on each other, this is spy-sibling arguments.” You said, gesturing between you both.

“I get it, alright? Tensions are high right now; we all need a break. We will get one after this, I promise you.” He assured you; you both took a moment to stop and try and calm down.

“I’m sorry.” You both said in sync. If he was being honest, it kind of freaked him out. But he had gotten the result he wanted out of interrupting you both; that being getting two people he cared about a lot to stop fighting and work together again. His two daughters falling apart was always something he feared.

As much as he had gotten you both to stop tearing each other and yourselves apart, the same couldn’t be said for himself. Not with what was going on with himself. Not with the deal he made with the Ghost Rider to get rid of AIDA and bring that chapter to a close.

That was when the fear dimension opened; that was when his secret came out and pushed Daisy further away and pushed her further towards snapping. You fought back tears at Coulson’s news. However, it was the fear dimension that brought something to you that you didn’t expect.

May and Coulson had just had their heart to heart about what was going in with him, when they saw you hit the floor after having stumbled around the corner, what they saw was the fear that was on your face.

“Y/N, what is it?” May asked, having reached you first and put a hand on your shoulder as she helped you up from the floor. Your eyes were wide and breathing all over the place. You tried to answer, but you could barely get a word out as the person you were running from came from behind the corner.

It was Daisy, just….not. This was a Daisy that carried a pistol with intent to her you; they knew that their Daisy wouldn’t do that.

When they looked at you; the fear stricken you that was now hiding behind them, they knew who this Daisy was. The Framework Daisy that sold you out.

“Y/N, stay behind us.” You already were, but Coulson sill reminded you. You didn’t think twice, you only did as he asked.

“Just give me Y/N, and I can leave.” Framework Daisy told the two that were protecting you.

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to happen.” Coulson said, giving a faux pout at the end of it.

It only enraged her, with Framework Daisy raising the pistol. However, it was then grabbed by the real Daisy, it was struggle between the two. The shots went off, with May and Coulson pulling you down to the floor for cover from the bullets that had rang out.

As Daisy struggled, she slammed her head into her faux self, “Not using your powers, I see?” Faux Daisy taunted her.

However, the real Daisy only pulled the trigger on her Framework self. As soon as she did, she then turned to you and dropped the pistol. She ran over to you, falling to her knees in front of you.

“Are you ok?” She asked in panic, cupping your face in her hands, “Y/N, I need you to look at me,” She begged of you, “Y/N, hey! I’m right here, I’m right here.” She said in a (attempt at) soothing voice as she pulled you in for a hug.

You didn’t open up for to her, you only sobbed and slowly got your breathing back under control. You had then all piled into the main room of the Lighthouse, you all watched as Coulson made his way down the level that held the tear that brought all those fears in. You watched him walk through it, at least for a moment anyway.

The feed then died. It left you all in the dark and left you all spiralling further. You just stood back and watched as your friends all yelled; Daisy was arguing that you couldn’t just do nothing, while everyone else wanted nothing but to go down there but knew the risks.

Finally, she looked to you, “Y/N, please.” She said in a begging voice, even walking towards you and putting a hand on your arm, “Please, we need to go get him.” She was tearing up, but she was also angry.

You watched with pity as you uttered your response, “I’m sorry, Daisy. It’s too dangerous.” You said it in a soft voice.

You then had a moment of peace, a wedding between your two best friends. Jemma had asked for Daisy to be her maid of honour, while Fitz had gone for Mack as his best man. You didn’t mind that at all, you had been gone longer than Daisy had after all.

But it was a nice moment, a rare moment of peace with nothing bad happening.

Except, that was soon shattered the next day.

Fitz hadn’t been sleeping, barely if at all. It was taking a toll on him, he was snapping more often, he was yelling and slamming his hand against the table more and more in growing frustration.

However, he also knew what it was like to have a demon inside of you. For you both, it had been in there for ages; just personified in different ways. Yours was through your power, his was through his alter persona.

That persona then showed itself to him; one that then had two targets, one to torture, and one to torment.

He had found Daisy, tied her down to an able to take out the implant in her neck. It was needed, but he was the one that seemed to be wiling to do what was needed.

“Where’s Fitz? Where’s the real Fitz?” She begged, terrified and only wanting her brother to come back to her.

It was then that you were led into the room at gunpoint, “No….No, no, no, no. Fitz, Fitz! Please don’t do this, please let her go!” Daisy begged as a few tears fell down her face. You both looked at each other with broken expressions.

“Take a step, and you get shot. Not a kill shot. Well, It won’t be if Daisy lets me do what I need to do.” He threatened. Daisy was still terrified, out of her mind terrified. Her eyes widened as she looked at you; you were scheming. She knew you were trying to find some way to get out of this. To stop him.

You looked at your younger sister, nodding in an assuring manner. You gave her a smile, a timid one, but a smile. You then moved three words that in any other situation would make her feel warm and fuzzy at your sisterly affection and tell her that your dynamic was back on track.

This did the opposite.

“NO!” She screamed as you went forward, a shot was fired, and she was forced to watch you hit the ground with a wound on your chest. Blood hit her face, your blood. Fitz even looked horrified at the events that had just transpired.

“Y/N….Oh my – What did you do?!” He said to the doctor side of himself. You were focusing on not passing out, on trying to still find a way out of this on your own.

You could only let out chocked gasps as Daisy cried out for you as you heard more footsteps and then a gasp.

“Please, Fitz…. She’s dying.” You heard the broken voice of Jemma Simmons beg her now husband.

“I –” You heard Fitz say, before he seemed to realise that it was just him in the room and not the doctor. It was all internal and not external.

“No, no, no!” You heard your sister cry as Fitz started the procedure. You, however, finally felt the void take you and have darkness consume you.

When you came to, you were in your room and in your bed. You looked around, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. As soon as you tried to sit up, your chest flared with pain.

Your door opened, and Melinda May entered; for once, emotion was on her face. It was a worried look that then sparked some joy when she saw you alive and well.

She took a seat next to you silently, “Daisy’s been worried sick about you. We had to stop her from coming in here herself and quaking you awake.” She said in the hopes of lightening the mood. Your face, however, went to concern.

“Where is she? Is she ok? Is she –”

“She’s not doing the best with everything. She’s gone into leader mode and shut herself out from feeling a lot of the time. When she does, it’s full on. Like when she saw Fitz right after she heard about your condition.” She told you, deciding not to hold anything back.

Your head hit the pillow as you let out a sigh that then turned into a kind of sob, “Fuck.” You cursed as you put your hands to your eyes as if that would stop them. May watched you with a look of pity and sadness.

“I just wanted to protect her from this shit.” You admitted as you then put your face in your hands and slowly slid them upwards, then through your hair, “Some kind of shitty sister I was, huh? All she wanted to do was help and I –” You stopped as you gulped back more tears and looked around to try and keep them at bay.

“You’re right,” You looked at May, “You’re right, she did want to help you. We all did. But we knew it would take time. She’s willing to wait for as long as you need, she and the rest of us just don’t won’t you to forget that we’re here.” She told you.

“What happened while we were gone?” She asked, wanting to know more than ever. You looked at her with pained, but for once didn’t stop yourself.

“We were locked up, May. Fitz, he stressed himself with finding you guys; I was just locked in a cell that they never opened again. They were more interest ed in Fitz. So, my power clawed at me over and over again. I did a Daisy and made it all internal; now I don’t know when it’s gonna explode, I just know it will.”

“We can help with that, you aren’t alone in this, Y/N. Granted, Daisy will know more. But, that’s not the point; we’re a team, we help each other. It’s not just a one-sided thing.”

She gave you a moment to register her words, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to tell this to the other Johnson.” She said with a slightly teasing smile. You returned it.

“Hey, May?” You called out as she started to leave, she turned to you, “Could you grab Daisy’s laptop on your way out, please? I might not be in the field for a few days, but I still wanna help as Jemma does her whole doctor thing.” May gave you a smile and nodded.

You smiled too, finally ready to be helped and helped at the same time.

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Where you as good as your sister? No, but you were still decent on computers. She had taught you a thing or two, just a lack of experience was holding you back really. That was now going to, maybe, be remedied. You ran recon as the others went out.

“Y/N, thank god. Are you alright?” Daisy asked over the comms as you entered via your laptop to aid them on their mission. They were going to collect Polly and Robin; you were providing recon for them.

“You know how Doc Simmons is Dais, she’s keeping me alive.” Daisy, despite everything going on and her own declining mood, let out a chuckle at your words. It helped her a moment.

“Yeah, I now how she can be.” She said with a smile, remembering back to when she was shot.

You watched as she met the younger version of Robin, the one that didn’t bleed out in May’s arms. The one that May had apparently helped raise.

You watched as they took Robin back and tried to coax something out of here, the only time she reacted was to May. You softened a little as you watched the young girl hand May a sheet in a calm manner. You watched as she gave you all a clue as to where Coulson was. The man was with the woman who had taken you, a woman called general Hale.

Jemma had stopped by one more time, smiling at you as she entered, “How are you Y/N?” She asked, both as a doctor and friend as she changed your bandaging once more.

“Better, you?” You asked, trying to get her to meet your eyes. When she wouldn’t, you grabbed her hand in your own, “Hey,” You said as you squeezed it, “I’m not pissed at him. It was a part of him he had locked away and that showed itself more when were locked up. God knows I know that.” You confided in your best friend.

She squeezed your hand back as thanks, “What’s your thing?” She asked in a slightly worried tone.

“My power. But, once this is all settled, I know Daisy and I need to have a talk to sought all this shit out. Or at least to start to.” Jemma smiled, happy two people that were pretty much sisters to her were moving past their angst with each other and how it could all go back to somewhat normal.

However, that all, literally, came crashing down when everything stared to spiral. You were forced to watch a young girl, the one who had chopped off Elena’s arms, die in a brutal fashion by revenge from the woman. The girl’s name was Ruby, and you saw your sister keep holding out hope that the girl could be turned into a good agent. To be honest, you agreed.

Still, you were forced to watch her bleed out on the floor.

Then General Talbot (a prisoner of Hale’s) turned out to be conditioned by HYDRA and was a kind of mole to steal Polly. He broke out of your base using his new powers.

Then the real bombshell came, you only had enough of the Centipede serum (a serum you had came across before) to either save Coulson or end Talbot. Now you were pretty much stuck in a place of two extremes; either you let one of your closest friends die and save the world or save him and doom the world.

Your sister went to argue her point, when you came to the door, having made your own way there, “Y/N, you should be resting.” She told you in a tone that reminisced your tone when ever you got annoyed at her (one she had barely heard but seem to perfect anyway).

“You think I’d let you guys make this type of decision without me?” You asked, throwing or own two cents in on saving Coulson. You knew it was selfish, but it was honest.

However, May had broken that chance, literally by breaking the type that held the mixture that they needed to kill Talbot with.

Daisy, after calming down, went to you and hugged you, “I’m so glad you’re ok.” She said with a muffled voice into your shoulder, she put one of her hand’s to your hair, you hugged her back.

“I’m here, Dais, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere as long as I can help it, alright?” You pulled back and looked her in the eyes, “Now, I need to help out here, alright? But I’ll be with the others, you kick is ass for me, yeah?” She nodded and giggled.

You did as you promised, going with Mack and Fitz into the building to find Robin and Polly. You liked not having to do this alone anymore, being with your friends on equal levels instead of putting one on the other.

As you entered the room, you found Robin, just not Polly. Mack, however, jumped right in despite your callings out for him not to do so.

Fitz and May then entered. However, as they did, May turned to you with that motherly look in her eyes as she looked from you to Robin, “Take care of her.” Was all she asked of you. You knew what it meant: get her out of here.

You nodded doing just that.

It had come at a cost, however. Fitz, or, this version of Fitz, had died, buried in the rubble, and impaled in the side.

However, as much as Daisy had been scared by Fitz, you knew she wasn’t mad at the version was alive; she wasn’t hurt by the version that was alive.

Although, as you laid on the crate below her feet, eyes closed as you got some rest, she had a thought as she drank from her glass as she watched you.

You had a younger version of yourself still out there.

May then descended down to you both, smiling at the sight, “You had the talk yet?” She asked, taking the glass that Daisy offered to her.

“A little, she told me about how lonely she was. It hurts, knowing that while we were fighting for our lives, she was losing the will for her own.”

“Well, we’ll all be back together one day. Until we are a….you know, again, I know you’ll make up for the lost time.” Daisy nodded.

“You’re damn right we all will.”

She finished her glass as she looked down at you again. She knew you’d both take a while to fully talk it all out. But she knew you’d get there.

You were family, a healthy one. You would work through it. But you also knew that the others had your backs when it came to this as well.

Because that was what family did. They help each other.

#agents of shield imagine #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d imagine #agents of shield x reader #daisy johnson x reader #daisy johnson imagine #sibling duty

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